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violentdelightsandviolentends · 2 months

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Honey Girl. Chapter Eight.

chapter one. chapter two. chapter three. chapter four. chapter five. chapter six. chapter seven. chapter nine. series masterlist. the playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - Turns out, you’re not the only ones with a secret.

Pairing - Dadsbestfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - cursing. mentions of hospitals/medical settings.

Word Count - 5k

Authors Note - I promise that the reveal was supposed to be in this part!! but I hit 5k words real quick and thought rather than rush it, I’d give it its full own chapter. guess what’s coming next ;). as always, thank you for your love and support and patience and encouragement and kindness. don’t know where I’d be without it <3

as always, if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging!! reblogs are the only way to circulate my writing, which generates more of it. feel free to send me a comment or an inbox, too!! thanks, my loves!! <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

The sun beams through the white linen curtains, salty ocean breeze drifting through the open window. The rays warm your skin as you kick off the sheets, stretching your arms above your head. You turn over, to find the space next to you empty.

Rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes, you yawn, inhaling the scent of breakfast. Throwing on Bucky’s soft blue button up, you pad out to the kitchen to find him at your stovetop, shirtless and sun kissed.

“I’m getting the full girlfriend experience, huh?”

He grins at the sound of your voice, entire body lighting up with it.

“Girlfriend,” he laughs. “This is the soulmate experience, baby. It’s even better.”

You shake your head, but you can’t fight the smile that etches itself on your face. He looks so at home here, so comfortable. He reaches up to grab a plate from your cupboard, and you feel the sudden urge to burst into tears.

He knows where everything is.

He’s learnt his way around the kitchen just like he’s learnt his way around your heart. Your soul. Your very existence.

“You okay?”

He turns off the burner and glides over to you, warm hands finding your hips like it’s second nature.

“What’s wrong? You like pancakes,” he teases, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead tenderly. “Oh no. Did you want waffles?”

You shake your head, swallowing down the lump in your throat.

“I’m fine,” you say, but your voice cracks instantly.

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

He says it so gently, so carefully. You feel like a precious flower, something to be taken care of, cherished, loved. No one has ever made you feel like this.

“I just realised you… fit, here. Like you were always supposed to. I can’t really remember what this apartment was like before it had you in it too.”

Bucky cradles your face in his hands, tilting your head up to look at him.

“Wherever you are. That’s where my home is.”

You surge forwards to press your lips to his, alive and buzzing with the electricity of being loved so wholly. He reciprocates instantly, wrapping his arms around your back to pull you closer, so you’re chest to chest.

“Your pancakes are going to burn,” you mumble, forehead resting on his.

“Let them.”

“No, don’t let them. I’m not calling the fire department today.”

He laughs, kissing you again chastely before returning to his original position. He plates up your breakfast - pancakes, fruit, granola and yoghurt, with fresh coffee in your favourite mug.

“I could get used to this.”

“And you will,” he flirts, kissing the crown of your head. “Every day for the rest of your life, baby. You’re gonna have to wake up to my face forever.”

You pretend to shudder, laughing when he pinches your side.

“Come on, trouble. Let’s eat breakfast on the balcony and pretend we’re on a tropical vacation somewhere.”

“Sounds perfect.”

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

“We’re really doing this.”

You look up at Bucky, the heavy weight of his arm around your shoulders acting as a grounding agent. Your plates are discarded on the table, cleared and finished, the two of you curled up in your loveseat. The sun is getting warmer, and it’s bringing out Bucky’s freckles, all boyish and glowy.

“We don’t have a choice.”

“Honey girl, there’s always a choice.”

“Not this time,” you sigh, shifting so you can face him properly. “I wanted to do this on our terms, and now I feel like I’ve been forced into it. It isn’t fair.”

“We can wait,” Bucky reassures, confident and understanding. “We don’t have to do anything until you’re ready.”

“I am ready. I have been for a while. It just sucks that it feels like I’ve been pushed in a certain direction, you know?”

“I know,” he soothes, work rough fingertips tracing patterns on your bare legs. “But like you said, we were going to do it anyway. This is still our choice. These are still our terms.”

You press your lips onto his cheek, chuckling when his stubble tickles your skin. He retaliates by attacking you with kisses, planting them all over your face, wherever he can reach. You squeal, hands flying out to his bare chest to try and stop him.

“Your neighbours are going to think there’s a murder happening,” Bucky laughs, fingers sliding up your shirt to rest on your ribs.

“Oh no, they love you too much for that.”

He quirks his eyebrows in surprise.

“They do?”

“The lady that lives next door, Mrs Daniels - she’s like ninety, has that white cat you always see?”

Bucky nods in recognition, so you continue.

“She talks about how handsome you are every time I see her. Always asks when the ‘man that looks like a movie star’ is coming over next.”

He laughs, shaking his head as you tease him.

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious! She probably watches you come and go from her balcony. She’s gonna love it in the summer, when you turn up in your short shorts with no shirt on.”

Bucky chuckles, pulling you into him and leaning his head on top of yours.

“Don’t be jealous, baby. You’re the only one for me.”

“I better be,” you chide jokingly, pinching his thigh in warning.

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”

There’s no humour, anymore. Just love. So much love.

“I’m here now,” you whisper. “And I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

Bucky leans in to press a kiss to your lips, gentle and filled with a lifetimes worth of promise.

“I love you, honey baby.”

“I love you, Bucky Barnes.”

You let the morning sun slip over you like silk sheets, warm and smooth and completely luxurious. Bucky’s steady breathing grounds you slowly as peace and contentment settle into your bones, weighted and calming. No matter what happens today, you know one thing for certain - you have the security of Bucky’s love to fall back on.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You’ve been sat in Bucky’s truck for twenty five minutes.

It’s parked down the block from your parent’s house, just out of the way. You were pulling in to their street when you panicked, begging Bucky to stop the car so you could breathe for a second.

“Sweet girl, we’ll be fine.”

“I know. I know,” you exhale. Inhale again. “Why is this so hard?”

“Because we’ve been thinking about this moment ever since that first night.”

“It’s almost been a year.”

That seems to stop Bucky in his tracks for a second.

“It… it doesn’t feel that long. Feels like yesterday. But also, somehow, like I’ve loved you my whole life.”

You lean over the console to kiss him softly, trying to ignore the hummingbird fluttering of your heart in your chest.

“Honey, I can feel your anxiety, remember? If you don’t calm down a little, we’ll both collapse.”

“Sorry,” you laugh, taking a deep breath. “Sorry.”

Bucky intertwines his fingers with yours, thumb running over the backs of your knuckles. Soothing, like a field of lavender gently blowing in the breeze on the first day of spring.

“We have to do it sometime.”

“I know,” you nod, squeezing his hand once, twice, three times before pulling away and fixing your hair in the tiny mirror. “Let’s do this. Now or never.”

You pull up outside your childhood home, instantly relaxing a little at the sight of the colourful drapes and flowers in the windows.

“Shit, Buck. We haven’t even planned what we’re gonna say.”

“We don’t need to. Just speak from your heart, baby. I’ll follow your lead.”

When you walk up the driveway, you know there’s no turning back. You also know that the weight on your shoulders will feel a hell of a lot less heavy when you leave. It’s a double edged sword, but you’re ready to wield it, with love as your armour and Bucky as your shield.

You stand a foot apart and ring the doorbell, bouncing nervously on the soles of your feet.

“Hi, sweetheart. Oh - hey, Buck.”

“Hi, Mama.”

“Hi, Lori.”

“Didn’t expect to see you both today.”

You go to speak, but she continues quickly.

“I’m glad you’re here. We need to talk to you both about something. Come in, come in.”

You look at Bucky, realising suddenly that your chest is filled with a foreign anxiety. It’s his.

You squeeze his hand chastely as you walk past him to enter the house, kicking off your shoes in the hallway.

There’s something in the atmosphere when you walk into the living room. The sun is still shining, everything is in its rightful place… but it feels wrong. You know Bucky feels it too, judging by the way his muscles tense next to you.

“Is everything alright, Mama?”

You hate the way your voice sounds like a child’s, small and naive. Your Dad is sat on the couch waiting, always happy to see you. You press a kiss to his cheek before taking a seat across from him, Bucky sitting next to you. Your Mom joins your Dad, both of them looking at you with too much compassion for a normal day.

“What are you two doing here?” your Dad asks, voice still full of light.

Something inside of you is telling you to abort mission, postpone until further notice. You listen to it, wondering for a second if somehow you and Bucky can send messages to each other telepathically all of a sudden.

“Mama said you needed to talk to me. To us.”

He looks taken aback, only for a second. Something like sadness flashes in his eyes before he paints that familiar smile right back on his face.

“Yeah, we do. You sure you don’t wanna tell us why you’re here, first?”

“It can wait,” you reassure, catching Bucky’s minute nod from the corner of your eye.

“Okay,” your Mom begins. “First of all, I need to tell you not to panic, okay? It’s going to seem super scary, but it isn’t.”

Bucky slides closer to you by a millimetre, but you feel it like it’s a mile.

“I don’t really know how to tell you this, honey, so we’ll just start from the beginning. Jack?”

Your Dad nods before taking over the storytelling.

“It all started last year. I was doing some work in the backyard. One minute I was mowing the lawn, the next I was lying on the ground.”

All of the colour drains from your cheeks, and Bucky slides ever so slightly closer again.

“We thought maybe it was heat stroke, or dehydration. No cause for concern, and nothing your Mom’s iced tea couldn’t fix.”

She takes his hand in hers, both of them with their eyes fixed on you.

“But then it happened again. In the shower, this time. I didn’t hit my head, luckily, but I did whack my shoulder against the tiles, which hurt like hell.”

He laughs, and so does your Mom, but you’re not sure what’s funny. Anxiety is rolling off you in waves so strong, Bucky’s worried he might pass out.

Your Mom takes back the reigns, continuing.

“I was insistent that he saw a doctor, which he was reluctant about. Luckily, he agreed, finally,” she gives him a look, “and we got referred to a specialist.”

“What kind of specialist?” you choke out. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest, constricting your lungs with every passing minute.

“A cardiologist.”

It seems to be that word that unravels everything for you. All you can think is cardiologist heart attack cardiologist surgery cardiologist. Serious. Serious. Serious.

“Sweetheart?”

You grab Bucky’s hand, praying that the familiar touch will ground you back down to Earth. When it doesn’t, you feel like you’re falling, down and down and down with no end in sight.

“Honey, it’s okay. Hey, listen to me. You’re okay.”

Your Mom sits down on the other side of you as your Dad kneels down, forcing you to look at him.

“Sweetheart, don’t panic, okay? Everything’s going to be fine. I know it’s scary, but I’m okay.”

“For now,” you whisper, limp in your throat forming.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, and I know it’s probably not what you were expecting us to say. We thought we’d wait until we had answers to tell you… but it’s taking longer than expected. Which is why we’re telling you now. We don’t want you to feel like you’re in the dark.”

Bucky’s running his thumb over the lines on your palm, reassuring and steady. He knows exactly how to comfort you, like a warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders. If you listen carefully enough, you can hear the drumming beat of his heart. You tune into it, letting the familiar rhythm calm you down.

“Sorry,” you murmur. “I’m being dramatic.”

“You’re not being dramatic,” your Mom responds, squeezing her hand over your knee. “It’s overwhelming. And we’ve just… thrown it at you, with no warning. It’s a lot to take in.”

You’re anxious and scared and completely lost. You’re also safe and home and completely surrounded by love from all sides.

“I’m okay,” you nod, taking a deep breath.

Your parents return to their couch across from you, but Bucky’s hand doesn’t let go of yours. If they think it’s strange, they don’t say anything. You have a feeling they’re a little preoccupied.

“Now what?”

“Your Dad is still undergoing tests to get to the root of the issue. Whatever they find, we know we’ll all be okay.”

“Your Mom’s right. I have an appointment this afternoon for an EKG. They’re trying to rule things out slowly. We’ll get to the bottom of it, sweetheart.”

“Are you okay?” you ask, suddenly realising you’ve accidentally made this about you.

“I’m fine,” he laughs. “Seriously. I know it’s scary, but I feel good in myself for the most part. The most annoying thing is that I can’t predict it - it just happens. Very inconvenient, if you ask me.”

Your parents laugh, and this time, you try to chuckle with them.

“You’ll keep us updated, won’t you?”

Bucky’s voice surprises you, somehow. His fingers are still intertwined with yours, but you’ve been so focused on your Dad, you almost forgot he was there.

“Of course, Buck.”

“And if you ever need a ride to an appointment or anything, all you gotta do is ask, alright?”

“You offering to take me on your motorcycle?”

“Sure,” Bucky laughs.

“Absolutely not,” your Mom says at the same time.

You chuckle for real, now. This feels like normality - the four of you, joking around. You have to remind yourself, sometimes, that Bucky knew your Dad before he ever knew you. You were away at culinary school when they met, but you were told stories instantly about this new guy in town who bought the old Garage and drives a cool truck. Your Mom, of course, didn’t fail to mention his big blue eyes and chocolate brown hair, or the way his shirt hugged his biceps. You thought she was exaggerating, when she said he was handsome.

Oh, how wrong you were.

You’re one hundred percent sure you’ve never met a more beautiful person. Maybe it’s your Tethering talking. Maybe it isn’t. You’re not unaware of the way people look at Bucky - he’s got this old school movie star thing going on, and people seem to eat it up. You get it. You get it more than anyone.

But it isn’t his pretty face that makes your heart skip a beat. It’s just him. Him, with his contagious smile and healing laugh and observant eyes. Him, with his confident demeanour but gentle touch, his mind reading abilities, his talent for making you feel like you’re the only person in the room. He’s a rarity, Bucky Barnes. A diamond in the rough. You remind yourself everyday how lucky you are.

He knocks his knee into yours, pulling you out of your daydream. He gives you a look that asks are you okay? to which you nod subtly in reply. A conversation, somehow both silent and loud.

“As much as I’d love to stay here all day, we should get ready to go. My appointment is soon.”

Your Dad strides over to you, wrapping you in his arms. You instantly feel like a little girl again, safe and protected no matter what. You bury your face into his chest a little more, inhaling the familiar scent of your home.

“Everything’s okay, sweetheart,” he whispers into your hair. “Promise.”

You nod against him, tightening your arms ever so slightly. He gives you a squeeze, letting you know he got the message.

As you’re putting your shoes on in the hallway, you can hear your Dad and Bucky chatting away about the baseball game from the previous night, routine easily resumed. Your Mom brushes your hair back from your face, looking at you carefully.

“I almost forgot why you came here in the first place, babygirl. What’s up? What did you want to tell us?”

Your heart skips a beat and Bucky feels it, glancing over to you with concern in his ocean blue eyes.

“It’s okay, Mama. It can wait.”

She raises her eyebrows in scepticism.

“Promise,” you reassure. “Another day.”

She doesn’t look convinced, but lets it go anyway, pressing a kiss to your cheek gently.

“We’ll call you after his appointment and let you know what they say. We love you. So much.”

You hug her fiercely, realising that you don’t do it often enough.

“Love you guys. More than anything.”

Bucky gives you a nod that tells you he’s ready to go, both of you leaving a little different than you entered.

“Call us as soon as you get out of that room, okay?”

“We will, Buck,” your Dad laughs, mock saluting his best friend.

Bucky chuckles, falling into step next to you as you walk down the driveway. You make your way down the street, out of your parents view, before your knees give out. He manages to catch you just in time, strong arms wrapped around your middle. You both sit on the kerbside, Bucky rubbing soft patterns into your back through your shirt.

“Baby, hey. You okay? Talk to me.”

You take a deep breath, looking at him with watery eyes.

“What if it’s bad, Buck?” you whisper. “I can’t do this without him. He’s the best Dad in the world.”

Bucky pulls you closer, fitting you into his side perfectly. Two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, made for each other.

“They don’t lie to you, honey. They’d tell you if it was really serious. All you can do is wait, and hope everything will be okay. Which it will.”

You rest your head on his shoulder, letting his warmth calm you down.

“My Mama knows something.”

“Like what?”

“About us. She didn’t say anything, but I could see it on her face. She didn’t push it any further, but she was definitely suspicious.”

“We’ll tell her soon. Give it a little more time.”

You nod, wrapping your arms around his bicep tightly. He presses a kiss into your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo as he does it.

“Let’s go home, hmm? We can sit in the sun for a while, chop up that pineapple we bought yesterday.”

“Sounds perfect,” you whisper, looking up at him.

The afternoon hits his face just right, all warm yellow light and soft angles on his cheeks. The intermittent salty breeze ruffles his hair, all fluffy and sea swept. He looks like an ancient statue, a work of art from the renaissance, a museum piece. The sun could burn out tomorrow, but you’ll have a life source forever. Your Soulmate.

Bucky takes your hands in his and helps you to your feet, heavy arm slung over your shoulders as you walk back to the truck.

Your light in the dark. Your water in the desert. You’ve never been more grateful for him.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

“Close your eyes.”

Bucky’s driving you home, the sound of the ocean waves hitting the shore a replacement for the radio.

“What?”

“Close your eyes, sugar. I want to show you something.”

“How are you gonna show me if my eyes are shut?”

He chuckles, pinching your thigh.

“Just shut up and close your eyes.”

You smile gently before doing as he says, covering your face with your hands for good measure.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. You’ll like it, I promise.”

You relax back into the seat, allowing the breeze from the open window to whip through your hair. Eventually you come to a stop, Bucky clicking off your seatbelt for you.

“Keep ‘em closed.”

Bucky sprints around to the passenger side, swinging open the door and wrapping his arms around you. He practically carries you out of the car, ensuring you don’t trip while you have no vision. He plants you on two feet, making sure you’re steady before he lets go of you.

“Okay. Open your eyes.”

You blink slowly, adjusting to the brightness of the afternoon.

You’re in the middle of nowhere. The two of you are stood on a huge, grassy plot of land, overlooking a small cove of the beach. You’re tucked completely out of the way, not a neighbour to be seen. All you can hear is the ocean, the birds, and the sound of your thumping heartbeat.

“Where are we, Buck? It’s pretty.”

He takes your hand, looking out towards the water.

“This is gonna be our house.”

Your head whips around in shock, confusion written all over your face.

“What?”

Your voice is barely above a whisper, but Bucky hears it, clear as day.

“I bought this land years ago, when I moved to town. I always knew I wanted to build a place of my own, but I could never get the plans off the ground. Something didn’t feel right. And then our Tethering happened…”

He squeezes your hand tightly, pulling you into his side.

“And everything fell into place. I was waiting for the right moment to show you, and it feels like you needed it today.”

You can’t speak. You’re completely lost for words, looking out at the perfect view. Turning to him, you throw your arms around his neck, burying your face in the crook of it and inhaling.

“Thank you,” you murmur into his skin. “It’s so perfect. You’re so perfect.”

“I’m so lucky,” he chuckles. “My God, you were worth the wait. I’d wait another ten lifetimes if I meant I got to love you again for one of them.”

You’re glad he’s holding onto you, or you’re convinced your legs would give out. You lean up to press a kiss to his lips, savouring the spearmint on his tongue.

“I love you,” you pray into his mouth. “I love you so much I can barely breathe.”

He kisses you back, harder, determined to show you exactly how he feels about you. Your fingers tangle into his hair, making him groan as you tug. His hands slide down to your ass, gripping harshly as he pulls you into his front. He wants every inch of you pressed together.

When you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours.

“You can have anything you want, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“With the house. I know we talked about it that night, at dinner in California. But if you think of anything else you’d like, all you gotta do is tell me.”

“One storey or two?”

“I was always thinking two.”

“Then I’d like a balcony, on the master bedroom. I love mine back at my apartment, especially in the summer.”

“Done,” he confirms, pecking your lips again.

“And a porch,” you whisper. “That we can sit on and watch the waves, when we’re old and grey.”

“I’ll be grey a lot sooner than you,” he jokes.

“You’re a lot more relaxed than me,” you laugh. “So I doubt that, actually.”

You rest your head on his warm chest, both of you swaying to the song of the ocean.

“We’ve got plenty of time, Buck.”

“All the time in the world, honey girl.”

The two of you stay wrapped in each other for a little while longer, enjoying the company of the one person you were destined for.

You can’t remember why you were ever so against soulmates. Loving Bucky is the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon curled up on the balcony, letting the sun warm you from the outside in.

“Pineapple will always remind me of those margaritas,” Bucky smiles, throwing a piece into his mouth. “Our first date.”

“And last, apparently,” you laugh. “We haven’t been on one since.”

“I mean, we sort of date everyday, right?”

“Yeah, I guess we do. After we’ve told my parents, we don’t have to worry anymore. We can go out whenever we want, whenever we want.”

“Exactly,” he murmurs, leaning in to kiss you tenderly. “Not long now.”

The sound of your phone ringing startles you both, your hand flying out to find it in the cushions of the loveseat.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank God. I half thought you were dead.”

“Not dead, Lacie. Just busy.”

She laughs, and you realise suddenly how much you’ve missed that sound.

“You’re back in town, right?”

“Yeah, just for a few more days. Then I’m gonna go back to Cali and pack up my stuff for good.”

“Perfect! Me and you are doing dinner tomorrow night. I want you to meet Cameron.”

“Really? Finally! I’m so excited, Lace. Your place, or are we going out?”

“Come to mine. Cam is the best cook, seriously. I’ve gotta run, we’re picking out a couch today. A couch, babe! Can you believe it?”

“Happy couch shopping, you two,” you laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”

“Love you, bestie! Bye!”

You can’t help but smile when you hang up the phone.

“She’s gonna love having you back home again, isn’t she?”

“Oh, yeah. I can’t wait to see her more. I know she’s been so busy with her soulmate and me with work and with you, but I miss her like crazy. We text all the time, but it isn’t the same.”

“She knows about us, right?”

“Yeah,” you giggle. “She was the first person I told.”

“Thought so,” he laughs, pulling you back into his side. “Knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it from her for long.”

“She can practically read my mind. It was easier to avoid the truth over the phone, but the minute I saw her in person, I crumbled. She gives me this look, and I’m done for.”

Bucky chuckles fondly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“I can’t wait to get to know her properly.”

“Oh, she’s gonna love you.”

“I hope so.”

“She will, trust me. She used to talk about how hot you were all the time. Pre-Cameron, of course.”

“I’m glad you’re finally getting to meet him.”

“Me too. I feel guilty, you know. It was the biggest moment of her life, and all of a sudden I’m up and leaving across the country, barely keeping in touch through scattered text messages. I was so wrapped up in you and in work, that I wasn’t there for her like I should have been.”

“I’m sure she’ll understand if you say this to her, honey baby. You have to remember that her Tethering was a lot less complicated than ours. They just got on with things, as easy as can be.”

“I guess you’re right,” you murmur into his chest. “I’ll tell her all of this when I see her tomorrow.”

He wraps both arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer. You relax instantly, the warmth of his skin and familiarity of his touch soothing you like melted honey.

Your phone rings again.

“I bet it’s Lacie moving the plans around,” you chuckle. “She always underestimates how long it takes her to get everything ready.”

You find your phone from under the cushion and answer it.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

“Mama?”

“Where are you?”

The sun disappears behind a cloud, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I’m at home.”

“I need you to go and get Bucky, and come to the hospital.”

Your heart stops in your chest, and Bucky has to breathe for the both of you.

“Why?” you ask, barely above a whisper.

“I’ll explain when you get here, but it’s more serious than we thought.”

She sounds scared, which in turn terrifies you. She’s the bravest person you know, your Mom. If she’s afraid, you know it’s bad.

“Okay,” you choke out. “I’m leaving right now. I, uh, I’ll get Bucky, and - do you need anything? Does Dad? I can bring whatever… whatever you need, what do you need?”

“Nothing, baby girl. Just you guys, for now, okay?”

“Okay. Yeah, okay. I, uh, I- I- I’ll leave right now. Where is he?”

“Follow the signs for Cardiology when you get here. Room 4.”

“He’s in a room? In a bed? Mama, please. What’s happening?”

You’ve never heard your voice sound so weak. You’re kicking yourself internally - you have to be strong for her. You need to be.

“Baby, just get here as soon as you can, okay? Get Bucky to drive. I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.”

You try to hang up the phone, but your hands are shaking so much that you’re unable to press the red button. Bucky does it for you, intertwining your fingers with his.

He pulls you to your feet, smoothing your hair back from your face.

“It’s all going to be okay, honey. Put your shoes on and grab your purse. I’ll get my keys.”

He kisses your forehead gently, letting his lips linger for a second before pulling you inside and shutting the balcony door.

He doesn’t let go of your hand the entire time, even as you drive to the hospital.

You feel like you’re drowning. Repeatedly slipping beneath the surface of the water, lungs heaving, desperate to stay afloat.

Bucky feels it, too. All he can do is hold your hand and hope for the best.

All he can do is hold your hand and hope for the best.

tag list part one

@lillytracy6996 @securegorgon @roostersforevergirl @povlvr @val-writesstuff @dreadfulxives18 @1deadpool26 @abbygraceasd @nyutasgirl @mavrellover91 @winterslove1917 @f-this42 @skewedcherries @noisesinthedark @kandis-mom @black-cat-2 @harrystylesandthegoobs @vladsgirlxx @h0nestly-though @arienotari @nash-dara @wandaneedstherapy @galaxy-dusk @justherefortheficandsmut @cremebruleequeen @cjand10 @buggy14 @avengers-fixation @blueberrybambi @beautiful-loserr @sarah1barnes @miss-rebel-without-applause @ragingrainbowshipl @shamrockqueen @savemeroman @jenn-f @8crazy-freak8 @daddyjackfrost @openup-yourmind @adangerousbalance @mandijo17 @daddylorianisastateofmind @rcarbo1 @casa-boiardi @spideegwen @navs-bhat @mssbridgerton @asuni921 @middle-of-the-earth @mfrnchsk

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b1mbodoll · 6 months

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getting bred so deep it comes out the other side has my head SPINNING. that one nicho piece changed my life forever. drooling cum from the inside out… straight outta some hentai shit and i soo wish it was real…

do you have thoughts about who (out of everyone u write for) would also find that unbelievably hot? please share!

pairings: na jaemin, kim jungsu, kim taerae, winter, and yang jungwon x f! reader

warnings: inflation + creampies + breath play + oral + womb fucking + pet names (baby, puppy, princess) + daddy kink + mommy kink + g!p + size kink + fingering + dacryphilia + virginity ment + noncon

💌: ur sooo real for this baby 🫂 idk why the idea is so attractive but i love it sm like agh!!!!! i promise im a normal girl but these thoughts plague my brain daily so i hope u enjoy! p.s. nicho is also a fan of this but i alr wrote for him so i didnt wna do it again :T

˚ʚ na jaemin ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ jaemin’s infatuation with breeding you is almost concerning. there’s nothing he wants more than to knock you up and he could spend hours with his thick cock buried deep inside your tight hole, the tip slipping past your cervix with every thrust and fucking his cum directly into your womb.

he pumps you full over and over, til even the littlest bit of pressure on your tummy makes you shriek as your cunt gushes an unreal amount of cum. you’re so fucking full and it makes your eyes roll into the back of your skull, throwing your head back in pleasure.

“nana, daddy, ‘m so f-full! i can feel you so deep inside ‘m gonna cum!” you exclaim, gagging as jaemin’s cock pushes his cream so far inside it works its way out of your mouth.

“fuck,” he groans, thrusting deep one last time as he cums again. “oh god,” his cum leaks from your mouth as he speaks and it makes your walls spasm around his length, more of his seed drip from your cunt. “you look so pretty like this baby, wish you could see yourself.” another deep groan. “my dumb drooly puppy, such a good cocksleeve for daddy, look at you droolin’ cum.”

your whine comes out gargled because of his load escaping your mouth, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks as you choke and struggle.

˚ʚ kim jungsu ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ jungsu has such a thick cock, like im a proud supporter of the coke can dick jungsu agenda. no matter how many times he bullies his cock inside your tight walls it’s always a struggle. he’ll press his lips to yours when he begins to push inside, licking into your mouth with his tongue to muffle your cries of discomfort.

he takes his sweet time prepping you before he even thinks about fucking you, but even after tonguefucking your hole and spreading you open on his fingers you’re still impossibly tight, his dick is simply too big for you to take without sobbing like a dumb crybaby.

jungsu’s already made you cum on his fingers three times and despite how wet and messy your cunt is, it makes you wail when he starts to thrust into you, the thickness of his cock causing your walls to spasm. “how’re you still so tight, princess?” he questions, gritting his teeth and struggling to pull out, your greedy pussy sucking him in. “can’t even pull out, ‘s like ‘m fuckin a virgin.”

his words and the way his dick batters your cunt make you squeal and grab stupidly at his shoulders, tears streaming down your cheeks as you cream around him and make a mess of his cock.

˚ʚ kim taerae ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ thick dick taerae believers i see you, i love you and i’m one of you. his cum is creamy and sticky and he cums in thick loads, cockhead nestled deep in your tummy as he grinds his cock into you rather than thrusting inside. every load completely floods your insides, and it shouldn’t even be a surprise that he’s stuffed you to the brim causing his sticky seed to creep up your throat, making you sputter around it and whine from the feeling.

“don’t fuckin’ let it out, puppy, swear you’re gonna be in so much trouble if it leaks even a little bit.” taerae warns, voice taking an assertive tone as he drapes himself over your, chest flush against your back. you can’t stop yourself from keening, high pitched cries ripped from your chest as more cum fills your mouth.

he uses a hand to cover your mouth, sobs muffled while you struggle to swallow back his load. a pitiful long whine has his semen dribbling from your mouth and making a mess on his palm, panicked breaths causing some to even leak from your nose from how full you are.

“fucking swallow it or ‘m not letting you cum for a week.” spits taerae, tightening his bruising grip around your pretty little face. all you can do is shudder and try to swallow, gulps audible and making your cheeks heat up in shame when he laughs wickedly at your pathetic fucked out state.

˚ʚ kim minjeong ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ pretty girls have the biggest cocks n heaviest balls 🥺 jeongie love love loves splitting your tight lil mouth open with her fat dick <3 she’s hung like a horse and when you suck her off she has to pry your cheeks open while you choke on a mouthful of cum, tears gathering at your lashline while globs of cum and drool bubble out of your mouth, wet and sloppy sounds of you gagging round her length filling the room.

you know your girlfriend is a gross perv and it makes you so wet when you go down on her, hollowing your cheeks and suckling the tip of her cock before the pleasure causes minjeong to push your head down all the way making you unable to pull away and do anything else but feel how deep her cock is as she violates your tight little throat.

her eyes are squeezed shut in pleasure, bucking her hips upwards and groaning when her tip hits the back of your throat. “that’s it, princess, keep suckin’ mommy’s cock.” her words make you moan, the vibrations round her dick making minjeong clench her jaw as ropes of cum spurt from the slit of her cock, thick load completely filling your mouth, your hands grabbing at her hips before scrambing to push her away.

she doesn’t stop though. instead she works her hand through your hair and grabs a fistful, your face meeting her pelvis as she continues cumming, some of her seed even spilling out of your nose. minjeong’s cock twitches at the sight and your depraved mommy releases her grip on your hair, choosing to pinch your nose with her fingers while you’re still impaled on her dick.

her orgasm passes and you can’t breathe, struggling to catch your breath, your throat tightens up around her even more, causing more semen to dribble from her leaky dick.

˚ʚ yang jungwon ɞ˚

❤︎₊ ⊹ jungwon’s cock is definitely on the thicker side, and when he cums he fills you up completely, white ropes of semen clinging to your walls and painting them white, even flooding your womb with just one load. i don’t know why but i have a feeling that jungwon is a fucking sadistic bastard, he gets off on your humiliation and tears, hiding his face in your neck and grinning like a maniac when you sob from the pain and shame.

you expect jungwon to try new things when he fucks you, it’s not a secret that he lives for the thrill of finding different disgusting kinks to try out but his favorite is fucking you full of piss when he’s finished dumping load after load inside of you,

he waits until you’re completely ditzy, a dopey smile on your face as he shallowly thrusts in and out of you before suddenly forcing himself deep, keeping a tight grip on your jaw to watch the fucked out look on your face turn into one of alarm while you thrash around beneath him, “jungwon! stop please,” you whine, voice cracking while you fight back tears, “it’s embarrassing! i hate it.”

despite your fussing he continues to use you like a urinal, and it makes you feel impossibly full, gagging and retching as his piss floods your insides and causes his cum to dribble out of your open mouth.

jungwon is sick and depraved, it’s no surprise your pathetic state makes his hips jerk, groaning deeply as your messy cunt squeezes him tighter.

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burntb4bydoll · 1 year

Note

Hiii it’s me again ~ Alright this here is very self indulgent <<33 My request of the day is: Could you write for Bill, could be 2023 Bill, before or both as a sort of evolution, with a lover that is also in the lgbtq+ community. I genuinely feel like having that acceptance around him, especially coming from a partner that’s also in the same boat would be so good for him. This goes without saying that queer x queer chaos is one of my favourite things to see 💅

Have a great day & take care <3 Thank you for feeding us so well lately oh myyy

THIS IS SO GOOOD AHH. I was literally just thinking about this. as a bisexual person myself, i know the struggles of not really relating to people around you and how invalidated people make you feel. queer x queer relationships of any sort make me so happy!!

2023 Bill Kaulitz with a queer s/o headcannons

•he would be so damn happy that theres finally someone who fully understands him

•because while his friends and family do support him and try to understand, they will never fully know what its like

•I really do think he would benefit from a queer partner

•both of you know that you will always have someone who understands and accepts you

•he would always come to talk to you if anyone ever made him feel invalidated and he makes sure that you know you can come to him too

•he would always post about how far both of you have come in your self discovery journey and how proud he is of you

•if you’re anything like me, then you would get very protective of the people you love. So it anyone EVER said anything homophobic to either of you, Bill would have to physically hold you back so that you don’t get yourself in trouble

•if you didn’t have a supportive family then his family would gladly take you in with open arms

•they love you just as much as Bill does so you always have a safe space to go to

•Tom and Heidi are both of your guys biggest supporters

•yall are absolutely gonna be the wildest people at pride fests

•he would dress up in full glam and would love if you did too!

•Bill just has so much energy and such a big heart so hes got lots of love to spread

•his fans call you guys their parents

#bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #georg listing x reader #gustav schafer x reader #tokio hotel smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfic

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another-day · 3 months

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hey gang, guess what time it is, for the last time in season 3....

EPISODE IN REVIEW - THE SEASON THREE FINALE!!!!

spoilers for episode 19 of inanimate insanity invitational!!!!!!!!!!!

oh. my. gosh.

this was such a beautiful episode, most things felt resolved and it was just SO GOOD

if you didn't see my previous posts, i was up at 2am to watch this episode due to timezones, and it was so so worth it. let's begin!!!!!

oh the character development is amazing, this versus how lost he was at the beginning of season two is just so interesting and amazing to see. i'm so so proud.

full honesty, i have a lot of trouble emotion-wise, and hearing this kinda caught me off guard because, as much as i'd like to ignore it, springy's never been anything more than a villain to me.

it helped me realise that, yeah, springy is another character like everyone else, and they have feelings, and they have capacity for goodness. it really got me thinking, especially since this line really had me relating to them. but ah well, onwards!!!!

seeing cabby get pissed was really funny, but also she's turning the broken insult walkie talkie presented to mephone in the last episode. it was very very cool, a reclamation of power really.

can you tell i like cabby

also this was such a pivotal moment for her, and as someone who apologises for literally anything people deem wrong, this was incredibly inspirational and soooo cool to see.

the poor guy, he's been nothing but berated this whole episode

the way i literally almost screamed at two in the morning i was shivering and shaking throughout the entire episode and this was like my sould left my body HE'S BACK and oohhhhohohohoo GUYS GUYS GUYS

this was such a beautiful scene; a robot who sacrificed himself for a happy ending for so many others encouraging another robot whom was the living result of his sacrifice to embrace the life he has. THEY DRIVE ME MAD DO YOU SEE?????????

NAME DROP!!!! also i think this is the first time he's acknowledged cobs in reference to his own actions, he's coming to terms with his memories and experiences, and realising he can learn from them GOODNESS do you see what i am saying BOTH THIS AND MEPHONE 4S's SPEECH ARE ENCOURAGING HIM TO LOOK PAST HIS MISTAKES, AND NOT DWELL ON THE PAST

does this mean mephone's finally gonna treat toilet like an actual person, WHO FREAKING KNOWS!!!!! but i really hope he does i really do

guuuuyyyyss stop i'm going to cryyyyy LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE MESSED UP MARRIAGE PLEASEEEEE

i had to squeal so quietly when i saw this BUT YAAAAY MY LOVELY LITTLE CABBY WON!!!!!!! i was so happy she absolutely deserved this and its so symbolic that test tube's vote ended up being the deciding factor and AGH i'm so happy!!!!!

SHE'S SO CUTE SHE'S LITERALLY THE BEST I LOVE HER DEARLY

they're so silly and so supportive of one another, and the fact that even with balloon considering himself a more self assured person and more independent, nickel's still willing to stick by his side to cheer him up!!!

guys them look at them

"Or of..." HER OR OF HER FREAKING OUT GUYS this guy's so silly and i'm so glad they're getting along again <3333

marriage

their sweet little family i love them dearly

communication is key !! this was very cute and i'm so glad they're getting along again

THE TEETH DETAIL they're literally spoiling me dude

GUYS THEY MADE YURI REAL i love them so so so so much

because of course she'd put her prize towards a knowledge bank for everyone, cabby's such a gem you guys i love her so much

i'm so glad they're getting along now, they're such a silly pair!!!

i literally almost cried when i saw this, mephone 4's reconstructing all these things that made him feel like he was useless to push himself forward, and its so beautiful to see, i'm probably gonna print this out and put it on my wall because its so meaningful and just UGH

the heroic pose, the self assured smile, ready for anything

this was a beautiful way to cap off the season because there he goes !! its so exciting!!!!

he's gonna need it girl lets hope the season 2 finalists didn't go insane

WAAAAAAAAAAH they used the the track "don't leave me until i find my way back to you" and the way i almost sobbed my little heart out that was such a beautiful homage and track and GOODNESS!!!!!!

overall this was a great episode. though i feel some dynamics, such as mephone 4 with 4s, and silver spoon with candle weren;t explored nearly as much as i would've liked, they crew really did an amazing job on this episode.

thank you so much for all your hard work inanimate insanity crew, and i'm so excited to see the rest of season two and how it'll play out!!!

till then, i'll see you next time ooooonnn episode in review!!!!

(bada bada duuuuum!!!)

#inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity invitational #iii ep 19 #iii 19 #iii spoilers #iii 19 spoilers

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batsarebetterthanpeople · 2 years

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one of my pet peeves for modern aus is the ones where they make izzy ed's best friend or longtime friend because if ed's gonna have one... its jack. it's literally supported by canon. like put izzy and jack next to the revenge crew and your answer for who fits in better is jack, whose only crimes in the show were trying to pull ed away from stede and committing seagull murder (all of which to save ed in a plan IZZY made) im so salty about all the hate jack gets in fics

Oh for sure. My least favoriate thing ever is when people put Izzy in another character's position. Jack is Ed's buddy at the very least. Izzy is just a coworker. Jack is who Ed would choose to hang out with 100% of the time if his options are Jack or Izzy. Also if you're gonna give Ed a best friend who is antagonistic to his new boyfriend, Stede and Jack being mean to each other is so much more fun in my personal opinion because Stede is mean to Izzy and Izzy's head explodes and steam starts coming out of his ears like he's in a cartoon and he yells something incoherent, where as Jack and Stede can have a bitchy little back and fourth that leaves Jack crying for sympathy and Stede's self esteem buried six feet under. It truly is the dynamic ever.

I don't usually have a problem with Jack hate in fics actually because jack is hateable and there often needs to be a villain, and in Our Flag so far the roster of villains has been Izzy, Jack, and the interchangeable badminton twins. Maybe the rich french fuckers but I don't want to give them that much credit tbh. so you know he's one of three and a half bad guys so I get it. However! there is one trope that frustrates me, and I think the main reason that it frustrates me is because its a trope that I hate with all of my guts and is pernicious in the calicobeard tag and that is the idea that Ed and Jack's relationship was non-consentual. There are tons of reasons to hate him, you don't have to turn him into a rapist. That's my pet peeve and my line. Otherwise yeah he's a villain, good. I like it when he causes problems. It's my favorite thing.

That being said I do think he's the most easily rehabilitated villain out of every villain in ofmd (I'm only counting Nigel, Chauncey, Izzy, and Jack as villains.) Simply because he's a pirate that we frankly don't actually know that much about. We don't even know why he's doing this. Yeah Izzy probably slid him a slice of that sweet sweet navy money under the table, but for all we know Izzy had that meeting with Jackie and Chauncey, found Jack afterwards and went "Hey man, so me and Blackbeard are on the outs right now and he's got this new boyfriend who is being super hunted by the British navy, the boyfriend is a rich guy and I know how much you hate those. But anyway Blackbeard doesn't know that Stede is being hunted and I just told them where they can find them so somebody should probably go get Blackbeard out of there and it shouldn't be me, because he's mad at me right now." and Jack said "Oh my god, you made a deal with the british navy? I'm gonna love watching Blackbeard kick your ass when I bring him back here. I'm going to now go do some insane shit to save his life again. Yeah sure I'll make sure the boyfriend dies just so that Beardy doesn't run back and get his ass killed, but only if you slide me a few dubbies for my troubles." It's also possible that he's full chaotic evil joker mode and when Izzy told him the plan he went "Yeah alright, haven't seen Beardy in a while could be funny." We simply do not know. Is he destitute because he's been mutinied three times and he needs the money? Has he never been mutinied in his entire life and he's minted because he's Calico fucking Jack and he's just here for shits and giggles? I tend to go with the "he cares about Ed" reading because I want to fuck him, but it's up to you. His backstory is wide open baby. What we do know Ed likes him a lot actually, Ed cares about him and Stede getting along. We know he saved Ed's life, even if he does hold it over his head because he's a shit head(although how often he does that is also a question mark, there's so much blank space to work with with him, he can be anything you want him to be other than nice).

And you know what, until the thing with Karl the crew liked him too. The crew never liked Izzy, whatever Jack's got going on is way more compatible with the crew than Izzy, and yet I see all these fics and headcanons where the idea that Izzy will stick around after all of this is over is just taken for granted. But they could easily forgive Jack if he sucked Ed's dick, moonbathed with Buttons, and slid Olivia some birdseed because he's funny and cool and Ed's buddy. Where as Izzy can never ever be trusted in a million years, he was never fun to be around, and no one likes him. (I'm sure Jack and Ed have fucked each other over before, they're messy bitches.)

Now I don't think Jack's getting rehabilitated in cannon, in fact we're probably never gonna see him again. I'm hoping for a flashback but I won't hold my breath. It's part of why I'm writing I'm Not Going Anywhere. Because somebody needs to put this man through the st*ddyhands treatment and it's not gonna happen in the show, so it is the realm of fanfiction and no one else is doing it. Jack was fucking built for an enemies to lovers because he's the kind of man who stands too close to his romantic rival at the urinals to prove his dick is bigger. Enemies to lovers is incredibly fun to do with Jack and Izzy because Izzy is eminently bullyable and also the kind of guy belongs in one of those "don't bully me I'll cum" shirts, but it can also be fun to do with Stede "pissboots" Bonnet. I'm not sure if INGA is going that direction I haven't decided yet, but someone should do it post haste I'm so serious.

I don't necessarily want everyone to see him how I see him. I'm fine with being his only apologist. back in april the universe decided he'd gone long enough being the most hated character and decided he needed one apologist and it spun the wheel of OFMD fans and it landed on me and I became the public defender appointed to him. I am over worked and underpaid and he is a terrible client. I have made him take a plea deal on the Karl murder charge.

This has gotten unhinged thank you for letting me chew on Calico jack for like 25 minutes.

#Calico Jack apologia #ofmd #our flag means death #calico jack #calico jack ofmd #izzy hands #izzy critical #this post isn't actually izzy critical i just don't want fights in my notes for days to come

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dankusner · 2 months

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The Hunt for John Wilkes Booth Goes On

If Abraham Lincoln had leaned back in his rocking chair that night at Ford’s Theatre and turned around—hearing a footfall or a rustle, or glimpsing, out of the corner of his eye, a stage light glinting off the mouth of the derringer—he would have recognized his murderer.

Lincoln loved theatre; in his four years as President, he attended more than a hundred plays.

“This is act vee one eye,” he’d whisper to his little son Tad, reading out the Roman numerals on the playbill.

And he loved Ford’s: in December, 1863, he’d sat in its Presidential Box for two consecutive nights of “Henry IV”—“pause us till these rebels now afoot / Come underneath the yoke of government”—and that November, ten days before he delivered the Gettysburg Address, he’d seen John Wilkes Booth perform at Ford’s.

“From these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion,” Lincoln said at Gettysburg, “that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth,” little knowing that he was engraving his own Shakespearean epitaph.

John Wilkes Booth wasn’t the best actor in the Booth family: he was outshone by his father, Junius Brutus Booth, and by his brother Edwin.

But John Wilkes was the most beautiful of the Booths, the handsomest man in all America, it was said: lithe and feline, with dark Fauntleroy curls and a leading-man mustache.

“All you have is rage or self-pity,” Edwin tells John Wilkes, deriding his little brother’s hammy acting, in the lush and tense “Manhunt,” the new seven-episode series from Apple TV+.

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Booth, played by the smolderingly beautiful sleepy-eyed Irish actor Anthony Boyle, is dastardly and desperate.

“Tomorrow, I’m gonna be more famous than anyone in my family,” he announces on the night of the assassination. “I’m gonna be the most famous man in the whole world.”

In his diary, Booth wrote down his reason for killing the President: “Our country owed all her troubles to him, and God simply made me the instrument of his punishment.”

Boyle doesn’t utter that line, but he embodies it, lunatic and frantic, believing himself Brutus.

Billed as an adaptation of James L. Swanson’s best-selling 2006 book, “Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer,” the series involves a great many men riding horses, wielding guns, and gritting teeth: costume drama meets police procedural.

After shooting Lincoln in the back of the head on the night of April 14, 1865, Booth leaps from the Presidential Box onto the stage, breaking a leg.

He flees the theatre and mounts a horse, escaping to Maryland, and then the chase begins, led by Edwin Stanton (Tobias Menzies), the stalwart Secretary of War.

“Come here immediately and see if you can find the murderers of the President,” the real Stanton wrote in a telegram to L. C. Baker, the head of the National Detective Police, on April 15th.

In “Manhunt,” Baker is played by a miscast Patton Oswalt, who is saddled with some truly dreadful lines—“If you hear something, say something”—and seems more amused than shocked by an assassination that sent the nation into a cascade of mourning.

Oswalt’s Baker also doesn’t have that much to do, given that in the show it’s Stanton who not only coördinates the manhunt from the telegraph room at the War Department but also, on the spot, reënacts the crime, collects evidence, inspects footprints, follows clues, cracks codes, interrogates witnesses, and even, implausibly, joins the chase on horseback.

Edwin Stanton suffered from asthma and would soon die of it.

In a harrowing portrayal, Menzies’s clenched-jaw Stanton grimaces and winces and leans on a cane for support.

He is seized by bouts of coughing and wheezing.

More than once, he simply collapses, as if, before the curtain falls, he, too, will have to be carried off the stage, another American slain.

“John Wilkes Booth’s escape and disappearance unfolded as though scripted not by a master criminal but by a master dramatist,” Swanson wrote in “Manhunt.”

Swanson is the author of several other books about manhunts, including one about the hunt for Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederacy; one about the pursuit of Lee Harvey Oswald; and, most recently, a Y.A. book called “Chasing King’s Killer: The Hunt for Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Assassin.”

If you like manhunts, he’s your man.

But the public appetite for a well-told tale about the pursuit of Booth began even as it was happening.

The essentials of the drama can be traced not to any of Swanson’s books but to “The Life, Crime and Capture of John Wilkes Booth, with a Full Sketch of the Conspiracy of Which He Was the Leader, and the Pursuit, Trial and Execution of His Accomplices,” a seventy-nine-page thriller that was first sold in 1865, for twenty-five cents.

Its author was the talented investigative reporter George Alfred Townsend, who covered the case from Washington for the New York World.

The book is a compilation of the reports he filed in the weeks after Lincoln’s assassination, “fresh from the mouths of the actors,” and his own reconstruction of the events he reported, complete with floor plans and maps.

Townsend, not Swanson, is the master dramatist of Booth’s crime and escape.

Here’s Townsend writing of the moment Booth fired the shot: “A keen quick report and a puff of white smoke,—a close smell of powder and the rush of a dark, imperfectly outlined figure,—and the President’s head dropped upon his shoulders: the ball was in his brain.”

And of the moment Booth rode away: “His horse’s hoofs might almost have been heard amid the silence that for a few seconds dwelt in the interior of the theater. Then Mrs. Lincoln screamed.”

A War Department handbill headed “Appeal to the Colored People” announced, “The pistol from which he met his death, though held by Booth, was fired by the hands of treason and slavery.”

Lincoln’s assassination, as Townsend reported, was part of a wider plot to decapitate and incapacitate the federal government.

The night Lincoln was shot, another assassin tried to kill his Secretary of State, William Seward (he survived), and a third assassin had been directed to kill the Vice-President, Andrew Johnson (only to lose his nerve at the last minute).

Stanton heard first of the attack on Seward and went to his house.

He then raced to the boarding house across the street from Ford’s Theatre, to which Lincoln had been carried, and found the President dying.

Townsend wrote, “Secretary Stanton, just arrived from the bedside of Mr. Seward, asked . . . what was Mr. Lincoln’s condition. ‘I fear, Mr. Stanton, that there is no hope.’ ‘O, no, general; no, no;’ and the man, of all others, apparently strange to tears, sank down beside the bed, the hot, bitter evidences of an awful sorrow trickling through his fingers to the floor.”

Booth had earlier plotted to kidnap Lincoln and hold him hostage.

He considered Lincoln a tyrant who had imposed emancipation on a martyred South.

As he explained in a manifesto that he wrote in November, 1864, “This country was formed for the white, not for the black man.”

On April 11, 1865, two days after Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox, Booth was in the crowd when Lincoln gave a speech in which he expressed gratitude for Black men’s service in the Union Army and said that under the policy that would reconstruct the nation they would be rewarded for that service.

“That means nigger citizenship,” Booth muttered.

He appears to have only then decided to kill Lincoln, seemingly in the hope of reversing that policy.

One tragedy of the assassination is that in some measure Booth was successful.

The Apple series follows much of Townsend’s account, but with the storytelling jumbled.

It conveys both Booth’s plotting and Stanton’s relationship with Lincoln, in flashbacks as relentless as strobe lights.

Only the chase moves forward in time, a neat narrative solution to the problem of the inevitability of the story’s outcome: Booth would not live to stand trial.

Stanton’s investigation involved tracking not only Booth but also a half-dozen conspirators who had originally signed on to Booth’s plan, and who aided his escape.

“What if the Confederacy is behind the assassination?” an associate asks Stanton.

He replies, “I’d have to start another war.”

Many in Lincoln’s Administration in fact suspected that Jefferson Davis had conceived of and ordered the assassination, and believed that the only way to truly end the war would be to capture and convict him.

This did not come to pass.

In the show, a colleague of Stanton’s tells him, “The connection between John Wilkes Booth and Jefferson Davis—you don’t have it!”

Swanson’s book displays little interest in slavery, emancipation, and Reconstruction.

This is not true of the Apple adaptation.

In a sped-up time line, “Manhunt” hints at how, with Lincoln dead, Johnson fought the policy of Reconstruction proposed by Radical Republicans and endorsed by Stanton.

The show’s engagement with the origin and the course of Reconstruction is serious and informed, and—from a historical and political perspective—the most interesting and distinctive aspect of the project.

Surprisingly, the series gives real play, too, to the theory that Johnson, not Davis, was behind the plot.

“Don’t wish to disturb you,” Booth wrote to Johnson on April 14th.

“Are you at home?”

Was this to figure out where the assigned assassin would find Johnson that night?

Or was Johnson involved in or even the head of the conspiracy?

Very likely he was not; nor was Davis.

But, in “Manhunt,” Johnson (Glenn Morshower), seen here unravelling every effort at securing equal rights for freed Blacks, is wonderfully despicable—it’s easy to believe the worst of him.

If much of the storytelling in “Manhunt” dates to 1865, later generations of Americans were told very different versions of what happened.

On the early morning of April 15th, Booth and his guide, David Herold, made their way in the direction of Bryantown, in Charles County, Maryland, and to the home of a doctor named Samuel Mudd, who cut off Booth’s boot, set his broken leg, and applied a splint. Stanton pursued him as a conspirator.

The Mudds were part of one of the largest slaveowning families in the county, and Samuel Mudd was, in fact, a Confederate agent.

Mudd insisted he did not know that his patient was Booth, and did not know that Lincoln had been killed.

Mudd’s suffering is the subject of John Ford’s 1936 film “The Prisoner of Shark Island,” enthusiastically received by one of his daughters for offering “complete vindication” of her father.

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This Mudd, played by Warner Baxter, is a simple country doctor—“one of the most unselfish and courageous men in American history,” according to a title card at the beginning of the film—who merely helps a man in need.

When he and the other suspected conspirators are put on trial, the courthouse is surrounded by a Union mob screaming, “Burn the traitors! Burn them!”

Mudd’s former slaves—he calls them “my hands”—include Aunt Rosabelle, a mother of twelve and a source of comic relief, who is played by Etta McDaniel, the sister of Hattie McDaniel, who three years later would become the first Black woman to win an Oscar, for her portrayal of Mammy in “Gone with the Wind.”

During the Civil War, the sisters’ father had fought in the Union Army: he was one of the men to whom Lincoln promised citizenship in the speech that so riled up Booth.

(The father was denied a pension, and the family lived in poverty; Hattie and Etta’s mother worked in white homes as a domestic, as did the McDaniel sisters, even after their débuts in show business.)

“The Prisoner of Shark Island” is not interested in the testimony of Mudd’s former slaves at his military trial, but Mudd’s defenders sought to destroy their credibility to establish that Mudd had always been a kindly master and had nothing to do with the Confederacy.

Such was the fiction of the Lost Cause. “Manhunt” crafts a different fiction: call it the Found Cause.

In “Manhunt,” Mudd, played by Matt Walsh (best known for his role in “Veep,” as the beleaguered Mike McLintock), is a sadistic Confederate agent who lives with his young housekeeper and former slave, Mary Simms, played by Lovie Simone, in an arresting performance that captures the struggle between terror and resolve.

“I’m going to be part of a community,” Simone’s Simms tells Mudd, defying him. “I’m going to be somebody.”

Mary Simms is not mentioned in Swanson’s book.

Nor are any of the other people formerly owned by Mudd who testified at his military trial, including Simms’s brothers, one of whom Mudd had shot in the leg.

(Five of the prosecution’s eleven witnesses were former slaves of Mudd’s.)

Simms’s testimony was particularly important in establishing that he carried Confederate mail.

Q. To whom did they bring letters?

A. To Dr. Sam. Mudd.

Q. Now state to the Court whether he would give them any letters to take back.

A. Yes: he gave them letters to take back, and clothes and socks.

But about Booth she could say very little, because, notwithstanding the story told in “Manhunt,” she was not at Mudd’s house when Booth rode up with a broken leg early on April 15, 1865.

The brother of hers who had been shot in the leg had run away in 1863, and Simms herself had fled in 1864, after Maryland abolished slavery

.A. I left him just about a month before Christmas. I was free then: he whipped me, and I ran away.

Q. You left Dr. Mudd’s house because he whipped you?

A. Yes, sir.

In the series, Simms and her brother choose, inexplicably, to return to Mudd’s house in 1865 and Simms is in the house when Booth arrives; she hides his boot and later directs Stanton to its hiding place.

Her testimony, elicited by Stanton, is crucial not so much to Mudd’s conviction as to the series’ interest in both racial justice and a happy ending.

We’re also led to believe that Simms—having met with Elizabeth Keckley, a Black writer and seamstress who served as a dressmaker for Mary Todd Lincoln, and having opened a school for Black children—has a grand future ahead of her.

In the series’ epilogue, we see her wearing a precisely fitted new calico dress, carrying a stack of books, and chatting with other Black students as she arrives at the library of the newly founded Howard University: a door of learning opened.

The facts are less comforting.

Mudd, having narrowly avoided hanging, was sentenced to hard labor for life in a prison on an island off the coast of Florida, but in February, 1869, in a ceremony at the White House attended by Mudd’s wife, Andrew Johnson signed his pardon.

(This coda is not mentioned in “Manhunt.”)

Mudd went home, resumed his practice, and ran for office.

He had nine children and thirty-three grandchildren.

His house is now a museum.

Mary Simms appears in the 1900 U.S. census as a widowed, sixty-year-old mother of two, living in Bryantown, in another family’s house, and working as a cook, and is listed as unable to either read or write.

Pray that she was happy, and part of a community, and somebody, surely somebody, to everyone who loved her.

But she did not attend Howard University.

You get, onscreen, the civil war you’re living.

“What if Booth weakened our democracy?” a reporter asks Stanton in the first episode of “Manhunt” (filmed in 2022).

Lest you miss any of the clues pointing to the crime of our time, the insurrection at hand, we see a nefarious villain—famous and cosseted, one of the richest men in New York—boasting, as he points a gun at Stanton, “I could fire this on Wall Street in broad daylight and nothing would happen to me.”

Stanton, however determined to capture Booth, is as hobbled as his prey.

In “Manhunt,” the War Between the States is a war between two crippled, broken men.

“Manhunt” is “The Prisoner of Shark Island” upside down: the Confederates have become the villains.

Much else remains the same.

The killer is a man with a gun.

The law is a man on a horse.

They stagger after each other, armed to the teeth: the least frail man wins.

You also get whatever civil war, or whatever history, that Hollywood is willing to pay for, which, as a rule, involves men, horses, and guns.

George Saunders’s luminous novel “Lincoln in the Bardo,” about the President’s grief at the death of his young son Willie, in 1862, became an eerie, three-hundred-and-sixty-degree New York Times virtual-reality short in 2017, and feature-film rights were soon sold, but there’s still no movie (although an opera is in the works).

Nor has there been a film of Geraldine Brooks’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 2005 Civil War novel, “March,” an exquisitely unsettling upending of “Little Women.”

And there doesn’t appear to be any upcoming adaptation of Karen Joy Fowler’s 2022 novel, “Booth,” long-listed for the Booker Prize, a book that is to Swanson’s “Manhunt” what “Little Dorrit” is to an episode of “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”

Fowler’s searching family saga begins with Richard Booth, “skinny as a stork,” a former lawyer and an admirer of the English radical John Wilkes.

While living on his family’s halfhearted farm in Maryland (“the people who live there call it the farm, though it’s half trees”), crafting a new translation of the Aeneid which he will never finish, and helping fugitive slaves escape to Philadelphia, he is given the honor of naming the baby who will become his most famous grandson.

Richard Booth’s son, Junius, has left his wife and son in England and fled to America with a woman named Mary Ann Holmes.

She is left on the farm to raise the children for nine months of the year while her husband tours the country, performing onstage, between bouts of insanity that the family calls his “mad freaks,” though they also involve suicide attempts, first by hanging, then by drowning.

As for Mary, Fowler writes that, by 1838, the year John Wilkes is born, for “seventeen years, almost without break, she’s been either expecting a baby or nursing one. It will be twenty continuous years before she’s done.”

There was a hole in the middle of the Booth family, something like the phantom limb that lingers after an amputation.

“Frederick was the first to die,” just one year old, Fowler writes. Then Mary Ann, and baby Elizabeth, and Henry Byron. The sorrow found no bottom.

“Let me die,” their mother prayed.

Their father put stones in his shoes and walked mile after mile after mile, in penance for whatever sins had led to such losses.

This was no civil war.

Fowler writes, “This grief was a war against the world.”

John Wilkes Booth was born into this war and never escaped it.

But none of this family drama finds a place in “Manhunt,” whose domestic concerns lie chiefly with the First Family.

Lili Taylor gives a riveting performance as Mary Todd Lincoln, herself driven all but mad by the deaths of Willie and another son, Eddie, in 1850, at age three.

“All mothers are my sisters,” she tells her husband, in a kind of Victorian-style version of America Ferrera’s monologue in “Barbie.”

She’s there to speak for every mother who has lost a child, but only because there are few other women or children in the show’s world.

(Even Mudd’s wife and children have been erased.)

Hamish Linklater, as Lincoln, is oddly tremulous, and everything about his life as a father is better rendered in Fowler’s novel: “Nighttime finds Tad sleeping, curled up like a cat, beneath his father’s desk, his head on his father’s shoes.”

In period drama after period drama, Hollywood producers appear to pride themselves on the exact reproduction of everything from candlesticks to carriages, but they do not seem capable of imagining the lives of women and girls before birth control, safe childbirth, and ready abortion.

In Hollywood’s version of American history, as in the imagination of the current Supreme Court majority, every man owns a gun and no woman is ever pregnant.

Most nineteenth-century American women, whatever their race or wealth or state of servitude, were pregnant or nursing for decades.

You hardly ever see them onscreen: no swollen bellies, no leaking breasts, no babies in arms, no toddlers clinging to legs, no lullabies, no “little stone lozenges” like the gravestones that mark the burials of Pip’s five infant brothers in “Great Expectations.”

“Manhunt” tries hard to get Reconstruction right; it gets the warp and woof of daily life quite wrong.

“I did not want to write a book about John Wilkes,” Fowler has said. “This is a man who craved attention and has gotten too much of it.”

She decided to write “Booth” during yet another series of mass shootings in the United States.

She wanted to write about the rest of the Booths, the family that nursed the assassin, the family left behind: his brothers Edwin and Junius and his sisters Rosalie and Asia—Asia, who loved John Wilkes the most.

Asia Booth Clarke, three years older than John Wilkes, married an actor and gave birth to nine children, seven in ten years—her “little trotters,” she called them.

After her brother murdered the President, she moved to England; all three children she bore there died.

“It is dreadful to have no babies,” she once wrote.

On April 15, 1865, she learned of the assassination when, in bed, pregnant with twins, she read about it in the morning newspaper.

Eleven days later, when Booth was killed in Virginia, a theatre manager came to tell her the news.

“Is it over?”

“Yes, madam.”

“Taken?”

“Yes.”

“Dead?”

“Yes, madam.”

The twins were born that summer.

One, a girl, died the next year.

Fowler writes, “They do not name the boy for John.”

This is act vee one eye.

Long before Lincoln became President, “Macbeth” had been his favorite play.

As a young lawyer, he carried a copy of it in his pocket.

John Wilkes Booth had often played the title role.

“After life’s fitful fever he sleeps well,” Lincoln had said, days before his death, reading a speech from the play.

“After being hunted like a dog . . . I am here in despair,” Booth wrote in his last diary entry.

“And why? For doing what Brutus was honored for.”

Booth, the overactor who knew only rage and self-pity, was best known for his performance as Richard III, scheming, enraged, crippled, doomed.

A horse! A horse!

He performed it, as was standard on the nineteenth-century stage, using a loose seventeenth-century adaptation that cribbed from other Shakespeare plays.

“All quiet—after Richard twice tries to rise and cannot,” he once scrawled on a blank page in his prompt book, across from Richard’s dying lines (borrowed from “Henry IV”): “Now let the world no longer be a stage / To feed contention in a lingering act . . . On bloody actions, the rude scene may end, / And darkness be the burier of the dead!”

Long after Lincoln’s death, as one tale has it, Edwin Booth opened his brother’s trunk and found inside theatrical costumes that had belonged to John Wilkes and their father, many stitched by his mother.

He tugged them out and burned them: Iago’s ruffed tunic, Mark Antony’s flowing toga, Richard’s long cloak, each by each, in the dead dark of an American night.

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cloudytaemin · 2 years

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Sugar (Act V)

Pairing: Taemin x Reader

Series Genre: Sugar Daddy AU, Smut, PWP, PWF

Series Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, Mental Illness, Depression, Alcohol, Sex, Daddy Kink, BDSM

Chapter Warnings: Pet Names, Kissing, Recollection of Traumatic Events, Depression, Alcohol

WC: 2.61k

A/N: This one is kind of angsty, but maybe it's sweet too :)

Taglist: @taerzannie @taem-min @badpvn @aquawol @nirvanawrites111

A soft hand rubs up and down your arm, stirring you awake. "Good morning, y/n," Taemin smiles down at you, standing above the bed.

It seems that he's been awake a while, clad in a suit and his bangs neatly swept to the sides of his face. "Morning, Daddy," you yawn. You purposefully act slightly seductive in hopes of getting him to not focus on last night. Who can think about your trouble when they're busy fucking you for their own pleasure? Exactly, nobody.

"Do you have work today?" You question, signaling to his suit that you took observation of a few moments earlier.

"Yes, my driver will pick you up in a bit to take you home," he purses his lips. "I was hoping that I could stay home with you today, but my schedule calls for otherwise."

Part of you was glad, you could get back to your dorm and work on a few essays.

Just like Taemin said, one of his drivers were there to pick you up and help you get home.

Once you arrive in your single dorm, you slump into your desk chair and open your computer. What greets your eyes isn't foreign, but you'd forgotten you'd even done it. Taemin's instagram glows on your screen, elegant yet full of parties at the same time.

Forgetting your assignments, you begin to scroll down it again just to find quite a few shirtless photos and even a few of him in the shower, none of them something Instagram would ban, but something that could definitely get you aroused.

Despite how caring and kind Taemin was to you at most moments, that kiss really put a spark in you. When your lips reconnected for the second time last night, fireworks went off in your brain and you felt the extreme need for more. Then wasn't the time, though.

You text Taemin despite knowing that he's at work. Tonight you would try to get something out of him, even if it risked the contract. You were longing to feel loved, the way that was safe and didn't result in immeasurable pain.

y/n: hey are we gonna meet tonight

T: I thought tomorrow was your day off.

Class wasn't until 2 pm that day. It could wait, one night couldn't hurt, could it?

y/n: yeah but its okay im not busy until the afternoon

T: I think you should look after your family member.

Fuck, you forgot you told him that lie. You could just say they died, right?

y/n: they passed away the other day, unfortunately :(

T: Don't you have a funeral to plan, then?

T: I think we should talk about this in person. Come meet me for lunch. Same cafe as usual, driver will be there in ten.

You're in deep shit. You can tell just by him asking to talk in person.

Taemin scowls as he reads through your short conversation again in the back of his car, he can't believe you lied to him. He isn't one for lies, they aren't to be taken lightly. After how he treated you, you can only do this in return?

Maybe you were just a selfish slut who manipulated him with your emotions, just like the last one did. Just like the one before that, and the one that came before that. None of them have real emotions, you all just want to use him. He had thought there might be something real, how fucking stupid of him.

You're all only there for sex, he should stop opening himself up and showing compassion. It's all a waste, he thinks.

The air is unbearably tense as you both arrive at the cafe and sit down. "Do you want to go first, or am I going to tell you what you've done wrong, like the worthless manipulative whore you are?"

It hurt, his words hurt. You may have lied, but you weren't a whore. You would never ever try to hurt him, especially since this was starting to be more than just a work deal. He was too supportive.

You decide to say nothing and continue to stare down at your lap, anxiousness building in your chest.

"What, are you going to sit there and try to cry?" He was angry beyond words, just spitting out anything that came to mind. Even if somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was true, every thought was incoherent as he'd been not only angered but even a bit disappointed.

"Fine. I guess I'm telling you then. Did you lie to me or not? Being indifferent about a family member's death and then trying to meet just recently after they passed? We've had four, today makes five days y/n. There's only two days left in our trial contract. I'm going to go ahead and guess that you lied, so now's your chance to confess." His face is cold as he drills his eyes into the top of your head, your eyes directed into your lap.

"I'm a college student. I'm just trying to save up so I don't have to pay college tuition for the rest of my life," you meet his eyes despite the tears brimming your own.

"I'm not a whore, and I'm not trying to fake any of these emotions. I'm a human being, just like anyone else, I may not have as much skill as those other women that you get to do this for you, but I'm sensitive. I have shit going on, okay? Fucking hell, I honestly don't even know if I can follow through on the last two days," you begin a mild rant, hurting at not only his words but how much this impacts you after the past few days and how much emotion they've had.

"I don't understand why you won't just fuck me and make me leave like all the rest and then flaunt me around, I don't get why this is somehow like a relationship and it's scary, I won't even lie. I just want you to use me so this arrangement can be done, I don't get why you won't just fuck me," you finish, tears now flowing from your eyes.

"You want to be fucked? Is that what you want? I was trying to be nice. I always try to," he growls, slamming his hand on the table. "But I suppose that was worthless, no? You want to show Daddy what you're worth? Then I'll let you. Let's go, y/n, and I'll show you what you really signed up for if the kindness isn't enough." Taemin stands and yanks you from your chair, storming out of the cafe with you in tow.

"I-I don't think you need to go this far, I-" you stumble over your words as he shoves you in the backseat.

"Fine then, if it's that bad, then say the word 'contract' when you get too far. I may be mean but I'm not a fucking rapist." He slams the door after he finishes his sentence and hops in the back seat shortly after next to you.

He kisses you roughly just a second after he tells the driver to go home, and somehow you decide that his lips on yours are exactly what you wanted and needed. Even if this wasn't the setting, you were unconsciously falling back into your routine of letting the men do whatever they wanted to you.

You think about the last time the two of you kissed and hesitate for just a moment. This was so different from before, that one was so delicate while this one is so hungry and angry. You quickly remind yourself to just go with it. This is what you wanted, right?

"y/n..." Kibum chuckles as he breathes against your neck. You stir softly before waking from your sleep, yawning a bit.

"Good morning, Bummie.." you yawn again.

Kibum begins to trail kisses up your neck before sticking his hand into your pants and immediately into your warmth. "Kibum..." you groan. "I'm sore, please..." you pout slightly, carving the look of the drywall into your brain for the thousandth time.

Kibum's face blocks the view of it just a few moments later, forcing his lips onto yours and thrusting his fingers in and out of you. You groan slightly and push him away, complaining again. "Bum, I really am sore."

He proceeds by beginning to pull your pants down and insert his rock hard cock into your hole, earning an upset but also pleased moan from you. He continued to kiss you roughly, whispering how good you obeyed him.

At the memory of Kibum you shatter internally slightly. You couldn't do this, it wasn't right, this wasn't like you or Kibum, it wasn't like any of the ones you'd had before. You couldn't keep denying that.

You feel the car come to a stop as you arrive at Taemin's parking garage, him forcefully pulling you out of the car and pulling you into the elevator to ride up to the floor he owns, well, his penthouse, floor, they're the same to you by now. He fumbles with his passcode and quickly opens the door, slamming you against it harshly.

His lips attach to yours again, no words being shared between the two of you as he explores every inch of you with his hands and tongue. His thigh presses between yours and you break away, panting. "I- I don't know if we should- I don't think.." you struggle to get words out of your mouth as the memory of Kibum echoes through your head, his harsh and forceful ways reflecting on Taemin right now.

"You're the one who asked." Taemin says curtly, lifting you up and hiking your legs around his thin waist before walking to the bedroom. He tosses you onto the bed and starts to pull off your shirt and bra, attaching his mouth to your nipple.

"You're my slut to do what I wish with, you're just a useless body for me to use for my own pleasure." Taemin looks into your eyes as he says it, their orbs dark and void of emotion.

"Mine, you're mine to do whatever I want with. Never forget that, you're mine and you serve only for me, y/n. Only me," Kibum pinches your nipples.

His words echo in your head as tears brim in your eyes while Taemin's hands travel all along your sides and breasts. "Please," you let out in a tearful gasp. "I can't, contract, contract, I can't. Please, I'll do anything..." you break down into sobs and watch as Taemin's face turns sour and he sits up, kneeling on the soft covers of his bed.

His mouth falls open slightly as if he had been wanting to say something, but all he does is place your shirt next to you and get up softly, walking out of the room and shutting the door with a soft click.

You take shaky breaths as tears flow from your cheeks. Maybe it was okay if he was someone else, but he was Taemin, he was Taemin... that was who he was and you didn't like him just because he gave you money anymore..

You hear shuffling around the house before the front door slams, shaking you just a bit as you continue to try and calm yourself down. Gone. He was gone. But why did he leave instead of kicking you out?

You stand quietly from the bed and pull on your shirt, your feet padding softly against the hardwood floor as you make your way to get out of the room. You turn the handle slowly as the darkness is flooded by moonlight through the crack you've made. You peek your head out and check that nobody is present before making your way to the guest room to try and sleep off your emotions.

You stare at the ceiling as you try to drift off, sleep eventually greeting your tired brain and eyes.

The sound of the front door slamming yet again awakens you. You roll over and pick up your phone, seeing the time was 4:53. The worst part about this penthouse was that the walls between the rooms were too thin, letting anyone hear anything and everything.

You listen as the door to Taemin's room clicks open. Little do you know his face is falling as he sees the empty bed and his mildly drunken state isn't helping. He sighs and flops onto the bed, tears welling in his eyes. "Fuck, why did you ruin me?" He talks to himself, slamming his right fist on the bed and groaning.

You shut your eyes and take a deep breath, listening as he begins to scream. "Why did you fucking use me? I thought I loved you, but now you've left me and I tried to fuck you out of anger, why did you use me? Why did you make it seem like you weren't only there to be my useless human accessory, why y/n? Fuck you.. fuck you..." Taemin breaks down into tears as he screams, pulling at his hair.

You hear remnants of yourself in his breakdown, tears welling in your own eyes at his emotion. He continues to question why he ever considered letting you in, showing you more than just the ATM side of him and even feeling something. "I can't believe you were only looking to save yourself like all of the others."

You can't bear to hear anymore after that, jumping out of bed and storming into his room. Tears stream as you shakily assert yourself, Taemin's terrified face questioning why you were even there still.

"You're here, what the fuck, what the fuck...!"

"Please, I can't- I'm... I didn't use you, I pushed myself away because I was so afraid of my feelings, I can't keep telling myself that I'm only here for your money because I'm not.. the memories of Kibum echo constantly and I can't keep getting money with those scars, and you... you..." you stop and take a deep breath. "You comforted me though them, you understood, you made me feel like it was okay to be broken... it wasn't just a game with you, I don't know what I'm saying but I swear to god I never used you and I never wanted you to use me and fuck me. Never, ever, I was just so confused as to why you cared instead of disregarding everything that was wrong with me." You pant as your tears continue to fall, out of breath from the exertion and mental pain.

Taemin blinks at you slowly, his face red and puffy from tears. His voice is hoarse and he stumbles over his words as he says them. "You really didn't use me?" He runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his eyes and sighs, thinking about this. Could he really trust this again? You lied so many times... but you also showed him so many raw emotions...

"I never did, really, I'm so sorry..." you wipe your eyes as they keep fogging up, sniffles becoming uncontrollable.

He opens his arms and waves his hands for you to come into his arms. You purse your lips and pout strongly before falling into his embrace. He wraps them around you tightly and pets your head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispers, pulling his covers up over the both of you.

He rubs his hands up and down your back as he encourages you to go to sleep so the both of you can talk tomorrow.

#taemin fanfic #taemin x reader #taemin smut #taemin scenarios #taemin imagine #taemin scenario #shinee smut #kpop fanfic #shinee x reader #shinee scenarios #shinee fanfic

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himawariness · 1 year

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Case File: Poe - Devlog 1: Planning, Concept, and Art Style!

I posted my first devlog for Case File: Poe on my site, but I’ll post it here too! It's about the art planning and concept progress so far :)

It's a little long but keep reading below to read more!

Whenever I come up with an idea for a new game or comic, I usually always like to start with the characters first. However, for Case File: Poe, the premise came to me first while I was working on my previous game, Dolchio. With the rough plot in mind, I sketched out some character designs and realized that I didn’t like them or feel attached to them at all lol.

So I thought I'd use some old character designs and find a way to stick them into this new game! So that’s how three of the four main cast members were added to the game (Poe, Rokio, and Morg). With the characters decided, I could move on to writing and conceptualizing how the game would look and play; Without the characters and loose plot, it’s really difficult for me to write or do anything else.

Now that the characters are out of the way, it’s time to write! Which I’m gonna talk about in another devlog because writing this story is my poor little brain work harder than it ever has in years…!! I thought Hansel had a complicated story, but this one is a whole different beast and I’m honestly having some trouble staying organized. But I’m hoping it’ll pay off in the end! No worries though, I’d say the writing is about 70% complete as of posting this devlog, and I started back in February 2022! :] Here’s a blurry image of one of the many several writing/outlining/planning pages I’ve done hehe (blurred for no spoilers!)

Moving on, now I could start drawing. I don’t like drawing until I have a good chunk of the writing done because I don’t want to have wasted some time drawing something and then end up scrapping it if I decide to change the game around later. I originally had planned for Case File: Poe to be a top-down RPG, like Hansel or other standard RPG make games. So I drew a few character sprites for the game and played around with different styles. But I wanted the game window size to be larger, and forcing full screen on the game would make it look weird if I used small pixel art. So I tried making bigger sprites, or even upscaling them. Long story short, I had to scrap the RPG style and go for something else.

I knew that because of the nature of the game, a strict sidescroller like the style of Dolchio wouldn’t work the best because I want the player to be able to explore the map. While the sidescrolling style would allow for some exploration, it was more suited for Dolchio’s linear storytelling where exploration wasn’t as integral to beating the game. That’s not the case for this game, as it is about a mystery. Exploring and gathering evidence is the most important part! So I had to go all the way back to the drawing board and play some other games to find some inspiration. And so I did find some gameplay inspiration from games such as Ace Attorney, Professor Layton, Shin Megami Tensei, Danganronpa, Your Turn to Die, Virtue’s Last Reward, and 13 Sentinels.

With RPG Maker MV’s clicking/Mouse support, I figured out what I had to do! Like a clicking adventure game, I was going to have to make a game where the player can explore the whole environment by directly interacting with it and its characters. With that in mind, I started creating concept art and sketching out some of the art for the game!

So with plot, gameplay ideas, characters, and concepts are out of the way for now, I could move on to thinking about the general art aesthetic that I’d like: I want Case File: Poe to look good. Like, really REALLY good and I’m afraid that my art skills aren’t at that level yet. I don’t it to look or feel like an RPG maker game. So why not just use another game engine?? I’ve made some stuff using Game Maker Studio and I’m confident with it and I could use that but… I like using RPG maker!! It’s fun hehe >:]

Regarding the art, it just means that I have to practice some more and actually take my time on it. Seriously, I usually don’t have the patience to take my time drawing and so I like to rush and finish all my pieces under an hour. It’s a bad habit, I know!! Which is why I’m forcing myself to sit down and not rush through the art, and to make myself polish the artwork as much as I can! And so, yesterday I completed a cutscene CG test where I took all of the time I needed to get an idea of how much time I would need to set aside for the art of the game. This CG took me a little over 3 hours instead.

And I’m definitely happy with the way it came out!! Yes! The game is coming together in my head! Next, I have to figure out the interface, world map, other graphic design stuff but I’ll leave those for later. My priority now is to finish writing the game and start the script. After that, I can go ham on the art and theeennnn start the programming!

I know this was a long read, but thanks for reading through it! Hopefully I can get these devlogs up regularly that way I can make myself consistently work on the game. :]

#rpgmaker #rpgmaker dev #gamedev #game development #indie game #RPG Maker MV #case file: poe #case file: poe (game)#devlog #update #art

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leavingautumn13 · 1 year

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💥👪🥞🍁🌏🎭⚙️🌠💘for Nora

Thank you so much for the ask! For sole survivor Nora Navarre:

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Before the vault, guilt and self loathing are her biggest struggles. After the vault, it's anger all the way down. Not that guilt and self loathing went anywhere, of course.

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Her father left when she was seven and she hasn't had contact with him since, and for a long time her relationship with her mother was strained, but polite. It's nonexistent by the time she moves to Boston. She still speaks with her maternal grandmother and aunt a few times a year over the phone--they often call with updates on her mother and youngest sister. She's the eldest of three sisters (the other two are named Grace and Gene). They were close as children, but Grace's death and Nora's decision to leave for Boston put a strain on her relationship with Genie.

She's happily married; her husband Dana is supportive, even if he doesn't or can't understand where she's coming from sometimes.

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

Black coffee and an omelet with mushrooms, green onions, and peppers. Bonus: comfort dinner is homemade tamales and unsweet iced tea. She doesn't have a sweet tooth.

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

Spring. Nora's from Arizona, and the rain and new growth of spring are enchanting to her.

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

Yes, definitely--her world, at least. It's not an easy decision, and something she may regret making, or go back and forth on. (I'm... gonna hold my full thoughts on this until I've got my fic published, because like, spoilers.)

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

Yes, definitely different depending on who's around/who she's speaking to. She's straight-faced around everyone, and has a dry, deadpan sense of humor. Friends and family see the humorous side much more than any stranger does; she typically doesn't make jokes unless she's comfortable with people (though for a real zinger, she'll make an exception. Sarcasm has its uses, after all).

She's definitely been described as a stick in the mud, or as having resting bitch face. The latter is not entirely inaccurate.

⚙️ GEAR - what are your ocs thoughts on science & art? which do they give more importance to? how much value do they place on each?

Her biggest hobby is gardening, which is science and art rolled into one. For Nora, they're two sides of the same coin, each as important as the other.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

Oh, easy. She wants to go back in time and do things differently, with the benefit of hindsight.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

She looks for honesty and affirmation. She needs to feel trusted by her partner, and able to trust in turn.

She doesn't believe in love at first sight, but she's a demiromantic ace, so she'll acknowledge it may be a thing for other people and not for her.

#oc: nora navarre #thank you so much for the ask!!#wow i wasn't expecting this many but this was so much fun!#sole survivor #fallout 4 #autumn.oc #oc: dana #he's mentioned i guess #navarre is actually her maiden name. she didn't change it when she married #breaking my no caps no punctuation bit for the sake of readability. nobody tell me i'm not using my degree for anything #autumn.fic #fic: until dawn #title is tentative bc i'm still running everything past my darling beta #my fic blog is new-eyes-extra-colors #empty for the same reason i can't pick a title but i'll be updating once i start posting chapters. should be by the summer...?#anyway fic will be over there bc it turned out kind of gore and body-horror heavy and i try to keep this blog sfw #anyway i will talk about nora ALL DAY i love her

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orowyrm · 2 years

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being wxposed to television after spending all my free time avoiding ads and pirating shit is always so jarring. 90% of the time i’ve spent “watching” this hgtv show my mom left on has been sitting thru commercials that are all desperately trying to market a sense of identity to me and tying it to their product. lose 10 pounds in one week with our weight loss program and take your life back!!! buy this car and become a more exciting person!!!!!! this huge regimen of dietary supplements is SOOO empowering. this premium perfume will make your life beautiful again! have we mentioned our revolutionary new weight loss program???? oh and don’t forget to buy [brand] at [store] so you can be #sustainable #mindful #healthcore or whatever the fuck. our big chain mega franchise retail store is so community and local business, don’t forget to support us on our journey 😇 did you know for every billion tons of pollution we create, amazon plants One(1) tree? hey girl, your skin shows signs of a life lived! that’s disgusting!!! here’s fifteen different creams and concealers to smooth out all that horrid, repulsive skin. fuck it, you and i both know that won’t do anything, but you’ll try it anyway. also have you considered botox? OH AND BY THE WAY - are you suffering constant aches and pains from the multiple jobs you have to work to stay afloat? we gotchu girl!!! this painkiller will help you #girlboss your way through all that easily avoidable agony and maximize your slay so you can come home after a long day at the back pain factory and cook and clean for your husband and care for your children, because you’re an Empowered Woman who can do it all! are you stressed? do you have constant migraines? babe, that’s gonna impact your productivity!!! here, this pill will suppress that chronic health issue just long enough for you to power through your work day and not long enough for you to stop and consider looking into why you’re so stressed once you get home. are you having trouble sleeping because of all the STRESS??? oh honey, don’t you worry, this medicine will knock you OUT the moment you step foot into your home. gotta be rested for all your full time shifts at your multiple jobs!!!! uh oh, all that back pain finally catching up to you? cant find a doctor? our healthcare system is a nightmare! help shouldn’t be so hard to access— luckily we have just the app for you!!!!!!!! don’t forget to buy that luxury car btw!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh, you’re having trouble managing your finances even after all the work you’ve been doing? bestie, we’ve BEEN THERE. this totally legitimate stock app is gonna CHANGE. THE. GAME. vote for this politician in the upcoming primary! no wait, that politician is evil. vote for THIS one! you didn’t forget about our new weight loss program, right? just checking. look at all these totally average healthy people— DISGUSTING!!! but look, they lost weight! now they’re beautiful and worthy of love again! don’t look at these pictures too long or you’ll realize the only difference is better fitting clothes and makeup. don’t you want to feel GOOD about yourself again? don’t you want to be HAPPY? aren’t you TIRED? shouldn’t you feel more FULFILLED with your life? buy our product! download our app! subscribe to our premium membership! shop at our store! eat this food! take these pills! still not happy? what’s wrong with you!!!! just keep buying!! money CAN buy happiness, because you’re a #bossbabe and you’re WORTH IT!!!

and then you finally make it through the hellish advertising psychological warfare gauntlet and you get to watch some annoying white couple buy a perfectly nice looking older house in a perfectly nice little neighborhood and totally strip it of all its unique and beautiful features to turn it into the worlds tackiest furniture store showroom with blank white surfaces everywhere and fake succulents glued into planters all over and one piece of wildly impractical ‘upcycled’ custom decor that cost them thousands of real life dollars to make and that you KNOW nobody’s ever gonna want or use and it’ll just rot in someone’s closet or maybe sell for 15 bucks at a garage sale and then they sell the poor mangled corpse of that house for 25x the value of every other house on the block to another annoying white couple and pat themselves on the back for ‘making this neighborhood more beautiful’ but that’s only on for like ten minutes before the next commercial break and then the cycle repeats

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starry-eyed-pkmnlvr · 8 months

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♬

“OOPH—” Starry falls backward, landing on the ground, hard. That’s gonna leave a bruise… The soft fur of a pokemon tickles her nose, and beady red eyes stare at her, full of excitement. “Oh, hello,” Starry says, reaching up to pet the pokemon’s head. It pushes its head into her hand, snuffling and purring happily. Starry giggles at the affectionate pokemon.

“Fennekin! Where’d you go? Please stop running off!!” an exasperated voice calls out. The pokemon spins around just as a young man wearing a lab coat walks into view, two more small pokemon in his arms. “Ah! There you are!” The young man notices the pokemon that had crashed into Starry, and walks over to scoop it up while apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry, she’s a bundle of energy, really. Did she tackle you? Are you hurt? Here, let me help you up!” He tries to pull the fennekin off of Starry, but it hooks its claws into their shirt and makes some pathetic-sounding squeaks of protest. The young man freezes with a face that looks like he’ll cry any second. The fennekin’s claws loosen their grip a little, and Starry can only assume it’s because of the same nervous pity they feel looking at the guy.

“It’s okay, I’m not hurt!” Starry strokes the fennekin’s head as he sits up, hoping to calm both human and pokemon.

“Oh, that’s good!! Phew, I was so worried she’d caused trouble again…” The young man visibly deflates, he seems a lot less anxious now. “Fennekin really seems to like you, huh?” he says, reaching out a finger to pet the pokemon’s nose, to which he earns a bite that doesn’t seem to phase him. He turns to Starry. “Would you mind coming with me to the research center I work at? I’ve been trying to keep these little rascals in check all day, and it seems fennekin’s finally decided to stop rampaging like the little tyrant she is.” The pokemon chirps indignantly at him, sounding offended.

“Sure,” Starry says. “This pokemon’s really soft. Fennekin, right?” The young man nods, offering Starry a hand to pull them up. “I’ll lead the way, then! Oh, be sure to support her back legs— yes, like that!”

[ … ]

While Starry settles herself onto a stool in the room the young man had taken her too, the fennekin adjusting herself on their lap, the young man pipes up.

“Ah! I forgot to introduce myself! I’m professor Sycamore, but Augustine is fine. I’m still in training for the moment, and the title of ‘professor’ still feels a bit strange. Right now I’m taking care of these three pokemon!” Augustine gestures to the fennekin on Starry’s lap as well as the two pokemon he was previously carrying, who were currently playing with a ball on the other side of the room.

“My name is Stavros, but usually people call me Starry.” They look around the room. So this is a pokemon research center. “How old would I have to be to work here? I’m eleven right now.” Augustine straightens up at the question, clearly preparing a long-winded answer.

“We take volunteers of thirteen years and older! And you can intern once you reach fifteen. But since you’ve got some years left before you can do any sort of work here, why not consider taking on some gyms? Battling is a great way to get to know both your and your opponents’ pokémon! But you’ll want to be paying special attention to each pokémon individually, as well as their bonds with both trainer and other pokémon, to gain as much knowledge as possible through experience,” he says, the words so neatly strung together Starry felt certain he was reading off some memorized script. “I first became an intern at sixteen, myself, and now I’m nineteen! Time sure flies, doesn’t it?” Starry nods, not sure what to say after all the information Augustine just dropped on their head.

“Wouldn’t I need a partner pokemon if I’m going to challenge a gym?” Starry asks. “That’s right,” Augustine replies. “How about fennekin there? She already seems rather fond of you!” The pokemon’s ear twitches at the mention of herself, but she stays dozing on Starry’s lap.

“Really? Aren’t you raising her?” Despite the question, Starry looks very excited at the thought of having fennekin as a partner pokemon. “That’s right, but I’m raising those three to be partners for young trainers! It’d actually be a big help if you could battle alongside her and tell me how she does,” Augustine says with a smile. “You don’t have to, though! It’s only a suggestion.” Starry gazes down at the fennekin in her lap, mumbling, “my partner…”

“I’d love to be her trainer,” Starry says, looking determined. Augustine’s smile widens and he nods. “That’s great!! I’ll go get you her pokéball… Got any name ideas for her?” he asks, beginning to rummage around in a drawer.

“Feni.” Starry says immediately as if on instinct. “It suits her.”

#ask upon a star #((for extra brownie points try and figure out the timeline of these memories))#memory ask #pkmn irl #pokeblogging #pokemon rp #long post #((forgot to add that my sycamore is presently 30))

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blondrichclosetwitch · 1 year

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Horse hospital February 1, 2017:

(This was an early early morning; I had been woken up with my stomach in pain, and when I asked what was happening, I was told that Blond attacked jakk. Horse is a spirit that my medium friend from cali had mentioned to me in October, but I don’t know that I ever actually spoke to an animal spirit. Though I see a lot of dogs and cats running around my apartment)

Was it a knife?

Are the spirits protecting him?

So is that why I had the dream about him texting me saying me telling me he was moving away?

But he’s gonna press charges against her now though, right? But the dream was him saying I’m in trouble.

I mean, fuck. I mean is this happening in real time?

Cause the good thing about it is we can now press charges…

It’s bad? Fuck…

I mean obviously I can’t tell anybody. _you know? We’ve done it so many times that people just think I’m fucking Looney Tunes.

I should have figured from that nine of swords. That he was really scared. He was living with a crazy person. So what can I do? I mean because I’m not supposed to be in communication with him, right?

(Visualizing) Jakk we are with you. You have all these women who love you. Am I supposed to do stuff like that? talk to him? and send him support? Work with an altar, and… Just keep doing what I’ve been doing. The altar is really pretty.

Oh poor boy. God. (Boiling hot water)

Is Stella with him? She was. She had been with him all night?

Did she tell him that everything will be OK?

(Tarot cards—-muffled, away from phone)

Deep sadness, unhappiness, heartbreak. Is this for jakk? Or is it both of us? It’s for Jakk. So is it because of… Carrying emotional wounds?

It’s because of the shit with Blond, right? Are there things I can do to help take out the poison

He’s not gonna turn to, is he gonna turn to alcohol?

Or drugs to heal?

Is it going to turn to alcohol? Is he gonna turn to drugs?

So I gotta talk to him.

Cause that’s what he’s been doing, right?

So what was my 2 of swords reversed…is that about my job?

So what jack needs is for us to help him get through this, and what he’s gonna need… Are we gonna be able to talk to him in the flesh soon? Now that this has happened. Does this mean I’m gonna be able to go back to Tantra? Because she’s in jail?

(Pause)

I mean I can’t tell but it looks like… If she’s in jail, then I’ll be less scared about sexwork. You know? Should we do cards? A small reading on it please?

Damn.

Is he OK? Poor thing.

Is he really in the hospital?

Did this happen? Horse. Did this happen? Cause you know I get tired, I can’t be woken up with my stomach in knots. You know? As much as I love this boy.

Like how many times do we have to do this? Do I look like I’m wide awake to you?

Psychic j 2/1/17

Who have I gotwith me? Horse? OK.

Let’s do… Teach me Tarot. So let’s make this… Wheel of fortune… Is this about jack?

Yeah.

“ The yellow colors suggest that they are mentally working very hard to assimilate this information. The creatures represent the four elements. The books they read contain knowledge not only about their element but also the other three. They all have absorbed much knowledge at this stage and will be analyzing its meaning and how it should be applied to life. However at this point of the journey, they would not yet be qualified or well-versed enough on each element to have full understanding or appreciation of that power, however they do understand that to be complete, to be hole or fulfilled, within and without they must find the correct balance and understanding not just of their own element, but of each others. Only then will true enlightenment come. These winged creatures appear once more in the final card of the major arcana, by then they are in full color. After completing their individual journeys with the successes and glories, trials and tribulations, ups and downs, gains and losses they will finally understand the lessons to be learned in each element.”

“When the wheel of Fortune appears in a spread upright it strongly points to a positive change in circumstances.

It is important not to get too cocky with yourself because remember pride cometh before a fall.”

“ and when the wheel makes its downward turn you may live to regret it.”

Are you saying he thought he was OK? He thought he was in the clear? Because he got the job? And then she attacked him. Is he going to lose the job?

Yes? (Concerned)he is?(sighs heavily)he’s going to lose the position at__________ because of this?

Pause

Oh my god.

Oh my god. I don’t want to hear this. I do not want to hear this. Oh my god.

(Getting upset)god. He’s gonna lose the position?

(Psychic Jakk had told me in the last few weeks that his old boss had called him to tell him that he was leaving his old restaurant , and that he should apply for the chef position; he was super excited about it, and to show that it was true, showed me an Instagram post with the place’s name on a piece of clothing of his. )

Oh my god!

Is he pressing charges against her?

Is she going into a hospital?

Oh my god: is there anyway that they will let him keep the position?

Oh my god. But this was EVERYTHING to him. He wanted this so badly.

No? He wanted it so badly. So that’s why she did this. To hurt him. To take it away.

Did she really do this?

Are you guys just playing with me?

WHY?

Look! Look! Did Blond attack him last night?

I can’t take this! You guys can’t do this to me.

I can’t take this anymore, you’ve got to stop.

“You or someone you know may be in serious emotional trouble.” Is it Jakk? “Brink of a breakdown.”

Does Jack know that he is communicating with me through the pendulum?

(Frustrated) Was Jack attacked by Blond last night?

Is he……what can I do? What can I do? You’ve gotta tell me what to do.

Ugh. I need Stella.

Stella, I need you. Stella. Stella. Stella, God, whomever! Someone needs to explain to me what to do.

(Voice cracking) someone’s gotta explain. (Cries)

They cant take this away from him. Stella.

Stella. Help; please help. Please help. Help me Jesus: I’m scared for him. And I’m not sure what im supposed to do.

And I want him to know that I’m supporting him.

Is he awake? Is he alone and Is he in the hospital?

He’s in the hospital. Is he alone. Can you get him for me?

….

(to psychic Jakk)

Hi babe. It’s me. I’m actually looking at a picture of you in a hospital bed. I hear you’re in a hospital bed. Is that true?

Rough night, huh? Can you hear me? Do you know how much I love you? You must be kind of groggy, I imagine.

I’m scared. Guess there’s a lot going on huh.

I just want this to be over. And it feels like it’s endless. And I feel like you’re about to crack. (His reaction is dramatic) yeah I know. I know! I know babe.

It’s showing up in the cards and… It’s too much. For anybody. We have to do some things to protect you, to protect your mind and your soul in your body right now. And I’m trying to figure that out. Because what you’ve been going through is insane. And I know that. And I wish there was something I could say. And I just don’t even have the words and I feel helpless.

I do, I wish I could protect you and I am… Angry that I can’t. I’m angry that this has gone on this long. And you have been made this raw because even though you’re a flawed being because we’re all flawed beings, you don’t deserve this any of this. And I’m worried about you, deeply. And I will do everything in my power to help you. But I have to talk to the spirits and I have to figure out what that takes, and we’re gonna have to work with some humans now, because you need some help.

You agree with me? I know that asking for help it’s not your forte. (Laughs for obvious reasons) but from what I’m getting from the cards….. you’re in serious emotional trouble and you can be on the brink of a breakdown and we need to protect you. That’s just one side of it on the other side, I just don’t even understand what happened you went home last night and she flipped out?

Did she attack you with a knife?

In the leg?

That’s what I keep getting. Did they have to do surgery? Have you talked to the police yet? Yes.

Have you pressed charges yet? Or you’ve made a report? A report.

And later on when you can you’ll have to go to the station I guess.

What made her do this? Was it because of the job? She didn’t….she just didn’t want you to have any success? You came home and you were happy. And she just lost it. Of course. Your first day. Did you say something because I was listening to the astrological report, and it said that saying the wrong thing could be a trigger. Did you say something that just made her go off?

What I’m getting is she said something about the baby and you said “you can throw the baby in my face as much as you want, I’m moving on with my life.”

Where is she right now? Is she at home? Look I don’t know exactly how you want to do this, but take a pen do you have a pen? Or your phone and take my therapists phone number and call her and get a referral for someone… Do you know? Because you’re gonna need some support. Ok? Cause I’m not even seeing her right now cause I don’t have any money but here’s her number:blah blah blah

She’s amazing and she’ll be able to send you the name of some good people. Someone who would probably be a good match for you.

And you’re just gonna need someone besides yourself, besides me, besides Stella, besides random, besides Lauren, to talk to. Really. And I I just can’t say it enough… If I could see her right now I would. Cause like you’ve been living with an abusive person for a long time, who’s been doing mind control on you.

And I’ll do what I can and I’ll ask the spirits to do what they can but you need to have other people involved. And if it’s too expensive, if she can’t find someone who takes your insurance or whatever, the other place you could call is callen lourde. Callen lourde‘s phone number is… Are you ready? They don’t have good counselors forget it. No just call my therapist and tell her that money is tight but she’ll help you figure it out. She’s amazing that way.

I guess it’s gonna be kind of hard for us to have sex when you’re in the hospital (laughs ) but It’s going to be OK. Blond’s out of her fucking mind, sorry.

The cards don’t look bad. You have a page of pentacles, that goals are being set and how they’ll be achieved. And that you don’t like to take a chance unless you’re pretty sure if it’s gonna work out.

I got a message earlier though, you need to stay away from alcohol and drugs to self medicate. Like you can’t go that route. Even though the shit with her is hard We’re gonna get through this babe.

But don’t go that route. You need to be healthy. You’re strong, your root is strong you’re one of a kind. That’s why you were nusch’s love. Remember who you are don’t let this fuck you up and you have a lot lot strong connection to the land. It’s gonna be OK.

And they’re going to heal you up quickly. And I’ll talk to the spirits and see if they can do anything about work. I know you’re worried about that.Try to think about it positively and maybe matt’ll step in..and be like “OK you guys jakk is amazing, Jakk can’t help that Blond went crazy”

Just try to think positively. This is an action that had to happen to get through this Blond stuff. And that you were taking one for the team laughing and roll your eyes at some of the dramatic things you had to deal with. Can you hear what I’m saying?

It’s so funny because I had a dream that you were texting me this morning, and saying you guys were moving away and never coming back… And we lived in Columbus Ohio, for some reason and I was trying to text you back and a chocolate bar so she wouldn’t notice that I was texting you? Like what do you mean you’re not coming back, you can’t leave, and I was really scared. I woke up and my stomach was in all this pain and I was like how can he leave me? He can’t leave me. And then the horse was like it’s Jack he’s been attacked and then my body got really sick and then I was like all right what happened is it for real this time? But it sounds like it was for real this time.

Is it for real this time? Well we’ll try to get them to work on healing that as quickly as they can. You’re so strong you got through it, were you scared? Yeah of course it would be scary.

Fuck man I’ve never had to have anyone face me with a knife. I’m sorry. You’re on the other side of it though. I look forward to hearing about it from your voice. I was just asking them if I would get to talk to you for real sometime soon.

I’m glad Stella was with you. You better take care of that head of yours OK? It’s gonna be all right, the worst is over. Do you believe that? You never have to go through that again. Check in with me whenever you want, you can just send a message..they’ll put a message in my stomach that will make it hurt… and I’ll know to check in with you. Or Stella‘s with me a lot. Or you can pick up the phone, you know if you feel like… You’re spinning kind of… What, what is that saying? Yes. Are you saying that about picking up the phone? Yeah I look forward to that, I look forward to hearing your voice. I miss talking to you. I do. I’ll talk to the spirits about the restaurant and see what I can do. Take breaths. I know that me and Stella and random and all of your spirit guides are here supporting you. Holding your hand. You’re not alone you have a huge family of us. Let her go.

The baby is with you right now. OK talk to you later. You are so brave.

OK. OK protective spirits first I’m gonna light some incense and then we need to have a powwow about what can be done. Stella, what I want you to do is I want you to gather all of the protective spirits. I want you to go get horse, archangel Michael, Jack’s mother, all of my relatives. I want you to act ask God to come, I want you to ask asa, I want you to ask the lion, random, anyone I’ve forgotten. And I’m gonna light up The incense.

(sounds of rustling around the house and preparing)

What do you think? (Lighting frankincense)

There we go. Do we like that spirits?

Word on the street… So jack is in the hospital?

(Sigh)

So the chariot reversed was about him having a nervous break down. Can I eat a little bit of breakfast?

(End tape)

Psychic Jakk encore 2/1/17

(Another sexual encounter, a little too detailed in its dialogue, that ends with a confirmation that he was at work in his office, which is where she would would claim to be most of the times we had psychic sex…though how he got back to work so fast after being stabbed in the leg is beyond me)

#watch the tapes

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lord-radish · 1 year

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Top 5 Media Experiences of 2022

???

DanganRonpa 1 and 2

Dar Williams

lord-radish

Note: this post will contain no spoilers for the DanganRonpa franchise, and readers are advised heavily to avoid posting spoilers in reblog or comment form.

Japan has some of the most fantastically convoluted, silly media franchises in the world. Gambit pile-ups a mile long, i-know-you-know-i-know chains, 4D chess. Look at Death Note. Look at Metal Gear Solid and Yakuza. Excellent franchises that rely on mystery and intrigue and conspiracy in the most concentrated way possible.

DanganRonpa is like if any of those franchises took a bunch of stimulants, bashed its face into a pile of glitter until it stuck and screamed until it was hoarse.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

DanganRonpa is a murder mystery game where a core cast of 15 students are forced into a killing game - if one of them can kill another student and get away with it, they get to leave the prison they're trapped in and the rest of the students get executed. If the other students catch the murderer, the culprit gets executed instead and the remaining students remain in the prison.

It should come as no surprise, then, that the casts of these game dwindle significantly the more you play. You have no idea if your best buddy in the whole game is about to get stuck with an ice pick - which makes for an incredibly tense and cruel gameplay experience. It's like Ace Attorney if the supporting cast was getting picked off by a murderer instead of you, as a defence lawyer, representing different unrelated clients.

I like these games, but they're hard to recommend. It's a very grim game despite the bright, stylised colors - lots of murder, lots of death. And you never know who's next. It can be very upsetting - it IS very upsetting.

I like how bold the games are - and bold is the only way to describe it. The characters are unabashedly broad stereotypes, like the Ultimate Delinquent or the Ultimate Chef. The colour palette, the gruesome crime scenes, the extended trials where you have to find the killer by arguing until you notice a contradiction are all very dense and full-on.

The games have few limits and taboos, and that is absolutely to its advantage for the most part, but the first game makes a really cheap and sensationalist twist in one of its cases that makes it incredibly hard to speak about the character it happens to. This franchise has significantly disappointed me as much as it's thrilled me.

A game like Metal Gear Solid will have somewhat grounded gameplay and dialogue in the immediate context of the objective you're undertaking, but when you hit a major story cutscene, you're gonna be subjected to long, detailed monologues about character motivations and the ever-deepening conspiracy at the heart of those tactical espionage action games. A game like Yakuza won't back down from the broader ridiculousness of the setting, but as high-octane as those games get, there's still a lot of grounded, fun downtime and serious character motivations.

DanganRonpa never stops. You wake up in a classroom, a robot teddy bear tells you to start murdering each other, and people start dying and their murderers get executed because you solved the mystery of how they killed the victim. The motivations are always The Most motivation you could ever have. The deaths don't hold back. The blood is neon pink, and anyone could die.

The reason this is on the list is because even if I had trouble connecting to other things, there's no way I couldn't connect with something as loud and confrontational as DanganRonpa. I played Pokemon Legends this year, and as much as I liked it, I was mostly just whelmed. I liked it. That's the extent of my feelings on it.

DanganRonpa gave me something to chew on. And while it has a rocky start, the second game is even better. I can't even describe how much of a leap forward DR2 is. It's a masterpiece.

It's absolutely a problematic fave, and I'm open to discussing it via message or through asks. But it really blew me away, and I felt like talking about it.

#top 5 #DanganRonpa #long post #murder cw #loss cw

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whiteqnn · 3 years

Text

PURE [5] - Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

A/N: It’s been a while.

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

PURE [5]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix’s voice sounded out when the man repeated the same question for what seemed like the third time since he joined the call. The number of players showed 7 of them, which meant that they were still missing three people. Sure, they could start the game now, but it would be way more enjoyable and funny with a full lobby.

“Yeah, Toast will be here any moment. “Sykkuno replied right away. “He just texted me; he should join us in a few.”

“Cool. Anyone else?”

“I think Corpse was also supposed to join us, right? Not sure though why he isn’t here yet.”

“Oh, yeah, Corpse will be here soon too!” Jack suddenly chimed in with an explanation. “He said he needed to take care of something first, but he’ll be here before we start.”

“Great. But that means we’re still one person short.” Felix hummed when Toast’s little astronaut appeared in the lobby “Hey Toast."

“Hey man.”

“Do you have anyone coming?”

“I’m afraid not. I asked MrBeast, but he’s busy, so...”

“Well then, we can just start when Corpse is here, and maybe we’ll find someone in the meantime?” Dave suggested, earning a few hums of approval from the other players.

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option...” Jack agreed. But then his voice blared out in everyone’s headphones with excitement. “Ha! Corpse is bringing someone!”

“Who?”

“I dunno, he just texted me he has one coming and that’s all.”

“Hm, all right. Let’s wait then.”

***

Corpse fidgeted with his phone, glancing between its screen and the chat in his stream. People were already asking countless questions, but rather than answering them, he was waiting for Y/N to call him. He was nervous - the girl still hadn’t commented on his request.

The idea to invite her to the lobby wasn’t spontaneous. In fact, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time now, but never found the courage to actually ask if she would like to join them for the game.

It’s been almost a month now since that memorable phone call. A month since Y/N last played with her friends; a month since she considerably reduced her social media usage.

Sure, she was still active on her youtube channel, but not as much as before the whole haters situation. No matter how hard she tried to just ignore them and simply continue her career, she just couldn’t. There were still these nagging thoughts at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those people and their comments, their messages. It seemed like a good idea to take a short break and sort everything out.

Her fans understood it. They were obviously sad that her videos weren’t as frequent as before, but everyone knew what the situation looked like and that Y/N needed some time for herself.

Her audience knew it, and so did her friends. Especially Corpse.

The man kept his word and talked to the girl whenever she wanted to. Which, in the end, was almost everyday. Although at the beginning their conversations mostly focused on her current problem and dealing with it, their topics broadened over the time.

At one point though, Y/N started worrying that maybe she’s annoying him with her so frequent calls. She thought that she shouldn’t bother him that much - even if talking to him was what really helped her cope with her problems. He already had enough on his plate, and sharing her own concerns with him suddenly seemed like a very selfish thing to do.

But she quickly realized how wrong she was for thinking like that. When one day she didn’t call, figuring out that she should stop troubling him with her own issues, she was very surprised when Corpse reached out to her himself. He expressed how worried he got when she didn’t call, and when she explained what was the reason, he spent the next fifteen minutes lecturing her that she should never think she’s bothering him.

From that day on, they talked every single day. And they talked about almost everything.

Corpse enjoyed their late night-talks more than anything. He liked to listen to Y/N talk about the things she finds exciting, her hobbies, and her dreams. Hell, she could talk about what she ate for breakfast, and he would still listen with interest.

And even though they haven’t seen each other in person, even though she still hasn’t seen his face, they managed to get really close during those past weeks. For an outside observer (who also didn’t have access to Twitter) they would seem like a couple of very good friends.

But not for Corpse.

He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly did it happen. They were talking one evening and Y/N was telling him about the TV series she had finished watching recently. He listened intently and watched as her facial expressions changed from excited to frustrated, as she was enumerating everything she liked and disliked about the series finale.

And then he suddenly got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and simply couldn’t take his eyes off her.

He tried to play it off and act as if nothing changed, but he couldn’t stop his heart from doing backflips whenever she laughed at one of his dumb jokes or called him partner. It was still a running joke between them and among the group of their friends, but there was something in the way she said it that made him instantly smile like an idiot.

He also started paying more attention to the hashtags on Twitter and Instagram. #PartnersInCrime was still rather popular, even though it was a month since anyone last used this phrase on stream. Corpse also found out that #Y/Nforthebride was trending for some time; he even managed to stumble across a few fanarts.

There was this urge to send them to Y/N, but he was too nervous that it would make things awkward between them... After all, he didn’t know how she felt about that whole shipping thing.

That’s why he decided to just leave things between them as they are, and be happy that he’s at least her friend.

Corpse nearly jumped out of his skin, when he was brought back to reality by the sound of an upcoming FaceTime call. Y/N’s photo appeared on his screen, her smiley face which he had assigned as her contact photo. His lips corners curled up in a smile almost unwittingly.

“Hey Y/N/N” he said after answering the call.

“Hi Corpse” she smiled softly upon hearing his voice. Although the screen on her side was dark, she didn’t mind not seeing Corpse’s face. She respected his wish to remain faceless and enjoyed their conversations anyway.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Just editing the new video. I guess I’ll upload it in the morning... but I’m not sure yet.”

“Well let me know then, I wanna be the first one to see it.”

“Sure thing, Corpse” she chuckled, lowering her gaze bashfully. Corpse just looked at her face for a moment, unable to stop smiling to himself. Then he remembered why they were talking in the first place.

“So... have you seen my text?” Y/N sighed at his question but nodded her head slowly. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t know, Corpse...” she ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “...if that’s a good idea, I mean.”

“Well, it’s been a while. No pressure though, if you don’t wanna play then it’s totally fine.” he quickly clarified. “I just thought it would be fun if you joined us, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone would go crazy.”

Her smile widened slightly at his words, but she still didn’t look convinced. Sure, it was tempting to join them. She wanted to do it each time Sean or Felix bombarded her with messages and codes to the lobby, both inviting her to join the group in the game. But then she remembered how people reacted to her appearance in their streams... and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

“We’re gonna play on Polus...” he added after a moment when she still didn’t say anything. “That one map with the planetary base... there’s a lava pit, y’know. Just saying...”

She laughed wholeheartedly at his words, remembering their last game when Corpse jumped into the lava for her.

“Sykkuno’s gonna be there as well” Corpse continued. “And I promise I won’t kill you this time.”

“Even if I’m the last player alive?” she joked.

“Even then, Y/N.”

Corpse stifled a laugh, as she cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to spot him in the darkness.

“Are you streaming, Corpse?” she then asked.

“Not yet. I’m gonna start the stream as soon as you say yes, though.”

“Oh c’mon” she laughed at his words “That’s emotional blackmail!”

“Maybe. Is it working?” he asked.

Y/N let out a heavy breath and ran a hand down her face. Corpse watched in anticipation as she seemed to have some internal battle with herself. He hoped that she’s gonna agree, he really missed playing with her.

“All right, then.” she suddenly said, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I’m gonna stay for a few rounds I guess...”

“Wait, really?” he asked, a smile on his face only widening.

“Well, yeah, partner.” she replied, which made his cheeks go warm “Your imposter techniques haven’t been very effective lately... Someone needs to help you out, or you’re gonna lose your title of the king of the Imposters.”

“Oh, is that’s how it is now?” he laughed in fake shock. “I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the title if my accomplice hadn’t left me all alone!”

“All right, all right.” she giggled at his accusations. “Your accomplice is on her way to support you.”

Corpse smiled even wider at the sound of her laughter. Her eyes shined with happiness when she was giggling, which only brought out their E/C color. The fact that his stupid babbling was the reason for her smile was making him feel extremely proud of himself.

“But just so you know... I still have no idea how this map works, so I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to guide me around it...”

“Y’know you could as well just say you want to hang out with me...”

“Corpse!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment.

“Just kidding Y/N” he chuckled at her reaction. “Of course I’m gonna guide you, don’t worry.”

“Okay then...” she said after a moment, looking at the screen again. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Will you send me the code, please?”

“Sure I will, Y/N”

“Okay. See you later, partner” she smiled brightly.

“See you, partner.”

When Y/N ended the call, Corpse let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, before moving to sit behind his desk.

It was only after he started the stream that he realized he was blushing. Not only because Y/N would join them, but because there was also another thing he wanted to ask her about, but didn’t find the courage to yet...

***

By the time Y/N turned on her computer and started the game, Corpse has already sent her the code, and there was a Discord invite waiting for her as well. She bit her lip nervously as her heartbeat quickened.

Was she nervous? As hell.

She did everything she could to avoid being in unnecessary spotlight since she started receiving those hate messages. Perhaps escaping the problem wasn’t the best solution, but it definitely was a comfortable one. People wouldn’t have a reason to hate on her if she disappeared.

But then she couldn’t say no to Corpse. And truth to be said - she really missed playing with her friends. From what she’d seen on Twitter, the lobby would be filled with those she’d already played with, so she wasn’t that nervous before the game. What she was nervous about though, was how people would react.

Accepting Corpse’s request was something she did due to the sudden rush of courage. And now there was no coming back.

She knew Corpse would understand if she changed her mind... but she heard how excited he was when she had agreed. She couldn’t do it to him.

So, once she’d taken a deep breath and put her headphones on, Y/N accepted the invite and braced herself for the inevitable chaos that was bound to take place in the call. She decided to wait with joining the lobby though - at least until they realize she’s with them.

“..the fuck you’re talking about?!” Felix’s voice was the first thing she heard, which made her roll her eyes with a smile. “It’s not my fault I sound like that! At least I don’t have a liar voice like Rae!”

“HEY!” the girl yelled “I don’t have a liar voice!”

“You do, you’re using it even now!” Jack argued, much to Rae’s dismay.

“What is going on here” Corpse’s deep voice sounded out suddenly.

“Oh, you’re here! Finally” Sykkuno immediately welcomed him with his always happy voice.

“Yeah, sorry that I’m late guys.”

“No worries, man” Pewdiepie spoke up again. “We were just talking about playing the voice card and that you’re basically the only one who can do it.”

“Not fair at all!” Rae chimed in, making Corpse chuckle.

“The voice card...” he hummed after a moment, before adding. “I wouldn’t really say I’m the only one though...”

“Well who else then? Everyone else either starts laughing or have a liar voice” Dave asked, and Rae scoffed at the last words.

“Well what about my guest?”

Y/N inhaled sharply, realizing that now she should probably reveal herself.

“Oh, right! Who you’re bringing man?” Sean asked with curiosity.

That’s when Y/N typed in the game code, and her white astronaut appeared in the lobby.

“Wait, who’s- HOLY SHIT” Sean all but yelled, when realization hit him. Y/N laughed loudly at his reaction, and her voice only seemed to prove to everyone that she really was there.

“KIDDO WHAT THE FUCK” Felix reflected Jack’s response, yelling over his friend.

“Oh my god, hi!”

“What a surprise!” Y/N managed to catch Sykkuno’s words. “It’s so amazing to have you here, Y/N/N!”

“As I live and breathe.” another voice spoke up, and Toast’s little astronaut came face to face with her white bean. “My lifelong nemesis. Back here snap my neck again, huh?”

“Yeah, happy to hear you too, Toast” Y/N giggled at his words, then she adressed the whole group. “Hi guys.”

“Okay I did not expect that in the slightest” Sean laughed happily “You’re here kiddo!”

“I am” she smiled from ear to ear, even though they couldn’t see her.

“Wait- Corpse, is that the thing you had to take care of?” her best friend asked Corpse with suspicious voice.

“Well...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, making everyone laugh.

“That’s so great Y/N! We missed you so much!” Rae thundered over the bickering of the boys. “The game hasn’t been the same without you...”

“Agreed. I suddenly stopped dying.” Toast commented, making her roll her eyes with a laugh.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or fucking scared right now.” Felix laughed nervously. “With Corpse and Y/N? We’re fucked now, guys.”

“I promise I’ll go easy on you, I haven’t played in so long I think I forgot all my strategies...”

“Yeah, sure.” Toast’s forever suspicious voice made her smile wider. “Just don’t kill me in the first roung, okay? I won’t vote you off just stay the fuck away from me you little murderer.”

“Okay, I promise I won’t kill you...”

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and the smile remained on her face even when they started the game. It only seemed to widen, when she saw the sign Imposter on her screen.

Only to giggle hysterically when she realized that Toast was the other imposter...

And so the game went on with Y/N and Toast cooperating like perfect serial killers. Corpse did as he promised and guided her through the map, both of them being closely followed by Sykkuno. Because of that she’d just sabotage the map most of the time to give Toast opportunities to kill their friends, but eventually managed to sneak out when her two fellow crewmates were doing their tasks. It just so happen that Pewds was walking past her, and she might’ve accidentally snapped his neck...

“Goddamnit! I knew it! I fucking knew it was you!” Sean yelled once the game was over and Y/N saw the sign VICTORY on her screen, her small character standing next to Toast’s one. He was ejected at some point because Poki managed to walk in on him killing Rae, but Y/N remained undetected until the very end. Perhaps the fact that Corpse was one of the two crewmates who were left alive had something to do wtih it...

“That was rude” Pewds said in a whiny voice, clearly referring to their encounter which led to his death. “I was just happily walking around, doing my tasks like a good crewmate, and then boom! Y/N happened”

“I would say I’m sorry... but I’m really not” she laughed, making Felix gasp in shock.

“That’s what happens when you work with Toast!”

“Good game, Y/N. That was amazing” the man in question said appreciatively.

“Will you finally forgive me for killing you that one time if I say that being imposters with you was cool?” she laughed nervously.

“Actually... Yeah, I guess we can bury the hatchet now. AND we should team up more in the future.”

“Great!”

“Excuse me, what?” Corpse’s voice made the whole lobby laugh. “I don’t remember us cancelling our partnership, Y/N.”

“Corpse...”

“Are you trying to steal my accomplice from me Toast?”

“Well she’s a great partner in crime after all...” Toast deliberately used the phrase, making Corpse gasp.

“Hey! She’s my partner! Find yourself your own, Toast” Corpse joked, making Y/N laugh bashfully, her cheeks warming up at his words.

“Yeah yeah, I remember, don’t worry man. No one’s gonna take your partner in crime away from you...” Toast’s teasing voice made them all laugh, Corpse and Y/N included.

For the next few rounds Y/N played as a crewmate, running around the map with either Corpse or Sykkuno and doing her tasks. During meetings they joked and laughed, and for a moment, she stopped thinking about what people watching her friend’s streams might think about her presence. After all, there was at least a small chance that they didn’t think about it at all, and simply enjoyed watching their favoirte youtubers. Just as she enjoyed playing with her friends.

Oh, and by the way, Corpse kept his promise and didn’t kill her even when she was the last player alive...

It was soon time when everyone started slowly leaving the lobby, having played for over three hours. Y/N also said her goodbyes to the others and promised that she’d join them to play a game called Raft next week.

When she turned her computer off and threw herself on her bed, Y/N immediately grabbed her phone to call Corpse. He answered right away.

“Well hello, partner...” she rolled her eyes with a smile when he accented the last word. “Or should I say, traitor, instead?”

“Corpse... you know I would never betray you...”

“Well how can I be so sure, now that I know how cool it is to be imposters with Toast?” she knew he was joking, she could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Not nearly as cool as it is with you, Corpse” Y/N grinned from ear to ear when Corpse scoffed.

“I spare your life so many times and that’s what I get in return? You cheat on me with Toast?” he said in disbelief “I’m disappointed, Y/N, I really am.”

“I would never!” she laughed through her words, even though her cheeks were now red because of Corpse’s words. “You’re the best partner in crime, Corpse, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else!”

Not only in the game, she thought.

“Hmm, alright. Let’s say I believe you.” he said after a moment of thinking.

“I mean it, Corpse...” Y/N said after calming down from her laughter. “I... I really wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Well, first of all for inviting me to today’s game... I really had lots of fun, it was great to play and talk with the others. And I wouldn’t be in the lobby if not for you...” Y/N mumbled, before verbalizing her previous thoughts. “And I also wanted to thank you for just... you know... being my friend. My real life partner in crime. I just wanted you to know I’m really glad I met you...”

Corpse was silent for a good few moments, and Y/N started panicking that maybe she said something wrong, or maybe he found her spontaneous confession funny, or worse, dumb. She was almost ready to somehow laugh it all off, when his voice cut her off.

“Thank you, Y/N. It really means a lot to me too.” he sounded like he had some troubles with speaking, which made Y/N furrow her brows in worry.

“Is everything okay, Corpse?”

“Yeah, I...” he stuttered, then laughed nervously. “I just didn’t expect that and... yeah. It’s not something I hear on a daily basis, especially from someone like you.”

Someone like me?

“But what you said... it’s mutual.” he said after a moment, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot. “You’re the best partner in crime I could ask for. And not only in the game.”

She could as well just pass out there and there...

“So uhm... there was one thing I wanted to ask you...”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if maybe... you know, if you’d have some time... and if you’d want to of course... would you maybe like to visit me here in San Diego?”

Yeah, passing out seems like a good idea.

***

This is not the last part.

TAG LIST:

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