#bucky barnes soulmate au
I need opinions, I’ve got a draft of a Bucky x Steve’s ex wife reader set after he goes back to Peggy. But I can’t decide to make it a long one shot or a multiple part mini series
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In This Life and the Next
Chapter 2: May it not Become the Evil Eye
Summary: They remember, but you forget. You can run from the ties that bind, but it’ll be right into their arms.
Chapter Summary: Face it. It is raw and broken and it is calling.
Pairings: Reader x Helmut Zemo & Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes
Reader is Desi and Muslim Coded on Occasion
Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT; Rape/Non-Con Elements; Deeply, Deeply Dark; Character Death Involved; Dubious Consent; Dark!Steve; Dark!Bucky; Dark!Zemo; Political/Mafia Elements; Obsessive/Manipulative Lovers; Workplace Sexual Harassment/Assault; Political Corruption; Pleasepleaseplease read at your own discretion
Chapter Warnings: Minor Dub-con/Non-con, Threats, Mention of wings being clipped
Notes: Chapter 2! Finally, I post a second chapter. In which Steve makes a promise and an ultimatum.
A cage of gold is still a cage.
You are joy.
You are joy, flowing through the rivers of his memory, a flurry of silks and color, a birdsong of ringing bells, ready to take flight. Oh little dove, will you not raise your wings to the sky and let the aria of your laugh reach the ears of your beloveds? Can you not see, little bird, that you are precious, that you are delicate, that you must be protected?
Don’t you understand, sweetling, don’t you see?
(You can never fly away from me.)
Your dreams are different now.
You knew they would be. You almost miss the nightmares.
Your hands ache with the longing of memory when you wake now, fingertips recalling the softness of kisses and the scrabbling of brick, crumpled memories tossed around your subconscious and struggling to be put together. Like glass case upon unyielding stone, the dust of time has dulled the pieces and nothing fits together anymore.
Nothing, that is, but the red ring on your finger, calling you to follow the strings and seek completion.
Why do you shy away? What are you afraid of in the cold-dark of the unknown? Is it the bright steel of their eyes, the slyness of the Baron’s smile and the sharpness of his guards’ scowls? How did your bond diverge this way and what will you do about it?
Do they know?
Of course they do, they have to know, they have to have felt the burn on their hands, dragging them back, coaxing them to turn and acknowledge that which the universe was begging them to do.
But they didn’t. And, in their defense: neither did you.
So where do you go from here?
Back to work, technically, staying hunched over your paperwork for an indeterminate amount of hours. You ought to go get lunch, escape while the Senator is busy arguing the budget in a committee meeting. Get fresh air and rid yourself of the miasma of his gaze, if for a little bit. But you’re busy. Busy and therefore perfectly willing to forgo — Excuse me, Miss…
You’re too proud to admit that the yelp pouring from your lips actually belongs to you, but it does and when you turn to face the reason for your racing heartbeat, you can see the bemused quirk of his lips as he looks at you and knows.
Sorry, did I scare you? He speaks with a voice like rasping silk, steady and quiet but used to being heard and listened to. By you, especially.
You don’t know why you know that.
Yes you do.
It’s fine. Good girl, wave it away and pretend you aren’t panicking. Smile. Fake it. How can I help you? You’re from Baron Zemo’s office, right? Um… You remember him, the one Zemo didn’t name, composed of furrowed brows and soft lips and a beard you were suddenly imagining running your fingers through and snap out of it, girl!
Yeah. Captain Steve Rogers — I’m chief of his security team.Oh. That makes some sense, but now you’re wondering what the Hell he’s doing here, standing in front of you. The Senator around?
Oh. No, he’s in a Committee meeting, but I can ca — he cuts you off by stepping closer to you, eyes fixed onto you.
Eyes fixed onto your hand.
No. It’s you I want.
You knew this conversation was coming, didn’t you? You knew someone would come, and now here he is, daring you to ask him all the reasons why. Daring you to acknowledge that which you won’t, that which you’ve tried to hide by denying your nature and that… that is the greatest sin of all, little dove.
You’re not stupid, sweetheart, and I know you heard me. Stand up.
Don’t move. You’re not a marionette on strings, are you? So don’t move, don’t do anything but cross your arms over your chest. Don’t acknowledge the coiling heat in your core when that brow of his furrows further, when he looms over you just like that, when his hand shoots out and grabs your wrist before you can react, when he pulls you to your feet whether you want him to or not. Don’t. React.
When I give you an order, sweetheart, you better learn to listen. Low and dark and in your face, right against those surprise-parted lips and shock-widened eyes, filling your vision with the absolute supremacy of his will over yours.
Didn’t run fast enough, rabbit.
He doesn’t give you time to think, time to sharpen your talons and swipe at him, save yourself. He cages you instead, slamming your back against the wall beside your desk, pressing in closer, eyes trained unerringly on yours. The hand on your wrist shifts, sliding up until he’s forced your fingers to lace with his and presses the back of your hand up against the wall, just beside your head. Did you think you got away?
What are you talking about? And let me go!
The chuckle in your ear is low, paying no attention to your free hand pressing against his chest, to the way you try to close your legs and push his thigh between them out. A soft chuff, really, like a lion laughing in the face of prey. We gave you a week, sweetheart. You can’t avoid us forever.
A week since Baron Helmut Zemo and company had walked into your workplace, spoken to your employer, and revealed they were your soulmates, all three connected by a red thread, converging into the ring around your finger. A week.
You had been avoiding them.
You open your mouth to fire something back, maybe something snappy, maybe something cruel, but his free hand has you by the face before you can, squeezing your cheeks with rough fingers while the palm of his hand presses your jaw up and swallows your words. No.
The heat flares again, pulsing over your skin like a wave of fire, settling in your lungs and heaving your chest, demanding more air as you huff through your nose and try to push him away but he is an immovable object and you are not an unstoppable force, girl, you are only a girl in the face of a cold and cruel Adonis and you can never escape.
Don’t make me clip your wings.
It’s for your own good.
I’m done waiting around.
You want to hate him. You want to slam your fists against his chest and scream and draw attention to his crimes but the mouth that slides over yours is warm and familiar and the hand that was once bruising your jaw is now holding you so tenderly you might as well be made of delicate crystal and he is…
Soft, on your lips, the pressure of plush warmth and gentle breath, faint sighs from the both of you melding together a moment before blue eyes meet yours and he rests his forehead to your temple. I’m done waiting around, sweetheart.
It’s not a threat.
It’s a plea, soft and sweet, and don’t you want to give in? Don’t you want to surrender to the warmth of him, the strength of him, don’t you feel saferight here, in his arms? You do. You feel it in your bones that you do.
So why is it that when you open your mouth again, you say I can’t and let his eyes shift from begging-soft to hard as ice?
Why do you always try to fly away?
He strokes your cheek like a regret, wiping away a tear, a streak of blood, a memory of pain, and the second kiss is no longer asking.
The plushness of your mouth is his own playground, teeth tugging at soft lips and soothed with a brush of his tongue, demanding surrender and if you do not give it he will win this war for your affection, do not tempthim… or do. Do tempt, curl your fingers into the harness at his chest, feel the warm expanse of him swell with the longing of unknown lifetimes and fall.
Fall right into him.
Let out that whimper of a moan when his lips travel along your jaw, when he finds the tenderness just below your ear, when he nips at you and threatens to mark you his here and now. But you are his.
Come with me, sweetheart. Rasping and warm and there’s the heat again, snaking through you and pooling slick around your center and here you are, snaking your hand up to his shoulder and around the back of his neck and there go your fingers winding through that soft long hair and That’s it, sweetheart, hold me closer, I’ve got you.
You want to.
Steve, please d — you’re cut off by the sound of his snarl and then the sudden release as he pushes himself off the wall and away from you, leaving you to crumple against that sole solid surface on shaky legs as his thigh leaves the space between yours and you realize just how molten your body had become.
He steadies you by holding your wrist again, making you look at the red ring on your finger, his other hand showing you his, the strings tangled between you both. You can’t keep running from this, sweetheart, and we’re not gonna let you, understand?
The further you run, the tighter we will hold you.
And you. You gape at him with love-swollen lips and slick warmth in your panties and you have the audacity to try to wrench your hand away and snap I’m not running. I’m right here — you leave me alone!
And oh, he looks cut to the quick when you say that, the lust-blown darkness in his eyes fading fast, less angry than hurt and dropping your wrist for you to take back. Slink into your chair, girl, and look at the wounded lion before you.
Look what you’ve done.
Sweetness… he reaches out again, saying your name like an apology, watching you flinch from his fingers and shushing you softly, I’ll give you one more chance to get used to it. You know where to find us. Find me.Don’t make us come after you again, sweetheart, cuz we ain’t gonna be patient long.
And with that, he turns you around and leaves you to face the consequences of your reactions.
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soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there
series masterlist // previous // epilogue
word count: 6k (v worth it me thinks)
a/n: the final official part has arrived bffs </3 i will be doing an epilogue of just pure fluff do not fret <333 i hope u all enjoy this one !! made it xtra long for y’all <3 let me know what you guys think pls !! , i cried writing jt and the ending is my favorite thing ever eeek !!!
You were sitting on the couch next to Natasha, it was quiet as the news played on the tv in front of the two of you, news reporters talking about the aftermath of Thanos’ doing.
23 days since you had lost half the team, since you had lost half the universe. Since you had lost bucky.
Life was dull, you cried for hours on end at night, longing filling your chest. Sometimes you would dream of him, a smile on your face as you slept. Then you would wake up, reaching out next to you in hopes of your fingers being met with the cold vibranium of his arm. You were met with cold sheets, emptiness.
Steve missed him too, sometimes he would sit next to you when you were in tears, placing an arm around you and comforting you as best he could. Natasha and him took turns watching over you, making sure you stayed healthy.
The sound of low rumbling brought you out of the trance you were in, you furrowed your brows and looked at nat, she looked back at you equally as confused. As you went to get up things around you started shaking, steve came of the restroom concerned.
“what the hell is that?” You questioned, Rhodey and banner walking into the room together. The five of you ran out into the yard, looking up your eyes went wide. You recognized carol carrying the giant ship, you had met briefly when she came to earth after receiving Fury’s signal.
Your mouth flew open and tears filled your eyes as you saw tony, a smile on your face as Steve ran to tony, steadying him as the woman next to him handed him off.
The rest of you watched from afar as pepper ran up to tony, the two hugging. You felt your heart tug in your chest as the two soulmates embraced.
You were sat next to thor as while the others explained what happened, though you figured from the pain in their eyes they had suffered the consequences of thanos’ actions themselves.
“whats wrong with them?” Tony asked, looking at you and thor.
“oh he’s pissed, he thinks he failed, which he did-” the raccoon continued to talk but you zoned out.
“did barnes..?” Tony asked softly and steve nodded, his eyes softened, if he had the energy he would’ve gotten up and hugged you.
As they continued to talk you could see tony getting angrier at the captain, you hated it. You hated knowing that things would most likely never be the same between the two friends. You watched teary eyed as the two argued, the lump growing in your throat.
Thor placed his hand on you arm gently, reassuring you everything would be okay. You looked up and saw tony take out his arc reactor, shoving it into Steve’s hand.
“here, take this. You find him, and you put that on, you hide” tony spat, immediately falling to the ground. Steve was quick to catch him, holding him up.
Before you knew it he was passed out, steve carrying him quickly to a bed with steve and Rhodey hot on his heels.
You sat back down next to thor, he handed you some of whatever he was snacking on and you smiled at him softly. The two of you watching the rest of the team bicker and talk about where thanos was.
“-unfortunately they didn’t have you guys” carol replied to Rhodey, you looked at thor, nudging him and he nodded, getting up while he still chewed.
Thor walked up to carol, holding his hand out as Stormbreaker came to him, barely missing carol. The two stared at each other before thor nodded.
“I like this one” he turned to you and you gave him a tight lipped smile.
“Let’s go get this son of a bitch” steve spoke, a determined look on his face as everyone moved to get ready.
“y/n are you not coming?” Steve spoke and you hesisted, looking around before shaking your head.
“I’m gonna stay here with tony and pepper, in case they need something” you replied, fiddling with the dog tags you still wore around your neck.
Steve knew that wasn’t the reason, but he didn’t push you, simply nodding his head, giving you a hug and then walking away.
You sat back on the couch after letting pepper know you would be there if they needed anything. You let your mind wander back to the flash on you and bucky at a picnic, the sun seemed so bright and you caught yourself smiling as you thought of bucky. Your eyes were closed as you seemingly looped the flash of your futures in your head.
“isn’t the sunset so beautiful james” you sighed contently, a small smile on your face as you looked at the pinks and reds. You turned to look at bucky, but he was gone. “Bucky?” Your heart raced, tears in your eyes as you looked around.
“y/n?” You whipped around quickly, mouth falling open as you saw bucky fading into dust.
“no!” You cried out, running to catch him.
Your eyes shot open and your heart raced in your chest. That can’t be right, that can’t happen. Bucky was your soulmate. Those visions were set in stone they had to happen, those were the rules, they can’t just change all of a sudden. Right?
You peeked into the room, checking in on tony and pepper.
“can i get some water actually?” Pepper asked and you nodded, quickly coming back with water and some snacks for her. “Thanks” you whispered and you smiled at her.
“they’ll bring him back, i know they will” pepper reassured you. You gaveher the best smile you could manage and replied, “i know.”
You held out hope for the time the others were out. Shaking away the thought of the flashes of your future changing. It’s just because I’m on edge, that’s it. You reasoned, your leg bouncing as you waited for them to return.
Everyone walked in, you ran up to them hopeful for good news, you looked at steve with a smile, hugging him and holding your hand in his. He felt his heart crush in his chest, this was the happiest you’d been since the decimation and it was going to be torn from you immediately.
“so? did you get the stones? when are we getting everyone back? Does someone need to snap or clap or what? did you guys kill him?” You rushed out, eyes shining in hope as you looked at everyone. Your stomach fell as you saw the look on their faces.
“he destroyed them” Natasha spoke cautiously, “there’s no more stones, we- there’s nothing we can do.”
“oh,” was all you managed to say, your hand going limp in Steve’s, you felt a new wave of pain coming up and you didn’t want to have another meltdown infront of them.
“y/n, please we’re here for you” steve spoke, trying to grasp your hand again after you pulled it out of his.
“I’m fine” you smiled, walking away quickly to your room. Steve sighed, going to follow you but Natasha stopped him, knowing you would want some space.
You laid on your bed, at first nothing happened, you just looked up at your ceiling, an emptiness in your chest. Then it all hit you.
Bucky was gone, there was nothing that could bring him back. The one person you were destined to was gone and you couldn’t do a single thing about it. The little time you had together wasn’t nearly enough to you. The two day trips to wakanda left you wanting more, but you could never get more time. You were always out of time.
For years you had been praying to finally touch your soulmate, to meet them and live a long happy life together. You knew you would never get that the moment you reached out to bucky and saw your future with him. You knew the road would be bumpy but you held out hope, both of you did. You tried to keep him within your grasp, you tried to hold him close to your heart for as long as you could despite knowing you were out of time. You thought of how he would embrace you, how he would keep you safe in his arms while you slept.
Now you slept in an empty bed, knowing there wouldn’t be a next visit to wakanda. Knowing your soulmate was gone and you didn’t get to say goodbye. Knowing you were back to where you started- Alone.
It had been five years since the Decimation happened, everyone else called it the blip.
Gently, you set down the bag of groceries, finally closing your apartment door after your third trip up. You arranged everything quietly, 40s music softly playing from your speaker and the jingle of Buckys dog tags filling the apartment.
You never took them off. They were all you had of him, they were the only thing to keep you going. You would fiddle with them and hold them close to your chest. They brought you comfort. The same comfort bucky would give you, the comfort he had given you during your time in wakanda. The same you should’ve had right in this moment.
One more fight
The words rang in your ears, taunting you. Rage, sadness and pain all filled your chest, your heart aching as you finished putting everything away, shutting the music off and turning on the tv. You looked down at the dog tags that rested on your chest, tears welling in your eyes as you read over them.
The hot tears fell down your face and you held the dog tags tightly in your hands, mind going blank as you let yourself wallow in the pain for a moment.
Your phone rang and you wiped your tears away, sniffling as you saw Steve’s contact picture. You hesisted before answering.
“hi steve!” You spoke brightly, putting on your best act.
“hey y/n how are you?” Steve spoke smoothly and you wiped at your tears before replying.
“I’m doing good! Just got back from the grocery store” you wanted to hang up, to just watch reruns of your favorite show and forget about everything
“are you sure?” Steve spoke cautiously and you replied quicker than you intended, “course I’m sure!”
Then there was a knock on your door.
“great because I’m outside” steve replied happily, hanging up and waiting outside. Your stomach fell, you looked in the mirror, your eyes and nose were redándolo your cheeks flushed.
Quickly you ran to splash water on your face, taking in a shaky breath as you dried your face and moved to open the door, putting a smile on your face and greeting steve.
“if it isn’t my favorite captain” you smiled, steve looked at you warily, taking you into a hug after you let him in.
“you forget i have enhanced hearing y/n, i know you were sniffling right before opening the door” steve spoke bluntly and your shoulders fell. “y/n, you can’t keep shutting me out, Natasha is worried about you too” he spoke softly, taking your hand and leading you to your couch.
“i just miss him” you whispered and steve sighed, pulling you into him so your head rested on his chest, he wrapped his arms around you as you cried quietly.
“i know, i do too, we just have to learn to live without him, he would want you to start a life y/n, you don’t have to be alone” steve spoke. His presence was calming.
You and steve had been friends for so long, there was a reason he knew he could call you when SHIELD fell. You were the one to help him adjust to modern society, you were his first friend out of the ice.
“how about you go shower and change, and I’ll make some food for us okay? We can watch your show while we eat” steve smiled, he knew you hadn’t showered in three days from the way your hair was tangled and messily thrown into a ponytail.
“okay” you nodded, smiling softly as he helped you up, handing you some tissues before the two of you headed to do your own things.
You were grateful for steve, he had always been there to check up on you, constantly making sure you were okay. You had basically shut everyone else out, Natasha didn’t really reach out. You didn’t blame her.
You walked out of your room, the smell of pasta hitting your nose and your stomach growled, steve smiled as he set out the two plates.
“tried my best” he mumbled and you shook your head.
“thank you steve” you hugged him tightly and he returned it, letting go after a couple moments so the two of you could eat.
“i saw some whales the other day” you spoke up, “when i was coming up the bridge” steve smiled, glad to know you were leaving the apartment.
“fewer ships, cleaner water” he nodded, “might tell Nat, I’m sure she could use some good news” you nodded.
The two of you ate in silence, watching your favorite show as you did. Steve stayed for a bit longer before heading back to the compound. He hugged you tightly and you held onto him.
“promise you’ll reach out” steve pleaded and you nodded, “I’ll try” he smiled at your words, it was a start.
It hadn’t even been an hour when steve was calling you again, you rolled your eyes as you answered the phone.
“steve im not crying i swear” you joked, a small smile on your face.
“you have to get to the compound” he spoke in a serious tone and your stomach dropped, “scott Lang is here” you felt your heart race.
“wasn’t he- i thought he-” you cut yourself off, moving to get a jacket and your car keys, “I’m on my way.”
When you arrived you rushed towards the living room watching as Scott paced infront of steve and Natasha
As you set next to steve, scott began to ramble, talking about quantum physics and his time i. The quantum realm.
“wait, are you talking about a time machine?” You asked him, and he shook his head.
“no, of course not, it’s like a- yeah a time machine i know it’s crazy but there’s gotta be a way” scott mumbled.
“Scott, i get emails from a raccoon, nothing sounds crazy anymore” you smiled at natashas comment.
“so who do we talk about this?” Scott asked nervously, you and steve looked at each other for a second.
The four of you approached the cabin, your heart heavy as your eyes land on tony. You knew how much he wanted to just stay out of everything, he was happy for once, he was with his soulmate, he had a family.
“we know what it sounds like” Scott spoke as he finished explaining his plan.
You were quiet as tony and steve talked, Scott joining in when he mentioned his plan of a time heist.
“we can bring everyone back” Natasha reasoned and tony scoffed a little. “Or we could make things worse” he stated and you shifted. The four bickered for a while longer before you spoke up.
“Tony, we have to take a stand” his eyes landed on you and his gaze softened a bit.
“we did stand, and yet here we are” he spoke sharply.
“i know you got a lot on the line, a wife, a daughter, but i lost someone very importantly me, a lot of people did-” you zoned out as Scott spoke, your eyes resting on the lake and watching as the water moved slowly.
“Mommy told me to come and save you!” Morgan smiled as Tony picked her up. You smiled at the pair.
“good job, I’m saved” tony smiled at her, he turned to you guys before sighing, “i wish you’d come to ask for something else, i missed you guys” his eyes were soft and he spoke sincerely.
“I’m happy for you, i really am. But this is a second chance” steve pleaded and tony replied quickly, “i got my second chance right here.”
“Aunt y/n!” Morgan smiled as her eyes landed on you, wiggling out of her dads grasp as she ran to hug you.
“hi little stark” you smiled, picking her up with ease and carrying her on your hip.
Tony smiled at you as the steve and Natasha looked at you in confusion.
“i visit, I’m not a horrible person” you mumbled, you knew steve would have some choice words for you later.
“If you don’t talk shop, you can stay for lunch” tony spoke up, the others sighed, walking towards the car.
You set Morgan down, telling her to head inside. You gave Tony a hug, “I’ll visit soon, just haven’t been feeling the best” you mumbled and he rubbed your back.
“you always have a room here y/n” he smiled softly and you nodded, waving goodbye before going the other three in the car.
“we’re gonna need a big brain” steve spoke, Scott looked at him in disbelief.
“bigger than his?” Scott questioned and you rolled your eyes, knowing you would be seeing Bruce soon.
“can you drop me off at home actually?” you spoke up, steve looking at you for a moment before nodding, driving to your apartment building. You got out quickly and said goodbye, “let me know what you guys find” steve, Natasha and Scott nodded, wishing you goodnight.
The cold New York air nipped at your skin as you rushed up your stairs, holding your jacket tightly as you fumbled with your key and let yourself in, sighing when you closed the door.
You changed into your pajamas quickly, brushing your teeth before grabbing the notebook and your pen on your nightstand and sliding into bed. You flipped to the next empty page as you began to write.
today was okay, steve came over and found me crying. he stayed and made dinner, he’s been taking care of me for a while now, i feel kinda guilty.
You continued to write into the journal, letting all your feelings pour out into the page. As you finished for the night you clicked you pen and set them on your nightstand. You had finished all the pages in the notebook already. With a sigh you got up from your bed, grabbing the small notebook and placing it on the floor as you reached for a container under your bed.
You reached for the lid and opened it, there were numerous other notes book, you placed the one you had just written in next to your last one, closing the lid and sliding it back under your bed.
For the past five years you’ve been writing to bucky, it helped you stay somewhat sane. If he ever came back you didn’t want him to feel left out, you wanted to make sure he felt like he didn’t miss those five years of your life. You wanted him to be there. Your hands fiddled with the dog tags as you laid on your side.
You needed him to be here with you.
The next morning you woke up to a call from steve, with fuzzy vision your answered the phone, bringing it to your ear.
“hello?” You mumbled and steve spoke quickly, your eyes widened as he spoke.
“tony found a way” was all you needed to hear to have you scrambling to get ready.
“be there in 30” you rushed out, a smile on your face. You felt hope blossoming in your chest, thoughts of the picnic with bucky flooded your mind as you got ready.
You were going to get him back. You were going to be together.
You ran into the compound as smiled at those around you, rocket looked at you in shock when you smiled at him.
“didn’t know she did that” he remarked and Scott looked at him equally as shocked.
“Steve! Tony!” You beamed, crashing into them and taking them into a group hug. You let out a sigh of happiness.
“Is it true? Can we actually get them back?” Your eyes shined and tony found his heart growing, it had been so long since you had been happy.
“we have a shot kid” he nodded, “Clint just tried it out and it worked,” your smile grew, throwing your arms around him as everyone gathered into the room
“well what are we waiting for? Let’s plan this heist!” You smiled, looking at everyone and steve nodded.
You listened as everyone spoke, sharing their knowledge on the stones. You sat next to Natasha who was taking notes, glancing over at them your gears turned, speaking up as they talked about Stephen Strange.
“he lived in New York?” You questioned and they nodded, Tony rolling his eyes at you, “are you paying attention?”
“if you pick the right year there’s three stones in New York” you replied quickly, everyone looking at you in surprise.
Not long after your realization there was finally a formulated plan. You were nervous, excited and hopeful. You were going to get everyone back, you were going to get bucky back.
“Six stones, three teams, one shot” you mumbled, everyone nodding as you looked at the plan you had come up with steve and tony.
“I’ll stay behind just in case, you all know what you’re doing and ive been out of the loop so” you trailed off and they nodded.
“you already did enough, i mean you came up with the whole plan” tony scoffed and you smiled at him.
“you guys got this” you encouraged them, natasha smiling at you. Without hesitating you pulled the three in for a hug, squeezing tightly before letting go.
“okay, go kick some ass” you smiled.
The team filed onto the time machine and you waited by the buttons, looking for steve signal.
“see you in a minute” natasha called out to you and you waved goodbye, pressing the buttons and holding your breath and they all shrunk and disappeared from your sight.
It was only a minute later when they all appeared, you smiled as you ran up to them, quickly doing a headcount. Your stomach fell when you saw Natasha was missing.
“Clint wheres nat” you asked quietly, voice shaking. He didn’t reply. You stumbled back, teary eyed as you walked out.
You looked at the lake, steve, Tony, thor, Clint and Bruce gathered around you.
“do we know if she had any family?” Tony asked and you scoffed.
“us” steve spoke up and Thor looked at them confused.
“you’re acting like she’s dead, why are we acting like she’s dead?” Thor spoke up, his voice growing louder and you winced as he continued, Clint soon jumping in and arguing with him. The two men shouted and you let your tears fall silently, steve noticed and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his chest.
“she’s not coming back” Bruce mumbled quietly.
“we have to make it worth it” you spoke up, wiping your tears and standing up.
“we will” steve spoke, getting up after you did.
“the what are we waiting for” you looked at them with a small smile, squeezing Clint’s arm before walking past him and into the lab.
You waited anxiously for them to finish the gauntlet, jumping up when rocket walked in with it in hand.
“who’s gonna snap their freaking fingers?” Thor spoke up, immediately volunteering.
“no Thor, wait a second” you stopped him, everyone else protesting his actions.
“what we’re just waiting for the right opportunity?” He huffed and Scott spoke up.
“we should at least discuss it”
Thor nodded his head, speaking up again, “I’m the strongest avenger this is my responsibility, it’s my duty” you were quick to stop him.
“it’s not about that” you spoke gently. He furrowed his brows and turned to look at you angrily.
“stop it! Just let me!” You could see the tears in his eyes, “let me do something good, something right”
Tony explained to him the power the stones had, trying to reason for him to not do it. Thor argued right back before Bruce cut him off, explaining how it almost killed thanos when he snapped and how no one else could survive it.
“how do you know you will?” Steve asked cautiously.
“it’s mainly gamma, it’s like i was made for this” he whispered as everyone moved back you noticed Nebula was missing.
Bruce’s grunts of pain made you focus back onto him, “are you okay? talk to me!” You screamed, frantic as he yelled in pain.
“I’m okay!” He spoke fighting against the pain and snapping his fingers, you held your breath as he did so, your heartbeat thumping in your ears.
You looked out the window and saw two birds, a smile on your face as you realized it had worked. Clint had a smile on his face as he answered a call, “honey, honey!” He spoke.
You turned to tell the team it had worked, but before you could you were blasted away by missiles, the compound crumbling underground.
You groaned as you heard rocket calling out for her, you and Rhodey doing your best to free him. Finally he wiggled free, the three of you sighing before your eyes went wide. A flood of water washing over the three of you as you panicked.
Rhodey called for help and you heard Scott on the other end. You kept your head up high, trying to not drown, rocket clung onto you as Bruce tried to hold the structure up.
“see you on the other side” Rhodey spoke and you geared up shaking your head.
“Hang on! I’m coming!” Scott yelled and you tried your best to stay above water, Rhodey struggling next to you as rocket clung onto your back.
Before you knew it you were clinging onto Scott as he turned into giant man, Rocket continued to Clint onto you and Rhodey held on for fear life.
Scott placed you and rocket down, you spotted the wakandans next to you and ran towards them, smiling as you saw t’challa and shuri amongst them.
“shuri!” You cried out, hugging her tightly. She handed you a gun and some knives and you quickly strapped them to you. “How’d you know” you smiled and she shrugged.
“you people never seem prepared for battle” she teased and you smiled, standing next to her as you prepared to face thanos’ army.
Your eyes scanned the crowd for bucky, heart beating louder and louder and you couldn’t find him. You ran onto the battlefield with everyone, immediately shooting and fighting the aliens off.
You shot them as fast as you could, but they were quickly surrounding you, grunting as one of them tackled you,
Before you could even think of grabbing a knife it’s body fell limp and you pushed it off you, looking at the bullet wounds.
“hope you haven’t been fighting like that this whole time doll”
You felt your heart drop and your stomach flutter. Bucky.
You turned around quickly, a smile on your face as your eyes met his baby blue one. Your smile grew as you ran towards him, dropping your gun and throwing yourself onto him. He picking you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist, holding you tightly.
“you’re here, you’re back, you’re here” you spoke over and over, tears streaming down your cheeks as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.
“I’m here doll” he reassured you, holding onto you tightly and closing his eyes for a moment. The sound of an alien screaming made you snap out of your bubble.
You groaned as you picked up your gun, shooting it in the head before turning back to bucky, you smiled at him before crashing your lips onto his. He smiled into the kiss, leaning in for a second before the two of you pulled away.
“been waiting five years to do that” you spoke breathless and bucky smiled at you.
“after this you can kiss me all you want sweets” he spoke and you giggled, moving to press your backs against one another, shooting at the aliens.
You thought back to wakanda, how familiar it all was. But this time you would win. This time it was your last fight, you would win and you could go home with bucky. You could be with your soulmate.
You watched as the other tossed the gauntlet around, trying to keep it away from thanos.
“Bucky we have to go help them!” You called out and he nodded, the two of you running towards where steve, Thor and tony were, helping fend off the aliens attacking them.
You saw thanos get the gauntlet and you felt you blood run cold, you froze in your spot. Please, not again. You turned to bucky, dropping your weapon as you clung onto him tightly.
“not letting you go again” you mumbled, kissing him before letting go and grabbing a knife from your suit and running towards the titan.
You threw the knife at thanos with all you had, lodging it in his shoulder. He cried out in pain as it stabbed him, giving Tony the chance to attack him once more, pulling the gauntlet before Thanos punches him away.
“I am inevitable” thanos spoke, your blood ran cold as he snapped, flinching away when he did. When nothing happened you looked at him once more, a smile on your face as you saw the glove had no stones.
“And i” tony spoke, “am Iron man” he snapped his fingers, the white light blinding you before bucky pulled you into him, shielding you from the light.
As the two of you looked again you saw the aliens fading into dust. You held Buckys hand tightly, your knuckles white. You looked at him in excitement, wrapping your arms around his neck when you realized you had won.
You had won.
Turning quickly you ran to look for tony and steve, the smile falling from your face when you saw peter over Tony’s body.
You ran towards him, falling to your knees next to him.
“tony? no you can’t” you shook your head, tears welling in your eyes and he turned to look at you.
“hey kid, take care of my girls yeah?” He smiled and you shook your head, “you can take care of em you have to hold on a bit longer” you protested.
“always told you that you had one hell of a throw” he chuckled dryly, “‘ts what helped me get the stones” he smiled gently and you broke down into tears, “you have him now, you’ll be okay” he whispered.
Bucky pulled you aside, letting pepper speak to tony. You cried into Buckys chest, not knowing what would happen to you if you looked back.
It happened so fast.
You were in a black dress outside the cottage you had visited countless time. You didn’t imagine the next time you visited would be for Tony’s funeral.
Bucky held your hand, his thumb making small circles on the back of your hand to calm you down. You could help but lean into him, his presence relaxing you immediately.
You smiled fondly as you thought back to the time tony tried to talk you into breaking up with bucky one time after you came back from wakanda. You knew he was joking but he still felt a little bad, buying you dinner as compensation
As the service ended you followed bucky, steve and Sam to the time machine where Bruce waited.
You stood next to bucky as steve said goodbye to Sam, walking up to you guys next.
“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til i get back” steve spoke and bucky smiled.
“how can i? you’re taking all the stupid with you” the hugged tightly for a bit before pulling apart.
“gonna miss you buddy” bucky sighed and steve looked at him softly.
“it’s gonna be okay buck” he turned to you.
“bye steve” you let out softly, bottom lip quivering. He hugged you tightly, kissing your temple softly.
“you’re still gonna be my favorite best friend” he spoke softly and you smiled, letting out a soft chuckle before sniffling.
“you finally have him back y/n, you’re gonna be happy, i promise” you nodded and hugged him one more time, knowing it would be the last time.
As he stepped into the time machine you melted into Buckys side, he put an arm around you and kissed the top of your head.
Steve vanished as he went to return the stones, seconds later Bruce signaled to bring him back, but he didn’t appear.
“where is he?” Sam spoke, worry lacing his voice.
“I don’t know he blew right past his time stamp, he should be here” Bruce panicked and you and bucky looked around your eyes landing Onondaga older version of him sitting on a log.
You nudged bucky as you heard sam and Bruce arguing.
“sam” you called out, looking at him before back at steve. Sam walked towards you cautiously as you pointed at steve.
“go ahead” bucky spoke to the man, the two of you smiled at sam as he approached steve.
You and bucky smiled as steve handed sam the shield. A grin on your face as he put the shield on his arm.
“he’s gonna be a great captain america” bucky smiled fondly and you nodded. “Steve made the right choice” you added.
The two of you walked away hand in hand, getting into your car and heading back to your apartment. Bucky settled in quickly, sitting on your couch and pulling you down with him, a small squeal leaving your lips as your back crashed onto his chest.
“missed you so much buck” you mumbled, wiggling so that you could cuddle into him, leaving open mouthed kisses on his neck and onto his jawline.
“i missed you too doll” he whispered, kissing you softly, his hand moving to the back of your neck. He pulled away when he pinky felt the familiar chain of his dog tags, hooking it onto his pinky and pulling them out from under your shirt.
“you kept them?” He looked at you teary eyed and you nodded, heart racing.
“they were the only thing left of you, course i did” you smiled, taking them off and placing them onto him, fixing them so that they laid on his chest.
“that reminds me!” You smiled, getting off of him and running to your room, pulling the bin from under your bed and carrying it towards bucky.
“i- uh- when you were gone i wrote in these journals almost everyday, to kinda keep you up to date for when you got back” you smiled sheepishly and bucky felt his heart grow in his chest.
“you never lost faith?” He questioned, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. You shook your head.
“sometimes i wanted to” you mumbled, holding his hand in yours, “but you never took me on a picnic so i wasnt letting you go so easily” you pouted and he smiled, kissing you.
The two of you smiled into the kiss, giggling and he peppered kisses all over your face.
“I’m your forever y/n y/l/n” bucky whispered, his forehead resting against yours. You felt your heart rate speed up, your stomach full of butterflies. Closing your eyes as you relished the moment.
“and I’m yours forever bucky barnes” you kissed him softly before opening your eyes, the two of you pulling away a bit.
You reached out and caressed his cheek, you smiled at each other. You finally had your soulmate, and you had forever together.
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hi bffs !! will try to get part 5 of touch up tonight !! most likely will be up in two ish hours <333
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While You Sleep
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: angst, mention of violence, slow burn
Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Hope was surprisingly actually kept alive as suddenly you were seeing the blonde-haired super soldier every morning. Sometimes even in the afternoon. While his order never changed -- quite the man with a plan as he certainly liked to stick to a routine -- he became much more talkative.
It started out as the littlest things. Steve would bid you a good morning or ask you about some breaking news he saw the other day. You entertained the chit-chat quite well in between orders. Steve had practically taken over the seat at the bar, the same one you had offered him that one nerve-wracking day.
Wondering what he would ask you about each day certainly helped to keep your mind off things. Granted, it didn’t totally block out the fact you were speaking to your soulmate’s best friend, but the conversations mixed with that tinge of hope sure did keep thought about the nightmares at bay.
Nothing was exactly progressing or regressing with the nightmares. They were at a sort of standstill in your mind. They were filled with violence but still were of older times, decades ago. The emotions, though, were not letting up. If you didn’t wake up with vivid imagery of knives being flung and guns being loaded, you sure did wake up with a roller coaster of feelings rushing through you.
But what was felt from your soulmate didn’t exactly align with what the nightmares told. The small glimpses of Bucky’s eyes as the Winter Soldier wasn’t filled with… anger, sadness, regret. They were just… eyes. They held little to nothing outside of stoic determination. If lines were getting crossed, you weren’t sure. You still walked around feeling like a freakshow on display despite the fact no one, especially your coworker who had seen you initially crash and burn, ever asked you about the soulmate “dreams.”
Well, that was until Steve started getting more comfortable at the coffee shop.
One afternoon, he had apparently decided to get bold. He was lounging at the little bar area and you could feel his eyes watching you clean up some syrup bottles.
Steve broke the silence, asking you something that he typically always did: “How are you?”
You shrugged with your back still facing him. “I’m doing okay, Steve. How are you?”
“No,” he let out an awkward cough. Your brows furrowed as you turned to him, abandoning your task. “How are you?” He asked with such a pointed look that your heart sank.
You fumbled with the rag you were still holding, trying to look anywhere but at Steve -- but his demanding presence didn’t allow for it.
“If I’m being honest, not much is getting better,” you admitted. “I still see things, sure, but it's really about the feelings I get. They are so strong but I don’t know how. The dreams are like old memories or something, I’m not sure anymore.”
Steve nodded then looked down at his lukewarm coffee. You didn’t know how he didn’t get tired of that stuff, but you were past thinking he actually came in for the coffee anymore.
“Thought they would’ve lightened up by now,” Steve eventually said. Your eyes shot to him. Every other word out of this man’s mouth seemed to stun you. You were nearly convinced he knew everything.
You wanted to tread on this, but carefully.
“Why…” you sighed. “Why do you say that?”
“Hmm?” Steve hummed as if he didn’t hear your question. Your eyes narrowed in confusion.
“I asked, why do you say that?”
He looked away, this time at the lines of syrup bottles behind you. He seemed lost in thought, his eyes shining with concern. Maybe he just needed that push and you wanted him to confirm… something, anything.
Steve snapped back to you suddenly. “Just thought since it’s been a few weeks it’d be better.”
You looked to the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “Steve, do you-,”
You were abruptly cut off by Steve getting up and placing his empty coffee mug on the counter. “Thanks for the coffee.” That was his final parting words for the day before he walked out of the shop, leaving you standing there confused and annoyed.
But this wasn’t going to be over. Especially not after you went home that night, settled into bed, and gave into the nightmares. While still past memories, they were only a few years old. And featured Steve. Flashed of a bruised, tragic-looking Captain America played out quickly. The feelings washing over you were those of strong love but even stronger regret. Everything pounded in you as the nightmares played, coming in a weird kaleidoscope of clips. The hurt you felt was overwhelming. But there was also just so much… Worry. Fear. Your soulmate was afraid. Afraid of what exactly, you didn’t know, but he was consumed.
You woke up in the early morning hours, heart pounding, feeling raw from that nightmare. Everything felt powerful like the final straw was snapped in you. You needed stuff to lessen and, supposedly, that could come with actually meeting your soulmate. You didn’t know the logistics of it all, people had been so vague as they preferred to fawn over and treasure the initial dreams, but there were ideas out there about how once soulmates formally met they created new shared dreams. Together, through the connection. These could be just as bad or they could be just as good as the original telepath. No matter the fact, you needed something. You were begging for this pull to loosen. The world was setting you up with this man and you had to see about it. Maybe get some kind of closure, at least. You were exhausted from playing it safe with Steve. Everything from his dumbass vague phrases to his hovering gaze gave you your answers.
You were once again a woman on a mission, but this time you couldn’t hide behind a coffee counter and brewing espresso.
You called out of work but showed up at opening time. Your coworker stared at you in surprise when the bell rang but you just gave her a wave and made yourself comfortable at a table right by the door. You sat very still, staring at the glass door, watching the patrons.
A glance at the clock told you Steve was late for his usual coffee run but you weren’t giving in. If he had any inkling about your confusion he would show, be the confident man he could be and face you.
Thankfully, you were correct. It was mid-morning by the time Steve strolled in, definitely not surprised to see you patiently waiting. Your eyes locked immediately as he gave a defiant sigh. But he didn’t bypass you for the counter. Instead, after you gave a single nod, he sat at the table, directly across from you.
“Good morning,” Steve greeted you but he lacked that award-winning smile he always gave with it.
“Good morning,” you said, suddenly feeling iffy under his gaze. You had to practically shake yourself out of it to get back on track. You weren’t backing out, not after what you had felt last night. This would consume you after so many years. Your soulmate was going to consume you if you didn’t man up. “I think we need to talk.”
Steve nodded. “I agree.”
You sighed, a bit relieved. He possibly did know, your suspicions were confirmed. “These nightmares I have - they’re about-,”
“Bucky,” Steve answered so simply, you were almost jealous by how the name rolled off his tongue with ease. That was your soulmate and you could barely talk about him. But that was ending, you reminded yourself. Right now, you were taking steps. Life had become a whirlwind but maybe you needed it.
“Yes,” you confirmed. “Everything I see it’s from his days as… you know what.”
“The Winter Soldier.”
You groaned in annoyance with yourself. “I’m sorry, this is just so weird for me,” you said. “I just learned the other day him and I are… And it’s a lot. Everything is a lot. I see and feel so much in the nightmares that I needed to make progress or something but, truthfully, I don’t know how to go about any of this.”
Steve nodded, his eyes looking very sympathetic. He leaned forward, his arms now resting on the surface. You shifted in your seat, staring down at the wood patterns of the table. Steve didn’t seem to mind the lack of eye contact, though, as he began.
“I’ve known about you for a while,” Steve admitted. “When Bucky began getting back to himself he would talk about you every now and then. I-I don’t know when he realized it but he’d tell me bits of what he thought you looked like, where you went to school, the coffee shop you were always in… And, well, it didn’t take long for me to realize it was you he was seeing in dreams. But he doesn’t know that I see you nearly every day,” Steve let out a light chuckle, almost in disbelief of himself. “And he certainly doesn’t know the dreams he’s relaying to you. I don’t think he’s ever thought about it, honestly.”
Your heart jumped knowing your soulmate actually knew about you. Saw you. Got the loveliest dreams about you. It made you feel pretty good, really. You were glad you were giving him something light, relaxing, after everything he had seen. Maybe that was a fair trade. As long as your soulmate was okay.
“He doesn’t know I see all those… Things?” You asked, your voice dropping a bit timidly.
Steve sighed, shaking his head. “If I had to guess, it would have something to do with the fact that he’s remembering everything,” he said. “Everything he had done, the people and violence… All that comes back to him. He’s said he remembers it all. That’s probably the feelings you’re getting with the nightmares - him handling the aftermath.”
Your heart dropped at that. You lifted your gaze to meet Steve’s, seeing he was wearing a similar mix of sadness and worry. It was still strange to feel this ache when you were awake.
But you understood, at least, as much as you could. It sounded like there was some healing going on, with everything coming in waves. Did you like that you had to suffer because of it? No. But that was your soulmate and a deep part of you wanted to just take all that pain away for him personally.
“It’s not fair he has to deal with all this,” you said.
Steve agreed, “It’s not.”
“But I want to help,” you spoke with such sudden determination. Steve gave you a confused look. “Would he… Would he want to meet me?”
That look of surprise on him suddenly morphed into some form of relief, with a bit of a smirk playing on Steve’s lips.
“I think I could arrange that.”
“R-Really?” Your hands were practically shaking at this point but Steve seemed too cool and collected, almost proud of the situation he was concocting.
“If I’m being honest, he mentions something about you nearly every other day.”
Your jaw went slack, now making you the surprised one. “But you knew who I was. Why didn’t you just tell him?”
“Would you have honestly been comfortable if I just sent him in here?”
Well, he had you there. You sighed, shaking your head, sinking a bit in your seat.
“Yeah, he wouldn’t either,” Steve mumbled. “But it’ll be okay. I’ll figure out something.”
You nodded, maybe a bit too eager. “Thank you.”
Steve gave a small smile then averted his gaze to the table as if debating what to say next. You thought the conversation had wrapped up nicely but there was another thing you didn’t expect to hear about.
“You know,” Steve began, “back in the day, Buck never had any dreams and while now we know why,” he motioned towards you. You blushed. “We had just figured he didn’t have a soulmate or something. Like the world had just happened to screw up…” His voice trailed, letting out a brief sigh. “I can’t imagine his relief when he got the first images of you.”
Your heart swelled. It took everything in you not to choke out sobs. The feeling of hope and… love suddenly wash over you. It was such a distant feeling but it was all coming. Slowly, it was becoming an acquaintance.
“Do you have a soulmate, Steve?”
He nodded. “I did.” You frowned at the past-tense use of the word. “But that time has come and gone. I’m more than happy to help Bucky get his.”
The lovely feelings crept back, stronger than ever. Just the thought of being in the same area as your soulmate was making it bloom even more.
Bucky Barnes Series Taglist:
@reichelhache @bella-bear03 @rvgrsbrns @thebadassbitchqueen @libraries-and-coffee @adoringanakin @heartbeats-wildly @japzalileo @aayaissaa @takemedancingmaine @bahama-mama-llama @ella_italian
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I Hear a Symphony
Bucky Barnes x Reader, Natasha x Platonic!Reader
Summary: In a world full of soulmates, you had lost hope. No one had ever had the tell you did, but you should never give up hope.
Trigger Warnings: mentions of a knife, bleeding, slight mention of Bucky with HYDRA, little bit of kissing.
Word count: 2,343
A/N: Idk how good this is, I'm actually really nervous. But here you go, love y'all ♡
Some people have their soulmate's name written in their soulmate's handwriting, others have the distance their soulmate is from them on their wrist. There are those who don’t see color until they meet their soulmate, it was different for most people. For you it was music, though it was special. One of your friends Karlee had heard whatever music her soulmate was listening to. But you simply heard a piano playing quietly, it was everlasting. When you were younger you loved how it sounded and it never stopped, it was like your own personal soundtrack. But as you got older it just upset you. Never having met or heard of anyone with the soulmate tell like yours took away your hope. Maybe you were just crazy.
“Not everyone finds their soulmate right away, it’s okay to not know yet Y/N.” Karlee had reminded you. Though she was holding hands with her soulmate, Fred, across from you.
“Well Karlee it is kind of annoying to see so many people getting their soulmates. I just want to love someone. I just want someone to love me. Okay?” You say exasperated.
It was tiring to hear people tell you to keep your chin up, telling you that you’ll find them one someday. Because that day could be years from now, at this rate you wouldn’t be surprised if you had never met your soulmate.
“Y/N, I know that you are hurting but your time wi-”
“Fred, you have no say in this. You are not, NOT my friend.” Your voice becomes increasingly louder.
“But you have also already found your soulmate. You get to be with her the rest of your life, and you both get to love each other. I- I don’t get that, there is literally no one in history who has ever had a constant stream of music in their head. I, as far as I know it, will be alone, because who in the whole wide world would have a song playing in their head repeat. And we have no idea what happens when I meet my soulmate! Maybe it just gets louder.” Tears had been welling in your eyes as your voice grew hoarse from yelling. “You know what.. I’m sorry I have to go.”
Grabbing your bag you walk out the door to your apartment to wallow in pity yet again. Pulling out your phone you dialed one of the people you trusted most.
“Hey Y/N/N!” the voice rang through the phone.
“Can I come over, I know I'm not a superhero. And I probably shouldn’t be there but I need you.” you sniffled already heading in that direction.
“Of course, I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
All his life he had heard a simple strand of keys being played on piano. It was soothing when his nerves were high, being in the war was tough on him. But it was never something he was used to, beautiful but different. He was grateful to have it when things were tough, because he had imagined his soulmate playing it to him. He had imagined it playing in the background as him and his soulmate walked in holding a small white kitten. One day standing over a bassinet. But all of that was erased once HYDRA got a hold of him. Every single thing he had wanted to do with his soulmate, gone. He lost it all, the only thing that stayed was the music. But it annoyed him now because he didn’t know why it was there or how to get it to stop.
After being sent to Wakanda Bucky found himself wondering why the music was playing in his head.
“Shuri, why do I hear music?” he asked calmly, but Shuri turned around looking as if he had asked where his arm went.
“It is how you will find your soulmate I guess. What is she playing?” stepping closer to him.
“Um it’s just piano, that’s all it’s ever been.”
“Is it consistent? Like the same song forever?” her eyebrows furrowing.
“Is that bad?”
“No not necessarily, I have just never heard of someone who had a tell like that.”
“Tell? A tell for what. His heart sped up with every moment of silence.
“For your soulmate” her voice drifting off in confusion. It was quiet for the rest of the preparation. All Bucky could think about was his soulmate.
Would she like him? Would she hate him for all that he had done? Was she even alive? Had he already met his soulmate before and forgotten her? Going into the chamber he took a deep breath, imagining what his soulmate was like.
Natasha wraps her arms around me tightly, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the elevator.
“There’s no need for an introduction right now.” she muttered avoiding the living room. As you both arrive at her door you hear something from the room beside hers. Seeing your scrunched up face, she provides an answer. “We have a new… member.”
You spend the evening in her room talking about how much you really do love your music. It just hurts you to have to hear it but not know where your soulmate is.
“Have you tried learning the song?” she said before putting a spoonful of italian ice in her mouth. This is something you hadn’t even admitted to her yet.
“Yes, I’ve been trying to write something to compliment it.” She shot up from her spot grabbing your hand, barely giving you time to stand up. “Where are we going?”
“We have a piano here.” leaving no room for discussion. Seating you down on the bench she opens the piano, gesturing for you to play.
“I- I don’t have my music with me.” you tried to deflect. But she and you both knew you already had it memorized. Huffing you place your hands on the keys, trying to pick out where the song was.
Soon enough your fingers were drifting across the keys as if you had been playing your whole life.
“This is what it sounds like.” you begin to play the tune you had heard since the very beginning. It started out kind of quiet and low, but then it became somber, as if something had gone wrong. Almost as if it was telling a story.
You hadn’t known that the sound would travel all the way upstairs, past the rooms of fellow superheroes all the way to a certain sergeants room. Who was currently laying on his bed trying to avoid sleep.
Bucky hadn’t slept well since HYDRA, he had never wanted to be around people by choice. But since learning he had a soulmate he wanted to line up everyone in the world and go down the line until he found the one. That was when he heard the music drifting throughout the compound, it was fairly quiet and hard to hear but beautiful. Then he heard his song. The only song that had ever mattered all his life. Something inside of him flipped like a light switch he saw flashes of things from before the war. He had heard it playing in the background as him and his soulmate walked in holding a small white kitten. Tears began welling in his eyes, jumping up from bed he scrambled around looking for paper and pen. Rushing to scribble it down so he couldn’t forget it this time.
It had been a week since you had been to the compound. Natasha had invited you to come around again, but this time for a more introductory meeting of the rest of the team. You and Natasha had met one night bonding over your exotic (for you) conversation starter; it was something about your choice of weapon. You both had drawn closer to each other after sharing stories, neither one of you had a very pretty history but that made the relationship that much more special.
“Are you sure about this? I mean they are a bunch of superheroes and well I am me.” You huffed as she dragged you inside.
“Yes. I am positive, they are all immature anyways. Except for Wanda, you’ll love Wanda.” turning to look at you as she continued to tug at your still figure. “Come on, you know I can throw you over my shoulder and just carry you up there. But I would rather you meet them mostly willingly.” you had never heard her whine before. Yet here she was whining, practically begging you to meet her family.
“Fine, but I get to spend the night again.”
You had decided that you liked Captain America; though he asked you to call him Steve, Sam, Dr. Banner who you saw for only a second in his passing. As well as Clint, though you had known him previously. And Wanda, who seemed to be aware of your arrival and predicament before you even said hello. You suspected Nat had talked to her about you before, but Wanda could read minds so who knew. According to Nat there was still more to the team, but they were out and about, Tony said the others weren’t as fun so you weren’t missing out.
With every note that crossed his mind, he threw another punch harder than the last. He couldn’t tell if he was angry, sad, or both. What if his soulmate was someone from the 40’s, and now he couldn’t have a life with them? Does that mean that she possibly already lived a whole life with someone else? Will he be truly alone? With that thought his hits faltered. Feeling his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach he stepped back. It felt almost like a knife had been stuck in his stomach and someone was twisting it round and round, everytime he thought about it. Being alone, he had been alone before, mind controlled. But the thought that his soulmate was out there was enough to keep him going. The thought that you had already had a life without him and would be dying soon had stopped the Winter Soldier's heart.
Unwrapping his hands he started downing his water, as if that was supposed to stop the heartbreak. Walking quickly down the hall towards his room he has complete disregard for the voice coming down the hall the intersects. Crashing into someone he loses his balance before grabbing the person's hand steadying them. Mumbling a quick apology he was brushing past the group of people back to his room.
You had been chatting with the girls on the way back to Nat’s room when you were bumped into by a rather big man. But that wasn’t what caught you off guard. It was the way your head was now buzzing with music, the sound of the piano was joined by cello. Something you had never heard before.
“Y/N?” Wanda asked concerned, gently grabbing your elbow. “Are you alright?” you simply shake your head, unsure if you are okay.
Wanda and Natasha had filled you in on all the drama and stupid things the other team mates had done. You had laughed along and joked around but your mind was still wrapped around the cello playing and the man in the hall. At some point the girls had fallen asleep so you slipped out of the room tip toeing your way to the stairs, you had entered one of the rooms. The piano you had sat before hadn’t been touched since last week, the tops for the keys still raised. You silently cursed yourself, that was no way to treat a piano.
Sitting down you let your fingers begin to strum, fumbling every once in a while trying to keep up with the newer pace of music, as well as the slight change in the tune. You had heard the door open behind you but ignored it thinking it was Nat or Wanda. But you were greatly mistaken.
“That sounds beautiful.” the person's deep voice filled the room. Your seat dipped a bit as the person sat next to you. Being startled you stopped playing, pulling your hands away. “Don’t let me stop you.” For some reason you had yet to look up at the stranger, though you felt no need to. Placing your fingers back over the keys, you lightly played your song. Then you heard one of the most delightful sounds. His laugh, well more like chuckle.
Turning to look at him you were met with a pair of irresistible blue eyes. Your heart felt as though it was melting, pouring out of your chest all over the keys. He laid his forehead against yours, closing your eyes you heard the music get louder. More prominent. And quite suddenly it was as if a symphony was going off in your mind.
All of your life you have watched people meet their soulmates, you say the way their faces lit up with joy and love. You had seen couples embracing each other in such a way that made you wonder if they would die without the other. Wondering if you would ever be able to experience the same things. Now here you are, tears spilling out of your eyes as your fingers glide across the keys, your soulmates hands holding your cheeks.
“It’s you.” he managed. You couldn’t even say anything, though shaking your head seemed to mundane for such a revelation. Pulling your hands away from the piano you grab hold of his wrists while raising your head the slightest to push your lips against his softly.
Though Bucky knew he was broken in every way possible he felt completely whole in this moment. Seeing everything flashing in front of his eyes again, his life he wanted with you. He had lost so much, been gone for so long. And here you were playing your song, his song. He had found the one thing worth living for.
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Bucky x F!Reader Part1/?
Summary: When you turn 18 you get the name of a song on your wrist. That is the song you and your soulmate share. It is also how you can communicate with them.
Warnings: Lots of fluff, brief mentions of death, therapy, implied winter soldier, anxiety (bucky and reader)
Word Count: 1,543
A/N: So I was listening to a song that reminded me of Bucky when I thought of this idea if you know of someone who thought of it first just lmk. I’m probably going to make this a series. Master list will hopefully be up soon. As with any of my work unedited. All my own original work. (All Rights Reserved) Gif not my own.
At age 18 everyone was blessed with the ability to see the song their soulmate shared. So when you turn 18 on August 5th you were more than excited. You couldn’t wait till you found the one. You currently had a boyfriend Killian. His name was harsh but he wasn’t if anything he was the perfect boyfriend. Telling you no matter what you and he would stay together because he loved you. So when yours and his songs didn’t match up your heart broke a little bit. You could’ve sworn that Killian was the one for you. He had gotten He’s a Pirate by Klaus Badeit and you got It’s Been a Long, Long Time by Harry James you wondered if the universe could screw up. I mean you and Killian might have been meant to be. He stayed with you even though you both knew that he wasn't happy. So you finally decided to let him go. Let him find his soulmate. It was just your luck that he was your best friend's soulmate. That night you decided it was time for you to try to meet your soulmate. So you played the song. The pleasant melody lulling you to a soft slumber. You could feel your body falling. Soon you the falling feeling stop and you open your eyes. You were in a dimly lit room. The decor seems to be a 1940s aesthetic. You found comfort in it. It seemed homely. A simple fridge in the corner curtain blocking the natural light coming from the window above the sink. You called out "Hello sorry it took so long to come."
There was no reply. Maybe he hadn't had his 18th birthday yet. That was always a possibility. So you waited. Every night for about 2 years you would try and contact him. You had started believing that you didn't have a soulmate. But then how could you have a song on your arm. Then a chilling thought came to your mind. Maybe he was in a relationship and didn't want to be with you. No, he was your soulmate how could he not want to be with you. You and he were destined to be together. It didn't matter you hadn't needed a man before to make you happy so why should you now. Eventually, you just stopped trying. Stopped wondering if your soulmate was out there. You had given up. If he wanted to know you he would have reached out by now.
Buckys life had not been all sunshine and daisies like he had planned. He had planned to find his soulmate go fight in the war and return to you. That dream was crushed when he realized he didn't have a soulmate. He tried the night of his 18 birthday and months after that. Either you didn't turn 18 for another year or to or you didn't exist. Looking back on it now he was happy that he never found you. He couldn't believe the heartache that you would face if you had found out he had died or if you had found out what he had done. "James," Dr.Raynor's voice cutting through his haze. "James the point of these sessions is to talk out your problems. What's been on your mind?"
He looks down to where he poorly hid the letter etched on his skin.
"Your thinking about her. Aren't you? Why don't you try contacting her?"
"Because what kind of soulmate would I be if one day I show up and say hey so I am alive I do exist but we can't be together cause I killed a bunch of people?"
"Why don't you let her decide that? Why are you taking away her right to know that she at least has a soulmate? What's stopping you from trying?"
Her words made sense but you couldn't let her know that they did. Maybe he did owe it to you that he shows up at least once. So he did. He turned on It’s Been a Long, Long Time by Harry James and began drifting off into peace. The familiar feeling of failing is greeted by the scent of his old home. For some reason, he always ended up here. He calls out "Hello" to his surprise someone responds.
"Hello," an uncertain voice speaks out. His voice is angelic.
"Hey," you step into the natural light. Hoping that maybe he will too.
"Wow, you are even prettier than I could ever imagine." You giggle a little bit.
"You must have been picturing a toad cause that's the only way I would be prettier than you imagined."
"Oh no, I was definitely picturing an angel." He said stepping into the light. He steps with caution as if any moment could be his last. You had seen this before in your father. When he came back from the war. Other than the obvious caution in his step he was quite handsome. He had a little bit of stubble which you didn't mind. His piercing blue eyes made you feel safe. He was all you dreamed of when you thought of the perfect man. HE had a leather jacket and gloves on. A pair of jeans cover his legs while he wears military-style boots. Giving you further evidence he is a vetran.
"Well, you yourself are quite handsome." His features softened. You maybe even saw a small smile.
"I'm sorry it took so long for us to meet. I just don't believe I deserve love after all I have done. So I came here to show you that I exist but I should be leaving."
"Wait-" you cried out before he vanished. Tears stream down your face. As the song ends you are pulled out of the dream.
The next morning you wake up clutching a pillow. Your cheeks were tear-stained. Had last night really happened? You had met your soulmate and he left all in one night. All you wanted was to be in his arms. You had to find him. To show him that he does indeed deserve love.
He had met you. Like Dr.Raynor suggested but when he saw how beautiful how innocent you were he could let him corrupt you. His heart broke when you called out to him but he couldn't let that get to him. How could he expect you to deal with him let alone love him with the fact that he had killed so many people? You deserved better but his heart and entire body betrayed him. His body was betraying him. He wanted to feel your touch on his skin. To heal all your wounds the ones he had caused and the ones others have caused.
"How did it go?" Dr. Raynor asked
"It went amazing doc. I told her she was better than I could've imagined she told me I was handsome and then I left her there. I left here there to deal with the pain alone. I hurt her like I like hurt everyone else. So maybe your little plan to unite u to helo me didn't work."
"James you have to open up to someone if not your soulmate sam or I find someone because one day you are going to find a challenge you can face alone and you are going to get yourself seriously hurt."
That rung true but he already hurt you would you be there tonight. He hoped you would be. Maybe he could right this wrong before he made it worse.
You wanted to try again tonight. Try and contact him again against all of your friend's opinions but you had to find him. He was your soulmate. It didn't matter how many times he hurt you. You would always go back. So you put on the song on repeat and felt the feeling of falling. Allowing yourself to feel welcome in the kitchen you always seemed to find yourself in. You walked into the light first and called out "Hello. Listen I know last night you said I deserved better but I don't want better. I want y-"
You were cut off before you could finish "Listen what I said last night I meant. I am not a good guy. I can't explain this feeling. I can't explain the way when I am with you I feel safe. So I am sorry for what I said yesterday but I was hoping we could just meet here for now. I know it may not be what you want but it's all I can handle right now."
"Yes. Please yes, I will take whatever you are offering." You reach out to touch him. He flinches a bit but lets you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and interlaced your fingers hoping he gets the hint you want to dance. He does He carefully wraps his arms around your waist. He is wearing the same outfit as the first time you met him. You didn't mind your mindless start dancing in the kitchen. It's about 2 or 3 minutes later you realize you are now dancing by yourself. You laugh a little at the fact that you were dancing alone. When you pull yourself out of reality.
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Warning: language, major character death, violence, angst
Word count: 3.4k
Summary: Soulmate AU where the last words you will ever hear from your soulmate is written on your wrist so you won't know it's them until you've lost them.
Staring at the words on your wrist, you held back another sigh, tracing the black ink with your finger, dread and sadness washing over you. You shuddered at the words, unable to rid of the lump in your throat.
Born with the words on your wrist, no one knew when they would meet their soulmates, unknown to who your other half was until they died. It was cruel, knowing the last thing they'll say to you would cause you immense pain. Horror stories stemmed from the agonies of other's pain, movies made out of the tales that would become famous.
Some, those who were protective of their hearts, buried themselves away from others, but fate always led them to their soulmate. No matter how short the time would be stretching from the duration of your life to a single second before you'd lose them. The best outcome to happen was when two lovers let go, and spend their lives together, to die at when they were to, finding out they had spent their lives with their one and only. That possibility was becoming more and more realistic with modern technology and wishful thinking.
Yet, there was some tragedies. The unfortunate ones would have their sentences written on their wrist, knowing they'd only know their soulmate for a short time, or not at all. “It's nice to meet you.” "What's your name?" "Can I get your number?" "Sounds like a date." Not knowing them at all was, to most, was worse than to know them at all.
A few rare situations when your soulmate would die young. Parents told horror stories, reading the words off their kid's wrist. "We're playing dodgeball in gym!" "I didn't do my math homework." "You can come to my birthday party. I'm turning seven next week!"
Then there were the most terrifying stories. They were the ones turned into thrillers, a real life story turned into a disrespectful horror movie. They'd lose each other, aware there was nothing they could do. "I thought you locked the door." "I don't think we're alone." "Behind you!" "Someone's in the house."
Thankful none of the situations applied to you, you still couldn't get the words branded in your wrist out of your head. It lingered, whispering the last words before your heart would be torn, only healed when death came for you. Some looked on the positive side, knowing meeting their soulmate was inevitable.
Natasha broke you out of your reverie as she tackled you down on the mat, leaving you breathless at the sudden attack, confused to how you've become acquaintances with the ground. You spit your hair out, grimacing in disgust as a few strays stuck to your lips. With your hands tied behind your back, and crushed against the former assassin's body, you turned your attention on her smug smile, glaring daggers.
"Okay, get off before Tony pictures us scissoring again." you grunted, too tired to push her off of you. Natasha laughed, letting your wrists go as she shifted her weight off of you, sitting next to you on the thick mat. You rolled onto your back, closing your eyes in exhaustion. "That was unnecessary, Nat."
Spending the day at the gym with Natasha seemed like a good idea after being beaten by Clint the day before. You knew you were getting rusty, without all the life threatening missions and people to save, your skills wasn't needed. Besides, you loved yourself too much for Steve to convince you to join him on his suicide runs. He woke up before the sun rose, and it only took a few runs to realize that even you couldn't keep up with his fast pace. ("Although, I would love to see his fast pace in the bedroom. Ow, Sam!")
After tying the score—despite the lack of training, you and Natasha still tied when it came to hand to hand combat—you had sat down on the bench, which was now sweaty, and sulked, sighing over the words written on your wrist.
Natasha rolled her eyes, leaning on her elbows as she eyed your expression, eyes narrowing when you didn't return her smile. "What's with the sad face? Are you thinking about your soulmate mark again?"
"You know I only allow myself to think about it once every other month." you replied. Natasha made a noise in respond but you ignored it. "Shut up, I know I'm pathetic. No need to voice your opinions."
"You're not pathetic, just compassionate." she whispered, her eyes sparkling with remembrance. Natasha had lost her soulmate on a mission a few years before the Avengers were formed, but it didn't stop her from living her life. You hoped you could follow her path when the horrid time came. "Out of curiosity, if you had to guess, do you think you've met your soulmate by now?"
You've given it much thought, coming up with a good theory that even Tony Stark would be impressed by. Of course, you didn't share it with anyone, giving Nat the simplified version of it. "With the amount of people I've met, I like to think so."
The playful smirk returned to her lips, a wiggle of her eyebrows as she digested your words. "And do you think a certain blond, big-hearted, super soldier might be it?"
You reached for the nearest water bottle, throwing it at her only to have it hit the wall behind her as she dodged it. Natasha laughed, putting distance between you, sensing an attack. You scowled at her but it lacked real annoyance. "Oh my, God. I have, like, the smallest crush on him and you're already planning our children's proms."
"I'm thinking: under the sea." Natasha joked, grinning when the corner of your lips curled up. The both of you burst out laughing, thinking about Natasha in a ridiculous kid-friendly dress as she chaperoned yours and Steve's future offsprings.
As if summoned, Steve chose that moment to enter the training room, freezing in his tracks when he saw you and Natasha cackling. His expression made Natasha double back into another round of laughter while yours subsided in giggles. Steve cleared his throat, looking down as a slight blush decorated his face.
He murmured your name, walking up towards you, his blue eyes eyeing the ground with too much interest. "Did you hear about the party Tony is making all of us go to?"
Natasha stopped laughing immediately, jaw clenching at Tony's betrayal. They had a truce where Natasha would stop hacking into his system to play Spice Girls—with the help of Bruce, of course—and Tony was to stop throwing parties every month. It's been three months since the last party, the one where Natasha has almost killed the billionaire. Tony couldn't hold off any longer. She stood. "I'm going to kill him."
Before either of you could get a word in, Natasha was already out the door, her stance deadly as Tony Stark awaited his death. The door slammed close behind her as Steve sat down beside you on the mat, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
You admired his ruffled hair, blond strands hanging down on his forehead. You had mentioned to him that he looked sexier with his long hair, and it seemed like he was following your advice. Dressed in a simple black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, Steve Rogers was every girl's waking fantasy. It truly was unfair how good he could look in sweats.
"Hey." you greeted, smiling sweetly at him. Being happy around Steve was as easy as giving Pepper Potts presents. He returned the smile, grinning from ear to ear as he looked away, his cheeks reddening even more. "What can I do for you, Stevie?"
"Thor wanted to have some kind of Asgardian contest that may or may not level the top floor. I thought you might want to do something else, have a peaceful night instead of risking our lives to one of Thor's games?" he asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Not letting excitement cloud your senses, you grew cautious, eyes narrowing as you looked around the room, trying to search for a hidden camera that would allow Tony to get you back from ruining his thousand-dollar crocs. Steve Rogers was not asking you out in no way.
Steve saw your expression, quickly backing off. "Only if you want to. I'm sure you missed Thor and all. It's okay, I can suffer a few third degree burns—"
"No!" you shouted, making Steve flinch at the suddenness. You cleared your throat, cheeks heating up. "Uh, I mean, yeah. I wouldn't mind missing the party. Where did you plan on going?"
Slightly surprised, a smile crept on his lips. He ran a hand across his face to hide the cheeky grin. "Wherever you want to go."
You threw him a smile, unhealthily giddy. If Clint were here to comment, he'd compare you to a happy school girl with a massive crush. "Oh. Okay."
A voice interrupted the short silence, scaring both you and Steve. You suspected the AI, Friday, had been invested in your conversation. "If I may make a suggestion, I advise you both to leave sometime in the next hour before Mr. Stark ropes you in. I'm inclined to think Mr. Stark won't be above blackmail."
"Thank you, Friday." you murmured. The AI said it's goodbye, far too amused for your liking.
Steve got up, offering his hand for you. Both of you were smiling like idiots, cheeks hurting from the too-big smiles that adorned your faces. You had a suspicion you somewhat embodied a clown. The super-solider kept his hand wrapped around yours. "Would you like to leave at this moment, or get changed?"
You shook your head, liking the warmth of his touch. "I'm good. Let's leave."
Steve Rogers was a gentleman, that was confirmed by his acts and the influence of being raised right. Despite that fact, he was a savage in the bedroom. Or half the time, out of the bedroom. You had been surprised, yet pleased, when you fell into his bed halfway through the second unofficial date. After that night, Steve finally built the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend—a term he found silly but otherwise a happy milestone.
After years of being friends, Steve was ready to begin the rest of your lives together. No one was surprised, besides you, that he had proposed three months after the first official date. Being head over heels, you excitedly agreed, only to blanch when Tony started a petition to let him plan the wedding with you. Pepper had stopped him.
No one knew what happened the night of Thor's and Tony's party. Though, Steve made a smart choice to ditch it when you both found a floor of the tower littered with blackened metals and slightly burnt walls. The team wouldn't speak of the incident, not that neither you or Steve cared. You had both been too jubilant to interrogate them.
The wedding day came. Steve had been stopped by Thor, failing to sneak into the room you were in. No matter how strong he was, Thor wouldn't allow any bad luck to happen especially after you had lied to him about naming your firstborn after him. Steve tried, and failed, to tell him you weren't going to name his son after the God of Thunder. Bucky was too busy arguing with Sam about the flower decoration to help out Thor.
Dressed in the lavender bridesmaid dress, Natasha burst into the room, a smile adorning her face. She had thanked you multiple times for not dressing her in those ugly dresses she had seen on Pinterest. "You getting cold feet yet?"
"Mine are toasty warm." you mumbled, hands trembling at the thought of declaring your love in front of a crowd. You wondered if it was too late to get ear plugs so no one would hear all the gooey, cheesy vows you would utter to Steve.
"Very convincing." Natasha teased, taking a shot of the wine laid out on the table. Placing the flute down, she eyed the door, prepared to attack Steve if he managed to get away from Thor. "Alright, what're you worried about?"
You bit your lip, messing up the fresh layer of lip gloss Pepper had put on. Glancing out the window, you saw the crowd settling down in there chairs. The anxiety built up inside you. "Um, falling down the aisle. Accidentally saying the wrong name. Messing up in my vows. Dying of embarrassment."
"You'll be great, I promise. No one's going to die. You won't trip because Tony wouldn't let you. You won't say the wrong name because Steve's is practically implanted in your brain and you'll be too busy staring into his ocean blue eyes that you won't mess up. Now, are you still worried?" she asked, laughing when you managed to trip over your wedding dress.
"If anything, Tony's going to purposely trip me." you muttered, tempted to take a swig of some liquid courage, but the fetus in you held you back. The ceremony would start soon, and being too nervous, you hadn't eaten any breakfast. It was probably a good thing considering the nausea you were feeling. Why call it morning sickness when it didn't happen in the morning?
"You're being paranoid, everything will be great." she sighed, turning to the window, staring directly at the green hybrid. The Bruce and Natasha thing was unsurprising but kind of weird, especially with the whole sex thing. You had gagged at the thought of Bruce trying to fit inside of Natasha, and stopped altogether. "I'll be right back, I gotta do something."
She left the room before you could address her, groaning when she left a tiny crack in the door. Natasha knew how much it annoyed you when people left the door open when you originally had it closed. Heaving a sigh, you went to close the door, only to be met by a small force. Steve stuck his head through opening, his worried frown turning into a dazzling grin as he spotted you.
Without a word, he took you in his arms, his hand cupping your cheek as he pressed a quick kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, closing the door behind him as your arms wrapped around his neck.
You pulled away, wiping the lip gloss smeared across his lips. Steve did the same, smirking at his handy work. "Hello, Mrs. Rogers. How do you feel?"
"Like I want to tangle myself around you in every way possible." you whispered, pressing another kiss to his lips. Steve chuckled, his thumb drawing small circles on your back. "How about you, Husband?"
"I've been waiting for this day for a very long time. You can't imagine how jovial I am." said Steve. He gave your nose a quick peck, and you giggled. "I know it's suppose to be bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony but I couldn't bear it."
Giggling, you pulled him closer, your lips meeting his neck as you sucked softly at the sensitive skin. "Hmm, I can't wait until I'm officially yours. Do you think we have time for a quickie? It'd really help with my wedding nerves."
Steve laughed, but the sound came out a little breathless. Even with the thickness of the wedding gown, you could feel him on your hip, smirking when he shifted. "While that's a very tempting offer, both Natasha and Pepper would kill me for ripping apart this beautiful dress."
"But Steve—" your whine was cut off by Natasha pulling Steve out of your arms.
The redhead glared at him, pushing him towards the opened door. "You, out, now."
"I'll see you—" Steve began to say, only to be cut off when the door slammed in his face. Natasha turned to turn her death stare on you.
"Look at your makeup. I can't believe he snuck in here with Thor on his ass." Natasha complained, pushing you towards the vanity, quickly applying the tube of lip gloss on your lips. You blinked back the tears as she practically poke your eye with the mascara wand, trying to fix Steve's touch on your slightly smeared mascara. "You look like you're going to puke."
You shook your head, taking a deep breath. "I'm good. Where's Tony?"
"Right here." he answered, entering with a velvet box in his hand. The billionaire set it down on the vanity before eyeing your stance. "Wow, you look ..."
"Like I'm gonna throw up all over Steve's suit?" you finished, panic rising.
"I was going to say gorgeous but now that you mention it, you do look a little green." he teased, earning himself a nudge from Natasha. Tony rubbed his ribs. "If you want to ditch, I have the car running in case you want to make a quick getaway."
You rolled your eyes, wishing you hadn't let him talk you into such a big wedding. All you wished at the moment was to take Steve with you and elope. "Thanks for the offer but I'm good. Let's get this over with."
"And here I thought you weren't romantic." Tony joked, handing you the bouquet of flowers.
Natasha checked her watch, the music audible. Morgan, the flower girl was already walking down the aisle along with Pepper's nephew on her heels. The former assassin opened the door, grinning. "Wait a few seconds before you follow me."
And with that, she walked down the short hall before stepping outside, the aisle was cleared by flowers adorning the sides. Weeping willow branches hung down from the huge tree, creating an illusion of fantasy, the little arch at the end of the aisle was created of leaves and even more colorful flowers. You were surprised no one was sneezing with the amount of pollen.
You took Tony's arm, taking another deep breath. Looking at him, you swore he was a bit proud. He smiled at you. "I hope you know I take full credit for the union of your two souls."
Ignoring his mini jab, you raised an eyebrow. "And how so?"
"There was never a party." he informed, grinning cheekily. He pulled you towards the opened door, walking down the hall. "I made it all up so Rogers would get the balls to finally ask you out."
"Then what the hell happened to the tower?" you asked, confused. People were beginning to stand but your curiosity became more important than your nerves.
Tony winked. "That's for me to know, and for you to dot dot dot."
"God, you're such a nerd." you mumbled, turning your attention ahead as your feet hit the white carpet that moonlighted as the aisle. The nerves began to bubble, and you gripped his arm tighter in fear of falling face first.
The ceremony was a blur, Steve just as nervous as you had been, becoming more and more braver as he spoke his vows. By the end of it, you could barely see him through the tears brimming your eyes. If it wasn't for the waterproof makeup, you were sure you would've cried your face off.
You had just finished your vows when the priest had asked if you would gladly wed the man in front of you for the rest of forever. You whispered a soft "I do."
The priest turned to Steve, the super-soldier happy beyond belief. He asked him the previous question he had asked you. Yet, Steve, being eager, had almost cut him off near the end.
His eyes bored into yours, filled with love and warmth. "I do."
Then everything turned black.
You awoke in the Medbay, needles puncturing your arm, a tube tied to your nose. Every single inch of your skin hurt, your eyelids heavy as you opened your eyes, only to close them once again when the bright fluorescents shone. You felt someone squeeze your hand, a finger brushing along your wrist.
Turning your head, you glance at the person, finding out it was Tony. While he was relieved you were awake, something in his eyes made you believe he wished he had more time to prepare you for the worst. At the moment he uttered those words, you wished your ears had been damaged in whatever hell Hydra had dropped on your wedding.
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Summary: Soulmate!AU where everyone is born with numbers indicating their soulmates birth date tattooed on their wrist
Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Reader; Steve Rogers x Reader
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In This Life and the Next
Chapter 1: It was Asleep in the Veins
Summary: They remember, but you forget. You can run from the ties that bind, but it'll be right into their arms.
Pairings: Reader x Helmut Zemo & Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes
Reader is Desi and Muslim Coded on Occasion
Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT; Rape/Non-Con Elements; Deeply, Deeply Dark; Character Death Involved; Dubious Consent; Dark!Steve; Dark!Bucky; Dark!Zemo; Political/Mafia Elements; Obsessive/Manipulative Lovers; Workplace Sexual Harassment/Assault; Political Corruption; Pleasepleaseplease read at your own discretion
Notes: Sometimes my writing has a playlist and this time it just has a song, please enjoy Lahu Munh Lag Gaya while reading this. This is a fic that is going to be dark and as it develops, more warnings may be added. Please read at your own discretion and let me know if more things need to be tagged.
What is pride, but the precedent before the fall?
How far will you fall, sweetling, before time brings you back to me?
It is in your blood.
It is the red earth under your racing feet, the heavy humidity of promised rain, the dhol-beat of your thudding heart. You can try to run from it — you do, sometimes — but it draws you back, draws you in, draws you home.
(The further you run, the tighter we will hold you.)
The open terrace is an invitation, the waiting archway is a portal — it only takes one step.
You always do this, don’t you? Your own little game, the running. When you love wolves, you might as well make yourself prey, racing down these sun-bright halls and daring them, sweetness, daring them to reach out of the shadows and take hold.
(Run, rabbit, run, but we are patient and we are watching…)
He lives there, in the corner of your memory, a promise and a threat. I will always find you.
So let him, little treasure, and paint your skin with the memory of his fingertips. Remind him, as he reminds you.
Let him come to you, let him chase you down the ramparts and catch you in the courtyard. Let him wrap his arms around your waist and twirl you in the air, let him hear the song of your laugh I have memorized you like a prayer, whispered into the crook of your neck.
He is sweetness. He is warmth, he is a memory you treasure in the dark.
He is dead.
Pay no attention to the dark clouds on the horizon.
Pay no attention to the shadows on his face.
He will love you — don’t you see, don’t you understand how you are mine — but he will use you, little lamb, until you are spent. You are a lifetime, a fire, and he will take all the light you have to offer and you will place your tombstone in the graveyard that is his heart.
You will forget.
He will not.
The red threads can be a noose too, if you aren’t careful, and sweetling you can never be too careful around him.
Run until your legs crumple, until you are too tired to crawl. Run because once you do he will not stop.
(Lips touched lips and through them touched blood…)
He has tasted the blood of your love, sweetling, do you truly think he’ll ever set you free?
The scream comes from your own throat.
You’re awake now, bathed in the light of the morning, panting from the last vestiges of the nightmare you have woken up from every morning for the past three weeks. Frantic, you reach for your neck like you’ve done every morning for the past three weeks, searching for blood.
And like every morning for the past three weeks, your hand comes away clean.
But you remember it don’t you, the jaws around your throat, biting down until you go limp in their grip? Run, rabbit, run…
You’re so tired of being afraid.
Your alarm is set to go off in thirty minutes, but you know you won’t be able to fall asleep in that time. Groaning softly, you roll out of bed and set it to snooze for the day lest it interrupts your shower. The lies you tell yourself about clearing your head this way will guide you through the rest of your routine.
You ache. A soreness in your bones, familiar and strange all at once. Running, constantly, from something you cannot explain or articulate, dreams you mull over and fail to understand. And then waking, frantic and screaming, begging for your life to thin air before the reality sinks in and you come to terms with this false safety.
The water of the shower does little to ease it, but it’s enough. Enough to push you through the rest of getting ready, reluctantly.
This life could have, should have, perhaps even would have been a fairytale. The culmination of your strife, years of clawing your way six feet out of that grave of constant study, exhaustion embedded in your bones, all to become this. All to stand at the right hand of the Man-Who-Could-Be-President, all to bring him coffee and papers and write the talking points of his speeches and make yourself Invaluable to the Movement you are so sureyou believe in.
Were so sure you believed in.
It’s a slow siege.
One piece of armor, then the next.
(Bet that lipstick leaves a mark.)
You stopped wearing red to work, settling for neutral lip balm and pretending it didn’t leave you vulnerable.
(It’s nice of you to dress the part.)
Those tailored suits you once loved wearing so much now sit as moth food in the back of your closet as you drape yourself in the ill-fitting and ill-designed.
(You have such lovely hair.)
Lovely, sitting messily in a clip so his fingers can never run through raven tresses again.
Look at you.
Look at you, standing in the mirror. Is this what you are? Is this what you want to be? Is this what your promise and ambition have led you to become, shadowed and cowering in your clothes? Where is your violence, where is your passion, where is the fire?
Who are you now, lamb-to-the-slaughter, lost sheep, girl in the woods?
You wake, you dress, you stare at yourself in the mirror again and in your heart, weep.
Baron, welcome, thank you for coming by. The brush of a hand against the nape of your neck has you turning from your desk and the papers strewn across it, facing yet more wolves in this den of your prison. The Senator gestures for you to stand and you do, keeping your gaze from his hungry eyes as yours scan over the guests he’s brought by.
And not, all at once. You know those shapes, the sly curve of that smile, the effortless tousle of brown hair and yet you don’t. Like seeing them in pieces, placed on the same canvas but sparking no proper recognition.
May I introduce you to the newest member of our staff, Miss… he pulls you in as he speaks, the smile on his face too wide and too warm to be anything but hiding fangs and you can feel the want pulsing through each word as he introduces you.
Ignore the pressure of his hands on your shoulders, giving you a squeeze as he stands you in front of him like a trophy. Focus on the man in front of you, and the icy curiosity in his eyes.
Good morning, Baron Zemo there, that’s the name, and yet it sits wrong on your tongue, like there’s more to him that you know and don’t all at once, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? Practice it. Steady it. Measure the words like you don’t feel the pressure on your shoulder, like you aren’t looking for any excuse to escape that roaming grip.
Does he see? Does he see the way you writhe in your own mind, crawling and raw and desperate? Is that way his gaze hardens when he glances idly to the senator and then back to you? It is my pleasure. And coffee, if you please — three, no need for cream or sugar.
A man like him would hardly come alone and there they are, stepping in from the periphery of your vision, towering behind their employer. One dark-haired and the other blond, wearing armor and scowls and so very familiar. You know those eyes, ice and steel, and yet you don’t and — memories burst like bubbles to the pin of the very present reality of the Senator’s hand sliding down your upper arm, fingers brushing your chest you are not safe.
Choose. Now. Fight, flight, or freeze? Let them see the glittering fear behind your glasses and hope they’ll save you?
Stupid girl, don’t you know?
No one can save you but yourself.
Wrench yourself from the grip on your shoulder, stalk over to the coffeepot. Just past the Baron-who-isn’t My apologies, I must be in your way.
No, no, of course not, please make yourself comfortable.
Keep it bright.
Keep it chipper.
Don’t look back at the hungry eyes following you, don’t think about it, don’t let them see your spine be anything but titanium, don’t let the—the hand on your wrist is black-gloved and unyielding, spinning you around to face steel eyes and harsh finality We’ll take care of it.
Sergeant Barnes, please. We need not frighten our friends. Baron Zemo’s voice is silk and warmth and you should not feel so safe in the honeysweetness.
The glove leaves your wrist. Sergeant Barnes? Stands still as a statue and you step back. They’ll take care of it, and they do. The other of the two, technically, pouring coffee and trading mugs until all five of you are warming your hands with fresh-brewed caffeine.
Senator. Shall we?
You’re alone. Baron Zemo slips into the Senator’s office and the door closes with a snap, leaving you in the presence of solemn and silent.
You should get back to work.
You should say something.
You should do a good many things.
So do it.
Work it is. You can feel the eyes on you, somewhere between curious and suspicious, while you shuffle papers and try to focus on the email you were drafting. Focus.
Don’t look back.
Don’t look at the office door.
Don’t do anything but stare at those papers, write those emails.
You should run, rabbit.
The silence comes with whispers, winding around your ear like curls of smoke, bidding you turn around and look at the statues behind you, search their faces, ask them questions. You have so many, sweet and polite, where is your chatter?
It’s an hour before the office door opens and Helmut Zemo’s honeysweet voice filters to your ears, I’m sure your Sokovian-American constituents will be quite pleased by the bill, Senator. We shall have to honor you for your dedication to our shared people at the embassy.
You stand without thinking, usually so used to only moving when the Senator bids you — mostly to keep yourself out of his grip — but the draw of his voice is undeniable. Like a moth to a flame, you burn your wings to please and meet the watchers’ icy eyes as you wait for the beacon to step into view.
He sees you. So thorough and careful, a feigned warmth around his countenance as eyes flicker over you. Searching. Hungry. You know to avoid the gaze of men like him and so you do, looking just past his face enough to hide your discomfort. Thank you for coming, Baron Zemo. We’re thrilled to have your support. Please let us know how we can be of assistance while you’re in the city.
You will regret those words, in time.
But for now? For now the Baron takes your hand and offers you a thin smile, bowing to press gentle lips to your knuckles, ignoring the way you flinch. It has been my pleasure, my dear.
It’s when he turns that you feel it. The pain in your left hand, drawing your eyes down to the threaded ring around your finger, now tight and burning. The drumbeat from your nightmares starts up again, thudding hard in your ears as your eyes follow the red thread stemming from them.
To the three men now walking out of the room.
Run, rabbit, run.
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Screaming Colors // Stucky Soulmate AU
pairing: stucky x reader Bucky x reader
summary: based off the TikTok series by @SerenaIvory.
warnings; fluff, marriage stuff, kidnapping, violence, cheating, angst, language, fighting, potential smut.
word count: 1.6k
a/n: omg I’m so glad you guys are like this series! I’m not going to be sticking to a posting such at all. I’m going to be posting them as I’m writing. some parts might be coming slower than others. super excited !!apology ahead of time for any grammar error or typos :)
After a few hours of research and resources we were able to find out that a group that goes by the name ‘The Flag-Smashers’ is who took (Y/N). One of Sam’s partners out near Libya; Joaquín Torres was already trailing them. He was able to give us the last know location of their hide out. Some abandoned building in Atlanta. Once we knew where we to go; we took off on the quinjet.
Bucky was a nervous wreck. Particularly because he had no idea what we were walking into and if was going to find (Y/N) severely hurt or even dea- Ok yeah, he needed to stop preparing himself for the worst case scenario. That is exactly what his therapist doesn’t want him to be doing.
The quinjet came to a stop mid air, hovering over the provided location. All three of the trained soldiers jumped out and found their way into an abandoned close by. They throw in their ear pieces and spilt up. Sam to the skies, Steve on the second floor and Bucky to the empty garage in the building.
“Sam, do you have visual on anything?” Steve asks
“It looks like some of them just left on one of the trucks parked near the building you guys are in.” Sam replied
“I see one” Steve said
“I see a truck as well” Bucky confirmed
“I’m going to scan for (Y/N).”
Bucky sees redwing flying down above the truck, scanning for any sign of her and the flag smashers. Just as the scanning starts the truck begins to pull off.
“Got em’!! They have (Y/N) in the red one” Sam says
“On which one?” Steve questions
“The red one.” Sam replies
“I can’t see the colors, Wilson.” Steve says, getting frustrated.
“I got her” Bucky says, taking off as fast as his legs can carry him. He’s practically flying down road. He is able to catch up to the red truck, jump on the back and open up the containers doors. He pulls himself inside.
“(Y/N)?” He says looking for her.
“Bucky!” She yells out. He runs to the back of the truck to see her zip tied, no visible injuries. He’s immediately relived, just glad that she’s ok
“It’s ok doll, I got you” he pulls out a knife, to cut the ties around her wrist and her ankles. She looks up at him. (Y/E/C) filled with fear and concern.
“Bucky, you have to go I’m not alone.” She says
Bucky feels himself being grabbed and thrown into the truck behind him. The impact catches him off guard but is able to grab ahold with his metal arm just before falling. He looks up to see a curly red headed girl jumping from the truck, onto this one. Bucky begins to climb up only to be meet by the girl. She pulls in him, she’s insanely strong. She shouldn’t be this string she’s only have his size. She punches him in right in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Is she a super soldier? Is there more serum?
“Bucky!” (Y/N) yells
“Run! Get out here, Sam and Steve are coming!” He yells back while fighting the curly haired girl.
(Y/N) jumps from one truck to the other, she makes her way to the top. She runs towards the girl, just right feel her arm being grabbed. She looks back to see it’s the man to took her. She throws a punch. He grabs her hand pushing her down.
“Don’t you dare touch her!!” Bucky yells, he starts punching the girl while running towards the man hurting (Y/N). He grabs his arm, yanking him off the truck watching him fall onto the road. The curly haired girl, still coming after him.
(Y/N) seeing this runs towards Bucky knocking them both off the truck. Bucky quickly wraps his arms around (Y/N) He holds her close, protecting her from any impact. They start rolling fast down a hill.
They come to a stop; both catching their breathe. Bucky on top of her. “Are you ok doll?”
She coughs and looks up at him. “Yeah-yeah I’m alright.”
They just stare at each other for a moment. Neither of them moving. Not sure of what to say or how to act. Him laying her wants necessarily awful either, there was no tension. It just felt very calm.
“(Y/N)!” They both recognize as Steve’s voice coming towards them.
(Y/N) pushes Bucky off of her, he picks him self up and helps her up as well.
Steve is booking it towards the both of them. Once he reaches her he grabs her and pulls her in for a hug. “Oh-oh my gosh. Honey are you ok? I’m so sorry. I should’ve been home with you. I should’ve nev-” He rambles on, tears filling his eyes. (Y/N) embraces him. Reassuring that none of this was he’s fault and that she was ok. Steve grabs her face and plants a kiss to her forehead.
Bucky starts to feel awkward, like he shouldn’t be witnessing what is happening in front of him. He offers to go back and grab the quintet to distance himself for just a few moments.
A couple hours later. Everyone is back home. Bucky went with Steve and (Y/N) just to make sure the both of them were ok. Steve makes (Y/N) go rest in bed, it wasn’t even a few seconds after laid her head down that she was dead to the world.
Steve comes back down stairs and makes a beeline towards the fridge. Grabbing two beers for the both of them. Steve pops the top off of one of them, takes a swig then rest his head in his hand.
“It’s my fault.” He states “I should’ve been here.” He takes another swing from his bottle
“She so home now” Bucky replies. Grabbing the other bottle laid it for him. “She’s safe now. That’s what really matters.”
“Yeah..” Steve said. “I guess you’re right”
“Of course I am, I’m always right.” He said with a cocky grin, causing Steve to role his eyes and smirk.
A few moments go by, both of the super soldiers just sitting in silence. The occasional sip of beer coming to ear.
“So..” Steve says “When we’re you going to tell me you’ve found your soulmate?”
A tinge of panic runs down Buckys neck. Steve must’ve remembered when I saw the red truck. Normal people can’t see colors idiot. Does he know about (Y/N)? Shit.
Bucky takes a swig from his beer then looks to Steve. “It happened awhile ago.” He starts to feel his hands clamming up.
“Tell me about her?” Steve asks
“Oh gosh, she’s amazing. Has the kindest heart and is braver than she looks.” Bucky could go on about how he cares for (Y/N) “but it’s doesn’t matter, it’s impossible.” He shakes his head.
“Nothing is really impossible, I mean look at (Y/N) and I. We still haven’t seen colors but I know we are made for each other.” Steve replies.
Bucky immediately feels pangs of guilt crawling up his spine. “What would happen if she saw the colors with someone else?” .
Steve huffed, “Ya know, I’ve asked myself that question too many times.” He takes another drink. “I can’t ever find the right answer. Any answer really.”
“Would you let her go?” Bucky said before even realizing it came out of his mouth.
“I don’t know. It would be the right thing to do.” Steve said.
Bucky looks up at him starting to feel even heavier in his chest. Steve meets his eyes.
“But I’ve lost so much already, I wouldn’t stand loosing her as well.”
Bucky nods at him.
How much more complicated can this get?
COMMENT! LIKE! REPOST
COMMENT TO BE ADDED TO TAG LIST!
@spookyparadisesheep @sherd-nerd @whatotherisleft @theseuss-asshole @addietagglikesbands @redsalv20 @intothesoul @fictionalboyofthemonth
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Hey! I’m currently taking requests! Requests are currently open for Spider-Man/ Peter Parker, Bucky, Wanda, Nat and Loki. I might eventually branch out and do the other characters but for now I’d like to stick to those 3.
Important: if you want anything specific please put it in the request with the prompt. Example if you want the reader to be related to be related to another character, a certain aspect to the character, or certain race and gender. So please put the pronouns you want in your request and if you have any other details those too.
“Just calm down, things will be fine.”“My wife is being held at gunpoint and you think now is a suitable time to tell me to calm down.”
“Please don’t let me fall.” - “Never.”
“You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her/him/them back and you take me instead.”
* “Don’t tell me you’re fine, I can see the blood!”
“If you’re watching this then that means I didn’t make it.”
“No you can’t braid my hair.” “Come on please? Pretty please? For me?”
“Maybe if you actually stop staring at her and talk to her, you might have a chance.”
“You can sleep now. I’ll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you.”
“You can’t have her and it’s killing you inside.”
“How many did you take? Open your mouth, I need to see.” (TW)
“The way he watches you. like he’s ready to take a bullet for you.” “Is that a bad thing?”
“Take my gun and go with Sam, please I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t hurt you” - “You won’t hurt me.” - “Please. Just do it.” (Bucky specific)
“Keep your hands over your ears, do you hear me? Even when the noises stop. Don’t listen.”
“It was working until you showed up, you Damn (nickname)! I mean, this isn’t fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! I was gonna propose tonight.
“My mom told me to Never trust a man that can dance.”
“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He sighed into my hair. “And your ex-boyfriend is an absolute moron for letting a girl like you go.” “Yeah you are you dope now let’s go get some dinner.”
"I hate seeing you two be all coupley in public when I'M the one you're fucking."
"Hey! Wait for me my prince!". Loki stopped dead in his tracks, his breath shallow and wondering why that voice still made them feel this way. (Loki specific)
you obviously can't be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.
“(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.”
“You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you won’t take her from me.”
“You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”
The pictures below are also prompts ( 23 and 24) you can request!
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we were in screaming color
i. “don’t want no other shade of blue but you”
bucky barnes x reader; soulmate!au
summary: the rest of the world is black and white until you meet your soulmate. you and bucky barnes lived in color. that is, until you lost him. (inspired by this ask)
wc: 9k (also the longest thing i’ve written wtf??)
warning(s): swearing, light descriptions of blood, some descriptions of panic/panic attacks, and pain
main writing masterlist ☼ marvel masterlist
a/n: this will have multiple parts! i didn’t plan on this being that long, but here we are…. ty so much to the lovely anon who requested this, i had so much fun writing this and i cant wait to continue y/n and bucky’s story! also i apologize for the ts references, i saw the opportunity and ran with it hehe
(gif credit @aavengingbucky)
People say meeting your soulmate will open the mind’s eye to a world full of color. The situation was rare, finding the one soul out of a billion who’s made for you. The world is so vast and there are so many people to encounter that you’d think meeting your soulmate would be impossible. And yet at the ripe age of eighteen, you were lucky enough to have met yours.
The day James Buchanan Barnes and his little friend Steve walked into the general store your parents owned was the day that changed your life forever. You remember that day as if it were yesterday. You remember the way his boisterous laugh met your ears, pulling you from the newspaper in your hands. You remember meeting his piercing gaze from across the store and seeing the world around you burst into a plethora of beautiful colors; each color being named as you stared around in wonder. When you met the boy’s stare again, the word blue formulated in your mind and you felt yourself go weak in the knees. It was then that you decided that of all the colors you could now see, blue was your favorite of them all.
“Whatcha thinking about, sweetheart?”
You look up at your favorite pair of baby blues from where you lay on his chest and let out a heavy sigh. Eight years later and it still felt like you were seeing the color for the first time every time you looked at him. “Just thinking about how pretty your eyes are, Barnes,” you reply dreamily, readjusting yourself so you were now sitting besides him against the headboard of your bed.
He lets out a soft laugh at that and turns to you with a smile. “They’re nothing compared to yours, doll.”
Hiding your face in the crook of his neck, you let a smile fall upon your features. “Stop it…”
“You started it!” He looks down at you bashfully and playfully pokes at your sides, making you jerk.
You yelp, trying to pull away from him, but he only brings you back to him and wraps his arms around your waist. You stop moving then and settle into the comfort that his hold brings you. Your positions are now reversed as Bucky rests his head on your shoulder, slightly lying down. The two of you lay together in silence as you bask in each other’s presence. You close your eyes as you try to memorize the pattern of his breath and the feeling of his skin on yours.
Bucky gently rubs up and down your back as his fingers lightly trace your spine. He hated himself for thinking it, but he wanted to remember what it felt like to hold you like this without any other care in the world. He wanted to relive this moment for as long as he could, in case this would be the last time.
When you open your eyes, you look down and notice the way Bucky’s brow was furrowed and the worry lines on his forehead. Taking your hands that rested on his chest, you delicately grab his face and focus his gaze on you. You give him a small smile before smoothing your thumbs over his cheekbones and forehead. “Don’t go there,” you tell him softly.
“I can’t help it.” Removing his arms from around your waist, he grabs onto your wrists and grasps them tightly. “I-I can’t…” Bucky’s breathing quickens.
“Shh,” you coo. “No need to rush, Buck.”
He nods, slowly taking a deep breath. You continue to rub your thumbs across his cheeks and under his eyes in a soothing manner. He swallows harshly before speaking again. “I can’t leave Steve and Ma and my sisters. I can’t leave you. Not when I don’t know if I’ll even come back.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that. You’re going to come back, you hear me? You’re too stubborn not to,” you argue, feeling your heart shatter as Bucky’s body shook in your arms. You knew how much it hurt him to leave. You saw it in his eyes every time the war was mentioned. He wore his uniform with pride, gloating here and there that he was going to be a sergeant. And you couldn’t be prouder. But it was behind closed doors when you saw his doubts and fears slip through.
“But in the case that I don’t-”
“No. You will. I know you will.” You shake your head in denial, trying to ignore the fact that somewhere deep down you knew he was right. Not everyone came back from the war, no matter how hard they tried. Families got torn apart, friends were separated, and soulmates were lost. You refused to think of it. You didn’t want to. Not when he was still here with you. Releasing his face from your hold, you turn away from him with a frown. “Can we not talk about it please? I don’t want to think about this. You’re still here, aren’t you? I don’t want this to be my last memory of you before you leave.”
Bucky sighs in defeat. “Ok,” he finally complies before wrapping you up in his arms once more. He rests his head atop yours and presses a kiss into your hair every now and then as you hug him just as tight, almost as if you were afraid to let go. “Hey, Y/N?” he says softly after a couple minutes of silence. He hears you hum in response and continues. “I love you.”
Looking back up at him, your eyes soften and you let a small smile grace your features. You lean up and capture his mouth with yours as your lips fall into a rhythm they’ve performed one too many times before. “I love you too, soulmate.”
While he was gone, you dreamt of him in color. You dreamt of the way his crystalline blue eyes would light up when you reunite. You dreamt of the red stains of your lipstick on his skin, as you’d kiss him over and over again. You dreamt of his military greens that he’d be wearing when he got back. Steve would make his presence known every now and then in your dreams as well, the yellow of his hair as bright as the sun. You dreamt of a glorious reunion with your soulmate and your best friend. After Steve told you he was miraculously cleared to join the army as well, your heart shattered. You were happy for him, knowing how badly he wanted to be involved. Except you couldn’t help but want to be selfish just this once. You just wanted your boys back.
The days came and went at a snail’s pace as each day stayed routinely the same. You started your mornings with your shift at the General Store. Then you’d have lunch with your mother before going to the post office to mail off yet another later to Bucky. You mailed one everyday, but you got one from him at least once every two weeks. You didn’t mind though knowing that he’s out on the field. Just being able to receive a letter from him once in a while was enough. At least you knew he was still out there. Evenings consisted of visiting the Barnes’ as you were a familiar face and some form of comfort for them. You’d talk with the girls and do Rebecca’s hair and help Winifred tuck them into bed. Then you’d have a cup of tea with Mrs. Barnes before heading back home and doing it all again the next day. It may have not been much. But at least it gave you a small sense of calm before the storm.
It started with Steve’s unbelievable transformation. You have never seen anything like it. When you received an invitation in the mail from the man himself to attend something called, “Captain America’s USO Show,” you were puzzled to say the least. Yet you went anyway, curiosity getting the better of you. Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw that night. The theatre at which the event was being held was decked out in an array of red, white, and gorgeous blues. You looked around in awe. The venue looked like something straight out of an Independence Day decoration catalog. People were ushering around you left and right as they tried to find a seat and you followed the flow. Your eyes flit across the sea of people, trying to find a vacant seat. Spotting one in the center section of the theatre four rows away from the stage, you make your way down the row and into one of the vacant seats. You smooth down your outfit as you take a seat as you continue to stare around the room. A banner for the event a little ways from where you were catches your eye. Well doesn’t he look familiar, you think to yourself as your gaze focuses even more on the so called “Captain America.”
“Excuse me, miss, is this seat taken?” a sweet voice pulls you from your thoughts.
You turn attention to the voice to see a lovely elderly woman dressed in a lovely lavender pantsuit. “Oh no,” you kindly respond, gesturing to the seat. “It’s all yours.”
She gives you a nod and a smile before taking the seat.
The two of you wait for the show to start in silence as you continue to take in the sight around you.
“So, I’m guessing you’ve met your soulmate?” the woman questions you, intrigued. You send her a look of surprise and she chuckles. “I could tell by the way you’re looking around. Most people would’ve just stared straight ahead, but your eyes are wandering all over the place!”
The two of you share a bout of laughter prior to your reply. “Yes, I have actually. I met him when I was eighteen.”
She sighs dreamily and gives you a soft smile. “You’re lucky to have met him so young. Is he with you tonight?”
The expression on your face falters at her question. “Unfortunately not. He’s somewhere out there serving the country…”
“Ah, a military man. My Harold was a military man too. He fought in the first World War as a sergeant.”
You find yourself smiling at that. “My fella’s a sergeant too.”
“Oh, what a small world!” she exclaims with a giggle. The woman turns to you and gingerly places a gloved hand atop yours that lay on your lap. “Even the war couldn’t tear us apart. It was the scarlet fever that took my love away from me…” She trails off, staring longingly into space. “A word of advice, dear. Cherish every moment you have with your soulmate, you hear me? People like us, people who find our soulmates, we go through hell just to be with them. Because once they’re gone, it’s harder to find that light the world once had when you were together.”
The woman’s words feel like a stake to your heart as you think about Bucky. Your throat goes dry and it takes everything in you not to rush out of the theatre right then and there and demand the US military for his location. You just sit there, staring at the woman beside you with teary eyes. You open your mouth to speak but are cut off by the dimming of the lights and the deep voice of the announcer.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, Captain America!”
The red, white, and blue clad man runs on stage with an award winning smile and a wave. The crowd erupted in applause at the sight of the man and you let out a chuckle in amusement. You thought it was silly how much the people praised this man for parading as the face of America when there were men at the forefront of the battle right now. You continue to watch, eyes narrowed in suspicion as you stare at the man. Something about him struck you as awfully familiar as he spoke. Yet, you couldn’t put your finger on it. So you just sat back and watched the show. You’ll admit, you were more than slightly entertained, but the nagging in the back of your mind that you knew this Captain America occupied most of your thoughts.
The show came to an end with an extravagant finale with the Captain giving quite a “punch” to a man who was supposed to be Hitler and more war and weaponry propaganda. Which was expected, considering the times. But it still made your stomach turn nevertheless. After an applause from the crowd at the show’s end, the theatre audience began to trickle out with just a few sticking around to meet with Mr. America himself. You bid goodbye to the woman who sat next to you during the program, wishing her the best, before going to wait by the side of the stage where Captain America was shaking hands with fancily dressed men. You stand there for a few minutes before the men leave, waving enthusiastically at the Captain.
He sees you standing a few feet from the front of the stage and a gigantic grin crosses his face. He rips off the mask he’s wearing with his costume and you let out a large gasp as a hand goes to cover your mouth.
“Steven Grant Rogers!” you exclaim with such shock going through your body you can barely move.
Steve laughs and hops off the stage. He heads your way and gathers you up in his arms with a wide grin. “Y/N!” he beamed.
Your arms wrap around his muscular form as you gasp again and how easily he picks you up off the ground and spins you in a circle. When he places you back down on the floor, you pull away from him and are met with him smiling widely at you. “Wha… how?” you stutter, barely able to conjure up the words to describe what happened to him. Steve Rogers was the lanky little boy from Brooklyn no more. He was now Captain America, large, buff, and extremely charming.
“It’s a long story,” he tells you with a shake of his head. “Gosh, I’m so glad you came. I was afraid you wouldn’t get the invitation.”
“So it was you?”
“It was,” Steve responds proudly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to keep the element of surprise.” He sends you a wink and you find yourself laughing again.
“Well, it most definitely worked.” Your eyes rake over his form once again, taking in the miracle before you. “I still don’t understand what’s going on here,” you mutter in disbelief. “But it’s so good to see you again, Steve. It’s been too long.”
“Yeah, it has. Hey, how about I take you out to dinner tonight? Let me change out of this get up and we could go to Lottie’s just for old times sake?” Steve pleads.
You agree without hesitation. This sense of normalcy would be good for you, especially with how lonely you’ve been feeling lately. Going out with Steve would be a good form of comfort and familiarity.
Sitting in the diner with Steve is a breath of fresh air. The last time you felt the least bit content was back when Bucky was here. Thinking of Bucky, the smile on your face subsides and you find yourself staring longingly out the window next to your usual booth.
Steve notices your sudden silence and could tell exactly what you were thinking from the look in your eye. “I miss him too,” he tells you softly. He reaches across the table and gently takes your hand in his, giving it a light squeeze. “Buck’s one hell of a fighter. He’ll do everything he can to get back home.”
You send him an appreciative smile. “Thanks Stevie. What about you? Care to tell me how all this happened then?”
He only smiles at your question and shakes his head. “I’d love to, Y/N/N, but I’m not sure how much I can exactly tell,” Steve tells you remorsefully. The way your lips tilt downward pulls at Steve’s heart. “But I promise once all of this is over, I’ll tell you everything. How about when Bucky gets back, so I can fill the two of you in?”
Steve walks you home just like old times. The walk to your house is mostly quiet other than your occasional teasing comments on Steve’s new bod. For the first time in months, things felt relatively normal. But it was Bucky’s absence that reminded you otherwise. When the two of you get to your front door, you give Steve one last hug before parting ways. Your walk upstairs is a sad one as you reminisce how a night like this would have looked months ago. Making your way into your room, you let out a sigh and sit at your vanity. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you almost didn’t recognize the person looking back at you. She was tired and disheveled, with her hair in disarray and a lack of powder on her face. She was nothing like the proper lady her mother raised her to be. Your eyes scan over your features once more when your gaze catches a glimpse of a familiar brown hanging from your open closet. Getting up, you walk over to your closet and pull the clothing off its hanger. You bring the jacket up to your nose and inhale its familiar scent. You wrap it around your shoulders, pretending that you’re in Bucky’s warm embrace. If you pushed yourself enough, you could almost imagine that this was a night like any other, and you were coming back home wrapped in the arms of your lover.
Something was wrong. If the lack of letters from Bucky didn’t worry you enough, the feeling in your gut that did. The letters stopped coming a few weeks ago. The worry was normal, your mother had told you. She also told you that sometimes there were mailing delays and maybe the month’s shipment hasn’t come through. You considered this for a moment, until the dream you had a few nights ago.
All your dreams start the same, with you in your rose red dress and Bucky in his military uniform in the dance hall downtown. Tommy Dorsey’s “Daybreak” is playing in the background as Bucky holds a hand out for you to take. But instead of being pulled into his familiar embrace, your dream took a different turn. As you take his hand, the scene shifts, and you find yourself in a dark and empty room. The air is cold, though you can’t feel it. The sight of your breath as you exhaled told you there was a drop in climate. You turn around, finding yourself in what looked to be a mix between a prison cell and a laboratory. Then the faint sound of his voice catches your attention. His words were incoherent, but you could recognize his voice anywhere.
You receive no response back. Looking around the room, you try to gather your senses and scan your surroundings. Where the hell were you? You hear him again, only this time, his voice is louder. More intelligible.
“Bucky?” You call out again, voice laced with a sense of urgency.
He doesn’t respond to you again and you find yourself barging out of the room and into a dark hallway. You let out a shaky breath, listening again for any sounds of his voice again. The next time you hear him shakes you to your core, making your stomach turn.
He screams. He lets out a heart wrenching scream that seems to vibrate through the hall, causing you to drop on your knees as tears begin to fall from your eyes. Pain was the only thing you could feel. He was in pain. He screams again and you let out a sob as you bring your hands to your head and cover your ears. You’re not sure how long you stay there, before the screams finally stop.
Suddenly, you’re jolting out of bed drenched in sweat. Your throat is dry and you have dried tear stains on your cheeks. You shiver as you remember the horrible dream you had. The tears well up in your eyes once more as the sound of Bucky’s screams echo through your head. It may have just been a dream, but everything about it felt completely real. From the sound of his voice, to the feeling of the cold concrete against your knees and the musty smell of the corridor. You had to figure out a way to reach him. You had to make sure Bucky was ok.
Bucky sat in the infirmary tent, still shaken from all that has happened within the span of a couple of hours. Just hours ago, he was in Hydra’s clutches. Too sudden movements from the nurses around him made him flinch and loud noises around the camp made his heart rate raise. Steve stayed with him the entire time. For moral support or for his own reassurance, Bucky wasn’t sure. But he appreciated the company. He just wished you were there with him too.
Being poked and prodded at by the scientists at the Hydra compound he was held at almost made him lose hope entirely. Grasping onto the thought of seeing your smiling face again, to be able to hold and kiss you as he pleased, was the only thing giving him the motivation to stay alive. So much so that he could’ve sworn he heard you calling his name once or twice while he was there. Bucky knew he must’ve been hallucinating, but your voice had sounded too real. He could’ve sworn you were right outside his cell. And the thought alone, scared him more than anything. There’s an unsettling tug in Bucky’s chest that ached every time he thought of you. An ache that could be resolved only by you. Bucky couldn’t stand the aching any longer. He needed to find a way to see you.
He sits up, hastily yanking the IV out of his arm and attempts to climb out of his cot when it squeaks beneath him, alerting Steve of his consciousness.
“Buck?” he questions, a bit aloof from sleep.
“I’m fine, Steve, go back to sleep,” Bucky brushes him off. He tries to get himself up on his feet once more when Steve grabs him by the elbows and steadies him at the edge of the cot.
“You’re not fine, Bucky. Get back in bed. You need to rest.”
He shakes his head with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his already disheveled hair. “I can’t. Please, Steve, I-I need to see her.”
“The nurse?” Steve questions. His blue eyes sweep through the infirmary in search of a nurse when he feels Bucky grab his hand.
“No, not the nurse. Y/N. My Y/N, I need to see her,” Bucky frantically pleads as he tries to get out of the bed once more.
Steve shakes his head with worry and pity for his friend. He knew what Bucky just went through was traumatic. And he knew that Bucky needed all the comfort and support he could get. Which is why he wasn’t surprised when he asked for you. It pained Steve’s heart that no matter what he did could cure his best friend’s want. “I’m sorry, Bucky. But Y/N’s not here.”
“No, Steve.” Bucky shakes his head, eyes constantly darting back and forth. “I need to see her. I need to know that she’s ok.”
Steve’s brow furrows at Bucky’s words. “What? Bucky, Y/N’s fine. She’s in Brooklyn, remember? Right where you left her. I even saw her before I left. She’s ok. She’s safe, I promise.”
The worry on Bucky’s face doesn’t fade. His muscles are still tense and his forehead is beaded with sweat. “Steve, please.”
Seeing the panic on Bucky’s face, Steve knew he just wasn’t going to let it go. Steve didn’t blame him. If he were in his place, he’d need reassurance that his loved ones were ok too. So Steve nods, giving Bucky’s hand a squeeze. “Ok. Ok, Buck. I’ll see what I can do.”
After what he did for the troops and being Captain America, Steve was able to pull some strings and get you on a privately escorted flight to Italy. When you got the phone call from Steve, your mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. But after some explaining from Steve, you were able to let out a breath of relief. Though you were a bit confused as to why Bucky was begging to see you, Steve promised he’d explain everything when you got there. Without any care other than the thought of your love, you threw your clothes in a suitcase and scribbled a note to your mother explaining your whereabouts.
The camp was anything but comforting. People were running around left and right and you could hardly grasp onto your surroundings. The camp was loud. There were shouts coming from all directions as you stepped off the jeep that picked you up from the airport. You must’ve looked as lost as you felt because a man in uniform sauntered up beside you with an amused smirk on his mouth.
“Are you lost, miss? A military camp isn’t exactly the place for a dame like you.” He sends you a mocking smile as he pulls a cigar out of his coat pocket.
The man offers you a cigar, which you politely decline, tightening your grip around your bag on your shoulder. With your eyes scanning across the camp, you tell him, “I’m actually looking for Sergeant Barnes of the 107th.”
“Barnes? I don’t know where he is, but I do know someone who does. Stay here.” He jogs off to one of the tents. The man comes back with a woman who dismisses him with a nod. He gives you a nod before walking off.
“Ah, you must be Miss Y/L/N,” the woman observed with a warm smile. She had a strong English accent and striking red lipstick. “I’m Agent Carter, but please call me Peggy. Steve said he’s expecting you. Come, follow me.”
As Peggy leads you through the camp, you find yourself feeling nauseous at the sight of how the men around you were damaged by the war. There were men with lost limbs and men with cuts and scars galore. Men who were sprawled out on the ground in tears, clutching pictures of their loved ones, and men who were drinking through the trauma brought upon them. The sight almost brought you to tears. You couldn’t begin to imagine what they were going through. Then you think back to Bucky and you think you’re going to be sick. Steve hadn’t told you much over the phone other than Bucky begging to see you, leaving the rest up to your imagination. You’re pulled out of your thoughts at the familiar call of your name.
Steve approaches you and Peggy with a relief filled smile which you gladly return before giving him a huge hug. When you pull away, Steve observes the pinch of your brows and the way your lips were pursed. He sees the look of worry in your eyes as he gently grabs you by the shoulders. Steve smooths a hand down your shoulder and carefully takes your bag from your hold.
“Steve-” you start with teary eyes.
“He’s here, come with me,” he tells you gently, guiding you by the arm to another tent.
You suck in a deep breath, trying to keep yourself steady as best as you can. For Bucky’s sake and Steve’s sake, of course. Though the way you clenched your fists and attempted to blink the tears from your eyes suggested otherwise. Walking into the tent was just as horrendous of a sight as the camp outside. With men sprawled everywhere, and nurses shuffling left and right, everything about it made your heart drop. As you carefully followed Steve, your eyes flit all over before finally landing on a cot at the very back end of the tent. He was sitting up with his back facing you, but you knew it was him. You’d recognize him anywhere. You don’t even register that your feet are moving quicker than Steve’s until you’re standing directly behind the man you’ve been longing to be reunited with for months. “Bucky?”
At the sound of your voice, oh your sweet angelic voice, Bucky is up faster than anyone’s seen him move in days. He almost trips over his feet as he runs over to you, his military boots loose from his undone laces. There’s no hesitation in his movements as Bucky runs over to you and tackles you in the largest hug. His arms wrap securely around your waist and he tucks his head in the crook of your neck. He inhales your familiar scent that sends a wave of calm over his entire body. Bucky feels your arms come around his neck and he pulls even closer to him, afraid that if he let go for just a second, you’d slip away from him. He was afraid that the second he let go, he would find himself alone in that cold, dark cell and back in Hydra’s hands. Burying himself further against you, he lets out a breath. “You’re ok. You’re ok…” he repeats over and over again.
“Bucky,” you sigh, voice filled with relief. You feel his hold on you tighten and you reciprocate the action, finally feeling the longing you’ve had subside at the motion. When Bucky mumbles your name into the skin of your neck, your heart stutters at the feeling of finally being able to feel him again. You pull away from him ever so slightly, just enough so you could see his face. His blue meets your y/e/c eyes and you let out a breath of relief. You were finally home. “Are you ok?” you question, cupping his face delicately in your hands. “When Steve called me on the phone, gosh Buck, I thought I lost you.”
Your voice cracks at the end of your statement and when he notices the tears that have begun to stream down your cheeks, his heart almost breaks in his chest. He grabs your wrists and leans forward, placing his forehead against yours. You let out a shaky breath and Bucky’s grip tightens. “Oh, sweetheart,” he whispers softly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
You shake your head with a frown. “Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for.” You softly place your lips upon his and Bucky lets out a quiet moan against your lips before you pull away. Brushing the pads of your thumbs over the apples of his cheeks, you slightly bump the tip of your nose with his, eliciting a smile from the man. “You’re here, aren’t you? You’re here and that’s all that matters to me.”
Bucky and you were so caught up in each other that you didn’t notice Steve and Peggy slip away or the nurse who changed Bucky’s sheets for some new ones. The only thing that existed was each other.
“Stay,” Bucky pleads with a sad smile. “Stay with me tonight. I know the cot isn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on but-”
“Ok. Ok, Buck, I’ll stay. For you, I always will.” And it was true. You would stay with Bucky Barnes for as long as he pleased.
Bucky fell asleep in an instant that night. You held him in your arms as if it were any other night; as if he didn’t just come from the forefront of a raging war. You begged him to tell you what happened to him. Though him nor Steve told you directly, you knew there was something they were hiding from you. The way that Steve wouldn’t meet your eye and the vacancy behind Bucky’s eyes told you so. There was more to the reason why you were here. But Bucky requested you wait. You reluctantly complied.
When you first saw the color yellow, you automatically noticed how it filled you with joy. The yellow of the sun, the yellow of the flowers Bucky bought you on your first date, and the yellow of the overly buttered popcorn at the cinema Bucky always took you to were just a few of the things you associated the color with. And even now despite the circumstances, the pale yellow glow from the moon above filled you with joy as it shone through the half opened tent flap like a spotlight, illuminating your lover. The light accentuated Bucky’s features in a way that you would describe as heavenly. You could see every freckle and blemish and the curve of his cheekbones. But with it came the view of every cut, scar, and bruise on his skin from where he lay on your chest. Your chest tightens as your gaze lands upon the purpling bruise and dark spots that gathered under his eyes. Biting your lip, you will yourself not to cry. Just the thought of Bucky being out there fighting a war that seemed impossible to win made you want to run up to the general and beg him not to let Bucky back out there. The tiny, selfish part of you wanted to beg the general to let your Bucky come home. But you knew that wasn’t possible. Bucky would hate it if you did. He was never one to back down from a fight, always being the person who needed to see justice be served to be satisfied. You knew that dragging him from this fight wouldn’t be fair for him. But what about you? It wasn’t fair for you to be the one at home wallowing in your own pain and sadness as you wondered when (or if) he’d come home. It wasn’t fair that you had to go through it all alone. You blink away your tears, letting out silent curses as you do. Bucky was only doing what he thought was right. He always did. It’s not fair for you to get mad at him, not after all he’s done for you.
Bucky stirs in your embrace as a soft whimper leaves his lips. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were shut tight. So tight that the corners of his eyes began to crinkle. He lets out another noise of distress, pulling you from your thoughts and back to him. Your lips turn down in a frown at the sight of the man in your arms as you gently brush a strand of stray hair from his forehead. His skin is clammy at the touch and beaded with sweat. Pressing the back of your hand carefully against his forehead again, you let out a soft gasp at how hot he feels. He must be close to running a fever. You try to lay him down on the cot so you could get up and call a nurse but his grip on you only gets tighter. “Bucky,” you murmur.
He lets out a string of incoherent words and flinches.
“Bucky, honey, you’ve got to let go,” you shake him slightly, trying to get him to wake. He stirs once more, letting out another whimper of pain and you touch his shoulder a bit harder this time. “Bucky!”
He jolts up, heaving for air as his arms fall from your waist. A chill runs through his body as his mind flashes back to the horrors that were bestowed upon him not long ago as his eyes frantically dart back and forth as he tries to gather his surroundings. Bucky was heaving as he tried to catch his breath. A delicate hand on his shoulder stopped him from spiraling as you breathe out his name. “Christ,” Bucky sighs, collapsing into your arms. With his eyes squeezed shut, he winds his arms around your waist and peppers sweet kisses against your neck. “I’m here. You’re here…”
Wrapping one arm around his shoulders, you use the other to run a hand through his hair that was partly damp from sweat. You nod placing your lips on the crown of his head. “Of course you’re here, my love. You never left.”
Bucky shakes his head in a panic. “No, no. I was there. I was back there and I couldn’t-I couldn’t move.” He pulls away from you and his eyes vigilantly rake up and down your form. “I can’t go back there. I can’t.”
You swallow harshly as he continues to babble about not going back. Back where? What possible could have happened to him while he was away to make him react this way? You gently rock him back and forth as you try to subside his frantic words. “Oh, Buck,” you mumbled into his hair. “What did they do to you?”
His movements still and his gaze darts away from yours. You see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows harshly. The bright blue of his eyes suddenly go dull at your words and for a moment you’re afraid that you might have crossed a line you should have stayed behind. Then it’s as if something in him snaps, and Bucky tells you everything. And the whole time all you could do is sit there with tears flowing down your cheeks as he tells you about the unimaginable. When he finally finishes his story, you throw yourself at him with such a force that Bucky could swear he felt his heart bump against his rib cage. Your sobs tear Bucky’s heart in two as you apologize for something that you never could’ve prevented from happening. Bucky takes this as his turn to comfort you. He wipes away your tears and kisses you everywhere his lips could touch. Each brush of his lips was enough of a reminder for both you and him that he was here with you. That despite it all, Bucky still came home. When you eventually collapse in his arms from exhaustion, Bucky silently thanks the heavens above for bringing him back to you. He couldn’t bear the thought of you having to lose him in a way worse than the war. As you nestle yourself in Bucky’s arms, the yellow glow of the moon gives itself a different meaning for the two of you, no longer emitting joy, but rather a sign of sorrow.
Since that night, you and Bucky haven’t spoken about either of your breakdowns, opting to specifically focus on his recovery in the meantime. It was a mutual agreement between the two of you-- him not wanting to discuss it any further and you keeping quiet in fear of making him even more upset than he already was whenever someone mentioned the incident. So when the rest of the Howling Commandos suggested having a celebratory night at one of the local pubs, you eagerly agreed.
It’s been awhile since the last time the two of you were able to have a somewhat normal night with one another. Perhaps it was before you even knew Bucky was drafted for the war, before either of you had any knowledge of your impending doom. To think those were the good old days… Straightening out the dress Peggy lent you, you step out of the car with Peggy giving you a bright smile at your side. “Ready for your date?” you tease.
Peggy’s cheeks gather a light pink dust on her porcelain skin as she brushes your comment off. “It isn’t a date. The whole unit is going to be there.”
“True, but come one, you totally got dressed up for Steve!” You bump her playfully with your elbow as the two of you head to the pub.
She exasperatedly rolls her eyes at you before nudging you back. “So what if I got dressed up for Steve? We’re not like you and James. He’s not my soulmate or anything.”
“So?” You let out a groan as you pulled her aside before she could entire the pub. “Just because he’s not your soulmate doesn’t mean you can’t give it a try! Look, soulmates are rare. Bucky and I got lucky enough to have met each other. But my philosophy is, if you haven’t met your soulmate yet and you think you love Steve, maybe the universe is trying to tell you that you should give it a shot.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Y/N…”
“I believe in “everything happens for a reason” Peggy.”
“Aren’t you quite the optimist,” she retorts.
“I get it from Bucky.” Hooking your arm with hers, the two of you walk into the pub. “Now, show the captain what he’s missing.” With a small smile, you give her a playful wink.
Making your way through the room, you spot the Commandos gathered around a table drinking and laughing like there’s no tomorrow. The sight makes your chest bloom with warmth as Dum Dum Dugan animatedly waves his hands around as he dramatical tells one of his infamous stories. You giggle as you and Peggy make your way to the group, exchanging greetings with the rowdy (and incredibly drunk) men. Over the course of the couple of weeks you’ve been at the camp, you’ve gained a soft spot for the P.O.W.’s Bucky bonded with. You admit, they were terrifying at first glance, but once you got to know them you enjoyed their company.
“Looking for the lover boys?” Gabe Jones smirks at the two of you. Wolf whistles and chortles erupt around the table at Gabe’s teasing.
“Oh, shush, you,” you feign anger before joining in on their laughter.
“They’re over there,” Jones replies, pointing to the back room with a grin.
You mouth a quick thank you to the man before pulling Peggy along with you to find your boys. Just as Gabe said, the two men were seated at the bar with a glass of whiskey in hand, looking as carefree as ever. Letting go of Peggy’s arm, you make your way over to Steve and Bucky and motion for her to follow. Walking up behind the two, you gingerly wrap your arms around Bucky’s shoulders and resting your chin on his shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but I’m here to steal your Sargeant.”
At the sound of your voice, Bucky breaks into a huge grin as his hands grasp onto your hands that rested near his chest. The tip of his nose brushes against the skin of your cheek as he turns, giving you a sweet kiss on the skin.
“He’s all yours, ma’am,” Steve cheekily replies, laughing as you pull Bucky up from his seat.
With Bucky in tow, you pass Peggy and mouth her a silent ‘Go to him!’. Her eyes darted from yours to Steve’s figure at the bar. You shoot her an encouraging nod and make your way out of the pub. The cold Italian air nips at your skin as you step outside for some fresh air. You close your eyes and dramatically take a deep breath, crinkling your nose as you turn to Bucky. His crystal gaze was already set dreamily on your form, his lips pulled into a sweet smile. “What?” you ask him.
Bucky exhales as he shakes his head. Taking a step closer to you, he holds your face in his hands as he rubs small circles into the hinge of your jawline with his thumb. “I don’t think I’ve told you how beautiful you are tonight,” he confesses with a charming grin. “I’ve never loved the color red more than when it’s on you.”
Your chin drops to your sternum as you avoid his intense stare, fiddling with your fingers and bashfully staring at your feet. “You use that line on all the ladies?”
“Only on you, my love,” he declares softly, grazing his fingertips faintly down your neck and to the sides of your ribcage.
Your knees buckle at the sensation his touch sends through your body. Goosebumps rise on the surface of your skin from his touch, rather than from the cold as he continues to move downward until his hands are resting lowly on your waist. With a tug, he smoothly brings you flush against his chest and your arms instinctively drape themselves on his shoulder. “You sap,” you whisper into the cold air. “Wait ‘till the boys hear their sergeant’s gone soft for little ‘ole me.” You lightly tap him on the nose with the tip of your finger, eliciting a chuckle from the man.
Bucky keeps you against him as he subconsciously sways the two of you underneath the Italian night sky, keeping you tucked snugly beneath his chin. “Daybreak, another new day, the mist on the meadow is drifting away…”
The softness of his voice surrounds you as he begins to sing your song, making your eyelids flutter shut. The tension in your muscles subside as you continue to sway and you let the lull of his heartbeat bring you home. As he continues to sing, you hum along as you imagine the two of you standing in the dance hall in Brooklyn.
Bucky’s grip loosens as he rounds the end of the song and he pulls back to take you in. “As the white clouds sail on through the blue, at daybreak I did dream of you…” The last words of the song linger as he gently caressed your lips with his.
You let out a sigh of relief as Bucky’s mouth meets yours. You push against him with one of your hands snaking into his hair as your heart tries to claw its way out of your chest through the all too familiar dance of your lips. His movements have you drowning in the taste of whiskey and the scent of his cologne. He was the only thing that your mind could focus on. You didn’t need alcohol to get drunk, not when you had him. His kiss was intoxicating. To taste him, feel him, and love him awakened a feeling inside of you that no words could ever describe. Bucky Barnes lit the match that set your heart ablaze. Your love for him spread like a wildfire through your entire being as you tried to convey this all through your declarations of love on his lips. And yet, even then, it wasn’t enough to put out the flames that scorched your heart. If you didn’t need to take a breath, you could’ve gone on to kiss Bucky forever, but your lungs were screaming for air so you reluctantly pulled away.
Bucky was panting heavily from the passion filled kiss you shared. Even with swollen lips, smudged lipstick and slightly mussed hair he still thought you were the most incredible thing he had ever seen. Nothing, not even the colosseum of Rome, could ever compare. The way that the stars reflected your wide and soulful gaze almost had Bucky on his knees. He doesn’t let go of your waist as he presses another quick, yet fervent kiss to your lips. “You know I love you with everything I have, right?”
“I do,” you reply without a second of hesitation.
Resting his forehead on yours, Bucky lets out a shaky breath before he continues.
You notice the tremor of his shoulders as he does so, causing you to grab his face in your hands.
“And because I love you, you know I have to do this,” he lets out slowly.
“James, what is this about?” Fear overcomes the absolute bliss you were feeling just moments ago at his words.
“Steve, the Commandos, and I-- we’re leaving again first thing tomorrow morning for the Alps. Steve has a lead on another Hydra base.”
“The Alps,” you repeat, slightly untangling yourself from his hold and crossing your arms against your chest. Tears well up in your eyes and cascade down your cheeks as you look up at Bucky whose eyes are glossed over as well.
“Y/N, I know. I know, sweetheart. I know I said last time was our last but-”
You shake your head as you wipe away your tears. “But you have to go, I know.”
“Hey, once this is all over you and I are finally gonna start that new life together. Just you and me. Ok?” He takes your hand and brings them up to his lips. “I promise.”
“That’s quite a big promise to keep James.”
“Darlin’, have I ever let you down?”
You shake your head no.
“See?” He tries to lighten the mood with a watery chuckle and a smile, but you could see the pain behind his eyes.
You return his stare, noticing the way his eyes look brighter in the moonlight because of the tears gathered at his lash line. Using your other hand to caress his cheek, you keep your gaze on his as you try to commit the beautiful blue of his eyes to memory. “Come home to me, James Buchanan Barnes. God knows what I’ll do if you don’t.”
With his hand still in yours, Bucky pulls you into him and keeps you securely in the crook of his neck. “I promise, Y/N. I’ll always find my way back to you.”
“I love you,” you sigh.
“I love you too, soulmate.”
Your eyes were burning. You could feel it through your closed eyelids from where you lay inside the small tent that you and Peggy shared. It felt like nothing you have ever felt before. The pain slowly made its way down your face, to the side of your throat, and finally stopped at your heart. Letting out a cry you fall onto the floor on your knees as you claw at your eyes.
Your cries alert Peggy who’s out of her cot and by your side in an instant. “Y/N?”
Another pained cry makes its way from your lips when suddenly the pain just stops. The aches and burning disappear just as quickly as it came. You try to open your eyes and for a moment, you’re surrounded by complete darkness. As you continue to blink away your tears and your blurred vision, your senses finally come back to you. The world is still a bit fuzzy, you’re able to see again. When your vision clears, the first thing you notice is how bleak the world looks. You scan the area of the tent as Peggy continues to fret over you. But you can’t hear a word she’s saying. The only thing your mind could process was the lack of light, no, color around you. The tent that you used to know was a deep shade of green is now a blanket of black. Your eyes darted to a tube of lipstick on the side table that you knew was the most gorgeous shade of pink only to find it reduced to a dull grey. Your body is moving faster than your mind could follow as you stumble out of the tent and outside. You look up at the sky expecting to be met by the most beautiful shade of blue that reminded you of your lover, only to be met with dullness once more. The heaviness on your chest seemed to grow as you frantically sucked in breathes of air through your mouth as if you were using a straw.
Various nurses and soldiers are rushing past you in a frenzy causing you to turn around to see what the commotion was about. Pushing through the crowd was Steve and the rest of the Commandos who looked like they had just gone through hell and back. Your eyes flit around, trying to find the comfort of your favorite shade of blue, when Steve stops right in front of you.
“Y/N…” he whimpers with his shoulders sagged and head hung in defeat.
You look to the other men for an explanation but they only dodge your gaze with a forlorn look in their eyes.
“No,” you whisper, shaking your head in disbelief. “No, no, no, no…”
Steve catches you as you let out a gut wrenching sob before falling to your knees. He holds you tight as his own sobs are muffled by his face hidden on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he cries over and over again as he holds your shaking form. The only thing you could cry out to him in response was the name of your lover as you clung to Steve like he was your lifeline. And in a way, he was, being the only thing you had left of Bucky Barnes.
A wave of rage and anguish washed over you at the loss of your other half as you cried in Steve’s arms until you felt absolutely numb. The world was bleak as you realized you had nothing left to live for. The light, color, and beauty of it all left with the one you loved. Until Steve told you that he was going to take down Hydra once and for all. Your anger and grief clouded your judgement as you practically forced yourself onto the mission with him. Gripping onto Steve’s shoulder as he looks at you with sadness in his eyes, you give him one last reassuring smile. Helping take out Hydra and its leader was the least you could do after all the pain they had inflicted upon you and others. If you could, you would take out every last follower of Hydra standing for taking away your other half-- your soulmate.
Closing the compass in his hand, Steve looks up at you one last time with a bittersweet smile on his face. “For Bucky?”
Letting out an exhausted laugh, you close your eyes and brace yourself for impact as you envision the smiling face of James Buchanan Barnes. “For Bucky. ‘Til the end of the line…”
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Pairing: Bucky x Reader x Steve (Stucky x Reader)
Summary: Everyone is born with a Soulmate tattoo. Your tattoo consisted of a flower representing yourself and two other flowers...
Warning: Violence. Bit of angst. Possible swearing (honestly can't remember). Shower scene which isn't really spicy.
A/N: Massive thank you to @lokiscollar for Beta-reading this and to @sskhair for making the picture! Also, thank you to @buckyownsmylife for supporting me through this, and helping me
when it got difficult. This was originally written for a request but, sadly, I can't find it - sorry!
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Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a girl. She was born to a beautiful queen and a powerful king, and she was graced with the gifts of both her parents. Her beauty was unparalleled and power unmatched. They called her Valentina.
You threw the book to the ground, your nose scrunching in distaste. Even though you were bored to high hell, there was no way you could read an over-the-top fantasy romance novel. While you could read some of the trashiest stories known to man, but even you had a limit, and that limit has been met.
You pulled yourself up, swinging your legs off the dusty couch and standing to your feet. Fingers interlocking together, you stretched your arms over your head, moaning at the click in your back. Oh god, that felt good.
You had been cooped up in the safe house for three days. Following a successful mission in the south of France, you had travelled to west Austria to lay low for a few days. It wasn’t something that you were instructed to do, however, you like to take a few days for the news to die down slightly. Though there was no way of connecting you to the mission, you had been extremely careful, it was an extra safety measure that made sense in your mind.
As you walked over to the barely stocked kitchen, a beep sounded throughout the room. Abandoning your quest for the instant noodles, you walked over to the burner phone which laid on the coffee table.
Park Kultury i Wypoczynku.
Socks. Lerna. Snow.
Purple. Green. Yellow.
You deleted the message before dropping the phone on the floor, stomping on it with the heel of your boot. Grabbing the remains, you leave the small house. The woods behind the house are dense, expanding for more than ten miles. Grabbing a shovel which was leant against the house, you make your way into the trees, your mind playing over the instructions.
Park Kultury i Wypoczynku was a park located in Kielce, a city with over nine hundred years of history, within Poland. While you had never visited the area before, you knew it was only approximately two hours from the two local airports in Warsaw and Krakόw.
Tomorrow. 1800Hrs. That would be an easy time to make. There was no time difference to equate for and the plane would take no more than three hours, depending on which airport you chose. You would leave in the morning, scope out the park before the meeting.
Socks. The code words were ingrained within your mind after years of training. The first word always related to the amount of people who would be going on the mission. Socks, two, pair. There would be two people that would be meeting you in Kielce. It wasn’t uncommon for you to work in a team. You were known for being adaptable, able to fit in wherever and with whomever.
Lerna. The second word was the type of mission. Lake Lerna was located in the Mycenaean territory and was where the mythical Greek creature, the Hydra, lived. And that was what the word translated to: Hydra. Though nothing was detailed, you knew this would relate to the group which, over the years, had become smaller but was still prominent enough to be a threat. This mission could be to infiltrate a base, or a rescues mission, or a stake out, or something else completely. You wouldn’t know until you met with the other operatives.
Snow. The third word the location of where the mission would take place. Snow means Russia. Considering you would be starting your mission in Poland, that would mean you would have to leave no trace of ever being in Russia. It would be an easy task for you, you just hoped your soon-to-be teammates would be able to do it too.
Purple, green and yellow were the colours you would have to wear. They would be the identifiers to your soon-to-be teammates. They would also be wearing the colours in some way, allowing you to recognise them.
After burying the broken phone three minutes into the trees, you return to the safehouse. After adding boiled water to the instant noodles, you left it to ‘cook’ while you went into the box-sized bedroom.
The wardrobe in the bedroom was filled with clothes of various colours and sizes. Clothes could be taken by anyone, used to fulfil the colour requirements. Your normal wardrobe consists of dark colours, nothing that would stand out and draw attention, so you would need the aid of the safehouse wardrobe.
Searching through the wardrobe, it doesn’t take you long to find something suitable. A dark green coat, a yellow top, and a pair of purple gloves. It wasn’t exactly a good-looking outfit, but it would do.
The mirror beside the wardrobe caught your eyes as you were trying on the top. You hadn’t properly looked into a mirror for years, and the sight of the flowers drew your attention. Normally you would see them from an angle, your hand trying to flatten your left breast as you looked at the flowers which sat below, near your side.
Everyone in the world was born with flowers on their body. Some had them on their leg, their back, their arm. The places varied. While most people had two flowers, you had three, with the largest record being six, but that was over two-hundred years ago. One flower represented the person they were on, while the other, or, in your case, others, represented the persons soulmate. The soulmate flowers were a black and white outline until you met your soulmate, where they would bloom into colour.
Your eyes trailed over the flowers on your torso. Three beautiful flowers blossomed over your torso just below your breast. The only flower in colour was the Plumeria. The edges of the petals were a dark pink, becoming lighter as the colour progressed down the petal until it became almost white before turning yellow, which darked into its orange-red centre.
It was a beautiful flower, truly stunning. Growing up, you couldn’t understand how the flower represented you. when you looked at the flower, it brought forward a sense of calm and innocence. Two things your life was anything but. Your line of work was dangerous, full of death and with no view of innocence. With the fast pace of travelling and completing jobs, it wasn’t very calm either.
Now, however, you had grown attached to your flower. Perhaps you could see those qualities in yourself, now that you’re older. You have to remain calm in the face of a difficult situation, in the face of danger. And just because your job involved the death of others, that didn’t mean there wasn’t innocence to you. Those you had killed, there had been a reason for it. You had never taken an innocent life.
Or maybe there was no particular reason for the Plumeria being your flower.
The flowers of your soulmates were framing yours. Both to the right, one slightly above and one just below.
The one above was a beautiful rose, smooth edges of beautiful petals curling delicately. Currently black and white, you looked forward to seeing the colour it would become. Would it be red? Maybe yellow, or pink?
It made you wonder about the person it represented. In your mind, a rose was a traditional flower. Would they be a traditional person? A rose also symbolised love, strong love. Would they be passionate in their love for you? Though you had never been an overly lovey-dovey person, you hoped they would be.
The flower for your second soulmate has been harder to determine. You had looked at it for years, trying to figure out what it was. You still weren’t one-hundred percent certain, but your top guess was a sunflower. You loved sunflowers. You would only know when the colours bloomed.
A sunflower. Strong and sturdy. They seemed to persevere even through tough situations. Well, you had never actually seen a sunflower before, but that’s what they did in your mind. You wondered if your soulmate was the same? Were they strong? Were they tough? Did they persevere through tough situations?
Your fingers traced the lines of the flowers and you sighed. Would you ever meet them? Some people went through their life, never meeting their soulmate. Would you be one of those people? Saying that, in your line of work, maybe it would be better if you never met them. Meeting them would put all three of you in danger.
They would be a target for the enemies you had accumulated over the years. It wouldn’t be fair to bring them into your life, to put them in danger.
You pulled your shirt down, turning away from the mirror as your nose sniffled.
You would be fine on your own.
You sat on a bench in Park Kultury i Wypoczynku, your eyes trailing over your surroundings as you sipped from the steaming paper-cup of coffee. Your purple gloved hands held the cup in clear view, your green coat left unzipped with your yellow top left on show.
Though the sun was setting, the weather wasn’t too harsh. A light breeze brushed at your hair. You shook your head slightly, making the brunette strands move over your shoulder. The wig sat snuggly on your scalp, blended in seamlessly, and the breeze was no match for it.
Something some people didn’t realise was that wigs didn’t have to be a completely different colour to your natural hair, for it to disguise you. You had worn wigs of all colours, various shades of a colour, and had even worn a wig the same exact colour of your hair once. The only thing you consistently changed was the style of the wig. Pixie cut, shoulder length… It always changed. Sometimes the best change was the most subtle.
The wig wasn’t the only change you had made to your appearance. Contact lenses changed the colour of your eyes. Extra pairs sat in the bottom of your bag, ready for you to swap.
Like you’d said, the smallest of changes could be the biggest mislead.
Your eyes wander over the park, which was sparsely populated. Children played on a climbing frame, parents sitting at a picnic bench and discussing their day. You watched people pass through the park, cutting through to get to the place they needed to be.
Then your eyes caught sight of the dark green shoes. A man walked towards you; head tilted down with a yellow baseball cap covering his eyes from view. Around his neck, trailing over his thick shoulders, was a dark purple scarf.
Blue eyes met yours as he looked up, and your breath caught in your throat. You recognised him instantly, his structured face being one that you had seen in a museum years ago. He was more breath taking in person, which is a feat considering how good he looked in the pictures.
“Nice evening, huh?” Steve Rogers said, taking a seat beside you on the bench.
“Pleasant” you agreed, nodding.
Moments later, a third person joins you both. Their green, almost black, bag drops to their feet as they stuff their purple and yellow stripped jumper into it. “Who picks the colours for this thing? I’m tellin’ ya, yellow is not my colour. Red, red, is my colour.”
Resting your paper cup between your knees, you zip your coat up, hiding your top. Your shoulders wiggled as you cozied into the warmth of the coat, your chest warming up. “It’s many other people’s colour too.” You nod towards the woman in a fitted red coat, then the man with the red scarf, then a young woman with red tights.
“Okay, well, red wouldn’t be the only colour, would it?” he sassed, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest as he looked around.
“Hmm, you would want to add grey, wouldn’t you Mr Wilson?” You smiled into the lip of your cup. “Though I’m sure Mr Rogers would prefer blue and white.”
“Oh, so we’ve got-” Sam began, shifting in his seat to face you, before he was interrupted.
“We seem to be at a disadvantage. You know who we are, but we don’t know you” Steve observed, his eyes flickering to you.
You swallowed the mouthful of coffee, swirling the cooling liquid at the bottom of the cup. “Valentina.”
“That’s not your real name, is it?” He sighs.
“Who knows” you shrug, standing and walking to the bin beside the bench. “There’s a safe house three miles north of here. I trust you can follow the directions you’ve been given.”
“Wait, what directions? I thought you would be giving us the directions” Sam asks, standing up as if to you follow you.
“I’ve given them to you” you smirk at him, patting the pocket of your jacket before you walk away.
For an Avenger, you had to admit that Sam Wilson was not very observant. It was too easy to slip the paper into the pocket of his coat without him noticing. Hopefully, this was because he was not ‘in the zone’, so to speak, rather than an actual lack of observational skills.
“There’s a Hydra base in Russia, eleven miles from the Ukraine border. We can take the E105 partway, then deviate to cross the border. We get to the Polish border by car, ditch the car, cross, then we can get another car to Kharkiv” Steve said, leaning over the table which held the map. He pointed to a spot on the map, “We’ll cross into Ukraine here.” His finger paths a way across the map. “There’s a town here where we should be able to find a car. We can take that to the Russian border. It’ll take us roughly eighteen hours to get to the border of Russia. We’ll get a few hours rest and then move into position and take down the base. We’ll then travel north to Finland, which should take approximately twenty hours. Tony will have sent us a pick-up.”
“Who would have thought that America’s golden boy would be willing, well, suggesting, to steal a car” you chuckled to yourself, swallowing the mouthful of instant noodles.
“Borrowing, not stealing” he corrected with a firm glance.
“Why are we having to go there by car, why can’t we just take the jet?” Sam asked, picking at his own food.
“We can’t come up on Russia’s radar, or close to it” Steve informed him. “They’re still trying to get Bucky and it would look bad if we’re found on Russian soil, or in their air space, until that’s sorted.”
“And let me guess, I’m here as a scapegoat type of thing?” You guessed. “If we’re caught, I’m the distraction. We make it look like it was my organisation, rather than it being you guys.”
“Yeah” Steve confirmed with a heavy sigh.
You nodded. As soon as you had seen Steve, you had guessed that would be the plan. There was no other reason for you being part of the team. Why would the Avengers need your help for intercepting a Hydra base?
It was simple: they didn’t.
Though your organisation worked with the Avengers on occasion, this was the first time you had been involved in infiltrating a Hydra base. Missions involving Hydra were normally restricted to scouting and reporting information back to the Avengers, before they took the base down.
The thought of your organisation putting you up to be the scapegoat annoyed you, there was no denying that. You had been loyal to them for more than fifteen years, since you were a child. And yet, they were ready to throw you to the wolves, so to speak. If you were caught, your organisation would take the blame, but they wouldn’t endeavour to get you back.
This was their way of telling you that you were no longer of top use to them. You had gone from being their top agent, to being at the bottom of the barrel. And that made your blood boil. You were part of the top three agents, with a near perfect success rate and now, suddenly, you were disposable?
“We leave at first light” Steve ordered, looking between you and Sam. “Get some rest.”
Throwing his rubbish in the bin, Sam grabbed his rucksack and went to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He would be sharing the lumpy double bed with Steve, though you didn’t know how they would both fit, while you would take the couch.
It was quiet for a few moments before Steve spoke again, “When this is over… you’re going to go after them, aren’t you?”
“Which no doubt means that we’ll be seeing each other again in the near future, when they send you after me” you confirmed, tipping the plastic container back to drink the broth.
“You don’t have to, you know?” he sighs.
“Steve, I’m expendable. You know what that means right?” your right eyebrow raised as your head tilted slightly. “They’re going to find a way to get rid of me. More dangerous missions with less back up. Hey, they might just send someone after me, who knows.” You shrug, leaning back in your chair. “Either way, if their plan, which I know they have, succeeds… I’ll be dead in a year.”
It was quiet as Steve processed your words. You were right, he knew you were. Your agency worked with the Avengers through the Accords and though Steve didn’t like what they stood for, at the present time, there wasn’t much he could do.
Your agency wasn’t bad, necessarily. Like the Avengers, they took out the bad people. When the time came for an agent of theirs to ‘retire’, they were either passed on to another organisation or they were disposed of. It wasn’t personal, it was business. It was just the way it worked.
If you went against them, like you planned, you would be labelled as ‘Rogue’ and, depending on how skilled you were at avoiding your own people, other organisations, such as the Avengers, might be brought it to take you down.
Steve didn’t know you, you’d met mere hours earlier, but you didn’t seem like the typical agent that he had worked with. He had worked with others from your agency before. They were cold, distant, hard. They gave off the I kill people, good and bad, and I like it vibe, as Sam labelled it. Steve was a good judge of character, he could get a natural feel of people, and nothing about you seemed to match with the others.
Steve wasn’t stupid though. He knew that you had killed people, that was your job. You didn’t give off the aura of particularly enjoying it.
Still, that didn’t matter. You were right. You would be dead within a year. The Avengers couldn’t take in everyone who had come to the end of their employment, but Steve found himself wanting to find a way of getting you in his team. Alas, that wasn’t his decision. Maybe he could speak to Tony, who would know the people who would be able to request you to join their ranks.
It would have to wait until after this mission though, they had a Hydra base to take down. Steve stood from his chair, making his way towards the bedroom. “Get some rest, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
It had taken you two hours to get to the Ukrainian border. It was easy to cross the border, going through a field with a simple stone marker with no patrol. It would probably be the simplest part of the trip, with the border to Russia posing more of a challenge.
At a steady jog, you had made it to the outskirts of a town eight miles from the border within an hour.
“This is a small town, sparsely populated” you informed the two men. “Barely four hundred people within a fifty-mile radius. Minimal security, only actually in the buildings.”
“And you know this how?” Sam asks, leaning around Steve to get a look at you.
“Steve planned the journey, and I researched the route” you reasoned, not even making eye contact with the man. “There are internet cafes that are open twenty-four-seven. You should be more prepared, Sam.”
“I’m prepared” he scoffed. “I just didn’t stay up all night researching a town which we’re just going to pass through.”
“Maybe if you had researched the town, you would have come to the same conclusion that I did: all three of us entering the town will draw attention. They don’t have many visitors” you say. “But it’s okay, Sam, I understand that you needed to sort your little bird’s nest out before bed.”
“Birds nest?!” he questions, his head tilts to the side, hands flying to his hips.
“Sorry, Falcon’s nest” you correct with an innocent smile. “I hope you found enough twigs.”
“Would you two pack it in” Steve scolds, shooting you both a look. He gives out a heavy sigh as he eyes Sam, “This is worse than when you talk to Bucky.”
“Anyway,” you bring the conversation back on track. “As I was saying, all three of us entering the town would draw unwanted attention. It would be best if I go alone and grab us a car. As a woman, I am less likely to draw attention. You two can circle the town and meet me on the other side.”
Agreeing with your plan, Steve took your bag. It was a simple enough plan, but you would blend in better without the bulk of your bag. You kept the little tool bag hidden within your coat and agreed to meet with the boys five minutes outside of the town.
You zipped your jacket up, pulling the hood up and wrapping your scarf tightly around your neck. You enter the town at a causal pace, keeping a pleasant smile on your face and returning the polite greeting of an elderly couple.
The town was quiet, as was expected at seven in the morning. Very few people lined the street, though you took note of a small coffee shop which seemed to hold at least five customers and two employees, one of whom was gazing lazily out of the window.
You knew you wouldn’t be able to pass through the town unnoticed, it wasn’t like they had a lot of visitors. However, you didn’t want to draw attention to yourself unnecessarily. So, you kept your hands in your pockets and your scarf pulled up. You avoided looking at anything for too long, taking a quick, by full, glance before moving on.
It didn’t take you long to pass a side street which had a car parked close to the edge. After a quick glance around, seeing no one in view, you slipped into the small street between two tall buildings. The side street held no surveillance, as you had expected and apart from the car there was only a large industrial bin.
Checking behind yourself, you slide your hand into your jacket and pulling out the small lock-pick tool kit. Within minutes, you’re driving the car out of the alleyway and towards the side road which leads out of town.
“Hey. I stole – sorry, borrowed, a car” you grinned, leaning across the seat so that Steve and Sam could see you through the passenger window.
Steve gave you a look of disapproval as you climbed over the middle console, and he took his place in the driver’s seat and Sam got in the back. It was a long drive ahead and you were all going to take turns on who was driving.
Less than ten minutes into the drive, you heard a heavy sigh from the backseat. You glanced in the rear-view mirror, watching as Sam gazed at the screen of his phone. His thumb hesitated for a moment before sliding across the screen and he smiled at whatever he was looking at. He slid his thumb across the screen again and, this time, laughed at what he saw.
“You brought your phone with you?” you asked, turning in your seat to look at him.
“What? Is that a crime?” he asked, face still turned down, but his eyes lifted to look at you.
“Well,” you sighed, shrugging as you turned back around. “It’s not advisable. If you lose it, god knows who could find it and use it against you.”
“You’re a bundle of joy, aren’t you?” he snorted. “It’s heavily encrypted, you’d have to be a technological genius to get into it. Stark level.”
You twisted slightly, holding your hand out behind you. “Give it here.”
You heard the click of the phone being locked and then it’s placed into your hand. Your fingers grasped the edges of the phone and you bring it around to your front. With the screen black, you lifted the phone to your eye level and titled it back slightly. Squinting slightly, you can see the grease marks on the screen. The largest spots show the area which has mostly been touched.
You woke the phone up, watching as the numbers came on the screen. Tilting the phone again, you took note of the numbers which correlate with the grease prints. One, six, seven and nine. The lock code was comprised of seven numbers.
You thought for a few moments, staring out of the window blindly. There were multiple combinations which could be made with these numbers. Taking a deep breath, you turned back to the phone.
“Angela says that she expects you to take her to a Broadway show” you inform Sam after a few minutes. “And after, she wants to f-”
“Okay, that’s enough” he quickly leaned forward, grabbing the phone from my grasp. “How did you do that?
“The grease prints show which area is mostly pressed, which I attributed to which numerical button was pressed for the passcode” You explained. “Numbers one, six, seven and nine. Your passcode is made up of seven numbers. If either the day or the month is that of a single number, it could be a date. No offense, Sam, but with your age, a date would naturally be your go-to. However, you are smart. You wouldn’t use your date of birth, so, you’d use another important date. I just had to run the numbers, took me a few tries but… I got there. It was basic psychology and mathematical evaluation.”
“But there were hundreds of combinations that you could make from those numbers” Steve protested in astonishment.
“Mmm” you agreed. “Like I said, it took me a few tries. I got lucky because I started with the earliest possible dates. Eleven-seven-nineteen-sixty-nine. I would suggest changing your password and making it a code which isn’t date related. What did the date mean, anyway?”
“So, what, you studied psychology or something?” Steve questioned.
“Not really” you explained. “In my line of word, you need to be able to read people.”
And it was true, you did need to be able to read people. You needed to be able to read peoples intentions within moments of meeting them and failure to do so could get you killed. Reading people was key to getting the job done, to progressing in your career. A career which seemed to now be coming to an end.
Still, that wasn’t something you should focus on now. With a mission coming up which could turn bad at any moment, you didn’t need to dwell on future possibilities. Being stressed could lead to a lack of focus during the mission, something which you didn’t need. You needed to keep your mind light, off of the stress which was sure to come in the future.
“So, Angela, who’s she?” you distracted yourself, watching Sam closely.
Throwing a glance over at Steve, he muttered, “No one.”
“A fling?” you asked. His jaw tense minutely, you barely caught it. “Not a fling… Girlfriend….wife?” he was slowly becoming more tense. “Soulmate.”
Sam looked back at you for a moment, and you knew you had it. Sam had found his soulmate, and her name was Angela. Smirking at being right, you reclined in your seat, head lulling to the headrest as your arms crossed over your chest.
“Change your password periodically, change her name in your phone, don’t have a picture of her as a lock screen… and don’t bring your personal phone on a mission again” you advise him. “I wouldn’t use her against you, but I know plenty of people who would. And those are the people who work for my organisation, who probably wouldn’t hurt her, just hold her from you… never mind if someone else go hold of her.”
You may not know Sam well, but you were not a cruel person. You respected him. Yes, you had bantered throughout your short time together, but he was never rude, and he had never threatened you in anyway.
And soulmates were something you didn’t touch. You would never use a person’s soulmate against them.
You didn’t think you would get your future with your soulmates, but that didn’t mean someone else should miss out on their chance. Sam was a nice man, seemingly a good man. He had found his soulmate and, by all appearances, was very happy with her. In his line of work, it was fair to say Angela would be in a fair amount of danger. If you could help Sam protect her, even in such a small way, that would be good, you think.
“What about you Steve? Have you found your soulmate?” you ask.
“Yeah” he confirms, obviously not one to lie. “And you?”
“No” you shake your head, glancing out the window. “I don’t think I ever will. It’s not in the cards for me, Cap.”
“Why do you think that?”
You rub at your nose, sighing heavily. “I’ve met hundreds of people, from all around the globe, and nothing. I spent years looking for them but… nothing. And with the way this mission is likely to go, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever find them.”
“Well, you’re a bundle of joy” Sam broke the tense silence after a few minutes.
“That’s why people call me ‘Sunshine’” you joke, giving a fake-cutesy smile.
It was true, though. You didn’t think you would get the opportunity to find your soulmate.
Before, you had been okay with that. But that was when it was your choice. When you had decided that you didn’t want to find them because it would be better for them, safer, it was okay because that decision was made by you. But now, with how things could go, it felt like the choice was never with you.
And that was something you had to accept.
The rest of the drive was relatively quiet. Steve and Sam had conversations here and there, but you kept mostly to yourself, either pretending to sleep or focusing on driving when it was your turn.
It had taken just over seventeen hours to make it to the Russian border, thanks to a heavy foot on the accelerator which Steve didn’t appreciate. You abandoned the car in a parking lot of an old supermarket, the shop rundown and the neighbour sparsely populated.
It took another hour to find the right spot to cross the border without being seen. Crouched in front of the metal fence, Steve and Sam huddled around you and kept an eye out. You accepted the small compact blow-torch from Sam’s pack – “One of our guys came up with the design. Nice, right?” – and pulled out your wire cutters.
You weren’t going to lie, this was significantly easier than you thought it would be. Once you had found the right spot, it has taken you less than ten minute to create the hole, go through, and repair it. Now, you we’re hugely invested in border control but honestly, you were expecting more security.
“There’s an abandoned gas station a few miles from here, we can rest in there for a few hours before making our move” Steve decided, shouldering his bagged shield before moving.
“Do you want to meet your soulmate?” Steve quietly asked a few hours later.
Sam was asleep, resting while Steve kept first watch. You were meant to be asleep too, but your brain couldn’t shut off. You wanted to get this mission over and done with, you wanted what was going to happen, to happen. Then, you could move on. Deal with whatever consequences appeared.
“I don’t know” you reply honestly. “I mean, why would I want to subject them to this kind of life? To having me, a trained killer who brings danger with them everywhere they go, as their soulmate? It wouldn’t be fair. Besides, they’d be okay without me. They have each other.”
It took a few seconds for Steve to process your words. “You have two soulmates?”
“Yeah. They’ve found each other, I think. I just… I can feel it, you know?” you sighed. “I can’t describe it, but I just know they have one another. But anyway, what about you? Tell me about your soulmate, what are they like?”
“His name is Bucky” it comes out as a near whisper, a hint of a smile on Steve’s lips as he thinks about his soulmate. “I met him when I was a kid, we knew without even looking at our flowers… then… I lost him. I found him again though. It took time but… I got him back.”
“Bucky as in…Bucky Barnes? The Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes?” you questioned, sitting up from your position curled up on the floor.
“Yeah” he tensed at the name given to his soulmate.
“They searched for you, you know? Hydra. They saw his tattoo, they knew that you would be able to bring him back from their control and they wanted to destroy you, prevent that from happening” you told him. “I remember finding the documents in a long dead agents’ office. They gave up searching for the Soldier’s soulmate in the eighties.”
Steve sighed as he rested his head back against the wall, arm laid on his propped-up knee. Through the shadows which were casted across the gas station, you watched as he closed his eyes in thought.
Growing up, you had heard stories of the relationship between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. As far as you were aware though, they were just best-friends, boy-hood friends who had an unbreakable bond. Nowhere had it said they were soulmates. In a way, you understood. Soulmates were a private matter; the whole world didn’t need to know about them. Especially in their field of work.
“I was still in the ice” he sighed eventually. “He waited for me… for years. Whether he knew he was waiting or not. I suppose… we were lucky they had never found me.”
“The Winter Soldier did some terrible things” you observed. “But that doesn’t make him a terrible person. If they found you… well, you would have lived but you would have been part of Hydra. From all accounts, Bucky was a strong, loyal man… If they could change him, there was a possibility that they could change you and if that happened… anyway, I think you came out of the ice at the right time. It was the time when Earth needed you, and it was in time for when Bucky needed you to get him out.”
Steve was quiet for a moment, taking your words into consideration. You were right. Bucky was one of the strongest men that Steve had ever known, and if Hydra was able to break him… well, honestly, Steve didn’t want to think about that.
“And what about your soulmate, you said you hadn’t met them yet?” Steve inquired, shifting to face you better.
“No” you shook your head. “I think it’s for the best. I wouldn’t want to bring them into this lifestyle.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to let them decide?” he asked.
“If you could have stopped Bucky from going through all that hell, would you have?” you questioned. He nodded and you continued, “I don’t want to put them at risk. Besides, as I said, I might not even make it through this mission.”
“Valentina…” he said your fake name softly. You raised a brow, giving him a small, sad smile. “You’re one of the top agents in your organisation, you’re not going to go down on this mission… and you don’t have to go after your boss, we can see about moving you to join our team.”
“Steve… Do you honestly think your bosses would take me on? You can’t take in every stray puppy” you sighed. “You should get some rest. I’ll take over until its Sam’s turn.”
Steve wanted to argue, you could see it on his face, but he knew you were right. So, he slid down the wall and laid on his back, staring at the stained ceiling for a few moments before closing his eyes.
The base was small and seemingly deserted. The small field was bare, covered in a layer of snow which partly covered the entrance to the Hydra base. The entrance was inside of a small hill, the door partially covered with the frozen rain but still visible enough for you to find.
Your knife was held in your hand, which rested at your hip. Crouched slightly, you made your way through the base. To your knowledge, this base should have minimal agents, if any at all. It was a quiet base in a secluded area, it was meant to be a ‘pass through’ for agents but that didn’t mean it was deserted.
As you were making your way through the entrance corridor, you heard voices at the end of the hall. It didn’t seem to be talk of anything important, just about their plans to go out into the closest town and find a woman to bed. The typical talk of men starved for attention.
Your small group of three stopped just before the opening, standing with your backs to the walls and peaking to see the Hydra agents. You gave a nod to the boys before stepping around Steve, making your way towards the agents.
It took less than a moment for them to notice you, but it was enough for you to get close. Your right arm reached out, grasping the agent on the right and pulling his towards you as you kicked the other agent back. Off balance by you suddenly pulling him, stumbled slightly before regaining his footing.
His hand grasped your wrist, twisting and pulling it to the side. You allowed it, sending quick jab to the throat which had his hand flying to his neck as he choked for breath. You turned to attention to the other agent, dropping down and spinning your leg out. As you moved to stand up, you pulled your knife from its holster and quickly stabbed it into the agent’s chest. Without missing a beat, you removed the knife, walked to the other agent, and finished him.
“Clear” you called, barely loud enough for Steve and Sam to hear.
The men came out into the open, stepping over the agents and continuing down the hallway.
Steve turned back to you and Sam, giving quick signals before breaking off to the left. Sam, being grounded as they didn’t want to chance someone catching sight of his wings, took the corridor straight ahead. This left you to go right.
Going through an area with possibly numerous enemies wasn’t necessary new for you. You have been in the business for years and had gained an impressive set of skills. You were often sent on missions with numerous targets alone. However, the level of training those targets had varied.
Hydra agents were known for being well trained, mainly because if they weren’t, they would be used for bait by their own team. You had heard of stories before. Agents not trained to the standards Hydra requested were sent to higher ranking agents to be used as target practice.
Your steps were even and steady, your mind clear. The mission was simple. Scout the base for any agent and, if you find them, take them down. On the way out, plant the explosives. Once clear, detonation. It was a simple plan.
“I’m in the security room” Sam’s voice came through the earpiece. “One security guard, down. Cap, you’ve got four agents up ahead. Valentina, you’ve got three. There’s another three in my section. All else looks clear.”
“Copy” you and Steve confirm quietly before the line goes silent.
The corridor turned left at the end and you stopped and turned your back against the wall. You crouched down, peering around the corner. The corridor opened into an open space where three agents sat at a round table, playing cards. It was clear Hydra didn’t have a lot of work available for them at the moment.
You reached into the holster around your ankle, pulling out the small throwing knife. You flipped the blade, grasping the tip between two fingers as you assessed the situation, working out the best method to take them all out.
You waited until they were slightly more distracted. The agent facing you was looking down at his cards, smiling at his dealt hand while his comrades looked at him in, seemingly, disbelief. With quick steps, you rush around the corner and straight for the men. As the first agent begins to look up at you, you throw the knife.
His two comrades, who had been sitting either side of him, looked towards you upon seeing the knife impaled in the agent’s chest. They reached for their guns and as you went towards the man on your left, you kicked your leg into the chest of the agent on the right.
You knocked the first agent’s gun to the side with your arm, his hold was weak where he’s using only one hand. His other hand comes to you in a first, which you duck, bringing your knife forward to impale between his ribs and into his heart.
In the seconds it’s taken you to disarm the first agent, the second has pulled his gun free of his holster. You’re able to dodge the bullet, his aim slightly wide, and grab for the first agent’s gun. While guns are not your go-to weapon, you’re proficient. Your aim isn’t wide, and the bullet hits the agent’s throat.
You dropped the agent’s gun at his feet, he was dead, it would be of no use to him.
You pulled a small device from the attachment at your waist. Your finger trails over the small surface, your nail catching the tiny switch on the side. You attached it to the wall, pressing firmly to make sure that it stuck.
You returned to the hallway, pulling out more of the small explosives and attaching them to the walls as you went. The explosives were linked to a detonator in the possession of Steve, who would activate it once you were a safe distance away.
“All set here” you report into the earpiece, heading back to the entrance of the base.
“Sam?” Steve checked up.
“Downloaded the intel and heading back now” Sam confirmed.
You turned the last corner, jogging to the crossroad section. You met with Steve, the Captain holding the detonator in one hand, with the shield on his back. Less that a minute later, Sam was joining you both and you were making your way out of the base.
The sun was a fair distance in the sky as you left. The three of you running to the treeline before Steve activated the detonator which took out the base. The small hill shook and for a moment, you thought it would crumble in on itself. It stood firm, though a puff of dirt and smoke drifted from the hidden entrance door.
“There goes Bilbo’s house,” Sam commented. He seemed to realise who he was standing beside then, and quickly went to explain, “That’s a character on-”.
“The Hobbit, I know” Steve nodded. “That was one of Bucky’s favourite books.”
“They’ve been made into movies now” you inform him, following after him as he walked away from the destroyed base and further into the trees. “Lee Pace plays Thranduil, the elven king. Super-hot, by the way. Loved the hair.”
“You’re into long hair? Seriously?” Sam asked, leaning around Steve to look at you.
“Need something to hold onto,” you shrugged. Your eyes flickered to Steve where he had the beginning of a smirk on his lips. “He knows what I’m talking about.”
“No, no” the Captain denied quickly, holding his hands up in a gesture of innocence.
“Doesn’t Bucky have long hair? He did in the pictures. Or has he cut it?” You teased, biting your lip to stop the giggles.
“Can we stop this sexy-time talk? I don’t need to think about Steve and Tin-man” Sam pretended to heave.
“I thought you’d be kinkier” you commented, sending him a wink when he glared at you. You changed the subject after a moment, “Anyway, we need to find get our bags, get ourselves a car and start heading North.”
It took you another two hours to retrieve your bags and then find a town that was large enough for you to steal a car without too high of a chance of being noticed. You followed the same plan as you did in the Ukrainian town, leaving Steve and Sam to wait while you entered the area alone.
It took you less than twenty minutes to find a suitable vehicle and hotwire it. You stuck to the backroads to get out of town, picking up Steve and Sam before hitting the main highway to get away from the town.
“Valentina will drive for three hours, then I’ll drive for a further three, then Sam, it’ll be your turn,” Steve instructed, moving around in the passenger seat to find a comfortable position. “Then we’ll repeat the cycle.”
“Valentina,” Sam repeated slowly, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before you turn your focus back onto the road. “You gonna tell us your real name?”
“Does it matter?” you asked him, throwing on the indicator and switching lanes.
“Come on, you know ours,” he said, kicking at the back of your seat.
“You’re an Avenger, whose face has been plastered on surfaces around the world” you rolled your eyes. “Of course, I know your names.”
“What harm could it do to tell us your name? I mean, we could find it out anyway,” he argues. “I’m just being polite and asking you.”
It was true, they could easily ask your organisation for name. Being the Avengers, they would be given the information, especially considering you were no longer a valued asset. You knew that while Steve probably wouldn’t look into you after this mission, not until he was potentially ordered to take you down, you knew the curiosity would overpower Sam and send him searching for your name.
“Y/N,” you finally told them. “My name is Y/N.”
Steve softly repeated your name to himself, while Sam just nodded in acceptance. The car was silent then, and you focused your attention on the road ahead.
“Y/N, Y/N,” a hand on your shoulder shook you awake, and you were quick to slap it away. “We need to ditch the car, then it’s a two mile walk to the border.”
Running a hand over your face and releasing a large yawn, you pushed yourself to sit up. Blinking your eyes awake, your body shivered as the last of the peaceful sleep left you. Reaching forward, you opened the car door and slid out, grabbing your bag from the floor.
“How fast we’re you driving?” You asked Sam, taking note of the sun not being as high as you expected.
“Angela is waiting for me” he defended with a shrug. “Come on, the quinjet it three miles from the border, five miles from here.”
“I need a hot shower desperately,” you groaned, rubbing at the base of your back before putting your bag over your shoulders.
“You need it,” Sam jested, poking your arm. “There are showers on the jet.”
“If you think I smell bad… Angela won’t want to be anywhere near you,” you snarked.
“Calm it down, kids” Steve commented, shaking his head at the two of you.
You took a few moments to cover the car with a few branches, just enough to conceal it for a few hours. Then, you jogged to catch up with Steve and Sam. The Finnish border was sparsely patrolled, and it was easy for you all to cross the border.
It didn’t take long for you to travel far enough into Finland, to spot the quin-jet which had been sent to take you back to America. The quin-jet was large and imposing, standing out amongst the Finnish landscape.
At the top of the ramp, a man stood watching your approaching group. Even from a fair distance, the man was imposing. He was tall, with broad shoulders and thick thighs. His hair was cut short, and even from this distance it looked fluffy. You could see he had a strong jaw, hidden under a light scruff.
As he took a step out of the shadows of the quin-jet, a low ray of light could his arm.
His metal arm.
You had to fight to not freeze at the sight of him. Though he was no longer the Winter Soldier, fist of Hydra, he was still a threat. He was the world’s most successful and prolific assassin. There had never been someone as successful in the business as him, and there probably never would be.
Yes, he was reformed now, and it wasn’t his fault that he had been forced to kill people. However, he still has the skill set to take you down without breaking a sweat. It was a normal human response to be cautious of a predator. It wasn’t about whether they were going to hurt you, but rather that they could.
Beside you, Steve released a breath, as if releasing the tension from his body, as he saw his soulmate.
From the stories that you had heard from those who had found their soulmates, being separated from your soulmate was not a happy experience. There was the usual matter of missing the person you love, but your body would also be filled with pent up tension until you were reunited.
“Buck,” Steve greeted, pulling the other man into a hug. Their foreheads touched, noses brushing together gently. They pulled away from each other, Steve taking a step away from Bucky.
“You’re early” Bucky observed, looking from Steve to you and Sam. “Sam driving?”
“He’s got a hot date to get to” you playfully punched Sam’s arm before introducing yourself. “It’s nice to meet you, Sergeant Barnes, I’m Y.N.”
“Mmm,” he nodded at you before turning to Sam, “Hurry up, Bird-brain.”
Bucky headed back into the quin-jet, softly bumping Steve as he passed in a way of acknowledgement of his partner. As he took the shield from its place on his back, Steve looked at you over his shoulder.
“He’s not very trusting of new people” he explained.
“It’s okay” you excused, shrugging the apology away. “But like we said before, I want a shower. As soon as possible. I feel gross.”
“Wait until we get in the air. Then, go down there” Steve directed, pointing to a small corridor. “second door on the right. The jets only big enough for one shower, so don’t take too long.”
“Yeah, I want some of that hot water, Valentina” Sam teased, pointing at you warningly.
“You know that’s not my name” your eyes rolled, glancing back at the ramp lifting to close when it made a slight noise.
“It’s cute, though” Sam shrugged, walking backwards away from you and further into the jet.
Snorting softly with a shake of your head, you left to go to the showers as you felt the jet start to take flight. You entered the small shower room, locking the door behind you. The room was small, holding a small shower and single cabinet. Attached to the back of the door was a full-length mirror.
You set your bag on the floor, pulling out a change of clothes and setting them on the counter. Opening the cabinet, you pulled out a thick, soft, cream towel. You ran your thumb over the towel, letting out a pleased hum before setting it on the counter with the clothes. You glanced into the shower cubical, checking to see that there were shampoo and soup in there.
You quickly stripped your clothes, dropping them on the floor and stepping into the shower. You couldn’t hold back the shriek when you turned the shower on, jets of ice-cold water hitting your skin. You jump back, your back against the wall to try and avoid the cold water.
The water heats up within seconds and then you’re quickly wetting your hair. It felt like it had been ages since you had last washed your hair. The strands heavy against your shoulders as the water-soaked in. Quickly washing your hair, you ran palmfuls of conditioner into your hair.
You lowered the head on the shower to chest-level. You twist your body slightly, letting the water run over your showers. You moan as the heat hits your tired body. You had been cooped up in a car for days and your muscles were strained and tired. You ached, muscles slightly twisted from the position you were in, in the car.
Now that the mission was over, you would have to go underground for a while before taking your next step. You would need time, however long or short, to decompress before moving forward. You would need to confront your organisation, find out why you were suddenly expendable when you were one of their most successful assets.
That was the plan. Go to a safehouse for a few days and let your muscles relax, then your new mission would start. You would need to get access to the files, which contained the information you needed, was located in a secure location. First, you would need to attend base, to find that location. You would need to scope out the area before infiltrating it.
It was going to be a lot of work.
Grabbing the soap, you quickly wash the grime off your body. As your hands pass over your body, you fingers massaging the tired muscles. You lifted the shower head back to its original position, stepping under the spray. Your fingers brushed through your tangled hair as the conditioner washed out. The strands aren’t as soft as they would have been with your own brand of conditioner, but it was much better than it was previously.
Squeezing the access water out of your hair, you shut the water off. Exiting the shower, you quickly grab the towel and crunch your hair in it to remove as much water as possible. You brought the towel to the front of your body, bring it over your arms and wiping the water away.
As you run the towel down your torso, a flash of colour catches your attention. It can’t be.
Pulling the towel away from your body, you step closer to the mirror. Your soulmate flowers were fully coloured-in. The rose is a vibrant red, standing out brightly against your skin. The petals had slight shadows from where they curl over themselves. The other flower was exactly what you thought it would be, a sunflower. The centre was a dark black and the petals were a beautifully bright yellow.
They were beautiful.
You’ve met your soulmates, but who could they be? You’d been with Steve and Sam for the past few days, but you’d never been in a position to see your flowers. You had also come into contact with a few people in the towns you passed through and the Hydra agents you had taken out at the base. Oh god, what if it was one of them?
No, it couldn’t be them. Flowers were a representative of the people they were attached to.
Roses were traditional and often represented love. Those values had to represent someone you knew, or had met. It wouldn’t represent the Hydra agents, nothing they did was to do with love, and it wasn’t traditional in the true sense of the word.
You hadn’t been in contact with anyone in the towns long enough to determine whether they were like a rose. However, something told you that they weren’t a fit. Sam was not a rose at all, with his youthful playfulness, you wouldn’t be surprised if his flower was a purple crocus. And so, that left one person.
Steve would be perfectly represented perfectly by a rose. He was a traditional man. He followed and believed in the tradition of his country, which was also shown on his Captain America uniform. White, purity and innocence. Red, hardiness and valour. Blue, vigilance, perseverance and justice. Those were values which shone through in Steve clearly. He was pure, brave and just, fighting for what was right, even if it broke the rules.
Of all the people you have come into contact with, Steve was the mostly likely to be your soulmate.
Yet, he already has a soulmate, Bucky. Then again, you had a second soulmate… it was possible that you’re the second soulmate to the both of them, even though Steve didn’t mention having another soulmate.
Your knowledge of Bucky Barnes was limited to that which you had learned by scouring databases. He was a survivor of Hydra, having survived the brainwashing and torture they put him through. If that wasn’t a show of strength, you didn’t know what was. Like a sunflower, he was strong and sturdy, he managed to stay standing when Hydra and, at times, the world tried to bring him down.
So… as an educated guess… Steve and Bucky were your soulmates.
Your aversion of soulmates was because of the danger that you could bring them. In an attempt to be used against you, they could be harmed. Though Steve and Bucky were both super soldiers, there were still ways that they could be hurt in order to get to you.
There was no way that you could keep this from them. They would see their soulmate tattoos and would know that it was you. You would need to get away quickly, before they put the pieces together and realised it was you. You had to get away before they convinced you to stay with them.
You had to get moving.
Shaking your head, you quickly finished drying off before getting dressed. You dropped the towel in the small cubby just outside of the bathroom, labelled ‘laundry’. You quickly grab your bag and hurry back to the main area of the jet, dropping the bag near the jet’s door.
You headed towards the cockpit where Steve, Bucky and Sam sat together. As you got closer, you could hear them talking to each other, and you slowed your pace to be able to listen to their hushed conversation.
“No, I don’t think we could stop her,” Steve sighs. “Her organisation has listed her as expendable, and she’s going to want to know why. She’s either going to find them and find out why, probably resulting in us getting called in to deal with her. Or they’re going to send her on a suicide mission before she gets the chance to start investigating.”
“Or they’re just going to put a hit out on her” Bucky suggested. “Either way, she’ll be dead within a month.”
“Guys, come on, there’s gotta be something we can do” Sam pleaded, his voice filled with disbelief.
“I don’t think there is anything we can do” Steve replies.
“There’s not” you say, stepping into the cockpit and gaining their attention. “Every road leads back to me being dead. I can either die knowing why I became expendable, or I die without knowing.”
“That’s not right, man” Sam shook his head.
“It’s just business” you shrugged before changing the subject. “The shower’s free… Better get in there, might not be much hot water left.”
For a moment it seemed like Sam wanted to argue but then he sighed heavily and stood up, leaving the cockpit. You took Sam’s vacated seat, looking between the two seats in front of you and out of the cockpit window. The sky was mostly clear, a sparse patterning of fluffy white clouds across a bright blue sky.
Your eyes trailed from the window to the people sitting just in front of you. Steve and Bucky. Your soulmates.
When you were younger, you had looked for them. You had wanted to find them, to have the other parts of your soul. And now here they were, right in front of you, and you were saying nothing to them. It was very unlikely that they knew you were the missing piece to their puzzle, or they would have said something. At least, Steve would have said something.
You would need to find a way to survive this trip and disappear before they could see their tattoos.
Bucky’s eyes followed you as you left the cockpit after asking how long it would take to get back to New York. You seemed to be impatient to return, sighing when he had told you it would be just over an hour.
“You going to speak with Tony?” Bucky asked, turning his gaze back to Steve.
“Yeah” he confirmed, glancing over his shoulder towards where Y/N has disappeared. “Gonna see if Tony can pull some strings and get her transferred to us, also see if he can find out why she’s now ‘expendable’.”
“Do you think he’ll be able to do it?” he questioned, leaning forward to flip a switch on the control panel.
“We’ve gotta try, Buck. She’s a nice girl. I think… I think she wants a quiet life. She hasn’t found her soulmate yet, she doesn’t want to bring her soulmate into this kind of work” Steve told him. “If we could get her out of this situation, she could retire and find her soulmate.”
“Okay,” Bucky nodded, pulling his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “I’ll make sure Tony is at the compound for when we get back.”
Bucky wasn’t known to be the softest by those on the team, but Steve knew different. Steve and Bucky were soulmates, and they had been best-friends for years before they decided to take their relationship to the next logical step.
Bucky was the romantic in the relationship, at least behind closed doors. He would cook Steve dinner whenever they weren’t on a mission, a mixture of old favourites and new dishes they wanted to try. Steve would often find little notes around their brownstone house, sometimes Bucky reminding him of something Steve needed to do or, other times, just telling Steve that he loves him. Steve was never a big dancer, back in the day, but Bucky loved to put on the record player and pull him into a gentle sway, both of their eyes closed as they enjoyed the company of each other and the music. Every time Steve was getting close to finishing his book, a fresh sketchbook would appear with new pencils.
The thought of living without his soulmate was not something Bucky wanted to experience. He loved Steve, loved him more than anyone in the world. A world without Steve was not something Bucky would ever be able to think about.
If this woman had the chance to find her soulmate, however miniscule that chance was, then he wanted her to go out and take it. You could live without your soulmate, especially if you hadn’t met them yet, but you shouldn’t have to.
Bucky and Steve went without each other for seventy years. Yes, Bucky was unaware for most of the separation, but it was still something which made him grimace and his stomach turn. He could never go without Steve again, and he would never want to.
Finding your soulmate changed your life, though it may not be realised at first. Everything stays the same and yet, at the same time, everything changes completely. Bucky could hardly remember a time before Steve, but he knew that changes occurred. Just before he goes to bed and as soon as he wakes up, his thoughts are of Steve. He knows that before he met Steve, his bedtime and morning thoughts always changed from day-to-day.
But there was something missing. Bucky loved Steve more than anything in the world, more than life itself, but there was one thing missing. Bucky and Steve were missing a soulmate. One of their flowers was yet to gain its colouring.
Bucky has come across many people in his long life. He’s met people, fought beside people, fought against them… killed them. Bucky thought it was a miracle that his final flower had yet to colour. He thanked whatever god was out there that his flower had never bloomed after one of his Winter Soldier missions.
It was one thing to lose your soulmate, but to be the cause of that loss… Bucky would not have been able to survive it, not even with Steve by his side.
Luckily, he hadn’t hurt them, whoever they were.
Both Bucky and Steve couldn’t wait to meet their final part. There was one piece missing until the puzzle of their life was complete, until their little family was complete.
They had no idea who their soulmate could be. While they were obviously attracted to each other, they could both admit that their attraction was not limited to just guys. They were comfortable enough in their relationship to be able to appreciate the appearance of others without jealousy.
While on missions, it could be said that Bucky had the patience of a saint. However, when it came to finding their final ‘piece’, Bucky couldn’t wait. Steve had often said to him ‘It’ll happen, Buck, you’ve just got to wait’ but Bucky struggled. He wanted them to all be together, and he hoped it would happen soon.
“You know, she hacked Sam’s phone in five minutes” Steve told him, pulling him from his thoughts. “She was picking on him a lot, actually. Reminded me of you.”
Bucky let out a small, breathless chuckle. “Bet he wasn’t pleased with that.”
“Hmm” Steve chuckled. “She teased him with bird jokes.”
“I feel like you’re trying to get at something” Bucky said after a couple of moments, eyeing him carefully.
Steve sighed heavily, shaking his head. “I don’t know, Buck, it’s… strange? She has similarities to you but, at the same time, is different… If it’s possible, spending the last couple of days with her made me miss you even more.”
“Really?” Bucky smiled, reaching for his partner’s hand. “Can’t go a few days without me?”
Steve’s thumb passed over the back of Bucky’s hand, giving him a fond look. Bucky grinned at his boyfriend, lifting his arm up to press a kiss to the back of Steve’s hand. Steve shook his head, a blush still coming to his cheeks after all these years he’s been besides Bucky.
“Don’t worry, Stevie, we’re both off of missions for the next few weeks. You don’t have to go without me for a while” Bucky assured him, tugging him into a sweet kiss.
“The poor guy, he’s gonna get sick of you” Sam said, coming back into the cockpit.
“I’m already sick of you” Bucky said, looking at the other man over his shoulder.
“Na, I know you’ve missed me” Sam teased before turning his attention to Steve. “The showers free.”
“We’ll be landing in twenty minutes” Steve glanced at the clock. “I’ll just wait until we get back to the compound.”
Bucky smiled to himself at Steve’s decision, glancing at his partner who gives him a smirk back. Steve could shower in twenty minutes, however, that would be twenty minutes separated from Bucky and he didn’t want that.
“Flip that switch” Bucky instructed Steve, nodding to the panel in front of him, as they got ready to land the quinjet.
The quinjet landed with a gentle jolt, the engines beginning to power down as Bucky reached up to press the button to open the jet’s doors. Ensuring that everything was switched off, Bucky got out of his seat and offer Steve a hand up.
Steve groaned as he stood up, stretching his arms above his head and letting his back realign into place. He’d been sat in stiff seats, nearly constantly, for over twenty-four hours. He was more than happy to be home and to have the next few weeks to decompress and let his body relax.
“Come on, you need that shower” Bucky said, resting his hand on his partners shoulder, leaning down to grab his bag.
“Mm,” Steve smirked, looking him up and down. “You going to join me?”
Bucky smiled, shaking his head. “What am I going to do with you.”
“I need to direct Y/N to a guest room first, then we can go. We’ll talk to Tony after” Steve decided, leading Bucky from the cockpit.
As they moved towards the exit, Steve and Bucky looked around for you. You weren’t there and your bag was missing too, and when they got off the jet, you weren’t on the landing bay. Steve lifted his arm, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked for you. Bucky walked around the side of the jet, but it was as if you were gone.
“Where is she?” he asked, spinning in a circle to see if he could spot you.
“Sam, have you seen Y/N?” Steve asked, seeing Sam talking to another pilot.
“What?” Sam said, taking a moment to process the question. “She was here a moment ago.”
“The woman?” the pilot interjected, looking between the three men. “She went that way.”
The three men turned to look towards where the pilot had pointed. It was an open area, leading towards a forest that back onto a major highway. They couldn’t see you in the field, and you were probably deep into the trees by now. Bucky didn’t know much about you, but he knew you were well trained. Though you had a head start of, at most, ten minutes, there was unlikely a chance that they would be able to find you.
“Well, that’s just great” Bucky nodded, turning back to Steve and Sam. “How are we gonna get Tony to arrange a transfer if she just disappears on us.”
“We know where she’s planning on going” Steve protested. “We’ll talk to Tony first and then go and get her. It would be better to find her once Tony agrees, at least then we can tell her that she definitely has somewhere to go.”
“I’m go find Tony and get him started at looking into her” Sam said, heading towards the compound.
Bucky followed Steve back to their allocated room in the compound. Though they didn’t live onsite, Tony had ensured they had their own room on the compound. Sometimes they arrived back from missions in the early hours in the morning and rather than travelling back to their home in Brooklyn, they would spend the night at the compound. It also came in handy when they needed to shower the dirt from a long mission away.
The room was fairly simple. A king-sized bed rested against the wall opposite the bedroom door, framed by two bedside tables. A door on the left wall led to a small walk-in closet, holding a mixture of clothes which could fit both Steve and Bucky. A door to the right led to a bathroom which had a double-sized shower and a counter with two sinks and mirrors.
Upon entering the room, Steve went straight to the bathroom. Bucky placed the bag on the bed, pulling the zip open. Grabbing the dirty clothes from inside, he threw them into the wash basket beside the door. The small sketchpad was set on the bed, along with few pencils which were at the bottom of the bag. Finally, Bucky took out Steve’s phone and the charger, plugging it in and setting it on the bedside table.
Bucky entered into the bathroom, eyes focused on the shower where Steve was facing him with his head tilted back, washing out his shampoo. His eyes travelled over his boyfriend’s body, his tongue coming out to wet his lips as he felt a warmth flood through him.
Steve was a beautiful man, and Bucky thought he was beautiful even before the serum. Though the serum made Steve healthier, and to gain a lot of muscle and strength, he was still the same Steve Rogers. Though his face had widened slightly, he still looked the same. When Bucky looked at him, he still saw that skinny guy who used to pick fights, but that was in a good way.
He loved the way Steve used to be, but he loves him just as much now. What Steve looked like, small or large, didn’t matter to Bucky. He would love Steve no matter what he looked like; he would be by his side until the end of the line.
Bucky toed off his shoes and socks, quickly pulling his shirt over his head. Within seconds, his pants were dropped, and he was pulling the door of the shower open. He stepped into the shower, his hands falling to his lover’s hips and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Steve’s collarbone.
Steve let out a small sigh, his hand falling to the back of Bucky’s neck, fingers threading through his hair. He tugged gently, pulling his head up and pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s. Bucky moaned into the kiss, his flesh hand travelling to the small of Steve’s back to pulling him closer.
Steve broke the kiss, trailing his lips down Bucky’s neck. Bucky’s grip on Steve tightened, his head tipping back and his eyes falling closed. His lips travelled to Bucky’s chest, biting gently at the skin just below his collarbone.
His tongue came out from between his lips, tracing the red petals of the rose on Bucky’s chest. Steve’s rose. He remembered the first time he saw it, how happy he was that it was Bucky, his best friend. Honestly, they had known they were soulmates before even seeing their flowers, they could just feel it in their souls. At the time, they both knew they wouldn’t be together, not for a while yet at least, but it strengthened their friendship even more.
And now, Steve got to see his mark on his lover every day. It has developed from being a sign of their friendship to being a sign of their love. They were soulmates in every sense of the word.
“I love you” Steve pressed a kiss to the rose before travelling further down. “Bucky….”
“I love you, too” Bucky said, giving his hip a squeeze.
“No, Bucky, your chest” Steve pulled away, eyes focused on his boyfriend’s soulmate tattoo.
Bucky’s soulmate tattoo was fully coloured in. Between the rose belonging to him and the sunflower belonging to him, was a plumeria. It had once been a colourless outline, but now it was coloured in. The edges of the petals were a dark pink, becoming lighter as the colour progressed down the petal until it became almost white before turning yellow, which darked into its orange-red centre.
“Bucky, it’s coloured in” Steve told him, tapping the other side of his chest to get his attention.
“What?” Bucky asked, looking down at his chest and blinking the water out of your eyes.
“You’ve met them, Buck” his eyes were focused on the flower, wide in disbelief. “Who is it?”
“I don’t know” Bucky shrugged, running his fingers over the newly coloured flower. “I haven’t met anyone new except…Steve, turn around.”
Bucky didn’t wait for Steve to do as he was order, and physically turned his partner around. There, in the centre of Steve’s back, was his soulmate tattoo. All three flowers were coloured in, a mixture of reds, yellows, pinks and whites. It was beautiful.
Bucky and Steve had met their missing piece.
Bucky’s mind was both hectic with thoughts and yet completely clear. A part of his brain was clear enough to put the pieces together. He knew it was you, who else could it be? Bucky’s soulmate tattoo wasn’t coloured in before he left to pick up Steve, Sam and you, and you were the only new person he had met since leaving his room to begin his small mission.
“Well?” Steve asked him, looking over his shoulder.
“Yeah, its coloured in” Bucky confirmed. “Oh, Stevie, it’s beautiful… It’s Y/N, it’s got to be.”
“Y/N” Steve repeated, nodding at Bucky’s conclusion. “She’s the only one we’ve both come into contact with.”
“Steve…she’s gone” Bucky reminded him, turning Steve around to face him. “She left.”
Steve reached behind him, shutting the water off, and brushing past Bucky to get out of the shower. “But we know where she’s planning on going. Come on, we need to speak with Tony.”
Bucky followed Steve out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around is waist. They went into the bedroom, Steve going to the closet. He pulled out an outfit blindly, throwing it to Bucky before reaching back to grab a set of clothes for himself.
After quickly drying themselves and getting dressed, Bucky and Steve left their room to find Tony. They found him in the compound’s kitchen, stirring sugar into a cup of coffee while listening to Pepper, his soulmate, read something from the tablet in her hand.
“Tony,” Steve greeted, walking straight to the island that Tony sat at.
“Hi, Pep,” Bucky greeted, giving the woman an apologetic smile for his partner cutting her off.
“What’s up, Capsicle?” Tony asked, sipping his coffee.
“We need to find Y/N” he replied. “She’s going after the leader of her organisation, and she’s going to get herself killed. We need to get her out, Tony, you must have a way of getting her out.”
“Y/N Y/L/N” Tony began, pulling his phone out of his front breast pocket. “She was recruited, if you can even call it that, at nine years old. She was transported routinely throughout facilities for training; Soye-en-Septaine, Vilyuysk, Letlhakane, Keswick, Feliz Natal, Wildrose…. The list goes on. She completed her first solo mission at fifteen. They continued to send her on missions while keeping up with her training.” He placed his phone on the island, turning to look at the two men opposite him. “I started as soon as Sam found me. Why the sudden rush?”
Steve and Bucky shared a look, a silent conversation taking place before Bucky gave a subtle nod. Steve sighed, looking Tony, to Pepper, to Tony again. With a final glance at Bucky, Steve explained the situation.
You are their soulmate, the final piece to their puzzle. They needed to find you, and quickly. They knew you were searching for the person who ran your organisation and, in their position, with Tony on their side, they would be able to find them before you. If they could get to the leader before you, figure out why you’re now consider expendable, and get you transferred to work with them… Then maybe you could all be together.
“So, we need to find the director of the organisation which ‘employs’ her” Tony nods. “That’s a tightly guarded secret. The highest person of authority I know is Amelia Strauss, but she’s nowhere near the top of the food chain. I’ll get FRIDAY on it.”
It took thirty-seven hours for Tony to find the director of the organisation, which would be considered an extraordinarily long time for him. However, Tony had found the director, Michael Schabas, after scouring through hundreds of documents.
After finding his name, it took a further ninety minutes to find his whereabouts, and for Bucky and Steve to board a jet. While the two super soldiers went to visit Mr Schabas, with the hopes of intercepting you, Tony would continue to dig into the organisation in the hopes of finding out why you had become expendable.
Bucky switched the auto-pilot on before turning to Steve. “Tell me about her. What’s she like?”
“She was careful not to reveal too much of herself” Steve replied, rubbing at his hair with a sigh. “But… she was nice, smart. She made Sam change his phone’s passcode and Angela’s name in his phone. she told him not to put her picture as his lock screen. She teased Sam a lot, like I said before. It was like you were there, except it was more obvious that it was friendly. And she knew that we had found each other. I don’t know how, but she said she could feel that we were together. And when you were mentioned… she said you deserved to be happy and live your life.”
“So… you think she would be okay with us being her soulmates?” Bucky asked quietly, biting his bottom lip in worry.
“Yeah, Buck, of course” Steve reassured his partner, taking his hand. “The only reason she didn’t want to find her soulmates was because she didn’t want them to be in danger, us to be in danger.”
“You’re sure?” he checked.
“I’m sure” Steve nodded. “It like how we’re worried for her now… And she doesn’t want any of us to be used against each other. Once she knows that we won’t be in danger, she’ll accept us, and we’ll be together.”
“Okay,” Bucky accepted with a small, hesitant smile, squeezing Steve’s hand.
“Hey, guys, there’s something you should know” Tony’s voice came over the radio, drawing them from their conversations. “I figured out why they want to get rid of Y/N and it’s not good. Natasha, Sam and I are suiting up and we’ve getting on the fastest jet to catch up with you guys.”
You let out a heavy breath, sitting back in the desk chair. Your elbow rested on the arm of the chair, your hand covering your mouth. Your mind buzzed at what you just read, struggling to comprehend the new information.
It was so well hidden; it wasn’t surprising that you didn’t see it.
But now you knew, now you understood why you were expendable. And you weren’t just expendable, they wanted you to be taken out. As soon as possible.
It didn’t take much longer for you to find him. Michael Schabas.
You slammed the lid of the laptop closed, grabbing the gun from the desk and standing you from the desk. You left the room, stepping on the papers and over the dead body of agent who had opposed you.
You stood in the empty elevator, stone faced and back straight. Michael Schabas was a highly respected businessman to the wider public but, behind closed doors, he was the director of your organisation who called all the shots. His office was located on one of the top floors of a high-rise building in central London.
The silver doors of the elevator opened, revealing a small reception room which held a desk with two love seats and a coffee table in front of it. Just behind the desk and to the left was a door which led to Schabas’ office.
You left the lift, walking around the couches where a woman and two men sat. You ignored the woman sitting at the receptionists’ desk as she tried to call you, opening the door to the office and entering.
Michael Schabas was a small, light skinned man with dyed brown hair with the silver roots coming through in patches. As you closed the door behind you, Schabas stood up. His shirt was tight against his large stomach, the belt obviously on the loosest notch and trousers had a button extender.
“Who are you?” He questioned before turning his attention to shout for his secretary. “Gina! Gina! Call security!”
“I would expect you to know the name of the woman you signed a death warrant for” you said, pulling a handgun from the back of your jeans and pointing it towards him. “Take a closer look at me… are you sure you don’t recognise me?”
Schabas lifted his hands, holding them level with his head as he watched you carefully. He took a step back, stumbling over his feet and grabbing the back of his chair to steady himself. Sweat beaded along his hairline, his breathing slightly laboured as he watched you.
“You’re scared” you observed, scoffing in disbelief. “It ironic, considering everything.”
“I don’t know who you are” he insisted.
“Y/N Y/L/N” you informed him. “Does that ring any bells?”
The office door opened behind you and you quickly stepped to the right, turning so that you could see both the door and Schabas. You quickly pull out a second gun, pointing it at the men who enter the office.
“Whoa, Whoa,” Steve hurried to say, holding his hands up to show he meant no harm. “Its us, Y/n, its Steve and Bucky. Put down the gun.”
You lowered the gun that was pointed at the Captain and Soldier but kept the other pointed at Schabas. Steve and Bucky entered the room properly, keeping their eyes on you. They watched you carefully, though made no move to rush you for gun.
“Y/N, put the gun down” Steve said softly, his gaze going from you, to the gun, to Schabas and back.
“He’s the one who decided that I was expendable, and do you know why?” You asked Steve, your voice shaking with the anger which coursed through your blood. “Did you know he has a whole list of people he wasn’t ‘written off’ because he knew they wouldn’t follow the same ideals as him? Did you know that nearly half the people on that list are dead already?”
“We know, Y/N, we know” Bucky assured you. “We began looking into the organisation as soon as you left, Tony ran extensive background searches. We know about it all. But, doll, trust me, you don’t want to shoot him. We need him, we have to know about the others involved and we can only do that if he’s alive.”
“But he’s with Hydra, Bucky!” you protested through gritted teeth. “He’s with Hydra, and he’s been carrying out their missions using the organisation, using me. He wanted Hydra’s been getting more power in the organisation which means they needed to weed out opposition, like me. That’swhy I’m expendable.”
The very thought that you had been indirectly working for Hydra made you feel sick to the stomach. You weren’t, by any means, an angel but you would never willingly, knowingly, act for such a thing as Hydra. You moral against such a group was what led you to be made expendable and while the whole situation angered you, you took pride in knowing that they considered you a threat.
“And that Hydra base we took out?” You spoke to Steve, kissing your teeth and rolling your eyes. “That was a cover. They were the fall-on guys to hide the ‘bigger picture’ of what was really going on… That my whole organisation is full of Hydra agents, over two hundred of them.”
“We know,” Steve said. “Sam, Tony and the others are after them. We’ll all be after them and we won’t stop until every one of them is caught but, Y/N, you can’t kill this man.”
“Trust me, doll,” Bucky took a step closer, reaching for you. “Killing him won’t make any of it better. I know that, and I need you to know that too. I know you want to kill him, I understand, but killing doesn’t solve everything. And it won’t solve this… Give me the gun.”
You wanted Schabas dead for the treason he had committed against humanity, you really did. Bucky’s words ran through your head though. If a man who was controlled, tortured, by Hydra for seventy years was telling you to not pull the trigger… surely you should listen.
Your eyes stinging, you allowed Bucky to take the guns from your hands. He turned, passing them to an agent who was stood just outside of the office. Steve steps up to Schabas, turning him around and shoving him against the glass wall, the man letting out a groan of pain as his nose hits the glass. His hands are cuffed behind his back and then Steve is telling another agent to have him transferred to a jet to go back to the US.
You’re left alone with the super soldiers, both of them standing together and watching you as you sniffle. You wipe at your eyes with the cuff of your sleeve, unable to meet the eyes of your soulmates. They had to know by now, it had been almost two days.
You didn’t know what to say but you know that they wouldn’t want you, why would they? All they knew about you was that you were their soulmate, and you were, though unwittingly, an agent of Hydra all along. You probably made them sick.
“So…” You began, staring at your feet. “You came.”
“Of course, we did” Steve sighs, taking a step closer to you. He takes a deep breath before continuing, “We know that you’re our soulmate, Y/N.
“I’m sorry” You burst into tears, a hand coming up to cover your mouth as you tried to contain the sobs which wrecked your chest. When Bucky moved to step closer to you, you stumble back into the wall, curling in on yourself. “You don’t deserve to have someone like me as your soulmate, I’m so sorry. I know I’m not good enough, I’m sorry.”
With your eyes focused on the floor, you missed the look of absolute heartbreak pass over the men’s faces. How could you think that of yourself? To them, evening having known you for the equivalent of mere hours, you were perfect. You were beautiful, kind, smart, brave. And there was probably a lot more to you that they would need to learn. You would no doubt exceed their wants and dreams for a soulmate.
“Don’t say that about yourself, Y/N” Bucky’s voice was hard, though you could hear the hurt. “You’re perfect. You’re all we’ve ever wanted. We’ve been waiting for long for you.”
“I know you’re scared, we’re all scared” Steve began, watching you carefully. “It’s normal to worry about your soulmate, especially in our line of work, but we want you, Y/N. And, sweetheart, believe me: you’re good enough for us. Too good.”
“Please, let us prove that this could work. That we can be together and be safe. Let us show you that we deserve you and that you deserve us” Bucky begged.
Steve and Bucky were super soldiers, some of the strongest men in the world. You suppose, thinking on it, it may be silly for you to worry that they could be used against you. They were some of Earth’s mightiest heroes, more than capable of protecting themselves. Protecting themselves against their own enemies and any which may whish to use them against you.
And you couldn’t lie, you wanted them. You wanted your soulmates. You hardly knew them and yet the ache you had felt over the last two days was still strong. You had missed them, without really knowing them, and had longed for them. You wanted them to hold you, to love you. Would it be so wrong to be selfish and to give them a chance?
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you gave a slow nod.
Bucky rushed forward, pulling you to his chest and wrapping his arms around you. Your nose was buried into his neck and his scent filled your senses, calming you in a way that only a soulmate could. Steve stepped up beside you both, wrapping his arms around the both of you.
“We’ve got you doll, its all going to be okay” Bucky assured you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
Steve’s hand rubbed over your back in soft, soothing motions. “We promise, Y/N, everything will be okay.”
The future was going to be difficult, but your soulmates accepted you, wanted you, and you were more than willing to try and move on with them. You had a future ahead of you, where you could be Y/N, not a pseudo, and where you could live your life, happily, with our soulmates. It was a life you intended to live.
Tagged: @sskhair @buckyownsmylife @ladyfallonavenger @sagechanoafterdark @wandering-spiritash @pinkdiamond1016
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Has anyone made a Soulmate AU fic with the song A Thousand Years?
Preferably Bucky x fem!reader
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Life Without Colour (PART FOUR)
Soulmate AU: Your vision is in black and white until you meet your soulmate. You and your boyfriend, Steve Rogers, aren’t each others soulmates but you love each other. He introduces you to his friends, the Avengers, and a very odd thing happens.
Characters: Steve Rogers x Plus Size Female Reader, Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Female Reader
Taglist: @domainoflostsouls forgetthisbull handon-h-art yourspecialcrush giulsgotmusic mrsbarnes-rogers luosymekawa linzeyzarcone forgetthisbull calamityreads talgra
Warnings: this one takes a darker turn; trigger warnings for kidnapping, drugged, threats/slight violence, Hydra, angst
Note: this is over 6000 words, enjoy!! x
A few weeks had passed since you first saw colour; a few weeks have passed since you and Steve talked through everything and made peace with Bucky Barnes being your soulmate which mean a few weeks have passed since you last saw or spoke to Bucky Barnes. After your 3am phone call, you hadn’t seen him. You’d told Steve about the phone call when you were both awake the next morning, telling him as much of the conversation as you could remember. He seemed fine with it, knowing about Bucky’s nightmares and erratic sleeping schedule. In fact, he appreciated the gesture that Bucky reached out to ask what you were comfortable with. What Steve appreciated more though was your honesty and the fact you were straight with Bucky and told him that you and Steve were happy together and nothing would change that.
Everything was fine with you and Steve, every issue had been ironed out and in fact, the two of you had never been closer. You were truly grateful for Steve’s forgiveness and now, the guilt had almost fully disappeared. He had helped you to heal that wound and you had helped to heal his wounds with trust; you had proved yourself to be honest and that it was just one slip up.
Life had been good those few weeks, you spent more time with Nat and got to know about her budding relationship with Bruce. You’d seen the team a bit more than usual as well. No one else - besides Nat and Sam - knew about the soulmate fiasco and truthfully, it wasn’t their business to know anyway. Bucky hadn’t been around much, he’d called Steve a couple of times just to say that he was doing his own thing for a while as per your wishes. Steve was thankful to Bucky for providing that space even if it meant he had only seen his best friend a handful of times since he returned from Wakanda.
Things were good. Until they weren’t.
Steve and the some of the team got dragged to a mission across the country. It was a big one; Hydra were back and trying to infiltrate the systems. Brock Rumlow, or Crossbones as he referred to himself now, was after Steve and he wouldn’t stop until he got him. You didn’t really know what was happening with the mission, Steve was never allowed to tell you a lot about the missions, you just knew that it was a big one and it was dangerous. You hated when Steve was away on a mission; you hated the not knowing part of it all but you supposed it’s what you deserved for falling in love with Captain America.
You didn’t know how serious it was until you had been bringing the groceries into yours and Steve’s apartment and saw four men - three very large, hulking brutes of men - waiting for you. The scream that rose in your throat never found its way out before a gloved hand was forced over your mouth, holding a rag with something strong smelling over your mouth and nose. Brock Rumlow had you pinned in his arms, forcing you to breathe in the chemicals. You tried to fight against him as the fear radiated through your body, trying to put some of those self defence techniques that Natasha had taught you to good use but he was too strong and everything felt fuzzy around the edges. Your eyes were wide as you struggled, trying to escape, trying to scream; trying to do anything that would help to save you. Your heart pounded painfully against your ribcage and you could feel the panic set in when your vision began to blur. You could see the three men approach, weapons in hand but a gruff voice in your ear said, “Stop struggling and we won’t hurt you.” Whether you wanted to stop struggling or not wasn’t up to you but instead, the choice had been taken away and given to the substance that you were breathing in. As the darkness crept in, you heard a faint voice say, “Get Rogers on the phone now.”
Flashes of light, snippets of sound and quick seconds of vision was what you experienced for a few hours as you drifted in and out of consciousness. It wasn’t until a loud bang erupted a few rooms away that you really began to come back to life. Squinting in the low light, you blinked hard, trying to focus on something to figure out where you were. Wherever you were, it was dark and dim and it smelled faintly of the explosion of fireworks on the 5th of November.
You weren’t hurt, your neck ached from the position you’d been in for what you could only assume was the last few hours. You went to move when you realised that your hands and feet were bound. That’s when you really began to wake up. What the fuck? Your memory was hazy but you remembered Rumlow and his goons in your apartment. You pulled at your hands, trying to get loose but the bonds that tied your hands were too tight. Squinting, you looked around the room, it was dark, with a metal door and a few wooden boxes in the corner. You were sitting on a wooden chair, hands and feet bound to the arms and legs of it.
Your mind thought of Steve, oh god, Steve. You knew this had been Rumlow’s doing, what if he had gotten to Steve? What if- what if he- No. You couldn’t think like that. Steve had been on a mission states away from you. Rumlow had come to you because he obviously couldn’t get to Steve, he was drawing Steve out and you were the bait. Steve’s going to find you, (y/n). He said he’ll always protect you and he’ll keep that promise.
The more you panicked, the more you began to struggle; trying to break free of the ropes. Your breathing was quick and ragged as you struggled, your heart rate increasing with every passing second. Tears welled in your eyes as your mind raced with the horrors of what was going to happen to you. You froze when you could hear grunting outside, it sounded close.
Fear kicked you hard in the stomach, making you feel light headed and nauseous. You’d never been this terrified before. You thought that the most you could be scared was that time a spider ran across the bed when Steve was in a shower and you had to deal with getting it out of the apartment but no, tied to a chair after being drugged and kidnapped with explosions and not knowing what the fuck was going on... yeah, that’s a whole new level of fear. You tried to slow your breathing as you strained to listen to the commotion outside of the room you occupied. You could hear grunts and what sounded like punches before the metal door of the room was thrown open and there stood Sam Wilson. A sob got caught in your throat as you saw him.
He pressed his earpiece as he rushed to you, kneeling to help untie you, “I got her, Steve. Second floor, take a right, fifth door down. She’s okay.”
“Oh my god,” you sobbed as relief flooded your senses, “Oh my god, Sam!”
Sam murmured words of comfort as he worked on the ropes that bounded you to the chair, “It’s okay, they’re not gonna hurt you. We’ve got you now.”
He managed to get the last one untied when Steve ran into the room. He wore his Captain America gear sans the mask and carried the shield. As soon as he saw you, he tossed his shield to the side and rushed to your aid. Sam stepped to the side, picking up the shield and playing around with it as he allowed you two a moment to reunite. He was muttering about how the shield was much lighter than it looked.
“Steve,” you whimpered, throwing your arms around your boyfriend and allowing him to pull you up. He held you tightly, breathing heavy into your neck.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your neck, “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”
“Sorry to interrupt but we gotta move,” Sam said after a minute, “before we get any more company.”
“Are you okay to walk?” Steve asks you, pulling you back to look at you, “Are you hurt?”
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you say, wiping your eyes, “Tired but I can make it.”
The three of you hurry out, Steve tells you not to look at the bodies on the floor but you do and you instantly regret it. “Are they-”
“Knocked out,” Sam says, answering your question before you finish it, “but won’t be for long so we gotta hurry.”
Everything’s a bit of a blur as Steve and Sam usher you out, careful to take you the safest and quickest path. You feel queasy after seeing the blood and the carnage of the few HYDRA men so your eyes are trained to the ground until Steve has you safe and sitting in the quinjet.
Steve doesn’t let go of you, always touching or holding onto you in some way or another. You’re silent as Sam begins to fly the jet. Steve’s talking to you but you can’t focus on anything other than his hand in yours, “I’m tired,” you whisper, “I’m so tired.” You lay your head on Steve’s shoulder and darkness quickly encapsulates you.
You gasp awake, jolting upwards, “Whoa, (y/n), it’s okay!” A voice says quickly, “You’re okay, you’re safe remember. It’s Steve, sweetheart; it’s Steve. Look at me, (y/n).”
Your mind whirs, the tendrils of the nightmare still creeping around in your brain. Hands on your face force your eyes to stop fleeting from wall to wall and instead focus on the person in front of you. Steve stares at you, telling you that everything’s okay and that you’re safe now. Steve’s hands are on either side of your face as he makes you look at him. You blink hard, as your eyes struggle to focus on him. You hear the rapid beeping of the machine and you register that it’s your measuring your heartrate. His face finally sharpens and you can see him properly now.
“Slow breath in, sweetheart. You’re safe, I promise you. Copy me.” Steve takes a deep breath and you follow suit, trying to calm the rapid beating of your heart. Steve repeats to you that you’re in hospital and you’re safe, “No one can hurt you in here.”
You look away from him after a few seconds to look around you and sure enough, you are in hospital. The walls are pure white, too white and you’re in the hospital bed, “How did I get here?”
“We got you and you passed out again, I took you here just to make sure that whatever drug they gave you was out of your system. It’s leaving so you’ll be okay, sweetheart.” He brushes your hair back, “How are you feeling?”
“I don’t ever want to be an Avenger, I know that’s for damn sure,” you mutter as you close your eyes and fall back against the pillows, “How you guys deal with the fear is beyond me.”
Steve smiles but it’s sad. You open one eye, “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it. You get some rest and I’ll be right here, (y/n). I’m not going anywhere. Doctors want to keep you in overnight just to make sure it’s all out your system, okay? I’m going to wait by your side all night and don’t worry, we have agents at every door in the hospital.”
“Rumlow?” You asked him, voice trembling, “Where’s he?”
“SHIELD are closing in on him, sweetheart,” he sighs, stroking your hair back gently, “Don’t worry... He can’t get you in here.”
As Steve looked over you as you slept, Sam came into the room, “Coffee delivery.” Steve sipped at the hot coffee happily, “How is she?”
“Had a nightmare about it but she’s okay. She’s scared.” Steve’s eyes were trained on you as though we were watching a newborn infant to check its breathing, “God, what if we hadn’t found her in time?”
“But we did and we got her out. She’s safe, Steve.”
Steve shook his head, “But for how long?” He asked as he rubbed his face tiredly with one hand, “How long before Rumlow or HYDRA or someone else targets (y/n) to get to me?”
Sam swallows, “What are you thinking then?”
“She has to go somewhere safe, somewhere away from the chaos and the danger.”
Steve shrugs, “I don’t know... At least until we know all of Rumlow and his men are locked up.”
“You’ll go with her?”
It’s a big decision and he knows that you should be involved in it but he knows exactly what you’ll say; you’ll say that you want to stay with him and stay by his side even if it means living in terror of every bump in the night. He had been reckless, Steve had thought he was untouchable, he thought that you would’ve been safe but Steve underestimated the lengths these sorts of guys go to in order to win.
He shakes his head, hating the decision that he’s about to make but it’s for the best. It’s the only thing he knows that will protect you; it’s the only way he’s happy with you leaving, “No... but I know someone who will.”
Sam shakes his head, knowing exactly who he means and he raises his eyebrows, “You’re kidding, right? That’s a stupid decision, Steve, and you know it.”
Steve scoffs, “I wish... but... he’s strong, he’s good in a fight and I know that he’ll protect her no matter what.”
“But what if... what if they... you know?”
Steve takes a breath and releases it slowly, “Then I’ll deal with that when the time comes. I need to keep (y/n) safe and this is the only way...”
Sam’s hand is heavy on Steve’s shoulder as they watch you, “She’s not gonna like that decision.”
Steve laughs, knowing fine well that you will fight against the decision for all its worth, “Oh, yeah, I know. Probably won’t forgive me in a hurry either.” Steve stands up, “Will you watch her so I can go make a phone call? I’ll just be outside the door if you need me.”
Sam nods, taking Steve’s seat, as Steve grabs his phone from his jacket, dialling one number. He waits outside the room, just across from the two agents that Fury had placed outside of (y/n)’s hospital room 24/7.
“Steve?” He’d been sleeping, the one time Bucky Barnes is getting a decent sleep and his phone rings and wakes him. He always answers when it’s Steve though, regardless of the time or where he is.
“Hey, Buck... I need to ask you a favour.” Bucky asks what Steve needs and Steve begins to tell him, “Rumlow and HYDRA are after me. They kidnapped (y/n), she’s okay, in hospital but no injuries. She’s shaken up pretty bad and... Bucky, this is going to be a big ask.”
“Whatever you need, Steve, I’ll do.” He’s sitting, tugging a shirt on with one arm, “What do you need?” Bucky Barnes would go to the ends of the Earth for Steve Rogers and he knows that whatever Steve needs, it’s something big.
“I need you to take her to a safe house.” Bucky freezes, he had expected Steve to ask him to come help for extra protection or something like that but this... this is huge, “I need you to take her. I don’t know how long for, a few weeks maybe months? No one else, it can only be you.”
“But... Steve...” He doesn’t say much but Steve knows what he’s saying. But Steve, I’m your girlfriend’s soulmate and you’re asking for me to take her into a secluded house alone? Just the two of us for god knows how long? Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Steve sighs heavily, “I know, Buck.” His tone almost sounds defeated, “I know... We were finally back on track and the universe hits out with this... I just need her to be safe, Buck, regardless of who he soulmate is or who she ends up falling in love with; I want her to be happy and I want her to be safe.”
“Why can’t you go?”
“They’re after me, I can’t let you or Sam or the team pick up my mess. I have to deal with it. That’s why I need you to go with her. You’re just as strong as me and... I know that you’ll keep her safe. I know that whatever happens, you’ll do everything you can to protect her... I need you to take her until we have Hydra locked up.”
Bucky licks his lips as he thinks about it. He doesn’t really know how to feel about it but he doesn’t really have to, Steve needs him and he’d follow that scrawny kid into the depths of hell if it mean he’d be helping him, “Okay, I’ll help. I’ll need a few days to find a safe house and get it prepped then I’ll fly out, okay?” He agrees to Steve’s ask though he has a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that all of this won’t go to plan.
“Thank you, Bucky.” Steve closes his eyes as he leans against the wall, “You can’t tell me or anyone else where you’re going or where you’re taking her. I probably won’t be able to contact you so-” I’m leaving you with my girl alone with no contact from me or the team for weeks or months potentially, “- you gotta keep her safe. I’ve got some cash together for you to buy everything with that so you’re untraceable. Fury’s giving us more cash since we don’t know how long you’ll be away for.”
Bucky swears on his own life that he’d protect you with everything he has. Before Steve hangs up, Bucky says, “Steve, I just want you to know that no matter what happens... no matter what feelings arise... I won’t- I won’t do anything, I won’t act on anything, I won’t try and do anything about them...”
It’s the reassurance Steve needs and he feels a lot lighter now that Bucky’s said that. He smiles as he release a long breath, “I know you won’t, Bucky. I’ll see you soon.” Steve hangs up and walks back into the hospital room where Sam has Marvin Gaye playing quietly on his phone, “Do you just play Marvin Gaye to anyone in a hospital?”
Sam rolls his eyes, “It was too quiet, man! How did it go?”
Sam claps him on the shoulder, “You sure this is what you want? You know that I could take her or you could and I could hold the fort?”
Steve sighs, “It has to be him.” He shrugs, “I... I can only hope that nothing happens but god knows... All I know is that she’ll be okay with him.” The pair look over you as Steve’s thoughts swirl. This might be one of the last times you’re together in a romantic sense, he doesn’t know if you’ll come back loving Bucky or hating him and it makes him feel sick at the thought but he’s okay with it. He wants you to be happy and if that means it’s with Buck, then so be it.
“(y/n), come on-”
“No, Steve!” Your voice is raising due to the sheer stupidity of his request, “You’re saying that because you’re being targeted that means I’m a target too, I understand that, but what I don’t understand is why you’re asking me to go live in a safe house with Bucky for god knows how long! He’s my soulmate, Steve, I- I can’t.”
“The plans have already been made.”
“Then unmake them!” You’re angry and he gets it and to be honest, he doesn’t want this to happen either but it has to. He’d told you the next morning when the drugs were completely out of your system. Sam was back at the apartment checking for bugs, just in case Rumlow’s gang planted some when they were in and then he’d take you back to the apartment for you to pack a bag, “I’m not going Steve.”
“Yes, you are.” He crosses his arms over his chest and looks at you with a furrowed brow. He understands that you’re an adult who can decide their own fate but Steve is choosing this one for you, “You might not understand right now but when you come out the other end of this safe then I hope you’ll understand then.”
You shake your head as tears threaten to fall. You’re angry at Steve, that he made this decision and you knew you would be going no matter what fight you put up. It annoyed you, made you feel small and made you feel like a child who couldn’t make their own decisions, “Not without you, Steve. Why can’t it be you?”
“I’m trying to keep the fight away from you,” he says softly, hand on top of yours, “Bucky’s the only way you’ll be kept safe.” Silence falls for a moment before he speaks again, “I know what this means. I know what this could mean for... for us. I know that you could come back in love with Bucky and he for you. I know that you could come back and break up with me on the spot... That’s a risk I am willing to take.”
You shake your head, “No,” you whisper, “I’m not willing to take that risk, Steve.” You could trust yourself, that wasn’t the issue. You knew that no matter what, you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise your relationship with Steve. But... you and Bucky were soulmates and that had to be for a reason and it worried you that being alone with him for an unlimited amount of time would cause something to stir. You trusted yourself not to cheat on Steve but you didn’t trust your heart not to hurt Steve.
Steve crouched down beside the hospital bed and lifted your hand to his lips, “I know, sweetheart,” tears burned at his own eyes as he spoke to you, “I know the risk. I know that you could come back and we could break up instantly and if you want, we could break up right now so that whatever happens, you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it-”
You swung your legs out of the bed, throwing your arms around him, “No,” you wept sadly into his shoulder, “that’s the last thing I want.”
He held you tightly, knowing that this very well could be one of the last times that the two of you had together in a relationship, “I’m doing this because I want to protect you, (y/n)… Bucky can protect you.”
“I-I love you, Steve,” you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. My god, how you loved him. He had changed your life, brought so much joy and happiness to it, “No matter what, I love you.” The two of you stayed like that for a long time, just needing to feel each other and needing to be with each other because... who knew what would happen over the course of the next few months?
With doctors granting you permission to leave the hospital and after having Sam debug the apartment, Steve took you home for your last night with him. The car ride to the apartment was quiet and your hand never left Steve’s as he drove you both home. You had relented with the decision, knowing full well that regardless of whether you said yes or no to leaving with Bucky, you would be going anyway. You and Steve had talked things over, about Steve’s duty to the job and to taking down Hydra, about Bucky and how he wasn’t going to overstep a line with you or anything like that. The pair of you spoke about the non-existent contact you’d have.
“Hopefully it won’t be too long,” Steve said, “maybe just a few weeks but these days, Hydra is everywhere and nowhere all in the one, it could be months. Bucky managed to find a safe house relatively quick. For obvious reasons, I don’t know where it is or what continent it’s on but he said that it’s secluded and it’s safe. He said that it comes with minimal furniture so tomorrow morning, you’ll leave.” You squeezed his hand tightly, not wanting to speak for fear of bursting into tears. Steve glanced over at you and gave you the tiniest of smiles. He lifted your hand and pressed a soft kiss to it.
When you reached the apartment complex, there were three black SUVs parked out front, Steve saw you looking, “SHIELD agents,” he told you, “We’ll have agents outside the apartment and one in each of our neighbour’s apartments.”
“Jeez,” you murmured, “I’m only here for one night, it’s like I’m a bloody Kardashian.”
Steve smiled slightly, glad to hear you make a joke, he wrapped an arm around you as you walked into the building, “Only the best for you, my love.”
You were rather apprehensive about going back into the apartment. It had been yours and Steve’s safe place and now... it seemed compromised almost. Steve seemed to pick up on your worry, “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he said as he took the keys out of his pocket, “It’s been cleaned, debugged and also...” He unlocked the door to reveal red rose petals running from the front door into each room.
“Steve,” you whispered, looking at him with a smile. You walked into the apartment, hanging your coat up and kicking your shoes off. You followed the petals into the kitchen where there was a candlelit dinner waiting for the two of you.
“It’s not much but I had Nat come round and make it special since it’s our last night together.” Note; ‘last night together’ is different from ‘last night together for a while’. A pang of sadness shot through you, you leaned up to kiss him softly, whispering that you loved it.
“There’s a bath waiting for you if you want it. Some Chinese takeout if you’re hungry.”
You hugged him tightly, “Just hold me for a while.” So, the pair of you stood in the kitchen, holding each other in the dim light not knowing what would happen next.
It was a few minutes later Steve tugged you to the kitchen table where you both sat down, “You remember our first night here?” He asked you as he handed you some take out cartons and began to eat.
You stifled a laugh, “Yeah, no electricity for three days and no hot water either!”
Steve laughed with you, taking a fork full of chow mein, “Yeah, having to eat Chinese take out on the floor with torches and candles all around us. Could’ve cried when the electricity finally turned on.”
You rolled your eyes, “You could have cried?! What the hell, Rogers? You teared up like you were watching your first born son marry!”
The ice had been broken and the two of you could freely talk and laugh without boundaries. You both carried on as though it were a normal night, a date night with no mention As the night went on, you had a nice romantic bath as Steve cleaned the dishes and when you were finished, things ended in the bedroom.
You always loved laying on his chest, listening to the slow rhythmic beat of his heart and his steady breathing. Most people, if they knew it was their last night with someone would probably fuck until dawn but neither of you wanted that. You wanted nothing more than to lie with him, talking and just being there and being present. Steve wanted to hold you, wanted to tell you how much he cared and loved you and he just wanted to be with you.
“Whatever happens,” you said softly, “I just want you to know that this was real; this is real - that although we’re technically not soulmates, I truly believe that we are.”
Steve pulled you tighter into him, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I want you to know,” he said, “that no matter what feelings you start to have for Bucky, no matter how you feel towards me in the end up... I won’t blame you. I won’t expect you to love me like this on the other side. I won’t expect you to still want to be with me. I know that I’m forcing you into this situation and that kills me to do but I have to do it so whatever happens, it’s not your fault.”
You look up to him as you both whisper your confessions of undying love before kissing him gently. It’s a soft kiss, full of emotion and full of such sorrow. It’s a goodbye. You would say goodbye officially tomorrow but this was the real goodbye, this was the intimate goodbye, the letting go of the intertwined hearts and this was it. The kiss soon turned more passionate and then the two of you were confessing your love in the most intimate of ways.
“How are you feeling about all of this?” Natasha asked you as she sat on yours and Steve’s bed. You were in the process of packing your bags.
“I feel like I’m perpetually on the verge of tears,” you answered, as you folded some t-shirts and squeezed them into the bag, “It’s hard, you know? I understand why but my god, Nat, I hate this.”
Nat studied you carefully and you knew the question that was on her mind. What if you fall for Barnes? To be honest, it had been the question on everyone’s mind that morning.
“I’m shit scared,” you admitted to her, dropping the bag onto the bed beside her as you ran your hands through your hair, “I am terrified. I am so in love with Steve and what if I come back madly in love with Bucky? Or better yet, in love with the two of them?”
Nat stood up, placing a gentle hand on your arm, “Hey, whatever happens, it’s going to be okay. You can’t stress about something that might not even happen. You have to take it day by day and if you fall for him then so be it. If you don’t, great. If you’re in love with the two of them then that’s something you and Steve have to talk about and sort out when you’re back. Don’t stress about it now.” She pulled you in for a tight hug, a very un-Nat thing to do, “Just know that I’ll be helping Steve sort out the Hydra mess, I’ll keep his ass safe and in line and hopefully it won’t be too long before you’re allowed to come home.”
“Thanks, Nat.” The two of you pulled apart, “You’ll need to keep a diary or something to update me on everything I’ll miss... especially with you and a certain Dr Banner.” You placed your phone on top of the counter, you couldn’t take it for fear of tracking so there was no point in having it. You sighed as you placed it down.
Nat rolled her eyes, “Yeah right. Let’s get this wig sorted.”
The Avengers were never too good at disguises, it usually always consisted of sunglasses and a cap so, in order to hide your identity further, Nat had brought you a wig the opposite colour, cut and style to your hair just now and some contact lenses of a different colour to your natural eye colour.
After a few minutes, you looked in the mirror, staring at someone who looked like a stranger, “Oh god, I hate it.” The top you wore wasn’t at all flattering for your body type. You tugged it down, wishing that it wasn’t quite so figure hugging. You didn’t mind things that clung to your body, you’d worked through a lot of the body issues you had but the top was a horrid colour and paired with this hair and these contacts... you didn’t feel like a Kardashian anymore.
Nat laughed, “That means it works. Honestly, you look fine, stop worrying... Let’s go show the boys.”
You walked into the living room with your packed bags to see Sam and Steve standing talking. Steve smiled when he looked at you, “You look... interesting.”
“Shut it, Rogers.”
“I mean, it definitely works because I look at you and I don’t see (y/n), I see a complete stranger,” Sam offered.
“You ready?” Steve asked softly, taking the bags from you, “Got everything?” You nodded, murmuring a ‘think so’. He smiled and pulled an envelope out of his back pocket, “I wrote this letter this morning. I want you to read it when it’s time...” Your confused expression made him explain further, “I want you to read this letter when you start to feel things... things for Bucky. If that happens.” You took a breath, mind whirring with the possible things that could be in that letter, “You’ll know when to read it.”
It was then that there was a knock on the door. Sam answered it to see Bucky Barnes standing wearing a cap and, you guessed it, sunglasses. He wore leather gloves to cover his metal hand and carried a bag over his shoulder. He lifted the sunglasses to look at you, “Ready?”
Oh god, it’s happening.
“I don’t want to cry because I’m scared of the contact lenses,” you whimpered as tears threatened to fall. You hugged Nat and Sam, thanking them for their help, before Steve said that he’d walk out with you both. He picked up your bags and the three of you left the apartment to the black car that was outside. Bucky packed the three bags in the trunk before hugging Steve.
You couldn’t hear what the two of them said in the brief encounter but you supposed that it would be Bucky reassuring Steve that you’d be safe and that he wouldn’t act on any feelings that may grow. Steve clapped him on the shoulder and Bucky got into the driver’s seat of the car.
Steve turned to you and wrapped you in his arms. God, you just wanted to cry. You wished that you didn’t have to go, you wished that you could just stay with him but you couldn’t. You had to leave. They’d already gotten to you once and Steve wouldn’t dare let it happen again.
“I love you,” you told him softly, “I love you so much, Steve. I-I love you.”
He held you tighter, “I love you, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be okay. I’ll get this sorted so that you can come home to me.” You pulled back and he brushed your cheek, wiping your tear gently, “No matter what happens, it’s okay.” You hugged him again before he leaned down and kissed you softly. Bucky, who had been watching in the rear view mirror, looked away, “Goodbye, (y/n).”
“Goodbye, Steve.” He opened your car door and you slid inside.
“Thank you, Buck,” Steve said, clearing his throat, “Be safe.” He closed the door and Bucky started the engine, pulling out of the apartment complex. Your eyes were trained on the spot where Steve was, watching as he got smaller and smaller until you couldn’t see him anymore. It was only when he was out of sight that you allowed yourself to really break. Fuck the contact lenses, I’m too sad to care.
Bucky glanced at you as he drove, feeling a pang of sadness for you as you wept in the seat beside him. He knew that part of the reason you were so upset was because it was him that was taking you, had he not been your soulmate you would have probably been okay but because he was your soulmate, it filled you to the brim with worry, guilt and pure sadness. All he could do was drive. Nothing he could say could help you. He reached to his side, taking a pack of tissues from the door’s compartment before handing them to you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, taking them from him. He couldn’t do much to help but he had done enough to make you feel comforted and to make you feel as though you weren’t alone. You wiped your eyes as you stared out of the window, wondering where the next few weeks would take you.
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While You Sleep
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: angst, mention of violence, slow burn
Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Okay -- that little pep talk you had given yourself was slowly dying as you walked into work the next day. Suddenly, nervousness was replacing it all, washing over you quickly.
You didn’t exactly know what to say. The extent of conversation you’d ever had with Steve was reserved to you saying “here’s your order” and he’d promptly respond with that shining smile and the most meaningful thank you.
Bringing up the fact his ex-assassin best friend was your long-lost was just not any kind of coffee shop chatter.
You were trying to ponder it during the morning rush. Mindlessly making lattes and frappes, you worked on some kind of script that could be thrown together. But your thoughts were interrupted by the bell over the door ringing. This wasn’t unusual giving it being early morning but for some reason, your eyes shot up — landing right on the man you were anticipating.
As always, he looked so casual yet so large waiting in the back of the line. Eyes wandered over him shamelessly but Steve genuinely didn’t seem to notice. He kept his forward, browsing the menu as if he ever got anything but a large black coffee. You just knew it because, well, it was the easiest order you ever served up. Like the world giving you a break.
Knowing his order brought some advantages for you. Since he was one of the few people actually ordering straight-up coffee in the morning -- the shop was quite frequented by college students and young entrepreneurs -- you simply didn’t start the coffee pot that morning. Your plan was to start it right after he ordered giving him a wait time of about thirty minutes. Possibly annoying for him, a great chance for you. He’d be forced to wait at the bar and you could chat. Chat about what, though, you still didn’t know. You couldn’t exactly dive in.
But you weren’t given much more time to plan. Steve was at the cashier before you knew it. You waited, watched as he paid, and then clicked the coffee pot on.
You walked over to the pick-up area. “Sorry,” you said. Steve turned to you. “It’s going to be a few minutes. I had to put on a new pot of coffee but you’re welcome to wait at the bar area.”
Steve gave you a small smile. “That’s fine,” he said and made his way to a stool. Your plan was rolling out perfectly. Now if you could only figure where to take it from here.
You leaned against the counter, watching the pot brew and waiting for another order to come through. Secretly you had hoped some big, ridiculous latte request would come in but so far the customers and seemed to die down. You couldn’t do much but stand across from Steve who was looking around at the decor.
The machine was about half full when you finally decided to open your mouth to at least say something -- but Steve beat you to it.
“Is everything okay?” He asked. Your eyes widened.
“Sorry,” Steve coughed and readjusted his posture. “I just meant, you look like something is bothering you. Are you okay?”
You couldn’t do this today, you realized. Your brain suddenly went on a mission finding some lie to pop out.
“Yeah, yeah,” you dismissed his comment with a wave of your hand. “I- I Just… Didn’t sleep well last night.”
Alright. Your lie suddenly was dripping with subconscious truth. You cringed at your own words, rubbing your forehead with two fingers. This was the dumbest idea you had ever had and now you were forced to see it out as the coffee pot suddenly felt like it was brewing at half-speed.
“Oh,” Steve frowned but leaned forward, a bit intrigued. “Unpleasant dreams?”
You sighed, “You could say that.”
“Were they from…” His words trailed off unusually. The discussion of soulmates was somewhat of an accepted one. Usually, just in hopes that one could lead them to their significant other.
Steve, however, seemed leery about the subject. You were certainly in the same boat. That let you relax just ever so slightly.
“My soulmate?” You blurted out the question. Steve nodded, slowly. “Yeah, they were. He… he hasn’t seen very nice things in his lifetime.”
It felt so weird talking about Steve’s best friend while Steve most likely knew nothing about who you were referring to. It was like a giant weight in the conversation for you. You wanted to blurt it out, wanted to maybe meet your other half and just see what everything was about, see who he really is but it felt so heavy on your chest. It just wasn't right yet. You'd get a sign, you knew. Then you'd proceed but not here, not today.
Steve sighed, his gaze dropping to his hands that were resting on the counter. “No, I don’t think he has.”
Your stomach dropped. Did -- Was he -- Did he know who you were talking about? Steve no longer would meet your gaze but your eyes grew wide again in possible realization -- or... maybe you were just being absolutely paranoid. Perhaps he didn’t even say that and you misheard him --
DING. The coffee machine rang making you jump in surprise. You forgot for a second where the hell you two even were. Steve’s eyes fell on you again but you quickly turned to the coffee, refusing to let him see your blushing, flustered state.
He knew. He had to know. Or at least he guessed. But how could he know? Steve wasn’t in yesterday, he wouldn’t have witnessed your panic. Did your co-worker tell him? When the hell would she have done that? Maybe… Maybe Bucky knew… What did he know then of you? And if he did, why wasn’t he here? Steve knew you so what the fuck was happening…
Your mind was a maze. A painful, winding maze. You could feel yourself trying to make it through the thoughts and theories but nothing was working. You forced yourself to push it all down, just for the rest of your shift.
Continuing, you quickly filled Steve’s to-go cup and placed it on the counter. He didn’t take it right away, opting to stare at the cup for a second. You pretended not to notice and instead began grinding espresso beans for a latte order that came in.
“It’ll get better,” Steve said, making your motions still completely. Such a simple thing that could mean so much. Was he offering comfort? A taunt? Your brain was back at it again.
You forced yourself to look up, wanting so badly to say just one more thing, maybe even plead and confess it all, but he was already gone. You felt like crying as you went back to brewing the beans. That unmistakable, inescapable tinge of heartache filled your chest.
It’ll get better. Steve’s words rang in your head tauntingly as you laid in bed that night. Staring at the ceiling, you had been trying to fall asleep for over an hour now hoping this “better” Steve spoke of was right around the corner.
So far, though, no luck. Tonight’s flicks were of an older kind, thankfully still not as powerful as the more modern ones, but the images didn’t get any better. They were quick looks, sure, but violence and bodies, a horrendous combination produced horrendous results. The feelings behind it went straight to your soul.
You gave up even trying to decide what the hell this memory could’ve been from. You didn’t want to register the potential victim’s faces. You didn’t care about the scenery and whatnot.
The better had not come yet — whatever the hell that actually was which Steve had promised.
He knew something. Something very deep and useful for this situation. It was laced in his words and written on his concerned face.
Or maybe you were going crazy. The more you thought about it, the less it all made sense.
There was just that hope you were able to go off of now. That hope of “better.” That hope of fate.
Hope was your only weapon against the heart-wrenching memories flooding their way into your brain as your eyes were forced to give in, too heavy and defeated from today.
It was maybe all you had at this point and the whiplash of life was certainly throwing you a new one.
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Send me a name and I’ll pick a letter from the unsent project under that name and turn it into a fanfic. Also if you have a specific character you want put it in the request. I mainly wrote for Loki, Peter, and Bucky but would be willing to try most of the other characters. Results may vary lol. And all fics will use (Y/n) the name is only to find a prompt. If you have specific pronouns you want used please specify
Also just in case that didn’t make sense I meant first name. Example: Sara, Alexis, Michelle Etc.￼
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i feel bad giving u guys so much angst lately so I’ll try to upload a v fluffy fic tonight <333 chapter 5 of touch should be up by friday bffs !!
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The Tie That Binds – [Three of Six]
[B. Barnes, Soulmate AU]
HYDRA took everything from you, your life, your future, they even burned off your soulmark to make sure nobody would go looking for you. Now the man they forced you to fix reappears in your life, to make amends and to be ‘of service’.
You know that they made him do all those things, that James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is not The Winter Soldier, that he’s innocent. You don’t blame him.
But that doesn’t make seeing him again any easier.
Warnings: Panic attacks, language, talk and depiction of home invasion and abduction, canon level violence, HYDRA levels of torture, angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, friends to lovers.
This is entirely un-beta’d so all mistakes are my own. Thank you for reading!
<- Prev / Next ->
You’ve just stepped out of the grocery store when you’re half-barrelled into by something big and solid. Instead of falling, like you expect, when the moment passes, you realise not only are you standing upright, but that your arms have been relieved of the two heavy paper bags you’d previously held.
It takes you second to fully process the situation, but when you do, you find yourself blinking up at the smug face of Bucky Barnes, your load now tucked easily under his arm, looking a whole lot smaller than when you’d struggled to pick them up.
“Wha– I thought you were away?!” You let yourself gasp in belated surprise, resting a hand over your heart momentarily. He wears sunglasses, which you find odd considering it wasn’t exactly bright out, but you’re still a little too taken aback by his sudden appearance to really make note of it.
“And miss our shopping trip?” He asks, voice filled with mock horror.
“You can’t shake me off that easy. I stick.” The smugness melts from his features, replaced by something softer as you shake your head at him, beginning to walk.
Almost a whole month and a half of these regular, strange meetings, and the two of you had fallen into something that felt a lot like friendship, but crucially, wasn’t quite. Usually he’d help you with your groceries, sometimes you’d corner him at a cafe and seemingly quiz him on aspects of HYDRA and your capture. It was… comfortable, and you hated to admit it, but you’d sorely missed actual human interaction.
Bucky moves to walk beside you on the footpath, and you eye him. You understand why he wears sunglasses now, at this angle you could clearly see the large purple and black bruise around the ring of his eye, and when you take a closer, less subtle look at his clothing, you realise he’d simply thrown on his heavy winter coat over top of what looked like a blue motorcycle jacket.
“You know I would have been just fine if you had somewhere else to be…” You venture, shifting your eyes away from him as you speak. Bucky glances down at you, and then at his attire.
“Just got back.” He says shortly, though you’ve come to know that was just his way sometimes.
“Most people might go take a shower… get some sleep… not go help some lady with her shopping.” You muse.
The slight smugness returns to his face and his gait and he swings his head to look down at you with a corny grin, only added to by the shades.
“Most people aren’t me.” He tells you cockily, leaning down slightly to emphasise this. He leans back again moments later, as if considering you, and you squirm a little under his gaze.
“Besides, I think you like having someone do the heavy liftin’.” It’s still part of his act, something halfway between a shadow of himself from a different time, and a romance lead perhaps.
You noticed he fell back on humour, on sarcasm or this faux personality whenever he felt like his true response wouldn’t be acceptable. Maybe most people wouldn’t notice the shifts so clearly, but you do. You did the same thing any time you had to interact with another human being.
Still, the way it makes butterflies appear in your chest sends you off kilter every time, not just because it was him, but because it had been a solid amount of time since anybody spoke to you or flirted with you like you were a halfway decent option. Especially someone who looked like Bucky.
You weren’t blind, you’d recognised his objective attractiveness long ago, somewhere in a dimly lit room, where tracing his jawline was a distraction from whatever else.
But it was different now. He wasn’t just the tragically beautiful assassin you were forced to work on, he was… Bucky.
An almost friend.
You scoff at his display, and at any fleeting notion that he’d even really look at you twice, and shake your head.
“I can’t say it doesn’t help on the days my hands shake too much… Lost one too many cartons of eggs to that.” You chortle at your own past predicament.
You miss the way Bucky’s smile falters, and his shoulders drop, and he forces himself to look away from you for several seconds.
“Where were you, anyway?” You ask, changing the subject as you come to a set of lights. Bucky shifts your groceries to his other arm and cocks his head at you.
“I’m pretty sure our deal was that I answer questions about what I used to do. Didn’t think my current shenanigans were on the table…?” You see an eyebrow rise above the lens of the glasses, and roll your eyes.
“Fine. I didn’t want to hear about your sidekick stuff anyway.” You turn away from him slightly only for him to step into your view again.
“Sidekick? You call me a sidekick?” Bucky sounds almost genuinely offended, and you scoff, leaving him trailing behind you when the walking light turns green and you make for the other side of the street.
“Please, you’re basically a professional sidekick.” You can’t keep the grin from your lips now as Bucky hurries to catch up with you, his brow now in a deep set frown.
“That’s unkind. That’s hurtful.” He tells you, truly, honestly pouting.
“I’ll have you know my sidekick stuff is extremely interesting.” He continues, sticking his nose up a little now. You shrug.
“Probably, but you didn’t wanna tell me about it so…” You spin to face him as you speak, stopping on your apartment buildings stoop.
Bucky still pouts as you blindly buzz yourself in, taking towards the stairs right away. Bucky follows, and you realise a little too late that he never usually came inside with you. He’d usually hand over your things at the door. Truthfully, as dismissive as you were being, you were actually rather glad he’d shown up, and you weren’t quite ready yet to part ways.
The rest of the climb to your floor is filled with Bucky huffing about how cool his job was, and you internally wondering if it was too weird to invite him inside. Your fear of the man had all but evaporated, despite the frequent dreams you’d been having, but you wonder if letting him into your home would change that.
Your apartment was your sanctuary. You had escape routes mapped just in case, you’d organised your things so that there was always some kind of makeshift weapon available to you in every room… considering these plans were made with his last break-in in mind, you’re not sure how your subconscious might react to having him physically within your space again.
You act as natural as possible, and when you do reach your door, you force yourself to steady your hand as you unlock it. Bucky had stopped even his playful whining, and you know he isn’t ignorant to the current situation.
Stepping inside, you hold your door open with your hip and casually jerk your head in the direction of your kitchen.
“That can just go on the counter.” You say, cursing the slight shake in your words. You continue ahead of him quickly, even as you hear your door close shut behind you, depositing your purse and coat on the sofa.
Bucky does as you say, and you turn in time to see him step back from the countertop, his eyes darting around the space quickly.
A different kind of anxiety rolls over you then, and you regret having not tidied up a little before inviting him inside.
“It’s a little messy…” You apologise, sweeping some dust from the nearest surface and scrunching your nose. Bucky blinks at you and frowns, opening his mouth, but you accidentally cut him off as another thought hits you.
“And I’m sorry about the cold… The window keeps breaking.” You gesture to the main window in your living space, rolling your eyes a little.
Bucky’s face morphs into a frown as he looks past you to the window in question, a plastic bag duct taped over a portion.
“Your windows broken?” He asks, concern filling his voice.
“It keeps happening. My landlord employs the cheapest handyman in the city, I swear to god…” You roll your eyes again and try to brush it off with a laugh, but Bucky’s face doesn’t change, even as he looks back to you.
“It’s the middle of winter.” He states, and then before you can reply, he straightens, his frown of displeasure shifting into one of determination.
“I’ll fix it.”
Bucky replays the clips on his phone one last time, making sure he properly understood the instruction, before he moves to copy it.
A short trip to the hardware store later, he’s back in your apartment, sat awkwardly on your windowpane as he finishes up replacing the lower piece of glass. He’d made sure the piece he’d bought was hardy, and unlikely to cause you future problems. He can’t imagine how cold it would have gotten in your place with a broken window, and tries not to scowl.
You linger nearby, having put your groceries away and offered him coffee, you now sit on your couch pretending that you weren’t watching him.
He doesn’t blame you for eyeing him just as nervously as you had on his first few visits with you. Seeing each other out and about was one thing, but he doesn’t underestimate the amount of trust you were showing in allowing him into your home. Hell, he doesn’t even think he’d be extending such liberties if he were you.
But he’s glad for it, if not only for selfish reasons.
It was easy for Bucky to pretend he didn’t know your status to one another. He’d ignored the little black mark long enough, ignored the urge to seek you out (before he knew you were you) so it really wasn’t that different for him. The only problem, and it wasn’t really a problem just yet, was that Bucky liked you.
He liked your jokes and your sass, he liked the way your expressions spoke louder than your words ever could, and how you didn’t even seem to realise you were making them half the time. He liked that you always seemed to have something interesting to add to a conversation, even on topics he wouldn’t have thought had much interest.
You were smart, and funny and cynical in all the same ways as him, and Bucky liked spending time with you. If he didn’t think it would make you uncomfortable, he’d hang around you a lot more.
Being friends with you was easy, in the same way that being friends with Sam was easy. He didn’t have to hold back certain information, or pretend he was something he wasn’t. You knew everything already, and for some reason, had decided you were okay with him sticking around.
“Do you think you’re going to find your soulmate?”
The question nearly makes him jump, as if you’d been looking right into his thoughts.
Bucky stops what he’s doing briefly and looks up at you. Your lips are pursed and your eyes move from his exposed wrist to his face. He coaches his face into what he might consider normal if the situation were different, and hums.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He clears his throat, and watches you shift your position on the couch, tucking your feet underneath you.
“I don’t know. It’s not really something I have to consider, so I guess I was just thinking about our situations… How it would feel.” You frown as you speak, and Bucky already knows you’re unsatisfied with how you’d answered. He stops completely and faces you, giving you his full attention.
“What do you mean?” He prompts. You think for a moment.
“I guess I just don’t know if I would.” You state, still frowning, though this time for an entirely different reason. Bucky feels something in his chest tighten.
“I don’t know. I’m not exactly the most normal person in the world… and I know your soulmate is supposed to be your perfect half, but there’s still choice involved, right? Not everyone chooses to be with their soulmate in the end…” Your eyes turn down to your lap, where you fiddle with your fingers nervously.
“I’m just not sure they’d want me.”
Bucky’s stomach drops at your confession, something an awful lot like hurt shooting through him.
He wants to hurry and reassure you that you were wrong, that you didn’t have to worry, but he stops himself.
He reminds himself that your fears were his own, only he knew for a fact the answer.
“I don’t think you should spend your time worrying about that.” He says carefully. You stop fidgeting and look up at him. He swallows thickly.
“Your soulmate will want you, regardless of if you’re the most normal person in the world or not. And if they’re worried about your past, or the way it affects you now, then they probably don’t deserve you anyway.”
Bucky shrugs, and tears his eyes from yours to continue in his task, but stays fully aware that your gaze remains trained on him.
“If you found them, I’m sure they would want you.” He adds, almost anxiously, his mind buzzing with a million thoughts.
From the couch, you let out a short laugh, the tension in the room lifting a little. He spares a glance at you, unable to to stop the smile that creeps onto his face at the sight of your own.
“What?” He asks, and you shake your head.
“Just never took the Winter Soldier for a romantic.” You tease, making him roll his eyes.
Bucky puts the last touches on your new and improved window and takes a step back.
“Would it shock you to learn HYDRA didn’t count it as a useful skill?”
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