#and i’m genuinely so happy after everything we’ve talked about that she’s in like a good place and i really | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steddieas-shegoes · 9 months

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Steve Harrington having a stutter? maybe Eddie and Steve are in an interview after revealing their relationship to the public (kinda ties with ur rockstar eddie drabbles?) and people make fun of his stutter. Hes always had it, he just doesn't talk in public so its a surprise to everyone that he has a stutter and that they actually get to hear his voice

So I know the request said he always had the stutter, but I wanted to do something head trauma related for this because Eddie is gonna get a little overprotective and says some stuff about his very amazing husband to be. I've never written a character having a stutter before, so I hopefully made it realistic. In my head, he struggled with some hard consonants and 'th', 'ch', and 'sh' sounds. - Mickala ❤️

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“Everyone please give your warmest welcome to Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington!”

They walked onto the stage with smiles and waves, hands clasped between them as they walked to the couch they’d be sitting on for their interview.

They chose this talk show host, Hannah, because she wasn’t pushy, asked heartfelt questions, and wanted to get the genuine stories out there.

Steve had been nervous to be on any talk show, so he was the one who made the decision to be on this one and Eddie was happy to oblige.

Her viewers may not have been his usual crowd, but if it made Steve more comfortable, he didn’t really care.

“Wow, that was a warm welcome!” Eddie exclaimed.

He wanted to keep it light; Steve’s hand in his was sweaty and shaking, and he knew Hannah could see his nerves.

“I think everyone is just so excited to have you here! You’re not our usual guest, I’ll be honest, so you’re shaking things up for all of us.” She smiled before looking at Steve. “Now, let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way first. Steve, that ring on your finger sure is a beauty!”

He glanced down at it for a moment, smiling to himself.

Eddie proposed a month ago, on their week-long getaway to Greece, and as much as they tried to hide it, it was on the cover of every tabloid and online news article within 24 hours.

They hadn’t even come out officially yet.

It caused Steve to panic, and then Eddie panicked, and then they both decided to take control of their own narrative and do this interview.

“Th-thank you,” Steve replied. “Eddie did g-good, didn’t he?”

Steve’s stutter was barely noticeable when they were in a comfortable environment, especially since they’d been together for so long. But when they were in a stressful situation, or around new people, or both, it became more obvious.

Steve had already spoken to Hannah about it beforehand, said he wouldn’t mind talking about it as long as it wasn’t the focus of the interview. She agreed and said that she would follow his lead on everything, and Eddie warned her he wouldn’t hesitate to walk them both off the stage if Steve got uncomfortable.

“He did great! Honestly, I’ll have to get you to show my husband how to pick an engagement ring. Bless his heart, he tried. Luckily, we married for love and not his ability to know what I want in a ring.”

The audience laughed, and Steve couldn’t help letting out a small giggle.

“Soooo…tell us how he did it!” Hannah continued, eyes glimmering under the stage lights.

“Um.” Steve took in a shaky breath. “We were at a p-priv-vate d-dinner on the beach-ch.” Eddie squeezed his hand once, smiling over at him as he let him lead. “He s-sang me a s-song and th-then proposed.”

“How romantic,” Hannah rested her head in her hands and sighed. “Everyone in the audience is going to show this to their significant others for them to take notes, I’m sure.”

“He left out the part where I also bought him the fancy wine he wanted only for it to be the worst thing we’ve ever tasted and we ended up giving it to a couple further down the beach,” Eddie added, playfully nudging Steve’s shoulder.

“Yeah, w-well,” Steve shrugged, blushing profusely.

“What a letdown! Hopefully the other couple liked it,” Hannah laughed.

“They didn’t complain, but honestly we didn’t stick around for too long. We were freshly engaged and had much better things to be doing,” Eddie winked at the audience.

“Oh, I bet you did!” Hannah smiled before getting more serious. “So you’ve been together for a while?”

“We were friends when we were really young, and it grew into more when Steve was supporting me and my band in the local bar scene. We’ve dated for almost four years now.”

“Awww. And you’ll be getting married pretty soon, right?” Hannah asked.

“Yes, we d-decided on next March-ch,” Steve added. “Spring is when w-we met-t.”

“Lovely! I’m sure the wedding will be quite the party.”

“We’re keeping it pretty small, just family and our circle of friends. My bandmates will be there. Just us back at home with the people who love us,” Eddie smiled.

“I think that sounds wonderful.” Hannah clapped her hands. “So, Eddie, with all this excitement in your personal life, what’s it look like for the band?”

“I’ll be on tour with them for August and September, and then we’ll be working hard on recording the next album in October and November so we can have it out next year. I won’t be doing anything else until after the wedding, though. I promised Stevie I’d help him plan everything.”

The crowd cheered, and Steve spoke up.

“He also p-promised t-to visit the loc-cation with me in Novemb-ber so we’ll see,” Steve teased, seeming to relax quite a bit more.

The interview carried on, mostly focusing on Eddie’s band and some more casual talk of the wedding and future plans.

Steve never completely relaxed, but he seemed much more at ease as Hannah focused more on Eddie for a few minutes, smiling at Steve when he decided to add something.

“Alright, that’s all the time we have boys! It was lovely to have you and we’re so looking forward to your future together!”

The audience cheered, the boys waved goodbye, and they walked back to the green room to grab some water before going back to their hotel.

Eddie stopped Steve in the hall, ignoring the people passing by, and pulled Steve against him.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” he whispered against his lips before pressing a soft kiss there. “You’re amazing.”

“Eds, st-stop,” Steve blushed.

“Nope, wanna tell you all the time. You’re incredible.”

“F-fine.”

—--------------------

Steve is a lovely person, and I will not tolerate hate comments on anything related to the interview I did with him and Eddie. My team always does the best with reporting hate comments, so keep that in mind before posting something you may regret later. Any Eddie Munson fan should know that Eddie wouldn’t accept this disgusting behavior towards his fiance.

Steve could feel tears welling in his eyes as he read Hannah’s lovely public comment about some of the hate she’d been receiving in regards to their interview.

One comment in particular had hurt to see: a fan claiming that Eddie just felt bad for him and didn’t want to break up with him because Steve would run to the press with negative stories about him.

Eddie was still asleep, hadn’t seen most of what was being posted since the interview aired first thing that morning, but Steve did.

He liked Hannah’s statement and posted it to his Instagram story with a heart emoji.

He went through some responses from Eddie’s bandmates and liked them, too.

Steve is probably the best thing that’s happened to all of us, so any “fan” of ours who doesn’t see how awesome he is, consider yourself uninvited to any show. Gareth posted.

You guys better hope Eddie doesn’t hop on here and see all this or he’ll end up hunting you for sport. Jeff joked, though Steve knew that he may be more right than not.

Imagine being so jealous of someone that you decide to make fun of the one thing they’re self-conscious about. Couldn’t be me. Grant posted on all his social media profiles.

Then he saw Robin’s post and his heart stopped for a moment.

My best friend is the bravest person I know. He only has a stutter because he risked his life to protect me. If head trauma is a joke to you, then I hope you find new material soon. When Eddie sees this, he’s gonna lose his shit.

Steve let out a mix of a sob and a laugh, startling Eddie awake.

“What is it, sweetheart? What’s wrong?” he asked as he sat up in their bed.

“I g-guess p-people aren’t a b-big fan of me,” he said as he held his phone out towards Eddie to show him what was going on.

Eddie’s face flushed red with anger before he calmly handed Steve his phone back.

“Eds?”

Eddie silently reached for his own phone and pulled up his notes app.

Steve watched him type furiously for a few minutes, then screenshot a couple of times, and open Instagram.

“Eds…it’s fine. Not w-worth it.”

But it was too late, and Steve’s phone went off with a notification that he’d been tagged in Eddie’s post.

It was a series of pictures, the first being a picture taken of them shortly after Steve’s worst head injury, when he barely could speak at all.

The next few images were the screenshots from Eddie’s phone.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but here goes. Steve Harrington, soon-to-be Munson, is the best person I know. I am lucky to be able to wake up next to him, to call him mine, to be his. He is incredibly brave, incredibly loving, and much too forgiving. He will be much nicer than I will. He is not defined by his stutter, but it is a part of his life, and it does impact him much more than he should ever have to worry about. But that picture you just saw? That was a man who could barely even say my name. I thought I would never hear him even say my name again. I’ve seen comments making fun of how he talks, how long it takes him to say some things, his intelligence. And I won’t tolerate it. If you have anything negative to say about him, unfollow me before I block you myself. Fame means absolutely nothing to me compared to this man, and I won’t let him suffer through the bullying just so I can make some fucking music. See yourself out or see us be happy. Up to you.

The last image was a picture of them the night before, cozy in their bed, Steve looking into the camera while Eddie looked at him, so much love passing from him it was almost a physical presence.

“Eds-” Steve started.

“I love you. I won’t let anyone let you think for a second that I don’t,” Eddie said fiercely.

“I know. I l-love you, t-too.”

They both shut off their phones for the rest of the day, didn’t care much for anything outside of their bed.

Steve called Hannah to thank her for everything the next day, and she was grateful to hear from him. He explained that he wouldn’t be doing any more interviews, but was glad he’d had a positive experience with her.

“Do you think Eddie will come back to the show someday to talk about you?” she asked.

“I th-think you’ll reg-gret asking him back. He won’t sh-shut up about me,” Steve smirked to himself.

“He shouldn’t. You’re both so lucky to have each other.”

“Yeah. W-we are.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ficlet #request #rock star eddie munson #modern au #established relationship

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boldlyvoid · 4 months

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Come Together

18+ Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Summary: Ever since the academy, Aaron and Y/N have been at each other's throats for a spot on the BAU. He got it, She didn't. Now they have to plan the Bureau's Holiday party together without killing each other.

Warnings: angst, fighting, mutual pining, enemies to lovers, Aaron had a crush on her while married. why he and haley broke up, miscarriage mentions, divorced Aaron, flirting, teasing, kissing, fingering, hate sex, p in v smut, rough sex, no condoms used

Word Count: 4.8k

Penelope is usually the one to plan holiday parties… but after last year's spiked punch— that ruined a lot of upper agents' sobriety, which wasn’t her fault at all, the director delegated to having two random people plan it together. He pulled names from a hat that just happened to be Aaron Hotchner and Y/N Y/L/N.

She was happy to do it, and he was fine with doing it… they just weren’t happy about doing it together. The two agents couldn’t stand each other and it goes all the way back to being in the same year at the academy.

They were tied for the top of the class, duking it out to be the chosen one for Agent Rossi’s new right-hand man. And of course, it went to a man. It didn’t matter to them that she was fantastic at what she did, or that her final score was 0.2% higher than his. He was a man so he got it.

She got a job in CARD which, she liked, it was still an opportunity to solve cases and bring kids home to their parents… she just had to work with the BAU more than she liked and take orders from them. And then Rossi left, Gideon stepped down and Aaron Hotchner was the fucking Head of the BAU.

She was taking orders from him. Him and his goon squad of pretty people he picked over her.

She would’ve pushed everything aside and dealt with him, she would’ve mended things if he accepted her into the team. But he never did. After 5 applications and being looked over for everything while he hired younger and younger, she finally gave up and started to hate his guts even more.

Now she’s in the elevator, pushing the button for floor 6 and shaking the thoughts of strangling him out of her head so she can deal with him for half an hour. He’s always so busy that she’s been waiting all week just to talk about this stupid fucking party, and the only time he has is at 8:30 pm on a Friday when she should be at home.

She walks right into the bullpen, up the stairs and knocks on his door. “come in?” He calls.

“Hey,” she says with a deep sigh. “Can we talk about the party?”

“Mhm,” he nods, waving her in. “Come sit, I already have some ideas.”

“Okay…” she sits down in front of him, ignoring all his plaques and accolades and staring down at her clipboard. “I called around and there are 3 places available that are big enough to hold us, on the 3rd Saturday of the month.”

“Awesome, I already called a friend of mine with a Christmas tree farm and acquired 3 trees— Douglas furs, all pretty and big, we’ll just need a ceiling over 12 feet to house them,” he explains.

“And who’s going to decorate them?” She asks.

He shrugs, “We’ve got a big budget, we can hire someone to do it.”

“Who did Penelope use?”

“Herself,” he smiles that devilishly condescending smile. “I’m sure if we ask she’d want to help out again. She loves Christmas.”

“Did you ever figure out who spiked the punch last year?” She asks, genuinely feeling sorry for Penelope.

Penny was the only one on the team that she actually liked.

He nods, “Dax Cooper up in counter-terrorism.”

“Yeah, he’s an asshole.”

“Worse than me?” He teases. “Seriously, when are you going to stop being mad at me?”

“When you admit you hate me!” She fights back. “I did nothing to you. You’re the one who conspired with Dave and got hired here and then you purposely lost all my applications and never let me know why you wouldn’t even interview me.”

“I didn’t lose them, I put them to the side,” he shrugs. “You weren’t ready to be on our team.”

“But the walking calculator and teen Mrs. USA are?” She laughs.

“Reid and JJ are wonderful assets,” he snaps, jaw tight and eyes full of fury. “This is why I don’t want you. You wouldn’t be a team player. Not until you get rid of the attitude and accept that this job is about more than numbers. Yes, they’re young, yes you beat me by a fraction of a percent, but that doesn’t mean you have what it takes to do what we do.”

“I look at cases full of missing, dead and raped kids all day, how is that any different?” She honestly can’t believe it.

“Because you look at a screen all day with facts and witness statements and I go out into the field and I talk to parents and I deal with the cops and I don’t start fights over petty bullshit,” he reminds her. “I have never called you names or signalled you out. All you do, every time we're on a scene together, is whisper and gossip and try to undermine me. You need to grow up.”

She just shakes her head, holding in a comment that could hurt him because… and she hates to say it, but he’s right. “Whatever. Should I call one of these places and book it tomorrow or what?”

“Do whatever you want, just give me the address so I can have the trees and decorations sent over,” he honestly doesn’t care. “I trust your judgement on a caterer, I’ll pick a band… what else would we need?”

“Invitations, which I can handle,” she assures as she stands up to walk to his door. “I’ll cc you on everything and include the director for oversight. I’ll call you if I have questions.”

“Y/N,” he calls out to her before she leaves. “I’m going to be looking for a new agent in a few months…”

“And?”

“If we can work this out by then… maybe things will be different when you apply this time?” He suggests, giving her innocent eyes and genuinely meaning it.

“Okay.”

—

“Did you see her last night?” Dave asks, walking right into Aaron's office with two coffees right at 8am.

He nods, “I did… you don’t have any connections to a band I can book for Christmas, do you?”

“The Jazz club might be able to lend us some members,” he suggests. “I’ll make a call… but I take it things went well?”

“As well as they could go, she’s still so mad at me for getting this position over her,” he shakes his head. “I don’t know how to make her realize she just wasn’t ready. Our working together would’ve been awful. It would’ve—

“Ruined your marriage that just ended?” Dave teases. “I know you liked her, I saw the way you two looked at each other and I saw the teasing and the way you talked about her. She was more than a friend to you… I couldn’t have her on the team like that. I couldn’t see you go through what I did with Caroline.”

“I hate thinking about how different things could’ve been if she was on the team though,” he shakes his head and stares off out the window. “We almost broke up back then, you know? We almost never had Jack…”

“You know it’s perfectly normal for marriages not to work out, it doesn’t mean you loved her any less, it just wasn’t meant to be forever,” Dave reminds him. “You’re still friends, there’s no ill will. You never cheated, she didn’t either. You just grew apart. It happens.”

“But now I’m single and I can pursue Y/N… but she hates me,” he sighs. “I don’t think she’ll ever stop hating me.”

“Nasty hate sex is fun,” Dave teases, making them both laugh. “I’m serious… you wouldn’t believe the women I’ve—

“I know, actually,” Aaron shakes his head. “Strauss can’t look at you the same anymore.”

“Hey… that wasn’t hate, it was just indifference,” he teases.

“Whatever,” Aaron can’t help but smirk. “Can you work on the band for me?”

“I will, I’ll get them to throw in some love songs too,” Dave teases on his way out.

This was going to be interesting.

—

Two weeks of planning and emails blow by in the blink of an eye.

He gets ready for the party early, having to be there to check things over and meet the band and shake hands with the higher-ups as they arrive. He has a nice suit on, a red tie for Christmas and dark green socks that no one will ever notice. But he wants to look nice.

For her.

He walks up to her where she’s hiding in the corner. Adorning the most stunning golden dress and holding her clipboard, making sure everything gets delivered and set up in time for the start time at 7. They still have 4 hours till then, but she’s an overachiever. And a worrier. She needed this to be perfect.

She looked perfect. Like the 2000 Holiday Barbie brought to life. He’s absolutely astounded by her beauty he just stares for a moment before he says anything.

“You know, you look very pretty today,” he compliments but she doesn’t take it that way.

She looks at him like he just insulted her mother. “What?”

“That dress, it looks nice on you,” he looks her up and down. Smiling like he has some tricks up his sleeve. “What? Can’t I think you look nice? Haven’t we spent enough time talking this last month to let me compliment you?”

“Don’t you have a wife?” She asks, disgusted he’d hit on her. “And a kid?”

“We got divorced back in April,” he shrugs. “And you say you want to be a profiler, yet you haven’t looked at my hands in months?”

She looks now, noticing that he doesn’t have a ring and the tan line that should be there is long gone, which means he’s telling the truth. “Oh… sorry.”

“It’s better this way,” he nods, giving her a sweet smile. “Is everything going to plan?”

She nods too, “Yeah. Just waiting on your band… please tell me they’re good?”

He laughs, “They’re great. Dave’s got this Jazz bar he basically owns with how much money he’s spent there so they owe him one… You’ll like them.”

“Jazz, at Christmas?” She can’t believe it. “Hotch—

“Aaron,” he corrects her. “Please, for the love of god, call me Aaron again.”

“Why?” She laughs, “We’re not close.”

“Oh, come on,” he teases. “You can’t tell me that before everything went down, we didn’t have something going on? We were friendly, I almost thought you had a crush on me?”

She looks at him with a brow raised, “You thought I had a crush on you?”

He nods, “And then you found out I was married.”

“So you’re saying if you weren’t married we could’ve hooked up at the academy?” She asks. “Sounds like you liked me too, regardless of the wife.”

“No—

“Be honest,” she begs, stepping into his space even more. “If things were different- if you didn’t have a wife and we fucked back then, would you have screwed me over for the job?”

“I didn’t screw you over, I simply already knew Dave,” he finally admits after 10 long years. “I knew he was about to leave, he knew Gideon didn’t want to be in charge. He wanted someone to run the whole unit who wouldn’t choke— not saying you’d choke, he just knew I was already hard on the inside, I wasn’t going to lose my mind with all the shit we see.”

“You could’ve put in a good word for me, Aaron, I would’ve been fine working under you. I would’ve loved even just an office job in the BAU, I want to work with more than just missing kids,” she begs. “I’ve done it for 10 years, now. You know that makes me strong. You have a kid of your own, you know it’s not easy to think about them missing, let alone deal with it.”

“I know… and I was serious, I have a new position opening up and I want to give this another try,” he admits. “I want you on the team.”

She shakes her head, “how can I be on the team when this—” she points between them. “This, whatever this is, is going on?”

“The sexual tension?” He teases and she swats his arm. “We’ll be fine.”

She shakes her head. “Just, give me some time to think about it?”

“I can do that…”

—

She watches him from afar most of the night. Talking only when they needed to, like in front of the director or on stage while introducing the band and thanking everyone for being there… she was having a very hard time being in the same room as him with all she knew now.

She was still mad at him.

Mad because she’s wasted so much of her life hating him when they could’ve been happy together… but at the same time she was sad for his ex-wife. She wondered how long the marriage was loveless. Did she know? Did she suspect? Who broke it off? Does he see his son? She knew he was a good man back then but, what kind of good man has a crush on someone else while married? Would he just do that to her if they got together?

She had so many questions in her mind and they wouldn’t shut up.

He approaches her again while she’s deep in thought, staring at the floor while she sips on a drink she doesn’t even like.

“Having fun?” He asks.

She shakes her head, “No.” she puts her drink down on the table just behind her and turns back to him as he begins to speak.

“Something not going according to pl—

“Why the fuck did you have to tell me you like me?” She snaps. “I was so okay with hating you for the rest of my life because I couldn’t be on the team I always wanted to join and then you tell me you like me? That if you didn’t have a wife you’d want to be with me back then?”

He steps more into her space so they can keep their voices down and between each other, “because you deserve to know.”

“No, I don’t think so,” she fights back. “You were never worried about me being too immature for the team, you were scared you’d end up cheating on your wife with me. I didn’t even know you had a wife until I developed feelings for you. You never wore your ring to class, we spent every day sitting together in class or at the library and you came back to my dorm a few times… you pursued me as much as I was pursuing you and then you made it my fault.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he bows his head, ashamed. “My wife and I weren’t in a good place, we were talking about getting separated… then she got pregnant.”

“I thought Jack was only—

“We lost a couple babies before him,” he admits. “I didn’t want to be like my dad. I didn’t want to knock her up and leave her so I stayed. I stayed but I wasn’t a good dad anyway. I was always at work, I missed important things with my son and she was the one to end it because she deserved someone who wanted to be home with her and my son deserved to grow up knowing his dad wasn’t always going to be there but loves him enough to be as present as possible when he is home. I couldn’t be that when I was with his mom. we’re so much better apart, I love having weekends alone with my son and doing things we like and not worrying about fighting with his mother in front of him. And she’s happier now with her new boyfriend and Jack's happy with the prospect of a stepdad who can step up in all the areas I lack.”

“That’s a really mature thing to do for him,” she manages to give him a small, press-lipped smile. “Still doesn’t make me feel better about what you did to me.”

“I’ve wanted to tell you the truth and that I’m sorry for so long, but when we’re together it’s always a fight. I can never get an honest minute with you, you always just come in guns blazing and my instinct is to tease you back,” he admits. “I am sorry. I wish things were different. I would like to start over if you’d allow me to.”

“I don’t want a job on your team,” she says, stepping in even closer. Close enough to kiss him. “I can’t work with you like this.”

“Why?” He smirks.

“Because Strauss hates you enough as is without you fucking your subordinate,” she whispers. “I’m not throwing myself under the bus… just to be under you.”

He lunges for a kiss, pressing his lips against hers as he cups her face. She backs up slightly in surprise, bumping into the table behind herself. Aaron’s instincts are sharp, he reaches behind her and steadies it so the drink doesn’t crash against the floor and draw more attention to them. She knows the few people in this corner are already looking at them, but she doesn’t care.

This is a kiss she’s waited a decade for.

Her hands go inside his suit jacket, she reaches around to grasp his back and pulls him flush against herself. They break the kiss just to breathe, going in for another and another until their tongues meet and they’re the odd couple making out in the corner of the party.

His hand slips from her cheek to her jaw, along the side of her neck and then she pulls away, “not here,” she reminds him they’re in public and he can’t touch her anywhere he wants to.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “How long do we have to stay here?”

“I have to stay for shutdown tonight,” she sighs. “But…. Come with me.”

She pats his side and moves past him, leading him out of the little corner they’re in and towards the main room. He follows her up a staircase, past people they both know and respect and they catch a few eyes but, she puts on a fake pissed-off look and they think she’s leading him somewhere to yell at him… cause that’s what they do.

“Hey man, where are you going?” Derek asks as they pass him and Penelope sharing a plate of hors d’oeuvres.

He’s quick on his feet, “One of the vendors fucked up, we have to chat with their boss and discuss how they can make it up to us.”

“Oh, damn, well… have fun,” he teases. Letting them go on down the small corridor towards some offices.

She leads him to the only open office she has access to, flicks on the light, lets him in and locks the door behind them. He’s quick to crowd her space, press her up against the door and grip her chin to tilt her attention up toward his eyes once more. She’s back inside his suit jacket, he’s so toasty-warm in there she can only imagine what it’ll be like to be naked with him.

“What were you saying about fucking up and making up for it?” She teases him.

He smirks, “I will… but first we need to find a way to release all that pent-up frustration we have against each other.”

She tries her best not to laugh, just shaking her head with a smile as she lets out a little huff, “Ah yes, fuck me like you hate me so we can restart fresh.”

He cups her face with both hands, eyes darkening with lust, “you’ve been such a brat for so long.”

“And I’m sure you know the cure for that?” She teases, pulling him in closer. One of her legs slips out of the slit of her dress and she brings it up to wrap around his hip, he’s quick to drop one of the hands from her cheek to grip her thigh.

“I do,” he whispers, his voice so deep it makes her stomach drop with anticipation.

He kisses her abruptly, she grips his back pulling him as if they could possibly get any closer but they can’t. Not yet. He grinds against her as their tongues meet again, his hand on her leg goes a little higher until he’s gripping her ass. The hand on her cheek starts to slip again, caressing her chest, she lightly moans into his mouth at the feeling. He’s everywhere, boxing her in against the door, but she wants more. She wants him buried deep inside of her, pounding her against the table over there, letting her know just how much he’s wanted her this whole time.

He kisses the side of her mouth, her jaw and down her neck, letting her catch her breath just to knock it all out of her again when he starts to lightly suck on her skin. “Aaron, don’t you fucking dare,” she scolds him.

“I won’t,” he speaks against her, just lightly nipping and sucking at her skin on his way down to her cleavage.

She pulls her hands out from inside his jacket to roam his shoulders until one hand ends up at the nape of his neck to play with his hair. Her head is tossed back against the door, and he kisses every inch of available skin on her chest.

He reaches down and gets both of his hands under her ass, making her jump up so he can carry her. Still kissing her neck, he moves them over to the table and sets her down. She’s just the tiniest bit taller now, he kisses her cheek again, looking her in the eye once more as he spreads her legs and runs his fingers along her thighs, realizing now she has nylons on. His hands go further, towards her aching cunt, he grips her thighs while both thumbs play with the seam of her nylons.

“I’m gonna rip these,” he announces, finding the weakest part of the seam and tearing it open enough to fit his cock through, without completely ruining them. He moves her thong to the side and drags his index finger over her clit. “You’re fucking soaked…”

She tosses her head back, both hands gripping the table like her ice depends on it when two of his fingers plunge into her. “Oh, fuck,” she moans a little too loud.

Attaching his lips to her neck again, he sucks on her pulse point while fucking her on his fingers. It’s hard and quick, covering the palm of his hand with her slick as his thumb rubs her clit. She’s always known his hands would be good for this, if nothing else.

“Please, Aaron? Oh my god,” She starts to beg.

“Words, princess,” he teases against her neck, teeth grazing her skin, his breath hot, it sends a shiver down her spine.

“Wanna cum,” she whispers, breathy and so close. “On your cock.”

“Okay,” he pulls out, bringing his hand to his mouth and licking his palm up to his fingers. He sucks them into his mouth with a groan. His cock twitches between them, jumping with excitement.

She whines again while he undoes the zipper and tugs his cock out, “please?”

“Hold on,” he spreads the excess wetness over his cock, stroking himself twice while biting his tongue. It clearly felt so fucking good but she knew her tight cunt was going to be better.

He slips in slowly and her grip changes, letting go of the counter, she wraps her legs around him and grips his back with her fingernails dug into the skin. “Better?” He whispers into her ear.

She whimpers when he doesn’t move, feeling so full, “fuck me, please? Fuck me the way I deserve.”

He hums, kissing her cheek before looking into her eyes, all watery and blown out, her mascara started to run a bit. He tilts his head to the side, “how hard?”

“Hard,” she looks him dead in the face.

He slips out, pulls her off the table and turns her around so her chest is against the cold hardwood table-top and flips her dress skirt up and out of the way. He rips her nylons even more, all the way up the back so her ass is exposed. He takes her ass cheeks in his hands and spreads her apart, amazed at how her pussy clenched in anticipation.

“Please,” she whined, almost stomping her feet with desperation.

He slams into her without warning, making her gasp loud enough to be heard by anyone wandering the hallway outside.

He pulls out a bit and slams back into her again and again and again until the noises she’s making are complete nonsense. She whines and moans and leans against the table for dear life while pushing back against him. He slaps her ass a few times, making the sound reverberate around the room like an echo.

He needs more friction, so his thrusts get less powerful and more rhythmic, he uses her like a toy bouncing her on his cock like a rag doll. She felt like her main purpose in life was to be fucked by him like this, it felt so good, it felt incredibly right, and she loved every fucking second of it. All those years of fighting paid the fuck off.

He slams into her cervix over and over, the head of his cock kissing the puckered spot inside again and again. Her hungry cunt sucks him in so deep, never wanting him to leave, and he can tell she’s close just from the way she clamps around him like a vice. He reached around to her stomach and drags his hand down her mound to rub her clit with his middle finger. The rhythm barely matches, but she loves the way it feels. It’s unpredictable, it’s all under his control, she just sits there and takes it like the good girl he’s raised her to be.

“Cum on the cock you hate so much,” he insists, “I wanna feel it. I want you to cover my cock in your cum before I fill you up to the fucking brim.”

Too fucked out to really respond she reaches one hand behind her back so he’ll hold it. He intertwines their fingers and leans forward to kiss her shoulder as his hips snap against hers with force. She starts to shake, her legs barely able to keep her up as her orgasm hits her and rattles through her body. He feels the spasm from the inside, her cunt flutters as she releases all the built-up tension in her body She’s so fucking tight he’s barely able to register his own orgasm approaching when he topples over her on the table.

He fucks into her as deep as he can go and then stills. She can feel rope after rope of his cum pump into her, they can hear the dribbles on the floor between them as it overflows and drips out of her, along with her own.

He kisses her back, breathing hard against her. She’s just trapped there under him, legs quaking in her heels, “holy fuck?”

“Sorry,” he pulls back and out of her, “shit… we didn’t think this through.”

She sighs, holding her dress up so she doesn’t make a mess. “Are there any tissues in here?”

He looks around, “Yeah… but it’s just that brown paper towel roll like we have at work.”

“It’ll do,” she shrugs. Watching him walk over to the dispenser near the sink in the corner of the room, he takes a bit out and cleans himself up quickly, putting himself back in his boxers before her gets some more.

He leans her forward again, kneeling behind her, he cleans her up to the best of his ability and then he repositions her thong. He even wipes up the floor before tossing the paper out. “I can’t believe there was so much…”

She laughs, dropping her dress back down and fluffing it so it looks normal again. “10 years worth of—

“Okay,” he shakes his head with a smirk, stepping back into her space, he wraps her up and kisses her forehead, “you did so good.”

“Thank you,” she smiles sweetly, she feels so different. There’s so much affection in her chest as she looks up at him once more. “I’m glad we got that out of the way.”

“I’ll stay with you here while they’re cleaning up,” he assures. “And maybe later I can show you how sorry I am for keeping secrets all these years?”

“I’d really like that… but I’m still not working for you,” she teases.

“I guess I’ll just have to take on more CARD cases so you’re forced to see me,” he teases right back, smiling at her.

This is going to be fun.

General Taglist

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #hotch smut #hotch x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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won4ver · 2 months

Text

words left unsaid

- Nishimura Riki’s voicemail

pairing : idol!riki x idol!reader

warnings + genre : angst. mentions of crying. brief mention of choking. mentions of you having fem members, but no pronouns used.

w/c : 556

series masterlist

Hi ynnie, today was the award show that we’ve been looking forward to. Our first award show after making our relationship public. I’ve been hurting a lot more this week knowing today was coming up, it didn’t feel very good.

It was weird walking into the venue and seeing your members without you, they looked empty. Everyone could tell that they weren’t well, there was this evident wall between them all.

You guys were always praised as being extremely close, labeled as a found family. It hurt knowing they were missing you just as much as me, how much your departure hurt everyone.

They all sat there in silence, avoiding eye contact with everyone and just fiddling with themselves. The fans weren’t the same either, but what they created for you was beautiful.

During your group's performance the entire room was lit up. I think every person in the crowd had your guys’ light sticks, it made me really happy to see that even after life you’re still so loved.

I saw a lot of artists crying during your groups performance, crying even harder when your members didn’t sing your parts. I wish I could say I did good today, but I don’t think I did.

I cried a lot, the cameras seemed to be glued to me after our relationship was revealed, even more after you left. I wish you were here to see all the support that everyone left for us, many people were extremely happy for our relationship, or what it was.

I’m really tired lately, it’s been harder to keep going without you. I try to call you as much as I can, it’s always the first and last thing I do while I’m awake.

The hyungs found out about our calls this morning. For some reason I felt like they were going to judge me, to tell me to let you go and move on. But they did the opposite.

They asked me if they could talk with you, if they could tell you about how their lives have been going. They all miss you so much, we have your photo picture framed on the living room wall.

I even saw Jungwon hyung wearing your sweater, the second he saw me he came over and hugged me. We cried together, I think we both needed it. Instead of going out for dinner to celebrate we came back to our dorm, we even invited your members.

We all came together and ate your favourite food, obviously prepared by Jay and Asa noona. I genuinely felt happy, I think we all did. For the first time in a while we didn’t spend dinner in silence, and there weren't any tears this time! Well sad tears, I think Jaerin cried while she was laughing at Jia for choking on a piece of rice.

I thought it was funny until the deja vu came tumbling in, my mind blanked as a memory popped up. It was our first date, you remember don’t you? When you choked on a piece of rice?

I see you in everything, even in little things. Anyways I can hear Sunghoon hyung yelling at me to let him have a turn with you, he’s so annoying.

We miss you so much, I miss you so much. I love you, my star.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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griffintail2 · 2 months

Note

do u take requests? if so, i ask for angel dust with a teen fem reader who’s in a relatively similar situation as he’s in with valentino, except it’s with mammon, like fizzaroli from hb, plz!

I do take requests! Congrats you're the first on this blog! :D Now I've never watched Helluva, yet. I keep meaning to. So I kept the concept of Mammon and Fizzaroli's relationship that I learned from my friend who HAS watched Helluva and changed Mammon to a sinner I made up on the spot. Same context still! I hope you enjoy!! ♥

Everything to Me

Pairings: Angel Dust x Fem! Teen! Reader

Warnings: Implied Manipulation, Light Angst, Val mentioned, Mentions of Minor Injuries

----

The teenager had come into the hotel, slightly frazzled to begin with but with time, she was a bright and cheerful sinner.

Angel was the one to bring it out of her, taking the kid under his wing. He…saw signs he knew all too well. It was easy for him to connect with her because of that and when (Y/N) became more comfortable, he was so happy to see the real her. It always brightened his days when he came back to the hotel to see the teen smiling genuinely now.

And for a while, he thought she was fine! It seemed like the kid had been holing herself in the hotel to escape whatever situation she was in. That was the one thing he couldn’t get the kid to talk about. She refused to talk about before the hotel, or even most things she did when out of the hotel.

It made Angel nervous when she didn’t tell him about what she was doing when out, but she always came back bright and cheerful. So, he had hoped she’d gotten herself out of the situation that brought her here in the first place.

Then a Saturday night came around.

Angel, himself, crashed on the couch in the parlor after a long day at the studio. Val had discovered a few new things he had wanted to try today and Angel just needed five minutes. Five minutes to get his head together before he tried to interact with people…

“Angel,” Charlie said above him.

He let out a breath before he opened his eyes, his smile a bit tight as he looked at Charlie, but his brow furrowed seeing Charlie’s nervous look, Vaggie just as worried behind her.

“What’s up toots?”

“We…Well, I went to go get (Y/N) for redemption activities while you were gone and she wasn’t in her room.” He was quick to sit up at that. “And we tried to call and text her to see where she was but she didn’t answer either.”

“So, you don’t know where she is?!”

“No.” Vaggie shook her head.

“Fuck, why didn’t you call me?” Angel took his phone out, dialing (Y/N). She never ignored his calls, but it just rang with no answer. “Shit! I’m going out to find her.”

“Everyone else is already out looking, we were waiting for you and seeing if she came back,” Charlie told him as they rushed to the door.

Angel didn’t know where to start, but he was going to look over the Pride Ring if he had to. Hours and hours passed, and it drove him nuts and exhausted him, but there was no sign of the teen. He had to be dragged back to the hotel when he refused to stop.

As he went back to the hotel, he gripped tightly to his arms. He’d gone everywhere he could think that the kid would go, running for hours between each place and asking around. Hell! He’d ignored calls from Val so he could keep looking. Consequences be damned, he’d find his kid.

Even though he was being dragged back to rest, he was only getting thirty minutes before he rushed back out to find the teen.

With that plan in mind, when he walked into the hotel, his worry and determination blossomed into several other emotions as he saw (Y/N) making her way up the lobby stairs.

(Y/N) stopped hearing the door open, eyes tired as her hands were tucked into her hoodie pocket, letting out one word and nothing more. “Hey.”

The exhausted pornstar could now only feel one emotion.

“Where the fuck have you been?! You weren’t answering your fucking phone! You didn’t tell anyone where you went! We’ve been all over Hell looking for your ass! And you’re just here!” Angel yelled as he came over to the teen.

“Angel-!” Charlie started.

“I just got back.” She muttered.

“You’ve been gone for a whole ass day! Without a single fucking word! What were you thinking?”

His brain slammed on the brakes when the teen teared up, looking at the ground.

“It’s-I—” She gripped the inside of her pocket. “I…I don’t know…I—”

She was fighting a sob.

Angel sighed deeply as he ran two of his hands through his hair.

“Look. We’re both exhausted.” Angel said. “We’ll talk about it later. Just…go sleep and we’ll talk.”

She nodded before rushing upstairs. Angel took a deep breath as Charlie put a hand on one of his arms.

“At least she’s here.” Charlie tried to look on the bright side.

“Yeah...” Angel mumbled. “I’m going to get some sleep.”

As exhausted as the spider sinner was, he lay in bed, eyes open as he stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t get the look of pain on (Y/N)’s face out of his mind. The more he thought about his regret for shouting, he realized how devasted the kid looked before he started yelling. Groaning into his hands, he got up and went to her room.

When he got to the door, his chest was tight when he heard sobbing inside. Taking a breath, he knocked as he opened the door slowly.

“Hey, kid.”

(Y/N) let out a shaky gasp she looked up at him as he came in, Angel freezing in the door seeing her with her hoodie off and able to fully see the bruises and scars and fresh injuries on her arms. He stepped in completely, closing the door, keeping his anger in check for whoever did this.

“Who did this?” Angel asked carefully.

“I um—I—” (Y/N) pulled her knees close to her chest, tears falling faster before she let out a shaky breath knowing there was no use lying. “T-The gang on the E-East end.”

“Why the fuck did they attack you?” Angel bristled, struggling to keep his anger in.

“…….Because I attacked them first.” She muttered.

Angel faltered at that, trying to make sense of why the honestly sweet teen attacked a gang.

“Why? What?” He looked at her confused as he went over to the bed.

She looked away, gripping onto the fabric of her pants, silent tears falling.

“Kid.” Angel sat next to her, gently putting a hand on her arm. “You can talk to me. I have no room to judge anyone.” He joked lightly, making the teen glance over at him. “I’m here for you. Just tell me what’s going on toots.”

She watched him before looking at the wall across the room. “I um…I-I was nobody in life…No one looked at me. No one saw me…Then I died and…it was happening all over again! There was no one…”

He gently rubbed her arm in comfort, frowning slightly when the teen gave a tiny, strained smile.

“Then Felix saw me. He saw me when I used my powers.”

Angel knew vaguely of (Y/N)’s powers. She was able to manipulate the ground, and even pull up part of it to use as weapons. It was pretty good shit when she was focused.

“He has such big plans! And he asked me to join him. Me. He wants to become an Overlord. And with my help, he can. He promises, he promises. When he does, I’ll be at his side and everyone will see me. I won’t be a nobody. I’ll be somebody.”

Her smile disappeared as she stared down at the bed with furrowed brows.

“We um…weget put in a lot of fights for the plans. He needs the territory to take over…This last one…I fucked up. I lost the fight and…He’s not happy with me right now and I…” She let out a quiet sob. “He got so angry with me and then you were angry and I—God I’m such a fuck up!”

She was startled as Angel took her shoulders with one set of arms and her hands with the other. Looking up at Angel, she could see a small fire in his eyes, anger that Angel knew was for this Felix brat. But, the rest of the look was calm and gentle for the teen he’d taken under his wing.

“Kid. I need you to listen to me carefully, alright?” Angel told her and she nodded slowly as Angel’s two other arms appeared, wiping away her tears. “You’re NOT a nobody. You’re somebody. You’re somebody to me, to Charlie, to Husk, to everyone in this hotel. And if anyone else thinks different, they don’t fucking matter. They ain’t worth your time. And this Felix cat, he’s the nobody. If he can’t make it without you, that should tell you how amazing you are and how shit he is. You understand me?”

Fresh tears rolled down (Y/N)’s cheeks, and Angel wiped them away immediately.

“B-But, what—”

“No what’s. Do you get me, kid?”

It took a moment but (Y/N) nodded before moving out of Angel’s hold to hug him instead. Angel held onto her tightly, sighing softly as he rubbed her back.

“You’re everything to me, kid. Don’t ever forget that.”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #x reader #teen reader #hazbin angel dust #angel dust x reader #hazbin angel dust x reader

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snowyh2o · 3 months

Text

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7&8 Spoilers:

Ok, ok. I’ve finally calmed down a bit. I have. SO many thoughts on Alastor, that I’m just not gonna touch on them in this post, aside from I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS LOSING IT FBSKDNFBSHHDHFBS.

But what I wanna focus on is Rosie! And how she’s been described as the nicest overlord. And how Cannibal Town is like, the nicest place we’ve seen in hell??? The streets are relatively clean, no one is trynna kill each other. There’s so many people out on the streets, just? Going about their days? Aside from the fact that they’re all cannibals, it’s almost like any other town you’d visit! (I am not familiar enough with the fashion styles over the years to like, accurately date what time period Cannibal Town is supposed to reflect, but it feels old (and somewhere Alastor would fit right in with) lol).

And then we actually meet with Rosie, and she’s in the middle of consulting one of her people, where there’s a HUGE line up of others looking like they’re waiting to consult with her too! And like, even before she spoke with Charlie about her love life, she’s giving advice and comfort and support and connecting to the lady she’s speaking with who apparently wants to eat her husband. Before saying that she’ll set the man straight if the lady sends him to her, and gives her a card if she ever needs any more help.

Like. First minute into seeing Rosie and like. WOW. You can IMMEDIATELY tell that this is the reason why everyone in Cannibal Town’s so chill and happy? Why there’s such a sense of order and security in a place that’s basically just anarchy?

Rosie is both the Overlord, the unofficial mayor, the therapist and consultant and your best friend all wrapped up into one. She’s got an entire lineup of people who are waiting to tell her their woes and listen to her advice. And she’s happy to help!

Even the actual cannibalism is like, so posh and proper? Or it’s treated in Cannibal Town as like, normal food. But also it’s very telling that no one’s killing each other for said cannibalism. In fact, the only times we’ve seen them do so is after an extermination, when there’s a bunch of dead bodies that aren’t reviving lying around. (And they seem to lose their manners when eating then) It is likely tho that they just, target outsiders, since everyone we saw aside from Alastor and Charlie were a part of Cannibal Town.

Just the Juxtaposition of a town literally full of Cannibals being probably THE nicest place in hell for sinners to live in??? Immaculate.

Also, Rosie’s snide comment on how Alastor’s got no manners when it comes to being offered food LOL. And, I just LOVE their relationship and interaction. First time chatting in years and she’s already offering up place with a deal for Alastor to go make. That AMAZING little joke about him being Ace and having it COMPLETELY flying over his head. Alastor letting her touch him, and how genuinely excited and happy the two of them are just talking and interacting. Their little duet in the middle of the song, the way Rosie pulls Alastor out of his scheming to just enjoy the moment. Their dance!!! She’s never been wronged by Alastor before!!! She trusts him to follow through on his side of the unofficial bargain/favor. Looking like proud parents when Charlie finds the courage to sing her pitch. I love, everything about these two, oh my god.

Anyways!!! Back to Rosie being just, a genuinely good aunt? And giving so much good advice for Charlie. Asking her the questions that needed to be asked. Rosie has, such good insight? On what the issue was, and why Vaggie would’ve kept something from her. She didn’t shy away from how big the secret was, but she also didn’t let Charlie spiral into questioning every little part of their relationship. And that little end but when she’s saying that Vaggie is flawed, but so is everyone else down in hell. GAWD. How it’s difficult to admit your regrets. Like, if that isn’t the core of the show, the core of Charlie’s dream, then I don’t know what is. Rosie cut through to the heart of the matter, she didn’t tell Charlie what she should feel or how she should act, but asked her what she’s actually feeling, and why, and told her to trust herself and her own judgement on if Vaggie’s actions were sincere or not. Man she’s such a good therapist.

(I’m half convinced Alastor didn’t just bring Charlie to Cannibal Town and see Rosie just because they needed support and numbers to fight against the exorcists, but also because she’s the best person he knows who can give out good relationship advice and he’s getting a little tired of Charlie venting at him. Especially now that she’s past the self loathing phase and has stepped into the unrestrained anger and frustration at someone else phase)

Also, unrelated topic but here’s a thought: only angel steel/holy weapons/powers can do permanent damage to someone’s body/soul. Vaggie’s eye is torn out by Lute’s exorcist blade, but her wings were just ripped off by hand. Vaggie’s eye never regenerated or recovered, but she was able to regrow her wings. Alastor was struck by Adam’s holy weapon across his chest. What if the injury never fully recovers?

And also, Alastor’s talk about “unclipping” his wings. My friend, once a bird’s wings are clipped they can’t be unclipped! You have to wait for the feathers to shed and grow in new ones. To regenerate. Also what is this talk about you having wings??? Don’t tell me you’re ALSO a secret angel??? Probably not cause your blood is red BUT. Where are you hiding those supposed clipped wings of yours eh?!

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meekahy · 5 months

Text

Sweets

HERE'S PART 3 OF BULLET TRAIN!

ALSO Happy Thanksgiving yall! I'll work on part 4 during the next few days!

taking requests!

Here's some sweet Noah for ya

After you lazily woke up from your nap, you checked your phone. It had blown up with messages and calls from your parents.

“Shit,” you whispered as you untangled yourself from Noah. He groaned as he woke up seeing you shift to sit on the edge of the bed.

“What’s going on?” he questioned while rubbing his eyes.

“My parents have been trying to get ahold of me,” you responded quietly. You dialed your mom’s phone number quickly before hitting the call button.

“Savannah, we’ve been trying to reach you for hours,” your mom said as you rolled your eyes.

“What’s going on?” you grumbled into the receiver.

“Don’t start with that attitude, young lady. We were hoping you could help your brother with money,” she asked.

“Mom, I told all of you I’m not giving him any more money,” you hissed.

Your mom kept making up excuses for you to help your brother. But you just couldn’t anymore. Andrew uses and you couldn’t support that. He is a habitual liar and he’s so compulsive; he tried to drain you of your money. Who knew he’d drain you of all your energy as well?

“Maybe if you came home and helped out like a daughter should, we wouldn’t be calling you all the time,” your mom retorted. You stayed silent.

She continued, “You’d be a better daughter if you helped us out more often and considered our feelings. But you’re just a stubborn, self-centered baby.”

After letting your mom talk like that for a while, you said goodbye and hung up.

“What did they want?” Noah inquired.

Sighing, you recalled, “They just want me to give Andrew more money and put me down again. This time she called me a stubborn, self-centered baby.” “I’m sorry, honey. You’re worth so much more than that,” Noah reassured you. He sat up next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You rested your head against the crook of his neck.

“I’m just getting tired of dealing with them,” you confessed with tears threatening to fall down your cheeks.

“I know,” he whispered as he leaned his head against yours, “so what would you like to do for dinner?”

“Whatever you're in the mood for,” you responded as you lifted your head to look into his eyes.

“Wanna just order a pizza and watch some movies?” Noah quickly asked.

“Yes, that sounds good,” you smiled and pecked his lips.

He whipped out his phone to put in the pizza order, “Do you want to see what movies are on?” he mumbled.

“Sure!” you replied as you turned the TV on. You flipped through the channels to see what was on since hotels rarely had Netflix. You stumbled on the beginning of The Conjuring. “Oooo, this is one of my favorites!” you exclaimed as you tossed the remote on the nightstand.

“Pizza is ordered! What did you find?” Noah asked as he sat himself against the headboard and threw an arm out waiting for you to join him.

“The Conjuring,” you replied as you scooted yourself closer to Noah. You sighed and Noah squeezed your shoulder.

“You okay?” he whispered.

“I just keep thinking about everything that keeps happening with my parents, my brother, and Josh. It’s really heavy,” you confessed as Noah listened to every word.

“I know, but I’m right here with you, remember?” Noah reminded you.

You looked up into his eyes with genuineness lacing your voice, “Noah, I honestly don’t know where I would be without you.”

He kissed you hard and fast, “Sav, I’m not leaving you.”

A few tears escaped your eyes and Noah quickly wiped them away with his thumb. You sighed as you replied, “You’re stuck with me, babe.”

Noah chuckled as he turned his attention from you to the door. Someone knocked loudly. “Pizza!” Noah exclaimed as he jumped from the bed to the door. He paid the delivery person and closed the door bringing the pizza to the bed.

Your stomach growled as you inhaled the smell of the pizza. You both grabbed a slice and turned your attention back to The Conjuring. It was at the part where the dog died.

“I hate it when animals die in movies!” you yelled.

“The fucking worst, babe,” he mumbled as he munched on his pizza.

“Ugh!” you exclaimed in response.

The more you watched the movie, the quicker you ate and your pizza disappeared.

Each time there were little jump scares, they turned into big jump scares because Noah made you jump each time. Which resulted in a smack to his chest every time.

After the movie, you asked Noah if he wanted to go on a walk. He said it sounded like a good idea.

Hand in hand, you and Noah started to walk around with no destination in mind. The silence between you wasn’t awkward but it was healing. You put your free hand on Noah’s bicep as you sighed. “What’s on your mind, love?” Noah questioned.

“A lot of things,” you responded. He looked at you to continue.

“Well, I just don’t understand why my parents would treat me this way when my brother is the way that he is! I don’t understand my parents, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins when they won’t come visit one of us who is sick and in the hospital. I don’t understand my brother, who uses drugs, never sees his own daughter, and who treats me like shit. I just want to be treated like a human. I want the bare minimum. Is that so much to ask for?” you asked him waiting for a real response.

“No, I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. You deserve the bare minimum and then some. There is no reason for your family to be treating you like shit. They should care about you. They should take care of their own shit. They should visit Josh. None of it makes sense. I’m sorry about that. But just know you are so loved,” he stopped walking and clasped both of your hands in his, “You are such a good person. You think of everyone before yourself, you believe in the good in people, and you are so incredibly strong.”

By the end of his speech, you are sobbing. You’re so grateful to have someone be honest with you and to have someone who loved you. You felt Noah pull you into his chest as sobs rack your body. Noah pressed soft kisses to the crown of your head as tears fell from your eyes.

You peeled yourself away from Noah’s chest ready to praise him for being by your side, but your mouth opened and closed.

He just said “I know. It’s okay. I love you.”

You mouthed the words right back at him as he brought you back into another hug.

“Are you ready to go back to the hotel? It’s getting dark out,” he inquired.

“Yeah, let’s go back. Can we go see Josh in the morning?” you asked.

“Of course, sweets,” he stated as you laced your hands together walking back to the hotel.

PART 4

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#bad omens #nick folio #jolly karlsson #noah sebastian #nicholas ruffilo #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #bad omens fanfic

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millersdjarin · 1 year

Text

Some Invisible String

Chapter V: One Single Thread of Gold

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (afab)

Rating: E (18+ only!)

Summary: Ten years after Reader left Joel for reasons he still doesn’t know, they find themselves together again in a town called Jackson. Joel has questions he’s too afraid to ask; and Reader dreads having to give the answers.

Chapter length: 4.2k

Warnings/Tags: injury recovery, light angst, SMUT, crying during sex (but in a happy way), happy ending, unprotected p in v

Chapter Four (Previous) | Series Masterlist | Fic Masterlist

notes: final chapter! thank u for reading, i hope you enjoy ❤️

ps since tlou has new fans from the show (YAY!), just a heads up that this is post TLOU part 1 and following the details of game canon vs tv show canon, so spores for example. so, spoilers ahead for the story ❤️

“See? Told you she wouldn’t believe us.”

“I do,” I find myself saying, blinking at Ellie and Joel in their kitchen like each of them has just grown a second head. “I do believe you. I just…holy shit. You can breathe in spores, and everything?”

“Yup.”

I stare at Ellie with wide-eyes. Her sleeve is rolled up, revealing her bite. I never thought I’d see a healed bite from an infected. “Jesus,” I breathe out. I reach down for her arm, then ask, “Can I?”

Ellie nods and lifts it up to meet me, letting her forearm sit in my hand. I run my finger over the scar, feeling its raised bumps and wrinkles, completely dumfounded by the fact that this is an actual infected bite but it’s not red and angry, threatening to turn its victim at any minute; it’s been there for a year and a half. It’s healed, just as if it was from a dog, or something. Except it is absolutely, without question, the kind of bite that should’ve rendered her a clicker by now.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” I let her arm go. “I assume you don’t tell anyone about this?”

Rolling her sleeve back down, Ellie shakes her head. “No. We agreed it’s safer that way. Only a few people know.”

Something warm spreads in my chest. “I’m honoured to be one of them,” I give her a smile, hoping it comes across as genuine as I mean it to. “My lips are sealed. It’s pretty amazing, though, right? Did you get bitten when you were with Joel?”

“I…no. No, it was before that. We actually met because we…”

Gently, Joel continues for her, “We were going to the Fireflies. They thought she was the key to finding a cure, but…it didn’t work out.”

The vaguest hint of a frown works its way onto my face. I study Joel where he’s leaning against the kitchen counter, delicious arms folded over his chest, his jaw working away. I’ve never been able to describe what it is about him that I pick up on when he’s lying. All I know is that I know a lie from Joel when I hear one.

He looks at me like he knows that. Like he’s saying Not now.

“Damn,” I say to Ellie, then offer her a smile again, “you got a badass scar, though. Not that you can show anyone it, but still.”

She laughs a little. “I guess so.”

“So you came all the way from Boston to Wyoming together? How the hell did you manage that?”

“A whole lotta luck,” Joel says with a wry smile.

“And teamwork,” Ellie adds.

I laugh. “I’m impressed.”

“You survived on your own, too,” Ellie says. “That’s also pretty badass.”

“It’s very badass,” I agree, but resist a shudder at the bad memories from the last decade that instantly pour into my mind.

“We should get you sitting down,” Joel says, gesturing to my leg. It is starting to throb; we’ve been standing here talking about all this for a while.

I nod and start hobbling to the living room. Joel puts his arm around me to help, and to be honest I probably don’t need it, but I will take any opportunity I can get to be close to him. Our kiss from this morning is still fresh on my skin like it only just ended. I can feel his lips, his breath, his hands; a perfect ghost of him all over me.

“Ellie, why don’t you go get the horses ready, then we’ll head out for a ride? I just gotta talk to Tyler over here before we go.”

My heart leaps in my chest.

Ellie raises an eyebrow. “Who the fuck is Tyler?”

Joel gives me a smirk.

“That’s what he used to call me,” I explain with a nostalgic smile, remembering the first time he called me it. “I’m from Tyler in Texas. When we first met, all we knew about each other was we were both from Texas.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” Ellie laughs. She points her thumb towards the back door and says, “I’ll go get ready to ride. Do you wanna come with us?”

“I should probably get some rest,” I reply. “But thanks.”

Then, when Ellie is gone and out of earshot, I turn to Joel where he stands by the living room window. He’s got one thumb hooked over his belt, the light from the window shining around him, making him into a lovely silhouette. I’d ask him to come closer, to kiss me, to even just hold my hand, but I have a question first.

“So,” I say, leaning back against the sofa, “why’d you lie back there? About the cure?”

Heavily, he sighs. Steps over to me, sits down, rubs his hands over his face.

Then, he tells me.

“And…she doesn’t know,” I clarify after the whole story is out there in the open. Like a mist in the room, lingering, waiting for my reaction.

“She doesn’t know.”

I exhale. His hand is sitting on his knee now, his other running over his beard with his elbow propped on the arm of the couch.

I’m not surprised he did that for Ellie. Rushing through an entire army of Fireflies to save her life. I’m not surprised in the slightest, and I also know why he kept it a secret.

What I am, though, is so fucking in love with him that it hurts my chest; and this only makes it stronger. I reach out and take the hand on his leg, threading our fingers together.

“Do you feel that you did the right thing?” I ask, looking at his side profile.

“There ain’t a doubt in my mind,” he answers without hesitation, then turns to look at me. “I’d do it a thousand times for her.”

A smile tugs at my lips as my chest blooms with affection. I squeeze his hand, trying to come up with words that don’t just sound cheesy, that don’t sound like I’m making fun of him. “Who knew you were so soft?” I ask. Which, okay, is partially teasing. But not entirely.

He chuckles. The smile on his face is so precious to me, and I think I’ve seen it more in the past week I’ve been here than I ever did in our five years together back then. He just looks so light. Still weighed down by the weight of this world, of course, and not without his own grief or fears; but, God, he smiles like he means it. Like he’s not afraid to anymore. Like the fear of the smile ruining everything has lifted from him.

Naturally, I can’t get enough of it.

“I think you did,” he answers my question, sincere.

“Hm, I think the Joel I fell for was a little rougher around the edges,” I smirk, fully teasing now as he turns his body towards me and leans over me, brushing his hand over my cheek.

His eyes locked onto mine, he rasps, “I can still be rough around the edges. If you want me to be.”

With my hand on the back of his neck, I lean in and kiss him. Because he’s so fucking handsome, he’s here, he’s Joel.

There are still thoughts in my head that keep trying to push through; thoughts of doubt, of worry, of fear. I don’t know where this is going, where I’m going, or what I should assume about either of those things.

But with his lips moving against mine, I force the thoughts away, because I’ve waited so long for this feeling and I’m not about to ruin it as soon as it’s started.

“I gotta go,” he says against my lips, rueful. He lifts up his thumb and smoothes it over my bottom lip. “We’ll pick this up later?” He asks, hopefully flicking his eyes between both of mine.

I nod, biting my lip. “Please.”

When Joel gets back, he makes us dinner.

The three of us sit around the dining table in the living room, a candle in the middle of the table, flickering along with the fireplace across the room. It’s been two decades since I had a home-cooked meal like this; sitting at a table, inside a house, safe and warm. With people I know and trust.

Ellie and I talk about movies and music, teasing Joel for his taste in both. We talk until it’s late and Ellie is yawning while Joel tells her that maybe she should get some sleep. She protests, claiming she’s ‘not even tired’, to which Joel responds, “I’ve heard that before.”

But after a while, she gives in to the tiredness so obviously weighing at her, and stands up from the table. “Alright. I’ll see you guys in the morning. Thanks for dinner, Joel.”

“Night, Ellie,” Joel says, watching her as she walks towards the living room. “Sleep well.”

“Night,” I say with a smile. Ellie gives us both a wave, lifting her arm up high without turning back, and then she’s up the stairs and gone.

I look at Joel, and warmth settles in my chest. The light in here is warm, mostly coming from the dim lights in the living room now, along with the candlelight flickering over Joel’s face. It casts highlights and shadows and I want to reach out and touch them with my fingers, with my mouth.

Reaching across to him, I run my fingertips over his knuckles, and he smiles, twisting his hand so he can take hold of mine and squeeze.

“You want some wine?” He asks into the comfortable quiet.

“Love some,” I reply. “Can’t remember the last time I had any. Decent stuff, at least.”

He pours a deep, red wine into two glasses, and when he comes back to the table, he doesn’t sit back on his seat. Instead, he pulls away a chair and turns to me, perching on the edge of the table, his legs at the same level as my shoulders. Then he holds up his glass for me to tap mine against.

I do. “What are we toasting to?” I ask, looking up at him from under my eyelashes, drinking in more than just the wine; his heat, his hard thighs so close to my face, the way he’s looking down at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. Like we’re not living in the end of the world. Like we’re just on a regular date at his house, drinking wine after sunset.

“Think we got a lot to toast to,” he says after taking a sip. With his spare hand, he reaches out, and brushes some pieces of hair back from my face. “This, right here, for one.”

Smiling, I lean into his touch, closing my eyes. My lips press into his palm before he lays it on my cheek. “Agreed.”

His lips spread into a small, contented smile. I put my spare hand on his waist, then slide it around so it’s pressed against his back. We just drink our wine like that, sitting with a hand on each other, existing in one of the only quiet moments we’ve ever had together. It’s just us, right now. It could be that nothing else exists. Just us. Just him, leaning against the table, gazing down at me like I’m something precious he can’t take his eyes off of.

When I’ve finished the last of my wine, I put my glass down on the table, and make use of my newly freed hand to rub it up his thigh. He sighs, swallowing the last of his.

“You wanna go to bed?” I ask, letting my voice run soft and sultry.

“I’d love to,” he says, “just one thing first.”

“Hm?” I hum, pressing my forehead into his thigh, right against the denim of his jeans. His hand slides back into my hair, gently playing with it. I can feel heat rising in my belly, a need to be closer to him just thrumming through my veins.

“Don’t tell Ellie, but I’ve been working on a little somethin’ for her. The shed out back, Tommy and I have made it into her own space just for her. I thought she’d appreciate having a place to call her own.”

I look up at him and smile. “She’ll love that.”

Joel nods. He stares at me for a minute, pondering. “And…since we’re talkin’ about living arrangements…”

Dread shoots through my stomach, piercing through any of that rising arousal that his touch had ignited.

He doesn’t want me to stay.

That has to be it, right? He’s been thinking about it, too, ever since I got here. I don’t blame him; how can he ever trust me again? How can we ever—

“I was wonderin’ if you wanted to move in.”

Oh.

Well, that brought my racing thoughts to a shuddering halt.

He seems to take my silence as apprehension, because suddenly he’s nervous, trying to explain himself, “Only if you want. I know it’s…I know a lot has changed, especially today, and I really was going to offer for you to live here before we…you know.”

I swallow down the lump of emotion that has made itself at home in my throat. I’m just staring up at him, wide-eyed, probably looking like I’m on the edge of tears.

He wants me to stay.

Fucking fuck, he doesn’t just want me to stay in town; he wants me to stay with him.

“You…” I stammer. “You want me to…”

He holds up a hand like he’s trying to calm a situation, one that actually doesn’t need calming, but the look on my face probably suggests otherwise— “Now I know it’s sudden, and if you want to ask Maria for your own place, she’s already suggested some…or…unless you don’t want to stay here at all?” Doubt creeps into his features, a jolt of anxiety I so rarely see.

“No!” I manage to squeak out, tightening my grip on his jeans. It doesn’t seem to clear anything up for him; he just frowns. “I mean, no, I…I don’t want to leave,” I say, finding that I mean it. Why wouldn’t I mean it? Why the fuck would I ever want to leave this place? And now that I have Joel…

Fuck, I have Joel.

There are no words. None that are good enough, big enough, to express the overwhelming feelings that are bubbling up inside me.

Instead of talking, I stand up, lean into him, and kiss him.

He makes a pleasantly surprised noise, his hand staying on the back of my head as he lets my lips press to his, my hand going to mirror his. I open my mouth, feel him sigh when he opens his too, moving our lips together slowly but passionately. Desperately. Because it’s the only way I can think to tell him how I really feel.

Maybe in another life, I’d have said it’s too soon. That we’re rushing into things.

But we live in a world where one of us could die any day. And after everything, after all this time, I don’t want to waste any more time.

If he’ll have me—I’ll have him.

“So is that a yes?” He pulls away for a second and gives a nervous little chuckle. His thumb strokes at my cheekbone, his eyes looking down into mine, glowing in the candlelight.

I nod. “Yes, it’s a yes,” I say. The heat is back in my belly again, feeling his knee pressed up between my legs, his face so close to mine and breath blowing against my mouth. “Yes, it’s a fucking yes, Joel. God, I—” I kiss him again, because I can’t not. “I can’t believe this.”

He laughs into my mouth and kisses me quiet, bringing up his other hand to cradle the other side of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair again like they did this morning. I sigh, unable to resist, and melt at his touch. At his mouth. At him.

“Joel,” I say, breathless, “Joel, will you please take me to bed?”

He laughs again, a breathy chuckle that brushes into my mouth before trailing down my neck along with his lips, pressing closed-mouthed kisses all along my jaw. “Can you make it up the stairs?”

“For this, yes.”

When he pulls back, he’s grinning, showing his teeth and the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes. I dive in and kiss at each line, each mark of his life, everything he’s been through, all his laughs and tears and shouts and smiles—

“Joel,” I find myself whimpering against the corner of his mouth.

His hands, steady on my waist, squeeze me. “You alright?”

Tears are stinging in my eyes and nose. I try to swallow them back, press my nose into his neck. “Take me to bed,” I beg again, this time in just a breathy whisper, “Please.”

His hands are precious and gentle on the back of my head again, cradling me in his warm palms, his fingertips threaded into my hair. I’m sitting on the end of his bed and he’s bending down to kiss me, my head craning up to meet him as best I can. I’d strain to reach him forever if that’s what it took. If the only reprieve from the stretch was his hand on the back of my neck. It would be enough.

He pulls away from my lips for a second and breathes against me. “Goddamn,” he curses.

I stroke his forearms, running my fingers through the hairs there. “Yeah,” I breathe, “yeah.”

“You know how long I’ve wanted this?” He asks.

I didn’t used to. I thought he’d never want this. Want me.

But now…

I nod, and pull him down further, wanting to be closer, closer, closer. “I think I do.”

Carefully he backs me up along the bed, crawling on top of me as I shuffle up towards the pillows. I try to kiss him as we move but it ends up too clumsy and my leg kind of hurts as I’m crawling backwards, and he chuckles at my efforts, settling above me once I’m lying down.

The backs of his fingers trace down my face. He gazes down at me, his eyes glittering in the warm, dim light of his bedroom. I want to dive in, devour him, let him devour me, feel him as close as possible because I’ve wanted it for so fucking long—

But he’s so soft above me, so comforting and familiar and new all at once, and I could just as easily just stare at him like this forever, the look in his eyes, gazing like I’m something he wants. Something he needs.

“Do I have something on my face?” I tease, just a little shakily, not sure what else to say. “You’re staring.”

He shakes his head once. “Sorry. Can’t help it.”

I smile up at him, press my hand to his cheek. “Me, neither.” My other hand moves around to the back of his neck, and I dip it down below the collar of his shirt, feeling at the heat of his back, pushing it down as far as it’ll go. He stifles a moan, letting his eyes flutter closed. “Joel,” I whisper against him, pressing our foreheads together, “how many times do I have to ask you to fuck me?”

His breath hitches, catching in his throat. “You technically haven’t asked me that at all yet, darlin’,” he replies after a beat.

“Well, then, I’m asking you now,” I pull away to meet his eyes again. Lightly, I curl the hand that’s under his shirt, running my fingertips over the small of his back, digging them in just a little. “Please, Joel. Take me. I’m yours. I’m—”

He dives in before I can say anything else, opening his mouth against mine and kissing me with a new, fevered urgency. He holds himself up above me with his palms on either side of my head, and at the feeling of his tongue brushing against mine, my hips instinctively buck up to try and find some friction.

Without moving his mouth from mine, he shifts his legs, gently using his knee to push mine apart and then settling it there between them. Slowly, as he kisses me so quickly and passionately that I only just register what he’s doing, he slides his knee up and presses it against my centre.

It feels fucking incredible. I’m throbbing already, pulsing for him, desperate for more friction. Another instinct, to grind down against his thigh, pushing myself further against him as he kisses me like his life depends on it.

One of his hands moves a little so his fingertips are brushing over my temple, pushing bits of hair away from my face. I let the hand on his cheek slide back into his hair, taking a handful of it and pulling, revelling in the choked moan he lets out against my mouth. The vibration of his voice is intoxicating, and I wonder, not for the first time, how it’d feel against the place that his knee is currently pushed against.

My hand on his back scrapes again, digging my nails in probably a little too hard, but he doesn’t complain; his lips break away from mine with a loud smack, and I’m about to protest, about to pull him back in when they start to messily trail down my jaw in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. I gasp, my mouth falling open. His mouth is so warm, so wet, I can hear him breathing through it with his nose right up at my ear, can feel the heat of his thigh where it’s pressed against me—

“Joel,” I gasp out as his mouth settles at the pulse point on my neck. He starts to suck, and I can feel just enough of his teeth that I know it’s going to make a mark, the suction pulling sparks of pleasure from my neck all down my body.

He hums in approval as I put my other hand on his waist, above his shirt this time, but starting to ruck it up, pulling it from the waistband of his jeans.

“Joel, please…”

“Mm?” He trails his lips, open and hot, back up to the underside of my jaw, and waits there. “What do you need, darlin’?”

“I need…”

Pulling himself away from me, he takes a careful hold of my hands, withdrawing them from both under and over his shirt. He takes them, entwines our fingers, then presses them down against the pillow on either side of my head. “I’ll give you whatever you want,” he promises in a low, husky voice that I have literally dreamed of hearing say that for God knows how long—“just tell me what you need, darlin’, and I’ll do it.”

My mouth suddenly dry, I swallow, gasping for air even without his lips on me. He licks his own, glancing down at my mouth, hungry. “I already told you,” I say, breathless and squeezing his hands, “I need you to fuck me.”

One side of his lovely lips quirk up into a smile. He leans down, kisses me, this time soft and close-mouthed. Then he presses our foreheads together again, and his breath is hot and fast against my face. I want to lean up into him, kiss him again, feel the burn of his beard against my skin, let it mark me up. But before I can, he whispers, “I’ve wanted to hear you say that for too damn long.”

Then his hands are leaving mine, and he leans back, pulling far enough away that I can feel the loss of his body heat. He sits against my thigh, one of his still pressed just not quite hard enough to my middle, and I’m just about to pull him back down again when he takes his hands and starts to unbutton my shirt.

Oh, fuck.

The way he does it so carefully, calloused fingers working expertly on each one, just slow enough that it drives me insane. He watches his fingers, hunger growing in his eyes, licking his lips with every inch of my skin that he exposes.

Then, when all of the buttons are undone, he first meets my eyes for a quick moment with a grin, then takes hold of each side of my open shirt and flings them aside, revealing my bare stomach and bra.

“Oh, darlin’,” he exhales, gazing at that part of me like it’s the most incredible thing he’s ever seen. All I can do is lie there, watching him watch me, feeling as his hands press against my navel, slowly sliding up my ribs, to the curve of my breasts, back down again. “You’re so beautiful.”

Sudden, unexpected emotion bubbles up in my throat.

I never thought any of this would happen. Hell, I thought I was going to die not two weeks ago.

When I left Joel, I thought I’d never see him again. And I thought that, even if I did, he’d not want anything to do with me.

And yet here we are, and he’s not just here, he’s mine, touching me with such care and desire and lust and I, God, I can’t put into words how it feels to have him like this—

“Hey,” his soft voice breaks me from my tumbling thoughts. His eyes leave my torso, and I swear to God I feel the lack of their heat. He meets my gaze instead, a soft frown of concern creasing his forehead. “You alright?”

Frantic, I nod. I need him to know that I’ve never been better. I have literally never, in my life, felt like this. I reach up for him, taking hold of his face and bringing it down to mine, not quite pressing our foreheads together. “Joel,” I whisper. He lifts one of his hands from my stomach, brushes the backs of his fingers down my face. “I’ve literally never been happier.”

He smiles. A beautiful little tilt of his lips that has me feeling just as much heat between my thighs as I do with his touch—

Speaking of, I grind down on him again, and my eyes flutter closed at the sensation. I need more. I need more, but he’s still hovering over me, concerned, and I realise that he’s not just brushing his fingers over my cheeks to touch me, he’s brushing away tears.

Tears.

I’m fucking crying. We’re supposed to be having sex, and I’m fucking crying.

Humiliated, I feel my cheeks flush bright red and immediately rush to wipe away the tears. “Sorry,” I croak out, finding more tears in my throat ready to fall, “God, I’m—I’m sorry, I’m fine, I promise…”

He keeps stroking my face. For a moment he watches me, and I can see in his eyes that he’s not judging me. He still looks a little bit worried, but as he looks between each of my eyes, he asks, soft, “Are you sure?”

And I nod in an instant. “I really am,” God, I can’t believe I’m crying. I’m still crying. “It’s just…” The weight of the last decade—fuck, the last two decades, who are we kidding—feels like it’s weighing me down and lifting all at once, suddenly washing over me in a wave that I can’t find my way up from and I don’t know if I want to.

Joel nods like he understands. Leaning down, he kisses away the newest tears on my cheeks. “It’s a lot,” he says, gentle. “I know. After everything.” The hand that isn’t on my cheek moves from my ribcage, instead taking a hold of my hand again, and putting it on the pillow by my head like before. “I’m here, darlin’. Alright? I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Feeling just a little pathetic, I sniff. “I’m alright,” I promise him. My hand finds purchase on the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

He gazes down at me for another long moment, his free hand stroking at my hair. I close my eyes into the touch, focus on him, his breathing, his body over mine, protecting me. Keeping me there, because it’s the only place I want to be.

“I just love you,” I find myself whispering with my eyes still closed. At the confession, a small shot of dread shoots through my stomach in an instant, and at first, I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. But as the silence stretches on, I have to.

I open one eye first. A part of me expected him to get up and leave.

But I don’t know why. Because instead, he’s just staring down at me, a new softness on his features that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. His lips quirk into a small smile. His eyes are glistening, disbelieving. “I love you,” he breathes out. I feel the words on my skin, sinking into my bones.

Relieved, I close my eyes again. Then I feel him kiss me, soft.

“I love you,” he says again. “I always have. I always will.”

Feeling a fresh wave of tears threaten to fall, I nod and press my nose into his cheek, grasping on to the back of his head like it’s a lifeline. It kind of is. “Can you please be inside me before I embarrass myself by crying again?” I whisper into his ear, not totally unaware of the fact that I sound even more like I’m crying now. Which, I’m not. I don’t want to cry anymore. I’ve cried enough.

His chuckle is breathy and warm against the shell of my ear. “‘Course I can,” he gently nips at my earlobe, then in one smooth movement, he pushes his knee right up against my still very clothed pussy and I let out a cry. Pleasure shoots through me, and the tears subside to make way for a gasp that pulls out of my lips.

It all happens very quickly, and yet very slowly, after that.

One minute, we’re both still clothed and kissing slowly and softly. The next, I’m tugging off his shirt, he’s unhooking my bra, putting his head between my breasts and kissing the centre of my ribcage with an open mouth. I undo his belt clumsily, push his jeans down to his ankles. He kicks them off and climbs back on top of me as soon as he can, helping me out of my own jeans. It takes a bit of working around my bandage, a distant pain still throbbing away over it.

He looks up at me and raises his eyebrows. “You tell me if this starts hurting,” he says, not a suggestion.

I nod. “I will.”

He wastes no time getting back to my lips, one of his hands travelling all-too slowly down my body towards my centre. I ruck my hips up into his touch, and soon his fingers are pressing against my bare skin, right above my clit where I need him.

“Joel,” I say, “touch me. Please.”

He obliges without a word, sliding the tips of his two fingers down through my folds and towards my entrance, gathering wetness. I hear the slick of it, feel it, and he takes it up to my clit before pressing there in earnest.

“You tell me if it don’t feel good,” he murmurs against my lips. “Need this to be good for you.”

Desperate, I nod, clutching his head with both of my hands as I press my hips up into his delicious touch, the circles he’s making around my clit.

His fingers are inside me, then, thumb pressing against the precious bundle of nerves that he seems intent on pushing on.

“God, Joel, that’s just—that’s just right,” I gasp.

He smiles against my mouth and keeps going, slowly pumping two fingers in and out of me, stretching them apart a few times to get me ready. The sheer anticipation of having his cock inside me is enough to have me pulsing, getting wetter and wetter by the minute.

He readies his cock, holding it against my entrance. Looking into my eyes, he smiles, and presses the tenderest of kisses to my lips. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you…” the words fade off into a breathless whisper as he slides inside me, past my folds and right to my core, so hot and warm and wide and, God, fuck, it was so worth the wait—

I cling to him, scratch my nails down his bare back. As he starts to thrust, slow but not hesitant, he attaches his mouth to my shoulder and sucks. With one hand stroking my hair, he brings the other back to my clit, working it in time with his thrusts.

“Jesus…God, you feel so good…” he grunts against my neck.

“Joel,” I plead, “please…harder, faster…I need you…”

My words pull the loveliest of moans from his throat and it’s like he melts beneath them, beneath my breath and my hands, pushing himself further inside me so the head of his cock is reaching as high as it can go, gently pushing against my cervix. Before he starts going any faster, he pauses, panting in my ear, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Joel, I can take it…”

“Your leg…”

“I’ll tell you if it hurts. Joel, please…”

He lets out a shuddering breath.

Then, he does just what I ask him to do.

It’s not painful. But it is a lot.

His dick hits the highest point inside me he can get to, and it’s so sensitive, it feels like he’s fucking up into my belly button, thrusting so hard that it meets resistance at the top of each curve of him inside me—

His finger gets harder against my clit, too. And, fucking hell, if it wasn’t intense before, it’s fucking overwhelming now.

Not-quite-painful pleasure sparks through from deep inside me to every inch of my body.

“Darlin’,” he gasps, opening his mouth against my neck in pleasure, as his pants get more frantic and his thrusts more erratic. It feels so good, and I’m just pinned underneath him, my left knee pressed into his hip, the other leg still flat on the bed.

His thrusts are jolting me, and there’s definitely pain coming from my wound, but it’s absolutely nothing compared to the feeling of him inside me, fucking me into the mattress as I feel the sweat on his skin—“Darlin’, you feel so good, wrapped around me like this…wanted you for so long, so fuckin’ long, thought about this so many times with my hand on me—” he keeps spilling words, filthy words, into the place where my neck meets my shoulder, and I lap it all up. His voice is like sweet, husky syrup to my ears and I hold him there with his words buzzing into my skin, letting them carry me away to a place where it’s just the two of us, just his cock sliding in and out, fucking me just like I always dreamed of it, his finger still rubbing earnest circles over my clit—

It comes over me suddenly, builds up unexpectedly. “Joel! Joel, I’m gonna…”

He kisses the shell of my ear, all hot breath and wet spit, “Do it, baby, come on my cock…come for me, darlin’, I gotcha…”

And I do. Pleasure rises and rises and rises and then drops, a strangled cry finding its way out of my throat before Joel presses his hand over my mouth to swallow the sound. He moans along with me, and when he lifts his head from my neck, the look on his face keeps me riding my orgasm for just that little bit longer. Totally relaxed in pleasure, his eyes fluttering as they struggle to stay open, his mouth hanging open with spit glistening on his lips. He comes, then, inside of me, and it spills down my thighs with each push back in and out.

I stroke the back of his head as the aftershocks from my high milk his pleasure out for as long as they can. I can feel the release of his muscles, the last of his orgasm fading and leaving him flushed and hot and lovely inside me.

I pant against his cheek. He breathes against mine, fast, taking deep breaths. He’s still inside me. I don’t want him to ever not be.

So when he goes to pull out, I twist my leg at his hip so my foot presses into the base of his back, anchoring him there. “Stay,” I say, pleading, “please. Just for a minute.”

Wordless, he nods, and leaves precious little kisses all across my face and neck. Peppers them down my chest as far as he can go with the way I’ve got him pinned in place. I could keep him here forever. Inside me, on top of me, all around me. His hair is wet with sweat, beads of it dripping down from the back of his neck and onto my breasts.

Jesus.

“Joel,” I whisper. It feels like I’m only ever going to be able to say his name again. “That was…Jesus, Joel, that was good.”

Breathy, he chuckles. “Better than good,” he says. Then he pulls away, and I feel the cold nip of the air start to tickle against my skin, the wetness between my thighs getting cooler. Goosebumps raise on my skin, and Joel notices. “Sorry, darlin’, I’m gonna have to pull out now. Get us cleaned up a bit and warm.” He sounds genuinely sorry, stroking my face as if in consolation.

I sigh, but I know he’s right. Nodding, I give him one last, long kiss on his mouth. “Hurry back,” I say when he climbs off of me and heads into the bathroom.

Hearing the gentle slosh of water, I close my eyes, and feel the cool sheets beneath my skin. There’s a mess between my thighs, dripping down onto the sheet. We should probably have put a towel down. But.

I am about to tell Joel as much when he comes back in with a warm, wet washcloth, but then realise he’s brought a towel with him, too. Too little, too late.

“We made a bit of a mess,” I say, letting my head loll towards him on the pillow. He chuckles in the quiet dimness of the room, the low light flickering over his bare skin.

“Nothin’ we can’t clear up,” he replies, settling between my legs again. Carefully, he wipes at my skin with the washcloth, clearing away my own wetness and his release. I sigh, enjoying the warmth, the way he rubs absently at my knee with his spare hand. He cleans himself up next, then tosses the washcloth across the room.

“Scooch,” he says gently, pushing at my hip. “I’ll put a towel down.”

“Joel, I think you’re about a half hour too late with that,” I smirk, but do as he asks so he can lay the towel over the mattress, spreading it as far as he can.

“We can clean the sheets properly in the morning,” he announces, the grabs the comforter from the floor—I don’t even remember when it got there—and carefully brings it up over my body.

I sigh into the cool fabric and feel the mattress dip beneath Joel’s weight. He crawls into bed beside me, and soon his arms are pulling me against his chest.

I settle with my head over his ribcage, my leg hooked over his as he lies on his back. The covers are pulled right up to my neck, and I take a moment to pull the corner over the top of Joel’s chest, only just avoiding my face.

“Joel,” I say, quiet.

“Hm?” He murmurs as his hand absently rubs circles into my shoulder. His eyes are closed, his other hand propped under his head. When I look up at him, he looks more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him, blissed-out and content. It’s such a beautiful sight that I debate resisting the tiredness in my body and just staying up to watch him like this.

I lift my hand, take hold of his cheek. Turn him to face me, then lean in and kiss him. “I’ve always loved you,” I whisper against his mouth. “I need you to know that.”

His eyes crack open to look into mine. “I always loved you, too,” he strokes at my bottom lip with his thumb. “Now, come on. Let’s get some sleep, alright? Been wantin’ to hold you to sleep for a long time.”

Warmth blooms in my chest. I kiss him again, just once, and snuggle in closer before putting my head back where it was.

And, just like the invisible string that seemed to tie us together all this time, I sit comfortably in this space, letting all the tangles and the knots in my mind unravel. What’s past is past, and we’re here now.

After everything, after the good, the bad, letting this thing between us come back from the dead—

We’re here.

{❤️end❤️}

notes: ah i can't believe it's finished ❤️ thank you SO much for reading and enjoying this fic with me, all your responses have made me so happy and i'm just so glad it's brought some of you joy. i hope you enjoyed the final chapter! i'm considering maybe writing some one-shots set in this universe at some point, or some little drabbles, so keep an eye out for those :)

love u, take care of yourself! ❤️

ps: as always this is post-apocalyptic and a fanfiction but in real life don't forget to always practice safe sex babes!

taglist below

@rosymythologies @lover1307 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @pinkrose1422 @lavenderhhze @abbyhaslongshorts @trippoverrt @emilianamason

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller story #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #my fic #my fic: joel #my fic: joel smut

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snelbz · 10 months

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Better or Worse {18}

Nessian. Angst. Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

Better or Worse Masterlist

A/N: Sorry for the late post! I had it queued for pm instead of am and just noticed. We’re almost to the end of Nesta and Cassian’s journey of growth, but we hope you’ve enjoyed reading this one as much as we’ve enjoyed writing it!

Almost every counseling appointment we’ve gone to, Nesta has been right there by my side. But Gwyn asked us to meet separately this week and that shouldn’t make me as nervous as it does. I know it’s common for therapists to want to talk to each person on their own, but even at the beginning, even when we weren’t speaking, having Nesta there was a balm to me. I was able to open up and talk about my thoughts, my feelings even if I wasn’t sure how I felt about them.

Now, sitting across from Gwyn, I feel like I’m back at square one. Rather than the usual couch, I’m sitting in an armchair identical to the one she’s in.

Her notepad is resting in her lap, but she doesn’t look down at it. She doesn’t even have a pen. “How are you doing this afternoon, Cass?”

“Good,” I say, but nothing more which makes her smile.

“Nervous?” She asks, not unkindly.

I sigh. “Yeah? Which is weird, right? Because we know each other fairly well by now.”

“True, but it’s not weird, it’s actually common,” she assures me. “You’re not used to doing this alone. It’s a big step.”

There was a time when her tone would piss me off, would make me feel like she thinks she’s talking to a child, but not anymore. I know she’s genuine in everything she says.

“I guess so,” I agree, and answer her question honestly. “I am good, though. Yes, nervous, but everything has been going really, really good. Great. Nesta and I are, uh, renewing our vows.”

“Oh?” Gwyn asks and she sounds happy about it, which is a good sign. “When?”

“A month. I actually asked her when we got back from our little vacation, after we left here.” I shrug. Since we’ve been doing so well in our marriage, we haven’t been coming to see Gwyn as much. “It felt like the right thing to do. I asked; she said yes.”

“I’m happy for you,” she says, and I know she means it.

My appointment goes on like that and after a few more minutes I actually start to fully relax. I told her everything, probably oversharing at some points but I can’t help it. I feel like I just fell in love again for the very first time, although this time feels much stronger than that. Nesta and I have a bond that can’t be broken, that can never be shaken again.

After telling Gwyn goodbye, I head to Nyx’s preschool to pick him up. He’s waiting for me with his backpack on and his lunchbox in hand, and the second I pull up to the curb, he’s jumping up and down.

“Hey buddy.” I hop out of the truck and give my nephew a hug while ignoring the wandering eyes of his teacher, as usual. She’s at least seventy, I swear, and I have no clue how she hasn’t retired yet.

“Uncle Cass, we learned about bugs today!”

So begins my rundown of his day, right down to his snacks and the lunch Feyre packed for him that morning.

My phone rings as I’m putting my car in park in the garage. When I see it’s Elain, my brows pull together. I love my sister-in-law, and would do anything for her at any time. But she doesn't usually call me. I answer as I round the truck to get Nyx out of his carseat.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Cass.”

“Is everything okay?”

Her cheery laughter floats through the phone. “Everything is fine. I was seeing if Nesta was with you. I tried her cell but she didn’t answer and I wanted to get a final decision on the flowers for the ceremony.”

I’m a man of many talents. I pride myself on being knowledgeable about many things. Flowers sure as shit isn’t one of them.

Scratching at my beard, I head into the house, Nyx on my heels. “She had a meeting with Eris and the publishers this afternoon, but should be home around five if you can wait that long.”

I hear the telltale sounds of Nyx dropping his backpack. “Hi, Greg!”

“Alright, I’ll try her then. Thanks!”

We say our goodbyes and I toss my phone on the kitchen counter only to realize the kitchen has become far too quiet. When I turn around, Nyx is nowhere to be found.

Just before I can completely panic, Nyx comes back through the door, crying.

I frown. “What happened, buddy?”

“Greg,” he says, a sobbing mess. “Door…open…Greg.”

He can barely get the words out but I get the gist. With a sigh, I pick Nyx up and pat his back. “It’s okay. Greg gets out sometimes, I’ll find him.”

I set Nyx up on the couch with a juice box and a bowl of popcorn while he watches Bluey before finding myself going around the outside of the house, looking in all the bushes.

No Greg.

I call his name and all of my neighbors that don’t know me are probably wondering why I’m going around my house, yelling for a Greg, but I ignore any potential neighbor’s judgment. Every minute that passes that I can’t find him, I get worried. Nesta loves this cat like a child.

And I can’t find him.

When I finally head back inside, Nyx’s head pokes over the top of the couch. He’s still sniffling as he asks, “Did you find him?”

I hesitate for a second because I don’t want him to worry, I don’t want him to start crying again, and I definitely don’t want him telling Nesta about this. So I decide to go with a little white lie. “I did. He was having fun running around and asked to stay outside a little longer. I told him he could play outside until it gets dark.”

Thankfully, that perks him up and blessedly derails his toddler attention span. “Did you know that lightning bugs come out when it’s dark? And then their butts light up?”

For the rest of the afternoon, I’ve got one eye on Nyx and one on the window at the back deck. On multiple occasions, I run outside with the bag of treats and shake it as obnoxiously as I can.

The damn cat never comes back.

As the clock ticks closer and closer to five, I start to panic. How am I going to tell Nesta I let Greg get out? Better yet, how am I going to keep Nyx from saying something?

Before I can come up with a foolproof plan, the garage door opens and my beautiful wife comes strolling in. She gives me a smile and a kiss on the cheek before asking, “How was your appointment with Gwyn?”

“Fine,” I answer, and as soon as it’s out of my mouth I know that I’ve answered way too quickly. Her joyful demeanor falters and I hesitate, which makes her frown.

“What?” she asks, and there’s a bite to her voice which I know means I should tread carefully if I want to try and keep the peace.

“Look,” I say, and take a deep breath. I watch her eyes as they go from angry to concerned to confused. “I…there was...Nyx accidentally…Gre—”

Just as I’m about to say his name, the furry little bastard charges into the room and jumps up on the kitchen island to greet Nesta. My wife momentarily forgets about me and scratches the cat under his chin.

I stare, dumbfounded. “I…what the fuck?”

“Hmm?” Nesta asks, remembering I exist and crossing her arms. “Okay, what did you do?” “Nothing,” I say, and grab her face, bringing her mouth abruptly to mine. She’s surprised for a second, but melts into me as my lips keep moving.

“Ew!”

We pull apart to look at Nyx, who is standing in the doorway and covering his eyes. When he peeks through his fingers, he gasps. “GREG! I thought we lost you forever! I was soooooooooo scared! Uncle Cass, wasn’t I scared?”

I purse my lips and slowly bring my gaze back to Nesta’s. She’s watching me with narrowed eyes full of hellfire.

“So, we lost Greg,” I confess, quietly. Nyx doesn’t seem to notice the tension as he grabs the cat off the island and carries him into the living room. I open my mouth to give a long, pathetic story about what happened, but Nesta shakes her head and puts her fingers over my mouth.

“I don’t wanna know,” she says, and her eyes soften. “He’s here, he’s safe, do better next time.”

I blink, thinking it’s a trap and not wanting to curse it. “Yeah, okay.” Now I’m suspicious. “You’re taking this too well, it’s scaring me.”

She snorts and runs her hands down my chest and bundles my t-shirt in her hands. “I want tonight to be a good night. We’ve been a little stressed lately, planning this wedding so quickly…” She shrugs. “No more stress.”

I feel like there’s something she’s not telling me. Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve been married for a decade, but I feel like something’s off. “Nesta—”

She looks over my shoulder, into the living room at Nyx and Greg snuggling on the couch, then back to me.

“What?” I ask, and try not to let my worry creep in too far. “What happened? Are you okay? Did Eris piss you off? The fuck did that prick do now—”

“Eris didn’t do anything, for once,” she says, laughing quietly. “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve just…been thinking about something, but I thought we could wait until we’re alone tonight to talk about it.”

I hate that.

I hate when someone says we need to talk, especially my wife, then doesn’t tell me what it is we need to talk about.

“Now I’m going to spend the entire afternoon worrying about whatever it is you have to say,” I say, keeping my voice low.

“It’s nothing bad,” she whispers, and leans up on her toes to kiss me. I grab her ass and squeeze for comfort. “Just something I’ve been thinking about. A lot. Come on, let’s make dinner before Feyre gets here to pick him up.”

And that’s that. I throw together a quick meal of blackened chicken, green beans, and red potatoes, which Nyx devours as if he hasn’t eaten in weeks. More than once, Nesta has to remind him to take smaller bites, but he manages to clean his plate without choking. Nyx regales Nesta with his school day, as well, telling her all about his studies but conveniently forgetting the story he told me about the little girl on the playground who held his hand.

Nesta is in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner, while Nyx and I are on the couch watching Bluey when I hear the door from the garage open. Nyx, engrossed in whatever shenanigans Bluey and Bingo have gotten into, doesn’t notice the quiet greetings or the hushed whispers and murmuring.

But I do.

It sets me on edge, immediately thinking of whatever Nesta wants to talk about when we’re alone. It sends my brain straight into “overthink” mode and I don’t notice that Nyx has said something until he calls my name a second time.

“What was that, bud?”

“I said that daddy said I could get a puppy just like Bluey.”

“Did he now?” Feyre asks, breezing in from the kitchen.

“Mama!” Nyx is off the couch in a flash and crashing into her legs.

His backpack is already slung over her elbow and she lifts Nyx into her arms, hugging his close. “Hi, bub. Ready to go home?”

“Yes! Me and Uncle Cass lost Greg.” Feyre’s smile falters but Nyx charges on. “Don’t worry, mama, we found him.”

We say our goodbyes and promise to see them soon, and when it’s just me and Nesta alone, I can’t control myself any longer.

“So.”

She chuckles as she sits next to me on the couch and turns off Bluey. “So.”

I wait for her to say something but when she doesn’t go on, I throw my hands in the air. “Damn it, Nesta, please just—”

“I think we should look into adoption.” The words rush out of her, quietly. “I think we should adopt.”

Out of all the things I expected her to say, that wasn’t it. I’m at a loss for words.

It’s not until I notice her eyes start to line with tears that I come back, my mind catching up with me.

“You don’t want—”

“I’m just surprised,” I say, before she can worry. “I mean, adoption is…that’s a lot. That’s big.”

“I’m ready to be a mom, babe,” she says, and a tear falls as her voice breaks. “We’ve been ready for a family for so long and I’m accepting that I’m not ever going to have a baby.” I want to protest, but I can’t. “So I thought we could have a baby, or a child, through adoption.”

I’m quiet for a moment, but Nesta doesn’t push me.

Adoption had never even crossed my mind and I’m a little ashamed of myself for not considering it. Growing up in the foster system, how many years did I dream of someone finally deciding I was worth the trouble, of a family adopting me and giving me the happy home I’d always dreamed of. But Nesta wanted to be a mother and I never thought farther than giving her that dream myself, of our child growing inside of her.

Who’s to say the child we’ve been dreaming of isn’t already out there?

“Do you want to quit trying?” I ask, carefully. “To have our own?”

“Absolutely not,” she scoffs, and I can tell she’s trying not to be emotional. She knows my past more intimately than anyone else on the planet. “You think after finally having sex after months of celibacy, I’ll be able to go back?”

I swallow and huff a laugh but stay quiet for a minute, allowing my thoughts to catch up with me. My thoughts that are all over the place.

“Okay,” I say, quietly, and her tears spill over. I wipe them away, carefully. “After the wedding…we can start the process, if it’s what you truly want.”

“It is,” she says, and there is no doubt. “But is it what you want?”

“A family with you is all I have ever wanted,” I say, and it is wholly the truth.

I can’t help my own consuming emotion as she kisses me. Every day I don’t know how my marriage can get better, how I can love this woman more, but then I do. I didn’t know this love, this excitement for the future could still be so strong, so evident after ten years.

I’m so ridiculously in love with this woman that I can’t believe it. I show her as much as I lay her down on the couch and take my sweet time with every beautiful, magnificent inch of her body.

We will have our family soon enough, one way or another, and I can’t wait.

#better or worse #nessian bow #nesta x cassian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #ACOSF #nessian #snacmc collabs #snelbz x theladyofdeath collab

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fookinavocadosman · 1 year

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episode 6: good as hell {HS}

relationships are tested, rules are broken, the girls bond and more secrets are made

warnings: like a dash of smut.

word count: 2.7k

As the morning comes around we all lay in bed talking about if we think Zayn and Ava broke the rules. I defend them thinking they were able to hold back but Harry thinks differently. The room is split between if they broke the rules or not and we can only wait til later to see who was right. We all break off outside while Kate stays inside and I can tell that something is not right. I tried to talk to her but she bruised me off and I got the message that this was something she needed to figure out on her own so I left her be telling her that if she needed to talk I’d be there for her. When afternoon rolls around the girls go into the dressing room to change. Ava eventually joins us and I jump up trapping her in a hug as she laughs.

“How was it?” I ask after I let her go sitting back down at my mirror as she goes to hers.

“It was amazing.” She smiles from ear to ear and everyone looks at her smiling. “We took a bath together and talked, we drank champagne and it was absolutely magical.” I smile as I remember my night back in the suite with Harry and a soft look is on her face. She looks truly happy.

“Did you guys break any rules?” Riley asks her and Ava bites her lip looking down at her hands.

“Uhm yeah, we just kissed but that was it.” She mumbles embarrassed and I walk over to her wrapping her in a hug.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re happy.” I mumble in her ear and she lets out a soft breath tightening her arms around me.

“Thank you.” She whispers and when she pulls away relief is across her face. We all gather at the cabana at Lana’s request and she fills us in.

“Hello everyone, Zayn and Ava, you have broken the rules.” She starts and everyone sits back ready for the damage.

“Your kiss has cost the group $3000. The prize fund now stands at $53,000.” She finishes and in a way, everyone is relieved that was the only rule break. No one is angry, maybe a little upset but not angry. Kate stands up, turning our attention to her.

“Hey guys, so I have done a lot of reflecting and I think it’s time for me to go.” She announces and some of us sit back in shock while others express their shock by saying no.

“It’s what’s best for me and it was really hard for me to come to this conclusion, but I’ve learned a lot here. I’ve made some amazing friendships here but I think in order for me to continue my progression I needed to make a romantic connection but that didn’t happen.” She sits back down before continuing.

“I genuinely enjoyed my time here and this was an amazing experience so thank you for everything.” She finishes her explanation and we all send a sad smile to her. We all hug her as we say goodbye, everyone solemn that she’s leaving.

Kate truly was an amazing part of this experience. She was a good friend, she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind but was also there for you when you needed her. As we watch her leave silence falls upon us as we take it in.

Once we all settle from the shock we disperse spending the rest of the day in careful thought. Everyone seems to be more aware of how serious this retreat is and how much we’ve grown in the past couple of weeks.

As the night comes to a close we all find our way back to the bedroom, the sleeping arrangements changing once again. Zayn and Ava, Louis and Sage, Harry and I, and Riley and Niall are the ones who stayed the same. But tonight, Brooke has climbed into Luke’s bed and Michael and Kenzie share.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new day has begun and luckily for us, no one broke the rules overnight. Harry and I stay back in bed bickering about how certain things are pronounced while everyone else has left ready to start the day. I take in our alone time here as we have only a little less than a week left here and I feel myself get a bit sad.

“What are you thinking about babe?” Harry asks me when he notices I’ve gone quiet.

“Just a bit sad that we’re leaving in a week. I mean this has been an eye-opening experience for me and it just feels surreal.” I explain to him and he hums, placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Yeah, but we’ll be alright love, I intend for us to continue once we leave, we’ll work through everything.” He reassures me and I nod, lifting my head to look at him. His eyes are puffy from sleep and his curls are flopping on his head. He looks absolutely breathtaking.

We eventually climb out of bed heading our separate ways and I walk in on Brooke talking about Luke. I smile as she tells us about her alone time with him last night and I can tell she’s genuinely forming a connection with him and I’m glad she’s starting to change. The day is uneventful, all of us lounging around as we don’t have anything planned for us to do. Riley, Niall, Louis, Sage, Harry, and I are all hanging out in the cabana when Lana dings. We all look confused until she starts speaking.

“Riley, as you know this retreat helps you make meaningful connections but it also tests those connections. Your company has been requested on a date.” She stops letting the anxiety sink into all of us. Harry readjusts and Niall sits up a bit more looking at her.

“By Luke.” Lana finishes and everyone’s jaws drop.

“What the fuck.” Niall huffs under his breath and I bring my knees up to my chest wrapping my arms around them in a protective manner. Harry moves his hand to comfort me as I look at Riley’s reaction. She sits her mouth open in shock and Niall curses.

“I don’t want to go on a date with him.” Riley says to Lana and she accepts the rejection. Riley and Niall get up leaving the group as the rest of us sit in shock.

“Jesus too much has happened these last couple of days.” Louis mumbles and I laugh agreeing.

“Someone should tell Brooke.” Sage brings up and I sigh standing up.

“I saw her in the dressing room earlier with Kenzie and Ava. I’ll go talk to her.” I look back at Harry as I grab my drink, sending him a small smile as I head to the dressing room. I push open the door seeing Brooke dressed in a tan dress with Kenzie sitting next to her as they talk and I send her a soft smile.

“Hey, hun.” I start as I close the door behind me feeling genuinely bad. Here she is ready to go on a date with the guy she likes and I have to tell her that he doesn’t want her.

“So I was in the cabana with Riley, Sage, Louis, and Harry, and Lana dings telling us that someone requested to go on date with Riley and it was Luke.” I break the news to her and I instantly see her deflate.

“That’s fine.” She speaks confidently but it doesn’t hide the tears forming in her eyes.

“Riley said no to the date if that's any consolation. I’m really sorry.” I tell her and she just nods, shaking her head.

“I just wish he would’ve told me straight up that we weren’t going anywhere instead of doing this.” She says and Kenzie and I comfort her.

As the night comes to a close there's now tension between Niall, Brooke, and Luke. Niall and Brooke are absolutely fuming still by the time we all go to bed and if looks could kill Luke would be 6 feet under. The anger is suffocating but I try my best to stay out of it enjoying the rest of the night with Harry instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Groans are all I can hear as the lights invade the darkness we were in. I bring the covers over my head as I try to fall back asleep. It doesn’t work. Everyone reluctantly starts their day and the atmosphere is still off from last night. With people coming and going, and relationships being tested, everyone is drained.

Harry and I spend most of the day by the pool hanging out in the shade as we talk about everyone at the retreat. We both have no opinion on Michael and Kenzie as they have both been staying out of trouble, both of them keeping to themselves. We agree that Luke was shitty for doing that to Brooke and I feel bad for her even though it’s exactly what she did to me.

Zayn, Ava, Louis, Sage, Riley, and Niall join us for a little bit and everything is going well. I’m so genuinely happy that I’ve made friends with these people and I make a mental note to ask if we can all hang out before we go back home.

Eventually, all the girls get summoned to the workshop area and we all head there standing on the wooden platforms. The instructor is Nicole who was here for the shibari workshop and she tells us that we are doing Yoni Puja. We all stand confused as she explains what Yoni Puja is.

“Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vulva, vagina and puja means to worship. And that's what we are doing today. We are worshiping our divine femininity.” Some of us stand in shock while some laugh still slightly confused.

“Tell me some of the negative things you’ve heard about female genitalia before.” Nicole asks us and I look around not knowing what to say.

“Smells like fish.” Sage is the first to speak up and Nicole nods waiting for others to answer.

“Loose.” Kenzie says and I turn to face Nicole opening my mouth.

“Disgusting.” I answer and Nicole lets out a breath before speaking.

“I want everyone to let go of all of the things we’ve heard to have our sacred Yoni a certain way. I want you to look down on the ground.” We look down and that’s when we all notice a mirror at our feet.

“Oh fuck no.” I mumble under my breath and the feeling is somewhat mutual. Producers bring out boxes that cover our lower body and I let out a sigh not believing this is happening. Once everyone is covered Nicole tells us to drop our bottoms and I reluctantly do so.

“Now pick up your mirror and explore at your own will.” She tells us and everyone bends over picking up their mirror. I start doing what I’ve been instructed to but I’m honestly a bit weirded out. I never liked looking at it in the first place and I don’t particularly want to look now. Everyone is cracking jokes trying to ease the tension in the air.

After a bit, Nicole comes up to us asking how we felt exploring ourselves and everyone agrees that it was nice to realize that our bodies are normal the way they are and that not everyone looks the same way.

The next task involves us having a canvas in front of us and she instructs us to draw a representation of our yoni. I pick up the paintbrush and start drawing a heart. I paint it blue and I begin to write a couple of words. Once she calls time I finish the last letter and look at it smiling. We all go around showing our pictures and I’m the last to go. I flip my canvas around showing everyone my work.

“Uh, so I decided to draw a heart and write some words. I think my yoni is powerful, strong, independent, and worthy.” I speak and everyone smiles at the meaning behind it.

When the workshop is finished we all gather around and hug each other. The vibe between us has completely changed. We all feel connected once more and it’s nice that we have finally found a common ground.

At the end of the day, all the girls meet up at night by the campfire, and we all talk. Brooke tells us she set it straight with Luke that what he did was shitty but he couldn’t care less about what she had to say. Riley tried to apologize to her but Brooke told her that she wasn’t even upset at her, she was upset over the fact that Luke had lied to her and went behind her back and that she knew that Riley wasn’t going to do anything with him.

We all talk until Michael comes by stealing Kenzie away to go have a couple of drinks. We all leave them alone heading up to the cabana and spying on them. They talk and when they kiss we all express our shock not seeing that coming.

We all head to bed ready for the next day to kick off. Except I can’t fall back asleep. Everyone else is fast asleep and for some reason, I can’t slip away back into my dreams. I had a very vivid sex dream and I thought it was real but just as it was getting to the good part I was thrown out of my dream, left hot and bothered awake.

Harry holds me close to him, his chest rising and falling evenly. My brain is only focusing on how horny I am and Harry next to me isn’t helping at all. I try to slip out of his grip but he just pulls me tighter against him. I let out a long sigh, pulling his arm off of me and he wakes up slightly, seeing my state.

“What's wrong baby?” He asks, voice raspy from sleep.

“I’m so fucking horny” I mumble and he lets out a small smile rolling onto his back.

“Lay down.” He whispers, pulling the covers over us as I follow his instruction. His hand finds its way onto my lower stomach as he nuzzles his head into my neck placing a soft kiss there.

“Is this okay?” He asks me and I nod my head feeling the pressure building in my stomach. His hand makes its way down my body, dipping under my shorts and underwear and I let out a soft moan as his fingers make contact with my clit.

“What got you so worked up?” He wonders, continuing his movements on my clit and I shake my head trying to form words.

“I had a dream.” I answer him and he hums wanting me to continue. He puts more pressure on my clit, making me muffle a moan.

“We were about to have sex and then I woke up.” I whisper shakily as his fingers dip into me before going back to my clit.

“I’ve got you, baby.” He mumbles, placing a kiss on my jawline as he continues to please me. The pressure in my stomach is about ready to burst and I move my head down biting on the pillow to try and hold back my moans. His head follows mine and he whispers in my ear one sentence causing me to explode.

“Be a good girl and come for me.” My orgasm washes over me and his free hand comes up covering my mouth as his other works me through my high. Once I start coming down I’m hypersensitive and my hand flies to his wrist stopping his movements on my clit.

Once my breathing returned to normal Harry gets up holding his hand out for me to grab. We leave the bedroom and he brings me to the bathroom, hoisting me on the counter and telling me to stay there. He leaves me alone before coming back with another pair of panties in his hand and he removes my shorts and underwear before slipping the new pair on me.

I sigh, finally feeling the adrenaline crashing and I am ready to pass out. I wrap him in a hug and I sponge kisses on his neck as he wraps my legs around his waist picking me up. He walks us back to the bedroom dropping us into bed and sleep finally finds me.

tag list: @golden-hoax @nikkisimps @matildasatellite @tiaamberxx @behindmygreyeyes @panicattheuc @jessitpwk @my-munson-styles @hislcstyles @that-one-little-soybean @harringt8ns @rafaaoli @tenaciousperfectionunknown if ur name is in red ur tag doesn’t work :(

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles and y/n #harry styles au #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut

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noforkingclue · 7 months

Text

By Any Means Chapter 18 (Malcolm Bright x reader)

By Any Means tag list: @shadowluna25

Prodigal Son tag list: @queenoffandom08, @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky, @stilestotherescue

Malcolm Bridge tag list: @v0id-sp1rit, @fansformentalydistroyedmen

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

You paused when you exited your apartment building as there was clearly someone waiting for you. She turned to look at you and raised her eyebrows at you.

“So you’re Malcolm’s…” she trailed off as she looked for the right word

“I’m not Malcolm’s anything,” you said as you approached, “and you seem to have me at a disadvantage.”

“Malcolm hasn’t mentioned me?”

“If I don’t know your name how can I know if he’s mentioned you or not?”

“Ainsley, I’m his sister.”

“Ah. He might’ve mentioned you once or twice.”

You stuck your hands in your pockets as you walked towards her.

“So what do I owe this honour?”

“Malcolm hasn’t been himself lately. What happened.”

“Well you don’t beat around the bush do you?”

“I don’t see the point.”

You sighed and ran a hand over your face.

“Come on,” you jerked your head to the side, “there’s a good coffee shop nearby. You can’t buy me an overpriced coffee and pastry.”

“Why should I buy?”

“Because you want answers. Nothing in this world is free.”

Once the two of you were safely tucked into a quiet corner of the shop, and you took a sip of you peppermint tea, you knew you couldn’t escape Ainsley’s questions.

“Malcolm asked me out,” you said, “I refused.”

Ainsley seemed surprised by your answer and you smiled at her shocked expression.

“Not what you were expecting?” you asked

“From what mother was saying I had expected that you two were already together.”

“Jessica talks about me?”

“Not all the time. You’re on first name terms with my mother?”

“We’ve run into each other once or twice.”

“I thought I might find you two here.”

You stiffened at the familiar sound of Malcolm’s voice. He was standing by your table and Ainsley looked amused at your equal discomfort. Malcolm glanced at the empty seat by you side and after a moment’s hesitation sat down next to his sister. An uncomfortable silence settled over you and you looked out of the window. Ainsley took a sip of her drink and looked between the two of you.

“I’m not interrupting anything,” Malcolm said, “It’s just-“

“I should get going anyway,” you said quickly, “I have a lecture.”

“Wait,” Malcolm said quickly, “what I said-“

“Bye Ainsley, it was nice to meet you. Maybe we can meet up again sometime soon.”

You didn’t have time to hear her reply as you practically bolted out of the café. Ainsley turned to her brother and smirked and said,

“You really fucked up.”

“What’s wrong?”

You glanced over as Richard sat down next to you. He raised his eyebrows at you and you turned your attention back to the lecturer.

“Nothing.” You said

“Bullshit. You used to sit up here when you had something on your mind.”

“Maybe I just fancied a change.”

“I know you too well,” muttered Richard, “you can tell me what’s wrong. I’m your… I was your friend.”

You turned to look at him, what Malcolm said coming to the surface again. Could he really be the murderer? Someone that you used to trust so dearly?

“Malcolm asked me out.”

“I thought you two were dating already.”

“Ha ha.”

“And what did you say?”

“No.”

“No?”

“We’re too different,” you whispered as you made a few more notes in your book, “it wouldn’t have worked.”

“And here I thought you were getting gout of this life.”

“I am. I want to.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“It’s just-“

“You’re afraid?”

“Yeah.”

“Unusual.”

“This isn’t exactly usual circumstances.”

“When is it with us? You seemed happy with him.”

“I do like him but we’re too different. In the long run it just wouldn’t work.”

“Do you genuinely believe that or are you just telling yourself that? Look, after all the shit we’ve been through we deserve something good.”

“Is this you telling me that I fucked up?”

“Yeah?”

“Dick?”

“What?”

“If you were in trouble, you’d tell me right? Even after everything we’ve been through.”

“Where has this come from?”

“Or if you’ve fucked up. You’d tell me so I could tell you.”

“What do you think?”

“Yeah, thought you wouldn’t.”

#fanfiction #prodigal son #reader insert #malcolm bright #malcolm whitly #malcolm bright x reader #malcolm whitly x reader

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roseofcards90 · 1 year

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It honestly baffles me how people are dunking on Sada and Turo for being shitty parents much more than I saw when Sun and Moon first came and Lusamine was first revealed to be the villain like huh 😭 where was that energy before??? Because I feel there’s more nuance with Sada and Turo’s characters and their motivations than there were with Lusamine’s (I’m talking about her in the games of course, not the anime. I will also leave discussion for what happens in Ultra Sun and Moon for another post, so I’m only talking about the plot of the original Sun and Moon here). I’m honestly just tired of all the bashing on the Professors and them being watered down to “typical shitty parent in Pokemon” when the game clearly states and implies the exact opposite.

Lusamine is very much shown to have abandoned her kids, openly berating them and saying she has no children right in front of her daughter’s face because they “abandoned her love” and going forth with her plan to open the wormholes and summon the ultra beasts with no consideration for anything else. She doesn’t have the headspace to care about her children anymore in her plan, in huge contrast to Sada/Turo’s plan where despite how extreme it was, was at the core still centered around their son and their family. I think chalking it down to just “well they’re still both bad parents anyway” takes away some of the complexity surrounding their characters in the first place. Also I’m only bringing Lusamine as a comparison mostly because Ghetsis and Giovanni do not have any other depth to their characters in the core games lmao, and I feel Lusamine is a great example of a parent who used to care but had lost that love after her husband’s “death” and along the way of achieving her goal, while Sada and Turo are examples of the complete opposite: parents who still held onto that love and care throughout their goal, but took it so far that they hurt the one person it was for the most out of everything. It really feels like people are portraying the professors’ flaws in the completely wrong way. The problem was never “they never loved their son at all and intentionally abandoned him” it was “they became so invested and deluded in their plan they ended up neglecting the treasure it was supposed to be for.” which is exactly what distinguishes them from all the other parent antagonists we’ve seen so far. There’s a certain tragedy present in seeing a broken family that used to be so happy together that I feel was also in Sun and Moon’s story, but was muddled due to the story focusing on other aspects.

And I’m going to address this right now because I know people are going to say something because they lack reading comprehension: I am not excusing Sada and Turo’s actions in the game and how their neglect had affected Arven. Explanations are not Excuses. You can acknowledge that they loved their son while still hurting him in the end, both ideas can coexist. I merely just want to analyze wtf even happened here for the professor to go down this path. And it’s also worth nothing that we don’t have much answers in the game itself as of right now, since well—the original is dead and we’re dealing with an AI version of them for the entirety of the game. Most of this is coming from the original’s journals in the lab, but I think the game makes a clear distinction that they still loved Arven even after everything. Despite their delusion taking over them, I think they genuinely believed what they were doing was the best for them and their family despite otherwise. The whole point at the end was to highlight how they didn’t need to create that paradise. They had that loving family already, and it was too late for them to realize that Arven only needed them and nothing else.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I want the DLC to address Arven’s other parent and what exactly happened to them (or better yet, meet them in the story which would honestly be an interesting parallel where the professor of the opposite version is the one you get to know more than the original in game one). I know the in game Professor’s journal entry says they “walked out” but what does that even mean in hindsight? Keep in mind this is from the point of view of someone who’s continuously being deluded into their own idea of paradise, who most likely felt grief after their partner left them that they built an entire AI of themselves to help complete the project.

And yet they still say they’re going to build a paradise for “the three of them.” Does that mean the in game professor was also trying in some way to bring the other parent back? What if it was an accident? What if they were sent through the time machine and couldn’t go back, and the in game professor was so distraught their delusion out of sheer desperation made it so they processed it as “(s)he walked out on me, and now I’m all alone.” Of course this all a lot of speculation, but it just doesn’t make sense to me how Arven’s other parent would “leave” like that. Maybe I’m being an optimist about it, but it really does feel like it was unwillingly in some way, where the in game professor’s increasing delusion was the reason why they “left” so to speak.

And that’s not even addressing the 3rd legendary of the game and its role in all of this is. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was meant to parallel the snake/the devil in Genesis, as the sin of temptation since the professor and Area Zero have a lot of similarities with the Garden of Eden and this idea of “paradise” for their family. Where the 3rd legendary gave them the opportunity to create their paradise by giving them access to the paradox pokemon and terastalizing, and thus influenced them so much, it eventually led them down to a path of their own destruction consumed by the delusion that they could create a paradise for their family, but failed to recognize they ended up hurting the one person they treasured most in the end. If the other professor did indeed return in the DLC, maybe it would give the chance to separate themselves from their spouse and make things right with both the region and Arven. Having them be the antithesis to the other Professor’s motivation and making the choice to stay with Arven in the present would be a really cool way to wrap up the story ngl.

Anyways people who portray them as apathetic and uncaring to Arven in fan art and fics I wish you a very “play the fucking game again please”. Even their character design sheets say otherwise, especially with Sada like I cannot imagine the woman described as “not being able to hide her emotions well” would be a cold and uncaring mother like come on 💀 I played Violet for crying out loud and I’m still able to recognize that.

#and also like idk everyone seems to have shitty parents in this game?? with the exception of the mc and their mom #if we're going by what Nemona and Penny say in the area zero dialogue #I think people are just solely focusing on Arven and his parents because they tie so much into the main story #that and I think a lot of people were not expecting the twist with the professors being the real “antagonists” of the story #the professors are very interesting characters to me and it’s surprising how I haven’t seen them be analyzed as much as other characters #where they’re immediately labeled as “abusive parents with no depth” like the other parent characters in past games #when imo they share much more nuance and character than the others had before #I feel like I’m still going to get hate from this somehow 😭#I can say one thing though and it’s that the disc pokemon is very suspicious #that legendary played a role in something that’s for sure #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #professor turo #professor sada #arven pokemon #lusamine pokemon #my posts #long post

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hanni-bae44 · 18 hours

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Title: The Diner (Yangyang)

Pairing- Yangyang x fem!reader

Genre- diner au, coworkers, one sided e2l, fluff

Word Count- 4.1k

Summary- Yangyang was the new hire and he was annoyingly well liked. As you navigated a space for him at work, you realized that there was a thin line between dislike and like; perhaps you liked Yangyang all long.

You couldn’t believe it.

Your school’s trouble maker had just walked into the diner and asked for a job. Over the past few years, you’ve noticed how Yangyang rarely did his homework or always got in trouble at school, yet here he was applying for a job that required you to be reliable. You were eavesdropping on the conversation your manager was having with him when your coworker nudged you.

“Do you think our manager will hire him? He’ll bring in more tips for sure.” Hanni mused, being the optimistic person she was.

“I don’t know. He goes to my school though,” you began. “And even if he does get hired, he won’t last. He’s unreliable.” You finished punching in a customer’s order on the screen, then turned to Hanni as you both leaned against the wall to eavesdrop.

“Still, he has a nice smile. The manager seems fond of him. Tip-pooling has sucked lately too, we’ll need him.”

You scoffed when she mentioned his smile. Sure he wasn’t ugly but something about his oddly upbeat-self annoyed you. Just how could someone be so genuinely happy all the time? “Tell me about it,” you added, watching as Yangyang acted like a saint in front of the manager. Out of all the places in your town, why did he have to choose your diner to work at?

“I wonder who the manager is going to make train him. He doesn’t seem to have any experience,” Hanni pondered.

“Me too,” you sighed, before your duty called. “I’m going to go get table ten their drinks.”

After fetching the sodas for your table, your manager called your name. You dreaded the walk over to where he was and prepared yourself for the worst.

“This is Y/N. She’s one of the best servers we have, she’ll teach you everything you know,” your manager introduced, “And this is Yangyang, he’ll be a new hire starting tomorrow.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N,” Yangyang grinned as he held out his hand.

You raised a brow. Was he really going to pretend as if you were both strangers? Did he really not know who you were? You’ve known him since middle school and he probably didn’t even know your name until now. It shouldn’t bother you, but it did.

“Same,” you replied, shaking his hand. You then gave him your best smile, knowing that your manager was staring at you.

The next day, you taught the new hire how to check in and out of his shifts, take orders, and carry trays. “Put the tray back down, you have to put the heaviest plate in the middle then balance the rest around it before picking it up with both hands to put on your shoulder,” you grumbled, tired of him messing around.

“Seems like you have more muscle than me,” he joked.

You kept a straight face. “It’s your first job isn’t it?”

“Yup.”

“You know being a server isn’t an easy job right? It might look easy but you’re going to need arm strength, a good memory, and at least some decent customer service skills.”

“I know, don’t worry boss,” he grinned, which earned a scoff from you.

For the rest of the shift, you hovered over Yangyang and gave him pointers. Surprisingly, he was a quick learner. Even if he was a bit clumsy.

“How funny is it that you were in charge of training him when you don’t even like him?” Hanni joked as you were both waiting for the customers’ food to be cooked. You both watched as Yangyang talked with the customers and flashed his gummy smile. As much as you hated to admit it, you supposed Hanni was right. He did have a nice smile.

“Not funny at all,” you droned. “It’s so annoying how he’s always so upbeat. It’s like he’s never tired, he’s always so happy, you know? We’ve been going to the same school for ages now too and he acts as if I’m a stranger.”

“That’s just his personality. And maybe he just never noticed you,” she shrugged. “You go to a big school.”

“I know, that’s why I’m annoyed.”

“Come on, you’re being unreasonable. He’s nice and easy to get along with. Why don’t you get to know him? You’re both going to be working together after all, might as well get along.”

You knew Hanni was right but you still couldn’t get yourself to accept the fact. “Whatever, I still don’t like him,” you huffed, folding your arms.

“You must be tired from working so hard,” the voice of the new hire mocked as he walked towards you. He was now leaning against the wall and it was obvious he was up for a conversation.

You scoffed, not even bothering to glance at him. Instead, you fixated on the front door of the diner.

“I was just kidding, lighten up,” he nudged your elbow.

“I know.”

“So how did you come to work here?”

“I needed money,” you said as if anyone wanted to work for fun.

He nodded. “Same. My parents cut me off after I filled my teacher’s room with pictures of him that I printed from his Instagram. Isn’t that genius? I got in-school suspension for it though and now I’m here,” he explained, seemingly never running out of things to talk about.

“Wow, you’re a troublemaker aren't you?” you asked sarcastically, pretending as if you didn’t already know of his prank that made the school newspaper.

“I guess,” he chortled. “So how was your day?”

“It was fine.”

“My day was fine too,” he began. He then started to go on about his day at school and how boring suspension was.

You nodded along and listened as Yangyang talked, admiring how likable he was. You supposed this was what Hanni was referring to when she said he was easy to get along with. You really had no excuse not to like him but you disliked him anyway.

“Hey,” Yangyang greeted you, after noticing how you ignored his presence. He had just finished clocking in and was getting ready for his shift when you walked into the room.

“Hi,” you replied. Sometimes you wondered why he still talked to you even though you were being so standoffish to him.

“So what school do you go to? You never told me,” the boy began, making small talk.

“Does it matter?” you deadpanned, rummaging through your bag for your name tag and apron.

“Yes? I mean, is it that invasive to ask? We’re the same age after all, I’m just curious.”

You sighed. “Right.”

“You know what? Why are you even so cold to me? At first I thought maybe this was just your personality, but then I noticed how you’re friendly with everyone else except me. Did I do something wrong to you?” the boy asked, having had enough of your attitude.

“Yes actually,” you turned. “Do you really not recognize me? I’ve been going to the same school as you for ages and I’ve even been in the same classes as you.”

“No, I haven't noticed you at school, but is that really something to hold a grudge over?”

“I do not have a grudge.”

“Seems like a grudge to me.” Yangyang folded his arms. He couldn’t believe how petty you could be.

“Whatever,” you sighed, before going out to the front of the diner to avoid him. This conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere anyway. Not with how defensive you were. And definitely not with how you knew Yangyang was right.

“Do you think Y/N hates me?” Yangyang asked as Hanni stood beside him. The diner rush had just passed and the two had some time to waste before the manager would come by to make them wipe windows or something to make them useful.

“Hate is a strong word,” Hanni treaded carefully. “Dislike? Maybe.”

“Did she ever tell you anything about me? I’ve only ever been nice to her yet she’s so… difficult.”

“She’s just like that. Took her a while to open up to me too,” Hanni shrugged. “But just between you and me,” she whispered lowly, “I think she likes you.”

Yangyang gasped dramatically. “You think?” The boy started to grin. No wonder why you were so indifferent towards him. Everything was starting to add up and he felt a smirk creep up on his lips. It was going to be so much fun to mess with you even more now.

“Yeah, I always catch her staring at you, even if it's just a glare. The line between dislike and like is thin,” she explained.

“Interesting,” Yangyang noted. As Hanni continued to elaborate on how sometimes dislike is just masked as like, all he could think about was the fact that you liked him. No wonder why you were so cold to him, he thought. Maybe being cold was just your defense mechanism, it made sense.

Yangyang kept an eye on you as he watched you talk to a family of customers with a smile on your face. The second you turned away from them, your smile faded and you returned back to your regular personality. If he could give anyone the employee of the month award, he would give it to you. You were a master at kissing people’s asses and giving fake smiles. He was oddly impressed.

“Wow, I didn’t know you could smile like that,” he said sarcastically as you passed by him.

“Oh, shut up, you’d do it too. That family tips a lot.”

“You’re amazing,” he clapped his hands together, impressed by your act. “If only you smiled like that more often. What a shame,” he said casually.

You raised a brow. Was that a compliment? You opened your mouth to say something but he walked away before you got the chance.

Hours slipped by and you were on closing shift, cleaning up and organizing stuff for the people in the morning. You had just finished rolling silverware and you were now cleaning up your section of tables. After clocking out, you were about to head out when you saw Yangyang who was struggling to mop.

You checked back at the clock and it was getting late for a weekday. You were one step out the door, but you couldn’t get yourself to leave him to struggle. He normally had a different side job for the closing shift but today he had switched and seemed so clueless.

“Do you really not know how to mop?” you asked genuinely, noticing how he was holding the mop in such an awkward way.

He sighed before plastering on an amusing face. You could tell he was tired but he was still joking, his positive personality never altering. “Are you just going to pick on me? I was a new hire not too long ago, you know. This is mean.” He pouted.

“You’re really going to need to be more quick if you want to get home on time. The head server’s going to be on your tail sooner or later,” you droned as you put your bag down. You then showed him how to mop properly and even taught him a trick back when you were on mop duty.

“You’re smart,” he commented as he followed the way you taught him.

“Yeah, I know.”

Yangyang then smiled tenderly, before placing the mop to the side. Now was a good time to bring up the conversation the other day, he thought. He just wanted the whole misunderstanding thing to be over with. He just wanted to be friends. “I noticed that you’re smart at school too, you know?” he began. “That day when you went off on me when I didn’t remember you. Anyway, I thought about it some more and realized you were the girl that always sat in the back of the class with the chucky glasses. You never wear them anymore, that’s why I didn’t recognize you at first. And while I don’t get why it’s such a big deal, I’m sorry that I didn’t recognize you.”

You bit down on your lip, feeling embarrassed. “I did not go off on you,” you glared, even though you were fully aware of how you overreacted. It wasn’t like you were pissed at him or anything, you just didn’t understand how he could be so cheerful and extroverted all the time. So perhaps you projected your jealousy, you weren’t proud of it, but what could you do?

“You did so go off.” He noticed your scowl and felt a smirk grow at his lips. “I kind of like it though. I figured you never disliked me much anyways, you’re always so snappy around me.”

You opened your mouth in disbelief and gently slapped his arm. “I do not like you.”

“Yeah yeah, sure.”

“Get that thought out of your head, I do not like you. Don’t misunderstand this either,” you signaled to you and him, before gathering your bag. “I’m just helping you close your shift because you’ll get scolded if you close too late. This means nothing.” And just like that, you left, feeling heat rush up to your cheeks. He just loved getting into your head, you did not like him. Just the thought of it alone was mortifying.

“Do you believe in fate?” Hanni asked as she got back from cleaning one of her tables.

Here she went again, you thought. “Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you believe in the invisible string theory?” she asked further.

“No, but let me guess, something about soulmates?” you sighed, knowing about Hanni’s obsession with all things spiritual, the universe, and zodiac signs.

“You got that right,” she beamed, “it’s the belief that people who are destined to be with each other are connected by an invisible red string and will always find their way back to each other regardless of time and circumstance. Like you could’ve been around your soulmate countless times and never knew… It’s so romantic don’t you think?”

“Okay,” you said, remaining skeptical. “And are you alluding to something or is this you just talking?”

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” she sighed, “Just something to think about. There’s a thin line between like and dislike, you know.” She gave you a mischievous wink before going back to work.

You knew what she was doing. Your attention drifted to the boy who had been living in your head rent free. Yangyang was currently talking to some regulars and excelling at his job. He always had such good energy around him that made people gravitate towards him. And unfortunately, that included you.

“You look dead inside,” Yangyang teased as he approached you while holding some take backs.

Scratch that, his energy made you repel.

“Gee, thanks,” you narrowed your eyes. The one day you didn’t wear makeup, you thought. You supposed your eye bags were prominent but you weren’t too worried about it. At least until he pointed it out.

“Oh cheer up, it was a compliment,” he winked before walking away, earning a scoff from you.

The next day, you arrived to work at the same time as Yangyang. Noticing how you were less than pleased to see him, he chortled. “Well hi to you too.”

“Hi,” you sighed.

“Want a candy?” he asked, reaching into his pocket for a butterscotch he took from the front of the diner.

“No thanks. And you probably shouldn’t be taking those since it’s meant for the customers.”

Yangyang shrugged then ate the candy himself. “Guess what?” the boy asked while waiting for you to clock in first.

“What?” You decided to entertain him as you got the apron around your waist.

“I got lunch detention again for two weeks. Ask why.”

“Why?”

“Because I plastic wrapped everything in my teacher’s classroom. It was so boring in detention too that I superglued the teacher’s staple to the desk when she wasn't looking. It was hilarious, you should’ve seen it.”

“Did you get detention for the staple too?”

“Nope. But I almost did. She had no proof so I was let go.”

“Why do you even pull off so many pranks? I get that it’s senior year but are you not afraid of getting suspended?”

“No. It’s not like I’m violating any rules or hurting anyone, I’m just merely causing an inconvenience, that’s all.”

“I guess that’s true. But then why did you get in-school suspension for filling your teacher’s classroom with pictures from his Instagram?”

“Apparently it was an invasion of privacy or something,” the boy shrugged. “It’s whatever, my father will just appeal to get it off my record anyway so I’m not worried about it.”

“You father can do that?”

“Yeah, he’s the superintendent of our school’s district.”

Everything started to click. “No wonder why you’re always causing trouble, it’s not like you’ll get severly punished for it anyways.”

“See? You get it.” Yangyang beamed, “Can you help me put on my apron now?”

“Why? You’ve done it so well yourself the past few weeks.”

“I just need help. Please? My arms have been cramping all day and I can’t reach back.”

You supposed this diner job finally got to him. Maybe his energetic spirit was still there but his physical energy finally gave in. You sighed. “Fine, but you owe me.” You began to help him tie the strings around his waist, while complaining and grumbling.

You were about to step away when Yangyang turned to you, grabbed your hand and leaned in towards your ear. “Thank you,” he said softly. You could feel his breath against you and his body was so close. You didn't even get a chance to process what had just happened when Hanni bursted through the door, causing you to jump. She didn’t say anything but based off how she was biting down her smile, you could tell she was going to tease you about it later.

For the next few weeks, Yangyang fell into a routine of asking you to tie his apron, giving you random candies in his bag, and always doing something that involved him slightly touching your hand or waist.

You knew something was up but didn’t know how to bring it up to him. What if he chalked it all up to being friendly and accused you of having feelings for him again? You couldn’t have him think that, even if it were starting to become true.

It was after the weekend lunch rush when you finally got some time to relax. You were leaning against the wall behind the counter when Yangyang walked by and joined you.

“Can I ask you a question?” he began softly. He fiddled with his fingers and for once, he didn’t seem like his usual playful self.

“Sure.”

“Do you still hate me?”

There was a stretch of silence that followed and you didn’t exactly know what to say. “I never hated you,” you began. “I just didn’t really like you when you started working here. Nothing personal.”

“How is it not personal? You literally only disliked me.” He said it lightly but something about his tone was serious. “Was it actually because I forgot who you were at school?”

Begrudgingly, you spoke. “Part of it. Looking back it was petty of me, I know. I don’t even know why I acted like that.”

“I get it,” Yangyang tenderly smiled. “You were intimidated by me. I heard you were the best server there was and when I came in, you were scared I was going to take your title.”

You scoffed. “Wow, it’s amazing how full of yourself you are.”

“You love it,” Yangyang beamed, liking how fun it was to see you annoyed.

“I hate it,” you scowled. But even your scowl was betraying you as it leaned more towards a smile.

“Hate me all you want, you know you don’t,” he smirked.

You bit down a smile. You knew that he was right.

“Hey,” Yangyang said as he placed a hand on your waist, the other hand grabbing a notepad near you. He had been doing that alot lately and while you never hated it, you definitely didn’t love it. It was already hard enough to suppress your feelings but then he intentionally went and did things like this that gave you butterflies. “So I was thinking. Can we talk after work? I need to tell you something important.”

“Can’t you tell me now?”

He pretended to think about it then nodded no with a bright smile. “No. I’ll tell you later.”

You rolled your eyes. What a dramatic guy.

Hours later and your shift was finally over. You clocked out first then waited for Yangyang outside the diner. Just what did he have to say that was so important that it had to wait until after work? You were stressing about it during the whole shift even if you didn’t show it.

“Hey,” he greeted you as he got out of the diner. “It’s cold out here. Should we talk in my car?”

“I guess,” you said and followed him out to his car, getting in the passenger seat.

“So what did you want to talk about?”

“I wanted to ask if you were interested in going to the arcade with me tomorrow since we have no school?”

“For what?”

“To hangout.”

“Just the two of us?” you asked.

“Yes. Is that okay?”

“As friends?”

“As a date.” He had no expression on his face and for once it was hard to read him.

“You’re serious?”

“Serious,” the boy sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’re really going to make me spell it out for you aren’t you?”

“So you like me?”

“I guess you could say that.” Yangyang shrugged, trying to act cool.

You chortled. “Then sure I’ll go on a date with you, as long as you pick me up, buy me food, and win me a stuffed animal.”

He rubbed at his nape. “Of course, you will be driven and fed. No promises on the stuffed animal though. I’m not good at those rigged games.”

You pretended to reconsider when you saw how nervous he looked, wanting to have some fun. He was adorable like this beside you. “Deal then.” You smiled. “See you tomorrow on our date.”

When you went back to work on Monday, the shift went as usual. Except things with Yangyang did change. The date had gone well and although he didn’t win you a stuffed animal, he did win you some rubber ducks at a claw machine. In all honesty, you didn’t even care much for the stuffed animals. You only wanted something to act as a souvenir for your first date with him and the rubber ducks were perfect. You had a lot of fun with him that night and he even walked you to class today at school. You couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face whenever you thought of Yangyang now. Why did you even dislike him so much in the first place?

It was closing time now and you were rolling your silverware when Hanni joined you with a grin, nudging your arm. “You’re looking happier than usual. I see the date went well.”

“How did you know I was on a date?”

“Yangyang told me. Plus I saw how you looked at him today, it’s different than before. He’s been planning to ask you out for a while, you know? But I told him to take it slow knowing how you are.”

“And how exactly am I?” You raised a brow.

“You take a while to warm up to people,” Hanni glared as if it wasn’t obvious. “ Anyway, I thought we were friends! Why didn’t tell me anything about his confession!” she sulked. “How was it? Did he confess in the diner or at his house? Tell me everything!”

“He confessed to me in his car after work on Friday,” you sighed, knowing how Hanni wouldn’t leave you alone until you told her the details. “And before you ask, we only talked in his car because it was cold outside, I left right after he asked me out.”

“Did you guys kiss on the date?” she asked bluntly.

“No!” Your hand flew to your mouth when you realized you were talking a bit too loud. You scanned your section, hoping no one overheard. The last thing you needed was for your date with Yangyang to make the gossip with your coworkers this week.

“But you wanted to?”

“Maybe,” you mumbled.

Hanni squealed. “I knew it! And all this time you claimed to not like him. I knew there was something more. You are so in love with him.”

“Hold up, it’s only been one date. I like him but we aren’t there yet,” you interjected while trying to roll the last of your silverware in peace. Hanni couldn’t stop beaming and you just knew that you were never going to hear the end of how she was right. And for some odd reason, you were fine with that.

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