#and i mean she’s obviously a lesbian

[manichewitz]

i didnt become transmasc because the woke agenda got to me i became transmasc bc i read dear dumb diary as a kid

#am i crazy to say jamie of dear dumb diary fame is kind of a transmasc icon #in the way that all grubby weird girls in fiction are transmasc icons #am i making any sense #and i mean she’s obviously a lesbian #but anyways #jim benton #dear dumb diary #books #transmasc #ftm #trans #lgbtq #queer #alex talks #.txt #queer tag #diary of a wimpy kid #dork diaries

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again? #and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

[radsplain]

people hate lesbians. PEOPLE HATE LESBIANS!!!

#i hate hate hate hate HATE #and i don't buy that all of these ppl are only upset bc goldstar lesbians 'brag' about never having slept with a man #(they're probably not even 'bragging' and are just being projected onto) #but i genuinely think ppl are uncomfortable at the prospect of a lesbian knowing she's a lesbian from a young age #and choosing to never sleep with a man #this is obviously not to say 'late bloomer lesbians' aren't 'valid' or whatever #but the reality is most of these girlies calling themselves lesbians... are not #ESPECIALLY when i see shit going around like #'well the lesbian masterdoc said that if i'm only attracted to male CELEBRITIES it doesn't count because they're unattainable 😌' #like bestie if anything doesn't that mean you AREN'T a lesbian? #it's common for OSA women to 'let' themselves be more openly attracted to men they'll never meet irl #not being instantly attracted to men you see walking around irl is very common for OSA ppl because most know what men are like lmao #anyways tangent but goldstar lesbians get behind me #lesbian #lesbophobia #radsplain.txt

[nychthemeron-rants]

Controversial take, but I can see Marcille being bi

#like shes clearly in love with falin #but I can see her being into elvish men in particular #like she has a crush on that dude from her books #ik that doesn't mean she likes actual men #but i also dont see anything that to suggest she couldn't also be into men #obviously nothing wrong with seeing her as a lesbian #but I also dont see anything wrong with seeing her as bi #personally I see her as bi with a very strong preference for women #like basically homoflexible #but I may just be projecting #marcille donato #marcille dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon marcille #marcille dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi

[florallylly]

sorry queen but a cheater is a cheater is a cheater and that's not a label i easily let go of

#obviously extenuating circumstances #but i don't mean i was traumatized and repressing my feelings blah blah staying with the safe choice #so u were an asshole. #so u obviously don't care enough about the person ur dating to stop for a second and actually think about the consequences of ur actions #and the fact that she didn't even acknowledge what she did #and just happily ended up with her man and her ex APOLOGIZED? #pick up ur head king ur crown is falling #and yes this is a major reason why i refuse to even support ronance #like it's my personal opinion and i'm not stopping people from shipping who they like #but i also want to get my thoughts out there scream into the void or whatever #as a lesbian from a small town i'll tell u i would certainly not date a girl who cheated on my best friend #so don't pull that argument on me #it just feels evil to me #like can't steve have ONE thing like ONE person in his corner #why make him constantly apologize and have to give way when he's done like. nothing wrong #first of all he was reclaiming queer duh #and he was right to be pissed #i get that it's two attractive girls and one is canonically gay #but ur reaching

[iamchickenhearmesquawk]

Saw a few people saying they think Haley seems the most “straight coded” out of all of the bachelorettes which is actually crazy to me.

#do people not know that feminine wlw exist? #Haley is so comphet sapphic to me #like mean lesbian vibes #one of their reasons is how she’s paired with Alex but like he canonically has the better story when your a man so idk bestie #they also said they think abigail is the most queer coded out of the girls and I disagree #but don’t think to hard I’m just biased cause I’m not a fan of Abby #Abby isn’t straight either like obviously none of them are but idk also her canonical pairing is with Sebastian soooo #double standard #please don’t kill me #stardew valley #stardew haley

[nyxi-pixie]

mentioned this in my mike never showing interest in women essay but

el literally has more moments where she calls women attractive than mike does💀 CANONICALLY. as far as i remember she calls both nancy and billys mum pretty (im p sure she does it one more time but i dont rlly remember so i might be lying to u here)

whereas mike. literally. only ever calls el pretty(which he hasnt done in over 2 seasons now. idk if he does it in s2 or not but im 90% sure he doesnt in s3 or 4). like. he never acknowledges any other woman being attractive. not fictional characters. not celebrities. not past crushes. nothing. BUT he refers to el as superman. el who hes dating. implying he wants to date superman????? girlie what????

#theyre both gay #elmike are literally mlm wlw solidarity #elmax #byler #its just. megaminds valentines are like omg🥰🥰 my otp<3<3 #and said otp is el calling every woman she ever sees pretty like if she doesnt inform everyone that women are hot she will literally DIE #and mike putting his entire wheelussy into never showing any interest in women. #like literally if el never showed up in s1 looking enough like will that hop was out trying to find her bc she thought it was will #then mike wld literally be so obviously a fruit salad #i mean he is anyway #but hes got this lesbian w him to pretend hes not so idk whatever works for him ig

[halalgirlmeg]

I'm very weary of narratives and dynamics that paint people of color as like bullies, or intolerant/bigoted, or anything of the sort against white characters cause it's not that we're infallible either within specific communities or as a collective but like...idk like I feel like we're usually in these roles more often than not (its ESP Black women and girls, and Dark skin women and girls even moreso) like, esp when shows tout themselves as progressive cause knowing how Fandoms roll esp in regards to bleeding into actors off screen I just know there are people like going the hell in, because even when they're not bad people at all or just like a fleshed out human beings let them do one thing wrong, or do something fans don't like, people never shut the fuck up about it (look at Meredith and Amelia from Grey's vs Maggie and Bailey, esp in like the second half of the Grey's run) meanwhile white characters can never do anything wrong ever even when they're very much in the wrong which hmmm does that not also sound like real life?

#tbh this is about a lot of shows but I keep seeing clips of that show heartbreak high #and it's this lesbian couple I think and one is white and autistic and the other one is Asian #and I always see clips of the asian girl being very like abelist and mean and people talking about her #which she seems to always be ragging on her gf one way or another which obviously no one should be doing that #but again there's always an implication that we as woc are always the aggressor or mean #and it's like why did you make that choice #of you've actually seen it tell me if I'm wrong #but it's like I kind of can't unsee this dynamic it happens a lot in television and film #it's like when people wanna do this Black people vs LGBT ppl very much ignoring all the people with both identities #but also acting as if Black people are just so intolerant that we don't know any better or could even be supportive if not a part of #these groups #I'm sure this applies to other groups too I'm just speaking on my own experiences at this second #idk if I'm making sense it's like 3 am #random

[yourfavisanmspeclesbian]

emily gwen may hate mspec lesbians and insist that we never use her flag becasue we're "not lesbians" but whether you use an alternative lesbian flag (because... who could blame you) or use hers out of spite, this pride i want to remind all mspec lesbians that we ARE lesbians. no matter what the fuck anyone else says. we know ourselves better than the gender cops, we understand our complex identities, we are the only ones who get to label it, and what labels to choose. fuck anyone who says otherwise.

if the flag is for all lesbians, then those of us who like it are going to use it. we count. we are lesbians.

#mod ash #and do you know what? #there is a reason i make pink-orange lesbian keychains. i am a poor trans lesbian. #a bi lesbian? yes (also asexual! and i don't think i owe her forgiveness for the aphobia) #but if even 1 person tries to guilt trip me about making money off her design i don't fucking care #thanks mod jay for reminding me to log on and go off about this a little #i mean you all know pride flags are not sacred right? gilbert baker had pseudonationalist goals in making the rainbow flag #obviously doesn't make the rainbow flag evil or whatever just like... #flags are not sacred and if they all disappeared tomorrow we'd still be queer #like sorry that she's struggling but i am also struggling and starving

[lovecatsys]

I wish certain X-Characters could just casually kiss or date ppl of same gender, or just casually be confirmed as queer, without it having to be a big thing and without them getting tokenized or whatever.

#i guess this is sort of whats happened with betsy and rachel but i don't like betsy and also i don't like the fact that everyone is referrin #g to rachel is bi now when she's so obviously a lesbian #still. #like this isn't how i feel about all queer characters i guess? #i want Laura to come out as a lesbian and have it be a big deal #but also #being a mutant should just automatically make people a little bit more queer #idk it depends on the character #i mean obviously i don't want ANYONE to get tokenized #but for some people i do want their coming out to be a big deal and for others... not so much #x men #does this make sense?

[bamboozled-distress]

why is there so much hate on poppy 😭 god forbid a woman do anything

#poppy is literally my favourite character i might have an unhealthy crush on her #AND I GO ON TIKTOK AND WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE HER GUYS #‘she ruined the songs’ #‘branch deserves better’ #‘the her and viva subplot in trolls shouldve been erased’ #‘poppy never learns the lesson she’s just so annoying to branch’ #‘poppy gets on my nerves so bad hope she dies in the next movie’ #WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS #‘i pretend trolls world tour doesn’t exist bc it doesn’t go with the trollsverse at all it’s the worst trolls movie ever’ #WHY ARE YOU HATING ON THE LESBIAN TROLLS MOCIE #POPPYS CHARACTER DEVELOPMEMT IS SO COMPLEX SND SO INTRESTING SHES LOVABLE AND WITH HOW SHE WAS RAISED OBVIOUSLY SHE WOUKD HAVE A HARD TIME #COMPREHENDING THE ABILITY TO HELP IN OTHER WAYS!!!!! THE WAY THAT BEING QUEEN HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND HER DEVEKOPEMT OF BEING A GOOD QUEEN #IS LITETALLY THE BEST THING EVER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU #plus why would you want to get rid of the poppy lore #like king peppy gets more fucking terrible in each movie you can’t look me in the eye and say you weren’t excited to see how badly he could #fuck up now #he’s powering himself up every mocie to become the ultimate villain in the last trolls movie guys #trust me. im right #i love poppy so much why is everyone being so mean to her #that’s very lesbophobic actuallg #trolls #poppy #laz.exe

[nouveauxamoris]

the fact that the only way i was able to wrap my head around the timeline origins of beast was because of madoka magica. absolutely ridiculous.

#for context #i realized that the timeline split when oda died #meaning that the dazai in beast IS a fragment of canon dazai #beast dazai created the beast timeline and possibly more out of grief and a desire to save his friend #much like how homura kept reversing the timelines and creating more to find one where she could save madoka #its like that but w/o the lesbian subtext obviously #very platonic subtext here #but do you understand what i mean #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs beast #beast bsd #bsd beast #dazai beast #odasaku beast

[jasontoddssuper]

Percabeckys:Percabeth is queer-coded!!

Me:Yeah,it's called a lavender marriage

🚫Luke apologists and Percy x gods shippers dni🚫

#for those of y'all that don't know lavender marriage is an lgbt term that means a lesbian and a gay man pretending to be dating eachother #also i have no clue how they say this shit unironically😭percy is obviously bigender and genderfluid and annabeth is a big ass lesbian #both are so obvious???ain't no way percy's cis and the only guys annabeth has ever shown interest in are her older brother figure and- #-her male best friend that everyone has kept insisting she's in love with since she was 12.how do people think she's into dudes💀 #so anyway i'm very queer and i hate percabeth very much reblog if you are too #percy jackson #perseo jackson #persephone jackson #annabeth chase #lesbiannabeth #anti percabeth #rr crit #pjo #hoo #toa #💌 #q word #black percy #latino percy #she's also autistic and has mdd anxiety and b///pd #letters from summer

[gregmarriage]

x files 1x08 ‘ice’ was so fucking funny for having mulder make a joke about the size of his dick in front of two other men, and scully touch a woman’s chest as part of a medical exam, then immediately share a lesbian look with her, that has nothing to do with said medical exam

#they both give off intense gay vibes i’m always saying this #even when they’re in a relationship together they’re gay hope that helps <3 #they’re so bi4bi coded #also lesbians #also trans #they’re every letter <3 #what the absolute fuck did they put in these two characters in 1993 they’re like crack fr fr #they’re one of those ‘straight’ pairings that were made for gay people except it was a accident imaooooo #anyways i’ve been in love with scully since i was a child and i’ve even more in love with her now #i love her and her fuckass bob <3 #mulder my best friend mulder #girlboy supreme #the fucking thing he says in the jersey devil ep where he’s like ‘millions of years of evolution and she’s the same as you or me’ #i’m paraphrasing obviously imao #and i know hes supposed to mean the jersey devil girl isn’t different from them because she’s still a person etc #but it also just makes it sound like mulder is calling himself a girl #also his whole thing with jerry in 1x07 #‘we worked together.’ ‘worked together? we were partners’ cue extremely awkward mulder face #just the way he is with jerry the entire time and seems to go beyond being ex partners in the regular sense #something something do you think they explored each other’s bodies #and in true bury your gays fashion jerry dies in the same episode #IMAOOOO ANYWAYSSSSSS #i love you goofy 90’s alien show <3 #gwen rambles #gwenposting #gwen watches stuff #(gay se)x files posting

[aeide-thea]

like i guess re pronouns i think also like. many of us (trans/gnc/~gender-diverse~ people) are going to feel differently from one another and that diversity of thought is both inevitable and important

but there is a way in which, as with the question of whether you can group nonbinary people into 'people functionally includable in lesbian attraction' and 'people functionally includable in gay male attraction,' there's this process where like. there's an attempt to expand beyond the traditional framing and create more space for people, and then when that attempt runs up against cissexism and gets gummed up in some of the ways that article describes, you get people going, 'you know what, actually the really queer thing is to stop trying to expand mainstream culture into something that can accommodate queerness and just exist in a totally unspoken way,' and like. it's not that i don't get where that reaction is coming from, or that i totally disagree with it—as my one transfem ex said, the best days are the ones where you don't have to actively make a case for, or even really think about, your own gender!—but like. funny how that approach in certain ways ends up looking (and more to the point feeling) pretty indistinguishable from just. subsiding right back into the underbelly of the cistem…

#like personally i would in fact feel disrespected if a woman who was attracted to me‚ and not‚ like‚ in passing but in a serious ongoing way #nonetheless continued to be really actively vocally adamant that she was totally uncomplicatedly a lesbian/wlw #like obviously it would depend a little bit on what she meant by 'lesbian' bc there's potentially a lot of stretchiness in that category #that includes a lot of gender variance #but like. yeah actually i DO need you to pick up what i'm trying to put down‚ and take it seriously‚ and work out what that means for #the range of your attraction and how you're going to describe it #and the pressure in certain circles (that don't‚ i think‚ include anyone reading this) for me to just‚ like‚ Be Chill about that #and accept being functionally gendered as Basically a Woman #doesn't in fact feel different to me from the way cis culture wants me to accept that! #anyway yes this DOES feel like discourse necromancy but in a lot of ways so did the article that sparked it so. shrug emoji #language #identity #theory

[isuara-ez]

A very certain brand of CR fan can’t seem to get it through their heads that Ashton is not a man.

Ashton is non binary.

I see y’all’s posts trying to label Ashton as a man to score points in unimportant fandom discourse, or shipping drama.

#I kid you not #saw someone say Laudna couldn’t be attracted to Ashton because She’s a lesbian and he’s a gay man #which is insane on multiple levels #and obviously it was supposed to be a joke because we know the sexuality of either character just yet #but it was a transphobic joke #And of course people saying Ashton mansplained to Laudna #and a joke someone made about how being mean to Ashton was reverse sexism #have you never met a non binary person before #But Ashton is masc and uses he as a pronouns you say #he could use exclusively he/him pronouns and still be non binary #because say it with me #non binary people don’t owe you Androgeny #cr discourse #critical role discourse