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#and i didn't get almost any positive results if any!
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(Translation) Emma Turns Into a Bunny Again [His POV Story]
Gilbert's new (120k🙃) bonus-story for the My Honey's a Bunny event. The actual title of the story is "How to Properly Keep a Baby Rabbit."
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Contains some sexual content. MDNI.
I was spending my days in contentment after bringing the little rabbit home from Rhodolite when this happened.
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Gilbert: ......
(A rabbit...)
I'd fallen ill last night and decided to sleep in a separate room from Emma so she wouldn't notice.
But when I came to meet her this morning what I found instead was an actual rabbit.
The color of its hair and eyes were exactly the same as Emma's.
And the dress I'd gifted her earlier was now carelessly spread out on the floor.
Gilbert: [still shocked] Did you go and turn into a rabbit again?
When asked this, Emma began to nod repeatedly.
(Well this sure takes me back...)
Back when I'd been staying in Rhodolite, a rather unexpected event had occurred where Emma had turned into a rabbit.
I'd ultimately concluded it to be a dream at the time, and I was sure I was probably dreaming this time around, too.
However, dream or not, that didn't change the fact that Emma was now a rabbit.
Gilbert: Hehe, are you sure it's alright not to run from me this time?
(Even though you were so blatantly scared the last time.)
When I knelt down on the floor, Emma rushed over to me in a series of hops and began nuzzling my knee.
But then she suddenly froze-up for whatever reason and instead began repeatedly tapping me with her front paws.
(I can't really tell what you're trying to say, but... you're being so cute that it makes me want to immediately go get a cage ready for you.)
I picked up Emma the very literal little rabbit with my hands and raised her to my eye-level.
Her rabbit ears twitched as though she were trying to convey something to me.
Gilbert: Is there something you want to tell me?
With another series of nods, Emma took her short little paw and pointed to her own mouth.
(Oh, I see...)
[Flashback to his original event story]
Emma: H-hey, wait... I turned back...
Emma: ...Hold on, I'm naked!?
Gilbert: Completely naked.
[End flashback]
(If I recall correctly, it'd been a kiss that time that had returned her to her original form.)
Her cute, round eyes now were insisting I bring our faces closer.
Getting a request from such an adorable creature would make anyone want to do whatever it asked.
(However...)
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Gilbert: I'm going prove to you that I still love you all the same even as a rabbit. Which is why... you understand, don't you?
(I won't let you kiss me that easily.)
Even though I understood what Emma was flying into a panic over trying to tell me, I hid that acknowledgement behind a smile.
(Wouldn't it be a waste to have you turn back right away when you're this cute?)
Gilbert: It's almost time, little rabbit.
Gilbert: I'm inviting some nobles from the region over today. I figure it's been a while since I've played the Conquering King.
After securing the little rabbit in my breast-pocket so she wouldn't fall, I began walking.
I felt like even the depressing stuff about to come could be enjoyable in itself with the little rabbit at my side.
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I sat on the vile throne and gazed down upon the nobles bowing their heads.
Every time I assumed this position, I was reminded that I wasn't a man but a beast.
But I had the little rabbit sitting all small and quiet on my lap today, and so my mind was at peace.
(Looks like the nobles and soldiers alike are curious about Emma.)
Not that any of them would say a word about it.
Because they were quite aware that any imprudent remark here and now would only result in immediate beheading.
Gilbert: [grinning] Well, then, shall we start?
Gilbert: I've gathered you all here today for no other reason than to discuss the smuggling reports I've received.
The atmosphere grew tense at once.
I gently stroked the little rabbit with my palm when she, too, stiffened.
Gilbert: Those who have any idea about what I'm talking about should step forward now.
Gilbert: I'm in a good mood today. Which means as long as you don't lie, I might actually show a bit of mercy, you know?
Baron: My gravest apologies, Lord Gilbert.
One of the nobles bowing their heads rubbed his forehead against the floor.
Baron: It's true that we discovered a smuggling route within our territory. However, our house is not involved with it in any way whatsoever.
Baron: The matter is currently under investigation, and I have a progress report with me.
Baron: I'm truly sorry for not reporting it before you—
Gilbert: Oh, no, no, I wasn't talking about you.
Gilbert: My words were directed at the man groveling beside you.
Baron: Huh...
Earl: ...T-this is my first time learning about any smuggling—
Gilbert: Ohh, so that's what you're going with.
Gilbert: I was especially trying to show you mercy today, but what a shame.
(Even though I don't want to scare the little rabbit too much.)
When I turned my gaze to my lap I found the little rabbit looking up at me with worry.
(Are you worried about me or are you worried about the man? ...Because if it's the latter, I'll have no choice but to kill him.)
I gave her chin a little tickle as my way of saying things would be okay.
Gilbert: Earl, you used someone else's territory and then tried to pin the blame on them.
Gilbert: It's the deception that Obsidian so adores. But unfortunately, deception is also the very thing I despise most in this world.
Gilbert: I'll ask you one more time, though. Do you really not know anything about the smuggling?
Earl: ......
The man turned pale and held his tongue as I unleashed my murderous intent.
This was common behavior among liars.
Gilbert: ...I see. That's fine, then.
Gilbert: I don't want my adorable little rabbit to have to see any blood. And besides, it's not like there's really any clear evidence to begin with, right?
The earl's blatant show of relief was all-too-easy to understand.
Gilbert: But you know, it's your fault my precious little rabbit is so scared.
Gilbert: To be this frightened... Poor little thing.
(It's probably because of the murderous intent I'd unleashed... But he was the one who made me do so in the first place.)
Perhaps it was animal instinct that made her so sensitive to murderous intent that wasn't even directed at her.
The little rabbit trembled, but when I stroked my fingers between her ears, her tiny face nuzzled closer to me.
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(Crap, I'm gonna smile.)
Gilbert: [managing to keep his cool] Well, at any rate, you're at fault for scaring my rabbit.
Earl: Lord Gilbert...?
Gilbert: Therefore, guilty. Of a grave crime on top of that. Put him in jail, Roderic.
Roderic: Yes, sir!
Earl: Wait a minute! No matter how you look at it, this is just—
Gilbert: Huh, what's that? You dare complain against me?
As I presented my usual smile, the room fell into silence at once.
(Let's see about detaining him on charges of intimidation of a rabbit until he comes clean.)
(...I'll handle whatever comes after when the little rabbit isn't looking... Hehe.)
Once the deceitful man was taken away, not one of the remaining nobles tried making eye-contact with me.
The only one who looked at me straight-on was the little rabbit.
(Another worried reaction.)
(...Is she telling me to show the man mercy? And yet that's not what I'm sensing.)
(What could it be, this unease...)
Baron: ...Lord Gilbert, we...
Gilbert: Oh, I'm finished with my business here, so feel free to retire. Thank you for your hard work.
Gilbert: But do keep this in mind.
Gilbert: —I will never tolerate corruption and deceit. Each and every one of you should give yourselves a good look if you wish to live a long life.
(You guys are my deception reserve group, after all.)
All the gathered nobles saluted in a panic and left the throne room with pale faces.
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Gilbert: Come, little rabbit. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'll bathe you thoroughly as an apology.
Once the audience ended, I immediately put together a hot bath out of concern that I'd exposed her to a filthy atmosphere.
(Although half of it's just my mischievous spirit.)
Surprisingly, the little rabbit didn't show any restraint.
She obediently immersed herself in the hot water in the basin while firmly keeping her head raised.
(She still seems worried even though we left the throne room. ...Am I just imagining things?)
Gilbert: You hated this so much the last time, little rabbit. ...Aren't you embarrassed?
After I lathered my hands with plant-based soap and began stroking it along the little rabbit's fur, her eyes narrowed in relaxation.
(You have complete trust in me nowadays.)
After rinsing her with hot water, I wrapped her small body in a towel.
But just as I did, the little rabbit suddenly began flailing around violently.
Gilbert: Ahaha, are you only now getting embarrassed?
(I wonder if I accidentally touched some place funny.)
I gently held her close to my chest so I wouldn't drop her.
Taking that momentary advantage, the little rabbit nimbly hopped from my arms until the tip of her nose touched my lips.
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(Oh...)
Emma: Whoa!
The rabbit turned into a person right before my eyes.
I obviously wasn't going to be surprised by this in the event it happened a second time.
But I couldn't help but stare fixedly when a wet, naked body appeared before me.
Emma: ....Please don't look at me like that.
Gilbert: [grins] I washed every inch of you, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about at this stage now, right?
Gilbert: But I definitely got careless there, didn't I.
(I never imagined I'd fall for such a basic trap.)
In normal cases I would have absolutely picked up on the little rabbit's ploy.
Gilbert: ...I'm disappointed in myself.
Emma: Hya—
A cute sound spilled from her lips when I bit her neck.
Whether she was a person or an animal, the little rabbit was utterly adorable.
Gilbert: I wonder if a rabbit will listen properly to whatever you say if you train it?
I slid my lips from her neck to her collarbone before descending to her breasts and gently biting the tip.
As I rolled her nipple with the tip of my tongue while taking in the soap's pleasant fragrance, Emma hurriedly tried to push my forehead away with her hand.
Gilbert: [smiling] What is it?
When I peered into her face I found her eyes wavering and trembling with worry, just like when she'd been an animal.
Emma: Gil...
Emma placed a hand on my forehead while looking like she might start crying at any moment.
Emma: I knew it... You have a fever!
Gilbert: [surprised] ......
Emma: Are you saying you didn't notice? Even though you're this hot to the touch?
(Ah... So that was the meaning behind the little rabbit's gaze.)
Gilbert: Hehe, or maybe I'm just aroused from seeing you naked?
Emma: That's ridiculous. Your hands are always cold when you undress me.
Emma: Let's head to bed at once!
Gilbert: When you put it like that—
Emma: I don't mean it in a pervy way, I genuinely just want you to rest!
Emma pulled my hand and forcefully dragged me to bed.
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(...I'm okay, though...)
But just like that, I was laid against the sheets and put to bed.
Gilbert: [smiles] Little rabbit.
Emma: Do you need medicine?
Gilbert: ....Yes. That's right, I need medicine.
I swallowed what I was actually going to say and instead pulled Emma under the covers with me.
Gilbert: Hehe... I have an all-purpose medicine right here, so I imagine I'll get better in no time?
Emma: ...I pray that's what happens.
Emma nuzzled her face into my chest the same way she had when she'd been a rabbit.
She must have clearly noticed how fond the beast was of such an act.
(Baby rabbits are the weakest of creatures in this world.)
(Eaten up by beasts right away, and seeming like they'll die at the slightest thing...)
(Even so, you were the only one.)
(I met with loads of people today, but you were the only one who looked me in the eye and noticed something was wrong.)
(The brave and kind-hearted little rabbit...)
I hugged her hard. Tightly.
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(Please let me feel that this isn't a dream.)
~fin
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If it really is a dream again this time around, then he's having this dream while sleeping, sick, in a separate room. And even though he chose to do so because he didn't want Emma to notice that he's sick, this dream shows that what he actually wants is the exact opposite. I mean, it's Gilbert. Of course that's what he wants. To be comforted. And to catch Emma naked.
I hope he wakes up in Emma's arms. And I hope he gets scolded for trying to hide how he was feeling.
Disclaimer: I just throw stuff into translators online, so accuracy is not guaranteed. References: こくこく 1 | わけでもない 1 | この俺 1 | ともなれば 1 2 | やましい 1
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llyfrenfys · 1 day
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In which I try not to be That Guy TM when it comes to Irish ancestors: An exploration of ancestry, diaspora and culture
Because of The Horrors TM in my life atm I've been looking into my biological family tree. I'm adopted but estranged from my adoptive family and I never met my biological family since I was adopted just short of my 2nd birthday. I've been tracing my ancestry for about 3 years now and it's genuinely quite stress relieving to me. It's also fun and challenging from a research standpoint - putting together my own family tree gave me the skills to write articles like this one I wrote in 2022 about historical Welsh queer people, for example.
Lately, I've been finding out more about my Irish ancestors while an adoptee (and thus not knowing any of my biological family) - but also doing this as a Celticist and tired of people doing the 'my sister's friend's cousin's father's mother was Irish' thing. This has created an almost unbearable tension between curiosity at my own ancestry while trying not to be That Guy who finds out about one (1) Irish ancestor hundreds of years ago and is weird about it.
Especially since mine are quite distant ancestors - my great, great, great grandparents were born in Dublin and in a tiny village in County Down called Dunnaman (near Kilkeel). However, they were Irish Catholics and emigrated to Liverpool in the 1870s - all of their subsequent children and grandchildren were born in Liverpool and all of the above + great grandchildren were raised Catholic - including my grandmother (who died before I was born). So there was an obvious attempt to maintain that heritage. There's even evidence my great, great, great grandmother at least spoke Irish (which, as she was born in County Down, would have been Ulster Irish).
The problems with uncritically throwing oneself at an ancestor's nationality:
Now, not all North Americans of Irish (or Welsh, Scottish, Italian, Scandinavian, German etc.) descent do this - but there's a very vocal set of North Americans of Irish descent who find awe and interest in their ancestry - which is actually quite a positive thing! - however, due to either temporal or cultural disconnect, they may end up doing or saying things (and not necessarily with bad intentions) which can have a negative impact on the Irish and the Irish language (or [nationality] and [language(s) associated with that nationality].
I'm reminded of the time an American commented on a Welsh language rights post I made in support of Welsh speakers, but they accidentally ended up using a white nationalist slogan by mistake. It can be a minefield - and with regards to Ireland specifically, mistakes like that can be so much worse. To literally give my own (mild) example, today I decided to relearn Irish (since I haven't spoken any in years since being taught basics at undergrad) and picked up a blank notebook I bought at Tesco the other week, while completely forgetting the inside cover of the notebook was orange. I was planning on decorating the notebook anyway and painted it a different colour. While I know that nobody would really hold it against me if I didn't change the colour, I just know that walking around with an orange notebook filled with Irish I'm relearning because of interest in my Catholic ancestors could be a confusing set of messages, at the very least. If you don't understand why this is, look up the meanings of the colours on the flag of Ireland.
Which is to say, even those of us in Northern Europe who have significantly greater physical proximity to Ireland than North America (and therefore should know better) still can and do get things wrong. And not just benignly wrong like in my case.
The tendency for some North Americans of Irish descent (Canada isn't exempt from this) to conflate Irish ancestry with a contemporary connection to the modern countries located on the island of Ireland as a whole can have results ranging from 'a bit weird' to 'jesus fucking christ'. As a Celticist, I've seen far, far too many Americans of Irish descent try to weigh in on modern Irish politics without any background knowledge or tact at all - and naturally they stake their claim on modern Irish politics entirely on the premise of having distant Irish ancestors. Or, even worse, things start to get all phrenological.
'Irish blood' and the nonexistence thereof:
'Irish blood' is continually evoked by some to validate their sense of 'Irishness' and the obsession with '[insert nationality] blood' is a distinctly North American phenomenon- likely related to or an offshoot of the concept of 'blood quantum', in which enrolment into some Native American nations and tribes is determined by how much 'Native blood' a person has. Notably, many people who would ostensibly have been described under this system as 'full blood' were registered by the US as 'half blood'. This is a method of genocide intended to wipe out tribes and nations by imposing strict measures of who does or does not qualify to enrol into a tribe or nation. This concept seems to have been extrapolated over time (in a North American context at least) into the idea of descent from other nationalities' being measured in a similar or adjacent way. This is how you end up with some North Americans declaring they are '1/8 Italian and 1/4 Irish' on their dad's side etc. While in Europe (where these nationalities hail from, crucially) this practice is seen as a really weird way to describe your ancestry. In general, it's simply 'my 4 times grandfather came from Spain' or 'my great great grandfather on my dad's side came from Finland' etc. if it comes up at all. For various political reasons, many Europeans with descent from multiple other European nationalities may choose to omit to mention descent from certain nationalities, especially if in recent history there has been conflict between their birth nation and an ancestor's nation. The most famous example of this is literally the British royal family changing their surname from the German Saxe-Coburg and Gotha to the more 'British sounding' Windsor in 1917 due to the onset of the First World War.
Where it gets really weird (and also very offensive and rude) is when cultural stereotypes get invoked alongside the whole 'blood' thing in usually quite damaging and/or disparaging ways. I've seen way too many North Americans of Irish descent claim they're alcoholics because they have 'Irish blood' or even worse, claim it's normal to domestically abuse their spouses because of it!! (Genuine thing I have seen btw). Same goes for claiming to be a naturally good chef because of 'Italian blood' and so on. As a general rule, people from the place where your ancestors were from don't generally like to be inherently be considered drunks or prone to violence due to their nationality. Or have weird and inaccurate idealisms projected onto their language or cuisine.
Aren't there any positives?
It wouldn't be fair to make a post like this without mentioning some of the positives that can come from interest in an Irish ancestor. Like I mentioned at the start of this post, I myself felt inspired to relearn Irish because of my own Irish ancestors. I was taught the Connacht dialect at undergrad, however, since my ancestor was from County Down, I'm going to try and learn Ulster Irish instead. One doesn't need Irish ancestors to learn Irish of course - when I learned I wasn't aware I had any Irish ancestors. But being inspired to learn Irish because of an ancestor can't hurt and directly increases the number of Irish speakers in the world (provided you keep at it). This is a net positive for the language as a whole.
Similarly, people who have educated themselves on Irish politics because of their ancestry and genuinely learned something are also a positive thing to come out of discovering Irish ancestors. In my experience, these people are the kind of people I enjoy talking to about being a Celticist because they actively want to learn and respect the cultures being talked about. Which is huge to me!
Conclusion:
As a Welsh speaker whose national identity is more-or-less Jan Morris-esque, my Irish ancestry is an interesting facet of my ancestry I simply didn't know about before. And being an adopted person, I can sympathise with the general sentiment of a lot of white North Americans of feeling disconnected or alienated from any ancestral heritage. The conditions which create That Guy TM as described above rely on that sense of alienation to propagate a very ineffective, tactless and often very insensitive approach to Irish and other European cultures. But the important thing is that that approach can be challenged by people genuinely interested in their ancestry who are also conscientious of the living versions of the cultures their ancestors hailed from.
For me, that means learning Irish in a dialect my ancestors are likely to have spoken. I also visited the library today to check out some books on the Irish emigration to England and the sociopolitical reasons behind that emigration. I know the broad strokes, but the details are desirable to know to get a better idea of the why and how the country of my birth had a hand in creating the conditions which led my ancestors to emigrate in the first place. I think the world would be a better place if people took the time to understand the history and politics of ancestors which don't share their nationality.
As always, reblogs and thoughts are welcomed and encouraged!
Thank you for reading to the end - and if you'd like to support me, please see my pinned post. Diolch!
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drunkenskunk · 2 days
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Welcome to another Drunk Skunk™ rant!
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So.
I've had some time to sit and stew on the Fallout show, and I think I've finally figured out exactly what I want to say. Because kids? I got Opinions™ about this fucking series. I sincerely wish I didn't have all these Opinions™, because that would almost certainly cause me significantly less stress.
But here we are.
The Fallout show annoys me, but not for the reasons you think.
Let's get the good out of the way first. And by "good" I mean "damning with faint praise."
The Fallout show, as a piece of entertainment and experienced in a vacuum with no prior knowledge or context of the rest of the series or any of the other video games, is... fine. It's an entertaining television show. It's not great, but it's not terrible. It's okay.
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The best part of the show is, unquestionably, Walton Goggins. Which is probably the coldest take here, everyone agrees that he's fantastic in this. And it's true! Granted, he doesn't look nearly as gnarly as he should, as the makeup is really giving Ryan Reynolds Deadpool Hugo Weaving Red Skull vibes, but I can honestly give that a pass. He steals every single scene he's in. He has all the best lines. Plus, all the pre-war flashbacks with him are excellent. That first scene when the bombs drop is fucking harrowing.
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SPEAKING OF THE BOMBS!
The big reveal that Vault Tec were the ones to kickstart the apocalypse. My initial gut reaction to that was... Not Great. I didn't like it. In fact, I kinda hated it. I thought it was an answer to a question that nobody asked, because nobody cared, because it was never supposed to matter who shot first. The original point was that the end of the world was the inevitable outcome after so many years of war, so many years of stockpiling nuclear weapons, and so many bad decisions from everyone in positions of power on all sides of the conflict.
But the more I think about Vault Tec being the ones to destroy the world... I dunno, the more I... kinda like it? In a fashion. Sort of. As you can see by the remaining length of this fucking rant, I have Complicated Feelings about this!
See, Fallout has never exactly been subtle with its themes, but the show drops all pretense, and openly embraces a staunchly (and honestly, extremely surprising) anti-capitalist narrative.
The Fallout show pulls a Garth Marenghi unironically, and it honestly... kinda works?
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Vault Tec were the ones to drop the bombs because they wanted to recreate the world in their image of a capitalist "paradise" free of any and all government regulation. The inevitable end result of the "great game" of capitalism is the literal end of the world, and the capitalists will do everything they can to destroy any attempts to rebuild any civilization not explicitly under their direct control. Because that's what capitalists do: they pursue an ultimately self-destructive goal that is not, and never was, sustainable, and will destroy everything else in their pursuit of endless, infinite, exponential growth, forever. Nothing else matters except Make Number Line Go Up.
Side note: it is extremely funny to me that Bethesda - a hollow shell of greed and excess who have been releasing the same game with different wallpapers over and over again since Oblivion - and Amazon - which is fucking Amazon - bankrolled a show where the villains are greedy capitalists who explicitly destroyed the world because of fiduciary duty to the shareholders. Like... guys, you do realize you two are Vault Tec in this scenario, right?
Ah well. That's capitalist realism for ya.
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Anyway, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes that Vault Tec were the ones to drop the bombs.
HOWEVER.
Maybe this is just me being a cynical, drunken asshole here, but... it feels like this was a decision that was made, not because it was the best way to take the narrative, but instead as a means of enforcing the Status Quo of Bethesda Fallout.
See, the thing I liked about the west coast Fallout games was that it showed a world ravaged by the apocalypse, but it also showed that world beginning to heal. 200 years after The End, and civilization was returning. It was a natural evolution of things, emphasizing the post part of "post-apocalypse." It showed us a world that really sucked a lot of the time... but also gave us a small sliver of hope that, no matter what nightmares existed after The End, things could - and would - get better, so long as we put in the work to make it better. It was a world that showed us that nothing was ever so broken that it couldn't be repaired. We just had to fucking EARN that happy ending.
Bethesda Fallout, on the other hand, is just Wacky Wasteland Adventure Time. They are not interested in showing a world evolving or changing or growing, they just want a blasted hellscape that looks like it was freshly nuked yesterday. Why? Because that's the surface-level Aesthetic of Fallout. That is what is recognizable. And Aesthetic is all they know how to do. That's the mother fucking Brand.
Doing something different would risk changing the Brand, and if that kind of change happens, then it's no longer easily marketable. So they just keep with what's familiar: freshly irradiated hellscapes, caps as currency, makeshift weapons, psychotic raiders with no purpose or goals beyond Fuck You, and more of the fucking Brotherhood of Steel. It's all the stuff we remember, so we can point at the screen and go "I recognize that!" instead of allowing the setting to evolve and creating something new.
And that's what annoys me the most. Because even though Vault Tec destroying the world in 2077 makes a certain amount of sense, it also feels like it only exists as a means of artificially enforcing the status quo of the setting. Which means that nothing will ever matter in Fallout ever again. It doesn't matter what happens, or what changes in the future, or who wins the next ideological conflict between the same factions that keep reappearing over and over again like radroaches. Because whenever something strays too far from the established setting, Vault Tec (or, more accurately, Bethesda) is just going to nuke it again, like what happened to Shady Sands.
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And, y'know, Shady Sands getting nuked like that really does rankle. Not because I ever had any attachment to the NCR, but because destroying it in the way that they did just felt so fucking lazy. If they wanted to get rid of the NCR, there were easily half a dozen other things they could've done that would've made far more sense. The NCR was a fantastically corrupt government, making the same mistakes as the same governments that (up until the show) were responsible for destroying the world. California was running out of food and clean drinking water because of gross negligence and mismanagement, public unrest was high because of excessive taxation and the "stop tolls" of corrupt border guards shaking down people, and both the military and bureaucracy of the NCR was spread fucking paper-thin, due to their policies of violent imperialist expansionism trying to take far more territory than they could reasonably hold, far more quickly than they could ever manage.
And did any of that matter? No. Not at all. Pursuing any of those plot threads would've required the writers to actually come up with some new ideas. So, instead, it was destroyed because of a cryogenically frozen Vault Tec middle manager with family problems. It was such a fucking lazy solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place. It felt like the Fallout equivalent of "Somehow, Palpatine has returned."
That's why this show annoys me so much. Because this show that exists without subtlety or subtext, is telling us, to our face:
Don't hope for a better future, because it will never come. The world of Fallout is a destroyed, irradiated hellscape, entirely devoid of hope, and it will never, ever change, ever again.
Because that's the Fallout Brand, and that's what fucking sells.
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jestroer · 2 months
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Anyone interested in my life and who seen my previous post about trying to quit caffeine, I did quit it fully in the last month in a half!
Did it help me in anxiety, fatigue and insomnia department? Not at all actually! Not even a little I don't think! It was a solid try on my part tho!
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lovrspell · 2 months
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First time
Pairing: Astarion x Gn!Reader.
Summary: a little throwback to when Astarion received aftercare for the very first time — from you.
Warnings: Fluff. Suggestive. Mentions of abuse/trauma. Inability to manage displays of affection. Vampire bite. Blood sucking. Aftercare.
Word count: 2,3k
Masterlist.
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Looking back in time and examining your relationship with Astarion now and several months ago, you realize how much progress you have made together. Astarion, especially.
Now, he trusts, loves, and cherishes you effortlessly, finding comfort in the familiarity of your presence. Your intimate moments are a source of joy, marked by the tenderness of your comforting kisses and caresses. He's accustomed to it all.
But... Before, things were different.
Sometimes you recall the times when he shamelessly hit on you, and you're surprised that you deluded yourself that it was real interest, at least in the beginning — he used it as a defense mechanism, it was something rooted in him.
As for your first night together, it was... Well, it was definitely memorable.
———
“...Are you okay?" you asked, still out of breath from the passion you two just shared. The air in the tent was humid — you had quite the experience.
He turns to you, that usual smirk of his playing on his lips. “W-.. A-ha! Why wouldn't I be okay? I could finally taste you. Of course I'm okay.”
You gave a slight nod, lying down again. Astarion had already sat up, and in that position you could capture even the smallest details of that huge scar on his back you noticed earlier while you undressed him — but you didn't dare to ask about it yet.
In a brief spell of silence, you found yourself teetering between the realms of dreams and reality. The tranquility was interrupted by the sound of a forced cough. Abruptly, your eyes opened to the sight of Astarion staring down at you, fully clothed, wearing a somewhat snarky expression.
He looked anxious. Not his usual self, for sure.
In your half-asleep state, seeing him like that worried you. Were you talking in your sleep, by any chance? Were you drooling?
“What's— What's wrong?”
He raised an eyebrow, shifting his weight from hip to hip.
“It's kind of late, darling.” his tone had something almost impatient about it.
“I guess it is.”
Poor, oblivious you.
In that moment, you witnessed such confusion in him that it made you blink a few times; you couldn't wrap your head on where he was trying to go with that.
Parallelly, he couldn't understand you. Usually he offered his body, the other person took advantage of it and then… They left. But you? You were still there. And you hadn't even bothered to get dressed.
It was natural finding it a bit peculiar to see you still in his tent several moments after your climax. Was there a silent invitation for another round lingering in the air? Was he supposed to read between the lines?
A few moments of silence lingered as he gazed at you, perplexed. You returned the same gaze until a subtle shift in your expression hinted a realization –
Perhaps he sought some personal space.
Feeling a tinge of embarrassment, you blushed, not wanting to come across as intrusive.
“You want me to go?”
He's lost in his thoughts and, very unlikely of him, at a loss of words, apparently. It seems like his brain was trying to process too many informations at the same time, resulting in him going silent.
But you, at the time, as accustomed as you were and still are to gentle kissing and lingering caresses after the thrills of sex, recognized his behavior as annoyance towards your presence; therefore feeling unwanted you took it personally. Still, you didn't want to be on his tail.
“...Alright.”
You began to gather your clothes rather quickly, which were scattered here and there around the tent. As you absentmindedly buttoned your shirt, his gaze was fixed on you.
“See you tomorrow, Astarion. Thank you for... This. Good night.”
The fact that you thanked him for having sex with you baffled him enough, but never as much as the little kiss you planted on his cheek before leaving his tent. Simple and tender.
The tent flap swayed back and forth gracefully, following the lead of the gentle wind on a quiet night. His gaze lingered on the space where you had just been, right in front of him.
What was that?
He tried to think clearly.
During this shared night, he found no compulsion to wander far, to delve into the empty, dark yet strangely comforting realm he usually retreats to in moments like these — while to no one's surprise he effortlessly entered that familiar mental space without conscious effort.
He had sex with you because he knew no other way to gain your trust and protection. That looming, self-loathing sensation is still there, clawing under his skin and nibbling at his self respect with a trillion sharp teeth — but that kiss... That simple kiss on the cheek made him feel something he can't quite define. It's new and scary.
He wondered if it was really necessary to do all this to have your support in this journey.
He was too accustomed to the life he led under Cazador's command — seducing to survive. You're the first person he's willingly had sex with since escaping Cazador and he wasn't even fully into it; the thought upsets him.
Perhaps he's overthinking a simple kiss on the cheek.
But was it that simple?
The thoughts reached a deafening crescendo, and, as if emerging from a dream, he blinked several times and looked around, dazed. He needed to rest.
———
It's been a while since your sexual encounter. Astarion has not failed to make some teasing remarks about it every now and then, alluding to a second chance to indulge in each other again.
That second opportunity occurred, but several days after the first. It happened when you told him that he could feed on you that night and agreed that you would meet at your tent.
Astarion came to visit you late in the evening, when almost everyone had already retired to their tents. He found you reading a book, lying on your stomach.
“Hello, darling.” he greets you, his voice a sound that wakes you from your trance from the huge book you were absorbed into.
“Hi,” you reply distractedly, turning quickly towards him and taking the opportunity to stretch. You pushed the book aside, closing it.
It seemed that over the course of the day you had forgotten that you had proposed him to feed on you — the look of surprise on your face that dissolved rather quickly gave it away. You were visibly tired, he noticed. However, as soon as your eyes met his, you offered a gentle, sheepish smile — the kind reserved for moments when words become wearisome.
Allowing him to feed on you even when it seemed that all you wanted to do was rest stirred a semblance of life in his chest.
You sat up, adjusting comfortably. “I’m ready.” you informed him, moving the fabric of your clothing away from your neck to expose it to him.
Astarion stared at you, and for a moment he didn't say or do anything. He wanted to do something different this time, not just bite you, suck your blood, and then return to his tent. No, he wanted to try something new.
Instead of bringing his mouth to your neck, he brought it to your lips. He kissed you slowly, introducing his tongue in your mouth tentatively — but when he felt the natural tension vanish from your body, he brought his hands to your waist and deepened the kiss.
Astarion felt you melt in his arms, remembering how you had let yourself go the same way a few nights before.
Your hands came up to rest on his shoulders; Astarion leaned towards you until you were laying down. His lips separated from yours with a pop and only then did he place them on your neck. But even there, before sinking his sharp fangs into your skin, he planted a few kisses here and there.
He persisted, leaving a trail of kisses that moistened your neck. His lips traced a path to a point just under your ear, where he planted an open-mouthed kiss. Suddenly, you experienced a sharp, dull pain spreading rapidly in that spot. You hissed, clutching his shirt tightly and exhaling sharply; you heard a soft hum coming from him as he immediately began swallowing mouthfuls of your warm, succulent blood.
That little kissing ritual was to thank you, in a way. You were and have always been available to him, despite his bad temper and grumpy tendencies.
As he fed, the movement of one of your hands moving from his shoulders distracted him.
Next, he felt the touch of a gentle hand running through his hair.
He was so focused on sucking your blood that he didn't even notice for the first few seconds. Accordingly, he felt the distinct touch of your warm hand move across his cheek and cupping it.
What are you doing?
Your tender touch left him puzzled. Akin to a feather's caress, it cradled him in a way that stirred a desire more profound than any teasing or vulgar contact could evoke.
You felt him grunt against you, the guttural sound vibrating through your being.
Those touches reminded him of that kiss you had printed on his cheek after your night together; his stomach twisted in contrasting sensations.
He pulled away from you after a few seconds, but your caresses didn't stop. Your blood dripped from the corner of his mouth, his hair disheveled as a result of your fingers combing through his curls.
“What's up?” you asked, trying not to giggle at the fact that he looked like he had just woke up. You reached an hand in his hair to fix some wild curls back in their place.
He didn't answer at first, but then he shrugged slightly.
“Nothing.” he muttered softly, his body moving in your direction almost without his control. He was experiencing new things within himself, things he had never felt before.
A desire. A genuine desire, nothing that had to do with that of a few evenings prior. Despite his less-than-noble intentions previously, he openly acknowledges being drawn to you. However, unlike before when intimacy served a strategic purpose, this time things are different.
He craves you spontaneously, yielding to the impulse of the moment. While leaning in for a passionate, bloody kiss on your lips, he pledges not to flee from this moment or from you. No mental refuge exists now, just two bodies entwined and two souls merging into one another.
The tenderness of that kiss amazed you.
You feel his arms wrap around your waist to lift you up in his lap, kisses trailing down your neck to suck briefly on the holes he left in it.
One thing led to another and a few minutes later, you were both naked and nestled into each other.
Astarion was thrusting his hips into you breathlessly, continuing just to try drawing another orgasm out of your guts before you pull apart. This has been going on for a while now; he has absolutely drained you. In every way.
You had noticed a certain vigor in him, which was not given solely and exclusively by the fact that he had just made an excellent reserve of blood. He felt alive, present, current. He was there with you, made a puddle in your arms while you cradled each other through your collective ecstasy.
If the first time his gaze seemed empty and absent, often far from yours, now it was bright and lively, never too distant from your own. It was impossible not to notice the difference.
When the rush of pleasure died down, he pulled away from you slowly, almost reluctantly. He came down from above you to lie next to your body; both sweaty and out of breath, you remained silent for several minutes.
You anticipated for him to leave as soon as possible, given the discomfort he displayed that evening when you prolonged your stay just a bit, expecting to spend some time together after your sexual activity.
But he remained there, next to you, his expression thoughtful but relaxed. You assumed he didn't want to leave just yet.
However, just as that pleasant, inviting thought etched itself into your beliefs, he sat up and reached for his undergarments dispersed around the tent.
You frowned, sitting up and reaching for his arm without even thinking twice.
“Wait, wait... Why don't you stay?”
You didn't fail to catch him off guard this time, too. Your voice had such a sweet, pleading edge to it.
“We can talk, we can... We can even just be silent together. Do you want to?”
He guessed it couldn't hurt to try.
He lay down again, putting his clothes aside. He saw you smile from the corner of his eye as you did the same, this time lying on your side.
One of your hands carefully came up to caress his chest tentatively. The tips of your nails scratched his skin deliciously, sending shivers down his spine. His eyes fluttered and he looked up at you; he was confused, disorientated.
“What are you doing?”
“Do you not like it?”
“...I do.”
“Then just enjoy it.”
He followed your advice.
In that instant, he embodied a certain beauty that surpassed his usual charm. Surrendering to your soothing enfolds, he reached a blissful state, breaking down every wall and baring his soul to you. Every muscle in his body eased into relaxation. He scoots closer until he's basically all curled up in your arms, melting against your comforting heat.
That night, he shared a peaceful slumber with you, and to this day, he never ceases to express his profound gratitude for the invaluable gift of your love.
You made his dead heart start beating again.
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vanteguccir · 3 months
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starve and die | c. sturniolo
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Chris Sturniolo x reader | Matt and Nick Sturniolo x reader (platonic)
Summary: When Nick and Matt test positive for covid and Chris has to go into lockdown to prevent catching the virus, who will look after them?
Warning: Covid-19, sickness.
Author's note: I've just watched the triplets new video and had this idea!!
PS.: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
Y/N sighed as she turned off her car, preparing herself for the long days ahead, not that it was a burden for her to take care of her boyfriend and best friends, almost brothers.
Matt and Nick tested positive for Covid-19 two days ago, and the first thing Chris did upon receiving their test results was send a quick text to Y/N saying that they both had the virus and that he and his brothers would have to be in lockdown for at least five days.
He sent many texts asking her to not worry, as his brothers' symptoms weren't much more than the flu, and that he was fine and would stay in his room so he wouldn't run the risk of catching the virus too, but who said she listened?
Y/N knew that Chris wouldn't have the patience to make healthy food at least three times a day for him and his brothers, and she knew how afraid he was of getting sick too. Y/N didn't have that worry, being a medical student and a resident at LA's main private hospital, she knew very well how to deal with all of this and wouldn't spare any energy when taking care of her family.
The girl was grateful that her boss had empathy and gave her a few days off work.
With that, Y/N prepared herself the day before, going to the nearest pharmacy to buy some boxes of covid tests and a new box of disposable masks, since the one she had at home was running low, and then went to Target, buying several healthy snacks, fruits, vegetables and chicken to make several soups and light food dishes, not intending to make anything heavy or fatty with fear of making the boys' situation worse.
Today, before leaving the house, Y/N prepared a backpack with a few extra changes of clothes, without overfilling it due to having more than enough of it at the triplets' house. Furthermore, she took a purse and put everything she would need: masks, tests, food and some medicines that are allowed during covid to alleviate some symptoms.
Before getting out of the driver's seat, Y/N grabbed the mask she had ready next to her, putting it on her face and finally getting out of the car. Y/N closed the door and opened the back seat, grabbing her backpack and purse, quickly locking the car and walking to the front door. The girl searched the pocket of her Fresh Love sweatpants, soon finding the spare key to her boyfriend's house.
After unlocking the door, she opened it carefully, not wanting to make too much noise, already knowing that one of the boys had a headache, if not all of them.
The girl walked to the kitchen and placed her things on the counter, before going back to the door to close and lock it.
Before Y/N started her first task, she walked to Chris's room, seeing the door closed. She knocked twice lightly, opening it slowly and seeing Chris under the covers staring at the ceiling, in the dark, with only the light from his TV illuminating the space, the girl held back a laugh knowing that her boyfriend was probably losing his mind for staying locked in his room alone for days.
Chris quickly raised his head with the sound, taking a few seconds to realize that Y/N was there, his eyes widening in surprise.
"Babe, what are you doing here?" He asked, getting up quickly and walking towards her, asking with his eyes if he could get closer and the girl rolled her eyes, nodding.
"I came to take care of you three idiots." She mumbled against the mask, closing her eyes momentarily as she felt Chris's arms around her, never wanting to let go.
"I told you not to worry, I had everything under control." Chris murmured, pulling away to look her in the eyes.
"Of course, so much so that you were lying there staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world." She let out a laugh when she heard Chris snort. "I'm sure you must be starving, when was the last time you ate some real food?" Y/N questioned, seeing Chris shrug.
"You talk as if I didn't show up at the hospital almost everyday with lunch for you." Chris snapped like a child, crossing his arms.
"Lunch that Nick made." She argued, laughing loudly when Chris huffed, frowning. "I'm kidding, baby, I love it when you show up at the hospital with lunch for me." Y/N said, approaching and planting a kiss on Chris's shoulder behind the mask.
"By the way, weren't you on duty today?" Chris asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he took his phone out of his hoodie pocket and double-clicked the screen, checking the date.
"I did, but I asked my boss for a few days off so I could take care of you and she gave it to me." Y/N said smiling big, and Chris couldn't help but smile back as he saw his girlfriend's eyes shrink from her happy expression, without being able to see her smile directly.
"Well, since you're already here, I think I'm a little hungry." Chris joked, running his hand over his belly and giving her a mischievous smile.
"Alright little kid, I'm going to cook you something and you're going to stay here in your room and look pretty." The girl said, pushing Chris lightly, blowing a kiss and closing the door behind her.
Y/N walked to the kitchen again, not containing her goofy smile.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Y/N lifted the lid of the pan, taking the wooden spoon and quickly tasting the chicken soup (here in Brazil we call it canja, and it works miracles when you're sick, and it's delicious), letting out a sound of pleasure for the flavor. She turned off the heat, taking three plates from the cupboard and the spoon, distributing the soup on each of the plates, sprinkling some leek on top before taking three spoons and placing them inside the plates.
The girl took three glasses and added fresh orange juice, which she made minutes before, and took two pills of the only headache medicine allowed during the virus.
Y/N opened one of the cabinets and took three trays, placing them side by side on the counter and arranging on top of each one the plate of soup, the glass of juice and the medicine pill.
She quickly grabbed the first tray and walked carefully to Matt's bedroom door, bending down and placing the tray on the floor before knocking on the door three times.
"Matt?"
"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Y/N heard Matt's voice, feeling in his voice the pain the boy was feeling.
"I came to take care of you three, I made some soup and juice, they're in here." She replied, hearing the boy move around inside the room before walking away and returning to the kitchen, hearing the sound of the door opening and closing a few minutes later.
Y/N took the second tray and walked to Nick's room, hearing his voice behind the door, assuming he was on a call with someone or recording a video. The girl bent down and placed the tray on the floor again, knocking firmly on the door to make sure Nick heard.
"What are you doing outside your room, Chris?" Nick shouted from inside the room, making the girl laugh. "Y/N?!" He asked in surprise before quickly opening the door and Y/N applauded herself for wearing the mask. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be working?" Nick asked, holding the camera in one of his hands, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"I took a few days off to take care of you three. And I made real food!" Y/N repeated the same sentence for the thousandth time, pointing to the tray, smiling when she saw the taller's eyes light up.
The boy bent down, picking up the tray with one of his hands and straightening up, raising the camera again and smiling wide at the lens.
"Guys, Y/N brought food for us, the hungry ones. Everyone say "thank you Y/N"." Nick spoke into the lens, smiling widely at the girl before closing the door after seeing her turn to go back to the kitchen.
Finally, the girl took the last tray and walked to the last room, her boyfriend's, where she would stay for the rest of the days, knowing that the boy was free of the virus.
"Honey? Open here for me, please." Y/N asked from behind the door, entering the room after Chris quickly opened it with a smile on his face, staring at the soup on the tray.
The girl let out a laugh, placing the tray on the boy's computer desk and sitting on his bed, pointing at the food.
"Bon appétit, my love."
"What would I do without you?" Chris asked, approaching the computer desk and sitting in the chair.
"Starve and die." She replied, laughing loudly behind her mask as she saw Chris shove a spoonful of soup into his mouth as he nodded quickly, without actually hearing her.
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angelltheninth · 1 month
Note
5 and/or 11 from the recent writing prompt list for gojo, please, if you don't mind? 👀
You know I don't mind writing for my bae Gojo.
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, established relationship, grinding, clothed sex, making out, reunion kiss, flirting
Word count: 0.6k
A/N: Bit of angst here but nothing too bad, mostly smut.
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11. Hands desperately clutching at one another, gasping into each other’s mouths as if you were starved of one another.
Almost a month. That's how long you and Gojo has been apart. You ran through the hall frantically, rushing to open that door and fall into his arms. More like crash against him this time but that didn't matter nearly as much as kissing him.
You pulled each other close, his hands scrambling to lock the door as best as he could with him being so occupied. After a few failed attempts he succeeded, following it up with grabbing your thighs and helping you wrap them around his lower back.
This freed his hands to travel across your body, groping and squeezing your breasts through your clothes, reaching back to your ass and guiding it down to grind against his pulsing bulge.
"Gojo, missed you." You moaned into his mouth, barely getting a word in between your tongues fighting for dominance. "I need you so bad right now."
"I missed you too babe. Felt like I was gonna go crazy without you there." It was a hard decision to split you two for missions but it was made after you got into way too many distractions which resulted in you nearly losing track of the demon. You were a new couple, very much in your horny honeymoon phase. Just so happened that you were also a very strong duo. Taking you off this mission made it take longer. "Shit. I won't last long. I couldn't touch myself for the whole week, my cock's about to fucking explode if I don't get all this cum out."
Gojo rarely complained like this, mostly because you had a very active sex life. Neither of you went neglected, all your needs met. "Come for me then." You grunted against his lips while rolling your hips and grabbing at his belt. Undoing his pants provided him some relief but it wasn't enough, it only made the stickiness between your thighs harder to ignore.
Neither of you had the self control to say quiet about your make out session, moaning and gasping into each other's mouth while Gojo's hips pick up speed, his cock now fully straining in his pants and leaving a dark spot on them.
"'Bout to come. Watch me come for you." Gojo moved you against the wall where you could lean back and enjoy the show he was putting on. His hands pushed your skirt up, smirking at how wet your underwear was. "Close too?"
You didn't trust your words so you nodded quickly, grabbing at the roots of his hair and pulling him close, lips so close but not touching, feeling each other getting closer to your inevitable release. Gojo let out one last strained groan as his cum dirtied his boxers, and moments later your hand as you stroked the last of his cum onto your hand.
He watched as that same hand pushed past your underwear and you rolled your hips against it, spreading the cum around your pussy and clit until your body shook against his. Gojo pulled you close, holding you through your high, "We have to make them let us go on missions again. This will drive me mad, I can't keep edging like this every time."
"I don't know, you get pretty wild when you're on edge." Your sadistic smile caused his cock to twitch again but his face was far from happy. "Oh relax! I'm kidding. I want to go on more missions with you too. But I don't think two new Sorcerer's will change anyone's mind."
That was the sad truth of your current position. After you got more field experience the decision might change. For now at least you'd have to learn to keep your hands to yourselves. It might be good for you to have some time apart if this frantic make out and dry humping session was any indication.
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dukeofankh · 3 months
Text
Trying to find progressive masculine community is so exhausting.
I've flipped through local men's groups, trying to find places to explore masculinity in a chill, progressive setting. First of all, they mostly seem to be modelled after AA, and like, my gender isn't a debilitating addiction, it's part of my identity actually, but also, the invite and description of the event have maybe a short paragraph tops actually waving vaguely in the direction of what the purpose of the group is, and then ten to twenty paragraphs breaking down the rules. One spent longer talking about the hand signals he would use to direct conversation than he did describing what the conversation would be about. Another had a full paragraph explaining that if the group thought you were evading what they thought your "real" problem was, they'd probably "call you to take accountability". Like...I don't even know who these people are yet and they're already letting me know that they view it as their right, no, their duty, to bully me into seeing things their way. Like, this is in the invite.
...and this warning is there instead of any sort of breakdown of like, I dunno. Whether you should be a feminist to show up. Whether it was a safe space for queer men. What the hell they wanted to talk about. Joining a men's space is on some level inherently submitting yourself to the authority of the leaders of that group, and you don't usually get a particularly clear breakdown of what the values and goals of those leaders are, because on some level the answer is always going to be "whatever I want"
And like, unfortunately you do need to filter men to build a men's space. You do need to remove or chastise men who act in ways that are toxic or disruptive or misogynistic. If you don't things turn into an MRA chapter pretty quick. But the sort of emergency powers that leadership takes on as a result of that...just kind of naturally end up reproducing masculine heirarchies.
MensLib, the only online community of progressive dudes talking about masculinity that I'm aware of, is...on Reddit. So there is a moderator system. In theory, a moderator is there to...moderate. This is a space where people are going to be talking, and mods are there to make sure things don't get too toxic or off topic.
The issue is that, on some level, that is technically a leadership position. In a sub trying to rehabilitate masculinity. So you've got a bunch of folks who view themselves as the leaders of this bastion of goodness standing against the depredations of the misogynistic internet, guiding the hapless smooth-brain neophytes towards The True Way.
In practice, this looks like 95 percent of the posts submitted for the subreddit being rejected. That isn't hyperbole. On average, the sub has about one new post per day. Almost all posts directly relating a personal experience are deleted immediately, in favour of articles written about masculinity in traditional media publications, which are considered more trustworthy than the sus lived experiences of the guys in the sub. The post I wrote here about the effect of purity culture on male sexual shame that's sitting at about 15K notes was based on a 10K word post I wrote for Reddit that was deleted because "I didn't cite any sources to prove that there is a link between purity culture and male sexual shame, or that my experience was anything more than anecdotal". I get comments deleted on a regular basis, and after paragraphs of protesting in modmail that my comments are both fully in line with feminism and not against the rules, the mods have just finally told me that the rules don't actually drive their actions as a team. They delete anything they feel leads the conversation in a direction they personally feel is unproductive. The rule cited at the time of deletion is really just the broad category of why they decided to hit the button that says nobody is allowed to read what I wrote.
The issue is kind of twofold. First of all, progressive men do not trust other men. A good dude knows that he, individually, is a good person, but literally any other man external to him is on thin ice. Do you really want to tie your wagon to that guy? Do you trust him, really? How do you tell the difference between a guy criticizing an article because it's factually incorrect and criticising it because a woman wrote it? Probably best to play it safe and delete it. Weight of the odds, he's probably a misogynist, right? This is the internet.
And thats the other half of it. If you view yourself as part of the leadership of The Good Guys, and you're getting hatemail from incels and facists all day, you get to the point where most of the time people challenge your authority it's because they're a terrible person. It is very, very easy to get to the point where someone challenging you is seen as evidence that they are a bad person. And now someone is challenging you (and therefore bad), in an environment where you are in charge, and you have a "make your opponent disappear" button.
I know. A Reddit mod was rude to me and now I'm butthurt. It's petty and stupid. I'm just feeling like there's nowhere else to really go, and I'm pretty despondent that literally every space I've seen that even looks like it might be for progressive men has the same deeply hierarchical structure and constant status-oriented squabbling as patriarchal spaces.
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thatfandomslut · 2 months
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Fighting For You
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Regina George x Reader
Word Count: 1k
Trigger Warnings: reader was in the Burn Book, arguing, make outs
Request:
Valentine's / Followers Celebration; Regina George w/ quote 4 and piece of chocolate 7. Or: “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” w/ falling in love
Valentine's / Follower's Celebration requests are closed.
Regina lay in the hospital bed wanting desperately to get up. She couldn't believe that she forgot to take out the page of the Burn Book about (Y/n). While she knew she was in the wrong, it was only made worse when she realized how distinct (Y/n)'s handwriting was when she held the page up to Regina with her eyes filled with tears. '(Y/n) (L/n), even more weird and gay than Janis Imi'ike.' While she felt the insult was tamer than the others, she still knew the gravity it held (Y/n). Hurting (Y/n) felt worse than getting hit by a bus, and Regina now knew both from experience.
With a groan, she reached over to find her phone on the side table, wincing when she stretched too far. When her fingers finally caught the sides of the phone, she drew it closer and held her phone up to where she could see it. Still nothing. (Y/n) hasn't responded to any of her calls or Regina's numerous messages. She was beginning to feel desperate for (Y/n)'s attention. This was something she wasn't used to feeling as she typically didn't have to beg for others to notice her. However, (Y/n) was proving harder and harder to get in touch with. So, it resulted in her finally giving in and calling the last person she thought she'd ever call, Janis Imi'ike.
It rang a few times, and Regina was about to just end the call when she heard a confused 'hello' on the other end. "Janis, perfect," she said, smirking to herself feeling like she finally found an in. "Is there any way you can get me in touch with (Y/n)? She's been ignoring all of my phone calls, and I just want to talk to her." The sooner the better. Regina was due for another dosage of her medicine, and her medication made her incredibly loopy.
There was an annoyed sigh from the other end. Regina gave a side-eye to her phone, despite Janis not even being able to see her. "Regina, first, why do you still have my number? We haven't talked since eighth grade." She stated over the phone, hoping Regina understood how strange it was to receive this call. At the same time, there was a bit of sympathy in her voice. "As for, (Y/n), whatever you wrote about her in the book, and yes, we know you had a part in it, really hurt (Y/n). I'll talk to her, but there that's all I can do. And, I can't make any promises that she'll want to talk to you." Janis said before hanging up, leaving Regina a bit more deflated.
She knew that Janis still might not be able to get (Y/n) to call. Regina also completely understood why (Y/n) was so upset. If it was the other way around, Regina would be plotting her revenge. She knew that (Y/n) deserved her space and that she couldn't force her way in, but she couldn't lose her. The only person that seemed to be inflicting any positive change in Regina was (Y/n). Now, there was a chance she might've ruined it forever, and that absolutely killed her. When the doctors came in to give her the medication, she sighed and decided to try and sleep.
When Regina woke up, she wasn't expecting (Y/n) to be seated beside her chair. She almost thought that she imagined the girl as she flipped through her chapter book. Her vision was still too bleary to see what the book was exactly. But a smile crept on her face as she looked over (Y/n) in a sleepy haze. "You came," she said, her words slurring slightly. It was a tell-tell sign that she was drugged up on medicine. (Y/n) looked up in surprise before a small smile appeared on her lips. Regina could barely see it but she recognized the small upturn of (Y/n)'s lips anywhere. "I thought you weren't gonna come," Regina spoke, peering up at the girl.
In an attempt to sit up, she smiled wide. "I wasn't planning on coming." (Y/n)'s words almost sobered Regina up instantly. There was a look of thought on (Y/n)'s face. Regina always knew when she was thinking because her brows would furrow and she would look down to whatever was at her feet. "Look, what you did was mean, but I want to forgive you. It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” (Y/n) told her with a sheepish smile playing on her lips.
Regina swore that it was misty in the room all of a sudden. Her normally icy blue eyes were mellow and kind. "Okay, yeah, we'll work on it together." She said, holding out her hand. (Y/n) took it carefully, wondering if Regina would even remember this later. She wanted to say it when Regina was sober, but her thoughts were finally in one place, and the words spilled out naturally. Regina played with (Y/n)'s fingers as she danced in and out of sleep with (Y/n) in the room. While the air between them was still tense, there was a new calm that settled over the room. Regina felt more safe and comfortable with (Y/n) by her side. It almost made her forget about the corrective neck collar around her throat.
The two were fully aware forgiveness wasn't going to come overnight, nor would it be awarded just because Regina was in an accident. The two would need to work together, and when Regina felt better, there was bound to be a long discussion on the events. But, for now, (Y/n) decided it was okay to provide some temporary forgiveness as she allowed Regina to clutch her hand. The steady sound of the heart monitor beeping let (Y/n) know Regina was still there, and she fell into the same state of peace Regina was in.
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bedoballoons · 3 months
Note
GENSHIN BOYS WITH A FEM!THIN/UNDERWEIGHT READER???? ive always been rlly thin, so it’s not eating disorder related just a scrawny fem!reader
OOOOOO OKIE!! I've always been thicker myself so I hope I wrote this well! Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy the characters I picked!!
─⊰💕𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤💕⊰─
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{༻~Scrawny and cute~༺}
CW: Fem! Reader described as being very thin!, fluffy and sweet!
A/n: First time writing Gaming!! EEE so excited!! Hope I did him justice!!
(Includes: Lyney, Gaming, and Venti!)
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𑁍༄Lyney:
You tried to stay perfectly still as Lynette measured you...how had you gotten in this position? You weren't really sure, all you knew was that Lyney was special ordering you a outfit for his next show and he'd asked his sister to measure you, only she seemed a little perplexed with the results. "You're eating right? You make sure to have three meals a day? Maybe even some snacks?"
You raised a eyebrow at her, "Yes of course. Why do you ask?"
She paused for a second, her features not giving any hint to what she was feeling, "Your measurements are just very small, for a second I was worried you might need to eat more."
"Nope, I was actually worried about that at first as well, but I always make food and she eats it. She's just naturally thin, which is exactly why I'm thinking you'll be perfect for the trick I have in mind...if that's alright of course?"
You and Lynette turned your attention to Lyney as he walked up to you, his eyes sparkling with inspiration as you contemplated his request. "Hmm do I get a kiss after the show?"
"As if you wouldn't mon amour~"
𑁍༄Gaming:
"Woah here let me get that for ya!"
"Watch your step, don't want you to fall!"
"Get to safety I'll take care of them!"
You'd heard them a few to many times lately, you knew Gaming was only looking out for you, he was a caring guy and he truly just wanted to make sure you were okay all the time...even if he was being a little to...over protective. Yes you were a bit scrawnier than he was...his claymore probably weighed more then you did, but that didn't mean he had to do everything for you..., "Hey Gaming? You know you don't have to do all that stuff for me right? I can do it just fine I swea-"
"Oh I have no doubts you could, I just figured when I'm with you, you shouldn't have to. Hmm how do I put this...you're one of the most precious things to me, so I want to take care of you." He scratched the back of his neck, a blush creeping onto his cheeks, "Maybe I was over doing it though...sorry. Promise i'll remember that for next time, for now lets enjoy some dim sum!"
𑁍༄Venti:
Venti wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and rested his chin on your shoulder, watching as ran your fingers over the details engraved in his lyre. He'd been teaching you how to play little by little everyday and now you could almost strum a whole song...but it still just didn't sound as good as when he played it, "Venti do you think one day my music will induce feelings like yours does? I want to play you a melody that leaves you feeling calm and happy, just like you do to me."
He smiled softly and kissed your cheek, his embrace growing slightly tighter around your slim waist, "I think one day you will make music that leaves everyone feeling calm and free, you have talent and a beauty even crystal flies would be jealous of."
You felt your cheeks heat up at his words and butterflies fill your stomach...one day. One day you'd play him a tune that explained every feeling just right and then when he held you tightly after, chuckling happily and making a joke about how he hopes he doesn't break you with his hugs...you'd tell him just how much you loved him and it would be the most perfect of days.
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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧
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iamcalmdammit · 1 year
Text
Sleepless night || [Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader]
note: this was supposed to be something completely different but then simon turned into a lovesick puppy somehow. what do you think?
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Simon could only hear the sound of an explosion nearby and see the smoke from where he was, but Soap was close, he reported it was the same building you were in. His heart was racing, his thoughts wandering a little too far as he thought about the worst case scenario.
"Echo 3-7, come in," There was no response. "Echo 3-7, do you copy?" He forced himself to sound calm, but in reality he was everything but calm. He was losing his mind, getting into a thought spiral he was afraid he wouldn't be able to escape until you finally said something. "Y/N, please, say something," he tried again, this time sounding desperate.
"Lt., I have a visual on her, she seems to be okay," came Soap's voice through his earpiece.
"Are you sure it's her?"
"Positive. From here it seems like she's trying to use her radio."
Right, it must be it, it just doesn't work properly after you being so close to the explosion. Maybe you didn't even hear him calling out for you. "Must be the result of the blast," he noted eventually.
"Probably. I'm on my way there." Some time passed in silence which made him think Soap didn't feel like chatting this time around. But he was wrong as the sergeant broke the silence not a whole five minutes later. "So her real name is Y/N?"
After letting out a long sigh, Simon closed his eyes. "Yes," he replied, knowing well enough what was about to come.
"Why did she tell you?"
"She had her reasons."
"You two are close, aren't you?"
"Not anymore."
"I bet she has seen you without the mask," Soap said and it was clear through his voice that he was smiling to himself.
"She has."
"You were dating, weren't you?"
Okay, this was getting out of hand. "Don't push your luck, sergeant," Simon warned him.
"Okay, fine, I'll stop, sir."
"Thank you. What's your status?"
"Almost there. No sight of the attackers."
Good. At least you weren't in danger now. He could only hope you had no injuries of any kind, like a nasty internal bleeding you didn't notice due to the spike in your adrenaline level. He couldn't lose you, not now and not like this.
There were so many things he wanted to say after what had happened between you. He fucked up big time and it was by now crystal clear to him that you had to talk about your relationship. You had to fix it. He had to fix it.
"She's fine, Lt., only has a couple of bruises and cuts," Soap's voice came through the earpiece again. "Her radio is dead, we'll stay together from now on."
"Copy. I'll get the car and pick you up. Stay where you are."
"Understood."
The car ride back to the team's temporary base passed in complete silence. You didn't say a word, mostly focused on the city around you instead, while Soap was clearly torn between asking a bunch of questions from the two of you and keeping silent as it was none of his business. In the end he kept his eyes on your environment, making sure no one was following you.
You didn't talk to him. Aside from a short thanks back when you had gotten into the car in front of the building, you said absolutely nothing. He didn't mind as having a conversation in front of the others now would have been torture. It was hard to control his emotions and since you didn't want the rest of the team to find out about your history, it was best to keep quiet for now.
Late at night, around two or three in the morning, Simon woke up. He was staring at the ceiling for a while, thinking about you. Again. But this time he had enough. He couldn't wait any longer. So he quietly stood up and walked over to where you were sleeping.
"Hey, Y/N, wake up," he said, gently putting a hand on your shoulder.
"Why?" you asked groggily.
"Let's talk."
"Now? What time is it anyway?"
"Late, but it can't wait."
"All right."
The pair of you walked to a room far from the others and he quickly put his hands on your shoulders as he looked you in the eye. "You sure you're okay?" he asked worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"I'm glad to hear that." Biting on his lower lip under the mask, he thought about how to proceed. It was a dangerous conversation that could go wrong any second. "After seeing the place explode I thought I'd lost you," Simon admitted after some thinking.
You let out a short laugh upon hearing this. "It's not that easy to get rid of me."
"That I know."
Silence fell between you and he could see you were struggling to figure out what to say. "Is this why you woke me up?" you asked in the end.
"No, I actually wanted to tell you something," he quickly replied before gulping. "I fucked up, I know that now."
"Took you long enough."
You were right, he couldn't argue with this statement. "Every time I saw you with Alex, knowing how much he knows about you--the real you," he began uncertainly but didn't finish the sentence just yet. After inhaling and exhaling, he eventually said, "It was too much and I definitely misread the situation."
"And?" you asked expectantly.
"You're just friends, more like siblings. I get it, I have no reason to be jealous."
"Thank you. What changed your mind?"
"Time," he said. "I thought a lot about what went wrong after we broke up. Also… Yeah, it probably helped that Alex came to talk to me about it. He told me how badly I hurt your feelings."
Letting out a groan, you put a hand on the back of your neck. "I'll have to talk to him about boundaries," you said quietly.
"He was just worried about you."
A few months ago he wouldn't have thought of protecting Alex, but here he was, trying to do it. He was important to you and Simon didn't want to stand between the two of you. He had to get over his stupid jealousy.
"You know, I was wondering if we could start again," he spoke up again. "I miss you. I never thought I would ever say something like this, but I can't sleep without you next to me. I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't focus. I can't live like that."
"I know the feeling," you noted quietly. "You left me, Simon. You said things that really hurt me. I spent days blaming myself, that maybe you're right, that maybe I let him too close."
Shaking his head, he quickly stepped closer to put a hand on the side of your neck, caressing your jawline with his gloved thumb. "You need a friend you can talk to about the things you do on the field, I didn't get that back then, but I get it now," he explained with a smile you couldn't see now.
Smiling yourself, you reached out and took off his mask. "You're lucky you're cute," you told him.
"You think I'm cute?" You nodded. "Marry me," he blurted out.
"What?"
Yeah, what? But as he thought about it, it wasn't a joke or anything. "I'm serious," he told you. "Let's get married."
Shaking your head, you stood on your toes to kiss him gently. "We barely agreed to give our relationship another shot, I think it's too soon," you said with your hands on his chest.
"Come on, in our line of work we shouldn't wait with things like this. Let's celebrate that we found someone who can understand why we do what we do, someone who wouldn't judge the other for the things they do on the field," he tried.
"How long have you been thinking about this?" you asked with your head tilted to the side.
"For a couple of hours, I guess." You laughed and put his mask back on. "Hey, I know it's not that long, but I'm serious. Think about it. Please." Before you could say anything, you both turned to the door when you heard footsteps. "Not a word!" Simon warned him.
Soap opened his mouth, but in the end decided to put up his hands and go back to the others without saying anything.
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ssahotchnerr · 11 months
Note
aaron being the softest most domestic man when he sees you’re in pain ?? yes please he coddles you and becomes your personal dr.
favors
cw; mild injury descriptions, fluff and concerned aaron <3
"here."
aaron stood over you from your seated position on the couch, placing an icepack on your head gently.
"you have to-"
"keep ice on it, i know." you immediately wince at the contact, despite how faint it was, before you placed your hand overtop his, taking over. he sat down besides you, your minor protest resulting in a hint of panic to flash through his eyes.
you had been deemed clear of a concussion from the paramedic, or anything serious for that matter, but the diagnosis didn't prevent your head from an inevitable pounding. not only that, the jet seemed stuffier than usual on the way home; the added pressure making your head feel like it was moments away from exploding.
"the ibuprofen should kick in soon." aaron assured. "that'll help."
you began to nod, but frazzled words came rushing out of aaron's mouth.
"hey hey hey don't. don't move your head. i don't want you jostling around too much."
"i'm not." you were whinier than you anticipated, closing your eyes. if only the throbbing would stop. "believe me, that's the last thing i want to do."
aaron exhaled a breath through his nose, the concern on his face still not faltering. his jaw was tense, his eyes were troubled- to be fair, they had been for the past few hours. he refused to acknowledge anything that wasn't you, continuously scanning for any signs of your injury worsening.
"why couldn't you have let morgan take the brunt of the impact, like normal." aaron joked lightly, wanting to reach out to stroke your cheek, or brush his fingers through your hair. just something, anything. but to prevent inflicting any more potential harm, his hands remained strictly on his lap.
he hated seeing you in pain.
"thought i'd do him a favor for once." your eyes were squinted as you peered at him. while your uncomfortableness was clear, your expression was still adorable in a way that made aaron's heart melt.
"you're very thoughtful." he chuckled softly, his lips tugging into a small, pitiful smile.
you huffed in agreement before beginning to readjust yourself, which caused aaron to react, as if he were more than ready to take on some dangerous force. he moved so quickly it was almost humorous.
"relax, i just wanna get comfortable." you mumbled, accompanied by a faint laugh.
"take it easy." one of his large hands found your back. "and if that's the case, bed is a much better option."
"but you're comfier." you shrugged, slowly positioning yourself where you could lay your head on his lap, on the opposite side of your wound, of course.
again, aaron told ahold of the ice pack, holding it in place. there was no way he could deny you anything you wanted. "alright sweetheart. get some rest."
"and if you wake me up for a concussion check, i swear."
aaron laughed softly, already aware he wasn't going to refrain from his original plan, concussion or not. "no promises there."
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hitomisuzuya · 7 months
Text
Scaramouche x fem!reader. Aftercare. Fluff. Not smut but tagged as such for a few sentences here and there. Soft Scara
@notyashiro128 requested some Scaramouche aftercare from me via my inbox awhile ago. Bear with me, everyone. I am running on about 3 hours of sleep while I write this. I think quite a few of you guys wanted me to write something like this.
Scaramouche is quite unforgiving in bed. He really lays into you. He is a very aggressively passionate man. And the results would very often show themselves on your body.
However, don't think there weren't those nights where sex with him was soft. You always got such a unique balance between rough sex and soft sex with him.
His aftercare is surprisingly quite tender. This man will go to the moon and back taking care of you.
He will offer to run you a warm bath with salts, soothing oils, and scented bubbles. He was a fan of lavender. Plus, the scent would help you sleep. It why he primarily liked to use it. (Shhh, sometimes it helps him sleep to.)
He would get in the tub with you, put his arms around you from behind and hold you against his chest. He would rub the soothing compounds in the essential oils the heat of the bath water released into your sore muscles.
His kisses would be soft, and doting, his tongue soothing against any inflamed skin from his bite marks. More often than not, it would led to soft, equally as passionate sex. You would be trembling almost breathless in his lap.
Scaramouche is something of a king of massages. I mean, look at his beautiful, gorgeous hands and those drool worthy fingers. You would be on your stomach, pillows propped around you carefully positioned by him. His fingers would knead into your sore muscles. You would melt like butter, sighing in relief as he tended to your sore muscles. Let's just say you would be drooling, practically asleep when he was finished. He was very thorough with his massages.
If you wanted something to eat or drink, he got it for you. It didn't matter what it was, even if he had to go out to get it. And he always came back with some kind of treat, like chocolate. He always grumbled about that, though.
One of his favorite things to do while he waited for you to fall asleep (he always made sure you fell asleep first<3) was to run his fingers tenderly over the bruises and bite marks he'd made. You are a beautiful canvas to be decorated by paints of passion by him.
This man is and always be a cuddler. A clingy little octopus in fact. Prefers to generally be the big spoon. It makes him feel like he is protecting you while you were in a vulnerable state position like sleep. Basically, Fort Knox level protection.
If you wanted to talk, Scaramouche would talk about anything, even if he said he thought the topic was stupid. Please talk to this boy, he loves the sound of your voice. He will indulge you on any topic, even if it was something simple as you seeing a cat today.
He had a feeling he was going to hear the words, "Hunny, can we?" followed by the words cat and keep him soon. And he would relent because you called him Hunny.
Count on Scaramouche stroking your hair if you are resting your head against his chest. It may look like an absentminded gesture while you talked, but it was something enjoyed doing. He loved to hear the soft, content sigh from you as you curled into him more.
Essentially, you are the center of this man's world. He is rude, arrogant, egotistical, self centered, obnoxious. An experience to deal with. And Scaramouche knows this. But damn it, he loves you. And he more than shows it.
His aftercare is further extended into the next morning. If he had to get out of bed before you, and leave your side before you woke up (which he HATED probably more than sweet things), he would leave a little note next to you. Usually, it was a song lyric or maybe a line from a poem that reminded him of you.
You kept every one of them.
Before you fall asleep, you are guaranteed hear him say, "I love you," as he kissed the top of your head.
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bigassmoonchild · 8 months
Text
Lost and Found
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley
Word Count: 2.6k
Summary: The results came back, the pregnancy results. You fear losing Simon, even after your talk and he holds you close. Things slowly go back to normal, but by god was Simon starting to smell a little too good. And the scent was coming from his door.
Content Tags: Angst, Almost Pregnancy Loss, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Simon Communicating, DROPPING THE L WORD (leprosy), Simon likes compound drama, Mentions of Masturbation, Use of Pet-Names, Teasing, No Use of Y/N, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha! Ghost
A/N: I'm working one day a week because they only need me one day a week. I might quit, ngl. Anyways, I'm getting better! Not as sick! I'm going to figure out at better way for people to navigate the maple syrup series, but you know the drill. Content under the cut and asks are open!
Part 1 | Previous, Next | Headcannons, Masterlist
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The next few days felt incredibly slow. You'd worked on a bit of paperwork before heading back to your rooms and sitting in your nest, going through the clothes you were intending to give back to Simon because the scent was growing stale. As you were folding one of the last hoodies, a knock on your door made you pause.
Opening it, you saw a soldier standing outside. He gave you a salute before looking down and reading off of the paper he was holding.
"Your presence is required in room 62B. Please be presentable and there within the half hour," he handed you the paper and marched away. Glancing at it, they were requesting you for more questioning based on the hearing you'd been part of.
Shit.
You stood and dug through the wardrobe you had, pulling out a few of your better shirts and pants. At this point, you didn't really care what you wore. So long as it wasn't dirty and didn't have any rips or holes.
Reading the door numbers down to 62B, you took a deep breath before entering, nodding at the few people who were sitting, glancing past Price. You sat, folding your hands on your lap as the people across the table looked at you. They shifted, glancing from the door to you for a few minutes.
"We're just waiting for Riley, you needn't be so stiff, Doctor," you looked away from them, finding Prices eye before looking the other way. You just wanted to get this over with, they hadn't even notified you about your test, so the fact that they only told them about it was weird.
The door opened, and all you could smell was Simon. Leather and tobacco, hints of the gunpowder used on base came through. It smelled muskier, though, and as much as you could smell it wasn't sweat. Not like normal.
He sat beside you, not looking in your direction. The people in front of you shifted the papers about on the table, looking between each other. They didn't say anything for a few minutes.
"The pregnancy test came back," you heard Simon scoff beside you, a quiet 'no shit' coming from him. You rolled your own eyes, glancing down to the carpet under you. It was old, probably older than you.
The man cleared his throat. "It came back positive, at least at first," you looked up, brows furrowing. "After a few minutes, though, it turned negative. We did a few more tests and they eventually came back negative. Conclusively," you closed your eyes, head tilting back.
Why were you feeling so disappointed? Were you actually somewhat excited about having a pup, even if Simon didn't want it?
"Although, they did find some hormones synchronous with what is called a 'false pregnancy'," they explained, reading off of the sheet they had.
You glanced up, watching as they tried to find a way to explain it. "My body had hormones, probably from a fertilized egg that never attached properly, and it left my hormones thinking I was pregnant. They never cleared my body, so my scent and body was changing to prep for the pup," you explained, playing with your fingers.
So close, and yet you were so far from having a pup. You could almost smell distress on Simons scent, but you didn't want to go into the specifics. You couldn't think of his normal scent, not with how deep in your head you'd become.
You could faintly hear them explaining the outcomes, faintly heard a few 'probable cause for the attack' and a few other 'nothing is being pressed,' and finally you came to.
"We're considering this almost exactly the same as if the Omega was actually pregnant," they explained. "So you're getting off on just about the same as a slap on the wrist, but don't think we won't add this to your file," and you stood, turning and walking out.
There was nothing you'd realized you wanted more. A family. A pup to care for and watch grow and eventually maybe, just maybe, add more to your little family.
But no, you didn't have the luxury of that. No, you weren't allowed to have your family, your Alpha had been so mad at you and possibly didn't want you sometimes.
Alpha doesn't want a broken Omega.
You had to fight the tears you could feel building, jaw locking in place as you found yourself moving to your room. A few more halls, one or two more turns and you'd be able to curl up in your nest and hope to God that your Alpha would still want you.
As you went to close your room door, something stopped it from closing. You turned to figure it out, slightly pissed off that it happened. Simon.
"I'm sorry," you could feel tears starting to run out of your eyes, felt him pulling you into his chest and sobs tearing out of your chest. "I'm so sorry," you were muffled by his chest, hands grasping at his shirt and holding tight. You could faintly hear the door close, your legs moving with him as he dropped you back into your nest.
Simon pulled you into his chest, hands running along your back. Your hands never left his chest and you could hear him murmuring into your hair.
"S'alright, lovie, s'alright," he whispered, arms wrapping around your back to pull you in as close as he could. It felt like everything was back to normal but nothing was. Everything was changed but nothing was at the same time.
For what felt like hours, you laid there, grasping at Simon to stay where you were. He rubbed at your back and chuffed into your ear, your tears slowing and sobs breaking into hiccups, breathing slowing as you laid there.
His hands stopped, albeit slowly, before pulling you back to look at him.
"Y'alright?" He asked this time, wiping your face dry. You nodded, then shook your head before dropping it back onto his chest.
"'m sorry, Simon," you whispered, his hand finding your back and resting there. "Failed you," you added finally. He hummed in confusing, head lifting to look down at you.
You swallowed, closing your eyes. "Lost the pup," he shook his head, squeezing you a little. He ran his hand down your arm, rubbing it slowly.
"Didn't lose anything, lovie," he whispered. "Your body was just confused, it's not your fault," you wanted to argue with him, wanted to tell him he was crazy. You lost the pup, and he should get rid of you.
He kept murmuring loving words into your ears, telling you how good of an Omega you were, how much he cared about you. How much he adored that you were his and didn't want to leave.
"Love you, y'know that?" He whispered, hours having passed since the two of you found yourselves inside your nest. He slid you into his hoodie within the first hour, let you lay there and inhale his scent.
You hummed, fighting sleep. It hadn't hit you what he'd said, not yet at least.
"Love y'too," you whispered into his neck, breathing slowing as you were falling asleep. He loved you, Alpha loves you, your head snapped up. "Huh?" Simon barked out a short laugh, pulling his mask from his face as he looked at you.
"Y'didn't hear me?" You blinked slowly at him, smile slowly spreading on your face. His voice grew softer, eyes drifting away from you. He seemed almost, nervous. "Y'forgive me?" He whispered, hands tightening on you.
You nodded, dropping your head on him. "Thought you would've thought of me as a bad Omega," you whispered. "Thought I'd lost you after I said I might be pregnant, then again when they told us I wasn't," he shook his head.
He gave a humorless laugh. "Never lost me," he said. "'m not good at emotions," he started, looking down at you briefly. "Never was, never will be. I want to try, though, try and make sure you never feel like that again," he spoke into the side of your head, pressing his lips against your head.
You swallowed thickly.
"Thought I lost everything," you whispered into his neck, closing your eyes.
You glanced at your new squad, looking them over.
"If you don't want to be led by an Omega, leave. Get out, I don't want to see your face," you said, glancing amongst them. "If you don't like that I'm leading you, get the hell out. I don't want to see you, if you're going to cause problems, get out," you said.
No one moved, looking down at their boots and away from you. Nobody said anything, it all remained quiet. You smiled, arms crossed as you watched them stand still.
You crossed your arms, glancing amongst them. "The only problem I've ever encountered is you guys not understanding what it means to be a soldier. Combat medic, combat comes first," you told them. "Which means you're a soldier first,"
You sighed deeply, rubbing the migraine out of your temples. They were the worst group you'd ever had. They seemed to not have any knowledge on anything medical, and even less knowledge about combat awareness.
"Bad day?" Simon asked, placing a tray of food in front of you and putting his own on the side of your desk closest to him. You groaned at him, dropping your head down.
You glanced up, watching him pull the mask off of his face and place it next to his food, scooping some of it into his mouth. You snorted softly, watching him.
His brows raised in questioning. "We went from me absolutely despising you just a few days ago to you eating in my office," you laughed softly. "Anyways, I have the worst squad ever," you groaned and he paused his eating.
"They saying things?" He said, moving to stand and you hushed him, hands gesturing for him to sit back down.
In the few days since you two had been cleared back to work, he had made it a habit to bring you at least two meals during your shift. Usually lunch and dinner, which he had at the same time as you, quite thankfully.
You'd grown to begin telling him tales of what happened, whatever drama you could find that happened throughout the day. Oh my god, Simon, apparently Amanda now has an Alpha? And he works on another force, I think something air, you told him the first night.
Surprisingly, he was really interested in what was happening around base. Today, though, he appeared a little more out of it. He seemed slightly off, watching you closer and staring down Alphas who walked by you when he just so happened to be near.
It was weird, but you hadn't put too much thought into it. You were finally back to a normal, something the two of you were putting together. Maybe it was just his new normal, but you weren't going to ask questions.
He stayed quiet, giving you a few murmurs of agreement or interest at all of the new things you'd discovered. Once the two of you finished, instead of sitting with you until you were finished to walk with you back to your room he grabbed your trays and walked out, giving you a short murmur about needing to workout or something.
It left you a little confused, but you weren't going to mention it. You knew this took up a lot of his own time, and you knew that he would want to spend some time on his own to relax.
You felt the same way, but something was off and you could tell. By the time you finished putting away the last paper into its file, it was nearing 10 at night. You walked to your room, bag in hand as you watched the door numbers slowly shrink to your room number.
As you entered it, you'd been expecting to see Simon there, but maybe tonight he just wanted to relax in his own room and take some time to chill out. You understood, and found yourself slowly going through the motions of your nightly routine, some part of you hoping he would walk in right before you finished this part. Then it became this part, then the next.
Eventually, you were curled in your bed, lights all out while listening for movements outside. You found yourself waking up the next morning, groaning as you turned off your alarm clock. Simon never came to your room, but that was okay you told yourself.
It was fine, because everyone needed a moment to themselves here and there. So you began your routine, getting something small to eat as you walked through the clinic, checking on people who had come in overnight to be treated for something.
You ran your training, having the squad work on taking care of those who were harmed and trying to tourniquet them.
"I'm bleeding out, help me! Aaah! It hurts so much, I'm writhing in pain!" Soap was all too pleased to help you with this. Gaz was helping as well, but had stopped his acting to roll on the ground laughing at him. It seemed to work just as well as Johnny's screaming and writhing.
Shutting your eyes tight, you had to hold yourself silent to keep from laughing too hard or distracting everyone. Even as your back was turned, you could hear little squeals coming from Johnny, but as you opened your eyes you saw Ghost watching from a distance.
Gesturing him over, he shook his head and turned back to his own training group, leaning over to shout at someone. You sighed, turning around to watch the group once more.
"Steph, no, that tourniquet is way too tight, I can see it from here. You're cutting the blood flow off, not his leg,"
At lunch you grew a little worried when Simon didn't show up. He had been making sure to bring you food (and letting you watch him eat) every lunch and dinner. Sometimes it was breakfast instead of lunch, but he hadn't come during breakfast.
It took you a few moments before you decided to try and find him, but everyone you spoke to had turned away from you, telling you that it was in your better interest to leave him alone. When you found Gaz again, you pulled him to the side.
"What's up with S- Ghost?" You asked and he looked away, grimacing a little. "Go on, tell me. I'm his mate, it's not like he's doing something that would kill me," you said, brows furrowing as he didn't say anything.
You gestured for him to tell you. "He's been really violent today. Look outside, there's more people running than usual, and his temper is getting the better of him," he whispered, looking around like Simon would jump out of nowhere.
At dinner, when Simon didn't show up you found yourself walking the compound to look for him. To find out where he'd gone, or what was wrong. He wasn't anywhere you'd expected him to be, not the gym or field.
Walking to his room, it was a few halls before when the scent hit you hard. Leather and tobacco, some hints of the gunpowder used on base. You walked a little closer, musky tangs of something just entirely Simon breaking through.
Standing outside of his door, you stared at it. Hearing long groans and whines, huffs of your name. Trying the door, it was locked and everything in the room paused.
A bang on the door made you jump back before leaning in. "Simon?" You whispered, trying the doorknob again. He whined at the sound of his name coming from you, and you could hear nails on the door.
"Please," he whispered back, voice muffled by the door. You could hear another bang on the door and you gave a little laugh.
"Y'gotta unlock the door first, Alpha," a growl came from behind the door.
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normal-internet-user · 5 months
Text
BEING ADOPTED INTO THE KENT FAMILY WOULD INCLUDE...
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Showing up at the Kent family farm nervous as all hell.
Your new parents did their best to make you comfortable and at ease on the rather long drive to your new home,
But nerves were natural.
And such was evident at your rather quiet approach.
You didn't really feel like chatting, even if your new parents seemed nice enough.
It was... weird.
You went from living in city suburbs with couples looking to make themselves look better by adopting a 'troubled teen' to being surrounded by corn in the middle of nowhere Kansas.
You had two new brothers appearently. According to Lois.
Jon and Kon.
Funny.
When you'd met Clark he seemed like he was deliberatly trying to make himself smaller and less threatening.
Which was kinda funny because of how comically jacked he was for a reporter.
Your first night wasn't too overwhelming.
Your new family gave you time to settle in, and you even had your own room which was super nice.
It was like a complete blank slate, completely your own to make cozy and comfy.
You settled in surprisingly quickly, Jon was definitly a big help in putting you at ease.
He took it upon himself to show you how to do the chores.
Weeding the garden, feeding the animals, and changing their hay, it was a great way to get to know your little brother.
He also roped you into staying up a little later to play video games in his room.
You were almost positive Clark and Lois knew, and just didn't say anything.
Kon was like the cool brother that showed up to be your partner in crime then dipped.
He didn't live on the farm, he had told you he was roommates with afew of his friends.
Like one of those early 2000's sitcoms.
Clark did his absolute best to be the father figure you'd never actually had.
He helped with your schoolwork, encouraged your hobbies and was overjoyed to give you advice when you asked.
For such a big guy, it was certainly decieving.
He was like tne sweetest person you'd ever met, and even taught you how to do things like crochet and bake.
Lois is a powerhouse of a mother.
If you have any problems in school she's on it before it can become an issue.
Bullying? Dealt with.
Bad grades? What's the problem, sweety?
And as you started to get more... comfortable in your new home, you noticed that there were some odd things about your new family.
Regular everyday things resulted in broken items.
Wether it was Clark breaking a glass,
Jon breaking the handle on the barns sliding door,
Even Kon accidentally broke the faucet when he visited.
Speaking of Kon.
He sure visits alot for someone who lives out of state.
Huh.
He must be spending a whole lot on plane tickets.
And the whole family was weirdly aware of like- everything.
The only way you could logically explain it was that it's because Lois and Clark are reporters?
But, like, that also doesn't make sense?
How did Clark know you were in the kitchen at like 2am? His and Lois' room was upstairs all the way down the hall.
No way he heard you.
Not to mention the weird amount of "work calls" he had to run off to.
And Jon had a strange amount of school field trips.
Something was up with your new family.
And maybe it was time to delve into the family buisness.
Reporters uncovered secrets afterall.
And this family had a lot of them.
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@zeep-wuz-here I did the thing... (>_<)
Reader is gonna do some snooping uh-huh. Mini reporter in the making digging up the ✨️secrets✨️
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narcissistshandler · 6 months
Note
Can you fo reader x JongGun🙏
Like after Daniel broke his arm, he comes to your apartment, you might worried, teasing him or being jealous, and everything happens after that...
𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗪𝗘?
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✧ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 gn! reader x park jong gun
✧ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 top!amab reader, bottom! gun, anal sex, masturbation (mentioned), jealous behavior, thoughts about hurting and drawing blood (in a romantic way), broken bones, and some sadism/masochism at the end
✧ 𝖠/𝖭 yeah, I didn't like the result of that (this has not been edited so please let me know if there is any mention/hint of the reader's gender)
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He was already there when you arrived, even if you didn't notice his presence, one with the shadows of the room. It was as if he purposefully sought to hide and leave you with the uncomfortable feeling that you weren't alone, that there were eyes following you, and that there was something out of place - even if you didn't know for sure what.
And when you flicked the finger on the switch and the room filled with light, you couldn't help but jump when saw him sitting on your bed, with an unusual smile on his face, the eyes darker than usual, and wearing only one of your shirts. There was a tension there that you only felt when you stepped towards him and saw the spark of amusement in the curve of his lips, the excited insanity.
The air seemed to grow thicker, even though you merely tried to engage him in shallow conversation. Which you already had enough experience with to know it was difficult. Gun was reserved, in the best of words. He came and went as he pleased, had what he wanted and then disappeared without even an explanation.
What were you? You asked yourself every damn day. Your circle was smaller than it seemed, you heard his name quite often and it wasn't uncommon to bump into him, he also had the keys to your house, but that didn't make what you had something serious.
You tried not to think about it as Gun kissed you - ravaged your mouth as if he was furious with you, or at the very least, very excited. He was eager today - pulling your clothes off, biting your neck, fighting the fabric of your pants to get to your dick as quickly as possible. He was also talkative, 'I prepared myself for you while I waited', 'I thought about you while I did it', he said, knowing exactly how to tease you and leave you wanting him. 'I came on your bed, on your sheets, on your pillow', and you can almost smell him in your room after those words leave his mouth.
And his ass really was prepared for you, dripping with lube on your bed and his hard dick forming a tent under the shirt he had stolen from your closet.
You felt like a crazy person, like an addict who couldn't fight the source of the addiction. Gun only had to spread his legs for you, and like an eager puppy, you lined yourself up with a shaking hand on the relaxed hole and sank inside, where you belonged. What are we? The question came back to you. What does all this make us? Because you knew it had been months, maybe years, since Gun had slept with anyone else, neither did you.
You grabbed Gun's hands, somehow wanting to force him to answer the question that didn't even come out of your mouth and tried to hold his arms up. You wanted to know if he felt the same way. "Urgh," Gun groaned, and easily fought against your power. The sound full of pain and discomfort sounded alien in his mouth and it completely captured your attention. Only then did you notice that Gun wasn't moving one of his arms, which was swollen and turning red.
Your movements began to slow down, until they almost stopped. "Don't you dare!" He grunted, legs immediately wrapping around your waist and heels digging into your ass.
"You’re hurt, you need to go to the hospital," you argued, not being able to help but worry, but Gun wasn’t having any of it. Even with one of his arms broken, he moved as nimbly as usual and he easily reversed your positions so that he was now sitting on top of you, your cock not even leaving the heat of his hole. "You're fucking insane!" you moaned at the show of strength. Gun looked damn erotic on top of you, riding you, even with one of his arms limp at his side, wrapped in the long sleeve of your shirt.
"As if you didn't already know that," he replied, the smile wide on his kiss-swollen lips. "I came here to fuck, not get medical advice, so shut up and let me work."
But you just couldn't shut up. "What- ah, happened?" You asked through clenched teeth as you watched Gun's long, firm legs sink into the mattress with each rise and fall, his dick hidden under the shirt forming a wet spot on the fabric.
Gun responded to you without haste, releasing disjointed sentences and words as he mounted you, firmly and quickly, successfully taking the breath away from both of you. “Charles Choi,” he said, and then “fight” and a “brat” that he repeated a few times and that you didn’t think much of until you noticed who it referred to – Daniel.
"Daniel broke your arm?" You repeated his words, your fingers digging into Gun's thighs in a failed attempt to slow him down so you could make sure you heard him right.
Gun's smile seemed to get even bigger, and for the first time, you hated seeing him smiling.
"Why? Jealous?" And only Gun would think anyone would be jealous of someone taking blood and breaking someone else's bones. But then wasn't that what you were feeling? Not anger at Daniel for hurting Gun, but jealousy. Jealousy that you wasn't the one to hurt him, leave your mark behind on Gun's body and that Daniel was the one to get Gun all hot and excited.
That strange, possessive part of your mind stirred - you almost wanted to draw blood from Gun at that moment.
"You’re a slut," you accused, not at all denying Gun’s statement. He chuckled and swiveled his hips in a sensual circle, the good hand resting on your stomach. He was teasing you, you realized.
Then the notion hit you, you didn't need to resort to such methods to mark him as yours, after all, only you were capable of having him like this, naked, in your bed, with hot cheeks and fucking himself on your dick. You had already left your mark implanted deep into his body where you doubted anyone else would ever be able to be.
Your feet dug into the mattress, hips jumping off the bed to slam against Gun's ass. The sound he made was downright obscene, what looked like tears glistening in the corners of his black eyes, the psychotic smile still there. He was yours, it was the first time you noticed. He had chosen to come to you, because no one else knew this slutty side of him, because no one else could feed that side, only you.
Gun fell willingly against your chest, moaning and trying to move back against you, hungry, looking for more of your cock, more of the aggression and pain. Pain. One of your hands rested on his back, keeping him lying on top of you and the other wandered, found Gun's long fingers and then closed around his wrist, tightly and then, you pulled his broken arm.
The scream that came from Gun's throat would forever be etched in your memory; his cock twitched and spilled, further soiling the shirt he was wearing.
At that moment, you knew what you two were, complete lunatics who would always find in each other exactly what they needed. There were no longer any doubts.
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