#and i cant afford to see a professional at this time so i can only scream into the void

[muted5ilence]

Do you wonder if the rising prices and shitty economic and political and societal and environmental stuff as a whole is kind of just to do

Erm

I dont know terms well enough, but…

Weaken everyone who can’t afford it so only the elite few survive selfishly?

If you are weak you will eventually die off

If you are weak you wouldn’t be able to fight back

But this is why a bundle of sticks is so strong compaeed to a single stick.

But they’re making sure that bundles cant form. And even if we could, they use growing technology and destroying those sticks from the inside out to ensure those bundles can be broken. Every time. Without fail.

The longer it goes on, one of two things happens. One day these twigs will finally piece themselves together, and be able to overpower the technology that breaks them repeatedly

Or they all die, rot in the ground, to be consumed by the fungi and such that take the decay to keep themselves and their interconnected web alive.

Like the whole deal with capitalism at this point (which is why I’ve liked other ideals a little more when its combined for the BETTER) is that you take advantage of others for your own gain. Be unique enough to be successful to survive, but be smart enough to abuse those that are not smart enough. Eventually it perpetuates a cycle of stupider and stupider people, weaker and weaker, more compliant and complacent. That’s what work has always been, afterall. Which is what school was meant to teach. It teaches you to be compliant, to obey, to work and toil away with your life for meaningless grades until you die. The teachers dont benefit much beyond their meager pay. Students dont benefit because the system actively DENIES what they need to learn to FUNCTION. The only beneficiaries are the ones above ALL of them. The government and corporate entities that feed off of those stupid drones. Teachers, like many workers, are NOT paid enough to actually care, and are stuck being unable to do anything. If they tried to change things or speak out or do anything that might be considered manipulating the kids to believe smth specific, anything to get people to care, they could get fired and lose their lifeline. So they’re stuck in complying in order to survive.

This should not be how a society functions EVER, but it’s the BARE BONES ENDLESS CYCLE. Wars, revolution, etc etc. Every dystopia has this. I am reminded of the promised neverland.

We shouldn’t have to feel like we need to fight back against oppressors. You always root for the underdog because that’s literally how it works in society anyways.

I’m getting mixed up in my train of thought, hard to focus, but my point still stands. Flowers blooming in antarctica had made me break down over life. I want to die but I know I can’t. I can’t kill myself or let myself die. I care too much, I think. I can’t really tell inside my head, but I think some part of me (could be survival instinct, could be smth else) is just too stubborn. I can’t NOT have hope for the future!!! I can’t!!

I can’t stop myself from hoping things will be okay in the end, which is the only reason I can’t die. Because I need to live to see better days again. Despite the objective fact that there may never be better days in all senses.

Society sucks because people are just… selfish, close-minded, and disrespectful? Like in general? All things that have likely been cultivated BY the whole capitalist system.

Politics sucks because it became capitalist. And considering the whole Palestine genocide, I am pretty sure that capitalism is just as bad if not worse than communism at this point. Could be fascism but like I said before, I’m not great with terms. But its colonialism, too. Politics sucks because it’s ran by the elderly usually, or by idiots. I stand by statements I’ve made that experts should be the ones in charge. People who have done the research, have the knowledge, who care about it actively and always, SHOULD BE THE ONES IN CHARGE OF THOSE THINGS.

It kinda bleeds into the whole mental health issues that happen, because you have people who aren’t professionals saying that people dont have any issues. Inherently, those people must have issues of their own. But they have to be out of touch or selfish or close minded (which ig is related to out of touch) BUT ESPECIALLY disrespectful to do such things. And the only ones who can actively make things RIGHT with the people who HAVE the problems, say it with me… ARE PROFESSIONALS!!

Professionals, being people who were interested in the topic, did the research, learned the skills and have the knowledge, and actively care.

You are not a professional if you do not care. Then it’s just a profession. You are simply a worker at that point.

We are led by idiots. Not professionals. Perhaps professional politicians. But that just means professionals at looking good and appealing to others. Professional actors. Actors should not get that seat of power. You cannot act your way out of your genuine beliefs and behaviors—or even lack thereof. The fate of society should NOT be determined by a popularity contest, but even in school that’s promoted!!

I stand by my belief. Professionals in the specific fields of study should be in charge, and not the ones who haven’t done the research or put in enough work (like they insist the newer generations should do). This is an idealized and general series of statements from someone who doesn’t have in-depth knowledge of language: Historians should probably be in office in the way that they could be advisors. They know what has happened, how it happened, how it affects things, and how it should be avoided. Economists should probably be the ones in charge of how the economy goes, even though I’m sure they work more like commentators. I think just in general that a whole advisory council should be made of professionals. And you need someone who knows how to listen and critically think, who cares about society as a whole, to run the country if we follow a similar structure. Traditional checks and balances are not working!!!

I was told by my U.S. History teacher, a male history teacher that I enjoyed for the time I had him (before covid hit): Normal people should be running this country. But they wouldn’t want to.

It’s so fucking true, too. But like… have a council. Of professionals. Professionals IMPLYING that they care. Not workers. Workers leads to compliance, complacency. To a damn salary.

Have people who actively research things and always want to learn and keep up with those specific things, be in charge of those things!! They know more! And it should be because they fucking CARE!

If you want this stupid structure to work, with a president, then a qualifier should NOT be age. Obviously boomers are fucking stupid anyways at this point because they’re out of touch, stuck in the past. You need an open-minded individual, who actually has a heart, that can make the right decisions! Especially in times of crisis.

Please. Let it be that people who are stronger than I am are able to fight for these things. Fight for the good causes.

I’m not mentally, physically, nor emotionally strong enough for this. I’ve been sheltered. I’m cursed with so many mental issues from trauma and abuse and likely the ways my brain wouldve been structured anyways. I could never progress at the fast pace that is expected. And I am not strong enough to fight like I wish I could.

I am simply a dreamer. Someone that has been left isolated for so long that I can only think. About nothing, about everything. And I wish I could lose hope, that I could kill myself, but I can’t. I’m a coward, always have been. I could never set myself free in rebellion to fight. I would get killed by someone sent to do so. And you would lose another human life. Insignificant only when you consider humans as stock, a number in a category. But every individual matters, I promise you. I don’t do much, but I’d like to be a person who supplies hope.

(Seriousness aside, I’ve literally been called an “emotional support creature /aff”, and a “perfect friend”, so I am completely fine with this support role.)

Please… Let there be people who can understand such messages, and who are stronger than me. Because power has always mattered in societies. Don’t let money = power in the end. Money can change, because that’s what is valued in exchange. It’s all bartering. Please, do not let cotton and paper have a higher value than that of human lives. Houses have a higher value than human lives do in the current economic state. The VALUE placed on HUMANS and THEIR POTENTIAL should NOT be LESS than that of the OBJECTS MADE BY HUMANS

Break this system down. Make it bad for business if thats what they care about. And once one thing ends, dont stop. Keep forcing their hand. Make sure that the corrupt system used to overpower us is unable to do so. If you recognize they are making advancements to increase force used, I see no reason that we couldn’t do the same. Dont play games. Its not a game. It’s life. They will see it as a game because they are winning, they made the little game with a handicap in thei favor. Turn the tables. Treat them like a game. Show them it’s more than that. Show them that it is good to care. That they dont care, and they should.

Ideally no mass self-destruction lmao, ik they need workers to supply themselves and we are the workers, so dying would mean no more supply, but they have technology on their side as time goes on, so they still dont care.

You have to make sure they CARE. CARE can do good.

Have hope for a better future where people care. Dont stop caring. If you stop caring, you comply. If you comply, you die. Hope fosters care. Have hope. If you lose hope, you cant care, and that is quite literally why suicide rates get so high, isn’t it? A hopeless situation?

That is my message. My belief. And I have certain beliefs I will always hold. They are what keep me from killing myself, afterall.

Let Hope foster Care to work with Action to bring Change.

Its the ideal family system (/hj).

#maki mayhem #vent #rant #long post #it’s beyond political #perhaps I believe in a meritocracy. but only in that ‘knowledge is power’ but care is what determines who gets it. #care about knowledge. care about people. care about society and life and all that is good. for the many and not the one. #not for reach -> #free palestine #flowers are blooming in antarctica.

[dreamcorechild]

[Muzan woke up first to start off his morning routine. Being a grumpy gentleman and waking up the others with one loud mega speaker. He had news to tell that could entice those to take part in.. Gyokko didn't get the message. He hid in his vase to block out the noice, only for him to not notice Muzan holding a sledgehammer right next to him. Doma scurried his way to get himself ready with elegant manners, He was in the bathroom for 15 minutes, just to brush his teeth.]

Kokushibo: "Doma, hurry up! We all want to use the bathroom!"

Kaigaku: "Yeah! You've been in there for more than 10 minutes!! IM DYING FOR A PISS!!!"

Akaza: "I got some beef with this guy once he gets his fat ass out..."

Kokushibo: "For once. I'm with you there..."

Doma: "You guys never learn the respect of self esteem! I'm nearly finished yet you all are ranting like karens!"

Akaza: "DO WE LOOK LIKE KARENS TO YOU, YOU OBESE WEIGHT HEADED BLONDE BITCH!?!?!"

Doma: "....Yes."

Kaigaku: "THAT'S IT. IF YOU DONT LET US IN FOR THE NEXT 10 SECONDS.. ILL GET A FUCKING AXE AND ILL CHOP DOWN THIS RIDICULOUS LOOKING DOOR!!"

Doma: "Oh you wouldn't. You know your gonna be the one who's paying for the damages."

Kaigaku: "I GOT ENOUGH CASH CAUSE I ACTUALLY GOT A JOB!!"

Kokushibo: "You do?"

Kaigaku: "Yes... Being your student."

Akaza: "That's not a job though...."

Kaigaku: "...WELL.. ATLEAST I GET PAID FOR SUFFERING WITH YOU FUCKERS!!!"

Muzan: "CAN YOU LOT JUST SHUT UP ALREADY AND GET CHANGE. WERE GONNA BE LEAVING IN A FEW MINUTES AND ALL YOU THREE ARE DOING IS SQUABBLING LIKE DICKHEADS!!!"

Kokushibo: "NOT UNTIL DOMA LET US USE THE BATHROOM! I NEED TO BRUSH MY HAIR!!"

Kaigaku: "I NEED TO TAKE A PISS!!!!"

Akaza: "And I just need to.. Stare at the mirror."

Muzan: ".... Akaza.. There's mirrors everywhere.."

Akaza: "I know. I just like to stare at the bathroom one.."

Muzan: "You have one strange habit..."

Kaigaku: "5 MORE SECONDS DOMA. GET YOUR PLUMPY BOOTY OUT OF THIS BATHROOM, NOW!!!!!"

Doma: "Okay, Okay!! Jeez Christ you guys never let me have my privacy!!!"

Muzan: "Well you always interrupted mine!!"

Kaigaku: "FINALLY I CAN NOW TAKE A FRICKING PI-"

SLAM!!!

Kokushibo: "Sorry Kaigaku! I was the first one in. So you may need to wait for another minute.."

Kaigaku: "......FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!"

[Daki got change into something that girls wear for summer. Shorts, a cardigan, a large straw made sun hat, and some sunglasses. Gyutaro always questions her fashion. But never seems to have the courage to say it out loud.. All he knows is that not once in his life. Has he ever experience the ocean.]

Gyutaro: "Why do we even need to go to the seaside.. Not like there's gonna be any sands waiting for us or any bars or.. Even the.. Ocean???"

Daki: "You Havnt seen what the ocean is like.. Have you?"

Gyutaro: "How could I not know... I was inside of you when you went solo!!!"

Nakime: "Gyutaro. If your that persistent, then we dont mind you staying here on your own while we all have fun."

Gyutaro: "I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO DECLINE. OF COURSE I WANTED TO GO!!!"

Urogi: "There will be fishes there.. Right?"

Daki: "Precisely, There's always gonna be bigger fishes in the water.. Where else would the fishes be? A exotic restaurant where professional chefs serves many food that us, peasants cant afford."

Zohakuten: "I got the towels and umbrella ready. I am so ready to enjoy the beach! I even got buckets and spade for us to make some sand castles!!"

Urogi: "AYYYY!!! Zo hawk gluten mo hawk! LONG TIME NO SEE-"

WHACK.

SMACK.

PUNCH.

CRACK.

Zohakuten: "THAT'S NOT MY NAME DUMBASS!! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN LONG TIME NO SEE? WE MET SINCE YESTERDAY.. GET IT RIGHT YOU LOW LIFE BRAIN!!"

Aizetsu: "Do we really need to argue.. On the day when we all get to enjoy the sands and the sea??"

Nakime: "I agree-"

[Oh, it wasn't just them who argues most of the time. The sounds of a blade crashed into the walls and ice melting shivered them with goosebumps. They looked out of the main lobby to see Doma being chased by Kokushibo while he is being chased by Muzan while he is being chased by Kaigaku while he is being chased by Akaza. Their faces tells such disappointment.]

Akaza: "FOR GOD YORRICHI'S SAKE. GIVE IT A BREAK YOU GUYS!!!"

Kaigaku: "ILL FUCKING KILL YOU DOMA!!!!"

Kokushibo: "I SWEAR BY IT, I HERE BY DECLARE WAR ON DOMA."

Doma: "UAHHHH, MUZAN MY LORD AND GOD! SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Muzan: "KOKOPUFFS! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH WITH THIS STUPID WILD GOOSE CHASE! NOW HURRY UP AND HELP ME PACK UP THE BARBEQUE!!!"

Kokushibo: "YOU HAVNT EVEN USE YOUR RUSTY CRUSTY BARBEQUE IN YEARS. IT MAY NOT EVEN WORK ANYMORE!!!!"

[Doma skated through his pathway of ice. He made sure he was far away from the overwhelming orangutans. He didn't even bother to see whats in front of him. It was already to late for him to stop when he bumped into Sonny. He was sent flying towards the many art structures which toppled over like a stack of dominos. Once the dust passes. Sonny was filled with tears.]

Sonny: "Owwie.."

Doma: "O-OH UH. SORRY LITTLE ONE I UHH.."

Karaku: "....."

Doma: "...GETTING AWAY FROM THOSE LUNATICS OVER THERE!!!"

Karaku: "OH?~ Is that so???"

[Doma nodded while fake tears streamed down his eyes. Karaku could only roll his in response.]

Karaku: "Oh stop it with those salty tears. You can always hide in those vases. I'm sure Gyokko wont mind."

Gyokko: "I DIDN'T AGREE TO THAT. HIS FAT HEAD WOULD SMASH IT WITH ONE STARE!!"

Doma: "No I wouldn't..."

[Even with the weight of a human. Doma could slowly make his body slim. Climbing inside the bigger vase to take refugee in. He wanted to know if they had went pass him... No noise was heard for a few minutes.]

Doma: "They didn't see me.. Right?"

Karaku: "Nope. Your all good pal!"

Doma: "GREAT :D!!!!"

[Gyokko on the other hand couldn't wait to get Doma out of his finest artworks.. He had no choice.. He had to slip it out even if the upper moon 2 likes it or not.. Kokushibo was about to turn to another corner before Gyokko rolled his way towards the samurai.]

Gyokko: "KOKUSHIBO!!! HE'S RIGHT THERE!!!! IN MY VASE LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!!!"

Doma: "SHUSH!! YOUR GONNA GIVE ME AWAY!!!!"

Gyokko: "GOOD!!! HE'S BEHIND YOU. BRO. HE'S BEHIND YOU!!!"

Doma: "GYOKKO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!"

Gyokko: "KOKO!! HE'S CLIMBING OUT OF MY VASE. YOU BETTER HURRY AND GIVE HIM A WHOOPING!!!"

Karaku: *Laughs heavily*

Doma: "I AM NOT!!! KOKO PLEASE SPARE ME. I'M SORRY FOR USING YOUR HAIR BRUSH AS MY TOOTHBRUSH!!!!"

Kokushibo: "o.o"

Doma: "OH THANKS ALOT GYOKKO. YOU AND YOUR BIG MOUTH!"

Gyokko: "Your welcome Doma, Always happy to help others!!"

Karaku: "God.. I-I can't breathe... Bwahahhaha!!!!!"

Kokushibo: "¬_¬"

Doma: "Kokushibo.. We can talk about this... You dont have to cut off my head... Please!!!"

[Doma crawled towards the corner, Whimpering while Kokushibo unsheathe his sword... Pointing it at the now helpless Cult leader who stutters and cries.]

Kokushibo: "You made a big mistake.. Ungrateful bastard.."

Doma: *Gulps* "KOKUSHIBO PLEASE IM SORRY-!!"

[A hand managed to stop the sword from landing a full blow. Kokushibo looked behind with his sharp glare, Muzan clench the Nichirin blade tightly. Blood soaking down his hand.]

Muzan: "I know how much you hate him Koko. So do I. But I am not allowing any violence to ruin our trip to the seaside. NOW DO ME A FAVOR AND PUT YOUR FUCKING BLADE AWAY YOU 6 EYE FREAK!!!"

Kokushibo: "....Very well.. You're lucky.. Doma.."

Doma: "OH MY GOD.. OH MY GOD. THANK YOU MUZAN. MY SENPAI. MY LORD AND SAVIOR-"

Muzan: "Doma, shut up."

#demon slayer #aizetsu #karaku #urogi #kokushibo #akaza #douma #muzan kibutsuji #gyokko #gyutaro and daki #daki #gyutaro #kimestu no yaiba #upper moons #nakime #zohakuten #kny akaza

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

fuck the w3 standards and fuck chrome make hostile websites anyway

Buddy I think you're a bit keyed up over a half joke I made about my career. The post, for those wondering-- I was half joking and of the position of "good idea but also this goes against what I'm professionally trained to do"

I agree fuck chrome and fuck google, but I also have to do my job. And that means making websites equally accessible for all.

There are kids whose only access to the internet is their school Chromebook; Chrome is their only option. And not just kids-- they're nice, cheap laptops for those who need internet access. And some workplaces require you to use a certain browser (how many people only have computer access at work because they cant afford a personal one?). So I'm not gonna fault people for a choice they can't make. I'm not going to make an important resource inaccessible for those who may not be able to view it another way.

I cannot let you say "fuck the w3 standards". Do you know what those are? I'm giving you the benfit of the doubt that you don't. They're the guidelines to make all websites look and function the same across all browsers. The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) manages them and has a heavy focus on accessibility through their Web Accessibility Initiative. That's the thing that pushes websites to use alt text to describe images for screen readers, provide enough contrast in color for users with visibility issues, and more.

I'm not mad. I think you misread my half joking tone and didn't understand some of the things I was talking about. Take a little bit to read up on W3C and familiarize yourself with the topic and take this as an educational moment.

But yeah fuck google use firefox.

Maybe another time I'll make a post showing y'all everything that advertisers and websites can see about you via analytics software.

#w3c #web developers #web development #chrome #programming

[whatayrablogs]

It has been a week since Parker followed Polly in crossing the bridge. It has been a month that Parker was deteriorating right before my eyes due to kidney failure, a disease that is inevitable to dogs his age. So last Wednesday, I made a difficult decision with the professional advice from their very thoughtful and kind vet to give him the final act of kindness of putting him to sleep. It was a peaceful Wednesday. Each of us in the family were able to say our goodbyes before he completely closed his eyes. We told him he was the goodest boy in the world. That we would be okay. That it was okay to let go since he was in pain for more than weeks now. That night before, I hugged him tightly while he was having fits of seizures and whispered that it was okay to go because a few weeks prior to that, I kept telling him to fight and not leave me yet because losing Polly was too painful and I could not afford to lose him too. But seeing him fight amidst being in so much pain was a lot more intolerable, so I hugged him for I don’t know how long that night and told him it was okay to go.

I often teased him that he was Polly’s dog. That I initially got him because Polly needed a playmate. True enough, when Polly left, he followed suit. They were too close and were each other’s best friend that they went the same order they came into my life.

Parker was the poster dog of many hollywood dog films. He was good looking but he was a troublemaker, always up to no good. Naughty. A huge bouncing ball of trouble and sunshine combined. He was big and not the sharpest tool in the shed. But what he lacked in intellect, he compensated with his huge huge heart. So huge, we even took a moment to joke that his heart was so huge, it took some time for his heart to stop beating in his final moments. Unlike his sister Polly, he never learned a lot of tricks. He only sits when you bribe him with food and his sit can only last up to 5 seconds, else he’ll get impatient and maybe grab the food from your hands. His greatest talent though, is how he managed to open any type of doors. He can force himself in any type of doors, and that included the doors to our heart. I guess the last fondest memories I had with him was even if he was already having a difficult time walking he would look at me for help to climb up the stairs near one of our doors so he can still forcibly check if he can still open it. Now it warms my heart with the thought that he might have forcibly opened his way in the gates of heaven. That would be so typical of him.

But Parker didn’t need much. He didn’t need toys, or too much walks or tasty treats. What he loved the most was sitting on your lap and pretend he was a lap dog, not really aware how huge and heavy he was. He was the most malambing of the pack, aggressively asking for pets and love and won’t take no for an answer. He lets the other dogs bully him into submission even if he’s the largest in playfights.He’d prefer to chill all day and just stare at you with twinkling eyes, letting you know you’re his world.

It has been a very rough month for me. The morning right after, I bought a Jollibee meal and for the first time in x years, I broke down horribly because it’s the first time I ate my meal in peace. No one asking for a piece of my chicken, and no drool on my legs. This past month, some days were good, some days were better, and some days were bad. Mundane things make me cry, like a neglected dog bowl in the terrace, or a fur still stuck to my shoes. Parting ways with your pets is such a bittersweet experience. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have made peace that we were able to say goodbye, that he’s no longer in pain, and he’s probably playing with Polly wherever they are.

I’ve been trying to compose this for a week as well and it seems I cant finish it because finishing it gives it finality when all I feel like this is all a temporary thing… that they’re just on a short trip to the vet or a board house for some time because I’m traveling. But having a good support system helps a lot cope and adjust. I still don’t regret anything. But I do miss both of them a lot.

I know they’re still around. Because where else would they go? They were such privileged and sheltered dogs, I don’t think they would go that far. My boyfriend bought me dedicated wind chimes the other day and told me when it sings, it’s just them hanging around. I would like to think of it that way. That they’re just within my reach, in the wind, in my memories, and in the energy they gave and left this family. I’m very grateful even if they took my heart with them. I believe they will come back. Someday, somehow.

[bittwitchy]

i’m gonna be a thousand percent real w you guys for a min, its gonna be under a read more, and it revolves around fears and pains and scary medical things and g/ov3r/nm3nt bullshit and stuff which is uhhh destroying me mentally and physically ig ahahahhaa

so like as some ppl know, when i was leaving work late nov/early dec of 22, i fell and injured my ‘leg’, it was a few days before i turned 26 and i couldnt get a doc appt in time w a real doc, and ofc bc i was on the male parentals insurance and it was based out of texas despite US being in california, i got completely fucked over bc they didnt want ro cover shit and i had to argue with them til almost the very end of december or so just to see a nurse practitioner who didnt know wtf she was gonna do, and refused to listen to me when i said i was not going to have insurance in a week. i cannot afford any expansive anything right now and anything that i have to do needed to be done before the end of december. all she said was ‘i hope you get better then, but they will call you when they feel like it.’

its been over a year, im still not better, because i was not clocked in at the time, and was injured in the parking lot, hr already said they wont cover it. even if i was only at that location (not my home location) for them, i was not clocked in and therefore they hold no responsibility, and the parking lot had no cameras anyways. its all just word of mouth so. i got fucked there too. C/alo/ptima has been fujcing useless and wont even send me my new insurance card so i can get a new regular pcp who will refill even just my fucking inhaler because the guy they gave me refused to even refill that.

now, when ive gotten the leg scans, they cant find anything. they dont know whats wrong. ‘oh youre just fat, lose weight and you’ll be fine.’

breathing shots pain into my leg. and the pains been spreading. ive been getting a little bit of weird treatment at work despite dlat out ignoring and pushing through my pain to please people and that wasnt even enough because i still got some pretty weird ass treatment from some ppl in management despite the fact im not choosing this, and ignoring it makes everything worse.

and ive been trying to push through and ignore it and hope it heels, because the medical system isnt going to help me, neither is the company, and i live in california. i really just cant afford the medical system here anyways.

i think when i fell, it clipped a nerve into my spine, because for those unaware im that special brand of au/tistic who can tell you the exact point of origin of my pain. from tooth pain to headaches to even searing body aches, i can tell you where it starts and where it ends. but i also have a massive pain tolerance (ive had 8 root canals and local anesthesia doesnt work on me thanks to adhd, i can and have had 9 bottles injected in and nothing happened, so i just dont use it and ignore the horrendous fucking pain of your nerves being killed because i dont want to bother anyone. THAT is my pain tolerance level, and i cant tolerate this.)

the pain is spreading to both of my legs, and when i ignore it i end up toppling over. i used to be a hula dancer, professional as a kid, still for rec until i got hurt. i cant do it anymore. i can barely walk. when i force myself into events and shit that requires walking, it feels like my entire body is being crushed the next day, and during the actual day of doing but thats obvious.

i dont know how to take it anymore, nothing is helping, no one is helping me, and even people who try to help me its like the system is working for them despite refusing to work for me. i really well and truly dont know what to do about this anymore. the pain from my spine isnt only in that leg now, its in both legs and keeps creeping to my arms. im obviously not gonna get help from the company, and even talking to a lawyer its a fucking long shot that i could get anything done from them at all since the parking lot didnt have cameras. i already have eds, and this has been setting off the issues relating to it even more. i was meant to get tested for pots before i lost insurance back then, but new doctor doesnt believe women can experience pain at all, and are lying for attention if they admit to it.

breathing is fucking painful, and i dont know what to do. i can just keep doing what im doing and ignoring my pain and pushing through to please everyone because its not like the system helps, but the system is working for others and when i do what they recommend i do it not only still doesnt work for me, but i get threats from it. i dont know if its because im autistic or not, indont know why it works for others and not for me, i dont understand and when i try to get answers all people say is ‘just push through’ but im trying and its making everything worse and im breaking my body more and more by just pushing through and indont want to get kicked off of c/alo/ptima for bothering them too much by not getting answers despite my efforts because i did get threatened and incant afford $250-500 monthly fees from my state if i dont have insurance. $250 is more than i earn a week. jts not like im getting hours at work. and i really just am so fucking broken and tired and confused and done i dont know what to do and im tired of being in pain. i just want the pain to go away. i dont want to cry anymore. i dont want to be confused and scared and alone anymore. its like everythings collapsing down and i dont know what to do.

and to top it all off, the skin welts and lesions that my old doctor was so terrified of me having are back. theyre a symbolism of my white blood cell count, and last time i got them he had me get blood tests every few months because he was worried about my developing leukemia. and everytime it got too high he gave me something to try snd prevent it, and ultimately i was ‘almost there but narrowly escaped’, and i dont know how im supposed to just keep pushing and keep living and keep going it that happens too. especially when incant afford a blood test right now. i dont know what im doing or who i am anymore and its destroying every semblance of who i am that i had left, and i just want to make everyone happy but im not happy. im not happy snd im not getting help snd i feel so defeated and indont understand how other people can argue andnits fine but i do it and i get threatened or retaliated against.

indont understand how if i do whats recommended im misbehaving and being wrong but others can do what they want. its like im a kid again but instrad of being beaten im just getting fucked over medically even more snd my body gets to further destroy itself and i dont know whay the fuck left there is to do. its like everythings collapsing down on me, jm not getting the samw care or treatment others get, and i dont think im going to because i cant keep fighting a system thats going to only verbally threaten me because they wont respond to emails. i cant use recorded conversations in court here. im scared and im tired and im in constant pain and had to beg my old doctor to send an inhaler refill without my seeing him because the new one wouldnt and my lungs were giving out. i dont want to die but it feels like its heading rhat way whether i want to or not because nothing and nobody will help me and when they try they get mad at me for ‘not trying harder’ but im doijt everythint they say and more and its nothing. nothings coming crom it but my suffering. but if i say its not my fault its ‘making excuses’ and injust cant keep doing this anymore. im so tired, and im in so much pain, and indont know what to do.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

trigger warning: scary sexual situation and nondescript discussion of cptsd relating to history of child sexual trauma

seeking advice, validation, resources, but advice most

nickname/word to tag my ask for finding them more easily: toadstool 🍄


i’m a freshman at college and i’m really struggling with something that happened a couple nights ago. i have cptsd and part of that trauma i had was childhood sexual trauma in various differeny forms/ways. (i am a nonbinary trans person my roommate is a cis guy, which is the same as the people in my past who hurt me in the way i mentioned above.) my roommate masturbated while i was awake and in the same room not even five feet away from him, and he knew i was awake, he just thought i couldn’t/wouldn’t see him. i immediately went into survival mode and froze, tensed and ready to defend myself, waiting for him to be done so i could flee the room. he didnt notice i saw what he was doing, and in the end i was too scared to move and flee the room. i am even more terrified now than originally. this triggered me immensley and ive been avoiding him and my room since, literally only going in when i absolutely have to which is hard for showering, laundry, sleeping especially, etc. before this, i wasn’t sleeping much at all due to distrust and fear from cptsd. now im sleeping even less, which is very negatively affecting me. its been really hard, i keep getting flashbacks to my childhood. its definitely bringing up my history of trauma. but idk what to call this. creepy? sexual harassment? something worse? we are both young adults but adults all the same, so even though i feel violated and scared (he is bigger and stronger, i am also physically disabled), i dont really know what i can categorize this as, what resources i can use, what i can do in general to cope. i have essentially been in survival mode and fight/flight/freeze/fawn since. i really need support but idk where i can go, what to call this (i have autism so my brain thinks categorically and that is part of what i need to process anything.) i know this has activated past traumas but idk if it counts as trauma on its own, or even what to call it. i also cant tell what is an overreaction from my cptsd and what is a normal reaction to something like this.

Hi anon,

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Especially given your past experiences, it makes sense why this was such a distressing moment for you, and made you fear your roommate. While this wouldn't count as sexual harassment, you're still allowed to feel traumatized and distressed by what happened.

Please know that you're not alone. I had a somewhat similar experience where I was cuddling with a guy I hooked up with and he got a boner and I got so scared that I couldn't move (also a CSA survivor). I decided to talk to him about it afterwards and he was surprisingly apologetic and understanding.

It may be helpful to have a direct and honest conversation with your roommate about your discomfort and explore potential solutions together, like finding certain times he can do this that work for both of you. However, I completely understand if the idea of having this kind of conversation is intimidating or may not feel practical considering your relationship with him. Ultimately, it may be best to look into getting a different roommate if that interests you.

Depending on what kinds of accommodations your school has, they may include counseling in tuition. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you process this experience, heal from your previous trauma, explore potential solutions to this situation, and give you some helpful coping mechanisms that you can take with you.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #toadstool 🍄 #toadstool #🍄 #tw abuse #tw sa #tw child abuse #tw csa

[miutonium]

Just curious, what do you learn in college?? Since I see you mention you're in an art school. I want to go there when I finish high school so any advice?? I love your art and I just want to be as good as you in the future as well ✨️

Hi hi! Yes I do and I am suffering every second of it 🥰

Just kidding! I love doing what I do in school, I get to learn tons of new stuff and step out of my comfort zone! I am currently taking Visual Communication since I'm aiming to work in ad agencies (or just an in-house designer for any companies) in the future!

Here's the thing though, art school doesn't actually teach you to draw from scratch. You have to know the fundamentals like how to draw and basic design knowledge if you want to have an okay time in school because most classes I had they expect us to have a basic knowledge on certain mediums and software. I struggled in my first semester because idk how to use Adobe Illustrator (which is actually so funny to me since most of my artwork are lineless and looked vector) and I cried because I cant figure out how to use the fuckin pen tool. I am okay with using AI now though after being forced to use it for 2 years but I still prefer PS and InDesign over any other day. I admit that I have an easier time at school as oppose to my classmates because while they entered art school right after graduating high school (public schools here deemed art to be unimportant and it's common that the timeslot for art class is used as replacement class for other subject so students graduating from public school almost learn art through self studies), I came from an art vocational school and also went to a private uni for graphic design briefly so I have a bit of prior experience unlike my classmates just started tinkering into digital media in art school.

Experience may vary from countries and schools but from what I can gather and generalize from my experience being in art school for 2 years, if you can afford being in an art school, can afford to pour your time in school, passionate about your craft and want to pursue working in the creative industry, please totally go for it! You don't only learn how to draw but also learn how to organises your work and prep your work for professional settings! For example idk shit about printing and packaging before going to school and it sounded like a minor thing here sure but there's much more logic and black magic fuckery that goes behind the scene to make a single magazine (look up reader vs printer spread!). I get to learn tons a cool stuff about mass production and making designs for those purposes. You don't get to know those things through self-learning. Art school has taught me a lot on how to design for others to see and perceive and not just for me and I just think this is neat for me especially when I always want to make cool ads for people.

Hopefully this doesn't sound too complicated and deter you from being in art school (especially when all i do these days is moaning about wanting school to be over. Im just burnt out tbh lol but i swear i love what im doing in school lol). I hope you get to make a good choice for yourself and whatever you pursue in the future will be good for you💕💕💕

#my school is a bit weird though #since my school is a glc and we are closely related to the board of culture and tourism #we have to run a classical theatre during our 2nd year (which is rn) #so rn i am very much involved in theatre production and i am suffering so bad akdhekslap #but other than that i love all of the art subjects here it fits me perfectly ughh #asuka speaks #anon #ask

[chatterjust]

Artrage 5 custom brushes download

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download install

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download full

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download for windows 10

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download android

Decorate with gold leaf, silver foil, and other metallic colors. Paint with oils, sketch with pencils, sprinkle glitter, and more. Click the download link for your operating system to download the ArtRage installer. Flame Painter is a unique paint program, drawing software that lets you create original paintings with procedural brushes. Simple, stylish, powerful painting with natural tools in a creative environment. After you complete your purchase of ArtRage from our online store, you should see download links displayed for Windows and OS X. Simple, stylish and powerful painting program. ArtRage is designed to present the most powerful painting technology inside an environment that promotes creativity. It has more file import/export formats, and more new features than you can shake a stick at. Now ArtRage 5 includes powerful masking and ruler tools, with layer transformations, layer goups, precise pencils and smooth blenders. You can paint with thinned oils, use wet or dry markers, soften your pencil and control the hardness of the crayon, and much more. All of the tools can be adjusted to give different effects. Thick paint smears and blends, pencils and chalks smudge, and markers work just like they do in the real world. Each of the tools in ArtRage is designed to work like its real world counterpart (minus the smell of paint thinners, and that piece of glitter you just cant get out of the carpet). Graphics tablet pressure and tilt are supported, as well as multi-monitor systems. Custom color-sets and precise color-pickers are available. For the professional user, ArtRage also offers multiple Layers with Photoshop Blend modes for painting, and layered PSD document import and export so you can easily use it alongside your existing tools. You can rotate the canvas to how it's most comfortable to paint, zoom in to paint detail, zoom out to see your entire masterpiece. The user-interface is easy and inspiring to use, and even gets out of your way while you're working. You can even load in your photos as overlayed Tracing Images or pin them to your canvas as references to help you recreate them as paintings.

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download install

To install simply download the ARPACK file and double click it, follow instructions on screen. A set of Photoshop/Painter style brushes to be used only on ArtRage (3.5.0 or later). I use only Oil Brush in AR most of the time. Decorate with gold leaf, silver foil, and other metallic colors. Photoshop works easier for that purpose and 2. You can paint with thick smeared oils or thinned oil glazes, sketch with pencils, sprinkle glitter, airbrush in soft features, and more. To use this software on your PC, you need to pay $29.90 for the ArtRage Lite plan.ArtRage, the easy to use, stylish painting package that lets you get painting from the moment you open it up.

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download android

This version of the software was created for iOS and Android devices. If you want to create drawing on the go, you can download ArtRage Vitae Mobile for $4.99. Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License. This trial version allows you to learn more about the functionality of the software without paying a dime.Īdobe often offers various Adobe Creative Cloud discounts, so make sure to visit the official website regularly if you want to purchase this software at an affordable price.ĪrtRage offers two payment options. 6 abstract textures for the Artrage 5 custom brush free for any kind of use. Wolfgang's brushes look very tasty too, I'm off to play with them now.

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download for windows 10

However, you can download Adobe Photoshop free for Windows 10 or Mac. So far it's Boxy (who created half the default brushes in AR5 and is now selling some seriously good texture brushes) and wschweizer (who is specialising in really nice free ink brushes). If you don’t know which software to choose, ArtRage or Photoshop, keep in mind that the former doesn’t have a trial version. Besides, you can purchase the All Apps Plan that allows you to use 20 programs for $52.99 per month. If you opt for the Photography Plan, you will need to pay only $9.99 a month.

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download full

To get the full version, you need to pay $20.99 per month. You can also buy a standalone version of the software. Photoshop uses a subscription-based model, which means that you can use it as a part of Creative Cloud.

#Artrage 5 custom brushes download

[keefwho]

September 06 - 2022

8:52 AM

I had a little realization last night. When I was at what I would consider my ‘happiest’ point in life, I had committed to the idea of “look at the positives.” It’s a simple cheesy idea but in practice its the same as fusing with helpful thoughts while ignoring the unhelpful ones. I had learned about all of this defusion stuff independently and kinda fell out of it over time. 

10:40 AM

I’m in giga despair. I feel like ass. I have to do a commission for a couple hours and then exercise. It feels like so much even if it’s not a TON. Mostly because I have to do it, or I’ll just feel worse. I’m miserable. 

11:29 AM

I guess I have no choice but to relax until I feel better and save work for later. It stresses me out having it on my plate and I can almost never bring myself to do it efficiently later in the day. I cant afford to skip a day yet or I would. 

12:42 PM

Time to put in some effort. I’ve been trying to believe that ‘your best looks different every day.’ I know I can’t be giga great or even average EVERY day. Today is one of those days where I will do my best but it will come out as less than usual, but thats just how it is. The important thing is that I’m trying. I’ll try to take one thing at a time. First my commission, then messaging people and some financial stuff, then some kind of workout. I definitely won’t go as hard as usual but any exercise is better than none. 

9:34 PM

Im having trouble putting words to the so called “unhelpful thoughts” or “negative beliefs.” It’s probably something like “You must be sick” or “Being sick is inevitable” or “Your tummy is definitely going to hurt later” or “Your tummy won’t be feeling better any time soon.” Really most of these things are just feelings that I’m trying to describe right now. One thing that’s been helpful is talking to myself like I’m the one creating the unhelpful thoughts like I’m trying to convince myself of how I feel. Something like “You feel that in your stomach? That can’t be a good sign. You should try to enjoy comfort while you still can because it’s not looking good for you later.” 

These thoughts definitely don’t feel like mine. Which is a good thing, I assume it means I’m starting to grasp how I shouldn’t ‘fuse’ with these ideas and take them as true. It feels like someone annoying whispering things in my ear trying to freak me out. Right now I’m worried that I’ll be wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the bathroom and it will NOT be pleasant. That could actually happen, it’s happened before with days like today. I can only hope it doesn’t I guess. It won’t be too bad though, the only trouble with it is I tend to feel worse when it happens like that and I worry more when I’m half asleep. Its uncommon though so hopefully that won’t happen. 

Why the FUCK am I like this. I used to be normal-ish. What happened. WHAT HAPPENED. I FEEL INSANE. I keep looking at myself like “Look at this fucking IDIOT, feeling unsafe and treating everything like it’s a problem in the comfort of his own room.” I can’t even eat anything anymore without worrying about how my stomach might react. It’s crazy. I’m not happy. I might have to see a professional about this, either for my mind or my stomach. There might actually just be something physically wrong with me. 

I just want to be normal again. I want to feel safe. I want to do things I love without worry. I’m tired of every single day feeling like a bigger challenge than the last. Give me a fucking break. 

I’m kinda self-shaming, I shouldn’t be. I’m working hard to fix this. It’s a complicated problem that I’m trying to understand so I can become who I want to be. That’s okay. I’m not broken, beyond repair at least. I have people who support me. I can do this, it’s just going to take time. Now that I’m more structured with mental health time, I’m more confident than before. Just like how I’ve been doing physical exercise diligently and seeing results, I can do it with this too. It just takes time and effort. 

I need a shoulder to cry on right now.

#journal

[slowlivinggirlie]

Grooming Maintenance

Ladies! Let’s talk about grooming 🤗

Hair 💇‍♀️

For your hair I recommend getting a trim every 4-6 weeks. If you are dying your hair 4-6 weeks is a good time frame too. For bangs a good salon should give free bang trims. For washing you MIGHT be able to train your hair to wash less but some people just have oily scalps. It’s like how some people have dry skin and some have oily. Plus the finer your hair is the oiler it looks. So wash when you need to sis! And always use heat protection when heat styling!

Eyebrows, biggest tip is to not follow trends. Just use the shape you naturally have. A lot of women in the 90s ruined their eyebrows for the current fashion. I personally recommend getting them done professionally every 2 weeks. I like threading and my salon is only $3 dollars! Waxing is an option too but it will cost more. And honestly I like the threaded look better 🤷‍♀️

Lashes, so this one is only a thing if you have extra money. Lash extensions, lash lifts, and tints are all options. I personally don’t like lash extensions because they damage your natural lash but that’s just me.

Body hair, shaving is the cheapest option and you don’t have to wait for it to grow to a certain length like with waxing. I shave EVERYDAY in my daily shower. Oh and don’t forget your toes! We don’t want hobbit feet! Waxing is a good idea because it damages the hair follicle and your hair grows back thinner. But it’s more expensive and you do have to grow your hair. I recommend waxing for armpits and bikini area.

Physique🏋️‍♀️

You need to maintain your body. You will do this by eating healthy which is different for everyone so I’m not giving advice. Expect for SEE A NUTRITIONIST! Your insurance will likely cover it because they LOVE when you see one because it keeps them from paying for all your medical problems caused by a poor diet.

Besides diet daily exercise is important. Yes I said daily. It doesn’t have to be the same thing everyday or even the same intensity. One day you can play a sport, the other day do yoga. Some examples to pick from are walking (yes walking counts), yoga, weightlifting, sports, dance, and cardio. The important thing is that you enjoy it! Personally I like weightlifting so I do that 3 times a week then the rest I do yoga and long walks.

Skin 🧖‍♀️

This one is super important! Make sure you are washing your face once in the Morning and once at night. Exfoliate 1-2 times a week. Moisturizer daily and wear sunscreen DAILY. Stay hydrated for your skin. And use a retinol plus ceramides if you are 25 or older. That’s when you start aging. If you have persistent acne go to a dermatologist. If it’s hormonal go on a birth control which is hormone replacement therapy or HRT.

For your body exfoliate 1-2 times a week as well and moisturize after showering daily. And any time you put on socks apply moisturizer to your feet. It helps lock it in 🔒

Nails 💅

This ones fun but can be expensive 😢

If you are using regular nail polish do weekly manicures at home to save money. Gels are my favorite because they last a lot longer. I don’t have experience with fake nails like acrylic so I’m not sure how often to get those.

For toes once a month pedicure is a must. I recommend if you cant afford regular mani pedis to get pedicures because they last longer and feet can get gross fast! Plus your hands are easy to do at home. But if you have the money get both done!

If you don’t like colors you must put on a clear coat and still manicure them once a week.

Conclusion…

So I hope this helps ladies! Grooming can be a lot of fun! 😇

#level up #leveling up #glow up #self care #hypergamy #women #tips #beauty tips #self care tips #skin care tips

[fuck-customers]

Since lots of people don't see workers as humans, I get to overhear a lot of drama. Either that be over the phone or arguing right before a couple orders their food. But this guy really took the cake. I do want to say this guy walked in with bad vibes. Like I thought he was coming to massacre us. My store is all hispanics except for 1 dude. SOOO when i saw this white dude with a white wife beater come in and incredibly bad vibes it, freaked me out. But I pushed it aside. I asked for his order and he was on the phone. He would tell me to wait a sec. Okayyyy.... then He ordered his food. Plate A. And was arguing with what I would later find out was his girlfriend. He clearly had anger issues. Literally cursing at his girlfriend "What the FUCK do you want." My vibes were not off. I tried to advise him on what to order. He would ignore me and tell me to give him a second. He finally put his gf on speaker. She names a few stuff we have and one thing we didn't but I knew what she was asking for. I ask him if she want what I assume shes asking for and she says yes and he continues to argue with her about what she wants for her order. After she had very verbally told me what she wanted. I tried to explain to him that her plate was ready. And he cut me off saying to give him a second. Third times the charm. Speaking more firmly "Her plate is ready" Plate B. This interaction has already gone on too long I hand his plates to the cashier so she can ring it up. I hear from the other side of the buffet table "I dont have my card I must have misplaced it." "okay I can gold your food while you go back to target to see if they have it" "I just got out of prison I dont have any money" Usually 1 plate we will give for free, give me a good reason and we'll give it to you. However my manager was there that day and the snitch who cooks was there too. Cashier had no other choice especially since he was trying for 2 plates. To charge him for both. He said "alright Ill pay for plate A". The cashier charges him for 1 and put the other on the side for a potential plate we could use for another order.

Cut to... lets say 2 hours later.

This guy comes in he is on the phone with his girlfriend again and she's angry. They are arguing and he's holding up the line again. I ask "Are you here for the other plate?". He cuts me off trying to get his gfs order. Again I have to explain to him that I have her plate put he wont let me speak. Which furthers my aggravation. He says "talk to the lady" and puts her on speaker again she angrily yells "I dont want anything". He argues some more. I cut his dumbass off I have no more patience for this dude. I have her plate. He starts off "I just got out of prison, I cant afford the plate" "My gf is bitching me out because she didnt like the food". He really gets on my nerves. shes not bitching you out. "Please I walked 1 miles from Kowes, I don't a care about the money, its just my gf is bitching me out" Cute, I used to work at kowes, I walked there and back everyday day my shift. its a 15 minute walk. I get my manager and explain the situation in spanish lol cuz fuck that guy. He's being annoying and repeating the same shit while i explain what's up to my manager. I dont say shit while he talks to my manager. Its none of my business "My gf is bitching me out, because YOU gave me the wrong order." Okay wait a fucking sec. I say "Shes angry because you brought her your order instead of what she wanted. You brought her plate A instead of plate B I think shes understandably angry." Thats not our fucking problem. You fucking up and giving your gf plate A instead of Plate B does not mean you get a free plate. I gave you the correct order. What you should have done l, if it really isnt about the money, is bought plate B in the first place to make your gf happy. BTW customers behind him are having the time of their lives when I explain to him how HE fucked up not us. Don't insert us in your dumbass drama. My manger said he had to pay the plate. He left came back 20 minutes later with an entree redemption code. And my manager cashed him out.

I'm sorry this was so long, just needed somewhere to put this dumb situation that isn't my mind. The amount of time saved if this guy didn't cut me off so much. If only he would fucking reflect on the dumb shit he did. Note I was very polite but firm when I lost patience. I am a professional. Shout out to his gf, hope she leaves his ass. Hes an absolute trashcan that treated his gf like shit and didnt listen to a word she said.

[psychoticallytrans]

hi i hope this isnt a weird question to ask but. uhm tomorrow i have to tell my therapist about a maybe-psychotic-depression episode i had last week and im like, Nervous:tm: and unsure how or what to say? this is probably So stupid to ask but is there. i dont know. a script for this kind of thing, a limit to what i should disclose (im trying to avoid institutionalization, im in college and i cant afford to miss class)? therapy in general is new to me and while ive maybe had episodes like this in the past, the one i had last week was a new level of intense, too, so im just very out of my depth. thank you so much if you reply to this and if you cant thats okay too <3

This took me a long time to get around to. This probably won't help you in particular, anon, but I hope it helps others.

I will disclaim before this post that I have had extremely traumatic experiences in therapy. I came out of therapy with more disabilities and more severe ones than when I went in, and at least one of my therapists can be pinned as a direct cause. That will color this post.

The problem of therapy and disclosure is that... therapists are people, and they are people whose word holds an incredible amount of sway when considering how to act in regards to their clients. That sway is a problem because of how ableism and specifically saneism interact with the medical industry and with society. We are not seen as arbiters of our experiences. They are seen as the authorities on us. Everything you disclose will be filtered through the therapist, all of their prejudices and preconceptions, before it becomes something that the medical system will take seriously.

Amplifying this is the unavailability of therapy and how very few therapists are also mentally ill. If they are, it's even rarer to find one with a disorder that is considered "threatening"- for a reason. The inventor of DBT was BPD, and the second she revealed this, she was essentially exiled from her community. This means, in order, that a) a lot of people have to either adapt to their therapist or go without therapy and b) that therapists can very rarely actually relate to the experiences of clients that need heavy-duty help.

They might be presented as cutesy and "just here to help", but therapists are still medical professionals administering medical treatment with medical authority, and should be treated by disabled people with every caution that you treat a normal doctor with.

As such, this is my advice.

a) Don't disclose any heavy duty symptoms or trauma until you've tested them on some lighter topics, and they've handled them well. "Well" means not denying your experiences, respecting boundaries that you put up, and not acting like mental illness being in your head means you can think yourself well in a few hours. To define "heavy duty" generally, think about what you would put behind a trigger warning for an audience of adults.

b) Don't sign anything without reading it in full. If you don't understand it, tell them you need time to understand it before you can sign it. If they respond to this by telling you to just sign it or that it's not important, that should send alarm bells clanging in your head.

c) Request your medical record. Even if you're not concerned about your therapist, it lets you see their notes. It can be very informative.

d) If they pass as a decent person, then only one disclosure should get you institutionalization: confessing that you are going to hurt yourself or another person. If you can't afford institutionalization, and this is a problem for you, then you are going to have to find ways to deal with that without telling your therapist that. This is actually very easy. As long as you don't tell them that the feeling is current, you can ask for advice. "I sometimes have problems with wanting to hurt myself. Can you help me?" or "I worry that I might do harm to other people- what can I do to avoid that?" are great ways to phrase it that should still get you help as long as you can keep them in the past or future tense. If either of these is an active problem for you, seek whatever help you safely can.

e) Understand that therapy is medical treatment. It is very possible to perform great healing with it. It is also very possible to perform great medical malpractice.

You only have one mind. Be careful who you trust with it.

#Partially justified paranoia #medical malpractice #symptomatic #answered

[wizkiddx]

was thinking for toms most recent ig story it sounds like hes working out early everyday, what if u did a blurb where the reader does it with his and its like best friend --> something else ? sounded like a you type of story, id love if you gave it a go ❤️💕

oohkay so sorry this lit just came through this evening and I suddenly got v stupidly into it (if u put in a req before that I promise I am working on it I just got way to invested cos this is stupidly cute) xxxx

summary: what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

“It shouldn’t be legal…. to be doing anything… this fucking early!” Spoken, well yelled, in between the fake strokes of the exercise bike and your pants. All you got in response was the two men laughing at you, no sign of sympathy at all, as your gritted your teeth - fighting against every body instinct to stop the movements. Your heart was pumping like the clappers; breathing shallow and rushed and your arms… your arms felt like they were about to fall off. Combine that with the lack of sleep from waking up before the sun did at 5 am - meant you felt like your were in literal hell.  

Why ever you’d agreed to do these workouts with Tom and Duffy escaped you. Being the new and rising actress, with a new supporting role in the next Spiderman, meant you’d spent a lot of time with Tom over the past few weeks. Not to inflate his ego either, but Tom had been a real life hero to you. See, you were the complete opposite of his experienced and seasoned professionalism - this was your first acting gig. And what a gig it was, the second biggest part in a Marvel movie. You never really believed you’d get the part and even when you did, were pretty sure it was some elaborate joke, where Ant and Dec were going to jump out from some corner and go ‘ha its a prank!’ or something. 

Yet somehow it was all still happening, you had been flown halfway across the world to spend three months alone on a film set. Well obviously not alone, but you knew no one - you were a complete outsider. That, really, was the reason you’d agreed to do these sessions with Tom. He’d offered half heartedly while between takes as you were moaning about how out of breath you got in that scene. At that point, you’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, he really hadn’t expected you to commit to 5 am each and every morning. What he wasn’t aware of though, was how ocmplerly stranded and lonely you felt here, hence why you jumped at his offer. 

And yes you loved to moan and complain when you were there, however you were also so incredibly thankful he ever offered. Duffy, Tom’s PT, was a right laugh too and he took great joy in torturing you - and was also entertained by the new and inventive ways you’d insult him after he ordered you about. 

“Come on Y/n, 200m more and then we are done, even your little arms can survive that.”

“Really … not the encouragement… I was looking for.” Still panting, face bright red and blotchy as you pressed your legs straight again.

“Tom? You wanna help Y/n out?” 

“Nah you know… kind of enjoying seeing her in pain.” The British voice laughed from somewhere behind you, making you roll your eyes.

“Why the hell… are you not… torturing him?” He sounded way to comfortable and relaxed to be working hard. 

“He’s got a stunt heavy day today so wanted to go easy this morning.”

Now that was a bloody joke. You were BOTH filming the SAME scene today, doing the SAME stunts. 

“Did I forget to mention Y/n is on set too?” The joy in Tom’s voice made you want to do horrible things to him. Even though you felt like you wanted to collapse on the floor, you’d happily do a set or two on a punch bag right now - if that punch bag was Tom’s face. 

Before you could hurl some fresh abuse at your costar, Duffy called time on the rowing machine, turning the display off and passing your water bottle over as you slouched on the slidey seat. 

“Done good Y/n/n, I am actually super impressed with your progress” The stocky man patted you on the back genuinely, bringing a bit of smile to your otherwise grimacing face. He went over the chat to Tom about some boy shit that you couldn’t care less about, allowing you a couple minutes to get your breath back. As soon as you did and tried to dismount the machine of death, your ruined legs seemed to have other plans, shakily buckling so you ended up starfished on the floor, groaning at the dull ache that came with the sudden movement. 

And what show of concern did Duffy show you? A belly laugh that echoed round Toms indoor gym making you groan again, throwing your forearm over your eyes. It was in fact the curly haired brunette, who came and knelt by your side, wordlessly balling up the towel and placing it under your head as you shot your eyes open in shock. 

“You okay? Sorry… I might’ve taken our friendly competition a bit too far.”

“I just… just might have to gain the power of flight this afternoon cos my legs aren’t gonna bloody work.” Tom chuckled and shook his head at your dry humour. 

“Oh I’m sure we can talk to Jon and get that arranged… not like Marvel don’t spend years crafting the script and storyline for a newbie actor to change it all.”

“Might I remind you… they wouldn’t have to if your weren’t such a dickhead!” You exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him with an exasperated look than only made him burst out laughing again. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry… I just cant take you seriously when you look like such a tomato!” His voice went an octave higher as he laughed at himself, the situation getting even worse for you when you heard Duffy join in too. 

The boy was bloody lucky you couldn’t lift your arms right now, otherwise they’s almost certainly be attempting to ruin his pretty boy face. 

/////////////////////////////

After a long day of shooting you and Tom were in one of the set buggies, being taken back to your trailers to change for the evening. There was a peaceful silence until Tom ruined it yet again.

“ Got any fancy plans for this evening then?”

“Well you know me, back to my lonely little old place and  frozen pizza - so living the movie star life.” 

“It’s a Friday! You not going out with your team or anything?” He sounded so bemused at your quiet plans, and mention of a ‘team’ had you cocking your head to the side. 

“‘My team?’ Tom until I get my movie star pay check I can barely afford my pizzas, never mind a whole persons wage.” You were still only three weeks into filming and although you spent an hour every other morning sweating your ass off with Tom - apart from that you’d tried not to impose yourself on him too much. You didnt want to look clingy and naturally Tom always had a mountain of people vying for his attention - you would go to the back of a long line. So honestly, you were still a bit of a mystery to him, right now you’d both only scratched the surface on each other. 

“Really? I know this is your first big job but I thought you’d have someone here?” 

“Nah… I mean I’ve kinda clung to the Marty on the camera crew but he’s going to see family tonight sooo.”

“Come back to mine. I’ve swapped Harry for his twin Sam, which is a bit of an upgrade cos Sam’s a chef. He just arrived last night. I bet he can one up any pizza you were planning on.”

“Honestly I don’t want to impose, sorry I didnt mean for this to be a pity party or-“ The buggy slowed to a stop and Tom instantly vaulted out of it, standing right infront of you and blocking you exist off the back sofa. Both of you were still in costume, Tom in latex and you in your corset-esque two piece, but then both wrapped in matching long line black jackets supplied by set. 

“No come on I’m serious… Sam’s dying to meet you and it’d be good to spend more time together. You know, cos of chemistry and all.” The last bit was a switch from his cool and smooth, normally easy going tone - into something a bit more… anxious? Just like that, before your brain even knew what it was doing, you agreed, smiling broadly and nodding. 

So barely an hour later, you were knocking on the doors to Tom’s mansion-ish rented Atlanta home which was much much more grand than what the studio had arranged for you. Even though you were here most mornings, this time it felt different. Yeh it was stupid, but you can’t help the way you feel and you were stressed. For no real reason… just, just because. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t awkward at all  and you especially instantly hit it off with his younger brother Sam. Everything just felt easy and simple which meant so much more considering you’d felt so isolated an alone halfway across the world for your home comforts. Being British too, simply chatting to the two young men about your hometown and growing up was just so familiar, it really helped you feel less homesick.  Naturally too,  you’d fallen into a casual and friendly ribbing of Tom with Sam, making the three of you spend to majority of the evening cracking up (or in Tom’s case pouting at the abuse). It was a nice change from the two on one attack you got from Tom and Duffy that morning. You’d all cooked dinner together… well no, you and Tom had stood idly watching Sam cook an amazing chicken curry dish - which he promised to give you the recipe too. Honestly Sam felt like your long lost best friend, especially when it came to your shared ability to berate Tom for anything and everything. 

About an hour ago Tom had stuck on the film, effectively shutting up you and Sam - thankfully for him since Sam was just about to get to some rather embarrassing stories of Tom as a kid. You and Tom were on the longer grey sofa; with Sam sat  the other side of the coffee table in an impressively soft armchair - looking as though it was swallowing the lanky boy. The calm, the silence and the comfort was only going to go one way for you though. After your workout this morning, plus all the running and jumping during the shoot,  after what had already been a pretty intense week, it was hardly surprising that you didn’t even notice yourself drifting off the sleep. 

Who did notice though? Perhaps your brown haired costar who’d been stealing glances across to you ever since the movie had been put on? Because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, this didnt seem to be panning out as a normal job. A normal job is something you put your all into, for a couple weeks, and then leave with good memories and a good pay check. Yes, he had only known your for a matter of weeks or so but it already seemed to be unfathomable to cut ties with you. How would he go without your kind mannered abuse everyday? You were just refreshing, new and mysterious. And Tom was more than intrigued, his interest was peaked. 

And it was stupid to feel like that…. Of course it was. You can’t fancy a colleague because things get complicated and awkward. Tom knew that. 

Then why was he now delicately draping a blanket over your frame and smiling smally when you hummed in your sleep, in what seemed to be a show of appreciation for the layer of warmth? 

Because you were his excited puppy of a costar who is giving everything she has for the job? Because he is worried and wants to look after you? Because he cares? 

No matter why, in that moment you were contented and as was Tom. Oh and Sam? 

Sam saw the tell tale signs in his brother. He saw the way Tom had been touching your arm or the small of your back just a little more than what would be considered normal while he’d been cooking. He’d seen the way Tom had been laughing purely because you had. His eldest brother never did anything rash, it was always a painfully slow process for everyone involved. But Sam thought this just might be the start of something. The start of a slow burn.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tomholland #Tom Holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x you #sam holland

[weltenwellen]

hi i just saw the recent ask about extreme social anxiety/agoraphobia and i just wanted to say its nice to hear someone struggling similar to me. im failing out of college bc of it. im struggling to feed myself bc i cant get a job to afford anything and bc the grocery store is my nightmare. going anywhere is hard. its like my dorm room door is the most intimidating thing ever. and bc i dont have a family or friends to fall back on its really starting to feel like im going to end up in some terrible state psych ward forever.

i always thought maybe if there was a kind of AA but for extreme social anxiety, ik it sounds kinda ironic and destined for failure, but the only people ive ever felt remotely comfortable around are people who appear to be just as scared as i am to be out in public. its obviously rlly hard to casually meet other extremely paranoid/anti-social people. idk i think it might be really helpful for me. idk. its just really hard to see myself reflected in this modern hyper-social hyper-fast-paced world. i feel really incompatible with it which only feeds this cycle of isolation. its so nice to hear others struggling in the same way thanks for giving ppl a space to talk abt mental health <3

Have you sought out professional help? It worries me immensely that you have no stable relationships to fall back on and it sounds like you would rather not eat at times than go to the grocery shop (and you have quit college and it seems like all remaining peer relationships that you had). An AA for social anxiety does not seem ironic, I think it makes perfect sense. Because your need for connection are repeatedly and over a very long time not met which makes you suffer from deep feelings of loneliness but at the same time every attempt to seek out connection feels impossible due to your severe social anxiety. If you and the other person who wrote me perviously would like, I could connect you two. It would not get you that AA group but it might result in you finding someone to talk to.

Also, your wish for an AA group for people suffering from extreme social anxiety might reveal that deep down you feel still hopeful and you want to get better but you don't know how. So maybe don't wait to go further down that road you're currently on. The road you're on will remain the same, but the sooner you seek out help and reach out, the less distance you have to travel to come back from where you're currently are. The "problem" to tackle will remain the same, but the severity of your symptoms, the pain and heartache you will be in and the struggle to get to a better place in your life can drastically change from now to a few months. I hope I don't frighten you by saying this but while you might not feel like your symptoms from day to day are getting much worse, there will be a drastic difference if you seek out help now or half a year or a year from now.

All the best to you 💛

#Anonymous

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

[scandeniall]

wash day head canons (black!reader)

kuroo, sakusa, atsumu, iwaizumi x black f!reader

Now this is hella self indulgent for my fellow black bbys on here with 4 of my top 5 boys helping on wash day. Now reminder babies, our hair is beautiful. It doesnt matter if your 3a high porsity or 4c low porosity (like me oop). And any of these clowns would be blessed for his bby to have your hair!

Kuroo

He’ll help if you ask. You just want company? He got you. He the bf you ask to go get the scissors so you can cut the braids shorter and you actually trust him to not cut your hair.

Hes gentle when taking the braids out, not really commenting on how dirty it might be

But hes ass at the pre-poo stage

Like this mf will MISS sections

And will be like “damn thats crazy my bad” when you tell him. But it happens EVERY time 

He lets you wear one of his tshirts the first time you ever spent your wash day with him, and it just becomes your official wash day shirt

He the bf that’ll go get you food if your hungry, bc theres no way in hell youre going out with only half of your braids in

Hes sweet though and kisses you before he goes.

He’s annoying and like “let me hop in the shower w/ you” (partly to see you naked, partly bc them products smell good)

I can just see him as the type to be deadass mesmerized by shrinkage and the type to just play with the bouncy coils

Now listen, he is NOT washing my hair but he can look. He’d try work through sections but will tangle tf out of your hair

Anyways, once your’e out at this point hes tired (shit me too), so just kinda vibes out in the same room while you do your hair

Once he asked to help you post wash, and you say why not, and he go to apply product and he will be the “quarter size amount” type

“Kuroo- what are you doing with that”

“Uh about to put it in” and he look at you like DUH

“Damn my hair about to be dry af” you have to help that boy out. 

But he also the type to know how expensive hair products are bc he listens to you when you talk and is just like ????

Idk i love kuroo, he wouldnt be terrible help, but not professional helper status

Sakusa

Now listen here. This mf is NOT helping with the takedown process. He saw you do it once and saw the built up dirt and said “yeah ima head out”

Plus, he’s not about to touch all that fucking braid hair

You: Yoomi do you wanna help me-

Him- no

But alright once you're actually washed he’s better. 

Since wash day take the whole day, and if its a day where he doesnt have v-ball stuff hes more than content to just sit and turn on something for you both to watch for the day.

Your arms hurt from detangling post wash? Yeah you not about to rest your wet ass head anywhere

He hates the feel of your products, but if you ask with the right look and tone of voice (grossly sweet), he’ll take over a section with product application

Apply generously? He got you.

If the product works for his hair too, he IS the type to buy products for the both of you

Anyways back to him helping post wash/condition. Hes good at finger detangling

Yall know i hc him as having a secondary love language of touch-

Anyways on that note, at that point he’ll let you sit between his legs in front of your big ass floor mirror and yeah when he feeling extra soft and domestic, kisses on your temple

You put him on to bonnets lets be real here (he got a collection bc he washes his way more than you do LMAO)

Atsumu

Now hes USELESS

Type to tease and be like “this mean I can go out to the club without you”

He would not help your ass at all during the takedown

Once he tried (and actually tried) and almost cut your real fucking hair

“C’mon babe, I won’t do it again”

“Absolutely not”

Another “let me join you in the shower ass mf”

He’s hot so um yeah ima just get on my knees at this point. He don’t even gotta ask

“This is a good time for ya to let yer deep conditioner sit”

“Don’t tangle my hair even further” you gotta redirect his hands though

Anyways when thats done, don’t trust him with a comb near your scalp at ALL

He doesn’t mean to be rough, but this man is impatient

Hes annoying and just sits on the bathroom counter while you just going through it

The type to mess around with your products

Another boy you put on to the magic of scarves and bonnets

His shit already deep fried with that dye and he cant afford more damage

Hes headass and wants yall to have matching ones

Iwaizumi

Yeah hes the best

Whatever you want baby, he got you

You can trust him with the scissors

Once you told him about the importance of being gentle when taking the braids out and stuff, he makes a conscious effort to make sure hes gentle

You say you can’t hang out bc its wash day? Yeah he’s right there with you

He’ll gather your stuff for you if you asked. Wide tooth? He got it. Spray bottle? check

If you listen to music while you take your hair down, he’s just vibing, whether its with him helping or keeping you company

Now I hate doing my hair and would be a simp for someone who does like this, so yeah lemme get a distraction smooch

He indulges for a little bit, maybe a few little touches and gropes until

“You’re gonna complain all night if you don’t get this done today”

Then back to business

He wont hop in the shower with you unless you ask

But once you come out with your hair mask sitting and shit, he’d have a snack for yall

Scalp massages!!!!

He got the oil, the love for you and everything

He’s just the right amount of rough that it feels good, but not to where it’d damage and frizz up

Iwaizumi perfect boyfriend thank u

a/n: now this sucks and ive never written actual hq headcanons, but i dont have the brain power to write full lengths rn and this is a mess of words and i want someone to luv me and my hair LMAO. (i was gonna do akaashi bc he rounds off my top 5 but im lazy). Also idk i wanted to write something and had ZERO ideas

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #kuroo x reader #sakusa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu x reader #hq x black!reader