#and he does genuinely seem to want to help

[hazelfoureyes]

gnawing at my encloser for pt7 of a doe in fall..

I really want to get my Rutting Alastor x Rabbit Fem Reader fic out first but I’m writing part 7 in tandem! It won’t be a terribly long part so I’ll try to get it out this week :)

in the meantime here’s a snippet of the rutting fic while I go to work (actual work 😩)

Alastor’s eyes rolled back, strong hands squeezing his prongs, tugging them forward as he imagined anyone riding him. Using his appendages as a handle while he bucked up into them. His hips were already moving, lower back rising off the carpet as he rolled his body up into the imaginary mate he despised his desperation for. His mind flicked through faces. Husk’s pained but satisfied expression, Vox’s tears as he whined, Carmilla’s lusty eyes paired with surrendered sighs. He lingered briefly on Angel’s smirk as his hands roamed down his chest and his thighs in tandem. 

But through the darkness of his imagination he saw two watery and timid orbs, tears welling as eyebrows rose in confusion. Pleasure making the features soften. Soft. Soft velvet ears he could tug on in turn, a little bushy tail he could grip. 

A doe. 

The only doe he knew of in the hotel. 

The radio on the writing desk flipped through channels, piecing together the sounds to form the words he was trying to forget, a magazine ransom note cut from sound bites.

out the windows

 always and forever, 

in yesterday. 

 rusty cage 

May you never

Hating how I

pull the trigger

say you love me?

say congratulations 

The relevant sounds spiked in volume, mocking him. 

He walked to the radio and hurled it across the room. Aggression. Already he was losing his self to hellish biology. 

A minor part of him didn’t want to use you. You always looked at him with such adoration, which he’d come to look forward to when others weren’t giving him adequate attention. You also seemed to genuinely see him as a friend, as much as he didn’t directly feed that idea.

But using people was how the world worked. Everyone was using someone. You had said how much you wanted to help… Alastor leaned on the desk with both hands and watched the sweat fall onto the wood and leather writing surface.

How was his body leaking from every pore but his mouth was so dry?

His shadow reached for the thrown radio, the light flickering on. That dark doppelgänger using a song to offer another piece of torment for him, ‘you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.’

༻Masterlist༺

#alastor smut #alastor x reader smut #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor #fanfiction #alastor x you #smut writing #smut fanfiction

[effwon]

'cause i don't think that they'd understand || ln4 x reader (Part 1)

Summary: Lando just wants to walk down to the garage before the Miami race with you by his side. George and Carmen walked in together, Alex and Lily walked in together, so why can't you, as well? Despite your self-consciousness, you agree to walk hand-in-hand with him down to the garage right before the big race, but it's a much harder ask for you than anyone could ever realize.

Plus-size (she/her) Reader x Lando Norris

Warnings: Brief mentions of nausea/being sick, panic, reader is plus-sized and very down on herself about it, weight mentions, ect.

Characters: Lando Norris (your boyfriend) and feat Oscar Piastri as a last minute saving grace for you.

Rating: G, for now.

“I want you to walk down to the garage with me.”

You blink in surprise, Lando’s words are so sudden and so firm that it makes goosebumps raise on your skin. Walk to the garage with him? But that would mean…

“What? Why?” you ask, folding down the page in the book you’re reading, before placing it down softly on the table beside you. A slugging, churning feeling arises in your gut as you realize exactly what it is he’s asking of you. 

“What do you mean ‘why’? You’re my girlfriend, I want you to walk with me into the garage.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And, perhaps, for any other woman in this world it might just be.

But it isn’t for you. This is quite possibly one of the most difficult things he could ever ask you to do, and that alone makes you feel horrible. Lando deserves a normal girlfriend, who can react normally to very normal situations. Not someone who makes his life even more difficult than it already is.

You sigh heavily, knowing if you refuse you will just upset him. “I - are you sure you want to be seen with me? People will talk and they won’t be nice…” “Babe, we’ve had this conversation before. Just one walk down to the garage with me, that’s all I’m asking.”

You frown again, daring to look up and meet his gaze. He doesn’t seem angry, but there’s a desperation in his eyes, something that tugs at your heartstrings. What Lando doesn’t realize is that the backlash won’t fall too heavily on him - but on you…?

Oh, the fans and the media will eat you up. Lando is dating a fat girl? That will decorate the tabloid headlines for days, perhaps even weeks or months. The thought alone makes you sick. But how can you say no to him when he’s so earnest, when he wants to show you off, regardless if you deserve it or not?

“Yeah, okay.” You finally reply, looking away from Lando and down to the floor. He notices this, however, and kneels down in front of you, grabbing one of your hands in both of his own. His hands are so warm and so immediately comforting, working to ease the rapid beat of your heart in your chest.

“It’ll be okay. I promise. And just think, you’ll finally be able to come see the garage and paddock!” His voice is so cheerful, so genuinely happy and excited for you to be there with him. It’s touching, to say the least, but you are loath to admit that your excitement level is not nearly on par with his. Not even slightly.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve wanted to see them for so long.” The lack of enthusiasm in your voice does dull the excitement in his eyes, but he holds steady. Admirable, really. A trait you wish you could share with him.

“It’s almost time. Why don’t you go ahead and get ready, and we can walk down in about an hour?”

An hour? Well - here’s hoping you can actually make yourself look even somewhat presentable in such a short amount of time.

“You’ll help me pick out my dress, right?” you ask.

The light immediately comes back to his eyes, and he beams at you with the very same smile that won your heart the night you met him.

“Of course! Fashion show time!”

~~

Lando ends up picking the teal colored sundress, something that suits your taste and simultaneously compliments some of your key features. It fits well, with no need for you to suck in your stomach to make it look nicer or more appealing, and hides some of your less than desirable attributes (the rolls, god, the rolls) with ease. 

You feel comfortable enough, with only a light amount of makeup on your face, and your feet are settled into white flats instead of the heels you had originally picked out. Lando liked them as well, but urged you to go for something more comfortable and carefree.

You genuinely do feel okay, but the bitter taste of anxiety still stirs the acid of your stomach as you think about the amount of eyes that will be on you and Lando in a few moments.

“Hey beautiful,” Lando says, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. On instinct, you suck in your stomach to try and lessen the circumference of your belly. Lando tenses, but he doesn’t push the issue, keeping you nestled safely in his arms as he presses a kiss to the back of your neck. “You just about ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” you reply softly, leaning only a portion of your weight back against him. He doesn’t let go for a few moments, and you can feel the warmth of his breath against the shell of your ear. 

“I’m proud of you. I know you’re scared, and I know you’re only doing this for me, but I hope you can manage to enjoy it as well. You may not want the world to know you’re mine, but I do.” Lando explains, nipping at your ear with gentle teeth. It sends a shiver down your spine, and you cannot help but smile at his antics.

“Well, we’ll see what all the news sources are saying in the morning. You know for a fact my issue isn’t being seen with you, it’s you being seen with me.”

“Who cares what they say? How I feel about you is what matters, not what the public thinks about a relationship they know nothing about.” Lando’s voice is firm and leaves no room for argument - likely because this IS an argument the two of you have had time and time again. 

You open your mouth to respond, but Lando’s PR Agent gestures a bit frantically at you both and all of a sudden, Lando is no longer behind you but at your side, lacing your fingers together. 

“Deep breath, babe. It’s go time.”

Oh.

You take a deep breath and hold it in your lungs, fearful that if you breathe at all, you might mess this up entirely. Lando’s hand is warm and firm in your own, steady while your mentality feels anything but. There’s no time to prepare yourself for the walk - Lando is moving and on instinct, you move fluidly alongside him. Your heart is racing impossibly hard in your chest and somehow only gets faster as you step out onto the grass and the sun shines down upon you and Lando like a blinding spotlight.

You hear the clicking of cameras before you see the media snapping shots of you and Lando as you walk hand-in-hand towards the McLaren garage. You can already hear the shouts of fans at home, screaming about how Lando could possibly be dating someone so fat and unattractive when he’s literally a celebrity and could have anyone he wanted. You can see the offensive articles, wondering what’s gone wrong in Lando’s head to be dating someone so average and so unathletic when all of the other drivers are dating what could be (and in some cases ARE) models. 

So many eyes are on you both, and you still haven’t been able to take a breath just yet. You feel Lando’s hand squeeze yours, but you are unable to squeeze back. You just want to be at the garage and tucked back away from the eyes of the media so you can regain your bearings.

And then finally, after what feels like a marathon of a walk, you feel the grass turn to solid ground beneath your feet and the smells of the garage hit your senses like a brick wall. Everything slowly comes back into focus and you realize you’ve finally made it to the other side. Your gut is churning, but you let out the breath you have been holding since you took your first step out and it eases some of the bubbling tension in your chest.

Lando’s hand leaves yours fairly suddenly, but he immediately pops up in your line of sight, beaming at you like you’ve just handed him the sun, the moon, and all the stars. You swallow thickly, hoping to keep down the nausea that threatens you, and offer up a tight smile of your own.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He asks, pulling you in by your waist and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You are still within sight of the media cameras and you hear a few clicking somewhere off to your right, which does little to help quell the nausea. 

“It was fine, yeah.” You say, and it’s incredible just how weak your own voice sounds. “Can we, uh - can we go someplace in the back for a minute? Away from the cameras?”

“Of course,” Lando says, and concern begins to blossom on his features. His eyebrows furrow, gaze focused solely on you as you still try your best to smile at him. “I have to get changed into my kit anyway.”

Lando’s hand is back in yours instantly, and he gently guides you through crew members and winding hallways until you’re far enough away from all of the commotion that you can barely hear it anymore. Your breath is shaky as you inhale, but the relief is almost immediate now that you are out of the public eye.

“Are you okay?” Lando asks after a few seconds of studying your face. “I’m sorry, that was too much, wasn’t it?”

“No, no, no.” you interrupt him, taking another deep breath and letting it out slowly. “It’s just a lot. I’m not used to these kinds of things, not like you are. And there were so many cameras…”

“You learn to ignore the cameras.” He says, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Try not to worry about them, they’re just an annoyance anyway. You’re here to watch me race, and I promise you the McLaren crew will take great care of you while you do.”

Your smile feels a bit more genuine now as the nerves begin to drift off. You know you’ll have cameras in your face likely the entire time Lando is racing, but knowing that you have the support of McLaren while you’re here helps a bit. Lando has been with these people for years now, you can only imagine they’ve grown quite close in that time. 

“I’m sure they will. I - uh - is there a bathroom back here somewhere?” You look around a bit frantically, overcome by the sudden intense nausea that hits you now that the worst of the nerves have tapered off. Sweat builds on your forehead and you begin to feel a bit clammy and lightheaded, but Lando either doesn’t notice, or you’ve managed to keep yourself steady enough as to not rouse suspicion. 

“Oh, yeah, I’ll take you there,” he says, looking around to gain his bearings. He circles his fingers around your wrist and leads you back towards the heart of the garage, but stops before you get to the more heavily trafficked areas. It’s a small, unassuming restroom meant for one person at a time, but it will do. “Here you are. I actually need to change, so I’ll come back for you once I’m set up, okay?”

“Sounds good.” You confirm, leaning in to kiss him when you see him do the same. He offers you a comforting smile and then takes off into the clamor of the garage to get himself ready for the race. You watch him weave through crowds of crew and media personnel, and once he’s no longer within your sight, you turn around and rush into the bathroom without a moment to spare.

The nausea is almost overpowering, and you can’t even make it to the toilet before you feel your stomach rolling. You grasp desperately at the vanity, emptying your nerves into the sink with a violent heave and a shudder. Panic is starting to claw its way up your throat now that you’ve been sick, and you grip the sides of the vanity so tightly that your knuckles turn white. The nausea, thankfully, goes away now that you’ve emptied your stomach into the sink, but a much worse feeling creeps up to take its place.

You reach forward with trembling hands and turn on the sink, cleaning out the mess you’ve just made. Thankfully, a few splashes of water around the sink (and a few swishes in your mouth) manage to clean out everything so there’s no evidence left of your struggle.

You back yourself against the wall now, feeling your heart beating faster all over again, and the sweat begins to feel cold on your forehead. Panic is no new sensation, but you can’t help but curse the timing of this attack. It makes sense - given the overstimulation and the nervousness you just fought your way through, but you had hoped deep in your heart that you would be able to handle this without a breakdown.

You could not have been more wrong.

You begin to take deep, shuddering breaths at far too rapid a pace. You know you have to get your breathing under control, or this will spiral until you’re pathetically hyperventilating alone in a McLaren bathroom. You rush forward to turn the water back on, hoping that splashing some on your face might help snap you out of it, when you hear the handle of the restroom door jiggle.

Your stomach lurches again when you realize in your haste, you forgot to lock the door.

“Yeah, mate. I’ll be back in a few.” You hear a familiar voice say, muffled slightly by the noise buzzing around the garage.

As soon as the person steps inside the restroom and your eyes meet, you feel like you could be sick again. It’s none other than Oscar Piastri, Lando’s teammate and friend at McLaren, and he’s staring at you with wide, concerned eyes.

“Hey,” he greets, and it’s so incredibly soft - as if he might be speaking to a cornered, wounded animal. “Hey, are you alright?”

You can’t reply to him just yet - your breathing is out of control and nausea is hitting you again from the depths of absolute hell. As if this day couldn’t have possibly gotten any worse, you WOULD have a mental breakdown in front of Lando’s teammate.

You simply stare back at him in shock, like he’s the most terrifying thing you could possibly see, and you finally manage to choke out a weak and pitiful, “No.”

You watch as Oscar gently locks the door behind you both - a blessing, really, to keep anyone else from walking in on you in such an embarrassing state. He keeps his expression neutral, only taking one step into the bathroom with his hands palm-up to show he means no harm.

“You need to breathe, okay? Think you can breathe with me?” Oscar asks, his voice echoing in the small space. He swallows thickly, another sound that’s easy to pick up in the confined space, but he patiently waits for you to respond.

“I don’t - I don’t know -” you reply, hands slapping against the wall as you try to find something to grip onto for balance. “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t we give it a try, at least?” Oscar tries again, looking far more concerned than you think he has any right to be. He hardly knows you, after all.

“I - I can -” but the words die on your lips as your legs give out beneath you. You fall to your knees on the tile floor and that’s when Oscar jumps quickly into action. You feel unfamiliar arms wrap around your shoulders, a cushion to keep your head from smashing against the floor, and the last thing you see are Oscar’s frightened eyes above you, the echo of your name frantically erupting from the back of his throat as your vision fades out.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #x reader #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #x reader fanfic #f1 x reader #plus sized reader #driver x reader #hides my face under all these tags #this is my first ever x reader so be kind thanks

[senawashere]

We're on this together... (Chapter II)

Bradley Bradshaw × fem!wife!reader

Summary: Is it harder for you? Or for Bradley?

Warnings: infertility,mentions of miscarrige,mentions of hospital,mentions of getting pregnant,mentiones of ivf. Mostly angst.

'We are on this journey together and we will never separate. I love you."

January 3, 2023.

Everyone,mostly you, could see how much Bradley loved childrens. Babies, toddlers, teenagers, it didn't matter, he loved them.

Ever since you married, you had admired how he treated them, how he made them laugh, how they played, and how his eyes lit up at the high-pitched squeals they made when he threw them in the air. He would catch them again. And again.

He... was born just for this.

That's why you were trying so hard to give him what he wanted more than anything in the world; a baby,a kid of yours.

He searches hundreds of websites for you on ways to increase your chances of getting pregnant, checks your ovulation time, changes your diet... he does the impossible and you both still can't succeed.

You couldn't make your husband happy. He hated this sentence.

And the worst part is, he's not the only one waiting for you to have his child, everyone is doing it, all of your friends are having their second or third kids and you were still... not pregnant.

One day, you were criticized among your friends for not having a flat stomach. They said something as a joke that you might be pregnant, but it wasn't like that.

Just because you dont have a flat belly doesn't mean you're pregnant, right?

Your tears feel familiar on your skin now and when you were sure Bradley is gone you were crying all over the house, you couldn't let him see you like this, it's not fair when he gave you everything and you couldn't give him something so simple.

It's that simple. Right?

You don't want help, you can do it on your own, you know he can or so he thinks, he keeps busy every day trying not to think about it, but it's inevitable, you can't do that when it's something he wants so badly.

You were doing your usual work on laptop, trying to get rid of the thoughts in your head, even if only a little, you were scrolling through your e-mail box while slow jazz was playing in the background, writing down what you needed to write and dealing with the files you needed to handle.

"A young man fell into the base today! We walked around the hard deck and drank soda's. He was with for a while we had a lot of fun, but I think he misses his aunt y/n. I love you baby.💞"

The text came up with a picture of your husband with Jake's son, three of them smiling and Bradley holding some soda cans in his left arm and the right one is holding the boy's shoulder. It was beautiful and made your heart ache, a small smile appeared on your face,the voices and pain in your head seemed to be over, at least for a mimute, and you replied to the message, "I love you two!! Say hello to Jake for me.💓💓"

You stared at the picture for a few seconds, forgetting about the task in front of you.

The smile on Bradley's face was genuine, and he was holding the little boy with incredible familiarity, as if he already knew how to hold a child even though it wasn't his own.

Your phone hit the wooden table with a loud thud and you brought your hands up to your face, feeling tears of frustration falling from your eyes.

No, you were not jealous of them, in fact, you were very happy that they were pregnant with the third one, but why couldn't you?

This was unfair.

While God gave people the chance to have so many children, why couldn't you even have one?

And the saddest problem was,you.

Bradley was perfectly healthy, he could get a different woman pregnant, but he couldn't get you.

The house was quiet, unlike your head, thousands of things were going on every second.

You left your spot and went upstairs to take another pregnancy test with some hope.

It came out negative. Like always.

January 18, 2023.

You throw the four pregnancy tests you took ten minutes ago into the trash can and you hear Bradley sigh as he sits on the bed, hiding his face with his hands. You sit next to him.

“We just have to try harder.” He said, lifting his head to look at you and placing his hand comfortably on your knee.

“What does 'trying harder' mean?” you asked,with a hint of you wobble voice from the emotions. "We do this every day, especially when I'm ovulating, when I..."

"Baby, calm down." Bradley tells you and he just snorts in annoyance.

"Maybe...we could go to another doctor?" He gets down on one knee as if he's proposing, but you stand up and look at him as if he had three heads.

"Why should I go to the doctor? There is nothing wrong with me, we will have this baby, I know. Sooner or later." you exclaimed.

He stood up and took your hands in his, stroking your wrists.

"Of course we will, I have no doubt about that. But—it's better to know more, you know?"

"We're going to have this baby, Bradley. I am going to."

Uh oh-

I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER BEING SO SHORT😭😭😭 and bad news it is progressively gets more sad.. And there is going to be timeline-

I'm tagging people who might be interested and some mutuals:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsigns-haze @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @lyn-js @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @hardballoonlove @topguncortez @hangmanapologist @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @els-marvelvsp @promisingyounglady @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @promisingyounglady and if you are not comfortable please tell me!!

#sena writes #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x wife!reader #bradley bradshaw x fem!reader #top gun maverick #top gun fan fiction #we're on this together #rooster imagine #rooster fanfiction #rooster x reader #rooster top gun #rooster x wife!reader

[randomthefox]

One of the main reasons I fell in love with sonic is that he's not the stereotypical hero.

Yes he hates oppressors and helps people, but he does it because he genuinely enjoys doing it. He doesn't kowtow to any law enforcement or government. If they get in the way of his pursuit of freedom he kindly tells them to fuck off. He just follows his own moral code and not the laws of this land 😍

But at the same time he is surprisingly humble and doesn't give a shit about being famous or getting money.

He doesn't even have a dead partner/sister that inspired him to be a hero. He just does what he does.

Exactly. Sonics motivations are what we would traditionally consider to be selfish. He is just doing what he wants to do because he wants to do it. He helps people BECAUSE he likes helping people, not because it's the right thing to do or because he has a responsibility or because "he's the hero and that's what heroes do", he just felt like doing it. He likes it. It's fun to him.

And that's WHY he's so humble too, because he doesn't think he was doing anything special. He just did to because he wanted to do it, and so he doesn't think he deserves any praise or special consideration for it.

It's really interesting that so many western writers can't seem to countenance this. They can't wrap their heads around a hero who does heroic things on a selfish whim. They think it's "boring" or "incomplete" in some way, and needs to be "fixed" or "improved" by adding melodrama or interpersonal conflict or whatever. They cannot accept Sonic for who and what he is, and so they feel justified in changing him into something else instead. And that is why their Sonic's always SUCK ASS.

[k-s-morgan]

hi katrin i am such a huge fan of your meta analyses on hannibal. i was wondering if you ever had any thoughts of what would happen during s4 and if you ever had plans of writing your own post-fall story. i feel like you would absolutely crush it!!

Hi! Thank you, I'm so glad you found my metas useful!

I'm so satisfied with S3 ending and with the stories of other writers that I never felt an itch to write my own version of S4. Largely because I genuinely think Hannibal and Will have overcome the worst of their obstacles in the show, and now they only have a way up. In my fics, I prefer to tackle the biggest conflicts and drama myself, so I don't have a story interesting enough to tell.

I have a list with the post-canon recs here if you're interested, though they are pretty old at this point.

As for my thoughts on S4, I have two versions, one that I think is logical and one that Bryan might have created.

For the former, I imagine Will and Hannibal learning how to live together, and Will slowly figuring out the extent and specifics of his darkness.

Will consists of unpredictability, and Hannibal is fascinated by it. I think Will is going to kill when an impulse strikes. For example, he might go shopping, without having any dark plans, and end up murdering someone because the circumstances pushed some unfortunate soul onto his path. Will might or might not display the body depending on his mood. Today he can be in an artistic mood, but tomorrow he’ll be in a violent and impatient one, wanting to destroy the body entirely and leaving a total mess behind.

Will might prefer to kill “bad people” in the first two seasons, but it’s the process of murder that excites him. So I see his righteous choices as a preference that helps him justify his dark nature partly, not the core reason for his violence. Hannibal seems to be moved by his interest in human nature and his hunter instinct, but Will, I think, is a truer killer because he actually feels drunk on murder. Unlike Hannibal, he looks downright euphoric when/after he kills Randall and Francis. In TWOTL, Hannibal is more focused on the fact that his dream came true and he and Will killed someone together, but Will seems primarily caught up in the murder after-shocks themselves. Hannibal thinks about Will, Will thinks about how beautiful blood looks under the moonlight.

So, I believe that at first, Will will stick to killing bad people like murderers, but once some times passes, his need for justifications will fade. He’ll move on to rude people, only his rude will differ from Hannibal’s. Hannibal doesn’t differentiate between genders and ages, but I think Will will. He’s interested in a feeling of power, like he himself says, in a sense of dominance, so he’ll look forward to a fight. He won’t be interested in attacking a teenager like Cassie, for instance, because the power imbalance is too prominent. But as soon as someone more equal does something Will heavily dislikes, something that wakes his bloodlust (a personal insult, physical or verbal abuse toward other people/animals, etc.), he’ll attack. He’ll be careful - he knows how to avoid being caught, but it will still be unpredictable and passionate. Will is a storm to Hannibal’s calm.

As for Bryan's version, he said a great variety of things about what S4 could be about over the years, to the point where it's nearly impossible to form one coherent picture. Here is my attempt on it.

Will is going to feel drunk on his newfound darkness and freedom. He was repressed for so long that now that he Became, he’ll be losing his focus and drowning in his own preferences, forgetting what they were and turning into a much more vicious monster any of us expected. He’ll be chasing the high he felt from killing Francis and failing to find it. He’ll be surrounded by blood, his past victims (hence the return of everyone dead, like Bryan mentioned), and more madness. A part of him will want to impress Hannibal, to prove that he’s a worthy partner (which is supported by Will seeking Hannibal’s approval throughout the show - the way he glances at him after biting Cordell is a good example; the way he has low self-esteem and knows Bedelia failed Hannibal’s expectations). So he’ll be acting more and more violently.

Hannibal will see that Will is losing himself in a new way. He won’t want to start a physical relationship with him (which Bryan mentioned) because he’ll be afraid that it isn't for the right reasons, that Will is too far gone to made decisions. So, he’ll feel like the best therapy would be to push Will even more and make him realize that he’s approaching their new life from the wrong angle, to make him figure out that this isn't the kind of killer he wants to be. To do this, Hannibal’s manipulation will entail them going after Alana and Margot.

Will won’t be fond of the idea but Hannibal will manipulate him into accepting it, intending it as a test that will finally make Will snap out of his state. So Will will initially help hunt them down but then he’ll realize this isn’t what he wants to do. Hence finally getting his mind back and being happy in S5.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #season 4 #meta

[deconstructthesoup]

Thinking about a Nerdy Prudes Must Die swap AU

Steph---the mayor's kid who was put under a lot of academic pressure growing up, resulting in her getting lumped in with the nerds despite her struggling in school. She has to try twice as hard as everyone else, which gets seen as her being a buzzkill who does nothing but study, which makes teachers expect more from her... and, yeah, she's infinitely stressed. So stressed and burnt out, in fact, that when a pop quiz gets thrown at her out of nowhere, she finally breaks and asks to cheat off of...

Pete---one of the few popular kids who's popular not because he can play football or soccer or whatever, but because he's genuinely nice. He's taken Ted's advice just enough so he can seem cool without actively being a sleazeball, and he's even managed to be class president. Of course, he's still got a lot of nerdy interests he keeps under the rug, and he's also a lot smarter than he passes himself off as---so he never in a million years would've suspected that the mayor's cute nerdy daughter would want his help on a test, but he's prepared. Until, of course, they get caught by...

Max---the pastor's son who's well known throughout the school to be a judgmental and self-righteous asshole, holding himself and others to ridiculously high standards. He's still an untouchable menace, but instead of it being because he's a football star, it's because every single teacher and authority figure is swayed by his Good Christian Boy attitude, despite the fact that he has a C average (hey, you don't need to worry about grades if you're just going to take over running the church when you grow up). By all accounts, he's pretty much perfect---except for the fact that he has a secret thing for...

Grace---the head cheerleader who still grew up in a very Christian family, but she's embraced her crazy and has successfully talked her parents into letting her do more stereotypical high school stuff like, well, cheerleading ("it looks good on my college transcript, and it's a way for me to get steady exercise and keep myself in shape") and the occasional party ("it's just a fun thing between friends, and if any of them do anything reckless, I want to be there to help"). In reality, of course, she's the most unhinged popular girl in the history of ever, and nobody fucks with her because she's the type of girl who will bite you if you give her shit.

Brenda and Kyle are Steph's fellow struggling nerdy friends---Brenda got lumped in with the nerds because she's in the fandom zone, despite the fact that her head's usually in the clouds and she can barely pass classes, and Kyle's the awkward theater guy who's a total romantic but can't even properly talk to people he likes. By contrast, Richie and Ruth are Pete's friends, and while they aren't exactly cool, everyone knows Richie as the weirdly funny school mascot, and Ruth is Pete's incredibly cocky vice president. So, social clout.

And, uh... yeah

#it's fun to imagine the swaps #starkid #hatchetfield #nerdy prudes must die #stephanie lauter #pete spankoffski #max jagerman #grace chasity #brenda npmd #kyle npmd #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming

[rosquinn]

Very very disorganized X thoughts

Based on mostly voicelines

His incoming lines make me think a lot, honestly

X is a liar, as it's stated several times in-game. He hides in his Goldberg machines and creates his own reality for fun, and quite possibly to feel safe from the external world. All of his confidence shows in times where he knows he has the full control of the situation ("Haha... I got you! I won't let you go, unless you agree to join my experiment!"). He likes to push people into his own world, but he's also dependent on them; he needs people to show them his machines, no matter how much he tries to satisfy his own desires with his creations, if there's nobody to test them on or show them to, what's the point?

"Try my new inventions... Ah! I had never prepared for a plan B in your absence..."

"Can I borrow you tonight? I really need your help for my new machine... please?"

"It's so nice to meet you! I've been waiting for so long!"

So, despite the confident and self sufficient facade he likes to put on, X is constantly referencing and asking for the attention of those around him ("Please live up to my expectations, colleagues!" "Ah, I seem to have grown a bit taller recently. Can you tell?"). If he ever takes an "imposing" role, it's when he's 100% sure he has enough power to enforce it, and he does want to have that power and confidence permanently and don't depend on other people and the external world anymore ("The day I've waited for has finally come. Welcome to my world."; Bottom of Insight line).

He reaffirms everyone likes him although of his eyes, something that caused a lot of rejection from people his age ("My eyes.. a little scary, aren't they? Kids new to the orphanage were a little afraid of them, but in the end everyone likes me."), and possibly the adults in charge of them themselves. He's dealt with a lot of rejection and mistreatment since he was a kid, and he looks for validation constantly, hiding under fake confidence and acting rebellious and chaotic on purpose to reaffirm said facade. He references his orphanage quite often in his voicelines, only when he's talking to Vertin, a friend he presumably can trust.

Going back to his Incoming voicelines, the first one really sticks out. They're both completely different reactions to the same threat, and one if them is most likely and act. My point is: considering X's facade mostly consists on appearing capable of anything, in control and smarter and more powerful than other people I don't know why he'd pretend to be scared.

Given how he talks about the orphanage, being a place where kids weren't even fed enough, didn't have winter clothes, weren't even allowed to exit the building, how much he liked to cause trouble, even trying to scape once, and how orphanages were in that period of time, it's highly possible kids faced physical violence from the adults in charge of them. Imo, the first line is genuine. He's recognized a threat, he knows he lacks enough power to face it, and he's scared of getting hurt. The second one is just another attempt at looking like he's in control of the situation. As I've said before, these lines are specially interesting to me because he is in battle, where he isn't in perfect control of everything, that's not his world completely and he can't drag people into it like he does at Laplace, so it makes perfect sense that he drops the facade for a moment facing a real threat.

Maybe this was all really obvious but whatever. I like him a lot

#reverse 1999 x #x reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 #mine #do I have any r1999 mutuals...

[clemblog]

Caine’s Lesson - Part 10

•

Pomni was in the ranch kitchen, helping Ma Gator with the next meal for the day, as Gummigoo, Max and Chad messed around outside whilst sorting through the supplies they'd found.

“You know Poms, I am glad my son found you.” She spoke softly.

“O-Oh, really?”

“Indeed. I think you’ll be good for him. You remind me of my late husband, you know.”

“I-I do?”

“Mhm, he was a sweetheart, just like yourself. A little timid but dived right into the adventures once he found his feet. It’s why I fell for him in the first place, he was so caring but also so hard working.”

“That sounds nice-“

“Indeed. It’s why I have hopes for you and my son! You compliment him rather well!”

Pomni didn’t know what to say to this, Justine nodding along as she cut up fruits and vegetables. Her face was a little flustered but she wasn’t going to acknowledge that-

“You know Gummigoo, you’re real buddy buddy with Poms~” Mused Max.

“She’s cool, why I wouldn’t I be?” Hummed Gummigoo, softly with a smile.

Max and Chad just looked at each other at this.

You ever look at your friend and you know they have it bad for someone? But they don’t even realise it themselves? That’s what was happening right now.

…

They sure weren’t going to tell him-

This would be hilarious.

“Hey… uh Lou? Where are you?” Hummed Pomni, sheepishly, looking around the barn for Lou.

“I’m over here Poms!” Smiled Lou, waving her over. She was currently knitting some blankets, like she’d learnt so from Ma Croc!

“Hi- Can I talk to you?” Said Pomni, softly. “I uh- need to see if I’m reading a situation correctly-“

“Oh! Right! What’s up? What’s the gossip?” She grinned, gently. Pomni sat down across from her, taking the yarn Lou was making to straighten it out for her ease. She then began to retell Lou the interaction she’d had with Ma.

“Well, how does it make you feel?”

“I’m not sure- If I think she’s insinuating what I think she is- I’m not- against it- But I don’t think I’m ready for it yet- But I will be eventually- J-Just not yet- Does that make sense?”

“Oh totally! It does, especially since all the stuff that’s happened since you arrived here, you know? And it’s weird to say but I think I know the feeling?”

“Y-You do?”

“Yeah, you know those knights I was talking about? Well- I don’t remember her face- But she was so sweet- And so genuine that I can’t help but think of her sometimes- Do you think one day she’ll come back?”

“Oh- I don’t know- Maybe..? We’ll just have to wait and see I suppose-“

•

The circus group had long since headed to bed since their little meet up! Opting to reconvene in the morning.

Everyone was sat back in a little circle, just chatting or doing their own thing.

Then Caine appeared.

“Hello everyone!” He exclaimed, popping into existence. “I am here to collect Gangle for her solo adventure!”

“W-Wait- What..?” Eeked Gangle.

“That is not happening-“ Frowned Zooble, putting an arm firmly on Gangle’s shoulder.

“Yeah, wet blanket here would never get out of a solo adventure if it’s anything like the one I went on.” Hummed Jax.

Gangle didn’t know whether to thank Jax and be annoyed with him at that-

“Yeah Caine! Nobody here wants to go on solo adventures! If we’re going on an adventure it’s one to get back Pomni!” Huffed Ragatha.

Caine’s upbeat attitude seemed to be fading at these claims.

“I-I see. Well. I… was going to keep most of you here.. in hopes someone would abstract and then you’d all need me again-! Pomni would come back- And I’d be your lovable ring master again! …But I see that’s not going to be the case.. Is it? So, I guess it’s time for a clean slate…”

“Wait- What?!” Eeked Ragatha.

A portal wrapped around the group and swallowed them whole.

It was time for a new adventure.

“A-Are you sure this is a good idea Caine?”

“…Never. But I can’t do much else. They’ll need me but I won’t come. They’ll abstract and I can start over.”

“…oh..”

•

Pomni was happily tucked in bed now after a long day. They were set for another day of adventures tomorrow with Gummigoo, Max and Chad. They would never have too many supplies! Especially since some members of the surviving candy kingdom were talking about repopulation, already excited at the premise of a new start with a new kingdom. It was why Lou had got so crafty, she wanted her current citizens and any new citizens that’d arrive in the future to be as comfortable as possible!

If they wanted to be efficient at work, they needed to be well rested, comfy, fed and happy! So, that was the current plan of action for everyone at ranch, which had slowly expanded into a little makeshift village from residents expanding out of the barn into their own bigger makeshift spaces.

It was finally becoming a sustainable and safe area to live and thrive.

•

Ragatha, Jax, Kinger, Zooble and Gangle fell into a familiar chocolate goop.

Oh dear.

Oh god.

This wasn’t good. Was it?

Something was happening.

A deep rumble struck from the void, felt by all humans and NPC’s alike in the form of many apparitions.

Some had nightmares.

Some had stomach aches.

Some felt an overwhelming sense of dread.

Others just slept on undisturbed.

Things were changing in this world.

And it felt like for the worst.

Caine’s AI had changed. And it was Pomni’s fault. Wasn’t it? Was it?

•

A little note from me to you.

CHAPTER TEN!!!

Woo, look at me go! So many words, so many things to write next.

Thank you to everyone who's read this far and has showed support!

I know their are a lot of people making their own

TADC stories and universes, but to know that a collective of people enjoy mine in my own little corner of the internet with silly little comments means so much to me.

So thank you so much for reading!! I'll see you in Chapter 11. <3

#fanfiction #caine’s lesson #gummigoo #gummigoo x pomni #pomni my beloved #pomni x gummigoo #tadc #tadc au #tadc caine #tadc fanfiction #tadc gummigoo #tadc kinger #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc pomni #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tdac caine #tdac jax #tdac ragatha #tdac pomni #tdac #tdac gummigoo #tdac gangle #tdac kinger #tdac spoilers #the amazing digital circus pomni #the amazing digital circus gummigoo #the amazing digital circus

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

Hi hi! Fic prompt if you fancy it;

"I know you're used to doing this stuff alone but would it kill you to let someone actually help for once?"

With a bit of whump on the side?

Have a great day :)

Nonny, you definitely fueled my creativity with this, and I'm very grateful, thank you! So, it's not much, but as this was unexpectedly not the only prompt I received today, I thought I'm gonna make a short collection of all prompts resp. fics I'm doing for those prompts. That being said, I will probably use every prompt I've been gifted today, just not very quickly, and I appreciate your patience. So, for the first prompt, have this:

Love can only heal (1271 words, T, no warnings, below the cut and on AO3)!

— Don't be afraid to feel Cause love can only heal —

"You know, I'm disappointed, Evan."

Buck doesn't fancy being a disappointment – yes, he's used to it, just not to hearing it from Tommy. Tommy, standing at the threshold to Buck’s loft, this look in his beautiful eyes. However, it looks more like concern; like honest, downright intimate care.

"D… disappointed?"

Buck is genuinely confused, but he’s also quite distracted. Tommy leans in the doorframe like a high school bully, he undoubtedly has the physical qualities of someone who won’t stop at hurting you with words. Then again, this is Tommy, and besides the somewhat worried gaze, his eyes are nothing but soft. That’s an extremely confusing charisma.

"Are you going to let me in or…?"

Tommy's fleeting gesture includes the hallway and the doors of Buck's neighbors, and for a second, another very contradictory feeling arouses. Buck doesn't want to disturb his neighbors, but he also wants the whole world to see Tommy. Tommy, who has kissed him and whom he has kissed (oh, and way more than that) and with whom he can imagine a host of new things, the most innocuous of which is to make up for the canceled dance at Maddie's crashed wedding reception.

Buck limps to the side and Tommy enters, and as always, his sheer presence seems to fill the loft. It's as if that wide open space shrinks to a minimum until there are only Tommy's eyes, still resting on Buck, but – thank goodness – anything but disapproving.

"If I had a penny for every time you broke your foot, Evan…"

"... you'd have two, which isn't much, but funny that it happened twice," Buck replies automatically, and now they're both grinning, and that's when he knows everything’s going to be okay. He just knows.

"It's not my fault, by the way," Buck adds, limping over to the couch and patting it cheekily for Tommy to sit down, "no one could have guessed that just as I was digging that puppy out of the rubble, there'd be a piece of ceiling coming down."

"Of course you'd rescue a puppy in a burning house that's almost collapsing," Tommy replies softly, and then he does that thing again.

He puts two fingers under Buck's chin, lifts it; Buck's heart beats hard in anticipation of a kiss, but no. Tommy's eyes strangely resemble Buck of the puppy he pulled out of a pile of debris, but there’s also something else in them... it's not really disappointment, it's more like... hurt.

"But I don't quite understand why I have to hear this from Maddie, Evan."

The way Tommy says Evan... if Buck didn't actually feel a little guilty – because now he knows what's going on, now he realizes – he'd probably pounce on the pilot for good. They’d make out on the couch, because that’s basically where Evan sleeps since the accident, and then… Tommy wait’s for an answer, that’s clear. If only Buck’s mind wasn’t so empty.

"I... uh…" Buck isn't particularly good at apologizing. He spent his whole life apologizing for existing, and it never helped.

"From Maddie," Tommy continues, "and not from my boyfriend."

Buck's face becomes as hot as that of a kid caught in the act.

"I just didn't want to..."

Everything Buck might say collapses in his mind like a ridiculous house of cards; the thoughts seem stupid to him. Perhaps that is simply his fate. Maybe he will never get away from being an eternal disappointment to everyone in his life.

"Evan," Tommy says, and there's something in his voice that makes Buck look up, "do you trust me?"

Buck's heart skips an extra beat. Does Tommy know he's repeating the exact words he said to Buck on their first night together? It opened up a whole new world for him. And only now does he really understand how far this goes. Being genuinely wanted. Loved, even, in a completely different way than he is used to.

"Yes," he simply replies, grasping Tommy's hands and holding them tightly, because this is something to hold on to.

"I know you're used to doing this stuff alone but would it kill you to let someone actually help for once?" asks Tommy, and it's still unbelievable that Tommywants to be that someone.

There’s an answer on the tip of Buck’s tongue, and he quickly swallows it. Because yes, sometimes even Evan Buckley can control himself. He could have said that he only broke his foot, that he can still walk (well, limp), that he doesn't need any help. He could refer to their often so different shifts making it hard to see each other more often, and there's Maddie and the rest of the crew to help out, but… That’s not what Tommy meant, and he knows it. 

"I'm a lousy boyfriend, huh," Buck says with his crooked grin that defuses many situations, but Tommy immediately shakes his head.

"Evan Buckley, you're everything I want, get that in your thick skull," he says sternly, yet there's that glint in his eye, "and I don't want you to change, all right? I just want to, ugh..."

Tommy is adorable in his embarrassment, gesturing broadly, searching for words.

"I know," Buck says, and now there's probably something in his tone that makes Tommy sit up and take notice. Because he really knows what Tommy wants, and that's something that none of his previous partners ever actually wanted, not even Abby, at least not like this.

He wants to be a part of Buck's life, a real part, not a decoration, not a fleeting affair. Not an exciting party topic, or just the guy you call when you need a place to sleep. Tommy gives his all, he puts all his heart into this. So far, Buck had the most profound conversations with Tommy and, as strange as it sounds, the most profound sex. Above all, though, emotions deeper than anything he’s felt before. Truer than everything he’s felt before. Yes, Tommy gives his all, and that’s why Buck has to do the same.

His phone is lying on the floor in front of the sofa; in this life, Buck will never be tidy, but right now it is lying there very suitably. He takes it, and as he taps on it, he almost hears Tommy's frown.

"What are you doing, Evan?"

"Here," he replies and holds the mobile in Tommy's face. "From now on, you're the first, all right?"

Tommy once told him that he was a pretender for so many years. He’s had years of practice in turning his face into a mask, showing whatever those around him expected him to be, to feel. He doesn't do that anymore, and he knows that he doesn't need it with Buck, something that delights him greatly. And so it is not surprising that Tommy's facial expression quickly changes from irritation to something very, very soft. Well, a bit like a puppy after all.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his eyes seeking the same confirmation as his words.

His name is at the top of Buck's contact list, under emergency contact. Maybe that's only flattering for someone like Buck and Tommy, only understandable for people like them who risk their lives for others and so often fall by the wayside themselves. Tommy understands. He exhales a bated breath, and it sounds like a sweet sigh of relief.

"Very, very sure," Buck replies, and he doesn’t mean just this silly gesture, of course.

He means it all. He’s in it, he’ll give his all. And Tommy?

Tommy knows, and he smiles.

#writing #fanfiction #my fics #Buck/Tommy #Bucktommy #Buck x Tommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #tevan #firepilot #tommy/buck #dailykinley

[multiversal-wanderings]

What proof do you have that shifting is real? Where does it come from? Which cultures practice it? Do you guys even have any backup for your claims. I’m not even coming at you at all i’m genuinely curious and would like to know so i could read.

It’s a fair question.

Shifting is, essentially, experiencing a different reality. This is a metaphysical practice, so it’s unlikely to be proven in the way many people want (ex: some kind of brain scan).

Perhaps a brain scan would show certain signs of increased brain activity if a person were meditating and doing a shifting “method”, but the actual final act of shifting isn’t a physical process at all. You shift via your consciousness.

Most people believe in shifting for a combination of reasons. For me, it’s a mixture of reading about thousands of others first-hand experiences and my own scientific and spiritual beliefs.

There are countless experiences shared online by shifters, even by people who have no idea this community exists. People who don’t know the word “reality shifting” but say they explored “persistent realms” or lived for years within dreams. There are entire shifting podcasts where people share their experiences in heavy detail, and speak so casually, it makes it difficult to believe it’s all a well-constructed lie. My favorite is the GetShifty podcast. Their first episode is “What is reality shifting?” and touches on a lot of the things I mention here.

In physics, the multiverse theory has been around for a long time, and there is some notable evidence for it. You’ve probably heard of the famous double-slit experiment, which showed that light can act as either a wave or a particle, and condenses into one upon observation. This could indicate that parallel realities exist, with each potential outcome existing, and collapsing into one once observed (AKA, someone intentionally shifting to it).

As for religion/cultures, the concept of multiple realities and reaching them via deep meditation seems to be mentioned in the Yoga Vasistha. I’ve actually only recently begun reading it, and am finding it super fascinating, so I may make a separate post about it sometime.

The famous author Neville Goddard also has many books about manifestation and his approach to it. He has mentioned his experience of being in a meditation and experiencing a different reality. He called it “worlds within worlds.”

You don’t even have to be into “new age spirituality” type things to believe in shifting, though. I’m a Muslim and I find my study of Sufism to have MANY things intertwined with the concept of non-dualism, which is arguably central to one of the main shifting theories (the consciousness theory).

I have soo many thoughts on shifting and I have some more things I want to post in the future so if any of this is interesting to you guys, lmk and I can share haha

I hope this was helpful!

#shiftblr #realityshifting #shiftingrealities #shifting #shifttok #reality shifting #shifting realities #desired reality #dr #shifting script #loa tumblr #loa #shifting method #shifting mindset #shifting motivation #shifting proof #shifting theory #shifting community #shifting to mcu #shifting to ATLA #scripting #shifter #wr #waiting room #shifting methods #law of assumption #manifestation #Neville Goddard #multiverse theory #consciousness theory

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Triage: Initial Thoughts

Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage! 

I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico​! 

Alright, let’s do this!

Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.

I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.

Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.

He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.

Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.

I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references. 

I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death. 

This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.

NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.

Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.

Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.

He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.) 

He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.

In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth. 

Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.

The simplest way to explain this is with this image: 

When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image: 

Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.

Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.

That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.

Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.

In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).

He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.

VOTE: INNOCENT

Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.

Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.

I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.

#admin venus #milgram #ミルグラム #kirisaki shidou #shidou kirisaki #milgram theory #i'd like to apologize if this is incoherent #i moved around a bunch of paragraphs and i don't wanna proofread rn #i have to pack and go home for spring break tomorrow and it's already 5 am #the lights only just came back on recently #it's been a power out for a while over here which is why the other admins were talking about battery so much #also the mv didn't have english subs right at the drop so we watched in french for a hot minute #that was fun #also apologies if i'm too much of a shidou apologist but legit i feel like his crime is at least extremely understandable #and he does genuinely seem to want to help #the audio drama made me emo though ngl #like... oh... THAT'S why you were commenting on Es being a kid and all that so much... #i lost my train of thought. anyways have your initial thoughts #i'm gonna try to get the futa/mu/shidou full theories up over the next week or so cause break

[feyyyd]

i finished reading the book and, no offence, i truly do not understand what people hated to much about zendaya's chani compared to book chani. i'm sorry but the entire time she was giving go girl give us nothing. it was like...paul had some visions > they met and get to know each other for like three 3 seconds > she kisses his cheek > [time skip] > they now have a son but we do not get any info beyond a name > she miracously knows whats wrong with him and revives him from the water of life > their son is killed andthe only thing she thinks of is how this might negatively impact paul > she's super understanding and fine with the fact that paul is gonna marry another woman

#dune #idk theres just no substance to her #nothing that makes me like her as a person bc imo shes just there as a prop almost #like what does she even want except be some sort of pet wife to paul #and from his pov it makes more sense ig bc of his visions and whatever it is he knows #but from hers? hes just some random coloniser dude that seems kinda psychotic but is nice enough and wants to help them defeat their enemie #and homegirl is like yo i have nothing at all to do in my life so why not bag that man #genuinely i thought zendayas chani was so cool and i was really curious to learn more about her. but there was nothing to learn lol #even that the planetologist was her dad was not really relevant. she was sad for one sentence and then it was never mentioned again

[hypervoxel]

Referencing one of the fics I talked about here, the "this was supposed to be about Redemption. it isn't." Vox-centric rape aftermath one, which will now be going behind a readmore with that description as your warning

I need to talk about this forever but I am not close to publishing anything yet. But I do have a lot of it plotted out (with no ending in sight though, unfortunately).

Vox, at his core, wants to be liked. Where other Overlords lean into the fear their power inspires, Vox softens himself and puts on a friendly smile. He needs public approval. He yearns for their affection, their eyes, their obsession. He made an AI assistant modeled and named after himself on all of their phones/watches/devices.

But Vox still is an Overlord, and you don't get power in Hell without making people hate you.

The Vees have a hold not just on media, but on drugs, real estate, construction, data centers, manufacturing, the entire electrical grid and fiber optic lines, the list goes on and on. Vox's empire touches every corner of their city; no one is free from his influence unless they shun modernity entirely.

It's the drugs that cause an issue this time.

Valentino has been beefing with The Alchemist since that mutt first made a name for himself. His aesthetic was ancient to match the name, but the Alchemist is a new sinner, some lowlife who thought that because he knew how to make lean in life, he could make a name for himself here and branch out into all sorts of new, hellish drugs. Thing is, addicts are the easiest soul contract you'll ever make. Promise to supply their addiction, and as long as you can, you'll collect souls as quickly as you can make Deals. The Alchemist getting to new Sinners before the Vees get a chance to becomes a problem.

Valentino has plenty of enforcers to take care of uppity wannabe Overlords encroaching on their turf though. The problem should be short-lived.

It isn't.

Vox hasn't been paying much attention to it. These things come and go, as gangsters die and Valentino forces them into submission. Val may focus more on his Porn Studio now, but he got his Overlord status through taking out the old families and cartels, the mobs and mafias running Pentagram City, taking over their drug trafficking and brothels. So Vox didn't worry about it. Val might need direction when dealing with his public persona, didn't know when to tone himself down for polite company, but when the situation called for Val's brand of violence? Vox let him handle it.

He realized, after the drinks at his investor meeting led to him collapsing dizzily to the floor, reaching out blindly for the now non-existent electrical grid and realizing that the building's power had been cut off, that he should have paid more attention to who might have it out for The Vees right now, and which investors weren't in Valentino's pocket.

... He escapes eventually. They may have been smart enough to keep him away from electrical wires, but one finally made the mistake of not putting his phone on airplane mode while recording their captive Overlord, and Vox used it as a jump point.

The damage had already been done.

Val is still ranting about his typical inane drama, and Vox wants nothing more than to look at his phone. He can't do that. Not until his algorithm cleans up any mention of. Himself. In compromising situations. It's being posted faster than the bots can take it down, but at least Vox has turned off any direct messages, blocked the usual pings alerting him every time he's mentioned, and filtered emails to only show what is absolutely and immediately necessary for the continued running of VoxTek. Even that decision has also been posted about online, people making fun of him for not being able to handle the backlash. He used to have a language model AI answering comments and DMs, a personal touch for his fans. It had responded to far too many messages about how good he looked in his latest broadcast with the standard thanks and appreciation for their support, before he disabled it. Vox was sure screenshots of those responses were also still going around.

The Vee's retribution on the other Overlord is to torture him and his inner circle on live video. The Alchemist posted several recordings of Vox's rape online to further humiliate him, so the Vees will pay back like with like, making use of Val's stash of angelic bullets to slowly kill off everyone who touched Vox. Until the Alchemist begs for mercy, tells them he'll give them anything, everything, offering up everything to them, his soul, his territory, all of his Contracts...

Velvette takes the deal. "I'll give you anything," was the phrase they agreed on, "my Contracts, yours. Money, apothecaries, everything, please." They shook on those terms, the Alchemist too out of it at this point to realize that he didn't ask for anything in return for all that he just handed over. Vox shoots him.

His death, his defeat, it doesn't fix anything.

It was supposed to. It was supposed to make everyone stop talking about Vox like he's the new most popular porn star - or at least focus on him when he's in control of the situation. Wasn't that hotter? Filmed professionally by Valentino's best director instead of on a handheld shaking cell phone and. It was supposed to show everyone that you can't mess with The Vees. Wins against them are only temporary. They'll come out on top in the end. But everyone was still talking about old news.

Anyway. Many more thoughts but this is long enough lmao. A huge focus of this multi series wip is how other characters react to it, not just Vox. Like: Valentino has so many issues of his own and he is projecting them onto Vox. Valentino escaped victimhood long ago, and he is no longer the kind of person who can be targeted by abusers or bigots. Vox was his equal. Vox was his.

"Hey! Vox!" There's hands on him and he reels back, but there's nowhere to go. His shoulders are wrenched out of place, arms bound by his own bowtie, nowhere to run. This isn't happening. There's something in his mouth— no there's not?— Bite me and I'll knock out your teeth,* a gruff voice is saying. Vox, they mock, Vox, they ask if he likes hearing his name chanted during. No, Vox! He puts his name on everything, should they brand him with his own logo? Would he like that? He screams when they grab his antenna and wrench his head to the side. "Vox! "You're not listening to me!" Val's expression clears as Vox blinks to awareness. His glare melts into a on of concern. "Are you seriously still thinking about that gangbanger?" Val scoffs. Frowns. Thinks of something with a smile growing across his face. One hand is on Vox's chest, another two on his hips, he guides Vox back, gently. Vox stumbles when he hits the arm of the couch, falling, flailing, landing on his back with an oomf Val crawls over top of him. "Stop thinking about them, Voxxy. You know I can show you a much better time." Vox flinches when Val's hand trails lower onto his thigh, trying to wiggle away for the first time, and Val's brows furrow. "I didn't think you were hurt there," he mutters. "Skin graft," Vox squeaks, breathless. He hated feeling breathless. He didn't even need to breathe.

Velvette, well. She was the person Vox teleported to. He manifested out of her phone and knocked them both to the ground, passing out on top of her. She got the first look at him before any of his technicians were called in to fix things. He came to her. And she can't help but feel responsible for him.

In the video, they fucked him like he was a toy. No, not even that. They treated him with less regard than anyone fucked even a FizzBot. It wasn't a good video. These weren't porn directors. They weren't sex workers who had trained to make this art. It was brutal and it was vulgar and it didn't even look good. Bad angles and shaky camera, but shared tens of thousands of times and the number was still growing. The original had been removed. She made sure of that. But that hadn't stopped its spread, couldn't do anything when people downloaded the video as quickly as they could to reupload it, far too many reposts to track down, especially with Vox still. Offline. She couldn't exactly plug herself into his supercomputer. Velvette was the Social Media Queen. She was the Online Overlord. She was meant to be in charge of The Vees' images online, currating how they presented themselves to that hungry audience. This wasn't supposed to get out of her control. —— But she had posted about Vox in the afteraffects of Val's venom, doped to his gills on the thing she had recreated into Love Potion. She had tagged it for a free promo of her own products. Vox was funny when his tongue was loose and his affection and attention freely given. And Vox thought humanizing himself was important, some twisted idea leftover from life about being "robotic" that dictated his body in the afterlife and left him desperate to be understood as a living, albeit no longer breathing human being. He softened himself to be less of a monster to anyone looking, dressed himself like he wasn't a threat, smiled and laughed and and. It was her idea to capitalize on Val and Vox's relationship. Well, Val was the one who first callously posted about breaking Vox's screen, but it was her idea to turn it into a running joke. It was funny when Val punched Vox and threw things at him and broke his fucking face. It was funny, because unlike bruises and bloody noses, Vox's screen was easily replaceable glass. It broke so easily, anyone who managed to get a lucky hit on him while fighting could no longer feel satisfied by that when Vox's boyfriend did more damage than a rival Overlord could ever manage to. Glass was easy to break. Vox didn't like fighting back, but it was funny, was barely even violence. It meant nothing more than rolled eyes and a swiftly scheduled appointment with a technician to switch out screens. No one was supposed to look at the image she created and come to the conclusion that Vox was easy to subdue. It wasn't supposed to make Vox look weak. It was supposed to make him impossible to hurt, because any damage done was so easy to fix that it was no big deal at all. But. His face was so easy to break. He was so loose limbed and pliant on Love Potion. He might have claws, but he preferred not to use them, hiding behind cameras and screens all day. What the fuck were people supposed to take from that?

Other characters have thoughts too. Alastor isn't online, doesn't know the backstory, but Vox makes his picture shows impossible to miss with displays all over the city. Vox has become unrecognizable. Alastor is disgusted that they used to be acquaintances.

Cherri gleefully sends Angel every vindictive meme about Vox she sees. She wishes it had happened to Valentino instead, but Vox is also profiting off of her bestie's abuse, so he absolutely deserves everything that happened to him and more.

Angel laughed about it at first, but... It doesn't feel right to celebrate anyone's rape. And some of Cherri's comments... Angel has been used to sell this lifestyle to the new talent Valentino wants to make Deals with. He's responsible for ruining so many lives, hanging off Val's arm and telling people how great it is to work for him. And long before that, Angel was involved in the Mafia and, well, like Val himself, they didn't just make money on drugs, did they? Angel wonders if his best friend would be so supportive of him if she knew all this. He wonders of she'd think he deserves his fate too.

Carmilla, like Alastor, is not very online. She hears from her daughters that there's a reason The Vees are doing this, but the girls aren't sharing any details, and don't stay to watch the broadcast Vox has forced onto their TV. She watches The Vees make a Deal with a Sinner and immediately turn around and kill him with one of her weapons. Overlords are meant to protect the Souls that have been entrusted to them. Souls are valuable, the most valuable thing you have to offer anyone. What message is Vox spreading, making mockery of Deals this way, acting like Souls are worthless and can be thrown away. The Vees are just making Sinners less likely to sell themselves to anyone.

Carmilla had scheduled a meeting for fellow Overlords to talk about saving as many Sinners as possible in the upcoming Exterminations. The Vees were meant to attend, but obviously, they are uninterested in keeping the Sinners entrusted to their care alive. She uninvites them. (Vox is still filtering out his emails. He doesn't get this one. The Vees show up anyway.)

Charlie thinks about violence a lot. It's inescapable. She doesn't use her phone much, but she learns what happened to Vox and nearly cries. She makes a post about how violence shouldn't be celebrated and wishes Vox well in his recovery. Days later, she watches Vox take over the television and the three Vees torture the people who tortured him, and she thinks about what will happen when she has the opportunity to reach out to two Sinners who hurt each other. She wants to think they can all be redeemed, that her hotel should be open to anyone. She watches the screen through her fingers, unable to look away as Vox kills the Sinner on his knees before him, cackling. She watches The Vees kiss each other over the dead body, tender and loving, the broadcast ending as Vox rests his screen against Velvette's hair and Valentino wraps all of his arms around the two. And she thinks about forgiveness, and she wonders what she would do if someone hurt Vaggie.

#Stayed Gone battle still happens because Valentino is sick of Vox hiding and goads him into action by telling him about Alastor #“He'd be powerless without the other Vees” hits different this time. everyone already knows this‚ Alastor doesn't need to say it #The Vees are never letting themselves be separated outside of their tower again #(well‚ Valentino isn't as bothered by it as the other two are. but he's not letting them go out alone again) #Velvette is not going out alone tho. she's physically much weaker than Vox. and if someone can do that to Vox... what chance does she have? #she's seen the comments online too. saying she should be next. that her Love Potion has ruined so many people's lives‚ #she should know how it feels #she doesn't drink anything prepared by other people anymore. not after Vox told her how they got to him. #i have so many more Valentino thoughts that didn't get into this post bc i thought it was too long already..................... #it's my blog i can post whatever i want to. i should post about Valentino being so possessive #he's helping Vox!! [proceeds to literally tear open half-healed wounds to fuck Vox so Vox'll stop thinking about other people fucking him] #Val genuinely thinks the solution to being forced to have bad sex is to go and have good sex instead. #Velvette and Val get into many arguments about how to treat Vox and Val's offended that Velvette seems to think Vox is weak #WIP

[glimblshanks]

It's so difficult, because I genuinely do want to understand what the whole deal with Christianity is, but Christians are so apposed to any line of questioning about their belief system (in a way that no other religion is) that if you say anything they don't like they shut down and accuse you of being a sinner.

And it's like bro, I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm trying to understand why this religion is even appealing to you. How do you manage to get so many converts when you're not even willing to answer basic questions about your theology?

Everyone I've found who's actually willing to discuss Christian theology with me is an ex-Christian which is super unhelpful, because ex-Christians are people who have deconstructed Christian belief and come to the conclusion that it doesn't work for them. They're always very cynical about the whole situation. That's not what I'm looking for.

I want to talk to someone who's still into it. I want to understand what actually draws people to this religion ( I do not want to be trauma dumped at - I don't know what aspect of Christian belief confuses y'all into thinking that trauma dumping is an appropriate substitute for theological discussion, but it absolutely isn't).

Like you would really think for one of the most popular religions in the world finding answers to this stuff would be easier. Why can't you guys just talk about your beliefs?

#Christianity #religion #like I just don't understand #if the basic conceit of the religion is that God sent his only son down to Earth so that he could relate to and better understand humans #then I have a lot of questions #because a) if he's a all knowing god why does he need help understanding humans anyway? #b) if you're taking the Bible literally. Why would he then require Jesus to be celibate and die at 30? #like aren't sex and aging and relationships all parts of the human experience that god would want to know about? #and c) if you're taking the Bible metaphorically. The meaning of this story seems to be #that the divine will never truly relate to or understand you. That you are infact so different from the divine #that if an aspect of god came down from the heavens to interact with the people #your sins and the sins of your community as a whole would kill that divinity before it could live out a full human life #which is a genuinely interesting concept! like I would read a novel with that plot #but I don't understand why that's appealing from a faith perspective #is the appeal the act of forgiveness afterwards? #like the divine are so fundamentally different from us that we would kill them but they would forgive us for that difference anyway #why is difference something that must be forgiven rather than accepted? #like do you see why I'm confused by this stuff? #anyways #posting to this blog because a surprising number of Christians follow me here #maybe one of y'all can help me understand

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of the horrors brian goosebumpsphantomoftheauditorium is still So funny for being like yeah i'm a ghost i know i'm a ghost. & he's befriended the horror fan menace duo who are giggling clutching each other like omg omg okay. we're fine. we're breaking into the school at night to investigate the horrors aaaa what if there's a ghost eek ok ok!!! & brian ghost who knows he's a ghost is like omg guys aaaa stopppp ;;m;; suffering thee Most but he's not putting on an act to conceal his phantomly destiny. he's just like that

#it's brian colson i believe (unless it's colsen. but i think colson) but clearly this is clearer #the book was killing me & i'm telling you brian especially. his whole thing is being So nervous about everything all the time #which maybe that's meant to be due to [you Did die; alarmingly] but it really does just seem like Mostly personality #the cadence & content of the exchange where he's bemoaning getting paint on his clothes off to the side lays me tf out #just the dynamic like brooke & zeke are Speculating abt Schemes & Ghosts & being hilarious too; here's tina joining in; also magical #while multiple times people just completely in stride And in earnest respond to brian's complete focus on his paint stains issue #goosebumps the musical #also getting Thank You For Being A Friend points like enduring the deadly trapdoors & mystery of; for all he knew ig; a whole other ghost #he has no stake in that beyond just genuinely helping out / providing what moral support he can lol #and You Know What They Say. you probably could've revealed your ghost status & destiny & Just Asked lmao #but maybe he was too nervous like think i'll have to Haint Style Steal Your Breath or sm shit b/c that's easier than a ghost reveal convo #is that a george costanza style approach? i have never seen a full seinfeld episode. no limits to the time/effort/complexity in avoiding #some comparatively more minor issue / hurdle? i understand the like archetypical achievement character of all time in that for sure.... #like yeah they Are alarmed by the apparent ghost / apparent guy who wants to kill them / you as Actual Ghost but they roll w/it too #cracking open goosebumps of all time The Ghost Next Door... #i also need to crack open (press play) goosebumps the musical phantom of the auditorium original studio cast recording again soon #brian's pleeease let this be a normal field trip to brooke & zeke's beep beep seatbelts everyone! dream team for real #completely innocuous haunting except there's a separate totally unrelated guy taking a totally counterproductive approach to things.... #scooby doo villaining it will Not bring the meddling kids!! if i act scary to said kids they'll learn anything besides that I'm scary!!! #bring emile back here like yeah we'll cover for you for real though. appeal to tina's theatre devotion like become frenemies to friends fr #goosebumps ghosts you Do just fulfill your Purpose & then Transcend but brian was just a guy hanging out prior. could do that again

[starsandthorn]

women 👍

#personal stuff #thorn plays genshin #really cool boss fight and design!! #not quite as difficult as i expected but fun mechanics #also i liked how up close and personal it was. felt more like a duel than the past few real Big bosses like the whale #reminded me of the raiden fight w her just ominously walking towards you with creepy boss music in the bg #AND THE CUTSCENE WOOOO. the traveler seeming genuinely scared. #i was wondering if they were having khaenri'ah flashbacks seeing her crimson moon. hehe. kicks feet in the air #like them thinking abt khaenri'ah when paimon mentions the eclipse hilichurl tribe #i do like how we didn't actually Win. like we've beaten eleven eight and god gundam six #but we barely hold our own against four who's holding back AND with having other people helping us #very fun. even if my personal fear of arlecchino has gone down with each piece of promotional material. #also listening to everyone talk back and forth about oh nooo the knave is doing something terrible #having watched the animated short and also read thru arle's voicelines. is very funny #ALSO TARTAGLIA SHOWING UP. just to show that yes she DID return his vision and he IS okay #he's so funny to me. he fought a whale and was on the brink of death and is like NO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO FONTAINE. #listen ME TOO i want to know more from skirk #i did enjoy them shitting on their coworkers together that was GREAT. i LOVE to see the inter-harbinger beef #and them being on alright terms is nice. i think arlecchino does see him as a kid kind of #also interesting to me that pulcinella and pantalone are seemingly more in charge with certain parts of the fatui as a whole #and that they work Together when they don't seem to get along in the lazzo trailer