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beyondtheciouds · 3 years

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Part 29. 3 of 3

Twas the night before Yulemas and all through the house not a creature was stirring except for a small brown mouse.

The children were all snug tight in their beds. Smiles on their faces as dreams of sugared plums danced in their heads.

Outside, the snow fell in droves and filled the streets, impassible for cars and carriages. The windows were frosted; icles hanging like glittering packages.

The brick and mortar chimnies chain smoked; pairs of lungs coughing ashes.

Dust saturated the fresh snowflakes on snowcapped rooftops; heavy as Lucie's lashes.

The moon was nearly full; the fringe of dawn barely a heartbeat. Lucie didn't hesitate getting out of bed when she suspected Henry and Charlotte were fast asleep.

Her secret plans were already in motion; she was in far too deep.

Tonight Lucie and Grace would wake the one lost in an eternal sleep. The anticipation ran through her bones; sidewinding up her veins like an ivy on a chase.

The candles on the Yulemas tree were long snuffed out; the yuletide log smoldering in the fireplace.

The only sound downstairs was the incessant scratching inside the walls. A mouse was hunting about, searching the halls.

The manor was festive; the decor just right. Charlotte had decorated in odd bright colors; glitter and gold balls. A sight to behold, a treasure left scandously untold.

Mugs of cold, sugared tea and burnt biscuits were dutifully set out by Matthew's sisters in hopes of toys being brought.

They were antsy and fought before bedtime. That is, until Lucie sang them a sweet rhyme.

Earlier, Lucie had been filled with warmth as Henry played carols on the pinafore and the girls sang loudly and off key.

She had spent the evening after supper with Cordelia and Charlotte, knitting sweaters for the three.

Now she felt bitter and upset, but the night wasn't over. No, not yet.

The conversations had flowed so easily between the women in the hours before. Lucie had almost forgot the other demands; the baby she tried to ignore.

But the truth was, she was happy to be doing something productive with her hands.

Lucie enjoyed the conversations even if listening to Charlotte was quite the chore.

Tomorrow was Yulemas but Lucie could not have felt less festive.

Yes, the girl Herondale had become rather quite obsessive.

A solid glance over her shoulder gave her courage in the dark. Cordelia was fast asleep on the opposite bed, stiff like chalk.

Lucie stilled, thinking she heard Oscar bark.

Cordelia's back was turned to Lucie; the long braid resting against the comforter like a serpent.

Cordelia was the only one who wouldn't help and the lack of support streamlined Lucie's determination like a torrent.

Lucie felt guilty, like a sneaky child as she opened her door. She crept out into the candle-lit hall ignorant of the consequences her actions might cause.

A familar frown pressed her lips as she closed the door and paused.

For weeks a string tugged at her, knowing that her freedom was slipping through her finger. Each free moment was ready to disappear; the life with a drinker.

Everything seemed doomed; so unfair.

Selfishly, she assumed tonight was only a prelude to the tired life she would soon have living in the walls of Fairchild Manor or worse: Matthew's downtown London flat.

For hours, Lucie had tried to sleep after adjusting the ribbons on an old hat.

She read Cordelia a chapter or two of a mystery book, then finished with a cup of warm milk.

Poor Lucie begged her brain to shut off long after she was wrapped in cotton and silk.

But Charlotte's voice kept droning on in her ears, until her heart was able to tilt.

"I am really happy that Matthew is with you, Lucie. You do know he is trying quite hard to be a better man for you and the baby. You will be quite a good match for my wild child, and quite happy I assure you."

Lucie was uncharacteristically careless in her response. She had only thought about her own wants.

She whole heartedly disagreed before silencing herself much to Cordelia's horror.

Many times Lucie Herondale had tried to imagine being married to Matthew, just for a minute or an hour.

She pictured having a family, a normal Shadowhunter life with him at her side. A family life like her own.

But she just couldn't picture herself being trapped inside. A bird in a cage; her wings barely flown.

She couldn't stay in the net waiting up for him every night. It was just too much to ask.

Worrying. Wondering if tonight would be the night he'd get in a fatal fight or worse; death by her own axe.

How they would feed their family if he died. How would she live, crumbling on the inside. She didn't even have the faintest idea how he felt about women writers or the socially responsible duties they were to provide.

Lucie didn't have a clue how to be a mother or run a household.

This much she'd been told; they'd be wed under the sacred Shadowhunter vows; their bodies marked each with a matching rune.

After they would go on living as two separate people under the light of the moon.

He would conquer binges of weeks where he'd be drunk daily and purges where he would be sick and sober.

She'd stay home; keep house and take care of the children, and he'd lovingly call her his good luck clover.

This would be a cycle that wouldn't end. It would only grow worse with each year; each baby born on the cusp of regret and condenscend.

That didn't mean living with Matthew Fairchild was hopeless as a snowflake in the rain. Perhaps Lucie was wrong. Perhaps Matthew Fairchild was only in pain.

What the cards were showing Lucie now was just a reality she didn't think she could endure.

The truth was, part of Lucie did love Matthew, so much more. When he bled, she bled in her core.

Nightmares and dreams about him had often haunted her into rejecting his previous advances and now she knew why.

She presumed the dreams were omens; warning her not to abandon the sky.

The Fairchild/ Herondale union had been long awaited for by both families, but particularly by the Consul.

Lucie knew what Charlotte expected of her future daughter-in-law was damn near impossible.

Change Matthew. Fix him.

Lucie dreaded every moment spent under the Consul's watchful eye. Every minute she was in Charlotte's company was as unpleasant as a stye.

As Lucie passed Matthew's room, thinking about the last time he'd held a sober smile, she slowed her pace and stopped short. A groaning noise came from within and Lucie wondered if Matthew had overdone it on port.

His door was open just a crack, enough to see into the chaos of his existence; a dream. The stench of stale cigars and regurgitated gin spilled into the hall; hitting her nose like steam.

Lucie gagged and her heart broke at the sight of him laying like a rag doll among dirty linens.

She hadn't expected him to be home and was shocked to see him in such a position.

Lucie had never been able to read Matthew's mind. Now, she wondered if it might have been a good find if she'd had the time.

Her heart had conceded and concluded any type of relationship with him was out of the question.

Being Matthew's bride had never been a suggestion.

She pretended that had been the reason she never reciprocated his feelings. Not until she plainly understood him and his bad dealings.

A well of sadness filled up inside her as she reached out her hand, shining the witchlight into the darkness of the room. The bed was empty except for Oscar, a pillar in the sand.

As usual, the golden retriever was unaware; sleeping loyally ontop of a ragged blanket tucked under his hand.

She shined the light just above Matthew's sleeping body. His arms were spread, legs tucked tight together; a disgusting hottie.

Distracted by the way the light sweat on his chest gleamed pale under the flickering witchlight, Lucie thought about that night. The sweet smirk that swelled on his face was a haunting memory; a sin and a show. One she had hidden in her bones reminding her of a promise she made to him that felt so long ago.

The breeze was cool; the night hot. Cicadas and crickets staged their favorite tunes in an effort to provide a sonata. Not a cloud nor haze flooded the starlit sky; only fireflies lit up the night. Shades of blue from the lake lit her eyes with a warm glow. Lucie watched Matthew with anticipation as her skin grew warmer from every sip of his flask.

Do you love me? Matthew's hot breath on her neck. His lips were fire; hot cinnamon liquor burning her skin with each devious kiss on her flesh.

Yes. Everything would have been yes to him in the heat of that moment. Her hands were beyond confinement and reached eagerly for the buttons on his waistcoat.

Do you promise, Lucie darling? His green eyes were dark, serious under the stars.

I promise. And she meant it. Or she thought she did.

I love you, Lucie Herondale. You're the only one besides James that means anything to me. This is for forever. I swear on my life.

I love you too. Her lips against his were ice on fire; electric and numbing the voice screaming in her head.

Lucie blinked, rolling out of her reverie with the grace of someone used to disappearing into herself.

Matthew was still sprawled out, drool trickled down, out of his mouth.

His hand rested among the fresh vomit and spit on the rug. He was still in his rumpled navy pants and his belt was half undone; broken as the wings of a dead bug.

Stained socks and muddy shoes were discarded in a heap. It was as if he meant to climb in bed and instead just collapsed on the floor, fast asleep.

Lucie wondered if she should wake him; maybe help him into bed or the bath.

Matthew was snoring loudly; the sound sheilding his lips like a mask.

Lucie frowned, watching him and the moment of charity pass.

Matthew stirred and kicked out his leg. He groaned and rolled his head in torment and wrath. "Luce...Lucie. please. PLEASE. Forgive me. Forgive me."

Lucie sighed and flipped the braided pigtails over her shoulders, disgusted and disappointed instead. She shook her head at Matthew, her heart turning to ice.

How could she ever love him like this? The strings of her heart pulled her into a vice.

Lucie knew she wasn't entirely being nice.

At least now she knew Math was safe and breathing. One crisis averted. Now she could stop caring for awhile and continue seething.

Butterflies rolled inside her belly as the baby turned; shifting positions as if it sensed his father's presence and his mother's disgrace.

Lucie tried not to cry as she quickly shut Matthew's door, glad for him to be out of her sight at least for the night.

Lucie Herondale knew she'd be learning a hard lesson in faith.

The manor was cold, bitter like her uncharacteristic temperament. It was just the way Lucie liked things lately; quiet without comment.

The cold made her feel closer to death; closer to Jesse's spirit.

He was quite the opposite of Matthew who had the most obnoxious tendency to be satiric.

She warmed her heart as she thought about the ghost and his quiet, melodic ways. She imagined him in the sunlight; alive during the days.

Lucie became once more determined to save his soul. A debt that was unpaid; a secret not to be told.

Christopher and Grace had snuck downstairs after the lights went out. They were headed to the lab without a doubt.

Christopher thought he might have figured out a chemical compound needed in the spell Grace had shown him during tea and lemon tarts that afternoon.

James promised to guard the door as Thomas occupied the insomniac old housekeeper with a card game and some gin. Every one was in their places; helping Lucie's cause and Lucie shivered, feeling Matthew's hands still on her skin.

A whistle helplessly escaped her lips as she moved down the hall. She felt slightly more optimistic, smiling and all.

Lucie could feel the hairs on her arms rise, theories becoming reality. She felt Grace and her were getting closer to the right order of the specialty.

Goosebumps coated her bare arms as her feet padded quietly towards the music room; the hem of the nightgown billowing around her ankles like a flowers bloom. She tried not to skip like a schoolgirl.

The witchlight she cupped in her hands bounced off the walls; reflecting the contemporary colors in various variations of self portraits and Lucie couldn't help but look down at her hand; Matthew's ring and his pearl.

Suddenly, she was breathless. She stopped; reckless.

Something was wrong.

Someone was watching.

Someone was waiting.

Most of the walls were covered with expensive self paintings. Here and there; scattered were exquisite Idris countryside landscapes which Lucie found intoxicating.

Minature statues and other odd art were strategically placed on pedestals along the walls. Flowers on tables; Oscar Wilde inspired green carnations graced the hall; smelling pecularily of mint and clover during the fall.

This was Matthew's wing and it was freely decorated over. An artist's heart trapped in a body lacking talents. Everything was either beautiful or tragic to him; a man of great gallant.

Nothing was traditional or logical. Should it be to a man of illogical graces?

Lucie noticed the bright green of his eyes in some of the faces. They seemed to move slowly and appeared to be following.

She ignored their name calling as she caught her breath and moved on into the fray. The eerie feeling reminded her of Matthew's favorite legend; Dorian Gray. The fear that story brought back drowned out any other excuse she may have had for being frightened.

Lucie shook slightly as she quickened; her toes were red and numb as her limbs tightened. She scolded herself for venturing this far in the manor for a waste of a shortcut. Down this demented, self loathing hallway she desperately desired a peanut.

She hated that she discarded Matthew's privacy so blatantly. Even moreover her eagerness to meet Jesse hastily.

It had been almost a week since they'd met in private. The time spent apart dramatic.

In all the time she had been in the manor, she had never been in one of the extravagant rooms he uses. He had always forbid it and come to her; insisting she was the favorite among his muses.

Lucie was reminded of the story of Beauty and the Beast, which she found odd and sad at the very least.

Down the stairs, nearly tripping over her feet. Lucie felt a strange tingle on her sheet of skin as she reached the doors to the music room. She took a deep breath and pulled the solid oak doors open and slam against the wall with a boom. "Jesse?"

The moonlight greeted her; pure and silver like a star. Lucie was awestruck by what she saw.

In it's center was a black grand piano; to the left was another Yulemas tree twinking with candles, surrounded with gifts. The branches were strung with gold ribbons and mistletoe adrift.

The shapes of the gifts were shadows on the ceiling; fingers beckoning to the great beyond. Lucie could sense other spirits shamelessly coiling in the dark corners; not ready to move on.

Jesse was tired, trembling and translucent. Lucie felt like she on a boat on the rocking seas. His body was perched on the bench; his hands poised above the ivory keys. His head was lowered; ink stains on the pure, paper skin of his face.

Lucie gasped, parched. She could see he was singing an old Welsh song quietly by the light of a illuminating hearth. She smiled as his fingers instinctively played the tune in the air.

He was beautiful and fair.

Lucie hushed the intrusive and intricate shape of a story taking place in her head. She didn't want to break the moment, but she had to say something to make her heart stop racing and her breath like lead.

"Hello," she whispered to the dead.

#cassandra clare #the last hours #lucie herondale #the shadowhunter chronicles

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fourletterworld · 3 years

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Getting Lost - Was a Big Brother

Cody, Myself, and four of our best friends hiked the fantasy trail of Big Sur, some 7 miles up into the sky. As night approached, we tucked down off the trail into a small camping area and safely lit a fire near a stream. Here we pumped drinking water into our bottles through a filter. I remember feeling so physically tired, it was the only feeling in me. We made dinner in flame light then made our tents in spotty shadows. It was cold, and we'd fallen asleep quickly.

The next day was crisp and beautiful. We'd made breakfast, coffee and tea and talked a while before heading out to walk off the path into the wilderness. We jumped across the creek where boulders stood out of the shallow depth. After the six of us got across my friend Bob passed out micro doses of mushrooms from a cloudy plastic bag. We chewed them up and continued walking into the trees along the creek. Nothing of note crept into my head, but I have a snapshot of looking back at my friends through the trees and seeing sunlight spill through the canopy onto the green forest floor. There was an Irish glow among the rich tree bark and moss.

Someone mentioned that it looked like we were in an old Skittles commercial. Slow unconscious laughs built as we smiled half-lucidly at one another. The effect began to slow some of us down until we stopped at a clearing and briefly sat. Cody and two others decided to keep hiking while I stayed with the other half.

We talked for a while and observed everything within eyeshot. I felt the stillness of a tree growing through my head. The misty sounds of nature began to strike out with colors of awareness. Suddenly I was conscious of the bird calls, and not in the ordinary way when their beauty serves as the backdrop to one of my moods. Instead, I heard their sounds as though they were strangers with first names I didn't know. They were communicating primal information with the worry of survival in their tone. They weren't having a pleasant day in the wild, they were locked in the grind of their reality. I felt sad for their consistent stress. The concern to live up to nature's expectations is so much to put on a creature. It wasn't their fault.

The plants around me gently moved in a soft breeze. Their limbs reached up to the skylight like a baby wanting its mother. They were as alive as starfish, having fixed themselves to the trunks of larger somber giants. The distant sun sat and burned like a far away look. A look that only time will snap someone out of. This sad poem is why we fall in love, I thought. It all hurts with the innocent anticipation of a loose tooth not ready to come out.

After a time of being unusually quiet in the presence of others, I crept away by myself down to the trickling stream we'd been following. In some sort of dreamy trance, I gently touched my face as I looked down into the water. There was a troubled curiosity in my tremendously large pupils. It was the little kid unwound inside of me; the one I'd twisted hard into a man. Currents pulled at my reflection like smeared paint clinging to an image. Shards of light formed on the folds of water like cuts.

The tired old question walked through my thoughts: "who am I?" This time, it didn't feel like the ethereal philosophical question. It was more like I was trying to make sense of the thing I saw reflecting in the water: The dark pool-eyed organic machine, the adult and the teen, the arrested development, the ill-defined aged of an angst ridden masculine spirit.

I've applied stereotypes to myself my whole life: being a punk rocker, a musician, an artist, a romantic, a good person, a drinker, and all sorts of things that maybe I'm not. They're all just lines of rope I've thrown out which I follow after to see where they might lead me. Being a big brother was something more than that. It was beyond me and rooted in the physical world. It was an anchor that'd dropped down as soon as Cody was born.

These thoughts swam through that river until concern began to gather and pulled me back into the moment. I'd begun to feel some kind of tension pulling at the line between Cody and I. He had hiked away and was possibly too far from me, and I started to wonder if he was okay.

"Hey guys! How long have they been gone?!" I shouted up the small ravine. "They're fine D." my friend Dave called, probably anticipating some psilocybin anxiousness. His assumption that I was paranoid was warranted, but I felt rational in my fear and knew it couldn't be articulated under scrutiny. I walked a short way in the direction the others continued hiking and looked. I didn't see anyone so I began calling Cody's name with my loud voice into the wilderness. I heard the emptiness of the hills as my voice faded through them, and a terrorizing feeling of finality landed. The fear was rooted in the possibility of never getting him back.

What if they'd eaten more mushrooms than I had and got confused and lost? I was worried for all of them, but I was responsible for my brother. The anchor was somewhere beneath dark water and I didn't know if the rope had been torn. I began making all sorts of promises to some God that I never kept. I started to feel the knot in my throat.

There was darkness growing in the mountains. Tall pine shadows loomed and collected over the retreating fragments of sunlight. The pleated hills began to look treacherously prosaic, as if no new word would ever come out of its ravine. It would never unearth my little brother or anything else ever again. I called again, deep and loud, and like a miracle transmission I heard Cody faintly calling back just as loudly from somewhere off in the trees. His voice, when he yelled, sounded just like mine.

"Oh, fucking Christ, thank god", I sighed.

Moments later he'd walked through the trees. Bleach blonde hair and emerald rimmed owl eyes, smiling at the corners. Cody came to me for an instinctive hug. "I'm sorry Dust" he'd said. He could hear the fear in my voice even at its highest threshold of volume.

"Don't be sorry, don't be sorry," I replied as I hugged him tightly. Later, shrouded in twilight, I sat next to him at the fire. I tried to express how tangibly worried I was for him. I’d felt him extracted from my life in that moment, and how terrified that made me.

I'd gone on longer, exhausting my point. The mushrooms hadn't completely waned and the panic continued to play, but the cause for fear was so present it was like I had suddenly felt through the material of time. I’d somehow grasped the shape of that fucked up day that waited for me years ahead. I had no way of aligning that sort of rationale at the time, but in hindsight it’s the best way to explain the reality of that scare. It never felt like it was in my head.

Cody listened, patient and contemplative with a lit cigarette. At some point he interjected, "Yeah, but Dust, I'm fine. Everything's okay. Everything was always okay the whole time. You were just worried over nothing".

He said this smiling, as though to model what emotion we should had both been feeling in that moment. He then leaned in and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I took his two clasping hands with mine and closed my eyes. He saw the concern but not my fear, but I knew I had to concede in expressing my worry for him. I'd always have to learn when it was okay to get my point across and when to let life be life. I had to let go of control.

I've always had problems with control because it eludes me. My life has always been out of my control. Not really caring to embrace my strengths and desiring my weaknesses has put huge cracks throughout my being. My self-hood is like broken up continents, and my goal is to form it all back into Pangea. I move something to the center and something else floats away. It's like I don't have room for the whole being I want to be. I fall in love, I become dependent. I find peace, I become boring. I get inspired, I become manic. I have fun, I lose my way.

And I don't want balance. I see balance like a constant sacrifice. I want the choice to be all in, on one side or another, the good and the bad all at one time. I want the full glass now and no glass later.

That is, I had my mind made up in this way until Cody passed. Once I lost him, these fragmented continents weren't just staid floating islands. Gravity suddenly shut off, and they lifted from their watery globe and suspended in disorientation. I'd seen all parts of myself lift from the anchor of my brother and carry out above me and into the atmosphere. Now there is no center to draw things back into, and there are some pieces leaving my weak gravitational field forever. I lay in bed afraid of this new upheaval, not knowing my feelings anymore, and watching them continue to go and go and go.

They've been ripping away from me so consistently and slowly over this last 16 months that the pain has become ambience. My spirit has been tuned to the lowest universal frequency of heartbreak. The longest waves of sadness.

But I keep it together. All of life is too short to let anyone else get tangled in this chaotic orbit of mine, and I think I've become just strong enough to keep it in during the day. Meanwhile this slow-moving shrapnel drifts along, finely opening new aspects of a heart I'd never known. There are things that feel possible in ways that surprise and sometimes shock me. There are days now where I get out of the shower and rub away the fog on the mirror and remember looking into the water. Now it isn't a question of who I am, but who am I becoming, and will any of this ever land again? Did the universe set my heart so it can heal in alignment or is my true nature lost in some ethereal flux?

There's an animal body looking at me and the human has been knocked into a daze. The eyes in the coal mine sockets remind me of those prosaic hills, with the person behind the wheel having retreated inward to crippled shadowy memories. They don’t hold anything to the same beautiful standard any longer. It’s all become possible with nothing inside of myself to protect anymore. The gate has been left wide open and as I stare at my eyes I wonder if I'll ever really come back again.

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dancing-mihint · 4 years

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Mor Dhona is robed in early twilight, the sight doubly welcome to the Scions of the Seventh Dawn - home, and the night, and their friends, together at last.

Thancred, Y’Shtola, and Urianger are celebrating with something that makes them pale when Krile approaches their table - and Thancred shoves his as yet-undrunk glass at her in a blatant bribe. She takes it with a wry little smile, and Thancred fetches himself another glass with good humor.

The Twins are off - Alisaie doubtless practicing her martial arts, and Alphinaud is curled up in bed with a book and a lamp, so there are precious few who would be brewing a kettle at this point of night, when everyone is still celebrating their return.

Of the tea-drinkers, only one would leave the drawers ajar and tea tins strewn about - so Thancred takes the honey out of its cabinet and leaves it in plain sight. A good deed to offset the ones he’s committed - or may yet commit, as no fewer than three women wink at him as he comes back.

In their cups, they politely ignore the Warrior of Darkness - none who spent time in the First can yet call her the Warrior of Light again, Specters looming large in their memories still - as she winds her way through the tables and out the door. They are less able to politely ignore the one who now stands before them, ears canted in a distinctly anxious manner.

“Have you seen Mihint?” G’raha Tia asks, tail twitching and hands wringing.

“She went out for some air, I believe,” Krile says.

“Alone?” Really, his ears and tail, long hidden, seem to be intent on making up for lost movement. Thancred and Y’shtola share a glance, smirks limited to a crinkling of the eyes.

“You’re right, Raha.” Krile’s expression is far too innocent. “Perhaps you ought to make sure she doesn’t stumble into an adventure without us?”

The newest Scion nods and jogs off, trying and failing to appear cool.

Once he’s out of earshot, Y’shtola chuckles lightly. “Krile, was that wise?”

Krile shrugs and sips daintily at her drink, “He might as well start getting used to hunting for her at night, or finding her the next morning asleep somewhere odd. She used to sleep on that statue of Rhalgr at the Reach…”

—

Mor Dhona is never truly dark, though few have problems seeing - even with Menphina barely-lit, he has no need for torches. Or much of a need to search at all, as it seems - for just outside of town, perched where she can overlook Silvertear Lake, is Mihint Elakha, Warrior of Darkness. She’s gazing up at the sky - or at the Crystal Tower - her back to the road and wholly unguarded.

It’s an illusion, he thinks, though he draws worryingly close before her ears twitch to track his footsteps.

“Mihint,” he says softly.

She turns, and he’s startled to see the gleam of tears in her eyes. “G’raha. Is something wrong?”

“You… well you went out rather suddenly. Not trying to adventure without me, are you?” The joke feels heavy as it leaves her mouth, and he’s ashamed as tears track down her cheeks.

“Never,” she says, every bit as fervent as when she promised to take him on her next adventure.

He steps forward at that, his hands raised as if to reach - but he’s still unsure, still unused to having to bridge the gap.

“I was speaking to Menphina,” Mihint says, and of course - Keepers of the Moon traditionally worshipped The Lover. “But won’t you stay?” She smiles a little, “The others will thank you for keeping me from falling asleep out here.”

“If-if I may.” She pats the ground beside her and he settles. “What a doleful view for the hero of two stars,” he says.

“A view to suit my mood,” she says simply, and turns back to stare up at the moon, barely lighter than the sky itself.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, staring at her with concerned attention, his ears pricked to hear her every shift and breath.

“G’raha, I saw you turned to crystal,” her voice cracks on the last word. “I was so afraid it wouldn’t work, that I’d failed you and everyone. That I’d never get to adventure with you - when it’s all I wanted since you told me of your dream. Without you, the Scions, would I become the beast Elidibus believed me to be? Alone and lonely, violating the spirit of my oaths for the words of it, propelled by naught but glimmers of memory and regret?”

“He called you a beast?” His voice jumps in alarm. “You are not, you are an inspiration to all who meet you, the Warrior of Darkness -“

“I know,” she says, her voice small. She scrubs at her face with her hands. “And Menphina helps me remember. My mother used to joke that She blessed me with love - with so much love that I can’t help but fall a little bit in love with everything. She said it would keep me from falling into despair. I didn’t understand as a kit, but I do now.” She sighs heavily, “I have to be brave when I’m fighting - and it’s easy to be. You say you’re in awe of me, but I’m not sure I could do what you did. It’s so hard to be brave when you’re alone, when you can’t see the enemy, when you don’t know where to put your feet. I’m sure they don’t write of this - but always, after the battles, comes sleepless nights. And nightmares.”

He leans closer, his shoulder brushing against hers. “I had no idea,” his voice is quiet, pained. “And I’ve added to your burden -“

“Oh, come off it, G’raha,” she snaps with little heat, “I’d’ve been lost without you. I’d’ve been dead. You saved me and you guided my steps as surely as you did those on the First. And you did it well,” and her face breaks into a small smile. “And you’re here now.”

His face colors, and his gaze drops to his knees.

She sighs, her face settling into a less-somber thoughtfulness than before, and she reaches for the flask beside her and takes a sip. “Want some?”

It’s not alcohol at least, he can smell apple-like chamomile and sweet honey, and he takes the offered flask and sips. It’s far too sweet for him, and he coughs politely and hands it back.

She takes another sip and leans against him lightly. When he doesn’t pull away she relaxes a little more. “Tomorrow, bring your own tea if you don’t like how I fix it.”

He chuckles, “Was that tea? I thought it hot water and honey. Mostly honey.”

Mihint’s ears twitch in irritation at his teasing, but her voice is warm when she responds, “I don’t take culinary critique from anyone who can eat Archon Loaf with a straight face.”

He clucks, but really, there’s no response to that, and he doesn’t even try.

When she starts to go slack and heavy against him, he shakes her gently. “Come on, come on then. You should sleep in a bed when you can.” His own yawn threatens to crack his jaw. “And if we spend too much time out here I might fall asleep, and that’s not the foot I wish to start off on.”

Mihint’s chuckle is fuzzy with sleep. “You’re just afraid of Krile’s teasing.”

“And you aren’t?” G’raha says, helping to her feet.

Her smile is broader than it’s been in days, though still soft, her eyes struggling to stay open. “I’m not afraid of anything with you here.”

When they stumble back, the Scions are still deep in their cups. Urianger is reciting poetry, Y’shtola is nodding along with bleary seriousness, while Thancred and Krile make no secret of their amusement.

It’s easy in the bustle for them both to head back to their beds, and to sleep.

#wol!mihint #wol x g’raha if you squint #no read more break bc this hellsite won’t let me post on desktop sorry #no beta because fuck it

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a-dreamer-named-mars · 5 years

Text

Imagine Being Jamie's Wife and Being Pregnant

"You ready?" Jamie asked while you were fixing your make up in the mirror.

"Yes... I'll be right there." You said before sighing and looking out the bedroom door, observing your boyfriend as he was doing something on his phone.

Jamie was extra worried and anxious today. He and his partner - Eddie Janko - were facing charges about a case gone bad and the hearing was on Monday and he was wreck ever since this whole thing started. In fact, if you thought about it, you were both a wreck that night. Jamie had opened the front door that night and you ran to him, hoping to tell him the good news - you had just come home from the doctor's and you had just found out you were pregnant with your first child - , you wanted to tell him, only he never gave you the chance. Before he closed the front door behind him he was already rambling and telling you everything that had happened and how his job was on the line. You simply could not tell him in that moment. But he's been anxious ever since that night and the right moment never came.

The theme at dinner couldn't be worse - kids. Bringing new lives into the world, the joy of looking at your baby for the first time, the sleepless nights that are worth it all... And Jamie was taking it very well, probably way too well for someone who was going to become a dad in nine months and yet he still didn't know about it.

"I got to deliver a baby once and it was by far the best thing I've done in all these years of being a cop." Jamie said before taking a bite of his food. The smile wasn't unnoticed, and Henry was the one who had the guts to ask what everyone at that table was dying to know.

"You ever thought about having kids? The two of you, I mean?"

"Yes, of course!" Jamie responded for the two of you. You hated it when he did that. "We're waiting and hoping to start our own family together as soon as possible."

Everyone around the table focused their attention on the two of you and seemed pretty happy with the response they'd gotten from Jamie. You smiled and nodded in agreement, resuming to eating the food on the plate.

"You're quiet." Jamie broke the silence when he stopped the car at a red light. You could feel his eyes on you although it didn't matter the least bit, you couldn't look at him at the moment.

"What do you want me to say?" You asked flatly.

"Anything, really. Silence isn't the answer for your problems, if you're facing any right now."

"How would you know if I was having problems, uh?" You rotated your neck, allowing yourself to look at him.

"I wouldn't know, you're not telling me."

The conversation didn't go any further. You didn't want to talk to him, couldn't talk to him. Maybe it was the hormones, you thought. Not wanting to waste any more minutes of your precious night off, you quietly made your way to the bedroom, took off your clothes and put on your pajamas, and went to bed, dozzing off to sleep like a baby. The hearing was tomorrow and if everything went well, Jamie would come home in a better mood, making it easier for you to break the news to him.

* * *

Monday came and thankfully, they won. The hearing went great, Jamie's (and Eddie's) job wasn't at risk anymore and he was more than in a good mood when he called you on the phone during your lunch break, asking you to meet him and his partner at the usual pub, to celebrate the good news. You smiled and accepted the offer, knowing tonight was the night you were going to tell him, there was no other way.

"Hey you two! Congratulations!" You said as you walked inside the bar and sat down on the chair next to Jamie's, at the table the partner's were already sitting at. You kissed your husband on the lips and then gave Eddie a side hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks." Eddie said with a smile. "It's so good to see you, (Y/N), I haven't seen you in such a long time!"

"Since the Christmas party, right?" You joined your eyebrows in confusion as you gave it a thought. There was no way pregnancy brain was already doing its trick, this was all you and your messy brain.

"Yes!" Eddie smiled and nodded before taking a sip of her drink.

"I'm gonna order some drinks for you," Jamie said as he got up from his seat. "And a refill for me and Eddie. What do you want?" He bent down to ask you.

"Oh, uh... Sparkling water would be fine." Jamie frowned in confusion. You were usually a big drinker, so he found your request rather strange, but didn't say anything and made his way to the bartender.

"No tequilla tonight?" Eddie asked with a miscevious smile. "What's up?"

"I'm... pregnant."

"Oh! Really? Congratulations!" Eddie smiled and gave you a hug. "Jamie didn't tell me anything."

"He doesn't know yet...I was going to tell him but that day he came home upset and the right moment never came and then we had a fight last night. I honestly don't know if I should tell him or not. Or when!"

Eddie rubbed your arm with her hand, comforting you. "I think you should tell him, he'll be thrilled."

Suddenly a wave of nausea hit you and you had to leave and rush to the bathroom. Eddie followed you and helped you clean yourself up after you puked your guts out.

"You should go home, I'll tell Jamie."

You left the ladie's room and after grabbing your coat and your bag, you left the crowded bar and went home.

"Where's (Y/N)?" Jamie asked when he arrived at the table with drinks in his hands.

"Oh, she... She wasn't feeling very well and she went home. I think you should be with your wife, Jamie. I'll finish these drinks, don't worry. What matters is we won the case!"

Jamie agreed and after grabbing his belongings, he too made his way home, finding you in the kitchen, making yourself some tea.

"Hey, what's up? Eddie told me you weren't feeling well." He closed the door behind him and took off his coat, hanging it on the long hanger you had on the hall.

"Jamie, I need to tell you something." You turned around and walked to the couch carrying your tea mug and placing it on the coffee table before sitting down.

"What's the matter? You're scaring me." Jamie walked up to you and took a seat next to you on the couch.

"I'm pregnant." When Jamie didn't say anything, you continued. "We're having a baby."

Jamie was a man of few words and as the man of few words he is, he didn't say anything before kissing you and hugging you. "I'm so happy."

"Really?" You asked with a giggle.

"Yes! How long have you known?"

"A few days... I didn't say anything right away because you had your hearing and you didn't know for sure if you were gonna keep your job or not, and I don't know... I guess I was afraid of your reaction but then you seemed so eager about having a baby on Sunday I just... I was confused that's all." You explained yourself before Jamie leaned in and kissing your lips, like it was the very first time they were touching. It felt eletrical, magical... Special.

* * *

Author's Note: So so sorry for the long wait! But it's finally here!!! I hope everyone is having a great week! Don't forget to vote, comment and add this little book right here to your reading list so you don't miss out on any chapters. Jamko wedding is almost around the corner, who's excited? I can't wait! Have you watched A Star Is Born? Did you like it? I loved it so much I couldn't stop thinking about it and my brain came up with a story where the ending isn't the same and some changes have occurred in the Maine family. It's called Far From The Shallow, why don't you check it out? Xoxo, Mars

#jamie reagan #imagine #cbs #blue bloods #jamie reagan imagine #love #family #pregnant #romance #excerpt from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #writer #reader

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jessestjamesnyc · 5 years

Text

Para: Realizations Pt 2

TAGGING: @nycjessestjames & @dariuspuckerman

LOCATION: Jesse’s apartment

DATE: Sunday Oct. 6th, evening (later in the day than Part One)

SUMMARY: Post birthday weekend events, nsfw material

STATUS: Finished

Darius: No matter how much of a good time they always had together, taking Gabriel back to his mom was painful. Three days were never enough, but it was all he had. For now. He was delighted to hear his son going on and on about how much he had enjoyed the play, but it didn’t take long before he had fallen asleep in the back seat, so he had to pick him up and give him to his mom. He waved goodbye and got into his car. Another Sunday was over. Almost three hours after they had left the theater he was walking out of his favorite italian grocery store in town, with a bag on one hand and a six pack beer in the other. A crazy idea had been swimming in his mind ever since he set wheels back in town, and before even realizing it, he was putting it down on a text for Jesse. “Hey. I was wondering if tonight is too early to take you up on that invitation.”

Jesse: Jesse was leaning against the counter in his the kitchen of his new apartment, lamenting how empty it felt currently. The couch had apparently been delivered while he was out - he assumed Chelsea had still been home since there it sat, in the middle of the otherwise empty living space - so at least he’d have somewhere to sit and stare at … well, nothing. He’d spent the last few months moving on from his marriage, but the last and final push he needed was to just break free of the things that had once been “theirs”. Starting with the apartment, yes, but all the furniture as well. He’d sold or given it all away and now the new stuff was being delivered slowly. The boxes they’d carted across town sat piled in the spare room (soon to be the nursery) and some in the other rooms as well. But for the most part, it was an empty slate. He felt his phone buzz and sighed, taking it out, assuming it was Louis or Chelsea. When he saw Darius’ name pop up he clicked on it maybe a little too fast, and read over the text. He… oh. Yes, he did invite Darius over. He distinctly remembered feeling awkward about it. He glanced back up, looking at the empty apartment and wondered what the hell he’d even have to offer him to do. But he didn’t want to say no. He knew Darius hated having to drive to drop his son back off and see him go, and truthfully - he didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to spend more time with the man. There was just something about him, that made Jesse want to know him better. He looked down at himself, in sweats and a light jumper and shrugged to nobody, typing a quick reply. “Not at all. But I have to warn you, my apartment is pretty boring right now since we only moved in yesterday. So if you don’t mind an empty apartment, and boxes piled up, then you’re more than welcome”. He sent it, then realised he didn’t even tell Darius his new address (not that he had his old one), so he quickly added it in a second message.

Darius: Darius stared down at his own message for what it felt forever and sighed. What the hell was he thinking asking Jesse to go over to his place?? It was too soon, it was definitely too soon, and the other would now probably freak out over it and go into silent mode for days. He smacked the steering wheel and dropped his phone onto the seat beside him, and he was starting his car up when the reply came. At first he was apprehensive to read it but he did it anyway, and a smile came upon his face when he read it. Almost as giddy as a teenager boy (huh?!) he quickly typed his response after also reading the address. “I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’m quite adjustable, haha. Hey, that’s almost near the theater! See you in a few!” He put the phone and drove off down the street, then turned to the left to go the way he needed to go.

Jesse: Jesse chuckled at Darius reply, setting his phone down on the counter. Yes, his new apartment was close to the theatre by design. Ultimately, he wanted to save as much money as possible and that - combined with his share of the sale of their old apartment - would allow him to buy an apartment in the future. But apartments in New York weren’t cheap, but he and Rachel were very fortunate to have been able to purchase an apartment when they did. He debated getting redressed, but he doubted Darius would mind all that much… he was pretty sure it would be weird if he was still in his clothes from earlier. So he stayed in the sweats and jumper, waiting for the buzzer to go off so he could buzz Darius upstairs.

Darius: Darius did a double take on his phone when he stopped by what he believed was the right building, and after making sure he got it right he parked the car properly and grabbed the bag and the beers before locking it up and headed up the steps that led to the main entrance. He pressed the button to the apartment on the panel and waited.

Jesse: When Jesse heard the buzzer he jumped a little, despite expecting it, and pressed the okay to allow Darius to come up. He opened the door as Darius knocked on it, and stepped aside, “Sorry about the apartment. Wasn’t kidding when I said it’s a bit… well, pathetic at the moment. Except my sister’s room, she decked that out. She’s staying with me for the time being. Though she’s not here right now. Not that … uhh, come in?” He realised he was still standing in front of the doorway and stood aside so Darius could actually walk in. “I wasn’t really expecting to hear from you tonight,” he admitted, shutting the door closed behind Darius.

Darius: Darius quickly fixed his jacket and hair before knocking on the door, then as he saw and listened to Jesse while he stood on the middle of the doorway he chuckled, then nodded. “Okay, thanks! He took that one step inside and looked around. "Don’t apologize. It’s to be expected when you’ve just moved.” He turned on the spot when Jesse closed the door and shrugged. “I… wasn’t planning on taking you up on that offer so soon either. But I was walking out of Nico’s Deli, only like my favorite italian grocery shop in the city, and figured this was way too good to eat alone. Not… that… I don’t usually eat alone, because I do, but I-” He sighed. “- I didn’t feel like being alone. Don’t know why. Anywayyyy-” He handed him the bag. “There’s prosciutto and some cheese in there, also bread and grapes. And this-” He shook the six pack beer in front of Jesse and chuckled. “So I figure we could eat this on the floor, japanese style, if it comes to that, and I still wouldn’t mind.”

Jesse: Jesse pressed his lips together to suppress a smile and took the bag from Darius. “It’s fine, I know all about not wanting to eat alone. And it sounds delicious… I’m not normally a beer drinker, but I’ll take you up on that. Oh, I have a couch!” He said, sounding pleased for a moment and then realised that the couch in question was still covered in the packaging, “it’s just… well, it only got delivered today and I wasn’t home to unpack it. We can pull all the packaging off and test it. Or I can just get a blanket to sit on.”

Darius: Darius chuckled. “I can help you get the plastic off, but I don’t know you all that well to know you won’t freak out about us eating bread and cheese on it, especially when it’s brand new. But the way I see it, it should be used at some point, right?”

Jesse: Jesse shrugged, “I don’t mind about that. You don’t seem like someone who’s going to drop it all over the couch so it’s fine.” They made quick work of the plastic on the couch, revealing the soft fabric underneath. Jesse never liked leather couches and with this one being a pull out bed for guests as well, they’d opted for fabric, but not suede. “See, easy.” He piled the plastic and Styrofoam up in the corner.

Darius: Darius sat down on the couch while Jesse took the plastic away, carefully placing the food on top of the paper bag he had brought it all in, at least until Jesse would see if he had a cloth, or even a tray they could use. He pulled two cans of beer and left them within reach for when they would be needed.

Jesse: Jesse grabbed a box that was full something, and a tea towel, and set up a makeshift coffee table for them to use and put everything on. Since the box was full it wasn’t likely to cave in. “If Sirius starts whining I’ll let him out of Chelsea’s room, but he was asleep earlier so I just shut the door.” He paused, then realised Darius probably didn’t know who he was talking about, “Sirius is Chelsea’s dog. He’s a good dog, but he’s only a puppy and since he was asleep, I figured he’d be fine in there.” He reached for the beer and cracked the seal. “So you dropped Gabriel off?”

Darius: Darius laughed and nodded. “I kinda figured that one out, otherwise I’d be concerned as to why that Sirius dude would be locked up in there. Is your sister a Potterhead? Hence the name?” He fixed the plate with the cheese on top of the box Jesse had put out, also placing the prosciutto plate on it.

Jesse: “This looks really good,” Jesse commented, “I can understand why you didn’t want to eat alone. And mmm, she is. His full name is actually Sirius Black. She shouldn’t have got him, not really. She moved in with me after the whole thing with Rachel blew up, and she had a fight with her roommate… but my old apartment building didn’t allow dogs and then one day she just comes home with a dog. It was a paperwork nightmare, but they let her keep him only because we were moving out shortly after. Shortly after became a bit longer but you know, we’re here. And close to the theatre district, like you said. Couldn’t quite afford to buy before the sale went through, so this is just temporary hopefully.” He reached forward and took a piece of the cheese, “I’m kind of surprised you messaged me though. I would have thought you would have messaged Louis,” he said, trying to keep the hint of jealously out of his voice because that shouldn’t be there.

Darius: Darius fashioned himself a mini sandwich with some prosciutto and cheese. “This place is nice, I like it. And can’t better with it being close to where you work. Gotta appreciate that in a traffic crazy city such as this.” He handed one of the beers to Jesse and opened one for himself, then shrugged. “Your invitation was the first thing that came to mind, I suppose. Maybe it was just the fact that we practically spent the day together, who knows.” He smiled and shook his head. “Nah… I’m sure he had his own stuff to do.”

Jesse: Jesse nodded and glanced around, “I do too. I like the arches, I’ve always thought they were a nice touch. Different, you know? Everything is the same nowadays. Which is fine, they’re nice but…” He shrugged, “I don’t know, if I’m going to stay somewhere - even temporarily - I may as well like right, right?” Taking a drink of the beer, he gave a forced smile, “maybe so. He always talks about you though. He did say you were - and I quote - 'bummed out we didn’t go to that theatre thing’. So I’m sorry. I didn’t want to postpone it, but Chelsea ended up in hospital and it was a complicated weekend. I’m glad we got to go today though. It was … ” He paused, rolling over the piece of prosciutto in his hand, “fun. To spend time with you.” He then added, perhaps a moment too long after, “and Gabriel. He’s a great kid, you’ve raised him really well.”

Darius: Darius snapped his head up a little faster than he would have liked. “Oh. So you think you maybe moving again soon?” He chuckled and shook his head. “That kid, sure likes to exaggerate things” he said, while also making a small mental note about not telling Louis intimate stuff again, since they seemed to be in danger of getting spilled out. “You had more important things to do, and I get that. Family comes first for me too, no matter what, or who.” He took a sip of his beer, then as he put it down again he looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, we liked it too. In a way, it was the perfect way to end my birthday week, which I didn’t think would amount to much at the start of it, to tell you the truth.”

Jesse: Jesse shrugged, “I don’t know. Renting an apartment isn’t really a long term goal, but I don’t think I’ll be moving again that soon. Chelsea and I are planning on doing the nursery and Rachel isn’t due until January. But it’s nice to think about buying another apartment, down the line, you know? Like I don’t look around this place and think forever, but I think it’s perfect for now. Even if now turns into a couple of years.” He couldn’t help but nudge Darius’ shoulder with his own, “see, maybe it all worked out. Instead of just being alone, you get to spend the end of your birthday week with me. And I’m amazing company,” he winked at him, with a laugh.

Darius: Darius nodded, while making himself another mini-sandwich. “Yeah, I get that. I mean, I’ve lived at my place for several years now, and I’ve grown used to it, but next one I buy will be the one to stick, I know it. Bigger, possibly a house, where Gabriel can play around a big backyard, and where I can teach him to shoot hoops one day. I already am, but it’ll be nice not to have to walk over to the street court every now and then to practice, but instead having it at your own place. That’d be cool.” He chuckled. “Yeah. You are quite… an interesting one. Uh- interesting company, I mean. Like I said, it beats spending the evening alone.” He smiled, albeit a bit sad, as he looked down on his lap.

Jesse: “A house would be amazing,” Jesse admitted, picturing a future son or daughter running around and playing like Darius was talking about with Gabriel, “but I don’t know how far I could live from the city with my work. But I think things will be different, when I have a child. The way you talk, I feel like it is.” He noticed Darius looking down and his smile slipped a little, “is interesting your way of saying boring? I know lately I haven’t exactly been the most exciting of company.”

Darius: Darius nodded. “It changes everything, man. If just knowing about felt like it, you can’t even imagine when that moment actually comes, and you’re holding that tiny piece of your own body in your hands, maybe even just one hand because it’s so small… It really gets to you.” He stopped talking when he realized the sting in his eyes and he quickly cleared his throat and drank a good sip of his beer to push it down; he then looked at him and chuckled. “God, no! You’re anything but boring. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone… like you-” He fidgeted with the can in his hand, then frowned. “What’d you mean about that? You’re talking about the way you feel about the Rachel and Quinn thing? It’s not like you weren’t in the right, you know-”

Jesse: Jesse smiled through Darius’ talk about Gabriel, and he couldn’t wait to have that with his own child, even if the situation was arguably complicated. He shrugged, “yeah. I sort of moped around for awhile but honestly, the first time I felt human after Rachel told me about her and Quinn was when I went to Sassy Nights that time, and you made me a drink and some food. I really needed to get out of the house and it kind of forced me to. And you… I don’t now.” He gave Darius a studying look, “I wanted to get to know you better. For that one night, I sort of forgot about Rachel and the whole situation. And it’s been months now, and I’m doing really well. I’m still pissed off, and I wish she hadn’t gone about it that way, but I’m not pining I guess you could say, for lack of a better word. Her loss, right? She’s happy with Quinn - something I can’t avoid seeing and hearing about - why the hell shouldn’t I be allowed to be as well?”

Darius: Darius smiled. “Oh yeah, I remember that night. I never get thaat close or personal with someone when they go in there, you know? I figure that’s the bartender’s job, to hear about someone’s crappy day and all that. But yours was more than a crappy day. You had a broken heart…, soooo… you needed my special sandwich!” He chuckled, then looked down and shrugged. “You never really get totally over a love like that. It only just gets easier, and your heart learns to live with that. And yes, you deserve to be happy, and so does she. Shit happens, dude, and you just get to move forward.” He patted his arm. “That’s right! Her loss will be someone else’s gain.”

Jesse: Jesse laughed, “special sandwich? You make it sound like you spit in it. But I saw you make it, so I know you didn’t do that. And it helped. So thank you.” He downed the rest of his beer in one go, making a face. Now he remembered why he generally stuck to wine. Specifically, red. Though he supposed if he was making a fresh start, trying something different would hardly go astray. And the beer wasn’t bad, it was just something he wasn’t used to. “You talk like you have experience with that. I go back and forth, honestly. There are days when I think I’ll never be over her, and then there are days where I just want to - I don’t know - grab somebody’s face and kiss them and screw everything.”

Darius: Darius put on a serious face and wiggled his finger up. “No no, a magician never reveals his secrets.” He laughed softly, then nodded. “That was the idea” he said, then as Jesse kept on talking and looking elsewhere, he took on his profile. The perfect curve that descended from his forehead, down his nose, and to his lips. His lips… Darius’ tongue flicked over his own a bit, just as he caught Jesse going on about kissing someone, and he snapped himself back to reality and swallowed hard before he talked again. “For me, it took me a while. I thought I’d never find love, or be happy without her. I guess that’s what a teenage love does to you, you think the world will end when it’s over. And Helen- that’s her name, Gabriel’s mom… she was something. But hard as it was I did it anyway.” He chuckled awkwardly, then rubbed the back of his own neck. “That’s usually a good place to start. You know the saying, you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince, or princess.” His teeth gnawed sslightly on his lower lip, while his stomach was making the strangest flips, and he quickly downed the rest of his beer in one go.

Jesse: Jesse turned to face Darius properly now, propping himself up on one elbow as he looked at him. “I’m sort of over the frog analogy, somebody decided to allude that I was Rachel’s frog and Quinn was her prince… or princess, I suppose. But you’re saying that if I felt like kissing someone - I should just do it?”

Darius: In just one split second, Darius found himself looking right back at Jesse when he said that. “I… don’t see why not? Besides, it’s not only she who got to find her princess. Everyone can… or so I hope, because I’m also looking for mine.”

Jesse: “Okay,” Jesse said, nodding. And maybe it was because he hadn’t had beer in a long time and it was affecting him more than wine was. Or maybe it was the fact he was in his new, unfamiliar apartment. Or maybe it was just Darius himself. But no matter what the reason, he found himself leaning forward more, moving his hands up to Darius’ face, before leaning in pressing his lips against Darius. It was the briefest of kisses, as everything hit Jesse at once. The first person he’d kissed - outside of the stage, of course - in… god, he didn’t know. He wanted to do it again, but honestly, he didn’t even know if Darius… god, he’d said moments earlier he was looking for his princess. Or it had sounded like that. And then Jesse had just kissed him. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I just… you were saying… and then … ” He looked away, biting down on his lip in annoyance at himself. Now he’d probably just messed up the one decent friendship he had been making, outside of his family.

Darius: The moment Darius saw Jesse leaning towards him he felt his whole boddy freezing on the spot, but then when he cradled his face like that it was like a forest fire had suddenly begun inside of him, all the way up to his neck and face. “Jes-” he was barely able to whisper just as their lips touched, and white flash hit behind his eyelids as they fluttered at the brief, warm kiss. And just like that, it was over. A long, deep sigh fell off his lips as Jesse looked away, clearly riled up for what had just happened. “I know what I was saying” he said quietly, then held onto Jesse’s hands on his face before he could move them away. “-and I stand by it” he added, then it was him the one who leaned over and pressed their lips together again, with equal gentleness, but this time letting it linger a couple seconds more.

Jesse: Jesse was all ready to get up, his body ached to start pacing, start apologising, start … he supposed 'freaking out’ would be the most accurate term for it. But Darius covered his hands before he could move and he stared into the man’s eyes that was in front of him. His mouth opened in surprise, but then Darius was returning the kiss, or kissing him again, this time longer. It was suddenly too much, and not enough at the same time. Part of him was telling him to stop now, before he got carried away, and another part of him was saying don’t stop. And he ignored the first, figuring screw it. Maybe he was done with moping about. He probably should have hesitated at the thought of 'maybe’ but instead he shifted closer to Darius and - when the other didn’t pull away - parted his lips slightly in an invitation to deepen the kiss.

Darius: Even if it was what he wanted, and what he definitely didn’t want to stop, some of the still functioning part of Darius’ brain braced itself for the moment when Jesse would freak out and pulled away from him… But that never happened, instead only the soft warm of his parted lips, the moist tip of his tongue picking out shyly for him to taste, and he let his hands slide to the back of his neck, his head tilt to the side to make their lips fit even better. A soft moan escaped his lips when also the armth of their pressed bodies rose between them.

Jesse: Jesse groaned, the alarm bells in his head finally shutting up for a second as his body melted into the deepening of the kiss. He moved swiftly to straddle Darius and … okay. That was new. He’d really come to terms with his bisexuality in college so he had made out with a handful (okay, two) men back then but this still felt different. Back then it was at college parties, alcohol and people everywhere. And it had been years ago. He was nearly 30, and he’d been at college when he was 18 for barely a blink of an eye. So this was different, this felt real. Darius wasn’t Rachel. Darius wasn’t a woman. Darius’ stubble rubbing against his face was a reminder of that and if he’d ever been unsure of his bisexuality before now, he could safely say he was pretty confident now. Because all he wanted right now was more.

Darius: Darius grunted, his body reacting to everything that was happening: the way Jesse’s tongue rolled with his own, tasting, sucking. Exploring. He gasped against his lip when suddenly he felt him sat in his lap, his hands now moving down the man’s chest, then around his waist and on his buttocks, where he merely let his hands rest, their kiss equally hungry, even more now with Jesse’s ass pressing his crotch. “Fuck… You’re so hot…” he was barely able to breathe out between kisses, his teeth tugging slightly on Jesse’s lower lip.

Jesse: Jesse had to switch the thoughts running through his head off in that moment. There was practically a neon flashing sign telling him this was a bad idea, that maybe he wasn’t ready for this. But if he wasn’t, why could he not bring himself to stop. God, the last time he’d been intimate with somebody like this would have been… well, when Rachel got pregnant, he supposed. It wasn’t exactly hard to pinpoint the exact day that happened. Maybe that should have the first warning sign there. Darius’ words snapped him out of his thoughts and he smirked at him, his lips brushing over the other man’s. “I know,” he replied, not being able to resist rolling his hips down, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Darius: Darius chuckled breathlessly at Jesse’s words, his eyes rolling to white when he felt the weeight of his body pressing down on him, to which he couldn’t stop himself from pushing his hips up in response. “Of course you do… You fucking do…” He licked Jesse’s lips teasingly before he captured his lips again, his hands now slipping under the hem of the man’s shirt so he could feel the bare skin under it. “You’re sure of this…?” He opened his eyes and looked right into Jesse’s eyes, his own words only then being processed in his brain.

Jesse: Jesse chuckled at Darius’ reply, because of course he knew it. Why would he deny it? Be ran a hand through Darius’ hair, bringing it down to cup his face, feeling the stubble under his hand. When he felt the other man’s fingers graze his skin, he couldn’t help the soft moan that slipped from his lips but then the next words from his mouth snapped him back to reality. He pulled back and looked at Darius, “I’m sure I don’t want to stop. I want to do this. I mean, have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re fucking gorgeous. But,” he hesitated, “I’m not looking for a relationship,” he admitted because Darius was a good guy and it wasn’t fair to him to not say anything with the opening he’d just given him. Fuck, Darius looked so good and he just wanted to lean back in and kiss him, but he had to let Darius make the next decision.

Darius: Darius felt at first that perhaps it had been a mistake to ask that, but he needed to know. He was making out with a guy who not too shortly was in love with his ex-wife, maybe he still was. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong about being a rebound, or a one time hook up for the night, but still it was best to know. He chuckled at Jesse’s praise and nodded. “Thank you. I try, you know” he said, then listened to what he said and nodded. “That’s fine with me. I’m not looking for one neither. I’m content with what we’re doing right now, and all the things I’ve been thinking about doing to you since the noment I met you. But that’s all. I take it you’re cool witj that too?”

Jesse: Jesse felt a wave of relief hit him when Darius replied. He knew it probably should have been said even before he kissed him, but at the least it was said before anything really happened. Now the air was clear and they both knew what the other wanted. He grinned and leaned in, “I am. Sounds like the perfect situation we have then.” He closed the gap between them again, not wasting anytime in deepening the kiss, wanting to get back to where they were. “What things? Tell me,” he said, lips against Darius’.

Darius: Darius looked up at him and grinned. “Perfect indeed” he whispered, just as their lips met, his hands now moving to the front and tugging on the fabric. “For starters, I’ve been wanted to know what your skin tastes like under my tongue and lips…”

Jesse: Jesse lifted his arms up so Darius could pull his t-shirt off, not even caring when it was tossed aside. “By all means, don’t let me stop you,” he said with a grin, his own hands working at the buttons of Darius’ shirt, him still wearing the same shirt he’d seen him in hours before.

Darius: Darius licked his lips when he was finally able to see Jesse’s bare skin, his hands caressing his back as his lips pecked the spot on the hollow of his neck, while he left his arms down so that Jesse could dispose of his shirt more easy.

Jesse: Jesse made quick work of the buttons on Darius’ shirt, pushing it open and off his shoulders and arms, throwing it over the edge of the couch. “Fuck,” he couldn’t help but let slip from his lips at the sight of the toned muscles that he could now see. He couldn’t resist but run his hands over them, smirking at Darius, “so you work out, huh?” He grinned, leaning in to kiss him again.

Darius: Darius grinned when he saw the look on Jesse’s face. “I kinda have to. My work is more demanding that many people realize.” He chuckled, then pulled him down by grabbing the back of his neck and kissed him deeply again, also slowly shifting underneath him so that he could lay Jesse on the couch with him on top.

Jesse: Jesse chuckled, admitting to himself he wouldn’t have expect Darius’ work to be demanding when they first spoke. He remembered making some snarky comment about having a business degree and managing a club. Obviously caught Darius’ attention somehow though, now they were here. He groaned when he felt Darius move them, his back against the couch (soft - a good choice, he made a note not to tell Chelsea how he knew) and Darius hovering over him. He cupped the back of Darius neck and pulled him back down.

Darius: Darius looked down at Jesse and smirked. The guy looked so damn hot laying on his back like that. He let himself being pulled down and captured his lips once more before he let his lips roam down his neck, his teeth scrapping softly on the surface of the skin there, his other hand moving down his chest and stomach, barely hovering over his crotch.

Jesse: Jesse gave a sound of annoyance when he felt Darius’ lips leave his, but stopped protesting soon enough when he felt them move down his neck. Feeling bold, he couldn’t resist his hands finding Darius’ ass, resting there. He licked his lips, rocking his hips up.

Darius: With his lips latched on the spot where th nck lost its name, Darius grunted when he felt the friction of Jesse pushing his hips up, then did the same, his whole lower body weight rocking his hips down with some mild rhythm that matched the other male’s, encouraged by the feeling of his hands resting on his ass. With one hand he undid Jesse’s pants enough so he could slip his hand inside, his fingers then brushing ghostly over the briefs on the shape of his member.

Jesse: Jesse sucked in a breath when he felt Darius loosen the drawstring on his trackpants, feeling the other man’s hand slide inside. God, he wanted this so bad but he was almost surprised at the lack of protest from his body or his brain. Maybe it was because he knew neither one of them wanted a relationship so there were no strings, but ultimately he always thought the first time he did anything after his divorce would be wrought with confusion. Even more so given Darius was a man and he hadn’t done anything - save for a couple of forgotten nights in college that were barely more than making out. But there was nothing confusing about this, he wanted it and he definitely didn’t want Darius to stop. “Fuck… please…” He rocked his hips up to meet Darius’ hand, closing the barely existent gap.

Darius: Darius smiled against the skin of Jesse’s throat, a small, barely visible red spot forming under his lips. “Please, what? Use your words. You’re always so witty and vocal, use that…” He chuckled softly, his tongue tracing the shape of the mark, while his hand gave a sfot squeeze to the lengt shape on his briefs.

Jesse: Jesse looked up at the ceiling and for a few moments, didn’t move or say anything. He just let the sound of their breathing be the only sounds in the room. “Fuck you,” he said, with a laugh and no heat behind his words. Darius was teasing him and it was driving him insane. “Please,” he started, with groan when Darius’ hand gave him a slight squeeze, trying to rock his hips up to him again, “you’re a tease.” He huffed, his hands still touching everywhere they could, “touch me, please.”

Darius: Darius chuckled. “Oh I’ll leave that to you… one day, some day…” He didn’t have any reaason to drag on any longer, no matter how much he loved the sounds Jesse made while begging for more . He moved his hand right under his briefs, his thunb gently swiping the tip before he closed his hand around his cock, stroking hom slowly at first.

Jesse: Jesse didn’t really register Darius’ words, knowing that whatever said was likely just being caught up in the moment. Because if he had been paying more attention, he wouldn’t have been sure what to make of the suggestion they’d be doing this again. There was no time to dwell though, with Darius’ hand wrapping around his cock and his hips jerked in response. He had almost forgotten what the touch of somebody else’s hand felt like, how better and different it was from his own. “Oh… fuck,” he groaned, hands gripping into Darius as he started to stroke him. “Wait… wait… I want - you too.” He reached between them, fumbling with the button of Darius’ trousers, while the other still stroked him.

Darius: Darius licked his lips, his hand slowly working up and down Jesse’s cock while his usually bright eyes looked darkened with the lust that now filled his body up, with seeing the man that had taken over his dreams at night lately, and to finally get to feel him in that way was more than just mesmerizing. He grinned when Jesse said he wanted to do the same to him, and he pushed himself up a bit to leave him space to undo his pants, all this without him missing a beat in the rhythm his hand had. With both their hands being where they were at the moment he leaned down and captured Jesse’s lips again, his tongue soon prying its way between his lips to reclaim that moist, warm feeling he liked so much.

Jesse: Jesse slid his hand under the waist band of Darius’ briefs as soon as he got his trousers undone. There was a moment when they shifted their bodies to get comfortable, but Darius never broke the rhythm of his hand on Jesse’s cock - damn him. When he finally got Darius’ cock in his hand, the sudden realisation hit him that this was the first time he’d had another man’s cock in his hand. In his college days he’d gotten off with exactly two other men, but it had been while they were drunk, and it had never been under the clothes. So here, in his new apartment, was the first time. And it was both overwhelming and exhilarating because after he got back together with Rachel, he’d always just assumed it was going to be a part of him he never got to explore. It took his brain just a couple of moments to catch up to the present, and he began stroking Darius, slowly at first before matching his pace. He groaned into the kiss, hoping the way was moving his hand was right - it was a different feeling, with somebody else’s and not his own. “Mmm… fuck,” he said, brushing his lips over Darius’ as their tongues slid against one another’s.

Darius: Darius gasped against Jesse’s lips when he first felt his hand closing around his cock, making him stop his own hand forjust half a second, then he looked into his eyes and grinned, his tongue swiping its way over Jesse’s lips, as his hips bucked into his hand, both of them now kind of laying half on top of each other to be more comfortable. “Mm.. fuck, yes… ah…” He bit his lip down, his forehead pressed hard down on Jesse’s, their bodies now slowly getting into a steadyrhythm, marked by the movement of their hands.

Jesse: Jesse had to resist the urge to ask Darius if this was okay, judging by his reactions and body language it was. He’d honestly never thought he’d second guess himself as much as he was in this moment, though he supposed there was a first time for everything. Their bodies rocked together as their hands worked in a consistent rhythm but Jesse could feel the now slightly distant, but still familiar tug in his stomach looming already. It felt embarrassingly quick, but he chalked it up to the fact that a) Darius was a man, and this was new and different and b) he hadn’t had sex in months, and even before Rachel and he separated, their sex life hadn’t exactly been frequent.

Darius: Darius moaned and lowered his head, pressed it on Jesse’s shoulder, as his hips kept rocking down on the hand, his own one moving swiftly on the man’s erection, which he could already feel throbbing inside his fist. He twisted his wrist just right to give it the exact amount of friction and pull, his lips once again finding their way up Jesse’s neck, only this time he used his tongue to trace a wet stripe all the way up to the spot behind his ear.

Jesse: Jesse gasped, his body writhing under Darius as the man flicked his hand in a way that was just enough for Jesse to reach the edge. “Oh… oh …. fuck,” he groaned, and for a second his hand on Darius stilled as his body jerked up into Darius’ touch as his climax hit him, waves of pleasure rushing over his body. But it was only for a moment, before his hand started stroking Darius again, swiping his thumb over the head of his cock.

Darius: Darius pulled away just enough so he could see Jesse’s face as he came, and it was gorgeous. So deep, and so hot at the same time. It somehow pained him to know maybe that was all they would do for the time being, but for now it was enough. He stroked him through his high, his hand moving a bit slower, just as Jesse regained his rhythm on his hand, lost for about two seconds when his climax hit. He grunted when he felt the slick dripping under the touch of his thumb, his lips pressing on Jesse’s one more time, almost swallowing all the breathless panting the other was doing. He managed to shift on top of Jesse again, his hips now fully moving as if he was fucking his hand.

Jesse: Jesse’s body thrummed with the aftershocks of pleasure, but all the while he kept moving his hand on Darius’ cock, trying to imitate what he knew he liked, while the other rolled his hips into it. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he couldn’t help but say, his voice breathless and almost in awe.

Darius: With his forehead pressed against Jesse’s, Darius looked right into the man’s eyes, grunting as he kept rocking his hips onto his hand. “I know” he said with a smirk on his face, just like Jesse had done a bit earlier, then moaned as he kissed him again, his body suddenly jerking as his hand continued to work him perfectly. He gasped against his lips, his own parted as he breathing became a low growl, then his body went rigid for one second, before he finally came in Jesse’s hand. “My god…” he breathed out, then he chuckled before he kissed him again, both of them now moving slowly through the final ripples of their climax, until they stopped and just laid there, still. “Fuck, that was hot… mm…”

Jesse: “Mmm,” Jesse hummed lazily in agreement, kissing Darius slowly. “It was.” He laid there, Darius still on top of him, and for a second he couldn’t believe he’d just done that. It felt… unlike him. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it even in the slightest. Neither one of them were looking for a relationship, and maybe it had been exactly what he needed. At least for now. “There’s, uhh, tissues on the counter there,” he said, after a few moments of quiet - only the sound of their breathing - had passed.

Darius: Darius turned his head to look where the counter was, then back at him and smiled. “That’s a good call” he said, then he pulled away from him and sat up straight, quickly grabbing the tissue box and handing a couple to Jesse and for himself, and after they were cleaned up and all tucked back in he looked at him and grinned. “So… How about another beer, hmm?”

END SCENE.

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belovedyuuri · 6 years

Text

colours of you’re your life & love

Rating: T / day four: coffee / AU (ao3)

“Do you want some coffee?”

Yuuri groans where he’s leaning against Viktor’s back which is shaking a bit now. How can he be so awake in the mornings, Yuuri has no idea.

“Ah, right,” Viktor muses as he pours himself a cup, “You don’t like it.”

They do it every day, by now Viktor knows very well that Yuuri’s not a coffee-drinker. He always offers him a cup, though, and when Yuuri declines—

He quirks his eyebrow and looks at Yuuri over his shoulder. “Funny you work in a café and hate coffee.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “No connection whatsoever.” He kisses Viktor’s neck and steps away when the loose hairs that have fallen out of Viktor’s messy bun tickle his nose.

Viktor turns around to him, two cups held in his hands, one extended in an offer. “Here, have some.”

“Today is not the day I start drinking—“ Tea. There’s tea in the cup. Yuuri huffs a smile and accepts it, shaking his head. “I love you.”

Viktor kisses his cheek and murmurs a soft, “I love you, too.”

Off they go, eating breakfast and enjoying the last of their morning together, pretending there’s no hurry even though they both keep checking the time, both already late.

“So when’s that vacation of yours happening?” Phichit asks, pouring an astonishing amount of strawberry syrup into the grande vanilla latte signed for Meelah.

(Meanwhile, Mila Babicheva is sitting at one of the couches, strolling through her phone. Yuuri winces at the name on the cup and decides to forget that he’s seen the mistake—mistakes; Minami is a new employee, after all. And a high schooler, and one of Viktor’s students. He’s still learning.)

“In two days,” Yuuri replies, moving his focus back to the porcelain mug of coffee set in front of him. He carefully pours the steamed milk into the mug in a zig-zag pattern, then moves the pitcher towards himself and finally away, creating the leaf pattern on the surface of the latte. He wipes any spilled milk away, puts the mug on the open counter and calls the customer’s name to collect it. “I already told Celestino. Seung-gil will cover my shifts.”

Phichit looks up at the mention of the name of his crush and beams at Yuuri. “Have I told you recently that you’re my best friend?” He stumbles a bit with properly securing the plastic lid on the cup. “The bestest, really. The absolute best in the—“

But Yuuri doesn’t hear the end of that sentence, since, in the very next moment, Minami excitedly yells, “Mr Nikiforov!” and his attention flies to the man who has just walked into the café.

He doesn’t pay much attention to Phichit’s amused eye roll, or how his friend walks around him and calls Mila’s name to get her latte. He doesn’t even hear Mila’s groan at the sight of her misspelled name. All he sees is Viktor.

Viktor, who’s on his free periods right now, which he usually spends in the teachers’ room, marking tests or checking his students’ homework, or even coming up with ideas for his future lessons – all so he doesn’t bring work home when he can avoid it.

Viktor, who looks like his day couldn’t get any worse.

Yuuri wipes the coffee station with a rag, watching as Viktor walks over to the counter, putting a smile for Minami’s sake. The boy doesn’t seem to notice a thing, just excitedly starts to offer his teacher all the best coffee suggestions he’s memorised already.

Viktor’s long hair looks like it’s been pushed and pulled, like Viktor tends to do whenever he’s frustrated.

Black coffee to go, Yuuri guesses the order and turns to the coffee machine—but stops and glances at the wall clock.

Still an hour to Viktor’s next class. The black coffee can wait.

“I’m taking five,” Yuuri tells Phichit three minutes later and receives a nod in reply as he grabs a serving of the chocolate cake he’s already plated and carries it as well as a big mug of creamy hazelnut cappuccino to the table Viktor’s sitting at.

“Here you go, mister. On the house,” he says softly, even though he’s paid for the order himself already. It’s worth it to see the surprise in Viktor’s eyes when he looks up from his phone, though.

“Yuuri...”

Somehow, the sound of his own name tells Yuuri everything he needs to know. He sits on the couch next to Viktor, turns to him as much as he can, and takes his hand into his own. It feels cold against his skin.

“That rough, huh?” he asks gently, massaging warmth into Viktor’s hand. Soon, their fingers curl around each other.

Viktor sighs. “There’s a lot of things I need to do before our trip,” he says, his shoulders sagging. “I didn’t think there would be so many responsibilities.”

Yuuri squeezes Viktor’s hand in sympathy, then lifts it to his lips and presses a kiss against it. “You’re not at school now,” he murmurs. “You deserve a break, even a short one.” When Viktor opens his mouth, as though to argue, Yuuri shakes his head and looks pointedly at the table in front of them. “Will you say no to your favourite triple chocolate cake? I baked it myself, you know.”

Viktor huffs a laughter and shakes his head. “No, you didn’t.”

“True.” Yuuri smiles at him and lifts the cappuccino mug. “But I made this fine cup of coffee, especially for you.”

Viktor reaches for the cup, but before his fingers curl around the ceramic, he freezes, eyes fixed on the foamy surface of the coffee.

The sound of Viktor’s laud, unrestrained laughter fills the café in the very next moment, worming its way right into Yuuri’s heart, like it’s been doing every day for the five years they’ve known each other.

There, in the cappuccino cup, poorly-drawn in cocoa powder on the canvas of coffee foam lies a bald stick figure. The brown lines have already started melting, but Viktor’s recognition proves them still recognisable.

“What have I done,” Viktor wheezes, arms curled around his own stomach, “to deserve you?”

Yuuri’s smile widens even more. He leans in and quickly kisses Viktor’s grin, tasting the tired happiness on his lips. “You brush your teeth after drinking coffee,” he jokes, pulling away. “That’s what you’ve done.”

Viktor shakes his head at him and accepts his cappuccino. Even though he doesn’t say anything, Yuuri still shushes him.

“Eat your cake,” he says, and with one last kiss on Viktor’s cheek, he goes back to work.

Half an hour later, Viktor leaves the café with a tall black coffee to-go, signed with four words:

2 days!!! Good luck <3

#domesticvictuuriweek #victuuri #viktuuri #yoi #au #barista yuuri #b tries to write #colours of your life & love #domestic viktuuri

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sweetlysilent · 7 years

Text

Star Spangled Man

Requested By: Anonymous

Hi!!! I saw that your request are open and was wondering if you could write a tom holland x reader, and the reader is Chris Evans daughter. Thank you 😊

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Description: You were Chris Evans daughter, therefore, you absolutely adored Captain America, he was your favorite Marvel character, but Tom was doing his best to change that.

Warnings: It’s cute, some teasing??

Word Count: 1,586

A/N: Okay ngl this was pretty difficult for me to write? I saw another Tumblr who had gotten a pretty similar request like this one so maybe that is why I was so iffy with it?? But I still think it’s cute! I hope you like it :))

“So what’re your plans for tonight?” Your dad asked, making you groan and roll your eyes playfully.

“I’m just going out with a few friends, that’s all.” You shrugged, taking a spoonful of your vegetable soup.

“Alright well, don’t stay out too late or I’ll have to go all star spangled man at you and I don’t think you would want me to embarrass you like that.” Your dad grinned, making you burst out laughing, which made Chris laugh along with you.

You loved your dad, he was your hero, your best friend, basically your entire life. He was the only parent figure you had, your mom had left when you were about five, which at the time you didn’t understand why she never came back.

As time went on you started to learn more about her from what Chris had told you, but when you got to the age of understanding, you decided you didn’t need her to be a part of your life, you just needed your dad.

“You do realize that Captain America is bomb as hell right? There would be no way you could embarrass me, in fact I’d be proud if you did that, so I can show off how cool my dad is.” You smiled proudly, making Chris’s heart all warm and tingly.

“You are the best daughter in the entire world, you know that right?” Chris smiled, giving you a hug before messing up your hair.

You laughed in response, fixing your hair as he walked into the other room.

“Have fun tonight!” He called, as you shouted an ’I will!’ back before leaving the house.

Your friends had taken you out to a party, you weren’t really a huge drinker, but your friends.. well they were.

“Y/N, lighten up, have some fun!” Your one friend Carly shouted over the loud music, making you laugh at her drunken state.

She was always the first to go, then it was Raven, and lastly Jade, and before you knew it all your friends were dancing stupidly out on the dance floor and you were watching from afar.

Nobody really knew you as Chris Evans daughter, which you were thankful for, you weren’t constantly getting recognized.

“So, are you going to sit here all night or are you going to party with your clearly wasted friends?” A voice spoke over your shoulder, startling you as you turned to see who the mysterious voice was.

“Well if it isn’t the famous Tom Holland.” You smirked, watching as he took the seat in front of you, a mysterious glint in his eyes.

“That’s me.” He replied cheekily, making you shake your head and laugh slightly.

“But honestly though, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be down there with them?” Tom questioned, bringing his beer to his lips, his eyebrow raised slightly.

You shrugged, messing with the straw in your drink, partying wasn’t really your thing, you’d rather just go watch a movie and eat some popcorn.

“I guess I’m just not that into partying like they are.” You admitted, a faint smile on your lips.

“That’s alright, it’s not for everyone, in fact, would you like to get out of here?” Tom questioned, making your face heat up a tad.

“As nice as that sounds, I should really stay and make sure they don’t get into trouble.” You sighed, seeing Tom’s smile falter slightly, before letting out a sigh also.

“Maybe we can hangout tomorrow then?” Tom’s smiled reappeared, making you smile and nod in agreement.

“Sure, text me.” You winked, handing him your number before going over to your friends.

That night turned out to be one of the best, normally you disliked parties but Tom appearing changed everything.

You got home late, your dad was waiting up for you, which made you feel bad, you always told him he could go to bed, but he always wanted to make sure you got home safe.

Once he knew you were home, you both went to bed, happy to finally get the sleep you both needed.

Night soon turned to morning and you awoke to the smell of tea brewing, you got up and saw you had a text from Tom, asking if you wanted to hangout, making your heart race slightly.

“Hey pumpkin, how’d you sleep?” Chris smiled, seeing your tired expression as he handed you your cup of tea.

“Eh, alright, thank you.” You smiled, holding the cup in your hands, feeling the warmth travel through, and the smell of the tea linger in the air.

“Do you care if Tom comes over later? We ran into each other at the party last night.” You smiled, seeing your dads eyes widen a bit, before sitting down across form you.

“The spider boy?” Your dad teased, making you laugh and hide your face in your hands.

“He’s a sweet guy.” You laughed, sipping your tea, as you saw your dad wiggle his eyebrows at you.

A few hours later Tom arrived at your house, he was a bit surprised to find out you were Chris Evans daughter.

“Alright so, I figured we could watch a movie, have some popcorn?” You smiled, taking a seat next to Tom as he took a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl.

“Sure, we’re watching Spider-Man right?” Tom smiled, making you gasp and shake your head in disagreement.

“No way! We’re watching Captain America! No offense to you and your ’thing’ but Captain America will forever be my favorite Marvel character.” You smirked, seeing the shocked expression on Tom’s face.

“If we’re going to date, that has to change, how can my potential girlfriend not love Spider-Man?” Tom waved his hands around, making you laugh as he was throwing a fit.

“Not my fault that Cap is so much better than you.” You teased, making him gasp dramatically.

“You take that back!” He pointed his finger at you, his eyes squinting at you playfully as you put in Captain America The First Avenger, your all time favorite movie.

You smirked at him as the music started playing, you could see that Tom was itching to tackle you.

“Fight. Me. Pretty boy.” You taunted, making him laugh lowly before he got up, throwing you over his shoulder as you squealed.

“Tom! This isn’t fair!” You shouted, but he only laughed at your response.

“You should of thought about that before you said Captain America was better than Spider-Man.” Tom grinned, twirling you in circles, making you laugh even harder.

“He still is.” You teased, making Tom stop spinning you and set you on the ground, his arms wrapped around your waist.

“What makes you so sure it’ll stay that way?” He grinned, his forehead leaning against yours, as you were breathing heavy from laughing.

“Because, she’s got the star spangled man to look after her, thank you very much.” Your dad spoke up out of nowhere, startling the both of you, but you couldn’t help but laugh at your dad, he was dressed in his Captain America costume, the one that you loved.

“And this is why, he’ll always be my favorite, but, maybe, just maybe Spider-Man can find a way into my heart.” You teased, kissing Tom on the nose, surprising him before you both started laughing.

“Maybe we should put Captain America Civil War in, instead?” Tom joked, making Chris and you laugh, before you all sat down on the couch.

You sat there, a smile on your face as you cuddled into Tom’s side, Chris sitting on the other couch.

You couldn’t have felt any happier than you did now.

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just-pretend-i-can-write · 6 years

Text

Earth-6420

Peter Parker x reader (eventually)

Peter is asked to go into another universe to start a chain reaction to help things get better. This is part one, reader will come in on part two

word count: 1530

Peter pov: Earth-616

The bell just rang when I got the the summons. I was washing my hands in the bathroom sink, I left my study hall to use the bathroom, and words started appearing on the mirror in gold lettering, all caps. ‘COME TO THIS ADDRESS IMMEDIATELY MR. PARKER: 77A BLEECKER STREET, NEW YORK CITY, NY.’ Honestly, at this point I wasn’t even surprised by the magic lettering. I just grabbed a pen out of my back pocket and wrote the address down in the palm on my hand. Honestly, I was a little annoyed. I was going to work on upgrading my computer tonight. Mr. Stark was still giving me an… well, he called it an allowance, I called it a paycheck, we compromised and now call it’s an allowance.

I shot a quick text to Aunt May, something about a job opening at a pizza shop in Greenwich Village. I had to pull a few stings (and by I, I mean, I begged Tony to pull a few strings) to have her brain wiped of the finding-out-that-I’m-spider-man incident. It was for her own safety, after Mr. Thoomes’s little threat of ‘I will kill you and everyone you love’, I didn’t want to risk my last family member being threatened because of my day job. In response to the text, I got a few emojis ‘Okay’ and a few more emojis. I laughed and opened my locker to grab my backpack. I had gotten more careful about where I put them, this was only my second backpack this month. I slid the bottom stack of books into the bag, figuring that even if I didn’t need all of them, I’d study or something after I got back from Greenwich.

I told Ned to make up an excuse for me for missing practice, probably a bad idea. I loved the guy, but he wasn’t the best with secrets or excuses. He winked at me, telling me he had this, and I knew I had another detention coming my way. I jogged out of the school, ducked the corner and stopped, debating if I should go all spideied up or just take the subway. Why not make an entrance? I grinned to myself and ran a little farther away from the school into a different alley to strip and suit up.

Within ten minutes (no traffic when you swinging on buildings), I was looking over what I once thought was a haunted building. I swung onto it’s roof and scuttled onto the skylight, looking through into a vast loft filled with dusty artifacts. It looked like a museum. I didn’t see anything… living though. Well, didn’t see anything living until after the swirling vortex of sparks opened underneath me. I landed in a hard chair, and from the impact, my eyes were jarred out of whack... again. For a good thirty seconds all I saw was black and white bars until I got them situated.

“Can you take off the mask, Mr. Parker? I’m not a fan of them.” Saided a distinguished man, a few years old than my aunt. He had his fingers steepled over his mouth and a look of judgement scribbled over his face. I hesitated to take off the mask, studying the man once more before deciding he wasn’t a threat. I pulled off my mask and shook out my hair. “I never understood heros and the jump suits, it seems a little ridiculous, don’t you think?” He waved his hand and an antique tea set started to work on it’s own. I was a little to dumbstruck to answer. “I suppose you wouldn’t, all of your versions wear them.” He shook his head. “Tea?” One of the cups floated towards me, and I finally found my voice.

“I… I’m n-not much of a t-tea person.” I stuttered, my eyes wide. Like I said before, not much surprised me, but this took the cake. I was sitting across from a wizard that could do wandless magic.

He sighed and waved his hand again, the tea turned into a bottle of Coke, “Not many people I have the pleasure to meet are tea drinkers, shame. Tea does a lot of good for you.”

I just nodded along to it, not sure why he called me here to have tea and small talk. How the heck did he even know my name? As far as I was concerned I had never met the man before in my life. “Who the hell are you?” I blurted, lurching forward. Thankfully the bottle of Coke was still closed, otherwise I would have had one heck of a stain to explain to Mr. Stark.

“Oh, sorry, I forget, not everyone has an insight to the world.” He chuckled, “My name is Dr. Strange.” He paused, waiting for admiration.

I sat quiet for awhile before clearing my throat, “Oh… ‘m Peter… Parker. But you already… knew… that…” I drummed one hand on my leg and clicked my tongue, looking around the room at the artifacts, “So… why am I here?” I asked slowly meeting his eyes.

Dr. Strange stood, “Yes, follow me.” I don’t think I had a choice because as soon as he said that our entire scene changed. Thank goodness for spidey senses and quick reflexes or I would have ended the shift on my butt. We were standing at an green orb thing supported by a silver pedestal, acrossed it in gold letters (what was it with this guy and gold?) was a simple message. ‘Send help.’

Strange put his hand on top of the orb, “I got this message last night from an alternate realm, from an alternate me. This the only piece of it that came through clearly.” He rotated his hand counter clockwise and a bunch of jumbled letters appeared. ‘Hro oe. ord brn acs.’ The lines in Strange’s face deepened, “I think the other me’s powers are weakened, used to only supply steadiness to his hands, so he is out of practice. The length of the message journey does no difference to signal, only the flow of magic through it as it travels. Unless the magic flow was interrupted, then that is the only explanation.”

I was still stuck on his first sentence, “There are alternate universes?” I asked, dumbstruck. Apparently there was a lot to learn about the world I had now been in for two years.

“Keep up kid,” Strange barely looked up at me, “I need a hero that isn’t in that universe to go help fix everything, or start a chain reaction. I’ll be scrying into the world’s future, once the chain reaction is started, I’ll pull you back through to this world and you can go on with your life.”

“So, what? I wasn’t born in that universe?” I asked.

“Oh, no, you were. You were just killed two years ago by these things called sentinels built by Tony Stark and Bruce Banner.” Strange said in a casual manner, like it wasn’t a bad thing I was killed.

“So, lemme see if I have this straight. I go,” I pointed at the orb, “to wherever this came from. Kick some butt, change a few minds, and be back… when? In a couple months? I don’t think I told you this, but I need to be home by dinner, my legal guardian thinks I’m at a job interview, not a interuniverse mission interview.” I shook my head, “Thanks but no thanks.” I turned around and began to walk away.

I didn’t get very far.

I took two steps and the scene shifted so I was walking towards Mr. Magic, “You’ll be home before dinner. You’ll be home before the hour has passed. When you travel through dimensions, no time passes.” Doc sighed at my expression, “Have you ever watched or read Narnia? It’s like that. Now, are you a hero or not? Put on your big boy tights and help me make an interdimensional portal to get you to Earth-6420.”

I didn’t have room to say no, or at least not any admirable room to say no. So I helped the guy, got him his supplied, loaned him some of my hair. He called me a good little assistant. While he worked on the spell he explained something that was called the multiverse. There was our universe, Earth-616. There was the one I was about to enter, Earth-64200. There were a lot of others as well: Earth-1218, where we never existed. Earth-1602, where Killgrave ruled. Earth-2149 where we were nothing but Zombies. And hundreds of others.

After a while of talking, Strange finally ushered me to the portal, this was surrounded by another glowing spark ring. Through it was a dingy world below me, empty streets, only dime street lights giving me any access of sight, and don’t get me started at the smell. While I was looking over the edge, Strange’s cloak pushed me through. I guess I was taking to long for it. I fell for a few seconds before I was able to swing and catch myself on the side of the building, just in time to watch my way home close.

#dr. strange #peter parker #spiderman #tom holland's spider-man #fanfic #multiverse

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love-in-nature · 7 years

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My Neighbor Fen’harel Chapter 12: Confusion

Read from the beginning on my AO3.

I work all day tomorrow so you all get this a day early ;).

There are two lines in here that will need translating. The first in Tevene is Dorian saying, you’ll be the death of me. To this Emmy responds in Elvhen telling him to shove a tree up his ass. A bit extreme maybe, but she is having a day haha.

Thank you as always to my incredible beta @happiness-is-sebstan

Emmy shifted, soft sheets slipping down her skin as she cuddled deeper into the hard warmth next to her. A familiar, comforting scent filled her nostrils and she inhaled deeply. Her lips parted to release a contented sigh, fingers shifting to brush against warm skin, over lean muscle and broad shoulders.

Her eyes fluttered open and she had to work not to jerk back as awareness suddenly hit her. In response, Solas’ fingers pressed more firmly into the skin of her back and where they were tangled in her hair. She froze, keeping her hand flat on his chest so she could measure the easy rise and fall of his breath.

Several seconds passed while she worked to clear her panicked mind. She was in his bed now, he must have carried her there at some point, but she was still wearing her dress. If she was quiet, she could sneak out and make it to her apartment without waking him.

She ‘d already decided not to hold him to what he’d said mid-coitus. People said all sorts of things they didn’t mean during sex. Lust filled musings that you came to regret the next morning, like her impossible thought that she was still in love with him. It was absurd. She couldn’t be. It was just her body messing with her brain. If she let it continue it would only lead her down a path she wasn’t ready travel.

Emmy eased herself carefully out of his arms, taking care to jostle him as little as possible. In the dim light of the moon, she could see his frown as he released a sigh of complaint in the back of his throat, but he didn’t wake.

With careful steps, she snuck to the door. Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears she was surprised it didn’t wake him. When she reached the door of his bedroom, she couldn’t help glancing back at him. He was all long limbs, his arms now hugging the pillow she had been using, the tip of one ear visible from where he’d buried his face in the fabric.

It didn’t matter that his face was hidden from her, body bundled under sheets so all she could see was his silhouette. In her mind, he was clear as day and a new, more painful thought struck her, one she couldn’t explain away with the heat of sex—she hadn’t fallen in love with him again tonight; she’d never fallen out of love with him to begin with.

Her fingers dug into the wood of his door frame. For a beat she thought of how easy it would be to go back to him. To slide back under those covers and bury herself against his body. It would be easy, just for tonight, but then what? She needed to think because the truth was, she still didn’t trust him. Not after what he’d done.

As she turned to sneak out, something caught in her throat, guilt heavy in her stomach. Sneaking out while he was asleep felt worse somehow than if she’d just left immediately after. Despite the rock in her stomach she was desperate to get out. She needed to breath, and to try and think clearly. She could do neither in this place where everything was him.

She snuck her way out of his apartment, then practically ran the few feet to hers. She shut the door quickly, bolted it, and then pressed her back to the door before sliding to the floor.

Something furry knocked against her hip. She reached her hand out absently to pet along Darcy’s soft fur. He let out a low meow before head-butting her again.

“I messed up,” she told the cat.

Another meow, another head butt.

“Easy for you to say. You’re lucky, you don’t have to deal with all this.”

This time he nipped her finger.

“Ouch! You little punk ass.” She scooped him up and hugged him tight to her as he let out a plaintive cry at the forced cuddling, “Tough luck bud. This is punishment for your attitude. You’re just gonna have to cuddle with me now.”

An hour later she was naked in her bed, staring up at the ceiling and feeling cold despite Darcy’s heat at her hip. She sighed deeply and wiggled out from under the covers, toes touching the cool floor as she sat there with her fingers digging into the edge of her mattress. For a few moments she just stayed like that, eyes shut.

When she opened them again, the first thing they fell on was her discarded dress. A little pool of crimson in the moonlight. She stood and reached down to scoop up the material and bundle it into a tight ball. Then she strode into the kitchen, opened her trash bin, and dumped it inside.

After staring at the trash bin longer than was reasonable for any sane person, she went to the couch and grabbed her laptop. She did something she hadn’t done in years: she opened her e-mail and wrote to Fen’harel about Solas.

She told him everything, everything but the details of their lovemaking. She opened up entirely, feeling exposed to this man she’d never even met. It was the only part of her she hadn’t shared. Now she shared all of it, from the very start on that first fateful day in his class, to the very end where he’d disappeared without a word after they’d made love.

She wrote what she remembered. She wrote everything, because she remembered everything, every detail and word. She hoped that putting it all down would be like sucking venom from a wound, finally expelling it from her heart and mind. If she could just pull it all out, finally stop holding everything in, then maybe the pain, the feelings of betrayal, and the aching loneliness would stop. All she wanted was to live her life in relative peace.

When she reached the part about what had happened tonight, what she’d done, she paused. She simply stared at the screen for several minutes. Then she took a deep breath and finished the story, all of it. What did it matter now? Fen’harel had said he no longer wanted to speak with her. He probably wouldn’t even read this. She just needed to get it out.

She ended it with, “It was just sex. Dorian said revenge and I guess… now that I’ve written it all out, his thinking makes such sense. I admit maybe I wanted to hurt Solas, just a little, after all that had happened to me after he vanished. I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I didn’t mean for it to make me feel again, to make me realize how madly I still loved him. I’ve messed up and I don’t know where to go now.”

She paused, took another deep breath, and deleted all of what she’d just written. Instead, she ended with an apology for dumping all this on him when he had said he wanted to stop communication. That she wouldn’t bother him again, but that she was grateful for all the correspondence they had shared, that maybe in another world they would have been able to know each other truly. That maybe they could have been more than just… whatever this was.

Before she could think better of it, she hit SEND and shut the laptop. She put the laptop back on her coffee table then went back to bed and attempted to sleep. Sleep, however, proved to be annoyingly elusive. Her thoughts and emotions raged in a million different directions, keeping her up with the chaos in her mind. When the first rays of morning snuck onto her bedspread, she got up and dressed in a haze. An hour later she’d somehow made it to work and into her office.

Once there, she had a few hours of peace. The onslaught of e-mails and cataloging that needed doing kept her mind blissfully busy as she downed mugs of coffee. She’d known she’d need it, so she’d just brought the whole coffee pot in. Merrill was a tea drinker so Emmy didn’t feel like she was depriving anyone of their fix.

As she was going over another e-mail about an upcoming auction asking for her attendance, she reached for her mug only to find it empty. With her eyes still on the computer screen, she felt around the surface of her desk for the space she’d left the coffee pot. Her hand fumbled about for a moment before her brows knit in irritation at the suddenly empty space.

“Did you really drink this entire pot yourself?”

Her eyes rose to find Dorian with his hip leaning against her desk. In one hand he held her kidnapped coffee, swirling it as he looked at her with eyebrows raised.

“You know that is bad for you right? You keep up this pace you’re going to give yourself heart palpitations.”

She frowned, “I haven’t drunk the entire pot. There is at least half a cup still left in there, so give it back so I can finish it up. Then you can lecture me properly.”

He shifted and turned so he could place it on the opposite side of her desk, well beyond her reach. Then he turned back to her and said with a forced nonchalance, “Didn’t get much sleep last night?”

She frowned. “Nope.” Then she stood to reach out and grab the pot, but Dorian got to it first, once more lifting it away from her. Her frown deepened. “What now, Dorian?”

“Don’t, ‘what now’ me. You know precisely why I’m here.”

She made her face neutral, “Because you want to die?”

His eyes widened in mock terror and he pulled further away from her, “That’s a bit extreme for coffee.”

She rolled her eyes before forcing a bright smile. “Hi, my name is Emmy. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Then she let her smile drop. She held out her hand, fingers wiggling in a “hand it over” gesture.

Dorian sighed a deep weary sigh but relinquished his hostage. “I’m only trying to prevent your early demise.” Then he mumbled, “though I can’t remember why at this moment.”

“Because I’m so sweet I make your teeth ache.”

“Is that why? I don’t believe I was thinking that at all. Although, speaking of,” He tapped his fingers on her desk, “You either did something wonderful to our bald professor or something terribly wicked. Perhaps both, now that I think of it.”

She startled, looking up at him from her pouring, “What are--”

“Coffee.”

She looked down to find that she’d shifted in her surprise and was now pouring coffee, unceremoniously, onto her desk. Quickly she stopped and slammed the pot down to the side.

“Motherfucker.”

“Or Professor Fucker, perhaps?”

She spoke as she shuffled through her drawers to find paper towels, “Dorian, you--”

“I did nothing. I believe it is you that did something.”

She found the paper towels and went to work trying to dab the coffee up before it soaked more of her papers.

Dorian watched as he added, “Unless you want to ease my worry and tell me you didn’t, in fact, go through with your plans.”

She kept her focus intent on the clean-up, “I went.”

He released a deep, bone-weary sigh, then growled out, “Festis bei umo canavarum.”

In response she mumbled, “Lasa adahl su nar masa.”

“Now that is unfair, what did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

There was blissful silence for a while as Dorian pouted. Emmy continued cleaning up the coffee spill, until she’d gone over the same spot twenty times. Dorian reached out and put his hand over her wrist.

“Emmy, what happened?”

Her eyes stayed on her hands. She remembered starkly how Solas had felt beneath her fingers, what his fingers had felt like on her skin. The look of his hands, long, masculine. How they’d clung to her, even the morning after. Imprints still left on her skin.

She swallowed, straightened her shoulders and pulled her wrist from Dorian’s hands. She crumbled the paper towels in her fist, turning to toss them in her waste bin. “I told you. I went. We had sex. I left. End of story.”

“That is… not what I expected.”

She sighed, “You knew the plan. I went with the plan.”

“I didn’t think you would. You’re--” He took a breath. “I saw him this morning. Went to his office to ask him something. He was withdrawn. No snark. I even took a book from his shelf, asked if I could borrow it. Do you know what he said?”

She moved to sit back down in her chair, shuffling papers she wasn’t actually looking at, “I’ve no idea.”

“He said, ‘As you wish.’”

“So?”

“There was no ‘Why do you want it, Dorian?’ No, ‘Bring it back by this time, Dorian.’ No, ‘Don’t do this or that with it, Dorian.’”

She took a deep breath, “What’s your point?”

“He is upset. I didn’t know he could be. To be honest, I’d not thought anything could faze the man, but right now... this is more emotion then I have seen from him the entire time I’ve known him. Whatever happened, he has really---”

She stood up with such force her chair banged against the cabinet behind her. Her hands pushed into the wood of her desk as she growled out, “He’s upset!? We had sex and I left him to go back to my apartment right next door. He knows I’m alive. He knows I’m okay and that I’m near. When he left me after we’d been together, without a word, it was for two fucking years. It would have been longer if coincidence hadn’t landed me here. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. I didn’t know what I did or if any of it meant shit to him. He kept away even after…” Her voice trailed off and she took several deep breaths.

Dorian spoke, “It’s alright to still be angry with him, you know, but you should try talking to him about it. It’s clear the man---”

“Please don’t.” She looked up to Dorian, feeling the corners of her eyes prick, “I can’t right now. I’m sorry I snapped at you. You were right before, I shouldn’t have slept with him, but I did. Now I just need time to think.”

“I’m always here for you, Emmy. I only,” He paused. “You deserve to be happy. That’s why I pester you. You know that, yes?”

She took yet another deep breath, “I know Dorian and I do appreciate that you care.”

Dorian gave her a nod and then headed out the door, shutting it quietly behind him. The moment it closed she slumped back into her chair, letting her head fall to rest on the cool wood of the desk.

For a few moments she remained that way. She allowed herself to try to think about what had happened. It was obvious she was still mad. Though she’d moved on, the hurt had never truly healed. It had simply scabbed over, and the moment he had shown up, it was ripped open again.

Despite the anger, she was still in love with him and part of her wanted to believe what Dorian seemed to. That same part of her wanted to believe what he had said the previous night. She wanted to believe that he wouldn’t leave her, that he wanted to know her again, that maybe he even loved her a bit. That part of her was an idiot. After what he did she should never want to see him again.

And yet…

Her fingers clenched and unclenched repetitively, a habit she had picked up from Solas when uncertainty struck her. Realizing this, she forced her fingers closed into fists.

Right now, her mind and emotions were warring.

Half of her was shouting that obviously he had feelings. He was hurt by her leaving, or Dorian was sure he was. He had been so passionate the night before. His words about wanting to do whatever he had done a million times over to have her again, rang in her head like a chorus. The way he had held her, kissed her, worshipped her, and then clung to her the next day. How he had been trying to apologize, to prove himself again even before she’d slept with him.

The other half of her kept reminding her that she had thought they had something before too. All those years ago, she’d loved him madly. He was the first man, the only man, she had considered spend a lifetime with. She thought he’d loved her, or something very close to it, and then… poof, gone. What if this was just that all over again and she hadn’t made any progress from the naive idiot she’d been then?

Emmy groaned and hit her head on the desk a couple times. This was going nowhere right now. She needed to actually do some of what she was being paid to do instead of just warring with herself. She gave one last knock of her head and then straightened, cracked her knuckles, and forced her mind back to work.

After the first hour passed, during which she found herself just as incapable of focusing, she managed to zone in on her work. As her work day was coming to a close there was a knock at her door. Merrill was scheduled to come talk over a new exhibit for the main library.

Since the visit was expected, Emmy didn’t bother looking up from her work as she spoke, “Come on in. I’ll be done in just a moment.”

Her focus stayed on the paper in front of her as she tried to quickly finish up the last of it. She heard the door open, then shut, and then the soft click of the lock. At the last sound her brows furrowed and she looked up.

“Why did---”

The words caught in her throat the moment her eyes landed on the tall form suddenly in her office. It only took him a few long strides to put himself in front of her desk. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little slip of black lace.

Fenedhis, she’d left her thong there. Now Solas held it out to her between two of his long fingers.

Then he spoke, voice low and emotionless, “I believe this is yours. I thought I should return it to you, or did you mean me to have it as some kind of souvenir?”

#dragon age fanfiction #solas #dorian #lavellan #solavellan #solavellan fanfiction #fen'harel #mistakes #emmy x solas #love-in-nature writing #my neighbor fen'harel

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suckitsurveys · 7 years

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Under the cut because the first answer’s pretty long.

Are you ready to just move on with your life and be on your own? On my own with Mark, yes. His mental health is very very bad right now and we really believe if we start over in a new place (and get him to a doctor of course) it will be so much better for him and for me too. This house is driving both of us crazy and as much as I love my dad and would stay here forever if I could because this is my house and I love it, but I just cannot live with my grandmother, who has recently moved in. Part of me doesn’t want to leave my dad alone with her and I know how much he appreciates us cooking and cleaning but I just can’t do it. It’s so bad for my mental health. I’ve literally cried every day this year with the exception of Wednesday over the fact that she’s here. I’m not comfortable in my house anymore. We are currently trying to save as much as we can and figure out what can work for us and I’m supposed to get a raise soon so hopefully we can GTFO before summer.

Who was the last person you shouted at? I don’t remember.

Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? I’m so ready for Rowan Blanchard to rule the world one day. <----YES PLEASE she is perfect.

What type of music was on the last CD you burnt? It was probably a mix. It’s been a long time.

What are you wearing right now? A tshirt, jeans, a hoodie.

Do you know what you’re going to do in your life? I’m pretty set in this job. I miiiiiiigght go back to school to become a child psychologist but I’m not sure many people would want to hire a childless child psychologist. Plus the thought of school makes me want to vomit, so.

Are you currently eating or drinking anything right now? A green tea latte.

Is there someone you want to walk in your doorway right now? It would be awesome if someone came through the front door and said “Hannah *****, you have just won $1000 a week for life!”

If so, who? ^

Do you listen to screamo music? Nah, not my thing.

I can’t live without… …my kitty.

I smell… …green tea latte.

I am jamming out to… …nothing. I’m at work.

I smile because… …my niece is adorable as hell.

Have you ever felt lonely and scared? Sure, hasn’t everyone?

Are you a generally happy person? I mean, sure.

Why do people think it’s cool to be rude? I don’t fucking know.

Do your parents spoil you rotten? Definitely not rotten.

What kind of car do you drive? A 2004 Nissan Pieceofshit.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I have a fiance.

If so, how long have you been together? 5 and a half years.

Do you know what Hookahville is? It sounds like a douchebag video game.

If so, are you attending it this year? Hahaha oops.

What is on the floor right now? I don’t feel like listing everything.

How many pets do you have? A kitty and a puppy.

Do you bang your head when you listen to rock? No.

Have you ever loved someone so bad it hurt? Sure.

Who makes you smile the most in your life? My niece and my fiance and my best friends.

Do you get complimented a lot? Nah, not really.

If so, what do you get complimented on the most? My hair.

Do you stay true to the people who mean the most to you? Yeah, why wouldn’t I?

Where is your best friend right now? At work, as far as I know.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? I mean, my mom has been aware that I have drank before I was 21, but since I did it in a (sort of) responsible manner (as in I called her to pick me up and didn’t get behind the wheel and was at someone’s house and not endangering myself or others) she’s been okay with it. And actually come to think it, most of the times (not that there were very many really) I have drank before I was 21, it was in my own backyard and I never got like crazy shitfaced from it. I’ve always been a responsible drinker.

Do you love the last boy/girl you talked to? Definitely not.

Will your next kiss be a mistake? Definitely not.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? This survey. It takes me a while to do these at work because I have to close the window if someone is walking by.

When was the last time you climbed through a window? When I was a kid.

What were you doing last night at midnight? Sleeping.

Do you believe in yourself? Eh, sometimes.

Do you think you will be successful in life? A successful trash can.

Would you rather have love or money? I already have love so gimme money please thank.

Is there anybody you want to get better right now? Yes. My fiance and I have been having horrible mental health issues lately and I would like that to get better please.

Give someone a shoutout, right now :) Hi.

Are you wearing any jewelry right now? Yes. I have three bracelets, a ring, and 4 earrings in right now. Oh and also a stud in my nose I constantly forget about.

What do you have pierced? ^

Do you speak on how you feel? Sometimes.

Is there anybody you need to fix things with right now? Nah.

Is there anything in the past that you would like to do all over again? I’m good.

How do you spend your summer nights? Outside with a bonfire is ideal.

Who spends the most time at your house? Mark.

Do you get along with your neighbors? Yeah, I like both sets of neighbors.

Do you have any cute boys on your block? I haven’t noticed.

What is your current favorite song? Good Grief by Bastille.

Are you craving anything right now? No.

What do you hear going on outside? I can’t really hear anything outside.

Is it sunny out? No.

Describe the perfect weather. If I am not doing anything outside, rainy and 70-80 degrees. Otherwise, Partly sunny and 80 derees.

Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? I don’t know who you are.

What are you having for dinner tonight? I think we might splurge and either get Kuma’s or BRGR Belly and watch Bob’s Burgers tonight because it’s been a stressful week.

#surveys

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moos-cow · 3 years

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Gemini

Chapter 4

Chapters: 1 | 1a | 1b | 1c | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Luka and Amaya took the carriage to the Central Quarter and headed to the market by foot. She followed him closely through crowded streets and bustling shops. The scene before her was beyond fascinating-- everything was bright, colorful, and refreshingly odd to the eye. The architecture screamed 1900s but their technology, being infused with Magic Crystals, reminded her very much of how the 21st century loaded everything up with solar panels and batteries.

Before she realized that she was slightly gawking at everything she saw, Amaya walked straight into Luka, bumping into his arm as he talked to one of the sellers.

"Ahh- Sorry!" she quickly apologized and backed up, holding onto his arm by reflex.

"Are you alright?" He spoke calmly after quickly wrapping up his conversation with the seller.

Placing a hand flat across her eye and forehead, she nodded in response, "Yes. I'm sorry, I just wasn't looking."

"That's fine." He let out a soft smile, "If you see anything you like, just tell me."

Instead of sight-seeing throughout the whole walk, she shifted her focus to eyeing whatever ingredients the Jack had left on his grocery list. Well, until she saw a certain tropical fruit. Mangoes!

Her gaze quickly shifted between the stall and Luka as she called to the officer, "Luka-" but her words were cut short when her eyes passed over a familiar face.

"Saw something you like?" Luka asked as he turned to her.

In a blink of an eye, the familiar face was gone. "Uh- no, no. Did you need anything else?" she dragged her answer as she scanned the faces of the people again and again before dismissing the thought.

God. Relax. I must have been imagining things, I definitely must have.

"Just some ale for tonight.” Luka said as he bent down just a bit to look at her at eye level. "Are you alright, Amaya?"

She blinked, fixing her gaze directly into his amber eyes, "I am. Why?"

"You're frowning." He stuck out a finger and poked the middle of her scrunched forehead.

"Huh? Oh-" she shook her head and let out a light laugh to clear the air between them, "Sorry. It's just a bad habit."

Luka stared at her for a few more moments, as if searching for the reason behind the frown. Though as awkward as it felt, she flashed him a bright smile and forced herself to keep her composure until he finally mustered a reply.

“Okay.”

They arrived back at headquarters past lunch. A couple of Luka's men greeted them and helped bring in the bags of groceries to the kitchen. Amaya strode to the kitchen with a spring in her step carrying a bag of fresh vegetables in one hand and a bag of wafers and gummies clutched protectively in the other. Despite Luka’s aloofness, he immediately noticed how she looked at those gummies and wafers from the candy cart that morning. He just had to get them.

As the two arranged the stocks in silence, a soft knock came by the door, "Excuse me sir Luka, miss Amaya, there's lunch waiting for you both." a young soldier softly called them from the kitchen doorway.

"We'll be there shortly. Thank you, Charles." Luka dismissed the young soldier. But despite his dismissal, Charles stood frozen by the doorway, copper eyes locked on the young lady arranging the tomatoes in silence beside Luka.

Amaya turned, accidentally meeting the eyes of the young soldier, "Uh, do you need anything, Charles?" He jumped at the question directed to him. He was a blushing mess, flushed bright red from ear to ear before scurrying away from the kitchen, just shy from bumping into Seth who was entering the kitchen.

"Oh! What happened to him?" Seth asks, slightly shocked and amused by the young soldier’s appearance.

"I'm not sure" "I don't know." The two answered in unison and shook their heads in confusion.

Seth chuckled and shrugged off the incident with the recruit before pulling Luka away for a quick word in the hall, mentioning something about finding a gang hideout in the outskirts of the Spades Quarter.

Alone in the kitchen, Amaya finished replacing the tea leaves Luka had left out. She felt something brush up against her lower leg. Thinking that it might be just an empty bag from earlier, she quickly disregarded it. But then it brushed up again, earning a glance from the young lady.

"Hm- AAAAAAAH!" She let out a bloodcurdling scream and jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter. Seth and Luka immediately rushed back into the kitchen holding the hilt of their weapons, only to find a trembling Amaya up on the counter, face drained of all color, and a black cat mewling at the bottom of the cabinets.

Dumbstruck by the scene before them, neither officer dared to move from their positions; watching as the cat comfortably sat and began to lick its front paw.

Ray came running in a few moments later, "What was that- Oh! Belle! There you are!" The King passed the two officers and crouched down to place the cat in his arms, petting it softly on the head.

"Amaya, are you… afraid of cats?" Luka hesitantly asked the young lady.

"Hm?" Ray's eyes widened at the Jack's question and turned to Amaya with Belle in his arms. She cowered further back on the counter, bumping into the jars of spices, trying to distance herself from the feline. Her reaction alone was enough to answer Luka's question.

"Just don't come any closer. Please." She frowned and softly pleaded to Ray, her eyes glued to Belle.

Picking up on the situation, Ray stepped back and burst out laughing. "Cats, really?” His laughter was so infectious, even Seth tried to stifle his own laughs.

“Stop scaring her, Ray.” Luka sighed from the doorway as he made his way between Alice and his King. “Belle’s not supposed to be in here anyway.”

"Alright, alright. Thanks for helping me find him, Amaya." Ray turned on his heel, chucking as he left the kitchen.

"God. I-" Not meeting anyone’s gaze, Amaya let out an exasperated sigh as she pushed herself off the counter top, her face flushed a bright pink. “Thank you.”

Later that evening, as per Seth’s request, another party was thrown to formally welcome Amaya into the Black Army. Officers and soldiers alike gathered in the dining hall as dishes and liquor poured out from the kitchen.

“Cheers! Welcome to the Black Army, Alice!” groups of soldiers led by Seth and Fenrir simultaneously raised their bottles and glasses in a vaguely chaotic ovation. Amaya raised her glass in response from the quiet sofa, laughing at the scene playing before her. She was never a fan of social events like parties, but she’d still appreciate watching how people got drunk and messed up from the sidelines.

“Water?” Sirius asked as he crashed on the seat beside her, curiously peeking into her half-filled glass. “You don’t drink, little lady?”

“This isn’t water,” she lightly laughed at his inquiry then lifted the glass up to his line of sight, but even that still earned her a questioning look from the Queen.

"I wouldn't give him that if I were you," Ray chimed in with some ale in hand and sat on the ottoman across from her. "He can't handle his alcohol well."

She immediately pulled her glass back and looked at her flushed seatmate with raised brows. "Oh, I see," She dragged her words out and chuckled at a sudden realization, "A lightweight."

"What’s that?" Ray asked after downing the rest of his drink.

"Vodka." she casually answered before pointing to the half-full bottle on the coffee table before them. "Luka and I happened to find it by chance at Central this morning. You want some?"

"Vodka, huh?" Ray answered her with a grin and picked up the bottle to study it, "I didn't peg you to be a hard drinker."

"I just don't drink beer, that's all."

"Ray! Stop hoarding Alice all to yourself!" a tipsy Seth came yelling at them, crashing down on the other seat beside Ray. "Alice, darling, some of the boys want to invite you to a little drinking game. Would you like to join us?"

"Uh, sure." she shrugged. Seth gave Fenrir and their troops a signal, and they all came to gather around the coffee table. Ray moved behind her to watch, holding the bottle of vodka safely away from the rowdy crowd.

"The game... Kings Cup!" Seth announced as he started placing the cards face down around a single cup then turned to Amaya. "Are you familiar with the game, sweetie?"

She hummed with a simple nod, signaling the start of the game. Being the only lady in the group, she was given the honor to draw the first card.

"Five." She flips the card to show the other players and laughs, "Well isn't this a good start?"

They all took a swig from their drinks before waiting for the next soldier to draw.

Four. Eight. King. Three. Nine. Six.

"Two!" Fenrir shouted as soon as he flipped his card. "Amaya! Amaya!"

She shrugged and casually lifted her glass up to her lips, taking a swig of the clear liquid. Some of the soldiers started to stare a bit longer at her glass thinking it was just water, but none really wanted to speak up.

Eight. Five. Queen. Seven. Three.

Seth drew a second King and poured more ale into the glass in the center, prompting a comment from Ray. "I honestly hope that Alice here doesn't draw a King." Spiking ale with vodka did not sound good at all to the King.

She laughed at his comment, earning her confused looks from the others, "Ah, true, especially if it'll be the last one."

Jack. Two. Queen. Ten.

"Oh, Ace?" Amaya announced as she flipped the card before her.

The crowd before her shouted in both a mix of despair and laughter. But one soldier's comment stood out the most among the clamor, "Good thing she has just a bit left in her glass!"

"Oh is that a challenge, soldier?" She raised her brow in an attempt to threaten, but her grin just kept getting in the way.

She asked Seth to refresh her on the meaning of the Ace, and like clockwork, he began to explain, "Ace, the waterfall. Whoever draws the card must start drinking; then, one by one, those on his or her left will start drinking as well. They won’t stop drinking until the circle is complete. They'll only stop until the person on their right stops drinking."

"Oh, I see." She set her glass on the table, turned back to Ray and pointed to the bottle in his hand. "Can I have that back?"

She was met with Ray’s widened eyes before he handed the bottle to her. She poured the vodka into her glass almost to the rim, earning dazed looks from those in front of her.

"I highly suggest you all get another bottle." another gentle voice chimed in from behind her. "She'll drown you."

"Luka!" She exclaimed, pouting at the spectator and quickly sticking out her tongue playfully.

When they bought liquor earlier that day, Amaya had requested for some vodka rather than ale, sparking a conversation between the two about liquor and the drinking habits they both had. She discovered that he couldn’t hold his alcohol well, while he found out that she was the utter opposite.

When all the players settled back in with a fresh bottle in hand, Amaya raised her glass in cheers, "Ura!" then carefully started drinking all the way, slowly, until her glass was emptied. She let out a soft sigh and nudged the soldier beside her, "Your turn!"

He slightly raised his hand then in a moment, darted for the bathroom in the desperate need to puke. Seth and some other soldiers leaned back in a daze, while Fenrir burst out laughing.

"Ya sure that isn't water, partner?" Fenrir asked Ray in between laughs.

“Hundred percent vodka, Fen.” Ray answered with a chuckle and began clapping Amaya on the shoulder, “Admit it, she totally smoked all of you there.”

"How can you even do that?!" one soldier questioned.

"I live in a country where vodka is like a diminutive form of water so…" she shrugged. “I guess I can just handle it fine?”

“FINE?!” Seth blurted out in shock, obviously and absolutely drunk. “YOU FINISHED A WHOLE BOTTLE OF VODKA, ALICE! HOW CAN YOU BE FINE?!”

Infectious laughter spread throughout the room, and the game played on. A couple of soldiers had to run for the restroom to puke, but none surrendered until Fenrir flipped the last King.

“I call for the rule of the two!” Fenrir declared as he took the ale-filled glass at the center of the table. “Amaya, bud, ya have to take half of this.”

“Hmm-” she stared at the tall glass for a moment before agreeing to the Ace. He filled her glass right up with the ale and with a clink, they both downed the alcohol like nothing else mattered in the whole world.

“Ahh! That tastes weird!” She exclaimed, clearly disgusted by the bitter taste of beer.

The party lasted long into the wee hours of the morning. Sirius and some other soldiers who were sober enough helped clean the lounge, while Ray and Luka brought the very drunk Seth and Fenrir back to their bedrooms.

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