Something about Nadja mentioning trying to lose her virginity multiple times on a beach in Antipaxos in episode 2
Something about Nadja's ghost wanting to lose her virginity too this season (meaning Nadja never had sex before she was a vampire), as seen from the trailers
Something about her relationship with her Sire, The Baron, knowing they had/have a sexual relationship and that he was most likely the one she lost her virginity to
Something about how Guillermo's turning is framed as a metaphor for his first time having sex
Something about her and Guillermo having time to possibly talk about all this in episode 5
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One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.
Follow me now-
I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.
Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.
-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.
(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)
I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:
"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.
I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.
Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.
In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."
While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.
That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).
The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.
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Minewt is so very very important to me
Minho, who is strong and confident, but not emotionally, someone who shies away from more delicate moments, squirms when it gets emotional, will do something nice for someone else but will not make eye contact as he does so
Newt, who is strong and confident, especially emotionally, someone who will grin as they accept help, someone who will willingly die to help someone else, someone who will hug someone in public and not show a hint of shame after, someone who will cry and not care if they're seen
Minho falling head over heels for that sense of safety, for that confidence, for that unabashed vulnerability. Meanwhile Newt is utterly clueless
while Minho is doing things that are the pinnacle of romance to his "affection is awkward" mind, Newt is just like "hey Minho left me a snack! he's been really nice lately :D"
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"you have nothing to be stressed out about you're literally in school wait until you're an adult and-" NO SHUT UP you have no clue what its like to be a teenage girl nowadays, you always have to look good and smile even when you dont feel like it, sometimes you feel so alone when your friends already have other friends, you feel pressured to be pretty because you like this guy and then you start feeling so insecure about yourself and you start to notice the tiny tiny flaws of yourself, you have to keep your grades up even when you're burnt out because thats what matters right, the grades? but then there are the kids who have the extracurriculars, the pressure from their parents that they have to do more even when they really dont want to and still through all of that we have to be happy. like damn. give me a break.
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Jean's Life - before | next
Jean almost expected her mother to open the door and embrace her with a warm smile, jazz would be playing from the living room and the smell of freshly baked peach pie would be in the air, but no one opened the door and it was unnaturally quiet as if the house already knew that its owner was gone, only from the playground on the other side of the street could she make out the loud laughter of children.
Exhausted and overcome by her emotions, she sat down on the steps in front of the house, they were still warm from the afternoon sun, although a cool evening breeze was already blowing from the west, which carried the smell of autumn and decay. She knew what had to be done, what arrangements had to be made, and yet she couldn't even muster the courage to go to the entrance, unlock the door, and enter the house. Lost in thought, she gazed into the distance and gave free rein to her pain.
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One of my favorite (if not my favorite) admissions of love in fiction is Mark Darcys "i like you very much, just as you are" from Bridget Jones's Diary.
He tells her that he likes her but she interrupts him with oh apart from all of these awful things sbout me and starts listing things and mark just hits her with "just as you are"... not thinner, or better, or smarter, or more polite or more organized or successful.. just as she is, with all of her mess and imperfections, just as she fucking is!
The lyric "I've loved him, since he was born" during ed and stedes reunion is so "i like you very much, just as you are"!!!
Ed and stede are two people who've felt/been unloved for so much of their lives, childhood and adulthood. They (and even the world) hate parts of themselves, parts of themselves that the other absolutely fucking ADORES about them! They've loved eachother since they were born! They love who the other was, who the other is and who the other will be! Just as they are!!
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