#but other times

[sluttylittlewaste]

One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.

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I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.

Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.

-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.

(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)

I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:

"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.

I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.

Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.

In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."

While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.

That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).

The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.

#this is barely coherent #there's just this wild juxtaposition that I feel like comes up a lot on Tumblr #it seems to happen specifically with ND characters that people see a lot of themselves in #where even if the flaws and complications of that Neurodivergence are being assessed and deconstructed #people will plant their feet on “she can do no wrong!” #and sometimes it's whatever because it's just a fictional character #but other times #like with Kristen Applebees #where the defensiveness has the flavor or being deeply honest #which concerns me #like I truly hope y'all are putting more effort into handling real world criticism than you do with fictional shit #the instantaneous demonization of anyone who isn't tooth grindingly supportive of the Bad Kids (namely Kristen) is worrying #kipperlily is allowed to be mad at Kristen for winning! She may have done some shifty shit #but you can't say she didn't try really hard to win #and Kristen didn't even do her own shrimp jump. she only ran because she immediately disliked kipperlily #and ever Kristen's reason for disliking Kipperlily isn't fair??? #Like it started before they realized the whole rat grinder conspiracy #she just didn't like that Kipperlily was a Type A overachiever #which has nothing to do with Copperkettle #and everything to do with Kristen's own insecurities #as for the relationship aspect #i have a lot of concerns about how people on Tumblr talk about relationships #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #rant #kristen applebees #i guess

[b100k]

i love watching game grumps because sometimes it'll help me fall asleep and other times it makes me laugh until i get violent hiccups

#game grumps #like game grumps compilations are so good to actually sleep to #but other times #like right now #i laugh until i almost vomit

[andy-clutterbuck]

#look at his big beautiful rectangle head i love it #Andrew Lincoln #* #andygifs #excuse me but The Nose™ #shoutout to nigel and laura for giving their son his face #his eyes are so soothing #his entire face really #just like *SIGH* #but other times #if I lay here.....if I just lay here....you could step on me and that'd be fine #*apologizes to snow patrol* #i heard chasing cars playing in a walmart the other day and i think i started to disassociate for a minute #that bottom lip is illegal #H A N D S #the first gif has me on the floor #santa stubble (◡‿◡✿) #the most beautiful big ol forehead #(◡‿◡✿) all the kisses

[spiderblog-mcu]

I really went from a guy who doesn’t text me first for 2 months to a guy who lid down on the floor with me while I was having awful period cramps. Ladies, keep them standards up.

#have high standards #know your worth #because sometimes #men aint shit #but other times #not all men #also #periods suck

[defensivelee]

got whumperflies so bad it genuinely fucking hurts like oh my fucking god

#vent cw #whump tag #sometimes --very rarely-- i have to stop writing bc smth genuinely upsets me #but other times #it's so good #too good #it's making me think lots #and it makes me so weirdly excited my belly starts hurting #like what i'm writing rn #and ugh !!! #i wanna write. i'm in the mood #but i just HAVE to stop it hurts so bad and the excitement is so much i have to lie down and just. think abt it #which SUCKS #bc i have the motivation now but if i go any further i feel like i'll throw up #i just feel like my stomach is too linked to my emotions sometimes #it might be ibs but idk #just. ack #i wanna write so so so bad just let me finish this plsss

[party-gilmore]

when somebody's in my kitchen when i am/want to be alone in my kitchen: haha bay leaf? lol more like bae, leave, amiright? haha... ha... ...okay no but seriously tho

#sometimes the kitchen is a living room/den #but other times #she is a dressing room

[rustbeltjessie]

The first of May was hella cold and rainy here, this year, so I couldn’t actually go outside and plant real flowers. Instead, I made flowers with segments of an old egg carton + some wooden skewers (and paint, o’ course), then put them in a ‘vase’ made from an empty tea tin + rocks.

(May 1, 2023)

#rust belt jessie #arts and crafts #fake flowers #diy? because i gotta #things i made #my photos #sometimes i wish i wasn’t a pack rat who saved everything #(i #e. egg cartons and skewers and tea tins and rocks) #but other times #when i find uses like this for them #i am v glad i am a pack rat who saves everything #my partner and kids and my mom #all said these flowers look like real tulips #so i’m pretty happy with this project!

[raveartts]

i told my mom i was busy painting, and she asked if she could see it when it's done....i really hope she forgets about it entirely...

#rave ramblees #...this might turn into a bit of a vent #but i just hate showing her my art #i used to show her stuff with pride #and...usually she compliments it so whatever #but other times #usually when it's a drawing she specifically asked me to do for her #she immediately finds something wrong with it to point out #not even a glaring mistake just...'i don't think it looks how i think it should look' #or it's 'not as good as i expected from you' #and then she realizes her mistake and tries to quickly compliment it so i don't feel bad or anything #....like perhaps you should just keep comments to yourself in the first fucking place #honestly i think the negative comments are still preferable to that hemming and hawing as she sees a drawing she doesn't like #and the awkward attempt to make it sound like she likes it afterwards #when i gave her her birthday card today. i'm aware it looks pretty crap. i'm not great with charcoal. or foxes apparently #but i was honestly a bit shocked that she didn't even say it looked weird/off #...which i think is a sad expectation to have #but nevertheless i just don't want to show her anything i make anymore #she doesn't DESERVE to see it if she's gonna act like that #it really does piss me off that I can make something incredible now that she'd dislike and criticize #when as a kid. i could hand her a pile of dogshit on paper and she'd act like she adored it #it's so stupid to be jealous of the way kids get treated probably. but i think i still deserve to make shitty things and not get hate forit #if something i drew as a kid could be complimented. anything i draw at the same level now should get the same reaction??? #why must I be absolutely perfect and talented simply because i'm a little older? #i sound like a boomer but Kids Have It Too Easy and im jealous and could i just have people love me unconditionally even if im not perfect? #children get loved for fucking existing without being good at anything #i only get what i want if i go above and beyond...even if i'm already better than everyone else at a baseline level #it doesn't fucking matter if i tried hard or put effort in if the end product isn't perfection #i tested this once. giving my mom a drawing perfectly replicating my childhood quality/style #only for her to be extremely disappointed and laugh at it

[daydadahlias]

I'm not OP but I don't think that anon was trying to be a racist or a misogynist, they seemed confused about a lyric. I appreciate you being a voice for equality, I just don't think your language was very kind or helpful in teaching why that is not an appropriate way to describe a POC. Believe me I know how exhausting it is to fight racial prejudice so I get it, but that reaction is not the best way to educate others. Just my 2 cents. ✌🏽

and I do completely understand that, and I appreciate this ask and its intention. i am a very aggressive, defensive person. I will never deny that. My irritation stems from seeing lots of consistent racism and misogyny in reference to 5sos' girlfriends and when I see things in my inbox like that, in direct conversation with me, I tend to have a knee jerk reaction (and I also have Not answered Several Asks I've gotten lately about such subjects and tonight I was feeling feisty due to the ~build up of emotion~).

I don't like people making bold claims about the interpersonal workings of celebrities' relationships or implying Luke Hemmings feels immense guilt to do with a partnership they aren't involved in.

I will try not to be so aggressive in the future but in this specific instance, I allowed myself the outlet to be angry. I also think it’s worth baring in mind that I, as a 19 yo 5sos blogger, am not responsible for other people’s education. 

#this is a very polite ask #and i do appreciate it #and i often times try to refrain myself from coming off as very aggressive #but other times #i cant really help the urge #i water down a lot of myself on here man #i really really do #i try so hard not to be aggressive #but sometimes. i gotta be #there are times in my life where i dont. want to give grace #and seeing as this is my platform #and i say this kindly genuinely #i get to be angry sometimes. #but i do appreciate this #thank you for telling me #i will be truthful with you that my intention was not to be kind #i wasnt even remotely trying to be kind #the ask pissed me off #pigeon #anon #also u know the bo burnham lyric that's like #'dont burden me with the responsibility of educating you'? #sometimes i like... dont want to do that #i do it a lot #and sometimes im just over it

[coldvampire]

i need to figure out smth to do with my brain but i am tired however i am bored to the point of distress and thats making me want to cause problems gfhgjhj

#like i either need to FIGHT or just gfhgh make myself have a breakdown bc listen i DO have stuff to have one over okay gfhhjgjh #im positive i can figure out more things gfhgjh #ex i usually end up in a massive depressive spiral near my birthday so this tracks. #also come to realize im the [redacted] friend and i am not coping gfhgjh #sometimes i like. lowkey forget when im busy w other stuff ngl lmao thanks adhd #but OTHER TIMES #anyway.

[tariah23]

Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess

#Crunchyroll #piracy #funimation #money hungry ass streaming service #rambling #I’ve never paid for a streaming service in my life thank god #I appreciated using others accounts but I personally cannot see myself paying this much for a service if I had the funds 😭! #get back to pirating kings!!! #anime has always been one of the easiest forms of media to pirate anyway so y’all got this #CR is definitely not worth paying for though #CR is certainly not worth paying this much for even if it’s a yearly one time fee #capitalism #the fact that CR has always had pretty bad quality as a streaming service anyway #it buffers every time you pause or rewind anything

[calamitys-child]

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

#other good ones are crocuses and lilacs #one time I was ill and depressed and my mum brought me a lil milk bottle full of fresh cut sweet peas from her garden 💖 #i like that theyre colourful and i like climbing plants and they smell amazing #posts brought to you by me going to the park on my lunch break just to see all the crocuses

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16 #he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him #Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios #like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj #Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life #everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down #Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery #Kabru is so locked in #Kabru used signature move: charming smile #Laios: no effect! #there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #wasabi rambles #seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian #baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO

[give-soup-please]

raise a glass to the posts you love that end up deleted. to the fanart and fanfics you lose track of and can't locate. to the blogs you used to look through that ended up unexpectedly disappearing. to the things you didn't archive because you always assumed they'd be there.

#personal #i am having feelings about not being able to find everything i set out to find #or in my case- rediscover #i'm locating and reblogging a few GO posts that might otherwise be lost to time and other forces

[mebssann]

local old man finally gets new clothes

#this was inspired by that one AT comic where Ice King goes out and shops for new clothes with pb and marcy it was soo cute #but fr let this man wear something other than a suit and tie #adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #marceline abadeer #princess bubblegum #fanart #digital art #my art

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

#fionna and cake spoilers #what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives #when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been #and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of #even in the form of simplicity and just being normal #“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov” #it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically #and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands #tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition #also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them #fionna the human #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #qiiarts #the lil flashback of #betty grof #fionna and cake #adventure time