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#and even when we try we are mocked for not doing something right
xxbimbobunnyxx · 2 days
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Older!DinerOwner!Eddie x Fem!Reader
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This is for my 1.6k celebration based on the prompt “make me” requested by @gri959 ❣️
Summary: You’ve been fucking your boss for almost a year now and he still won’t make it official, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. Wk: 1.5k
Warnings: Age gap(Eddie is early 40s reader is mid 20s), jealous/possessive Eddie, spanking, hair pulling, unprotected sex, breeding kink. 18+MNDI!!
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You were driving Eddie absolutely insane, and you knew it too. It was like somehow your little work dress seemed even tighter tonight and the way you were walking around swinging your hips, leaning down on your hands in front of customers faces, giving them a nice little peek at your perfect tits.
It didn’t help that you were being extra flirty with the new line cook, Alex. He was your age and he honestly kind of reminded Eddie of himself when he was younger. Why would you want him when you could have the newer model? But despite his insecurity that was rearing its ugly head, Eddie knew he had you wrapped around his thick ringed finger and that you were just doing this to rile him up.
“When you’re done with this table, come talk to me.” Eddie brushes past you while you’re taking an order, leaning down to whisper in your ear. You make eye contact with him just long enough for him to see you roll your eyes as he’s walking off.
“What’s up?” You walk over to where Eddie is standing behind the counter near the register and look up at him all innocently, which you are far from.
“What’s up? You know exactly what’s up, I know what you’re doing, quit it out.” Eddie looks down at you through slanted eyes, his tone a gruff whisper.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about? I’m just doing my job.” You raise an eyebrow at him and set your lips into a mock pout.
“Drop the innocent act. You’re trying to make me jealous, just admit it.” He smirks at you and leans down further than is probably appropriate for a boss and employee, but he honestly doesn’t give a fuck, it’s his diner, he can do whatever he wants.
“Why would I be trying to make you jealous? There’s nothing going on between us, right?” You turn your head slightly, lowering your voice even more to make absolutely sure only he would hear. “It’s just physical, right? So why would you be jealous?”
“You know what?” Eddie’s jaw ticks as he exhales through his nose. “I want to talk to you in my office after we close.”
“Yeah? About what? I have plans.”
“And I don’t care. I’m your boss and I need to speak to you about something regarding your job. Now get back to work.” He walks off, not giving you time to argue further.
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“Okay, what’s the deal?” You walk into Eddie’s office, pushing the door closed behind you and stand in front of his desk with your arms crossed.
“Are you serious?” Eddie scoffs, abandoning the document he was signing on his desk in favor of glaring up at you.
“Umm yeah? You told me to meet you here and you didn’t say why so I’m asking what you wanted? Pretty normal if you ask me.” You shrug and Eddie swears he can make out the faintest hint of a smirk on your lips.
“Oh, sweetheart, don’t play games you know you’ll lose.” Eddie chuckles, pushing up from his chair to come around and lean against the desk in front of you. “You really thought you were being sneaky? Prancing around here like that, bending over right where I can see, flirting with my employees, did you get a new bra? I’m not blind, baby.”
“Like I said before, there’s nothing going on between us… so… why would you be jealous?” You fully smirk at him now and god he wants to wipe it off your pretty little face.
“Just admit it, you were trying to make me jealous.” Eddie returns your smirk with one of his own as he leans back on his hands and crosses his legs. He’s so hot in those black Dickies work pants and his non-slip converse. He has on his restaurant manager shirt that accentuates his toned chest and shows off his thick tattooed arms. His hair is in that low bun that you love to rip out when he goes down on you and his facial hair is just a little longer than usual. Fuck.
“Why don’t you just admit that you were jealous then?” You give him a pointed look and he exhales through his nose because he’s about at his limit with your attitude.
“You know what? Bend over the desk.” He steps to the side, patting his hand against the wood.
“Why don’t you make me?” You roll your eyes, a dry chuckle escaping your lips, and that’s his final straw. He closes the distance between you and laces his fingers through your hair, pulling your face so it’s inches from his as his glowers down at you with his honey eyed stare.
“I said bend over the fucking desk.” He says your name through gritted teeth as his grip on your hair tightens, causing you to whimper, your bratty facade already breaking. “I’m not going to ask again.”
“Fuck, okay.” He releases your hair and you whine as you walk on already semi shaky legs over to his desk, laying your top half across it, causing your dress to ride up and show off a sliver of your panties. “If you weren’t jealous you wouldn’t be all worked up like this so maybe you should just -“ your sentence is cut short when a harsh smack lands on your ass, making you yelp.
“Drop the attitude, doll.” Eddie’s hand pushes your dress up to reveal your plush asscheeks and tiny lacy underwear that barely cover anything. He pushes himself against you, his already hard cock brushing up against your barely covered pussy. His hands grip onto the globes of your ass, kneading it and shaking it in his palms. “I don’t know why you’re walking around here trying to act like this ass doesn’t belong to me, you know it does.”
“Maybe you should just get over yourself and make me your girlfriend then.” Your snarky tone earns you another spank, rougher than the last.
“What did I say about the attitude?” Both of his hands come down on your ass, his rings stinging against your skin causing you to moan. He does it again. And again. Until he starts to see faint welts from his rings and the marks of his handprints.
“This ass is mine.” One of his hands travels down to cup your pussy, thrusting the heel of his palm against your clit. “This pussy is fucking mine. Say it.”
“Admit you were jealous then.” Your voice comes out way whinier than you’d hoped, it practically sounds like you’re begging him as you subconsciously grind down against his hand. “Say you’re mine too.”
“You want me to be yours, baby, huh?” He pushes your panties to the side and runs his fingers through the slick lips of your pussy before bringing the tips of his fingers to your clit, circling it. “Tell me who owns this pussy then. Tell me and I’ll give you this dick.”
“It’s yours, Eddie, it’s all yours, m’yours.” You sound cock drunk already and he’s barely even touched you but you don’t even care. You want him so bad. You’re putty in his hands and he knows it.
“Yeah, that’s right baby girl, I fucking own you.” You hear the clanking of his belt before you feel the tip of his cock running through your folds, he collects your wetness, using his hand to jerk it along his shaft. He pushes his tip in, pulling it back out a few times before slamming into you. He starts fucking into you at a brutal pace, the desk sliding against the floor, your hips slapping together.
“Fuck, fuck yes, feels so good.” He’s so deep from this angle, practically bullying your sweet spot as your hips dig into the wood of the desk.
“Yeah, that’s right, take this fucking dick baby. This is my pussy, you’re so fucking tight, damn.” One of Eddie’s thick inked arms laces around your shoulders, pulling you up so your back is flush against his hard chest while his other finds your clit, his thumb rubbing quick circles against it.
“Oh god - fuck, fuck Eddie, I’m gonna cum.” You’re practically drooling as he plows into you from behind, he shoves his hand down your dress and into your bra, expertly finding your nipple and tweaking it between his fingers. “Shit, I’m cumming, tell me you’re mine Eddie, please, need to hear it.”
“I’m yours baby, this dick is fucking yours, pussy feels so fucking good squeezing me like that.” Eddie buries his face in the crook of your neck, placing sloppy open mouthed kisses there. “Gonna fill this pussy up, paint those pretty little walls, maybe I’ll knock you up, then everybody will really know who I belong to.”
“Yes, fucking fill me, fuck a baby into me, want it so bad.” Eddie groans, his hips still against yours as his cock twitches, ropes of his cum spilling inside you.
“Fuck, baby doll, fuck.” Eddie breathes heavily as he pulls out of you, grabbing onto your hips to flip you around. He reaches down between your legs, gathering the cum that dripped out so he can push it back inside of you. “Wouldn’t want any to go to waste, would we?”
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Divider is by @strangergraphics & older!Eddie edit is by @eddiemunsons-missingnipple
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peachigummi · 22 hours
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finally! .☘︎ ݁˖ mattheo riddle.
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summary:  just silly little roommates, that "hate" each other. one of pansy's infamous drinks help loosen things up during slytherin game night.
pairing: mattheo x fem! reader
warnings: mostly fluff?, slight intoxication by a potion similar to amortentia? but like i said...it helps loosens up some tension...not to spoil but to provide the warning, ~sigh~ smut as in hand job, oral (giving), swallowing (would be a cum dumpster easy for this guy) fingering, unprotected p in v (bro just loves the pull out method...for now 🤭 just wait until he wants to be a father...go see my arranged marriage story for that HA!), implied aftercare.
note: just the type of thing you'll imagine when you're trying to fall asleep. a delulu scenario a day keeps the doctor away.
word count: 8.9k (it builds up to the smut alright!)
(slightly not really proofread…again)
reblogs & comments are begged for tbh. dont make me beg like how mattheo will be hehehehahhah
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+*゚
You were at your bed, enjoying the quiet of the evening, until you felt the doorknob rattle before opening. You couldn’t help but take a deep breath and roll your eyes, it was at this point a natural reflex. 
Mattheo walked in, decked out in his quidditch gear. He took off his gloves, tossing them on this desk. He glanced over at you, walking over and then leaning over your shoulder to see what you were reading. 
You closed your book half way, keeping your finger in between to keep your place, you looked at him before turning to your side, “buzz off Riddle.” You opened the book again to continue reading.
Mattheo chuckled, raising an eyebrow, shaking his head. He took the book from your hand, closing it and placing it on the bedside table, “aww, is that how you say hi to your favorite roommate?~”
You scoff, and sit up to get your book from the table, “Hiii MaTthEooo” You say fakely, you looked him over, “I’m assuming you guys didn’t win? You would have been going out for drinks if you did.” You huffed.
Mattheo rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, crossing his arms over his chest and sighing. 
“Yea, we didn’t win. The other team cheated anyway. But you’re right, Y/N, if we won I would’ve been out for a couple shots.” He smirked, sitting down at his bed, still looking at you.
“Too bad, so sad.” you made a fake crying look, using your balled up fists to your face to mock him, “go shower you stink. Like bad!” you plug your nose, opening your book once more. You wanted to get lost in the mystery romance you had been reading, you were almost finished.
Mattheo just gathered a fresh set of clothes and headed to the shared bathroom.
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。゚
He later came out with just his sweats and was in the act of putting his shirt on, you couldn’t help but glance over at him. He was definitely toned, with nice biceps and forearms because of the sport. He noticed you looking at him, “My, my, were you just checkin’ me out?” he teased, he sat on his bed. He flexed his arms for you, winking.
“I wasn’t. It's just that you still look dirty.” It was all you could come up with, your eyes returned to the page in front of you but you couldn’t focus.
He laughed again, grinning like an idea, he knew you weren’t staring at him because of that, he quickly went back to your bedside, snatching your book out of your hands, “dirty in what way, ~love?” He questioned jokingly, leaning forward over you with a smirk.
You groaned, grabbing one of your pillows to smack him in the face. He took a step back laughing. You reached over in your nightstand and took out some headphones, maybe if you were to play music you can tune mattheo out.
“That won’t work on me!” he loudly said other music, snatching your headphones off your head and dropping on the bedside table.
“GOD Mattheo!” You say annoyed, “don’t you have something better to do!?”
He smiled to himself, but backed up into his bed, he loved to annoy you, it was entertaining. “Nope. I'm bored and don't know what to do. That’s why I'm playing with you, Y/N.”
“Go look for Teddy, Enzo, Draco, FUCK go to one of your girlfriends’ room.” I groan into my hands.
He snickered as you said the last one raising an eyebrow and grinning widely, he knew how much you actually didn’t want him to go into another girl’s dorm room. He shook his head, sitting up straight, “Nah, pissing you off is way more fun.” He looked you up and down, “Would you be jealous if I did?”
“No. The only jealousy I feel is because they have peace and quiet in their rooms right now.” you were growing quite frustrated at Mattheo.
He loved seeing you like this, he knew exactly how to press your buttons like no one else, “Uh huh, that’s all? You’re not even a little tiny bit jealous of someone else having my attention?” 
“Why would I be? I’m begging you to go give it to someone else. Make them feed you the attention you need.”
He rolled his eyes, acting offended. “Damn you’re harsh. You’re sure you’re not just hiding your attraction for me?”
You wanted to scream but instead you snatched your book and headphones from your table. You weren’t going to entertain him any longer. You left the room, making sure to slam the door as you did so. You went down and found an empty couch that faced a window. There were only a handful of people around, they were all just studying or chatting. With a sigh you slipped your headphones, looking out the window. It had been raining, and the reflection of the fireplace danced with the droplets. 
Mattheo had sat there on his bed for a second after you left, contemplating on whether he should follow you or not. He eventually decided to, knowing he’d go crazy out of boredom if he stayed in the room. He silently followed you down to the common room. 
He spotted you sitting at a couch, his eyes wandered over your figure as his thoughts traveled to various places.
He sat down on a separate couch quietly. He leaned back, crossing his legs and sort of watched you. Mattheo hated to admit it, but he found you quite pretty. He wouldn’t say that out loud though, it was much more fun to make you angry.
You tried to focus on your book, but you couldn't. You were exhausted because of Mattheo. You carefully laid down, listening to the muggle music. Paying attention to the lyrics until your eyes got heavy and you drifted off to sleep. 
Mattheo didn’t expect you to fall asleep when he didn’t see you sit up after a while. He snuck quietly behind the couch you were laying on and watched you. Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder, it was Theodore.
“Whatcha-” he began but mattheo hit him to shut up.
“Don’t wake her up.”
Theodore leaned over too, noticing Y/N sleeping. He gave Mattheo a funny look, seeing how he was admiring you just a second ago when he thought no one was watching. 
“Since when do you care?” he whispered, holding back a laugh.
Mattheo raised an eyebrow, turning back to look at Theo, “shut up. I don’t care…it just that she looks cute when she sleeps…shut up!” he hissed, a small blush forming on his cheeks as he said that aloud, hoping theo didn’t notice.
“Say whaaat?” Theo acted shocked, rolling his eyes. “Just carry her back to your guy’s dorm. I don’t trust her being out here in the common room. Too many sneaky bastards ready to play tricks.”
Theo was right, it wouldn’t be the first time someone pulled a stupid trick on a defenseless sleeping student. “Yeah yeah, just shut up. I’m doing it, just grab her things. Will you?”
Mattheo was able to lift you with ease, holding you like a damn princess. He couldn’t help thinking about you in that way, like he was rescuing you. 
Theodore just followed Mattheo has he climbed up the stairs back into your shared dorm. He laid your possessions on your desk, “night Mattheo.” He said leaving.
Mattheo nodded at him, laying you down on your bed. He took your blanket to cover you. He ran a hand through his hair, looking to the door and closing it. He brought his attention back to you. How on earth did someone look so damn adorable when sleeping?
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+ reng
You began to stir a little bit, you let out a faint pained moan. Your face scrunched minutely, your hands grabbing hold of your bed sheets. Knuckles turning white. It would have been hard to miss, but Mattheo had been watching over you for a while now, so he noticed the change immediately. 
He quickly sat up from his bed, pulling his legs forward. He was immediately concerned, he stood up and walked over to your bed. He knelt down beside you, staring. You let out another whimper. 
Mattheo reached over, gently shaking your shoulder, wondering if you were having another nightmare, “hey hey, Y/N. are you okay?” He mumbled not trying to frighten you more.
You immediately woke up to his touch, you were still just as afraid, still believing you were dreaming. You sat up quickly, looking down at Mattheo, then the room. “how..I swear I fell asleep on the couch..”
“Yeah you did. I carried you back here. Theo and I both didn’t trust others to not play a truck on you while you slept.” He quickly explained.
“You..carried me?” You looked at him in disbelief. How did you not wake to that? He smirked, nodding, he took it as a compliment to his strength. “How long were you watching me, weirdo?” You tried to play along with him in an attempt to shake your fear away.
He rolled his eyes, grinning faintly at your comment, but he saw through it. Mattheo could tell you were still afraid, but he egged you on. “Long enough to see your boogers.”
You let out a small laugh, but turning to check your nose. “Shut up..just go back to sleep.” You say quietly, “but can you leave the light on…just for tonight.”
“Are you scared of the dark or something now?” He wanted to laugh, but didn’t want to make you feel bad.
“No..it's just that. I sometimes suffer from sleep paralysis. It’s usually figures of my parents. They watch me from the foot of my bed.” You shut up, “I don’t know why I'm telling you this.” You turned back to your side, facing away from Mattheo, pulling your blanket up to your chin.
“No please, tell me more…” He meant it, he was interested but also kind of creeped out. He looked between you and the foot of your bed half expecting to see your parents too. He started to feel guilt, knowing what was to come. But he thought, if you talked about it, it might make you feel better. “This isn’t the first time I've seen you have a nightmare. Why do you think you see figures of your parents..?” He questioned quietly, his voice lacking any sarcasm.
“I don't know, '' You whispered back, “I try to wake up from it, but I just can’t move. It feels like I'm being stepped on. I try to convince myself every time, that there’s no way they could have escaped Azkaban…that there’s no way they would just be there… staring at me.”
Mattheo sighed, he didn’t understand why he began to strongly feel the need to comfort you. He usually didn’t care about other people’s feelings, maybe it was guilt. That his father probably had something to do with your parents being locked away. “Do they ever do anything?”
“It’s usually just staring at me..other times they choke me out..or they just wail loudly. It’s always something about how I didn't help them enough…” you felt your voice shake, you felt like crying but you just cleared your throat. You closed your eyes to try and think about nice things, like your book.
Hearing you explain that made Mattheo’s heart ache.
“I need to see a therapist.” You let out a small pathetic laugh when mattheo stayed quiet.
Mattheo clenched his jaw, he hated hearing how frightened you sounded. He saw how you tried to laugh it off but he could tell how bad this was affecting you. He hated that this was going on behind the scenes to you…why did he hate that it was happening to you of all people. “Why don’t you?” He genuinely asked.
You shrug, you knew mattheo was still right next to you, judging by how close his voice was. With your back still to him, you lifted a corner of your blanket out to him, without a word.
Mattheo raised an eyebrow when you lifted your blanket to him, he was confused until he realized that you were silently telling him to get into your bed. His eyes widened slightly, and he didn’t move at first. He thought it over quickly, slowly and cautiously getting into your bed pulling the blanket over him as well. He was laying on his back, careful not to touch you. 
He wanted to break the tension and laugh, but you beat him to it as you flipped around to face him, “no funny business Mattheo, I mean it.” 
He smiled faintly but nodded, he watched your face, “don’t worry…I won't try anything.” He mumbled, “why don’t you scooch closer? Might make you feel better…” 
You only reached out to grab his arm to hold. It felt so warm and muscular. You could feel his breathing through the movement of the bed. Its rhythm helped put you back at ease. You closed your eyes once more.
Mattheo smiled to himself, when you grabbed hold of his arm it made his heart beat faster. He didn’t mind though, looking at you, you looked like a little koala cuddling into him. He hesitated tucking your hair back, but he did with a shaky hand. His mind was racing. He watched you drift to sleep, with the light from the lamp illuminating your face. Why was he suddenly finding himself finding you cute.. and pretty.. and endearing..and-
“Thank you mattheo.” you mumbled.
His heart skipped, he was surprised that you managed to say that before falling asleep, “you’re safe princess.” he said quietly. 
You thought your mind was still playing tricks on you, but you swore he just called you princess. You couldn’t help but smile. You didn’t have sleep paralysis for the rest of that night. And not once did you let go of his arm.
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+
The next morning you woke up and noticed that you were still holding onto him, you felt your face blush. You looked over at Mattheo, he was still sleeping…and he looked handsome. His expression was relaxed. He looked so different, there was no hint of his usual cocky smirk or snarky expression. It was replaced with peace. His un-cuddled arm was resting on his stomach.
It was the weekend, so neither of us needed to be up so early. He must have been tired after his match and then for having to watch me half of the night. You curiously inhaled him, his cologne wasn’t terribly strong, but it was there and it smelled good. Comforting even. You closed your eyes deciding to sleep in a little longer.
It felt like you just made that decision, when there was a knock at your door. You didn’t move until the person knocked again. You lightly shook Mattheo, in a small panic. “Mattheo..” you whispered.
He woke up, grumbled faintly in his half asleep state. He slowly and groggily opened his eyes, “whaaa..?” He slurred out, Mattheo lifted his free arm and rubbed his eyes. The knocking continued to be heard.
“Off my bed.” You say rolling over him, going to the door. You wouldn’t dare open it until Mattheo either got up or moved to his own bed.
He rolled his eyes, groaning in annoyance as you climbed over him to reach the door. He sat up and reluctantly stood from the bed, stretched his arms above his head, yawning. He walked to his bed and unceremoniously got into it, he laid on his stomach this time. Letting out a relaxed sigh, looking at the door.
You opened the door, it was Theodore, “Hii teddyy!” you say, “what can we help you with?” You rub your eye. You left the door to open wider so he could come inside if he wanted to. You moved to your desk, pulling out a hair brush. You were curious as to why there was music playing downstairs, when you glanced at the window. It was evening, that surprised you. How long did you really sleep for?!
Theo smiled at you, but his face twisted into a sly grin as he took in the scene in front of him. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. He was studying how you were just now brushing your hair out, and Mattheo was still in bed. “Sorry for walking in on both of your beauty sleeps.” He joked curiously. 
“No it’s fine, it was about time we woke up…” you blushed, thinking about what Theo's conclusion was coming to, “I think I would have slept the whole day through and through. It helps when that guy isn’t talking your ear off.” You gestured to Mattheo with the brush.
“Yeah, he doesn’t tend to be quiet at all.” Theo laughed, he looked at Mattheo, he was looking at you annoyed.  Theo went to sit on your bed, “Game night is starting downstairs, thought you guys might want to join. Maybe your whole day might not have gone to waste after all.” 
“Can I shower first?” You asked, gathering an outfit. 
“Of course, we’re still setting up waiting for more people to show.”
You exchanged a look with Mattheo, wordlessly acknowledging how we slept. It was a silent swear, to not ever mention it to anyone. We shared mutual friends, but we didn’t need them bugging  or teasing us about it. He just stared back, confirming his part to keep the secret. You headed into the bathroom.
Mattheo turned to look at Theo, who had a faint smirk on his face. “Don’t.” He simply said to him
Theo dropped his smirk, “I didn’t even say anything!” He laid on your bed, spreading out laughing.
Mattheo rolled his eyes, getting up to change, muttering “You didn’t have to say anything.”
“So nothing happened?” Theo hugged your pillow, kicking his feet mimicking a girl wanting to gossip. It got Mattheo to crack and laugh.
“No. Nothing happened, Nott.”
“Okay i’ll drop it.” Theo still gave him a side eye and a wink, “you still called her cute last night. Don’t forget that I heard you slip that out.”
Mattheo froze, going over to him on your bed. He grabbed theo’s ankle and dragged him onto the floor starting a play fight.
You finally got out of the shower, dressed in some comfortable oversized jeans but with a small top. You were finishing rubbing on a scented lotion on your arms. The two boys quickly got up off the ground, brushing themselves off. Mattheo couldn't help but stare at you, seeing your casual outfit and how pretty you looked. He pushed theo out of the way, also as an attempt to hide the blush that was creeping on his face. He was the first to walk out of your dorm room. Theo followed after him, with you last to shut the door.
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+*
Pansy was standing on a table balancing two jugs and another by her feet, she was in the middle of making an announcement.
Theodore watched her in awe, “please tell me she’s made something good this time around.” Mattheo agreed with him, he was starting to get excited and he needed a good drink to freshen up. 
“I will be pouring each of you a drink from a random jug I have concocted! Just to spice up tonight’s games. One is mixed with a teenie bit of truth serum,” There was a mumble in the small crowd, she continued with a sweet smile at the reaction, “the other is spiked with a love potion. And last but not least, a regular drink! You won't know which one i’ll give you, it’ll take a couple of minutes to kick in!” The commotion in the room started to peak as people lined up, Theodore shoved his way to the front, “me first!” 
You laughed, watching pansy pour drinks either in cups or directly in the participants mouths. When it was your turn she let you smell the jug, she smiled at you. Knowing that you were one of the best potions students there were, there wouldn’t be a chance to fool you. It was just the regular drink and you asked her to just pour you a cup so you can enjoy it slowly. 
You went to sit by Theodore, taking a sip. “Oh this is delicious…do you feel anything yet Teddy?” You looked over at where Mattheo was, he was in the front of the line having Pansy pour directly into his mouth. He gave her a wink before sitting down with us.
“I don't feel anything right now..”
“Yeah I have no clue as to what I got.” Mattheo chimed in.
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。゚
It was your turn for dare or dare (like truth or dare, but it got boring after everyone kept choosing truth, knowing the serum was helping some of them blurt out anything.)
Lorenzo had appointed himself to be the host of the game, choosing what everyone had to do. He was good at it, too good, until he dared you to go have seven minutes in heaven with Mattheo. It made the circle of people holler, knowing that you both were roommates that were just constantly annoyed with each other.
“Easy.” you said nonchalantly, just because you would be stuck in a closet together, doesn’t exactly mean you have to do anything. You both shared a dorm already and nothing happened. You stood up to head into the appointed closet. 
Mattheo shot Lorenzo a glare, he would have to get him back later. He slowly got up to follow you, he opened the door to the closet, “ladies first.”
You both got into the closet, it was a lot smaller than you expected. “Merlin… Mattheo..can you move a little bit more?” You thought that by having your back to him, it would be the best option but it wasn’t. Your ass was just pressed deeply into his lap, you could have swore you felt a twitch. 
He let out a huff, he wasn’t doing much better given how much larger his frame was compared to yours. Mattheo closed his eyes as he felt you grinding on him, trying to not let out any sounds, “Just…fucking..” He managed to flip you around so that you were straddling one of his legs. He breathed out, thinking it would provide him some relief but it only felt worse not having you pressed against him, “better?” He grumbled.
“Yeah better…” You couldn’t meet his eyes, “We can just stay like this…no one has to know we didn’t do anything… win win..” You whisper, laying your head on his chest. 
Mattheo tried to concentrate on what you were saying, but it was hard when you were straddling half of him. He was sure you could hear how fast his heart was beating. He cursed his body for giving this reaction. He swallowed, clearing his throat slightly, trying to remain composed, but still sounding a bit bit breathless. “Yeah that's a good idea.”
Your arms were already growing tired of having them pressed to the sides of the closet, so you decided to rest them on his chest. You gauged his reaction, “sorry, is this okay? I feel like i'm losing circulation.” You let out a small laugh.
You noticed how he hitched his breath, he tried to relax his muscles under your touch. He shrugged slightly at your question, “it’s fine. No big deal.” 
There was a thud on the door, and then someone must have gotten slapped, “shut up.” They giggled, someone must be pressing their ear to the door to try and listen to us.
Mattheo started to really feel annoyed, knowing someone was trying to eavesdrop on what was happening in the closet. He desperately wished he would make some room between you and him, but he know it wouldn’t solve his current problem he was facing.
“So uh..do you know what drink you ended up getting…it’s been a couple of minutes so the effects should be starting to show.”  You tippy toed to whisper in his ear, so the outside wouldn’t be able to hear.
He let out an exasperated gasp, feeling your warm breath against his neck. He wanted to press your body closer against his but he fought the thought, “Yeah..yeah i think i know what one i got.” His voice was slightly strained. He was trying with all his might to remain calm with you being so damn close to him.
You looked expectantly at him to finish his thought. He looked down at you as you looked up. His eyes slightly turned darker, “I got the love one.” he muttered, feeling himself lose his battle.
Your eyes widened, you knew the feeling of a love potion, or at least the ones Pansy made. It didn’t make you fall in love with anyone directly, but it just made you lust. It was like a burning sensation, the need to be touched. There would be no relief until…your needs were met in a..very specific way… to say the least. 
Mattheo could practically see the realization come over your face at his words. There was another thump against the door, followed with more giggles. He clenched his fists. 
“Is it hurting?” You pull back from him, knowing the contact you were making with him would be driving him crazy. “Maybe you can ask one of your many girls to help you..”
His body involuntarily protested at the distance you tried to make. He gave you a peeved look, not having a desire to ask any of them for this sort of help. He scoffed, his eyes burning into yours, “No. I don't want any of them.”
“Yadda yadda.. They come to you. You don’t go to them.” You waved him off, “It’s going to be a long night for you if you don’t do something…I can leave the dorm tonight to yourself. To leave…you to it? I could probably sleep over at pansy’s” You were the one now yapping out of nervousness.
Mattheo’s patience was starting to wear down as he was slowly being replaced by an overwhelming need to be touched by you, and only you. There was a ringing in his head. He shook his head in response, his voice slightly harsh as he spoke, “No. You shouldn’t have leave your own damn dorm.”
Your eyes snapped back to his when he gave you attitude…but also you kind of liked it in this context. You saw it as an opportunity to annoy him as payback for all the times he bothered you, “you don't want to touch yourself at least?” You whispered carefully into his ear so the person outside wouldn't hear, “I don’t exactly want to hear your grunts if I'm in the same room.” You laughed.
“I’m not fucking doing that.”
“Big bad tough Mattheo Riddle at it again huh? If you want to thug it out, then so be it.” I laughed again until he buckled his knee up my legs and into my core, rubbing against it. You yelped as you snapped to look at him, and he had the most smug look on his face.
There was a loud knocking on the door, “Times up.” It was Lorenzo, he opened the door quickly. You nearly jumped right out of there, rushing back to your seat next to Theo. “Man you guys are boring!! I was expecting some heat in there.”
Mattheo let out a sharp exhale when you got off of him, already missing the feeling. He pushed Enzo to the side, “Dickhead.” He tried to cool his body back down and act as normal as possible. He kept staring at you.
Enzo just shot his friend a look at how he was acting, he thought he was doing him a favor. He just shook his head and went back to the circle, motioning who was next to do and telling that person their dare.
You kept feeling mattheo glance at you, and it made you blush. You thought about how his knee was rubbing against you, and how good it had felt. When you thought about that, you needed to call it a night. “I had fun guys…i’ll see you in the morning. I’m going to head to bed. Night.” They said goodnight to you, continuing on with the game.
Once back in your dorm, you journaled for a bit. You couldn’t help but think again to Mattheo, you looked over at his bed and wondered if Mattheo would give up and give into sleeping over at a girl’s dorm.
Mattheo stayed downstairs for a while longer, trying to force himself to not feel what he did. After an hour, or so he couldn’t take it anymore and begrudgingly ford himself to get up from the couch and head upstairs to your shared dorm. He pushed opened the door to the room, looking towards your bed first thing to see if you were awake.
You looked up from your book. You had to admit you were impressed by his endurance, “Hey..”
His eyes widened faintly as he saw that you had still been awake, “hey y/n…” He replied keeping his eyes on you and he moved to his bed.
“How’s the potion’s effects?” You looked at the time, “It should be wearing down…is it?”
He plopped down onto the bed, holding his pillow close. Only to realize it was your pillow, the one you threw at his face yesterday. You hadn’t noticed it, thank Salazar. He was so desperate for you that he would just take this. “No. It hasn't.” He felt like it only got more powerful as it went on. He inhaled into your pillow, trying not to groan. It smelled just like your lotion, sweet and strong.
“Can you lock the door…” You motion.
His eyes shot up from the pillow excitedly, Mattheo didn’t bother to even get up to lock it her just quickly grabbed his wand from the nightstand and casted a locking charm to the handle. “Why’d you ask me to lock it?” He tried to calm himself down, looking over at you.
You shrug, “I don't want any drunk person to find refuge in here?” It was a good lie.
Mattheo wasn’t stupid, he knew that wasn’t the reasoning behind your request. But the fact that you didn’t want to admit it, intrigued him to the max. He played along with you.
“Fair enough.” He went back to hugging your pillow underneath him.
“Goodnight Mattheo.” You closed your book, setting it down and turning off the light. 
Mattheo tried to hide his disappointment, maybe he was reading into you wrong because he was just so damn horny, “night.” he watched the curved your body had in the darkness. Silently wishing so badly that you would ask him to join you in your bed again.
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+: ゜。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚
You actually tried to sleep, but you kept hearing Mattheo shift uncomfortably in his bed. It as starting to annoy you, you hated that you were starting to feel bad about how this potion was torturing him. The effects shouldn’t have lasted this long. You thought about how he did help you out when you had sleep paralysis. “Mattheo…” you whispered.
Mattheo shivered as he heard you whisper his name, he bit back a gasp. He fought with himself for a moment, his body already starting to crave you again even if it was just for a chat. “Y-Yeah?” He said back quietly, staring at your direction through the darkness of the room.
“Just ask me to help you already.”
He felt a rush of both shock and relief at your words. The words got caught in his throat, “Can..you help me?”
“Only because you helped me last night. So this way, are we even okay?” I huffed sitting up, tossing my blanket to the side, “don’t be so damn afraid to ask for some help.”
“I’m sorry…” It was all he could manage, he was so turned on by how you were taking initiative for him. He was a mess. And you both could clearly tell, “Please…just…please touch me please..” He buzzed with excitement at the thought of you touching him again.
You couldn’t help but be taken back by surprise, you never heard him beg. It wasn’t like him, but you enjoyed the sound of it. You went into his bed this time. But you started to get nervous yourself as you pressed your body against his. He instantly got closer to you, forcing you to get rid of your nerves. 
“Y/N…please..” Mattheo nearly cried out. You started to softly touch where you knew he needed it the most. He let out a small groan escape his lips. You looked at his face that was barely lit up by the moonlight, your own heart was racing. You never would have imagined yourself doing this to him. 
Mattheo’s cock kept twitching in your hand, his eyes were shut tightly. He was feeling his body immediately melt to your touch. Your touch felt better than anything to his over-sensitized body. He felt himself getting lost in it. “Oh..” He whispered under his breath. His body moving against your hand, a small thrust that told you to give him more.
“Wouldn’t it be kind of funny if I were to just stop?” You teased him, laughing lightly. You still kept going at the motion despite your words.
He let out a estranged and slightly annoyed laugh, “Don’t you fucking dare.” He silently hated the fact that you were going to choose to tease him now out of all times. 
“Don’t stop please.” He nearly cried out when he felt you let go of him, his eyes opened to look at yours to see what you were doing.
“I want you to watch me..” You whispered. You pulled his blanket down to the foot of the bed. He couldn’t help but smile at you, his irritation easing as he realized what you were doing to do. You moved to sit in between his legs. You slid down his pants to his thighs, his dick springing out to slap his belly button. You couldn't help but stare, he smirked at your look. He held it up for you to take in your hands. He let out a sigh, using his pillow to prop himself up to watch you. Your hands only made him look and feel bigger, giving him an ego boost. “Mattheo, I didn't know you were packing like this.” He let out a shaky laugh, bucking his hips. 
You moved one of your hands to rub his tip, that simple motion already earned you a whimper. There was no need to spit on it, his precum was already all over himself. You gently started to stroke him, slowly. Enjoying how you were making him feel. You wanted to admire his cock, but you also wanted to see Mattheo’s expressions.
“Ah, shit. That feels good, darling.” 
You began to twist your hand over his tip, bringing his precum down more. His dick was glistening just by himself. You began to notice how you were salivating, you wanted to taste him, you were curious as to how much you would be able to fit in his mouth. You saw it as a fun challenge, it had been such a long time since you had dick yourself. It only turned you on more knowing it was your own roommate, Mattheo. 
“C’mere.” Mattheo beaconed, leaning over to grab the back of your neck. Pulling you in so he could kiss you. He was so needy he wanted more of you. He was starting to imagine how pretty your lips would look around his cock. He bit at your lip and you cried out. It had hurt and you knew it drew blood, but neither of you cared to check up on it, you still kept kissing each other. You continued to play with him and he was moaning into your mouth.
“Keep going. Keep going.” He held your face, “fuck youre so pretty. I’m going to mark you up good.” He pushed your face to the side, attacking your jawline. Licking at it before going down your neck. He sucked on it harshly, making sure to leave deep purple marks that would take weeks to fade. You didn’t dare stop him. It felt too good.
“Mattheo..” You breathed out. Your breaths were really starting to get shallow, you felt your panties getting wet. 
Mattheo lifted up your cropped shirt, so that your breasts were exposed to him, “not wearing a bra? Perfect.” He growled caressing your breasts, licking at your nipple. He tugged on one with his teeth while he squeezed the other. You were beginning to get too focused on his actions, and he felt you stop stroking him. He pinched your nipple, “keep stroking. I didn’t tell you to stop.” How was he being so needy yet dominating at the same time. You continued playing with him, twisting your arm. He grabbed your jaw, “say you’re sorry.” 
“I’m sorry mattheo…” You let out. 
“Sorry for what?” he kissed you briefly, pulling back for you to answer him.
“Sorry for getting distracted.”
“Good girl, now suck it.” He looked pleased with your words, he gently pushed you down. You did not protest the choice one bit. You laid on your stomach in between his legs once more. You pumped him a couple more times before pulling it into your mouth. 
It took everything in Mattheo’s will power to not buck his hips into your mouth, he wanted to fuck that pretty mouth of yours. But he refrained, he wanted to see how you would please him.
You immediately tasted his precum, it was still continuously leaking from his tip. It was intoxicating, it tasted amazing. It made you smile, you looked up at him from underneath your lashes. He was staring intently on you, biting his own lip at your sight, “stick your ass up for me, princess.” You did as you were told, “so beautiful.”
You took his dick out of your mouth, and he whined at the action. But you ignored it, you went to kiss his shaft, licking the veins that were there. You went further down to take both his balls in your mouth, still using one hand to twist his dick. This sent him into a frenzy of curses.
“Shit - ah - fuck. Goddammit. Y/N…shit fuck who ever taught you to do this.” He threw his head back laughing, but also there was irritation in his voice “no forreal im going to - ah - kick whoevers ass taught you this.”
You just rolled your eyes, continuing with your actions. You went back to suck on his dick, you tried your best to deep throat his whole dick but it was impossible. You had to stroke whatever wouldn't fit in your mouth. You kept gagging, spit running down your chin. “I love that sound.” he breathed out, his fingers finding their way to the back of your hair, he tried pushing himself further into you. You kicked your feet, needing to breathe. He pulled out for a quick second seeing your reaction, he looked sorry for a split second, but he quickly regained himself and shoved his dick back in your mouth. 
You noticed how his breathing began to get labored, and his buckling was out of rhythm. You closed your eyes to concentrate, holding onto his thighs. When you felt his hot seed fill your mouth. There was so much of it, “shit Y/N..i’m sos s so srorry.” he moaned out you couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not, “I didn’t mean to cum just yet. I-I didn’t mean to just cum in your mouth without warning.” 
You pulled back, with your hand under your chin, catching anything you weren’t able to swallow, “Matty it’s okay really. No big deal.” You slurped up the rest of the cum that was on your hand. Mattheo widened his eyes at your action. He slowly sat up, he let out a shaky exhale. His mind was still clouded with arousal.
You got off of him, heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth. He felt kind of guilty, having a bit of post nut clarity. He started to blush.
“Are you feeling better?” you came back out with a wet wipe, handing it over to him. 
“Y-yeah. I feel a lot…better now..” He rubbed the back of his neck, cleaning himself and pulling his pants back up, “thank you..it means a lot…”
“I’m glad.” You crawled back into your own bed, trying to catch your breath. You were a bit shaken from the events. You couldn’t help your own blush. You thought back to how big he was.. and how he tasted..how he sounded… how he was kissing you. You rubbed at where the hickies would start to form. You pulled the blanket higher, you needed some relief…and you knew you could do it quietly.
Mattheo watched you, his breathing slowly returning back to normal as he spoke up, “Hey…can I ask you something?”
“Yeah what’s up?” You turn to him, your heart speeding up again.
He paused for a moment, silently gathering his confidence as he swallowed the growing lump in his throat, he took a shaky breath before speaking again. A hint of hesitation in his voice, “...Can you..come back to my bed?”
“I-I thought you were feeling better?” You blushed thinking he wanted more.
He let out a slightly frustrated sigh, “Ah yeah um.. I am feeling better… but I don’t want you to think I only wanted this because of that stupid drink.”
“Okay..sure..” you got out of your bed once more, and made your way over to his. 
Mattheo felt an instant wave of relief wash over his body as you returned back to him. He lifted the blanket back up to cover the both of you. You were both laying on your backs, staring at the ceiling. It was quiet apart from both your breathing. His mind was clouded with all kinds of thoughts.
“Can I ask you a question now?” You broke the silence, you only turned your head to him.
His eyes instantly flicked over to yours as you spoke, “Go ahead.”
“Did you expect me to help you?” I paused to clarify, “I mean…I know you don’t like doing to girls, they go to you blah blah…but why didn’t you want to ask me for help?”
“I..I didn’t want to come off as desperate, I guess? It’s usually the girls who are begging me for things…not the other way around.” He laughed.
“I guess I don’t apply to being those girls?”
He felt a pang of something in his chest at those words, he let out a sigh, “It’s not like that…you’re different.” 
You couldn't help but roll your eyes, “I guess. Yeah, I'm your roommate of seven years.”
“Yes, I'm fully aware of that fact. But that’s not what I meant.” He hated how this was taking a turn.
“What do you mean then, Riddle.” You scoff and turn your back to him, really? after what you just did with him. “I got the impression that I was never more than just your annoying roommate..until recently.”
His stomach was starting to tie up in knots, “I…I’ve always always thought of you as more than an annoying roommate…You just wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
He felt nervous, he pulled you closer to him so he could spoon you. He tightened his grip on your waist so you wouldn’t be able to leave at what he was about to confess, “..promise you won’t get mad at me when I tell you?”
“Matty…just spit it out. We don’t have much time left in the year.”you blushed, thinking how things could have been completely different. 
“Truth is. I’ve been kind of in love with you ever since third year.” It came out in a whisper, but his mouth was right next to your ear. It made you shiver. “I didn’t want to make it any more than what it was because -”
“- because if things didn’t go well… that’s still four years being stuck with each other?”
“Yes and no..I didn’t make a move on it because I thought you hated me for what my father did to your parents…. And I was scared of rejection for that.”
You own mind was going to a million different places at once. 
Mattheo started to get nervous at your silence, “did you ever have feelings for me..?” He said this, tracing circles around your skin.
“Yes.” You paused, “It’s hard not to be in love with you.” He hadn’t said anything back to that, “So what do we do with this information now?” 
In reality Mattheo was just dumbfounded that he wasted so much time and effort on other people, when you had actually reciprocated his feelings. He felt his heart swell, “well first and most importantly, I want you as mine.” He paused his voice taking a softer side, he reached down in between your pants to play with the edge of your panties, “...not just mine for the night. I want you to myself…no more other partners for either of us.”
You held your breath at his action and words, “easy. Next?”
He let out a small hum thinking. Mattheo moved his hand further down, and you opened your legs a bit. He smiled into your neck at this action, he felt how wet you were. He felt bad for keeping you waiting, going through a rollercoaster of emotions. “Secondly…I want to kiss you again, properly this time… and I mean without having to come up with an excuse to do it.”
“You never really needed an excuse…you just had to do it.” You smiled turning your head to him, your breathing picking up pace as you felt his fingers start to explore your pussy. 
“Is that so?” He questioned with a teasing smirk, his lips now only inches away from yours.
“Must I always be the first to make the move?” You asked but also you just crashed your lips to his, maybe a little too eager…but you were being patient for a little too long for your own liking.
Mattheo let out a soft gasp of surprise, he instantly returned the kiss. He started to rub your clit from behind with a new found purpose. You slipped off your pants so you could open your legs wider for him, your own desperation growing.
“You’re so wet for me…you got this way just by pleasing me?”  
“Yes Mattheo.” it was all you can manage to say, you were embarrassed by how fast you were going to cum yourself. The tension build up probably helped with that. With the arm that was under you, he moved it so that one was playing with your clit. The other switched so he could finger you from behind. He at first only slipped one finger inside, “it’s so warm in here.” He wiggled it teasing you. You were starting to shake, moaning his name out. You felt his cock twitch behind you again, you couldn’t believe he was already able to get hard again after cuming just less than half an hour ago.
Mattheo went to kiss your shoulders again, you were starting to get overwhelmed with all the sensations you were feeling. There was too much to focus on, Mattheo felt your pussy clench around his single digit, it only encouraged him knowing you were feeling amazing. He pulled out his finger, “open up, taste yourself sweetheart.” You sucked on his finger, and he dipped the same finger back into your core, pulling it out. Making you whine but this time he stuck it into his own mouth. It made you blush, “mmm” Without a proper warning you Mattheo felt a slip in two fingers this time. He curled them feeling your gummy walls. He was relentless with his pace, making you unravel in minutes. You gripped his wrist for him to stop with his movements, silently begging for mercy.
Your pussy was pulsating around his fingers repeatedly, this got him excited, “that’s going to feel amazing on my cock.” As you recovered from your high, he pulled his pants off once more. He pulled you so that you were straddling his lap, hovering over his dick. “You think you can take it, Y/N?”
You nodded, “I’m gonna take it, Matty.” You swatted his hand away from it, he let go letting it lay flat on his stomach. He loved how determined you were being. You rubbed your pussy over it, he sucked in his breath at the feeling. You were using your own cum as lube. You were picking up your pace when Mattheo’s hands gripped at your hips, digging harshly, “enough. let me inside you already.” Once again you were hovering over his lap, he held you up by your ass for assistance. You let just his tip slip inside and he groaned, “please please please, c’mon give me that pretty little pussy.” With that you sat straight on it. Not letting yourself adjust, this caused both you and mattheo to moan. You kind of regretted it, it hurt.
He laughed, his dick twitching side of you, “baby why would you do that?”
“I don't know…” You bit his shoulder, shaking your head, you moved your hips up to redo that. But Mattheo pushed you back down, you cried out in pain, “Mattheo!”
He winced as you bit him again, “what! You came down on me like that, so now I'm going to force you to take it. My dick is not going to take another second of not being buried inside you. I promise to go slow.” He kissed your forehead, you trusted him. He didn’t move you for another couple of seconds, but he did play with your clit again in the meantime. That did help you relax and he started to move slowly, especially with your guidance as to what was too much for you. With teamwork, you were both able to turn your pain into pleasure. Mattheo shook his head, “don’t do that again, princess. You were much too eager. But I love that.”
He started to move faster, fucking your sopping wet core. You leaned back, propping yourself with your hands on his thighs. He loved seeing your pussy take him in, “i’m going to rearrange your insides.” You slapped your hand over your mouth. “No no no, i want to hear you.” he reached over to pull you onto him. He grabbed both your hands, holding them behind your back as he bucked into you. You moaned directly into his ear, making him go faster. You were reaching your second high and he knew it. He pushed you up, stopping. “Matty -- why !?” 
“Ride me. Work for your orgasm.” He put his hands behind his head, watching you intently as you worked yourself up again, using his dick to feel good. He loved watching you, you looked so beautiful to him, watching your tits bounce. How you closed your eyes in pleasure, how you bit your lip. He loved looking at the marks he was leaving on you. Others would notice and see he has claimed you. 
“Mattheo..Matt-..Mattheo i'm going to come around you.” He huffed, he knew you weren’t lying he could feel you clench around his dick this time instead of his fingers. He helped you reach your high as he noticed you started to lose your pace. He put one hand behind your lower back, the other pushing on your lower belly, making you feel extra full. “Oh my goood” this made you roll your eyes. 
“Good girl, come for me. I'm so proud of you.” you fell on top of him, shaking. This shaking made him reach his own high, “shit Y/N. on your knees now. Fuck i-” 
Despite how fucked out you were, you were to able to move to the ground, you stuck your tongue out for him, he stood up and stroked his cock on your tongue. He gripped on your hair, releasing his hot cum. There was still so much of it, some landed directly in your mouth and the rest on your face. “Ah fuck that was amazing, darling.” You swallowed once you thought he was totally empty. He held out a hand for you to take, you took it to stand up but your legs were shaking too much. Mattheo laughed lightly at the sight. So he picked you up and brought you to the bathroom. He began running the shower, “May I have this shower with my girlfriend?” You could only smile and nod, your brain was still trying to catch up.
It was safe to say you both only ended up sharing one bed for the rest of the year. The other remained untouched.
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songmingisthighs · 3 hours
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Oddeleny
introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii
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ch. xx - plan z
ghost!yeosang × reader
wc: 1.4 k
genre : ghost!au
rating, warning : mature; crude jokes and filthy language, mentions of attempted murder, depiction of trauma (described) fear, hitting
buy me coffee ?
a connection once had, broken with the expectation that the ending is final. but life has an odd proclivity of making attachments from detachments. in the end, we don't know what we lost until we look at what we have
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You could hear your heart pounding in your ears and the vibration was so prominent that you were sure that it was beating right against your skin.
You were never a fan of hospitals what with the two most traumatic experiences of your life happened at the hospital. The first one was when your grandfather was officially pronounced dead and your parents blamed you for your 'negligence'. You were a child, you thought your grandpa was napping, it was just a freak situation that had your parents been there too, they wouldn't have been able to foresee or avoid. The second one was when your parents dragged you by the collar of your uniform (literally) to apologize to Yeosang for almost killing him and seeing Yeosang avoiding your gaze, not even acknowledging you nor the fact that your father had you bowing to the floor so harshly that there was a bruise on your forehead. Not even your sobs and your apology which ultimately became the ammo they wield in their weapon to get you thrown out of school because it was a "confession". Coercion was never questioned and the fact that no one was backing you up because you were an outcast didn't help.
So now, back in the hospital with an unconscious Yeosang in front of you started stirring some anxiety back. You hesitated to make a move because Yeosang's unchanging look made you think that something bad was going to happen. As ridiculous as it was, you did think that your parents would suddenly barge in and throw you to the floor and force you to beg for forgiveness again.
"What are you doing?"
The voice from your phone almost gave you a heart attack but thankfully you recovered immediately. "What the hell is wrong with you?" you hissed as you brought your phone to your face and glared at Yeosang who was on the screen, "What did I tell you about suddenly showing your face like this? I almost shat myself you asshole." Yeosang cringed and shook his head, "Yeah, that's not something I need to know. Why are you just standing there?" you look between your screen and the body lying on the bed a couple of times before answering, "This is a lot freaky for me, okay? To be honest, until 2 minutes ago, I still believed that you were not in a coma and were just pranking me to extort something out of me." Thankfully, Yeosang was understanding to your predicament, only nodding and letting you take steps forward at your own pace until you stood next to his physical body.
"Okay, so how are we doing this?" you asked, "Do I just... Plug you in?" you looked around to see if there was any way you could... Transfer? Him? "Do you think this is like a data transfer?" he asked, unsure as well. "I don't know what this is like, it's not like your soul came with an instruction," you deadpanned and he rolled his eyes, "I'm equally stumped so let's not be snarky," you couldn't help but mock him because while he had a point, it was annoying.
Without thinking, you tried a bunch of stuff from putting the phone in his hand to pressing the phone on his forehead, both the front and back. This made Yeosang sigh loudly, "Do you think I'm Bluetooth transferable or NFT readable or something?" he sounded exasperated you couldn't blame him because his body was just there and he was so close to returning but you were trying your best. "Hey, at least I'm trying here. I'm risking A LOT to be here and it's not like you're giving out ideas on what to do!" you exclaimed angrily. Yeosang opened his mouth to answer but you held a hand up, "No, you listen to me first. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my own heart and you're just pressuring me to try and try and try and I am trying and I'm so pissed at you for only bitching and not doing anything to help either of us in this situation!" "I would help if I could but my movements and reach are VERY restricted! I'm scared, okay? I can see the way I'm just right there and it looks like I'm just sleeping but I'm not! My soul is stuck in a tin can like sardines!" he fought back.
Although you wanted to respond, something he said struck you and an idea popped up.
You slapped Yeosang's physical body and the Yeosang that was in your monitor reeled from the impact.
"Hey!" he exclaimed and he was about to angrily tell you off when he realized that he felt something. "Oh my God, what did you do?" he asked, now amazed. So you tried again, this time slapping him from the other side and he responded accordingly, reeling to the other side.
"Can you feel that?" you asked, amazed at the reaction. When Yeosang nodded, you hit him again and this time his physical body stirred at the same time your screen started glitching. "Yes!" you exclaimed loudly.
Your phone became even more glitchy despite you not hitting Yeosang's physical body but for a moment, you truly believed that he was about to wake up. "One more! (y/n), one more!" Yeosang's voice boomed from your phone and despite the cracking and delay, you could hear what he said.
So you did as told.
Hoping that this was it, you slapped Yeosang's physical body again and this time, you saw his eyes fluttered open slowly.
For the first time in almost one and a half decades, you were looking into the eyes of someone who you used to care for a lot. You had once thought that seeing Yeosang again would be painful, that you would hate it and that you would probably want to run away from it. But no, all you felt was glad and you couldn't help but crack a smile the same time Yeosang almost too.
But, your feeling was right.
All of a sudden, the door barged open and you were suddenly yanked back while someone, in a flash, headed over to Yeosang's side to reach over to the buttons above his head and pressed something that made an alarm ring. You looked up to see a face that cursed you at your last meeting and in fear, you turned to look at Yeosang. Your heart sank when you saw that his eyes were back to being closed as if he hadn't just opened his eyes merely seconds ago.
The chaos that erupted caused your ears to ring because all you could think about was how you came so close to getting Yeosang back only for it to fail so miserably.
You didn't even know what happened until you were grabbed by the shoulders and shook violently.
"Was the first attempt not enough for you?"
It was confusing. It took a moment for you to focus but when you did you were met with the face of the other person who cursed you at your last meeting.
Yeosang's mom was hitting you as his dad handed you over to a nurse who immediately escorted you out.
"I- I was-" you tried defending yourself but his mom kept following and hitting you, "I saw you! I saw you hit him! You wanted to kill him because you failed last time, you wretched girl! How can you live with yourself? How can you do this to someone innocent?"She cried, screamed, really which then became an announcement to the whole VIP coma ward, allowing people who were in the hallway to stare and whisper while the people in the other rooms who got curious stepped out to see the commotion.
Noises mingling together between Yeosang's mom's screams of hurtful accusation at you, his dad who was trying to get her to go see if their son was okay, Yunho and Jongho who did their to shield you from the impact while telling Yeosang's mom to back off, and Hongjoong who clawed the nurse off of you so he could cover you instead.
Your head was buzzing and there were pins and needles prickling your fingertips. So you closed your eyes and let your friends take you away, you let them lead you to wherever you needed to go because, at that moment, you were not the you that had grown. At that moment, you were the 12-year-old middle school student who got accused of attempted murder.
And it was terrifying.
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ikamigami · 5 hours
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THE CYCLE OF TRAUMA
In this post I'll try to explain how Sun is trapped in a cycle of trauma and I'll try to answer the question whether he can escape it or not and how he can escape it if it's possible.
I think that I know the answer to why Sun is often pushed aside and doesn't even feel like MC in Sun and Moon Show sometimes.. it's because the show is telling two stories.
One story is the one that we see. The one which follows mostly what happens with Moon because Moon does more things than Sun. Sun is doing his own things in the background. Or he's a gag character in most of funny lore episodes. This story is the surface level of watching it and seeing the obvious parallels between events.
It's not a bad way to engage with the show but it's more like watching MCU - easy story to follow with foreshadowing, payoffs and parallels.
But there's also a second story.. a story hidden in details and subtle hints and lines which are echoes of the past events.. and the main character of this story is Sun who is a traumatised victim of abuse.
This is more deep reading of events in the show - we could say it's meta interpretation of it.
I'm not going to lie to you that I found it weird and a bit repulsive how awfully Sun is treated as a victim of abuse.. because his trauma was never addressed properly - Sun could never talk openly about what happened to him and no one even helped him with that.. sometimes they didn't even want to listen to him..
I didn't want to accept that Sun healed off-screen or just even got better off-screen because of how much he went through and things like that just don't magically disappear.. all this trauma couldn't just disappear.. especially if Sun never had a break. His life is traumatising event after traumatising event after traumatising event..
"Stop! How can you say that Sun didn't have a break when he literally did while Solar and Moon took care of everything?" you're probably asking this right now. And my answer is: yes, you're right, Sun literally had a break. Literally - a surface level of watching show.. a story that we see..? You probably don't know what I'm trying to say. But this is exactly why I'm making this post.
Today's episode helped me realize that what's happening right now is just another face of Sun's trauma.
Moon is not only acting similarly to Old Moon but he even tried to guilt-trip Sun and he minimized his trauma by mocking it which was the exact same thing Old Moon was doing during their fights.
Moon even said that only after two years Sun was able to grow a spine to stand up to Moon.. doesn't it sound familiar?
Old Moon said during one of their fights that Sun shouldn't apologize for yelling at him because he shouldn't apologize for having a spine.. hmm.. it's obvious parallel yet it's a reverse one.
Old Moon was trying to make Sun stand up for himself in abusive way.
Now Moon is trying to squash Sun's confidence by laughing at Sun's efforts of trying to stand up for himself which essentially mocks Sun's trauma.
And later when I was watching mgafs episode it dawned on me. Sun went to Monty for help when Moon is dangerous.. doesn't it sound familiar?
The last time Sun went to Monty for help was when kill code reactivated in Old Moon.. but before that Sun went to Monty for help when Lunar was pretending to be Old Moon and they couldn't switch places.
But who told Sun to go to Monty for help if situation with Moon would be too much to handle for Sun? Old Moon.
It seems that Old Moon's words still have an impact on Sun.
But there's more.. Sun locked Moon in a cell just like Old Moon did to him a year ago. Sun decided to use shocks to keep Moon from doing something stupid and harming himself.
It really seems that Sun was influenced by Old Moon's actions.
But also the only helpful thing that Sun knows is talking to Earth because Earth was the one who helped him back then.. so if Earth's words didn't help Moon what else can?
Old Moon never listened to Sun and now Moon also doesn't listen to him. So what left?
He went to Monty for help but it turned out that Monty can't help. Monty's words don't work anymore with Moon like they used to with Old Moon. Monty and Foxy's only solution is to forcefully snap Moon out of it by endangering Sun at expense of Bloodmoon's life cause who cares about Bloodmoon..
So the only answer is violence. But if you think about it Sun's life is filled with violence to the brim. Old Moon used to solve their every problem with violence. New Moon also tried to solve their every problem by killing whoever he deemed an enemy.
Sun tried to talk with Eclipse but it didn't work. The only thing that left was to expell him from his head which was a death of OG Eclipse.
He tried to warn Bloodmoon. It didn't work and he killed them in self-defence.
He tried to listen to V2 Eclipse (Eclipse with the star) but Eclipse could only threaten them and told them to kill Lunar. So the only thing that left was to push Eclipse through the portal and Moon killed him.
He tried to talk to New Bloodmoon but it didn't work either and the only thing that left once again was violence.
He convinced Moon to help Ruin which turned out to be Solar's and trillions of others' lives doom. So what left? They had to lock Ruin but it created more problems - Molten trying to kill him and now Ruin is once again working with Bloodmoon and we can only imagine that they're up to no good. So they'd most definitely have to use violence.
Sun tried to resolve things differently. He tried to help. But none of this worked. His help only made things worse. And everyone's answer seem to be only violence.. violence violence violence violence violence violence violence..
So it's not surprising at all that Sun is doing what Old Moon taught him. Even if it isn't what Sun wants. And the worse thing is that now others are trying to force him to make a decision that will have an impact on everything. It'll either work and things will get better or it won't and everything will get worse.
You may say that Sun has Earth and Lunar as a support. But while it is true that he still has them they already expressed that they don't want to help. And let's be honest, neither Earth nor Lunar did much to help Sun with his trauma. They aknowledged it but that's it. Lunar never talked about it with Sun. And the only thing Earth did was apologizing to Sun for making him sad by mentioning Old Moon's death because she knows how hard it is for him.
But it isn't what Sun needs. He needs help. You may say "why he doesn't talk to them about his trauma?" The thing is he tried. But when he needed help the most - after Old Moon's death - they told him to move on or Moon straight up yelled at him for just simply mentioning Old Moon.
So it's not surprising that Sun doesn't try to open up about it anymore. Because he learned that it's better not to do that. And that's why he thinks that his issues are less important than others' problems. Because no one cared to help him. But because Sun knows that they love him so there's only one reason why they didn't help him. And this reason is that his issues aren't that much of a big deal. Why should he bother others with his issues when others don't seem to care that much? They probably don't care that much because these issues aren't real problems.. I bet that this is what Sun thinks about that.
Let's get back to the main topic of this post. Sun is trapped in a cycle of trauma. From the beginning of his existence the only thing he knows is trauma. First with Old Moon who abused him physically, mentally and emotionally. Later Old Moon promised to change yet he left Eclipse in Sun's head which created another trauma for Sun and Old Moon didn't stop being abusive. Later when they thought that they defeated Eclipse another problem appeared - Bloodmoon. But it wasn't enough because it turned out that there's new Eclipse who activated Old Moon's kill code reopening Sun's trauma.
Eventually Sun's already poor mental state worsened even more and he experienced psychotic episode. And what others did at that time? They abandoned Sun and because he was too detached from reality he wasn't able to stop himself. And in such state he did things that he regrets. But even if he regrets them he can't do anything about it. He has to live with consequences of his actions even if he wasn't at fault for neither Old Moon's nor Lunar's death. But it only deepened his trauma.
At that point Sun thought that the only solution is to die hoping for fresh start like Moon had. Hence why he decided to be conduit for star's power and tried to sacrifice himself. Thankfully he survived and Eclipse was gone. Things seemed to get better. Unfortunately Sun's family didn't help him with his trauma at that time. Even if it was the best time to adress his issues considering that he was still suicidal back then.
Though Ruin already was a threat. After all he kidnapped Sun and the way Moon dealt with it wasn't the best - reminding Sun of his trauma once again. Yet back then Ruin's threat seemed so distant. Until he decided to bring Bloodmoon back. And also Solar's appearing disrupted dynamics in the family regardless of this being unintentional. Then Ruin blew up the Daycare and Sun and Moon were sent to Ruin's dimension.
And even if later things seemed to get better once again it wasn't long before Bloodmoon completely mauled Earth's body and they had to deal with them and also Stitchwraith threatened that if they'll try to interfere he will do worse things then simply kidnapping Earth.
At that time Sun seemed very distanced from everyone. He had serious memory issues and he wasn't answering any messages and calls. It didn't seem good.
And then Eclipse returned once again. And we all of a sudden found out that Sun was feeling great until Eclipse's return.. it doesn't add up.
And later Sun decided to leave everything to Moon and Solar to deal with while he was spending time alone in their house, drinking wine and relaxing with his cats.. and he seemingly got better. He just needed a break.
It doesn't make much sense when you consider everything Sun went through. Yes, on surface level Sun seems to be doing much better and break helped him.. but is it actually true?
If we look at it deeper through lense of a story of very traumatised victim of abuse.. it seems that this was Sun's another attempt at breaking the cycle of trauma. The first attempt was sacrificing himself. Second was to try and avoid getting engaged with anything. After all when he tried to help everything got worse. So he naturally tried to do the opposite.. which turned out even worse.
Solar died because of Ruin's plan and he wouldn't be able to do it if it wasn't for Sun convincing Moon to help him. Moon is now losing his mind because of Solar's death and like Sun said he wishes that he said more to Moon when he had mental breakdown. And now Moon is acting worse than Old Moon and Sun is basically reliving his trauma. Sun is trying his best to keep his family together but is he actually able to do that?
You may think that he is.. but when you consider Sun's mental state - depressive psychosis and delusions centered around guilt and unworthiness making Sun feel like he's the one who is bad.. it doesn't seem likely.
You can disagree with me but there's plenty of evidence that support my claim. Also Moon told Sun that he has a little bit of Eclipse in him still.. and not so long ago Eclipse told Sun that he would make a good Eclipse when this is exactly what Sun was afraid of a year ago. And Lunar back then told him that he's acting exactly like Eclipse.
I'm pretty sure that it's affecting Sun. As much as he tries to say otherwise. That Moon's words doesn't have any impact on him anymore. It's not true. After all, we can still see how much Old Moon's words affected him.
Having all of this in mind, I wouldn't be surprised if Sun ended up blaming himself for what happened. Also considering that things will get worse soon. After all, Taurus is after Lunar and he'll either execute them immediately or put them to test.. which probably won't be anything nice. And Earth is hiding that she's friends with Eclipse and she trusts him more than her family because she tells Eclipse things that she wouldn't say to them. And who knows what Ruin and BM will do. And lastly.. Sun will find out soon that Dazzle is victim of July 16th incident. It doesn't look too good for him.
Even if Sun keeps going for his family. Will he be able to take more of this?
I don't think so. Because why then showrunners didn't let things to get better even if a bit? Why everything seems to get worse?
But is there a way for Sun to escape the cycle of trauma? He tried to sacrifice himself which even if it'd ended with him being dead he still would do something good, right? He'd protect his family. He tried to distance himself from everything to not make things worse with his help. But it ended up making everything even worse. So is there any option left for Sun to break the cycle?
Yes, the help of others. Unfortunately it doesn't seem likely. Even now when Sun is clearly suffering he still chose not to talk about his own feelings but focused on Moon. Even when he's hurting so much that Monty and Foxy found Sun crouching outside Monty's house. Yet he didn't say anything. And what they did to help him? They told him that he needs to make a decision that he isn't capable to make in the state he is right now.
But what about Earth and Lunar? Like I said Lunar will have a much more concerning problem soon enough. And when Sun will find out about Earth's secret.. I doubt he'll trust her to talk about his own issues. You may say that he can change his mind about Eclipse. Maybe normally he could but not now. Not when he's reliving his trauma and his mental state is threatening to worsen. Sun isn't in any condition to deal with his own issues with Eclipse unless Eclipse will surprisingly not insult Sun and will be able to convince him that he wants to help. But Sun isn't in the right state of mind to deal with it, to rethink everything between the two of them and try to forget about trauma Eclipse caused him and his family.
And when Sun will learn the truth about Dazzle.. I wouldn't be surprised if it'll be a final straw for him.
So what else left? How can break the cycle? The answer is he can't. He could with a help of his family but it really seems not to be an option.
Though there's one thing that will stop the cycle of trauma once and for all. And it's death. You may say that Sun already tried to do that. Yes but also no. Back then Sun thought that he'll be lucky if he get reset and if not he'll at least sacrifice himself to protect his family.
But what about now? There's a plan to put Sun in dangerous situation that will cause Sun harm in order to snap Moon out of the state he's in. But if it won't work Moon will kill Bloodmoon and then I doubt that he'll stop at that. And then what?
This plan is messed up because no one can be sure if it'll work and there are very high chances that Moon's mental state will worsen either way. I bet that Sun will try to help no matter what.
Edit: I forgot to mention that Foxy wanted Sun to decide when he'll say enough is enough and he let them kill Moon which isn't an option for Sun - imagine keep going with this in mind that the life of your brother depends on your decision.
But when things will get worse will he be able to keep going? After all he wasn't able to help anyone, to stop anyone, to comfort anyone.. he tried everything yet things only got worse. And because of Sun's mental issues I'm pretty sure that he'll blame himself for everything. So even if Sun will still have Earth and Lunar (maybe).. can he be sure that his decisions won't end up harming the rest of his family?
I wouldn't be surprised if Sun will consider taking his own life as an answer to how stop this madness. If he thinks that all of this is his fault and he even expressed that himself that he was wondering if it'd be better if Moon and him never separated.. and even if Sun went to dimension where they separated but Eclipse never happened and they seem to have happy lives. That Moon didn't help Sun that much and even if he said that deep down Moon still cares.. now Sun learned that it isn't true. Sun can't handle this anymore.
Sun's mental state seems to be not good but considering what is about to happen it'll only get worse. I doubt that Sun will be able to think it through and stop himself from doing it while everything around him is collapsing and he thinks that it's all because of him..
I won't say that he'll succeed because there's high chance that someone will stop him or even if he'll attempt it he may end up heavily injured or in a coma and not dead dead.
But seeing how showrunners keep making things harder and worse for Sun and knowing that Davis wanted to include topic of suicide but previously received backlash for that though it seems that the issue either got resolved or they decided to implement it anyway it seems highly likely that Sun may try to kill himself.
I'm not saying that he'll do that but this is just my hypothesis based on the analysis of events in the show and meta analysis of Sun's character and that his character represents a story of traumatised victim of abuse. I'd rather have them addressing it even if it'd mean that Sun will attempt suicide then them completely ignoring it showing viewers that "screw victims of abuse".
We may argue about whether VAs are doing good job with portraying this things in the show but I don't want to immediately say that there's no hope and that they just don't care about the fact that they made Sun to be a victim of abuse.
I'm trying to be positive about this and I hope that Sun's trauma eventually will be addressed. I'm trying to trust the process. Maybe I'm a fool for doing so but whatever. I don't care about it.
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lovebittenbyevans · 2 days
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Rumors & The Truth
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Summary: When Toji put out a statement about you and him, he realized things were about to really change for him personally.
Pairing: F1driver! Toji Fushiguro x friend! Female Reader
Warnings: cursed words, social media au
Author note: I appreciate people who left a comment on this series. Continue AU series Life In The Spotlight. Follow along Mystery Girl. This will be Toji pov and get a glimpse of what he’s feeling in a way. A little bit of reader pov as well. Enjoy reading!
– Comments, Reblogs and Likes are appreciated
Toji knew this would come out sooner or later. He knows everything is brought to the surface eventually. He just wanted to keep this side of you and him hidden way longer.
In his head he is panicking and pissed off at the same time. His publicist Ryan warns him about the paparazzi having a way of making things public and a way of not keeping quiet forever.
He tried calling you a few times but you didn’t pick up. He wanted to do the right thing even though he didn’t want to confirm anything. Toji and you were just friends who like each other company but sometimes fuck each other as well.
“What’s the plan?” Ryan asked, sitting at his desk.
Toji fixed his race suit while adjusting it a little. “You tell me.” He mocked him. “I am not going to put out a bullshit statement when you know I see Y/N only as a friend.”
Ryan sighs as he scratches the back of his neck. “Just be honest. I would never tell you to lie.” Toji pulled out the chair and sat down. “You do know her life is about to change right?” Ryan wanted to make sure that Toji knows what is about to happen.
He continues. “The amount of time the press sees you with different girls every week is different from you and y/n.”
Toji nods. “Mhm.” A part of him was hoping this day would never come. His whole career was about his new talk about him with you.
He leaned back in the chair when he heard his phone buzzing on Ryan's desk. He immediately picked up his phone and saw your name on the screen.
Thank fucking god
He pressed the green button to answer and put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Is it an emergency?” You spoke through the phone.
Toji clears his throat. “I have to put out a–” He pauses for a second, turning off his British accent. “The statement I am about to post is going to be about us. Is that alright?” He sounded more American.
He really needs to stop picking up the British accent since he's been living in London for three years now even though he sometimes doesn’t pay enough attention when he talks.
“What else is new, T? Do whatever it is.” At the end of the line all he heard was a beeping sound. He couldn’t blame you for hanging up on him. He deserves it.
He sighs. “She gave me the go ahead.” He pressed one of his social media apps on his phone.
“So, what are you going to say exactly?” Ryan leaned forward with a smirk on his face.
He was loving this to begin with.
Toji rubs his chin trying to figure out what to actually say without making y/n look humiliated. “Something along the lines of us being friends.”
Ryan raises an eyebrow. “I told you people might not believe that. They are already believing you and y/n are a couple.”
Toji rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. “For fuck stake Ry.” He knew his publicist was right. In his mind he didn’t want to screw up at all. He doesn't want to lose you as a friend either.
“I’m just saying just speak from your heart and be honest this time.” He shrugged. “And hurry up because you have a race to do.” Ryan got up from his chair and squeezed Toji's shoulder before he walked out his office door.
Toji sat there with his phone in hand already had in his mind what picture he wanted to post with a caption knowing you mean so much to him in a way.
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tojifushiguro I have known y/nusername for years and we have built an amazing friendship over the years. She got my back. I have hers. She is my go to in this friendship whenever I need her to just hangout or just have a good conversation with. She will always be my best friend that I can count on. I will be always be there for her as well.
After hitting the post button on his phone screen, he noticed his instagram notifications started going crazy. He shut his phone off and gave his phone to his assistant.
“I think you did the right thing.” Victoria told him.
He got up from the chair and ran his hand through his hair. “Well, whoever doesn't like the truth can shove it up their ass.” He walked out the door going straight to his team garage.
Toji realized this was just the beginning of press being in his personal life more then before
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goldensparrows · 11 months
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every so often i gotta remember that 330 in the fucking morning is Not the time to get angry and defensive about what online strangers are saying
#swear to god nobody hates hispanics more than other hispanics#thats obviously a hyperbole but it fuckin feels real#its always 'lol look at these no sabo ass mfers' and 'its your fault for not speaking spanish'#and its never 'how can we help you and support you'#i get these hispanic things recommended to me and its always so infuriating and upsetting to see all the comments that look down on us#and from other hispanics too#like my family had to assimilate to survive and my mom wasnt taught spanish because it was about survival#right now im Trying to learn spanish but as an adult with most of my family now in america its difficult to say the least#and even when we try we are mocked for not doing something right#which goes back to making us not want to learn#like im working my ass off to reclaim my identity because theres been such a disconnect for generations now bc of discrimination#OOOOOOOG i should not be getting emo about this at nearly 4 in the morning#its just. i have to be american enough to fit in with the society i find myself in.#and i also have to be mexican enough to conform to the expectations of my own ethnicity that sees me as Not Mexican Enough because of xyz#this is a lot of words but i needed to get it out there#im just really fucking exhausted of this phenomenon#saw a comment that was like 'people of german/dutch/italian/any european descent dont have to prove themselves like this So Why Do We'#man this really doesnt go well with the identity crisis i had this last week and all this introspectiveness going on with my minor#groaning loudly if anyone gets this far let alone even sees this: good for you and im so sorry#bri words
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darkshrimpemotions · 3 months
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Actually the implications of John also being bisexual are so fucking tasty to me because like. OG John has no support system and no protection against the world except his own perceived strength so he learns to ferret out anything that can possibly be seen as weakness to those around him and that includes any affection or attraction he might feel towards men because nothing screams "stay in your fucking closet" like spending all your time around a fringe subculture of serial killing doomsday preppers in the Midwest during the Reagan era.
By the time he notices Dean starting to look a little too long at boys his age, he's probably convinced himself that whatever he felt (still feels but ignores) was a temporary youthful indiscretion, and of course Dean can't afford those, doesn't get to have those, he's got to be a soldier. He's got to be a better soldier than John, even.
I dunno I've just had enough conversations with family members who are loudly but somehow also mildly homophobic and yet say or do things that make me *eyeballs emoji* not to think this is not only possible but arguably likely.
#supernatural#the winchesters#spn#spnwin#john winchester#shifting my headcanon of john to the type of person who doesn't think of himself as homophobic if he ever things about it at all#and would even probably try to stop a hate crime if he saw one happening right in front of him#(or likes to think he would)#but also views his own queer desire--and thus that of others--with suspicion and contempt#like something frivolous that he simply doesn't have the luxury to pursue as a Real Man in the Real World with Real Responsibilities#and when you live like that especially due to your own choices anything that seems like a luxury you view with a certain level of contempt#so he's like 'heh must be nice to have time for boyfriends' in the most condescending and degrading way imaginable#in the same way he probably treated sam's affinity for academia#in fact i'd argue a lot of what we see from dean with regards to the way he mocks sam for certain things is probably just echoes of john#and what's REALLY crazy-making is the way most of these things dean mocks sam for early on later prove to be things DEAN actually does enjo#dean likes to read and he loves chick flicks and he gets excited about tomatoes and enjoys dressing up nice#dean learned early on that certain things were not acceptable for a Real Man from john bullying him out of doing them#and he does the same to sam#and one of the things he consistently mocks sam for in the beginning is his perceived sexuality#and sure we could just chalk that up to stereotyping but EVEN THEN that jives with the idea that#john simply put his own queer desire in a box labeled 'weaknesses real men don't have' along with idk a love of reading and salads and bein#emotionally vulnerable and sincere with people you love#and then he told Dean 'this is the box of forbidden things'#and dean the ever-dutiful son learned his lesson well
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marklikely · 2 years
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we were literally doing so good with the "stop making school shooting jokes about america" movement gaining solid ground and now these people are trying to ruin it by fighting to the death for their right to make fun of europeans suffering thru the heat wave
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omgeto · 9 months
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☆ SNEAKY LINK — dad's best friend!TOJI FUSHIGURO
summary: your dad didn't even need to tell you that his best friend was off limits, but you just couldn't help yourself. and on another visit home from university, he's the first person you get your hands on.
wc: 4.2k. (major slay from me)
cw: afab!reader, semi public sex, you fuck in a car, outside, he fingers you at the table, and eats you out in your childhood room <33 slight breeding kink, + your dad is clueless poor man so MDNI
an: was s'posed to write this yesterday but it didn't show up in the tags, so hopefully you guys can see this now and give it some love. never really done long smut before so give it a chance people!! fanks @kazushawty for beta'ing some, this is for you
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there was always something about your dad’s best friend, toji fushiguro, that you just couldn’t ignore. your dad had loads of friends throughout the years, and you never batted an eyelid. so when your dad brought toji to dinner for the first time, you couldn’t just disregard the way he looked, more importantly how he looked at you—making you end up sucking his dick in the bathroom of your family home, before dessert was even served.
you were away at university, making your little ‘relationship’ with toji a fleeting one, but best believe whenever you touched your home city, toji always found a way to touch you. “so you manage to find y’self a boyfriend, up at that fancy uni of yours?” toji asks, a sly grin playing on his lips, as he starts the car, pulling out of the train station parking lot.
“no, none of them are to my taste,” you respond shortly, trying to keep your composure, and maintain your focus on anything but him. you knew why he was asking, just so he could feel his pride swell when you say no. since he was always quick to remind you whenever you fucked that after being with him you woulnd’t want a dumb little college boy—and he was right.
“aww that's too bad,” he mocks, his hand easing its way onto your thigh as if it’s nothing, “a pretty thing like you, should be basking in boys.” you roll your eyes at his teasing, but you can’t ignore the slight quickening of your heart as his hand gives your thigh a light squeeze.
you both pretend as if you aren’t fucking eachother anytime your dad was around, it was easier to keep up the facade that way. neither of you wanted to hurt your dad, toji actually enjoyed his friendship and would never want to hurt his ‘oh so precious daughter.’’ but when he pictures how your tits bounce and how your ass shakes whenever he drives his dick into you, he was okay with losing a friendship if that meant he could continue to fuck you.
the rest of the ride was a comfortable silence, there was no more small talk, just the faded hum of the radio and your thoughts racing as toji’s hand remains on you. you were finally parked in the driveway of your home, “thanks for the ride home fushiguro,” you mumble, ready to leave his car. 
“fushiguro? were you not calling me toji last time you saw me?” he questions puzzled, his hand laying on your arm — stopping you from exiting the car, as his mouth comes up to your ear, “ whilst i was stuffing you full with my dick?”
“can we not do this here?” you grit out, trying not to react to the feeling of his touch, you look around the driveway and see your dads car parked right in front of toji’s. “my dad’s home.”
“so?” he shrugs, tugging against your clothes, “c’mon you know you wanna give me a little something before i leave.” you roll your eyes, reminding yourself that you shouldn’t be fucking your dad’s oldest friend — especially not when he’s only ten metres away. but the look that toji gives you, the lustful glint in his eyes, and the way his thick fingers toy with the hem of your jeans, you just couldn’t say no.
“make it quick,” you whisper, looking around your surroundings before pouncing on toji. the windows of his car weren’t tinted, but your neighbourhood is a quiet one, so as long he fucked you swiftly, you shouldn’t get caught.
“i don’t know why you’ve got this pouty look on your face,” he smirks, watching as you eagerly get yourself out of jeans, not fully, but just enough so that you could slide right onto his dick. “you want this just as bad as i do, don’t you?”
you didn’t bother responding, letting the way your pussy clenches around his throbbing member, be the answer to his question. there's a shared moan between you, with toji throwing his head back onto the headrest as he watches you ride him. his hands grip onto your ass, aiding you in bouncing up and down on his dick.
“c’mere,” he murmurs, his hand moving up off of your ass to lightly grip your chin as he directs your mouth to his. he kisses you sensually, the slow pace matching the rhythm of your ass grinding against him. your arms snake their way around his neck, your hands stroking the hair that falls just above his nape. 
“f-fuck,” you moan against his mouth, your boobs press against his chest as he thrust into you deeper. he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, suppressing your increasing screams, as his hips dig into your ass further. 
“y’better quiet down princess,” he mocks, pressing a quick peck to your lips, his smirk growing wider as he watches you chase his mouth, whimpering to have more of him. “you don’t want your daddy to hear us and come outside d’ya?”
“‘don’t care,” you whine, rutting your hips down against him, wanting him to stuff you full, to fuck you hard, not caring about who hears or sees you.
“oh you don’t care do you?” he continues to taunt, his fingers roaming across your chest — toying with the buttons of your shirt. and as you nod to his question, your pussy clenching down around his dick achingly, he grins, “get out of the car.”
“what?” you pause, trying to register if you’ve heard him correctly.
“you heard me,” he shrugs, his hands going to your hips to take you off your dick, “get out of the car, and lean right up against the hood for me.”
“you’re joking right?” you scoff, staring at him in shock, but his gaze is locked with yours without faltering, oh he was serious alright. “but what about my da—”
“what about him? you didn’t care about him seeing us a second again when you were slutting yourself out on my dick did you,” he continues to taunt, his thumb rubbing against your aching clit, toying with the folds of your soaking pussy — persuading you. “now i'm not gonna tell you again, get rid of the jeans fully and lean against the hood of my car.” 
he didn’t have to say anything else after that, the way he was playing with your pussy reminded you of what need. so you quickly get rid of your jeans, and get out of his car, a giggle escaping your lips as toji’s hand collides with your ass. 
you lean against the hood of his car, your arms stretching against it in excitement as toji comes behind you, palming your ass before stroking the slit of your pussy with his dick. he doesn’t even give you time to breathe before shoving himself back inside of you. his hand coming to the back of your neck to push you down, as he charges his dick back inside of you. 
“you like that?” he grins, as he drives into you deeper, the squelching of your dripping pussy around his dick, music to his ears. you nod, eagerly, too dick drunk to formulate a sentence —content in just rocking your ass back against his hips ready for him to cum inside of you.
“t-toji ‘m so close,” you whine, begging for that final push so you could reach your peak, “please j-just let me cum, i-i need to cum.”
“i’ll let you cu—”
“toji buddy! is that you?” you both pause, frozen in place as you hear your dads voice from the inside. you scramble apart from one another, toji pushing you off his dick and zipping up his pants, trying to regain his composure as he catches his breath. you dive back into your seats, aggressively shimmying into your jeans, panicked. ‘fuck toji for making me take these all the way off,’ you think to yourself, as you awkwardly pull your jeans up. you check the rear view mirror, to try and not look freshly fucked as your father nears the car.
“dad!” you exclaim, giving your father a hug and sending a quit look to toji that reads ‘shut the fuck up.’ your dad returns your hug with a tight squeeze.
“hey sweetheart, was toji here giving you a ride from the station?” he asks, a joyful smile on his face
“yeah i was giving her a ride alright,” toji mutters, his innuendo going straight over your fathers head as he looks back and forth between you, clueless. “she was showing me all the new things she’s learnt at uni, and boy has your daughter learnt a lot.” he flashes you a wink, that your dad misses, and you quickly glare at him in response.
“oh she’s a smart one isn’t she?” you dad boasts, practically parading you off and toji nods in response thinking to himself, ‘if only you could see how dumb she gets filled with my cum.’ 
you swiftly exit the space between your father and his friend, hoping that toji just leaves, although you didn’t get to finish, nearly being caught by your dad, panicked you. you give toji a brisk nod as a goodbye, as you grab your bags out of the car but you pause as you hear your dad ask him, “so, are you staying for dinner?” it was going to be a long night.
you spent the rest of the evening avoiding both your dad and toji, you couldn’t trust yourself to be around both of them without letting something slip. toji had just as much to lose, if your dad did find out about your activities, but that didn’t stop him from giving sly comments and looks just to see your scared, flushed face whenever you thought he was going to say something about it. 
when dinner starts you knew you were going to fold, fast. toji was sitting next to you, but his gaze was fixed on you with a teasing glint in his eyes. his mouth drops to your ear as he whispers, “doesn’t this remind you of when we first met? you teasing me all night before dropping on your knees for me in the bathroom upstairs.”
“what are you two gossiping about over there?” your dad asks as he enters the room with your food, and you immediately tense up hearing his voice, shifting away from toji to not give yourself away.
“oh i was just reminding her about when we first met at dinner all those years ago,” toji responded quickly, his composure kept cool as if he wasn’t just talking about you sucking his dick minutes ago. “a lot has changed since then.”
“yeah, my baby has really grown up and matured since then, haven't you?” your dad coos at you and you give toji a subtle elbow to his stomach under the table. but toji just can’t let up, enjoying your jumpy vibe a bit too much.
he nods in agreement with your dad, “yeah she’s really become a woman, right under our eyes.” he taunts, and only you knew that he was referring to how he felt that your body was built just for him. toji loved every inch of you, your face, tits and ass was a complete package that he just couldn’t get enough of. 
unbeknownst to your dad, toji’s hand slips underneath the table and right into your pants. your eyes cut towards his, and he the subtle raise of his eyebrow tells you he’s not gonna stop —and you weren’t planning on trying to stop him. 
you open your legs wider, to grant him further access, smiling along at your dad as he cluelessly babbles on to the both of you. toji was both attentive to the conversation and to your pussy. to anyone else it wouldn’t look like his fingers were curling up inside of you, your cunt coating his fingers as he slowly drives them into you.
as dinner continues, your hands remain clenched on your cutlery as you try and distract yourself from the growing feeling you were getting as toji rubs your pussy. he was casual about it too, laughing and joking with your dad as if his fingers weren’t getting drenched.
you were trying so hard to not ride his fingers in your seat, to not let your father see you getting slutted out by his best friend right in front of him. the thickness of his fingers were stretching your pussy wider, and his pace was achingly slow, to sensual for the burning desire you’ve been craving for him all day. but there is nothing you can do, and toji knew tha. the slight smirk on his face and spark in his eye was telling to the fact that he was aware of how badly you need him, and was amused by the needy little look on your face that you poorly try to mask.
“so how’s that boyfriend of yours?” your dad asks you, his question snapping you out of your dazed state. you choke slightly on your drink since you didn’t actually have a boyfriend but you couldn’t exactly tell him about the special guy you are seeing.
“h-he’s…great,” you respond, your voice faltering as you could feel toji’s eyes burning a hole in your head. his fingers pinch against your clit, punishingly and your eyes bounce between your father and him.
“we should have him over for dinner soon,” your dad suggests excitedly, “so we can all meet him.”
“yeah sure dad,” you lie, hoping that is enough to appease your father. but it definitely didn’t appease toji, he swiftly removes his fingers out of your pants, and he sends your a glare when your father wasn’t looking before going back to eating his food—with both hands.
dinner was a silent affair after that exchange, there were no more subtle sly comments from toji and your dad had worn out all the possible stories he could share about you. so you finish your meal in silence, your pussy still throbbing hard.
“that was a great meal as always,” toji compliments your dad, getting up out of his seat, “do you mind if i use the bathroom real quick before i head home?”
“yeah my home’s your home, do as you please,” your dad grins at him, “i’m gonna go and do these dishes, it was good seeing you,” your dad presses a kiss to your head and gives toji a handshake before heading to the kitchen.
with your dad now out of sight you could now see toji’s face and he was tense, to say the least. he was standing in the threshold of the door and all it took was the raising of his eyebrows and a shake of his head for you to know that he wanted your ass upstairs with him quick.
he led you to your childhood bedroom and he was already toying with the posters of random anime that you had plastered all over your walls, “cute.”
“toji i thought we agreed to not do this in the house anymore?” is the first thing you ask. after you first met and made a mess of your household bathroom, you both agreed that it would be easier if you just didn’t fuck in your house anymore to save the chance of your dad catching on. but it seems after today, toji couldn’t care less.
“a boyfriend huh,” he spits out with a bitter chuckle, turning to look at you, “what happened to ‘none of those boys are to my taste.’” 
“they aren’t,” you persist, folding your arms childishly as you try and get your point across. he doesn’t even respond, just raising his eyebrow at you in disbelief, thinking about your conversation with your father. “do you really think i could tell my dad about the real guy i’ve been fucking all this time? ”
he shrugs in response, his anger settling a bit in knowing now that you didn't actually have a boyfriend. “i didn’t peg you as a jealous type, in case you forgot, you’re the family friend not my boyfriend. so if i was to actually let one of these college guys date me, that’ll be okay.”
“oh it would be okay would it?” he mocks, stepping closer to you, “so i’m just this family friend, not the guy you slut yourself out for whenever you see me?” you couldn’t deny that, so you remain quiet, your heart pulsing as toji nears you. 
he grabs your hand and shoves it right down his pants so you could feel his throbbing dick, “y’know i’ve been hard for you all day, after your clueless dad had to ruin our fun earlier i’ve bursting to cum,” his dick pulses in your hold, emphasising his point, “and now it turns out that all i am to you is just a family friend, damn.”
“i didn’t mean it in that way,” you say, slightly regretting your choice of words, “i just think it’s a bit silly of you to be getting wound up, at your big age, over some hypothetical boyfriend when all we do is fuck.”
“at my big age? the fuck, im not even that ol—” he stops himself because he knows he could say whole lot that could have you crying quick. “i’m gonna let you have your little outburst here, but i did not drag you upstairs for this.”
“and what did you drag me up here for then?” you quiz, his dick still feeling the warmth of your hand. his arm snakes around your waist as he presses you close, your tits rubbing right against his chest. 
“well y’know i’ve been dying to fuck you in your bedroom,” he murmurs, he leads you over to your bed, chuckling as he pushes you down next to your stuffed animals, and childish shit that you’ve kept. he pulls down your jeans as he kneels down at the edge of your bed, a wide grin etched across his face, “i’ve been wanting to keep you out of these all fucking day,” he says as he flings your jeans across the room. 
“don’t forget your dad’s downstairs and we can’t let him ruin what we’ve got going on can we?” he pulls your down the bed so your pussy’s closer to your face, he snaps off your underwear and peppers a kiss onto your clit. you hiss at the contact of his mouth on you, and his eyes look up at you, “so you can be quiet for me, right?”
you nod eagerly, clenching your eyes as his mouth suctions onto your clit, biting and nibbling at it. you hold your lip between your teeth to keep yourself quiet, already gripping onto his hair to steady yourself. he’s barely done anything yet and he’s already got you losing your mind.
he drags his tongue down your wet slit, lapping up the sweetness from your pussy. you sigh harder, the grip on his hair only getting tighter the more his mouth works on your cunt. toji laughs as he taunts, “‘you’re just a family friend toji,’ yeah seems like it.” 
“s-shut up,” you pant out, clenching your thighs around his head as tongue inches deeper and deeper into your pussy, his nose pushed right into your arousal, breathing in every bit of you. “y-you are just a family friend.”
“whatever,” he smirks, watching as your mouth part as he plunges his fingers into you. he keeps his mouth on your clit, as two of his fingers piston in and out of you. you can’t help but thrust your hips up in his direction, aching to feel him deeper. 
“toji w-what are you—” you start to ask as he pulls his fingers out of you, just before you cum. 
he grins in response, popping one of his fingers in his mouth before saying, “you’re just too sweet y’know? come on taste yourself.” and before you can even respond properly, you were already sucking on his finger, smiling as he coos, “see how tasty you are?” 
he rids himself of his jogging bottoms, his dick springing out of them, hard and throbbing. “my balls have been aching to bust inside of you all day,” he complains, as he mounts you, your legs instinctively wrapping around his back, your arms snaking behind his neck. “but you’d like that wouldn’t you?”
“yeah please toji,” you whine, desperate for him to get his dick inside of your dripping pussy, “cum in me please, i just need you.”
“want me to cum in you yeah?” he smirks, as you shake your head, your hand moving down to his dick but he slaps it away, continuing to tease you, “gonna let me put a baby in you, right?”
“anything you want, just please.” you say, clawing at his back. but that’s all he needs to hear, as he shoves his dick into you with all his force, your eyes widening at the feeling. but as he quickly sets into a rhythm, you can’t help but moan out as his dick drives into you hitting the right spot, every single time.
he puts his mouth on yours to silence you, pecking your lips with kisses as he says, “you know you gotta be quiet for me princess, can’t have your dad hearing how im fucking my kids into you.”
“s-sorry i just c-can’t take it,” you apologise, your eyes rolling back as his lips move down from yours onto your neck. bruising and biting at it, with his teeth.
“oh but you can take it” he praises, “your pussy takes me so well, always such a good girl for me.” he bites back down on your neck harder, as you clench around him, the throbbing of his dick partnered with the gushing tightness of your pussy had him getting sloppier and sloppier with every stroke. 
toji’s hand slaps down on your clit, making you slightly jump up against his dick as it continues to charge into you. he tugs at your clit before swirling it and pressing down on it with his thumb. loving the way you gasp at the contact, scratching at him as your pleasure grows.
“f-fuck toji, please, i need to feel your cum,” you beg, and he presses his forehead against yours, as your hold around his back and neck become stronger. his dick ploughing into you with his unforgiving pace was becoming too much for you to handle, you wanted to feel his load deep inside of you. “lemme have it.”
“i-i’ll give it to you princess dont worry,” he reassures, stammering slightly as he could feel himself going to bust. this was his favourite sight of you, all fucked out under him, your eyes practically springing with tears as you beg him to finish inside you. it was only an added bonus that you were doing this on your fluffy pink sheets, literally right under your dad’s nose. “you’re such a naughty girl for this. what would your dad say if he could see you now?” he continues to tease.
“i don’t care what he’d say. i am a n-naughty girl. i wanna be your naughty girl.”
“yeah you are, you’re absolutely filthy,” he jeers, giving you his last thrusts before saying, “fucking taking in the cum of your dads best friend, begging to bred. not very ladylike if i do say so myself.”
“t-toji please,” you call out, fed up with his teasing. and he laughs before taking your mouth into his biting on your lip hard as he releases into you, plastering your pussy walls with all his cum. you do the same, your cum mixing with his as you release onto his dick. he slumps his body over yours, pressing kisses to your faces, satisfied as he thrusts his dick into you further to try and ensure his cum doesn’t slip out.
“ah, if only i could stay here for the night, i’d keep you plugged up with my cum and really get you pregnant,” he jokes, finally pulling out of you, amazed by how cum of his and yours ran down your thighs and pooled onto your bedsheets. 
“want you to stay,” you mewl, your arm stretching, reaching out for him.
“no can do princess,” he sighs, he actually wants to stay with you too, there’s nothing better then ending the night freshly fucked with his dick cushioned by your pussy all night as he sleeps. he presses a final kiss to your head, and grabs some wipes to get rid off the cum stuck to your legs, before leaving the room as he promises, “next time we’ll do it at my place, yeah?”
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AN: So what do you think of dads best friend!toji 🧍🏽‍♀️ this was meant to be apart of a broader part of the sneaky link smut but then a little drabble turned into a full fic. BUT THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME NERVOUS TO POST SINCE IM STILL NOT FEELING MY SMUT SKILLS YET. But it shall come with practice.so yeah lemme know ur thoughts
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hollandsangel · 2 months
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voice | m. sturniolo
i had this idea a million years ago, please enjoy!!
summary: chris wonders if you can tell his and matt’s voice apart
warnings: super fluffy!! a bit suggestive at the very end, i’m questioning if it’s good or not
wc: 1.6k
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gif by @mattsturnioloarchive !
“i call shower first!” you exclaim the second the garage door is open, sprinting past matt up the stairs to his bathroom.
“there’s three showers,” chris says matter-of-factly as you blow past him on the steps, holding a hand out in confusion.
matt sighs and follows behind you, passing chris as well, “yeah, but you don’t have to share,” 
you’re already on the mainfloor, running into matt’s bedroom to grab the change of clothes you’d left earlier.
“i’m so glad i don’t have a girlfriend,” chris mutters, earning a smack upside the head from nick, “jesus, fuck, what,”
“you’re just annoying,” nick says, deciding it’s a good enough explanation and getting a laugh out of matt.
“agreed,” matt’s still chuckling when they reach the kitchen table, setting down the take out the four of you had gotten on your way back to the house. he hears the water turn on in his bathroom, accompanied by the soft sound of your voice as you sing along to your music.
“oh she’s a nicki fan,” nick says to no one in particular, referencing the tik tok sound when he notices you’re listening to a nicki minaj song. 
matt looks up from the bag of food and laughs.
chris sinks into the couch but looks over at matt, arm slung over the cushions, “i wonder if she could tell our voices apart,” he says after a second. 
“what?” matt asks, thinking the question is mildy rediculous. 
“like do you think she could recognize your voice?” chris explains, wandering into the kitchen now. opening a pepsi and leaning up against the counter. 
nick chimes in now, having been fiddling with the vlog camera and battery, “like compared to you and me?” he asks chris, glancing back at matt as if to say ‘is this guy for real?’
“yeah,” chris nods.
“yeah, obviously she’d be able to tell my voice apart from yours,” matt is looking back at the food again, tone matter-of-fact, as if what he’d said was absolute common sense. 
chris is quiet for about half a second and matt thinks that’s the end of that absurd conversation. it isn’t, of course. 
“should we test it out?” chris asks through a sip of soda.
matt officially gives up on trying to set the food up, throwing his hands up in mock surrender before turning to chris, “and how are we gonna do that?”
chris shrugs, but nick has an idea, “chris, you could like, just go ask her for something, if you left something in the bathroom—“
“absolutely not,” matt shuts it down immediately with a shake of his head, “you're not going in the bathroom when my girlfriend is showering,”
“i won’t even go all the way in!! i’ll cover my eyes,” chris promises, but matt is still skeptical. “i’ll just like poke my head in the door and ask if i left like..a belt or some shit in there,” is chris’ next offer. 
matt sighs and thinks about it, weighing the pros and cons. of course you can tell his voice apart from his brothers…right? he’s making himself nervous, pysching himself out and worrying they all sound the same to you. it upsets him for some reason, he can’t quite decide why.
“fine,” he agrees after a beat of silence, convincing himself you know whis voice well enough to separate it from chris’, and if you can’t, he thinks he might actually feel a sick twinge of unjustified jealousy.
“yes,” chris mutters under his breath, always excited to pull a prank on anyone.
“this is definitely going in the vlog,” nick says, still messing with the camera and coming to sit at the kitchen table where matt is now.
“i can’t believe i agreed to this,” matt mumbles, rubbing his eyes and taking a deep breath. he stands from his seat and walks over to the wall where he can see the bathroom door, feeling some what protective, like he needs to supervise chris to make sure he doesn’t wander too far into the bathroom.
“what should i say?” chris turns back arms pulled in close to his body as if he’s nervous. he’s already grinning and trying to keep from laughing.
“ooh, call her sweetheart, matt always does that,” nick suggests, wiggling his brows in matt’s direction to tease him.
“oh my god,” matt groans softly, rubbing at his eyes, “i fucking hate you guys,”
“okay, i’m going in,” matt drops his hands at that, eyes on his brother immediately. chris puts a hand over his eyes, just as he said he said he would before knocking on the door. nick has the camera out to record and is trying to stifle his laugh in the collar of his hoodie.
at the sound of the knock matt hears your voice, calling out for him, no doubt thinking it’s him at the door. he has to cover his mouth, partly out of nerves but also to keep himself from saying anything.
“yeah,” chris starts, needing to take a second before continuing because he’s already making himself laugh. “yeah, sweetheart, did i leave my belt in here?” he asks, barely stood in the doorway of the bathroom.
“uhh, i think it’s in your bedroom?” you say after a slight pause, about to poke your head out from behind the shower curtain, but chris has already mumbled a ‘thanks’ and essentially sprinted out of the bathroom, closing the door and crumbling to the floor in giggles.
“you’re not fucking real,” matt shakes his head, laughing softly himself and pushing off the wall to go back to the kitchen table. he’s a bit bummed that you didn’t realize it wasn’t his voice, but he keeps that to himself.
nick pans the camera over to matt’s face, which seems expressionless, even with both his brothers cackling outside of the frame.
you come out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, heading into matt’s bedroom to drop the clothes you’d changed out of. matt is instantly sitting back up, the legs of his chair scraping along the hardwood floors.
“ooh, someone’s pissed,” nick turns the camera to himself, eyeing the now closed door.
“that was too fucking good,” chris says after a deep breath, still recovering from laughing so hard. he pulls a chair out next to nick and the two start to explain what had happened to the camera, eyes flicking up to matt’s door every few seconds.
in the bedroom you’re putting your dirty clothes back into your bag when matt comes in, looking a little bit pouty, “hey baby,” you turn towards him, laughing at the slightly pathetic look he gives you, “what’s up?” you wonder.
“m’ tired,” he tells you, slumping up against you for a hug. you wrap your arms around him and rub his back, letting him lay his weight into you.
“we’ll eat and go to bed, yeah?” you give his back another little pat when he nods against you, “mkay, let’s go,” you kiss his cheek quickly, only to have him turn his head in search of a real kiss. you oblige of course.
nick and chris have already started eating and updating the vlog on their day when you and matt come out of the bedroom. matt joins them at the table but you head for the fridge to grab a drink. “oh, did you find your belt?” you ask matt, still digging around.
“what?— oh yeah” he mumbles, gaze turned down to his fries.
“okay good. by the way you sounded so much like chris when you came in— it freaked me the fuck out” you say with your head in the fridge, still searching for the diet coke you know you left inside the door, “did one of you drink my coke–”
“wait what?” matt’s head snaps up, food forgotten.
“hmm?” you turn around to find all three boys looking at you. nick’s mouth open in a half smile and chris clearly trying not to burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. matt’s just staring at you with eyes a little bit too wide before he speaks up.
“what do you mean i sounded weird?” he asks, leaning forward. you notice nick’s shut up about whatever he was saying to the camera earlier, pointing the lens at you now.
“i dunno, when you said sweetheart it just sounded super fucking weird— why are you guys looking at me like that–” you have to ask, feeling slightly weirded out by the intensity of their gazes
“i knew it!!” matt cheers, punching the air and doing a silly little dance as nick doubles over and starts hitting the table.
chris’ jaw drops and he presses his fingers into his eyes as he laughs next to his brother, leaning on him.
matt bounds over to you with a grin, arms wrapping around your waist and lifting you off the ground slightly.
“whaaaat,” you giggle, clearly confused by their reaction. 
“it was me,” chris manages to say between bouts of laughter, “we– we were trying to see if you could tell our voices apart.”
“of course i can tell your voices apart, especially your voice,” you turn towards matt, saying it like it should be obvious, like it’s silly they doubted you for even a second. 
matt’s just grinning at you, feeling a strange sense of pride swelling in his chest, “i knew you could,” 
“bullshit!” chris exclaims, both him and nick still leaning against each other as they laugh.
“he’s right, you were freaked the fuck out,” nick manages to say between giggles, “you watched chris like a fucking hawk when he opened the bathroom door,” he looks over at you, his smile contagious, “he was definitely freaked the fuck out,”
matt groans and drops his head against your shoulder. you brush your fingers through his hair and chuckle to yourself, “awe matt,” you coo, “i definitely know your voice, i’ll probably be hearing lots of it later anyways.”
tags ! @st4rswrld @urfavvev3lyn @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears @its-jennarose
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weirdmageddon · 9 months
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i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
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even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
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but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
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im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
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don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
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rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
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roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
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side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
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but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
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yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
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the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
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what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
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and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
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but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
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he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”
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dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
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if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
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soapyblubbles · 10 months
Text
⋆。˙ runaway pets ˙。⋆
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pairings: dark regulus + dark poly marauders
warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, implied kidnapping, threesome, implied fivesome, voyeurism, overstimulation, (light) slapping, choking, stockholm syndrome, smoking, shotgunning, pet names, etc.
a/n: please enjoy the much more comprehensive version of one of my very first works. there were a lot of inconsistencies and issues with the first version. I added a lot more detail to this and it honestly feels more like a one-shot than a drabble now. i'll add the unedited version at the bottom just incase anyone wants to take a peak. anyways, happy reading <3
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“I told you it’d be worse if you went to get help.” Regulus sits on one end of the bed, a small indulgent smile flitting across his lips. As if nothing was wrong. 
As if you weren’t being fucked within an inch of your life.
You turn your head to him, breathless pants leaving your mouth as Remus continues to rock into you. His hips slap into your own at a steady pace. How long had he been sitting there?
The air is stifling, sweat beading along your forehead and the small of your back. The arm around your waist only adds to the oppressive feeling, Remus’ strong grip keeping you upright and in place.
Your arms shake from exertion, and you have to force your hands to unclench from where they’re fisting the damp sheets.
With a whimper, you reach for Regulus, trying to find the comfort you once found in him before it all. Before he had selfishly stole you away. Before you knew of the darkness lingering just beneath the surface.
You weakly try to pry off the arm wrapped around you, but it doesn’t budge. It only tightens, pulling you up until your back hits Remus’ firm chest.
“Want sir now. Please- Remmy-” The lanky brunette ignores you, muttering something unintelligible into your neck as his thrusts speed up. Your attention was stolen from him. He doesn’t like that- not one bit.
Your face crumples at the silent dismissal, the tears you’d been holding in falling just as you reach another trembling high.
“Please, m’sorry sir- c-can we please go home now?” You gasp out. Your limbs burn, they have been for a while you suppose, but still you try to ignore it, concentrating on just Regulus for now.
But he only hums noncommittally, standing as he makes his way to the makeshift bar in the corner of the room. Regulus rubs his jaw in mock thought, scrutinizing the scene before him while he pours himself a glass of firewhiskey. The smell of cinnamon saturates the air, adding to the heavy atmosphere.
“Thought you wanted to come here-“ He gestures around the room, lazily draping himself on the nearby armchair. “For help.” The last word is said with a sneer and laced with so much venom that you balk.
Even though you can tell he’s done arguing about it, you still sob out: “I’ll be good- promise.”
You hear Sirius let out a scoff. He’s leaning against the headboard, his shirt unbuttoned and a lit cigarette in hand, doing nothing but watching as his friends ruin you.
He’d been the one to call Regulus when you came running to their house, barefoot and in nothing but a frail, white nightgown. “You’re already being good here, pup- s’no use in leaving.” He makes his way towards you, squishing your cheeks together, your lips forming an o-shape.
He blows smoke into your mouth, smirking when you cough at the burn. “Y’already gonna be punished anyway, might as well do that here- ain’t that right Reggie?”
Regulus rolls his eyes, breaking his normally composed demeanor. “Don’t call me-”
“Hush, I can’t focus when you lot keep talkin.” James' speech is slurred as he speaks up, moving his head slightly from between your legs. He pays no mind to the way Remus pumps in and out of you. His mouth is so close to where the two of you meet that you can feel his cool breath against your clit as he talks.
“S’annoying.”  
You clench around Remus at the feeling, and the man in question groans, giving you a particularly rough thrust.
James goes back to work at that, humming softly as he drinks in yours and Remus’ juices. You let out a another strangled moan, instinctively trying to tilt your hips away.
Instantly Sirius’ face darkens with anger, “Uh-uh, I don’t think so puppy.” A hand shoots out to grab the base of your neck as James’ hands grip the front of your thighs tightly.
“Don’t fuckin’ run away from him- you understand?” 
You nod shakily, chest rising and falling quickly as you watch him with unseeing eyes.
“Just take it like a good girl, princess.” James cooes, lightly nibbling on the inside of your thigh. You let out a startled yelp.
“What d’you say bunny?” Remus asks from behind you, hips slowing as he tries to find that spot. Trying to coax the words out of you. You whine, unable to answer until Sirius gingerly slaps your cheek, raising a sharp brow at you.
“M’sorry- m’so sorry Jamie.” Your head is spinning, an ache growing until it becomes practically mind numbing.
At this point it’s all you can focus on.
“Thought I taught you better than that pet.” Regulus chides, clicking his tongue in disappointment. He looks only slightly more disheveled than before. His hair is not neatly combed back like it was earlier, and his tie considerably loosened. His fingers dig into the cushioned arms of the chair, the veins in his forearms flexing in a way that makes your mouth water.
You lick your lips. “Sir-”
Remus shushes you. “S’ okay bunny- y’just have to make it up to him.” You cry out as he brushes against your g-spot, finally finding what he’s been looking for this whole time.
Each hit of his hips is aimed perfectly, giving you no room to breathe until you’re a gasping mess.
James’ mouth certainly doesn’t help. His warm tongue suckles at your clit, unrelenting as he brings you to that exhilarating peak over and over again.
Eventually he breaks away, wiping the wetness around his mouth with the back of his hand. A feral grin forms as he pushes the hair away from your face, cupping your teary cheeks. “That wasn’t so bad now was it? You can take a little more, right?”
Sirius answers before you can even think to open your mouth, a mocking frown on his face. “I don’t know about that Prongs- she seems a right mess already, huh? Don’t think she can go on.” He slaps between your legs, and a panicked moan startles its way out of you. 
You quickly come undone, so worked up from before, but the torment doesn’t end there.
“I think you're right, Pads.” James murmurs, as he slips his fingers through the mess of your cunt, the tips of his fingers grazing the base of Remus’ cock.
It’s enough to startle a groan out of him.
Sirius grabs onto your hips, reaching around James to take control of the even pace Remus set. “C’mon pup, make a mess on Moony’s cock- be a good little cockslut for us.”
He bounces you viscously atop Remus, everyone watching intently as you become a drooling mess.
Your set your lidded gaze on Regulus, whose self-control looks like it’s seconds away from snapping. 
Yet he makes no move to stop the situation.
“Come on princess- fuckin’ come for us. Make a fucking mess.” James growls into your ear, pinching your clit roughly. Tears well in your eyes, body tensing as you are, yet again, pushed off the edge.
“Fuck- such a good bunny.” Remus curses. 
Sirius and James mock your high pitched cries, taking a sadistic pleasure in watching you sob at the overstimulation.
Your limbs go slack, Remus panting heavily as he fucks you through it all, his breath fanning against your neck. He kisses your temple softly and you whine, barely able to move, even as the aftershocks flow through you. 
The three continue to overstimulate you, and Remus lets out a breathy chuckle when Sirius lets go of your hips, letting you fall face first into James’ chest.
“S’your turn princess. We’re not doing all the work for you- besides you still have three more cocks to go.”
☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾
UNEDITED VERSION
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dcxdpdabbles · 8 months
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I love every fic That has Danny still being Phantom even while in the DC universe but sometimes I just want my little guy to flex his intellect and be all around little mad scientist that only sometimes uses his powers to pick up a screwdriver
Danny is smart.
He knows he is brilliant.
He may have been outshined by his family when he was younger, but that was because his focus was on something else, and frankly, being born last into a family of geniuses made one feel like one wasn't as intelligent as them.
He constantly compared himself to them, knowing that they had already achieved what he was doing and falling further and further behind in his self-wellow.
Then Danny left Amity Park and went into the real world.....he found his intelligence got him far. Danny was exceptionally brilliant when he was working on machinery, chemistry, and, above all else, engineering.
Maybe it had something to do with watching his parents repurpose any household item into a completely new technology that affected beings from different dimensions simply because they used math.
Or maybe it was that his brain was always moving, always connecting, and constantly processing. Danny didn't realize that people couldn't just make whatever idea came into their heads a reality.
Hell, his dad heard about Mr. Freeze's ray and he made a copy in two months. Danny made Mr. Freeze's ray in two weeks. He made other ghost tech in that same amount or enough to arm his schoolmates in one afternoon.
The point is that Danny is good at what he does. Put a screwdriver in huis hand, and he be off until whatever hair brain idea he had a physical form.
Everyone in Amity Park knew this as a fact about the Fentons/ Since they moved in, there was nothing but experiments one right after the other. Sure, they wasted it on things like Ecto-studies, but his parents made their money from somewhere before the world learned about ghosts.
Danny's parents had many, and he means many, patents. Everything from a brand of microwaves to vehicle parts.
His parents created them, sold them to partial rights to companies, and then wasted whatever money they got on some new experiment for a ghost that had not yielded any fortunes.
He thought he could do the same. Just apply to anywhere that would take him after creating a portable phone changer on one's wrist. He figured it would have gotten less attention than he did hadn't he just shown up at Wayne Expo as an unknown inventor through his parents contacts.
Danny had felt relatively small with his foldable plastic table and his four cardboard boxes of his invention while everyone had booths and screens, and a few even had prominent speakers with people in suits that cost more than his house
. Danny felt like a little kid trying to sell lemonade in the five-star hotel lobby. Everyone walked right by him without a glance, or they jeered and mocked him.
That was until Bruce Wayne wandered over. Kind and charming the man, maybe he wasn't the brightest- but he stood there listening to Danny excitedly explain how moving the hand on the bracelet caused it to charge, so walking around with it was all the kinetic energy it needed.
His ward- Dick Grayson, in all his tiny ten-year-old authority, had purchased a bracelet from Danny. It had been the only sale he made that night, but it was the only one he needed. Bruce had called him to offer him a position at WE.
Like his parents, Danny enjoyed his freedom, so instead, he offered to be a freelance inventor. He would show the Wayne's first dibs but go where the wind took him. He made them if he found buyers who weren't trying to ice him out of profits.
Unlike his parents, he didn't waste the funds past his travels. Slowly but surely building up a fortune over time.
Danny still went out as Phantom, but over the years he invented random gadgets and chemicals that he would ship to Bruce for a healthy paycheck. Ussually he makes something that the rich man off-handedly comments on.
"Oh Danny, I just loved skydiving, but I'm scared Dick's parachute will get stuck."
Danny invented one with small rocket blasters Bruce could manually control into landing for his son.
"I always enjoy undersea diving. The tanks are a killer on my back. Jason was almost weighted down by them too."
Danny created a breathing mask that had the tanks in smaller easier-to-carry cylinders.
"Tim really loves his computers. Wish I could take the whole thing with me when I go out!"
Danny had a working computer on a heliographic wristwatch the next month.
It was awesome. Danny traveled a lot but always found time to call and speak with Bruce. He got to know the man well over the years, found himself chatting with him for hours, and even spent his visits to Gotham at Wayne Manor as a guest.
Bruce's kids were a riot to be around. He would often go away for a while only to return and find that they had grown in numbers. He loved them like his own and found himself a confidant among the children.
It was he that Dick called to whispers about his insecurity within Bruce's home. He would go to all the gymnastics and mathletes shows he could catch, cheering the loudest among the rich parents as Dick outshone the rest of the children.
Danny had practically flown home to rip Bruce a new one until the man admitted to his gapping son that he had applied to be his father mere months after taking him in.
It was Danny that Jason spoke to when Dick and Bruce's fights were too loud. He would take the boy on trips, and talk for hours about books to calm down, then he had sat Bruce and Dick down to rip another new one.
It was no surprise that Jason had called him when he had tried to run away to confront his birth mother. He had been there to see the bitch arrested before she could hurt Jason.
It was Danny that Tim often sought out to showcase his photos. He always made sure to call the boy right before he was meant to sleep, regardless of which part of the world Danny was on, to wish him goodnight and talk about their days.
Tim always brightened whenever Danny caught his skateboard competitions or club performances. He was the one who found out Tim's biological parents neglected him after the boy told him, and he was the one to help Bruce win custody.
Then came Damian, who was as scared as he was angry. Danny adored him and saw so many ghost-like mannerisms in him that connecting to the boy wasn't hard at all.
Bruce didn't seem to understand that his son was used to outlined expectations and grew irritable when he felt he failed them. He was the one that help Damian get used to his environment and was the one the boy was much more willing to try new things with.
Steph and Danny often got along well with their sense of humor, but mostly she followed him around, seeking approval that likely missed out from her parents. They would sit down and talk about her future and what she wanted in life, and he even let her practice her makeup on him and giggle about boys.
Sometimes, it felt like she didn't have to be the tough girl from the rough part of town. She could be a teenage girl without a care in the world. At least, that's what she claimed Danny made her feel like.
Cass didn't talk much, but she didn't have to for Danny to not see how much she enjoyed their days out, too.
He loved taking her to see the arts, to sit and listen to music together, and most of all, to see her slowly bloom into a sociable young lady so different from the closed-off girl that first arrived at Wayne Manor.
Duke was still relatively new, but Danny could spot the wild, unhinged look in his eye that would have made him a proper Fenton. The two often spent their time playing video games and working in the community together.
Duke seemed to enjoy when Danny invited him to tag along on short trips, especially when the two would go camping. As someone who grew up in the city, he had never been fishing until Danny taught him how to reel in a big one at a lake a state over. The whole Wayne family had cheered the dark skin boy on as he held the trout over his head for the photo.
Alfred treated him like one of the family sometimes meeting up with Danny on his travels for a cup of tea or a nice phone call to gossip about Bruce.
Danny loved it but adored when the Waynes would help with his inventions. Even if all they did was sit in his makeshift lab inside his RV or the west wing of Wayne Manor like Bruce did, having them made his hands fly faster and his calculations sharper.
Sometimes, he caught the strangest, softest look on Bruce's face when Danny would be wielding.
Danny was so used to this lifestyle that he would forget about his ghost powers. It's not like he really needed them.
That came to head when he returned to Gotham on a whim, wanting to surprise Bruce for his birthday by taking the other man out to dinner somewhere fancy he happened to stumble across the scene of Scarecrow holding the Waynes- his Waynes- as hostages at an award ceremony in the new mental hospital they had funded.
Danny hadn't thought.
He saw the Fear Gas vents open and pulled one of his gadgets. He threw it as hard as he could at Scarecrow, watching with satisfaction as it bounced off the manic's head- knocking him out and spinning in place as it activated.
It was a miniature vacuum- meant to gather pollution in the air to hopefully clean up their planet- sucking in all the green smoke before it could harm.
He three out of the other five at the goons that had tried to gas the spectators before, pressing his anti-gravity plates- reversing them to slam the goons into a heap and officially knocking them out.
Danny took down the Rouge in under a minute.
"Bruce! Kids! Are you alright?" He cried rushing the stage to the stunned family. He helped them out of their bonds, gentelly tracing the bruise on Bruce's face with a soft whine. "They hurt you."
"I'm alright, darling," Bruce muttered, leaning into his palm. "I'm better with you here. What was that?"
"Oh just a-"
"Look out!" Dick suddenly screams as a flash of ice comes from nowhere. Danny tucks Bruce onto his chest and rolls away from the ray's pathway. They land with his friend on his back and Danny leaning over him in a protective hunch.
Quickly, he stops his foot against the ice, pressing the heel back and watching bursts of electricity from his built-in tazer race up the ice to the beam of Dr. Freeze.
The man doesn't have time to react before spamming and hitting the ground. Danny scoffs. "Using a ray with a cryogenic laser beam so last season. Invent something new, you one act poney."
Bruce stares up at him with those soft eyes again, and Danny smiles now that he is sure the Danger is gone.
"Is there nothing that mind of yours can't do?" Bruce asks and Danny laughs helping him to his feet as police swarm the place.
"Find me a date, maybe." Danny jokes, "I haven't had one since you took in Dick.""
"Neither has Father!" Damian shouts from behind them. Danny bemussingly watches the young boy march up to gesture at the mortified-looking man.
Despite his father's obvious embarrassment, Damian does not seem bothered to shout for everyone to hear. "He may swing both ways but hasn't acquired a suitable spouse. What says you, Danny? You could assist in correcting this error."
"Sure, I'll take him out." Danny laughs, patting the boy on his shoulder, knowing he hates to have his hair touched. Damian all but melts into his hand like his father seemingly smug. "I know a great club to meet some great people in Metropolis!"
Damian's smug look fades away as Bruce's eyes fall. "I meant for you to be Father's sp-"
"Danny, would you mind explaining those tazer shoes?" Bruce cuts in, throwing a arm over the inventor's shoulder. "They were dazzling!"
"Oh, Bruce, I'm always happy to explain my creations!"
Damian pouts as the two walk away, acting like a married couple to the scattered spectators. If only his Father would just man up and tell Danny that he's practically been his second Father all these years, they need to officiate it.
Tim sighs, placing a hand like Danny did on his shoulder. "It's okay, Dami. This time, we will surely succeed in the Parent Trap plan. Maybe before Danny gets lost in the lab trying to invent a way to warp travel."
"Don't even joke, Tim," Jason says. "Danny would figure that out. He created the Zeta Beams to make it to my senior play. He'll figure out warping if we ask him to."
"Dad's the best," Steph laughs, and they all agree, determined more than ever to make Parent Trap happen.
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pucksandpower · 2 months
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Fashionably Challenged
Max Verstappen x Reader
Summary: you and Max may not exactly be the paddock’s most stylish couple, but you wouldn’t want it any other way
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You wake up to the sound of Max rummaging through the closet of your shared hotel suite. Rolling over, you see him laying out two matching outfits — the Red Bull Racing team polos, skinny jeans, and sneakers you’ve grown accustomed to over the years.
One set for him, one set for you.
“Morning, liefje,” he says, catching your gaze. “I have our outfits for the day ready to go.”
You smile sleepily. “Thanks, babe. You know me too well.”
Max grins as he walks over and climbs back into bed, throwing an arm around you. “Of course I do. Can’t have my girlfriend showing up to races looking anything less than perfect.”
You laugh and playfully shove him. “Oh shut up. You know I’d show up in a potato sack if I could.”
“Don’t even joke about that,” he says with mock seriousness. “I would never let you embarrass me like that.”
“Embarrass you?” You scoff. “Please, like you even notice what I’m wearing half the time. You’re just as bad as me when it comes to fashion.”
Max opens his mouth to protest but then shuts it, shrugging in admission. “Okay, fair point. But that’s why I always get you the same thing I’m wearing. So there’s no way we can mess it up.”
You consider this for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We make a pretty fashionably challenged couple.”
“The most fashionably challenged,” he agrees with a laugh. He pauses, gaze growing serious. “But I like it that way. I like that we match.”
Warmth blooms in your chest. “Me too.”
The morning passes quickly as you get ready for the race. True to form, you both pull on the matching outfits without a second thought. As you’re walking out to the car, Max stops you.
“Wait,” he says, taking your hand and turning you to face him. He looks you up and down appraisingly. “You look perfect, just like always.”
You can’t help but beam at the compliment. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
He grins. “Not nearly enough.”
“Well I do,” you say, leaning in to kiss him. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, schatje,” Max murmurs against your lips. “Now let’s go kick some ass today.”
The race goes well, Max taking the checkered flag to the roar of the crowds. As you’re waiting to congratulate him, a podcaster approaches you with a microphone.
“Hi there,” she says brightly. “I’m Lottie from The Racing Line. I was wondering if I could ask you a couple quick questions?”
“Oh, um, sure,” you’re a bit caught off guard.
“Great! So first off, you and Max always seem to be wearing matching outfits to the races. Is that something you two purposely coordinate as a cute couple thing?”
You feel your cheeks flush slightly. “Oh no, not at all actually. The truth is neither of us have much fashion sense at all. So Max just gets me the female version of whatever he’s wearing to make it easy.”
The podcaster looks disappointed. “Oh, I see. So it’s not some adorable couple tradition then?”
“Well, I mean, I guess in a way it kind of is?” You say quickly, feeling guilty. “Neither of us are really into fashion, so we end up matching by default anyway. I think it’s sweet that we always end up coordinating without even trying because we’re just so in sync.”
She perks up at that. “Aww, okay, I can see that! So even though it’s not on purpose, you’ve made your own cute little tradition out of it just by being so aligned. That’s really romantic.”
You nod, smiling softly. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“Well thank you so much for your time,” she shakes your hand. “And congratulations to Max on another win!”
“Thank you,” you reply as she walks away.
A few minutes later Max emerges, helmet under his arm and face lit up in that way you love. You throw your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.
“Congratulations baby, you were amazing out there as always.”
“Thank you, schatje,” he says, squeezing you close. He pauses, smile turning teasing. “Did you enjoy chatting with that podcaster earlier?”
You pull back, eyes narrowing. “You saw that, did you?”
He chuckles. “Of course I did. I always notice you.”
“Well then you also saw me have to completely backtrack and come up with some sappy story for why we match when she thought it was a cutesy couple thing,” you say dryly.
Max shrugs. “It kind of is though, isn’t it? Maybe not on purpose, but it’s become our thing.”
“I guess you’re right,” you admit. “I told her it was romantic how in sync we are, always coordinating outfits without even trying.”
“Hmm, I like that,” he says, grinning. “We really are pretty in sync, aren’t we? Two fashionably hopeless peas in a pod.”
You laugh. “That we are.” You look at him fondly. “But I love our way better than being one of those obnoxiously coordinated couples.”
“Me too,” he agrees. “Though I will admit ...” His gaze grows more serious. “Part of the reason I like matching is because it makes me happy to walk around wearing the same thing as you. Like we’re a unit, you know?”
Your heart skips a beat at the soft vulnerability in his voice. “Max Verstappen, you big old romantic,” you tease gently.
He shrugs but you can see the pleased look in his eyes. Sudden understanding washes over you.
“Wait a minute … is that why you got me the same outfit the first time? Not just because you thought it would be easier, but because you wanted us to match?”
Max stays silent for a moment before breaking into a sheepish grin. “You caught me.”
“Oh my god!” You shove his shoulder playfully. “You big sap!”
“What can I say? I like having my girl on my arm looking like the power couple we are,” Max says, pulling you close again. “Fashionably challenged or not.”
“If only everyone out there making you out to be the villain could see the cuddly teddy bear you really are. I absolutely love it,” you murmur, stretching up to kiss him. You can feel him smile against your lips.
As you break apart, Max squeezes your hand. “Come on, let’s go celebrate. In new matching outfits, of course.”
You pretend to roll your eyes exaggeratingly but allow him to lead you towards the exit, your hands intertwined. You truly wouldn’t have it any other way.
***
You and Max are curled up on the couch in your hotel room, his arm draped around you as you lean into his side. It’s a rare quiet moment between races and you’re savoring the feeling of Max’s fingers gently carding through your hair.
“Hey Max?” You say after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“Hmm?” He hums in response, not looking away from the football match on the TV.
“I got an interesting offer today.”
That piques his interest and he turns his head to look at you. “Oh yeah? What kind of offer?”
You take a deep breath before answering. “A sponsorship deal, actually. From Oscar de la Renta.”
Max raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, that’s … really great, liefje. I’m so happy for you.”
But something in his tone makes you frown slightly. “Are you though? You don’t sound that excited.”
He gives you a half smile. “No, no, I am! That’s a huge opportunity for your career and image. Having that kind of sponsorship deal is amazing.”
“But?” You prod knowingly.
Max lets out a breath, smile fading. “But I guess part of me is a little disappointed and maybe … worried?”
“About what?”
“Well,” he shifts uncomfortably. “I like being the one who picks out your outfits for the races. Our little unintentional matching tradition has kind of become my thing, you know? I’m worried if you get sponsored by some big designer brand you won’t wear the outfits I pick out anymore. That we won’t match.”
His tone is carefully casual but you can hear the undercurrent of vulnerability. Your heart clenches in your chest.
“Oh Max ...” you murmur, reaching up to cup his cheek. “You really like our matching outfits that much?”
He averts his eyes but nods. “Yeah. I know it sounds silly, but I just … I like how in sync we are. How happy it makes me feel when we show up to the races looking like a real team. Like we’re truly partners in everything. I don’t want to lose that.”
The softness in his voice breaks your heart a little. You take his hand and give it a squeeze.
“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” you tell him gently. “Because I never would have accepted that offer anyway.”
Max blinks in surprise. “You wouldn’t?”
You shake your head. “Not a chance. First of all, they were pressuring me to only wear very high-end stuff, none of which really feels like my personal style. But more importantly ...” You lean in closer, maintaining eye contact. “They don’t have a men’s collection. So they couldn’t sponsor you too.”
Realization lights up his gaze. “Oh ...” he says softly.
You nod. “Exactly. I told them thanks but no thanks. Because no designer wardrobe is worth giving up what we have.”
Max looks stunned. “You … you turned them down? Just to keep matching with me?”
“Of course I did,” you say affectionately, poking his chest. “I would never give that up. How could I say yes to some fancy sponsorship that meant not having my fashionably challenged other half by my side, both looking like total goofballs in the one outfit the world thinks makes up the entirety of our closet?”
A slow smile spreads across his face and he pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly. “God, I love you,” he murmurs into your hair. “So much.”
You relax into his embrace, overwhelmed by the rush of affection. “I love you too,” you whisper. You pull back slightly to look at him. “Did you really think I’d give up matching with you over that?”
“I don’t know,” he admits, looking a little sheepish. “I guess a small part of me was worried maybe you’d be tempted by the glamor and exposure of being a designer brand ambassador.”
“You know me better than that,” you affirm. “Our matching looks are too special to me. I adore everything about our little tradition — the fact that it started because neither of us cares about fashion, to you always picking out my outfits, and how happy it makes both of us to show up to races coordinating with each other.”
You take Max’s hand, intertwining your fingers. “Don’t you see, my love? It’s not really about the clothes at all, it’s about us. About how perfectly aligned we are in this little part of our lives. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.”
Max’s eyes have gone suspiciously bright, his free hand reaching up to cradle your face. “But liefje … you could have had any designer clothing you wanted.” His voice is thick with emotion. “You turned that down … for me?”
Unable to find the words, you just nod, blinking back your own tears.
“I can’t believe it,” Max breathes out shakily. “You never cease to amaze me.”
You offer him a watery smile. “Well believe it, my love. Because there’s nothing in the world more precious to me than you and our bond. I wouldn’t sacrifice that for anything.”
A single tear escapes to trail down Max’s cheek and you quickly brush it away with your thumb. Seeming at a loss for words, he pulls you into a fierce hug, tucking your head under his chin as you settle into his embrace.
“I love you,” he finally whispers into your hair. “So damn much.”
“I love you too.” You pepper kisses along his neck and jaw until you reach his lips, capturing them in a deep, slow kiss that tries to convey every unspoken word of devotion and adoration.
When you finally break apart, Max gazes at you with an intensity that makes your breath catch.
“God, you really are perfect,” he murmurs, running a hand reverently through your hair. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“No,” you shake your head with a soft smile. “I’m the lucky one. To have someone who loves me so fiercely, someone I love just as much in return.”
Max lets out a watery chuckle. “I think we’re both the lucky ones then.”
You settle back against his chest as he wraps his arms securely around you. For a while neither of you speaks, lost in your own thoughts as you simply bask in each other’s presence. You let your eyes drift shut as Max’s fingers resume their gentle motions through your hair.
Eventually you break the silence.
“You know we’re going to have to get even cuter matching outfits now to make up for it,” you murmur teasingly.
Max’s chest rumbles with laughter against your cheek. “Deal. Anything you want, schatje. I’ll make sure we’re the most adorable fashionably challenged couple at every single race from now on.”
You smile at the warmth and conviction in his voice. “No one could ever call us uncoordinated.”
“Never,” Max affirms, dropping a soft kiss to the top of your head. “We’re perfectly matched in every way that matters.”
You sigh contentedly as you snuggle further into his embrace. In that moment, you know he’s absolutely right. You couldn’t imagine a better match than your Max.
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jaylaxies · 2 months
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NOW OR NEVER
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PAIRING: spider-man!sunghoon x fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, choking, fingering, slight bondage, usage of nicknames, breeding.
SYNOPSIS: going around the city with your massive poster which said, ‘Choke me, Spider-Man!’ was something you did for fun, not knowing that your dream might actually come true.
WC: 1.4k words
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni
A/N: hihi, loves! this one was requested by my anonnie and i’ve also posted this as a mark fic before! i hope you guys will like it :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! iloveyou all <33
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“Shh, baby. Don’t want your parents to hear now, do we?”
You truly couldn’t believe that it was happening—that Spider-Man was in your room with his slender fingers wrapped ever so perfect around your throat.
You’ve always wanted this from the day you first saw him, on the day he saved a lift full of people from falling down and crashing to the ground. You were one of those who unfortunately got stuck inside the lift too, which was the traumatic onset of your tiny crush on him.
No one knew who was behind that mask, yet his suit clad figure was a sight to see, his build lean and slightly muscular, not to mention he smelled brilliant (a little something you gathered when he saved you).
To add to it, his ever so attractive voice always grasped everyone’s attention, you thought he was funny too, which is exactly why you ended up making a poster full of glitter saying:
Choke me, Spider-Man!
It was a silly joke, albeit you’d definitely be lying if you say you didn’t get wet dreams about the superhero, because you did. Detailed ones at that.
Maybe carrying the poster with you at all times was a stretch but you did it anyway, granted that your city was full of crimes and spotting Spider-Man was an easy task, which is why you proudly held up the poster in the crowd whenever you saw him, after he fought with the villain that is.
The people around you laughed, but it wasn’t mocking, it was more of an amused laugh, and you could have sworn you noticed spidey look your way, before swinging away, much to your dismay.
This went on a few times. You were practically waving the poster frantically when it was the fourth time, yet he didn’t pay you attention of any sort, leaving you dejected as you dragged yourself back home from Uni, chuckling at your state.
Crush on a superhero?
Pathetic.
He’s loved by countless people all over the world, what makes you think he’d have time to give you even a sliver of his attention when he’s so busy saving the world?
Clicking your tongue, you threw the crumbled poster in the trash can of your bedroom, dimming the lights as you sat down on your bed, ready to change into your nightwear before opting to sleep to take your mind off things.
Just then, a loud sound of knocking on your window caught your attention, which was funny considering you lived up on a pretty high floor in your apartment building. You thought that it must be a bird, still, you decided to open the curtains to check it out.
Shock would be an understatement to explain what you were feeling the second your eyes laid on the person right outside your window.
The reason for your sour mood, or rather, the reason you spent hours trying to ease the pent up frustration in you each night, moaning out with need, was hanging by your window.
“Oh god,” you breathed out, brain short circuiting for a few seconds before you shook your head, opening the windows for him to come in.
Who knew Spider-Man would actually care enough to notice you?
Then you realized just how awkward the situation was, and you didn’t have much to say anymore now that he was standing right in front of you, looking around as if he was inspecting your room.
“Spider man,” you breathed out, and he chuckled.
His attention was on you now, walking closer to you, “so, you’re the one who wanted to be choked by me,” he said smoothly, and you couldn’t help but shamelessly gawk at his figure, mouth watering at the sight.
“Uhm—I mean, holy fuck you’re actually here,” you tried to voice out your thoughts, but they were a mess, which only caused him to chuckle at your shocked state.
“Didn’t you want me here, baby?” He asked and you felt your knees buckling at the deep tone of his voice.
You took another step back, only to lose balance and trip. But good for you, your spidey was quick to shoot his web on your silky night blouse, pulling you close and right into his arms.
He smelled so good.
“Careful. We don’t want you hurting your pretty face,” he whispered, tracing his glove clad finger along your jaw, gripping your chin when he noticed how your body had gone still, “deep breaths, babe.”
“Are you gonna fuck me?” You asked, voice coming out in a low whine, eyes twinkling with hope.
He chuckled, pulling his mask up which had you bubbling with anticipation, you really wanted to see what he looked like. However, he stopped a little too soon for your liking, only exposing his lips, leaning in to mumble against your own.
“I’m gonna fuck the life out of you,” he whispers, a gasp leaving your lips as you pulled him closer into a rushed kiss.
He was quick to take over, kissing you harder as he pushed you down on your bed, you could feel his fang like canines biting down on your bottom lip, “undress, quick,” he ordered, and you fumbled while getting everything off your body.
Your cheeks were warm, your eyes on his figure, which was now devoid of his costume, faint abs and strong muscles on display for you, but your mouth practically salivated at the sight of his cock, thick and hard.
Just when you sat up to touch him, he grabbed your wrist, pushing them up your head and shooting webs to tie them, making sure they didn’t move.
You never knew you’d be into web-play but here you are, getting wet by being constrained by webs.
“Please,” you begged in hopes that he’d touch you, or do something, anything.
“So needy, aren’t you?” He clicks his tongue, his fingers caressing your cunt, collecting your wetness, “so wet already,” he smirked, “wanna be fucked all night, huh?” He asked, continuing working his fingers between your legs, arousal leaking from your cunt.
His other hand was wrapped up around your neck, fingers tightening enough for you to gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt lightheaded with the whole situation, but you couldn’t have asked for anything better.
He was so good with his fingers, thumb pads circling your clit while two digits plunged in and out of you, eliciting moans out of you.
“Shh,” he whispered, his hold around your neck tightening which caused you to open your mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity to lean in and spit in your mouth, watching the glob travel down your tongue till you gulped it down, earning a praise out of him, “good girl.”
He pulled back right when your body started shaking with the orgasm building up in your lower abdomen, his hold on your neck loose to let you breathe some more before he took it to the next level.
He ran his lips down your neck, sucking harshly as he lined his cock to your eager folds, your expression blissful and your entrance so wet, it made it easy for him to bottom out, “so fucking pretty,” he groaned out.
His voice strained as he started fucking you into your mattress, his power was evident with how precise and hard his thrusts were. It was a lifetime opportunity for you, and you wished to savour every second of it as you wrapped your legs around his slender waist, pulling him even closer and deeper in your pussy.
He hit your spot over and over again, “cream my cock like a good girl, baby,” he rasped out, his own orgasm approaching.
You couldn’t hold back anymore, with his fingers still gripping your neck, the lack of air was evident but it somehow made you feel as if you were floating with unadulterated bliss around you as you finally reached your state of euphoria, coming undone on his cock, exactly when he filled you up with his cum, mixing it with yours as he emptied himself in you.
You whined when he pulled back, getting dressed after draining you, “you’re leaving?” You asked, frowning.
“Gotta save the world now, pretty,” he whispered, removing his webs from your wrists before pecking your lips and rushing out of the window, leaving you dazed.
Maybe making the poster wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
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THANK YOU FOR READING!
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peachesofteal · 3 months
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Simple Math / Part Eleven
Simple Math masterlist
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Ghost/Soap/female reader 6k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Graphic depiction of domestic violence. This fic contains mature themes. Mention of pregnancy. Nurse!reader, hospital setting, medical inaccuracies. Bun is in pain, goes to a doctor. Dissociation. Lots of despair, fear, anxiety. The 141 reunites. Nightmares. Comfort. Tenderness. Angst. Welcome home.
“Knock knock.”
“Bunny.” Johnny murmurs, lifting an arm, urging you close, a moon to a tide.
“Hi.” You bend, moving into the hug, pressing your face to his neck for a quick second before straightening.
“I miss ye.” You survey him, glancing at the monitor, the brace on his leg and hip, the disconnected fluid line. He’s doing well. You’re so relieved to see it with your own eyes, ribs rattling with a long exhale. Satisfied, you smile, tension bleeding from your spine. 
“Simon says you’re terrorizing your night nurse.”
“Am not. She’s jus’ not gentle, or quiet. Wakes me up.”
“That’s her job.” He scoffs, waving you off. You settle in the chair at his side, and he takes your hand in his, lifting it to his lips, dotting kisses across your knuckles. His affection is freeing, sweet and easy, a warm breeze on a spring day. It overflows your heart with warmth until you think it might spill over, and you go with it, following his lead, even though your better judgement, the girl in the mirror, wails.
“Ye look good. Better. Swellin’ gone down?” He cradles your chin, turning your face from left to right, inspecting with a crystal-clear sapphire gleam.
“Yeah, my shoulder is still sore but… yeah. I feel better.”
“’m glad. Simon keepin’ ye off yer feet all day then?”
“Oh my god.” You laugh. “He keeps telling me to lay down. Or asking if I want to take a nap.” Johnny chuckles.
“Sounds right. He’s a bit o’ a mother hen, that one. He cares though, we both do.”
“I know.” You squeeze his hand. “And I missed you too.”
“He said ye an’ him had a nice chat the other night?” Your cheeks burn. Oh god. Did he… “I’m a wee bit jealous.” He complains, turning his nose up and away in a mock pout, and you roll your eyes.
You laid in bed all night and thought about these moments. Thought about Simon’s mouth on yours, his hand on your ass, squeezing and stroking. You thought about how he tasted, how he smelled, the way he looked at you, like you were a part of their world, a piece of them.
And you thought about Johnny. Johnny alone here, Johnny trapped in the hospital, healing, unable to leave or even get out of bed. How anxious he must be, being separated from his family, how frustrating it is to spend so long trying to get better.
You wanted to give him something. Wanted to make him feel better, see him smile.
Here goes nothing. 
Leaning, standing, you dip into his orbit, lightly bumping your noses together. It takes no time until his good hand is around the back of your neck, crashing your mouth into his, and he breathes you in, holding you steady, tongue and teeth and lips swirling together in a ubiquitous, overwhelming haze. He tastes like summer rain, the feeling in the air before a giant storm, electric and blazing, brilliant glow transferring between the two of you, lightning striking a mountaintop. He nips your bottom lip, heat flooding your stomach, and you pull away slowly, his eyes jeweled and shimmering, brilliantly blue.
“Bunny,” You try to swallow a quiet giggle and fail. “I’ll have to tell ye I’m jealous more often.”
“Don’t take advantage.” You playfully scold.
“Me? Take advantage?” He pretends to be outraged, voice piquing higher, and you laugh again. “How can I take advantage when ‘m the one stuck here in this bed while ye two are at home, playin’ house, takin’ couch naps and gettin’ butt rubs. No one cares about Johnny, no-“
“Shhh.” You press your lips to his, silencing him, remaining in the kiss that’s long and soft and saccharine. He sneaks his tongue back between your teeth, mischievous and wild, every bit the man you’re drawn to, an attraction you can’t fight.
“Well.” Simon clears his throat from the doorway, brows raised, mask snug. “Hope I’m not interrupting.” You don’t know why, but you fly backwards, nearly stumbling, cheeks on fire. You feel like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t, and that feeling, the pit in the bottom of your stomach, is all too reminiscent.
It frightens you.
“Whoa, hey.” Johnny tries to snag a finger around your wrist, but you step out of the way.
“It’s alright.” Simon moves inside fully, clicking the door shut behind him. “You’re not in trouble. Nothing is wrong, I was just kidding. That’s my fault.” You shake your head.
He’s not mad. Johnny is fine. Everything is fine. 
You’re overreacting. You’re making a mess of this. 
You shouldn’t even be doing this in the first place. What’re you doing? Who are you kidding? 
“I’m s-sorry.” You stammer, hands wringing together anxiously.
“Ye dinnae have anything to be sorry about.” Johnny protests, still trying to reach for you.
Get it together. You have to get it together. 
You close your eyes.
Deep breath. In and out. You can do it. Just breathe. 
It works. You’re steadier, and you meet their watchful gazes as your eyes open.  
“You okay?” Simon murmurs, moving very slowly to the other side of the bed where you’re standing, like he’s approaching a spooked, scared, wild animal.
“Yeah. Sorry. Just… had a moment. I’m fine.” Not entirely true, but that’s alright. You feel a little unsteady, a little unnerved, and Johnny frowns.
“Ye should sit.”
“I’m fine.”
“Bunny, please. For me?” He bats his eyelashes, and you want to groan.
But you lower yourself in the chair all the same.
Quiet falls over the room. It’s awkward and stiff, and you curse yourself for ruining the moment.
“Hey.” Simon soothes, reading your mind. “Hey, you’re alright. Everything is fine.” You nod, unsettled. He squeezes your good shoulder and dips past you, leaning to press a gentle kiss to Johnny’s brow, before dotting his nose and pushing their lips together. Their kiss is long, languid touch melting away to expose their connection, trust and love on full display. Delicate and rare, their affection makes your heart flutter, pulchritudinous whispers given to one another as Simon holds Johnny’s hand, stroking a familiar pattern into his skin, something similar to the way he touches you. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Wish they’d let me out of this bloody bed.” Johnny grumbles. You clear your throat.
“They’re waiting on your wrist. Once your wrist can support your weight on crutches, then you’ll be able to start PT and be released.”
“Ach. I know.” He’s frustrated, it’s clear. You know it’s not easy, being here, being separated, stuck in a hospital.
“It won’t be too long.” You try to reassure him, and he nods, still a little forlorn. “Here,” you stand with a burst of confidence, knocking his arm with the back of your hand as a direction, “scooch over.”
His eyes light. Simon laughs.
You fold yourself onto the edge of the bed, turned on your side, curled along where he’s the least banged up, careful of the sensitive graft lurking beneath his hospital gown.
“There. That better?” His good arm wraps around you carefully, settling on your ribs, a thumb tracing the wrinkle of your shirt.
“Aye, much better.” Your knees are bent, and cool air ghosts over your lower back, where your shirt has ridden up and exposed your skin. You shiver.
“Cold?” Simon murmurs, and you nod. He’s close, hovering, pulling a blanket up from the end of the bed to cover both you and Johnny. He tucks it around the two of you carefully and leans forward, pulling his mask down again to brush his lips across Johnny’s brow.
You watch in a daze. They don’t speak, but there’s something happening between them, something being said in their eyes as Simon holds his face briefly, and Johnny nods.
They both look to you, your bottom lip caught between teeth.
“Want one too?” Simon hums, cupping the back of your head. “Here.” He kisses you, lingering in it, heat of his naked mouth still a shock to your system.
Johnny is beaming, and cuddles you as close as possible, cheek resting atop your forehead.
They make you dizzy. All of it feels like some kind of dream, a world impossible, a fantasy suddenly turned real life. You’re on the verge of spinning out of control inside it, losing yourself.
It doesn’t help that everything you’ve done over these last few years, this identity, this life, the work that went into hiding and planning and saving and scraping, trying to stay unseen and unnoticed-
Was all for nothing.
“Bunny?” Johnny whispers, bringing you back to them. Simon is settled in the recliner, the same one from the ICU room, but his arm is stretched past your head, fingers playing idly in Johnny’s very long mohawk.
“Sorry. I’m here.”
“Where did ye go?” He tightens his hold, and you snuggle in closer, hiding away from everything bearing down on you, the pain and the panic and the doubt. You hide your face from it, refuse to acknowledge it, desperately trying to stay in this moment, hoping to just be… be here with them. In the sun.
“Nowhere.”  
A day passes. Then another, and another, and another. Your face nearly looks normal, puffiness and swelling practically gone, and your neck aches less and less with each passing day.
Your shoulder, on the other hand, is a problem.
It never stops hurting. You struggle to get your arm through your shirts, can barely lift it, can't pick anything up, and it’s so sore, tender, and stiff, like it’s been dislocated or worse, broken. You’re worried, worried about going back to work without a full range of motion, worried about being in pain.
Worried about being even more permanently damaged than you already are.
Just another tally mark. Just another thing you must live with now, a permanent remnant of him, a forever reminder of just how foolish you really are.
You’re weak. You’re stupid. You’re damaged. 
The pain breaks you down. It prevents you from sleeping, keeps you twisting and turning through a roil of dark dreams. It depresses you, sinks its teeth into your flesh and gnaws on the pieces touched by the sun, the parts of your heart still beating, somehow.
It reminds you of everything you’re desperate to forget.
It all comes crashing down one morning. The despair. The helpless feeling brewing in your stomach. The loneliness. It keeps you there, in bed, in agony, past breakfast.
It keeps you there, until you hear the creak of the stairs, a firm knock.
“I’m coming in.” Simon advises, trying the door, cracking it enough to stick his head through.
You’re crumpled in the middle of the mattress, pillows strewn about from trying to find a comfortable position, tears already dried. Your shoulder hurts so bad, and you don’t know why, don’t know why it’s not getting better, not healing.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” He sits at your side, hand resting on your hip, inspecting the worry lines, the frown tugging at your lips. “What’s going on?” Guilt swamps you.
“It’s nothing, my shoulder just kept me up, so I’m a little tired. That’s all.” You paste on your work smile, forced and believable, but he only shakes his head.
“Don’t do that.” He thumbs your brow. “I think you should see a doctor.”
“N-no.” You can’t. He doesn’t understand. They’ll want to take x-rays. X-rays lead to questions. 
He never takes you at face value. Always pushing. Always digging, looking you over. “Why not?”
“It’s… it’s not necessary. I’m fine, it’s probably just a deep bruise.”
“You’d be experiencing less pain if that was the case.” You raise an eyebrow. He shrugs. “I know a little bit. We all have basic medic training, and I’ve been reading up, for when Johnny gets home.” He pats your hip. “Let’s make you an appointment.” You shake your head.
“No!” It’s too sharp, too insistent, and he freezes. You wince. “I’m sorry. It’s just-“
“You can’t go to a doctor.” He finishes, like he knows. “Tell me why, sweetheart.” You take a shaky breath.
You can’t. You shouldn’t. 
Sunlight taps against the iron that’s encrusted around your heart. It knocks, wanting to be let in. It searches for weakness, places of opportunity, slivers of space where it can find its way.
Your mouth starts moving before you give it permission, like it knows this is where you’re headed, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how deeply the survivor’s logic is ingrained in your brain.
“It… it’s not safe.”
“It creates a trail.” He surmises, and you nod. For a wild moment, you wonder if he’s a plant. If they’re a trap, designed to get you to lower your guard, fabricated to encourage you to trust, to love, just so the jaws of Philip’s cruelty can close around you at the most opportune moment.
They wouldn’t. They’re not. You’re being ridiculous. You’re paranoid. 
“We’ll make it under my name. Our primary is service member focused, and very discreet. You’ll be safe.” He makes it hard to argue, even though you want to. You should.
“I- I don’t know.”
“I can’t stand to see you in pain like this.” He rebukes, and then smiles softly, eyes lighting up. “Besides, I’m going to need your help. Johnny’s coming home on Friday.”
“He is?” You push upward. “Really?”
“Really.” He’s beaming, radiant sunshine spilling from his lips, and it makes you emotional, seeing him so happy, so weightless. “He passed a strength test on his wrist this morning. He needs a few days of PT in hospital, and then he can do it outpatient. His care team has signed off, and he’s ready.”
“Oh my god, that’s great!”
“It is. But I want both of you on the mend, not just one. Please.” It doesn’t take much more for you to concede, unable to find an excuse or a good enough reason, one he’s not able to combat.
“Alright, I guess.”
“Simon. Good to see you.” The doctor extends his hand and Simon shakes it readily, keeping his body positioned between you and the physician, one hand still on your knee.
He’s had a hand on you for the last half hour. You’ve been rattling on the exam table, shifting and fretful, disquieted energy spilling forth since he coaxed you into the car this morning.
“Dr. Fitch.”
“This is my patient?” He motions to you, and Simon stands to the side, concentrating, eyes focused above the mask. You give your name, and the provider repeats it with a warm smile.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Fitch.” You raise your good arm to shake his hand, and he pulls the rolling stool underneath him, taking a seat opposite Simon at your knee.
A warm palm flexes at your lower back. It’s soothing, comforting.  
I’m here, it says. You’re safe.
“Simon says you’ve been having some shoulder pain?”
“Yeah, I had… I had an injury. Thought there was some soft tissue damage, maybe some minor bruising, but the pain is too persistent.”
“Mind if I take a look?” He points to the side you’re clearly favoring.
“Sure.” It’s not comfortable, to have another man’s hands on you outside of your job. There’s no trust there, no familiarity like there is with Simon and Johnny, and your body knows it, practically vibrating as he walks his fingers up your scapula. Simon stays close, still with a hand at your back, watching intently.
Dr Fitch holds your elbow, and slowly lifts your arm until you’re telling him to stop, pins and needles radiating through your shoulder and up your neck.
“I think we need an x-ray so we can really see what’s going on.” Your fingers curl, nails digging into your palm. 
Fuck.  
“I… I think I just need a sling, or an immobilizer for a few weeks. Give it some time to heal.” You try to protest, but he shakes his head.
“I can’t be sure of any of that, without an x-ray.” Oh god. You think you might throw up.
He’s right, though. You know he’s right. You know no good provider in their right mind would sign off on a treatment plan without knowing the extent of an injury. He’s not going to let you dictate what you need.
“Bun.” Simon murmurs, and you blow out a rough breath.
“Okay, fine.”
Dr. Fitch is grim when he reappears almost an hour later, throwing the films up for both you and Simon to see.
You spot what’s soured him immediately, and there’s a sharp intake of breath behind you, the tell-tale sign of Simon noticing it too.
“This side of your body has seen a lot of trauma.” The doctor says gently. He’s not unkind, but still clinical. The kind of provider you’d like you work with, you think. “These old injuries, your clavicle, acromion, even this break in your ulna, make your scapula a very delicate part of your body. I think an MRI would show a fair amount of cartilage damage in these areas.” He motions around your joint, and you close your eyes.
You can’t do this. 
If Dr. Fitch sees your unease or panic, he pushes past it. “You have a rotator cuff tear. The good news is, it’s not surgical. I recommend physical therapy for injuries like these, along with activity modification and lots of rest. I want to do a corticosteroid injection for your pain as well. Today, if you’d like. You’ll need to rest your arm for twenty-four hours afterwards, make sure you’re not lifting anything or moving it…” He continues, but you lose track, lose focus, staring at the vinyl tile, weird grey and pink and green patterns all worked together to make some of the ugliest floor you’ve ever seen.
You zone out. Lose yourself. The films mock you, their ugly, horrific images hanging you out to dry, showcasing the truth, the reminders you’ll never be able to escape.
The pieces of you, changed permanently.
It’s hard to look at. Hard to think of.
You’d rather be considering survival. Counting your cash and researching new places to live. New communities to disappear inside, a new life to assume.
It’s easier to run.
You can’t look at Simon. Can't bear the shame. Can't believe he's seeing this, your nightmares on display. 
You keep your eyes fixed on the wall.
The girl in the mirror is falling apart. She despises being confronted with your failings, your weakness, the results of your stupidity.
It’s far less common now, these mistakes. These slip ups.
But before… before… they indulged Philip in a beautiful game of cat and mouse. You made it fun, made it exciting. A wolf with his prey. Playing with his food before he eats. Before he strings it up and breaks its collarbone because he likes to hear it scream.
Simon is talking to the provider, asking questions, receiving answers. You can barely hear him. You’re underwater.
The only thing that tethers you to the earth is the hand on your back, the warm, gentle, broad, grounding pressure.
There’s more conversation, and then Dr. Fitch is vacating the room.
Is it time to go? 
You try to stand on autopilot, but Simon holds you steady.
“We’re going to do the steroid, for your pain.” He drifts into your line of sight, pulling the mask down. “Bunny, look at me.”
When you can’t, he follows your gaze.
The films come off the wall within the next second, ripped down by the long reach of his arm.
Gone. 
“I have to go.” You whisper.
“You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to get this injection, and then I’m going to take you home and put you to bed.”
He doesn’t understand your meaning. 
Or maybe he does. 
Home. The word rings in your ears like a punch. It’s like you’ve been hit with it, burned with it.
Home. 
He’s not forceful, but you still feel the pressure, the insistence. You expect to rail against him. To cower.
Instead, you slip inside it. Allow him to tell you what to do, to make the decision. You fall easily into him, and he holds your hand through it all, while the injection site is swabbed, when the needle goes in. He holds your hand out to the car, holds your hand as he buckles you in. He holds your hand as he tucks you into a bed larger and softer than the one you've been sleeping in. It smells like him and Johnny, soft sheets and pillows piled around you like a wall, false sense of security building every time you twitch, testing where is he is, if he’s left yet.
The last thing you feel before you drift off to sleep is your hand, still in his.
You don't know how long you sleep. You sail in the darkness, navigating turbulent seas, waking every now and then, sometimes alone... sometimes not. 
The baby monitor blinks pale green, little circle fuzzy on the edge of your vision, appearing and disappearing throughout the day. 
Sometimes the bed is warm. Sometimes it's not. 
When it is, you seek him out on instinct, trying to crawl inside his ribs, frantic with your effort to hide, to run. He holds you through it, rocks you gently, tells you you're safe, says you don't have to be afraid anymore, he's here now. He'll take care of you. 
There's a rope around your ankle, tied too tight, tethered to the ocean floor. It drags you down, rips you away from him, fills your lungs and silences you. 
You didn't make it. 
All you can see behind closed lids is those films. All you can feel is the phantom ache in your limbs, the remnants of a shadow, still living and breathing inside of you. 
The girl in the mirror is silent. Nothing to say for once in her life, she weeps like her chest is being carved open, sobs and screams pouring out in a flood. 
I know you'll be here when I get back, won't you?
The house is vibrant today.
Lou has been here, stocking the fridge, precooking some meals, and her husband is helping Simon rearrange the living room, moving pieces of the couch to be more accessible, laughing back and forth quietly. Occasionally, he stops into the kitchen where you’re seated next to Pen in her highchair, checking in, but never encroaching.
He doesn’t get too close, right now. You’re still underwater somewhere, lost in a current. You’re here, but not really, silently drifting like a ghost, watching and waiting for something or someone to shake you out of it.
Simon hasn’t yet, but he’s watching. Always.
He’s intentionally careful, loud. Announcing himself everywhere he goes in the house, telling you everything he’s doing.
You didn’t understand why at first. Didn’t realize you hadn’t spoken in eight hours, and then ten, then twelve.
Trapped in a tomb of yourself, locked away with the girl in the mirror.
Guilt burns like a wildfire.
This should be a happy time. A wonderful time. 
But all you’re doing is making a mess of their life.  
Lou, thankfully, doesn’t push you either. She’s content to let you sit there, next to Pen. She keeps an eye out, glancing over at you occasionally, but your placating smiles seem to satisfy her.
Simon steps in front of the counter, ducking his head down to catch your eyes. “I’m going to pick Johnny up.” Somewhere, in the pits of hell, excitement blooms. Happiness tries to sprout. “Do you want to come?” Definitely not. They’ll certainly clap him out, and there’s no way you can be there for that. 
“No, I’m… okay.”
“Okay. Penny is coming with me, but John and Lou are staying here. Kyle is coming by. If Johnny’s feeling up to it, I’m hoping to do dinner all together.” Acid is tossed around, tempestuous in your stomach. Lou smiles around his side.
“Want to watch something while we wait?”
“Sure.” She disappears down the hall, saying something to John, and Simon slowly pulls Pen from her chair, kissing her cheek and nose before cradling her to his chest. She’s not a small baby, but in his hold, she’s tiny, soft and delicate, content in her dad’s arms, still a little sleepy from her afternoon nap. 
“We’ll be back soon.” He whispers, turning to go.
Your hand whips forward instinctively, out of control.
It latches onto his.
“Simon. I’m… I’m sorry.” You’re sorry you’re ruining everything. You’re sorry you’re fucked up beyond belief, you’re sorry he had to see all that in the doctor’s office, you’re sorry, you’re sorry, you’re sorry. 
He squeezes. “Shhh, hey. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He shifts, still holding Penny, but stooping down to crouch at your knees, his own popping with effort. “It’s okay, if you have to go somewhere else for a little while up there, as long as you're not lost in it.” He motions to your head. “Nothing has changed. We’re still right here, everything is alright. Huh, Penny girl?” He bounces her, and she shrieks out a giggle, reaching for his face. He kisses her hands like he’s trying to eat them, rumble in his voice making her squeal, and he catches your faint smile. “There she is.” He kisses your forehead. “We’ll be back soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
You hear Johnny before you see him.
There’s a scrape of crutches, his voice animated, talking to his baby, Penny giggling wildly outside on the walk. Lou and John exchange a comfortable smile, and she manages to get the door open before Simon can get his key in the lock.
“Welcome home!” She exclaims, and Penny squeaks, clapping excitedly. She’s wriggly, wanting to get down immediately upon crossing the threshold, but Simon holds her firm, turned around so Lou can snap their picture.
“Ach, Price, can ye do somethin’-“ Johnny laments, but the captain only laughs and looks on.
“Hey! Come on, you’ll want this, later. I promise. Look over here.” They’re picture perfect, Penny cradled between them, Johnny’s hair moved out of his face, his posture a little slouched because of his hip and leg. His head rests on Simon’s shoulder, an arm stretched across his middle, right under Penny, who glows from her perch, the center of attention.
An ache unfurls in the middle of your chest, a sore spot, growing, spreading through your body.
They’re so lovely, it hurts. This moment is beautiful, a homecoming, a story of survival and perseverance. Johnny’s strength and determination. Doing something you know a lot of people initially doubted.  
The dark spot of pain passes, fleeting.
Johnny’s eyes find yours. “Ye goin’ make me hobble all the way over there?” He teases, and you shake your head.
The two of you can only give half hugs, but you make it work, holding onto him, fingers fisted in the back of his shirt.
“Welcome home.” You whisper in his ear, and he pulls away, notching his forehead against yours. His eyes glitter, heavy, trembling breath filtering through his nose, and he kisses you slowly, so painfully slowly it’s like you’re the only one in the entire house, in the whole world.
“You too, bunny.”
Dinner is lively. Kyle arrives shortly before it’s time to sit down, greetings and warm wishes passed around as everyone gets settled, Penny positioned in highchair between the guys with mashed potatoes and peas already scooped onto her tray. Johnny’s on your left, with Lou on your right, and Simon sits at the head of the table, across from who you realize now, is his old, or kind of still, boss. 
He looks perfect there, half turned towards Pen and Johnny, radiantly smiling at his partner and daughter, trying again and again to catch your eye. Johnny's knee stays steady against yours, fingertips occasionally brushing your thigh, and the two of them try to draw you in, pull you towards them, over and over. 
Conversation flows easily. They’re all talking, laughing, swapping stories, poking at one another. Kyle tells you about a time he fell out of a helicopter, and they all tease Johnny about nearly dying this time, or a different time, you can’t be too sure.
“Ye jus’ wish ye had the natural ability I do.” He sniffs, and Kyle chortles, struggling to swallow his food.
“I’d probably be dead, mate.”
“’Cause ye cannae handle it!” He retorts, and Simon laughs, causing Penny to giggle too, and then the entire table erupts in it, attention redirected, cooing at the adorable girl with mashed potatoes smeared on her face. Johnny and Simon fuss over her, a perfect family in unison. 
There’s a whining, buzzing noise in the back of your head. It’s an off-key tenor, annoying and coarse, like the snag of rough skin texture against a soft sweater.
What are you doing here? 
The world, this room, these people, spin and spiral around you. Talking, laughing, loving. Making connections with each other, feeling the warmth of love and friendship, of happiness.
The buzzing gets louder.
You’re vaguely in it now, still seated but not here, not anywhere. You’re drifting, falling away, slipping behind walls and layers, hiding.
The girl in the mirror approves.
What makes you think you have any right to be here? What makes you think you could ever possibly belong here? With them? With their friends? Their family? 
You’re an intruder. 
You’re risking their safety. You’re making a mistake. 
Lou boasts a sharp laugh, and you nearly flinch.
You don’t belong here. You’re supposed to be alone. It was supposed to be okay, to be alone.
You’re selfish.
Simon reaches for Johnny’s hand, stretching across Penny’s spot, eyes heavy with love. There’s so much in his expression alone, dedication, devotion, borderline obsession bleeding through, and he holds Johnny like he’s holding his lifeline.
You’ll never be loved like that, known like that, cherished and protected… like that. 
And why should you be? 
You’re standing before you announce it, trying to hold yourself together. Both guys look to you, Simon’s expression changing from amusement and love to worry and concern, while Johnny mirrors it, and tries to grab your hand.
“Ye alright?”
“Bun?”
“I’m fine, just… uh. My stomach.” You lie, motioning away from the table, like it makes any sense. You excuse yourself quickly, apologizing, and practically run up the stairs.
The guest bathroom door locks, and you slide down against the tub, slumping over to rest your cheek on cold tile. “Fuck.” You whisper, rubbing at your cheeks. What is wrong with you?
You lay there long enough that your shoulder starts to hurt. Everything aches, your heart too, and wipe your cheeks over and over, trying to regain control of a sinking ship.
God, you really, really hope they aren’t mad you bailed. 
The bed is your only option, your only salvation, and you sink into without fuss, burying yourself beneath a pile of blankets, hiding yourself away from the world.
At least when you sleep, you can’t think.
At least when you sleep, you can’t feel.
“Philip, please.” 
“You made a fucking fool of me tonight.” He grips your upper arm so tight it feels like he’s cutting into your flesh, branding you, burning you down to the bone. 
“No, I- I wasn’t trying to, I swear.” 
“I think you were, spitfire. I think you wanted to see me sweat, didn’t you? Wanted to play a little game, huh?” 
“No!” you’re crying, chest heaving with giant sobs, and his fist tightens in your hair, dragging you down to the ground. “No, Philip, stop. Stop!” 
“Shut up.” You’re crawling on your knees, trying to keep pace, trying to stay in stride with him as he tugs, practically pulling you down the hallway to the bedroom. 
Once he gets there, he jerks you upwards. 
The hardwood floor is the next thing you see as your face crashes into it. 
“S-stop.” You’re barely audible, buried in sobs. He mocks you. 
“Stoooop, babe. Stop please.” Your arms cover your head, trying to protect your delicate bones there, your skull, your nose, your cheeks. 
His foot rears back. 
The world goes cold. 
“NO!” you jerk your knees up to your chest, rolling away. “No! I’m pregnant!” 
You think he’ll be happy. You think he’ll be pleased. 
Instead, it’s raw, concentrated fury you see lining his face, lightning and thunder gathering in his eyes. 
“You’re what?”
You come to trembling, coated in a cold sweat.
It’s okay. He’s not here. He’s not. You’re safe. 
You clasp a hand over your mouth to ward off the volume of the sob, nausea rising until you’re almost gagging.
It’s okay. 
You can do this. Get it together. 
Time ticks away, but the agony of your memory, your nightmare, doesn’t fade. It settles in your bones like a sickness, infecting your mind and heart, keeping you from closing your eyes.
You can’t go back there. Not in real life. Not in your dreams. Not ever.
You would die before that happened.
Johnny and Simon sleep down the hall. You wonder if they’re wrapped up together, if Johnny is comfortable, if their room is cozy and homey, bed heavenly and full of love.
You could… 
No. 
The clock on your phone reads three in the morning. You feel like you haven’t slept at all, but every time you try to close your eyes, dread spreads, tenebrous and sticky, clinging to every synapse in your logical brain.
You eye the door.
You could… 
Should you? Would they be mad? Would they welcome you? Would they even answer?
You don’t know how you convince yourself to do it, to drag your weak will down the hall and knock on their door, but you do. You’re a child the whole way, padding up to a parent’s room in the middle of the night, looking for salvation and sanctuary, desperate for comfort.
It takes almost no time after your timid little rap for the door to swing wide, Simon standing behind it, little lamp flicked on where Johnny is half sitting up, mostly still asleep, rubbing his eyes.
“Hi.” You whisper, distracted by Simon’s naked chest. He’s wearing sweatpants, but they’re slung low on his hips, soft tummy with wispy light brown hair peeking out above the drawstring. You think you’re staring, and you force a blink, trying to appear normal.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing, I just… I had a nightmare and…I… I can’t…” the rest doesn’t come out, laying heavy on your tongue, trying to organize itself so it doesn’t seem so intrusive, or weak.
He doesn’t make you feel bad. Or guilty. He doesn’t even ask, he just steps aside, motioning to bed, clicking the door shut behind him.
“Take the middle.” He whispers, and you crawl across the expanse, timidly smiling at Johnny, who’s still yawning. He’s got his bad leg and hip set up on a bunch of pillows, and the spot next to him is still warm.
“Hey pretty girl.”
“Hi.” He pats the empty space, shoving the blankets down to the best of his ability to let you get underneath them.
“Bad dream?” He drawls, slow and sleepy.
“Yeah.”
“C’mere.” He tries to tug you closer, but Simon scolds him softly.
“Johnny, easy. Your graft.” He turns, sliding, encouraging you to settle on your side, with him at your back. “There we go. That’s better, hm?” It is better. So much better. Warm and safe. Blocked in on either side by them, your hand resting on Johnny’s sternum, grounding yourself with the rise and fall of his breathing, Simon nestling you into his chest, heavy arm slung across your ribs to hold Johnny’s hand.
It's so nice, tucked between them like you belong there, things start to spiral a little bit, doubt and worry fueling a cycle of second guessing. You shift restlessly, and Simon rubs your hip, soothing whatever he senses amiss back to neutral, lips humming just above your ear. “Close your eyes, little bunny. We’re here. You’re safe.”
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