#like my family had to assimilate to survive and my mom wasnt taught spanish because it was about survival

[goldensparrows]

every so often i gotta remember that 330 in the fucking morning is Not the time to get angry and defensive about what online strangers are saying

#swear to god nobody hates hispanics more than other hispanics #thats obviously a hyperbole but it fuckin feels real #its always 'lol look at these no sabo ass mfers' and 'its your fault for not speaking spanish' #and its never 'how can we help you and support you' #i get these hispanic things recommended to me and its always so infuriating and upsetting to see all the comments that look down on us #and from other hispanics too #like my family had to assimilate to survive and my mom wasnt taught spanish because it was about survival #right now im Trying to learn spanish but as an adult with most of my family now in america its difficult to say the least #and even when we try we are mocked for not doing something right #which goes back to making us not want to learn #like im working my ass off to reclaim my identity because theres been such a disconnect for generations now bc of discrimination #OOOOOOOG i should not be getting emo about this at nearly 4 in the morning #its just. i have to be american enough to fit in with the society i find myself in. #and i also have to be mexican enough to conform to the expectations of my own ethnicity that sees me as Not Mexican Enough because of xyz #this is a lot of words but i needed to get it out there #im just really fucking exhausted of this phenomenon #saw a comment that was like 'people of german/dutch/italian/any european descent dont have to prove themselves like this So Why Do We' #man this really doesnt go well with the identity crisis i had this last week and all this introspectiveness going on with my minor #groaning loudly if anyone gets this far let alone even sees this: good for you and im so sorry #bri words