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readyplayerhobi · 3 years

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Jung Hoseok and the Magic to Happiness | 06 | End

; Hufflepuff Teacher!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

; Word Count: 7.5k

; Warnings: Penetrative sex, potion influence (? what’s the correct term here), unprotected sex (kinda), creampie, Hoseok licks his fingers...

; Synopsis: An unexpected issue with your Ministry of Magic job leads to you taking the role of Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts. It’s here that you meet your best friend’s younger brother for the first time in years, the Hufflepuff Head of House, Jung Hoseok. While you contend with seeing him once again, Hoseok tries to show you that he’s very much a man and no longer the gangly teenager you once knew.

; A/N: Final chapter! We’re finally here. I bet you didn’t think I’d actually finish this series, haha. Two series down though! SO...I’m very rusty with smut. I haven’t written it since like...October so please be gentle with me! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and have liked reading this series! Please reblog it so others can find it and send me comments/reviews/feedback via an ask or by reblogging this! :D I love to read them all and your support has helped to encourage me to keep going.

Last Chapter ;

Surprisingly, you don’t see Hoseok for a few days after the Winter Solstice Ball. He’s not present at any of the meals, nor do you see him around the castle either. It simultaneously confuses and concerns you as you worry that he’s feeling too awkward to be around you.

Seokjin, at a pre-Christmas meal at his house, had tried to confirm that he wasn’t avoiding you but instead was simply busy with preparing the magical creatures for the Christmas break. There were exchanges with other schools around the world that occurred at Christmas, meaning that Hoseok was constantly travelling with his creatures and taking custody of the foreign creatures which would be used for the next semester.

You’d viewed that with suspicion as you didn’t recall Hoseok nor Jisoo telling you that, but it did seem like a logical reason. Chaeyoung had backed the argument at the time, her mouth half full of roasted turkey. Given your suspicions about their involvement in trying to get Hoseok and you into a relationship had caused you to watch her suspiciously though.

It was only when Jimin, who had also been present for the meal, had confirmed it with a nod of his head that you’d finally believed them. As far as you knew, Jimin had no involvement and he’d genuinely fascinated with how close the two of you had been at the ball.

So even though it made you feel a little paranoid at his sudden absence after the kiss, you chose to trust your friends and believe what they said. You were already concerned about how to just interact with him when you saw him, you certainly didn’t need to obsess over the fact he ‘might’ be avoiding you.

Instead of letting your mind focus on that though, you instead throw yourself into any work you can do. The Christmas break sees most students gone and only a handful remaining behind. Some of those were because they wanted to continue studying or they didn’t want to leave their friends, others were because they didn’t have a stable home to go back to.

It made your heartache to know that some of your students had such poor home lives but it wasn’t something you could do anything about. Instead, you help to organise visits to Hogsmeade for the students so they can get to enjoy some of their break by just having fun and experiencing some of the Christmas cheer.

You’d also got through all the essays that you had to mark and the first month of the new semester had already been carefully planned out for when the students all returned. This meant that you’d done nearly all your work though and there were only so many books you could read without getting bored.

So you offered your services to the other professor’s who had remained behind, figuring that you could help them out while also reducing your boredom. This is why you were currently in the potion storeroom doing a stocktake; recording how many of each ingredient was left, if there were any that were running low or had run out completely, what potions were stored away and how much of each one.

It wasn’t the most interesting job but it helped to take your mind off things and you felt a little useful at least. You’d only been doing it for half-an-hour before you’d quickly realised why no one liked to do this job, though. The storeroom was bigger than it initially appeared and contained multiple shelving units, with each shelf packed full of ingredients, potions and spare potion-making ingredients.

There was a stale smell to the air which mingled with the faint remnants of potions that had been created in the many cauldrons that littered the room. Alongside that, there was so much dust in the room that you genuinely wondered if anyone used this place. Whilst you weren’t one to advocate using magic for stuff that you could just do by hand, there was no reason to not just do a quick cleaning spell in here.

Then again, you’ve never been amazing at potions so maybe that kind of spell might do something to one of the ingredients. So you just carry on, occasionally sneezing whenever you cause a small dust cloud to appear.

You end up so in the zone that you don’t hear the door open and close, nor the soft footfalls of someone walking in closer. This means you shriek in surprise when you hear your name in a familiar, low voice. Jerking forwards, you knock into the shelves in front of you and wince at the sound of glass hitting each other as bottles wobble dangerously.

“Shit!” Cursing, you miss the bottle with a mother-of-pearl sheen that teeters from the top shelf dangerously. Hoseok, obviously concerned with how he’d surprised you, rushes forward to help stabilise the bottles that are on the verge of smashing all around you.

As he grabs one that’s rolling towards the edge, you reach out to stop another one at the exact moment the top bottle drops. It hits your hand hard, bouncing before hitting the shelving unit and shattering. The potion inside splatters all over you, Hoseok and the shelf. Spiralled steams immediately begin to rise from where it impacts and you vaguely remember that amortentia looks like this.

But then you’re cursing loudly, sputtering as you get a mouthful of it. Without meaning to, you swallow it all and cringe as you feel it slide down your throat. The sound of Hoseok choking causes you to look over and you realise he’s got a mouthful of it as well, his face pinched as he sticks his tongue out from the taste of it.

“What was that?” He asks, blinking rapidly before wiping away what has splashed onto his face. For such a small bottle, it had managed to almost everywhere and even some stray strands of his hair were wet; steam rising slowly.

“If I remember my potions correctly...amortentia.” You say, lips twisting as you stare up at the top of the unit. Why this potion had been stored up there was beyond you as there was nothing else up there but dust. At least no other bottles had broken.

“Ah,” He muses before pausing, eyes widening as something clicks in his head. “Wait, isn’t that the love potion thing?”

“It doesn’t cause people to fall in love. If you remember back to your own potions lessons, no potion is capable of causing true love. Instead, it causes intense infatuation or obsess-oh…” Now your own eyes widen as you stare directly into Hoseok’s, warmth curling within your gut and rushing through your veins until your whole body feels hot.

Almost instantly, the two of you look away from each other. Coughing awkwardly, you shift to the other side of the storeroom, a hand pressed to your cheeks in a futile effort to cool them. Instead, they just feel even warmer.

What happened if two people took it? Especially if those two people already liked each other anyway? Did it just negate itself?

The slow burn within you said no and you let out a shaky breath, resting your forehead against the cool wood of the unit next to you.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me coming in...I wasn’t being quiet or anything.” Hoseok mutters and you glance over, noting the rosy pink gracing the apples of his cheeks. You wonder if it’s because he feels embarrassed or if it’s because he’s experiencing the same, intense feelings that you are.

Inhaling deeply, you tried to calm yourself only to realise that all you could smell was Hoseok. His scent was so strong that it was like he was standing right next to you instead of being on the other side of the room. Almost immediately, you knew it was the potion.

From what you remembered, amortentia caused those feelings for whoever administered it. Considering neither you nor Hoseok had been the one to serve it, you would’ve thought that it would just negate itself. Instead, it seems to have decided that you’ve both administered it to each other.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I was too deep into my work,” Giving him a nervous laugh, you try to reassure him so he doesn’t get too worried that he’s done something wrong. “How come you’re here? I haven’t seen you in days.”

“Err, yeah...sorry. I’ve been really busy. I forgot to tell you that we usually start doing magical creature exchanges around Christmas to help educate our students on foreign creatures while also allowing other nations to learn about our creatures. It’s been a little hectic as I’ve been exchanging hippogriff’s, bowtruckles and nifflers with Castelobruxo in Brazil. Which as you can imagine has been a little stressful because I think I’ve almost lost about six niffler’s and almost lost a hand to one of the hippogriff’s.” He turns away from you to tidy up some of the shelves, missing your sigh of relief as you realise everyone has been right.

He hadn’t been avoiding you.

“I’m finished now though, for the moment. It took me longer than I liked as the fire slugs we got from Castelobruxo have been continuously burning their cages but I have that completely fixed now. I thought that I’d come to find you as we haven’t talked in a few days and I got told you were here. So...here I am.” Giving you a weak smile, Hoseok turns to look at you while shrugging.

He looks slightly uncomfortable now; a sheen on his golden tan skin while his face looks redder than normal. His hands grasp at nothing on his sides and you find yourself hyper fixated on them. Have you ever really noticed how long and slender his fingers are?

Almost immediately, you imagine those fingers somewhere else and almost moan out loud as you clench inner muscles around nothing. Was this a normal side effect of amortentia? You didn’t know what was happening and you weren’t the best at potions so this was all foreign to you.

At least you’d come to terms with the fact that you were attracted to him and would like to perhaps try a relationship. Otherwise, this would’ve been even more awkward. Not that he knew that yet, which is probably why he’s looking a little distressed.

You don’t feel that it’s the best moment to blurt that out though. Sure, it would reduce any uncomfortableness between you both but was it a good idea to admit you find him attractive too when you’re both suffering the effects of amortentia?

Probably not.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. A few of the others told me that you’d be busy doing this. I didn’t even know that magical creature exchange was a thing!” Cheerfully, you smile at him when he glances at you.

“Still, I should have told you. I’m really sorry.” He mumbles, reaching out to gently brush a scratchy pouch idly. His insistence at apologising causes you to smile and shake your head amused at how genuinely remorseful he is that he’d forgotten to tell you this one thing.

“Honestly, it’s fine. It’s your job, don’t say sorry for doing your job, okay? You’re a great caretaker for the magical creatures and I’m not surprised you forgot to mention it to me. I don’t tell you stuff about my job all the time because you don’t need to know it! So don’t stress.” Reaching for the checklist that you’d been running through earlier, you note down the broken amortentia potion with a small reprimand for the untidy storeroom.

As such, you don’t see the way Hoseok’s face twists as he forces himself to remain quiet.

The two of you remain silent for the next five minutes or so with you attempting to carry on counting the ingredients and potions on the shelves while Hoseok merely lingers in the background. He was so cute.

It would have been a comfortable silence between you both, like you always had with him, if not for the lingering awkwardness of the untalked kiss and the flaring desire of the potion. Shifting awkwardly, your thighs squeeze together in an attempt to relieve some pressure. It doesn’t work and you have to stifle a groan at the small sharp jolt of pleasure.

“Merlin,” Hoseok whispers, causing you to open your eyes and look over at him. His face is even more flushed and you note a slight sheen to his skin as if he’s too hot. If he’s even remotely as warm as you are then it’s entirely understandable and you wonder what you look like to him.

Blowing out a breath, he attempts to fan his face before pinching some of his shirt and pulling at it to get some cooler air. You can tell it doesn’t work because you’ve been subconsciously doing that for the last minute and all it’s done is cause you to imagine Hoseok’s lips brushing along your chest instead of the poor imitation of a breeze.

What finally tipped you over the edge to deciding you’d done enough counting today was yet another glance over to Hoseok. His tall and lithe form has been almost hidden beneath his robes all this time, but an uncomfortable shift causes him to reveal more of his body.

You weren’t normally such a blatant person but you couldn’t help the way your eyes drag down his body, taking in every crease in his crisp white button-up. The key moment that told you to get out of the room now was when your eyes trailed even further below, taking in the leather of his belt.

And the obvious tent in his trousers.

Swallowing so hard that you choke, you quickly move towards the door. The rush of blood throbbing in your ears drowns out Hoseok’s call of surprise, your focus solely on getting out of the overwhelmingly hot room.

The room with the man you’d very recently had decided you were attracted to both romantically and sexually. Not a good combo when you were almost burning from within with lust for him, especially when you know he’s turned on right now.

Running a hand down your face as you rush through the corridors, you can’t stop the quiet groan that leaves your mouth as you do so. Your clothes feel too tight for your body, almost suffocating and the aching need for fingers or something more between your legs is becoming unbearable.

“Y/N, wait!” Finally, Hoseok’s voice breaks through, causing you to falter as you almost pause. Even shouting, his voice is low and sends shivers through your body. A tiny whine escapes and you push forwards, almost jogging now in your effort to get back to your quarters.

Maybe a shower would get rid of this. A very cold shower, or a cold bath. You’d make a potion to counteract it but you’re nowhere near good enough to combat an advanced potion like that.

As your door finally comes into view, and for a moment you marvel at how fast you’ve managed to move from the dungeons that house the potions classroom and the store you’d been working into your quarters.

Not quite fast enough though as Hoseok’s long legs finally let him catch up, his hand reaching out and gently grasping at your arm. He’s touching you through multiple layers of clothing and yet your skin is almost burning, the desire to have him against your bare skin stronger than ever.

You get the feeling that he’s experiencing the same as he suddenly retracts his hand, almost as if he’d burned it and lets out a hiss. The sound is sibilant and low, his breath escaping him quick and you feel a strong urge to hear it once more.

Still, he doesn’t let his surprise or shock stop him. A look at his face shows you that his expression is a mix of concern and worry beneath the flushed cheeks of lust and glassy eyes of desire.

“I’m sorry, did I do something? I didn’t mean to if I did. Please don’t run away from me!” He begs, one hand moving out towards you almost like it has a mind of its own. The way he looks at it, with a scowl like it’s doing something wrong, almost makes you laugh as you can understand his frustration.

You’ve had to stop yourself from reaching out to him at least twice now.

Instead, you give him a tense smile and try to ignore the fact that he’s standing a little awkwardly. It takes far more effort than you’d like to not look down because you know it’s because he has an erection that is probably uncomfortable. Something he likely doesn’t want to bring attention to.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. I promise. I just...I just needed to get out of that room, you know.” You let your words trail off awkwardly, fidgeting with your hands and trying desperately not to look at his crotch. As usual, though, the temptation to look was made all the stronger by your knowledge that you couldn’t just ogle his groin openly.

“Ah...yeah, er, right. It was quite...quite warm.” He pauses in his sentence though, looking a little conflicted and you follow where his eyes are staring. Right down to your chest, which is currently covered by a soft, cream-coloured jumper that you’d happily pulled on this morning.

It feels more than a little stifling right now though.

As soon as he registers where he’s looking, he sputters and starts to resemble a tomato. An absurdly handsome, tall tomato. The longer you let your thoughts linger there then the more stupid they begin to become.

Still, his blatant want fuels your potion addled senses and you start to speak without thinking.

“Do you like me? Romantically and sexually, you know? I’m pretty sure you do. I’m sorry that I didn’t realise, I’m dumb apparently. I know you’ve been trying to subtly tell me for ages now but I finally did! And I liked our kiss and I really want to do it again. Actually, I wanna do more than kiss you-” Hoseok cuts you off by reaching out for your hand, his fingers slightly calloused but still so damn soft.

And hot against you.

“Yes. I like you, a lot. More than you probably realise. I just didn’t want to push you or make you feel awkward-” Now it’s your turn to interrupt him, twisting your fingers until you can thread them through Hoseok’s.

A slight tug has him following you with wide eyes, the door to your classroom being pushed open and closed as soon as he’s inside. Without another word, you push him up against the wood while grasping at his shirt to tug him closer.

Your lips connect with ease and this time, it’s nothing like the previous kiss. Where that was chaste, this had the flames of lust burning deep within and you moaned out as Hoseok licked into your mouth, stoking that heat within you even further.

Pressing yourself to his body, you let one hand trail along his shirt and sigh as you finally get to confirm that he is exactly as lean and toned as you’d initially thought. Your touch causes him to shiver, breaking away from your lips to press open-mouthed kisses to your jawline almost desperately.

“Hoseok,” Whispering into his ear, you let your other hand run your fingers through his hair before tugging on some of the black strands. “Ah, please.”

You’re not sure what you’re asking him but you don’t care either. Anything he can give you, you’ll take.

His fingertips scorch your skin as he lets them dance over your waist, slipping beneath your jumper with a hunger he can only show. As he does so, he captures your mouth once more and kisses you with such passion and strength that you’re momentarily left breathless.

Trying to kiss him back with equal fervour while your fingers move to unbutton his shirt, losing grip on them as you refuse to move away to look down. It causes him to laugh into it, the sound pleasant and light, before he gently pushes your hands away.

Pulling away from the kiss, he presses his forehead against your own and gives a breathy smile. Glassy eyes and dilated pupils greet you while his breath hits your skin with each puff as he tries to centre himself. And then he almost looks sad; his brow creasing and the corners of his lips turning down.

“We shouldn’t...not like this. I...I really want, oh fuck I want you so bad. But this wasn’t how I imagined...you deserve better. More romantic or some-” Reaching up, you gently place a finger on his lips to quiet him. He does so instantly and you’re pleased that he doesn’t look annoyed at your interruption.

“It’s not what I imagined either but I’m not turning it down. If anything, I’m glad that potion is helping to bolster my confidence because I doubt I’d have got the courage to do anything. So, please, don’t worry about me. I want you and I’m fully aware of myself. All that potion is doing is bolstering my feelings.” You hadn’t known if that was something he was worried about and you wanted to soothe any fears he might have.

It’d be understandable because part of you is also worried that he’s only doing this because the amortentia potion is fuelling an insatiable need within. The way his eyes widen at your words before his whole body relaxes let’s you know that has been a concern of his, causing you to smile, and reach up to cup his cheeks before pulling him into a quick kiss.

“Now, please carry on and don’t stress. We’ll talk properly after, okay?” Hoseok nods and you bite your lip, trying not to laugh at how eager he looks once more.

He doesn’t kiss you again though, instead turning and tugging on your hand. Brows rising, you follow him before watching in astonishment as he sweeps your desk clear of any papers or stationery. Part of you wants to complain, but the thought instantly vanishes when he backs you up until you can feel the solid wood against the backs of your thighs.

“Hoseok! My desk? Seriously?” Giggling, you glance around your classroom and feel a little scandalised. The door to your quarters is only a few metres away but he has an almost playful look in his eyes when he grins back at you. You’d protest doing something like this in your classroom louder if it wasn’t for the fact that you were desperate for him.

He doesn’t respond to those comments though, instead reaching out and ghosting his fingers over your cheek. It makes you shiver as you feel that touch all over.

“Once more...you want this, right? You’d want this even without the potion influence?” You wonder how much amortentia addles the mind but you reason to yourself that you’ve thought about this with him for the last week. About him between your thighs, deep inside you and pleasing you.

“I want it. I’ll want it after, too.” Purposefully lowering your voice, you look at him from beneath your lashes before reaching out and hooking your fingers around his belt. Now he’s the one laughing, the sound low and husky as he lets you pull him forward.

As if you’re magnetically attracted, your lips meet his once more and you sigh into his mouth as he pressed himself against you. Whimpering, you slide your hands around his waist and try to pull him closer. A wiggle on the hard surface has Hoseok’s erection pressing onto your clit, causing you to moan out.

He mirrors the noise, the sound hoarse from his throat and you find yourself grinding against him as well as you can. It doesn’t quite work as you have nothing to brace your legs with but neither of you seems to mind. Thankfully though, Hoseok seems to understand and begins a slow roll of his hips that drives you wild.

But it’s not enough though and you shift away from him, dragging your hands down his front and enjoying the way he moans as your nails scrape through his shirt. Reaching his belt, you fumble to undo it and frown in frustration as you struggle with it.

“Let me,” Hoseok says, undoing the buckle with practised ease and slipping the leather through the meal. The sound of it sparks something inside you, causing you to writhe on the desk and beg him to hurry up. A quirk of his lips tells you that he’s amused at your insistence.

Before he does anything else though, he reaches forward and pushes your skirt along your thighs. The soft material only adds to the overstimulation of your already wired body, causing goosebumps to form all over.

His fingertips on the freshly exposed skin feel even better though, the sensitive skin of your inner thighs sparking fireworks of pleasure and delight at his touch. Letting your head fall back, you just let yourself focus on the feelings and whine softly, pussy clenching around nothing.

Under normal circumstances, you would want to explore all of Hoseok and have the favour returned in full. You’d want the full experience with plenty of foreplay; his mouth and fingers delving into places that only he’s allowed to see.

You’re too desperate though and you pull your skirt up, shifting until you’re laying back on the desk and trying to tug your underwear off. It’s hard to do on the desk though and you’re thankful when Hoseok takes over, his fingers hooking into the soft material and then you’re feeling cool air.

“Fuck.” He curses, eyes focused solely between your legs. You’re almost embarrassed to realise how wet you are, the underwear in his hands sporting a prominent damp batch that has a shiny spot you can see even from here.

Being this close to him and now being half-naked, you want him more than ever and you try to grasp at his wrist, needing him to touch you down there. Anything you can get, you’ll take. Hoseok lets you take his hand, guiding his fingers until they’re pressing against the hardened nub of your clit.

The sound you let out is obscenely loud as you move his hand until he’s touching you in just the right way to send arrows of pleasure through your body. Letting go, you let him carry on and enjoy the heat of him on you, sighing in relief at finally getting what you wanted.

It’s not enough though and you try to shift your hips, lifting them in an attempt to line his fingers with your entrance. He can tell what you’re trying to do though and grins, the expression causing his cheeks to rise while his eyes sparkle down at you.

“Do you just want to do it? You’re already really wet.” He asks, raising a brow and you nod quickly. You don’t want to waste any more time and the thought of having his cock in you is more than you can bear. It doesn’t stop you from whining in displeasure as he takes his hand away to finish undoing his trousers.

To try and combat that, you let your fingers take over from where he was. You know your body better than anyone and almost instantly you’ve got a good rhythm going. The sight of him before you, cheeks flushed with his hair looking ruffled and his shirt creased, is unbelievably erotic.

Unzipping his trousers, he pushes them down his thighs alongside his underwear. You don’t even get to see what kind he wears but you find that you don’t care. Beneath the ends of his white button-up shirt, a prominent erection stands proudly towards you. The tip is swollen and red, unsurprising given how long he’s had it for now.

He’s not the longest, nor the thickest, but you don’t care. Hoseok’s cock is quite possibly the most perfect thing you’ve seen at that moment and all you want is for him to be inside you.

Before you can vocalise that though, he’s suddenly grabbing his wand before his trousers fall to the floor. Resting the tip on your belly, he mutters a quick spell and you realise that he’s got more control of himself than you do as he’d remembered to cast a contraceptive spell. A second spell on both you and him protects you from any diseases or infections, after which he practically throws his wand to the side.

You’d protest his lack of care about something so fragile but you can’t bring yourself to care when he moves forward, letting the tip of cock rest against your pussy. The weight, almost surprising given how it defies gravity, is delightful on your clit and he presses it down, moving in a slow roll that has you sighing.

More wetness coats your pussy, which in turn coats him and you grasp one of his hands. Linking your fingers together, you pull him a little closer and mewl as he slides against the sensitive bundle of nerves once more.

“Please, Hoseok. Please” You beg, causing him to smile with satisfaction.

Placing his free hand on your left leg, he pushes it up a little and out to the side, stretching you open a little more for him. Shivering as the air cools the slick excitement between your legs, you go to protest. It’s cut off though by the feeling of him penetrating you, the blunt head of his cock slipping into you with minimal resistance thanks to how wet you’ve gotten.

Moaning loudly, your eyes close as he stretches you with each inch. It’s been a long time since you’ve slept with anyone and the ragged cry Hoseok pulls from you is directly caused by how good he feels inside you. It’s like you can feel every inch of him as he slides deeper within, the nerves in your walls firing sparks of pleasure continuously until he finally bottoms out.

For a moment, the two of you simply stay in position and bask in the beautiful feeling. You’re panting a little and trying to resist the urge to shift your hips to encourage him to move. One glance at Hoseok tells you to let him move at his own pace.

His face is pinched, brows knitted together and his jaw looking sharper than ever as he clenches his teeth. The fingers wrapped in yours squeeze tightly and after a few seconds, he lets out a guttural groan that sounds as if it was ripped from his gut.

“Shit...Merlin’s beard, you’re so...I don’t know if I’m going to last,” He admits, his cheeks burning redder than ever. “I’m sorry if I don’t. I’ve imagined...this is…”

Grunting, he slowly pulls out before sliding back into you with one fluid motion of his hips. A broken cry escapes your mouth at the pleasure and you reach down to rub at your clit. You’re just as desperate as he is to orgasm, to feel him thick inside you as you convulse around him while waves of pleasure leave you boneless.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just...move. Please.” You reassure him, trying to smile before your eyes roll back into your head at the second thrust. Still, your words let him gain some confidence and he continues to move in slow and steady snaps of his hips, each drag of his cock better than the last.

Lifting onto your elbows, you risk a glance down to take in the sight of him thrusting into you. His cock is soaked with your wetness and you realise suddenly that it’s causing lewd sounds every time he moves. You’d be embarrassed at it but the sound is strangely erotic to you; the knowledge that he’s caused you to become this wet and experience this much pleasure intoxicating.

The two of you don’t speak for a minute or so after that, far too caught up in just enjoying yourselves and all the feelings that course through your bodies. You suppose the potion is a little to blame for the almost selfish nature of the sex, but there’s also more than enough longing and desire on his side mixing with eagerness and attraction on your own.

“Fuck, I think-I think I’m gonna cum.” Hoseok pants out, his whole chest moving as he gasps out from the strenuous effort of sex. His face has a sheen to it and the damper patches on his white shirt indicate how much he’s sweating from it. Probably also a little from just how warm you’d both ended up.

Moaning out in response, you tip your head back against the cool wood of your desk and let your hand do its work. The combination of his cock inside you and your fingers playing on your clit blend together perfectly and you writhe wildly.

“Ah...shit.” His entire body going rigid as he pushes into you as far as he can get. Watching him, you cry out at how beautiful and sexy he looks as he orgasms; his jaw tightly clenched to show off that beautiful line of bone while the tendons in his neck strain. The hand entwined with yours squeezes harder than ever and he seems to just inside you in tiny movements, almost like he’s extending his pleasure without wasting too much effort.

You can feel the subtle twitch of his cock deep within you and the knowledge that he’s orgasming inside you has your fingers swirling on your clit harder and faster than before. Tightening your inner muscles, you relish in the strangled moan Hoseok lets out and the increase of feeling.

Not long after he lets out a final sigh, deeper than anything else, and he strokes his free hand down your thigh. It’s almost an encouraging touch and even though he’s finished, he moves in you with a slow and lazy stroke. The slight wince he has tells you that he’s probably a little overstimulated but he doesn’t complain and you cry out as your whole body tenses up.

Back bowing and head pressing into the desk, you tighten your eyes closed as high pitched whines and breathes escape your throat. Hips rolling in a circular motion, you continue to stroke at the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs until the sensation becomes too much. Pulling your hand away, you’re surprised when Hoseok grabs at it suddenly.

He slips out of you, his cock rapidly becoming flaccid nows that’s had his fill and you shift at the sensation of liquid that’s slightly thicker than your excitement beginning to leak from you. The knowledge that it’s come from him is surprisingly arousing and you try to push the thought away.

Something not helped by the fact that Hoseok takes the fingers that had been so busy with your clit and licks them clean, groaning out quietly as he finally gets to taste you. It’s probably not the way he imagined doing it, but Merlin, it’s certainly an attractive way.

“That was good,” He finally says, letting your hand drop and you miss the feel of his tongue already. “Better than I’ve ever imagined...and I imagined it a lot.”

He’s flushed from the intense exercise but the bashful look to his eyes tells you that some of that pink tinge is also from his shyness. You can’t help but grin at the fact he’s getting quiet after just fucking you so hard on your desk.

Sitting up slowly, you stretch and enjoy the satisfying feeling of multiple muscles in your body and the overall sense of contentment that washes through you. Reaching forward, you wrap your arms around his neck after he’s tugged his trousers and underwear back up before kissing him gently.

“How flattering, Professor Jung. I feel honoured.” There’s a hint of teasing in your voice but you keep it light enough to know that you’re not being mean to him. Instead, you’re pleased by his admission that he’s thought of you sexually. Perhaps you don’t want to know about what his teenage fantasies were but you’ll happily accept his adult fantasies.

It works to make him snort a laugh and shake his head, stroking his hands along your waist.

“And as amazing as the sex was...I’m feeling a little tired and sore from the desk. So let’s take this into my quarters, shall we?” Pushing him, you hop off the desk and let your skirt fall back into place. It’s creased now and there’s likely wet stains on the back alongside what will eventually become semen stains too.

Hoseok doesn’t follow you as you move towards the door leading to your bedroom, causing you to turn and give him an arched brow in question. Opening the door without looking at it, you smile brightly before winking.

“Well? Do you want me to be alone in my bed?” Turning away from him, you quickly pull off your shirt and throw it out of the door for him to see. It’s only seconds before you hear the sound of him following quickly, causing you to smile to yourself.

Yawning widely, you stretch out your arms and almost hit Hoseok in the face. Toes brushing against his leg as you do so, he lets out a laugh that’s more movement than sound. The rumble of his chest beneath your cheek is comforting and you sigh deeply in contentment. It had been only half an hour or so since you’d had sex and what was likely only three hours since you’d both fucked the first time.

You had to give Hoseok credit; he knew exactly what he was doing.

Just the thought of the frantic sex on your desk had you heating up in dual embarrassment and desire. Embarrassment because...well it was your desk! In your classroom. How were you ever going to look at the table without remembering what had happened on top of it?

The desire was a more obvious, and expected, emotion though. Experiencing that again would be very welcomed on your behalf and you suspected that Hoseok would be just as open to it.

Nuzzling your head into him, you took in a deep breath to get a concentrated dose of Hoseok mixed with sex. It was a heady scent and you squeeze your thighs, feeling the wetness that was still there.

Despite the horny monster he’s released, you feel a sense of tired contentment between you both. Hoseok hasn’t said anything since you’d both collapsed onto the bed after a rigorous second round and you hadn’t wanted to interrupt it yet. It was nice to just enjoy the tired aftermath of sex without the pressure of talking anything out.

Even if you knew that you both had to.

As if he can tell what you’re thinking, Hoseok takes a deep breath that has your head rising.

“I didn’t intend for...well for this. I swear,” He says, his voice a little nervous and you can tell he’s uncertain about how you’re going to respond now the potion has run its course. “I’m sorry for knocking the potion over, it was stupid of me.”

Pushing up onto your elbow, you reach up and place a finger against his lips to stop him from saying anything else. He looks at you, his cheeks adorably full from this angle and his eyes dark while he waits for you to say whatever you’re thinking.

What you’re thinking is that his lips are so soft beneath your fingertip, plush and swollen from the frantic kisses. Before you can think of anything else, you shift forward until you’re kissing him once more, the movement slow enough for him to stop it if he didn’t want to.

He lets you though, one hand coming up to cup the back of your neck in support, and opening his mouth to deepen it. A quiet moan leaves your throat as you slant your mouth against his, tilting your head to find the perfect angle and shivering as he slips his tongue into your willing mouth.

Any hint of a conversation disappears between you both, his free hand running down your naked back in a slow stroke that’s so sensual it has you quivering. But you know that he understands that you’re not annoyed at him; actually the exact opposite.

Pulling away, you lick at your lips and note the unfiltered lust in his eyes as he watches you do so, before smiling at him. Brushing some of his dark hair away from his face, admiring just how handsome he was.

“Don’t worry about it, honestly. I was fully aware of myself and wanted it. I already told you that and I meant it. The potion just helped me to get over my inhibitions. Trust me, I was already considering this after the Winter Solstice Ball. I just didn’t know how to get over the hurdle of being nervous about it.” Now it’s his turn to comfort you, his fingertips tracing across your face in a featherlight touch.

It’s almost painfully tender and the sparkling warmth in his eyes tells you that there’s something much deeper there for him. But you don’t push and he doesn’t spill. He’ll tell you when he’s comfortable with it, and you’ll be there to hear it.

Instead, he opens up with an entirely different kind of vulnerability. The confidence he’s shown so far disappears and you note fondly that it makes him look younger. Something he’d probably hate you saying.

You’ve finally figured out why he never likes conversation about the age difference between you both, at least.

“Really? Do you really mean that? I mean, about considering it?” Hoseok sounds awkward, his voice pitching higher than normal at one point and causing him to cough while his cheeks darken. The urge to coo is unbelievable.

“Yes, I mean it. I was a little taken aback when I first came here and I saw how much you’d changed since I’d last seen you. But you became one of my closest friends and the last few weeks has had me looking at you...in a slightly different light. You were...unreal at the ball and it made me realise a lot of things. And the kiss spurred that on, too. I talked with Jisoo and she helped me to see that...you’re not just her little brother. I’d been putting that label on you in an attempt to keep you at arm’s length, but I don’t want that now. I don’t need to, because I’ve accepted that I find you attractive and I would be open to more if you wanted it.” The words fall from your mouth in a rush, taking advantage of the confidence you had to get this out.

“I want it.” You don’t even get to say anything else because Hoseok interrupts you with those three simple words, the syllables fast as his enthusiasm takes over. Snorting quietly, you kiss his cheek affectionately and enjoy it when it pinkens once more.

“Someone’s eager.” Teasing him, you roll onto your back and let out a sigh as you stare up at the blank ceiling. There’s a slight chill in the air, common in such an old castle as Hogwarts, but you feel your nipples pebble from it. Shuddering, you go to tug the blanket over your naked body and Hoseok’s.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a while, so yeah. But we can talk about that more later if you want?” Looking over at him, you smile at the happiness on his face and note how he seems so much lighter than before. The knowledge that you’ve done this to him is a little overwhelming, causing you to let out a sudden breath.

And then you notice that he’s not only happy in the metaphorical sense but also in the physical sense, a prodding against your thigh causing you to peek under the blanket. Sure enough, his well-endowed erection was very prominent against you.

Raising an eyebrow, you look up at Hoseok with a mix of exasperation, amusement and admiration.

“Already? Three times in an evening?” Now Hoseok is the one smirking, the palm of his hand pressing flat against your stomach before slowly creeping down your body. The low lying flame of desire that had settled burns back to life now and you subtly wriggle in your bed, thighs opening as your body tries to get those long fingers where you want them.

“One of the benefits of a younger man,” Wiggling his brows, he grins when you chuckle before pushing at his chest. “If our age difference is ever mentioned again then I want this to be the thing you remember most.”

And with that, he flashes his teeth in a mischievous smile before disappearing under the blanket, ignoring your shriek of laughter at how his fingers tickle. That laughter soon dissolves into a moan when he reaches his destination though and as you grasp his hair tightly, glad that you finally took the plunge and realised what a wonderful man Jung Hoseok is.

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joy1579 · 3 years

Text

self indulgent

I've been sad. so i wrote a thing to make me less sad. maybe it'll make someone else less sad too or at the very least they can laugh at my “cringe” but either way it did make me less sad so goal accomplished.

Mc and jumin organize a bookshelf jumin asks what neko girls are and MC short circuits his brain for a couple of seconds. no smut just fluff

Moving hadn’t taken long. You had opted to donate your furniture to the local homeless shelter since Jumin’s penthouse was furnished with the highest quality furniture you could dream of. Honestly most of your things paled in comparison to the lavish goods Jumin considered tawdry. Still there were a quite a few boxes you had decided to save, filled mostly with sentimental keepsakes and the few odds and ends that catered to your specific tastes. You were practically finished by noon save the three or four boxes that sat in the main room next to the larger than life bookshelves. Certainly there was plenty of room on them. You never where a fan of negative space on bookshelves but if you were being completely honest that had more to do with how many books you needed to fit in such a finite space. Jumins bookshelves had plenty of room with just enough negative space to look perfectly balanced and while you knew Jumin had told you to do whatever you wished this felt intimate. Bookshelves where holy spaces after all, housing books that change hearts and minds alike that shape the soul and … okay so maybe you just really liked books and that made them seem important to you either way this was definitely something you wanted to do with Jumin. When you heard the door rattle with Jumin homecoming you bolt towards it excited to greet him after work.

“Jumin! Welcome home!” you cried bouncing in place as he made his way inside. You smiled as you saw the creases in his brown flatten and the stress slip from shoulders when he saw you. You waited all of 5 seconds for him to close the door giving you both some privacy from the bodyguards stationed outside before you pounced, leaping upon the business man wrapping your arms around his neck. You delighted in the deep honey of his laughter as he caught your waist in kind and kissed the top of your head gently.

“darling. I’m so glad to be home. How was your day? did you get settled?” Jumin asked as you pulled yourself back slightly giving him room to loosen his tie and set aside his coat.

“everything is in its place except um Jumin there is one thing I need if you don’t mind”

“name it and its yours”

“I wanted to share your bookshelves and I was hoping that maybe you could organize the books with me?” you admitted shyly. It had seemed like such a good idea in the beginning he could show you his favorite books, walk you through his favorite plots and tell you his favorite quotes and you could do the same with him. Yet now as you presented the idea to him you worried. What if he was to tired he had worked all day after all, what if he thought you too needy, or your books to childish. what if he didn’t want your books displayed in the living room because they weren’t very pretty, all of his books where gorgeous leather bound tomes or mint condition hardcovers, yours where second hand at best many where decommissioned library books or garage sale rescues, broken in battered and bruised by years of use. It would make sense to have them put away in a back room where they couldn’t tarnish the pristine collection Jumin had on display. Perhaps you where spiraling, working yourself into a nervous frenzy in the span of a few seconds.

“nothing would make me happier love. We can call the chef to start dinner and begin emptying the shelves for rearranging while he works.” You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face or the giggle that escaped your lips. The surprise on Jumins face was evident if only for a second before it gave way to a warm sort of fondness. “had I known simple redecorating would make you this happy I would have stayed home and done it all with you” he said affectionately running his fingers through your hair.

“it’s not that I just,” you paused face flushing a bit “books are a big deal, ya know? My dad used to tell me that every book you read becomes a part of you and that you can learn more about someone by the books they love than by the words they say so I wanted to share that with you” jumins eyes where so soft and gentle in that moment you felt your breath hitch “I want to know everything about you and, and I want you to know everything about me” suddenly his lips where on yours fervent and full of passion the hand that had been in your hair now on your chin guiding you too him. The kiss was short and when you parted from him he stayed close, just a hairs breath from your face.

Jumin voice was little more than a whisper as he asked “how is it that every day I manage to fall more in love with you?” you couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him again an all too familiar giddiness bubbling its way through your soul. You loved this man more than life itself and you knew that would never change.

“so your ‘Encyclopedia of Fairies’ should go next to the Catherynne M Valente series so we can reference it while reading agreed?” you giggled thrilled that his collection of mythological reference books slotted together with your fae fiction so perfectly. Puzzle pieces connecting to create a masterpiece.

“yes I think that’s perfect. I can’t wait to read her interpretation of such ancient mythos. I also have ‘The World Guide to Gnomes, Fairies, Elves and Other Little People’ if you’d like to add it to that shelf” he said grinning like a child at show and tell.

“oh my goodness yes! That’s perfect and your book on Romanian vampires should be near my ‘Dracula’ and ‘vittorio’ that way that shelf over there can be dedicated to the occult, hauntings, and psychic reference books”

“that sound wonderful and takes care of all the written word but we still haven’t found a place for your comics” Jumin informed glancing toward the woefully large stack of manga you had brought.

“not comic Jumin manga and yeah I think we’re out of space though. I um I didn’t think I had that many books. Sorry” you admitted not meeting his eyes. He tilted your head up to look at him.

“there’s no need to apologize it simply means that tomorrow we can go shopping for another shelf and the next day we can organize those. I’m quite curious about ‘la petite cossette’ you said these where Japanese but that is most certainly a French title.”

“oh I actually think you’d like that one a lot it’s about a man who falls in love with a woman in a cursed portrait its actually pretty tragic in the end.”

“How interesting” he mused retrieving it from the pile of books and skimming through it “the art is truly enchanting and you said that manga has its own subculture?”

“yeah from neko girls to shonen action tropes it has its own vocabulary, history and groups of people its really fun”

“neko girls?” Jumin repeated and your eyes widened at his confusion. This was definitely something he of all people should know about! You jumped up and sprinted to the closet you had filled earlier that day with the few cosplay supplies you had. At the time it had taken nearly half your pay check but if Jumin liked them right now the purchase then would be completely justified. You put on your surprise as quickly as possible before rushing back out to greet Jumin who had just made it to the edge of the living room to come find where you had gone. He froze for a second processing what you were now wearing. White cat ears that moved and twitched fairly believably and just as he was able to cope with that your made paws with your hands and tried your best “nya”. For a moment you feared you may have broken him. He didn’t move his face blank, eyes fixed on you. You tried again hoping to spur some sort of reaction from him “nya?” you said turning to the side slightly to show off the other half of your surprise a white tail complete with pink bow and bell at the base where it attached to your skirt. You tilted your head to look up at him through your lashes trying every trick in your arsenal to look as cute as possible but nothing. He was completely frozen. “Jumin? Hello?” now you were getting worried “darling are you okay?” you asked placing the back of your hand on his forehead to feel for a temperature. The second your hand touched him however his face flushed.

“neko girl.” He muttered “that’s neko as in cat” you could see him trying to calm himself. Fiddling with his shirt sleeves and attempting to stay in control. You smiled standing on your tip toes to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear.

“am I a good little kitten at least?” you couldn’t contain your giggle as you heard him choke slightly before scooping you up bridal style.

“certainly not, in fact I think you’ve been a very bad little kitten.” He said his voice deeper than normal as he carried you back towards the bedroom.

#Jumin #jumin x mc #jumin han #mm jumin #jumin fluff

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bnhaimaginesandocs · 4 years

Text

dear, songbird || tokoyami x reader

A/N: This is for the bnhaharem pen-pal collab on our discord server! It’s also my first collab so I’ve been really nervous about posting it. But I really hope you guys enjoy it! You can go here to look at all of the other wonderful stories that people from our discord has written! Also this is my first smut so please be gentle. Warnings: Talk of arranged marriage; NSFW Content. (+18) Tags: @bratwritings @mmalfoydraco @shoutogepi Words: 6.5k (aka the longest thing I have ever written)

“We’ve arranged a marriage for you.”

The phrase was dropped so casually by your father that you could have sworn you almost missed it. If it had not been for the fact that your mother was grinning excitedly. Her eyes glowing and her smile so wide It could have split her face in half. You felt the spoon fork and knife drop from your hands in shock, clattering against the china dinner plate you had been so happily digging into only seconds ago. You jaw dropping slightly and tears stinging at the corner of your eyes. You hand known this was coming for a while now, but it still hurt that they hadn’t even bothered to inform you that they were looking. That they did not even ask for your opinion on who you were to marry; that they were selling you off like some prized cow. Like livestock.

You had seen so many young girls be married off solely to help their families in the past; friends that were married to men that treated them worse than the dirt on their shoe. Who expected them to be quiet and take care of the children while they did nothing? Would that be you? You did not want that to be you. You wanted your freedom. You wanted to be someone’s equal. To be able to chose who you loved and –

Your parents were staring at your worriedly, no doubt considering your pale face and furrowed brow. You took a deep breath, you needed to stay calm.

“I see.” You said thickly slowly moving to pick up the goblet of wine that was sitting next to your plate, forcing yourself to swallow down the liquid. Wincing slightly at the bitter taste as it burned down your throat, but it brought you back to reality. Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself as you pick up the fork again, looking across the table at your parents. “When should I be expecting to meet him?” You tried to keep your voice from trembling as you asked, thankfully your parents seemed relaxed now and none the wiser to your plight and to the thoughts swirling around in your head.

“Well actually, he won’t be available to meet you in person for a few months yet, my darling.” Your father informed with that easy going smile he always seemed to wear. “He’s away over seas for the time being. Merchant business and all that.” He explained as he started to cut up his food again. Shoveling it into his mouth as he talked and you and your mother both fought back the urge to cringe at his manners; hopefully, your husband to be would be slightly better with his table manners.

“You could always write him a letter, perhaps try to get to know him a bit?” Your mother offered helpfully, her smile warm. “He did leave an address for you to use if you so wished.”

You hummed thoughtfully at the information you had just been given. Delicately placing your fork and knife on your half empty plate, your appetite still lost from the news, but your mind clearer than a moment ago. If this mysterious man were away overseas, then maybe, perhaps it would give you time to plan. You entertained the idea of maybe talking your parents out of this arrangement; but even you knew that would not be possible. Him being a merchant sealed the deal for your parents; as much as you loved them. They were always looking to evolve their own appearance in society.

The only other option truly was to do what your mother had suggested. Writing to him seemed like the only course of action now, and truly, it was the best option. It would at least give you the chance to know who you may be marrying; and if he was callous or unfit in any way, you would have proof to show your family so they could call it off.

“I see,” You said with a hum. Bringing your goblet of wine to your lips with a small smile. “Mother, would you please give me that address?” You downed the contents gracefully as you finished. “I think I might like to write to him.”

________________________________________________________________

You let out a loud huff as you glared down at the piece of parchment before you on your desk, you watched with frustrated eyes as the candles lit around your desk flickered violently at the heavy gust of air from your lungs. You closed your eyes, rubbing at them tiredly before glancing around your desk chair, sighing at the tens of pieces of parchment paper that were already used crumpled onto the floor.

This was a lot harder than you had thought it was going to be. You thought that it would be a few simple questions; what were his hobbies? What did he do for a living other than being a merchant? Why did he agree to marry you? But even as you wrote these simple questions on the paper, they never seemed to fit quite right so you would scrap it and try again. And again. And again.

It was becoming more frustration than it was worth, quite frankly. But still, this was something that you had to do. Something you needed to do.

You slowly picked the pen back up again, carefully dipping it into the inkwell with one hand as you brushed your hair to the side with the other, focusing solely on the letter you began to write.

To my soon to be Husband,

Though I have yet to make your acquaintance in person. I supposed that writing this letter to you while you are away would be a good enough start. I would like to get to know you more. I want to know what kind of man I would be marrying; so, what interests you? About me? About life in general? Tell me about your travels. What places have you seen?

I’m still wondering why you agreed to the marriage without even have meeting me in the first place. How do you know we will even get along?

Please answer back at your earliest convince.

Sincerely.

Your future Wife.

You sighed softly as you sat the pend back into the ink well, blowing gently on the parchment paper as you held it up, drying the ink in the process. You let you mind wander for a few minutes, thinking of what this will mean for you now. Marrying off to a merchant. Would you travel with him? Would you be expected to stay at home and take care of things there while he travelled the world doing god know what?

“Only time will tell.”, You sigh softly, noticing the dried ink on your hand as you started to fold the letter. Sealing the enveloped with a wax seal before leaving it on your desk to give to one of the maids in the morning. Blowing out the candles quickly as you turned in for the night. Thoughts still running through your mind as you drifted away into a blissful sleep.

________________________________________________________________

His response to your letter arrived no more than two week later; one of the maids handing it to you excitedly. Her smile knowing as she placed the pristine envelope in your hands; you thanked her quietly, setting down the cup of tea you had been nursing for the better part of an hour, trying to contain your nerves as you reached for the letter opener on your deck. Making quick work of the envelope as you hastily unfolded the letter.

The first thing you noted was how neat his handwriting was; looping and curving elegantly around each word. A soft smile growing on your face as you read the opening words.

My Dearest future Wife,

I agree as well, us writing to one another is a good enough start. I have been eager to know more about you. Your parents told me tales of your beauty, of your knowledge and your hunger for life. You have intrigued me to no end, my dear. What has interested me since the moment I knew of you, was the way your parents talked about your love for books and knowledge; your wishes to travel to places you’ve only dreamed of.

And while they may have laughed it off as the musings of nothing but a silly girl. I heard the cries of a woman desperate for adventure and knowledge. I wanted to know more. That’s why I agreed to the marriage. I wanted to know what places you want to go. What things you would like to see. I want to know more about you and I knew that this was my chance. And if we don’t get along, then we will call off the engagement. But will you at least let me try?

The letter went on, telling you more of his interest in you. His interest in anything and everything actually. Your smile only growing wider and wider as you finished it, carefully sliding it into an empty drawer in your desk as your fingers itched for your pen and inkwell; ready to craft a new letter yet again.

Maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t be as bad as you had feared. Not when he seemed to have such an interest in you and all of the things that mattered to you.

You heart fluttered in your chest; a goofy grin on your face as you set the pen to paper.

________________________________________________________________

It went on like that for weeks after the first letter. There wasn’t a day going by that you weren’t writing to him. Telling him stories of how you grew up; sneaking into the library when you had thought no one else would look for you. Hiding in the back corners with a book in your hand as you shirked your etiquette lessons and wasted the day away. You told him of how you and your best friend would ruin your best dresses climbing in the trees and pretending you were princess of the forest. How you loved to sing.

(He had started addressing you in his letters as Songbird, after you had told him that fact. Making you promise to sing for him when you met.)

You had worried with the first few that you were boring him. But to your surprise, he seemed interested in your stories; sharing his own of how he would sneak in injured birds when he was a boy. How he would jump fully clothed into the lake as a child, pretending he was a sailor tempted overboard by a group of sirens. Even how he had fallen off a horse the first time he tried riding one. You had laughed out loud at that; the thought of someone who seemed so proper doing something so silly.

The letters soon gave way to gifts. Dresses and necklaces. Books and journals from all corners of the world. I

With each letter, each word and each passing day you fell more and more in love with this man whom you’d never met, and you found yourself slightly surprised. Not realizing how excited you had become, waiting on his every letter with a bated breath. Your heart fluttering whenever you saw his familiar handwriting on an envelope in the hands of your maids.

You were in love with him. And you told him that in your latest letter. Hands shaking slightly as you wrote out the confession; short and simple. No need to weave it with pretty words when you felt as though the plain truth would be more than effective with that.

And it was a surprise to no one when his letter was just the same; your heart nearly swelling at the words of scrawled across the page neatly with something else below it.

“I love you too. I’m coming home. I can’t wait to see you anymore, Songbird.”

________________________________________________________________

You had prepared yourself for it for weeks; but nothing could stop the nerves from taking over you as you stood on the steps of your estate, your parents beside you as you watched the carriage pull into the grounds. The cool breeze of fall weaving through your hair and making you shiver as you wiped your clammy hands against the skirt of the dress you had specifically picked out to wear for his arrival. It was the first gift he had ever sent you. A gorgeous, black lace dress that skirted the tops of your shoes, the neckline dipping down a little more than what was acceptable, but you didn’t really mind. It fit you like a glove and it brought you a sense of joy when you wore it; that he had picked this out for you in mind.

You felt your mother lay a hand on your shoulder as you tugged at your sleeves and you gave her a tiny smile. Hoping it concealed enough of your nerves; the ones that were worried that he wouldn’t like how you looked or that he wouldn’t be what you thought he would when you met and –

It all came to a stop suddnely as you watched the carriage come to a full stop.

You held your breath as you watched it pull to a stop in front of your house, hands shaking excitedly as the door opened and he stepped out. Breath catching in your throat, you couldn’t help the blush that colored your cheeks. You had always wondered how he looked; he wrote so beautifully that it was only natural he be just as lovely as his words. Luckily, your imagination did not fail you.

He was handsome, almost achingly so. His hair black as ink from your inkwell, the same ink that stained you hands late at night as you scribbled down everything to him. Every hope dream and desire. His skin bronzed from time at sea no doubt and his eyes were so beautiful they stopped you in your tracks when he fixed them on you. Deep, burnished red like the rubies of a family amulet fixating on you the moment his feet touched the graveled stone; lips quirking up in the most handsome of grins as he stepped forward; your eyes never leaving one another’s.

Your feet seemed to move on their own. Slowly moving down a step before breaking into a short run, throwing your arms around his neck; his chuckle was deep and rumbling as he wrapped his arms around your waist; proper decorum gone to the wind. “Hello, Songbird.” He said against your ear as he tugged you closer than you thought possible, hugging you tight to him as he leaned down to press his lips against your ear. Smirking as he felt you shiver.

“I always knew would be lovely.” He whispered it low against your ear like a secret; warm and low as he held you close. It nearly made your knees give out beneath you, having him so close like this. “But nothing could have prepared me for the injustice my imagination did to the real you. You’re simply breathtaking my dear.” That simple sentence nearly knocked the breath from your lungs as he stepped back from the embrace, warm hands leaving your waist to grab your smaller ones in his.

And just like that, all your worries from earlier were a thing of the past.

His smile was almost cheeky as he took you in; his eyes darkening slightly as he took note of what you wore and the small smirk that adorned your face at noticing you had gotten a reaction out of him. Your eyes were lock for a moment longer before you heard a loud cough from behind you. The two of you jumping apart with sheepish smiles as you walked arm and arm up to your parents.

He turned towards your parents. Shaking hands with your father and gently kissing your mother’s hand before pulling her into a short hug as well in greeting, thanking them for having him here; sneaking glances at you every chance that he could get. Your parents seemed to notice, your mother patting his shoulder gently.

“You’re welcome any time dear. Now why don’t you let my daughter take you to the library? I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on. I’ll make sure you’re not bothered.” You noticed how her eyes glinted mischievously and you couldn’t help but flush slightly but your mother only giggled at your expression, ushering the two of you inside quickly.

________________________________________________________________

You had feared that your first time meeting him would be awkward at first. The two of you feeling so out of your element being in the same room together that you wouldn’t know what to say. You feared staring blankly into your cup of tea with nothing to talk about and that the letters had painted a false illusion of a man.

You thanked every god in existence that that wasn’t the case for the two of you. The two of you had not stopped talking with one another as you entered the library; flirting and laughing as you sat with him on the floor of the library, books that you were reading to him earlier scattered around you; doubled over in laughter as you sat side by side against a shelf of books; shoulders brushing as he told you stories of the crew he had been with on the ship while he traveled.

“So you mean to tell me, that he got so drunk he stripped naked and ran through the mess hall when everyone was eating; at twelve in the afternoon?” You asked through peels of laughter as Fumikage shook his head, laughing along with you at the memory.

“Yes, it’s an image I wish to erase from memory. We had to chase him down with a sheet to try to at least make him decent.” He said cringing, sending you into another laughing fit at the image of him and the others chasing down a drunken first mate with nothing but bed sheets in their hands. He chuckled along with you, his laughter deep and rumbling and it made a shiver run down your spine at the sound.

“You know,” you began after the laughter subsided, taking his hand in yours gently as you turned to face him, tucking your knees up under yourself as you knelt beside him, the carpet of the library floor plush under them. “I feared that you wouldn’t be like you letters when we met.” Your voice soft as you looked into ruby colored eyes that seemed unreadable for a moment before a smirk crossed his face.

“And what is it you feared I would be Songbird?” He asked coyly, his voice rumbling in a purr and his eyes glinting playfully as he moved in closer to you, angling his head just so your noses brushed against each other and you felt your breath hitch in your chest slightly but you controlled it quickly, hoping that he didn’t notice how distracted you felt by his closeness. How the smell of his cologne sent a shiver down your spine, and how his smirk was making your hear race even faster and you couldn’t stop staring at his lips.

Quickly, you collected yourself, your eyes jumping back up to his to keep from staring at his lips to long, face burning slightly at his knowing look. Clearing your throat, you answered.

“That you wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful in person as you were in your letters. That you would be rude, or boring, or callous. Nothing like I dreamed about.” You said honestly, smiling sweetly up at him as you amended it with, “I’m glad I was wrong though. You’re everything I could have hoped for, Fumikage.” The honesty in your voice seemed to take him by surprise. A smile so gentle crossing his face as he reached up a hand to rest against your cheek sweetly, cradling your face like it was something precious.

“Well you, my love, are everything I’ve dreamed about. Every desire and hope that I’ve ever had in human form.” He whispered it reverently, his eye never leaving yours as he brought up his other hand to cradle your face as well and you couldn’t remember a time you had felt more loved, more cherished than in that moment. It nearly made you dizzy with how badly in that moment you wanted to kiss him. To feel his lips against yours like you’d daydreamed about for months. So you tilted your head forward a bit, your lips brushing against his slightly; feeling him gasp softly before pulling back a bit.

You felt disappointment begin to claw at your stomach before he chuckled. “At least let me ask you properly first my little bird.” Eyes twinkling with mirth as he leaned in closer, and you shivered at the feeling of hot air against your lips, your body thrumming in anticipation as you waited with bated breath.

“May I kiss you, Songbird?” you nearly whined at how deep his voice sounded, how dark his eyes were as you whined against his lips. “Please, kiss me.”

You gasped as he finally crashed his lips against yours with a soft growl. Your mind went blank as you lost yourself to the feeling of his lips against yours, how soft they felt and how warm they were. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer until you successfully climbed onto his lap, your knees on either side of his hips, being able to kiss him deeper at this angle and you shivered as you felt his hands slowly glide down your back, to rest on your hips; squeezing slightly and making you gasp against his mouth. Giving him an opportunity to slip his tongue into our mouth, he both of you moaning softly as they danced with on another for a moment before pulling away for air, your chest heaving as he rested his forehead against yours, his smile almost boyish in this light.

“I’ve been wanting to do that from the moment I saw you my dear,” He whispered softly, his hands still squeezing your hips gently, thumbs rubbing circles into them as he took in your appearance; flushed cheeks and swollen red lips and chest still heaving from the passion of the kiss. You were so beautiful it stole his breath straight from his lungs as he brushed your hair from the side of your neck as he leaned in to whisper against your ear.

“You’re so beautiful it hurts Songbird.” His voice was smooth and dripping like honey as he placed a kiss against the skin beneath your ear, chuckling at the gasp that left your mouth before covering it with his own again, this time the kiss rougher and more passionate. He wasted no time in swiping his tongue against your lips, begging for permission that you gladly granted him as you pulled yourself closer to him, your chest pressed flush together, your hips unconsciously grinding down against his and the both of you groaning at the sensation. You could feel him hardening underneath you with every second passing and it made you dizzy with want as he pulled away to catch his breath, stopping for only a moment before he began kissing down your neck gently. Such a start contras to his kiss earlier.

Your mind was hazy as he continued to kiss down your neck gently, pulling soft moans from your lips. You had never been kissed like this, never done anything like this. Truly you had never thought about it before you had started writing to Tokoyami. You had had dreams of situations like this before, You panting underneath him, his lips on your neck, but oh god the real thing was so much better.

You laced a hand through his hair, tugging gently when he nipped at a space where your neck met your shoulder. You whimpered loudly, tugging at his hair making a guttural groan leave his lips that went straight to your aching core as he pulled away. Lips swollen slightly and his eyes the darkest you have ever seen them as he spoke, voice thick with want.

“Can I make love to you?” He whispered against your lips desperately. It took you by surprise almost, but the thought made you moan out loud. “Please tell me you want this as much as I do. It’s all I can think about when you’re close like this. Your smell, your eyes, the way you feel. God, you drive me insane, Songbird.” His voice was husky, desperate and filled with so much want that it made you shudder violently against him, the way he spoke about you so reverently only made you want him that much more.

“Yes, I want it. I want you.” You whined against his lips, feeling a small amount of satisfaction as you watched him groan at how wanton your voice sounded, his head dropping to your shoulder with a shuddering breath.

“If I’m going to take you, I want to do it on a proper bed. I want to make you scream for me.” He growled against your ear before pulling away so you could see his eyes. His pupils dilated to the point you could barely see the gorgeous red of his irises. “How quickly do you think we can make it to your room?”

You stood up from his lap, grabbing his arm and dragging him for the door as quick as your feet could move. Blushing slightly at his loud laughter as you chuckled slightly yourself as you raced down the hall.

________________________________________________________________

The second you locked your bedroom door behind the two of you; Tokoyami was on you like a man starved, his lips ravaging yours with a hunger you tried to match; moaning against his lips as he back you against he door. Your hands reach for his jacket sliding it off his shoulders and your fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as well, helping him remove it with a soft huff of laughter at his eagerness and yours as you reach for his pants as well; fumbling with the clasp of his belt as you try desperately to pull them down for him to step out of which you do.

As you do this, his hands roaming towards your back, fingers fumbling for the laces that did up the back of you dress as he slipped a tongue inside of your mouth and you moaned loudly against his lips, the wet muscle slithered into your mouth, play with yours. Finally he pulled away for a moment, his breathing coming out in harsh pants against your lips as he growled.

“Your lips taste so sweet, my love.” He purrs as he undoes the last of the laces, letting the dress fall to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwear, smirking as he realized you hadn’t worn a corset under the dress. He gazed at you with hungry eyes and let his hands trail down from your shoulders cupping your breasts gently in his hand, letting his thumbs brush over your nipples briefly and laughing darkly when you toss your head back against the door at his gentle touch; you can feel your pussy absolutely aching and soaked between your thighs and you rub them together slightly, hoping for some amount of friction to relieve them.

Tokoyami grins at the small movement, as he dips in for a short kiss that is anything but chaste as he continues to play with your nipples, thoroughly enjoying the reactions he’s pulling from you. The cute littles gasps against his lips as he slots a bare leg between your thighs groaning when you start to grind down against it. He can feel the wetness seeping through your underwear and god it’s so hot he can barely think straight. Without breaking the kiss, he lifts you into his arms effortlessly, and you wrap your legs around his waist rightly as he carries you to the bed, laying you down on hit gently on the bed.

He crawls on top of you with a gentle smile, marveling at the way your hair fans out beneath you and how beautiful you look like this. Willing and looking up at him with the most loving of eyes. It takes his breath away for a moment as he sits back on his knees to observe you. He runs his hands down your sides and to your thighs, tugging at your underwear in a silent question and you nod shakily as he pulls them down your legs.

“You’re so much more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed. You’re perfect darling.” He whispers reverently, like he’s worshipping a goddess and it makes you blush as you smile bashfully, turning your head for a moment before peering at him through thick lashes.

“Am I now? Where I’m looking, it’s you that’s the beautiful one.” you tease lightly, a smirk playing at the corner of your lips as you move your hands from his neck down the expanses of broad shoulders and strong arms. Smoothing over a pale chest and slightly defined abs. “You’re so strong,” you sigh dreamily and watch In amazement as he shudders under your touch and you reach up to kiss his cheek, slowly moving your way down his neck, reveling in the little gasp he gives you as you suck a mark into the space where his neck meets his shoulder as you hands go lower and lower, hitting the top of his under wear and you tug at them gently.

“It’s not fair I’m the only naked one.” You tease as you pull back to face him. Grinning at his flushed face for a moment before your eyes trail down his figure, widening at the sight of his member, before cautiously moving your hand to wrap around it’s girth. Tokoyami lets out a guttural groan the sensation of your soft hand grasping him so gently. “Feel how hard I am for you my love?” He moans out as you grasp him tighter. “I’m going to split you open with this.” You moan at his words, pussy clenching around nothing at the thought of him fucking you open on his cock. You squeeze him a few more times and much to your delight, you watch him start to pant, his hips moving slightly before he removes your hand from his cock.

You look up at him with curious eyes and he grins lightly before leaning down to kiss you passionately again. “Let me take care of you first, alright my love?” He whispers as he pulls back and your breath picks up as he started to litter kisses and licks down your neck and towards your chest, sucking marks into the skin gently all the way down and catching your one of your nipples in his mouth and the other with his thumb and forefinger, rolling them around his tongue and fingers respectively leaving you a moaning mess beneath him. “Please, Fumikage.” You whimper and he looks up at you through the hair hanging over his forehead, ruby eyes flashing mischievously as he witches his mouth to the other nipple and giving it the same attention as the other one.

He grins as you card a hand through his hair and starts moving downward as he begins to speak.

“How is it that every part of you tastes so sweet? Your skin, your lips. Your breasts.” He reaches up to squeeze them again and you moan as you feel his kisses go lower towards your aching core, your breath speeding up at the implication of what he’s going to do when you feel him start kissing the inside of your thighs. You lift yourself onto your elbow, watching him through a hooded gaze and your lip caught between your teeth to keep your moans at bay as he lavishes kisses on your thighs as he moves towards your soaked pussy.

“I bet you taste just as sweet here darling.” Tokoyami’s eyes are dark as he looks up at you, looking all to handsome between your legs like this as his hot breath fans over your soaking sex and god you’re gorgeous down here too; folds glistening with your juices and so, so ready for him. He grins lightly. “Let’s see shall we?” He asks as he licks a broad stripe up your pussy and you let out a short cry of pleasure, throwing your head back as you feel the vibrations of his groan against your pussy a hand shooting out to card through his hair as you fall back.

“God you taste divine my love, is there any part of you that isn’t perfect?” Tokoyami’s voice is dark with hunger and you moan at his words before yelping slightly as you feel him pinch your hip, forcing you to look at him. He smirks as you tug his hair in retaliation before speaking again.

“Don’t look away.” He demands as one hand begins to move up your thigh towards tour core, his fingers rubbing along your slit in a way that your fingers never could. “Ohhh!” your moan is loud and high pitched and your head is thrown back again when suddenly the sensation stops. You glare down at the man between your legs who is only grinning devilishly at you as he continues. “Every time you look away. I stop. And unless you want to cum, you are going to do what I say. Is that alright my darling?”

“Yes, yes I’ll do anything love plea- ah!” Your plea is cut off with a choked cry as he dives back into your glistening folds, his tongue licking broad stripes along them. Every time he licks upward, he takes a moment to suck on your clit and it was all you could do to not through your head back in ecstasy. You let out a soft cry as he plunged his tongue into your opening and distantly you were thankful your room was in the other wing of the house away from your parents because there was no chance in hell you were being quiet.

You could feel him smirk against your folds as he watched you come undone above him, your cheeks flushed and hair sticking to your face. You looked utterly debauched and it was all because of him and the knowledge of that made him groan against your folds again, earning a moan and a jerky movement from you. He brough his hand to rub at your clit in small tight circles and he loved your reaction. The wanton cry that you mad and the pleads for him to “don’t stop, don’t stop.” It made him feel drunk in the best of ways.

You could feel the coil in your abdomen ready to burst and you made it know. “Fumikage! I’m- I’m s-so close!” you stuttered out much to his delight, your eyes glassy as you looked down at him, hips swiveling against his face, your juices dripping down his chin as he pulled back to speak

“Are you going to come all over my face darling? Come on make a mess of me. I want it.” and with that he dived back in to your heat; thrusting his tounge inside you wildly and his thumb circling your clit as fast as he could until you couldn’t take it any more. Throwing your head back in utter euphoria with a loud cry as you threaded a hand through his hair, keeping his mouth on you as you rode out your high, slowly releasing him as you came down, your chest heaving and a glean of sweat all over your skin.

Tokoyami grinned as he lifted himself up from his place between your legs. Admiring his handiwork as he grabbed your thighs and tugged you toward him, his eyes glimmering.

“Do you want more my love?” He asked and laughed as you nodded eagerly, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring him closer to you and your arms winding around his neck. “Please. I want you inside me. I want to feel you.”

Your voice was so wanton and needy that Tokoyami let out a loud groan as he whispered in your ear. “Anything for you my love.” As he slowly pushed into your tight heat, hissing through his teeth at how wet you were, how you were gripping him like the best kind of vice. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough, he glanced beneath him, watching your face carefully for any signs of discomfort on your gentle features but all he could see was pleasure coloring them. But even as he bottomed out, he waited a moment, placing gentle kisses all over your face.

“Move.” You begged, rolling your hips against his with a moan. “Please move, love I need you please.” Your voice sounded so desperate and wrecked but right now you didn’t care. His cock was stretching out your walls so deliciously and you felt as though you would die if you didn’t feel him move. “Alright, tell me if it gets to much.” He whispered against your ear as he pulled out slowly before thrusting back in gently.

He kept that pace for a few minutes. Gentle and loving the two of you pressed so tightly against one another you didn’t know where one ended and the other began. It was heaven. Pure and euhphroic for the both of you. Your eyes rolled back into your head with every thrust, his cock reaching almost impossible depths inside of you that had you moaning his name loudly. That seemed to spur him on because soon his thrusts got faster, harder, deeper.

“Fuck you feel so good.” He grunted against your lips, his forehead resting against yours. “God its like you were made for my cock weren’t you my girl? Made to take it just like this.” His hips snapped into you with a particularly hard thrust and you cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders as your hips bucked up to meet his. “Fuck, fuck you feel divine wrapped around me like these. I could fuck you forever.” He rambled on as your cries only got louder and louder, lost in the sensation of him and his arms wrapped around you and thrusting into you like your lives depended on it.

“You feel so good – so good – don’t stop please don’t stop oh god, oh god. I’m gonna come again.” You whimpered into his neck, your nails scratching down his back and he groaned at the sensation, telling you to keep it up. “Just like that Songbird. Sing for me. I want to hear what you sound like when you come from my cock.” He growled against your ear. So you did, you pulled back, reasting your forehead against his and let out a silent scream as your walls clamped down around his length, noting how he groaned and fucked you faster through your orgasm. The image of how you looked as you came around his cock burning behind his eyelids as he finally came himself, feeling you up with his seed, collapsing on top of you unceremoniously before rolling off of you and pulling out slowly.

He opened his arms and smiled softly as you scooched into them, letting your own arms warp around his back, tracing lazy circle in the afterglow as he kissed your forehead.

“You know, I’m glad we got engaged.” You mumbled sleepily and he couldn’t’ help but laugh.

“Me too songbird. I love you.”

"I love you too.”

This as a good start to your new life. You couldn’t help but think as you drifted off into the arms of your finacee.

#tokoyami fumikage #tokoyami fuikage x reader #bnha #bnha smut #bnha imagine #mha imagine #server collab #mha imagines #mha smut #tokoyami #tokoyami imagine #tokoyami fumikage imagine

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myaekingheart · 3 years

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20 [Fanfic Writer] Questions Game

Thank you so much for tagging me, @lemony-snickers! This is tons of fun, I love answering these kinds of big questionnaires 😂💕 Also putting mine under a cut because there’s a lot of questions and I like to ramble.

Also gonna go ahead and just tag whoever wants to do this! 😅💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of August 27, 2021, I have a total of 77 works on my AO3!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Funny enough, I was just looking at this, specifically, earlier today and kind of laughing about it. Right now, my total word count across all my works is 1,148,941 😬

3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Apparently 12, but some of them I don’t really consider “big” in my fandom repertoire. Naruto is my greatest fandom with a total of 60 fics so far, followed by The Chronicles of Narnia and Rise of the Guardians. The rest are ones I either did crossover fics with or just did one-off little pieces with--The Incredibles, Tangled, Brave, How to Train Your Dragon, Arthurian Mythology, Disney Princesses, Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms, Back to the Future, and Frozen.

4. What are your Top Five fics by kudos?

The Scarecrow and The Bell (Naruto) - 470 kudos The Day Kakashi’s Mask Slipped (Naruto) - 139 kudos Sunflowers (Naruto) - 92 kudos Sakumo the House Husband (Naruto) - 81 kudos Someone to Lean On (Naruto) - 67 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments, because I like to acknowledge when people respond to my work. I cherish comments like nobody’s business, especially when they’re kind and reactionary. I just really love seeing/hearing what people think of the way a story is progressing, or what they thought of a one-shot. Comments keep me going especially when it comes to longfic so I want to be able to let readers know that I do in fact see their comments, that I’m acknowledging what they’re saying, and that I appreciate them. Plus, it can be kind of fun to tease upcoming events in a fic through responses to people’s comments, too. Because I’m mean.

6. What fic have you written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Hothouse (Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles; Jack Frost x Violet Parr; American Horror Story AU). This was the first multi-chaptered fic I ever wrote to completion and I honestly cringe when I remember it exists both because it’s so poorly organized (and full of nasty plot holes) and because I just went ham on the gore factor. It definitely has a really bittersweet and heartbreaking ending to it, too.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think I’ll definitely have to say Temptation. The story itself was kind of a ride, and it’s only the first installment in a series, but it follows the plot of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe but remixed due to the presence of an original character, but the ending is still roughly the same as the original: they defeat the evil, the Pevensies are all crowned kings and queens, happy days. Reading the last few paragraphs of the last chapter honestly still gets me all up in my feelings.

8. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to be more of a crossover writer due to one of my main ships being a crossover ship. They weren’t super crazy, though, because they were both CGI-animated films. The craziest crossover I’ve ever written is an in-progress/unfinished multichapter piece, Kakashi, Enchanted, that sees our favorite Copy Ninja get kamui’d into the Disney princess dimension and has to help the likes of Snow White, Cinderella, and Rapunzel on his journey to find a way back to his own world. It’s a super weird premise but definitely one of my more lighthearted works and fun to revisit when I need to decompress.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think I’ve ever received hate so much as I’ve received criticism. The closest I ever got to hate on a fic, I think, was someone left an overly personal and mentally disturbed comment on a chapter of my main fic that made me convinced they needed to seek therapy and deal with their own personal issues rather than take it out on a fanfic about animated ninjas.

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Maybe 👀 I’m super vanilla when it comes to smut, though. I think the wildest thing I’ve ever written in smut is breeding kink.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and I hope I never will.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! I had someone ask to translate a one-shot of mine in Russian but I never got a response back when I laid out my terms and conditions.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! I used to do paragraph-style roleplay which was kind of like cowriting fanfiction but writing is so personal and sacred to me that I don’t know if I could ever actually cowrite a fic with someone. I like brainstorming with other people, but writing for me is more of a deeply personal and independent endeavour.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god, this is a tricky question because it depends on fandom. I absolutely love New Dream (Rapunzel x Eugene, Tangled) and have for the past ten years, and my love for them as only grown since watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. I don’t write or even really read a ton of fanfiction for them, though. I’m also still highly dedicated to my favorite crossover crackship, Frostfield (Jack Frost x Violet Parr, Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles) and to this day, if you search for that ship on AO3, I am the sole provider of every single fic about them so far. I’m not as active with them as I used to be, but they got me through some really rough times back in the day and still mean so much to me. A lot of my favorite ships across fandoms, though, are honestly canon x OC ships of mine because I am a self-indulgent bitch who needs to project. So Peter Pevensie x Eilonwy (The Chronicles of Narnia) and Kakashi Hatake x Rei Natsuki (Naruto) are really important to me and I’ve poured so much of myself specifically into their stories. I think it’s safe to say Kakashi and Rei is my all-time favorite ship across all fandoms, though, just because of how much their story means to me. The Scarecrow and The Bell is my magnum opus, my pride and joy, and I’m sure it will be my biggest fandom footprint of my entire life. I’ve dedicated the past three years to this story and these characters and I intend to continue doing it until it no longer brings me joy (which I hope it always will). There’s just so much I could say about this story and Kakashi and Rei’s relationship but I don’t think we have enough time or space in this post for that 😅 Just know that they mean the world to me and I will always hold them in the highest regard as a beautifully messy, flawed, passionate, soulmate-y ship that I love with all of my heart 🥺

EDIT: I also feel obligated to tack on some of my absolute favorite Naruto ships because I may not have written for all of them (yet) but they still make me unbelievably happy or I find them really compelling and enjoy the idea of exploring them:

Naruhina is precious happy sunshine and The Last honestly felt like a wonderful Disney princess movie to me, it was so cute and the romance was so on-point, Naruhina just makes me so incredibly happy and I love them with all my heart.

MinaKushi also gets me all up in my feels and I adore them with every fiber of my being. Their romance also gave me Disney princess movie vibes which I love, their story is just so damn sweet as is their character dynamic and I am still so heartbroken that they never got to be a happy family with Naruto because you know what? It’s what they deserved!

SasuSaku is so compelling to me and I really feel like we were cheated out of seeing their relationship develop and evolve postwar in the same way The Last did for Naruhina. They’re my favorite angst ship and while I don’t think they were written that well in canon, I love the possibility and potential of them together and am excited to explore them more in-depth in my own writing.

NejiTen is just too cute, I really love the way Neji and Tenten’s personalities compliment each other? I don’t have much else to say about them except that I really love them together and think they have so much untapped potential that I also can’t wait to explore in more depth in my own writing.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Paper Hearts and Impromptu Bookmarks, probably. I love the premise of this story a lot and I have so many interesting ideas for it but at the same time, it also feels kind of cheap and cringey to me, in a way? It takes all of these ideas I probably would have had if I had been into Naruto when I was a kid and kind of compiles them all into one big story. Kakashi and Aiko’s relationship and story is still really important to me and I want to continue it someday but for right now, I just haven’t had the motivation or desire to write any more of it. I think I’m just so overwhelmingly preoccupied with writing Kakashi and Rei’s story that I can’t imagine writing any other Kakashi x OC fics right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I want to say that I’m really good at capturing complex emotion? I don’t know, I write a lot of angst and mental upheaval in my fics which can be really difficult to try and capture, but I think I do a decent enough job of it? And just writing difficult subjects in general. I think it’s really important to address difficult topics such as mental illness and relationship difficulties and everything but I also want to try and write those topics in a way that is both authentic to the experience while also still tasteful. I don’t want to drive readers away with heavy subject matter but rather present a situation that feels real and authentic while also still being digestible. I may not be doing a very good job of that during the current arc of my fic that I’m working on, but I’m trying haha

EDIT 2: I also want to add onto this to say that I’m really proud of my organizational techniques for writing longfic. It’s not necessarily a strength in terms of the prose itself but it’s something that’s taken me years to really get a grasp on and find a method that works perfectly for me and so far, it’s been extremely helpful and beneficial to me. I don’t know where I would be now as a writer without these essential tools in my pocket.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I do a really bad job of the “show, don’t tell” thing. It can be really hard to balance descriptive prose with straightforward writing that moves things along. I don’t want to dwell on mental dialogue to the point where you lose track of what’s going on, but I also don’t want my stuff to read like “Character A did xyz. Character B said abc. They went to 123″, whatever. Another thing I struggle with is sentence variation. I always fall into the same patterns when I’m writing prose and I get really self-conscious about it because I don’t want to sound repetitive or disrupt the flow of the writing. One of my favorite things about prose is focusing on the cadence of the words, I think it’s one of the most beautiful things about writing in general, but it can just be really difficult to get a good grip on that. I’ve been told in the past that I apparently have a really good grasp/control of the language or whatever but sometimes I just find that really hard to believe when I look at my work with such scrutiny. I think one of my biggest pet peeves with my own writing, too, is feeling like I start all of my sentences the same five different ways. I’ll read other people’s works and they’ll write sentences like “Glass-blue water lapped against the shores of a deserted beach as a lonely woman gazed off into the distance” and I can just never figure out how to realistically write sentences that start like that in the context of my prose and it drives me fucking crazy, like I’m definitely jealous 😅

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really thought much about it before, but I think there are pros and cons! For bilingual/multilingual readers, I think it can be a really enriching reading experience because they know what’s being said in both languages. For people who only know one language, however, unless a translation is provided, I feel like it can be really alienating. I think the best use of that for both worlds is using it as a means for miscommunication humor. Other than that, I think it can be a slippery slope that depends on what kind of reader you are and how it’s written.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Chronicles of Narnia! My very first fanfiction was a Narnia fanfic that I barely remember except that it laid the basis for Temptation and my Narnia fanfic series as a whole. I never posted this first iteration anyway, but I remember it was 2008/2009 and I wrote a solid 80 pages (which was wild for me at the time) and had gotten halfway through remixing the events of Prince Caspian when my computer crashed and I lost absolutely everything. I’m still heartbroken that it’s gone forever, not because I’d want to go back and read it necessarily (since I’m sure it was actually hot garbage) but at least for nostalgia’s sake. Either way, like I said, this long-lost fic laid the basis for the very first fanfiction I ever posted, the first published (and never finished) iteration of Temptation back in 2011 on deviantART and the since-defunct Figment. I fell out of the fandom around 2012/2013 and left the story alone for a while before ultimately deciding to completely redux and rewrite the story when the fixation swung back around again between 2016 and 2018.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Despite the fact that it’s still in-progress, definitely The Scarecrow and The Bell. This fic just genuinely means so damn much to me and I will cherish it for the rest of my life because of how much it’s given me, how much love and passion and time and even parts of myself that I have poured into this, and also just how expansive of a story this is. Not only does it touch on some very dark and heavy topics, but I’ve also created so much of my own characters and meta for this story that it’s almost an entire universe in and of itself. I’ve just contributed so much additional world-building and created so many new OCs to fill important roles in this story and in Rei’s life, and they’ve all become so deeply important to me as they’ve developed further over the years. I’ve come up with so many interesting ideas for everyone and their lives, which are all slowly becoming so rich and varied. Not to mention that it’s my most popular fic to date as well as my longest fic at 632k and counting. I’ve really just genuinely poured so much of my heart and soul into this story, it’s my absolute favorite thing I’ve ever done and I really mean it when I say that I will cherish it for the rest of my life.

#tag games #ramblings

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personasintro · 4 years

Text

My Tiny Secret | 13; Not Welcomed

𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 13; Not Welcomed

⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.

⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader

⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut, mistress au, unexpected pregnancy au

⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: toxic relationship, strong language

⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙

buy me a coffee?♡

The packages looks exactly the same for him, the only difference is various kinds of brand and pictures decorating the same thing. He can’t even tell the difference between those sizes — just another thing that makes him frown and groan in frustration.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know which ones are right?” he asks through clenched teeth, muting his voice down when a woman with toddler attached to her hip passes by his frustrated and puzzled figure.

If Namjoon could see him right now, he would laugh his ass off. Never in a million years he thought he would be standing in this kind of aisle, completely confused and so out of place.

“I showed you the package!” you exclaim at the other side, your sigh of disbelief booming through Seokjin’s phone speakers.

“I fucking know that!” he exclaims back while a woman that’s grabbing one of the packages from the aisle gives him a glare, but he could care less. He looks away with coldness in his eyes, rubbing his eyes with his free hand that’s not holding his phone.

You specifically showed him the exact diapers package he needs to buy, even described it when he had it in front of his face. It caused him to snap at you ‘I’m not an idiot for fucks sake, I get it’, that’s what he told you. It turned out that he didn’t get it and is, an idiot after all. You would like to point that out, but you bite into your lip in amusement at his distressed tone. It kind of makes you wish you were there to witness it with your own eyes.

“I’ll send you a photo of it,” you sigh at the other side, the rustling sound can be heard before Yoojin’s soft whimpers follows right after. “I know baby, you’ll have to wait. Your daddy can’t remember a single package.”

He hears the amusement in your voice, the way you try to hide a giggle but he ignores it at the name you called him. Daddy. It’s so weird hearing that. It’s been a month since he became a father, but it still comes as shock that he can never fully recovers from. Still, the corner of his mouth twitches at the new nickname, a weird tension clenching his chest.

“You’re coming with me next time.” he grumbles before he can fully dwell on that new feeling, shifting on his spot as he stares at the baby that’s on one of the diaper packages.

Yoojin is cuter, he thinks as he hears you humming in agreement before you curse under your breath.

“Someone’s knocking, I’ve to go.” he hears you mumbling, the same rustling sound reaches his ears and he wants nothing more than to grumble in annoyance, but his eyes widen instead.

“What-- no-- what am I supposed to do? Send me that damn picture.” he stutters over his words, face red with frustration.

“Ask someone.” you quickly tell him before the line is dead, his eyes closing as he tries to calm down himself.

You were his only hope and now he’s stuck in the middle of grocery shop in front of diapers, babies on the packages looking at him. Fuck, he never felt so ridiculous. He’s starting to regret his offer of buying diapers for Yoojin once you found out there are only few left. Something he noticed is, that small babies use a lot of diapers throughout the day.

“Hello, sir. Do you need some help?” A cheerful lady with a name tag on decorating her red shirt reaches him. She must’ve seen him struggling for the past ten minutes that he’s been standing in the same spot, glaring at the various types of diapers. Ten tremendous minutes that he’s been too cocky not to call you straight away, since he thought he won’t need your help. It turned out that he did need it and well, still needs it since you declined the call.

“Err, yeah.” he says, preparing to embarrass himself in front of her as she keeps smiling at him — too much for his liking. Doesn’t her cheeks hurt from all that smiling?

“Well, what size do you need?” she asks, understanding that he’s looking for the right package and size.

How can buying a diapers be hard? Yeah, he thought. That’s what he gets for being too cocky and confident.

“Well-- I-- I’m not sure.” he mutters, scratching the back of his neck as he avoids her big eyes.

“It’s okay,” she smiles, “How old is your baby?”

He already feels annoyed by the amount of questions and her overly cheerful expression that she’s obviously faking just because it’s her job. Still, she’s his only hope.

So with that thought, he sighs and gives her an answer. “He’s newborn. Well, one month old.”

Wow, is he already one month? He wonders as she nods and already reaches for one of the packages.

“This one should be perfect.” she says, handing him the item before he takes it and examines it with curious eyes.

He looks at the price, not surprised she gave him the more expensive ones but he doesn’t care. As long as it the good size, he’s going to pay anything.

“You sure? He’s really tiny.” he says, turning it around to read the description that’s written on the backside.

The saleswoman smiles at him while he’s busy reading the back of package with a small frown settled on his thick brows. “Well, if it’s wrong you can always return it. Just don’t forget to take receipt with you.”

He barely manages to thank her before she disappears behind another aisle, leaving him alone with diapers package in his arms.

Fuck it, he thinks as he goes with the one she handed him while he makes his way to cashier.

The timing of the knock couldn't be worse, considering the unstoppable wailing that comes from the baby in your arms as you try to open the door with him in your arms.

You mumble repeated apology to your son, your lips brushing over his soft hair as you finally open the front door with a sigh of relief. The person behind the front door has a raised hand, probably ready to knock again since you took your time answering the door. But you don't have enough time to think about it for too long, surprised by the sudden visit you've never expected.

Your best friend stands in the front door, which brings a complete shock to you since his first and last visit was the day you moved it. You haven't seen him for weeks, at least in person, only through the screen of your phone.

Missing Hoseok is daily part of your life, especially during times when Seokjin goes home. Back to the times when you were living together, you never felt lonely. Not in the way you do right now.

He hasn't changed much, he looks exactly the same way he always does and you almost blurt 'what are you doing here' but stop yourself at the very last minute. It might sound rude and you're nothing than happy to see him standing in front of you.

“Hobi,” you breathe out, a large smile spreads across your chapped lips. “You're here.” you say with disbelief and happiness in your voice while he gives you a soft smile.

“Yeah, dropped by the last minute. Am I interrupting?” he asks, hiding his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he eyes Yoojin squirming in your arms.

He probably thinks he does at the sight of your bare exhausted face with baby crying while you pat his back to calm him.

“No! Of course not! Come in!” you say quickly, opening the door wider for him as you watch him cautiously cross over threshold.

He doesn't hug you, silently taking off his super clean sneakers to yours which makes you slightly frown. He's acting weird and considering he came to visit you, the lack of enthusiasm makes you feel tense. Maybe he doesn't miss you as much as you miss him, maybe he's glad he doesn't have to take care of you anymore.

Yoojin's wails turn into loud cries and you cringe at the volume, a look of distress dominating over your exhausted face when you look at Hoseok. “He's hungry. I have to feed him.” you apologize to him.

“No worries, I'll wait.” he gently says, fingers running through his lock that seemed to be longer and you wonder if he plans to grow it out.

“Thanks,” you smile at him, bouncing Yoojin as you're ready about to step into the bedroom before you turn around to look at him. His eyes are already on yours, their warmth lacking of something. “You can sit down or anything you want.” you tell him causing him to nod in appreciation before you're rushing to feed Yoojin.

It takes only ten minutes until he burps, his cries no longer existing as you step into the living room where Hoseok patiently waits and sits on the couch. He's occupied with his phone, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration before he looks up meeting your eyes.

His eyes soften at the sight of Yoojin and it makes you slightly relax, just a tiny bit. “He grew up so much.” he comments as you make your way to him to sit next to him.

“Really? Seokjin says he's tiny.” you say without realization, until the words leave a weird taste in your mouth as you look in alarm at your best friend.

He doesn't seem to react, his eyes focused on your son as he stares with look of adoration.

“Do you wanna hold him?” you ask softly and he nods with no hesitation which makes you smile.

He carefully takes him, supporting his head and back before he's pressed against his chest. It's nice to see him remembering all the important facts. Despite of his sudden visit, and mostly weird behavior, you smile at both of them finding the sight in front of you adorable and touched. But as you carefully eye Hoseok you know he doesn't came here for a simple visit, since he sort of avoids your eyes.

Over the years of knowing him, you just know there's something else that bothers him and you've no idea what that is. The only option is to ask and for couple of minutes in utter silence, you're trying to find the guts to do it.

“I didn't know you were planning on visiting. I would've bake you your favorite cheesecake.” you nervously smile, your voice thick and complete contrast to the silence between you two.

He looks up, causing your breath to hitch at the weird look in his eyes. His throat moves each time he gulps while his face twitch in the weirdest grimace as if he was in the pain.

“I didn't plan it.” he decides to speak, his tone dry as he cringes at it.

Is he trying to be cold to you for some reason? Because he's doing an awful job at it when he seems to be regretful right after he opened his mouth.

It's unusual to see him being so distant, but it's enough to create a weird lump in your throat.

“What--”

“Open it.” he cuts you off, pulling out a folded paper that's wrinkled by the pocket of his jeans.

He throws it on the couch, the paper landing just couple of inches from your thighs as you give him a look of utter confusion. But you don't question him any further, reaching towards the paper. As you slowly unfold it with knitted brows, your eyes widen as you finally read what's written on there. Opening your mind, you're not sure what you're about to say, you just know you've to explain it.

“What the hell, Y/N?” he asks, brows furrowed so much that you've never seen him being so angry – at least not to you.

He never looked at you this way and it only makes you want to shrink and hide.

It's a printout of his bank account, coming and incoming transaction as the huge number on the paper screams at you.

You surely knew he wouldn't be happy once he finds out, but you never expected him to come here and be so angry with you. Nevertheless, you don't feel like you've done something wrong.

It was a few days back when you finally got the time to sit down and transfer the money Seokjin gave you, to Hoseok's bank account. You've wanted to do it ever since he gave you the money, to repay your best friend for everything he has done for you and Yoojin. If it weren't for him, God knows how would everything turn out.

You completely forgot that you've sent him that money in the first place and judging by Hoseok pissed off look, he probably found out just today.

“Hobi--”

“I'll transfer that money back.” he cuts you off, his jaw tightly set as he pats Yoojin's back.

“What? No!” you protest right away, scowling at your best friend which mimics your expression.

You've never really got into fight with him, there never was a reason to, and you surely believe there isn't right now.

“The money is for you. I told you I would pay you back and honestly, this is the least I can do for you. You deserve them, Hobi.”

“I don't want them. You should have them. Buy something for Yoojin, yourself or just leave them in your bank account. I don't care, I don't want any money from you.” he's determined, his eyes burning yours as he makes sure to emphasize every word.

“We don't need them.” you tell him softly, scooting closer to him as you place your hand over his knee.

It makes you realize how much you've missed his warmth and proximity. He is the only person who would embrace you in a hug, the only person that makes you feel loved and appreciated. Feeling him even through the fabric of his jeans is enough to make you emotional, because you miss your best friend. You miss having him close and cuddle to you while watching boring movies and TV shows. You miss living with him, not caring that his apartment isn't as big as yours and not fitted for three people.

Even Hoseok himself, seems to relax under your touch while his eyes stay on yours. But there's still that irritated darkness in his eyes.

“We're fine.” you assure him, his eyes leaving yours to look around.

His eyes set on the picture of you and him, that's been there from the day one. It brings a soft smile on his lips, enough to make you do the same as he sighs.

You and Yoojin are really fine. And by that you mean you're being taken care of well.

Seokjin makes sure there's nothing missing for his son. He visits more often, mostly during weekends and later in the evening after he's done in the company. You even went for a small walk in the nearby park together, which was really awkward at first. To walk side by side with Kim Seokjin while pushing Yoojin's pram, in front of neighbors who couldn't help but turn around with shocked expression every time you passed by them. It felt awkward, weird but nice at the same time.

There's nothing much you both talked about, the only topic of your conversation was Yoojin himself. It surprised you, because Seokjin took a huge interest in his son as he asked the most detailed questions. You answer all of them casually, although you were freaking out inside.

“I-- it's a lot. I can't take it.” he manages to choke out, his eyes widely open once he looks back at you.

It's a lot – but still enough for everything that he has done for you.

“You can and you will.” you smile up at him, your eyes boring to each other with so much intensity to see who will budge first but you're stubborn to do so.

“Half,” he decides to say. “I'll take.. only half of it.”

He doesn't look comfortable with his own proposition, showing discomfort on his face but you can happily agree with him. It's a progress he even agreed to take the money – at least some of it. With cheerful squeal, you hug him as much as you're allowed considering he's holding Yoojin. He shakes his head at you, a playful grin shining your way at your stubbornness while he pulls you closer to him with his free hand. You both sigh in happiness, the familiar scent of his favorite cologne is like a peaceful smell for you.

“I've missed this.” you mumble, boring your head into his chest as your nose nudges Yoojin's small hand.

“Me too, I missed you guys,” he says back immediately, hand caressing your shoulder in calming manner as you feel him snuffling your hair. “It feels lonely without you.”

He's talking about his home, causing your heart to shiver at the way he says it. It makes you sad that you've left him and although, you can't complain about how you live right now, you still miss him. That will never change. You both got so used to living together that now it feels lonely and weird. But you both always knew that time will come.

“I miss this baby pumpkin.”

As you look up, you see him admiring your son with heart-shaped eyes but you see the slightest glimpse of sadness in them. “You should visit more often.”

“Mhm, maybe I should.” he hums, kissing the top of your head as you giggle, the both of you grinning at each other. God, you missed him.

Hoseok has always been very affectionate, the both of you are to each other. It's just the way the two of you are – not anyone would truly understand it. Not everyone would get the fact that you're comfortable with each other.

“What the fuck?”

The loud booms between the walls, breaking apart the two of you as you jump away from Hoseok in shock. Seokjin stands between the living room and corridor with a huge look of disapproval and anger, his eyes deadly set on Hoseok. You can't seem to bring yourself to check on Hoseok, your eyes focused on the father of your child and his growing scowl. He looks intimidating, causing your throat to go completely dry for some goddamn reason.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” he impatiently asks, the intensity in his voice is much bigger now as he stares back at you – sending daggers your way.

It's only now when you notice the huge package of diapers in his arms and if it were under different circumstances, you'd laugh at the rare sight in front of you. But you can't find anything amusing, especially right now when Seokjin looks like he's planning Hoseok's death. This is what you wanted to never happened, the two of them meeting since you're pretty aware of the grudge they hold against each other. It completely blew out of your mind that Seokjin is supposed to come here.

“Seokjin, please--” You're not sure what you're begging him for, but you don't want him to cause a scene even if there's just the three of you. Plus Yoojin, who luckily doesn't seem to be affected by the sudden loudness.

“Why the fuck is he holding my son?” he growls, taking a few steps forward as you're quick to jump on your feet.

Before he can truly charge at your best friend who seems to be awfully quiet about the whole situation, your hand is firm against his hard chest as you stop him.

“Our son,” you remind him with a frown and stern voice as he looks down to take a glance at your irritated gaze. “And stop making a scene. Hoseok is my best friend and he came to visit us, whether you like it or not.” you speak slowly, but firm and loud enough for everyone in the room to hear you.

You really want to check on Hobi, but your eyes are set on Seokjin as he challenges you with his firm and dark eyes. His jaw clenches and unclenches, complementing with himself.

“You told me this is my home,” you speak, the darkness of his eyes shifting between yours. “If I want him here, he's going to be here. If you have something against this, I can pack my stuff and leave.”

“Are you threatening me?” he scoffs.

You've no idea what's going on in the man's head, but he probably thought of it as you taking Yoojin away from him which is ridiculous, because you don't live together. Maybe he thinks you won't allow him to see him, which is again – ridiculous. You wouldn't do that, at least not now considering how they've just started to bond together more. Yoojin brings a different side of Seokjin, unrevealed and new one.

“I'm informing you.” you correct him and it causes him to scoff again, but he holds his ground and slightly relaxes underneath your palm.

Forgetting that you never moved your hand, you cautiously do with a sigh before you turn around to glance at Hoseok who stares at your interaction with unreadable gaze. He stands up, careful not to drop Yoojin as he smiles down at him before he walks closer to the both of you. Your breath is caught in your throat while you cautiously watch him, slowly handing Yoojin to his father. He drops the packages onto the floor with a huge smack, greedily taking Yoojin from Hoseok's hands.

“Hey, kiddo. It's daddy.” he doesn't forget to emphasize, glaring at Hoseok while you glare at him for making unnecessary comment. Hoseok is more than aware of Seokjin's position in Yoojin's life, there's no need for him to remind everyone around him.

“I'm gonna go,” Hoseok speaks with soft voice, hand caressing your touch as he draped an arm over your shoulder to bring you to a faint hug. You're about to tell him he doesn't have but he only shakes his head at you, smiling at the distress and determination on your bare face.”I'll come later, yeah?” he assures you and with a weak nod, you smile at him.

He leaves, your heart dropping when you hear the front door closing as you glare at Seokjin. “Was that necessary?” you snap, irritated when he only looks at you with a pleasant look.

“Actually, I think it was.” he mutters sarcastically, hinting at something with the roll of his eyes which you're not sure what's that about.

Your blood boils inside of you, angry from what has just happened and the fact Hoseok must've left because there was no choice. He could stay but it wouldn't do any good and you know he made the right decision to leave. You just feel angry that he felt like he's not welcomed here, thanks to Seokjin.

“It wasn't. Hoseok is my best friend and he'll get to see Yoojin whenever he wants to. He was there for me during my pregnancy and after it. He has done so much for the both of us,” you glance at Yoojin before you continue. “So stop acting like a fucking prick.” you snap at him.

“If you just told me about your pregnancy in the first place, I could've been the one who would take care of you.” he snaps back, glaring at you.

“You mean, before you tried to buy my son from me or after that?” you mockingly ask him, a shame flashing in his eyes as he looks away with locked jaw.

Bingo.

“Look, it doesn't matter now. All I want for you to act decent if the two of you are going to meet in the future. It's for Yoojin's sake as well. He's too little right now but I don't want him to grow up and see the hate between you two.”

The fact that you don't scream at him and not letting your frustration to get the best of you says a lot about your patience. But you need him to understand this. He isn't stupid but he's Kim Seokjin. Nothing is ever easy with him.

He's silent, cuddling to Yoojin as his plump lips touch his soft hair. You try not to melt at the pure sight and not let your guard down as you stare at him with intense glare. His eyes shift between you and the wall behind you as the wheels are running in his mind. But you don't budge, lifting your brow in waiting manner as he rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” he doesn't say anything else, nibbling on his bottom lip to calm down himself as you sigh in relief.

You're on your way to the kitchen to cook the chicken soup, knowing Seokjin will stay for lunch before you pause and call out his name. “Oh, and stop being fucking possessive about me or Yoojin. You don't own anyone.”

And with that, you leave into the kitchen with satisfied smirk on your lips.

taglist: @kpopyandere @btsxarii @nostalgicstudyblr @rkivemagic @0minabean0 @ughtear @queensavage1245 @choppe96 @mtgforall @jalexa83 @euphoriugh @baekimseokjin @quirkyanya @ladyartemesia @seoulazzyy @sinstae @betysotelo18 @ephyra1230 @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore @nooooooooona @starry-magicshop @rjsmochii @lilsxtan @ephyra16 @fujispacebuns (it won’t let me tag you)

(comment on the most recent chapter to be added)

#bts smut #bts angst #seokjin x reader #bts au #kim seokjin au #bts drabble

714 notes · View notes

fandom-space-princess · 3 years

Text

fic writer interview

tagged by @sinaesthete - thanks boo 💕

How many works do you have on AO3?

18. Somehow. I only started posting them in January, which means I've been averaging more than 2 per month?! Granted, most of them are one-shots, but still. Bonkers.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

79,889. I have contributed one novel's worth of questionable fandom content to the greater ecosystem. Joy unbounded.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

The only fics I've published where anyone else could see them (or finished, for that matter) are for Supernatural. Others exist. I may even dredge them out into the light one day. Especially the Dragon Age ones, when DA4 comes out and inflicts some inevitable violence upon my poor little heart.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In descending order:

- Wayward Family: (T, 31589 words/26 chapters) Sitcomnatural, aka Seven Fools In A Bunker AU. Stream-of-consciousness first drafts from the beginning of the year, when I was starting to catch up on the show again after having dipped out sometime around season 6-7ish originally. I honestly expected zero readership for this, and was pleasantly surprised that so many people responded so well to it. Because I was definitely still knocking the dust off my writing skills at that point, lol. Maybe one day I'll go back to it and make it better - there's definitely stuff I'd do differently next time around.

- Some Live Like Orpheus: (T, 6193 words/1 chapter) Adam rescues Michael from the Empty, featuring Adam as Orpheus and Michael as Eurydice, with special appearances from Jack and the Shadow. The first thing I wrote that I was really, genuinely pleased with myself over.

- Vox Celeste: (E, 1909 words/1 chapter) Midam smut. PWP, in fact. Lyrical, pretty smut (or at least, that's what I was going for), but all the same.

- The First Day of the Rest of Your Afterlife: (T, 4558 words/1 chapter) Sequel to 'Orpheus'. Michael and Adam having their happily-ever-after together. This might be the most utterly self-indulgent fluff I have written. I love it.

- Two Weddings and an Engagement: (T, 7812 words/1 chapter) Written for the tumblr Midam wedding day. The Love Is Requited, They're Just Idiots - truly the most trope of all time. Featuring background sabrileena, because I am a joyful polyamorous disaster bisexual and I think they should all get to be, too.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Uh. To my great shame, I mostly don't. I always want to - the fact that people take time to comment on my writing is not lost on me as an act of love involving effort, and I can't express how much it means to me. I read and cherish every single comment I get. But interacting on AO3 takes a lot of spoons for me for some reason - and usually I just. Don't have it in me.

I'm working on it.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't write much angst, because I am first and foremost a cinnamon roll in need of fluff and comfort. But it does happen occasionally. I think the angstiest fic is Reliquary - more of a ficlet, really, since it's only about 600 words. But they're 600 words of Major Character Death, and I made myself cry writing it, so probably that one.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Nah. Not really my jam.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No direct hate! The closest I've gotten was someone getting rude about characterization, which was more funny than anything else. What a strange thing to pick a fight over.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Quite happily, yes. I find physical intimacy to be very fulfilling, personally, and writing about my characters having those experiences themselves is fun.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge...?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I kind of suspect I'd be a nightmare to co-write anything with. My writing brain works when it wants to work, not when I want it to work necessarily. And I have no way of predicting when that will be.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I have a terrible time choosing favorites of anything, so I aggressively multiship. That said, in spn? Michael/Adam. Very closely followed by (exclusively S5 & earlier) Lucifer/Sam.

Outside of Supernatural, it's kind of a tossup. Probably the DA2 OT5 polycule (Hawke/Anders/Fenris/Isabela/Merrill). I'm aware this is a ship for insane people; I will not be accepting criticism at this time 💀

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

As of now, I actually plan to finish all my current WIPs! Pyrphoros was in very real danger of ending up in WIP purgatory for a while, but fortunately or unfortunately for everyone involved, Sin read the first chapter and gave me a pile of compliments. So now I am honor-bound to finish it (<creature brain> Friend liked fic must write more fic must please the Friend </creature brain>). It's getting worked on, bit by bit around my other projects, but still. It's happening.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm decent at getting emotions across? I'm also good at vivid visualization - in my head, I can usually see very clearly what I'm trying to describe, and I feel like that's helpful in getting it down effectively. Beyond that, I'm honestly not sure what you'd call my strengths.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have close to zero control over when I'll have both time and motivation to write. Some of that is just the reality of balancing a more-than-full-time job with my hobby. Some of it is the executive dysfunction. But it does mean that when I'll finish anything can be... unpredictable.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I can't do it, and I don't love reading it. If I have to go looking for a translation somewhere in the notes, it wrecks my immersion in the story. No shade to people who do enjoy it; languages are gorgeous, and translations are imperfect at the best of times. Often the language something is written in is inseparable from the tone and cultural context it is meant to convey. But if given the choice, I don't seek it out.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Like I said, Supernatural is the only fandom with anything published. I think the first fandom I ever actually created anything for was Buffy. (Is that cringe? Yes. But consider: I live free of the shackles of shame. I am cringe, and I am happy).

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably one of the mini Midam week ones from earlier this year. Tie between Radio Silence and Every Day's Most Quiet Need, both of which turned out much better than I expected.

Not tagging anybody this time because my brain is currently scrambled eggs, although if anyone wants to do this please consider yourself tagged and feel free!

#long post #thanks for the tag this was fun!#tag game #fsp speaks

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veliseraptor · 3 years

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2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year.

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting.

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment.

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really.

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things.

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year:

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write:

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head.

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January.

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings.

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write:

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment:

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them.

Biggest Surprise:

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

#fanfiction round up #confessions of a frustrated writer #you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later

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monster-bait · 4 years

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I’m an exophilia writer like you, and I like writing intimacy in my work. But sometimes, I feel internally weird/embarrassed/ashamed about writing sex. If you’ve ever felt this way, how’d you get over it/how do you cope with that feeling? I just want to enjoy writing sexy stuff without feeling weird about it. Any tips would be appreciated. Love love love your blog.

Aaaa, Hello, fellow writer! Thank you so much for the kind words!

Okay, so first off...I have been writing for a very long time. Like anything, writing a sex scene is something you have to learn, a skill to develop, and no skill develops overnight. So, if you’re relatively new to writing sex scenes (relativity is relative) then cut yourself some slack. I look back on some of my early smutty scenes and nearly die of cringe. Hell, I look back on smut scenes I wrote last year and want to die of cringe. Our skills are ever-evolving, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.

I’m going to break this answer into two parts: smut-specific and writing intimate scenes in general. Also: what is sexy is subjective. I was asked a very similar question about a year or two ago by a young writer who didn’t have much experience writing intimate scenes, but had one planned for her story. Another writer jumped into the conversation, at which point I bowed out, because she and I had polar-opposite styles and were giving conflicting advice. It played out like this:

Asker: I’m brand new at smut and don’t know where to start, teehee!

Me: be sure to include sensory details and show what you’re comfortable showing!

Other writer: be sure to vividly describe character A’s testicles slapping character B in the face!

😐

Writers giving advice: for the love of Mab, please consider your audience.

Smutty smutness: No, I don’t get embarrassed when I’m writing these scenes. No, I don’t get turned on when I’m writing them, I don’t feel the need to go to church and confess my smutty sins, I don’t need to book quality one-on-one time with myself and a vibrating partner immediately after finishing said scene. Writing, for me, is technical. Writing sex is old hat. Again, I’ve been doing this for a long time. The more you work at it, the easier it gets/those feelings will fade. If you put more of the focus on the craft of writing itself, the subject matter becomes negligible.

But! Within saying that, I think there are some things you can do:

Use language with which you’re comfortable

I will tell you guys right now, there are certain words you will never find in my writing. I don’t find them sexy, and if I don’t find them sexy, I’m not going to use them. I don’t care what other writers do, I don’t care if readers think that’s limiting. Dick sounds like something a 14 year old boy would say. You know what’s not sexy? 14 year old boys. Pussy to my ears is a word for male gaze-driven porn, and has no place in my writing. Cunt has its place when applied well, but if its the only word you know how to use, I’m probably going to stop reading. If you’re describing your female character’s genitalia as a greedy, dripping gash, I can promise you I’m going to stop reading. And that’s fine, because it wasn’t written for me. Don’t use language you’re uncomfortable using. I know that seems small, but it can make a huge difference, and adopting a mindset of staying within the parameters of your comfort and control might lessen the subconscious need to “sound” smutty, if you know what I mean. There is no right way to write, and that includes sex scenes.

By that same token:

Show as much as you’re comfortable showing

There’s nothing wrong with a fade to black. There’s nothing wrong with soft-focus sex. There’s nothing wrong with graphic details either, and you’ve got to figure which of the three (or which combination) works best for you. Think about the difference in the M and E rating on Ao3 for a guide, if that helps. (someone in the audience, find that great post about mailing a letter, pls!) Decide the tone of your scene: Do you want to focus on sensuality or the details of the actions? This is the difference between slowly peeling that quivering-with-anticipation little stamp out of her papery underthings and affixing her gently to the front of the envelope’s broad front; and licking that stamp for all she’s worth, your tongue moving in a frenzy against her stickiness and you can’t tell where your mouth ends and her sticky back begins, the drool from your oral onslaught activating her adhesiveness until she’s stiffened against the envelope, flat on her back and spent, the act complete.

(seriously, someone find that post, it does a much better job than I just did!)

Above all, stay true to your characters, and remember that your writing skills don’t get to take a smoke break just because you’re writing a sex scene...which leads to my secondary set of advice:

(I by no means consider myself an expert in this arena, but here are some things I like to focus on when writing an intimate scene)

Sensory details: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell

A good sex scene needs to be more than “insert tab A into slot B”. Give us a sense of the space, put us into our character’s head. The sensory details you add can paint a very specific picture for your reader, so that one sex scene doesn’t blend into the next. In Girl’s Weekend, I tried to give the sex scenes between Tate & Silva a very distinct feel through the sensory details Silva experiences: she feels small beneath the high ceilings, the bedding in his apartment is always plush beneath her, the lighting is always dim, his hair is silky in her hands, his lips are always sweet. And you know, they’re fucking. But that’s not the only detail I’m focusing on, because that’s not giving insight into her state of mind, and also: it’s boring. Set a scene, tell us where your characters are, what they’re experiencing, if that vase of roses can be smelled from where they are, how the moon cuts through the window to bathe the bed in shadows.

State of mind

You don’t need to exclusively write about genitals mashing together. There was an essay I read million years ago (about the writer’s relationship with her boyfriend and his watersports kink, of all things) that was ostensibly about sex, but the focus was on her state of mind for nearly the entire piece. There’s a scene towards the end when she’s describing the last time they had sex, objectively the best, most satisfying sex they’d ever had, descriptive and hot, the female MC is riding her boyfriend, she’s in absolute ecstasy...but she already feels emotionally disengaged from him and the relationship, and the line I still remember almost two decades I after I read the essay for the first time is “And as I’m loving you, I’m leaving you.” You can still pack an emotional wallop in the midst of a sex scene without needing to stop the action and make your characters have a Serious Conversation™. Show us into their heads! Which leads me to...

Don’t forget about character voice!

If you guys are ever worried that I’ve been body-snatched, just know that if I ever respond to one of these asks and don’t mention character voice, you know it’s not me. Just because you’re describing the hot and heavy stuff doesn’t mean you shut the proverbial bedroom door on your character’s unique voices and personalities. If your character would never engage in dirty talk, don’t force it on them. Tate and Silva have the capacity to be f i l t h y with each other; Khash does to a point, but Lurielle would die laughing of embarrassment. Know your characters!

If you keep the focus on the characters, their voices and actions and thoughts, the fact that someone’s getting their face ridden is going to be a heck of a lot less embarrassing, because you’ve to focus on the writing.

I hope that helps, Anony!

Team, going forward all of your anonymous writing advice asks are going to be fair game to be included in the “For Writers” sections of my (still under construction) website which you should absolutely go visit! ...and sign up for email updates on my publication news, and click some of the other social social media bubbles while you’re there!

#monsterbait answers #writing advice #writing #writing woes #Anonymous

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1soos · 4 years

Text

Wasting Time: Part Deux

type: slice of life, best friends to lovers, eventual smut

pairing: namjoon x reader

warnings/things to look for: there’s a moment where something homophobic could happen, but doesn’t. drug and alcohol use, cursing, eventual sex, movie and music references, other than that this is some real soft

length: 5.3k

summary: Namjoon is your best friend and that comes with a lot of perks and privileges.

a/n: it’s been the hottest minute, but here’s part 2. I do not have it in me to angst this up. Read part one here if you wanna.

Namjoon was gone when you woke up; the spare blanket he’d used in the night folded thoughtfully over the back of the couch. He’d cleared away the chicken containers and the beer bottles and moved the weed to the middle of the coffee table. His delicate care and thoughtfulness sits heavy in your chest, making you feel weird and wishing like hell that it didn’t.

You scoop your piece off the table and take a hit while you make your coffee. You don’t work at the boutique until noon and you aren’t scheduled for the park today, so you decide on a chill morning scrolling through memes on insta. You get stuck on a Raimi Spiderman thread, scrolling endlessly through screenshots of The Goth Dance Moment (^TM) when Lisa throws open the apartment door, the long strap of her purse getting caught on the handle. “I have been fucking for the past 7 hours. I need coffee.”

“Nice,” you say, genuinely impressed and point to the percolator.

Lisa throws her miniscule ‘going out’ purse (really the length of the handle is not proportionate to the actual size of the bag and the ridiculousness of it amuses you) to the floor and whispers, “bless,” as she downs half a cup in one go. She tops herself off and lowers herself gently into the chair across from you.

You sit in silence, every once in a while, turning your phone in her direction when you come across particularly relevant Baby Yoda memes. The moment is broken when Lisa groans dramatically and asks you if she’s on the schedule at the boutique like she’s suddenly remembering that she works there.

You tell her to pull up the spreadsheet that your boss sends to you a week in advance (truly the most organized woman you know) and Lisa tells you, “no.”

Instead of having it turn into A Thing, you open the schedule on your phone. You scan quickly for Lisa’s name color coded in bright blue. “You go in at 5,” you tell her. Kind of disappointed, but not surprised that Sunmi scheduled you in different time slots. Something about not having two crackhead, meme lords in one shift.

“Ugh, fuck. Okay, so I’m going to be dead until at least 4:45. Do not attempt to revive me or I will kill you.”

“That’s a lot of negative death imagery you’re using there.”

“I said what I said."

And like that, she disappears into her room and you’re left overthinking every tiny noise you make until you leave the apartment.

…

One of the things you love about working at the boutique is trying on the clothes. You do a dramatic turn in front of the tri-fold mirror and strike a pose while the extremely see-through, sparkly, tulle skirt shifts around you.

Your co-worker, Bambam, stands behind you, switching between gassing you up and, “wow that skirt does nothing for you. Take it off; I’m gonna try it on.”

“Rude.” You work the elastic of the waistband down over your hips, careful to avoid taking your leggings off with it, and throw the skirt at his head. The fabric muffling the curses he shoots your way. The bell above the shop door chimes, announcing the presence of a potential customer so you leave Bambam to figure his own way out of the mess of tulle.

You put on your best ‘I work in retail and get paid on commission’ smile. “Good afternoon! Welcome to Siren’s! Please let me know if there’s anything I can help you find.” The woman smiles good naturedly back at you and says she’s just looking. She already has some shopping bags loaded up her arms, so you’re feeling pretty good about a sale and place yourself equidistant between her and the cash register while eyeing Bambam over in the corner still struggling with the skirt.

The bell goes off again, to your surprise as there is hardly ever more than one person in at a time.

“Joon?” His presence shocks you and for a moment, you forget about last night. The smile that jumps out is too real; genuine joy filling you up and spilling out. He looks slightly stunned himself.

“What are you up to?” he asks, and you look around at the over-priced clothes all around you and then back to him a little confused.

“Working?”

He blushes and your chest hurts. “Ah, I mean, do you have plans for lunch? Um, I think we need to talk.”

Your stomach feels like its going to fall out of your ass and your thoughts spin around and take off like Road Runner.

Beep beep, bitch.

He wants to tell you how weird last night was. There is this horrible feeling that persists; that he knows how you feel and now he’s uncomfortable. He’s probably going to tell you that he doesn’t see you That Way and that you should just continue being friends. Which is fine; you can take that and so could your friendship. Besides, you haven’t really had the time to examine your feelings for him past the fact that he’s your best friend whom you also might want to kiss right now (and constantly) because he’s being awkward and it’s unfortunately adorable. And that you’re scared, kind of. Whatever is going on between you feels major; like, life altering. You feel a duty to yourself and Namjoon to handle the situation with care, so yeah, you think that talking would probably be good.

You smile again at him, more weighted this time and softly say, “okay.”

Caught in your own feelings, you don’t notice Bambam gliding over to you both.

“Knew it would look better on me.” The fabric flutters beautifully around him though he stopped walking several moments before and you have to admit that it does give him the ethereal look that you were hoping to achieve. You nod, conceding the point.

You subtly try to will him away, but his eyes focus on Namjoon. You can see the moment that Bam recognizes him. Bam doesn’t really run in the same group as Namjoon, but there are a few mutual friends and enough shared drunken moments for him to say hi.

“Woah, Namjoon! What’s up, man? I haven’t seen you since Jackson’s.” Bam wiggles his eyes, dramatically suggestive, making you wonder exactly what happened at Jackson’s.

Namjoon’s eyes go wide and he responds quickly. “Nothing much. Just working. You?”

Bam shrugs and gestures around the boutique. Your eyes follow his hands and you notice that the customer is looking at the skirt that Bambam has on and you really do hope it’s because she wants to buy it. “Did I overhear that you’re going to take this one,”—he points at you and you give an annoyed ‘hey’— “to lunch?”

“Trying to anyway.”

“I forgot about Bam,”—“rude!”—"I don’t want to leave him to work alone.” Bambam once again looks around the almost empty store and then back with an incredulous look at you and a pitying one at Namjoon.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the woman says, but doesn’t actually look very sorry at all. The way she’s eyeing Bambam looks like she’s about to say some shit about the skirt. Your eyes find Bam’s, but he looks ready to do battle. Your adrenaline kicks up a notch and you prepare to throw this expensive looking woman out on her ass if she tries to pull any bullshit. “I noticed you wearing this skirt.” You stop breathing and Bambam goes very still. You fist your hand into the back of his shirt to let him know you’re there, barely registering that Namjoon has placed his hand in the middle of your back in much the same manner. “And I just wanted to say, it looks so good on you! You have a really interesting look. Do you model?”

The collective anxiety that the three of you felt leeches away almost at once. You sag back against Namjoon and he rubs your back. Bambam lights up and tells the woman, “I’ve walked a few runways.” Liar. The most he’d done was a photo shoot for one of those coupon books that goes in the middle of the Sunday paper.

The woman smiles. “Well, if you’d like to walk a few more,” she trails off and hands Bam her card. He raises his eyebrows at the name written there. “Do you have some time right now to talk?”

“Yes!” You interject. “He does. He was just about to go on break.” The woman and Bambam look pleased and as they head out the door, Bam turns, eyes wide and sparkling, and mouths ‘thank you.’

The door chimes shut behind them and you sigh, leaning even further onto Namjoon for a moment, your body giving in to the comfort it wants before your brain reminds you that you shouldn’t be taking advantage. You step away from him and immediately feel colder.

You cough awkwardly and immediately cringe. “Sorry about lunch.”

He smiles down at you and tells you not to worry about it. “I’ve got a plan b. Be right back.”

He drags his hand down your arm as a parting gesture and you try really hard to suppress the shiver that the small act sends through you.

…

While Namjoon is gone, your only customers are two women. One model tall and the other almost a head shorter, holding hands and smiling at each other.

After giving your standard “Welcome to Siren’s” speech, they tell you that their looking for party clothes, you take them to the rack with sparkly dresses and tailored pants and ask them to let you know if they need anything before giving them space.

They go through the rack; the tall woman, seeming to have more fun looking at the clothes than the other who had her clothes picked out in under 5 minutes, balks at the price of a bright sequined number that she had been considering. The other woman places her hand at the small of her back. You can only just hear her ask in a low voice, “do you like it?”

The woman takes a long look at the dress, running her fingers across the sequins. After a moment of consideration, she nods, and the shorter woman takes the dress from her and puts it over her arm where the clothes she’s chosen for herself lay.

They come up to you at the counter and the short woman smiles at you, “just these, thank you.”

You ring up the clothes and give the total. The tall woman looks embarrassed while the other pays with a matte black credit card.

You hand over the bag and tell them to have a good rest of their day and to come back anytime; giving them a genuine smile that most patrons do not get from you.

As they exit, the taller woman says, “I’ll pay you back.”

The other shrugs and says, “okay,” and taps her finger to her pouted lips.

“That’s not what I meant,” she grouses, but the woman pouts harder and taps her lips again. There is an audible sigh and the tall woman leans down and presses a short, sweet kiss into the other’s lips.

They leave and the bell above the door doesn’t ring again until it’s Namjoon that’s coming through it. His dimples pop out as he drops the bag of food onto the counter. The smell hits you and you already know that he’s gone to the Indian restaurant down the street.

“Please tell me that there’s aloo gobi in here,” you say, even as you’re digging through the knotted bag and the excess of napkins that cover the takeout boxes. “Yes!” you exclaim when you open the top container and find the curry dish inside. There’s a brief moment where you wonder if it’s too hot outside to eat something so heavy, but you forget to care, placing your face directly into the Styrofoam container. “You really know me,” you intone dramatically through a comforting mouth full of potatoes and cauliflower.

He huffs, “yeah, I do,” through his own mouthful of what looks like vindaloo.

“What do I owe you?” and even as you ask, your mind supplies a pouty Namjoon asking cutely for a kiss and you flush, eyes almost watering with how much your body craves that contact.

He waves his hand that holds the fork around, brushing away your question, “I was the one who asked. You don’t owe me anything.”

Your brain must short circuit because the words that come out of your mouth cannot be stopped, “But what if I want to owe you something?”

“Are you really about to fight me over, like, eight dollars?”

You stare intently at your food, separating the cauliflower from the potatoes rather than answer.

“Hey,” he says, trying to get your attention. You look up and his eyebrows are scrunched, and lips pursed, an overall confused Namjoon. So fucking cute, lord help you. He looks like his brain is working overtime, but he keeps his mouth shut until he’s chosen what he wants to say. Completely the opposite of you and a quality of his that you usually admire, you really should take a page or two out of his book, but right now you’re on tender hooks waiting for what comes next.

He un-scrunches and looks at you, “What exactly do you want to owe me?”

“I don’t know,” you skirt.

“Hmm.” He stares at you like he’s trying to decipher your soul. It’s…intense.

He looks so serious; it’s intimidating and so much of you doesn’t want to give away your feelings even though you’ve already hyped yourself up to do just that. And no matter how much you want to shut down and deflect, you owe it to yourself and to him to be honest.

You set down your fork and swallow your food. “Okay, so please keep in mind that you’re my best friend in the entire world and you matter more to me than my own feelings.” He straightens up and opens his mouth to say something, but you put up your hand to stop him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do this if I don’t get it all out in one go.” He nods tightly. “I guess I’ll start with the obvious,” you take a deep breath and looks down at your hands knotting and twisting together in a physical manifestation of your anxiety, “I like you. Not in a platonic way. I like you like I’ve had to stop myself from wanting to kiss you at least 3 times in the last hour. I like you like I want to hold your hand and tell you you’re cute when you’re being cute; like I want you to sleep in bed next to me and not on the couch when you stay over. I like you so much that I’ve been trying really hard not to notice it, but I think that last night changed something between us and I think that you noticed too and that’s why you wanted to have lunch with me today.

If that’s not the reason and you wanted to talk to me about something else and you don’t like me the way I like you, I will be really fucking embarrassed, but that’s okay. I can deal with my own feelings, okay?” You stop because you don’t think you can say anymore without accidentally making yourself cry.

“My turn?” he asks after a few moments of silence. You nod and brace yourself. “You said that you wanted to kiss me?” You nod again, daring to look up at him, wanting to see his face even if it might break you. He considers your confirmation. “Something did change last night. I think, that for me, it was the hope that you saw me as something more than a buddy to kick around with because I more than like you.” And then, it’s the way that he breathes out your name that makes a tear slip out and down your cheek. He says it with so much care that you can feel it.

Food forgotten, you move around the counter and into his space, wrapping your arms around his middle and squeezing tightly. “I more than like you,” you say with your face smushed into the warmth of his chest.

His hands come up to frame your face and guides you to look up at him. “When did you want to kiss me?” he asks, and you let out a wet laugh.

“Right now.” You tap your lips and pout and he laughs too, but he leans down and presses his lips to yours. Your eyes close after a moment; he’s too close for you to see properly anyway. It a sweet first kiss, mouths opening just a little, testing boundaries that have been in place for so long that it feels strange to be kissing him.

You’re kissing Namjoon.

You confessed and he likes you back and now you’re kissing and it’s weird, but nice and you feel like you’re going to explode you’re so happy.

You go up on your tiptoes to press more firmly into him and he presses his hands into the small of your back, helping you arch yourself closer. You can feel the difference between your bodies, the plush give of yours to the hard planes of his and all you can think is, “Does this mean I can see your tattoos?” you say against his mouth, words coming out slurred as your lips catch against his, and tug on his shirt so he gets your meaning.

“Baby,” he warns with a smile, and you close your eyes at the pet name, but it makes you remember that, while the store may be empty currently, you are still in public and actually on the clock. “You can look at whatever you like for as long as you like.”

You hide your face in his neck and wonder if he can feel your smile against his skin. You drop a kiss there, at his collar bone because now you can. “I’m really happy. You make me happy.”

He taps your shoulder to get you to look at him. He kisses you softly, barely anything at all and it makes you unsteady. “Always.” The implication of forever makes you want to fall apart in his arms; you want him to make you feel the weight of his forever which is kind of embarrassing. You note that Namjoon Kim makes you disgustingly sentimental.

“Shut up,” you mumble, face red.

“Cute.”

You smack his side until his grip loosens and you’re really looking at each other. “You need to go before I get in trouble.”

He pouts and it’s just so fucking adorable. It’s emotional terrorism is what it is. “Is this how it’s going to be?”

You take your pointer finger and push his lower lip in toward his teeth. “Yeah, I wasn’t allowed to kiss you before, so.”

He smiles and your finger hits his teeth before he grabs that hand and manipulates it into holding his. “You were always allowed; you just didn’t know it.”

You let out an undignified screech and he laughs. “You gotta go, for real.”

He concedes, but not without stealing another kiss. “I’ll see you tonight? I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. I think we still need to talk about some things.”

“Your place?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he agrees as he backs his way through the doors, eyes on you, smiling like an idiot, but you know you are too, the bell chiming as he exits.

…

Bam makes it back before the end of your shift, coming in with a big shit-eating grin on his face. He’s landed an actual modeling gig for an actual brand that you’ve actually heard of and you couldn’t be happier for him.

You part ways at the end of your shift, trading the guard with Lisa and Chung-ha. Lisa slips you some fresh Star Wars prequel memes and you drop that there’s some Indian food up for grabs in the communal fridge.

You don’t say anything about Namjoon. The knowledge your talk brought this afternoon sits so warm and comfortable in your chest you feel like you’re glowing, and you need to keep that cheesy ass sentimental shit to yourself. You can’t stop yourself from wondering about the reactions from your friend group, though. You would think that they’d mostly be positive considering how many times you’d been asked if the two of you were secretly dating.

Damn. Hindsight really is 20/20.

Heading over to his place is different than usual; your stomach full of nervous butterflies. Which is gross and wonderful at the same time. The fact that you could get used to kissing him and being with him the way you want to is so absurd and fantastic that just the thought of being next to him carries you all the way to his apartment.

Even knocking on his door borders bizarre. He opens the door and seeing his face opens you up.

The amount of smiling both of you have done today is obscene—it really is destroying your Bad Bitch persona— but you can’t stop your mouth from turning up, cheeks pushing your eyes almost closed. The good news is Namjoon looks just about the same as he ushers you into the same apartment you’ve visited a million times before.

Once you stop smiling, the anxiety that follows you into new situations starts to pool out from your stomach. You clench your hands together and squeeze, knowing what you want to do with them, but not sure if you should.

“Hi,” he says, stirring the quiet. He reaches his hand out to you, fingers spread in invitation. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and link your fingers with his. It feels weird, but good to squeeze his hand instead of your own.

He leads you over to the couch. He sits first and then you, making sure that there’s a respectable amount of space between you.

Both of you are facing forward, only chancing glances at each other every so often. The awkward silence between you stretches until you can’t take it anymore; feeling like it’s your fault, or rather your duty, to fill the silence.

“So,” you say and trail off. A strong start. “You said we should talk, and I think that’s a good idea.”

He nods but doesn’t add anything.

“It’s kind of strange, right? We’re transitioning from one thing that we’ve been for a really long time, into another, so it’s weird?” He uses his other hand to play with your intwined fingers while you speak, and it distracts you from your nerves. “It feels like it’s happening really fast and like I got so comfortable with the idea of us being more than best friends so quickly and that’s the weird part?” You kind of hate that everything is coming out like a question. You want to say things with certainty, but, fuck, if it wasn’t difficult.

“I think it would help me to know what you’re thinking about all of this,” you finish.

Your hands jostle between you as he shifts his body to look at you. His eyes like magnets, pulling you to mirror his posture; leg tucked under you and fully facing each other.

“It’s weird, but I like it.” It’s your turn to nod, communicating that you feel the same and want him to continue. “I think it’s something that I’ve spent more time thinking about than you. I was fine with how things were, but I’d hoped that we could be more for a while.”

You held his gaze for as long as you could before staring down at both of your hands. Yours almost completely dwarfed by his; long, inked, and beautiful. You think about yesterday, when you were high and tracing his tattoos and how you had no idea that less than 24 hours later you would be holding his hand without needing an excuse.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asks as you bring his hand up to your lips.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t- “you stop because you were going to say that you didn’t know he felt this way, but you’re not sure if that’s true and that just makes you feel worse. You start again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything about it. I’m not sure that I didn’t know that you had feelings, you know? And I’m even more sorry that I ignored the way I feel about you for so long. And I’m scared, but I can’t ignore this,” you shake your tangled hands between you. “I’m sorry you had to wait for me.”

He kisses the corner of your mouth quickly, smiling as he draws back. “I have to apologize for doing the same thing then. I didn’t know your feelings for sure and we’ve always been really close, so it was hard. I had to convince myself that every touch and smile and moment that we got too close was just how we were as friends. But I’m not sure that I didn’t know that you had feelings, either. I think we’re both afraid of the same thing. That things will change; that we’ll be different with each other and we won’t work.

I can’t say that won’t happen because nothing is certain, but I know you and I know us. I think we’ll be okay.”

“God, I really like you.”

Namjoon laughs happily and somehow over the next few moments manhandles you onto his lap. Your arms come naturally around his shoulders just as his go around your waist.

The kiss that comes next feels more reckless than the mini make-out session in Siren’s. You know from the moment he teases your mouth open and slides his tongue in to taste you that you’re his. Every swipe of his tongue feels like a brand making you melt into him.

You break the searing kiss to scoot forward in his lap, pressing yourself against him hip to chest. You wiggle and wish that you could help the gasp that escapes you when you feel him. He’s not even fully hard and you already know that he’s going to be a lot for you to handle. The thought of him inside you, stretching you to your limit, filling you up like you deserve, makes you shy.

You tuck your face into the curve of his neck to hide your rising blush and the want in your eyes.

“Talk to me, baby. What’s going through that head of yours?” He asks, mouth pressed to the top of your head.

You groan and move your hips to try and make it clear what’s going through your head, so you don’t have to say it out loud. The feeling of your underwear moving uncomfortably against your slick folds sending another round of blood to your already heated cheeks. You’re so worked up already and it’s embarrassing. Which seems to be the fucking theme of your life right now. But his hands on your hips tighten, stopping all movement.

You whine and try to move, but his grip is strong. Flitting thoughts of him holding you down with the same strength in his tattooed arms are enough to make you try again for any friction.

And again, he stops you.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I need you to talk to me.”

You lean back and see the tension on his face, the softness that’s usually there, sharpened and dark. A look that you’re not familiar with. You’re struck by how fast this is going. How quickly you went from oblivious to this moment, dry humping your best friend (your boyfriend?).

You feel needy, the unbridled want coursing through you and the ocean in your panties is evidence enough of that but is it too soon to make this jump from platonic to…decidedly not platonic?

Namjoon waits in silence for you to speak. Always handling you with care.

You frame his face with your hands, rubbing the apples of his cheeks with your thumbs. “I’m scared that if we talk about what we’re about to do, we’ll realize that we’re going too fast.”

“Are we?” he asks with real concern, pushing you further down his hips, away from his heat.

“I don’t know,” you say, pouting. For fuck’s sake. You don’t want to have to dissect every move you two make. It doesn’t feel wrong, just weird. “I know that I want you, but if it’s too soon, I can wait until it’s not so odd.” And as much as you don’t want to, you know that you will because, “You’re worth waiting for, Joonie.”

He hugs you and it’s nice. It feels comfortable; not sexually charged, but beautiful. You can feel yourself calming down, the moment of intense need fading into something softer.

“I do want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. I just- I feel like this is a big step and maybe we should think about it.”

You sigh and kiss him quickly twice before hoping off his lap. “Okay, do you want to watch a movie?”

He smiles and agrees easily.

You shift in your seat and remember the slick between your thighs. “Pick a movie while I change?”

“Sure. Any requests?”

“Not Leon,” he scoffs, and you feel the familiarity of your dynamic. You slip into his room and rifle through his drawers for a pair of sweatpants and band t-shirt before going to his bathroom to clean yourself up.

When you emerge, clean and comfy, the main menu for Howl’s Moving Castle is pulled up on the TV. Namjoon is lying across the couch on his side with enough space for you to be little spoon. You feel giddy at his choice of movie, your favorite, and his choice of position. Even though sex is not on the table tonight, you feel the thoughtful intimacy in his deliberateness.

“Hey baby,” he says when he notices you watching him. You marvel at how quickly he fell into calling you the pet name and how quickly you’ve taken to hearing it. Maybe you should pick one for him, too.

You press play and the subtitle button until you see brackets down at the bottom explaining that title music is playing. It’s how Joon likes to watch movies and you’ve watched enough movies with him at this point to prefer it as well.

He pats the empty space in front of him and you go, pushing yourself against him in a different way that still had your heart soaring. You put your head on his bicep and he cages you in, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other around your middle so there’s no danger of you falling off. You shove your legs back to tangle with his and settle in.

Neither one of you says anything until Namjoon says, “that’s my girl,” in synch with Howl and you shiver. You had never been quiet about your crush on Howl or about how hot you found those words.

You turn your head slightly and glare at him. “Are you trying to seduce me with the greatest movie of all time?”

He honest to god smirks and says, “I’ve always wanted to say it to you. And now you are my girl, so I’m not not going to say it.”

“Oh.” He watches you fidget and turn pink.

“Cute,” he says, kisses your burning cheek.

masterlist

a/n: Kim Namjoon cured my two year long writer’s block.

#kim namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon fic #bangtan bookclub #namjoon fluff #namjoon smut #friends to lovers #bts fic #bts fluff #bts smut

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motleyfuckingcruee · 5 years

Text

One Last Time (Nikki Sixx x Reader One Shot)

Requested:

@miriampraez

Summary:

Hi!! I’ve read that you take request right now and i’m wondering if you could do a Nikki one shot based on the lirics of the song One last time by Ariana Grande and romantic smut

Warnings:

Fluff, angst, language, and smut (sorry if the smut sucks. I've never written something like this before)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ON A TAGLIST! OR GO TO MY BIO TO ADD YOURSELF TO ONE!

(Y/B/N) = your best friend's name

(Sksksk i made this gif 👇)

Your best friend pretty much drags you into Vince's house. You look around at the packed house full of sweaty bodies grinding against each other. You cringe at the sight of a couple pretty much fucking each other in the corner. This has never been your scene. Not even when you were with Nikki. Your heart drops at the thought of him.

Nikki fucking Sixx.

The man who broke your heart.

You know he's going to be here tonight. You expect him to be completely moved on from your relationship and making it with some busty blonde.

"Vinny really wants you here tonight," (Y/B/N) says.

She's been dating Vince for about two years now. You think they're great together. It's just that sometimes you don't trust Vince to keep his hands to himself.

"Why could Vince want me here?" You ask, feeling really skeptical at that.

It's no secret that Vince hated you when you two first met. He's learned to tolerate you over the years.

"Because you're one of his best friends!" She exclaims, trying to force a smile onto her face.

You roll your eyes. "That's bullshit. You're a terrible liar."

Y/B/N bites down on her lip. A tell tale sign she's guilty.

"Alright, Vince is worried about Nikki," She says, not meeting your eyes. "Vince hopes that if Nikki sees you one last time, he'll be able to get over you."

You scoff, following her into the kitchen. "Nikki misses me? I'm sure he's already fucked half of the girls in this room. Maybe even more!"

"(Y/N), he's not even leaving his house anymore! Vince sent me over to check on him one day and he was high off his ass!" (Y/B/N) exclaims.

Your heart stops. "He's shooting up again?"

She nods. "Worse than before. He's so strung out he could barely form a sentence. Hell, he could barely walk!"

"Fuck," You mumble, running a hand through your tangled hair.

You glance around, hoping to see Tommy or Mick. You know they could help you talk some sense into Nikki. Instead, your eyes fall on the gorgeous black haired man you've been dreading to see.

Surprisingly, there are no girls hanging around him. There isn't even Tommy by him. He's giving off his "Don't fuck with me" vibe. That's definitely a tell tale sign that he's shooting up again.

You leave your best friend at the counter, making your way to Nikki. You're scared that he'll go off on you. He's not the sweet Nikki you know. He's the Nikki that only cares about getting high.

You sit down next to him. He doesn't notice you at first. You shift in your seat, which causes Nikki to see who made the movement. His eyes widen as he meets yours.

"(Y-Y/N)?" He asks, stunned.

"Nikki, what the hell have you been doing to yourself?" You ask, looking at him with sympathy.

He completely ignores your question, reaching forward and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He cups your cheek in his hand as he stares deeply into your (E/C) eyes.

"Please tell me this isn't another hallucination," He says, almost to himself.

You shake your head. You feel your heart melt at how broken he seems to be. "It's not in your head Nikki. I'm here."

He smiles, leaning forward. His lips catch yours. You kiss him back without any hesitation. God, how you missed his lips on yours. You hate to admit it, but you missed him. So many things are said in this kiss. I'm sorry, Forgive me, I love you, and please let me fuck you.

He pulls you aggressively into his lap. His hands travel down to your ass. He squeezes it, causing you to gasp into the kiss.

His lips break apart from yours. His lips trail wet open mouthed kisses down your neck. Your mind goes into a different place. It's only you and Nikki.

The sound of someone breaking something brings you back to reality. You gently push Nikki off of you. He looks up at you like you had just kicked him.

You lean down and whisper in his ear, "Let's go back to your place."

You know for a fact his house is maybe five minutes away. You've never been more grateful that Nikki chose a house close to Vince's.

Nikki doesn't respond. He only scoops you up into his arms bridal style. He carries you out of the party and to his car.

The entire way over, he couldn't keep his hand off of you. It was trailing further and further up your thigh until his hand just rested on your clothed core. He constantly teased your entrance.

Once you got to his house, you know you're done with the foreplay. You just want him to fuck you so that you can't walk for the next week.

Nikki unlocks the house, pushing you inside and against the wall.

His hands run all over your body. His lips are attacking your neck, leaving multiple love bites everywhere. His hands finally rest on the backs of your thighs. This is his signal for you to jump. You do so, wrapping your legs around his waist. He grinds into you agonizingly slow. He sucks at the exposed skin on your collarbone. You let out a small moan.

He tugs off your shirt, nearly ripping it in the process. You want to scold him, but he took off your bra without any warning. You're impressed that he didn't rip this one. You tug on his shirt, signalling that you want it off. He does as you wish. Your hands run over his shoulders then down his chest. You wrap your arms back around his neck when he pulls you away from the wall.

He carries you up the stairs. Your naked chests and lips are pressed together. You feel like you can barely breathe. You've missed this so damn much.

He practically throws you onto the bed. He tugs your leather shorts off. He smirks as he realizes you're wearing no underwear. You feel the need to cover yourself, but Nikki pins your hands above your head before you can do anything.

"Don't cover yourself up, baby," Nikki says, his eyes raking over your exposed body. "You're so goddamn beautiful."

He takes his other hand and gets his pants off. He wasn't wearing underwear either. He takes his free hand and slides a finger up your slit.

"Already so wet for me, baby," He mumbles, letting go of your hands.

He goes down to start eating you out, but you stop him. He looks at you questioningly.

"I want you to fuck me, Sixx," You say, feeling desperate.

He doesn't respond. He reaches over to the nightstand, opening a drawer. He pulls out a condom with a smile on his face. He rolls it onto his hard length. He thrusts into you without warning. He doesn't let you adjust to his size.

He pulls almost all the way out, then slams back into you. He thrusts hard and mercilessly.

Him just being inside of you is enough for you to come undone. You moan out as his fingers trail their way down to your clit, massaging the bundle of nerves. His mouth sucks hard on your collarbone. Pleasure is rolling in waves throughout your body.

"Fuck, (Y/N)," Nikki moans. "You feel so good."

You moan at his words. You start to feel the white hot sensation in the bottom of your stomach. Nikki's thrusts get sloppy as he reaches his climax.

The only thing that can be heard is your heavy breathing and the slapping of your skin.

Nikki releases when you do. He rides out your highs, his face nuzzled in your neck. His hair tickles you. You resist the urge to laugh.

"Fuck," Nikki says out of breath.

He pulls out of you. He takes the condom off, then throws it in the trash next to his bed.

You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling. You and Nikki used to share this bed. What the fuck did you just do?

You get up, starting to collect your things. Of course the only thing up here is your shorts. The rest is downstairs. Fuck.

"Where you going?" Nikki asks, grabbing your wrist.

"Home," You say cooly.

"No you're not," Nikki responds. "Look, (Y/N), I know I fucked up real bad. But, please give me another chance. I'll make it up to you."

You consider it for a moment. You miss him so much it hurts your heart. "Alright," You answer, laying back down with him. "On one condition. You won't shoot up anymore."

"Deal," He says. He pulls you closer, kissing you deeply. This kiss isn't lustful. It's full of his love. "I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too, Sixx."

Tags:

All fics: @the--blackdahlia @sugar-content @sharon6713

Nikki: @moon-beame @slutfor-sixx @2dead2function

#motley crue #classic rock #rock #rocknroll #rock music #rockband #nikki sixx #fanfic #fanfiction #reader #reader insert #nikki sixx x reader #nikki x reader

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years

Text

Flower | 04

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, light angst, insinuated smut

; Word Count: 3.3k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This week...you get two chapters! The usual Sunday chapter will also occur, but I didn’t want to leave you waiting for the second half of their date too long! So...consider this my Black Friday deal I guess? Let me know what you think, I love reading you love your this <3

; Flower Masterpost

Inhaling deeply, you let your cheeks puff out as you slowly let out the breath that you’re trying to use to calm yourself down. Tonight is officially the night, the date. Or whatever he wanted to call it. And here you were, in the outfit in your best friends had picked, waiting for one Jung Hoseok to appear.

You’d been terrified all day that he wouldn’t actually turn up. That he’d ghost you, and you’d have to fight the tears as you called Soyeon and Chungha to tell them that the emergency supplies were in fact necessary. Even though Hoseok had messaged you again this afternoon, reminding you of your date.

As if you were somehow going to forget a scheduled date with him!

But you were here, at the appointed time outside of the large modern art statue in the centre of the city. It was a common spot for people to meet up as it allowed for quick and easy access to most places within walking distance so you weren’t surprised that he’d picked here. Plus, it was in public and you appreciate all the people who were around.

Pulling your phone out of your bag, you turn the screen on and check the time once more, frowning slightly when you see that he’s two minutes late. It might not seem a lot, but you always got a little antsy and worried when people were late. You usually turned up fifteen minutes early and then just waited around.

Better to be early rather than late.

“Y/N?” The deep voice comes from your left, causing you to squeak in surprise as you jump, whirling around almost comically to face one Jung Hoseok. Who looks even more handsome than his photos make out, which is just plain wrong. That should not be allowed. You were probably a colossal disappointment in comparison.

He was dressed equally casual to you, black skinny jeans with rips clinging to his legs and ending in leather military style boots while a plain white shirt adorned his chest beneath a black leather jacket and thick silver chains around his neck. You couldn’t help but take a small step back, looking over his visage with wide eyes as your mind accepted the fact that people like him really did exist in real life.

His hair was styled for once, swept off his forehead in a look that had obviously been done on purpose and yet looked completely effortless while the nearby lights from a shop front shone off the silver ring in his lower lip.

“We match.” You say dumbly, pointing at his clothes before cringing at how dumb you sound. It throws him for a moment, dark brows rising on his statuesque face before his eyes run over your body before looking down at his own. And then he smiles, and you swear your knees go a little weak.

Because if Jung Hoseok is handsome normally, then he’s out of this world when he smiles. It positively lights up his face and his eyes almost gleam with happiness as he lets out a raspy laugh.

“So we do. You look very beautiful. Your makeup is amazing!” Hoseok exclaimed, eyes widening as he leans a little closer to take in the carefully placed makeup that you’d spent half an hour putting on. It’s nothing hugely special, a little bit of a smokey eye with black eyeliner and a shimmer of rose glitter on the lids of yours with a touch of silver glitter liquid eyeliner. You’d wanted to match your outfit and put in a little bit of an effort, but not make it look like you were ready to walk a red carpet.

Still, your stomach swirled with a combination of happiness at his compliment and nerves at the overall meeting. The teenage part that still lived in you wanted to scream and jump at the fact he’d called you beautiful. Hands clutching at nothing once you put your phone away, you glance at him from beneath your mascara covered eyelashes and smile shyly.

“Thanks. You look good too.” The words are almost mumbled out and you grimace at yourself, nose wrinkling as you wrack your brain for what you’re supposed to say to him now. You never had any idea how these kinds of conversations were meant to go and you made a slightly odd noise before gesturing lamely.

“So...what do you, I mean...what are we doing for our date-I mean...hang out? Or whatever this is.” Idly, you eye the fountain ahead of you and wonder how quickly he might leave if you just jumped into it and refused to come out. Because the awkwardness was building and you felt jumpy with the nerves and anxiety, desperate to give him a good impression but so unaware of how to do that.

He doesn’t laugh at you thought, just gives you a gentle smile before gesturing down one of the streets. You start to move automatically, the ghost of pressure from his hand on your back sending tingles around your body and you look up at him through wide eyes, noting how beautiful his side profile is.

Your side profile probably didn’t look that pretty.

“Well...I guessed that you might be a little nervous about tonight given how quickly you tried to back out of talking to me...so I thought we could do something that means we have to work together and talk, without actually having to talk about anything serious. So...I booked us an escape room and then we could have dinner after?” He sounds so carefree about it and you pause for a moment before gasping in delight.

“Oh my god! I’ve always wanted to do an escape room! Is it themed? I saw there was a Harry Potter one somewhere and that would be so cool! I don’t really know how they work and I’ve always been a little afraid to do them in case I’m too stupid to figure them out.” You don’t realise your babbling till you catch sight of his grin once more, body heating in embarrassment as you duck your head and apologise.

Immediately though he’s soothing your fears, giving you little cooing noises and an overly dramatic expression that has you snorting out a laugh. “Hey, don’t do that! It’s cute, I’m glad you’re excited. That’s what I wanted. I wanted to try and find a way to make you a bit more comfortable. I know how nerve wracking first dates are and I’ve been pretty nervous too.”

You look at him then, a look of pure disbelief written all over your face so plainly that he lets out a bark of laughter, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he points at you with the other. “Oh god, your face. I have! I’m not lying. I know I can look pretty intimidating but I’m just a guy and first dates are just as scary for me.”

“Mmm, I’m sure they are. Especially when you look like...this.” A brief movement of your hand gestures to his whole body and he looks down with a breathy laugh again, shaking his head before looking at you, tongue running along his lower lip.

“I get the feeling you’re pretty blunt and sarcastic. Am I right?” Immediately you look away, shoulders hunching as your hands grip your bag tightly.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to sound like that, it just comes out.” He’s shaking his head though, smiling to himself as he looks forwards and directs you down another street before pointing at the sign for the escape room.

“It’s okay. I like people who speak their mind. As long as I know that you’re joking if you say something mean…” You go to protest at that but it dies at the sign of mischief in his eyes, recognising that he’s coaxing you out of the shell he obviously knows you must have built so strongly around yourself. And your heart warmed in response, glad that he’s not immediately pushing you away and in fact encouraging you.

“We’ll see if you still think that after we’ve got out of the room...if we can get out.” Hoseok hums, tapping his finger against his lip ring before grinning brightly, opening the door to the business and giving a completely over the top and ridiculous ‘enter’ gesture that has him bowing comically. Even as silly as it looked, he still looked amazing yet you felt a little more at ease with how open and friendly he was being.

“After you my lady. I have full faith we will get out. How hard can these things be?”

“What the actual fuck was that. Seriously! We didn’t even get out of the first damn room, I didn’t even know they had more than one room!” Hoseok rants, his cheeks slightly red as his brow creases while he gesticulated wildly through his rant. You watch him, amused for a few moments before continuing to walk along with him.

Despite his bravado at the start, you had both actually done abysmal in the escape room. You’d quickly discovered that Hoseok had absolutely no idea what he was doing in there and you’d tried your hardest, only to discover that you’d been fixating on a strange looking picture which actually had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

The staff had been incredibly amused when they finally let you out after an hour, telling you both cheerfully that no one had ever not managed to get out of the first room before. At least you’d made an impression on them, and you’d probably be an amusing story for Hoseok’s friends too.

He certainly was going to be for Chungha and Soyeon.

It had been fun though, oddly fun to say you were making no progress. Hoseok was funny, the kind of guy who made you laugh without even realising he was trying as he’d talked to himself in confusion, brows knitted together before exclaiming in a loud and suddenly thick dialect. You’d ended up spending a lot of time giggling at him and surprisingly, you’d managed to find out more than you’d expected during that hour.

He’d talked about how his friends would love to come and do this but that he wasn’t sure if they’d do worse or better. Apparently, the thought that two called Yoongi and Seokjin would probably do well. They were both sales account managers at Seokjin’s father’s company while someone called Taehyung worked as a customer service rep at the same company.

He was apparently the blue haired guy in Hoseok’s profile picture on Facebook, while the pink guy was Jimin. He worked as a bartender at the usual place Hoseok and his friends drank at; a dive bar basically that was frequented by bands trying to start their career. Jungkook was in college, doing a postgrad degree in sports psychology and his final friend, Namjoon, was a lawyer.

The diversity of his friends bemused you, but he’d said that was because most of them he’d met in college. Jungkook was apparently one of Taehyung’s friends who’d slowly become integrated with Hoseok’s friend group once he’d gone to college whilst Namjoon was a childhood friend. You’d found it fascinating that he considered six people his close friends when you couldn’t imagine having more than two or three.

It was then that he’d queried your friends, asking if you had anyone who might like to come to an escape room. Chungha would have been happy to get involved but you knew that Soyeon didn’t like the idea of being locked in somewhere. She had claustrophobia and while it wasn’t bad enough to make her panic in an escape room, she wouldn’t be happy at not being able to escape.

Other than that, it had mostly been passing comments that had led to small discussions between the two of you as you both tried to figure out what you were doing. Which evidently hadn’t worked, given you hadn’t gotten out but it had relaxed you all the same. You’d almost felt comfortable around him by the end, the fact it was a date pushed out of your mind until you’d both finally walked out of the door.

And now you were faced with the dinner. On the one hand, you were eager because you were hungry but on the other hand, it meant that you had to finally talk one on one, without the interruption of something else. Hoseok doesn’t seem to notice your sudden quietness, his hands gesticulating as he continues to talk about your previous activity and you follow along.

You don’t know where he’s taking you, but you hope it’s somewhere nice and not too fancy. Somewhere that you’ll actually enjoy the food. He pauses suddenly, mouth open and letting you get a glimpse of the silver ball in the middle of his tongue and you feel warm at the sight, wiggling slightly as your best friends comments race through your head out of nowhere.

“Oh god, imagine getting oral from him. That tongue and piercing...oof...yes please.” Soyeon sighed, fanning her face and looking up to the ceiling as Chungha lets out a low whistle. The photo they’re looking at is one where Hoseok is sticking his tongue out fully, a festival scene behind him and his tongue piercing clearly on display.

Her comment makes your cheeks heat while you squirm slightly, embarrassed at what she said but even more embarrassed at the fact you too had thought of that already. There was no way in hell that you would admit to perhaps touching yourself to the thought of that tongue doing things to you.

“I bet he knows how to use it too. That man has the confidence of someone who’s brought many to orgasm. Girl, you are going to be so lucky if everything works out!” Chungha giggles, pushing at your shoulder while you whine softly to her. You could only hope that you wouldn’t end up hyper fixating on that piercing, because it had become one of your little group of friends favourite things about him.

Needless to say, that hadn’t worked and you let out the quietest breath as he ran that tongue over his teeth slowly, eyes focused away from you and completely unaware of just how ridiculous hot he was right now. It was just plain wrong, yet you can’t pull your eyes away from the straight lines of his jaw, nor the way the tendons in his neck strain just right as he looks down the street.

“Are you okay?” You croak out, coughing slightly to clear your throat and you hope he hasn’t noticed how husky your voice sounds. Thankfully though, he jerks in response to your voice and looks at you slightly dazed for a moment, dark eyes focusing again before he smiles lopsided.

“Yeah, sorry. I just...I don’t remember how to get to the restaurant I was thinking of. Do you like Indian food? There’s this really great place...that I know is here somewhere. I think we need to backtrack and then I can find it,” He pauses before giving a self-deprecating laugh. “Sorry, you’ve discovered flaw number one already. I am useless with directions. Don’t ever ask me to find somewhere. We’d end up in France. Don’t ask how, we just would.”

The laugh that leaves you is unexpected and loud, but you can’t help it and you see him grin in response out of the corner of your eye. He’s looking at you expectantly though, one brow raised as he reaches up and runs his fingers through his hair. Eyeing him for a moment, you nod your head and grasp desperately for the right words.

“That’s fine, I’m great with directions, luckily. I think I know where you mean, it should be back down the street and then to the right.” Pointing, his eyes follow your hand and he lets out a little ‘ah’ noise before smiling brightly.

“Great. Let’s go. I want to eat some good ass food. Mmmm, it’s been so long.” He moans out and you almost choke on your own spit at the sound, body feeling very warm at the overly sexual sound. The man just oozes sex appeal and it’s almost appalling how attractive you find it, but it also leaves you very flustered and unsure what to do.

So you just begin walking in the direction you’d pointed, staring down at the ground while your hands grasp at your bag and your shoulders rise up almost to your ears. A huff of laughter is behind you before the sound of shoes hitting the ground takes over, echoing over the quiet street and then he’s next to you again.

“Hey don’t leave me! How will I ever find it?” Hoseok pouts almost comically and you watch him for a few seconds before raising your brow.

“You’re a big boy. I’m sure you know how to use Google.” There’s a moment of silence and you wince, just about ready to tell him that you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to insult him. Because he was probably insulted, or offended. Or something at you. Either way, you could’ve been nicer.

But instead, he just lets out a loud laugh and shakes his head in amusement before looking you over with an expression that’s almost fond. “Point taken. Let’s go get some food. I want some naan bread.”

“Did you know that naan just means bread in Old Persian so technically you’re just asking for bread bread?” The words come out automatically, your natural instinct to just give a random fact and you don’t even realise it. It was something you’ve always liked to do, looking up information and absorbing it like a sponge. Your friends liked to joke that you were always prepared for a general knowledge quiz.

“Yeah? Why do we call it a naan bread then?” Hoseok asks cheerfully, interest laced in his voice and you shrug in response.

“For the same reason we say chai tea or Sahara desert. There’s also Lake Tahoe, because Tahoe apparently comes from a Native American word meaning, you guessed it...lake. Another favourite of mine is Table Mesa, which just means table table.” You carry on, remembering more examples as you continue and you laugh in amusement at yourself.

Hoseok chuckles as he walks alongside you, giving you a look that you don’t notice as you babble on about places that are also similarly named, letting you telling him more and more places while he just listens. Finally, you realise that you’ve been talking for too long and give him a chagrined look before apologising.

He just shakes his head and grins. “No...it’s okay. Oh...I know of one! The Los Angeles Angels! That just means The The Angels Angels. You’d think that we’d take into consideration the original language meaning sometimes wouldn’t you? Though I guess every language does it.”

The casual acceptance he gives you of the random tangent you’d just gone on warms something inside you and the fact he’s even actively got involved makes you smile ever so softly. Nodding at him, you note that you’ve finally arrived at the restaurant and duck your head down.

“Okay...let’s go...oh my god. I should tell Jungkook about that naan thing. He can just say ‘let’s get this naan!’” You frown in confusion but he just laughs in response, shaking his head and gently pushing you through the door. “I’ll explain inside. Come on, I want to eat!”

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emjayrey · 6 years

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20 Questions Tag

tagged by @mercurialscoundrel. Thanks for the tag! Sorry it took so long. I’ll tag whoever wants to answer these questions. (I feel like I’m bothering you by actually tagging you and I can’t remember who likes to be tagged if any of you do lol)

1. Is there any scene from any piece you’ve written that actually scared you? If so, describe the scene.

I’ve never been a person to get scared from reading a story. Maybe I’ve just read too much Stephen King. Who knows. Umm... most unsettling thing I think I’ve written is maybe the prologue to my WIP, The Risks. It’s an encounter between my OC and the first infected person she sees.

2. What genre do you feel most awkward writing?

Smut stuff, but we’ll get into that in one of these other questions.

3. How many different types of writing do you write? Types of writing include novels, short stories, poetry, song lyrics, etc.

I write novels. I’ve written a couple one shot fanfics too, but that’s just for fun.

4. How old were you when you first started writing?

I can’t remember a specific age. I know I was in elementary school. I got a journal for Christmas once and was going to write a story about a ghost and I titled it Gost in bold letters on the front then realized I misspelled it... yeah. that story never happened.

5. How confident are you in your writing?

*squirms uncomfortably*

6. Have you ever written and posted anything that was very personal to you?

My new WIP, Amelioration is going to acknowledge some things that are personal to me. I think it’s going pose important questions. It might even be a bit controversial. I’m having a hard time getting into it though, probably because it’s pretty different than what I’m used to writing. It’s got some fantasy elements to it and lots of world building which is going to take some planning and I’m more of a pantser so...

7. What inspired you to start writing?

I’ve always just really enjoyed reading and writing and any English classes throughout school.

8. Which of your OCs do you relate to the most?

Probably Claire. We’re very similar. Except she’s just meaner.

9. Have you ever written self-insert fanfiction?

I can’t say that I have.

10. What is your favorite piece you’ve ever written about?

Right now it’s probably my Zelink fanfic. Probably because it’s the only piece I've posted online and it’s gotten some love so I feel kind of confident about it. Otherwise, I think Amelioration will be best thing I write. (If I could just WRITE IT)

11. How frequently do you actually sit down and write?

Hahahahhahaa. Right now? Not very often. Doing this tag game is the most writing I’ve done in months. I really just have to be in the right mood, otherwise everything I write is shit or I just stare at the screen for hours on end. That may be a poor excuse, but I just can’t force myself to write if I’m not feeling it. Can’t do it.

12. How many hours at a time do you do research on your writing?

The Risks doesn’t take a whole lot of research unless I’m looking up things that would make people suspicious that I might be a murdering psychopath. Stuff about weapons and wounds and those kinds of things. Amelioration will probably take a lot more research. I hate researching.

13. Do you like to branch out in your writing or do you tend to stick to what you know?

I usually just stick to what I know. I’m boring.

14. What would your antagonist of your current WIP say to you if they saw you in person?

They honestly wouldn’t have a whole lot to say to me unless it was just some demeaning bullshit, because I really wouldn’t be worth their time.

15. Do you consider yourself your OCs’ god or just kind of a guiding hand (or other? If other, please list)?

I’ve never really thought about that to be honest. Maybe more of a guiding hand?

16. What do you think you’d be doing with your time if you’d never gotten into writing?

That’s a sad thought. Umm.. probably be obsessing more about movies and TV shows.

17. Have you ever written a smut piece?

Okey here we go. So for The Risks I need to write an intimate scene between my to main protagonists. And I’m finding it difficult. It’s kind of like a big deal in the story and I want to write it in detail without it sounding like a smutty fanfic. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some smutty fanfic, I just want my intimate scene to feel more smooth and professional like a Stephen King sex scene and not like E.L. James. Halp.

Also, tried writing smutty fanfic and I just don’t think it’s for me. I don’t mind reading that stuff but writing it is just so cringey to me. I cannot in all seriousness write those sorts of words in a sexual way without cringing. It’s just the truth.

18. What was the first thing you ever wrote about?

There’s only a few of my early pieces I can remember. I don’t remember which came fist. I wrote something about a world where people’s eye color changed with their emotions, a story about a girl who had different universes in her eyes. Neither of those stories made it very far.

19. What is the most creative creature you’ve ever created for world-building?

My stories don’t really include creatures unless you include the infected people in The Risks.

20. Tell me one random fact about your WIP that you have yet to tell your followers.

I can’t remember if I’ve said this before, but let me just start by saying that I picked out Claire Harrington’s name like 9 years ago when I started writing this damn thing. Now, in the past year I’ve started to add subtle hints about Claire’s dad. His name is Steve. He used to tell Claire stories about fighting a monster with no face. Anyone who hasn’t seen Stranger Things won’t get the reference, but for those of you who have, my totally canon headcanon is that Steve Harrington from Stranger Things is Claire’s dad. He moved from Hawkins in the years following his graduation to start over (forget all that crazy shit that happened), met Claire’s mom, got married, had Claire. And his “car accident” that killed him shortly after his divorce was actually planned by the government when he tried to go back to Hawkins. Ooooooh, conspiracies!

That’s all, folks!

#tag game #20 questions #questions #questions tag #writers on tumblr #writerblr

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creideamhgradochas · 6 years

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Thanks to the lovely @marvelmom for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about her, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

A woman never tells her (fanfic) age ;)

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I can't honestly say that I prefer one over the other since I've never written a fic for an OC. I guess my style of writing is better suited to allowing readers to insert themselves into the narrative. I like the challenge of writing a character that allows the reader to flesh out in their own image but still have some substance on their own within the story.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Is smut considered a genre? LOL. Seriously though, I love humour so you'll find most of my stories have an underlying comedic thread. I have a really dark sense of humour and I'm sarcastic af so I love when people respond favourably to it in my writing.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Wow, this is a really good question! I think it would probably be the very first fic I wrote called "Marked." I wrote it for a friend when I was deep in the Cumberbatch fandom. She was complaining about the lack of Khan fics so I wrote one for her. It's on Ao3 and every now and then I get a kudo and I cringe. The writing seems so basic and stilted compared to my newer works. If anything it shows how much I'm improving.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

I find I do my best work late at night. I'm a single mom with a full time job and busy teenagers so I don't usually get to sit down at my computer until after 11pm. I love being able to leave the day behind and just focus on my writing without any interruptions. I typically go until 2am. It's a little crazy but writing relaxes me and helps me sleep better. And it inspires some really great dreams ;)

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Most my inspiration comes from real life, my experiences and passions like music, film and literature. I like to daydream and I find I'm constantly having conversations with characters or constructing scenes in my head. I'm a little crazy I guess lol

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Another great question...let me think. I have one in my head that I haven't written yet that I know will eventually be my favourite but at this very moment it's the scene in Chapter 10 of The Contest where Bucky and the reader are dancing in the antique store and they finally kiss. It was the very first scene that came to me when I started to think about this story and to finally get to write it was incredible. But man did I stress over it...I wanted it to be perfect. Exactly like I had pictured it in my head.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Hasn't happened yet. I'm very stubborn and it would take a lot for me to deviate from the vision I have playing in my head. My muse won't let me rest until I've captured a scene note for note on paper.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky! I can't seem to get him out of my head. For me, Bucky is the most fascinating character in the MCU. His story arc has brought him from one end of the spectrum to the other and back again in so many facets and I love exploring these layers of his personality,

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Thor but only because I stress over his speech patterns when I'm writing his dialogue. I want to make sure I'm doing his character justice and capturing him accurately on paper.

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories?

For one shots, I usually wait until I'm done and then riff on a major theme in the story or what inspired my to write it in the first place. The title for "The Contest" series came from the Seinfeld episode of the same name that inspired the story.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

Considering that The Contest is my very first Bucky fic (and series) I would have to say this is my best story idea so far. More to come I hope ;)

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Thankfully none yet! I find that when story pops into my head I can't move on until I get it down on paper and out in the wild.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I get a lot of requests for part 2 of "Three Creams, No Sugar". Everyone wants that shower scene ;)

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Yes, Infinity War. Oh wait....do you mean one of mine?

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Oh wow, there are so many incredible writers in this fandom that it's hard to pick just a few. I'm grateful to have fallen in with amazing writers such as @evansrogerskitten, @Thewife101 and @avenger-nerd-mom on Twitter. Their support and guidance are the reasons I gathered up the courage to start posting my fics on Tumblr.

Writers like @unicorns-and-fairy-dust-blog own my emotional ass....Dre is the master of angst. I love the wit and humour in @tilltheendwillIwrite 's stories - I think it's a Canadian thing born out of bitter cold winters and ketchup chips. @lovelynemesis has such a great style of writing, very flowing and descriptive. The depth of talented creators in this fandom is insane. There are just too many to mention!

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Definitely "Marked"

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Complete silence. If I have music or Netflix playing I start to daydream and boom, a whole new story.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Not while writing but as I listened to a song and imagined a Bucky one shot to the words. I was ugly crying by the end. I may get around to writing it one day..

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

I would say the first few starting paragraphs of a new story or chapter. I take way too long with the beginning sections.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I pretty much have the whole story plotted out before I get started. "The Contest" has been in my head from beginning to end for over a year now.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

I wish I had known about Tumblr to be honest. It's a great outlet for fanfic and the source of so much inspiration and support.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I'm always in awe of the fact that people want to read my stories period so I appreciate every single note, comment and message whether it's 4 or 400 :)

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

I'm always in awe of the fact that people want to read my stories period so I appreciate every single note, comment and message whether it's 4 or 400 :)

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Not so much characters but personality traits. I find that I project my style of humour and sarcasm (plus my lack of filter) onto characters all the time.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

I must be the slowest writer in this fandom. I seriously don't know how you all put up with me. I've had so many incredible compliments but it always amazes me to hear readers tell me that a new chapter was worth the wait.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

One that really stands out is someone telling me that I was going to lose all my followers if I didn't update my fics faster. That one really hurt because like most writers here, I really beat myself up knowing that I can't turn around stories or chapters as quickly as I would like.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I have a few writers here that I talk to regularly and we feel comfortable enough to share our ideas. Some of my favourite messages have been from other writers wanting to talk through an idea or ask for some help with a scene or ask for some help with a scene or some dialogue.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

Aside from a few twitter mutuals I have met, no one in my "real life" knows I write fanfic. Though I think my kids may have their suspicions...I have a writing degree and my friends and family are always telling me that I should write more. If they only knew LOL

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I can't tell you because they are about to make an appearance in the next chapter of "The Contest" and I'm excited to write their scene.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

The incredible feedback and messages I get from readers like you (I live for your chapter summaries....seriously), pictures of Sebastian Stan, reading all the amazing fanfic out there, Bucky's thighs, Marvel, eating chocolate....eating chocolate off of Bucky's thighs.... (Need to add that to my list of future fics)

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Definitely slowburns. I love the flirting, the teasing, the witty dialogue as the sexual tension builds....it's delicious.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

This is going to date me....please no judgment. It was a 'NSYNC fic. Wish I could remember the name but it was a JC x reader. I was obsessed with JC back in the day...ok, stop laughing.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

SMUT with my fucky Bucky and my side boo Sebby ;)

#milestone celebration #ask the author #marvelmom

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leonajasmin-writeblr · 6 years

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25 Questions

Thanks for the tag @rain-likes-to-ramble ! It’s the longest tag game I’ve done, so I’ll put it under the cut. Be warned, it gets progressively more sarcastic.

1. Is there a story you’re holding off writing for some reason?

I’ve been wanting to try and rewrite some of my fanfic from when I was 13/14 for a while to make it less cringy and have a direct comparison on how my writing has changed. But the main thing I’m holding off is a novel(la) called The Scramble. It’s in the same universe as my other WIP’s (with some of its events being mentioned in The Indignant including an appearance from Chris) but it can be read standalone. I’ve got the cast and rough plot sorted out but as it was originally fanfiction, it’s taken a while to weed the fandom parts out of it.

Brief summary: Sigurd Losnedahl, being the backstabber he is, decided to get involved with the Norikan Civil War despite insisting to his two sons he wouldn’t. Now Eirik and Halldór are stuck in the epicentre of the battle and since neutrality is even more dangerous than picking sides, they’re scuppered. After being taken under the wing of enigmatic Taisto Astergaard, Eirik is entangled with the man’s adopted daughter, Christine, and the only way the polar duo will live is through them ending the decade-long war. The only problem is, his father’s so obsessive with his cause that he now will do anything to put a bullet in his head. And Halldór’s disappeared- how convenient.

2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?

The fanfiction that I mentioned in Q1 that I plan on rewriting.

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favourite scenes first? Something else?

Front to back. I tend to leave exposition and descriptions out of the first draft (unintentionally) so I’ll fill in those when I feel like it.

4. Favourite character I’ve written?

Phineas. He was originally a one-dimensional villain (I created him when I was 9) but he’s now one of the most complex characters in the series with the undoubtedly the most well-developed backstory. He’s also developed a great sense of humour over time, and his relationship with Jonathon (who I haven’t introduced on Tumblr yet but I need to. He’s a close second) is one of my favourite things to write.

5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

Vladislav. In my plan, he was only supposed to appear in 2/41 chapters. After his personality change, he quickly became one of the major characters. Originally, he was a vain flirt with an ego out the roof. Now he’s a sensitive but righteous boy training to be a lawyer to persecute his mass murdering uncle. Pretty big development for someone who was only created 7 months ago.

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing but it’s too late/complicated to change now.

I’d have added a District based on somewhere in South Asia and also one based on somewhere in Africa. I’m thinking about adding them at the end (since I’ve already stated in my novel that more Districts will come with time), but it’s too late to add them from the beginning.

7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I love telling people I write but hate the follow-up questions, “Tell me about your book!” *pulls out garbage which doesn’t even reflect what my novel is about*

8. Favourite genre to write.

Speculative Fiction. While making characters is my favourite part of writing, I also love world-building.

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I actually play High School Story, Hollywood U and The Sims with my characters inserted. It’s been helpful for one-shots and AU’s more than anything but has given me traits about characters to add to their dimensions for my main works, so it’s win-win.

10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others

Background music and alone. The music has to be a specific genre though.

11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

How I portray emotions. In my older drafts, characters recovered from the deaths of their close friends/relatives in 10 minutes and seemed callous. Now they are all crybabies to compensate.

12. Your weakness as an author?

I rely too much on dialogue and miss out a lot of description.

13. Your strength as an author?

I write a pretty mean villain (pun intended). This man was reading my work over my shoulder since I mostly write on the bus home and the first thing he said after, “Are you okay?” was “I like Rylan even though he’d scare me sh*tless from the looks of things.” I think I should put that as a review on the book’s cover once it’s (hopefully) published. A 70-year-old man I met on the bus does sound like a reputable source.

14. Do you make playlists for your work?

I have a playlist for Cyrus and that’s it which 90% is Eurobeat since he has a needo for speedo. There’s only has one chapter in his POV.

15. Why did you start writing?

I was a cocky six-year-old and thought I could write a better version of a film I’d just watched. It ended up being about two best friends in a milkshake parlour despite the original film being about a castaway girl. The connection still makes more coherent sense than the fact I got the idea for The Mastery from Mario and Sonic at the Vancouver Winter Olympic Games 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

16. Are there any characters who haunt you?

Alex in his angsty stage. He would threaten to kill people 25/8 because he found out he was adopted.

17. If you could give your fledgeling author self any advice, what would it be?

Keep writing. If you’re that dedicated to your project that you have to write it straight away, remember you can always edit in the future if it’s not up to your standards. And even people who’ve been writing decades are still improving as writing is wayyyy too subjective to be ‘perfect’ at.

18. Were there any works that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style?

George Orwell’s 1984 has affected my world-building. Malorie Blackman’s Noughts and Crosses and Maggie Stiefvater’s Wolves of Mercy Falls series gave me the idea to write under two characters alternating POV’s.

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc.?

Charahub and a timeline which I’ve drawn by hand on the back of some unused wallpaper.

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or little spurts?

Either 5 words or 5000, no in between. It depends on whether I feel inclined to write or have inspiration.

21. What do you think when you read over your older work?

Cringe at all the unnecessary words and repetition- one sentence in my 2012 draft of The Mastery is literally, ‘Alex got up off his bed, walked out of his bedroom door, walked down the stairs, walked into the living room before standing in the doorway of the dining room’.

22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Anything to do with extreme physical or sexual assault. Or sex in general since I’ve not written much smut before.

23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Meeting my biological father at 16 rather than knowing him from birth. Also, one of my characters has impaired vision like me so its easier since I knew all the terminology and experiences without much research.

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Handguns. I’ve used rifles before (I’ve gone clay pigeon shooting before) but since handguns are illegal where I live, I’ve not seen one in person nor had any idea of their usage or the terminology. Quite a few of my characters own them as a precaution so I had to learn.

25. Copy and paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you are particularly proud of.

(It’s not short but I freaking love how Chapter 36 of The Mastery panned out. Note this is the chapter 70-year-old man liked)

“Cyrus, Keung. Not the most ideal reunion. How has the family been since I was disowned?”

Keung’s jaw twitched, “I think the reason you kicked out was valid enough. You killed your own grandmother, Rylan.”

Rylan, another one of my many cousins, let out what from his mouth movement looked like was a hearty laugh but sounded like a giggle, “It sounds more impressive than getting disowned for supporting the black sheep in an argument, does it not?”

Keung’s hand had been on his spoon all this time, and he was clenching it to the point his arm shook, “I know grandfather wants nothing to do with either of us Rylan, but that doesn’t mean I want to associate myself with a murderer.”

“You stayed under the Xu thumb for long enough. There are fewer fingers in this room than the number of people Tatsuo has killed. Some are justified, I’ll give him that, but others were falsely accused with no chance at justice.”

He leaned at an angle so that he could stare at me, “It’s good to know that you’re being independent for once in your life, Cyrus. Regardless, it’s a real shame you subsequently allied yourself with another family of murderers.”

“What else could I have done?” I said, “The Ninth District needs allies, and I have genuine friends from Ivanska, Phinea and Willsborg.”

He cooed as he came to lean against my back, “Considering how we’re he half-breed scum of the family, I thought you’d have considered an alliance with me. You’re the only relative of mine I like and who hasn’t seemed to have fallen under Xu indoctrination.”

“Grandmother accepted the fact we didn’t decide to be half-breeds,” I hissed, “Out of everyone you could have killed, why her?”

He lowered his voice to a whisper, “I intended to kill Tatsuo. The fact she drunk the poison I’d slipped into the Mansion was a mistake. I don’t have many regrets but that is one of them.”

He distanced himself, “I have little in common with the man who I once saw as my dear grandfather, but one of the few things I’ll admit is that if we need to, we’ll both use blood to make a point.”

My tags are (don’t feel obliged!) @unico-rn-ffee and @alittle-writer

#25 questions tag #tag game #writing tag

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