#and buy her a mai tai

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Ghoulia Yelps Skull Shores photos by Vivien Hoffpauir at Dolly Daydreams

#Vivien Hoffpauir #ghoulia yelps #tiki #zombie #monster high #ghoulia #dolls #dolly daydreams #i want to take her to trader vic's #and buy her a mai tai

[springtyme]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐢𝐧'𝐭 𝐍𝐨 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 ♡

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐈'𝐦 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Spencer Reid x f!reader || Series masterlist || Series playlist

Main masterlist || can also be read on ao3 || Next chapter

summary: After having worked for the BAU for two years, you have seen and experienced a lot, but after a series of murders of young married couples, you’re asked to do something that you never had thought you would have to do; going undercover, as an expecting, married couple, with Spencer Reid.

word count: 5.8k

warnings/tags: Eventual smut! (18+, mdni!) Undercover as a married couple. Pretend pregnancy. Language. Drinking. Angst and fluff. Slow burn. Mutual pining. Coworkers to lovers. Not set at a specific time, but definitely somewhere in the early seasons. Reader uses she/her pronouns. Mention of canon-typical violence.

The table is a bit sticky, and the music could be better, but the drinks are decent and you’re just so happy to finally be out with your friends after what feels like forever. Your job is demanding, and being an FBI agent in the Behavioral Analysis Unit means that your work-life balance is almost non-existent. But tonight, you don’t want to think about the gruesome crime scenes or the long hours spent profiling and investigating violent crimes, all you want to do is have a good time and catch up with your friends. And finally having an occasion to dress up and feel cute isn’t bad either.  

Closing your glossed lips around the straw of your Strawberry Daiquiri, you take a long sip and let the sweet, icy drink cool your throat as you sit back in your chair, listening to the lively chatter of your friends. Michaela and Piper are going back and forth about some new movie that you haven’t had the time to watch yet, and you and Janelle, who is sitting across from you, are laughing at their antics as you listen to their debate with half an ear, but you focus shifts as Janelle gently nudge your shin under the table.

“That guy is totally checking you out,” Janelle says with a playful raise of her eyebrow, gesturing towards the bar with her eyes, as she takes a sip of her Mai Tai, while Michaela and Piper continue their discussion about whether the final plot twist of the movie was too predictable or an actual  genius twist.

You can’t help but let out a tired giggle and roll your eyes as you follow Janelle’s gaze, glancing over to the bar and catch the eye of a man who is indeed looking in your direction, but you quickly turn back towards your friend again. “I thought we had decided to just focus on having a girls’ night out tonight, no boys allowed?” you say, giving her a knowing look. She shrugs her shoulders and smiles jestingly.

“You can still appreciate the view, even if you’re not looking to buy,” she teases, taking another sip of her drink. You shake your head, laughing at her antics, but you can’t help but look over in the direction of the guy at the bar again. He catches your eye and flashes you a charming smile. He is cute, sure, but not cute enough for you to want to do anything about it. 

But to be fair, he could be the cutest guy in all of  D. C. and you probably still wouldn’t do anything about it. You don’t really have the time or energy for dating right now and you are not really currently in the mood for meaningless sex with a stranger either. 

Your job consumes so much of your life already, and you’re content with just focusing on your career, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to share your life with, but what you’ve learned over the last few years is that most guys don’t understand the demands and emotional toll of your job. They either can’t handle the long hours, and all the time you have to spend on cases, or the gruesome details of your work, or they simply can’t comprehend the darkness that you have to face on a daily basis. And so, you’ve built up walls to protect yourself, to shield yourself from potential heartbreak or disappointment.

“You sure it’s not you who he’s checking out?” you ask, trying to shift the focus of the conversation away from your lack of interest in dating. Janelle laughs and shakes her head. 

“No, I think he’s definitely into you,” she says, nudging you playfully. 

“Well, I’m not interested, so he is all yours, Nell,” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as you give her a playful wink. Janelle just laughs and shakes her head.

“Nah, I’m good. I’m just here to have a good time with my girlies,” she says, raising her glass in a toast, making Machaela and Piper forget their never-ending debate and cheerfully join in. 

Just as you’re about to raise your glass and join in the toast, your phone buzzes in your purse, interrupting the moment. You reach into your bag and pull out your phone, seeing Hotch’s familiar number flash across the tiny screen. 

“Sorry, I have to take this,” you say with a sigh, standing up from the table giving your friends an apologetic smile. Your friends nod understandingly, knowing that your job always comes first as you excuse yourself from the table and head to a quieter corner of the bar to take the call. You feel a wave of exhaustion wash over you, knowing that your night out with your friends is about to be cut short. 

“Yeah?” you answer, putting the phone to your ear, not bothering with any formalities as you know that Hotch is going straight to the point when he calls you outside of office hours.

“Sorry to interrupt your Friday night, but we’ve got a new case, high priority,” Hotch’s voice comes through the line, his tone serious and professional, but you can also hear the tired edge in his voice. It can’t be easy being the Unit Chief and always having to be on call, but you respect him for his dedication to the job. “I’m afraid I need you and the team back at the office ASAP.” 

“I’ll be there as soon as possible,” you say, already mentally preparing yourself to switch back into work mode.

“Great, thank you, agent,” Hotch says, and you can hear the gratitude in his voice before he hangs up. You can only imagine how shitty it must feel to have to call in your team on a Friday night only a few hours after everyone has left the office. But that’s the nature of the job, and you have accepted it a long time ago, even though it means sacrificing your personal life and plans at a moment’s notice. 

With a deep breath you take a moment to collect yourself, trying to shake off the disappointment of having to leave your friends behind. As you head back to the table to break the news to your friends, you can’t help but feel a pang of guilt for having to leave them hanging. They all look up at you expectantly, sensing the change in your demeanor. “I’m sorry guys, I have to go. Work…” you trail off, your voice apologetic, you hate having to disappoint them.

Michaela and Piper exchange sympathetic looks, while Janelle just nods understandingly. “It’s okay, we understand,” Janelle says, giving you a reassuring smile. 

“I’m sorry I have to cut the night short,” you say, feeling the weight of disappointment settling in your chest. 

“Hey, your job’s important, we’ll catch up another time,” Michaela says, standing up to give you a supportive hug. “And we are really proud of you, just so you know,” she adds, giving you a reassuring smile as she pulls back from the hug.

Suddenly you almost feel like you could cry. You spend so much time burying your emotions and focusing on the job that it almost feels overwhelming to be reminded that you have people outside of work who love and care about you. “Thank you, Kay,” you say, smiling back at her. You hug the others and say your goodbyes, before you quickly gather your things and prepare to head out and find a cab. 

· · · · ·

Spencer is abruptly pulled out of his slumber by the sound of his phone ringing. The book he had been reading sprawled open in his lap. The softness of the armchair and the long week of work finally caught up to him, and he must have dozed off. He blinks groggily as he fumbles to grab his phone. He squints at the screen, momentarily disoriented from being woken up so suddenly. Seeing it’s a call from Hotch, he quickly answers, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Hello?” Spencer mumbles, trying his hardest to sound awake and alert despite his groggy state.

“Reid, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we have a new case, high priority. I need you and the others back at the office ASAP, we will have a briefing as soon as you’re all here,” Hotch’s voice comes through the line, terse and serious, but also tinged with exhaustion. 

Spencer’s heart sinks at the news, knowing that his plans of spending a quiet Friday night at home, recovering after a hard work week is now dashed, but he quickly pushes the book aside, already mentally preparing himself to switch into work mode.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he replies, removing his glasses that he had swapped his contacts out for earlier in the evening. Rubbing his eyes and sitting up straight, the sense of urgency now kicking in.

“Thank you, Reid,” Hotch says before ending the call, leaving Spencer to gather his things and head out to Quantico without delay.

As he makes his way out of his apartment and towards his car, he can’t help but feel a sense of disappointment at having his night disrupted once again by work. He had really been looking forward to a quiet night in, and finally enjoy a break. 

Spencer watches the city lights pass by in a blur as he begins to make his way out of D. C., the reality of his job sinking in once again. He knows that as a part of the BAU, his work is never truly done. The cases are always waiting, the criminals are always out there, and the demands of his job are always pressing. And while he loves what he does and finds fulfillment in helping to catch the most dangerous offenders, and having his mind challenged, there are days when he longs for a sense of normalcy, for a break from the darkness that seems to follow him everywhere he goes.

With a deep breath, he steels himself for the long night of driving and work ahead, knowing that he may not see his bed again for a while. 

· · · · ·

As you arrive back to Quantico, you rush into the FBI building, quickly making it through the security check. The heels of your stilettos click loudly against the floor as you hastily make your way to the conference room. The short, tight dress that had made you feel so confident just a few hours ago now makes you feel exposed and vulnerable as you walk through the sterile hallways of the building. 

You try to pull down the short hemline of your dress, as you push open the heavy door to the conference room, but it doesn’t change the fact that most of your thighs are on display and that your tits are almost spilling out of the low-cut neckline. It is so rare that you get the opportunity to dress up and feel sexy, so you might have gone a little overboard with your choice of outfit for a simple girls night, or at least that is how you feel now as you’re about to walk into a room full of your colleagues, who aren’t that used to see this side of you, and are about to hear about the details of a violent crime case.

As you step into the room, you see that Derek and Spencer are already sitting at the big round table, waiting for the rest of the team to show up, Hotch is probably in his office getting more details for the briefing before the entire team is here. They turn their heads in your direction as you enter, and you can feel their eyes lingering a moment longer than necessary, seemingly surprised to see you in such attire.

“Damn, princess, you clean up well,” Derek says with a smirk, giving you a once-over. “You had a hot date tonight or something?” 

You roll your eyes at his comment, knowing that he always loves to tease you about your personal life. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Morgan,” you reply with a raised brown and a playful smile, taking a seat at the table and crossing your legs and adjusting your dress as you sit down. 

“Of course, I would like to know, that’s why I asked,” Derek chuckles, leaning back in his chair. “You come in here looking like that, and you expect us not to ask questions? I just need to know, is he more handsome than me, should I be worried?” he teases, earning another playful eye roll from you.

“Can’t a girl just want to look good for a change, without it having to be for a man?” you shoot back.

“What do you mean, for a change? You always look good,” Derek counters with a charming smile, before he turns to Spencer, who has been awfully quiet this entire time. “Isn’t that right, pretty boy?”

Spencer looks up at Derek and then at you, a faint blush rising to his pale cheeks. His hair is slightly tousled and he is wearing his glasses, making him look even more adorable than usual. You don’t know if it is wrong of you to think of your colleague as adorable, he is a grown man and exceptionally capable of his job, you respect him a lot, but you just can’t help but find Spencer extremely endearing. 

“You don’t have to answer that, Spence,” you quickly interject, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. You know that Spencer can be a bit awkward when it comes to social interactions and you don’t want Derek’s teasing to make him feel even more self-conscious.

You and Spencer have become good friends over the two years that have passed since you joined the BAU team, you and him are the youngest agents in the unit. You have always admired Spencer’s brilliant mind and his ability to remember almost everything he reads as well as his sweet, quirky personality. You have a mutual respect for each other’s intelligence and dedication to the job. You have also noticed the way he sometimes gets lost in his thoughts or stumbles over his words when he’s nervous, and you have always tried to support him and make him feel comfortable in social situations.

But despite being friends and good colleagues, there’s also always been a slightly awkward tension between you and Spencer, at least on your end, it’s not like it’s there all the time, but you do feel it from time to time. You are not even sure where it comes from or why it’s there, but there’s something about Spencer that can make you feel slightly flustered and unsure of yourself, if you ever stop to think about it. It’s probably just because you admire him so much and don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of someone you respect so deeply.

“No, it’s okay,” Spencer says, his usual rambling tone coming through as he speaks. “You do look very nice, tonight. Wait, no, I mean, Morgan is right you always look nice, but you also look real nice tonight,” he stammers, stumbling over his words as he tries to explain himself. 

You can’t help but smile at his adorable awkwardness, grateful that Derek’s teasing didn’t faze him too much. “Thank you, Spence,” you say, giving him a kind smile and reaching out to pat his arm reassuringly, hoping to ease his discomfort. “I appreciate it.”

“Oh, so when it is him you appreciate it, I see how it is,” Derek jokes, earning a playful shove from you. 

“Shut up, Morgan, you know that I love you,” you say with a laugh, playfully rolling your eyes at him, which makes him laugh, but you don’t get to continue your banter as the rest of the team starts to filter in, Hotch enters the room with a stack of case files in hand, his usual stoic expression in place as he takes his seat at the head of the table to begin the briefing. 

“Thank you all for coming with such short notice,” Hotch starts, his voice authoritative and commanding. “We have a new case that just came in and it’s classified as high priority. A series of brutal murders have been reported in Northern California. Local police have finally reached out to us for assistance after multiple cases after two new victims were found earlier in the day. They have all been double murders, with the assumption that the victims have been stalked for a while beforehand, and are then killed in a very specific and violent manner. All have been young married couples, all under thirty, and in all of the cases, the female victim has been between five and nine months pregnant.”

As Hotch continues to outline the details of the case, you can feel the weight of the seriousness of the situation settle in the room. You are usually able to compartmentalize your emotions and focus on the task at hand, but the thought of innocent lives being taken in such a violent manner always hits a nerve and you feel a chill run down your spine as Hotch describes the details of the case, the gravity of the situation sinking in. This is a disturbing and horrific case, one that hits close to home for you as a woman. 

As Hotch finishes the briefing he turns to Spencer. “Reid, I would like to have a word with you in my office. The rest of you, start looking into the evidence and see if we can find any leads or patterns that may help us track down the unsub.”

You watch as Spencer nods in acknowledgment, it’s clear that he is a bit confused about being called into Hotch’s office alone, as he follows Hotch out of the room, leaving you and the rest of the team to start digging into the case files and evidence.

· · · · ·

“Please take a seat,” Hotch says as he gestures towards the chair in front of his desk, as Spencer follows him into his office. Spencer feels slightly anxious as he takes a seat, his eyes searching Hotch’s face for any clues as to why he’s been called into his office while Hotch takes his seat behind the desk. Hotch clears his throat before speaking, his tone serious and professional. “I have something to ask you to do, and it’s not a small thing,” Hotch begins, his eyes fixed on Spencer. “I need you to think carefully before you answer.” 

Spencer can feel how his heart starts to race, his mind already trying to anticipate what Hotch is about to ask him. “What is it?” he asks, his voice steady despite his growing nerves. Hotch takes a moment to gather his thoughts before he speaks again. 

“I’ve spoken with the local authorities in California, as well as our own expert and with the circumstances of the case and lack of leads, we have decided that the best way to proceed is to send in two undercover agents that fits the profile of the victims, and I want to ask you to be one of those agents.” 

Spencer’s eyes widen in surprise, his mind racing with the implications of such a task. Going undercover in a case like this would be incredibly risky, not to mention emotionally taxing and it is not something he has much expertise in.

“I understand that this is a big ask, but you fit the profile of the victims and your ability to think on your feet and adapt in high-pressure situations makes you the best candidate for this job,”  Hotch explains, his eyes searching Spencer’s face for any sign of hesitation.

Spencer takes a moment to process Hotch’s words. He can see the logic in Hotch’s reasoning with the specific details of the case and the lack of leads; it might be the best way to proceed, and Spencer knows that it is only done when absolutely necessary. “And you’re sure I’m the best agent for the job, I don’t have much experience with undercover work,” Spencer says, keeping his voice as steady as he can while feeling the uncertainty within himself. 

“You’re more than capable, Reid. Your intelligence and quick thinking are your strongest assets, and we have full confidence in your abilities. I would never ask this of you if I was not fully convinced that you are fit for this job. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I also know that you have it in you to handle it,” Hotch reassures him, his tone firm and unwavering. 

Spencer nods, taking a deep breath as he processes the weight of the task that has been given to him. This is a very serious assignment, one he knows is crucial to solving the case and bringing justice to the victims. “If you believe I can do it, then I’ll do it,” Spencer says finally, his voice resolute. 

Hotch nods, a sense of relief crossing his features. “Thank you, Reid. This means a lot to the case, and I know you will do a great job,” he says, his voice showing his appreciation. 

Spencer reciprocates the nod, feeling a surge of determination coursing through him. It’s a lot to take in, and it takes his usually so fast thinking mind a second to realize that he won’t be going undercover alone. “Who will be the other agent going undercover with me?” Spencer asks, wanting to know who he will be partnering with.

“I have someone in mind, but I want to make sure that she is on board before we move forward.” 

“Is it, Y/L/N?” Spencer can’t help but ask, his mind already considering the possibilities of who he is going to work undercover with, and you are the person in the unit that would fit the profile of the victim the best. He really hopes it’s gonna be you, even though a part of him also doesn’t want you to be put in a potentially dangerous position. Spencer knows that your skills and intelligence would complement his own in such a high-stakes situation. And most importantly he just really likes being around you. You are always so kind to him and you never fail to make him feel included and supported. 

Hotch nods. “Yes, she fits the profile as well and I believe that she has the expertise for this kind of operation. I will speak with her and see if she is willing to take on this assignment. I trust that the two of you will work well together on this case and you seem to get along well, and that’ll be important in this case. I’ll have to be sure that the agents I’m sending in can deliver a believable performance.”

And that is when it really dawns on Spencer, the two of you are not just going into a dangerous situation together, you will also have to pretend to be a couple, a young married couple expecting a child. He had been so caught up in the seriousness of the assignment and the potential risks involved that he hadn’t even considered that part of going undercover with you. 

The thought of pretending to be a married couple with you, even if it’s just for the sake of the operation, sends a wave of feelings and thoughts through him, too many at once for him to fully process. Sure, it’s all part of the job, but the idea of being so close to you and having to maintain that facade is a challenge he’s not sure he’s fully prepared for. The idea of playing the role of your husband, even if it’s just for work, is both exhilarating and absolutely terrifying at the same time. 

But as Spencer looks into Hotch’s eyes, he sees the trust and confidence that his boss has in him, and he knows that he can’t back down now. He has a job to do, and he will do it to the best of his abilities, alongside you. 

· · · · ·

After Hotch and Spencer left the conference room, you and the other agents moved back to your desks to go through the evidence and case files. You are now wrapped in the cardigan that usually hangs from the back of your desk chair and you feel a little more office appropriate. 

“Damn, this is a tough one,” Derek says, shaking his head as he scans through the crime scene photos. “The level of violence in these murders is just brutal.” 

You nod in agreement as you flip through your own stack of evidence, looking up from the file in your hand as Spencer and Hotch emerge from Hotch’s office, Spencer walking down the stairs to join the team, but Hotch stays back, his expression serious and you get a little surprised when he addresses you.

“Can I have a word with you in my office?” Hotch says, his tone somber before he steps back into his office. 

You can’t help but feel a sense of urgency as you put down the file in your hand and get up from your desk. You pass Spencer at the foot of the stairs, his eyes flicking down to meet yours. “Everything okay?” you ask, a hint of concern in your voice. Spencer nods, but there is something in his eyes you can’t quite read. 

“Yeah, uh… yeah, Hotch will explain,” he says, his voice slightly tense, and a slight crease is formed between his brows  but the look in his brown eyes are soft as they meet yours. 

“Okay,” you whisper, giving him a small smile, before  you quickly step up the stairs, or at least as quickly as you can in your five inch heels. You feel a small knot of anxiety starting to form in your stomach as you step into the office, wondering what this is about.

The door clicks shut behind you, and you feel the weight of Hotch’s gaze on you as you stand in front of his desk. “Please, sit down,” Hotch says, his tone grave as he gestures towards the chair in front of him. You take a seat, feeling a sense of unease settling in your stomach.

Hotch’s expression is unreadable as he looks at you, and for a moment, you can’t help but wonder what all of this is about.

“I have a very big thing to ask from you, agent, and I want you to know that I’m asking this of you because I trust you can handle it. It’s a request, but the choice is fully up to you,” Hotch starts, his voice steady but filled with seriousness. “Due to the lack of leads and the nature of these murders, we have come to the decision to send in two undercover agents who fit the profile of the victims to try and draw out the unsub, and I would like to ask you to be one of those agents. Agent Reid has already agreed to take on the assignment, the two of you match the victim profiles, and I truly believe that with your skills and expertise, you would be the perfect choice for this task.” 

You lean back in your chair as you let Hotch’s words sink in. So this is why Hotch wanted to talk with Spencer. Going undercover on a case as gruesome and high stakes as this is not something to take lightly, but with the circumstances of the case and the lack of current leads you can see the logic in it. It’s a risky move, but you know that sometimes risky moves are necessary in order to catch the unsub and bring justice to the victims. 

“I know that this is a very big thing for me to ask of you, and I want you to know that I fully understand if you have any reservations or concerns,” Hotch continues, his tone earnest. “But I also believe that you have what it takes to handle this assignment, and your dedication to the job is unparalleled. I wouldn’t ask this of you if I wasn’t convinced that you could handle it.” 

“I understand the gravity of this assignment, Hotch,” you say, your voice calm and steady, wanting to reassure him that you are aware of the importance of the task at hand. “I am aware of the risks involved, and if you think I’m the right person for the job, then I’ll do it.” 

Hotch nods, his features softening. “Thank you, agent. I know this is a lot to ask, but I have full confidence in your abilities and I truly believe that you and Reid will be able to handle this assignment with the utmost professionalism.” 

You nod in acknowledgment, a surge of determination coursing through you by your decision. You also can’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over you at the fact that Spencer will be the person going undercover with you. You trust him implicitly and that makes you feel a sense of ease.

“I will arrange for a briefing with you and Agent Reid to go over the details of the assignment. You’ll also have to go through a training course while we set up a location for the undercover operation, and you will of course be given your undercover identities. I’ll inform the rest of the team about the assignment,” Hotch’s words are firm and decisive, and you can see the weight of responsibility in his expression. “But you better get home and get some rest. You have a long and intense process ahead of you, agent,” he adds, a softer tone creeping into his voice.

“Copy that,” you reply as you stand up from your chair. Soon you’re back down in the bullpen, standing at your desk as you gather your belongings and start to make your way out of the office. Just as you’re about to close your purse, you catch Spencer’s eye from where he’s standing over at his own desk, and as you give him a tired smile, which he mirrors, you swing your purse over your shoulder and walk over to his desk. 

“So, Hotch asked you?” Spencer says as you approach him, his brown eyes meeting yours. You nod, the weight of the assignment settling in as you face each other. 

“Yeah, he did. Looks like we’re partners in this one,” you reply, smiling at him once again.

Spencer nods, a small smile of his own tugging at the corners of his lips. You both stand there for a short moment, the weight of the assignment hanging heavily between you, before Spencer breaks the silence. “Do you need me to walk you to your car? I know the parking lot is just outside and that we have security, but still.”

You feel a wave of gratitude wash over you for his offer, and you can see the concern in his eyes as he looks at you, but that is also when you remember that you didn’t drive here yourself.

“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you,” you say, feeling touched by his concern. “But I actually didn’t drive here tonight, I took a cab.”

“You took a cab all the way from D. C.?!”

You laugh at his surprised expression. “Yeah, I was out, I didn’t have my car and I also had had a few drinks.”

“You should have called me, I could have picked you up and we could have driven together,” he says, his tone filled with genuine concern. You can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.

“I appreciate that, Spence. Maybe next time,” you say, giving him a grateful smile. You know that Spencer is always willing to go above and beyond to help his friends and colleagues, and you can’t help but feel extra lucky to have him as a partner in this assignment. 

“Well, you have a ride back home now,” he says, offering you a gentle smile.

“That’s nice,” you reply, with a bright smile, feeling very grateful for his offer. You had expected to get a lift from one of your colleagues when you drove out here, it would be difficult, if not impossible, to get hold of a cab this late out here, but it feels really nice that you didn’t even have to ask for one. 

“Of course,” Spencer replies, his smile growing wider. Soon the two of you are stepping out of the FBI building and are met with the brisk night air, your feet are hurting and the cool air makes goosebumps rise on your skin. But almost before you get to register it, Spencer has removed his jacket and offers it to you. “You must be cold,” he says, giving you a kind look. You try to protest, but he insists, draping the jacket over your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you mumble, not feeling like protesting further as soon as the warm feeling of the jacket engulfs you. 

Once you reach his car, he opens the door for you and you slide into the passenger seat, feeling a sense of gratitude for his kindness. “You want this back?” you ask, removing the jacket from your shoulder. You don’t really feel ready to give up the warm garment, but you also don’t want to assume that he offered it for more than just the walk to the car. 

Spencer shakes his head as he settles into the driver’s seat and you watch him start the engine. “No, you just keep it.” You smile happily as you toe off your shoes and curl up in the seat draping the jacket over your bare legs, feeling like it is enveloping you in a comfortable cocoon of warmth and safety as Spencer starts the car and begins the drive back towards D. C.

The landscape passes by in a blur outside the window as the two of you drive in comfortable silence, the both of you seemingly getting lost in your own thoughts for a little while. The weight of the assignment in front of you settles heavily between you.

“I’m really grateful that you’re going to be my partner on this assignment,” Spencer breaks the silence eventually, his voice soft but filled with sincerity. 

“Me too,” you reply, turning to look at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. 

Another comfortable stretch of silence fills the car as you continue on your way back to the city. Despite trying to fight it, your eyes start to feel immensely heavy. Fatigue from a long day and the weight of the impending assignment finally catching up to you, and with the gentle lull of the car you never really stood a chance and soon you are starting to doze off, slowly sliding into the sweet embrace of sleep as you sink deeper into the soft car seat.

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[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (6/?)

Part summary: "You like Leigh, and that should be that. It shouldn't stop your world from turning, but it does."

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5.520 | Warnings/Tags Unrequited feelings and pining | Author's Note: Thank you so much for the warm reception to this story :) I can't promise that this is the last bump in the road.

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Next part

-

“Thanks for meeting me.”

You came in early, already nursing a Mai Tai, having decided that facing this conversation sober wasn’t an option. The alcohol doesn’t make the situation any less twisted, but it dulls the edge of frustration just enough to keep you seated. 

“Let’s get right to it,” you start, not bothering with pleasantries as you take another swig. “Danny.”

He winces slightly at you calling him by his real name, a telling sign of guilt or maybe just discomfort. It’s hard to tell. “Yeah, about that—”

You're not here for the runaround. Hence, the Mai Tai and the vodka that came before it.

“Look, Nick, or Danny, or whoever you are today. I just need some answers—”

“And I’ll give them to you if you promise me one thing.”

You raise an eyebrow, utterly flabbergasted by his nerve. “I'm not here to make any deals,” you state flatly. “I'm here for answers that I believe Matt owes me. And since he’s dead,” you say, not shying away from stating the grim reality in his face, “and you're in on Matt's little game, you owe me too.”

Danny looks like he doesn't want to challenge you on that; in fact, he looks downright worried.

“Please,” he implores. “This is important to me.”

Your eyes narrow in suspicion. Why is he suddenly acting like a dog with its tail tucked between his quivering legs?

“Okay, what is it?” you ask, signaling the bartender for another drink. Danny orders a drink for himself—a shot of whiskey. That's when you realize things are likely to get even crazier for you before they start to improve.

“It’s Leigh,” Danny says, and something in the way he mentions her name lets you know he's sincere about how important this is to him. “She doesn't know the half of it. She doesn't know I’m Nick, or that I helped Matt to... to be with you.”

You blink several times, rapidly, trying to clear the little haze in your head because you can’t believe what you’re hearing. He's asking you to keep a secret. 

After he lied to you.

“And what, if I tell her you pretended to be someone else and helped her husband cheat on her, then what? She's—” you stop mid-sentence, the pieces suddenly clicking together in your mind. Danny doesn't want you to rat him out for being Nick, about his direct involvement in Matt's cheating, because he's… with Leigh? 

They’re together?

As if he's tuned into your thoughts, Danny confirms your hunch. “I love Leigh. I think I always have. And if you tell her this, it's going to be the end of us.”

The first thing you feel is this urge to be all possessive about Leigh, coalesced with a sour taste in your mouth knowing someone else got there first. Except, you know Leigh would never look at you like that. So, it embitters you even more admitting you shouldn't be feeling this way at all.

You take a long sip of your newly arrived drink, buying time to think. Telling Leigh is supposedly the right thing to do, but it could also destroy whatever happiness she's found with Danny.

But is she though? Is she happy with Danny? 

“So let me get this straight,” you say, the alcohol lending you a blunt courage. “You orchestrated this whole scenario—Matt meeting someone else—just so you could break him and Leigh up? You love her so much you'd do that to your friend?”

Danny looks even more defeated—as he should when he reveals, “Matt's not just some friend. He's my brother.”

You're midway through a sip of water when the words hit you, and you nearly choke on it, barely stopping yourself from spitting the water out.

“You’re despicable! And to think that—”

“But I didn’t orchestrate anything, okay? Do you think I’m some kind of god, picking you randomly to throw at Matt? You guys really met and fell for each other by chance. I had nothing to do with both of your feelings.”

You scoff, incredulous. There's no way you're going to believe anything he says next. You just can't.

“So, your big plan was what? Just to hang back and hope to catch Leigh on the rebound?” you say defiantly. 

The look he gives you, and the fact that he’s not outright denying it—

“Look,” he drones, raising a hand as if to temper your barrage of questions. “There was no plan, all right? Matt met you, and he just couldn't shake you off his mind. It was all him. And yeah, it was merely chance he saw you again, going into your clinic that afternoon. He told me about it, and I went with him to talk to you because he asked me to. I was just as thrown when he introduced me as ‘Nick’.”

You're skeptical, to say the least. “Why would Matt do that? Why go through all that trouble?”

Danny shrugs. “I’m not sure, but I went along with it. Probably because deep down, Matt knew what he was doing wasn’t right. Maybe he felt guilty, or maybe he wanted to be someone else in that moment, someone who wasn't Matt Greer with a brother named Danny, who was at his wedding to Leigh Shaw. I don’t know. I mean, I know my brother, but that doesn’t mean I understand all his reasons.”

A sick part of you can't help but feel less sorry about Matt's demise. It's a disgusting thought, harboring anything less than sympathy for someone who's gone, yet you can’t feel anything but enmity for being duped. Not just by one, but two people who played you for a fool.

“God, what a mess,” you mutter, shaking your head. No amount of alcohol could’ve prepared you for this. 

And then another thought occurs to you.

“You were the one who told Leigh about me and Matt, weren't you?”

Danny doesn't respond immediately, his gaze dropping to his lap. 

“And you did it... to get Leigh for yourself. To make her hate Matt, hoping she'd turn to you,” you piece it together, one after another.

“No,” he counters quickly. You smirk into your cocktail, as if you've just heard the punchline of a joke.

Danny looks up, his dark eyes earnest, almost pleading for you to understand. “I didn't tell Leigh about you and Matt because I wanted to ‘have’ her. That... that wasn't it. That thought came much later, and honestly, only after Leigh started... showing interest in me. I never pursued her, not after Matt died. I kept my distance, respected her grief. I loved her quietly, without ever letting on.”

You look away, knowing a thing or two about loving someone in the shadows.

“I told Leigh because if she was going to mourn Matt, she deserved to know the full truth about who she was mourning. Matt wasn't just the loving husband she thought he was, and she had the right to know that,” he finishes.

You shake your head, dismissing his attempt to appear noble by betraying his own brother and tarnishing Leigh's memory of him. It just doesn't sit right to you, using someone's absence to get ahead. Matt's not here to tell his side, to explain things. His only defense being crumbs of himself he left behind like those texts Leigh stumbled upon on Danny's phone.

With a tad of vendetta in your words, you turn Danny’s reasoning against him. 

“Then Leigh deserves to know about you too. About how you were a willing participant in Matt’s deception and helped him pull one over on her,” you tell him, not missing the shock that flickers across his face. “She deserves the truth if she’s going to be with you. Not just your cleaned-up version where you come out looking like the good guy.”

Danny's face goes a shade paler, and for a second, he looks like he's about to argue, but then nothing. He just sits there, kind of deflated, like he's finally realizing the predicament he's in isn't just going to disappear.

You've had enough of his excuses and signal the bartender for the bill. As you pull out your wallet, Danny finds a bit of his backbone again.

“It'll be your word against mine,” he laments, twirling the ice in his glass leisurely. “Me and Leigh, we've known each other for years. Who do you think she'll believe? Because from what I understand, Leigh caught you in a lie too. She doesn't trust you. So good luck trying to ruin our happiness just because you can.”

His challenge makes you bristle, but you square your shoulders, meeting his gaze dead-on. “Do you think Leigh loved Matt?” you ask. 

Danny looks momentarily unsettled by your question, as if it's the last thing he expected from you. But then, without hesitation, he answers, “Yes.”

“Yeah, she would've stuck by Matt, even knowing everything,” Danny continues. “She'd convince him they could start over. Leigh loved... loves Matt so much,” he corrects himself, a bitter smile on his lips as he admits, “I envied my brother for that.”

The bartender slides the bill over, and you hand off your credit card without even a second look, thoroughly pleased with how Danny’s response has played right into your hands. Once you’re done paying for your drinks, you turn back to Danny.

“You latched onto the idea of me and Matt right away, not knowing if I’m going to love Matt the way Leigh loved him, or even more. But you didn’t care,” you say evenly. “All you saw was an opportunity to get the woman for yourself. You’re selfish.”

Danny’s quick to defend himself this time. “You wouldn't say that if you were in my shoes,” he shoots back. “I love both of them. I wanted Matt to be happy, and he wasn't anymore, not with Leigh.”

“And you were more than happy to nudge him away from his wife, thinking that'd fix everything?” you counter sharply.

He squirms in his seat, looking like he’s run out of excuses. He can’t find the words that’ll make you see his side of things. It also dawns on you that he’ll never see your point either.

After a tense silence, he asks, “Are you going to tell Leigh?”

You stand up and let out a heavy sigh. “Honestly? I don't even know if Leigh wants anything to do with me anymore.” Just as you’re about to leave, something compels you to throw Danny a lifeline and you swivel on your heel to give him one last thing to think about.

“If this thing you have with Leigh is real, don’t let her find out about the skeletons in your closet from someone else. It's better coming from you.”

Walking away, you can’t shake off the regret of not taking your own advice, more than you’d normally like to admit.

-

Suzie's been on edge about how you've been acting lately. She's always on the dot with your meals, but you barely give them a glance before packing them up and handing them off to homeless people on the street who need them more. Your days have blurred into a continuous loop at the clinic, skipping breaks, and hovering around even when it's technically Foreman's shift to take the lead.

Today, Suzie's hit her limit watching you mope and brood in your office's corner. Without a word of warning, she marches in with a bottle of red and two glasses. You’re startled, feeling somewhat cornered, as she locks the office door behind her. Ignoring your shock, Suzie starts pouring a generous glass of wine for you, filling it right to the brim.

“Alright, out with it,” she orders, pushing a full glass your way. 

Your gaze sweeps the room, looking for a way out. “Suzie, I don’t think it’s—” Yes, you own the place. But owning it doesn't mean you're about to bend your own rules about drinking on the job.

“Let's drink it out, girlie.” She sets her own glass down, already filled, and takes a seat.  Last time I saw you like this, your team lost the Superbowl. And let's be real, the only other thing that had you this down before was that Matt guy ghosting you.”

You eye the glass of wine, your mouth feeling very dry all of a sudden. “What about the patients waiting outside?”

“Foreman's on it, as long as we save him some for later. I said we would, but let's be honest, this bottle isn't really enough for two,” Suzie says, giving you a wink. 

You let out a sigh, your fingers instinctively inching towards your glass, yet you stop short of actually grabbing it. You're usually the vault, not the one doing the talking. You absorb everyone else's life stories, nod sympathetically, and maybe offer advice on occasion. The only reason Suzie even caught wind of the whole Matt situation is because he made his interest too obvious—showing up at the clinic multiple times with flowers, chocolates, books, and all those little things he discovered you couldn't resist. It wasn't so much you telling her, as it was Matt's grand gestures speaking volumes, making it impossible for anyone, especially Suzie, not to notice.

Taking a deep breath, you realize maybe it's time to open up to someone, to share the absurdity of your situation with someone who might just understand—someone who, at the very least, also likes women.

“Okay, so here's the thing... I've got this weird crush,” you say, letting that sit for a moment, partly because you're still wrapping your head around it, partly because you still can’t believe it. You can't pinpoint exactly when you started tumbling down a rabbit hole from which there was no climbing back out. 

“On Matt's wife.”

Suzie's reaction is as you expected—her eyes go wide, her mouth drops, and the wine glass she's holding almost slips from her grasp. “You what?” she gasps, looking at you like you've grown a second head. “How in the world do you end up falling for your ex's wife?”

You never said anything about falling. But you suppose that's how it looks, given how much you've been out of sorts ever since Leigh called you a liar.

-

Sitting in your car across from Leigh's house, you feel like some sort of stalker. You tell yourself this is a one-off, not a habit you're planning to develop. Though, if you don't catch her tonight, you'll likely be back here tomorrow, or the day after. 

After that wine-fueled heart-to-heart with Suzie, you left the clinic with a buzz and her words echoing inside your head: Just walk up to Leigh and say you were an ass and that you're sorry. And here you are, taking her advice a bit too literally and too soon.

It's getting late, and you've been watching Leigh's front door as if it might sprout legs and run away. You're semi-drunk, definitely not in the best state for making apologies, but Suzie's pep talk has convinced you that you need to do this, and now. “This is a terrible idea,” you mumble to yourself, checking your phone again to see if, by some miracle, Leigh has responded to one of your texts. Still nothing.

Just as you're starting to question your sanity and consider driving home, you finally spot Leigh’s car turning the corner. Your heart starts doing somersaults, threatening to beat its way out of your chest as the car pulls into the driveway. But as the car parks and the door swings open, your hopeful anticipation crashes hard into disappointment. It's not Leigh stepping out onto the curb; it's Jules. So, it's a family car, and today, of all days, you didn't get the driver you were hoping for. 

A headache begins to brew as you scold yourself for even showing up here. “What am I even doing?” you mutter under your breath, rubbing your temples as if that could erase the last few hours. Leigh might be at Danny's for all you know, making this stakeout even more pointless.

In those few seconds of self-berating, you're completely oblivious to Jules spotting you from the sidewalk. So, when she taps on your side of the window, you nearly jump out of your skin, hand shaking as you roll it down to face her.

“Hi,” she says simply. She’s smiling, like she knows something you don’t.

“I'm not a stalker,” you say defensively. “I'm just…” An idiot.

You weren’t aware you said the last part aloud until Jules chuckles. “Well, at least you’re an honest idiot. You waiting for Leigh?”

“I was, but... I'll just go,” you stammer, ready to make a retreat and save what little dignity you have left.

“You won't get anywhere far on those flat tires though,” Jules comments offhandedly, nodding towards the back of your car.

“Flat tires?”

You quickly unbuckle your seatbelt to check. Sure enough, when you step out and circle to the back, both of your rear tires are depressingly flat, deflated against the pavement. 

“Great,” you groan, raking your fingers through your hair and tugging in frustration. “Just my luck.”

You’re not drunk enough to find the situation funny, nor sober enough to deal with flat tires.

“Maybe you should call a tow or something and wait inside the house until they get here,” Jules suggests. 

“My phone’s dead,” you say in response.

“No problem, I can call them for you.”

You're chewing over the thought, when your stomach decides to join the conversation with a loud rumble. 

Jules grins and adds, “Plus, I've got pizza.” The thought of waiting it out with the comfort of food suddenly makes the idea of intruding a lot less unappealing.

-

“Why do you even like my sister?”

You're mid-bite on your first slice when Jules launches that question out of the blue and you nearly choke on your own spit. Crumbs dust your fingers as you set the slice down, buying yourself a moment to think. It's not like you've never asked yourself the same question. It's just that the answer doesn't make any more sense to you either.

“She, uh, has a way of making an impression. Mostly, I appreciate her candor—”

“You find her bitchiness… endearing?” 

You’re stunned by the way she frames it, but it also makes you smile, recognizing the blunt honesty in her words—something that apparently runs in the family. You guess Jules could say that. Leigh’s sour attitude offended you one time, and then you heard her laugh and saw her smile, and it’s as if the sun never set for you. 

“Her... directness is refreshing. In a world full of people trying to sugarcoat everything, Leigh just says it like it is. And yes, it can come off a bit strong, but there's something genuine about it. Plus, she's incredibly passionate about what she believes in. She has this authenticity that’s rare to find nowadays.”

Formidable. You think of the perfect adjective to describe it a tad too late, but you keep it to yourself, thinking you’ve gushed enough about her sister.

“Is that the alcohol talking or do you like, like Leigh?”

It's one thing to harbor a secret crush, quite another to have it recognized and named by someone else, especially Leigh's family. “I don’t—”

“I thought I caught a whiff of red on your breath out there on the street. Here, drink more water,” Jules says, pouring you a tall glass. “I’d offer you a beer but we stopped having those around here because I’m seven months sober.”

“Oh. Congratulations,” you say.

“Thanks.”

She seems to have moved on from her question, getting busy on her phone a moment later, but you haven't, and it leaves you feeling spotlighted in a way you weren't prepared for. “I, um…” You're scrambling for the right terms, something to deflect but not deny. Because the more you've denied it, the more your feelings have grown.

Determined to see you continue to squirm at the kitchen bar, Jules starts talking about Leigh almost casually, as though she's discussing something as mundane as the weather.

“You know, Leigh had a girlfriend in college, before Matt, of course. So, you don't have to worry about her not being interested in girls,” she says, her eyes not leaving her phone screen.

“She did?” 

By this time, you're not even sure if Jules is just pulling your leg, and you're baffled as to why she's sharing details about Leigh that Leigh herself probably wouldn't tell you outright.

“Yeah, she was totally into her, just like she was with Matt. Then, out of nowhere just tossed her aside like that,” Jules snaps her fingers, “she completely cut her off. They had been together for two years, and she didn’t shed a single tear over the breakup. So, maybe that's what you should be worrying about,” Jules says, putting her phone facedown on the table. 

The pizza suddenly looks less appetizing as you stew over this. It's one thing to worry about whether Leigh could reciprocate your feelings; it's another to consider that even if she did, there’s the reality that it might not go down the way you hope it would, given the chance. 

You've always been told you're too much of a dreamer to be a doctor. That became even more apparent when they saw you couldn't help but cry alongside pet owners every time a pet didn't make it or when you had to make that tough call for mercy's sake. You've been in relationships before; after all, you're twenty-eight years old. But you've always treated them like free trials, never getting too serious, especially during those times when you couldn't stay in the same zip code for more than a few weeks. Then, the moment you decide it's time to plant roots, your concept of romance skyrockets to something out of a fairy tale, something as grand as the universe conspiring to unite two souls, forever. It’s how it happened for your parents, being each other’s first loves. You figured, the same should happen for you.

You like Leigh, and that should be that. It shouldn't stop your world from turning, but it does.

“Liking Leigh is moot,” you say after some time. “It’s a bad idea from the start.”

Jules tilts her head. “Why is that?”

You let out a sigh, fiddling with the bracelet on your right wrist. “It’s just... there’s something between Leigh and Danny, right? And it doesn’t usually end up with the mistress and the wife together. Besides, Leigh hates me right now. Most obvious reason being that I stole Matt from her before he... before he was gone for good.”

Jules hums thoughtfully. “Sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking.”

“It's all I've been able to do since I met her,” you say.

Jules glances at the slice of pizza on your plate, now cold and forgotten. “You gonna eat that?” she asks, nodding towards the lonely piece.

You shake your head, sliding the plate her way. “Good,” Jules responds with a grin. “I'll save this slice for Leigh, then.”

Your ears perk up at that. “You’re expecting her home?”

“Yeah, any minute now. She texted a bit ago saying she was on her way. Plus, she's not working too far from here today.”

“Oh? Where's she at?”

Jules is just about to answer when the front door swings open, revealing Leigh as she hurries inside, her eyes quickly finding yours. There's no mistaking it—she's seen your car. She throws you a pointed look as she heads upstairs, her message clear without saying a word. Then, she murmurs a quick, “We'll talk about this later,” to Jules, who simply snorts in response and starts tidying up the dining table.

The sound of Leigh slamming the door prompts you to rise from your chair, but it's clear you have no plan. Should you go after Leigh? It's precisely why you came here, but now, the wine's effects have faded. Your feet are getting cold.

“You're wrong, you know,” Jules drones, her back to you as she wets a towel under the sink. “About Leigh and Danny.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “I think she's with Danny as a form of revenge.”

You stare at her back, confused. “For Matt cheating on her?”

“Exactly. Matt was aware of Danny's feelings for Leigh. I knew about it, Leigh knew, and that's partially why she had such a strong dislike for him before she began to... well, you know,” Jules explains, her expression contorting slightly in distaste. “It's kind of absurd when you think about it, especially since Matt's no longer here. But Leigh holds onto her beliefs in the afterlife, so it's like she's putting on a performance for Matt's spirit or something.”

You look up at the ceiling, as if expecting to see through the hardwood floors. “And you're telling me this because...?”

“Because you've given up already,” Jules states matter-of-factly.

You're confused. “So, you don't approve of someone you've known for years, but you're okay with the idea of me, Matt's other woman, being interested in Leigh?”

Jules just shrugs again. “It's weird. Scandalous, even. Something none of us saw coming.”

(In your head, you wonder, ‘Who's ‘us’?')

“But when Leigh was hanging out with you, when you were attending her class, she wasn't with Danny much, I think,” Jules goes on. “And that’s enough for me.”

“You don’t even know me,” you argue weakly. Inside, you're kind of doing cartwheels because Jules doesn't seem to mind that you're into Leigh. Somehow, that feels like a win.

“I know Danny well enough. I've got nothing against him personally, but he somehow manages to bring out the worst in Leigh. My sister was… agreeable when you were around. She actually talked about you, even mentioned she thinks you've got gorgeous brown eyes.”

“She does?”

Jules cracks up, noticing your cheeks go pink. “Oh, absolutely. And I've got to say, seeing those eyes up close—they're kind of striking. Annoyingly so, even.”

Her tease draws a reluctant smile from you, a swarm of butterflies doing somersaults in your stomach. It's comforting to know that there's at least something about you that Leigh notices.

“I should talk to her,” you say with resolve. 

“Yeah, you should,” Jules nods, her laughter settling into a warm smile. “I'm not playing Cupid or anything, but I think I like you, Y/N. Leigh could use someone like you around. Most people just back off when her less charming side shows up. When she’s intolerable. I've done it too, sometimes. But I can't really leave her hanging because, you know, she's family and I love her, so…”

Hearing Jules say those things about Leigh transforms her from someone intimidating into someone truly worth sticking around for. And if your feelings eventually lead nowhere and quietly fade over time, then at least you could be the kind of friend to her who doesn't run at the first sign of trouble.

“Jules?” you say, stopping at the foot of the staircase.

“Yeah?”

“I think I like you too.”

-

Approaching quietly, you've left your shoes by the stairs, the cool floor under your bare feet making you feel all the more vulnerable. Jules had given you directions to Leigh's bedroom—right at the end of the hallway. Downstairs, you hear the murmur of the TV; Jules has turned up the volume, probably more to give you and Leigh some semblance of privacy than for her own viewing pleasure.

When you reach Leigh's door, panic floods back in. You keep swallowing, but it's like the desert in your mouth won't let up. “I got this,” you mutter under your breath, trying to psych yourself up. You lean in, ear against the door, trying to pick up any sound. It's silent until you catch the ping of a laptop, followed by fingers typing away noisily. She might be at her desk, probably by the window, or maybe lying in some awkward, back-breaking position on her bed. Knowing she's awake strips away your last excuse to back down. You lift your hand, pause for a split second, then tap lightly on the door. Your heart's pounding so loud, you're half-convinced Leigh can hear it from the other side. 

“Leigh?” 

No answer.

“It’s me,” you say a little louder. “Can we talk?”

She doesn’t answer. 

You don't want to push her into a corner, to demand her to open up when she's clearly not ready. But walking away without laying your feelings out isn't an option either. With a heavy sigh, you slide down until you're seated on the floor, back against her door. It's a small surrender, but it doesn't feel like defeat. Not yet.

“I know you can hear me,” you say, your voice steadier than you feel. “It's okay if you don't want to talk. Really, it is. But there's just something I need you to know.”

You take a deep breath before the plunge. Here we go.

“Look, you were right,” you start, whispering almost, as if you're sharing a secret with the wood of the door itself. “I did downplay what Matt and I had when you asked me. But, to be completely honest, I didn't even realize I was doing it at the time.” You run your finger along the wood grain of the door, savoring the texture against your skin. Unknown to you, Leigh is on the other side, sitting with her back pressed against the same spot, hugging her knees to her chest.

“By the time you came to me, I hadn't heard from Matt in three months. I was... sober from him, and whatever we had felt like a distant dream. I can’t recall the specifics, just that it was... nice. And maybe intense at the moment, but looking back, it was more about lust and similarities than anything.”

Slowly, you lean your head against the door, closing your eyes as you continue, “I'm not telling you this to make excuses for myself. I don't want to justify the deceit. I just... I need you to understand that any impact he had on me was gone long before you and I met.”

Opening your eyes, you glance down at the space under the door, hoping to see a shadow, a sign that Leigh is right there, listening. She is, but you miss it. The hallway is dark and there’s little to no light coming from Leigh’s bedroom. 

You keep talking, now more for yourself than for her. “If there was something real between Matt and me, it wouldn't have vanished so effortlessly. And he... he likely wouldn't have just vanished either, leaving me in the dark without any explanation.”

The door flies open suddenly just as you finish your thought. With no time to react, you're sent tumbling backwards, landing with a thud on the floor. The shock of the fall momentarily stuns you, but it's the sight of Leigh, upturned, that really takes your breath away. Her eyes are hard, her expression unreadable, but it's clear she's been listening to every word.

“You could've mentioned he slept over at your place. Not having sex with him that night didn't mean it was a dismissible detail,” Leigh says, her voice thick. “Do you know how intimate it is to sleep at someone's house and not have sex? To just be there, for the sake of being there?”

You're on the ground, staring up at her. You know it now. Dressing her wounds, that was intimate. Her hand correcting your posture during yoga, that too was intimate. Sharing burgers in the car, intimate.

Whenever you do anything, or find yourself somewhere, just for the chance to be with someone—that's intimacy right there.

“I—I don’t know why I didn’t tell you,” you say. You silently promise to her that lying about your feelings for her will be the last lie you ever tell her.

“You don’t know?” Leigh sneers. “Then think!”

You push yourself into a sitting position, unsure if you should get inside her bedroom or inch back outside. In this position, you're acutely aware of the power imbalance—her standing, you on the floor. It compels you to admit some of your truth.

“I didn't want to cause you any more pain than I already have,” you say softly. “Which is funny because my very existence is likely a constant reminder of that pain.”

Something shifts in the air. You’re the first to look away and you end up just waiting for Leigh to kick you out for good. But she doesn't do what you brace for. Getting a read on her has always been like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands, and it feels like it always will be.

Slowly, Leigh extends a hand to help you up. You take it, feeling the cool dampness of her skin. 

Just as she’s about to shut the door again, she stops short, locks her eyes with you, and says,  “I can handle pain just fine.”

#unbetad #my writing #my fic #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x female reader #leigh shaw #sorry for your loss au #leigh shaw x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #sorry i had to tag wanda x reader for visibility

[anthurak]

So I’ve been thinking more about one of the more subtle but striking questions brought up by Ruby’s tree vision:

Namely; to where or rather to who were Raven and Summer portaling to? After all, it’s been established that Raven’s semblance, Kindred Link, allows her to create portals specifically to people she has established a certain bond and connection with.

And this is particularly interesting, because of the people we thus far know have Raven’s ‘Link’, only ONE was otherwise not present in the flashback; Qrow.

And wouldn’t you know it; Qrow also happens to be one of the people we can definitively say DOESN’T know what happened to Summer, going off his talk with Ruby in Volume 7 where he mentions having no idea where Summer went or what she was doing on her mysterious last mission.

Now, as I’m sure some people will bring up, it IS possible that Qrow was actually present and is simply keeping quiet about it to Ruby. However, personally I seriously doubt that. As I simply don’t see the writers cheapening such a personal and important scene between Ruby and Qrow by later revealing that Qrow was actually outright lying to Ruby at the time.

So that seemingly leaves us with seemingly only one other option: That Summer and Raven portaled to someone else.

As to who that someone might be? Well personally, I think it would have to be someone we likely haven’t met yet. I know some people have suggested it could have been Ozpin, but frankly I don’t buy that one bit. Whatever happened to Summer is clearly meant to have MASSIVE implications, impact and general status-quo shattering revelations, all things it would make much more sense that Oz has NO idea to. Not to mention it’s kind of hard to imagine Raven forming a link, clearly a very close connection, with someone she seems to have always distrusted like Ozpin. Meaning that we’re left with a character that we simply haven’t be introduced to yet.

However, after giving it some more thought, I think there may be a THIRD option:

Raven and Summer DIDN’T actually portal to a person.

Remember just how we learned the mechanics of Raven’s semblance?

It was via Yang explaining it, via information she was told by TAI.

Here’s the thing though; Tai certainly knew how Raven’s semblance worked back when they were a team with Summer and Qrow. But it’s also been a LONG time since then. And wouldn’t you know it, these last couple volumes have ALSO introduced us to the concept of SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION.

So what if in the near-twenty-odd years since leaving her team, Raven’s semblance ALSO ‘evolved’? To the point where she can form her ‘Links’ with more than JUST people?

Perhaps now Raven can form a link with objects that have particular significance to her? Or, and this one I find the most compelling, LOCATIONS that are particularly important to her?

It’s funny that we’ve never actually known for sure where or to who Raven has been portalling to all the times we’ve seen her. Sure, in hindsight I think we’ve all been assuming it was Vernal in Volumes 2, 3, and 4, and to Taiyang at the end of Volume 5. But the funny thing is, we DON’T actually hear the characteristic sound of Raven’s portal opening in the V5 post-credits scene with Tai, only the flapping of wings. Implying that Raven may not have actually portalled to Tai directly…

Meaning that throughout the show, perhaps Raven wasn’t actually portalling to Vernal, but rather to the camp, the home which now has great significance and meaning to her. And at the end of Volume 5, she portalled not to Tai, but rather to the home she once had on Patch. Or, for the REAL spicy alternative, to Summer’s grave.

So what if at the start of their world-most-homoerotic-suicide-mission together, Raven and Summer portalled not to a person, but rather to a LOCATION that Raven was able to set up a link to?

(shoutout to @mikey-polo420 for the ask that got me thinking about this :D)

#rwby #rwby theory #rwby analysis #Raven Branwen #Summer Rose #rwby semblances #semblance evolution

[orphicdreamers-wp]

Girl Of My Dreams — Mat Barzal

Summary: In which Mat Barzal inadvertently falls for the oldest Hughes sibling and her brothers aren’t happy.

Content Warning; Taylor swift 1989 isn’t by Tay(its by reader) Mentions of University of Alabama (reader went there) Trevor Zegras being hopelessly in love with reader. Readers social media face claim is Addison Rae bc idc she’d clear as a WAG for a athlete.

Pairing: Mat Barzal x Hughes! Reader.

Mat would be lying if he said he didn’t sneak glances at the announcers box after meeting you. You had been carrying a plate of food and two margaritas to your booth where your friends sat. Tito had made a joke about you seeming familiar then the pair heard your voice and knew, “Alright now, eat up because y’all are bumming me out.” Mat’s jaw slacked, “He’d known that the Islanders had gotten a new game announcer who was a girl but he wouldn’t have known it was you. You were effortlessly stunning, you had captivated the attention of every straight man in the bar. Mat had approached you as you sat at the bar, “I’m Mat, can I buy you a drink?”

You grinned and spoke, southern accent slipping out, “I’m Y/N, I mean Barzy after the way you played last game? You better buy me a drink. ‘Yknow how many hate comments my broadcast got?” Mat grinned as the bartender approached you, “Another Corona Light and whatever she’s having on me.” You grinned sheepishly, “I’m fucking with you. I’ve heard worse.” Mat grinned, “So now would probably be a shitty time to ask you out?” You smiled at him, “Maybe not.” Mat smiled, “If I may, your not from New York are you? Where are you from?” You grinned, “I grew up in Toronto with my 3 younger brothers and moved to Alabama for college and been in New York for a few months now.” Mat grinned, “Well welcome to New York beautiful.” That was a year and a half ago. You still hadn’t told your brothers who your boyfriend was, just that his name was Mathew. Until your album release came creeping in and you wanted to go public with Mat.

Instagram

ynhughes; my album ‘1997’ is now streaming! thank you for all your support(especially the bf, ‘slut’ and ‘suburban legends’ are 4 us)

barzal97: celebrating you is my favorite pastime. i have never met someone who people gravitate towards more than you. you are by far the most wonderfully amazing woman i know. it is a privilege to say i love you🤎 this past year or so has changed my life. you make living easy and so so much better. i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you.

trevorzegras: alexa play that should be me💔💔

ynhughes: forever in awe of you mathew barzal. amazed a gal like me is lucky enough to be adored by you🤎

oliviarodrigo; THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!! @conangray

>conangray; told you it was them i saw at radio music hall!

ny_islanders; our roman empire is all the sweet posts for to y/n today🥹🥹

sydneyemartin: brb crying. the purest people in the world. so grateful my girls get to grow up seeing a love this pure that isn’t their parents.

>ynhughes: we adore your girls more than words can express.

_quinnhughes: my biggest inspiration is out here killing it. in awe of you everyday sissy🥹 thank you for being my best friend from day 1

ynhughes: in a puddle of tears quinny. thank you for always being on my side, even when im wrong.

sabrinacarpenter; hockey players making me ugly sob wasn’t on my 2023 bingo card

elhughes; my first babies🥹 extremely emotional over you all today

>_quinnhughes: we love you momma💕

jackhughes: 1997 reasons to love my meanie head sister, i guess her bf’s alright

ynhughes: i love you little brat, come visit me and mat!!

>jackhughes: will do, sissy🫡

trevorzegras: i can’t believe she won’t date me 😞😞

>ynhughes: buck up z, your way too young for me. perfect age for @sabrinacarpenter tho!

lukehughes: the worlds best big sister came out with the best album to date

ynhughes; really feeling the hughes love train today, i need to plan for all of us to be together soon! so y’all can meet Mat!

etnow; this just in; the Hughes brothers have brought tears to my eyes supporting their sister

barzal97: the third picture is actually the most accurate representation of your sister now

>lukehughes; always messing with those darn cats! even if they are on the side of the street.

#hockey player x reader #fanfic #hockey #nhl #nhl fanfiction #social media #jack hughes x reader #jack x reader #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal #hughes sister #1989 taylor's version #music #addison rae

[bumblesimagines]

this doesn't mean anything.

- Sarah Cameron

this doesn't mean anything.

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

Got carried away with this one

In the world of the Outer Banks, Kooks were seen as untouchable. They were the stuck-up, spoiled, privileged kids who could do, say, or buy anything they wanted as long as they had daddy or mommy's credit card in their back pocket. They puffed out their chests, turned up their nose, and spat venom just because they knew they could. Their parents would flock and point fingers if any harm came to them, demanding Sherriff Peterkin and Deputy Shoupe do something about the 'dirty Pogues targeting their poor babies' as if Peterkin and Shoupe could do anything more than let them off with a warning or a brief night in a cell.

While they were utterly pathetic and useless, (Y/N) found them incredibly amusing. Nothing was better than watching the smugness get knocked right out of a Kook. Tears would immediately spring in their eyes and their perfect skin would stain with purple and red coloring that'd stay no matter how many ice packs they put to it. The Kooks that talked the biggest game were often the ones that squealed first in fights. Their scratchy, obnoxious voices would plead for mercy, shouting empty promises of staying away and never bothering them again. Rafe Cameron was the only one who could handle a little pain, but even then, the boy was as boring as watching paint dry. One look from his daddy dearest and he went away with his tail tucked between his legs. 

His sister, as (Y/N) came to learn, was a lot more fun.

"Remember the rules, guys. No hardcore drugs, don't get blackout drunk, and don't start anything without me." (Y/N) called out after his younger brother and his group of friends. He was certain the nerd would keep them out of trouble, as he always did when they hung out, but a reminder never hurt anybody. The four of them scampered further down the beach, kicking up sand in their wake and disappearing amongst the other teenagers. They weren't much younger than him, only a year or two below him in school, but they were as annoying as children and attracted trouble wherever they went.

Fishing his cigarette pack out of his jacket pocket and sticking one between his lips, he allowed his gaze to drift over the party-goers present. Pogues, Kooks, and a few tourists who appeared wildly out of place with their big sun hats blocking half their vision. He recognized Rafe and his posse of coked-up boys lingering near the water and Barry making use of eager Kooks and their heavy pockets. His attention dropped down to his lighter and he grunted when it refused to light for longer than a second.

"Maybe it's a sign you should quit." A feathery voice piped up behind him and he turned around to find the treasured princess of Figure Eight.

Everyone knew Sarah Cameron. She was the beloved daughter of Ward Cameron, the pride and joy of Figure Eight, and the most envied and desired girl in Kildare. Everyone tripped over themselves trying to be in her good graces, trying to get a taste of the Cameron wealth and status. Ever since she entered high school, he'd heard all about her numerous relationships. She lept from boy to boy and left a trail of broken, jealous hearts in her path. Her most recent boy toy had been Topper Thornton, the son of the renowned Doctor Thornton and grandson of Judge Holden. JJ had left enough bruises on him for (Y/N) to know him well. (Y/N) thought they looked more like siblings than lovers.

"Nobody ever taught you not to talk to strangers, princess?" 

"I would hardly call you a stranger." She said and lifted the mai tai in hand up to her pink-colored lips. Her eyes twinkled with the setting sun, lightening the deep shade of brown. "Everyone knows the Maybanks."

"And nobody likes them. You might have to forfeit your Kook card if you get caught talking to me, Miss Cameron." He cooed teasingly and she smiled despite herself, rolling her pretty eyes and brushing her hair away from her face when the wind gently tousled it. His eyes drifted down to the dark knee-length sundress she wore decorated in orange and yellow flowers. It looked better than what most of the girls from the Cut wore to fancy events.

"I don't care about my Kook card, (Y/N). I think this whole... Pogue vs Kook thing is so stupid. We're all living on the same island. Why should we be giving each other shit for where we were born?" 

"I'm sure you'll be a just and fair ruler, princess." His words made her roll her eyes again and she laughed quietly into her can. Even her drink of choice screamed rich. Everyone else stuck to cheap beer or half-filled bottles they stole from the kitchen cabinet when their parents weren't home. Sarah twirled a piece of her hair around her finger, glancing away from him and toward her friends. They hadn't noticed her yet and for a moment, (Y/N) expected her to call out to them and walk away. But she looked back at him with a familiar coy smile. 

"Wanna talk somewhere more... private?"

He wondered how annoyed John B would be when he learned he'd taken Figure Eight's princess back to his place. It'd been closer than the Maybank residence and had less chance of a drunken and drugged Luke staggering through the front door ready to ruin (Y/N)'s night. Kiara would certainly throw a tantrum about him sleeping with her ex-best friend and if Kiara got upset, Pope would quickly follow in defense of his crush. Annoying little shits but they made JJ happy and that was enough for (Y/N) to tolerate their shenanigans. 

Tugging up his pants and zipping them back up, he gazed at the dozing Kook. Her long blonde hair had been sprawled out over the dark pillowcase and she'd buried half her face in the pillow, her parted lips forming a small spot of drool. As content and comfortable as she looked, he needed her back home before she chose to overstay her welcome under false assumptions. 

"Hey, princess." (Y/N) reached down to move some strands of hair away from her face and shook her shoulder. She whined quietly and squeezed her eyes before rolling fully onto her stomach and burying her face further in the pillow defiantly. "You need to get going before Ward calls the cops 'cause his precious girl didn't come home."

Tiredly lifting her head, she squinted at him through the sunlight. "Are you worried about Ward or worried about what your friends will say?" 

"My friends won't give a shit about me taking the Kook princess's virginity, sweets." Her face reddened considerably and he smirked. "My brother's friends might get pissed if they see a Kook on our turf. And I don't want problems with Carrera. She makes good food."

Sarah finally sat up and raked her fingers through her hair to detangle the knots as she searched the floor for her belongings. Her eyes finally settled on her underwear and she pursed her lips, the tips of her ears turning a soft red. "You ripped them." She murmured and her fingers began to toy with the ends of her hair. 

"You didn't complain when I did it." (Y/N) scooped the sundress up from the floor and tossed it in her direction, arms folding over his chest while he watched her get dressed and rise from the bed. She awkwardly tugged at the dress and retrieved her torn underwear from the floor before shoving it into her purse and turning to face him. 

"So-"

"I can drop you off at Word for Word. It's the closest store to Figure Eight so one of your little friends should be able to pick you up. I'd drive you home but I've got work and Barry will kill me if I'm late again." (Y/N) explained quickly and slipped his shirt back on, snatching his keys from the nightstand and jerking his head toward the door when Sarah remained rooted in her spot. 

"That's it? You're just going to... ditch me in the middle of nowhere?" She stared at him in a mixture of surprise and irritation, and (Y/N) sighed, preparing the speech he often found himself telling those who couldn't catch a hint. He was a Maybank, for Christ's sake. Nothing about the men in his family screamed commitment. His father could hardly hold down a job and JJ was as much of a playboy as the next guy.

"Sarah, baby, this doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt but I asked if you were sure and offered to drive you back like five times last night. If you wanted your first time to be with your soulmate, you should've let me know and I would've taken you back to your boyfriend. Now, unless you want to get into a screaming match with Kiara, I suggest you start figuring out who's taking you the rest of the way."

#x reader #x you #x y/n #x male reader #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks x y/n #outer banks x you #outer banks x Male reader #obx #obx x reader #obx x you #obx x y/n #obx x male reader #sarah cameron #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron x you #sarah Cameron x Male reader #sarah Cameron x y/n #sarah Cameron x pogue!reader #sarah Cameron x maybank!reader

[ultrone]

Would you write taissa!sister??

🌇 ♰ ˖ –– older sister tai turner

She's definitely bossy. She’s the type of sibling that takes charge and keeps everyone in line. You can always count on her to be the responsible one and make sure things get done.

The only downside to it is that she may come off as strict at times, but it's only because she wants the best for you. She pushes you to do your best and keeps you on track, always encouraging you to reach your full potential.

She's like the type of parent who still treats you like a child even tho you're a grown ass person, but in a sisterly way.

Teases and scolds you a lot but if someone else does it she throws hands.

Gives you lunch money in the hallway between classes. And actually checks up on you to make sure you eat ur lunch.

When it comes to dating or hook-ups, I feel like she'd support you if the person is actually nice and caring to you, but if it's someone she doesn’t like or a toxic/player, she'd be super protective and would get really pissed at you if you don't stop talking to them.

As a sister, she wouldn't be that touchy-feely, but would def hug you if you're upset.

She also struggles with expressing her emotions directly, but she really does care deeply for you. And even tho she might not give you much physical touch or words of affirmation on a daily basis, she would show her love by checking up on you a lot and spoiling you.

For instance, she would buy you your favourite food without you asking and would give you rides whenever you go out. Little things like that.

If one of the yellowjackets has a crush on you they'd definitely be scared af to tell you cuz they know tai would be a pain in their ass 😭 like being all protective and shit, giving them a blank stare with crossed arms and rolling her eyes.

#taissa turner #taissa turner x reader #taissa turner x you #taissa turner headcanons #taissa turner x y/n #tai turner #tai turner x reader #tai turner x you #tai turner x y/n #tai turner headcanons

[woodenpicador]

got an interesting pair of anons on CuriousCat that I posted on Twitter so I thought it would be worth posting here (h/t @sappy-sappho for the idea to cross-post)

reminder that shauna, nat, jackie, and lottie are all canonically straight!

are they? i think we can say that shauna, nat, and jackie have canonically had intimate relationships with men, though i would argue that the show portrays those relationships in ways that intend the audience to question their motivations and desires in those moments. Lottie has kissed Travis while tripping balls but I am very hesitant to ascribe anything about genuine desire to that. I wonder whether canon/non-canon may have outlived its usefulness as a distinction: text, subtext, or metatext feels like a more interesting framework to examine media

shauna stole jackie’s boyfriend married him and had a kid. lottie tried to hook up with nats boyfriend. the key word is boy. shauna also wanted to fuck travis and her daughters boyfriend. she had a whole affair with a man. nat was in love with kevin. they’re all straight. u know u can ship characters without making up lies right? the only lesbians on the show are van and tai! u don’t need to include straight girls in lesbianism.

you raise a lot of points and I’m going to try to address them all. starting with the accounting of plot: so I don’t think these are INVALID reads of textual events necessarily—though Nat being in love with Kevyn is an interpretation of the text and not indisputable in the text itself and I really would not describe Lottie in Doomcoming as trying to hook up with Travis—but I don’t think they bear as neatly on “are these characters straight” as you present here and in fact complicate it more. I’m not here to police identities but I don’t think any of this actually precludes any of these characters from being lesbians, whether closeted or in denial or unsure or simply not knowing at the time at which these events occur. people discover themselves on different trajectories, and people do things they don’t want to do all the time (Shauna even specifically says she had Callie to save a marriage that she “got into out of guilt and shame”). the question is and remains: are these characters acting on an attraction to men or are they acting on something else? the nature of the medium makes these questions largely unanswerable in a strict “canon” sense. no character states their identity on any axis with particularized clarity, it can only be inferred and interpreted from text, subtext, and metatext. which, for instance, is how we know that tai and van are lesbians, even though neither of them outright says “I’m a lesbian.”

which brings me to what I think is the more critical point here: you’ve positioned lesbianism and straightness as a binary option, “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” - which I think neglects the different forms identity and attraction can take. Shauna, who shows attraction to men in 1996 only when they are marked by Jackie and in 2021 only when that attraction is abstract versus the concrete article, transgresses against the roles of wife and mother that she has constructed to imprison her for the duration of her life sentence, may be a closeted or in-denial lesbian or she may simply be bisexual. Nat may be (I would argue is) bisexual. at no point did I represent that they’re lesbians, but I wouldn’t reject an interpretation that they are. But bisexuality isn’t “including straight girls in lesbianism” and having had sex with men does not forever exclude you from a lesbian identity by simple fact of having done it. Jackie, whose attraction to men is so tied up in layers of performance, I would argue is clearly written as a lesbian even if you don’t buy the “Shauna and Jackie are in love with each other” formulation. but these are interpretations, no more right than anyone else’s—and no more wrong, either.

but I am a fic writer first and foremost, so no, I cannot ship two characters without telling lies upon lies. it’s fiction, none of it is “true” in the factual sense, but if it is successful, whether fan work or canon, it is true in the emotional sense

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets meta

[thekhoei]

The Beatles and Vietnam (part 1/?)

My Roman empire is whenever my favourite bands have songs in my mother tongue. Today's case is the most influential band of all time, The Beatles (now why im sounding like a freaking interviewer). I wanna share yall a 1987 record by an overseas singer named Kiều Nga (overseas artists are conservative due to the complications behind USA's most infamous war crime - Indochina/Vietnam war). It will take me long to explain the whole thing, so i will break it short while writing about that record. You can find it here on Spotify (im so grateful to still get chances to listen to it, bc the real tape costs quite a lot in my currency, but i can link you where to buy. it's around 32$ in foreign currency. and the fact that it still exists tho i thought it would become a lost media 😭)

This is not the only songs that were covered in Vietnamese, as there was this version of Something by Don Hồ (1992), or You won't see me by Thúy-Hà-Tú (a pre-1975 girl band (?)). You can find some other different and later covers besides the 1987 record on a local channel here. The Beatles and Beatlemania became a worldwide phenomenon during the 60s, and in Vietnam it was no exception. There were so many young bands inspired by them, and even one of our big song-writers Phạm Duy was a fan of them. The Beatles left a foot print in our flow of music during the war. And iirc, there was a commotion (?) relating to the rock n roll wave and The Beatles in the late 60s - early 70s. In old magazines, image of The Fab Four were on almost every pages! It shouldn't be a surprise to me but i'm still so shocked to learn about how the 4 guys brought love to my beautiful homeland, and so many early fans who were, and still are in love with them, like me, a youngster in 21st century. I mean, who am i even kidding, not my country being an inspiration behind those well-known songs.

The 1987 tape was produced by Dạ Lan Productions (originally Mây Productions), and it was numbered the 46th.

Some fyi/disclaimer ig: I did mentioned of why this is a conservative topic. I am a nothern Vietnamese. And Dạ Lan Productions was a product by the overseas singers who followed the lead of RVN/South Vietnam. But i have been growing up with many kind of music without bothering to care whether it is against the government's ideal. And i'm not the only one who has that thought. Most Vietnamese are working class/peasants, and not much gain access to higher education. Music is the beauty of life, and the heart of the composer. Whether it's bad or good deed, it's only love that matters. Not like all of us understand the true nature of communism or capitalism, we only want peace and love, and that war is over. Our current government is no longer against most RVN artists and it's legal for this kind of music to be spreading now.

Dạ Lan tape 46 is a cassette tape featured 10 translated Beatles songs by various artists, with Yesterday/Mới hôm qua, And i love her/Và tôi yêu nàng, Here comes the sun/Vầng dương sáng ngời, Michelle/Michelle yêu dấu, Strawberry fields forever/Tình yêu cuối trời on side A; and I want to hold your hand/Đôi tay thiên thần, Let it be/Chớ âu lo, Ob-la-di Ob-la-da/Cuộc tình Desmond Molly, The long and winding road/Dấu đường tình, If i fell/Một mai nếu yêu anh on side B. Most of them stay accurate to the og, except the Vietnamese version of SFF has a whole new name and meaning (roughly translated as Love in the end of the world??). Mind you that when western music arrived to this land as a result of the first colonization by French, there started a trend named "nhạc ngoại lời Việt", which means creating a whole new lyrics on the original foreign song. I mean it's obvious that not many understand about copyright back then, and the music was only circulated in the country. That era was called "Tân nhạc Việt Nam" (Vietnamese modern age music), along with the modern changes of literature and many forms of art. The overseas singers who moved to a new land during the war mostly were against VietCong, so this kind of music was banned in the northern. Except it broke the wall and bridge that held the grudge.

I will make this a long series to break down the history of The Beatles and Vietnam's connection (will have tag as well if anyone's interested and want to follow) and compare the difference between both versions, as well as finding more information on this topic bc im so invested. There are still concerts and shows running by this generation fan of The Beatles, and im so grateful to be a part of it. I mean, isn't it wonderful that The Fab are still listened by 21st children, like what Brian once predicted?

Thanks for coming to my Ted yap (i'm a professional yapper)

#long post #the beatles #vietnam #The Beatles and Vietnam #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr

[yourkimjaejin]

Pulling Rank

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

She is literally gonna pass out Mark thought as Moxy swayed for the fifth time, her eyes getting closer and closer to shutting fully before snapping open again.

There are few idols that go though what some of the members of NCT go though while maintaining two groups at the same time. Every now and again things get tough. The constant flights, practices, recording sessions, photo shoots can grate on you. Leaving the idol in question so tired they can't even think straight.

When Mark got into those moments, Johnny and Taeyong were always the ones to pull him out and get him to rest. When it came to the younger members, Mark took over that responsibility. And now was the best time to use it.

It had been a rough time for Moxy, she'd been in and out of planes during the American leg of AG's tour. The girls were flying back and forth for NCT Nation concerts. If SM had their way, the girls would have been at SMtown Jakarta too. Now here they were and the company was running the rapper ragged. Getting all the footage they'd need for 127's next comeback. Anybody who looked at Moxy could tell she was running on fumes and Mark felt it was on him to help.

When he saw some of the makeup and hair noonas start to back off from Moxy was when he took his chance.

From behind, Mark slipped a hand into the crook of Moxy's arm catching her mid-sway, "Noona? Could I borrow Moxy once your done?"

"Acutally you can have her now. I just finished up." The makeup noona smiled at them then walked away. Mark pulled his twin in the other direction, her feet dragging on the floor. He guided them to a more quiet corner of the palace where 127 was shooting. He turned her around to face him but kept a grip on her forearms.

"You're probably gonna hate me for this but I don't care. Code: 8299." Moxy eyes snapped open from their half-lidded state.

"Are you pulling rank on me?"

"Absolutly. I've watched you fall asleep standing up five times in the last ten minutes. You're tired and if you keep going you're gonna pass out Tay. So we're gonna go nap and you can't argue about it." While feeling triumphant on the inside, Mark didn't let it show. Moxy just huffed, knowing what Mark said it true. He used his personal code. She couldn't argue. She held out a hand, not without rolling her eyes though.

Mark just smiled and pulled her along to one of the group dressing rooms.

"You know we won't be able to sleep long."

"I'll get the hyungs to stall. They'll buy us some more time." Once Moxy was settled next to him on the couch, Mark sent out a text to the 127 group chat

From Markie Code: Stall

the duo's members proceeded to act like freshly debuted idols, not knowing how to pose. Sometimes flat out ruining shots. Their managers feigned ignorance to what was happening. Turning a blind eye to the groups chaotic efforts.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I imagine M Squared were posed on the couch like Lizzie and Gordo in the Lizzie McGuire Movie when their on the plane to Rome. Moxy's head on Mark's shoulder, his head on top of hers. You best believe the hyungs were freaking out over the cuteness.

Sorry for the delay in posts! Not only have I been working on writing my tour!angst series but also it's the busy season for my job so that takes up a lot of my time so posting may be slow but I'm still here!! Have a great day!! ~ Author Izzy

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr / @1-800-call-ria / @sophrodite / @sunflower-0180

#NCT AG #NCT AG.Moxy #NCT AG.Writing #nct female addition #nct female member #kpop addition #kpop!au #kpop!oc #kpop!addition #nct female oc #kpop female member

[trash-town-champion]

What drinks da2 characters order

In absolute fuck it we ball energy, I am replaying da2 here is a post for any of u who are still here from when I made this blog in high school

Yes this is modern / our world i dont care

Hawke: coronas. No, coors lite. Idk the beeriest college beer there is. Hawke is a ferelden farm boy this dude doesn’t even do mixed drinks he buys 6 packs only. Catch hawke in the club with one of those pitchers of beer thats like 64oz. If he must, whiskey soda(cola), and his go to shots are jameson

Varric: old fashioned is his go to, gin and tonic if he’s slowing down, and guinness if he’s really taking it easy, he doesnt really do shots

Fenris: he’s from tropical tevinter so must be tequila and mezcal, he usually does traditional tequila shots with salt and lime, but he’ll take a traditional margarita, salt rims on everything, he also likes tajin and will do mango if it’s spicy. Wine is a whole other ball of wax but he doesn’t really fuck with anything white or rosè he’d drinks cabs

Isabela: she’s a pirate so she likes rum, rum&coke is her go to, but she’ll do piña coladas, daiquiris, mai tais, and corny stuff like jello shots, blowjob shots, isabela only really likes shots if they’re this big communal event you make everyone do, she doesn’t do shots on her own, she’s the queen of mixed drinks and is low maintenance, if no rum she goes to vodka cran

Anders: white claw queen, trulys, high noons, go to mixed drink is long island iced tea, maybe screwdriver, but he will send things back if they’re not sweet enough and makes a terrible sour face every time he does a shot. This does NOT mean he does not do shots. He just has no preference bc he has no taste for liquor. He will order those ice blended drinks that are gross fake sugary, he drinks artificial shit like green apple flavored vodka, he brings malibu to every house party

Carver: he’s cut from the same cloth as hawke so he also drinks 6 packs. they order gallons of beer at a time and split them often, he’s always sipping mini fireballs out of his pocket as if he’s not surrounded by alcoholics, and he orders hennesy shots flat with no special flair

Bethany: cosmo, lemon drop, sex on the beach, sangria, she rejects beer because of her brothers, but she’ll do whiskey shots with them. she also likes ceremonious shot rounds like isabela

Aveline: ok so she’s obviously not down at the bar getting fucked up with everyone else, she mostly drinks beer and wine, she likes ipa’s and can get surprisingly sophisticated about beer, she doesn’t feel she has the refined palette of good wine choice (but she’d probably pass up many others) if she must order a mixed drink she’ll have whatever her friend is having, and if they’re doing shots she takes them like a pro

Merrill: oh boy this one’s hard. I think they just feed her drinks until she likes one and the ones she picks are so random to them they can’t follow the pattern. In reality, she has a preference for an herbal taste where she’ll like anything that tastes like she’s eating the forest or a garden, gin because it’s piney, garnishes with sage or basil or rosemary but she always eats the garnishes out of her drink whole, and she also likes to chew on the ice afterward. She’s a huge lightweight and gets drunk after two drinks but she really doesn’t mind the taste of them bc she would eat grass so she slurps down many a hard drink and then shes wasted

#if u read this i love u #please send me asks and engage with me #i love u more than anything kirkwall #city of addicts criminals and constant arson apparently #theyre party people what can i say #da2 #dragon age #companions #dragon age 2 #dragon age headcanons #hc #bioware #hawke #fenris #isabela #varric #anders #carver #bethany #aveline #merrill

[indigostarfire]

The Soulmate Label: Causing turmoil due to preconceived notions and creating expectations

In the beginning:

Patts relationship with Nara didn't work out. The cause? Soulmates. She wasn't his soulmate and this made her feel insecure and lonely so she broke up with him. Patterns were set: people choose to leave him, and whether Patts realized it or not, maybe being soulmates is what can make a relationship work.

When it rains Tai didn't talk to Patts for two years. Why? Because they are soulmates. His idealistic faith in soulmates having a lasting relationship fated by destiny was shattered by his parents' divorce. Being soulmates is no recipe for success so why bother starting any sort of relationship with a soulmate in the first place.

Patts and Tai are different sides of the same coin. Patts thinks soulmates may have a better chance at a lasting relationship. Tai thinks soulmates is no guarantee for anything, if anything it's a recipe for failure.

Like Tai, Lomfon feels that being soulmates isn't some grand "wow were fated to be in a relationship" type of thing. To him being soulmates is just a coincidence. End of story. Or so he thinks.

In the middle:

Tai is legitimately attracted to Patts and has to work through his prejudices about the viability of a soulmate relationship. So he is hesitant at first but slowly warms up to the idea. At the camp though his feelings are thrown into a massive crisis when he sees Patts and Nara kissing.

First off he knows that Nara was there to try to get back together with her ex, and Tai was certain she would succeed because of how deeply she seemed to know her ex. Secondly seeing them kiss, Tai is immediately confronted with his biased fears about soulmates--a soulmate relationship doesn't work and maybe that's true for him and Patts.

He runs off and with a desperate determination, sets off to Doi Mae Pliang mountain where he tells himself he will find the answer when he gets to the top. Tai struggles internally. His fall mirrors the chaos and confusion in his mind and heart and now he's physically in pain as well. It rains and instinctively he calls out to Patts who finds him because of their soulmate connection (maybe Tai realizes that's a plus).

Now with Patts at his side, being with him and tending to him, Tai reflects and searches for his answer. Tai tells Patt that he isn't angry about the kiss but the fact that Patts and Nara are inseparable. That is making Tai confused and doubting their relationship. "Are we a perfect match or did we just imagine that?"

Tai is wondering what makes love work, what makes it last? The soulmate connection doesn't guarantee success. And look at Nara; her devotion, sincerity, and love is obviously still there…still drawing her to Patts, still making it seem like they are inseparable. So maybe he just imagined their love, their connection was perfect. So who is Patts going to choose?

Tai finds his answer because of Patt's words AND actions. Patts says I'll still choose to love you even without all this soulmate stuff. And now thanks to a two-way communication exchange, Tai’s heart and mind has the understanding and confidence it needs because of Patts words AND actions. So in the morning when Patts asks will you be my boyfriend? Tai has his answer. Tai does NOT respond with any WORDS but just kisses Patts. "I'll take that as a yes," says Patts. Tai lets his actions speak for him. Tai is able to voice his fears and has effectively dealt with his inner turmoil and he found his answer with the help of Patts’ words and actions.

Episode 10, The Shitshow:

Lomfon. He is Tai's soulmate too. Well shit you can have your convictions and then all of a sudden your life can be turned upside down. Now suddenly Lomfon's previous convictions about soulmates is no longer ironclad. Obviously he is buying into this whole soulmate, "I'm fated to be with you" mindset because why else would he feel entitled enough to orchestrate a date with Tai to figure out how he feels. The key chain is fate, I'm your soulmate, therefore maybe you're the one I'm suppose to be in love with. Oh this soulmate issue has Lomfon's mind in massive confusion and turmoil. Who is he really in love with? Tai or Tien? Who has his heart?

Lomfon is Tai's soulmate. For Tai that doesn't matter. He is in love with Patts and they have built up enough loving experiences together that now Tai is finally ready to consummate their relationship. For the romantic, idealistic Tai, a man of very few words if at all, for someone whose actions speak louder than words, this is such a big deal.

Patts fell in love with Tai and then later finds out Tai is his soulmate. Wow, perfect! Maybe this relationship has a better chance at working out. Being soulmates is a big deal for Patts. Then the bomb drops and he finds out about Lomfon being soulmate #2. Now Patt feels threatened. Turmoil ensues. He no longer has that security of being the destined one, that fated, one-and-only soulmate. Two soulmates? Inconceivable, nevertheless Patts is visibly shaken and angry. Underneath the surface, just waiting to pounce and prey upon Patts, is his fear because now who's the better soulmate partner for Tai? Nara left him. Maybe Patts isn't good enough and Tai will leave him too.

The shitshow happens. The lies, the kiss with Lomfon, and Patts can no longer keep his fears at bay. He becomes unhinged. Tai is so distraught seeing Patts like this that he rails to the heavens and the soulmate bonds are broken. From here on out things will start getting interesting. Strip away the whole soulmate label and what is each person left with? The potential to see more of the truth.

Tai let's his actions speak for him; he decides to be Patts' boyfriend, he had sex with him--all of this is proof of Tai's choice. Nothing needs to be said. His actions are proof of his love. The problem is that Tai expects Patts to understand this about him. And maybe Patts could understand this if he was calm but Patts isn't calm. Tai tells him, "Do I have to choose? You have to know that I love you so much." But Patts can't comprehend what Tai is saying due to the lies and the fear and anger getting in the way.

I can understand Tai's wanting to wait and continue talking after Patt has calmed down. But when Patts shows up at his house, dude please for god's sake, what's so difficult for you say the words?! Pikachu, I choose you! (Sorry, I just couldn't help myself.) I was struck by Tai's obstinate and adamant refusal to say those three simple words. @fadelikeclouds does a great job of diving into Tai's mind and explaining Tai's and Patts' dynamics. This post helped me understand that Tai might be frustrated and hurt that Patts doesn't truly understand him. Maybe this hurt is huge because he feels Patts doesn't understand all the pain and turmoil he suffered in order to arrive at his decision to be his boyfriend. Maybe Tai feels that the significance of his actions is lost on Patts. But Tai, dude, talk about whatever it is that's hurting you, whatever the heck is preventing you from saying, I choose you. More light is shed on Tai's behavior in @lurkingshan's post.

And then there's Tien…dear god every scene he was in I got destroyed. My heart got ripped out and curb stomped. @heretherebedork and @bengiyo's Not All Gays are Great say it all in their posts. (Bengiyo's take on all the characters is so spot on and just a great read.)

Now without this soulmate issue clouding the picture, maybe Lomfon can have more clarity. Maybe Tai and Patts can work through their issues and clear up their misunderstandings. And maybe at the end of the day Tien can finally have someone in his corner who cares and loves him too because he is the only character whose heart is untouched by all the biases and preconceived notions that this soulmate label comes with. He just loves honestly with his whole heart.

#I love this show #it gives me so much to think about #la pluie #la pluie series #mlite reflections

[fiapartridge]

soft thoughts !!

lol not all of these r soft

will + daisy

mmm they’re both kinda introverted like when they’re with strangers or ppl they just don’t know, they cling to each other

they’re both golden retrievers wbk

daisy could talk for hours and will would listen

they still have that relationship where they’re kinda mean to each other because that was their bond when she was acting like she hated him

he buys her flowers

he calms her down thru her anxiety attacks and she does that for him too

she counts the freckles on his face when she’s bored

they go on picnics together + paint

they went to eras tour & traded bracelets with everyone

will initiated most of the trades because daisy was kinda shy

they obsess over dogs together

they literally go to the park to go dog watching

when they get an apartment together, they have a golden retriever but will kept him when they broke up :(

luke + mabel

luke definitely has a social battery so when he gets tired of the guys, he goes to mabel and they just nap together

she puts her hands in his curls and twists them around her finger

he buys her books

they go hiking together

luke is like a teddy bear and mabel loves cuddles

when luke gets frustrated, mabel’s the only one that can calm him down

she wears all of his clothes: his hats, hoodies, shirts, boxers — he’s never worried if he loses clothes because he knows mabel has it

they go to music festivals together like they def went to coachella or camp flog gnaw

ik they get lit together — they get lit with jack & quinn too during the summer, sometimes (if they’re lucky) cole joins in & then it’s a party

luke likes beer but mabel’s a strawberry mojito, mai tai, malibu sunset typa girl

they’re very independent like they spend a lot of time together and they’re always texting but they also have space — like he can hang with the boys & she can hang with her friends, he lives in nj & she lives in new york, they don’t have a problem with long distance at all

it’s kinda nice to have a breather once and and while

and they’re not known as “luke and mabel”, but as “luke” and “mabel”

she wears his jersey to all of his games & when she can’t go, she’s watching it at home or she gets notifications about the game when she’s out

her friends and her have watch parties for luke’s games sometimes if he’s on a roadie

when they became a couple, their moms had to give them the no sex talk while they were at the lake house

they ended up having sex anyways but they usually tried to do it when no one was home

#perreault!sister x will smith #bsf!mabel x luke hughes

[cinimon01]

You meet a better sort of bum in a marina.

1st of April 2024: I know, April fools day. However it was the day we chose to start to live on board our new boat. We had meticulously packed so we each had 30kg, as allowed by Qantas. This process took into account the things already on board, those we may need, those things we just wanted to take whether we needed them or not and those things we want to have just in case. Another 3 hour flight and 3 hour car ride. We hired a car for a week to be able to get to all of the shops and buy all of the stuff we would need. Mainly food and gas and fuel.

3rd April 2024: Paid a visit to customs as our customs form stated we were able to stay in New Zealand on Mai Tai until June 2024. We wanted to stay for the allotted 2 years each boat receives when they first arrive, but somewhere in the purchase this was changed to June. So we started the process at customs. We found out that having a foreign boat in New Zealand allowed us to avoid all taxes on any purchases. Wow so if we needed a new freezer @ $2500 NZ we would get $375 off. Not too shabby.

5th April 2024: Went to my first yoga class in Opua. So close to the Marina, I just walked about 10 minutes and the community hall was next to the car ferry. Great view of the BOI from the front door. Great class run by a lovely lady called Ines who was selling bananas from her tree.

We had to sort out our gas cylinders as they were foreign and we couldn't get them filled here in NZ. They didn't meet their high standard but fit perfectly into our cubby hole for cylinders in the cock pit. So on the last day before we returned the car we drove to Keri Keri where a cylinder servicing centre was only too happy to help. They said the cylinders were aluminium and worth about $400 each. They would be good for a few more years yet. Great news as we were thinking of just getting new ones. Back to Whangarie delivered the car, taxi to bus station, bus back to Opua, walk down the hill and now we are truly living on a boat without any other form of transport.

On the morning of the 5th our good friends from Bali were here on a cruise and we were able to pick them up and bring them to the boat. Still no sailing as we were waiting for a sail track installation. It was great to welcome aboard our first guests and they loved the boat. Ironically, they will be back next week on a different cruise, so we will see them again and go sailing.

While we we in Whangarie, the good guys from New Zealand Yacht Services came to check everything was ready for the sail track install. It just happened that they were able to get the boom off easily, remove the old track easily and so they decided to install the new track. We weren't even there. Job done and now we can go sailing.

11th April 2024: Extreme weather conditions saw us stuck on board for nearly 2 days and during the night the font hatch in the main cabin leaked. My pillow and mattress was wet and my enthusiasm dampened. So since we bought the boat, the sail track needed replacing, the gennaker was torn to shreds so a new one was ordered, the helm clutch break knob fell off and had to be repaired and replaced and now the hatch leaked. Luckily the boat came with spares and David re installed a new one and its water proof! yay!

15th April 2024: Peter and Diana arrived and we took off. We stretched our sails into nearly zero wind and had a fun day trying to make Mai Tai go without much help from the westerly. We picked up a mooring for $600 for 6 weeks in Kororareka bay, just off Russell old town. Beautiful spot.

18th April 2024: Went to yoga in Russell. First time David drove me to shore in the tender and went for a walk while I made new acquaintance with my muscles. Then off to Opua for a Rally meeting. It was extreemly informative and there are about 60 to 70 boats going between May and June. Some are going to Tonga, Tahiti, Fiji and Vanuatu. We are excited to go in 2025, but seriously need to get to know our boat first.

16th April 2024: Yoga again in Opua, washing and we got our yellow customs form! So David bought a fishing rod and some new lines and a custom step we designed so we can easily step up onto the roof when sailing. Looks great. Now we just need some great weather and we are off to explore the Bay Of Islands and catch a fish.

[mixergiltron]

Here's a classic.

Victor “Trader Vic” Bergeron was responsible for creating some of the most iconic Tiki drinks. The Mai Tai(the most iconic of Tiki drinks),the Scorpion,and the Fogcutter. Well,I finally got around to picking up a bottle of sherry,and was able to mix this classic drink.

Originally called the Samoan Fogcutter(and still called that at Trader Vic's locations),some folks try to attribute it to Donn Beach because of his association with Edna Earle's Fog Cutter restaurant. But Vic published the recipe in his 1947 Bartender's Guide,well before the restaurant opened.

(A clipping of Edna and her restaurant.)

The name is supposed to indicate that it will clear your mind. But with this potent mix of spirits,Vic's quote is more accurate: “Fog Cutter, hell. After two of these you won’t even see the stuff,”. Due to its strength,Vic had a strict limit of two per customer;his drink menu postcard from the 1940s stated: "What a sneaker - positively only two to a person; really, I don't see why people buy them." It does have serious kick,just one gets the job done,and if you're having two you really want to be home on your couch. The recipe has several variations,usually swapping the amounts of orange and lemon juice,and sometimes the drink is blended. Here is the most common recipe:

Mix #137 Fogcutter

1.5oz light rum 1/2oz gin 1/2oz cognac 2oz orange juice 1oz lemon juice 1/2oz orgeat 1/2oz oloroso sherry

Shake everything except sherry with ice and pour into mug. Float sherry on top.

Very tart and citrus-y. And every bit as strong as its reputation. If you like sour drinks,you'll love this one. Now I know nothing of sherry,I know rum. So I just basically picked up a cheap bottle of Taylor that is supposed to be general use sherry. If I were to do this again(and my recommendation to you),I'd get oloroso sherry,which is sweeter. I'd also use tangerine juice instead of orange to dial down the tartness,but that's just my personal taste. And if you want to be completely authentic,get the proper Trader Vic mug to drink it with.

Enjoy folks. And get your beads ready for next week.

#tiki drinks #tiki #tikiculture #rum cocktails #rum drinks #cocktails #rum #tikilife #trader vic

[inconsistent-kuroshitsuji-blog]

The Kuroshitsuji characters drunk

It's been a few days now, huh..? Uhm, well, in my defense, I have basically succumbed to Animal Crossing New Horizons to the point where I even take my Switch to places you'd never take one to. Am I embarassed? Maybe a little bit. Will I continue to do so? Absolutely. But this is not todays topic.

These headcanons contain the mention of alcohol, NSFW, bad mental health and other mature content. Read at your own risk.

Sebastian Michaelis

he only gets drunk on birthdays, certain events and on evenings

said evenings often include something or someone fucking up his day beforehand

so basically, he never gets drunk without a reason

he isn't really sad or over the top happy when drunk. He's the chill kind who you can have some real great conversations with

What? You wanna know about that one time a volcano errupted and killed an entire civilization? Sure.

His liquor of choice is either rum or tequila

prefers red wine over white wine

he's a lot more friendly to others while drunk. Not because he has to, but because he actually wants to.

which also means that he's a bit more touchy with you

and a lot more needy

kissing the sensitive parts of your neck while voicing what he wants to do to you. No thoughts left unspoken.

I imagine that demons can sober up at will just like in Good Omens, which he will do when you and him get more intimate with each other

hangover? he barely knows that

Grell Sutcliff

a fun night out, birthdays, partying with Ronald, a nice dinner, nothing a bit of alcohol couldn't make more fun

she can and will drink if she has the chance to. But don't worry, Grell knows when to stop before it gets too much

she prefers red wine (who would have thought...), but also likes some cocktails mai tai and tequila sunrise

Grell manages to be even more energetic while drunk

it doesn't take much for her to get tipsy

drags you on the dancefloor to dance with her or do other crazy shit together

she once actually broke into a zoo to pet the tigers because they reminded her of Sebastian

everything is an adventure to her

but Grell is also the type to throw up if she drank too much, so please do her a favor and hold her hair

sex while drunk? nah, better not.

her hangovers are so strong that she usually takes the next day off

Undertaker

he rarely drinks, simply because he often doesn't have the time to do so

resurrecting the dead doesn't allow any drunk accidents

but if he can drink he will most likely do it in a pub

vodka and irish whisky, these are his favourites

he's either really happy or really, really depressed. And trust me, you better hope for the first option

he laughs at anything, no matter how unfunny it actually is.

Your grandma died and because of that you're drinking your sorrows away? How funny, he just had a customer of that age.

but if not...well...

you usually never see him cry, especially if you're a stranger to him. But under the influence of alcohol he let's go of his hold on his emotions.

the death of people he cared about, the fear of balding, being alone and unliked by everyone, it just comes up and breaks him completely down

even to the point of receiving the number of mental health hotlines multible times

fortunately for him, he quickly falls asleep after being drunk for too long

Claude Faustus

he also only gets drunk on specific occasions.

for example after a terrible day, his or your birthday, just this kinda stuff

but as to not turn into an alcoholic, he started measuring terrible on a different scale than we would

tries something new every now and then, but he tends to buy wine and way too expensive gin the most

but it takes a while until he actually is under the influence of it

drunk Claude comes in a happy and in a sad option

the happy one is similar to Sebastian, only that he is even more talkative

did you know he had an emo phase? Well, now you do. Want to know how lava tastes? Really not pleasant, like liking a rock but a lot hotter with the stinging taste of dry ash to it.

but when he tends to go towards the sad side, he just stares into a candle flame and talks to it, how soothing its' light is, how unfair his life is compared to those of others.

but no matter which one you got, he just can't seem to think straight anymore

which also means that he can go from sad to horny in a matter of seconds, telling you straight forward that he wants to be inside you right now

he doesn't get hung over anymore

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Took me quite while, huh? I'm on holiday now, so I finally have the time (and energy) to write again.

Remember that I take requests, but please read my guidelines before sending your request.

Tune in next time for...

A Random Scenario That A Generator Will Generate For Me: Part 1

Your Inconsistent Kuroshitsuji Blog~

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #claude faustus #sebastian michaelis #grell sutcliff #black butler undertaker #black butler sebastian michaelis #black butler claude faustus #black butler grell sutcliff