#and anyone hurting them would be the enemy until proven otherwise

[furiousgoldfish]

(personal post, need an opinion on falling out with a friend. tw for description of childhood physical abuse and forced alcohol consumption.)

Recently I found out that the most destructive trauma symptoms I had were due to repressed rage, and I decided to try and work on expressing the rage, mostly via writing since I'm currently not in a shape to do anything physical. I've talked about it to a childhood friend, who is usually very kind, and they offered if I wanted to talk about the trauma, and express my anger to them, I should.

So I spoke about it a little, with not much detail, and the friend started asking me questions like, 'well, why did the abusers do this to you?' which already was annoying, I dislike greatly having to put myself in the abuser's head, because then I lose my own sense of self and have to see myself thru their eyes, which is the worst possible way to see myself. But, I've tried to explain their intentions (control, power, sabotage, keeping me captive and helpless). Then at one point, I talked about an incident where I was pinned down and pressed on the floor, my arms were held still, my head was held upright, one person held my nose closed and another poured strong alcohol down my throat, while I was screaming, shaking and crying. I was terrified and the alcohol hurt my throat. Afterwards I just went into shock and went numb and lost memories of anything that happened afterwards.

And my friend goes 'Well, why did they do that?' and I try to remember and it's like 'well they thought I had some disease and the alcohol was apparently, the cure' and my friend goes 'oh, well they were well-meaning then!'

And I just completely lost my nerve. The words struck me like lightning because that cannot be well meant, pinning a child down while they're crying, terrified and shaking, and forcing something in their throat. I could have been taken to a doctor and healed normally. It wasn't even a cure, they were experimenting and using any kind of excuse to hurt me 'for my own good'. Next time I had any kind of problem I simply didn't say anything to anyone because I understood that if someone found out, I would be tortured.

I told my friend that it 'wasn't well meant' and they 'should have taken me to the doctor', but my friend, insisted that the intention behind the act was good, even if it wasn't 'very pleasant for me', which also, struck me like a minimization of what I went thru. It was not 'unpleasant', it was traumatic. I dissociated and lost memories.

I ended up shutting down the conversation, and I told my friend I need space. My friend continued to send me messages over the next few days asking me to talk to them, but I feel livid and disappointed every time I even think about talking to them. I don't know what to do, I feel almost kind of dumb because this friend always acts like that, it just usually doesn't hurt me that badly. Usually when they go 'well maybe this person who hurt you had good intentions' I can just go 'lol nah' and not linger on it. I shouldn't have spoken about trauma to them - but I was also not in my right mind, affected by inner rage and desperate to talk to someone.

I need a third person view into this situation, because I'm still not in my right mind. I've been trying to write my anger down and figure it out and I ran thru a pen already and filled half a notebook and I got absolutely nowhere except that I feel dreadful.

#trauma #personal #okay to reblog #comments invited #i don't understand the friend's point of view #if someone I love got hurt #last thing in my mind would be what the person hurting them meant to do #i'd want my beloved person safe #and anyone hurting them would be the enemy until proven otherwise #i feel like my friend doesn't care about me and only cares about maintaining the moral high ground #but also i feel like thats their honest take on every situation #and i'm not sure how to talk to them again or if i need a lot of distance before discussing even trivial things

[phoebified]

ooooobliiiiigaaatory sso post because new dark rider design dropped! erissa (not sure why they didnt just keep elise or change it to eris? but that's ok!), the remake of chiyo, just dropped, and... she's white! interesting. there were a lot of ways sso could've saved the dark riders fumbles. there were a LOT of those fumbles, but the one i hammered on the hardest was chiyo, because i myself am japanese, and immediately know a bad design when i see one. likewise, i'm pretty spot on with calling how that character will most likely be written, and can make a few good solid guesses. i will say, i feel lots more in common with sabine, and am against the way they designed someone i could relate to and then painted them staunchly as a villain; likewise with all the dark riders, this may be sso's most diverse group yet, and they are villains. HOWEVER. at that point, they had already put them in-game, and now all i can hope for is some good old fashioned childhood "everything ends up fine" writing that shows these characters some love and perhaps sways them from their homocidal ways.

back to erissa.

why was chiyo's design racist? well, it wasn't just her. most of the dark riders were handled poorly. to be honest, i've talked SO much on this blog about why chiyo was such a bad design that i simply don't want to rehash it. was it the worst i'd ever seen? no. but putting in those stereotypes to a game children -- WHITE children -- play is like teaching children to hit bees nests for fun. it's pointless and hurtful to everyone.

SO: what do i think of erissa? she's cute! i like this design way better than the last.

that's it. whole idea. i think the colors are more comprehensive, i like the crochet details, i think the hobby horse looks a little silly but i kinda like it. overall, i am happy.

now you're probably wondering, "what, so sso can't make non white villains!?" and the answer to that is 1. don't be stupid and 2. of course they can. but they better put just as much effort into the rest of sso. they don't, though. our only buff woman is alex, who barely counts because she's kinda small as fuck in game. that leaves Sabine, who's more buff. her character is nonwhite, visibly has arm hair, and until proven otherwise, is nonhuman. not only that, she's evil. that sends some pretty strong messages, and, side tangent, but to anyone too goofy or too stubborn to see how that's a problem, i'm excited to see how the children in YOUR family turn out, be it yours or other family member's. will YOU teach them what racism is and why it exists and the complexities of it that people scoff at that allow it to continue to exist day in and day out, or will you let them play all the other games that DONT revise their writing, where the good characters are straight and white and every other type of "normal" and the enemies are gay or nonwhite or both? anyway. i hope you see my point.

"children will experience this stuff ANYWAY!" sure. why add to it?

"oh, so you're pulling a save the children thing? so what, you want everyone to be th3 same?" no. i want them to take chiyo's design, make her clothes look better, make her default state not like a mouse, and put her in the game as sso's like. only japanese character. i'd fucking love that! do you know how little representation there is for weird japanese girls? we dont got dick or shit. it'd be so fun to have a slightly redesigned chiyo as an npc, i'd totally fucking adore that! different clothes bc i think her past design was a little. ourgh. it'd be fun and cool if they made her like, a budding emo? omg that'd resonate with so many people i'm sure, and the purple hair is already suited to it. black hair would also be cool, though. do you see what im saying here, though? context is everything. im sad sabine is a bad guy. im sad every white girl who plays this game gets someone to relate to. i guess i too really relate to and like anne, but that's where the similarities end. it's easy to say "why does race matter?" in a sea of white people if you're white, but it can get lonely playing any video game if you're not white. sso is one of the best games ive found in terms of trying to really add diversity (although im still waiting for updated fat npcs), and that's why i weighed in so heavily. it matters to me. i love this game. i think they've done so much good with it recently, i'm really just beyond impressed and in love.

i think erissa is a good design.

#sso #also not arguing with anyone 🕺

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hey! Can you write something with Chishiya and Y/N when she almost died in game beacuse of Niragi but didn't tell anyone about this (he tripped her on purpouse or smth). Chishiya finds her up on the roof few days later really anxious+crying beacuse her visa is ending and she is scared that Niragi will come and play the same game as her and will try to do something bad. Chishiya becames really protective over her especially when he sees her bruised knees.

Here you go!

Comfort Zone | Shuntaro Chishiya

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Chishiya (ft. Niragi, OC’s, Hatter)

Summary: You came close to dying due to being attacked by Niragi, and you fear it will happen again during the next game. Chishiya notices your anxiety and tries his best to prevent it from happening.

Warnings: mention of murder, swearing, blood, violence (punching)

Word Count: 3.9k

*reader is female

“Just my luck,” you groaned out, lifting yourself to your feet by using a chair nearby for leverage. “Not only am I clumsy as fuck, I’m also stuck with a group of murderers.”

Hatter had suggested you go with a few of the militants for the next game, as he wished for them to test you to see if you were capable enough to join them.

It was a hearts game called Capture The Flag. It was very self explanatory. You had to capture the opposite team’s flag and bring it back to your base without getting killed by them. The game would continue until a flag was captured, and the losing team would have their small bomb strapped to their chest explode as soon as the flag was returned to the team’s base. So theoretically, you could die at any second. And if that wasn’t stressful enough, everyone carried weapons, ranging from machete’s to revolvers, so you were on high alert.

You were on the same team as a muscular militant woman named Ren and a much younger kid (he looked around fifteen years old) called Minato. But of course, Niragi had to be placed on your team, bringing you nothing but more trouble.

The room you stood in was dark and ominous. You managed to trip over a few shards of glass and impact on the ground heavily, causing your hip to throb in pain as you attempt to recover from the fall.

You had been separated from your group. You managed to sneak off without them noticing, just rather being on your own than with others. You thought you had a better chance by yourself anyway, as no one was there to betray you.

In the Borderland, you didn’t know who to trust, so you kept to yourself.

The brightness of your game phone flashed a light green, reminding you of what colour team you were on. You had to search for a base that was illuminated by a blue light and take the flag that was supposedly meant to be there. But so far, you hadn’t seen any indication of the other team. You hadn’t even seen any of the other players now that you thought about it.

You made your way out of the empty room you had just checked, peeking around the corner down the hall before stepping out of the doorframe. The small  bomb strapped to your chest over your shirt felt heavy on your frame, especially knowing that it held your life in its hands.

You sighed loudly and rubbed your hands together to relieve the tension in your muscles slightly. You had to be close, surely. You had been walking around the abandoned hospital for ages, as if you hadn’t at least walked past the enemy’s base and missed it somehow.

Just as you were about to turn the corner to the main corridor, a whispered grunt made you stop in your tracks. You held your breath and pressed yourself against the cold wall next to you, trying to listen to any movements they make.

The sounds of rustling met your ears, making you frown. It sounded like someone was trying to find something in their pocket, moving around the objects until they’ve found what they need.

You slowly peeked one eye around the corner, making sure not to accidentally hit the wall or fall forwards in fear of the person being an enemy player. Good news, it wasn’t. But seeing someone on your team wasn’t much reassurance either, as all three of them seemed to be clinically insane.

Niragi was crouching over a dead body. A game phone was thrown to the side on the ground a few feet away, emitting a bright blue light. The dead person must have been on the blue team.

The blood pooled around the body, Niragi’s boot being in one of the puddles.

‘Why didn’t I hear the gunshots?’ you asked yourself, watching as Niragi rummaged through the pockets of the guy’s jacket. He was probably looking for another weapon or perhaps something to assist him in the game.

Your eyebrows furrowed when you noticed a slight blue tinge on the fabric of Niragi’s shirt. You turned your head the other way down the hall, eyes lighting up at the sight of a bright fluorescent blue light coming from around the corner. That must’ve been the enemies base.

You glanced back quickly to Niragi, noting he was busy with the corpse, still searching through their pockets. Perhaps you could make it if you were quiet enough.

You slowly lifted a foot while keeping your eyes pinned to the man down the hall, ready to dive back behind the wall if he decided to turn around. When your whole body had left the comfort of the darkened hallway you came from, you turned and quickly shuffled down the hall towards the light, looking over your shoulder every now and then.

When you had turned the corner, you let out a sigh in relief. “Fuck,” you rasped out, wiping your sweating brow with the back of your wrist. “If only I came with Chishiya, I wouldn’t be so cautious.”

You entered a room a few steps in front of you that had a door slightly ajar with the blue light pushing through. You squinted your eyes as you opened the door at the brightness of the light, covering your eyes and hissing lightly.

When your eyes adjusted, you felt a euphoric feeling fill your body when you caught sight of the blue flag resting against the wall. You immediately scrambled over and gripped the wood, feeling the sweet ecstasy of victory and being able to live another few days.

You walked out of the room flag in hand. But as soon as you exited the door, your game phone rang loudly, making you freeze in your spot.

“Green Team has now obtained Blue Flag.”

Your breath became lodged in your throat and you felt your fist tighten on the flag pole. If the game announced it to the rest of the players, they were going to come after you.

Your fear was proven correct when you heard loud footsteps down the hall, making its way to your position. You knew it was Niragi, but the fact that he was on your team gave you slight reassurance. He wouldn’t hurt someone he’s meant to be working with, right?

You couldn’t be so sure, so you pulled out the fairly sized knife that you had sneaked into your pocket before leaving for the game. There was nowhere you could run. Down the hall was the only exit you had.

Before you knew it, the angered face of Niragi turned the corner and you locked eyes. He glanced down at the large knife you held at your side, then at the flag. A smirk painted on his face and he chuckled cockily.

“You think you can defend yourself with that piece of shit?” he asked you, taking a few threatening steps towards your frame. Your feet remained planted on the ground, trying not to appear as panicked as you actually were. “Everyone’s going to come here, and you’re going to fend them off with a kitchen knife?”

You felt belittled from his mocking, eyebrows furrowing in frustration. “The fuck else am I supposed to do?” you asked, pointing the tip of the knife in his direction.

Silence filled the air as you and Niragi had a stare down. The grip he held on his rifle tightened whenever you shifted, never failing to make your heart skip a fearful beat.

“Princess,” he started with a sickening pet name, “why don’t you give the flag to me? I’ll protect you.” His sudden change in mood gave you whiplash and you took a step back in confusion, still holding your weapon towards him.

“What?” you muttered out, a bamboozled expression on your face. “I said, pass the flag to me. I’ll make sure we’ll be okay,” he answered while slinging his gun to his side a bit too casually for your comfort.

You watched as he fiddled with the bullet compartments of his rifle. He seemed to have been checking the ammo, making you realise what he was intending.

You shook your head, trying to sound normal, but the slight shakiness in your voice made you quite obvious. “It’s fine Niragi,” you insisted, “I can get it to our base myself.”

He glanced up at your frame as he closed the bullet compartment to his rifle. His serious expression made your adrenaline kick in and your hands began to shake, becoming obvious from the way the tip of the knife was quivering.

“Fine,” he muttered out, basically snarling at you. “I’ll do this the hard way.”

His words made your expression drop and before you could even think, Niragi swung the butt of his rifle and socked you across the side of your head, making you fall to the ground abruptly and drop the blue flag. You groaned in pain, and yet you didn’t even get a second to recover before Niragi blew another hit to your shoulder, kicking you harshly in the stomach at the same time.

You suffocated on nothing, becoming winded from his kick. Gasping for air, you attempted to crawl away from the violent man, shuffling on your hands and knees. Another hit to your lower back brought you to your stomach and you gagged at the sudden feeling.

Luckily, Niragi had quit abusing you and reached down next to your bruised body to pick up the blue flag. “Maybe next time, be careful what you say to me,” he hissed into your ear before standing up and walking away from you.

You laid on the floor for a short moment, trying to compose yourself and control your breathing once again. When you finally came to your senses, you lifted yourself up from the ground while groaning in pain. You had to find a hiding spot, otherwise the Blue Team would find you at their base and kill you.

You used the wall for support as you stood up, bones cracking and blood dripping down the side of your face. You lifted your hand and pressed against your throbbing head, wincing as the pain rocketed from your action.

‘At least he didn’t kill me,’ you thought to yourself. A bright shimmer caught your eye and you turned your head to see your weapon laying on the ground. A grumble left your body as you leant down to pick it up, admiring the way the blue light reflected off it.

You leant against the wall and slowly made your way down the hall, searching for a small cabinet or anywhere that you could hide for the next ten minutes or so. You got a wave of relief when you spotted a cleaner’s cupboard just down the corridor, stumbling towards it.

When you pulled yourself inside the dark cupboard and closed the door, you allowed yourself to slide down against the cold wall, feeling a few tears slip from your eyes.

All you had to do was wait for Niragi to get the flag back to the Green Base and you would be fine, hopefully.

***************

You dragged your exhausted body towards your hotel room, your legs throbbing in pain at every step you climbed. You had decided against going back to the hotel in the car with the other militants, as you didn’t want to deal with the tension of sitting next to the man who almost killed you. Plus, the car would hold half the amount of people it left the hotel with, probably making the atmosphere more eerie.

The door of your hotel room felt heavy as you pushed it open, stumbling into the cold room. You groaned in frustration at your past self. Why didn’t you leave your heater on before you left?

You let out a deep sigh before falling backwards onto your bed, spreading your arms out wide to feel the comforting blankets underneath you. Your eyes closed in content, trying so hard to ignore the pain on the side of your head and your knees.

The blankets shifted underneath your tired frame as you rolled over, pulling the duvet over yourself in the process. You didn’t even have the energy to turn your body so you could place your head on the pillow, so you simply slipped into unconsciousness in the position you laid in, hoping for a better day to come tomorrow.

Whilst you travelled to dreamland in your mind, a short blonde man stood outside your door, knocking lightly on the wood. When Chishiya received no response, he lightly turned the silver door knob and peaked his head into the room. A soft sigh of relief left him when you saw you safe and sound, asleep on your bed. He had been worried from how you were acting as you slumped to your room, noticing that you seemed more tired than usual.

Chishiya walked into the room and quickly shut the door behind him, holding the doorknob until it was completely shut to avoid the clicking noise. He tip-toed towards your frame and admired your sleeping self, his lips curling up at the sight.

“Get some sleep love,” he whispered, running the back of his hand softly down your cheek to sooth you. “You need it.”

Before Chishiya left the room, he tucked the blanket tighter around your body so you stayed warm and gave you a soft peck on your forehead. He glanced back once more before stepping out of the room. He headed back to his own hotel room to get some sleep, feeling content that the person he cares for most was okay.

**************

As the days of your visa grew fewer, your dread grew bigger. Thoughts from your last game bounced around your head, continuing to come back to you in the most random of times. Sometimes you would feel an imaginary harsh kick to your back in your dreams, causing you to wake up abruptly, covered in sweat. You couldn’t escape the fear of Niragi attempting to kill you again. If you managed to run into him again like in the last game, it would be a guarantee that he wouldn’t let you off the hook again.

Just the thought of Niragi blasting a few bullets from his sniper through your head brought you the irrational belief that that was your future. No matter how hard you attempted to shake it, it found its way back into your mind.

The stars shone in the sky, glistening against the endless ceiling of darkness and winking at you from above. It felt foreign to see such sights in the world you lived in, where everything seemed to hold some kind of darkness behind it. Even the label of ‘Utopia’ on The Beach was a complete lie.

You huffed in a stressful tone, hanging your head low and rubbing your eyes with your hands as you leaned your elbows on the railing. The minutes before the next game were becoming less and less. If only you had one more day on your visa, you could potentially avoid all the bullshit that Niragi brought with him everywhere he went.

Hatter had informed you that Niragi was taking you to another game, as he didn’t get to properly assess your skills last time. He was making you go because that night was the night your visa ended. You didn’t have a choice.

Before you knew it, small droplets of tears escaped your eyes, cascading down your face and dripping off your chin. You felt helpless and scared. You could do nothing but wait for the fire alarms to ring to indicate Hatter’s speech before everyone left for their own games. It felt like your time on the roof was lasting forever, so you tried to drag out your time there as long as you could.

You closed your eyes and lifted your head high, letting the cold air swim around your face and bring you comfort. “This isn’t fucking fair,” you stated bluntly to yourself.

It wasn’t. Why did the world think you deserved this kind of stress? You never asked to be in the Borderland. You never asked to be involved with these people. Why did you have to be thrown into this mess?

The sound of light footsteps ripped you from your thoughts, causing you to whip your head around and lock eyes with Chishiya, who froze a few metres away. Your face visibly relaxed at the sight of your boyfriend, smiling weakly as he lifted his hands in defence from your paranoid actions.

“Hey Chishiya,” you greeted him, turning your back and wiping your tears from your eyes. “Sorry, I’ll be down soon. Just give me a minute.”

Chishiya frowned at your shaky voice, approaching your frame and placing a soft hand on your shoulder. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You turned your face to him and his eyes displayed concern as soon as they met with your teary ones. “Wait, baby why are you crying?” he asked, placing a hand on the small of your back and another cupping your cheek to make you look at him.

You shook your head and gave a fake smile, not wanting to tell Chishiya what had happened. “It’s fine. I’m just getting a bit stressed for tonight.”

Chishiya eyebrows furrowed at your answer, noticing how you bit your lip after your sentence. You only ever did that when you were lying.

His eyes glanced up towards the small gash on the side of your head. “How did this happen?” he questioned you, lifted his hand to run a gentle thumb over the injury. You glanced at him nervously as he waited for an answer.

“Oh that? It’s nothing. I just managed to trip over and smack my head on the wall during the last game. You know me, such a clumsy idiot,” you tried to laugh it off.

Chishiya didn’t buy it for a second. He moved his gaze to the rest of your body, searching for any more injuries. He had had enough of your lying when he saw your bruised knees, dried blood around the edges of small cuts from earlier when you accidentally reopened them.

“Y/N, what happened the other day? Who did this to you?” Chishiya asked in a serious tone, wrapping his hands around your neck and holding you protectively. “These look bad Y/N. I’ll have to treat them for you.”

You nodded, looking down at the ground. Chishiya lifted your chin with his finger to make you have eye contact. “You going to tell me what happened?”

You let out a big sigh, accepting the fact that you can’t hide literally anything from Chishiya. He knew you too well.

“Look, it’s fine Chishiya. Niragi just got mad at me during a game. You know how he is. I’m honestly glad that he didn’t do anything else,” you explained, watching as Chishiya’s face contorted into anger at your confession.

He fell silent, making you more tense. You knew Chishiya was really aggravated when he went completely silent.

“Niragi did this to you?” he asked scarily calmly, running a soft hand over the gash on your head again. You nodded, leaning against his touch.

“Alright. You stay with me tonight. I don’t care what Hatter has asked from you. You stick by my side and don’t let go of my hand,” Chishiya demanded you, pulling you into a comforting hug. You tucked your face into his neck, breathing in his scent.

“I love you,” he whispered out, giving you a soft smooch on your cheek. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

You shook your head in denial. “Don’t be baby. You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

Chishiya smiled happily at your words, pulling back from the hug and giving you a loving kiss on your lips. You both held each other close, moving your mouths against one another’s intimately.

You felt safe in Chishiya’s arms and he felt safe in yours. And that’s where both of you were intending to stay as long as possible.

****************

You sat on Chishiya’s small bed, admiring as the young man wiped carefully over the dried blood on your knees. He was being so careful, holding you by the underneath of your knee and making sure not to press too hard on your bruises.

You had returned from the game you attended with Chishiya. Before the game commenced, you both hid on the roof so Niragi or Hatter wouldn’t come looking for you, wanting to take you to the game. You waited until most cars had left before making your way down to the bottom floor, climbing into the last car together that only held two other people you didn’t know.

Chishiya made sure to keep you by his side the entire game, not letting go of your hand once. At some point you were afraid he was going to sacrifice himself for you, as he wasn’t acting too far from it. His protective side had kicked in and he wasn’t taking your situation lightly.

At some point you both had to hide from an attacker. Chishiya had shoved you both into the corner of a small room, shielding your entire body with his with both of his hands against the walls, keeping you trapped in and hidden. The action alone was enough to make you realise how much Chishiya actually cared, how afraid he actually was of losing you.

“All done,” the blonde announced, breaking you from your thoughts. You grinned as he glanced up at you, giving you a cheeky wink. He shifted up the bed and leant against the headboard beside you. “Are you okay?” he asked once again, his fingers lightly running along your thigh soothingly. You nodded, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about Niragi,” Chishiya reassured you after a short moment of silence. You looked up at him from his shoulder. “Why not?” you asked.

Chishiya gave a cocky smirk and ruffled your hair playfully. “I’ll make sure to give him a piece of my mind,” he said in a monotone voice as usual.

You chuckled at his words before placing a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. “I’m sure you will,” you laughed.

Chishiya smiled happily and turned his body. He picked you up slightly and made you lie down before placing himself next to your frame. You rolled over to face him, not even getting a chance to breath before his lips were on yours.

His kiss was passionate, running his tongue along your lips to ask for you to open them. You obliged, letting him have his way with you. You ran your fingers up underneath his shirt, feeling his warm skin shiver underneath you touch. He groaned at the feeling, pushing himself closer to you and placing one hand on the back of your neck while the other dragged lazy patterns along your bare hip.

You two held each other close, getting lost and drunk on the thoughts and feelings of one another. No one could make each of you feel the way you made each other feel. In Chishiya’s arms you felt safe and content, making all the terrible things around you disappear. And for Chishiya, you made him feel sane again. You made him remember that he was human, he was allowed to have human emotions and make mistakes.

You brought a sense of comfort to one another, and clearly Chishiya wasn’t willing to let anything come between you both.

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland scenarios #alice in borderland scenario #alice in borderland one shots #alice in borderland one shot #alice in borderland chishiya #alice in borderland reactions #alice in borderland reaction #alice in borderland x reader #aib #aib imagines #aib imagine #aib scenarios #aib scenario #aib one shot #aib one shots #aib chishiya #aib reactions #aib reaction #aib x reader #chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya imagines #chishiya imagine #chishiya scenarios #chishiya scenario #chishiya one shot #chishiya one shots

[b612sunsets]

Ahhh I’m happy to see someone else loving The Devil Judge - it truly is amazing 😭😭🖤✨ I love Yo-Han and Ga-on’s relationship I swear let them be destructive together!

I hate waiting for new episodes so please tell me one of your theories, it can be about anything! 🥰

Right?! I love it so much, it's really good to have our lilttle fam getting bigger, can't wait until it airs on Netflix, we will have even more people going crazy about it in here! (at least I hope it will become a Netflix series after the show ends like Beyon Evil - another love of mine) and yes, lawful husbands can be destructive together but only to the bad people pls 🥺

It's tough waiting for new episodes every weekend and at the same time I wish for it not to end so soon. It hasn't finished but I already want Jisung and Jinyoung in a second season or working together in another drama. Their chemistry on screen is too good to stop there

About the theories, there's a few I saw on reddit/twitter and I make my own based on it and after watching every episode, but I think it's too early to talk about them. However, since you requested it, there's some that come to mind as interesting enough to mention.

The fire and the story behind it narrated by Yohan

1- Some people think Yohan did start the fire because he found out about the dirty politicians real intentions and decided to destroy them all in the same place before Isaac could donate the money bc he is "a devil" and capable of that since he was a kid as told by the priest with the school incident and the nanny with the maid and dog thing. side note: not for pranking some kids who bullied him because that's all it seems like, right? But in terms of observing, thinking strategically and being one step ahead when needing to punish the whole classroom who wronged him even as young as he was and feeling satisfied while watching the result and staying out of it. A type of mentality probably encouraged by Isaac and the books he gave him to read, unlike a regular kid who would just fight back or endure it. And we still have to see if it really was Yohan that contributed to the maid's death or if it was something/someone else and the nanny thinks it was him.

They think that Elijah even saw him in front of the door right before the fire started and smiled at him instead of smiling at her parents, like she did in the gates of the cathedral in the previous scene, so that's why she hates him so much now because she can remember seeing him as the responsible for it. But Yohan didn't intend to kill/hurt Isaac and the rest of the family, thinking he could save them or something, and felt guilty that he couldn't do so. Some even said that Yohan delayed too much in trying to save them after entering the church and seeing Elijah getting her legs hurt, that it may have been shock but why would he remember everything and everyone so clearly if he was in shock?

It's a good theory but I have my own remarks: why wouldn't he tell Isaac about the politicians himself if he knew the dirty about them then? They had a close relationship and Isaac gave him books about punishment and everything, it wasn't like Isaac was too naive and wouldn't believe his half-brother. He wouldn't have donated if Yohan told him. "Oh he was being the devil and finding a way to punish them instead of just letting is slide and not donating" still, Yohan wouldn't risk Isaac and Elijah with such a dangerous plan if he could avoid having Isaac and Elijah at all in the destruction scene by telling Isaac about it. It could have been shock and Yohan wanting to look and commit to mind everyone's face in that day responsible for hurting his niece and not caring about anyone else but themselves, pushing him away and delaying his attempt to get to them in time, leaving Isaac and the family behind (after they almost donated them their money) and things like that. So he can avenge them now, like he did in the school with the kids. That's why as soon as he could, he canceled the donation in the most easy way by saying his brother wasn't sane enough to make that decision before dying.

There's also the theories about Isaac being the insane/evil one, which wouldn't surprise me because I've considered it since episode 3 but at the same time I'll not be touching that topic now and I don't know if I ever will unless proven otherwise in some other episode

2- The other theory I have and saw people discussing (the one I'm most inclined to believe because I'm Yohan biased but again it's too soon to be sure) is that the story Yohan narrated is mostly if not completely true and he experiences extreme guilt for not coming back and saving Isaac when the church collapsed on him, as seen in the character introduction by tvN translated in this tweet that we now know it's about Isaac:

The last words Yohan said to Isaac was that he was going to come back for him, so he experiences nightmares like the flashbacks we saw in episode 1 and that's why we don't see any scene of Isaac in the middle of the church after the fire staring at Yohan or during the fire and turning to stare directly at Yohan when he narrates it. Because they're dreams and his guilty conscience and he remembers them when looking at Gaon. The flashback of Yohan kneeling down and touching Isaac with Elijah's bear close to him could be after he got Elijah out from there and he went back to put the bear next to him kinda like a "Sorry for not coming back in time", a reassurance that his daughter for whom he died for is safe and will always stay with him, a "Goodbye". He wouldn't just let Isaac's body lying there, he would go back even if it was too late.

Another thing is that when Yohan is showing Gaon his scar after telling the story, there's a book fallen at his feet. I think it was the thing that fell when Yohan standed up from the table and choked Gaon (trying hard not to comment on that choking scene as a 🔥 Gahan moment for our delight and imagination bc that's not the point right now lol)

This is the book:

And the first page of this book says "Never again will a single story be told as though it's the only one." - John Berger

I searched about it and it can mean that never again will a story be told as if it's the only one that matters. It could also mean that never again will a story be so encompassing of the elements it tackles that no other story need be written about these elements. A story has many perspectives that cannot be understood by just a single viewpoint. Isn't that what this kdrama is all about?

One of the translations of what Yohan said after Gaon left was:

But there's also another version:

The meaning of what he said changes a bit depending on which translation is more accurate, more so when we add the book quote to the equation.

Kim Gaon and his connection to Kang Yohan

People think Gaon could be Isaac's relative in some way or just a look alike (I think it's just a look alike to contribute to Yohan's obsession/curiosity and their proximity from the start, that's why no one really comments on it, not even Gaon when he sees Isaac's picture). Dear God, let them not be related because it would make shipping our lawful husbands really strange, to say the least.

What I'd like to say and almost everyone is forgetting is that in the tvN character introduction we already have Gaon's past and know he wasn't always a goody two shoes, the man was a juvenile delinquent and can even fight (the rebellious phase he said he made the tattoo in episode 3?). He too sought revenge for his parents when he was 16 because they committed suicide after losing their money and being deceived by multi-level con artists posing as social service workers. But the teacher and Soohyun were able to hold him back.

Yohan's father could be one of the reasons for their death. He was a loan shark and might have lend them money after they lost it all and it caused them to have a great debt, that's why Yohan did a thorough research on Gaon and was interested in him (not only because he resembled his half-brother). They shared one enemy in common and maybe even a place (churches, Yohan's father tended to confess his sins in a church when his debtors killed themselves). Or Yohan might have researched about him at the time he knew Gaon was chosen to be the associate judge sitting on his left side instead of way before, because it's important to Yohan to know who he is dealing with and the dirty of their past if they have any. And then Yohan discovered everything and saw his picture and resemblance to Isaac.

The thing is: they have the same distrust/repulsion of powerful people who deceive the world and had a painful loss because of that. Both of them think they have the other exactly where they want but they get more confused about what it is that they really want from the other and get closer (as said in the summary of episode 5 that tvN released) while figuring it out. They will come to an understanding and probably join forces at some point. We saw it in the end of episode 4, the scene of episode 5 when Gaon says he can understand Yohan's pain but can't trust him if he doesn't tell him everything and then Yohan says Gaon needs to decide if he will get in his way or stay by his side. Gaon might go back to his rebellious days and stay with Yohan to seek revenge together while distancing himself from Soohyun and Jungho who prevented him from doing so

And that's about it! Thank you for your ask and hope my answer is satisfying enough! 💙 The hardest but also most awesome part is having to wait to see.

#the devil judge #answered asks #the devil judge theories #lawful husbands #gahan #analysis #the devil judge analysis

[etherealxgenie]

Why Lila is Marinette’s Own Fault || Miraculous Why?

(Before I begin, note that this is my opinion over the topic and am no way am bashing anyone’s love for the ship and/or character. I respect who and what you like, therefore expect the same courtesy. However, if this is something you cannot handle, please click the back button as this will be a heavily discussed topic. No flames allowed. Other than that, enjoy.)

So usually in the story, there’s always one or two mean girls who is out to get the main character for some kind of superior reasons to justify. And there’s no reason as to why they act this way just for the sake of being mean.

Like the Ashleys from “Recess”, who tend to pick on kids just for the fun of it sometimes or cause they’re popular.

Same can go for Libby from “Sabrina The Teenage Witch” who was out to get something for what she wants or just to be superior to the other kids in school.

For Miraculous, we already have that kind of character, Chloe Bourgeois, who is the daddy’s girl of the Mayor to get what she wants. And until we had some small character development in season two (which season 3 took it away!!), we had no reason feeling sorry for her and she was just for the convenient plot in the social life for Marinette in the series.

And then… there’s Lila.

Before I get into hand in this, let me note that Lila is not a good person at all in the show. She’s a liar, a manipulator and will do whatever she can to get what she wants. She breaks into homes, steals and molests pretty models. She’s been pretty shown to be just selfish without consequences and unless we get a background story of why she acts this way, she has no excuse. Especially when she teams up with hawkdaddy to now have permission to invade and spy on Adrien whenever she wants? Fuck that.

So in Volpina, Lila is introduced as this pathological liar to get attention in season one. She obviously goes for Adrien cause he’s the famous model after all. Reasonable considering as the new person looking for attention, you seek out the most popular/famous person in the school. That would Adrien.

Though considering with her connections, it would’ve been smarter to try and impress Marinette instead if Lila did her research before she came into the scene. But of course, new person so she wouldn’t know, but whatever.

And we can see Lila easily just says things just to get Adrien’s approval and such.

And so, Marinette follows them around (stalking? really?) because Tikki points out Lila has the book Adrien took from his father’s vault and threw it in the trash.

Now the SMART thing to do would’ve been to see how Adrien would handle the situation and wait for him to leave, if to acknowledge Adrien has a mind of his own and knows when to walk away (which he does). Or at the very least, try to distract them as Marinette while Tikki retrieved the book.

But… no. You transform into Ladybug to lash out at a girl PUBLICALLY, for anyone including Adrien to hear, just to embarrass her and call her out on her lying because she… “hates liars”.

Marinette, you fucking lie ALL the time! Most of those times to Adrien! And I’m not just talking about when in regard to being Ladybug, you hypocritical- (groans)

I can list plenty of episodes: Gamer, Aninmaestro, Ikari Gozen and hell, even Reverser counts! If she hadn’t lied about Marc’s book, Nathaniel wouldn’t have torn it! (sighs)

And before you all start jumping at me saying Lila got what she deserves, I only agree partially. Ladybug, as a public figure and heroine, practically the face of Paris, acted irrationally lashing out at a bystander because of lies which were or were not believable. Lila was broadcasting a post or making the news, she was trying (poorly) to impress a boy. Ladybug gave Lila the Regina George treatment.

Yeah, so you caused an akumatized situation and Lila hates your guts. Hell, I would hate you too. That’s like a celebrity jumping at an innocent bystander when they’re whispering to their friend about a rumor that only the two of them were talking about. You can’t jump to try and stop them and should just let it dispel on its own. At that point, Lila had no real power but you just influenced her.

And… oh boy did things get worse because of this.

Look season 3 was trash (except for moments in certain episodes) and I feel talking about the infamous ‘Chameleon’ physically hurts me but… yeah gotta point out a few things. The whole episode was unrealistic, and it was an obvious ploy to be sympathetic to Marinette with Lila back… but… you’re not fooling me.

So, Lila is still on her lying game, being able to fool the students and the staff?! Okay if you believe a student has so many disabilities without any paperwork proof, you can actually get fired for that for fraud. As someone who worked with education before, that’s just pure incompetence.

So yeah, Marinette comes to school seeing the seats changes to accommodate Lila and upright begins to plot to discredit her for her lies. UM… what happened to trying to start over with Lila after failing to do so the first time?

Oh, that’s right. She gets that way (at least partly) because Lila is sitting next to Adrien. I can understand if it was because they rearranged the seating without her say so but let’s face it. Lila sitting next to Adrien was her real trigger.

So since Marinette failed to acknowledge her mistake the first time, she spends all day trying to prove Lila is lying and in return the class is angry at her. Alya even comes to point out that Marinette is jealous of Lila.

And you know what? Alya is right.

Alya knows at least what Marinette is capable of doing so when it comes to Adrien and how far she’s willing to go. Remember that Alya is the one who encouraged her to break into his locker and steal his phone. So of course, she’s worried Marinette is gonna do something to the new girl.

I don’t blame Alya for doing one of the most competent things in the show: Warning Marinette to NOT go off the handle without proof and not make herself look bad in the process.

And because Marinette failed to do so… she made Lila her enemy AGAIN. It was bad enough you had her as your enemy as Ladybug, but now you get to deal with twice the drama!

Your own fucking fault, Marinette.

Also, the advice Adrien gave? I don’t blame for him for it and neither should you. Yes, his advice is not perfect, but with the options he has on his plate, its hard to do something otherwise.

For every encounter Adrien has had with Lila, it ended up with her being akumatized or a disaster no matter how he tried to handle her. We didn’t get to see how he would resolve in Volpina because of Ladybug’s intervention, but he would try at least in Chameleon and try to get her to see she didn’t need to lie and actually tried to befriend her. At this point, Lila was already triggered by Ladybug and Marinette so she just might have to take Adrien by force instead.

At that point, Adrien just wants to stay away and which he was trying to tell Marinette don’t interact with Lila or confront her cause there’s no way to do so at this point. Maybe he was trying to tell her to wait until her rumors got discredited, but he didn’t say it clear enough for her to understand.

And keep in mind, Adrien is a sheltered child with little to zero social skills taught to him by Nathalie and Gabriel. Hell, we don’t know how his childhood was really like even with Emelie around either and Adrien seems more like the pacifist unless he needs to absolutely step in. And he did by cleaning up Marinette’s mess in ‘Ladybug’. So now he’s gotta suffer being around Lila more because of Marinette making Lila her enemy.

But once again, this is bad writing as the writers of the show obviously forgot what it’s like to live in reality. In the real world, Lila would be immediately discredited without any proof the moment she came back. Not to mention, some of the class have their own connections and have more braincells proven in the previous episodes. Google search and such. A 5-year-old wouldn’t believe these lies in these times. Hey, I believe that because I once had a kid in kindergarten during my time as an afterschool art teacher look at one of my books I illustrated before and said they liked the ‘graphics’.

Kids are fucking smarter nowadays than you think.

The only reason anyone would believe Lila’s lies is if she’s magically influenced with some kind of ‘silver tongue’ spell or something and honestly? It looks like that’s the reason.

I dunno if Thomas Astruc or Zag is trying to insult the kids/adults or insult themselves to say Paris people aren’t that smart. If it’s the latter, you should see what you are doing because I don’t want to believe that because that’s disrespectful.

I know it seems I’m trying to stand up for Lila this portion, but I’m just looking things in a  more realistic and logical way. Did Lila take things too far? Yes, waaaayyy too far and should be arrested for it since she works for Hawkmoth. But it could’ve been handled better and that makes Marinette at fault too.

Part of me wonders if she’s done this before because in Zombiezou, she also causes Chloe to ruin her gift for Ms. bustier. If Marinette didn’t antagonize Chloe in the locker in front of the class, maybe she wouldn’t have done anything. Again, I’m not saying Chloe was justified, but if that was the reason, yeah I can see her doing it for payback.

So to all those fics where I’m supposed to be ‘Boo-hoo’ for Marinette because of what Lila did? Fuck you guys because you need to dig deeper into the story to see both sides and not just make it a pity party where Marinette is the innocent victim.

It’s called “Cause and Effect”.

And considering she made Lila her enemy, Marinette is gonna get effected enough because that’s how karma works.

#ooc #the artist speaks #the artist opinion #miraculous ladybug #marinette salt #adrien sugar #alya sugar #lila salt #mainly facts really #but there is some parts where i'm salty #so be warned #tw: cursing #constructive critism welcome #flames will be deleted #i know the difference folks

[cosplayproblemsposts]

Polkadot Man x M! reader Pt 2

Warning-Vent and a little bit of fluffy.

Summary: you manged to find out the truth but it didn’t help the fact you were still clinging onto something that has been proven true. Abner couldn’t help but comfort you even if you keep on rejecting every advantage. The thinker couldn’t help but feel a sense of justice but also a hint of guilt.

You sat within the bus eating girl scout cookies that you bought against Rick’s thoughts pressured on the cookies. “I can’t believe you actual bought girl scout cookies” Rick pondered on your childish behavior. “Your just jealous for your not stuffing your face” Rick rolls his eyes but smiles and gives you a fist bump. 

Cleo grins for Rick stomach growls “And when was the last time you ate Rickie” you tease. Rick huffs and takes the offered cookies and says “Shut up” you hum. More boxes of girl scouts cookies are handed out to everyone expect Nanaue for he doesn’t eat such foods.

“I like strawberry” Abner mumbles to which cause you to trade over your strawberry for his chocolate ones. You gave him a sly wink to which cause him to hide his face with the help of the box. 

“Hey why are you afraid of rats?”  Cleo asks Robert while you moved and took a sit beside Abner. “Why are you so in love with them ratcatcher 2?, you know what I think?, I think you have serious case of daddy issues” you frowned at Robert. Robert isn’t exactly known as a expressive type and everyone can see it regardless how cold heart he is you know otherwise.  

 “I have no issues with how much I loved my father” Robert sighs “You remind me of my daughter that’s why I’m here”. You couldn’t help but smile while biting into a cookie. “Why are you afraid of rats?” Cleo once again asks the same question. “My old man. when I was a lad, if I didn’t finish a task right, he would dole out a punishment. And one day, he just locked me in a create for twenty-four hours. And it was full of starving rats”.

You sighed and whistled to gain Roberts attention and threw three cookies at him, he caught all three of them. “As imperfect my father was ,he loved me. I wish I could give that to you”. ‘Don’t worry yeah?, I’m gonna get you out of here alive” Cleo smiles “I’m going to get you alive out of here”.

“What about clock” you hummed “Your oddly quiet” Robert pips up “Oh yes whats your story”. Cleo smiles up at you while Abner turns his attention to how close you were. “I don’t want to bore anyone to death” Rick scoffs “Shut up and tell us, I’m all eyes and ears” you frown at him. 

“Uh...where do I start, I was born in may the 18th 1918″ you thought of how you lost your mother. “My mother died after bring me into the world. I was small but strong while my father walked out of my mothers life the moment he found out she was pregnant”. Cleo frowns “So my granddad took me in so all I knew was that I had to live through a time era where if you were caught crying even a little your shamed for it”. Abner places a shy but comforting hand on top of yours “I was different I knew that but different made me strong and I reached for knowledge”.

“I found it easier to keep to myself until Benjamin came along in shape of defending me” you chuckled a little. “He is my childhood friend who glued himself to me from the very beginning, you see we both grew up in the back houses” Cleo frowns out of confusing. “That is what we called them, it’s just houses that were mistaken for apartments” Cleo nods. “I remembered getting into fights with older boys and I was an idiot for believing that I’ll win but I never did” Chris now understand why you protect Abner. 

“But I ain’t no coward for I didn’t run away from a fight other then that the old crow wouldn’t let it go” Robert chuckles or something like that. “I would come home all scruffy every two weeks to the crows dismay” Rick nods. “Years past and I was top of my class even tho I caused trouble and had been caned for it” Abner winces at the thought of it. “I enrolled into university but halfway through my second semester I dropped out to join the air force in 1939 August the 18th” you had to take breath. “I had trained enough to find myself within the sky in the midst of 1942 defending my country” you found yourself growing a pit in your stomach and you felt like vomiting.

“I was battling above a filed like nothing had gone wrong in the first place, the very Nazi manged to slash me out of sky” Robert doesn’t know anything about the air force but can see it. “I found myself hurrying to my death until an enemy pilot collided with me but I didn’t meet death instead I found myself two days before the whole entire event”. “Other then that when the fall of Poland had happened I had to be the last to know” You squint at the box of chocolate cookies before you.

“Around the time Benjamin had been set off to Poland and hadn’t returned so when I had been shipped off to Poland, I searched for him” Robert clears his throat. “I think that’s enough” Robert could tell that you didn’t want to go any farther with your side of the story. Abner squeezes your hand and when you notice you move your hand from his to which caused him to shutter away.

“Hey penis-maker, we’re on a mission” Chris makes a face “Easy inspector gadget. A little drink never hurts nobody”. You frowned at the idea but you really need a pick me up so you gone with the flow. “Expect the thousands of people killed in drunk driving accidents every year” Abner commented. You stare at him and could tell he was still a little hurt from you moving away from him.    

“Here’s to last three hours of being alive” Robert didn’t agree “I’ll be alive. You speak for yourself”. You drank your drink like a shot and didn’t hesitate to ask for another. You find yourself laughing and watch as Abner gag on his drink to which cause you to pat his back. “Easy there dots, you want to be somewhat sober” Abner nods.   

Everyone found themselves dancing with the music blazing in the background. You watch them fail at one of the most simplest thing in the world and you couldn’t help but laugh. “C’mon Y/N join us” Abner spoke while holding out a hand. “No you guys got it handle, I’ll just get in the way” you weren’t an upbeat dancer your more of slow dance type of guy. “No your not, you need this too” You smiled but caved in “Fine”. You took a last swig of your drink before standing up to dance with him.

You held onto Abner’s waist from behind and dance with him, for the truth you weren’t that bad. Abner sways his hips in synced with yours and you couldn’t help but evolve your arms around him. Swaying with your face just a few inches off from his right shoulder. You held his hand and kept on swaying while the both of you smile and laugh. You tugged him back to which cause him to look down at you, you grin and “Damn you are one dish”. Abner frowns out of confusion but by your grin it must be a good thing.

Abner turns around and stares down at you and without warning he captures your lips with his. You stood thunderstruck but kiss back after a few seconds, it never accrued to you how soft his lips were. How gentle and shy he can be, how easy a red tent grows across his cheeks. He had to be the most sweetest thing you ever had met. Far too sweet, Abner had to be the number one candy in the world. 

The two of you pull away with a small smiles on each other faces. You hum and kept on swaying to the music until Cleo poke Abner side. “Sorry for breaking you two up but you gonna have to focus for his here” you look and saw The thinker himself. You nod before parting from Abner to keep an eye on the weirdo over at the bar with Robert pressing a gun to his side.

But now here your with this odd looking man making a way to the back door with him mouthy off. “If you think that big mouth of yours is gonna save you sadly think again” he hums at your words. “Your the 1940′s guy right” you grow surprised “Pardon” he just smiles. You push through to the back only to see half-naked women “Sorry Loves we just want to get by” they screamed of course. 

A solider turns to us but Cleo makes a rat shove it’s way into his mouth to which cause you to frown. “Ah geez now you don’t see that everyday” you watch the man squirm while the others moved on. “Now that is nasty” the man reach a hand out to you but you declined his odd muffles for help. “Sorry mate it’s more like a you problem” he still lays there until he just stop moving. You made a face “Oh my goodness that’s fucking gross” you watch the rat scurry off somewhere else. You flinch when the rat doubled back and ran pass your right shoe “Ugh, fuck no” you shiver “Y/N!” you hear Milton call out.

“That was a gross way to die” Cleo only sighs “I’m sorry if that creep you out”. “No I didn’t mean it in that way for it was unexpected” Cleo looks up at you and smiles. You can tell she is still jumping “Welp weirdo how does it feel to be here” the man only grins. “Benjamin called out to you but you never came” you glare at him and kicked him. “Y/N” Abner spoke softly “Don’t his just lying” you frown and said “Yeah, his just lying”.

“Look Abner about before I..” you were cut off “don’t worry about it  we all have our ups and downs”. “For I killed my mom” you frown and by his very life you can tell he had done it for the greater good. “I know Abner and I’m truly sorry” Abner smiles and lays his head on your right shoulder. “Num Num” Nanaue says so you groaned “No, he isn’t Num Num’s” Nanaue seems disappointed.

Abner cuddles into your right side “Hey Abner” he hums “What are you gonna do once your free”. For the truth Abner doesn’t know himself “I don’t know” you smile. “You can see the rest of England with me then” Abner smiles and says “I’ll like that. Cleo came and said “Hey can I join” you smile and move over for her to join. She took your left while Abner has your right, Weirdo looks at you three before he started pondering over his own life.

“Okay so operation Harley” Rick says to each of us while we all nod.

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I know I said two-parts but I’m gonna stop here for now.

#Polka-dot man x male reader #the suicide squad x male reader

[echo-hiraeth]

Chapter 2: Survivor’s Guilt

Part of the “Illicit Limerence” series.

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: Javier is confronted with the stakes of losing an important coworker and friend as the reader gets injured during a chase. But grief and hospitals aren’t really his scene. The reader finds out the extent of her injuries and condition, leaving her shocked to the core.

Warnings: swearing, violence, mentions of injury, angst and some fluff

Masterlist

Previous chapter

Next chapter

DEA agents were hurt and killed almost daily, that was just the way things were with the cartel. Pablo didn’t care about who they were or what their legacy was, married or not, children or not, to Escobar they were just the enemy’s pawns. Javier Peña was well-aware of this and therefore rarely turned his head when another death within the office was called. He didn’t do funerals, he did women and drinking instead. In a time of war there was no time for grieving, he believed it to be a weakness of the flesh much worse than indulging in the warmth of a prostitute or colleague every now and then. This had become a routine for him and while it ate away at his conscience he never once considered giving up his bachelor-lifestyle. Never until today.

The narco screamed as Javier tackled him to the asphalt, brutally bending his arms behind his back, slapping the cuffs around his wrists. He opened his mouth to yell something out to Carillo when he heard the echo of two gunshots, followed by a cry. As his ears registered the pitch and tone, he made it out to be you. His head shot up immediately, already in desperate search of the source of your whereabouts.

Carillo took the detained from his clammy hands, leaving Javier to find you. Everything went quiet and all he could hear in that moment of utter panic was his obscene breathing and rapid heartbeat. When he rounded the corner, seeing Steve’s back turned to him, a pool of broken glass and legs he could only assume were yours he felt his heart drop. Murphy was frantically babbling into his radio as Javier stepped closer, the blood on the floor sickening.

He stood still next to Steve, watching the way your relaxed body laid in his arms, unmoving. “Is she-“

“No”, Steve replied quickly, beckoning for Javier to take his spot. “Stay with her, I’m getting the med kit from the car.”

He hesitantly sat down on his knees, the glass scraping against the fabric of his jeans as he gently pulled you onto his upper thighs. He spotted the burnt fabric on your vest and thanked his stupid teasing for having secured it earlier. It was as if you were just asleep, eyes closed, a peaceful look settling on your features. That’s what he told himself, she’s just resting, it’s been a long day, she’s fine, just tired.

Usually when you were sprawled out in his arms it was after another heated round of mind-numbing sex, naked and glistening with sweat. He thought of the way you looked then, skin glowing with pleasure, lips curled up in the most mesmerizing smile, eyelids fluttering closed as he trailed his long fingers over your chest. Rather than being covered in each other’s sweat, he found his hands stained with your vibrant-red blood and rather than trailing his fingertips across the curve of your breasts his left hand rested on the back of your head, hair sticking to itself from the mixture of sweat and blood.

It was a horror, the otherwise so lively and feisty woman appearing dead. The more he thought of it, the more he started shaking, panicking, checking for a heartbeat despite hearing your soft breaths. He couldn’t stand the idea of never getting to apologize to you, never having you curled up against his chest again, laughing about something stupid. The mere possibility of never seeing you at that desk again, stuffing your mouth with whatever the kitchen had to offer, completely dropping the “ladylike” act in front of your two partners, it tugged right at his heartstrings.

When Steve returned, putting some balled up spare clothes underneath you to keep them from cutting you up even more, Javier was dead silent and pale with terror. He gave his fellow agent a death glare when he gently shifted her body back to the floor, his arms tightening around you. “We need to get her vest off and check her chest”, Steve commanded, Javier finally loosening his grip, allowing you to lay on the makeshift “bed”.

“Ambulance?”, he breathed.

“Still on the way”, Steve huffed as he carefully undid the several buckles and straps on your vest.

As the two frantic men were bickering back and forth accusing the other one of not being careful enough or being a blatant idiot you slowly came to. A soft whine left your lips as you blinked a couple of times, the bright daylight inducing the absolute worst headache you ever felt. Soon the two of them were hovering over you, asking a myriad of questions while you were just trying to put two and two together. You couldn’t even bring yourself to move an inch, your entire body just aching and seemingly on fire. As you registered the severity of your fall, your breathing started to speed up, the two fussing men not helping you with your oncoming panic attack. Javier rested a bloodied hand on your cheek in an attempt to calm you down, he was whispering something to you, in Spanish, fingers stroking back and forth in a gentle motion. You tried to speak but found yourself unable to, a tear of frustration falling out of the corner of your eye.

“Cariño, quédate conmigo, por favor”, he muttered, “Está bien, la ambulancia llegará pronto.” (Stay with me, it’s okay, the ambulance will be here soon).

He hadn’t been this soft with you in weeks and the longer you stared up at him through your heavy eyes, the guiltier he felt about it. With every blink your eyes struggled more and more to open again, your body urging, begging you to just rest. You were defenceless against yourself, the sustained injuries asking just too much of you, and soon you were out again, breathing steadying once again. Javier bit his tongue trying to ground himself and keep calm as he heard the wailing sirens in the distance. Steve had been taken your vest of by now, lifting your shirt to reveal nasty bruises on your chest, the vest had saved your life. Javier said a prayer right there and then, thanking whatever entity up above responsible for saving you, for letting you stay with him.

When the paramedics took over and removed the two of them from the scene they were in a trance-like state. Steve had been through this before, back in the states he’d lost his partner, which had proven to him just how powerful drugs were. Death was just a part of the job, but losing a partner, that shit was personal.

 How they managed to get to the hospital unscathed was beyond anyone’s understanding, but as Steve sat in the waiting room with sweet Connie holding his hand, Javier was angry. It should’ve been him, he had told you not to go, but you just wouldn’t fucking listen. They didn’t even catch the guy, which maybe wasn’t the worst outcome, seeing how Javier would have absolutely murdered him with his bare hands.

“Javier just sit down, this isn’t helping anyone”, Connie spoke up, clearly having had enough of the man’s continuous pacing. “Why don’t you get yourself a coffee or something, you could be here another couple hours.”

She did have a point, you’d been in surgery for little over an hour and with every passing minute his need to just run off was getting more and more prominent. But he knew that the doctor could walk through those doors any minute as well, so he wanted to stay put, for you.

Upon seeing his partner’s lack of movement, Steve stood up. “How about I go get us those coffees then”, he offered.

Being alone with just Connie, a close friend of yours, made him feel even more nervous. Luckily for him the doors swung open before any kind of conversation could be started. Revealing the doctor that had rushed you away earlier. Your two friends went to stand, politely nodding at the doctor.

“The patient is stable, she suffered a broken collarbone which we managed to fix into place during surgery. She also sustained a concussion and a laceration to the back of the head which has been closed up. And uh she has some contusions among minor cuts over the body, nothing to be too worried about.” Javier and Connie sighed in relief. “But I need to speak to Steve Murphy, he was listed as Miss y/l/n’s emergency contact.”

“That’s my husband, he’s gone to get some coffee, should be back any second”, Connie replied, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “Can we go see her?”

“The patient’s waking up just now, so she’ll be out of it for a little bit.” With that he led them to your room, carefully opening the dim room, quickly adding that it had to do with the smack to the head you’d suffered.

Javier and Connie sat on either side of the bed, the doctor quickly leaving the room almost bumping into Steve on the way out. When he introduced himself the doctor whisked him away, presumably to have that confidential chat.

A quiet sob drew Javier’s attention back to the scene in front of him, nothing that Connie had started to cry, carefully holding your hand in hers. “Careful with that, we still need that back at the office, evidence”, he joked, eliciting a sad smile from his friend.

“Just look at her Javi, she must’ve been so scared.”

He looked at the IV’s in your left hand and the several bandages covering your body. “She’ll be alright Con, I promise.”

Steve re-entered the room with heavy steps, head hanging low and he looked at his wife. “Connie, a word, out in the hall”, he sighed.

She quickly wiped at her eyes and left the room, following her husband outside. He was alone with you now and felt incredibly out of place. You were the one to make situations less awkward and insufferable, you were the one to lighten the mood with some stupid joke or story about something back in the States. You, you, you – anything and everything was you, it was like his fucking world revolved around it- her. The poor man wasn’t able to deal with the near loss of you and his feelings, so he did what seemed best to him, pressing a quick kiss to your head and booking it, leaving you alone.

The simple touch had its desired effect, eyes fluttering open just as he walked over the threshold of your room, disappearing into the Columbian night. As you blinked a couple of times, vision somewhat blurry, all you could feel was pain, intense pain from your shoulder. Just as you tried to sit up a bit more the Murphys walked in, Connie quickly rushing over to your side and forcing you to lay back.

“Hey, y/n, hey, you’re in the hospital”, she explained slowly, gesturing at the several wires and monitors.

“Ja-Javier?”, you croaked out, throat completely dry and scratchy.

Steve poured you a glass of water while speaking: “He must’ve left. Listen, I know you’re probably exhausted and all but we need to have a chat.”

Nothing could have prepared you for the absolute bomb Steve was about to drop on you, those three little words changed everything. You – are – pregnant. Normally people would be nothing short of euphoric hearing such a confession, but to you – a woman with no partner and a job in one of the most dangerous places to be – it was a death penalty.

You had stayed in the hospital five more days, fellow agents coming to pay their respects, but you were just in a state of utter shock and frankly denial. You had argued with doctors and nurses, demanding they’d take your blood again and do it right. But no matter how much you protested and wanted it to not be true, you were in fact pregnant.

Five whole days of friends and colleagues supporting and loving you, even a call from your fucking parents at some point, but no Javier. Connie and Steve hadn’t pried for information, prioritizing your recovery for now, but you knew fully well your old friend had his suspicions. They hadn’t told anyone else, and as of yet it was just you, them two and the medical staff that was aware, already way too many people for your liking.

On the fifth day nobody visited, as per your request, you’d be moving in with Connie and Steve for the next couple of weeks, your concussion-induced vertigo and left arm requiring almost constant assistance, or as you saw it: babysitting. So, you’d told everyone to fuck off until it was time to go to hopefully get some time to yourself, time that you could spend in your own head. As you sat up on the hospital bed, half dressed, incapable of putting a shirt over your head, you broke down. It wasn’t necessarily the shirt that made you this upset it was just everything; the accident, the fact that you were pregnant and most of all him. He hadn’t even made an effort to visit you, to check up on you.

Or so you thought. You see, while you were out in that bed, life at the office just continued where it left off, Peña and Murphy still sitting at their desks and going out in the field. Only now they only ever talked about three things; new leads, that new bar downtown and you. Well to be completely honest, Steve didn’t really ever mention you but Javi.. he couldn’t shut up about you, bugging his poor co-worker on the daily, trying to get at least some information out of him. Steve had gotten so fed up one late night that he’d tossed the case files at the other man’s head, telling him to go to that damned hospital instead. After that he stopped asking and was left to brood and mull in his bed, kitchen, shower, basically anytime he was alone. Surely you wouldn’t want him there, considering what terms you were on, but would it be so bad for him to just swing by, talk to you for half an hour or so, see how you were doing with his own eyes? He deemed it best to leave you alone and not give you more of a headache. But by Saturday afternoon, the day you were supposed to be emitted, he couldn’t help himself. He got in his car and just drove there, hastily parking his car as he ran up to your room, stopping at the door as he heard your muffled weeping.

The soft knock interrupted your heartfelt moment, you saw his reflection in the windows, unable to turn your head around. “Can I come in?”, he asked with a small voice.

“Y-yeah”, you answered, trying to cover yourself with your good arm.

He wordlessly walked over to you, quickly gathering the shirt from the floor and stepping closer. “Guide me.” Javier tenderly helped you into your shirt, following your every instruction and checking if he was doing okay every time you winced. When you were dressed he sat next to you on the bed, holding the hairbrush you’d handed him just seconds before. “I-I’ve never done someone else’s hair, are you sure you want to look even more of a mess?”, he joked.

You quietly chuckled, fidgeting with the hair tie in your hand. “Can’t get much worse anyways, just be careful with the ends.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence as he brushed through your untamed hair, profusely apologizing every time the brush would get tangled, making the both of you laugh a little. It was a small win, just a sweet and innocent moment with the most dangerous man around, at least to you. He struggled to comb it all back, clearly not used to performing even the easiest of hairstyles. Eventually your hair did end up in something akin to a ponytail, at least he tried. After he zipped up your bag for you and checked the room for anything left behind you tried to slip on your shoes, a pair of tennis shoes to be exact, ones you frequented due to the nature of your job. Chasing narco-men wasn’t exactly ideal when wearing heels, so yes, you lived in flats. He soon got on his knees in front of you, helping you in your shoes and tying the laces for you, not able to watch you struggle any longer. The two of you didn’t talk other than the occasional “does this hurt” and “what now”. He offered to drive you home, but you explained Steve would be picking you up in a bit, informing him that you’d be staying over at their place, but a floor away from his own door.

“I should probably go then – unless you need anything else”, he said, hands in his pockets.

You went to stand, losing your balance a bit and steadying yourself by holding on to the frame of your bed. “Actually, if you don’t mind, can you help me to the entrance, I’d rather wait there.”

With his arm wrapped around your waist, by means of support, totally nothing else, he helped you get downstairs, to the entrance. He’d insisted you stayed inside, telling you about the dangers of being alone. You’d rolled your eyes, reminding him you had worked here just as long as he had, making him jut his hip. It’s then that Steve pulled up out front, quickly walking over to the two of you.

“What the hell is he doing here?”, Steve asked you, eyeing his partner up and down.

“He was just visiting and now he is leaving, see you Monday, Murphy”, Javier scoffed as he patter the man on the back, walking off without another word.

As Murphy helped you in his car he quirked an eyebrow at your messy hair; “Peña do that to you?” You nodded. “What’s that all about?”

“Survivor’s guilt”, you chuckled.

Taglist: @peterhollandkait @pedritomando​ 

#javier peña #javier pena #narcos #pedro pascal #imagine #javier peña x reader #illicit limerence

[autisticbisexualemaskye]

💖😋❓ ALL hera wolf 359 >:)

OMG i didnt even see this till now ok

💖- Happy headcanon: a headcanon taht makes me hapy is that she is autistic :) and alsoooo i think um i think her and eris could be friends even

😋- Funny/stupid headcanon: she has every copypasta ever in that jokerish little brain of hers and she can quote them at will :)

❓- Anything else you want!: ummmm kinda mad that herapler never gets explored in canon or in fanon. bc like. i think heras relationship to the si-5 is soo like. interesting when compared to the rest of the crew and they never really have her interact with anyone except maxwell. obviously her and jacobi dont get along post desperate times/desperate measures and tbfh i dont think they would get along before that even because jacobi is sort of like. okay if i elaborate this will becoe a post abt jacobi but i think like. hera is a character who is very very used to being othered. even among the ppl she considers friends. and with maxwell and kepler at least they treat her like. a person, you know? (even jacobi but. again were not getting into him here) and i think thats very. refreshing to her. but like. add that on top of the fact that theyre supposed to be her enemies-- because shes on the side of the hephaestus crew, obviously, but is she really? or did everyone just kind of assume that because she was their friend she was on their side and shared their goals without putting any real thought into her wants or emotions. and this sort of comes up later when she tells them she doesnt want to go back to earth, but i think those emotions had been building up for a while esp with the unresolved tension from their earlier treatment of her. and i think where maxwell works really well as a foil to eiffl wrt to hera, kepler works REALLY well as a foil to minkowskis treatment of her. because at the beginning of the series, minkowski doesnt... respect her crew. she doesnt trust them to do their jobs (re: sound and the fury) and kepler is pretty much... the opposite of that. like he doesnt *trust* the hephaestus crew exactly but to some extent he trusts their competence and ability to do their jobs until proven otherwise. and in a lot of respects that pretty much what hera was looking for i think. but on the other hand minkowski is a very genuine person and leader i think, whereas kepler has no issue manipulating people and like. obviously the things he orders maxwell to do to her in dt/dm are like. very egregious violations of her autonomy and like. yeah minkwoksi is kind of inconsiderate sometimes but she would never do anything like that. and oh god sorry this is getting sooo long but tldr; i just think that like. the juxtaposition of heras relationship with the hephaestus crew as people who care about her deeply as a friend but still have trouble respecting her as . a person and an ai and her relationships with the si-5 who respect her as a person but turn out to absolutely have no problem hurting and manipulating her for the sake of their jobs is like. interesting actually we should talk abt it more. and maybe this analysis is super off base but liek. thats why i wanna talk about it !!!!!!! someone come argue with me abt this please

#when i say herapler i mean it platonically #soemone the keplera thoughts pobably came fro my wolf359cord these r not my original brain movements all of them i think

[realityhelixcreates]

Dance of the Spheres Chapter 4: Venusian Vogue

Chapters: 4/?

Fandom:  Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: PG 13

Warnings: drugging, kidnapping, forced marriage

Characters: Loki(Marvel),

Additional Tags:  Loki Goes Overboard, But When Doesn’t Loki go Overboard, Mature Reader, Disabled Reader, Political Intrigue

Summary:  

Images of broken light Which dance before me like a million eyes They call me on and on across the universe.                   Across the Universe-The Beatles

“I am Loki.”

“I asked for a bride.”

The declarations smashed into you like fists and took your breath with them.

There was a ring on your finger. Silvery, plain, simple. Why hadn't you noticed it before?

This was clearly Loki. Sunken eyes, and onyx hair, and refined bones. Exactly like the pictures. Why hadn't you noticed?

Too many things all at once. Too much. A fearful whine escaped your teeth, as you tugged on the ring. It didn't budge.

“You're supposed to be dead.” You whispered.

His face fell the instant you spoke.

“You know. I sometimes think that myself. Yet somehow I remain. Take it as a reassurance: you will not lose me to battle, or accident. I will never leave you. I suppose that is something that new brides must worry about, especially human ones. You may put that fear to rest.”

“That's not what I'm-” You clamped your mouth shut. You were in a bad position, worse than you'd ever been, maybe. You were completely alone here; you could contact no one for help. You weren't even sure where exactly 'here' was-no one knew where Asgard was located.

You were trapped in a room with a madman. A prince among his own people, who had proven himself capable of the mass murder of humans like you. Yet claiming you were his bride.

No one would come to your aid.

Did anyone even know you were missing?

You glanced at the ring once more. Its twin rested proudly on his own left hand. What choice did you have?

You had to play along. At least until you found some way out of this. Stay on the madman's good side, as much as that was possible.

“Why me?” You asked, fighting down your panic. Just gather information for now. “I'm literally nobody.”

“I don't understand either.” He sat down on the bed, just a little closer to you than arms length. “This was supposed to be a chance at reconciliation. I willingly gave myself up in a symbolic act of unity. Sacrificed my own freedom.”

You side-eyed him hard. Gave up his freedom? In what capacity? He wasn't the one kidnapped and married without any knowledge or choice!

“This isn't an uncommon arrangement.” He continued. “Your species has done this since time immemorial. From kings all the way down to commoners, uniting families, uniting fortunes, uniting entire lands. Surely your...leader...understood what was to be gained. Yes, I did a terrible thing to your people, but this should have forged a new alliance. A promise that not only would I not do such a thing again, but that my formidable prowess would be for your people, rather than against them. Was this not enough? This should have opened the way for trade, for treaties...And you! Why do such a thing to you? One of his own people?”

“Oh, I'm not his.” You said. “I voted against him. I march in protests against his shitty policies. I oppose him in any way I can. I'd say 'maybe that's why', but it really can't be. I'm nowhere near important or influential enough for the government to pay any attention to me. They're too busy trying to kill me through austerity. Or through the cops.”

Loki's face darkened. “I should find that officer and flay him. Make you a bodice of his skin.”

He'd been reaching for your shoulder, but you flinched away.

“Okay see? That right there? That's why people might not want to ally with you.” You pointed out.

“He shouldn't have hurt you.”

“That's true. That doesn't mean you can use my pain as an excuse to rampage on Earth!”

“I shan't!” He protested. “Never again, I promise you that.”

But how good was the promise of government? Politician or hereditary ruler, it was all the same. How good was the word of a murderer? How many promises had he already broken?

“How do you feel?” He asked. “You seem...lively. Whatever you were drugged with, is it having a lasting effect?”

“I'm a little disoriented, but I'm awake.” You said. “The food and water helped.”

“Yes. About that. Ah. Would you like to see your rooms? I've been anticipating your arrival-well, someone's arrival-for some months now, and I've had chambers created that befit your new station.”

The big unknown outside. Beyond this room was nothing but uncertainty. But you would be the first human being to see this new Asgard. You told yourself it was a perk.

“Um...” You mumbled. “My clothes...” You weren't going out there in a flimsy hospital gown, that was for sure.

“Being cleaned and mended.” Loki informed you. “I have a simple gown that I believe should fit you. Here.” Wit a sweeping gesture, he produced a voluminous, forest green garment out of seemingly nowhere.

You scooted away. “How did you do that?” You demanded.

“Magic, of course.” He said. “You...don't know about the magic...?”

You shook your head and took the robe from him. It felt real enough, smooth and soft, with fur trim and pin tucks. This was simple?

“What do you know about me, my dear?” He asked.

“Not much. Just what...turn around!” Sheepishly, he turned his back so you could change. “Just what was on the news. And the approximately three million conspiracy websites that popped up afterwards. You might be shocked by how many people think you were an inside job.”

“A what?”

“That's not even counting all the cults. You and Thor really got the radicalization machine cranking them out. White supremacists, nationalists, doomsday cults...thanks a lot. Not as if we didn't have enough problems cleaning up the mess you left behind.”

“That...was not my intention. Were you...?”

“I was not part of any cults. I was also not part of the celebration of your death, either.”

The news broadcast had interrupted every television, lit up every phone. A tired and battle-worn Thor, looking not one inch the hero the world knew him to be, as he towered over the reporter. He gave only a short statement: His brother Loki was dead, perished in honorable battle, in an effort to protect the galaxy from an ancient enemy.

People had trusted him. They'd seen the destruction that enemy had caused, in their quest to destroy everything. The odd teleportation anomalies in England that had dominated youtube for a long time. The leaves in your bathroom, the foreign plants in the park. Exotic, even alien creatures being spotted.

People threw parties at the news of Loki's demise. You'd gone out, gotten yourself exactly one drink, and then stayed home for the weekend. It didn't seem right, not after seeing Thor so hollowed out. You didn't really get on with celebrating the death of your enemies anyway, only the success of your causes.

“Oh. Well. Thank you.”

“But yeah, all I really know is that you attacked us out of the blue, and brought an army with you. You caused billions in damages and cost hundreds of lives. Thousands more lost everything. The economic blow is still with us, and led to some of the problems I've been marching against. And then you died. Except not, obviously. Was Thor lying to us?”

“No. He truly believed me dead. I did too, until I woke up. So you know nothing of me. I feared that might be the case. I am no warlord, not truly. I am the foremost sorcerer of Asgard. My magic has many applications, one of which is that I am rarely found without what I need.”

“So magic is real?” Why not? Aliens were real. Gods were apparently real.

“Yes, very. When times were...better, I used to tutor younger students. I might go back to doing that, once we are more established. Once we are safe.”

Safe? From what? Was whatever it was that had destroyed Asgard still out there? Thor had said otherwise, before the radio silence, but he had also thought that Loki was dead, and he was wrong about that, so...

“May I look now, dear?”

“Oh...yeah. I'm dressed.” The gown did fit, though mostly because it was a shapeless, oversized thing that was closed around you with ties. Still, it was luxurious, and made you feel like you were actually pretty-as long as no one looked at you too closely. Was this what a princess wore? You shouldn't allow yourself to get too used to it. As soon as you found a way out, you were out.

“Delightful. Even such a simple gown enhances your beauty. Will you come with me, dear? Let me show you our grand achievements.”

You didn't really want to be exposed to the people of Asgard, but this room was no safer than anywhere else right now. Loki hovered, and you stood, and managed a few wobbly steps before you overbalanced. He caught you instantly.

“Don't worry.” He murmured. “I'm here.”

As if that wasn't the problem in the first place.

“So, while you were carrying me off...I mean, when you, uh, received me, did you notice a cane lying around?” You asked. “I had one. Did the guys who brought me give it to you?”

“I'm afraid not.” He said apologetically. “They seemed strangely eager to quit the area.”

“Yeah, well. They had just committed a felony.” You griped. “They probably had orders to disappear. And they probably didn't want to hang around and witness what a warlord was gonna do to me.”

He winced. “I promise you, that's not what I really am.”

“Sorry.”

He held out his arm for you. “I don't have your cane, but I can support you. We will have another cane made for you. There should have been an Artificer and an apprentice Healer in here at some point, to measure you for a new prosthetic.”

“Uh, there were. I, uh, kinda told them to piss off.”

“Ah. I suppose I cannot blame you, now that I know of your situation. But they are here at your service, as is all of Asgard.”

He helped you limp along, somehow maintaining his dignified stride, even as you wobbled along like a penguin. The hallways were as bland and labyrinthine as a human hospital, if somewhat more softly lit. Again the light source was obscured behind thin panes of cloudy crystal, which diffused the light, giving everything a comforting, if slightly mysterious atmosphere, which the general emptiness of the area only enhanced.

There were few people here, but for some reason, you had been placed in a room far within the hospital complex. Maybe they wanted to hide you away, so that no one knew you were here until they were ready to introduce you to Asgard. Or until they were certain you were going to survive. It might cause a scandal if the prince's bride just up and died upon arrival.

Or perhaps it was to protect you. There were plenty of reasons why a human bride might not be accepted by the Asgardian populace; everything from nationalism, to someone wanting to make a bid for that crown themselves.

There were still no windows to be seen, and everything was made of stone, just like in the hospital room. Out here, in the halls and waiting rooms, the desks, chairs, and tables all seemed to be joined to the walls and floor, as if the whole place had been carved from a single, solid piece, like the rock-cut architecture of the fabled city of Petra. Here again were the creamy grays and oranges lining the walls, though a smooth black also made an appearance.

Eventually, you came to what must have been a foyer, with a high ceiling, complex stone mosaics, and huge, gorgeously carved double doors, but still no windows.

“We will be going outside now.” Loki said. “This facility is within the palace complex, and is not far from your special chambers, but we will have to cross a few halls and courtyards. There are plenty of places to sit, so if you need a rest, simply say so.”

He opened the doors for you, and you stepped out into a world of stone.

Everything was stone, stone or metal. Before you was a wide open courtyard, clearly unfinished, but spacious. At regular intervals were stone towers supporting open pillared hallways in a multiple storied, vaguely Roman courtyard style. The towers shot up, and up, and up...you climbed them with your gaze, following them to the heights to which they had to buttress each other with thin struts of stone, higher still, where they joined with an impossibly high ceiling.

There was a roof over the courtyard, so tall that your couldn't fathom how it had been built. Beyond the courtyards stacked walkways-six full stories-you could see the tips of other towers, lined with lights, merging with this high rise ceiling. Was the entire palace built under this massive shelter?

Clearly the sun did not reach into the palace. To offset this, the crystal-paned, inset lights were everywhere, creating complex patterns that mimicked the intricate knotted carvings that chased up the towers and pillars. The corbels glared down at you, fierce masks of bearded men, wolves, dragons and birds, lights in their eyes.

Combined, it was not as bright as sunlight, but not dim either. The softness of the glow made shadows diffuse, made the stone look soft and fake, and even shimmery in places, like the set pieces in eighties fantasy movies. If not for the pain in your bruises, you'd have thought the dreamy atmosphere was just that, and that you were about to wake up from this absurd dream any moment now.

But the pain was there, and denied that simple, hopeful wish. And Loki was there, gently urging you forward like he was a real gentleman, instead of a heinous war criminal. There were a few other people out here as well; walking the courtyards pillared halls, resting on stone benches, carving hollows into the ground.

There was no soil here. All stone. As you crossed the courtyard, you noticed black, and gray, and cloudy crystal inlaid into the ground in a shape reminiscent of a compass rose, decorated with silvery wire knotwork in bird and serpent shapes.

There were troughs and niches being carved into the ground that looked to you like they were meant to be flower beds...eventually. You had seen no dirt here yet, no grass or growing things at all. Maybe once you finally got outside. But for now, it felt as if you had left a building, only to exit into another building, that was in turn, within another building.

It was a bit suffocating.

Loki led you across several courtyards, each with a different pattern inlaid into their bare floor, and through vaulted hallways that still contained no windows. Many of these hallways intersected in large, circular domes, and few of them had any distinctive markings. Soon you were completely lost. With any luck, you would be able to get your hands on some paper, and create a map-otherwise, any escape attempts would be doomed from the word go.

But maybe that was the point.

Your staggering steps echoed down a particularly tall and wide hallway, almost completely devoid of people. You were almost at the end of your physical capabilities, and while there were places to sit, you felt like you must be close to your destination. You really wanted to be in a room whose dimensions you could be certain of. A space you could comprehend.

Loki brought you to a stop in front of a pair of carved wooden doors. As the first piece of architecture you had seen here that was something other than stone, you found them more beautiful than anything you'd seen all day. They were something almost normal, almost like something you would have at home. If you were insanely rich, or your dad was a carpenter or something. They were a warm terra-cotta color, carved with a dizzying array of knotwork, framed with blackened, riveted iron. The handles were iron serpents.

“We imported some things from your homeland. This redwood lumber is one such thing. From what I hear, these trees are emblematic of your country.”

“Er...” How to politely say, 'not really, even though most people who live there do know what a redwood is'. They weren't very important to anyone who didn't live near where they grew. They weren't what you would call 'quintessentially American'. There wasn't anything you could really call that. The place was just too damn big.

“We couldn't bring too much, not yet anyway.” He continued. “It is expensive, unfortunately, and we only have one ship. It can only carry so much, and it takes about three days to transport. Things are moving slowly, but our construction projects are moving along speedily. There's little else to do right now, save build.”

He opened the doors for you, and led you into a fairy tale.

#danceofthespheres #loki (marvel) #loki x reader

[lotornomiko]

The Broken Hearted Comfort Chapter Eight (Not safe for work)

I'll say not safe for work just in case...but it's more about Belle's thoughts and feelings....so its like heavy on the dub con angst of what almost could have happened...actually finished reworking it over two hours ago, but then I slacked off hardcore on doing any proofreading...^^''

Her heart already so battered and abused, pulsed inside her now with an ever so erratic beat, that wild tempo producing a sound that was so furious that it felt like it actually HURT. It even seem to echo within her ears, and made for a harsh throbbing in her breast, Belle digging fingers into her chest over its place, in an unconscious display meant to contain that frightened part inside her. It still left her wide eyed and shaking regardless, the woman gathering her knees close to her body in an effort to huddle in close on herself. She made herself small, as small as the pirate had reduced her to actually feeling, the beauty struggling to breathe. That deep exhale of sound, was shaky at best, a great shudder working its way through her, the urge to outright start sobbing in hysterics upon her.

Even though she swallowed back such a sound, Belle still looked the part, her blurry eyed misery unable to truly emphasize the deepest depths of the pain and the fright that she struggled with still. The trauma, its scar running deep, a lasting wound having been inflicted that would see her bleed that hurt all over, the woman outright shaking from its effect. From it, and from him, the man—the pirate who was the cause of one potent half of her suffering. That broken heart the least of her problems now, Hook had put a real fear in her, the dread and regret that the young lady had started out with, magnified to new levels of extreme, the threat of him, of that which he still wanted from her, so pressing and real a danger, Belle menaced by Hook from the very second that he had swaggered into her cell in the queen’s prison tower.

It hadn’t gotten better from there, the man taking far too many liberties, stealing kisses and more, those inappropriate touches a herald of the dark promise that had been in his eyes. That lust that was so unrelenting a beast, the pirate taking every opportunity to let Belle know just how much he has wanted her. That body of hers that with which he wanted to make his plunder, the princess objectified by the expectations of his misguided desire. He had made her into this wild fantasy, some twisted dream like figure that had weighed her down with that need of his pressuring her to perform.

She hadn’t, she COULDN’T, Belle unable and unwilling to let herself be remade into this man’s lustful idea of a fantasy. Her desire dead, she was as far removed from the embodiment of sin and seduction as one could be, that teary eyed misery blurring her vision, the woman pale faced and sniffling, her beautiful blue eyes rimmed red from her crying. Even at her most pain stricken, Belle remained wary, watching the pirate while weeping. She also couldn’t stop glaring, conscious of his everything, from each breath that he took, to the visible emotion that played out on his face. He was frustrated, but also one part ravenous, his storm dark gaze still holding that desire, that hunger for her. He couldn’t stop staring at her in turn, and there was a fine tremor that worked its way through his otherwise still body, an indecision playing out in the thoughts in his head. He was all predator, like a great big jungle cat, a panther, ready to pounce at the slightest of provocation or weakness. She tried not to give him either one of those things, but there was no stopping her tears.

Exhausted by them, by him, and by this situation, she had been riding on her fright and that of her anger for too long. For the more than a day’s travel by horseback, Belle had been left on edge during the entire escape, set there on that precipice by the pirate, when he had burst into the room that had served as as her cage. What could have been a savior, had revealed itself with the true colors of a villain, Belle’s shock at his arrival, at seeing him again, lost to the anger that had ignited when the pirate had accosted her the very first chance that he had gotten. Tumbled down onto the cot of her prison, her outrage hadn’t yet given into a full blooming of fear. But when it had hit, it had hit hard, the fright something that began like a snowball hurling down a mountain, picking up size the longer that it went, until it had literally snowballed out of control.

Now they both reaped the rewards of a fear that had had time to build out of their ability to control, Hook stymied by Belle’s tears. By her inability to stop her crying, the miserable state that she had been reduced to, maybe the only thing capable of getting him to consider stopping at all. She was aware of it too, the effect her terrified state was having, every tear delaying what had become inevitable, that victory a bitter one though, born of the moment when the last remaining bit of her hope had been snuffed out. She couldn’t even muster a true anger in this instance, Belle a self loathing creature that was hating the fact that she been reduced to crying. To becoming this blubbering mess that had her feeling so weak knee and helpless. Made absolutely miserable by this, she was also embarrassed, having been brought low to such a humiliation, all powerless save for that of her tears and the effect that they had thus far had.

She wasn’t normally one to give another the satisfaction of her tears, especially a man like the pirate. But with her hope and her spirit broken, with nothing left to truly lose, Belle herself had shattered, breaking apart in his embrace. Pieces of her now scattered, the young woman had yet to attempt to gather them back, instead lost to the moment, and others like it, the beauty knowing that she would never forget, never be able to even try, every second spent with Hook, leaving its very brand upon her. Bodily and on her soul, and most searing was her mind, the memory of how he had frozen in shock with the realization of her tears. That confused look in his eyes, the grimace twisting his lips, the man both concerned and bothered by her response, all this and more were details that replayed in her head, Belle not just remembering it, but repeatedly reliving it. FEELING it, that clean masculine scent of him thick in the air, the sensual touch of his firm lips, and an even harsher rasp of his beard hairs upon her skin. The hand made calloused from years of handling weapons, caressing her body, lower and lower, until it had finally lodged itself between her thighs. Nothing had been able to prepare her for that, to protect her, least of all the thin fabric of her panties, his scalding heat communicated to her, it and that touch such an intrusive and unwanted thing. The fingers moving over her had made her go cold, a bone deep shiver felt a second before her entire body had gone tense. She had been freezing up, unable to relax, unable to give in, Belle beyond all hope in that moment, defeated and frightened, and trying her hardest not to cry.

Even that choice was taken from her, Belle bursting into tears. She’d never understand it, never understand HIM, the woman confused by that inexplicable reaction, the pirate having stopped at the sight of her distressed state. She didn’t know why, and Belle didn’t dare think it meant that Hook saw her as anything other than an outlet for his desires, and that of his own lofty and merciless ambitions. She was a pawn and his plaything, her body just one part of what Hook had been after from the start of this nightmare. Acting entitled to it, to HER, Hook not only making it clear what he had been after of her, but acting as if it was his God given right to get it.

He had even been so far gone as to think she’d be grateful, as though expecting her to have gladly thrown herself into his arms. As though she would happily prostitute herself for a rescue that she hadn’t even ask for, a rescue that was selfishly motivated by his own greed and nature. She was still telling herself that this was all part of a grander scheme, the pirate intent on bankrupting her kingdom. It was too inconceivable to imagine otherwise, too unsettling, too CRAZY a thing to risk his life and his crew on just for the slim chance of simply fucking her again.

So she clung to her own delusions, angry though they made her, Belle in denial as to the depth of Hook’s obsession, and the lengths it had already driven him to. She refused it, and she refused him, the beauty having no desire in her to even pretend to be grateful. She couldn’t ,not even to spare herself a world of hurt at his hand, for with that rejection and distaste made abundantly clear, the pirate had then tried to take what he had wanted from her by force.

That had to have been, without question, one of the scariest moments ever in that of her young life. And that was saying something, considering hers, had been a life that had seen its fair share of terrors, everything from the towering ogres that had had plagued and terrorized her kingdom, to the Dark One’s frightening tantrums and that furious rage, to even that of Regina, the Evil Queen a mad menace who would have ultimately KILLED the princess, once her lack of value made itself truly known. Yet for all that, the loss of control that Hook had made her feel, her choices that he had taken from her, and that of the feelings he had so cruelly discarded, had proven a million times worse than anything---anyone that had come before him.

Worse than the Queen at her most murderous, the ogres at their most brutal, and that of Rumplestiltskin’s own brand of devastating cruelty, Hook was at first seemingly far too predictable a man until he was not, Belle wondering if he wasn’t a tad touched in the head. Maybe more than just a little, the man surely insane! That or a fool, pitting himself to be an enemy of the Evil Queen, for a pay off that wouldn’t amount to all that much. Did he not know that her kingdom was a poor one, ruined and ransacked as it had been by those monsters? Or that they had little in the way of resources, and even less in gold, Avonlea simply too poor to pay the kind of ransom amount that would be worth all the trouble that they had been plunged into? There was no real profit to be made, off of Belle or off of her kingdom, Hook and his crew woefully misguided on the value that they had placed on her. For even if her father were willing to try and pay such a ransom, it would bankrupt the entire kingdom, and it would still not be enough. Avonlea then left beyond ruined, Belle and her father, the King, hated.

She couldn’t bear it. Not their hate, and not their pity, Belle no more willing to be the tool with which led to Avonlea’s downfall at Hook’s hands, than she had been at Rumplestitlskin’s. She was desperate to avoid it, to see her people saved, yet Belle had nothing in which to bargain for. Nothing with which to make another deal, that and the inability to make this pirate understand that there was no value in her, this ransom plan nowhere near worth the trouble it had already caused him and his crew. Belle was in fact an existence who had deemed herself without value, so useless a person that she already knew that just like the Evil Queen would have one day soon realized her folly, the pirates would too. They wouldn’t be able to get rid of Belle fast enough, Hook giving her the boot just like the Dark One had.

The tears that were ever present in her eyes, began to burn hotter, Rumplestiltskin’s face twisted in that awful moment of his rage, called to mind. He had been so close to throttling her with his bare hands, and had even gone so far as to bodily throw her past his castle’s front gate. He had been beyond furious, so livid and so creatively cruel, each word spoken meant to crush the woman, and bring her love to break apart . To do more than just break but to wither and die a painful and slow death, Belle cursed to know that it had been all a one sided love. That of a foolish infatuation, the young woman utterly gutted to the core to know that it had all been in her head, no real love or feeling in him There had been nothing, nothing between them for there to be anything past that of a beauty and a beast, that master and slave relationship, Belle part of a deal, a payment that had outlived its usefulness to him. Thoroughly crushed by his heavy handed spite, his words and those realizations had left only heart break behind. That part of her had split in half with a bitterness that Belle might never get over.

All of her feelings of worthlessness, had been born of that rejection. From that malevolent outrage, her innocent love spat upon. She would never be able to understand why he would value his power more than her, but the damage had been done regardless, the power of her love, her feelings severed so entirely, that there was no way that her kiss would hold true love effect on him. On him or on anyone else, Belle’s life having spiraled so entirely into chaos, prison after prison changing again and again, Rumplestiltskin, the Evil Queen, and now the pirate, each one tormenting her in their own way. Each a brand of trouble that seemed worst than the last, Belle tortured and feeling like it would never, ever truly end without her ending up dead. Caught in one power struggle after another, and torturing herself over her own perceived lack of worth, Belle wasn’t in any way thinking clearly. She hadn’t been for a long time now, and maintaining that heightened state of panic at the pirate’s hand hadn’t helped. It had led to a bone weary exhaustion, Belle not just tired physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. If not for her present fear, that of the pirate’s continued menace and what she expected him to still do, Belle would have literally dropped, collapsing into a dead faint after all she had been through.

Her soul itself tired, her emotions running the wild gamut of the spectrum, Belle didn’t even have it left in her to start screaming. At best she could only just manage a gasp, the pirate having drawn near once more. She’d flinch, her body outright recoiling from the look in his eyes, the blue of them made even stormier with his displeasure. Yet for all that tumultuous feeling that was in his expression, his hand was gentle as Hook went and cupped her cheek. His fingers felt along the wet skin there, his thumb tracing the rough path of her tears. That smoldering heat in him had simmered to a cooler degree, his expression turning inwardly harsh and unforgiving.

"Bloody hell." He then spat out loud, and abruptly the pirate was gone. The bed groaned in relief as the pirate's weight left it, Belle in a state of complete shock even after Hook had stormed out of the room. For the longest stretch of time, that stunned state of disbelief would steal even her ability to think, Belle unable to process what had just happened. She might have even fainted for a time, Belle numb to even that level of self awareness.

She wouldn't even know how much time had actually passed, before Belle abruptly launched herself off of the pirate's bed. Her actions automatic, Belle scrubbing at her face, and pulling at that too short tunic that had passed for the Evil Queens idea of prison garb. It kept riding up on her thighs, despite her fingers best attempt to control it, flashing far too much of her bottom with every little bit of movement. That would not do, Belle snatching a sheet off the bed, wrapping it thoroughly around her body, so that she was covered from neck to toe.

It wasn't much, but the sheet did go a long way towards making Belle feel marginally better. She felt shielded, as ridiculous a thought as that actually was, because Belle also knew the sheet wouldn't make one bit of difference in protecting her from the pirate's lust. But she liked the lie of it, the sense of control that it gave her, the sheet so warm and different from the skimpy clothing the Evil Queen had forced on Belle these past few weeks.

She shivered then, the prickling unease having nothing to do with the room’s temperature and everything to do with what had happened to her. The heart break and the tortures, the imprisonments, and the loss of any real choice. Anything and everything, and Belle didn't even know how much time she had lost! It felt like it had been an entire year that she had spent inside that tower, with no windows or way to know just how much time had truly passed. It had been an agony all its own, that small eternity of not knowing, and it wasn't just time that she had lost, but the simpler luxuries of freedom. Fresh air to breathe, the sun’s warnth to feel, and the beauty of the sky to see, and even that of the voices to hear. Belle closed her eyes for several seconds, breathing, living, just taking in the whole experience.

She’d inhale deep of the fresh air, its scent so wonderful and flavored with the salt of the sea. That same sea made the weather here cold, a chill permeating even inside the cabin. Belle shivered and delighted in even this, because it had always been a hot, stifling air that had cycled through her tower prison. A stale air, so recycled and suffocating, Belle opening her eyes and gravitating towards the cabin's round window and the source of her pleasure. She made no move to open it, just staring with a sense of awe and wonder at the sight before her, that of the sea that stretched on for miles ahead of her and that of the sun that was working even now to gentle the worst of the weather’s coldest wind, its bright brilliance lighting up a canvas that was made of both the open sky and the waters below it.

It was also more colors than Belle had been privileged to see in a long, long time, her tower prison having been a room of drab grays. The sky that she saw now was all manner of blue, with even faint lavender and that of the purest of white Belle had ever seen in a cloud. The sea below it wasn't a true blue, instead a sea green mix that sparkled with foam made white from the sun. Those waters rose in small waves that crested against the wooden hull of the ship, that sound a gentle, persistent slap that was a magic melody all its own. A gull's voice cawed from up high, Belle unable to see the sea bird from the window's vantage. She also couldn't see those responsible for the many other sounds that she was hearing, the people who shouted and laughed in a good natured manner, barking out orders, and working the ship to move.

It was a more joyful sound than she had been exposed to in God only knows how long, and it was wonderful. For the moment it didn't matter that these people were pirates, that they would hurt rather than help her. Belle reveled in the sound of their chatter, pretending she was elsewhere, somewhere safe and with friends.

She couldn't maintain the illusion forever, Belle turning away from the window with a put upon sigh. It still came out shaky, even though the worst of her tears had long since dried. Her fears still remained, Belle giving a positively venomous glare to the bed. And a just as uncharitable a thought to the man who that bed belonged to. But she didn't really want to think about Hook, not when remembering set her off trembling, the memory of the heat of his kisses and what he had tried to do, a sour note in her head that left her heart hurting badly.

Worse yet was those awful assumptions, that damn gratitude that Hook had expected of her. Belle felt a mix of anger and disbelief, scoffing at the thought that she would ever willingly do THAT with him again. Even if he hadn't hurt her that first time, even if he hadn't been so cruel and single minded in his own lust’s pursuit of its satisfaction. Even if he had made the sex as wonderful as the kissing had been, Belle wouldn't have laid with him a second time. Not when she told herself that he had only rescued her for his own sinister ambitions, intending to ransom her off and bankrupt her kingdom in the process. That was an insult she could not--would not take lightly, Belle as always ready and willing to protect her people from whatever threat that they might face. Be they the ogres or that of these pirates!

Cultivating a self righteous anger on her people’s behalf, Belle used the pain of it to fuel something other than her self pity and tears. It brought her no step closer to knowing how to stop Hook, but it also kept her from giving over to the hysterics. For this furious temper was effective when it came to what passed for her coping mechanism, the helplessness that Belle felt, a rage that had been steadily built on and perfected while in the Evil Queen’s merciless care. If it had a physical form and force to it, such an anger would have toppled even mountains.

With that anger moving her, it and her resentments and the many disappointments, Belle began to truly explore the inside of the cabin. It was a lot larger than the cell she had spent so much time in, this new cage that of an overly spacious room that befitted the captain of a ship as big and magnificent as the Jolly Roger had looked to be. It was also extravagant in design, Hook a man of expensive tastes when it came to his furniture and possessions. Fine mahogany wood, brand new leather bound books, rugs woven of the softest materials. Gold and silver coins spilled out in a careless fashion across a wide desk. Quills made of the feathers of the most exotic of birds, and the fresh ink to dip them in. Brightly colored jewels, rubies the size of her fist, diamonds bigger than she had known was possible. And all of it spoke of how ruthless a thief the pirate could be.

Convinced he didn't give a damn about anything but his own wealth and adding to it, Belle felt the fire of her anger build at the thought of Hook bankrupting her kingdom to keep on funding his expensive tastes and lifestyle. She was almost too angry to focus, Belle walking around, rifling through some of his things with the intent to find yet another weapon of some kind. It would still be absolutely useless in her hands, Belle unable to bring herself to actually kill anyone, but the illusion of protection it would give her would go a long way towards comforting the young woman greatly.

She then found herself kneeling before one of several other chests, Belle discovering that the lid opened up easily enough. There was only more gold and jewels inside it, so she moved on to the next one. It looked familiar for some reason, Belle prying the wood open, and reaching to pull aside the fabric that lay there in neatly folded piles. The woman didn't at first understand what it was that she was seeing, Belle ignoring the clothing, to dig deeper into the chest. The beauty stopped up short when she came across a familiar book, Belle certain that it was just a coincidence that the pirate had a copy of her favorite bedtime story. That certainty began to slip, when she noticed the book was as a worn as that of her own, its cover sewn back into place by a familiar and thick black thread. Its worn state didn't fit in with the new and well cared for books that she had seen among the rest of Hook’s things, Belle opening the book, and caressing shaking fingertips over the inscription inside.

It was addressed to Belle, with the loving words written by a mother long since dead and buried. That had her leaping galvanized into action, Belle actually looking at the clothing that she had set aside. Her hands shook harder with the realization that they were hers, all the pretty dresses and petticoats that she had forced herself to buy after Rumplestiltskin had tossed her out of his life. She didn't understand why the dresses were here, even the torn blue one, and Belle could admit that she wasn't sure she wanted to actually know. She began pawing frantically through the chest and the ones next to it. Finding more of her books and belongings, from her hairbrush and ribbons, to the perfumes and oils that she had favored. Everything was there, not a thing missing from the inn, the pirate having taken exacting care to collect each and every one of her belongings.

It was yet another inkling that gave Belle the hint that maybe something more was going on. That maybe the pirate had intended more than just to bankrupt her kingdom. But her mind wouldn't let her settle on what that other intention could be, Belle refusing to so much as consider that Hook had gone through so much trouble and risk just to have her again. It was simply a level of creepy she didn't want to dwell on, Belle disturbed enough by Hook and his lusts when it seemed just a matter of chance proximity.

She began repacking the chests, though she kept one of the dresses out. With the sheet still wrapped around her, Belle went to the door. To her surprise it wasn't locked, but then the bitter understanding filled her. Hook hadn't left the door unlocked because he trusted her, but because there was simply nowhere for her to go. She was on a ship full of blood thirsty, sex hungry pirates, and that alone would keep her in place, effectively trapped for the time being.

With a scowl that couldn't hide the hopeless and frustrated look in her eyes, Belle retreated to the cabin's private bathroom. This door was one that she made sure to lock, then quickly dropped the sheet. With a speed that impressed even her, Belle quickly got into and laced up the ribbons of a white and pale lavender dress. The skirts had a spring to them, the petticoat's ruffles filling them out nicely. It had a modest cut for a bodice, but even that little flesh on display seemed like too much. Belle quickly pulled the bed sheet back around her, covering up fully before she would leave the bathroom. She left the tunic from the tower on the floor, Belle never wanting to see that dark blue garment again. It wasn't the only thing that she never wanted to see again, Belle remembering the sinister blue of the pirate's eyes. She shivered and clutched harder at the sheet, remembering the heat, the raw desire, the hungry, predatory look that had focused unwavering on her. It was a look that she never wanted to be subjected to again, and yet it was a look that Belle knew she would have to endure time and time again, the pirate too fixated on lusting after her. With that focused intensity that desired to do more than just look, Belle not knowing if her tears would work a second time to damper the worst of his ardor. It was a bridge she knew that she would have to cross and soon, Belle fearing Hook and what he would do to her in the time that it took them to finally reach her kingdom. For now though, there was nothing she could truly do but take a seat by the window and wait. And hope that her unsettled, hurting heart didn't burst from the fright.

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To Be Continued....

8/31/2021 Updated, seems a lot of the first half of these chapters tend to be what gets written. So big chunks there, with some minor tweaking in the latter half.

----Michelle

#once upon a time #ouat #fanfic #fanfiction #killian x belle #belle #captain hook #KillianJones #captain beauty #Captainbeauty #The Broken Hearted Comfort #Dubious consent themes #smut #romance #season 2 cannon divergence

[snakeboistan]

WHUMPTOBER DAY SIX: PLEASE

“Get it Out” I No More I “Stop Please”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911249/chapters/66190579

Pairing: Karmagisa

The rattling of raindrops pelting onto the dilapidated roof and broken down windows reverberated through the abandoned warehouse, mingling with the cacophony of moans emitted by the harsh gusts of wind. The air felt cold and chilly, but Karma was undeterred. Unlike the rest of his classmates who joined him on this rescue mission, he wasn’t taken aback by the appearance of the storehouse, with it’s rusted metal walls, crumbling floor and pieces of broken metal, glass and cardboard scattered around the floor, just waiting to cause harm. No, he had something far more important in mind to worry about the high pitched squeaking of rats and the dark splodges on the walls and ceilings of this ramshackle building that looked and smelled suspiciously like dried blood.

No, he had a goal in mind. A goal that was 159 cm tall and had the most beautiful blue eyes imaginable. A goal that he couldn’t bear to live without and had been missing from his side - where his rightful place was - for the past few hours. You see, earlier that afternoon, Shiota Nagisa - his boyfriend, his better half, his everything - wasn’t answering his texts, which, to anyone else, isn’t the biggest red flag but to Karma, it sent alarm bells ringing. Nagisa always answered his texts, always, unless of course he’s in the bathroom or his mum…

Well, anyway, that wasn’t the case because his mother had left a day ago for a business trip and wasn’t returning until a few days later but who cares when he still hadn’t replied to Karma after an hour, 50 texts, 20 calls and 10 voicemails later. So now Karma was jittery. He prided himself on being cool and calm in times of distress, in being able to think clearly and logically to come up with a plan - it was one of the things that Nagisa admired about him - but now, there he was, pounding furiously onto the wooden surface of Nagisa’s apartment door, not giving a damn about how loud he was being. His heart was racing and why wasn’t Nagisa answering dammit! His phone chimed and he looked down, hoping and praying that it was a text from the blunette with some sort of explanation or apology for scaring him. But all he saw was:

Unknown: Come to the E-Class building. It seems like a little blue haired boy has gotten a bit lost.

The rest of his classmates were in a frenzy when he had arrived; voices were raised, tears were shed, morbid conspiracy theories were flung around like they were pleasantries. But he had no use for them, he had no use for anything that didn’t give him an explanation. He stormed in through his classroom’s doors like a hurricane, ready to tear down anything and everything that stood in the way between him and Nagisa. His bloodlust was strong, palpable and whilst it wasn’t as overpowering as Nagisa’s, it was close and it stopped everyone in their tracks. He was wild, uncontrollable and was just about to punch something before Isogai’s grim figure handed him a piece of paper with coordinates on it, as well as a warning to not inform any of their teachers of this otherwise fate won’t be in their favour - a threat that seemed much more horrifying when written the few strands of baby blue that were taped onto the the sheet. 

Perfect. He’ll show this sucker just who they were messing with and make them pay. With their blood.

…..

“Holy shit,” Maehara breathed, circling the walls in front of them with his flashlight, “this place is like a labyrinth.”

Isogai surveyed the many passages in front of them, his role as the class’ leader driving him to say, “We should split up.”

“Split up!?” Okajima whisper-yelled, his hands on his head, that was shaking wildly, “Are you crazy?! That’s exactly what happens in horror movies before people die!”

“What choice do we have?” the class representative argued, “there are too many options for us all to go at once and since this building is so off the grid not even Ritsu can give us blueprints. If we want to find Nagisa, splitting up is our best bet.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Kimura gulped as he heard a high pitched wail followed by the clamour of lightning and thunder, that for a split-second cast an eerie light onto the desolate building that they were in, “doesn’t make it less scary.”

“Well you guys can go on ahead,” Karma said as he walked towards one of the corridors, “I’m going by myself.”

“Karma-” Kayano started, only to be interrupted.

“Nagisa’s been kidnapped,” Karma’s voice was terse, “the last thing I need is you idiots slowing me down.”

“Hey,” Sugino said, eyebrows furrowed, “I get that you guys are dating but Nagisa is my best friend too. All of us are worried for him so it’s best if we work together to-”

“I mean it,” Karma snapped, pointing his knife threateningly at the crowd of his classmates, “I’m going by myself and if any of you stop me…”

Everyone shivered, and it wasn’t because of the biting cold.

“Just keep your comm-link on,” Isogai instructed, “so that we can all give each other updates.”

Karma nodded briskly and turned on his heel

……. 

Karma continued walking, his government-given sneakers squelching on the puddles of murky water caused by the dripping leaks from the roof. He knew he was getting closer to the petite blunette, he could feel it. That magnetic force that always pulled him towards the shorter boy was what strung him along, acting as his own personal compass. However, despite his confidence in his path, when he found himself standing at the entrance of another empty room, he groaned and cursed to himself. But then, he felt it - that sense of danger that he can almost always detect. Hackles raised, he entered, not even flinching when the door slammed shut behind him. Ahh, so he’s getting close. If there’s one thing that he’s learned from playing video games is that when he’s getting near to the enemies he’s going the right way (“You can’t just say that every time you pick a fight, Karma,” Nagisa had said dryly). 

“Well, well, well,” a menacing voice boomed out from the shadows, “what do we have here. Has the little boy come back to Daddy?”

Karma’s eyes widened. 

That voice.

The sound of a switching flicking was what he heard before the single, dimly lit overhead lightbulb fizzed to life, flickering hazy yellow onto the murky grey walls and floor and revealing the owner of the other person in the room and his suspicions were proven correct. That burly build, flattened dark hair and deranged countenance.

“YOU!” Karma yelled, taking a threatening step forward.

Takaoka laughed, “Oh hello there, what seems to bring you here. Did you miss Daddy?”

“Where’s Nagisa,” he snarled, doing his best to push down the desire of stabbing this guy in the chest. He couldn’t kill him - no matter how good this bastard would look with the light in his eyes dimmed, with his own hands covered in the blood of the monster that took away the only good and pure thing he had in his lonely and cold life - after all, as much as he’d hate to admit it, Takaoka was the only one who knew where Nagisa was. Then, once he had his little blueberry in his arms, he’d make the man beg for mercy that he’d never give.

“Who?” Takaoka asked, his head tilted and voice lilted with faux innocence.

“You know who,” Karma’s temper was at optimum level and he couldn’t get rid of the red seeping around the edges of his vision if he tried.

“Oh you mean that little blue brat that defied me? He’s fine. More than fine actually.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

Karma glared, face dark with rage, “If you hurt a single hair on his head-”

Takaoka laughed, eyes wild and manic, “Don’t worry you’re little head about him. Why would I hurt him when he’s so useful to me?”

Useful?

“What the f*ck are you on about?!” Karma yelled, “WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!” 

“Patience, child,” the man cooed condescendingly, “you’ll find out soon enough. Oh the expression on your face is adorable. I can’t wait to see what you and your friends will look like when you all die.”

“You’re going to kill me?”

“No,” Takaoka smirked, “he is.”

Before he could blink, he felt his back slam hard against the wall, sending a sharp burst of pain up his spine. Thin fingers were wrapped around his throat, trapping him in place. He opened his eyes to get a look at his attacker only to feel an anvil drop in his stomach.

Lightning struck, illuminating Nagisa’s hard face, making it look stern, jagged and sharp around the edges, nothing like the sweet little angel that would smile and blush at the slightest hint of praise, nothing like the warm comforting gaze that would be directed to him as they walk together hand in hand. His eyes were glowing electric blue, tinted with uncharacteristically unnatural green near the circumference of his pupils.

“Na-Nagisa…” Karma breathed out, both in shock and due to the struggle he currently had in breathing.

“What,” Takaoka grinned as Nagisa tightened his grip, “was this not the reunion you were expecting? And to think he was so disobedient before. All it took was a few drops of a serum and now he’ll never go against me again.”

“What-what did you do to him?” Karma whispered, fear like no other swirling in his gut.

Takaoka’s face darkened, the facade of abnormal happiness washing off of him. He growled out, “your class took everything from me: my job, my titles, my reputation. Everything I loved, everything I worked for. You broke it, destroyed it with your own hands. So I decided to return the favour. You see Daddy knows what’s best for his children. And if destroying things is what you brats want then that’s what you’ll do. Starting with the one who thought it would be a good idea to go against me to begin with. Of course, I can’t kill you all by myself so I needed to get some help and this little rascal was the perfect guinea pig. You see why would I want to break you down myself when I can get one of your own to do it for me. Well, I’m going now. I hope you kids play nice.”

And with that Takaoka left, leaving the two of them alone in the abandoned room.

“Nagisa,” Karma choked out despite the fingers - the same fingers that would cup his cheek with all of the gentleness in the world - at his throat, “Nagisa, it’s me. Can’t you see me?”

‘He can’t hear you,’ Takaoka’s voice crooned in the back of his head.

He was losing oxygen so he had to act. Fast. With a grunt, he karate chopped the curve of Nagisa’s elbow, making the shorter boy loosen his grip so he used all the strength he could muster to push him away. However, all of his strength didn’t seem to be enough because Nagisa just pushed him back with full force, the impact of his head against the wall making black spots blossom in his vision. For a few seconds, the two of them were just shoving each other and Karma never felt so tired in his life. He always had the upper hand in a fight - even if he was against men double, triple his size. Months of street fights and self-taught weapon-handling would make it impossible for him to get so worn out so soon. If he were against anyone else, they’d already be knocked out.

But his opponent was Nagisa. Nagisa! Nagisa, who would always put others before himself, who would never deny someone a consoling ear or gentle hug, who reached out to a problem demon child like him with a smile despite the darkness he carried and offered him a life of warm smiles and gentle touches that he definitely did not deserve, who he loved with every fibre of his being - and who was currently glaring at him with hatred that he didn’t even know the other possessed. He can’t fight him. He can’t.

“Nagisa, please,” Karma begged, not caring that his voice was starting to crack, “snap out of it.”

Nagisa growled, the noise deep and feral and nothing at all like the pacifist he knew, as he gave Karma another hard shove. Karma retaliated by wrapping an arm around Nagisa’s neck, sending a knee in between Nagisa’s legs and pushing himself up so that he can wrap his legs around the other’s neck in a choke-hold, twisting his body so that the two of them were sent sprawling to the floor. Karma quickly got up but was then hindered by a sting of pain bursting along his calf. Gritting his teeth he looked down to see blood seeping out of a large cut on his lower leg before quickly dodging Nagisa’s knife-wielding (where the hell did he get a knife from?!) fist. Nagisa surged forward again but Karma let his instincts take over, using his arm to block his attack.

“Nagisa, come on, this isn’t you.”

The knife grazed his face, gashing a line of scarlet against his cheek.

“You’re not violent.”

He sent a punch to Nagisa’s face. It made the cracks in his heart grow.

“You’re not aggressive.”

He held onto either side of Nagisa’s face, trying to look past those tinges of unnatural green so that he could dig deep into the other’s unconscious, searching for any hints of the boy he swore he would spend the rest of his life with. Eyes. ‘The windows to the soul’, Nagisa called them. Well, it seemed like someone decided to close the blinds because the blank look he got back showed nothing.

But still, “I love you, Nagisa. I love you. Stop this, please. I don’t want to fight you, Nagi.”

Nagisa’s reply to his cries was a sharp thrust of his head, colliding his crown with Karma’s nose, sending him staggering backwards. Before he could even gather his bearings, the blunette jumped and kicked him with a spin, firing him to the floor yet again. His face burned, both from the grazes and from the stinging of his still tearing eyes. God, he felt useless. He’s the highest ranker in combat - why the hell was he still fighting a battle he could’ve won ages ago.

Wait a minute. Why was he still fighting?

Nagisa wasn’t a fighter. It’s no secret that he wasn’t the best at close combat (the amount of times he would find himself as the loser during sparring practice was more than enough evidence). His skill in assassination was suprise attacks. To come out of nowhere and then disappear into thin air like he was never there to begin with. If Nagisa was really trying to kill him, he would’ve just used his knife to slit his throat or stab him in the chest or something within the first few seconds. The fact that he chose to draw it out instead of using that speed that even managed to let him get the drop on Karasuma-Sensei - that meant that -

He was holding back. He was fighting it.

Karma felt like crying again. Even when he was under mind control, even when he was reduced into nothing but a killing machine, a soldier with no conscious thought and only had murder on his mind - he still didn’t want to kill Karma. 

God, he really f**king loved his little blueberry. And he sure as hell isn’t going to lose him to some stupid brainwashing serum. He knew what he had to do.

Karma dashed forward and…

He felt Nagisa freeze when he wrapped the other in a warm embrace. In the corner of his eye he could see the shorter teen’s hand clenching on the knife but that didn’t stop him from burying his face into the other’s shoulder. He murmured, ignoring Nagisa squirming in an attempt to get out of his hold, “Please come back to me, I’m begging you. I love you Nagisa and I know you love me too. You’re stronger than this, I know you are - you’re one of the strongest people I know. I might be the one that gets higher grades but you, you’re the one that always knows what to do when it comes to people, who knows exactly what to say and how to say it. I can’t do this Nagisa please, I can’t.”

Nagisa had somehow managed to free an arm, raising it so that he had the point of his knife aimed at Karma’s back. Karma closed his eyes, waiting for the blow to strike only-

He heard the clattering of something metal hitting the floor. He felt small hands press tenderly against his bruised back. He pulled back to look down at an adorably confused face (still so beautiful despite the scrapes and bruises littering here and there), sky blue eyes looking at him with bewilderment.

“Karma? What’s going on?”

#assassination classroom #my writing

[blaster-aichi]

Cardfight!! Vanguard Extra Story IF 20 things

changing up the formula for the week

12 seconds in and we’re threatening murder, a new record.

What did we do to deserve Miwa and what did he do to deserve the treatment he gets from the writers?

When there are only bits and pieces of his original memories coming through, having the most nightmarish moment be one of them, one could only imagine how unsettling it is for one poor ultra-soft boy. And if it might cause him to sympathize with Aichi’s belief in brief moments, from undeniable proof that engaging in Vanguard has hurt a number of people around them.

Weekly yearning for the relationship between Outside World and IF World to get an explanation rises.

IF continuing with the softest Kai-kun faces, cause of death determined. That is all.

The fact that Morikawa’s dismissal serves towards the plot is startling, but at the same time, in-universe, it’s still baffling why he was chosen as opposed to anyone else. Perhaps because of his role in Aichi’s actively playing the game? But otherwise, drawing a blank.

There is a lot to say about the Kourin/Miwa scene, see below.

Semi-sortof-half-right about the Miwa/Takuto collusion but also see below.

Weekly yearning for the relationship between Outside World and IF World to get an explanation intensifies.

The Dinner Table Scene. Rena.exe has stopped working. See below, I flip the table.

This is the most adorable thing ever and boys, PLEASE.

Miwa picks up the mantle of roasting characters, the KaiMiwa is strong.

Pot. Kettle. Mirror. Bitch?

The choice to have Dragonic Overlord’s Deletion visually mirror its occurrence during the cardfight-based season is a strong choice; due to its haunting Kai-kun since it penetrated the IF illusion, and his facing Ibuki without letting any distress showing, in spit of what he’s seen, it demonstrates just the strength of his character and builds on his being able to take the punches and roll with them thus far.

Everyday, I relate to Kai Toshiki even more.

Very much appreciate Emi chiming in where Ibuki is concerned because though the emphasis is on his relationships with Kai-kun, Miwa and Suiko, their time understanding one another in episode 7 remains a personal favourite thing from the season.

Suiko’s intervention to protect Emi and Shuka; yes, yes, yes! Best big sister doing her thing.

Along the same line of thought; Miwa taking the bullet to save Kai-kun feels a natural conclusion to his role within IF, but also playing upon how he stressed Kai-kun’s happiness was his priority in his cardfight with Neve. His strongest trait through the franchise has been his dedication to his best friend, no matter the cost to himself, and seeing that occur in the literal sense feels as though it was always a case of when, not if. Although with the likely remaining time left in the season and its focus, there won’t be a spotlight shone on it again or for Kai-kun to really convey his feelings about it, it was nice to see and think about through the day after.

Episode 102: the KaiMiwa edition.

All Hail the Overlords and their Realizing.

Kai-kun takes back his other part-time job of literally roasting people with Miwa gone.

Though it’s likely down to how he was recruited into the Sanctuary Knights (and his past being repaired erasing the entire ordeal from his perspective), Ibuki’s lost memories of joining them begs the question of the fate of everyone’s memories once the timeline is fully restored, given it hasn’t been made clear if there are two different versions of characters that exist or their Outside World selves pulled inside and overwritten to fit IF’s continuity. Cases such as Emi, Aichi and Kourin in particular, seeing as Naoki, Shingo and Miwa have thus far retained their memories of IF despite returning Outside.

Not entirely sure why Kourin is so aggravated by the Sanctuary Knights’ numbers thinning when Naoki, Shingo and Miwa felt much more like nuisances to her and it means she’s alone on Aichi’s side. But okay, play cosmic fuckery with your sisters.

IF 21 preview

Rekka sighted. Hopes raised for her re-entering the story properly raised. Hopes realized when the preview caps from Bushi’s Twitter confirm as much

The season that continues its joke of memeing anime deaths.

With the perspective of Kourin’s weekly nightmarish face and the typical use of the angle, eager to see the girls getting the upper-hand over her, as it dawned on me that Naoki and Shingo had weekly stints being the main antagonistic force but Kourin, in essence, is on four and counting. And with the jarring fact that Aichi’s just sitting back, possibly oblivious, possibly not?

The unidentified Sanctuary Knight in the preview had gotten hopes up that Misaki was finally entering the fray but the aforementioned tweet popped that like a Genshin Impact Anemo slime. Rude.

the four breakdowns (for comical effect, it was one Wild call)

Takuto: From what’s been shown of Takuto, one could summise that he’s unable to leave Sanctuary by some force Aichi (or Kourin, with or without using Aichi to do it) has imposed on him, but considering his position, his personality doesn’t quite fit. With the gravity of the situation, particularly when he had pinpointed Aichi as the strongest Psyqualia fighter and (Destiny Conductor) personally input extra restraints to keep him under control, with him being the enemy, it's puzzling how Takuto is so lax. Even more in that he didn’t use Miwa as a means of passing on any message to the other Tatsunagis. While he couldn’t be expected to know Ren and Rekka were dispatched specifically to find him, one would imagine it was natural there would be someone coming and he may have been able to offer anything from within Sanctuary and its populous. But apparently not.

Kourin: To be honest, the way in which Kourin is being handled rubs me the wrong way, and in a different way from Legion Mate (if anything, its the very opposite problem to then in some regards). It appears to be a sentiment spreading among viewers, at least from what have been able to discern. But in regards to this episode alone, she’s proven herself atrocious at her job. Why wander around a public school in her Sanctuary Knight uniform? Why alert Miwa to her being outside the door? Why divulge essentially her entire job description when all he said was her name? Why are you hovering in a public school? Also has no room to talk about Suiko and Ibuki with how she is around Aichi, let alone around the other Sanctuary Knights and playing bodyguard between the two. It feels with each week she becoming even more territorial and possessive of Aichi.

The Dinner Table Scene: This was initially what really stood out as jarring. The scene feels out of place in many regards; from Aichi’s behaviour to its serving no purpose (not when Takuto’s very last line right before it already established they’re two peas in a pod).                  If anything, it strikes as antithetical to IF Aichi until this point; it’s possible to excuse his lack of reacting to Naoki’s removal from the scene in 18 as being kept in the dark to keep him from struggling to process the news, but with the time that’s passed and losing two others, there’s no way in hell he isn’t aware. Yet he isn’t fazed, not even when Vanguard has essentially ripped away people from him and played right into his beliefs.                 The choice of setting is peculiar; was it just for the gag of Ibuki having a biscuit for a meal? (does Kourin get groceries in her uniform too?) To be truthful, it feels like the two could have met elsewhere in the castle — the throne room, Aichi’s quarters, a corridor where the city could be seen through a window with Ibuki’s back to it (or it behind Aichi so Ibuki could watchthe view past him) — whether Kourin was involved or not, but additionally, Aichi’s acceptance of Ibuki (and in spite of their past and the Deletion, which hazard a guess he remembers in full) simply doesn’t feel coherent. With how vicious they were to one another, even with the dust settling and them both moving on plus Ibuki’s role in IF thus far, wouldn’t it make sense that there would be some tension between them? The scene as a whole encapsulated some of the concerns that had at points during the season, though it’s redeemed itself with some. But where Aichi is concerned, I worry greatly it’s much like Legion Mate where it feels they don’t know what to do with him and are putting off him making a move personally until the end, drawing out Kourin and the new element of fuckery with characters’ pasts.                    Don’t want to get down on this season, it’s got its highs and lows like any other, but the episode in particular was concerning and this scene was the pinnacle of those feelings. It could sweep those worries aside with a great episode (for like the fourth time because it keeps coming back strong when alarm bells ring).

The Pacing: Courtney initially mentioned the episode feeling rushed and when sitting down and thinking it over, have to say that agree. Assuming IF is running a tight schedule with OverDress around the corner, it probably wouldn’t have had the time, but it may have benefitted from the episode being drawn across two. It would have allowed time for Kai-kun and Suiko to try and grapple with Ibuki turning coat, as well as draw out the tension of his being on the enemy’s side, the rapid resolution takes away the threat that has been made to Suiko in her own predicament, and Miwa could have been allowed more time to fully flesh out his actions thus far, as well as anything else that his meeting with Takuto could have provided. Though we’re all well familiar with him, there could have been more glmpses into the unique friendship he has with IF Kai-kun and how it might have contrasted their Outside World’s selves’.

Probably debunked super-fast again but will dream:

Misaki’s absence due to her being Aichi’s Sanctuary Knight secret weapon:

Stemmed from the glimpse of the Sanctuary Knight in the preview and the hype that it might have been Misaki’s re-introduction to the story, given her disappearance since epi 8, even when Kamui returned and Shin filled in her gimmick at Card Capital in epi 16. With the emphasis on Miyaji in Reboot, her lack of presence has been particularly strange, with not so much as a passing mention other than her appearance in the ED. Judging by Kourin and Aichi alone appearing in the preview, it feels safe to say she, Naoki and Shingo won’t be a part of the illusion being forced upon Suiko, prolonging this. Maybe Izumi is simply busy with other work and reading too much into it, but dreamt up a theory for the heck of it.

Whether to recruit the Miyaji Cardfight Club as a whole or in response to identifying Kourin’s apparent independent agenda, Aichi brought Misaki aboard, keeping her a secret from even Kourin and the other Sanctuary Knights. With Kourin overstepping her boundaries and their numbers withering, Aichi’s patience runs out and Misaki is revealed, usurping Kourin’s place by Aichi’s side and delivering a devastating blow to her, who has been fiercely loyal to him but recognizes how far gone he has been driven. Misaki’s appearance is coupled with her verbally tearing into Kourin and dealing her comeuppance (which honestly, she really deserves and has for some time now), Aichi may or may not be there so that the sight of himself and Misaki continuing on without her twists the knife.

It would also echo the interactions between the Psyqualia Zombie Aichi and Misaki, with Kourin watching on helplessly with Naoki and Shingo. Just thought it’d be a neat call-back.

#Cardfight!! Vanguard #Cardfight!! Vanguard IF #cfv spoilers #long post

[enchanted-prose]

#10 Renegade Niece

i’m treating myself because I liked writing this and I wrote an impossibly long essay :,)

Word count: 5,294

Characters: Roden, Jaron, Ayvar (Original character), Jamie Todd (Original character), Merry (Original character), Nila

Notes: Edited and my goodness I just loved writing this. Also I forgot to put in lines for the last two submissions and I’m so sorry. There is one important vibe that I’m going to discuss; consider how it feels when your pet begins chewing something they’re no supposed to, and when you tell them to stop, they start chewing faster leaving you no choice but to run at them.

Sleep wasn’t something that Roden excelled at. He fell asleep whenever and wherever he did.

And it just so happened that this time, he’d fallen asleep with his head on his desk.

“Rise and shine!” Bellowed an all too familiar voice, successfully bringing a wave of sound into the once silent office.

Startled, Roden lurched backwards, his chair tipping dangerously backwards until it hit the floor, taking him with it. He shut his eyes. “Good morning Jaron.”

“There’s business to discuss, we can’t have you sleeping.”

“I know, Jaron, I know. Give me a moment, I already have a list of things I need to do.”

Although Jaron was standing at the opposite end of the room, Roden could sense his smug grin. Jaron cleared his throat. “I only wake you this early because I have to ask a favor.”

“And that is?” Roden asked, sincerely hoping it had nothing to do with waxing the hair off of his legs. Jaron had proposed that once, and every member of the king’s circle learned the importance of keeping Jaron occupied with trivial matters in addition to his political duties.

Late morning light glowed all around the room. Roden blinked several times as his head began to plant itself in the waking world. Jaron was dressed in his usual plain clothing, lucky him.

Roden wanted to scrub his teeth clean.

He hated it when he slept in his office.

“I, ah, told Mott to take it easy today because of the events from two nights ago. He has a few reports that need to be looked over and signed.”

“How many reports are there?”

It didn’t actually matter, Roden had every intention of doing them anyways

Jaron scoffed, “I don’t know the answer to that.”

“And when do they need to be finished?”

“Tonight, if possible.”

Roden groaned, and dragged himself to his feet, pulling a piece of paper from his forehead. “Alright, consider them done. But I won’t be able to spar today, Jaron, I have too many things to do.”

“It’s not a problem,” Jaron scratched the back of his head. He looked tired. “Feall is convinced that we have a vital playing piece in our custody, the girl who was captured the night he was attacked.”

The details from that night were still fresh in Roden’s mind.

He went over them as often as he could, always trying to find connections. The girl who’d been taken into custody, a member of the Faola, was somebody Roden had met before. She’d been in the Vaults one night when Roden was on patrol, and allegedly she was assisting another member of her gang in saving a trio of children from a horrific fate.

She’d told him her name: Ayvar.

Ayvar with scarlet hair who bent the rules to help other people.

It was hard to believe that somebody who would brave the Vaults would be driven to cut the head off of another human being.

There was something not quite right about the situation.

“I can see smoke coming out of your ears, are you thinking?”

“Shut up, Jaron.”

“Definitely thinking. Be careful, it’s dangerous.”

“Thank you for your concern,” Roden pinched the bridge of his nose for a split second. “Have you received any information about Queen Danika’s representatives?”

Hesitation visibly weighed on Jaron’s every move. He finally nodded. “They’ve been combing through nearby towns, and will be here tomorrow. I suspect that they will want to interview the girl who attacked Feall.”

“I told Amarinda she was allowed to visit Ayvar if she wanted, I think she’d have more progress than a group of investigators.”

“Good move, is it wrong to say I’m curious about the results?”

“So long as nobody is hurt in the process, I think it’s fine to want to know how it all ends,” Roden gestured to the door. “I’m going to check on her if you’d like to come with me.”

“Amarinda? I don’t think she’d like to be-”

“Ayvar, I meant. I’d be responsible if something happened to her.”

Jaron stepped out of Roden’s office, and combed his hand through his unruly hair. “You think she’s innocent?”

“I try to believe everyone isn’t as bad as everyone says until it can be proven true,” Roden shrugged. He rubbed his eyes.

The dungeons in the castle were odd, particularly because they provided a decent amount of space in each cell. Roden had seen all too many dungeons crafted out of caves and tunnels only big enough for a child. The scent of moldy food was a smell Roden would never come to appreciate. Jaron laughed at him when he stepped away from the mangy guard dog.

There was no telling what would happen if the mongrel bit him.

Roden tried not to think about how he’d die, but he certainly didn’t want his cause of death to be because of a nasty, dirty mutt.

Ayvar had been placed in the last cell. She’d braided her flaming hair around her head, likely to keep it out of the dirt. When Roden and Jaron approached, she sat straight up, her hands cradling her knees to her chest.

“Everything been alright?” Roden asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I suppose,” Ayvar frowned. “I’d rather not be here.”

“I’d rather that you didn’t attack my friends.” Jaron’s biting tone caused her to flinch.

“You don’t really think I was stupid enough to do that, right?”

“I’ve seen plenty of people doing stupid things.”

Roden nodded in agreement. Just the other day, he’d watched Merry shove herself into a barrel and roll off of a bridge into the Roving River. He’d also seen Jaron almost get away with sledding down the grand staircase in the throne room. However, Mott had been there to save the day.

But that unfortunately didn’t stop Jaron from trying to do it again.

Ayvar scowled, “It. Wasn’t. Me.”

“But you were there,” Roden pointed out.

“I was there because I didn’t think the plan would go through!”

“So you knew there was a plan. Who thought of it, if it wasn’t you?”

“I-,” Ayvar jumped to her feet, fire blazing in her eyes. “It’s probably a false name. Goes by all sorts of nicknames, we started calling her Patches. But the arbitrator is a woman, like me.”

“I hate false names,” Jaron mused.

“Ironic,” Roden noted.

"You have to believe me when I say that I wasn't responsible," Ayvar's voice was rising. "I don't care what anyone else says, it wasn't my fault!"

Her voice echoed through the dungeon, and received a bark of disapproval from the guard hound.

Jaron inhaled, "If what you say is true, then we'll release you, I can promise you that."

"It is true and I'll prove it. If Harlowe won't listen to me, then I'll go to Feall. He and I fought our patched enemy together."

"I do recall you saying your patched enemy was actually your friend, at one point," Roden noted. He was still getting used to having a surname to claim.

"That's not true anymore, otherwise I  wouldn't have been left in here."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your pity."

"Then you won't get our company either," Jaron shot back as he walked away from Ayvar's cell.

Roden stared at Ayvar, but left before she could throw any words at him. She went back to sitting in the corner, and said nothing as footsteps rang through the quiet dungeon.

A courtier was waiting for them halfway down the steps, and promptly dragged Jaron away to attend a meeting with King Oberson. Roden seized his chance to return to his chambers and scrub his teeth and face.

He'd almost managed to shave when he heard the clatter of stones from the courtyard.

Through his window, Roden could see a group of pock marked boys, their sizes varying, but their intentions the same: Torment Ayvar by throwing insults and rocks into her cell.

Abandoning the razor, Roden left his chambers, tugged a doublet over his head, and prepared himself for shooing away a gaggle of bored brats.

Too much had happened during the past few weeks. The stone-throwing boys were added to Roden's long long list of things that annoyed him.

One of the boys stood out from the rest, Jamie Todd. He'd thrown the first stone. Roden recognized him. Jamie was among the boys who were desperately hoping to somehow gain a knighthood. Hoping to mean something more.

That wouldn't happen so long as he was throwing stones at a girl in a cell.

Was having a little bit of peace in the courtyard too much to ask?

A loud whoop erupted from the boys, one of the stones had probably found its mark. Jamie waved his arms above his head as he did an odd victory dance. They'd been clever enough to draft up a little song:

When Daftie Ayvie passed away,

Whadya think they done?

Chopped her up a fishin’ bait:

Copper for a ton!

Devils have the guards on patrol who let the stones be-

A newcomer had joined the group. A girl. A head shorter than half of the boys. Much shorter than Jamie Todd, who was almost the size of Mott.

Mangled hair, holes in her chemise's shoulders. Merry had come to pick a bone.

"Fe-fi-fo fum!" Merry jabbed her finger at Jamie. "I smell the stink of a big boy's bum!"

"Hey!" Jamie cried, all of his attention glued to Merry.

Roden should have seen it coming.

Merry jabbed her elbow into Jamie's stomach, and down, down, down he went. The other boys scrambled away as Merry grabbed Jamie by the ears.

"She's going to tear them clean off!"

"Get some help!"

"My ears! Don't! You'll rip them-!

"Can't help it! Your ears are wonderfully handy!" Merry taunted. "They're like mug handles!"

Roden dashed across the courtyard as Merry slammed Jamie's head into the ground, resulting in his howls echoing across the courtyard. She triumphantly demanded an apology for throwing stones at Ayvar, but none came.

"Somebody help me!" Jamie bellowed, moments before Merry cracked her head against his.

"See the lovely stars, Jamie!"

"She's kilt me!"

"You're going to wish you'd been kilt you mangy, slimy, son of a-!"

In Merry's hubris, she'd forgotten about pinning down Jamie's hands. He swung his fist into the side of her head. Although she wobbled, she didn't topple over.

"I see a bit of brains dribbling-!" Smack! "-out of your ear!"

"Get off of me! Help! She's kilt me!"

"Pity your mother didn't cook you longer," Merry snipped, prepping to bash Jamie's head into the cobblestones again.

Roden finally managed to wedge his arms between Merry and Jamie, while Lieutenant Alistair picked up Merry by the waist, and dragged her off of Jamie. Roden nodded his thanks as Merry cursed and kicked and Jaimie wept as he covered his ears. He was convinced that his brain was bleeding out from his nose.

"I'll take care of the kids," Roden noted, motioning to the large fountain in the middle of the courtyard.

"Yes sir!" Alistair boomed as he somehow managed to keep Merry from escaping to beat the other boys as well.

"Stand up," said Roden as he let go of Jaimie. He then instructed him to follow his finger as he moved it back and forth in front of Jamie's eyes.

He wasn't sure how rattled Jamie's  brains were.

"I'm kilt," he wailed. "I'm a member of the undead. I’ll never be a knight now!"

"Not quite, but I hope you've learned something."

"I learned that I hate girls!"

"You'll have a lonely life then, I suppose. Don't throw stones at people worse off than you Jamie, it's not what a knight would do."

Jamie wiped his nose, which had finally stopped bleeding. "I'm- I'm sorry we were- we were just bored."

"Don't apologize to me. You have my permission to be inspected by the castle physician. I'll have my lieutenant escort you."

If he hadn't just been smacked around, Roden was certain Jamie would've fallen to his knees with gratitude. Speaking to the captain of the guard and being around Sir Alistair Derforgall in one day? It was any aspiring soldier's dream.

Roden had been in those shoes once. Idolizing Carthya's heroes.

But you couldn't be a hero and throw stones at prisoners in cells.

Alistair had seated Merry on the edge of the fountain. She crossed her arms. “I’m too angry to give a genuine apology right now, but I do feel bad, so I’m sorry. Give me a few hours before I have to say it to Jamie. I don’t like giving empty apologies.”

“Weren’t you just telling me about being safe while throwing a punch?” Roden asked.

“That’s because I’d- gah, don’t remind me.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the Dragon’s Keep?”

“Ayvar is my friend, I came to check on her,” Merry shrugged. “Dawn gave me twenty minutes, but I’ve used up that time in, ah, not very smart ways. Did you forget to shave?”

Roden held completely still as Merry trailed both of her fingers across his stubbled face. “I was in a hurry.”

“I kind of like it.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I just like you, shaved or unshaved.”

“You’re a grisly sight. Best mop you up before you return,” he grinned. Roden then pointed to his left eyebrow, where a long, thin scar started just above his eyebrow and dipped down to the top of his cheekbone. “I’ve had a few head wounds myself.”

A smile tugged at Merry’s mouth, and she visibly tried to fight it with a frown. “I suppose we’ll match.”

“We’ll have to see.”

“There’s no point to life if I don’t have a scar that makes people wonder if I’m secretly a pirate.”

“Are you secretly a pirate?” Roden pulled a spare handkerchief from his doublet pocket, “I suppose it’s my turn to clean you up, would you prefer your own spit or fountain water?”

“I’d prefer your spit, actually.”

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say that.”

“Because it makes you uncomfortable?”

“Quite the contrary, I think there’s a better way to exchange spit than-,” Roden cleared his throat. “I take that back. It does make me uncomfortable.”

It seemed that Merry was uncomfortable too. Her face had gone redder than the blood dripping from the cut on her forehead. “I’ll take water. It’s, ah, really warm.”

She was right, the summer morning sun was beating down on the two of them. Roden cupped the unbloodied side of her face as gingerly as he could. He wet the cloth, knelt on the ground in front of her, and forced himself not to grin as he began wiping the blood off of her forehead.

The frown faltered.

“So,” Merry said.

It wasn’t exactly a question, it was more of an invitation. There was no obligation for Roden to say anything if he wanted to. He was allowed to speak about anything that he chose to do. He could talk about the situation with Ayvar. He could talk about how his niece, Nila, wanted to have a picnic for her tenth birthday and that he didn’t know what to get her. He could talk about how he’d begun to see his childhood friend’s death in his dreams.

How he feared that there was something hiding in plain sight.

Something awful.

She was giving him a choice.

And that made him want to tell her everything.

“I have extra reports I need to file tonight,” Roden said as he wet a new portion of his handkerchief. “But I’ve spent too much time in my office. Makes me lonely.”

“Don’t your friends pay attention to you?” Merry arched her unbloodied eyebrow.

He shrugged, “From time to time. They don’t tell me colorful stories about fish hitting my face.”

That made her smile.

“By the way, I never thanked you for the coin you gave me. Where’s it from? I don’t recognize the design.”

“It’s from my home, but it’s not accepted here. Figured I’d give you a trinket. Have you considered getting a pet mountain cat to keep you company?”

“Unfortunately, the royal mountain cat keeper is fresh out of them.”

Merry’s eyes drifted shut, and Roden did his best not to think of the way her body relaxed as he continued supporting her. “Why not come to the Dragon’s Keep? It’s the slowest day of the week, I can help you. I can even promise extra lemon cream tarts.”

“Would I have to share?”

“With me, of course.”

“Promises you’ll make sure it’s a fair share?”

Merry pressed a bruised hand to her heart, “I never lie, Captain Harlowe.”

He hoped she didn’t see his ears beginning to burn. Roden managed to clear away the drying blood on Merry’s face, and ordered the nearest page to get strips of gauze. “I, ah, I’m going to make sure the wound doesn’t bleed through. Is that alright?”

“I only ask that you make me look as much like a plague victim as possible,” Merry was fiddling with her hands.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

To his surprise, when Roden drew away from Merry’s face, she pressed his hand back into place. “No wait, I’m hoping I can siphon away your extreme battle abilities.”

“Not quite sure how true that is.”

“I told you before, I don’t lie.”

“Not quite sure how true that is either.”

Once again, her face flushed bright red. Merry shoved his hand away, “Thanks, ah, uh, thanks for helping me.”

“It’s only fair.” Roden scratched the back of his neck.The page returned with a small roll of gauze. Roden began setting strips of it on the horizontal gash on Merry’s forehead. “You should probably come up with a story about why you look like a plague victim.”

“I’m thinking that I had three eyes at one point, but I tragically lost my third eye while hunting for a golden potato.”

“Not quite what I was expecting, but I’ll take it. Is there more to it?”

“Do you like hearing me talk, Captain?”

“I’ve told you it’s alright to call me by my name,” Roden said, deftly avoiding her question.

She patted the side of his face, “Captain, my friend, at one point I had a third eye, and it helped me see into the ground. I could find all sorts of buried treasure, making me the most valued person in the Eranbole sea. . .”

Words of third eyes and buried treasure fell short on Roden’s ears. As Merry continued weaving her grand story about pirates and sea monsters, his gaze fell on a curious mark on her bare shoulder.

A jagged scar.

As he finished setting the last piece of gauze on Merry’s cut, he found himself brushing his thumb over the scar, wondering where it came from.

Scars carried stories, whether good or bad.

What had Merry done to get a scar on her shoulder? There were others near it, many of them were hiding underneath her printed chemise. Marks of the past. All pale and pink against her skin.

Merry went completely silent, and Roden flinched once he realized what he’d done.

Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.

Devils have him. Roden looked right at Merry’s crimson face, stared right at those mausoleum grey eyes.

Don’t be the first to look away, don’t be the first to look away-

Suddenly the cobblestones became very interesting.

“I, ah, I’m-,” she stuttered, both of her hands going to tug on her earlobes.

Roden all but jumped to his feet, “I have to go now.”

“I don’t think so, I’m not quite finished with our conversation.”

Roden rubbed the back of his neck, desperate to be away from his mistake.

But he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.

“Treat me like a princess, Roden, please,” Merry said, bouncing back from the awkward moment. She held out her hand, palm down, expectant.

A series of scars were visible on her third and fourth fingers, just below the nails. Roden forced himself not to look too long, and took Merry by the hand, “My apologies, lady.”

In a grand motion, Merry waved her hand across the open air, “No apologies are needed sir knight. You’ll find I am quite spotted all over, and not from freckles.”

“I’m really sorry if-,” He began, but Merry was one step ahead of him.

“No, no, don’t be sorry, it’s really alright. I got that scar as a child. My favorite method of travel was jumping rock to rock, and I missed my target once.”

“I’m sure all toads everywhere envied your skill.”

“Oh they did, trust me, they did. I’d ah, I’d tell you more . . But you’ll have to forgive me for leaving so soon, Dawn’s going to have my head if I’m late.”

He didn’t want to admit that he didn’t like watching her leave. 

----------------------------------------------

Nila sat on his desk, swinging her legs. Her long golden hair had been pinned on her head, and yet despite the obvious effort that had been put into it, several strands had managed to escape. Dirt stains pooled at her elbows.

She was doing a wondrous job holding a stack of papers for Roden.

“I found a cool feather today, but I dropped it in the river,” Nila mused, a slight frown appearing on her rosy face. “It had stripes.”

“A striped feather, you say?” Roden made a face.

“Black and white, I thought it would look cool as a mast for a stick ship, but I got so excited about it, I dropped it.”

“Then I’ll have to help you find another one.”

Nila tapped her boot heel against the desk, “I’m free on every second day of the week, but only in the afternoons. I can fit you into my schedule.”

“You have a schedule now, do you?” He caught himself chuckling. “I would gladly take any available time that I can.”

Everywhere, there were reports hiding. Roden managed to gather all of Mott’s reports, but unfortunately, had managed to lose track of half of his own. He pawed through every drawer he could, every shelf and cabinet.

If it weren’t for Nila keeping track of what had been found and what hadn’t, he would’ve wasted much more time.

How could he let himself get so disorganized?

Roden ran his hands through his hair, “I think that’s all we’re going to find.”

“I can take a turn looking,” Nila offered. She grinned, a pair of dimples making their appearance. “You’ve obviously got something else on your mind.”

“I don’t- I, ah, everything’s under control.”

Although everything didn’t really feel like it was under control. Roden once again ran his hands through his hair, thinking of anything he might’ve missed. Several hours had passed since he’d last seen Merry. It wouldn’t be long before sunset.

“Are you meeting somebody?” Asked Nila, her boot beating out a new rhythm. “Are you going on patrol again?”

“No, no,” Roden said, walking from his desk to the door. “I mean, yes, I’m going to be with a friend of mine. No patrolling for me though, that’s tomorrow night.”

“That’s interesting. Much more interesting than my evening, anyway.”

“I thought you had a busy schedule, sounds pretty exciting to me.”

“Being busy doesn’t mean I’m having fun. Where are you going?”

“Sounds like you’re planning on trying to come with me. . .”

Nila frowned as deeply as she could. “I’m just asking!”

As he paced back and forth, Roden smiled. He was walking to the beat of Nila’s boot hitting the desk. That drew a grin out of her once he mentioned it to her.

He loved being with Nila. She was charming and bursting with life, and made his day a little bit brighter. In time, he saw her as more of a little sister than a niece.

There were many things Roden would always regret.

Things like never knowing his dead brother; Nila’s father.

Too many opportunities had been lost, and Roden was determined not to lose any more precious moments. He’d been cheated out of years and years of memories.

It was time to make new ones.

But he wasn’t sure if taking a ten year old girl to a tavern was one of them.

“Please, please, please, please, please take me with you,” Nila begged. “I don’t want to have to take tea with Lady Orlaine’s whatever they are.”

“Lady Orlaine’s wards?” Roden offered.

“Yes! Them! They’re mean to me, dreadfully boring too. I call them the Greys. Because they make everything grey around them, get it?”

Roden took the numerous papers from Nila and shoved them into a satchel. He’d have to depend on Merry for ink, he didn’t trust himself not to spill any as he walked across Drylliad.

He wouldn’t be able to know if the Dragon’s Keep was truly empty until he got there, and he’d rather not risk taking Nila to a place not quite appropriate for a child.

She took the rejection well, however, Roden wished he’d been able to bring her with him.

The regret was even worse the moment Roden stepped into the Dragon's Keep, only to find that it was as empty as Merry claimed it was.

Aside from the old man strumming a lute in the corner, the only sound was a ghost of a conversation from the back.

Dawn was behind the counter, her grey streaked hair piled into a bun on top of her head.

Another barmaid was sitting in the corner beside a young man. No sign of Merry.

"Captain! It's nice to see you!" Dawn called, waving her cloth in greeting.

"It's nice to be here," Roden countered with a smile.

She turned around, and retrieved a large tankard, "Are you looking for a drink?"

"Oh! No, no, I'm looking for a person, actually. It's Merry, actually, she wanted to talk."

"I'm sure she did, I'm sure she did. Merry! It's rude to keep a guest waiting!"

The conversation grew louder, louder, louder, until finally, Merry came strutting out. She’d changed her chemise, this one was green and hid her scarred shoulder. A patterned scarf rested neatly over her hair and behind her ears.

She pointed at the mass of gauze on her head, “Still in one piece!”

“I’m not surprised, you can hold your own,” Roden grinned. Now comfortable, he set his paper filled satchel on the wooden countertop, and perched on a tall stool.

“You should see her fight a door, it’s quite frightening,” teased Dawn.

“They are the bane of my existence.” Merry stared hard at the front door, and shook her fist at it before bursting into a series of snickers.

“A truly noble quest.”

Merry snatched a used tankard, and began scrubbing at the insides. Her smile faltered, “How’s Jamie Todd?”

“He’s alright, just a little concerned that he was caught throwing stones at a person.”

“Good, that’s good. You sure he’s fine?”

“Saw him myself a few hours ago,” Roden said. He retrieved a few reports, and set them on the counter. “Do you have-?”

“Ink? Right here,” Merry reached below the counter. “And we have a variety of writing tools to choose from too.”

“Don’t use the quill!” Dawn ordered from the other end of the bar. The door opened and closed. “Take care of that guest!”

The glass Merry had been scrubbing at clinked against the counter. Her brows screwed together, “I’ll take care of it.”

“What are you-,” Roden began, but Merry snapped her fingers near his face. He brushed her hands away, “I know, I know, I need to get my work done.”

“I’ll check back in on you in a moment, have that other guest to see,” Merry leaned over the bar, and smoothed her hand over Roden’s head.

He glared at the first report waiting to be finished. Check the details. Signature here, signature there. Next report. Check the details. Signature here, signature there, and so on and so forth. He caught a few snippets from Merry’s conversation with the new guest.

Something about lemon cream tarts.

Saints, he really wanted one of-

No! He had to do a report first!

Report first, tart later!

Merry set a hand on his shoulder, “Your handwriting.”

“I know, I know, it’s messy,” Roden shrugged.

“I was going to say that I like it, sir knight.”

Oh.

She disappeared behind the bar, reappearing moments later with a lemon cream tart in each hand. Roden received his first, much to his delight, and technically, he did manage to finish two reports.

He deserved a tart.

“-I completely understand! Court life is horrifically boring,” Merry said, her voice barely audible above the lute strings.

“I’m glad somebody gets it!” Chirped the guest, their voice oddly familiar.

But not familiar enough to draw his attention away from his blasted reports.

The lemon cream tart made it easier to bear.

Snippets of the conversation still drifted into Roden’s atmosphere. Merry laughed, “And is there anything else I can get you?”

“No thank you, but I do appreciate that you asked me,” came the reply.

And then Merry’s hand was back on his shoulder, asking him if there was anything she could do to help. Unless she was good at forgery, there wasn’t much she could do.

Roden scribbled through report after report, firmly aware that Merry was watching his every move.

He managed to finish the tart just as he finished his first pile of reports.

“And onto the next one,” Roden mumbled.

“Ah, ah, ah, take a tiny break, Captain,” Merry chided. She set her hands on Roden’s, “One stack is worth a victory celebration.”

“Do I get another tart?”

“Possibly, unless you’d prefer a pie.”

Pies were good, when baked properly.

Merry’s hands were cool on his palms.

Cool on his battle torn hands.

They fit too well in his own. A little too nicely. It was impossible to timidly turn his palms up, impossible not to hold Merry’s rough fingers.

He supposed he preferred that to a tart.

And a pie.

“Why are you holding hands with him?” Asked the other guest from right behind Roden.

He jumped, his eyes flying to the voice’s owner.

Only to find Nila with a little bit of lemon cream still on her top lip.

“Oh, uh, because-,” Merry stuttered, however, Roden had a better prepared retort.

“What are you doing here?”

Nila shrugged, “I was bored, so I followed you.”

“And you saw her come in, but didn’t tell me?” Roden asked, turning his attention to Merry.

She made a face, and clasped her hands behind her back. “I only did what I was told.”

“I wanted to surprise you, mostly so I could prove that it’s perfectly acceptable for me to go with you to things,” Nila pointed out. She clambered onto the stool beside Roden. “And I’m very helpful. I can read through your reports. All you’d have to do is sign.”

“Doesn’t mean you’d understand what’s going on,” noted Roden.

“That’s not important, all that matters is that everything is spelled correctly.”

Merry nodded, “She does have a point.”

A smile spread across his face, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t be rid of it, but he did manage to contain it to a slight smirk.

He handed a stack of papers to Nila.

Every so often, Roden glanced up to make sure Merry was still near, and watched as she cleaned tankard after tankard.

She beamed at him each time she caught him looking.

And all he could think about was the way her cool hands felt when they rested on his own.

#roden #ocs #prince jaron #fic friday #fic Friday except its a thursday #this #was literally #too fun #shamelessly fluffy #also nila is absolutely the best #I love her #shes a chaotic blonde child #wait #nila = cosette from les mis confirmed #the ascendance series #the ascendance trilogy #the false prince

[artistshadow]

Supergirl 5x11 "Back To The Future - Part 1" My Thoughts and Opinions. *Spoilers on the last episode so of*

Now that I have watched the Supergirl 5x11 episode and have had time to collect my thoughts I'm ready to give my opinions on the "queer-baiting" and the *SPOILER* whole William asking Kara out on a date in the next episode.

Okay so first off I really enjoyed the episode! So happy to see my boy/child Winn!! Jeremy Jordan killed it in this episode playing both Winn and Toyman and David Harewood directed this episode and he did an incredible job!!

Now on to the "queer-baiting" of the show. Now queer-baiting is defined online as "a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then not actually depict, same-sex romance. They do so to attract ("bait") a queer audience with the suggestion of relationships that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers." Now I can see how SuperCorp (the ship name for Lena and Kara) is coming off as queer-baiting. I joined the fandom of Supergirl back in season 3. I was watching all the Arrowverse shows on Netflix and when I tell you Lena became my favorite character after Kara I MEAN IT!!! Now a lot of people want Kara and Lena to get together because come on, they would be the ultimate power couple and I myself would love to see Lex's ugly face when he finds out his sister is dating the cousin of his number one enemy!😂😂 But here's the thing: I think the original plan was for Lena to become Kara's best friend (beside Winn and Alex). There would be rough times where everybody would be against Lena because she's a Luthor but Kara would stand by her and have her back and believe in her. They wanted to portray a strong, incredible, unbreakable friendship/bond between these two powerful, strong, smart, independent, successful, bad-A women. They can rely on each other, be there for one another, lean on each other when needed, but somewhere down the line, it sort of slipped a bit and instead of it coming off as true friendship it's coming off as there is a mutual attraction between them. It doesn't help the situation that the actresses (both VERY talented) have some major on screen chemistry.

Okay so in my opinion, MY OPINION, I don't think they are purposely trying to "queer-bait." I think that the writers of Supergirl are trying to give us a healthy friendship between two women that doesn't involve one doing something bad to the other or have them doing some dumb fight crap over some guy. None of that, just a good friendship. But in defense, when you try to write a good, loving friendship between two females, two males, and/or a female and a male (especially that one) it's going to be hard to write and portray it as "friendly" cause along the way it might start slipping and it's going to come off as romantic and people are going to think that they are attracted to each other. Especially if the friends are a boy and a girl cause God forbid a girl and guy be best friends without one having a crush on the other or one of them have to be gay in order for them to be friends.

Do I condone queer-baiting? No. Absolutely not. I think it's a disgusting, awful, horrible, and manipulative way to reel in LGBT fans in a sense they are going to see themselves represented in the media and get their hopes up just to watch them crash hard on the ground. Do I think Supergirl is queer-baiting? I believe that they're trying not to, but since they're writing for female/female friendship it's coming off that way and we're so far into that it's hard to back up on it because there such a big fandom for it. Cause I know some people are concerned whether of not if they do get together if it's because the writers want them to or if it's just fanservice.

Now onto the William and Kara thing. Guys, calm down. It's literally one date. We haven't even seen the episode yet and already everyone's losing their crap over something we haven't had a chance to watch. For all we know the date might go horribly wrong or they will try it out but realize they're better off as friends. Wait till the episode premieres before we start throwing toxic hate around. Put your pitchforks and torches away and let's find out what happens first. Dang. I guessed that William was maybe probably going to be a love interest for Kara back in the first half of the season. That they would develop feelings for each other over the course of the season. BTW I don't think you need to have chemistry with someone to go out a date with them. The first date is to stroke the fire and see if there's anything there. So let's at least give it a chance. Because at the end of the day, what’s more important: Kara being with Lena or Kara being happy (not saying Kara wouldn't be happy with Lena)? And God knows she needs some happiness with all the hell and high water she's been through over the past couple of seasons. Especially this season so far. Her whole freaking universe was wiped out of existence and there was nothing she could do about it and then had it merged with other earths and now she has to work with the person she hates the most (not to mention he's also considered a hero by the people of the new earth) and lost a close friend (Oliver), plus on top of alllllllllll that her best friend (Lena) hates her for lying to her about being Supergirl and y'all want to make a big deal over a date? That we saw in a promo? For an episode that doesn't air for 2 weeks? Good Lord.

Look for all we know, two things could be happening here: William's secretly evil and is trying to get close to Kara by tricking her or he's just a stand in until Kara and Lena do get together. I could use Shadowhunters as an example. Alec had feelings for Magnus but he agreed to marry Lydia to help his family but then at the wedding he realized that he couldn't hide his deep feelings for Magnus and called it all off, Lydia understood (she even encouraged him to go to Magnus), and then him and Magnus got together. It might not be the exact same thing as what's going on in Supergirl, but something similar like that could be the case. Plus think about it: SuperCorp could happen eventually. It might not be that fast to some of you'd liking, but it could happen. Heck it took them 3 seasons before Brainy finally looked accurate to his comic book character version. Good things come to those who wait and patience is a virtue.

Look, all I'm saying is that I get why you guys might be mad and it's understandable but I just urge you to please wait and see what happens the rest of the season. You might be mad now but you might not be come the end of the season. And it's okay to be upset and to voice your opinions but let's do it in a calm and kind way. There is no need to spread hate. Especially to the cast. They don't write the show so there is no reason on earth that they should be receiving your anger because you're unhappy. Voice your complaints but do it in the right way and to the right people. Otherwise nothing is going to get solved. Make noise but don't make chaos. I heard other people call the Supergirl fandom (as well as the SuperCorp shippers) toxic and I don’t want that to be true.

These are just my opinions. If Kara does end up with William and her and Lena reconnect and go back to being best friends, I won’t be mad. Will I be sad that SuperCorp's not happening? Yes. Will I be angry? No because I'll be happy that Kara's happy. Don't consider Kara and Lena being best friends a loss, consider it a win all its own. I don't want to disrespect anyone else's opinions and if you don't agree with mine, that's okay. Its not going to hurt my feelings. If I'm proven wrong, I won't try to argue over it. I can admit when I'm wrong. If you have any comments on this, your opinions on the whole thing all together or what I had to say about it, please fill free to comment. Just know that I will not be responding to hateful comments and if it comes to the point that people keep coming into my comment sections with noting but hate, I will delete them and/or block the users. Again, just my opinions and I hope you all see where I'm coming from and I have nice day.😀😊

#supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #you need to calm down #calm down #supercorp #season 5 #supergirl season 5 #lgbtq

[empyreanwritings]

Better Together

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader (Mob Boss AU)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: language, minor character death, mentions of an explosion

Summary: You were the most feared mob boss in New York City, and you didn’t need anyone to take care of you, but that didn’t keep Nat from helping out when she could.

A/N: This is a continuation of my Mob Boss AU drabble that was requested by @xoxolmj ! I’d put the link here, but apparently Tumblr hates links cause they’re dumb. It can be read as a stand-alone one shot, though, so don’t worry about trying to catch up! If you would like to read it, just search through my Natasha Romanoff drabble tag, and it should be one of the first! (: x

"I don't know anything else, I swear," Johnson sobbed. "Rumlow asked me to deliver the package, but I didn't know it was a bomb!"

You paced at the end of Johnson's hospital bed. Ash still covered some of your body, and your outfit was torn in more than one place. But you didn't care. All you cared about was Johnson being a rat. All signs pointed to it now. He had to have more information on Rumlow, and you would get it out of him. No matter what it took.

"Five of my men are dead," you seethed, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Because of you! So, you better start talking before I cut your tongue out and staple it to your forehead."

Johnson began to sob again. Tears and snot dripped from his face, and you grimaced. You wanted to scream at him to pull it together, but there was no use. The man knew he was screwed.

"Rumlow approached me a few weeks ago. He offered me a lot of money to spy on you and report back to him every day. I swear, though, I never planned on hurtin' anybody!"

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. You were getting real tired of Rumlow. He wanted to be as powerful as you, but he didn't have the man power. His circle was too small, and they obviously couldn't be trusted. His own rat caved in quickly at the sight of trouble. He must have thought attacking you would somehow shake your confidence, but he was wrong.

Your men were your family. This attack ignited a fire in your belly that you hadn't felt in a long time.

The nurse that checked his vitals gave you a knowing look as she passed you. You slipped the wad of bills into her hand, and she made a quick exit.

It paid to have a hand in the hospital. When Steve first suggested you start making sizeable donations to them, you never really understood why, but you did it nonetheless. You donated so much money they were able to expand and build more research wings to help find groundbreaking cures. And now, they were willing to cover up the murder of a man for you. It paid to be generous.

"Five of my men are dead, Johnson. Whether you wanted to hurt anyone or not, you did." You moved towards the side of his bed and kept your hands firmly on the railing. "So, I need you pass on a message to Rumlow."

He nodded. His whole body was shaking. "I'll do anything! I'll tell Rumlow anything you want me to! Just please give me another chance."

You tutted and tenderly placed your hand on the side of his face. "I have a policy in my business: blood must have blood. It's a darker way of saying an eye for eye. But anyways, I don't need you to tell him anything. You are the message."

"Wha-"

You ripped the pillow out from under his head and held it over his face. He was too drugged up to fight back properly, courtesy of the nurse. He slapped at your hands and clawed at your wrists, trying his hardest to get you to let up, but you never did. You kept the pillow in its place until his hands fell limp to his side. The heart monitor flatlined, and you let out a relieved sigh.

One less rat to worry about.

The nurse walked back in and began removing any wires from his chest. You excused yourself, quietly slipping through the door without another word. The adrenaline running through your veins disappeared, and the impact of your day suddenly crashed over you. You wanted to collapse, but you refused to seem weak. Not to them. Not to anyone.

A flash of red caught your eye, and you whirled around in surprise. Nat pashed herself off the wall she was leaning against and made her way towards you. Her eyes were full of concern, and she gave you a once-over to make sure you still had all of your limbs.

"I'm fine," you sighed. "I'm fine."

"Like hell you are. The fire department is still trying to get everything under control over at the office." She turned your shoulder to examine the burn on your upper arm. "And that is blistering."

She brought you to an empty exam room as she snapped at a nursed to get a doctor to check on you. You tried to protest, but she wasn't having any of it. She made you sit on the bed and wait until a doctor could treat your wounds.

"Steve called. If you were curious." Nat was pissed. You could tell by her tense shoulders and the way her jaw was set. You should have been the one to call her, but you had gotten so caught up with everything that you didn't think about it.

After your first date with her, you both noticed how well you clicked. One date became another, and now six months later, you two were going steady. The merger with your weapons exchange and her strip clubs had been monumental in the underground circuit. Everyone feared you two would be unstoppable now that you had each other.

It was probably another reason why Rumlow attacked you, and Nat recognized that. He felt threatened, but you would make him regret it - together.

"Did you take care of the rat?" You nodded slowly. "Good."

She saw your face drop and quickly made her way towards you. You were born into this life. You watched your father kill as many people as he needed to make a name for himself, but you weren't like him. You hated taking someone's life. You never hesitated to do so if you needed to, but it always weighed heavily on you. Nat learned that early on in your relationship.

"Let me take care of Rumlow." She kneeled in front of you and gently grasped at your hands. "I'll make sure they all pay. I promise you. You take your time to mourn your men."

Your lip quivered, but you fought back any tears that threatened to spill. "I want him dead, Tasha. He killed my family. I want him to pay. You know the rules."

Nat nodded. "Blood must have blood."

You looked down at your hands and traced small circles in Nat's palm. She'd kill whoever it took to make sure your men were avenged. You were her life, and an attack on you was an attack on her. She wouldn't rest until she made it right again.

"I will take care of it, my love," she whispered.

You were about to respond when the doctor finally walked in. Nat backed away to give him some room, and she watched you put your mask back on. You never let anyone see you cry because you didn't trust them. It was safer to assume everyone was an enemy until proven otherwise, especially after this event, and you never let an enemy see you at your weakest.

Nat stayed silent as the doctor treated your wounds. You didn't even flinch when he began stitching a cut on your cheek. You were the strongest woman she had ever met, and it was just one of the reasons she admired you so much. No one needed to take care of you, but she would. She would do anything for you.

----------

Rumlow groaned loudly as he came to. His head pounded. He slowly opened his eyes and smirked when he saw Nat standing in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest. She wasn't here to play games. She wanted answers, and she intended to get them.

"Ooh, did I push the wrong buttons?" Rumlow asked sarcastically.

Nat brought her hand down on his cheek, relishing in the satisfying smack! that sounded through the air. "I wouldn't get cheeky, if I were you. You're hanging by a thin thread as it is."

"How many people did I get?" He chuckled. "I wish I killed that bitch of yours. Tearing down an entire empire? That would have been great."

"You do realize you're going to die, right? The more you piss me off, the slower it will be."

Nat was good at a lot of things - torture was one of them. If she promised a world of pain, that is exactly what she delivered. She had no issue with taking a life if they didn't deserve to live it. She'd put your life over anyone else's. It wasn't even a contest anymore.

"Why the attack on Y/N?"

Rumlow shook his head. "You don't even get it do you? I was sending a message to you! You merged your business with hers over mine! You screwed me over for a woman you're screwing, and I had to retaliate."

"Everyone knows she's the top mob boss in New York City. Why would I even think of merging my business with yours over hers? That would make me look stupid." It had nothing to do with you two sleeping together. Your first date had really been a business dinner. You mulled over the details and benefits of merging with Nat, and then yes, you two slept together. But that was besides the point.

"There's talk that she's only merging with you because she's getting soft. She doesn't belong in this world anymore, and the more people realize that, the more they'll come for her."

"Then let them come," your voice echoed through the abandoned warehouse. Nat smiled when she heard the sound of your heels approaching her.

You glanced over at her. "Tony called. If you were curious."

Nat rolled her eyes playfully. Of course, you'd use her words against her at some point. Clearly, you both needed to talk to your right-hand men about ratting you out to the other. They were just trying to keep you safe, but man, they were quick to tattle on you.

"You should know that as we speak, my men are storming your precious mansion and slaughtering all of your men." You smiled down at him. The fear in his eyes was evident, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "They'll tear your home apart until there is nothing left, and no one will ever look into it. You know why? Because you're no one. You will always be a nothing in this city."

Rumlow strained against the ropes and shouted curses at you until his face turned red. You smirked and looked over at Nat, who had the same expression as you. She held back a joke about pushing all the wrong buttons. For someone who dished it out a lot, he didn't know how to handle it.

You pulled the gun from your holster and aimed it at his head, but Nat placed her hand over yours and forced you to lower it. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I'll do it," she murmured as she removed the gun from your hold. "Turn your head."

You complied, turning the other way almost instantly. One shot. You knew there would be a bullet hole perfectly in the middle of his forehead. Nat never missed. She was just too damn good with a gun.

"Maybe I am getting soft," you joked.

Nat stepped towards you and gently gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at her. "You know better than to believe what a man has to say about you."

"I know. I'm more powerful than anyone in this city besides you. I will always know that." You pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "But what if what Rumlow said is true? What if there are others who want to try come for me?"

"Then we take care of them. Together. You know we're our strongest when we're at each other's side."

You smiled and wrapped your arms around her neck, pressing lazy kisses to her face. "Together."

Marvel Tag: @killcomet @stuckysheart @steampowerednightvaler

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[lgcsubin]

►  CASTINGO5 |    HWANG SUBIN ₊ ˟       THE INTERVIEW

is there really a point in doing his best for this all over again? especially when subin knows the most he’ll get is a guest role, even if he tries for something more and wants to latch onto it with his own two hands? it’s a joke  -  he’s honestly making a fool of himself standing here and doing his best for this when the reality will hit later that once again, he wasn’t good enough for any of it.  especially more so when the audition process itself is normal, but the interview afterwards isn’t.  it’s not like subin will be playing himself on a sitcom; what’s the point in an interview that asks him too many questions about things that he’d like to keep private?

because of course, right now they’d ask him about love.  subin’s about ready to leave the room before they even try.

Q.   WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LOVE TO YOU?

how is he supposed to answer this?  it’s a question that’s full of twists and turns, and subin quite frankly, isn’t sure he knows the answer himself.  he thought he did.  he thought that love was something that was easy, as long as there was love it would all make sense  -  it would all work out.  but again, he was proven wrong and in love, he’s a failure, too.  it’s like he really can’t catch a break.  “ sometimes, it’s confusing.” he admits finally, brow furrowed.  “ you’d think that love was something simple  -  something you could understand because you could feel it, and you can feel it when it goes away, too.”  subin shrugs, sighing and scratching the back of his neck.  “ i just know that love is important.  i don’t know if i can find a meaning in it right now, though.”

Q.   HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HURT IN LOVE?

subin sucks in a breath through his teeth  -  annoyed as he is, it’s not like he can really tell the staff conducting the interview to fuck off or leave him alone.  he’s supposed to want this role, so he can’t botch it in the interview for being an asshole.  instead, subin just gives a very vague answer.  “ i think you’d be hard pressed to find a twenty -something who hasn’t suffered a first heartbreak.  whether it’s from family or a friend or a lover.”

Q.   HAVE YOU EVER HURT IN LOVE?

again with the annoying questions.  subin purses his lips as he thinks, tries to find the words for the fact that it wasn’t him who caused the rift in their relationship, but rather the lack of time.  just an effect of being a trainee in a world that doesn’t respect personal boundaries.  “ i don’t think so.  sometimes things just don’t work out.  i think time was my biggest enemy.”

Q.   DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS REGARDING LOVE OR A LOVE INTEREST? WHICH?

“ the fact that i’m not normal.” he laughs a little, though the sound is humourless and hollow.  “ i’m not trying to live a normal life.  all my time is devoted to training, and to school and i don’t think there’s much room for anything else.  i wish there could be, but there isn’t.”  he pauses.  “ i want to be loved, too.  i think i told you, though  -  my enemy is time.  i don’t have enough of it in a day, otherwise i think i would be happier now.  i wouldn’t be as tired, and i wouldn’t have to give up being normal for the sake of my future.”

Q.   WHAT IS THE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP TO YOU?

“ one that doesn’t die.” subin tilts his head.  “ isn’t that true for anyone? i just want something that will last. something that will be there even when time isn’t on our side.”  he smiles bleakly.  “ maybe i’m naive.  that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore.”

Q.   IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY, WOULD YOU HOLD IT IN OR TELL THEM?

shaking his head, subin sighs.  “ what’s the point in saying anything? at least until i’m good enough, i don’t think i’m ready to hold my heart out.” 

#⟨ ‣ STAR BOY ₊ ˚ ━ tasks . ⟩ #lgc:castingcall005