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asumofwords · 9 months

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Treat - Ettore x Reader

Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, Somnophillia, rape, non-con, slight dub-con, masturbation, creepiness, sedation, assault, drugs, induced vomiting, blood, spitting, cum play, violence, degradation.

Pairings: Dark!Ettore x Reader (It’s Ettore… come on)

Synopsis: The cold of space had nothing on the cool glare of Ettore, another inmate on the spacecraft you were sentenced to life on. At the mercy of the Doctor onboard, Dibs, all are a part of fertility experiments and used as test subjects. Said Doctor has increased your sedation dosage as part of the trials, what will happen when suspicions arise for the unusual things happening to your body?

Word Count: 6.1k

Notes: @targaryenrealnessdarling and @ewanmitchellcrumbs inspired this hedonistic fucking abomination by creating an obsession with a man I shouldn’t even like. This is DD:DNE territory, so you have been warned. I blame you both for making me so fucking feral for this man. Enjoy ;) <3

It was cold.

It’s not supposed to be cold, but it was.

There was no way to keep out the chill of outer space. No way to keep the sub zero chill outside from seeping into metal ship you drifted in. No way to keep the unnatural of being in space away from your bones.

Your senses.

There was heating, and it was warm enough inside for you to wear shorts and a shirt, some mandated clothing given to you, but even then, the artificial warmth couldn’t keep the chill from seeping into the walls or floors.

Or perhaps it was the chill of being watched.

But you were always being watched, prisoner and a body for human experimental trials, or ‘guinea pigs’ as Boyse says, another inmate who hates being there just as much as you. She was sweet enough, but you kept her, like everyone else, at an arms length.

Being put on the floating jail in space was a combination of a shit routine and being stuck with other not so great people. When you first arrived, you had kept to yourself, quiet, head down, methodical. You didn’t want trouble, you just wanted peace. And anything was better than the Super Max they had you in before back on Earth.

So you were good.

Took your meds when told, took showers when commanded, ate and slept on the clock like a well trained pet. And sometimes, if you were feeling particularly inclined, which was more often than not, you found yourself in The Box. A crude space for you to go in and get out your ‘urges’.

'Fraternising' with the others was a big no no, but really, what were they going to do? Shoot you out the hull? You doubted it, and if you were honest, you didn’t care much either way.

You were going to die on this ship, lost in the same fucking routine for the rest of your days if you didn’t all go absolutely bat shit insane and cannibalise each other, which was a real fear Monte had whispered to you once.

Not much of a talker that one.

But Ettore was worse.

He barely even spoke a word. He just watched.

Listened.

Like he was sizing everyone up, writing invisible notes in his mind of who was who, and what was what. As though he was collecting intel from everyone like a secret government plant, or as though he was waiting to sell secrets, not that there really were any, all of you were there for crimes that warranted a life sentence.

Death sentence in your case.

And the way Ettore watched you, watched Boyse, or any of the other women on board, gave you an inkling as to what he may have done to deserve being locked up with the rest of you.

But it didn’t stop you from being intrigued, nor casting an extra glance here or there to watch him. Pine over him even, bent over, shirtless scrubbing the floor, but what else were you to do? You hadn't been touched in months, maybe years, you couldn't tell how long it had been with no natural rise or set of the sun, and he wasn't bad on the eyes. Leaning against the wall of the hull, waiting for whoever it was in The Box to finish.

Because thats where he always was.

The Box.

You would say it bordered on slightly neurotic. Obsessive. Insatiable.

And it was the moments before he went in that really rivalled the chill of space.

His pale blue eyes would always find you.

Always.

And although it sent shivers down your spine in fear and disgust, it also settled a warmth within you too.

It was hard.

Not being able to touch anyone.

Being surrounded by people, all day, all night, and not once having a chance to feel them. Hold them. Be with them. You had thought that perhaps Dibs would have at least let same sex interactions slide because there was no possible way for conception, but it was as if the bitch was edging herself. Or had some sick fetish of having everyone in a fucking cube strung out to shit in space.

Not the smartest of moves to whoever gave this experiment the go ahead, but you had to give them props for their misplaced faith.

You padded down the hall, making your way to the Doctors office, ready to collect your meds; sleeping pills which knocked you flat on your ass about half an hour after ingesting them, and then go to bed.

You saw the door up ahead and sighed, it was not that you didn’t want to sleep, you just hated the idea of constantly being pumped with this shit.

Surely it wasn’t good for your body?

But then again, being in space and stuck where you were with no choice to go outside in fresh air, noting that there wasn’t any air outside the craft, wasn’t good for you either.

Unnatural.

But it was all unnatural.

And in some ways, better than death row.

Sometimes.

Just as you moved to round the door, Ettore’s large body ducked beneath the frame, strolling right past you. His eyes flicked over your body quickly, predatorily, lashes blinking softly as he brushed past you and went on his way back to his cell.

There was that cold again.

It surrounded him like a wraith.

You slid into the room, Dibs barely sparing you a glance as you stood behind her, her long fingers fucking about on the table as she took her time to give you the meds you got from her at the same time, every fucking day. You thought that perhaps she may be a little more organised since all she did was sit around on her ass and be a prat.

But she wasn’t, and you waited, standing beside her as she swivelled in her stupid little chair to face you.

You had always had a pretty good read on people. Ever since you were young, you could spot the bad ones from the good, but it never really kept you away from the bad. Your ex's more bad than they were good.

It excited you, if you were going to be honest.

The rush of adrenaline, feeling of fear as your fight or flight would kick in when you looked at someone and just knew they had a more sinister part of them simmering beneath the surface.

And the moment you had spotted Ettore on the ship, being strapped in beside him, the alarm bells had rung in your head, blaring red DANGER behind your eyes. And you had felt the same fluttering in your chest as you felt his eyes on you the whole time.

But Dibs?

She was different.

There was something more malevolent than what meets the eye. Something that hid behind her dark gaze. And as you stood inside the make shift infirmary, doctors notes spread out on her table, shut curtains behind you, you felt as though perhaps you would have been safer stuck inside The Box with Ettore.

Dibs held out a small plastic cup to you, two pills inside.

Usually, it held one.

Your brows furrowed as you looked up at her.

"Changed dosage.” Was the only thing she offered you.

“Why?”

The Doctor blinked up at you with no answer, silence falling over you. You asked again, and were met with the same blank stare. And so you took the cup begrudgingly, snatching it from her hand and throwing the two little pills into the back of your mouth to dry swallow them. You could feel them catch on the back of your throat, sitting heavily like a lump, and so you swallowed once more to get them down.

Dibs gave you a sterile smile, and turned away back to her notes, scribbling.

You stomped away, walking back down the corridor to go to your cell, feeling the acidic, briny feeling on the back of your tongue.

No matter how many nights you had swallowed those things, it always made a bad taste settle in the back of your mouth, and a hollowness in your stomach.

When you had first arrived on the ship, you struggled to fall to sleep knowing that you were drifting in space, and couldn't get off even if you wanted, with the low hum of the ship in a constant drone keeping you alert, and so Dibs had given you sedatives to help you drift off.

There was already sedatives in the water Dibs gave you all, but the other girls in your cell followed suit soon enough, asking for the little pill so that they could sleep undisturbed in the night.

The closer you go to your room, the more your mind felt clouded, as though a thick layer of fog had crossed it, obscuring your thoughts and making each one feel as though they had been dipped inside a vat of molasses.

Even your limbs felt heavy, and so you hurried your uneven pace to your cell block, stumbling against a wall where you flopped down onto the bed, too exhausted to pull yourself beneath the sheets as the room around you spun.

You could feel and hear the others making their way to their bunks after you, but your eyelids grew heavy, and soon enough, you were out like a light. As though a switch had been flicked by the manicured nails of Dibs.

There were no dreams to be had, not even an awareness of sleep, just a deep, black abyss that swallowed you whole and completely, with neither complaint nor fight from your limbs.

When you woke the next morning, the first thing you noticed was how tired you still were, as though the medication still lingered in your periphery like dark little tendrils that rubbed smooth and soothing hands upon your mind, trying to lure you back.

But the day had to move on, and you were unstrapped from your bed, limbs feeling entirely too heavy to lift as you hauled yourself out. You didn't understand the need for the restraints, especially since you would be sedated and unable to move anyway, but you supposed they were there to keep you put in case you did.

Behavioural issues and that.

Who knows what the others had done to warrant a death row sentence. Yours certainly wasn't a light one.

The moment your feet hit the ground, your stomach lurched. Pain rippling up through your stomach.

What the hell?

You rubbed your face blearily and sighed, chalking it up to your period making an appearance early this month, or perhaps Dibs' experiments had finally stuck, or were melting your insides by the feel of it.

Dibs was going to have a field day with you, you knew it. You would have your legs pried open by stirrups and have her shove a million and one swabs inside of you like she did every month.

Like clockwork.

Well, cycle really.

You hated it.

Another thing to add to the misery of it all; being prodded by a stone faced bitch who only showed kindness to the men on board. Couldn't even get off to the way she shoved those cotton swabs or fingers inside you, fishing around as if she was going through a pocket for spare change.

Except this pain was sharp, and stung, but was dulled by whatever lingering sleeping pill was dragging your body down. You would have to tell the eager Doctor to be more gentle about turkey basting you with whoever's cum she picked from her cups.

Boyse had told you once she could have sworn she saw Dibs dipping her fingers into the 'donation' cups to taste test each one. You had laughed so hard you cried, and Monte had eyed you from across the canteen.

You yawned and stretched, ignoring the ache and hit the showers with the others, beginning your day of chores.

Today you were cleaning, something you actually didn’t mind. It was methodical, time consuming, and there was a clear outcome at the end that you enjoyed.

Cloth and cleaner in hand, you polished handles and doors and any surface that you could reach, wiping down the metal and other surfaces to sterilise them.

Boyse was on floor duty that day, and so she cleaned alongside you quietly, the occasional whisper or conversation had as you moved. But you truly struggled to hold one, your mind still muddled from the lurch of the changed dose.

You would need to speak about lowering said dosage back to normal with Dibs. This was like trying to think and exist when shitfaced at the pub.

God you missed the pub.

It was the little things you missed most. Things that you had taken for granted, like wind, or rain, or bugs. You missed the itch of being bitten. How fucked was that? Missing mosquitoes? Dibs needed to check your head rather than your fertility.

And so the day ended, and every surface in one wing of the ship was spotless thanks to yours and Boyse’s work. You ate alongside the others quietly and couldn’t help but feel that chill again, covering you in an icy blanket.

Lifting your head, you spotted Ettore watching you.

Still.

Like those nature documentaries you used to watch, when the lions would be hidden in the tall grass, still as a rock, watching and waiting to pounce on the galloping gazelle.

Your mouth felt dry, and the hunger you had felt left, pain winding its way inside of you as you stood slowly, careful to not set anyone off, especially him, and moved to clear your plate to go to Dr. Dibs.

You were more eager to get away from Ettore’s piercing gaze than anything, feeling like a game of cat and mouse, waiting to turn your head and see him chasing after you down the halls. It set your skin alight.

But he didn't.

Your journey to speak to the doctor about your dosage was a waste. Dibs didn’t budge, and in your hand ,the small pill tub was dropped with two inside.

You watched her intently, mouth parted to argue.

“You done yet?” Ettore’s voice swallowed the artificial air in the room.

Your head snapped to the door, watching as he slowly walked in, like a predator, looking at you intently. You blinked up at him, his lean form towering over you in the sterile cream room. You could smell the soft scent of generic soap you all used and the musky undertones of him beneath.

“I want my treat.” He spoke again, hand held out to Dibs, who placed a pill in his palm, no cup holding it. Simply placed into his palm with her fingers, as though there was an element of familiarity between the two.

The cold of his gaze contrasted the warmth of his body as it loomed over you.

Dibs spun on her chair to look at you through her lashes, eyes dropping pointedly to the pills still un-swallowed in your cup, “Take them.”

You threw the pills into the back of your throat, locking eyes with Ettore as you dry swallowed them, holding back the grimace as they slid down the back of your throat roughly. Ettore followed, smacking his palm over his mouth as he swallowed his own, then turning his head to open his mouth in show to Dibs, who gave him a soft smile.

“Smashing. Thank you.” He spoke down to her, accent thick on his tongue. His eyes flicked over you once more before he sauntered out the room.

Your feet felt stuck on the linoleum flooring until Dibs cleared her throat at you, “Go back to your cell.”

Taking her command, you left, winding down the corridor, falling onto your bed again and succumbing to the heavy sleep.

This went on for days, the same dosage, the same medicated sedation, and the same groggy rising with a continued ache that never seemed to leave your core. You waited for the blood to come, but there was only the occasional bit of spotting.

Perhaps a lighter cycle this month.

It wasn’t until that morning, when you went to the showers did you notice something was not right. Something that justified the inkling in the back of your mind that something was afoot with the pain that wracked your body.

That the pain wasn’t due to your monthly cycle, and something far more sinister instead.

Washing down with soap, the others in their cubicles beside you, your eyes were drawn to colour that should not be on the skin. Dark blotches of purples and blue, streaked with pinks across your hips and inner thighs. Your fingers pressed into them, hissing as pain shot up through you. But the pain wasn’t what made you blanch. It was the shape of them. And how your fingers fit perfectly within the large blooms of colour.

Fingerprints.

More specifically, finger marks, littered across your body.

Your heart raced in your chest as you looked at them, horror and sickness skyrocketing inside of you. Bile rose in your throat, and the urge to scrub your skin raw became an immediate compulsion, your nails scratching at the bruises roughly.

Dressing rapidly, you raced to the Doctors office, shoes not even on as your feet slapped on the floor loudly as you made your way down. But of course, whatever high power above controlled the fate that surrounded you had other plans for you, and your body collided with a body of steel.

You neck craned up, meeting the icy glare of Ettore.

“Watch it.” He sneered down at you, hands at his sides in fists.

You didn’t know what to do but blink at him, and it was all you did, looking up at the man who set your skin alight, a blush creeping along your cheeks and fear shimmering down your spine.

“You gonna move?” He asked again, lips pulled into a sharp frown.

You took a step back, then another, and another, Ettore’s eyes grazing over your body, settling on your chest as it heaved, wet patches of your shirt sticking to your skin.

You swallowed thickly.

“Quiet one, huh.” Ettore mused, eyes becoming half hooded as he watched you, “They always scream the loudest.”

You sneered, watching as Ettore walked towards you, leaning his head down just a bit as he whispered to you, “I’ll be in The Box.” Before he was on his way, body swaying with his walk.

Your heart leaped through your chest as you watched him.

“Somethings wrong.” You sat on the doctors bed, legs in stirrups as Dibs looked at you in annoyance, clinical eyes roving your body as you pulled your shorts high on your hips to display the bruises on your thighs.

Dibs didn’t even blink at them, just glanced at them shortly before writing in her notes.

“Something is-“

“-Vitamin D deficiency, Iron deficiency.”

“Fuck you. It looks li-“

“Take these.”

Her hand was held out to you, a small circular brown pill and an oblong pink one sat inside a medical cup. You blinked at her hand as she held them out to you.

“I don’t fucking-“

“-Take them. Or you will be marked as refusing treatment.”

Snatching the cup from her palm, your own nails scratching her hand, you threw them back into your mouth, staring at her angrily as you swallowed them.

“Good girl.” Dr. Dibs spun in her chair away from you and back to her desk, already looking through her notes in dismissal.

You swung your legs out of the stirrups and sat on the edge of the bed looking at her, staring daggers into the back of her head.

It could be so easy.

Who would know it was you?

You could just-

“Are you refusing to leave now too? Very naughty of you. Monte will have to come deal with this behaviour, little birdy.” Came her slimy voice.

"Fuck you."

Grunting, you hopped off the bed and stormed out the room, muttering beneath your breath in agitation and anger as it poured out of you.

"Fucking bitch."

Something was wrong, and you knew it.

Fucking useless cunt.

You went back to your chores, but found that you could scarcely concentrate with the anger that seemed to mount within.

You needed a release, and fast.

The Box was made for just such thing, and so you dropped the clippers in your palm in the garden and made your way to your destination. The anticipation of going into The Box made way for excitement over the anger, but all in all, it still rippled through you in waves.

All you needed was a good and rough fuck.

Get the anger out.

Your ex was always a good source of inspiration when inside The Box. The way his hips would snap into yours brutally, his teeth in your flesh, hands slapping, pinching.

Choking.

The Box would calm you down.

Your legs carried you down the ladder before you jumped down the last few impatiently, the light in this part of the ship far darker than the rest. You walked forward, looking at the closed door before feeling ice wash over you.

Who else would be waiting outside of it but Ettore.

His cool eyes flicked to yours as your steps slowed, looking to him and then the closed door. His lips pursed together into a pout and one corner pulled down into a smirk.

Shit eating bastard.

He leant back against the steel wall of the hull, head turned to look down at you as you leant beside him. Too frustrated to turn back, and not willing to let him scare you out of a reprieve that you needed.

“Gonna be waiting a while.” Ettore hummed, suggestive grin on his lips before he swiped a tongue against the front of his teeth noisily.

You looked him up and down, no mood for his attitude or creeping glares, “You look like it’d be quick.” You purred.

Ettore’s nostrils flared and his lips pulled down into a sneer, he pushed off of the wall, looking down at you as he adjusted his jaw, the muscles clenching tightly, blue eyes narrowed.

Your head connected with the metal behind you as he jerked you back into it roughly, forearm pressed against the top of your chest. Pain bloomed in the back of your skull, but that didn’t stop the small mewl that escaped from your lips.

Ettore’s eyes widened before they narrowed, face looming in closer to you as he watched your chest rise and fall rapidly, heat blooming in your stomach.

The door to The Box opened and Boyse stepped out, eyeing the two of you suspiciously.

Ettore stepped back dropping his arm to his side as he spun around and entered, facing you as the doors began to close, his eyes roaming down your body slowly as he sucked his tongue.

A shiver rolled through you.

Boyse watched you carefully, “You right?”

You cleared your throat, feeling your heart beat like a drum in your chest, “Yea, I’m alright. Asshole.”

Boyse nodded and left, and you waited for your turn, waiting for the door to open again, but it didn’t.

The moments flew by and it almost felt as if he was taking his time because of your comment. Punishing you.

Proving a point.

Fucking cunt.

You huffed and pushed away from the wall, making your way back to work again, knowing that dinner would be soon, and then the deep and dreamless sleep once more.

Dinner was quick, and in no time you were walking down to collect your sedatives from the Doctor who made your skin crawl almost as badly as Ettore. Your mood had not improved, and you would say that the want that simmered inside of you made it even worse now that it had gone unattended.

When you entered the infirmary, Ettore was already there, talking quietly with Dibs who was seated, craning her neck up to look at him with a soft smile on her lips.

Fucking pick-me.

Upon hearing your arrival, both turned to face you, and Ettore instinctually held out his hand, a pill placed in its palm, before it put it in his mouth, his eyes on you, narrowed and almost angry. But when he looked down at the doctor, a soft smirk wound its way on his lips and he whispered a small ‘thank you’ to her, brushing past you with a sniff on his way out.

You held out your palm in the same manner he had, eyes still on the door Ettore had walked out of, feeling the plastic of the small cup being placed in the centre. You looked down at it.

Two sedatives.

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?" You grumbled, and tilted your head back, letting the two pills roll onto your tongue, Dibs eyes watching.

But there was something about it.

Something about her watching you like that, that made you shiver.

“Show me.” She commanded and you swallowed both dryly, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue obscenely at her so that she could get a closer look.

The Doctor nodded and turned away, back to her notes.

But fear scrambled in your throat.

You all but raced out of the office, making your way straight to the toilet, dropping to your knees in front of it as your instincts took over, shoving two fingers down your throat. You gagged quietly in the space, daring to not draw attention to what you were doing.

You did it again, and the bile and bitter taste of stomach acid flooded your tongue. You bent over the rim gasping, looking down into the water to see if the pills were in the bowl with your dinner.

You spotted one and collapsed down onto the floor feeling some sort of relief, though your stomach still turned, and bile coated your tongue. You sat there for a moment, feeling the cool of the bathroom floor on your thighs and hands before standing.

You couldn’t get caught.

You flushed the toilet and brushed your teeth carefully, cupping water into your mouth to rinse the acidic taste that settled behind your teeth. And yet still, you were still wrought with nerves.

As you lay in your bed, bottom bunk opposite to Boyse, you stared up at the top one, the restraints strapping you down by your arms as the beginnings of sedated fatigue gnawed at your vision.

So you had only gotten one pill out.

No matter.

Better than both.

At least it calmed your heart, and you turned your head to look at Boyse who was already out like a light, the soft curve of her nose shadowed in the dim of the room.

You wondered what she was here for often, but never had the courage or want to learn.

Some things are better left unsaid.

You tried to resist it, tried to fight the way your eyelashes sagged and your limbs fell heavier by the second, but in no time at all, you were sucked into the usual dreamless state that you had been in for god knows how long you had been on that goddamn ship.

It’s dark.

So dark.

And warm.

Soft pressing in the back of your mind, drawing you just below the surface of consciousness.

Why was it so warm?

There was pressure.

Pressure on top of you.

Pressure inside of you.

A thing.

Or two.

Maybe three.

What?

The pressure turned to a dull ache.

A pain.

Pleasure?

Why was it so warm?

It curled in your gut and you groaned, mind foggy, limbs of stone as you felt the weight of your body come back to you. Come back to the room.

The bed.

Soft sheets.

Grunts.

Weight.

Warm.

Pain in your thighs. Pain between them. Weight on top of you.

Breaths in your ear that are not your own.

Grunts.

Moans.

Hisses.

Eyelids feeling like lead as they fluttered, the sound around you louder, rustling, wet, clapping, breathing.

The room spun on its axis, mind reeling as you were pulled from the depths of your sedated sleep, your body reacting to whatever was being done to it.

It was hard.

Hard to stay awake.

You drifted again, bobbing beneath the surface only to rise back up again, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks. Blurred vision making it hard to focus.

Heavy mind making it hard to comprehend.

Hard to see.

“Whas-“ You slurred, head being rocked backwards by movements, making the nausea that rose within stronger, barreling through you with a spearing sensation.

A loud grunt in your ear as the jolting of your body picked up. Something moving inside of you.

Atop you.

You could see movement above you, hair, a body.

A face.

Ettore.

You blinked, his sharp jawline coming into focus, comprehension wading through the thick fog of your mind as you continued to look up at him, mind reeling to figure out what was going on.

Eyes half lidded, lips pulled down into a sneer, Ettore rutted into you from above.

“Wha-“

“Shut the fuck up.” He growled, hand slapping over your lips as he fucked into you.

Your eyes widened, pain blooming through you, strength dulled, senses foggy, but knowing.

Knowing.

You knew now.

Ettore’s length fucked into you roughly, the tip beating against your cervix painfully. The stretch stung as he drilled into you, splitting you apart on his cock. Each thrust was just as brutal as the other, the sound of his hips clapping against yours loud in the cell of the others sedated, still in their dreams.

Was this a dream?

It felt too real.

You writhed beneath him sluggishly, trying to get out of his grip, breathing heavily through your nose as his hand stayed pressed against your mouth, small whimpers and grunts spilling into his palm as his cock bullied your walls repeatedly.

Ettore watched your face, lips pulling up into a smile as he gave a particularly harsh thrust, your eyes scrunching shut in pain as you yelped, sensing you had come fully to the surface of consciousness to feel the truth of his assault.

Pain pinged up you, your walls clamping down on him as your hips tried to angle away from him, restraints cutting into the skin of your wrists, legs too heavy to lift. Tugging at them for dear life as he watched you struggle from below. He laughed, deep in his chest before a groan fell from his swollen lips, eyes closing in pleasure with his mouth hung open.

You tried to scream beneath him palm, to try and wake the others, to call for help, for anything. But the hand at your mouth did not budge, and so the muffled sound of your cries fell on sedated ears. Tears prickled in your eyes from the pain as you tried to shake your head away from him, mouth opening.

You bit down on his palm.

Hard.

Ettore cursed, flinching as he pulled his hand away from your face, fist reeling back before it connected painfully into the side of your mouth.

You could taste blood. Coppery on your tongue, and you didn’t know if it was his or yours. Probably a mixture of the two. But your bite did not deter him, and his thrusts only became crueler, your body jolting beneath him as you felt wet beneath your hips.

How long had he been doing this?

How many times had he done this?

But the wet was not just from the man above you.

It also came from you.

Small sparks of pleasure wound its way up through your gut as he rutted into you in fervent, animalistic thrusts. Each one a sharp grunt or hiss falling from his lips. Each one, his tip bullying the soft and sponge spot within you. Each thrust winding the coil within tighter and tighter.

Ettore slapped your cheek, a small cry falling from your lips as you looked up at him, tears running down your cheeks as you sobbed quietly.

From the pain.

From the shock.

From the pleasure.

“Fuck you’re tight.” He growled, “Fucking dirty bitch.”

Another sob, mouth opened to cry out.

His lips pursed, and warmth sprayed across your face, the wet of his spit landing across cheeks and lips, hand coming to grab your jaw painfully as he squeezed, the joints protesting with pops as he continued, no doubt bruises to be seen in the morning.

Your walls fluttered around him, each snap of his hips grazing your swollen clit sending euphoria racing up your spine.

It was all too much.

“Look at you.” He sneered at you meanly, “Gonna cum on my cock aren’t you? Feel you tightening up. Fuck. So fucking disgusting. Asking for it. Always looking at me with those fucking eyes. Take it.”

It was a peel of words that continued to fall from his lips, his hips stuttering as his pace faltered.

He was near his end, and you were too.

With two hands, he wrapped them around your neck, leaning his weight down on it as he fucked into you, black spots blooming in your vision as he cut off both air and blood supply. You wheezed beneath him, thrashing against the restraints, hands in fists as they rubbed the skin raw.

You felt light, airy as you looked up at him, the lead of your limbs lifting with the lack of oxygen, the angle he fucked you in having changed, and each rut of his hips jabbed against your G-spot violently.

“Take it, you fucking cunt.” He growled, your eyes fluttering shut as you began to feel weightless, beginning to drift back to your sleep. A nice sleep. Comfortable one. Soft and warm and-

You came violently, a silent cry ripped from your throat, eyes shooting open as you looked up at the man who bit his bottom lip roughly, eyebrows knotted together as he fucked you through it.

The hands left your throat, gasp sucked into your lungs as you writhed beneath him, his thrusts pulling painful pleasure from you as his hips stuttered, one hand clawing at your hip, the other tugging your head back by your hair, exposing your neck to him.

Ettore came with a grunt, head dipping down to bite into the sensitive skin in the crux of your shoulder, teeth piercing the skin as you whimpered below him.

Hot ropes of his cum filled your walls, his thrusts stilling as you felt him throb within you, teeth still in your neck that he lapped at with his tongue, breathing hotly through his nose against the skin.

Another tear fell down your cheek as you lay beneath him, staring up at the cool, darkened grey of the ceiling. Pain and pleasure swirling around each other hotly in your core and gut, walls still fluttering around him from your own release.

You swallowed dryly, throat hoarse from where he choked you and wriggled beneath him, stirring his rest as he grunted into your neck, finally releasing the skin from his teeth. Small incisions and blooming bruise beginning to take its spot there, a dribble of blood leaking from where a crooked tooth pinched flesh between another.

He huffed above you as the world spun, slowly pulling out of you. You whimpered and half whined, feeling sensitive. Stinging pain and pleasure winding its way around your entrance.

Too much.

Ettore sat back on his haunches, cock softening in front of him as he looked down at you, fully naked. Your eyes roamed his body, muscular and lean all in one, watching you with lust filled eyes and hatred.

Another tear dripped down your cheek as his eyes roamed down your body, to the torn shorts he had ripped to the side, watching as his spend leaked out of you. His hand shot out, scooping fingers through your folds as you hissed, playing with his cum and smearing it into your folds and along your thighs.

Your heart pounded in your chest, nausea turning painfully in your stomach as he moved to loom over you, looking down at your tear streaked cheeks and the blood on your split lip, bits of his saliva dried on your face from where he had spat on you.

His lips pulled into a smirk, sticky fingers coming to smear themselves on your cheek as he pulled your shorts back into place, adjusting you roughly beneath him.

“Wasn’t too quick for you I hope.” He mocked, giving your face a rough tap before he stood, pulling on his pants and shirt as he looked down at you, chest heaving as you cried quietly, adrenaline pumping through you.

His eyebrows lifted on his face, grinning once he was dressed, grabbing your face in his hand and shaking it as he cooed at you.

“Good girl.” Another tap.

He left without another word, leaving you strapped to your bed, body aching and bruised as his cum leaked out of you, pooling wetly into the crotch of your shorts. You could still feel him inside you, thrusting atop you, his breath fanned in your ears.

You sucked in a steeling breath, shaking in the restraints, skin raw and bleeding in some places where you tugged too hard, pulled too violently as you shook beneath him, pleasure exploding within.

You didn't drift back to sleep, no matter how hard you tried, the sedative had worn off and adrenaline kept you alert.

You simply laid in your bunk, in your cell, surrounded by people who were none the wiser to your attack, sleeping soundly in their own restrained cots as your eyes stayed to the doorway, waiting for him to return.

Knowing that he would.

And not minding it either.

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to any tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3

Taglist: @hiraethrhapsody @hogwarts1207 @notnormalthings-blog @iamavailablesstuff @youraverageaemondsimp @mochi-rose @bel-bottoms @sassypain @triscy @watercolorskyy @moonliightbabes @toodlesxcuddles @avataranne @tosiaf @bunnychuu @malfoytargaryen @tssf-imagines @qyburnsghost

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yourheart-inmyhands · 8 months

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Hiya! I'm happy that You enjoyed my idea! And I realy liked how you wrote it! Especialy the Furina part :D

I'm not sure if you are okay with writing this, but if you are: Which of the Genshin characters would handled their lovers death the worst?

- 🐶 anon

oooo this one was really good! i couldn't pick just one so i did five little short ones! I hope you enjoy :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including lots of talk about death, delusional behavior, childish temper tantrums, making puppets of reader, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Furina would throw an absolute fit, upset at the idea of you dying on her, of you leaving her. She has to be pulled away from your corpse by Neuvillette because she’s screaming as she shakes it in a panicked manner. She’s desperate for you to wake up, screaming and crying as she tries to convince herself that you aren’t really dead. That you haven’t left her. She has to take a leave of absence from the court for a while, grief is a difficult thing and she doesn’t handle it well.

Yandere!Raiden would be enraged. You promised to spend eternity with her, and now you were trying to back out of it? She won’t let you. She does everything in her power to bring you back, from creating a puppet of you to trapping your soul in the Plane of Euthymia. Nothing is right though, the puppet doesn’t feel the way you used to, it doesn’t behave like it should. Your soul isn’t any better, it can only replay strong memories from when you were alive, leaving Raiden feeling like she’s talking to a movie. She destroys the puppet and hides your soul away in a far corner of the Plane, though she feels equally as awful afterwards.

Yandere!Wanderer is distraught when he loses you, he had lost so many before and yet, this one hurt the most. He sits on the outskirts of Sumeru City for a while, remaining stock still on a bench as he just feels. While he seems composed on the outside, on the inside he’s in pure agony. He doesn’t want to think or feel or move or do anything at all because everything just reminds him of you. It takes months for him to move from the bench, sitting there day in and day out despite the weather, and when he does move it’s only to sit in front of your grave. There he sits for another month, just staring at the name that once belonged to his loved one, now passed. The lover who left him, just like everyone else did.

Yandere!Xiao blames himself for your death, whether it's an accident, intentional, or simply of something you couldn’t stop like aging or sickness, Xiao will think it’s his fault. It’s always his fault, everything was because he wasn’t strong enough to protect you. The next year is spent with Xiao hardly being seen by anyone, not even food could lure him out. He spends all his time fighting, killing anything and everything in sight that deserves it as he tries to let the burn of his karmic debt distract from the ache in his heart. He refuses to visit your grave, making Zhongli bury you and not even attending your funeral. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he can’t bring himself to attend. He thinks he’s the reason you’re dead and he didn’t think you’d want him in attendance. He spends the rest of his life span thinking you died hating him, blaming him.

Yandere!Diluc is unsure of how to feel when you pass. He’d felt the pain of losing his father, and while he’s not dead, Diluc had lost his brother for many years in a way. But your death was different, it didn’t make him so upset he was driven to violence like his father, but rather made him want to simply lay there and cry. He spent a week straight just in bed after your funeral, hands idly tracing over the side of the bed you once slept on. He keeps everything exactly how you left it, never touching a thing incase one day, somehow, you came back to him. He wanted you to know that he loved you so much that he left everything just how you liked it.

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charmedreincarnation · 8 months

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Hey I’ve read a little about the law and I kind of don’t care about it. I’ve manifested well without it and honestly it just seems like an over complication so I can still get into the void without using it, because most people do, but everyone on tumblr seems to disagree with that sentiment

Funny story, I actually shifted before I even properly leaned about the law.

I remember this one girl on Reddit who was a very popular shifter told everyone that the key to shifting was the law of assumption and Neville Goddard lectures. She shifted to Harry Potter after understanding his lectures and it only took her only a week after being on her journey for two years.

At this point, I was sooo depressed and down bad to shift. I had tried every single method under the sun on Reddit, Quora, amino, YouTube, and others methods derived from religion….so her telling me this man was my key was an absolute dream. Again I was down bad, so atp I would have eaten cow shit if that’s what it took to shift 😭😭 it is maddening thinking about how depressed and obsessed I was with it but whatever I’m up now.

Anyways I still never really got into the law because it was boring and his lectures made me fall asleep at the time. I was like 17 and didn’t really care how or why shifting worked, I just wanted to escape tbh. Anyways I decided to actually take the law seriously but then the creator who introduced me to the law left Reddit and shifting media because she believed she was mentally ill, and shifting was fake and she had to get therapy.

I remember I hated Neville and the law of assumption after that so I dropped it, which is super funny to me because why was I blaming a dead man for this situation. I avoided it with my life and anytime someone recommended it to me I got unhealthily mad and told them to shut up probably idk. I was 17 and depressed and in a really bad place and that situation just made me spiral beyond anything and ruined my mental health.

Anyways I focused on manifesting better mental health and a better life after that,and shifted my attention to just intention which is literally the everything inside an assumption. I ended up shifting obviously and then I dove into the law out of curiosity because after I did it I just wanted to know.. I guess the logistics behind it because it was a cool phenomenon to me.

But this wasn’t until 6 months after I shifted and now.. well I obviously love the law and understand it and have a blog dedicated to it so I obviously use and recommend it!

What I will say is everything we learn with the law, 3D and 4D, dwelling in imaginations, states, affirm and persist, the ego, I am state, persistence, you know all that good jazz that I even talk about, is simply because we wanna learn and understand it properly. If you don’t want to use the law or whatever that’s fine but understanding assumption creates reality is the bases of everything.

Just understand that and it’s literally the same thing without all the other stuff lol. I guess that’s why I love intention! it’s the premise of everything we do. Intending, wanting, desiring, whatever and then assuming it to be true is so simple and it works. At least that’s how I shifted anyways. Regardless you use the law even if you’re not aware of it, and there are people entering the void, manifesting, and shifting without knowing the law so why would that be different for you?

So if you wanna use the void (which is literally within you, so hating it means hating your pure state of consciousness which is weird)why would the discussion about it even matter unless you assume it does anyways. Idk my perception around it is completely different since I have met a lot of people with experiences with the void (like my church friend who died) but not the way the tumblr girlies use it. It’s valid regardless!

Literally just assume whatever benefits you and resonates with you will work and it will work, point blank periodt.

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #void state #reality shifting

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bigtittiecomitte · 7 months

Text

DEFENDING UZI DOORMAN BC SHE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS!!!

I had the unfortunate idea to go on Tiktok and look at Murder Drones stuff and grrrrrr Uzi Doorman hate not allowed Uzi Doorman haters DNI 😡

“She turned into a pick me”

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🗣🗣🗣

Just bc she’s not super edgy like she was in the pilot doesn’t mean she’s a pick me. In fact I’d say she hasn’t rlly changed, the only thing that changed was that she’s more comfortable being around others 💀

In fact everyone would hate Uzi if she stayed like her pilot self, she would be hated like hell for being rude to N so honestly I’m just confused now

“She stole V’s man!”

WHAT HAPPENED TO N BEING HIS OWN PERSON???

N was never V’s to begin with, I didn’t see them being all buddy buddy in the series unless you count them in the mansion but we still have no idea what their relationship was like in the past so we can’t just be pointing out who N’s is

Also this fandom has a weird thing for babying N, he’s literally getting shipped with everyone and no one focuses on him when it’s a ship war

“It’s Uzi’s fault that V is dead!”

Are people forgetting that Uzi is a victim too??

BLAME THAT MF ABSOLUTE SOLVER INSTEAD

Everyone would’ve been happy, would’ve lived happy lives if that bitchass abomination called the absolute solver decided to piss off but noooooo blame the girl who was lying on the floor, her insides probably turning organic or something instead bc grrrr she stole N from her

“Uzi is cringe”

SHE’S CRINGE BUT SHE’S FREEEEEEEEEE

Anyways that’s all for defending Uzi Doorman she did nothing wrong

Me when Uzi Doorman from the hit show dron kil

Me when Uzi haters 😡😡😡😡

#murder drones #uzi doorman #Uzi denfender ofr life

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r-f-m-writes · 20 days

Text

Pretty, Dead Animals Chapter One

The shimmering shift of tattoos over refined tendons of muscle made Linette feel like she was being hypnotized as she swept the man's card through the slot on the side of the machine, not even glancing at the amount due.

“Your boss ’s sick, so he leaves a little girl alone to deal with grown men all day? More of a shmuck than I thought.”

The genuine ebb of concern in his tone made Linette’s knees feel wobbly as she handed the card back.

The tip of his index finger brushed against the soft underside of her wrist as he took it from her.

“I can take care of myself.”

When he scoffed at her it wasn’t unkind so much as disbelieving.

"Yeah, kid. I’m sure you think you can.”

Linette’s stomach was swooping itself into hot, excited knots as she stood fixing her hair in the spotty restroom mirror, yanking brown waves out of the claw clip and fluffing out her roots before arranging the tangled mess over her shoulders in a way the looked half presentable.

It had been scorching hot the night before, she’d barely slept. Her under eyes were sunken and blue tinged, she felt groggy and deflated - the clothes she wore had been grabbed thoughtlessly off the top of the clean washing hamper.

Linette didn’t look good, at all, and he had just pulled his black Semi into the truck stop.

He, who had an American accent, a full sleeve of brooding black ink tattoos, and a defined five o'clock shadow that made something primal inside her purr.

He, who had blue eyes, brown hair, and a permanent scowl that etched itself into the center of all her silly, girlish fantasies for the last four months.

He, whose name Linette didn’t know, was mysterious and new and scary in a way that thrilled her from the inside out.

Who could blame a girl for craving something fresh in the monotonous nothingness that came with life in a desert town hours away from anything important?

The shrill ting ting ting of the little ringer at the counter being hit impatiently three times snapped Linette out of her fussing, the girl giving her hair one last pass over in the mirror as she called out.

“Coming!”

The door to the bathroom bumped heavily as Linette hurried out, pretending to dry her hands on the front of her singlet. Blush stung inside her cheeks as she walked toward the counter.

A grunt and the sound of heavy boots shifting on the floor came before his voice.

“Sorry, kid. Thought it was the old fella on today.”

The nickname heated her up. She almost fell over her own feet when the rubber soles of her sneakers caught on the slippery tiles. When she cleared her throat to speak, her voice came out in mumbles.

“ ‘s all good. Ben’s off sick, I’ve been holding down the Servo for him. Pump five?”

Linette lifted her head to look him right in the eye, acting braver than she felt.

He was wearing a cap, gray, with the name of some sports team she didn’t recognize embroidered on the front. His buzz cut had grown out since last time he was at the stop, five o'clock shadow turning into a real beard, all filled out, thick and dark with no irregular patches.

That was how Linette knew he must be older, much older, than her. Boys her age who were trying to grow out their first beards always looked scraggly and gross, like they’d cut off their pubes and glued them to their face in uneven clumps. His beard was nothing like that. He was nothing like that.

Everything about him was mature and distinguished, polished in a finish of radiant masculinity that made Linette want to sink into a dependent puddle at his feet.

Even his mesh of black tattoos looked classic, and tattoos were something that, right up until seeing him for the first time, Linette had absolutely hated; taking them as a red flag of insecurity and a person’s incomplete sense of self.

On him, they looked downright lickable.

Him being the most beautiful man she’d ever seen outside of a TV screen certainly helped compel her intense attraction - but, for Linette, his voice was the nail in the coffin. Low, slow, smooth and rumbling, tinged with an accent she didn’t know how to place. She wanted to listen to him talk for hours.

The spot between his eyebrows pinched as he stooped to lean his elbow on the counter. The cut off black teeshirt he wore looked like it was fighting to stay together around the bulge of his bicep as it flexed while he held out his card for her to take.

The shimmering shift of his tattoos over refined tendons of muscle made Linette feel like she was being hypnotized as she swept his card through the slot on the side of the machine without so much as glancing at the amount due.

The payment was approved immediately.

“He’s sick, so he leaves a little girl alone to deal with grown men all day? More of a shmuck than I thought.”

The genuine ebb of disapproval and concern in his tone made Linette’s knees feel soft as she handed him back his card over the counter.

The tip of his index finger caught off the underside of her wrist as he took it from her.

Linette had to lock her shoulders back to keep herself from shuddering.

Her voice was embarrassed and quiet in her throat when she replied. “I’m twenty one. I can take care of myself.”

When he scoffed at her it wasn’t unkind so much as disbelieving.

“Yeah, I’m sure you think you can. You got anything behind the counter? Pepper spray? A gun?”

He slotted his card back into a neat, folding leather wallet as he questioned her. Linette watched the deft flick of his thick fingers and suddenly her mouth felt dry.

“Nope. Have a panic button, though.”

Pushing the wallet back into the front pocket of his dark wash jeans, he let out a short, humorless huff.

“Panic button. Shit. What‘re you supposed to do between pressing that an’ waitin’ for the cops to pull up? Just gonna stand there, smile all pretty, hope some guy my size doesn't try to rob the place or do what he likes with you?”

Linette was struck silent by the question. She had wondered the same herself countless times, but never came to any sound, practical solution other than doing exactly what he had said; standing still and hoping nothing bad happened to her in specific.

She shrugged hopelessly.

He looked at her. It was a long, strange stare that Linette didn’t know how to understand.

Eventually, he shook his head and sighed.

“What am I gonna do with you, kid?”

#original male character #original character #original female character #original novel #ao3 original work #ao3 writer #ao3feed #dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic #prettydeadanimals #pda #PDA

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the-owl-house-takes · 8 months

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I absolutely hate the argument that Luz can be excused for her actions and people have no right to dislike her just because she’s neurodivergent. I struggled immensely in school both academically and socially in large to my own “neurodivergence”-can I just say I hate that word-but I was never so stupid as to think about bringing live animals and fireworks inside my school. The fact that Luz, the 14-year-old daughter of a veterinarian, saw a bunch of living, breathing animals and thought-‘yeah, I’m gonna use those as props! My book report is gonna be so cool! I surely can’t just use rubber snakes!’ Which probably why they were so damn aggressive! Because snakes only really bite and attack when they’re threatened, or stressed, or pissed off! Which really does not paint Luz as being a very caring or thoughtful person!

“But that’s the point! She needs to get better and she does!”-No she absolutely fucking does not. Instead of realizing that she can’t just run away and live in fantasy-land, the show again and again reaffirms that Luz can do no wrong, everybody else never should’ve felt angry about her reckless idiocy-because that’s what it is, idiocy-she gets to live out her little fantasy world and do whatever she wants. The way the show acts like the principal giving the summer camp pamphlet was some horrible evil thing, how could anyone do that? B I T CH LUZ IS FUCKING LUCKY that she weren’t expelled or arrested! She brought EXPLOSIVES WITH THE INTENT OF SETTING THEM OFF INSIDE A SCHOOL BUILDING. In an area of mass shoring fears and schools prohibiting anything can looks like or emulates(even if it is just a foam sword or something), Luz really should’ve just taken two seconds to think to at least leave the fireworks. Course at 14 I would think that a person who have the common sense for that to never be a thought.

And no, “neurodivergence” is not an excuse. It pains me when characters in media doing stupid shit and senseless(especially when it gets on the audience’s nerves) gets pinned on having autism or ADHD like it makes it okay, and that the character can’t be blamed or held accountable for it. Why do people hold those with these conditions to such low standards? When this happens, it feels like people are saying, “Yeah, this could’ve easily caused grievous bodily harm or death but they’ve got anxiety and autism, so we can’t be mad, they couldn’t possibly know better because they’re simply not on our level, they’re too stupid to understand!” Hell no. Stop giving excuses! The “I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor” attitude does not work in court!

And maybe if they understood this and actually challenged Luz on being very episodic on learning her lessons and that she did in fact run away to avoid consequences of her actions and reality won’t bend to her interests and she can’t treat everything like it’s a fanfiction instead of beating the dead horse with another dead horse about how Luz ““““helped”””” Belos when all she did was teach him one glyph and got used as bait by someone who she KNOWS tricked her. By that logic Lilith is just as responsible for Belos meeting the Collector as Luz is. Yeah she’s 14 but did it really have to stretch through the entirety of season 3?

Because season 3 is where I officially knew that Luz hadn’t learned a thing. The way the show frames the art teacher giving Luz the side eye like it’s wrong for her to distrust the kid who used the art supplies-that she probably paid out of pocket for-to infest the school with spiders and snakes and then would’ve blown it up if she hadn’t gotten sent to the principal’s office is so out of pocket. She has every right to view Luz with suspicion! People don’t tend to like others who make a mess in their areas with their stuff, shocker. I’ve already said a bit about the summer camp thing, but seriously, a summer camp that teaches teens about mortgages, how to manage a bank account and checkbook, do taxes, etc is literally the best thing Luz could’ve gotten out of that situation. She would’ve learned something many people complain wasn’t taught to them at a young age AND would’ve met people who she could easily befriended. Yeah, it’s boring and Luz probably would’ve checked out of the situation but it’s better than juvie! Also boring stuff is apart of life, it’s part of the way we can live the way we do because everything is easier said than done. Also with Camila, it’s a dumb retcon to have her not understand anime or Luz’s interests in Season 1 and 2 but a secret nerd who just got put down by the man in season 3. Like, Camila had to make a change with Luz, because 14 is not far from 18, and if Luz did do something stupid that ended up being a crime, she could very well be charged as an adult.

Then the whole ‘I just wanna be understood!’ Luz, honey, you’ve been surrounded by people who understand you and don’t get mad when you mess up, even if it’s spectacularly. Your girlfriend literally immediately told you she essentially wanted to spend the rest of her life by your side right after you got revealed as a liar which you promised you wouldn’t do anymore. Your best buds have always been on your side even when you’ve gone behind their backs. Your mom was sending you to that camp bc she had too, even though she originally believed it would expose you to kids with similar interests that could be befriended. And again, her hands were tied, because you were being reckless to the point of danger. But oh wait, it’s all okay now because you’re ‘understood’.

Not finding that happy balance where you can express yourself but not act like an idiot or endanger yourself and others, just some vague ‘understanding’ by an anonymous ‘them’. Do you mean everyone, all the time has to understand you the way Camila, Eda, King, Willow, Gus, Amity and Hunter do? Because that’s not how real life works.

And this isn’t a character hate-though I do hate the way Luz was finished-this is on the writers for not going through with the themes of Fantasy Vs. Reality they had going that could’ve taught Luz that balance and management; which in my personal opinion, would’ve been a better arc for a person with ADHD.

#the owl house #toh #character hate #toh critical #long post #I know anon said that this isn’t character hate #but cmon….

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ashintheairlikesnow · 2 months

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I am LIVING for the Chris reblogs. He truly is one of my favorite whumpees of all time. You have mastered the art of a subtle “perfect victim” with him. I may be dead wrong but realistically, what has he done that was even controversial through his whole storyline, you know what I mean? Like just as a few examples of your wonderfully written Not Perfect victims and (this isn’t to victim blame or shame at all,) Jameson did sign up for WRU, his and Kauri’s recoveries were FAR from smooth or perfect, and don’t even get me started on Antoni, yikes! Even Nat, who is doing the lords work now, has a shady past! But Chris genuinely perfect. Even the things he thought were his fault weren’t. And like I said it’s not his main character trait is being THE perfect victim, it’s one of those things that was nicely left not outright said, and for the readers to use critically thinking and I LOVE IT. I think that’s a really difficult feat to pull off and you did a fantastic job.

Also like I said I may be dead wrong but I genuinely can’t think of one true misdemeanor committed by Chris.

Having said all of that I also love all of the character flaws you bestow upon the rest of the gang! Either them being fucked up before, or the aftermath of all of the traumatic experiences leaving them fucked up and with significantly poorer judgements that lead to them getting in situations they maybe would not have if it wasn’t for having a new and definitely not improved way of thinking! Okay, yap over. Keep up the great work!!

So this is kind of an interesting thing for me, because I really do try as much as I can to steer away from that "perfect victim" archetype, but Chris kind of fell into it despite how hard I tried not to have him do that.

His basic disposition was always going to be a sweet kid who had been absolutely tortured and who had nonetheless come out of it with a resilience that would allow him to start rebuilding from that shattered foundation.

Unfortunately, it does mean that he didn't end up with a lot of the more kind of exciting to write and interesting faults and imperfections and occasionally outright malevolence that I have in other characters who are not bad guys, they're just people who had to do bad things to survive horrifying situations.

But of course, the biggest impact there as far as Chris's story is that he never saved himself. He didn't do anything against his own moral code to escape. He was saved by a woman who realized what she was looking at, driven several hours in the middle of the night by a man he'd never met before, and dropped on the doorstep of a whole new group of strangers he had no idea whether or not he could trust.

So Chris does hit that damsel in distress archetype in a way that I don't normally like to go for in main characters. But he really insisted on it, and I think there's this thing about archetypes where we see them so often that we get kind of tired of them, but one of the reasons we do see them so often is because they resonate. And there really are people like that in the world, not everybody of course.. probably not even most people put in the same situation would react the way that he reacted to things. But people do.

And what Chris did to survive was pull back inside of himself so thoroughly that when he started to come out of his shell, all the basic goodness in him was more or less intact and untouched. They could destroy so much of him, but they could never make him anything less than inherently a good kid in a bad situation.

If you were to ask chris, he would probably tell you that the biggest character flaw in him is cowardice, because even as an adult he doesn't really fully understand why he has the freeze and fawn, and hates himself a little for never having been able to fight in any real way. He would call himself a coward, not just for not fighting back but also for the times he's been too afraid, like when he walked away from Rafael the first time they met. That he was able to screw up the courage in the museum to talk to him then was an enormous feat of bravery for Chris. He was absolutely wrecked for days afterward. It took everything he had in him to do it.

#chris asks

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ephemeral--dreams · 11 months

Text

take it & put it inside of me (2/2)

Scaramouche/Reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1564

Warnings: Some references to what happened in part one but no violence in this one

Notes: Fucking around and finding out with the genshin lore

( part 1 )

☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────

Sifting through the information contained within irminsul comes with all manner of temptations and distractions.

It's not what he's here for, but he can't help prying a little. Who can blame him for his curiosity? You're an enigma that he can't pry apart, and here lies the chance to unravel the mystery. Just a peek. A detour, just to investigate you.

It's only the briefest of explorations. Scaramouche must return to seeking the information he's here to get. But he takes what little he finds and keeps it inside.

☆-

Getting his own memories back undoes what he did. Slowly, his existence returns to irminsul, memories of him seeping back into the world. And when they do, you eventually seek him out.

Sumeru is so full of life. To see someone as lifeless as you standing in such a vibrant place feels wrong. You were more suited to the cold, dead environment of inazuma. Yet regardless, here you were.

"It's been a while. What, missed me too much to go on without me?"

"I was hardly going to hand myself over to be anyone else's outlet," You gaze at him assessingly. He can't quite read your expression. Never has he been able to. You linger on his vision before meeting his eyes again. "You look different."

"Well, I am different. Things happened. Life goes on. I'm never going back to Snezhnaya, before you ask."

"Where does that leave me?"

He waves a hand. "Do what you want… I guess I wouldn't complain about having you around again."

It's as much of an invitation as you would ever get from someone like him.

"Then I suppose I'll stay for now."

And so it is.

He lets you stay with him. You don't have anywhere else to go. Just by being here you've gone against the Tsaritsa. How foolish, that you've dropped everything just for a man who has only ever used you. Then again, that was exactly what you'd asked him to do.

Not that he is even doing that, as things are.

There really is something fundamentally different about Scaramouche. His words hold less bite, his teasing is more playful than harsh, but most of all… He's far less angry than he used to be. He hasn't raised a hand against you since you reunited.

It's odd.

In many ways it's a good thing. It's good, that he has grown, that he has changed. But it leaves you with this insistent, unscratched itch deep inside, one that hasn't been sated since the day he disappeared from the Fatui.

You figure there is little you can do but wait and see. It's not the way it used to be, where a few well-placed words would provoke him. Your silver tongue is used for only two things - to keep people at a distance, or to lure them into playing into your hands. It is only able to do one of those things, to him, as he is.

And it's not as if you're going to walk up and beg him to hurt you. That isn't the way it works between you. Not to mention how absolutely pitiful it would be to do so.

You are a boat set adrift in too-calm waters. It's somehow worse than the storm.

A couple of weeks in, the dendro archon visits. Scaramouche seems irritated when he sees her at the door, but lets her inside nonetheless.

Nahida is… very different than your former archon. Not in a bad way. It's pleasant enough talking to her. She doesn't seem at all surprised that you are there, but considering who she is, it makes sense that she knows already.

It's not until she stops in front of you before leaving, eyes suddenly sharp, that you feel uneasy.

Her small hands hold one of yours. Her touch is careful in a way you're not used to. "You hate yourself so much. Is that why you think you should be hurt?"

The bluntness, the unexpectedness of the words sends you reeling. You've made yourself so hard to read, created so many layers of distance between you and everyone else. You suppose if anyone would be able to pick you apart it would be the archon of wisdom. Still, to do it in front of him-

"That's not relevant," you say, voice more unstable than you'd like for it to be.

"I think it's quite relevant. Perhaps not to me, but to the two of you," someone who looks that young should not be this perceptive. "That's not for me to decide, though. Welcome to Sumeru. You're free to stay as long as you wish."

And then she's gone, and you find yourself avoiding the eyes of the only other person left in the room. You can feel him staring at you, like he's trying to figure you out. And now he's been given the information he needs to do it, too.

☆-

He wants to be mad at Buer for meddling in his affairs, but for once he cannot bring himself to be. Not when he's been handed what he wants on a silver platter.

He's had quite a while to think. Months to ponder on you, on the way he felt, on all your enigmas. The last pieces settle into place after Nahida's words. Yes, he has had more than enough time to come to terms with his own feelings.

Making you confront yours, on the other hand…

There's something purposeful in the way he moves forward. Scaramouche has never once been gentle with you. Or anyone, really. Yet the intensity of his gaze as he observes you is almost off-putting with how softly he reaches out to touch you.

Your eyes are blown wide, like you're ready to bolt at a moment's notice. Not that he would let you escape his grasp. Not now.

Not ever.

The kiss, too, lacks the sharp edge of teeth the both of you are used to. He can feel you jerk against him, the movement slight but noticeable with how close he is.

There's a part of him that wants to tear you apart right then and there, now that he's got you vulnerable. Instead, he pulls away to meet your eyes again. He's already made such a mess of you, and he's far from done. He's never once seen you this off-kilter or reactive.

"What are you…" You trail off, like you can't quite gather your words together when he's behaving this way. "This isn't…"

"You're still mine, aren't you? You gave yourself to me so that I could treat you however I wanted to. Well, what I want right now is this."

He leans in to brush his lips across yours again, gentler than he had any right to be. You shudder as if you're about to shatter apart, tears pricking at your eyes, as if being loved is somehow worse torture than anything else he'd ever done to you. There's something almost cruel in the delicate way he handles you, ripping down each one of those carefully crafted walls that had kept him out for so long like they're nothing but paper.

It's satisfying to finally get a reaction out of you, to feel like he finally understands.

(Scaramouche amends his former statement. You're not like the gods. You're like him, he thinks - so starved for anything like love that you have no idea what to do when you receive it. Trying to escape the need for it altogether. And in the end, failing entirely to run from it.)

He keeps you there for long minutes. He doesn't particularly need air, being what he is, but you do. It's the only reason he finally moves back.

You gasp for breath, still shaking. A slow smile curves his lips.

"Red is a nice color on you. Let's make it happen more often."

"Don't-" you huff out, unable to look at him. The flush deepens. He smiles wider. "Don't say things like that."

He scoffs. "That only makes me want to do it more, you know."

"This isn't how things are supposed to go."

"It's how they go now. You're not exactly running for the door, are you?" The way you stay is all too telling. You can't resist him and more than he can resist you, even now. "Didn't think so. Want to tell me what fucked you up this much, or am I going to have to pick you apart for another few years for that?"

"That's hardly your concern," there's that familiar iciness to your tone, trying to keep him from prying. It doesn't work as easily as it used to. You're trying to put back all the defenses he just broke down… But he'll let it be. Scaramouche has gotten what he wanted for today. He will have forever to figure out the rest. He has never once backed down from a challenge.

Sooner or later, he will know all of your mysteries.

"Sure it's not. I'll put it this way, then. Since your so difficult. If I'm forgiven despite everything, then you can't reasonably say you don't deserve the same," he leaves little room for argument. "Well, it doesn't matter to me either way. You can even consider it punishment that you're stuck here with me."

Perhaps, in piecing you together, he can do the same to himself.

#genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin x reader #story unfolding

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lostfracturess · 5 days

Note

"You're really pathetic, you know that?" she spat. "You talk about caring, but in the end you threw everything away. Because you are too terrified to let yourself love me. Because apparently your own damn peace is worth more than me." SHUT UP YOU KNOW NOTHING???? SHE'S BASICALLY VOICING YOUR THOUGHTS GOJO 😭😭😭😭 why is he so pathetic 😭

"Don't you dare tell me to shut up," she snapped back, her voice rising. "You don't get to play the victim here. You did this. You ruined everything." my beautiful strong girl i love you so much and i fucking know how bad and destroyed she feels at the moment, betrayed and broken 😭😭😭

"But I also wanted nothing more than to fuck that attitude out of her right then and there" nuh uh use your fucking mouth for purpose for once in your life or i swear to god gojo-

"Perhaps I was only meant to love her in silence" yeah like you're able to keep your hands to yourself when it comes to her

He sighed. "You're the absolute worst patient ever." THAT'S SO FUNNY 😭😭

"I want you to take her with you," I said quietly. "She likes aneurysm clippings." such a romantic ❤️

"Every day, it felt more like I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. Letting her go, pushing her away, I—" FINALLY! FINALLY A DECENT THOUGHT! YES SATORU WE ARE ON A RIGHT WAY

"Finally, gasping for breath, I stumbled to a halt outside her apartment building" HOORAY FINALLY LET'S GOOOO

"She sat on the windowsill, book in hand. My future wife. Even in the dead of night, she was studying. How I loved her" my future wife??? i am sorry???? WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THIS HEART WRENCHING STUFF???? i knew it would end like this gojo.

"She was staring down — right at me" is this a Shakespeare's scene or what 😭😭😭 romeo and juliet 😭😭😭

"Don't give me that look. You know damn well you deserved it." i love her so fucking much gojo you better apologize on your knees or she will be taken.

"Save it," she spat. "You know what your fucking problem is? You can't stand being alone. Alone with your thoughts, with yourself. So you run. You run to pills, to whatever distraction you can find, anything to fill the void." the way she's exposing him EVERY TIME.....she knows him so well and loves so much it hurts

"Keep going," I insisted, moving closer. "Let it out. Yell at me, tell me how pathetic I am. Make me feel something, anything other than this damn emptiness." gojo i love you so much but please don't act as you're not the one to blame for this emptiness 😭😭

"Because it was prove she still cared, even if it was just to hate me with every fiber of her being. It was better than the void, that terrible chasm that had opened up between us after I'd pushed her away" the way he craves every emotion from her and validates it, i think at this point there's nothing wrong she could do in his eyes😭😭😭 he just can't be without her

"You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that?" I leaned closer, my mouth close to her ear. "You hate who I am, but you crave this, don't you? Giving up control, being at my mercy. Admit it." NO PLEASE PLEASE IT'S HOT VERY HOT BUT I AM BEGGING YOU TO COMMUNICATE 😭😭😭😭 IF THEY WON'T TALK AGAIN AFTER IT I THROW MYSELF DOWN FROM THE CLIFF

"You really are a fool, for wanting to fix something so broken it'll cut you to shreds the moment you get close and then you cry afterwards—" why does he think he can say such a thing 🤨🤨🤨 is he immortal or what, and here i thought he really would be apologising

"My future wife just spit in my face — what a good anecdote on our wedding day" dummy 😭😭

"Weren't together anymore after all" EXCUSE ME??? YOU'RE DEEP INSIDE HER, ALREADY PLANNED YOUR WEDDING DAY, AND NOW SAYING YOU'RE NOT TOGETHER.... he's driving me insane

"Without warning, she reached forward, gripping my throat with surprising strength as she leaned down, her hair falling like a curtain around our faces. I couldn't help but smile" that's SO HOT 😭

"My lips twisted into a smile again. "Admit it. You love the chaos as much as I do. The thrill, the way it makes you feel alive." actually i don't feel this way 🧐🧐🧐 she seems very composed yet she's reckless but not to that case, i feel like she might be up to something, but not to the extent of satoru

"Why else would you be here, like this, with me?" I countered. "Face it, we're addicted to each other—the highs, the lows, the constant push and pull. It's exhilarating, isn't it?" and that's true 😭

"It's alright, I love you enough for both of us." my knees are weak 😩

this whole scene made me feel Something ™ the the tension, their exposed emotions, their... everything 😭😭😭 finally he gets choked too

but his messy head??? one time he's calling her his wife and then saying we're not together anymore...i feel so confused, WHAT is he thinking 😭😭 gojo get a therapist i swear 🙏🙏🙏

the scene in his office's bathroom is definitely one of my favourite, so beautifully and thoroughly crafted, you're really a master 😭😭😭 just i thought the writing couldn't be better you amaze me!!!

thank you again for the chapter, sending you a lot of love and inspiration, have a nice nice vacation!!!!!

hello and welcome to part three !!

SHUT UP YOU KNOW NOTHING???? SHE'S BASICALLY VOICING YOUR THOUGHTS GOJO 😭😭😭😭 why is he so pathetic 😭

gojo panicked pretty quickly there as she was lying bare his worst behaviors traits haha !!

nuh uh use your fucking mouth for purpose for once in your life or i swear to god gojo-

gojo logic be like, can i silence her with a kiss? no? ehhhem then ... probably fuck her to silence her?? also no?? ehhemmem then i'm out of options 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

such a romantic ❤️

the romantic doctor we all need hehe. but also i think this is such a cute thing of him?? like okay this girl hates me like crazy right now, but she would love to do this insane surgery, so i'll talk suguru into it so that she would have something to be happy about again 😭😭

my future wife??? i am sorry???? WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THIS HEART WRENCHING STUFF???? i knew it would end like this gojo.

he's in heavy denial 😂😂😂

the way she's exposing him EVERY TIME.....she knows him so well and loves so much it hurts

she really is like, okay you fucker, you want to got there again?? then let me tell you how stupid you are, i'm not getting tired of this 😂😂 but yeah, she really sees through his crap and all that and wants to make him see it too.

the way he craves every emotion from her and validates it, i think at this point there's nothing wrong she could do in his eyes😭😭😭 he just can't be without her

he's a SIMP !! and you're right, there is really nothing she could do that would make him not love her 💔😭

NO PLEASE PLEASE IT'S HOT VERY HOT BUT I AM BEGGING YOU TO COMMUNICATE 😭😭

idk i just love how they are insulting each other at this point, like they're both insane 😂😂

it's really just a defense mechanism of him, but yes, he was really into the moment lol, and probably overdoing it A LITTLE BIT 😩😩

he definitely senes something from her but no omg she's never on the same level as gojo, that would be wild 😂😂 but she definitely changed a bit while being with him.

this whole scene made me feel Something ™ the the tension, their exposed emotions, their... everything 😭😭😭 finally he gets choked too

so glad it landed well for you !! i think i was expecting the scene to hit more, because i never wrote smut out of the male pov but apparently it did not so much for me but maybe it's just me being critical about myself again idk. anyway, glad you enjoyed !!

the scene in his office's bathroom is definitely one of my favourite

you mean when he overdosed? lol i actually envisioned this scene in his APARTMENT 😂😂 but apparently i never really wrote WHERE they are so it also makes sense for him to be in his office lol.

because in his apartment it would be clear that she comes to his home after the whole mess to check in on him or like talk or whatever and that would be sweet but also make it more heartbreaking for her to find him so lifeless and all, but apparently i fucked that up 😂😂😂😂

but really girl, reading your reactions to the chapter is really so funny for me !! thank you so so much for taking your time to do that, and thank you for your well-wishes. have a good day or night and a lovely week dear ❤️❤️

#inbox

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vaxxy-after-dark · 9 days

Text

Thinking about a world where Vax met the Briarwoods before he met Percy, maybe while on a job for The Clasp, and they had a one night stand with him.

They were surprisingly sweet and gentle, but also clearly supernatural and possessive.

Maybe they even tried to convince Vax to abandon his sister and The Clasp to join them? But Vax refused to.

He enjoyed the night he had spent with them, but he could never betray his sister like that.

And The Clasp would hunt him down if he just vanished, that and their deal with Vax would become void and put Vex in incredible danger. Vax just can't let that happen to her.

So they go their separate ways, but Vax never forgets them.

He often dreams of them, even years later, and he misses the way that they touched him.

The way that they spoke to him, whispering praise into his ear as they pulled moans from his mouth with little effort.

The threat of being bitten, sharp kisses teasing his sensitive skin as he squirmed.

He sometimes hopes to run into them randomly again, to steal another night with them.

Then Percy tells him and the others all about the people who came to visit Whitestone and launched a full-scale uprising.

He recognises the sketches Percy pulls out, the goatee and the fancy necklace and the smiles and the eyes and the poses and the bloody teeth.

He has a panic attack realising who they are, his mind reeling in horror over the thought that he not only slept with these people but had even - for just a second - considered running away with them to absolutely fuck knows where, probably the kingdom they took over.

He's utterly horrified.

When the others finally get Vax to calm down and breathe again, he shakily recalls how it was he had met the couple.

Percy is quiet for a moment, for too long a moment perhaps, before he apologises to Vax.

From then onwards, the two have clear tension between them that will only grow.

When the Briarwoods arrive for dinner in Emon and Vax sneaks off to their room to gather any evidence he can find, luck would have it that they end up leaving dinner early and catch poor Vax red handed in the act.

They immediately recognise him, Vax freezing in fear.

Delilah mourns the now-lost 'innocence' of their past affair, while her husband bemoans killing someone so 'sweet'.

Vax begs for mercy, vowing to betray Percy if they let him live - he would never, they know it as well as he does, but they couple give pause and listen.

"And, pray, why should we trust you, little thief?" Delilah would ask, smirking as she toys with emeralds draped from her neck as she looks Vax up and down.

Sylas would chuckle, "We have no ire against you, but your little friend is a pain in the neck that we must get rid of."

Then, scared and trying to get out of this alive, Vax proposes a redo of their past encounter.

The Briarwoods accept maybe a little too quickly for his liking.

When it's over and Vax leaves, alive and with some evidence, he can't help but hate himself.

He already kind of did before this, but he definitely does now and it burns him deep inside.

How he ever looks Percy in the eye again? He doesn't know.

Though he's pretty sure that Percy knows, if the random glares Percy throws his way for the next few weeks is anything to go by - Vax doesn't blame him one bit, he would do it too.

By the time the Briarwoods are dead, the tension between Vax and Percy is so thick you could cut it with one of Vax's knives.

Vax is, understandably, scared of the gunslinger at this point.

The man had been harbouring a demon inside of him all of this time and had almost killed all of them when said demon was unhappy about Percy failing to be the one to kill the Briarwoods in the end.

The fact that Vax had been momentarily charmed by the Briarwoods and forced to fight his friends hadn't helped things, now Percy can't look at Vax with glaring or growling.

Vax really doesn't blame him, but it makes him feel small.

His sister and Keyleth both try to help them sort out their feelings, but it just leads to Percy exploding in anger.

He accuses Vax of so many things, Vax feels dizzy and has another panic attack in reply.

It ends with Vex slapping Percy as Keyleth sits Vax down and helps him do some breathing exercises to calm down again.

But the damage is done.

After that night, the twins pack their things and leave once everyone else has gone to bed.

Vax never truly heals from his experiences, but Vex is there to look after him from now on.

#cw dub con #cw mind control #briarvax #vaxxy writes... something

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sluttypatrickstar · 1 year

Text

i have suffered. i have received unspeakable brain trauma. i have read sentences that i simply cannot unread. that's right, it's time for my chaotic review of verity by colleen hoover!

now i wrote an actual, proper review of this book that used paragraphs and real grammar, but this is tumblr. you're getting the bullet points, you're getting the sweary words, you're getting the dissolution of my sanity.

there's a lot of graphic and disturbing content in this book, so if you're bothered by that kind of thing, it might be best not to read.

the plot:

so our narrator, lowen ashleiggghghghg, is hired by this guy jeremy crawford to finish his wife verity's thriller book series bcus verity was in a car accident and is now profoundly disabled (can't move, can't talk, needs regular care, etc.)

she needs verity's notes and somehow ends up living in verity's house so she can spend literally all day going through verity's office. the only believable part of this is that a writer could be so disorganised that you'd need full days to try and go through all of their stuff

for some context, jeremy is apparently brooding (though i see like, 0 evidence of this) over his wife's accident as well as the deaths of his twin daughters chastin and harper

in verity's office, lowen finds a manuscript that looks like it's verity's autobiography

verity's autobiography starts as overly detailed jeremy smut and oh my fucking god i mean overly detailed i wish i could GOUGE my fucking EYES out this is just BAD PORN this book is like 90% porn 10% no-plot

anyway as this autobiography goes on, lowen is like. holy shit. verity is cuckoo bananas. she is OBSESSED with jeremy. she does that patrick star thing of "what do you when i'm at work all day?" "wait for you to get back :(". she wants to be jezza's ONLY focus and resents her daughters for taking his focus away

like, she tries to plan out her pregnancy so that she'll gain as little weight as possible, but then she finds out they're twins and she's like omg im RUINED and tries to miscarry and abort them

after they're born, she has a premonition of her daughter harper killing her other daughter, chastin (the only daughter she likes, verity fucking hates her kids but randomly starts loving chastin). chastin does in fact die of anaphylactic shock when she's around 8 and verity blames harper

jeremy won't fuck verity because he's so sad about his daughter's death, and verity is not having this, but through some twisted logic she's like maybe he'll be all out of grief if another daughter dies! so she kills harper and stages it as a canoe accident

back to lowen, she's reading this autobiography at an absolute snail's pace (like 1 short chapter a day) while also living with Hot Dad Jeremy (she's into him, especially after reading all that Jeremy Porn), this is most of the book tbh . a series of weird things happen that convince her that verity is faking her disability

lowen is also 100% convinced that verity is PURE FUCKING EVIL from this autobiography

fast forward, jeremy and lowen hook up (surprised pikachu face)

and yes, verity was faking being disabled, where is her OSCAR for that METHOD ACTING that fooled the HOSPITAL the NURSES for MONTHS!!! she didnt even flinch when lowen tried to startle her by literally throwing something across the room. daniel day-lewis is SHAKING

lowen shows jeremy the autobiography and jeremy starts choking verity

lowen is like, stop! they'll know u did it! think of ur son, he'll be fatherless!

actually you should kill him by making her puke instead so they'll think she just aspirated on her own vomit ;)

so jeremy does that instead because that's totally the most sensible option to do in this particular scenario

7 month timeskip and all is great because EVIL verity is DEAD and now lowen and jeremy can be together forever and they even have a new baby on the way bcus jeremy came inside her no condom and apparently every woman in this book is insanely fertile and gets pregnant on the first try

TWIST TIME!!!

they go back to verity and jeremy's house to finish clearing out their stuff

but... lowen finds a note in verity's room...

verity claims that the autobiography was just a writing example to help her write from an antagonistic perspective (her thriller series is notably written from the villain's POV)

jeremy found the autobiography and tried to choke verity to death, but when that failed, he set up her car accident, after which verity decided she had to fake being disabled so she could run away with their living son crew and eventually explain everything

but this plan is an F bcus shes fuckin dead now isnt she

so much effort and for WHAT

the book leaves us with the fucking stupid dry ass cliché question of: WHICH WAS THE REAL VERITY? WHAT WERE THE LIES? WAS THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY REAL OR NOT? and actually i dont give a flying fuck i was just glad to be done

my thoughts

the characters in the book make the most ridiculous and nonsensical decisions and trust me i can say that for sure bcus i have never made a good decision in my life

in the opening chapters, lowen witnesses a car accident & is splattered with blood on the way to her publisher meeting

she encounters jeremy (tho she doesnt know who he is yet) and he takes her to the men's bathroom of a coffee shop to get cleaned up

lowen tAKES HER SHIRT OFF IN FRONT OF THIS ABSOLUTE STRANGER

i am trying to ignore this red flag maybe shes just confident

jeremy proceeds to lock the door to the men's bathroom so that no one else can come in, and lowen finds this comforting! how chivalrous of mr sexy man jeremy!

WHAT THE FUCK LOWEN? HOW IS THIS COMFORTING? I'D BE FUCKING. I'D BE PANICKING SO BAD I'D BE OUT THE DOOR

later in the book we find out that lowen has a chronic sleepwalking problem and can even open inside locks when she's sleepwalking

she broke her wrist sleepwalking when she was a kid so it's not really safe for her to be able to get out and about while sleepwalking

jeremy offers to install a lock on the outside of lowen's bedroom door, so that she can't leave her bedroom without him opening the outside lock for her

instead of finding this FUCKING TERRIFYING

she's Thrilled by his generosity! wow! isn;t jeremy so kind and thoughtful?

lowen! LOWEN!!! GIRL!!!!!!!!!

lucky for her jeremy is apparently a nice guy so jeremy's fucking weird actions are glossed over and theyre so nice arent they... haha...

dude i wanna know what the fuck jeremy has that women are literally OBSESSED with him. hes so bland. he has no personality. he's a cardboard cutout of a man but apparently he has good dick idk

lowen is so besotted with jeremy that she doesnt think it's bad that he tried to kill his wife twice and then succeeded on the third try

no! it's actually so sweet because it proves how much of a dedicated father he is! he thinks verity killed harper so by killing her he's just being such a good and protective dad haha! murder is okay

there was also just way too much sex in this book like i said it before but truly i cannot encapsulate how much of this book was sex. and in case u were wondering about the quality of the sex, 50 shades author EL james is in the acknowledgements of this book.

how are people giving this book 5 stars? it's fucking. it's laughably bad. the plot is so stupid. the characters are boring. no-one makes a single good decision. jeremy is white bread. it's like, really really bad. i really need to know if the straights giving this book 5 stars need help, therapy, or jesus. if u do, please blink SOS in morse code, i will come and get u.

everyone who has a superiority complex because they've never read a single CoHo book is correct . u guys are doing great

#rant review #anti colleen hoover #anti coho

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bluegekk0 · 1 year

Note

Shadow and Hornet. I agree. They are similar. But for everyone's enjoyment, could you elaborate? Like, genuinely?

oh that is a very good question. i had a brainstorming session about hornet yesterday so i have a lot to share

just like shadow, my version of hornet is a textbook example of a lone wolf, bundled with a lot of self doubt, self blame and built up anger

in my eyes, pk was an amazing dad to her. she was definitely his baby (which made his inability to love hollow the same way that much more painful), and he would do anything for her. so when he disappeared one day without a warning, leaving her alone, hornet was genuinely shocked. why did he leave? was it something she did? was he dead? she did notice something was bothering him ever since hollow's sealing, but unfortunately her pathetic wet cat of a dad never shared his feelings with her, so she had no clue what was happening. part of her started blaming herself for not being there, which then slowly turned into anger. at herself, at pk (he knew she loved him, so why did he never talk to her? why did he never give her a chance to help? it was all his fault and now he left her all alone), and at the world around her

there are things she didn't know, naturally. at that point she was spending a lot of her time in the hive, training with the hive knight and queen vespa, so she wasn't there during pk's breakdown, and consequently she had no clue that he never meant to leave her, and that it was his hibernation instinct taking over. so to her knowledge, he chose to leave, and that made her angry with him (despite still loving him deep inside, which makes the whole thing a lot more complicated)

with so many years spent alone with her thoughts, she went through multiple stages of (poorly) dealing with her emotions. she grew very distant and harsh, she avoids affection and refuses help, and she can be very mean. the initial anger at pk slowly faded away, which explains why she was willing to give him a chance, especially after seeing hollow forgive him. unfortunately she's a very angry creature with a lot of unresolved issues, and often lashes out at pk for the stupidest reasons. even though she now knows the circumstances of his disappearance, she still believes that it would've never happened if he was honest with her, though it's difficult to tell if she says this to blame him, or blame herself. just like her dad, she absolutely sucks at opening up to others, and her tendency to lose her temper makes personal conversations that much more difficult

i kinda went on a tangent there, probably not that related to shadow anymore, but i really wanted to share this. i fully respect interpretations where hornet hates pk, they're all valid and fascinating to read, but i wanted to take a different approach with her. she loves him, and that makes all the awful things that happened that much more painful to deal with. though unlike pk's sad little meow-meow state, she has a much more unpleasant way of dealing with her emotions, and often makes it seem like she hates him and everyone else around her

oh and also she and shadow have the same colour palette. that's kinda cool i think

#feral pk au #ask stuff #i wrote this sitting at a mcdonalds table #so apologies if this is all over the place #there's so many people around and it's very distracting

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terapsina · 1 year

Note

Ask Game: hizzie (#1, 6, 10) hope mikaelson & lizzie saltzman (#8, 9, 10, 16, 17)

(from this ask game I made)

Hizzie:

1. ...about my absolute favorite of their scenes and why I love it so much.

"I hate this. I hate how many good memories I have of you. I hate that I have to be the one to do this, because no one else will. But most of all… I hate you. For being my friend, and for being apart of my weird messed up family and for making me love you, Hope Mikaelson."

Okay, so they have SO MANY great scenes to choose from and I think I'm obsessed with every single one but it's just hard to beat a '10 Things I Hate About You' love confession okay?

Also I love what it SAYS about them. Okay, so see, textually Hope is Lizzie's hero. But subtextually I'd argue that Lizzie is actually Hope's knight in shining armor. Lizzie is the one who saves her from a breakdown in the middle of the dance. Lizzie's the one who remembers her and makes her less alone. Lizzie's the one who pulls her out of the monochrome 50's noir movie. And Lizzie's the one who goes after her when she's lost her way. The one who tries to bring her back with - and let me repeat myself here - WITH A LOVE CONFESSION.

And yeah, that last one doesn't work. Except that I'm pretty sure that it nearly does. Which is WHY Hope snaps her neck. I think Lizzie nearly managed to touch her, and Hope felt it, and this made Lizzie a threat. The kind of threat that Josie and Rebekah hadn't been. And that, my friends, I find fascinating.

6. ...what kind of AU fics I'm obsessed with reading about them (or would be if I could find one).

I largely prefer Canon Universe fics that go off script because of an alteration here or there; a what if that led them down here instead of there. But... I guess I would really love to read a Slayer Lizzie/Turned Slayer Hope fic? Idk I just think that might be a fascinating way to explore them.

10....rate the level of stupid they reach in their pining.

Oh. So. VERY. Stupid.

So clearly Lizzie reaches the light first. But BEFORE that she comes up with a list for the Perfect Love she wants and describes Hope. She tries to matchmake Hope so hard it's like she's confessing that she's in love with Hope to the guy she's trying to matchmake Hope with.

Meanwhile Hope? Somehow totally seems to miss multiple love confessions, or to snag across what it mans that Lizzie was sired to her (okay, so I partially blame the very terrible Vampire 101 at that school but you'd think that in a family of... *does math*... 6-ish vampires it might have come up?). And she does catch that Josie used to have a crush on her but completely MISSES the implication that she thought her sister would have made a move too?

Also, Hope wrote herself into Lizzie's fanfic as a kid. And yet doesn't notice how maybe. Crushing might have mayhaps been happening?

Dum-dums want gum-gums level of dumb, okay? Dear evil gods but I love them so much.

Hope Mikaelson:

8. ...a headcanon I have about this character.

She wasn't supposed to be able to turn her humanity off as an Original of her line, so she did it by force, which is why there seemed to be this split in her personality that's never been a thing for any other vampire we've been shown turning their feelings off.

Like, Hope pushed all her feelings deep inside and slammed the wall down and cut herself in half. Which is why in my perfect season 5 (💔) she would have had to accept the No Humanity side of herself and reintegrate it back into the larger whole of Hope Andrea Mikaelson.

9. ...which of their relationships I would have cultivated more if it were up to me (both romantic and platonic).

Well, I know she's dead but I would have brought up Hayley in relation to Hope more. She did have a mom she lost, not just a dad.

Also I would have added a lot more off-screen contact between her and the family she STILL HAS. The Mikaelsons aren't DEAD. She's got aunts and uncles and one brother/uncle, and her mother's pack, and the New Orleans coven of witches.

Also, I think I'd have liked to minimize the amount of scenes Hope had with Alaric. Cuz like nine times of ten they just made me vaguely uncomfortable.

Probably would also have had Hope hanging out with every other person in school, because it did feel like Landon was monopolizing ALL her screentime for like two out of four seasons.

10. ...if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

Oh I absolutely loved Hope from the beginning. Though it took me a while to really understand what made her click, because I've only watched her scenes from The Originals and not the entire show that probably gives a more fully fleshed out background.

But yeah I liked Hope from the beginning, and by the end? I utterly adored her.

16. ...my very shallowest of opinions on this character.

Girl. Pretty.

17. ...how well they'd do if they got dropped in a horror movie.

Oh, there's only two options here. Either she gets dropped there and this is NO LONGER A HORROR STORY because she beats the killer as soon as they attack. Or otherwise, she kills the killer as soon as she gets dropped there and becomes the monster of the horror movie herself (if we're talking about the No Humanity!Hope).

Lizzie Saltzman:

8. ...a headcanon I have about this character.

She was always going to become a heretic whatever else took place. It was always part of her plan B, and not even one she was really dreading. She might not have been ready when what's-his-face tried to turn her by force, but a part of her knew she'd choose to turn eventually. Which is both why she drank blood as insurance and why I think it was so easy for Lizzie to forgive Hope her turning.

Also. I think a part of why Lizzie went on so long being oblivious about her feelings for Hope was because after Josie finally told them about her old crush, Lizzie didn't want to be a person who would move in on her twin's potentially still existing crush (which I actually don't think Lizzie needed to worry about, by that point in their lives it didn't actually look like Josie had any more romantic feelings for Hope at all).

9. ...which of their relationships I would have cultivated more if it were up to me (both romantic and platonic).

I think Lizzie needed a really safe and utterly platonic friend (Hope doesn’t count because she had feelings for her (fight me on this, I dare you), and MG didn't count because he never stopped having feelings for her). So I wish she'd had a lot more scenes with Kaleb.

10. ...if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

You kidding? They were my favorite from pretty much the word go. Though... I guess the moment I went full ride-or-die for her was during the Genie wish!verse episode.

16. ...my very shallowest of opinions on this character.

GIRL. PRETTY.

17. ...how well they'd do if they got dropped in a horror movie.

A bit touch and go in the beginning because she'd panic. But she's definitely a Final Girl if I've ever seen one, so once the panic waned she'd just be really, really mad.

#hizzie #hope mikaelson #lizzie saltzman #legacies #legacies meta #hizzie meta #ask game #shipping asks #character asks #answers #anonymous #otp: we're in this 'til the bitter end

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bookworldofmeghan · 1 month

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The Teacher by Freida McFadden

woah...

Spoilers Ahead!!!

I don't know if I have any words. I started my Freida McFadden journey with The Housemaid. I absolutely devoured it and loved it. I have heard so many great things about her books and since the first one I read was amazing, I had high hopes. I am a full time high school teacher so I was very intrigued to where this was going.

I am truly and utterly disappointed in this book. First off the POV that they switch between is Addie and Eve for part one, Addie and Nate for part two, and maybe all three of them for part three (I can't remember). Eve and Nate are married and teachers at the same high school. I hated Nate from page one, he refused to touch and even have a conversation with his own damn wife. The way that I thought this might potentially turn into a relationship where the husband alienates the wife from her family was crazy, even though I knew from the beginning that he would end up having an affair with a student (YUK!). You couldn't hear how hard I hit the keyboard for that yuk but trust me I SLAMMED! Nate is a thirty-eight-year-old English teacher who teaches poetry to the juniors. Eve teaches math at the same high school with the same grade. Addie is a sixteen-year-old junior who lost her dad and struggles in math, but guess what? Her favorite subject is English. Wait... you're never going to believe it. Her favorite topic is POETRY!

Addie ends up being in both teacher's class. She already has rumors flying around from her issues last year between another math teacher and herself. Well, well, well, Nate ends up falling for her. Addie joins the poetry newspaper that he runs and one day stays after school. Nate ends up kissing her and they rendezvous every week/day after poetry meeting. Meanwhile, Eve goes home to her lonely house and grades work and shops for her shoes. She ends up having an affair with a shoe salesman and dreams of running away with him, even though they both know it can't happen.

Addie eventually repeats old habits by stalking Nate and gets caught. Eve catches Addie and Nate kissing in his classroom and she takes a picture for proof. When she confronts Nate, after telling her lover (Jay), she asks for a divorce and for him to resign. Eve finds Addie inside their kitchen and they talk about Nate taking advantage of her, Addie gets defensive and hostile and whacks Eve over her head with a frying pan. Thinking she's dead, she calls Nate and he comes running. While Addie is busy and out of the kitchen, Eve wakes up and Nate strangles her. But doesn't tell Addie, leaving her to continue believing she killed her. Nate comes up with this idiotic and dumb plan to get rid of Eve's body, with Addie's help of course.

While they are digging a hole in this abandoned pumpkin farm, Nate abandons Eve to be left at three am in the middle of nowhere, stranded. She ends up finding her way home with Jay, her ex-best friend. Nate sets Addie up to take the blame for his wife's disappearance. Meanwhile, someone is leaving reminders of Eve in his house. Addie is investigated, but her nemesis, Kenzie, comes to talk to Addie about her involvement with Nate. Turns out, the girl that's been bullying her was jealous. Nate started having an affair with Kenzie when she was just fourteen years old. They team together and do the brave thing of going to the detective and admitting what has been going on.

Just you wait, Eve is alive and ends up planning her revenge with Jay (her mister). They get revenge for burying her alive, by killing and burying Nate (alive? can't remember, I think so) in the same exact spot. The investigation goes away and everything with Addie and her ex-best friend (Jay) returns to normal, and Addie ends up being really close to Kenzie.

I was grossed out every step of the way. And wait, I forgot, Nate got with Eve when she was fourteen. He's not attracted to her when she turns thirty, because he's only freaking attracted to fourteen and sixteen year old girls. This book never should've been written. This was horrendous and volatile subject matter that is just disgusting and deplorable. I am so glad I didn't waste money on buying this book. Let's ignore the subject matter, I found this book to be so predictable. I knew that everything was going to happen chapters before. Normally there is a huge plot twist with Freida McFadden's books, and there just wasn't one in this. No shocking moments. No mouth dropped moments like there usually is, and that was disappointing, that's what makes a Freida McFadden book.

Goodreads overall 4.01 star rating

My rating: 2.0 stars

#book review #freida mcfadden #psychological thriller #books and reading #bookworm #books #the teacher #spoiler warning

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petty-d4bblr · 2 years

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Hellblazer issue #100, "Sins of the Father" (Paul Jenkins & Sean Phillips), is one of my favourite Hellblazer stories. Spoilers below, obviously.

John Constantine, having recently sent all the parts of himself he didn't want anymore to Hell inside a doppelgänger in order to, once again, outwit The First of the Fallen, winds up in a coma in hospital while his subconscious is taken hostage by The First and taken to task for his disrespect.

The writing in this issue is excellent. I absolutely love John's wandering internal monologues and, in my opinion, aside from Jamie Delano and Neil Gaiman, Paul Jenkins is one of the best at delivering these in the original 300 issue run.

I also love the 'hate-love' (definitely different to 'love/hate') relationship John and The First share. The witty jibes and constant bickering. It's such a fun relationship that goes much deeper than just 'sarcastic protagonist vs equally sarcastic antagonist'. They're like exes: John's the one that got away and The First is the resentful one who can't let go.

The First spends a great deal of time gloating over having the upper hand this time, which is always the hallmark of a villain about to be bested by the main character. But not before he puts old John through the emotional wringer. Plus, there is always the chance that this isn't really happening at all and is just one of John's own fever dreams from his guilt-ridden conscience.

The visual storytelling in Hellblazer is, for the most part, always exceptional. They're all gritty, high calibre comics, even the arcs I'm not a big fan of. But issue 100 boasts some fantastic side-by-side comparative Earth vs Hell panels that feel very cinematic (in that my brain easily imagines these in live action as I read).

We see what is happening in reality compared to what John is experiencing in Hell throughout the story and the question is always there whether the Hell scenes are just John's imagination or not.

Back to the story. At this point in Hellblazer John has actually got a bit of a social life on the go. He has allied himself with some old punk friends (never previously mentioned punk friends, but John is always pulling allies out of the ether) and so Straff is able to find him when he falls into the coma and call the paramedics. Rich Eldridge and Slart join him at his bedside with their tornado of a child, Syder, causing chaos in the waiting room. A concerned Chas Chandler, of course, turns up when he hears what's happening and eventually they call John's sister, Cheryl, down from Liverpool when things look to be in dire straits. It's always nice seeing John with some support now and again even if, in true Constantine style, he seems completely disconnected from it and unable to appreciate it while it's there. But we can cut him some slack this time, I guess, what with him being in a coma...

So, we reach the big reveal: John's dead father, Thomas Constantine is inside the house he and The First enter in Hell.

The First has outdone himself this time and Constantine is completely winded for the next few horrifying pages as The First uses Thomas to punish John while dangling the idea that some key piece of information will let him escape back to the Earthly plane.

Throughout Hellblazer we learn of John's tumultuous relationship with his father. Thomas consistently blames John for the death of John's mother, Mary Anne, during childbirth. Thomas is a violent drunk, an abuser and a sexual deviant (he gets arrested for stealing women's underwear from their washing lines after harbouring horrifying thoughts about his own daughter). John and Cheryl's relationship is strained due to the fact they had to depend on each other growing up. Cheryl was resentful for being pushed into a motherly role for her baby brother at a young age, and John was resentful for Cheryl leaving home and abandoning him with their horrible father as soon as she could.

But it isn't until this issue that we get to see John really process his complex feelings about his father. We do explore John's guilt over his father's murder at the hands of serial killer, The Family Man, in previous issues, and John's childhood is reflected on throughout Hellblazer. But issue 100 really pushes John to confront Thomas and it's an incredible read.

In this issue John exorcises himself of some of his anger at his father. Thomas continues to be a complete piece of shit, demanding that John save him and that him being in Hell is all John's fault. We see John shrinking at this outburst and we know it's a repetition of his childhood cycle. But it's The First who calls Thomas out on his bullshit.

And it's The First who reveals the truth about Thomas Constantine's dirtiest secret: that he is responsible for Mary Anne's death through a dangerous and unsuccessful backstreet abortion (and now those clothes hangers make sense, eh? Yuck). John's stillborn twin remains a bit of a mystery as to whether this was also Thomas' fault as the Constantine line and twins are a bit of mythos at this point and we previously see John killing his brother in utero in an earlier issue (issue 39). But, as always, how much of this is John's guilt and how much of it is real... Or how much is retconned by subsequent writers... it's what makes Hellblazer so fascinating sometimes.

But before the reveal we get a bit of back and forth mudslinging between father and son. But no matter which way you slice it, Thomas was a horrible father and the creator of much of his own misery as well as inflicting it onto his children. And his expectation that they would grow up and just suddenly forgive him and respect him was misplaced (although, it seems quite common a belief amongst some people to this day).

But John knows that this is what The First wants. The angrier he is, the less likely he is to escape. And the longer it takes him, the more likely it is for his body to die and leave his soul stranded in Hell. In short, it's a trap.

So he resolves to forgive his father, despite the fact that this new information is quite possibly the most horrendous thing he could ever learn about his father. So, in a way, The First gets to win a little bit. John is put into a position and essentially forced to tell his father he forgives him for one of the biggest traumas in his life. But, at the same time, John is able to distinguish that Thomas' damnation is Thomas' own fault: a realisation that frees John of The First's trap. And so John gets to make a dramatic return to the land of the living (of course it's dramatic. This is John fucking Constantine we're talking about). Where he can ponder whether or not anything we just read really happened and whether or not it really means anything. But one thing can remain constant; John Constantine is still not okay.

As an aside, this is definitely not an anti-abortion story. While abortion was only legalised in Great Britain (Scotland, England and Wales) in 1967 and John's birth year is 1953, the availability of legal procedures is not the point of the story. This is a story about an abusive husband who forced his wife into a life-changing decision against her will then, when she paid the ultimate price for his dangerous conduct, blamed his children for it. And the impact this had on his children well into adulthood.

It's a heavy, heartbreaking story. And it's definitely no walk in the park to read, and I say this as someone who has no personal connection with any of the issues contained. But it's a powerfully told story and it's an incredible one-issue exploration of several key characters (John, Thomas and The First of the Fallen). And that's what makes it stand out to me as one of the best Hellblazer issues.

Anyway, if you're looking for light-hearted entertainment, Hellblazer probably isn't the DC Comic you should be looking at!

#john constantine #constantine #hellblazer #dc comics #dc vertigo #thought exorcism #comic books #cw trauma #cw abuse #cw abortion #thomas constantine #the first of the fallen #first of the fallen #cheryl constantine #my thoughts #hellblazer spoilers #comic spoilers #chas chandler

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