#and I'm trying to learn as much as I can about different forms of neurodivergence in order to hold them up against my experiences | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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neurodiverse tumblr friends, I have some autism questions!! if you have autism, and especially if you were older when you found out about it: at what age did you begin to suspect you had autism? when/if you got an official diagnosis and how you went about it? would you recommend pursuing a diagnosis or at least talking to a medical professional about autism to someone wondering if they may have it? to you, what are the benefits of having a diagnosis/not having a diagnosis (depending on which one applies to you)?

#autism #neurodiverse stuff #neurodivergent #I'm really trying to get serious about answering some of my questions about myself and my oddities before I go to college #and since we're currently at about....9 months? if everything goes as planned? before I head off to school #I really am trying to get on top of this now #also I was helping my mom take the RAADS-R test last night and reading thru all the questions again made me remember #how much I related to a lot of the autistic traits described in the test #and ftr: I'm not saying I /AM/ autistic #I just suspect that there are some Things that I Experience that aren't necessarily true of a vast majority of humans #and I'm trying to learn as much as I can about different forms of neurodivergence in order to hold them up against my experiences #and see if any of the hats fit. as it were.#I still very much think I have ADHD and autism is just a slight possibility but I gotta be frank here and say that #the more research I've done on autism--esp female-presenting autism--and really the more I've read behind the experiences #of people /with/ autism (especially women)#the more I've noticed similarities and discovered what may be explanations for things I've experienced #some of which I hadn't even fully noticed I was experiencing until I became aware of their existence due to reading others' experiences #gurt says stuff #reblogs on this are totally fine btw!! and feel free to leave your answers in either the tags or the comments/replies!#considering making an AD(H)D version of this too so I can get some opinions on that from people who've lived with it as well...

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dandelion-jester · 9 months

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Writblr Intro:

Hello All!!!

I've been meaning to do a proper intro so better late then never!

Who Am I?

You can call me Dandelion. I'm 22 years old, I use they/them pronouns, I'm English and I am a queer, trans, neurodivergent fantasy writer. I've not had anything published yet but it's my aim.

I have a background in theatre and circus so performing arts tend to turn up in my work. I also love making maps and studying conlangs! I do a lot of art and reading as hobbies, but my favourite pass time is playing dnd!

What Do I Write?

I write mainly fantasy, but also scifi and historical fiction. I also dabble in poetry and I would like to learn how to write for games and screen at some point. For now though, it's all novel writing as far as the eye can see.

My favourite trope to write is found family (I blame all the dungeons and dragons I play). I also write a lot of queer characters and try to diversify my casts as much as possible. My work tends to be very character driven although I do love world building a lot, especially building different cultures and places. I'm best st dialogue and really struggle with building plots. I also have a deep love for history, specifically the 1700s and Anglo saxon - medieval Britain, so that's usually finds its way into my work as well.

You can find my work on Patreon here

What Do I Read?

Unsurprisingly, it's mostly fantasy. I used to read over 100 books a year, but university has made me hit a massive reading slump. So the main thing keeping me going right now is Robin Hobb. I also listen to a lot of audiobooks.

My WIPs:

Information on my current work is under the break!!

Feypocalypse

Feypocalypse is a queer, fantasy horror comic set in medieval England following the events of a Fey Apocalypse in the 1300s. It follows a group of knights trying to survive in a world that has been turned into a Fey hunting ground, whilst protecting the Changeling child they accidentally adopted. The current plan is eight issues, to be published on Patreon and then printed as a complete novel at the end! It will be written by myself and illustrated by my amazing co-creator @withlovefromthecrowss.

The Legend of The Rat Bastards (vols. 1 & 2)

I recently finished playing in a Curse of Strahd campaign that lasted about 2 years and was one of the best dnd experiences of my life. So of course, I decided to write it up in novel form so that I and the other players could always return to it. Our paladin was an extremely detailed note taker so I've been borrowing their notes. It's currently the longest piece of writing I’ve ever done and I add to it every day. It's from the pov of my character, a human necromancer called Sepulcrave who has a pretty crazy character arc and it's my current main WIP, even though its a personal project.

Eye of the Falcon King (working title)

A secondary-world medieval fantasy novel about identity, rebellion, and manipulation. In a world where some few people have the ability to shape-shift into birds, the king seeks out these people to be his personal servants, messengers and spies. Turik is a young boy able to turn into a falcon and becomes a member of the King's circle. But after a tragedy befalls his best friend it begins to become apparent that the king is not as benevolent as he seems and Turik must come to terms with the knowledge that his reality is a lie. This book is about breaking free from manipulative forces, the ways invisible disabilities are ignored and pushed aside, and mostly about how the monarchy is terrible. Also queer people because all my stories have queer characters.

Otherlings (working title)

It's 1875 and Eliza Farthing's twin brother Alexander has just reappeared in her life after seven years. Except he's not her twin, he's her changeling. And Eliza isn't always Eliza, sometimes he's Francis. The world's of the two twins - one fey, one queer - are about to become very intertwined against their wishes. The two have to fight against their family, the police, a morally corrupt scientist, inter-community distrust, and their own dislike for each other, or both of them will never regain the lives they so desperately need and desire. Also there's a circus. The book deals with identity, secrecy, hatred, and community. It's a book about found family, about accepting yourself and others, about not needing to be seen to exist and be worth something. Mostly it's about sticking together despite your differences.

So that's my current WIPs! I'll add more as I get them, but that's all for now! Thank you for taking an interest in my work and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me an ask :)

Tags I use

#legend of the rat bastards, #eye of the falcon king, #ask dandelion-jester #feypocalypse #otherlings novel

#writblr #writeblr #writeblr intro #intro #wips #my wips #writer #author #writing #legend of the rat bastards #eye of the falcon king #feypocalypse #otherlings novel

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raayllum · 6 months

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I know you love The dragon prince and that’s great. I binged the show after season three released. I listened to podcasts about the show . I listened to yours and felt really happy when I found people who also liked the show. Unfortunately I fell of during the hiatus between season three and four. I am patient person but three years was long. Also I watched the show for rallylum and through the moon just kind killed my love for them.Then I found your blog and was really happy. Then I saw how you felt about the owl house and it bothered me. As a neurodivergent person the show made me feel really seen. I know it’s stupid to be upset about an opinion. As a person who wants to be an English major how do find parallels between relationships and characters. You talk about certain ones and I don’t see them at all. Your probably more seasoned as a writer than I am so

Ps : sorry this is long and hope tdp ends well in your opinion

Few things:

1) I'm also neurodivergent (hi!) - specifically Autistic - and I have also largely wanted to be understood my whole life, much like Luz (according to S3). While a show making you feel seen can certainly be wonderful, meaningful, and sometimes even life changing, to me that's not enough to make it a Good (per my subjective tastes) Show. That's not to say TOH is a bad show - far from it - but it's one that didn't appeal to my particular tastes due to 1) too many characters and not enough screentime, 2) a lack of theme (which many kids shows don't have a ton of because they're, y'know, for kids), and 3) all of the characters have very black and white morality, and that's just less interesting to me.

Being upset about opinions is very natural, and it's not stupid, but it is also important to acknowledge that 1) you can't control how anyone else feels or interprets things and 2) no one else can control how you feel or interpret things.

2) I adored Through the Moon. Rayla's tendency to leave (and why) is always a hurdle I expected them to have to tackle at one point, and given that it's her main character flaw, I'm really excited and happy with the way it's been handled so far and how TTM kicked it off. The graphic novel also really resonated with me in Callum's place, as I too have loved many of my loved ones through incredibly difficult periods regarding their mental health, and the graphic novel felt very honest about the toll that can take on both parties in different ways, and how love/support can help, but ultimately isn't enough if the person isn't ready (or willing) to start trying to get better. It's not an easy pill to swallow, but it is a realistic and important one and I've enjoyed how the show has continued that storyline with Rayla (and Callum) into S4 and S5

3) Being an English major is not for everyone! I know many people who love to read and who are very good writers where an English degree would not suit them at all. It's a lot of reading (by my final year, there were some weeks where I was reading an entire 400 page book roughly every week, if not multiple at the same time). It is also a lot of writing (and my professors regularly chewed me out for my grammar). You also tend to kind of double being a history major as depending on what you're reading, you learn a lot of the religious/historical/cultural context in order to understand the language, references, and messaging intended by the author (and then whether or how much to disregard it, lmao). Being able to analyze — to see connections between characters and themes in particular, but other forms of symbolism and messaging — quickly is probably the main thing that saved my ass and let me stay on Honour Roll throughout my undergrad.

I have also been writing pretty seriously for a long time (I 'started' at age 10 but only really count age 12 onwards, cause that's when I first started writing 70k+ drafts every 1-2 years for original WIP stuff). A lot of what makes a good writer is being a good reader, taking your favourite stories (books or otherwise — movies, musicals, tv shows, etc can be gold mines) and figuring out what works in them and why, or why you like them (or don't like them), etc.

For example: The Owl House is a primarily character driven > plot driven story. In book form, it'd likely be Middle Grade to early YA. It's interested in character relationships among the main cast (any of the more villainous characters like Belos are never given the same amount of development or screentime) and some mild worldbuilding. It has some social commentary (mostly on the school systems through Luz and mental health through Eda) and an overall theme of "being different is good," breaking away from abusive systems/dynamics, and the importance of solidarity.

If I compare and contrast this to TDP, The Dragon Prince is far driven in equal parts by the plot (because it's wholly serialized) and by character. It is also very thematically driven — most notably how to break intergenerational cycles of trauma and violence, but also self-destructive tendencies, abuse, responsibility, power, grief, and concepts of justice and punishment. This is also reflected in the fact numerous villainous characters (Viren, Claudia, etc.) share close to equal screentime with the 'good guy' protagonists and heavily explores morality across a decently wide spectrum. It thereby has a more mature tone in its subject matter and would easily be YA in book form.

Which is to say: the best way to get better at analyzing is to break characters down to their basic plot structures (Character A does this, they want that, Character B does this, they want that, etc.) and see what pops up (for example, in Avatar The Last Airbender, Aang and Zuko both cannot go home, and duel Ozai when they're 13 years old, ultimately refusing to be violent against their opponent). You can also look at similar personality traits (curiosity, selflessness, carelessness, etc). Practice looking at the stories you love and figuring out what works and doesn't work for you personally — and then go beyond relatability to look more at subtext and symbols. Some of the best things I've ever read were books that had nothing relatable to my personal experiences in them (like The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini), and that was why I loved them because they got to broaden my horizons.

#thanks for asking #non tdp #forbidden op lore #long post #anonymous #requests

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straycalamities · 4 days

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Idk if you ever answered this before but why did Spook talked differently than others? As like why it sounded like it was stuttering or mixing up slight words

i don't think i've answered it on this blog actually. i don't talk about it much in general.

so when spook was originally Spooktre. he had carved up his face and it was still in tatters, never to heal, because of a curse. so when he spoke, he couldn't get his lips to move right to form lip-heavy sounds because of the physical damage. that's why he held Fs and Vs longer. the Ss were just to make him sound spooky

he also spoke in italics to emphasize...spooky. yaknow. he also spoke in rhyme but obviously teen spook did Not do that

anyeeways i kept the vibe with teen spook obviously just to like..yknow it's teen!spooktre! and then deoncelerization happened and then it mostly became for the Brand. i did have in mind it had nerve damage because of its own older wounds and that's why the F and V thing stayed, but not the S. ...idk why the italics stayed. #aesthetic or smth

also!!! it makes me really happy you noticed it mixes up words sometimes!!! that's something i decided to put in mainly when i was thinking of deehawken!spook because i was thinking a lot about its trauma with its dad n all that. it was straight up mute for a lonngg time and when it started getting therapy for that, it still didn't like talking much (or at all) and decided "why say many word when few word do trick" was its motto. and that was especially clear with deehawken spook because its age woulda placed it in active speech therapy. so it's working on it, but not quite there.

i didn't do great showing it on regular teen!spook's blog (there's a lot of times i look back and read something and i'm like damn..can you shut up this is so ooc to be saying so much), but. that was supposed to continue to be a thing. that spook always tries to find the shortest and most blunt way to say anything when speaking to not have to say too much because saying too much = bad feels/vulnerability/just doesn't like to + it has issues keeping up with what its saying vs. what the other person's saying vs. the noise in its head + i didn't go full word salad but that was always something in the back of my mind when i was writing it having a hard time with dialogue and i always thought it'd struggle with trying to make sense + use the right words

Obviously i wasn't the best at trying to represent spook's mental issues and disorders fully and i definitely wrote and made decisions i wouldnt make today that were uhhh... cringe. but not in the cool-cringe way. in the. i'm actually cringing bro how old are you writing this. kinda way. but i did do a lot of research and reading into stuff for it so i knew??? the ideas?? but for some reason i let old cringy takes take over sometimes. but. ya live n learn

but yeah, basically the speech stuff was a mix of physical damage + neurodivergence

for uhhh..spook now? i don't keep anything but the bluntness + issues with words. the italics, long Ss, Fs, and Vs are all phased out because, to be honest, it's tacky LMAO. i get why i did it, but i don't like it anymore.

so none of the latter is relevant anymore

#asks #Anonymous

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let-us-cultivate-our-garden · 1 year

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How do you feel about the representation ( or lack thereof) in TOH?

I'm not sure to which representation you're referring to but I will try to be comprehensive. Just a note: representation in media is highly subjective; one person may feel seen by a show's representation, another may not. For example, as an ace person, I don't feel like Lilith is good ace rep because it is never even mentioned in the show. It's only in supplemental materials. If your show is going to tout itself as being diverse then the bare minimum you should do is put that diversity front and center so that even the most casual fan can see it.

If you like Lilith's representation or any other character from the show, then I will not take that from you.

The rest will be under the cut.

The biggest draw the show has is its queer representation; we've come a long way from Korrasami, now we have our main character in a sapphic romance that forms a key part of both characters. We have pride flags as a casual part of the background, non-binary characters, and no one angsts over being queer, it's just a normal state of being. I feel like this is the strongest aspect of the show in terms of representation and I'm glad people are feeling seen as a result of it.

Where I feel the show needed more work on was racial/ethnic diversity. TOH is a rather white show; despite Luz being biracial and having poc friends, most other significant characters are white-coded. Eda, Lilith, Amity, Belos, and Hunter are all white or white-coded characters and they take up significant portions of the overall story while Gus, Willow, Raine, and Darius are in supporting roles. This is especially egregious with Gus and Willow since they're the first witches that Luz befriends but they don't have as much focus in the later seasons, especially once Hunter is introduced. It's also worth noting that any kind of character development the non-white characters have is nearly always in relation to white characters: Willow and Amity, Gus and Hunter, Raine and Eda, and Darius and Hunter/the previous Golden Guard.

Another thing that others have pointed out is that despite the number of poc in key roles, the overall aesthetic of the Boiling Isles is very Euro-centric, even in the Deadwardian Era (its name a pun on an English monarch). It's such a missed opportunity to not play around with the overall aesthetic of your show and have it be more unique looking, maybe take influence from real world cultures and apply that to how magic is used based on a character's background.

The show is also touted for its disability representation and neurodivergent characters; however the former is more of a metaphor and the latter wasn't intentional. Fans noticed that Luz displays signs of ADHD and Dana admitted that she wasn't written that way but approves of the interpretation. It's great that fans can project their own head canons and for the creator to be fine with it, but it would have been even better if she was written that way from the start; really show how people perceive her as different because of how she is. We got some of this with how she struggled in school and how she loves learning but not about what the boring topics in school but by then, it's rather late. I feel like the show had a missed opportunity showing how isolated Luz was in the human realm; we got her high jinks and school pranks but nothing really that would make her an outcast and thus want to leave Earth.

Eda's curse as a metaphor for disability has been well-received but it makes me wonder what a disabled witch would look like in the show? Someone who was born with weak magic (Willow doesn't count she was in the wrong track). How would they navigate the track system? What aid would they need to perform basic magic? What prejudice would they face?

We get that in the form of Hunter, who while technically not a witch, functions as a disabled witch. And we get how he had to work twice as hard to earn any decent respect but it's not really because he lacks magic, it's more due to the fact that the coven heads perceive favoritism as the emperor's nephew.

We get some more challenges a disabled witch would face when Eda loses her magic but it doesn't really go anywhere and she utilizes her harpy form and seems to get along fine.

When I think about how disabilities are usually represented as just metaphors in popular media, I think of Toph. In Avatar, Toph is literally blind, there's no metaphor here. But the show is extremely clever depicting how she navigates the world using earth bending and justifies why she is the master of her craft because she was taught by the original earth benders and uses it ALL the time.

TOH could have done something similar by having a character with a real world disability and think of a creative way to show how they utilize the magic in their universe.

Basically, the show is very good at depicting queerness, but could have been better in its disability representation, and definitely dropped the ball on its poc characters.

#the owl house #toh critical #toh criticism #diversity #representation in media #long post #luz noceda #emperor belos #lilith clawthorne #toh hunter #eda clawthorne #amity blight #willow park #gus porter

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nilla-divergent · 11 days

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Intro Post!

[I apologize in advance for excessive tagging. I am tagging as many different types of neurodiversity as possible for this post in particular because I want to reach my intended audience for this blog.]

Hi! My name is Jayden, but you can also call me by my online name Nilla if you'd like. My main blog is NillaWafez. On there I post lots of things like my story writing, song lyrics, special interests, and more.

This blog is dedicated to my experience with my own neurodiversity as well as sharing and raising awareness to as many neurodivergent groups as possible!

Please note that I'm not a mental health professional and I can't keep up with everything regarding different mental health spaces (though I do try as much as I can). It's possible that I may unknowingly use an outdated term or say something potentially harmful towards a community. It's understandable that this is frustrating to many people, but I ask that you correct me in a calm manner :)

Some things you should know about me:

I'm transgender (FtM) and my transition status is too complicated to state here (and I'm not in a safe environment to do so).

I hardly understand the concept of romantic relationships and marriage, and I do not understand the social rules within them.

I'm a minor, but my age fits tumblr's guidelines. I am not comfortable revealing my exact age here.

I'm a level 2 support needs autistic. I am completely verbal but I have verbal shutdowns, which are frequent but not regular. I may not "look" autistic based on how I talk over the internet, and this is because typing out my thoughts is the easiest way for me to communicate. However, in real life I am more visibly autistic.

You'll most frequently hear about my autism but I'm also diagnosed with ADHD and OCD, and my therapist suspects I have some form of psychosis and PTSD. I have two major phobias that I will not reveal here for my own safety (until I'm ready to confront these fears.)

I'm very sensitive to criticism so I would really appreciate gentle corrections if I unknowingly say something problematic or rude.

I am a writer, artist, and musician, but I haven't put much of my stuff out yet besides drawings.

Special interests:

Cannabis and Psychedelics

South Park

The Beatles

Language Learning

Japan 🇯🇵

Talents:

Songwriting

Learning instruments quickly

Writing

Art

Struggles:

Schoolwork

IADLs

Certain bADLs

Burnout

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asexual-society · 6 months

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CW: mental health, maybe?

So I'm a little confused if these labels contradict each other... Is it possible to be demisexual but also experience hypersexuality/hyperromantic attraction and a strong sex drive once you feel that emotional connection has been made? I don't make friends that easily, and don't really enjoy the idea of casual hookups/short term relationships/one night stands, but I also tend to fall for people I consider true friends quite quickly. Additionally, I have difficulty determining if my attractions are platonic or romantic and more often than not, whenever I start getting close enough to a new trusted friend I begin to develop a sudden intense, romantic infatuation for them that may or may not involve fantasizing about them in a sensually intimate and sometimes sexual way. Would this be classified as Demisexual Hyperromantic? Some kind of Demi-flux or Grey-flux orientation? Is this just a form of neurodivergence (diagnosed autism/ADHD, seeking possible BPD diagnosis) overlapping with demisexuality? Any insight at all would be appreciated.

Hey anon! Yeah, I think it's totally normal for a demisexual person (or any acepec person!) to have a strong sex drive, regardless of whether or not they're in a relationship or even experiencing sexual or romantic attraction. Being hypersexual has nothing to do with orientation, and while some asexual people can find any amount of libido/sex drive they feel to be distressing, this isn't a universal experience (meanwhile, hypersexuality is typically distressing by definition, and may be linked to your neurodivergence (or may not)). I'd actually never heard of 'hypperromantic' as a descriptor before looking it up just now, you learn something new every day. As far as I can gather it's not a recognised medical term like hypersexuality is, although I won't go into my thoughts on it either as a counterpoint to hypersexuality or its common usage here.

As an autistic person you might form close relationships differently to an allistic person, and how you feel within those relationships might also be different, so two things can be true, just like you might find it hard to differentiate between different forms of attraction because of your neurodivergence, or it might be unrelated. Many autistic people feel like their asexuality or aromanticism is closely tied to their autism and many do not (as someone who may be autistic, I personally feel like my asexuality and aromanticism are closely tied to how other autistic people perceive me as autistic, but I've been IDing as aro and ace way longer than I've even considered being autistic so I don't see them as connected at all. A psychologist may disagree, but it's not up to them what or how you feel).

It's fine to have thoughts of an intimate/romantic/sensual/sexual nature like that about people you're close to, regardless of how you actively and consciously feel about them because brains love to test things out like that. To put it simply, if you find you really want to act on those thoughts then that's a good sign it's attraction you're feeling, but if you don't or you think you would but not so much that you're drawn to do it, then it might not be. I sometimes think about kissing my friends, and there are some of my friends I would kiss, for example, but I wouldn't go out of my way to try it, I'm mostly just touch starved.

For demisexual people there's no rule to say how often you feel the strong bond you need for the possibility for sexual attraction to happen, it might be very rare that you feel a strong bond and even rarer to experience attraction following it, or it might happen a lot. If you feel like your demisexuality fluctuates over time and sometimes you feel more ace or allo and at other times you feel more demi, then you could be demiflux if that's a label that feels helpful to you, but if not, you don't have to use it.

Hope this helps anon!

~ mod key

#asexual #demisexual #autism #neurodivergent #asks #anon #mod key #hypersexual #hyperromantic

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kris-mage-fics · 10 months

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2, 7, and 33 for the writing asks! -em

Weird Questions for Writers post

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

Nope, I couldn't! This is purely an accessibility issue for me. I can't write by hand for very long before my hand really starts to hurt. Also my spelling is sooo much worse. When I'm typing I rely a lot on muscle memory to spell words correctly, but when I'm doing it by hand the dyslexia is really a problem. Like m/w get switched, or b/d, b/p, d/a, d/q, p/q, f/t, i/j, even u/v. Sure I know I want to write an 'm', but I might end up writing a 'w' because it's the same letter just mirrored. Or I'm trying to write 'a' but my hand keeps going so now it's a 'd'.

The thing is, I didn't even realize I was dyslexic until a few years ago! So until my late 30’s I struggled so much with any kind of writing and didn’t know why it was so hard. If I mentioned to anyone that spelling was really hard for me they’d always say stuff like “But you’re so good at reading!” So I thought I was stupid or not trying hard enough, even though deep down I knew there was something going on that wasn’t my fault. Writing by hand actually gives me a lot of anxiety because of all those years being judged for something I didn’t have control over. And honestly, I don’t think I would’ve ever trying writing if I didn’t know I was dyslexic. Because I still would’ve been blaming myself for being neurodivergent.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Answered here.

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

Yes I do! I’ve done a ton of different arts and crafts over the years. My grandma taught me to crochet when I was 8, and that’s something I’ve done on and off ever since. Generally I crochet lace because the feeling of most yarn as it passes over my fingers gets really irritating, and fine cotton doesn’t. Also I like to challenge myself to make tiny, tedious things! I used to draw, but gave that up in my late teens because of how quickly my hand would start to hurt. Though I really miss it. I’ve dabbled in quite a few different types of embroidery: cross stitch, needlepoint, and drawn thread work. But my favorite is black work/double running stitch/Holbein stitch which I always make completely reversible with no visible knots because I’m nuts like that. I know how to sew, both by machine and hand. I’m not an expert at it, but I can do basic fitting and make clothing that isn’t very complicated. Quilting is something I’ve dabbled in, and would like to do more of, it’s so different than sewing clothing! Another thing I want to do more of is making chain maille jewelry, I’ve done a bit of it and it was really fun! (I’m purposefully leaving out quite a few things I’ve done because it’s already a long list, lol!)

My favorite art form besides writing is bead work! There is something so satisfying to me about working with beads. For one I love jewelry, which I think is a large part my grandpa’s fault (he was a rock hound/amateur lapidary artist, and he used to make jewelry for me). And I love both the technical/mechanical side of bead work, and the artistic/design side of it! It doesn’t matter if it’s bead weaving, if it’s stringing beads, or combining beads with wirework! I love all of it! Working with beads just clicks on a deeper level for me than most art forms I’ve tried.

As to whether it ties in to my writing, I guess that depends on how you interpret that question. I use a lot of lessons I’ve learned about creativity and my own creative process when I write. The way I approach writing is heavy informed by how I work in other mediums. And if it makes sense in the story, I will absolutely use knowledge about other types of art in my writing. Though I haven’t had much opportunity to do so yet. That’s only a matter of time, I usually give my own characters a hobby I’m at least a little knowledgeable about, so it will come up at some point or another.

Thanks for the ask, Em! Also I turned this into more essays, lol!

Oh, man I was looking for examples of some of my work, but I have hardly any photos of things I've made! Well, I did find a couple I can show.

This was done for a drawing class I took when I was 18. While I have regrets about adding color to it, I still think it turned out pretty well. I used a photograph of some rhododendrons from an old National Geographic as reference.

I made these earrings for my mom back in 2015. They're sterling silver and apatite with silk thread woven through the fine chain to add more color. The silver beads next to the drops are 2mm, and the total length is only 1.5 inches/3.8 cm, so you can see I tend to work small.

#weird writing ask game #plus a couple of pictures of a drawing and some earrings I made!#I wish I could do a good job cropping out the background on the earrings #because it's a little weird to have the top of a cardboard cutout of Sorin Markov of M:tG fame in there #we won him as a raffle prize at a pre-release ages ago and used to use him to cover all the wires coming out of my husband's desk lol #writing things #ask game #my artwork

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endogenichaven · 2 years

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I've recently found out I'm neurodivergent (diagnosed with ADHD) and I had never thought I was NOT neurotypical

It might come off as rude but I've always "talked to myself" and gotten answers I hadn't heard or thought of before and advised. I've been assuming I'm just a creative person since a toddler but I found out about systems and am honestly freaking out a bit, especially since I noticed I disassociate sometimes and act kinda weird (?)

I'm confused and kinda scared

Take a deep breath, it'll be okay!

If you relate to systems or the idea of plurality, it could indicate that you're plural, or that you have plural-like experiences which may or may not indicate you're a system. Dissociation could indicate many different conditions, such as depersonalization and derealization, but it also could indicate that you're a system outright. A lot of conditions can present like a system or with system-like traits, so sometimes it can be difficult to figure out what's going on.

If it's not too stressful, you could do some research on various dissociative conditions (such as derealization, depersonalization, dissociative trances, CPTSD, other specified dissociative disorder, etc.) and various forms of plurality and plural-like conditions and see how well they fit your situation. You could also talk about it with a trusted mental health professional if you want an informed opinion or researching it yourself is upsetting.

Try not to panic too much about what being a system might mean for you. We know some people who question being a system panic because being a system could indicate trauma, having to adjust to sharing a life together, and other similar trials. Many in the community have been down this road and have learned to adapt or cope with these changes, and some even thrive as a system, so it's not impossible to function this way and live your life. It might be hard sometimes, but it's possible!

If you're seeking out answers in the plural community, try to avoid focusing on origins, system types, and other system modifiers labels (at least at first) and focus on things that help you understand what's going on and function better. It's easy to get confused with all of the labels and community debates going on, but try to avoid that the best you can and just focus on you and figuring out what's going on.

If you do figure out what you're going through, but it happens to be distressing or prevents you from functioning, it's okay to see someone about it and ask for help too, there's no shame in that. Your health comes first!

Hopefully this helps! Good luck anon!

#endogenichaven #plurality #asks #positivelyplural #multiplicity #actually plural #plural system #plural #plural community #questioning

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ofhouseadama · 2 years

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Are you nervous about getting the adult autism assessment? Do you think the professional diagnosis will make a huge difference? Asking bc I think I have autism too and am nervous about pursuing a professional diagnosis bc I'm afraid they'll think I'm fine just because I can make eye contact. Honestly feeling inspired to challenge that bc I see you trying to get it done but I apologize if this is too much for tumblr.

At this point I'm interested in it solely because it would allow me to ask for formal accommodations (the same with a PTSD diagnosis) at work.

I'm not overly nervous about it because I know I likely have some form of neurodivergence, either from C-PTSD (which isn't in the DSM-5 but is generally considered a developmental disorder/brain injury at this point) or from autism or some combination thereof. My new therapist within like, thirty minutes of meeting me and starting the intake session was like. Okay okay cool cool you know there's something going on, I don't have to bring it up to you and you don't have to reckon with it.

I know I am a prime candidate for having a missed diagnosis because I was a girl born in the early nineties who excelled in school in every gifted and talented program I was chucked into, and therefore any symptons or presentations of my neurodivergence weren't a "problem" and I was capable of masking through school and social interactions due to learning how to walk on eggshells at home. I didn't have many social deficits because I gravitated to the other neurodivergent kids and nonwhite kids. The main way autism manifests in my life is through sensory and auditory processing needs, a need to stim to regulate, a need for repetition and routines to emotionally regulate, and of course--hyperfixations. I can also trend towards being overly literal.

From what I understand, an adult autism assessment is very different from a child autism assessment, but I'm not super familiar with either. I just know from taking the RAADS-R that uh. Something is afoot. Coupled with the fact that when I build in autism accommodations into my life that I am able to better emotionally regulate and function and have fewer instances of distress. I'd be interested in working a therapist I trust on how to better accommodate my needs, and if she thinks an adult assessment would give her better or more complete information to work off of, then I'm not opposed to it.

#ask #anonymous

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vulpecular-draconic · 1 month

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howdy! this is my side blog where i ramble about my experiences being alterhuman. i don't feel comfortable linking my main blog yet, but i may sometime in the future. on this blog, you can call me vuldra. i'm genderfluid and i'll update my pronouns in my bio when they change.

i am a psychological alterhuman – i am alterhuman due to being neurodivergent. i tend to have pretty strong phantom limbs, and about average species dysphoria (although i don't believe those are necessary to be nonhuman). i’m always somewhat mentally shifted.

i always feel like all of my kintypes to some degree, but they fluctuate in intensity. my fox ‘types take the stage most often, and they’re the first critters i awakened to, so i consider them my core ones. i call myself a fox more often than my other kintypes.

i often get mashup shifts, where i have phantom limbs and sometimes impulses/mentalities from several different creatures at the same time. the phantom limbs/etc are usually frakensteined together from my already known kintypes, but they can also include cameo shifts.

the summer of 2023 (june or july) is when i awakened. i've figured out a lot since then, but i'm always learning about myself, so i'll update/rephrase this post every once in a while.

theriotypes

— red fox [vulpes vulpes]. specifically, the pearl fox color morph

— bat-eared fox [otocyon megalotis]

both fox shifts usually consist of at least a couple of these urges: to bite things/others, roll on the floor, wag my tail, curl up in a little ball, run on all fours, squeal, or growl. i can tell the difference between the species by which body shape matches my phantom limbs best, which coat color feels more like me at the moment, which habitat i’d feel most comfortable in, and a few other factors.

usually when i get fox shifts, i feel like an anthropomorphic fox. not quite like the way most modern furries are drawn – more along the lines of how an anthro fox in an old storybook would be drawn. i like having anthro shifts better, because it's less dysphoric than when i'm an all-fours fox.

otherkin types

– pocket dragon. i'm only about six or seven inches long from head to tail. my scales are blue with mottled silver, layered over atop each other, and most are that classic rounded triangular shape. my mouth is sharp and has no teeth. sometimes my tail has a feather-like fan of scales on the end, sometimes it doesn’t. when i get pocket dragon shifts, i feel the urge to scurry up trees, hide in tiny nooks, stop speaking, and eat berries and beetles.

— dragon [not pocket-sized]. this species is bigger and more sapient than my pocket dragon species. i’m still trying to figure it out.

— cryptid. i don’t have any specific appearance as a cryptid, since mashup shifts often co-occur with cryptid shifts. sometimes i feel like not having much of a physical form at all. hiding is my main cryptid instinct — i do not wish to be perceived, and if i do, usually only briefly and in a way that would scare people away.

— fae/changeling. some kind of archetrope maybe? this kintype is similar to cryptid, in that there’s not really a set appearance — no “true form” — but there are common feelings, instincts, and mindsets. (i’m currently writing a big post about those, which i’ll link here after posting.) being fae and being a cryptid are two sides of the same coin to me. very similar experiences, but definitely different. one example: instead of the cryptid instinct to hide, there’s the fae instinct to disguise.

hearttypes, questioning, confusion, and more!

— avian-person. i don’t know if this is a kintype, hearttype, reoccurring cameo shift, or something else. whatever it is, it’s part of my identity. i get bird-like phantom wings and a long feathered tail with a fan at the end, similar to the fan on my pocket dragon tail. my feathers (wings and tail) are grey with a smattering of darker grey speckles, and some feathers have shimmery blue on the edges. occasionally i also get digitigrade legs; sometimes more mammal-like, sometimes more bird-like. i often also feel bird-like scales on my forearms and talons on my fingers. other than that, i feel pretty much human.

— antlers. sometimes i have phantom antlers. i don't connect with deer/other irl antlered creatures at all, so i'm not sure what this is about. the antlers can happen by themselves, or they co-occur with other shifts.

— maned wolf [chrysocyon brachyurus]. questioning hearttype or kintype (leaning towards hearttype). i have a feeling that it may somehow be connected to me being a cryptid? — cecil palmer [from the welcome to night vale podcast]. hearttype. like my other alterhuman identities, this is psychological in origin (not that it makes it any less intense).

— tangled / tangled the series [world]. hearthome. not much of a way to expand on this.

tagging guide

disclaimers:

some of these words have different or more broad meanings than the way i will be using them for sorting — just know that i’m aware of that.

if i want the post to reach a wider audience than it would reach with sorting tags alone, i might add more than just what’s needed for sorting.

if a creature says they don't like to be called a certain label, i’ll try to avoid tagging my reblogs of their posts with that label (a rule that is most applicable on posts talking about personal experiences). but sometimes i’ll miss something. if i make that mistake, don’t hesitate to tell me!

# i say some stuff — posts where the op is myself, or where i reblog something and add my own thoughts.

# tags in which i ramble — for posts that are not my own, but where i add enough in the tags that i consider it worth knowing about.

# not my post — posts made by others that i reblog without adding anything to the discussion.

# therian — posts regarding earthly animal kintypes and therianthropy specifically.

# otherkin — posts regarding mythical/magical nonhumanity and otherkinity specifically.

# nonhuman — blanket tag for posts about therianthropy and otherkinity, as well as posts about nonhumanity. (aka, if you wanted to scroll thru my therian and otherkin posts at the same time with some extra posts about nonhumanity, you’d choose the nonhuman tag.)

# alterhuman — posts regarding forms of alterhumanity other than nonhumanity/therianthropy/otherkinity (ie, kithtypes, archetropes, fictionflickers, etc) and posts regarding the nature of the word itself.

# otherhearted — self explanatory. i will mainly use this term instead of the other variants (animalhearted, otherkith, etc).

# critter experiences — posts containing the personal experiences of any who fit under the alterhuman umbrella, both my own and others’. (alterhuman as in the real meaning, not the meaning as i’m using it for sorting up above.)

# critter origins — umbrella tag for posts regarding theories and beliefs on why folks are nonhuman, whether psychological, spiritual, other, or both. related tags would be #psychological critter and #spiritual critter. if the belief is a combo of the two, all three tags will be used, and if it’s neither, just the main one.

# critter questions and/or questioning — for posts where the poster is questioning aspects of their alterhumanity or has questions about alterhumanity, and posts that would help those who are questioning.

# critter info — posts about animal behavior, welfare, environmental stuff, or legends/myths/lore.

# critter community — any posts concerning the alterhuman community, both on history and modern-day phenomena. will sometimes overlap with the following tag:

# term discussion / term coining / term definition — a three-in-one tag that is probably self explanatory.

# critter shifts — umbrella tag for shifts of all types. since i have phantom and mental shifts most often, most posts will probably be about those.

# critter creativity — moodboards, memes, stimboards, ID packs, joke posts(?), poems, short stories, art, comics, masks, tails, etc.

# critter polls — umbrella tag for polls.

# critter ask game — umbrella tag for ask games (questions and answers).

# humanity — stuff about humans, humanity as a concept, or alterhumans’ relationships with humanity.

# [__] kintype # [__]kin — format for posts relevant to specific kintypes. first one will be for ‘types with two or more words, and second for types that are just one word. (because bat-eared foxkin looks clunky, but bat-eared fox kintype doesn’t. at least not to me.) some you will see frequently on my blog include: bat-eared fox kintype, pearl fox kintype, foxkin, pocket dragon kintype, dragonkin, cryptidkin, faekin.

# [__] hearttype # [__]hearted — same premise as above, but for otherhearted stuff.

# miscellaneous — self explanatory.

all post dividers by: @plum98

this post was last updated: april 7, 2024

#intro post #wooo new intro post!#tagging guide

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stolencrownsofplenty · 2 months

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Anonymous | Accepting

5, 13, 25, 37, 44, 56 >:3c

5. What do you hope to see at your funeral/wake/burial/cremation? What do you think you’ll actually see?

((I would hope to see at my burial, my family would recycle my dead body to used as fertilizer for a tree; either its just a baby or a thousand year old one, it would not matter to me either way. I feel in some part while my family would be saddened I'd pasted away either due to an accident or just life taking its course, but I would want them to honor me in a way my life would still be apart of theirs' in some way. I don't know if that do that sorta program anymore, but it's a nice thought to think about at least.

What would I see on the other side though? I wouldn't know. I haven't lived it yet, so you never know honestly.))

13. If you could live in a movie or movie franchise, which would it be? Why?

((Monster's Inc or Zootopia. Both would lean into on the slight fantasy but still feel familiar to me if I ever got stuck in those universes somehow. If I even got the chance to have my form as my lambsona? That'd make it even better since I wouldn't be too different from those guys anyhow.))

25. Who is someone you admire?

((My friends! Would absolutely throw a rock if I got to visit them over the world some day. ^o^))

37. When was the last time someone texted you and what about?

((From my last text message? It was from my horse trainer talking to me and my mother about having horse riding lessons later this Monday night. We try to have them weekly when we can manage it, since riding horses is my physical therapy, and they are always something I look forward to during my long weeks.))

44. Think about some strong opinions (about anything) that you have. Could be about RP, life, school, work, people. Where did that come from; what happened to make you feel or think that way?

((I do have some opinions when it comes to how Neurotypical writers who work in the film industry write really poor autism representation and don't do the proper research to portray a person with autism with human respect; and I am especially talking about older media that still has some sort of cultural impact. As much as we've gotten some decent rep in the last few years and they're far and between? I do have a strong hatred for the characters like Ra.in Ma.n, Shel.don Co.oper, and The Go.od Doc.tor. Since fictional media is what the common everyday viewer often consumes on an everyday basis to either learn about the world or what autism might be like in some cases? Those older character representation leaves a bitter taste in my mouth since they leave a super surface level rep of the autism definition, and can often give someone who isn't neurodivergent an unfair idea of what someone with autism might actually be like

Sure, it can be possible to be really into a special interest to turn into a career for themselves, but it leaves a lot to be desired when characters like that are only written to be nothing but THAT one "Smart Guy" trait. Being mentally disabled doesn't make it weird I am super smart. As someone who is more on the average side of smarts? I'm just someone who picks up random facts because of my writing, but I wouldn't be able to help you if it came to terms of math though. Plus! A lot of time for this rep, they don't even show the good sides of the autism with it comes to interacting with the world and even the relationships around them.

It even makes me sad to think, while I do love the people I've built friendships with, that some people would get inconvenienced by me wanting to be effective in either communication or just not understand autism is not what we are entirely. We're a person with our own personality. And autism is just something that came along with our physical body; and we have to interact with the world with a body that wasn't build to survive in a loud world.))

56. How important is getting to know a mun when writing with them?

((Super important actually! Not only would you want to get to know me better to learn what could be a potential no-no or yes-yes when it comes to boundaries? Getting to know me as much as I am getting to know you helps me feel me more comfortable when it comes to each of us writing our muses together. I like to learn about a person's muse when I have my muse interacting with them, but it makes the process go a bit smoother when I have an idea of what's going on in their head when I have some friend bonding going down with my mutuals. I WANT to see how our characters might become best friends, worst enemies, or even potential lovers, but it helps to bond with the writer first since building trust there lets me know what a person wants and how I can help make the best out of our writing experiences.))

#ask #anon #ooc #long post cw //

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bogotter · 11 months

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7, 8, and 14 for the pride asks :)

7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?

Kinda. I'm the only one in my family who is queer, besides my sister. So within our nuclear family, no, but over the wider family, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that's openly queer. My sister doesn't hide it, but the difference is that I actively advertise it on social media that's accessible. I even managed to make my homophobic fascist uncle stop following me on Instagram

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

This one is hard. A bomb that I don't know how to defuse. A conglomerate of everything I've found on the street. A transcendental object that I will probably never understand.

My gender is weird. I don't really believe in it. So it is kinda what I want it to be. But at the same time:

I don't want much of anything

I have unsung desires from the depths of my bowels

So it's this constant limbo/salsa dance of it being "whatever" or "not much of anything" to [most of the conceivable identities under the sun. some inconceivable ones too].

In short, my gender is a star, carefully balancing the forces of gravity, that try to make it collapse inward, and the pressure cause by fussion reactions at the core, that try to explode the star outwardly

14. How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

Uhhhhhhh firstly nihilist philosophy has generally fucked my worldview to the point that it's not compatible with most people's perception of the world, I think. That has definitely influenced my views on gender.

It doesn't help that I love to find niche philosophical things to deep delve on. Or just think about how the world doesn't make sense so I shouldn't either. All of this to say that the fact that I'm intellectually gifted (which is a form of neurodivergence, and can be a learning impairment) led me to think to hard about gender so it broke.

Also, growing up Latino has had some influence, but not a huge amount.

This was lots of fun! Hope I can do this again. It actually helped me to elucidate something about my ~gender✨~

Anyhow, if any of you wanna talk more about gender, or ask more questions, feel free. I'm actually pretty desperate for some queer social interaction lol

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themomsandthecity · 1 year

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Brendan Fraser Shares His Journey as a Parent of a Child With Autism - and What He's Learned

Recently, Academy Award-winning actor Brendan Fraser opened up about what it was like learning that his son - Griffin, now 20 - had Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), saying that he was "thunderstruck" by the diagnosis and admitting that he had to fight an "instinct to say, 'fix it.'" ASD, a form of neurodivergence, is a developmental disability that can make social communication skills challenging. The disorder is truly a spectrum, so it can present differently in different people. But symptoms can include delayed language skills, inattentive behavior, and unusual emotional reactions. Griffin, for example, had a verbal delay at an early age. Fraser has spoken about his son's diagnosis - which came when Griffin was 2 - before, first in GQ in February 2018. He opened up more candidly at the Greenwich International Film Festival's Inaugural GIFF Inspiration Talk & Award Ceremony on May 3, where he received an award for his work with Abilis, a nonprofit focused on supporting children with special needs. "I'm no expert on the varieties of spectrum disorders. I'm a dad, and that's what I can talk about," Fraser said. "[Griffin] got a diagnosis, and we were thunderstruck, as I imagine many of you in the audience here can comprehend or understand because of the surprise that came with not knowing what to do." His frustration stemmed from a lack of resources on how to help as a parent. "No matter which medical text or source you consult, it's like trying to get a straight answer out of a leprechaun. The answer is for reasons unknown," he said. Now he feels "lucky" that his son taught him "how to give him everything that he needed." "What that let me know and what let his mom know, too, is that there are so many people who are there to help, and it's up to us, their parents, their families, their loved ones, to just have the courage to ask for it," he continued. "And we can all do this together. Of all the individuals I've met over the years who have so much more experience in working with families and kids, they all say the same thing. We're all learning concurrently at the same time." In 2018, the actor told GQ that Griffin has built a strong connection with their horse, Pecas. "There's something good that happens between the two of them. And even if he doesn't ride him, just give him a brush. The horse loves it, the repetitive motion that kids on the spectrum have that they love. And it just works," he said. "You know, you have to find those tools, strategies. If I ride, too, I just feel better. I just feel better." https://www.popsugar.com/family/brendan-fraser-speaks-about-son-autism-diagnosis-49165770?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

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datcammi · 1 year

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About Me 2022

Hello Traveler, and welcome to my little slice of the internet. My name is Cammi, I’m a nearly 30 demigirl (AFAB; she/her or they/them). Honestly this blog is for my benefit as a place where I can work through my thoughts, as it’s easier for me to process things if I feel like I’m talking to someone. That said, this is my space and I will work in it in the ways that are most beneficial to me.

I'll update this as I think of relevant things, or things change.

Starting with some key things about myself

I'm an 'elder' emo with strong yallternative leanings. I've been identifying as emo since the early 2000s. I've been identifying as goth since the 2010s.

I'm a pagan witch and my practice is solitary. While I can appreciate the benefits of a coven, it's not for me. The things I work with are often considered taboo, dangerous, 'dark'. I am not love and light. I do not follow the Wiccan Rede. I do not believe in the so-called '3 Fold Rule'. My practice is eclectic but is based in personal experience and ancestral work. The individuals I work with and honor are minimally documented if not undocumented.

I am mentally ill/unwell and neurodivergent. I've struggled with ADHD-C my entire life and was part of a case study for what it looks like in girls in the late 90s. I was then diagnosed with BPD at 19, received a C-PTSD, OCD, and MDD diagnosis in my mid-20s, and at nearly 30 have additionally received a GAD diagnosis. Recently learned that I'm probably autistic, so tests for that will be coming soon.

I cannot remember the majority of my life before age 14 sans a small handful of things. I've recently begun remembering more through intense shadow work and different types of therapy, including hypnotherapy.

I do believe there can be benefits to medication and have been trying to find the right ones for me for the last couple years. Unfortunately I have been unmedicated since October 2022 due to negligence by my previous doctor who decided to abruptly stop filling my medication. Checked myself into an in-patient Behavioral Health Center (BHC) for nearly a week in early to mid December 2022. I got a new cocktail of meds, so we'll see how this goes.

I partake in psychedelics and identify as both a pothead and a psychonaut. I strongly believe there are great benefits to the proper use of both.

I'm a psychology student with a focus on the use of 'alternative' forms of therapy and medication, such as psychedelics, and their use in long-term growth and healing.

I'm an extrovert and love being around other people, unfortunately the feeling is rarely mutual and as a result I have spent a long time alone. I have no friends from childhood or highschool, and my online group has long since abandoned me after I chose to leave my abusive ex-husband. Now, I am overly independent, cynical, and untrusting of other's intentions. I refuse to be the only one putting in all the work again.

I pretty much constantly have music playing. I had 40,000 minutes of listening time just on Spotify in 2022. I listen to all genres and a multitude of artists.

I don't believe sex and romance are mutually exclusive. I am of the belief that the parameters of one's relationship(s) are defined by the individuals directly involved, and no one else. For some non-monogamy is what is healthy and happy for them, and for others monogamy is their thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with either, as long as the individuals are happy. I, personally, practice non-monogamy.

I love, love, love to read, write, and worldbuild. It keeps me sane, honestly, and I believe every work of fiction has a grain of truth to it.

I'm obsessed with my hair, it's like the one thing about myself that I am genuinely proud of. I do intense research on all products I use on it and do strip testing before using it on my whole head. "It'll grow back" is genuinely something I HATE hearing and makes me incredibly, intensely angry.

I do not tolerate liars, ever. Just be honest, it's not hard. If you can't be honest with someone then you don't respect them or care about them. Also, lying by omission is still lying.

I make lots of vague references to little things I've come across that give me the happy chemical.

#Just Me Again Down Here #about me #introducing myself

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moogieandadhd · 2 years

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did i bother you? - A Personal Note on ADHD and Communication, and How Our Neurotypical Loved Ones Can Better Support Us

if you're diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, you've probably been told at least 85,000 times that you need to "quiet down" when you're talking. or have been shot dirty looks when you finish a sentence for someone because you know where it was going and they are talking entirely too slow and you need this conversation to move just a little bit faster. maybe you've been told that you're annoying and you talk too much or post too much on social media. being asked to "pay more attention" when you have been this entire time, but playing with the strings on your hoodie and not making eye contact the entire time somehow means that you aren't a good listener.

sound familiar?

now, before i continue, that's not to say that we can't absolutely be rude and come across as poor listeners. that can be true. having ADHD isn't an excuse for acting like a dickwad, but it can be the driving reason we tend to speak as soon as a thought is formed.

i've found that in my friendships with other ADHDers, we interrupt each other and talk about 60 different subjects in the span of 15 minutes (exaggeration, but the point still stands). but it isn't always taken as rude. there is a subconscious level of understanding that we need to say it as soon as it comes, otherwise we will spend 3 hours trying to remember what that one thought was that we were going to say...

(this is reflected heavily in my writing, i think. i don't brainstorm and map and plan. i proofread when i have the spoons to do so, but most of the time i'm just raw-dogging my think-pieces as a true ADHDer should.)

within my neurotypical relationships, i noticed that this isn't so well-received. sure, maybe at first it's seen as cute or quirky and makes me seem outgoing and can even point to the fact that i was really listening to the conversation and i'm motivated to have that conversation - but after a while that novelty wears off and it almost inevitably becomes a hinderance.

if you're an ADHDer reading this post looking for verbiage to use to explain this phenomenon to your NT besties, or if you're a neurotypical with a loved one who has ADHD and you're here to try to support them, let's explain what happens in these instances.

pretend we are having a conversation. i'm the neurotypical, you are the neurodivergent. i bring up something that you're really interested in - let's say your current hyperfixation is painting and art in general. i say something like, "i went to the Louvre a few years ago. i saw the Mona Lisa. i thought it would be bigger!" then, to you as the ADHDer, are set off. you were just reading about this topic last night. you know so many facts about this painting. you know so many facts about DaVinci. in fact, you're wearing a t-shirt with the Vitruvian Man on it right now! so you tell me some facts. i listen and respond with, "wow, that's interesting, i never knew-" and you know that what you had just told me was not a well-known fact, so you interject "yeah, not many people know that. it's all good. hey, did you know...." and you continue with another topic, slightly related. this time it's a fact about Michelangelo. oh, i know a little something about that guy! "isn't he the one who painted the ceiling of... oh, what was the name-" "the Sistine Chapel!"

now, to you, this is just a subject that you are so in love with right now. you could talk about it all day. you love those dead guys. you just wanna share all that you know with me, as someone who only knows a normal, casual amount about those European artists. you may even have spoken a bit louder because you were just so excited to talk about something that you actually like! get those dopamine receptors working!

i just briefly mentioned the Mona Lisa in passing. i didn't know you were so into art! it's cool, but you definitely talked about it a lot. i could barely say what i was thinking, and much less at a normal pace. all the information that i learned at rapidfire, whew. i wish i could have mentioned something, but you were just going off there. so i just let you speak. i was a little annoyed, actually. did you wanna have an actual conversation or do you just like the sound of your own voice? jeez. it's just art.

end roleplay. spoiler alert: it's usually a regular thing. that was basically a long winded way of getting ND and NT folks to understand each other a little better.

now, some ADHDers prefer to keep our motormouths confined to our thoughts and just deal with the thousands of overlapping voices and images. so we aren't all loud and obvious. but many of us do love to talk and forget that there are unspoken rules that we have to wait our turn. we do get so excited to speak, especially because we oftentimes do have a file cabinet of thoughts on that subject just dying to be bursted open and flung out.

i find that doing a self-check in when talking to my non-ADHD friends is super helpful. after all, we can't always expect people to do the work for us. when we feel that slight pang of insecurity when people look uninterested or bored with the conversation, that's a good time to reel it in and ask "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to talk over you/interrupt/go off like that/etc. did i make you feel unheard/unimportant/etc?" and that opens a safe space for reconciliation. now, if you ask this, you do have to be prepared for someone at some point responding with "yes, when you interrupted me, i felt like you didn't care what i was saying."

the first time i was told that, RSD took over a bit and i took that like a punch in the gut. but i managed to take a breath and i thought to myself all the times i felt unheard and if i was in their shoes, i'd be pissed too.

that's when you, as the ADHDer, actually stfu. i'm not kidding, literally bite your tongue or chew on something or whatever if it's hard for you. but you have to let the other person speak and wait for them to finish. i've learned that not every pause between sentences is the other party being done with their thought - speaking at 3 million words per minute isn't standard.

and NTs - don't be afraid to tell your ADHD friend "hey man, i understand that you're excited/passionate/want me to speak a little faster, but i would appreciate it if you didn't interrupt me as often." and if your ADHD friend has RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), you can follow that up with "i love you and i wanna hear what you have to say - just slow down a little for a sec, i wanna talk to you also!" or, yanno, something along those lines. i just find that providing scripts helps us sort through our messes of brains and thought patterns.

again: keep in mind this shit takes PRACTICE and PATIENCE. it won't happen and magically be fixed overnight. after all, ADHD cannot be cured overnight either. that's not how it works. however, we as ADHDers need to be proactive with making other people comfortable and aware (within reasonable means. don't be a doormat) while also holding ourselves accountable when we let our ADHD drive the bus.

neurotypicals, the same goes for you - be understanding, give your ADHD buddy a safe space, but you can be heard too. everyone is allowed to have healthy boundaries; they just look a little bit different depending on how your brain works.

anyway, if i write anymore, i'll get carpal tunnel. you guys get the point.

(and thanks so much for all of the love on my last post - i was pretty nervous to post that but the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. thank you so much. love u guys.)

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