#am i gonna make alterations? hell no i don't have time for this and as i said it's coherent it's just my brain is lagging big time now

[antiendovents]

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

#important psa about tuplas #no you can't be a tupla system #fuck off #endos dni #tupla systems dni #anti endo #did #did system #plural #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd

[sir-adamus]

whenever i think of Ironwood's 'grand plan' after he gets spooked by a piece from a board game i always have to laugh because it was never gonna work, it was unsustainable from jump and only got progressively more unfeasible as volume 8 progressed

"we're going to use the staff to lift Atlas into the atmosphere where Grimm can't reach and leave everyone in Mantle to rot because if the poors didn't want to die they should've been born with money like the rest of us"

yeah cool bro, so given what we (finally) see of Atlas in volume 8 they've got some atmospheric control to accommodate for the temperature and presumably thinner air at the height Atlas is already floating at

and what powers that again? right, Dust. cos Dust powers everything

and you would have to assume that to maintain the current level of atmospheric control in a much higher altitude, that machinery would have to be cranked well the fuck up, which means more Dust is needed. and they can't mine for more because... they're up in the atmosphere, and their supply chain and underpaid exploited labourers got left to die on the ground

so power's gonna run out real fast and everyone's gonna suffocate and die slowly (guess Jimmy really wants to beat out Mountain Glenn on 'World's Largest Tomb')

but let's say by some miracle they do last longer than a week up there - food's gonna run out and they're not gonna be able to keep up supply and demand because they can't import any, supply chain is gone and they abandoned the rest of the planet to die to Salem. hell, water is gonna run out

and then the most ridiculous argument for the plan "Grimm can't fly that high". cos like. no. Grimm don't fly that high, because they don't need to. none of y'all were up there. just like none of y'all lived in the snowy tundras of the north so there weren't Grimm up there. until there were - funny how that works. and Salem's specifically been shown to be able to alter the Grimm without much issue - this wouldn't be a "one day the Grimm will adapt and fly that high" it's "give Salem maybe an hour and she'll make something that can get that high"

so yeah, the whole plan is stupid and it's basically just handing Salem the Staff because all she would have to do is wait out everyone dying from lack of air and then just going up there and taking the damn thing (and then dropping Atlas and causing mass devastation on a global scale)

and then volume 8 makes it worse - the shields go down and Monstra gets parked on Atlas. the plan was dead right there, she's already on the goddamn rock my dude - if you lift the rock now then she's still going to be on it and you will die even faster than you were already going to; like even after Oscar blew up Monstra and Salem was reforming, The Coward in Chief wasn't making any effort to scrape her off the side of Atlas before leaving, he just went back to making threats (which included the baffling logic of "Penny, unless you give yourself up now, i am going to blow up Mantle, and then you won't have any reason to not do what i say anymore anyway" as if Penny wouldn't have justifiable reason to decapitate him for doing that)

'the great general Ironwood' who grew up and came into power in peace time - strategically unsound, incapable of taking criticism and dumber than a bag of hammers

what a hero

#RWBY #if there's a lesson to be learned from this #it's that Jimmy's a dumbass #couldn't be trusted with a bag of cupcakes let alone a kingdom

[pluralcultureis]

Plural culture is just vibing and then seeing a singlet explain why you shouldnt self diagnose being a system and you just having. To sit there like. 'Bitch what I am I gonna do, pretend my alters dont exist? I tried that once and it was beyond detrimental to my mental health'

SINGLETS. PLEASE. GOOD GOD. Yes being professionally diagnosed is better than self dxing BUT 1. I HAVE MET SYSTEMS WHO HAVE TRIED TO BE DXED AND TURNED DOWN and 2. not being professionally dxed doesnt magically make your symptoms not impact your life until you are. Omfg.

A diagnosis is an *explanation* and something you can use to get accommodations, its not something that gives you the disorder fucking hell

Ppl in general just need to understand a diagnosis doesn't mean you start having something, it means you've had it the whole time.

And a lot of ppl DO notice their symptoms first. In fact, with ALL of our mental disorders (depression, anxiety, PTSD, paranoid personality disorder, ADHD, autism) we had ti self diagnosis first!!

We had to bring up that we thought we might have something, and want to figure out if we're right or not and then figure stuff out from there!

And ya know what, if you're wrong the worst that would happen is a therapist can help you figure out what it really is, and then you get help with that!

Also diagnosis can be expensive! Or unavailable! Or the only ppl you can afford/reach don't believe in your disorder, or aren't educated enough on it, or any other reason and then someone can't get a diagnosis!!

Self diagnosis means you recognize something isn't normal, and you can find ways to make you function in a way that benefits you.

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is

[fereldanwench]

OC Interview - Valerie Powell

I was tagged by @gloryride forever ago to interview my girl--Thank you, bb! I'm so late to doing this that I'm not gonna tag anyone else, but feel free to yoink it if you wanna do it!

[Answers are directly from Valerie's POV before the heist in 2077.]

.ೃ࿔*:･ NAME?

Valerie Irene Powell. [laughs] Yeah, my initials are VIP. My dad had a dorky sense of humor, and my mom let him get away with it. "Irene" is my great-grandmother's first name on her side of the family.

.ೃ࿔*:･ NICKNAME?

Pretty much just "V" these days, which was all Jackie's doing. A lot of the staff and some regulars at Nishimura's used to call me "Blue," but that was ages ago. Overly familiar acquaintances who don't know me well but think they do usually call me "Val."

.ೃ࿔*:･ GENDER?

Biologically female, no gender alterations or augmentations.

A/N - Valerie is a cis woman, but I don't see that specific language being in her vernacular.

.ೃ࿔*:･ STAR SIGN?

I was born in Night City on October 12 2041. Misty tells me that makes me a, uh--Hey, Misty, what am I again?

[Misty, calling from the other room: Libra Sun with a Taurus Moon and Scorpio Rising!]

Yeah, that. [laughs] Whatever the hell that even means.

.ೃ࿔*:･ HEIGHT?

Tall. 5'10" or 178 cm. And I admit I have a weakness for a sexy pair of heels, so I usually look a lot taller.

.ೃ࿔*:･ ORIENTATION?

People are out here fucking cyborgs with four eyes and chicks with gold dicks and electric nipples--What does this even mean? [laughs] I've never given it much thought. I like what I like, and I've liked a lot of different types of people with a lot of different things going on. [laughs again]

A/N: I say Valerie is bi, because that is the contemporary real-life word that best reflects her sexuality for me when I'm talking about her, but when I was really thinking about it from her POV and in the context of her world, I don't think she'd be too hung up on a label. She'd also probably see her wide spectrum of attraction as closer to the default, not the exception.

.ೃ࿔*:･ NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY?

I'm a typical American mutt. My dad's side of the family can mostly be traced back to Western Europe--my grandmother told me "Powell" is an Anglicized form of an old Welsh surname--and my mom's side is from the Eastern Mediterranean. Dad's side has been in NUSA for a long time (like two centuries before it was even called NUSA), but Mom's family has only been here for a few generations.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE FRUIT?

I just love fresh fruit. It's such a rare treat in Night City--I'll take fresh strawberries or melons over any other kind of sweet treat.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE SEASON?

Spring! When everything starts turning green and flowers are blooming. There aren't a ton of places in Night City where you can really experience that, but I know a few hidden gems.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE FLOWER?

Hydrangeas, probably. Especially the blue and purple ones. Oh, and wisteria! A tree covered in blooming wisteria is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE SCENT?

Freshly brewed coffee; new car smell; woodsy, smokey colognes and perfumes; real leather; whatever incense Misty uses in her shop; clothes right out of the dryer; lavender; a ton more that I know I'm forgetting!

.ೃ࿔*:･ COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?

Strong coffee, black, maybe a little sugar if I'm feeling indulgent. Tea is nice, but it's not my caffeine fix. I like a cup of lavender or chamomile tea at night. Hot chocolate is too heavy and rich for my taste. A sip is nice, but I could never finish a cup.

.ೃ࿔*:･ AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP?

I try not to get any fewer than 6 hours, but that's easier said than done some nights. Okay, most nights.

.ೃ࿔*:･ DOG OR CAT PERSON?

You know, I've only ever seen one dog in person. A childhood friend's family had one--I don't know the breed, but it was a yippy little shit and it bit me! Never really wanted to see another dog, if I'm honest.

I like cats, though. There's a stray that hangs by Misty's place--He's the sweetest little guy. I picked up a bag of kibble we keep there to feed him when he comes around.

.ೃ࿔*:･ DREAM TRIP?

I've actually traveled a lot--My parents had to go to Biotechnica's HQ in Rome a few times when I was a kid, and they usually turned those trips into an excuse to have an extended European vacation. And I went all over the globe working for Arasaka for 7 years. I'd love to go back to Japan for non-work reasons.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER?

You're gonna laugh, it's so predictable. In my defense, I can't remember the last time I watched or read anything new--Actually, that's not true. Jackie made me watch one of those Bushido movies last week, and I just don't get it. Anyway. It's Elizabeth Bennet. Don't look at me--What's the next question?

.ೃ࿔*:･ NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH?

Just a sheet and comforter.

.ೃ࿔*:･ RANDOM FACT?

Oh, no, don't put me on the spot like this! [laughs] Um, okay, I shot my first firearm when I was about 7. Under intense adult supervision--My dad was really serious about self-defense and the right to bear arms, which always surprised people because he came across as such a meek science nerd. I didn't like it--It was so loud, even with earmuffs. Funny how things change.

Is that kind of a heavy note to leave on? [laughs again] Okay, how about this one: I can't roll my tongue.

#fem v #female v #fem v friday #oc: valerie v powell #g: cyberpunk 2077 #long post #so the fave character one really confounded me bc who the fuck are fictional characters in this world lmao #and then i was like well we could go classic lit since that still exists #and valerie was a bit of a book nerd when she was younger #and i was like omg valerie is 100% a closet romantic we gotta go austen #and the gender and orientation ones stumped me a bit too bc i just really don't think these would be seen the same way as they are irl #i think valerie would find both questions kind of odd #this was a lot of fun to do though #and the nickname thing was a bit of fun projection from my own irritation at acquaintances calling me a shortened version of my name #that i dont like lmao

[cassafrasscr]

Here's the thing... I don't feel particularly good about Fearne taking the shard.

Like, Ashley seems happy and excited about Fearne's new form and powers, and I am glad about that.

I really just can't shake the feeling that Fearne was ultimately pressured into taking the shard. They should have taken more time to discuss it and actually listened to Fearne's reasons for not wanting it. Chetney was the only one who asked her about it, and he still tried to persuade her to change her mind.

Laudna and Imogen didn't ask at all, only talked about how disappointed they were that she was hesitant to take the shard's power. I know they're leaning into the whole 'embracing their darkness and power' thing, but they of all people should be most sympathetic about Fearne being afraid of how doing that could change her for the worse.

I think at least part of this is the disconnect between IRL time and in-game time. Above-table, it's been over a month since Ashton’s failed attempt to take the shard. In-game, it's been no more than 2 days. It's only been a few hours since Fearne found out the truth about who her real father is. Most of that time has been spent on the team-building scavenger hunt. There hasn't actually been time to properly process all that.

There's also the issue of Fearne's bodily autonomy to consider. For any character, taking the shard would mean accepting permanent changes to both their physical body and their powers. Ashton didn't even get to keep the Shard of Rau'shan, and look what it did to him! He lost an arm; grew a new, completely different one; and very nearly died permanently. Putting that much pressure on Fearne to accept that level of risk and self-alteration when she'd already said no is not good friend behaviour.

I would be fine with Fearne taking the shard if (instead of everyone just continuously insisting she should take it) they had respected her initial decision and let her gain the confidence to change her mind on her own.

I also would also have liked to see Fearne learning to stand up for herself and her decisions as part of her 'embracing your power' character arc. Drawing boundaries with your friends and actually enforcing them is really hard, but it’s also necessary for building healthy relationships.

Trusting Fearne's judgement on what's best for her and respecting her decisions would have been better for rebuilding the broken relationships between Bell's Hells. As it is, I don't know how much is actually going to change between them after this retreat.

Not to mention how some of them - mainly Imogen and Laudna - have kind of been trying to force something to happen between Fearne and Ashton. Like, I make no secret of being an Ashrym shipper, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with it even if I did ship Callowmoore. Like I already said, it's been 2 days max since Ashton exploded. That experience really rattled their relationship and it'll take more time and work to rebuild. If Callowmoore is going to happen, let it happen naturally.

I'm glad Allura took the time to remind them that, while the moon mission is urgent, it is still just a recon mission. Once they gather and hand off the information, they'll have more time again to step back and take a breather, and potentially decide not to involve themselves any further if they don’t want to.

(Obviously they're not gonna ditch and leave the Ruby Vanguard to VM and the M9 to deal with - they're all too invested in the outcome to back out, and it's the central plot of C3. But knowing they have the option, and that they'll have some time to make that final decision is, I think, important for their character arcs going forward.)

I dunno. Maybe it's a hot take, but it just kinda leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

#critical role spoilers #critical role #cr3 #cr3 e80 #fearne calloway #bell's hells #meta #long post #hot take

[lastwave]

Hello, if you have the energy, time and will, would you expand on the recent post you made on how people in fandom talk about the skills and how harry feels about them? Like, what kind of things people say are hurtful/inaccurate/uncomfortable, in relation to disco elysium?

I do not mean to pressure you to educate me on this topic, as it is not the responsibility of the affected to educate unknowing people just because they are affected, of course. I just have not found many sources discussing the microaggression regarding the way some people talk about the skillset in disco elysium and the way that they might differ from the general microsaggression about psychosis and systems.

I ask this because I am curious about the way other people experience the world (though I know I will not always get my curiosity sated and this might be a selfish reason) and I want to know what not to do or say in talks about the skillset or in depictions of the skillset in art or writing. I want to be able to discuss and use the skillset as a game mechanic, narrative device and characters in a way that minimizes harm to marginalized groups. I also know that venting or talking about frustrations can sometimes help make one feel better, (but I also know that that depends on the person, problem and the relationship between the venter and the person listening) so maybe this can help relieve some feelings? Those are my intentions with this ask.

I apologize if my careful wording is too overly careful or if this question in other ways causes you unnecessary strife. I just try to be a careful person when it comes to these topics. If you'd rather only respond to me personally instead of the ask, feel free to message me. Whatever way you wanna handle this, if it be publicly as a post, a private message or if you do not feel like you want to answer at all.

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best day that you can have today. Kind regards, Chromatophorium

hiii thank u for asking!

im gonna preface the system bit with whether or not harry & his skills are a system is never explicitly stated, so take this all with a grain of salt

the rest is under the readmore so i don't clog up peoples dashboards

so what gets me is a lot of works imply the skills are less as people than Harry. i understand where the assumption comes from tho, because a lot of media likes to purport the idea of an "original" alter, which isn't how the disorder works. harry is the current host, and he identifies with the body, but the host isn't any more or less person than the other alters.

& we know the skills have independent thought from harry and their own, even if some (or a lot) of them share similar goals (see electrochemistry and volition, two very different personalities w/ different thoughts on how to go about things, but share a goal of keeping the system experiencing joy, though echem has considerably worse coping mechanisms). hell, they even have different political affiliations (see different routes) and a method of coming to a consensus on information (thought cabinet.)

and, as implied in the name, the skills have different talents from harry. *harry's* talent is connecting with people. i interpret the red checks with other skills as trying to let another alter front. i know ive had moments where i've had to let a way more socially adept alter take over. this would be a slightly different conversation if he was implied to be polyfragmented, but hes not soo.

that's why im less inclined to believe theyre a delusion or supernatural thing (shivers excluded, shes definitely supernatural), bc on the most part the skills just act like people, and all display signs of did/osdd (amnesia, distinct personalities, dissociation, etc.) if u want i can make a separate post going into individual skills and how i think they fit how certain alters form, but thats off topic

ANYWAY. it irks me when people boil the skills down to "this is the one that wants good things and this is the one that wants silly things and this is the one that wants bad things" bc it really falls easily into the negative stereotypes applied to systems & by extension psychotic people

#morris #hugh txt #disco elysium

[lucifersresources]

pale waves // unwanted rp lyrics meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

lies.

you called it love but it never had that feeling.

you ripped out my heart.

do you feel happier yet?

do you say some things you regret?

i'm feeling better alone.

you messed me up.

can't take those stabs in the back.

i'm in over my head.

i'm so over you.

all your lies, they just caught up with you.

i'll forgive but i won't forget.

we all make mistakes but yours, i just can't shake.

unwanted.

you're so good at making me feel like nothing.

you're so good at making me feel unwanted.

my distorted view on us is starting to get too much.

you don't love anybody.

your silence fills the air.

why did you keep me hanging on?

i'd never fit your perfect life.

i'm nothing but a goodbye.

the hard way.

i could tell you were good at hiding your pain.

i saw your heartache.

i stayed away.

i didn't protect you.

i just assumed that you were okay.

i learnt the hard way.

you left us too soon.

they took all your power.

it's haunting me.

why does someone have to lose?

jealousy.

jealousy is haunting me.

so bad at biting my tongue.

wish you were mine.

don't mention any other name that doesn't sound like mine.

i'll never be replaced.

i satisfy.

i won't pretend and i won't apologise.

i gotta have you to myself.

why would i want anybody else?

you think i care at all?

you know you infect my soul.

i can't change your past.

alone.

i've heard a lot of things, you and your reputation.

it's the furthest thing from love.

go to hell.

i'd rather spend my entire lifetime alone.

you'd be an ultimate waste of time.

i feel your desperation.

will somebody put me out of my misery.

you've already come undone.

clean.

you're underneath my skin.

show me what i've been missing all of this time.

i just can't get enough.

you're the one drug that i don't want to get clean from.

is it too soon to say that i'm falling?

i can't get off of you.

i'm hooked.

i don't really care if it's my fault.

without you.

it's no fun to stay the same.

you get hurt, then you learn.

feels like a piece of me is missing.

i don't know how i'm supposed to feel.

you're not here anymore.

i'll learn to carry on without you.

all i have is these memories to get me through the night.

i fought my best but never won.

i tried to make you stay.

was there something i didn't say?

i survived somehow.

only problem.

you can call me naïve for hoping you would fix me.

i'm foolish to believe you could pick up the pieces.

there's nothing left.

maybe you're the only problem.

it's time to let you go.

i can't help but to think of you now.

every bad thing i would do, it was always with you.

the problem wasn't me, it was you.

you're so vain.

i'm gonna bring you down.

i've tried my best to bite my tongue.

i've listened to your shit for far too long.

you'll get what you deserve.

if you could, you'd go and marry yourself.

you're so vain.

when you open up your narcissistic mouth, all you do is let me down.

you think you're always right.

you think that you're perfect.

putting up with you was never ever worth it.

you're blinded by your own vanity.

reasons to live.

i'm gonna stay this way.

i hit rock bottom.

you picked me up when i was down on the floor.

you showed me how to love myself a little more.

how am i supposed to breathe when i feel this fucking weak?

you are the medicine to get me by.

you are the therapy to ease my mind.

you catch me every time.

numb.

i don't think i'm going anywhere.

i'm too numb to even care at all.

happiness is something i can't find.

there's gotta be something more than this.

i can't even run away.

act my age.

when did everything start falling apart?

where did all the time go?

thought those times would last forever.

better get my shit together now.

wish you were still around.

memories fade.

guess i'd better act my age.

nothing's making sense.

they say that youth is wasted on the young.

so sick (of missing you).

i'm so sick of missing you.

i don't know how we lost control.

you gave up on us.

without water, the flowers don't grow.

you didn't even notice me.

didn't know that you could be so fucking cruel to me.

it's not surprise that you just don't care.

you were never mine.

i tell myself that i'm getting better without you.

loving you is something that i don't wanna do.

#rp starters #roleplay memes #rp memes #lyric rp meme #rp sentence starters #lyric sentence starters #rp meme #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #music rp meme #lyrics rp meme #music sentence starters #pale waves sentence starters #pale waves rp meme #angst rp meme #angsty sentence starters

[cosmica-galaxy]

That last ask about the disadvantages of a human dropping into Nevada and the ramifications on their health got me thinking.

It’s been partially confirmed that grunts can eat inorganic matter in order to survive (i.e. shoe-eating bandits). They ALL aren’t starving to death sonthey must be doimg something right.

So in all these player/reader stories I’m just wondering “How the hell are they even alive”, because humans need all sorts of vitamins and nutrition just to get up in the morning. Nevada is quite barren, so unless they’re dining on grunts 24/7 I don’t see how they would be able to live off of grunt food if 99.9% of it is non-organic.

That’s without even mentioning medication. A lot of people take prescribed drugs every day for various medical reasons, including some long-term medications for treating life-altering illnesses. It’s never a good idea to cold turkey, and the withdrawal can be dangerous if the lack of it doesn’t kill you first. If a player had to, say, take a specific drug every morning so their brain didn’t jump out of their skull, well that’s really gonna suck for them won’t it? Nevada isn’t exactly well equipped for chronic illness when the average life expectancy is fifteen days or less. Not saying none of these things can be resolved with enough dedication, just that it would certainly make life a hell of a lot harder for any humans getting pulled into Nevada.

Now it’s one in the morning and I am very tired, hopefully this makes sense when I submit it otherwise I’m gonna sound delirious. Good day’m.

These are also very reasonable and realistic concerns when talking about a human wondering around the wilds of Nevada. I would like to say that humans are verrrry...domesticated. We don't really survive well away from our natural settlements or environments. I mean, imagine if you had to go scavenging for food instead of going to your local grocery store or your fridge! Also, I bet a lot of people haven't been in gun fights or have been shot at. The shock of the situation would send lots of humans through a loop. Humans are used to normalcy and safety. We don't go on missions to get food, we merely go out and get what we need or go eat. Grunts are at a stage in time where their whole world has collapsed and survival of the fittest is no joke. It's not just medications either. Some humans have physical needs for asthma, diabetes, and numerous other things. PLUS, the whole "grunts being able to eat inorganic items to survive" would make humans ALSO on that list. I have stated before that humans would most likely be considered prey in Nevada and that's not a joke. For example, when Burger Gil's was in operation, they mention that Burger Gil's got the meat from a supply plant that grows meat. But that was BEFORE the fall. After the fall, cannibalism has become scarily commonplace. So much so, that there's several factions dedicated to eating other Nevadeans. (Bandits AND Vampires feed on the populace) That means that grunts would have no trouble deciding to eat a human, as it would be a typical choice. The only few things I know Nevada has is meat, bread, and sodas of some kind. (Along with whatever Chef Pava is selling.) I don't even know how Nevada has bread, since there are no known wheat farms. There are no animals, not even horses to ride on. That means there's no fruit and no veggies. No vitamins and no minerals ESSENTIAL to prevent a human's health from declining. If the poor human doesn't starve to death first, they may even die of thirst later on. The only time they would be able to get a drink is from a miraculous intact soda machine or the rain that periodically falls from the sky. Both which may expose them to expired goods or dirty water. If you're a Player, you may just be able to survive. Especially if we're talking about Salty's AU. But if you're a REGULAR human, you are going to be in a WORLD of hurt. Just surviving the illnesses you can get, the limited options you would have, the general discomfort of an apocalyptic world that's filled with murderous faceless creatures that would LOVE to eat you sounds like an absolute nightmare.

#archiedumskull #hax speaks #haxorus imp #cosmica galaxy #madness combat x reader #madcom tag #human!reader x madcom #madcom x reader #y/n x madness combat #madness combat imagines #madcom self aware au #madness combat self aware au #self aware m:pn au #self aware au

[extremeexhaustion]

My Take on Aziraphale's Decision (GO 2 spoilers!)

Ok, y'all, it's time to pull out my psychology degree and my own experiences with trauma. This is gonna get a little heavy, but I feel that these extra details are necessary. I put my theory in a "read more" tab in order to not clutter the already messy fandom posts.

TL;DR - Aziraphale was manipulated by the Metatron to go to Heaven of his own free will because the Metatron wants control over him/Heaven again. The Metatron likely knew how Crowley would react and pushed for a suggestion that would cause a miscommunication/separate the pair to leave AZ in a vulnerable position that's easier to manipulate. Our angel is going to go through Hell trying to get back out of that situation and could potentially face life, er, soul-threatening danger if/when he tries.

First off, I do fully believe that Aziraphale went back to Heaven of his own free will. However, I also believe that he was in fact manipulated into his choice. I'll be honest, the scene with the Metatron almost gave me a panic attack because it reminded me so much of what extended family members used to do with me. Swooping in unexpectedly, giving a gift (the coffee in this case), putting me in an isolated position away from people who would defend me, and then demanding something in a roundabout way despite showing little to no interest in me before. This is an abuse tactic that's fairly common in family dynamics between an older, more powerful member and a younger, more ostracized member.

I'll deconstruct this manipulation strategy in a moment. For now, I am going to address the coffee theory going around.

There is a slight chance that AZ was given cyanide (which tastes like bitter almonds) to alter his mental status. This is based on circumstantial evidence as at the coffee shop, the Metatron asked for a "dash of almond syrup" yet he says it contains a "hefty jigger of almond syrup" when he hands it to AZ. While that isn't a true measurement, it does indicate a change in the amount or presence of something in the coffee that would cause a stronger taste of almonds. I may not know what a "jigger" means in British English, but I certainly do know what "hefty" means.

It was shown to us, the audience, that poisons don't kill or even really hurt demons or angels. They act more like a hard liquor where inhibitions are lowered and emotions run much more rampant than logical thought. It is a known manipulation tactic to get the other party tipsy or drunk to make them more vulnerable to suggestions that they may not agree to normally. There's a good reason why people go to bars to find hook-ups. And, as we all are aware, drunk people are capable of making their own decisions yet have a higher tendency to make poor ones. That's why a sober friend is usually put in charge of everyone else for safety.

How can this be used for manipulation? Simple, the abuser can claim that it was your, the abusee's, decision(s) all along which shifts the responsibility off of them and onto you. While I can't say for certain due to the fact that we didn't witness their actual conversation, I can say that guilt and shame have always been efficient means of controlling Aziraphale and that it is very likely that the Metatron knows this. So, using a tactic like this where if AZ tried to pull back from it then Metatron can claim that it was AZ's decision and he shouldn't back out of it.

Now that I've addressed the coffee theory, I'm going to break down the steps of the abuse tactic I saw in this final episode.

Step 1: Catching the victim off guard

Abusers are always trying to have the upper hand in a situation. Showing up without warning is an actually extremely common way for a perpetrator to attempt to get their escaped victim in a position where they are forced to interact. The Metatron showed up to the bookshop, unannounced, and asserts himself right away. Although it's played for a bit of a laugh, this scene felt very eerie to me. This being that wants to be seen as powerful establishing himself as the most powerful one in the room by getting the previous powerhouses to scamper away. As someone who has experienced this in real life, it is a terrifying feeling.

Step 2: Giving a gift/Start of Love Bombing

Gifts and flattery are meant to get an abusee to relax in the presence of their abuser. Naturally, a victim of abuse who recently got away would be hesitant. We see that with just how wary AZ acts when Metatron first shows up and is asked to take a stroll. We can see how Aziraphale actually looks to Crowley for permission/comfort before he dares to step outside of the bookshop. The coffee was a way to get AZ to say "yes" to something, an initial submission, and a token of sympathy. Especially with the added "I've ingested things in my time, you know." This statement aims to show a sort of comradery, an "I'm-on-your-side" and an "I-understand-you-unlike-them". All meant to lower Aziraphale's guard for the talk they are about to have. Sometimes it is also used to start a conversation even when it is unwanted which I have experienced quite a few times.

Step 3: Isolate the victim/take them out of their comfort zone

Isolation is one of the most significant elements of abuse. It's how an abuser retains control over a person alongside the fear of violence/rejection. The Metatron doesn't attempt to get AZ away from Crowley initially through trying to get the demon to leave. He knows full well that the demon won't leave the bookshop of free will nor relinquish the position of protector. So, he targets the more vulnerable person in the relationship: Aziraphale.

He gently encourages AZ to come with him outside of the bookshop (where the Principality feels most comfortable & therefore the most capable of standing up for himself) and away from Crowley. When AZ gives in and starts to leave, the instrumentals in the background kick in and they paint a rather scary picture. The minor key/dark music that plays as the Metatron glares harshly at Crowley indicates that he knows that the demon is an obstacle in his plans and he needs to drive them apart. There are plenty of stories in real life where the toxic parents of a married couple are the cause of a divorce because their abused grown-child is convinced to do/think in a certain way that is harmful/hurtful towards their spouse. All because the spouse was "stealing" the abusee away and perhaps for even defending said abusee in the past.

In essence, the Metatron wants Aziraphale back in Heaven and under his control (since he's the one the archangels answer to). He can't achieve that if Crowley is around because Crowley will always protect Aziraphale. It's much simpler to get AZ to drive his demon away through a misunderstanding and basically insulting the other (think all the fics that have Crowley saying "Of course he couldn't love me, I'm a demon") by insinuating to Crowley that AZ would only love him if he was an angel again. The Metatron's offer is phrased in a way that he very likely knew would cause a rift and make him the winner in the end.

Step 4: Flattery/Continuation of the Love Bombing & Use of guilt

The only bits of their conversation that we, the audience, are permitted to see is practically saturated with flattery. Words of how Aziraphale is the only candidate who makes any sense, that he's a leader, he's honest, he's the angel for the job, and so on. This is practically an excess of praise considering how AZ was normally treated in Heaven. We can actually see how thrown off he is by his body language and protests because of how contrasting it is to the status quo. When this doesn't work, the Metatron changes his tactic to taking advantage of AZ's sense of guilt that's been around since the Garden of Eden. He targets the angel's biggest weakness; Crowley who fell for asking questions that Aziraphale caused him to ask (from what AZ knows).

It is a bit more of an uncommon tactic, but offering a seemingly "perfect" solution is something that manipulators will use. The Metatron offers a "solution" to Aziraphale's dilemma and guilt. He offers a place for Crowley in Heaven as an angel that AZ could be the one to order essentially reversing AZ's "mistake" and allowing them to be together without fear. The Metatron is also offering Aziraphale a position where he can "make a change" and a sense of belonging that he has never had. An opportunity not only to make Heaven better, but a true place within Heaven.

The best real life comparison I can make would be a man with five wives losing one and turning to a former wife to come back to replace the void. This man promises all of the love in the world and better treatment than before. The ex-wife goes back because she is lured in by these promises and the status quo that came along with the abuse. Often, this woman ended up murdered in the end.

Step 5: Make the demands in a way that it doesn't seem demanding

The Metatron, once he has Aziraphale in his sights, is very yet subtly pushy from the start. It could be initially seen as impatience like when he insisted that AZ drink the coffee so he could move onto the topic of their little talk. However, this same pressure is present throughout his screen time. When they head out to walk, during the talk (that we've seen), when they headed out of the bookshop again, and when AZ didn't get on the elevator/lift at first.

His sentences may not be phrased as demands, but the intense pressure of a demand is laced beneath his words. This puts Aziraphale in a very uncomfortable position where it likely feels like he has no right to refuse. Not when he's already basically said yes. And that strained, painful grin on his face during the credits is an expression I've made myself doing a task I really didn't want to do, but felt like I had no other choice. Because now it was my responsibility to do. Because now I couldn't waste the opportunity. Because I'm such a good person, how could I refuse a request from family?

I was very fortunate to have a non-abusive immediate family, so I got away from these threats once I was old enough to decide to not attend family events or decline invitations. I had a support system to lean on and get me out of those situations.

Unfortunately, Aziraphale's only defender was Crowley and now he has no-one to protect him. To drag him out of the depths of the toxicity of Heaven. As I pointed out earlier, IRL victims in these types of situations often end up being murdered the next time they try to get away. So, I have a feeling that Aziraphale will be in a lot of trouble when he realizes that he really can't change anything. That he'll try to get away, but will be dragged right back in and his only hope will be that Crowley can somehow sense his distress then come to his rescue. But after the way they separated, would his demon come to his aid?

Potential Season 3 just screams angst for over half of the runtime.

#ineffable husbands #aziraphale/crowley #crowley/aziraphale #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #theory

[silver-heller]

So um, I've been vaguely informed (the details aren't really my business) there's been a situation so I just want to clarify something:

My vent posts are just that, vent posts. They're not me making an educated callout on an individual and they shouldn't be seen as THIS PERSON IS JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON AND HERE'S THE 100% LOGICAL REASONS WHY. I only put it in caps to clarify I think that's how I came off, my vents don't reflect how I actually see people, they reflect how I see people in that hurt state.

Does that justify not adding clarity to begin with? No, and I will definitely do so in the future, but I feel clarifying now is better than just leaving this confusion in the air. So here it is.

I will be more careful in the future that my vents don't breach containment, I tried to be clear the goal was not harassment and I do genuinely feel bad that apparently someone saw and took it as quite genuine. In this situation, it was less about the person and more a trend of people accidentally making a character's "evil side" into an alter like entity because they think it's cute, funny, or hot. People are often way more willing to accept that than actual system relationships.

It ended up hitting on a sour spot because for a long time I've had a deep and extremely important relationship with an alter of mine, but I'd constantly worried due to the nature of said alter, it would be heavily judged and not as accepted as if I just saw him as a fictional character. This is not a justification, but an explanation for the layers of hurt on top of it being a very bad stereotype. The fact I haven't been more open about the relationship is on me, and you know what? I should be, even if others will look down on me for it. That's their damage.

I can't speak for the original intent of the user I was venting about, and I should have been clear I was reacting to how it all came across rather than knowing their full intent. Which yes, it came across really bad but, people make mistakes. People get scared and do dumb things. It happens, so again, should have been clear their intent was unknown, it just came off bad in a way that made me feel like I had to block to protect myself.

I'm not going to tell you not to "tattle" on me. That's really 100% up to you, but I do ask you to keep in mind the point of my vent posts before you do. Cause yeah, me venting because I am upset or triggered or what the Hell ever is going to sound really bad, but if you asked me once the dust was settled I'd probably just say, "yeah that user made a mistake, and it was enough to deeply hurt me to the point I don't want to talk to them anymore. I don't think they're a bad person, I just don't want them in my space to avoid future issues". But, next time I will try to cool down and be more open about my process, as I realize how bad some of the things I said sound.

I shouldn't have painted them as a bad moot, I should have just explained I didn't think they were very conscious of the fact I was plural, so I wanted to be more careful about moots from now on to ensure that part is understood loud and clear in ALL its regards before I accidentally put myself in (unintentionally) triggering spaces.

So uh, if it wasn't clear please don't harrass this person. Also please don't judge my friends for just trying to be supportive. Most of them only vaguely knew about the situation and only two of us were involved. They were responding to what they knew at the time and were extremely protective due to the hurt I was feeling.

I'm gonna try to make this the last post I make about this, but I just genuinely never meant to hurt anyone so I wanted to say my peace.

#tw discourse

[gayshrug]

pit babe ep 1 thoughts

oh i am into it. i am sooooo into it

- the chemistry is chemistrying incredibly hard. props for the casting because there was basically no moment i thought felt awkward or lacking

- holy fuck pavel. he's so........ his facial expressions and voice are. uhm. 🥴

- NO SILLY SOUND EFFECTS and decent music choices (for now) (i don't trust it). oh my god.

- i've gathered it's like. alphas, sigmas and enigmas (????????) and not standard a/b/o but it wasn't that big of a plot point anyway, mainly an explanation for babe's talent on the track and his compatibility with charlie

- the neck action/ scenting. thank you thank you thank you. i hope we'll continue to get our fill because that was SO sensual.

- the no kissing rule.......... i love that. because we went super fast with their fwb relationship, there's that remaining tension/release we're gonna anticipate. i hope they use it well.

- also all moments of babe turning down charlie's kisses were so horny. 10/10

- i love that we've got a lead who's an alpha and a racer and cocky as fuck and also very openly a Bottom™. he's so hot. and he knows what he likes.

- charlie's so cute. yeah he's scheming and two-timing but i'll forgive him. as long as he switches teams in the end, i say let him do whatever he wants. CUTIE.

- when charlie was like "well i've fucked you 900 times since we met..... trial period's over or i'm leaving" and got all pouty (calculating little monster) and babe was like 🧍🏼‍♂️OK fair enough, you've got the job 🧍🏼‍♂️ and then tried to suppress his smile when charlie got excited. ARGH. ik we're getting angst but i'll gobble up the soft moments for as long as i can

- don't really care about the best friend/ manager being in unrequited love with babe, i'll be honest. that might change though.

- everybody has decent hair cuts. again, thank you.

- THEORY TIME: since we already know charlie's a mole or whatever for a competing team, did they somehow chemically alter or suppress his alpha scent/ pheromones in preparation? or did they choose him specifically because he naturally doesn't have a strong scent?

- i was kinda worried they'd make the racing look cheap or cheesy but i'm actually very pleased with it. my brothers are really into f1 so i probably couldn't deal if they'd messed that up.

- babe's garage-apartment looks kinda cold but i love that we're getting something different to the standard interior design. it's all very him (job/passion-focused bachelor pad). interested to see if charlie's car's gonna be parked there by the end of the show, too. though i suppose it'd still be babe's car, unless charlie empancipates? we do have 14 episodes so....

- obsessed with the tiny tree maintenance.

- the preview looked GOOD and the bloopers were cute as hell.

tl;dr: i did not expect to have this much fun watching it but i'm hooked. 80% because babe's so hot but let's not talk about that. i'm so pleased we've got more and more shows branching out of the genre standards (though i do love those, too). give me more pit babe NOW

#i love that i can watch shows i'm interested in WHILE they're airing again #also sorry for the reviews but it's fun. it's FUN #pavel ich küss deine augen #pit babe the series #thai bl

[astrronomemes]

BLACK SNAKE MOAN: STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 2006 film Black Snake Moan. change & alter as needed.

"This ain't gonna work. I don't see why we've got to lie about it when you and I know this ain't gonna work."

"I've got to believe we can do this, or I ain't gonna make it, [name]."

"You ain't gonna make a fuss, are you?"

"There ain't nothing a man can do when a woman makes up her mind."

"I'm not ready to grow old, [name]. And living with you, I feel it. Like I'm one foot in the dirt. I saw it happen to my mama, and that's not gonna happen to me. I've got living to do."

"I deserve better than this. Better than what you give."

"It's already noon, [name]. You think that skirt should still be on?"

"Ain't no better cure for them blues than some good pussy."

"We're not gonna get through this clean. But it don't need to get dirty."

"You're just trying to get me out of my clothes."

"You'd fuck a tree if it was handy."

"Are you gonna preach about turning the other cheek?"

"Your people are here for you, [name]. This is your home. No shame in showing your face."

"I don't mean to hurt you. But I ain't letting you die. I ain't letting you die!"

"I found you on the side of the road. Someone took to beating on you pretty bad. You know who done that to you?"

"The hell you know about me?! You got no right to talk to me about that shit! The hell you think you are?!"

"I saved your life, girl. I can do and say whatever the fuck I want."

"A man big enough to pull a gun best have a tongue in his mouth if he ain't got a brain in his head."

"You ain't gonna talk me out of shit no more. I've got my mind made up, and I ain't gonna be moved on this."

"If you're in some trouble, then we're gonna figure something out. You and me."

"My mouth is shut, boy, and that's how we're gonna keep it."

"You can't hurt people, and then just say I'm sorry, and it all gets washed away."

"I think folks carry on about heaven too much. Like it's some kind of all-you-can-eat buffet up in the clouds. And folks are just gonna do what they're told so they can eat what they want behind some pearly gates. I could go to Shoney's for that."

"What's your heaven? What gives you peace?"

"I'm not fighting with you. I just know you've got more in you than junk."

"You don't know what you're talking about! So why don't you just shut the fuck up?!"

"You only get one life. It should be lived the way you want to live it."

"Not gonna lie to you, [name], this one's a doozy. I don't think... I don't think I can stop this."

"No one's gonna hurt you no more."

"This town ain't going nowhere. You take the time you need."

"You never needed nobody. Always made that clear to me."

"Get me drunk so I don't stick my foot up your ass."

"I feel like I'm coming out of my skin. Like I'm losing control of my mind."

"You know how you feel when you come out of a bad hangover? Like your eyes can open a little bit more?"

"Careful how you point that gun, boy."

"Are you here to make a point, or are you here to kill somebody?"

"If you need to kill a man, all you've got to have is a good reason."

"I think... I think we're fucked up. Both of us. I know I am."

"So... if you want to quit on me... I understand. But please don't."

"I've had nice things before. But I've always ruined them somehow."

"Now live your life. Pull your shit together, and live your life."

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp starters #roleplay starters #dialogue prompts #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #rp memes #roleplay memes #sentence memes #sentence prompts #sentence starters

[cdpdoodler]

hit the episode Tyger Tyger just now (I'm watching BTAS for the first time) and oh??? my god???? why the hell am I gonna have emotions like this over the anthro furry transformation Batman episode??

Dorian had a line about twenty years of work going down the drain. he also says that Tygrus is not his first attempt at a human/animal hybrids?? so even if we assume he meant slightly more than twenty years Tygrus is still probably barely 20 at most. he's like Dick's age. wtf. (I know he probably matured faster than a normal human would cause cat genetics but my god.) he refers to Dorian as his father, Batman assumes he was made in a test tube (and he's probably right) but even so like ???? did he raise him. how fast did he age. does he know how to read. he knows how to talk, what other skills did he learn from his father.

and then there's fucking Garth. who I think we're meant to assume was born human and forcibly altered, like Selina? he wears clothes. why does he get clothes but Tygrus doesn't 😭😭. it's also equally plausible that he was created as a monkey/human hybrid, no cat DNA whatsoever, since it is mentioned Dorian experimented on other primates before his retirement. but he's a lot more human-passing, a lot less feral than how Tygrus and even Selina in her half-cat form behave. who is he. where did he come from. I don't think he ever calls Dorian "father" and his design makes me think that he's closer to middle aged ?? was he just a guy?? why doesn't he grapple with his humanity. how long has he been working for Dorian. was it willingly?? is he just a furry hired goon that was down for whatever as long as he got to be monkey? Where did Batman take him. did he put him in prison. what is the ethical way to punish a half ape man criminal.

And then at the end??? Tygrus hands his father over to Batman bc he figures that Batman will help him?? and also opts to stay on the secluded island with the burning remains of his father's lab??? does he just live out the rest of his life as a wild animal? He's clearly capable of sentient thought. does he resent his humanity? does he resent his creator? Batman says Dorian has to be punished for his genetic crimes- do you think Tygrus sees himself as an affront to nature. does he have internalized furryphobia

jfc. I have so many questions. as far as I can tell from Google he was made for this show and only appeared in one episode and a spin off comic. what the hell. I hate it here.

#tygrus #emile dorian #batman the animated series #btas #tyger tyger #batman

[alyswritings]

Girl in the Chair

Request: saw a post regarding this and now i can't get this out of my mind: how about a teen!cousin sister!reader x ag!peter parker fic where she's may and ben's daughter so they're basically raised together and one day she finds out about him being spidey and then starts helping him out with little stuff (like making silly excuses for his absence at home and patching him up)?

Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) x cousin!reader

Summary: Y/N helps Peter keep his secret identity.

Warnings: swear words, kind of angsty ig, some fluff

a/n: thank you for the request! yes, i did get the whole "person in the chair" thing from tom's spider-man. hope you all enjoy!

(gif not mine)

Y/N was the closest thing that Peter had to a sibling. She was only four years old when Peter's parents left, only two years younger than him. Even before he had to move in with them, they were still very close and each other's best friends.

After Peter's parents disappeared and he permanently moved in, they ended up growing closer and they did practically everything together. They were there for each other through all of the hard times.

When Ben died, it destroyed both of them. For the first few days, they comforted each other, but after that Peter started getting distant and he was almost never home.

Currently, Y/N is lying on Peter's bed, her hair hanging off the end of it. She's on her phone, waiting for him to get home, though she doesn't really expect him to get back.

The window opens and Y/N looks over, watching as Spider-Man climbs in the window. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops as she watches him come through the window. Spider-Man drops to his feet and takes the mask off only to reveal Peter making Y/N's eyes practically pop out of her socket.

"Oh, my God!" She yells, sitting up. Peter jumps about a foot in the air, finally noticing her.

"Y/N." Peter says heavily. "He-- uh, hey. What's, uh... what's up, sis-cuz?" He awkwardly laughs.

"You're Spider-Man!" Y/N gasps.

"What?!" Peter's voice raises a few octaves. "I-- no. No, no, I... I'm not."

"Then what the hell are you wearing?" Y/N asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh..." Peter looks down at the suit. "Um... I... school play?"

"You go to a science school, genius." Y/N remarks.

"Uh... well, what the hell are you doing in my room anyway?" Peter asks, locking his bedroom door.

"You promised we'd watch Harry Potter, remember? And despite you not keeping a single promise the past couple of weeks, I was still holding out a little hope." Y/N explains.

"Okay. Right. We can watch it now." Peter says.

"Oh, who cares about wizard children right now. You're Spider-Man." Y/N states.

"Okay, okay, fine! Yes! I am Spider-Man!" Peter hisses.

"What the hell?" Y/N asks.

"I-- it's a long story." Peter says.

"What, because I'm so busy?" Y/N scoffs.

"Look, you... you can't tell anybody. All right, nobody. Not a single soul. Not even Aunt May." Peter says.

"You want me to lie to my mom?" Y/N asks.

"Like you've never lied to her before?" Peter retorts, knowing full well that she has.

"Well, yeah, on my own accord." Y/N says. "Why can't I tell anybody?" Y/N asks.

"Because then they know who it is, and I... I don't want that. Who knows what kind of attention or-or danger that could bring." Peter says.

"Danger to who?" Y/N asks.

"Me. Us." Peter says.

"When did this happen?" Y/N asks.

"I... I might've snuck into Oscorp one day... trying to find stuff out about my parents. I snuck into a lab that had genetically altered spiders and one kind of, you know, bit me. And I woke up and could do stuff."

"When did you decide to start using the powers?" Y/N asks. "Once you learned how to control them, at least. Assuming you didn't have instant control."

"Look, can we just talk about this later? I don't... I'm not in the mood." Peter says.

"Oh, come on. I just found out you've been Spider-Man, you're gonna make me lie to everybody, you've been keeping this secret and God knows how many more from me, and you want me to let it go?"

"Okay, okay. After... after Uncle Ben, I... I started to look for the robber who-- who, you know..." He doesn't really want to say it.

"Who killed my father, yeah." Y/N forces a pained smile. "Go on."

"I... and I started trying to find the one that did it. And at some point I made the suit and-and the web shooters and I became Spider-Man and... well, I'm still looking for the robber, but I'm also now Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. Fighting crime. With no true identity."

"You know my dad wasn't your fault, right?" Y/N asks.

"He was out looking for me, so--"

"Pete..."

"Rather it was my fault or not, I'm finding the guy that killed him, okay?!" Peter snaps.

"You're also putting yourself in danger. Especially going after the guy." Y/N argues.

"Well, you and Aunt May were pretty broken up that night. I can't... I can't just let him live with it." Peter says.

"You're gonna kill him?" Y/N asks.

"I'll probably just turn him in." Peter says.

"You're a dumbass." Y/N says.

"Just promise me you won't tell anybody." Peter pleads.

"Fine. I promise." Y/N says.

"Pinky." Peter holds his pinky out.

"Really?" She asks.

"You're the one who started it." Peter counters. Y/N rolls her eyes, but links her pinky with his. "Just don't die on me, please."

"I won't." Peter assures. "So... Harry Potter?"

"No. No, uh... I think I'm just gonna... stay in my room tonight. See you tomorrow... or whenever." Y/N says, unlocking the door and leaving.

- - -

A few days later, Peter gets home from school, immediately greeted by May.

"Where were you last night?" She asks.

"Wha-- where was I?" Peter asks.

"Yes. Yes, where were you?" May repeats the question.

"I, um... I, uh--"

"He was up on the roof. You know, how we always used to sneak up there as kids." Y/N says, quickly walking up.

"Right. Right. Yeah... yeah, I was... I was there." Peter nods.

"Wha-- why?" May asks.

"He got too hot in his room. And he lost track of time and fell asleep." Y/N says.

"I-- just don't do it again." May says.

"Got it." Peter says.

May looks between the two before just sighing and leaving, shaking her head muttering under her breath.

"The roof?" Peter mumbles.

"What, because it's too much of a lie? We used to do that all the time." Y/N says.

"Yeah, but... still, really?" Peter asks.

"Come on." Y/N grabs his arm, dragging him to his room. Y/N shuts and locks the door. "Okay, so I've been thinking and I'm gonna help you."

"help me with what?" Peter asks.

"Being Spider-Man." Y/n says.

"What?" Peter chuckles.

"Yeah." Y/N nods.

"No. No, no. I'm... you don't have any, you know, powers or anything." Peter says. "And I'm not taking you straight into danger."

"Not like that. Just like... you know, I can lie for you. Make up excuses when mom asks where you are. Or-or help you with injuries. Surely, you get hurt... which makes me feel worse about this whole Spider-Man thing, but, uh, you know. Or if you need help figuring something out."

"I can make my own excuses." Peter says.

"Yeah, but you suck at them." Y/N says.

"Wha-- no I don't." Peter frowns.

"You told mom you were fixing my bike one time." Y/N says.

"Yeah, and?" Peter asks, not seeing the issue.

"I haven't had a bike since I was twelve." Y/N says.

"I thought it was good." Peter mumbles.

"Yeah, maybe if I still had a bike." Y/N says. "Oh! And I can help you make more web fluid shooting things."

"You're failing science." Peter reminds.

"Because you have no time to help me and the tutors at my school are assholes." Y/N retorts. "And fine, not that, but everything else."

"Y/N..." Peter sighs.

"Oh, come on. I wouldn't even have to leave my room for any of it. It's like... like I'm your, uh... oh! Your girl in the chair." Y/N grins.

"Girl in the chair?" Peter echoes.

"Yeah!" Y/N nods.

"Okay, if it's... just stuff like that... which can be done from inside the house... then, fine." Peter agrees making Y/N grin.

- - -

As time went on, Y/N continued to make up excuses for why Peter wouldn't be somewhere, but always making sure they were excuses that didn't sound dangerous. She helped him with whatever injuries he got, quickly becoming skilled in the patching up process.

Y/N is sitting in her room and staring at her science homework with the most confused expression on her face.

"Y/N? Honey?" Her mother knocks on the door before opening it. "Sweetie, do you know where Peter is?"

"Oh, he's, um... he's... I wanted some ice cream. So I made him go get it." Y/N says.

"You made him get it?" May asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I am a teenage girl in the 21st century. It's... it's dangerous out there. He offered, as well." Y/N says.

"Oh... okay. Just... let me know when he gets back. I'll be in my room." May says.

"Got it." Y/N nods, smiling at her mom. May softly smiles at her before leaving, shutting the door behind her.

"That one was actually pretty good." Y/N mutters.

A few minutes later, there's a knock on Y/N's window. She looks over, finding Peter in his Spider-Man suit, but she can see his face, able to spot the multiple cuts on his face.

"Oh, my God!" She exclaims, rushing to the window. She unlocks it, pushing it open. "What the hell happened to your face?" She asks as he climbs in.

"Nice to see you, too." Peter sarcastically smiles.

"Your chest is bleeding." Y/N points out.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know." Peter says.

"Y/N?" They hear May call out. "Honey, you all right?"

"Yes!" Y/N yells, rushing to the door. Peter hides in the closet as the door starts to open, Y/N quickly getting there, stopping her mom from opening it any further. "Yeah. Yes. I'm... I'm great."

"Why were you yelling?" May asks.

"Oh, I was just... I finally understood something in science." Y/N says.

"Oh. That's great, darling." May smiles.

"Yep." Y/N smiles.

"Okay. Keep it up." May says.

"Will do." Y/N says, watching her mom walk off. She sighs, shutting the door and putting a chair in front of it to block it. She turns to Peter who walks out of the closet.

"That might be your stupidest lie yet." Peter teases.

"You know, disinfectant stings. And I'm gonna be the one holding it." Y/N says.

"Sorry." Peter quickly says.

"Yeah." Y/N nods. "Bed." Peter sits on her bed and Y/N gets the first aid kit out of her desk. Y/N grabs her desk chair and puts it in front of Peter and sits on it. She puts the kit next to him and starts cleaning up the injuries on his face. She finishes with his face.

"Okay... take the top part of your suit off." Y/N orders.

"What?" Peter asks.

"I need to clean the wound on your chest. Unless you'd like to continue bleeding." Y/N says.

"I... it'll heal soon. What's the point?" Peter says.

"Pete, I'm your cousin, I've seen you shirtless before." Y/N says. "it's not a big deal."

"Fine." Peter grumbles, taking the top part of his suit off, letting it fall onto the bed. Y/N starts to clean the cut, Peter hissing in pain at the disinfectant. He squirms a little in discomfort.

"Stop being a baby." Y/N chides. Peter quietly mocks her. Y/N presses the cloth with disinfectant harder on his chest, making him let out a quiet cry of pain.

"Ow! God, Y/N. Jesus!" He whispers, pushing her hand away.

"I warned you to watch what you say." Y/N says. She continues to clean his wound.

"I have a question." Peter says.

"What?" Y/N asks.

"Why do you do this?" Peter asks.

"Do what?" Y/N asks.

"Help me." Peter says.

"Why would I not?" Y/N asks.

"You just didn't seem... you know, super supportive of the whole thing." Peter says.

"Well... I figured if you're gonna be brave and stupid, I'd be stupid with you." Y/N says.

"Cool." Peter mumbles. "You're brave, too."

"Well, I'm not the one fighting crime, am I?" Y/N retorts.

"Yeah, but you don't have to be... you know, a cop or-or another sort of crime fighter or something to be brave." Peter says.

"Well, thanks." Y/N mumbles. "There. Done."

"Thank you." Peter tells her.

"Help me with science homework?" Y/N hopefully asks.

"Fine." Peter lightly rolls his eyes.

Peter went to change into pajamas while Y/N sits back at her desk and puts the first aid kit up. Peter soon returns and grabs a chair, sitting next to her.

"What do you not get?" Peter asks.

"Everything." Y/N states.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse

#peter parker #peter parker x cousin reader #peter parker x cousin!reader #peter parker andrew garfield #andrew garfield

[soupdeewoop]

favorite lines from "THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT"

your wife waters flowers, i want to kill her

All my mornings are monday stuck in an endless february

but you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down the road

we're modern idiots

You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate

i scratch your head, you fall asleep, like a tattooed golden retriever

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me, but you told lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave

'cause it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night, I shouldve known it was a matter of time

'cause i knew too much, there was danger in the heat of my touch, he saw forever so he smashed it up

did you really beam me up?, in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on, tell me I was the chosen one, showed me that this world is bigger than us, then sent me back where I came from

now im down bad crying at the gym, everything comes out teenage petulance, "fuck it if I cant have him", "I might just die, it would make no difference"

how dare you think its romantic, leaving me safe and stranded

my spine split from carrying us up to the hill, wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill

thinking how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me? oh the tragedy

i stopped cpr, after all its no use

two graves, one gun, ill find someone

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? i died on the alter waiting for the proof

i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you

id rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', ill tell you something 'bout my good name, its mine along with all the disgrace, I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empire's clothing

there's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles

my friends tried, but i wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing, for just one glimse of his smile

another summer, taking cover, rolling thunder, he doesnt understand me, splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter, he was with her in dreams

little did you know you home's really only a town youre just a guest in

florida, is one hell of a drug, florida, can I use you up?

little did you know your home's really only the town youll get arrested, so pack your life away just to wait out the shitstorm back in texas

i need to forget, so take me to florida, ive got some regrets, ill bury them in florida, tell me I'm despicable, say its unforgivable, at least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, florida

go on, fuck me up

this cage was once just fine, am i allowed to cry?

what if hes written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

these fatal fantasie given way to laboured breath taking all of me, weve already done in my head

what if the way you hold me is actually whats holy?

they dont know how youve haunted me so stunningly, i choose you and me, religiously

if you wanted me dead you shouldve just said

crash the party like a record crash as i scream, "whos afraid of little old me?", you should be

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me, you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

you caged me and then you called me crazy, i am what i am 'cause you trained me, so whos afraid of me?

they shake their heads saying, "god, help her" when i tell 'em hes my man

ill show you heaven if youll be an angel, all mine

whoa, maybe i cant

i thought i was better safe than starry-eyed

if you know it in one glimpse, its legendary, you and i go from one kiss to getting married

you shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles, i wish i could unrecall, how we almost had it all

youre the loss of my life

the lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, i can show you lies

'cause im a real tough kid, i can handle my shit, they said "babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" and i did

lights, camera, bitch, smile, even when you wanna die

im so depressed, i act like its my birthday everday

'cause im miserable (haha), and nobody even knows, try and come for my job

and i dont even want you back, i just want to know, if rusting my sparking summer was the goal

you didnt measure up in any measure of a man

in fifty years will all this be declassifed?, and ill say, "good riddance"

i wouldve died for youre sins, instead i just died inside

so when i touch down, call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team

'cause the sign on your heart said its still reserved for me, honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

he jokes that "its heroin, but this time with an E"

you look like clara bow

this town is fake but youre the real thing, breath of fresh ait through smoke rings

the crowd goes wild at her fingertip, half moon shine, a full eclipse

youre the new god were worshipping, promise to be dazzling

beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more

you look like taylor swift, in this light, were loving it, youve got edge, she never did, the futures bright, dazzling

#taylor swift #taylornation #the tortured poets department #ttpd #taylor swift ttpd #ts ttpd #ttpd era #ttpd spoilers #fornight #my boy only breaks his favourite toys #down bad #so long london #but daddy i love him #fresh out the slammer #florida!!! #i can fix him (no really i can) #loml #icdiwabh #the smallest man who ever lived #the alchemy #clara bow #soups in her ttpd era (bear with her)