#although yes i WILL still do the shopping because i'm an adult

[tomhardyspinkyfinger]

The Good Girl and the Gangster: 3

Summary: Y/N is sick of being the good girl. Alfie puts her back in her place when she acts up.

A/N: Chapter 3! we gettin a lil slutty yall. Just how I like it. Let me know what you think! Shorter chapter this time but I have a break from work and school so hopefully I can get some more chapters up soon! Please please tell me what you think! Your feedback means a lot to me!

Tags: @woofgocows @buttercup32sstuff @rikki-b-lake

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2

It had been a week since I'd seen Alfie. I tried to forget about it and move on, I actually tried to spend time with Jacob, but the proved to be futile.

We had gone to a museum and lunch, both of which were boring and irritating. He spoke over me and explained everything to me as if I were a child. I spent the whole day comparing him to Alfie, Alfie respected what I had to say and never spoke over me. I tried to stop comparing them, especially because I was livid with Alfie, but I couldn't help it.

I sat at the dining room table early in the morning, nibbling at the strawberry on my fork. My mother sat next to me while my father read the paper at the head of the table.

"How was your day with Jacob sweetheart?" Mother questioned.

"Fine." I mumbled, refusing to look at her. She moved on to terrorizing my father.

"Darling, you've been spending quite a bit of time with Mr. Solomons, have you had a change of heart." I hid my reaction of shock but looked at my father for his response.

"No darling, I still think he is a criminal and I disagree with his way of life but he is putting in the effort to become a holier man, so I will assist him on that journey. He came to me recently with concerns about his desires." My father spoke, sipping his coffee.

"He did?" I questioned. My father put down his newspaper and my mother looked at me.

"I just- he's been very kind to me. I worry he is, straying ... away from gods light." I attempted to cover up my interest.

"That is kind of you to worry my love, he says he feels sinful desires towards a betrothed lady and is turning to god for help. I respect him for working on his issues. The criminality is a different issue entirely." My father spoke, going back to his paper.

"I disagree. Making your way is difficult, although I am not defending criminal acts, Alfie- Mr. Solomons has done a lot of good for Camden Town." I defended.

"Y/N-" My mother started.

"I suppose you're right, he has done good. I disagree with his methods but I respect him as a man. Can't imagine what that poor girls father would think if he ever found out his betrothed child was sinning with a gangster." My father shook his head.

"Well, god makes everyone and makes no mistakes so, maybe it isn't as bad as it seems." I spoke, putting my fork down, too unsettled to eat.

"Mm." My father grumbled, going back to his paper. My mother and father began talking and I zoned out,

I really need to stop thinking about Alfie. But clearly he's thinking about me. I wonder what kind of desires? Considering what I felt against my leg when we kissed, his desires are probably similar to mine. Maybe he wants me still? Maybe I should go see him- No! I'm betrothed to Jacob. Gag me. Maybe I'll fall in love with him-

"Yes, I am going to the temple in Camden Town to help set up a charity-"

"Can I come?" I cut my father off. My parents looked at me weird for the second time this morning.

"I just, I want to see the temple there and maybe walk around the shops." I defended.

"I don't know honey, that area isn't very-"

"Nonsense love, our girl is an adult. Yes darling, you can come with me and explore a bit while I work." My father accepted.

"Thank you father." I kissed his cheek and went to get ready.

After a bit of driving, father and I parked in front of the temple. Camden Town was.. different. Smog filled the blue skies and left it a hazy grey. The working area was dirty and filled with dirtier men doing hard labor. I entered the temple ad introduced myself to the Rabbi and helped set up for a while before kissing my fathers cheek and excusing myself to explore.

I wandered the streets, entering a shop every now and then while arguing with myself.

Don't go see him. He left you. You need to move on. Just because he makes you feel -

I looked up and saw I had wondered to the bakery Alfie works in.

Well I'm already here, it wouldn't make sense to leave. I can also cut him a new one for abandoning me.

I entered the bakery and was met with heat from the machinery and a bitter scent that burned my nose. The men looked at me in confusion and desire. I wandered around a bit before stopping a gentlemen taking a break.

"Hello, is Mr. Solomons here?" He nodded and directed me to an office upstairs. I walked up to the glass door with the blinds pulled down and was stopped by a young man.

"Ma'am! You can't go in without an appointment." He exclaimed. I smiled.

"He's expecting me." I opened the door and entered the office, shutting it behind me. There he sat, feet propped up on the desk and hat tipped low, his glasses resting on his nose as he scanned the paper in his hands.

"Ollie, fuck off mate." His voice called out, yet to look up.

"I should be the one saying that to you, but here I am." I spoke. He looked up at me and tossed his paper on the desk, sitting up and putting his legs down.

"What're you doin' 'ere?" He questioned, his hands intertwined as he looked at me over his glasses.

"I was in the area, figured I 'd stop by." I spoke, exploring the office and messing with the shelves and drawers.

"Go ahead treacle." He spoke. I huffed.

"Don't act like you know why I'm here." I crossed my arms and faced him, now closer to his desk.

"I do. You want to know why I left."

"Why did you leave?" I questioned, giving in. He sighed, removing his hat and glasses.

"You're gettin' married." He spoke simply.

"As if that bothers you, that's an excuse. You're just a scared little boy Alfie." I snapped. He grunted.

"That's enough." He commanded.

"Is it? Is it enough?" I questioned.

"You're a fuckin' child, treacle. A prissy child, ain't got no business bein' around me." He explained. I felt my rage boiling over.

"Fuck you! You're the one person who didn't treat me like a baby. You want an adult? A grown woman who does grown things? Fine." I spoke, grabbing the bottle of what I assume id alcohol off his desk and pouring myself a glass. He watched silently as I downed the contents in the glass.

What the fuck is this?!

It burned tremendously and hurt going down my throat. I hid my reaction as best I could, pushing down the amber liquid and gagging a bit.

"Feel better?" He questioned, leaning back in his chair and placing his hands over his stomach. I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck you, Alfie." I spoke. Now that I've started cursing it's hard to stop.

"An' you think you're an adult, right? Doin' a shit job at provin' it, love." He spoke, still not giving me any reaction.

"You're still deflecting! You're scared! You haven't given me any real reason why you left. You're a scared cunt! Can't handle a 'child' like me clearly! Even though you're the one who kissed me, Alfie. You're a fucking jerk-" Alfie was up from his desk, storming over to me and grabbing me by the neck, looking down at me with an intense eyes. Got him.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth, treacle. I'm not fuckin' daft. I know what you want. You're going to be a good girl an' ask for it." Alfie demanded, his grip on my neck making my stomach flutter with lust.

"Kiss me please. I-I can't stop thinking about you." I spoke, my voice above a whisper. Alfie smashed his lips on mine. I reacted instantly and kissed back, putting my hands around his neck. He removed his hand from my neck and put them around my waist, hoisting me up and putting me on the desk. He started kissing my neck and speaking between kisses,

"Can't stop thinkin' about you, treacle. Night n' fuckin' day. You come in here beggin' me to play with you and I can't fuckin' resist." He grumbled out, his plump lips wetting my exposed collarbone. I moaned quietly and wrapped my legs around his waist, beginning to gently move my hips against his. He pulled away and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look in his eyes.

"Tell me what you want, dove." He instructed. I whined a bit.

"T-touch me, please." I whispered. He shook his head.

"Where do you want me?" He pressed.

"I want your fingers.. please." I all but pleaded. He put his hand up my skirt and rubbed my thig before his thumb made contact with my clothed clit. I gasped and buried my face in his chest. He used his other hand and gripped my hair firmly, pulling me back to look at him as he rubbed my clit.

"Christ fuckin' soaked you are." He muttered, moving his hand to my mound and slipping it into my panties, using two fingers to rub through my wet folds. I moaned and threw my head back, moving my hips against his hand. He removed his hand and took a step back, pushing my legs open wider and getting on his knees. He pulled my panties down below my knees and bit my thigh gently.

"Alfie, please." I whimpered, my hands in his hair. He moved his lips to my clit, sucking it and drawing louder moans out of me. His kisses moved lower, his tongue entering me. I cried out and squeezed his head with my thighs. He pushed them away and moved back up to my clit.

"Can you take my finger dove?" He questioned between breaths. I nodded.

"Mhm, please Alf. I've done it a few times." I confessed. He hummed against me.

"M'sure you have." He spoke before gently pushing a finger into me while sucking my clit. I moaned out and gripped his hair tighter in my fists. I felt a bit of pressure form the size of his finger, but as he began moving it in and out I felt the pleasure overwhelm me.

"Alfie k-keep going I'm close." I moaned out, moving my hips against his face. He sped up, pulling me to the edge before slowing down again. I let out a frustrated groan.

"Tell me you're sorry for bein' a fuckin' brat. Beg me to finish off this pretty cunt." He instructed, holding down my legs and looking up at my from between my thighs.

"Fuck! Alfie. M'sorry. I didn't mean it. This is what I wanted, I was being a brat so you would snap and give me what I want. Please don't stop." I confessed. He hummed and got back to work, fingering me quicky and pushing me over the edge.

"That's right, love. So fuckin' needy ain't you?" Alfie muttered into me as I came, throwing my head back and letting out the loudest moan yet. He cleaned me up with his tongue and moved his way up my body, kissing me.

"Need you, Alfie. Please." I begged, my eyes hooded.

"Nah, ain't fuckin' you on a desk. Patience." He spoke, brushing my hair out of my flushed face. He reached underneath me and pulled my panties back up, securing them in place.

"C'mon then dove, lets go get lunch." He spoke. He gave me a few minutes to gather myself before we were walking down the streets of Camden Town.

We settled on a quaint restaurant owned by a Jewish couple Alfie knew.

"Mr. Solomons! So lovely to see you again! Who is this beautiful young lady?" An older woman exclaimed after giving Alfie a hug.

"This here is Y/N. Friend of mine." He explained. I introduced myself and she kissed my cheeks.

"Beautiful! Finally you come in here with someone! This man is a godsend. saved our business when we had money troubles." She spoke. I smiled and she showed us to our table before wandering off.

"She seems sweet. You're a good man for helping her." I spoke.

"Yeah, been comin' 'ere for years. Good woman." He spoke, deflecting the compliment.

We spent the next two hours getting to know each other and eating good food before the conversation came to a halt.

"Alfie." I spoke, swallowing my nerves. He looked at me and mumbled for me to continue.

"I don't want to marry Jacob. I want to be with you."

#alfie solomons fanfiction #tom hardy #tom hardy x reader #reader insert #tom hardy x you #fic #fluff #alfie solomons #peaky blinders alfie #alfie smut #alfie x reader #alfie

[quincyhorst]

Lance 💝

Shane 👗

Gareth 🖕

...First of all, thank you for sending this ask! 💖 REALLY improved an already stressful day for me ;v;

So, let's start! I'll reply to each emoji as best as I can. ~ Though be careful, it's been quite a long time since I've written in detail about Lance and Gareth's personalities, so there could be something I missed.

Lance: 💝 - A headcanon about their love language

If I had to describe Lance's LL, I think the best type that'd describe him for me (At least from what I have seen) would be Words of Affirmation. I think that if he were to have a crush/be attracted to someone, most of the time he'd have no issue approaching and flirting with them. Plus, he is very open with his thoughts as a whole: If he finds his crush beautiful or with any other quality he's fond of, he WILL say it out at any chance. He also likes doing physical gestures too, although only when things seem to go steady. But nonetheless, if you're dating him expect being hand-kissed at any chance.

A close second for his most common LL would be receiving gifts. Don't mind him, Lance has all the money in the world and wants to spend it on you (Be it flowers or jewelry). In fact, now onto an actual headcanon, it was during the FFI where he bought his first gift with romantic intentions; taking advantage he could finally talk with his crush without any intimidating adults (or little butler) around. He bought her a little KOQ emblem brooch... 🥺

-----

...Ok, I'll confess that when I first read the ask, I got confused with "Shane", given I had never written such a name before on this blog. But I soon realized it was Shine, so... Here you have. And if it wasn't him, then... Sorry! You can ask for another character in exchange. ;____;

Shine: 👗- A headcanon about their clothes

I'll be brief: Because his parents were constantly always working outside, Shine had barely any time to do clothes-shopping with them at all. So for the most part, his wardrobe is full of loosely picked clothes, leftover ones from his father's younger ages, OR, even some bought without even prior consultation. But being fair, not even he cares much about styles and all. What he values in clothing is actually texture and comfort, SPECIALLY considering his sensory issues.

Even as an adult, when he moved with grandma Sun he only brought with him a very limited number of clothes. Typically you'll see him on his most common look: puffy red jacket and grey baggy trousers. However in this life stage more choices of his do appear, such as him prefering to wear platform sneakers (Who knows why). If he has to buy new clothes, he'd rather go to a thrift store. Not only he likes what they sell, but he's also aware of the darker side of fast fashion and the ecological damage it causes. He is not supporting that industry at all!

...I'm aware that the ask game only said one (1) headcanon, but I'll add something extra here because I actually have a special HC for Shine when it comes to this specific topic:

On Sun's house there's many things she preserves from her past, and that includes clothes. Many decades might have passed, but her sundresses still look beautiful as ever, even to Shine himself. Keep this a secret between us, but when nobody is around he likes to try them out on himself. There isn't much to this at all; it's just simply something he enjoys doing. However, while he doesn't care about imposed genders on clothes, he's aware society still thinks otherwise. So for now, him wearing dresses is only something he'll keep to himself. And he isn't ready to share this with anyone else either :(

-----

Gareth:🖕 - A headcanon relating to anger

And finally... Remember when I wrote about how Gareth was pretty much forced to repress himself a lot? Yes, that includes many of his own emotions too, including anger; with the excuse that it looks "Impolite" on a butler. So yeah, he could hold the most intense wrath within him, and yet he'd still be forced to keep a numb face. Extremely damaging to his own mental health, unfortunately...

At school things are a bit more relaxed, so Gareth HAS some ways to express his anger if something or somebody is bothering him there. Best example is obviously aganist Lance, specially if he gets annoying with his "Lancelot kills Gareth" all over again. However, it is to clarify that when releasing it all, he'll mostly leash out, never going with any violence. Sucks, because there's many people that Gareth would like to fight, yet is aware of the family's reputation and how any action can ruin it all forever.

At least if you want something sligthly better, Gareth eventually manages to free his anger aganist the man that has forced to repress it. I won't be spoiling it much (?), BUT this is after the FFI, a time period when things around him started to get worse and worse; to a point where he just couldn't bottle it all up anymore.

...Regardless of how that specific scenario ended, it gradually led to a positive impact on his life; specially on his transition to adulthood. Around GO, I think the (former) butler would finally come on terms on his anger. He doesn't repress himself anymore and will express it when needed, but he still prefers to avoid extreme violence… Unless you threaten him or his spy partner, that's for sure.

#hc:ina11 #knights of queen #big waves (ina11) #lance rotten #shine beach #gareth barrett #Sorry if I took a while #August came for me and it shows 😭 #Hope you enjoy it anyway! #I might be busier than before; but if you want to know anything in detail feel free to ask #Also midway editing this Tumblr broke and the text got weird #If you find anything strange please tell me

[basil-touche]

27, 61, and 57 for the unusual asks!!

27. Do you have a job? What do you do?

I work in a discount shop as a part-time supervisor. Been doing it for about 4 years now (although covid meant I was in and out of isolation for my own safety for about a year so it doesn't quite feel that long). It's pretty decent in regards to it being a retail environment. It's part of a chain but it's in a garden centre a little way out of my hometown and I think that's what makes it better than my last job (which was not great to put it mildly). It just feels a bit more laid back than being on a high street and a lot of the routine maintence is on the GC itself to sort out, so there's less to worry about on that front.

The shop sells a range of items, kids toys & books, books for adults, craft, stationery etc. I also get 25% off most stock as well (sometimes they do 50% off events for staff which is super useful when it comes to present buying or stocking up on art supplies) and I bought a lot of the supplies for craft projects I post on here from work.

It's not a job I want to do forever. Now that I've recovered from my teenage years (those few years were fucking awful) I'm learning to drive (just bought my first car today!) and once I've passed I'm thinking of going back to college. Thinking about what I actually want to do in this life. I'm really into reading atm and have the urge to write as well as recently getting back into art. So history, english and art seem like possible paths to take, but there's no rushing these things.

57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

As a kid I used to get really annoyed with my Mum when she would take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels we would stay at. I thought she was stealing them. Wasn't until I was older that I learned that hotel staff will just throw away all the bottles, regardless whether or not they had been used. I think it's kinda a legal requirement to keep things sanitary? Kinda like how in resturants, you get given a knife & fork for your meal, they still wash your knife even if you never touched it. Better to be safe than sorry (or sued, I suppose).

So to actually answer the question, yes I do now. It's rather useful to have them for the next time I'm on holiday. And I'd rather not cause unnecessary waste.

61. Have you ever peed in the woods? 

A couple of times, yes. Moreso as a kid. Surprising, when I go on my longer walks in the summer, sometimes travelling 10 miles in a day, I never feel the need to relieve myself. I guess because my body is using all my energy during the hike. I can't actually remember the last time I peed in the woods (and quite honestly, I prefer to use an actual toliet if I can help it).

#asks #ask meme #replies #basil's notes #rainy-circle #thanks for being paitent with this #had to go collect my new car today

[icemankazansky]

🕯️

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

Well, I mean, the answer to that is yes. I don't want to give a non-answer to this question, but a lot of stories are hard in a lot of different ways, and a lot of them go their own way. As a writer, I rarely plan ahead much; I don't make outlines, and while I have a general idea of the shape of most stories when I begin writing them, the writing process for me and the way the story becomes is very fluid. I've spoken before about certain challenge stories that were written from requests that made me uncomfortable and that I knew would have to go someplace I didn't want to spend time, but I think honestly the stories that I have struggled with the most in both these ways are stories I have been working on for a long time but have not been able to finish. I've been working on the Top Gun Age of Sail AU for over a decade, and it's not finished, and I don't know that it ever will be. I really want to finish Vox, but it's been almost a year, and I still don't really, fully understand the shape of it and how it has to be built from here, and it's incredibly frustrating.

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

The social aspect of fandom is absolutely crucial. I mean, I love fanfiction, reading and writing it both, and creating art and gifs and other things from the media I love, and seeing the art and gifs and things other people create ... but honestly, if I was experiencing all of that in a vacuum, I think it would not be nearly as engaging or rewarding an experience as it is. I have friends I have met through fandom who are among the best friends I've ever had, people I've known for decades and are still there, still ride or die, still make me so happy every time I see their name on a post or a text message. A couple years ago, I attended the wedding reception of one of a girl I met when she left a comment on a fic I wrote. She is one of my dearest friends, and I've known her for ... shit, like 15 years now. We talk often. I know I can count on her if I need anything. She's slept on my couch and we've been to the ocean and to hug baby goats and shopping for leather goods and to eat catfish and hush puppies. When I found a lump in my breast, I called a dear friend I have known for 20-some years and met when I left a comment on a story she wrote. I was there for her when she had breast cancer, and when I was afraid I did, too, she checked in on me and reassured me and told me what to expect, and texted back and forth with me the entire time I was at the imaging center. I have movie night every week with a friend I have known for 20-some years; we have been each other's dedicated beta readers not just on fanfiction but on anything we've written for over a decade. She's in The Kilmer Cure. She is the person I usually turn to when I'm having serious mental health issues, because she has bipolar disorder, too, and she understands. We're planning to get tattoos together.

And even people I haven't known as long ... sometimes they're the only real social interaction I have all day, because I am chronically ill and I am mentally ill and because I am an introvert and all the other reasons it's so hard to get together with people in real life often when you're an adult. And speaking to them, about fandom, about anything, is a huge source of enrichment and comfort and joy to me. And I am not a social person. I do have social anxiety. (Although it's gotten better as I've gotten older and as I've gotten treatment for PTSD, which affects that way more than I thought it did.) But I think one of the great things about fandom relationships via the internet is that you can do things at your own pace. You're not on the spot. If you don't have the spoons for interaction one day, you don't have to reply to that comment right now. You can do it tomorrow. You can watch the conversation in Discord, but you don't have to join in if you're not up to it. And everyone's in different time zones and on different schedules, so everyone's kind of just coming in and participating how and when they can.

#asks answered #hell i got a lot of friends #fandom #fanfiction #writing #long post #fic memes

[bournetoad]

Something I'm jealous of ladies is the wildly large range of wardrobe and hairstyles you can play with. Wild range of makeup, clothes matching, and hairstyles to give completely different tones and vibes.

I'm not saying about wearing traditional clothes and going goth the next day. But just having flowy hair at casual setting and tying a ponytail through the back hoop of a cap when jogging.

I know men can do that too, and I'm doing it, just super slowly.

My parents, although well off, are very careful with money. I think it's ingrained habits left when we were not well off and when my dad was working his butt off.

We always buyed Grade D eggs or lower. I don't like omelet anymore because breaking eggs is like Kinder Eggs Surprise where you can either get a yolk or a rotting fetus. I'd say, "ma, we got stop doing this".

Clothes have always been hands-me-downs. Shirts always baggy and pants always loose because if you buy a size bigger, they'll last years longer. Sometimes, I feel like we are villagers living on a million dollar property.

When I was 22 like Taylor Swift sang about, studied abroad, and got my first green dollars, I was like "no ma, I want fitting clothes". Hell, I want them tight.

Carried the new shiny buckos and got myself 5 different coloured plain shirts from Uniqlo. Spending AU$50 for 5 shirts felt like heresy at the time. Felt like my ma was giving me disapproving looks through the receipt.

I'm not a sexy man but I felt the confidence of going on the catwalk. Self consciousness of trying to be invisible changed to are these people giving me admired looks? Like I'm too sexy for Milan but milder. I wasn't hot but I felt dangerous. Nah, actualIy I felt kinda hot.

Kept a long hair instead of the buzz cut I was told to have for 21 years. I wished I could go to the barber and they would have a Venom Snake MGSV poster beside the big mirrors, and I'll put my pointing finger on that, It'll make a light thwack, and I'll say "I'll have it like that".

I still am trying to build the habit of buying good fashion items. Trying to break the feeling of if I make a tiny financial mistake here, the bad decisions will compound and I'll declare bankruptcy. Habit of too much research before buying something, I end up not buying anything.

Yeah, I got some savvy money skills out of my upbringing but hell, it feels crippling most of the time.

So yes, I'll buy that specific conditioner from a specific brand because of its specific ingredient to address a specific issue with my hair. I'm trying to give myself less guilt over it.

Yeah, I'll join my friends to dinner at that place where it feels like the food price is more to fund the shop's aesthetic rather than to cover the meal cost.

Being a young adult gives some problems but damn I never had this much disposable income to fund my solutions. I'm mid-miserable but at the happiest point of my life right now. Your boy got coffers.

And yeah, I wanna be kinda sexy. Fuckin dress up, bitch.

#mgsv #fashion #women #frugal #Linkin Park's breaking the habit

[matildesimaoblog]

new beginnings

September 13th - 24th

Last spring, I registered for a French semester in Paris. I translated necessary documents, took an entry-level exam while I was in Dublin, booked an Airbnb, and bought a surprisingly cheap TGV ticket.

I arrived on Wednesday, September 13th with two heavy suitcases and intermediate French, which I hadn't practiced since my language stay in Nice last April. To say that it was a struggle to carry my luggage from la Gare de Lyon to the other side of Paris, specifically the 7th arrondissement, might be an understatement. Because I've been to Paris multiple times, I'm familiar with the number of stairs in every metro station. This city's public transport clearly wasn't designed for travelers and little girls like me who don’t have a single strong muscle in their body. Before my departure, I had the fantastic idea to take the bus to my Airbnb because a) there wouldn't be any stairs involved, and b) it would be more affordable than a taxi or an Uber. Although I think the bus journey to my accommodation was easier, I still arrived sweaty and exhausted. So, even though I kind of recommend taking the bus instead of the metro when you arrive in Paris, don't expect it to be effortless.

As I've mentioned, I'm here in Paris to study and improve my French. I chose to do this semester because next year I would like to pursue a Bachelor's degree (une licence) in France, and to do that, I have to have at least a B2 level of French to enter a higher education institution. Currently, I'm studying at the Sorbonne Nouvelle University, which offers a variety of diplomas such as the Diplôme Universitaire de Langue Française (DULF) that I'm pursuing.

The evening I arrived, I went grocery shopping. I had to go to 5 different stores because the selection of products was small, and they didn't really have what I wanted. It turns out that not every Carrefour is the same. Apparently, there are different types, such as Carrefour City, Carrefour Express, which is even smaller, and Carrefour Marché, which I later found on Google Maps. Based on my personal grocery shopping experience, I thought the Carrefour Marché in the 6th arrondissement was the best one. They have a wide variety of items. During my first week, I found myself in that grocery store multiple times, and you might think I'm crazy, but I'm convinced that grocery shopping is a new hobby of mine. Is buying food a necessity? Yes. Would a normal human being therefore consider it a hobby? No. But the argument in favor of it being a valid hobby is that I definitely enjoy it more than the average person. So yes, basically, I have a new pastime.

Before my classes began, I had a few days to get some things done. I bought my Navigopass and a French SIM card, which caused me a few issues. Somehow, there was another person using the same French number as me because when I changed my number on WhatsApp, I was added to over twenty random group chats. I figured the only thing I could do was go to the store and explain the situation. Until then, I spent my time deleting a large unnecessary number of group chats with identical names. Like, how many "Paris to Miami" groups do you need?! Eventually, my problem was fixed by simply getting a new number again.

On the weekend, I visited the Musée Rodin, which I hadn't been to before. I was obsessed with the architecture, and besides the multiple statues, they had some incredible paintings. After walking around the museum, I sat in the garden for a while to read and enjoy the quiet. To my surprise, I saw a rat — my second one so far. When I was here in 2020, I had my first experience while walking along the Jardin des Tuileries. I also had the opportunity to visit the Bibliothèque Sainte-Geneviève, the most beautiful library I've ever seen, because of the journées européennes du patrimoine that were happening in Paris.

During my first week in Paris, I started to face the reality of being an adult. Having to cook for myself on a daily basis is exhausting. I really don't understand how my parents and other adults I know were able to do it for so long. Furthermore, I'm trying to be financially responsible with my money because I haven't gotten a job yet, and life in Paris is expensive. I think living alone in general is something I'm getting used to. I had a few moments where I felt alone, especially before making friends. Considering the fact that I'm an introvert, I'm not always motivated to be social, which was the case during this first week. But sometimes, it can get lonely. I suppose I'm trying to make new connections, but I should probably still consider that spending time on my own can have a positive effect on my well-being as well.

This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, which I will try to capture in short videos and almost weekly updates in the form of a blog post. Enjoy!

#blog #paris #new beginnings

[awonderlandsystem]

Eva's Thoughts

To say this has been difficult would be an understatement. A new place, a lack of familiarity, or grounding items. I feel quite lost most days.

Ikelos and I over-apologize for everything and walk on eggshells still. Zoe keeps trying to get our mother's attention but there's a level of awkwardness as her personality is quite different.

We often hear things such as- "I don't think you ever really grew up." "You can be so childish sometimes." "Do you know how to behave like an adult?" And the such. Sometimes it does bother her. The rest of us don't quite know how to respond to it.

I'm quite the opposite and strive quite hard to be seen as an independent and responsible adult. Which is rather hard when Zoe is going through stores riding on shopping buggies as if they're toys.

Thankfully we've all been united on finding a sense of stability for the children. While Zoe and Ikelos don't enjoy being the strict parental figure, they've come to understand the necessity in breaking many of these poor habits the children have developed.

Eventually, I will get Zoe to remember fruits and vegetables at lunch instead of cupcakes and honey buns.

Although no matter how hard we push it seems he's still waiting, ready to kick us down. I hate that I allow him this power over me. I sat arguing with him today, losing my temper rapidly when my sister Brittany had to put a stop to it for the sake of my sanity.

I was so rattled by his words that I threw myself into chores and childcare. Help still can't seem to be found as we've now had two therapists cancel appointments with us without explanation.

I want to scream. I truly do. Scream and cry at the sky until something changes because it truly feels like these mountains we move will not stop reforming to block us. One step forward and two back, the saying that comes to mind. It calls into question if we'll ever truly find a sense of security and comfort.

I'm not throwing in the towel but damnit I've considered it. Then I think of every time I have given up and how little that has done for me. It feels like dredging through high water and losing myself to the waves only to return a moment later to struggle for air.

Will it ever get easier? He seems intent on making this as difficult as possible. He's trying to convince the children I should be in jail. He's trying to buy their love as he has hundreds of dollars and we have nothing.

Yes, I quite want to scream. When I was a child and stuck in the middle of the conflicts between my parents, I would run to the forest. I would run until my legs refused to carry me anymore and then I would simply scream until I was sobbing.

I was a silly girl who believed in magic and gods. I would beg for the help of the Greek Gods, beg them to whisk me away, to change my fate. I would curse at them, blaming them for my woes and accusing them of letting the world down.

These days I don't believe in much. Ikelos believes in reincarnation. Zoe believes in Neverland and the idea of living forever. My dear sister still believes in Heaven and Hell. Amaranth believes in the power of the universe, the Mother Earth, and the Norse mythology. I don't quite know what to put my faith in.

I'm trying quite hard to put all of that belief into us. I need a win. Not a simple pat on the back over an application being finished, or paperwork being faxed.

I need a big win, something that will make me feel like I will have control over this life. Not a negative bank account with hopes that there will be a deposit into in a week. Not his threats and constant intimidation. Not crammed into a small room with three children with a broken fucking bunk bed that I'm unsure how to fix.

I need to feel good about something. I truly do.

#eva

[ohcanadashop]

Women's Favorite Trend in Fashion || OhCanadaShop

You could think that wearing a sweatshirt with basic sweatpants is too straightforward, but trust me, it's more complicated than that. It is a look that is appropriate for wearing in almost any place, including the office, the shopping, the gym, and even on a date! To get the ideal look, just add the proper shoes and accessories. You should be aware that a hoodie and sweatpants are both relatively casual outfits before styling them together. You must therefore pair them with your most casual pairs of shoes. Wearing the clothing, for instance, with high heels will create a contrast.

At ohcanadashop.com, browse the 2023 collection of comfy Canadian hoodies for adult created by creative designers. Different shapes, colors, and sizes Get your desired Canada design right away! All of the clothing on the list below is easily accessible for purchase at retail establishments across the nation. These things can also be acquired online or used at nearby thrift shops.

To get a more carefree and laid-back vibe while maintaining a polished appearance, wear this outfit with your favorite sneakers. Sweatpants are pretty casual clothing items, so you may substitute some plain neutral-colored trousers and a pair of oxfords for them to give you a more office-appropriate style while maintaining a casual, at-ease appearance.

Moreover, be sure that your accessories coordinate with the rest of your dress and enhance it. Never skip a good beanie or cap, or a simple jewelry set, even if you want to appear comfortable and informal. Avoiding these essential finishing touches for your attire will transform your carefree appearance into a no-effort at one. The desired look is casual and stylish, not barely awake and out of bed!

You know those attires you don't consider to be particularly stylish? Yes, I am aware that this is a difficult question, but I'm sure there are a few, such as sweatpants, t-shirts for around-the-house use, or women's hoodies for working out or going shopping. We had no idea that the things we take for granted are actually the most crucial. delve deeply Who knew that when I go to work out in gym class, I actually don one of those women's hoodies? a lot of delusions Hoodies are trendy right now, says the newest fashion trend.

Yeah, not the newest. Although still standing, it is more like 2023; thus, this post. To be really honest with you, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that hoodies for women were such a huge trend a year ago and still are now since, well, hello! Everyone is infatuated with athletic, sports-luxe, effortlessly cool, and gangsta-glam outfits.

First of all, women's hoodies are nothing new; they only appear to be so because of the way we choose to wear them and since fashion in general is now more diverse or acceptable. Nowadays, street style and individual style are everything, with a strong focus on the adage that "everything goes with anything." If you want, consider it a middle finger to the norms of fashion. Women's hoodies come in second. the fixation with fitness and athletics that seems to transcend physical appearances and is something we all have these days.

Hello, sportswear for the gym. Nowadays, sportswear is so trendy and cool that you can wear it outside of the gym. Of course, this is the situation with women's hoodies. Leggings, crop tops, mesh materials, baseball caps, and sweatpants are all components of a look that is very casual yet stylish.

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#comfy #Canadian hoodies #for adult #women

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Yesterday was the last benchmark test of the year. The kids were already done because tomorrow starts Christmas break after half a day of classes. The kids were horrible. Four boys in particular. They ruin it for the entire class every time and I have them every time we test which means every time we test I have them in my classroom all day.

Yesterday I was almost in tears I ended up having to call both parents of one boy because I just could not take it anymore. This boy is very smart and probably very gifted. He also spews the most racist, hateful, nasty filth I have ever heard from a kid his age. And he thinks it's the coolest thing in the world. I have tried every kind of reasoning tactic. I have told him it's wrong. I have told him that when he gets older he will never be able to hold a job because no one is going to allow him to say things like that to the public and even the employees will get tired of it at some point. I have told him he will get beaten up or worse by continuing to say things like that to people. He told me he was not afraid of that because he was able to fight pretty well. So I told him as an adult if he was going to spend his whole life fighting he was probably going to be seeing a lot of jail time. He told me cops did not worry him because all of his dad's friends were cops so he was not afraid of going to jail.

I just.....

And the thing is I had his sister 2 years ago and she was just as smart as him and the most wonderful person you would ever want to meet. From talking to his dad I don't think all this racist stuff is coming from them. He also makes pornographic moans in the middle of class and if we use any kind of computer software like Kahoot or Quizlet he signs in with stuff like.

I'mYourDaddy69.

He is disrespectful and argumentative and I am just done with having to deal with him on a daily basis and then for 8 hours straight on the days that we test.

We were not told we were going to have a Christmas party in our class for homeroom until the very last minute. I did not even know we were going to have it because they never mentioned it before. And last year they would have given us at least a month's notice if not more to contact parents. This time they gave us less than a week. Normally we would have had time to figure out if we were going to have everybody bring something from home like sandwiches or order pizza.

Most of the kids only wanted to bring chips and then I knew they were going to complain if that's the only thing they had to eat.

Finally six kids out of 20 stepped up and donated money and one kid donated $20 and that's pretty much the only reason we had money to order actual food. But again if administration had let us know in enough time we could have had so much more done.

In years past I took enough extra food home from those parties to feed myself during the entire Christmas break because of how much food the kids brought and I'm not talking anything fancy I'm talking bologna sandwiches or peanut butters sandwiches are tuna sandwiches just huge amounts of them period.

So on top of all other kinds of running around I had to go and pay for pizza .

oh yes, and then I did Secret Santa this year because I didn't do it last year and I kind of felt left out, so that was additionally more running around because our secret santa here gets a different gift every day of the week.

This week between testing and errands I have also had to do shopping, I have had to bake 4 dozen cookies for our turn as a dept to put treats in the lounge,

I am still slogging my way through a 30 hour GT course that I have to have done by Friday which no one told me I had to have done by Friday until last Thursday.

And then I am trying to finish up putting together and wrapping the 58 gift bags I have for the nursing home.

I still did not get anyone in the community to donate although the teachers made up a lot of the deficit. I had one teacher that bought about $100 worth of stuff to donate with me I had another teacher give me $40 and another teacher give me 20.

There are so many places here in town that could have easily donated 50 or $100 but they're not going to because they don't Market themselves to old people in nursing homes and that would be the only promotional perk they would get from it. And it really sucks that people will only give something away in order to get a promotion out of it.

So that has been my week!

#teaching in tx #teaching #teacher life #teacher problems #christmas #donation drive #long post #job rant

[deputychairman]

The Curse of the eldest daughter is that is segues so naturally into being a Wife, you know in the old fashioned way, where you’re somebody’s helpmeet and I feel like I played myself ending up here. There must’ve been a point I could have been, look, let’s divide up the things that need doing so that it’s approximately fair, and also if *you* feel the need to yell at everyone and go apeshit sometimes well ok then, sounds fun, in the interest of a balanced working relationship I guess I will do the same and expect the same lack of fallout from it? I don’t enjoy conflict, I don’t feel that shouting at kids is effective parenting or discipline, and if they lose their shit at me they are still children, I can get my stern mum voice on and tell them they’ve hurt me or each other or are behaving inappropriately, but I’m the adult and I have the power and as we know with great power comes great responsibility, so I must and will keep *my* shit together when i react to them. (You’ll notice I’m having an argument with someone who isn’t here.) However I hold another adult to a higher standard than a 10 & 12 year old!!!!!

And all this is because I’m working while he’s on Week 10 of teacher summer holidays and I asked if he could perform the 2 simple tasks of buying rabbit food (10 min round trip) and the heating gas our water heater uses (15 min round trip: these are big heavy gas canisters and I always do it and I can manage fine but any time a male neighbour sees me he’ll insist on helping, not sure what my point was there uhhh maybe that if you want to play the Strong Man in my life perhaps you could do it in ways that are actually helpful? You have more upper body strength than me but the 60 yr old guy on the 5th floor is helping me instead? Isn’t that like, an insult to the version of masculinity you’ve chosen to perform?) and then I had the gall to say that if we’re going to this christening you only told me about on Wednesday then the kids need shoes that aren’t flip flops, I’ll do that after work. But having been asked to perform the 12 Tasks of Hercules already (aka rabbit food & gas), he proceeded to hear “YOU must buy them shoes” and lost his shit, yelling & insulting us like excuse me WHAT?

And I didn’t react at the time because his mum was there and she and I could exchange knowing eye contact, but honestly how DARE you play GTA for 2 months while I work and cook and do all the washing up & laundry and take the kids out and drive them to their friends’ houses and try to have one (1) friend here in your country who I see with the kids so it’s not even like you have to look after them when I’m out, and then act aggrieved when I ask for 2 incredibly easy errands!!!! Which you could’ve said no to, we had cold showers on Thursday, it’s really hot it was fine! The rabbits can just eat hay they’re also fine!

And I am sympathetic, like I can see the world and its basic adulting tasks stresses him out hugely, so I try and take on as much of it as I can because, well, I can. But it’s hard and we’re in his country not mine so it’s that much harder this way round but ok. Ok. I committed to you and I love you so I’ll help you. But i cannot and will not tolerate anger & criticism if the tasks aren’t performed to your liking!!! When you absolve yourself of responsibility you also have no say in how or when things get done, because now I just feel like you see me as some kind of servant or your mother (not that she ever let you believe servant & mother were synonymous), that I do all this because it’s the natural order of things that a woman looks after you and you can pick fault with how she does it. How far is he genuinely fragile and unable to cope and how far is it just a nice life to let your wife do all the work? Your mother did too, because your father was a drunken good for nothing and post-Franco Spain tolerated that because he was strong and macho and aggressive, but please note that she also left him!

All of which to say I decided not to go to the christening which is a Big Deal, he’s gone with the kids (the only time all summer he’s taken them anywhere) and I’m experiencing some eldest daughter meets wife emotions that I’m not enjoying very much.

#a Rant #screaming into the void IS therapeutic isnt it #ready to get on with this unexpected day i have to myself #although yes i WILL still do the shopping because i'm an adult #but then i will swim in the sea and read raymond chandler (not at the same time) #and maybe rewatch cobra kai o the big tv like i never can because you're always playing GTA #i think my period's due but also i'm right so #i will not undermine my own justified anger

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

[audreydoeskaren]

Hello Audrey, your costume reviews are really interesting and fun! I enjoy reading them a lot, and now I can watch movies with a more informed eye.

If you want to, you could review Wong Kar Wai's The Grandmaster? I plan to watch it sometime this week, it seems interesting! Only if you have time! I imagine watching and rewiewing these shows must take a lot of time, and movies should be enjoyed 😊

Thank you! 😘

Hi, I’m glad you liked my reviews! Yes I would absolutely love to review The Grandmaster. Sorry for posting this so late, I happened to be away last week. I actually watched this movie when I was a wee child so I more or less know what it's about, now as an adult with a costuming obsession I can see it with new eyes.

The Grandmaster (2013) 一代宗师

The Grandmaster is a 2013 Hong Kong-Chinese martial arts drama film based on the life story of the Wing Chun grandmaster Ip Man. The film was directed and written by Wong Kar-wai and stars Tony Leung as Ip Man. (copy and pasted from Wikipedia) The Wong Kar-wai + Zhang Shuping duo strikes again. The plot spans many decades and it's not really specified in what year some scenes take place, but it could generally be understood that the chunk of it where Ip Man is a middle aged man takes place in 1937 and the other chunk where he's older in 1950. If I had a euro every time I reviewed a drama set in 1937 I would have three euros which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that there’s three already. If you read my posts, you can pretty much pick out the questionable things by yourself. But I also like to be mean toward badly made costumes so here I am.

Source here

I'm watching it on Youtube on rent and apparently I can't screenshot anything. So seven minutes into the movie and there is a scene where women who look like this appear (this is not the same scene) and I've already stopped thinking. I'm starting to doubt if the shops selling fingerwave extensions are holding Chinese costume designers at gun point to include them in movies they're designing for. It really looks like 铜钱头 used in Chinese opera hairstyling, is that why costume designers are so attached to it? They actually waved the actress’ hair in this one but still somehow chose to use extensions. A real fingerwave wouldn’t have such exaggerated circular shapes, and the circular part would only be on one side of the part. The circular shape is also just the low part of the “wave” structure, not a deliberately created shape.

Apart from that, the cheongsam in 1937 should have a lower collar with one or two buttons. I’m not a fan of the huge bling trims used here, they existed but weren’t common at all. Even for evening occasions 30s cheongsam were a lot more toned down in the decoration. I would like to give a special shoutout to the plucked eyebrows though. I will give the costuming one free point because of that alone. I also like that they showed both Chinese and Western shoes in that scene. However, the lip shape could be more heart shaped.

Source here

Early 30s fingerwave.

There are a couple women in this scene wearing sectioned bangs and giant flowers on their shoulders, the former is a 1920s thing and the latter a late 20s/early 30s thing, so neither of them should appear in a scene set in 1937.

Source here

They are wearing something like this, which is decidedly late 20s.

Source here

I like the representation of sheer cheongsam here, but the sleeves could be shorter. I think this shot summarizes the staples of Zhang’s 1930s costuming... He’s been doing the same thing for decades and there is zero character development. The female characters here look almost exactly identical to some from The Flowers of War. The fingerwave extensions, the unnecessarily long sleeves, gaudy fabrics and trims etc.. My biggest problem with his way of styling 1930s characters is that although the individual elements used aren’t technically wrong per se, but the frequency in which they appear and the overall atmosphere they create do not match that of the 1930s at all. For example, he’s super fond of using these “luxurious” fabrics with darker colors, loud floral patterns and long sleeves for younger women, which were at the time more associated with older women. Simpler, brighter, abstract patterns were a lot more mainstream. He also loves elaborate trims, which did exist in the 30s but were not common at all; the much more popular plain binding in multiple rows is never attempted. He and most other costume designers for republican era dramas almost never dabble in Modernist, Expressionist or Art Deco aesthetics, although they dominated upper class circles in fashionable cities in the 30s like Shanghai and Hong Kong. The costumes he creates are always dark, moody and stiff yet trying to be seductive, revoking semi Orientalist impressions of a rotten, decadent “old China”, even though historically the republican era saw a lot of innovation in fashion and avant garde experimentations. The magic of the 30s is never successfully captured in his creations, in my humble opinion. I personally would like to relegate this to the limitations of the straight male imagination but feel free to interpret this in your own way.

Source here

The cheerful 1930s aesthetic we never got.

Source here

Sheer cheongsam with slip, though this look is more of a mid 30s thing (this poster is from 1934). Also see how voluminous and not flat her hair is.

In the fight between Ip Man and the other masters, the character of Sister San has a pretty interesting outfit. I love that they showed her in bound feet, which some older women still had after 1912 because they felt it was more comfortable than letting out their feet. Seeing a woman with bound feet do a fierce martial arts sequence is also weirdly the empowerment I didn’t know I needed. The socks and slippers combo would be unthinkable before the 1900s when women would commonly wear heeled lotus shoes and leggings, but in the republican era footbinding wasn’t so prestigious anymore and many women chose more relaxed footwear.

Her hair is once again blasphemous, but the plucked eyebrows are so good I’m willing to let it slip. She wears a black aoku outfit with lace trim which could be a thing in the 30s.

It reads very early 1910s with the sleeve length but I guess you could do it in the 1930s if you want? I actually have no clue what a 1930s aoku outfit looks like.

Source here

1900s photograph of a woman in aoku.

Source here

Gertrude Olmstead in a similar aoku costume, 1927.

Actually I just figured there aren’t many costumes to talk about in this movie... The male characters mostly wear 长衫 changshan, which is a very simple garment that you couldn’t possibly get wrong. Menswear also doesn’t change much over the decades so you could get away with whatever.

Source here

Men’s changshan.

I tried really hard to find photos or shots of costumes in subsequent scenes but I’m sorry the movie is just so dark and there are no full body shots showing a character’s costumes from head to toe... There is this iconic look where the female lead wears a fur trim coat and a cheongsam but it’s a fight scene and everything moves really fast and I can’t really see any details. 

At this point I feel like y’all can recognize Zhang Shuping’s costuming style and the common mistakes he makes so there really isn’t any point in picking out everything from this move in particular. Overall a 5/10, just because it’s usual Zhang Shuping does 1937, but one extra point for the plucked eyebrows like I promised. The movie itself is really good though, just the fight scenes alone make it worth a watch.

#costume analysis #historic fashion #vintage fashion #1930s #republican era #the grandmaster #chinese fashion #cheongsam

[the-bau-quinjet]

Hygge

Summary: Y/N introduces Bucky to the little things that he missed out on since the 40s.

Warnings: Absolutely none, just fluff :)

Word Count: 3527

a/n: Hygge is a Danish word, and from what I can tell it perfectly encompasses finding happiness in the little things.

This request honestly had me smiling the whole time I wrote it. Thank you to everyone who gave me suggestions of things to introduce Bucky to (including my sisters who don't know why I asked them that question lol)

Also, I find happiness in looking at this gif so I would like to thank @thebritishstanfan for its existence on this app

You heard the door open just as you finished running the bath.

"Bucky!" You ran out to the living room, throwing your arms around him in greeting.

"Hi, Doll." He whispered into hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He instantly relaxed at your touch.

"I have a surprise for you." You grabbed his hand, leading him to the bathtub. "I thought you might want to relax a bit, so I ran you a bath."

Just being in your presence was relaxing to him, but he wouldn't turn down a bath, especially one with the potential of you joining him.

"Are you going to relax with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively eliciting a laugh from you.

"Maybe later, this is about you right now." You smiled softly, eager to help him unwind.

He undressed quickly, lowering himself into the warm water as you searched through a shopping bag.

"Okay. Big Blue, Intergalactic, Love Boat, or Goddess?" You looked at him expectantly.

He stared at you, confusion evident on his face.

"Oh, do you want to smell them and then decide?" You questioned with a tilt of your head.

"Smell what?" His brows furrowed, mouth slightly agape.

"The bath bombs silly." You smiled brightly, bringing the bag closer to him.

"Why would I want a bomb in my bath?" He questioned your odd behavior.

"It's not a real bomb, Buck." You shook your head, randomly removing one of the bath bombs from the bag, Goddess. You held it out for him to take.

"Smell it." You instructed.

He was apprehensive in his movements, but slowly moved the purple ball to his nose.

"It smells like flowers." He stated plainly, waiting for you to explain more.

"Yep. Here, smell the rest of them." You handed him each of the bath bombs, waiting to hear his verdict on each one.

"Oh, that's surprisingly citrus-y." He held out Love Boat for you to take back.

"This one smells too clean." He shook his head, dropping Big Blue into the outstretched bag.

"I like this one." He held Intergalactic in his hand, smiling proudly.

"Perfect. Lower it into the water." Your eyes were filled with love as you watched him follow your instructions.

"It's fizzing." He looked at you, concern evident in his bright blue eyes.

"It's supposed to. It dissolves in the water, coloring the bath and also adding scent from essential oils." You did your best to explain.

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"It's just... have you ever heard of hygge?" You waited for his answer.

"Yeah, I've heard the word. It's like feeling cozy and happy from little things." He looked to you for approval.

"Exactly. That's what bath bombs are for, at least to me. They make me happy, so I thought you might like to try one."

The bath water had turned a dark blue, glitter floating throughout.

"Nobody thought to explain bath bombs to me, I guess." He smiled at you, relaxing into the bath. "What else makes you happy?"

"You know what, I'll make a list of little things that I love and then we can spend a day together where I show them to you." You bit your lip in anticipation of his response.

"I'd love that." He grinned.

"Yay! I'm going to get started!" You quickly left the bathroom, leaving him to relax on his own.

-

"What's got you so excited?" Sam gestures to your bouncing knee.

"Oh, I didn't even notice. I'm just showing Bucky some things that he's missed out on since the 40s." You smile grew as you thought about the list you had made.

You were just about to find Bucky and show him the list when you had to leave for an impromptu mission.

You were definitely annoyed your plans had been delayed, but it made you a force to be reckoned with while fighting.

"So that's why you were so ruthless. You've got a hot date." Sam winked.

"Whatever you say Sam." You shook your head. "I've got to drop by Starbucks before they close. See you later!" You called as you ran from the jet, still in mission gear.

The disheveled state of your clothing and hair earned you some looks from the Starbucks employees, but you were too excited to care.

You quickly stopped in your room to change before heading off to find Bucky.

"BuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBucky!" You said his name over and over as you ran to the common area.

Skidding to a stop, you held up the drinks in your hands. "Bucky! Are you ready?"

He seemed to be in the middle of something with Steve, but abandoned it immediately at the sight of you.

"Sorry, punk. I've gotta go." He grabbed a drink from you, sliding his other hand into your newly empty one.

"Wow, jerk. You get a girlfriend and replace me!" Steve yelled after you in a joking tone.

"Don't worry Stevie. Nobody could replace you." You called back over your shoulder, dragging Bucky to the kitchen.

"Okay, I've got a few different categories. The first one we're going to tackle is food!" You smiled brightly, nearly bouncing in anticipation.

"Can you preheat the oven to 350 degrees?" You asked as you grabbed a bag from the freezer.

You swiftly dumped the contents onto the tray, shoving them into the oven while it preheated.

"Aren't you supposed to wait until it's hot?" Bucky watched as you slid around the room.

"Yes, but I've always been impatient. It'll be fine. I promise! While those are cooking, I've got a few other things for you. These are from the 90s."

You handed him a bag of flamin' hot cheetos, watching with bated breath as he opened it and sniffed the contents.

"They smell bizarre. Why are they so red?" He looked at the cheeto in his hand with confusion.

"It's the flamin' hot cheeto dust! It may be unnaturally red, but it's so satisfying to eat." You grabbed the bag from him, eating a cheeto of your own.

He eyed you carefully, slowly popping the cheeto into his mouth and chewing carefully.

"Doll, these are terrible." He deadpanned, grinning when you pouted.

"Bucky!" You whined. "You have to eat more than one for the full experience. It doesn't matter that they aren't the best flavor wise, there's just something about them that's addicting." You laughed, eating a few more cheetos.

"Alright, alright. I'll follow your lead." The two of you snacked as you brought his attention to the next item.

"Okay, these don't really go with the cheeto flavor, but they still make me happy. Starbucks only does holiday drinks around the holidays, obviously. These are my two favorite."

You handed him one beverage, gesturing for him to try it.

"Minty..." He waited for an explanation.

"Yes. Peppermint mocha!" You swapped the cups, letting him try the next drink. "That one is an eggnog latte."

"They're both pretty good, although I still like my coffee black." He placed the cup back on the counter.

"Yeah, I thought you might say that. There's just something about them. Probably because they're seasonal drinks. It makes me associate them with the holidays and spending time with friends and family and that makes me smile."

He pressed a kiss to your nose. "You are too cute."

"I know!" You scrunched your nose, knowing he finds it adorable. "Next item!" You presented him with three different packages of Oreos.

"Why so many?" He questioned.

"Because, they're different flavors. I now Oreos were originally produced in like 1912 or something, that's why I got different flavors."

"Actually, I don't think I've ever tried one." He eyed the blue package excitedly.

"Ahh, while I got double stuffed because they're obviously better than the regular ones. I've also got peanut butter and mint. Honestly, pretty mild flavors all things considered." You laughed, picturing the key lime flavor you avoided.

Bucky grabbed one of each, excited to try all three.

"I think the mint one is my favorite. It really goes with the peppermint mocha." He nodded as he spoke, as if he needed to convince himself.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." You smiled, watching as he ate three more cookies.

Before he could reply, the timer went off.

"The dino nuggies!" You reached for the potholder, pulling the tray out of the over. "This is the last food item."

He looked at the tray, confusion clear in his eyes.

"Doll, are these just chicken nuggets?" He picked up a brontosaurus from the tray.

"Well, yes." You huffed. "But! They're shaped like dinosaurs!" You bit your lip in excitement, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

"So? They still taste the same..." Bucky clearly did not understand the hype.

"Right again. It's so much more fun to eat though. Gives you a childlike enthusiasm, even as a fully grown adult." He eyed you skeptically as he bit off the head of a dino.

He couldn't help but smile as you watched him, anticipating his reaction.

"Ya know, you might be right. That was weirdly satisfying."

The two of you spent the next few minutes eating chicken nuggets, hot cheetos, and oreos, occasionally sipping from the holiday beverages.

After quickly cleaning up the kitchen, you lead Bucky to your bathroom.

"Sit down." You gestured to the toilet.

"Why?" He still did as he was asked.

"Because." You answered petulantly. You filled a paper cup with water, carefully dumping it on his head to get his hair wet.

"Y/N!" Bucky jolted from the cold water.

"Sorry! I forgot it was cold!" You quickly plugged in the blowdryer, letting the warm air waft over his head.

"You know, if that thing was quieter, I think I could fall asleep right now." Bucky stated calmly as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to evenly distribute the warm air amongst the hair.

"I know, right! There's something about someone else blow drying your hair that is so soothing."

You spent the next few minutes drying Bucky's hair and massaging his scalp.

"All done!" you exclaimed, unplugging the blow dryer and putting it back in the cabinet.

"Are you sure you don't want to do that again?" Bucky questioned, still sitting on the toilet.

"Yes. We've got more things to cover!" You pulled him off the toilet, nearly dragging him to your bed.

"Next category is entertainment, I guess." You brought out your laptop, certain apps already open to show him different things.

"We'll start with animals!" You were buzzing with excitement, and caffeine, as you opened two different browsers.

"Doll, animals existed in the 40s." He shook his head, endlessly amused by your behavior.

"I know that. Have you ever seen a Highland Cow?" You raised your brow, challenging his statement.

"I can't say I have." He shook his head slightly.

"Well, there you go. Animals it is. Actually, have you ever used Alexa?" You questioned him.

"No... Who is Alexa?" His confusion earned a laugh from you.

"An AI." You explained before bursting out into laughter again.

"Oh, like Friday?" He questioned.

"Yeah, but Alexa's not nearly as advanced. Here, watch this." You cleared your throat, making sure to speak clearly. "Alexa, show me pictures of Highland cows."

After a brief buffer, the AI responded. "Here are pictures of Highland cows." The google search appeared on your screen.

"So you can ask her anything?" Bucky questioned.

"Sort of, Friday knows way more. Alexa's good for little things though. Tony gets annoyed if you ask Friday to do too many small things because it can take up too much RAM and... You know what, it's not important." You decided against explaining since Bucky already looked confused.

You shifted your screen so he could see the many pictures displayed.

"Okay, so what's so special about a Highland cow?" He scrolled through the images, unaware of the smile forming on his face.

"There's just something about them. You'll find that same explanation for a lot of things I'm showing you, but it's true. They just make me smile. Look at how cute they are!" You emphatically gestured to the screen, nearly squealing at the adorable display.

"I actually see what you mean. Looking at them just makes you smile." He nodded his head thoughtfully, a small grin still pulling at his lips. "What other animal are you introducing me to?"

"Well, I assume you know what a puppy is." You said in complete seriousness.

"I do, indeed." He matched your tone, mocking the seriousness. He was really enjoying the playfulness you were showcasing.

"Well, here is a video of actor Tom Holland... you know Tom Holland, right?" You turned to face him.

"Tom Holland. Tom Holland... What's he in again?" His brows pinched together in thought.

"We've watched a few of his new movies together. Chaos Walking, The Devil All the Time, a few animated films, In the Heart of the Sea."

"Oh! The British one?" Recognition crossed his features.

"Yes! That one. Okay so, this is an interview of him..."

"Okay?" Bucky was more confused now than any other point of the night.

"Playing with puppies!" You're mouth dropped open in a wide smile, clearly excited about even the idea of puppies.

"I think I understand this one without even watching the video." he laughed, laying back with you to watch.

-

"You can't have pitbulls in England?" Bucky was affronted.

"I know. It's so sad." You pouted, still staring at the puppies on the screen.

-

"I have actually always thought puppies smell really good." He easily commented, agreeing with the famous actor.

"I know, Buck. I know." You shook your head playfully.

-

"Twinkies are pretty gross, he's not wrong." It was your turn to comment on his answers.

"I see your point." Bucky agreed as well.

-

"I definitely understand why this one makes you happy." Bucky smiled, kissing you on the cheek. "You know, he kind looks like Peter."

"I mean, maybe a little." You shrugged moving on to the next thing on your list.

"Still in the realm of entertainment, I've got some music for you." You knew Bucky was going to pout here.

"Doll, you know I'm just fine listening to my 40s music and calling it a day."

"Yes, but this is my list and you have agreed to be subjected to it." You queued up a few songs. "The first one, again, just makes me smile. I babysat a lot when I was younger, and there's something about this theme song that really hits different."

"Hits different?" Bucky stared at you like you had two heads.

"Yep. Just listen."

I was a girl in the village doing alright, then I became a princess overnight. Now I gotta figure out how to do it right, so much to learn and see.

You bobbed your head, mouthing the words as the theme song to Sofia the First played.

"I don't get this one." He figured honesty was the best policy.

"You say that now, but a week from now... You'll be singing it while you punch a bad guy in the face." You deadpanned, earning a laugh.

"Okay! Actual songs now." You took a deep breath, tring to prepare for his rejection. "Taylor Swift."

"Taylor Swift?" He repeated, waiting for you to say something else.

"To quote one of my favorite tik toks I've ever seen... 'If you don't like a single Taylor Swift song, I'm taking a crowbar, and I'm propping open your chest to see what's powering that thing in there, because it's not a heart.'"

"That's a bit extreme, don't you think." He eyed you cautiously.

"No. It's true. Her discography is so versatile, everyone can find at least one song they like." Your playful mood from earlier was still present, but hidden behind a slightly threatening glare.

"Which song are you going to play for me?" He was honestly nervous to hear it.

"Actually, you can pick. This playlist is songs of hers that make me smile, so pick whichever one you want." You smiled, eager to see his choice.

He scrolled through the playlist, reading each title carefully.

"Okay, You Are In Love or New Year's Day?" He asked your opinion.

"Both good choices, why those two?" You eyed him curiously.

"Well, You Are In Love because that's how I feel about you and New Years Day because you put it last in the playlist, so I know it must be one of your favorites."

You couldn't hide the way his words made you smile if you tried.

"I love you so much." You kissed him quickly. "Go with New Year's Day, I think it will resonate with you a bit more."

He smiled, tapping the screen gently to play the song.

The two of you remained quiet through the song, just enjoying the soft melody and storytelling.

"Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere." He quoted when the song ended.

"I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and your crawling home." You sang softly in response.

He cleared his throat. "I think I understand this one."

"I'm glad. I mean, it obviously doesn't have to be Taylor Swift, but everyone should have at least one song that makes them smile." You leaned into his embrace, enjoying the time spent together.

"What else have you got for me, Doll?" He held you close.

"Two more things. Here." You handed him two slightly sticky balls.

"What the hell is this?" He laughed, prying the toy from his metal hand.

"Throw it at the ceiling." He did as he was told, following your lead.

"Friday, can you turn off the lights?" You asked the AI.

"Of course, Ms. L/N."

The two of you were quickly shrouded in darkness. The balls you had thrown at the ceiling were glowing.

"How do we get them down?" Bucky whispered, his voice matching the darkness of the room.

"Just wait..." You stared at the ceiling, waiting a few seconds before the balls began to fall.

"So you just throw it and catch it?" Bucky questioned, again following your lead.

"Yep! It's weirdly relaxing after a long day." You smiled, catching and throwing the neon balls over and over again.

"You're absolutely right." He laughed, catching the blue ball before it could hit him in the face. "Especially just laying in the dark."

"Exactly! I'll go get the last thing, you can keep going." You pressed a quick kiss before heading to the kitchen. You tossed a few stuffed animal heating pads into the microwave.

While they were heating up, you grabbed yours and Bucky's water bottles to fill up with the fridge filter.

The beep sounded, indicating you could grab the animals and head back to Bucky.

"I'm back!" You called softly as you closed the door again. The room was still dark, causing you to turn on the lights. Bucky was frantically catching and throwing all four balls.

"It's a bit less relaxing when you've got to keep track of so many." He laughed as one fell and stuck to his elbow.

"Yeah, more like a game then." You smiled, happy to see him having so much fun.

"So, what's the last thing?"

You held up a bright yellow duck and an equally bright green frog.

"Stuffed animals? Doll, how old do you think I am?" He laughed lightheartedly.

"They're not just stuffed animals. They're also heating pads." You smiled, handing the duck to Bucky.

"What do you do with it?" He questioned.

"Men." You couldn't help but mumble it under your breath. "Well, after a mission, when you're feeling sore you can cuddle with one of these and it helps soothe the ache."

"Really? Nothing else you've shown me has been this practical." He chuckled again.

"That is true, but the fact that it's a stuffed frog makes me happy, even after the worst day."

"I guess you have a point." He pulled the duck close to his body, snuggling with it. "I like cuddling with you better." He pouted.

"I like cuddling with you too Bucky. Promise." You turned to face him, holding the frog to your chest with one arm.

"Thank you for sharing all this with me. I honestly don't remember the last time I smiled this much." He looked at you fondly, still smiling.

"Me either. There is one more thing that makes me really happy, though." You whispered.

"Yeah, what's that?" He watched you eagerly, waiting for the last thing.

"You." You watched his smile grow. "Even just spending ten seconds with you makes me happy after a totally shit day."

"Y/N, you make me happier than anyone I've ever met, Steve included." He joked. "I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love someone."

"I love you too. So, so much." You rested your head on his chest, cuddling as close as the stuffed frog allowed. "Goodnight, Bucky." You whispered softly, eyes already falling closed.

He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, sighing contently.

"Goodnight my love."

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #bucky one shot #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky fic

[cabinofimagines]

OK SO soft lester hours WHAT ABOUT apollo who has gone back to camp to see reader cus he can and they do scary house stuff and apollo just is a cocky but soft bastard?????? they're FRIENDS

Halloween 2021 masterlist

Oh my god I miss Apollo what the fuck—why would he leave me this way -Danny

Warnings: Not proofread. And haunted mansions with actors that are allowed to touch you not the actual haunted stuff jsdjs

Oct 13th: Good Scary -(Platonic!Lester/Apollo xGN!Reader)

When he promised he would keep an eye on you he wasn’t joking. It’s like he had this sensor that let’s him know when you’re sad and he immediately shows up to help you through. Sometimes it’s scary.

But scary is good this time! Because it’s Halloween, and you and Lester are ready to scare your butts off.

He takes you to this new haunted mansion he’s been dying to go to and he’s all excited—he doesn’t scare easily, which is weird considering he used to be whiny as hell when he was human, but now he’s holding your hand and teasing you relentlessly because you’re on the verge of having a heart attack.

“I don’t understand why I agreed to come!” You complain once you’re out of the first level of the house. “I hate this! It smells funny in here!”

“Not monster-funny, so you’re perfectly safe!” Apollo—although right now he’s using Lester’s appearance, his good looks would be too much of a distraction when you’re surrounded by unknowing mortals—grins at you. “C’mon, we still have two more floors to go through!”

You let him drag you towards the next door but you spend most of the time hidden behind his body, you swear a lot, which has Lester dying of laughter. He hopes this place takes pictures of the visitors during their experience because he needs a copy of every single one of your reactions to this place. They’re high quality.

“Look at that, you’re still in one piece!” He says teasingly. “Wanna go for a milkshake, to get your bloodsugar back in its normal range?”

“Honestly, you suck,” You push your hair back, it feels slightly sticky thanks to the sweat and you cringe at the feeling. “Can we walk for a while? At least to get rid of the stink that witch left on my clothes after she jumped on me...”

“You’re sounding a bit too much like me, perhaps I should stop visiting so often,” He chuckles.

“Yeah, perhaps you should,” You taunt.

Apollo stops abruptly, his grins falters when he looks at you.

“Don’t you like it when I visit you?”

You blush, the last thing you wanted was to make him feel bad about caring. 

“No—I mean, yes! I do like it, I just... I don’t want to depend on you so much, you know? One day I’ll be an adult, and you can’t look after me my whole life, right? I mean, what if I’m arguing one day with my partner and you show up out of nowhere? I don’t think they’d appreciate that a lot.”

“Well if they’re bothering you, maybe it’s for the best,” He replies a bit haughtily. When he sees your brows knitting together he sighs. “Fine. I get it, you’re a big kid now, you can handle your own problems...”

“I just don’t like that the only way I get to see my friend is when he comes by thinking he needs to fix me. I know you don’t mind it, but I do.”

He nodded, patting your shoulder in a brotherly manner and guiding you towards the nearest coffee shop. It's then that a crazy idea makes its way out:

"Hey, we're planning a party at camp, wanna come?"

"When?"

"It's a Halloween party, so the 30th! Please come? I'm sure the others will be happy to see you..."

"Doubt it," He snorts. "But sounds compelling, I'll try to pay a short visit."

You consider his reply as enough and nod at him humming, then his arm surrounds you and pulls you closer.

“Alright, enough sappy talk. I’m in the mood for a doughnut and then you can tell me all about your classmate Lee—”

“Oh, no...”

“Oh, yes,” He smiles. “They’re kinda cute—”

“Stop.”

“Y/N and Lee, sitting on a—Ouch! You’re so strong, what the hell?”

“Keep going and I’ll break your nose.”

Lester chuckles, you can’t help the little fuzzy feeling inside your chest when you look at him, it’s good to have him around.

All Fics Taglist.

@beneaththeiceandsnow

#Danny's writing #lester papadopoulos #toa spoilers #toa x reader #apollo #pjo imagine #hoo imagines

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

"ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ?" - ʜ.ᴏ

Hello to you! There it is! My first Harrison request. I'm working for a one shot with him, but it takes me so long because it's a little angst. But don't worry, this one is just fluff! I hope you'll all like it! I did not have time to be reread and corrected. So be indulgent once again, English is not my native language.

Summary: harrison met you in this coffe/bookstore where you friend worked. Since that day, he tried to ask you out but nothing really worked he would like. Until that day. Word count: 2690 Warning: some of swear, spoilers of "one day" by David Nicholls" Pairing : harrison osterfield Request: yes!

You walked happily into the store, heading towards the counter where your best friend was. “The cup and feather” was a second home to you. The warm atmosphere that reigned in the bookstore/cafe has always seduced you. There was a peace of mind that relaxed your muscles: the woody decor, the warm and captivating light, the mixed smell of old/new books and coffee. You were leaning on the counter where Maya was completing an order for a regular.

“Good morning Luke! Enjoy your drink!” you said with a large smile.

“Hello dear y/n! Thanks sweetie! Let me know if you want to drink something. It’s on me”

“It won’t be necessary but thank you. I appreciate!”

The customer adds a generous 10-pound bill to the tip pot with a wink at you. Maya thanked Luke and then gave you a broken look. You gave her an amused smile, shaking your head, already anticipating her next line. But nothing could dissipate your good mood, your day was good.

"It's unbelievable how my tips increase when you're here. What's your secret?"

“Hello to you too, dear best friend. I don't have a secret...but maybe, try to be...nicer to customers? Give them a smile while you're taking their order! ”

“Hello honey. I’m so thankful you’re here. It’s a boring day”

It was a pretty quiet day, there weren't a lot of customers. The rather gloomy London weather seemed to have put them off. A huge thunderous sound echoed outside and Maya jumped. You had a sympathetic and somewhat amused smile. You liked the storm. To be honest, you liked the storm when you weren't alone: feel the heavy, electric atmosphere before the refreshing rain falls. She looked out the window with annoyance.

"Jesus. It looks like it's gonna be a long day" she complained

“Don’t be so dramatic! Let me help. How can I help you?”

“There is this book cart that I have to put away and that has been lying around for an hour. But my boss would kill me if he found out that someone who actually doesn’t work here, did it for me”

Maya gave you a knowing look. It wasn't that she hated you helping her with her work, on the contrary, you were quite useful to her. But she would have preferred that you spend your free time other than helping her. You took a few books from the cart, sticking your tongue out at your best friend and rushing down the aisles of the library section. The distinct sound of a heavy downpour was heard outside and a few seconds later, the store door opened to let in two young, but also handsome, men. Maya bit her lip as one of the individuals approached the counter with a polite but warm smile. He seemed tall, with a thin but toned build, thin lips, his blue eyes pierced her from the moment his eyes met hers; a fucking model.

"Hello. Do you mind if we stay a little while the downpour subsides?" he asked.

" Hell no, of course! You can stay as long as you want as long as I can admire you… uh, shit, no, as long as you order something… did I say the other part out loud?

The second boy laughed, but nothing mocking. He was shorter than the guy across from Maya, brown hair and chocolate eyes, muscular arms but not sculpted like a bodybuilder. He seemed in good shape.

The blonde raised his eyebrows, an amused smile on his lips.

"I'm afraid so. Um ... okay. Tom?" he turned to his friend "Do you want to drink something?"

"Black tea. A single sugar and a drop of milk."

Your friend nodded meaning she heard it and then she patiently waited for the blonde to place his order.

"I'll have mint tea. Just one sugar too."

"Noted! Feel free to go grab a book once you've settled in."

The blonde smiled at Maya as he turned slightly to the tables to settle in with his friend. You were immersed in reading a synopsis when you finally returned to the counter. You looked up too late while talking to your best friend.

"Hey, Maya can I keep - ouch"

You had just hit a rather solid chest and your eyes widened in surprise. Two hands grabbed your shoulders before the fall, stabilizing you on your two good. And thank you, handsome stranger because you would have been able to let yourself fall so as not to drop the book you were holding in your hands.

"Everything's alright, love?"

"Huh Huh" You barely said, still a little surprised by the impact.

He smiled at you and finally joined Tom at a table without giving you a chance to thank him. You leaned against the counter giving your best friend an indecipherable expression.

"Who are these guys?"

"I know, right?" Maya whispered, biting her lips again.

You smiled to her. You and your best friend had the same tastes when it came to boys. So it was no wonder that they found them attractive.You quickly gave a last look on the mysterious guy before focusing on the cart again. Your logic wanted you to go back and forth rather than pushing this wheeled machine. And deep down, it was also an excuse to admire the blond boy at the table 7. When you came back from your last trip down the aisles and there were no books left on the cart. You noticed with a sad expression on your face that both boys were gone. What did you expect? A romantic scene where love story is born in the aisles of a bookstore cafe. What's the point? You might not even have been his type. Correction: You were certainly not his type. Maya came over to you, a mischievous half-smile on her face.

"If you're wondering. His name is Harrison. I heard his friend call him. And he kindly tipped you 25 pounds."

"I don't work here."

"It's just like"

"I would probably never see him again, Maya"

"Believe me, I have a feeling that you will."

☙♡❧

And she was right. The following week did not bring the handsome stranger, the following week either. You had totally, or almost, forgotten this delicious abrupt encounter. You were in the aisles of the cafe, looking for the next book you were going to devour when you were politely tapped on the shoulder, a throat clearing accompanying the gesture.

"Hm, excuse me?"

You turned around and your eyes widened a little in surprise. You did not expect, or more, to see this beautiful stranger again. He was holding a book in his hands and looked nervous. His demeanor was endearing and you couldn't help but suppress a shy smile.

"Yes?"

"I'm looking to get my mom a book. I've heard of this one but ... I wanted your advice."

You raised an amused eyebrow. He wanted to buy a book from his mom and he went to a coffee shop to ask you for advice on a book he obviously couldn't buy here. You found this sweet and awkward. You gave him a shy and mischievous smile.

“You know you're not supposed to buy the books here… just read them. »You joked

"Hmm, yeah ... but ... I wanted your opinion since ..."

"I don't work here ..."

The surprise was read in his eyes as in yours but for different reasons. Harrison felt silly for asking you when you weren't an employee. You, you were surprised by your tone, which seemed so cold when it was not your intention. You didn’t want to be rude to him. In fact, he makes you a little bit uncomfortable. You had never been so awkward with a boy but, for some reason you didn't know, his piercing blue eyes bowled you over. You couldn't deny that you were drawn to him and there was something really spellbinding about Harrison. To catch up you glanced at the book, you wrinkled his nose and you scratched your head

“I'm sorry, this is not the kind of novel I read ... But if she read Fifty-shade of Grey ... this book might please her” you told him, somewhat embarrassed.

Harrison gave you a confused look and you pointed to the cover of the book. To be fair, although he won't admit it, Harrison had grabbed the first book he saw off the storage cart and it actually turned out that it was an erotic fiction rather categorized in the young adult, a bestseller. Honestly, you didn't know where to put yourself. You watched the cheeks of the boy in front of you turn deep red.

"Okay ... Okay. I wasn't there for my mom."

"No shame ..." you tried to comfort him

"No..no i swear. It..i'm … okay ...

A boy with curly hair appeared in the aisle, calling out to the young man, breaking that awkward moment between you at the same time. Harrison's friend seemed vaguely familiar to you, as if you knew him or seemed to know him.

"Harrison, we're late. Tom's gonna kill me, mate!"

Harrison gave a sigh of relief that he seemed to have held back. He gave you a sorry smile and apologized before leaving you, putting the book down on a shelf. They headed for the exit and you stayed there, without moving, still challenged by this moment. You heard a laugh that came from the curl without actually hearing the reason.

"Did you ask her advice about 365 DNI? What kind of div are you?"

"Shut up Harry."

And Harry's laugh echoed one more time before the door closed on them. After a few seconds, you returned to the counter where your best friend was. She nodded at you, as if asking like it had happened. You have to shake your head negatively while shrugging your shoulders. It was the most bizarre interaction you have had in your life. A total failure. With that, he was sure you would never see him again.

☙♡❧

But you were wrong again. You were, again and again, at the cafe. Maya was finishing her shift and you were sitting at a table with a book in your hand. You were in your own little world when your gaze was drawn to a male hand, wearing rings highlighting the veins of that said hand, placing a cup of latte on your table.

"I didn't order any-" you said before interrupting you.

Harrison was in front of you, a shy little smile drawn across his face. You frowned, intrigued. How had he guessed your favorite drink? A simple glance over the blond's shoulder told you your answer: Maya was smiling at you, thumbs up, as a token of encouragement. You looked Harrison, pursed your lips, flattered by the gesture.

“I wanted to apologize for the other time.” Harrison finally spoke.

“It's nothing ... I..I hope your mom liked the book.” you just told him with a little smile

"I… It wasn't for her."

"Oh..for whom?" you asked intrigued.

He smirked, amused by your carelessness. Was he not obvious, however? Since the day he met you, the actor hadn't stopped thinking about you. Tom and Harry kept telling him that he was completely whipped and looked like a fool.

"For no one actually. I grabbed the first book I found."

"But why?" you seemed more confused.

"I wanted to see you. It was a pretext… I didn't know how to approach you."

Your cheeks turned as red as Harrison's the last you met him. You were flattered but at the same time surprised to know that he was interested in you. You've replaced a strand of hair behind your ear, blushing. An awkward silence has settled between you two. Neither of them really knew how to break the ice. Harrison looked up at the book you had put on the table when he arrived.

"What do you read?" he asked interested

“One day by David Nicholls. It’s the one of the most moving books I have ever read.”

And you started talking for hours about how this book moved you and how Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess' portrayal in the film adaptation blew your mind. How you went from laughter to tears to anger. How you got attached to the characters in both the book and the movie. Harrison couldn't stop you. He admired you talking with passion and found you endearing. The way you spoke with your hands or the way you frowned when some character action disturbed you. You were in your world and he wanted to enter it.

"I hope we end up like them." He said, interrupting you.

You suddenly stopped in your monologue looking at Harrison puzzled. You didn't expect this. First, because by knowing the story of this novel. You didn't want anyone to experience people's stories, no matter how beautiful it was. Second, did Harrison just say he was considering something with you?

"Like who?" you asked

"Emma and Dexter ... I hope we have such a great story."

You pursed your lips, amused. You swallowed to keep from laughing and you shook your head. You were sure he didn't read the book but you wanted to play with him a little.

"I don't hope so."

"Why? Their love story is beautiful!"

"You haven't read this book have you?"

"Of course yes!" he defended himself, uncomfortable.

In truth, he was lying. He was trying to impress you. He had simply said he wanted to live this love affair to soften you and try to approach you to ask for a date. Once again, you smiled, genuinely amused by the boy in front of you. He looked so innocent and so confident in her walk. But you knew ... You knew he hadn't read the book.

"Harrison, she dies at the end"

Harrison's cheeks have once again turn red. He played with his hands nervously, embarrassed. He was an idiot, a complete fucking div. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to let go of all the stress he had accumulated but also to find a way to make up for it. You were blowing him outright. He thought you were so beautiful and had never been so awkward about approaching a girl. Of course, Harry had introduced him to his ex-girlfriend. But, the actor had never had a hard time flirting. He knew his strengths, he was kinda funny, can't deny he was pretty handsome, after all he was a model. He was also an actor, he could play all emotions, recite hundreds of lines of dialogue. But you looked different and he was unable to have a conversation with you without being ridiculous. You found that rather adorable.

"Okay, okay. I don't hope we end up like them."

“I hope you don't wait 20 years before asking me out?”

Harrison looked at you surprised. Did you really just reach out to her? Did he hear what you just said or did his imagination play a dirty trick on him? Her heart skipped a beat. You pursed your lips before putting on a warm but shy smile. You weren't that confident in normal times but ... but it was pushing you out of your comfort zone. You liked him, his clumsiness made you laugh and moved you a lot. You wanted to know him better. And with a simple smile, Harrison knew he had the green light.

"Would you ... have coffee with me?"

"I'm already taking one with you, idiot" you joked ...

"Yeah..hmm, okay ... um. Would you like to go on a date ... one day?"

Your smile widened. You didn't know if he had chosen his last words intentionally but you liked to think he had. And if it wasn't, that awkwardness had melted your heart. You bit your lip, a smile still on your face. Your cheeks were rosy with emotion. Eventually, you might have had your romantic story at a coffee shop / bookstore.

“Yes, Harrison. I would like to go out with you.

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfeild fluff #harrison osterfield writing #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield

[imagine-straykids]

★ Sincerely, Lee Know | Ver. 01

★ Summary: In an alternate universe where Lee Minho AKA Lee Know is a sassy blogger. You get to see with your very own eyes everything he documents on his blog, whether that's his thoughts on a recent movie he had just watched, his experience eating at Taco Bell for the first time, or the bitch he almost had to fight, Lee Minho will stop at nothing to get his points across.

★ Discretion: I hope it's not confusing, but this is a roleplay? I thought the idea would be fun. A lot of cursing and mature contents will be discussed, but nothing too over the top. Beware excessive cringe maybe. This is a series. Enjoy!

★ You are currently viewing: About Me

Hi, my name is Lee Know, or I guess if we're getting personal here: Lee Minho. Although I prefer Lee Know because people always get me confused with the actor Lee Minho.

I rant and complain A LOT, but I don't think I need to tell you that, because you'll be finding it out for yourself later. But I have the mouth the size of the pacific ocean, and holding back is the last thing Lee Know does. So if you're a sensitive little bitch, then do not continue any further. If you still do and proceed to come for me, then well... that's between you and god.

More about myself? Well... I'm just your average everyday guy, but better. I like to listen to music and dance on my free time. And when I'm not doing that, then I usually hang out with my crew. They can be real idiotic and sometimes I wonder why am I even putting myself through their shit, but they are the real homies. Have been with me since forever and I know they will always have my back, so watch out.

Why I started this blog? Well, funny story. I got into an argument with Chan one day, btw shoutout to @christopherbangcorner go follow and like his stuff. I know he told me to not tell anyone about his blog but I could give two shit. Anyways, we were arguing and he said to me "You run that mouth of yours so much, why don't you put it to good use for once." so here I am. So if you're interested, keep reading. If you're just coming here to hate on me, then well... that's going to be difficult because I'm quite a likable person if I say so myself. I'm just kidding... ish.

Anyways. That's that. Proceed with caution!

Sincerely, Lee Know.

★ You are currently viewing: Rants

rant #1 2:35 p.m.

I swear, hoes these days be thirsty asf. Me and Hyunjin just wanted to go to the convenience store to get some things Chan's lazy ass ordered us to, and we legit got followed the whole way there. ARE PEOPLE LITERALLY THAT JOBLESS! Leave us alone next time or don't say I didn't warn you when I whip out my asian slipper and slap every one of you so hard you're going to regret ever meeting me in this lifetime. And like, aren't you guys supposed to be in class right now? Go back, Jesus. Bet every one of y'all are failing. How would your mothers feel if she knows you're ditching class to go chase some dicks.

10,334 views | 234 comments

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rant #2 7:02 p.m.

Yo, I just suddenly remembered the rudest customer I ever had. So I used to work at this Boba shop during my high school days, and this motherfucker with his cupcake shaped hair jimmy neutron looking ass came in and started yelling at me for getting his order wrong. Like bro... why you tryna fight a 16 year old about a $4 drink. Chill tf out. There are children dying in Africa. Now that I think about it, 16 year old me was on some adult shit. 22 year old me now would've spit in his drink.

12,943 views | 301 comments

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rant #3 5:12 p.m.

Learn to wear a goddamn mask. I will not repeat myself. You ain't no Rosa Parks, you just a stupid headass. Do all these people really think they're doing sum?

9,135 views | 212 comments

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★ sincerelyleeknow has uploaded a photo!

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uploaded at 10:05 A.M.

It likes me, I promise.

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uploaded at 2:15 P.M.

Yes, we know we're hot.

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★ sincerelyleeknow just posted something!

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posted at 3:57 P.M.

yo, wtf. people actually read the shit that I write? no offense, but are you guys like... okay?! i sorta created this blog out of spite but now I just might have to roll with it.

13,524 views | 267 comments

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posted at 4:43 P.M.

I'm bored and my inbox are open. Send me something. No nudes or creepy ass messages please. There's a block button and I'm not afraid to use it.

16,223 views | 304 comments

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➤ potofnoodle923 asked: dang shawty, you cute.

sincerelyleeknow replied: tell me something I don't know.

➤ anonymous asked: why are you wearing makeup? that's gay. You're not funny and all of your followers suck.

sincerelyleeknow replied: why you mad bro? I bet you sent that from your mom's basement. go out and get some sunlight my dude. bitter ass mf i know you're scared.

➤ caillou_caillou0 asked: you're cute and all but why your hair be looking crispy.

sincerelyleeknow replied: okurr caillou. at least I have hair.

➤ flowerbeauty7 asked: go out with me?

sincerelyleeknow replied: I might consider if you're paying

➤ anonymous asked: fucking traitor hoe.

sincerelyleeknow replied: ayy chill out Chan. I helped promote your blog.

➤ anonymous asked: your friend on the right of one your photo is cute or whatever. he single?

sincerelyleeknow replied: get in line, sis

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★ sincerelyleeknow just posted something!

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posted at 6:22 P.M.

okay well that was a fucking mistake. anyways, I'm gonna bounce now. prob answer more tmr or whenever I'm not procrastinating. some of y'all weird as fuck.

11,557 views | 242 comments

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~ Sincerely, Lee Know

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