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#although the show really really needs to address how all of the events so far have changed his mindset

thebestofoneshots · 6 days

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WOLFSTAR X READER SERIES

Gilded Constellations | THE INTERLUDE Part 2

Summary: You meet Sirius and Regulus at a family vacation in the Caribbean, but things don't go as planned and you end up losing contact once the trip is over. Years later your family moves to England and you get accepted at Hogwarts where you finally see Sirius once again, along with all of his friends. One of them with a mysterious secret, that you'll uncover as you embark on your own Hogwarts adventure. Mostly canon-compliant. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Series Masterlist | Previous episode | The first Interlude

You guys know I wanted to make another interlude, but upon lack of time, and because I don't want to have you wait another week to read the next chapter (darling @aremuslupinsimp for sure needs someone to vent about the absolute rollercoaster of emotions that it is) I've decided to make it a WEEKL-LONG EVENT!

But Lilly, What does that mean? It means you can send as many questions as you might have and I'll try to address all of them within the week. Including anything related to last week, this week's, and the next week's chapter (although I will not spoil that one).

Adding a few questions here, just as a start:

Have you always known where the story is going or have you kind of figured it out along the way? do you have the ending planned?

Hey love! I do have a base idea of where GC is going. I've had these big plot points thought out from the very beginning to the part where they all start dating. Having said that, a lot of things that happen in the story, and that are in between those points, are just me letting my imagination soar, and a lot of those chapters end up being some of my favourites.

I wanted to end the story either before they end school or before 1981, but now that I've gotten so attached to the characters, I've honestly thought of writing past that, and "fixing" some of the things that happen in canon. But who knows, that's like a whole other fic just on how much plot it would have.

SoIi can’t really remeber if the ‘prank’ that Sirius pulled on Snape had already happened in Gilded Constellations, if it hasn’t will it be happening or will it just get skipped over?

It's happened already (in 5th year). That's the reason Snape is weary about leaving Vixen in the Shack in "Bad Moon Rising". He knew she would be in danger because there was a werewolf inside. He couldn't say anything to them because of the young twisting charm Dumbledore put on him, and he's never been brave enough to stand up to the other Slytherins, so he went straight to Lily and told her Vix was in danger.

That's why Lily knew about Vixen being in danger when Sirius showed up with a fox in his hands and was livid about it.

Tu penses prévoir combien de chapitre pour GC si tu sais sinon si tu sais pas une estimation de chapitre que tu aimerais écrire pour GC ?

I'm terrible with estimations, originally it was going to be a short 5 chapter-long series. And then I wanted to end it at thirty, and then at forty. So far I've written 55 chapters, but I'm thinking of ending before chapter 70. (That's IF I don't get carried away).

Do we get to know if Sirus ever got that necklace back from the first few chapters?

Oh, the necklace is still on Vix's neck and it's going to be HUGE in the next couple of chapters. I've been building on is for a while and I'm really excited about it finally happening.

How is it going with Remus' and reader's fireworms?

They are amazing! They've implemented a whole system that helps them get fed automatically. They're probably going to ace that test.

Are we seeing more to Nina?

Definitely.

After they come back from winter break will the study group start again?

I mean, there're going to be a LOT of things happening after the Winter Break, but I assume yes. Also the reading club, the reading club is going to happen.

How long do we have to wait 'till Remus, Reader and Sirius go out?

I think I'm about one or two chapters away from writing that, but I'm a few chapters ahead. But it's waaay less than before.

Does Nina have a little crush on Reader or is it just me?

I mean, there's a reason why the ribbon she tied on her quidditch gear was enough to defend Vix from Barty's spell. And why, more than once, Nina's love has proven to be a strong protective spell over the reader.

Are we getting more lessons like some of the first chapters?

Yup, not very soon, since the next few chapters will all be happening over the winter break, but once they're back in school, certainly.

Further questions will be answered directly on asks as they come.

I'm really excited about the questions I might get, also a bit terrified about the questions I'll get after Chapter 44, but of well, the show must go on.

Love ya lots, Lils xx

Series Masterlist | First Interlude

Taglist: @rayrlupin @callmelovergirl @warcelia @ireneop @endversewinchester @moonyunebi @smuttysluttybitch @mazzymoons @drugs-for-memes @sofiacblair @vmpir3lvr @remuslupinisbae @rabluver @willgrahamisalesbi4n @thatobsessedreader @itskailey24 @hell0-kittie @belovedmoony @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @cassie-love20 @starchaser-lily @zucchini-queenie @springflwer07 @sseleniaa @cometsghost @orkwardx0 @imdoingbetternow @sbrewer21 @remuslupinsbae @maxinehufflepuffprincess @wifiatthetrainstation @unstablereader @msblacklupin @oliversaurus @jaylienpotter @remussbitch @hermionelove @izuoyarmin @themarauderswife7 @keira-kaz2y5 @lampthemacarenagod @bugg06 @a-n-1-m-3-f-r-3-4-k @darlingeels @kissmeunicornbaobei @xluansstuff @boo8008 @angelmixer @voteforintensedreams @allons-y-molly @aremuslupinsimp @imaginexred @writingshae @nyanwyn @poetrypirate @crazyhorseforgot @saturnhas82moons @ryeyeyer @mothraantics @maqqiekwon @desikudisworld @pastelorangeskies

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icanseethefuture333 · 6 months

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i would really appreciate your advice, i was a loner in high school because i was teased due to my looks and social anxiety. and although i've glown up in appearance and am more social, i still feel really insecure... i graduated but i still feel this way... thank you

Pretty face, even prettier soul - a guide to inner beauty & confidence.

What to do when you look like a princess, but don't really feel like one?

I want to mention this is something I struggle with all the time. Even some of the most beautiful women in the world struggle with insecurities. Celebrities even create personas and alter egos to appear as more confident, when deep down they are actually dealing with anxiety. So anon, I personally believe you've always have been beautiful, but people were not kind or patient to you given the fact you were still a child going through puberty. I'm sorry you had to go through that, truly! You have to learn that what those bullies said or did to you isn't true and it is not your fault for what happened. Give your inner child the grace and kindness that those kids in your school never gave to you. Now that we have discussed that, let's move on to our guideline.

1. Take back your power

Our subconscious is filled with past memories and everything we experienced from the moment we are born into this world. Our parents, teachers, family members, people on television, etc, have taught us how to speak, read, and write just by merely talking to us or showing us letters. That is a very powerful thing to do! From babies to toddlers (AKA the early development stage), people are able to program an infant's mind. Not to mention, our brains don't even fully develop until our 30's. So what thoughts do we actually have to ourselves? Our feelings. We may have opinions or personal tastes, but that could easily influenced by the media and trends surrounding us.

You have to be in control of what your feelings are and what you will allow to take from others. We all experience unfortunate events and pain that is inflicted from others, but it is never right to inflict that same pain onto ourselves. I want you to acknowledge how those people in high school hurt you and write down in a journal how it makes you feel. Now, ask yourself - do those same words you remember hearing linger in your subconscious mind? Do you often have doubts or thoughts that transpire into feelings of unworthiness or insecurity? That my dear, is the toxic pattern that needs to be addressed and stopped immediately.

Do this in a safe and calming place (this might be triggering so do it when you are ready to).

Visualize the memory of the event of where you heard these harmful words said to you. What location did it take place? Was it brief? Did the situation last for a long time? Was there a lot of noise, or was it more quiet? How does your inner child feel in this situation?

As the memory comes back to you, tell your inner child that everything is okay, and that you are there for thrm now, that you will be their protector.

Take back your power from this situation and these people, tel them everything you wished you could of said. It's okay if you get angry, sad, or any other emotion. It's also okay if you want to forgive them or even don't. That's entirely up to you.

I recommend doing Shadow work, since healing from past trauma is a lengthy process, but this meditative exercise is a great start for addressing the problem you're facing so far.

2. Perception

How we perceive things in the world is different for everybody. For those of us with social anxiety or insecurity, we are more hyper aware of our surroundings and have a hard time relaxing. We are observant of those who give us looks or speak to us in a certain tone, but how is that look or tone deciphered? For example, you could be having a conversation with a close friend and the way she is looking at you or her tone doesn't seem to be the nicest, so you tell her this, then she says "oh I'm just tired, sorry if I'm not sounding too excited right now!". To you, you percieve her as aggravated and cranky, while to her she thought she was being geniune, friendly, and giving her best to be attentive to what you are communicating to her. This an example of how our perceptions can differ in the world. No one is wrong or right regarding this.

Keep in mind that you are perceiving things from your perspective and try to look at things from a different point of view. Most people are conscious about themselves because they don't embarrass themselves or look a fool, but actually most people don't pay attention to everything they're feeling insecure about. They might even like what you're insecure about or find it beautiful, and if they don't, it's not the end of the world!

Try to create a new lense and envision yourself in a more positive light. You could even practice affirmations, listen to music, or do activities that make you feel more confident. When we do the things we love, we often experience more feelings of joy or happiness!

3. Inner child healing

Oh you thought I was done talking about the inner child? Lol you thought wrong!

Our inner children are the last piece of the puzzle. They are the core essence of our self concepts and without them not feeling well, we are gonna feel the same 🥺!

When we were young, we all had our unique quirks that was deemed possibly weird, annoying, or silly, but what people don't understand that's just how children are! They are so creative and fun and have so much potential in their young minds, hearts, and souls!

You having feelings of insecurity because you are not seeing the beauty and lovable qualities that your younger self had. You are thinking that because "physically" you had a glow up or transformation now that you are more beautiful, but in actuality you are just now blossoming into a young adult. I just find it hilarious that society really brainwashed us into thinking that being "done" with puberty means we had a "glow up". You are still going to change and transform over a time. A tree is never done changing throughout the seasons. Sometimes it will be green and rich, with many leaves during the summer, then it will be all dry and brittled up during the winter. You never stop evolving as a human.

Let go of this way of thinking because it is not going to help you heal from your insecurity, addressing those issues will.

Do activities with your inner child, journal about them, think back to your childhood what made her happy or feel beautiful before any devastating situation happened. Children are really delicate, and this is you as a child, so you need to be kinder to yourself.

Perhaps find a picture of yourself at this age and praise or give them words of affirmations" "You look so nice today! I am so proud of you!".

4. Be yourself 👑

Ultimately, it comes down to realizing the potential and magnitude that you possess inside. You have to realize that there is, or are, going to be people who love you because you are just being you. You don't have to please anyone who doesn't fancy you, because I mean - who the fuck are they if they don't even like you? They're totally irrelevant. You have to see what others find so great about you and maybe even discover parts of yourself that is actually amazing. Our self concept is perceived in various ways. There is how people perceive you and then there is how you perceive yourself.

How do you wish to see yourself? Do you wish to continue thinking negatively or being harsh towards yourself? Or would you like to be able to come to a place of peace and to see those insecurities actually become a strength of yours?

Lastly, all I can say is be patient, once you start taking care of yourself and your inner child, things will be able to progress from there, but it is a process and a journey. So don't try to rush it.

I hope you find this helpful anon, take care 💕

#ask #anon #confidence #mindset #inner child #healing #trauma #anxiety #self concept #shadow work #advice

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uselessheretic · 2 years

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Ed, Trauma, and Coping

I wanted to examine the way Ed's character is broken into several archetypes throughout the series and what these roles tell us about him. This will be talked about from a trauma-informed perspective, but I am not a psychologist so take anything I say with a grain of salt.

Throughout the show, we see Ed represented through several versions of himself, all of which have a different name: Edward, Blackbeard, and The Kraken. All these identities are a part of who he is, they're not performances or something he's forced into doing by others, but serve a purpose to Ed of ensuring his survival. This unconscious splitting of self is a result of sustaining substantial trauma at a young age and acts as a coping mechanism that he carries well into adulthood.

Extent of Trauma and Impacts Now

It probably goes without saying, but Ed got issues. He grew up in an impoverished household where he was exposed to domestic violence at a young age. We only see one scene depicting the violence he was exposed to, but as an audience we can infer that this wasn't the only act of abuse he witnessed his mom suffer. It's also likely, although not canon or confirmed, that Ed was also subjected to some form of abuse as well. With the way he behaves and what we've seen of his childhood, it's more or less definite that Ed has c-PTSD, complex post-traumatic stress disorder. c-PTSD differs from PTSD by being a series of traumatic events sustained over a period of time, and can have more extreme and long-lasting symptoms.

We can see the way that this shaped Ed the most clearly in episode 6, where Ed is triggered within the show and experiences a flashback. We get a glimpse into the severity of the impact of his trauma here by a few things. One of the most significant being his memory loss.

When Ed says that The Kraken killed his dad, he wasn't lying. In the moment, that was what he believed, it wasn't him telling stories for a laugh. When children suffer from highly traumatic events, their experiences can be too much for them to handle, and as a form of protection their minds will put up barriers to spare them the pain. This often carries well into adulthood until something comes along to trigger the memories and erodes the barrier. The combination of preparing to kill someone he knew personally, along with being exposed to the imagery of The Kraken, tore down that wall and forced Ed to re-experience his repressed memories.

Another indicator to the extent of his trauma is that when he goes into a panic state he hides, and we see that the flashback he's experiencing isn't a single moment, but is ongoing even as Stede talks to him. It's common for flashbacks to distort of the person's reality, where it's not just a memory they're revisiting, but an event that they feel like is happening to them again in detail. Even when Stede knocks on the door and opens it we can see the way Ed flinches, and how this blurs into the moment of his father throwing dishes and striking his mom. There's a blurring of reality occurring here.

His trauma leaves him immobilized, hypersensitive, and in a reactive fearful state. Basically, he got issues. Really big issues.

Compartmentalization of Self

Ed got issues, but also, Ed is an extremely successful and famous pirate. We see him blow up and isolate at times, but we also know that he's renowned worldwide and has the skills to back it. The way he's able to achieve this is through compartmentalizing his trauma and taking on different selves that suit his need.

Those selves are: Ed, Blackbeard, The Kraken, and although not named in the show as such, his childhood self.

The way I like to think about them is through the lens of the Internal Family System, a model of psychotherapy that identifies several parts/sub-personalities as a way of addressing trauma. And I would like to reiterate again, I am not a therapist and I don't have training or anything. This is just how I chose to interpret Ed's character. I'm playing fast and loose with this, and wanna try to not go too far in depth on the specifics.

Anyways, I' leaning on Bessel van der Kock his book The Body Keeps the Score for how I'm defining terms in this.

So, a brief introduction

"The core of IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy) is the notion that the mind of each of us is like a family in which the members have different levels of maturity, excitability, wisdom and pain. The parts form a network or system in which change in any one part will affect all the others. In trauma parts of the self go to war with one another. Self-loathing coexists and fights with grandiosity; loving care with hatred; numbing and passivity with rage and aggression. These extreme parts bear the burden of the trauma. We all have parts that are childlike and fun. When we are abused, these are the parts that are hurt the most, and they become frozen, carrying the pain, terror and betrayal of abuse. This burden makes them toxic – parts of ourselves that we need to deny at all costs. Because they are locked away inside, IFS calls them the exiles.

At this point other parts organize to protect the internal family from the exiles. These protectors keep the toxic parts away, but in so doing they take on some of the energy of the abuser. Critical and perfectionistic managers can make sure we never get close to anyone or drive us to be relentlessly productive. Another group of protectors, which IFS calls firefighters, are emergency responders, acting impulsively whenever an experience triggers an exiled emotion."

Parts of trauma, abuse, and pain is pushed onto the "exile" who carries that burden and is often locked away. Protectors exist to protect those exiles: Managers who handle the day to day life keeping things together often through perfectionism and criticism, and firefighters who respond in emergencies that act out in extreme and often damaging ways. It's all one person, struggling to cope and putting on the necessary hat in the moment to do so.

Van der Kolk goes on to say:

"Each split off part holds different memories, beliefs, and physical sensations; some hold the shame, others the rage, some the pleasure and excitement, another the intense loneliness or the abject compliance. These are all aspects of the abuse experience. The critical insight is that all these parts have a function: to protect the self from feeling the full terror of annihilation."

Seeing the way Blackbeard and The Kraken are treated in the show immediately reminded me of this since they fit so well into a manager and firefighter role, respectively. Ed's clear throughout the show that he is Blackbeard and he is The Kraken. They're not performances, they're a part of himself and they serve a purpose: Protection.

Blackbeard, the Manager

The first iteration of Ed we meet is Blackbeard, the feared infamous pirate captain. As the manager, he's built himself up from poverty and abuse to be in the high place he occupies now.

Blackbeard is cruel and violent, but he's also calculating and brilliant. He's applies a rigid control to his entire ship, using fear, violence, and manipulation to hold his crew to a set standard, and is even able to offload the worst of his actions onto them while still reaping the benefits of his reputation.

Ed wouldn't have survived this long without Blackbeard. Blackbeard gets shit done. Blackbeard gives him power, he evokes fear and respect. Blackbeard has kept him going for as long as he has.

Edward, the Child Exile

One thing I love and find really interesting about Ed is how when he's triggered or feels emotionally unsafe, he reverts to behavior that's more childish in nature. We see this in a couple of places, whether it's hiding in a bathtub clutching a soft fabric, or fleeing tearfully from mockery at the French dinner.

These moments come at high points of emotional insecurity and are ones that are coupled with flashbacks to his childhood trauma, tying it directly to his younger self. It's an incredibly vulnerable place for him to be in, and for the majority of the ones we see on screen, Stede is present to reassure him and let him know he's safe. He defends him from the French captain's insults and does so again when he's hurt at the party. More than that, he's available to offer assurance that this part of him is okay to have. Whether that's telling him he wears fine things well or affirming that he's his friend and agreeing to pretend the whole murder plot never happened. These moments in the end are ones with positive outcomes and healthy developments for Ed.

That is, of course, until Stede himself is the cause of triggering his exiles. David Jenkins had said before that Ed hadn't ever been hurt by rejection as badly until then. When he triggers his exile, it's severe. Not just a few minutes of heightened sensitivity and fear, but days long of hurt and hiding. He builds a pillow fort for comfort! Which might seem silly, but is heartbreaking when you consider that survivors of child abuse often will try and physically hide even as adults as a learned behavior.

And this time, Stede isn't there to pick up the pieces. Lucius and the crew try, and to some extent, it does help as they assure him that his feelings are valid and that he will be okay. That, of course, gets majorly fucked up when Izzy intervenes (which I have MANY thoughts on lol) and confirms all of Ed's greatest fears that he is weak, vulnerable, and in danger. Another commonality with survivors of child abuse is viewing your childhood self with contempt, a weaker version who has to be isolated and ignored. Stede spent weeks making Ed think that was untrue, and when he left it showed Ed that he was right to want his childhood self gone.

It's only natural for Ed to not want to confront this part of himself. It makes him feel weak and scared, and that's a tragedy in and of itself.

"Keeping the exiles locked up stamps out not only memories and emotions but also the parts that hold them – the parts that were hurt the most by the trauma. Schwartz: “Usually those are your most sensitive, creative, intimacy-loving, lively, playful and innocent parts. By exiling them when they get hurt, they suffer a double whammy – the insult of your rejection is added to their original injury.”"

And what happens when Ed is at his lowest, most vulnerable, hurt in a way he hasn't felt in decades? The Kraken comes out.

The Kraken, the Firefighter

Oh, babygirl...

The most important thing to remember about The Kraken is that he's there to keep Ed safe. He's the last resort, the weapon hidden behind glass to break in case of emergencies. The Kraken isn't there to hurt Ed, he's there to protect him.

Bessel van der Kolk describes it like this:

"Firefighters will do anything to make emotional pain go away. Aside from sharing the task of keeping the exiles locked up, they are the opposite of managers. Managers are all about staying in control, while firefightrs will destroy the house in order to extinguish the fire. I’ve met firefighters who shop, drink, play computer games addictively, have impulsive affairs, or exercise compulsively. These can blunt the abused child’s horror and shame, if only for a few hours."

We first meet The Kraken when Ed is young through the murder of his father. And it's easy to view The Kraken as defined by violence and violence alone, but The Kraken wasn't born to hurt, he came from the desperation of a young boy trying to protect his mother.

When we see The Kraken commit acts of violence, they're not explosive moments fueled by rage, but ones seemingly calculated to achieve the best effect. Lucius, the person other than Stede who saw him at his absolute lowest, was tossed overboard with a smile on Ed's face. I'd argue we can see shades of this in other places too, often it follows moments where we see Edward, the child exile, touched upon.

Edward screams that he's not a donkey and kicks the captain; The Kraken hands Fang a fork and says to skin him.

The Kraken was also something formulated by Ed at a young age, and you can tell with the way he acts. He's cruel and violent, but there's a childishness to it too. He's committing these acts of violence, but at the same playing dress-up because it makes him feel safer this way. He switches between marooning Stede's crew and sobbing at the windowsill alone.

Ed's hurting and The Kraken is willing to sink the entire ship as long as he can make that pain stop. But just like the manager and the exile, this is still a part of him that's just trying to survive. He can't lock away the negative aspects of his person and call it a day, he tried that with Stede, and it ended in disaster. None of these are performances or false selves, they're all him.

So, what now?

Ideally, he'd go to therapy, but I've heard that it may be hard to access in the 1700s or something.

What Ed needs is a safe place, where he can learn how to cope with his feelings without fear of exclusion or hurt. That doesn't mean accepting everything about him no matter what! Stede should probably tell him that it wasn't cool for him to try and murder his whole crew. Still, Ed needs a place where he can feel safe to express himself.

It's not just that he feels embarrassed to do so, it's that the totality of his emotions is too much for him to bear. When Ed said he wants to curl up and die, that's not him being dramatic, that's an expression of how hard it is for him to deal with this much emotion at once and the vulnerability that comes with it.

Like I said, it isn't as simple as deciding that The Kraken and Blackbeard aren't his true selves and that they need to be locked away. They're here for a purpose: to protect Edward.

Although they may not always fulfill that in the most balanced way possible, they still serve a role, and in some ways, there's some gratitude that needs to be expressed to them for keeping Ed alive. Because there's no way that Ed would've survived all these years if it wasn't for them.

In a season 2 (dear lord, am I manifesting) I'd really love to see Stede interact with all sides of Ed, especially The Kraken. He might not always make the best choices, but The Kraken is just trying to survive, and I'd love to see him treated softly and with kindness.

Ed is coping with an immeasurable loss, triggered, and scared. Survival and destruction can look shockingly similar when in a state like this, and mistakes are easy to make. Naturally, it doesn't excuse his actions, but it's a very human response based on coping in the only way he knows how.

#our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd #long post #ofmd meta

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ihatetaxes99 · 1 year

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The Digit-Al Rant (Because I am insane)

Well, since I'm a Lovecraftian being who feeds off of ranting about things literally nobody else cares about, tonight I'm going to go for broke and make my most obscure rant yet. A rant about a certain character. Not just any character, mind you; A character that hasn't been relevant in over a decade and arguably, wasn't even relevant back when he was still being used. In spite of this, the character still holds a special spot in my weird, black heart.

We all know corporate mascots. Cute little characters designed to entice you towards forgetting that the company they represent burned down a factory with eight hundred children inside for insurance, and buy their products again. We've had a lot of mascots over the years. Super Mario, Tony the Tiger, some others that I can't be bothered to recall right now. Mascots are a staple of modern culture. And in 2006, the UK government, and particularly the BBC, was facing a crisis that only a cuddly little mascot could solve.

They had to… Convince boomers to make a minor change in their lives. This is where you can place the Dracula sting in your head.

Yes, how many of you have heard of digital switchover? How many of you care about digital switchover? Well, come the mid-2000s, it had become clear to the British government that the old analogue television was not really going to cut it anymore, now that those dastardly Yanks were making films and television series with high-quality equipment. Analogue was quickly becoming outdated and they needed to make the switch to the far faster digital switchover sooner rather than later.

And so, began the creatively titled UK Digital Switchover scheme. The plan was thus: From 2008 until 2012, the entirety of Britain would undergo a switch to digital television. This meant higher quality images, 1080p, support for modern TVs, things of that nature. During that time, they needed to make the general public aware of this, lest riots break out over Coronation Street being interrupted by the switchover. So they initiated their campaign as early as 2006. And at the head of it was the mascot of the event, one Digit Al (geddit?)

Digit Al was a little robot fella, who initially had glowing blue eyes, although this was altered in later promotional material to remove the glow. His very first outing was a very charming little commercial where Al would interrupt the show that was on at the time, directly addressing the viewer and informing them of the Switchover. In this appearance, he was voiced by comedian Matt Lucas, who gave a certain awkward charm to Al, making him a bit of a klutz, albeit an incredibly friendly one. Lucas would voice Al in at least two more adverts.

However, after these three ads, things would change. Around the time that Al's eye glow was removed, Lucas stopped voicing the character; In fact, Al would never again, for the duration of the campaign, speak. He was relegated to a background character while the narration was provided by some random fella doing a voiceover. As the Switchover went underway, Al would be used less and less, as promotion moved from informing the public of its existence towards explaining how to set up your television for the switch. From 2008 to 2011, Al's roles were sparse.

Until, interestingly, 2012, the very end of the Switchover. By that point, Wales, England and Scotland had fully switched over. And this left just one nation in the UK that was yet to do so. The ugly little brother of the group that no one really likes and, coincidentally, my own home country. Northern Ireland. By October of 2012, NI would be the last British nation to still have analogue television, as the stations had been shut down entirely everywhere else. And then, in October, the sword fell. From the tenth to the twenty-third, the Switchover began. And this is when Al made one last appearance.

On the closure of both BBC 1 NI Analogue and BBC 2 NI Analogue, Al appeared on the final message screen and, in the case of the former, made a brief cameo in plushie form in the final seconds of analogue television's existence in Britain. One last goodbye to nearly forty-nine years of British television.

So, why did he suddenly come back for Northern Ireland of all places? Was he an ardent Unionist? Well, I can't actually find any reason behind this. Each channel was basically allowed to do whatever they wanted, with some giving cute little goodbye messages and others cutting to static in the middle of a news broadcast about dead bodies being found (I am not joking, by the way. Imagine that being the last thing you see before your telly cuts out). If I had to make a wild conspiracy theory, then maybe the NI staff decided to use Al since this was the final stage of the Switchover. Once Northern Ireland was done, then the entire scheme was completed. Might as well give him one final wave.

When all was said and done, the UK successfully transitioned over to digital television without any major issues and Al faded away into nothingness. The obvious reason for this is that he was created for one sole purpose. He was not a BBC mascot, he was a mascot for the Switchover specifically. What are you supposed to do with him once it's all done? He had outlived his usefulness, so to speak and so, the cheeky little bugger was taken out and sentenced to an eternity of wink-and-nod cameos during various other BBC promotions over the years. Of course, it probably didn't help that they stripped all of his personality out of him after Lucas left the project and resigned him to a kind of ugly-looking CGI robot, but still. I like Al for what he was, what he represented. As someone who grew up in the 2000s and early 2010s, Al is almost a symbol of my childhood, a bygone memory of simpler times. For that, I'll always have a soft spot for the little fella.

A few interesting links:

https://youtu.be/cerk8CDG8BE - The first advert with Digit Al

https://youtu.be/mWM3KuXidrA - An example of a post-Lucas advert

https://youtu.be/qecN3kmH9Hw - The hilariously unsettling example of the Switchover interrupting a rather morbid news report (it's the first section, BBC Two Scotland)

https://youtu.be/1p8d2Uo8pJk - The Switchover message from BBC 1 NI, the final few minutes of analogue television in all of Britain. Includes the Al plushie cameo.

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kudamono94 · 2 years

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Thinking about a modern AU where CEO Ningguang sees the director of the funeral home (Hu Tao) a few addresses down from her office building try a ‘company bonding day’ with a picnic in the park while playing laser tag or smth. Seeing how dull the her own office is in comparison, Ningguang gets to thinking about doing something nice for all the hard workers on her director’s board, and finally decides to invite Keqing, Ganyu, Yaoyao, Yelan, and a few select others to Dave & Buster's for a mandatory ‘day of fun’ to boost company morale

You know, like how offices do on sitcoms and stuff

It goes...about as well as you expect it to...

Yelan and Yaoyao seem to be the only ones having a great time there period, although given how easily tired Yelan gets, she ends up taping out an hour into the ‘event’ and ends up driving home so as to avoid potential embarrassment from said condition. Meanwhile, Yaoyao ends up getting into occasional heated debates with the staff every time she tries to go to the bar for another beer OR whenever she tries to play a seemingly age inappropriate game, and after this happens one too many times, also decides to tap out after calling a taxi. She is oddly satisfied that her car is still parked on the premises if only because she thinks that it is a minor inconvenience to the establishment. (It’s really not as Ganyu will just end up driving her assistant’s car back to the latter’s house later so that Yaoyao can still show up for work tomorrow on time)

Although she insists on remaining sober the entire duration of the event so as to play the role of the designated driver should any of them need a ride home, Keqing is left oddly defeated once Yaoyao and Yelan dip, and spends the rest of the time there just...hanging around Ganyu as the former has absolutely no idea what she should be doing. Thankfully, the blue haired woman doesn’t mind her company, and aside from playing a few rounds of bowling with their boss, both girls spend the majority of their time there catching up on their personal lives

Given that Ganyu is also just as sober, the two end up having some meaningful conversations with one another, and aside from giving a few of the easy looking games a try, decide to more or less just sit and eat some pizza in a corner booth where they aren’t bothered by anyone else while enjoying each other’s company. That said, by the time it starts getting dark outside, and they along with Ningguang seem to be the only people left, they (especially Ganyu) try to get Ningguang to leave with them and, although the girls are reluctant to leave without their boss in tow, they eventually leave to mill around in the bookstore next door for a few hours in the event said boss wants to change her mind about leaving with them.

However, when it quickly becomes apparent that this isn’t happening as the sun begins setting in the evening sky, Keqing and Ganyu end up parting ways before heading home, happy that at least the day they spent with one another wasn’t a total waste of time they could have spent working

At least until Ganyu comes back later around 9 for Yaoyao’s car anyway XD

Lastly, Ningguang, the one who booked a time there and set up everything to begin with, doesn’t mind the screaming children or the large crowds there, but she deeply ends up regretting insisting they all eat there...

She honestly spends a good portion of the ‘event’ either trying to balance the company’s budget so that her employees can have a good time without worrying about work (she didn’t think everything would end up being so expensive and had thought using the company’s credit card would work as far as paying for everything was concerned) OR tries to get into playing smth like bowling and getting distracted by trying to make sure that this event is a success, that everyone is a having a wonderful time~ Despite all this, she is still the last to leave and refuses to let anyone pay for either their game tickets, food, beer, etc., and even ends up bribing the guy at the prize counter to let her get some work appropriate souvenirs so as to commemorate the occasion (which she will distribute at the morning meeting the following day, as well as some aspirin should there be any potential hangovers)

Overall, while the entire ordeal isn’t the huge success her employees would be talking about for decades like Ningguang had hoped, everyone seems to have enjoyed themselves to a certain degree in the end, and as far as she’s concerned, this particular endeavor is a win in Ningguang’s eyes...

Just...maybe next time they could do something much less loud and a lot cheaper lol

#Genshin Impact #Genshin Impact Headcanons #Kudamono94's Writing #Ganyu #Keqing #Yaoyao #Yelan #Ningguang #Tbh this came across as more of a drabble like thing rather then headcanons but at the same time I think that tag still works?#Anywho #This was just a small concept I had I thought I'd share so I hope you enjoy reading it~#Also if I got either Yelan or Yaoyao's personalities wrong I apologize lol #I have Yelan but I'm still trying to get a grasp on her personality via her voice lines and her cutscenes from that last archon quest #she reminds me a bit of a Lisa or Yae type character but I don't really know too much about her so I'm not so sure?#I guess I need to finally sit down and play her story quest huh...#As for Yaoyao she reminds me a lot of Pinoko looking back at how other characters talk about her #So given she's not playable yet I wrote her using the latter in mind since again they seem very #simular to one another if that makes any sense?#Either way with Sumeru finally having a confirmed release date I just really want Yaoyao to come home lol #I already have Ganyu so now I just need her assistant~#Gonna build myself a Qixing team~

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projectcubicle1 · 4 months

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Great Leaders Are Seen and Heard - The Value of Daily Interaction With Employees

Every successful leader knows what they need to do to make their organization more productive and work environment more positive – engage their employees, preferably every day. The benefits of positive daily interactions with employees are, after all, many and far-reaching: increased morale, enhanced work satisfaction, better collaboration with team members, and, ultimately, increased productivity. The question is not whether you should check in with your employees on a daily basis, it’s how to do it without making your employees feel like you’re micromanaging them. Below, we give you the best (non-suffocating) ways to be seen and heard regularly by your team so you can create a workplace environment that fosters trust, boosts morale, and ultimately drives better results.

Building Trust Through Visibility

No one likes a manager (or any other type of leader) who only shows up when there are major announcements to be made, or there is a crisis to be avoided. While the presence of a leader during such moments is extremely important, if you want to build trust with your employees, it’s not enough to surface only during big events. Daily interactions, whether in person or through digital platforms, even if very short, are what is needed to build a foundation of trust. And this really is a foundation – if your employees don’t trust you or feel uncertain about your commitment to the team, they’re likely to feel anxious at work. But by being present and consistent each day, you show that you are approachable, willing to address concerns promptly, and open to feedback.

Boosting Morale Through Recognition

Research shows that recognition can be a powerful motivator. Best of all? It doesn’t even have to come in the form of monetary incentives (although money never hurts, of course); even symbolic rewards like public recognition and congratulatory cards can greatly boost the performance and motivation of employees. Here’s another reason to acknowledge your top talent regularly – this action helps reinforce positive behavior, which, by extension, helps improve your entire workplace culture. So, make sure you consistently recognize and celebrate the successes of your team members. A simple "thank you," or a brief note of appreciation can go a long way in making employees feel valued.

Driving Results Through Alignment

One of your most important tasks as a leader is to make sure everyone on your team is on the same page, helping each other reach those weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. The only way you can do this effectively is through regular communication with your employees. Daily interactions that consist of updates on strategic objectives, progress reports, and discussions about future plans can help align your team with the organization’s goals and vision. When employees understand how their work contributes to the broader picture, it creates a sense of purpose. Regular communication ensures that everyone is aware of the company's direction, making it easier for individuals and teams to align their efforts toward common goals.

Applying Lean Methodology to Strengthen Relationships

Now that you’re hopefully thoroughly convinced of the importance of daily interaction with your employees, let’s delve into practical tips for making it a reality. Because the purpose is to find a way to have daily talks with your team members about their work without smothering them or wasting their (and your) time, it’s a good idea to adopt a lean process improvement methodology here. Why this process? Because it can help you streamline communication while building a foundation for strong and collaborative connections. Schedule Regular Check-ins with Purpose: In lean methodology, the emphasis is on purposeful activities that add value. Apply this principle to your one-on-one and team meetings by focusing on critical discussions that contribute directly to goals and productivity. At the same time, avoid unnecessary details to ensure that each interaction serves a meaningful purpose and adds value to your team members' work. Use Digital Platforms Strategically: Lean methodology encourages the elimination of waste, and this extends to digital communication as well. Use technology purposefully, choosing platforms that enhance collaboration and information sharing while minimizing unnecessary steps. Be Visible and Approachable Most of the Time: It’s good to be seen and heard most of the time, but there’s no reason to hang around your employees all day, every day. Using the lean process improvement methodology, it’s easy to discover the most important times a leader should be present – during team meetings first and foremost, by participating in (virtual) coffee breaks often, and by walking around the office occasionally. Encourage Continuous Feedback: Lean methodology is all about continuous improvement, and you should be, too, when it comes to your approach to feedback. Be open to input and seek it out from your team members in order to create an environment where they feel comfortable sharing thoughts, ideas, and concerns.

In Conclusion

In the hectic world of leadership, taking the time for daily interaction might seem like a challenge, but the benefits far outweigh the investment. Your team looks up to you not just for guidance but for a connection that goes beyond the professional realm. Your daily interactions shape your work culture, so be present, be heard, and be the great leader your team deserves. Read the full article

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mikuni14 · 10 months

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La Pluie Ep 12 - was it really a series about soul mates?

Since I have very little time to watch series lately, I'm trying to be more careful about what I watch and what I spend on my limited time. (besides, the quality of recent series coming out is so poor that there is literally only ONE drama that I am waiting for every week and actively looking for time to watch it) That's why I decided to read the reviews of the La Pluie finale first before watching it, because this series simply doesn't spark much joy in me and I decided to watch the episode only if the reviews are sensational 😉

The series actually ended for me at episode 11, where the parents finally addressed the hearing loss and connection phenomenon in a meaningful way, it was also abvious that everything would end well for the two main couples, so I didn't feel any special need to watch the finale.

The absolute majority of the reviews come down to the excitement because of LomfonTien and the GL couple, and some vague mention that, oh yes! right, there was also a main couple, but whatever, did you see Lomfon and Tien kiss? 😀 So I decided to skip the ep.

That’s why correct me if I'm wrong, beacuse I have some final thoughts and since I skipped the finale, I may have missed something: - after all, it has not been explained what this whole phenomenon of hearing loss that happens in the rain is all about, right? - what surprises me is that this phenomenon is not studied in any way, it just exists, it has a whole romantic sugarcoating and some random dude in Thailand one day just cancels it, his soul mates parents are getting divorced and no one studies it, no one checks it....?????? plus soul mates connection that include that random dude consists of 3 people and yet it does not end with poly??? - since the parents are divorced and everyone is chill about it, since there was a couple at the beginning of the series who were not soul mates, although the guy had a hearing loss, since Tai rejected Lomfon, then from a scientific point of view, this rain connection is NOT a soul mate type because if only in this one Tai’s "social bubble" we see THREE couples who are NOT TOGETHER despite hearing loss, in a short period of time, then this phenomenon must be more common and therefore "connection in the rain means being soul mates" should already be overthrown - unless this couple from the cafe and Tai's parents are a phenomenon on a global scale but apparently no one cares 😀 - Tai breaking the connection simply because he doesn’t want it literally undermined the whole idea of soul mate. as far as I can see, no one cares about it, he doesn't devote a single moment to this shocking?, groundbreaking? event (which personally doesn't surprise me, Tai is an extremely self-centered person) - basically, the hearing loss, the rain connection, is just a means to tell a romantic story and has nothing to do with soul mate trope. I feel cheated 😁 I was waiting for some revelation, but I got the ordinary, simple love story and relationship, which I don't foretell happiness remembering Patts' burst of aggression and Tai’s tendency to avoid problems and his selfishness - the series supposedly punched the viewers at the very end for the ‘wow’ effect?, giving Tien a hearing loss?, ok, coolcoolcool...... but why?

I liked the scene with Tai's parents in ep 11, but I still have one question: if Tai's mom and her new husband want to have a romantic evening, or go to bed and it starts raining, isn't that awkward? How do they feel about it, after all, her ex-husband HAS TO FEEL IT, Tai felt Patts kissing his ex. The series showed parents as "just parents, asexual beings who only talk to each other about kids" lol. But they’re not just that! How does a wife's connection with her ex-husband, independent of their will, affect a new marriage? They will never be completely alone! Wife and her ex will have a whole ass converstaion, or at least be aware of each other and the new husband will be just... out. 🤔

Ultimately, I didn't like La Pluie, or to be more specific - I didn’t like the main couple and the fake soul mate element. At the beginning, the concept of soul mate in this series seemed to me to determine people's choices, but in the end it turned out to be completely irrelevant since it can be canceled at any time and people can choose who they want. That’s just love, it has nothing to do with soul mate trope. So what was it for? The idea of soul mates is that two people have no other choice and their story is either about their "journey" while being soul mates chosen by destiny, or about their "journey" where they become soul mates (which is basically the same thing lol depending on the amount of supernatural in it). And they can't just cancel it, control it, choose someone else, because it's something often beyond understanding, it's something spiritual, bordering on supernatural! It is a heavenly union of two souls that often transcends time and space! None of this was in La Pluie, I really feel cheated 😀 I think it's time to take a time off from work and watch The Untamed, see the real soul mates 😎

#la pluie #thai bl #bl drama

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edwinfdib716 · 2 years

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15 Most Underrated Skills That'll Make You a Rockstar in the How To Sell Concert Tickets -- StubHub Industry

youtube

Folks used to view ticket reselling unflatteringly. The plain acknowledgment of words scalping reminds shady characters loitering on road edges, marketing concert tickets for a higher cost to individuals who could possibly not obtain one for on their own prior to they marketed out.

In this resource, our company will certainly talk about exactly how to sell gig tickets and bring in loan legitimately. Carries Out Ticket Reselling Way? Ticket marketing ways you purchase show tickets at a lesser rate and also then offer all of them at a higher cost to gain income.

Ticket re-selling is actually a lawful trade that happens in compliance with federal government or even local laws. The reseller purchases these tickets coming from a certified homeowner who is up to date with any type of ticket-selling regulations in the territory. Make Your Money Work A Lot Better for You

In contrast, ticket scalping is actually commonly illegal because scalpers perform certainly not follow local area laws overseeing the sale of How To Sell Concert Tickets -- StubHub tickets. Heading is occasionally described as a dark market.

However, it may be tough to say to the difference between the pair of, as described through's director of development as well as interaction, Willpower. He points out, "The lines are actually blurring in between a specialist scalper as well as an individual who offers their tickets. Back then, brokers will possess to facsimile one another improved inventories. Right now, that relevant information is actually easily offered to vendors online."

Bonus Offer Offer: Locate a Bank Account that Suits Your Way of living. $100 Incentive Deal for New Bank Account Customers. Is Actually Ticket Reselling Profitable? Ticket reselling is actually most definitely profitable, although it could certainly not appear so to some individuals. Why would certainly a person purchase a ticket for $1,000 when it was being offered for $700 earlier?

When you are actually getting tickets for re-selling, you must be actually very key regarding the tickets you opt for. There is actually no factor in obtaining tickets for an activity that is actually extremely unlikely to offer out.

Here are some factors to think about when you acquire tickets wholesale: Musician's Appeal Is actually the musician performing at the show incredibly preferred? As an example, if is conducting, you understand answers will certainly sell out rapidly as well as any individual who missed out on out are going to demand to buy tickets at almost any kind of rate.

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Ticket Kind Some tickets are actually far better than others due to the fact that they could be closer to the phase or even have VIP arrangements. It is actually tough to get these tickets as a reseller, you can easily gain a significant sum by offering all of them since they commonly strike to additional committed followers who are actually ready to spend more to be actually closer to the performers they adore.

One more point to maintain in thoughts is the area or area in which the show is actually taking place. Perform people in that location possess non-reusable profit?

Create Your Funds Job A Lot Better for You Bear in mind that performances occurring in prominent locations are joined by additional folks. Thus, their tickets are actually in greater need.

Weekend break events commonly usually tend to be more well-liked than gigs stored in the course of the full week. Since individuals are much more likely to possess a day off and also really want to go out, try buying tickets for weekend shows.

How To Sell Show Tickets

You are going to need to make an account now. Some concerns you need to have to address feature the variety of tickets you have in your belongings as well as whether you will deliver or email them.

As soon as you have done this, specified a rate for answers. There are actually two possibilities for this; going down rate and set. The last is actually obvious, however if you pick the falling rate option, will slowly reduce your tickets' price as the event approaches to keep all of them reasonable.

You have to choose the repayment strategy. Newspaper examination as well as PayPal are actually pair of readily available methods. Permits you contribute the profits from ticket reselling to charitable organization if you are actually feeling reasonable.

is actually a ticket broker that asks for a higher fee but likewise possesses extremely high purchases website traffic. Help make sure you value your tickets as needed. Observe these steps to offer concert tickets on the website:

#Youtube

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nicholasbaudelaire · 2 years

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Cosy dinner with the family

Layne Baudelaire

This was a long awaited moment that needed to happen. Since Layne stepped back in foot in town, knowing she would be here longer than just a week, once of her main desires was to fix their family dynamics that existed in their household. Despite her cordial attempt to be in contact with her father while out in Chicago, she knew in her heart it was not even close to enough to the reconciliation she desired from Roman. Nicky was far more forgiving and willing to welcome back the man with open arms so it seemed. On the other hand, Matty seemed to want absolutely nothing to do with the man. Following the recent events and almost losing her father, Layne was encouraged to do a better job at connecting with her father and for her family to find some since of wholeness and resolution to the brokenness that had lingered for so long. Layne and her brothers were all adults now. They had the ability to comprehend things far more convoluted and complicated now and Layne would like to believe they could get over this hurt that had stolen so many years from them as a unit.

The best way to go about this was to get her father in the house before they showed up. Layne couldn't even recall the last time they all sat down and had a meal together, so she was hopeful. Knowing this night would not be drama free, she was just praying they were somewhat closer to bridging the emptiness that had been present since their youth. At the sound of knocking on the door, she quickly ran over from the kitchen, smiling as she saw her father waiting, relieved he did actually show up tonight. "Hey! Come on in." This was the first time he was entering her space and although rather odd, she was thankful that he finally did get a chance to see a glimpse of her beyond the basic knowledge he knew of her and the woman she became. "I'm really glad you showed up. How was your day?" she asked closing the door behind him before leading him into the living room. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Roman Baudelaire

For the first time, Roman was invited to a family dinner. The moment he received the invitation from his daughter, he jumped at the opportunity to join his three kiddos for a meal. However, when the day came the werewolf nearly cancelled with some lame excuse. There was the fear things would spin out of control and he would completely lose all three of them again. Yet, he couldn't hurt his daughter again because of his cowardice.

As he approached the address, he could be seen in his best clothing. The shirt was worn and need of some mending, but it was the best he had. With a small tray in hand, he knocked on the door to be greeted by his beautiful daughter. "Hey Boo," he softly smiled a bit nervous about the whole thing. "Um, I brought a meat and cheese tray. Is that okay?" The man remembered it was customary to bring something to dinners and a bottle of wine seemed like a slap in the face so he went with food instead. "Uh not too bad. Yours?" He questioned awkwardly knowing there was a lot of tension between them. "Do you have sweet tea? If not, black coffee or water will be fine please." Roman looked around, "your brothers gonna be here soon?" He asked curiously. "Oh, do you need help with the meal?"

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nick had arrived not long after Roman, in fact he was coming up from behind his dad's figure, but he stayed just far enough a way to go unnoticed. He was smoking using a vape pen, hoping the minute amount of weed would stop him from feeling like an over excited, over nervous kid that should have had a nap hours ago. He hadn't smoked enough to get high, but just enough to stop him wringing his wrists.

From his vantage point, the wolf watched his father looking... actually rather clean and a little more like the man Nicholas remembered. He exhaled with a small cough. Nick had dressed up for the occasion and was wearing a khaki suit that had some pale pink and yellow floral detailing on the lapel. Beneath it, was a rose satin shirt, that hung a little loose, so he didn't look over dressed, and certainly his long tousled hair tended to prevent him from looking too smart.

The werewolf then slid the vape pen back into his suit jacket pocket and hooted noisily as he hopped up the stairs to Layne's townhouse. Though the door had shut behind Roman, Nick used his spare key to let himself in, and he was first confronted by his father.

"Dad, looking good" Nick grinned, his blue eyes bright with excitement. If her was nervous, it was carefully hidden by the giddiness. Nick reached forwards to pull his dad into a hug - something he realised they hadn't actually done as adults - when his sensitive nose caught a whiff of something... A little awkwardly, the outstretched arms then shifted into a handshake and a friendly pat on his dad's upper arm. "Hey!" he repeated with a hesitant smile before turning to look at his sister "Layne, you look like a fucking movie star as always" With Layne, Nick did envelop her with his big arms, lifting her off the floor.

Matthew Baudelaire

The last to arrive, Matthew’s entrance was further delayed when he pulled up in his car and recognized his father’s truck parked outside of Layne’s house. “You’re fucking shitting me,” he exhaled under his breath as he put the car into park and for a few moments sat in his car with his fingers pressed against his lip, eyes locked on the immobile truck, warring with himself on whether he should just drive away or suck it up and go inside. His eyes glanced toward the front door of Layne’s place, imagining what might be happening on the other side of it. Nicky’s car was outside as well so it seemed the whole family was there already, everyone but him. Were they having a good time? Would his arrival ruin it? Was it tense and awkward? He wasn’t sure which would be better or worse and anxiety riddled his gut, wrenching it horrifically and his appetite now entirely gone with the prospect of seeing his father

He pulled out a cigarette and lit up the end as he inhaled a slow drag and let the smoke stream out from his nostrils. He decided to wait and finish his cigarette before making a decision, trying not to let his anxiety fester but he was struck with his inability to move from his seat as his mind played out every worst case scenario and the worst of all being that somehow his presence was the unwanted one.

Layne Baudelaire

"Oh you didn't have to bring anything, but I appreciate it." Taking the tray out of his hand and placing it on the island counter in her kitchen, she went to fetch him some tea. They were off to a good start. Her father showed up, he was thoughtful and brought something to share, plus he cleaned up nicely which wasn't a requirement whatsoever but she appreciates the effort. "Everything is pretty much done, but thanks." Layne had prepared a spread of some of the dishes she was able to master with a few pieces that her mom would always have during their special meals and celebration. It was always important to her, to keep the memory of her mother alive as much as she possibly could. "Yes, they should be here hopefully in the next ten minutes or I'm gonna ring their necks out," she joked lightly before returning with his drink. "And my day was pretty decent." Beyond the regularities of work, today actually seemed the least stress free it had been in past weeks.

Just like clock work, she heard Nicky come in and as to be expected she was hoisted off the ground. He seriously was taking these werewolf powers to heart and every single time she couldn't help but roll her eyes at the grand hug she was always greeted with anytime they got together. "Thank you Nick," she chuckled as she was placed back down on the ground adjusting her outfit. "Look at you Mr. Suave. Coming from a hot date are we?" Last they talked he was still sorting things out with this girl named Bella. The way he pranced into her home she could only assume all was well with his demeanor. Then again, he always had a strong facade of optimism and making the world see that everything around him was okay and well. Looking down at her phone she could only hope Matty wasn't far too behind and wouldn't be deterred from what would be occurring tonight.

Roman Baudelaire

Once Roman handed over the tray, he stood there quietly with his hands in his pockets. While his daughter fetched him a glass of tea, his eyes wandered around her place curious about her tastes. "Alright, sounds good." Roman sucked in a breath of air before returning a pleasant smile along his lips.

Soon enough, Nicholas entered and Roman. "Peanut," he greeted his son. Just as they were about to hug, Roman noticed the hesitation in his youngest and realized Nicholas could smell the alcohol on his breath. His eyes shifted a bit, slightly ashamed. For Roman, a shot or two of whiskey was nothing. He just needed it to help soothe his nerves about the evening. Instead, they settled on an awkward handshake and hopefully an understanding of please don't tell your siblings eye glance. Eventually, Roman sat down. "Everything smells good," he told Layne as his eyes kept moving from his daughter to his son. By his knee bouncing up and down and his silence, it was evident he was nervous.

Nicholas Baudelaire

Pity. That's what Nicholas felt for his father in that moment, where they exchanged a glance, and he could see Roman's silent plea for him to stay quiet. Nick gave the worlds smallest nod and said nothing, he would say nothing. He looked like every other sad and sorry junkie and addict that had passed through the ER doors at the hospital, and it made the wolf's heart squeeze painfully. He didn't want to see that when he looked at his dad. He wanted to see the man who used to launch him overhead like he weighed nothing, and who swaggered about the school playground, collecting his kids, making every mother, and the odd father, stare admiringly in his direction.

Fucking adulthood ... the wolf thought with an internal sigh. Realising your parents weren't perfect, and still loving them anyway, that had to be one of the harder lessons of adulthood. That and realising money really didn't grow on trees.

"Why thank you!" Nick grinned, rolling his hand in the air flamboyantly and bowing jokingly to his sister. She was not wrong, Nick really knew how to mask everything with jokes and optimism.

"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't... maybe I have desert all lined up for later" he added mischievously before rounding the dinning table. Of the four seats available, he was about to sit next to Roman, before the sudden visceral image of Matty and Roman sitting opposite one another, Matty scowling, Roman losing patience... it was enough to make the wolf move to sit opposite his dad.

"What about you Layne?" Nick's jovial, loud voice boomed across the room as he addressed his sister, trying his hardest to look at ease, smiling occasionally at his dad then looking away quickly so it didn't look like he was smiling too much. "Any chance Ollie's coming by later, or someone even yummier?"

Matthew Baudelaire

It was quiet in his car as white wisps of savoury smoke filtered slowly out from the slightly opened window and Matthew had taken to watching as the smoke was whisked away by the gentle breeze, trying not to think too much about how the night was ultimately going to go because if he thought too much about it then his anxiety would surely cripple him and he’d simply turn the key and drive away and he didn’t want to do that. Fuck it, he thought as he got out of the car and doused the cigarette butt against the sole of his boot before flicking it away and performed the very average task of walking up to the front door and unceremoniously letting himself inside without a knock as was his usual way when he was expected. Once inside he could already hear the raised voice of his brother who always seemed to forget his base level volume was set to booming and as he rounded the corner toward the dining room the jovial tone aggravated him intensely, feeling very much like he’d walked in on their party only to sour the mood.

“Nick, Layne,” he greeted his siblings with an uncomfortable nod and then glanced toward their father, “The fuck is he doing here? Thought this was supposed to be family night.”

Layne Baudelaire

As her brother and father talked, she began to put the various dishes out on the table next to the kitchen, just happy to have them in their space. Despite the fracture that existed in their family with their relationship to Roman, Layne knew her mom would be proud of them for trying to make amends. Handing her dad the tea she couldn't help but roll her eyes at brother's lack of secrecy.

Nicky always had a way of annoying her but leaving a smile on her face almost every time they were together. He also had away of making the space around her feel light and removing tension from a room. She was only hopefully it would be on full blast tonight. As she continued to put the remainder of the dishes out on the table, she gave her brother a glare at the mention of Oliver. "No. Unlike you lot, my dating life is nonexistent." Roman didn't need to know anything about her love life. Not yet at least. Layne hadn't even told him when she was engaged back in Chicago. Only her brothers knew of that and she wanted to keep it that way. Those were parts of her life she was not privy to sharing with someone she hardly knew.

Just as she placed the last dish on the table, Matthew strolled in and she could already tell he was pissed. Great. At his comment all she could do was give him a death glare to put a lid on it, as to not be ruder than he already was. "Hello to you too." Layne knew this wasn't going to be an easy night but she wanted to at least try. "Come on Matt? Seriously? Don't be an ass." If he continued with these antics she had no problem kicking him out. "Dinner is ready guys."

Roman Baudelaire

For the most part, Roman stayed quiet unsure how to connect with his adult children. A brow lifted at a mention of someone named Ollie, but the man kept his mouth shut figuring it was best not to say anything on the matter or give his two cents. Even if he was not the best father, there still was that paternal instinct of thinking no one could possibly ever be good enough for your little girl. Plus, it meant coming to grips at the fact she wasn't that four year old girl who he would bounce up and down on his knee a different life time ago.

Before he knew it Matthew entered the scene and he felt a slight tightness in his chest. Out of the children, it was clear who resented him the most. "I thought you knew," he softly stated now feeling this was a huge mistake. Roman's dark eyes turned to Layne. "I can go." He offered. Yes, he wanted to be there with all three of them, but he also knew he couldn't handle another fight with Matthew. It was getting a bit too much for him to handle lately.

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nick was tired. Though he rarely showed it, or acted like it, he was fucking tired. He had been through somewhat of an emotional roller coaster in the last few days, and he hadn't fully realised till right then, how much he needed sleep. Dread hit his stomach when Matthew entered the room with a face like a restrained thunder, and instantly threw ice into the already tense atmosphere. It occurred to that perhaps he was too tired for the usual Baudelaire family bull shit. The wolf's shoulders sagged and he was relieved that his sister spoke first. Her intolerance of the nastiness meant he didn't have to defend his dad or back up his brother. He thought for one moment, Layne might be able to handle the two butting balls of the family, but then, their father was offering to leave. Two minutes in. Typical.

"No." Nick finally spoke sounding as weary as he felt "No, Layne cooked for us. We'd never leave mums table without eating and thanking her for the time she spent making the it, so we're going to afford Layne that same respect."

It was odd to speak about their mum in front of Roman, and Nick sensed that. Never the less, he ploughed on, jutting his chin out and looked over at his older brother. Despite his stern words, when he looked over at Matthew, he was clearly trying to look bright again.

"Bro you look good, but not nearly as muscly as me, so come sit your ass down and get some protein in there!"

The words were teasing, normal, but his face did not exhibit it's usual playful mirth. There was a strain there.

Matthew Baudelaire

Truth be told Matthew was also exhausted. He was tired of being angry all the time, tired of feeling on edge, tired of feeling like he had to deal with the tumultuous chaos that his father kept inviting into his life. A lot of it was his own doing but he laid a lot of the blame on his father’s shoulders for having caused it in the first place. Before he started trying to forcibly insert himself into their lives things had been good and calm and now it seemed that calm had been shattered. Even now, what would have normally been a chilled out dinner with his siblings was now a tense and awkward situation thanks to the introduction of their father being present. He looked between Nicky and Layne, trying not to let their obvious agitation feed into his growing anxiety that it was him causing the discord so he steeled his emotions, sucked in a breath and sat down beside Nicky quietly because no way in hell was he going to sit next to Roman. In fact, he decided then and there not to engage with him for the duration of the dinner. He could at least be civil enough to try and not poke the proverbial bear that was their father for the sake of his siblings. If they wanted to sit together and pretend to be all buddy buddy they could do that but it only emphasized the growing disconnect Matthew was beginning to feel of being the only one not able to move on or play pretend.

Layne Baudelaire

"It's fine, everyone is staying. I didn't burn myself for nothing, now let's eat!" Layne could understand there was a different perspective each of the siblings had towards Roman. Nicky was far more optimistic than the two of them, Layne just wanted peace and to actually build a relationship, whereas Matthew probably would have been content without any involvement. She was just thankful Nicky said something, let alone bring the thought of their mother in the atmosphere. Layne wholeheartedly believed Carina would want them to figure this out.

They didn't need to be one happy family, but they should at least be able to converse without tension when in a room together. Although, they had varying views and stances towards the man, she thoroughly believed that it wouldn't do them any good long term to actually live their lives without Roman's involvement. Let alone in a town that they were all in. People would be able to read through the bullshit sooner or later.

Sitting next to her father, she began scooping some salad onto her plate before passing the dish his way. Now that they were seated all the conversation topic starters she had ran through in her head completely went out the window and if it weren't for the soft music playing in the background this would have just been incredibly awkward. "So, what you two losers get up to today?" she asked looking over at her brothers. Nicky would be reliable. Matthew, she wasn't sure what she'd get from him if anything at all.

Roman Baudelaire

During times of distress, Roman would turn to alcohol. Right now, with the hostility he felt radiating off Matthew he wanted to drink and he hated himself that his mind kept doing math in his head on when he could get his next drink after he leaves there for the evening. The mention of Carina stung, he lowered his head as his mind went back to his wife. Went back to the family meals that Nicholas mentioned. Swallowing the lump in his throat he looked around at everyone.

When Layne settled down next to him, he offered a smile. "Thanks Boo," he commented as he stared down at the salad. Since his turn into a werewolf and the fact he was adamantly working on putting himself into an early grave, he didn't eat veggies that were not fried. However, as an act of good faith and knowing how much Nicholas wanted to see him take better care of himself he placed some of the greens on his plate.

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nick smiled when Matthew sat next to him and made a mental note to rugby tackle the man into a hug later on before sharing his vape pen. Boy deserved it. The wolf felt a burst of warmth towards both his siblings. It wasn't easy for them, he knew that, but Layne was trying to work things out, or at least move past them, and Matty was... well, he was seated; that was something.

At Layne's question, Nick beamed.

"Well, I finished a shift this morning. Found a vampire who was still infectious for tuberculosis just not suffering from symptoms! He wasnt suffering, but still infectious" Nick's grin might have seemed a little jarring considering the context, but the wolf had always wanted to specialise in epidemiology in supernaturals, but his gift kept him tied to the ER, so being able to help diagnose a creature with a disease they should have naturally rejected the instant they turned was ... thrilling. "So, that was exciting!"

The wolf's blue eyes landed on Roman's plate of green and he felt another squeeze. He was filling his dad's fridge with all things green and fresh but hadn't been to optimistic that Roman was actually eating it. Seeing the older man opt for salad gave Nick a little burst of hope and so in solidarity he too began piling his plate with greens. Not that Nick wouldn't demolish the other dishes too, this was only his first serving after all.

"What about you guys?" he asked, offering the question to the table rather generally.

Matthew Baudelaire

“Didn’t realize vampires could have tuberculosis,” Matthew commented in regard to Nicky’s excited proclamation. “Good job, Nicky,” he said to the younger, more excited male as Matthew proceeded to fill his plate with a portion of everything that Layne had laid out on the table. Matthew snuck a sideways glance at Roman as if to gauge internally how much he was willing to say to his siblings about what he’d been up to now that their father was present and then looked away toward Layne, “I had my last shift at The Cage that ended this morning,” his shift usually ended around three in the morning, “And then I just had a few classes and spent the afternoon helping build a greenhouse for the community garden.”

Layne Baudelaire

Passing the various dishes around, she was hoping even if all else failed, at least they would be satisfied with the meal she prepared for them. If anything, she had a talent for pastries and was hoping that the a strawberry cheesecake waiting in the fridge for them would be a high point if nothing else. However, time would only tell how long this would go before food was being tossed at one another or more like between Matthew and their father.

"That's gross Nicky. I honestly don't know how you do that." The clean-freak in her could only hope her brother showered five times and sanitized everything around him prior to coming to her apartment. It was commendable, but with zero interest in medicine, Layne would prefer to look the other way. "You're turning into a green thumb now Matty? I hope to see produce on my doorstep weekly then." It was an interesting transition, but she was happy to know her brother was moving onto new opportunities beyond The Cage. Even from a far in the northeast, she always did her best to keep tabs on her brothers and the things happening in her life. Some days she was filled with regret for not being with them 24/7, but she'd like to think if she stayed in Opulence all that time she would not be the woman she was today. "I worked, almost had an aneurysm, and then went shopping and almost fought a lady over the last box of strawberries, so that was fun!"

Roman Baudelaire

With this being the first family dinner he has had in over fifteen years, Roman was desperate for this evening to go well. The man was still rattled with nerves as his knee continued to bounce up and down under the table as he started to eat his meal and listen to the three children converse about their week. It was nice, just being included and getting to be around all of them.

A smile formed hearing about Nicholas's catch at the hospital. Everything good that came from Nicholas came from his mother and that was a gift all unto itself. Some part of him thought about complimenting his son in his achievement, but stayed quiet. When Matthew chimed in, his eyes went over to his eldest and was stunned to hear he quit The Cage. It was a place they had in common and now they didn't. But even Roman had to admit that was probably for the best. "Classes?" The words piqued Roman's interest curious if it was college related. "Uh, nevermind." He quickly added, knowing Matthew wouldn't have anything to say to him anyway. And then his baby girl spoke and he softly smiled and chuckled at the idea of Layne tackling an old lady. "Guessin' you got the strawberries in the end?"

Roman continued with his meal, "everything taste amazing Boo, thank you." The werewolf's eyes glanced back down at his plate as he ate. There was a part of him that thought very briefly to say something, but he was positive whatever he asked or said would be the wrong thing. Yet despite his nervousness and questioning himself, he did open his mouth. "You have a nice place Boo Bear, you did really good for yourself."

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nicholas grinned, exposing all his white teeth at Matthew's comment.

"They can't, and they're rarely carriers, so it was exciting... if dangerous for warm bodies" he added, forcing himself to look a little more serious as technically, the the vampire had been a threat to even himself. Still, it was hard not to get excited about diseases... for Nick anyway. "Thanks buddy!" The wolf poured himself a glass of water, which he drained loudly before attacking his bed of leaves. He had his heart set on the pie and so was making quick work of clearing his plate.

Nick listened as his brother detailed his morning, he could picture his brother in the community gardens, elbow deep in dirt and shrubbery. It was such a calming image that it made him smile to think of his brother enjoying such a normal, soothing hobby.

When Layne passed around the dishes Nick quickly accepted and loaded a huge portion of food onto his now empty plate and began wolfing it down with relish.

Nicky's sister's opinions on his work always made him feel surprisingly heroic, it made him feel accomplished, like he was doing something no one else could - despite the many doctors he worked alongside - so he grinned gleefully at Layne.

Nick whooped at the description of Layne's battle with someone over strawberries and her clapped.

"Of course she won, our girl's got bite!" Nick joked loudly, though his confidence in Layne was resolute. At the word bite he gnashed his teeth at his older sister and continued eating happily. All was going well, he thought, they were all talking, there was food, everything was good!

Matthew Baudelaire

His cold eyes glanced toward Roman who voiced some vague interest in the fact he was taking classes but noted that the older man quickly seemed to drop the subject. It kind of shocked him how at ease his siblings seemed to be right now, particularly Nicky, who was his usual high energy self, joking and exclaiming and laughing as if everything was fine. Technically, everything was fine, it just didn’t feel like it for Matthew, who couldn’t seem to shake the bitter taste growing at the back of his throat as he kept catching sight of his father and sight alone was usually enough to agitate him so the addition of hearing him speak was like nails on a chalkboard. Even Nicky’s good attitude was feeling like an offense. Was this how it was going to be from now on? They were just going to invite him back into their lives as if nothing had happened over the last few years? He’d stopped eating at this point, just pushing food around on his plate with his fork as his jaw clenched and worked visibly, perhaps those with advanced hearing could hear the grinding of his teeth.

“I can’t do this,” he finally said with a seething exhale between the bars of his teeth, “I’m not pretending to be some fucking happy family as if he hadn’t left us for the last sixteen years,” he could almost hear a high pitched tone resounding in his ears as he looked between his siblings as if to ask with his incredulous eyes how they could manage to forgive a man who had abandoned them when they’d needed a father most, how could they want to have a relationship with a man who time and again picked alcohol and drugs over his own family. There was pain in his eyes, hurt and anger but also a hint of envy which only fueled his other emotions, because how were they capable of moving on from all the hurt while he still felt trapped in it.

Layne Baudelaire

"Thanks dad," she said rather softly at the compliment. Layne had always tended to be one who despite her high achieving nature remained incredibly bashful. It was nothing beyond what she was able to afford and she figured it was suitable to her needs and a reflection of the time and energy she's put into herself, career, and life overall. If anything, she'd hope the place made him realize the capabilities of his children and that they were well sufficient without him. However, it did not replace or fill the void that her life was good enough. There was still that lingering piece and she could only hope in due time that the hole would be filled to some degree, if not entirely.

At the sound of Matthew, she quickly looked over to him placing her fork down glaring at him. Layne knew the shift was coming, but being twenty minutes into dinner she was hoping it would have waited a little longer. There were always general conversation at dinners and she figured it was in the best interest of everyone to ease into the conversation seeing how long it had been since they all sat at a table together. Letting out a sigh of frustration she looked over at Matthew, "Do you really think we're all fucking naive? We're trying Matt. Yes, he's been gone for the past sixteen years, and quite frankly we've done rather well for ourselves considering the circumstances, but that does not negate the fact that we can't make the decision for ourselves to move beyond that." Everyone here at the table was an adult and capable of making their own decisions. Layne understood that the three had been a tight-knit unit and Matthew was the ring leader of that. However, Layne never wanted to just be the girl whose mother died tragically and whose father was the drunkard and butt of a joke. It's what made her want to leave Opulence to escape the false narrative beyond the perception that people held of their family. "If you don't want to be here Matt, you can leave."

Roman Baudelaire

Despite Matthew's cold shoulder, everything seemed to be going well. Both Nicholas and Layne were being cordial, talking and even Matthew said a few words. Roman for the most part kept to himself, saying a few things here and there. But trying desperately to watch what he said as not to offend anyone or cause a scene. Yet, he felt the presence of Matthew's cold eyes on him and he could hear his son's heartbeat, breathing and grinding of the teeth and he knew the bubble was about to burst.

Roman turned his head away from the children, unable to look at any of them in the eyes as he spoke. The ache in his chest was getting tighter and the urge for a drink was getting stronger. Roman needed something in his system. Anything to help dull the pain.

"No," Roman softly said as he used the table to help push him up in a standing position. "I--I uh, um." Words were difficult as he looked at the three of them. "He should stay, I should go." It made the most sense. Matthew in many ways was a second dad to them and he didn't want to create a wedge between his children. The man desperately wanted to be part of their lives, but maybe that was selfish on his end. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took on a ragged breath. "I'm sorry. I uh, I'll see you around."

Nicholas Baudelaire

"Well that lasted all of five minutes..." Nick muttered when Matthew lost it, shovelling one last mouthful of pie into his mouth and chewing. He focused on his clenched fists as Matty spoke, he knew the minute he looked at his older brother or his dad his heart would break and he wouldn't be able to finish the mouthful.

When the wolf did finally look up, hefin first exchanged a wide eyed intense look with Layne before turning to face his brothers' look. Yep, there it was - that look of hurt and anger, and what Nicholas read as betrayal. When he dragged his blue eyes to then look at Roman, he swallowed hard. The man went back to looking like the sad, small creature that had replaced his dad, and it hurt.

Layne's speach was a little surprising. Kind of enlightening, but it was also so far removed from the subjective pain the three men bore. Layne had left, she had gotten away, she hadn't sat in the mess, had to hear about her dad's behaviour and actions, all the while knowing he lived three miles away and never bothered to stop by. Layne had the bliss of ignorance from not having kept tabs on their father's boozy antics and sad living arrangements. He was happy for her, she sounded... healthy, mature, grown. But her family just wasn't there. If he was honest with himself - which he never was - Nick would have realised, even he wasn't there.

"Oi!" Nick finally snapped at his father's offer to leave "You don't get to walk out the instance one of us expresses an emotion, that's not how family is!" despite his desperation to reconnect with their father, Nick was scowling at Roman. His fists were clenched so hard that the glass in his hard cracked, and he quickly released it knocking the glass over, spilling the last dregs of water over the table. He hastily wiped the small pool of water with a napkin, before looking at Roman with a softer expression "Please, don't go... we haven't even had desert!"

At that Nick looked over at his brother and began to stand.

"Let's go get that desert, eh?" he offered, lifting his bushy brows as if to indicate that he wanted more than cheesecake.

Matthew Baudelaire

Matthew knew he was alone in his feelings but knowing so didn’t make the slap of his sister’s words any less biting when she told him he could leave. He’d felt apprehensive about this from the start, the moment he pulled up in his car and saw Roman’s truck parked outside he knew it would be him to ruin the night, made worse when he realized he'd been the only onw who hadn't known Roman was going to be there and like a self fulfilled prophecy it was happening right before his eyes but he was too far gone now to retract the wrecking ball as it plowed through the dining room, reaching a point the moment Roman started to stand. Matthew stood from his chair so rapidly he knocked against the side of the table and his chair skidded backward as he glowered with surprising intensity at the older man, “You sit back down and stay. For once in your goddamn life don’t run away.”

He looked at Nicky's pleading expression when he suggested they get the dessert from the kitchen but he shook his head in an action that was so minute it would easily be missed. “You heard Layne,” he said, voice flat as he pulled his chair against the side of the table where he had once been sitting, “I’ve been excused,” his tone accusatory as he moved around Nicky’s bulky frame and headed for the door. He tried not to slam the door shut behind him but it perhaps sounded like a hard slam either way and the cool air immediately greeted his too hot face, flooded with emotions that he worked to quell. His rapid stride carried him to the side of the road where he sat on the curb in the quiet expanse of the outside and smoked, filling his lungs until his head felt light and the tightness of his chest was a little less noticeable. Fuck.

Layne Baudelaire

Layne knew what she said to him was harsh and from Matthew's reaction there was a slight part of her that wished she could retrieve those words. However, it didn't make it any less true. They all had various perceptions of her father and Layne certainly would not say her eldest brother's perspective was not invalid. Matthew had to take on more than herself or Nick combined. Thrust into this role when he still himself was a kid, in hopes that they would not be defeated by the curveballs life continued to throw at them. However, Nicky and Layne both were doing well for themselves. Matthew did far more than he needed too and they turned out okay. Layne wished he would let go and just take on peace for his own life. As she watched her brother walk out, she ran a hand over her face before getting up. "I'm gonna go check on him, you guys can help yourself to the cheesecake and whatever else is in the kitchen," she responded offering a soft smile to Roman and Nicky before heading outside.

Taking a seat next to her brother, she brought her legs close to her chest, before placing her head against her knees looking over at him. Matthew changed. Layne could see in his eyes and on his face. There was a sense of weariness and exhaustion etched over his body and clearly his mind."What gives Matt? Why are you so dead set against forming any type of relationship with him?"

Roman Baudelaire

It frustrated Roman to think Nicholas thought he was trying to take the coward's way out this time. In reality, Roman just wanted to avoid a fight or cause issues between his children. After all, he done enough of that when he disappeared.

Matthew startled him with his words. If it were anyone but his child saying that to him, he would have knocked out the person's teeth without a second thought. However, it really unnerved him seeing Matthew in such a state and he eased back down in the chair without a word as he watched everything take place and Matthew storm out the front door.

When Layne spoke and headed after Matthew, Roman remained quiet. The usual appetite he had was gone and all he could think about was his next fix. Just something to help as his hand started to shake, causing him to move it to his thigh so Nicholas wouldn't notice.

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nicholas stared after his brother's figure, still half standing, and didn't even flinch when the door slammed behind him. When Layne said she was going to go after him, Nick almost pleaded with her to stay. He suddenly didn't want to be left alone with his dad. In all of their recent encounters, Nick had always been a kind of peace keeper, somewhat removed from the situation because of that role. Having snapped at his dad, and then been left alone to sit with him left Nicholas feeling unsure.

Nick didn't look at Roman as he stiffly straightened up and began slowly, and clumsily clearing plates. Though he had eaten a fair amount in the short amount of time, Nicholas could see that Layne's and Matthew's plates were only half eaten, so he carried their plates out into the kitchen where he could leave them on the side. When he returned with the cheesecake and several plates, Nick's face was still somewhat unreadable. His eyes were glassy and his lips were set into a firm line. His father's heartbeat seemed as loud as a drum and the constant shaking or moving Roman's was doing were all indicators of his addiction and even though Nick was a doctor, even though he understood the symptoms, he just wanted to shout at Roman to sit fucking still.

Instead, Nick sat down, dumped the cheesecake in the centre of the table and placed the dishes and cake knife next to it. When he poured himself a glass of water, he poured one for Roman too and said very quietly.

"Would a beta blocker help?" he didn't meet his fathers' eyes when he offered the medication, he kept his blue gaze on the swirling colours of pink and crème in the cheesecake. He was pretty sure his dad would say no, shrug it off, and Nick didn't want to show his irritation when he did.

Matthew Baudelaire

"Why?" Matthew repeated her question to him with genuine surprise, granted she'd been in Chicago for the bulk of their adult lives but she'd been there for the entirety of their youth and experienced the same things. Except that wasn't entirely true afterall. Matthew had made sure that his younger siblings didn't experience the same things he had seen. He tidied away the empty bottles, poured drinks down the drain, shooed them to the other room when Roman got drunk and erratic, carried the bulk of the struggle on his too young shoulders and told them nothing of the night Roman had hurt him. So he sat there and did the same thing as he always did, smoked and said, "He doesn't deserve it. He can't just decide when to be a father because it's most convenient for him now." He swept his tongue across his lips and looked out across the road, "What's the point of having kids if you don't stick by them when it gets hard. I'm not going to let him walk back into my life as easily as it was for him to leave it."

Layne Baudelaire

Layne's heart tightened as she heard the pain through her brother as he protested against any idea or notion of having a relationship with Roman. In part she understood it, Layne had always been an observant kid and she wasn't clueless to the efforts of her brother to keep her and Nicholas out of harms way. Matty had painted a pseudo imaginary world around them so they wouldn't have their innocence completely stolen as children when they were growing up. However, despite the efforts, Matthew couldn't protect them from everything.

"You're harboring something Matty. I don't know what that is but I'm afraid it's going to eat you alive," Layne said rather frankly. From the moment he stepped into her home she could feel the tension quickly enter the room. Their clearly was history and animosity towards each other and she was not clear as to where that stemmed from. The bitterness and disdain he held towards Roman was deafening. "You're allowed to feel whatever you want towards him, fine. But I can't just sit by and not fucking try. There was a reason mom married this man and I'd like to believe whoever that person was still exists." If he does exist, Layne wanted to know more about him. They didn't just draw father's day cards and go out for ice cream on special days for nothing.

Roman Baudelaire

The eldest Baudelaire remained seated, he would have offered to help clear the table, but he was not sure if it would have been welcomed. Instead, he just sat there quietly trying to push through his own little crisis as his body was giving him away. Of all the children to be left alone with, Nicholas could hear Roman's body betraying him. The young wolf could smell the scent of perspiration taking place as small beads of sweat started to form along Roman's forehead and neck.

As Nicholas returned with the dessert and plates, Roman didn't say anything until his son poured a glass. "I'm fine," he responded in an exhausted breath as he lifted the glass, his hand still shaking as he took a sip. Although, logically he knew Nicholas could tell what was taking place with his wolf senses and medical training. Roman didn't want to admit something was wrong or that he needed help. So he remained quiet as he waited for Layne to return.

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nick nodded once. His father had rejected the medication, just as he had expected him to, but he wasn't annoyed now, just weary. He whipped his phone out of hic pocket to check the time, then placed the phone down on the table by his place setting.

"You doing okay?" he eventually asked, unsure if he could cope with the continued silence. He was viscerally aware of his father's physical struggles, and even if he hadn't been the older wolf's son he would have pitied the man. Nick pushed the napkin at Roman's side towards him with tis knuckles, as if to indicate Roman might use it to dap at some of the perspiration. "Matty just needs a minute" Nick said without much conviction. He wasn't sure what his brother needed, but it was for damn sure more than a minute.

Matthew Baudelaire

Once again Matthew was all astonishment at her words, the disconnect between her experience and his own was so jarring that he felt absolutely certain there would be no agreement met between them. Nicky at least understood it more, maybe because he’d been here while Layne had left. Matthew naturally felt himself closer to his brother because they’d stuck by each other through thick and thin. He still felt close with his sister but there was no denying there was a slight degree of separation and he was suddenly made very aware of that fact.

“The man mom married died in the war,” Matthew said to her with a sideways glance that was very cool and flat, all seriousness and dark, “If you’re waiting for him to reappear you’ll be waiting forever.” That was an absolute certainty. “You can choose to try if you want but you didn’t even give me a choice. You didn’t tell me he was going to be here. I was fucking blindsided, Layne … but if you want to reconnect with him then I won’t stop you,” he swallowed hard and tapped a finger against the side of the cigarette to dispense some ash that rained down on the concrete between his feet. “Go back inside,” he said to her softly, lips pressed against the filter of his cigarette, “I’m just going to finish this and then I’ll go back in.”

Layne Baudelaire

Layne believed that people were redeemable. That past actions could be rectified by intentions and actions in the future. Roman would never be found in the position he once was before her innocence and youth was tragically taken away. However, she'd like to think there had to be some redemptive qualities that existed. Otherwise, if Roman truly did not care, he would not have showed up at all. Letting out a deep sigh at her brother's comment at blindsiding him she looked ahead. "That was the only way to get you here. If I had told you before you would have shutdown the idea immediately," she said. Layne wanted to know what it was and she was angry with him for not letting her know. If she was family, she should be trusted with his thoughts or at least she thought it was. Perhaps it was simpler back then. "Whatever," she said softly before heading back into the townhome.

Opening the door, she looked over at her brother and father sitting at the table. Layne really could use some wine right now but didn't want to tempt her father with any alcohol. "I hope you guys saved me a slice!" she said plastering on a smile before walking over to join them. Taking a seat, she looked them both in the eyes with a slight shrug, "Can't really say if he'll actually come back in or not. I'm sorry."

Roman Baudelaire

The man looked at his son pushing the napkin towards him, there was a sense of embarrassment as he lifted it and pressed it against his forehead to get rid of the sweat. "I'm okay," he lied to his boy. At the mention of Matthew, all he could do was nod. Matthew and his relationship were far more complicated and he wasn't sure of his eldest would come back.

A sigh of relief left his lips as he heard the door and Layne stepped inside. As she placed a smile on her face, Roman tried to smile but was unable to. "It is okay, he has his reasons." He simply stated. "I'm gonna have to head out soon, work and all." Which would have been true the night before, but what he really needed was to leave before the signs of his withdrawals started to become clearer.

Nicholas Baudelaire

Nick grimaced in sympathy at Layne. She had gone into the evening with such good intentions, had worked hard on the food and had tried to calm the waters. It wasn't her fault that Matty and Roman had so many secrets and anger between them that they couldn't move forward.

The wolf looked past Roman and tried to peer out of the window to spy his brother. It just didn't feel right having him outside, while they were all inside, it felt somehow like Nick was betraying him by stayed seated next to his sweating and shaking father. Yet if felt wrong to abandon the man who was not only struggling internally, but also externally. None of this stress could be good for his blood pressure, Nick knew that much.

Torn, Nick's heart gave a painful thump and he pressed his hand to his lips while Roman stated he should be getting going soon. The child in him wanted Roman to stay but the adult, the doctor, the brother, knew Roman needed to leave.

"I'll pack you up some left overs and cheesecake to take away" Nick said, leaping to his feet again. He didn't need to check with Layne, he was always stealing food, and he knew exactly where her Tupperware could be located in the kitchen. The wolf was eager to avoid looking into his dad's sorrowful face, as well as eager to make the house a safe space for Matty to re-join. It felt like his heart was tearing in two, and Nick just wanted to change and run and howl until it felt a million miles away.

Matthew BaudelaireToday at 01:29

Once alone, Matthew took the silence of the evening to collect himself and remind himself that he wanted to be better than their father who had disappointed him so many times that he no longer believed there was any hope for a reconciliation at this point. He was too far gone, knew too much, kept too much inside of himself but Nicky and Layne still seemed hopeful and as much as it hurt Matthew to know that his efforts to fill the gap of a missing parent from their lives weren't ever going to be enough, he ultimately would do whatever they wanted to make them happy. So he finished off his cigarette with one final stream of smoke that got carried away by the gentle breeze and then headed back inside.

His steps were measured, careful as he rounded the corner that led to the dining room and quietly took in the atmosphere, Nicky bustling in the kitchen, Layne sat at the table and Roman beside her shaking like a leaf that might get blown away at any moment. It was honestly pretty pitiful. He supposed a part of him felt bad for the part he had played in it but not entirely, mostly he felt bad for having messed up the moment for Layne and Nicky but since he didn't know what to really say he just kept quiet.

Layne BaudelaireToday at 02:17

This entire evening had gone to shit. Layne knew that trying to mend her family after all this time and being gone would be a challenge. However, in this moment she felt defeated and preferably just wanted everyone to go home at this rate. In her good conscious she knew she tried and that's all she could do. The pallor on her father was worrisome, Nicky was still trying to keep a semblance of this shattered puzzle together, and Layne wouldn't be surprised if Matty smoked his lung out until he couldn't no more.

"Thanks for coming," Layne said offering a weak smile as she stood up from the table and began to collect the plates to take back into the kitchen. The trio did not feel as strong as it once had and maybe that was her own undoing. Nonetheless, a nice that started with hope, now felt incredibly hopeless and she was done. "You can help yourself to whatever else is in the kitchen, I'm gonna call it a night," she said to her dad placing a hand against his shoulder before following Nicky into the kitchen to say goodnight. With no words for Matthew, as he entered she walked right passed him towards her bedroom, closing the door behind her, wishing this night never happened to begin with.

Roman BaudelaireToday at 02:39

Initially, when Roman agreed to the dinner he thought all three children agreed to it or he would have never came in the first place. The man thought it was a good place to start mending things, but just in the small amount of time of being there it only reaffirmed Roman's fear that things would always be broken and that guilt solely rested on his shoulders. Matthew could not stand being in the same room as him, Layne tried her best to play peacemaker and Nicholas tried to take care of him and was being torn between Matthew and and his father. A part of him wondered if his children were better off without him. They had to be right? All he has done since returning was fail them.

As his daughter squeezed his shoulder, his eyes started down at the floor. "I'm sorry, Boo" he murmured knowing sorry simply was not good enough, but there was no amount of apologies that could even cover a fraction of what he has done to children. As Layne headed to her room, Roman looked at Nicholas and Matthew. He had no idea what to even say, he felt defeated. "Take care of each other. I uh," he turned his head as he took in a breath, trying his best to keep his emotions in tact. "I'm gonna go."

Roman swallowed thickly as he started heading towards the door without the food Nicholas packed for him, his joints aching. Outside, he slowly inhaled the night air as he made his way to his truck. As he slid into the front seat, he slammed his head back into the padding as he squeezed onto the truck wheel until his knuckles were white. "Fuck" he mumbled. Angry with himself for allowing himself a glimmer of hope. Roman closed his eyes and reached for his flask that he had in the glove department and opened it as he took a long swing as he remained parked outside.

Nicholas BaudelaireToday at 03:08

Nick was making somewhat of a mess in the kitchen. While he was the connoisseur of stealing food and packing it away, once he had put to one side some food for Roman and had tried to start tidying, he'd managed to chip one plate and somehow dropped several items of food onto the floor - the subsequent cleaning of which resulted in further smearing.

Listening to the heartbeats in the other room meant he was aware of Matthew's returning prescience even before he came through the front door. He turned to greet his brother with a nod of what he hoped looked like solidarity. He had given Layne's hand a squeeze before she left the kitchen and watched her disappear up the stairs, walking past Matthew without so much as a word.

"Okay dad" Nick offered Roman a smile and was about to grab the packed food for him, but his dad was already turning on his heal and leaving. Still holding a couple of tupperware containing the food, Nick wondered over to the window and looked out, watching the retreating figure of his dead walking away and getting into his car. He didn't need to tap into his wolf senses to hear what Roman was doing, he could see the man sitting in his car looking deeply unhappy before reaching for the flask. At that point Nick turned to look at matthew with a miserable expression.

Matthew BaudelaireToday at 07:00

Well, that was horrible and after the only two left were Matthew and Nicky, Layne having retreated to her room and Roman left without even taking what remained of the meal, Matthew's guilt only grew ten fold and he regretted coming back into house and regretting showing up at all. He should have left the moment he recognized Roman's truck in the drive, maybe then at least Layne and Nicky could have had a decent evening without him in it. The eldest sibling caught the look on Nicky's expression when he finally turned toward him with a black pit fully formed in his gut. He couldn't hold his brother's eyes for long before he diverted his gaze away as he heaved out a heavy breath, "I'm sorry, Nicky."

Nicholas BaudelaireToday at 20:56

The problem with family is that no matter how much pain they cause you, even when they're driving the knife into your heart, you feel guilty that they have to bare whiteness to the turning of the blade, and the pain in your eyes as they do it.

It was why he rarely showed Roman his disapproval. It was why when he wanted Matt to play happy families Matt wouldn't, Nick felt guilty for showing his disappointment. Hell, it was why he had smiled when Layne had initially told him she was moving away, despite the fact that it felt like another family member was choosing to leave him.

When Matty turned to his brother and averted his gaze from Nick's deflated expression, Nick felt that familiar wrench of guilt. It wouldn't take much for the members of his family to feel some sort of guilt, and think removing themselves from the situation was the "right" thing to do, and the day Matty or Layne, or Roman made that "selfless" decision loomed over the wolf like a perpetual dark cloud.

Nick sighed and waved away his brother's apology. It wasn't Matthew's fault that he had been unable to put on a brave face and pretend. It wasn't Roman's fault that he had been all but chased from the table. It wasn't Layne's fault that her efforts at peace keeper had been futile. So much of this seemed out of their hands, and yet Nick was acutely aware that all of them were never far from taking said matters into their own hands for what they perceived to be the greater good.

"Don't be" Nick said with a shrug, moving away from the window, dumping the Tupperware of food on the table. "Let's go smoke".

There wasn't much that Nick could do to heal the wounded hearts of their family, but offering them reprieve while in his company, that Nick could and would always do. And selfishly so. Why make it easy for any of them to leave when he was so chill to hang out with, right?

@laynebaudelaire @werewolfroman @nicholasbaudelaire @matthewbaudelaire

#dysfunctional family tw #mature content tw #mature language tw #alcoholism tw #addiction tw #drug use tw #dead parent tw #absent father tw

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bufferplier72 · 2 years

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Choosing the proper Tree Surgeon

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#Tree Surgeon

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bulbrun1 · 2 years

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Choosing the right Tree Surgeon

With a whole lot competition out presently there selecting the best tree cosmetic surgeon for you personally can get a daunting activity. Tree Surgeon is not really a protected phrase which unfortunately implies that just about anybody using a saw can easily claim to end up being a professional arborist. So when a lot of local tree attention businesses are preventing for your attention what research should you do and what perform you ask whenever you call for a quote? This guide aspires to tell an individual that but first of all it is going to explain the prospective difficulty with attempting shrub surgery yourself. Exactly why Not Just Do it Myself personally? Taking the DIY approach, while not necessarily the easiest solution, might seem such as the best. It's certainly typically the cheapest option so "why not just undertake it myself? very well is obviously a very valid question. Generally there are Additional resources why employing a professional tree surgeon is the particular better solution. First of all there is safety. Tree felling can be a dangerous task. With out the proper tools, training and experience the risk of damage to both people and property is definitely significantly higher. The best tree physicians are trained plus assessed and abide by strict British criteria of quality and even safety. Any arborist of great status will be happy to show their requirements for the job. Not only that will, a skilled expert is equipped along with state of the particular art safety products designed to safeguard themselves, your house and other bystanders. Likewise, in the event that the worst actuall occurs, the ideal arborists will show that they are totally insured to cover up any damages to property in the forest care process. The particular second reason the reason why it's better in order to hire an expert tree surgeon is productivity. Using the best possible industrial equipment in addition to having the correct training and knowledge allows a specialized arborist to compete the necessary operate a fraction involving the time this would take the regular person. They will can quickly total a job and even clear any ensuing debris greatly decreasing unnecessary disruption to you or your company. In order can end up being seen, for some sort of safe and useful job, professionals keep each of the advantages. Questions to Question Thus you've chosen to hire an expert. If you're still being bombarded with adverts and businesses claiming to be the best so where to get started on? Below is some of the questions a person should ask any time you call with regard to a quote. Is usually the tree cosmetic surgeon insured? The almost all professional tree cosmetic surgeons is going to be happy in order to show you their insurance credentials. These are essential where their own potential risk to surrounding property. When they can't show suitable insurance chances will be they aren't since professional as these people seem. Do you really job to British criteria? If yes, ask which one. All professional tree surgical treatment ought to be carried out there to BS3998 specifications Do they need adequate training, expertise and qualifications? Exactly how many years need they been woods surgeons for? Don't be afraid to question for academic certification or proof of assessment. Do they offer other services? You can find companies out presently there that will offer some other services unrelated to tree care. Although these firms might end up being perfectly great at healing fences and lounging driveways tree surgery is a highly skilled trade. Make sure you pick a specialist. Perform they have an everlasting address/business phone quantity? Far better to avoid businesses who cannot offer you a long lasting address or provide a mobile number as being the only means regarding contact. In conclusion, choosing the correct tree surgeon intended for you can be quite an overwhelming process. There can easily often be dozens of options even if you're just looking locally. Knowing the correct questions to be able to ask can always be a big help when selecting the best tree physician to suit your current needs. When taking into consideration taking job in yourself, seriously think of the potential risks in addition to whether it's really worth the potential destruction to property plus threat to people safety.

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tempospike82 · 2 years

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lineerror65 · 2 years

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riseheron30 · 2 years

Text

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