#also while I'm being mad I'll say this to him in the void | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

irondad-defensesquad · 6 months

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edit (december 6th 2023): this has been getting a lot of notes - thank you for the love btw! - so i just wanted you to know that this idea has a full story! it's right here. thanks again!

tony is checking his notes while he works, when he hears the door opening.

"oh peter, is that you?" he says, a little relieved but also annoyed. "care to explain why you haven't replied to any of my messages-?"

when he looks behind him, though, there's nobody in the lab.

... the meow startles him.

tony finds the black cat sitting on his notebook, and doesn't appear to plan on getting off.

"seriously?" tony groans. "friday, why is the little black hole in here?"

"he is boss jr., isn't that correct?" the A.I. replies rather smugly.

the man glares at the ceiling. "very funny." then he turns to the cat. "why are you like this. i thought cats liked to be alone. but i guess you just love bugging me."

the cat doesn't reply. he dares to lie down, refusing to let tony work. before they settle on yet another glaring contest today, the older man's phone vibrates on the desk, much to the cat's curiosity. tony quickly takes it and sees he has new text messages from peter.

peter: sorry mr stark, i can't come over today

peter: i have a decathlon meeting and i can't miss it

tony audibly groans. yeah, of course. obviously.

then peter sends another one.

peter: how is tony jr? is he behaving?

tony aggressively texts back.

tony: that is not his name. and no, he's being a little menace, alright. he ruined my couch, he knocked my favorite mug over, and now he won't let me work.

peter: aww mr stark, he just wants attention!

tony: yeah, but he doesn't have to be such a little shit.

peter: stop being mean to him!!!

tony: he's being mean to me.

tony: so what, i'm gonna be stuck with him for another night?

the teen spends a while writing the next text, which becomes many of them, probably indicating he's anxious.

peter: look mr stark i'm sorry i forced you to look after him

peter: i just couldn't leave him in the cold and aunt may already has a lot in her plate

peter: but i didn't mean to make you mad either

peter: i promise i'll try to come over as soon as i can to take him to the shelter

tony's anger fades. he sighs it out.

tony: kid, it's fine. i get it. you have a good heart and i'm proud of you for that. i just wasn't ready to have a stray cat home.

tony: but this isn't your fault, okay? you did the right thing.

he almost texts more but decides not to.

peter: ok mr stark

peter: i'll try to get him to the shelter by the end of the week

tony: no pressure, kiddo.

when he thinks it's over, peter sends yet another one.

peter: hey mr stark? could you take a pic of him? i miss his little face 🥺

tony rolls his eyes and positions the starkphone in front of the cat. the little feline seems to notice it and looks back. and he tilts his head almost instantly. though tony knows it's not out of confusion - it's like he's posing for the photo.

the hero sends it to peter.

who in turn, replies with several stickers of people exploding with heart emojis.

peter: omg!!!! bby!!!! i would die for him!!!!

tony: please don't.

peter: aww he even posed!

peter: guess he rlly takes after you 😊

tony: he is still not my cat.

peter: still... just be good to him until i get back ok? he just wants some company

you don't get it, pete. i'm irresponsible and i ruin everything i touch.

tony doesn't send that.

instead, tony looks at the cat deep into his golden eyes.

his hand approaches the little void. he expects to get bitten or scratched like he has been all day. but worse...

i ruin everything i touch, and i'm going to kill another innocent creature. i'm going to kill him. i'm going to kill him.

...

the cat is snuggling against his hand, purring.

then he lets tony pet his whole body and his tail touches his fingers.

indeed... all the cat ever wanted was love and attention. the things he never had in the past.

with a relieved smile on his face, tony finally answers peter.

tony: okay.

just a simple reply. but many promises.

#irondad #tony jr. the cat #(a new tag???????? mayhaps????)#fics #my fics #drabble #(this got long lmao and it's not even the finished product)#anyway #tony stark in: the dad who didn't want the pet but adopted it anyway the saga

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ol1verdrawsyt · 1 year

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What r things you like about the dsaf community, and things you don’t like about it? Just curious to hear some thoughts! :D

Oh boy, I have a lot to say abt this one. I'm just gonna preface this by saying, I have a very special place in my heart for dsaf. Idk where I would be today if I hasn't have found that trilogy. With that being said, I'll start with the good.

Tw: opinions 😱😱

For starters, its a very welcoming community. Because a good majority of the community is queer, it makes it a safe space. In my experience, it was the first time I felt open and comfortable being myself inside of a Fandom.

It's also a very talented community. Like holy hell, have you seen those amazing Henry fanarts with him in the void? They're fucking epic!

Finally, the DSaF community is pretty sweet to new artists. I remember when I was in the piggy Fandom, they were brutal man. I got bullied constantly for my art and was pretty close to quitting for a while. In DSaF though, I just simply received constructive criticism and people helping me rather than shaming me.

Now onto the not so great

First, the ships that shouldn't really be normalized. Steven x Peter is probably a big one. Peter had a wife, Steven was a horrible boss and sent Peter to the factory knowing what would happen to him, and that he had a family (we know from Peter and Jimbo that you can refuse to do that. In the slightly evil ending, Peter refuses to send Jimbo to the factory) and also they canonically hate eachother. Also the horrible power imbalance? Like, idc what your excuse is, shipping boss x employee is just wrong.

And yet, this is like the 2nd most popular ship in the Fandom. I'm not done with it either cuz the people who ship Steven and Peter lead into my next point.

Being toxic towards straight ships. I'm gonna preface this before anybody gets mad by saying, I am a trans and queer man, I can have an opinion on this.

So Peterline is not a very popular ship despite it being cannon. Caroline is Peter's wife, and you see her at the end of the perfect ending. I've been bullied before (mainly on tiktok) for shipping this. I've had someone just go off on me because I'm "taking away gay rep and that Peter is canonically a gay man." Like, tf?? Also, side note: he isn't. Dogman confirmed the characters sexualities and Peter is "probably straight." Not to mention he had a wife that he chose and married himself, not a manufactured one like with Steven. But back to my point. Peterline is overshadowed by all of the Steven x Peter shippers because it's EVERYWHERE. I don't even know why it's a ship in all honesty. But heaven forbid you don't ship it and ship Peter and his WIFE.

You thought that was the worst of it? Wrong. We go away from the side that's mainly queer/allies and go to the homophobic side. Yep. There are homophobic/transphobic DSaF fans despite a good majority of the main cast being queer. Luckily, they don't really show their faces anywhere near the queer fans, so we're all set. I have seen them comment on davesport posts before though complaining. Speaking of davesport:

Davesport has completely taken over the Fandom. I love davesport as much as the next person, but if you truly love something, you have to admit the flaws. First, the weird kinda fetishism of it? I won't name names **cough cough daystars cough cough**, but there are artists who draw this ship and intentionally make the characters look like teenage boys and not old zombie men. Plus, people kinda romanticizing / glorifying the fact that Dave stalked and had an unhealthy obsession with Jack. That isn't cute and romantic that "he loves him so much that he broke into Jack's house on multiple occasions and watched him sleep 🥺🥺🩷🩷☺️☺️☺️" (genuine comment I saw btw, minus the emojis cuz I wanna make sure people know it's satire what I'm saying). Plus, people are bullied for shipping anything other than Davesport. I can understand if it's a proship (I'll get into those fuckewads later), but someone shipping anything other than davesport will get you witchhunted in this community. I know I said I don't like boss x employee, but I don't hate someone if they ship something like Harry x Jack or something. There are people genuinely scared of showing that they ship that because of the hard-core davesport fans. Final note on this point, it's the only DSaF content being made. I want more Blackjack and og managers art pls I beg of you I want more art of the og managers. But instead, it's just davesport again. It gets to a point where I'm kinda tired of it.

Next point: people babying characters. Now, I won't name names **cough cough daystars again cough cough** but there are very popular artists who get away with this. The biggest ones I can think of are Peter, Roger, and Jack. Here's why I think this happens:

Jack: Because he's shown to have a soft side. It's mainly seen in DSaF 3 on the flipside with him gently talking to the other souls and telling them that it's gonna be ok and he'll help them find justice and peace. Also, he is somewhat civil to Dave at the start of a few routes so probably from the fucking davesport shippers again.

Roger: Because he's hinted at to have an anxiety disorder. Hey there! Person with a diagnosed anxiety disorder here. DON'T FUCKING BABY US! Like, just because you have an AD doesn't mean you need 24/7 protection and babying because "what if you get scared 🥺🥺🥺😔😔😔". People with ADs can do amazing things despite it. And Roger is no exception. In the evil ending, he goes off at Jack about everything he's done and doesn't break a sweat. He's probably the strongest out of the 3 phone guys because he's the first person (other than Peter) to stand up to Jack when he's doing something wrong.

Peter: Same as Jack, he's shown to have a soft side. Mainly when talking about how he remembers his wife and family, and invites Jack to live with him and Caroline despite (to his knowledge) he's only known Jack about a week. But like with Roger, he puts his foot down when needed. In the evil routes, Peter takes Jack back to his office and just let's him have it. He goes off about the fucked up shit Jack has done and even throws in some amazing lines like

"That's Mr.Cawthon to you, employee. We certainly aren't friends."

"Employee, let me tell you something. I am a VERY good boss."

"It takes the truth to fool me, or close to it. And you've played me for a goddamned fool."

But of course, with this community, that entire badass scene with Peter and Jack is overshadowed by him being "uwu smol bottom gay boy"

I mentioned them earlier, so here it goes: the proshippers. They're everywhere. Some of the biggest dsaf artists **cough cough fucking daystars again cough cough** are proshippers. It's mainly a problem on tiktok. I've seen people ship: Peter x Dave, Dave x Henry, Steven x Henry, Jack x Peter, Henry x Dee, Henry x Jack, Dee x Jack, Jack x Dee x Peter x Dave. It's honestly disgusting, and I really don't wanna talk abt it anymore.

Next, people drawing Henry skinny. This one pisses me off a lot. People draw Henry as a skinny little bottom boy and not the fat old man he is. There's a lot of people guilty of this. **cough you probably know who I'm abt to say cough cough**. Some people try at least. For example, I tried sticking with my roblox-like bodies and giving Henry a very big torso. Later on, I finally learned how to draw plus sized bodies, and so now that I can, I immediately implemented it. Some people just don't even try.

Finally, people mad at dogman for moving on from the series. I shit you not. I came across people complaining about this just last night. Here's the thing: DSaF has a lot of problematic stuff in it. Nobody can deny that. Dogman has apologized for it on many occasions and doesn't want that to represent his work now. He moved on to Dialtown, where he can now get paid for his hard work and pay his team. But because he isn't talking abt DSaF anymore, people refuse to even look at Dialtown. It's just kinda...childish in my opinion? It'd be a different story if you just simply didn't enjoy Dialtown. Like that's fine and understandable, the game isn't for everyone. But really? Just because the creator moved on from his problematic past and made something original, you want nothing to do with him. That's just stupid.

Alr ty for coming to my Ted talk. If someone wants it I'll do one of these with Dialtown (there isn't much bad, it'll just be me ranting abt how much I love Dialtown)

Btw don't harass anyone I mentioned here if I did mention them. It doesn't solve anything, and you just look like and asshole.

#dsaf #dayshift at freddys

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brick-a-doodle-do · 1 year

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Hmmmm

Extra to answer your questions in the outline!!!

A gardener Vara fits these two period but yes, a t!Irza would work very well with it! And Vara swearing...nope! Not even when he's alone! Only if you've really done something wrong to trigger him and at that point Irza is usually in the way of the fight happening bc his silent glare is usually enough to make anyone back off...the first person he swore at was Voidshire when they get kidnapped by Ezephr (an arc you'll love), and then at Ezephr wayyyy later in the story where he's basically mad and yelling something about Ezephr being irredeemable, but with cooler and stronger words.

Vara humming deeeeeefinitely pisses Irza off, but only for the first while. After that, he only gets mad about it when he's tired! And like I mentioned in that short story, a lot of his frustrations with whatever Vara does comes from him being in pain or too tired to deal with it!

I showed you that waiting outside the door thing in the story...😈. The food NEVER burns, and Irza has yet to figure out how the cat manages to wait for him and yet absolutely never ruins the food by doing so. It's one of his life's greatest mysteries...

They both have POWERFUL protective instincts, but Vara is more cuddly while Irzayn is like: "Touch him and I'll rip your hand off and shove it down your throat". For...just for an example. Vara...definitely hasn't had to stop him from doing that before.

Yep! Irzayn is only in love with Quickvine! But it sometimes peeks through with Vara since they're the same person and he'll feel a tug in his chest...like at the end of the story I gave you. I'm mentioning that a lot lol, but it's a great reference.

This dragon boy is definitely secretly nice but also not. Irzayn is always controlling his strength, especially when mad. If he didn't he'd be breaking the floor, crushing the TV remote, and tearing doors off their hinges all the time...and yeah he just goes grrrr when he wants em to back off.

T!Irza with g!Vara is only safe because Irza is ridiculously durable. Vara is sweet, bless his heart, but he has very limited self control sometimes...like with that cookie moment.

Yes. Yes Vara has beans. He's half beastling (easiest explanation is cat beastling=cat furry) and half sprite. So he'd normally look more cat like but this world doesn't like half breeds so he uses the sprite's illusion magic to make his hands and feet human. It's strong enough that they feel human too...it's his strongest power and a trump card he can use in a fight. It's him being half beastling that gives him such powerful instincts.

G!Irza is so spectacular. He's like your worst nightmare when he does know you but if you can win him over you suddenly become untouchable. He would pretty much always just leave a spotted borrower alone unless it starts to annoy him. I can see a borrower getting bolder and bolder thinking that the dragon isn't noticing them no matter what they do, only for Irzayn to one day growl at them when they try to take his strawberries without asking.

I haven't touched much on Void in it and I meant Irzayn controlling the shadows to hold down the tiny, but honestly...I love g!Void too. He'd be so kind and friendly and being picked up by him would feel extremely weird...only problem is you can't hear what he's saying.

As for how silent Irzayn is, like it was mentioned by Vara in the short story, you really don't hear anything. The scales was only because Irza is living with Vara and doesn't want to be caught bc he's under the impression all cat beastmen can hear his shadows. When he's alone he truly makes no sound. Silent as a shadow...

Noms discussion warning:

The throat pockets were an idea I came up with randomly but they stuck and I love them toooooo. It would be very confusing to be swallowed, expecting a stomach, only to end up in a weird pocket only a second or two later. Irza is more likely to use those pockets if he noms someone than to truly send them down unless the pockets were full/he was distracted/or he was too tired to care. If he's planning on sleeping, being stuck in a small space like that all night would be unpleasant.

Both of them would definitely nom the tiny to protect from a fight. Vara if he had no choice and Irza...just to be a jerk, honestly. He'd also have hesitations but not near as many and not for the same reasons.

Avoidance reasons—Vara:

Doesn't want to scare the tiny, thinks it's strange he wants to do that, is frightened he'd hurt them, doesn't have permission or time to explain, Irza would tear him apart and he knows it

Avoidance reasons—Irza:

Doesn't want someone shouting/begging from inside him, knows they'll misunderstand and not believe him bc he's a villain, is tempted to let the tiny be in the open and in danger a little bit longer to mess with them, doesn't want Vara to cry

ALSO

Levels of which one is more or less likely to actually happen in terms of noms! Starting from least likely to most likely!

-g!Vara and t!Voidshire (not super likely noms will happen)

-g!Quickvine and t!Voidshire

-g!Vara and t!Irza

-g!Quickvine and t!Irza

-g!Irza and t!Quickvine

-g!Voidshire and t!Vara

- g!Irza and t!Vara

-g!Voidshire and t!Quickvine (extremely likely)

—

I'm still looking forward to you writing them but I will also certainly write some of my own too!

Any questions you might need for writing them or that I have now spawned in your brain?

me, answering a splurge not 24 hours after it was asked? is this heaven?

wowww bbh dupe AJFJ

mm yes vara has scary dog privileges >:D

OOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS ARC HAS ME INTRIGUED!!! :00000

noted! i totally get that, humming can get annoying so quickly ewfsjfvsjd

WOW that's some talent. at least vara has one talent! LMAO

INSTINCTS BELOVED,,,, i mean they do both have instinct driven animals,,,,, i guess pretty much every animal is instinct driven but STILL a cat and a dragon? best duo and a sea of instincts :D

okay yeah that's what i thought! sehgfjs nahh mention it all you want, it was a lovely story :] <3

DFJFDJS anger issues much?

that cookie moment was GOD TIER dfjfdsk i love vara so much

BEANNNSSSS AHHHHH !!!!!!!! LETS GOOOOO :D oooh i see! i'm learning all abt sprites n shit rn cause of pdam so yee that's cool !!

oh of course he is, he slides into giant and/or human SO easily,,, mwah love him for that, it's not that hard to leave a borrower alone!!

DJFJ yeah that would be a side-effect from his initial lack of care,,,

ohh right,,, and ooo yeah being held by g!void would be so cool- would be like sitting in a void that's really cool aaa

yes i loved u mentioning that in the story cause like vara doesn't know why >:3

vore talk below cut beyond this point (can't add cut cause the ask is too long </3)

the throat pockets are AWESOME like that's something i have NEVER seen before,,,

are they liiike caverns? could you do like a drawing so i can get a visual for it? /nf

i'm picturing just like a tiny lil room just embedded in his throat dsjsjd i'm probably WAY off tho

ALSO how does it open? is irza the only one to be able to open it or can a tiny theoretically fall?

AWWHEJ vara is so /pos when he wants to be :D

totally fair, if humming annoys him quickly then that would definitely piss him off even more,,, and HEY you can't sneak that vaza bit in!!!! does he not want him to cry bc it's annoying or just bc he goes panic mode when he does?

ooo a list! hmmm g!quickvine & t!irza is only third least likely to happen....it's not last...(that's my personal favorite judsjf)

i tackled all of my questions as i went along so nop! and i'm looking forward to writing them too, it'll be a fun experience (and :00 i want all of the g/t fics you write with them when they eventually come >:3c)

#brickquiries #3d brickling #3d my beloved 🤗#brick talks vaza #cw vore talk

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my-cat-is-my-only-friend · 3 months

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Dear Tumblr Void,

Hello again. You can guess why I'm back. It happened again, and once again I'm using tumblr as a live journal, because maybe just one person will read this and I'll feel validated.

I'm gonna start with this:

Why this is different than Sam.

~I'm getting into therapy right away

~I'm trying to lean on family and friends for support more than ever

~I'm not the victim this time. If I'm a victim, then so is Josiah. He went through just as much as I did, so if I'm a victim then so is he. I'm not innocent.

~I'm changing my life completely, even if temporarily. I'm moving in with Laura and Joe for an unknown amount of time. I don't know if I'll come back to Eau Claire in the fall for school, I don't know if I'll end up having to live in the apartment that was supposed to be ours. I don't know what the future holds and I'm trying to be ok with that.

~I'm being honest with the people in my life about what happened. I am not playing the role of the innocent victim. Just because I'm guilty doesn't make his actions right or ok, but the opposite is also true. Just because he's guilty doesn't make my actions ok.

~I realized this time there are very deep rooted issues. I have abandonment issues, not from past relationships but from my childhood. I have attachment issues from my childhood. Not from past relationships, and it's something I need to work on and heal from.

~ I'm not going to get into a rebound situation. History says the rebound does more damage than good, and I know that what I need is to figure out how to be a person again, on my own.

Here's what's hard this time:

~ I want to still talk to him. He cut me off completely, which is good for both of us. But I still crave him, like a bad street drug.

~His sister is still talking to me. She's very helpful, but I also know that she gets to see him and talk to him and it makes me jealous and sad because I know in my heart that I will never see him again, or hear his voice again.

~ I don't want to lose my opportunity in Eau Claire at school, but I also can't know for sure right now if coming back will be too much, I can't know if coming back will make me miss him again. Would I be coming back just in hopes of running into him again?

~ I want to know if he's back on tinder. That's what I did with Sam, when we broke up I downloaded tinder just to see if he was back on and active. I want to do that with Josiah, but I know that if I do, and he is active, it will shatter me and I will spiral even more.

~ I cant eat. I have such a loss of appetite that eating takes more mental energy than I have right now. It's been two days and I've already lost a pound and a half.

~ I can't sleep. He was in my bed every night. I cant lay down without thinking about how he would hold me. So I bought melatonin and NyQuil so that I pass out. If I'm unconscious, I can't miss him as much.

~ I have to learn how to navigate my own emotions while also recognizing that I'm not the only victim. I was trauma bonded, and I know that it's on me just as much as it's on him. I can't quite find the balance between not hating but also not glorifying him.

~ I constantly think about how he might have ended the relationship and gone no contact to protect me, and the not knowing hurts. Did he really do it out of love and care? Did he do it only because he was mad? Was it purely selfish? I might never know and I'm having a hard time accepting that.

~ The future I had planned is gone, and I'm mourning that just as much as I'm mourning the loss of him. I was attached to him AND the future I thought I had with him.

That's all for now tumblr, any more and I'll start crying again. Thanks for giving me false hope of validation once more <3

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doctor-candy-bonez · 6 months

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I know this is going to get no traction because it's not one of my art posts but im just venting my frustrations into the void and pretending like someone is listening

So i got this friend group and these people are like my absolute besties I'll list off codenames I came up with as I'm writing this. So we got Imp, a tall horribly awkward dingus who means well but has a lot of misunderstandings, Cat, this man is an aspiring internet funnyman and music creator who is almost always joking around and having a good time even if he seems a bit abrasive with his memery, Elf, elf is the one I know the least but we're cool even though I jabent gotten enough time to get a read on her personality, Vamp, bro is an absolute hyperactive goofball him and Cat are a duo and together they can get a laugh out of just about anybody, Chef, my persinal bestie and the final part of the friend group and she is the sweetest person you could ever meet despite being the main one involved in this massive heap of drama I'm about to talk about (also small note that might play into what happens here. I try to pick up everyone in the friend group when I hug them and Chef is the easiest to hold cause she's very short).

So recently I had went to a party at Imp's house along with everyone else aside from Elf who couldn't make it. The party was a blast though unfortunately I learned I couldn't pick up Chef at all because her parents saw it as "inappropriate" because apparently picking a person up as a joke when the person being picked up is completely in on the joke is wrong somehow, and Chef herself had to go talk to them and even that didn't convince the people so yeah the main funny thing I do with everyone in the friend group is considered "inappropriate". So more party stuff happens it goes great then it's over and I'm the last person to leave because my own parents were watching hamlet and I also just like talking with Imp alone since we have the most interesting conversations about our nerd interests, I eventually leave because I needed to be home today to set up for a party and after I get home the group talks a bit in our group chat about the fnaf movie (we were planing to watch it on November 1st) and everyone is available to go and all of our plans are set and we're going to have a great time in the next few weeks. I go to sleep for the night and then wake up to go to church I check the group chat and see Cat making last checks to see everyone is good and yes we are all set for November to watch funny animatronic movie, a few hours pass i check my phone and see that Chef, and Elf are no longer in the group chat leading me to find out that apparently chefs sister, that's right her sister who has nothing to do with our group in the slightest told Imps mom that Imp was making her "feel unsafe". Yup you heard that correctly the person who HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR FRIEND GROUP felt unsafe around the AOCIALLY AKWARD NERD WHO ONLY TRIES TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE and apparently that means Imp and Chef can't be friends anymore and can't be in our group chat and since Chef and Elf are more of a packaged deal she also can't be in so yeah that bullcrsp happened, and I think "oh ok I can still text Chef because I have her number" so I try to talk to her only to learn that "her parents are made at her" for some reason so she cant talk me for a while and now I'm just very mad at these people for not letting an essential part of our group just can't hang out anymore and also according to Chefs brood of vipers for a sister we were saying "inappropriate things" despite our group being as PG as possible due to small children being present so I have no idea what the frup that's about either.

Well that's about it sorry for making you sit through my angy spat of words I'm just incredibly ticked that these people instead of minding their buisness just start making decisions for one of my best friends (who also happens to be older than anyone else in the group) and the person they don't like is one of the nicest people I've ever met who's just trying his best

#vent post #rant #brood of vipers #these people are scared of my kind and caring friend somehow #i feel so bad for him #he's trying his best #but these meanies dont like him

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hexagonaldecency · 1 year

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I need to get this out somewhere so I'll scream into the void here.

I didn't like The W.hale :(

The performances are great and deserve any awards that come their way, but the movie itself...

I felt that it was boring and kinda shallow. I could see the point it was trying to make but I felt like it barely got there?

Like, I came to this movie knowing about eating disorders and binge eating, but I can definitely see someone who doesn't know or understand them just thinking he likes eating a lot, or made the choice to be obese. And I think that's an important thing to be aware of, you know?

I was also not sure if the movie wanted the audience to think he's disgusting or not. Many times the movie points out people are repulsed by him, and there's even the dialogue where he keeps listing his problems like bed sores and mold between the flaps, and it felt like it was supposed to really drive home that his body is disgusting, but in most parts of the movie I didn't feel that way at all.

I feel like they were trying to humanize obesity and not focus on how people find obese bodies disgusting, but to me, I felt like the characters were seeing something I wasn't seeing. There were some shocking parts, for example the opening scene with the masturbation, but not enough for me to feel like "yep, the character is right, I am disgusted by him".

So, if they wanted to have him not be visually disgusting, I don't think they did a good job of showing that in other ways. There is only one mention of the apartment smelling bad in his daughters poem, and I didn't notice the other characters pysically reacting to the smell of his apartment.

Ok, so the daughter. I thought she had potential to be a super interesting character, and I kept trying to think of reasons she is "evil" like that. She obviously feels rejected and abandoned by his dad, her mother seems abusive... Is she trying to "prove" her assumptions that her dad will hate her? Is she trying to drive people away so they won't hurt her? But then it wasn't really explored. The people I watched the movie with complained about her the most, saying how they hated her as the first complaint about the film. That makes me feel like it didn't do a great job of showing a hurt kid lashing out, and felt like she was just an evil brat.

Also, personal bias here, because I have trauma about my parents trying to hurt each other through me, witholding money to me so the other wouldn't have access to it and not wanting me to visit the other, so it felt extremely uncomfortable to watch that. Might have contributed to me not liking the movie.

I didn't get the preacher guy's role in the story. Was it to show Brendan's character that his daughter can "save" others? That she was there for a reason? To introduce the theme of salvation? Doesn't feel right to me.

And I'm not too sure what to think about the nurse. I think she's the best character, but some points could have been better. I love that she expresses her frustrations, she gets mad at him, but still loves him. But there was the point that she is constantly giving him unhealthy food, and I saw a person online even calling her an enabler, and the only time this is acknowledged in the film is one moment where she goes "what am I even doing". Felt like it was something that could have been super interesting to explore, like is she feeding him because her brother wouldn't eat in his final days? Is she feeding him because she wants him to be happy? What does giving him unhealthy food while being a nurse means? Where does that dissonance come from?

About the honesty thing. I feel like I missed a theme for like two thirds of the movie. He is suddenly obsessed with honesty? Was the Moby Dick essay supposed to be about honesty all this time? Did he want people to be honest about him being disgusting (which I didn't find to be)?

The title feels insensitive, even if it's not a reference to him, but to Moby Dick. First of all, before watching that you can't know that. So it already starts weird. Maybe it was their intention, to play with our interpretation of it. But even then, if we make the connection with the essay, where she says "the whale is to distract from how sad his life is", makes me confused as to what the whale is supposed to be, you know? Is this about how sad his life is? And the food the distraction?

And lastly, the ending felt silly. To have a very realistic movie for almost two hours, and then suddenly having him basically be raptured looked almost comedic. I get what they were going for, but I didn't like it at all. I think I would have liked it more without the effects of him flying and seeing the light.

I feel like I'm complaining that the movie didn't spoon feed me these answers but I don't feel this way with many other movies. So I think I just didn't vibe with this one.

#eating disoder trigger warning #eating disorder tw #I'm not tagging the movie becuase I dont think people searching for it want to read this #but I'm tagging the tw so people can block it #anyway I like the guys faith in humanity. that was a cool part.

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anisstories · 3 years

Text

I Don't Want This

Chapter 6

The Next Morning

When Y/N awoke in the morning, she panicked, she didn’t know this room, and then she turned around. There was Anakin asleep, the sun shining on his face. His hair seemed to become even more golden. Y/N still felt tipsy. She looked at the foot of the bed and there were her clothes. It was 5 in the morning and no sound was heard. I doubt anyone’s awake, I’ll change, leave a note, and get a cab to the company. Shit, how strong is a Flameout? I'm falling back into a drunken state. Before that could happen she stood up, put her clothes on, went to Anakin’s desk grabbed a post-it, and started to right:

Hey Anakin,

I didn’t want to wake you up. Thanks for letting me crash here last night. Sorry for being such a bother. I promise I will never drink when you're around.

Next time I see you we'll be "happily married".

Warm Regards,

Y/N

Heiress to the Aridam Empire XD.

Anakin awoke to the sound of shuffling in his room. He turned around and saw Y/N writing something on a sticky note. The events of last night came to his mind. WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE? I should have kicked her out yesterday. She'll pay at this moment. Anakin got out of bed and stalked over to her. Y/N turned around only to be met with Anakin's bare chest. His pectorals glistened in the sunlight. "Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I was just about to leave. Sorry for-" "Last night I brought you into my home and you know who saw? Padmé. You already ruined my relationship. So you're going to stay here and we're going to be caught sleeping together. I don't care if your dignity is at stake." Anakin said as he pushed Y/N onto the bed. "Strip" Anakin said his voice and face were void of emotion. "w-what do you m-mean strip?" "Strip. Don't make me repeat myself." She felt a weight next to her. "I don't want to touch your disgusting body. So strip and go back to sleep. If you don’t I’m going to have to strip you myself, and you won’t like that." Y/N felt so embarrassed but she started stripping, fearing what Anakin would do if she disobeyed. She hesitated when she reached her panties. "Keep your underwear on." He opened the comforter for her. She stepped in, her back facing his chest, and felt Anakin's arms wrap around her bare waist. She felt so vulnerable in only her bra and panties. She knew that if someone walked in she would face the biggest embarrassment of her life. She started to squirm, to get away. But his grip tightened. "I said go to sleep," he growled. Anakin wasn't human anymore. He had gone feral. The love of his life was probably lost and all because of this stupid girl that laid next to him.

There was no going through to him. He roughly turned Y/N around. "Stop squirming. You said you'd follow my lead, so do it." He pulled her closer. Y/N started hitting his chest, muttering I hate you. Anakin grabbed her wrists. "Stop" his voice an octave lower. Y/N stopped. I hate you too, Y/N. Once we get married, I'll make your life a living hell. Anakin started to rub her back. Trying to get her to sleep. He wanted this to seem natural. He finally heard light snoring from Y/N. He went to grab his phone but feared the messages he would find there. He placed it back and started playing with Y/N's hair to help him fall asleep.

At 7 there was a knock at his door. Y/N jolted but Anakin held her tighter. He pulled the comforter low enough to reveal his bare chest and Y/N's bra. Then he heard Owen's voice "If I don't hear shuffling in 1 second I'm coming in." Of course it had to be this asshole. He grabbed Y/N's chin and started nuzzling into her neck. This caused Y/N to start whimpering. "You’re a piece of shit, you know that?" she said as she tried to push him away. “So I’ve heard” he mumbled. Anakin got tired of getting pushed away, so he flipped them over. He was hovering above her. Y/N’s arms got tired so he just pulled them to her side. This caused the comforter to fall off the bed. Owen walked in to see Anakin on top of Y/N. "Oh Maker. Fuck. Oh shit, I'm so sorry." Owen stuttered. "Can you stop staring at MY girl?" Anakin growled. "I wasn't staring at her. I was staring at you. Are you that insatiable?" Owen started laughing. "What do you - " and Anakin groans. Y/N accidentally brushed her leg against Anakin's groin and he felt a strong surge of pleasure coarse through his body. Shit, I was supposed to be mad. Not get turned on. "USE PROTECTION KIDS '' Owen closed the door and Anakin’s alarm clock hit it. He could hear Owen's laughter down the hall.

Y/N looked at Anakin’s sweatpants. There was a large bulge in them. When I brushed against it, his face contorted, I think it was out of pain. Y/N started brushing her knee against it. Anakin's eyes nearly popped out of his socket. "Mm..stop." Anakin was becoming less mad. Fuck this is bad... "No, this is payback for this morning." Y/N started brushing faster and harder. "Y-Y/N, h-hold o-o-oh Fuck!" Anakin spit. He fell on top of her chest. Y/N would've been mad. But when he fell onto her chest she had better access to that spot. Anakin started thrusting his hips into her knee. Y/N's name falling out of his lips. At this moment Y/N realized he hadn't groaned out of pain, he had groaned out of pleasure. So she pulled her knee away. Anakin's hips thrust into the air. Y/N heard Anakin moan out in pain. "Y-you, you’re a bitch" he growled. “Says the guy who forced me to strip.” She tried to get up only to fail, as Anakin had a death grip on her waist. "Hey let go," Y/N grumbled. Anakin refused. His breathing was labored and his forehead had a layer of sweat. "It hurts. Give me a fucking second!” he yelled. Y/N rolled her eyes, muttered I hope you die of pain and reached for her phone, or that’s what she thought at least. When she opened “her” phone she saw a bunch of messages.

Anakin I can’t believe you did that.

I fucking knew it. You’re a piece of shit.

I hope you get thrown into a ditch.

I can’t believe you got with my best friend.

I hope you both die.

We are done.

Don’t look or try to talk to me.

Y/N dropped the cellphone. It fell on Anakin’s head. “I’m already in pain and you dropped a cellphone on my head. I fucking hate you.” as he looked up he saw Y/N looking at him with guilty eyes. “I thought that was my phone and I read the messages Padme sent you. I’m sorry I fucked up your relationship,” she mumbled. “What do they say?” he asked, his tone cold and detached. Y/N started to read aloud the messages and Anakin felt his heart crack piece by piece. “Oh well, it was bound to happen,” he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. “How can you say that? I mean you have her as LOML on your contacts. You said you were gonna get us out of it and suddenly you're okay with getting married to me?” she said. “You don’t even feel a tiny bit sad. Don’t you want to scream or cry? If that was me I'd be very outraged." Y/N looked out the window. "Can you be logical? You think we were going to convince our parents. That was a false hope Y/N. They were gonna force us to get married. Padme isn't the type to share her boyfriend so its end was inevitable anyway." Anakin grumbled. I can't make her life miserable. She is suffering just as much as I am. I mean Y/N's here saying sorry for ruining my relationship. And it wasn't even her fault. I should be the one on my knees begging for forgiveness. I forced her to strip. Anakin got up and knelt before her. "Huh?! Anakin what are you doing?" She asked as she sat up. "I'm sorry. I was just so mad and so sad that I had lost Padme. I lost all human decency and forced you to strip. I'm sorry. I know that's not enough but I'm afraid that's all I have." Anakin's voice cracked. He was so ashamed of what he'd done.

Y/N felt bad. She knew he had done those things out of rage, but it doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt her. She reached for his arm and pulled him up. “It’s okay, I know you did them out of rage.” Anakin’s face lit up, he was so happy he could hug her, as he was about to, she opened her mouth. “But, can I ask you for a favor?” She asked. Anakin blankly looked at her. She panicked and spoke up “I’m sorry, never mind, I just-” “Hey, I didn’t even answer. What is your request?” Anakin grabbed onto her shoulders. “I was wondering if you could convince my father to let me finish my Master's?” She asked while looking at her lap. “I don't know if I could convince your Father” Y/N’s eyes started to get sad, “But I can convince my father to pay your college tuition and you can go secretly.” Y/N jumped up and into Anakin’s arms. He lost his balance so before he fell he pushed himself onto the bed. His cheek falling against her lips. “Oh damn, I smeared your lipstick.” “It’s fine.” Y/N started to giggle. “Thank you, Anakin,” she smiled so brightly and softly, but she was also crying, his heart fluttering. “Yea, no problem.” Anakin's voice sounded wistful, but Y/N didn’t hear it, she was too busy swimming in his clear blue eyes. “I never noticed,” Y/N whispered. Anakin hummed, asking her to continue. “Your eyes, they look like a lake.” she giggled. “They are pretty. If you looked up at the sun, your eyes would probably glitter like a real lake.” Anakin felt so flustered. No one ever complimented his eyes. Well, they had, but not in the way Y/N had. It was always nice eyes. You probably get all the chick with those eyes. “Thank you, your eyes are pretty too.” “Your E/C eyes lit up. “They get all bright and shimmery when you're excited about something. They get dull when you’re sad or frustrated. When you get embarrassed they glitter more than they’re supposed to.” Anakin started leaning in. The moment was shattered when they heard a commotion downstairs.

Taglist

@songbirdcannabe

@blondekel77

Note:

My summer classes have started so I will begin to post on Mondays. Thank you for understanding.

#anakin x padme #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker smut #captain rex #stawars #anakin fluff #anakin angst #new fanfic #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker #obi wan #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka #star wars ahsoka

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vinnival · 3 years

Note

If you're still doing these, I'd love a Madness Combat Match up? (If not please ignore thiS your writing is just too good 😭💞)

So I'm fairly short I guess, 5'3 I think?? I have ADHD (diagnosed) and I don't really do much but play games and mess with my phone. I'm Pansexual and I have short (ish) brown hair and brown eyes! I might use technology a lot but honestly I know absolutely nothing about technology outside of like, phones or something. You need me to code something?? Girl HOW. I also tend to be pretty loud around people I'm comfortable with, but if I'm not I'm pretty quiet and reserved. However, if you have a similar interest to me, I'll be all over that and use it as an outlet to get close to you. Also I'm a fairly picky eater, I have a hard time eating fruits or vegetables, although I've been trying to eat healthier despite thaT. I try to be nice to everyone and I have a hard time handling when people are upset, though the most I can do is say "it's going to be okay" because people tend to forget that things do in fact get better. I hope that this was ok aaAA

OH HONEY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I ADORE YOU OMGOMG I will give you this brownie and you will accept my love deal? TOO LATE YOURE DOING IT

I love when people compliment my work I hhrbehehrhddhrje💞💞💞 enjoy it love!

You got a match! You're matched with...

Auditor!

You're definitely the "childhood friend" scenario

When you found out your friend from like 2nd grade up to 10th was now the leader of what's basically a mafia in post-apocalyptic Nevada...?

You HAD to go visit him

And WOW when you got there you were scared out of your wits

Grunts everywhere with their guns trained on you

Ten mins later a familiar void-black figure stepped into your periphreals

He had to do a double take once he recognized you

"May I ask... What are you doing here?"

"Well... I heard noise that you apparently started a mafia, and wanted to come check on you," you were talking really quietly, but Audi was used to most of your talking habits already :,]

He brought you inside ofc to catch up

"You haven't grown a bit since I last saw you"

"At least I'm not a forever void-like being"

"...Cliche."

You explained everything thats happened to you, how the hellhole in Nevada affected you and your family

You know, just regular tuesday talk

You were pleased to know he still secretly enjoyed video games

You two then passionately talked about every game you both have played since you two split

The grunts and agency members love you ngl

You always help out around the facility, talking with the MAGs or the regulars

You're very respectful and they all appreciate you for that

Everyone sees the chemistry between you and Auditor too

They even began calling you "special boss" or "miss boss" or even "side boss"

Auditor deifnitely makes you eat healthy

He just wants you to be as nutritionally set as possible

He also knows you took an interest in robotics in HS and managed to gather some books in case you ever felt just a tad curious about it

You were very grateful for that

If you ever have an ADHD overload Audi immediately picks up on it, and ushers you to a safe room to calm down, maybe relax for a bit

He's very punctual and organized, so he almost never forgets anything

So he's basically become your "reminders" app

He was 100% willing to

No matter how much you felt weird about it

Of course he asked you to stay at the facility with him

"Nevada is very dangerous nowadays, especially with Wimbleton running amok. Stay here."

That was not a request, more of a demand

You simply accepted

You guys were chatting lightly while playing Tekken one day

You managed to knock Audi out, and he approved of how you did so with smart, new tactics you came up with in the spot

He set his controller aside, and stood up, looking serious

You noticed it right away, "You okay?"

He nodded silently, and left the room, only to return a couple minutes later

"Around 8 years. We've known each other for 8 years, and before we parted ways I wanted to ask this of you, but I was never able to."

You got a sneaky suspicion of what he was getting at, and your cheeks grew warmer every passing second, and then you noticed his arm was behind his back

"Ever since then, I've been filled with regret. I eventually pushed you to the back of my mind. But, now that you're here, I couldn't wait any longer..."

He pulled his arm from behind his back, and a beautiful bouquet of black Hawaiian Hibiscus waited in his hand

"I... I really like you. I love you. Would you do me the honor of dating me?"

you turned into a puddle

obviously you said yes

the grunts call you "royal highness"

wonder who told them to do that... 🤔

Heoeheei i hope you liked this <33 you gave me auditor stan kind of vibes and he would really appreciate your respectful, quiet air

#madness combat #madness combat matchup #madness combat auditor #the auditor #madness combat x reader #auditor x reader #hmm maybe he isnt so bad after all

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sleepyowlwrites · 2 years

Text

find the word tag CCXVII, CCXIII

when did this tag stop being the thing I did all the time? very odd. very odd indeed. also I noticed that I was missing a ccxiii so I just added it in here. heep hoop. we're finally getting a bunch of new associates so the rest of us won't be so strung out and have to work extra long shifts to get stuff done. and one of them has my name! but her mom (who also works with me) calls me Princess so there needn't be any confusion. and everyone can just call me by my various nicknames anyway.

I grabbed a couple stars off the nearest constellation @diphthongsfordays @akindofmagictoo

hack (the illusion, 2011)

Torash ran in front of me, pushing branches aside or hacking at them with his sword when they wouldn't give way. Our pursuers had dogs tracking our smell anyway, so no amount of caution would hide our trail until we reached the river. Speed was what mattered now. Verain ran behind me, making no sounds while Torash and I crashed through the bushes that blocked our path. I couldn't even hear her breathing, but knew she was there, protecting my back just like before. My own heart thudded against my ribcage, beating for all it was worth, my lungs trying to give me the air I needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

hall (the grave diggers, 2021)

Darryl rolls his eyes. A voice yells out of the void. “Do NOT dump your belongings in the hall or I swear I’ll report you!”

“You’re making Pumpkin mad.” Sanders holds the bucket at arms length and hands it through the void. Eventually he takes it back out, but the tools are gone.

“Gumpkin is perpetually mad. And- wait. Pumpkin?” Darryl snorts. “Was that Wanda’s joke?”

Sanders nods. “She says it’s seasonally appropriate to amend people’s names.”

heal (summon story d0)

“Is it just me, or is Wryn’s spirit becoming more chatty?”

Shae rolled her eyes. “Just because it shows up after a killing and makes terrible jokes about murder doesn’t mean it’s getting chatty. It has to conserve its strength, after all. And I assume that Wryn doesn’t make it through a fight completely unscathed. It probably has to heal him.”

harsh (life is: the flowers of spring, 2011)

Life is the flowers of spring When before the sky had been grey And the air cold The wind harsh The ground wet and muddy But then you wake up in the morning And you can't see the brown Because your yard is covered over With buttercups and clover

have (a universe of you, 2021)

“I don’t need any more universe,” she says with her tongue coated in stardust. “I see it in your eyes.”

“I see it in your eyes,” he answers, sawdust and tree sap on his palms, paint on the roof of his mouth. his words have colors like the fire when the sky’s full dark.

“then that’s the bucket for your collection. are you satisfied?” she is the only song he wants to sing.

he peels the hesitation from his fingertips and touches a thumb to her pulse. it blooms like later July roses and smells so sweet. “I’ve never needed anything else.”

heart (the sleepy stash)

"I'm perfectly capable of studying by myself."

"Oh, I'm not going to study with you. I'm going to cast a sleep spell on you so you don't die before the test tomorrow."

He stared at her. "I'll cast a blocking spell."

Her grin was completely unnerving. "You probably can't remember the words. Your brain is slipping off each and every thought, your heart keeps trying to skip beats. You are so tired you think you've only been here three hours and it's not 1 in the morning."

health (the illusion, 2011)

"Look at her feet. How can you say there's not marked? There're blisters all over them, and--, I can see her bone on this one!"

Torash reached as if to touch my left foot, but I scooted away from him, pulling myself to a standing position by scrabbling up the tree at my back. As soon as I let go I fell over, though, and tried to ignore the strange knowledge of sticky liquid running from where my feet should've been, up my legs, almost to my knees.

Was it blood? Can something bleed if it doesn't really exist?

Yet, Torash and Verain could both see them. One said they were torn, the other perfectly assured of their complete health. Who should I believe?

heat (but I was a saint you couldn't own, 2021)

you were a warpath; you and your endless screams a tightening of broken fingers on a cut that will always bleed a yesterday of sorrows too unsightly for tomorrow’s reprieve a message for another to cherish while pining for a moment’s heat

stairs, sounds, slips, stings, stands. BONUS: saturates, spites. @vellichor-virgo @mecharose @ettawritesnstudies @stardustspiral @writing-with-melon OR ANYBODY or nobody

#find the word tag #tag game #searching circle

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freddiefcknmercury · 3 years

Text

A Promise(part 2)- Crimson & Clover

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader(Black coded/Genderless)

Word Count: 2.7+

Warnings/Disclaimer: SMUT. ANGST. cursing. mild depression/heart-ache. etc etc. if something needs to be tagged please lemme know.

A/N: LOL I'm back on my bullshit yall. heavy angst/depression from the previous Steve centered storyline so if you haven't read "You really think I didn't know?" I'll do some magic linky links here and at the bottom just in case. Also I'm trying something kinda different with the way I post the fics so feedback is welcome.

ALSO this one comes with a tiny playlist! there are Bolded lyrics throughout if you want to get a deeper sense of where I was emotionally writing this and where reader is as well you can Def give these songs a listen, they are in order of appearance:

Crimson & Clover- Tommy James & The Shondells

Every Time I Breathe- Arlissa

Navy Blue - Hasani

Summary: Bucky takes an extended leave for "work" related reasons and reader slips back into some dark places in his absence...

~*As always, be Nice to me I’m Delicate*~

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He said he might be gone most of the week. Sam called the day before and all you know is it's something important. He didn't go into detail, just packed a bag and you'd never seen him do that before. But he was also only gone a day or two at a time and never felt the need to tell you about it before now either.

Up until recently you'd tip-toe around each other. Not like you used to with Steve though, worse. Bucky is a lot better at making sure you don't know he's there until it's too late. It felt like you'd never get used to each other, or more likely that you'd never want to. You might've still been secretly hoping that he'd stop caring and go away... after a while you got tired of your own bullshit and realized he's giving off that vibe on purpose. Wordlessly telling you how you should feel about him, not wanting to get too close. You never much liked being told what to do.

It was only about two months before you became a Barnes' expert. You'd sit up at night listening intently for when he'd shower, get in bed, or wake up. He never slept more than five maybe six hours at a time, you'll never understand how he can function like that. You know how he likes his coffee, which angle he holds his cup. How and where he takes off his shoes, how much ice he puts in a drink, the way he likes to cut his toast, and what time he has to do all of it. There's an almost unnerving pattern to him, one that's always been there and you were just unwilling to notice for so long, and you're not sure if he's even aware of it.

You woke up to him already gone. You knew he was leaving but actually being left alone like that unsettled you more than you anticipated, a serious case of Deja vu. You went into your routine like normal, because everything still was, but by the fifth day... you stepped into the front room and got that empty feeling. One you hadn't really had since...

It stopped you for a few seconds longer than you liked and a large knot formed in your stomach. You spent the whole day trying to ignore the feeling but it only got worse. Like a hunger pain but much more vague, crawling through each muscle. You'd catch yourself staring at his room, Bucky's room but also... Steve's. It's the first time you let yourself admit to him fully crossing your mind in over a year.

You laid up in bed, trying to count the metaphorical sheep to no avail. Getting up thinking that a snack or a warm drink will stop the restlessness, you pause in the tiny hallway shared by your bedrooms. The low blue light from the moon outside dustily illuminating the space through a cloudy bathroom window. You stare at the door like any second he's going to ask what you're doing up so late and you can tell him to mind his own business while pouring two cups of tea.

You just wanted to touch the knob; turn it to make sure it still works- that you're still "allowed in there if you want". But stepping inside was too far, an invasion of Bucky's privacy, and you felt it. But you couldn't help yourself. You needed to know.

They were definitely cut from the same cloth. Sparse furnishings and no decorations, save a few very small trinkets he'd held onto from who knows where. There is exactly one row on his bookshelf filled with composition notebooks that were beat to hell and back. Sticky notes lined the edge of most of the pages, so much so that they easily could've been mistaken for feathers on a quick glance. You dare not touch them. Observing someone with a past that checkered is very different to reading into the things they deem worthy of physically writing down.

Where Steve used to leave small drawings and notes Bucky left half empty ink pens and a few well used pairs of gloves. You saunter to the far corner of the room and caress a worn leather jacket hanging precariously on the lowest peg of a coat rack. Doing a slow sweep of the space something in the otherwise barren closet catches your eye. The knot in your stomach that had almost disappeared was back and it brought friends. Your shirt. His shirt. The big one that said BROOKLYN across the front, what you didn't know was your "going away gift." The one you balled up and shoved in the top corner of his closet, at the time hoping you'd never look at it again. You're amazed that it's still here, that Bucky hadn't tossed it out or tried to give it back to you when he moved in.

So you put it on. You're still not sure why but you needed to wear it. To feel it drape over your skin, enveloping you in warmth and that beautiful clean familiar scent you... loved once. It sent a shiver down your spine. The knots in your stomach were gone but now there's one in your throat. You can feel the tears seated right behind your eyes. You sit on the bed holding your face pleading with the water to stay put but it's too late. You miss him. You hate to admit it, but it's true and it always has been. You're angry and you should be, you loved him- you thought he might've loved you. Pulling the hem of the shirt up you wipe the tears off your face and fall into a pillow, trying to calm yourself out of your rage unintentionally drifting into sleep.

*****************************************************

You wake up to the sound of music in the kitchen.

...Ah, now I don't hardly know her, but I think I could love her...

You sit up quickly checking your phone: 11:34am. You'd fallen asleep in Bucky's room, in his bed. A blanket had been placed over you and a short scan of the room returned a brown leather duffel bag and set of black boots that weren't present last night. He'd come back early this morning and found you here. You can feel your heart fall straight out of your ass, the void that was left being filled with pure embarrassment. Is he angry? He did tuck you in...

As slowly and quietly as possible you make your way towards the door, poking your head out just enough to assess the situation. You can see his back in the kitchen, he's hovering over the sink. You notice the couch, the spare blanket and pillow from the bathroom closet folded neatly on one of the arm rests, he had to sleep there. The void gets deeper. You pull the door open just enough to slip out of and there's a quiet creak. Steve never did fix that, and you just figured out why.

Bucky didn't turn around but definitely noticed. He steps to the side, now in front of the stove and you here something crack and sizzle. You're not sure what to do here. You can try to apologies and explain but there's no un-embarrassing way out of this one. You fold your arms over your stomach trying to hold all your very delicate pieces together while you attempt to speak up. Finally reaching the bar and fully prepared to say good morning when he quickly sets a hot bowl down in front of you. White rice and a fried egg- runny yolk. You'd make it for breakfast when you'd get up early or couldn't sleep, a friend from school put you on to it. Looks like he's been studying you too. You make eye contact but, just briefly. From what little of the expression you get on his face nothing indicates that he's mad. But he hasn't said anything to the contrary either.

How was your trip? Dangerous I bet-sorry you couldn't come home and sleep in your own goddamn bed! Oh?! AND you made me breakfast!

You feel like a crazy person.

"Comfy last night?"

He's pouring himself some coffee, not yet turning your way. There's no hostility in his voice.

You chuckle nervously.

"Yeah.. sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it."

He sets a small glass of juice down in front of you. Heavy eye contact this time, but his expression is soft. He didn't ask for an explanation and you really didn't want to give him one. But you still feel guilt looming over you. You take the glass in both hands and nurse it.

He nods at you with a squint, taking a big sip of coffee.

"If I knew that was yours I would've given it back."

The shirt. You forgot you actually put it on. You hold your breath stroking the fabric gently. Contemplating your next words.

"It's not- well, not really."

He raises an eyebrow.

"It was a gift, so I guess it does belong to me..."

Glancing back down at it you can see him realize it says "Brooklyn." His expression changes to a knowing one and it reads like regret but he quickly tries to box it back up for you. This is a new move for him.

There's a much longer pause in conversation than either of you would like before he shifts his weight awkwardly.

"Sorry."

You push glass, now empty back across the bar towards him.

"Don't worry about it-"

You swivel in your seat quickly, taking your bowl and getting up to leave. He steps out from the kitchen after you.

"Thanks for breakfast."

The tears had been welling up and started to pour over as you left. You're still in no state to pretend to be a functioning person right now. Trying to save him from your ugly cry face by escaping but he grabs your shoulder gently suggesting you backwards.

You cover your mouth to hush a sob. You can see your chest start heave but there's nothing you can do to stop yourself. He grabs the bowl setting it down carefully, then you feel a warm metal sensation squeezing the back of your neck.

"You don't have to be over it."

He's been back a couple hours and already knows you're still a mess. You scoff, laughing at yourself really.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

He whispered back quickly, exasperated, but tender.

You sniffle; pathetic.

"That's not how it feels."

"He fucked up. He just doesn't know it."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his embrace.

It's nice to feel another person. A real solid human being; you can't remember the last time you hugged someone like this. You turn in his arms to face him. He looks tired. Not just 'had-to-sleep-on-an-old-couch' tired. Emotionally repressed. Maybe he has actually wanted to talk to you. He pulls you into him, it's just a hug but it almost hurt how sweet this was.

Then a thought came to you, not really sure how, you can't handle more rejection right now; but you kissed him anyway, hard. Like him being gone almost killed you- because it did. He pulls away from you, just a little, reading your face his own expressionless. You search his eyes for any kind of hint as to what's going on inside his mind. You're not ready to admit this was a mistake yet. There's no real way to know how long you stood there like that. You only dare to move after you hear the song change in the background.

Words... thought they just fade away

but hurt... gave them a place to stay

"Do something."

You were sure it was just in your head but it creaked out past your lips in less than a whisper, pleading with him.

He covered your mouth with his, smoothing both hands down your neck to your shoulders gripping them gently, intently. You cling to his waist almost afraid to explore anywhere else, then slowly drag nails along his back. He pulls you back into him, you want to fuse with the warmth radiating off of his body, he bends and you collide onto the floor with a muffled thud. He cradles your head quickly so you don't get hurt but you wouldn't care at this point.

The way you fit into each other is unnerving, like your bodies weren't meant for anybody else. You both scramble to undress him in between breathy wet kisses and he's... magnificent. He pulls off his shirt and you swiftly run fingers from his neck down each arm. The metal one is warm, this surprises you for some reason. You watch as each "muscle" dances at your touch and you catch a small glimpse of something on his face that resembles insecurity... or fear. He shelves it quickly in response to you bucking your hips up to dismiss your underwear.

He buries his face in your neck, warm breaths ghosting your skin. Hooking his hands behind your knees he hoists your legs up around his waist. He bites down gently and you gasp. It's too much. He's everywhere, all at once. The last person to touch you event remotely close to this was-

"...Steve."

It just came out, you almost didn't notice it. Bucky stops, pulling back and away. He scans you, a pitiful, panting mess on the floor. The most vulnerable you've probably ever been and definitely in front of him. He shakes his head slowly once, chest heaving.

"No."

Knots line your stomach once again. He grabs your wrist to hold your arms in place up above your head and presses his forehead against yours.

"Look at me."

You hold eye contact there for a solid minute, you're sure of it. He leans forward delicately dragging teeth against your ear.

"You're gonna keep saying it until you can't forget."

He drops his hips and lines up with your entrance. You feel a thick wash of euphoria from the pressure, throwing your head back as much as possible given the floor. You roll your hips along to his, cradling each other perfectly.

His eyes didn't leave your face until you both feel your legs begin to tremble.

"Oh Bucky."

The only words you can remember.

You feel every stroke hasten and all his muscles tighten each time his name falls from your lips. He pulls your shirt up to your neck looking to spatter kisses and bite marks across your torso. You futilely dig one set of nails into the floor and the other in his shoulder as he hungrily growls into your stomach, cursing, longing for mercy.

"Fuck."

You pull him back up to your face demanding his tongue. You hear the floorboard creek from the pressure of a metal hand, the flesh one surely bruising your hip by now. There's a deep enduring moan from the back of his throat as he finds his release inside you. You gasp at the sensation and you both pant into each other, nothing but a mess on the floor now.

He presses a long, firm kiss into the bridge of your nose then falls gently on his back beside you. You roll your head up to look at his face, whatever it is he's feeling isn't immediately obvious as he stares up at the ceiling. You shift onto your side placing a light, cautious hand on his chest and he glances over at you, reaching to squeeze your thigh reassuringly.

The sky is Navy Blue soon to be baby blue and baby you got nothing but time...

He looks over your face in a deep sigh before retiring his gaze to the ceiling.

"I don't know him... The guy that left you like that."

You watch intently has his jaw clenched, he's never been able to hide that bit very well.

"I don't know what kind of..."

He trails off, clearly upset.

You sigh deeply.

"I was gonna die that night."

He rolls his head back to look at you.

"The day I met him? I had pretty much made up my mind."

You start to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. Almost reminiscent.

"But he found me in the staircase..."

You hate how subtly he did some things. If you weren't lying next to him. There's no way you'd ever be able to tell his breathing had changed.

"Essentially-"

You pick your head up, chin on his sternum.

"He saved my life."

You state matter of factually. You watch his body relax in a short, bitter way.

He rolls his head over just enough to look you in the eyes. You kiss his chest once tenderly before moving to stand up. You extend a hand down for him to grab.

"That isn't good for your back."

"You really think I didn't know?" Part1

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stoopsbookstore · 5 years

Text

Kinktober Day 14 (10/14/2019)

Kinks - Dacryphilia (Crying) & Hybristophilia (Fetish of knowing your partner just commited a crime a.k.a. Bonnie and Clyde)

"Did you hear about the possible theft happened in town?"

"No, but do you think it's the same hooded guy who's been all over the wanted posters?!"

"Oh my God, what if he tried attacking the princess?!"

"Is that why she's being locked in a tower?!"

"He killed that vanguard, maybe he's escalating to the princess!"

Rumors spread throughout the kingdom, not letting up for even a second. They said that the princess was attacked by a hooded man, or that she was pregnant by one of the butlers.

"Do you think it was Jaemin?"

"Hell no, he's too much of a child. Maybe it was Johnny, the stable boy."

"She does go to the garden a lot and he is always th-"

The gossip stopped as Y/N walked by the two slackers, Yuta and Jaemin in tow.

"Don't you think you should focus on cleaning the palace instead of whose cock I'm jumping on or if someone wants to slash my throat?"

The four servants were stunned at the mood changes in Y/N, she never had been this mean, even if she was scolding or busting them. It was like she had been possessed. The flowers in the garden wilted and were eventually taken over by weeds. The entire atmosphere of the palace felt drained. Y/N walked the halls like a ghost, floating through the corridors. Letters in her hands that she refused to let anyone even look at.

Yuta and Jaemin watched Y/N walk up the stairs to her temporary tower, the tall, winding spiral staircase hopefully a deterrent for any who try to attack. Yuta noticed one of the letters at the first step, picking up and reading the contents.

"Do you think he went after her?"

"No," Yuta looked at the younger male, patting his back in assurance, "he's a criminal, but Taeyong said something like he's chaotic good, he steals from the rich and gives to the poor. He wouldn't have attacked Y/N. Also, based on these letters, it seems like they have a relationship."

"Why do you think she's been so quiet then?"

"Broken heart?" Yuta shrugged before Chaeyeon came up, ripping the letter out of his hands.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with that letter?"

"It was on the ste-"

"It's meant for Princess Y/N and no one else," Chaeyeon barked at Yuta, her eyes with a glint of annoyance, walking up the stairs to deliver the note.

"So you know about the boy on the wanted poster?" Chaeyeon stopped as the younger male bared his teeth, "do you know him?!"

"I could ask you little shits the same question," Chaeyeon bit back, "now if you excuse me, I need to deliv-"

"Get back to work, you three."

Shindong, the head butler yelled at the trio at the base of the tower, breaking up the impromptu meeting. Yuta and Jaemin kept their heads down while Chaeyeon walked up the staircase to the princess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the tower, Y/N didn't do much except read or sleep, hours upon hours of nothing. Night had begun, the sun going down in the sky causing a glow in the room that comforted the princess, the sky a golden bronze turning into a deep void.

Y/N walked over to the desk pushed up against the wall, the wanted poster and a familiar face. Tears begun swelling up, falling onto the parchment, causing it to shiver up even more.

A knocking on the floot entrance made Y/N jump back.

"Y/N, it's Yuta! We only have a few minutes until someone checks in on you, open up!"

Y/N bent down and reached for the handle of the hatch, opening it only for three boys scattering in the small space.

"Have you been cryi-"

Jaemin was cut off by Doyoung's cloak engulfing Y/N, the girl audibly sobbing as the criminal swayed back and forth, comforting the princess.

"What happened?" Y/N asked Doyoung, her voice weak and breaking as she noticed the blood on his neck.

"I'll tell you all about it, I just needed to see you," Doyoung brushed his thumbs over Y/N's cheeks before placing a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Yuta, Jaemin, what's going on?" Y/N broke out of her lover's hold to scold the two servants, the duo looking around for any sort of answers.

"Your highness, please don't be mad."

"We've been helping him," Jaemin's confession spilled out of his lips like a waterfall, Yuta contorting his body in discomfort as he tried to hide himself, "we've been taking some jewelry and goods so he can give them to his friends. We helped him come in through the kitchen every night. He's a good guy, we prom-"

"I know he's a good guy, Jaemin," Y/N's eyes red and cheeks itchy from the tears, "I just didn't realize you've been helping him."

"Are we in trouble?" Yuta looked up from the floor, his eyes pleading for forgiveness, but there was no need to plead.

"Go get bandages and antiseptic," Y/N lifted the hatch once more, "be quiet and careful, don't let anyone know what's going on."

Yuta and Jaemin hurried down the stairs, the opening now closed as Y/N went back to hugging the hooded figure. Doyoung's arms squeezed Y/N's waist, trying to bring the girl impossibly close to him.

"I've been worried about you, Yuta told me they put you in a tower because of me," Doyoung walked the pair out to the small bed, just barely big enough for the two, "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Did you really kill that man?" Y/N was straddling Doyoung's lap, her arms around his neck, her nightgown bunching up, "Doyoung, please tell me the truth."

Doyoung tilted Y/N's chin up, their eyes meeting each other, "do you want the truth?"

Y/N bit her lip, scared to know the answer, but wanting the truth.

Running her hands through his hair, he was debating on what to tell the girl in his lap. He was panicking, the room now only lit by a few candles on the walls, Y/N looking more ethereal. Doyoung didn't realize his mouth had opened until Y/N gasped.

"Yes."

Y/N stood up, half in shock, half in acknowledgement, her eyes growing glossy again.

"Y/N, it was self-defense," Doyoung mimicked her actions, standing up, tears falling on his cheek, "I didn't want to, but he attacked som-"

"Chaeyeon."

"She told you?"

"Who do you think has been bringing me the letters?" Y/N let out a breath of relief, "she told me about that night, I pieced it together when I saw the posters going up. I thought the worst."

Doyoung walked up to Y/N, kissing her in a moment of passion, "I don't ever want you to think the worst of me. I promise I only do good when I'm being bad."

Y/N smiled through the tears, Doyoung standing in front of her in comfortable silence. She pulled off her nightgown to reveal her body, only panties covering her. Doyoung took off his cloak, new wounds covering his arms, her hands tracing over each one.

"I know I'm not the prince you thought you would be in love," Doyoung helped Y/N to the bed, moving papers and books out of the way, Y/N sitting on the wood as Doyoung began kissing her body, "but I promise I will be the best man I can be, god you're so beautiful."

Y/N responded to Doyoung's touches with whines and moans, his praises felt sll throughout her body. Y/N kept her head on Doyoung's chest, her hands scratching down his back as his fingers began to play in her panties. Doyoung instantly started working on Y/N's clit, his other hand on her back, holding Y/N close to him, her tears still flowing.

"Don't cry, I'm here for you," Doyoung pulled his hand away from Y/N, "come on, not on a desk."

Y/N hopped off the desk, following Doyoung as he gently laid her down on the mattress, kissing and loving her body.

"You just killed someone," Y/N's voice cracked.

"To protect another," Doyoung kissed up Y/N's stomach to her neck, snuggling into the flesh, "I don't do anything horrible."

"You're a wanted criminal," Y/N pulled on Doyoung's hair, a growl coming out of his throat.

"Who you're in bed with," Doyoung pulled down Y/N's panties, throwing them aside, burying his face into Y/N's slit as he began to eat her out.

"Doyoung," Y/N's body was drained from all the crying, everything already sensitive, "I don't wa-want you t-"

"You want me to stop?" Doyoung halted his actions, confused, "I thou-"

"Just make love to me please," Y/N's voice cracked again, Doyoung untying the lace on his pants and chucking them to meet Y/N's discarded panties.

Doyoung pumped himself, rubbing his cock up and down in Y/N's essence. He pushed into her, bottoming out as he pulled her closer to him. His thrusts began almost immediately, Y/N keeping her mouth shut so they won't get caught, her hands on his lower back.

"My princess, I never want to see you crying again," the passion in the crimnial's thrusts meeting Y/N's hips in beat with the starting rain, "I want to see you happy forever, I want you to be mine forever. God, I wish I could fill you up without the kingdom knowing."

Y/N let out a ecstatic moan, Doyoung's dirty talk bringing her closer and closer to the edge she was ready to jump off of.

"Having children with you would be the best thing, they would have an amazing life," Doyoung felt Y/N clenching around him, "just a little bit more, princess."

Y/N felt her legs shake as Doyoung moved his hand to her clit, rubbing at the same pace of his hips.

Y/N came with a silent moan, her eyes shutting tight as she felt Doyoung's semen leak out of her, the liquid feeling warm on her thighs.

"You're so perfect," Doyoung kissed her forehead, pulling out, but holding Y/N in a calm aura, the only noise coming from the downpour that suddenly emerged outside.

Y/N got herself out of Doyoung's grasp, laying down and wrapping herself in the blanket. Doyoung uncovered her for a second, grabbing her discarded night gown to wipe her down. Y/N's eyes started to flutter shut, Doyoung kissing her cheek before spotting the wanted poster.

'Fuck, I have to go,' he wanted to say, he really did, but with the entire kingdom looking for him, he couldn't risk himself and potentially Y/N for his own selfish wants.

As Doyoung was about to leave, his wrist was held by Y/N's hand, her body covered by the blanket, her eyes tired from the roller coaster of emotions.

"Stay, please."

Doyoung grabbed his cloak, placing it over Y/N's shoulder before crawling into bed with her.

"For tonight and forever."

#doyoung #kim doyoung #nct #nct 127 #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct au #robin hood!doyoung #my writings

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