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#also the card was so cute i couldnt NOT draw them
unculturedswine69 · 1 year
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Please come home Juza 😭
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duskerot · 1 year
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on god i want to make Meal so bad right now
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goldentlme · 4 months
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i’m searching for you in my fading memories .
alternate versions .
whooh . WHOOH !!!!! good GOD !!!!
listen to the song linked while looking I think it really adds . look up a translation too if you want ! listen to the entire lies of p ost in fact . its fucking fantastic .
NOTES .
in april 2022 , i drew a fanmade book cover for the danganronpa x reader fic Sleep Awake . in december of 2023 i redesigned my reader for that story for the third time and thought it appropriate to redraw that old cover with their new design . and yesterday , january 13th 2024 , i finished that bitch . View the fruits of my labour .
in my last Notes section i talked about nerfing the lighting . well um . i nerfed it again . i dont know if it was fate or if i just . idk . didnt want to but i axed both original concepts - the yellow overhead light ( mostly) , and the light blue under light - and just Winged the fuck outta it . that ' mostly ' means that the light source is Still overhead but i just took the colour out to make it more neutral .
another thing i brought up were the shelves and how i wanted to add more items to them . I did it this time , but not to the extent that i really wanted to . i'd hoped for more Clutter and ultimately couldnt think of anymore than a few items . SAID ITEMS BEING !!!!
the pills . self explanatory , since they haunted the majority of cases 2 and 3 .
chess pieces . cute little reference to the chess scene ! even if the scene itself didnt feature real chess pieces , the imagery wouldnt work if i didnt use real pieces .
the letter opener . dont need to explain this one . but i Did originally plan to have it in shin's hand ( explaining why that one is balled like that , because there was originally a Thing in there ) but i couldnt figure out how to draw it and make it look Good . i only added it back when i was colouring the trinkets on the shelves and realised that i Forgot to put it back into the drawing .
the joker card in the bottom corner . also shouldnt have to explain this one .
LITTLE DETAILS I THINK YOU SHOULD LOOK AT .
THE HANDS !!!!!!!!! i decided at the very last second to make them vaguely see through . and theyre all a persons ! amami and shinguji are the obvious ones , but the two holding at the top are supposed to be ouma ( on the scarf ) and akamatsu ( on the rope ) . i would have included tojo's as well but i couldnt fit it in the composition without it looking awkward and out of place and i thought there were already enough references to case 3 as is .
and you literally cant even see it but if you look REALLY closely at oumas hand . his skin is a little grey and you can see the veins through the skin . wonder what happened there . Guess we'll never know !
THE BOOKS !! did the same thing as last time with a Little More . purple books are ouma , green are both amami and tojo , blue is both kiibo and chabashira , pink is akamatsu , and red is phys themselves . i know phys's canonical colour association is olive green but consider : shin is red . look at him . hes Red . that ones for me specifically .
with that . i did all of those books by hand . i drew about 9 variations of books and copy pasted them sure but i Shaded and Coloured them all individually . youll never guess how fucking LONG that took . so yeah . no one book has the exact same shading . goodie !
THE JOKER !!! yes i know i talked about it in the previous section but i WILL talk about the card itself . because i unironically am so in love with how that drawing came out . the little guy featured there is my Lies of P oc scaramouche or scaramuccia ( i use them interchangeably ) . hes a silly jester :3 . the depiction on the card is of him in his prime , before . All Of That Happened . story-wise he's a super famous circus performer known as " The One Man Show " because all of his acts are done alone and are absolutely insane . hes very good at what he does which is Why he doesnt have a crew . and the only reason hes so good is because he't not even human , just pretending to be !
additionally , i originally planned for that joker card to be a Real Life Joker . because a little known fun fact about me is that i collect playing card decks ! but i looked and literally NONE of the ones i currently own would have fit the piece . so . yeah . i just ended up drawing darling scaramuccia . heres the full image im so chuffed
i think thats all i got for the drawing itself . i initially started this back in early december but got stuck and picked it back up a couple days ago , so its been marinating for a bit . hope we all like it ! i think its Better than the original . THE SERIOUS STUFF .
its so fucking insane to think that its been almost 2 years . not only have i truly rediscovered my love of reader insert fanfiction after so many years unable to even think about it without feeling a little sick to my stomach , but ive made so many good friends and core memories through this fic . i even got back into writing . literally never thought id write again after my 11th grade english class and my 10th grade creative writing class . and im having FUN with it . wild .
anyways , this one goes out to vee @chihirolovebot for writing one of The Fics of all time , putting up with my insane ramblings about idol these past months ( READ SWINGING RIGHT NEOWWWW ) , and for letting me help design their dnd characters . godspeed .
it goes out to nex @nexuswrites for beating better genshin character builds into me , giving great fic recommendations , creating thief of detectives quandary fame . READ DQ ( THREAT ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , and being a fellow p5 and pokemon lover . i miss the coordinator and justice
and of COURSE !!!! rei @berry-creates . the gay the myth the legend . a fellow oc haver and lover , a fantastic writer , and an overall lovely person . this one goes out to u for sharing oc playlists , playing splatoon with me , and for creating maddie . theyre a little freak and i want to study them . i love seeing u go insane over them its like enrichment for me bc i too am also a little mentally ill about them im just really good at hiding it .
theres a whole lot more i could say and more people i could talk about but this is long enough , isnt it ?
thanks for a beautiful 2 years of physouma yaoi . heres to the upcoming sleep awake case 6 , epilogue , all the future additions to the one shot book , the entire rest of dq , tfp , and sams , and more blorbos to put in the smoothie maker . this took a whole two hours to write .
cheers , boys .
song of the post .
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wanderrlust0 · 5 months
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i hung out with snow and 2 of their friends for their bday (2 dozen anni celebration) and it was a lot of fun!
we got to the city around 3:15 and walked to ktown. we went to this bakery they all usually go to and they had so many tasty treats, i wanted to try them all! i got a strawberry bouchee & snow got us this strawberry refresher thats kind of carbonated but it was good! it had pieces of strawberries in it so it was cute. then we walked to kinokuniya which is this huge japanese store filled with books,magazines,manga, stationery, plushies,toys,collectables, &moreeee. it had 3 stories!!! there was soo much to look at & i def wanna go back!! i told the bestie about it & she wants to go! (i didnt realize how close it was to bryant park as well. like i totally wouldve went there last time i was in bryant park if i knewww.) we were in there for like an hr. i bought a spirited away japanese book & a cute pop up holiday card for myself bc i liked the art. i wanted a small spirited away book but they only had the big one and the book that shows miyazakis sketches. i feel like i shouldve just gotten that one, even tho it was more money..maybe on my next trip. afterwards, we went to muji, then the nintendo store. so snows friends are very much gamers. well, they allll are lol & theyre into kpop, conventions, etc so theyre quite diff from my friend group but they were very nice! & they were already talking about stuff like how i have to see their friends room bc she has cool things and how they’ll force me & snow to watch the live action.. demon slayer mugen train musical…lolll yes that. we then went backkk to ktown to eat at abiko curry, which is a spot they go to a lot. it was my first time trying it and omg it was sooo good, i ate it all. ive never had korean curry so i thought it was so cool that i could add a pork chop to it and it was crispy! it was so satisfying lol it was like our first real meal of the day at 8:30. im gonna be thinking about that curry for a whilee. afterwards, we were gonna go to this place called starbucks reserve, which is like a very fancy coffee shop/bar, but we realized we wouldnt have enough time so were saving it for some other time. we got gelato that was nearby and they had such cool flavors!! lychee, guava, plum.. i got a scoop of ube and thai iced tea and they went perfect together omg i want it again. i didnt know how thai iced tea gelato would taste but it tasted exactlyyy like the drink so it was so refreshing after our curry meal. after gelato we went back to the bakery to pick up things we wanted to take home with us. we didnt get on the train until 10:30 so we got home later than i thought & i was soso tired the next morning bc i had to wake up early but it was worth it lol. oh yeah! i forgot to mention but i gave snow their bday gift & card in the car so they opened the gift before we walked to the train station and !!! they loved it so much they criedddd D; it was sweet and also shocking and funny bc like!! i didnt mean to make you cry omggg loll for context, the gift was a framed drawing i made of inumaki from jujutsu kaisen and so they said thats its literally the best gift theyve ever gotten, mostly due to it being handmade and i was like WhaTttt no wayyy. the best gift youve ever gotten?!? they knew i was gonna draw something already bc they didnt want me to buy a gift & wanted something handmade like my art but ofc they didnt know what id draw & didnt really expect me to draw Him. they saved the card for our train ride home bc when they first opened it in the car & saw so many words they couldnt read it yet lol. when snow was on their way to my house they realized they forgot my gift (for my bday) and i was like MY Gift!!?! i really dont know what it could even be… it was fun spending time with them and i feel like its a nice change to hangout with a different friend group. idk like something about it feels fun and refreshing & just different. ofc it depends how comfortable i feel with everyone. but yeahhh, it was a good day & i got to try a lot of yummi foods
(my bracelet fell off and idk where it went:(( it could be somewhere in my room or my bfs room.. i dont believe it fell off at work.. or the shower..but i dont wanna think about thatD: it wasnt really a sentimental one i guess.. but it was like a good bracelet..& old.. &cute:( im hoping it shows uppppp!!!!)
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diary-in-disguise · 2 years
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Dream of a Magical Shop 9/1/2022
Its weird. I remember having a dream a few weeks ago where I was walking in a shopping district. I entered a shop and I wanted to buy these beautiful red silk Japanese printed sandals. Well I didn't have what was required for the sandals. I needed a big crystal and a huge bush of rosemary in addition to money.
I was sulky and complained "Why won't you take my money?? What kind of shop is this?" and i started begging to please let me buy it. The lady said i was annoying and put a spell on me so i couldn't speak anymore. So i left.
I guess i just had the continuation of the dream. I didn't have the rosemary but i did have the crystal needed by battling...My Sims characters. It was kind of interesting, i needed the sandals to jump higher and i was able to watch them in their 3D model forms tip over. It was a cool way of using old 3D assets. Any ways i entered the shop again and i was rummaging and saw there were one pair of the sandals left. I acquired them even without the rosemary. I also saw brown knitted booties with a red pattern on them. I will have to try drawing them they were cute.
Anyways i got the sandals, a white crystal gummy bear, and headed to checkout to pay. For a moment it took me awhile to get to the counter. But i did. The same lady was there i believe, an older woman with grey hair and glasses with deep black eyes. She was stern and her shop assistant said "Hannah you bring such good fortune today."
I said "Yes today has been blessed with good luck I am lucky to have acquired it" (even my dream self was surprised of my own happiness). The shop owner said "Well your luck is sadly about to end here with us this stuff is getting pretty pricy because of SHIPPING"
I then said "Shipping?? What?? How much is it?"
"$300! What a wallet rape!" the shop host chimed in
I really wanted the crystal bear. I thought for a moment the meaning of owning such a magical posession and i could trace the energy in my heart to it. I walked around the store again in disbelief of the $300 i would have to pay.
In my cynical tone I walked back up to the older shop keeper at the counter, she handed me the bear (which for some reason was now a blond looking honey bear with cartoon eyes) I asked her "do you really think this bear has something strong and mystical to it? Like it truly has powers that will make me have luck and company as i will treasure it always? I dont see a need to pay all this in shipping let me take it home!" For some reason i put the bear in my mouth and i bit down. couldnt tell if it was my tooth that got a small chip from the bear or if i chipped the bear. I wonder what that part means.
Then she looked at me and said "Hannah if you buy that bear you will treasure it but I know you will care for it and speak to it. The more you speak to it you will forget how to talk to others. If you get married you will not know how to speak to your husband. Since an object is no human. Also i dont like your complaints about shipping this is a shop that has won several awards! I dont like you complaining of our way of staying in business" She then took the bear from me and placed her finger on my forehead and drew a wide triangle and clapped her palm in the middle. She proceeded to say-with a kind smile this time "I put a mild mute spell on you. This will make you speak less now get out of my shop!"
I smiled back too (i dont do this much ever) and i walked out of the shop as a calm melody plays. For some reason Tomoyo from Card Captors was there trying to get me to talk about the bear and I said "Its ok, i would rather keep walking" i felt serene and just kept walking, and i shortly woke up.
I hope to visit the shop again!
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what's the best official(/semi official) arjuna art
Oh thats a hard answer. Obviously in fgo the best is his card art bc it means you just pulled arjuna, congratulations. Taking this seriously though? Hmmm.....
well the BEST ever is definitely this one by pako but I'll put some more favs under the cut
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genuine smiling arjuna is always best arjuna
For solo arjuna pics I'm very partial to basically anything pako draws, like this tiny doodle of arjuna...i love the confident energy...its so cute
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or this frankly unfairly attractive arjuna with cigarette that he hid in an artbook.
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i might dislike smoking but....sir....please for the love of god i am but a mortal human
I also love this chibi festival arjuna that i belive was drawn for something regarding fate extella link. He's so proud of his fish :)
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I don't super love arjuna's offical extella link art BUT i love how he looks whenever wada puts out an artbook with him- i know theres one floating around tumblr of regular archer juna as well but i cant. find it right now LMAO
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like just LOOK at him he is so beautiful and gentle looking. i am crying as well. wada why couldnt his offical extella link art carry this energy
also if karna is allowed in I ALSO love this art of both of them like. the colors? the posing?? omg. also i just love the pattern on arjunas pashupata ball thingy
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super karna vs arjuna alter is also just incredible. regardless of whether or not you like lb4 this art is just outstandingly gorgeous.
also these group arts are great... just an entire team of clowns
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(pako)
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(redrop)
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(i think twitter handle starshadowmagic? google was NOT helpful lol)
EDIT: it’s namie, sorry
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE
a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem
this is for @what-a-creative-username​ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺
and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo
anon:
- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?
- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends
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OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH
so basically yea
as seen in a lot of the parts,
oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you
like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females
maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?
the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him 
yanno the works
yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him
ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?
hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that
so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him
like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you
he did it all
it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms
because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU
ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone
he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand
oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon
this brings us here in the gym today
‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’
‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’
the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side
‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’
he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him
god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh
so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him
‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’
you bargained but he gasped
‘what?! then what’s the point of-’
‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’
you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you
‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’
he was still fussy but he accepted it
oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?
they fall for boys who give them everything, right?
nope
so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that
idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho
his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food
‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’
he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you
‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’
im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two
oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened
he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier
your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up
but your shock morphed into being upset
‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’
but he waved you off with a smile
‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’
you rolled your eyes
‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’
he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough
‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’
he growled softly
wHAT iS hE sAYinG
you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity
‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’
you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes
‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’
you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop
‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’
he whispered and you blinked
‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’
he nodded eagerly
‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’
then he found himself in a bookstore with you
it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together
the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin
he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out
‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’
you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom
your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry
oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before
so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped
it was so,,, domestic 
seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book  on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words
it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?
the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked 
the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own
you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder
‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’
he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle
‘you read poetry?’
you whispered and oikawa chuckled
‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’
he reasoned and you laughed
‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’
‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’
you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck
‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’
oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip
‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’
he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest
‘so not fair oikawa-san’
you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles
‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’
he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter
‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’
you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:
‘but what a beautiful mess you are’
okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!
once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer
‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’
you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk
oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks
he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space
‘sure!’
the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above
however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position
‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’
he asked and you gave him an obvious look
‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’
your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him
you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before
except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it
you noticed it all
‘that right there, its the big dipper!’
you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding
‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’
he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you
‘really,, pretty’
you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you
‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’
this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes
‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’
he said and you nodded
you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created
‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’
you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic
so he covered it up with his own teasing 
‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’
you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks
‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’
you pouted and turned away
‘never mind’
oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks
the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt
and you loved every moment of it
after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted
it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning
yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??
you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you
whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could
the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door
or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out
‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’
you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand
‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’
you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room
tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this
he was happy
you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love
but,,,,,,,,,
it didnt last long
albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you
it was,,, awkward
maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato
forget potato, youre now a tomato
but even his touches and affections were now limited
restricted
like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning
but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly
‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’
oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym
god you felt like you were slapped in the face
you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly
was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?
usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you
no, you were just,,,,
overreacting
right?
yea, just,,,
overreacting
iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression
you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice
big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch
he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back
‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’
he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes
‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’
you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them
but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions
while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him
oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too
‘oi, what the hell did you do’
there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like
oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face
‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’
‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’
oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth
he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too
god hes so dumb
but he,,, was going through stuff right now
it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in 
and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house
okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(
it certainly brought him pain
this was what he wanted though, right?
he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls
but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings
oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh
initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet
this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you
and by god, he was so scared
he wanted to run away
because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person 
he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart
he didnt want that responsibility and burden
it was too risky
oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer
you would be the one hit with the blast the most
maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself
it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him
the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face
can you imagine the irony?
the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away
.......
practice was,,, suffocating? 
the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same
oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried
did you both fight?
what happened?
when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you
‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’
makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing
but they were surprised when he shrugged
‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’
if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen
you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,
‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’
that answer didnt bother you
it was his smile
the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you
now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls
what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm
they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you
you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles
he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym
you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky
‘the sky is very pretty today’
he complimented but it wasnt heard by you
you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face
‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’
he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds
you scrunched your nose and scoffed
‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’
you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers
mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above
‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’
it felt all muddled
there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand
‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’
he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy
‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’
you blanched
‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’
mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear
‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’
you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team
but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker
leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym
oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you, 
more specifically,
you
he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head
yes this was what it was supposed to be
you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile
he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault
no
he will stop that from happening way before it would occur
he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up
it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,
he wants you away from him
oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most
dear god was it laughable
after practice was finished,
you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there
these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts
if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,
it was not knowing why 
that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories 
did you chew too loudly when you ate?
were you boring and not as fun as the others?
was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?
has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?
that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear
throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you
but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there
you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace
but ofc 
hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face
quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears
you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops
‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’
he chuckled
you took a shaky breath and wiped your face
‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’
you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back
‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’
you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued
‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’
you nodded, laughing weakly
‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’
but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope
‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’
the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it
GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!
BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF
all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his-
‘y/n?’
you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you
kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look
‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’
kunimi started but kindaichi snapped
‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’
you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm
‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’
‘but clearly not because look at you!’
he shouted and you flinched 
kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor
‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’
he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion
was it obvious?
was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?
nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit
youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal
but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes
as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway, 
you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom
and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you
despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows
he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside
‘oikawa-senpai~~’
she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist 
your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact
through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead
please dont go to her
please
stay with me
dont go
but he went in anyways
------
that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore
as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now
everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage
you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it
there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most
you were easily led on
he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile
he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another
kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions
even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention
you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him
‘what’
he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern
‘uh-i-are you okay?’
he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways
‘never better’
you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit
your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing
‘whats wrong with all of you’
you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm
‘cmere. i missed you’
he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side
‘why-’
‘he told me what happened’
iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms
‘w-what?’
iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall
he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins
‘you-you are a piece of shit!’
he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes
‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’
iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor
oikawa was crying
not from the beating
but from his regrets
god he knew he messed up
he shouldnt have done it
but he did
iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa
‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’
he hissed 
oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest
‘im so scared’
he sobbed
‘im so scared, iwa-chan’
his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries
‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’
he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair
‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’
‘how could you tell she-’
‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’
even iwa flinched
‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’
there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?
‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’
his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration
‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’
he shrieked
thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown
‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’
iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest
oikawa tooru was having a panic attack
he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry
‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’
iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it
however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you
iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug
but he whispered something in your ear
‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’
you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about
he mustve known what happened but hes defending him
you clenched your jaw and looked away
‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’
you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes
you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities
you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself
but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip
your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second
‘what happened to you’
you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you
his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you
this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it
he missed hearing you
his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on
the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye
your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face
‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’
you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back
‘it was iwa-chan’
he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow
‘what? why did he-’
then you froze
iwa knew
and he beat oikawa up for it
he fought his best friend for it
and iwa didnt look fazed at all
despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising
yet why was he so clean
it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back
no
you must stop
youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before
however
oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand
‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’
he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now
the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach
‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’
he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear
oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door
it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation
it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment
‘i fcked up, y/n’
your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor
‘i messed up so bad’
he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath
‘oika-’
you made a move to turn around but he stopped you
‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’
he cried and you nodded
oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting
‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’
you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes
‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’
when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him
fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression
‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’
you seethed
your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry
‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’
you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking
his world was now falling apart
he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment
‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’
you whined and punched his shoulder at each word
‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’
you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms
it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck
‘im so sorry’
he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist
you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying 
after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping
‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’
he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter
‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’
and by god did he become selfish
it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him
YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY
natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it
‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’
he promised and you laughed
you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling
you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it
then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him
‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’
then graduation came
of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day
you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before
then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you
the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands
it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present
for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki
oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter
you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say
until you softly grabbed his hand
‘come in. i want,,, to talk’
you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out
it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known
right?
you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed
FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS
ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?
oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side
‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’
he asked
but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor
‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’
you finally met his eyes
then he knew
oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder
‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’
‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’
KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?
OKAY
-----
oikawa was running in the airport
despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside
the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside 
when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career
they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past
hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends
‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’
he joked and hinata laughed
‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’
the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you 
‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’
he mumbled and hinata nodded
‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’
the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid
‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’
then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar
‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’
oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment
there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan
he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full
but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself
it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were
iwaizumi
oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call
he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up
‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’
‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’
of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years
‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’
‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’
he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly 
how did he figure out
‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’
‘please! dont!’
he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him
‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’
‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’
oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone
iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart
poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much
‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’
but of course,
oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision
the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him
oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)
‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’
the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time 
the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on
what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated
would you let him in?
would you even want to see him?
would you punch him?
would you cry?
he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump
‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’
the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face
oikawa was stunned
was this the right apartment?
did iwaizumi trick him?
but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell
similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked
‘y-y/n? h-hey!’
he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there
you were hyperventilating inside
how did he find you?
why is he here?
does he know?
‘mama? who’s that oji?’
the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son
you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly
‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’
yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room
once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator
‘would you like some tea before you go?’
you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head
it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him
as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside
his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear
this was where you lived
with your son
who was his son too
there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier
it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes
jesus, he was beautiful
‘yozora. thats his name’
you said, noticing him staring at the picture
KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!
‘night sky’
oikawa whispered
the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you
‘n-nice place’
he stuttered out
you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup
‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’
you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive
‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’
‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’
he visibly flinched
calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing
‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’
you let out a humorless chuckle
a scoff
then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes
‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’
out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea
‘nothing’
you whispered
he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry
but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms
‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’
‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’
he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself
the dry laugh you let out made him fidget
‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’
you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him
you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back
but you still invited him in anyways
oikawa snapped his head up
‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’
‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’
‘but why did you keep him from me?’
he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why
‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’
‘mama?’
a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him
oikawa yozora was exactly like his father
from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes
KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!
he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son
um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me
so oikawa was right
yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you
yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away
sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child
but you kept him because he means the world to you
and the world he holds are in his eyes
‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’
he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you
his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw
if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs
he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level
‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’
he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him
‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’
yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms
‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’
your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on
you kept his last name
you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky
my god, you are so,,, 
‘--the book. oji? do you?’
he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder
tooru blinked and looked at him
‘huh?’
‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’
not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him
the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted
‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’
tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch
the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’
‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’
tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off
‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’
he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong
that book was oikawa’s
the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son
you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying
‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’
you fussed and sat down next to oikawa
yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room
GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON
‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’
yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa
‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’
he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer
‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’
you couldnt even believe what was going on right now
not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him
you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first
‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’
OKAY THAT WAS IT
YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA
out of shock, you slapped him across the face
causing yanno what happened
oikawa screamed
a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈
ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
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kaiisenn · 3 years
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Regular school Au
Noritoshi Kamo is a teacehrs pet, listening to everything the teachers say and following their every command. He was annoying to say the least, reminding the teachers of yesterday nights homework and asking "is that all?" When the class gets a little amount of homework.
"Woah! Y/n , nice one! " Yuji yelled out after your homerun after you returned back to home. You were apart of the joint baseball team in school, since a lot of kids didnt want to join they had to combine the girls team and the boys team. "Thanks Yu, I didnt want to get striked" Yuji nodding his head looks, he turns to look slightly behind you to see Noritoshi coming up to the two of you. "L/n, I have to speak to you for a moment!" Noritoshi speaks out with confidence "Hah? We're in the middle of a game right now." You say putting your hands on your hips "It's fine, Y/n you just batted so it will be awhile for you to bat again and I'll fill in for you on field!" Yuji spoke up giving you a thumbs up and a dumb smile "Thank you, Itadori. L/n if you would come with me." Noritoshi finalized leading you away from the baseball field
Away from the field behind the gym, you against the wall with your arms crossed against your chest and Noritoshi infront of you, he spoke up breaking the thick air between you two "L/n you barely passed your last test, the teacher is concerned for your future grade and wanted me to tutor you. I was thinking we cou-" putting your hand up stopping him from continuing on "Hold up, Hold up! I never asked for your help and I dont need some teachers pet feeling the need to help me just cause the teacher asked you to." You told him voice strict "L/n I dont understand your retaliation, this would benefit you and if your grades begin to slip you might have to resign from the baseball team. Why not give it a try?" Noristoshi asked head tilting to the side, making him look like a confused puppy "Fine" saying the f longer than needed to show your disinterest.
After finishing your game and walking home to freshen up, you shoot Noritoshi a text giving him your address for the study session 'cant believe he made me give him my number, how annoying'.
Hearing the doorbell ring 30 minutes after the text was sent, you walked to open the front door, pulling the door to you revealing Noritoshi in a nice button up with black dress pants "where were you going to?" You asked looking him up and down wondering why the boy was wearing such a formal outfit "I'm going to tutor you." He said as a fact "well so duh, but what's up with the get up?" You asked pointing at his attire, he begins to blush moving his head to look anywhere besides you "I thought I would make a gold first impression... as a tutor" he spoke rigidly "nah it's fine, you can come as bummy as you want. I dont really care, your probably gonna be uncomfortable in those clothes, wanna borrow one of mine?" You asked leading him up the stairs to your room "are you sure? Your clothes might not fit me and o wouldnt want to ruin your clothes" he asked "it's fine, besides o usually have all my house clothes be a lot bigger so it fits me longer. I'm sure something of mine has to fit" opening up y e ur drawer you got a large tshirt and shorts out for him throwing it to him and giving him directions to the nearest bathroom.
When he came back he looked a little uncomfortable mentally but in those clothes he seemed a lot more relaxed "See I knew something would fit you, I mean you are pretty skinny" you told him while looking through your book bag for a textbook , after he sat down next to you the two of you began your study session.
After awhile you three you head back onto the side of your bed and made a loud groaning noise "Arrgghh! This is so boring, cant we take a break? Watch a movie, play some games, eat something! I mean we've been at this for three hours straight.." Noritoshi turned to you brows furrowed "it is important to learn the topic and know it in and out but I suppose a break wouldnt hurt." He said closing the text book and putting the cap on his pen "Ah! Thank you so much Toshi!" You said jumping from your spot to give him a hug, after a couple of seconds you removed yourself from him to go get some snack from downstairs.
While you were gone, Noritoshi put his hand over his heart trying to suppress the loud pounding, wondering if you could hear the way his heart beat out his chest for you. For awhile now the raven haired boy liked you, he would always state at you from afar while you would play your games with your team, watching in astonishment as you would run back to home base with the confidence of a Queen. God how he loved your stubbornness, and your aggressiveness when you came up to someones bully to tell them off, but he also loved your soft side how you would shy away from embarrassment when you answer would be slightly off in math, he wanted to shield you from outsiders eyes and only keep that side of you for him. He loved every part of you, but he knew he would never get the chance to be close with you so when the teacher asked him if he could tutor you, he jumped on the opportunity without hesitation.
"Hey Toshi, I'm not sure what you would like so I made some popcorn and got a couple of snacks and candies for us to eat. Also I brought some games up, I got Mario Cart, COD, Minecraft, and a couple of others in my back pocket" you informed putting all the snacks on the small coffee table you had in your room "Which one do you wanna play" you asked holding up the different games to his face like a fortune teller telling their client to pick a card "I'll try Mario Cart" he answered "Good choice!" You put the disk in and waiting for the game to load you got the rest set up giving him a controller and popping a swedish fish into your mouth.
"Booyah! You just got yoshi'd, toshi! That's 3 for me and 0 for you my friend." You teased elbowing his side "Why dont we make a bet, whoever's wins has to do what the other person wants" you offered him, Noritoshi lighting up at your offer nodded his head and got serious changing his character to princess peach.
After a long and grueling round, Noritoshi was pronounced the winner "Alright you got lucky that round but ne-" you were suddenly shut off by Noritoshis lips colliding with yours! After getting over the initial shock you began kissing back putting the controller down and wrapping your arms around his neck tangling your hands into the hair at the base of his neck. The kiss began to get more heated with Noritoshi pushing you down to the floor and asking for permission into your mouth, with new found access he got to work exploring your mouth with his tongue. But all good things must come to an end when you couldnt breathe you tapped his shoulder twice and he hesitantly pulled away from your lips. "W-Wow, I didnt think you would be so straight foward" you huffed out trying to catch your breath "god I've been wanting to do that forever" he revealed dropping his head to make home in the crook of your neck "is this a confession I smell?" You teased stroking the back of his head with your right hand while your left was drawing shaped onto his back. "God Y/n you have no idea how obsessed I am with you. Everything you do has me going crazy" he breathed out "I could kinda tell, you would always stare at me from across the classroom. Although I also have a crush on you, I didnt think I would have a chance i mean you're so nice, gentle and caring and even though you kinda annoy me when you remind the teacher of homework I could never be mad at you. You're too cute to ever be mad at, like a otter or a big cuddly dog." You laugh kissing his neck
"You mean it? You really like me too?" He asked pulling his head away from your neck "Of course I do" you say bringing his face closer to yours for another kiss, after awhile you two broke away not getting too far from each other though "Wanna make a bet? Who ever wins gets to choose where we go for our next date." You spoke against his lips slightly kissing the bottom "You're gonna lose then dear" he said quickly getting up to grab his controller "No, you're gonna lose!"
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Omfg I'm so in love with him ahh Noeitoshi supremacy!!!
-Kaii
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sludgeb0mb · 3 years
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So, lambert and keira mommy kink?
Its not like lambert doesnt know hes got some hangups, ok? Hell, after everything hed been through its amazing hes only got a few. But fuck if this wasnt the worst one.
Keira knew, almost right from the start, that lambert was missing a sort of guidance. He could have a focused, strategic mind when he was calm, but other times he would lash out like a child. Keiras heart hurt for him, as a sorceress she knew all to well the pain of losing ones childhood.
Lambert had known a lovers touch, but needed the nurturing of one as well. She had been nervous at first, not wanting to be tied down by some man-child, but he wasnt anything like that. He deferred to her at any opportunity and encouraged her to do as she will. It was still in lamberts usual way, a dismissive noise when she suggested he fetch her something, but then returning with it before sundown. The way his golden eyes would shine when she praised him won her over, in the end. He was just too darling to resist.
He was useful. And sweet. And funny. And it was just natural for keira to lean in to her need to care for him, to fill the holes in his heart as best she could.
"Will you be a good boy for me?" Her cock--a soft polished wood with a metal core, was slick against him. The runes carved into the metal inside allowed keira to feel it as intensely as if it were her clit rubbing against him. Lambert whimpered below her, arching his back more to get closer to her cock while nodding into the pillow in front of him.
"I'm being good, Mommy. Please,"
She tutted, Lambert had so little patience, he was always begging for it when theyd only just started. She cant blame him, he was missing this so badly, and the heat pooling in her belly responded to that neediness.
"Okay baby, but remember we go at my pace. You dont ask for more than I give. Isnt that right, sweet?" Her thumb pushed down on the base of her cock, directing it toward his loosened hole, tip circling the rim in a way that had him tense with the urge not to push back even more.
"Yes, please mommy I wont be greedy, I promise." His voice sounded watery, as if he was going to cry already. Keira wouldnt be swayed by his tears, though. She knew when to be firm with her boy.
Keira pushed into him, just enough to allow the head of her cock to get past his rim, sighing as the magic of the toy allowed her to feel the heat of him. Lambert didnt bother holding back his moan, too focused on trying to be good and still for keira. He was whining deliciously, and as keira slid further into him it became drawn out, his voice fraying as she reached the hilt.
"Thank you, thank you," he was babbling into the pillow he was holding on to, whole body shaking with unspent energy while he waited for his mommy to fuck him. Instead, keira ground her hips against his ass, feeling the way his fur tickled her sensitive skin. Lambert was so masculine, all rippling muscles and dense, dark body hair, but when he was like this he was just her boy. Sweet and gentle and ready for her whenever she wanted.
She fucked him at a maddeningly slow pace, small thrusts that rubbed her cock over his prostate constantly while she held his hips in place. Lambert was leaking precome all over the sheets, but keira had already planned on washing them. Each slow drag felt like heaven for her, she didnt have to worry about shooting off or going soft after coming, so she could take her own pleasure at the slow build she preferred, though she knew her boy wanted more. He was sweating with the effort of it, and she leaned over his back to run a hand through his hair, causing her cock to be as deep inside him as possible. Lambert shuddered as her nails ran against his scalp, fresh tears springing to his eyes from the frustration of too-slow pleasure and her gentle touch. Her tits were pressed against him, the feeling of them so foreign with the feeling of a cock inside him. He felt cared for, but also like he was being forced to endure a punishment, and it was too much. He began crying in ernest, trying his best not to writhe on her cock even has his hole tightened around it.
"Whats wrong, baby? I thought you wanted whatever mommy gave you." Her voice was sickly sweet, unable to refrain from mocking him just a little so she could watch him cry harder. She could feel the way he tightened on her cock, trying to get more pleasure from the slow fucking.
"I-I do mommy, but," he sniffled, trying to gain composure. That wouldnt do, keira thought, and she slammed into him exactly once, her hand in his hair balling into a fist. He practically screamed, hiccuping as he tried to breathe through his sobs.
"But what, baby? If you dont like it, mommy can get you a nice plug to sit on." She wouldnt, of course, the hot clutch of him was too good to pull out. but his reaction was worth it, a hand flying up to cover the one in his hair, holding it there.
"No, no! I like it mommy, I do! Please dont stop." The poor thing sounded absolutely miserable, but she reached down to pat his cheek affectionately, making him relax a bit.
"There you go. I know whats best for you, dont you forget." He shook his head, kissing into her palm with reverence. It was a heady feeling, to have such a fierce, independent warrior reduced to this on the end of her cock, one that keira didnt see herself giving up any time soon.
She resumed the torturously slow grind of herself into him, feeling her own muscles twitch and clench as her pleasure built. She reached down around lambert, her hand ignoring his cock completely to stroke and fondle his balls. They were incredibly tight, had been drawing up since she entered him, and she loved the weight of them in her palm. Lambert gave a low moan like a man in pain, and she could feel the slick of his pre smear across her wrist. Fuck, she was getting close herself.
Nimble fingers stroked the smooth skin behind his sac, pressing as she bore down onto his prostate. Lambert jolted, his body uncomfortably hot as he endured her touch.
"Mommy, please, Im close." Lambert could barely get the words out between his tears, and keira barely bit back her moan in time. She removed her hand, giving a light slap to the head of his cock and enjoying the startled noise that came out of him.
"Didn't you promise not to be greedy? If youre a good boy and make mommy come, then Ill let you. If youre bad and you cant stop being greedy, then you get nothing. Will you be good and make mommy come?" Lambert was crying so hard he couldnt respond, but nodded. She stroked her hands soothingly down his back and sides, waiting for him to catch his breath.
"Thats my good boy, there you are. I know its hard, but you are doing so well for mommy. Here, im going to get ready for you." Keira pulled back, sliding out of lambert and making him gasp at the loss, his cute hole clenching around nothing. She reclined onto the bed, supported by a few of the many pillows they had amassed. Lambert dutifully held his position, though the shaking of his body told her that it was killing him.
"Come here, darling." She called to him, managing not to look surprised at the speed in which he turned to face her, crawling up her body and placing sloppy, desperate kisses wherever he could reach. She guided him until he was positioned over her cock, looking at her with red, puffy eyes and wet lashes. Her stunning little boy.
"Go ahead baby, remember that this isnt for you until after mommy gets to come." He nodded, lowering himself onto her cock so fast that he winced, but gave himself no time to adjust as he fucked himself on it. She pulled his hands forward to grab her tits, holding onto them with his thumbs pinching her nipples against the lower knuckle of his index finger. She smiled at him, watching him shakily try to return it as he used himself to get her off.
And gods, it was working. The magic of her toy allowing her to feel every movement, her pleasure had been building and now it was ready to crest, and her gorgeous boy working hard for her sped it along. His cock was nearly purple, bouncing with the rest of him and totally untouched. His balls looked close to bursting with how tight they were, and she knew he was so close he must be teetering on the edge but was holding back because she had told him to.
It only took a moment more until keira was coming, hips snapping harshly up into lambert as she did, the bedding below them soaked with her slick as her cunt clenched around nothing. She fucked into him a few times, riding out her high as lambert panted and whined above her. His favorite thing in the world was to please her, but watching her fall apart while he had to wait was a unique form of suffering. Keira knew this, and waited until the last of her aftershocks had faded before running her hands along his furry thighs, feeling them twitch and strain under her touch.
"Good boy, you did so good helping mommy come. Do you want your turn now?" He nodded furiously, but didnt move. She hadnt told him to.
"Go ahead baby, you deserve it. Let me feel you come on my cock." Lambert shed more tears, this time in relief as he fucked himself onto her for his own pleasure. Keira was a bit oversensitive, but hardly had to endure it as lambert came across her stomach without ever touching his cock, fully seated on her and grinding the head of her toy in the perfect spot. He managed to moan out a "thank you, mommy," as he shuddered and came, but it was barely intelligible.
Anytime they fucked like this, lambert was asleep almost the moment his head hit the pillow, barely able to clean himself up as he drifted off. That was fine, he had worked so hard to listen to her that keira didnt mind. She kissed his temple before getting up to remove and clean her toy. When she crawled back into bed, lambert was cuddling close to her, making her feel dwarfed by his size as he wrapped his big hands around her waist. She carded her own through his messy hair.
"Did you like that, baby? I wasnt too mean to you, was I?" He sleepily shook his head, nuzzling against her neck.
"No mommy, s'good. Thank you." Keira smiled to herself, feeling boneless and sated and stupidly enamored with her boy.
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sadwsocc · 4 years
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Insecurities & Flowers [Kozume Kenma x reader]
Warnings: kinda pessimistic reader
Genre: fluff (hopefully)
Word count: 3,042 words
A/n: stop writing at midnight, socc pls. And also in all honestly I do not remember a single thing I wrote here so uh,,,, enjoy
It was Valentine’s Day, the one day you always found annoying and why so one would ask? It was the day where everyone in your friend group —you excluded— would get confessions from guys around school; while you on the other hand, got none. You never really minded it though, love wasn’t something that would come across your mind often, but when the pity glances you get from your friends quadruple on valentines, you were bound to get annoyed.
While you never got any chocolates, you made them, for yourself and your friends. It was somewhat of a ritual for you all, everyone making a batch for each other, added with cute notes about how thankful you all were to have each other, it was sweet and you liked them very much. You even decided that this year, you would one up your little presents. You spent hours after school sitting on your study desk cutting out cards and drawing on them, adding on long notes of gratitude and such until the dead of night.
Giving it all out to your friends, they all smiled and thanked you, even going as far as to hug you while you stand there awkwardly and chuckled it off. After the exchange of gifts, you all in all had gotten a handful of sweets and chocolates and even a few small folded up notes.
You were that one person all somewhat popular friend groups would have, like a supporting role and it sometimes made you feel down about it but the overwhelming love and support they’d give you was surprisingly nice. They’d accepted you for who you were, even if you were the most pessimistic person on earth. You were glad to be blessed with such amazing—and attractive— people.
The bell rang, signalling it was time for class to start so you went back to your seat, keeping all your gifts underneath your desk. Beside you was a dude you somewhat knew, still playing on his PSP. You kind of knew him since the two of you had been classmates since your first year of high school yet you never really spoke to him that much, maybe the occasional “can i borrow your pencil?” and “what homework did we have?”
Kozume Kenma
A guy that you didn’t really understand, even for you, a quiet and somewhat reserved person who’s quite observant—might you add. He had long black hair during your first year but when the next spring came along, he had decided to dye it straight up blond. You didn’t understand why, he didn’t seem the type to do so and it didn’t help the fact that always distracted you, making you keep stealing glances at his very very blond head. He was intriguing somehow. Every morning before class, he would either be playing a game on his PSP or be slumping on his seat taking a short nap or at times a guy with incredible bed hair would come and chat with him, sitting on your seat as he spoke since you would usually be sitting somewhere else (that somewhere else was at the very front of the class where all your friends would group together and sit next to each other sharing seats and chatting up while you stare off blankly, occasionally snapping back to reality and join in on the conversation).
Sitting in your seat, you looked around your class before he teacher came in and boy, were there a lot of confessing happening. Everywhere you look, there would be someone either confessing to someone or someone mentally preparing themselves, everywhere except to your left —your peaceful classmate, playing his game quietly.
Lunch time was one would say,, wild. It was the perfect time for guys and girls alike to confess, reject and accept someone. You had announced to your friends prior that day that you would want to spend lunch alone as you knew that would be swarmed with confession and gifts, they understood of course that you only mean well and so they fully accepted it. While waiting for almost everyone in your class to leave, you saw that Kenma was still next to you sitting there as well. You gave him a friendly wave, asking, “waiting for the crowd to die down?”
With a nod as a reply you chuckled softly in agreement, finally taking out your bento that your mom had packed for you this morning. It was a simple lunch, as always, only today the rice was shaped like a heart, reminding you that it was not only made with love but it was Valentine’s Day.
“Aren’t you going with your friends? They’re leaving over there.” You turned your head to face Kenma and widened your eyes in semi shock from him actually starting a conversation with you. Brushing it off with a light laugh, you shook your head, “Nah, they get busy on days like these... since, yknow they’re like popular and all” you said the last part awkwardly and internally cringed at how you worded it.
“Oh” was all he replied with, not a second later his friend came in and walked towards the two of you. You stared at him for awhile and back to Kenma and stood up, about to take your leave. He stood up the same time as you did when his friend faced him and said, “You know Kenma, today’s-“ he realised that Kenma wasn’t listening when Kenmas turned to you and offered to spend lunch with him and his friend— which he later introduced as Kuroo
Hesitantly, you accepted. All the while you were walking with them to the rooftop, Kuroo was giving Kenma odd looks and constantly elbowing which you brushed off, since you didn’t really bother nor did it affect you in any way shape or form.
Lunch with the two of them was somewhat fun, you found out a bit more about Kenma and Kuroo from Kuroo (like Kuroo and Kuroo only, Kenma was busy playing with his game (or distracting himself haha)) Turns out, Kenma was in the volleyball club and to your surprise, team. You were shocked to find that out as you really really really didn’t take him as someone who’d let alone run a mile.
You and Kuroo’s conversation somehow led to Valentine’s Day and he even openly confessed that he had a crush on one of your friends, Megumi. He told you that he was planning on giving her chocolates after school and somewhere along the lines did it hit you. Eyes widen as realisation it, “oH wait are you the captain of the volleyball club?” You asked, with a confused nod from Kuroo you continued, “OH MY G O D,, WAIT IS THIS WHY MEGUMI ALWAYS WANTED TO DRAG US ALONG TO OUR SCHOOLS VOLLEYBALL MATCHES? SHE LITERALLY ONCED SAID SHE WOULD GO ONLY TO SEE THE CAPTAIN OF THE TEAM WHEN I ASKED HER!!”
That earned a dry choke and chuckle from Kenma beside him and a furiously blushing Kuroo. You held out your hands and held his with stars in your eyes as you announced how glad you are that Megumis crush not only liked her back but is also not as creepy as you thought he would be.
“You thought i was creepy?” Kuroo asked, confused.
You opened your mouth, only for Kenma to answer before you, “with that hair of yours, who wouldn’t?”. You chuckled at that.
The bell rang, signalling lunch was over as you stood up and waved off to Kuroo wishing him luck on the confession after school. He thanked you and turned to Kenma, “So, shes the girl you liked huh?”
Going back to class, you went over to the front of the class where all your friends were cooped up in. Inserting yourself, you saw the pile of cards and chocolates on Megumis desk (they all put it on her desk for convenience), you stared in awe with the amount of things there were and faced each and every one of them, congratulating them about the fact that they’d manage to steal the hearts of many many school boys. Everyone chuckled at you light hearted jokes, even offering you some of the chocolates —which you gladly accepted.
“So are y’all planing to accept any of them or-?”
Most of their answers were that they were going to consider whereas Megumi just frowned and shook her head. This earned the attention of not only you but also the others as each and everyone of you bombarded her with the same question “why?”
“You guys know I like,,, him,,, yknow?” Everyone nodded as Megumi sighed.
The teacher then came in and class continued on. Yet somehow you couldn’t focus during class, you were fine before lunch but all of a sudden, you just couldn’t focus on the damn subject, at first you thought that maybe you were tired but even after a few slaps on your cheeks, you were still out of it. Maybe it was the thought that everyone had gotten some type of confession except for you, but no, it couldn’t be, it never mattered to you all these years so why now out of the blue?
Awhile passed and you found yourself staring at the pudding head next to you. When you realised what you were doing, you tried to shift your focus back on the teacher in front. But even still, you would find yourself unconsciously turning to Kenma and just staring at him. Oh god, you hoped you didn’t freak him out.
Kenma felt holes burning on his side and he knew it was you, he didn’t know why though. Did you hate him after today? He hoped not. Finally, he turned to you and caught you quickly shifting your focus back on the black board in front, what he was a truly a surprise to him. We’re you,,,,, blushing? Surely not,,,, right?
You were.
Oh god, he caught you staring, would he think you were a creep? God! YOU COULDNT BELIEVE YOURSELF. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD SOMEONE JUST STARE AT SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THAT? He must’ve hated you for that, I mean who wouldn’t?!
Your palm went up to your cheeks and you felt the warmth on them, they were warmer than they should be,, were you sick? You hoped you were sick, other wise why would you even be mindlessly staring at your classmate and going red when they caught you staring? You truly wanted to believe you were just sick but deep down you knew it was the simple case of developing feelings.
The way he’d act in class and the little smiles he gave whenever he’d talk to Kuroo plagued your mind. What were they talking about? Why was his very being suddenly all you could think about? You realised that maybe you always had these feelings but just that you were too thick to realise. You were right.
School finally ended and you were glad you could escape from your thoughts for once, meeting up with Megumi as the others in your friend group had to catch he train home while Megumi and you walked home.
Whilst waiting for Megumi to pack up her stuff, you saw Kuroo at the front of your class. Megumi froze when she saw him, you could visibly see the blush forming on her as you waved at Kuroo. Megumi turned her back towards him and whisper-shouted to you, “you know him?!”
You nodded to her as Kuroo flashed a smile at you. His focus went back on Kenma, who by time had finished packing and was walking toward the exit. When Kenma was finally next to Kuroo, he faced his attention to you and waved goodbye to you. It was then your turn to blush —wHY WERE YOU BLUSHING? NEVER IN YOUR LIFE HAD YOU THOUGHT THIS CLICHE WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU. You waved back at him and said your farewells, except for the fact that they didn’t seem to be moving— more accurately, Kuroo wasn’t moving so Kenma awkwardly waited beside him like an NPC.
Kuroo finally spoke out in an uncertain tone “uh,, I’d like to speak to Megumi,”
“Y-yes!” Your friend turned around only to see Kuroo with his hand stretched out, holding a Valentine’s confession card and a stalk of rose.
Megumi instantly understood what it was and started blushing furiously, so furious that it made your blush look like it was nothing. Kuroo on the other hand felt embarrassed and was hiding behind his unruly bedhead. There were no words exchanged yet everyone (the four of you) knew that Kuroo’s confession had been accepted. You couldn’t help but feel glad for your friends.
And that was how Megumi and Kuroo both ended up with their crush. And that day the four of you walked back home together, with the two newly lovebirds walking next to each other —so close that their knuckles kept brushing— like those cheesy scenes in a slice of life anime you’d watch at 2 in the morning; all the while you and Kenma silently third wheeled them.
Your house was the one nearest to school, so you were the first to part from them. You said your goodbyes and went inside. Closing the door behind you, you frowned, pessimistic thoughts suddenly devoured you like somehow the whole interaction between Megumi and Kuroo made you think how truly lonely you were and the realisation that you might have a crush on Kenma was like salt to the wounds.
You were so utterly confused with these emotions and the only way you knew how to cope with was to push them aside, trying not to let these odd and somewhat insecure thoughts at you up anymore than they should.
Going to bed that night felt odd, you couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning. You weren’t even sure why you couldn’t sleep at that point, between overthinking about your friendship with your friends and then to whatever there was of you love life, to your somewhat friendship with Kenma, then to your crush —if you could even call it a crush— on him. Needless to say you were much more sleep deprived the next day to school than you were normally.
Kenma on the other hand, didn’t really sleep either, normally he would be up trying to beat a boss to a pass a level in his game but that night he was up thinking about nothing but you. He remembered something that Kuroo said earlier about how he figured out who his crush was and thought about how he lost the chance to confess to you on Valentine’s. He sighed and sat up from his bed, staring at the small bouquet of flowers Kuroo had bought for Kenma to confess to you when they passed a florist a few days prior and then to the card next to it, one that simply had the words “I like you. -Kenma” on it.
He didn’t know if you liked him back or not but seeing you somewhat gloomy after school made him want to cheer you up somehow. And that somehow was to confess to you, Megumi did mention something about how she realised that you might have a crush on him after you went home first. Kenma blushed at that asking how she was so sure about that and Megumis reply was “I’ve known her longer than anyone and I’d know some things even she might’ve not found out about herself yet.”
So basing off a hunch from one of your best friends, Kenma decided that maybe he would confess to you the next day.
——
They day after Valentines was the day we’re youd see a lot of newly blossomed love and to say you weren’t a bit envious was an utter lie. Walking in class, you decided you take a short nap before class started, ignoring your friend group as you walked it. It was something you’d do sometimes, they could see the exhaustion from your posture thus leaving you alone and you were so thankful to have such understanding people around you.
You were woken up by a light tap on the back by Kenma and you instantly jolted up, whatever exhaustion you had was gone. Why was he waking you up? What did you do?
Midway into panicking you saw him fumble around his bag and took out a card. You stared up at him with your eyebrows scrunched, then accepting the card from his hands. Freshly woken up you —even on high alert— didn’t realise that after you had accepted the card, he went back to his bag and awkwardly took out a small bouquet of flowers. You stared at the card and read the contents. Finally processing it in you system, you started to get red and looked up from the card and was greeted by an also red Kenma holding out flowers.
You were so glad that no ones attention was towards the two of you and that the teacher still hasn’t came in class. You accepted the flowers too and finally spoke out, “ Kenma, I- I’m”
You were so happy and yet quite surprised you stared fumbling out your words, “I- you.. YES. I mean,, Kenma, I like you too and-“ you realised words couldn’t explain how you were feeling so you put down the flowers and card on your desk and stood up, inching closer to him and held up with hands, you felt like you were going to cry out with joy —and you did. Kenma instantly understood your reply and never in his life had he felt so relieved and happy, a small smile tugging at the side of his lips as he looked at you and your blushing, even sobbing, mess.
You let go of his hands and went to wipe the tears on your cheeks with your sleeve as he went back down to sit on his chair beside you.Your awkward tears had finally been wiped away just in time for class to start.
After school, you, Kenma, Megumi and Kuroo decides to walk home together again. Only this time, no one was third wheeling anyone.
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mmangaboi · 3 years
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SORRY IVE BEEN INACTIVE SHIT’S BEEN HAPPENING
i know i’ve been doing reblogs and crap, but i kinda dont count those as actual posts because they were made by other people. BUT!! I have still been doing art, just not posting it. so im doing that now. i have a couple more pieces that are done but i havent put a signature on and im just scared theyll get stolen so ill post them when i add that. ok here we go explanations for the drawings above.
ok so the first one is of one of my fursonas, Mango. basically the story is that they are trans, mtf. the drawing above is them painting purplish/pink markings to celebrate their full transition. idk what the logistics of paint staying on fur after a sustained period are, just dont question it. in case youre wondering, she’s a bunny.
second drawing is of another oc, this time a goat deity named Eactle (pronounced Ektl). ok so he was actually designed by an irl friend of mine, but based off things ive done. his name comes from a spelling mistake i made when messaging said friend through teams online. i was super dead at the time and meant to say ‘exactly’ but i was super tired and it just kinda came out as ‘eactle’. the whole thing with him being a goat is also based off a series of notes/drawings me and my friend exchanged in class to amuse ourselves. the general storyline was that there was an immortal goat facing off against some omnipotent person/god/thing, and just them trying to kill each other and failing every time. basically the only part that matters is that the character i drew was a goat, so thats where that part of eactle comes from. aside from that, his design is just kinda random. either that or i dont know because i couldnt be bothered to ask about the clothes. he’s the god of crops and such, but being who he is he’s also a major trickster. dont let that cute smile trick ya, he’ll have taken your credit card and wallet before you can blink.  uhhhhhh ill make a post with ALL the lore surrounding him at a later date, a lot of stuff is still in the grey area and also my friend wants to make a bunch more lore than we already have.
sorry this got long but idk things just happen i guess. promise ill have more art soon, idfk stay determined peeps.
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rebelliouslala · 4 years
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Jung Hoseok
You were so fucking late my guy lmao
you’re in your second year
late to your first day
even tho u JUST transferred
u slept in, you were so exhausted from unpacking
That as you were skateboarding
yes ur that quirky hehe
You crashed in a crowd of students, and heard a loud scream
You look up to a man in baggy clothes, and with a skateboard wheel mark on his face, he pouts
“HEY-?”
“I’m so sorry! It’s my first day!” you look around, sighing and grabbing out your animation card, before running to math class, “just call me and I’ll pay!”
So you finally made it to animation class
luckily it’s just drawing the first thing you ever drew
Yes this is why u take art
it’s easy
so u draw and draw and draw and draw and draw and draw and
Then, as you left
You’re grabbed by the shirt behind the building
u scream and take out your mace before the person lets go
“Ah ah ah ah okay! Sorry, i just, wanted to say im okay now”
the boy from earlier has his face a little moist, the tips of his teddy brown hair dripping wet
“My name is hobi”
“oh, mine is y/n, nice to meet you, and again, sorry”
“Ah, dont be, actually you should say sorry to my tip hat, i was dancing for money”
you look at him in awe, “dance?”
he nods, and he quickly spins before landing on his knee and one leg splayed out
you widen your eyes and clap, “w-wow. . .you’re. . .good”
he smiles and chuckles, “yeah, thanks, so, about that favor”
“You better not be a fucking-,” you grab for your mace again
“what? OH! N-No! no, i wouldnt do that. just, well, i was wondering if you could help me”
you lower your guard only slightly, “for what?”
He smiles, “i wanna shoot a music video, but it’s kind of hard because i want a characters, I saw your website, you do animation! So, can you help me out?”
So eventually he gives you his number, and to him yours
Thats when usually you did some stalking
He’s all around a great fella
yes i fucking said that
he dances, plays tennis and is one of their best players in, quiet possibly the whole country?
he’s in the top five
he helps out charity, he’s part of a frat, even raps sometimes for slams at this cafe?
yes u visited
But u kinda didnt like it
You did see his thing though, and snapped
it was good, but you much preferred him dancing, he seemed much more energtic
you go to him to the mv shoot
Holy fuck
He has wavy, light brown hair that shapes around his forehead in the shape of a heart, and a bright smile
Obviously he’s been drinking sprite
He has loose, green tie-dyed fashion pants
And a flower embroidered shirt that was half tucked in
he has brown sunglasses
Wow so handsome~
u gulp and he gently bounces
“well?!”
“Well, i think you look good, hobi”
He INSISTED you call him by his nickname
“Thanks! So, what do you think for the concept?”
“I think. . .i can do flowers, we are, i guess, in like a forest setting? What do you want?”
He looks at your eyes finally “sorry i did the thing where i zone out--”
“hobi. what do u want for ur mv”
“idk, i think whatever u think is good :)”
U pout because goddamn he’s cute
So u say fuck it and nod
You watch him dance
Around
Im not saying on im saying fucking
AROUND
Flowers
Barely brushing past them
Until at the last part of the video, where he “rises from he dead off the ground”
he lays back, and uses his core to bring him up all the way to his feet
On his human elevator ride up, he picks up a pretty piece of calandiva nearby him
And putting it near his jawline; he softly pants
yet smiles oh so sweetly at the camera
Okay that was kind hot
You leave a little quickly
and u cant get ur mind off of how
ADORABLE
his pout was
and just how talented he is????????
you’ve never been this whipped for a boy
especially since u dont rly trust men
U pull maybe two all nighters
With a small nap in between the days
dont do this or i will eat u okay
So ur like barely alive the next time you see him, and you sigh softly
“ok. . .done”
You go to his studio in his frat
which is just filled with stuffies
fluffly ones
and miniature collectible toys
You sit on the couch, resting your eyes as he watches
u drew a little horse characters besides him, dancing as well
whenever he smiled, the horse did too and did a flip, more intricate and detailed flowers popping out
At the end, the horse gently shrunk, and ran up to Hobi and kisses his cheek, and once he smiles
The horse fainted onto the flower, hearts fluttering over her
Just overall big uwu
and he couldnt believe how amazing it looked, especially in under
t w o d a y s
“y/n. . .i cannot thank you enough you really-,”
hoseok looked over to you
asleep
after maybe a nice 14 minute nap, you wake up to a small bounce of your body
and there is hobi
you in his huge, and very soft green hoodie
and your body very heavy in his arms, yet he still carried you all across campus back
back home
“hobi?”
you rub your eyes, pouting slightly
trying to see if this was a dream to the one of you doing flips with hoseok
and yes
yes he uwued
“Yeah? He asked quietly, gently sitting on a bench to collect yourself
and that he also wanted to see how cute you are waking up
“W-what did you think?”
“I thought it was wonderful, and how you did it in only two days? You’re so talented.”
“Mm. . .” you say quietly, exhaustion still covering you like a blanket
Hoseok chuckles and kisses your head, letting your eyes flutter
“ur so nice. . .hobi. . .i-i cant believe someone. . .a-as pretty as you. . .” your voice drifts off as you knock out
“I like u too, y/n” he only responds, letting you fall right back into his lap and stroking your hair
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pbandjesse · 4 years
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Jess is here!!! I am so happy she got here safe and sound. And she came so much earlier then usual so we have already had basically an entire day together. Its great. I feel so good about it. 
Today really has been excellent. I slept pretty well last night. It took me forever to actually fall asleep but once I was I slept really good. I woke up around 8 because Jess was texting me she got to the bus station okay. And soon she was on her way here for real. She said it was so empty and only a couple people where even on the bus. Neat. Lots of space to breath. I lounged a bit. But eventually I got up and got myself dressed. I look a bit bundled and silly in my picture but I felt really cute today. Very soft. I didnt love my makeup as much as yesterday but that was okay. 
I had a nice morning. James made scones and they were sightly dry but really delicious. Orange and cranberry. The best. I worked on some of my tarot drawings and it was just really nice. He was anxious about being late to get Jess because we had to make a couple stops before going to the bus station. So he made us leave over an hour early. Such a silly boy. But it was all fine. I wasnt worried. As we left we ran into Mr Will and we gave him a scone and our old vacuum. No more need to take it to goodwill, poor Mr Will has been cleaning the halls with a broom. We hope this makes things easier on him. It was a beautiful day out. 
First stop we made was to go to the post office. Mail a furby and get my passport application. We are going to the passport event next saturday so it will be good to have the form all filled out and ready to go. James wanted me to come in because every time he ships a furby they scold him for the size of the package. It needs to be bigger. But she didnt scold me at all. HAH! I win. I will make an effort to make the paper portion larger so they can fit the labels on like they need to.We took a long drive and stopped for gas. And then we were at the bus station. 
And Jess was soon there too!! I was so happy to see her. And we had such a nice day. First we were all starving so we went to Red Emmas for lunch. For was excellent because its always excellent. Something me and Jess always do is split food. So we got a salad and a burger and cut them both in half and it was great. Its one of my favorite ways to eat and me and her do it very well. 
We all went back to the apartment to make a pit stop and drop off James. And Jess gave me an early birthday present. She got us matching sweatshirts that were going to wear tomorrow and Im so excited because I had shown her these sweatshirts a while ago and made a joke about how we could match but I didnt buy them and then she did!! I am so pleased. What a nice gift. 
Me and her headed out and went to Amazing Glaze to paint pottery. It was so nice. It took a while for Jess to pick what she wanted to paint. But I knew what I was getting right away. My plan was to paint 2 rectangle plates to look like playing cards. I really wanted it to look like blue china and Jess helped me pick the best color to do that. She ended up picking a really pretty tray and doing this beautiful series of moon phases with faces. Its going to look so nice when its fired. We were there for a few hours drawing and painting. This was for sure my most draw heavy one. Not that I havent done a lot of drawing ones but this one took a lot of reference images and was very hard!! But Im really excited to see how they come out. 
We left there and headed back home. I had a lot of trouble parking. But that was fine. Jess helped me. We had nachos as a snack. And watched some dumb videos. And soon it was time to get ready to go to dinner with James family. We got to their house and it was like Christmas part 4 because there were Christmas cookies and gifts and it was nice! I got a glass bottle of coke with my name on it! Spelled right even! And Margot gave me a really neat necklace that has a mini embroidery hoop on it. Its really cute and so thoughtful!
We all headed over the restaurant and it was very busy. The parking lot included. Which is also a really weird shape. And James accidentally scraped a car. And of course the owners saw it and he got all flustered because he couldnt find our insurance card. I had to be very level headed and find it and calm him down. James ended up knowing them and its going to be fine. They gave him hugs even.  
But the food was really good and I had a really fun time talking to Jess and James and a little to his sister. The food was just excellent though and I had such a nice time. We tried so many things and it was all so well made. Expensive and well made. It was a really nice and I had a really goof time. But we were all getting tired. 
So we got home and got changed. And me and Jess stretched and did some yoga and now were playing Animal Crossing together. Its really nice to have someone to play next to. We are figuring out how to share money in the game to try to level her up! Well see how that goes. Its supposed to snow tomorrow. Well see how that goes. We are supposed to have a thrifting day and then go ice skating. So I hope that isnt derailed much. But no matter what Im just going to be happy she is here. I hope you all have a really nice night. Stay warm.
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jasondean · 6 years
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i'm sending you the first thing i thought of when i tried to think of an ask to send you. so. here's this cursed thing. heathersstuck.
ohhh my god okay first of all im gonna preemptively apologize for how long this is about to be. 
another disclaimer that this is all gonna be based on my knowledge of the alternia that we see in homestuck itself because i havent gotten super into hiveswap yet. and, as we all know, any good homestuck au is one where the contending canon is thrust into the homestuck universe as opposed to the other way around. so im gonna spare everyone the painful ideation of plucking a small handful from the VAST homestuck cast just to put them into the plot of heathers
im ALSO gonna preface that im thinking about the heathers film while writing this, not the musical. and im not gonna go into anything regarding martha, betty, kurt, or ram because i think focusing on the main cast is enough for right now lol. 
anyway, potential positions in the blood caste system as well as god tier assignments under the cut!  
so ive definitely thought about this on several occasions and ive seen some heatherstuck content where the heathers are trolls right. the thing is, the color symbolism from both media dont line up. and the heathers being drawn to keep their original colors just doesnt work out with the hemospectrum. like no way is heather chandler a red blood or mutant blood (imo itd make sense for jd to have mutant blood). the heathers being red, yellow, and green blooded would just make them a group of lowbloods and that doesnt fit with the power structure depicted in either canon. 
heather chandler would absolutely have fuchsia blood! i couldnt imagine it any other way. duke could maybe get away with being jade blooded because thatd put her in the midblood range but also what does that leave for mcnamara? i dont really have a good answer for that right now but - 
the heathers themselves aside, veronica would actually be pretty well suited for being some kind of blueblood (teal or cerulean maybe?) veronica being blue blooded would put her in a position of enough privilege to be taken under chandlers wing but also not privileged enough to naturally be at the top. 
jd would probably be rust or mutant blooded. but its also fun to consider: purple blood? since those in that blood class are more susceptible to becoming more ..unhinged. however, i personally favor rust or mutant blooded since i am partial to reds and it would help play into his hatred of society.
trolls or not though theyd all be destined for something right? so im gonna move onto potential god tiers. 
now this is where my laptop cut out so most of the classpect analyses themselves come with help fom http://dahniwitchoflight.tumblr.com
im imagining veronica as a rogue of space. first of all, space players are CRUCIAL to a session as one of the cardinal aspects (space & time making up the fabric of paradox space). its been said by calliope that space can be a passive aspect that holds great power, “hosting the stage before suddenly in some way ‘showing who the master truly is’” and then collapsing in on itself. space players are essential to sessions because it falls on them to light the forge which is necessary for the process of ultimate alchemy (creating the next universe) - and that aside, the idea of veronica collecting and breeding frogs is incredibly cute to me. 
“Those bound to the aspect of Space are, as the name suggests, concerned with the big picture. They are patient, masters of the art of ‘wait-and-see’, and are inclined to take things as they come. That isn’t to say that they’re pushovers or willing to let injustice lie-they just choose their battles wisely, understanding that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before. To this effect, they tend to be innovators, concerned with creation and redemption. Catch them recycling the old to make the new, the fresh, and the beautiful. For the Space-bound, the journey is as, if not more, important than the destination; how they do something is as important as what they do. At their best, they are steady, impartial, and creative. At their worst, they can be detached, apathetic, and vague.”    – this description of space players comes from the extended zodiac quiz itself 
rogues invite theft through their aspect or theft of their aspect. they have problems coping with their aspect or their supposed lack of it, they think that they cant handle it which causes them to give it up too easily. the challenge rogues face is to come to terms with their aspect and own it. 
heres a bit on rogues of space specifically: “They might have a tendency to quickly change the subject into others things or cover their interests up to distract from what they perceive to be their failed creations. They may feel uncomfortable with the thought that everything is random and meaningless in the universe, or that it is what you make of it, because they often think they don’t know what to make of it. They may feel lonely at times and feel like they have too much Space to themselves, wanting to fill it up with other people and things. They might lower their standards to the point that they give up their personal Space to someone not worthy enough, just so they won’t feel alone.On the flip side they might feel like they have too much stuff, maybe because they invite others to use up their Space, giving it away too readily, lamenting their lack of impatience with others, or the ability to say no to people. […] a Rogue’s challenge is to learn to be comfortable with their Aspect, and allow the healthy parts of it to enter their lives. They must learn to be okay with what they have right now, that they have it within themselves to change things and make them better. They don’t have to give up so easily.”
jd seems like hed obviously be a prince of doom and this feels self explanatory but. princes are described as being stubborn and pessimistic and they actively destroy using their class / destroy through their class. a princes challenge is to not end up destroying themselves along the way. doom aspect because not only does it pretty much encompass chaos, but the symbol (and the aspect itself has been speculated to be) pretty clearly draws from The Tumor which is. a giant fucking bomb essentially. another fun tidbit about doom players is that they are DEATH MAGNETS they die a LOT and its theorized that for this reason sburb has a sort of game mechanic in place to help balance that out by granting doom players multiple dream selves. i just think itd be really fun to see a sburb session where jd (maybe) cant be kept down by dying. doom is also associated with judgement and sacrifice, and have been said to be “fates chosen sufferers.” “doom players are wise, kind, and non judgmental at their best and bitter, resentful, and fatalistic at their worst.” 
and while i definitely think the doom class is fitting for jd im stuck between prince and bard? bards are the embodiment of the “wild card”. they allow destruction through their aspect / invite destruction through their aspect and their challenge is to not be ruled by the whims of their aspect. and im just now thinking that while this does make sense in its own way, princes and bards are active / passive opposites and i cant really imagine jd being the more laid back of the two. hes just too extra, lol. although i love the idea of jd being in that ridiculous bard getup 
heres some insight to princes of doom: “A Prince of Doom unapologetically pushes people way past their own limits. They are truly passionate, even almost crazy activists. They hate being told no or that they can’t do something, but are more likely to simply destroy or kill the person who said no then prove them otherwise. Depending on what kind of situation or session they find themselves in, and whether or not what they do is really needed at the moment, they can be heaven sent saviors, freeing people from what binds them, or terrifying dictators, ruling over people and enforcing their will wherever they want, letting nothing and no one limit what they do. […] They likely use Bombs and Fire as their main weapons. They have a lot of potential to go down a very destructive or even evil path if they use their powers irresponsibly, but not every Prince of Doom is automatically evil or will Doom their session.“
heather chandler i can definitely see being a witch of rage. witches manipulate using their aspect or manipulate their aspect directly and their challenge is to use their rule breaking powers in a morally conscious way. 
heres some info about witches of rage: “You don’t tell a Witch of Rage anything, they tell you. Anything you have to say they can Reject with Doubt, Negativity and Skepticism and be like ‘No you’re wrong, it’s actually this way.’ They manipulate fear, mistrust and anger, either lowering it or making you believe it’s not all that bad, even if it is. Or they can amplify it, making you paranoid and afraid of even mundane things. […] They can be ‘loose cannons’ and this can be good or bad, depending on how good you are on getting them on your side and keeping them there. Their entire moral challenge lies in the choice between using their powers on their allies or their enemies, like most witches.”  
heather duke would likely be a maid of mind. a maid creates with their aspect / creates their aspect, and a maids challenge is to rely on themself for their aspect. this absolutely isnt to say that duke cannot think for herself at the beginning of the story by any means.
here’s a bit about maids of mind: “At first they tend to defer to the decisions of the group rather than be a part of them and are more focused on watching and waiting and seeing how other people make decisions. […] When a Maid of Mind starts rising to their challenge, they start deciding for themselves what roles they need to play and when. […] They may just have an apathetic and indifferent personality in general. They start letting their thoughts and decision be known and have an effect instead of just referring to others and blending in.” 
and finally heather mcnamara would probably be a page of heart. (i had a hard time coming up with a god tier for her since, if im being honest, shes not a character i pay much attention to.) pages invite exploitation of their aspect / invite exploitation through their aspect. they start with a deficit in their aspect that they overcome through (obvious) overcompensation. their challenge is to keep at things, even if they fail or the journey is slow, to become stronger in the end. 
bit about pages of heart: “They can be very over dramatic in their emotional displays, blowing up every little thing completely out of proportion and giving disproportionate emotional responses to almost everything. […] They can be easily exploited through all of this by other people who either take advantage of the Page’s emotions and empathy, or take advantage of the Page’s obsessions and desires, using it against them. […] When they rise up to their challenge, they start learning to be more balanced and sincere with their emotions, their affections, and with themselves. They learn how to be passionate, sincere and truly honest with themselves and others.”
and all of this is just SOME of the possibilities of what could happen in a homestuck heathers au. would they all be in the same session? would they all be trolls? would the heathers & veronica be in their own session and jd be in his own session that ends up intertwining together? theres literally SO MANY possibilities when it comes to homestuck aus and i love that shit. 
now that ive spent so much time speculating all this its time to deposit myself directly into the dumpster 
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tumblunni · 6 years
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Hi, I'm the anon who sent the messages about Rotom-Cyrus to TWJ. I wanted to explain myself. There are two books in Rotom's Room: one written by Charon where he says he found out about Rotom "by pure chance." So Charon is involved with Rotom (prob why he has that card) but he isn't the one who met Rotom as a kid. I don't want to spoil exactly what happens in USUM incase you haven't reached that part but it does basically confirm Cyrus is the one who wrote that account.
aaaa that suuuuuckscos literally its fuckin a book signed by charon how was i meant to know that oh the other book right next to it isnt by charon alsoand the trading card has no meaning whatsoeverand we’re just giving more sad backstory to a guy who already had a sad backstory and nope charon has no backstory whatsoever and was just super evil and everyone was right for all these years telling me i’m a jerk for liking this characterand right when basically the same thing just happened with faba seriouslyharmless comedic villain in sun and moon, is shown apparantly redeemed in the postgame, but NOPE now its retconned and he was The Most Evil One and something something lusamine isn’t bad anymore and everything she ever did is now being done by faba in the animecos hey yknow thats what i get for giving the benefit of the doubt to ~ugly people~seriously fuckin everyone hated faba right from when he was first revealed, you had people predicting his ENTIRE PLOT based on just one picture of him and his name and no information whatsoever on his personality. we all just fucking knew what was going to happen because he’s a science man with an ‘ugly’ face and he’s ~flambouyant~and then charon fuckin literally existed to be the ~worse man~ who was added to make cyrus more redeemablethats how he was treated in both mangas. he was made more evil just so cyrus could be redeemed, which was POINTLESS because we all already believed he could be redeemed! and fuck we even all already thought he had cute moments with his pokemon as a kid, geez! there’s a hundred fanarts of that same scenario but with murkrow or zubat or magikarp or houndour or sneasel...just fuckin the pokespe manga wrote a personalityless charon who murdered a child and was outright shown not being friends with rotom and actually hating rotom and getting his ass kicked by rotomand then in DPA we get not only More Evil Charon Who Kills People but also he’s drawn really stupidly over the top scary while everyone else is big eyed shoujo dorks. and our protagonist believes that everyone is redeemable except charon. lets show cyrus committing far more evil acts than charon ever did in the game, lets show him being ooc as fuck and talking about murdering pokemon while surrounded by graves. but THAT IS OKAY and our hero will insist on saying he’s redeemable but NOOOPE charon just fuckin steals some money and has an ugly grandpa face and he gets no such sympathy. he just exists to make you forget that moment of cyrus being ooc double evil. cos we literally retconned that charon was responsible for all cyrus’s evil acts last arc, even though he wasnt even in the fuckin story yetand like now my only damn consolation here is that the character i connected with when i first played the game is AT LEAST NOT THAT EVIL. but all the potential signs of headcanoning him as not evil were all false and i just should have known it. and apparantly its a better and more worthwhile plot to just give sad childhood man another pokemon he knew in his sad childhood, and the thing i thought was Really Cool And Interesting Writing didn’t actually exist. like seriously i was fuckin literally suffering from the same abusive childhood cyrus has in his backstory back when i played dppt and i DO NOT KNOW WHY but i ended up connecting with this stupid grandpa more than him and it saved me in a dark time more than him. back then i was a stupid fuck and i hated cyrus cos i saw myself in him, like i didnt want to admit that i was in an abusive family and i wanted to hate him for daring to want to take revenge against the world that fucked him over. i felt he didnt have the right, like I didnt have the right..so yeah i didnt even fully realise cyrus’s backstory until i replayed the game as an adult, but the one thing that did hit me back then was how unexpected and cool it was to turn our opinion of this jerk grandpa on its head. like i mean whoa! i didnt hate him like everyone else did, i found him pretty funny, but still i wasnt a big fan or anything until i saw that diary entry. like charon does LITERALLY NOTHING in the plot there is no reason they should have added him in a third version, he has no reason to exist unless he was meant to be the guy who introduces rotom’s new forms also added in the game. and it was such a mind blown moment! it doesnt even make him less evil! like “whoa this evil guy used to be a good kid once” could still work even if it WASNT a sign of him having potential redeemability, like it makes him so much more personally evil and horrible if he abandoned his best friend or something. I was so dissappointed you don’t get a boss battle with him, cos i went and caught that rotom and was hyped to defeat him with the pokemon he once betrayed and like there’s NONE OF THAT ANGLE if it was cyrus. it doesnt make rotom any different than any of his other pokemon that he owns right now and we know he already cares about, cos he has a crobat.and it JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSEbecause the journal SOUNDS like charon!they both talk all smart guy style but it felt more formal like how charon talksand like how charon boasts a lot, but the journal has him boasting about his friend instead. it sounds too enthusiastic to be cyrus...and like we already know where cyrus grew up as a kid and it wasnt eterna city. and he doesnt have a secret lab in galactic hq also in eterna city, like charon does. and also he’s not like friggin fifty years old so why would his childhood poke-friend be in a wrecked abandoned house if it was just ten years ago or something. and also why would they give charon this trading card where they draw the 100% evil guy having a vaguely genuine smile on his face and not looking like rotom hates him and he’s got it caged up or anything and also why would the card’s effect be all about friendship and why would they define him as The Rotom Guy and why would they even bother to give a trading card to charon if charon is a pointless character who never did anything important and had no actual relevance to this rotom wifi event except apparantly stealing a bunch of diaries from some other guy who was really responsible for it all. and why would they bother to point out that someone signed the diary if it wasnt the guy who wrote the diary, and also we are not going to sign the diary by the guy who actually wrote it. like if it was meant to be cyrus whey didnt they make it clearer?? nobody could be expected to have figured that out!also why does charon have a second rotom room in silph co in HGSS which timeline wise means he would have had it before DPPT and he’s talking about finding a rotom by chance before he ever found this diary that doesnt really belong to him. like why would he build an entire lab of form machines if he didnt own a rotom yet? how would he know enough to make them actually work for rotom if he never owned a rotom yet?why did nintendo decide to do all this if i wasnt supposed to reach the conclusion that charon had ANYTHING to do with rotom???why didnt they make it fucking clearer. why couldnt i have been saved years of clinging to this stupid ass headcanon and basing a lot of my taste in stories on the whole concept of ‘wow that was so fucking cool how they took a one dimensional looking villain and then turned it on our head with a cool reveal and made me super eager to see future stories with him’ and hey we’re not ever gonna get those and also everyone else was right and i should just give up and agree that ugly looking granddads will always be eviland why the fuck did i somehow link my self worth to such a random ass headcanon for a random ass character like seriously could someone have properly explained cyrus’s plot to me as a kid so i could have had him stop me from committing suicide instead. like seriously if they’d just made cyrus’s grandpa less hard to find and explained the plot more clearly and explained that he was the rotom kid AAAAAAAAARGHand i really didnt fucking need this, usum, right after also people started telling me that lusamine is ~really good~ and her whole child abuse plot is gone now like ha ha ha ha fucking ha lets crush bunni on two damn levelsand what is my fucking luck that this happened to happen right on the same day when i got some stupid ass anon hate and also had a horrible nightmare about my abusive fatherlike seriously dude who sent me this ask im really sorry ive had such an incoherant babbling reply to it, its just been a really bad day for me and like.. im not freaking out because of this minor headcanon being proven wrong, its just like i was already freaking out and having some random irrelevant headcanon bullshit happen right now is REALLY bad timing to push me off the edgehopefully i can calm down and come back and give a more coherant response of like.. why i headcanoned the different thing and why I’m sad its not true, even though i’m happy for you that your personal headcanon did become true instead.but like it sucks to be told ‘nope you’re not allowed to have your favourite character, his one and only personality trait was just a misconception you had’ during such a really bad timing of such an already bad daynintendo could u give us like a sassy science villain gramps who DOES have a redemption plot? or at least a plot that isnt ‘exists to be worse than the main villain’? like seriously why did it happen twice. i was happy at original sun and moon cos it felt like faba as charon but better written but then NOOOOPEjust...god...what.what sort of fuckface up in heaven decided to throw all the bad shit at me today and not at least spread it out across the rest of the week?
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