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head-empty-just-sigma · 2 years

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i hate time travel.

that’s it. that’s the post.

i’m kidding

i need to rant about why i hate Fukuchi’s sword in bsd so i turned it into an analysis of why it freaking sucks

yes this is an actual analysis post of everything it’s capable of doing/we’ve seen it do in the manga so far. it’s just filled with my own rage at time travel being used in a manga i desperately want to keep liking but it’s testing me a bit here

🔺spoiler warning for the main manga and probably some other scenes i forgot i mentioned i’m just angry ranting here🔻

also general warning for some censored swearing (i’m very angry) also also i did minimal editing so expect a few typos. there’s also no tldr you either suffer through this with me or you don’t

the basics

Amenogozen a 1,500 year old katana that’s imbued with an ability. it was made by a gifted swordsmith for Shinto rituals, but some time later it fell into the hands of Fukuchi who used it in combat because of his own ability’s effect on the sword. it’s made out of basic metal, but imbued with the ability to cut through time and space. under normal circumstances, it can ‘cut’ 12 centimeters of space around itself, and .12 seconds of time into the future or the past. in Fukuchi’s hands using his ability Mirror Lion (enhance any weapon he’s holding in his hands by a hundredfold) this turns into 12 meters and 12 seconds, which is why he uses it as a weapon and major get out of dodge card.

what the actual hell is this. like, seriously. even the likes of Verlaine and Rimbaud were better than this as ability users with “transcendent abilities”. H.G. Wells was better than this and she only appears in a chaotic light novel but at least her time traveling ability makes sense & is used in a non-story-breaking way.

so Fukuchi literally is his own deus ex machina. he can give himself warnings from the “future” of any danger his “current/past” self about to be in, and send his sword up to 12 seconds in the past in order to avoid it. this is how he defeated literally everybody in the story so far. he gets defeated but oH nO My SwOrD cUt ThE pAsT fRoM tHe FuTuRe

can you tell how much i hate this? cuz it’s a lot

Fukuchi relies so heavily on his sword that in every battle we’ve seen with him, he’s lost at first. Aku and Atsushi? they teamed up finally in the end to be the shin soukoku Dazai wanted them to be and defeated Fukuchi. but NO his silly little sword cut into the past and cut Atsushi’s arm off, making it so that he didn’t kill Fukuchi and reversed his future-self’s death. do you see how this doesn’t make a lot of sense story-wise?

theoretically, nobody can defeat Fukuchi because he can just cut the past out of existence and reverse his defeat.

here’s another example for all of you Tachihara fans who are in pain (me too *sobs*). he has the ability to manipulate metal, meaning the ordinary metal-made sword is vulnerable to his ability. Tachihara even uses his gift at first to stop Fukuchi from cutting into the past and stabbing Tachihara, meaning his gift defeats the time and space cutting sword by not allowing it to cut time and space. it’s Fukuchi’s natural enemy, and Fukuchi even recognizes that during the fight. Tachihara quite literally understands the one way to defeat Fukuchi: take the sword away from him. however, Tachihara is still freaking defeated by Fukuchi simply because he can deus ex machina himself messages from the future to his past self in order to warn himself of any danger to come and basically predict the future and act on it on the same level as Dazai or Fyodor. it’s almost as if he has Oda’s ability Flawless, but instead of predicting the future in a fluid way that’s satisfying to the story, he just rewrites the past in order to erase his defeat so that he can continue being an antagonist with literally zero understandable motivations. seriously, am i missing something or is Fukuchi just an antagonist for the sake of being an antagonist? at least with Fyodor we know why he’s evil, and his parts of the story are always extremely satisfying to read. with Fukuchi it’s always just “omg yes an epic battle! character development moments! epic conclusions-! oh, wait, he just rewrote everything with his sword and now it’s 100% less satisfying. oh look another major character de-*gunshots*”

*ahem* anyway

a good portion of the fandom towards Fukuchi

i really don’t like time travel. more accurately, i don’t like time travel when it’s used like this. it is actively ruining the story for me. every fight where the sword is used we as the reader get so excited to see how the character outsmarts Fukuchi, who is a master swordsman and master of martial arts, and we’ve gotten 2 amazing fight scenes that show us ways to outsmart Fukuchi as well as give us character development that’s incredibly important to the story and the characters themselves. Aku keeping his promises and trusting Atsushi in battle, while also understanding that Dazai didn’t abandon him? epic, awesome character development. Atsushi finally trusting Aku in a fight and being able to work together like their predecessors (soukoku) to outsmart their enemy? fantastic, wonderful character development. f*cking thrown in the trash by Fukuchi’s sword of ‘i cannot be defeated because blah blah cut into the past/future to stop my defeat’. we better get another Aku & Atsushi scene soon or else all of that character development will actually be a complete and utter waste of panels and brain space.

Tachihara’s character development is amazing. he’s manipulated against his will and unbeknownst to himself by the page from the Book, but because he’s a mafioso he’s able to realize he’s being tricked. he even understands the importance of his connections in the Mafia despite being a Hunting Dog! he feels remorse for hurting his friends and betraying them! that. is. amazing. character development. his fight with Fukuchi proves that he knows where his loyalties are, which is with the Port Mafia because Fukuchi is the enemy behind it all. Tachihara even recognized that there was a bigger evil at play, but the page and his ties to the Hunting Dogs blinded him to the truth. he rejects being a Hunting Dog in order to realize his identity as a mafioso, and knows that it’s Fukuchi’s fault for being the villain that he wasn’t able to stay a Hunting Dog with that small group of close friends. he’s even able to defeat Fukuchi at first by taking his sword away, and he’s powerful enough that Fukuchi sees Tachihara as his natural enemy because of his ability. Tachihara has the possibility to single handedly defeat Fukuchi! but his FREAKING SWORD OF F*CK YOU erases ALL OF IT

*sigh*

**i can recognize him as an antagonist who wants to get rid of politicians who mindlessly create war just because they can and whatever heavenly comparison to angels that Fukuchi makes but honestly it just sounds like a different version of attack on titan’s final season plot or whatever (i’ve only seen season 1 & seen some memes and heard my friends complain so i’m just guessing).

**yeah i know like a paragraph ago i just said i didn’t understand his motivations but i remembered this when i reread Tachihara’s fight scene & he has a villain monologue moment explaining his motivation so yeah.

also in chapter 102.5:

what. what the f*ck.

so his future self went and searched all the areas of the huge ass airport so that his past & current self didn’t have to? how the hell does that make sense?

let me tell you how i believe time works

the future only exists because of the current, meaning his current self creates the future that his future self exists in. this makes sense since he’s able to alter the current by changing the past. with this scenario, it literally is just pure laziness to me. the future where the Kunikida and Tanizaki potentially saved Aya isn’t even shown because somehow his future, current and past selves are literally 3 different things in this story. his future self went and did this outside of our view, and his current self (in this scene) receives the messages & saves hours of time and can immediately find the ADA members in the airport thanks to his future self. what. the hell. are we not allowed to have anything anymore? is Fukuchi just God in this story now? we couldn’t get an escape scene or a fight scene with vampire Aku versus Kunikida and Tanizaki, or a horde of vampires even?

it would’ve been 100% more epic to have Tanizaki have to use his ability to hide the group and create illusions in order to escape the airport. the suspense would be palpable in that situation. plus we could also have Fukuchi searching for them as well but being confused by the illusions & unable to use his god mode powers to send himself messages as to where they are because he just doesn’t know. that would’ve been way better tbh.

plus this just muddles the basic understanding of time to me. it got a little iffy in the Tachihara fight since Fukuchi stabs into the future in order to defeat Tachihara, but it kind of made sense at least. in chapter 102.5 it really just doesn’t to me, it seems like his future self is able to just do stuff and allow his current self to save time by not existing in that future. i guess if i look at it as he’s technically altering the past but we’re just not seeing it it still makes sense, but this is what i mean when time travel is confusing and should be kept out of media where it’s used to just cut things out of the story or make an excuse for events to be rewritten.

ok i just had to get that out of my system. but seriously, if Fukuchi doesn’t end up dying soon & continues to use his deus ex machina sword to ruin the story i might just stop reading until this arc is over. it’s that bad to me.

mini theory: Dogra Magra needs to come back for a chapter so he can die and this arc can end

Q’s ability should theoretically make it so that he’s unable to warn his past self of danger, since his current self will be hallucinating and handicapped by Q’s mind control. this would leave him vulnerable to attacks and able to be defeated by literally anyone basically. the only issue is Dogra Magra will need to be used similarly to how it’s used in tandem with Steinbeck’s ability so that Fukuchi doesn’t see it coming and is unknowingly put under its control. as far as we know, there’s no counter to Dogra Magra other than Dazai’s ability so Fukuchi will be weak to it. plus if he isn’t able to detect when he falls under the ability’s spell then he won’t be able to warn himself, especially if it’s longer than 12 seconds in the past. and that’s the other thing, if literally any attack happens that’s time-based and happens even 13 seconds in the past, Fukuchi won’t be able to avoid it. this is similar to how Oda’s ability was weak to time-based attacks as well where he picked up the poison-coated ball and then realized the danger only after picking it up because it took 7 or 8 seconds for the danger to arrive, which is longer than Flawless allows him to see into the future.

#this is such poor quality i’m sorry #i needed to rant & it turned into an analysis post #bungou stray dogs #bsd manga #bsd analysis #bsd spoilers #bsd manga spoilers #bsd ch102.5 #bsd chapter 102.5 #bsd fukuchi #fukuchi ouchi #screaming into the void #and the void screams back

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stranger-rants · 2 years

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There’s something about the desire certain people have to study “toxic men” (their words) like Billy that really irks me because of how easily it slides into problematic views of male victims such as placing them strictly into the role of “the oppressor” and “the perpetrator of misogyny” rather than as victims traumatized by the very system these people are supposedly criticizing. I do think it’s why we experience the same hot takes over and over, such as:

1. “Billy is a full grown man who is fully aware of his adult male privilege, using it to harm women and children.”

Billy is canonically 17/18 who is highly reactive to the different situations he’s been in. To say he is an adult fully aware of his impact on others ignores his developmental differences from full grown adults and how his brain has been wired from chronic trauma / adverse childhood experiences. He has limited privileges, and he is living with an adult abuser who has significant control over his life. This results in Billy displaying erratic and (self) destructive behaviors. He exhibits most symptoms of CPTSD and he should be understood as a traumatized person with limited to no support systems. Additionally, condemning him as a survivor while praising less-violent survivors teaches survivors with violent tendencies that they don’t deserve to get better which only continues the harm.

2. “Billy is a womanizer who demands sex with women without any emotional investment.”

All of Billy’s ‘relationships’ with women have been consensual on their part, and there’s no indication that he abuses them in any way. The idea that romantic attachment is owed is amatonormative. You are not owed romantic connection any more than you’re owed sex. Billy has attachment issues that stem from trauma - specifically, abandonment. There are more logical reasons as to why Billy sleeps around often and doesn’t get invested in relationships other than he’s a “womanizer.”

3. “Billy is a home wrecker for seeking out sex with adult women vs. Karen is liberating herself by seeking out sex with a teenage boy.”

This is a common way in which male victims of female predators are treated. Karen had adult privilege, which she should have used to protect Billy rather than prey on him. The reframing of sexual abuse, manipulation, assault, et cetera as women’s liberation has done so much damage to the feminist movement as a whole. Not only is it hypocritical, but if you do not recognize that boys should also be protected from sexual abuse and violence then you cannot adequately protect anyone from it.

4. “Billy is a mirror of his father who won’t/can’t break the cycle of abuse because he’s inherently toxic/evil.”

Max also mirrors Neil’s behavior, which reflects how Neil as the adult abuser has pit Billy and Max against each other. Billy only mirrors his father in the context of his father handing down punishments to him if he doesn’t keep Max in line. Billy is used as a proxy, because Neil cannot directly harm Max. Despite this, Billy mirrors his mother at his core much more than he does Neil in his appearance, his dress, his defiance, the way he fights and the way he runs away. Furthermore, a lot of assumptions are made about what Billy would say or do based on what Neil would say or do without any critical thought. For example, the pervasive belief that Billy would be homophobic because Neil is homophobic ignores how Billy is canonically a victim of Neil’s homophobia regardless if he’s confirmed on-screen to be queer.

5. “Billy just hates women. You can tell by how much he hates Max and Susan.”

It’s more telling that Billy was abandoned by his mom, yet holds no obvious resentment towards her as is the stereotype of “male characters with mommy issues.” He always loved her and he defended her from domestic violence. His unwillingness to accept Max as his sister stem from his inability to form healthy attachments to people without fear of abandonment. This is made worse by the fact that Susan is literally a bystander to the abuse he endures, abandoning him every time she looks away / pretends it’s not happening. If you want to hold him accountable for calling women in Hawkins “cows,” then you might want to be less selective about when and where you care about misogyny considering how beloved characters on this show have said worse.

Billy is an interesting character for many reasons, but if your goal is to “study” him exclusively as a model for toxic masculinity then I don’t trust you. There are a multitude of characters you could do the same analysis with to look at the bigger picture and it’s often better that way because it doesn’t help to blame systemic issues on the individual when it’s, well, systemic. Otherwise, just say you don’t understand or care to understand male victims of abuse and shut up. There’s nothing valuable you have to say at that point.

#billy hargrove #aces #fandom critical #but more of a commentary on how characters like billy are perceived by certain audiences #even outside of fandom spaces #csa tw

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opheliawillowbrook · 2 years

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Raven and terra kind of shows as a parallel to Robin and slade

Robin and slade have dark sides but Robin fights to do good and slade does the opposite

Raven accepts her flaws and works to overcome them; she works tirelessly to bring her powers under control and strives to be a hero in hopes of making up for the evil in her blood. Terra, on the other hand, runs away from her problems, making excuses for herself, and wallowing in self-pity. Whereas Raven constantly meditates and represses herself to establish her control, Terra fell in with Slade because he promised a quick and easy way for her to get the control she always wanted. Raven is incredibly loyal to her teammates, who she is implieds to view as a surrogate family, whilst Terra happily betrayed the Titans to Slade in exchange for help.

Terras hate for Rae is all because rae does what she never did

That's definitely a fair interpretation. Slade and Robin are different sides of the same coin, whereas Raven and Terra are a contorted funhouse mirror images of each other. The difference is that Raven wants to do good and be better than her fated existence. Terra embraces her dark side and uses her tragic past as an excuse for her bad behavior. Raven struggles to uphold her humanity vs Terra who blames humanity for her problems. This is the exact reason Raven and Terra have never scene eye to eye. Worse, deep down Raven sees the evil in Terra and only dismisses it because her nature sways her better judgment because Raven knows she has evil in her as well, but recognizes that doesn't inherently make someone evil. If it did that would be mean Raven herself was evil and undeserving of trust and understanding.

In the DCAMU Damian proves Raven's theory that one can overcome the darkness in them and become a better person. However, Terra in the end is the exception to the rule. As we see in Teen Titans Judas Contract Terra exploits Raven's understanding nature to her advantage and helps Slade dismantle the Titans one by one. It was Damian who recognized that something was not right with Terra and questions her intentions. Likely because he recognized that same darkness that clouded his own judgement and knew deep down that his team was vulnerable due to their collective good kind nature. They never stood a chance.

Honestly, I know it wasn't a prefect movie, but Judas contract doesn't get enough credit for the dynamic it executed in the degrees of human nature the complication of what he can perceive as the human condition. You have trust and betrayal, yes, but you also have the layers of personality and temperament. Raven, unlike Damian and Terre, is passive and cares about the privacy of others and decides not to pry into to Terror's life. Worse, Raven wants so badly to be understood and accepted that she extends this curtesy to Terra, not because she's foolish or naive, but because she understands complications of the dueling forces that cut down the center of every human heart. How we are so complexed, with all these desires and passions and deceptions, yet we're also so very permeative and follow our basic instincts. Damian, however is not so forgiving and knows that Terra isn't trust worthy and that it's only a matter of time before she hurts someone.

In the end, Terra chooses personal gain over her friends and only omits that she made the wrong choice once it's clear that Slade played her for the blind little fool she is. It's fair to say that Terra felt some guilt along way, but she never acts on the guilt in my opinion. If she did she would have ended the ruse long before selling her friends out and her hatred for them is really just a conduit for her hatred of humanity. So when Terra finally chooses to do the right thing, she does it out of shame, but also personal loss. Her life is a lie, and her self-pity she finally sees herself monster she's allowed herself to become by embracing her inner darkness and casting out all the light. Like her friends, Terra never had a chance because she never allowed herself one and anytime she was given the chance to turn back and let the light in, she shuttered the blinds and locked everyone out. And that is the darker part of the Judas Contract movie that everyone seems to miss. It's a story of personal Tragedy and undoing unstable say individual who was taken advantage of.

I'll stope here because I could go about this all day maybe at some point I'll do a further break down of the movie and go over the parallels more in-depth. Let me know if anyone would be interring in reading a post like that?

Until then 😘

#tara markov #terra #teen titans judas contract #teen titans #damirae #damian al ghul #damian wayne #raven dc #raven roth #damian x raven #dark apocalypse war #raven #raven teen titans #demon song birds #demonbirds #dcamu #justice league dark apocalypse war

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andromedaexists · 5 months

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History of the English Language final is submitted

On the one hand: I did not write what I said I would write and I also did not meet the minimum length requirement or really touch on anything important.

On the other hand: i am going to fucking lose it if i have to spend any more time writing this stupid fucking story. like, this is genuinely making me realize just how much i need to actually care about something in order to write ti because this is actual torture and i hate every second of it

what did you think I wasn't going to share it? rude. Also yes, I did use myself as a character because no one knows that it's me and it's easiest to get into my own brain given the fact that I am me. here ya go:

I’m not sure how I ended up here. Last I remember, I was researching the linguistic differences between Middle English, Early Modern English, and Present Day English. I had laid my head to rest on the desk in front of open copies of The Canterbury Tales, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and ΔΆΙΟΣ for just a moment, desperately trying to ease the throbbing pain in my head. But now I’m sitting in a dark room in front of three people that I recognize from my studies: Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Andromeda. The authors whose books I’m using in my research.

They look just as surprised to be here as I am, their wide eyes and shocked expressions no doubt a mirror to my own.

The confused silence is broken as Andromeda asks, “What?”

[Insert Middle English version of “What is this insanity?”] Chaucer says, moving as if he wanted to flee but could not figure out where he could go.

Shakespeare’s eyes never left mine. He’s the first to calm down, saying, “This is a dreameth, is't not? Oh, this wouldst maketh a wond'rful st'ry.”

I smile, my eyes crinkling at the corners. This, though a fabrication of my own subconscious mind, is an amazing opportunity. I have three people in front of me, each speaking a different form of the language I am studying. I must learn what I can from them.

“It will make a wonderful story,” I agree. Andromeda and Chaucer look back at me when I speak, though Chaucer still looks lost. His form of the language is the most different, more of a mixture of what we now know as German, Latin, and English. I wish for a way to make him understand, and then I remember that this is a dream. “But first, we have to know what story we are telling.”

This time, as I speak, the confusion falls away from Chaucer’s face and understanding replaces it.

“I think we all understand each other now, no?” I ask. The authors agree, we are all able to understand one another. “Awesome, let’s test it out. Do all of you know the Lord’s Prayer?”

Another round of agreement follows before I turn to Chaucer and ask him to say it.

“Oure fadir that art in heuenes, halewid be thi name; thi kyngdoom come to; be thi wille don, in erthe as in heuene. Yyue to vs this dai oure breed ouer othir substaunce, and foryyue to vs oure dettis, as we foryyuen to oure dettouris; and lede vs not in to temptacioun, but delyuere vs fro yuel. Amen."

I take special notice of the pronunciation. It is one thing to read Middle English on paper, but another thing entirely to hear it spoken. The words flow from Chaucer’s mouth much better than they ever have from mine when trying to read and reconstruct the language in my mind.

Then, Shakespeare.

“Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen."

And finally, Andromeda.

“I learned it as the Our Father, but it’s more or less the same as that guy’s,” he says, pointing to Shakespeare. “Or would you rather I say the non-Roman Catholic version?”

“There’s a difference?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that one. Our father in heaven, we honor your holy name. We ask that your kingdom will come now. May your will be done on earth, just as it is in heaven. Give us our food again today, as usual, and forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who have sinned against us. Don't bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the Evil One. Amen."

The shock I feel at the words must be plastered on my face, as Andromeda responds, “Yeah I don’t like it either. I grew up saying the older version and it just feels right to me.”

Before I can ask the authors anything else, the room starts to fade. A ringing echoes through my mind–my phone is ringing!

I wake with a start, the three texts still laying before me and my phone going off next to them. The number scrawled across the screen is my academic advisor’s, probably checking in on me to see if I’ve had any luck with my studies.

#andi talks #only one final left #well two technically but the second is just reciting latin #one more that i have to put effort in to let's say #because the latin is already written (its something we composed earlier in the semester) and i just have to perform it #not even tagging this as writing because i genuinely hate what i've written so much

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emmym1 · 9 months

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My thoughts on... Spider-Gwen: Ghost-Spider 2018 (#1-4) "Spider-Geddon"

And we're back! Continuing my read through of the Spider-Gwen comics. I'm very excited to see where they take Gwen and her story after her 2015 run. There are tons of things they can explore and for one can't wait to see what they'll do with her in this run. So this new run starts off where he previous one left us. Gwen is out of jail and ready to do good again, in the right ways. The first issue picks up about 2 months after she got out of jail. We see Gwen being in a very good mental state and once again she is finding freedom in being Spider-Gwen. Which is really interesting and cool to see because it's why she initially became the Spider-Woman. To be free and have fun with her powers. Although back then she couldn't handle the responsibility and expectations put on her. But now she can, it's great character development and it really shows how much she has grown. After this she meets Harry again, which she from my knowledge hasn't seen since the events of Madripoor in Spider-Gwen Vol. 4 "Predators". I do wish that they explored more about what's been going on with him. It was kind of weird to just see them be besties again without acknowledging much of what happened between them. I will their conversation had a cool moment where Gwen once again acknowledges her responsibilities and the concequences of her actions. The conversation also sets up an interesting premise for this run. Figuring out where Spider-Woman ends and where Gwen Stacy begins. Gwen is finally a whole person again after accepting both her side as Gwen and as Spider-Woman and seeing them as one complete thing instead of 2 halves. But now that she is whole again, she has to figure out where her life as Spider-Woman ends and wher Gwen Stacy begins as before this she was mostly living as the Spider-Woman. So how does her life like Gwen look like now that's she whole again? The same for her Spider-Woman side, where does that side of her end now that's she whole again? I'm really excited for them to explore that. I will say i do dislike how she hates her Spider-Gwen name as it's really contradictory to her previous run. In which she accepts and embraces it and where the name stands for her becomming whole again and accepting that both the Spider-Woman part and Gwen Stacy part of her all make up who she is and aren't separate things. Essentially making her Spider-Gwen as she accepts both sides of herself as everything that makes up her as one person. After this the Spider-Geddon tie-in stuff starts to take place. I will be honest, i have not read the Spider-Geddon event but i did watch a recap video to understand what's up (i might revisit this post when i eventually read it). Gwen ends up on a unknown earth after her portal watch gets destroyed. It's a pretty interesting earth, Harry Osborn is Spider-Man & Gwen Stacy is the Green Goblin (or should i say the Gwen Goblin). What's even more interesting is that this Gwen Stacy is kind of a mirror to Earth-65's peter but in a bit of a different way. She became the hero known as the Green Goblin to help Harry in his fights but this earth's Peter point out on how she mostly did it to feel special, which really hits Gwen as she immediatly recognizes the similarities between this Gwen and her Peter. During a fight with the Sandman this earth's Gwen messed up and accidentally killed her dad. Being caught off guard by this Harry tries to take upon the fight on his own with a pumpkin bomb but eventually he messes up and Harry dies. The explosion causes Gwen's gear to get fried and she turns into the evil Green Goblin we all know. Gwen (from earth-65! I know it gets confusing) also meets very different version of Betty and Gloria on this earth which was really cool. Eventually they save Gwen and this Gwen makes her a new device to traverse the multiverse allowing her to get back to the Spider-Geddon fight. During her time on this earth she point out she must be like a walking ghost to the people around her (A ghost-spider?), which might be teasing how she gets her new nickname.

After this we pick up after the Spider-Geddon event. Gwen is grieving all of her lost spider-friends she lost during Spider-Geddon. I really loved how they showed how the grief was affecting her and how much of a hard time she was having with all of it. Ultimately she travels the multiverse to tell the loved ones of the spider people who died to tell them what happened, it's a really beautiful moment and we get a lot of cool new Spider-Gwen outfits. Ultimately we see her work through her grief and come to acceptance. She has really touching monologue which talks a lot about the ghosts that haunts us (further setting up her new name maybe?). Her Spider-Geddon arc ends with acceptance as she swings into the sunset. This was a really good start to her new run and some of themes they're setting up sound really interesting. I will say there are some inconsitensies with her previous run which kind of sucks. Like her not liking the Spider-Gwen name and her being really good friends with Harry without really touching upon the last time they saw each other, because i feel there was a lot you could have done with that and how it affected their friendship. Regardless this was a solid start to the new run despite it being somewhat tied down by having to deal with the Spider-Geddon event. I'm looking really forward to reading and seeing what's next!

#spider gwen #comics #gwen stacy #earth 65 #ghost spider

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ceriseisland · 2 years

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Top 10 minor/secondary characters in pokespe (Gym Leader/Elite 4/Team members/other NPCs).

10. Bill. Love how he keeps getting caught up in dexholder events against his will, especially in the yellow arc. He's just a poor college grad who didn't sign up for this

9. Trevor. Idk why but I like how he's the narrator of XY. I feel like he could have gone through an interesting character arc had XY been better executed

8. Norman. I've talked before about how Norman is a much more nuanced character than people give him credit for, and I'm also surprised just how many people I've talked to who feel the same way. While he isn't a good person, it's cool that people recognize that he's at least an interesting character, which is a definite shift from the way people used to view him

7. Blaine. Like ive said before I love how he does some mad science and bonds his body to Mewtwo then sets himself on fire to cure himself of it. What a madlad. Also his arc in RBG about accepting Mewtwo from the way Red interacts with it is great for the overall narrative of the series. He deserves all the screen time he gets

6. Cheren. Honestly adjusting Cheren's personality from the games to have him be the friend who takes care of everyone makes him so much better as a character, especially his friendship with Black. I used to dislike Cheren's mini joining-team-plasma arc, because it doesn't make sense and is really indicative of how BW views itself by the end, but now I think it's just funny. He's like hey I'm evil now. Okay I'm done being evil

5. Steven. His death hits hard and I appreciate that. Having him die in Wallace's arms gets me every time, especially with how Wallace calls the president and dampens the news that the threat is over with the fact that their champion is now dead. I also think it's funny how he starts out as the noble champion who sacrificed himself to save everyone to a millionaire who misspells his own name to the son of a ceo who hurt a group of indigenous people and drained the life energy of his own pokemon. Like yeah, of course ORAS is about the needless conflict between the two groups but also what the Stone family did to the draconids was way worse than what the draconids did to them, so the vibes Steven gives off have slid down a slope, but maybe that's just me

4. Emma. While I don't think her parallels to X are that well executed, I get what he was going for. I think she could have been great if Kusaka had cared about giving X any sort of structured growth. Also she's precious and I want to protect her

3. Lorelei. I think it's interesting that it seems like Agatha influenced and possibly manipulated her beliefs as a child. I'm sure she always would have hated people, but I doubt she would have gotten to "all people need to die" without help, which is something Agatha doesn't seem to truly believe either, except it lines up with her real goal of sticking it to Oak. In that way she makes a good parallel to Green, especially with Green's line to her about being guilty of fighting the wrong battle. It also makes her comeback as a good guy in FRLG even better

2. Wallace and Winona. I love love LOVE how they function as parallels to Ruby and Sapphire's relationship in RS and the emerald arc. It's a plot device I've never seen elsewhere, where two mentor figures have a relationship that mirrors whatever state the protagonists' relationship is in. It's also adorable how they act like Ruby and Sapphire's parents post-RS. Their little found family dynamic is so important to me

1. Courtney. Not only is she a great character but the function she plays as a parallel to Ruby is great too, with how they refect each other's worst traits. It also makes their friendship cool, and adds weight to her redemption. Genuinely one of the best characters in the manga. Wish she would marry me :(

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 1 year

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Penny pissed me off so much in the Scarlett SQ. I get that she’s severely traumatised by Scarlett’s attack and has a prejudice against werewolves as a result but she annoyed me to no end with her views and behaviour. Every time she went on a tangent about how all werewolves were ruthless killing machines I wanted the option to be like “okay how about I go tell Chiara what you think of her?” And the fact that it was SCARLETT who had to apologise pissed me off even more like at most they both should’ve apologised but just Scarlett doing it without Penny having to do the same is bs. I wasn’t even that satisfied by the ending or with Penny. Like I hope her mindset isn’t “I still think all werewolves are monsters but Chiara and Scarlett are exceptions” because that’s hardly an improvement imo.

It's...not surprising.

Among other things, Anti-Werewolf sentiment is prevalent in her culture, and is widely considered to be a socially acceptable view. Werewolves still have to join a Registry. Like. Wow. That gets more and more appalling to me the older I get. There is a Werewolf Capture Unit for heaven's sake. Really, the only people in this culture who are staunch defenders of Werewolves are those who are close friends with a Werewolf. Really gets me thinking about the various prejudices that are still socially acceptable today, with minimal exception. Speaking of wolves, the one that pops into my mind is how much Furries get bullied. That bothers me a lot. In 2022, we should be better than this.

Penny is a good person, categorically. But good people can be flawed and exhibit implicit bias. With her experiences and her trauma, it's no wonder that this is her prejudice. Like, it is worth noting that she has severe trauma and survivor's guilt associated with Lycanthropy. Not an excuse, just, something to keep in mind. When Scarlett is revealed to be alive, she's forced to confront her own ideas about werewolves, to look at herself in the mirror properly. She's been so comfortable just demonizing them as the monsters who took Scarlett away. Not Scarlett alive, and she's one of them. She's a Werewolf. I don't think anything could have challenged Penny's worldview the way this did. No, not even Chiara would do.

By the way, with how these quest work, Penny knowing Chiara's secret wouldn't have mattered. It's stupid, and I hate to say it, but this quest doesn't factor that in because...I guess the story would be too different? Penny would be too different? So she's written in such a way that she doesn't know Chiara's secret, or, if she does, it hardly matters. It's just like you said. To Penny, Chiara would be an "exception." Which is a baby step toward recognizing Werewolves as people - nothing more, nothing less. It's a step in the right direction, yes, but also the bare minimum. Which is all Chiara could be, really. No matter how sweet and innocent she is...she's not the Werewolf who "killed" Scarlett. So her existence cannot challenge that hatred. In Penny's mind, Scarlett is a pure and innocent victim. The Werewolf who killed her is the ultimate evil, and Penny transposes that evil onto everyone with Lycanthropy. Nobody could have challenged that point of view. Nobody except Scarlett, or the Werewolf that infected her.

#Penny Haywood #Chiara Lobosca #Scarlett Sparks #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #HPHM Analysis

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thecreelhouse · 2 years

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Another B*lly ask here ignore if you don't want to have this discussion on your blog, because I honestly understand not wanting to interact with this topic.

Going off that other anon, yes B*lly stans really blame Max for a lot of things than her abuser. There were a bunch of people who were angry at Max's speech in vol2, saying the Duffers just shit on B*lly even in death and it was apparently ooc for Max to wish for B*lly to dissappear, those are the words of the Duffers not Max because they are evil people. It's insane to me because I feel like I watched a completely different show than them, because they think after s2 Max and him were close and had a almost normal relationship. I mean I shit on the Duffers constantly, but one thing I have to give to them is how they handled both Max and El's relationship with their abusers. I was skeptical before s4 (especially when the first reviews said something about Max avenging B*llys death) but they did a good job showcasing how complicating those relationships can be. As soon as I heard Max say she wished B*lly would dissappear I knew how much hate she would get from those fans. I mean like the other anon said, they believe her standing up to him in s2 was her perpetuating Neil's abuse and makes her like the same level as him, I know it sounds so fucking dumb. It's not like she had to watch her brother almost kill a guy, who was probably the first one to stand up for her. Speaking of Steve, they also justify him getting beat up because he in their eyes threw the first punch unnecessarily, completely ignoring B*llys violence towards Lucas. Plus some even go so far to say B*lly thought of Steve as a pedophile for not telling him the truth about Max's whereabouts. This is by far the most insane take I've seen so far like I was speechless.

They also shit on Caleb after the interview, saying his opinion doesn't matter, only Dacre's who apparently played him as non racist. I think that says everything about them, dismissing the things the main black actor says about their clearly racist fav. Even when people acknowledge B*llys racism it's always compared with no those are Neils beliefs he just repeats them, as if that's not what racism is lol. They always blame anyone but B*lly, he was 18 years old not a child who didn't know better he could start think for himself. I understand he was abused himself, and nobody deserves that but it's not an excuse for his actions. They baby him so much but at the same time are hyper critical of Max who is an abuse victim herself. Saying she should have known better or reach out more, etc. Like Max was 13/14 she's a child trying her best ugh.

I'm sorry this is so long, but B*lly stans just make me so angry. Like I get some of them, I've seen reasonable takes about his characters but others are just something else. When I first watched the show without being in the fandom, I'm new to it, I was neutral towards B*lly, like I disliked him in a normal way but then his stans tried to make him out to be this completely different character than he was canonically and it just made me hate B*lly sm. The complete opposite of what they wanted to accomplish.

no bb you’re so so so okay and your feelings about it are so valid bc it’s so beyond fucked. the way they throw him up on a pedestal and try framing survivors of his abuse as the abusers is SUUUUUUCH a scary tactic that abusers use commonly irl. i think that’s one of the main reasons why i can’t fuck with anyone who stans him. that and the racism obviously.

and honestly i know anyone could come at me and try to be like “but you write about kurt!!!1!1!1!” like…. ya babes but I don’t deny his character was fucking awful too lmao like. at least own up to the fact that your fave is problematic, recognize that, and maybe don’t internalize it and try to mirror his mindset/actions/words bc that’s just fucked.

anyway back to your points— yeah that’s textbook abusive behavior, deflecting the damage you’ve done on others to make it seem like you’re the victim. max did what she could to protect herself and the party because no fucking adults listened, and b*lly wasn’t stupid, he knew when and where it was safe to unleash hell on her. constantly a dick , but we saw behind closed doors how fucking scary he got.

also that’s so fucking infuriating that they’re being so dismissive of a black actor’s perspective on their character. like….. how fucked do you have to be in the head to try and argue that caleb doesn’t know what he’s talking about lmfao….. and these are the same folks that will have blm in their bios but try to ignore the blatant racist views their fave had. even if it was “indirect” at some points, anyone that doesn’t have fucking hay for brains would recognize that immediately after watching b*lly interact with lucas.

even if he DID get those views from neil, you’re absolutely right, he’s old enough to know better enough that that’s fucked up, old enough to know he has a lot of unlearning to do. and i get it, if we really want to get technical, i know the american schooling system has always taught us that racism is a thing of the past, and back when you didn’t have internet at your fingertips, living in a small sheltered town of mostly white folks, it’s not hard to fall into those shit mindsets. that is NOT me excusing any of this by the way!!! point is b*lly definitely knew how to be a bully, and it grew into something so much worse. trauma can really fuck a person up but it’s NOT AN EXCUSE!!!!! i say that firsthand lmao like i have lost people due to my outbursts and bad episodes and taking it out on them unintentionally but it’s something i still take responsibility for you know? you don’t get out of jail free card that just because you’re suffering yourself. just because you’re hurting doesn’t give you an excuse to hurt others!!!!!!!!!

sorry i’m rambling lmfao. anyway. the mental gymnastics they go through to defend their shitbag fave is absolutely astonishing. the disconnect to reality and the cherry picking is so fucking ass backwards; there’s no reason for them to try and defend him with “he was abused!!!!!!! where’s ur empathy!!!!!!!!!” and then go and excuse the fact that he literally wanted to beat (and probably kill if he could) lucas just because he’s black. i just can’t say enough how fucking insane it all is.

#sorry i’m so scatterbrained today bb but i so so appreciate you sharing ur thoughts!!!#y’all are always welcomed to share thoughts as long as ur not being a jerk to me or anyone else here but anyway #answered

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sabypoo · 3 years

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What if the idea was that (KE theories).

We all noted the mirror effect that exists in this show.

Obviously between Eve and Villanelle, quite evident. Eve may represent the "good side", she’s always dressed in dark. Villanelle, as evil or bad side, is colorful. Her outfits as well as her behavior. She often laughs, has fun, plays. Sometimes childish, almost naïve, while Eve is settled in the reality. Frequently stressed. In control. She has brown hair. Villanelle is blonde, bubbly, spontaneous.

But this feeling of duality is also expressed in the staging. In the reflection of the moments they live, even being far from each other. And in the final season, the fact of being closer together does not prevent the manifestation of this mirror. Just have to watch the last scene of the last episode to notice it.

Likewise, a reflection is found in the storyline: when one stops, the other goes back to the race. Being stabbed, against being shot. Believe the other dead and care. Worry about it. Be affected. Everytime.

But there is another mirror effect can be. The one between the seasons.

By the evolution of the characters. In season 1 and 2, they chase each other, look for each other, hate each other as much as they want each other. Their meetings are hard-hitting (they really strike!), they crash against each other. Fire and ice.

And even if we find this outline in episode 3x03, the tone irrefutably changes in the last season. Eve loses her humanity while Villanelle regains some of it. Eve moves further and further away from Niko and Villanelle try to reconnect with her past.

Someone wrote in a review that they each take turns dying in season 1 and 2. I think that's pretty fair. They marked each other (their scars) by a brutal and bloody confrontation that led them to reassess their world. To reconsider their values. After being stabbed, Villanelle stopped being just a merciless killer. She feels something again. For its part, Eve stopped lying to herself after her convalescence.

So...

What if Season 4 mirrored Season 3, like Season 2 mirrored Season 1? And if, as we feel, Eve and Villanelle are the sides of the one and same coin. Inextricably linked, learning to know each other, to recognize each other. I've never seen them so comfortable with each other, and with who they are, than when they finally get together in Season 3. As if it was obvious. Natural. Essential. Compatible.

What if their two mentors were also part of this duality? (Are Konstantin and Carolyn working together at the end of the day?) Is that why Carolyn wants Eve to work for her? Is that why Konstantin first warned Villanelle that a woman was chasing her? For them to chase each other?

What if the Twelve had engineered all of this? I mean, their meeting. Their confrontation? Knowing that they would try to kill themselves, thinking they might succeed? Believing that, by putting these two people opposite to each other but whose common point is their skill to do a great job, by confronting them, they would get rid of both? Are they bothersome for them? Is that part of a plan that we will discover at the end of season 4?

What if their actions, their meeting, even if they suffered, had brought them back to life. A life closer to their real wants and needs.

And if ... this mirror effect is indeed the red line of all this ...

What if ... the end was to die. Both. Because without its two sides, a coin cannot exist.

Two thought again…

One: All of this has some biblical significance. The Twelve (apostles?). Eve? The apple ? Eve Polastri is she the temptation? The one that will make “Adam” (Villanelle) fall?

Two: Someone notices the Villanelle’s coat? She looks like the little red riding hood, but in yellow (color of betrayal…). So, who is the wolf? Eve ou her? Who's leading 😛 ...

I have soooo many ideas in my head 😝 Please, give me your opinions, your feelings, your theories about the last part of this show)

#killingeve #eve polastri #villanelle #the twelve #carolyn #konstantin #jodie comer #sandra oh #eve x villanelle #villaneve #killing eve season 4 #killingeve theories

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honkhonkrichard · 3 years

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Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil. If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT: "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!" "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).

#anyways #Stan #stanley uris #Stan uris #mine #Murder Theory #honktheory #thats a tag now I gues ??#pw #analysis #meta

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sokka-simp · 3 years

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Bakugo x stressed Reader

Drabble thing

A/N: write an indulgent fic pffffffff couldn’t be me 😳🤚🏼

N e wayz I want all of you who read this, whether you think it’s good or not, to not overwork yourself and make sure to take care of yourself 💕

These “—“ mean that the pov changed to third person Baku, so it’s like his thoughts.

this was not read through at all. Which is stressing me out but it’s fine and I don’t really have time to go over it anyway and it kinda sucks but I hope you like it 🥲

Fun fact(that is probably known by like everyone): crying releases emotion, so when you cry while being happy, sad, angry, etc. it’s because your feeling so much of that emotion, your body has to release it. Crying also release endorphins, which help ease pain.

Warnings: cussing, insecurities about body (barely mentioned)

You were very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very stressed out

You had so much work to do and it was beginning to completely take over your thoughts 24/7

You had like 8 tests the week before, which you thought were your final exams, but nooooooo the teachers decided to give you more tests scheduled next week, and those would be your finals

Not only that but you had to read an entire book and answer 5 fucking pages worth of questions

You were a good student and the idea of losing your good grades right before the semester ended...weeeellll wasn’t working well for your mental health

And you hated asking for help on assignments, it made you feel stupid and incompetent

So it’s easy to say you were so stressed you were on the verge of an anxiety attack every few hours

You were trying so hard to sit the fuck down and work on studying and your book assignments but you just couldn’t

You would stare blankly at the book or the study guide and just feel empty

Your mind went, your body felt heavy but light at the same time, tears brimmed your eyes but you just knew you couldn’t cry, even if you wanted to

You would then crawl into bed and stare at a wall until you passed, which was a huge sign that your weren’t ok because you never ever took naps, even when you tried you just couldn’t will yourself to sleep

Your movements were lagging and you couldn’t focus on training

You were distancing yourself from everyone and becoming unresponsive

You stopped eating as much, only eating dinner when your classmates forced you to

And the stress was feeding your other insecurities. You looked at yourself in the mirror and all you could was your stomache. You heard yourself on a recording when practicing for a presnetation, all you could hear was your annoying voice.

You were no longer your usual upbeat, energetic, self

You didn’t say stupid sarcastic jokes every 5 minutes

You didn’t mess around with everyone or jump on them whenever you got a random urge for affection

You didn’t laugh at everything around.

everything about you was just so off

Everyone noticed of course, but the person it affected most was your boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugo.

He just felt so concerned seeing you like that and he had no idea what at all

And we was way to nervous prideful to go up and give you straight up comfort cause he just doesn’t know how.

Emotionally inept dumbass omg 🤷‍♀️🥰

It was Thursday and you have barely even started the book you were supposed to read for Mic sensei. Usually, you would have gotten through at least half it by now, but as you sit down and look at it, still closed, you feel like you can’t read. Your mind goes empty and tired, and painful headaches begin pounding on your temples. You stare at it a few more minutes before attempting to try again with your other overwhelming work. You pull out your study guides and try to focus on them, but you just can’t. Small tears well up in your eyes as your mind told you how much of a failure you are, but they never fall. Your body seems to be permitting the tears from falling and releasing the stress you were feeling. You stare at the study guides, then the book. Study guide, book, study guide, book, study guide book, the tears still brimming your eyes. Sighing, you stand up from your desk, retreating to your bed. Crawling under the warm covers and staring at the wall, evil thoughts flooding your mind.

You’re stupid. You’re not good enough. You’re going to fail. Are going to get out of bed fucking lazy bitch. You’re not good enough. You can’t even begin to do anything. You’re worthless. You’re stupid. You’re ugly. You’re fat. You’re not worth anyone’s time. You’re not good for anyone. You’re not good enough to be dating Katsuki. You’re not worth anything at all.

You stare and stare with blank, expressionless eyes, until you fall into a restless sleep. They were filled with nightmares, people you love dying, your younger sister crashing a car, Bakugo leaving you, the bakusquad pushing you away. And you wake up hours later feeling even worse than before. You spent all your time obsessing over yourself and sleeping, you were weak. You could never be a hero. You could never be anything important.

As you sit in your bed after waking, the thoughts coming back to torment you, Mina, Bakugo and Denki come up to your room, as they have been since Tuesday when you started shutting down due to the stress. They ask you if you are alright, to which you respond with a small, unconvincing smile, and force you to come down for dinner. You sit at the table silently, so different from your normal, energized self, moving your food around your plate thoughtlessly.

—

Bakugo takes notice and immediately starts to panic. He notices that you haven’t changed since class ended yesterday, and he finally registers how bad you’re feeling this time. He feels his hands slightly trembling at the thought of you being so stressed that you can’t function properly. All he wants to do is wrap you up in his arms and force you to eat, but he can’t, not in front of all these people, so he does what he does best. He channels his fear for you into anger.

—

“You haven’t eaten at all today, have you fuckface.” Bakugo whispers to you harshly, but his voice is filled with concern that you don’t let yourself notice.

You look over to him and see his “disappointment” in you, looking over the love and concern shining in his eyes, and your mind starts up again.

See I told you would only hurt Katsuki. You’re not good enough. Can’t even take care of yourself. How are you supposed to help him grow? How are you supposed to live up to his hero expectations?

You shake your head quickly, turning back to your plate to avoid meetings his angry, disappointed eyes.

—

“Then fucking eat dumbass.” He said, his voice getting increasingly louder, causing a few classmates to look up before returning to their former conversations.

His heart hurt so much seeing you like this, your usual upbeat, fun self was replaced an unresponsive, self-degrading version of you he never wanted to meet. He isn’t good at the comfort thing, so as long as he could get you to eat, he’ll feel better.

A tear slides down your cheek before you you quickly finish the meal Momo made for the class. You then immediately excuse yourself and rush back to your dorm. Katsuki’s eyes widen and he rushes up, going to go after you, but Mina holds him back, thinking that you need a few minutes to think before he goes in. He growls before yanking away his arm and making a slow trek to your room.

—

The tears are coming down faster and all you want is to crawl into your soft, comforting bed. Opening the door, you rush into your room and flop to your bed, curling around your favorite pillow, the tears now turning into sobs. The stress is leaving your body rapidly, but not fast enough. You are shaking and can’t breath, throat restricting you from the inside. Gasping for air, you grab at your throat begging it to let a single once of air slither in. Your body flings up, putting you into a sitting position, and you begin to rock back and forth. Shivers are shaking your body, trying to release the painful emotions inside. You hear a door open, but you don’t look over. All you can focus on is trying to breath, trying to get a breath of air in before you pass out.

“Shhhh, y/n, baby, it’s me.” Someone is whispering into your ear, their lips softly brushing against it.

You feel your body become slightly less tense at the comforting words they continue to say. But then you feel their arms wrap you and it’s happening again. They’re stopping your breathing and you begin to take in rough gasps. The person immediately let’s go at your change in attitude and instead squeezes you hand and pets your hair.

“Shhh, you’re ok. I’m here. Calm down.”

Your shaking becomes much slower.

“I’m here baby, I’m not going anywhere. Just breath, listen to me breath and do that for it.”

You lean into their touch, still gasping for air, one hand still on your neck, but you recognize the rough voice and caramel smell and can’t resist, even if you feel like you can’t breathe ever again.

“There you go, calm down. Y/n, I love you. It’s ok.”

You get in a breath, small but enough to calm you down more.

“Good job baby, in and out.”

Your breaths become more frequent and you feel Bakugo hesitantly put his arms around you. You sink into them and breath in his caramel scent, breathing becoming easier and easier again.

“I-I’m so sorry Katsu.” You cry out af the regaining your breath. You push to ur face into his chest and he pulls you into his lap. You hands move to his shirt and your squeezing the fabric.

“Why are you apologizing du-y/n?” He says annoyed, but blushing at the way your holding into him.

“I-“ a sob-induced hiccup floats passed you lips. “I’m not good enough for you. I’m weak and I can’t do anything right. I’m so sorry.” the words leave your mouth before you can think about them. You would never say something like that, hating sounding vulnerable or self-pitying, but right now you couldn’t stop the words from leaving your mouth.

—

Bakugo tenses up as the word leave your mouth. Not good enough for him, no he’s not good enough for you. The funny, smart, strong, kind-hearted y/n. His grip around you tightens in anger at how you decrease yourself.

“Shut the fuck up y/n, you’re perfect. We both know I wouldn’t have a problem telling you otherwise. I fucking love you, got that?” He growls out, his voice tight with repressed tears. He waits for your response but you say nothing. “Oi, answer me.”

You nod into his chest and and the tears slow. You stay like that, you tightly in his lap while he rubs slow circles on your back. He plays with your hair gently and never speaks, knowing that it’s not what was needed right now. He looks over and realizes that it’s already 9:14. Leans back slowly, still holding onto you, and flattens out. You squirm from his lap and instead nuzzle into his side.

“Goodnight dumbass.” He whispers into your head as he goes down to give you a kiss to the forehead.

“G’night Katsu.” You mutter back, into his arm.

“Oi, I’m gonna help you with your work tomorrow, got it.

You tense up slightly, before leaning back into him.

“Ok, Suki” you say, no fight leaving your mouth, seeing no reason to ruin a moment like this, ...and knowing that you needed someone to motivate you.

You both fall asleep cuddled up, and you finally rest without a single stress-induced nightmare.

A/N: ngl this is bad buuuut I want it because I’m stressed as fuck and need it soooo

The ending is trash

But like sorry for real because it kinda sucks a lot 🥲

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rokutouxei · 3 years

Text

like flashes of starlight

genshin impact | G | 4331 | ao3 link in bio xiao / aether

summary: Xiao’s entire existence is rooted in Liyue, all thousands of years of his life, and when he begins to develop a fondness for a traveler whose journey takes him farther than he can ever imagine, he finds himself seeing his much smaller world, its time and space, a little differently.

Liyue Harbor will always be in a state of flux—always changing, always inviting the newness of the world into its docks. History will paint it in vibrant colors, its most beautiful traditions alongside the innovations of ever-changing cultures. But to Xiao, Liyue will always be the same.

His Liyue. His to protect. Rex Lapis’ Liyue.

The fittings may change, but the core is the same.

When he’d first met the traveler, a thought crossed his mind that slowly embedded itself deep into his consciousness. Xiao knew with one glance that Aether was not of Teyvat. The way he held himself; the way he wielded his elemental powers; the mere energy of him was not human, or demon, for that matter. Aether felt like something different, like the night sky, broad and all-encompassing to those on the ground.

Had Xiao’s apprehension not superseded his curiosity, he would have asked: what does Liyue look like, to an outsider like you?

As a fellow outsider, do you see it as I do?

Rex Lapis’ decree is simple. Protect Liyue. Vanquish demons. Restore order through slaughter. Purge evil through battle. Nothing more, nothing less. The five yakshas' existence, purpose, and meaning all lie within that framework of being the weaponry by which Liyue is guaranteed safety.

As the last remaining of the five, despite being also assisted by the many remaining adepti, Xiao holds his mission close to his heart.

When the threat of Osial befalls Liyue, both the mortal millelith and Qixing, and the mighty, illuminated adepti come to the rescue. It is not easy to put aside their differences, but in the end they come together to fight for their nation, standing on top of the Jade Chamber, overlooking the monstrous water dragon haunting them all from the past. All are willing to fight until their deaths. But there is another one, standing on the battlefield, that does not need to be there—and yet is there—and does not back down despite every opportunity he gets.

Aether.

Aether is not of Liyue. Aether doesn’t even look like he’s from anywhere in Teyvat, for that matter, the true fittings of an actual wanderer, as if he were from an entirely different world of his own. And yet he is here. Bruised and still injured from a previous battle—he had heard the floating girl that they had come from the Golden House, and a battle with a Fatui Harbinger had led to the summoning of Osial—Aether still stands with the rest of them, ignoring any weariness from previous battles.

“What can I do?” he offers, and the adepti share a look at each other as if gauging the situation. They know. It is not exactly easy to hide that Aether is not like other travelers, other adventurers. They lend him their power. Slowly, gauging how much he can handle of their energies. They convene on the ballista, fighting Fatui and avoiding the strikes of the fallen god, water blasting them painfully.

At some point during the battle, Aether and Xiao meet back-to-back as they dodge from an attack. The former glances at the adeptus with an unreadable smile.

Xiao has long been used to being the strongest one on the battlefield, the one most proficient at killing. But with Aether here by his side—blocking and returning a strike, a Fatui agent dropping to the ground—there is a feeling that fills him about having someone near his equal, if not even stronger, fight with him.

Excitement? Thrill?

The tiniest bit of lax, like he would be safe with him?

So when the ballista cracks open with a particularly hard strike, and Aether has no choice but to obey gravity, Xiao does not fight the instinct to leap between debris to catch him before he lands on the ground.

Only a quiet tsk comes out of him once Aether is safely in his arms, to which the other’s gasp of surprise melts into a brief, sheepish grin.

He'd imagined the traveler would ease his murderous workload—not add to it. And right now, Liyue might be lucky to have a willing outsider to help them out in such a time of crisis, but like this… Xiao wonders if the nation will be any safer with a savior as reckless as him.

Aether calls it an offering out of jest. Xiao seems exasperated every time, but he does not reject the plate of almond tofu that gets offered to him anyway. Besides, it tastes different when it’s the traveler that makes it.

It is unfair in a way that Xiao hears ahead if Aether might pass by the Wangshu Inn—related to commissions from Verr Goldet or Huai’an, or perhaps from a brief sighting of him from the mountains of Liyue. But he finds it no sort of nuisance, because that only gives him more time to prepare himself to meet the traveler.

The plates of almond tofu, like all offerings to archons and adepti, are made with a wish in mind. Like this, Aether subtly asks for a sliver of time, a moment with some company other than his floating companion. And the Xiao before Osial, before saving Liyue, well, he would have turned him down, would have thanked him for the plate and then disappeared into the night, but—

Here, he does not.

Instead, he guides Aether up to the rooftop of Wangshu Inn. Here, the history of Liyue unfolds behind Xiao’s eyes, a history he knows like the back of his hand. Jueyun Karst to the left. Dihua Marsh to the right. And should the night be quieter, and Xiao allows himself to stand on the lower floor, there are the broken ruins in Guili Plains, where the war he had fought still rings clear.

Wangshu Inn fills his mind deafeningly with memories, but when Aether is there, all goes quiet.

Sometimes, Aether talks to him. Speaks to him of developments in his journey, or about a notable yet stray monster that he had fought with. Other times, it is mundane stories of his adventuring with Paimon. But a lot of times, Xiao’s company seems to be enough, Aether looking out at the view with an indistinct expression on his face.

It is in moments like these that Xiao recognizes something in Aether that he’s only ever seen in a mirror.

A deep welling of sadness. One that has been sharpened and smoothened and shaped by time.

Is this why Aether smiles at him like he understands his loneliness?

“My sister,” he said once, voice nearly just a whisper, “I’ve never been without her this long.” And that was it. No other explanation. He does not expound on what it means. It feels too heavy to say anything more than that. So when Aether leans his head against his shoulder, awake but not quite in his head, Xiao lets him, letting his questions disappear in an exhaled breath.

Eventually, if the Archons allow them, Aether will know of his secrets in time. And Xiao will know of his secrets in time.

Right now, it does not feel like it is his to ask.

But he can stay, he can keep watch, so that he does.

It isn’t that Xiao does not understand what draws the citizens of Liyue—and other nations as well—to the yearly celebration of Lantern Rite, it’s just that such a loud and joyous eruption of fervor has always had a different connotation to him, the one who protects Liyue from the monsters hiding in their shadows.

While Aether explores the newly-decorated streets of Liyue with the enthusiasm of a young tourist, streamers of red and lanterns bathing the city in a beautiful gold, Xiao looks over the harbor feeling like a foreigner. He hates the Lantern Rite. And not only because of the general adepti dislike of mortal life. Of course, he will never be one to complain about his duty, but the pain… The Lantern Rite is flashy and joyful—exacerbating the usual haze of the residual hatred of defeated gods.

On those days, Xiao finds no rest.

(Not that any kind of rest has ever been truly restful, not in what seems like ten thousand years.)

No room to breathe. Only the briefest of moments between fighting tainted monsters that spawn from the ground, his spirit black and blue and choking from corruption.

His one fear is what would happen to Liyue if one day, he becomes unable to fight?

When the karma that weighs down on him becomes too much for him to bear?

He has to continue to believe in his battle, lest he forgets it.

He sees the lanterns and chants to himself, like forcing himself to believe it:

It is worth it.

A camp of hilichurls reek blackness, slowly creeping into the territory of Wangshu Inn. There are innocent people there. As silently as possible, as to not draw any more attention, he quickly clears them, granting no mercy. Their anger dissipates from their bodies and sinks into his skin.

It is worth it.

Their eyes all black now, growling and hissing, a group of vengeful, corrupted treasure hoarder spirits track a caravan carrying stocks of food and materials on its way to Liyue Harbor. They promise sickness and death to whatever they touch. Before the driver and the millelith even notice him creeping by, the spirits are dealt with. When he breathes in, he feels them calling him unforgivable.

It is worth it.

He’s never been partial to crowded areas, not with his constitution being as it is. He’d rather be as far away from other people as possible, as to not bring any more danger than he already must. All of this human experience of the Lantern Rite—peeking in between stalls, checking wares, tasting the festival food, creating lanterns—are for individuals like the traveler.

There is evil out there to be cleansed, he does not have time for “merriment.”

Which is why he does not understand why Aether does not understand.

Why they insist to “bring the Lantern Rite to him”, serve him food that reminds him of sweet, sweet dreams. What they get out of dragging him all the way to the outskirts of Liyue Harbor, if only to overlook the Mingxiao lantern, a quiet reminder of a battle fought what feels like eons ago. The closer they get to the festivities, the more Xiao feels out of place, the more he wants to run.

But he does not, because Aether is by his side. And on the walk to the harbor, he asks Xiao about the Lantern Rite, as if he hasn’t heard about it before. Forces Xiao to form the words with his own mouth. Filling in the blanks when he no longer knows what to say; when he’s forgotten what it truly is now, to the people he is protecting, what happens on the stage while he is on the sidelines.

That the Lantern Rite is a celebration of the new year, a thanksgiving for the previous year’s joys, and a prayer in anticipation for the coming year’s blessings. That the Lantern Rite is a commemoration of its long past, its commercial hub status getting adorned with its intricate history, traders and storytellers coming together to speak of old wars and adepti and long-fallen gods.

Lanterns as beacons in the night, guiding bygone heroes back to their homeland.

Aether could be fair and say it as well, but he gives Xiao a taste of his own medicine and lets it sink in on its own.

This celebration is for you too, Xiao.

And when the traveler is long gone, he and Paimon in the streets of Liyue no doubt looking in awe and wonder at the culmination of the Lantern Rite festivities, Xiao sits on top of the mountainside on the outskirts watching Liyue light up with brilliance.

And he tells himself:

It’s worth it.

This is worth it.

Perhaps on the next Lantern Rite, Xiao wouldn’t mind taking a walk in the city with him.

No one prays to adeptus Xiao.

Not in the same way other adepti have served the citizens of Liyue, at the very least. There are no prayers of good tidings and great harvest; no pilgrimages made up to abodes to seek wisdom.

This has never bothered Xiao in the slightest, not in his hundreds of years of service.

It is better off this way. He doesn’t have what other adepti like Mountain Shaper or Cloud Retainer can offer, no knowledge and insight that he finds worth sharing. Even half-adepti like Ganyu would perhaps have more to give to a longing pilgrim.

The only thing Xiao can give is his executioner’s blow.

That doesn’t stop him from hearing them cry. Wishes for death from the most desperate, like silent bells tolling in the dead of the night. Demands for violence that are whispered into the traitorous air, reaching his ears without fail. They don’t have to speak his name for him to feel their prayers.

They twist, turn, mutate into the most horrible of requests, the hatred and miasma from old fallen gods corrupting even the most innocent of pleas, Xiao’s spear materializing in his hand as if on instinct, to kill, to eradicate, to cleanse, to kill kill kill kill—

This is why Xiao does not like to sleep.

Slumber means dropping his guard, letting the swirl of the voices take over him until he’s at his most vulnerable. Sleep is only more cause for trouble.

The yaksha soon learns, however, that sometimes, it is worth the spare openness; his emotions remaining unsaid and yet seen, somehow, because Aether is Aether. Xiao wonders if, to the traveler, he is transparent. Aether does not even flinch when Xiao misses to restrain the growl that crawls up his throat in response to the clamor of pain. Instead, the golden-haired boy readjusts where he’s resting his head on Xiao’s shoulder, and reaches the small distance to place his hand on his. Rubs two, three gentle lines with his thumb on the back of the adeptus’ hand before he promptly falls back into slumber, a well-deserved afternoon nap after a long morning of commissions.

Xiao’s spear dematerializes without a sound.

And, equally quietly, loud in its silence, Xiao rests his head against Aether’s, and closes his eyes.

Anger is not an emotion Xiao would associate with Aether, and yet here they are, at the highest peak of Qingce Village in the late afternoon, after he had asked Xiao if he knew someplace quiet where they would not be interrupted.

“I don’t understand,” he says, sat down with his arms on his knees, his head on his arms, curled up in a ball. Xiao stands next to him with his arms crossed over his chest, listening patiently. “She didn’t want to. …I’d finally found her, and yet…” There lingers the quiet kind of anger, voice calm yet cold. On the inside, Aether is trembling with irritation and swaying with dismay. The backlash of betrayal. “We’ve been separated for more than five hundred years.”

I’ve never been without her this long.

For what seems like an eternity after that, Aether is quiet. Understandably so. This is none of Xiao’s concern, at least not in the sense where he would have the duty to step in, and yet the chaos of it is one he could only ascribe to be some sort of nightmare. Perhaps similar to the ones he gets often. He imagines Aether’s world turned cleanly upside down—those he had considered his greatest allies now potentially his worst enemies; and that he had thought was his enemy is under the hand of the one person he trusts the most in the entire universe.

It is heavy.

In the silence, Xiao recalls when there were still five yakshas around. How the mist of karmic pain that entangled around them for eons of dutiful slaughter had begun to choke them, turn them into twisted versions of themselves. He had seen each of them fall from being unable to tolerate the agony.

He worries the same might happen to Aether. He worries that when that happens, he will only be able to watch, the same way he did back then.

That he would have to be the last resort to slay him.

It is only when the sun is long out of the sky when Aether speaks again, his voice hoarse as if he’d been screaming, sobbing openly—“I want to go home.”

Xiao… places a comforting hand over Aether’s shoulder. He knows that Aether would have been ready to go in a heartbeat. That Teyvat and Khaenri’ah are nothing but a blip in the grand canvas of his journeys. And that, unlike him, all permanent miasma and choking with his feet sunk into the ground, unable to move, forever rooted in Teyvat, in Liyue, in his karma, Aether has and always will be like flashes of starlight, beautiful and faint and gone in a moment.

That he would be gone before Xiao learns how to miss him.

The only question the yaksha has is, when he finally goes, if he would take the rest of Xiao’s heart with him.

He would have pulled a classic “foolish mortals” had he known no better about Aether’s own expansive lifetime. Like this, then, perhaps they are the same in their foolishness. At least the citizens of Liyue know better than to acquaint with him, their guardian whose only strength is in pursuing death. They hear the mere word of him and they scutter in the opposite direction. It is better that way. It is safer that way.

But Aether does not, and now it is too late.

Xiao stays up late wondering how much of what has befallen Aether is from him. How much of it is his own karma, spread by their bond—whatever sense he may make out of it—and leading to the other’s pain? Aether complains of nightmares, of being in that domain and calling out for his sister, only to be pushed back, thrown off, like he had never been wanted in the first place.

So Xiao sets up for an apology for what he has done, the least he can do for spreading the black miasma that surrounds him into someone unrelated like Aether, but the latter only throws him a look of confusion that slowly evolves into a now-familiar, cryptic smile.

“Why would I want to sever it?” Aether asks, “I’ve never thought of that, Xiao.”

Xiao is quiet, too dumbfounded to say another word.

So instead, Aether puts his hands over his hips and says, “When I am in Liyue, you make me strong, Xiao, knowing you are out here protecting the land as well. I have no regrets about being close to you.”

Then stay, Xiao nearly says.

“What does Liyue look to you,” Xiao finally asks, though he intones it not quite like a question, like he’s still apprehensive about it. Aether turns back toward him, all gold eyes and hair, stars in the night sky.

“Beautiful,” the traveler answers immediately, as if he had long thought of it that way. “Rich in its history, steeped in tradition. And with guardians that look after it long after the people have forgotten them in time. It’s a stunning nation.”

Then stay.

“I know you keep yourself all wrapped in secrecy for the people, but—think about it, everything they do is in debt to you.”

“A debt that does not need to be repaid,” Xiao says. “I only follow through Rex Lapis’ original decree.”

“And that’s exactly why it’s so praiseworthy.” Aether nods to himself. “It’s a negative cycle where only you bear all the consequences. Had they known about you—should they still honor you the way they did then—they would see you as the hero that you are, Xiao. As the hero I see you as.”

Then stay.

Yanxiao avoids eye contact with Xiao but does not hesitate in giving Aether a judgmental look when he orders a plate of almond tofu for breakfast. What the cook doesn’t know is that it’s a reward for a restless night of nightmares, and an apology for a friendship that has always been wanted.

For the something more that cannot be claimed.

As they share the plate of sweet dreams, Xiao realizes, while looking at Aether enjoying a bite, that one day, like everything else that has happened in the past, he might be able to forgive himself—forgive Aether—for what they have done to each other. No grudge can last a thousand years. And should the thousand years pass—well, Aether would have been long gone, and Xiao knows better than to dig himself an even deeper grave for his sorrows.

Xiao has lived more than a thousand years in the loneliness, where there is only his spear and his darkness, but now, bathed in starlight, he feels lost and ill at ease. Perhaps, in a different life, things would not have ended this way, and there would have been compromises to be made, and there would have been promises to be kept. He considers the possibility of a universe where that occurs, if it would be better, if it would be worse.

The young-seeming adeptus searches his heart, only to find no answers.

The prowess of that one mortal Beidou is not one that has escaped Xiao, and once Aether informs him that she would be allowing him safe passage into the closed country of Inazuma, Xiao is certain the traveler would be alright. It doesn’t entirely ease his worries, however, so once the day of departure arrives, he slips into the nearby Guyun Stone Forest to observe the ship as it prepares to sail away.

His mind is so clouded he doesn’t hear Aether approaching him from behind.

“Xiao?”

The adeptus feels a pang in his chest in the other’s tone of surprise; on the other hand, a breeze of thankfulness fills his heart—perhaps he is less see-through than he’d once thought. He turns to the golden-eyed boy with his usual blank face, hoping his mask does not break.

Paimon speaks before he can. “Are you here to say goodbye, Xiao?”

“Hmph.” If he was, he would need more coaxing to admit it. “I wanted to see to it the ship wouldn’t sink before you’ve even left Liyuen premises.”

Aether smiles like he knows what that sentence really meant. Xiao wonders if Aether really understands, or he just likes to believe it is that way. “Thank you.”

He’d promised once, after all, that he would protect Aether, hear his call, for as long as he is in Liyue. Anywhere beyond there… is entirely out of his jurisdiction.

“You know,” Paimon begins, crossing her small arms over her chest, “Paimon thinks it would be great if Xiao came with us. Then I wouldn’t be worrying so much about you getting in weird stuff, Aether.”

Xiao gets interrupted before he can reply. “That wouldn’t be a nice thing to ask, Paimon,” he explains, patting the fairy’s head gently before turning to Xiao. “Liyue is Xiao’s home, he belongs here. I can’t take that away from him—and him away from Liyue. Don’t you think, Xiao?”

Home, huh?

Two pairs of gold eyes meet, and in the other, Xiao sees a longing that he wonders is what foolish mortals would call love.

“May your journeys allow you to reach your sister soon,” is, instead, what Xiao settles with, and Aether pulls out another one of his cryptic smiles. Like he hears the Thank you. Like he hears the Liyue—and I—will always be here. Like he understands the I hope you, too, reach and return to that place where you belong.

Like he knows this is a goodbye, but of a different sort.

Xiao is too far from where they are to be visible when the two get on the ship. They wave vaguely in his direction, his attention called back by a whisper of his name in a familiar voice, carried by the sea breeze. Xiao watches as the anchor gets hoisted, the sails opened, and the ship begins to make its way into the great sea. Once it is out of his sight, he has no way to find out if Aether will be alright.

At dusk, the stars are beginning to come out, perfect for wayfinding. Its deep blueness is all-encompassing, as if cradling Xiao in familiar darkness.

The adeptus raises his head to the wide sky. The god he has worshipped is dead. Only Archons know where his pleas will end up in. But even if he does not know who will hear his wishes, for Aether—he prays.

Time is a silly thing. At first, a day feels like a hundred years, and then, a hundred years pass by in what feels like mere days.

What felt like the entire world once is now but a passing memory.

Liyue Harbor will always be in a state of flux—always changing, always inviting the newness of the world into its harbors. History will paint it in vibrant colors, its most beautiful traditions alongside the innovations of ever-changing cultures. But to Xiao, Liyue will always be the same.

Once, there was a traveler that roamed the landscape of Liyue, changing it and influencing it wherever he went. Shifting its colors; turning it upside down; leaving his stardust on it.

Liyue will always be the same.

The same harbor.

The same rooftop on Wangshu inn.

The same cliffside in Qingce.

The places Xiao went to, trying to understand what Liyue looked like to one who had come from the heavens, looking down.

The traveler he wished on stars to.

Xiao still finds him everywhere, in things beautiful and faint and gone in a moment.

#genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #xiaoaether #xiaoether #fic

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

Text

Flash Villains: Who’s The Most Evil?

Like all heroes, the Flash’s villains vary widely in terms of threat level, motivation, and level of malice. Unlike most heroes, Flash is relatively unique insofar as most of his villains aren’t especially malicious. However, that doesn’t mean that all of them are sympathetic.

The most malicious Flash villains, to my mind, are probably Eobard Thawne (aka Professor Zoom the Reverse-Flash), Gorilla Grodd, Cicada, and Murmur. Eobard is a predatory stalker and has caused more personal harm to Barry than anyone else, Grodd is a sadist who wants world domination, Cicada led a cult that murdered hundreds, and Murmur is a creepy serial killer. None of them have ever displayed any signs of remorse or real humanity (and yes, I recognize the inherent meaninglessness of saying a gorilla has no humanity; I couldn’t think of another term.)

Blacksmith, Abra Kadabra, and Girder the rusty rapist are also pretty high on the list. Kadabra is frighteningly unhinged and has very little regard for human life. Blacksmith organized a plot to take over the entire city and arranged for such things as framing Hartley for his parents’ murder and convincing Jay and Joan that Joan was dying of cancer. She also pointlessly killed Rainbow Raider, who posed zero threat to her. And Girder is...well...a rapist. Besides being angry and creepy around women, he has no other noticeable personality traits, so he’s pretty easy to hate. I guess Plunder would also fall around here, though he had so little page time that I have a hard time getting a good read on his personality.

Beyond this point, things start getting complicated. While Grodd, Eobard, and Kadabra are almost always portrayed as malicious and dangerous, and Blacksmith, Girder, Murmur, Cicada, and Plunder were really only ever written by one person (at least in major roles), how malicious the other villains are varies widely between writers.

That being said, Hunter Zolomon (Zoom) and Thaddeus Thawne (Inertia) would probably fall just below Plunder on the list. Zoom is hard to rank, because while his actions are often heinous, he seems to be legitimately mentally ill; to the point where I think he’s one of the very few supervillains who could successfully use the insanity defense in real life. He honestly believes that what he’s doing is helping Wally....but his actions are still incredibly disturbing. It’s also worth noting that he’s much less evil under Geoff Johns than he was when he finally made his reappearance during the relatively recent War of the Flash arc. His level of actual malice was so much higher there, in fact, that at points he seemed like a different character entirely. Inertia, while a serious threat, was portrayed somewhat sympathetically in his appearances in the Impulse comic, but was subsequently portrayed as an Eobard-level psychopath in the Flash: The Most Terribly Written Man Alive and nearly all subsequent stories (his most recent major appearance, written by Joshua Williamson, is an exception). Because of this inconsistency, I can’t move him any higher or lower on the list.

Of the Rogues proper, the most malicious ones are, in no particular order, the Top, Captain Boomerang, Sr., Mirror Master II, and the Golden Glider. The Top is unique insofar as he was basically always portrayed as one of the most dangerous Rogues. In his first appearance, he tried to blow up half the world (though he seemed more than a little uncharacteristically unhinged in that story, so it’s possible that he wasn’t all there during that escapade), he tried to blow up the city when he died, he possessed the body of Barry’s father, he tried to take over the country by becoming president, he tried to kill the mayor to take over the city (though he was definitely mentally ill during this story), and he generally caused havoc during the Rogue War. He’s by far the most conventionally ambitious of the group.

Evan McCulloch, the second Mirror Master, is not especially malicious when written by his creator, Grant Morrison (he refuses to kill women and children, readily works with the Justice League when Batman promises to donate money to his old orphanage, and seems to bear no dislike for Wally or any other hero). However, when other people write him, he’s usually one of the most malicious Rogues. During Mark Waid’s run, he was depicted as an abusive stalker; during Geoff Johns’ run, he racked up an enormous body count and was responsible for the death of Piper’s parents. Why this is, I have no idea, but it’s still enough to put him fairly high on the list.

Captain Boomerang, Sr.’s level of malice jumped noticeably after Crisis on Infinite Earths. Pre-Crisis, he actually came across as one of the least malicious of the bunch, but when John Ostrander started using him on Suicide Squad, he became a disgusting, racist, sexist, foulmouthed, selfish, cowardly, abrasive, treacherous, boorish disaster of a human being...and he’s been that way ever since.

Golden Glider is bizarre, as she’s one of the very few villains whose level of malice actually seemed to decrease over time without them actually outright reforming. In her Bronze Age appearances, she was absolutely terrifying; targeting Barry’s wife and parents and pursuing revenge with a level of single-minded determination that would make Batman impressed. (Barry even canonically compared her to Batman during this period!) While she was more sympathetic than, say, Eobard, by virtue of the fact that she genuinely loved and grieved for Roscoe, she was still incredibly malicious. After Barry’s death, the writers seemed unsure of what to do with her. I enjoyed her semi-reformed period under Messner-Loebs, but after that things just fell apart until her eventualy pointless death. Geoff Johns portrayed her as more of a victim than anything, and since Flashpoint, she’s actually seemed to be one of the least malicious Rogues. It’s very odd.

Weather Wizard would probably be next. He’s had a few acts of humanity and a few more acts of unusual malice, but on the whole, he’s generally somewhere in the middle of the Rogues in terms of level of malice. He also doesn’t seem to vary too much between writers.

Axel Walker, the second Trickster, was very malicious during the early period of Geoff Johns’ run (tying bombs to homeless people-yikes!), but gradually became more sympathetic over time as he started to realize he was in over his head. Post-Flashpoint, he’s been one of the least malicious of the bunch, probably since he’s just a kid. It’s still strange to compare his appearances under Johns to his post-Flashpoint appearances, though, since they’re noticeably different.

The first Mirror Master, Sam Scudder, probably falls near or below Axel. Since most of his major appearances were pre-Crisis, he’s really never succeeded in doing anything particularly heinous, and when compared to, say, Roscoe or Bronze Age Golden Glider, he’s usually not planning anything nearly as damaging.

Captain Cold is one of the least malicious Rogues; he’s the one to enforce their codes and generally seems to avoid causing harm to people if he can help it. He can definitely be hypocritical, and he’s shockingly brutal at times, but on the whole he’s one of the most restrained and moral members of the group. Heat Wave is probably one the same level as Cold. For a long time, he was one of, if not the, least malicious Rogues, but since the pyromania retcon, he’s gradually become more and more unhinged and violent. Furthermore, even though Captain Cold and Heat Wave are traditionally among the least malicious of the Flash’s villains, for some reason they both seem to have become much worse since Flashpoint happened, with Captain Cold becoming much more of a brutal ganglord than he was pre-Flashpoint and Heat Wave’s remorse over his pyromania seeming to all but disappear at times.

Fallout probably falls about here. He’s more of a passive danger than an active one, and he doesn’t seem to mean anyone harm.

The first Trickster, James Jesse, is usually comparatively harmless, even reforming and managing to do an impressive amount of good during the 1990s. He even saved the world from Neron! That being said, when he finally reappeared after a decade-long disappearance, he suddenly became much more like his TV self than the traditional comic book version of James Jesse, to the the point where it almost felt like he’d been replaced by the Joker. I wasn’t really a fan of the arc where he came back. While I was glad to see him brought back from limbo, I didn’t really want to see him brought back as a psychopath who brainwashes the entire city.

Peek-a-Boo only turned to crime to try to save her father and legitimately didn’t seem to mean any harm to anyone.

Finally, the Pied Piper has been the most reformed, and therefore least malicious, of the group since the late 1980s. Since his reformation, he’s done almost as much to help the Twin Cities as the Flashes. However, it’s interesting that his reformation was immediately preceded by the period at which he was the most malicious: the never-ending Trial of Barry Allen arc. During that arc, he actually attempted to hypnotize the mayor into committing suicide! However, since then, the Piper has been pretty solidly on the side of the angels (his stupid appearances in the Flash: The Most Badly Written Man Alive notwithstanding).

#flash rogues #dc comics #long post #flash comics

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tsukifanbase · 4 years

Text

Obey Me! Brothers Realize They Don’t Want M/C to Leave Devildom

Authors Note: aaaaaa not much to say here except.... enjoy!

Warnings: fluffffyyyy, lil bit angsty but like so is all of my writing hehe, nothin too bad

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Lucifer:

- idk i feel like luci already kinda suspected he had fallen head over heels for you

- i alsoo feel like he probably tried to push you away after he noticed you had stolen his heart

- never fear though, dear (m/c)! because lucifer didn’t quite account for how difficult it would be distance himself, either because you kept popping up at just the right time or because he subconsciously missed you :)

- anywhosie roll the tape lol

- lucifer vaguely wondered where all the time had gone

- just a few moments before, he was grinding through a ton of paperwork for your return to the human realm, and it hit him like a ton of bricks

- you were leaving

- it stunned luci, sure, he had known you were leaving at some point, and he was literally signing papers confirming that very fact, but it hadn’t quite clicked for him yet

- for a moment, he felt no sadness about your leaving, only shock and confusion

- not about how fast the past year had moved, more so, luci found himself hating the thought of not having you by his side

- it stunned him, keep in mind, all this time luci thought he was keeping you at a distance, when in reality, maybe you were so easy to love that he hadn’t even noticed when he let you get closer

- lucifer snapped out of it, and glanced around his office, his eyes landing back on the paperwork that he had abandoned

- the date printed across the paper was the same one he had memorized so long ago, the day you were leaving

- luci pushed himself away from his desk, and practically ran walked quickly to your bedroom

- you didn’t notice when he walked into the room, you were distracted, staring at a framed photo of the brothers and you at some event you went to in the past

- you were smiling, and lucifer felt himself melt when he saw that

- and in that moment, it didn’t matter that luci used to see you as a distraction

- because he realized that he loved you

- and with that new knowledge, his next move came easily

- after all, lucifer would never allow someone he loved so dearly to ever slip through his fingers, ever again

- “lucifer?”, your voice broke his train of thought, he was smirking at you, you weren’t quite sure when he had begun observing you, it wasn’t that you really minded though

-”is something troubling you?”, although he had that flippin gorgeous smile spread across his lips, you always had a knack at knowing when something was wrong

- lucifer didn’t stop smirking, but he made his way over to you

- “may i?”, luci gestured for you to hand him the photo, which you did pretty much immediately

- luci lifted the photo up closer so he could see you better, and then he chuckled as he handed the item back to you

- he pointed at mammon, “i seem to recall having to pour my drink on him that day”, lucifer chuckled to himself

- you looked surprised for a second, then squinted your eyes at mammon in the photo, his shirt was half drenched in an unknown, red liquid

- “i always wondered how he got soaked!”, luci smiled at you, then crossed his arms knowingly

- “do you want to know why?”, lucifer’s eyes remained glued on you, you were seemingly caught off guard, you then nodded

- “why?”, you asked, tilting your head slightly

- “he planned to ask you to dinner with him that evening”, luci seemed embarrassed for a moment, then his smirk returned

- “so why did that warrant getting a drink poured on him?”, you questioned, and lucifer took him eyes off you for the first time since he had entered the room, he sighed, then brought his gaze back to yours

- “because i recognized how much i hated sharing someone that was mine”, he chuckled, a light pink spreading across his cheeks, “especially with mammon”

- now i wish i could say you looked shocked, you didn’t, you looked smug as hell lolol

- “i don’t want you to return to the human realm”, lucifer lightly picked up your hand that wasn’t holding the photograph, he figured he would be straightforward

- you grinned at him

- “then i guess i’m not going back to the human realm”

Mammon:

- okay okay so lets be real here we all flippin knew mammon had a crush on you

- that included mammon actually

- he didn’t suppress his feelings like luci, in fact mammon had always been pretty open about the fact that he liked you, a lot

- mammon also realized you were leaving soon

- and that put faze one of his plan into action

- his logic was pretty flawed on this one y’all, but mammon figured, you couldn’t leave if hypothetically your transfer papers weren’t signed, or you were late for school that day, orrrr... i think you can see where i’m going with this

- mammon was determined, he would not let you leave devildom that day

- and that brings us to you, an hour late for school already, because your alarm hadn’t gone off

- you pulled on your uniform, and double checked that all your bags were packed, before making a mad dash out of the house of lamenation

- you checked your watch as you ran to the school, yes, you had definitely missed most of first period, but as long as you were in the school by the end of the day, you would be returning to the human realm without an issue

- or so you thought, turns out mammon had a million different things planned to keep you by his side indefinitely

- he had bribed your first period teacher to give you detention for being tardy, since he knew the teacher probably would have let you off the hook, seeing as it was your last day

- and yes, mammon spending his money on someone other than himself was usually unheard of, but who can say? desperate times call for desperate measures

- sometime before lunch hour, you wandered into the bathroom, making sure you looked decent, after all, you hadn’t really been able to check your appearance that morning

- in the mirror behind you, you saw three lower class demons wander into the restroom, giving you an evil smile that you just knew meant you would be late to your next period

- it was then that you realized something abnormal was clearly wrong

- the demons that had entered after you hadn’t said anything, nor made any more to hurt you, they simply stood by the door, knowing you weren’t going to take any chances with trying to get past

- they were keeping you in there, so what was their motivation?

- someone must’ve put them up to it

- eventually you were able to leave, the demons seemingly lost interest, you sighed and made your way to detention- it took place during lunch hour

- you took your seat in detention, and after a bit, you heard your teacher, that was supposed to be monitoring you, leave the room

- the teacher didn’t return, and the bell for your next class rung

- you walked over to the door, and attempted to open it

- the door was jammed

- because of course it was

- instead of yelling for help, you sighed and pulled out your phone

- you had a pretty good idea of who could’ve been behind all the bad things that had happened to you that day

- your phone barely rang once, before mammon picked up

- “hey, (m/c), what’s up?”, you could almost feel the nervousness dripping off his voice

- “mammon, why am i locked in a classroom right now?”, you replied, and just as you could hear mammon’s nerves, he could nearly hear the absolutely terrifying, ‘im gonna kill you’, smile that you had on your face

- mammon chuckled nervously, “sorry (m/c)! it’s for your own good!”, then he hung up

- you scowled at your phone, then went to call levi to tell him to come let you out

- it was pretty clear that mammon didn’t expect to see you sitting in your last class of the day, one of the classes the two of you shared

- he walked in with a big, smug smile on his face, which very quickly turned to a look of surprise, then fear

- mammon nearly walked out of the classroom, luckily the teacher was there to drag him back in by his jacket

- he sat down next to you, and attempted to pretend like nothing was wrong

- “hiya (m/c)! how’s my favorite human’s day been?”, you stared at him blankly

- the teacher still hadn’t started the lecture yet, so it gave mammon time to finally admit and explain his master plan to you

- he was sheepishly glancing away from you by the time he was done whisper rambling, he mumbled out a quick and quiet, “’m sorry, okay?”

- the teacher finally started lecturing the class about devildom history of something, when you broke out into a fit of quiet laughter

- mammon completely disregarded the teacher, blushing furiously, he thought you were laughing at him

- “hey it’s not that funny”, he pouted a bit before you seized your laughter, and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself

- “you know you could’ve just asked right?”, you giggled a bit after you whispered that to him

- “huh?”, that caught mammon off guard

- “you could’ve just asked me to stay here with you”, pink dusted your cheeks, “i like you too mammon”

- you just killed him good job

Leviathan:

- ok ok ok levi is bb

- it took a little while for levi to actually trust you

- cos we all know that it takes a while for babe to warm up to people

- but hun when he finally does start wanting to be around you, you can bet that you’re his new bff

- it’s so cute like

- by the end of your stay in the devildom, you’re hanging out with levi pretty much every day (i say pretty much bc he is an introvert, he likes his alone time, so while you spend most of your time together, expect that he’s gonna want to be by himself sometimes)

- anyways

- you two got to know each other really well through hanging out so much, and levi caught feelings really quickly

- you were the first real person to ever show interest in the things he liked, and the first person to really listen to him

- you were kind to him, and also assured him that you enjoyed your time spend together, even when levi tried to insist you would never want to hang out with a yucky otaku

- so that brings us to the day you had to leave

- you had spent the morning in levi’s room, and had noticed that he was being clingier than usual (although ‘clingier than usual’ for levi literally just means that he was sitting like an inch closer to you than usual lol)

- the two of you were just about to beat the final boss in your favorite video game

- you hadn’t really noticed how much levi was staring at you, after all, your focus was completely trained on something else

- but i assure you, levi found himself glancing at you every few seconds, almost like he was trying to make sure you were still there

- it flustered him, and levi found himself blushing at the thought, but he cared for you more then he ever could have imagined

- remember, levi hadn’t ever really had a true friend, other than henry, of course

- he had been lonely for so long, and now that he had someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life beside, who could blame him for not wanting to let you out of his sight?

- and while that could’ve been deemed as possessive, it seemed levi was just acting out of fear

- he was afraid, because he really didn’t want to see you go

- you dealt the final blow to the boss, causing the credits for the game to roll, and you let out a sigh of relief

- you turned to grin at levi, and give him a high five in celebration, you lowered your hand when you noticed that levi was already staring at you

- his expression not quite blank, levi looked sad

- “levi?”, you tilted your head at him curiously, that seemed to snap him back to reality, and caused a deep red blush to settle on his face

- you smiled briefly before standing up to put the controller on a side table

- “is something wrong, levi?”, you turned back towards him to ask your question, “you’re not exactly as happy as i thought you would be after beating that boss”, you giggled to yourself when levi covered his blush with his hand, he was probably embarrassed that you had noticed

- “no, nothing’s wrong”, you could barely hear him, he was mumbling

- you went back over to where levi was sitting, kneeling so you were at his level

- “you’re sure that nothing is wrong?”, you placed a hand on levi’s knee in a soothing manner, his blush deepened, any physical contact usually did that to him

- levi was covering his face with both his hands now, then he said something, his speech was muffled by his hands, you couldn’t make out what he said

- he huffed, then dropped his hands from his face to cross his arms across his chest

- “could you stay with me?”, levi whispered, “please?”, this time you heard him clearly, and you smiled in a way that made him go fuzzy

- you carefully raised one of your hands up to levi’s cheek, cupping his face, then you pressed a kiss to his other cheek

- “i thought you’d never ask”

Satan:

- okay so pretty much here’s the run down

- satan typically wasn’t one to share his reading time with anyone else

- while it was extremely easy to ignore outside distractions while he was concentrating on a book, satan still preferred to read in isolation

- something about the calming atmosphere, no other care in the world but his book, it was satan’s getaway from the hectic life he lived

- he never was willing to share that getaway until he found you reading in the library about a week into your stay in the devildom

- it was the first time that he wasn’t even remotely annoyed by another person’s presence during his reading session

- of course you weren’t silent, but he found himself comforted by your being there

- ever since that point, it was pretty common to find the two of you reading in the library together

- although satan found himself drawn to you even when neither of you were reading, sometimes he would find himself sitting on the edge of your bed, doing his schoolwork while you played a game on your d.d.d.

- if satan was being honest with himself, you were probably the first person he had never gotten angry with

- you never gave him any reason to get upset, and he adored that about you

- you were like a breath of fresh air

- that brings us to the evening before your departure

- you had slipped into satan’s room while he was sitting at his desk doing schoolwork, he noticed you entered, but it was so normal for the two of you to seek each other that he really didn’t feel the need to comment on it

- you settled yourself on his bed, and quickly lost yourself in your book, not noticing when satan would occasionally peer back at you over his shoulder

- it was probably about an hour after you had entered the room that satan finished up the paper he was writing

- he glanced over at the clock, internally sighing at how late it had gotten, then he turned in his chair to look over at you

- you had your head propped up on your hands, but your eyes were closed, and your breathing steady- you were asleep

- satan walked over to where you were lying on his bed, lightly taking your book from you and placing it on the bedside table, before he pulled the covers over you

- satan sat down on the bed beside you, carefully, so he wouldn’t wake you

- he smiled when you mumbled something in your sleep, and moved a strand of your hair from your face

- “i wish you wouldn’t leave me yet, my dear”, satan turned away from you to turn the lamp off, allowing the room to be engulfed in darkness

- “so who do i ask to rip up my transfer papers?”

Asmodeus:

- hmmm well we all know that asmo adored you in every way

- he finally had someone to go shopping with! someone who wouldn’t eat his things or steal everything once he paid

- the two of you were pretty much inseparable, it was cuttteee

- you were a regular on his social media, and all his fans loved you just as much as he did

- asmo insisted on helping you do your makeup and choose your outfit one day early in your stay, and from that day on, it was pretty normal for him to burst into your room each morning to help your fashion game

- and pretty soon he was taking you to all his favorite shops and treating you to delightful food (he wanted to take pictures of it for his fans)

- the day you were supposed to leave the devildom, asmo woke you early, as if this were just any other day

- he decided to treat you to a special going away shopping trip, and said that anything you desired was as good as yours

- let’s get to the scene!

- asmo was holding up a shirt that was exactly your style, he had always been good at picking things you liked

- needless to say, you weren’t really focused on the shirt, and asmo would’ve been delighted to know that he was clouding your mind

- you didn’t want to leave the devildom, not only because you had come to see the brothers as family, but because you didn’t want to leave asmo

- all the time you had spent together had made you realize just how much you cared for him, and you were pretty much just waiting for asmo to ask you to stay

- “hmm? what’s this? my dear (m/c) you’re not getting distracted by my beauty, are you?”, he teased, glancing over the shirt before placing it back on the clothing rack.

- pink spread across your cheeks, and you shook your head, before going to look through the accessories

- you were close enough that you heard what he said next

- asmo let out a deep sigh, “i just can’t seem to focus today, knowing that i won’t be able to shop with my dear anymore”

- you turned to face him quickly, speaking before either of you really recognized what you said, “then why don’t i stay?”, you covered your mouth after those words slipped past your lips

- you looked up at asmo nervously, and found him staring back at you with utter awe, then it turned to joy

- asmo dropped whatever clothing he was holding and ran over to hug you, his grin brightening the room

- “do you really mean it?”, asmo asked hopefully, to which you nodded, and he squeezed you into another hug, you sunk into his embrace

- “i’m so glad”

Beelzebub:

- ok other than asmo, i think beel was probably the fastest to warm up to you

- although that could’ve been because of your talent with cooking (honestly you could just be making box mac and cheese and beel would still love that you were cooking for him XD)

- it was probably a few days into your stay when beel was casually complaining about being hungry, he was usually ignored by his brothers when his stomach rumbled, so needless to say, he was a little bit surprised when you offered to make him something

- he nodded, followed you to the kitchen, and boom you got yourself a lovable, hungry boy as your new bff

- from then beel pretty much came to you ever time he was hungry between meals, because while he could make himself food, he enjoyed your company and honestly just liked it when you cooked for him

- that means we talkin about midnight snacks, brunch like every day, afternoon meal, you and beel were spending a lot of time together

- beel started coming to you not only because he was hungry, but because he wanted to see you

- you would tell him stories about the human world and about your life while you made cooked, and beel started to love the faraway look in your eye as you reminisced

- he found himself drawn to you, your familiarity, something about you felt like home, although he wouldn’t have put it that way

- beel only realized that he liked being around you, and when he found out you would be leaving him soon, he only seeking you out more

- you guys were sitting in the kitchen, it was early in the morning, before breakfast

- you were making pancakes, still rubbing the traces of sleep from your eyes

- little did you know, that was probably the first time ever that beel didn’t really feel like eating, and he zoned out staring at a pancake thinking about that very fact

- if he wasn’t hungry, then why did he ask you to cook for him? why did he seek you out, and wake up early to go ask you to do something that wasn’t necessary?

- “beel?”, you asked, noticing that the pancake you had set in front of him a few minutes prior was still untouched

- you walked over to where beel was sitting and placed a hand on his shoulder gently, he felt himself relax into your touch, “are you okay?”, you asked him quietly, you were just a tad bit concerned that he wasn’t eating, you had never seen a piece of food survive in front of him for more than three seconds before

- and just like that, beel spoke before he even truly realized what plaguing his mind himself

- “can you stay in the devildom?”

- you stared at him in brief surprise before your face broke into a smile

- “sure, if you eat the pancakes i made you”

Belphegor:

- ok ok ok ok so we all know that belphie had some trouble with humans when he first met you

- butttt as soon as you two became friends, he started noticing all the things he used to love about humans, all within you

- you found joy in little things, lived your life taking on every new challenge, one after the other gracefully

- you were empathetic, and it always stunned him, but you never got angry with belphie after he tricked you

- if anything, you treated belphie with more kindness than he deserved, because you recognized that he tricked you, and kinda sorta tried to kill you, because he was in pain

- because he needed to blame someone else for his sister’s demise, so it wouldn’t break him

- anyways, once belphie began trusting you, he wanted to be around you constantly which you were totally okay with haha

- you reminded him of someone who was dear to him once, and it made him want to stay by your side forever

- okkkk so needless to say, belphie was 1000% a bad influence on you haaa

- like he was clever enough to get away with things he shouldn’t have gotten away with

- for example, lazy boyo was lazy, so he would show up to class late pretty much every day

- however, unlike other students, belphie would just kinda appear in his seat at some point during the class

- it made the teacher question if they were going crazy or if belphie had just been there all along and they hadn’t noticed

- like the teacher would literally do a double take, like they’re scanning the room to ask someone a question and their eyes land on belphie, and they just go, ‘hang on’

- you rarely saw belphie doing his school work, yet he would always have perfect grades

- anyways back to the original point

- belphie had curious ways of getting what he wanted, and that was no different the day you were scheduled to leave

- the two of you were sleeping, it was nearly noon, and you had been contemplating your escape from belphie’s arms for the past hour

- you had to be at RAD by the end of the school day, and at that rate, you would have missed the goodbye ceremony completely

- so it was either risk upsetting diavolo, prince of the devildom, or your sweet, sleepy boy

- you decided to take your chances with the one you knew better, and began the process of removing yourself from belphie’s grasp

- you took a deep breath of relief once you were out of bed

- it wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy cuddling with belphie, deep down you probably wished you could stay curled up with him forever, but you knew that you had to leave

- you wandered into the bathroom connect to belphie’s room, and started brushing your teeth

- when you finished brushing, you turned back towards the bathroom door, where belphie was leaning, rubbing his eyes and yawning

- you froze, and then you gave belphie a guilty smile, “good morning, bel”

- belphie crossed his arms, “where do you think you’re going?”, he never liked being woken up early, it always put him in a bad mood

- you looked at belphie curiously for a second, had he forgotten you were leaving? now that you thought about it, he really hadn’t ever acknowledged that you would be returning home, not once had you ever talking about it

- “i-”, you started, unable to finish your train of thought, as bel interrupted you

- “you’re leaving?”, he asked, but instead of sounding angry like you expected, his tone with playful, and you finally noticed a folded slip of paper bel was holding between his fingers

- you tilted your head at him, “bel?”, he smirked at you and stepped closer, holding out the paper for you to take

- you took the paper from him carefully and unfolded it, scanning over the printed words

- it was a document, one regarding your residence in the devildom, and at the bottom of the paper, was lucifer’s signature

- “bel? what is this?”, you glanced up at him, he was staring at you in the most loving way you could imagine

- “the paperwork that means you can stay”, belphie said carefully, picking up your hand and playing with your fingers

- you stared at him in disbelief before pulling him into a hug, “thank you, bel”

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linkspooky · 3 years

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hi, do you have any thoughts on itadori and mahito? specifically why mahito tell him that they are the same?

A. Yuji and Mahito is the Same...

Except they’re not. Not really. Yuji saves people without thinking, and Mahito kills people without thinking but there’s a clearly a difference between saving people and killing people. One of them is a whole lot less murdery. Rather than saying that they’re exactly the same, I think the narrative is setting up the idea that they are supposed opposites who have uncanny similarities to each other.

"I will say at once that both courses lead to the same result: the “uncanny” is that class of the terrifying which leads back to something long known to us, once very familiar."

The uncanny is the psychological experience of something as strangely familiar, rather than simply mysterious. Described as Freud omething that is both at the same time resembling a human, and clearly not human. The term comes from his 1919 essay Das Unheimliche, which explores the eeriness of dolls and waxworks. Why are humans creeped out by something that resembles them?

Freud offers his hypothesis about the uncanny: it something we have forgotten or repressed that is now coming to light against our will. The uncanny unsettles us because it reminds us of ourselves. The uncanny is a concept used repeatedly in psyhological horror, the concept of the doppelganger, dolls, mirrored images things which are human and remind us of ourselves can also subconsciously remind us of the fear of ourselves, so Freud says.

1. Baby Boy, Baby.

Mahito is, specifically the fear that humans have for each other. In that way he embodies the uncanny perfectly. He even looks uncanny. He’s the most human looking of the curses, but at the same time he looks like a stitched up Frankenstein’s Monster. There are many ways his behaviors are just plain wrong and contradict each other, he can talk with other humans, he’s polite, well mannered, always smiling, and then he can kill someone and laugh it off like it’s nothing. Mahito resembles a human, but his every single action is there to remind us that he is inhuman.

Mahito is also the mirror to humanity. Reflections are, things that appear human but are not. Reflections in the mirror look exactly like you, but they’re two dimmensional shallow images and they don’t move of their own accord. Reflections are another brand of doppelgangers. However at the same time, a mirror doesn’t lie, it just reflects. A mirror is just showing what is looking into it.

There’s a story by HP. Lovecraft. (Wow, first Freud and now HP Lovecraft, I’m sorry for citing all of these terrible, terrible men), called the Outsider. A human who is locked away in a castle its entire life finally escapes, and tries to join a party of other people they see from the outside window, only to see them all run off in terror. The last line of the story, after seeing a horrible monster, the monster realizes it was just looking at a mirrored surface and he himself was the monster that everyone was running from. The fear the story preys upon is the fear of oneself, and the fear of the ugliness in oneself that the mirror might show.

For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men. This I have known ever since I stretched out my fingers to the abomination within that great gilded frame; stretched out my fingers and touched a cold and unyielding surface of polished glass.

Mahito is a mirror that reflects Yuji, but only his bad traits. Mahito reminds Yuji of everything he dislikes about himself. Which is why Yuji sees Mahito as an enemy he can’t step forward without killing. So, what is this great similarity between them? I think the main one is that they’re both children.

Part of the foiling in the Young Fish and Reverse Punisment arc is that both Mahito, and Yuji are people that Nanami identifies as children. A cursed spirit who is still learning to be a cursed spirit, a child who is still learning to be a sorcerer.

Early on the arc makes it pretty clear how much Yuji loathes being seen as a child. It’s not that he thinks he deserves special treatment, it’s that Yuji hates powerlessness, he hates the lack of agency, he hates not being able to choose. He doesn’t like being strong enough, because that means he’s not in control of the situation, and he has no choice but to watch as his friends get hurt. Yuji nearly killed Megumi the last time he was powerless and gets things get out of control. Yuji hates being weak like a child, and not being able to be weak like a child, and the result of this is Yuji turns into a pretty self loathing person.

Yuji’s mistakes usually have big consequences. He lets Mahito get near Junpei, because he forgot about Nanami’s careful instructions to watch out and run away if he saw a cursed spirit with a patchwork face. It makes sense that Yuji would forget that in the moment, he’s just a child, it’s forgivable but Yuji never forgives himself for those mistakes. That’s where his self loathing comes from.

It’s the same when Yuji lets Sukuna rampage on Shibuya. It’s not Yuji’s direct fault, however it’s his mistake in losing the fight that enabled Sukuna to rampage so Yuji takes responsiblity and takes all the blame on his shoulders. The way Yuji sees it, it’s his fault for being weak in the moment, he hates his weak naive self, he hates how much he still acts like a child.

Yuji’s response to this however is to not think. To try to shut out those feelings of self loathing, to keep moving, to keep fighting, to fgiht against them so he doesn’t have to feel that way.

2. Evil.

Mahito is the uncanny foil to Yuji, Yuji doesn’t want to recognize anything at all about himself in Mahito, because Mahito embodies everything Yuji doesn’t like about himself.

Mahito’s written to be the foil to Yuji in all the ways that deeply unsettles him. Yuji is always thinking about what a natural death means, whereas Mahito is always killing people in the most unnatural and unnerving ways possible, warping them until they no longer look human.

Yuji is a strong and brave shonen hero, who is even willing to lay his life down for others. In fact he always agrees to risk his life a little bit too easily, like he’s just waiting for a cause to martyr himself on. Yuji is willing at almost any moment to die in the line of duty, Mahito is a coward who always runs away from his life and not only that a proud coward at that. Mahito considers his cowardice and his craftiness a good thing.

However, as Nanami says at the end of Reverse Fish and Young Punishment people don’t exist in these simple black and white categories. Junpei wasn’t just an innocent suffering victim, he also went Carrie and tried to burn the whole school down in addition to the people who bullied him. He tried to hurt Yuji, just for getting in the way.

Yuji sees people in categories of good and evil, but people don’t exist in those categories. Which is why Mahito is there to make him question himself. The uncanny similarity, because Yuji can act like Mahito without even realizing it. Not because Yuji is a good or bad person, but because he’s a collection of good and bad traits. Yuji is extremely caring person, but he also gets angry when people get hurt. Yuji is a very loving person to others, but also deeply self loathing.

Yuji wants to believe he’s selfless and good, and to an extent he is, but then he looks in the mirror and sees a monster, he sees Mahito who is so openly self involved and uncaring and he’s scared am I like that?

Yuji is someone who can become violent, angry, and obsessed with destroying someone too. At the moment killing a curse and killing a person aren’t really the same thing. However, there are two dangerous qualities about Yuji. One, he’s a foil to Geto. Geto is also, a rule abiding good boy, who just tried his best to save everyone around him. However, his definition of “everyone” changed.

That’s the comparison they’re making with Yuji when Mahito says “You kill curses without thinking.” Curses are becoming more and more human like. There’s Choso who is literally a human half breed, who like isn’t really responsible for his existence. It’s bad of course that Choso kills humans, he’s willing to kill innocents for his own survival, but he’s also like... a fetus who was kept in a jar for a hundred years. The boundary line between curses and humans are blurring, and at the same time Yuji once again sees the world in strict and rigid black and whites.

And Yuji’s response to this is usually “I don’t want to think about it.” Yuji wants to reject Mahito, his uncanny reflection in the mirror, and all the unnerving similarities between them. And it’s not really hating Mahito but loathing himself. Yuji hates himself, and wants to reject the possibility he can be in any way like Mahito because then that what he fears about himself might have been true all along. Yuji is, desperately self loathing, and also desperately trying to avoid having to look at himself.

And it’s once again because Yuji himself can’t fit into his own black and white definitions of good and evil. Yuji can’t forgive himself for his mistakes. Yuji just decides to accept, because he let Sukuna rampage, because he made that mistake he’s responsible for it, he’s a murderer now. Mahito isn’t really Yuji, but he’s a good reflection of how Yuji sees himself, and he also shows us why Yuji is so dead set on helping people. Because if he doesn’t move forward. If he doesn’t help people. Then he’s just a murderer. If he can’t save people, then why is he even alive?

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