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dayseternal-blog · 3 years

Note

If you ever finish answering all of yours awaiting asks...

45 questions for you 👀

https://myaekingheart.tumblr.com/post/650107314353897472/fic-writer-ask-game

Lolllll BADLUCKBREBIS, you are so funny.

Inspiration and Reading Asks:

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

It looks like I started writing in 2017. I've been reflecting recently on how there are so many regularly active writers now compared to in 2017-2018. It was the tail-end of some of my fave writer's activity within fandom. Utsus was posting less and less. The Tumblr NaruHina fandom seemed to disappear, a whole community of writers left for other things (matchaball, nekomamoru, magmawrites, cherryjutsu, spyder-m, tenney-shoes, eliphya, among others). 2018 was a very quiet year, but! I avidly read katarinahime and bunnyhoodlum's works! In 2019, quirrrky restarted things with NaruHina Week!

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Recently I’m primarily a reader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there's so many writers now!!!!!!!!

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

Yeah, let’s list them. “A Special Friend” by agitosgirl inspired “Nightdreams. “Medicine” by @grimmjowkurosakidrake inspired “White Lilies. “Torch Song” by @mmmbuttery inspired “About You.” The language in “Unless the World Were to End” by @bunny-hoodlum inspired the language in “That was the plan.” “In Between Drinks” by @peppercornpress inspired “In Between Drinks NH.”

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

“Operation: Bring Home Naruto” by Dragonwannabe - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata's been assigned the mission of getting Naruto back home safely after his last dangerous assignment. But can she handle the undercover identity as his girlfriend that she’d been given without revealing her true feelings for him?

“The Mission” by Lunawraythe - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It wasn't that Hinata never expected to work with Naruto, just never on a mission quite like this.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which...Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

ahhh. I do have quite a few pet peeves. If the fic is Canon-Compliant or Canon-Divergent, I expect Naruto and Hinata to behave like Japanese people. Say what you want, but the Naruto Universe is definitely Japanese in my book. So that means no shoes in the house. Nothing rattles me more than reading Hinata taking her sandals off before climbing into bed. Like, what? she was wearing her outdoor shoes indoors this whole time??

mmm... another pet peeve is when the writer describes Hinata in a kimono, but it sounds like an American Halloween costume, like the slutty version, instead of an actual kimono.

mmm... and the other big pet peeve I have is when it’s Hinata’s first time eating ramen because Naruto is showing her the wonders of ramen. lol. why. how. in what world would a Japanese person make it to their teenage years without ever eating ramen.

I have a bunch of other little pet peeves regarding Japanese culture in fanfics. But in general, it doesn’t stop me from reading the fic if I'm already in the middle of it. I’ll continue reading it and will probably recommend it to other people anyway. If I can tell based on the summary, then it's not for me, and I don't read it. If this makes anyone feel nervous about writing fanfiction, that's not my intention! I would also be happy to be a sensitivity reader if necessary.

6. How do you find new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction?

I primarily read fanfics on AO3 and ffnet. I find new ones by constantly checking the Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto tag on AO3 or looking into a writer’s favorites list on ffnet.

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics?

Short fics.

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like?

I reblog pretty often. I don't comment as often as I used to😕 I used to comment on every fic I liked.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

Uhh?? Idk. I think recently the writing group here is pretty tight, everyone seems to know everyone.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Naruto fandom and NaruHina.

Fanfiction Writing Asks:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

I usually take it from words used in the story or from the prompt.

12. Tell the author your favorite fic title of theirs (not the fic, strictly title). Author: what’s your favorite title you’ve come up with and why?

I think...maybe "Tell Me of Forevers" or "Nightdreams." I like those because they aren't taken word-for-word directly from the story, but touch on a theme in the story.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

Yes, I outline. They wouldn't get a headache, I think. It's usually just a summary.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

Nope. I didn't know people do that.

15. Tell the author your favorite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite fic continues to be "It's No Secret."

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

Yes, I do. I've done historical and folktale research for "Little Samurai." I did area/location research for "Last Chance." I did historical research for "About You." I did fairy tale research for "Catskin." I did a ton of astronomy research for "The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl." And I did lighting research for "Inspo." I go pretty deep.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

I don't. I usually have something else I need to do or I go to bed.

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

I actually think I can finish all of mine if I just try.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

I always edit before posting to AO3. Anything I post directly on Tumblr might not be edited.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Posting!

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Starting a new chapter.

22. Do you take fic requests? If so, for what characters and why?

On occasion. If someone sends me a request, I'll think about writing it. Sometimes I do write and post it, sometimes I leave them in my drafts for a better day.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

From what I already have posted, probably friends-to-lovers, secret relationship/forbidden love, or high school au. I don't think I have an intentional favorite.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Public humiliation / public degradation.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

No, not usually.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

Tumblr feed, all the pictures to scroll through mindlessly.

27. Do you like to give your readers some warning of what might be coming or just slap them in the face with content at random?

lol, whatever is fine.

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

Well, pressure to update is not a big deal to me. I do this for fun, so I don't think I unnecessarily pressure myself too much. With negative comments, I don't get too many of those, and I think I do my best to avoid situations where I might get negative feedback.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, I like the events. My favorite was NH2020, the year-long one last year. I also enjoyed the Secret Santa last year since @badluckbrebis was my giftee.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

haha😈

Ecstasy slides through his veins, blooming over his mind, cocooning him in pleasant sensations, cum shooting out in eager twitches against hot, milking flesh.

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Naruto Uzumaki, always.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

Top 3 faves in order:

That was the plan: "She shifts in his arms, and cloth and cleavage come pillowing up to his face, and he’s certain that she’s scooped from the same puffy stuff his adolescent daydreams were made of."

Tell Me of Forevers: "What he wouldn’t do to inspire every blush, every smile of hers for an eternity when such moments already only speak “forever” to him."

White Lilies: "Whether at his feet, in his eyes, ears, mind, if not reaching his heart, she never landed anywhere. (It’s okay.)"

I consider "White Lilies" to have my technically best writing, so it was kind of hard to choose just one line from that fic! But I decided that one's my favorite line from the whole story.

33. What do you like writing better: one shots or multi-chapter stuff?

One-shots.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

A lot of my life experiences are in my writing. Hmm, I think readers probably think I'm...hmm...either empathetic or really perverted?

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

I spend a lot less time on real-life social media than before.

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of?

I'm kind of embarrassed of "Honeymoon at the Hot Springs" lol. It's fine.

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write.

My current WIP is that A/B/O fic I started for February Smut Month Prompts: Sweet as Candy or Love Bites. I'm going to title it "Sweet As," and it'll be about how Naruto and Hinata become Alpha/Omega mates. It's really kinky, really smutty, and totally what I would want to read.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

uhh???? a 1?? I've never once thought of my writing process as chaotic. Ahh, then I think of bunnyhoodlum's multiple drafts for the same chapter, and I realize that there exist types of writing processes that I would not be able to handle...

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

My smut.

40. How did you come up with the idea for [x fic]?

41. What’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)?

Idk about Tumblr,,, maybe White Lilies got the most attention here. My most popular fic is Nightdreams on AO3.

42. Asker: pick three of the author’s works. Author: rank them 1 (the best) - 3 (the worst) based on whatever criteria you want - this could be something totally random that isn’t quality related (like simply ranking fics based on how many trains appear in them) - have fun!

43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.

I will always remember how people congratulated me for finishing White Lilies😭 Also, when peppercornpresses made that FIRST art of my story, I just, I just stared at it all day.

44. Rant about something writing related.

hmmm, I don't feel like ranting about anything. I just recently ranted about my pet peeves above.

45. Fic specific questions - if you have any weird questions about specific works, here’s your shot to ask them!

I did them all! Nice questions.

#anon #*anon*#fic writer ask game #i will send these questions right back at you

20 notes · View notes

rechoired · 4 years

Text

A problem with the Tales Of Arcadia community

First and foremost, I’d like to ask anyone taking the time to read this to please read the post all the way through before commenting on the matter. There is a lot of dirty laundry to unpack here, and some points will be building off previous ones.

I’ll get right to the point. Most everybody in the Tales of Arcadia fandom will have heard of the blog imthegingerninja / ginger-le-gay. She is one of the most well-known ToA-centric blogs, after all. (If you’re wanting to avoid her on Twitter as well, her account is Margaret Bell, or @The_Book_Bell.)

This is your PSA, TOA fandom: Ginger is a toxic, manipulative person.

This is not a claim I like to make lightly, but it’s long overdue that this issue is properly brought up within the fandom.

I’ve seen so many people wonder why the Tales of Arcadia fandom is so small. Well, I and many others very strongly believe that Ginger is one of the main reasons for that, if not the main one. To make matters easier, I’ve tried to break this down into some main points. So let’s take a look at how Ginger falls under this category.

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT look at this post as an excuse to harass Ginger or any other blog mentioned here. This sort of behavior is NOT acceptable. The point of this post is to educate those who may not know the extent of her harrowing behavior, nothing more.

1. Dishonesty and Death Threats

[EDIT: Shortly after this post went up, she started blatantly lying about me to try to cover for herself. You can see those lies being easily disproven here]

Ginger has been kicked from at least three Tales of Arcadia servers, all for similar reasons of violence. While I cannot provide screenshots as I am no longer part of the servers they were in, there are multiple witnesses that can verify the disgusting behavior she engaged in. The one I saw specifically was her saying that certain members of the fandom should be gathered up and hunted for sport, among other gross things. (Elaboration of why can be found in point 3, though it still doesn’t excuse this kind of talk)

Here is some points made by another blog that also sums up similar issues with Ginger, though:

While there were multiple instances of her inciting violence towards others, this is unfortunately one topic I cannot provide specific screenshots for at this time. But I will add them in as I can find them. That being said, I want to move to the dishonesty, something I do have a screenshot for.

While you could argue that people sometimes notice the similar things, this is far too close together to be considered an “original find”. The reblog button is there for a reason, but she instead decides to steal the OP’s premise and present it as her own original thought.

There have been a couple other blogs that have confirmed that their theories and analysis posts were often stolen and presented as Ginger’s own as well, to the point where they stopped bothering even making such posts, as the above blog points out. (Out of respect for their privacy, I will not be naming these blogs. Say what you will about that possibly weakening my point, but if she’s willing to so blatantly steal from that person shown above, it shouldn’t surprise you that she’s so willing to do it to others.)

Theory-making and analysis posts aren’t as solidly “original content” as a piece of art or fanfiction, sure, but it’s still common fandom courtesy to give credit where it’s due. Ginger has intentionally avoided extending that courtesy far too many times.

2. Hypocrisy

Most of this is going to be about past Merlin vs. Morgana drama, though there are also words to be said for the incredibly shaky relationships she forms with “friends”.

But first let’s talk about those wizards.

This is a topic I’ve tried to approach with Ginger before, but she borderline refused to acknowledge any of the points I was trying to make, and when she did, I don’t know if I just wasn’t being clear or what, but it honestly looked as though she was purposefully trying to misunderstand what I was saying in her bizarre responses. (To be fair, I was sending messages out of anger because she vagueposted about a blog I admired, calling them a “disgusting creep” because of them simply saying they’d hoped Jim and Merlin would be able to actually bond at some point... Not really a justifiable reaction to such a harmless thought, in my opinion. But my point is, I recognize that the circumstances may have clouded my ability to vocalize my thoughts clearly.)

That aside, we should first acknowledge this post Ginger made to save face after having gotten some backlash about hate-train related things (Side note: I couldn’t find the original post, so this is a screenshot I got from someone else. I did not add the writing. The text underneath it should still be slightly readable, I hope.):

Taken at face value, this is a very reasonable post. I think everybody would and should be able to agree on it. Hate-meme him for fun, sure, but don’t actually harass or insult others over a fictional character. Simple, right?

Apparently not, because Ginger’s done loads of that to others. Probably why the “LOL” was added in, I bet.

This post confused me. First of all, exploring dark topics (”angst”, as you put it) has never been a rare occurrence, every fandom has that content, most in heavy abundance. I’ve noticed no staggering difference in volume of this fandom compared to others I’ve been in. People enjoy angst not because they think the character “deserves to be in pain”, they enjoy a fictional blow to their own emotions. There’s lots of different reasons people like angst, but it’s barely ever been out of a genuine hate for whatever character’s the focus, from all the things I’ve seen. Your own friends have indulged in Jim angst and body horror posts before, does that mean you think they’re awful people? I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain something like this.

Also, way to basically admit you think all Merlin stans get off on child torture. So much for “If you like Merlin as a character, you’re valid”, am I right? God, what a mess of a post. (It’s been very recently deleted, which makes me wonder if she got more backlash on it, but just... wow.)

Let’s look at another one.

Again. Vagueposting about someone specific, I’d wager, since most of the people I’ve seen comment on this topic either think both characters are morally gray, or hate both.

But of course, when it comes to Morgana, suddenly excusing bad behavior can be justified. Ginger can call someone a disgusting creep because they want a familial bond between Jim and Merlin, that’s just wrong, but pushing the Mom-gana narrative with the genocidal abuser and Toby is completely fine, folks.

(Note: I would like to point out that I really don’t care about what theories and hopes people have for Morgana. You should be allowed to love that character in any way you want, same as I would say for Merlin. My issue with these examples is the completely brazen hypocrisy in which these two characters are treated. You’re obviously allowed to love Morgana without consequence, but the same should be said for any character of the show, and yet it’s not.)

The most obvious instance of this double-standard is well observable here, I believe:

... I think this mostly speaks for itself. Sorry, but this is very blatantly trying to excuse Morgana’s actions, here.

Oh hey, remember that post about Ginger saying that liking Merlin must mean you want to see Jim in horrible pain?

Say anything similar about her with Morgana, and suddenly she takes issue with this line of reasoning!

I’m sorry, but if you can’t take this sort of thing, then you shouldn’t be dishing it out. One of your own friends is still getting hate over the simple fact of liking Merlin, and all this mentality is exactly why.

Let’s look at one more.

Fun fact! Morgana horrifically abused somebody for centuries, tried to kill multiple kids, took horrible advantage of Claire (probably traumatized her), and canonically wanted to genocide humanity, not to mention all the OTHER murders she's committed, both directly and indirectly.

But somehow pointing any of this out “doesn’t count”. This is why the fandom keeps saying more and more things like this:

And this:

I could be going through her constant hating on Merlin and people who like Merlin for days straight, but I hope you all get the idea by now.

Again, I would like to just reiterate: You can like whatever character you want for whatever reason you want. The problem with this case is the hypocrisy and mistreatment of others, not your taste in characters.

Now interestingly enough, she’s lately been singing a different tune about the guy, switching from the “I hate Merlin I hope he dies!!!” mentality to “Oh he should get a redemption arc too :)” sort of thing.

I’m highly convinced that the only reasons for this “change of heart” is because of the constant backlash she was getting for the obnoxious amount of hate posts being thrown around all the time, but also because Aaron Waltke keeps tabs on the fandom more lately, and has spoken himself about Merlin not being a villain.

I could go on about this point forever, but I think I’ll just leave the Merlin topic with this post going through the hypocrisy of the Merlin Hate Train. In fact, here’s two just for fun.

Now onto more real-world focused areas of hypocrisy. One such instance can be found in Ginger’s Janus Disorder server.

Just take a look at this post.

While the offender in this case isn’t Ginger specifically, it still takes place in her server, and she made no moves to enforce her “No discourse” rule. All over... what? A random kudos on a fanfiction that’s not even about anything controversial since all characters involved are adults? I immensely don’t understand the point of why this ever had to be an issue, or why nobody spoke up about how ridiculous this is.

I’d also like to point out a certain user called firecat17. For some quick context, waaay back in the Kung Fu Panda fandom (around 2018), this user had been harassing people and saying incredibly vile things, a person of which Ginger had a bit of a feud, but firecat’s anon threats had gotten to the point where Ginger ended up having to block their IP.

Obviously, the user firecat was the one in the wrong, here. (Also, the irony in this comment is through the roof...)

Interesting point there, Ginger. Sure would be nice if you practiced what you preached.

Why am I bringing this random old drama up, you may ask? Well, it just strikes me as strange that someone who was so vile to Ginger is suddenly on her okay-list again, sending her asks and getting casual responses as if nothing ever happened.

To be fair, there is the possibility that they worked out their differences in private. But given the severity of the kinds of words being exchanged, I would still find that rather suspicious.

When someone who’s said things so vile can be so easily forgiven, yet something as harmless as leaving a kudos on some random fanfiction is considered grounds for harassment, it’s obvious there’s no stability or room for trust among this group of people. Unsurprising when there’s been several instances of this “friend group” turning on each other.

If you think you’re somehow different, that your “friendship” with Ginger or the others is more valued than that, then I’m sorry to burst your bubble but it’s likely not true. She’d throw you under the bus at the hint of you doing something she deems problematic, as it’s happened to multiple blogs before you.

3. Demonization of and insensitivity towards s*xual abuse victims

(This topic is one that’s hard for me to talk about, being a victim of CSA myself, so I’ve gathered some different sources to do most of the main talking for me. I tried to form more commentary on this myself, but I get too emotionally charged in my responses, and I don’t want that to cloud any reader’s perception of what I’m trying to communicate here, so I’ll try to keep most of my comments brief on this one.)

One thing recently brought to my attention about Ginger and her squad that especially bothers me is their rashness in labeling people p*dophiles and p*do apologists. If these claims were true, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

But these people are accusing others of these horrible things and threatening them on the sole basis of fictional content.

Now before you fly off the handle at me, let me be very clear: I absolutely understand that there are gross people out there who use the “It’s all just fiction” argument to hide their actual, pr*datory behaviors. (We’ve all probably seen at least one or two neckbeard memes of that caliber)

But like it or not, exploring traumatic themes through a fictional lens is something that has been studied and proven to be a genuine coping mechanism for some. It’s not something that works for me, but I knew a few people from past therapy groups that it worked surprisingly well for. Bringing a trauma into a controlled environment and processing it through fictional means can and does help some victims deal with what they went through.

It’s important to understand that not everyone processes their experience in the same neat, little boxes you have laid out as the only “acceptable” ways of coping. Trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy are commonly used by victims, and it does help some people, whether you like it or not.

I’m already dragging this on too much, so here are some sources for better-worded information on the topic (Warning: Most of these deal with highly sensitive themes such as gun violence and s*xual abuse.)

Source 1 - Source 2 - Source 3 - Source 4 - Source 5 (pages 61 onward, specifically) - Source 6 - Source 7 - Source 8 - Source 9 - Source 10 (and believe me, if those all don’t satisfy you, I can easily supply more.)

And this quote from source 9 I think sums it up best:

“Fiction works differently. My imagination gives me a framework to process the grief and terror and the consequences, even when I myself have not found any resolution. It allows me to enter my own traumatic experiences sideways and linger inside them, if I know I can give them to characters who might be lucky enough to find the antidote: love, connection, community, family. In other words, I can enter — and exit — the trauma loop through stories that are not exactly the same as mine.

This goes for the reader also. Recent studies periodically assure us that stories — literary fiction, hardcover books, even the simple act of reading — promote empathy. We rarely have identical experiences, so fiction is how we practice linking our similar or parallel realities so we can feel them. This seems particularly useful in our current society, where we are all so separated, and are working so hard to block the violence that keeps happening to us from our minds.

Fiction connects us, and it can also contribute to our healing. When we see ourselves in worlds we don’t live in, like The Handmaid’s Tale or The Color Purple, sometimes, that very different violence helps us finally process our own. Because as much as our memoirs and testimonies are brave and validating, fiction does not just mirror our truths so they are safe to experience; it also helps us endure the aftermath. Because long after the immediate experience is over, survival struggles onward, in every moment of our daily lives.”

While most professionals have in the past advised that victims keep their trauma-related works more private, to only show it to your trusted friends or family, the fast-growing use of the internet has led more people to sharing it in an online platform, which is not unexpected behavior.

I unfortunately don’t have the screenshot of the original post, but there was a post made some time back literally telling a fandom member to go and hang themselves over this garbage. A survivor of s*xual abuse, no less. And to top that off, one of Ginger’s squad @emmy-puff commented in support of that violent post, as well as blatantly misgendering the target of it. While, again, I was unable to get screenshots, there are multiple witnesses to this instance, one Anonymous even having called them out on it back when it happened. (I suspect that Emmy deleted that answer due to how bad it made them look.) If anybody reading this has screenshots of the initial post or the ask that came of it, please feel free to share.

I don’t care who you are or who you’re talking about, if you use misgendering someone as a way to hurt them, then you are an insult to the trans community. That is an awful thing to do, and you lose so much credibility if that’s the only thing you can fall back on when getting in a fight with someone. While this post isn’t about Emmy specifically, this is exactly the kind of hateful rhetoric that’s being encouraged in the environment Ginger’s made.

Another thing I would like to point out on this matter is an instance that happened in the ToA fandom a couple years back. I, again, don’t have screenshots available (I believe the original post ended up deleted) but the post in question caused enough of a fuss that I’m sure a few people must remember it...

A while back, there was an artist that posted uncensored, untagged r*pe art of Aaarrrgghh, Gunmar, and Jim in the main Trollhunters tag. As you can imagine, this infuriated many people. Many of which are among the list of those who’ve been labeled “p*do apologists”. Almost the very minute that post showed up in the tag with no trigger warnings of any kind, the fandom immediately got on OP’s tail about it, because they all shared that basic understanding of “This is a traumatizing subject for many people and they should have the ability to avoid it”. If the people you’ve labelled as pr*dator supporters were really as awful as you say they are, they would’ve jumped to that person’s defense, too. But they were completely against OP’s horrible lack of consideration of survivors, right alongside the rest of the fandom.

Am I saying you have to like trauma fiction? Absolutely not. Are there people that make trauma fiction that are actual pr*dators? I’m sure there are. But those people would be that way whether trauma fiction was out there or not. Gross people have existed and will always exist regardless of what media is out there.

I deeply understand the controversy, uncertainty, and stress that surrounds this topic, I promise you, I do. But the fact of the matter is, some people actually do use trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy as a way of coping, as has been observed in people even from ages as young as 5. To say otherwise is blatantly untrue. This isn’t a matter of opinion or morals, this is plain, studied facts that you cannot change about human psychology.

Nobody should ever have to go through something as horrible as s*xual abuse of any kind, and I know how deeply upsetting it can be to see certain images or stories with those themes in play. Those users with a sense of decency and understanding for fellow victims will tag their posts with the appropriate warnings. After that, it’s up to you to filter out what you don’t want to see. You curate your own internet experience, and it’s just plain irrational to try and harass everyone into conforming to your rules. While it’s an 18+ blog’s job to make sure to tag and label their content appropriately, it is your job to block the things you don’t want to see, whether you’re an adult or a minor. It is YOUR job to blacklist content that you know will upset you, because it is always going to exist on the internet, and any internet user needs to know and understand that. Multiple times I’d seen people going off about posts that were already appropriately trigger-tagged. If you don’t have those upsetting tags blacklisted by now, then the fault is mostly on you in that kind of case, not the OP.

Before I end this topic off, just one more example of blatant disrespect towards victims:

I’m sorry, but the absolute nerve of comparing some random fictional character you’re petty over to an actual pr*dator who’s terribly hurt real children is just awful. Imagine how insulted one of Onion’s victims would be if they saw that. Lord.

Ginger claims to care about victims, but she’s made it abundantly clear that she only cares about those that behave the way she think a victim should.

4. Ableism

I’m going to just show a couple posts here and let them mostly speak for themselves.

Just... my God. You looked at the definition of psychopath and decided that was enough to give you qualification to speak like this about it? Do you realize the extensive work and study of human psychology goes into the diagnosis and understandings of psychopathy? Not to mention, you just admit to thinking people deserve hate because of a mental disorder they legitimately have no control over? I’m sorry, but that is just cruel. Demonization of the mentally ill is not cute or funny. Next.

While I’m still annoyed with Emmy’s transphobic treatment of another user mentioned earlier, they make a very solid point in this instance. (The first post they referenced has since been deleted, but here’s the second one speaking out against the ableism.) I feel I don’t need to add much to this, as these points have already been argued very well by users better qualified to speak on the subject than I.

5. Manipulation tactics

This part is more observations of two kinds of abuse tactics Ginger appears to demonstrate, using the above as points of reference.

First, there’s DARVO.

Then, less formally, there’s this good point about online cult mentality.

Before you say anything, obviously I don’t think Ginger thinks of herself as some sort of deity. While it could be argued that she considers herself a point of authority within the TOA fandom maybe, I haven’t seen enough of this to say for sure how far that goes. So that point can be ignored, because it mostly doesn’t apply in this case. (The “Dictating parts of your online life” might also not apply, but I can’t say for sure as I haven’t gotten any confirmation of that sort of thing in Ginger’s group.)

But there are grains of truth in the other four points, especially that last one. Plain and simple, she’s made people afraid to speak their minds about even harmless things such as character analysis.

Ginger is someone who can’t seem to comprehend different viewpoints and life experiences. She’s extremely unsympathetic towards people she doesn’t understand, as can be observed in above examples. Assuming malicious intent from everybody you can’t understand is a dangerous and hurtful mindset to have, for both you and those who you unnecessarily scorn.

There are a few outcomes I’ve speculated should she ever come to see this post.

1. She will ignore this post completely, pretending as if it doesn’t exist

2. She will dismiss me as being some sort of horrible person, a p*do apologist or something of the sort (despite being a victim of that myself, clearly she doesn’t care about who’s actually been hurt by real p*dos or not if they don’t conform to her narrow worldview), and claim nothing I’ve said bears any meaning, despite the extensive evidence I’ve provided.

3. She will get people to try and attack me.

4. She will actually address these points in a tactful, mature, and serious manner instead of her usual act of trying to dismiss everything at the slightest hint of non-conformity. (The least likely outcome, but one can dream.)

I could add to this post all day, but it’s long enough as it is and my focus was on getting the main points out of the way. I understand that I lack some of the receipts necessary to back myself up in a few parts, but I know that many other fans have bared witness to those things, so I know there will be at least some people who’ll know what I speak of is true, and that’s good enough for me.

That being said, if anybody has screenshots of the instances I wasn’t able to provide for, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add them into the conversation.

!!!-If you have screenshots, but are too uncomfortable to get involved in this, then you can private-message them to me and I would be grateful and more than happy to add them in while keeping you completely anonymous.-!!!

(I've removed the section with all the tags, as I recognize it was probably going overboard. My goal was just to spread information, not to try and involve those tagged, but I understand how that may have gotten lost in translation and made people uncomfortable. Also, it apparently was showing up multiple times in people’s notifications when I only tagged people twice, so I’m not sure why that glitch happened, but I apologize for that annoyance as well.)

Now, to end us off, my responses to questions or angry comments I’m probably going to get:

You don’t even have all the evidence! How are we to know you’re not just lying about some of this?

Admittedly, I don’t have as much screenshot proof as I would like, that’s true. But for most of the instances I couldn’t provide for, there were other witnesses to her bad behavior. I don’t really have the need to lie when there’s already a lot of knowledge out there of the bad stuff she has done. Nor do I really have the emotional investment in this fandom anymore to lie for the pointless reason of causing drama.

Why post this on a throwaway account if you think people are on your side?

I just don’t really want my main blog associated with TOA anymore, to be frank.

You tagged a bunch of people, so you must be trying to get them to attack Ginger!

No. I tagged a bunch of people because I think this information should be heard on a wider scale, considering the position Ginger has in the fandom. I don’t want her or anybody else to be attacked, but her negative impact on this fandom deserves to be acknowledged.

Again, I don’t think Ginger or any of the others deserve harassment or cyberbullying or anything of that manner, that’s kind of what this whole post is against. And it just hurts the situation more than it helps it. What bothers me is how she’s never apologized for or even once acknowledged the gross way she’s treated people. While she might be more low-key about it now, she still treats people who don’t deserve it like garbage. There are still several people upset about the damage she’s caused to this fandom, rightfully so. I wouldn’t be so loud about making this post if I didn’t think it was something worth drawing attention to.

Thank you for reading.

#TrollHunters #3Below #TOAwizards #Tales of Arcadia #TOA

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decembermoonskz · 3 years

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Hello moonbeams~! Writing letters is something I’m good at, because even if I stumble in all other forms of communication sometimes, my writing, my words never fail me. The overall negative energy, annoyance and sometimes hatred towards the pandemic, the social/political topics and the year in general can be very draining and or taxing on me and you all. Of course we’re upset too but seeing so much hate can be draining for people like me, and maybe you. So for a moment, grab a seat and a blanket and listen as I read this letter to you. This is a letter from me, to you, and I offer a blessing from her majesty the moon herself as well.

2020 has been one hell of a year that’s for sure. I experienced a lot of sadness, fatigue and overall lower moods as I tend to take on the energy of the world heavily. There has been so much that’s happened to us all, sadness, fear, anger, heartbreak; but even still we survived it. There were so many that felt we wouldn’t make it through this year or make it to the end as it felt like it would go on forever, but we’re here now, to write these letters, to tell these stories.

Even in this hectic year, I experienced so much, I felt happiness, joy I cried a lot and released so many pent up feelings, I came to terms with things I had locked away, I laughed a lot, I found passions that I thought were long lost. So much has happened to me in this year both ups and downs and I’m grateful for it all. You may be wondering why I would be grateful for downs as well, they helped teach me things, how strong I am; how it’s okay to give in and feel your sadness or pain; to validate my emotions; and a lot more. I hope that with all that’s happened you were able to take in some lessons yourself.

Below this cut, I wanted to thank some people who made my experience on tumblr as wonderful as it has been, more amazing than I had ever expected it to be. I came on here extremely nervous about sharing my stories and these people have been so warm and welcoming and honestly I wouldn’t have enjoyed my time as much without them. I’ll have my ending message at the bottom of this.

@sleepylixie Lily darling, my brain twin!! you’ve made my short tumblr life so much fun! sharing brain waves one moment, soundboarding ideas the next, and having so many things in common between us it’s crazy (wolfie gang). You’ve become one of the best things to happen to me on this site! xoxo thank you for always sharing your wonderful ideas with me and for sharing my love of fantasy!! Oh and I can’t forget all the shared screaming we do over skz and anything else xD I’m so glad we started talking and even in just a short time I feel so close to you already!! Thank you for letting me vent out all my ideas and for letting me be that person for your ideas too, thank you for always giving such good feedback and opinions and thank you for just overall being one of my favorite people to talk to. I hope we can make more wonderful memories in the coming year and beyond it. love you darling have a beautiful 2021~ 💜💜💜 ⟪ song rec: Another Day - Stray Kids ⟫

@rebecca-noona Becca! You were the first person to interact with my blog and when I look back on it, I’m so thankful you did. I love our talks about Korea and skz and writing. Your support has always been incredibly helpful, thank you for always being a cheerleader for me, it means the world. I hope you know I love you and support you and your works and whatever you wish to do so much as well!! I’m so happy we started talking and you make me so happy. Thank you for being my friend and when I finally get to Korea you gotta show me around when you get back!! I hope your process of getting back is smooth and easy, stay as optimistic as you can love!! xoxo ⟪ song rec: motive - Ariana Grande (ft. Doja Cat) ⟫

@skzctnightnight bel! bel! :DD it’s your words of encouragement that helped me create this blog, you’re one of the reasons I’m here!! your works have been some of my favorites and I was so happy when I first reached out to you. Your kindness really touched me and being your anon at the time was so much fun >v< Prowl will forever be one of my favorite series and you inspire me with your works!! I love talking with you no matter if it’s a quick chat, or a long convo, I always love talking to you. Thank you for making my 2020 so nice! I’m glad I know you and let’s talk more soon! <3 ⟪ song rec: Clarity - Kim Petras ⟫

@aliceu Alice!! I’m so thankful we met by chance when replying to one of Lily’s posts LOL I think it was an ask of yours about fantasy, and we shared a mutual love for it xD I want you to know that I always smile and I’m always happy when you send asks or dms so please I hope you never worry about being a bother and keep sending them hehe >v</ Thank you for always taking some of your time to check out my stories and for always leaving such wonderful feedback too!! It makes me happy to read your mini reviews about them!! Thanks for having little chats with me too. I enjoy them always and I hope we can continue to chat more 2021!! Please have a great new year and stay safe and comfy uwu ⟪ song rec: TMT - Stray Kids ⟫

@t-toodumbtocare Bar! xoxo I’m so glad we finally started talking and I’m hoping we can talk more soon >w<b You’re so fun and sweet and your stories are cute!! I wanna read more soon!! >^<9 Thanks for our little chats and thanks for checking out my stories as well I appreciate it. I hope to get to know you better in the coming year and I hope you have the best 2021!! ⟪ song rec: Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift ⟫

@delicatewerewolfsoul Vicky!!! I’m so happy we started talking! I loved talking about animals and pets with you and I loved all the skz soft hours asks you sent (I hope you send more of them psst psst) they made my day!! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re a master of heart memes xD I hope your 2021 is wonderful just like you are!! Stay safe and warm you cute bean xoxo ⟪ song rec: Inception - ATEEZ ⟫

@dreamescapeswriting Hi M!!! Okay full disclosure!! I’ve actually read some of your works before having tumblr LOL Like I really enjoyed them (Lucky and You Love Me are so cute) and honestly I was shy about reaching out but I’m so glad I did because now I wanna continue to talk and send you hugs! >V< I’m so glad we’re both gamers and your asks make me so happy! Thank you for being the sweetie you are and I hope we can talk more in 2021!! Have a great new year cutie!! <3 ⟪ song rec: False God - Taylor Swift ⟫

to my mutuals and other moonbeams who I wanna talk to more and love and support so much!! @mikoto-ica-fics @hanflix @chogiwow @redsandroses @meiiyue @missskzbiased @rosieecheeks I hope we can talk more in the new year and I love you a lot!!! You’re all such beautiful souls!! Know I’m sending you love and hugs and all the support I can muster \>v</ xoxoxoxoxo ⟪ song rec: Breath - GOT7 ⟫

To my beautiful nonnies, I’m super happy you’re here. I miss you all and hope you’re well and to the new ones welcome welcome!! I hope you know all your messages make me so happy! When I started my blog, I didn’t imagine I’d have as many anons as I do now, I didn’t think I’d have many, maybe 2 or 3? You guys make me so happy and I hope to see you more in my inbox when you have the time!!! <33 ⟪ song rec: You Can STAY - Stray Kids ⟫

To all my followers, my darling moonbeams!! Thank you so much for joining on this journey of practice and self-love that I’ve been trying to embark on. The comments, the reblogs, the likes, the asks, all of it, it means the world to me. To re-learn that it is possible for people to enjoy what I do, and not tie it to my own self-worth has been something I’m so thankful for. You all helped me learn that so thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the stories I put out and feel free to reach out anytime! I’m so happy to have 300+ (almost 400) of you lovely moonbeams here! I hope you all have a wonderful 2021! It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, where you come from, what you identify as, what you believe in, or who you love; you are all precious moonbeams here in this haven. ⟪ song rec: Haven - Stray Kids ⟫

I know I say it a million times but since this is a wrapup letter I’ll share it again shortly. My blog was made for the main purpose of learning to appreciate my passion for writing and to not cage myself from posting and sharing my stories. I wanted to learn to write for myself and that posting stories in and of itself was the main victory, and everything else was the bonus, instead of thinking when people like it, only then is it good. I’ve done that before and having learned from it I now feel more prepared to tackle this. Thank you again for all the warm welcomes and the love I’ve received it still hasn’t quite sunk in for me and it feels so unreal. To know you all enjoy my stories and give me so much love, it’s crazy and it’s happening and I am so happy. I’m very thankful I took the leap of faith even though I was scared and decided to create this blog! 2020 challeneged me as well as pushed me and supported me. I experienced hard times yes, but I also experienced some really amazing things. I found comfort in things new and old, I feel like the quarantine made me come to terms with myself more, not run from things I wanted to confront and talk to myself more. I feel like 2020 albeit really draining in all ways, helped shape me and I got stronger because of living through this year. Now before I get any more preach-y than I already have LOL Thank you for being a part of my 2020 everyone!! I hope to have you with me in 2021 and I hope you experience the blessings of the moon like I feel we all do. See you in 2021 y’all! We’ll get through next year and the next and the next, I know it! 💜

Love Izzy

#my 2020 love letter to you #izzy's 2020 wrapped up #izzy doing stuffs #izzy be rambling #I love you all my moonbeams #🌕 may her majesty the moon watch over you always

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onthepageoftears · 4 years

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Kill Your Darlings Ch. 16 (Jaskier x Assassin!Reader) || Witcher

a/n: Hey everyone. To be honest, I feel kind of weird posting this. I contemplated if I should post this chapter this week for a while, but ultimately decided to do so (which…is how you’re reading this). If you haven’t already seen, I’ve reblogged some sources regarding black lives matter and what you can do to help. Still, I want to put some resources in this post as well. This website (linked here) has good places to educate yourself, donate, and sign petitions. If you can’t donate, you can watch videos like these (here, here, and here) with your adblocker off, and all of the ad money will go to blm organizations. I really encourage you to contribute in some way — anything helps.

As always, enjoy the chapter, and stay safe out there if you plan on protesting!

Your comments and feedback are always encouraged and mean a lot to me!

Summary: Burying the past won’t keep it there forever.

Warnings: mentions of blood/death/murder/killing, gore, angsty reflections lol, spoilers for season 1 ep 1, language

Words: 3,050

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

Jaskier was probably the fussiest person you’d ever met.

You’d known it before, of course. He was particular about what taverns you stayed in, pouting when you and Geralt chose one he didn’t like. Despite his messiness with clothes, he was selective on what he actually wore, what doublets went with what trousers, and so on. But even with all his fussiness, you never thought he would be fussy over someone else. Let alone, you.

As you gathered your things for the next journey, he stood beside you like your own shadow, making sure you didn’t fall or sway or breathe slightly out of rhythm. You almost punched him in the face when he offered to put your knives away for you, when the sheaths were already secure on your body. He got the hint when you sent him a simple, but effective, glare.

To be fair, he was the one who tended your wounds, so he saw how much damage had been done. But he didn’t realize it was nothing you hadn’t felt before, and it certainly wasn’t something that was going to stop you. Still, he was especially cautious after you explained that you needed to go after the same bandit group that took Lilla (at least, from what you’d assumed). You tried to argue that it would not only be another adventure for his songs, but it would clear up why this person — Hotch — was after him.

Sure, Jaskier and your still-fresh wounds couldn’t stop you…but they could slow you down. Jaskier insisted you all wait for the morning to go out again, leaving you to groan in frustration when Geralt agreed. You grumbled to yourself as you threw your stuff by the door, to be ready for the early morning traveling. You didn’t bother hiding your annoyance as Jaskier changed your bandages for you and practically scolded you to get some sleep. But despite your irritation and unrest, eventually, you did.

—

You were sitting in the grass, under the stars. Everything was quiet. Calm.

“They shine brighter when you’re out here to look at them.” You turned your head, smiling at the playful grin on your father’s face. “I’m serious,” he said, turning back to the sky. “They’re here for you.”

You giggled, and though you knew it wasn’t true, you let it slide. But instead of looking at the stars, your eyes stayed on your father, whose own eyes widened in — fear?

You watched as his mouth opened and a scream spilled out, making you whip your head back towards the sky.

You gasped at the sight. The stars were falling, plummeting, towards you. You instinctively lifted your arms to cover your face, a shriek leaving your lips. But after a few moments, nothing happened. When you looked out from behind your arms, the stars were gone. And so was your father.

You sat up in the grass, shifting your gaze to the field around you. You were in your childhood village, but everything was gone. There was only one house a good distance away — it was yours. And your father was walking into it with a knife in his hand.

“No,” you whispered, your hand moving to one of your sheaths. Realizing he must have taken your knife, you pushed yourself off the ground and began running towards the house, sprinting, its proximity seeming to get further and further the closer you got.

You pushed forward, eventually making it to the door. You opened it slowly, blinking in surprise when you noticed Lilla standing, her doll clutched in her hands, eyes wide in fear.

You turned your gaze to the side. You saw your father and mother, face down in their own blood. It was a scene you had imagined before — but this time, Rauf’s body was with them. His lifeless eyes stared back at you, mouth slightly ajar in surprise.

You tore your eyes away from him, only then noticing another body. A loud cry from Lilla made you realize it was Toby.

Rushing in front of Lilla to block her view, you gripped her shoulders in your hands, “Lilla, we have to go.” Not waiting for her to respond, you picked her up and ran out of the house, where the field was no longer a field, and rather the road to Novigrad. You didn’t hesitate as you sprinted in the direction of Novigrad’s gates.

It was when you got to the gates that you realized the little girl you had been holding had disappeared. You looked around, eyes wide in bewilderment.

“Y/N.”

You snapped your eyes back to the gates — there, was Jaskier. Only it wasn’t just him. Joneta stood, her arm wrapped tightly around Jaskier’s neck, holding him to her body. She held a knife in the other hand, against his throat. But it wasn’t just a knife. It was yours.

Her lips curled into a devious snarl, “I’ll never stop. And you shouldn’t either.”

You jumped forward,“No!” Somehow, you grabbed Joneta away from Jaskier, pulling her to your own chest. With one swift motion, you took the knife from her hand and slid it across her throat, the sound of her chokes echoing in the night.

Only it wasn’t her chokes. The sound was deeper, like—

You turned the person around, eyes widening when you realized it was Jaskier. It was Jaskier whose throat was slit. It was Jaskier that you killed.

Your knife clattered to the ground. “No.”

—

Your eyes shot open as you woke up to the recently rising sun pouring through the windows, and Jaskier gently strumming his lute.

You sighed in relief as you got up — you hadn’t dreamt that vividly in a while. You knew none of it was real, or course, but seeing Jaskier alive and well made your heart slow to a normal pace. It didn’t stop your frustration that he let you sleep in when you should have been on the road already, but the snide remarks you were going to make died on your tongue when you stood, pain shooting up your leg as a reminder of the night before.

It was a slow morning, slower than any of the others you had spent with Geralt and Jaskier. It was mostly your fault — you were forced to limp to avoid the pain of your injuries. If Jaskier hadn’t insisted on helping you walk, it might’ve taken a lot longer just to get to your horses.

Right — horses. Roach was no longer a lone stallion — with your still healing leg and the extra weight of Joneta’s body, you needed to get another horse. Jaskier didn’t even complain about using most of his saved coin on the steed, but he did insist on getting to ride it with you.

After you got out of the city of Novigrad, Geralt followed behind you, which you were glad for. You didn’t need to see Joneta’s lifeless body on the back of his horse, even if it was wrapped in sheets.

And for once, you were glad for Jaskier’s distractive company.

“So, where were you thinking?” He practically whispered in your ear as he sat behind you, his voice sending tingles along your skin. You had to force back a shudder, trying to focus on holding your new horses’ reigns — Buttercup, you and Jaskier decided upon. Well, mostly Jaskier. He insisted on having the final say for the name, and you didn’t blame him — especially since he paid for it. And although Buttercup wasn’t exactly…an audacious sounding name, it had a nice ring to it.

You sighed at the bard’s question, “For?”

“Burying Joneta.”

Your body went stiff. In his presence and once infuriating antics, you were able to push the real situation out of your head — you were able to relax, even if it was just for a moment. But in reality, you were not only on your way to bury the friend that you killed yourself, but also towards a bandit camp that you had no official plan for invading.

But recently, it didn’t seem like you had a plan for anything.

You sighed, letting your shoulders drop once more, “Somewhere in the forest. We’ll find it on the way, I’m sure.”

Jaskier breathed in, as if choosing his words carefully. “But…there’s nowhere special? Like…a place you two would hang out, or…gossip about all the…ravishing targets you had to kill at the blade of your own knives?”

Blade of your own knives. You shook the thought away, simultaneously ignoring the inevitable smile that was probably on Jaskier’s face. “No. We didn’t…do things like that.”

“What did you do?” He said after a moment, his voice softer.

You turned your head slightly, looking at him from the corner of your eye. His eyes bore into the side of your face, making you turn back to the road ahead of you.

“We killed,” you said simply, clenching your jaw. And Jaskier didn’t respond.

—

“Should we start?”

Jaskier’s voice didn’t faze you. You were staring at the body on the ground — Joneta’s body. It was wrapped in sheets — probably a lot of them, since you didn’t see any blood seeping through.

The three of you made it to a spot in the forest, where there was a good area to bury a body. It sounded strange to say, but it really was. You hadn’t been looking for a particular spot, but the flowers in the area made you stop Geralt and slide off Buttercup, walking further into the trees. Which was where you found this place. It was a smallish area, big enough for the grave you inevitably had to dig, with trees distant enough and in a strangely circular formation. The flowers around the area were a plus, so you tied up the horses and walked over.

And now you were standing there, with a shovel that somehow made its way into your hand, looking down at the spot Joneta’s body would lay. Forever.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?” You turned away from Joneta’s body, focusing on Jaskier’s concerned eyes. You blinked, finally registering his question, “Oh. Um. No.”

Jaskier frowned, “No?”

“I…need to do this alone.”

Jaskier stepped forward, gesturing to the bandage wrapped tightly around your thigh, “But your leg—“

“I’ll help dig. For a bit.” You were surprised to hear Geralt’s voice, his eyes catching your own when you turned to him. He looked back to Jaskier, nodding to where Buttercup and Roach were tied up, “You go watch the horses.”

Jaskier looked from you to Geralt, his face contorted in confusion. He looked like he wanted to stay, to help, but you shook your head. He slammed his mouth shut, nodding his head slowly.

“Okay. I’ll be…over there.” You watched the bard go, looking back to Geralt only when Jaskier disappeared behind the trees. The witcher’s golden eyes were on yours, making you take a deep breath.

He sent you a nod.

And then you started digging.

It wasn’t easy with your leg. Though you weren’t sure why Geralt stayed, you were glad he did. He was clearly making more progress than you, digging at a speed that could only be explained by his Witcher strength. Whatever that meant.

The two of you worked quietly, only sending each other slight nods or glances as communication. It was refreshing, to hear only the sound of the shovels digging into the dirt, the birds flying from tree to tree, the leaves swaying in the wind. And, of course, Jaskier’s distant singing.

Geralt helped you lower Joneta’s body into the grave, surprising you by how gently he lay it down onto the dirt. He climbed out of the hole wordlessly, only grunting as he stood up. He sent you a curt nod and left you to cover it up. You watched him go until he disappeared past the trees where the horses were, waiting until the very last second to let out a long, quiet sigh.

After a moment, you turned back around. You couldn’t help the pain that formed in your chest as you stepped forward, making yourself look down into the grave.

—

The square was crowded with people, as it usually was. Rauf was on business recruiting people into the fellowship, leaving you to entertain yourself for the day. The best way to do that was to watch people swarm the stands and buy useless items, all while sharpening the knife Rauf finally trusted you with having.

“Hey.”

You didn’t look up. Instead, you focused on the blade in your hands, letting its steel reflect sun rays into your eyes.

“I said, hey.” The person kicked your foot. You scrunched your nose, squinting at the girl who dared bother you.

Her expression was nothing more than bored, “Your uncle told me to find you.” She waited for you to respond. When you didn’t, she rolled her eyes. “Rauf.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t tell me.” She waited a moment, then sat down next to you. “But when I was eavesdropping, he said he wants you to have friends.”

“Psh. I don’t have friends,” you said simply, turning away from the girl beside you.

“That makes two of us.”

—

You tentatively wiped a tear that fell down your face, not bothering to worry about the dirt covering your hands. At this point, it felt like dirt was all you saw. It was all over the ground, sure, and it was now fully covering the place where Joneta’s body was buried — but it was also all over your hands, arms, and now, probably your face too.

You held your hands out in front of you, focusing on the way the dirt was caked under your fingernails. The soil reminded you of blood — Joneta’s blood, how it was covering your nails, your skin, your clothes.

Despite the urge to clean the dirt off, you let your hands fall into your lap and looked back ahead.

“People used to hate witchers.”

You were startled by the voice next to you. Somehow, Geralt managed to walk over and stand beside you without you noticing. He didn’t bother acknowledging the way you hastily wiped the tears from your face, instead sitting down beside you with a huff, “They’d spit when I walked into a room. Stoned me when I entered a village.”

You blinked, still taken aback by the witcher’s presence aside you. “But now they don’t.”

“No.” He turned to you with a hard gaze, “Ever heard of the Butcher of Blavikan?”

“Only stories,” You murmured. The Butcher of Blavikan was the talk of the guild for a while, but you never really paid much attention. But after a second, your eyes widened with realization. “That was you?”

Geralt only nodded. He looked ahead, his eyes clouding with regret, “I hurt someone. Someone who I thought could have redeemed herself. Could have walked away from the destruction she was causing.”

You cast your eyes downwards, back to the dirt covered ground. You swallowed the lump in your throat, “How did you…you know. Turn it around?”

“Jaskier.”

“Jas—“ You frowned, turning to the witcher with an astonished expression. “What?”

“Jaskier wrote a song.”

You blinked, “He…wrote a song?”

“As bards do.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile playing on your lips, “The coin one.”

He nodded.

You shook your head, astounded by your own ignorance. You had heard the song many times since being with the two, but never listened to it. Knowing Jaskier, he definitely fibbed the stories he went on, or reflected on, but still. You’d have to really listen to the lyrics the next time he played it.

Next time.

Would there be a next time? If all this was over — no, when — where did that leave you? Would you go back to your normal assignments? Travel and hope you would find jobs on notice boards, like a witcher?

Geralt’s voice broke through your thoughts. “It’s never easy to kill one of your own.”

One of your own. You turned to him, “Had much experience?”

“Too much.” He waited a moment before continuing. “The right choices are often the hardest. But the hardest choices…you often don’t know if they’re right.”

You watched him for a second, a smirk forming on your face before you could help it. You snorted, “You sound like a...stubbornly wise wizard.”

Geralt only chuckled. You squinted your eyes at him, an amused smile falling on your face. It was strange to see him acting this way — showing emotion. It was almost like…he trusted you.

You scoffed at the thought, making him turn to you with a questioning gaze. You shook your head, “Just thinking about when we first met. When you tried following me to my guild.”

His face went back to being serious, “I trust you now."

You laughed louder this time, “Says the person who followed me again.” Geralt’s eyes widened like he’d been caught redhanded. You’d only found out that Geralt had followed you to your new guild this morning, when Jaskier let it slip. It made sense why Geralt hadn’t been at the inn when...Joneta happened. At the witcher’s frown, you held back a smile and jutted your head behind you, where the very bard was still out of sight.

Geralt grunted, “Bard can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“And you can’t keep your witchery nose out of other people’s business.”

Geralt paused, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. As quickly as the surprise was there, it was overtaken by a smug smile. “Jaskier is getting to you.”

You smirked and shook your head. In more ways than one.

“I do trust you now,” he said once the smiles fell from your faces. You turned away from him, back to the grave in front of you.

“I know.” A sigh escaped your lips as something clenched at your heart. You placed a hand on the dirt in front of you and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath in and out before opening them again. Joneta’s body may be here, but she would always be with you. Like Geralt’s past was never forgotten, was immortalized in countless songs, you would always remember your own. And you’d have to live with it.

You stood up off the ground, looking down at the witcher with a determined frown, “Now let’s go take down this fucking bandit camp.”

———————————————————————————————————

Lots more Geralt in this chapter, hope y’all enjoyed! Stay safe as always :)

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yanjuniverse · 4 years

Text

RANKING MY TOP 5 FICS

hello everyone. let me just take a moment to introduce myself. my name is Megan and two years ago, I started this blog originally under the user name @/syzygy-yoongi to post one shots about the boys from IQIYI’s Idol Producer. since that time, i have gain a mass following (2,000+ today) that i am forever grateful for. i have also made many friends that i love dearly and am so blessed to have in my life.

when i began this blog, i didn’t expect so many people to pay attention or to read my stories. if you remember, i was pumping out chapters two or three times a day, finishing series within a week or two because i loved writing that much.

today, i’m going to rank my top five completed series that i have written. feel free to reblog with your own opinions/rankings as well or leave me an ask with your opinions about my stories! (i’m very bored).

Now let’s get this show on the road!

SPOILERS BELOW! vvv

1. Girls Like You (Cai Xukun)

Summary: IP High School is one of the most prestigious boarding schools in China for the fine arts. Owned by the Huang family, the school only accepts the best of the best. Many of China’s biggest stars came from this school and many of their students already have offers upon their graduation.

This year will be Cai Xukun’s fourth year at the school and fourth year witnessing the favoritism of his classmate, Zhu Zhengting (who’s parents are world class dancers) as well as the favoritism from students Fan Chengcheng (little brother of China’s most famous actress) and headmasters’ son, Huang Justin. The three of them are known to run the school. They get away with being late to classes, missing classes completely, missing assignments, talking back and Xukun swears he’s never seen them in full uniform. Safe to say that he kind of despises them and their “holier-than-thou” mindsets.

So when Justin’s sister joins them for her senior year, he could only roll his eyes at the news. While all of Xukun’s friends seem to fall for her, he can’t see the magic of it all.

“Girls like you? Girls like you are the kind that I can’t stand! You think just because you’re rich and pretty that we all have to fall for you? Well news flash, it’s not going to work on me. Now stay out of my way!”

MY OPINION: I really hold this fic near and dear to my heart because of the amount of work I put into the relationship between YN and Justin, YN and Zhengting and YN and Xukun. These were the three main relationships throughout the story that I feel really made readers pick sides. In all honesty, I was very nervous the first half the the story because everyone was on Zhengting’s side. This story was one of my most popular series and I was very pleased with the outcome, though I do have some regrets.

LOVED MOST: The relationship between YN and Justin. Justin’s character was the most difficult character I have ever portrayed. The early stages of developing his character actually spurred from Charlie from the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As for YN’s character, I grew up in a household where my parents were always at work and so I had to raise my younger siblings (obviously not to the extent of YN’s and my parents are kind people). Her motherly tendencies came a lot from the things I had personally done growing up (making meals, putting together backpacks, so on and so forth). I think of all the relationships I’ve ever written, YN’s and Justin’s “Huang or Die” relationship is always going to be my favorite.

BIGGEST REGRET: The ending. Looking back on it now, I honestly think the story should have gone another way. Of course YN runs from Zhengting but I personally think that the ending was way too rushed. It was something I put together in the matter of hours just because I wanted to get the story over with. I think now, I would have let YN have more time to be herself and to be a kid in Korea rather than carrying on being a mother. I also would have liked it if she had ended up with Chengcheng, the only boy in this entire story besides Zhengting, who had been there from start to finish . I would have also liked to have seen the more interaction with her and Yanjun and Ziyi, considering they, along with Bingbing were the main hands that took part in her escape.

2. SUBSCRIBE! (Xiao Gui)

Summary: Wang Linkai just posted videos of himself playing videos for fun. He never in a million years expected to build the type of following he did.

Zhu YN started off just posting little home videos for her and her friends. She never in a million years expected to build the type of following she did.

The one where you and Xiao Gui have no idea who the other is until one day, your brother sends you the link to a video called “REACTING TO TEXTS FROM AN ANGEL I MET TODAY!”

MY OPINION: Though Xiao Gui continues to be my bias up until today, the fic that I wrote for him is second place. I had a lot of fun writing it but with a more regrets than I did with Girls Like You. (Also let’s all remember when I wrote that he was a matcha frappe guy and then days later, he was papped with that exact drink).

LOVED MOST: Xiao Gui’s character development is something I’m always going to take pride in. I think out of all of my stories, his character was one of the most carefully planned. There were little details (such as when Gui goes from stealing Ziyi’s car keys to asking for them in the end) that really showed how much he grew. I’m also glad he didn’t just give up his dream for love and how he wanted YN to be free while he was away. I feel like had he been the same person from the beginning, he either would’ve given up his music career or made YN wait for him. I really loved to see how much he grew during this story.

BIGGEST REGRET: How YN knew Xiao Gui’s mother 🤦🏻‍♀️. That was such a plot twist ending that didn’t even make sense. I wish I had found a different way for YN to have gotten Gui to be with his mother other than “oh she sells me fruit”.

3. Smile for the Camera (Zhu Zhengting)

Summary: Nine Percent Photography is a small company with big names. Owned by Y/N, it features the faces of Cai Xukun, Chen Linong, Fan Chengcheng, Huang Justin, Lin Yanjun, Wang Ziyi and You Zhangjing.

Nine Percent Photography is best known for their creativity and ability to push their models into various aesthetics. They are one of the richest companies in Asia with every model raking in an estimated 2.3 million dollars every month. It is every model’s dream to be apart of this world class company.

Zhu Zhengting is an aspiring model. Up until this point, he has only scored small gigs. That is, until one phone call changed his entire life.

Zhengting finally has the chance to follow his dreams. He’s not going to let anything get in his way. Right?

MY OPINION: This story was the first story of mine that really blew up. It’s my pride and joy and where my following really started to build.

LOVED MOST: I loved the harmony between the company. It was like they were all destined to be together. I also liked how they were so honest with each other towards the end. I loved how they all had to fall apart to come back together. I also really appreciated Yanjun’s friendship with YN and how much YN loved her company.

BIGGEST REGRET: I should have made the the story longer so that YN and Zhengting could have had more time to fall in love with each other. I reread it a couple of weeks ago and honestly, the way the fell was so awkward and rushed. Had I gone back to write it, I would have focused more on their love story. I also wished I would have gone and written more about their modeling and/or their work since they were a modeling company. I also wished I had gone deeper into YN and Zeren’s backstory.

4. Oblivious (Wang Ziyi)

Wang Ziyi has never been the type to confront his feelings head on. He’s always swallowed the butterflies, tied his shoe laces and held on to the safety handle to make sure he never let him fall for anyone. He likes to say it’s because he doesn’t want to get his heart broken but his friends say that maybe he’s just saving those feelings for you.

the one where people aren’t sure whether you two really hate each other or really like each other.

MY OPINION: This was one of my more humorous stories. I’m usually an angst writer so getting to write Ziyi and YN in such a playful manner was like a breath of fresh air. This is also the story that came after I took my first hiatus (which was supposed to be like a week but ended up being like a day lol). I remember the stress of wanting to write something angsty for Ziyi and not having the storyline so instead, I decided to write a funnier story for him. Though, not as popular as Girls Like You, Subscribe! or Smile for the Camera, it still ranks high for me.

LOVED MOST: I LOVED HOW FUNNY ZIYI AND YN’S CHARACTERS WERE — actually all of them! One of my favorite parts of the story is always going to be the line where Linong says he has “bible study in an hour” and Yanjun replies “PLEASE STOP CALLING YOUR THEOLOGY (the study of the nature of God and religious beliefs) CLASS BIBLE STUDY!” All of the characters played a big part in the story unlike in the others where characters like Zhangjing and Linong are more of the background extras.

BIGGEST REGRET: THE WHOLE ENDING! I remember a lot of people were upset with YN and her plans and I agree because what she did was a bit uncalled for. But I remember just wanting it to end so I let it end the way it did. Had I gone back and rewritten it, I probably would have let Xingjie and YN play out for a bit before the two realized they were better off as friends. Sort of along the lines of Lara Jean and John Ambrose.

5. Trust Me - Lin Yanjun

Summary: Summary: Ever since you were a freshman in high school, Wang Ziyi has always felt the need to protect you. Now you’re a freshman in college and nothing has changed. When he hears that the labeled player, Lin Yanjun, is trying to make his way into your life, Ziyi finds it harder to keep his secret under wraps - especially when you make friends with You Zhangjing, Lin Yanjun’s best friend.

MY OPINION: Ah yes. I feel like this is a forgotten story of mine. It was one of my first ever series. I think I was still @/syzygy-yoongi at the time that I wrote this. I still get nostalgic when I see people finding it now. This is actually the story that got me into writing series (I had never written one before Trust Me) when a follower suggested the idea to me.

LOVED MOST: I really loved the plot twist at the end. I think of all of my stories, this was the only one that I really planned out and stuck to it. I didn’t overthink Trust Me because at the time, I did get have many followers and I didn’t have anyone to disappoint.

BIGGEST REGRET: I think the reason why I ranked Trust Me so lowly is because of the lack of quality it had. It was the earliest development of what yanjuniverse is today. This is the story that made me realize that I really had a knack for angst. I have the fondest memories of Trust Me and I’m so happy I wrote it.

Conclusion: This was my top five rankings for my completed series. Of course it doesn’t go into my incompleted series (I Bet would’ve knocked Trust Me right off of this list). This was a complete waste of time but just something I wanted to do because I had just spent the past couple of weeks rereading my fics. Hope you all enjoyed and if you made it this far, thank you so much. I’m so grateful for this blog. It really made me who I am today. I’m so grateful for the memories and how much I grew from these stories!

#yanjuniverse #idol producer #nine percent #megan wastes time

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mcrmadness · 3 years

Note

I've been meaning to ask this for a while, but do you have any song or album recommendations for Apulanta? So far I've only heard Toinen jumala and Lokin päällä lokki. Absolute bangers, but I've always had a hard time listening to new songs for some reason. Guess it's a comfort zone thing? Also, do you have any other Finnish band recommendations? I just think the language sounds pretty.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA thanks for asking about my hyperfixation and also sorry because now I cannot shut up but you can only blame yourself for that!!! XDDD

No really, I had to look for the song Toinen jumala because I remember it exists but I think it was just some special release that was not on any studio album - they do those sometimes - I am not even sure if I have listened to this song before :D But it sounds incredible!!!

Anyway, both of those songs are in their nu-metal style. And the song and album recommendations really depend on what you want from music. They have a quite long history - the band was founded in 1991 and they have been through lots of changes what comes to their musical style - still somehow they have managed to sound like Apulanta for all these years and I don’t know any other band that would sound exactly like them. No song on an album is like the other and you can’t listen to just one song and think you have heard the whole album now. (Sounds familiar eh? :D) Anyway, I’d say they kinda went from punk to “melodic minor key pop” - that is an actual description of their first album, which didn’t sell as well because they made what they thought people wanted to hear instead of what they wanted to play (but I love the album too!) - and then back to punk after almost breaking up because people didn’t like them that much. From punk rock they evolved to alternative rock, to a bit harder nu-metal sounding music. In 2004 their bassist left the band after 7 albums, and this is the time when I kinda grew out of their music and stopped listening to them.

I found the newer music only last year or something, I was never interested in it because it was too metallic for me and the songs I heard from the radio were either uninteresting or too slow for me. But that was a mistake I made because I literally judged the whole albums based on just a few single songs and those did not tell the truth of the albums. I really learnt to like those albums, but my favorites will be forever their first 5 albums.

So I see you have now heard only newer songs. I don’t really even like Lokin päällä lokki, because I have never understood nu-metal. Explains why I wasn’t that much into their albums Heinola 10 (6th, 2001) or especially Hiekka (7th, 2004). Heinola 10 still has several very awesome songs but I have never really gotten behind Hiekka, even today.

So, shortly: if you want punk, listen to Ehjä (2nd, 1996) or Kolme (3rd, 1997). If you prefer alternative and a bit more metallic rock, also accompanied with string instruments, then go for Aivan kuin kaikki muutkin (4th, 1998) or Plastik (5th, 2000). Plastik is actually my favorite album of all these, but I’m also love Ehjä and Kolme, and am very fond of their first album: Attack of the A.L. People (1995). They also have tons of great b-sides so the single compilation albums are great too.

From the newer albums the lates 2 are my favourites and I actually like to divide their history into two: old Apulanta (1991-2004) and new Apulanta (2005->), mainly because I was a fan when I was 9 yeras old and old Apulanta was a part of my childhood, but then I had a pause and found them again in 2008 or 2009, and started listening to the “new Apulanta albums” for the first time pretty much a decade later.

This is the song that peaked my interest after years, it was the first punk sounding new AL song I had heard ever since their late 90s era and I liked this song a lot and it still slaps!!! The song is called Zombeja! and here’s it’s music video too:

youtube

I’ll put more songs from different eras and styles under the cut! The max amount of videos in one post if 5 so I’ll put the audio ones behind links.

For other band recommendations - there’s plenty of bands but it really depends on what is the genre and other things you’re going for. I don’t think I can put too many videos in one so I can e.g. reblog this post with videos from other bands I like - I’m not too fond of Finnish music as it’s mostly metal or boring Finnrock and I don’t like those really. Or you can also send another ask where you specify what you would like to hear so I can try to find something that’d match that.

OLDER STUFF:

Systeemi kusee - from their punk era. At this point they still had two singer-guitarists. The title means “The system sucks”.

ATTACK OF THE A.L. PEOPLE:

youtube

Here’s my favorite song, Aurinkoon (”To the sun”), with a video where it’s a playback but for some reason the recording is not in sync at all but I can’t find a better video of this at all. I think someone filmed it from a dvd from tv screen.

Päivästä toiseen (”Day after day”), no words, it’s a bit slow but I think it’s really pretty!

EHJÄ:

youtube

...silti onnellinen (”...still happy”). The second and third album were very similar but not in a bad way.

Mitä kuuluu? was the hit that was their breakthrough. It was first released on an ep called “Hajonnut”, “Broken” in English, and they were going to break up if it didn’t work. But it did work, better than ever, so they stayed together and that’s why the second album was named as Ehjä, “Intact”.

KOLME:

youtube

Mitä vaan (”Anything”) is one of my favorite songs still day, of all time.

Mato (”Worm”), this is hilarious. I love the lyrics but unfortunately can’t translate them right now :D

AIVAN KUIN KAIKKI MUUTKIN:

youtube

Hallaa/008 (”Frost”) is just so. good. Also the video is interesting, it’s very gore and has nothing to do with the song itself :D Their old bassist directed all of these old videos of theirs.

Teit meistä kauniin/007 is one of their most famous songs. On this album they didn’t give the songs any titles, they gave only numbers to them and because of that I still am not entirely sure what are all the songs on the album. I don’t have names for them and I only remember the single releases and other songs that ended up having names in public. It’s interesting.

PLASTIK:

Käännä se pois (”Turn it away”), I just... this is very similar to the next song but I love them both - this might be the one whose audio I remember from my childhood.

Odotus (”Waiting”), I remember this music video from my childhood. It’s my only actual memory of the time when I was a “fan” of them. The actor in the video was in a Finnish soap opera (that my mom didn’t let me watch but I watched it was my cousins’) and I was very confused of why he was in the video and if it was him. Somehow didn’t understand what an actor is.

Terä: with a video but low quality OR better audio but no video, I’m linking this only because it’s one of my favorites and really shows how this album can yet again be so diverse!

Ei yhtään todistajaa, this just slaps and also has a cool video for it.

Maailmanpyörä (”Ferris Wheel”), absolutely one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. EVER.

^You can see maybe that it’s my favorite album :D I just can’t decide only one song!

OTHER STUFF:

They have also made two English albums - both have songs with lyrics either translated into English or with completely new English lyrics but all the songs are originally in Finnish. With the second one they clearly have rerecorded the whole songs but with the first one they have just done the vocals:

Viper Spank

Apulanta (Import) - I think this is actually an English version of their 2002 album Heinola 10.

***

Okay I think this is enough for now! Here are lots of my favorite songs, lots of videos (unfortunately there’s no better quality versions of the old videos anywhere) and way too much text! I hope you’re not overwhelmed and feel free to ask if there’s something you want to know! You can also see my Apulanta tag for newer songs (and also for some older ones) since I’ve been hyperfixating on the newer albums a lot lately (I saw them live in last February and never recovered lol).

I think I won’t talk about other bands here now - except if you are interested in comedy rock or fun punk, then there’s Klamydia. But I think I should do an individual post about them in that case. Anyhow, check this song from my favorite album, the song is called Ooko tehny lenkkiä (pyörällä ilman penkkiä) aka “Have you driven a bike (without the saddle)” and, well, the lyrics are what you can imagine them to be too :D The sound of that song just clicked to me and had so much dä energy I just had to listen to them even more :D Let me know if you want to know more about them too, tho with them the fun part literally is in the lyrics (and sometimes in videos) so it might be difficult to understand things sometimes.

#useless-blog-of-a-moth #answered asks #apulanta #apulanta master post (kinda)#finnish music

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aesthetic-survivor-of-twd · 5 years

Note

What will you do when you leave this blog? are you still going to be on Tumblr or are you leaving everything? it's sad that we won't be able to speak to you anymore.

(This will be the last post I make on this until the day comes just so i’m not killing everyone’s Tumblr dashboard with my depressing stuff)

----

I was going to address this when it actually happened but since some people have been asking me things regarding it ever since it was brought up, i’m going to answer some common questions (hope you don’t mind me compiling them here on your Ask - I just don’t want to annoy anyone with me constantly talking about it on the blog ^^;). Here are some common questions:

When are you leaving?

I don’t know. I want to say after the Louis Character Study but I’ll see how it goes. I might be around for a short while after it in case people want to say anything to me but I can’t see me being here until the end of the year.

What does this actually mean for the blog? Will it be deleted?

I will still be on Tumblr - just not running this blog anymore. This blog will never be deleted, but I won’t be making posts or answering Asks anymore (though given how slow my queue is posting these days I won’t be surprised if it’s still posting even after I leave ^^;). I’ll most likely be using my main Tumblr to reblog normal things and maybe set up a new blog for DC related stuff or something idk.

Is there a way we can still talk to you after it happens?

If you have me on Discord or something then I will still be interacting with you - probably more so actually since I won’t be juggling something else on top of it. As well as that, I might come on here to respond to private messages people send me since I do have friends on here that I talk to.

Why ARE you leaving?

That’s...a very long answer which I don’t think i’ll go into right now. But I guess the simplest way to explain it is that my blog is no longer what it once was and i’m now at a crossroad where I either:

A) Cling onto this blog on the off chance that I have messages to respond to all while dealing with the depression i’ve gotten myself into over it.

B) Leave my blog and move on - helping myself mentally and also leaving my blog with some dignity left instead of driving it into the ground with random nonsense.

It’s kinda hard to explain but I feel like as much as I love this fandom, having myself still linked to it with how everything has changed is just doing more harm to my mental health than good? I don’t know if that makes any sense or not.

My blog died when episode 4 dropped and arguably a little before then. And i’m not complaining - that’s just how things are. I started off in this fandom as a blog analysing the shit out of Louis, then became someone who analyses everything in the season as well as a source of TWDG news and updates.

Without all of the above as well as an audience, I’ve kind of lost my sense of purpose here. And to be someone who was so focused on the above to now no longer having any of that...is kind of depressing? right now I feel like i’m clinging onto old memories because i’m scared to leave them, but i’m not progressing either so i’m just stuck in this weird limbo, you know?

If I don’t leave this blog then i’ll just keep clinging onto it until I make myself worse. I need to put TWDG behind me and move on for my own sake. Which is funny because months ago i’m pretty sure I was all like; “I will never leave this blog until the day I die” lol.

But yeah, I hope people understand what I’m trying to say.

In Conclusion

I’ve always been a firm believer of ending on a high note. I applied that perspective onto TFS when I said that despite being sad that it’s over, I’m glad that Clem’s story ended on a good note and won’t be ruined by being dragged on until it loses what charm it had left.

Well, the same goes for this blog.

I want it to be remembered for the good it did and the joy it brought people - even if it’s ultimately coming to a close. Because the memories I/we had on here were real and i’m forever grateful for them. I don’t want to be remembered as that blog that faded out and just kept talking about depressing stuff until it drowned out everything else. I want to be remembered for what I was during the season when we were all having fun together and gushing over all of the wonderful characters.

Things change and and things end, but that’s okay.

#asks #i'll put it under a read more bar so it's not spamming people

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oveliagirlhaditright · 4 years

Note

I would absolutely love to work on those GIFs for you. Please send me all the ideas you have. I re-watched the series a couple of months ago and have some things in mind, but I think I need to refresh again. So yes, your ideas on the transgenics and anything else. Helps me get started on it. Thanks for the reblog and I will try and get the Max and Logan one out soon. You can reply to this with your ideas!

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much! And sorry in advance if I go overboard with this. Hahaha. And if I do, feel free to ignore me and only do the ones of these you want:)

I’ve actually done a few screenshot Dark Angel things that aren’t the greatest. So if you wanted to remake some of those as gifs, I wouldn’t mind at all. https://oveliagirlhaditright.tumblr.com/post/188483190012/i-know-brainiac-is-arguably-the-most-hated, https://oveliagirlhaditright.tumblr.com/post/186108463327/i-saw-alec-saying-the-move-your-furniture-thing.

And then some other ideas I had… uhh. It’d be cute–if you wanted to, I mean–if you gifed all the times Max and Logan held hands, or almost kissed… Or to do a comparison gifset between when Max says in the finale season of season one (And Jesus Brought a Casserole) “I’d kiss you, but I have to keep my head in the game”, with her in season two saying to Logan (Proof of Purchase): “Thanks, Logan. I’d hug you, but-”

Max kind of posing with the pool stick and smiling after Logan says he’s at Crash to see her in Fugheddaboutit is really cute. And so is the scene in Harbor Lights when they’re just smiling at each other when Max is in the hospital bed. Or when Max is telling Logan, in Gill Girl, how she wants this story to have a happy ending… and you can just tell he knows–without her saying it–that she wants the merepeople to have a happy ending, since they can’t right now. And before that in Gill Girl, when Logan is calling Max… and then hears her ringtone in his apartment, and then sees her coming in with a mermaid slung over her shoulder as she says “I’ll hit you back later!” That was funny.

Logan’s speech about how it never mattered to him what Max was in Love Among the Runes is good, as is the whole scene when he’s sticking up for the transgenics that they do have souls, in Dawg Day Afternoon. And if you wanted to do a “Logan character development” post you could, in comparing Haven (”How can I even think of having a good time, when the man who orchestrated the shootings was a cop… and he not only got away with it, but got promoted for it, too?!”) with Proof of Purchase (”Well, you can only fight corruption for son long before you have to kick back and relax.”)

You could also do Max character development ones if you wanted! Like, in the Pilot when she’s telling Logan that people are looking to kill her, put her in a cage, or turn her into a science experiment or all three… and that she’s gotten by through keeping her head down and wants to keep it that way, and not help people… with the season two finale (Freak Nation), where she’s saying “Where will you go? I can’t force anyone to stay. But I’m tired of running, hiding, and being afraid. Aren’t you tired of running? Of being in being in darkness? Don’t you want to feel the sun on your face? It’s time to make a stand, right here and right now. They created us, and it’s time that they owned up to that instead of trying to sweep us away like garbage” and that sort of thing. Or how in the Pilot (even though she’s partially lying here) when she tells Logan that she doesn’t blame herself at all for what happened to him, and that it’s on him “one-hundred percent”. But then in Meow she and Original Cindy have this conversation: Cindy: The truth is, you love Logan. Max: We’re not even like that, and the fact is we both would have been better off if we’d never even meet. Cindy: Please. Max: He has to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair because of me. Cindy: I didn’t see you on TV, pulling no trigger. Max: Yeah, but I could’ve protected him and I didn’t and that’s on me “one-hundred percent”.

I also love how Max and Logan give each other a piece that the other was missing: Logan suggesting that Max choose a birthday (C.R.E.A.M), and then her giving him back his mother’s locket in Art Attack. Or also how I think it was in Max going to the wedding with Logan in Art Attack, that she finally chose a last name for herself “Guevara”, and then began using it from then on out.

I once did a screenshot post (that I’ve since deleted), of Charlie telling Case the “storybook” version of Tinga’s life (this happens in Hit A Sista Back) that she’d told Charlie and Case (that neither of them had any idea was real at first), paired with Max incredulously saying to Bling about Logan in 411 on the DL, “I’ll go over and read him a bedtime story.” And then after that, I put Charlie telling Max and Logan in Hit A Sista Back, how he didn’t regret any of the time that he had with Tinga… and he’s essentially telling Max and Logan to get together there… and you can kind of tell by the way they’re looking at each other, that maybe they want this “bedtime story” for themselves, too. And if you wanted to remake this, you totally could:)

I also did another post in the past, that you could remake… Where Max says to Logan in C.R.E.A.M, that she’s surprised a high-minded, leftist, idealist like him would be okay with her greasing the enemies… and then paired it with her saying (in Prodigy) that she isn’t as high-minded as Logan is, with the idea that life is good and murder is bad, so she should have just let Lydecker go for that reason.

The scene where Original Cindy is talking to Max about Diamond at the end of Shorties in Love is really good overall, and is speaking of both the Max/Logan and Original Cindy/Diamond relationships, that could be cool to see gifed:)

You could also do a Max and Original Cindy comparison, where Max has to touch Logan’s hand through glass in Proof of Purchase and Original Cindy has to do that with Diamond in Shorties in Love.

Speaking of, any Original Cindy content–like with her and Max–would be awesome. I personally love the scene where they’re dunking the guy in the hot tub in Art Attack, being such a team, to get information out of him.

Gifs of Max being smart and a badass would also be great.

And just anything with Tinga, Brin, Syl, Jace, Jondy, and Mia would make me so happy.

You could even do a gifset that explains where the name of the show comes from: “Forever eyes, dark. Somebody’s angel” (the poem Logan made for Max in Shorties in Love) and Art Attack. Guy that Max Saves from Jumping Off a Building: “You’re the messenger, right?” Max: “Yeah?” Guy: “Well, I’ve never been much of a believer before… but you personally coming here to straighten me out like this. Thank you”. Max, smiling: “I’ll see about getting you that package back” (he thought she was an angel).

So these are just some of the crazy Dark Angel ideas I have. Feel free to use any or none of them. And thank you so much again:) And if you need me to try and explain any of this better, I can.

Edit: You could also gif what I believe is the closest we ever got to Max and Logan saying they were together in this series (aside from the times they told each other “I love you”, I mean. Or at least started to say it). Max saying angrily in “Boo” after Rafer insinuated Logan was her ex: “He’s not my ex! …I mean, we’re not like that.” And then Mia asking Logan in “Fugheddaboutit”: “You’re Max’s boyfriend, right?” And him saying, “Something like that.” You could also maybe have fun gifing all the times they said the ridiculous “we’re not like that” line, and then prove how untrue that was. LOL.

Edit 2: I also loved the scenes we got that showed how much Max and Logan knew each other, and that they got to know each other even moreso in scenes we didn’t see. Like when Max is sad in one episode (though I don’t remember which one it is), that he sold a painting his grandmother had given him, I think, to try and find a cure for the Virus (and we hadn’t known that painting was from his grandmother before this). Or when in Gill Girl, Max knows so much about people in Logan’s family–like Bitsy–and is talking about them with him, even though the audience had never heard of them before. Or in Some Assembly Required, when Logan knew how much Zack being alive would mean to Max and is gently and somewhat excitedly telling her, “You’re brother’s alive, Max.” …And really, just how kind Logan was to Zack actually says a lot about his love for Max, since Zack was always cruel to him (and I say this as a Zack Stan).

Edit 3: You could also do a Space Needle journey: Max on the Space Needle in the Pilot, Max asking Logan about going on the Space Needle in Heat, but him refusing since he’s scared of heights… Them almost going together at the end of Rising, but not for some reason… And then them finally getting there on Jesus Brought a Casserole together, and then Logan alone on the Space Needle at the end of And Jesus Brought a Casserole–echoing what Max said in the Pilot. Also, speaking of Max and Logan being on top of buildings: Max being on top of Logan’s penthouse in the Pilot, and Logan being on top of it in She Ain’t Heavy (as it seems he finally got over his fear of heights).

Edit 4: Gifs of Max interacting with kids could also be cool, since she loved them.

#sorry that a lot of these are max and Logan. I don't even know if you like them #and if you don't you don't have to do these or go overboard with them #but they actually don't get the love they deserve from the fandom even though they were the canon pairing #and main characters #so that's why most of the stuff here is about them:)

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cuddleslutloki · 5 years

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I have a genuine question. How often do you actually deal with antis? I've been following you for a bit now and it seems every so often you bring up antis. I've certainly kept my interest about thorki shut and locked away in a box from my friends for the simple fact that all of them think it's incest. It's not an easy topic of conversation but you just seem to handle all the antis so well? Also on an off note about beast!Thor, his favorite pass time must just be rutting into Loki 24/7 🤔

when someone tells you that you're romanticizing abuse [bc i made a stockholm moodboard for a fic] I don't know what I'm supposed to say other than I don't condone it but I write about it? Is writing about abusive relationships bad in writing??? you're the only person i ask for advice so thank you for anything in advance

i’m honestly really glad you came to me. i really do like discussing this topic in this kind of way bc i’ll never reblog an anti or answer an anti ask. even if you’re arguing against them, i don’t think it’s worth it to argue against them if it means also spreading what they’re saying

the basic premise of all anti behavior and ideology is censorship. that’s all it is.

“i don’t like this topic, you need to stop writing it and making art for it. if you don’t stop there will be consequences.”

that is censorship and that is the kind of shit fandom has had to fight ever since there’s been fandom. women, poc, lgbt+ folks have been dealing with people telling us what we can and can’t write and enjoy for... well, probably forever. but we’re still here, creating the kind of content we want to see and indulge in.

as far as how to deal with antis, my advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. they want what any bully wants: attention

you stop paying attention, you stop giving them time they don’t deserve from you, they’ll die off. there’s no point in fighting them directly. produce the content you want to see and enjoy what you want to enjoy. drown them out. you don’t owe them a response just because they come to you. they don’t have any qualms about being rude to you, so be rude back and just ignore them. i love blocking antis, personally. take out the garbage, y’know?

antis use the words ship and support as synonyms because they think that shipping is some radical call to action for lgbt rep instead of entertainment

shipping is not activism. shipping is about entertainment and enjoyment, nothing more

so this is why i have this very blasé attitude about antis. i just don’t give a fuck about them beyond making posts trashing their idiocy. because that’s what it is. it’s idiocy, but going deeper it’s puritanism at its finest. antis use fox news scare tactic logic under the guise of some pseudo feminist agenda because they don’t understand and don’t want to understand that enjoying dark fiction as entertainment isn’t equivalent to some greater moral stance

they use the same argument about shipping and fanfiction that WASP moms use against video games and loud music: that enjoying and consuming it will make you think it’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it irl

okay, well, vlad the impaler never played CoD or far cry and caligula never watched hentai but we know why i’m bringing them up in this context without even heading over to wikipedia, don’t we?

they use the words abuse and pedophilia waaaaaayy too liberally and they’re doing more harm than good because they’re twisting and warping words that should have very specific meanings by using them so goddamn vaguely and irresponsibly

my own personal theory is that these people are terrified that if they don’t yell in opposition to these topics 24/7 and actively attack content creators that they’d probably enjoy it, and they’ve been so programmed by the echo chamber of tumblr and twitter that they think this means they’re bad people.

spoiler alert: that’s not what it means

i literally watched a circle jerk on twitter where screenshots of some mafia starker au got tweeted and retweeted w/ pictures of someone pouring bleach into cereal and people had asked to see more of the post. if you really don’t like something, you shouldn’t hate-read about it. it’s not productive, it does more harm than good if that’s the actual issue rather than some reverse psychology-style enjoyment they’re probably getting out of it.

they claim to hate this shit so much, but they’re reading hundreds and thousands of words and putting these images in their heads of their own free will. i don’t do that with shit i genuinely dislike. i avoid it.

i see antis say they enjoy thorki fanart because they think it’s cute, then they see it’s tagged thorki and they have an over the top reaction because the nature of anti ideology states you should never enjoy something like that, so if you do then you have to make the excuse of ignorance to prove that you’re still innocent and pure. enjoyment is apologism to them because they aren’t content to simply attack fan creators, they want to try and drive away the people who consume our art as well because they know you’re the cornerstone of fandom. consumers are why creators create. yeah, i write because i enjoy it, but i also write to connect to my readers and have people commenting on my fics when they like them.

it’s also worth noting that antis only ever talk about shipping. they only talk about sexual and romantic ships. i’ve never seen an anti talk about (often extreme) levels of violence in canon source material for the ships and characters they want to froth at the mouth over.

seeing someone bleed out and choking on their own blood after being stabbed or shot or bludgeoned? meh

seeing a character who was once a child have a sexual thought about a character who was also once a child and is also their close friend? omg why are we trying to make fandom unsafe for people?

personally, i’ve also noticed that fandoms with darker canon material tend to have more chill fandoms most of the time. i think it also depends on the average age in a given fandom. there’s a major difference between fannibals and steven universe fans, let’s just say that.

creating a moodboard for a dark fic is not “romanticizing abuse” and at this point antis honestly have no fucking idea what that phrase is. they use those words the way a bored CEO uses social media buzzwords and hashtags in a staff meeting

if antis want to see true romanticizing of abuse then they can go to serial killer thirst tags and spot the fucking differences between shippers and people who forget that ted bundy was weak, flaccid, cowardly piece of shit

writing something dark or violent or whatever else and condoning the act or doing the act are different. this is why stephen king isn’t under government surveillance or in prison.

make no mistake, this anti shit only applies to fandom. they’re attacking creators here because creators out at the professional levels don’t give a fuck. they’ve tried, and they’ve failed.

creators at the professional level understand something antis don’t: that being able to reconcile your enjoyment of dark media can be a sign of emotional intelligence and good emotional health. it’s cathartic. it’s allowed to be cathartic.

the most common consumers of dark fiction are members of minority communities and people who’ve been emotionally and/or sexually repressed for one reason or another.

antis want to say that fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and they are 100% correct! because writing fanfiction and original fiction that relates to parts of my life that nearly killed me gives me control over something that was beyond me in the original context. writing about fucked up codependent, violent romance allows me to process my shit in a way that’s healthy and produces something fun and enjoyable.

my therapist knows i ship thorki, she knows i write thorki. i’ve had her read pieces of fanfiction i’ve written in addition to pieces of original fiction. y’know what she said? “wow, baylen, that’s vivid. you have a way with words!”

i read her a line out of smart boy and told her what the story was about and this trained professional said “well it’s a productive way to process some emotion that you clearly need to let out”

but you know what? if someone doesn’t have the trauma i have? let them write it, too! let them create and enjoy the fictional content they want! more cake, y’all!

finally getting around to one of the first parts of your ask, lol. thorki is incest. thor and loki are brothers. they were raised believing they were blood brothers, even. loki being adopted doesn’t change a thousand years of personal history where thor looked at loki and thought that they came out of the same woman, y’know?

that’s his brother and in the comics his attachment to loki is even more intense. the mcu nerfed that shit. loki’s life has been intrinsically tied to thor’s ability to feel a full sense of joy.

enjoying an incest ship isn’t some sign of moral depravity. writing abusive relationships isn’t bad. gone girl was made into an award winning movie. art should look like life, and sometimes life fucking sucks. dark stories, sad stories, fucked up holy shit idk if i can go to sleep after i read this stories exist for a reason. we need them. we have to have an outlet for our frustration, our anger, and especially our fear.

so which is the healthier option of these

to write up a piece of fanfiction where two siblings are in love in a way that might be cute and soft or might be destructive, depending on your mood?

attacking strangers you don’t know online and threatening violence against anyone who doesn’t think like you do?

i know what kind of person i want to be.

ship and let ship, thanks for reading my doctoral thesis office hours are always

#anon #baylen chats

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robertsbarbie-archive · 5 years

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Hey! So for some reason as I sat on my bathroom floor cleaning out the stuff under the sink I got this idea to make small playlists for people instead of a follow thing or in Kahoots with it? and want to fill their new year with maybe some new music or whatever and yeah. So these are all playlists for you guys that reminded me of you or songs I just think you’d like💕 (this is also why I’ve been so annoying the last couple of days asking about what streaming services you use)(also I love stupid jokes so be prepared)

Now please enjoy my suffering:

@sweetertayfiction : Asif, HEY LISTEN HERE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE IVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS YOU WERE PROBABLY MY FIRST FRIEND ON HERE YOURE AN ANGEL HAVE A GREAT YEAR

@bisexualgorgeous : Hannah, I don’t know where to start, not gonna lie I was so intimidated by you and your talent but since we’ve become friends I’ve come to realize that you’re such an amazing genuine person with a scary amount of talent who I am overjoyed to be friends with. (Also fun fact the first edit that “made it big” for me was one that you reblogged and complimented and that still means the world to me. And thank you for taking a chance on me with daily Taylor edits)

@spendsmychange : Ellie, We’re both each other’s biggest fans. I love you so much. Your personality and talent is top notch. I’d burn at the stake for you and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@getaway-car : Han, Throwback to when I had a stroke when you followed me cause I had looked up to you for so long and couldn’t believe you followed me. You’ve made me feel so appreciated. You’re so amazing in every way. Also, YOUR EDITS ARE SO FUCKING GOOD AHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM AND YOU NUMBER ONE HAN STAN FOR LIFE

@battledemo : Han, I don’t even know what to say. You mean so much to me. And being able to rant or talk about music with someone who gets it I don’t think I’d be able to give enough thanks. You’re probably my best friend, Han. I love you and would do anything for you 💕

@ciwyw2 : Maggie, HEY REMEMBER WHEN WE MET AND NOTHJNG IN THE WORLD CAN TOP THAT. But for reals you’re unreal, you helped me with my concert anxiety, you’re so funny and nice, out conversations are the best (also I see you reblogging my old crappy edits) rep tour kc will always be my favorite concert cause of you

@taylorsnewdress : Tori, HEY DID YOU KNOW YOURE GORGEOUS AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOU???? CAUSE I JUST WANNA SCREAM IT ALL DAY EVERDAY AT YOU

@diamondseaside : Tina, my New Years resolution is to make you believe I am Taylor Swift also hey did you know that I absolutely adore you in every way?

@ikywts : Raquel, Hello angel. Wow. Idk what to say. I just love you and you make my heart feel safe

@tshifty : Kristin, you are so fucking smart. Sorry, I just felt like I needed to say that. Because you are and the way you handle things is a plus. You’re also talented, funny, and just overall a great person. I’m so glad I’ve come to know you better.

@partayswiftie : Ash, I’m still bitter you walked past me multiple times at kc. (But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you and that I don’t think you’re one of the most amazing things to ever exist cause I do. ALSO J TOLD YOU YOUD MEET TAYLOR BEECH)

@friendlyneighborhoodpegacorn : Emma, my biggest life regret is not meeting you at KC. I can only attest if to the fact that you don’t exist cause you’re peak humanity with talent beauty and humor and also Play With My Cats is on a whole other level of humanity so that’s all the evidence I need.

@lfthiswasamovie : Em, Have I screamed that I love you at you enough? Cause I do and being your secret Santa was just the best and no matter what I’m hear for you angel.

@fearlessthealbum : Emily, I still need to get you Fearless mercy sorry I forgot bb. Also, how is one person as hysterical as you?

@itsdarkandalltoquiet : Ruby, you are a very non annoying child and ily

@colorsinautumnsobright : Autumn, you’re so kind and intelligent and always trying to light up others lives I love you so much.

@teardropsonmyguitar : AMANDA, I feel like you need your own post tbh you have been so amazing and getting to know you has been a gift. FIRST BURN SLAPS SO THANKS FOR THAT. I’m really not sure what to say, but I love you have a great new year.

@lovemademecrazys : Vicki, The only thing prettier than your edits is you and your soul. You’re so amazing.

@bleachellataylor : April, I have more Bleachella memes happy new year

@millionlittleshiningstars12 : Adrian, you’re so amazing and I’m so glad we’ve grown closer

@imhereonthekitchenfloor : Catherine, PRETZEL QUEEN, I looked for pretzel songs and couldn’t find any I’m sorry (I didn’t try that hard cause I’m tired but I tried) I’m here for you forever I love you you pretzel angel

@1989deluxe : Nikita, I love you more than you love sad beautiful tragic

@nowcanwebabes : Katie, you’re an actual goddess I love you

@bunchsrebecca : Miranda, LISTEN BEECH YOU ARE SO FUNNY CREATIVE AND TALENTED AND IM SO GALD WE MET AND GET TO CONTINUE BEING BERDS TOGETHER ABOUT THINGS LIKE CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND AND MUSICALS I LOVE YOU BYE

@beginagain : Julia, okay this isn’t a note for Julia this is a note for y’all GO READ JULIAS BOOK ON WATTPAD ITS SO GOOD IM ACTUALLY IN LOVE SHES SO TALENTED AHHHHHHH

@thslove : Kathryn, A Place in This World is a good song you’re just mean

@heartsremainbreakable : Sarah, you have taught me so much I’m so grateful for people like you in the world. I love you enjoy the new year.

@ialmostdos : Sarah, I love getting to see your amazing face everyday through Snapchat and your personality is one of the best.

@swiftie-in-red : Rainey, You’re so nice and we have so many common interests I’m so glad to have met you and can’t wait to talk more about Percy Jackson

@fearlessplatiumedition : Rachel, I 👏 LOVE 👏 YOU 👏 SO MUCH YOURE AMAzing

@eyesoqen : Karli, (yours will come later) you’re such a blessing to this Earth and I’m glad I get to exist at the same time as you

@ours-ssong : Elisabeth, (yours will come later) don’t tell Ruby but your my favorite child. I love you so much and seeing you grow throughout the year in so many things has been amazing. Also y’all did you know she decorates cakes! It’s so cool! She’s really good.

@thatonedollar : Siya, (yours will come later) Talk about heaven on earth, you’re such a caring angel and you have been there for me through some of my worst moments this year I love you so much.

Okay, so happy New Year! Y’all have made this one to remember if I forgot anyone I am so sorry, I lost a few brain cells doing this but just know that I love you to infinity plus one(also for people who got joke ones -its pretty easy to tell- I’m making you an actual one lol) and for anyone who would just like a random playlist these are some of my faves.

Please ignore typos I haven’t slept since Thursday (if that) love y’all.

#my friends #god im gonan feel awful if i dorgot anyone

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dewitty1 · 6 years

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Pass The Happy ask Pass the Happy - Spread Positivity - Pass the happy! 💐When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications-

OMFG, I had this all written out and ready to post, and my dumb fucking ass closed the tab. Jeebus fucking Harlod Roosevelt Cripes. I literally can’t even with myself right now. Ugh. Ok. whatever. Time to get Happy! Cue the Partridge Family music, lol

Okay so sorry, this will get a little personal, as depression kicks my ass a bit.And the dude, @super-ultra-mega-kami-guru is gone for the summer to his dad’s (until Aug 18th). Now, being a teenage boy, he sucks at communication, and it’s been a bit since we’ve actually spoken. This just kills a mother. Anyway, I’m gritting my teeth, and just taking one day at a time. Luckily business is busy AF right now, so I have to stress about that instead, Social media is what gets me through my day too. Facebook is where my close friends and family are (except for my parents, who are here in this small AF town, which is both good and bad, lol). And I’m glad I have y’all here too.

So I guess that will be number 1. Pocket Friends. Or Mutuals. Or whatever you want to call yourself in relation to me, lol. Seriously though. I love seeing your names pop up in my notifications. And when you comment or reblog, that’s even better. Even if we don’t talk, I heart you!

2. Movies. I dig going to the movies by myself, or with the dude. Idk about with other people, lol. I have to really know you well to go with you. And I enjoy watching my favorites over and over. Like 80′s RomComs! Yasssss! Ones that I know all the words to also, like Wayne’s World, lol.

3. Music. Most of the time it helps the depression go. Unless it’s “When We Were Young” by Adele. OMG that song kills me every time!.And for some reason I found myself Blubbering to “Castle On The Hil” by Ed Sheeran. Like WTAF, lol?!?! IDEK. I’m gonna blame it on missing the UK, lol.

4. Books/Fanfic. Reading is a forever happy place for me. Ever since I learned thanks to Dr. Seuss's ABC book. Still got that on memorized too, pretty much, lol. Books were my best friends growing up when it felt like we moved a million times. then they were my escape from my alcoholic parents. Now, it’s just my escape from depression, and a boring life.

5. My kid, forever my joy. @super-ultra-mega-kami-guru The best thing I’ve ever created. I will never create anything more magnificent than that boy. Yes, he can be a pain in my ass, but he’s still awesome. And that goes for my other kiddo too, @rose-grangerweasleyisbae. Even though she’s only my Tumblr daughter, I don’t think I could love her much less than if she was my own girl. I hope I get to go to the Netherlands to meet her someday. As It says up there in my description, if any of you want a Mom, I’m here. I may not be the best, but I’m here for you.The dude turned out pretty well, so, you know. And, basically, most of you are young enough to be kiddos to me so, there’s that, lol.

Okay, since I had 3 asks, I guess I have to tag 30, right?

@kick-it-in-the-ass-cas @mrsfelfoy @dracohasmycat @rmh8402 @polly-weasley @leafandluke @magickfluffy @lettersbyelise @julcheninred @her-june @somewhat-honest-abe @supernovaodessa @scarheaded-ferret @kikibluemay @teefs-art @ahufflepuffnamedrose @godblessdrarry @meshkol @idunn22 @sailorslash @inthatmoment-i-was-real @thedrarryaddiction @restlessandordinary @offical-potato @must-love-drarry @Jasmine-tw @i-am-a-healer @girpandafriend @antique-moonglade @snuffles-groovy-doghouse

#asks #answered #pass the happy #depression #carey rambles #personal #taggy thing

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nctexto · 6 years

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questions and things

Okay so I have a few things to saw/questions to ask/other things so they’ll be under a read more (umm I think ‘read more’ is kind of broken on mobile at least for the initial post so I’m sorry if you don’t see it). Also will be broken into sections so you can read what you want or whatever! (also note if you don’t feel like reading any of this, nothing is ‘bad news’ or anything. so don’t worry. just some thoughts I have on things and two questions)

1. tumblr being weird Okay so tumblr is a bit more broken than usual lately (if you haven’t noticed). I think it is a little better recently though. Notifications weren’t showing up and apparently asks are being eaten more than usual, so if you ever send me something and i don’t respond in like a day (unless it’s a request because I keep those until I make them), tumblr probably ate the ask :/ Not that I ever get that many, but still just letting you all know. Which kind of from this I’ve seen a lot of people I follow reblogging posts about how fans should reblog fics and art and stuff more. So I guess I want to say that like.. I’m not going to ask you guys to reblog stuff or what not. I feel weird like... seeking that out? Plus honestly if people want to they will. But like honestly I do my stuff for myself. I started this because I like to read this stuff and I wanted to make things too with my own ideas and what not. I do agree though that like... having some recognition is nice? For example, I have some stuff with over like 150 notes, which for me is a lot. That’s fun and I’m so thankful to everyone who took the time to read and like it. But you know what I love more? A comment someone left on a reblog of something. They said it was well written and like?? gosh that thing had like 10 notes for FOREVER but that was literally my favorite thing ever. That’s basically all the person said but I go and read it occasionally because it was the first time someone like... left a comment or whatever and it made me feel so good? ANYWAY, I don’t really know where I’m going with that. I guess just like, if you do like stuff maybe let people know? Just in general. I know I try to. I have a blog where I just reblog fics to I love and I make sure to always leave nice tags for them because I know how it feels like to read those? Actually I made a really good friend of mine because I reblogged her fic and said it was one of my favorites (which it still is) and that I loved it. And she messaged me and thanked me for that and now we talk all the time and she’s a dear friend to me. Again, not sure where I’m going with this hahaha. I talked way more about this than what I wanted. Whoops.

2. milestone So uhh, I’m going to be hitting 1000 followers like... very very soon. As in I’m 6 away. Which first off BLOWS MY MIND? I literally just do this because it’s fun and like... you all decided you liked it too so uh? Thanks. But more on that when it happens. What I would like to talk about it how to like, thank you all for it? I kind of have two ideas. Idea one is reblogging one of those prompt posts and then doing one of those. I would probably actually write them instead of doing texts, since the svt au will have written parts and I want to practice again I guess? The other idea I had was similar, but essentially you would send me a person and then something else. Be it a word or whatever and I would write a drabble based on it? Again I kind of want to practice writing drabbles since the svt au will have some. Do one of those sound fun? Or really just if anyone has a suggestion, I’m all ears. I’d love to do something special for this but... I have no idea what to do... hahaha.

3. svt au yeah uhh. That’s going to happen. I still haven’t completely planned the first person’s entirely, but hopefully I will finish it today and get the first part out today? Perhaps? I’ve been kind of busy so I haven’t been able to work on it as much as I want. Plus this week is vbs at my church and I have a class of 16 three, four, and five year olds so uh... they’re exhausting hahah. Today they decided to color on me with chalk :)) Plus I’m a personal jungle gym for a few of them hahaha. It’s fun though, so don’t worry. I love working with them all. It’s just tiring and I don’t have the energy to do anything afterwards hahha. BUT I will be doing the series, please don’t worry <3 I might have jumped in a bit early with it but it’s fine hahah.

4. about my blog Really not sure how to ask what I mean haha. Is my blog okay? Like, is everything accessible. Are things easy to find? Is my masterlist set up decently? I have no idea? Like I know for me it’s nice and organized but like? is it like that in general? Is my ‘rules’ thing okay? Like are there other things people want to know or other info that I should have posted somewhere. I guess I’m just worried things look awful or something and I don’t know. Or things are confusing? I guess just if there are any suggestions you have to make my blog nicer or something, that would be cool. Should I rearrange things or do you want like an about thing of myself (lol does anyone care?) or ??? I don’t know??

anyway okay this is my brain thoughts at the moment so yes. okay bye

#sorry this is a mess #we all know how I love my tangents :))))#uhhhh i think these are the things on my mind #but for realzies im blown away that ill be hitting 1k like???? what in the world are you guys doing here??????????#anyway completely random - pentagon update #so uhhh pgt anon if you see this i think shinwon is uh... possibly my bias i cant confirm yet but... i .... like... him a lot.....#also yeo one too so you kind of got it right #we'll see though i havent gotten to watch a whole lot recently been busy #but yes they are goofs oaifbo4wesd #oh also i've basically got all the members down like i can recognize them all the time basically so yeah #okay yeah I don't know anything more to say so I'm just going to post this and yeah #the follower special is the most important because i want to do something special for you guys????????? but I don't know what??????????#talks

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eloarei · 6 years

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As copy-pasted from that one BNHA ask meme: ALL my answers, since @oldseablues suggested I do that. Under a cut because it’s long.

BNHA Ask Meme™ Reblog this if you want your followers to send you one of these:

~ B A S I C S ~

1: What part of the anime/manga piqued your interest? Like, what did I see that made me want to watch it? TBH I don't know! I guess it was All Might lol. I just saw that a bunch of people on my dashboard were talking about it and about him and I was like "Okay, I'll watch it." (A few people IRL had reccommended it to me before but I was like 'eh'.)

2: Did you think Midoriya would be a good protagonist in the first few chapters/episodes? Answered before. I think the gist of it was that I thought he was gonna be fine, I just didn't know if the story was gonna be any good.

3: How do you think Midoriya’s conflict with Bakugou will end? Honestly I think it'll turn out fine. I mean, I think that they'll repair their friendship (if you can even call it that). I think Izuku has to stop focusing on Bakugou and Bakugo has to start respecting Izuku. I think it'll happen just fine as they grow into themselves. I would be surprised if they didn't repair their relationship, just based on common shounen tropes.

4: What was your first reaction to Bakugou’s treatment towards Midoriya? First reaction? Hmm, let me see if I can remember. I guess I didn't think about it much because I wasn't sure he was going to be an important character. But when I realized he was... I guess I was just surprised that Izuku put up with it all that time. Of course it could be because of his lack of confidence, but I guess I see it more as him having faith in Kacchan actually being worth maintaining a friendship with, despite the bullying? He's too sweet for his own good ^^;;

5: What do you think of All-Might as a hero? Pfft, well he's great, obviously! Isn't that like... the one thing you're supposed to know when you start the series? "The sky is blue. All Might is great." He's a good guy. He does what he can and he does it well.

6: Do you think that Midoriya deserved to get OFA? Of course. He's clever and determined and passionate and kind. Who else would have been that appropriate?

7: Aside from Midoriya, which character in the series do you think has had the most character development? I'm gonna SKIP this one, since I'm still only a lowly Season 2 graduate. I haven't seen enough change in any of the characters to say.

8: Favorite unpopular character? Honestly? Mineta. I know everyone hates him, but I like him for the same reasons. Yes, he's dumb and sleazy, but I think he acts as a sort of balance, and it's good to have a character that occupies peoples' soft-hatred but isn't a villain. Not every 'good guy' is unproblematic, and I think he has the greatest capacity for growth because he's starting so low on the likeability chart. XD

9: Favorite overall character? I mean, that's an easy tie between Izuku and All Might. Obviously. If I had to pick someone else though... Tsuyu. She's precious. Or Ochaco. She's also precious. Or Iida, who is (surprise) also damn precious.

10: Do you have any OC’s? Describe them! If you don’t, create one on the spot. Create one? Yeesh. Uh. Okay, I'll port some original OCs over. Addisson: chivalrous lesbian hero, dresses like a knight. She conjures 'light-weapony' (or other items; made of light/air/whatever, they function as intended until she lets go of them. Only for melee weapons though, not projectiles unfortunately.)

~ S H I P S ~

Pink: What are your main/favorite ships? As surprises nobody: Dekumight, for sure. But side ships? Erasermic, and anything involving Ochaco. (Roughly in order: Ocha/Iida, Ocha/Bakugo, Ocha/anyone else. Oh! Never seen it before, but how about Ochaco/Gunhead?!)

Blue: Do you have any NOTPs? By principal, no. I don't do NOTPs. But if you're asking which ships I just don't really like or don't really get, the winner would have to be TodoDeku. It's very popular? but it just doesn't pique my interest at all.

Yellow: Favorite fanfiction about your OTP? Ooh man, it's only on chapter 2 ATM but @thenightisdarkandfullofbooty’s "Fettered" is really really great so far! Other than that, I don't generally recc explicit fics, but Motte-Gwappo and Jabor pretty well cornered the market with good E-rated oneshots.

Green: Any preferred rarepairs? Ahah yeah, I main a rarepair. And from what I understand, pretty much everything that doesn't include Todoroki or Bakugou is a rarepair, so... uh huh.

Purple: Do you have any works centered around your OTP? HELL YEAH. Anyone who's reading this probably knows. I've got 11 posted Dekumight fics so far, and *counts* 4? WIPs? and... uh... roughly 30+ more ideas? *sweats*

Orange: Fluff or Angst? Good lord I love both, but if you're gonna angst me, PLEASE give me a happy ending.

Red: What do you like the most about your favorite ship? Aaaaaaahhh gosh. Everything. *sighs dreamily* Did you see me the other day, comparing them to freaking Christian worship music? Gawd. They have SUCH a great dynamic, and it's one that has a lot of potential for shifting in various ways too. I guess what I really love most about them is how genuinely devoted to each other they are. Shipped or not, they really love each other! It's so wonderful. =]

Turqoise: What do you hate about your favorite ship? Alright now this is silly question. Why have an OTP if you don't just adore every fiber of their being? In the case of Dekumight, despite what I think a lot of other people would think, I don't even hate the things that make it a controversial pairing. I don't hate that Izuku is underage, and that there's a fairly massive age gap between them, and that there's a 'power imbalance' between them, because that all adds to their dynamic. It makes them very interesting. I don't wish that Izuku was older. I mean, I've written that fic, and I think they're still interesting together, but honestly, the fact that they at least met when Izuku was young is pretty important to their dynamic and-- *goes on forever and ever* ADDENDUM: One thing I do hate is that the majority of the fandom can't (or isn't interested in even trying to) see how goshdarn much sense the ship makes.

Lavender: Does your ship get a lot of hate? If so, why? Hahahaha yes. I don't pay a lot of attention to the fandom at large, but I'm fairly certain it's the most hated ship in the fandom? And it's the only ship I've ever gotten hate over! (Wonderful. Wish I'd get more. It'd be a good outlet for my blabbering haha) I understand /why/ it gets hate though. It's underage. It's frequently read as a father-son relationship. Oh, and it interferes with other popular ships, of course.

Grey: Realistically speaking, will your ship ever become canon? I guess there's a remote chance. Like, top of Mt. Everest remote. haha wouldn't that just fuck with people. Naw, look, I'm fully accepting of the fact that there are at least 5 other drastically-more-likely options, which are, in approximate order of likeliness: 1. Izuku/Ochaco, 2. Izuku/nobody, 3.Izuku/another girl, 4.Izuku/Bakugou, 5.Izuku/another guy. I give Dekumight a .01% chance haha and I think that's a liberal estimate. XD; BUT! I would be more than happy for there to be at least a throwaway line somewhere about Izuku having (or having had) a crush on All Might at some point, and I give that a very generous 5% chance of happening haha.

~ T H E O R I E S ~

Pop: Do you think the “Dabi and Shouto are brothers” theory is true? Don't know who the hell Dabi is.

Indie: Opinions on the Traitor Kaminari theory? Never heard it. Sounds implausible.

Punk: Opinions on the Traitor Kirishima theory? Never heard it. Don't like it.

Rock: What do you think of the “The doctor from Midoriya’s childhood is affiliated with the League Of Villains” theory? (in reference to this post) I mean... sure?? I didn't read the post, but I have no strong opinions on theories.

Jazz: What do you think will happen now that Eri has been saved? Honestly, I only know Eri through fanfic, so I'm gonna say, "No clue, my dude."

~ S T U D E N T S ~

11: Dekusquad or Bakusquad? Porque no los dos? But Dekusquad.

12: Most underrated student? Hagakure. That's the invisible girl, right? That's quite a power!

13: Dadmight or Dadzawa? Porque no los dos? But my ship dictates I vote Dadzawa. Honestly though, they could both BE dads; there's no one way to be a dad. All Might makes me think a little more of an uncle. Aizawa strikes me as more dad-like from my own experience, but they're both supportive in their different ways. I know, let's be contrarian and say "DadMic" =P HE'S the one that reminds me of several of my allo-dads.

14: Whose quirk do you think is the most unique? I think I said Tokoyami when I answered this before. I can't think of a better answer right now, so let's just go with that again.

15: Aside from Midoriya, who do you think has the most potential to be #1 Hero? I guess Todoroki.

16: Should Mineta be replaced by Shinsou in the hero class? Porque no los dos? If you get rid of Mineta, there's gotta be someone else for everyone to hate. Just shove another desk in there and have them both. Make them share, I dunno.

17: Favorite student(s) outside of Class 1-A? Hatsume Mei!

18: Any HCs for the entirety of Class 1-A? Headcanons for the whole class? Is that a thing? I guess I HC that they all genuinely love Izuku and are encouraged by his attitude. =]

19: Do you remember their seating arrangement by heart? lol heck no. I think I have an idea of where a few of the characters sit? But honestly, I blasted through the series once and haven't looked back on it yet, so I haven't had time for memorization.

20: Which of the students do you think has the most potential to become a villain? Gosh. Any of them could. I mean, being a villain instead of a hero is so based on circumstance. If things go wrong, any of them could go that way.

~ V I L L A I N S ~

Techno: Favorite villain? Stain. Not interested in any of the others just yet.

Classical: Eight Precepts of Death or League of Villains? what.

Metal: Which villain’s quirk would you want for yourself? I don't?

Soul: Shigaraki or Chisaki? Who?

Alternative: Most obnoxious villain? Shigaraki.

~ M I S C ~

Apple: Favorite popular HC? I haven't the slightest clue what's popular, but I'll reiterate my own personal headcanon: Izuku has or has had a huge pre-teen crush on All Might.

Strawberry: Who is your favorite pro-hero? Uh... Hmm.... Predictable answer: All Might. Less predictable answer: Best Jeanist, because his fucking outfit drives me nuts and I hate it so much I like it.

Banana: Which of the pro-heroes’ quirks fascinates you the most? Eh. I dunno. I guess I'm not really 'fascinated' by anyone's abilities. ^^; I just like them as whole characters.

Cherry: Should Endeavor die like right now Nah. He's important, even if we hate him. In fact, that might be part of why he's important. You can't love every 'protagonist'.

Pear: What was your reaction to Todoroki’s backstory? I... didn't have a strong reaction. I'm not a huge fan of Todoroki to begin with. I mean, I felt bad for him, of course, but I guess I wasn't surprised or anything, so it was like, "oh. huh. poor kid." I'm more interested in what happens next.

Kiwi: Should the BNHA girls get more spotlight/recognition? Of course! They're all great.

Pineapple: What do you like the most about BNHA, as a whole? Well, I guess what I like is the characters! That pretty usual, for any story I get involved in. But of course I love superheroes, so there's that! But I do also like the feeling of the whole story, how it's inspirational but also with a looming bleakness, you know?

Watermelon: Dub or Sub? Sub sub sub all the way. Gotta watch it in its original form, whatever that is. I LOVE their original Japanese voices. I accidentally heard a tiny snippet of it in English and I regret it haha.

Coconut: How do you think Hokiroshi is doing, in terms of the plot? Well I'm not caught up so it's a bit hard for me to say, but I think it's going well so far. I'm still interested.

Blueberry: What makes BNHA unique from all the other shonen animes/mangas out there? I'm not sure. I think it's in the small details. I mean, I'm not sure it really IS unique from other anime, any more than they're all unique from each other. TBH I feel like it actually take quite a few elements from other popular series and puts them together in an effective way.

...and that's the end!

#elo talks #bnha #ask meme

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lordgeales · 7 years

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One entire year at Tumblr :D

DEAL WITH IT

An entire year at Tumblr running a rp blog for a vampire that we now know.. A tiny bit about. Instead of just a whole lot of nothing. When I think about it, I don’t think that much has changed, but looking back... It has. Back when I started up, I honestly had no idea how the customs of tumblr RPs worked. I didn’t know about rules, formatting posts, icons... Honestly NOTHING at all. I’m still amazed that no one yelled at me.

I think I caught on pretty quickly tho, four months later, I made this blog. Changing from a sideblog, to a main. And boy, that changed a lot. With that came the new icons(why did I decide to go all out with them... Whhyyy), promos, rules, a design(that is very old holy-), and everything a RP’er should have. At least according to tumblr.

Although I have to say that I still felt a bit alone being on tumblr. I never really got to speak to people OOC, and the ones I reached out to.. Oboi (((: Let’s forget about that. It gradually became better. In May I met what I’d call my first “tumblr friend”. Who unfortunately isn’t very active RP-wise anymore.

December was wild compared to the rest of my time. Starting with a meme that led to me getting to talk with Lily(@elyon-kurae), not to mention the dear Vero(@monophagia) joining in on the RP :D! That has led to yet another chain event, and I’m very much involved in the RP community now. I think I finally understand what it’s all about.

And although I’ve been through a lot, weeks of inactivity, spikes of activity and shitposting, tons of asks, lack of asks.. Hm, well, we’re still here. I still have the pleasure of talking to most of the people I did back in the days, and a lot of new to call friends.

The people I’ve been interacting with through the time under the cut. Read at own risk it’s very... Long.

People listed in the correct order they appeared at my blog c;

@lestkarrkingofeurope: Starting out with a strange RP on a drawing I won(reblogged just before this post~). I have no idea what we were doing, but it was a lot of fun! Also the reason I even stumbled into this community to begin with. Lately I’ve had the pleasure of being... blessed a lot. Save me from my sins, oh holy tsunami.

@forgottenprogenitor: I think you came along with Lest, with your former muse, Akane. I adored that RP, giving me a chance to show some of Urds more gentle sides. Akihiko was the absolute breakthrough though, I adore him. I love our interactions, and look forwards to yet another year!

@tatsu-rose-bathory: YOU CAME WITH A FLOWECROWN! I remember that much :D! It took a few weeks before we eventually interacted, but I was pretty much in love with Tatsu from the start(still very much am). I really enjoy reading about her, not to mention their occasional small talk they do nowadays. It’s so nice having someone around that Urd actually looks at with gentle eyes ;-;

@makotonarumi/@dusksovereign: Unfortunately no longer active, but just for the sake of people reading it - Holy fUCK?! When you first reached out to me I was soooo confused. Still am. You are/were an amazing writer, and honestly I felt so bad whenever I wrote replies, because.. Ah, I didn’t feel worthy at all. You were extremely nice to me, however, sending me all kinds of anon-love, tagging me in memes... Ahh. Thank you so much. I don’t think you know how much it meant to me. Just. Thank you. And I’m sorry for being such a slob with the replies.

@ferid-trash-bathory/@shusaku: Turns out you’ve been around forever. Through it all. Wow. Sometimes I do wonder just how bad of an impression i left back then *lol*. Ah, I remember us talking every now and then, it’s just lately I’ve come to know you for “real”. I really like your portrayal of “Fred”, not to mention Shusaku.... Who I might have been a bit mean to back then.... *coughs* Aha, but I’ve been sure that you were nice for a very long time. Still very happy that I reached out to you about the Egypt AU. Although Vero was dying in the background. Best meme lord. Also someone I can always trust to help Urd get revenge on Saito. Gotta get back at that ass amirite.

@mrsaitou: “My first real Tumblr friend” ahh. I really miss having you around. We talked a lot about... I don’t even know. But we talked a lot. I can’t even remember if it started in May, where the first meme with you were tagged, or if we started talking later on. I think I have your personal somewhere... Might dig that out sometimes soon to hear what you’re up to.

krultepxs: Deactivated, unfortunately... A Krul I had tons of fun with, planning all kind of strange stuff. Urd keeping Krul a prisoner after her treason in the Kremlin. An AU where they had to marry. Unfortunately we never got to RP, or plan that much due to me going hiatus for a few weeks.

@lvstforblood: OKAY WE BONDED OVER A MEME... And then never talked again. Rip. But if you ever feel like rp’ing, you know where to find me. Winks at.

@asurayuucentral/@perfectasura: I can’t even remember when you started coming around tbh, but we haven’t interacted that much. Still I feel like you’re kinda my friend, and I love to see your little likes and crack reblogs ;-;! Also I’d love to rp with you some more whenever!

@erisblonde: Wonder if you’re still around and into the fandom? We’ve theorized a lot about Urd ahh... Unfortunately it kinda died out - probably due to me going inactive. I tend to do that a lot, huh... Just know, that if you feel like talking theories, hit me up. Anytime. Anyday.

@riddlemehiss/@dil-a-to-ry: WOOP! MY FAVORITE CAT! Okay I was kinda skeptic when The Cheshire cat waltzed into my askbox. But surprisingly I really enjoy his interactions with Urd. You play him amazingly, like holy shit. I’ve enjoyed every single second. Also you’re a really nice person, I think I still see you around every now and then, although Cheshire is on Hiatus. But if you ever feel like reviving him... You can count on Urd to be confused by his lack of respect for gravity :P!

@masterofzawarudo: Can I just say that I love everything about Dio. Although Urd doesn’t. In fact he’s probably annoyed by every single fiber of his being. Sorry for not reaching out to you more often, you’re seriously awesome. Although I find it kinda hard to connect on the strength-level, since our muses come from such different verses. BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON’T FIGHT I’M UP FOR ANYTHING. COME FIGHT ME! YA! wait, don’t do that. Fuck. Also I don’t follow you because I don’t watch Jojo, and you post so much stuff about that rip, still love your blog tho

@kruliisms: Hmmm... Here’s where I’m in doubt. I never wrote it down anywhere, but are you perhaps Krultepxs? Ah, I don’t know. What I know for sure, is that we never really got back to RP’ing, and that you’ve gone inactive yet again. But just to let you know, if you ever feel like doing something with Urd - you’re more than welcome to hit me up :)!

@krullish: Hmm... I think we planned something a while back, but never got around to do it? But anyway, if you feel like RPing with the... shitty russian vampire lord, well... Here I am. Still around c;!

@repulsc: EEEYYYYYYY CASCADA AND LATE NIGHT SHIT POSTING! That my jam. Also chain kinks. I did not say that. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything aside from shitposting and endless icon threads of stare-battles. Always up for more. Or smth serious, whatever you feel like. Winks very hard at.

@brassboundvalkyrie: I think I first noticed you for real when you commented on a picture of me(the mun), however I never really got around to talk to you. Unfortunately our muses are not very compatible orz! BUT HEY! Suddenly you were there, yelling to me about Vero, and whelp... I accidentally joined. Whops. You’re a real nice person, and I looove your Horn. Hope she’ll find a Crowley soon. Until then, I’ll suffer in silence with you. Looking forwards to meeting you c;! Just... No straw, and no masks, k?

@wintersoldier-barnes: Wiggles eyebrows Please send me more Urd. Send me all the Urd. I love the Urd. Gimme the Urd. Urd drug buddy. Also yet another sinner of the SaiUrd squad. Feel free to send me (n)Urds at any times, or just anything in general. You’re amazing to talk to, so~! Also you’re a really pretty Urd holy shit

@rk-silverknight: You just fit in here for some strange reason, because Noblesse yass! We’ve never interacted ic, but you’re still a really nice person! I hope we’ll get to talk some more sometimes in the future. Or perhaps break the bundaries between our muses worlds... Who knows. Perhaps they could actually get along.... Or just have a silent starring contest.

@elyon-kurae: I can’t even... How did we go from relationship meme to... Talking about high and low? You are an adorable person, and.. So sorry for ruining your innocence orz! BUT EYY SAIURD BUDDY~! Also corner buddy, Tumblr sis, and everything really. I like you tons <3

@rigr-stafford: It’s really nice to have you around! I know we haven’t talked much ooc, but just stretching a leggi out and saying EY I LIKE YOU TOO! Looking forwards to our future interactions!

@borntobeafangirlxd: I think it’s really cute how you manage to like my posts all the time. Aaahhh, you probably have no idea how much it means to me! I’m so happy you like my portrayal,

@monophagia: How the fuck did the tag “Another traitor has joined the game~” END UP IN A THREAD WITH MIKU, A TV BEING IMPALED BY A SPOON, AND MAKEOUT ON THE BLOODY FLOOR?! KJLaslfhalskfd. I cannot. Even. Just... Lol. Also you liking that Saito-rp-partner ask, and actually making a blog for him is probably the best thing that happened in my whole Tumblr history. You almost deserve a whole post by itself, so I’ll just stop before it gets too long lol. I love u bby, and I fucking adore your Saito. Be it angsty human Saito who gets way too dramatic whenever Urd ignores him, the priest who adores his pharaoh way too much, or the canon-vampire with his weird pudding obsession. You’re a joy to write with, and honestly I’m amazed we’re still keeping it up. I’M SO HAPPY YOU REACHED OUT TO ME?! OK SEE U IN LIKE... SOON. Don’t kidnap me for too long when I come to Germany tho. I cannot German.

@playfulprogenitor: For some reason I can’t tag you? BUT just want to let you know, that you’re free to swing by anytime! It was really fun seeing you join in on the shitposting!

@lacus-owns-you: We actually interacted through your OC @louischerel long before I even knew that it was you on that Lacus account. HELLO MOMMY! You’re a joy to talk to, and although we rarely RP, I still enjoy haning out with you ooc <3!

@hiiragi-yukine: Aaah you seem so nice! Although we haven’t really spoken outside the RPs, I really enjoy your OC. Also Yukine as faceclaim doesn’t make it any worse noragamiftwamirite.

@ALL THE PEOPLE I PROBABLY FORGOT

Thank you so much for following me! And I’m so sorry if I forgot you, I had to go through a lot of posts, so I probably did orz.

@ALL MY ANONS

I LOVE YOU TONS THANKS FOR ALL THE ASKS THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT

AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING URDS BUTT I know it’s amazing

He secretly loves you too

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alivingfire · 7 years

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Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2016

i’m gonna try and do this thing! i was tagged by @a-writerwrites, @mediawhorefics, @afirethatcannotdie and @churchrat.

1. List of works published this year:

Hiding Place (technically, last chapter and epilogue posted in january) Inconceivable Anonymous Said Oh Glory Been Together Since Way Back When Tumblr fics series (6 total) Day 1: So It Begins (from the 30 days of smut) True Love’s Gold Play the Odds

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i mean. here’s the deal. hiding place is like... my everest. it’s my starry night. i put so much of myself into that damn thing, and the process of it 100% changed me, my writing style, how i view the fandom as well as the band. it will be my best accomplishment (even though there are definitely things i would go back now and change in it) until the next time i write a 365,000 word ode to two boys in love.

but, also, researching and writing oh glory in four days was also pretty cool.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

hmm. maybe my chapter for the 30 days of smut, just because i feel like i could’ve been more adventurous with it. i felt like -- just based on my own personal thoughts -- i sort of had a duty? as the first author to lay as much groundwork as possible for the why, and that ended up taking away from the actual sex of it all.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

this was actually really tough, and i just spent a good hour and a half digging for some quotes that aren’t stop-on-your-heart depressing that stuck with me after i wrote them. so here, from my least angsty fic -

This is where Harry should be kissing someone he’s only known for a couple of hours, someone pretty with a bright smile who makes his stomach flip when their fingers touch. It could be something new too, maybe if the kiss was good Harry would ask for a date, or a phone number; maybe if the kiss wasn’t that memorable they’d stay friends. Either way, a memory made, a New Year celebrated, a firework of lips and smiles fizzing between him and someone bright, sparkling, new.

Instead, he’s kissing Louis.

Not that Louis doesn’t sparkle; Louis shines, Louis is what the moon gets its light from when the sun doesn’t want to do its job. Louis melts the frost off the world, Louis is the burnished gold of old London and the shiny silver of chrome and glass.

And it’s not that Louis isn’t new, because Louis is ever-changing; Louis is the pattern of the stars in the sky night after night, Louis is tie-dyed freedom, reckless waves against a shore, no beat of the drum the same.

It’s just that this kiss is something new but something old, too. It’s twelve years of friendship with a new sharp edge. It’s a glass mirror broken into new shapes, a mosaic of what was and what is and what will continue to change.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

okay i was looking forward to answering this part. one of my favorite people of all time, kyla @greenadidasjumper, went through and basically live-commented her thoughts on every single chapter of hiding place, usually spanning multiple comments because they were so long. i tried for a while to go through and answer her questions and reply to what she said, but i ended up just reading them over and over and forgetting to answer so now they’re just there in my inbox for whenever i’m sad 💕💕

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

i always have a tough time jumping into something new after i’ve wrapped up a project, and i think the hardest one for me was after been together since way back when. for some reason (maybe because it hit so close to home), that was the hardest fic for me to move on from, and it took a good month or so for me to even be interested in trying anything new.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

most of hiding place, lol. i would start a scene with no clear path and it would usually end up a lot angstier than i’d originally intended. i was also pretty surprised by how much i put into the OCs for been together, they were a lot of fun to write.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

well, that’s a good question, lol. i definitely think i’ve found my ~voice, so to speak, and i’m honing in on how i want to write as opposed to what i think others want from me. i’ve also discovered this year that the stuff of mine people tend to like the most are the things i speed-write, which is fascinating because those are the pieces i usually end up doubting the most; either way, i’ve definitely gotten better at churning out 20-30k in a week or so.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i’m still trying to strike that balance between narrative voice and character voice, so that’s a big thing for me (especially since my next big project will rely a lot on changing POVs).

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

ooh, well. i’m forever inspired by other authors, and anytime i find a fic that catches my attention it’s like lighting a fire, so whoknows, dolce, zarah (😞), claire, addy and lexy, @a-writerwrites, @lululawrence, cherrystreet, j, @mediawhorefics, @waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee, ellie, @thedarkestlarrie, @banana-louis, @loveloveolivia, @churchrat, @lucystarkid, @juliusschmidt, - i could go on for days, you’re all huge inspirations and i sorta love you all to bits, even if it’s from afar sometimes. also @ravenclawisak was a massive massive help during the final sprint of hiding place, and in fact you can blame her for some of the more Extreme Angst in the final chapters.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

it’s actually really funny, looking back, how many fandom interests leaked into the stuff i was writing when it was being discussed -- like when a new famous friend is introduced to the fandom or an old theory or famous story is brought up and discussed. like, for instance, true love’s gold would’ve been massively different if it hadn’t been for harry’s another man shoot.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

reach out to other writers. honestly, i love having a network of authors i can go to with any questions about writing or formatting or even plotting out new projects and throwing headcanons around. authors are also the biggest allies you could ask for when it comes to hyping up your stories; get you someone who’ll reblog your fic post everyday because they’re so proud of you (but you have to do the same for them!! be a good bro).

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

the angel and demon au is going to be a doozy, so that’s one for sure. once that’s finished, though, i have my sights set on basically a whole list of things that’ve been in the back of my mind for months. ALSO idk if j @paynner is ready to go public with this but let me tell you people we have Planned Some Things and it might take us years to do it but when we do it’ll rock some worlds. 😇

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

j have you done this??? you totally should so @paynner... and i’ll add my two coffee girls @coffeelouis and @coffeehazza 😘

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)

#this is a lot #i also tagged a lot of people so sorry about that #also i was going through the list of people i follow earlier #weeding out some inactive blogs and ones that i had muted because i don't care about those fandoms anymore #and i found zarah's blog and even though it said 'last updated one year ago' i couldn't unfollow :(#i still hold out hope... someday... she'll be back #(oak ridge boys voice) i'll gooo to my graave loving youuu #fic talk #writing things

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