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#also have some issues with some things being called drama…
tianshiisdead · 2 months
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im happy my post is garnering discussion but honestly i wasnt around for 2018-2021 fandom on tumblr and i was mainly talking about how its kind of silly to get mad at people for portraying colonizer countries as mean, or calling it demonization and stuff. like its okay not to like personally portraying ur fav characters as mean or part of the state, but getting irritated at the fact that it exists or is popular imo kind of misses the fact that this… is the state and nation personification fandom. and its hard to say its not canon when canon did once portray the characters in uniform and at times involved in their state activities… like the early strips discussing western imperialism in china is literally ‘china being bullied by the allies’ ‘france wanting to grope china’ ‘china being treated like a maid’ etc etc like they were very much. the state LOL also china and japan’s canon relationship, as much as I have my issues with it, has an entire thing about china being stabbed by japan… i do feel like hetalia started out as a history nerd’s history exploration that blended humour with ‘what i find cute’ with satire etc etc, which inevitably involves illustrating the personifications as vessels of state and culture, and although the modern strips have deviated quite a bit… well, different people will approach this series for different reasons, right? Whether its serious or comedic content showing the characters as mean or imperialist or unpleasant, it’s not something that deviates too far from canon (if we take all canon eras into consideration) nor is it surprising given how history laden the topic is.
#diary#hetalia#hater tag#also have some issues with some things being called drama…#like i know some of u think of me and some others as drama stirring little devils#honestly i dont enjoy drama that much but ill become upset when i see things that i see as racist or insensitive…#because im of the opinion that this fandom requires extra sensitivity given the subject matter.#let people have fun#but#also be careful yk? i guess for me personally im always trying to be careful#when im out of my depth i try to talk to ppl with better understanding while doing my own research#and if ive written or expressed antyhing bad (which i certainly have even on this blog many times before)#i try to change my stances with new info… and like#this is important to me and its important for me to read ppls thoughts bc.#i know what its like to be treated racistly and dismissed. or to have things and history precious to me twisted#but anyways rambling aside… i guess what i want to say is i understand it seems annoying but#if you post something insensitive… and someone gets upset… then thats just how it is. hetalia is sensitive#again ive definitely posted bad insensitive things. ive been told im acting out of line.#and it sucks. but… sometimes you have to understand ur own irritation doesnt outweigh the hurt#and listen a little#sometimes i like things that i then find are insensitive or cruel. and id rather not engage with it than dismiss peoples hurt… or something#honestly i keep most of my whining private i promise JLKFHDJGLKFH BC FOR THE MOST PART I THINK I CAN TELL THE DIFF BETWEEN#when i have a real issue and when im just nitpicking#so i keep my more petty whining or basic stuff private#but if i see something egregious then i dont want to be quiet#and if a friend of mine (esp if theyre a kid) is upset or hurt by racism I dont want to be quiet
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foreverppl · 1 year
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Moodboard for Amais Rena (he/they), lead singer of alt rock band Way Way Downers @infamous-if
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#catch them being like ‘what happened to the MUSIC???’ every time some reality tv show drama goes down lmfao#having them be a homewrecker by romancing mrs. valentine so we’ll see how that goes#but also after playing the demo i’ve fallen down the seven rabbit hole and i CANNOT get out omg#anyway personality facts ig:#they toe the line between confident and arrogant but ONLY when it comes the music#like he’d never call himself the best but they know that they’re a good singer and the band makes good music#so they don’t usually care to listen to criticisms that say otherwise#can be a little intense and takes things way too seriously somtimes#loves their bandmates to death so he was def put off a little by g in that one convo#is OBSESSED with doing the pop punk voice/accent much to the dismay of everyone around them. they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever#still feels really guilty abt what went down w seven so is just sorta… taking whatever they dish atp#okay at social interactions just veers more on the detatched polite side of things in interviews/w fans and other ppl they don’t know#which is veryy different from how they are on stage.#on stage they fully embody the music and let themselves do whatever feels right. no inhibitions. a complete release.#lover of tight pants and nice cuban heeled boots#is pretty responsible but has issues being told what to do prob stemming from the whole absent parent thing (srry orion)#can play piano but only the basics. only learned to help with the songwriting process.#if underground wastebasket has a million haters amais is one of them. if underground wastebasket has one hater they are that one.#if underground wastebasket has no haters that means amais is dead.#my mcs#if: infamous#mc: amais rena (infamous)#mb
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harmoonix · 9 months
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🌃⚡Stormy Astrology Notes⚡🌃
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⚡ - Moon aspecting Mars can end up with anger issues, is because sometimes they know how to control their emotions and sometimes they don't
⚡ - Mercury in Sagittarius/Gemini might have a different way of expressing their words and the way they communicate might be also different than others
⚡ - Neptune aspecting Moon gives beautiful eyes and face features, definitely i think of angelic placements
⚡ - Natives with heavy Aquarius or 11th house placements are THE BIGGEST defenders of their friends, they won't let you to talk bad about their friends
⚡ - Heavy Taurus or Cancer placements can possess cooking talents or they just may like to cook and try different types of food
⚡ - Moon prominent in a chart makes the native sensbile, spiritual and magic, they have a mix of everything honestly because of their imense intuition and power
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⚡ - Asteroid Devine (3561) in the 7th house can have a blessed relationship and the type of "I wish to have this type of relationship just like they have"
⚡ - Asteroid Pandora (55) aspecting Ascendant can be seen as someone who is always curious and looking for things to do, their curiosity might be too much sometimes
My reaction: 😍😍
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⚡ - Mercury aspecting Moon or Venus are AMAZING artistically people, they are extremely talented in arts, acting, music painting etc..
⚡ - Lilith in Virgo/6H house is not an easy placements but is definitely not for the weak because Virgo who is the (Virgin) meets Lilith who is like the baddie who does naughty things and in this placement Lilith can embody both dark and light energy
⚡ - Lilith in Gemini/3rd house have kinks to love and hear their partners moaning or calling their names during breaking bed time, they love this
⚡ - Lilith in Cancer/4th house might be obsessed with their partners chest, or muscles they just habe this secret addiction to chest and muscles
⚡ - Aries Mars/Scorpio Mars and Sagittarius Mars are no joke when it comes to breaking bed time, they are REALLY into it without stopping...all day all night 🌃
⚡ - An UNDERATTED thing about Lilith - Sun aspects is that they love the dark aesthetic, dark movies, dark books, dark clothes everything basically who has this Darcie/Villain type of energy
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⚡ - Asteroid Lilith (1181) aspecting Ascendant can't help it to make other people fall over them, they are always in someone's eyes and in someone's else heart
⚡ - Gemini in the 5th house/Gemini Venus may have multiple crushes or can end up as a love triangle between them..Yes I know this is not K-drama material but can feel like it
⚡ - You tell me you have Aquarius Venus or Aquarius Juno and your friends didn't fall for you?That's an rare event because people with these placements often end up with their friends falling for them or vice versa
⚡ - Hekate (100) - aspecting Ascendant is extremely spiritual gifted, and also embodying Hekate's energy, i love people with such placements..it always makes me think to Hekate putting them in the right path
⚡ - Hekate (100) aspecting Moon could have been a witch or having some business with sorcery in a past life because moon can repsent past life topics
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⚡ - Having 11°, 23° degrees in your (Sun, Moon, Rising) can show gaming addiction, they might have a passion for gaming or playing games in general
⚡ - Having 4°, 16°, 28° degrees in your (Sun, Moon or Rising) can show an aesthetic related to sky/stars/celestials/ and even astrology they can love astronomy and study it
⚡ - Having 6°, 18° degrees in your (Sun, Moon or Rising) shows that you prioritize your health a lot, you like to keep yourself healthy and in good form and always trying to keep an balance
⚡ - Virgos and their obsession with cleaning is something else, if they find even a little crumb on the floor, they would clean it until their floor shines
⚡ - Libra/Taurus in Sun. Moon, Rising is the IT placement for being the "lover girl" kind of thing. Love is their thing since they are the being kids of Venus
⚡ - Nothing is as juicy as someone with Capricorn and Scorpio placements in their chart, they are the juiciest people you will ever met
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⚡ - Psyche (16) - or Vesta (4) in water signs... How does it feel be a starchild?? Is honestly intense and beautiful, they were always giving this type of "I'm not from this world im just visiting"
⚡ - Neptune can repsent addiction aswell so people with a heavy Neptune in their chart may have different addictions to different things
⚡ - Pluto aspecting Mars placements are on the list of being the naughtiest people...Life can always get crazy if you have these aspects in your chart
⚡ - Air Placements really love the cloudy weather...well it kinda makes sense because they are represented by the air element but I mean the vibe this cloudy weather brings them
⚡ - Having 5°, 17°, or 29° degrees in your Sun, Moon or Rising gives that type of person who is always in the spotlight, they receive a good amount of attention and it can be anytime of it. Like people staring at you because they are curious or interested in you
⚡ - Not me discovering at 3 A.M that having Chiron in the 2nd, 4th, 8th and 12th houses just means you inherited pain 😭 like you have to carry some pain but that is coming from other people not you #staystrong
⚡ - Moon in Sagittarius/9th house can be really outgoing if you give them that chance, like you can see them dancing in the middle of the floor on some Nicki Minaj songs and you'd be still wondering if they are drunk on is just their personality (Applies if you have Moon in Sagittarius Degrees 9°. 21°)
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⚡- Having 2°, 14°, 26° degrees in your Sun, Moon or Rising makes you so charming and lovely, this is truly someone who is beautiful inside and out and shares a good energy to people
⚡ - Girlie be having Pluto/Saturn in the 11th house and has either that type of friends who betray them either their friends become a lesson for them 😭
My reaction:
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⚡ - Saturn in the 6th house/12th house natives be getting tried so fast, is like the energy goes out of them in the moment they wake up 😭😭
⚡ - People with the sister signs in their chart and either get along or hate eachother forever, for example: 2 Cancer Risings can like eachother and it can happen for 2 Virgo Risings to hate eachother
⚡ - Is very important for natives with Neptune in the 1st house or Neptune aspecting ascendant to be around good and positive people, because if they are around bad people these natives can get really easy influenced by others so please take care of your surroundings
⚡ - "I think I'll miss you forever" gives Pluto - Venus aspects and it's so true because those natives love the deepest
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⚡ - Storms are magnificent and dangerous in the same time, especially seeing it at night, it's wonderful how mother nature wants to show the world how amazing she is ⚡
⚡- Hope you enjoyed the post, may your day be with a good vibe and light energy 🌃
H a r m ⚡ o o n i x
Harmoonix2023®
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ew-selfish-art · 11 months
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My brain is unwilling to let go of Twin AU prompts. Sorry for the long post lmao.
Jazz and Jason are getting pretty serious in their relationship, and honestly, they’ve both been hesitant to introduce their family members to one another despite constantly talking about them. They’ve been dating since she started her doctoral studies at Gotham U and she’s about to defend her dissertation, so it really is about time. He saved her in her first week as the Red Hood and he immediately felt at home with her (something, something liminal), she runs into him the next day at a coffee shop and thanks him for taking the time to help her. 
Identities are obviously blown. Jason knows that her brother works in ‘politics’ and her younger sister is a travel blogger, and that the three of them don’t talk to her mad scientist parents anymore. Jazz knows that he came back from the dead, his adoptive family had a slew of issues in addition to their hero-complexes and that he would be prepared to kill for any one of his siblings. Their communication skills are top notch. 
But then came the issue of actually meeting the family. Like Jazz knows all of the drama between the siblings but could not pick them out of a line up, or more importantly, know who to talk to if an emergency situation came up. Jason agrees, that yeah, it would probably be for the best if he could at least identify her little brother and sister if they had to like, meet at hospital or something. 
So that was the plan. Invite just siblings over to their shared apartment, no parents and no fuss. (She even called Danny ahead of time to tell him not to portal straight into the apartment, he needed to walk in the door like a normal person. They could share Ghost King secrets later.) 
Tim arrives first, he’d been working a case nearby and Jazz & Jason live pretty close to a nice coffeeshop, so he stopped along the way. He’d done some creeping to figure out that she drinks Chai so he brought one for her. Creepy and yet, endearing. 
Ellie comes in second from the window, launching into a story about how annoying it was to find the place with all the gloom, didn’t this city have any respect for the dead? Tim doesn’t get it but Jason is laughing along so Tim files it away for later. 
Dick comes in with a shit ton of Pizza he panic ordered, a fruit bouquet and two bottles of wine from Bruce’s cellar. Duke came along with him, a large tupperware of Alfred’s cookies. 
Then Steph, Babs and Cass show up, immediately treating Jazz like family while also being hella suspicious about the whole thing. She notices them looking at her hands and Jazz explains that no, they weren’t doing this because Jason proposed. Steph and Cass are annoyed at Jason but tell Jazz she could do better if she wanted. Babs is happy they aren’t rushing into anything (she’s the only one besides Tim that knows how long they’ve been dating- this is just to throw out a red herring for the others)
Everyone is getting along and having a great time, Ellie being a natural entertainer along side Dick, everyone trying to tell embarrassing stories about Jason. Loud noises are coming from the hallway when they realize that neither Damian nor Danny had arrived. 
Rushing out the door, the boys are alternating putting each other into choke holds and arguing about not being clones. Danny keeps phasing out of Damian’s grip and Damian keeps pulling out more knives. The hallway looks like it had been blown up and the two are continuing to yell at one another about going to a family dinner. Jason and Jazz just stare at them from the doorway, and wouldn’t you know it, they look like fucking twins. 
Jazz grabs Danny, Jason grabs Damian, and everyone is fucking confused. Both sides of the family can confirm growing up with the twins, that neither are a clone. Ellie helpfully supplies that she’s the clone and that opens a whole other bag of chaos. 
Eventually they get everyone to sit down for dinner and the night gets weirder from there. 
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andivmg · 2 months
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speak up andi, I beg of you, you have been mistreated the most here, I know it took shubble a lot of courage but she has helped so many people
i want to start this off by saying it is not a competition and i do not want to compare my experience to anybody else’s. shubble is so fucking strong and i admire her and everyone else who has spoken up about experiencing abuse endlessly.
DISCLAIMER 1
this is way longer than i intended it to be. i did not plan to go into as much depth as i did but the words just kinda kept coming and i kept thinking that if someone else is in a similar situation to the one i was in, it would be good to point out even some of the smaller details so that they can see that these behaviors are not something to be overlooked and could be a symptom of a bigger issue… idk. i apologize for how lengthy and wordy this is but i hope it all makes sense somehow
DISCLAIMER 2
a lot of you know who one of my exes is and i am asking you to please not make this about him. i am simply sharing my experience with some of my past relationships in hopes that they help someone else. i beg of you, do not go on twitter making threads speculating on whatever because it’s just going to cause me a bunch of problems and i don’t want this to be brought to his attention. if you share my story, please do not do it with the intent of starting drama. if you share my story, focus on the behaviors i am talking about instead of trying to figure out if it’s about him.
DISCLAIMER 3
this goes without saying but i’ll put it here anyway: i will be talking about toxic relationships, mention of self harm, mention of sex, implied violence. if any of these topics are triggering to you please scroll away, protect yourself.
I have been in a lot of relationships, but there are 4 that i would truly identify as the ones who had the biggest impact on me. Two of those i would consider emotional mistreatment. I don’t want to say i was abused for reasons that i will be discussing with my therapist this week, but i can certainly say i was mistreated. For the sake of privacy, i will be referring to these two dudes as 1 and 6.
I think the biggest difference between 1 and 6 is that 6 was obsessed with me to the point where i felt like i was being suffocated, whereas i’m not sure if 1 ever cared about me in the first place.
6 and i started out pretty normally. we had a bunch of friends in common and we were around the same people. so eventually, we became friends too. we would text and call all the time until feelings developed into a relationship. in the beginning he was really sweet and caring, saying all the right things that got me falling head over heels. now, something important to note is that i am someone who has always had a lot of guy friends. when i was little and in school, my mom made friends with a bunch of other moms and those moms were boy moms, so i grew up surrounded by boys. i bring this up because 6 didn’t like my guy friends. actually, i think he just didn’t like the fact that i had guy friends at all. so, whenever i would hang out with my friends, it was a problem. so this resulted in me never being able to go out or hang out with my friends unless he was there. then it got worse. before we started dating he had decided to cut back on drinking and to stop smoking. so because of this, i decided that i wouldn’t drink or smoke around him in solidarity. this was not enough for him. i had to stop drinking and smoking altogether. so once, when i was hanging out with my girl friends we decided to stay in and get wine drunk. we posted about it on our private stories on snap and once he saw, 6 called me arguing and yelling at me because i was drinking and posting about it on my story for “attention”. after this incident, i was no longer allowed to hang out with my friends because they were a “bad influence”. he also didn’t like the clothes i wore. sorry, let me reiterate: he didn’t like my clothes when he wasn’t around. it was perfectly fine for me to wear a short dress… if i was with him. i was not allowed to wear “revealing” clothing if he wasn’t around. mind you, none of the clothes i wore were revealing, it’s not my fault i’m hot yk? he took over my life. who i talked to, what i did, what i wore, where i would go, it was all up to him. my life no longer belonged to me. and at the time, i was okay with that. i didn’t realize that he had so much control over everything. i was young and naïve and he convinced me that he knew what was best for me. that he had lived more than i had and experienced more than i had and that he knew better. he was so good at making everything my fault and making him the hero or victim depending on the situation. i got catcalled on the street? “because you were wearing that fucking dress again, andrea you know how that looks. of course you got catcalled. this is why you can’t wear things like that when i’m not around to protect you”. I decided to have a fun night in with my friends and get drunk? “i just don’t understand why you would be posting yourself on your private story like that. you’re drunk and vulnerable. why do you want other people, other guys, to see you like that? and you know i’ve cut back on drinking so how do you think it makes me feel to see that? don’t you love me enough to do this for me?” the worst part is i believed him. because, in the beginning, he helped me so much and i looked up to him so much, surely he had my best interests at heart, right? this relationship went on for way longer than it should have. you may be asking yourself, how did you leave? if you were so in love with him and entranced by him to the point where he consumed you, why did you leave? he raised his hand. that’s what got me to finally leave. a year after we broke up, i found out that he was drinking, smoking, and doing all kinds of shit he told me he wasn’t throughout our entire relationship. he was awful, and i’m really proud of myself for being strong enough to leave when i did. i’m also really grateful for my friends, who stuck out that whole train wreck with me. who i lashed out against in order to protect him and defend him. they stuck by me through it all and i don’t know where i would be without them so shoutout to them lmfao.
1 was a bit more complicated. it started out in a similar way. we had the same friends, hung out around the same people, so it was only a matter of time until we became friends too. we would call and text every day until feelings were developed. at least i developed feelings, i’m still not sure he did. i told him this and i don’t remember how the conversation went but basically we had decided that we were talking as more than friends now. enough time went by where i was ready for it to become a relationship and i communicated that to him. looking back, i think he felt pressured into the relationship by me and by our friends. anyway we started dating and everything was fine. we would hang out and talk all the time but i felt like he was bored or disinterested by me, so i would constantly beg for his attention. i became this needy clingy version of myself that i hated. it felt like when we would hang out, he was always distracted by something else. i basically felt invisible to him. that is, when i wasn’t hanging out with my guy friends. similarly to 6, 1 did not like my guy friends or the fact that i had guy friends in the first place. i had a guy best friend at the time who is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. let’s call him S. S and 1 were acquainted with each other, hung out in the same circles etc. but 1 still didn’t like him. sometimes, whenever 1 was busy doing whatever he did when he wasn’t with me, i would hang out with S, we would watch shows together and just talk. Some days, it felt like i talked to S more than my own boyfriend. this did not sit well with 1. he would ask “why the fuck are you always hanging out with him?” to which i would reply “maybe if you hung out with me more, i wouldn’t have so much free time to spend with him” (toxic ik but what can i say? i was feeling neglected). so you can see what problems this caused. eventually i cut S off. I stopped talking to him completely and i haven’t spoken to him since. Back to 1. even after cutting off my best friend, nothing really changed. He didn’t spend much time with me and whenever we would, i felt like he couldn’t wait to go off and do something else. this got exhausting. at that point i was begging him to love me, to pay attention to me, to care about me. this led to us breaking up. he broke up with me over text. it read, and i quote, “i think we aren’t meant for each other. i think you deserve someone that will treat you better than i do. I don’t think i’m in love with you and i tried to force myself to love you because i thought that’s what i wanted but i really don’t think it is. we started this relationship when i was just tired of being alone and i really just don’t think it is right anymore. i don’t think i am attracted to you. I am sorry, i really didn’t know how to end this and this probably isn’t the best way to do it but it’s time”. The relationship went on for another six months after this. granted, i should have had more self respect and never gotten back together with him but it is what it is. so after he told me that he didn’t love me and that he wasn’t attracted to me, we stayed “friends”. which basically meant that we did everything that a relationship involved. without actually being in a relationship. that is, until one of his friends hit me up. there was some flirtation going on but nothing serious. i was still in love with 1 but, at the time, i was in desperate need for attention and his buddy was there to provide it. when i told 1 about it he flipped out, called me all kinds of crazy and decided he was done with me. his friend and i talked about it and poked fun at the fact that he broke up with me but got mad at someone else paying attention to me. when 1 saw this (he ended up forcing me to show him the screenshots of the conversation) he was even more pissed and even more done with me. the next day he called me and we were basically back together again.
however, this time, i was meant to earn his affection. because i did something so unforgivable and atrocious, he was basically in the clear to treat me like shit. and he did. he would cancel plans to go hang out with his friends. he would only come over late at night, even when i had class the next day. i was basically at his mercy. we only hung out when he decided. we only spoke when he wanted to. i honestly can’t even recall us going on any date after that incident, save for one dinner. in short, i was not a priority to him. this, combined with some other stuff, really took at toll on my mental health. i entered a deep depression and began self-harming after being clean for 3 years. i sought out help and found a wonderful therapist who really helped me. but, 1 only saw this as one more problem. when we hung out he would complain that i was too sad. important note: because of that text he sent me i was incredibly insecure. so, little arguments would always end up escalating because i felt like he literally did not care about me and he would just keep making me feel like shit about being depressed. whenever we argued (which was very often) it would end in me locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing, nearly throwing up, while he was on his phone. i remember one specific argument started because he asked me if i would leave him for harry styles and i jokingly said yes (i am not and have never been attracted to harry styles). that argument escalated to the point where we almost broke up and he said to me “you should warn people before they fall in love with you that you are so mentally ill. because you’re always going to bring down the mental state of who you’re with”. he used my mental health against me like that a lot. whenever i would bring up something i wanted him to do or something that i didn’t like, he would call me needy, clingy, and say that he was trying his best but that i needed too much, that i was too much. all i wanted was reassurance. looking back, that’s all i ever asked for. whenever i would ask him if he loved me he would say “well i’m with you aren’t i?”. this is the same man who decided to go to vegas with his friends on my birthday after he promised he wouldn’t. this is the same man who said that he didn’t love me. the same one who said he wasn’t attracted to me. the same man who i would catch looking at other girl’s (some being his “friends”) provocative pictures on twitter. (this is definitely tmi so i’m just going to put a bunch of asterisks at the end of the tmi so you can skip there if you don’t want to read it) but there was a long period of time in our relationship where we had zero intimacy, and it wasn’t because of me. this fucked with my head a lot because i had this idea that because i was so emotional and needy that i could compensate physically. but when that stopped, my thoughts looked something like “the only thing i was useful for was sex and now he doesn’t even want that from me”.************whenever i remember this, a part of me thinks he might’ve been cheating on me during that time, but i have no proof so i guess we’ll never know. also during that time period, we were arguing over the same things over and over “it feels like you don’t love me” “but i’m hanging out with you” “that’s not the same as loving me” “you’re so fucking needy. and then you wonder why i don’t like coming over”. it was exhausting. we had the same friend group. and even our friends got so sick of us that they would tell me to break up with him. this went on for months until one day, on our one year anniversary, he told me that his plans for the day included playing video games. nothing else. that’s when i broke up with him. that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. i just couldn’t do it anymore.
we stayed friends afterwards in order to keep the peace within the friend group. after about a month, he told me he was going to do better. he said he was going to start going to the gym, and maybe even going to therapy, that he was going to eat better and live a better lifestyle for me. he said he was going to plan dates for us and treat me the way i deserved etc. very much vibes from that one euphoria scene. but i was done. maybe i didn’t communicate that well enough to him and that’s my fault. but i was really confused at the time and i didn’t know what i wanted. eventually we had a conversation and that’s when i told him that i was no longer interested in a relationship. i think i just didn’t believe him anymore. i didn’t believe that he would change for me or anyone else for that matter. through the entire relationship he was mean to me, he neglected me, belittled me, and overall made me feel like shit at worst and invisible at best. even when i would offer to plan things or suggest activities for us to do together, he would be disinterested the entire time or just cancel and make plans with his friends instead. and of course it was all my fault for one, flirting with his friend that one time, and two, just not being interesting enough. he made it feel like i wasn’t good enough, and at the same time victimized himself. he would tell me “nothing i do is ever good enough for you” while i was the one putting in all the effort in the relationship. then he would go “well why would i put in effort with you? remember when you were flirting with [redacted]? I still think about that and it fucks me up”. mind you, he would only bring this up whenever i brought up any concerns or issues. anyway, as you can tell it took me a really long time to realize that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy and i’m really proud of myself, again, for having the strength to leave and never look back. i think one of the reasons why it took me so long to realize that i was being mistreated was because everyone around him loved him. and to me it was hard to see how someone that was so well liked could be bad. so i felt like i was the problem. i felt like there was something wrong with me and if i just fixed that, then he would treat me better and love me and care about me. it took a lot of therapy to realize that he just wasn’t that into me. i was like a toy to him that he could just pay attention to when he was bored but ignore me the rest of the time. but then, when someone else showed interest in me he would suddenly care and be like “no she’s mine, you can’t have her”. he didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me and that was the bottom line. that was the base off all the problems and toxicity that happened while we were together.
in conclusion, both of these men were awful in their own unique ways. i hope that by sharing this, someone who is in a similar situation will see it and identify these behaviors as something to watch out for. i hope that someone will see it and realize that they are not alone, and that they are not the first person to go through it, and that it gets better. these events all happened over two years ago and now i am in a beautiful and healthy relationship, i’m studying something that i am passionate about, and i am surrounded by people who love, care about, and support me. i am in a much happier place now and you will find that too, whoever you might be <3
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joelsmochi · 5 months
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Diet Mountain Dew
rating: E 18+ only pairing: f!reader x bfd!joel miller (tv + game series) summary: your boyfriend has been cheating on you, but his uncaring, selfish, and very flirtatious father wants to make it up to you the best way he knows how... warnings: AU (no apocalypse, no sarah), infidelity, 30+ year age gap, asphyxiophilia, dacryphilia, a little rough housing, hair pulling, spanking, oral (m receiving) | let me know if i've missed any! wc: 5.5k a/n: thank you for 500 followers!!! let the record show that i do not condone or endorse cheating at all, this is purely for entertainment purposes!!! i tried something a little bit different with the writing style so please let me know if you guys like it or not!
you’re no good for me, but baby i want you…
He couldn’t help his filthy mind. Even if he wanted to. Being around you was always a test of his willpower.
He kept as much distance as respectfully possible, not wanting to give himself away. Still, every night he managed to find himself lying in bed fisting his cock while entertaining the daydreams he often had of fucking you into the bed.
It wasn’t the age difference that deterred him from you, but the mere fact that you were dating his son.
He hated himself for it, but he hated it even more when he would be painting his stomach with white streaks and barely whispering remnants of your name.
And now, as he sits across from you and his son at the dinner table, he hates himself for finding you so pretty.
His eyes keep lowering to look at your grey and white striped tank top — not because he was trying to look at your cleavage but because it fits you perfectly. You kept fidgeting with the top hem of your shirt as if you were ensuring it wasn’t shifting too low. He thought it was cute.
Your voice left him in a trance; he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, but he enjoyed hearing you rave and ramble about the movie you just went to.
The real mood killer was Jacob — “Okay, we get it. It was a good movie,” he snapped.
“Jacob,” Joel scolded. Though the pout you absentmindedly wore told Joel that it was pointless.
Jacob made an incredulous face and slightly shrugged. “What? She’s been talking about the movie for ten minutes. I feel like I saw the damn thing.”
“Well, I happen to like spoilers.” Joel meant it as a joke in hopes of lightening the mood, but once he saw the slight smile on your face, he felt a sudden rush of protectiveness.
How he could appreciate you more than his son did was beyond him. Joel just hoped it wasn’t a more significant issue behind closed doors.
Over the next few months, Joel had been seeing less and less of you and even managed to overhear some of the times Jacob had been arguing with you over the phone.
From the only half of the conversation he could hear, Joel gathered that you were upset that Jacob was spending more time with “friends” than you, which led Joel to believe it was more of an indication of cheating. He stayed tightlipped about it because he had no desire to stir up any unnecessary drama, but his curiosity grew as time passed.
So when he saw you grabbing some cereal in the grocery store on a random Tuesday, he wasted no time approaching you.
You seemed surprised at him calling your name but gave him a welcoming smile nonetheless.
“Hi, Joel, how are you?”
“I’m alright, how ‘bout you? Feel like I haven’t seen you around lately.”
Your smile nearly dropped completely. “Yeah, uh. Jacob and I are just going through a tough time right now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Joel said softly, not really meaning it. “My son aside, I do actually enjoy your company. I mean, you’re the only twenty-four year old I know that likes U2.”
That made you chuckle. “Oh, is my seasoned music taste the only thing I have going for myself,” you bantered.
He tried to contain his blush as if it were even possible. “No, not at all,” he sarcastically replied. “You also don’t use like or totally after every other word.”
You laughed harder at that, maybe a little more than necessary, but it was nice to be complimented on things other than how ‘good you give head.’
A few minutes later, you told Joel you have to get going, and for some reason, he took it as the chance to say, “Next week, they’ll have that new Daniel Craig movie in theaters. I was wonderin’ if you’d want to go. I remember you said something about it.”
You smirked up at him and narrowed your eyes slowly. “Are you asking your son’s girlfriend on a date, Mr. Miller?”
Kind of, he thought.
“No! No, fuck,” he hissed, pinching his nose bridge and squeezing his eyes shut. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”
And there’s another cute laugh coming out of you. “I’m teasin’. I think it might be a little weird, y’know?”
“Jake can come if you want. Doesn’t have to just be you and me.”
“Mmm… I kinda don’t want him to,” you admitted. “He’ll just complain the whole time. We’re friends, right? Let’s go, just you and me.” Your optimism plastered a smile on his face, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t think it was cute. He agreed, and you both said your goodbyes.
As you walked away, you felt a pang of guilt for some reason. It wasn’t a date, but it felt like one. This sudden need to impress Joel Miller (formerly anticipated father-in-law) made you feel weird.
But you thought of all the nights you spent home alone watching movies because your boyfriend was out late again. And again. And again.
After a long and stressful internal debate inside a bath with some Epsom salts, you decided not to care.
So what if you wanted to dress up and wear a little makeup to (hopefully) catch your boyfriend’s dad’s attention? It's not like your boyfriend didn’t spend time doing body shots off of some random girl at the furthest bar across town.
A little male attention wouldn’t hurt anything, right? 
Besides, you didn’t think Joel would actually care. Pretending it was a date was purely just for your entertainment.
So when the day came, you practically ran outside the second you got a text message from him saying he was there. He chewed on his bottom lip to restrain his grin as he watched you walk towards his car, wearing a denim mini-skirt and a white babydoll top.
Your hair was neat and tucked behind your ears, and you were visibly wearing more makeup than usual.
He felt flattered, entertaining the idea of you putting in a little extra effort just for him.
The ride to the car wasn’t as tense as you had anticipated. You both spent it to talk about the previous movie and the theories you both had for the new one.
While you both were excited to see the actual movie, neither of you could stop noticing the small details about each other.
He smelled your lotion. You smelled his body wash.
He noticed your new earrings. You caught him smiling a lot more.
He looked at you every chance he got. You waited until he looked away to look at him.
He insisted on paying for your tickets and food at the theater, then led you to the “best seats” in the viewing room. Not a date, your ass. He even looked like he put effort into buying a new pair of jeans.
The tension inside you grew as soon as the movie began. And fucking hell, you didn’t know you could get so horny so fast. It was stupid little things that made you clench your thighs occasionally.
No fingers brushing. No elbows touching. Nothing like that.
Instead, it was the sound of his fingernails scratching the thick layer of scruff along his jaw, how he occasionally readjusted in his seat and seemingly spread his legs a little more, and when he would look over at you to ensure you were enjoying the movie.
This had gone a little further in your head than you intended, but you didn’t fucking want it to stop.
Maybe halfway through the movie, he realized you hadn't opened any of your candy. You always ate candy during a movie; it was something Jacob found cute when you first started dating and something Joel grew accustomed to long before his crush even developed. Joel even made it a point to keep a stash for when Jacob had you over for movie night.
He felt a little silly for hyper-fixating on such a weird and relatively small detail, but then he saw your legs clench together. He tried telling himself you were only readjusting your position, but then you sighed in a peculiar tone. The sigh that Joel always let out when he was sexually frustrated.
He would have continued telling himself he was reading too much into it, but another soft sigh left your lips, and suddenly, all he could think about was having you beneath him making the same pretty noises.
All the signs were there, but who would initiate it, and how? He worried he bit off more than he could chew by inviting you here. It only got more difficult to ignore when his cock stiffened inside his jeans, rolling his eyes at the fact that he wasn’t in the comfort of his own home to take care of it.
You noticed his hand palming his jeans and glanced over at him, only to see his erection throb against his pants, hard.
Knowing you’d probably regret it, you put your hand beneath the armrest and suddenly rested your hand high up on his thigh. His body tensing made you halt any more sudden movements, but nothing suggested he wanted you to stop.
He searched for the strength to push your hand off and tell you to stop, that this was wrong, and to remind you of your assumed loyalty to his son.
But he didn’t want that at all.
He liked having your hand on his thigh where it felt like it belonged, painted nails drawing small circles along the denim.
What he truly needed was for this fucking movie to be over. Once it finally was, he wasted no time getting you back into his truck.
“Joel?” Your voice was fragile and soft, and you wondered why he hadn’t made a move yet or at least started the engine. “Should I not have done that?”
“What were you thinkin’?” Was all he could think to ask.
“Guess I wasn’t.”
“No. You shouldn’t’a done that.”
“I’m sorry…”
“You will be.”
You don’t remember who initiated it or climbed in the backseat first. All you knew was that you were looking at the back of a building, the mall, or something, and you heard Joel grunting next to your ear while his hips slammed against your ass.
You felt a soreness forming around where his rough hands were holding you, but you didn’t flinch or pull away. You leaned into the meanness of his grip, allowing it to satiate all of that burning desire running along your flesh.
“Oh my God, Joel, ye-yes.”
His name dripping so effortlessly from your lips only urged him to fuck you even faster, his truck no doubt shaking violently because of it, some metal underneath made that obnoxious creaking sound to verify.
“You like that, huh,” he groaned; his fingers wrapped around the cuff of your elbow to meet his body halfway with the thrusts. “Needy fuckin’ girl. Takin’ me so well-agh!“
“So deep,” you huffed out.
“C’mere.”
Joel carefully turned your body around, sitting you back against the door before sliding his cock back inside of you with ease from how wet you were.
“Joel,” you moaned without reason, eyes fluttering shut as the curve of his shaft continued to rut into that sensitive spot.
He pulled the strap of your tank top down to find you braless. Of course. He smirked and licked his thumb and index finger before giving your stiff nipple a soft pinch.
Your breath shuddered at the surge of pleasure, and then he did the same thing to your clit with his other hand.
“Oh my fucking-“ You cut words off with a deep moan, finding it a little silly that such a slight squeeze to your clit could make you melt the way it did.
“Tha’ feel good, baby?” He asked, voice hoarse from choking back his own moans.
You hummed and nodded, something he thought was cute and began to rub your clit forcefully with his big thumb. Your mind felt numb from all of it, so much pleasure releasing itself.
Looking up at Joel made you feel so small, protected, and cared for. Looking down between your legs, he looked so focused on making you feel good.
“He doesn’t fuck you like this, does he?”
You shot your wide-eyed gaze up at him, surprised at his sudden appraisal of his son.
He chuckled and took his hand from your breast to softly hold your chin. “You gettin’ all shy on me now, girl?” Suddenly, he fell to an achingly slow rhythm and curled his hips into yours instead of his previous thrusting. “…I thought you had a bit more confidence than that.”
You scowled at his taunts, not sure what to say back. You just wanted to fucking cum. Noticing your lack of response made him chuckle again.
“What? My son don’t fuck you stupid like this?” He whispered onto your lips.
“…No,” you finally whimpered.
You felt a weird rush of emotion pass through you; the father of your boyfriend talking down on him while simultaneously fucking you didn’t turn you off like it maybe should have… If anything, it pushed you closer to the edge.
Joel raised his eyebrows in amusement and half smiled at your flushed face. “No?” His finger still made loops around your clits, his cock drenched in your heat. He wanted you to feel all of it.
“You make me feel so good, Joel.” You reached up to give him a chaste kiss.
“You take me so well, honey,” he said against your neck. “I want you to cum for me. Can you do that, baby? Hmm?”
You whispered out your confirmation and grabbed a hold of his greying hair. You wanted to memorize this moment thread by thread. His hair smelled of cheap shampoo and his beard of coffee, but his arms and chest smelled like him with the hint of sweat that made your eyes roll to the back of your head. God, how you could just bathe in him, cumming and unfolding in his strong arms. 
“Oh- Joel, I’m cu—I’m cumming,” you choked out. He said something about how good you were that you couldn’t quite process.
You held onto him tightly and cried out at the sensation of your knotted-up tension unraveling inside you like a Christmas present just waiting to be opened up. It fluttered and filled every corner of your mind, all while you moaned his name. You couldn’t even confuse it with his son’s. Joel.
Joel just worked better in your mind than Jacob ever could. Joel worked your body better, too. Maybe even a little better than you.
Your mind was so fucking blank that you almost didn’t feel Joel collapse onto you as he finished himself, moaning your name and running his hands all over you as if to savor it. He kissed you softly, slowly pulling out of you, and discarded the condom somewhere.
“So pretty when you cum.”
You lazily giggled at the compliment and sat up to grab your panties, but Joel snatched them from your weak hand. He took your legs and rested them in his lap to slide the fabric up your calves and thighs. You just watched and smiled at his further appreciation for your body as he did the same with your skirt.
“You really know how to treat a lady,” you playfully cooed, reaching for another kiss that he returned, savoring it.
He bashfully smiled, like his mind was elsewhere. “You know we can’t do this again, right?”
“We will,” you quipped, confidence returning; he glanced over at you and frowned, confused at the sly grin you wore proudly. You climbed onto his lap and ran your nails over his facial hair, trailing over his pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows. “The more you fight it, the more you’ll need me, Joel.”
And fuck, were you right.
Weeks. He waited weeks after that encounter to see you. Weeks, he felt disappointed when you didn’t attend the weekly dinner that Joel and Jacob agreed upon him moving out.
He no longer felt guilty touching himself to thoughts of you. He was angry. Why couldn’t you just say you agreed with him instead of letting him know there was an opportunity to do it again? Why make yourself available to anyone other than his (shitty) son?
That anger turned into thirst when you finally decided to show up for Jacob’s small birthday dinner. Aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered to wish the only child a happy birthday. Meanwhile, Joel couldn’t tear his eyes away from you the second you walked in — partially because he wasn’t expecting you to show up after not seeing you for a while, but he’d never seen you wear something so… Short.
As possessive as he wanted to be, he knew he had to keep his composure not to reward you the satisfaction and keep his promise to himself. What he hadn’t considered is that you would not make those same promises.
While Joel finished preparing the food, you told Jacob you’d help bring everything else out so he could sit around the living room and talk to his family and friends.
You took the unnecessary route and grazed your chest against Joel’s elbow as you reached into the refrigerator to grab some drinks before taking them to the other room. You made as many sly little trips like that, not looking at or towards Joel whatsoever but making sure he was looking at you.
You saved Joel’s beer for last. You always brought him his beer once you realized he usually had one before eating dinner any time you were over. It wasn’t anything malicious or sneaky until now.
You grabbed the brown glass bottle and stood next to him. Finally giving him the satisfaction of looking at him, you twisted the cap off and wrapped your lips around the cold rim, tilting the glass up and tasting some of the orange-flavored liquid, lips coming off the bottle with a pop.
Those lips. That noise. It filled his mind with the image of you a second ago, only instead of a beer bottle, he imagined his hard cock.
He watched carefully as you licked up a running droplet from the side of the neck; you held the bottle up for him to take, and tensely, he did so.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” His usual response but in a more sultry tone.
It made you blush and stare at him like he hung the stars and moon every night for you. “You’re welcome, Joel.”
He kept his eyes on you as you walked away for the last time, thinking about everything he wanted to do to you.
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His hands were firm, clasped tightly around your wrists. His body pressed into your back while he pushed you against the wall. He hated that you were laughing. That you thought this was a funny game.
He thrusted into your ass without care, hurting you slightly with the pressure. He grabbed a hold of your hair and yanked it. He almost smiled at you, yelping out.
“Where’s that little fucking smile at now, huh,” he gritted. Then he planted a hard smack to your cheek, not bothering to soothe it the slightest bit. “You think you can just tease me and test me and fucking treat me however you want? Hmm? Think you can walk around with your ass damn near hangin’ out of this fucking dress?”
A tear rolled down your burning cheek as you whimpered, “I’m sorry, Joel. I w-wanted your attention.”
“You got what you wanted. Don’t fuckin’ cry about it now.”
Feeling your panties fill with a warm desire, you felt pathetic and weak.
Do I like that, you wondered, feeling used and being hurt?
You got your confirmation from the dumb little whimper you let out when you felt Joel’s body release from you. He boots thumping against the floor a few times before the bed creaked from his body weight.
“Get on your knees,” he ordered.
You pushed away from the wall and tiptoed to him. He almost felt bad for making you cry, but you were pushing his fucking buttons all night long. You sank to the floor, sitting on your bare feet and looking at him through wet eyelashes. Joel was more than glad that Jacob decided to go to a party with his friends and even more pleased that he didn't ask questions when you said you'd stay to help Joel clean up.
“I’m sorry, Joel-“
“You will be.”
You softly smile at him, repeating those words, knowing this time he meant it.
His eyes were cold and shallow when they stared into yours as his hands worked to undo his belt buckle. The metal teeth clanking together made you shudder, and you tried your best to keep your eyes locked with his.
“You misbehave once, and this belt goes ‘round your neck,” he warned, “we clear?”
You bashfully nodded, thankful he accepted it as an answer. Though you secretly hoped he would do it already, knowing you were bound to back talk him at some point.
Joel began to undo his jeans, and he made a ticking noise behind his teeth, ruminating on how you played with him at the table.
“Playin’ with my cock under the table,” he grunted, pulling his jeans down to his knees, “what kinda girl are you?”
“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you, felt you,” you said, glancing down at the growing erection beneath his plaid boxers. “I was being needy.”
“Yes, you were,” he simpered, “but you know I like that.”
You hesitated for a second before jumping into his lap and kissing him. Thrown off, it was a moment until he relaxed into your body, grasping the sides of your waist and hungrily kissing you back with a groan emitting from his throat.
He tasted like a man. He smelled like a man. Beer and body wash and perspiration drowning your senses. Your pussy ached when he slipped his beer-coated tongue into your mouth, sloppily licking around the ridges of your teeth and lips, tasting your chapstick and that one sip of alcohol you stole from him a couple of hours prior.
He felt your shaky hands reach to pull his cock out of his boxers; you pumped it slowly with one hand between your bodies, causing his moans to fall into your mouth.
He got a hold of your tits and massaged them gently before giving your nipples both a hard pinch, making you yelp and pull away from him. After chuckling at your pouty face, he grabbed hold of your hair and pulled it to his liking, almost treating you like a rag doll.
“Need you to suck my cock,” he choked out, sounding almost as if he were pleading of you to do it.
“Are you asking?”
He tugged your hair a little harder to signal he was not asking.
“Yes, sir.”
He watched intently as you stripped down to your panties and sat back in your previous position on the floor, taking his pants off and propping your arms on his burly thighs. He leaned back after unbuttoning his shirt and watched your tongue lick up a thick bead of precum from his tip, and you swallowed it without a second thought.
You drooled and spit all over his cock, wanting to make it a little messy for him, and even spreading some around his balls which made him incandescently moan.
And finally, you took him into your mouth, slobbering and sucking and moaning away around his girth. Your hand pumped to the sane rhythm of your mouth while gently squeezing and twisting it to add to his pleasure.
Joel’s head fell back in ecstasy; he couldn’t hold back his moans even if he wanted to. Your mouth was so warm and inviting, and it felt so fucking good. Your tongue lapping away as you sucked drove him crazy, and he found himself wondering why the fuck his son was cheating on you.
“That’s it, baby—mnh, fuck,” he encouraged. “Just like that. Ohh, just like that.”
His hand stroked your hair, and you looked up at him from the touch. Those eyes of yours made his thighs twitch and his stomach contract.
He wanted to punish you for making him wait, for teasing him, for being so fucking irresistible… But he couldn’t. Not now, at least. He felt weak beneath you, out of control. And he loved it: watching you take control of him, his dick. The slurping noises coming from your mouth not only suggested that you knew what you were doing but that you fucking loved it.
Your lips humming around him and creating webs of spit and precum made his dick harder than he had ever felt it. He was so close already, dire for his release, and it didn’t help when you surprised him with a rough thrust into your throat.
It hurt a lot, but that’s what you wanted. To ruin yourself for him. Show Joel what he could be getting every fucking night. Tears ran down your cheeks as you put him further down your throat until your nose was buried into the black and grey hairs surrounding the base of his cock.
He cried out your name and obscenities, saying, “Please,” for something, but you were not sure what exactly. His trembling thighs began closing around your head, not aiding in the lack of oxygen you had left, but he tried to fight it. You refused to let up on him, only swallowing hard and gagging harder, waiting for him to shoot his cum down your throat.
“Fuckfuckfuckfuck! Oh fuck, no one- agh—no one’s ever fucking gone that deep-“
That’s what he was pleading for: he wanted you to quit. He didn’t want to cum so soon. But he tasted so good, and you had gotten him so fucking close, you couldn’t see yourself quitting now.
You pulled your head up to mess with Joel’s head, making him think you were listening. But you only went back down, making him pull your hair to stop you from disobeying him. Your lips departed from him with a pop, the same pop that he'd heard when you took a sip of his drink. It made him all the more desperate.
Despite your coughing and choking, he slipped his belt around your neck and looped it, not saying anything to ridicule you and simply tugging at the belt roughly. You choked a little more and then smiled at him, drool dripping down your chin onto your breasts. The sight was purely pornographic. Your lips were puffy, your face red, eyes dark and welling up, tears streaks on your cheekbones.
“Since you wanna fucking choke on something so bad…”
He tugged at the belt once again to emphasize his point. He stood up and yanked the leather to guide you where he wanted, yet that proud look never left your face. You were on all fours on the bed as if you were on display for him, and he stood behind you, pressing his thumb to your slit and spreading your juices around lazily.
You hummed at the small amount of friction and arched your ass up for him. Wiggling your hips in desperation, he smacked your ass hard enough to sting, the echo in the room ringing against your eardrums.
Joel smacked his fat tip against your asshole smirking when he felt it pucker; he took his wet cock in his hand, pumping it a few times before allowing it to sink inside of your needy cunt. You found yourself burying your face into the sheets as he began fucking you, the tug around your neck digging deeper as Joel maintained his grip on it.
“Such a fucking slut, so wet from just sucking my cock,” he spat, watching his cock disappear into your swelling pussy over and over and over. “S’it feel good, baby?”
You nodded, arching your back even more to feel him reach deeper and whimpering whenever his tip brutally bumped your cervix.
Suddenly, you felt a firm yank against your neck. “Use your words.”
“Feels so good, Joel,” you answered.
A swell of desire fills your belly, growing each time he thrusts into that sweet little spot inside of you. You’re clawing at the bed, reaching your neck forward to apply the satisfaction of not being able to breathe.
His free hand pressed against the swell of your ass, gripping it tightly as his hips snapped against the back of your thighs, making a clapping sound fill the room. You moaned into his duvet, slobber trailing out of the corners of your mouth. His balls hitting your clit with every thrust gave you the added pleasure you needed to finish if he kept this rhythm, but his voice was what you needed to send you over the edge.
"Such a pretty fucking pussy," he groaned. "Love how you squeeze my cock with it. Ohh, yeah, that's it, baby. You need to cum? Hmm? Does this pretty pussy need to cum?"
Your moans, muffled by the sheets, resulted in him pulling the belt up enough to make you lift your head so that he could hear you more clearly. "Yes yes yesss, Joel- MNH, oh fuck yes, please please."
He never forgot how your body gave away when you needed to cum; your body heaved with anticipation, your knuckles turned pale from your tight grip, your walls clung to him tighter than what was comfortable (which he fucking lived for then and now), and your moans heightened in pitch and volume. He couldn't punish you when you sounded so sexy screaming his name, it was his biggest weakness.
"I know, baby, I know. You can come," he encouraged sweetly, massaging the dip in your back to help relax you. "Cum for me, sweetheart. Need to feel you- fuck- cum for me."
And a few seconds later, you were convulsing beneath him from the tight coil inside of you finally breaking into shreds. The belt being pulled tighter around your neck rendered you helpless as it created the euphoria of what felt like nearly passing out. The fuzzy vision and the black spots sent your mind into a daze, or it could have been the lack of air. Your eyes grew heavy as your orgasm persisted from Joel's lack of mercy for your cunt. He just pounded away like you were made for him and his enjoyment only, and it thrilled you even more.
He grabbed your shoulder gently to bring your back to his chest and let go of the belt. You breathed heavily, and Joel kissed your jaw endearingly, his beard scraping your skin.
"So good f'me, you know that?" He moaned against your ear. His eyes fluttered shut when his hand went to cradle your chin, and he felt all of the saliva and tears coating your face. 
"Can't take it," you mumbled.
Your cunt was aching and sore, still pulsing from the harsh climax you had to endure with him not easing up at all. Your lips were swollen from his rough pounding, and your ass was burning from his hairs scratching against you. His cruel laugh filled your ears and made even more tears fall from your eyes.
"Fucking ruined you," he chuckled, earning another moan from you. "You can take it, baby. I know you can. I know you can be a good girl for me. Gonna fill you up with my cum- mmngh... Make sure this pussy knows it belongs to me."
"It does," you huff out, reaching to hold onto his forearms. "Not anyone else. Not even me. Just for you, Joel. It's all yours. Not even Jacob's."
That sent him over the edge. A pathetic whimper followed by a moan left his hoarse throat while he gave you one last powerful thrust. That cold feeling of guilt flooded his body and turned him on even more; he relished in the confidence you reclaimed, knowing that the guilt and secrecy of it all also turned you on in the darkest of ways.
"Fuck," he shouted as the last of his spend poured inside of your sore pussy. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and slowly pulled out of you to sit beside you on the bed before you climbed to straddle his thighs. "You're amazing," he whispered against your lips whilst unraveling the belt from your neck. "You know you really are gonna help me clean up," he teased, sending you into a short fit of laughter.
"Only if we get to make one more mess, Mr. Miller."
dividers by cafekitsune
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myouicieloz · 6 months
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💭 richgirl!aeri x studentathlete!reader
not proofread j some silly thoughts💕
pt.2
- you were thrilled to know you were going to share a dorm with another international student, specially since you were having a hard time adjusting.
- giselle was a sweetheart from day one, introducing you to everyone and making sure you always felt included.
- she was very classy and noticeably wealthy—you could tell, by her clothes and by the way she carried herself, that she came form money. besides, whenever you’d go out to fancy museums or coffee shops, something would always make your eyes grow big: always amused to your surroundings—yet she’d never bat an eye at it.
- you were given a full ride scholarship, and the only reason you were attending this specific university was due to the soccer coach spotting you at an international club tournament you played in new york and scouting you. you were hesitant, at first, but you weren’t going to get an offer to a university that was that prestigious at home anyway, so you decided to go.
- your parents were still paying for your stay, with much effort, so you tried to spend as little as possible.
- which meant subtly ducking from your roommate’s daily coffees and girl dates.
- giselle actually thought you didn’t like her until she realized you spent most of the time in the dorms because you were quite literally broke.
- it’s an issue she solves quickly enough.
- at first she just bluntly offers to pay for your stuff, but stops herself as you keep denying her efforts, with a flustered face. it’s only when she changes techniques that she starts succeeding in her efforts.
- she’s subtle, then: giselle gifts you clothes she claims that are “thrifted”, makes sure there’s always your favorite drink placed on your desk whenever you return from your practices, buys you the shoes she caught you lurking on the internet for far too long, claiming it’s your birthday present—even though your birthday isn’t until the upcoming months...
- accepting a purse she claimed she’d never used and “was in her closet for ages”. you later get told by a classmate said purse was just out of stock in seoul, even though it had just been announced
- you don’t suspect a thing, keeping her little gifts and dismissing them as just little treats she gives you as a friend. it’s giselle, after all. she was born into luxury, and gift giving is her primary love language.
- besides, you grew tired of rejecting her efforts to spoil you, and you hate to see her so offended when you tell her you just can’t keep that many presents. you hate the faces she does when she doesn’t get what she wants. and it frustrates you to not be able to gift her just the same. you wish you could spoil her rotten, too.
- as you stop telling her ‘no’, giselle becomes more and more confident.
- “it’s what roomies do, Y/n, don’t worry.” she assures you every time you try to give her the gifts back. in reality, giselle loves to see you dolled up in the stuff she chose. being the star player, you quickly gained popularity, so what better way to tell those useless whores who were always ogling you that you belonged to her already? what better way than having her brand all over you?
- she even gave you a friendship ring, as she called it, once you two went to the university’s fall ball, to symbolize how deeply you’ve connected since you started attending uni.
- you were basically either with your teammates or aeri and her friends. she was pretty, outgoing and naturally insanely popular. she dragged you with her everywhere, having you follow her around like a puppy. you didn’t mind, though: her friends were funny enough, and you liked getting to hear the drama and the gossips without being a part of it. they were also always polite to you, too, so you enjoyed hanging out with her and her group. they weren’t your friends, though. you reminded yourself that every now and then. just colleagues.
-
- she loved how shy you got when she touched you, too. it took her much, much patience, but after nearly a whole year, you were finally comfortable enough to be relaxed at her touches.
- an occasional hand on your waist, a kiss on the cheek; hugs that went for perhaps too long, cuddling sessions in the dorm as you watched her turn her buzzing phone off (she had a party to attend when you called her for a movie night. “oh, it’s ok unnie!! have fun.” you told her, but giselle was already sitting beside you and grabbing a hold of the blanket for herself.)
- she insisted on cuddling until you fell asleep too, even though your bed didn’t exactly fit both of you. however, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny her anything, already feeling like you owned her so much. she was the one who was always taking care of you, not only with her little gifts. she was always asking about your practices, if you needed any help with your classes, whether people were being nice and polite to you, since you still struggled with your korean when talking to many people at once. you were truly grateful to have her, so, naturally, you’d do anything for her.
- you’d often find yourself waking up with her hands groping your tits or lingering too close to the hem of your panties, but you’d never think much of it, dismissing it as your friend being just unconscious while sleeping.
- she was possessive, too. you could see the cold stare she gave your teammates whenever you had one of them over to study. funny enough, they never looked at you the same way again, nor did they accept your invitations to host movie nights anymore.
- your only friend (besides aeri) was jini. you were both new to the team and had many classes together. like you, she was shy, lost and very reserved, which was part of the reason you instantly clicked. you enjoyed hanging out with her between classes and practices, even more once you got to know her a bit better: jini was actually quite energetic and bubbly, always talking about her favorite mangas or the new songs she was listening to. you liked to hear how passionately she talked about things, sometimes so immersed she wouldn’t even notice you getting left behind in the sea of people, as you walked through your classes.
- naturally, giselle despised your teammate, always making sure to hug you extra hard and send her hard glances whenever you looked away.
- whenever she felt as if you didn’t have 100% of your attention on her, she’d buy you a fancy gift: an ipad of your favorite color, a watch, new earrings... it kept you clingy for days, entertained with your new stuff; just as she liked it.
- the first time you fucked, the two of you had just returned to another one of her fancy dinners with her friends. you were drunk, hot, and messy, struggling to get out of the small black dress that clung tightly to your body— which, of course, giselle had chosen for you to wear. you asked for help to take it off, but as soon as you felt your roommates long fingers trace your bare back, you lost it: you turned around, kissing her fiercely as the dress fell onto the ground, leaving you completely exposed.
- a wave of winds roamed through the window, hitting your body and making you shiver, feeling your nipples harden and your conscience returning. you took a step back, murmuring apologies and being extremely embarrassed, until you felt her hands on your waist again, pushing you onto your mattress as her body hovered on top of yours.
- she whispered it was ok; her pretty pet was horny, that’s all. she’d take care of it. and so she latched her mouth onto your body, making you moan loudly.
- you woke up still dizzy, with your body filled with bruises. you were still ashamed but deeply satisfied, and aeri brushed your hair as she said you could still be friends or something else, if you’d like.
- from then, you’ve been her girlfriend, though things had hardly changed. only now, she encouraged you to be vocal about the things you wanted her to buy for you, and you had to work for them.
- regardless, you love being her pet ;)
-
bonus: you didn’t realize you were kind of her sugar baby (even though she was only months older) until one of your teammates pointed it out, giving you a whole lot of harsh words and making a show of talking about how you were only with aeri because of her money. you ignored your girlfriend for a whole week after that, until she decided she’d given you plenty of space and confronted you with a serious tone. you started crying and she listened attentively as you explained the filthy words your teammate had said to you and all of her twisted suggestions. giselle nodded and pulled you close, kissing you and reassuring she knew none of that was true. yes, you were kind of a sugar baby since giselle spoiled you so much, but it didn’t have to be like that if you didn’t want it to be. you brushed your tears away, saying it wasn’t that; the girl’s words were just so agressive… the thought of people feeling so sure you didn’t love giselle as much as she loved you was overwhelming, which was why you distanced yourself. she understood, murmuring for you to tell her immediately when such things happened instead of refusing to see her, which you nod as she kissed the top of your head.
the girl gets expelled from your team 2 days after your conversation with giselle. however, you don’t connect the dots, only shrugging and not paying much attention to jini’s words as you walk to the cafeteria.
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hamiltonaf · 3 months
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Can you do one with Kylian being very jealous of yn all the time and every time she talks to a guy friend he gets mad and makes a big fuss about it and yn gets tired of him and wants to leave him but then he gets upset and begs for forgiveness but she is so tired of his bullshit and want to take a break from the relationship but after 1-2 months they get back together and he got jealous again so she wants to know why he is like that and it turned out that his ex girlfriend cheated on him multiple times so he had trust issues and she assured him that she wasn’t going to do the same thing
Trust Issues | Kylian Mbappé
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Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader
Word Count: 2.1K
Warnings: Minor angst
A/N: Hii loves ! I’m finally back. Apologies for being MIA, I had a lot going on, plus I had writers block. I’m sorry in advance if the end is disappointing - I honestly feel like I forgot how to write lol. If you’ve sent a request before, please note that I’m working on it. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo
Never thought I’d come to a point in life where I had to cut off all my guy friends for Kylian’s sake. I’ve told myself in the past that if I had to face that in a relationship then I’m walking out. Mentally I’m playing hangman with Kylian’s name.
I love Kylian, I really do, it’s also cute at times to see him get jealous but when it comes to a point when he tells me that I need to stop talking to my guy friend then I don’t vibe with that. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t trust me.
We’ve fought, he apologised, I looked past it for us to move on, but he just crossed the line.
I went out for a friend’s birthday dinner, Kylian decided to stay back and chill at home, though he promised he would pick me up after. The birthday dinner felt like a reunion as some of us were seeing each other after years, it was great catching up with everyone, especially Daniel. Him and I were really close growing up as our parents were good friends, but since I moved and was with Kylian I rarely attended gatherings.
It was getting quite late and Kylian was delayed, I didn’t bother rushing him since Daniel was accompanying me and we were just catching up on lost time. We were stood outside the restaurant, dinner had just ended, some had left and others were in their own conversations. “So how are things going? What have you been up to ?” Daniel eagerly asked. “Well, I’m in my final year of studying so it’s been a bit much but I’m coping. How are things going for you ?” I replied. “Life is great. Can’t complain” he smiled proudly. “Still running your parent’s empire I suppose” I smiled. “Nothing has changed” he grinned.
“Good for you Dan. You’re living the dream” I half laughed. “I’m living the dream ?” He scoffed. “Yeah of course ! You’re travelling literally every other month, flying first class and living the good life” I said. “Yeah but you’re the one dating the football player !” He stated. “Speaking of him, let me just check how far he is” I paused to check my phone if perhaps Kylian called or messaged. Nothing.
Just as I locked my phone, my head turned when I heard a car rev in the distance, he’s here. “Oh look. There he is” I said as both of our heads snapped to Kylian pulling up beside us. Daniel leaned towards the car as Kylian rolled down the window, “Hey man, I’m Daniel” he introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kylian” Kylian shook his hand. “Heard a lot about you. We should meet up soon, I’ll message (Y/N)” Daniel suggested. “Yeah sure” Kylian said lastly. “Take care bro” Daniel said before pulling me in for a hug. “Bye Dan. Until next time” I murmured. “Until then. Ciao” he said as his hand rubbed my back before breaking away from our hug.
I got into the car and immediately I could feel the tension in the air. “Hi baby” I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He didn’t say anything or react, he just remained stiff. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready to face the drama for the umpteenth time. Choosing not to say anything in the car until we got home was the best decision. The second the door shut, he didn’t surprised me by being the one to bring it up. “What was that ?” He raised his voice. “What was what ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Who even was that Daniel guy ? I was there for only a minute and I could see the way he was looking at you. You both seemed to enjoy that hug a little too much” he said. I scoffed, “Are you being serious right now ?”
“Do I look like I’m joking ?” He yelled annoyed. “You have honestly lost it !” I yelled as I turned my back on him and stormed towards our room. “(Y/N) I’m talking to you !” He yelled for me as he followed me to the room. “How the hell can you say we enjoyed that hug a little too much. Are you trying to call me a cheater ?” I raised my voice as I turned around to face him. “You’re just putting words into my mouth. My point is that if another person had seen you both together, they would think you’re a couple. I don’t want you seeing him again” he said.
“You know what Kylian ? I’m done” I huffed. “What do you mean done ?” He asked baffled. “I mean that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue being in a relationship where my own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me or allows me to talk to other guy friends of mine without assuming I’m cheating. I’m living a lie by staying in this relationship. Go find yourself a girlfriend that you can control because I’m not that girl” I said before getting a bag and packing it with my belongings.
“Babe please don’t do this. I swear I’m not trying to control you. I’ll admit that I got jealous, okay ? But please don’t go. I love you so much, what will I do without you ?” he pleaded and tried to stop me from packing but I continued.
“No Kylian ! Today you literally crossed the line, I couldn’t care so much for the other guys you said I need to stop talking to, but the fact that Daniel and I go way back and now you want me to cut off our friendship ? He’s basically apart of my family because his parents and my parents are friends. Kylian…I’m so tired honestly of us going back and forth. It just bothers me that Daniel attempted to be your friend in that minute you met but instead you ignore all of that and insinuate that I cheated ? Get some help because I need a break from your shit…this has gone past jealousy” I said in anger, I didn’t have it in me to cry.
“(Y/N) please. I’ll change okay ? I’ll do better. But please don’t go. Please give me another chance” he begged. “Kylian I gave you way too many chances. I can’t believe how long I’ve dealt with this and didn’t leave sooner” I said as I zipped up my bag. “So that’s it ? You’re just going to throw away a 2 year relationship ?” He asked. “All I know right now is that we need space away from each other. I love you Kylian, I do, but I think it’s best for the both of us” I pressed my lips together as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “So we’re over ?” He asked teary eyed. “I- please don’t make this harder than it already is” my voice cracked as I looked up in hopes that my tears would disappear.
“Babe you can’t give up on us. We’re meant for each other” he said as he grabbed my hands and rubbed small circles at the back of them. “Kylian, consider this a break rather than a break up. We can both wisely use this time to focus on ourselves…if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.”
Those were the last words I’ve said to him face-to-face. I left that night and ended up staying at my parent’s house. They were surprised to see me and were quick to ask where Kylian was, I just lied that he’s travelling for an away game. 2 weeks of staying with my parents raised suspicion and they figured out that something was wrong, my mom especially. I told my mom exactly what happened and luckily she took the hint to not talk about it.
Not a day passed that I didn’t receive a message from Kylian. Countless ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ flooded my phone daily, it wasn’t easy taking this time to focus on myself when he was on my mind all day. Whilst making his message clear, he indirectly would ask for us to talk it out and as much as it hurts, I refused. No point in us getting back together if he’s going to go back to square one.
After about a week, I caved in and started replying back to his messages. Eventually easing in to phone calls and FaceTimes. It’s been 3 weeks since that day I called on a break, today I decided it’s time to meet and talk things out.
He seemed sincere and genuine when we met, of course I couldn’t help but give him another chance. We were meeting for one week as if we were in love all over again and after that one week, we’re back together.
Daniel was in town and he wanted to meet up, I happily accepted his lunch invite and was looking forward to rekindling our friendship. Kylian was at training so I thought I’d get ready in the meantime until he was back.
“Ma chérie !” He called as he entered. “In the room, Ky !” I yelled. He came into the room and whistled behind me. “You look beautiful” he said as he placed a kiss on my neck. “Thank you babe” I blushed. “Where are you going ?” He asked as he walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “I’m going out for lunch with Daniel” I said casually. “Wait, what !” He asked as he stood up. “Why ? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t see him ?” He said as he changed his tone. I dropped my mascara on the counter and stood up, “Are you back to this nonsense where I can’t have guy friends ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Do you not know how the story goes about childhood guy friends falling for their girl friends ?” He stood up to stand arms length away from me. “No, Kylian ! That’s not how the story goes. Do you not know it takes two people to be in love which hello ? I’m obviously not.” I said as I started to grow angry. “(Y/N), you don’t know how a guys mind works” he said as he shut his eyes for a second. “Before I walk out of this relationship one more time, could you care to explain your reasoning behind why I can’t have guy friends ?” I raised a brow. His face softened when he heard me mention walking out.
“Babe please no . I’m sorry” he rushed over to me to hold my hands in his. I pulled my hands away from his grip, “Explain Kylian…I can’t continue entertaining this.” He sighed and dropped his head before mustering up the courage. “I have trust issues because of my ex” he admitted. I was shocked. “Well, what happened ?” I asked curiously.
“I trusted her and was never one to question anything she did until I found out she cheated on me with those guys she called her friends. Soo…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. It’s been hard for me to accept having trust. It’s not you babe, I promise I trust you, I just fear that your guy friends will convince you to leave me and walk away from our relationship. I can’t bare losing you, not again after the break” he said as he got emo. “Aww Ky” I pouted as I pulled him in for a hug. We never left each others embrace for a few minutes until Kylian broke away to kiss my forehead.
“I’m glad I got that off my chest. You deserved to know. I love you so much and I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better boyfriend for you after our break so please be patient with me” he pouted. “I get it now. Thank you for being honest babe” I gave him a quick peck on his lips. “You can go out with Daniel, I won’t stop you any longer” he sighed. “Look, as your girlfriend, I want to help you through this. Remember Daniel suggested you guys going out ? Well why don’t you join us, I’ll send him a message and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. That way you have an idea of what Daniel is like and you have a peace of mind. Also, it’s not just about trusting Daniel, I would like if you and Daniel could be friends. I mean the man is practically family” I half laughed before sending a message to Daniel. “Shame I feel bad now for hating on the guy” he sighed. “Well what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I winked then sent the message.
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blackmoonlightexpress · 10 months
Text
Luo Yunxi Appreciation Master Post: How can someone be so multi-talented?!
In case you did not already know, here are LYX's many talents. It's insane how many different things he can do at a near-professional level beyond acting!
1. Dance/Ballet
LYX graduated from the Shanghai Theatre Academy majoring in ballet with over 11 years of professional experience.
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This is him doing 13+ pirouettes in a performance of Tchaikovsky Rhapsody (full video, he's on the right)
Interpret dance solo (燃烧的火苗) where he won the first gold ever for STA (video, news)
Swan Lake solo at the Taoli Cup Dance Competition in high school (video)
Modern dancing solo (黑白影画) at his graduation performance (video, he's the only guy in white)
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He also taught at the Macao Conservatory for a year and danced in front of national leaders in Flying to the Moon (奔月) at the Macao 10th Handover Anniversary (video)
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He's super flexible and has a strong core (despite being naturally thin)
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In response to request from fans, he performed the Black Moonlight dance in a now viral video on Douyin.
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2. Wuxia / Posture
LYX is known as one of the best actors working today for wire work - you can see him here doing 3 consecutive jumps 2-3 stories above ground (compilation videos 1, 2)
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He does a lot of his own stunts and is often better (i.e. more graceful) than his stunt double, even though it's really risky and he's sustained some serious injuries from being dropped accidentally (And the Winner is Love: B roll video, actual scene, other BTS, other fight scenes)
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He moves with elegance, not just in action sequences (Ashes of Love fight compilation 1, 2), but people have made video compilations of how he walks, kneels, works his sleeves and train
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Of course, it's thanks to his dance foundation, but he also puts a lot of hard work into stunt training. Not something a lot of actors do because it eats up time to make more TV or go on variety shows (Ashes of Love stunt training, BTS)
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3. Diving
He played a diver once in Flip in Summer (夏日心跳) and actually learned to dive... I mean he's no Tom Daley but this looks pretty good for an amateur... (full video)
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4. Voice Acting
He’s always dubbed himself since circa 2018 (with the exception of And the Winner is Love due to Covid logistics issues), which is not the norm in Chinese drama (Ashes of Love dubbing BTS). In fact, he is sometimes the only person in the cast to use his original voice (e.g. in Princess Silver)
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He also lends his voice to animations - he was the voice of Viktor in Arcane (BTS video), which received positive feedback (most people didn't realize he was not a professional voice actor)
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He appears as a judge and live dubbing performer in Voice Monster alongside the top voice actors in China, Bian Jiang (aka voice of Yehua in Eternal Love, Nan Wangj in the Untamed) and Zhang Jie (aka voice of Donghua in Eternal Love, Sifeng in Love & Redemption). He has so much respect to those working behind the scenes, and it really shows (full video)
5. Singing
Some of you may know that he started out in a boy band called JL with Fu Longfei - these videos didn't age well, but here you go: JL (MV), 我们 (MV)
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He has released a number of solo singles, including 缘起 (MV), 星星之火 (live), 不是我 (MV), 等风停 (MV). and 勇 (soundtrack), which he composed and wrote the lyrics himself (these are all mando-pop ballads if that's your jam)
He performed Big Fish 大鱼 at Tmall's 11/11 Festival (live video) - while his rendition is not as powerful as the original, he can hit really high notes with an impressive falsetto - I think it goes up to G5 (one octave above middle C)
He performed Pipa Xing (琵琶行) at the Douyin Festival (live video) - the notable part is his Peking Opera style singing at the end
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He occasionally releases covers of songs on Chinese karaoke app Changba or Douyin: 要不然我们就这样一万年 (youtube), 黑月光 (youtube), 不染 (youtube), 山水又一程 (youtube)
He can also sing in other languages, including 喜欢你 in Cantonese (recording) - it's actually a very good cover and his Cantonese pronunciation is >95% accurate - there are parts where you can't tell he's not a native speaker.
6. Musical Instruments
He's an accomplished classically-trained pianist, which you can see in...
JL MV (video, starting around 3:30 mark) - don't mind the makeup, it's from ages ago
Mr Mossie season 2 (video)
Love is Sweet (BTS video) - impromptu jazz, he was deciding which song to play
Fan thank you recording (video)
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He also plays the guitar, though probably at an amateur level
7. Music Gaming
During college he was obsessed with this music game called O2Jam (劲乐团) to the point where he created new tracks (i.e. arrange/compose the music) for the company under the username Dinoroy (explained by himself here, videos of him playing).
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He became well-known within the fan community as the legendary D神 (D God). There are a lot of funny comments from old players saying that they thought D God is a bitter middle-aged recluse trying to screw them over with difficult tracks (read comments here).
D God was so prolific and reliable that gaming company accepted his submissions without review. Here are some of his best tracks - game arrangement only (Lydia, Croatian Rhapsody, Digital Emotions), music & game arrangement (黑暗魅影), original composition (光之乐章)
8. League of Legends
He's an LOL super fan, commentator, and player since season 2, went to see worlds in person twice, and was a cast member in a gaming show called Beyond It! Hero (episodes here)
He played the 2018 All-Star Event in Las Vegas teaming with reigning world champion Rookie and delivered the final blow that beat the other team 2:1 (video)
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He got a quadra kill at a celebrity mobile game even though his team was crap (video clip)
He co-invested 1M RMB in a team led by Misaya 若风 - you can see them playing together in a live broadcast of the mobile game (video)
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Update: Our longtime fan boy has become spokesperson of League of Legends and official commentator at the Asian Games 2023 in Hangzhou! The love is reciprocated!
9. Calligraphy/Drawing/Culture
LYX is known for his Chinese handwriting (he practices regularly) - there's even a font based on his handwriting called 汉仪罗云熙体 (download here)
He does all his own handwriting for marketing materials (e.g. Immortality below) and doesn't need a hand double for scenes where his character is practicing ancient Chinese calligraphy
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He's also got amazing drawing skills - check out the Queen of the Night 昙花 he drew as Runyu while waiting around on set in between takes (video)
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While he doesn't go on a lot of variety shows, he's often a guest on cultural programs, like the beauty of Chinese Calligraphy 书法之美 (video), Chinese Fans in 指尖上的非遗 (video)
His self-produced Mr. Mossie covers a lot of cultural topics (seasons 1, 2, 3), the segment on Hanfu was featured in the UNESCO Chinese Language Video Festival (video)
10. Photography
Luo Yunxi is often seen taking photos on set with his top-of-the-line Leica camera. Here are some of the photos he has shared:
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646 notes · View notes
wangxianficrecs · 14 days
Text
💙 Caught in 4k by KizuKatana
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🔒💙 Caught in 4k
by KizuKatana (@kizukatana)
E, Series, WIP, 184k, Wangxian
Summary: A night-hunt goes wrong, and Wei Wuxian is scapegoated for the death of the Jiang Sect Leader and the destroyed core of the Jiang Sect Heir. As punishment, his core is taken and given to Jiang Cheng, and he is stripped of his cultivation credentials and expelled from the sect. What everyone forgot was that Wei Wuxian was wearing the standard issue body camera that each cultivator wore on training missions and high-risk night-hunts. Struggling to make ends meet, Wei Wuxian finds his way to Caiyi Town with the doctor who performed the surgery, a partial core still secretly in place. His application to work at Cloud Recesses is summarily rejected by the hard-edged Second Jade of Lan after an unfortunate initial encounter. But things change when someone hacks into the Jiang systems and releases the footage of what happened. Kay's comments: The series is still a WIP, but the main story is complete! I am so weak for Kizu's modern AUs with cultivation, they are great. Especially the world building and how the cultivation society might function in a modern AU shines in this story. Definitely not a story for fans of the Jiang family, but a story for everyone who wants to see some retribution for the things Wei Wuxian went through. Here, Jiang Fengmian dies during a night-hunt accident where Jiang Cheng's golden core gets destroyed and Madam Yu makes Wei Wuxian give his golden core to him, unfortunately for her, his body-cam is still filming everything. Wei Wuxian finds himself taken in by Wen Qing and her family and we get the sweetest found family and Dadxian vibes here and then meets Lan Wangji as well, who's highly judgemental at first but soon finds himself drawn to Wei Wuxian as well. This story really got it all, the drama, the horny, the softness, the restitution & humor. Excerpt: Still Wei Wuxian forced himself to at least try one last time. “You could also interview me. Have me talk to your best talisman experts,” Wei Wuxian said, forcing himself to keep the desperation out of his voice. “Interviews are scheduled based on receipt of proper credentials and references.” “I don’t have any, at least not right now. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be a great teacher.” “No references, no interview.” “Come on. Look, ask me anything about talismans. You’re an experienced cultivator, right? So you must know enough to at least interview me to see if I know what I’m talking about.” “Simply ‘knowing about something’ is not sufficient. Our lecturers are renown cultivators, and masters in their fields. No references, no interview.” Wei Wuxian felt frustration well up in him, especially at the reminder that Lan Wangji didn’t see him as a cultivator. No one would, in his current condition. Why would they? He didn’t have a functional core, which was the main scale against which all cultivation efforts were measured. He thought he had done a good job of not getting his hopes up about the teaching position, but the suffocating feeling constricting his chest was calling him out for being a liar. He should have known better. Why did he never learn? Some people had luck on their said, but Wei Wuxian had never been one of them. “Right. Of course. Because it would be impossible for someone who wasn’t born to the fucking clan nobility to ever actually be good at something, and the cost of taking the mastery test makes sure that other people can’t do it!” Lan Wangji’s lips parted slightly, like he might say something, but his expression was as opaque and emotionless as before. Wei Wuxian didn’t need to sit around and listen to him defend the clan system. “Good to know that the Lan are just the same as all the other sects,” Wei Wuxian continued, his lips twisting into a sarcastic smile. “Thanks for making that clear.”
pov alternating, modern setting, modern with magic, yu ziyuan being an asshole, dysfunctional jiang family, jiang family bashing, canon divergence, golden core reveal, burial mounds ensemble as family, golden core transfer, golden core transfer fix-it, top lan wangji/bottom wei wuxian, dual cultivation, strangers to lovers, misunderstandings, meet ugly, families of choice, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
139 notes · View notes
marlenesluv · 4 months
Text
Lovers to Strangers to Friends. (CL)
summary: Y/n and Charles have been an iconic paddock couple since 2019, everyone loves them, but what happens when a rumor spreads that Y/n is cheating? (ends in friendship, dw)
note: pls note that this smau does not end with y/n being with charles or any driver, it’s only angst lol
fc: greta gabriella kazaren
warnings: angst, cussing
masterlist here -> masterlist link
^ check my list for all posts! ^
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
twitter:
F1 Drama Blog @f1dramaa1 • 2hrs ago
This morning, we have some big F1 Wag need to cover for you guys. Let’s do some background for new fans here: Y/n Y/l/n and Charles Leclerc have been dating since 2019, that’s 4 years! Fans love them, they love how they bring out the best in each other and how Y/n always goes to races and is so kind with the fans! But we have bad news….
Last night, Y/n was seen in New York with none other than Jacob Elordi. We might have glossed over this, but she missed the Monaco Grand Prix to be with Jacob?? And, she wasn’t wearing the iconic necklace that Charles got her, one that she has said, “I will never take this off!”
Let’s not even get into how Y/n didn’t go to the last two Leclerc dinners…. things are suspicious, possibly cheating?
Comments have been turned off for respect of privacy for Charles! Please refrain from gossiping unless you know facts!
*comments have been disabled*
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Charles, you have got be joking?!” you said, following Charles out of his bedroom and to the living room as he had all of your bags packed when you got back to his house from New York.
“I’m not joking, Y/n. Get out. I cant do this.” he shook his head, your eyes filling with tears.
You knew that going to see Jacob last minute wasn’t the best idea, but you were there in order to plan a surprise for Charles, running into Jacob at the store was truly random. You weren’t a cheater either, in your last relationships, actually, you were the one being cheated on.
“You’re breaking up with me because of what Twitter says? This is ridiculous, Cha-“
“You don’t get to tell me what’s ridiculous. I mean, it makes sense! The random phone calls that you wont tell me who they are with? Leaving Monaco to go to New York randomly, also not telling me why. The last two family dinners?” Charles was mad, beyond mad, but he really didn’t need to be.
“The dinners? Oh, fuck you. You knows why I missed those. You seriously think that I can just call off work whenever you want me to? My work is unpredictable, I work late sometimes, I have clients that need things when they text or call, that’s how I get paid!”
“I could just pay for you-“
“No. No, no, no. You know this has been my dream job since I was little. Its not even about the money, it’s about me doing something I love. And you can’t support that. I have supported you during every race, Charles. I have always cancelled my plans to go to your races, yet you never even visit me at work! You wanna talk about our ‘issues’? Okay, here’s one: Why don’t you let me ever explain something before you get mad. Or, the fact that you think the world revolves around you? Or-“ he cut you off with a scoff.
You stared at him and grabbed your bags, “Fine, you want to just throw four years away over a fucking rumor, cool with me. Should have seen this coming.” You slammed his door and cried down the elevator to your car. This sucked, but at least you had a clean conscious since you did nothing wrong.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: isahernaez, lilymhe, and 527,043 others
y/n.user: moved in with my bsf this week! spain is beautiful ❤️‍🔥🇪🇸
view comments…
isahernaez: 🇪🇸❤️‍🔥
*liked by creator*
fpforcha: oh good, the cheater left
↳ f1fp8: right, cause we know for a fact that she did?
f1wags: aw :( even if she is now considered an ex wag, i will still love her posts. hope her and isa have fun
carmenmmundt: stunninggg!!! so happy you’re with isa, you guys will have sm fun
francisca.cgomes: pretty girls!!
user3: hate to see them broken up, but she is glowing
lewishamilton: have fun in spain!! 🇪🇸
↳ y/n.user: thank you lewis!
brocedes4: lewis picked his side of this divorce fr
f1gal9: i love how i came with carlos and charles, but i’m staying with isa and y/n
exwagsf1page: soo, do i start posting y/n now…
*liked by creator*
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
charles’ instagram story:
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seen by: arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 1,262,023 others
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
your instagram story:
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seen by: charles_leclerc, kellypiquet, and 587,017 others
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
text messages with charles:
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: lailahasanovic, logansargeant, and 538,119 others
tagged: isahernaez and aricason
y/n.user: protecting my peace with my girls, puzzles, and wine 🎀
view comments…
user2: awe, we all love you sm!! so glad you spoke out about the rumors
isahernaez: best trio of the decade
↳ aricason: century
↳ y/n.user: that ever existed
*liked by isahernaez and aricason*
logansargeant: miss doing puzzles together, glad you’re doing well in spain!
↳ y/n.user: come to spain!! i miss you and the puzzles
lsediits: logan + y/n still being friends is iconic
user6: ex wags are the bestttt, they slay (so do current ones dgmw)
f1fp81: angellllllll
lilymhe: miss you, pretty
↳ y/n.user: i miss you too!
user3: red wine >
y/nfp1: charles really dropped the ball with y/n
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Isa! Oh my god, you spilt the marinara-“ you laughed, gripping the island as Isa stared at the floor where she had just dropped the dish that was holding said marinara.
As Isa ran to the counter to grab paper towel, you took a picture of the pile of red sauce, still laughing as Isa ripped some paper towel off the roll.
Living with Isa was a blessing in disguise. The breakup was difficult, yes, and you’re sure it sucked for Charles as well, but now you were happier than you ever were.
You loved Charles, really, you did, but his constant lack of enthusiasm and support for your job was horrible. Being there for him all the time was never a question, sure, it was draining trying to make flights right after work, but you wanted to be there for him. But he was never there for you.
Moving in with Isa made you realize, fully, how much more you deserve. When you explained, in full detail, about how Charles’ behavior and the breakup, she was fuming. Cussing in spanish as she stomped around the house.
“Don’t laugh at me!” Isa said, as she continued to laugh and wipe up her mess, you joined her to clean as well.
“Sorry sorry. Be careful of the glass. I’ll grab the broom.” you got up, jogging over to the cleaning closet and grabbed the broom and pan, going back and cleaning up the glass.
Living with Isa was also messy, and chaotic, but you really wouldn’t trade it for the world.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, and 1,104,824 others
charles_leclerc: 📸
view comments…
f1wags: hmph 😒
cl16: photographer charles!
arthur_leclerc: ❤️
user7: okk…..
y/nsfp7: missing him and y/n together, but she’s better off
lorenzotl: photographer, pianist, and f1 driver
*liked by charles_leclerc*
ferrarifriends: love these pictures!
user3: ferrari men 🤝 being the biggest red flags 🚩
exwagsf1: miss y/n in these photos, but she seems happier, idkk
boomvroom11: these pictures are so cool!!!
joris_trouche: hes the photo man
*liked by charles_leclerc*
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
text messages with charles:
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
F1 News Article on Google:
Good Morning, Formula 1 Fans! Today, we have some coverage on Ex-Wag, Y/n Y/l/n, and F1 Driver, Charles Leclerc. If you are not interested in the Wag+Driver world, I would skip this article. Now, let’s debrief!
Charles and Y/n broke up about two months ago, both of them posted on their Instagram stories. Now, they still follow each other on Instagram, Twitter, and Tik Tok, so we know they have public ally remained friendly.
Yesterday, multiple fans have spotted and taken pictures of the broken up couple hanging out with Isa Hernáez, ex of Carlos Sainz, and Joris Trouche, friends with Charles and Y/n.
They were seen getting coffee at a local Madrid Cafe, then some shopping, and all seen getting in Charles’ Ferrari, Y/n in the passenger with Charles driving, Isa and Joris in the back.
We do not think this means the two will get back together, but seeing them as friends makes us all very happy, I’m sure.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: charles_leclerc, joris_trouche, and 612,024 others
tagged: isahernaez, charles_leclerc, joris_trouche
y/n.user: double date night (me+isa and joris+cha)
view comments…
f1wags: isa and y/n=power couple (deadass)
charles_leclerc: had so much fun!!
↳ joris_trouche: i did too!!
↳ isahernaez: cutest couple ever the two of you!
↳ charles_leclerc: 😒
↳ y/n.user: so true, isa!!!
user3: this actually healed my heart :’)
ferraripics7: loveeee thissssss
dr3edits: i thought they broke up!?
↳ f1wags: they did!! they are friends tho!
↳ dr3edits: ohh ok ty!
lilymhe: cutest
↳ y/n.user: you are
user8: logan rn: 🧍
↳ f1fans: her and logan hung out a few weeks ago and did a live stream on insta LOL
y/nfp123: ICONNNNN
user1: so glad they are friends now!!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
353 notes · View notes
xzaddyzanakinx · 21 days
Note
Thoughts on Anakin being with someone else that also has bpd?
Disaster Zone: domestic violence, abuse
He would both love and hate that his partner was clingy. He wouldn’t feel abandoned or worried they’d leave. He would feel suffocated. He would feel like they have ulterior motives because there’s no way someone could love as big as he can love.
He would be paranoid that it’s all a sinister plot to destroy him, break his heart and ruin his image.
He’d try to be rational. He’d try to appreciate that you’re practically glued to his hip. He’d shove down the feeling of being trapped and recategorize it as a bear hug of love (that keeps getting tighter and tighter until you’ll squeeze his head off). He’d attempt to be understanding, after all who better to understand your behaviors? He’s the BPD king.
He’s so conflicted because all he’s ever wanted was to be loved deeply, cherished, held close to someone’s heart. But now that he’s actually got that? He misses being horrifically lonely. He misses the drama of fighting for love. It doesn’t feel real because he doesn’t have to work for it.
He’d start to have episodes over little things to avoid the bigger issue.
You’re chewing too loud?
‘Can you shut your goddamn mouth? God that’s disgusting.’ He’d say as he shoves your plate away from you.
You’re wearing something that he used to love seeing you in, but now it just reminds him of before. Before he started to doubt you.
‘You still have that?’ He scoffs. ‘No I don’t like it, it makes you look fat. Take it off, go change. I’m not going out with you looking like that.’
You promised him spaghetti but realized too late that you only have bow-tie pasta?
He walked into the kitchen, sliding an arm around your waist to hug you while you stand at the stove.
‘What’s that? That’s not what I asked for.’ He said annoyedly.
‘We didn’t have the right noodles Ani.’ You’d snap back.
‘You could’ve called me. I drove right past the dollar store.’ He released your waist and moved you away from the stove with a careless shove.
‘It’s still pasta! I didn’t think it’d be a big deal!’ You scowled, crossing your arms, your face heating up as your sadness bubbles into anger. ‘What the fuck is your problem lately?’
‘Well it is a big deal because it’s NOT WHAT I FUCKING ASKED FOR!’ He turned around holding up the wooden spoon you had been using to stir with. ‘You never listen to me. How hard is it to listen? What do I have to do, huh?’ He jerked toward you like he was going to bring the spoon down across your face.
‘Go on, I’ll finish this.’ He growled, lowering the spoon and turning around to finish up dinner.
As you walked away you thought you heard: ‘stupid bitch.’ Muttered under his breath.
You asked him what he was doing?
Anakin had just gotten home an hour ago, took a shower, changed into some sweatpants sans tshirt and he had his half empty cigarette pack in his hand, rhythmically tapping the pack against the counter top while he search the junk drawer for a lighter.
‘What’re you doing?’ you asked with a laugh.
‘What’s it look like?’ He grumbled. ‘Someone keeps moving my shit around.’ He turned to shoot a quick glare over his shoulder at you.
‘What? I never touch your smokes.’ You scoffed, a puzzled look on your face. ‘Did you check your work jacket?’
‘Did I check- yes! Yes I fucking checked it, I’m not an idiot.’ He snapped, finally finding a spare lighter, he turned on his heel and pointed it toward you. ‘Go find it. I know you moved it, it’s cause you don’t like when I smoke inside isn’t it?’
‘No!’ You stood up and went over to his work jacket and fished around in the pockets, finding it almost immediately you held it up and shook it at him. ‘I don’t care that you smoke inside! Jesus, here!’ You tossed it at him.
‘You did that on purpose!’ He caught the lighter as it smacked his chest. ‘You just wanted to make me feel stupid.’ He sneered, turning around to go out to the back deck to smoke instead of sitting in his recliner.
You returned to your spot on the couch and mumbled something he didn’t quite catch.
‘You back talking me?’ He snorted, whipping his arm out to the side to chuck the extra lighter at the back of your head.
He’d be so happy initially, then all those feelings and insecurities would eat him up inside until it was a blow up so massive that the cops get called by the neighbors.
You slipped into bed for the night next to Anakin, he scooted over to let you have your extra room to sprawl out in. He’d already turned on the show you two had been watched recently so he laid the remote on his chest and slipped his arm under your head to get comfy.
You on the other hand, couldn’t get comfortable. It was hot, the fan was on but wasn’t on the right setting. The blankets were too hot so you kicked them off, but it left your feet cold. Anakin laughed at your struggle to get cozy and you smacked his arm lightly, playfully. But he didn’t seem to think it was funny. His laughter died down and his jaw clenched tightly.
Finally you’d settled down and Anakin had begun to drift off to sleep, when you shifted again, pulling yourself against his chest and nuzzling against him.
‘Jesus.’ He scoffed, pushing you off of him, he stood up and yanked his pillow out from underneath your head.
‘What’s wrong? Where are you going?’ You asked, concern and confusion lacing your tone.
‘Shut up.’ He grumbled as he walked to the bedroom door.
‘Wh- did you just tell me to-‘
‘Yeah I did.’ He snapped, his hand on the bedroom door. ‘So shut your damn mouth. I don’t want to hear it. You’re grating on my last nerve.’
‘What? Why? What did I do?’ Your rapid fire questions only serving to cause yourself panic and pour lighter fluid on his flame of anger.
‘Everything!’ He yelled, ‘everything! Everything you do pisses me off! Just shut the hell up and leave me alone!’
‘I’m sick of you! Never a moment of peace! You’re always hanging off me like some sad little bitch baby.’ He snarled, ‘so damn clingy! I can’t even go sleep on the couch without it being a goddamn interrogation!’
He whipped the bedroom door open and stormed out with you following close behind him, you grabbed the pillow and tore it out of his hand.
‘You’re not sleeping on the couch! Just talk to me! Tell me what-‘
You couldn’t finish your sentence before he swung around and connected his knuckles to your cheek, a sickening *thunk* rang out as the shock out what he’d just done settled in.
Pls don’t hate me for this, I know that no one wants to think of Ani as being abusive, I also know that some people will be offended that I’ve used BPD in correlation with domestic violence. But to be perfectly clear!!! I have BPD and I 100% believe that this and worse would happen in an Ani x BPD reader situation.
110 notes · View notes
kingconia · 8 months
Note
hi! are your requests open (feel free to delete this ask if not)? i love ur writing style! i’d like to request hcs of leona with an s/o who gets sick easily.. like if it’s cold, they’re sick but if it’s hot they’re also sick. my immune system is weak irl and i’d love to see this written (only if u can tho!!)
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR WITH S/O, WHO GETS SICK EASILY
— Leona grew up around beastmen, and other specific creatures, who rarely get sick, thanks to their strong immune system. So, when Leona notices how often you catch cold, he is absolutely confused;
— He is not even sure how it happens? Leona always makes sure to wrap some additional clothes around you, when it is chilly outside, and yet, you wake up with temperature as you cough your lungs out;
— You explain that it is natural for you, something that had been happening in your previous life too, and that yours immune system is that weak. Leona still having a hard time to proceed this fact;
— When winter ends, bringing back a warm and familiar to him weather, Leona relaxes. Surely, you are not going to fall sick in the spring, right? Right?!
— He is wrong. And desperate;
— The fact that you yourself don't even pay attention to your state, irritates him even more. What do you mean that's normal?! You can die! (He is such a drama queen, but isn't that sweet?);
— When Leona brings you to the Afterglow Savanna, thinking that there you will be safe here from any kind of diseases, and you still manage to lay down with temperature, Leona gives up;
— Or not really? He still thinks that, perhaps, there is some potion to fix the problem! And he is sure about being able to figure it out, sooner or later;
— But for now, Leona can take care of you! His laziness means nothing, when it is a question of your health;
— He can easily feed you, bring you medicine, and generally sit with you, when you are feeling weaker than usual. And if you sleep a lot, when you are ill, it is a perfect bonus!
— Leona will never admit, but he secretly likes being able to pamper you so much. A proud lion taking care of his great lioness!
”...Leona?”
”Hm-m?”
You open your mouth, but close it again, when you meet these emerald eyes of his.
There is a question you are meaning to ask him for a while, but all your attempts fail. Either because you get too nervous about to this topic, or because Leona distracts you effectively.
”Well?” He raises his eyebrows. ”Spit it out, herbivore.”
You scrunch your nose, watching him to put more meat on your plate. Leona seriously needs to stop calling ’herbivore’, when all he does it feeds you with meat...
”Don't you get annoyed?”
”I am always annoyed,” he chuckles with unhidden amusement.
”No way,” you roll your eyes. ”I mean... Don't you get annoyed that I am sick all the time? It is not fun to have me around, you know.”
Well, it is not like you are chained to the bed on the daily basis, of course! There are always weeks, when you have no troubles in paradise at all; much like right now. Yet, it still bothers you.
”And I am the fun to have around?” Leona huffs.
You shrug.
It is Leona. He might have a specific character—and a streak for angry issues—but deep inside, he is truly nice and comforting person. And, funny. Especially, when he mocks the headmaster.
“Oi, herbivore, are you serious?” He blinks, a genuine surprise paints his face for a second, before he sighs. ”Where it comes from?”
Well, it is only natural to be plugged by these thoughts. That is how things worked in your previous worlds, after all. You were troublesome in eyes of others—and your own—and even kind jokes from your friends about this matter, made you feel bad about yourself.
”Listen,” Leona frowns. ”I am not annoyed. What about I should be annoyed? It is how your immune system works, that's it.”
”Yeah, but,” you gesture vaguely in the air, ”I am not really a sport person, so we can't share some quality time together. And I even caught the fly, when we were in Savanna. Which was extremely embarrassing, by the way. And—”
Leona catches your hand in his, letting out another exasperated sigh. You instantly cut your speech, carefully starting to study an expression on his face.
”Tch. First of all, we have chess matches—that what am I calling a good quality time,” of course, he does. He wins all the time. ”Secondly... Yeah, of course, I was freaking out, when you got sick in Savanna—I mean, had you seen the fucking weather here?—but, you gave me a mighty excuse not only to skip meetings with Falena, but also sit without Cheka for a while. If it wasn't fun for you, sorry. But it was the best holidays in my life.”
You scoff.
Prince Cheka wasn't allowed in your chambers back then, his mother being worried that he might catch cold from you. And Leona seemed indeed happy by that...
”You are such an ass—”
”I am acting irritated sometimes,” he continues, ignoring your remark. ”But, I am not mad at you. If anything, I am just frustrated about how useless I am.”
Ah, what a sweetheart.
Your faces softens instantly, and your hand grips his tightly.
”...I love you.”
”Yeah, just no need to thank me. You are a perfect justification for missing classes, you know?”
...Nevermind.
”Leona, fuck o... Achoo!”
His lips curl in a smirk.
”Oh, seems like I am about to miss housewardens' meeting. Again. What a shame.”
You hate Leona sometimes. You really do.
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gnwookieee · 1 year
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: zb1 moments of intimacy !
genre : fluff
pairing : zb1 member’s (gn!) reader
📁🖇️ : hello! hope everyone is doing okay <3
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김지웅 // kim jiwoong
talking
when you and jiwoong started dating, he insisted that no matter the time you were welcome to text/call him with any issues you had
after that you frequently did, if something was on your mind you knew your boyfriend was happy to listen to you
this applied for both late night texts but also in person conversations
jiwoong was the best listener you knew, he patiently sat there waiting for you finish the information you were telling him
he wants to know your worries about the future and your hopes (especially if he is mentioned in this ideal future you have)
or the sad ending to a drama you had just watched and needed to tell someone about, jiwoong is there
if you needed advice that is what he would give you, if you just needed someone to listen then he can do that too
in return he knew he could do the same, you would always be the first to know what is on his mind
his trust in you meant he asked for your advice a lot
you and jiwoong shared moments of emotional intimacy, letting each other know about thoughts and emotions
장하오 // zhang hao
physical affection
hao is a very affectionate person to the people he is close to and feels comfortable with
wouldn’t have guessed this before you two were dating
but now it is obvious that hao enjoys physical affection
likes when you trace lines connecting his beauty marks, from underneath his eye, along his jaw and finally to the one just next to his ear
definitely does the exact same thing if you have beauty marks
always has your hand in his or his arm around your body
loves anytime your hands are touching him, could be holding hands or when you cup his cheeks in your hands before kissing him
kisses. any type of kisses. he loves them all
hao definitely enjoys physical intimacy in moments like this
성한빈 // sung hanbin
quality time
any moment he isn’t with his members, he wants to spend it with you, granted it isn’t a lot
often feels guilty that he can’t spend as much time with you as a ‘normal’ boyfriend would
plans dates, he loves going out with you, especially if the weather is nice
picnics, long walks, going to see the cherry blossoms in spring etc
also when one of you is tired he loves spending some quiet time with you, cuddles while you drift into sleep
tries really hard to plan his schedule so he can spend time with you
absolutely melts if you have the opportunity to surprise him at the studio
sometimes if his schedule is too busy, he resorts to night time dates, loves taking you out for late night drives or having a sleepover
will insist the most boring thing is fun as long as he is doing it with you
석매튜 // seok matthew
sharing clothes
matthew started it by always leaving an article of clothing at your place after spending the night
his hoodies and t-shirts, in the hopes that he will see you casually wearing it the next time he sees you 
but soon you also started to do the same
and matthew would love wearing the oversized pieces of clothing you left in his possession
both of you find comfort in the pieces that still have the scent of the others’ perfume, body wash and washing detergent
both of you returning the items when they start to lose their owner’s scent
however, it didn’t just stop with clothing
matthew and you often would share pieces of jewellery and other accessories
bracelets, necklaces, sunglasses, hats etc
finds the intimacy of sharing basically the same wardrobe at this point cute
김태래 // kim taerae
cuddles
loves all kinds of hugs, enjoys the warmth and comfort of them
especially when he is drifting off to sleep, you are his personal teddy bear
waking up slowly and still being entangled with each other makes him hate that he has to leave
likes walking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your middle, places his head on your shoulder or rests it on top of your head
or front hugs where your head can fit into the dip of his neck
feels the tip of your nose against his skin and the soft breathes you take as you inhale and exhale
but his favourite hugs are when you haven’t seen each other for a few days, his excitement at being reunited results in the tightest of hugs where your ribs feel slightly squished but you feel safe
he really expresses his love through his hugs, shows you how much he cares for you
리키 // ricky
kisses
this man requires a lot of kisses
he loves expressing himself through kissing you, sometimes he can’t find the words he wants to say so he says it through a kiss instead
early morning when his brain hasn’t properly started functioning to talk, he places soft, small kisses to your lips as a good morning
as i said in a previous post, he loves seeing the effet he has on you, watching how his kisses make you flustered
if he is proud of you, he gives you a kiss
if he is feeling a little protective, he kisses you
if he is exhausted, he wants nothing more than to kiss you and fall asleep next to you
the ultimate punishment for him would be if you avoided giving him any kisses
can you imagine the pout he would give you
김규빈 // kim gyuvin
trying new things together
likes sharing new experiences together
will always remember the memory of your time together when he sees a certain type of food you shared
or a place is mentioned that you two visited together
dates to the beach, new cafes, cooking new meals together, listening to a new song
will get very pouty if he finds out you had already been to the place he takes you
complies it won’t be as special or meaningful
tries to encourage you both to start a new hobby together
sometimes this is successful and other times not so much, like when he insisted you both would be great at skating…
likes you two to have fun when together
buys a Polaroid camera to take photos when your together, enjoys capturing the memories you two make
박건욱 // park gunwook
deep conversations
gunwook loves longer, more meaningful conversations
likes knowing your opinions and thoughts on political and cultural ideas
knows not everyone enjoys it as much as he does so he really loves that you are happy for him to rant about philosophy
deep conversations late at night, you both will be sat in bed and he will wrap blankets around the both of you
makes it very comfortable, letting you know your words are completely safe and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed to speak your mind with him
ask each other about your worries and the things you think about before falling asleep
deep conversations really allow you to get to know each other better, because of them you know each other better than anyone else
한유진 // han yujin
hugs
still being so young, sharing hugs with someone other than a family member or a close friend feels incredibly intimate
never awkward with hugs, he likes fully wrapping his arms around you, rests his head on top of yours
maybe even closes his eyes, fully enjoying the warmth of the hug
if you’re sad, he gives you a hug
if he is sad, he wants you to give him a hug
hugs when one of you is sad are filled with soft whispers of comforting words, stroking the other’s hair and nuzzling your nose into their neck
excited hugs are also a thing with yujin, if you surprise him while he is at the company or if you tell him some good news
squeezes you tight and bounces up and down with you still in his arms
you two definitely share a lot of hugs, sees any opportunity as a chance to give you one
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astonmartingf · 1 month
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REAL LIFE RELATIONS — BREAKING NEWS
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mick schumacher x reader x liam lawson
series summary— the world of motorsports is vast, yet it is also very limiting. like an intricate web of relationships, connections can get you everywhere, and underneath the pinnacle of motorsports are the secrets waiting to be unfolded.
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OPENING — SCARY AS HELL BUT I LOVE THE THRILL OF IT
drama seems to follow you around— after a long time of hiding the paddock puts the pieces together about your true identity.
warnings: mommy and daddy issues, toxic family dynamics, there's a bit of mystery going around so there's that
masterlist ★ next
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If you had to choose between going to a family dinner with your forsaken father and stepmother of the decade or jump out the window from your apartment, hop in a hot blondie's motorcycle and run away for the rest of the evening, you'd choose none and hide in your friend's apartment.
Your reason? The family dinner is a farce you didn't have time to deal with, while the motorcycle sounds promising, said hot blondie gets attached too quickly for your own liking. And you didn't like to get tied down.
Why is it that you're so bent on "running away"?
Simple.
If given the chance to annoy your deadbeat of a father and overbearing stepmother, would you do it? You would.
And that's where hot blondie comes into the equation— he's just convenient. Especially when you learned to wrap him all over your fingers. Yuki would be disappointed in you, both at the fact that he knows how much you'd rather stay up holed in his crib, and how you're manipulating hot blondie.
If you're so hell bent on not going, why not just go with hot blondie? The predicament you're in is— you're already stuck in the family dinner.
Stopping the urge to roll your eyes, you watch them make small talk about their day. Your father is watching your stepmother with honey dripping his eyes, further reminding you of the hot blondie's invitation.
A "get out of jail for free" card he says. This wasn't your personal cell, rather it felt like a personal hell. There are a hundred other things you'd rather do, in fact you'd rather babysit your step siblings and connect with them, but no— insisting that you come with them and catch up.
Catch up?
What is this dodgeball? Because that would be fairly entertaining, you chuckle imagining yourself throwing it in between them to catch. There's no need to catch up, not with the guards they hired to keep you in check.
A headache they said, you don't mind your father calling you nicknames knowing he has given up on you decades ago. If only your stepmother would stop being so relentless in building back your relationship with your father.
Some things aren't worth fixing— your relationship with him is one of them.
Your eyes wander around the restaurant, watching people come and go under the windy London weather. The glint of a familiar helmet caught the corner of your eyes.
A few feet away from the window of the restaurant, you see hot blondie's motorcycle lights blink, calling your attention, lulling you away from your meal. You'd give it to him though, his persistence beginning to change the train of thoughts in your head. Smirking to yourself, you halt in playing with your food, taking a few bites planning the next steps to your escape.
Placing your fork down, you wipe your mouth using the napkin. "Excuse me, I'll use the powder room for a moment."
Your father grunts, nodding his head towards the bathroom, you smile courteously fighting the urge to do anything that could trigger your father's outbursts.
You weren't tiptoeing around him per say, it's more that you'd rather keep him calm and at peace in public knowing very well that your next action might burst a vessel in his frontal lobe.
Reapplying your lipstick, you clean the edges adding finishing touches before making a beeline to the back door, to meet hot blondie where he'll be waiting and save her escape the jail that is disguised–
"Going somewhere?" The voice of your stepmother causes you to freeze. Shit. She's learning much more quickly than your father.
Slowly turning around you and putting another facade in front of her, as much as you tried to hate your stepmother, she cared for you if not more than your father ever did. But caring is not enough, not at least for you. It's not an excuse to let your father continue doing what he does the best.
If comparison is a thief of joy— then they're both thieving the joy out of you. Your father for his usual antics, and for your stepmother, whose presence only reminded you of what you'll never have.
Your silence throws your stepmother off, surely by now you'd have spoken a string of curses towards her. But this time you're silent, you learned the hard way.
In a series of unfortunate events the universe keeps shoving at you, you end up causing a scene in a restaurant, which ends up with you getting grounded. One that wasn't even your fault to begin with, but your father is not a man of reason, not that he was ever a man to you. All you could see was a weak man, with a bruised ego, who is a deadbeat of a father to you.
And it hurts more seeing him playing family with your stepmother and step-siblings knowing fully well you'll never get the same affection from him. He often looked at you like scum on his feet, the lowest of lows. Which is why you knew that you couldn't act in front of your stepmother like that, not when she's the only thing holding your family together— or at least she's trying.
"You don't have to say anything. I saw his motorcycle move to the back of the restaurant, is that how you've been leaving events and galas without us?"
You raise your brow at her statement, clearly avoiding conversation. One thing you like about your stepmother is her astute perception, at some point you found yourself enjoying her company more than your father's.
But she doesn't have to know that, and your stepmother knows her boundaries, if she wanted to keep this relationship civil, she'd walk away without saying a word.
"I'll talk to your father about it, you're free to go."
You turn your heels walking away from her, scoffing— she always has to be the hero, the good guy, and because she lets you leave, you owe her one.
Grabbing the helmet presented in front of you the moment you open the back door, you slide into the back of the hot blondie's motorcycle. Arms around his waist, you close your eyes, the sounds of the engine revving up accompanied by the goosebumps glittering around you as the cold London weather lingers atop your skin.
Relish in the moment, you keep your eyes closed, pressing your body closer to his for warmth, as your bodies cut through the wind. It was your escape.
He was your escape.
"Feeling better?" The blonde asks, grabbing the helmet from your hands as you settle in a park near the river. The weather is not as cold as you thought in comparison back to when you were in the motorcycle.
"I know you don't want to hear this, but-" You roll your eyes, scoffing at his words. One thing or another at least you know you don't have to hide in front of him, not that you are being truthful to him as well, but blondie doesn't need to know anything. As long as he's catching up on the important bits and pieces, there are still lines they don't cross.
Lines that you won't let him cross.
"Then don't. If I wanted to talk to him I could've chosen to stay in that damn dinner, but guess what I'm here with you aren't I? Or is this interrogation a part of the "get out of jail for free " card?"
The blonde male raises his hands in surrender, dropping his jacket on your legs before situating himself next to you.
"Don't you think it's better for you to stay in the restaurant."
Flabbergasted, you turn around raising your brows. "I mean look at you in that fancy outfit, it's probably 8 degrees out here, isn't it much warmer there? And with food, sure the company isn't as lovely as you want to be..."
Your eyes squint, watching him intently, "For someone so adamant about me leaving the restaurant you keep saying contradicting things. Is this a test? I want to be here, I think I am capable of choosing what I want to do blondie."
Shaking his head, he chuckles at the mention of the nickname you coined a few years back. "You've got to stop calling me that."
"It stuck around with you, I'll never stop calling you blondie."
A sigh escapes your lips, thinking back on your memories together. Life was easier then, young, naive, full of life, and free from the sins that follow the controversy of your family.
Not that anyone else knew, they worked hard to keep it out of the news, now they're just whispers, fragments of the reality. Even to you, it's all a mystery.
Somehow they couldn't keep you away from the paddock, despite all the talk and hearsay about what actually happened you chose to stay and that's all because of blondie.
You're a ghost from the past— each day as you live, a piece of you slowly gets taken away. Forced to hide away from the world you didn't choose to live in.
"Heavy thoughts there... come back down?" You blink, facing the blonde beside you, your stomach growling.
"Let's go eat somewhere before you drop me off."
In an instant, the blonde stands up wiping his hands clean before hoisting you up from the grass.
"You want fries?"
Your eyes dilate, nodding your head excitedly grabbing on eof the helmets, putting it on the blonde males pushing him to start the motorcycle.
"And tacos." You mumble under the helmet causing the blonde to laugh at your antics.
"And tacos, here we go."
His voice infecting yours illiciting a laugh from your lips. He has that effect on you.
Which is why you'd never let him cross that line, what you have with each other— no one can take. Not even your father.
Which is someone you'll have to deal with once you get home, hopefully stepmother dearest has done her best to placate his anger. You didn't want to deal with any more bullshit as is.
But a funny thing about being under the scrutiny of the spotlight is that no matter how hard you try and hide, someone is always lingering around, poking and prodding, waiting for you to fuck up and shit yourself.
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amgf ★ superstars @woozarts @minkyungseokie @iienstein @eugene-emt-roe
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mixelation · 2 months
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on sakura in reborn au
i was considering team 7 dynamics and going into it, minato & kakashi both assume the issues will be a sasuke-naruto thing. they annoy each other, and naruto considers sasuke a romantic rival and will actively pick fights with him, and sasuke is ready and willing to escalate those fights. minato & kakashi knows naruto likes sakura and sakura likes sasuke (because naruto won't shut up about it), but i don't think they've considered sakura's role in the dynamic beyond "idk, maybe she'll act weird around him"
i think a lot of sakura's canon annoyances with naruto were organic (as in, she just found him annoying, regardless of any social cues about how he was Bad News she was additionally picking up). aside from that one awful comment she made to sasuke, the only times we see sakura being "mean" to naruto are after he's been obnoxious to/around her. she tells him off for trying to prank kakashi because she's a teacher's pet, but she ALSO privately thinks this is funny. we also see multiple instances in part 1 of her actively trying to protect him. in the manga, she tackles naruto out of the way to save him from zabuza. she is ready and willing to tank her own promotion to chunin and sasuke's in order to protect naruto's dream of being hokage (she's told they can't retake the chunin exams if they fail the written test, but they CAN retake if they drop out, and even though she's confident she will pass, she starts to raise her hand to drop out so NARUTO will get a second shot). she gets beat up in the forest of death trying to protect naruto (and sasuke) and then afterwards attempts to protect naruto emotionally by telling him she cut her hair because she "felt like a change" and not explaining what happened (i don't think not telling him is a good call, but i do think she did it because she wanted to protect him). i think her awful comment about naruto not having parents was maybe something she felt was socially normal/acceptable to say because everyone did hate naruto, which was why she thoughtlessly blabbed it to sasuke. she'd maybe even heard other people saying similar things and thought this was just how she's supposed to think about him. but i don't think she ever truly hated him; she just found him kind of annoying
the point of all this is that i don't think sakura dislikes naruto the way some people write her to. but she doesn't like him hitting on her, and she doesn't like when he does crude stuff around her.
so, given that, now imagine a situation where there's not random society-wide shunning of naruto. he's still loud and obnoxious, so i think sakura would find him grating even if she secretly thinks some of his pranks are funny. she doesn't even consider returning his crush. that is not on the table for her. she still likes sasuke. she still breaks up with ino because i maintain that that was an act of sakura trying to make herself an independent agent from ino and not ino's sidekick. but. but. she has fewer overall problems with naruto. naruto is the class clown but he's not a pariah; he's the hokage's kid and he has social clout
so maybe. consider this. sakura does not return naruto's crush, but his attention is now sort of fun and exciting. she's twelve, after all-- this is new to her, and she's feeling out what she likes and she's not necessarily mature or emotionally aware enough to not be a huge brat. it's fun when naruto brings her flowers and she gets to turn him down in front of other people. it's fun that everyone knows the hokage's son is in love with her, and that she doesn't have to love him back to keep this attention on her.
it is extremely fun when naruto sees her sighing over sasuke and then goes to fight him and then sasuke escalates.
kakashi gets his team and is told there might be some typical twelve year old crush drama, but sakura's personality is predicted to balance out naruto and sasuke's tendency towards fist fights.
and then kakashi watches her intentionally goad them into a fight and then fucking preen and he's like. oh. oh no.
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