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#also english class too

wavesoutbeingtossed · 3 months

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Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)

I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.

I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.

(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)

In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.

Battle (let’s go)

For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.

And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.

(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)

To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.

Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️

(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)

If one thing had been different

Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?

(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)

(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)

There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.

(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)

To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)

(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)

Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.

Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)

Death by a thousand cuts

She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.

(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)

Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.

(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)

In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.

Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.

Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)

From the same little breaks in your soul

I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.

Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)

This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics #taylor swift #midnights #long post #lyrics analysis #song parallels #Gabby this one is for you friend <3 #here goes nothing #Happy Friday or something idk!#(also i know i said there are things i wouldn’t discuss on main but my dms are open lol)#this is not as structured or well plotted out as I wanted it to be #and turned out to be more stream of consciousness than legit essay #but whatever at least i got my thoughts out there and it can release some plot of land in my brain for other stuff to think over lol #If anyone ever reads this thank you! And I’m sorry?#The best compliment i ever got in school #was when we were doing an analysis of a poem in English lit in college #And i brought something up casually #and my prof went ‘I’ve been teaching this class for eight years and that’s the first time anyone’s ever brought it up like that’#’and that just blew my mind’#and i was like ‘who me?’#so that’s all you need to know about me lol #Midnights: The Great War #Bigger than the whole sky #bttws #Midnights: Paris #Midnights: high infidelity #would’ve could’ve should’ve #Midnights: dear reader #midnights: bigger than the whole sky

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arctic-hands · 1 year

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My best advice to sick and disabled kids, as someone whose been sick to the point of disabilty since I was four, is to pick up a creative hobby. Learn to draw, take up knitting, learn the guitar if you're strong enough to hold one and take up ukulele if you're not. Do something that will stimulate your brain and give you the satisfaction of creation, as well as distraction.

My parents' idea of occupying my time thru appointments and infusions and hospitalizations and sick days was just piling me with books and video games. Which is fine! Great escapism, fun to do, saves you from boredom. But sometimes you don't need to escape, sometimes you need to create, and not knowing how or where to start fills you with a feeling of frustration and helplessness. Reading gave me a fantastic imagination and I created worlds in my head that I had no way of getting out to share or saving for posterity.

My parents had hobbies of their own. Mom's a fiber artist and dad's a musician, and I asked them repeatedly over my childhood to teach me what they were doing but they always waffled on it and never did. Hell I didn't even learn how to cook until I was eighteen. So I was left with books and video games and no sense of satisfaction in my ability to do anything.

I took up art in my mid twenties, mostly by watching YouTube tutorials or checking out how to draw books from the library. They say the best time to start is yesterday, but the second best time is to start is today. I don't create art every day. I have more pain and exhaustion days than I do creative days. But when I can create it feels empowering, and power is something I don't have as a disabled person.

And I'm not saying take up a creative hobby so you have something to sell to fall back financially when you're too sick to work (obvs if you want to you can, but that's not the point of this advice). Paint pictures just to hang up in your bedroom. Crochet clothes for your dog. Write songs with lyrics that only make sense to you. And if no one is willing to teach you these skills, seek out resources and basically teach yourself.

I don't know how to end this post, but I am begging every sick kid (and sick adults too, for that matter) to not just wait for your life to end, distracting yourself solely with passive hobbies like books and games that have been scripted out to have pre-determined endings decided for you. Find an outlet you can do to create, for your own sense of satisfaction if nothing else.

#disabilty #chronic illness #to be fair i did write quite a bit as a kid but i had no formal teaching beyond English classes in school so it went unnurtured #and when writers block hit as an adult i had nothing else to fall back on and that block lasted like five years #but i did take up art in that time #i also briefly played clarinet but i was kicked out of band for missing so much because i was sick and my parents returned the rental #now my lungs are too crap to play woodwinds #but seriously find something to do. anything that involves creation #as far as my parents never teaching me anything i sometimes wonder if they didn't think I'd live long enough to be worth investing in

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amarriageoftrueminds · 3 months

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Really, how hard was it for the directors to hire an American blonde actress to play the comics version of Peggy Carter??? Why hire a British actress who acts ao snobby irl??? Why couldn't they keep Peggy's comic version appearance and make her the awesome American rebel that she is? Why make Peggy a snobby British woman who acts like she's better than everyone else, and she's possibly a Hydra spy? I. Just. Don't. Get. It. 😕

There are several possible reasons...

Could be Christopher Markus having an English wife who looks exactly like Hayley Atwell, and wanting to do a creepy Matthew-Vaughn style 'putting his wife in a movie she doesn't belong in' roleplay. Could be Joss Whedon's sad Colonial/Upper Class English fetish. Could be that the director was involved with Indiana Jones movies where the trope of the sexy Nazi babe is a standard, and he isn't as creatively original as Steven Spielberg. Could be someone higher up the chain has a Mary Poppins kink and insisted on swapping in the bossy nannyish English love interest over all the other American love interests Steve has had in the comics (including brunettes!)

None of which justify forcing the (in my opinion) quite sexless Captain America story into a compulsorily-heterosexual shaped hole. That story was built to be a Band of Brothers tale, not Casablanca. It needed to be that.

Which is why CATWS works better, emotionally speaking, than CATFA. Because CATFA expects you to expend emotional energy on the potential-straight-romance-lost plot... when a lifelong best friend whom Steve went to war for just died for him. A film can only carry so much emotion before it collapses under its own weight.

CATWS didn't have that problem. In fact, it would've been even more moving if they'd cut the pointless Peggy schmaltz scene for another Bucky or Steve-and-Bucky-in-flashback scene, as the original script intended. Or better yet, had another 'Steve actually calls out the other white woman for her actions' scene!

#toAyourQ #dat's me #hey nonny #antipeggy #antisteggy #cynthia glass #p*ggy meta #mcu critical #steggy is hydra trash party #meta #mcu meta #other notes: I've never been able to substantiate it but I've always suspected that comics peggy...#was inspired by real-life american spy heroine virginia hall who (like her) was undercover in nazi-occupied france #virginia had a peg leg = peggy from virginia #I've never been able to prove it but it seemed like too much of a coincidence!#and the entire reason WHY peggy's surname is carter is because the carter family are important in virginia's history #calling an english character (of the wrong class) carter is an ignorant nonsensical choice #it's also dumb that they label 'appreciating steve BEFORE serum' as the ultimate sign of a special relationship...#but then pair steve off with a character who barely knew him at all before serum in the comics...#when OTHER comics had pre-serum steve given a whole ass fiancee??#they REALLY wanted cynthia glass in it 🙄#yet each man queues the thing he loves

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snipstheskeleton · 5 months

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i have adrino brainrot right now (do people even say brainrot anymore?? i don’t know but i can’t think of another word for it) and i want share how i view them because i haven’t read fanfic or seen anything else that’s similar enough to this

so adrien and nino are dating and they haven’t told anyone (maybe nino has told alya and adrien has told chloe (i love her and she and adrien are friends shut up) but marinette can’t know for this to work) they have multiple reasons for why they are staying silent the main ones are gabriel, nino thinks adrien doesn’t want to come out, and adrien doesn’t want nino to be bombarded with reporters, paparazzi, fangirls, homophobes/fangirls who want to date adrien (i say fangirls but i mean anyone not necessarily girls),etc if nino becomes popular he wants it to me for who nino is and what he does not because he’s dating a famous model/gabriel’s son and they like their relationship being just between them but that also means having to make sure that they are alone before they can do anything together which is a lot harder than it seems to be so nino goes up to ladybug at one point when he’s carapace(if adrino has revealed their identities to each other) to ask ladybug if it’s ok that if he and chat noir can publicly date because they’re actually dating but they have to keep their relationship secret and ladybug agrees but is a little hurt nino hasn’t told her (marinette) that he’s dating someone and that feeling comes and goes because she wants nino to be able to tell her this stuff but also doesn’t want to know chat noir’s identity and a little less publicly chat noir will flirt or tease nino when carapace is not needed (but only around ladybug/rena or when they think they can without causing a lot of attention so people don’t suspect nino is carapace) and carapace can’t really do the same with adrien (at least around rena and ladybug like chat noir does) but it’s very obvious to people close to adrien that he has the hots for carapace and has made jokes that if carapace wasn’t with chat noir maybe his celebrity status is enough to woo carapace and at times chat noir will ask for the turtle miraculous when he sees ladybug so him and nino can spend time together when they may not be able to as their civilian selves until nino gets the turtle permanently and even after adrino come out publicly they’ll still have dates as chat noir and carapace partially so people don’t think they’ve broken up but mainly because even if they could go do something together without at least one person coming up to them being able to chill with your boyfriend in places most people can’t get to is so much better than going to your typical date locations and the views are so much better (not that they usually look away from each other long enough to notice)

#i probably had more to say about this but i can’t remember #i’ll add more to this later if i think of something else #i love alya knowing about them because would definitely tease the two as rena or alya #i just remembered thought that if she knows that means she’ll know both ladybug and chat noir’s identities so just ignore that #but if she knows then maybe luka knows too??#at least very least he gets the jokes adrien makes about wanting to get with carapace #also i know my grammar and punctuation suck but you can blame my english classes for not embedding themselves into my brain #it’s easier to do nothing then stress about doing it correctly #miraculous ladybug #ml chat noir #carapace #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #adrino #ml ladybug #rena rouge

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spocks-kaathyra · 8 months

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does anyone have any book recommendations. like at all. any genre. I'd like it to be fiction but other than that literally anything goes. anything u consider a Good Book. I want to learn to write again and I figure the first step is to start reading again lmao

#guy who hasn't read any books in the last 5 years except two (2) star trek novels and stuff that was assigned in english class #there are too many books out there....... how do I know which ones to read...........#I'd like something somewhere between twilight and dostoevsky. if u know what I mean. not trashy YA but also not super dense classic lit #narcissus's echoes #save

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m1d-45 · 9 months

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on a scale of 1 to 10 — 1 being the least and 10 being the most — how confident are you in surviving an imposter sagau situation?

short answer: i, a non-native in terrain i’ve only ever navigated with 1) a glider 2) no fear of death 3) via a vessel 4) with a map, against various well trained armies, all hellbent on killing me? you’re funny.

now, the long answer…

the long answer, of course, depends on your preferred brand of isekai, as well as the various traits within that. i will… attempt at brevity, but cannot make promises. oh, and there’s no particular order to this list.

1) blood. i myself am more inclined to blue over gold, but that doesn’t matter for this topic. what does matter is if its present and if it manifests immediately.

2) teyvat. is the earth on my side? do the plants and animals know it’s me, or do i need to ‘prove’ it? does it resent me for whatever reason? what’s it’s level of influence (which sounds dumb, but do i have the power of earthquakes and storms or just a few animal helpers?)

3) the imposter situation itself. is there a physical imposter already there,and if so what’s their level of influence? origin? i’d rather go against a wayward traveller than celestia’s puppet. do they have powers? how does teyvat react to them, if at all?

4) speaking of, celestia. are they on my side, the fake’s(if there is one), or staying neutral? what brand of sagau are we even using here? i know i made a post about my version of sagau lore, but one of the key changes since then was celestia. what version of lore are we following?

5) teyvat’s people, emphasis on vision wielders. do they have that subconscious Know? do their visions act up? how do the people overall feel about the one on the throne, if there is one? if there isn’t, is celestia involved in their opinions somehow? what about the traveller, or my vessels?

6) my influence. what can i do? do i have creator abilities, and if so do they take time/some other cue to manifest? is it something i train, or just Click one day? what level? is it an element by element basis, like the traveller, or does that not apply to me? do i have an inventory? if so, can i access the character menus? the map? waypoints? can i move my party, still? do statues of the seven heal me, does food heal me, how do hillichurls and various abyssal beings react to me? ancient gods, such as rhodea (i spelled that wrong) or dvalin or that fucker in the sea outside liyue (yeah i. forgot his name) or azhdaha or yo(u?)kai, if i’m in inazuma? where are we in the in-game lore, by the way?

7) teyvat, again, but this time in terms of biology. i have a few headcanons about teyvat, notably that their gravity is lesser (less fall damage), weather less severe (global warming), and is overall much more temperate/cooler/less humid (global warmingx2 and also just a touch of idealism), so do these apply? this ties into the other points about teyvat, i guess: does the earth let me get cold? can i just shelter in dragonspine?

8) plot armor, for lack of better phrasing. will teyvat let me die? oh, and do i get timeloop’d, or kicked back to my world? do i die, go to my world, then go back to teyvat when i sleep/next log on/whatever? again, tying into other points about teyvat, but will it protect me from death? is my skin like impenetrable or something, or whoops, god is dead, sorry. if i revive in teyvat, is it like that one recent piece i did where the earth moves me? what happens when (if?) i die? does teyvat take revenge?

the long answer… is that it depends.

#m1d : [chats]#hi. i’m midas. and with every answer i give im always told to ‘take it at face value’ or to ‘stop reading into it’#nice to meet you. i couldn’t answer a question in econ because i was thinking about details over just An Answer #and then i couldn’t even lie and say something because my answers matter to me and i can’t just LIE to a teacher #i regularly get Fs in social interactions and As in english classes. call that autism swag #(if you’re curious it was ‘what fictional character would you have as a friend’ but i fixated on the semantics)#(are they coming here? am i going there? do they remember their source or know i don’t belong? i’d feel guilty taking them away and they-)#(-might miss somebody ! is it a ‘go to a reality where they were always here’ and if so would they be who i think they are?)#(i ended up lying anyway with ‘i read too much into the question’ bevause that ISNT too much those are PERFECTLY LOGICAL QUESTIONS TO ASK)#(to neurotypicals it’s ‘reading into it’ to me it’s a little something called ‘critical thought and also empathy’)

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iwowzumi · 9 months

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okokok i’ve seen a lot of ppl comment or tag on my last post with “agree but i don’t think gideon is ace” and i hear u i see u and i don’t think tazmuir intentionally wrote gideon as asexual but it’s MY playground and i wanna make my case for ace gideon

to me gideon reads as someone who conceptually thinks sex is bonkers cool but then when she actually gets to the act is like oh uhhhhhh hmm. gideon has porn mags and her internal narration implies aesthetic attraction (dulcinea, coronabeth) but to me doesnt speak to intense sexual attraction. she’ll notice a woman’s legs/boobs/outfit and remark on it, but in my memory she never discloses any imagination of sex acts with them. and then with harrow, someone we know she deeply loves, iirc she never takes things sexual there either, homoeroticism notwithstanding. gideon makes a big show of attracting women, making dirty jokes, and ogling, but her actual behavior doesn’t come off as someone who needs/desires sex, and i think this circles back around nicely to her tendency to showboat to hide her true emotions behind humor and wit. i think when it comes to tlt ace headcanons harrow can seem like the obvious choice since yknow. repressed bone nun. but i think there’s a compelling reading for gideon as an overcompensating sex joke making asexual lesbian who talks the talk but absolutely doesn’t walk the walk and i choose to read her that way not only bc i’m projecting but also i think it’s hilarious. stupid virgin asexual gideon nav

#to clarify i am not saying u HAVE TO/SHOULD read her as ace i just think it is a silly but also interesting character reading #this is not discourse this is me submitting my essay in english class and hoping i get a sticker even if the teacher thinks it’s bullshit #anyway i hoped anyone read this and went oh hm cool :)#i try not to post my opinions too often and just make funney posts but i have too many feelings about tlt oughhh #the locked tomb #gideon nav #tlt #syd text

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