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#also I started this on April 2nd so it really did take a lot of time
Apparently being in the car for several hours at a time is very good at giving you ideas for personality’s of characters.
On that note: I’ve decided I’m going to get into the personalities of many characters I have, even if they haven’t ever done anything because they’ve not made an appearance and/or are literally dead.
Shalara/Ocean Aquae: Before I thought of her as a more serious, but since I reworked her and actually got into her backstory a little, plus like what she ends up doing, which is becoming a pirate at some point, I’ve decided that’s different. So now the way I think of her personality is something maybe like Uzi from Murder drones? But not quite. The sort of aggressive nature Uzi has is definitely present, but in general Shalara is a lot more positive and definitely more rowdy. She can still get serious when needed, I figure she’s probably a decent strategist, and given she was canonically in training as a doctor, even with her role as crown princess, she’s definitely able to calm down and get serious. She’s for sure the level head in situations where that would be required, and I’ve mentioned [Redacted] has had to bear witness to that many times, and at least one of them was because he was hurt, and she had to heal them. But that’s how I think of her personality as of the updated design and backstory era.
Magrieus/Zircon Ardor: Magrieus I’ve thought about a lot, and is also possibly the character I have had the hardest time getting an idea on. Butttt given their inspiration as a character is Bronya from HSR, they’d probably be somewhat like that. Serious, possibly a little naive at first, but fiercely loyal, and very protective of those they care about. That’s the best idea I have. I do think they probably have a pretty firey temper, probably something to do with the fact they are half fire imp (and I’ve determined fire imps typically have very quick tempers, which might be cliche but here we are-), but I also have started thinking of them as just a bit of a jokester. Probably very dry humor (which I’ve been told I have so I guess I really do write what I know).
Fultein/Bolt Impetus: Honestly out of all the saviors, Fultein and Astris are the second most fleshed out, with [Redacted] obviously being the first. But Fultein is who I’m talking about right now, so here we go. Given Fultein was pretty much in a leadership role already (the elder of her group was getting pretty old by the time she was 17, so she’d basically taken over in all but name), she’s a pretty serious person. Probably pretty strict in general, but definitely caring, possibly to a fault. Much like Magrieus, she’s fiercely loyal and protective over who she cares about. She’s like the mom friend times eleven. Honestly she’d probably be pretty empathetic. Leaning towards her being an empath much like [Redacted], and she’s one of the people who taught them protection spells and how to figure out if what he’s feeling is actually its feelings or someone else’s. She’s also likely a good strategist, and I’d say she’s a quick thinker.
Astris/Stardust Cometa: Astris is one character I’ve actually done a lot of short story writing off. I have like 8 or 9 notes in my notes app that are entirely short stories about them. But they’re probably one of my favorites personality wise. So when you first meet them, they’d come off pretty serious, but when you do get to know them better, they’d be distinctly not that. They’re a very kind and caring person, who probably is always there with a compliment. Ironically enough the best reference I have is N (murder drones). Like literally they were the embodiment of a golden retriever. [Redacted] and Astris really were out here channeling the black cat+golden retriever partners trope. Though I do think they’d be a quiet guy in general, because of the typical star striker set of powers that they have on steroids. Given one of their powers is the gift of prophecy, I’d wager they’d frequently get visions of the future, so they probably would stay quiet in any scenario because they’re just trying to keep up with their own mind. Kind of like Clearsight from wings of fire. (God I’m in so many freaking fandoms it’s hard to keep up with it all-)
OH BOI- this is the part where I do four (it’s four now! It was three before-) different ones for [Redacted]. Yippeeee
Glow Sidus (Before calamity): I think I have established that Glow was a very very angry person. They weren’t always this way (at this point in time they did still go by she/her so I’m gonna use that), when she was younger she was a pretty chill kid. But eventually the whole being a flock bird in a family of non-flock birds messed with her personality, and she got pretty aggressive as result. This being a result of the underlying abandonment issues of course, but she didn’t really understand that at the time. So that resulted in a very explosive temper (god she’s just like me for real), and as I wrote, this resulted in a very specific incident where, when she was still learning how to control her powers (because having way stronger than average light powers which rely heavily on emotions at this point when you are an emotionally unstable teenager is definitely a good combination), she got angry at her sister, lashed out, and gave her a massive scar. So that resulted in a general fear of herself and her emotions, which in turn lead to an unhealthy coping mechanism known as bottling it all up (once again, just like me for real). Barbs and Aura really were her biggest support system at this point.
Glow Sidus (during the calamity): At this point, Glow had mellowed out a little bit (also now switching to they/them in reference to them for this one), so while they still have a temper, it’s less present, and they’re more so quiet, a whole lot more anxious, and way more serious. Very much the black cat to Astris’s golden retriever. They’re also currently going through basically the apocalypse (this stemming from me realizing the chaos corrupt could very well be like zombies, hence the threat they pose being just that much greater), so there’s more seriousness, depression, and sleep deprivation all around. Plus, as the others die, they got much more withdrawn, and that stuck with them throughout their late teen years.
[Redacted] Sidus (During the events of oneshot): At this point [Redacted] effectively: 1.) lost their parents and sister (allegedly), 2.) lost several close friends (including but not limited to: Shalara, Magrieus, Fultein, Aura, Barbs, and probably some others at this point), and 3.) lost their partner (which probably sucked ass let’s be real). So he’s really going through it at this point. He’s also like 17 at this point so he’s living under the care of Aesteus and Cador, who are dating at this point but not married. He was very withdrawn at this point, mostly just slept. Until Aesteus brought them a usb drive with a certain puzzle game on it (my mom called it that after she played it, and it does say that’s what it is when I googled it, so it’s a puzzle game. A really depressing puzzle game). He starts playing that, figures out damn near instantly that this isn’t entirely a game (and also probably figures out almost as quickly that Niko is not just a character in it), and boom: how to cure a man’s depression. But also how to give them a crisis, because at this time while he’s trying super desperately to get both Niko home, and save the world, he’s struggling with the idea that he’s playing god, given their direct connection with Ludeius. So basically: anxiety, depression, and a whole lot of crisis.
[Redacted] Sidus (present): So I’ve probably shown a good chunk of their personality by now. He’s much more serious, has a tendency to accidentally adopt stray teenagers/children (THE AMOUNT OF SELF CONTROL THIS MAN PROBABLY HAD TO USE WHEN HE MET LIGHT- he was probably going “I do not need to adopt another child. I do not need to adopt another child. I do not-“ and then he basically/legally in one case, adopts Asa and Sage. Also this directly parallels my tendency to get accidentally adopted), and in general is kinda high strung anxiety wise. Honestly tho I don’t blame them, the man had one of his kids get shot, kidnapped, and tortured, which the kidnapped and tortured part extends to the other three, then literally took an explosive to the arm, died, woke up in limbo AGAIN, bargained with Ludeius, committed undeath, and then LOST SAID ARM. He's been through a lot. And is also 25, so like he’s really been through a lot. But yeah, now he’s the mom friend (literally the only way to explain it), and honestly he’s just trying to relax (and not getting too), do their like 3 jobs they have, and not die again (which he failed at once already).
ALRIGHT MAIN CHARACTERS FOR [REDACTED]’S UNIVERSE DONE! Now for the side characters…
Barbs: As I said, Barbs is [Redacted]’s cousin who’s basically MIA. He was rowdy, chaotic, but kind, and he was always there to be [Redacted]’s support when they needed it. They definitely take inspiration from a cousin of mine (who I’m not as close with anymore, but I still remember how it used to be).
Aura: Aura is based off a “friend” I had, which I have mentioned. I’ve mentioned this friend bullied me so heavily that it’s made me forever have a complex about my weight (which is actively unhealthily skinny for my height, and I cannot get it up, which is a bit of a problem-). And as a coping mechanism, because I’m trying to get the hell over her and her “friendship”, I made Aura. And then made her a magpie since those are trash birds where I live (they eat our peaches off the trees, the little shits). So at first, she was a pretty nice person, dry humor and a creative streak that went on for miles. But before the calamity, she started to get a little toxic, saying things that just were… off. It came to a head when, in hopes to save herself, she rats out where the five saviors are, and this results in Fultein’s death. [Redacted] has never forgiven her. But it’s also mostly certain that in the end, she was turned into a chaos corrupt, and died with the rest during the end of the calamity ([Redacted] holding that ball of light up into the air, which explodes and basically just turns the chaos corrupt into dust).
Aesteus: Aesteus is another of [Redacted]’s cousins of which takes heavy inspiration off of mine. They specifically are the oldest of the cousins (fun fact, much like with me and my oldest cousin, Aesteus and [Redacted] are the two eldest cousins. And since [Redacted] is Afab while Aesteus is the first amab cousin, the two were pretty much the guinea pigs of the cousins), and took the role of [Redacted]’s legal guardian after the calamity. They’re a pretty positive person, and they’re just a good support for [Redacted]. Barbs was their little brother.
Cador: Cador is also a pretty nice guy. They’re all around a pleasant person to just spend time with, and honestly I’m pretty sure job wise they’d be a therapist so I guess that could influence their personality. They’re a quiet person, but still talkative, it’s literally their voice that is quiet. I dunno I’m still figuring them out.
It’s time… FOR NIKO’S HOME UNIVERSE.
Niko/Somino Amano: So I’ve done a lot of thinking on this (kinda have to cause they’re like the main focus of one of the blogs), and here’s what I got. For them most part, I’d say they are still similar enough in personality to the canon version. But they do deviate pretty hard from canon in like every regard, so I should probably explain the ways they do that here as well. Obviously they’re a lot more serious, a whole heap of a lot more traumatized (which is very valid, because we have the golden arc, abduction arc, that one mini arc, oneshot itself… oh and now the tide arc soooo… yeah), and also just a lot more sarcastic. Plus now they’ve got some fun light magic tomfoolery they can do, and a whole lot more chaotic energy they get to use on a daily basis. Yeah that’s what I’ve got.
Hoshi Amano: So they’re not very fleshed out yet. I don’t even have their pronouns decided yet, which I should probably do because they’re about to show up a lot more often now that they’ve made an appearance. I’d say they’re just pretty serious, kinda blunt, and probably just a very focused person. They probably get along best with Niko and [Redacted], which is good because they literally share a body with one of them.
Rizu Chowa: Yeah so. We know. She’s literally the chaos gremlin friend. She’s gotten a bit more serious recently, but she’s still chaos incarnate. She’s very loud, pretty rowdy, and very aggressively caring. She’s the one who would threaten to fight you if you dare talk bad about yourself.
Asa Hiru: honesty she’s gone through a lot of change. But her personality is pretty set now. She’s kind of aggressive, but caring, and also would probably threaten to fight you if you talk bad about yourself. She probably reminds [Redacted] of itself when he was much younger. I’ve also decided she may actually be very good at dad jokes. And also she’s very good at going for a long time without needed breaks, which is helpful since she’s a cna with plans to become either an ER worker or a surgeon, so that would be needed. Plus she has steady hands (I could never), which is good. For the nurse thing.
Sage Haiyu: Sage might be my most mysterious character here. With the log notes I did to explain her backstory, I hope I’ve at least made it clear that she’s artificial life, created with genetic code from several people in an attempt to create basically a war machine. One of these people who donated genetic material was the head scientist, and her genes were the most prominent, and included the green eyes and plant and earth based magic. But that’s not what we’re here for. At first glance, Sage is a quiet, kind person who’s usually just listening. But in reality, she’s a very alert person who’s always wary of others. Basically she has major trust issues, but also a knack for figuring out who’s actually trustworthy. She actually has quite the temper, but she’s gotten very good at keeping herself under control. Plus, as an actor, she’s very good at impressions, especially vocal ones, so do with that what you will??
Now for Niko’s familyyyy here we go.
Also I found what name I picked for Niko's mom, and I googled it because I was 50% sure it had something to do with hazelnuts, and one of the meanings of the name was in fact Hazelnut tree, and it made me laugh so hard because I knew I had done something like that.
Harika Amano (Niko's mother): So we know like absolutely zero things about her other than she's really good at making pancakes and also the one thing we see about her in the dream, where she honestly seems just really nice. So that left me some room to interpret. So I figure she's a very nice person, very caring, probably a little sleep deprived (her eldest kid keeps getting into situations, and the twins are chaos gremlins, who wouldn't be), and probably a somewhat worried person in general. She's just worried about her kids, but she's doing her best, and her kids are all very happy to have her as their mom.
Mugi Amano (Niko's little brother): Alright, so. Mugi I decided is the older of the twins, but not by that much. He's the more energetic and loud one, who's typically more active. He's also terrible at keeping secrets and also lying. He's the more extroverted one, but he struggles in terms of learning. I think I'm leaning towards him having ADHD (same kid, same), and possibly being dyslexic? So he struggles there, but luckily he has an older sibling who's really good at the math side of things, and a sister who's basically the fastest reader he knows. So he's doing his best.
Honoka Amano (Niko's little sister): Honoka is the younger of the twins. She's a little less energetic, and quieter in general, but just as chaotic as her brother. She's also much better at secret keeping, and probably lying, though I think she'd always feel bad, so she wouldn't like lying anyways. She's a little bit more introverted than Mugi, but mostly because she's more easily overwhelmed. Leaning towards her having a generalized anxiety disorder, and I think it's possible she might also have a dissociative disorder, though that's up in the air for now. She's pretty good in terms of school stuff, especially in reading, so she helps her brother with that, because it just doesn't make sense to him sometimes. Niko helps her with math too, because math is hard. She's also doing her best. And also given her alternative eye color (blue), she may develop some powers when she's a little older, but she doesn't have any apparent ones just yet.
For the last character on the list (for the time being-)...
The World Machine/Twm: So in oneshot literally what I managed to pick up on (bear with me, can't do tone so I don't know if the intention was for them to sound aggressive, anxious, or what-) is that they were either depressed/suicidal (that part was blatantly obvious, you cannot ignore being told repeatedly that someone desires death), anxious, both of these things, or just downright trying to seem aggressive as a cover-up. But now with the time skip, here's what I've got. Twm is more of a walking entity of sass now, though still with some underlying anxiety. Significantly less desire for death though. They're actually a secretly caring person, who's usually worried about the safety of others (which is something I think they were showing when they were worried about Niko in the game, but again, not entirely certain on this one), and this shows sometimes, especially with the authors other kids, who I do think Twm thinks of as siblings, at least a little bit.
HOLY CRAP IT'S FINALLY DONE- THIS TOOK SO LONG-
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ginsoakedgirl80 · 4 months
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Costume Cdramas I watched in 2023
My 2nd year with Chinese dramas as my love for costume drama continues.
The title links to where you can watch it (tried to find free legal watches where available)
The Blood of Youth (40 x 45min, filming started in Oct 2021, released Dec 2022) fun action drama with a good dose of comedy, not for people who want lots of romance because they are too busy (and the canon couples don't have enough chemistry, there I said it) to be making out. Good for bromance, ghost ships and/or ace character head canons. Xiao Se's fur collar wins fur collar of the year, Tang Lian is my blorbo of early 2023.
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My Uncanny Destiny (24 x 30min, filmed in autumn 2021, released Jan 2023) My favorite comedy of the year. Don't get turned off by the toilet jokes, it's a gem that spoofs drama tropes, gives you a coherent plot, silliness, fun side characters, a ML that is not afraid of being silly and a FL that plays capable and silly well. This might be a low budget production but they put that money to work. Politics, cross-dressing, found family, sisterhood, enemies to lovers, third wheel bisexual who reminds me of Wen Kexing, over the top villain, himbo villain who works out shirtless all the time, it got it all.
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Wulin Heroes (22 x 45min, filming started Nov 2020, released Jan 2023) I watched this for Li Hongyi and he is incredibly beautiful in this so props to his stylist and cinematographer. BUT it is a badly written and edited low budget romp. If you are not watching for any actor then do not bother. FL is bearable once you realize she is very much of a lets see where this goes kind of character. 2nd ML is a suffering captive prince turned whiny regent played by Zhu Zanjin. So if you want to see Jin GuangYao suffer, you might like his scenes?? It can totally be read as a throuple especially with the New Tales of Wulin Heroes mini series add on. The choppiness might also be a result of the dangai ban??
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No Doubt in us (24 x 14min, 2021, donghua) saw this on netflix and it roped me in with the body switch trope. It's sufficiently entertaining. Though I didn't enjoy the animation style apart from the chibi scenes.)
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Heaven Official's Blessing (season 1, 11 x 26min, 2020, Donghua) It's THAT story and the art style is so pretty. I haven't read the books yet but still got what was going on most of the time. Liked it a lot. Haven't watched the 2nd season yet)
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The Journey of Chong Zi (40 x 45min, filming started in June 2021, released Feb 2023) This xianxia is a mess! But it gave Scorpion King Li Daikun another memorable role with being the FL's protector. Watching Wang Zhoucheng having a ball with his role was fun. Immortal turned demon Wan Jie is so handsome and tragic. It did draw me in but the main couple is just ick so every time they were apart it immediately got better. ML's refusal to take the antidote to ease his obsession was lmao, FL is naive but charming and her demon styling rocks (do not get the hate on the actress, she is selfmade and there are many bad pretty face actresses around but I guess antis attract antis). Oh and there is a bromance between two of Chong Zi's harem members
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Till the End of the Moon (40 x 55min, started filming in Nov 2021, released April 2023) aka my brain rot drama of the year. Drawn in from episode 1 on. Bai Li and Luo Yunxi <3 Pian Ran, Ye Qingyu, Nian Baiyu and Si Ying. <3 I was spamming tumblr with my screenshots, it was a jolly good time to watch this epic tale of love and suffering and saving the world dilemma with a great cast, characters, costumes, sets and soundtrack with the cdrama ppl of tumblr. If this weren't too complicated for cdrama newbies I'd recommend it to all my friends. Do not skip the dream arc (I ended up liking it) or later stuff will make less sense. I'm still annoyed that we didn't get a good extra episode that wraps up some lose ends for the main side characters and that reunion of the main characters but Youku really went nah we better play it safe with censors not liking happy ends for morally grey characters.
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My Queen (24 x 45min, filmed in 2020, released Jul 2021) An FL enters a romance adventure VR game drama that I watched because I needed some fluff between TtEotM episodes. Why pick this among any other sufficiently entertaining dramas that are probably better written and not as forgetable? Because I wanted to watch Hu Wei (rich nepo baby in The Blood of Youth) in another comedy role >_> and ridiculous overacting he did deliver
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The Trust (30 x 45min, filmed early 2021, released Apr 2023) The life action adaptation of the manhua No doubt in us is based on. I dunno why I finished this, I guess I'm not a quitter and needed silly stuff to balance TtEotM angst. For some reason the director thought it would be a good idea to film this like a donghua and it is causing 2nd hand embarrassment. The ML cannot pull off being a woman in a man's body, not even a martial arts nerd like Xu Yu. Like Wulin Heroes it was filmed before the dangai ban but that didn't stop them from having at least two bromances.
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Wanru's Journey (24 x 35min, filming started in Jun 2021, released May 2023) A mess. So IQIYI released this simply to ride on the wave of Ao Ruipeng's The Blood of Youth popularity. Because this got so chopped down because of the dangai ban and it probably wasn't good to begin with. Basically an actress transmigrates into a dangai screenplay and gets between the leads while also making money by writing fic about them (ok this is my reading but she DID release fic and drawings of them). Of course it takes an unnecessarily dramatic turn, instead of staying on the comedy side, cannot remember more of the plot, oops.
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King is not Easy (20ep x 30min, released Aug 2017) I watched this for the body switch trope and Bai Lu. Nice to see her actual face before the fair skin filter got her, entertaining enough, badly written silly comedy with mind mindbogglingly contrived final 4 episodes. It's Bai Lu's drama debut so it's nice to see how far she got
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Destined (40ep x 45min, filming started in Jun 2022, released June 2023) Highly enjoyable. Fell in love with Bai Jingting. What's not to love about a playboy getting put on his path by his wife and them becoming friends, sworn siblings and then lovers in the process? No this is actually about FL finding her thing (trade) and being wildly successful at it, then it's also political, revenge and more. The leads are extremely charming and have great chemistry (the drama suffers every time they are apart lbr) and the writing is good, though people are too perfect and I wasn't into the whole palace stuff.
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My Journey to You (24 ep x 60min, filming started Dec 2022, released Sep 2023) Had me from episode 1 on. Made me buy IQIYI VIP so I can watch it in good quality. Fell in love with Zhang Linghe. Yu Shuxin needs to do all the wuxia while she is still fit. Why waste being able to do the splits on some modern drama? The director sent her mud wrestling and she went for it. Everyone knows she is pretty no need for her to be beautifully put together on screen 24/7. Love the style, the character introductions, the characters, the cast, the chemistry, the story, the way you expect something and something else is going on. While it started out gloomy and remained so for the most part, it surprised me with throwing in more comedy than I expected. The good old idle manchild gets thrown into a position of power story but it's a murderous martial arts clan against another murderous martial arts clan. It's giving you some information but often just enough for getting what's going on just to play with your expectations later, FUN! And I didn't even mention all the other characters because surprise! this is actually an ensemble drama with several intriguing characters. Do not expect for the two leads to be on screen all the time.
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Hilarious Family (24ep x 45min, started filming in June 2022 (?), released Sept 2023) A fun ensemble comedy I watched for Jackie Li. A widow moves to another city to marry off her 4 daughters (a silly man-crazy one, a homely one, a scholar one and a tomboy one). No it's not Pride and Prejudice but yes of course this is a romcom and all women have a love interest. It kind of drops off later on tbh, but still good for the characters and side characters. The success of this in China hopefully means that Jackie Li will get to be getting more comedies to work in after the Queen Lau disaster and people having a problem with her artist alias in 2022.
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Hello There (20ep x 30min, released Jan 2023) I stumbled on this on IQIYI while looking for a light fast watch that will let my brain relax. The ML's best acting moment is when he plays a wooden robot. FL is fun. There are some questionable scenes, standard low budget action comedy fare.
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An Ancient Love Song (14ep x 30 min, released June 2023) A wonderfully written and executed grown up time traveling story, that shows once again that you don't need a big budget to tell a story that draws you in. Ended my palace politics blockade. All this time traveling and no reincarnation in sight. ;_;
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Story of Kunning Palace (38ep x 45min, filming started in May 2022, released Nov 2023) Tieing 2nd with My Journey to You for brainrot drama of the year. The cinematography is questionable, the story is not for teaching perfect courting behavior but those two are just such a good cp in their awkward messy way. Their friends/sidekicks are fun too and bring some comedy to that story though crazy in love ML is serving some comedy too. Props to ZLH for actually trying to grasp the basics of playing qin and not just waving over the strings like other dramas deem it sufficient. Bai Lu is Bai Lu-ing, gathering her harem. Coming into this right after An Ancient Love Song the idea to defeat destiny this time around seemed hopeless to me but this is one of those they are good at making plans and they turn out mostly alright dramas. I hope those two's material for the next years is as good as the two dramas with them I watched in 2023, fingers crossed!
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Currently watching: A Journey to Love and Taoism Grandmaster as well as 2/3 through a LbFaD rewatch that I started in summer.
I also watched a handful of modern dramas (made in Korea and Japan) and some mini-dramas, but that is for another post.
And yes my most watched actors are probably those uncles stuck in Hengdian, might look that up another day.
If I got the time to blog about a drama I usually do it with screenshots so my tag for those posts is excuse my bad quality screenshots. In other cases I just reblog and put my thoughts in the tags.
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cheesybadgers · 1 year
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Narcos Fic Plagiarism
I don't know about any other writers, but I am sick and tired of seeing bits and pieces of my writing scattered through other people's work, especially when a) those people have never once bothered to interact with me or my fics, and b) their works get WAY more engagement than mine.
Below the cut, I've included some examples from the last year, although some are very recent and over the line for me.
I used to just ignore this kind of thing, but with the most recent ones I thought I would reach out privately to the writer and unsurprisingly, they denied all knowledge...and then did the exact same thing in another chapter posted just days later.
I know people can come up with the same ideas independently etc. and that's bound to happen when writing the same characters, but, the examples below go beyond that and there is often a pattern with serial offenders. One-offs can be ignored or passed off as coincidences, but when it's done multiple times? Come on now.
I'm sure this post won't stop those who are still determined to behave this way, although I would really urge you to do some soul searching and ask yourself why you do this, because it's not conducive to your own creativity or growth as a writer, let alone in the spirit of a fan community. But I'm asking you publicly now to PLEASE STOP IT.
I have reported some of these to AO3, but they don't seem to care unless it involves huge chunks of text, or is all copied exactly word for word, even though their website defines plagiarism as:
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There's nothing wrong with being inspired by other writers in your fandom and giving them a mention in your fic notes. In fact, that's a good thing! Creatives should be inspired by others, I don't know why so many don't like to admit it. But there is a big difference between that and just taking without credit, and doing it multiple times is going to get you found out.
Mine: Chapter 13 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 16th May 2022):
These are from the same scene involving Steve visiting Javier on the ranch, having drinks together and talking about Steve finding out about Javier/Horacio and whether Javier is going to go back to his job:
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Very popular fic involving Javi x OFC (posted 3rd February 2023):
And these are from a scene involving Steve visiting Javi on the ranch, having drinks together and talking about Steve finding out about Javi/OFC and whether Javi is going to go back to his job:
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Mine: Chapter 17 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 22nd December 2022):
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Same very popular fic involving Javi x OFC as above (posted 26th February 2023):
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Mine: Chapter 17 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 22nd December 2022):
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Same very popular fic involving Javi x OFC as above (posted 26th February 2023):
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Bear in mind as well that this same fic included Día de Muertos from 18th September 2022, i.e. just 3 weeks after I shared a snippet of my fic in the main tags about the same subject. Again, I know I don't own ideas and in isolation, I would have just thought it's a coincidence, but not when combined with everything else here.
I've also got e-mails I've sent to myself (I do that a lot with my drafts) going back to early August 2022 where I was working on this idea (obviously I've erased my e-mail address from these screenshots):
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And here's my Goodreads page that shows the date I read the book which inspired me to include Día de Muertos in the first place:
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For anyone interested, the book is set in a Texas border town and follows a Mexican-American family. The main character gets married and her father-in-law starts to appear to her every Día de Muertos because he's trying to resolve conflict with his son that he never got to do when he was alive. Given that I was writing about...a Mexican-American from a Texas border town, it felt like perfect research lol.
EDITED TO ADD ANOTHER EXAMPLE:
Mine: Chapter 17 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 22nd December 2022):
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Same very popular fic involving Javi x OFC as above (posted 2nd April 2023):
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These are older screenshots I've had on my phone so the format is slightly different to the above.
Mine: Chapter 1 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 1st March 2021):
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Another Javier x Horacio fic posted on AO3 on 24th February 2022:
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Mine: Chapter 1 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 1st March 2021):
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The same Javier x Horacio fic as above posted on AO3 on 24th February 2022:
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Mine: Chapter 1 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 1st March 2021):
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The same Javier x Horacio fic as above posted on AO3 on 24th February 2022:
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Mine: Chapter 3 of OHDH - Javier x Horacio (posted 31st March 2021):
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The same Javier x Horacio fic as above posted on AO3 on 24th February 2022:
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These are just some examples, I know there are more but this post took me long enough as it is lol. I think you get the point anyway.
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buffyfan145 · 11 months
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So Calam Lynch gave another interview on Instagram and I've linked below to a tweet discussing what he said about "Rings of Power" and theories popping up again about who he's playing. :D Also I've included my own theories now too on what could be happening as this show has really unlocked my own "Nancy Drew" brain as I used to do this all the time on various sites when "Buffy", LOST, and "OUAT" were all airing and still do this for some of my other shows. LOL
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He answered that he filmed "big block of episodes" before he did a play in April last fall/winter, and then he came back to set again in the final weeks in late May/early June. I know he was a favorite by some to be Celeborn but his comments and knowing what we know filmed during those times it really is leaning more towards him being Anarion like I first thought or the "angelic" form of Sauron we know now is coming thanks to the spoilers we got last Sunday about this 2nd version and Charlie Vickers' new look for his version.
From most spoilers it seems some of the big storylines for season 2 will be the forging of the rings for the dwarfs and men and some version of the Annatar storyline, Galadriel and the other elven ring bearers learning their powers, the people of Numenor starting to be divided into The Faithful and The King's Men, and Sauron and Adar in a power struggle over Mordor. There also are spoilers they filmed flashbacks for Sauron, possibly even showing when he was Mairon. However, there is nothing indicating that Celeborn is even in season 2 and for Calam to have had that much to film to me that fully rules out him as Celeborn. Anarion or "Annatar" (as they might not be able to use that name but it'll still be him) seem much more likely now.
There's also that Charlie Rich actor who's been teasing on Instagram too that he's also playing someone connected to Sauron, if not Annatar himself too and I can see him possibly being the form Adar knew and maybe only used for flashbacks as he wasn't announced like Calam was, which suggests even less screentime for Charlie Rich's character.
And I know some thing Calam is too boyish looking to be playing a version of Sauron, but to me "angelic" sometimes is used to describe someone who seems innocent. I personally think it applies to Elrond and I can see Sauron doing this to pretend to be an elf to convince Celebrimbor and the other elves to make the other rings. It'll be interesting to see if this happens what Galadriel thinks of him, as we know from the books she never trusted Annatar and on the show is coming from this loss of what she thought Halbrand was to her, and Sauron knows now how important Elrond is to Galadriel and the other elves so I can see him making this new form to be similar. This explains too why Morfydd and Calam followed each other on Instagram as well as this would also be them sharing scenes together too.
Then once they all find out Charlie Vickers takes back over the role and reveals himself in that 2 episode battle in the finale. Also makes me wonder if this is what leads to Adar possible switching sides, which a lot are speculating, and if Adar captures Galadriel early in the season and they work together to go after Sauron, or if the season ends with her first being captured by Adar and then it's Sauron who has her (after he kills Adar), and similar to that scene of when she and Halbrand were imprisoned in Numenor (and Morfydd confirmed too she and Charlie did film together again too), and that's the season 2 cliffhanger and maybe the actual reveal of who is playing Celeborn and where he's been all along to set up season 3. :)
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cmdonovann · 1 year
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quantum break appreciation month: a quick retrospective
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so, first of all, wow, it was WAY more effort than i thought to just POST SOMETHING EVERY DAY. i put a lot of pressure on myself to only post The Good Stuff to this blog, and boy golly is my standard of "good stuff" higher than it ought to be! so this has been great practice for me in "finished is better than perfect."
second of all, i wanna put together a quick rundown of everything i did this month!
Announcement post
April 1st: My Bleeding Clock (My Immortal AU) fanfic for April Fool's Day
April 2nd: Playlist to go with My Bleeding Clock
April 3rd: Sketch of 2010!Beth
April 4th: Sketch of Jack and Beth
April 5th: Reblogged my old post about last year's anniversary zine, as well as a new little sketch to celebrate the 7th anniversary of the game's release
April 6th: Doodle of Beth in a skirt (with pockets!)
April 7th: I literally just posted a passage I like from the QB:ZS novel
April 8th: Started posting old art... completed set of the halo series here!
April 9th: More old art (Jack/Paul this time)
April 10th: More old art, LNEHH edition
April 11th: More old art, Will Joyce edition
April 12th: Some Jack/Paul art to celebrate me and my husband's anniversary :3c
April 13th: QUANTUM BREAK HOMESTUCK AU!!!
April 14th: Surprise! it's even more old Jack/Paul art!
April 15th: Wow! I can't believe it's more Jack/Paul art!
April 16th: Apparently I was busy this day because I just reblogged LNEHH, lol
April 17th: Quantum Break characters, but as Skyrim characters
April 18th: Some blinkie gifs I made using blinkies.cafe
April 19th: A sweater I made using the linocut stamps from last year's anniversary zine
April 20th: Another blinkie gif, hehe
April 21st: Meta post about color palettes and color usage in Quantum Break
April 22nd: A little QB divider I made for my fansite (WIP)
April 23rd: Some terrible glitter gifs, also for the WIP fansite
April 24th: Minecraft skins of a bunch of QB characters!
April 25th: I was also apparently busy this day, cuz all I did was make a stupid phone background for myself XD
April 26th: Took a swing at pixel art
April 27th: A promo for the Quantum Break Discord Server I run!
April 28th: Wrote another chapter of My Bleeding Clock...
April 29th: Art of Jack and Paul :3
April 30th: Started a new longfic: The Symmetry of Fear!
holy shit. that's a lot. i am retroactively impressed with my past self for doing all this, lmao. nice.
third of all! i wanna note that i started several projects this month that i have yet to finish. of course i'm not confining my quantum break posting to one month of the year (impossible) but i will take my time finishing the... uh... three fics and two meta essays i have unfinished, as well as the fansite i am working on. i want these to be GOOD, so i'm not going to rush them. i'm glad this month gave me to juice to finally get these projects started, though!
and lastly... why did i even do this project/event in the first place?
well... good question. i imagine i'm not the only one who has been Going Through It for a while now, and i just... really needed a big project to focus on for a while. and quantum break is like, one of the only things that i never get tired of thinking about, so... are you seeing my logic here?
all that said, i do genuinely want to work on putting more love out into the world. and i love quantum break! i want other people to love it too! (or at least, i want other people to look at my passion for it and be like "i dont go here but you keep doing your funky little thing my man," you know what i mean?)
so, big thanks to everyone who has encouraged me this month, whether it be in reblog tags, in the quantum break discord server, or elsewhere. also, big thanks to my husband, who i would not have married if not for our mutual obsession with quantum break, and who is always down to listen to me talk about my various theories and fic ideas. and finally, a big thanks to remedy, for making this dumb game that i love so so so much.
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firsttarotreader · 1 year
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Pedro’s Special Birthday Reading #1 2023
Hello! Once again it’s April 2nd! Our man’s birthday! 🥳🥳🥳 🎂🎉🎈Like last year, I did some special readings to talk about this next year of his life that starts today. The first one is a more general one, with the Celtic Cross method, and I asked what this year holds for him, in his life as a whole, not focusing on anything specific. I gotta say I am proud of it and wish Pedro could see it! Hope he does in one of his lurking sessions online! 🥹🥹
The cards I pulled were the Queen of Hedgehogs reversed, 5 of Spears, 2 of Spears, The Pair, 9 of Spears, Knight of Teacups, 7 of Flowers, Page of Spears, Knight of Flowers and Transformation.
Okay, so let’s start our journey. Queen of Hedgehogs reversed is the significator, the central issue right now, and Pedro seems to be having a hard time balancing his work life with his personal and home life. There is an imbalance, and from what we have seen from him, apparently work and career are the ones taking up the most space. Maybe he isn’t giving his loved ones (friends and family) the attention he might want to, or that he should. We could even be talking about his “home” as his own body, and he might have neglected it, which could explain his recent gym routine and apparently healthy food (a little less caffeine could help too though lol). The 5 of Spears is what’s crossing this entire situation and causing it. This is a card of conflict, of frustrations and misunderstandings, miscommunication, and the feeling of defeat. These feelings have crossed Pedro’s life and are the ones potentially causing and fueling the Queen of Hedgehogs reversed. He’s felt defeated and frustrated (possibly in every field, his career, his love life, his own body), and not only that fuels the present situation, but also the fear to go through it again. Working a lot protects him from failing again, or so he believes. The 2 of Spears is the head card, what lies in the surface, what he probably knows consciously. You see, this man is very indecisive, like he has said himself. He’s always feeling like he has to choose and he just can’t choose, he’s between two paths, he’s in the middle, and sometimes it can be a good thing, sometimes it may not be the best. It’s like he feels he has to choose between work and his home life as a whole too, and this is very hard. It’s confusing and he keeps trying to balance things.
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The Pair (The Lovers) is the root of the issue, what lies in his subconscious. This is an interesting card because it’s a card of choice the same way, but it also represents harmony, balance, the sides not really clashing, healthy relationships (between different sides, and it can be anything, between work and home life, between love and work, between work and friends, anything), and this man craves harmony, he craves things working in balance, like a choice he doesn’t really have to choose because things just work perfectly in synch. 9 of Spears is his Past influences, things he has been through that have informed his current decisions, things he’s been through that are influencing his feelings now but he needs to let them go because they are no longer his reality. That is over and he can free himself from this past. And this is a card of anxiety, of worries and pains, nightmares and depression. He’s felt all that, he’s been through so much anxiety about so many things and even maybe a struggle to sleep because of nightmares and anxiety. All that can stay in his past, what worried him in the past is over now, he can rest. Knight of Teacups is his future influences. He might deal with the situations too emotionally and not rationally. This card also represents love, affection, warmth and kindness, and this is how he will navigate the world. This Knight is Prince Charming, he is a gentleman, but he’s too emotional and sensitive and that might be a problem sometimes because he can be unstable (and emotionally unstable), he’s in movement, he’s a Knight.
7 of Flowers is his present moment, like an extension of the Significator card, and it points to him possibly going through conflict (like the Queen of Hedgehogs reversed? Between work and home life?) and he might also face challenges, internal and external conflict, and he’s gonna need to persevere. There might be rivals, haters, trolls, and he needs to be strong willed to navigate it all. It might be a turbulent moment, whether it’s internally or externally. Page of Spears is the way the people around him see him, friends and family and maybe everyone else, even if he doesn’t feel that way about himself, and this Page is one with the best intentions, always wanting to do his best and be his best, and willing to right his wrongs. Knight of Flowers represents his hopes and fears. You see, this is interesting because this Knight is that one we always link to him (Knight of Wands) because he is so intense and he gives all he’s got when he invests in something but his fire burns fast. And this could be a huge fear for him too, that all that he’s got now, what he’s given everything to achieve, can be so intense but disappear so fast. He fears this moment is fleeting, that he will lose it all, but at the same time he hopes everything is fleeting because he needs to change, he needs to be in movement.
The final card is Transformation (Death) and it’s the “final result”. Of course it’s not final final, it’s the result of the reading for the next months. This card makes me think of leaving the past behind and embracing the new. Pedro is always changing and he likes to change. Leave what needs to die behind so something new can be born. You’re no longer who you were before, you’re no longer going to go through those struggling times like you once did and for so long. Live and let die!
Well, that’s it, y’all! I will be back later for other birthday special readings for him 🤐. Whew! This one was A LOT of work!
Happy Birthday, Pedro, may all your wishes come true! 🎈🎁
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randomisemily · 10 months
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So, I’m a new mom.
Writing this on this blog, I can’t believe it. But this blog has been my rant blog for years and years. And it still is. Even when years have passed, crazy.
So yes, new mom. My baby girl is three weeks old tomorrow. And the reason I need to rant is because of my issues with breastfeeding.
My breastfeeding journey is short. But I love long stories, so I’ll start with the baby making process. No, it’s not that kind of blog. I mean, the journey. Because that was, in fact, quite a journey as well.
Before Covid, my husband and I got engaged. We were ready for marriage and after that, kids. I’m not “traditional” in the sense that I needed to be married before getting kids, it just made more sense to me. Practically, I wanted a typical big wedding and I knew I didn’t have planning skills (etc…) to put together a wedding while having a baby already. So, wedding first. Then babies!
We set the date in August 2020. But yes, Covid came along and yes, we had to postpone, at least, the party. We did actually get married that day. With 14 people in total to witness it.
We needed to wait to throw the party until the end of september 2021. Baby fever, however, did not wait.
The wedding finally happened and I threw out birth control as fast as I could. I even went to the doctor for a check up, right before the wedding. Forget getting my nails done, what’s up with my uterus?!
Trying to conceive, I quickly learned, is a whole thing in itself. Tracking your cycle. Finding your ovulation. And so forth. But I did it. And came to the conclusion: this is hard! I quickly became obsessed with my ovulation and trying to figure out the timing. After a few months of obsessively trying to conceive, I really felt like something was off. My cycle. What a long cycle did I have. For people who don’t know, on average a cycle is 28 days. Mine was often 35 days or longer. WEIRD.
Fast forward a few months and in April-May of 2022, I needed to put a hold on conceiving because of gall bladder surgery. I had known about this surgery since February, so it didn’t make sense for me to try and conceive for a few months. Bummer!
After the surgery, I went to see my OBGYN. It was about damn time there was a baby in my belly, I figured.
PCOS. That is what I have. And that’s why I couldn’t conceive. I was heartbroken. Sure, it wasn’t severe. But the future was so uncertain. Will I ever be a mom?! (If you read the first line of this long ass rant, you’ll know that I will).
There was a solution, however. Pills and check-up. It’s really not hard, if I look back at it. It’s not IVF, or anything. But oh god, it was still really tough. You take the pills. You wait. You go for check-ups, get your blood drawn, get the results and you have intercourse whenever THEY say you should. And then… you wait once more. Ha, what a joy. So, first cycle, nothing. Not even an egg growing. No ovulation. Just hormones all over the place. 2nd cycle: yes, I ovulated! No baby. Third cycle: A BABY!!! A red line appeared on my (many many many) tests!
What a relief. What a miracle. Incoming: baby on the way at the end of May! (Actually, she came on the first of June)
My pregnancy was smooth AF. First trimester was mostly me, a zombie. Wanting to sleep all day. Barely ever getting sick. One time, I was sick. And I also got the flu. That is all. In fact, I went on a trip to Madrid while 8 weeks pregnant. Had lots of fun and barely any symptoms.
My bump started to grow around 20 weeks. I was so exicted, yet also very insecure. What if people thought I couldn’t poop? That’s what the tiny bump looked like. I felt pregnant. I had been feeling kicks for a few weeks. But I didn’t look pregnant.
But that’s okay because the bump came around and I enjoyed every day. Even the days with heartburn. And even the ones where I felt like I couldn’t put shoes on anymore or shave my legs (and other parts).
If someone were to ask me to do it all over again, I would. It was wonderful.
I was a week late when I gave birth and I thought I’d get induced. In fact, me and my husband were SURE. So sure that we booked a table at the restaurant we went for dinner to celebrate me being pregnant. Yeahhh, we had to cancel, of course. Stupid us. Labor was fine. Painful. Traumatic. And all that. But fine. I mean, I ended up with a baby. Puked three times and fainted on the toilet seat. But I got a baby!!!!
AND HERE COMES THE BREAST FEEDING PART
So, I had always expressed wanting to breast feed. I don’t know, seems like the normal thing to do. Nine months, my baby had been eating what I was eating. I thought I wanted to continue. And create that bond.
From the start, though, it was painful. My nipples were bleeding. And by the time I left the hospital, I was almost scared to let my baby near my boobs. Here is the thing: I was informed. Breastfeeding didn’t have secrets for me. So I thought. Nobody tells you that your 3 day old baby can cause blood gushing from your nipples. A midwife told me: “you think she has teeth, right?” Jokingly, ha ha ha. Yes, she seems to be a vampire. That’s for sure.
The first day home, she didn’t want to eat. The 7 AM feedtime turned into the 1 PM feed time. The hours in between, screaming and crying. And not just her.
With a lot of help from my midwife, she finally had her breakfast and lunch. And we found a solution for the pain, as well as why she wouldn’t want to eat, etc.
The weekend came around and the midwife weighed my baby. She gained weight! Yaay!
Come Tuesday, she had lost a massive amount of weight. I was in shock. What the actual???
Breastfeeding hadn’t been going great. She wasn’t the best at it, I wasn’t the best at it. But it had been going, you know? Yet, she didn’t gain weight. She dropped weight. My tiny baby was losing weight and she didn’t have a cute thick belly but you could see her ribs. Man, I cried.
The next few days were terrifying. We decided to add formula to her feeding schedule, so she’d gain the weight. And she finally did. But the breastfeeding was getting tougher and tougher. At a certain point, I breast fed her for 20+ minutes, my husband gave her a bottle and while he was doing that, I was pumping. That whole ordeal took 45+ minutes and we had to do it all over again every two hours. My husband felt like a washing machine, I felt like a milk cow.
The pumping wasn’t working and my husband had to go back to work so we switched to the combo of breast/formula at the beginning of this week.
Yet, soon enough, she wouldn’t drink anymore. Was I afraid she’d lose the weight again? No, we had formula now. But God, I was TIRED.
And so was my body. I needed to give it a rest. I realized I barely make enough milk for her to get fed once a day. And she needs it 8 times a day.
I am heartbroken and releived at the same time. I needed to learn how to enjoy my baby without the dread of feeding time. And I have. I love her so much. But man, the mom guilt is real. The fact she doesn’t get to taste the food I eat every day. The fact I can’t give her what she needs now that she’s not inside me anymore. It could eat me up. But, I’m writing it off. She’s thriving on formula. Her belly is full every day. And she’s happy. I’m letting it go.
And I can’t wait to tell her how her first three weeks of her life were like. 🥰
The truth about breastfeeding is, it’s hard. It can be wonderful. I wholeheartly believe that. I do. I always will. But for me, it just wasn’t. I now feed her in a lot less time and, after she’s fed, she sleeps on my belly or in my arms. I don’t know if I’d trade anymore.
I was so informed and had so much help. Which I am so grateful for. But no one prepared me for when breastfeeding just doesn’t work.
You know, come to think of it. The same thing goes for trying to conceive. I was informed and knew all about my cycle. When to try. How to try. But at the end of the day, no one informed me about the devestation of when it doesn’t work.
I guess this is just a rant. But listen, if someone does read this: it’s all worth it. Trying to conceive. Worth it. Pregnancy and labor: worth it. And yes, breastfeeding was worth it as well. If I wouldn’t have tried…. I wouldn’t have known.
And at the end of the day, I love her so much.
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tiffgosmol · 1 year
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my journey so far ♡
~ January 30th ~
i started restricting , no real goal except eat as little calories as possible.
i made a google spreadsheet and wrote down everything i ate!!! ~ ♡ it rly helped me stay motivated
~ February 6th ~
the first week i lost like 2kg !!♡ mightve been water weight or other things but it felt soooo good.
~ March 2nd ~
this is the day i hit my lw of my journey, at 60.7kg. it felt so amazing being close to under 60!!!!
~ March 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th ~
these days were so bad. 2700, 1500, 1800 and 3100 calories, in that order. this was so unmotivating, i stopped tracking.
i didn't completely give up of course, but by this point i was feeling really unwell. i think it was partly because of the birth control i started taking, it made me feel ill a lot.
~ March ## ~
my birthday!!!!!! of course this day was full of calories , same with the weekend when i celebrated with my family.
i didnt eat to treat myself, i ate bc it was what was expected of me, i did it to avoid suspicions!!! </3
~ March 31st ~
spring break. f#ck!!!
the two main things keeping my journey going well was being in control of whether or not (not) i would eat breakfast before school and lunch at school
on break, i lose that control. my parents know exactly what i eat and my sister has struggled with food before, she knows all of the signs. it was impossible to restrict.
then of course there was easter. celebrated at home, with my family, with my boyfriends family!?! . so much chocolate...
and i was also at a house party!!! fun right lol. plenty of calz in alchy :( and in the mcdonalds and the snacks and ughhh!!!!!
~ April 12th ~
finally, school starts up again. restricting is no longer an issue, only on weekends :)
would've had an okay day yesterday but my stupid friend bought an entire baguette and hnnngh!!!! i wuuuuv white bread!!!!!
but then it was going smoothly, i went home, bought tuna, made a tuna mayo sandwich (carbs and fat wtf?) (~400 cal) and omg protein rly is filling. i felt so satiated and so i was dancing and trynna kill some energy (and cals durrr♡) but i still didnt get hungry!!!!
but then -.- my parents buy a fatty ass mayo sandwich cake (swedish thing) and expect me to eat the whole thing. meh!!!!!! u think thats bad? they had a surprise treat for dessert. mf donut
~ TODAY!!! ~
im bloggin cause i feel gggggrreat! didnt eat anything and :D yay♡
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snowmaniaph · 1 year
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Fighting Spirit! Snow Man
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A passionate heart silently burning behind their smiling faces...
With the annual play “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022” being on stage starting in April, we asked Snow Man about the fighting spirit they don’t usually get to show.
Raul
My fighting power: 2 stars
In the first place, I think I don’t have that much fighting spirit and thoughts of “I want to win”. There is no right way to perform in this kind of work, and there is no 1st or 2nd place. I think it would be nice if we could stay true to ourselves.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
At any rate, “Takizawa Kabuki” is a challenge of stamina. That’s why I want to win this mental and physical fight. One of my problems is that I become cold and blunt to other people once my mental state weakens and I lose my composure. Everyone is really working hard so I would be happy if you could warmly look after us and send us cheers of encouragement.
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Meguro Ren
My fighting power: 5 stars
Not just 5 stars, but probably about 7 stars. I do think that it would be over for me if I lose my fighting spirit. I also aim to pause and think, and not get too heated up during things like discussions.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
I thought “this season has come again”. Takizawa Kabuki is an important place for us so we intend to face the challenge of presenting something new while firmly keeping the core of the work. Like how the senpais before us did, I want to make a performance that will make even the kouhais we’re sharing the stage with feel something while watching us.
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Abe Ryohei
My fighting power: 5 stars
My individual fighting ability isn’t much, but I reach the maximum because SnowMan compensates for my lack of it. With these 9 members, it feels like we can show our fans a new landscape.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
Last year, I was very frustrated that some performances were canceled because of the corona pandemic. I’m praying that we can finish all the performances this time without incident. And also, with the chivalrous spirit that all performers who take on the challenge of Takizawa Kabuki possess, I will give my best to provide energy to everyone in the world.
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Miyadate Ryota
My fighting power: 4.5 stars
I hate losing. Red, my member color, might be imbued with fighting spirit. But lately, I’ve started to think that it depends on what you perceive as winning or losing. I try to see the good side.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
I like the world of “Takizawa Kabuki”, and I spent a long time learning in that place. We treasure the fact that we are inheriting Takizawa Kabuki from Takizawa (Hideaki)-kun in its ZERO form, and I will do my best so that feeling is conveyed to the audience. I am also most excited because I would probably learn something new this time too!
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Iwamoto Hikaru
My fighting power: 5 stars
My fighting spirit, the part that does a lot of things I want to do through willpower and stubbornness, is strong. I don’t want to use “I have no time” as an excuse so I finish what I want to do even if I have to cut down my time for sleep.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
Like last year, my birthday this year also falls on the day after the last performance for Takizawa Kabuki. That’s why I plan to work as hard as I can to enjoy my last stage as a 28-year old. It’s a totally different performance from the movie “Osomatsu-san”, so I want people to watch the movie in theaters and enjoy the gap between the two.
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Sakuma Daisuke
My fighting power: 23 stars
It’s because I want to enjoy everything. My fighting spirit comes from my ability to have fun. I want to keep improving my ability to enjoy and, in turn, make others enjoy too. 23 is a number that came to my mind through inspiration.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
I think there are more people who think “Takizawa Kabuki? Is that SnowMan’s?”, and on the other hand, there are people who came to know SnowMan through Takizawa Kabuki and are anticipating the next stage play. I will give my best effort so that everyone from both groups can feel immersed in the worldview of the story.
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Watanabe Shota
My fighting power: 1.5 stars
During today’s shoot, I realized that I don’t have much fighting spirit (laughs). I think I might have 3 or 4 stars before but I changed as the years passed. I am basically a pacifist, so I might not really like categorizing things into winning or losing.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
I want to show my growth and dignity as someone who has been doing Takizawa Kabuki since his Jr. days and has now inherited the show. It has been 3years since we debuted. I have to make them think “they look magnificent on stage”. And, even though we are in times like this, I want everyone who bought tickets to safely enjoy the show until the end.
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Mukai Koji
My fighting power: 4 stars
It’s because I am never satisfied with the current state of things, and I’m always thinking of wanting to try something new. Even without putting my feelings into words, the fighting spirit I kept to myself is enough. I think I am greedy regarding work.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
I have my fighting spirit born from the fact that we are inheriting a traditional stage, and it has always been my intention to work my hardest. I like the henmen performance (t/n: face/ mask change, a performance from classical Chinese theater) so I’d like to do that again if possible. I can do whatever facial expression I want inside the mask. I really like that I can go on stage without my face being seen! (laughs).
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Fukazawa Tatsuya
My fighting power: 5 stars
My fighting style isn’t the power type, but the type that has a good feel for when to retreat and when to attack. Like someone who hasn’t done anything but somehow wins. Actually, things just naturally go well.
I would do my best in this part in “Takizawa Kabuki ZERO 2022”!
We’re being allowed to be the main again this year so I will put all my strength to do the performance. It’s just that doing fukkin taiko is already getting tough that’s why I’ve thought of doing things like trying to ask Takizawa-kun to not include me in that segment (laughs). Please look forward to the gap between SnowMan’s live stages and this performance!  
Source: Potato 04/2022
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mary-is-writing · 1 year
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End of the Year Recap – 2022
This has certainly been a year, hasn't it?
In the spirit of this being the last month of the year, I thought about doing a small recap of what this year has been for me in here and my writing. I have famously bad memory (thanks adhd) so I'm probably gonna miss some things here and there, but I'll try my best to remember as much as I can. So, let's go on a trip down memory lane!!
In the beginning - Starting 2022
I had a good start of the year, followed by the breath of fresh air that 2021 was for me. We we're still in quarantine but around March/April we went back to in-person interactions, so there was a lot of moving during those months. Around that time is where the first very important thing of the year happened: I finished draft 2 of The Monsters Only We See, my standalone wip, as well as starting to look for more beta readers. I have to admit, I haven't followed o the whole beta-ing of the wip as I should, but I want to continue it, specially with me continuing the English translation.
I also started said translation roughly after finishing draft 2, and like I said, I haven't been the best at keeping up with it. But I still have time while I look up how to get the money to register it and where/how to share it, mainly digitally but also maybe physically.
A very special month - June 2022
This year's main highlight for sure: on June 9th I finished the first draft of Book 1 of Where Camellias Blossom, my fantasy trilogy. Man I was so happy. This was my second time experiencing finishing a draft (the first one being TMOWS) and there really is something so special to watch a project's phase be complete. It's a mix of the ecstasy of "holy crap I did it!!", a nostalgia for the journey walked and the comfort of a path in the back for finishing it. I think the experience of writing the first draft is unique, it doesn't compare to doing the 2nd or the 3rd.
I started the first draft for Book 2 and I already have notes for changes to draft 2 of Book 1 in order to keep the continuity 😅 so I'm looking forward to both continuing the draft of Book 2 and coming back to work on Book 1.
Guys I think we're getting burnout - July to October 2022
Y'know, in retrospective think I might have wasted all of my energy on finishing the first draft of WCB Book 1. There isn't a lot to say about this months because I didn't do a lot. Most of what I did here was continuing the work with the wips I had, throw there are two important things that happened on October:
1) I finished the 3rd draft of TMOWS. It was easier and I'm very happy with this as the last version. Maybe I'll do some tweaks here and there if I get to have a few more beta readers, but I like the structure and the plot the way they are now.
2) I started Little Shadows, my horror podcast!! I had the idea for it since months ago and decided to do it just in time for spooky season, with it premiering on Halloween. I've been wanting to do something with YouTube for the longest time, and free realizing video essays would take a lot of work that I wasn't willing to put into them, I decided something like this, short format and focused on writing, would be the best option. I'm very happy that I'm doing it and I wanna keep it up, since I have ideas for where the overarching story will go later.
Hoo boi - November 2022
I was very excited for Nanowrimo this year since I wanted to use it to write the 1st draft of Book 2 of WCB, but in the end I barely wrote +4K words. Guys, I was not feeling it at all. It was like all the stress and work for the semester in college suddenly hit me and wouldn't stop hitting me until the month was over, a few days ago. Sadly, Nano was a miss, but not everything was lost:
I finished the first volume of my comic, The Demon in My House. At 129 pages, this little hobby of mine is now long enough to fill a complete volume if I ever printed it, and that makes me so, so proud. I've tried making comics before, short and long format, and this is the first one I feel I can really commit to. I've never done so much for one, and I'm only getting started. The story I have planned for this is really long, so we'll see how many volumes I end up filling, haha. But it also makes me happy and proud cause it shows I can do what I set my mind into, and I hope I get to finish it one day and reread it from begining to end to see the story completed. For now, it's all baby steps towards the next plot point.
And now, at the end - December 2022
If I'm honest, I don't think I'll write a lot this month either. I'll continue drawing for TDIMH, sure, but as for advancing my writing wips... yeah, not happening. This semester was weird and we're gonna finish it on January next year instead of this month, which means I'm gonna have homework for vacations 😩 Plus, I wanna rest. I just. I really wanna rest. And this being the last month of the year is the perfect excuse for it.
Overall, this has been a good year for my writing. A lot of highs and lows, but very much productive. I also wanna appreciate all of you who remained with me this year or that came here for the first time and have decided to walk alongside me. Thank you!! Your interactions and interest have been helping me a lot in not giving up midway with my writing.
Happy holidays, happy soon-to-be new year and happy writing!!
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keefwho · 12 days
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April 18 - 2024 Thursday
11:05pm
5.5/10
Overnight I woke up about 5 times, my pulled shoulder hurt a ton no matter what position I was in. I had some common melancholic dreams. This morning I woke up with the intention of staying in bed. But I knew that wouldn't help and I wasn't feeling THAT bad anymore, I had gotten it out of my system the night before. I skipped cleaning this morning. I took a loooong shower. For breakfast I made a jimmy dean sandwich and rice like yesterday. I didn't want to eat but I knew I had to and it's pretty easy to make.
I started work mostly on time. I warmed with deer sketches. Then I cranked out 2 hours of work on the Venus comic without distraction because mom was gonna take me to the store right after. I talked about wanting to cut down on swearing and was essentially told that was stupid which I stood my ground on because it is OPINION. I'd like to come off less as confrontational.
Mom took me to the store and told me about getting in contact with her long lost sister. At the store I got drinks and a huge bag of uncooked chicken strips and nuggets. The cashier my age asked if I had enough chicken and I told her I eat this every single night. I wasn't sure what more conversation to make, I want to think of something for next time. Something to actually talk about.
When I got back, I spent my lunch playing VRchat in the probability labs game. I joined a furry group instance that was annoying, then joined a much better one. Someone there caught my attention, this 25 year old babysitter who was actually speaking normally so I made conversation with her and her 2 friends, they were all nice. Before leaving I got the go ahead to friend request. For lunch I had made tuna spaghetti and a fruit cup.
I did my afternoon work in VC with TK, her boyfriend, and NJ. Pretty casual time, I got my work done after a little bit. Then I moved onto working on my Mr Bean world. TK was fascinated watching me work in Blender. Also she's only seen the 2nd Mr Bean so I insisted we have a movie night to watch the first. They had to leave about when I was done working.
I asked DS to play horse game tonight. I grinded a little while I waited. When she joined we did some horse catching and got to the next island. She also showed me some really funny clips of horse dressage. In bed we cleared puzzles, read 4 whole chapters of Monster High that were really good, and finished the Little Mermaid world in KH2. I started Agrabah and had a lot of trouble activating a really simple switch puzzle because I had to do it from a certain angle.
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reiisan · 24 days
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WHITE SCORPION RELAY INTERVIEW - ACE
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WHITE SCORPION released their 5th digital single "Satisfaction graffiti" on April 7, attracting a lot of attention as an 11-member idol group produced by Yasushi Akimoto, who was selected through the IDOL 3.0 PROJECT audition. Since their debut with "Eyes on the Sniper," they have released a series of digital singles every month, and this is the fifth in the series. The girls were still a little primitive when they debuted, but they have shown remarkable growth in the past four months. We asked the girls about their thoughts on this album and the changes that have taken place since their debut. The interview will be delivered in a relay format. First up is ACE.
-Looking back from your debut to the present, were there any impressive events or changes or growth in yourself?
I have felt the changes and growth in myself during the course of my activities. Before I became an idol, I would wake up late every day around noon, go to school, had a part-time job, and went out with my family and friends on my days off. Thankfully, I was able to change that daily routine and started taking lessons and filming from the day I passed the auditions, which kept me busy and gave me many new experiences. I felt that I gained a lot from the music video shoots in particular. I can really feel the passion of the people who are involved in the project, and we would practice seriously so that we can produce great results. We do shootings from morning till night, and whenever I look at the finished music video, I'll be touched by it, I'll also find a new side of myself with a happy expression. At first, there was a part of me that was happy my dream that I had been chasing for a long time had finally come true, but as get to know the people involved, I realized that I should not be complacent and that I should continue to work hard. I no longer have the need to tell my mother on the phone that I am weak, or that I feel depressed because of how boring everyday is. I think that is growth.
-You had many big events such as TV appearances and TGC since. Could you tell us how it went? Also, what did those experiences mean to you?
I had many opportunities to appear on TV with "Eyes on the Sniper" right after my debut, but since it had only been a short time since my debut, at first it felt like a dream come true. I was influenced by the responses I received after the show aired and by the people I had the opportunity to work with, and now I am determined to steadily seize each opportunity. I was really surprised to appear in TGC. It was something I had been aiming to do someday, so I was very happy, but at the same time, I was very excited to be on such a big stage like Yoyogi National Gymnasium.
When I thought about how to promote ourselves to people who don't know us, I thought that a performance in which we give our all and work hard would win the hearts of the audience. I remember Ally, who was standing in the front with me, patting me on the back when I was nervous, and that really motivated me to do my best.
-There has been many song releases and I think that you have been able to show many different sides through the songs. Please choose one of the songs and tell us about which part that has impressed you the most. Please also tell us how the song affected the group, the members, and yourself.
It is very difficult to choose one song because they are all so wonderful and attractive.... I think that the 2nd song " The Coyotes Are Calling" is the song that had a greatest impact on me and the group. After the 1st single “Eyes on the Sniper”, I decided to spread WHITE SCORPION to as many people as possible! At that time, I received my first singing and solo part. When I saw the choreography video, I was filled with joy, but at the same time, I also felt anxious. I cried a lot, out of frustration when I couldn't hit the high notes due to nervousness during the first performance. Now, I have gradually gained more confidence and can able to sing with pride. I wonder if I am growing together with this song? I think. It's a song that is very popular with both the fans and the members, so I'm really happy and grateful to have been given this song.
--How do you see the current state of White Scorpion and yourself after having gone through all those things? If there have been any changes since your debut, please tell us about them as well.
Although we are still far from WHITE SCORPION's goals of “worldwide” and “dome performances,'' the number of people coming to our monthly release events is increasing, and our songs are starting to be played at various stores. I feel like we're making a lot of progress, so I want everyone to work together and not be too satisfied with the current situation. As for myself, I'm still figuring it out. I don't fully understand my position in the group, my character, or my abilities, so I want to focus on what's in front of me with all my might. I'm thinking that by doing this, not just myself, but the fans and staff who watch me around will be able to find my true self.
--What are your thoughts on the new song "Satisfaction graffiti" and what are the impressive lyrics?
All four of our songs so far have been amazing, so I listened to the preview with high expectations. "Satisfaction graffiti", which starts with an electronic-like sound, is the most shocking song I've ever heard. I thought that the lyrics, which depict the struggle between being an adult and a child, would resonate with many people. In particular, the first chorus, "I don't care if I get hurt, just ruin everything…" and "I want you to return this love sometime somewhere," are amazing and my favorite lyrics because they are both sad yet strong and willful.
--How was the choreography, music video shooting, and recording? What were some of the difficulties or hardships you faced, what did you discuss with the members, or what did you practice by yourself?
"Satisfaction graffiti" is a song where detailed accents and rhythms are important, so I listened to it many times and wrote a lot in my notebook before the day of recording, but I struggled with different nuances and different ways of putting accents. Many members said that this song was the most difficult. Both regarding the choreography and MV filming, the period between the choreography and the shooting was really short, and there were many changes made to the music video, so we tried our best to keep our heads working. I even watched the video until the few minutes before the start of the shoot. The speed of the choreography was really fast, and I managed to keep up with it, so I feel that I have really grown compared to when I first started.
-What do you think this song will mean to the group? What new thoughts, goals, or dreams have you developed through these songs?
I think this song "Satisfaction graffiti" is a song that will help spread WHITE SCORPION to many people. With lyrics that many people can relate to, a sound that makes you want to listen to it over and over again, and a striking and cool music video in black and white. I think that if there is a chance, this song will explode with popularity. We were given a really great song, and I will do my best to seize this opportunity. I want to let many people know about WHITE SCORPION and get closer to my dream of expanding overseas and performing in domes. I would also like to repay all the fans who have always supported us and stood by our side.
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caffeinatedkylie · 29 days
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Diary 007
2nd April 2024
Been another rough stretch of days. I am really struggling with my sleep schedule, and it’s making a lot of other things difficult. Finally started to force a cycle reset with Benadryl, which I should have started weeks ago if I’m honest with myself.
I’m also dealing with an administrative headache at school— essentially, I’m fully accepted like I thought (didn’t have any doubts there, as I did receive an acceptance letter), but somehow I fell through the cracks after that and have received zero follow up communication. Like, my transfer credit evaluation still isn’t done (it’s been over a week since I noticed I wasn’t seeing my credits and re-sent transcripts) and I don’t have an advisor assigned. So been emailing about that, will probably suck it up and get on the phone today. (I don’t start classes again until mid-May and I have a lot of flexibility in what I take that first session, so it’s not going to cause issues with registration; just a hurdle that I need to summon the energy to jump.)
I still haven’t gotten a lot done around the house re: putting storage furniture together and getting things unpacked, but I think this is something I can fix with a strategy adjustment. I’ve been focusing on the things I need to get done, which is mostly large tasks like assembling a dresser and washing/putting away several loads’ worth of laundry, which is overwhelming. I think I need to start with smaller things that I want to do, like getting my office drawers put together and my coffee maker set up, to get the momentum ball rolling. So those are on my list for these next couple days.
And next week I get a little mini-vacation! My boyfriend and I are going to Atlanta for a quick trip to see an NBA game and a handful of tourist-y sights. I’m getting a couple disposable cameras to take with us, because I’m really feeling the 35mm fever but I haven’t settled on a camera and don’t want to rush the decision. I’m so excited about this trip! I bought the NBA tickets for our anniversary in January and he made a lot of the plans for the other things we’re doing, and it’s gonna be so fun.
So, not a lot to report in terms of progress, but a few ideas about how to move forward, and a super exciting bright spot on the forecast to look forward to.
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supposed2bemom · 10 months
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This year has been a bunch of highs and lows.
Highs:
- fell in love
-moved in together
- got pregnant
- got married
- got a dog
Lows:
- lost my 1st dog to bone cancer
- lost my pregnancy - blighted ovum
- new puppy isn’t feeling well
- mothers health is failing
It’s just a lot to take in such a short timeframe.
If you had ask me last year where I’d be in 5 years, I can guarantee you my answer would not had included any of the above info. Somewhere around 30 I came to the conclusion that children weren’t in my future. Did I want them? 100% yes. But I had pcos, I’m overweight, hadn’t been a successful relationship for a while, sister had fertility issues…. All signs pointed towards me not having children of my own. And I decided then to accept it. It would hurt less then blindly believing the impossible could happen. Bc with the exception of getting knocked up by a one night stand, the fairy tale wasn’t gonna happen in a timely manner. I wasn’t gonna meet someone and date a year or two before he decided he wanted to get engaged, then be engaged for 1-2 years before the wedding, then be newly weds 1-2 years before considering trying for kids. If I had started dating someone the day I turned 30, I wouldn’t be trying to get pregnant until 36, a geriatric pregnancy if I was able to get pregnant. I accepted I wasn’t gonna get to have my dream of a child, or a family. Maybe I’d be lucky enough to fall in love tho.
Then 2023 came around and shook me to my core. Fell in love April. May lost my 12 year old Boston terrier, my first child basically. Somewhere in there got pregnant while having my new man move in with me. June found out I was pregnant, didn’t really get engaged - just decided we were getting married two weeks after the positive test. Got married, did a sneak peek test for baby’s sex and found out it was a girl, got on his insurance, made the doctors appt. First appt was lame and didn’t do much. Had to wait for 2nd appt for our first ultrasound. July found out that lil baby I got soo excited over having, wasn’t going to be coming. I had a blighted ovum , basically means either the embryo never developed or stopped developing at sometime. The baby basically aborted itself due to some chromosome abnormalities. Doctor said he thought the baby stopped developing 2-3 weeks before. Idk if that’s the truth or if he said that to make the blow easier. I’m choosing to believe it. I’m choosing to believe I had a lil girl for those 10 weeks. I found out at 5 weeks I was pregnant. I basically got to be a mom for those 5 weeks until my ultrasound said otherwise. Had to break the news to family. Thankfully my husband was great with that. It killed my mom. I know we lost a huge opportunity, but losing the baby basically took my moms will to live away. She had just gotten fired and received bad health news as well. Then I had to wait 4 days for the miscarriage to arrive. It arrived on the same day I got a new puppy. Had to deal with my miscarriage while also welcoming a new puppy to the picture that’s dehydrated and tired. Currently nursing her and seeing the vet in the morning.
During the whole weekend, as I cried my eyes out over losing my child, the one I thought I’d never have, the one I was afraid to get excited over because I feared the possibility of a miscarriage. I cried for the future that was stolen from us. We were supposed to be parents. It was my turn to be a mom. I cried because I wasn’t going to get to be a mother. I realized after having that hope of motherhood, being the cool aunt wasn’t enough anyone. Everyone told me to look on the bright side, at-least we know I can get pregnant. You can try again. My husband told me we’d try again. However this morning I spoke with him and I’m starting to realize, it may not be in his best interest. I told him I wanted to try again in like 2 months or so, and I assumed he was on board with this as well. Like he was the one that reminded me constantly we can try again. But the toll of being the strong one for us these past two months has gotten to him. It doesn’t help that we have two totally different vibes. I’m go with the flow, the laundry pile will get done eventually. And he’s structure and anal retentive. Not having everything in perfect order was slowly killing him. He worries about everything at once, I want to live in the moment and enjoy the now. He told me about all the stress I put on him during the 5 weeks I got to be a mom, and it appears my fatigued ass didn’t help his anal retentive habits enough and now he doesn’t want to try until all these goals are meet. He seems to think we have time. And I 100% don’t think we do. If we don’t strike now while the iron is hot, we’ll miss the only opportunity to jump back into parenthood.
Today I have an appt at the baby doctor. It was to originally scan and confirm the baby wasn’t coming, a courtesy to me. However it’s obvious after all the blood. So I’m assuming we’ll check to see how I’m doing after the miscarriage, talk about getting my health in order and future possibilities. I’m taking the apt bc it was already made…. But I’m fairly confident I won’t be needing the information. If I get pregnant again, I know I can’t fight the fatigue…. And I can’t put my husband thru that again. I don’t want to lose my marriage over a maybe situation.
So… instead of being Cody’s mom (Boston terrier) or Keira’s mom (that’s what we were gonna name our baby)…. I’m just Roxy’s mommy from now on. And it’s time I accepted that.
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The Epilogue of Q1 (10.05.23)
April started with a baggage. Help! I haven’t written this for so long that I don’t know where to begin. 
The entire first week of April is all about IELTS test. I was panicking. Suddenly, I was a teenager preparing for a test again. I feel like I was starting everything from scratch. I watched a lot of IELTS videos. I was taking mock tests and the result was that satisfying, I was childish to aim for 8.0 band score when I prepared for like less than 3 weeks. I did the same thing and expected a different result. 
The thing was, I also had to do a field visit to Pursat just 3 days before the test. It wasn’t ideal but there was no other suitable time. I also had to take 2 days leave. The field visit was okay. I got to meet farmers and stepped out of my comfort zone. 
I also started talking to a guy who was my online crush. He suddenly replied to my story when I was on training for CAST. it He came back from Australia for a training. The thing is, I never knew whether someone really likes me or just bored, but aren’t we all bored and alone and need company from others? Isn’t it the nature of humans? Why should I let it bother me this much? 
I kinda went on a date with him after the IELTS test. He was asking me to go to the gym with him for awhile. I didn’t expect that. That we ended up going to massage spa. The first time I met him, he really made us strip to our underwear on the first meet. Help! He has a good body I must say. We also had dinner. He promised me to take me to Tastemania seafood if I ever go to Malborne. Help! The result was out and I got 7.5 on IELTS! Well, I was pretty okay with the result. I mean that’s pretty good for a 3 weeks preparation. I also did apply for AFP again. I keep telling myself not to let it define my whole self-worth like every failure didn’t crumble me into pieces. It still drained me so much I must say. That was also the week of Khmer New Year! The third week of April was a little calm week before the storm again. I was preparing for AAS essays and also the training at Pursat & Vietnam. I must say there were a lot of things to prepare regardless how small the training was. 
I didn’t finish the AAS by the time I went to Pursat. I’m disappointed but not surprised with myself! The slides I did was okay. We went to Pursat and I must say it went better I expected. 
I did my training on the 2nd day morning and it was pretty good. It was about Telegram and messaging app. I was half asleep all the time because b P made me stay with him revising the slides until 1AM!  It was better than the training I did with CAST for real! I should celebrate myself for a small victory! 
We had like 2 days of Rest, before going to Vietnam for the “training”. well, for real I need 2 separate blogs for these 2 experiences. The experience was torturous for real, but after finishing AAS and Pursat training, I felt like it was the end of something already. The journey to Vietnam was whether a field visit or staycation.  And now, I’m back to reality again. The energy surge from the trip is still there a bit I guess that’s why I keep doing this or that.  The most significant event this month was able to meet and talk with 3 seniors I guess. It was b SSD, B PS, B PN... I got to hear their stories and perspectives. It was something I always lack when I was in university. It’s always good to go out there talk to people and see perspectives instead of being trapped in my own mind maze.  I think life keeps teaching me hard this month about the importance of communication and networking. It could really bring you places. I tried my best.  Throwback, I did quite significant things in this first 4 months. I re-started Tik Tok account and reached 1.3K followers. I did my first freelance work, I did NRD2023, I did the side projects like TEBBY merch, did my first external presentation twice, did the project with farmers... It was small and small steps still count, right? for the Q2, I just hope to continue all those and looking forward to other stuff.  That’s all I could think of but definitely there are stuff running in the background of my mind. 
My motto I tried to live is “Don’t be a fraction of who you could be”. 
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vampireantihero · 1 year
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And in a blink, March is gone.
Good morning, everyone! I hope you’re all doing well today. We’re already through the first quarter of 2023; can you believe it? This year has been incredibly challenging and it’s flying by faster than I’d like to admit. Before I get into the details of today’s newsletter, let’s look at this weeks’ schedule:
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As you can see, the schedule looks slightly different this week. This is because I’m taking a break from streaming art this week! I was extremely busy throughout March and, where I’ll still be working on stuff off of stream, I want to be able to chill this week. I’m also redoing a bunch of illustrations this week to fit better with how my skills are improving, and I don’t want to bore y’all with what I’m doing. Going forward, I may do something a little different with my streams. I’m still thinking over the logistics. Which brings me to my first topic.
Streams, This Week and Ongoing
So lately I know I’ve been pushing hard with my art streams, and canceling a lot. I don’t want to be the guy who cancels all the time and leaves you all disappointed. So, I think I might start treating my streams a little differently. For now, I’m going to play it by ear, but I think what I’ll wind up doing is start playing some more games, and if I have a pressing deadline or feel like drawing I’ll start with art and switch to a game afterwards. I can still only commit to two days a week, but weekend streams may pop up a little more often if I’ve got the time and the brain to.
Like I said, the art streams aren’t going away! I vastly enjoy them, but I also miss gaming with y’all and I want to be able to do both. A lot of what I’m making lately has been big, sweeping projects that take quite a lot of time to put together and I’m sure they’re not the most fun to watch. I’ve also been working a lot on improving my art skills, which isn’t something that I generally do on stream because it can look like a lot of repeating boxes, repetitive drawings of certain things, or daily studies. I can start doing these on stream if y’all are interested in that, or what that is, but I’ve always felt this kind of weird pressure to do original work and do big work on stream. That could just be me being too critical or worried about what others think. In any case, moving on to the next topic before I go too far off on this tangent.
Resident Evil Marathon
Over on Twitch yesterday, I did a pop-up stream playing the new Resident Evil 4 Remake. As I was playing, we hit the 100k channel points challenge, and so my next marathon is scheduled! Because I love the RE remakes so much and because I enjoy playing them with you all, we’re going to play them again. RE2 Remake, RE3 Remake, and RE4 remake will all be games we play that day, and it’s going to be as long as I can play. Because I have rehearsals saturday night and don’t want to really put a cap on it, I’ll be doing this Sunday, April 2nd over on Twitch! There will be an event in the Discord as a reminder, and I’ll also make a banner about it to post on socials. It’s sure to be a fun time, and I hope you’ll all join me for the ride!
Q2 Art Goals/ Portfolio Revamp
So, we’re quickly moving into the 2nd Quarter of the year. The first quarter of the year was incredibly stressful and gave me a lot of delays, but also made me realize some things. I realized how much I was trying to do that ultimately doesn’t matter or fit my end goals. So, this week I’ll be working on re-adjusting those goals for the 2nd quarter of the year. I’ve realized that I don’t want to create things to sell to people, to create products for products’ sake, but a lot of what I was pushing towards was creating products for products’ sakes. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll still have my merch store open, and my print on demand sites available, but I’ll be changing how I approach them. I’ll be adding things I’ve made to the shops instead of making things to add into the shops.
I’ve also been freelancing for private sector commissions for three years now, and it’s with a heavy heart that I’m announcing that I’ll likely be moving away from that path. I would like to either freelance for studio or corporate projects, or work with a studio. I’ll be keeping my commissions open, but I’ll be revamping the structure and making it easier to grab things ahead of time. I’ll also be paring down what I offer.
I’m the meantime, I’ll be developing a few projects to update my portfolio heading more towards the direction that I want to go with my art. I want to design creatures, architecture, and props. I think that’s where I want to focus. So, look for that throughout the 2nd quarter of the year.
Ko-Fi/Sub Reward Changes
Currently, I have the Ko-Fi set up to where early releases, extra polls and perks, and a wallpaper will be given every month. The other stuff will be continuing, but the wallpapers are going away after I finish the 16 for this month. Instead, I’ll be posting hi-resolutions of the drawings I do as I finish things. These might be as low as once a month and as high as multiple a month depending on what I’m doing. I’ll also post my extra studies, and any tutorials I put together to sell will be available to monthly subscribers for free. I hope that that’s acceptable for you all. I don’t want to rush something out, I’d rather give you guys things that you’re excited for and things that I’m excited to work on.
Closing Thoughts
So, that’s all for this week! I know that this was a longer update, but I hope that you’re all excited for the things to come, and that these changes aren’t upsetting for anyone. At the end of the day, I’m one person, and I need to know how much I can realistically do in a week, in a month, in a quarter. I always tell you all to do what you can; I need to follow my own advice. So, I love you all. I hope that you all take care of yourselves this lovely spring week. Drink your water, and do what you can.
See y’all on Twitch on Tuesday for some games.
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