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specialagentlokitty · 2 months

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Carol Danvers x teen!reader - be yourself

Hi! Can I ask for familial figure Carol Danvers story please where Reader is non-binary, and their family is very phobic to queer stuff, and so R runs away and Carol takes them in? - Anon💜

TW: mentions of unaccepting family

Standing in your living room, you took a look at your parents and you took a small breath.

“I uh.. I just wanted to tell you guys something…” you said quietly.

You mom smiled at you.

“Of course, what is it?”

Taking a deeper breath, you glanced away, running a hand up and down your arm nervously.

“I’m non binary…”

“Huh?” Your dad said.

Both of them sat up, looking at you sternly, and you subconsciously took a step back from them.

“I’m non binary… I Uhm… I don’t really feel like I identify as male or female… like they just don’t feel right…”

“Get that shit out of your head.” Your dad snapped.

You snapped your gaze to him in pure shock.

“There is no such thing! You were born as what you are so that’s what you are! You can’t change that!” Your mom yelled.

You felt tears burning your eyes as you listened to them go on and on about how it wasn’t right, how none of it was right and that you needed to see a doctor.

You stood for what felt like forever listening to them until you turned around, just leaving the room.

You slammed your door shut, and sank down against it as you cried.

You weren’t sure what kind of reaction you were hoping for, but it definitely wasn’t that. Maybe some confusion, but you never expected to hear such harsh things from your own parents.

When you came down for dinner they kept going on and on about it, glaring at you and making sure to use the wrong pronouns when talking about you.

You thought maybe it would get better but it never did, and after nearly a week of this, being forced to see a doctor, and the constant harsh things they would say, you couldn’t take it anymore.

You packed a bag and you left in the dead of night, running down the street, running as far as you could until you could find a bus out of town.

Then you got on that, not thinking anything through, where to go or what to do.

It was how you found yourself in an unknown city, living on the streets.

It wasn’t easy, but at least this way you didn’t have to listen to them anymore.

You could get by enough from helpful strangers who gave you money, and sometimes you would join with local homeless teenagers who would meet up in the park just to play games or talk.

You were making your way down to the homeless shelter for something to eat when you all but walked into somebody.

“Oh I’m really sorry!” You rushed out.

“That’s alright, are you okay?” She asked.

Looking up, you took a step back, nodding your head.

Of course you would recognise such a hero as soon as you saw her, Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel, everybody knew who she was.

“Yes, thank you? Are you? I swear I didn’t take anything from you, I’ll wait here while you check.”

Carol frowned a little bit.

“Why would I think you’d take something?”

You gave a small shrug.

“Most people do. I’m really sorry I’ve got to go, the kitchen at the shelter closes soon!”

With a small smile you ran past her, and Carol watched as you left.

You didn’t think you’d ever see her again until one evening she wondered upon you camping in a construction site, and she walked over.

“Hey, it’s dangerous you know.”

“Huh?”

You turned around.

“Sorry, I’ll go. I just thought it would be safer here.”

“Hey, hey wait a minute kid.”

You stopped walking, letting her jog over.

“I saw you come in here last night too, are you sleeping here?”

You shrugged a little bit.

“It’s cold, and it’s not safe for you to be out in the streets. I can take you home.”

“No! Don’t take me home!” You pleaded.

Carol raised her hands, quickly nodding her head.

“Alright, okay. We won’t go there, but I don’t feel right leaving you here, can I at least take you somewhere else for the night?”

You shook your head.

“All the shelters are full up, I gave my spot to a boy a little younger than me…”

“Okay, maybe a hotel or something?”

“No money and they won’t take me cause I’m all covered in dirt and stuff…”

“Alright, how about we just go for a walk, yeah? You know who I am right? You know I wouldn’t hurt you?”

You nodded your head, trailing after her as she led you back to the street, and you began to slowly walk around.

“What’s your name?” She asked.

“(Y/N).”

“How old are you?”

“(Y/A).”

She looked at you.

“You’re so young… why are you out here (Y/N)? Where’s your family?”

You frowned, turning away from her.

“Don’t know, don’t care… disowned me…”

“What? Why? You don’t seem like the kind of kid who would do anything so bad to be disowned.”

“Non binary…”

“Oh wow really? I know loads of non binary people! They’re all so friendly and always so happy! You know on some other planets that how they’re raised, as non binary, and they can decide later if they want to stay as non binary, or change that.”

You looked up at her.

“Woah, really? And nobody cares?”

Carol smiled, shaking her head.

“Nope, totally normal. I’m sorry that your parents can’t accept that.”

You shrugged a little bit, looking back down at your feet as you clutched the straps on your bag.

“That’s life…”

“Yeah but it shouldn’t have to be, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s more normal than people think.”

Carol took you to get some proper food, and she spent the whole night searching for somewhere for you to stay until she came across a small motel who thankfully had a spare room.

She snuck you in, and handed you the key to the room.

“Here, I’ll come back with some clean clothes and stuff for you, don’t open the door unless you know it’s me okay?”

You nodded your head, locking the door after her.

You didn’t know why this big time superhero was looking after you, but you were thankful for it.

When she came back, you managed to get a shower, and you sat in front of her as she brushed and cut your hair for you.

“What’s it like travelling space?” You asked.

Carol smiled, telling you about it, what she did and things she had seen, and you sat there fascinated.

She kept coming back, bringing you more and more things for the next two weeks until finally she stood in front of you.

“I’m sorry I have to go.” She sighed.

“It’s okay, it was really nice to meet you, I hope you stay safe.”

“Will you stay safe?” She asked.

You gave a small shrug, giving her a little grin.

“The best I can.”

She nodded her head, heading towards the door, but she didn’t walk out, instead she turned around to look at you.

“Ever thought about travelling space?”

“Ever since I watched doctor who, they made it look so cool!”

This made her laugh, and she opened the door, holding her arm out to you.

“Come on then.”

“Seriously? You don’t even know me.”

“Yeah I do, come on, I could use the company and Fury is always telling me to get a friend to travel with me.”

You grinned from ear to ear, grabbing your bags as you ran over to her.

You were practically bursting with excitement and Carol just watched you with a gentle smile.

In a way you reminded her of when she was younger, people telling her who she could and couldn’t be, and you had chose to be who you were, and she found that amazing.

She was proud of that, she was proud of everybody who chose to be themselves despite what people said, and she was going to take you from the streets and give you the love and respect you should’ve had in the first place, be the parent you should’ve had in the first place

#marvel #marvel x y/n #marvel x you #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #Carol Danvers #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers x y/n #carol danvers x you #Carol Danvers imagine #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel x you #captain marvel imagine

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saphig-iawn · 7 months

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Day 7 of Turning me into Me

I've done it. My dear sweet girlies, my shes, gays, theys, and whatever-the-hays, I've done it. I have gone 7 whole days sticking to my plan. On November 12th I saw my face without a beard for the first time in 11 years and while my mask of masculinity was gone I still didn't like what I saw. I chose that day to be the worst I would ever feel about myself and made a decision to put the future me into production, rather than wait for HRT to do it all for me. I was inspired by a trans friend of mine who went through a similar journey to get surgery and she just told me so bluntly how easy it'd be. So I did.

And here I am, a whole week of walking every day, a whole week of not eating when I'm bored, a whole week of no sugar drinks (sorry monster). I am the happiest I have ever been. My head is so full of the things I'd wear, the makeup I'd try, the ways I can enjoy my body (also tbh I am really excited about the clothes holy FUCK). It was as easy as my friend said, "just don't do it, lol" were literally the words out of her mouth. I even took my first selfie that I liked.

But these aren't the only reasons why I'm still going. It is everyone who has come by and seen me talking about my journey and have shown me support. I've had DMs, Asks, RBs all telling me how they found my writing at the right time, and also at the wrong time and giving them something to think about. The fact that little old me could be a single part of someone's journey into their true self is just.. it.. it makes this so much better and so much more worthwhile.

You see, I used to be in a big discord server that belonged to a streamer. Over time it became harder to remain there. I wasn't out at the time but had so many girlies who were and they fought so well when laddish bigotry and cishet male-ry would bubble up and ruin people's day. But then one particularly bad night would result in blatant transphobia being slung in the chat and despite so many girlies calling it out, it was normalised by the server owner. I was DMing the girlies about how it just fucking sucked and that I wanted to do something but I was so scared and so tired and they sympathised with me. But I had had enough and thus turned my coming out into a weapon. I wanted them to know that their words hurt so many more people than they think; the silent queers that sit and see bigotry become commonplace in a space that has been advertised as safe, the questioning girls-to-be and boys-to-be seeing people write off their feelings under Devil's Advocacy. I told them they weren't allies, there was no support, and I was coming out and they better fucking pack it in. But when the culture is entrenched, even something like that doesn't change much. But my coming out caused a ripple, and I did see the names of people I had never interacted with before show love, and I knew that it was enough for them. I hope that me, setting myself ablaze in that server and leaving from the ashes, was enough for those names I saw.

A big thank you to everyone who has said hello, got in touch, or even just liked. I have such a deep and unshakeable love for you.

#saphi's journey #transition timeline #trans pride #trans joy #transgender #transfem #trans #mtf trans #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful #mtf #coming out #lgbt #transfemme #gender journey #gender thoughts #gender euphoria

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whatbigotspost · 2 years

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A friend sent me this story and it’s a good time for me to ramble on for a sec about how fucked up it is for the exact people who are wreaking abusive control and violence against their LGBTQAI+ children and the community widely are positioning themselves as protectors and the queer community as abusers simply for existing in a way that says, “you can have a happy life exactly as you are.”

Content warning: descriptions of child abuse coming…Most garden variety adult survivors of child abuse like me can tell you that it’s really really often the adults who are screaming “I’m protecting you!!!!!” at kids who are actually the exact person we needed real protecting from. My dad’s version of “protection” quite frequently meant trying to control my every thought and movement while bludgeoning me with an endless onslaught of his interpretation of Christianity as the reason and justification.

His control and violence was excused because it was “for my own good.” He was just “doing his job to protect my soul” or what the fuck ever. I’ll never forget him explaining to my brother and I how we needed “the devil beat out of us” sometimes.

I am certain this is how people like MTG parent.

There’s another post out there floating around right now about how “save the children” has become a wildly effective dog whistle for conservative Christofascists and the like. It’s true and it makes me so fucking mad because what I really really needed growing up (and eventually found, thank god) were queer affirming spaces so I could breathe for a moment and stop hating myself.

I can’t even bring words to do justice to how important 2 particular adults were to me, welcoming me to hang out in homes that became safe havens for me and many other of my friends…places were everything was gay as fuck and I was safe TRULY SAFE. To suggest they were the problem? The groomers? It’s laughable to a degree I can’t do justice.

I wish there was a way we could take the reins of the “think of the children” thing away from Christofascists. It needs to mean “create spaces where kids can be 100% themselves” and YES that will mean lots of queerness because a fucking lot of us are queer. Sure people of all types can be abusers…positioning gay and trans adults as inherent “groomers” is the same old homo and transphobia as ever, repackaged using long debunked stereotypes and outright lies.

My dad was the real groomer in my life. He tried to to groom me to accept violence as a part of love. To become some theoretical man’s good little wife and servant for life. To hate myself so deeply that I’d turn into a broken person like him and have kids I also didn’t want and export my self-hatred to them and so on, forever. Thank god he failed but if people like MTG get their way, they will abuse so many more children who may not be lucky enough to survive it. It’s terrifying and THOSE KIDS deserve and need protecting from her.

#child abuse #christofascism #abuse #violence #queerness #queer spaces #homophobia #transphobia #kids #children’s rights

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buckleydiazes · 10 months

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Hello fellow bylers, I saw some tags on a Stranger Things post by @biigiiiii making conjecture about being gay in the 80s and I thought, well my dad was a gay teen in the 80s, let me ask him! And it was originally intended to just be sent via messages but then I figured it would be easier to structure as a text post and idk maybe someone else would be interested in hearing his thoughts. All of this is his own personal experience, obviously that is not universal. Hopefully someone finds this interesting or enlightening in some way though.

Gays at Large

What was the general feeling toward LGBTQ people in the 80s?

Homophobia was bad enough that people did not give a second thought to it or how damaging what they were saying was. Between the AIDS epidemic and Raegan administration, homophobia was extremely commonplace and pretty ingrained in Western culture. It was generally more prominent in rural areas than cities — that much has not changed.

The Q Word

How does he feel about the word queer and has his feelings changed at all over the years?

Well, despite rampant homophobia, there had also been a lot of pushing for LGBT advocacy in recent years. The Stonewall Rebellion happened in 1969, which had a significant effect on American society. A year later, in 1970, were the first gay pride marches. For my dad, queer was a word that had already been reclaimed by many, and so therefore meant little to him. In his words, "I'm a queer? A [f slur]? Tell me something I don't know. What, are you going to call me a [hispanic slur] next? 🙄"

Knowing vs Awareness

Was he aware he was gay as a teen? No but yes. As with many who are considered different by society's strandards, there is always an undercurrent of Knowing that you are different. You understand, on some deep level, that you are not fitting the mold that you should be. But that doesn't mean you actively aware and thinking about it. In fact, a lot of people do their best to not think about it and pretend to be "normal."

In my dad's case, he knew he was different, but he didn't "have time" to think about it that much. There was other things going on in his life that made it easier to put thoughts of his sexuality on the back burner. And yet, despite this suppression, he still was keenly aware of other people's attitudes toward LGBTQ folk, which became a sort of sixth sense.

Hypervigilance is Exhausting

As a survival instinct, my dad was always on the look out for who was "safe" and who wasn't. My dad was not a particular flamboyant person and he was into more "masculine" interests (his career is in HVAC, plumbing, and electric, and his hobbies involve listening to the news and playing the guitar); this made it easier for him to fit in, but he still could not ever truly let his guard down. This became so ingrained that he sometimes wonders if his personality would have ended up different had he been allowed to be himself without fear. Fear is a powerful tool in shaping a young mind, after all. And it's also so very wearying. Eventually, he got to a poijt in his life where he decided to hell with what everyone else thinks and feels and he would be himself shamelessly because there's not enough years in a life to be constantly forcing yourself into a socially acceptable boxm

The Curse of Internalized Homophobia

But...what about internalized homophobia? Yeah, unfortunately, he very much experienced it. And, even more unfortunately, it found its way into his speech, throwing around some homophobic slurs of his own before he came out of the closet. According to him, he has known many a gay man who shared in homophobic language during their closeted/repressed years. I don't think I need to tell anyone how terrible it is the way society can coerce you into being part of your own groups oppression.

Birds of a Feather

Did he know any other gay people though? Again, no but yes. You might have noticed or heard about the concept of gay people flocking together before any of them even know/accept that they're gay. His case is another one for the books. There were definitely a few people he knew were closeted, though he never approached them with the topic, but it wasn't for many years later that he would find out how many people around him were LGBTQ in one way or another.

Funnily enough, he married my mom out of high school, and as it turns out, she's bi and trans. (Trans man, she/her, very complicated history with gender. Also they are divorced but still best friends.)

Stolen Youth and New Hope

So, what is the overall feeling of having been a closeted gay teen in the 80s? Well, like something precious was kept from you. Those experiences that cishet folk got to have, you didn't. So many of the formative experiences many have in their adolescence were not viable for LGBTQ folks—from openly having a partner to just being and presenting how you wanted to. And, like I mentioned before, he was left with a persistent wondering about who he would have been had the world been a better place. (This isn't even something unique to his time either, many LGBTQ folks of all ages feel like this!)

That said, he is still so glad to see the positive changes in the world. He watches things like Heartstopper and is happy that, at the least, he got to live long enough to see that sort of representation on TV. And I think that's lovely. (As a personal aside: fuck you @ everyone who bitched about Heartstopper being "too sanitized", gay people deserve all types of representation on TV. If you don't like a certain kind, move on to something else and let those that do like it enjoy themselves.)

So, yeah, there's all the stuff I talked to my dad about. If you have any further questions for/about him (or my mom perhaps), feel free to shoot me a message!

#stranger things #byler #obvs the target audiences here #his not having time to think too hard abt his sexuality would be so in line with mike i think #bigger fish to fry than an identity crisis lets just shove that to the back of our mind #lgbtq #gay #el dot txt

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shouldiusemyname · 9 months

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This is

THE FINAL NAIL IN MY AGENDA'S COFFIN...

Well, wasn't going to say anything about it this week, but then I read this by @thegalwhorants - bestie I applaud your determination and thoroughness 💜 and it made me want to write.

So Tee, honey, if this ever gets to you - please call me before your next show cos I get you. I know what you're trying to do and I can help you make it better. It's my job (seriously, like irl I help people to better say what they want to say).

This has the 3 major Tee themes:

Family - found and biological

Queer life - within and outside of the community

Communication - the importance of

I was disappointed that all this goodness was overshadowed by the lack of communication within the show itself. Like parts of it were NOT communicating with each other AT ALL.

However, if you want the what could have been version then let's go!

This show is about Zo coming to terms with himself on all 3 levels:

Struggling with his own family and feelings of disappointment. Trying to be the perfect son as he believes he was never enough in his mother's eyes. It turns him into a people pleaser and he becomes detached from himself. He finds Joke who grounds him and gives him a sense of family where he is accepted without the constant need to be more. Joke saying "you are enough" was exactly what Zo needed to hear. This issue with mum also affects his ability to explicitly come out with Joke as his boyfriend and we are left with the sense that mum knows but wasn't really told. She gets it, but Zo never says it.

On the queer life front we have Zo's past experience of being shamed over his feelings towards a confused closeted friend leading him to think he might like a girl cos he wants to BE her - which is also a major contributor to Zo's 'I'm not enough" issues. So basically, this experience has left him scarred and caused him to further disconnect from the part of him that likes boys, leaving him very confused when he realizes he likes Joke. In addition, he also gets a glimpse into the complexities of queer life and relationships through Jeng and Pok's relationship, which imo makes him hold back when it comes to telling his mother (but this might just be me).

And for the communication - Zo learns to communicate as he's slowly reconnecting with himself. When you people please, you hide yourself. Zo's been hiding for so long that he doesn't know who he is. He's so used to hiding that he can only speak in metaphors which is why all the stories. This is the only comfortable and safe space he has to express his thoughts and how he truly feels because he doesn't have to expose himself. It's the story, not him. Add to that his super diplomatic skills expressed by his excellent debating - cos you have to be able to see all sides if you're a people pleaser...

So, this is the show I was watching and I have extended it all the grace that I can because Tee speaks to my heart.

Basically, the main issue is the name...

#hidden agenda meta #hidden agenda #my 5 cents

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potato-jem · 11 months

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hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

#nero attempts to socialise #cece my beloved!!!#<3333

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

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Hi BPP! Just wanted to ask how you’d do things if you were in my position. So my situation is very specific and I really don’t know my place in ARMY spaces. Here’s why:

1. My favorite dynamic among all bangtan pairings is definitely yoonmin. The constant bickering just makes me laugh so much and wish for more. I absolutely love how they just constantly challenge each other.

2. My biases are vmin. I resonate the most with Jimin. His existence makes me cry. I am in love with Tae. Everything about him makes me melt. Jimin is my person; Tae is the love of my life.

3. Lastly, I think jikook are dating…? I don’t actively seek their moments so I’m not really a shipper, I think. If anything, I’d be more of a yoonmin/vmin shipper because it’s their moments I look out for. But jikook is the one pair I keep side-eyeing because their interactions just bring out a lot of question marks in me. They have weeeeird energy, idk it’s hard to explain. How I feel is like how Seokjin reacted when Jimin was explaining the hickey (????) thing.

So to summarize, yoonmin gives me butterflies. vmin gives me a double serotonin boost. jikook makes me release an exasperated but endearing sigh (I say endearing because they’ve still become my top 3, not bcs of their dynamic—too cheesy for me lol—but bcs it seems they make each other the happiest).

Having mentioned all that, I find it really hard to express myself in ARMY member x member spaces (mostly on twitter).

Among yoonmin lovers, there’s a subgroup consisting of toxic taekookers hating on Jimin. Among jikook lovers, there’s a subgroup of toxic jikookers passive-aggressively hating on Tae.

I feel like I’m relatively safer among vminies in terms of interacting with genuine OT7 fans. BUT a chunk of vminies seem to have this annoying superiority complex over other shippers. A lot can’t even fathom shipping vmin romantically. Some of them sound almost homophobic, “u can’t assume they’re gay unless…” and it irks me especially as a queer person.

The thing is I prefer ship-focused spaces because the general non-shipping part of the fandom has the biggest superiority complex against pairing two people together. And they don’t seem to be genuinely open about the idea of the boys actually being queer. And I just don’t like that.

But it’s just so frustrating to not be able to express my love for my favorite duos without having to do it in separate accounts. And I still don’t feel safe even then, because I’m also second-guessing my audience, “u sure u really love jimin?” “u sure u aren’t token-stanning jungkook?” “u sure u aren’t token-shipping vmin?” “u sure u’re okay with them actually being queer?”

Sorry, you don’t really have to answer. Idk where I was going with this. I just like the thought of this reaching someone.

***

Hi Anon,

I've got a few more asks in my inbox like yours, and I recall answering an ask very similar to this almost two years ago - all that to say, I get why you feel your situation might be unique to you and it feels isolating, but ARMY is a huge fandom and I promise you, whatever you're dealing with someone else has gone through before and found their tribe, for better or worse.

There's nothing more to it than curating your space. Someone doesn't think you like Jimin enough despite him being your bias? Unfollow and/or block them. A joker is being obnoxious with their hate boner for Tae? Hasta la vista. And so on. If you don't know these people enough to have a conversation around points of confusion or disagreement, why exactly should you hesitate to prune your online habitat? There's no shortcut to curating your space - you just have to lean into the people whose values align with yours, and cut off the dead weight.

Hopefully that should offer you some comfort.

One more thing I'll tell you now that I told those people then who have asked similar asks before:

If you're the sort of person who is sensitive to how other people think or what they say, being in any big fandom will be a very difficult experience for you. Anyone who is looking for a safe space in fandom is looking in the wrong place. You will always come across weirdos, people who lack basically every literacy skill, conspiracy theorists, and high conflict personalities who think everyone's talking about them or that they're the only people brave enough to obsess over 'taboo' topics. It's enough for you to identify these sorts of people when you come across them, determine for yourself if their values align with yours, if they base their actions in fact and respect for the guys, and act in whatever way that maximizes your peace of mind. It could be a slow process, but with practice you'll get it. Taking frequent breaks and making ARMY friendships offline could help too.

I liked reading your ask because you seem to already have a clear idea of what you like, what you think, and why, but you don't seem like a very assertive person so what I would do might not be practical for you. So I hope all the above are better options for you.

Good luck. 💜

#bts #bts shipping #fandom behaviour #bts army #bts fandom

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frogfrizz · 1 year

Text

Thoughts on Gap the Series after Ep10

I’ve been a silent observer of Gap the Series. Since Episode 8 streamed on YouTube, I’m astonished by the series’ acceptance across thousands (and by now millions) of viewers, especially in the Philippines. After Episode 10 streamed, with conflict across family and societal pressures threatening to crack both protagonists, I’m compelled to write about what it means to me as media representation.

Gap’s narrative represents my terror and despair when I was in my early twenties, and the dim but eventual stirrings of hope. The series’ acceptance by its captive audience rouses my jealousy, too, because it is media representation and acknowledgement that I wish I had when I was younger. I wonder how different life could have been if Mon, Sam, and their cadre of supportive friends on-screen ran parallel to the narratives of my own life, so I could feel less alone. This brings back the importance of media representation for me and many others, and what matters so much about Mon and Sam’s story, where they navigate different identities that intersect and collide.

When I was younger, the life I imagined for myself was not possible in the Philippines; it still isn’t, especially when parents and authority figures wield their social and financial power over me to coerce, threaten, overpower, or destroy. For my family, the wider community and their relationships to it came first. Decisions revolved around their dignity, status, and how they could safely and effectively relate to their social circles and their church.

All this came at the expense of my individual needs as a young, queer person, especially since my needs were so antithetical to society’s demands: to date and eventually marry a man, to bear his children, to blindly obey the Catholic Church’s homophobic and sexist strictures, and act like a compliant, conventional young woman.

Strangely, it was the women in my family who preferred to see me suffer or die than sully the family name. When mom found out about my partner and I, she wanted me committed to the hospital’s psychological ward. Only a young doctor with their wits about them stopped her. My sister still maintains that mom’s financial, emotional, and physical abuse was and is a “personality clash”.

In the end, it was my dad, brother, and a community of queer women who tried to distance me from their cruelty and also saved my life. In the plan to get me more financially independent, Dad told me, “It’s better if you left (the Philippines). You’ll be constantly ostracized here.” With Dad’s help, my partner and I left everything we knew, all our friends and family, for a country we didn’t know and to which we had no ties. Eventually, we settled there, a time and place that recognized our rights.

Gap the Series manages to dig out the scars of that trauma, but it also surfaces many hopes for Mon and Sam’s future.

I’m speaking from a position of privilege as I’m educated, I had access to resources, and I had loved ones who helped me change my situation. It is still my sincere hope that if young queer people in hard, desperate situations hold out for long enough, find good allies (or are found by them), and nurture what love remains, It Gets Better. Whether Gap the Series gives us that happy ending or it doesn’t, let me reassure you that in many instances, life can be fully and happily lived.

With its young audience in the millions, I don’t want a message that tells young people to endure pain for the sake of their families. I won’t want a singular implication that there is no other way than to sacrifice one’s needs for the whims of the many, that one needs to suffer alone, or that the suffering will last a lifetime. So, here are fervent wishes for Mon and Sam, and anyone experiencing something similar. These are the core attachments that have saved my life many times over:

A partner who will choose me every time, even when I don’t have the courage to choose my self

An ally, or two, or three who will love, defend, and give me reprieve, so hope does not burn out

A family member who uses their agency and power to help, especially when things go dark

The physical and psychological resources, external or internal, to find and eventually maintain a safe space

…and it’s all possible, crew. You are not alone, never alone, and I love you beyond and across these virtual spaces. These came true for me in some form, the last only recently, and I hope we see this enacted on the episodes that are about to be streamed. I hope the creators can shape this reality for you and me. I hope they acknowledge its importance for queer people everywhere, imprinting the possibility of a bright and wonderful future into the minds of all the young, queer people watching.

#gap the series #sammon #monsam #wlw #meta #media representation #gap the series meta #mon x sam #tw: abuse

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not-poignant · 10 months

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Hi, Pia! I am thinking of going the same route as you - free chapters on AO3, then Patreon - for my historical m/m romance projects. Could you share a little about your journey, and how did you manage to gain visibility within the originals section of AO3 (I know it's not easy)?

Hi hi!

We've talked a little over at Subscriptions for Authors I think! *waves* :D

Okay firstly, i don't know if any of this is going to be very helpful, because to tl;dr it - I didn't set out to be a professional author when I started this, and I wasn't even trying to be a professional when I started my Patreon (though I did approach it seriously, like I wanted to treat my readers well). I didn't believe I could be one, my impostor syndrome was so epic I literally started an entirely new AO3 account and kept it secret from my main account because I believed all the people being nice to me about my writing were somehow just lying to me because they felt sorry for me.

That's...

That's a whole lot of impostor syndrome insanity. But I've always been pretty honest about having mental illness so....

Re: my journey...

I started out in fanfiction. I started writing Rise of the Guardians fanfiction (a two part serial called From the Darkness We Rise & Into Shadows We Fall) and it went viral (I did not expect this) and I put in several original characters to flesh out the world, because I added a Seelie/Unseelie Court element that wasn't in the original movie or the books.

Two of those original characters had roles as semi-significant ensemble characters. One was a terrible villain who is defeated by the other, who is the Seelie King (also defeated by the main characters of the fic but *coughs* anyway).

I started getting people asking me what was going to happen to those two characters, especially once people found out they had a relationship history together prior to the events in the fanfic. I mostly put those people off - I fully intended to keep just writing fanfiction - until finally I decided to write some fic of those two characters. It was like...revenge hatefucking, lmao. I wrote three chapters of that, and then more, and then finally realised I couldn't give them the tragic ending I'd planned to, and that I'd have to actually figure out how the hell to save them from their own machinated doom.

And that became the first book in my original Fae Tales series - Game Theory.

It was my amazing readers who asked me to make this Tumblr, my amazing readers who asked me to write that original story, and they were the ones who asked me to make a Patreon (and then a Ko-Fi), and so in a way, they were the ones who let me know when I was ready to try making this work in a (slightly) more official capacity. They were the ones who believed in me enough to keep me doing this, and they still are. *waves to you all*

They were the ones who gave me visibility, I don't know that I did anything specific to make that happen, except writing the stories, turning up, and listening to them.

It's a very weird way of doing it and I don't know that anyone else has ever done it quite that way like this. I feel like a massive outlier in that sense. I don't relate to anyone who is starting out in professional subscription with no readers because I could never do that, my lack of confidence wouldn't let me. But there's aspects I think any author can replicate: I reply to all my commenters (except the trolls), because they're great and I want to support connection, community, and conversation. I embrace fandom and love all transformative works, and also, like 99% of my writing is free on AO3. (You don't have to make everything free, but it certainly doesn't hurt on AO3).

I mostly finish my serials and folks can trust my happy/hopeful endings and they can trust my hurt/comfort. And I'm pretty communicative! As you can tell by how much I'm rambling right now x.x I intentionally provide a safe space for queer people and neurodivergent people as much as possible, and write a lot of representation for us. I set out to make a space I would personally feel comfortable in. That might not work for everyone, but it works for those who stay.

From there though, I'd say a lot of visibility came from word of mouth, writing chapter by chapter over time (serials naturally pick up readers simply because they're often at or near the top of a tag or fandom category on AO3 - there is NO algorithm there), sometimes sorting by kudos, and me just posting about random stuff on Tumblr with good tags.

I still write fanfiction on another account (my impostor syndrome account) that has also had some people trying my original fiction. There's quite a few people who came directly from fanfiction to the original fiction because the themes were the same!

I didn't have the confidence to intentionally try and be a professional writer. When I started writing that fanfic I was writing it because I was depressed, sad, and I'd quit an unsatisfying job as a professional artist (I loved the art and my clients, I could never make the income part work). I didn't want to be a professional writer. I was writing as hooky, as escape from my real life, and as 'oh god I just need some hurt/comfort and I can't find what I want so I'll write it.'

To this day, I still write fanfiction as an escape, it's partly why it's now on a separate account to my original stuff (but even plenty of my original fic is indulgent and self-escapist in nature, which is maybe why other people find it escapist and cathartic as well).

In writing, financially, it makes more sense to publish books, or do serials-into-books, and develop a backlist of novels alongside the serials. I don't do that. I should, I plan on starting soon. I can point out a lot of the things that I either did wrong, or that I can see a way of doing better, because I didn't set out to be a professional writer, and I still put 'keeping it fun' and 'the readers' ahead of 'making money.' I'm not very mercenary and I make financially not great decisions in favour of 'but I enjoy it more this way.'

(That's partly because I am really very ill, and I can't afford to make myself sick through my work, and not enjoying it is the fastest way to do that).

What I do know is how to help create a community, though. And how to encourage and try and care for that community of people. How to respond to what they want and sometimes don't want, alongside what I want and don't want. How to have boundaries in that space. Well, I'm still figuring it out but I think I'm more comfortable with it than I used to be!

I also don't want to make it sound like I didn't know about writing before this. Long before doing serials for 10 years, I did creative writing and scriptwriting (among other things) at university. I wrote very technically correct short stories with sad little tragic endings that won awards and sometimes decent cash prizes. I hated it, and it put me off writing for years afterwards. I felt trapped in trying to write the 'correct' way. I am entirely unsurprised that to this day I reject standard formulas for novel lengths, and that in order to write, I kind of have to break a lot of the rules I was taught.

But I was taught how to write 'correctly' by Australian standards back in the early 00s (very spare, evocative prose). These days I follow a lot of scriptwriting / television drama beats in serials and have always really enjoyed doing it that way. :D

I'm meant to be talking about some of this in the Subscriptions for Authors podcast tomorrow and it's going to be a mess, as you can tell, lmao.

(There's something to be said about the lightning-in-a-bottle moment where I just wrote a fanfic I thought everyone would hate in a popular fandom and people were just ready for that story and it took off. I had no idea how to deal with it and it was very overwhelming and I had a bit of a breakdown a year and a half later over it. It's no coincidence that a year into the Patreon I paused it for 1.5 years and walked away because I couldn't handle it. But then I did some growing up and came back and figured it out.

But yeah I didn't do any of this the right way, or in a super intentional way. The only part I know I did well was supporting a community, and communicating with the people who turned up. And I did that for very selfish reasons - I wanted to be in a community, and I enjoyed meeting people who had things in common with me. I sometimes feel a little like a gremlin who just stumbled into a community and was like 'oh, um, I'm here, I guess.'

It's really everyone else who made it magical, but it did help that I think I am (in retrospect) pretty good at writing a hooky, addictive serial for the right kinds of readers. I cannot understate this enough -> learning how to write serials and exploring episodic television drama can be very helpful).

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on patreon #actually i asked my readers yesterday what helps them stick around #communication - consistency - trust - quality of writing - representation #came up the most #visibility is tough: going viral is luck #doing it more than once can be the quality of your writing #ultimately commenters want to feel valued by writers #and writers want to feel valued by commenters #and that relationship is imho pretty crucial on AO3 #the more an author doesn't reply to commenters (not that they have to)#the less likely that commenter is to reply on future chapters #the more you do reply #the more likely you are to get replies #that's just how conversation works #no one likes to talk into an abyss #i don't pay for ads #i don't really publish books #(i have two that i don't really market)#but i never shut up #and my readers are the best #also just time - time is a big part of it #do this mostly consistently for 10 years #and like... dslkfjas there you are #also i want to say my original stuff was NEVER as popular as my fanfiction #but it didn't need to be fsadlkfjsa #patreon doesn't need thousands of people #every reader who contributes is incredible #but none of this stuff is necessarily workable as a *strategy*

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transmascrage · 1 year

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TLOU Episode 3 and Masculinity

(Crossposted on Reddit, that's why I'm explaining that I'm trans)

I hadn't cried this hard in so long. This episode broke me in the best way.

It's not just the beautiful life Bill and Frank have together, it's how deeply I felt their first meeting. Bill being so hunched over and stiff until he realized Frank was safe to be queer and vulnerable around, and them crying because they found another person like themselves in the apocalypse.

Queer people still experience these emotions without all the zombies around, and it was so great to see happy queer people in a genre-setting where many fans assume a patriarchal and heteronormative system will be the norm, and that all civil and social rights "won't matter anymore". Lord knows how many times I've heard people say "If we were in the apocalypse, no one would respect your pronouns" like that's supposed to hurt my feelings? Bring back the attack helicopter jokes at this point.

I feel like unless you're queer yourself, you won't understand why Frank asking "Who's the girl?" and Bill replying "There is no girl" and bursting into tears says so much with few words.

Frank is testing the waters, he can tell Bill has some queerness to him (gaydar is real, it's just being able to pick up on subtle cues, and the only reason most cishet people are bad at it is becayse you need to engage with queer spaces and media to see them), but he's testing how aware Bill is of it and how he'll react to a gay man near him when he's repressed it for so long.

And Bill breaks down because he feels safe enough to do so around him, and he can tell Frank will understand why there is no girl.

And then later, Frank asking if he's ever had sex with anyone before, and Bill saying "There was a girl, a long time ago" and Frank saying "I know" made me so emotional because Frank is saying "I know you tried to fit in, and it didn't work".

And then I cried again when Frank asked him to spend their last day together. And then again when Bill decided to die with him.

Bill's message to Joel reminded me of some old queer books, like Stone Butch Blues, I read where butch lesbians defend their femme lovers, or where sensitive, femme gay men are defended by masc gay men. Not as a "simulation" of het relationships, but as a way of protecting the less vulnerable members of the community.

After all, while Bill is the one mostly protecting Frank, Frank also defends Bill when the raiders attack. He jumps in the line of fire to take him back inside and tends to his wound, saving his life. And Tess isn't just a "defendee" either, she's very capable and protects Joel and Ellie (as well as herself) in the short time we see her. Furthermore, she's never treated by Joel as just someone to protect. While he wants her to be safe, he lets her do her thing while guaranteeing her backup if she needs it.

It's like when adult queer people (the mature ones, at least) defend younger queer people with tooth and nail, because they can be really obnoxious and open about their queerness (in an endearing way, I promise!) and we won't let the world hurt our young. It's saying, "Actually, making your entire personality about being gay/trans IS a necessary part of the process, so fuck off!"

I saw someone on TikTok say episode 3 made him want to be a better man, and I think protecting the people you love is an amazing ideal of masculinity to uphold. I'm a trans man, which means I've had to analyze my view of manhood and masculinity than most cis men do, and I also think this is the conclusion I've gotten to.

Lastly, I'm actually pleasantly surprised at how the fandom took this episode! I mean yeah, there were the expected homophobic comments, but they're so cartoonishly hateful it's hard to take them seriously.

The rest of the public saying they disliked it seemed to be people who wanted the episode to be like the game, and for Joel to meet up with Bill. Which is fair, honestly (though I disagree).

The rest has been really accepting! I've seen so many cishet men saying they loved the episode and even cried watching it. It makes me hopeful that things are getting better even in fandom spaces that are traditionally homophobic, like gaming communities.

#tlou show #tlou series #tlou show spoilers #tlou bill #tlou frank #queer community #manhood #trans ftm #transmasc

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apolloanddaphnis · 1 year

Text

Immortal Aphrodite

Part I

Synopsis: a pansexual non binary therapist in New York is finally in a good place in their life, when they gets a client that might threaten all of that.

Dedicated to a very good friend if mine who I absolutely love.

Disclaimer: This story will be explicit as hell. This is a Trans!Female Timothée Chalamet x Reader love story.

____________________________________________

Salem's POV

It took me a long time to get where I am today. I'm not talking about getting my bachelors in Psychology at the University of Arkansas, and then my masters in counseling at Hunter College. Those are just degrees and hours of studying and no social life for someone who doesn't have one anyway.

It took me a long time to get to where I am, struggling to discover that I'm not defined by one gender or the other, that I'm not attracted to people based off of what gender THEY identify as, working through a drinking problem that stemmed from mental and emotional abuse from my family even when they were a distance away. And then coming out to them so I could finally live my life, live it healthy and honest. Coming out to my family almost sent me back to the bottle, I had to call my sponsor or I didn't know if I'd make it.

It's safe to say they are no longer in my life, which makes me sad sometimes but not sad enough to return to that life. It took too long getting here to where I am, I remember when I finally legally changed my name, Salem Eden Coslett. With that name I worked as an elementary school counselor while getting my masters degree, with that name I graduated with that very master's degree and my addiction program AND rented my Brooklyn brownstone apartment, and that is the name that's on the door of my office. An Office I made a safe place for not just the queer community but people of all communities.

I still see a therapist of course, problems don't go away just because you're doing good and Dr. Valentine has been a big help.

My life has been going so well, I have succulents and an Ivy I nurture, two Maine coons called Aragorn and Elrond that I adore. I'm in a book club and I found a really nice church that's open and accepting with a lesbian reverend.

So tell me why I'm ready to jeopardize that and break the hippocratic oath? Tell me why I forgot how to breathe when my first time patient walks in looking as good as she smelled, strutting in all tall and elegant and elvish with long, spider legs and red lips? She wore stylishly vintage jeans from the early 90s that stayed up in her petite waist with the help of a Gucci belt, a black turtleneck that's tightness showed off her lean built, red two and half inch block heels that I saw in the window of Nordstroms, a single Cartier bracelet and small gold hoop earrings. Her rich chocolate curls were cut voguishly in the wolf style, and nothing really changed her pretty and intense features except for red lipstick and bb cream.

Nails as red as her lips and shoes were paired with many vintage rings, on long, dexterous fingers that lived on large hands. Hands I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from.

She has pretty diamond shaped head and very sharp features, gorgeously scissor sharp cheekbones and an aquiline nose that made her look beautifully noble, seductively hooded Hazel eyes with thick eyebrows that resided above them. Her lips are small but full and the Rouge on them kept making my eyes return to them. Her beauty is svelte and Eastern European, she's the absolute New Yorker and I couldn't breathe. I don't remember inviting her to sit on my rattan wood daybed with a salmon-colored, velvet cushion. She moved my plethora of colorful cushions and pillows aside to sit and sink into the seatery. She looks so pretty there and I just imagined doing such depraved things to her and it made me feel horrible. I did invite her to sit and I offered her tea, but I'm in a trance so I just don't remember.

I need to get myself together, I must look like an idiot just gawking at her. "The tea is really good." She said, her voice is raspy and deep but very soft. She looked me in the eye briefly before studying my appearance, I felt my heart race as I pushed up my glasses.

"Oh thank you it's um butterfly pea flower tea." I tapped my purple gel pen against my clipboard.

"It's sweet and flowery but earthy, it's so good."

It was cute how she described the tea, I smiled. "I'll make sure to make more for you next time, I like interesting tea flavors, like matcha." With patients I tend to let them take the reins of the conversation, make them feel comfortable and give them the feeling that they're in control of the direction of the conversation.

Hali Chalamet wasn't here to talk about mtea collection.

"I usually prefer coffee but this tea…what sweetener was that?" Her knee was jiggling so fast, she was tapping her foot wildly, a telltale sign she's nervous.

I shifted in my seat as I watched her, she blushed under my gaze and it made my mind wander and I bit my bottom lip. "Agave syrup, it's a healthy alternative. "

"Like Tequila agave?"

I smirked. "Sort of."

"Trying to get me drunk, Salem?"

I had strict instructions for my patients to address me by my first name, the gender definity of Mr., Mrs., and Ms. Made me uncomfortable and me getting rid of a title made it easier for my patients to talk to me.

So when she said my name with a suggestion I should have been fine, especially when I've had patients actually hit on me before, there's a whole transference situation that can happen between therapist and patient. Not with Hali, she had me completely effected.

"I see that you're a drama professor at Tisch school of Arts. You're so young to be one." I said it as a compliment with a smile.

I saw her perk up that, she was obviously very proud of that title and position. "Yes, I did 4 years at NYU and got a B.A. in drama, and then a PhD in fine arts. I used to…" She cleared her throat and hugged her arms around herself, something must have been triggered. "I was an actor on Broadway. ".

I rose my brows completely impressed, she does look familiar, but I can't remember from where, I didn't see theatre that often despite my love for watching it.

A frown appeared on her pretty mouth, I really shouldn't say that in my head. She's going through something horrible trip down memory lane and here I am admiring her.

"I was…it was when I was…Timothée…"

Sometimes saying your dead name can be triggering. I set aside my clipboard and approached her slowly. I stopped before her and crouched down to the ground, making sure my long skirt covered me. I looked up at Hali, it was a good position to all our her to know that I wasn't above her in anyway.

"Did you leave Broadway because of that? You don't have to talk about it today."

She looked down into my eyes, there was such a tenderness in them. "Thank you." She said softly, her eyes traveled down to my mouth and briefly to my covered chest. Did I imagine that?

"I need to go." She said in a quiet, gossamer of a tone.

I nodded, this happens a lot. Sometimes the first session doesn't go well, but even when I watched her walk out of the office, I know she opened up to me more than she knows.

After she left I started typing up notes and organizing the for her file. Once printed I put stickers on them that I associated with her, which I do with all my patients.

I had a date tonight with this perfectly nice guy, he's a veterinarian and open minded, he loves Sylvia Plath and listens to Harry Styles, favorite show is The Office and has only been in committed relationships. He's a male feminist and he's very tall, 6'3, has green eyes, cute glasses, and curly dark hair. His name is Dr. Josh Rosenstein and he smells lovely, like dove soap and gentle cologne, and we met up at L'Wren on Brooklyn's fifth Avenue for drinks. It was a little bit of a struggle but as he ordered his glass of Beaujolais, and I ordered my mocktail of ginger beer and grapefruit juice, we talked about our favorite office episodes and our jobs. All I could think about while he was being perfectly polite was Hali staring at my lips.

Then we met each other at 1 or 8, this minimalist Japanese restaurant on Dekalb Avenue. It wasn't the best Japanese food I ever had, all show no substance. But Dr. Josh was nice, very nice. I felt like an awful human being thinking about Hali's rings on her hand.

And when I invited the good doctor inside and we fucked with me on top, I thought of her cock, it looked so big through her Jeans. I felt miserably guilty and horny, I needed to get my patient out of my head but all I could think about was how Josh wasn't Hali.

And after he left I was counting down to when I would see her again.

Next Tuesday when I did, we just spoke about her favorite musicals and her favorite plays. She actually loves Rocky Horror Picture Show and I told her I have never seen it, my exposure to pop culture due to my religious upbringing was limited.

Well Miss Hali was appalled and the next morning, I had found a ticket to an off Broadway production of it at the Manhattan theater in my mailbox. I shook my head with a smile, and yes I was totally going.

Technically I'm not doing anything wrong right? They're just a simple gift from a grateful patient, happens all the time. And I had no idea if she would even be there.

But on the off chance that she was…

I didn't wear a suit like with Josh, tonight I feel more femme than masculine. I did my makeup, painted lips a dark red, used a matte foundation and smokey eyes, black spiderweb fishnet stockings wrapped around my legs and went well with my purple, velvet button down dress. The sleeves are short and so is the hem, it showed a heavy amount of cleavage which was easy to do with my size.

I zipped up black, mid calf, wedge heel boots and sprayed on my Good fortune perfume. I kept messing with my hair, I hoped I looked good enough, I hope I smel good enough, I just hope I'm enough.

As I grabbed my purse and set up the place nice for my cat, I chastised myself. "Salem you're insane, she probably won't even be there."

With that I headed out and hailed a cab to the Manhattan theater. I arrived early so I could find my seat, that's when I saw her. Apparently she can get hotter.

That dress hardly left anything to the imagination, black and completely sheer, sides cut out and showing off long, smooth legs that end in designer black boots. The eyeliner was heavy and it was so sexy. Should I go over there? Or pretend not to see her? Oh my God.

"Are you here alone?"

A pretty redhead in a babydoll dress appeared before me. She licked her lips and made it obvious she was checking me out with seductive brown eyes.

"Yes."

"Oh good." She smiled. "I'm Miranda, what's your name?"

"Salem." I wasn't interested and I should be, she's so pretty and smells good, but my eyes slid over to where Hali was– to find no Hali.

"Salem, there you are!"

A big smile graced my lips hearing the familiar voice that might as well be the chorus of angels singing. When did she get so close to me? And God she smells WAY better than Miranda. My eyes fell to her rosy nipples that were visible through that sheer number.

"I-uh here I am!"

She wrapped her lanky arms around my shapely waist. I couldn't breathe oh God, feeling her body against mine made me feel high. I had to mentally yet at myself to NOT Bury my face in her neck with a scent that could only be described as intoxicating.

Miranda looked annoyed and just walked away, sadly Hali let go. "Why did you do that?" I asked her.

"Do what?" She asked simply before slowly eyeing me. "You look really cute outside of your work clothes, although you look cute on those too."

"Hali, remember-" I started to warn.

"I know, I know, hippocratic oath or whatever. "

I folded my arms.

"I wish you wore your glasses."

I looked up at her perplexed and she just smirked then took my hand. "Come on, I'll take you to our seats."

"Hali, I don't know if this is appropriate…"

"It's just a show, and maybe some eats at Hill country barbecue market on West 26th street, afterwards of course not during. After all, you've never seen this before, and I'd hate for you to miss it."

"No, Hali. Please, listen, there is absolutely no way–" the overture of the music began and Hali shushed me. "It's beginning. "

I glared. "Don't ever shush me again, understand?"

Her Adam's apple bobbed and her hooded eyes fogged with something akin to lust.

Was it me or did my patient just get turned on by me telling her what to do?

I'm fucked.

@sufferingstarlight @meetmyothersouls

#timothee fanfic #timothee chamalet #timothée chalamet #timothée chalamet x oc #trans Timothée #AU

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lanawinterscigarettes · 2 years

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Veronica Sawyer dating someone who's transmasc

A/N: here's my obligatory queer content for pride month lol (if you want me to write some other hcs/fics for pride month just lemme know <3) this is kind of a mix between the 80s and present time, just a heads up

Warnings: transphobia, brief mention of slurs (they're aren't typed out, just referred to), brief mention of being attacked/hate crimed, swearing, the Heathers are very supportive allies (they're probably way out of character but I honestly don't even care), brief mention of menstrual cycles/periods

Veronica's the most chill person around, so she'd be really supportive and pretty cool with it

You were pretty good friends before you came out to her, but after you did it made the two of you even closer

When you came out, she waited patiently and listened to you as you told her who you were and how you felt

Obviously, you were extremely nervous over how she'd react; but she just gave you a smile and said she was glad you felt comfortable and safe enough to tell her

She confessed that she actually had a crush on you, to which you replied that you felt the same

The two of you started going steady after that

Veronica's parents don't really mind that you're trans, they're just happy their daughter found someone who loves her and treats her right

You guys face a lot of opposition from both teachers as well as students

Its often difficult to even walk down the halls at school together, as there are many who take to calling the two of you slurs

As big of a bitch as Heather Chandler may be, she's actually somewhat sensitive to your relationship, and she'll absolutely annihilate anyone who she hears talking shit about the two of you

Honestly, all of the Heathers have pretty much accepted you as part of their little group, and will protect you if someone tries to attack you, whether it be physically or verbally

Veronica does her best to make you feel better on days where you feel dysphoric, especially if you also happen to be on your period

If you own a binder, she'll check up on you to make sure you're not wearing it for too long, and if you don't, she makes sure you don't try to use any damaging methods to bind, such as ace bandages

Veronica my love: are you making sure you're binding properly??

You: <read by 3:42 PM>

Veronica my love: I know you saw my message. Just be safe, okay? 💙

Whenever people misgender you, she always corrects them, whether it be on accident or on purpose

Speaking of which, if you have parents or any family members that are transphobic, she'll literally prepare a whole ass lecture on how stupid they are for thinking that if she ever has to see them in person

She always validates you whenever you feel like you don't present masculine enough, especially if you're gender non-conforming or smth like that

"Are you sure I pass well? I mean, I do paint my nails and wear makeup every now and then. Some people might think I'm a girl"

"Of course you do! And if people assume you're a girl just because you like to present feminine every now and then, they're stupid, okay? Don't listen to what other people think of you, especially when they don't even know you"

If you feel comfortable with it, then she'll totally go to a pride parade with you, and if not, then she'll just stay home with you and chill. Whatever makes you comfortable

Overall, I'd say you made a pretty good decision when it came to both telling her you're trans and asking her out

Taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @taecube @nevilleismywhore @your-next-daydream

#heathers #heathers imagines #heathers imagine #heathers x reader #heathers headcanons #heathers hcs #heathers fic #heathers fluff #veronica sawyer #veronica sawyer imagines #veronica sawyer imagine #veronica sawyer x reader #veronica sawyer headcanons #veronica sawyer hcs #veronica sawyer fic #veronica sawyer fluff #trans reader #transmasc reader #veronica sawyer x transmasc reader

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melmelodywerner · 6 months

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I figured I should stop by here one last time as I just saw that I've kept getting emails from Tumblr since I decided to quit it.

not going to be deleting my account, but yeah—I am flatout done being here, and I'm not coming back. Tumblr has very successfully taught me that I simply do not like being publicly online in forums that I cannot moderate or that people I don't know or trust are the only moderators. the horrible shit where random strangers will say or do to you with no control—no good, acceptable recourse—other than to just leave has, well, encouraged me to leave.

far from the safe space for queer folks I'd always been told it was, Tumblr ultimately leads to dealing with insufferable, self-righteous gits who don't know what they're talking about acting in cruel ways because they know that there will never be any real consequences as far as they're concerned. it is not fundamentally different from or less toxic than any other social media of its ilk. you just get a new formula of the same old toxicity, where people with pride flags in their pfp's shoot first and ask questions never.

to be clear, this is not a "cancel culture" thing. cancel culture does not exist, it is an intrinsically nebulous bogeyman for the petit bourgeois where they staple together people unsubscribing because they.... say for an example, represented trans people with an ape wearing a dress... with people dogpiling. no one hath "canceled" me in my limited time on this hellsite. they were intentionally rude and snippy over shit they didn't understand whatsoever—and one of them apologized after I DM'ed them to tell them how fucking invalidating and cackheaded their nonsense was.

by no means life-ruining, but enough to make me step back and barely log in. and then I saw one of the "clever" ways transphobes operate on here (some scumbag named "ifollowmales" following me and other trans gals), and it's like... I don't need this place, so why should I stay on here?

if you wanna follow my stuff or chat, I do stuff on YouTube and (very occasionally on) Twitch—and I'm very active on Discord. I'm melodyjettwerner on all of those. I hang out around GorlStreamTeam and AngryMetalGuy (their Twitch & Discord/website & Discord respectively). and over on Steam, I am the founder and lead editor of a bunch of Steam Curators (largely under the Noteworthy Video Games banner). I know some people immediately jump to, "oh, this person must be dead or something" when they see someone leave the only social media they've seen the person in question on—ahem, no, I am totally not vagueing—I can assure you this is not the case.

if you ever see the comics studio I co-founded on here—We Are Legion—you can know full well that I am nowhere near the post button on it.

bye forever,

Melody Jett Werner

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