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sunnyrosewritesstuff · 9 months

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Day 6- To Spoon Feed You Comfort

We're almost to the end! Okay, so this was the redemption choice and I'm so glad it made the cut. I've been thinking about this fic for about half a year at this point, and I'm absolutely in love with the banter (both future and current) between Bilbo and Thorin. 🥰

To Spoon Feed You Comfort

Rating: T

Warning(s): N/A

Ship: Bagginshield

Words: 3165

Summary: Accidental Marriage AU; Marriage in the Shire is a relatively easy process. All you have to do is get your intended to eat from your hand crafted Love Spoon, and return the gesture. Bilbo was already displeased by his unexpected house guests but when the newest arrival used his Love Spoon to eat from…well none could blame the hobbit for fainting if they knew the circumstances.

Bilbo was at his wits’ end with these loud, pushy, rude, arrogant, ill-mannered, disgusting dwarves. He couldn’t even imagine what Gandalf’s thought process was. Even if Bilbo had been considering his offer, which he hadn’t, staring into his empty larder, his own stomach grumbling, adventure was the absolute last thing on his mind! How quickly he can get the trespassing interlopers out of his dining room and back on the road being closer to the truth. His heart might actually give out if one more dish is tossed through the air, no matter how impressed he was to find the pile of clean dishes at the end of their teeth-grating song. However, before any more protests could leave his mouth, three sharp knocks rounded on his door.

Thorin Oakenshield, the last dwarf to appear, was different. Bilbo could tell that within the first second with the way the jovial atmosphere fell into respectful anticipation. Thorin was commanding, he was valued, and even if he were incredibly rude as well, he was the only dwarf to actually pay attention to Bilbo. In fact, the hobbit somehow found himself disappointed when he seemed to fail the dwarf’s initial evaluation. What was it about the tall, raven-haired dwarf that demanded such validation upon a first meeting? In any case, Bilbo was probably the most forthcoming with that last bowl of stew he had squirreled away for himself than he had been all evening. And Thorin barely acknowledged the act. Just raised an eyebrow and asked:

“And can I get a spoon or do you expect me to slurp it down?”

Based on the little Bilbo had observed about dwarven table manners, the latter had definitely been his assumption. Clearly, another point to separate Thorin from the rest.

“I seem to be out of spoons. But just a moment! It shouldn’t take me long to hunt down my great-gram’s good silver and…”

“Here’s a spoon! Use this Thorin.”

Bilbo could only gape as his Love Spoon which had been locked in his china cabinet went sailing across the room to end up in Thorin’s hand. The dwarf with the hair in three different points seemed completely unapologetic at Bilbo’s betrayed and incredulous look.

“NO! WAIT! YOU CAN’T…!”

Bilbo watched as his Love Spoon touched Thorin’s lips before the dwarf pulled it away to give him an annoyed look.

“Yes, Master Baggins?”

Bilbo couldn’t respond. He was stunned. No, it was more than that. He was floored! He was flabbergasted. He was…married. By Yavanna’s Green Gardens, he was MARRIED!

“Master Hobbit? You’re looking a little grey, lad.” One of the other dwarves observed.

Bilbo couldn’t even respond. His head felt too light, his body too heavy, and his vision too dark. He was barely aware of the sensation of falling, before his world went blessedly dark.

***

Each of the Free Peoples of Middle Earth had their own point of pride. For the elves, it was their arts and respect of the land. For dwarves, it was their beards and their battle prowess. For men, it was their ingenuity and courage. And for hobbits, it was food. Now one might say, look at these silly little creatures who value that which should just be a necessity, but it was no small task to create seven individual meals each day and make each one just as tasty as the last. Culinary was an art to the hobbits, from the growing of the produce to the care of livestock to having all the proper tools in your kitchen. So yes, hobbits could be quite vain when it came to recipes and preparation. Therefore, it shouldn’t be too surprising that their courting customs also revolved around food.

When they reach their majority, every hobbit is encouraged to carve or forge a spoon that would be their Love Spoon. It’s a very sacred process as no talking can be done during the crafting of the spoon. All of their energy must be concentrated on pouring their hopes and dreams for the future into their spoon. Reflecting especially on what type of spouse would compliment them most, what type of marriage they hope to have, and what vows they would make to honor and cherish them. The symbols etched into their spoon would showcase all of this so that way when their future spouse used it for the first time, they knew exactly what they were getting out of this marriage.

And that’s it. Once someone has taken a bite from a dish prepared by the spoon’s owner, they are married in the eyes of the Shire. The act is reciprocated, and the lucky couple move in together in marital bliss. When Bilbo crafted his spoon, he wanted only the best for his future spouse. He slaved away in the hot forge every summer with the old dwarf, Ushmik, who rented it out during the warm months, trying to learn the art of silversmithing. He threw away spoon after spoon until finally settling on a design he liked. Camellia (longing for you), holly (domestic happiness), and jasmine (desire for adventure).

Bilbo had felt so proud of his spoon, feeling like he had pulled all of his favorite qualities from his parents’ marriage. However, every suitor who got a glimpse was immediately turned off by the jasmine. All except for Rafe Brandybuck, but that didn’t work out for a multitude of other reasons. So Bilbo resigned himself as the bachelor of the Hill, especially after his parents’ death. His Love Spoon was taken out once a week for a quick polish, but otherwise it was left to a life of sitting on a shelf. Never to meet the lips of another. And now Bilbo had a dwarven husband.

“I’ll be alright, Gandalf. Just let me sit quietly for a moment.” Bilbo requested as he slowly sipped from the cup that was offered to him by the silver haired dwarf who had made himself quite comfortable with Bilbo’s tea selections.

“You’ve been sitting quietly for far too long, Bilbo Baggins.” Gandalf snapped, jerking Bilbo’s attention up at him. “Tell me, when did doilies and your mother’s china become so important? I remember a young hobbit who would want nothing more than to know what was outside his door.”

That’s when it occurred to him. Gandalf didn’t know what had just happened. Bilbo gave a mirthless chuckle before spelling it out for the high and mighty wizard.

“He ate. From my Love Spoon.”

Gandalf’s eyebrows shot up as Bilbo snorted into his cup.

“Thorin did?” Gandalf clarified.

“Yes.”

There was a moment of silence between the two before Gandalf continued, much more gently.

“Bilbo…dwarves won’t know the significance of what just occurred. We can just pretend…”

“I’ll know, Gandalf.” Bilbo interrupted sharply. “I will know my Spoon touched the lips of another. How could I ever begin a marriage with such deception? How could you ask that of me?”

Gandalf heaved a sigh before softly settling himself on the neighboring armchair. His hand lightly patted Bilbo’s arm.

“I’m sorry, Bilbo.”

Tears welled up in the hobbit’s eyes even as he smiled up at the older being.

“Can I tell you…I’m actually relieved?” Bilbo barked out a wet laugh. “That Bracegirdle lass has been trying to steal it for the last couple of months. Wants the status of being married to a Baggins. Doesn’t matter to her if she can’t fulfill the vows or not. But I don’t have to worry about that any more, because even though I’m still in a loveless marriage…Thorin will be gone soon. I’ll still get to live the remainder of my life…as I have been.”

A sob tore its way from his throat and he quickly tried to cover his face. How undignified to be crying in front of a near stranger over a future he didn’t even want anymore. Wordlessly, Gandalf handed Bilbo a handkerchief and Bilbo thanked him as he worked to dry his face.

“Bilbo…I wish circumstances were different. But you don’t have to write your marriage away so quickly. Join Thorin’s quest, help him take back his homeland, get to know him along the way. I think he’ll surprise you, perhaps as much as you’ll surprise yourself.”

“Take back his homeland…from what?” Bilbo sniffed.

The wizard remained silent making Bilbo immediately suspicious as he glared up at the taller being through bloodshot eyes.

“From what, Gandalf?”

“Oh…just a dragon.”

“WHAT?!” Bilbo jumped to his feet, the handkerchief floating down to the ground, forgotten with Bilbo’s sadness at the moment.

“Is my new husband the craziest dwarf to exist?!” Bilbo demanded.

“It was my idea Bilbo…” Gandalf tried to interrupt.

“Then he’s the type of person to listen to wizards’ crazy ideas! Even better!”

“I think if you would just hear him out…”

“And just what is to be my role in this journey, Gandalf? The Company’s cook, the voice of reason?”

“The Burglar.” Gandalf sighed with obvious annoyance.

“The BURGLAR! I don’t know what stories you’re spreading about me, Gandalf, but let it be said I’ve never stolen a thing in my life! Perhaps some sticky fingers as a faunt, but really. And from under the nose of a dragon, no less. Well, you’ve convinced me. This is absolutely, without a doubt, the most INSANE…”

“DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS YET, BILBO BAGGINS!” Gandalf roared.

Shadows crept up from behind the wizard along Bilbo’s walls, cowing the small hobbit rather quickly indeed. Just as quickly as they had come though, they were gone, and Gandalf’s warm, albeit slightly apologetic, demeanor returned.

“Talk to Thorin. Ask him about the quest. Tell him about your spoon. Then decide if it’s worth it or not.”

Bilbo nodded enthusiastically even if he was quite sure as to what his answer would still be. At least it would get the crazy wizard off his back. Bilbo turned and walked straight back to his dining room, only to discover the dwarves were no longer there. Thorin’s bowl still remained though, along with Bilbo’s Love Spoon. The hobbit felt himself drawn to touch it. Almost as if it would feel different now that it had fulfilled its purpose. However, he drew his hand back at the last moment. What an absurd notion.

No, he was quite certain once his dwarven nightmare was over, he would wash and dry and place the spoon back in its usual spot amongst his china. His life would change very little except he knew in his heart he would catch himself wondering after his wayward husband; whether the dwarf reached his destination or not. He briefly entertained the idea of maybe writing Thorin before he remembered what awaited the dwarves at the end of their journey. Grim as it may be, there was a very decent chance Bilbo would be a widow in just a few short…months? Years? Just how far was this homeland anyways?

Bilbo heaved a large sigh, running his fingers through his hair. It had certainly been a long evening. Deciding to focus on just finding his guests and making sure they weren’t destroying his map collection or something next, Bilbo was about to head down the hall when he heard something that stopped him in his tracks. Music coming from his sitting room, and it was the most tragically beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

Tiptoeing on silent feet, he crept closer pressing his back against the wall next to the entry way as he poked his head around the corner. Yavanna have mercy, it was Bilbo’s new husband who’s gruff voice seemed to be penetrating his very soul. Bilbo ducked back out as he slid down the wall, plopping himself right there on the floor. Never had he heard such a sad tale and sung with such fervor. If Bilbo closed his eyes, it was like he was there. Feeling the heat upon his face, smelling the pines, hearing the ‘clink’ of tools against precious metals. So lost in the experience, Bilbo hadn’t even realized it was finished until he heard his name.

“Master Baggins? What are you doing?”

Bilbo’s eyes shot open as he looked up to see Thorin staring down at him with a raised brow. Bilbo quickly jumped to his feet, brushing his hands down his front if only to distract from his bright red cheeks.

“I was hoping to have a word with you actually, if you don’t mind.” Bilbo noticed the bald dwarf and the white haired one coming up behind him. “Privately, if I may.”

Thorin looked over his shoulder in time for the bald dwarf to scowl and shake his head. The white haired dwarf looked appraising before nodding in agreement.

“Very well.” Thorin decided, leading Bilbo down his own hallways.

Bilbo nearly had to jog to keep up wondering if the older dwarf was Thorin’s father or something based on the appraising look he had received. Once Thorin deemed they were far enough away, he spun around to face Bilbo.

“Speak.” He ordered.

Bilbo screwed up his face trying to keep from focusing on the rudeness that seems to be this dwarf’s default language.

“I feel, we may have gotten off on the wrong foot.” Bilbo began only to be interrupted by Thorin’s snort of amusement.

“Is that all it was?” The dwarf demanded, his arms crossed performing a similar circle of Bilbo as he did in Bilbo’s entryway.

“Well, I…it’s not as if I were expecting company!” Bilbo spluttered.

“No, I imagine you didn’t. You probably don’t expect much beyond the safety of your Shire norms.”

“And just what are you implying, Master Thorin?” Bilbo demanded, squaring up to the taller being as much as he could.

“I know you.” Thorin dropped his voice.

Bilbo’s heart leapt forward at the implication of such a simple phrase. And he’s found him lacking. Everyone finds him lacking. Thorin leaned in closer, and Bilbo just knew he had to see the fear dancing over his face, because his smirk slipped just slightly and his eyes narrowed.

He continued his thought though in that low, deep drawl of his. “I had you pegged five seconds into our meeting.”

Bilbo swallowed around the tight lump forming in his throat.

“Please, enlighten me.” Bilbo challenged.

Thorin held eye contact for a long moment, before his shoulders squared back, as if in effort to pull himself up taller. Bilbo refused to be cowed though, which seemed to be noticed by the twitch in Thorin’s eyebrow and the quirk of his lips.

“You have the biggest burrow in the town. I noticed as I passed by…twice, thinking it had to be an inn or a palace.”

Bilbo opened his mouth to interrupt, but Thorin continued.

“So you are a hobbit lord which means you probably have too much time and too much money on your hands. You are polite, kind-hearted, considering you haven’t thrown us out yet, but you don’t go out of your way to help people if tonight has been any indicator. You thirst for adventure, as noted by the sheer volume of maps on your walls, but you fear danger. Because why else would you still be here?

And that’s what can’t be overlooked. I can handle spoiled, pompous, inexperience, but your fear would doom us. All I’ve asked of my kin is loyalty, honor, and a willing heart. I can afford to accept no less from you. And if that is something you can’t give, stay here.”

Bilbo swallowed and swallowed again after Thorin had finished, his eyes having fallen to his toes long before Thorin had finished. It was perhaps the third time that he tried to speak that he realized he absolutely hated how close to the truth Thorin actually managed to land. The only part Bilbo felt he could argue was he wasn’t kind-hearted. He hasn’t felt anything but cold and numb in that cavity for a very long time.

“Y-You’re…”

“Wrong?” Thorin mocked.

Bilbo winced. He thought it was an unnoticeable thing until Thorin snorted.

“As I thought.”

Slowly, a little flame he didn’t know he had anymore began to take life inside him. His chin lifted until he was able to meet Thorin’s gaze directly.

“You are though.” He admitted softly, his voice gaining volume as his confidence grew. “Yes, you are. Because you think you have people figured out the moment you walk in a room. Well people have the capacity for change! Not that you seem to be keen on allowing it. I’ve had one evening and half a song to summarize just what you came here asking for my help with in the first place! You say you know me, but you’ve only guessed at a fraction of who I am. And it’s okay that you don’t believe it yet. I just know I want to be there when you realize it for the first time. That even a little hobbit from the Shire is capable of rising above his shortcomings and taking on a dragon.”

Thorin’s brows pinched together, and Bilbo took it as a victory as he watched his eyes swim in surprise and perhaps a small amount of admiration. It was a heady feeling that Bilbo figured most didn’t get to experience from Thorin Oakenshield. So he drank in every last drop until he was drowning under that gaze. A small shout from down the hall broke the spell, and Bilbo was able to avert his eyes feeling a little foolish at staring for so long. He was certain to have made his guest quite uncomfortable which was not very becoming, no matter how rude said guest may be.

“In any case,” Bilbo cleared his throat, his attention most decidedly staying clear of the dwarf before him. “I’m sure you will want to get some rest. You have an early morning after all. I do hope you and your Company have a pleasant evening, Master Thorin.”

“Wait!” Thorin’s arm reached out and snared Bilbo’s own before he could completely turn away.

Bilbo blinked up at him in alarm, and the dwarf released his grip.

“So…will you come?”

Bilbo’s jaw dropped. “I…”

He couldn’t be serious! Did he not just spell out all the ways Bilbo would be an imposition? Bilbo huffed a sigh, feeling suddenly and inexplicably weary.

“Why don’t you ask me again in the morning when I have a fresher perspective?”

Thorin hesitated before giving him a sharp nod.

“As you say, Master Baggins.”

Bilbo watched him all the way down the hall. It didn’t occur to him until Thorin was out of sight completely that he never quite managed to follow Gandalf’s suggestions. They barely touched the quest, and Bilbo didn’t tell him about their predicament. But perhaps that was something Thorin had managed to get wrong about him. Bilbo wasn’t kind. Because this selfish need to hold on to Thorin a bit longer, hold on to the idea of finally having a spouse, wasn’t a kindness. To Thorin…or himself.

#birthday plot bunnies #the hobbit #bagginshield #accidental marriage au #redemption winner

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honeycombdumbass · 10 months

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I've been stuck on what MHA oneshots/works to write more of, so I figured I could just do a poll and pray for the best.

#mha #bnha #tododeku #tddk #todoshindeku #bnha fic #fanfiction #sports festival arc #Jurassic Park AU #Miraculous Ladybug AU #Space AU #Accidental Marriage AU #middle school tododeku #middle school izuku #middle school shouto

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wehangout · 2 years

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Let Me make it up to You

Gallavich Week 2022 - Day 2: Quote based. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” - Rita Rudner.

Read on AO3

@gallavichthings

“Are you telling me I got drunk-married, agreed to stay married for the sake of health insurance, lied to my family about having an entire relationship with the stranger I married, only to end up with someone who doesn’t know how to use a fucking dishwasher?”

You look up from an old Guns & Ammo to cock an eyebrow at your new husband. “I grew up poor, Gallagher. Didn’t even know what a dishwasher was until worked in the kitchen at juvie.”

“I grew up poor, too, but I still know that once the dishwasher is full you have to turn it on and do the load in order to have clean dishes!”

“Yeah, well …” You tongue your cheek and say nothing else because this is new, this is all new, and you’re not sure how bad it could get.

“Yeah, well, what, Mickey?”

“I’m sorry, okay? Let me make it up to you.”

“Make it up to me? How?”

“I dunno … I could suck your dick?”

Gallagher’s eyes narrow. “Seriously?”

“Sure. That shit worked out well the night we got hitched – might as well make the most of the situation, right?”

“Jesus Christ … fuck. Yeah, okay.”

“Will you at least try it?”

“I’m not trying your fucked-up healthy food that has nothing but oats and shit in it.”

Gallagher snorts. “I can assure you there is no shit in quinoa.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Or oats,” he says, shoving another mouthful in.

“Still not gonna try it. And why are you being so pushy about it? We can’t seriously like that shit?”

“I do, actually. So you’re just gonna sit there and eat your burger?”

“Yes I am.”

“On Meatless Monday?”

“Oh, you know what, Gallagher? Fuck you and your Meatless Monday bullshit. I never agreed to doing that shit. In fact, I was wholeheartedly against it from the second you mentioned it.”

“Yeah, but you could be supportive.”

“Of oats instead of meat? Fuck no.”

“There are no oats! God, why are you such an asshole?”

“Why are you such a pussy bitch?”

“Fuck you. Eating this way is good for my state of mind and you’re being a real tool about it.”

“I …” You swallow back whatever you were going to say and think of the pills he keeps in the bathroom cabinet. “Yeah, fair enough.”

“No apology?”

“No. Maybe I could offer you’re a blow job instead?”

“I’ll take it.”

“Do you ever pick up after yourself?”

“Do you ever chill the fuck out?”

“A pair of socks,” he says, flinging them at you. “It’s not that fucking difficult.”

“Neither is not being anal-retentive.”

“I’ll give you anal-retentive.”

“Ooh, please do.”

“Mickey!”

“I’m sorry, okay? Look, I’ll try harder to put my socks in the laundry basket when I take them off.” You get out off the couch and do exactly that. “I’ll even try and remember to do a load of laundry every now and then.”

“A half-assed promise doesn’t make up for the amount of filthy washing I picked up today.”

“Fuck. I mean, I could blow you?”

“Really?”

“I know we’re still new at this, but have you ever known me to not want to blow you?”

“Yeah, fair enough. Okay.”

“Why do you have to be so aggressive?”

“It’s called dental hygiene, Gallagher.”

“It’s called brushing until you bleed,” he says, disgusted.

“My gums don’t bleed, asshole.”

“No, but you do get toothpaste spit all over the fucking mirror. It’s gross.”

Both eyebrows shoot up and you continue to speak around the toothbrush in your mouth. “Seriously? You licked my ass last night, but toothpaste spit is gross?”

“Could you just learn to clean the mirror after you’re done. It doesn’t take more than five seconds to grab a cloth and wipe the spit away. It’s common sense and common curtesy.”

“Whatever, Captain Clean. Are you done busting my balls over toothpaste spit?”

“No.”

You spit into the sink and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “Will it shut you up if I get on my knees and choke on your dick.”

“I – yeah, it might.”

“Quit hogging the remote.”

“Fuck off, you don’t even like TV.”

“Of course I like TV. Everyone likes TV.”

“Not true.”

“Name one person who doesn’t like TV.”

“My brother.”

Gallagher yanks the remote out of your hand. “Please. How am I supposed to know if that’s true? Also, you have, like, seven brothers so that’s only one-seventh of an answer.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you like me to be more specific? Colin. Colin doesn’t like TV.”

“You’re literally lying to my face right now, aren’t you?”

You stare into his eyes for a few moments before relenting. “Yeah. Sorry. Want me to make it up to you? There are other things I can do with my mouth that aren’t lying.”

“You’re offering to blow me again?”

“Hell yeah.”

“You know that’s not gonna work every time, right?”

“Isn’t it?”

“Fucker. Go on, then.”

“You finished the milk and didn’t get more?”

“The fuck?” You throw him a glare over the rim of your coffee cup. “I don’t even have milk in my coffee.”

“You have it in your cereal.”

“I … fuck. Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Mickey.”

“Sorry, man, let me make it up to you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Let me guess, another blowie.”

“You gonna tell me you don’t want it?”

“Fuck no.”

“Mickey?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened to my watch?”

“Oh. Fuck. Uh … you want a –”

“Yes. Get on your fucking knees.”

“So, don’t be mad.”

You sit your beer on the table and look up at him. “Great opening, Gallagher.”

“Something happened. I take full responsibility, but I want you to know it was an accident.”

“Spit it out, man.”

“I tripped. And spilled my quinoa.” He pauses, runs a hand over the back of his neck. “It spilt all through your shoes.”

“My shoes – you mean my Timberlands?”

“Yeah.”

You get to your feet, beer forgotten. “Are you fucking serious? Those are literally the only shoes I have and now they’re filled with oats and shit?”

“There are no oats –” he starts, then stops himself. “You know what? I’m sorry. It was an accident and I’m sorry.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

“You gonna pay for my new winter boots?”

“No.” He grins and steps closer. “But I could blow you.”

“Oh.” One side of your mouth tilts up to match his smile. “Yeah, okay.”

#gallavich Week 2022 #ian and mickey #gallavich fic #gallavich #shameless fic #my fic #accidental marriage au

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romeoandjulietyouwish · 2 years

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perc'ahlia accidental marriage sounds hilarious

(ngl I had to google what this was bc I couldn't figure out how you could accidentally marry someone)

Just imagine that the two of them get super fucking drunk after a job and they're in Emon and somehow the conversation of marriage comes up and they're straight up not even together yet but then they wake up in the same bed with wedding rings on?

And then that would make Vex the first lady of Whitestone? And he Has to tell Cassandra because of all the paperwork that causes and gods she's going to be so annoying about it.

But somehow neither one of them even considers divorcing, not until Vax brings it up in conversation once he finds out and let's just say it's Awkward.

They keep it a secret for as long as they possibly can, both because of embarrassment and because they kind of...don't hate it which is far weirder than they were expecting.

#accidental marriage au #critical role #vox machina #lis makes hcs #percahlia

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seafoamdew · 1 year

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Haha new Hijack au!

The Haddocks and the Overlands are rival clans, sworn enemies for generations. Though Hiccup had no clear idea why that was, all he got from his father were curses and declaring that 'the Overlands were a bunch of no-good, thieving, rat-faced scum!' Hiccup decided not to open that jar of curdled yak milk.

A recent attack by Krogan and his fliers had left the Riders to take refuge in the closest island, which happens to be the once-secret home to his rival clan. Found out and imprisoned by Jack and his tribesmen, Hiccup is determined not to let whatever family history they have keep him from resolving things peacefully.

With the threats of Dragon Fliers finding out about Jack's island home, he reluctantly lets them stay...

If only their snaggle-tooth leader stopped trying to eagerly make friends with him like some puppy-eyed fool.

#my art #hijack #frostcup #httyd #rotg #hiccup horrendous haddock lll #jack frost #rival clans au #thanks twia for the name #this one's for you boo #ohhhhh forbidden loooove~#and also hiccup triggering an accidental marriage/proposal?#one tribes friendship bracelet is another's betrothal gift

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tennessoui · 10 months

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brain will not let me sleep until I say

same age padawans au where they’ve been in a weird wired frenemies thing for ages but now that they’re both mature adults (all of 24/25 years old) they’re more friends than enemies….

And it’s Obi-Wan that Anakin tells when he’s decided he’s going to leave the Order, not anyone else. He has a wife. There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and it made her want their relationship to stop being a secret so they could really have kids. He has to leave the Order. Doesn’t Obi-Wan understand?

Obi-Wan, who has been a little in love with Anakin since they were younglings, does not understand. Not one bit. Instead of wishing him well and helping him pack, he goes to the Council and requests a mission in the Outer Rim….perhaps a month long or more…perhaps undercover? No contact with anyone on Coruscant. And maybe they could assign Anakin Skywalker as his back up? He can help with the undercover aspect.

And at first, Anakin is pissed because he was planning to resign from the Order in the next few days, but Obi-Wan convinces him to go on this mission with him….one last mission as a Jedi. To say goodbye to the Jedi life.

Obviously, Obi-Wan sort of wants to go on one last mission with Anakin because in his dreams, he wants the mission to go so perfectly that Anakin stays with him the Order. But realistically, he mostly wants to go on this mission to say goodbye to Anakin and then let him go, soaking up all his warmth and light, memorizing every casual touch bestowed on him because he knows they’re ticking down to the last handful of seconds together.

But then obviously the mission works TOO well and Anakin falls in love with Obi-Wan but doesn’t admit to it even to himself before they’re on the ship about to head back to Coruscant and Anakin realizes he doesn’t want to leave this planet because he doesn’t want to leave Obi-Wan if it could always be like this so he crashes the ship during take off so they can stay longer because he’s 24 and doesn’t know how to handle the immensity of his love except through destruction

#Kit’s silly lil AUs #obikin #I couldn’t finish the Democratic fic part today writing was so hard :(#I offer this instead <3 #hopefully will get it up tomorrow #but anyway: no physical cheating but probably emotional infidelity as anakin falls in love with obi-wan but doesn’t notice #and a lot of pining but being brave about it obi-wan which could also turn into finding his rebound in the outer rim obiwan #which would then turn into seethingly jealous anakin #+ bonus points is that their cover is theyre newly weds #and obi-wan is like <3 you can touch me mister we have an open marriage <3 #and this poor guy at the bar is being stared down by a vicious anakin and he’s like uh does your husband knkw that ????#but yeah here for pretty newly knighted obi-wan creating a situation where he gets to feel anakin touch him and kiss him on the cheek #and hold his hand and call him pet names #all the while being convinced that this is all he will ever get so he has to be satisfied with this #that the yearning will stop and he will find comfort in the memory of anakin’s arm around his shoulders once he’s left the order and obiwan #to be with his wife #also obi-wan gets wasted one night and someone asks how they met or when they fell in love #and obi-wan accidentally tells the drunken truth #not the cover story #and it makes anakin go 👀🧐#but then he gets too drunk and forgets it

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transingthoseformers · 5 months

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Imagine a situation where Orion and Megatronus become Optimus prime and High Lord Protector Megatron respectively, but

This is one of those universes where there's ✨ salacious implications ✨around the dynamic between Prime and HLP, but these two haven't gotten the memo yet

They'll figure it out eventually

#maccadam #transformers #accidental marriage au 100 go #this works if they weren't romantically together beforehand but by fuck they will be soon #megop #I'm really just smashing these fuckers together like Barbies aren't i #Megatronus #Megatron #same guy 1/2 #Orion Pax #Optimus prime #same guy 2/2 #continuity vague for more freedom

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lokischocolatefountain · 5 months

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Unveiled || Chapter 1

Fandom: The Mandalorian

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Rating: PG 13 for violence. Subsequent chapters’ ratings may vary

Word count: 1.7k words

Summary: Saving a life was noble. You didn’t expect applause or praise for it. But kriff it would be nice if you weren’t treated as the scum of the Earth for it.

A/N: Gonna make this the SADvent calendar instead of the advent calendar. At this point, I have to admit that I won’t be posting everyday. But I’ll still post when I can. When I have internet and am able. Lot of shit happened. My friend and I got fucked over in three different cities in a very short period of time. We were humiliated in Venice, robbed by an intentionally dysfunctional system in Riyadh, and almost sexually exploited in New Delhi. It’s a round the globe horror story. But some good things happened too- we made friends through our shared trauma and I got to meet my internet friend I’ve been moots with for a loooong time. So in true fanfic writer fashion, here’s a fic I’ve been writing posted during some of the most difficult days of my life

“Go!”

He screamed loud enough to break through the sounds of the intensifying battle. You ignored his heart-wrenching screams and dragged him with all your strength, your own weapon slung over your shoulder and reachable should you need it to defend the wounded Mandalorian. You were a warrior, trained through years of life or death battles. It was why you were sent to the Mandalorian covert on Navarro to train with them. But this was an impossible one. Even for you. Even for the man you were dragging past enemy combatants using your own body as a shield.

You settled him against the walls of the cave you’d dragged him into. You reached into your armor and retrieved the bacta patches you had with you. You took a look at the patches and then at the large gash on his neck that went up who knew how far. The hope you had for saving his life dwindled. But you couldn’t give up. The motto of your teachers back home rang loud and clear in your head.

No soldiers left behind. No life collateral.

“Not s-safe. Not safe you— Listen to me,” he choked out as you leaned in close and inspected his wound.

“Shut up, Din! Shut the fuck up!” You spat as you retrieved more medical supplies from your pouch. You’d done this many times in training. You could do this. You could fucking do this!

“My helmet…” he whimpered too soft to be audible if you weren’t so close to him.

“It’ll be okay, Din. I got you,” you reassured as your brain finally comprehended the exact risk he was in and you knew what you had to do.

“This is gonna hurt at first, alright?” You warned more than asked as you inserted the needle. It was the last thing you did before he lost consciousness in your arms. The last thing you did before making the big mistake that would change the course of both your lives.

———

“Din.”

He looked up at you from his bed, resting after a long session in the bacta tank. You imagined him underneath the helmet, the only face you knew in the covert other than that of the children who were yet to take the creed. His features came to memory, bloodied and bruised and at the edge of life itself. His strong nose, his messy black hair and blood. So much fucking blood. That he was alive at all was a miracle.

“Din?” You called again when he did not respond.

“Why are you here?” He asked, his voice stoic, emotionless as it came through his helmet. It was how it always was. Something about wearing a helmet filtered out part of the humanity of voices. But there was something about the way he spoke this time that was chilling to you.

“I…I just wanted to see if you’re doing well.”

He snorted, turning away from you as though your mere presence disgusted him. Rage boiled through your veins as pain shot up through your legs as a reminder of the blow you’d taken in the process of saving his fucking life.

“You know what? Fuck you, Din. I know you’re hurt and shit, but you have no right to speak to me like that.”

“Get out. Right now. I don’t want to see your face ever again.”

You flinched at the way he spoke. The coldness of his voice and the words themself. You turned away from him and walked out of his room, bearing the pain in your leg as you trodded on to your own room. You didn’t expect him to thank you. No, that was not why you saved his life at the risk of ending your own. But you didn’t expect him to behave so appallingly either. You raked through your addled mind for clues on what you could possibly have done to deserve this. Did you say something before the battle? No, it couldn’t be. You’d exchanged few words before battle and he was…nice. As amiable as could be for a man who spoke in grunts and sighs more than he did words.

You crashed on your own bed, whimpering when the act shot another piercing sensation throughout your body. It did nothing to alleviate your anger for Din, reminding you of what you’d done to yourself for him. For someone you thought a friend until now.

On a strange planet, fighting for space and acceptance, Din was one of the first people to be amicable to you. Well, you took his grunts and sighs as a sign of friendliness. For all his stoicism and his beskar like facade, he never did snap or show signs that he wanted you to fuck right off. So you stuck by. Stuck by when training, when you ate your meals and he sat by listening to your idle chatter. Stuck by when he took a hit and needed saving.

Perhaps he had a concussion.

That should be it. For a man clad fully in beskar, he had a soft heart. Never did he speak to you or anyone else in the harsh manner he just spoke to you. You shivered as images of his dark messy hair and blood so dark it matched returned to your mind. His closed eyes and his limp body collapsing on you as you attempted to remove the shrapnel that has somehow gotten underneath his helmet to his skull. A sharp pain shot through your leg again and you let out a cry. It was a mess pop emotions. You were happy it did not hurt as much as it did on the battlefield yet annoyed that your body was outside your control.

You jumped, both from the pain and from the opening of the door. You looked up, hoping to find the nurse droid that visited you every now and then to check your vitals. The gleaming gold helmet on a tall, strong stature told you that this was no small visitor. Despite all the beskar and the strong shoulders that carried an entire covert, she was very human.

She said you name, in a way that was gentle, calming, yet told you that she could be relied on.

“Did we win?” You managed to ask through the spasms of pain.

“We did,” she said, stopping in front of you. “You did well, warrior.”

You snorted. “I succumbed within minutes of the battle.”

“You did. So did a few others. That does not make you any less of a warrior. You were valiant.”

Despite disagreeing, you nodded. You were in no mood to start an argument with the leader of the community that was housing, feeding, teaching, and caring for you. No matter how much you disagreed with their way of life.

“So, do you visit everyone who got a little scratch of their leg?”

“I do, yes. But my visit is not just to check on your wellness.”

“Oh?”

“You saved one of ours. Din Djarin.”

You said nothing, feeling too embarrassed to acknowledge it even though it was true. It would sound too much like boasting if you accepted. In poor taste in your dismissed it. It was best to take a sip out of the mandalorian pog soup and remain silent.

“Do you know what this means for his future?”

You tilted your head as you considered her words. What the kriff was she expected to say to that? What if it was a rhetorical question and you’d just acted like a womp rat in the snow about it?

“You removed his helmet, soldier.”

“To tend to his wound,” you quickly interrupted. “You— you didn’t see what— you weren’t there! He would’ve died if I hadn’t done that,” you sputtered, shaking your head in disbelief of the implication in her words. The Mandalorian were quite strict about wearing their helmets. Once a child took the creed and wore their helmet, they would never take it off again. But there were exceptions. Right? There had to be. Receiving emergency medical help had to be one of them.

“I know.”

You waited, not for long, for her to proceed. For her to reassure you that it did not count because you had no other choice but to remove his helmet to save his life. With no words coming from her, you shot up from the bed, pain be damned and dragged yourself to where she stood.

“He would have died!”

“I know,” she said, more sternly this time.

“Go on then, tell me how you are going to punish him for the audacity to be alive.”

“He became an apostate the moment his face was seen by a living thing.”

“An apostate?”

“He has strayed from the way and will be cast out from the covert. He is Mandalorian no more.”

You shook your head frantically. That was some bantha shit! “No. No, no, no. No,” you sputtered. “That is not fair. Look, it’s not his fault. He was unconscious when it happened— when I did it,” you said, thumping your chest. “He didn’t do anything wrong. He told me to go away. He was ready to die. Kriff— you can’t— This is not fair,” you screamed, your voice breaking at the cruelty of it all.

“This is the way,” she said in a manner that was too cold for you to consider calm.

“Oh, for void’s sake, spare me the kriff about the way. What kind of way of life is it to cast someone out for being alive?” You spat, all your reservations about rudeness and your sense of cultural relativism flying off into a blackhole.

“There is only one way for him to remain in the covert and he rejected the proposal. Said he could not possibly do that to you.”

“What is it? Does the way ask for a human sacrifice? Is that what it will take to keep him from being excommunicated from everyone he knows and loves?”

“I understand you think us barbarians, soldier. I will discount it on account of your efforts to save one of our own. And for how you have protected us. There need be no blood. Only the establishment of a riduurok so that he will have been seen by the only being he is permitted to show himself to.”

“What is a riduurok?” You asked, even though you had a sinking feeling about it.

“Marriage.”

Masterlist

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colormepurplex2 · 1 year

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Blood Bride | MYG

▻ Blood Bride ↳ vampire!Yoongi x human!f.Reader ⤜ Vampire/Paranormal Investigation/Occult Enthusiasm ⤜ Strangers/Lovers, Accidental Marriage | angst, smut ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 9,756 ⤜ Summary: When a single drop of blood changes your entire reality, you have no one to blame but your best friend, Jimin, and your apparent inability to say no to a dare—especially when rumors of vampires are involved OR you accidentally give Yoongi your blood and become his blood mate

⚠️ Talk of the occult/blood rituals/cults, foul language, crass humor, blood (drinking, spilling, mild play), hyper sexual advances/blood makes you SUPER horny, teasing, kissing, unprotected sex, voyeurism/exhibitionism, creampie. Yoongi has big fangs and an even bigger ego. Please check the beginning of each chapter for specific warnings.

Chapter 1: I Dare You

Chapter 2: Here Comes The Bride

Story is complete.

Part of the Bangtan Writers HQ March 2023 ‘Yoongi, Marry Me’ Writing Event.

A special thank you to @downbad4yoongi for betaing and believing in me.

Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad

◅ Back to Master List

#min yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #vampire yoongi #bts au #bts vampire au #yoongi x reader #bts accidental marriage au #bts strangers to lovers #bts imagines #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fanfiction #bangtanwhq

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monster-cock69 · 8 months

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Selkie Peter and confused tony who was just trying to be polite by picking up the kids oddly heavy coat

#starker #peter parker #tony stark #avengers #marvel #fantasy au #kinda #selkie peter #spiderman #iron man #prompt #someone please write this #accidental marriage

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sea-owl · 5 months

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What happens the next time Penelope, michael and Phillip drink?

Do they buy a boat?

The next shenanigans don't happen for a few years, but they do end up buying a zoo with Simon, Kate, and Sophie.

It was that time of year again when the Bridgertons gathered up all their children and went to visit Edmund's grave. The spouses give their Bridgertons the space needed for this time, and they all like each other. They're all friends. So they use this time to just hang out with one another.

Well, some drinks were made, tongues were loosened, and brains became foggy. At some point, Phillip got started talking passionately about conservation efforts for plants and animals. Michael and Penelope nod along. They know this speech by heart, sober or drunk.

Well, guess who happens to work at a conservation zoo as a vet that needs new owners. Kate comes up with the idea then Sophie runs the numbers each of the six of them need to provide. Simon works out the legalities and permits they would need. Penelope and Michael starts thinking of a marketing campaign they would need for it. Phillip, being the most knowledgeable along with Kate, about conservation helps there.

The next afternoon they wake up with an email congratulating them on their new zoo.

Well fuck. They certainly can't tell their Bridgertons, not right now. They'll wait until they get back or maybe a little bit longer so they can heal from the tiring trip.

In the meantime, they might as well go see their new zoo.

#bridgerton #this should be considered a crack post to the au #some people buy a limo or late night tv sale items #not them #they buy a whole zoo #crack post #accidental marriage #bridgerton spouses #simon basset #kate sharma #kate sheffield #sophie beckett #penelope featherington #phillip crane #michael stirling

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bi-buckrights · 9 months

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Fuck it Friday

Tagged by @panbuckley @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 thank you loves 💕

I haven't posted a snippet in forever, I promise I haven't given up on army marriage of convenience! It's hard to find a snippet that won't spoil the second half of the fic, so here is something from chapter 1.

Interact with this post if you would like to be tagged when it's finished ✨

They walk out of the courthouse with Chris standing between them, his little hands clinging to each of them. Buck hasn’t known this kind of happiness since he was a kid, playing outside with Maddie until long after the sun went down. Even when him and Abby would laugh together endlessly on the couch of her apartment, his chest never felt so filled with joy – not the way it does now, with Christopher’s hand in his and Eddie smiling over at him. Buck is married. He’s married to Eddie Diaz. He can’t believe that this is his life. He thinks that he must’ve done something good, to be here. That somewhere in his miserable past, he must have gotten at least something right in order for Eddie to want Buck around badly enough to marry Buck. And he knows it won’t be forever – that’s why they wrote their own vows, so it wouldn’t be a total lie – but it will be long enough that they won’t have to be separated. And if one of them gets deployed, they know the other is waiting for them at home. That’s really all Buck could ever ask for. Getting to come home to Eddie and Christopher, knowing they won’t ever be forced to live apart on opposite sides of the country; he could die a happy man knowing that they want him around just as much.

Tagging @rogerzsteven @prettyboybuckley @alyxmastershipper @heartbeatdiaz @heartshapedvows @cowboy-buddie @thewolvesof1998 @spaceprincessem @bekkachaos @prince-buck-diaz @911onabc @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy if y'all have anything you want to share ✨

#if you notice me accidentally quoting a song from sound of music no you dont #I didn't catch it until i reread the scene lmao #fuck it friday #buddie #buddie wip #army marriage of convenience au #my writing

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12romy · 5 months

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Here's a little present for @my-brain-dump for the prompt game!! Sewis with a crossover of Criminal AU and accidental marriage! Thanks for the ask, I promise I'll tru to write the other asks soon ;)

Enjoy~

The plan was simple. Get in, get the goods, get out. Lewis should've known things never went smoothly - but then again, maybe it was on him for trying to rob a priest. A very much not innocent priest, but still.

Sebastian wasn't one to do a sloppy job, but they might have underestimated Padre Fernando. It was really their luck, to enter the church and find themselves in the middle of a meeting of the local mafia instead of finding it empty like planned.

Lewis panicked a little, but Sebastian made his the discreet code gesture of"follow me" and started to talk.

"Padre!" Sebastian cried out dramatically, and took Lewis' hand. "Please, marry us!"

How Lewis managed to keep his pokerface was a miracle.

The priest made a movement and his men sat back down, a frown on their face but no guns out yet.

"You... Want to get married?" the old man said slowly, suspicious.

"I am leaving the country tomorrow," Lewis blurted out, taking over. "I have this job offer and I don't know when I'll come back... We want to get married before this, in front of God. Please, Padre..."

There were some hushed talk between him and his goons, and Lewis was tempted to run away right now. Sebastian's hand was moist, but maybe it was Lewis' own hand.

"Alright, but I'm afraid we will have to do this quickly."

Fuck. Lewis thought he'd refused, and they'd be able to go on their merry way.

"Oh, thank you so much, Padre!" Sebastian exclaimed, with a unnerving enthusiasm, and Lewis forced a smile on his face.

"Thank you," he breathed out, and if he sounded emotional, it was probably because he was just a little upset with this turn of events.

Lewis might be a thief, and a criminal, but he was a fervent catholic. Marrying was no joke, especially marrying in front of an altar, blessed by a priest.

It was done in a ten minutes. Padre Fernando had made a short speech, read a passage of the bible, the usual "until death do you part". Lewis had said the I do, then Sebastian, and it had felt so... Ungodly.

"You may now kiss," the Padre said, with a peaceful and innocent smile on his face that made him look like a nice grandpa and not the mafia boss he was.

The kiss felt... Rather less ungodly - which was a little surprising considering the amount of tongue it involved. Sebastian was a very good kisser, and Lewis would lie if he said he hadn't thought about kissing him a few times before. Just not in this context exactly.

The priest barely had the time to say the last prayer to conclude the wedding when suddenly, the door opened, and a whole squat of policemen entered, heavily armed.

"Hands in the hair, Alonso!" one of them cried, then took in the situation, Lewis and Sebastian in front of the altar. "Civilians? Come here, quickly!"

The priest started to draw his gun and Lewis pushed Sebastian on the ground. It left the line clear for the policemen to disharm him - by shooting a bullet through his arm.

The rest was a bit of a blur. They were interrogated - as witness, of course, and innocent bystander. The police bought their story, and they received several congratulations on the wedding.

They made it out of the station unscathed, and unattested, which was quite a feat.

"It's only a matter of time before they realise we're not innocent. They might check," Lewis said worriedly.

"I guess now's a good time to leave the country, huh?" Sebastian smiled. "Tell me, what are your thoughts on the Caribbeans? I hear it's lovely at this time of year, and well... We do have a wedding to celebrate."

Lewis groaned in despair. "This is serious, Sebastian. We got married for real!"

"It's fine, we didn't sign any-"

"We married in front of God!" Lewis screamed out, pointing at the sky. "You hardly get a more important witness! Who cares about pieces of paper!"

Sebastian hesitated for a second. "Well... Might as well do it seriously, then, no?" he offered with a smile.

Lewis searched in his eyes, hesitant.

"Okay..."

"Cool!" Sebastian grinned. "I'll get us fake IDs with matching family name!"

"This is not a cover story, Seb, this is serious!"

"I know it's not a cover story," he huffed. "That's why we're going on a honeymoon, and that's why we're wearing the same last name from now on. We should also get rings, I know exactly a nice jewelry store where we can steal them from."

Lewis was just a little bit charmed.

#sewis #lewis hamilton #sebastian vettel #feat nando as a priest 😌#my writing #prompt game #f1 rpf #criminal au #accidental marriage

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