#abuse survivior

[greenevergreens]

Narcissistic abuse is real, and don't let ANYONE try to convince you that the hell you went through didn't happen and no matter what DO NOT let ANYONE convince you that YOU are in the wrong for talking about the abuse you endured and giving that abuse the appropriate name of narcissistic abuse.

#narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse survivor #narcissistic abuse is real #narcissistic abuse is no joke #narcissism #npd #narcissists die #narcissists are abusers #narc abuse #narc abuse is real #abuse survivior #abuse #tw abuse #emotional abuse #child abusers #narcissists fuck off #narcs fuck off #psychological abuse #mental abuse

[unwelcome-ozian]

“Peg's very young alters formed around her father's abuse. But when she was 8 another alter group formed, as Peg reported, from ritualized sexual torture by a neighbor who forced Peg to ritually injure two other children. By age 13 Peg had fallen victim to her older brother's sexual violence as well and this led to more splitting. In her teens and twenties Peg added more alters in response even to nontraumatic life disappointments, since the splitting mechanism worked so well to insulate her from suffering.” ― Roger Lewin, Broken Images Broken Selves: Dissociative Narratives in Clinical Practice

#D.I.D. #dissociation #ritual abuse #t.w. r.a. #abuse survivior

[stick-ball]

saw a hc about jean moreau being hyper sexual especially post-ravens. thoughts? feelings?

thoughts AND feelings! Oh the joy of being given a chance for a hot second to discuss this. You came to the right place my love. ❤️

Trigger and age warning : rape, sex connected trauma, dissociation, psychological abuse, controlling relationships, discussion of sexual acts.

Okay so, being hyper sexual. You know who does that in the books? Andrew actually. I know some might look at me weirdly rn like, 'what the hell are you talking about, he doesn't let anyone touch him'. Yeah, that's true! But that doesnt take away from the knee jerk reaction. (I'm sorry I know this isn't exactly what you asked but I need to discuss andrew first, and that has a lot to do with jean, bear with me).

Andrew finds a partner that he can to some limit trust (leverage, deals, careful observation, "training" them to behave how he tells them) to follow his instructions, which gives him a sense of control. They can fuck, but it's him who's doing it. It's him who's touching, kissing ect. The other person, of course if they consent, get to partake but not create the experience. It's one of the very, very valid scenarios of hyper sexuality as a responce to rape. He is rewriting every poisoned nerve ending in his body. He doesn't actually get off from the sex. For his own release he needs privacy, as shown in the books. Andrew's problem can be, that due to his truly inhumane trauma he can fall into the mindset of defining his sense of self through sex. It's an action and he's a tool in this scenario. Then again, We circle back to control, which is also a key feature of his decisions and protectiveness. Taking total control of the situation which used to be utterly outside of it, with no way out of it. Rewriting it, giving the traumatic experience a positive ending, hell an ending - when, and as suddenly as he might want it to end, is the motivator here. I think what he finds satisfying in terms of sex, not control, is giving sexual consent to his partners and, which he finds just as important, them giving it to him. Because it wasn't given to him. It's a way of building trust.

The motivations sound pretty nice, even if heartbreaking, don't they? Seem uplifting? The problem is, even if in good faith, this process can be very harmful, trauma surviviors mention that (at least ones I discussed it with personally) it feels good, but in the long run it does what this type of coping mechanism always does to your brain (similiar reactions can be seen for different traumas), which is hurt it. It's a form of desensitisation that limits your brain's ability to percieve the situation. It's hard to rewrite and leads to hot and cold kind of reactions, so yeah, having a relationship with a capital R is, difficult. That's what I always understood as Nora saying they are never actually okay (andrew and neil). Or at least partly understood it as.

Okay, so this cleared a couple things up. Now JEAN. Jean and Andrew share some factors of their trauma. While not treated as such, Jean was technically fostered by the Moriyamas, and well, Andrew's experiences with being fostered are faaaaar from what it's supposed to be as well. The difference is in Andrew's situation everyone tried to pretend the horror is not happening, there must have been a lot of manipulation and coercion and just plain fucking gaslighting in these houses. Its hard to talk about but I can imagine some of these monsters wanted him to act like he is enjoying it, and thats just out if the emotional range of dealing with for anyone. Jean knew he's in a trap from day one. Moreover, when it comes to the rape's he was victim of it was ordered by Riko to be done by others. That's a different level of fucked up. What's even more important as distinction here is he stopped, when Jean stopped reacting and fighting it. Because what Riko wanted wasn't violation, that was the tool. He wanted to psychologically break him. When the fish stops flailing on the cat stops pushing it around.

And Riko was constant, his modus operandi was regular, and the psychological torture was the motivator behind most of his "conditioning" of Jean. This is a situation where the abuse has a cause for the victim. It sounds sick and I don't agree with it, but it's a game in their mind. In the books we can see that he learned how to limit the amount of attention Riko gave him and as we know he is not confrontational like Andrew with his problems. And yeah I don't mention Neil as confrontational here bcs he has conditioned himself to run from everything and say he's fine to everything so..., sometimes it erupts frk mit but that's not exactly the same, its a last resort.

Circling back, I think Jean is more likely to be sex repulsed. For him sex, which was a form of punishment, is a cause of anxiety. Sexual tension is easy to mix up with nervous tension because of a feeling of losing control of the situation. That's why if we do get romance in the new book, I am putting my money on it being very messy from his pov. The magical thing about trauma responces though, is that they're not black and white, and someone who is sex repulsed might also seek an ending to their anxieties through it. Yet, it's ts a bit of an opposite motivation to the one Andrew has. When Andrew thinks of himself as a tool, Jean is more likely to think of himself as an object. There's a difference. While Andrew wants to take control, Jean is more likely to use it as either a way to retraumatise himself - so his version of hypersexuality would include less control and more roughness and violence, actually trying to rile the partner up. It might stemm for him from low self worth or be a way of letting out his angers and frustrations. It's not that he is used to being hurt, it's that he doesn't expect anything different. I also think he is more likely to have problems with opening up in therapy. Where Andrew is active Jean is passive, and the opposite. The upside is he might actually be more likely to communicate emotionally than through rules and laws, it will take longer, but be a smoother transition, because more people understand it than Andrew's way of building relationships.

Hope this anwser satisfies you, I'm sorry if I got a bit carried away. 😅

#jean moreau hc #jean moreau #and #andrew minyard #i suppose #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #jean moreau headcanon #the sunshine court #the sunshine court hc #aftg headcanon

[antiradqueerguy]

photo to text: "Trans Troubled Teen Industry Survivior!!!"

Tw: mentions of abuse and abusers

This pisses me the fuck off, victims of the troubled teen industry are still fucking fighting for people to not only believe them but to put their abusers in jail.

that is not fucking cute.

Edit: The troubled teen industry is still fucking active too, people are still getting abused and killed because of these schools and summer programs.

*don't harass this absolute bozo*

#anti radqueer #anti #FUCK THIS PERSON #If you want more information about the troubled teen industry please watch the documentary “the program cons cults and kidnapping”

[martian-martian-martian]

“As a survivior of abuse/SA, I am a pro-shipper and I am proud to write fucked up rape glorifying fiction about children. People should be able to explore dark themes for their own healing.”

Okay. Sure.

Why are you posting it in public and actively trying to gather traction so more people see it and foster a community around it?

What part of your healing is making up cute little ice cream date imagines between a child and their adult rapist you ship them with? Gushing 24/7 about how much it delights you to see them together, and how much other people should agree with you.

Which therapist told you to draw children gleefully being raped by adults, and then post those images without proper tagging or warning into forums and communities where actual children are?

Heal all you want.

But when you make it everyone’s problem, it becomes a Big Deal.

Art and speech that actively endangers, gaslights, and twists the minds of impressionable members of a fandom community is not protected speech.

You are not Vladimir Nabokov.

You are a damaged, very likely groomed person who has no concept of how social media affects people in palpable and destructive real ways, including, clearly, you yourself.

And if you’re reading this right now going “oh but thats just for sickos, I’m fine” I assure you, you are not.

Narratives where lack of consent is normalized are everywhere. And while you don’t have to never interact with disturbing ir problematic media, you do have to constantly be on your guard, and desconstructing your attitudes about fiction.

Whom would this narrative harm?

How would the actual demographic being portrayed feel about this depiction?

What is the takeaway from this relationship being seen as okay, and having the edges blunted off of it?

Not to mention:

Do I like this ship because the ACTORS have chemistry and are properly aged, and this is distracting me from the sinister narrative? How can I better display my love for the dynamic between the performers on screen without glorifying the relationship they depict?

What would it take to make this dynamic non-problematic? Could my energy be focused better in advocating for THIS version, rather than trying to apologise or re-package (see: age-ups) a deeply fucked up arrangement?

I’m not here preaching. I find myself doing this on a daily basis. And sometimes the answers can be scary and disappointing.

But if you want to ENJOY fucked up or frightening dynamics of any kind for the thrill and the horror of it, you have to guard yourself against the kind of propaganda that can otherwise genuinely change your world view.

If you think that spending hours every day perusing fanfiction that glorifies rape, racism, transphobia, ableism —- that that won’t affect your real life in any way?

Science says you are wrong.

[ceceswepe]

Amber mentioning how Johnny can’t look at her , but she “a survivior” can look at him just shows how delusional Amber is and how much in her own world she is. She doesn’t understand that if you are a dv victim you do not want to look at ur abuser. Johnny is actually acting just the way someone who has been through abuse does. Meanwhile she done the complete oposit. Just the way she described being hit shows she has no clue how it feels to be in that position you are being beat up 

#amber heard and johnny depp trail #tw amber heard #tw johnny depp #tw domestic violence

[iamtheothersideofthemoon]

Things to remember: things to remind myself of if ever I’m to get back on track towards fully living; my dreams and more....

#major depressive disorder #ptsd #abuse survivior #survivor #traumatized #broken #hopeful #sad #alone #fighting #im trying #trying to recover #trying to stay alive #suicide

[unwelcome-ozian]

#feelings #emotions #minimizing #abuse surviviors #trauma effects #abuse recovery #trauma recovey #abuse #trauma

[getpaulhoward]

Just finished recording a podcast with Lori Poland for National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect Louder than Silence podcast !

What a lovely, dynamic, and fun chat!!  We chatted about Tomorrow-The Movie, my journey as a survivor, activism, reaching outside the bubble, importance of media and artists, and so much more!!

I’m really looking forward to people tuning in on June 10th when the episode is released!!

Listen here https://endcan.org/all-episodes/ 

Watch Tomorrow at www.TomorrowtheMovie.com

#end can #nonprofit #activism #advocate #change the world #survivior #CAS #child abuse #child abuse survivor #filmmaker #short film #tomorrow

[rec0very-j0urney]

What is Trauma Bonding? | Kati Morton

#video #trauma bonding #trauma bond #kati morton #trauma #recovery #cptsd #complex ptsd #abuse survivior

[an-anchor-of-hope]

#Dark photo #black and white #healing #control #mental health #mental illness #survivor #abuse #abuse survivior #positive #positivity #positivevibes #positivethinking

[stick-ball]

Hi! I'm about to end my whole career!

Here goes the Riko rant that dear @capcavan asked, demanded and begged for.

You know, I get it.

So here's the thing. I get it, Riko sucks. He is the bad guy we all got hung upon. Why? Because he is a rival for our protagonist. He is an angsty, young guy, born into wealth that came from money laundering and human trafficking. It's despicable, the Ravens are bullies and he himself makes lots of bad things happen. Yeah sure, I get that, whatever.

Being raised as a superstar must've been really, really difficult for you.

But I want to really dig deeper right now, this is a Riko rant after all, and you need to really know your fighters. So, to start: a huge trap in toxic families is that the children, even when grown up, will refuse to identify their parents and guardians as negative and toxic people. Not even outside influence can really sway them, usually. Kids that get away from a sinister situation can later tell they were abused, that it wasn't right, but still, they don't get the specifics of what and why, and they are doomed to repeat the same abuse and call it good. Call it right. And sometimes that's substance abuse, sometimes thats domestic abuse, sometimes that's racism and sexism and xenophobia they will grow into believing as the way the world works. Sometimes, thats nepotism and sadism. Only thing that can help is therapy and an environment removed from the control of the original abuse, lots of therapy, lots of space, years of it. A perfect case of a typical toxic family is Aaron.

A perfect case of that could also be Riko.

And here you can call bullshit because Neil had such a fucked up, abusive father and he *knew* it was wrong. Yes, he knew it was wrong for his father to hurt him to the measure he went. Why? Because his mother protected him, because his mother feared his father, not adored him. Because his mother took him away and kept running. A mother, a role model a child feels very strongly about, subconsciously.

Riko was taken from his mother. He was pushed aside by his father and left in the care of a family member, who was easy to glorify for an impressionable child. Because he was a legend. In fanon I often see Tetsuji's character taking a very background role in everything, and sure, he seems pretty background to Neil, because every bad guy seems background to Neil in comparison to his Father - besides Riko, who is the one dangling that threat in front of him. Tetsuji just wants his property back, Riko is playing with fire though. So yeah to us, reading the story, Tetsuji is a total asshole among many such men in the book.

But to Riko he must've meant almost everything for a long time. A crucial thing about Tetsuji is, he is a sadist. Oh sure, sorry, it's only called sadism when done against his team, right? Against Jean or Kevin or Neil? When it comes to Riko, who was in his care for all of his formative years, it was just strict childbearing right? He is a Moriyama after all, so he is evil from birth.

Yeah, I must've mixed something up about Riko being beaten to unconsciousness several times being mentioned in extra content. You think that was a one, two, third times the charm occurance?

Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you’re worth a damn off the court— yeah, sounds rough.

I always wondered how sarcastic Neil was saying this. I mean, he definitely meant to land a punch where it would hurt. And he actually knew Riko as a little kid, so he knew more than most.

Stockholm syndrome is very common among victims of childhood abuse. I would know, anyway. It's like the most logical option - the survivior is living in a dual reality. These people are my family, the care for me. They provide for me. They want me to be the best. They also abuse me. They hurt me, but it's for the best. Hurting me is a expression of love. I am grateful to them.

I often wonder how many people who read the books know what a commodity is. A commodity, in the most basic terms, is a basic good that can be used in ccommerce to interchange with goods of the same type. A commodity is not a king, or a queen, or a bishop or a knight, or even a rook. It's a fucking pawn. It's cannon fodder.

Riko is worthless to his family. Riko is just a tool to Tetsuji to generate profit. Riko wants to be worthy to his family. Riko most likely loves his uncle and is ready to do the most insane thing if only it gives him the one thing he desires, which is being seen as worthy by his family.

Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time.

Then there's grooming. Grooming is more obvious when it's done by a stranger who sees the child randomly or in some intervals of time. It's much harder to resist when it's constant. To Riko, Tetsuji is a good person, he is a hero, he is his family, he cares for him, they have a common goal. Riko wants to be what Tetsuji wants him to be. There is a price to pay for it, of course. There is a price for everything. But the price doesn't matter. Riko wants to pay the price he has to pay, to be what Tetsuji wants him to be.

And the thing is, do you think Riko learned how to use his money and crime connections to control others? How to gain power through fear and pain? You think spending his whole life locked in a fucking stadium he taught it to himself how to break people in body and spirit? That torturing them was his special interest? Or maybe are you forgetting that amongst valid responces to trauma, besides fight, flight and freeze there is also fawn? Don't you think it's much more likely, being groomed and enamoured with his captor (bcs thats what Tetsuji is to me, their captor) he impersonated him to the best of his ability? That he learned every leaf in the book from him, because he was his only connection to the family, to his father, to his brother. He was a legend, the creator of exy. Wasn't he always trying to be worthy of him? To be good enough to be loved and wanted? To be great full enough?

I am not saying this absolves him of any of the things he did, but people do insane things under lesser influence, things they would never do otherwise. And I am not talking of people groomed from early childhood, I'm talking of sane adults, being dragged into dangerous and destructive ideologies.

I know it’s not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you’re physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don’t think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit.

Because it isn't, is it? The things HE does ARE his fault, definately. But the reason why? That is not that easy to pinpoint. And Riko is so unstable it hurts. He is so far removed from real life he is completely incapable of conversation. He is a child brought up in a grave, but...

Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago.

To me Riko is besides all other things, wasted potential. All the things he dreamed of? He could have had them. He was talented, he was determined and had a lot of courage, but all of that was utterly wasted in the violence and malice he was soaked in. In all the violence and malice he created in return.

So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.

The most interesting thing about All for the game though is, that in every other book Riko dying would've been the big bad wolf being defeated. But here, that's just a bleep on the radar. Because Riko was a product, not the producer. What I love about All for the game is it shows none of the madness and evil in life started or ended with me or you, with Riko or Neil. Not even with Keylight or Tetsuji. Fuck it did not even end with Nathan dying. It all ends how it begun. With a deal with the devil made in the back of a car, bought with blood money.

#i said what i said and you can cry about it #no vacuum storylines here thank you good-night l #this one is gonna make me so popular with enemies of the state i can feel it #riko moriyama #riko moriyama headcanon #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #aftg headcanon #aftg rant #trauma discussion