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arijackz · 2 days

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PICK A CARD: Your FS' Secret Kinks

❦ “She lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain. I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air." - Raymon Chandler, The Big Sleep

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, change any pronouns to apply to you.

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✦ Pile One ✦

Poor lil pooh pooh. This person struggles to “fill their cups up” so they get off on denying themselves pleasure. They secretly like the feeling of hitting whatever rock bottom looks like to them. Honestly, they want to be saved. They are wallowing at the bottom of a well, waiting for their savior to swoop in and throw them a rope.

In a more literal sense, they want a person to be their reason to live. Their reason to feel daylight on their skin again. Everyone and everything around them is unsatisfying and “fake”. They want something real to coax them out of their hell and entice them with all the thrilling things life has to offer.

However, they also like this dark and brooding side of themselves. They have a bit of a corruption kink.

They fantasize about a virginal angel coming down to save them, but they end up convincing the angel to sink down to their level.

They like exciting, spontaneous people who are willing to jump up and run out the door to do something fun at any moment, but think innocent fun. Like going to the movies to theater hop, and getting away without paying. Or, running around the Target parking lot in shopping carts and trying not to bang into cars. Maybe even steal a few street signs.

Innocent childhood fun that you’d see in early 90s movies. But add a sadistic twist to it that only they are aware of.

You would be the innocent virgin (doesn’t have to be true, it's their fantasy) who is unknowingly leading this beast (also not true, they are just extremely self-deprecating) to your pretty little happy places which they plan to desecrate.

They want to fuck you in your family home and make a mess of your childhood bed, making you scream so loud that you’re family starts to look at you differently. They want to take you to your favorite movie spots where you usually chill and hangout with your friends and turn it into a place where all you can think about is them covering your mouth in the back of the theater while you’re squirming in their lap, trying to escape out of their grip as they edge you to the new Marvel release.

They have a kink for turning all of your innocent, fun moments into their very own filthy fantasies.

Ps. Fisting came out of the blue so lube up!

Come To Me, My Senseless Angel

✦ Pile Two ✦

I don’t believe this is a future spouse, to be honest. This might be a situationship you need to move past. They seem emotionally immature, or at least this is a side of them that exclusively comes out when they’re aroused.

They can be quite abrasive and feel like they are constantly under attack so they’re incredibly defensive. They have a history of lashing out at their loved ones when they feel overwhelmed and get so blinded by their emotions that they disregard their affection for their partners and say really unforgettable, harmful words which permanently alters the connection for the worse.

They carry guilt from these actions and are in a constant state of regret. In this state, their sense of pleasure is a little twisted. They get turned on by causing a genuine issue in the relationship. They like the idea of pushing you to your limit where you’re this 🤏 close to your breaking point and at your absolute lowest. It’s when you reach your rock bottom and realize the need to move away from this person and you scream out, “I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.”

They like to grovel. You know that cycle where somebody fucks up and then they’re in the dog house buying flowers and being extra fluffy just to get in the victim’s good graces so they can do the same thing over again. So far, pile one and two’s respective partners like to feel like shit. They secretly like the moment where they completely fuck up a relationship and have to beg on their hands and knees to get their person back orrrrrr they get off on emotionally tearing someone down to the point where they get on their knees to bed for this person’s attention.

Either way, there's a lot of fucked psychological issues underneath this fantasy that I’m not unpacking here because it differs from person to person.

In its best light, this person glorifies struggle love. At its worst, this person is purposefully emotionally abusive with the intent to tear their partner down for their own sexual gratification.

They’re conscious enough to know their actions are toxic but don’t have the emotional maturity to work past their actions. They’re at the phase where they’re just aware and are like “I know I’m shitty but that’s just who I am. If they stick with me and the sex is good, it’s meant to be.”

I’m honestly getting twitter relationship hypotheticals with this one. Iykyk.

They’re also an edgelord. Less in an internet cockroach way and more in a witty- can be funny if done well- way, but they get pleasure from shocking people nonetheless. This energy can be directed toward you to piss you off and annoy you with the intent of getting in your pants later.

I’ve been guided to switch the conversation briefly: If this resonates and is someone you are dealing with. It is time to move on. This person gets gratification from hurting you and will not get past that high of tearing down a relationship and then having a messy recovery. They have their own issues to work through and cannot see how they are hurting you. There is no future with this person, they came into your life to teach you a lesson about your self-value. That cycle has run its course and it's time to move on.

To be honest, I’m not a fan of this person and don’t even want to list the explicit kinks that came out but I will just in case this message is for you but you’re not sure.

Random messages: Hot tub/pool sex, hair pulling, break down crying, interracial, milk, broken condom, “i fucking hate you”, “whore”, mirror, drunk sex, complaining, smack a bitch, twitter

P.S. You’re too sexy for the bullshit! There is bigger and greater out there, you just need to believe that for yourself!

This person will not get a mood board out of me.

✦ Pile Three ✦

Okay, so this person has some deep religious guilt. This is a male presenting person. I am being clear with their sex because it plays a role in this reading. They have some majorly repressed feminine energy. They may even be attracted to the same sex.

This is a fs reading, so they are likely bi, pansexual, or trans. Either way, their family is close-minded and is not supportive of them. They were forced to leave home so they could finally live their truth. They have lived their entire life fitting somebody else’s narrative. They were the hypermasculine bro type to “cover up” their femininity.

So, they have a kink for hyperfeminity. It’s almost to the point where they obsess over the caricature of girlhood. I see lots of pink, high heels, full-glam, all-day mall shopping, pinup curls, flashy jewelry, sleepovers, day spas, that scene in Scott Pilgrim where that girl is like “SHE’S PROBABLY LIKE 25!”, and everything else that gets associated with “girlhood” nowadays.

They fantasize about you in your receptive energy, being waited on and cared for hand and foot. They like to observe the way you move. Everything about you and your feminine aura is incredibly alluring to them. The way with each breath your breasts fall, the way your hips swat with each step, the cute way you match your accessories with your outfits. They notice everything about you.

You know those paintings of wealthy women lying on their sides and being fed grapes? That. They’re not in the serving role, they're the painter. Their kink is capturing you in those everyday moments where the world seems to be waiting on you like you’re the collective’s queen.

They see femininity in a higher light than the general population. They see women as automatically deserving of this type of care, they also want this care.

They have a secret hard-on for pregnant women and women with swollen breasts. They have a lactation kink. They fantasize about cumming in you over and over again. They see you as a Goddess, so they want to see you masturbate at church on an altar, like you're waiting to be worshipped.

A lot of their fantasies, they’re not even included in. It’s just you looking God-like and being worshipped by the world around you. This person may hate when you wear clothes. They act like the fabric is committing a sin by covering your body. They just want to capture your essence. Like an admirer and a student.

P.S. Dick game goes CRAZY. They watch a lot of women-focused porn to study what gets a woman off. Like Maddie in Euphoria, here is there to study.

Pretty In Pink

✦ Pile Four ✦

WE GOT A PLEASURE DOM IN THE BUILDING Y’ALL STAY CALM. As my mama would say, they love your dirty drawls!

You could do no wrong in this person’s eyes. They’re the golden retriever type. Head empty, leading with heart and IN LOVE>>>>>

You are the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow they’re chasing. They appreciate a good fling but they’ve never felt this before. The emotions you stir in them are unprecedented, this is puppy, sandbox love that most people lose touch with after life jades them.

This is raw love at its most unprocessed. I taste honey.

They have a kink for the power you have over them. It’s like you have a carrot on a stick and they’re the pig being led to a love den they can’t escape. And they’ll happily be the squealing pig in every lifetime they get with you. This is a soul yearning.

You will know this person because they will proactively pursue you and they will have no doubts in their mind about it. They are really attracted to your physical form, your curves. Even if you’re on the slimmer side, they like your structure and the dips in your spine. They’ll stare at you when you’re talking and zone out, thinking about how attractive they find you.

They’re not used to having to try to get someone to sleep with them. They have to put effort towards you and they like that. This person is downright thirsty and craves intimacy with you.

Their fantasies aren’t even dirty, they’re passionate. They want to put you in a mating press, with your knees pressed all the way up beside your ears. They want to penetrate (could be with a toy) deeply and touch that gooey part of you that makes you see stars.

They want to see an imprint of them in your lower belly. Any position where you’re in their arms is a go for them because they like having you. They want every moment to be just you and them away from the world. So very sweet and intimate. They also love marking you, expect lots of hickeys.

Ignore them from time to time too (healthily, these conditions should be discussed beforehand)! They see you as the ultimate prize, so if you delay their satisfaction, they’ll feel like they’re chasing again, which gets them off. They like to feel like they’re convincing you to sleep with them. You both are consenting, but they like the idea of you having better things to do and they’re trying to convince you to stay and party with them.

They are very action-oriented and love movement. Anything that involves an adventure together, they are down for.

PS. Surprise them with a bubble bath together, they’ll love that. And tease them while pulling their hair a bit!

Ode To My Darling Sun

#arijackz #pac #pick a card #tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile #astrology observations #muah

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crazilust · 1 day

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What main character energy should you embody for this next chapter

From left to right : Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3.

Pile 1

confirmation/what’s coming instinctively : Brown eyes, brown, guitar, vynils, green shoes, docs, bangs, rings (lots of them, Virgo/Earth energy, hardwood floors, The Emperor, Goddess energy, Water sign, Water dom, Loves water, loves nature, loves animals, Names that start with a J, F, P, S

the message :

You should embody the main character that moves out of her town to start her character ark. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll physicall leave your town (although, you might!) but you definitely need to leave some things behind. I’m sensing friends, maybe even family members. Your environement is getting too small for you, which is maybe why I’m getting small town vibes. You are someone that needs a lot of recognition, even from yourself and you’re not getting any where you are right now. Are you proud of yourself? I doubt it. But you need to make the proper steps to find your place in this universe and there is a place for you but you need to look for it! I see you in a new apartment, maybe a bit lonely at first, but it’s because it’ll be the first time you really get to know yourself and discovering your true self. You have been repressing your true taste, your true interests, your true self with those people you’ve been surrounding yourself with. It’s not healthy and it’s getting dangerous at this point cause you’re starting to lose yourself. Leave. That would be my advice for you.

Pile 2

confirmation/ what i’m getting instinctively: Fighter, Orange is the new black, Piper Chapman, Blue, Glacier, Grey, long hair, fake smile, dimples, the emperor Reversed, bad relationships with caregivers, siblings, many friends, Aquarius, Pisces, car, driving, roadtrip, name that starts with M, N, X, V.

the message :

Woah! Okay! Love this energy, but hard to catch honestly. You don’t like being seen, huh? It’s okay, me neither! The journey you should embark on is the one where you’re gonna get thrown into an environment that is completely unfamiliar to you. A bit like pile 1 in the sense that it’s not something you’re used to, but contrary to that pile, you don’t decide to go into this environment, you’ll get thrown into it. I can sense you have some sort of anger issues and this will be the perfect environment to finally let it out. I can feel that although you have a very polished appearance, you actually feel like a wild animal inside. In this new environment, you’ll finally face yourself as you really are. You won’t be able to fake it, or to act like you’ve always done it. It won’t be possible anymore. You’ll have to be your real self, even tho it might disappoint people around you. Oh, you probably don’t want that. Too bad, because you will disappoint people, but you’ll make some real connections out there. When you’ll get out of that environment (because yes, it is temporary I feel), you’ll look back and won’t even recognize yourself. I think you’re quite excited for that. Deep down.

Pile 3

confirmation/what i’m getting instinctively: Twilight, Bella Swan, break up, torture, painful love, toxic love, mean, smiles with bad intentions, agenda, skinny, long hands, pale (or pale for your ethnicity), doesn’t like their hair, Aries/Taurus/Sag/Pisces, Fire dom, Neptune dom, Jupiter Dom, lucky but fails to see it

the message : Oh I’m getting major Bella Swan vibes lmao. Not necessarily her temperament, but mostly what she’s going thru. You’ve been thru a bad breakup and that person has left you empty inside. You find yourself staring at the window, and wondering why it ended the way it did. Stop obsessing over the past. You’re at a point of your journey where you need to change gear. You cannot keep going like that or you’ll litteraly become a shell of yourself. Get up of your bed, take a deep breath, take a walk. Anything. But reminiscing on someone that is gone, won’t do any good. Btw, they’re gone now but they’ll come back. I know you’re excited, but they’ll come back when you won’t care and then you’ll be like : “huh, i don’t even see what I saw in you anymore”. It’ll be a very satisfying feeling for you. In the meantime, cause you’re not there yet, focus on healing. See some friends, get into a hobby. Anything that could take your mind off of him. Why do you fixate over him? Was he something he did? Or didn’t do? Focus on moving on. That’s your journey for now. That’s the part of movie where we all root and get excited for the protagonist to get on her two feet. That’s your part. You got this.

• 🧡🍯👑🐰🪀 •

and that’s all from me folks, thank you so much 🧡

#tarot tips #tarot spread #free tarot reading #free tarot #pac reading #pick a pile reading #tarot pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #tarot spreads #daily tarot #tarot reading #tarot witch #astro community #astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology notes #birth chart

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becauseimanicequeen · 2 days

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Why in the world would you like toxic characters? Why are you so proud of that? What is it even to be proud of? What's wrong with you?

Well, my dear Anon. If you only knew how many times I've asked myself those very same questions…

And the answers always come down to: It’s fiction.

And even though fiction is a vital part of life (just like any other art form) and you can learn a lot from it (you have no idea how many toxic people I’ve been able to avoid, before they even found out my name, thanks to my love for toxic characters and seeing their red flags), fiction is also just fiction.

The characters aren’t real, even though they can seem like it. Just because I love a character that's toxic as fuck doesn't mean I would condone real people who behave that way.

Also, I’m not hurting anyone with my obsession with toxic characters. It’s not like I'm forcing anyone to think like me (and for the love of all things holy, don't do that!).

Besides having a healthy obsession with the toxic characters I love, I’m not very emotional (for lack of a better word) about what I watch. I can be intrigued by toxic characters without either excusing their behavior and actions or hating them (because there’s enough hate in the world for me to do that shit). I can watch taboo topics and other shit that most people find triggering and not be triggered (even though I see the taboo topics for what they are). I can watch problematic stuff and see beyond it to what’s really being said (even though I see the problematic stuff for what it is).

But that’s just me. And I would never force my perspectives on anyone else because I know the majority isn’t like me (which is a good thing, btw).

So, if you don’t vibe with my shit, block me. I don’t mind.

Trust me. I’ll survive. You’ll survive. The world won’t fall apart. We’ll both be okay. Just block me.

Because I will keep loving my favorite toxic fatherfuckers. I won't excuse their behavior and actions. But I will love them.

And the only one who can stop me is ME. But I don’t want to because I love all the shades of toxic bitches and red flags.

Like Boston from Only Friends.

And Todd from Not Me.

And Chalothon from The Sign.

And Ray from Only Friends.

And So from House of Stars.

And Yai from Big Dragon.

And Way from Pit Babe.

And Boeing from Only Friends.

And let's not forget Vegas from KinnPorsche!

And Yoden Ryoji from Dangerous Drugs of Sex.

And Yong Jie from HIStory 4: Close to You.

And Rio from The Novelist.

And Ritsu from To the End of the World With You.

And definitely Ming from My Stand-In!

I love them all because I have issues. But so do all of them, which is precisely why I love them.

Thank you for your ask.

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ghouljams · 1 day

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https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYerK2t9/

Ghoul look at them why are they so biteable.

Gnawing on them like a chew toy

Let's do some cowboy!Logan... I want him big and beefy, as he should be. I don't know what his Darling does but they're sure showing up at Walker Ranch a lot.

You spot Logan as soon as you flip out the blade of your pocket knife to slice a few flowers off the bush by his front gate. He gives you a look that asks "really? Are you serious?" And makes his way over. Honestly it's not the fact that you're caught trespassing and borderline stealing that stops you dead in your tracks, it's the fact that the man walking towards you is shirtless. Shirtless and positively glowing with sweat.

Your eyes dart down to his boobs- pecs, his pecs, they're pecs on men (you remind yourself of this hastily as you pull your eyes back to his face). His straw hat is casting little pinpricks of light over his sweat slick skin. The shadows over his face are light and playful, they fit the attempt at a stern set to his mouth and drawn brows. You're sure he's trying to look stern with you, but it's coming off terribly charming. You stare at the soft muscle of his stomach, the softly shadowed definition of abs under well fed skin. You wonder what he's been working on to get so strong... and sweaty...

You look back at his face in time to catch him signing. "Why's it always you setting off the alarm?"

He stops himself, the crooked smile dropping as he opens his mouth to speak instead. You stop him quickly. "I didn't know you has alarms." It seems an easier lead in than anything else, and it takes him by surprise. His fingers twitch, his mouth opening and closing, like he isn't sure which one to use to communicate. You raise your hands, motion for him to go on.

"You-" he stops, waves his hand to clear the sentence and start over, "talking is a lot of energy." He explains instead, his fingers pausing like he's worried you didn’t understand. Though you don't see why he would feel the need to explain himself to you, you understand him well enough to get by.

"My cousin is Deaf," you offer in turn, "and it lets me talk during movies." Logan moves to sign and you rush to add, "I'm not great at it-" his smile returns even while your cheeks start to heat, "-so go easy on me."

"Its always you with the alarm," he signs a second time, and you glance at the fence. Logan reaches to pull your attention back, two fingers guiding you gently by the jaw to look at him. "You make a habit of tresspassing?" Ok actually you don't know that word, but you can guess. Better not to answer that one, even if you think it's supposed to be a joke.

"Anyone ever tell you, you are some grade A beef? You know they're callin' this place 'can't Walk-er Ranch' right? On account of you bein' worth a baseball team." You do your best talking under pressure, and you've always been good at talking. Logan blinks at you. He looks back where he'd come from, up towards the farm house, then back to you.

He raises his arm and flexes, patting his bicep with the same pride you've seen cowboys pat their favorite horse with. It makes you laugh. Logan has a habit of doing that you're finding. He pats his stomach.

"Only thing I don't miss about the military is the food," he signs, "my brother's a good cook, and I like to eat."

"Eat what?" You blurt before you can stop yourself. God you spend too much time sending stupid ass videos to your friends. Logan's eyes trail down your body slow enough you know he means you to see when they land between your legs. He's not as slow on the way up, tipping his head to the side as his eyes meet yours.

"Anything," his hand waves, before he brings his fingers to his lips. They spread open in a 'v' and he rolls his tongue between them with a smile.

You don't need to know asl to understand that. You think you might have heat stroke.

#cod x reader #x reader #logan walker #logan cod #cod logan #logan ghosts #logan walker x reader #logan walker cod #cowboy au #cowboy!logan #yay for selectively mute logan #and yay for a man that knows exactly what he can get

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drdemonprince · 10 hours

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I recently finished reading your book Unlearning Shame, and I absolutely loved it. I found the conceptual framework of Internalized Shame and your techniques for it so very helpful, especially when most ideas of mental health (anxiety and depression, trauma, etc.) have seemed insufficient and useless to me.

However, there was one thing that kind of bugged me the whole way through reading it. Your primary focus was the shame people face as part of marginalization, but often, this too felt insufficient for me. Like, I do face a lot of this flavor of shame: I'm an autistic trans woman, feeling like I'm cringey or childish or creepy or obscene or whatever are things that bug me daily, and restrict a lot of my freedom.

However, a lot of the shame I deal with stems from some kind of awful things I've done in the past, and this is perhaps the loneliest and most difficult kind of shame I deal with. To be fair, I think a lot of this has been very closely linked to my marginalization: people would interpret genuine mistakes of mine as signs I was some awful, manipulative predator, and quickly oust me from their friend groups as a result. If I had been an allistic cis man I would have faced far gentler behavior, or at least far more people would have justified the shit I did.

Regardless, very little in the book dealt with shame tied to guilt and wrongdoing. I remember there was mostly just this one tantalizing line about how even previous members of neonazi groups can benefit from speaking shame, but other than that, I didn't see much.

So my question here is, do you know how to deal with the shame of doing something really bad, and facing the consequences?

Thank you for asking, I'm glad you liked the book!

There are answers for you throughout the book, I think. Arguably, many of the examples of shame I outline involve feeling regret or shame over one's actions. People who do not recycle "enough" and feel profound shame and anxiety about it are people who have done something "wrong," in their minds. So are people who have repeated internalized transphobic/racist/fatphobic/etc messages to other people who share the same identities as them. These people's actions are systemically caused, and they are suffering from those same systemic forces that provoked them to take actions they feel bad about.

You aren't any more morally culpable than any of them, and you aren't qualitatively different from them -- even if you are likely telling yourself that what you did is so much "worse" and so much less justified.

You can find much of the advice that I apply to people who feel ashamed about an experience (a rape survivor, say), apply equally to you as someone who might have done something you view as "wrong." You can also look to the material in chapters 7 and 8 about finding grace and perspective for others who have done wrong to us, and apply much of that yourself. A person must be held in community before they can be held accountable, for example. Understanding the circumstances that contributed to your behavior is important, which it sounds like you've already done some work on, as is contemplating the needs you were attempting to meet with your actions, and the social supports you currently still need in order to move forward.

If someone has taken actions that go against even their own morals and they feel profoundly ashamed about it, I'd say they are generally still in a state of far-reaching systemic shame that goes far deeper and requires far more healing and support than just addressing the morality of their own actions. There's usually a lot of shame about one's identities, deprivation one is facing, fears of abandonment and attachment insecurities, and other major issues going on. Because a person wouldn't just violate their own moral precepts for no good reason.

No one wants to feel that they are a horrible person according to their own personal standards of goodness. A person's actions always make sense within their own context, and so when someone does something "wrong," either they have done something that they do not actually believe to be wrong, but fear societal judgement for, or they have been pushed to the brink by extreme distress, deprivation, abuse, indoctrination, political repression, exclusion, or likely a combination of those things.

I hope this is making sense. If you feel ashamed of something you have done, you need the exact same healing, safe vulnerability, social support, and trust as someone who is ashamed about something over which they have no control. There is no difference, you are no more deserving of that shame, and shame still will not prevent you from changing your behavior for the better. You can believe wholly that your actions in the past were wrong, and uphold your current values in the present, without deserving to feel any more shame about it.

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rin-and-jade · 2 days

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A Cup, and A Thread: A Post About System Communication

Hey, you know classic string telephone? The one made with two plastic cups and a piece of yarn, i suppose you recognize that old-school science toy? It's one of the simplest inventions that showcases how messages are sent from one place to another!

This little invention is very fitting to explain how inner communication works, so i hope today's theme of analogy will help you understand all of my messages im about to share, with a twist of a fiber.

There's a lot of things i want to address on this topic, thanks to all my 8 great friends who had helped me gather a variety of insights on what seems to be the problem, i have the answers right here that will be shared to the community, because of them!

You know what communication is?

I sure do, but let's both revise on what it means, according to Merriam-Webster, it's defined as..

"a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior."

It also means "a technique for expressing ideas effectively."

..Alright, we should be in the same page now, but, do we actually know what counts as 'good' communication in system context? After some examination from the given data, it was a resounding "No." This can also mean many may not have a clear idea on it, which will also be addressed.

Okay, tell me please?

Before i do tell, remember that communication is diverse, with no perfect or right way to do so. Just like animals, where different species use unique methods to pull it off, means can systems have their own unique styles too.

There are a few examples we see in animals; like how some use pheromones to talk to its own kind, while some read off from their signature body languages, and some use tones or cues that is meant to be recognized specifically, to each their own meanings.

So, good communication means ensuring that everyone in the system can understand and receive messages effectively which eases functioning and cooperation, regardless of how frequent or indirect the communication may be.

For us, systems have unique internal methods of communication that are based on how our brains function, not having any unique features in animals. These methods are very personal, so find what works best for you.

Here are the common styles so far:

Verbal: Where you talk aloud, or in a media like notes.

Abstract vibes: Where you speak no words, which encompasses feelings, or concepts, or ideas, that can be "felt" instead of heard or seen.

Images: Where the share of messages are conveyed through memories, expressive actions or symbols that are projected in the mind.

Direct thoughts: Where an internal dialogue is present, parts communicate using this inner voice, that can vary in different accents and intonations.

The media represents a lot of the stereotypical kind, direct thoughts, while the rest are less recognized. These four kinds are not limited to, but are the ones often represented, they are equally as important and real.

It's important to note that alters within a system can have different communication styles, or the collective may share the same style. You can't force yourself to use a particular kind, so focus on practicing and mastering your style.

..But there's many problems!

Which is why it's a good idea to educate yourself and find proper solutions in order to resolve them. I know some of them at best, as there might be issues i have not heard of, though will still be shared.

Consider a clear communication between two alters with an example of both cups, connected to the string with no obstructive noise at the background while exchanging messages, one conveys the content clearly, and the other hears and received with maximum clarity/understanding. This will be our main example that will be used to compare with the problems that usually arise in this topic.

The problem with multi-talking

Now, to explain interruptions from another part would be like having an extra string-attached cup tied to the middle of the initial cup, now with two inputs and one receiver, the messages will overlap each other and become obscured.

This can be resolved by being aware, then slowing down when talking and take turns between each other to avoid clashes which can easily overwhelm or confuse the receiver, or even the sender itself since losing track of thought or words can happen.

The problem with worser performance from stress

When stress happens, this can sometimes mess up your state to receive messages, imagine that outwards stressors had pulled and tugged your thread, now a bit twisted out and weak, which still can be used to communicate and hear, but now in a weaker clarity.

Because parts communicate mostly from internal ways, our brain networks are responsible to allow when activities inside (that doesn't necessarily involve system things) can happen. Just like how imagination runs in a mind that's wandering off, stress alerts you instead, snapping off from any safe or calm activities until the 'threat' is resolved.

You can gain temporary clarity by calming yourself down and bring all your focus to send your messages if any responds, if it doesn't happen, it would be best to wait it out until you naturally feel at ease once more, or solve the issue at hand and try again afterwards.

This may not work when you are in a fight or flight response, if you do got cutted off and need to contact anyone from inside, try using strong triggers to probe a response.

The problem with ineffective communication

It is like talking to a part who uses a rubber strand instead of cotton string as its mediator. Threads can conduct finer vibrations that can preserve the original verbal message, while rubber can represent for those who use vibes, as they're more broad and less specific. So if they attempt to talk to you with rubber, you might not receive it's message well,

This can be solved with having another part that are flexible or able to decipher, or find the middle ground where both can exchange better. (e.g. texts)

The problem of talking outside your subgroup

This is where it gets tricky, because there is a notable difference in communication where it's easier to converse inside your group while it's harder to converse outside of your group. What i mean by group is they are the people you meet and talk the most and have easy time communicating.

Imagine that the same group has the same length of the thread, the shorter, the better it retains or transfers message with no effort. Talking outside of your group would require you an extra pair of string telephone, but this time the thread is long as you're talking to another neighboring group, who isn't directly related with you.

Suggestions varies from trying different medias to contact with and see what works best, or rely on someone who have direct relations with the group you mean to interact with, acting as a bridge. Lowering barriers by consenting to get closer in co-conscious might do the trick too. Long term solution would be building ties to strengthen communication. (can also work with layers, better if you can 'travel' there to get direct interactions)

The problem with front and innerworld disconnection

It is normal to be out of contact from the inside when you're fronting, since this would mean you put down the cup to focus doing task or role job. To remedy this, try finding a moment to sit down or close your eyes, and feel yourself going back to your mind, since in order to contact those inside, you must lightly disconnect from the real world to focus better inwards.

The problem with having aphantasia

As if you heard the noise from the cup, but you're not sure where that sound is coming from nor aware of your surroundings as this condition blinds you visually (can vary from mild to severe, blurry/vague mental images to blank respectively).

Your innerworld is still there, using visualization is one way to immerse in, start relying on your tactile awareness, or your 'radar' that is, since it is possible to detect parts in your proximity. Rely on tangible medias such as texting or notes to keep track of things.

The problem with external noise

Having a comorbid of something, such as ADHD, autism, or OCD can create a mental chatter that exists in the background constantly.. if not most of the time, imagine that the location of the telephone is somewhere bustling, now it is harder to tell which one is intrusive, random chatters, or an alter's voice.

There is not a lot to say except learning how to separate those noises from your people, it is done best by slowing down and voice your messages wide and clear to create a distinction from such background chatter, making it easier to differentiate.

Other conditions like depression and anxiety can also affect the clarity and ease of communicating.

The problem with distinguishing others

For those with comorbids and aphantasia, this can make it much harder, though still possible! One last problem with communication is sometimes not knowing who is who, which creates obstacles in different ways. Imagine that there are multiple cups lined up to you as the receiver, this creates difficulty on pinpointing whose speaking. Thus, having problems on replying back or made sure if the first sentence relate to the second one, or it belonged to someone else.

The only solution there is, has to be a long term one. As you're suggested to slowly collect and recognize different speech pattern, assigned vibes of other parts, when they usually reply or what topics/mentions brings them up, and different accents or tone if any.

It is not required to 'know' physical attributes or what they look like, but this one will help a ton and usually the easiest way in distinguishing who is who. The solution is to go through a trial and error (arrange all the attributes you like/feel connected to, and see what sticks) and document all the findings somewhere, incase you're forgetful/difficulty memorizing.

Special mentions

It is worth knowing that communication is greatly affected by your state of mind + physical health, the conditions you have, the maturity of the alter in communicating skills, and the style you or the collective dominantly have.

That being said, having the same role, or source, or how old or new an alter is doesn't generally affect the ease of exchanging messages.

Lastly, inner communication also obeys similar rules to how conversation works in real life, this can be taken from examples:

The proximity of the talker you're with affects how much you can understand what is being said. It makes sense that you need to focus harder to hear what the mumbles meant when they're further away from you.

Being with people you can vibe along always results in a better and more effective exchange, as you don't have to explain twice for them to get the message. (mutual understanding)

How loud the environment is also affects how focused/undisturbed you are within a conversation, and it takes effort to separate the background noise to catch what they're saying.

People also have their own ways of expressing their message, some are more dominant in body language or etc. This is why it is important to recognize and understand what it means. You will always have your own dominant way of socializing, but this doesn't mean you can't learn other ways, partially.

Now comprehending the concept of system communication does become easier, right? This should serve as a good framework to start building and understanding connections.

One last phone call

I hope everything i have said here has been loud and clear, if there is a problem that has not been mentioned that needs fixing, give this string telephone a tug and i'd answer your call alright?

May this post address all the things you need more than a hotline help centre and leave with full satisfaction.

If you please, i will now indulge in the whole history of telephone strings, join me if you wish! Did you know it's originally made of tin can instead of a plastic cup?

-- The next post that will be out: all about introjection. Stay tuned!

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #jeducates

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mr-payjay · 6 months

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Cornered!

#osc #juice art #inanimate insanity #bot ii #bot inanimate insanity #bow ii #bow inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity fanart #bot ii fanart #bow ii fanart #ii bot #ii bow #praying the fish eye effect works right #a lot of my friends liked this which is a good sign :)#ive become very fond of bot recently #talking about the ontological horror of their existence nonfuckingstop and creating a personality for them purely based on headcanon #is really fun #i thought of naming this Ghosts of The Past #or Nowhere To Hide #but i decided Cornered! fit the vibe i was going for best #the lighting is kinda like bows opening a closet they're hiding in like a victim in a slasher movie its very focused on bot #oh and its in hotel oj because i think hotel oj would be a nightmare for them #everyone is subtly horrified by their existence but trying to appear polite anyway #but bot can Feel they want them gone

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kennyomegasweave · 3 months

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Listen! Tharn has horrific trust issues and doesn't trust anyone, not just Phaya okay!

Like he clearly doesn't even trust Yai and the Abbot because of his issues! Because yes he knows Yai, basically his brother, believes Phaya would rather die than hurt Tharn so much he flat out told Phaya he can't die cause he already gave him Tharn to protect. And yes he knows the Abbot, who raised him, has continuously told him he needs to fully trust Phaya will take care of him. But he has trust issues okay! Those just don't go away! He can't just trust Phaya okay!

Though he does trust Chalothon and thinks he's a good guy. Even when he knew about Phaya's dreams that only Tharn knew about and basically accused Phaya of losing his mind, clinically, in front of everyone at their work at a crime scene. But it obviously makes complete sense he trusts him implicitly and never questions anything cause he's known him his whole life! That's not something you can just throw aside for some boyfriend, soulmate or not, you know!

But then, wait...why doesn't he trust Yai and the Abbot the same?

But I'm glad he knows Chalothon is the problem now. Sucks for him about everything because of it. Hope it works out for him in the one remaining episode. Don't really care either way anymore regardless.

#the sign #the sign the series #the writing hasn't been good for awhile #the story hasn't been cohesive for almost as long #the romance has not been portrayed well at all #besides to tell us they're fated soulmates that spent one past life together #(I know the book mentions other lives but as I've said beore the book is not the show #and if you have to fill in holes and backstory with the book that means the show is a piss poor adaption sooo #we're back to it's bad writing)#this show is surviving on the strength of the chemistry of Billy and Babe #and the skill of all the supporting characters nailing their roles #which is fine I've watched a lot of bad but entertaining shit in my day #truthfully I like that most #but I feel like I'm taking crazy pills the way this show is being praised as perfect #because ummm #this is only friends all over for me so maybe I just don't get shit IDK lol #regular clyde

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jedi-bird · 29 days

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Tried to go outside and do some more yard work this morning. Managed to get the native Douglas yellow iris and the hollyhocks planted before it started raining. I've now abandoned the yard in favor of laundry and hot tea and dreams of going to ikea to drool over couches.

#adventures in gardening #it looks like it rained a lot last night which is good for the plants #the new herbs survived nicely #i was concerned that whatever keeps pooping in my citrus beds would dig them up #i have about 10 pounds of ginger that i grew that i need to process and freeze and I'm putting it off #i also wish that i had friends who lived by me that were into gardening so i could foist some plants onto #there are so many succulent cuttings that they're taking over #the temptation to set up a plants for sale sign is quite high

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wolfriver777 · 7 months

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Soooooo, I binged tgcf book 4 today so here are a few words along with some crappy photos of the words sgshhssh

gonna put it under a read more since it got long, exoect typos and autocorrect being evil

Okay first off screaming and crying about all the stuff that happened with shi qingxuan and what I suppose is the infamous black water arc I've heard a lot about. Now as a vulnerable young chap on the internet my ass has been almost getting spoiled for tgcf everywhere so I had a inkling someone was gonna die, probably shi qingxuan or shi wudu but omfg like actually reading it? The shock, the horror? I was breathless, I was stunned! Avert your eyes if you haven't read already cause omg!!!

Just omg!!! The way that he xuan has been the earth master for years and shi qingxuan would've formed this connection and just omg the trust, the betrayal, the death?!?! Screaming and throwing up!!!

I feel we also gotta back track a lol, shout out to hua cheng for telling pei ming to kill himself, what an absolute legend, but also pei ming building 4 coffins but for all of that effort to be wasted??? Lmaooooo!!! Omfg speaking of coffins lmaooo shsjsjsjsj the whole fucking squished together in a coffin and xie lian getting a hard on like come oooooon brooooooo please, mxtx why bitches getting dicks hard in coffins I'm crying!!

Okay also since we circled back around a bit, ofc we gotta talk about the fucking hualian smooching for spiritual power like taking it back and shjt omg and qi rong's reaction, speaking of that little bitch I know I didn't really make any posts about book 2, but omg hate that lil bitch but he's also a lil funny now,

But damn you know that hulian smooching is apart of his villain arc.

Okay we also gotta talk about the whole scene that was on the front cover and how they fucking smooched all night long but when hua vheng asks about it when his mind clears, xie lian just says they fought. LIKE BRO PLEASS! yall smooched all night long I'm crying I've here ToT! Ugh and the whole ish set up for a new ghost king (ref to qi rong villain arc being amped by hulian make out sessions, but also kinda doubt he can actually be a ghost king) that's gonna be fucking fun!

OKAY BUT THE STUFF WITH LING WEN OMG, it mightve been cause I was just reading that but omg ughhh hddhshhssb I can't believe, and the fact she was doing busy work in the communication array while xie lian was busy doing hot girl shit, speaking of hot girl shit, this fucking line

Like I know he says it to distract the cultivators but omg I still went feral and insane, so good. Ughhhhh gonna try slow myself down (unlikely) will probably start book 5 tomorrow before work. God knows my coworkers will notice my insanity.

#ri reads tgcf #book 4 #i know i missed a lot like the strip tease show and all the in between bits with he xuan shi qingxuan and shi wudu but god hddhshshhs #i think i covered most of the climax and bits that amused me #might be about to accidentally over take my friend who introduced me to mxtxs novel's since were both reading tgcf #granted outside of work which is only a couple days a week i havd nothing going on in my life #(this is your sign to talk to me good ppl i will respond)#(side note if anyone wants to send posts of art of feng xin i would love you forever; im talking like non spoilery cool pose/portrait art)#i love him sm #i love when like xis lian pops up the heavens he stumbles on the scene where yk mu qing snd geng xin have just finished a fight and yk #property damage but doesnt sed either but later when hes at a meeting he notes how feng xin has a black eye #and how mu qing is also roughed up #just ughhhh love that #okay ill stop fr

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katya-goncharov · 11 months

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ugh i got scheduled for a ridiculous amount of overtime shifts at work AGAIN and now i'm going to have to pluck up the courage to talk to my manager about it

#TEN extra hours i got sceduled in for this time when i'm only supposed to do 17 a week!#and they didn't even ask me #and maybe it doesn't seem like a lot but i have a university degree i have to study for at the same time which is quite a lot of work #and also the whole neurodivergent thing. i just genuinely do find it difficult to handle a lot of hours and weird shifts #and honestly it's rude not even to ask me if i'm available that week! i mean it's the weekend i was planning to maybe go visit my friend #but ugh i hate having to ask for stuff and i'm going to try to find a really really polite way to talk to my manager about it #but i feel too timid and i don't want people to dislike me. ugh this is just such an uncomfortable stressful position to be in #and my mental health has been spiralling in a way it hasn't since covid just from stressing about it all which. DEFINITELY not a good sign #emma vents

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horrorwebs · 2 years

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fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is

#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were #messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment #i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an #excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol)#she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say'#understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our #relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1)#anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i #didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things +#told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know)#my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good #and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good??#but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling #i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her #badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well #which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this.#ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD #THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND #HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!!#and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an #we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i #want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh #its exhausting liking someone huh #loveposting #spikeposting #if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?

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galacticlamps · 2 years

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Me: going about my day, driving down the road

My brain, totally unprompted: how messed up is it that Jamie’s turning 300 in two years and we don’t even know what day that’ll be on?

#jamie mccrimmon #seriously does anybody have any good birthday hc's?#all we know is the year & sometime before mid April #but the only thing i could think of with a legit reason behind it is january 7 since that was when the last episode of the highlanders aired #which makes it the date he became a companion out of universe even if it has no significance in-universe #(and it's also the only part of his first serial that aired earlier in the year than april)#but i also dont love that date for him for a couple reasons #for one im already a capricorn myself so it feels biased to pick one so close to my own #(plus i think winter birthdays like that kinda suck imo)#but more importantly jan 7 is too soon after new years to avoid a discrepancy about what year it was #given the two calendars thing going on in his time #(which yeah i guess might be kinda on-brand for him considering how often the show messes up years for his character - but still)#/I/ know & it would annoy /ME/#maybe i should ask one of my astrology friends for a date that'd make sense #tho I'd have to ask a lot of info to come up w something bc they dont know jamie and i dont know astrology #i only said capricorn to avoid giving out my specific birthday on a borderline shitpost #zodiac signs r definitely not something i know anything about tho #oh well i guess i'll just have to observe his 300th for four months straight #as if im not already bound to be thinking of him on any given day of any month lol

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spiked-pie · 1 year

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Tryna find reasons to stay on twitter, a Website where I barely posted and didn't even have followers (I failed)

#nobody follows me here either but at least I like this shade of blue a lot better #how does this place work #do tags do anything?#should I make my own tags?#like for consistency?#maybe #spikedpiephoto #?#I took these pictures with my pentax k-70 #they're of my best friend #he's very patient and a lifeguard #we drove across Washington when sonic frontiers came out to play with another good friend of mine and stopped here on the way back #oh maybe I should say something about myself #like introduce myself or something #hi #I'm Pierson but online i like the name spike which is based on my asl sign name and is the name I've given to a robot-persona of myself #I like to make garabage cartoons and animations #I used to have a fohawk but that was 10 years ago I also had a bowl cut but that was 20 years ago #still got that energy tho maybe prolly not but you don't care why you asking weird questions #I'm totally using tags wrong #like and subscribe and/or go die in a peaceful hole

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jrueships · 2 years

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anything abt cancers 👉🏾👈🏾

for some reasons, i always attract cancers?? which is weird to me cus when i was young n in a relationship with a cancer, we checked our compability for fun n the results made her break up with me LMAO it's actually hilarious to me! I LOVE cancers, i think they're interesting smart empathetic, i feel bad for em when they get made fun of (zion), they're a type of funny that keeps you listening! But there just always seems to be something that happens that just? Breaks our bond. It's crazy. My mom was a cancer n she tried drowning me when i was a baby but i still feel bad for her cus she was messed up n kept stayin with my dad so? It's a pretty good representation of all my relationships with cancers!

When cancers think you're funny, you'll know. They really KNOW how to give people the appreciation they deserve, even the most seemingly 'boring' of people. Hence their high compabilities with tauruses. (Kevin h*rt, cancer, and rock, taurus is a prime example of a cancer taurus dynamic working. Cancer can stroke a taurus' ego but keep them entertained at the same time by being clever & compassionate. While the taurus will give a cancer the undying loyalty & protection they deserve while showing them the greatest 'treat yourselfs' a taurus can conjure. Empathy & luxury, sensitivity & strength!!!) I'm lowkey jealous of their relationship! Because I WANT That with a cancer cus i LOVE cancers n seeing a taurus have that with them while i can't makes me hate tauruses. But you shouldn't because they can be super lovely too! It's easy to box them into boring but really, they're just comfortable! N want to stay comfortable! A cancer can keep them comfortable WHILE caring AND entertaining! It's very interesting to witness! If you are a cancer, seek out a taurus buddy!

N I THINK CANCERS ARE ATTRACTED TO ME CUS THEY THINK IM AN ARIES???? that could be an explanation... idk, like! I can spend some time with cancers n it's coo! But then somethin happens that requires dual sensitivity or more brashness n we can't click. You have us in a short conversation n we're GREAT though. A cancer will pay attention, hear, and laugh at all the quiet jokes you say under the louder speakers of the group. They're SO attentive that way, i LOVE it. I've had some of the funniest, comfortable conversations with them. Like lesbian he him bowser from Mario, we both agree about him n support him, king.

THEN a situation happens where i need to be more empathetic n they don't get why im not. Like in 4th grade the whole class took an honors math like skills test? N the teacher would call them up to her desk and tell them their scores. My cancer friend got a really good score n i cheered. You could overhear the scores because the teacher's desk was literally in the same room as the students. Just right next to their desks n she announced them super loud. N then i got called up n she basically told me i BARELY passed just BARELY. She didn't say it relieved but like. Concerned? Really disappointed n i still carry that with me cus i always remember when people yell at me or feel disappointed in me. N IT'S NOT LIKE parent tells you they're disappointed in you for playing ds past your bedtime, it's somehow more stupid like my piano teacher spending the whole session ripping on me over making a mistake in a classical practice piece with my older brother in the room. Idk, i hate feeling like i let people down IN FRONT of other people, pride thing. I try not to let it get to me as much n act rash as a reaction but it always will n ill always be struggling to work on it. But basically i did the worst in the class (it was an HONORS math class so everyone else was like einstein), and went back to my seat still smiling trying to be positive. I was like 'man who's next? I passed' n my cancer friend said 'no you didn't. You barely even passed.' All serious staring at me. N in front of everybody

N i don't cry genuinely cant, 'taught' not to by my dad. But that did hurt me cause it hurt my pride. But cus i don't cry, i got angry. Never talked to him again, just ghosted him out my life. Which sucks cus i still think about our old conversations, he was the funniest kid in baby school to me! And nicest too, once i lost something really important to me in the snow, n he went out to help me find it. We walked like 5 miles back for it to find it. Cancers are great, but we just can't remain right with each other.

I think he thought i was trying to hide my math test result from him n that hurt his trust? It sounds dramatic but we were kids so dramatic is probably the right answer lmao. We were both dramatic! Those 3 cancers weren't the only cancers ive met, but they've affected how i change myself with other cancers now. Kinda keep it distance, keep it to small fun talks but never actually hang out over the summer kinda fun. Cus i don't want our happy friendship ruined by something stupid coming along, which is easy to happen with two people that think they gel more than they actually do

#btw im no longer in the smart math classes anymore LMAO #but yea i rlly do love cancers tho they hold a softspot in my heart #idk if this speaks for all of em but from the ones i met theyre super skilled in STEM #most of my cancers had a lot of knowledge in medicine but not all of them pursued it #but they could tell me they studied 0 mins secs hours for the biggest biology test ever cus they were distracted by their fav celebrity #then pass the biology exam with flying colors #theyre like mad smart and easily get discounted for it sometimes for being 'the goofy one' of their group #but yea they hold a special love for their family n signs that are like that are loved by me!#caps taurus sag aries cancer !#i might not vibe with all of em well but i appreciate them a lot n wish i did #n im not stopped by the signs but it's like everytime ive tried to make shit work it just got worse #n eventually i got tired of shit getting worse so i just learned to be cautious #but yea we can be total friends over media tho! thats usually how i communicate best with them #i guess cus it gives me more time to rethink my responses b4 i say em? so yea i still keep good ties with some of my old cancer friends!#which im glad 4 because losing one sucks majorly #ted tumbunity things

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