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beesmygod · 1 year

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I'm glad you watched another playthrough of the devil in me bc sgfs run made it look so bad I wondered if he had missed some absolutely crucial game choice but no I guess it really is just like that

the shit makes no sense. im going to "spoil" it rn but like. you can't spoil this game. theres no twist theres just a fucked up guy who walks at you. the killer was killerman. you win prize money.

like lets do a quick list of what was good ("good") and what wasnt. most of these are just going to be moments or isolated plot elements

THE BAD:

it wasnt as accidentally funny as their previous games. accidentally funny i mean.

it had the audacity to end with someone picking up the h.h. holmes mask (not a thing that exists btw. no one is making these except like custom on etsy. its so fucking suspicious) like "oooh hes going to do it agaiiiin!" but he got chopped up by a boat propeller. no he isnt

the areas and parts where certain players were "supposed" to die were REALLY telegraphed and detrimental to the pacing of an already artificially bloated plot

why was there a dog that hated the murderer living on the island waiting to bite the shit out of him. whose dog was that. why was there dog. cheap emotional fodder tossed in at the end.

the opening kill is legitimately unpleasant to watch. they forgot that the kills are supposed to be gruesome and not stomach churningly sadistic or remind me of holocaust movies

the characters are genuinely awful and boring people who hate each other. not a single lifeline to be had. even the dog shows up too late for you to establish any kind of friendship

the reason why no one has cell phones is because a guy who is tricking them into taking his place as the murder victims just takes them as part of the "experience". they're a fucking film crew lol. theres no way

i legit thought it was going to end up being a team of people bc he was somehow everywhere at once doing the slow jason walk

instead it's one man, an ex-FBI agent who was abused by his mom and gets talked into doing serial murder by the single lamest serial killer monologue ive ever heard in my life. its just a guy who decided to try something different one day. and then i guess he built a murder hotel after faking his death so he could do more murder. this sucks. i dont care about this.

the plot elements are completely random. the animatronics made out of PEOPLE (they apparently did not get the news that they were beat to this idea by a solid near decade) have nothing to do with anything at all. not h.h. holmes, not murder hotel. they're just there for no reason. they barely even get used.

and they had the audacity to show him MAKING animatronics OF THE 5 FILM CREW MEMBERS after they arrived on the island. this game takes place over the course of one day. he did not do this. there is no way. this game stretches the player's suspension of disbelief too far.

the writing on the mom and the serial killer is pathetic lol. its rough to see evil attempted by people who can only conceptualize it in terms of physical violence

oh great another taxidermy guy. thanks

it was just some guy

THE "GOOD"

the ending is so bad that its ballsy. it cuts to a news reporter talking about how they are still finding bodies in the hotel where 5 person groups were tricked into staying so that they could be murdered. the ppl watching the report are interrupted by their friend who tells them her viral video won a contest (dog its 2022 lol) and the prize is that 5 of them get to stay in a mysterious hotel owned by a man with the same name as the guy they were just talking about.

then it zooms into the email the girl got telling her that she won and that one image of h.h. holmes is just in the window

did he make the little graphic announcing she has won? did he deliberately include himself? did he not notice somehow that he was in the picture. did he set up a timer and run up to the top floor so he could be very spooky and mysterious

HOW could he POSSIBLY afford another murder house. the invoice for the first one on the private island is IN THE GAME and its an eye popping amount. he does NOT have another house like where is he getting the money? or getting it zoned? or tricking ANOTHER construction team into building death traps that are suspiciously like the ones on the news

theres a part where a woman is stuck in a closet having an anxiety/asthma attack and the scary murder man gives her her inhaler. for some reason. this is never explained

why did he have ultra specific recordings of his mom commenting on what time he arrives and what page of his baby book he looks at. or what time it is.

theres phonographs and creepy music playing everywhere and no one turns them off like "what the fuck!!!" they're just like ooooh no im being menaced SSOOOO much

why was one of the crew members friends with someone who was strangled by "the campus strangler". as far as i can tell this adds nothing to the story, it just freaks her. as the player i dont care bc the the killerman just finds this out somehow and finds a copy of the paper where they used a photo taken of her, her friend and the strangler. guess which one is the strangler:

how could they identify his fake dead body from "dental records". they explicit say this. did he fucking glue a set of teeth into the guys mouth. is he toothless throughout the whole game. is he wearing fake teeth. im laughing just typing this up. what the fuck

he pulled an hh holmes on the construction crew after they built a hh holmes themed murder hotel for him.

the murder counter. why does it exist. how does it know to update.

im now thinking about how funny it is that he put in a 4th digit. get real dude! no WAY

the director being baited into an obvious trap with cigarettes like he was being hunted by wiley e. coyote was insane. my dude you are being murdered. you know you are at this point. why did you go into the room with only one entrance!!

this:

it was just some guy

#long post

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nervousron · 1 year

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Chronological Lazlow Jones quotes and facts from Vice City, up to GTAV

22 year old radio intern Lazlow covers his eyes and hides in the corner when ladies enter the recording booth without their shirts

“Im 100% rebel. I got kicked out of school after the 12th grade, man” (for non-american readers, this would be university)

“Dont sell out. I never will”

“I am the master of darkness - that’s why my name’s Lazlow”

“Remember, Im going to be famous one day.”

Lazlow’s V-Rock Radio job application was sent in hand written calligraphy with a bouquet of flowers

Lazlow was in high school band

“I flunked school cuz im parkour”

He is pro gun and conservative

“How is that fair? I mean Im white, middle-class, very erudite -um, yknow, whatever that means- but people just respond badly to me, i don't understand it”

“-and you keep saying ‘im from the streets’, Yknow what dude? Everyone has a street in front of their house, that doesn't make you cool”

“Its kinda been a dream of mine to sleep with housewives…”

“I love your strap, you’re a great guy!”

Lazlow was tricked into joining the military briefly

Lazlow’s mom sent him to inversion and conversion therapy

“This is the west coast. I’m only into lesbians, man”

Lazlow breaking into tears when a caller continuously encourages Lazlow to shave his bush so his dick looks bigger

“Hanging upside down to sleep doesnt make you cool, or alternative. I know because I tried it”

A guy called in saying he moved from Hampshire and Lazlow told him his english was good and asked if it was hard getting used to the language

As of gta III Lazlow is married. As of IV he is divorced, balding, and has a mustache. His wife left him for his best friend after he brought home a heavily drugged woman for a threeway.

He used to look at his best friends dick when he was sleeping.

(About the Brittish)“I think they were speaking English before we were. I mean, the people here were speaking Cherokee and Shoshone.”

Lazlow gets upset when a man implies spanking kids is okay. He gets even more upset when he realizes the man doesn’t have kids and just wants to be spanked

“My father was strangely silent my whole childhood, which y’know, explains a lot”

“So you would MILK your grandmother like some kind of TEAR COW?”

Lazlow pushed a hotdog salesman’s head into a pot of boiled hot dog water and tried to drown him. This was a very cathartic experience for him.

“You stick your hand down a stripper's panties, yknow, and you discover a pair of balls. Well guess what baby? The bitch is back. But im not a bitch, Im a man. Uhh-”

Lazlow was regularly caught kissing men backstage at concerts in the 80s

Lazlow mentions its easier to spike women’s drinks with GHB in Liberty City than Vice City

“Go play sudoku and die peeing on yourself”

“You’re not my type. I prefer unconscious chicks or milfs with stretch marks”

Lazlow has tried blogging, being in porn, vinewood, working glory holes, and taking "facefulls of pills" to be happy.

“dude. Can you really not rub your junk and talk about schools. Dude. dude.”

“And you just wish that ONCE you could share a bed with someone who wouldnt get creeped out by the pictures of my ex wife on the nightstand”

“You can catch an STD! From a Him/Her!”

Lazlow bites strangers when he’s mad

“Im a RAGING heterosexual”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Y’know, I’ve worn some panties. Its not weird if a chick asks you to do it. Then its hot”

He begs strangers on the street to watch him windmill his dick online.

“This mustache once got me laid. Yeah, Yeah.”

“Isnt there one where theres a cup and two girls…”

He accosts Fred Armisen in the street. Fred is somehow much worse than Lazlow.

“DUR DUR DUR text message. EL OH EL”

“You’ll NEVER get to experience the 80s”

“For once, Lazlow is not getting bummed. I’M doing the bumming”

in Episodes From Liberty City, Lazlow’s mother and step-father pay for his radio show and he lives in their home. He hates his step-dad and new step-sisters

“Im the g-spot of radio”

“I’m here to stay. Like the national debt. or syphilis.”

Lazlow’s brother is a tv producer

Lazlow promised $2 to a man to follow him down the street with a saxophone to set atmosphere for his radio show

“I’ve really gotta spread my scent right now. And by that, I mean pee”

Lazlow’s step-dad is a mortician

Lazlow is pro choice, but only because he doesnt want to be a hypocrite

Lazlow’s sister was supposedly kidnapped. He claims he did not personally murder her.

��Nicaragua. Which is a company that sells nicotine… water”

“Do have a second for gay rights?” “Okay, a second. Sometimes five minutes if I’m drunk and nobody’s looking”

Lazlow makes his intern follow him with a camera and pretend to be paparazzi. It backfires.

Lazlow got hairplugs some time between IV and V

Lazlow invented podcasting

“It’s not molesting if they’re ugly. Trust me, i’ve been doing it for years”

“Molesting is when they’re human and cant complain, or dont like peanut butter on their junk. Those sheep wouldnt have complained if they COULD have. They were loving it!”

Lazlow’s intern tells everyone at the gay bar that Laz wants to get railed by three guys. Lazlow, not understanding spanish, is very excited by the attention.

Lazlow knows space facts off the top of his head

Lazlow Wants to cum in zero G

He has a grandma fetish

Lazlow talks about his experience of getting pissed on by groups of strange men

Lazlow is "Left wing", but only because he doesnt want to be fired

Through tears “I dont understand valleys or clouds, it sounds like a nursery rhyme”

Lazlow told the press Michael "molested (him) into cutting his hair"

Lazlow got roofied at his Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting

Through tears “Tony? Can we hug? Please? You shouted at me a lot… And Tony? I dont think you can say ‘Gay Tony’ anymore, it’s not PC, the internet will go crazy”

Lazlow spins records at kids birthdays

“He wants me to beatbox, i’m gonna fuckin get LAAIIDDD”

“One more scandal will ruin me. I’m WOKE now”

#lazlow jones #grand theft auto #gtav facts #im working on replies i promise #but i listened to all his dialogue at work today so. lazlow time

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aplpaca · 10 months

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Hey hi howdy hi if you have like a list of queer fantasy books you liked would it be alright if you shared them? i’m so low on spoons but would love to read some happy stuff if you’ve got any recs, all good if not! was just curious!

OK so I've got a couple things, but depending on what you mean by "happy", some might count and some might not, so I'm gonna group them by like "Happy/Feelgood" for the really sweet stuff vs "I wouldn't say they're "Feelgood' kind of warm-fuzzy, or at least they aren't entirely that, but they're def Hopeful at their core". (i tend to lean more towards things that have Angst even if the core is hopeful. i could list a lot more in the Mixed But Hopeful section, but i tried to stick to ones that felt more 'energetic' in tone, if that makes sense)

Feelgood

House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune. Lonely man gets assigned to assess the "safety" of a boarding house for kids with supernatural powers and learns to enjoy life along the way.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. Trans latino boy performs a magic ritual to prove himself to his family and ends up having to help a ghost move to the afterlife. This one is YA, so might not be your thing but I thought it was really cute and fun. Does include some elements of transphobia, but the overall tone of the story is cute and heartfelt, and the transphobia bits are resolved positively. Lots of emphasis on self acceptance and family.

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree. Orc woman retires from fighting and opens a coffeeshop. This one didn't particularly do it for me, but I know a lot of people like it so you might also.

Hopeful at their Core

Witchmark by CL Polk. Mage who works as a doctor meets a mysterious man and ends up investigating a murder while trying to help his patients suffering from a mysterious illness. Deals with abusive family backgrounds but is overall pretty lighthearted/energetic.

Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell. Arranged marriage in an intergalactic empire gets complicated when half of the pair's previous relationships and potential criminal activity come to light. Feels pretty fanfic-y (i say as someone who doesnt really read fanfic, so take with a grain of salt) in a fun way. Deals with past relationship abuse, but isnt graphic and is overall pretty lighthearted and fun

The Last Sun by KD Edwards. Disgraced Atlantean noble and his life companion/best friend/bodyguard get hired to search for a missing person, only to get entangled with a legendary monster connected to the fall of said noble's court 15 years prior. YMMV with this one cause it deals with a lot of heavy stuff like abuse and sexual assault and gets pretty dark at points, but at the same time the series is really funny, the banter is so good, and it has some of the best and most fun found family dynamics going on in like anything I've read or watched. Like those 2012 avengers fanfics where all the characters live in the same house and do shenanigans except its actually canon and also they can say the fuck word.

True Love Bites by Joy Demorra. Disabled werewolf captain takes a job on an island and grows close to a vampire nobleman. Things get complicated when a mysterious woman shows up with news that the world's magical wells are dying. There's an explicit version and a fade to black version depending on which youd prefer. Explicit version has a red cover and the fade to black has a blue cover (I personally read the blue cover version). I want to gnaw on the characters (esp vlad) like a dog with a cocaine chew toy

#books #book rec #sorry this took like all day to answer i was at work and then i was getting groceries and formatting is easier on desktop than mobile

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yusuke-of-valla · 2 months

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the thing you said about how youre sure developers viewing their audience with contempt isnt the majority is also something i want to say to a lot of people who watch tv shows. no, not every writer is steven moffat. stop acting like every tv show writer hates you, specifically :')

You know how "dog bites man" is nothing but "man bites dog" is news?

That's how stuff like this works, being able to point to 1-2 high profile cases does not mean anything, especially since like. News places are incentivized to piss you off

If someone is telling you the creators of a work hate you, personally, it's like. Not that likely.

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subjectsix · 7 months

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kip fic check in

okay hi its been awhile. lets look at the wip folder.

sleeping dogs

"...and Bite the Hand That Feeds": outlined, about 1/2 finished, probably going to be ~3,500 words, the next thing i want to post

deus ex: mankind divided

"Crux of the Matter": new fic, probably going to be the first finished, just outlined

"It'll Chew You Up and Spit You Out": almost finished! hopefully will be posted after crux and sleepy dogs

"Complete Control (That's a Laugh)": a vaclav wip, will pepper it in there somewhere

"Ball of Confusion": another vaclav wip. i will pepper it in too

"Aug's Best Friend": jensen gets a dog :)

"Honor Among Thieves": an alternate idea, of otar personally going to confront vaclav and making a new deal with him. it isnt going well for vaclav.

control

there's a lot of control wips actually but the one I would like to focus on is

"See a Man About a Dog": It is outlined and started, but I might redo it and start fresh. dylan leaves and tells no one, returning to maine, and looking for an old friend.

detroit become human

there's a few loose ralph fics that I'd like to fix up and throw into the world again

yakuza: like a dragon

"Ichiban: Space Cowboy" in which the gang is compared to Cowboy Bebop and they spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out who would be who

shadowrun

A LOT OF THEM the closest to being done are "Two-Wheel Tour" (hong kong) and some Dragonfall fics revolving around Hide, Monika, and APEX

skyrim

not super close to being finished but I had a thing about my OC bouncing around that I might go back to

dark souls I

a continuation of the story I was telling with solaire, laurentius, griggs, and my chosen undead alnoth

dishonored

A fully formed idea and outlined that I just need to write: "The Depths That Call; Dive, or Drown"

across the spider-verse

only outlined, not named: missing scene between Gwen's dad and Hobie Brown

terminator

my unfinished fic-in-a-tent fic that is super self indulgent about teen kyle, and star, and john connor and kate, and my favorite character from the novelizations named justo

#ougha.#kips writing #also never be afraid to ask me about my writing btw it helps me get it done KEJSHFKJSEHF i will send you snippets i will talk about it #i will be SO annoying #you will not annoy me ask me about my writing i'll probably cry (happy)

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winderlylandchime · 6 months

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Hello! Hope you are doing well. My brother has officially introduced Brian the cat to his therapist today. I walked into the living room to find him sitting in front of the computer holding the cat up close go the camera and then, i guess his therapist logged on or something and he was waiting for him because out of nowhere all i heard was a deep sigh and ‘so it’s gonna be one of those type of sessions again, huh? *long pause while my brother continues to hold the cat to the camera* hey, (brother’s name) whatcha got there?’ And then my brother went ‘(his therapist name) meet Brian! He is my new best friend. Since the real deal isn’t available to me, i had to improvise.’ And then i guess his therapist started writing something down because my brother suddenly went ‘hey, nothing i said or did should make you write for this long, man.’ I did leave the room after that but the last thing I heard before i left was the therapist saying ‘be honest, did you steal the cat like the last time?’ And I obviously had a reaction to it and my brother screamed at me ‘IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! They all look the same so i took the wrong one home *and then he turned to his computer and went* and for the record it was a DOG not a cat. And dont be silly, Brian came to moi by choice’ I asked our mom and turns out he accidentally took the wrong dog home from the groomers and she did confirm the dogs were the same breed and even had the same type of white patch on their fur. However she thinks he should’ve realized something is up when the dog was shy and terrified of him.

Also the cat has officially gotten nicknames, the obvious one is Bri Bri, Bri the Cat, Bri/an the second, Brian Kinney Taylor (that one lasted a day), Bri the mad cat (after 2x01 and its only used when Brian bites him), Mr Bri the second and Brian-Baby-Sweetie-Kinney. He very briefly tried calling it Brian Justin Honeycutt Kinney but it didn’t last because he felt like the cat hated having two names and a last name.

He also has managed to piss off our mom because he’s been rewatching old episodes this week and he’s been sending her long voice memos of complaints about it (mind you he did that already so she’s having a deja vu moment) and my mom tried to bribe him to stop and be normal for at least a day. Which immediately flew out the window because he asked her if she loved him if he was like Brian. She started to ignore him so he instead started to annoy our dad. It started very simple with “normal” questions such as: ‘if i had cancer would you still love me?’ (The answer was ‘what the fuck type of question is that?’) ‘if i was gay and in love with myself would you still love me?’ (The answer to that was ‘(his name) I’m in a meeting right now if this is your way of coming out can you wait 10 minutes?’) then my all time favorite question ‘if I randomly got a buzzcut would you realize that something is wrong or would you just let me go?’ (Answer to that was ‘send me a picture of yourself right now!’) and the last but not least ‘would you help me take down a dirty politician and a violinist?’ (And the answer to that was ‘fucking hell, this is about that show isnt it?!’)

So the three main people who judge his mental state (only one professionally) for sure have to be a bit concerned.

Hello dear sweet anon! I’m sorry about taking so long to respond to your messages from yesterday. I got my covid booster and by the time I was done with work for the day, I felt like I got hit by a truck. Far far better than getting covid but the vaccine always takes me out for a day or two.

Your brother’s therapist has lost all patience for him. But also - your brother stole a dog!?! By accident, but still!

The whole point of a pet’s name is to generate nicknames. My pets only get called by their full names when they are in trouble.

“I’m in a meeting right now if this is your way of coming out can you wait 10 minutes” I AM DYING. Your poor mom and dad are really going for a ride here.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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bhaaliestspawn · 1 year

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That's the 4th night in a row where we got woken up by the animalistic screams coming from his bedroom one would thing the bananas weren't slimy enough but it's all flat pepsi's fault at this point even the gardener knows not to touch the spoons anymore and he only comes on the 22nd of every month but apparently this year we were supposed to get more of those multicoloured lights imagine my surprise when no one was ready and the Berlin police got a shock of their life when the peanuts got delayed once again it was kind of my fault this time but I'm no painting expert and I'm not about to drive on 3 wheels only especially when the oven would only pre-heat at 120 like wtf are we supposed to do with that the tall one got a new bicycle for a reason no one wants to deal with the penguins anymore anyway next week the hot air balloon is all we need the red top around the nipple can only give off so many premonitions before the rest of the shelf gets full and the doctors thought it wasn't gonna be itchy... the measurements weren't even right! the entire thing looks like a situation for a self defence so he ended up behind the cactus wall very tight and everyone was worries we only had one tube of toothpaste left and the phone signal was weak but I promise you the red halo will be leashed like those sausages he made that one time god that was a memorable idea but idea only because no one was brave enough to repeat the pool incident I still have glitter behind my eyeball and the pants wont zip all the way up I can only sit on the roof and watch as they shave the frogs once again hopefully tomorrow we'll get those cinnamon ketchup milkshakes

he didnt like the cheesecake btw well as if its my fault that it didnt taste like dry wall i should have burned it to crisp and make it nasty so he could slorp it like a piece of old green moldy wall and snort it up his left hairy nostril . if man's hole is a-leakin yet he criticises your desserts it is time to rethink it and this culinary nonsense isnt for me anyway im just not good at this we should have stayed in the woods picking roots and berries and eating insects for protein and i dont know any other recipes anyway. in the very woods where we buried the body of the hole denier but then he wanted to go to the strip club and we had to drive two hundred kilometres so he could do some pole dancing well who am i to say no. but now im googling recipes again that i will never try because it makes me self conchis not to be excellent at them and anyway the smell of fresh brownies might be nice but it doesn't beat the smell of sweaty hair post-show pits so why even bother. and the dog just keeps on watching us and its really unnerving and getting really weird i think maybe the strip club wasnt a good idea but the cafe didnt have any pole dancing options and i thought if i leave the cake for five minutes more it would be fine but it wasnt fine it never is fine. my intentions were good but sometimes it's not enough. oh well at least i tied a pink bow in his ass hair. a pretty bow for a pretty girl. it looked great but did you know there are fourteen different basic types of a cheesed cake what do i care for all these types when i can bite into an old wrinkly man runny inside like variety of melted cheeses. still, when you deny the call of the hole you die and sometimes it is because of the murder and killings and sometimes it is because you lead a sad life to deny such things but what is even sadder is using american baking measurements this is literally driving me insane can you PLEASE explain it like a normal person and not like an american we're all living in amerika etc. at the end of the day i think i shouldnt have let the old man off his leash it only causes trouble let this be a warning to you

#ask #hello

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missmeinyourbones · 2 years

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what icks do you think the aot boys are guilty of having lol

aot boys x icks! (part 2) (jjk version)

now THIS is content i can get behind

eren:

is the type of guy to think that just letting the water hit him in the shower is washing his body... like you're showering together and ur scrubbing ur legs w body wash or something and he's like wait... you wash your legs? like you don't just let the water and soap hit them? WHAT

tries to start a podcast and thinks hes making really profound points but its the most basic and bare minimum conclusions like "working out actually improves your mental health"

his hair gets greasy really easily but he doesnt like to wash it every day bc it dries it out. you recommend dry shampoo and he REFUSES because it “makes his hair look gray” and ur like no not if you apply it like this and rub it in!!!! he doesnt listen

accidentally airs ur dirty laundry and secrets to all of ur friends LMFAO he really doesnt mean to though but youll all be having dinner or something and someone will order a specific food and he’ll be like “wait baby isnt that the food that gives you really bad gas?” goodbye

the classic "THIS IS FOR YOU <3" and misses

armin:

uses the 🥺 emoji way too much for a grown ass man. like its cute sometimes but its definitely his most used emoji. also says "sowwy" when ur mad at him :/

loves when you scratch his back/head but only does urs for like 2 mins LMFAO. ur taking turns in bed and when its his turn to scratch he does it for like 30 seconds and then is like my turn :) or im tired goodnight :) also gets mad when you stop unexpectedly. gives you side eye

drools in his sleep LMFAO. sleeps with his mouth open and its not that big of a deal unless he’s sleeping on you and you wake up with a fucking wet patch on your chest as if a baby was just napping on you

prefers you without make up and doesnt really understand that you wear it for personal or creative reasons, like he automatically assumes its because you’re insecure or covering something up. like youre going out and having fun getting ready and looking pretty and hes like “why do you wear makeup when you are so beautiful naturally? :)”

buys millennial merch like “dont talk to me before my coffee” or those signs that say “dogs welcome! people tolerated” also calls dogs “floofers” and “doggos”

jean:

genuinely says sheesh. like not as a joke. he'll be like sheesh baby you look so good today and you'll have to hide ur embarrassment lol

is the type to NEVER let you get away with stuttering or fumbling ur words. you know that tiktok thats like "you ever stutter so hard you just have to stfu" thats you around jean LMFAO. you mispronounce one word and hes never letting you forget it

NEVER FINISHES A WATER BOTTLE. he will leave half filled bottles all over the place and then have the audacity to open a new one and drink it in front of you???

sleeps like a LOG. will not move. when he snores and you try to kick him a little bit to be like hey turn over ur snoring, he is not waking up. he gets up the next morning whistling a little tune looking like he just had the best sleep of his life and you crawl out of bed like a gremlin who almost fell off the bed and listened to his snores for 10 hours

such a music snob. he will be like “baby i recently discovered this really good song you probably havent heard of it its super underground” and its tame impala LOL

connie:

hes a mouth breather. he also chews so fucking loud. you guys are sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast & minding ur own business, and he is going to TOWN on his food. close ur mouth. imbecile

kinda the same topic but definitely bites his ice cream / popsicles. you are starting to think he doesnt have feeling in his front teeth anymore. he crunches the fuck out of ice as a "snack"

laughs along with a joke that you know he doesnt understand PLEASE it could be an inside joke w you and your girlfriends and hes trying to butt into the conversation like "HAHAHA"

his phone is always greasy and has crumbs in the cracks of the case and shit. ur like oh babe can you take a pic of me real quick??? and its so blurry because of the shit on his lens

leaves the toilet seat up every. single. time. especially not fun when you pee in the middle of the night and fall in with sleepy tired eyes

levi:

sleeps with socks on. LET UR DOGS BREATHE LEVI. he thinks sleeping barefoot is nasty so he puts on a new pair of socks every time he gets into bed

has to correct you, even on tiny minute details. youre telling a story and youre like "so we waited in line for like 30 minutes" and hes like "it was actually 45." or "we went out to eat last monday" "it was tuesday but ok" like ENOUGH. let me have something

worst. backseat. driver. ever. you could break a little too quickly ONE time and hes so dramatic about it. “that wasnt a complete stop” “you’re supposed to be in the next lane” “that car was in your blindspot and you didnt even look”

answers the phone with “what” every single time. not a hello??? how are you??? how was your day??? it sounds like a chore but in reality he just doesnt like technology and thinks phone calls/texts should be as concise and quick as possible

has literally no decor in his house/apartment like it actually looks uninhabited. has like one couch and a bed. you offer to help him pick some things out and hes like “im always at work anyways why would i need a table”

reiner:

likes drake LMFAO not even old drake (when he was good) but like new "say that you a lesbian girl me too" drake

repeats a joke that didn't land because he thinks you didn't hear it. but you did. it just wasn't funny

when you guys first started talking he was definitely the guy to be like "ur so beautiful, whats a girl like you doing with a little ugly boy like me???" when you guys are in a relationship youre able to see that its just his insecurities manifesting but. it was cringey at first

i just know this man has dirty fingernails. like they are short and well kept but there is always DIRT AND GRIME under them. you make him wash his hands before he touches you

cant be quiet for the life of him. he has loud ass footsteps. like ur sleeping and granted he is trying so hard to be quiet but he literally cannot. slams his drawers, shuts the door so loud, will play a video on his phone full blast. and then when you stir from your sleep and glare at him hes like “good morning :D”

porco:

genuinely says "without me? :(" when you say you are about to shower LMFAOOOO its kinda funny when you guys are in an established relationship bc u can just smack him but he is definitely guilty of saying it seriously when you two were in the talking stage

accidentally mansplains things to you. not in a demeaning or belittling way but like youll make a joke about "why cant we just print more money" and this business major bitch is like "baby...are you serious...because inflation will-" like OKAYYYY it was a joke

his hair is so crunchy from all of the hair product/gel he uses on it. sometimes when hes fresh out of the shower youll compliment his natural hair as an attempt to get him to lay off the gel. his hair is so hard you could drop a brick on his head and it would deflect

backwashes in all of your shared drinks

manspreads, especially in public. youll be sitting in a crowded place and he is openly sprawled out extremely comfortable while a woman with a baby is giving him a dirty look

i had a lot of fun coming up with these! i hope this was what you were asking for :3 thanks for requesting!

#aot headcanons #eren jaeger headcanons #armin arlert headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #levi ackerman headcanons #connie springer headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #porco galliard headcanons #eren x reader #armin x reader #jean x reader #connie x reader #levi x reader #reiner x reader #porco x reader

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noritoshiikamo · 3 years

Text

valedictorian student gave her professor blowjob to get a better grade (gone wrong!)

a part of Jujutsu Hub collab, check out the rest of the works from other talented writers. thank you @suna-reversed for letting me be part of this! pairing: modern au! professor noritoshi kamo + student fem!reader genre: 18+ smut, minors dni warning: thread slight ahead, coercion, exploitation through power dynamics, dubcon, manipulative behaviour (both characters), humiliation, degradation, male receiving oral, penetrative sex, voyeurism, creampie note: the obligatory trio of mine: unedited, lowercase intended and english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. tagging: @fushigurocockslut , @sukirichi , @sassyeahhhh, @unabashednightmarepizza, @dok-ja, @chososupremacy, @cotton-curse, @lazy10ieiri have fun

check out a fanart of professor kamo: here

“professor kamo!”

the mentioned didn’t even bat an eye, legs moving faster while focusing on his phone and the cup of coffee in his hand. she grunted, speeding up her pace until she was directly behind him. a waft of his perfume hit her. this man smells expensive; a walking daddy issue reminder.

unlike her other professors who are as old as her own father, her thermodynamic professor is young, probably few years older than her. a random guess because no one knows his actual age or whether he’s single or married or anything. all they knew was he was transferred from kyoto and that his family’s name is a famous for something she couldn’t even remember anymore.

physics department of university of tokyo was buzzing ever since his transfer.

except maybe for her technical mathematics professor. she bit the inside of her cheeks, holding a smile as she thought of professor gojo satoru. she wouldn’t mind a bite of that. her thoughts halted when her face slammed straight onto his back. a string of curses escaped his lips as the coffee spilled slightly over his coat, annoyed that this student still followed him despite him actively ignoring her. they stopped right in front of his office; she was too engrossed in her thought she didn’t even realise it.

“you better have a good goddamn excuse for disturbing me.”

she watched as he unlocked his office, not bothered to hold it open for her and headed straight for the desk. he removed his jacket, undoing a couple button of his white shirt and rolling the sleeves up. all while his eyes stared boringly up and down her body. she started to feel conscious of her look, clearing her throat as she quickly crossed her arms across her chest. she picked the wrong day to wear her new skirt that fell just above her knees.

“are you going to continue to daydream in my office or are you going to tell me what you want trailing me like a dog, miss l/n, isn’t it?”

he glanced at the name sheet on his table, the way her last name rolled out of his tongue went straight down her spine. he sat on the chair; the wheels squeaked at the sudden weight upon it. she ignored the shudders, dropping her bag on the floor before occupying herself on the chair in front of the simple hollow wooden desk. she could see his legs crossed from where she sat, and her mind wondered how easy it would be for her to crawl through.

“miss l/n? is this going to be long? i have a meeting in 30 minutes,” he pointed to the opened laptop in front of him.

she startled, “uh yes, i have a couple issues with you, professor kamo, if you don’t mind. firstly, since when do you release our carry mark out in public like that? it’s a private information, i don’t see other professors doing it.” the world doesn’t need to know her name and her 69% carry mark with red letters and all when she clearly knew she aced the midterm. unconventional but everyone in his class got a leaked pdf of the midterm the night before and she personally knew that it was right because she was the one who leaked it. not that she told people that it was her doing but heck, she should’ve been right above the 75% passing mark.

he shrugged, “i only released carry mark of people that's below the passing mark. just a reminder for them to work hard on the upcoming finals. no harm in that.” she gritted her teeth at the way he looked so smug.

“only my name is not covered and censored, professor kamo, that’s a breach of my privacy, so there’s a harm in that,” she protested, pulling her phone out. she unlocked it, opened the photo, and handed the professor the proof. it was right, only her name was uncensored while others had their names blacked out with only student ids available.

she was the only student in his class in the failing mark.

“like i said,” he offered her a smirk, throwing gasoline straight into her burning wound, “it’s a reminder for you to work harder, miss l/n. thermodynamic isn’t even hard. i don’t know why you struggled when most of your classmates passed easily. you have 7 weeks till finals, right?” she nodded at his question. “maybe you should drop my class. i would approve your unenrollment, no harm. but it would affect your transcript this semester. your choice. anyway, would you mind? my meeting is starting early.” he pointed to the door, a silent and kinda polite get the fuck out of my office while he wore his wireless earbuds and turned his attention to the laptop.

she stared at the man in disbelieved. the audacity of this man to just tell her to drop the subject which she knew for a fact that she had high carry mark.

“y-you can’t do that? it’s inappropriate for you to force your students to drop a class because of your own incompetency. i have higher marks than that stupid cunt with her stupid tits out in every of your class and you are telling me she got fucking 80%?” she slammed her hand on the table, sending a couple of his stuff flying. she could hear a couple rumbling from his earphone asking if there’s something wrong and he turned his attention towards her. he wasn’t exactly mad, maybe slightly annoyed.

“stupid cunt with her tits out?” the amusing look on his face and his little chuckle made her wanted to crawl over the desk and choke the living out of him. he snapped his finger and glanced on the name list, “ahh, was it emma?”

“yes, who else?” she snapped, “but it’s only appropriate for me to call her cunt. you’re her professor. unless- huh, nevermind. but you know, i’m not that surprised.”

professor kamo snorted, pressing something on his keyboard so loudly she wouldn’t even surprise if he breaks something, “away, 5 minutes,” he said before pressing the button again. he let out a harsh breath before leaning back in his chair, “i feel like you’re insinuating something i don’t associated myself with.” she gave a bitter laugh, hand pressed to her chest as she leaned over the desk.

“you look cute when you act stupid. everyone knows emma slept with all of her professors. she’s a long friend of mine, we know her motives. you don’t need to feel so high and mighty. you’re new, it’s okay to be emma’s little fuck toys.”

he pinched the bridge of his nose, lips pressed thin as he let her words sunk in. should’ve taken the directory board position, noritoshi, should’ve done that instead, his mind rambled.

“fine,” he lifted his shoulder in a half shrug as he leaned forward, fingers intertwined, “i’ll give you two options. i will either report you for this wild accusation you’re throwing at me right now, or you leave my office, drop my subject and i’ll forget you ever dare say shit like that to my face.”

“or?” her brows shot up.

“or?”

she scoffed, “there’s always a third option. what is it?”

“get,” he squinted his eyes, this time she knew he was on thin ice as he jerked his head towards the door, “out.” he didn’t wait for any response or reaction from his student, just shove his earbuds back in and continued with his meeting. she could see the heavy clenching on his jaws, and she fought to urge to let out a final couple words. he’s not worth it, y/n, let it go¸ shouted a voice from the corner of her brain. she stood up, grabbing her bag before heading for the door.

“i’m back. just throwing some trash out.”

her movement halted. she gritted her teeth and contemplated. she knew reporting him without any proof would just be useless. it would be his words against hers. if she was going to fail this subject, might as well make it worth. emma shouldn’t be the only one having fun here.

she let go of the door handle and glanced around. he was still engrossed with his meeting and some paperwork, and he looked just so inviting. his office was slightly dimmed and quite private, being the furthest from the busy stairs. locking the door, she dropped her bag and tossed her hair back out of her face. on one hand, she was going to get called out for her lack of regard for her school responsibilities and on the other, she was about to seduce her professor with the mind blowing blowjob of her life with the man of she never thought she would. there was a unique mixture of fear and arousal in her right now. he didn’t even realise she was still in the room until he felt something on his legs.

“what th-”

she tightened her grip to his thighs. “shut up, or i’ll scream,” she threatened, her fingers looping around to undo his belt buckle. there was a little smile on her face as she unzipped his pants down. through the reflection of the mirror behind the door, he could see her underneath his desk; her hiked-up skirt, her pretty lace panties on the show. “there’s always a third option, professor kamo,” she was slightly surprised to see that he was actually half hard in her hands, “never knew talking about emma and her tits got you going, prof. was it her tits or was it my short skirt?” his grips on the edge of the desk were whitening, his eyes darting back and forth from the laptop and her face nuzzling on his cock.

you okay, noritoshi? you look like you’ve seen ghost? one of the professors in the meeting raised a concern. “yeah, uh, just the lighting in my office. i look slightly pale,” he fought the urge to moan, when she replaced her fingers with her mouth, with each passing second, his arousal taking over his guilt. “hold on, hold on,” he hissed as he scrambled to mute the meeting, succeeding but with a painful cost of her squeezing the base of his dick harshly.

“nuh uh, that’s not how this game works, professor. keep your mic and video on. for every 5 minutes you manage to control yourself, i’ll take a piece of my clothes off,” he watched as her fingers slowly unbuttoned her shirt, shrugging it aside revealing a skimpy bralette that barely hold her breasts in. noritoshi was breathless, kneeling between his legs, teasing his cock is his own beautiful student, only in her bralette and skirt and that long boots that accentuated her legs. he nodded, agreeing to her term.

“oh, and one more thing. you’ll fix my fucking score. it’s really a win-win situation,” she flicked her tongue against the reddening tip. his dick twitched and she could see his pre cum slowly oozing out of the slit. “if not, i’ll scream and we’ll see how it goes.”

“you’re a stupid cunt,” he hissed as her mouth enveloped his tip, humming in agreement as she gripped his thighs. she was completely taken off guard. this was supposed to be a simple seduction in attempt to fix her score but instead now she was finding herself actually turned on from dominating her professor. her tongue pressed flat against his length, her head going up and down in such an excruciating pace, his hand immediately went down. it was easy to pull her tits out of her bralette, she let out a little mewling as his fingers rolled her nubs roughly, occasionally a little slap or two against her sensitive mound. he glanced at the clock, excruciatingly waiting for that 1 more minute mark so he could have her remove her skirt off.

he wasn’t focusing on the meeting anymore. there was a tiny part of noritoshi that wished he could stop but the rest of him was determined to see his student’s nose crushed against his pelvis. he didn’t need to ask as her eyes locked on his own as she forced herself down to the base. he felt her little gagging, but she pushed through. his face reddened with the loud sound of her throat clamping on his cock, the squelching and her moans echoing his room. with his cock deep in her throat, he watched as she unzipped her skirt, tossing it aside.

his fingers grabbed hold of her hair, eagerly thrusting his hips upward. he caught her hand running down her belly, slipping into her panties, her lidded eyes and her moans intensified, as she pleasured herself. his cock slipped from her lips, she struggled to catch her breath, giving her aching jaw a break while concentrating on her cunt for a bit. she panted in barely controlled lust.

“panties,” he murmured below his breath and she nodded eagerly, removing the thin material soaked in her arousal. then she was down on his cock again. his head was buzzing, with her tight throat clamping on his cock again and the sound of her pussy squelching around her fingers, it was absolute heaven. soon, she was fucking herself so furiously that she temporarily lost control of herself. her sucking became more forceful; her moaning became loud grunting. he sat there motionless, cock aching to be buried in her cunt as her orgasm hit her and his head spinning.

her eyes widened as he pulled himself out and stood up. “what the fuck? ouch!” she screamed as he pulled her out of the under table, fingers laced in her hair as he tossed her on the table. confused, she startled when she realised that the meeting was still on and the 15 different screens of different professors were looking on her. her tits and cunt were put on display and her face warmed when she realised, she recognized a couple of her own professors.

professor gojo, especially, seemed interested in the lack of her clothes.

her fight or flight kicked in and she pushed herself up to run and hide but his hand pressed on her back and he roughly pulled her head up. she fought the urge to break down. her body shivered at the feeling of his warm breath on her back, her bra unclasped, and she was completely bare. professor kamo laughed, one of the earbuds transferred from his ears and she could listen to the murmuring of the different professors.

“ahh, and i thought nori was lying when he said he got a student sucking him off,” came from professor geto.

professor gojo was giddy, “oh i love her, she’s in my tech math class, y/n i think. she has big brain and an even bigger pair of titties.”

“you guys are being disgusting.” a female voice interjected.

“don’t hate us cause you ain’t us, utahime,” professor gojo snickered, “hey kamo, maybe if you’re done with her, drop her off to utahime, she hasn’t had pussy in a while.”

“fuck off, satoru.”

noritoshi nuzzled against her, his warm breath tickled her ear and when she tried to move, he only held her tighter. she could feel his wet cock resting on the valley of her ass. she tried to open her mouth, building her courage to scream but his hand covered her mouth instantly. “nuh uh, that’s not how this game works,” he teased, landing a hand on one of her plushy ass cheeks. the vulnerable feeling overwhelmed her, and only deepened the pit of desire in her belly.

“tell me, do you think i didn’t know what you’re doing coming into my office in that piece of cloth you dared call skirt? you think you’re manipulating me, sweetheart, how stupid can you be?”

she shut her eyes close when his fingers ghosted between her legs. the whistling and yelling came from the earbud invaded her mind reminding her that she was being watched; a quiet whimper fell from her lips as her professor parted her soaked slit. so, she did lie when she said professor gojo was the only professor she fantasized of doing; she couldn't pretend anymore that she’d not fantasized that many nights under the covers with the company of her vibrator thinking about being spread apart by him. she just never thought it'd be like this. and in front of a lot of spectators. her whole body felt hot.

“you’re right about emma, she got big tits but she could never get 80 in my class. i swiped her mark with yours, i know you’ll freak out,” he explained, an amusing smile etched on his face when she let out a shaky moan as his fingers circled her clit. a wave of shame washed over her, his touches intensifying the throbbing desire to be fucked right now.

“you see these people,” he let go of her mouth, moved to grab her jaw forcing her to look down on the screen, “all of the professors here, we all had a bet going. which one of our students can be bagged and fucked into our personal little cum slut for the rest of the semester? i mean it would be easy for me to go with emma, she sleeps around but where’s the fun in that when i can get a scholarship holder like you? what would the board said when they realised a future valedictorian graduate like you seduced her professor for higher marks?” she let out a choke sob, humiliated at revelation. she thought of how easily she fell in his trap few hours ago.

“i won’t tell anyone, please, i need my scholarship, my parents will murder me if i get kicked out,” she cried out, head back desperately begging for his mercy. she ignored the teasing remarks and the whistling, ignoring the warmth spreading all over her face and neck.

“sounds like someone agreed to be a teacher’s pet,” professor mei mei interjected.

noritoshi tilted his head, brows up in question, “so, what do you say, buttercup? it’s really a win-win situation.”

his hand moved back to the front of her neck, squeezing lightly as he pushed his palm on her lower back. her ass jutted up; legs spread giving the camera a nice view of her soaking cunt.

“i-i don't know-” she whimpered; the corner of mind hesitating while the other had her gasping at the feeling of his cock running along her slippery slit.

"you're this turned on,” he emphasised on his word as the tip of his cock slipped easily into her entrance, “you can't even think straight, can you? let me help you decide, okay?” he nipped just below her ear as he thrusted his hard length inside her. an appreciative moan escaped her mouth, enjoying the way her slick walls clamped down desperately on him. “pro-professor kamo!” she gasped, and he tightened his grip to her neck as his hips snapped backward and back in, giving her barely any time to adjust herself. the stretch burned but after a while it had her eyes rolling backward.

“i think she should play with herself,” a voice commented.

“what do you think, sweetie?” he hummed, planting a kiss on the crook of her neck. his other free hand travelled to her chest, giving her breast a quick squeeze. his thrusts slowed down sending her eyes wide opened as she looked back at him.

she nodded eagerly, “p-please let me touch myself, professor kamo.”

he glanced to the camera, a smug smile on his face, “i think she finally get the game,” she listened to the murmuring of agreement before he nodded, giving her the permission to touch herself. “you’re not allowed to cum, however. i’ll know if you fake it or pretend not too, so don’t test me,” he whispered down on her ears, a little something for her only.

he returned to his mean pace, over and over, his thrust gradually getting faster, with the angle of their position had him slamming directly into her g-spot every time. even from the camera they could see the slick running down her thighs. the way her tits bounced with every thrust, her desperate whimpered and tears running down her face had some of the audiences pulling their own pants down.

he couldn’t help but to grin when he realised, she was meeting his pace halfway. “it felt good huh?” he teased, tightening his grip to her waist, thrusting harder than before. "yes, professor, it feels so good when you fuck me like that," the sound of their skin slapping resonated loudly; they didn’t give any thoughts of whether anyone walking around could’ve heard it.

“cum-nghh, please,” she couldn’t control the mewls and whimpers that escaped her mouth, desperately clenching around him. she was lost in the smell of him, drowning in the smell of sex circulating the room. it wasn’t helping that his mouth was against her ear, breathing and moaning heavily occasionally whispering how much she felt so good on him, how he was so desperate to fill her up and loving how full she looked with the little bulge on her belly.

“you think you deserve to cum?”

“yes, professor,” she battered her eyes, “please let me cum.”

“are you going to show them how full you’ll be when i fill you up?” he questioned, his lips jutted a little with a little begging look which she ate up quickly, nodding enthusiastically. oh, how his little pet was so obliging and eager to please. twisting her head back, he pressed his lips on her with her little tongue imitating the movement of her hips in a rhythm. just like her, he was desperately close to cumming; god knows how he deserves to fill up his student. he started bucking frantically, loving the feeling of every inch of her tight, hot cunt. he could feel his own orgasm building with each long, hard thrust.

“cumming, fuck, fuck, professo- i’m-”

she couldn’t even make out a proper sentence, her own moan interrupted herself as the long awaiting waves of orgasm crashed through. she could feel her cunt clenching on his length as she came, and it wasn’t long until her own professor came undone. he bit down on her shoulder, grunting heavily as he continued to thrust, feeling spurts of his warm jizz filling up her tight cunt.

it took them a couple of minutes to recover, breathing heavily with his dick still buried in her. he had to clear his throat before any words would come out, his voice was so dry. “fuck, come, get on the table, show them your pretty little cunt,” his hoarse voice ordered, she whimpered at the empty feeling of her cunt but eager to please as she sat on the table. with her legs spread open and the laptop in the middle of her legs, her sweaty back resting against his frantic chest, their audiences watched eagerly as his cum dribbled down her aching cunt down her ass and onto the table.

he brushed the hair off her sweaty face and looked into her eyes. she could see her freedom fleeting away from the smile on his face, sealing the fate of her scholarship and her future in his hand and his dark eyes glinting eagerly as they listened to their praises. she was too tired to brush them off, desperately to flick a finger to the camera but she could barely move. she was putty in his arms, his finger hooked her chin up, their eyes met.

“good job, miss y/n,” professor kamo praised, patting her cheeks gently, “i think you earned a little extra mark for that initiative.”

2K notes · View notes

the-midnight-slasher-official · 3 years

Text

taking the slashers to the store

Bo Sinclair:

- boi does not give a flying fuck about anyone but himself.

- spends all the time in the auto section in the back of Wal-Mart.

- "bo you don't need oil. You need a whole new truck"🙄

- " what do you mean"?

- No air conditioner, constant leaks, broken mirrors, etc.

- his truck is literally one pot whole away from meeting the lord.

- literally the type of person who would Rip open a bag of cookies and eat it without paying for it. and then just throw the bag on the floor or put it on another shelf.

-"hey babe, dont this knife look cool?"

- eyes down a little kid like they're a disease.

- makes you carry everything. Because he's the type of motherfucker who be like "we don't need a cart, you have a set of hands that work perfectly".

- stingy as fuck with the money.

- " I ain't getting jonesy a dog brush. She can lick herself. Its nature."

- grimaced anytime a child cried.

- would literally confront the mother and tell her to do better with her child🙄 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vincent Sinclair:

- loves the arts and crafts center.

- hands full of yarn, paint, clay, crayons. Stuff is falling all over the floor.

- " Vince why didn't you get a cart!?"

-these damn Sinclair boys and their carts.

- gets everything and anything and throws it I the cart like this motherfucker gonna pay for it.

- garden center

- type of motherfucker to get a bunch of garden supplies and never use it.

- looks at all the knifes. Like bruh🙄

- very flinchy. Anytime a child cries or screams he flinches.

- hangs his head low anytime someone passes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lester sinclair:

- pest control aisle.

- looking at all the raid and bug spray.

- "damn mosquiters, always biting meh damn face n' shit"

- ok then....

- LOOKS. AT. THE. KNIFES.

-"ain't this one cool?? Add it to my collection "

- type of motherfucker to pick his boogers and wipe it on his shirt or a shelf.

- tries to steal a woman's purse. 🙄

- Good luck trying to get this man to go into the hygiene aisle.

- would get a soda and drink it and then throw's the empty bottle into someone else's cart. And then walk away acting clueless when they look at him, like its a reality prank show.

- the woman ringing up everything feels uncomfortable because their getting stared down by Lester.

-"ok, your total is going to be $95.99"

-" damn, y/n. Your expensive "

- bruh🙄 your the one paying. And everything in the cart is his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brahms :

- thinks hes better than everyone else in the facility.

- walks with a pep in his step. (Look at my lemon pepper steppers)

- doesn't make eye contact with anyone.

- literally throws shit across the store.

- just opens a box of food and eats it, getting crumb everywhere like a damn heathen.

- huffs and puffs when he's standing by your side in the makeup aisle.

- sees something cool *throws it in the cart*

- enjoys the garden center.

- Comes back with arms full of different baby plants.

-"Brahms, i-"

- the type of motherfucker you gotta keep an eye on. Cause he disappears fast.

- TOUCHES. EVERYTHING.

- DOESNT KEEP HIS HANDS OFF OF THINGS.

- gotta get him to keep his hands on the cart.

-anytime a child cries he would throw something at it 😂

- would bend down into a child's face and stare at it.

- "damn Brahms, let it breathe. Tf"

- he sees guinea pig food and then sprays rodent/pest control on it. 🙄

- "who the fuck wants rodents in their house" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thomas:

- confused that there's no human teeth/ organs in Wal-Mart.

- gets mason jars for pickling things.

- "there's no pig eyes here"

- OF COURSE THERE ISNT.

- tries to make a crying child smile. But ends up scaring it because he's a huge man.

- pickles eggs, pickles sausage, pork rines, pickled everything and anything.

- arts and crafts. Wants to make himself a new mask.

- dumbfounded by all the new technology.

- throws everything and anything in the cart.

- cooking aisle.

- brownies, cookies, cake, ice cream.

- Dude does not say excuse me. He just shoves people aside.

- " damn. Bitch say excuse me!!"

- just turns around and grunts in their face.

#slashers #thomas hewitt #bosinclair #vincent sinlclair smut #lestersinclair #brahms heelshire x reader

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very-something-z · 3 years

Text

in an effort to get some of my mutuals to read worm I'll try to give brief spoiler free synopsis of some of the characters (mostly their powers).

Main Cast

Taylor/Skitter: 15 bullied girl controls bugs in biblical proportions, bites off more than she can chew still wins somehow??

Lisa/Tattletale: 16 self describes powers as "Sherlock Holmes on drugs", is asexual

Brian/Grue: 17 Incredibly handsome, power essentially creates magical darkness dnd style

Alec/Regent: 15ish trash boy with the worst home life like honestly if you thought Endeavor was bad you ain't seen nothing yet. can make peoples nerves fire kind of like a twitch.

Rachel/Bitch: 16ish yes that's her name no she wont change it fuck you for asking. Butch, likes dogs.

The Local Protectorate

the government sponsored heroes

Armsmaster: acts more like a robot than actual robots, is the batman ironman type guy.

Miss Militia: Was a literal child soldier before immigrating to the US, basically green lantern but only guns.

Assault & Battery: Battery was a young heroine with minor electric powers who captured a villain who basically said I'll be a good guy but only if you marry me, she said yes. he renamed himself assault.

Velocity: An extremely poor man's Flash like seriously 0.50$ bargain bin

Dauntless: Is cooler than Armsmaster, no Armsmaster is NOT jealous.

Triumph: Recently turned 18. Yells.

Wards

also government, but for kids under 18

Aegis: Worst flying brick of all time ever.

Gallant: Emotion powers.

Clockblocker: hates his job and his life, uses humor to cope. it isnt working. can pause things if he touches them.

Kid Win: if Ironman was a kid with dyscalculia. rides a hoverboard.

Vista: is like 12, has been a hero for like 2 years has been on the team longer then everyone except Aegis maybe.

Shadow Stalker: is trying very hard to be the edgy vigilante. comes with crossbows. has hate boner for Grue.

New Wave

was a local hero team who decided to do a face reveal. Have kids who are also heroes.

Lady Photon/Sarah Pelham: flight, force fields, and lasers oh my. nicknamed Photon Mom. Trusts her sister a little too much.

Manpower/Neil Pelham: 7'0" tall buff super strength with an electro magnetic force field.

Laserdream/Crystal Pelham: 19 is just trying to go to college. same powers as mom faster flight more powerful lasers weaker shield. Idk if this was just me but massive lesbian energies.

Shielder/Eric Pelham: everyone gets this wrong but apparently hes 14?? Same deal as his mom but the opposite of his sister, slower flight, weaker lasers, better shields.

Brandish/Carol Dallon: Isn't the best mom. A decent lawyer. creates hard light objects like swords. Lady Photons sister.

Flashbang/Mark Dallon: is depressed. his powers are a flashbang literally.

Glory Girl/Victoria Dallon: 17. is dating Gallant. flight, personal force field, super strength, and a like me emotion aura.

Panacea/Amy Dallon: 15 is adopted. "healing" powers. needs serious psychological help. is later retconned to be the same age as glory girl.

Villains

I'm doing the leaders because fuck Doing all 14 of the nazis.

Lung: runs the Asian Bad Boyz. Its scarier than it sounds. turns into a dragon.

Kiaser: runs Empire 88 a neo nazi gang. is also a huge dickhead. makes metal blades out of other metal.

Skidmark: is about as threatening as his name would suggest which is not at all. has a foul mouth. run the Archers Bridge Merchants.

Faultline: is a total mom. in denial about being a mom. has adopted 3 children and 1 grown man. Hates Tattletale. Is a mercenary. doesn't kill. is a total mom.

Purity: was married to Kaiser. is trying hard to take the kids in the divorce. left Empire 88 to try and be a solo hero. is still racist.

Coil: a big ol' spoiler.

Misc.

Parian: does puppet shows for the kids using her power to control textiles to animate stuffed animals. is in college for fashion design. is middle eastern and very gay.

Eidolon: has the power of that one kid in third grade who would just make up new powers on the fly when playing superhero. is the strongest of the big three super heroes in the US. needs worthy opponents.

Alexandria: is THE flying brick. in universe all other flying bricks are referred to as alexandria packages. one of the big three. is kind of a bitch.

Legend: the only member of the big three who is genuinely nice. does lasers with a multitude of effects and flies at light speed. is gay and has a husband and son. sometimes makes rainbows as he flies because he can.

The Number Man: is THE villain banker. numbers hard enough to have a triple digit kill count.

Scion: the first person to have powers. just appeared one day out of thin air above the Atlantic ocean floating mid-air naked glowing golden skin.

Accord: Villain with plans to solve world hunger. OCD so bad it sends him into a homicidal rage.

#Worm #Wildbow #Parahumans #The Undersiders #Taylor Hebert #Skitter #Please read it

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ppersonna · 4 years

Text

higher - kth | m

all that matters to me girl, win or lose, is an x-rated complete swirl of me and you. so if you want to see the show, just come with me baby, i will show you how i roll - insurance?, the higher

↳ summary- a chance meeting with a handsome stranger in the airport leads to a very exciting flight.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 3.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, pwp, the plot is basically one whole sentence

↳ warnings- public sex, exhibitionism, fingering, dirty talk, cum play, unprotected sex (fiction isnt rl life, wrap it up pals), sex in an airport and a plane whoops, sex with stranger

↳ a/n- hi folks! this fic has been in my trash basically because i wasnt sure i liked it too much! but i was convinced by a few friends to post it. i surely hope you enjoy this little to no plot LMFAO. pls feel free to message, comment, dm me, carrier pigeon, etc etc. i LOVE YOU.

“Wow, you’re cute,” a voice calls to you through the crowded airport.

You lower your book down to gaze at where the voice came from, an eyebrow arched in confusion. An airport was an odd place to be hit on.

The voice came from the man across from you, sitting in the black plastic leather seat of the waiting area for your gate. He waves his hand a little as if to take ownership for the compliment.

“Oh, uhhh,” you bite your lip. “Thank you?”

He smiles. It’s beautiful. You’re struck by the gleaming white teeth and boxy smile.

“Are you heading to Los Angeles too?” He leans forward, wanting to get closer to you.

You lay your book down on your lap and nod. “Yeah, I am. Visiting.”

The boy wouldn’t stop grinning. He was ethereal in beauty. Cover of a magazine star quality. Shaggy brown hair, button nose and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. His voice was a sinful pitch of sexy baritone and his body appeared lithe and toned. Of all the men to hit on you in a bustling airport, you were glad it was this one.

“Me too! Meeting my friends there for a long bachelor party week of partying.”

“Oh, you’re getting married?” You ask. That would make this exchange less invigorating.

“No! No,” he quickly replies. “My childhood best friend Seokjin is. He wants to go around LA and eat at as many restaurants as he can and then drink until he passes out. His words.”

You stifle a laugh, pleased with the information that the young suitor across from you is at the very least, not engaged. “Sounds like a wild time.”

He nods in agreement, flashing a cute grin. Your stomach flips. He’s so attractive. You can’t help but eye him down, let your gaze soak in his beauty. He notices and smirks.

“What seat are you?” He asks.

“Ah,” you squint at the ticket in your lap. “14A. Window seat.”

He laughs out loud. “No fucking way.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “Why?”

“I’m 14B.”

You join in his laughter. “Seems like we’re in for an exciting flight.”

He winks at you and you feel your stomach flip in anticipation.

“I think you’re right,” he agrees.

“I’m Taehyung, by the way. Can’t wait to get to know you better, neighbor.” He drawls, before leaving to stand in line to board the plane.

The long haul flight starts out simple, conversation flowing between you and Taehyung easily. You discuss your plans for LA, what you hope to see, your friends. He’s a gentleman from the very beginning and asks questions about your life. He seems genuinely curious about you. He hands you his phone before the plane takes off, begging to see your Instagram.

You grin as you take the device and tap in your username, showing him the profile that pops up.

“God damn,” he sighs as he scrolls through your images. Selfies, pictures with friends, your dog, everything. “You’re really fucking attractive.”

You blush and watch as he presses the ‘follow’ button. You’re just as eager to get a glimpse at his own profile. The man looks like he could be a model, you’re sure his pictures do him justice. Plus, you’re dying to show your friends the hottie who hit on you in the airport.

The flight takes off and you settle in for a long, 15 hour flight with your new companion.

The chill of the recycled air prickles at your skin, and you’re tugging on the thin airplane blanket as soon as you can.

He coos at you, finding the sight of you cuddled up adorable. “You’re really cute,” he states again. “I’m like, ridiculously into you.”

Your cheeks heat. “You’re like, ridiculously confident, you know?”

He offers a wink in reply.

“I’d totally fuck you.” He sighs after a moment, causing you to splutter on your own spit.

“Jesus! We just met!” Your eyes widen in surprise, looking around to ensure no one on the plane heard your conversation.

“So? What's the difference between meeting at a club or meeting on a plane? After the club, you still get laid.”

You’re silent for a moment, pondering his words. Honestly, he’s not wrong. The only difference is the level of exhibitionism he’s exuding.

But, the idea of hooking up with the handsome stranger on the flight has you aching in more than one way.

“Here?” You whisper harshly, heart rate elevating quickly.

He laughs for a moment. “Damn, I meant like in the bathroom or something, but you’ve got a better idea.”

Your cheeks are nearly tomato red in color as he winks at you.

“You down?” He asks sweetly.

You feel Taehyung’s hand land on your thigh, rubbing at the fabric of your yoga tights. You steal a glance at him and see him staring right back at you, a smirk clear in his perfectly shaped lips.

“I-...,” it’s hard to talk, let alone breathe. Taehyung is offering to pleasure you right here in the middle of a crowded plane. The thought is heady and very persuasive. “Will you stop if I ask you to?”

Tae’s eyes soften. “Of course. You just say the word and I’ll stop.”

His reaction seems genuine and makes your heart flutter in relief. You worry your bottom lip for just a moment, and then nod your agreement.

“Just keep quiet,” you whisper and his grin is wicked.

“I’d worry about yourself in that regard.”

You’re suddenly thankful the old man sitting next to Taehyung on the aisle seat is fast asleep, blackout mask covering his eyes and earbuds shoved in his ears.

Tae’s fingers slide up and down your leg. He sees your blissed out face already and winks.

Fuck, it’s incredible how quickly he turns you on. His hand on your leg has you absolutely soaking wet. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what else he could do, your body might not handle it.

His fingers run up higher, towards where your thighs meet. He grazes his touch over your core and you’re sure he can feel your wetness. It feels like your whole body is burning, his touch igniting flames wherever he drags his fingers.

He leans over to whisper in your ear. “I’m a little cold, mind if I share the blanket?”

You can only nod, the power of speech completely gone now. You gasp as his fingers maintain an up and down motion along your clothed slit.

He chuckles and pulls the blanket over himself to join you in the warmth. To any bystander on the plane, you appear as a loved up couple sharing a blanket for a nice nap. In reality, you’re strangers desperate to feel each other.

“Pull these leggings down for me, baby?” He asks, but it sounds like a demand. You’re so into it you can’t even breathe. You idly obey, lifting your hips slightly to push the leggings down just far enough to not be suspicious.

He turns his body to rest his head on your shoulder, giving off the illusion of a lovesick boyfriend wanting to cuddle.

“Fuck,” he moans into your ear. His finger is rubbing along your pussy now, gathering up the slick that has gathered. “So fucking wet for me.”

You swallow thickly and try to bite back the loud moan begging to leave your lips.

“Do you like that, babe?” He whispers, the breath in your ear making you shiver. “You want me to finger you here on the plane?”

“P-please,” you croak out. He turns your face towards him and presses his lips against yours. The kiss is all innocence, as his fingers slide into your core. He’s the definition of heaven and hell. You stifle a moan against his lips as you feel him enter you, his fingers curling up as he begins a gentle thrust. The silver rings on his fingers are cold, and you’re sure they’ll be covered in your slick by the time he’s done with you.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans. “You feel like fucking heaven baby.”

You’re trying to stay quiet, biting your lip and breathing harshly through your nose. His fingers pick up a pace and you’re desperate, legs spreading to allow him better access.

“God,” he whispers into your ear, making you shiver. “I wish I could kneel down and eat you right now. I bet you taste so good.”

He’s filthy, his words becoming more lascivious as he continues fucking into you. His pace becomes punishing, and you’re sure if someone looked over they could see the rhythmic bounce of the blanket.

“F-fuck,” you manage. He’s curling his fingers just right, and the metal of his rings is cold and slick from the wetness spilling from you.

“You wanna cum for me, baby?” He asks, kissing your lips quickly. “You wanna cum all over my hand?”

You’re nodding quickly, trying to keep your eyes open to watch for any sign of being caught, but the thrill is forcing them closed.

“Yes, please,” you’re begging and trying so hard to maintain your low whisper. Breathing is even harder now as you feel your body reacting to his powerful fingers thrusting into you. The coil inside you is so near snapping it nearly hurts.

“So polite, baby,” he caresses your ear with a lave of his tongue. “Let go for me, pet. Let me see you cum on me in the middle of this plane.”

It seems as if you’re programmed to obey, and your body reacts in accord to his demands. The coil snaps and your cunt is convulsing around his fingers. Taehyung plasters his lips against yours to muffle your moaning, while coaxing your walls with his fingers to continue pulsing around him.

It takes a moment to come down, and Tae pulls away from your lips which leaves you breathless.

“Fuck, you’re the hottest person I’ve literally ever met,” he sighs. “I’d marry you right now if I could.”

You blush as you pant hard, feeling your wetness slip down your core to the leather seat underneath you. You grimace at the feeling and Tae smirks. He pops his slick finger into his mouth to clean it, maintaining constant eye contact with you, before he slips it out and presses the call flight attendant button.

Your eyes widen and you’re squirming to make sure the blanket covers you. Taehyung looks like the picture of professionalism as the elderly attendant comes to your row.

“Hi, my wife spilled her drink. Could we get some extra napkins?”

The attendant nods and slips away, leaving you with your blown senses and quivering legs. She’s back in an instant with a stack of napkins and Taehyung smiles sweetly at you.

“Let me help you, babe,” he grins. “You’re so clumsy, it’s adorable.” His hand slips back between your thighs, wiping at the mess he wrought out of you, before his fingers dance on your clit yet again.

The 15 hour flight may be the best and most torturous one yet.

By the time the plane lands on American soil, you’ve orgasmed 4 times at the hand of Taehyung. You’ve also managed to give him a ferocious handjob that left some questionable stains on the airline provided blanket, and taken a nap in his embrace.

It’s single-handedly the weirdest flight you’ve ever taken but definitely your favorite.

Tae walks next to you as you exit the plane, hand in hand. You don’t know what the fuck is happening but you’re feeling as if you’ve just been crowned queen of England.

“So, my wife,” Taehyung jokes. He kept the marriage roleplay up the whole flight, even regaling the once-sleeping man next to him with stories of how you met and where you got married. The whole scenario had you completely flustered and heart fluttering anxiously as he described how beautiful you were on your wedding day.

“I need to stop at the bathroom. Would you care to come with and watch my luggage?” He asks you, eyebrow raising suggestively.

You’re silent for a moment, but notice his growing smirk.

“Of course, darling,” you play. He squeezes your hand in response and drags you to the closest private bathroom he can find.

It’s not big and it’s definitely seen better cleaning, but you don’t care as soon as Tae’s lips cover yours the moment the door closes. All luggage is dropped and you’re throwing your arms around his neck. He holds you tight and lifts you up slightly.

“God, I wanted to kiss you like that the whole flight,” he sighs after pulling away. “I also wanted to fuck your tight little cunt until you can’t walk straight.”

“What’s stopping you, husband?” You tease as you press your hips to his.

He growls with appreciation as he lunges forward to kiss you again, teeth nipping at your lips and tongue swirling around your mouth.

“That’s my dirty little girl,” he whispers as he tugs the shirt you’re wearing off your body. “Someone loves getting fucked where anyone could walk in.”

You allow the fabric to fall to the ground, before you’re attaching your lips to his face, kissing and sucking down his neck. His skin tastes salty and sweet, and you’re desperate to lick every inch.

“Mmm, my little exhibitionist,” he slaps your ass and the sting elicits a gasp from you. “I bet your cute pussy is still dripping wet from earlier.” He pushes you against the cold tile of the wall. “Let me see please?”

You nod as he kisses your lips one last time, then descends to his knees and pulls your leggings and hopelessly soiled panties with him. You’re sure your core is drenched. The man made you cum more times in one flight than you had in most of your hookups, and that was from his fingers alone.

“Shit,” he gasps as you step out of the leggings and expose your drenched folds. “This is the prettiest little pussy I’ve ever seen. Still so wet from my fingers.”

He drags a digit through and pops it into his mouth, savoring the taste. You’re whimpering, worried your legs will give out from all blood rushing to your cunt.

“I dreamed I got to wake you up from our nap by eating you out,” he admits as he pulls your folds apart and licks his lips at the sight of your clit. “I want to wake up between your thighs.”

Any chance for retort is cut off, throat going dry as he pushes his tongue against your bundle of nerves, already overstimulated from an orgasm-filled flight. He laps at it, swirling around it vulgarly before dipping lower to fuck his tongue into you.

“I could fucking drink you.”

Tae isn’t shy with words, that is a fact you’re now very aware of. He commentates the entire thing, whispering his desires as he fucks his tongue in you and suckles at your clit.

“Tae, oh god,” you sigh. Your pussy has never been more pleasured in your short life, and in such a short time period.

“Fuck, I love it when you say my name,” he whispers with a particularly rough lick to the hood of your clit. “I wanna make you cum on my tongue but I need to fuck you before my cock explodes.”

“Yes, please, need you!” You whine needily and he slurps you one last time before he slips back up to level with you.

You assist him in undoing his jeans and he whips his stiff cock out.

“I want to suck you off,” you murmur as you stare at the head dripping with pre-cum.

“Oh Christ,” he gasps and tilts his head back. “I want that too but I’m so desperate to be inside you, baby. Next time.” He smirks.

He’s lining himself up, kissing your nose and lips and face as he pushes into you.

It feels like the culmination of all your desire and passion. You’re finally full of him after 15 hours of his delicious foreplay and nothing has ever felt more satisfying than his push into your drenched channel. He feels as if he slots right into you perfectly, pussy walls molding around him like a puzzle piece you didn’t realize was missing.

“Holy shit babe,” he groans. “Sweetest little pussy I’ve ever felt.” His voice sounds dreamy, and his grip on your hips tightens. “Shit, I could get used to this.”

You’re whimpering with want, desperate to feel his cock thrusting inside you.

“Need you, Tae. Please fuck me.”

He’s quick to comply, slowly pulling his length out before slamming it back in, eliciting a loud sob from your lips. His cock slipping and fucking into you is the best feeling and you feel like you’ve injected the drug that is Tae directly into your veins.

Taehyung keeps his filthy monologue running as he ruts into you.

“You feel so good, little one,” he gasps. “So wet and tight for me.”

The tip of his cock bumps against your cervix, jolting you with each thrust. You wish you could take him deeper, so deep he never leaves.

“Gonna cum on my cock, aren’t you?” he asks as he tugs on your nipple. “Fuck, I want you to cum.”

His lips move to suck at your neck, and your hands claw harsh red lines down his back. Your insides feel like lava, hot and boiling and ready to burn you down instantly.

“P-please, so fucking close,” you weep. You’re sure you’ll never get fucked as good as you are right now, never feel as satisfied as you have over the last 15 hours. You’re desperate for everything and you want more, more.

“Yeah, fuck, cum for me little slut. Let the airport hear you get railed!”

Your back is arching into him and he picks up the speed and power. Wet skin slapping on skin echoes around the bathroom like music and your combined sighs and moans are the lyrics to a song only you and Taehyung could create.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming!” You scream. “Tae! Fuck Tae! Tae!” You chant his name like a prayer, devoting your orgasmic bliss to the deity pounding into you. He growls ferally, the sweet litany of his name bringing him right to the edge.

Your cunt pulsates around him, gripping his cock and sucking him in. He shudders a gasp as he feels himself unravel completely by the feel of your completion. He pulls out quickly and jerks himself to the end, cum splattering all over your stomach and tits. He whines your name as it lands on your skin, and he wishes he could see this every single day.

It takes you both a few seconds to breathe again, clinging to each other like long lost lovers.

Tae smiles down at your cum covered stomach. “Messy.”

“Seems like your wife isn’t the only clumsy one,” you wink. You drag your finger through the viscous liquid and lick it into your mouth. Taehyung groans.

“Shit you’re gonna get me ready for round 2 and I’ve got a taxi to catch in 5 minutes.”

He presses against you and kisses you, uncaring about the wetness pressing in between stomachs.

“That was the best flight I’ve ever taken in my life,” he sighs as you both unlatch and begin the process of dressing again.

You blush like a cherry and nod. “I only want to fly with that kind of accommodation from now on.”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “We could make that happen.”

“Yeah?” You ask as you slip back into your slide sandals. “You want to see me again?”

“Are you fucking kidding?” He hops on one foot to slip his own shoes on. “I’d fucking fly 15 hours again just to be with you.”

Hope blooms in your chest, thankful that for some reason he seems as interested in continuing as you are. You press towards him again and kiss him deeply, tongue slipping past his lips to demonstrate your desire.

“Call me?” You ask. He nods in a daze.

Your phone is ringing incessantly, reminding you that your best friend is waiting outside the airport and wondering where you are. You have to leave and you find it hard to say goodbye.

“Thank you for flying Kim Taehyung airlines,” he jokes as you grab your luggage and open the bathroom door.

You choke on your laughter and blow a kiss, then push forward and leave behind the gorgeous and confident man of 14B in the bathroom.

It’s not until an hour later when you settle into your hotel bed that you notice an instagram message.

vante 12:45 am: let’s meet tonight. let me show you first class 😉

-2 years later-

The dash from the chapel to the airport is ridiculously quick. You barely have enough time to change out of your white gown and slip into something comfortable, wave goodbye to the friends and family gathered in your honor, and slide into a taxi towards the international terminals.

Tae holds your hand with a grin. He’s just as tired as you but you both can’t hold back your excitement, your awe of each other, elated by the events of the day and the thrill of the unknown future. He kisses you deeply during the taxi ride, uncaring about the way the driver eyes you two. Kissing Tae will never get old, you think, and you’re struck by the way he makes you feel each time his lips press to yours.

His hands linger on your body, then slips to tangle your fingers together, diamond ring slipping against his smooth metal one. He wants to kiss you more, take you there in the backseat, but you’re pulling up to the terminal before you know it and being tugged out of the backseat with your luggage in tow.

Check in is a breeze, and you’re suddenly sitting at the waiting area of the gate—nose in a book as Taehyung sits beside you and fiddles with the luggage and boarding passes.

“Wow, you’re really cute,” he speaks after moments of silence. He peers at you over the book.

You lower it to your lap with a sly grin.

“I think I need to use the bathroom.” He says. The sparkle in his eyes sends shocks through you, as if it’s the first time you’re seeing him again. “Care to assist me with my luggage?”

You can’t fight the giggle and blush that polishes your cheeks.

“Lead the way, husband.”

#maknaesmutsociety #bangtanarmynet #ficswithluv #ksmutclub #btswriterscollective #heartsforbts #bts smut #bts fic #bts taehyung #bts v #taehyung smut #kim taehyung #V taehyung #maknae line smut #bangtan smut

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faorism · 3 years

Text

@lookatallthefandoms #*leans forward with my chin in my hands* tell me more op [eliot crawls back verse. sequel to this post]

eventually, nate and sophie and quinn (yeah, lets do this, its quinn, yall got me on this train, hope you're happy) find out the extent to which parker and hardison have fallen into it with that weird fucking hitter guy that was supposed to be a scary lieutenant to the big bad but who is now nerfed into redemption arc prospect stalker aka zuko 2.0. eliot is in town but seeing how small a space the wyatt funeral home is he just chills around across the street and idk hes doing morally corrupt hr training via 2011 era zoom so he isnt monitoring the comms closely/at all.

then he gets a call. its a strange number, but he's kinda used to that around the leverage targets but a call is rare. usually only because his darling wants to really sell a grift. eliot picks it up.

hey, what's—

eliot? and oh, hardison's voice is so so small.

hey, hey what's wrong?

inside the wrist holster. hollowed out—hardison?—thickest part of leather. press the earbud once. don't yell.

and then hardison hangs up. eliot immediately calls back. hardison (because its hard to press them little buttons when the phone is vibrating in his hand) picks up.

the fuck is going on, man.

please, eliot. i need... i need fsskskk. i need her, please—sssfkkks, i need...

oh and hardison is panicking and eliot goes to soothing because that's all he can do, but he's so out of practice he doesnt pull a caretaking voice. he is a fucking scumbag that knows killing and fucking so he just pulls that voice he uses when he's got a Nice Normal Girl underneath him who needs to be cooed into the surprise of her orgasm. okay, okay sweetheart. and there, in that moment, hardison gets His Nickname. im sorry. get you our girl.

holster.

got it.

please.

okay. okay, goodbye.

and eliot kinda just... appears in the dinner bathroom in the span of a blink and he's tearing off his jacket and he's ripping at his knife holster on his forearm, not even wanting to free the knife from the release mechanism because that would take longer than his bare hands and his teeth. he releases the bud and he sticks it into his ear and he's hears a cacophony.

and there's ford who says: —have wanted you to contact us to arrange a trade. Did you get his number?

he can barely hear the reply, but he knows that terror. hardison: yeah, yeah. texting it right now.

sophie: could he be just hidden?

quinn: no. actually more suspicious that way unless they got the hearse, but they might abandon that. but i wouldnt bothering burying a guy too deep.

and oh. oh god.

a casket's got 30 minutes of air, eliot says into the void of the bathroom stall, but this time there's a response. several. angry and confused and hostile but, two voices fed relief into the mix.

blondie: stop. he's ours. eliot, what would you do?

eliot: darling, he's a loose end. no trade is worth it. whatever they're telling you is a lie. hardison hiccups his distress (i cant hear him, is he talking?). we have to find him.

and its pretty much the same after that but with nate biting out We Will Talk About This and quinn being super overprotective like These People Are Mine And You Are Dangerous and sophie oh sophie! sophie heard hardison's little sorry about the holster and the hitter's no youre not and parker repeating his words to hardison before adding ill steal you a nicer one and the hitter saying my tack guy made this special [eliot's tack guy credit to old dog & new tricks, which are canon to me] and parker repeating it and hardison's wet and desperate laugh.

and eliot leaves the beating up guys to quinn like He Leaves That To Quinn before he Needs to get to hardison. and it should be weird that this random stalker guy is the one to pull hardison up out the grave but he does and he holds him tight and tells him what he always does, dont do that again. it should be and it kinda it but god, it fits it fits it fits.

and there's definitely fallout eventually but nate (by way of sophie) actually gives hardison and blondie some space, and also eliot is there? and i think that the stalking back of eliot sped up their pretzels because they are United In The Plan To Steal Eliot so they live together (though they have separate rooms rn because they are still figuring each other out) and eliot is just. there.

and blondie has put on wraith of khan for hardison but he quickly falls asleep on eliot's shoulder with his hand in blondie's. and eliot is just sitting there like, darling... i dont know what im doing here.

and blondie laughs and skips over the bulk of his confession to be like, did you not hear my name?

and he's like, i did. but i dont steal intimacy.

and blondie is like. oh. its parker. but darling is still good.

and eliot nods and he is Utterly Over His Head.

#eliot spencer #parker leverage #alec hardison #leverage #leverage ot3 #faorism headcanons #on his hands and knees au

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