#Who keeps letting the geese in the building

[thetrashqueeeen]

the hunger games is having a resurgence and i’m back on my bullshit so i thought i would post what i always imagined the rest of effie’s life looked like

she stays in the capitol to begin with. katniss was shocked when she saw them kiss, but was hastily shut up by haymitch when she teased him and they never really spoke about effie much after that. effie called haymitch once a week, filling him in on the rebuilding efforts, her rapidly blooming social life, new fashion trends, inter-district moving and the latest in geese rearing tips(i’m a goose apologist here he keeps geese ok). he can tell something is off but he doesn’t realise how much of it is outright lies

effie wakes in the mornings screaming, the pain of whatever torture she was reliving rapidly dissolving as her bedroom sharpened into focus. She rarely leaves her apartment. she watches them rebuild from her window, her heart racing when unexpected bangs and crashes come from construction sites. she gets up later and later each day, sometimes not bothering to get out of bed at all. when she can’t face the nightmares, she goes to the roof of her building and screams off the edge until her voice is hoarse. she tells haymitch that she’s been out partying when she calls. her neighbourhood gets a reputation for being haunted, people say you can still hear the rebels screaming at night. her old friends are mostly dead and the ones that aren’t can’t face the memory of her as much as she can’t face the memory of them. they do try for a while, pretending that everything is fine for as long as they can ignore the frenzied fear right under the surface. the cocoon her life has become feels suffocating but ultimately comforting. she tells herself she’s fine, that this is fine. she doesn’t know why she lies to him when she calls.

she lasts a year. one afternoon, she’s on the phone with haymitch and he’s telling her about katniss and peeta. they’ve just gotten engaged for real and he’s chattering on about them in the way he does when he lets his guard down. his voice is so comforting and so nice and so homely that her heart clenches and her hand grips the phone so tightly the plastic nearly buckles in her grip. she closes her eyes so the only thing entering her brain is his voice. when they get off the phone she throws her favourite things into a suitcase, showers and gets dressed in actual clothes for the first time all week and walks to the train station before she can think about it too hard. the days she spends on the train pass quickly and she steps onto the platform at 12 in the middle of a deluge. she trudges over to victors village, her suitcase clattering over muddy paving stones. she steps into the square of victors village in the pouring rain, looking sullen, tired and thinner than when anyone last saw her. she’s filled with sudden unease, and stands still, not sure she has the nerve to go and bash on his door. she feels much too old for this, much to old to run away from her life without telling anyone, for a man who didn’t even invite her. she’s freezing. peeta notices her and goes to invite her in, but katniss stops him, seeing haymitch has set out to meet her in the square. as he gets closer he notices she looks like shit. she’s not dressed for the rain and her clothes cling to her depressingly, her hair is plastered to her face and she looks about as tired as he feels. she’s stood with her arms crossed tightly, looking like she might cry. he wraps his arms around her cold, sodden frame and it takes her a second, but she wriggles her arms out from between them and wraps her arms around his neck, stepping closer. they might be too old for this, but she can’t deny this is better than whatever she was doing before. he doesn’t kiss her there; it still feels too alien to not hide.

the next morning, effie pulls one of haymitch’s porch chairs to the edge of the veranda and basks in the rising sun, allowing it to warm her all the way through. he comes out with coffee an hour or so later, remembering she missed it in 13. peeta comes over to say hello and effie finally feels her heart slow down.

she gets used to the rhythms of 12. she did worry that too much time had passed for them, but they fall back together as they’re meant to. they bicker and debate through barely suppressed smiles and finally offer the overt support the other has always needed. when haymitch gets up to feed the geese at first light, he leaves her in bed alone and she rolls into the warm spot he leaves. he makes her coffee when he’s done and says it’s because he’d never hear the end of it if he didn’t. in reality he just can’t imagine not getting to see her lift her bleary head off the pillow, her blonde hair mused and her eyes flickering open. her hair is one of the things he loves the most. he teases her about her ‘lotions and potions’ but he spends hours running his hands through her hay-coloured waves. she lets it grow down to her shoulders for the first time since her baby hair was chopped off for wigs. she starts growing produce in the back garden. the first time katniss sees her, hair tied back with a patterned scarf, wearing dungarees and chunky boots, she laughs out loud so hard that effie’s in a huff with her for a whole week. she offers an apology only because her wedding simply will not happen without effie planning it.

one day, she gets up as soon as she hears haymitch go out the back door in the morning. she dresses in a baggy t-shirt and bright dungarees (she tries her best not to link the bright dungarees that being her so much joy to grey jumpsuits) and makes coffee for them both. he startles when he finds her at the kitchen table, but she just asks him if he knew she had a degree from capitol university. he didn’t. she tells him she wants to teach children in the school house and expects him to laugh. he does a little bit, but then tells he she’ll be fantastic and admired her as she marched out the door to go and talk to the head teacher. they start her out easy, but the children adore her funny accent, soft hair and bright clothes. she adores them all right back. effie has a gaggle of small children running around her for all of the wedding and katniss looks over her the entire day, smiling at her and haymitch playing with them all. peeta had been slowly beginning to raise the idea of a family, but katniss had been shutting it down forcibly every time. she walks over to peeta at the reception and draws his attention to the large game of tag effie was participating in. as haymitch starts hefting kids over his shoulder shouting ‘the monster’s coming’ katniss tells him she wants their first daughter to be called primrose, not prim- never prim, but primrose. they’ll be great surrogate grandparents, she tells him.

effie adores little Finnick from the moment he’s born. haymitch also adores the baby, but is much less willing to show it. katniss pretends to not notice he still shakes sometimes and he pretends he doesn’t only hold him when he’s sat down. a few years later, finnick is joined by primrose who is just as beautiful as her namesake. as soon as finnick is old enough to go to school, effie insists on teaching his class every year. once primrose is old enough she trades off each year, trying (and failing) to pretend they’re not her favourite. finnick trains as a carpenter and every time effie so much as mentions something that needs fixing in the house finnick is there with a toolbox and his father’s smile. primrose grows up in awe of her big brother, the boy who calls her pipsqueak, shared every glass of orange juice he’s ever drunk with her and copies her maths homework every days she can remember. when he starts his own business, she starts to keep his accounts. it’s the summer she turns 15. she carries on absorbing knowledge like a sponge, retaining every fact, theorem and topic effie gifts her with. effie is the first person she tells when she applies for a scholarship at capitol university. her mother is the first person she tells when she gets it. katniss cries soft, bittersweet tears when primrose tells her she’s going to study medicine at the big university in the capitol. effie hugs her so hard on the platform as she gets the train that she thinks she might snap. katniss is so happy that her children are no longer the children of the last victors. they are the carpenter and the doctor. they have never once chopped their dreams off at the knees just in case they get reaped. katniss and peeta cry at her loss, sure she will only return to visit. finnick and effie do not cry, they know she’s coming back. she comes back with a woman in tow, but she comes back none the less. effie plans her marriage to the woman they come to know as Evie. finnick gets married just a year after they do, and he and his wife have so many children, haymitch jokes they should start a football team.

effie and haymitch don’t get anywhere near as long as they deserve, but they do get 25 good years. haymitch is older than she is, and his body has been through a lot. when she pleads with him to go to the capitol for treatment, he begs her to understand why he can never go back there, and she finds she does. he passes in his own bed, with his wife laying next to him, stroking his hair with quiet reverence. the last thing he hears is her whispering quietly that she loves him more than anything. that she would go through all of it again for just one more day.

when haymitch is gone, effie retires from the school house and spends as much time as she can with katniss, peeta, finnick, primrose and their various broods. she fully expects to die of a broken heart, she considers it only right. she thinks often of the tired, scared woman who stood in the rain waiting for him. she does not die of a broken heart, much to her annoyance. she doesn’t even grow much weaker with age. she keeps the geese until the last one dies and never stops growing food in her garden. one hot day in summer, the whole family go down to the meadow to bask in the heat and watch the children play. ‘this is the life a victor deserves’ she tells katniss as they watch finnick and primrose play with the children. she lays down in the sun to have a nap, resting her head on katniss’s lap. she hears the children screech with laughter, she feels the warm sun on her skin and she passes quickly, her last breathe quiet and unnoticed. haymitch is waiting for her when she gets there.

#the hunger games #hayffie #everlark #they got a victors life in the end #haymitch x effie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark

[apomaro-mellow]

From this post about Eddie controlling the demobats

When Eddie returned, so did the bats. In a great blast of cracking concrete and flapping wings, they emerged like a storm right in the middle of main street. The people of Hawkins, who were still getting over the earthquake, had run inside every nearest building, waiting for the revenge of the man they had hunted down.

Eddie had simply taken one long look at their cowering faces through the windows, and then walked off. The horde of bats followed closely behind him. They were still just as menacing in the daylight but they never strayed to pick off a helpless human.

So Eddie was back. Good news!

The bats were also top side. Bad news?

Eddie had control over them. Definitely good news.

It was an odd arrangement. It was made less odd by the fact that Eddie didn’t bring them absolutely everywhere. They mostly stayed in a dark cave unless called upon.

At least at first.

It started with small things. These were wild, territorial things and they never backed down or deferred to anyone who wasn’t Eddie. Except for Steve. Eddie had been sitting on a park bench, tossing some food to the geese who dared to get near. The demobats were perched next to him and around his feet, at least a dozen. They were immovable. But as Steve walked up and drew near, they parted and cleared a space for him.

He had staunchly refused to be around the bats at first. He never wanted to give them a taste again. It appeared his worries were for nothing. Because they hadn’t touched him once.

“Do you think they think I’m gross?”, Steve asked as he tossed to the birds. “I mean, they chomped us both up but they obviously like you better.”

“Why? Is the king jealous?”, Eddie teased, flashing his fangs in a grin.

“I’m just saying you’d think they’d have better taste. No offense, but I’m basically prime rib and you’re just some beef jerky.”

Eddie scoffed in offense despite Steve saying no offence. “Robin is right, you’re a total meat head sometimes. Tell me Steve, when you’re on an hours long road trip and need somethin’ to keep you going, do you just fork a whole steak while driving? Or do you stop at a 7-Eleven for a Slim Jim?”

“You’re just proving my point at how slender you are compared to me.”

While he and Steve traded barbs it would’ve been clear to anyone who made the connection between Eddie and the bats that he wasn’t offended at all. But no one had made the connection yet.

--------------------------------------

It was one of those days where a bunch of things had simply lined up and everyone was in the same place. Hopper was fixing his car with the help of Jonathan, Mike, and Max. Joyce was merrily cleaning the house and even rearranging the furniture with the assistance of El, Steve, and Eddie. Robin, Dustin, and Erica were posing for a painting outside for Will. Argyle and Lucas were sitting on the porch, talking about California.

As usual, Eddie’s command for the bats was to stay in the cave. Even if the others knew they wouldn’t be attacked, they still didn’t feel totally comfortable with them around. But throughout the day, a few at a time had appeared, making the roof their perch.

“Should we be worried about those?”, Argyle asked, pointing towards the sky.

Hopper looked up from the hood and let out an exasperated sigh. “If they cause trouble we can handle ‘em. Mike, oil.”

Eddie looked out the window and cursed under his breath, making El pause as she moved the couch.

“It’s fine. Nothing. I guess I’d get stir crazy in a cave all day too. Aren’t bats supposed to be nocturnal?”

“They’re not exactly normal bats”, Steve grunted as he pushed the fridge into its new position.

Eddie bit his lip as he watched the way his arm flexed a little and right then a demobat face planted into the kitchen window.

Joyce whipped her head. “What was that?”

“Nothing!”, Eddie rushed to cover his tracks. “There’s always one that’s a little uh, new to their wings, you know?”

Their need to follow Eddie was beginning to be a problem. Because they only seemed to disobey when he was with Steve. When Eddie was by himself, they stayed put. But the moment Harrington was in the picture, these little monster shits had to be there. And if anyone ever realized that, his cover would be blown.

--------------------------

Eddie thought he’d been keeping a good handle on things all considered. That is until one bat decided to have a personal vendetta against him. Eddie had been calm, cool, and collected while he and Steve hung out by the quarry. A couple of bats had joined them as usual. But Eddie kept a straight face about it.

And then their bull session turned to serious talk. About what the future held for them after this. About how they’d never be able to leave this town. About how it felt like no one would need them.

Eddie was quick to shoot down that part for Steve. This man was like the air he breathed and if there was ever a day that Steve wasn’t in the world, that would be it for him. That’s not what he said though.

“People need you more than you think. Just cause we don’t say it, doesn’t mean we’re not thinking it.”

“Dude, we’re about a six pack in, too many negatives.”

“I’m saying we all want you here. Even if we don’t need you to hold our hand, isn’t that enough?”

Steve’s eyes softened. “They need you too. I can’t even describe how they all-how we were while you were gone. We need you just as much Eddie.”

And then one of the bats, those traitorous bats, sidled right up to Steve and nuzzled its ugly little head into Steve’s side like a pitiful dog and Eddie could’ve cried. At least he did internally.

‘Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo what are you doiiiiiiiiiiing????’

Steve was visibily nervous at first because that was the same area he’d been eaten but the bat didn’t put its mouth anywhere near and simply rubbed its cheek to his torso.

“Hey, hehe”, he laughed a little when it was clear he wasn’t being attacked. “I think they like me now.”

“You don’t say”, Eddie breathed out in a strained, punched out voice.

That incident was enough for Eddie to have a heart to heart with his group of followers. He paced around the mouth of the cave while the bats sat on the ground at attention.

“Okay, here’s the deal guys. You can’t keep stalking Steve like this. I get it, trust me. But if people start to catch on to what I’m feeling because you guys keep. Making. It. Obvious. Then we’ve got an angry mob on our hands again.”

Eddie felt like he was talking to a pack of puppies because that’s exactly how they looked right now and didn’t these things kill him before? He couldn’t believe he’d ever been afraid of them.

The talk did nothing though. They still left the cave in the middle of the day to find him and Steve together and were getting more and more affectionate as the days went by.

And somehow Steve just got more comfortable with it. Nancy had them in her garage, teaching the two of them how to clean a gun and a demobat was honest to god (was there a god up there? If there was, he was getting his giggles in) snuggling up in Steve’s hair. In his hair! The crown that Eddie dared not touch. He had never been more jealous or mortified.

“Those things really like you Steve”, Nancy mentioned.

Eddie was mentally begging her to not be a sleuth for once.

“I think they’re just realizing which of us would’ve been the better boss based on flavor.”

“On the flavor?”, Eddie and Nancy deadpanned in unison, also giving him twin looks of judgement.

“Nancy how you’d ever date this guy? It’s like he’s got beef for brains.”

Nancy shrugged. “I guess I’m just a little carnivorous. I think we’ve got that in common”, she said, giving Eddie a meaningful look.

Outwardly, his throat bobbed. Inwardly, he was screaming from the edge of a cliff. Still his feelings for Steve trumped any panic that Nancy Wheeler might know his feelings because the demobat just burrowed deeper in his hair.

Eddie cleared his throat. “Yeah”, he admitted. “I’m pretty carnivorous. Maybe a little too much. That bother you?”

Nancy shook her head quickly. “To tell you the truth...I might be....”, she hesitated on the words. “Going vegetarian.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up while Steve was on another page entirely.

“Vegetarian? Nancy you’ll never survive in this town, everyone cooks with bacon grease or lard.”

“Well it’s more like, I’m omnivorous but I might be trying to add more vegetables to my diet”, she amended. “Does that bother you Eddie?”

“I’m in no position to argue Big Wheel. I’ve been circling your steak like a vulture.”

“I haven’t looked at that steak in ages. You can have it. Not that you need my permission.”

“I get the feeling you guys aren’t talking about food anymore”, Steve said.

And Eddie just couldn’t resist that confused face Steve made. But the moment wasn’t right to reveal his and Nancy’s ahem, dietary preferences. So he just patted him on the shoulder.

“We just agree with the bats man. You’re pretty tasty. Even if not all of us are getting bites in anymore.”

“Oh that reminds me”, Steve said. “We weren't able to get you a blood bag. I kinda dropped the ball. So tonight you can just drink of me.”

At least five bats descended and inched their way towards Steve like desperately hungry animals and Eddie had to stop them in their place.

“Looks like steak’s on the menu tonight”, Nancy commented.

Part 2

#apo writes #fanfiction #stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #kas!eddie

[ruumirmir]

𝘈 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘛𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴

Part I Part II

ੈ♡˳ Author's◇ note - Haha what if I pretended my shamelessly OCfied male reader was a character :))) Here's to me doing everything possible to build up my "reader" lore. Everything except actually drawing and naming him 😭 If you're curious about previous posts regarding my mans, you could skim over These!! Me when writing this: im gonna make up SO MUCH BULLSHIT about snezhnaya and the other harbingers.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 : ENG - Stephen Fu (Noe Archiviste from Vanitas no Carte) JP - Kento Ito (Dan Heng from Honkai Star Rail)

𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 : October 19 (Libra)

𝘈𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Northland Bank of the Fatui

𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Hydro

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Cygnus Venatici (The Hunting Swan)

A senior branch manager of Snezhnaya’s Northland bank. As a fatuus, he is formally well-known as the Venator Dux, who mans the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange founded by the Ninth Harbinger. He hunts in pursuit of the Tsar's vision, but his loyalties are far removed from her.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦-𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰 Ah, the renowned traveller, in the flesh. A visitor to each of the seven nations, while your reputation has run across the continent twice over. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. If you've heard of the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange, that'd be me who's in charge of it. I am one of the agents within Lord Regrator's primary circle of officials, so you may address me as Venator dux.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 I've been in my respective position for over a decade now, and for the last four years, have come across choice tales surrounding your name. A big fan of your work, really! Lord Regrator has had his interest piqued for a while now... so for the sake of civilized peace and alliance, let's get along... shall we? Try not to cause any trouble and I might consider putting in a good word for you.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘋𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘴 A large bulk of my work is centered around days of scrawling pen over paper... but really, one can only digest hefty documents for so long. I've had my fill for many years on end-... now, I'd prefer to partake in more physical tasks.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 I fear the new batch of rookies are growing too lax in their combat training… perhaps it was my uninspiring teaching method today. As a Venator, it simply won’t do to disappoint them. Traveller, would you help a man out and join the session today? The trainees could do with a fresh perspective on things.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴

No shelter to be seen... here's to praying that you don't catch a cold. Oh don't worry about me, I seldom get sick.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 I've always wondered how the real clap of thunder would feel in comparison to a shock of electro. Unless you want to volunteer for that, watch your step.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘚𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 Eh... I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousand times. That being said, the nights that are covered in an impossibly slow curtain of snowfall are some of the rarer times I stop to admire it.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘯 𝘐𝘴 𝘖𝘶𝘵 Finally. Some real warmth to my face. I am but a simple man, languishing like a wilted flower in the absence of our sun's blazing gaze.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 Actually... I think I might just prefer the miserable winter cold over this.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘐𝘴 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 What's with the aggressive breeze today? Does the Anemo archon have bills to pay?

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Good morning. I was about to stop by the city lake on my way to the bank and feed the local geese. You can come along if you'd like. Keep your distance from Tatiana though. She bites.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯 On a slow lazy day, I'd be waking up around noon. Fortunately, the weekend is right around the corner, so I can do just that.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Although the Northland "bank" closes to the public by evening, the building itself stays open till midnight for other classified affairs. So I may as well make the most of my break time before I'm needed again.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 Oh, I must've lost track of time. It's quite late into the night, so before I go, let me walk you back to whatever establishment you're staying at... Oh, uh- I'm... not sure I heard you correctly. You said you live... inside... a teapot...?

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘚𝘯𝘦𝘻𝘩𝘯𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘖𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 It was the very first decree of order at the hands of Lord Regrator when he came into power as a Harbinger many years ago; to inaugurate a faction dedicated to rearing the potential he painstakingly carved into the foundations of the Northland bank. It is just as the name implies. An executive body responsible for developing economic policies and providing regulation, consulting, and forecasting of socioeconomic and business development, ranging from simple roadside shops to production factories-Oh, have I lost you? Haha... don't apologize, I've seen that expression a couple times before. In simple terms: we help run the nation's cycle of mora, trade system, and citizen’s businesses.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘵 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] The title bestowed upon me, Venator Dux, signifies not just leadership but mastery over a successful hunt- or in some cases, a successful business strategy. The master hunter requires a discerning eye, a mind that can decipher the intricate patterns woven by our adversaries. Information is our ammunition, and knowledge is the silent arrow that strikes before the prey even realizes the hunt has begun.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘳𝘵𝘴 Various forms of dance and song are the lifeblood of Snezhnaya’s festivals. During fall, you’ll find multiple dance troupes and clowns passing each village, town, and city to perform. I personally look forward to the dancers.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘓𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘺 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Your little companion has stuck with you since day one? Truly? That is… a highly admirable trait, one that I will always stand by. Loyalty is not a mere pledge, it anticipates the unspoken desires of another; a commitment that transcends the superficial bonds of allegiance. I keep this ideal close to my heart... for only a single person.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 I was hesitant to use a delusion in the first place, so frankly, I’m glad to have been gifted this for whatever reason I was found worthy of. However… Lord Regrator harbours an uncanny dislike for my vision. It’s not something that has been brought up, but I can read between the lines.

𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 You didn’t hear it from me, but I encourage the employees at the bank to keep a list of all the infuriating and rude customers. It’s to spice up all the sparring and combat practice sessions by naming and dressing up the dummies as people they’d like to kick- Ha!

𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 This wintry climate is harsh and unsustainable for various flora and fauna. The Charmomila flower doesn’t care about any of that. They’ll grow in obnoxious places if they want to. The real deal comes from the summer butterflies that feast on its nectar. After a while their wings turn a beautiful honey-yellow, which are harvested and brewed into the sweetest and most expensive nonalcoholic beverage you’ll find around here. I enjoy a glass of one semi-regularly on work mornings.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] He will have my sincere respect, always. Lord Regrator has built his empire up from a scratch in the dirt, something impossible to do were he a lesser man. His sacrifices of blood, sweat, and tears has bled into the policies that the bank stands on today. Money breeds imbalance and power, which in turn grants freedom and recognition if you are on the right side of the coin. Regrator is a utilizing man and he guards what’s his, zealously. He will take and take until his arms sag with the weight, and uphold his promise to give out the correct equivalents because he lets his value of fair exchange lead him like a vice. For as long as he stays true to his greed, I will be the hand that reaches forward to grasp what he desires.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘋𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Lord Regrator expects a strict level of decorousness from everyone working under his name- from me to even the most forgotten grunts. It's nothing outrageous of course. You would only ever see the metaphorical boot-licking than a literal one. I find it a bit much sometimes but the public eye is nothing to scoff at. Especially to a man of his status. The Snezhnayan dvoryane make up more than a third of the Northland Bank's clientele- not to mention the stakes a couple of them have invested. And if there is anything that those feather-headed fools care about, it's posh theatrics. *Sigh* Still... I quite enjoy falling in step with Pantalone's politesse. He has a beautiful manner of speech that I've never been able to measure up to.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘎𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] …Why do I feel like you’re trying to fish for critical information...? Fine- I'll concede. It's your head on the line anyways. Lord Regrator is a big player in the system of underground businesses that connect Nathan and Snezhnaya. Technically it could be called a black market, but it’s mainly run by a small council of social elites from both nations. There are occasional hosted auctions, that my lord targets to buy out priceless artifacts from. I’m talking about lost pieces of history and endangered caged beasts over items with resell value. Now… with that being said, as long as this secret remains safe… so do you. It’s always me who’s dispatched to make sure it stays that way.

#➳❥ Ooh Lover Boy #pantalone #genshin #genshin impact #fatui #fatui harbingers #pantalone genshin #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #pantalone x reader #pantalone x male reader #genshin impact fatui #➳❥ Rumour writes #➳❥ rumour says #genshin imagines

[paladinbaby]

the hunter & the rabbit

robot rebellion, emily axford / true blue, boy genius / the wee free men, terry pratchett / the house on the cerulean sea, tj klune / i worried, mary oliver / @curseworm / wild geese, mary oliver / @romanceyourdemons / lucy dacus on her song christine / why be happy when you could be normal, jeanette winterson

[Image Description: Ten images of text, mostly black on a white background except the last which is a photo of a book page in low light. The images alternate being one or two to a row.

1: “we can run, we can run, we can run / and it’ll be a race, just you and me / cause they can’t keep up with their metal feet / we can hide, we can hide, we can hide / and you can build a fire in a cave / and i can conjure shadows for a play

cause i am not afraid to die / long as you’re here by my side”

2: “Because it doesn’t matter anymore / Who won the fight? / I don’t know, we’re not keeping score / And it feels good to be known so well”

3: “He said it was better to belong where you don’t belong that not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.”

4: “When something is broken, you can put it back together. It may not fit quite the same, or work like it did once before, but that doesn’t mean it’s no longer useful.”

5: “Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven, / can I do better?”

6: “im extremely devout but nobody can figure out what im worshipping”

7: “You do not have to be good. / You do not have to walk on your knees / for a hundred miles repenting. / You only have to let the soft animal of your body / love what it loves. / Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. / Meanwhile the world goes on.”

8: “i love when a character has something terrible happen to them and as a result they can only see themself as, essentially if not literally, a ghost. and so that means they only can (and have to) do what ghosts do, ie get revenge and then cease to exist. easy as that. but then halfway through this ghost vengeance they realise hey actually i might still be a human person. with human needs. that’s incredibly inconvenient, considering how much i’ve invested in this whole ghost thing”

9: “She was dating this guy who at the time was just not treating her right, and I played her the song. I was like, ‘I just want you to hear this once. I’ll put it away, but you should know that I would not support you if you get married. I don’t think this is the best you could do.’ She took it to heart, but she didn’t actually break up with the guy. They’re still together and he’s changed and I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel they’re in better place, but at the time it felt very urgent to me that she get out of that situation.”

10: “I was hurt. / It is never too late to learn to love. / But it is frightening.” End ID.]

#litstack #web weaving #personal #c: lost township #onion #oh onion Brandi #i love them so so much

[monsterfloofs]

Hiram (Vampire) x Anonymous Reader (Sfw)

There was a small village on the edge of forestry, where lore persisted with a ravenous ferocity. In this age of the pursuit of science rather than romantic fancy, it was strange to live amongst others that held these beliefs close to their hearts.

If cattle would go missing, no searches or ordeals were made. The residents whispering in hushed tones to one another with a fearfulness in their eyes. Gaze lingering towards the tree line and skies, waiting for some impossible monstrocity to emerge and storm into the village.

The fear grew at night especially, with parents gathering their children into tight protective bundles. Snatching crying babes who protested, who only wanted to be outside one moment more. The whole village fleeing into the safety of their homes, windows slamming closed, doors bolting. The sound of locks turning.

And perhaps the strangest peculiarity of them all. The fear of the man that owned the land they lived upon. Duke Hiram Noctem, the same man you worked for serving as his gardener. Perhaps the only reason you were given such an esteemed job as to work upon his land, is that no other in town dared to enter the forest. A thrilling prospect that you later deemed to be incredibly boring.

The morning was chilled and the sky bright. Gathering your tools and supplies into your wheelbarrow, after donning a wide brimmed hat.

A group of children were swinging an old rope, with two kids holding onto each of the rope ends. While a child in the middle jumped over it as it passed beneath their feet. They chanted a rhyme as the rope swung round and round.

Up in the castle

Decrepit with decay

Homes a monstrous figure

They live here still to-day

Fingers like daggers

Teeth like knives

They come a strollin' in at dusk

To take fools lives

Lock up your livestock

Hide all your kits

Lock up your family

Tick, tick, tick

You scowl at the poem, half a mind to send the children scattering like geese into the field. It would be better then letting them stand around reciting such a dreadful rhyme. A whoop of joy passed through the playing kids, and the child in the middle danced at the completion of the rhyme.

You decide perhaps that going around chasing children would not put you into the town's good graces. People have been giving you a wide berth ever since you began working up at the castle on the hill.

You can hear mutterings, murmurings, you even found that one of your goodly neighbors had placed a wreath of allium flowers upon your door. The pink and purple round garlic flowers were sought to be protection from devils. In a bout of annoyance you had unceremoniously flung the wreath inside your home to deal with later.

No one had come to talk with you, or speak about the gift. You yourself were unsure if the gesture was one to protect you, or to protect the town from you. At the very least, the town still let the children play unattended. No one took them by the hand or pointed you out.

With that knowledge you did your best to keep your eyes downcast, and mind your own business. Hefting the wheelbarrow aloft and trudging along the cobblestone path as a new child jumped into the skipping game and the chant began again.

The woods were quiet and peaceful, listening to the sounds of birds. The old castle that was referenced in the children's poem was nothing like its true description. Not crumbling or in disarray, but well kept, with ivy that climbed up its stoney sides, and the most curious of gardens, where the plants all thrived with brilliant green foliage, but did not bloom. The petals lay tightly closed under the heat of the sun.

There was a path you took to get into the garden from the side of the building, but it was customary for you to take breaks on the long stone steps and sweeping stone banister just before the grandiose entrance that led inside the castle walls.

Today, you found a letter left for you outside on the banister. A carefully folded envelope, as well as a glass of lemonade which you indulged in as you opened the paper flap.

"Thank you for all that you have done. The garden has been thriving more beautifully than ever since your arrival.

H. Noctem"

Your eyes light up with pride before they go round as you notice the money that was carefully tucked inside. It was much more than what was discussed originally in correspondence. The coins fell into the palm of your hand, gold and glittering in the sunshine. Your chest tight as you suck in a breath. With your heart hammering you tuck the gold into your pocket. Looking out into the sea of green leaves.

To you, the space was tidier than it had been to be sure, but not something you would have thought to have been paid more than four times your normal wages. You finish your lemonade, setting the empty glass upon the letter so it did not blow away while you worked.

You move through the green courtyard with your barrow full of tools. Working around the intricate stone structures as you continue to rid the garden of weeds and trim back unruly bushes. Taking breaks to sit on the steps and drain the flask of water you had brought with you.

The sun had slunk down past the horizon. While you had been preoccupied in your work, nighttime had turned the world into glowing blue hues. A cloudless sky, and a big orange moon that gave enough light so you could finish taking the last mountain of greens out to the woods to dump them.

You had never worked so late before.

It was then, as you were returning, and packing up your tools, that you noticed the flowers of the garden you had been tending to all along, had begun to open. A rich sweet scent wafted in the air, filling up the garden space. The rows of closed petals now open to reveal large snowwy white flowers.

Fireflies gently bobbing in the cooling night air as you turn in wonder to look at the garden in all its full splendor.

"Tick, tick, tick,"

You pause, head tilting at the curious sound that came from behind you.

A clicking noise, ticking noise, subtle yet strange. The hairs on the back of your neck tingling as a feeling of discomfort ripples upon your back.

You are not alone.

Suddenly every fiber of your being is acutely aware of this one fact.

You reach for your tools, putting them away with a strained urgency to remain calm. You gather up your things into your wheelbarrow, remembering the letter on the porch and the glass. There is a fleeting want to keep the letter, but you abandon the idea, moving towards the gardeners gate instead, and retreating through the towering hedges.

Daring to glance behind you, a shudder races through you.

A long shadow, stood menacingly in the doorway of the castle. Their form stretched and unhuman, with a long craning neck, and two fanning triangles that sprouted from either side of it's head.

Two dots of firelight, where the only thing you could make out on it's shadowy face, and they bore into you even after you have left the garden. Even after you have broken into a run through the dark woods.

#monster x reader #monster x human #vampire x human #vampire x reader #exophilia #I am really happy to have gotten this first part done! #It's short and by no means finished #but if you want more let me know ^-^ )

[cavendishbutterfly]

If you decide to start writing fic

you’ll post something on Aug 22. Nothing major. It will go out to your fresh-faced AO3 and your followers on tumblr, fewer than ten, including your friend the gymnast who is also very good at reccing. You’ll write more microfics, wait to see whether anyone notices, loiter in your office bathroom to scroll through the precious tags of a reblog. A tiger will offer you an invite to a discord server, a first gateway, a beginning. You’ll talk about transness with a chameleon. You’ll talk steadily more to a black cat who lets you onto a whole sea of servers and that will make all the difference in the world. And then the cat will make all the difference in the world, a hundred times over, a thousand. You’ll meet a small community: cacti, witches, rocks, birds, cat owners, apricots. A local of the city you love. You’ll meet fellow hufflepuffs and acespecs and writers you’ve quietly followed for months and months; stars and sweets and quills, readers, healers and academics and degree-holders, and people who take your breath away in fifty words. You’ll remember why language is beautiful. You’ll remember why you write, or maybe learn it for the first time. Four thousand words will feel impossible but you’ll build the first story brick by brick, rewriting and rewriting. People will take the time to read it over for you. They’ll volunteer, even. Sometimes they’ll even thank you for asking them, and it will blow your mind; you’ve forgotten how giving people can be, or perhaps you’re still learning. You’ll meet a chemist by passing your phone to your partner, and by some stroke of luck she’ll anchor you in all her brilliance and warmth. When you post your first longer fics, they will receive love beyond your comprehension. People will leave you long, gracious comments. They’ll write recommendations that floor you. They will say, we saw your heart in Eastern Europe. In the scene with the hair, on the shoreline, in the small cramped flat, in the cabin. You will create things you did not think were possible for you. Strangers and friends will choose to keep you company online, small strange boxes of text made infinitely precious on lonely days and bright ones. You will write a horrifying (wonderful) story with someone halfway across the world and cackle far past your bedtime. You’ll trade paragraphs about eighth year fics, recipes, disco cowboy memes, gifts and prompts galore. A bee, a white cat, milk, honey, geese, a chickpea, an octopus, an artful mouse. These people will teach you queer joy. It is not a small thing to learn. There are so many intricacies captured—here, this is a new way to love your body. Here, this is a new way to stoke your soul. And all the while you will have been becoming yourself, surrounded by art and artists, and you will remember what a beautiful way this is to grow. Fostered by the generosity of strangers, and strangers become friends.

#even if you are not blatantly named here #if you have spoken to me in the past year #you are in this post #and I am so grateful #that you offered me a piece of your time and your self #that you are part of this place that has made my world brighter #thank you thank you thank you

[theflyingfeeling]

Crying over 42 promt 😂 how about Niko/Joel for it?

Excellent 😌

...I made it a College AU, just because! Hope you don't mind <3

42. You get attacked by a goose and I’m the one to help patch you up (3404 words)

~

Joel tied the laces of his right foot sneaker and evaluated the quality of his work. Dissatisfied, he untied and tied them again, and repeated the same exact action for the left one, gritting his teeth as he did. 

“Oh my god, Joel, you can just tell me if you want me to come with you.”

Joel glared at his roommate who was spread on his bed, eyes on the phone he was holding above his face.

“No, thanks. I’m a big boy.”

“Sure you are, but those geese are pretty big too,” Joonas said. “And you almost pooped your pants when we walked past them yesterday.”

“I did not.”

“So you held my hand just because you like me so much? Awwww, babe– ow!”

The textbook Joel had thrown at Joonas may have shut him up momentarily, but the snickering smile on his face returned as soon as the book was off his face.

“They’re just stupid, brainless birds,” Joel muttered as he zipped up his Adidas track jacket.

“Stupid, brainless birds with razor blades for teeth.”

Joel tightened his high ponytail. He grabbed his phone from his bedside table and slid it in the pocket of his shorts.

“And have you noticed they have teeth on their tongue as well?”

“Shut the fuck up, Porko!” Joel snapped and rushed out of the door before his roommate could mess with his head some more. 

Because yes, the aggressive geese that had taken over the campus park had given him a proper scare the day before when he and Joonas had walked back to the dorm and one of them had started following Joel right behind his heels. But no, he wasn’t going to let some vicious, bloodthirsty, feathered animals keep him from going on about his morning jog through the campus.

Or that’s what he had thought, right until he arrived at the park and saw the whole gaggle of geese that seemed to stop and stare at Joel in the middle of their usual geese business, and not because they thought he was a sight for sore eyes.

No; they were out for his blood. 

Joel clenched his hands into fists and took a deep breath. 

Stupid, brainless birds, he started chanting to himself in his head. I am an apex predator, and they are just stupid, brainless, useless birds that have no control over my life. 

He kept his eyes fixed on the lecture building on the other side of the park as he started jogging, perhaps a little faster than he normally would for his morning exercise. The black, lifeless eyes of the geese followed him closely, or so it felt like to Joel at least.

When a few of the geese flapped their wings as Joel passed them, he sped up his steps and tried to keep his breathing under control. He was only about a hundred metres away from the edge of the green area, a hundred more steps away from safety, but the faster he ran, the farther away the campus gates seemed to be.

A couple of the geese were now clearly running after him, and if the thumping of his heart wasn’t the only sound roaring in his ears, he would have heard them quacking loudly at him.

His final mistake was when he glanced behind him and saw a glimpse of the beasts and their disturbingly sharp-looking rows of teeth and yes, even the spiky tongue, but then the chase came to an abrupt end when he collided with something. 

“Hey, woah, watch where you’re going!” a familiar voice spoke to him. 

When he looked ahead again, he saw the guy who always sat next to him in his compulsory English class, glaring at him with his green eyes. His long brown hair framed his permanently annoyed expression, but his exceptional beauty still made Joel catch his breath, like it did every time he stepped in the classroom and found the man’s eyes already staring at him, like he had been waiting to see Joel, even if they never really talked. 

The thought of finally saying something to the man was the last one Joel had before he felt a sharp pain in his ankle. He looked down and saw one of the geese poking his feet with its killer choppers. 

Then everything went black.

 ~

Later that day, when Niko recollected the whole incident to his roommate, he realised he had heard Joel before he had seen the man, his heavy, panicky breathing approaching Niko gradually as he had walked on the gravel, lost in his thoughts. However, it wasn’t until Joel had already bumped into him that he realised who it was that had been running for his life in such a perplexed state.

Their eyes met only for a few seconds, the weird sadness Niko usually saw in Joel’s eyes having given room to terror and helplessness, and then Joel was suddenly collapsing against him, right there in the middle of a path in the campus yard at eight in the morning on a Monday. 

Niko shooed the over-enthusiastic geese away and dragged Joel to a nearby bench. He noticed some of the passers-by had stopped to gawk at the scene, but none of them offered any help in moving the long-limbed blond to a more comfortable position. 

“Joel! Can you hear me?” Niko tried snapping his fingers at Joel’s face, but there was no reaction from the other man. Just when Niko was about to dial the emergency number, Joel’s eyelids began to flutter and a silent sigh left his mouth.

“Ahhhhh, the fuck?” he groaned, and Niko was ready to kiss the guy from pure relief. 

“Are you alright, Joel?” 

A realisation of some sort seemed to hit him, judging by the way his eyes widened and the colour left his face.

“Wh-where is it?”

‘It’, supposedly, meant the large bird that had been after him when he had run into Niko. 

“It’s gone, you don’t have to worry about it anymore.” Niko placed a calming hand on Joel’s shoulder when he tried getting up from the bench. 

“But… what happened?”

“Well, I can only tell what happened after you crashed into me: you passed out.”

“Oh– OH! Oh, oh my god!” Joel moaned and looked like he was about to faint again. 

“Hey! Hey hey hey, are you good?”

“It bit me!”

“What?”

“That son of a bitch! It bit me!” Joel grabbed the back rest of the bench to try and pull himself up as he reached his other hand towards his ankle.

“Fuck, really?” Niko moved his gaze from Joel’s pained eyes to his feet.

“Ahh, it hurts like hell! Ah shit, I can’t even look! Can you tell me, is it bad?”

Niko took a closer look at Joel’s ankle and saw a few, tiny droplets of blood.

“Well–”

“Oh, fucking hell! Do geese have rabies?

“I don’t thi–”

“Ahh, fuck, this is it, isn’t it? This is how I’m gonna go? I’m gonna fucking DIE, right?”

“You’re not–”

“Tell Porko to keep his filthy fingers off my vinyl collection, I’m taking that shit with me when I go!”

From the way Joel always sat so quietly in the back row of the English classroom, sulking and rarely talking to anyone (except for that one time he had noticed Niko’s wrinkly band shirt and started bombarding him with questions, asking if he listened to this and this band, until the teacher had to shush him silent), Niko would never had guessed the man could be so theatrical.

“Okay, listen to me, you drama queen: it’s only a scratch, I’m pretty sure birds don’t transmit rabies, you’re not gonna die, and I have no idea who the hell Porko is, so will you just calm the fuck down?”

Joel looked at him, breathing heavily and his eyes frightened. Niko used his thumb to rub the side of Joel’s bare ankle just above the bruise left by the goose, hoping it might help the man to cool off. 

“If I were you, I’d be more worried about how you blacked out like that. Has it happened before?”

He saw Joel swallow before answering. 

“No. At least not like this.”

“Do you want me to take you to the emergency room? Or to the campus nurse?”

Joel’s eyes enlarged and he shook his head. Niko noticed him becoming restless again, so he slowed down the movements of his thumb to make him relax.

“Okay, I won’t,” Niko said as calmly and softly as he could. “But can I at least help you back to the dorm and clean the wound and stop the bleeding?”

“There’s blood?!” Joel bolted up, his face as pale as if he had just been given the death sentence.

“Just a tiny scrape, alright? It is bleeding a little, yes, but you will live, jeez.” Niko added the last part under his breath. “It should be disinfected though, so let’s get you back to the dorm now, yeah? Which one is yours?”

“No, no no no no, I am not going near those demons again!”

Under his palm, Niko could feel Joel tremble.

“Fine, no more park for today. Let’s just go round the park, hm? I live in that dorm over there,” Niko pointed his finger at the dormitory building in the farthest right hand corner of the campus square, “so we can just walk past the park and no geese will bother us. How does that sound? Do you think you can do that?”

He heard Joel take a few unsteady breaths in, which made Niko want to clasp the man’s hand instead of his wounded ankle and tell him he was safe, as far as Niko was concerned.

“Okay,” Joel said and nodded, probably more to himself than to answer Niko's question. “Okay,” he repeated and let Niko help him up. 

“Do you need a drink?”

“Most definitely,” Joel mumbled with such solemnity that it was hard for Niko to hold back his laughter.

“I meant, like, water or something. ‘Cause you were kinda going through it just now.”

“Let’s just go get the bandaid, alright?” Joel replied quietly, eyes on the ground as they began walking. If he had been fearing for his life just a moment ago, now he looked like he was wishing for the earth to swallow him whole. 

Niko knew that feeling all too well, so he didn’t bother Joel with meaningless small talk as they strolled around the campus area. And anyway, he was far too busy trying to make sense of what had just happened and how, instead of attending his morning lecture like he was supposed to, he was now tending to the guy from his English class, whose grumpy appearance at the door of the classroom was always the highlight of Niko’s week, despite the fact he was yet to actually start a conversation with him outside the structured class discussion activities. Every time Niko had psyched himself up to finally at least say hi to Joel, the guy had either ran out of the classroom hardly a second after the teacher had dismissed the class or, in some cases, not shown up at all. Niko hated those days, because usually it meant he wouldn’t see Joel during the lunch break that followed either, and left him fretful and melancholic for the rest of the day which, of course, never went unnoticed by Aleksi who would then try all his tricks to make Niko spill the tea about what had brought him so down.

But how was Niko supposed to explain he was merely lovesick for a man he had barely even talked to? Niko wasn’t even sure if Joel knew his name.

“I’m Niko, by the way,” he said when they were halfway to the dorms. “We go to the same English class, remember?”

“Yeah,” Joel acknowledged. Then he fell silent for at least twenty more steps until he cleared his throat. “I’m… Joel.”

Niko swallowed the “I know”, regarding it creepy as fuck, as well as the awfully formal “Nice to meet you”, and settled for awkward “Cool” instead (which wasn’t any better, he realised the second he had uttered it).

After what seemed like forever, walking in the uncomfortable silence, they were at the dorm and Niko led Joel up to his room, hoping Aleksi had already left for his classes. Indeed, Niko sighed of relief when he saw his roommate’s unmade bed empty and his white sneakers gone, and ordered Joel to sit on the only chair in the room.

 The bridge of Joel’s nose wrinkled when Niko tapped on his wound with a cotton pad soaked in way too much disinfectant, which had been totally unintentional from Niko’s part, although he had to admit he would gladly take care of Joel’s injuries another time if it meant he’d see Joel scrunch up his face into the most adorable expressions he had seen from the man so far. 

“There, all patched up now,” Niko concluded when he smoothened the bandaid on Joel’s bony ankle. 

He was expecting Joel to be back on his feet and out the door by then, but instead Joel stayed put on the squeaky chair next to Niko’s bed. He was scratching on something on his nail but said nothing, safe for a small, barely audible “thanks”.

“No problem,” Niko nodded, and still Joel did not move an inch. “So, umm…afraid of birds, huh?”

“Kinda,” Joel replied, with a voice even quieter than earlier. The sight of him was so heartbreaking, like a child whose lollipop had just been snatched right out of his hand, that Niko found it almost impossible to not take the man to sit on his lap, despite being noticeably smaller in size than Joel, and rock him back and forth until he’d forget all about the geese and other horrors of the world.

“Yeah, well, one almost snatched my hat the other day, so…” Niko trailed off and then bit his lip; this was the opposite of what he wanted to talk about, so he took a deep breath and started again.

“You know, I’ve… noticed you in class.”

Fuck’s sake, Niko, that’s the best you can do?

“I mean, obviously I have, we sit next to each other almost every lecture…”

Just shut your dumb mouth already.

“And… like…” he tried, but the words he wanted to say  just didn’t come to him, so he scratched the back of his head in frustration. 

“Yeah, I’ve… noticed you too.”

Niko’s heart almost jumped to his throat.

“And to be honest, this is not how I imagined our first actual conversation to go down.”

“Our first conversation? Have you forgotten about that time you talked my ears off about Nine Inch Nails?”

Niko’s quick wits had been so eager to make the remark that it took him another few seconds to realise Joel had just confessed he had imagined talking with Niko before.

The thought made Niko bite his lip to hide his dopey grin.

“A real conversation, not me blabbering about my hyperfixations after having downed five RedBulls.” Joel’s voice was but a low grumble again, but the rosy shade of red on his cheeks looked insanely attractive on him, Niko thought. 

It also made Niko just bold enough to add another twist to their current exchange of words.

“Well, what would you have said, then, if you’d get your own way?”

Joel’s eyes visibly brightened when he glanced at Niko.

“For starters, I would have told you those checkered Vans look dumb as fuck.”

“Excuse me? They’re retro!” Niko exclaimed, finally letting his lips break into a smile.

“I’m sorry to break it to you but not a single piece of clothing from the early 00s is retro, it’s cringe.”

“At least I own more than two shirts…”

“And you wish they were as cool as my Venom ones!”

“I don’t need to wish, I know they are.”

“Ha! So you admit they’re cool!”

Joel’s triumphant face had erased the last traces of his frown, and his smile was so blinding that Niko completely forgot to watch his own mouth.

“I do like the sleeveless one at least.”

Only Joel’s surprised silence made Niko realise what he had blurted out. 

“You know, ‘cause… like… your tattoos are pretty sweet.”

“Oh,” Joel brushed his upper arm where his labyrinth tattoo was hidden under the sleeve of his track jacket. “Thanks.”

“I wanted to tell you when I first saw it but, umm… didn’t want to bother you, I guess.”

Niko’s eyes wandered around the room until they found Joel’s again. The curve of Joel’s eyebrows had softened and his lips were slightly parted, and Niko tried not to think about how soft they looked.

“I…,” Joel began, “I wish you had, though. Bothered me, I mean. Because… after that one time I was so embarrassed to talk to you again–”

“No reason to feel like that,” Niko told him, fighting the urge to put a reassuring hand on the long, skinny leg that was still stretched out on Niko’s bed after the medical operation.

“You probably thought I was a freak.”

“No, actually I thought you were… kinda cute.”

When Joel chuckled, Niko felt his heart starting to beat again.

“Well… despite the hideous shoes and the baggy pants–”

“At least I’m comfortable!”

“–I think you’re sorta cute too.”

Joel blinked his blue eyes softly, and even in his right mind Niko could not have looked elsewhere. 

What a blessing it was, to be alive on a spring morning and sit with a guy you thought was cute and who thought you were cute too.

Niko wanted to linger in that moment and that feeling forever, staring into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, wondering what kind of secrets and unsaid confessions were behind them, and whether he was worthy of learning about any of them.

He had every intention to find out.

“I should… go,” Joel said eventually, although the look in his eyes communicated a completely different message.

“Yeah, I’m… late for my lecture, too,” Niko said, and both men stood up. Niko waited for Joel to say something more, but when he didn’t, Niko swallowed his disappointment and fixed his hair. 

“I’ll see you in English class, I guess. And hey,” he added when Joel was already on his way to the door, “if those geese ever attack you again, you know where to find me.”

Niko had to consciously command his knees to stay strong when Joel flashed him another bright smile. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Okay, well, see ya.”

“Bye,” Niko forced himself to say, and when Joel closed the door after him, he threw himself on his bed and muffled his frustrated groan on his pillow. 

He had been  so close to confessing how sad he became every time Joel didn’t attend their weekly mutual lecture, and that it had been him who had taken Joel’s sunglasses to the lost-and-found when he had forgotten them in the classroom (he had been too much of a coward to give them to the man himself), or at least tell Joel he’d like to spend some more time together, outside the artificial context of English classes. 

Now, the most Niko expected was them to go back to the awkwardness of sitting side by side in class without saying a word to each other, which, after the latest incident, felt almost worse than one of them moving overseas and never seeing each other again.

Already halfway down to his pit of misery and self-pity, Niko was startled when there was a knock on his door. 

Thinking it was Aleksi who had forgotten his key again, Niko didn’t hurry on his way to the door, and almost gasped out loud when he saw Joel standing at the door frame instead.

Wordlessly they just stared at each other for seconds that lasted a small eternity, but then Joel opened his mouth.

“I was just wondering if… if you’d like to… hang out, maybe? Later?”

As if bitten by a savage poultry again, Joel was visibly shivering. It might have been just the chilly hallway, but when Niko reached his hand to brush Joel’s finger with his own, he saw the man’s shoulders relax and his jaw unclench.

“I’m free tonight.”

#blind channel #blind channel rpf #blind channel fanfiction #spring fluff by theflyingfeeling #joel is some kinda sports major maybe? and niko studies literature as his major #porko and allu are there just to have some fun 😏 #(but before you get excited: porko only has a few lines and aleksi is only mentioned) #olli and tommi are not mentioned but they're there too of course! possibly studying hard in the library 😇 #yes it's a very different kind of college au from the one i wrote last winter lol #also: high ponytail joel! 🥰 #but also: shy!joel 🥺

[emiratoktaliev]

Lets the hunt begin! - 20/12/2023 - Chapter 1

When you speak, your life is on the line - Be careful when you tell a story! "You won't believe what just happened", the words that are not unfamiliar to us. But deadlier than sword in the heart, death is more appealing than those words. They weren't until the day we met The Story Teller. The one who shut our mouth. My old mate ran to us, she tried to share the great news: "I saw him running! He is leaving us and...", suddenly his eyes, the eyes began to melt and he started vomiting nails from his mouth. While the rustle echoed through the room. I saw how his posture begged for help, but I couldn't do anything to help him. At once I put my left hand in Pictor's mouth to prevent him from making any noises, whilst I bit my other hand. We witnessed how she shook in pain and bathed in her own blood. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't, nails clogged her throat. We were in my dormitory, we hid here. The lamps in the house flashed, finally they did turn on, and the echoes of the papers disappeared. But we didn't dare to move for hours. For hours I heard whispers, I couldn't understand what is Pictor who was trying to speak to me or what? My soul almost left me, because I didn't expect, when Pictor finally whispered to me "Are you ready my dear? If so, Viktor, please do not say anything, we don't know how it works yet, please just follow me", I nodded. Like geese we moved from room to room to make sure he left us, we held my hand, to prevent my body from shaking. Pictor was always the braver one, but he looks like a effeminate man, with a slim build and youthful appearance, despite that he was always braver, but not stronger, but he was always more handsome... When we reached the dining room we saw a girl there, it was Angela, luckily she has survived. She was looking for us. When Angela noticed us, she run up to us, jumped and hugged. "I thought you are were dead! Don't scare me so!", Pictor as usually didn't like the sentimental, he straight up started asking questions: "Did you see him? Did he hurt you?", Angela shook her head and answered: "Yes and no. I saw just his foot, but he didn't attack me. I saw how he dropped this". She handed to Pictor piece of paper or maybe notes? It was a verse of some kind, nicely written and neat it said:

"Every tale has a soul

Every soul has a day it was born

Someday it is going to die.

But where does the soul of the tales go?

Do they end up in heaven or hell? Or maybe they reincarnate in another body or soul or becomes a tale of its own?

"What could that possible be?", Pictor asked, "Are you deaf? I just said I saw him drop it", Angela was irritated. I added "Let me keep it, maybe we'll be needing it in the future" I gently put it in my pocket. Angela uttered: "Listen your love birds, we need to make a plan. We need to escape him. He always finds us and we need find other who maybe were lucky to survive". I asked them "Do we know of any of his weaknesses?". Angela said: "I actually thought about one thing, but I would barely call it a weakness, rather a pattern. When he killed my boyfriend Yin said he saw him speaking, maybe it is a clue?" Pictor: "When your boyfriend's friend died, we didn't hear something", I said: "Actually I did, I couldn't say what, but I heard whispers. When I think about it, before he killed the police officer, he spoke to. He just spoke and later I found the police officer's dead body. I don't know why but I have a feeling to not engage in any conversations with him whatsoever". Pictor answered frustrated: "BUT COMMON, it cannot possibly be his weakness! It is so dumb!", "Do mean I am dumb? Have you looked at the mirror?" "jsljdmlsakdm" "ajsndnlmaskld", They started to fight, as usually. I took out the note and started to study it. "Guys, look here!", "WHAT!?", they both screamed at me. "It stands: "Page 1 of 10, The Story of how I studied The Story Teller" I said: "Look Angela, Pictor, my dear friends. We need to find other 9 pages and I think it will give us some clues. Because we don't have any clues, I think it is best to go to the forest again. There where we met him for the first time, ever.". When I said that I remembered stories about adventures of different kinds, maybe they were true as well? "No, you are crazy, Viktor I love you, but I would never go there", Pictor said. I got angry at him: "Do you have any other ideas?", "Are you insane?", "Get better ideas then!". We stopped cause Angela slapped us both on the cheek. "Did it hurt?" she asked. We couldn't answer because it hurt so much. We nodded instead. She continued, "Good, because next time it you are going to have scars! I have decided, because I am oldest one here, we will go to the forest because I don't have any better ways of escaping him. I looked at the window, I thought I was in my fantasy books, therefore I asked "Do you think we are in his realm?". "Why do you think so?", "Look outside.". We saw moon and sun at the same time, the clock on the wall spined so fast it looked like there was not any clock arrows, but didn't make any sound. "Shit Viktor, how couldn't I notice it." We approached the front of the window and look at the moon and the sun, it wasn't cold or hot. It felt nothing. It didn't dazzle us. It wasn't bright, it wasn't dark. While we saw book flying around in the air outside and the forest across the street. The forest where we met him. I wanted to break down. I needed to breathe. When I turned around I almost lost it. I said: "Guys at least we know, what is his name, it is The Story Teller", Angela wondered "How come you know that?". I pointed at the floor and there was ink, it wasn't there a second ago, merged with blood. "Can you read as well?", they nodded. Someone, no The Story Teller wrote, "Let the story begin!"

#author #write #writeblr #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #horror story #horror writing #mystical

[the-dream-beyond]

Episode 18: Overcoming Burnout: Strategies for Resilience with Brittany Jewett

Brittany Jewett 

There is a ton of energy work out there that you can do multiple times a day. It's really resetting the body and resetting and being like taking yourself truly from your brain back into your body and breathing. Or doing yoga, facilitating that mind body connection. 10 times out of 10 will always, always help you release some energy that you've taken on to be your own.

Nik Tarascio 

So if you've ever wondered, Am I burnt out right now? Am I taking on too much? Am I completely overwhelmed? You most likely are, in fact many of us are. I think we're so conditioned not to believe that about ourselves. And we just keep pushing through anyway. But this next guest really kind of gets into the heart of the matter and talks about what burnout really is, what to do about it, and how it really is preventing us from living our most fulfilling life. I hope you enjoy the show.

Welcome to the dream beyond. I'm your host, Nik Tarascio. I'm a CEO, musician, and overall seeker of Truth, inspiration and simply put, how to live the most fulfilling life possible. Growing up surrounded by extremely wealthy and successful people gave me unique and unfiltered perspectives of those who have seemingly made it on the dream beyond we're letting you in on what it really takes to achieve your dreams. What happens when it turns out your destination isn't the promised land you are expecting how to process the lessons from your past while mapping a course to true fulfillment. Let's get started.

Everybody, today's guest is a consultant leadership coach and social impact strategist. She's the owner of b.Renovo, a consulting firm dedicated to creating high-impact executive teams and skilled nonprofit professionals who have fulfilling personal lives. I imagine that's really hard for people who are in the nonprofit world. They're super dedicated to their work. She's passionate about creating high-performing nonprofits in order to provide the best care to families who are facing poverty, human trafficking, homelessness, addiction, and reentry. Please welcome Brittany to everybody. Hey, thanks for being here. Thanks, pal. It's amazing. It's so good to have you here. And again, I've had the fortune of having Brittany come speak to my YPO forum and just watch her work her magic. And she's just a wealth of knowledge. So I'd love to kind of start out with more of a personal question, which I think will kind of illuminate the path force, which is when you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Brittany Jewett 

Oh, easily a veterinarian. I love animals. I'm a big animal lover. It was the biggest thing I've ever wanted to be. And at some point, one of my sisters was like, you know, you have to like put animals asleep, right? And I was like, nevermind.

Nik Tarascio 

Not a big barrier there. That's good. And from that, I mean, do you have pets yourself?

Brittany Jewett 

I do I have a dog.

Nik Tarascio 

Only one thing about what's going on here.

Brittany Jewett 

I now we used to live on a farm and had a bunch of things roaming around. That's the dream, right?

Nik Tarascio 

Amazing. Do you ever see yourself sometime in the future revisiting that dream? Or is it long, long since sailed?

Brittany Jewett 

That has long since sailed? But I absolutely do see myself back on a farm with a bunch being surrounded by a bunch of dogs and chickens and geese and goats.

Nik Tarascio 

I remember watching there was a show. I don't remember if it was a Netflix show or something like that. But there was this guy. He I guess he lived on a farm in Colorado with four dogs. And they had sheep and he's like, what else is there? And I was like, he may be right. He actually may be right all this time. I'm running around New York trying to build all these things. Maybe it's the guy with the dogs and the sheep who wins.

Brittany Jewett 

It's the farm life. Yeah.

Nik Tarascio 

One of these days. So I'm not I'm not done with that dream yet. Maybe at some point, I'll get over my need to be going a million miles an hour and just hanging out with owls. So with all that said, clearly you have not gone in that direction. But it sounds like it's still in many ways, helping others, whether it's helping animals or helping people this seems like there's this desire to help that's kind of innate to who you are.

Brittany Jewett 

Yes, it absolutely is. I've always had a really sensitive spirit. And I ended up I was born and raised in New Jersey. So I also was like, in, you know, nurtured into the go a million miles an hour, I thought I'd be like living in New York City, my whole adult life with 100,000% pace. But at some point I pivoted to really wanting to get to know what makes people tick. What motivates people what makes people want to change, and that took me on a path towards social work. So I am a licensed master level social worker, that means just like a part time associate therapist, as well as doing a lot of the consulting and leadership work that I do. And in that that really just kind of prepares you and equips you to see like, what do people really need aside from all of the assumption sense that we are putting out there and putting on them, let's like really listen, and take the time to see how we can design life for somebody in a way that they can really grab hold of it in a way that they really want.

Nik Tarascio 

Sounds so what what was that moment for you like it? You know, again, you're on the track for this, like the fast paced life in New York, New Jersey. And again, I'm gonna be asking about burnout today. That's obviously the topic of the show, for selfish reasons. But like, what, what was that moment? Is there a particular breaking point where you were like, I just need to take a left turn here.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah. I wanted to be a lawyer at to, like be like, maybe like a civil attorney, work in social justice of some kind. And I was given loving, gentle guidance to not go that route, like, other routes to do that. And, and I pivoted, and I fell in love with psychology. You know, maybe that the fast 300 $200,000 worth of debt is not like the direction you want to go.

Nik Tarascio 

How far did you go down the hole?

Brittany Jewett 

Not far a year in my undergrad.

Nik Tarascio 

Okay, so that was enough to know, that wasn't for you know,

Brittany Jewett 

I did pretty long it was like, now I switched to English, or I switched to psychology. I was like, Oh, I love this. Yeah, now I have to make a living.

Nik Tarascio 

What's incredible, I mean, truly, even as I'm reading, you know, your, your bio, I hear this desire to help others that may not be able to help themselves. And when you spoke about being a vet, it's the same thing. Like animals that can't help themselves. So it seems like you are the justice warrior from for many of us. And, and kind of going into that I'd love to learn more about, you know, just burnout for especially for the types of people that are generally listening to the show, I think there's a lot of people that have spent most of their life, stuffing down the pain, the discomfort, the fear, and just saying go go go, there's a promised land on the other side of this. And the show, really, I mean, the whole concept of the show is for most people, there is no Promised Land, you just do it. You break and realize, like, wait a minute, I was chasing the impossible. So what exactly is burnout? How do you describe it? Because I'm not even sure I really understand it.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, so there have been several definitions of burnout over the years since around 1970. But I think the biggest one that people resonate with and the research resonates with is emotional exhaustion. So it's kind of that state where you really can't give any more, you can't have any more compassion, you're just really, really sad, you have a hard time thinking clearly. And then that emotional exhaustion ends up manifesting in our bodies, sometimes it will show up as digestive issues, or high blood pressure, just, you know, tension in our shoulders or neck. And it really just relates to the fact that I have nothing left to give.

Nik Tarascio 

And so for people that you've worked with, I mean, are there are these the kinds of people that like, as you're talking to them, you're like, I already know you're in burnout, even if you have no idea. It's like it's almost visible that someone is experiencing that.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, yeah. And they usually actually say things like, the promised land and 1000 miles an hour.

Nik Tarascio 

And I let myself out, I don't know, this puerile.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, there is usually a state, a state of success that people are looking for, or a state of being that is not in the present moment. And that is often what I find, like, can cut people into to, you know, like, there is this life that is in front of you right now that you have, then there is this future life that you're striving to do. And this life that's in front of you, you have to find out is it there are costs to, to it to get to that. And when I say like emotional exhaustion, it's not just at work, it's the demands of everyday life, whether it's your household chores, coming in the needs of your partner, the needs of your children, the needs of your parents, you pour all of that onto one human person, that phone's going off nonstop. And it's all combined, it's like I have nothing left to give any of these things. So something has to match get it all for the sake of the future.

Nik Tarascio 

So as you know, as I'm listening to you what, what, what's really hard for me to process in a lot of this as I imagine that many times the people that you work with are coming to you they probably have some awareness that they have a problem, but in this case, people are listening to this show going like I'm kind of maybe I'm kind of curious to know a little bit more about burnout, but I'm not really burnt out. Like I imagine even for me there's a little bit of denial of like, you know, it's it's a mullet You're tired, but I'm not that burnt out. So like, what is what is life supposed to be like? Like, I'm actually wondering if I've just never known what it was like not to be burnt out?

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah. Well, that's a really, really good question. And I have found that a lot I recently did another podcast with friends is talking about this term, protecting your peace. And not a lot of people know what that is not a lot of people know what it actually feels like to experience like an inner sense of calm and alignment, where you are really centered and grounded in your space. And in fact, I would say that you're seeing in like leadership terms, you're seeing a lot more article, articles come out saying, There is no such thing as work life balance, there's no such thing as you can't achieve this, it's not possible. And, you know, I'm not I can't speak for everybody. But I can say that, you can tell like when you're not in alignment, that's the best way to know, you can tell when something is off. And something is kind of broken within, you might not have words for it, you might not call it your inner alignment, or your self nourishment or your peace. But you can tell when you're running yourself into the ground and nobody and everybody needs more from you. Does that help? Does that make sense?

Nik Tarascio 

Yes, I don't want us to, but it does. Like I just can't even think of a moment in my adult life where I didn't feel like I was being pulled in so many different directions or like, you know, again, getting into the deeply psychological stuff is I always felt responsible for everyone else's experience around me. And now as a CEO, even more, so it's like I have 100 people that I want to make sure they're having a good experience and their families have been happy with the experience that that the employees or have, you know, having with us. And so there's like so much of a sense of burden all the time. And I'm wondering like, is that just the nature of a CEO role? Or is it the nature of a leadership position where people care about their teams? Or is that actually not the way it's supposed to be?

Brittany Jewett 

I would say that is the way it's supposed to be, but with a caveat. So I don't get to work with a lot of CEOs who care about their employees, families. So that's amazing. You know, like, I just want to applaud you for that level of care and intention that you bring to the work like, there are not a lot of CEOs thinking how will these all these things impact this situation or that situation? You know, so that's one thing I can say. But the caveat is, the self awareness required to know when somebody else's energy becomes your energy is sky high, like high priority, right. So there's a difference between weighing all your options, taking in all the information, nurturing your team, and driving yourself into the ground with all that, or letting it go. And figuring out how to multiple multiple times a day, let the energy that is yours be yours and let the energy that is not yours, not viewers will be able to like let people go and let the pressure while pressure valve release a little bit. Because there's just there's no CEO, that's gonna get it right 100% of the time. And the fact that you're thinking and you're caring, and you're leading with a heart is really the highest priority, your employees are going to know your intention. But you also have to release them and release that as a burden that might crush you. You know, that's a big burden to carry.

Nik Tarascio 

Do you have advice on how to let go of those burdens? And again, the main reason for the question is I know so many people, there was a story that I read, I think it was on Quora, or Reddit or something like that. And it said, Someone asked, like, what's the easiest way to become a millionaire? And the answer was, there's two ways one is be so insecure, and so not ever feeling like you're enough that you must, you must become a millionaire. And you'll drive yourself there, like wheels come off, who cares, you'll still get there, or be an artist. That's something I truly love something and maybe you'll be one of the lucky few who makes it while you're passionate about something. So like, I know more people in the first camp, they're still trying to prove that they're enough. So how does someone release that burden? Knowing that that is part of the nature of the personality type?

Brittany Jewett 

I want to answer this in two ways. The I'm gonna put my therapists hat on and say that that is probably a deep belief of inadequacy. And I really strongly believe in therapy and helping people work through feelings of inadequacy, it comes from somewhere. Right. And I heard a great quote that said, therapists make great coaches because they know where the line is. They know when you're like talking to somebody and you're like, that's a therapeutic issue, not a coaching issue. Right. So I'm not gonna go into an organizational health consulting firms. situation where I can see the CEO needs some really deep therapy. And I'm not going to provide that. But I will say for people who are dealing with intense feelings of inadequacy, that can be fixed, that can be healed, you can experience emotional freedom and healing. And it's a really wonderful feeling. That's the first thing.

The second thing is I do like coaches, executive coaches, or life coaches, because they're solutions-focused, and might be a nice in-between with therapy. And they can ask you, this is what I asked your YPO team was, before I give you five hard skills of what Nick can go take away, to not take on people's energies, I want to know why you do it in the first place. I want to know what you're thinking about it. And if you don't take on their energy, then what does that mean? And I want you to do some internal reflection on that. Because then you realize where your motivation lies, and once you realize where your motivation lies, then you can change. And that's when we can get talking into that skill set. Which is there is a ton of energy work out there that you could do multiple times a day. It's really resetting the body and resetting and being like taking yourself truly from your brain back into your body. And breathing. Or doing yoga, facilitating that mind-body connection. 10 times out of 10 will always help you release some energy that you've taken on to be your own. There are a lot of loving kindness meditations.

And I know this is really hard for people who don't experience a lot of gentleness toward themselves. Some of these loving kindness meditations actually encourage you to literally say the name of the thing that you're holding on to and release it and let it go. And it's a practice, but it helps. You know, it helps over time. It's like building a muscle. Nobody's gonna start a meditation practice a guided meditation practice and be like, Wow, that was that was wonderful. Everyone's That was terrible. It doesn't make it wrong.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I mean, my personal experience in this and again, I've done a lot of meditation, a lot of therapy, a lot of all different types of stuff, like coaching, you name it. What I found is for me, when we create more awareness, it's actually really shitty for a while, because I'm like, now I feel all my feelings, like I didn't want to feel all that stuff. I've spent decades stuffing that down. And I feel it. But I guess that's when I get to get to work, right? Like, now I have the clarity to be able to do something about it. So I guess it does get better before it gets worse generally.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, well, let me tell you, that is true for organizational health and leadership development. There are there's a ton of research out there about how teams get together, they decide they're going to do this thing together, they're going to be more transparent. They're going to do the five dysfunctions of a team. They're going to just really do the organizational health thing. And they start saying the things. And they just start unearthing the things and they go. And they tank, like, and then they go, Oh, my gosh, this was the worst idea ever. Please go back into our offices and pretend like none of this existed. This isn't work.

This is therapy, like what did I did come to sign up for therapy. And it's just like, it's not therapy. You know, nobody wants you to do group therapy at work. Nobody wants your boss to be your therapist. No one wants that. But getting all the information on the table does help you make better decisions. And when you make better decisions, and you have more trust and transparency and alignment, things slowly start to come back up, then you start to perform. And then you start to get the outcomes that you're looking for. But it is a common thing. It's a common thing in couples counseling, you go to couples counseling, and you think this, my marriage is so much worse than it was before until it starts getting better.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, that's I mean, sitting with this comfort, that's like a theme of what I talk about so much on this podcast, because it's something I'm just terribly bad at. Yeah, I'm like, This feels not good. Let me go get into action or suit or find some other way to deal with it. But it actually is really nice to hear that it's nice to set that expectation of you know, I think we all I would assume most leaders of organizations, most people in general have that gut instinct of something's not right here. And I'm afraid to go and poke at anything because the narrative I grew up with was like, Don't poke around in my mind, because if you do, you're just making things worse, like it's better for you to stay out of my head and then that initial experience of these conversations validates that fear. Yeah, and it's like my brakes on that's why I said we weren't going to do this, but it's nice to hear. It's like you just got to stick out that first part. And then the gifts come a little bit down the road. So yeah, delayed gratification for the win once again.

Brittany Jewett 

And Nik, your team will only be as vulnerable as you are. Any, any team will only be as vulnerable as a CEO is. And so if we have CEOs who are just fundamentally uncomfortable with feelings, then they're gonna have a hard time building that trust.

Nik Tarascio 

Well, let's, let's challenge that a bit. Because this scares the shit out of me. Right? What you're saying right now is like, I want to be more vulnerable. I want to open up more, but I have had some people say like, Hey, maybe that's too much. Maybe people don't want to follow someone who's airing all their shit. And so like, how can someone be vulnerable without dumping or creating a feeling of like, I can't follow this person's lead. They're so messed up.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, I would say acknowledge the nuance that there are and trust your gut, there are some moments where it is better to refrain. But there is a gray area, there is no black and white answer to that, like, there's always going to be nuance. And I think leaders should really trust their gut, and what they need to share. In the context of organizational health and leadership development, what you're really getting at is being vulnerable. In psychological safety, I'm not sure it's up to you how close you are I can, we can have people listening here who say that their workplace is like a family, and that they have friends who will be lifelong friends from work, where they feel comfortable talking about stuff that's more personal, and can also have somebody listening here who's like, I would never share personal things, I don't trust these people.

So the answer to that I think, is more in the psychological safety field where it's like, your vulnerability needs to look like I made a mistake. That was the wrong call. Like, I put this in this place, I made this decision. without consulting you, I wrote that email and stepped on your toes, and it was not the right thing to do. So it's being humble in your vulnerability, and being able to say that, I don't get it right all the time. And so I'm not going to be sitting here pressuring you to get this work right all the time, oh, you have a sick kid, or this is going on in your personal life, and you're having a really terrible day, same here, you know, I give you kind of some of that space for that. So if you are curious where that line is, start pushing the needle on psychological safety a little bit, being vulnerable with your mistakes, and see how people react. If you notice that, and then after that your people are still holding that cards really close to their chest, you might have a trust problem.

Nik Tarascio 

That's really helpful. Because my mind immediately goes to like, I want to tell people about all of my insecurities versus like, no, maybe I just tell them about mistakes I've made. I like that a lot of saying, Let me own my mistakes in front of them to show like, I'm not this perfect. I'm not this perfect human. Although I think in a lot of ways that was the way I came up was, I almost need to be showing up in a way of almost inhuman, I've been told before that they were like, I mean, this was 10 years ago when I was just figuring a lot of this stuff out. But some of the employees were like, you're you're not even like a person.

You're like this robot who shows up and a high performance, no mistakes, every checking every box. Like you'd never get upset, or I never thought you'd would get angry because I wanted more from the team. But I would never be like, Oh, I messed up. So it's interesting to see that a lot of that was the fear. And even now, it's like, there are times where, because of personal stuff, I do get burnt out. I mean, I'm probably always burnt out. But like I really get to the point where I can't perform. And then I'm so afraid to tell the team that that's where I am. So instead I show up half-assed, and then they're like, oh, Nick's checked out and doesn't care about the company. I'm like, no, no, I care about the company. I'm just suffering in my personal life, and I can't even bring it up. Because it's not safe for me to say,

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, and I think that's fair. If it's your personal life, that's fair. If you you know, there's a difference between sharing all of your insecurities and one of your insecurities. You know, there's a difference between airing all the things that are going on in your personal life versus saying, like, I am super overwhelmed, I imagine you all must be to, you know, and give people a follow up to your behavior. You know, if you're starting to feel like oh, they're seeing me a little checked out. Give them some feedback and commentary about maybe like, what are you going to do to check back in if they've said something like that? You know, I think that point when we get so burned out, we can't even speak like put words together. We need to really take time away like and I mean, a way away. No phone, I'm sorry. No phone, and no email and drop into your body and become you know, a human being again, so that you can breathe and find the words again to like, be a little bit more functional for your health and wellness and Um, but yeah, that that, that dark space is really hard to speak in and to speak to and to even offer feedback for somebody. So that resonates with me.

Nik Tarascio 

I tried to do something yesterday that was relatively new for me. I tried to eat lunch without the TV on without touching my phone. Yeah, it was very hard. Yeah, it was very hard. It was like the like that practice alone, I thought would be really helpful. I can't remember if that's something that you had mentioned of like, taking an actual lunch break. So I was, I don't know if it was because I knew I was interviewing you today. But yesterday that just literally popped into my head was like, God eat lunch without distraction. Like, really taste your food, take your time. And I think I picked my phone up no less than six times. And like, click the button on the side? And I'm like, no, no, put it down. So it's an amazing practice, it was really interesting to see how I forced the moment and I didn't even say forest, I created a space for presence, that would have otherwise just been total distraction.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah. And that's what we talked about with the YPO group was like, don't wait for vacation to do that. Don't wait for the weekend, you could do that five times a day. You know, I even work with somebody who gets very overstimulated by like bright lights and loud noises. And to me that signals, your whole nervous system needs to turn off. And they started curling into a ball blank, you know, blanket black over their eyes, no phone, no light for five minutes in their office twice a day. And it's just like, I can be human. And that has helped sane people throughout the day, there's so much coming out about people like using cots as chairs. Now, there's just so much trending online about people taking naps and just turning turning down the volume a little bit. But overall, what I always get from that is like, Well, when I wake up, the problem is still gonna be there. And when I come back from lunch, it's still gonna have I'm still gonna have 70 emails. Well, we either one thing we talk about in social work is we either change the delivery of services, or the staffing we do a lot of analysis on can the work that we do change? Can you figure out how to cope within this environment? Or do you need to move on? And I don't think those are three hard and fast buckets. But that's where leadership team leadership team coaching comes in is that I really do think leadership teams can redesign their environments in ways that help people thrive and flourish and not run themselves into the ground.

Nik Tarascio 

And so is that mostly, like when you look at what your company does? Is it mostly working with teams or individuals? Teams? Okay. And is it I know, it's, you know, from what I read in your bio, it's mostly focused on nonprofits do you do work with for profits as well?

Brittany Jewett 

I've done a couple of for profit companies. Yeah. And the design work that we're talking about has predominantly been with nonprofits. Because our work is so draining and fast, or nonprofits, there's so many different types of nonprofits, I just say social services. But yeah, with the work can be so draining similar with healthcare environments that GO GO, GO GO GO is present. But there's an issue of not being paid like an underpayment. And for the time that you're going in, you're so so tired, because you're absorbing a lot of crises, and a lot of other people's pain. So burnout is crazy there. And that's why redesigning things, shifting things around looking at different sources of funding and getting really creative with how you deliver services to people is one of the primary services that we offer.

Nik Tarascio 

Okay, I think I told you this when we first spoke that most aviation companies don't make money. So technically speaking, my industry is nonprofit. So I think that means my whole industry qualifies as clients of yours. Yes. And it's Go Go, go, go go. It's absorbing a lot of people's pain, ask any flight attendant. Yeah, so hopefully, you could support our industry because we really could use the balance. I think that, you know, really, really getting to the heart of it. It's one of the hardest things about the work we do. And I don't know how much I told you about this before. But we, you know, we do things like organ transport, we fly doctors to go harvest organs to save lives. You know, everyone's kind of pushing the limits. They're not home for long periods. They're working through the middle of the night when everyone is on vacation, they're working because we provide all those services. It's really been a goal of mine to say how do we build the company that, like we as a leadership team would actually want to work for that really sees the value in people and doesn't just say like, you're a pilot, you're an asset, we could drive you to the limit the way we drive, you know, the maximum hours on a plane.

So I think I think In a lot of ways, like, this is my cry for help. It's like I think our industry has done such a terrible job of taking care of the people. And I mean, even as we're talking, I'm like really inspired to say, how do we find more ways for someone like you to come in and support us and look at the way we do things? So I'm sure there'll be a follow-up on my end of saying, like, yeah, let me show you how duty schedules work. And I'm sure they're in the medical field, it's probably the same thing. It's doctors going out to harvest organs or going for 20 hours straight. 24 hours straight sometimes. Right. But to that end, I am curious about your company. So what does the name mean?

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, it's an interesting name. And I get this question a lot. And it's B renouveau. The B is for breath. And then we're Novo is for renewed. It means renewal in Latin. And it is, the name actually embodies the moment that we stop, and like slow down enough to take a moment to center ourselves bright before we start that path of renewal. And the breath is so vital to preventing and becoming resilient toward emotional exhaustion and burnout, that I was like, I tried all these different ways. I was like, I need to get this in my name somehow, because I think the breath is our greatest friend, and it's our greatest teacher.

But we always forget that there is this moment, right before we decide to change that starts us on a path toward organizational health, organizational change, individual personal development, a career change, there's a moment that we have to stop and say to ourselves, this is not working. And my name honors that. And the company's name embodies that moment. Because we go back to that multiple times, when things get really difficult as the motivation and the source that's going to keep it why did you start this journey in the first place? Right? Why did you start change and renewal in the first place? You knew something had to change?

Nik Tarascio 

I mean, it's, I'm intrigued, because it's also, like, really good timing. I just started breathwork. Practice. And yeah, I'm also trying to find a way for me, the breathwork practice that I'm doing is really more about getting into witness consciousness. Like I'm trying to say, like, Yes, I can be in my pain, I can be in my suffering, I could be in my struggle. But if I could just create a little bit of space that I can witness myself in that pain, witness myself and that struggle, then I actually can do something about it. They say, like, Where's that coming from? Or what is causing it? So I think that's really cool that you're talking about that. I wonder is there I mean, you know, for people that are curious about breath practices, and I know, like meditation has been peddled at us for, you know, a long time now. And a lot of people are not sold on it yet. What breath practices do you recommend for people that are saying I do want to start there, and I want to connect more to myself, and I want to find those tools to downregulate in the moment, is there any body of breathwork study that you recommend,

Brittany Jewett 

Um, I will always start with a 478. Like, it's called Box breathing. And I definitely know you have listeners who are like not 478, there's 478, and then box breathing, but I was one of those people. And that's why I keep commenting on it. I had my own experience of burnout, and, and trying to start, like healing from all of that was so like, everything it was like nothing is going to take away this over. No little small step is going to take away this overarching problem. But for some reason, I just kept showing up, even though I wasn't feeling like a big impact, doing box breathing. There are a lot of breath work, you know, I'm all about like, giving toward people who are kind of up and coming. But there are a lot of breathwork facilitators who are offering a $5 session on Instagram Thursday at two o'clock, right? You look at your schedule, you're like, look, I'm available at two. And I'm gonna go over to Instagram, there's a ton of breathwork on the Insight Timer. And 478 Breathing is the breathwork that general practitioners often give people when they are stressed out. So that's probably where I would start. Just feeling what it's like to pay attention to your breath. Even if you do that for two minutes, just experience what that's like.

Nik Tarascio 

I'm actually curious as 478 like four in hold for seven out for a

Brittany Jewett 

yes, yes. Okay. Yeah.

Nik Tarascio 

Okay, cool. Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off.

Brittany Jewett 

It's important when you feel thoughts to just acknowledge them and kind of just let them know and not judge yourself for them coming through. You know, that's going to be something that helps you build this ability to nurture yourself. And I know we've talked about this before. There's a difference between self care and self nourishment in our nourishment is The things that we do as a ritual that keep us healthy, that make us feel mentally healthy, that keep us grounded and centered. So we feel like we're actually nourishing and feeding ourselves in a sustainable way. And there are rituals that we eventually can't live without self care sometimes starts to feel like a list that you're given. Just go take a bath and go do this one thing, this one thing. And I think when you get even more things for your list, then you become even more burdened. So starting to think of tools, as a thing that you need to survive is going to be a better approach than think, thinking of it as something that you need to do.

Nik Tarascio 

I remember you saying that once before, and I just couldn't really anchor that like, on some level, if I believe it's something I need to do to survive. I'm assuming that like, my motivation should be much more there of like, I have to do this today. It's not even like, it's not something that I have to like, maybe if I find time, it's like, no, I must do this. Because this is a survival thing. So is that really what the spirit of that is just to raise your impetus to do so?

Brittany Jewett 

Well, when you do it, you realize you can't live without it. And that's really what we're talking about here. Right now, we're speaking about these things theoretically, as if they are on a list. But when you live them, and you're, you're in a ritual, and your mindset is committed to this, like there is nothing more important in this moment, that for me to stop, slow down, and whether it's for you, it's eat, with nothing going on. There's nothing more important in this moment, because I need this, to turn the lights off and curl into a ball like, that is what I need to be doing. When you do it, you get the fruit of it repeatedly if you do it over and over. And I think that's that's really the impetus is you receive from what you're pouring into yourself. And I would like to say to people that they're worth stopping and slowing down.

Nik Tarascio 

So how does all of this relate to fulfillment? Given that I think most of the people that are driving themselves as hard as as hard as I am, when I say the promise, that's what I'm really talking about. I'm like, somewhere on the other side of me, just dragging myself across the street at a million miles an hour, there's going to be this moment of like, I could finally breathe, and it's enough and I feel it all in my heart and everything's amazing.

Brittany Jewett 

Or you could turn on the podcast off and die right now have a heart attack. And I know that that's not unlike you might not want to put that on. But that is really my first gut reaction. Is that like, what we have right now is what is in front of us. And if if I'm looking at Nick right now, and it's like, you are a ball of stress, and you're a ball of striving, everything in the future doesn't really even exist. And I'm not talking to you in a way of like, I'm kind of loaded up person. And I just like, go with the wind. I'm very driven and very ambitious. I do think of the future I think of my own promised land. But I will not let it kill me. I see that's not a tool. I'm not giving you a tangible skill. That's a thought. That's my mindset. I'm not letting the future kill me, I'm not going to tear myself into knots. Thinking about this problem absorbing this person's energy taking this issue on when it's not my issue, the future really doesn't exist. And the way we think about the future, and the Promised Land is something that we need to do some real digging on.

Nik Tarascio 

Well, let's stay there for a second because it is something that you've done on like, you know, I've spoken to a lot of people and I'm like, give me all the nuggets, give me all the nuggets that I could consume, and then keep running ahead while watching television. Right? It's, it's really cool to hear you keep going back to none of this shit matters unless the mindset is right. Right? Like it really doesn't matter. Because I think in the same way, it's like, oh, you could exercise and eat well, because you hate yourself. Right? You could like you could totally shame yourself into doing things that appear to be healthy and for, you know, again, for self care. It really sounds like it is this powerful. Like to me this is the witness consciousness is why am I doing anything I'm doing? Am I doing it? Because I'm not enough? Am I doing it because I deserve everything? Yeah. And I really I really appreciate that reminder.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah. I also like I really, I think the self introspection and self awareness is really, really good. But the purpose of it is emotional freedom. Right? It's that we do something with it to where we you know, when we examine our thoughts and examine our mind and our motivations, it's so that we can make a decision from that that will help us thrive. Whether it is leave the job change, you know, change the way we do the job, or ask for ask for more help something else that we might need. But really, this don't We don't want be in a state of like, endless self introspection and do nothing with it. You know, this idea that we're like, I know, I'm burned out, and I'm gonna Google CEO burnout and come up with this list. I mean, good luck. Go, go try to do the list before you actually interrogate yourself. And when you interrogate yourself, then try to take some steps towards it.

Nik Tarascio 

Yeah, I think you're absolutely hitting it on the head, I'm usually very fast to do exactly that thing. Like, oh, look at me, I'm so self aware, I'm gonna go make a list and then create an Asana project, and then also tell, you know, my team to support me in this and tell my partner to hold me accountable. And it's like, oh, I just created a whole other responsibility thing for me to do. And it didn't create any space for the thought. So, yeah, I think that's I think that's really powerful. I mean, of all the, of all the mindsets, or the ways to view oneself, is there anything we haven't touched on yet that you're like, it is another important mindset to come from, as you think of unwinding yourself from, like the concept of a human doing versus a human being?

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, and a human machine versus a human being? Yeah, I love that. You know, I really think that there are some folks who can easily put $1 amount on everything that they do this amount of time, if I grind this hard, I won't miss this opportunity. If I connect with this person, if I do this, then my career's going to be like this. And they can put $1 amount on everything. And I just wouldn't encourage people to put $1 amount on your health, and your emotional freedom, your mental health and your emotional freedom, there is a cost. You know, when you don't tend to yourself, there's a cost there. You don't know where it's gonna show up. You don't want it's going to catch up to you. And it's not really, I'm not sending out like a red flag doom and gloom warning. But I am saying it's something to consider how much you know, time with your family financially is worth and how much time with yourself personally, caring for yourself is worth. And it's very rarely factored in to our equations.

Nik Tarascio 

Well, I feel very well sized up today. Thank you for Thank you for seeing me, even if I didn't want to be seen.

Honest, yeah, no,

Nik Tarascio 

my pleasure. It's, I feel like this is pointless if I'm not, right, at the end of the day, I really, I imagine there's a lot of people that experienced the same stuff. And I'm always happy to throw myself under the bus anytime I get a chance. Self love for the win. But yeah. I'm curious to know, as we as we kind of come to the close of the episode, given all that you've done, given how I mean, you just have such a wealth of knowledge that anytime we've spoken, you just always have such. I love that you don't even answer my questions. You're like, that's a bad question. This is this is really how you really got I don't know, you don't say it that way you say with compassion, but I respect that you're like, I'm not going to take the bait. I'm actually going to answer what I think I really hear is coming up here. So I mean, I just feel like you're, you're so accomplished. You're helping so many people from where you are today. What is your dream beyond? What do you wake up thinking like, I can't wait to see this happen?

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, I'm so excited to turn b.Renovo into like a two-fold practice. And I think that the work that I do is in a cycle, you know, we have organizational health and leadership development at the top with skilled people at the bottom, going into fulfilling lives, and we're all just in this cycle when you're taking care of the top, you're taking care of your people. And I plan to grow this business into something where we're really, really taking care of people who are often not taken care of like our teachers, our social workers, our health care, frontline people, and our forgotten folks. So I really am interested in making sure that people who are the bosses of those folks are growing in their own personal journey and organizational health.

Nik Tarascio 

Well, thank you for helping support me in mine. I'm always, I'm always inspired whenever we talk. And if, if you too, are inspired by what Brittany is talking about, you could check out be renouveau.com We'll leave you know, we'll have all the links and show notes. And again, really, the work she's doing is incredible. It's organizational health and professional development, also life and career coaching. I would probably say I need all of those things. So go check out our website. And again, I'm just so grateful to just watch your journey and, and have like an incredible resource to help me make sense of mine.

Brittany Jewett 

Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

Nik Tarascio 

All right. Take care. Thank you for listening to the dream beyond. I hope that you received whatever message or inspiration you were meant to get from today's episode. I had a great time recording it for you. If you love the show, please take 30 seconds to subscribe rate and review it. That really helps get the word out. And if you want to connect with me you can find me at

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[springvaletales]

((Session 41 is wrapped!))

Lex’s player was unable to attend tonight so we’re pushing her class-changing quest off to next session.

I have no big plans for tonight I plan to just drop a few prominent NPCs in the party’s way and let them do all the steering tonight.

Me, about a Player’s character from a paused campaign: “I miss Honk…” Bagelby/Honk’s Player: “Honk misses you too.”

Geese can only cry tears of rage or pride.

Bagelby’s Player: “Alright everybody…what’s the ultimate flavor of goose?” Sir Carl Jaeger’s Player: “Teriyaki.” Me: “Canadian.” Thiori’s Player: “Cool Ranch.”

“Would you still love someone if they turned into a worm?”

Bagelby’s Player actually has a very wholesome contingency plan for if his fiancee was turned into a worm that include building her a lovely little terrarium, hunting down the dark wizard that cursed her, forcing them to turn her back into a human, and then learning dark magic from said wizard to usurp their position.

Thiori’s Player: “If I turn into a worm, please give me to a bird.”

The party’s first stop was back to town, where they collected the twins Wayne and Zayne, who were…more than a little concerned to see them rock up covered in dirt, blood, and bruises, and lacking both several articles of clothing/extraneous body parts and an entire party member.

Thiori’s Player: “Okay, so…we can’t DISPROVE that we had a cannibal orgy…”

Cue a five minute distraction to discuss hot tubs with corn boilers and if the party could eat Thiori’s crab arms if necessary.

Me: “I want you guys to narrate your travel to and crossing of the Salancian/Kendaran border as if it’s an anime recap episode.”

Ena is drawing lines on her arms to track how far the purple is spreading up her limbs.

Bagelby, flashing back: “…and that time we started a coup…and that other time we started a coup…and that time we participated in a coup-“

Bagelby: “What were you guys’ favorite parts of our journey so far?” Thiori, having war flashbacks to fighting and killing his mutant ‘siblings’: “….I liked finding Erlenmyer.” *pats his horse* Bagelby: “My favorite parts were when I stole things! Like Maritza! And Lord Wiggles’ identity!”

Bagelby, breaking through the fourth wall: “There’s a robot-pirate island?!”

The party met Captain Asteroth at the checkpoint of the Salancian/Kendaran border, and he was not very happy to see Bagelby again, after our lovable rogue filled his office with eggs after their last meeting.

Realizing at the last second that Wayne and Zayne were basically shanghai-ed out of Blackstone City’s ruins and have no passports, Sir Carl Jaeger gave each of them one of his signet rings to get them through the checkpoint.

Bagelby’s Player: “Did you just adopt them?” Sir Carl Jaeger’s Player: “In a legal sense, yes.”

“One day your plot armor will not save you.”

“It takes a country to raise a bagel!” “Actually it takes some light boiling and some salt.”

The party re-entered Kendara in the Aubergine forest, and Ena immediately began foraging for the hallucinogenic Feywild slugs.

The only thing keeping the party moving with Ena and Bagelby high on slug slime is the horses’ instinct to follow the leader.

Thiori is making bear stew for dinner. No-one knows where he got the bear.

Ena failed her perception roll, so she didn’t notice Michael coming out of the woods to sit next to her for a good minute or two. Asahi watched it happen and said nothing.

Vashael and co. are camped out about a dozen feet away on the map, having been in the area to hunt down some of the cultists who had kidnapped them.

“Can you boil water if you’re casting Shape Water to hold it in the shape of a knife?”

“Use it against someone who doesn’t go to wizard school and you’ll cause some psychological damage.”

Both parties camped out together for the night, since they were so close already.

Bagelby made small talk with Naoka by telling her all about how they met her hero, Sebastian Winderwisp. Haaruma got jealous.

Michael asked Ena if she’d gotten his letter. Ena accused Velenna of deserving it for not telling the party all the details. Michael snapped back that he went out of his way to make sure people don’t learn exactly what the party had to drag out of his mother.

Bagelby and Michael did some good bonding over the fact that they both have and love their respective adoptive moms. Ena ate more slugs to cope.

Whenever Michael talks about his missing memories, his friends all pause to watch him.

Ena ate too many slugs and cried on Michael’s shoulder for a few hours before crying on Asahi and falling asleep.

“Horses are terrifying, and I’m thankful every day that they’re not real.” “I’ve got some bad news for you, buddy.”

The next morning, Thiori caught Vashael sparking u the fire again with his fire breath.

“He’s more useful as a lighter than as an adventurer.”

Both parties are heading back to Springvale, so they all saddled up and set out together - Bashur’s horse had extra space, so Sir Carl Jaeger, Wayne, and Zayne hitched a ride.

“You are over the maximum occupancy for this horse, but it’s okay because you’re only going a short distance.”

Springvale is getting ready for the New Moon Festival, and the market squares and surrounding streets are already lined with empty stalls and tables setting up for the party.

Some of the stalls are already active and are selling costumes and masks; Thiori bought a giant hat with a wide brim, and Bagelby stole an entire roguish outfit.

Thiori was given 20 sweetcoins (bread) with his purchase.

The party split up at the main square - Bagelby, Vashael, and Michael headed to Velenna’s house, Bashur went off to do his own errands, and Ena, Asahi, Thiori, and Sir Carl Jaeger & co. went to Bethany’s Tavern to secure lodging.

As soon as they entered the tavern, Bethany spotted Ena, and yanked them all into a vip booth with an enchanted soundproof curtain.

Lore drop: Ena is turning purple because her dragon ancestry has been activated by a sudden exposure to a great source of magic. The Taker would have been powerful enough, but he’s always careful with how much magic he exposes his children to, and when. A night with a dragon princess, however…~

Bethany confirmed that exposure to dragons can extend a mortal’s life, whether the dragon intends it to or not. It’s how she’s made it a thousand years in her prime without looking a day over 60.

Bethany told the group that the color change usually reflects the color of the dragon who donated the genetics (though mutations can occur) and sent them - to Ena’s horror - to the only other purple dragon she knew of….Velenna.

Thiori stayed behind in the tavern while Ena and Asahi trekked off to Velenna’s home, and tried to open the mysterious chained box he’d found in Skaadi’s temple.

The box is a very hungry and very frightened mimic, which Thiori tamed right there on the tavern floor with raw meet and scratches.

The chain around the box is enchanted to tighten when he box opens too far, and snaps it shut until it stops struggling.

Thiori took out his glaive and used it to break the chain around the box…while still on the tavern floor. He nearly hit several patrons and knocked a chandelier swinging.

Thiori was forcibly removed from the tavern.

He still has his reservation, but he must leave his glaive in the stables when he comes back.

Thiori now has a little mimic friend of his own. He has not named them yet.

Ena and Asahi found Bagelby outside Velenna’s house with Vashael’s horse Onward, working up the courage to go inside and ask Velenna to mentor him.

Ena told him what she had to tell Velenna, and told him to get his over with first before everything exploded.

Bagelby went inside, and found Michael making tea in the kitchen - Michael sent him out to the back garden for his mother, who was working on her tomatoes with Vashael’s help.

He asked Velenna to take him on as an apprentice, and she said yes, much to his surprise (he thought he would have to sell it harder).

With that out of the way so quickly, Bagelby then took out and showed Velenna the Heart of YAW, and told her about how Sebastian Winderwisp told them it was important.

He did not tell her about the ill-fated trip into Skaadi’s lost temple (yet).

Lore drop: The Heart of YAW is a power source for a Warforged doorman, built by a Warforged demigod, Pax Achilles, who was in turn built by Machine, mechanical daughter of Skaadi, and goddess of deceit, secrets, and innovation.

The Heart is a sort of GPS that lets the doorman keep track of the mystical traveling door to Pax Achilles legendary library, and without it, the doorman is stuck endlessly chasing the door, always one stop behind.

Returning the heart might grant the party access to this mystical library, and the knowledge therein.

Michael brought them a whole tray of tea instead of just a few cups, because he can see Ena still waiting outside with Asahi, Sir Carl Jaeger, and the twins.

When Velenna came to the door to see what all the hubbub was, Ena panicked, and cast Spirit Shroud.

She summoned seven spirits - four fire genasi (three related to her), and eyeless elf, a one-armed minotaur, and an Aasimar woman.

The Aasimar is someone from Michael’s past that he was close too, and even though he can’t remember her, he’s now reliving the trauma of her death.

Michael dropped the tea tray when the spirits were summoned, and all the cups shattered. Velenna’s tea set just can’t catch a break.

Velenna knows exactly what is going on with Ena.

#OOC #Quarantine D&D

[qqkatie]

Who keeps letting the geese in the building??

#Who keeps letting the geese in the building??

[omghotmemes]

Who keeps letting the geese in the building??

#Funny #meme #dankmeme #lol #omghotmemes

[froggie-recs-fics]

Fic Roundup (up to 9/26/21)

I'm gonna start collecting fics I've read recently to recommend them, because making trope lists takes too long and many fics fall by the wayside. Let me know if you like this new format!

The fandoms in this list are as follows: Marvel (SamBucky, HTP, SpideyPool, WinterHawk, WinterIron, Stony, Stucky, SpiderShield), DCU (Bane/Blake), Inception (Arthur/Eames), Teen Wolf (Sterek).

A * signifies a particular favorite (though I love all these fics)

Marvel

Sam/Bucky

double back by flowermasters (E, 12K, Post-Endgame, Time Loop, Time Travel)

Sam gets stuck in a time loop. In 1943.

Things could be worse, but they could certainly be better.

Companion piece here: quick time

I'll explain everything to the geese by napricot (Post-Endgame, E, 50K, Sam can talk to birds)

Bucky is so competent that it hurts my feelings is not a rational complaint to have about a person, and yet, after a year of being Captain America and partnering up with Bucky for the new and improved, post-Blip Avengers, that’s kinda how Sam’s feeling.

It’s not great. It maybe leads to Sam making some rash, ill-advised decisions like claiming he has a previously undisclosed superpower, and then getting caught in a web of lies when he ends up actually developing that surprisingly inconvenient superpower. Talking to birds had seemed like a harmless superpower, but it turns out that birds have a lot of opinions, and they don’t hesitate to tell Sam about them, especially when it comes to his supposedly subpar courting skills. Which is ridiculous, because Sam isn’t courting Bucky. Right?

Rumlow/Bucky

**blueprints for a better world series by itallstartedwithdefenestration @astralhux (CATWS, Post-CATWS, Noncon, E, 115K, Dark Main Character)

When Pierce discovers the asset is no longer capable of getting himself hard during recreational use, he tells Rumlow to figure out what the problem is, and to fix it. The solution turns out to be more complicated than anyone expected.

I can't recommend this series enough

Peter/Wade

*Dead Men Walking series by doctorestranged @lazystrawberrymilkshakes (E, 235K, Identity Porn, Slow Burn)

When a series of murders take place, Peter Parker goes undercover in Sister Margaret’s to get intel on Tony Stark’s prime suspect: Deadpool. Peter goes in hoping to get enough information so that Spider-Man can save the day, but like everything in Peter’s life, it becomes a bit more complicated than that and it soon becomes apparent that he might not be the best fit for the job.

All About Chemistry by TwiceBakedPotato @sedatedkoala (No Powers AU, M, CNTW, 74K, Teacher-Student Relationship, Slow Build)

After serving his 20 years in the Marine Corps, Wade Wilson is cashing in his GI Bill and going back to college. He feels like the old man on campus, but that doesn't matter. He likes his classes. He likes learning. And he especially likes his Chemistry professor with the messy brown hair.

Clint/Bucky

Making Me A Habit by Kangofu_CB @kangofu-cb (No Powers AU, T, 20K, Pet Store, Slow Burn, Pining, Misunderstandings)

Bucky is a disabled vet struggling with reintegrating into civilian life. He has a routine and a rhythm, and he doesn't like to let anything - big or small - disrupt it. That all changes the day Bucky finds himself inside CATastrophe, the local pet rescue, recovering from a panic attack in the back room of the shop.

He’s used to walking by the place, not visiting, but the next thing Bucky knows, he’s hanging signs and being used as a climbing tree for a bunch of freshly-acquired kittens. And he just...keeps going back. First for the kittens, then for the disaster shop owner who rescues actual kittens from actual trees and teaches archery as a side-gig, and eventually because he’s hopelessly in love.

(Clint was in love before Bucky ever walked in the door.)

*Nameless by AvaKelly (Post-CATWS, M, 101K, Time Travel, Time Loop, Slow Burn)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Glitter, G-Strings and Other Mission Hazards by flawedamythyst @flawedamythyst (T, 16K, Undercover, Stripper Clint)

“Which is why you need me to shake my booty for cash,” said Clint.

“Precisely,” said Coulson. “You’re the only agent we have who wouldn’t need additional training in the skills of an exotic dancer to take on the mission, and we want to get someone in there as soon as possible.”

Clint nodded, shutting the file. “Okay, awesome. I’ll dig out my sequined g-string.”

“You’ll have full access to requisition any costumes you might need,” said Coulson.

A mission requires Bucky to be Clint's back-up as he goes undercover as a stripper, which gets more difficult with every new costume he comes out in.

Paternal Error by EVVS @skylarkevanson (Post-CATWS, T, 33K, Kid Fic, Established Relationship)

Bucky has never once thought of being a parent. Not since the Winter Solider happened.

Until he falls in love with Clint Barton. And that idiot just keeps collecting children for his flock.

Now Bucky has to pretend like he's good at parenting.

Bucky/Tony

Forms of Love by bear_bell (Post-CACW, E, 33K, Split Personalities)

Months after the Avengers' dispute in Germany, the team returns to the US and moves back into the tower. As always, everyone pretends that nothing happened. Tony is just fine with this. He's used to pretending, and he'll be damned if he lets any of them see him flinch.

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

Steve/Tony

While You Were Sleeping by betheflame @betheflame (No Powers AU, M, 65K, While You Were Sleeping AU)

It's been years since Steve Grant Rogers Drysdale has spoken to his twin, Ransom. So it was quite a shock when he was summoned to a hospital and found out that Ransom was in a coma.

Even more shocking? That Ransom is engaged. To Tony Stark.

Steve/Bucky

The Road Goes Ever On And On by PipGraham (Omegaverse AU, M, Noncon, Graphic Violence, 20K, Road Trip, Pre-Serum Steve, Past Domestic Violence)

When Brock's continued domestic abuse puts not only Steve's life in danger, but also that of his unborn pup, he flees into the night with just a small backpack of clothes and almost no money to his name.

Steve quickly runs into trouble as he tries to embark on a 3-day cross-country bus journey back home to New York City.

He meets a kind veteran when he most needs a helping hand.

Just Words by LadyRazzle (crimegimp) @ladyrazzle (Pre-CATFA, Soulmate AU, T, 2K, Fluff)

Inspired by that now legendary post: "soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them." Well what if they appear the moment you turn 18, rather than just the day? And what if by the time you turn 18, you'd already fallen in love?

Bucky wasn’t eager to discover what the words said. He already knew what he wanted them to say. He always had.

Peter/Steve

Forgetting It's There by spinstitcher (stygian) (NR, 8K, Crack, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn)

“You’re Captain America,” he blurts out.

“What?” says Captain America, looking a little wide-eyed. He casts a nervous glance at the girl at the counter – he has nothing to worry about there, she’s rocking out to her iPod and could care less what they’re talking about – and says, “No, uh, Steve, it’s just, I’m Steve.”

“Right,” says Peter, and then because his brain-to-mouth filter had apparently been completely destroyed in the fight on Oscorp Tower: “Hey, your butt really is as tight as it looks on TV.”

DCU

Bane/Blake

7 Deadly Ass(as)sins by teacuphuman @teacuphuman09 (AU, E, 23K, BDSM)

Bane and Barsad own a sex shop and John needs a job.

Straws by Menirva (Bane/Blake/Barsad, AU, E, 38K, BDSM)

John works in a smoothie shop.

He has a knack, a second sense if you will, for being able to look at a person and know what they're going to order. It's not the most spectacular gift in the world but he likes being able to figure people out and he's never wrong.

Except for this scruffy asshole who is clearly just ordering the wrong thing to fuck with him.

How is he even finishing an extra-large?

Inception

Aurthur/Eames

Rough Trade by Whisky (whiskyrunner) @whiskyrunner (AU, E, 23K, Internalized Homophobia)

Arthur is an investment banker. He is professional and efficient. He's a halfway decent cook. He's totally independent and has been since the age of eighteen. Maybe he's tired all the time because he works about ninety hours a week which is twice what normal people do, but he's rich and he's competent at his job. He's almost thirty, and already a success.

And there are some things Arthur is not. For instance: Arthur is not gay.

Lucky by earlgreytea68 @earlgreytea68 (M, 37K, Kid fic)

Arthur finds a baby.

Teen Wolf

Stiles/Derek

Cut to the Bone by standinginanicedress (Omegaverse AU, E, 112K, Secret Relationship, Enemies to Lovers kinda)

“Not that it’s any of your god damn business, but my name is Stiles. Do you need something?”

The alpha grins. All teeth, shiny white, straight as an arrow. He’s got this sculpted perfection to him that Stiles is sure has worked on all the omegas he’s ever encountered before, but Stiles stands his ground and narrows his eyes. “A date.”

Stiles looks him up and down, slowly, from the black shoes on his feet, to his uniform khakis and blazer littered with pins, to his face. He frowns, makes a face, and says, “pass.”

Cornerstone by Vendelin (Human AU, E, 83K, Marine Derek, Blind Stiles, Friends to Lovers)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach (AU, Graphic Violence, E, 76K, Captivity, Feral Derek)

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

The Payoff Pitch by Leslie_Knope (Sports AU, E, 83K, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers)

Derek is on the cusp of his second season with the LA Dodgers, and as the reigning runner-up Rookie of the Year, the pressure’s on him to become the team’s star pitcher and lead them to the playoffs for the first time in five years. He’s trying to deal with the burden of expectations and really has zero desire to spend any extra time or energy on anything that isn’t baseball.

But then he meets Stiles.

#fic rec list #sambucky #sambucky fic rec #htp #winterbones #winterbones fic rec #spideypool #spideypool fic rec #winterhawk #winterhawk fic rec #winteriron #winteriron fic rec #stony #stony fic rec #stucky #stucky fic rec #spidershield #spidershield fic rec #arthur x eames #arthur x eames fic rec #bane x blake #bane x blake fic rec #sterek #sterek fic rec #fic roundup

[chewedcorn]

Who keeps letting the geese in the building??

#funny #lol #lmfao #meme #laugh #memes #fun #friends #photooftheday #friend #wacky #crazy #silly #wit

[westmoor]

like wild geese (headed home)

There had been a herd of deer near their camp that morning, in the shallow light just before dawn, grazing what green could still be found and pulling leaves and soft bark from the willows.

Jaskier had laid awake and watched them, still wrapped tight in his blankets, listening to the gentle huffs and grunts meant only for their own. Every now and again two calves would break from the group and run, skipping and bucking in play on legs that seemed far too delicate to hold but that he knew, if given the chance, would wander far.

The witcher had left even earlier, heading for the river to rinse out their utensils and fill waterskins, ready for an early start now that winter grew nearer and each hour of light was made to count. Not in such a haste though, that he didn’t take a wider arch around the forest edge to keep the deer from startling.

He was gentle that way, Geralt. He had a kindness to him, one he didn’t seem to think was noticeable, but really was as clear as anything if only one cared to look.

It was one of those moments - a fox, that time - that had turned the tide for Jaskier, changed his direction and solidified it.

He didn’t believe in singular life-altering incidents, not really. Surely his decision to follow a monster hunter into the wilderness for adventure would’ve been one such event, his leap of faith, his now or never - back when he’d seen each goal and dream as something to be strived for, each an end to be reached by whichever means within his grasp. 

In truth even that chance meeting in Posada had been another moment in a procession of moments, from his first strumming a lute to the picking of his name and his first song played in full for an audience. Another block to build with, another step for his ladder upon which to stand until he could climb higher.

But the day he’d watched the infamous Butcher of Blaviken sidestep the road for a fox - a miserable, starving thing drifting around a carcass too heavy to move - a single inconsequential kindness of which the world would be none the wiser, he knew he’d found his tether. He knew he’d found the one thing he would not leave in pursuit of something greater. 

It had also been the day when he learned that not everything could be earned and seized, that some things only held value when given freely and in earnest.

-

It’s just past sunrise when Geralt makes it back, and Jaskier has begun strapping together his scant belongings. Together they break the rest down to its parts and make to leave, silence kept at bay by idle conversation from the bard. The witcher contributes little to the discussion, and says even less, but there’s a tranquillity to his features and calm to his movements suggesting - as Jaskier has long suspected - that he listens if not to the words then at least to their sound.

The road takes the both of them north for now, though they’ll soon see that change. Jaskier has not been one to travel by map, never quite found the furnishings to bridge that gap between theory and practice, but he has traversed the continent enough to recognise the shift in scenery as they approach the Pontar. 

Soon enough he and his witcher will come to a familiar crossroads and he will take the western road, to busier routes and the endless bustle of Novigrad and Oxenfurt, while Geralt will keep northwards and cease to be his witcher (to the extent that he ever was) for however much time it takes for their paths to cross again. 

It is the way of things, he knows. From seasons spent in easy company they must go each to their own, himself to his peers and the White Wolf to his pack. 

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clear sky above them, have gathered in their familiar patterns, headed home. He doesn’t blame the world for its contradictions.

He has often pondered what it would be like to pass beyond their regular divergence point and follow - if allowed - all the way to the great stone keep in the mountains, but he knows that particular journey is not for him; That what home and shelter, tales of joy or sorrow, what fellowship and familiarity waits at the end of that particular road are the comforts of the school of wolves, and theirs alone.

It is always Jaskier who departs, when the time comes, always him who takes the first steps down a different road. It’s the least he can do, he figures, after spending the better part of the year trailing the other’s footsteps, to show that he lays no claim to Geralt’s company or expects more than he is given, that he respects the boundaries at hand. He takes some pride in that.

This year is no different, and when the road forks at a familiar junction he unloads the last of the snacks he has pilfered for Roach - the ones he still pretends to hide from her master, although that jig had been up for years - while scratching the spot under her jaw just how he knows she likes.

He unstraps his blankets and provisions carefully, having packed them on top that morning, disentangles what he has from what he wants and lets go.

His smile is genuine - why wouldn’t it be? - and voice earnest as he wishes his witcher safe travels, gives his regards to his kin if appropriate, and expresses hope for a reunion come spring. It’s his standard fare, and they both know it well.

And like the year before and every other year they’ve parted this way, he hoists his pack and his lute strap over each shoulder and walks west, leaving Geralt and his mare to their own devices, free of any ownership a mere bard could pretend to hold over them.

“Jaskier.”

It might’ve been quiet, but it chimes in his head like a bell all the same. It’s an alteration of their usual script and he turns back around, running lists over what he could have forgotten. 

But Geralt looks pained, and for a moment he fears - dreads - that it might be something worse than gloves or a spare ink pot, something far more precious to lose. 

The man who fights beasts and monsters with the steadfastness of a blacksmith over his thousanth horseshoe hesitates, seems to decide and then hesitates again, taking his time and Jaskier lets him have it. For a moment it feels as though he’s standing at another precipice, only this time it seems not to be him looking to jump. 

“Come with me. If you’d like to. You’d be welcome in Kaer Morhen.” 

#geraskier #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #the witcher ficlet #the witcher fic #gratuitous use of wildlife imagery #listen i know everyone and their gran and their grans dog has written this one already #but i went hiking today and this is the cross i must bear #long post

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

I posted 2,127 times in 2021

378 posts created (18%)

1749 posts reblogged (82%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.6 posts.

I added 1,410 tags in 2021

#i need a humour tag - 530 posts

#tiger talks - 255 posts

#i need a cute tag - 167 posts

#venom - 114 posts

#symbrock - 75 posts

#mash - 58 posts

#cats - 58 posts

#leverage - 54 posts

#batman - 53 posts

#dinosaurs - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#which is why i spent a good chunk of my childhood with a flock of imprinted ducks and geese following me around the countryside

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I keep seeing whiny fanboys in youtube comments complaining that Let There Be Carnage turned their favourite badass supervillain into a gay housewife. So I thought I’d help them out by providing them with some examples of why their whining is dumb.

In the Venom comics the Venom Symbiote canonically:

Holds his Host’s hand while on dates

Compares his bonding with Eddie to a marriage which occurred in a church

Giggles when things tickle

Has sex with Eddie

Giggles at funny words (Heh. Haboob.)

Sacrifices himself to protect his baby, multiple times

Fights against brainwashing and mental enslavement when his baby and Host are in danger

Walks his human son to and from school, holding his hand the whole way

Grieves over the way his first babies became monsters

Shares his true name with his human son to help them feel more connected

Goes to a priest to ask for forgiveness about bad things he’s done in the past

Gets emotional about weddings

Repeatedly tries to use his scary appearance to keep people from getting hurt

Has been the victim of abuse, manipulation, torture, brainwashing, memory wiping, and rejection, but still wants to be a good egg who protects innocent people and keeps the world safe.

686 notes • Posted 2021-11-04 01:04:31 GMT

#4

Okay, so there’s one positive about Venom possibly being absorbed into the MCU and that’s

the fact that about half of the Avengers openly want to raw Eddie Brock.

1072 notes • Posted 2021-10-01 01:32:18 GMT

#3

I love Dan so goddamned much, you have no idea. The poor guy gets punched in the face and his response is that those two idiots need couples counselling for their arguing. I'm so looking forward to him being the most supportive and wholesome person on the planet some more.

1158 notes • Posted 2021-08-02 19:41:03 GMT

#2

I just laughed so hard I hurt myself thinking about Eddie writing Chuck Tingle-esque novels to make ends meet when he loses a job at another tabloid, and them becoming wildly successful and all his readers think they’re both hilarious and heart warming and they always ask him where he gets his ideas. In reality, they’re just based on whatever fucked up thing happened that week.

Pounded In The Butt By The Alien That Feeds On My Brain Juices

Absolutely Railed On Top Of The Empire State Building By A Winged Monster

Tormented Prostates Without Penetration, And Other Tales Of Body Sharing

Not Drilled Into A Mattress Because I Was A Dick And Forgot To Bring Home Chocolate Covered Peanuts And Insisted That The Alien Who Lives In My Spleen Should Eat The Red M&Ms Even Though He Claims They Taste Like Disappointment

My Humanoid Alien Husband Decided To Be A Dinosaur For A Night And You Know What It Kinda Worked For Me So We’re Trying It Again Only This Time I’ll Stretch First

1455 notes • Posted 2021-11-22 22:49:40 GMT

#1

Remember folks, even if the movie drops the ball in terms of the pairing, you just have to remind yourself that currently in the comics, Eddie and Venom are living in a nice house in San Francisco with their two sons and consider themselves married.

1872 notes • Posted 2021-09-30 20:16:42 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I need a humour tag #year in review #Symbrock #Just symbrock across the board this year