#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ONLY HAPPENS EVERY 300 FUCKING YEARS

[eirian]

me: oh cool we're in the path of totality for the solar eclipse this year :] this is a rly cool experience, i wonder why ive never seen this happen before

me: google searches "when is the next total solar eclipse"

google: yeah that shit wont happen again for another 300 years <3

me:

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ONLY HAPPENS EVERY 300 FUCKING YEARS #WHAT IS THIS HISTORICAL SHIT I WAS UNAWARE OF #IM. IN AWE FOR REAL #that was literally so cool tho. i didnt personally do an eclipse viewing per se but i did see it get like pitch black outside and it was #one of the coolest experiences in my entire life so far ngl

[sachiko1309]

Make me your wife

Summary: Y/N and her sister got attacked by giant spiders. Luckily Thranduil and his men were near enough to come to their rescue. What Y/N didnt think would ever happen, would be the elven king falling for her sassy and sarcastic character...

Word count: 6606

Warnings: spider attack in the beginning, sass, smut in the end, Minors DNI, this contains adult content!

This was written on request for: @mitsurisu I hope you like it. Sorry for the long wait, but I had much to do at my work. 😅

I was riding through the forest of the Woodland realm with my sister Leonor. We had set of from Rivendell on the request of Legolas. We had met him after he had helped the dwarves to take back their mountain. He was a very nice fellow, flirtatious and easy going, to the point where my sister had poked me and made fun of me for maybe pursuing him as a potential partner. She had been married to her husband for the last 300 years and was still utterly convinced that I would be happy in a marriage as well.

Nothing I said was driving her from that path and I had given up convincing her otherwise, deciding that letting her talk and ignore it would be the best option. She was once again on a rampage on married life, while I rode besides her, letting my thoughts and gaze wander. A crack deeper in the woods made me listen up. I knew that in those woods there were living many giant spiders, so I silenced my sister. She wasn’t a fighter like I was and if we were in trouble I needed her to listen to me.

“Shut it, Leonor. I think I heard something!” I whispered, but she waved it off. “Oh, come on Y/N. You always see and hear danger everywhere.”

“Its my job. I am a soldier after all. Be quiet, there are many spiders in these woods. I need to figure out if we are in danger.” I growled, my hands already gripping my two swords.

“Relax. There is nothing out there. You know how thoroughly Legolas and the guards clear those woods. He has told us on many occasions.” She sighed, not taking the threat seriously.

Another crack made me draw my swords, telling my horse to speed up. Leonor was quick to follow me and we were now thundering through the forest. I really hoped that it was just the forest doing foresty things and not some giant spiders, but my hope was being denied.

With a loud thud, a dark green giant spider dropped right in front of us. Leonor was just quick enough to steer her horse around it, while I was cut of by the spiders body. My horse shrieked, nearly throwing me off, but I was just able to keep me on its back. “RUN!” I yelled at my sister, making myself ready to face the big monster.

“Y/N!” She screamed, drawing the attention of the beast to her. It got up high enough for me to ride under his stomach, grabbing the reigns of my sisters horse who seemed frozen in place.

Dragging her behind me, I rushed my horse through the woods, hoping that we would be faster than that spider. Leonor took a while to come out of her frozen state, but when she was able to steer her horse again, I gave her back the reigns, now drawing my bow, turning around on my horse to shoot at the giant spider. But it didn’t seem like my arrows really seemed to bother the creature that was chasing us. And to my dismay, I hear the clicking sounds of several more coming through the woods.

They started to catch up to us, our horses slowly but surely loosing speed. And then it happened. We got circled by two smaller spiders dropping in front of us. Our horses freaked again, this time throwing us off their backs and making a run, only to be killed by spiders stomping onto them. Immediately they started to drag them away, probably into their net. I reached for another arrow, realizing, that I had shot every single one of them, without taking down one single spider.

“Fuck.” I let out, throwing my bow to the ground and dragging my swords.

“What do you mean fuck?” Leonor asked and I just gritted out: “Fuck as in we are fucked. I am out of arrows.”

“You shot all of them?” She asked and I wanted to smack her: “No, I threw them away. Of course I did!”

“No need to be so snappy.” She lashed back and I just looked at her with a deadly glare. “Oh yes, we are just about to die and I should play happy fun time with you? Forgive me for feeling a little stressed.”

“Its not my fault, that it happened.” Leonore seemed hurt and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “I never said it was. I am sorry for snapping at you. Its just… Ah forget it. Try to stay close to me, without getting in my way. If we are getting separated, I cant protect you and if you are in my way, I will probably hurt you. Just…” I tried to make it understandable for her. “…think of it as a dance.”

“A dance?” She asked and I could hear she was raising her brows. “Why would I think of this as a dance?” Shrugging my shoulders I swung my sword at the first spider stepping close: “I don’t know. You are the minstrel of us. I was just trying to make it logical for you.”

I didn’t hear what she answered, because my sword collided with the heavy foot of a spider, drawing an ugly screeching sound from it, as I cut through the hard material. Letting my second sword swing higher, I managed to stab it into the thicker part of the leg. Ripping out my first sword, I swung my body around and through the air, landing on top of the spider. I forced both my swords into its head, managing to down it. Jumping off, I faced the next one, but my fight seemed to have no end, as I saw that the ranks were quickly closed again.

A horn being blown and horses thundering through the woods made me catch a new wave of hope and I started to fight back harder, always making sure to cover my sister from any attacks. I heard yelling and arrows whirring through the air and I realized, that the spiders slowly but surely were thinned out. Facing another one, I was just quick enough to jump aside, as it launched for me. Rolling around, I found myself underneath its big body. Not hesitating a second, I stabbed my blades into its stomach drawing it along, as I ran to get out of there.

A mixture of spider blood, gushy intestines and a sort of dark slime covered me, as I stumbled out beneath the tumbling and falling creature. Catching my breath, I stood there for several seconds, trying to regain some strength and to get rid of the slippery mixture that covered me. When I was able to look back up, the rest of the spiders had either been slain or forced away, leaving us and the elves that came to our rescue behind. “Y/N! Leonor!” I heard Legolas yell, turning to look at him.

A sarcastic smile on my lips, I greeted him: “You seem to lack in your mission to clear the woods, my prince.” He gritted his teeth, hugging Leonor, but refraining to do the same to me: “You are as friendly as always, Y/N.” I shrugged, shoving my swords back into their sheaths. “What can I say. I was raised to be a sunshine.” But when I saw his father approaching us, I stopped talking, bowing to greet the king. “My king. I apologize for causing trouble in your lands.”

“No need to apologize. You were right. It seems as if my son isn’t particularly thorough with his task. I am the one in need to apologize as this has clearly endangered you and your…”

“Sister, my king.” I helped him out, still looking down on the ground.

“…your sister. Am I correct with the assumption you came to visit my kingdom?” He asked.

“Yes, my king. We came to visit your son, prince Legolas. He has invited us.” I answered stiffly, looking at Legolas for help. The blond elf just smiled at me and I dared to look at his father the first time. And what I saw knocked the breath out of my lungs. He was gorgeous to say the least.

Tall, strong, handsome. The similarities to Legolas unmistakable. And his blue eyes. Staring at me as if he was reading directly into my soul. I was totally caught of guard by his appearance, not realizing he was talking to me again: “I am sorry. What did you say, my king?” I barely remembered to address him by his title, but he didn’t seem to mind. Smiling at me, he repeated his words: “I was welcoming you to my kingdom. As it seems, something must have caught your attention, my Lady.”

“Y/N. Just Y/N, my king. I am no lady. Just a common soldier of Rivendell.” I corrected him, trying my best to hide my breathless voice. Thranduil looked behind me, the smile on his lips widening. “A very good one, as it seems. You took out two spiders on your own.”

“And I shot all my arrows without them having any effect.” I reduced his praise, not feeling comfortable with the king saying such high words about me. He clicked his tongue. “Ah, arrows barely have any effect on the spiders. Their shells are far to thick for them to penetrate deep enough.”

“I didn’t know, my king. The next time I will come prepared.” I said, bowing deeply again.

“The next time?” He asked with a smirk to his lips and I furrowed my brows: “Yes? Did I do something wrong, my king? If I have insulted you in any form, I apologize.” But Thranduil just grinned at me with a knowing look on his lips, before he turned around: “The next time you visit us, let me know beforehand, so that I can ensure your save journey. A lady like you must not face such beasts under my watch.”

“I can fend for myself!” I yelled after him, this time leaving out his title, as his assumption angered me. He looked over his shoulder, taking in my angry form for a moment, before he answered: “I know. But I would feel better if you were protected by my guards.” Then he turned around, looking at a light brown haired man: “Feren, ensure that Leonor and Lady Y/N have a horse to ride on and have a bath prepared for them.” The man bowed his head slightly. “Yes, my Lord.”

***

And that’s how I had met Thranduil. That was nearly 100 years ago. 87 to be exact. He had started to court me soon after that incident, sending letter over letter to Rivendell, to the point where even Lord Elrond heard of what was happening. In the beginning I didn’t think much of it, reading his letters as nothing more as friendly correspondence. Until one day he literally showed up in Rivendell, demanding to speak with Lord Elrond himself.

Later on, I was told, that Thranduil had demanded to know if I was forced to work too much, since I didn’t answer every single one of his letters. From then on, our letters turned into a frequent thing, until one day I asked Lord Rivendell to free me from my duties and to allow me to live in Mirkwood. Lord Elrond let me go with a warm and knowing smile, something I didn’t exactly know how to read back then.

But soon, Thranduil and my friendship turned into him making advances until I finally gave in to courting him. Thranduil had pulled every string he had, to get me to fall for him. He made sure that I was taken care off, that I had everything I ever wished for to the point where I literally had to fight him on lessening his extensive gifts, but there was nothing I could do to talk sense into that man.

And now here I was, sitting at the big banquet next to him. We had gotten married. Well technically we weren’t truly married yet, since for elves the marriage was only completed when the marriage was conceived. And to be honest, I couldn’t wait much longer. My friends and family had come to Mirkwood and wished me the very best. Even Lord Elrond had managed to fit in time to spare my marriage a visit, congratulating me.

I looked at my now husband, only to find him staring at me already. “You are so beautiful, my little starlight.” He whispered, reaching his hand for mine. I squeezed his hand, leaning in to his shoulder. “How long do we have to keep up this thing, until we can retreat?” I asked, the alcohol in my blood probably pushing me to speak this openly. Thranduil chuckled at my words: “So desperate already?” I smacked him on the chest. “Don’t tell me you aren’t.”

“At least I don’t show it so openly.” He teased me, kissing my hand softly. “Dance with me, meleth.”

Letting him pull me to my feet, he guided us to the dancefloor, pulling me close to his body and I could feel that he was longing for me the same way I did for him. His head sank down to my level as he whispered: “This one last dance should appease our guests. I think they already know what is about to happen, but it is much easier to vanish between dancing couples than from the high table.” I smirked at his words, leaning my head onto his chest. “Is that so, my king?”  I felt him shrug: “At least I suspect it would make things easier for Feren. He always seems to be so stressed.”

“That’s because you stress him, herven.” I answered and the way he stiffened at me calling him husband for the first time, made me smile. “Herven.” He repeated. “Say it again. It sounds so beautiful from your lips.”

“What? Herven?” I asked, putting a soft moan to my words. Thranduils breathing became rigid, as he clearly had trouble keeping the rhythm of the dance. He took a deep breath, before he simply ended the dance pulling me through the other couples. “You know what? Fuck it. I am done waiting.” Once we were far enough away from the others to hear or see us, he threw me over his shoulder, causing me to shriek out loud. “Thranduil!”

“Oh yes. That’s even better.” He grinned, carrying me through the halls and back to his chambers. “I am going to make sure that the only things that are leaving your mouth will be my name, my title and those sweet little moans or yours.”

***

Thranduil stopped in front of his door, looking at me with what I believed to be fear in his eyes. “Are you ready?” He asked me and I nodded: “Yes.” Taking his hand, I followed him inside. As soon as the door fell shut behind us, he pressed me against a wall, a sly smirk on his lips. “You have no idea, how much I waited to do this.” I didn’t react to his tease, just pulling him in by his collar, desperate to kiss him. His hands wandered to my waist, gripping the fabric of my dress.

I held onto him, still letting his hands wander over my body. “Are you sure, you want to do this?” He asked, his breath fanning down my neck, before he bit down on my sweet spot. Moaning at the sensation that rushed through my body, I tried my best to keep the conversation going: “Yes, I am. I haven’t been so sure about anything in my life, ever.”

“Good. Because I doubt, I would be able to endure the wait any longer.” His husked voice sent shivers down my spine and I had to hold on to his shoulders, to not faint. “You know what this perfume does to me, darling? The whole evening, I could not focus on anything else than you sweet smell. Do you even know, how hard I was all evening?” He picked me up, pressing me against the wall, looking at me with an angry hunger in his eyes. “I should not be commanded by a woman like that, especially not one that does it so easily like you do. It is endangering my reputation.”

“I think your reputation as the King is hardly attacked with you desiring your wife.” Trying my best to fight back against his administrations, I rolled back my head when his free hand opened the lacing of my dress, desperate to feel more of him. “What reputation, darling? Go on. Make your point.”

“The… fuck…” I cursed, earning a chuckle: “That’s very unladylike, darling. I should knock that word out of your brain.”

“You wouldn’t dare to do that. You love my dirty mouth.” I sassed back. He hummed at my words, just holding me tight to his body. “I do. And I want to make sure you are taken care off.” His words made me open my eyes again, leaning back to look at him.

He let me down slowly, still trying to hide his face from me, but I held his head, looking at him, when he let go of me: “No, please tell me. What are you afraid of?” I asked, stepping closer to him, but he just dodged backwards. Tilting my head, I followed him into the living area, effectively backing him into the sofa. When he sat down on it, I straddled his lap. “Are you afraid to be close to me?”

“No…” He breathed heavily. “Yes… I don’t know. I… I want to be close to you, but I don’t want you to feel forced. You know how it is… Wifely duties and all and I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but at the same time I want to feel you, hold you, smell you, taste you. Everything. I am in no place to expect anything from you, so I refrain from giving in to those thoughts too much, because I don’t want to make it too obvious to you, that my needs are currently overruling my consciousness. And now that I am close and… and alone with you, I realize that its much harder than I have thought it would be... I want this to be special to you. I want to be the loving husband you deserve, to let you know that you are my most priced treasure… That I would do anything for you.”

I just looked at him: “Are you… are you rambling? The elven king and man of precise language is rambling and stuttering?”

“Yes.” Was all he said. “And you currently sitting on my lap, dressed like that, doesn’t help my case either.”

“What's stopping you?” Letting my voice drop lower, I leaned forward, rolling my hips shamelessly over his lap. He groaned out, gripping my tighter. “Y/N… You don’t have to do this. I can live with it, if you aren’t ready.”

“Do I look forced, meleth?” I whispered close to his ear, nibbling on it. “Show me what it feels like. Please, meleth. Touch me. Please… be my husband.”

Thranduil let his head fall back, his eyes were closed, as he was definitely on his last straw of mindfulness. “How much do I need to push you, until you give in?” I giggled at his neck, making my way up to his chin and then hovering over his lips. “Would it help, if I lose my wedding dress?”

“You sound like a prostitute…” He gritted out and I just grinned wider. “And? Is it working?”

“Yes. And I don’t know if I like that thought.”

“Which thought? Me as a prostitute, or that I am succeeding to win you over that easily?” I kept on teasing him. Leaning back, I opened up the strings of my dress, pulling it over my head.

He balled his fists at my waist, his eyes forcefully trained on my face. “Both. But I would never let you become a prostitute.”

“Scared to share me?” Still keeping up my teasing way, I just sat on top of him, waiting for him to react. “No.” He gritted out.

“What's it then? Afraid another man might do me better?” Wetting my fingers with my tongue, I let them slide between my legs, stabilizing myself with my free hand on his knee. And when my fingers found my clit, I hummed in pleasure, still watching his face intently. Not reacting to my administrations, he spoke in a very forced tone: “You are my wife. There is no other man. Ever.”

“Hmmm. I like that, meleth.” I sighed, feeling how I grew wetter, so I dipped one finger inside my core, only to then put it to my mouth to lick it clean. “I like it, when you get possessive and confrontive towards other men. The difference of how you treat them and how you treat me, makes me feel special.”

“Does it now?” He sassed and I sighed internally. I finally had him broken out of his restrictive shell. I had my husband back: “Always has.”

“You really want to do this?” He inquired further and I nodded. “Yes. Please. I think I am ready.” Taking one last breath, he gripped my thighs. “Hold on.” Without giving me much time to react, he got up, walking towards the bedroom. “If you want me to do this, I am going to do this properly.”

“I know. Everything else wouldn’t be like you.” I grinned, hiding my face in his neck. He sat me down slowly on the edge of the bed. Then he stepped back, taking off his clothes one piece after the other: “If you are already naked, I shall be too. I don’t want to make you feel insecure.” His words made me blush and I stuttered out a quiet “Thank you.”  

Thranduil came back to me sinking further to his knees. When he was eyelevel with my stomach, he softly kissed it, then down my thigh until he reached my knee. “Lean back and relax.” His voice was rough, his warm breath sending goosebumps over my inner thigh.

“I want to watch you. I need to see you.” I whispered, stroking through his hair. His jaw clenched at my words, but he didn’t say anything, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to it. “If you wish so.” His fingers ghosted over my skin, leaving trails of goosebumps behind. “I will take my time today. I want to take care of you as good as I can.” He whispered roughly, kissing the insides of my thighs up to my core. I was too mesmerized with his softness, his blue eyes burning with love and passion, that I was incapable of answering him.

Then I felt his first finger touch my core and I stiffened up, digging my nails in his shoulders. He immediately stopped, looking up at me, waiting for me to relax. We stared into each others eyes, Thranduil kissing and nibbling on my thighs. “You are safe, meleth. Relax. There is nothing you have to fear.” Taking a deep breath, I focused on his eyes, relaxing as much as I could. And when he felt me giving up my barrier, he kept on pushing his finger inside of me. “See? You are doing great.”

I closed my eyes, the faint sound of his name on my lips and I could feel the familiar feeling starting to grow between my legs. Carefully he added another finger, scissoring them apart, creating a steady rhythm. “Let go, love. You are doing so good. Taking my fingers so well.” He praised me, his voice low and soft like silk. I could feel my blood rush to my face, painting it a light pink shade, my heartbeat thrumming in my ears, that I nearly missed his sweet little murmurs. His mouth wandered all over my thighs, my stomach, and hip bones, until he hovered over my core. “May I?”

“Yes…” I breathed out, moaning, when I felt his lips kiss my sensitive spot. Instinctively I spread my legs further, letting myself fall back onto the bed, one hand still clasping his free arm. “Thranduil…” I moaned, unable to focus on anything else than the man between my legs, lulled in by his sweet touches and soft little praises. “Please don’t stop.” I cried out, not really caring, that it was still the early evening, our windows hanging open, still a hurried humming coming from the big ball room.

“Never.” Was all he answered, slowly finger fucking me. It was ridiculous, how fast he was able to find the sweet spot deep inside of me. I heaved myself onto my elbows, wanting to see him, rather than just feeling him. And the expression that he had on his faze was breathtaking. Full of confidence and arrogance, a slight smirk forming on his lips, when he realized I was watching him again. “You taste so fucking good.” He groaned, raising his head to properly look at me. The shamelessness of him made me gasp out in embarrassment. His face was covered in my slick, eyes wild and hungry.

His gaze flickered between soft love and hungry possession as he was clearly fighting his urges to claim me. And I was absolutely turned on by it.

Thranduils smile grew wicked, when he saw how much I was affected by him. Wiping my slick of his chin, he licked his fingers clean, making a show out of it, simultaneously not stopping his fingers working my core. “You like that do you?” I wasn’t able to answer, just staring him in the eyes. “Answer me, my love, or I will stop.” He teased, some of his usual possessive self breaking through.

“Yes.” I pressed out, his name quickly following, when he curled his fingers perfectly against my sweet spot. Dipping down again, his fingers and tongue kept pushing me further down the road of my orgasm. The knot in my lower stomach starting to grow tighter, my legs wrapping around his shoulders, to keep him in place. I could feel my walls starting to flutter around his digits, another sign that I was close. The strength left my upper body and I fell back onto the bed, pulling his free arm close to my chest, nails digging into his skin. My eyes rolled back into my head as his name rang through the room, when my orgasm suddenly washed over me.

I felt him carefully pull out his fingers, his hands gently covering my cunt, as I just dwelled in the feeling. Tears started to form in my eyes and I tugged on his arm. “Meleth…” I mewled, desperate to feel him. He reacted instantly, getting up from his position climbing onto the bed and pulling me higher into the pillows. I turned around, crawling to the headboard falling to my stomach. “Feel you!” I pressed out, hugging a pillow tight to my chest.

Seconds later, I could feel his warm body hovering over me. I reached out for his hand that was holding his weight, clamping my fingers around his wrists. Sinking down on his elbows, he pressed me down, taking my hands in his bigger ones. The new intimate position making me feel hot and safe at the same time. His strong chest forced me down, chest hair tickling on my back, his thighs caging me in, as he buried me underneath him. “Thranduil…” I whimpered desperately, bucking my ass against his crotch.

He growled into my ear, his lips smothering me roughly, leaving a trail of wet kisses behind. “Please… I need you… Meleth…” I tried again, pressing up against his body, only to be met with him pressing me down further. “By Valar, please… I cant bare it anymore…” Begging for more, I cried out for him the tension in my body so high, that I was sure I would snap any moment.

His hands were roaming over my body, when he suddenly grabbed my arm, twisting me around. I shrieked and he instantly pulled back, skidding back to the edge of the bed, hands raised. “I am sorry, darling. I let myself go. Forgive me.”

“Its alright, Meleth. I trust you. I just didn’t expect this.” I smiled at him, reaching out for him. “Come back. Please.”

“What if I hurt you?” He stayed at the end of the bed.

“You wont hurt me.”

“You don’t know that!” He nearly yelled; the stress clear in his eyes. I gulped hard, seeing him irritated like that send a shiver down my spine. Taking a deep breath, I forced the unwanted thoughts out of my head.

“I know that you would never willingly do something that would harm me in any way. And that is all you can do. I trust you with all my life and I want this, meleth. I need this. Please. What can I do to make you believe me? To help you to trust yourself with me?”

“Promise to tell me, when its too much, or when I hurt you.” He rasped, slowly coming back to me, leaning his face into my hand.

“I promise.”

“Thank you.” He whispered, kissing my palm, before he sat back on his ankles, opening his breeches and I couldn’t help but stare at him.

His cock sprung free, hard, and tinted in a light pink shade, a drop of precum already crowning on his tip. “Fuck yes…” I breathed, staring at his manhood, not realizing, that he moved again, ridding himself from his breeches, crawling towards me again. He forced me to lay back down on my back and I just wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him flush against my core. That caused him to grind his hips against mine, eliciting a soft moan from my lips. I just clung to his body, squirming against his touch. “So needy.” He mused, kissing his way down to my breasts, taking one nipple between his lips.

Him sucking so delicately on my nipple, let me jolt in pleasure. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my thigh, twitching in anticipation. Supporting all his weight on one hand, he looked at me one last time, waiting for me to give him my consent. Nodding I bit my lip, bracing myself for what was about to come. He guided his hard member into me, very carefully easing his way in. I was still incredible wet from my previous orgasm, but I wasn’t prepared to take him, my body tensing up at the intrusion, making him stop mid movement. “Are you alright, darling? We don’t have to…” But I shook my head. “Go on. I want this.” 

Once he bottomed out, he stayed sheathed like that, distracting any thought I had with kissing me, until my head spun. It didn’t take long for me to grow accustomed to him, my hips starting to roll against him. I held onto his shoulders, looking him deep into the eyes. “I love you.” Thranduil nearly crumbled at my words, closing his eyes and groaning lowly. “Fuck me… That’s the hottest ‘I love you’, you have ever said.” Giggling I blushed. “I doubt that.”

“Not that it isn’t incredible to hear you say it in any other situation, but this… this just hits different. You trusting me like this... This memory will forever be my heaven.”

“You old romantic.” I groaned, but my smile betrayed me, him bending down for a kiss. “Always for you.”

Slowly he started to move, setting a slow and steady pace, fully set on pleasuring me as much and long as he could. My walls started to accommodate him more, relaxing around him. I hummed at the sweet feeling that started to spread through my body, my head sinking deeper into the pillows. “Yes…” I sighed, closing my eyes, just holding onto his upper arms.

“I love you, darling. Just relax and enjoy.” His words were water on a hot stone, instantly fogging up my mind, a light veil covering us.

He bent down to my neck, kissing it, nibbling onto my shoulder and a short worry of being marked up by him shot through me, but when he managed to hit my sweet spot, that worry got kicked out of my mind again. “Thranduil!” I yelped, digging my nails into his arms even more. “Do it again.” He growled against my skin, his teeth nipping on the sweet spot right under my ear. “Let me hear how much this pleasures you.” I complied to his demand, babbling before I even managed to filter anything that left my mouth: “Please… Give me more… I need more. Make me your wife, please… This feels so good. You feel so good. Claim me, please… meleth.”

“God, Y/N.” He moaned. “You are going to be the death of me…” The way he was so affected by it, only fed the tingly feeling in my body, spreading it to my limps. The tension in my lower stomach now growing bigger with every second, causing me to produce a guttural moan. I clasped my hand in front of my mouth, my gaze wandering towards the open balcony door, but Thranduil didn’t seem to mind one bit. Quite the opposite. He let out a growl, taking my hand away again. “Let them hear. Let the whole kingdom know, that you are my wife.”

Shifting his weight, he leaned back on his ankles, raising my hips, while fucking me deeper into the mattress. The new position caused him to hit a particular deep spot inside of me, pushing all the air out of me in a loud cry of his name.

“Say it again, little one. Let everyone know who you belong to.” He darkly smiled at me, his thrust not faltering one second. “So beautiful. So perfect for me. Taking my cock so well.” Praising me, he didn’t let go of my eyes. “Keep your eyes on me, bereth. I want to see you, when you come.”

I couldn’t help but stare at him, mesmerized by him, not able to resist the drawl he put into calling me his wife. His wife. That title alone did things to my mind, I wasn’t prepared for. The knot in my stomach was about to pop, threatening to pull me under. And by the way he was grinning, he knew. Knew from the way I shivered, the way my walls fluttered around his length. “Go on, my starlight. Let go for me. I wanna see those beautiful eyes roll back in your head. Wanna feel how you twitch around me and make a mess on my cock.” He spurred me on. And on cue I came.

Hard.

My back arched from the bed, eyes rolling back inside my head. I shivered in his hands in pure bliss of my orgasm, his name ringing through the room loud enough, that I was sure even the soldiers standing guard on the southern entrance were able to hear me. This orgasm was hard and fast, crushing into me like a rogue wave. Thranduil still kept his pace, thrusting into me, roughly praising me: “That’s it, darling. Ride it out. You are doing so good. Looking so fucking beautiful.” And I could feel my cum leak on his lap, drawing lush sounds from my core.

“Meleth!” I cried out, now completely kicked out of reality.” Crying out in desperation I reached out for him. Thranduil gave into my pleading, leaning forward again, pressing me down with his full body, effectively caging me in between his hot chest and soft mattress. “Yes…” I mewled, wrapping my legs around his waist, feeling him thrust much deeper into me. I was again babbling absolutely unfiltered: “Don’t stop, meleth. Makes me feel safe. So good. Thank you.”

“Of course, darling. Everything for you.” His voice sounded strained and I realized that he was close as well. “Its okey. You can let go.” I tried to get the words out straight, but another moan rippled through me, him groaning, desperately gripping a pillow. “No. I am not finished with you. I want you to come with me.” The pure determination and love in his words, striking me deeply, so that I couldn’t help but, whimper again. I earned a soft bite on my shoulder, followed by more praises: “Fuck yes… I love it when you do that. Taking me so well, moaning for me in such beautiful tones.”

Sneaking a hand between us, he pressed two fingers on my clit, sloppily rubbing circles over it. I clenched around his cock as an answer, goosebumps spreading over my skin, as he forced the fire to burn up in my body once again. A shiver ran down my spine, my walls fluttering around his cock, my legs wrapping around him even tighter. It spurred him on to fuck me even harder, his fingers moving faster, the sloppy kisses on my neck now closer to love bites than anything else. I started to shake uncontrollably, my body overwhelmed by the desire and stimulation that he had and still was administrating.

“I got you.” He rasped out and it was all I needed to hear. I came again, succumbing to a shivering mess underneath him, clamping down on his cock. “Fuck, Y/N.” He groaned and I could feel him twitch inside of me. The feeling of his hot seed shooting up my core made me whimper desperately and I couldn’t help myself but to think about what it would feel like to carry his child. Slowing down his pace, he rode out our orgasms, smothering every bit of skin with wet kisses. He was breathing hard, trying his best to catch his stance again.

Pressing me close to himself, he rolled onto his back and I was now lying on top of him. “You did so good, meleth nin. Took me so well. I promise I will always love and protect you. You are everything to me, the only thing I would give away everything I own for without batting an eye.” Listening to his sweet ramblings, I let the tears roll from my cheeks, cherishing his love and the sweet intimate moment between us.

To my dismay, it was interrupted far too quickly, when I felt the mixture of my slick and his seed trickling out of me. Wriggling in his arms, I tried to find a comfortable spot, but the stickiness just got worse. He was quick to realize what was the problem. Pressing a kiss to my head, he rolled around again, getting up from the bed. “Stay there. I will get something to get you cleaned up.”

I just watched him scramble through the room and come back with a bowl of water and a wash cloth. He looked so incredible hot like this. His hair messy and disheveled. Eyes still glowing with desire. And when he saw his cum seeping out of me, I believed to see his gaze grow even darker. I sighed loudly, catching his look with mine: “How was I ever able to deny me such pleasures…?” He laughed at my words, slowly sinking to the bed and cleaning me up with soft little touches. “From now on you will never have to. Whenever you need me, feel free to come and get me.”

“Even when you are in a meeting?” I asked and he smirked at me: “Especially then.”

#fem reader #fluff #smut #thranduil x reader #thranduil smut #lotr #the hobbit #thranduil

[strayheartless]

Okay let’s torture Zack today: ADHD PARALYSIS STYLE!

Getoutlfbedgetoutofbedgetoutofbedgetoutofbedgetupgetupgetupgetuplazazylazazylazy-

This has been going on for too long now. Why can’t he just get up, huh? Why does this have to be a fight every fucking time? Just get the fuck up dude!

He doesn’t move. Instead his thumb shifts to scroll past another video. He knows Angeals about to bang on the door and demand to know why he’s not out of bed; he knows it’s going to spark a lecture, and he knows his brain is going to feel like it’s been lit up like a firework just hearing anything other than silence. He’s not doing it on purpose. He knows he needs to move.

There’s a knock at the door, and that gets him moving. It doesn’t sound like Angeals knock, it’s too hesitant. Also nobody has walked in which means they don’t have a key…

He opens the door to Cloud who’s standing there looking a little unsure. “You good?” He gives Zack a once over, closing off a little at whatever he finds, pulling his scarf over his mouth in nervous habit.

“Yeah I’m fine why?” Zack blinks. What did he forget?

“We er, we were going to meet for lunch.” Cloud looked away from him, and Zack feels like a grade A asshole. “It’s okay if you changed your mind, it’s just- a text- I mean… a text would have- it’s fine.”

“Cloud I’m so sorry!” He cried trying to stumble around looking for clean cloths from the pile of washing that’s mixed with the dirty laundry on the chair. “I completely lost track. I’m- I- I’m reall-“

He hadn’t realised he’d started crying until Cloud makes him stop with a hand on his arm, and he takes a huge stuttering breath. Why does he keep doing this!? Why does he keep forgetting these things and then upsetting his best friend!

“Zack breath,” Cloud says, kind of commands actually.Zack stops and focuses a little more on taking some breaths.

“Good, that’s good. Just… did you forget or did that thing happen again?” Cloud asks and Zack holds up two fingers to indicate option 2.

“Okay,” Cloud sighs and tries a little smile that he only ever seems to give to Zack. “Okay, that’s fine. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you. Do you want to eat here, or do you think you need to get moving to kickstart something?”

Zack took another breath and struttered “m-moving.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you to get dressed then. 300 second okay?”

“Okay.”

Once Cloud closes his door again Zack moves around the room like lightning. He shoves on a shirt that smells clean, does his belt, grabs his phone and wallet and shoves his feet in his shoes.

Outside Clouds holding Zack’s coat out already and helps him into it.

“283 seconds. New record.” He bumps his elbow into Zack’s side lightly, making the other man laugh breathily.

“Cloud I really am so-“

“Don’t. I know you are and you don’t have to apologise. I get that it’s hard for you.” Cloud cuts him off.

Zack just looks at him. How can one person hold so much acceptance in one tiny body? How can somebody who’s known him for no more than a year accept and help him in ways not even his parents could.

Cloud never makes Zack feel bad for this. he never gets mad at him, when he has every right to. All Cloud has ever done is occasionally been insecure himself and even then he changes his approach when Zack explains.

“I really love you, you know that right?” He asks, wrapping his arms around Cloud. “Like, a lot,”

Cloud blushes “shut up,” he says, leaning into the side hug.

He doesn’t say it back, but he doesn’t have to. Zack knows Cloud loves him to and that makes all the difference in the world.

#oh oops this was meant to be angst #oh well #here have some fluff #ffvii #cloud strife #zack fair #crisis core #zakkura #implied zakkura #can be read as platonic if you like

[winniethewife]

*clears throat*

Hi, dearest Winnie❤️

Okay, so remember my very first ask of you ages ago was how moon boys were in an argument?

I'm here with another angsty thing, angst queen😈❤️

We know they are humans, right?

So they aren't always lovie-dovie, cute, and attentive to their partner. Especially after some years of spending together.

Like, some shit might happen and get them into a grumpy mood. I see this mostly with Marc, but I want your headcanons about all three and as their partner how to deal with them.

And oh, what gets them to be that upset to be a lil mean or avoidant to reader?

THIS HAPPENS OKAY?

I will fight anyone who says no, the boys are so in love that nothing like this could happen blah blah

They are human and they can feel down just like us and snap at the smallest things🤷🏻‍♀️

Hello Maniiii, this is very true, real people aren't always happy, even in a good relationship. So here we go.

Moody Moon-Knight System headcanons

Warning: violence, self-deprecation, general toxicity, alcohol consumption

Marc

Its hard to tell when Marc is in a real foul mood because he always seems grumpy

But at some point he'll get really snippy, every little thing seems to throw him off, the kettle going off, some small mess that Steven left out, he reacts with anger every time.

"This place is a fucking mess. Can't find anything in all this...shit!"

He doesn't shout much because Yelling reminds him of his mother, but he will snap and raise his voice.

When asked He doesn't want to talk about it. He avoids like its his full time job.

"I'm fine, just leave me alone!"

the hardest part is, there's not much you can do, when he gets like this he hardly recognizes anything you do to help, and if you fight back he shuts down even more.

the best way to help him, is to wait it out, he'll eventually come back.

Steven

Steven is hardly ever in a bad mood, so when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed it is an immediate upset to the day

When he's in a bad mood, he will be very self-deprecating, taking his bad mood out on himself.

"I'm sorry I'm such an idiot love, I honestly don't know why you keep me around."

when he's in a bad mood he gets very weepy and easily frustrated. Seeking out your affection and approval.

He'll usually give up on the day and just curl up in bed, staring at the wall and muttering to himself.

"Worthless, Just worthless."

the best thing you can do is take care of him, you could talk all day about how he's not any of the things he's not but it will go unheard. its best just to cuddle up with him and keep him company while he works though it.

Jake

When Jake is in a bad mood, he gets violent. the first time this happens he throws a plate in frustration and nearly missed you, it flew past your head and crashed into the wall behind you. That scared him.

after that first time, the only way you know Jake is in a bad mood is you wake up alone, a note hastily scribbled left on the pillow next to you.

"Out Driving."

you won't see him again until very late, some times drunk, but usually in a weird mood.

once or twice He has left for more than one day, and those times are the worst. not knowing where he was or whether or not he was okay.

No matter how long he wad gone he would always come back.

He'll want to lay in your lap and watch comfort TV with you after a long day(s) of avoiding his feelings.

He'll fall asleep there if you let him. mumbling slightly in his sleep.

"Gracias por quedarse. Te amo." Thank you for staying. I love you

~

300 follower celebration

Masterlist

#winnie answers #winnie does stuff #winnie celebrates #300 followers #300 follower celebration #head canons #moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #x reader #moon boys #angst

[farahtissaiamyloves]

Are your requests on? If so could I request something with Andromache? I love her and there’s not enough fanfiction out there with her

-Ara

Capture

Andromache of Scythia x reader

Note: I know that I've been gone for months. However, I've been preparing for the most important examinations of my life, and it's been really stressful for me. I hope you enjoy this and thanks again to Ara for the amazing request.

You were looking out of the only window of your room - more like a cell, but you had come to accept that long ago.

You considered yourself lucky - what they did to Quynh was by far worse from what was happening to you.

At least that's what you had convinced yourself.

Dying again and again, only to be brought back to life to die once again deep down the sea, was horrible.

However, being captured for (you had lost count) something more than 4 centuries was even more horrific.

You missed your best friend, of course you did, but the emptiness that washed over you at your wife's absence was something else.

You and Andy were the first immortal warriors. She had found you pretty quickly. You hadn't even understood when you died or what the weird dreams were before she sat you down and explained.

You hadn't been apart ever since. Spending every single day next to her was a privilege and a gift.

You learned so many things from her. After all, Andromache had already been alive for 300 years.

After spending a s couple of decades traveling around the world with her as your only company, it came to no surprise for neither of you when you ended up sleeping together one night.

And that night proved to be the beginning of the most wonderful thing that ever happened to both of your lives.

You loved every second of it.

You being wrapped in her arms while she was kissing the top of your head or you caressing her naked, extremely soft skin as she was wrapping a blanket around the two of you; Andy couldn't have her beloved baby catch a cold.

You teared up recalling your wife. Your beloved wife.

You wrapped your hands around your legs and pushed them against your chest.

You missed her.

You missed her so much.

After 5000 years and a couple of centuries, you were finally divided.

You looked up as you saw the door opening.

A paramedic came in with a huge needle.

Here we go again.

꧁☾︎❥︎☽︎꧂

Andy looked at the only building standing in the area. The only building among a plethora of trees and all kinds of plants.

" Alright, Joe, remind us one last time what we are her for. " Andy spoke.

" We are here to save all the girls/women those people experiment on. We don't know more, including the number of either the victims or the security agents, which means that caution is strongly recommended. " The man pointed out.

The rest of the team nodded, listening carefully.

Little did they know about who the real guinea pig was.

꧁☾︎❥︎☽︎꧂

They killed, killed, and killed once again.

They found countless of the latest laboratory equipment, yet no girl or woman asking for their help.

The team knew that it wasn't a trap.

No trap would have been equipped with so many tools costing millions.

Andy was growing more and more frustrated.

For a human with that much of an experience, she should have caught on by now.

" Guys, I think I found it. " Nicky whispered, pointing with his gun at the only door of the corridor at their right.

They as silently as they could run to it. The door did look like a cell. A bulletproof door with a password was always placed to hide something important, and the group came to this very same building for something important.

If they weren't able to free any innocents, they could at least learn what the fuck was happening there to put a stop to it.

Joe placed some light explosives on the door, telling everybody to buck off, which they were more than eager to do.

He pushed the button and a loud sound was heard, shortly followed by the sound of the door falling on the floor.

The team immediately raised their weapons and entered the room, shouting that they were armed.

Nile, who was the first to get in, quickly scanned the whole room and announced to everybody what they could already see with their bare eyes. " It's empty. "

Realizing that it was just a simple bedroom, the team was to turn away until Nicky pointed at the bed. " I think someone's sleeping there. "

" Don't be ridiculous. Wouldn't have they heard the explosives ? " Nile jumped in.

" Not if they were dragged. Guys, I think we found our victim. " Andy spoke slowly, walking to the bed.

She noticed that the person was fully covered by the blanket, so she slowly pulled it off only to freeze midway.

Andy knew that sleeping face.

Truth be told, she knew it better than her own face.

She had traced it countless of times with her fingertips.

She had seen all kinds of emotions on that face.

" A-Andy ? Is something wrong ? " Nile inquired, feeling beyond confused with the leader's teared up face.

" Shhhhh. "

Nile turned to look at both Joe and Nicky, giving her stern glances.

" What ? " She asked again, unable to understand where her wrongdoing was.

" Oh my love. I thought you were dead. " Andy whispered, kissing the top of your head.

She, then, turned to the couple. " Me and Nile are going to get her to the safe house. You make sure to clear everybody out and destroy this place. Nobody should know anything concerning our immortality. Was I clear ? "

" Yes, boss. "

" Good. "

꧁☾︎❥︎☽︎꧂

You slowly opened your eyes.

Sleeping under the influence of whatever drugs they were giving you had the luck and the curse of having no dreams.

You blinked, taking in your surroundings.

No.

Not again.

You hated when they were changing your room because that meant that they had given you strong enough medication to sleep for days.

Suddenly feeling unwell, you instinctively placed a hand on top of your head, and with the other, you pulled the blanket to cover you completely.

" You've already slept for at least 10 hours, I recommend waking up, eating something, and walking around for a while. " Suddenly, a voice interrupted your thoughts.

Your blood froze for a whole second, thinking that your wife just talked to you.

However, you knew better. Drugs have side effects. They made sure you knew each and every single one.

You didn't move - not even to look, still remembering how heartbroken you had been the last time you did - and closed your eyes to sleep.

" Darling, did you hear me ? " Andy made her voice sweeter, waiting for you to move and see her sitting on the armchair near the bed.

Andromache waited a couple of minutes to watch the lack of reaction. Maybe your hearing had been impacted, or maybe you were still hazy due to being drugged the day prior.

The woman sighed, sitting up.

" Sleep well, sweating. " She wished kissing the top of the blanket - where your forehead was.

꧁☾︎❥︎☽︎꧂

You were frozen on the spot. Your mind running a million miles per second.

In the back of your mind you registered her steps and the door opening and closing.

You felt it. You felt her lips through the blanket.

Your wife was here.

She rescued you.

You teared up, unable to resist.

Your wife came for you.

She hadn't forgotten about you.

She still loved you.

Your hand reached the other pillow of the bed. Slowly, as you were still slightly hazy from your sleep, you moved your head on top of it.

It was her.

Her smell.

She had you sleep on her bed.

How long had it been since you shared one.

You immediately wrapped your hands around it and pulled Andy's pillow onto your chest.

You loved her so, so much.

However, still being under the influence of the drug, you quickly fell asleep once again.

This time with your beautiful wife on your mind.

꧁☾︎❥︎☽︎꧂

Andromache came back into the room after a couple of hours.

She had to make sure that everything was taken care of as well as cook you some food.

Andy quietly set the tray down at the bedside table and looked at you.

A smile formed on her face as she noticed your figure wrapped around her pillow.

" Darling, you have to wake up. " She whispered with her sweetest voice next yo your ear.

You whined and turned your face away from her, burying your face in her pillow.

Andromache gently shook your shoulder while leaving small kisses wherever she could reach, mainly your shoulder.

You opened your eyes, slowly turning to face your one and true love, the very person to whom you have devoted yourself for a couple of thousand years.

Still feeling dizzy, you sleepily smiled at her as you reached to caress her cheek. " Morning. " Your voice was way too harsh than your normal one, as you realized you had probably spent a day without a single drop of water.

Andy kissed your forehead lovingly. She brought a cup of water to your lips and propelled you to drink some.

You happily did as Andy wanted you to, too dizzy to oppose her (not that you would have, you were quite thirsty).

As Andromache placed the cup of water back to its place, you took the chance to wrap your hands around her waist and bury your head in her neck.

Your wife chuckled at your adorable reaction and embraced you back, pulling your body closer to her.

" God, I thought you were dead. " She whispered, continuing washing your body with kisses.

" I... " You stopped midsentence, not sure about how what you intended to say would sound to her.

Andy gently messaged your sculp, silently propelling you to talk to her.

You took a deep breath as you turned to look at her with teary eyes. " I wish I was... "

Andy took your face in her arms. " No. No. Don't you dare ever say that. "

You shook your head, casting your gaze downward. " But, it's true. "

" If you had died, my love, we would have never reunited, would we ? " Andromache countered.

You hesitantly looked upward, at her beautiful striking eyes. " It was torture. "

Your wife gave you a sad smile. " I know. I know... But the important thing is that you are here, in my arms, safe and sound. "

You nodded reciprocating the gesture. " Indeed. "

" And just like back then.... We have all the time in the world to do whatever we please. " Andy's smile widened as her eyes narrowed meaningfully.

You laughed a little, wondering how could a single person delete 400 years of torture, but then again.

That person was your beloved wife.

Your Andy.

#andy the scythian x reader #charlize theron #andy the scythian #andy andromache of scythia #andromache x reader #andromache x you #the old guard

[alessandrxs]

HSHQTASK059

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i joined back in 2018 , which is crazy to even think about because it's now six years later ! i remember having seen the group a few times in the tags but didn't apply until a few months later ... but when i DID pluck up the courage to join , it was just before the olimpiel wedding which was so fun to be a part of ! i think i was literally just starting a new job too around the time i joined , so it was changes all around , which was really refreshing !!

2. which characters have you written over the years ?

too many ... starting with prycilla , aurora , danilo , amon , kris , ale , renee , aalayna , omari , pretty sure i had a kelsey merrit at one point , eloa , the madelyn cline and drew starkey i had for seconds , i think there was a sofia carson in there somewhere too ...

3. what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

being a part of the italy plotline was so fun ! i'm not good at politics by any means but being around people who had so many good ideas which would always boggle my brain bc i'm dumb as shit was so fun to be a part of ! but also , the egypt plotline will always have a place in my heart ...

4. what about other people's plotlines ?

so so SO many !! the english plotline , the french ..... i was always on the edge of my seat whenever they were written out on the dash waiting for the next person to reply so the tea could be dished out ! but honestly every single plotline was just so interesting and amazing to read that i was always in awe

5. who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

considering how many times i've brought him back after thinking his time was done , without a doubt my favourite would have to be ale ... i just feel like he became such a comfort character for me , especially since when i've been going through things he's always been the character i've reached out for to write ! but kris was also so much fun to write and then my fool of omari , he really was my comedic relief character !

6. if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

kris realising just how much of a prick his dad is and becoming firmly team silje <3 it was a defining moment for him , and now silje has a job and is in college !! she's doing so good !!!

7. is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

literally not a single one ! i loved all the twists and turns , seeing how things unfolded , it was fun to just be able to write them out and see where they led and go from there

8. what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

definitely the egypt plotline ... it happened at a time where i really didn't have time to be fully involved in and i think it's just been so unresolved , if only life didn't happen 😔

9. what is your favourite ooc memory ?

the panic in the ooc chat when evy fucked up the counting bot when we were at like 300+ ..... AKJDNFKJDF there are so many moments that i'll cherish forever but this one is the first that came to mind !

10. where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i have a tumblr for indie / 1x1 purposes which is @gcdlybehaviour ( currently under co ) and a discord that's with the same name ! honestly feel free to contact me at either of them at any time !

11. what else would you like to say ?

thank u all so , so much for all the memories and making hshq such a special place <3 i joined at a time where joining groups had become such an anxiety inducing experience for me but everyone was so , so welcoming and it soon became a place of comfort and to just get away from everything ! i've genuinely loved writing out every single thread , plotting out every single plot and just being able to be in an environment where everyone has been like a family ! i'm going to miss everyone so much <3

#hshqtask059

[sxslave4all]

This is/has took forever to type as I had to watch it was so mmmmm and knowing both would be having my mouth on them soon for this ho’s cum cleanup use. I almost came without touch. People say him and I are perfect looking couple….if they only knew couple would be stretching our title. I’m his toy, cum drinker, foot fucker, frustration absorber, anger post to use when in bad mood and can’t hurt the one that caused it so that’s what I’m for happy sad mad horny USE ME and I’m a rough sex / bdsm/bi/public humiliation type cum dumpster. Whip me and then let me suck your dick while you watch tv, eat, play on phones, watch porn just make my mouth and the rest be of use. These women messaging me with oh that’s terrible 🙄. Trust he wouldn’t remotely treat me anything but perfect until I told him what I like sexually and in general as a relationship-lovey, touchy, etc. my answer was beat me use me degraded makes me feel amazing. So why live a lie and play sweet vanilla when I want sizzling ghost pepper levels 🤷🏼‍♀️. I was trained young by my first boyfriend whom I was with for years. Once he was vanilla soon as done he said I can’t play a game-I want a whore who loves pain, fuck and suck on demand, will do women w me, someone who does everything I say and want no attitude whining or saying no. You disobey your punishment will be bad. You’d be taught that pain is also pleasure but also believe I’m the male your not so shut up and don’t open your mouth til I need it. You just look pretty and obey. You stay naked always at home and no matter whose there-naked. You fuck whoever and WHATever I tell you wherever however whenever I demand it. Cnc is a factor with some rough things I’ll set up to be done to you sometimes quietly or at a club or sometimes grabbed by a group while u walk to get my smokes half dressed also required. Nipples must always be hard and perfectly visible thru shirt. Skirt no panties and if you bend even a bit you’re on display and stilettosif out You’ll let them do what they want to you then come home get undressed…crawl to me and fkn apologize for them grabbing and having your body, yes you’ll apologize and beg me to give you punishment for a week, then you’ll straddle my leg ask nicely for my foot and rub yourself with it then you’d suck me for hours well I tell ya how awful that was of YOU to entice them. But one day it’ll happen and suddenly you’ll almost cum in excitement cause you love it. I’d whip you, restrain and tie you, I’d deny you then tie you down and put a vibe on your clit and leave for a bit while you cum 20+ times an hour. You’ll be used.By time he was done talking I was stunned. Suddenly he asked if I wanted a taste before deciding-seeing that secretly for some reason it was the biggest turn on. Dated broke upFound him married him divorced when he moved But he’s who finds my current owner. As it’s not easy to find men who want it 24/7 or rough and like my ex, for me it’s a 300 page contract. Do it all or none. So judge me cause I’m a slut I’m a toy. I enjoy punishment especially the worst ones. Judge me for getting off on it. I’m a tramp w holes for men why would I want it different? He’s the man. I’m his. Completely. And judge me for licking pussy and sucking dick—but i aint changing none of it. Having women involved is fkn hot sometimes I love watching his dick penetrating her and talking sweet blah the things I don’t want so he deserves to get those filled Shes more degrading She fills a need in me. And he provides everything for me and would buy me —what I want isn’t at a jewelry store it’s at a bdsm show. It’s who I am and it makes me hot and horny every day since my first. Thank goodness as my purpose starts with a collar, my knees and holes with a side of tits. So know I can’t wait to feel hit by the sting of a belt or inserting something in me and watching him get a kick from it. I’m here to make him happy so if he’s mad beat me til he’s not is my motto. Consent-means a huge difference it’s Shit we agreed on. Occasionally I get the smack across the face 😘

#use me however you want #lesbian sex #free use fantasy #praise k!nk #cnc sub #free use slvt #bd/sm rope #roped girl #ropeplay #degrade and humiliate me #degradation k1nk #degrading k1nk #bd/sm community #bd/sm brat #bd/sm dynamic #bd/sm kink #bd/sm pet #bd/sm relationship #bd/sm slave

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Valentine's Day (8) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven

A prickly considerate gift (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil finds a substitute for real Valentine's day flowers

Black Roses and Valentine's Chocolates (ao3) - FantasyChild9

Summary: It's Valentine's Day. Every year, on February 14th, Dan refuses to partake in any romantic gestures. So it was a huge shock when Phil walked through the front door after running some 'errands'.

Buying Chocolate At 3:00 AM (ao3) - shallowlives

Summary: It's just another late night working at Walgreens, until Phil walks in asking for chocolate recommendations.

Charmed (ao3) - hygge-ao3

Summary: Dan doesn’t understand Valentine’s Day. That is until he’s given an anonymous card with someone’s phone number in it. It takes months of talking with this anonymous person to learn who they are, and it ends up being the person that Dan least expects.

did you make me a video for valentine's day? (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan has a tradition, every year on Valentine's day he asks Phil the same question...

Dog Kissing Booth (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: When your boyfriend tears up while watching a Jenna Marbles video, there's really only one thing to do.

I Will Be Loving You (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first Valentine's Day out of the closet.

Letters, Words, and Poems (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: High School AU where Dan accidentally leaves Valentines in Phil's locker

reverie (ao3) - spaceandvinyls

Summary: phil gets a headache and dan comes home from louise's valentine's day party to help him.

Said Too Much (But Not Enough) (ao3) - amazingphiw

Summary: Phil tries to make Valentine's Day special again. Just for the two of them.

Secret Admirer (wattpad) - geniusotaku

Summary: Valentine’s Day special.

someone to you (ao3) - outphan

Summary: It's Valentine's Day and Dan got stood up.

Starlight and Valentines (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil Lester wants to surprise his boyfriend for Valentine's Day, but it looks like Dan had the same idea. This just means more fun for the two of them when Dan takes him on a mystery date to celebrate the holiday.

the better precursor to a good day (ao3) - megiaolf

Summary: Dan and Phil celebrate the day before Valentine's Day.

The Stars Aren't As Pretty As You - NeverlandNat

Summary: Phil tells Dan that he will be busy on Valentine's Day, and Dan is pretty upset about it. All Dan wanted was to spend Valentine's Day with his first actual Valentine! But maybe he will...

The Valentine's Day Classroom Helpers (ao3) - yiffandquiff

Summary: Dan knew the day was coming but that still didn't mean he was prepared, so when his son Oliver brings home a note saying Dan is due to be a parent for his classroom for the Valentine's Day party, he already feels a bit of dread. Reluctant to go, he meets Phil, another parent: who just happens to be the father of Oliver's best friend. And he realizes maybe it's not so bad after all.

Truth Or Dare - philipsenpai-fics

Summary: 'A Valentine’s date to make us squeal in less than 300 words.'

Valentines Day (ao3) - JulienneJc

Summary: It was valentine's day, and Dan and Phil were still, single as fuck. It was 11:30 am, and Dan was sleeping while Phil got out of the shower. Dan perspective flickered to the illuminating numbers on their digital clock. His brain steadily sorting out the information he is receiving in this early morning.

Phil walked in with breakfast, "You know what today is?"

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #dan and phil #masterlists #valentinesday #valentinesday masterlist

[iangallagherisadeadman]

i hate the plot of svetlana and her father/husband, but i saw it as an opportunity to reflect upon her character, her little milkovich child, her relationship with fatherhood, mickey and his involvement in yevgenys life.

obs. I'm NOT saying in any way that I believe Mickey has the obligation to raise Yevgeny as he didn't choose to engage in the sexual relation that led to Yev's conception.

svetlana and fatherhood

what was all of that about stevlana and her dad? i finished shameless and i still dont totally get it. was she really married? i believe so cause none of her other marriages were legal. how did that happened? what is her dad like? when she married her russian husband? just everything seemed rushed and i wish he had more info about it.

either way, I remember she said once to mickey that she named their kid after her father and hes like "didnt the bastard fucking sold you as a sex slave for like 300 dollars" (which I think is really nice cause that means she shared with him that information voluntarily) to which she responded something like "yes but still he had some good in him". later she says to kev that she supported her father and all that cause she owned him for taking care of her until she was like idk nine years old and could take care of herself and i remember seeing someone here saying it is probably because in russia is really common for the father to abandon his children so the fact he stuck around means a lot to her.

it all makes me believe that the image of a father is of importance for svetlana. doesn't that means that she would want mickey to be involved in their childrens life then? i mean he was for a while as she forced him to until his boyfriend kidnapped her children and babys father went to jail and then she held back and i understand it i totally do but now that they have all growned up and gallavich is a somewhat resonable couple with somewhat legal jobs and somewhat living an honest life wouldn't she want them in her and more specifically her childrens life again?

svetlana and mickey

noel once said in an interview for s5 that he believes that in some ways Svetlana is perfect for Mickey cause shes strong where hes not and she complements him, and i believe that too. at the beginning every time shes onscreen she looks scared as shit truly frightened but as the episodes go on and they interact more it seems like she can perceive how small and frightened mickey is under all that bad boy facade and she grows upon him and then they get in a fighting-friendly-respect-disrespect relation in which they recognize each other somehow, and than that went sideways after the whole yev kidnap. mickey probably thought he was wrong thinking he could ever play family, that he could ever be any different and be something other than a fucked up in the kids life, that hes not up to being a parent and that theyre better off without him and make them go away; he chooses to take care of ian instead of his family by s5 end when he said svetlana could leave if she wasn't accepting ian coming back to their house after kidnap episode.

fact is svetlana and mickey found themselves in challenging situations simultaneously. svet was an undocumented immigrant who resorted to prostitution as her only means of survival, while mickey grappled with complex issues involving his love life, sexuality, and the pressure to conform to his fathers expectations, leading a life he didnt desire. despite these difficulties they shared the experience of becoming parents at a young age which significantly altered the course of their lives and their relationship. they were both the source of pain and the potential for each other's salvation. their relationship was fraught with difficulties as mickey treated svet poorly, refusing to acknowledge her as his wife despite her longing for the american dream through marriage and family, which she quite fought for at the beginning when she seemed to hope he would eventually love her (she was gentle and submissive and played perfect little wife). instead, he agreed to fulfill a fatherly role, and they supported each other superficially, lacking a deeper connection. for mickey, lana was an instrument to appease his father while simultaneously being a painful remark of everything he wasnt and didnt want to be, all while introducing complications into his relationship with Ian.

even with all the differences they faced, they had a lot in common, as they both were young and trying to survive, living lifes they didnt choose, the whole respect for their piece of shit fathers that they shared, the fact theyre both queer, how they dont trust others and try not to rely on no one and solve things with their hands and they both have bad manners and dirty mouths and take aggressive approaches to solve their problems and are always scheming and find hard to change their nature. they have a lot in common and they got to find that out while living together and fighting each other, trying with effort to shape one another so they would comply to play the role and accommodate to the life each was expecting to build. svetlana made mickey take off the nazi posters he had as is stated in s3 finale and would threaten and blackmail him into doing what she wanted during s4, and he would do his best to fight her by trying to scare her with threats and make her submissive holding her in an inferior place by diminishing her and calling her names in s4 until they grow to a somewhat peaceful relation in s5 even including ian.

them as a throuple happy family worked for a while and i mean i doubt she has anyone even as close as a colleage in her life right now she doesnt trust easily and v and kev are out of scene and she is married to that rich guy etc. so having a friendly relation with mick again seems like doable? desirable even maybe for her? at that time by s5 they were both dealing with illegal jobs and svet was raising her kid barely by herself and mick was using A LOT of drugs like pills and drinking and cocaine and crack i think and still they made it work for a while so only imagine what they could do now that theyre both at their best.

after s11

also, she is married to that rich dude but its a fact that hes not going to live longer and i know my girl is smart svet did her thing secured that bag stole and gained and got what she could but the plot said that the marriage was under the regime of separation of property meaning she isnt going to get any goods after her hushbands death and probably is not going to have contact with her husbands family cause theyre not close so not only she will have freedom but she will be lonely right. until she finds her a wife at least.

I know the importance of family isnt for the milkovichs what it is for the gallaghers and that yev came as result of an abuse relation, but mick didnt seem to take that on the child once he was born and he was taking care of him, he didnt seem to resent him or hate him or see terry and be hurt by it. i mean he does process trauma in such unexpected unexplained ways that i cant really vision how he trully feels about yev, other than how he rejected fatherhood in s4 and his comments with ian in s11 about not believing he can be a good parent, but s5 in the police station theres a lot of "hes a good kid" from the officer and mickey holding and kissing yev only to take care of ian as debbie hold yev on the passager seat in the way home that was made on purpose and i perceive it as he likes yev but hes afraid to break him. idk if there could ever be the same feeling that lip has with fred, of wanting to be a better father for him than he ever had. thats probably not micks thing. but i can see him at some point wanting to know about yev, and who he became, what is he like, and bonding with him, even more so cause hes not bad with kids they would hit it right away. probably a more friendly bond than father son tho. as for ian, there is that deleted scene of him visioning him mick svet and yev as a happy family and even thought he was maniac i think that came from the heart hes good with kids and he wants a family with mick and he lived a nice life with svetlana and he said to fiona he loves yev.

headcanons

there is the fact that svetlana probably never talk about mick and never went to see him anymore onscreen cause mick might probably not be babys dad but i like to think yev really is a milkovich just because they reproduce like fucking rabbits and i think thats really funny. also the beggining of s6 makes it clear he had done jobs from inside jail before so that he could get commissary money and svet could raise yev with her share, so s6e1 states they somewhat worked together which leads to suppose svetlana and mickey hold a friendly relationship even after they fight cause ian kidnapped yev and mick kind of kicked her out their house, AND since she asks ian to accompany her in the visit shes ok with him too it seems. ALSO not only i think is reasonable to assume they kept in contact for a while when he was inside and only got some distance as she was building her life with her relationship with kev and v and the allibi and he started getting involved in dangerous stuff with the mexicans (since in theory she visited him with divorce papers), i truly believe they only cut off contact completely when he told her he was leaving for mexico cause i mean he told terry i truly believe he told her too.

like i know a lot of people want galladads but i just see it as unresonable they came out of jail theyre traumatized and never done therapy ian fucking stole a baby and that baby was under micks supervision they fucking suck thats the true!! and i would kind like to see them taking responsibility for yev and bonding somewhat. just imagine what kind of parenting that kid would have hes probably unhinged since his parents are freaks. also i think that the more your parents control a kid the more they want to be a rebel (karen-like) and since he was raised by horrible people he is probably the opposite, really calm and mature for his age etc kind of like liam. hes also probably smart since he had a good education and speaks a lot of languages like svet, and aggressive but not fist like? i can vision it, mick telling him about what he was up to when he had yevs age and them playing videogames and mick like spitting on the floor or idk trying to teach him how to fillet a fish and yev totally disgusted by it cause hes a rich little motherfucker and then yev enthusiastically trying to explain the last robotic ethics article he read and is really excited about and making science fiction comparisons so that mick can understand it. OH ALSO also i believe yev is really into the fact hes half russian and knows a lot about its culture and all and wants mick to know more about ukraines and eat their food and know their history and learn their langague and that makes mick PISSED i just know it.

#!: ☆ other posts of mine include: shameless hot takes ; shameless x arctic monkeys ; gallavich x this velvet glove ; shameless moodboards ; shameless playlists ; saddest character ending: karen

#idc what everybody says svetlana and mickey are kind of a badass couple #i like their dynamic more than lana v and kev #yes theyre mean to each other but i kind of dig it #i just wish they hadn't provoked so much suffering #i also know for a fact they had a lot of sharing and more friendly moments and i wish we saw those onscreen #this is probably the healthiest milkovich marriage until then #yes she suffered a fucking lot cause she cared for the baby and she is a woman and theres power inbalance between them but fuck #didnt i thrilled every time they interacted #nobody ever speaks about the amount of drugs mick use in s5 too and it always bothers me soo much like baby what is it that ur running from #anyway i really want to read fics like this in which svet and mick after s11 raise yev #rambling non stop lol #shameless #svetlana yevgenivna #mickey milkovich #yevgeny milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich #galladads #og.

[charmixpower]

Issue One: The Castle

I love how excited Vanessa is to see a fairy school, she's so down for this fairy stuff 🧚‍♀️✨

"They do that sometimes." What does this mean?? Like some barriers just inherently keep magic-less out without even being programmed to do that?? Wild

Also the collective term for magic users in the comics is "Magicians" which is interesting. Like you have your technicians, your politicians, and of course your magicians. Important jobs in the magical dimension

I definitely like magus and magi more bc it sounds fancier for my own stuff but I'm now going to call the Winx magicians in canon thank you

The implication being that Mike kept this phone on him the entire time instead of giving it to her before they left to the magic dimension

Tho this does contribute to why Bloom was so upset about what Tecna said to her, her dad literally just got her this phone

The fact that he still has his face is so fucking creepy

According to the comics, Alfea is a five year school

Which, according to my research (aka texting my Italian friends) is normal in Italy

Also why is talking to them like their freshmen??? Italian freshmen are 14, they're 16. They've cut out two of those years already

Because the Winx are 16, that means Bloom skipped two whole years of magic school

They're probably on intermediate spells at this point no wonder she struggles so much in the first ep

Tbh she should be struggling more

Alfea is the only fairy school in Magix, CT is likely the only witch school, idk about RF bc is it really even a magic school??

The implications of how big the magical population is compared to the rest of the dimension is insane if the entire magical population of one planet can fit into two schools

Six billion, which was the population of earth in 2000, is gonna be our stand in for how many people are on Magix

Alfea is a boarding highschool, and at most schools like that hold about ~1200 students, usually they only hold about 300-400 students

If we were to put the number of Alfea students at 1200, the fairy population of individual planets (bc in later seasons we only see one magic school per planet too) is about .00002% of six billion

And pretending that Wizards, Witches and Faries are just as common as each other for a moment, that would make the magician population per planet .00006%

Or per every 6 billion people there are 3600 magicians

And that's at most

You are more likely to win the lottery because that's 1% of 292.2 million

This one line of dialogue has so many implications to it omggg

I love how Bloom is excited to see some witches and Stella is like "Woah woah woah there, hold your fucking horses. Witches are to be avoided and disliked." No other place is the division between witches and faires seemed more like a very weird magic caste system

I wonder what would have happened to Bloom if she presented as a witch instead of a fairy... unlikely because Bloom doesn't have a negative bone in her body, but she and Mirta could become besties

The Trix would also have a much easier time manipulating her...rip Bloom

You know I just realized

Princess Stella di Solaria gets a room for herself, but Princess Varanda di Callisto doesn't. This is also true in the show, which sorta calls into question the idea that Stella has no roommate just because she's a princess

I love how Tecna's dialogue here comes off "She left because she's offended by me." Sounds like something that would come out of an extremely annoying person's mouth but Tecna means it literally

I love her

I really like how the comics use the idea that Stella can't transform without her ring by having people fighting with her stop her from using it

It's a really good and compelling way to use that piece of plot that the show only remembered when it wanted too

Also Stella saying Domino strengthens the connection between the sword ring and Domino but it's very very weird

Where is the favorite??? Where is the drama??? These are just three nomral ass bitches, and one is wearing a collared crop top

-10/10 not impressed

Seeing them do magical battles without transforming is so fucking weird

It's like the uncanny valley for Winx, they aren't supposed to be doing that

In this house we hate comics Griselda

Seriously what the fuck is this dialogue, fucking YIKES

#Winx club #Rus chatters #Rus liveblogs #Winx comics #Winx comic #long post

[vrishchikawrites]

Aren't JC's thoughts and fears pretty normal and that he has the right to think that the first thing Wei Wuxian should have done upon resurrection is head to Lotus Pier and explain himself? When family members start dying, aren't explanations in order?

JC trusting WWX so much is one of the things that added to the tragedy and keeps him up at night. He lets his brother get away with so much! He's just less stringent about orthodoxy and willing to roll with it if WWX says everything's under control. Wei Wuxian couldn't keep up the pretense forever, but he still managed to last as JC's right hand for THREE FUCKING YEARS without JC catching on just because he trusts WWX that much. WWX isn't being fully honest, but JC trusts that he knows what he's doing and means well and so just rolls his eyes when WWX says shit like "The more you ask me to do something the more I don't want to" and goes day drinking without helping with the rebuilding while JC works late every night.

When WWX breaks out the Wen in what is a political disaster for Jiang Cheng and is doing mad science just because Wen Qing asked when JC asked him fifty million times to teach even just one sword class, JC lashes out and gets his feelings hurt but agrees to the ruse. After WWX broke with the Jiang, it's Jiang Cheng's idea to give him nephew naming rights so he still feels included in their family, and then WWX loses control and kills the father of said nephew which is a little awkward emotionally. But even then as furious as he is he doesn't take the pledge with the others and holds his disciples back, and then WWX hits Yanli with a zombie and JC has to hold her as she dies in his arms. Jiang Cheng continued to trust and love Wei Wuxian and keep him included in their family throughout the entirety of the first life and then his entire family died and he started questioning this decision.

Even the whole consent issue with JC is wild because he should have just told him. He would have understood considering JC himself sacrificed his core.

Um.

That's a whole lot of CQL and fanon you just dropped into my inbox, love.

The novel was pretty explicit when it described what was happening immediately after the war. WWX not putting any less effort. In fact, majority of the new recruits joined Yunmeng Jiang because WWX was standing there behind JC.

WWX DID have it under control. You may want to read up on that ambush scene a little more.

Cause. Dude. Jin Zixuan may have died but no way was it 100% WWX's fault. You don't just lunge at someone surrounded by 300 armed men trying to kill him and ask him to peacefully walk into a trap, all the while siding with the asshole trying to kill WWX.

There's a two year gap between the rescue of the Wens and the ambush. During that time, WWX was just chilling and keeping the Wens alive. Not a single incidence of any loss of control reported.

Fifty million times? I don't recall reading it once in the novel but I went and confirmed it with my friends on Discord too. And nope, didn't happen. It is CQL bs. So is him drinking away and being drunk. Because in novel canon and according to MXTX herself, WWX's drunk self is virtually indistinguishable from his not-drunk self. The only time he is remotely tipsy is during the bathtub incident (if you know, you know.)

Doesn't take the pledge? Holds his disciples back? More CQL bs. He was there in the ceremony watching them burn the people who saved him burn alive. He also knew exactly who were in the BM, including a fucking toddler.

Remember a-Yuan? And his grandmother? Who had her fucking head caved in? And who was thrown into the bloodpool with no proper rites and rituals?

Who lead that siege into the BM?

Jiang fucking Cheng. He LEAD. They wouldn't have been able to pull it off without him.

And JYL? Dude. Do you understand the situation at all? Thousands of people gathered for the sole purpose of killing WWX and the 50 people he protected. They attacked first. WWX retaliated. JYL ran into an active battlefield, no one knowing she was even there. The first hit was an accident. The second was her protecting WWX.

Do you understand? That was foolish choices made out of desperation from the only other person alive who truly loved WWX at that point.

WWX lost control after that. Rightfully so. But even before that, the situation was messed up enough to warrant ANYONE snapping.

Love and trust? You understand JC nearly strangled WWX to death? And then gutted him in a staged fight? WWX literally had to stuff his organs back in? And he declared him the enemy of the cultivation world? And blamed him for rescuing people instead of keeping his head down? His entire family died because the cultivation world is messed up, not because WWX is uncontrollable. The Wens attacked CR unprovoked. They would've done the same to LP. And they did. WWX just became a convenient scapegoat. It is funny how the fandom takes JC's delusional rant about it being WWX's fault so seriously.

JYL died because she ran, unarmed and untrained, into an open battlefield, where WWX facing thousands of cultivators determined to kill him and just 50 old or infirm people, alone? And that she threw herself forward to protect him?

JC's grief about losing his sister and parents is understandable, but let us not ignore the huge part he played in the mess post SSC. Even the villian called him out on his stupidity.

There's a reason why no one but Wangxian is rewarded at the end of the novel. No one but them deserved any measure of peace after their colossal fuckups.

The consent argument is done to death. I won't rehash it. And JC didn't know he was gonna be losing his core. If he had, he wouldn't have fucking moved from his place.

We all know what happened after the GC transfer was revealed to him.

He just blamed WWX and tried to hold him to a debt that shouldn't rightfully exist in the first place.

I've read the novel before it was even translated by seven seas. I still remember what the og canon JC is like. Unfortunately for many stans, JC *is* an antagonist seething in his resentment and jealousy. And he remains that way till the very end.

#wei wuxian #mdzs #reader asks #re: jc #canon jiang cheng

[dumbasswhatever]

Responding to your unrecomendation, mine would be scum villain self saving system. It's a Chinese bl novel. It's about a reader, Shen Yuan, who got isekaid into the novel he hate-read, as the villainious teacher, Shen Qingqiu, that abuses the protagonist. Ofc he strives to do the opposite within the limits of ooc. So why it would be my unrecomendation is three point:

1. Resolving the protagonist dilemma.

So the protagonist, Luo Binghe, in the og novel is a tyrant with 300+ wives so he's kinda fucked bc of his childhood trauma. He's a paranoid, power hungry and lust hungry. So ofc Shen Qingqiu tried to treat him better in this one. Except that the author doesn't extend more than that. This kid has no friends other than his childhood bestie. Where's his other friends? Classmates? Bonding between children that can help foster good emotional connection and be a normal teenager? ZERO. Author wrote him to only rely on Shen Qingqiu emotionally and never addressing his previous trauma under the og villain. It's still there!! And it effects the whole novel!!! He's emotionally unstable.

Luo Binghe was so obsessed with him he literally kept Shen Qingqius corpse in his bedroom for five fuckin years, while SQQ junior tried to get him back for a proper burial. When he did find SQQ, Luo Binghe feed him a parasite that can track him anywhere. WTF.

2. The harem.

In og novel, all women are his wives. So what happened to them in this one? Well. They do get mentioned. But barely. One was an airhead but she got more sensible and thats it. Thats all??? I know bl has issues with how they treat their female casts but damn author you could've made them lesbians at the least.

3. Shen Qingqiu himself.

Personally I see him as someone who views the protagonist as a son/student so when people said "oh the characters said that SQQ is mourning for Binghe like a widow mourning for his husband >><<" i get pissed cause father mourns too!!! Teachers mourns as well!! Does platonic relationship means nothing?? Also even if Shen Qingqiu is an unreliable narrator, I can still read that how he views Luo Binghe. Definitely not romantic. Also the fact that he was forced to became Binghe's stay at home wife when he's literally THE Head of Scholarly Peak?? Who loves to explore and record weird plants and animals? Sir. What's the damn difference than a normal het novel then?? Other than no baby and pregnancy. What's the damn difference than the og protagonist having 300+ wives who were shut in his palace than this Binghe with a man who became a shut in? HEAD IN HANDS

I have so many grievance with this book cause it could've been better. Not even counting the teacher-student relationship and many other red flags that are flying actively in this book. I am tortured with visions. Everyday im gripping the sink, saying "It could've been better. But it DIDN'T."

Definitely do not recommend 0/10 dont do this don't read this book. Its better to read other things like a textbook maybe. Sorry if this is long i can only hope that you're entertained. Best regard.

i am very entertained holy hell thank you for the essay. also this book is O_O huh. the basic concept (like making a story/character happier out of spite) sounds like it could be a very fun read but then every single other detail you listed is like hoooooooly shit. this guy's got 300 wives and doesn't have a single relationship with any of them

[themculibrary]

Easter Masterlist 3

part one, part two

A Easter Surprise (ao3) - olicityfan15 frank/david T, 1k

Summary: Frank and David have started a new life together and for their first Easter, David has a huge surprise for Frank.

agony in the garden (ao3) - AliuIce0814 steve/bucky G, 696

Summary: Easter cuts through Steve to his marrow. Easter means a year since Bucky turned to ash three feet from his arms.

A Parent's Burden (ao3) - Marv-with-a-v (Marv_aka_Kitten_Writes) G, 1k

Summary: How do you set up an Easter egg hunt for a blind child? The same way you do for a sighted child, only with a little more creativity. But with every egg Matt finds, Jack finds a little something himself: hope that maybe, just maybe, things are going to turn out okay.

Boiled Eggs and Onions (ao3) - Siberianskys maria/bobbi T, 594

Summary: Allbingo Food Fest Prompt: Easter Eggs Ladiesbing Prompt: Spring

Easter Egg Hunts (ao3) - Toxictimefanfics_Orphan_Account tony/stephen T, 2k

Summary: Basically I wanted a fic where Tony and peter got to meet Stephen's family without them immediately hating them (Victor doesn't count) also nobody freaks the fuck out in a bad way when Stephen reveals he's Sorcerer Supreme.

Easter Shenanigans (ao3) - Jellybean96 skye/grant G, 2k

Summary: Basically what the title says

Holiday Spending (ao3) - tisfan bucky/tony E, 70k

Summary: anonymous asked:

Winteriron collage au w/fake relationship; Tony asks Bucky to be his fake boyfriend, either to shake off some matchmaking friends or to piss off Howard. Turns out Bucky is all Tony ever wanted in a boyfriend. Too bad it's not real (extra angst if Tony paid for Bucky to act as his boyfriend, now Tony wonders if it was all for the money). Happy ending?

Loki and Steve's eggcelent adventure (ao3) - aLoggedInReader loki/steve G, 5k

Summary: Easter is coming up and weird things start appearing in front of Steve's door. Figuring out who they come from is not that hard, figuring out the why is a real head scratcher though.

Of Pink Easter Bunnies and Drawing with Cap (ao3) - Stories_can_make_us_fly steve/bucky G, 1k

Summary: Bucky didn’t expect their Easter Sunday to turn out like this. Then again, what had he expected when Tony Stark had invited them to a picnic in Central Park with the Avengers? And really, having Steve by his side was all he needed anyway.

Picture Perfect (ao3) - Everythingirl44 lincoln/skye G, 592

Summary: "I don't understand why I have to wait in a two hour line for a picture." Daisy mumbled, gently lifting their daughter on her hip.

"Because it's her first Easter, she needs a picture with the bunny."

Or

Daisy gets irritated waiting in line to meet the Easter Bunny.

Resurrection (ao3) - Eledhwen G, 1k

Summary: The city is too quiet in these odd, odd days, and Matt cannot sleep. He has been out every night, prowling the rooftops in the shadows, but the sounds reaching him are sounds he cannot help with. The violence on the streets has stopped; the violence in people’s homes, he cannot help with, though he wants to.

run baby, I'll catch you when you fall (ao3) - HogwartsToAlexandria G, 300

Summary: Memories are sometimes all you have left.

Simple Moments (ao3) - MissAdoration steve/natasha, clint/laura G, 29k

Summary: Just a little insight into what happens at SHIELD besides the craziness that happens within the stories of “Love Through the Pain”

Tampa: A Visitor's Guide (ao3) - DJClawson matt/theo, foggy/marci T, 4k

Summary: Theo takes Madame Gao's advice, and Matt learns to deal with feelings.

The Easter Hunt (ao3) - NovaRain, STARSdidathing loki/tony G, 1k

Summary: Tony is an Easter Bunny hurrying to collect some last minute chocolates, all while being watched by a certain smitten fox.

The Simmons Family Easter Luncheon (ao3) - RoseDeVents jemma/grant E, 3k

Summary: Jemma brings Grant to Sheffield to meet her parents over the Easter holiday.

#themculibrary #marvel #mcu #masterlists #easter #easter masterlist

[infamousbrad]

"Tell me, who goes to Hell?" "Um, sinners, I believe."

Remember that episode of M*A*S*H where Hawkeye asks the chaplain "who goes to Hell?"

Hazbin Hotel is apparently going with the same interpretation that I was taught in my (mostly Independent Fundamentalist Baptist) theology classes: nearly everybody. Just like it says in Matthew 7:13-14. Let's say that only a generous 1 out of 30 dead people go to eternal Heaven, like it seems to show in Hazbin Hotel, and everybody else deserves eternal Hell.

You don't find this in pre-Macedonian-era religions, you know. For almost all of recorded human history, basically every religion taught that maybe 1 per 1,000 people are lucky enough to go to heaven, most of them nepo babies because they have at least one divine ancestor, yes.

But fewer than that, maybe 1 per 10,000, are bad enough to deserve a customized torture pit in Hell. Usually only the most popular, wealthy, or politically powerful sinners, the ones whose monstrous examples lead the most people into sin, are tortured eternally as an example to the next 100 generations.

Everybody else? Seems to spend some time as a time-looped ghost in a purgatory-like realm, getting over their life habits and their life trauma, before their soul gets a new life, another chance to be morally heroic.

But, man let me tell you: humanity in general started getting more spiteful about the dead, some time between around 300 BCE and 300 CE, because this idea came out of nowhere but then really took off like a rocket:

"Fuck people, they're all no good, except maybe me and a couple of people like me. Fuck purgatory, fuck reincarnation, everybody but us gets creatively and specifically tortured forever, 'cause that's what they all deserve. And if my tribe and me don't watch our asses, we'll deserve that too. Humans suck. To literal Hell with all of us."

And yeah, I've read enough history and theology to know the literary history of this idea, where and roughly when it originated and how, by sword and famine and gun, it was spread.

But I also have seen that nobody has the guts to say this to a grieving family at the funeral, no, everybody's loved ones are in heaven at the funeral service. Only a few of us are so devoid of empathy to say it to their faces; only the worst of the worst stick by their guns on that, people addicted to hate. Only the actual worst of the worst of us, yes again, maybe 1 per 10,000, are so psychopathic as to tell the grieving that their loved one is in Hell.

When we're facing the grieving, everything we've learned and everything we've said and everything we think we believe collapses ever so briefly in the face of naked human sorrow and we all of a sudden know, again, that there cannot be a molecule of justice in the universe, let alone the heavens, if 29 out of 30 people go to Hell. Can't be. But then we leave the funeral and that 2,000 year old moral illness creeps back in.

So here's my question. I mean, I've read a fair amount of history but I genuinely don't even know where to look for this answer, do any of you know?

What the actual fuck happened to us around that time?

What was going on back then that this obviously wrong sick and twisted meme got so dominant? What changed? Whatever it was, is it why so many of us are still trying to convince ourselves and each other that it's true? Why do we want it to be true, why do we hate ourselves and each other this much?

#theology #history #heaven and hell #hazbin hotel #discourse

[separatist-apologist]

What do you think would be the reaction of acotar men to an accidental pregnancy from the most panicked to the most relaxed?

9. Rhysand- we all saw what he did. From impenetrable shields to keeping a fatal pregnancy from Feyre, I have to question- did anyone even throw her a baby shower? Was she having FUN? Blah blah trauma response, Rhysand is at the bottom.

8. Jurian- I just know the words, "It's not mine," slipped out of his mouth the minute he saw those pink plus signs. It becomes a funny story in nine months but in the moment it was a massive fight.

7. Tamlin- Can monsters make babies? Tamlin is EXCEPTIONALLY stressed out. What is this baby coming out as? HORNS? He does not vocalize those fears which makes him stressy for 9 months. Baby is born, their only crime having blonde hair.

6. Azriel- Panicking x 1000. A baby? Oh my god. How did this happen? What do you mean all the fucking? We were so careful, he swears, forgetting the NON STOP fucking. Okay. No this is fine. He can do this. Azriel is NOT panicking. He is very fine, he is just ordering every parenting book he can find on amazon and has self-signed himself up for 3 birthing classes.

5. Eris- What the fuck do you mean, A BABY? Do I look like I change diapers? Put it back. Joins Azriel in that birthing class. They do not make eye contact (or maybe they do idk Azris is compelling)

4. Helion- in his defense, he's being told 300 years later and he has some questions. That ginger man is WHO? The scowling male with his own baby is MY son? Helion is suspicious but over all pleased once he considers that being a DILF is practically his birthright.

3. Cassian- momentary panic over wings/pelvis debacle. Did anyone tell him she changed her body? Immediately plasters signs on every street post, Nesta's grumpy face with the words WERE HAVING A BABY just beneath in green lettering. At the baby store buying a stroller before Nesta has her first scan.

2. Lucien- OH GOD OKAY ITS HAPPENING. Definitely cries. Over-prepared but not overbearing. Has a hospital bag packed by the 4th month though, immediately forgets it when labor begins.

1. Tarquin- Best man. So happy, so laid back. Unbothered AND proud. A baby? What a gift. Keeps no life threatening secrets, does not lock wife in a shield where no one can smell her. Shows off baby bump every chance he gets, Mufasa-like joy when baby is born, showing it to the city

#unwilling to take feedback at this time

[lost-between-letters]

Falling Asleep Next To You

Pairing: Crowley X Reader (she/her)

Requested by: anon

Written for: my 300 follower celebration

Warnings: none, maybe some playful insulting

Word Count: 752

Summary: Crowley wanted her to come to bed. He had some convincing arguments

"Love do I have to burn that book?" For all that she knew, Crowley could have materialised out of thin air right in front of her.

Y/N was fairly sure he did not. She was also fairly sure that she might die of a heart attack if he kept scaring her like that. Or kill him if he came anywhere near her book.

With a hand on her chest, Y/N looked up to stare him down. Nobody touched her book. Not even the king of hell. "I will stake you if you- what is that?"

... Who was wearing a thin worn shirt and sweatpants. What universe was it again?

Crowley scoffed. "It's one in the morning. We spent multiple nights together, you should know that I own different items of clothing, mouse."

"Is that a pajama?" Y/N wanted to know, completely disregarding the truth in his statement.

She stood by her words. Crowley barely ever left his suit for any other item of clothing - if he got out of it, it was usually because she tore it off of his skin.

Another indignant huff pushed Y/N out of the more pleasant memories. "I came to get you to bed. It's well past a reasonable time to sleep."

"And you say that because?" Y/N asked amused and finally put a bookmark between the pages.

"Because," Crowley emphasized the single word as if Y/N was being unnecessarily dense, "I'm tired and wish to go to sleep with you now."

Huh? "But you don't need to sleep."

"My God, woman!" Crowley threw his hands in the air. He was very obviously barely stopping himself from turning her into a rat.

Not that he would actually do that. Y/N was pretty confident that he would not change her appearance. He liked the current one far too much. Also, it was very funny to watch Crowley get increasingly annoyed with her.

"Aren't you representing the very opposite of Him?"

"I love the feeling of falling asleep beside you, you wretched soul!" Crowley exclaimed, rolling his eyes. Then, clapped once, what made the book disappear, and held out his right hand for her to take, "now would you have the kindness to accompany me to the lavish bedroom I have arranged for both of us upstairs? It would be a shame if the bed doesn't get slept in at all."

Yeah as if he could just throw around those confessions and expect Y/N to be casual about it. It had taken her about a year to upgrade from sleeping together to grudgingly admitting that Crowley was actually capable of loving another being more than himself.

And now he just threw something like that at her?

Fingers snapped in impatience cleared the giddy fog in her mind at least a little bit. "Do I have to carry you?"

"I wouldn't complain if you did," Y/N said, hiding the sentimental emotions behind flirtations.

Only that she didn't expect Crowley to actually take her up on it. Before she knew what was happening, she was hanging face first over his shoulder, felt his every step pounding through her body. Very romantic.

Crowley kept muttering half hearted insults under his breath that Y/N knew he didn't mean in the slightest. So she just shot back as good as he gave and laughed loudly.

Deposited on the bed like a sack of potatoes, Y/N rubbed her back accusingly. "That could've been gentler."

"Scoot over my love." Crowley kicked off the house shoes (and God, did she wish to have her phone now, that was the fucking cherry on top. Dean would never believe her if she told him about the outfit) and climbed into bed next to Y/N.

The lights dimmed itself and the mood shifted accordingly. Only when solely the soft light of the moon illuminated the covers, Y/N realised how tired she really was.

Her eyes were dropping shut before Crowley had pulled the blanket over them completely. Warm arms were wrapped around her torso and she felt herself being pulled onto his chest.

"Tired, are we?" The tease was still very much there but something else - something fond - was now underlying the words.

Y/N merely hummed and rested her hand on his stomach.

Crowley sighed quietly and readjusted their position until he was comfortable. "Goodnight my love."

"Love you," she mumbled and stretched just enough to kiss the skin above the collar of his shirt.

To the steady rhythm of Crowley's breathing under his ear, she fell asleep.

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#crowley x reader #crowley supernatural #crowley x you #crowley fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction