#US. we still go to therapy but disregard most of what he says

[thedaythatwas]

I’m just thinking long and hard about the way Akiren and Akechi are written as foils for each other. Because of course, the game drives it home for us that the two are narrative foils: Akiren is the champion of free will who finds power through his friendships, Akechi represents the ways society binds us. He is chained by his desire to be wanted (importantly, by the wrong people– I’ll get to that).

At first glance, Akiren and Akechi’s point of divergence has to do with their relationships– Akiren has confidants, Akechi doesn’t, and this is the deciding factor in Akiren’s victory over Akechi on November 20th and in the engine room. Still, while this is certainly part of what makes their relationship important as a narrative device, it’s not the full picture. That, I think, has more to do with the fact that they both desperately want the very relationships that are used to foil them. They have common ground, and that’s what makes the emotional beats of their differences hit as hard as they do.

Even though Akechi doesn’t have the close bonds that Akiren does with his friends, he is defined as a character by his desire to belong. He wants to be praised and given everything he feels he was denied by Shido’s callous disregard for his mother and society’s unjust treatment of him after her death. He was a self-proclaimed “undesirable child” who spent his young adult life doing everything in his power to never feel unwanted again. He literally spells it out in his engine room monologue– “I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image, so someone would want me around!”

Akiren, like Akechi, begins his character arc as a social outcast. Unlike Akechi, who appeals to systemic power to claim social clout and chase his own sense of belonging (the Shido revenge plot, which would, uhm, theoretically end with Shido acknowledging his son’s worth), Akiren finds family with other outcasts. All of the Phantom Thieves understand his struggle, and because of this they foster a sense of understanding and community that Akechi never gets to experience.

It is important to note that these bonds are deepened when Akiren helps those around him. While there’s absolutely nothing bad about doing things for the people you care about– in fact, most would argue that this is what makes a friendship a good one– we can take a reasonable guess that Akiren craves the love of those around him just a bit more than is healthy for him. He plays therapist for half of Tokyo– he stretches himself absurdly thin for the sake of his friends. That’s a bit much to ask of one person, but Akiren seems to demand it of himself. This is the nature of confidant routes as a game mechanic, of course, but hey, reading into game mechanics is important to getting a solid reading of who Akiren is behind the mask!

The crux of it is, Akiren and Akechi are both lonely characters. Their desire to be loved quite literally drives the narrative of the game, both in terms of plot and gameplay. What makes their foiling so tragic is the fact that Akechi so obviously wants what he has himself determined he can’t have. He says as much in the engine room when he questions why Akiren has things that he doesn’t, despite being (as he says) criminal trash living in an attic.

And yet, Akechi’s isolation is frankly the result of his own decisions. He is the one who chooses to work for Shido. He is the one who acts on a worldview that requires he keep his cards close to his chest to win— against Shido and against the world that wronged him— and to be considered desirable (even despite the fact that this mindset obviously works against satiating his hunger to be loved. He really needs to go to therapy, but I digress).

I don’t think Akechi even knows how to go about claiming what Akiren managed to. Akechi has agency in the actions he takes, absolutely– he would be furious about any suggestion to the contrary– but in many ways, the choices he feels himself able to make are constrained by his circumstances and the lessons imparted to him by his past.

All this to say, Akechi and Akiren aren’t different because Akechi doesn’t want teammates, or even friends. He sincerely wants everything Akiren has. He tells us this in the engine room. He shoots himself in the foot by prioritizing approval from society and love from Shido above other relationships. But thinking from inside his shoes, what else was he going to do? Where else would he have thought to turn to find what he wanted? He was dealt a horrible hand and he played his cards according to the rule book he was given. If the world were just, Akiren and Akechi wouldn’t be foils. It’s the injustice implicit in that that really drives home the point I think P5 is trying to make when it foils Akiren and Akechi in the first place. It also, personally, has been making me want to scream all day.

On a related note, this is also the exact reason that Akechi being the one to bring up that things might have been different if only he met Akiren a few years sooner makes me want to throw things, but this post is long enough. I’ll save all that for later!

#writing this has also had me thinking about the touchy topic that is ‘agency’ in akechi’s narrative #he makes choices AND he’s a victim of circumstance AND neither of those things cancel each other out #I made a post about this a while back but I think I’ll revisit it soon because again— a topic that makes me froth at the mouth #also did y’all notice I got a little foucauldian with my akechi analysis 👀 #I can’t resist. maybe more on THAT later too! #anyway this is scattered and left of coherent but hey I had a lot on my mind! #persona 5 #goro akechi

[leviadraws]

What would you think about the Kisaragi foundation if the entire gang survived DRA? Like the one image Linuj made.

Personally I think Mitch would get kicked out. Immediately.

I think about this a suprising amount, what if they all lived and had a The Office style sitcom/drama /lh

This is real long, I went a little crazy, obvs DRA/SDRA2 spoilers so under the cut

If they all got their memories back I might give him a week for that apparent off-screen character development /lh perhaps they keep him around just so Tsurugi can keep an eye on him/drop him in a jail cell.

If timeline AU is like one of my favourite AUs in DRA, especially if we say Utsuro/Akane survive and have the chance at redemption. You still get all the conflict of the setting with the disaster, you have the conflict between Utsuro/Akane v Yamato/Mikako/Tsurugi, some of the survivors potentially meeting their families, and then all of them essentially being thrust into being adults and needing to help provide relief for a ruined world.

I do seem to remember that Linuj has given everyone a role in that scenario, so assuming the wiki is correct we end up with a strike team and an office team (and management I guess, they'd probs be "you should be in the office" but don't).

Office team: - Rei | intel network, imagine like the people who try to predict and prevent terror attacks - Teruya | finance, probs also works with Haru to manage supplies - Mikako | counsellor, also works on all the management stuff that Yamato isn't fixated on, and drags Tsurugi to therapy - Kizuna | receptionist (really Linuj? She'd be a pretty good addition to either Kinji's or Rei's teams, so I'm gonna say she jumps between the two) - Kakeru | company lawyer. I read somewhere that he also helps Teruya with financial law. - Kanata | company medic - Akane | catering/janitor - Satsuki | Linuj has her listed as "welfare" but that sounds like a hr job and we're not doing Satsuki dirty like that? I'd kinda imagine she'd help Mikako with the mental health of survivors, or go with Kinji as like a first response for victims. Strike team: - Kinji | negotiator - Kiyoka | Daredevil? Kinda more pictured her as the support watching through a sniper scope - Mitch (apparently? Who taught him to use a gun??) - Ayame | scout - Haruhiko | getaway driver, somewhere had him listed as haulage so I guess he also manages procuring supplies. That means that providing supplies to peopleis probs the whole sunshine quartet which makes me happy (Haru drives, Satsuki is the main point of contact with survivors, Teruya manages cost/procurement, Kiyoka acts as security).

Management: - Yamato | Head - Tsurugi | Second-in-command - Yuuki/Utsuro (except if this is IF, he'd probably be monitored for a real long time/essentially a prisoner. He'd have a lot of redeeming to do to be trusted by Yamato again).

So like, first off the dynamic is a lot more balanced, since Yamato acts as Tsurugi's tether to stop him going off the edge, and with a larger more trusted team it's less likely that Rei and Teruya would need to go out on missions as much, which in turns puts less of the stress on them.

I feel like out of all of them, Kakeru has the most work on his plate. It's easy to ignore laws in your favour when society has all but collapsed and I can totally see Tsurugi, Rei, and potentially Yamato wanting to just side step some laws to get things done easier. He really has to put his foot down, because /no/ catching the bad guys is not worth becoming the bad guys. He gets a real headache after the strike team goes on missions as all the collateral means more paperwork.

Likewise Kanata has the problem of half the team disregard their physical health and the other half disregard their mental health. Sometimes it's better and sometimes people wonder if she'll just snap and kill them all /lh. She does get to work with her dad tho, which helps a ton. When they find Midori, she helps Kakeru keep an eye on her condition.

Yamato spends a lot of the early days working to remove the memory wipe on everyone, and reversing the side effects on Mikako and himself. The effects were disabled in IF due to the device Yuuki pressed, but there's no guarantee that effect will last. I'm gonna say for this that it does revert, but Yamato still has good motor function, so for a while he communicates via sign language and a whiteboard he hangs around his neck. He becomes friends with Kiyoka this way, as she has poor hearing from years of shooting without proper safety equipment and is the one who teaches him JSL.

I'm not sure how morally grey the og Kisaragi foundation was, since our narrator on it (Teruya) was kinda unreliable. They're kinda in a difficult situation anyways, they want to save people as a priority but also they need money/resources, which means they'll need to work with anyone they can, especially in the early days of the tragedy. I'd like to think that a lot of their income comes from creating and distributing anti-monokuma tech like the railgun Yamato has in chapter 0.

Kakeru + Teruya would definitely catch Tsurugi if he attempted something like what he did with Syobai in SDRA2, and in this timeline it's not a certain that Tsurugi regresses to his old ways. I think he's not in a good place after shooting Akane, but he's not past the point of no return.

Something I do wanna talk about is that the strike team has Kinji and then one braincell between the other four?? I guess Tsurugi and Yamato (and possibly Rei) will go too just to have some planning and thinking amongst the team /lh Going back to the actual question, perhaps they take Mitch for him to be cannon fodder in missions and then he just gets patched up again when they get back lol. Haru gets really annoyed when people bleed all over his car/van/helicopter.

One last thing, they figure out pretty quickly that they can't really imprison Utsuro/Akane since the moment Utsuro just thinks about leaving a string of events will happen like a Rube Goldberg machine and he'll just walk out and get a sandwich or something. So, they just kinda work with his mental health and try to help him and Akane through their despair. It's a lot on Mikako, but she wanted to give him a chance back then and she wants to see that through.

I'm not sure how they'd eventually interact with VOID, I think Mikado would still be obsessed with him, but I think the other voids would be happy with their luck still in effect.

Right, I could keep talking about them but I'm gonna stop there, if you read this far - congrats!

#ask loz #dra #dra if #not tagging everyone but #full cast #dra spoilers #danganronpa another

[paranoidpoltergeist]

Starscream is genuinely such a tragic character because as much as he's just kinda crazy every iteration has something that just makes u feel so bad for him.

IDW Starscream is something I couldn't scrape the surface of if you gave me 107 days. G1 Starscream's is not only mainly just used for comic relief the poor guy, but he lost his partner who then turns around and in his eyes betrays him. I mean Skyfire had every right to go "what in the fuc" and dip but the fact he went with Starscream in the first place tells me that somewhere along the way something happened to make him go coocoo.

In prime he was seemingly manipulated into joining the Decepticons and then constantly talked down to. From my perspective it honestly just seemed like Starscream was after praise or recognition which he never gets, now if this is because Megatron's a dick or because of the dark energon idk. I mean he kept the Decepticons afloat the entire time Megatron was gone chasing what was by all accounts a myth and did more then we saw Megs do THE ENTIRE SERIES. He managed to kill an Autobot, we never actually see any casualties and they've got a steady flow of energon.

I mean even in RID his main goal was to just kill Megs and tbh if I'd been beat down over everything I did, even if it was wrong bc I personally thought it was the right way to go about it, I'd be majorly pissed too. Yeah he wants control of the Decepticons but(and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong it's been a very long time since I've watched prime) I only remember him actually attempting to kill Megatron once or twice. Sure he was self serving but just bc he wants respect.

Bayverse Starscream was just the saddest thing I've ever seen. He could breathe and Megatron was drop kicking him off a building, didn't even get to be the treacherous sic jeez💀

Dude the WFC Trilogy was so wild idek how to word it so kind of a take on his character as a whole here. It was weird and characterizations were way off but I actually liked Starscream. He was still the guy we know and love but with a neat twist. He still had that tragic feeling to him especially getting traumatized and all but Dinobot telling him everything he went through wasn't an excuse to hurt other people was just *chefs kiss* bc it's really not. As tragic as Stars character is it's not an excuse for him to hurt the people around him. I mean no matter how bad I can feel for Prime Screamer he still used and manipulated everyone around him(Knockout for one). This is in no way me trying to justify or make him a good guy, a character can be tragic while still being a bad person. Somebody get him in therapy lol.

Oh man and don't get me started on the Unicron Trilogy Starscream. Probably the most tragic of them all, poor guy did not deserve any of Megatrons abuse. Allow me to let him speak for himself "I tried to gain favor from you, but nothing was ever good enough. No matter how many battles I fought, you always found fault." He really just wanted recognition, he literally sacrificed himself just so Megatron could get it through his thick head he needed to team up with the Autobots, and I recently had someone point out to me Starscream probably could have done some damage to Unicron with Swindle but he knew he was gonna die and he didn't wanna drag his mini-con down with him. Just ow.

Animated Screamer was just wild idek what he was on I can't defend him lmao bro opens the show trying and almost succeeded in killing Megan. I'd comment on Cyberverse if I could but I haven't actually got to watching that yet whoops. I feel like I remember seeing a clip of him talking about wanting the respect he deserved which honestly could have been his ego talking or really sad idk, but back to what I was originally saying.

Almost every time he shows up and you pay him any attention besides comic relief he's a super tragic character and it's not only what makes him one of my favorite but it makes me sad when I see people completely disregard everything but whats on the barest of surface levels. I feel like that's all Micheal Bay did he remembered Star being comic relief and so thats all he was. He's like an onion for lack of a better analogy, got a million layers, might make u cry, and you either love him or hate him. He could be such a compelling interesting character like with IDW but no one wants to look below the surface AND I GET IT 9/10 were literal children's shows so they're forgiven but Micheal Bay is on my hit list for that one.

edit: bro if this makes absolutely zero sense I literally wrote and posted this at 3am and then just scheduled it at a normal time for reasons I'm not actually 100% on so sorry💀

#transformers #starscream #transformers prime #transformers generation one #transformers armada #transformers animated #tfp #megatron #transformers bayverse #character study #kinda #thats a good idea actually #No seriously I'd watch a tv show thats just Starscream getting therapy #They bring all the other decepticons and some autobots in💀 #AN EPISODE ABOUT HIM AND SKYFIRE #couples therapy type shit but its megatron and starscream #I'd literally watch that everyday #THEY COULD DO IT LIKE THE OFFICE AND IT RANDOMLY CUTS AWAY TO LIKE SKYWARP GIVING A DEADPAN FACE #HE JUST STARTS EXPOSING STARSCREAM EVERY TIME HE GETS DRAMATIC #hasbro hire me

[myheartismadeofstars]

idk maybe it's me, but I didn't really see Sunny's mom as a particularly bad mother?

"She left him alone for three days with no food!"

Did she?

We know Sunny's perception of things isn't exactly accurate. He sees what he wants, whether it's there or not. He just... doesn't see the closet. Who is to say Sunny didn't just only see the steak because it was what he was looking for? Hero makes breakfast after the sleepover and iirc he doesn't mention going to get food from home or Othermart. He cooked food that was IN THE HOUSE. Sunny probably just doesn't feel up to cooking or eating anything else (probably why she left him the steak, his favourite food. Something he could warm up and eat safely and easily, and could enjoy it (she literally says she didn't mean to leave him without power, and power seems to be restored, Sunny just doesn't use it, but again, Hero cooks. Also he had money, which very likely was from her! (probably in the hope it would encourage him to leave to do SOMETHING)

"She left her mentally ill son alone with knives!"

Boy rarely goes downstairs because he's afraid. (We do see that he can overcome this when hungry so he could still feed himself) it's not super likely that Sunny would overcome his fear enough to get downstairs to hurt himself. Is it possible? of course. But Sunny has lived for four years in the same house and could easily have taken a knife when Mom was at work.

"She never got him therapy!"

The canon game takes place in the 90's-00's. Therapy wasn't affordable yet, and especially not for a single mother who had to pay for a funeral and a divorce, while still paying for bills and mortgage. Not to mention, therapy can only help if you want help. Sunny couldn't open up to anyone. Plus, what was she supposed to do? Drag him out of bed, down the stairs and into the car? That wouldn't be very productive. She probably tried, but was unable to convince him (nothing said she can't get him therapy now if he's willing to so)

"She didn't do anything about him locking himself up and sleeping all the time"

Who says? Also, Hero's parents didn't either. There were two of them, but Hero stayed in a depressed funk for almost a year, he came out of it on his own. Who's to say Hero's parents wouldn't have let him mope for years?

The only things I can really say with any certainty that she did wrong was: forget to tell the power company they needed a couple days (she's busy guys), leave Sunny for three days straight (certainly an issue but most teenagers are more than capable of caring for themselves for a few days), and be a tad condescending to him in her messages and notes.

Meanwhile I personally think Hero and Kel's mom is a much more insidious parent, showing blatant favouritism and treating Hero as the Golden Child but it also seems like Hero is a bit parentified as well, seeming like he had to take care of Kel (snapping out of his year long depression when he realized his parents didn't care about Kel's pain implies a history of him being the only one who cared) Hero, and to a lesser extent Kel, kinda have boundary issues (Both get very involved in things that are other people's issue and Hero goes to get the pictures of Mari, disregarding Aubrey literally saying she didn't want them in there). Hero and Kel's mom also constantly plays the victim. "The dinner I worked so hard on went cold while you were out *checks notes* saving your friend from drowning" and "I can't believe you want to spend time with your friend who is moving away instead of with me, who you will be living with for the rest of the summer" to Hero feeling like he should go all the way to Fix-It to get flowers for her to make her feel better about him... spending time with friends. Sounds like she guilt trips him pretty hard, not to mention convincing him to give up his dream to do what she wanted... that doesn't seem like a very good mother to me...

#omori #I don't like everyone assuming Sunny's parents know what happened? #Where would they even get that idea?? #I'm currently replaying but i have yet to find any hints that Sunny's parents knew anything #the only kids who don't seem to have fucked up parents are #the twins + Mikhail #Cris (seashell girl) #and Sarah arguably (anniversary couple) #oh and Charlie seems to have a good relationship with her mom #but her brother is... unfortunate

[half-tabaxi]

I need to get a grip. I am going to miss the idea of being in a relationship, not the relationship itself. I don't hate the dude but he is in a transitional period in life and it has become clear he is not ready for a serious commitment. There is so much emotional turmoil and an alcohol addiction that he needs to work through. I wish I took my time with him more and learned the ins and outs before pouring my soul into a bottomless pit of despair. No one wants to admit they aren't ready to love and be loved but I wish he was at least a little self-aware and would have fucking spared me because *I* am ready. So then I get suckered into this half-assed romance where we did not know enough about each other. Despite my reluctance, I thought we were at least worth a shot because he seemed sincere, but I just became some sort of lackey and chore person with a pussy to fuck. It was a domestic partnership, like, three weeks into knowing each other. I was not graced with a honeymoon phase, and the tenderness quickly melted away. All of "our" plans were just things he thought up on his own that he wanted or needed to do, and I tagged along because he asked me to. My priorities and responsibilities were hardly taken into consideration, only viewed as inconveniences. Money was an issue and I tried so fucking hard to help, loaning him five hundred bucks despite me not being able to afford it. My car was driven around for food deliveries and I accompanied him, even though I had no desire, because his license still needs to be obtained. And even then, I got chewed out for not doing enough because I didn't have the answers to the last minute questions he would ask, as though I am supposed to be alert and work his job for him. Ungrateful, unappreciative, and selfish. Then I get judged for being (clinically) depressed and unmotivated, even though I have suddenly and unexpectedly inherited another person's stress on top of my own and am being stretched thin. Wanting to sleep in and cuddle after a night of miserably driving around I guess is laziness because I should always be thinking about our next move. We weren't "adventuring" enough and I am to blame, yet the weather, ex-girlfriend drama, and the need for funds put a damper on more than half of his made-up plans. And the most basic indicator of us not working out was my sense of humor not being entirely understood and him personalizing all of the stupid, mindless shit I say. When I would stand up for myself and offer up my perspective, that meant I was disregarding what he thought/felt and because of that, *I'm* the reason, at thirty-years-old, he bottles up his emotions. I'm sure the eight-year relationship he got out of last year and very little self-reflection have nothing to do with it. He never asked or cared about Appa the way I did with his animals, hardly ever making the effort to spend the night at my house. I also am too strong-headed and quite frankly, he would benefit greatly from therapy. I feel like an idiot. I think I would have rather been fucked and then ghosted after meeting than "dating" for three months but maybe I am just angry.

[navree]

Hope you had a nice weekend and happy New Year!

I really like your takes on Aegon and Alicent specifically so I wanted to know what you think of the theory that Alicent was the one who poisoned Aegon? Or that Aegon knowingly drank the poison himself?

Thanks!

Happy New Year anon and thanks so much for the well wishes! I'll be brief and say that the weekend was An Adventure, but a fun one nevertheless. Hope your's was all you wanted it to crack up to be as well <3 I'm gonna be operating under a view of "do I think the show could go this way" along with what F*&B tells us rather than just looking at book canon, because most of the theorizing I've seen in regards to that tends to be about how the show could adapt it. This is also going to be largely character/motivation based rather than focusing on "evidence" because this is a history book/propaganda article and a part of a TV show that hasn't happened yet, we don't have any concrete evidenceAs with most theories, I think there's validity to either of them because there's very few theories that make me say a flat "no", but in terms of my personal beliefs: I do not think that Alicent poisoned Aegon, but I actually quite like the idea that Aegon might have poisoned himself.

In Alicent's case, I just don't think she had it in her to do it. Not because she's somehow weak or wahtever and couldn't handle it, but because, quite simply, she likely wouldn't be able to dream of it. All of Alicent's family is dead at that point in the Dance, all her other kids and her father and any personal friends she might have had, like Criston. But Aegon's still there, and he's still fighting as best he can. It's that line from Catelyn in A Storm of Swords (which I've just arrived to in my ASOIAF reread): He is my first son. My first son, and my last. For a time, Aegon was all Alicent had in the world, and by the time the Dance ends, he is all she has left. And I think after everything she's lost, everything that's happened to her family (none of the main Greens died kindly at this point, it was all relatively gruesome), Alicent just wouldn't be able to fathom a world without him. It's why she's on her deathbed begging to see her kids; they're her main driving force in the world, especially after her relationship with Rhaenyra became unsalvageable. I cannot see her deciding, unilaterally, to kill him, she couldn't even bear the idea of him taking the black and going to the Wall when that was brought up as an option.

But I can definitely buy the idea that Aegon poisoned himself. Aegon knew, by the time Cregan was marching on King's Landing, that it was over, and that he wasn't getting out of this unscathed. It's why, again, he seized on the idea of going to the Wall, before Alicent pointed out that it wasn't going to happen, especially if Aegon III decided to be a dick about it because of what he was forced to watch at the Fall of Dragonstone (my little baby, someone get him Westerosi therapy). And, like Alicent, he'd suffered a lot during the Dance, but unlike Alicent, he likely suffered more, and could make an argument to blame himself for all of it. His brothers died, his sister-wife died, his sons died, his dragon died, and it all happened because of him. Aemond and Daeron and Criston died fighting for him and to defend his claim, Helaena and Jahaerys and Maegor died because he failed to protect him, even his beloved Sunfyre died of wounds fought in battles he rode him to, and this is all in addition to what had to be constant physical pain due to his many debilitating injuries. One could argue that, like Alicent, Aegon might want to keep going out of love of what remains, like his love for his mother and love of his daughter. But, even disregarding the fact that Aegon knew he was 99% certain to die no matter what: for one, his relationship with Alicent is complicated and only recently got solidified (the Dance lasts about two years from his coronation, which is where he's gonna be getting proof that Alicent loves him no matter what) and for two, Jahaera wouldn't be enough. I'm sure Aegon loves his kids, but we've also seen that he's someone who dearly desires that love to be reciprocated. It's why so much of the way he treats the world and self medicates is borne of pain, because he thinks his love for certain people is not returned (along with a whole other host of issues that goes along with like feelings of unworthiness and etc). And Jahaera, as we're told in F&B, is not capable of returning that love. We don't know a lot about Jahaera, but she appears to be coded as somewhat developmentally disabled (I can't tell you specifics because it's vague and that's also not a subject I feel qualified to make any kind of armchair diagnoses in), and part of that is that she doesn't show emotions and is somewhat "simple minded", and there's no reason to expect that this a) wouldn't have been exacerbated to the extreme following having to witness Jahaerys's murder and experiencing the threats of death and sexual violence levied against her at the time and b) wouldn't also extend to her relationship with Aegon. Aegon can love his daughter, but if she's incapable of either showing love back or even loving him back entirely, then, considering the kind of person he is, it wouldn't be enough to stop him from killing himself.

Combining all of these different factors, the emotion toll of the Dance, his physical pain, the lack of motivation not to die, and the knowledge that he wasn't making it out of this alive, it makes sense that Aegon would decide to die on his own terms. This is a man who refuses to drink milk of the poppy even when in excruciating pain, this is a man who stubbornly refuses to die and was able to drag himself to Dragonstone and to Sunfyre, this is a man who fought until he literally couldn't fight anymore. It is entirely plausible that Aegon, knowing that death was the only option anyway, would decide to choose his own death in his own way, especially if it could be painless rather than subjecting himself to Cregan Stark's mercy. I do, however, think Alicent knew. I can see Aegon telling her that this was what he was planning, if only to give her forewarning and some peace of mind, and I can see him asking her to help (whether it be by putting it in his food or procuring it or something). And I do think that would be a marvelous way for it to go, for Alicent to help her son out of the world at the end of the story that started when she brought him into it, and at least give them a final, quiet, loving goodbye for each other, the kind everyone else was denied all throughout the war.

We'll see what the show does and how this evolves, because this'll likely be series finale material, but tl;dr: I can't find any reason why Alicent would poison Aegon, but ample reasons why he'd poison himself, and I think it'd be a good sendoff for his character if Alicent was there to at least help him in his final plan.

#personal #answered #anonymous #love to talk about my beloved greens and all the ways they make me sad #plus i'm on a plane right now so it's giving me something to do other than staring at the flight tracker

[van-zieksy]

"...My learned Nipponese friend is obviously in training to be a clown, the way he regales us with such witticisms."

Barok just.... I mean I am still correct in what I'm saying, but damn, how do you even come back from that one?? Ryunosuke is going to need therapy for that statement alone.

Also I'm soooooo upset the games aren't fully voice acted, I would've loved to hear that!!

The more I play DGS the more I want a separate anime just for this whole era. I'm not even asking much. Just the cases and-

Okay wait I just clicked on my switch screen to prevent it from shutting down and he follows up with a toast to "my future career in the circus"???? Holy fuck, this man!!

Soooo I suppose you can definitely count me in for the Barok van Zieks Simp Club. I feel like I owe him my soul and part of my income.

Such an iconic statement that it even transcends timelines. Barok must be Edgeworth's ancestor, right? (Yeah, I know, the "you're the entire circus" thing is just a meme).

I can understand his thoughts, though. Think about it from Barok's perspective for a moment. You are the most celebrated Crown prosecutor in the country who only takes on high-profile cases, not that you care about your own status, but you do want to make sure that the good name of the British judicial system doesn't get sullied. This nobody from a different country who did not even properly study law and who does not have any real world experience whatsoever shows up in court to pretend to do real attorney work. This wannabe also makes his debut defending one of the most notorious individuals in town, who you definitely know to be shady (let's leave it at that, okay?). Surely this kid can't be trusted, right? What's he up to?

The youngster goes on to disrespect court procedures because he's not familiar with them, accuses people without any shred of evidence, bluffs, puts forward hypotheses merely based on ideas or feelings, disregards many of the protocols. Of course the prosecution is frustrated. Wouldn't we all be if we were part of the game? What makes Ryunosuke charming to us as the audience, makes him bothersome to the characters in the game that are involved in all of this. :D

I'm actually surprised that prosecutor Van Zieks just goes along with it, when he would have had grounds to ask this learned friend to be removed from the courtroom due to being unfit for court. Barok is very patient and even helps Ryunosuke quite a bit/mentors him, as well as cooperates with him when he technically doesn't have to, because in the end, this prosecutor only cares about justice. (Gosh, there's more I want to say, but I will refuse to use any spoilers because I know you haven't finished the game yet, so let's end it here).

You absolutely speak my mind! A well-made anime in the world of DGS would be so very amazing. Hearing our beloved characters speak (as you've mentioned), seeing them move. The character design is superb, the world is beautiful. I adore the whole franchise (some games/characters more than others), but this cast is my favourite. From Ryunosuke to Barok to Susato to Iris etc., I love them all! I am not the same since I have finished this duology. Barok is my favourite character in the franchise (surprise, I know), with Ryunosuke coming in second and Susato coming in third, which is quite the achievement against such all-time-greats as Edgeworth, Phoenix and Maya. :)

Enjoy the rest of the game(s)! 😊

Edit/P.S.: In case you read my blog here, I can only recommend you filter out the tags "tgaa spoilers" and "dgs spoilers", as that's how I tag my spoilery posts and reblogs. Other people may use the same or other tags.

#asks #lost elda ask #tgaac #dgs

[inafieldofdaisies]

all the qs you haven't gotten yet for the ship asks <3

Questions from this post.

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

Sabrina is an early riser usually, oftentimes not getting that many hours of sleep in, especially when she's too wired and overthinking. Once they get together, she'd find herself sleeping in late, but still mostly waking up before John, and he gets grumpy if she doesn't wake him up. 🤣

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

Sabrina is generous with it, pretty open with how she feels because she knows time with the people you love is limited so she doesn't want to have regrets. John, on other hand is more selective about saying it.

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

Sabrina: That he believes too blindly in Joseph and overlooks the danger it puts him in. She's straight up just worried.

John: How she disregards danger when it comes to herself especially if it means saving others.

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

John calls Sabrina usually by her name for a good chunk of the story, then he'd sprinkle in "Butterfly" once he actually understands the meaning she finds behind the word. When he's trying to rile her up and just wants to see her get feisty, he'd call her Deputy.

And before that he'd call her Deputy to distance himself hence her subtle hate of the nickname.

I've been hitting a wall on coming up with a nickname she'd call him, like for the life of me I can't settle on anything that feels natural to her character.

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

I'd say it's 50/50 depending on the situation and distance.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

We all know John loves his radio calls, it's more hilarious when he does it but has no idea there are other people around her, poor Calahan will be sending him his therapy bill one day.

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

It's kinda hard to narrow them down (the actual wip playlist is already so long), so I'm dropping two songs along with the story playlist.

Spiracle by Flower Face

And I want your parties, the shark in your water The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over And I want your zeroes, your polluted marrow The sweat on your palms and your surveillance shadow I want your secrets, your clementine fields The ropes that you climb up, the parts that won't heal I want your safe word, your passive resistance The sickness you foster, your favorite addictions

In Madness by Constance

In love and in madness In strength and in sadness When all of the world feels like its giving up on you Take what you have to But leave the hurt that they gave you Cause I see the dawn in you The light is breaking through

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Sabrina would go all out and worry like crazy if he's hurt, when she's the one that's hurt, she'd try to assure him she's fine, minimize and attempt to do stuff herself, which irks him because he wants her to lean on him but she's too used to doing everything on her own for far too long.

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

Physical touch to ground each other, words of reassurance, trying to reach the other and pull them out of the dark place, etc.

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

Yes, because for John it's something unexpected, while for Sabrina it's everything she's ever wanted, some normalcy in the chaos.

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

There are challenges, but I feel like they end up complimenting each other when it comes to personality. Sabrina grounds him, while John makes her feel seen and believed.

25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?

Sabrina and Savannah both stay at the ranch, at first sharing a room because Sabrina wants to make sure her sister is close by in case anything goes wrong. When Brin and John get together, she'd sleep in his bed. She's the one that usually keeps the place in order since he's very busy drowning people. 😂 Sabrina's personality: a home with cozy vibes, not messy or too flashy.

29. Describe their nighttime routine.

Dinner, usually made by Sabrina, John is allowed to help in the preparations, but with supervision, which Savannah finds absolutely hilarious. Making sure she goes to bed on time. Sitting by the fireplace, relaxing or lounging outside if the weather allows it, watching the stars, Sabrina would play her guitar/sing for John. Shower. 🤫 activities.

31. Do they often go out on dates? What are these like?

I feel like their dates wouldn't be considered very typical with the whole situation in the County. Their first date is John's idea after he finds out she: 1) has no idea how to fly a plane, 2) has fear of flying after the helicopter crash. He refuses to accept that and sets out on taking her out in a plane. Chaos ensues. 🤣

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

Bantering back and forth. I'd say they're handling it fine. 😂

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

She jokes about the baptisms, "Oh, John" is a whole thing at one point. Enough said for now. 🫣

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

Mostly because of Joseph and the hell he'd raise about it. She's not part of the Project, nor does she believe in what he's selling, and the way he's going about it.

36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?

They're both fine with it, though Sabrina hasn't thought about having kids on her own, especially with the Collapse looming over her future, her main focus has always been raising her sister and making sure she's happy and safe.

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

Neither, Sabrina cries mostly when she's absolutely overwhelmed or completely exhausted, otherwise she tries to hold it in, put on a smile and oftentimes minimizes her own suffering.

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

John, without a question. Sabrina is pretty good at holding her composure.

#ty for the ask <3 #oc: sabrina donovan #wip: in hope of tomorrow #john x sabrina #john seed x sabrina donovan #oc ask game #ship ask game #oc ask #oc game #oc questions #my ships #original character #oc info #fc5 deputy #oc character #oc ship #ask prompt #oc ask prompts

[takaraphoenix]

There is one thing in particular that irritates me about the way the Scoobies treat Buffy at times - aside from, ya know, the obvious backstabbing. It’s the hypocrisy, mostly born from how the narrative ops out of giving us factual details on the Scoobies’ lives outside of Buffy.

And let me start this rant by saying that Anya Jenkins is utterly and completely taken out of this. She was dumped onto this planet, found a boyfriend to live at rent free, stumbled into becoming the owner of a magic shop and also being the only person to suggest Buffy should be paid for slaying.

Let’s continue with getting the most obvious thing out of the way: They all keep forgetting that she is the Slayer. They really don’t seem to get that the fate of the world is an additional responsibility that Buffy has, on top of everything else they’re expecting of her. It’s like that fact conveniently leaves their brains when they get upset at Buffy.

And actually, let’s also add how conveniently they all disregard Buffy’s mental health. Her trauma response of running away? Nope, she gets blamed for it, nobody think about getting her help or remember that there was a severely traumatizing reason for her to run away from that. Her not like immediately shrugging off that she actually died? How dare she, why is she not a functioning part of society yet? Gee, I don’t know, maybe because she was laying buried in a coffin until like a week ago. Get that girl some therapy.

Now, let’s get to the actual main part of the post; though the two above mentioned points weight very heavily and count to all of them.

Let’s start with the one we actually have most on. Xander. He got to go on a long road-trip, because hey he doesn’t have the responsibility of the world weighting on his shoulders. And then he kinda just... drifted for a while, living in his parents’ basement. After that, he actually got his life together, got a proper job, started living responsible, got his own apartment. He’s... the only one... where we really know for a fact where his money comes from, making him a bit the odd man out. Still, there is so much hypocrisy in how he too expects Buffy to get her life together; he took forever to get his life together too - road-trip, living in his parents’ basement - but he could do that, because he had the cushion of his parents and the lack of world-ending responsibility.

Giles just confuses me, to be honest. Yes, at first, it’s very clear where he got his money from. Nice being paid twice, isn’t it? Working legally as the librarian of the school and most definitely also getting paid by the Watcher’s Council for that job. But then he kind of lost... both of that? And turned into an alcoholic who didn’t leave his house? I mean, thanks to the comics, I assume that even if the double-pay he received prior didn’t cushion him well enough, his aunts probably send him money. The Giles Estate seems to be well off. That’s an educated guess though, not really a fact. We don’t really know how he afforded to just drift into alcoholism in his phase between being a paid Watcher and librarian until he buys the Magic Shop (which, also... after how long without a job? He just has the money laying around to buy a business? I know these are the 90s, but damn. I will, again, assume his aunts and The Giles MoneyTM helped out here).

He confuses me the most, because in his relationship with Buffy, he is either written as the loving and supporting father or as the strict Watcher. And those two clash. Like when Giles decided to fuck off to England because Slayer!Buffy doesn’t need Watcher!Buffy anymore (what. What made you think that. A severely traumatized Slayer who just died seems to be in need of a Watcher’s guidance). But daughter!Buffy, who just recently lost her mother already and has a little sister to raise, on top of her trauma and Slayer responsibility, could have really, really I mean really needed dad!Giles.

Would have also been nice if dad!Giles had pitched in some with that Giles MoneyTM. I don’t expect him to pay for everything forever, but come on, the girl just died and is now basically a single mom with running bills who is too busy saving the world to hold down a job, at least help bridge things.

How he, of all people, expected her to get her life together so quickly, I will never understand. Because you can cut Willow and Xander a marginal amount of slack on basis of them being regular humans. Even if they have been involved for years and should know the Slayer responsibility, I really don’t think they ever fully grasped that. Rupert Giles, Watcher of the Slayer, absolutely has zero excuse not to get that and to just accidentally forget about it.

Willow is honestly the worst here; we literally know jackshit about her? I mean, she clearly didn’t have a job during college, so were her parents paying her tuition? What was she even studying? Like, I get it, Americans do this weird thing where they don’t seem to sign up for an actual streamlined major but just take whatever classes look shiny and it does not seem to need a coherent end goal for some reason, but... we never really got her talking about her plans for the future?

Heck. Did she ever even finish college? Buffy died and her and Tara just moved into the Summers home. But did they finish college? What did they graduate in? What degree do they have and what did they do with it?

Which, at this point I will just save time and talk about Willow and Tara both. Because all of this applies to both of them equally. We never get their major, or if they graduate, and we never see either of them work a day in their life.

It’s suggested that they didn’t pitch in at the Summers home at all, since Buffy learns that her money has been going into paying said bills and she is now broke. Which, I understand taking part from it, half if you must, since it’s now Dawn’s money and Dawn still lives here. But two of the three residents in this house are Willow and Tara, they ought to pay at least half of all of the bills? Which they seemingly did not?

And hey, what money would they use to pay anyway? Seriously, they have never been shown to go to work, come to work, or mention work, at all. They just hang out at the magic shop, but they’re not really paid employees there either, judging from everything we’ve gotten?

From the narrative we’re given, it looks like Tara and Willow either quit college or finished college, and then moved into the Summers home, where they never paid a single bill, and just... lived there, until Tara dies and until Sunnydale disappears in a hole in the ground, in Willow’s case.

The point of this post, aside from ranting, is that the hypocrisy of the Scoobies’ judgment would be far smaller if we had actually any idea how they’re paying their bills. Giles and Willow judging Buffy for not getting everything done all at once would feel much less hypocritical (but still hypocritical on account of the first two points; trauma and slaying) if it didn’t feel like the two are resting on nice plot-armor-esque money-cushions that provide whatever they need.

Like, if Willow, who yes raised Dawn for months and does a lot in her witch-capacities, had a stated job that she had to go to, that drained her, that made her pay a fourth of the Summers bills post Buffy resurrection, if she was actually explicitly shown to financially support Buffy and carry her own weight, instead of being framed as someone living rent free in the Summers house and expecting Buffy to carry her weight too? It would count for something.

(Again, they would still be hypocrites for expecting Buffy to get over her trauma without any help and to hold a job and raise a kid and save the world.)

#Buffy Summers #Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[reddie-fangirl24]

This is the final chapter to Boots. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought.

Returning to their apartment as the other Losers went to dinner, Eddie meticulously tended to Richie's wounded feet, applying various ointments and bandages to ease the pain and encourage healing. As Eddie worked, Richie hung his head shamefully, uncomfortable by the silence between them. "I'm sorry, Eds.”

"You knew this would happen, Richie. You disregarded our financial responsibilities and now look at what it's cost you." Eddie's frustration softened into empathy as he realized Richie was genuinely remorseful. He took a deep breath and put his arm around Richie's shoulder.

"We'll deal with the financial consequences later, but right now, let's focus on healing those feet," Eddie said, his voice filled with determination.

"I'm lucky to have you, Eds," Richie whispered, his voice laced with gratitude.

Eddie couldn't help but smirk, though his frustration still lingered. "You better believe you're lucky, Richie Tozier. Most people would leave you to suffer with those boots on, but not me."

Richie winced as Eddie gently applied a soothing ointment to his injured feet. "Well, if I had known you were going to unleash your nursing skills on me, I would have worn uncomfortable footwear ages ago."

Eddie shot him a playful glare. "Don't push it, Trashmouth! This is your punishment for not thinking before you buy."

Richie's eyes widened, his tone exaggerated, mixing in his feigned English accent. "Punishment? Are you going to make me walk barefoot on hot coals next?"

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. "No, just consider this a lesson learned. From now on, we make financial decisions together. No more impulsive purchases that leave us in a bind."

Richie feigned a wounded expression, pouting his lip like a puppy. "But what about my personal growth through retail therapy?"

Eddie rolled his eyes, reaching for a fresh bandage. "You can find other ways to grow, Richie. Ways that don't involve draining our bank account."

As Eddie wrapped the bandage around Richie's foot, the comedian couldn't help but appreciate the care and attention Eddie was devoted to him. "You know, Eds, you're surprisingly good at this. Maybe you missed your calling as a nurse."

Eddie smirked, pretending to be offended. "I'll have you know, Mr. Tozier, that I have many talents. Nursing just happens to be one of them."

Richie grinned, his eyes filled with affection. "Yeah, you're pretty talented at loving me, too."

Eddie's cheeks flushed slightly, but he maintained his composure. "Well, someone has to, right? Otherwise, who would put up with your ridiculous antics and impulsive shopping sprees?"

Richie leaned closer, his voice softening as he touched his husband’s arm. "You do, Eddie. You're always there for me, even when I mess up. I don't say it enough, but I appreciate you more than words can express."

Eddie's stern facade softened, and he leaned in to press a tender kiss against Richie's forehead. He climbed into Richie’s lap, sitting comfortably. "I know, Richie. And even though you drive me crazy sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way."

The couple shared a moment of quiet understanding, the warmth of their love permeating the room. Together, they would overcome any challenges that came their way, including the occasional pair of ill-fated cowboy boots.

#Reddie #reddie fanfiction #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #Friends Crossover #Reddie Fluff #Reddie husbands

[freakishfandomfiend]

911 Fandom Meltdown and Racism **RANT**

As a member of the 911 fandom since day one, I would like to put my two cents in where fanfic writers are concerned.  It has come to my attention that there is a list going around of fanfic writers being “racists” around different servers and the fandom. It’s a list made by WHITE PEOPLE (WP), calling others racists; including People of Color(PoC). As someone who loves some of the authors on the list, I’d like to point out that most of the writing is not racist, but different characterization of a canon character and people are getting butt hurt. 

Just because you don’t like something, because you don’t like someone’s writing of a character, does not make them racist. All of this started when people were bashing Maddie and saying that she shouldn’t have done the things she did in the way of getting into Buck’s apartment and the way she left Buck. When those things didn’t get enough traction, they pulled in Chimney. 

Apparently we can’t talk about Chimney being a liar and being a bully before season 5 (because this disregards character development.. *Rolls eyes*), but I’m going to talk about it. Chimney wasn’t my favorite character in the beginning, I did like him, I wasn’t a huge fan of his lying to his girlfriend and the way he was verbally abusive to his team members. Not just Buck, and we’ll get to why I specified Buck in this. 

Chimney was abusive; he was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. When we skip to season 5 where Chim punches Buck, we see the physical part of it. It’s also brought to my attention that he was under emotional duress at the time. That’s not a reason, that’s an excuse. He was still the aggressor and he was still the one who threw the punch. Notice that Buck never hit back. 

Chimney used the fact that Buck kept it from him, that his daughter went to the hospital, that Maddie left, but Chim kept important things from Buck too. 

BUT! According to the WP that made the list, if we defend Buck, if people are held accountable for their own actions, we’re babying Buck. When we do that to PoC, it’s okay because they are PoC. I’m probably going to get put on the list after all of this too, but I couldn’t care less.

Eddie, who is also a PoC, has done some stupid shit and deserved to have the consequences of his own actions. He punched the handicap male, (Who was a douche bag, but I digress), and he went to jail for it. He had to be bailed out. 

Why didn’t Chim go to jail? or get charged? and honestly? as an Abuse survivor myself, I don’t see how Maddie could have forgiven Chim as easily as she did. Especially over the person that she was a mother to for most of his life. How she could let him near their child without him going to therapy. EVEN how Bobby could let him come back as easily and quickly as he did without him being cleared through therapy and anger management. As much as we talk about Buck being Bobby’s kid, he’s also his coworker, his responsibility, and when someone wouldn’t feel safe or feel like they can’t trust someone anymore.. that’s an issue, especially in their field of work. 

I would also like to point out that anyone who is writing stories where Chim is being held responsible for his actions, or any of the 118 being held responsible, I’m so proud of you for writing things that go against the flow of what everyone wants to be brainwashed into your head. I do apologize for the backlash you may get from any of this, but for what it’s worth, as a stranger on the internet, I’m proud of you.   

I personally don’t care if you’re white, black, green, red, yellow, or purple, if you fuck up and make a bad decision, you should be held responsible for your own actions. 

#911 #911 on fox #chimney han #maddie buckley #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #bobby nash #BOBBY IS BUCKS DAD #fandom discourse #rant #fanfic #issues #911 discourse

[pacifymebby]

Yooooo I just had this crazy dream of the modern peaky blinders with euphoria characters lmao I won't say what all happened because I have a shit memory and my mind is a weird junkyard filling my dreams with crazy nonsense but this one actually kind of makes sense

but I was talking to Maddie then MICHAEL GRAY walks over and they kiss, I was freaking out for a second but then it just made sense, because they both love money and power, Maddie values money more but it takes power to be able to do nothing and Michael also loves money but values power more but power means to have enough money to do what you want, they're similar also not cause one doesn't want anything life threatening to happen to anyone else and the other is literally a gangster so they just balance each other out

so I would give them this to describe them⬇️

☯️yin yang☯️

and now I can't stop thinking about what characters work well with other characters,

like Cassie's mom and John would FOR SURE work well with each other both of their inappropriate humor and drinking problems would definitely draw each other together but have enough differences between the two to where they don't even consider anything else than a drinking buddy, but they also know what it's like raising kids on their own for a while but also know of the others parenting style, they ignore this fact halfway through the night and watch million dollar match maker together so it only makes sense they're ⬇️

✨alcoholic besties✨

Rue's mom and aunt Polly would clash over their legal/illegal views on the world but would definitely agree on most things cause y'know taking care of out of control children all on their own and they both have common sense so obviously they're ⬇️

💥frenemies💥

(or at the very least have an understanding)

Tommy would definitely see something familiar in rue, cause y'know they both used/use drugs and relationships as a way of coping with serious issues in their life and tend to make decisions that put them in really dangerous situations and the complete disregard for their safety and actually caring about their family but ultimately make decisions that hurt them but still makes things work out in the end somehow, and rue would straight up just think he's creepy as fuck and stays far away as much as possible so I would give them ⬇️

🌛cautionary tale/dumb kid🌜

Jules dad and aberama gold, Jules dad through out the show is supportive of Jules and most likely approved of Jules getting hormone therapy and regular therapy supporting Jules in who she is and who she wants to be as well as regularly going out to eat and talking and we later see that he always checks up on Jules when he thinks something so seriously wrong like when Jules runs upstairs when her mom comes back and she waits for her dad upstairs or when he runs after Jules when she runs away but she doesn't talk to him because she doesn't trust him it's because of outside forces not him and her dad actually makes Jules get professional help not because he thinks there's something wrong with her but because she genuinely needs help and he understands why she won't talk to him but also understands she needs to talk to someone, aberama goes to the scariest mf in Birmingham because he can potentially help Bonnie on his boxing dream, Abe tests tommy to see if tommy would even help Bonnie and his dream, he does this by trying to buy to buy Charlie's yard, to see if tommy would do it but he only does this for bonnie because we find out Bonnie's tired of traveling(at least it's hinted) but after Bonnie's death we find out abe buys at least a miles worth of land with over thirty years worth of money and was already planning mansion (20 bedrooms specifically) with their own gym for Bonnie and stables to breed horses, all for Bonnie and his dreams

which makes both David and aberama ⬇️

🧑‍🍼supportive and understanding dad's🧑‍🍼

There's so much more I could do but I'm just gonna stop now

toodles 🤙💜

(ps I'm sorry if this looks weird I did this on my shitty phone because my dumb ass broke my computer anyways love you and your writing and hopefully your dreams aren't as weird as mine because I left out some weird ass details that I will take to my grave, as always you're amazing 😚💋)

Oh wow thats so cool, a crazy dream for reallll and so detailed?! I wish i was having dreams like that. But omg i love how your mind works cause I haven't actually seen much of euphoria (is it good i keep thinking i should try and watch it and just never getting round to it haha) but I think i understand what you mean about these characters. I love what u said about money/power between Michael and Maddie and how they can want the same things but in different ways.

Also everything you said about John is so right, i sometimes forget that theres this more serious side to him because hes always so laidback and playful but youre right, he really does know the struggle of raising kids alone but also i dont know, has a specific way (maybe not the best) thats like lighthearted way of making the best of a situation and just going with thw flow. I love the idea of him bonding with a single mum like that and becoming alcoholic besties haha (might write a modern au imagine based on this whole idea tbh)

And omg the stuff you said about Aberama is so true, i hadnt even thought about it that deeply in terms of him testing tommy and having all those plans for Bonnies future (and honestly it broke my heart a bit and i now have to live in a world where bonnie isnt dead and he's training in his own private gym in the Gold mansion) but Aberama really is just such a devoted father who wants the best for his son <3 <3 <3

Bestie ur so clever for all of this i love this message haha ❤️❤️❤️

[whatsonmymind22]

Here we go again. I’m back to a place I thought I wouldn’t return to. But this time, the tables have turned. It wasn’t me who fucked up this time. It was her. I still can’t get over it. It’s been a year. Almost to the day. November 11. Veterans Day. I will never think of it the same again. It will always be a reminder of what she carelessly did. I’m so infuriated with her. I can’t believe she did what she did. & the way she did it. I can’t get over it. I told her I forgave her. Which I believe I did. But I’m fucking pissed at her. The way she went about it and the details that surround it are what I can’t get over. They are etched in my brain. And what’s worse is that I know almost everything. The fact that she did it so willingly. She was sober. She didn’t use protection. She did it in his car, in our bed, with our kids in the next room. The fact that when I opened my bedroom door, she was standing there naked! Fucking naked, while he slipped out my 2nd story window like a fucking child. I know I did my own shit. But holy fuck. She never saw any of it. She doesn’t know the details of what happened. We moved away so she didn’t run into them. We still live here. He still lives here. We live not even 10 min away from him. Closer than before. She doesn’t know that I’ve driven by his house. Just to see what it looks like. And again, I visualize her being there that night. Having sex in his bed, while I’m blowing up her phone asking where she’s at. I swear to god, if anything has traumatized me more in life, it’s this. I’m fucking going to therapy now. I have so much anger. Most towards him but some towards her. But when I try to talk to her about it, she disregards what I say so why bother. So here I am. Talking to no one but yet telling everyone. I just need to vent. I need to let my anger out so that I can try to move on. One day at a time.

#marriage #vent post #therapy

[struggling-with-time]

How to spiral out of control [Simpbur x reader]

Pairing: c!Wilbur Soot x fem!reader (Simpbur x reader)

Summary: How simpbur became simpbur. And how you grew up and lived with him.

Warnings: Obsession, unhealthy obsession, stalking, murder, drugging, unhealthy relationship, and Simpbur being a creep.

Words: 5K

Masterlist: Wilbur’s Masterlist - Full Masterlist

A/N: Listen I had brainrot. And I don't know how to defend this. (Also requests are still open! Click here!) And it's unedited for now it's 5:12 am here I will edit later today

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Wilbur was a pretty insignificant child. The death of his mother being one of the most interesting things about his childhood. While he claimed not to blame his youngest brother for the loss of his mother. He certainly had a funny way of showing his youngest brother affection.

Wilbur is the middle child of three. A charming but quiet and well accomplished older brother, who seems to never have to end to his dedication neither success. And his youngest brother, a loud ball of sunshine that just seems to make everyone in a good mood. Truly good with people, something Wilbur never seemed to grasp.

His whole childhood tainted by that fact. Always living in the shadow of his brothers, the clear favourites of everyone who came near the family of four.

So his grades was just average, never good enough to get acknowledged, never bad enough to need extra attention. Just average, like the rest of him. He grew up lanky, not athletic neither unable to run. Wilbur was grey in a family of golden people. His father raised them alone for most of Wilbur’s life. His father that despite never saying it out loud had clear favourites in his brothers. It was always, oh and Wilbur too!

Never him, never just him.

So, Wilbur spent most of his childhood lonely, disregarded and weird. A pitiful child. A pathetic child.

The thing is there was one thing, that made Wilbur worth anyone’s time. One person. You.

His childhood best friend.

Well, that’s what anyone who only knew Wilbur would say. Because you were the only friend he had. However, it was different for you, although the two of you were good friends, you wouldn’t call him your best friend for years. That didn’t happen till you became teenagers.

You had always tried your best to include the weird kid in playdates, birthday parties, and playground games. But nobody else seemed to find him worth their time, with his weird and morbid comments. But you persisted that he wasn’t that weird, besides his older brother was really cool.

So, you stick around, you stick around as playdates become hangouts, as dolls become makeup, and homework goes from learning to read to writing essays.

While you had many friends, both come and go and stay, Wilbur had been there for as long as you could remember. A playground proposal documented on home video. And a remake of it on the day of your school dance. You had played along, but it was known to everyone that your childhood friend wanted to be more than friends. But you stayed, smiled for the camera and laughed it off.

Then the school dance was over, and the last exam had been taken. That’s when you moved a country over, and slowly you lost contact with the people you used to call friends, but Wilbur stayed. Wilbur always stayed.

He finally got the spot as the best friend in your mind too. A definite win in his book.

Wilbur had always been odd, a bit to the left of normal. But now, with distance and screens in between you, he only started to act more concerning. This was around the time he started talking about feeling depressed and useless.

Of course, you always told him you didn’t believe that, what else were you supposed to say? Your friendship turning more and more into therapy sessions once a week for Wilbur on your end. While for him it was the highlight of his week.

Clicking the call button beside your profile picture, an anime girl from one he had recommended to you himself. One he had stayed up an entire night to shift through different animes to find the perfect one to send your way. One he was guaranteed you would watch.

“Wilbur, I should really get off.”

“C’mon stay on just a bit later, please.”

The silence deafening over the video call, he watches you intensely as you pull your legs into your chest, your shitty webcam standing beside you on your bed.

Wilbur reached out for the energy drink beside him, a new habit he has picked up. The more hours spent on the computer, the more he seemed to consume.

“Fine, just half an hour more. But then it’s the last half hour.”

Wilbur smiles at that, you choosing him over everything else in the world. He likes that, he likes that a lot. You valuing him. Spending time with him, and only him. Your attention is his.

“We could always fall asleep on call, then we could keep talking.”

“Another day Wilbur, another day.”

That. That sentence he on the other hand didn’t like. Not one bit. A promise never kept. A promise left unspoken and unpromised from your side, but a broken and abandoned promise on his side.

Then there was the wall incident.

Wilbur wouldn’t have told you if it weren’t for you noticing the hole in his wall. One that matched his fist quite neatly. His father had taken his PS4 in punishment for Wilbur using so much the WiFi plan to call you. At least that’s what he told you.

In reality, he had gotten into a fight with his older brother, his brother had asked about you, how you were doing, and if he could say hi during a call. There was something about the words that had irked Wilbur, something that set him off, something about him that made his brother seem dangerous to Wilbur. So, he had decked his older brother in the face. Causing a blackeye to occur.

In return, Wilbur now sported a big black and blue spot from where he hit the floor. His brother having immediately tackled him.

And to Wilbur that had confirmed his thoughts. Other guys are dangerous, he’s the only one you should rely on.

The wall had taken the brunt of his rage that night, a screaming match with his dad that ended with his little brother getting sent to his friends' house, and his PS4 getting confiscated until Wilbur had gotten a job and was able to pay back the damages.

And he did get a job, much to your surprise. But you had encouraged him throughout it all. A dead-end cashier job that only seemed to make his world staler and more bothersome than before.

A time where he searched for every distraction possible, gaming, music, you.

You were proud of him when he got the hole in his wall fixed, and even more when he kept his job. And Wilbur doesn’t remember you ever giving him more praise than the day he told you he was starting to investigate going to university.

Naturally, you helped him, and along the way, Wilbur picked up a guitar. A new asset to his den of depression that his room had become, decked in led lights, and overpriced RGB gaming stuff.

The university acceptance came rather quick, and suddenly Wilbur was packing up his life and heading to university. Boxes filled with stuff he barely remembered owning, and kitchen appliances that would never see the light of the day.

And he can feel you starting to drift, already busy with your own life. But he clings to you.

He stays, Wilbur always stays in your life. Even when you drift.

Wilbur knows it’s affecting him. It’s not hidden from anyone. The longer that goes between the two of you talking, the sourer his mood gets. The longer you don’t respond to him, the more messages he sends. The more information he craves to know.

Who are you talking to?

Who are you seeing?

Who is so much more important than him?

Hadn’t he always been there for you?

Hadn’t he always stayed?

You owe him.

Wilbur grows bitter and resentful. But not to you, never to you. But for everyone around you. His biggest joys in life now coming from the ungodly amount of caffeine he drinks, and whenever you reach out first.

This is why the day you call him asking for help is forever a day that will bring him joy.

“Hey Will, you’re really good with tech, and I was wondering if you wanted to help me start streaming.”

He chokes on the energy drink. He chokes on his words. He chokes on the air. He drowns.

His heart aching. His anger festering. His-

“Sure.”

He hears himself respond before he can even process the thought.

It takes him 2 days of absence from university, and what feels like 2 even longer nights, before he’s an expert on how to stream. He reads everything he can find, he watched everything that gets suggested.

You asked him for help, so he will help.

But Wilbur, spends these hours conflicted. You want his help, not someone else’s, someone lesser than him. Him.

But at the same time. His mind keeps wandering, isn’t he enough any longer? Isn’t he good enough for you? Why isn’t he good enough for you? Why? Why?

And thus, he learns you how to use the software, and beings alongside you. He finds comfort in knowing most of your streams whenever possible is spent with him on a call with you.

Although that happens after hours of pestering, that doesn’t matter. He gets to talk to you, while the rest is limited to a measly chat.

You seem to find yourself comfortably in the gaming category, slowly growing. Slowly rising.

Wilbur’s own streams, on the other hand, feels more like incoherent rants interrupted by his guitar plays. And once in a blue moon, you are on call with him.

It doesn’t take long before he gives up, watching you grow. Finding more comfort in watching you, instead of being the watched. Not that anyone really did watch him besides for you.

Wilbur stays out of a camera, as you only seem to grow more comfortable being in front of one.

The first time you have someone on a call with you on stream, who isn’t Wilbur. He just can’t help but break his bedside lamp. It’s a guy nonetheless. A guy from the internet. The type of guy Wilbur has never been shy to tell you horror stories about.

And this is where another bad habit of his started to emerge. He just can’t help himself. But you’re laughing with someone else. You’re smiling for someone else. You’re his. Not anyone else’s. His. His. His.

Wilbur is quick to find the donating button he had helped you set up himself. At that time it had only been used a couple of times. Nothing big. But Wilbur wants big. He wants attention. He wants you.

He fumbles with his credit card as he keys in the numbers, he’s a bit too familiarised with them. Because anything he can get from the internet will be delivered that way.

And then the notification pops up on your screen. A donation number you had never expected. And you start crying. Right there. Right on stream. And Wilbur sucks it up. He sucks it right up that you’re crying for him, whiling praising him, and only him.

The match you were playing ruined, and Wilburs smile only grows as he hears the familiar tone of discord receiving a call.

That night. You had ditched the fellow streamer to thank Wilbur and hang out with him.

Something you never thought you would regret.

But oh, how you did. How you did.

It takes Wilbur around 2 months to get used to a large sum of money means special attention to him, and only him. For everyone to see.

And he can feel you pulling away, so each time he donates, it’s bigger. Larger. Grander.

He’s never on your stream without a donation anymore. Never on call for free. But Wilbur doesn’t mind, because everyone gets to see you’re his.

And he keeps increasing the amount as you keep growing until he hits a stalemate. He’s using half of his paycheck on you, while he doesn’t mind going hungry a couple of days. His bills won’t wait for him. And he has been living away from home for far too long to ever think about calling up his father and ask for money.

Not to mention his oldest brother would never. Then neither will Wilbur. Because Wilbur is better. Better than all of them.

The larger your stream grows, the closer graduation arrives, and then Wilbur is sitting in another apartment. Another dead-end job. Another grey life.

Another dull life passing him by. Your voice constantly on loop his apartment. Constantly filling his life. As it always has. But to you, Wilbur is barely a part of your everyday. Only really showing up when a donation comes in. As you once again tell him not to spend money on you.

But he seems to stay. Wilbur always stays.

He’s the first to like anything you post on social media. Always online never off. Always lurking. Never missing. Never absent. He’s always there.

Wilbur never misses a stream; he schedules his life around yours. Even if you’re a country away.

And then one day you’re not. You’re not a country away, you’re moving back. You’re moving closer. And suddenly you live an hour away by car. Instead of an airplane ride, and shitty trains.

Suddenly Wilbur can see himself get a foot in the door. No longer grasping onto his parasitic parasocial friendship with you. He can see himself being more than the childhood friend who has always been there. He can see himself as the partner that always is there.

Wilbur is giddy the entire car ride. He’s giddy as he feels his bag burn on his shoulder. And he’s giddy until the second you embrace him in a hug and welcome him into your new apartment.

It’s bigger than the one you’ve had since university.

And then his future crumbles. You start talking about a guy named Jared. Fucking Jared. Why did even his name have to leave a sour taste in his mouth? A guy you met over the internet. Not just any guy. No specifically the fucker from the first time Wilbur had donated.

Apparently, he wasn’t a streamer, but a friend you had made during your 2 years you lived at university but never told Wilbur about. Not a single mention of him, and suddenly he’s all you’re talking about.

How could Wilbur have known? You hadn’t even mentioned him on stream. Wilbur always listened so carefully, writing down everyone you mentioned. You had called him attentive once, and he would never want to disappoint you. Maybe if he was attentive enough you would look his way.

Instead, here you are talking about this Jared guy. And Wilbur knows what he has to do. A thought he has been toying with for around 3 years now. Ever since you went to Disneyland together. A trip he paid for, and a trip that was streamed, so everyone could see you were his. You were always his.

That was easily his favourite video.

In the week up to the vacation, Wilbur had done everything he could to learn about cameras so he could help you, and do the most for you. He had even helped you sort through some of the non-streamed videos he filmed too for a YouTube video for you.

Which is where he found the clip of you changing.

The camera had been resting on your hotel bed, the video having a clear Dutch angle, leaving the hotel room slandered. But there you were, right square and centre still. Changing. It takes you a minute to finish before you turn around and pick the camera up again. Mumbling something as you turn it to show off your hotel room, and then the clip cuts to black.

He never told you about it, instead just saving that specific clip on a USB stick. A piece of tech he valued more than his life. Not that his life had ever been worth much in comparison to his.

Wilbur rips his bag open, careful not to make a lot of noise. He removed his clothes, and then the fake bottom. And underneath it reveals small security cameras.

Wilbur has never been more thankful for you being a heavy sleeper and letting him sleep on a mattress on the floor of your bedroom. He quietly sets up two in your bedroom, before moving into the rest of your house. One in your office that has been converted to a streaming room. His own personal angle to your public life.

Two more in the living room, he skips the kitchen and hesitates at the door of your bathroom. For the first time, he hesitates. His hand hovers over the doorknob, the other holding the camera.

“Wilbur?”

You’re standing in the hallway, sleep evident on your face.

“Will why are you making so much noise?”

“No reason darling, go back to bed, just needed some water.”

His breath is stuck in his throat until he hears you close the bedroom door again.

That was the first time he hesitated. And his last. He couldn’t afford it. He couldn’t afford to lose you further.

The rest of the trip passes Wilbur by as you introduce him to Jared. The douchebag himself. The asshole. The guy who dares take away what is Wilbur’s. Even on the ride home. All Wilbur can see is Jared’s image etched into his mind. His god-awful fashion sense. The way everything, he wore around you, just seemed to be a size too small. Nobody wants to see that fuckers’ muscles. Wilbur’s knuckles turn white, as he grips the steering wheel.

Jared has to go.

He’s ruining everything. He’s not part of the dream you told Wilbur you had. Jared has never been part of that. Wilbur was supposed to be part of that. Even if the dream changed through the year. Even if the one you’re living now is the unimaginable future the two of you imagined up at seventeen. But one thing was sure. Jared wasn’t part of that. Wilbur was.

Wilbur easily finds himself a new normal at home. The trip giving him a refreshed sense of hope. A plan in the making. His daily routine now including watching you all hours of the day. Not just your streams any longer. Every single second he can wrench out of those cameras.

And suddenly his friendship seems to improve with you too. Because now he can see when you’re sad and in need of a friend. He reaches out at the perfect time. Abusing your vulnerable state. Because it’s the best to do. It’s for the betterment of your future.

The more Wilbur is there for you, the more he resents Jared. He deserved to be in your bed, not that asshole. He deserves to reap the rewards of his hard labour. He is the one that has always been there because Wilbur has always stayed.

A simple click is all it takes for Wilbur and the item has been placed in a cart. Mere keystrokes and it has been paid. A single click and Wilbur has truly gone insane, as a packet is shipped off. A packet containing a bottle of sleeping pills.

The next time you invite Wilbur down, you barely recognise him as you open the door. Eyebags so deep you’ve never seen before. His entire body slightly twitching, and that manic smile on his lips. Wilbur brushes your concerns off, claiming that’s just what happens in real workplaces. Not that you would know anything about that.

Wilbur hates the feeling of insulting you, but you had barely responded the entire week. You deserved to suffer for a moment. Before he caves and apologises for being rude. That’s the moment you can see the resembles of his normal being as he hangs his shoulders.

Jared comes over that night. Just as Wilbur had planned. And this time he won’t hesitate. He even bought a bigger car for this.

Wilbur offers to mix the drinks, claiming to have learnt a new recipe. Which isn’t a lie, he has learned how to perfect just the right cocktail thick enough that covers the chalky residue of the pills. And sweet enough to make the bitter taste disappear.

He serves them, keeping a watchful eye as the night drags on, and Jared never seems to shut up. But Wilbur can deal with it for one night. Just for one. And then he won’t ever have to worry about Jared again.

He serves another.

And then another drink.

And finally. Finally. You’re starting to get tired. Slowly leaning against Wilbur. And he takes pride in that. Great pride. You didn’t choose to lean against Jared, you’re leaning against Wilbur.

Wilbur sits still until Jared too is starting to fall asleep. Wilbur is ecstatic.

He gets up slowly, gently laying you down, a pillow underneath your face. A blanket over you. He kisses your forehead and smells your hair. Taking in the shampoo scent still lingering.

Then Wilbur gets moving, he has stuff to do. Plans to execute after all.

He does his best to get Jared’s left arm over his shoulders. But their awkward height difference makes it difficult, but he can make it work. It has to work. He only gets one shot.

Wilbur gets the front door open before he realises a fatal flaw in his plan. He has to drag Jared down 3 floors worth of stairs. He realises he can’t do it the way he is now. He has to drag him down by his armpits instead.

It takes him the first flight of stairs to realise Jared shoes are making too much noise. He has to abandon them, Wilbur awkwardly gets Jared leaned against the wall before he removes Jared’s polished black shoes. Wilbur leaves them there, making a mental note to remember them when he comes back.

The rest of the stairs, while difficult and definitely breathtaking for someone who has no muscle strength. He makes it work. Wilbur actually makes it work.

He made it work. It worked. Oh god. It’s working.

Wilbur repositions Jared once more, his arm once again over Wilbur’s shoulders. The night sky greeting him as he steps out of the apartment complex. With great difficulty, Wilbur gets the two of them over to his car, where he throws open the trunk. In the proceed shaking the car, setting off the car alarm. Wilbur is quick to drop Jared as he fumbles after his car keys. It takes him nearly a full minute to turn off the car alarm.

Wilbur curses under his breath.

Annoyed with the time loss. He finally gets the knocked-out Jared into his trunk, and he shuts it again. Just as a front door in the apartment complex opens. A man steps out. He raises a hand to Wilbur, before pulling out a smoke.

Wilbur shuffles on his feet before raising a hand. And then awkwardly gets into his car.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

He has a body in his trunk. Now he just has to get to the harbour. Wilbur starts the car and starts the ride to the harbour a town over.

Half an hour has gone past when Wilbur is pulling the handbrake, and taking the keys out. He’s quick to get out, and even quicker to get to Jared. Wilbur keeps thinking about you. Your smile. Your kindness. Your voice. Your beauty. Your grace. As his hands are securing zip ties around the wrists and ankles of an unconscious man.

He has to go.

Wilbur reminds himself.

A cloth is tied around Jared’s filthy mouth, and then Wilbur is back to dragging him. It’s both easier and harder. Easier before he’s just dragging him across the pebbles and over to the brink of the harbour. Both of his arms are under both of Jared’s.

But it’s harder because if someone sees him it’s going to get difficult to explain. But nobody does. As far as Wilbur is aware.

So a splash is made by a body, and Jared is unceremoniously sinking to the bottom of the ocean floor.

Wilbur takes one more breath of fresh air. Before turning around and getting back into his new car.

He’s quick to arrive at your apartment complex. The man was no longer there. Wilbur goes to grip the front door. It doesn’t bulge.

Oh yeah, it’s locked.

He fishes the copy he made of your house key from his keychain and lets himself into the building he doesn’t live in. An invited guest, that has turned out to be an uninvited one.

He can feel the tiredness setting in his bones, as he ascends the stairs. And the realisation that he just killed someone hasn’t dawned on him yet. Instead, all his muscles are aching, and his eyes barely staying open.

He stumbles into your apartment. Another kiss gets left on your forehead as he goes for your bed. The smell is so nice. It’s so obvious to him this is where you sleep. And he’s soaking in each moment until his eyes are giving out.

His night remaining dreamless, instead, he gets awoken rather rudely around noon. You’ve pulled the comforter off him and told him to get up, so the two of you can spend some timeacting together. and Wilbur happily does that.

Not at all acing like a man who purposely took another person’s life mere hours ago. You rush him to get into his clothes. As you have something planned for rest of the day out of the apartment. You’re talking his ears off as you descend the first flight stairs your personal puppy in tow.

When you stop dead in your tracks. Wilbur nearly stumbles into you.

“Will, is that Jared’s shoes?”

And right there is in fact Jared’s shoes. The pair Wilbur had forgotten all about. The pair he had left unintentionally.

“Are you sure about that? Thought he already left.” Wilbur lies, he may be awkward, but he has gotten pretty good at lying to you through the years.

“Yeah yeah, you’re right. Why would he leave his shoes?”

The question gets left unanswered, and the tension is thick until you get outside, and the sun is shining. It seems it knows too of how good this day is for Wilbur, a dawn of a new era. Where you will finally acknowledge him as the perfect one for you.

The man from the nightstand once again with a smoke and raises his hand to greet Wilbur, once again Wilbur shuffles on his feet before he raises a hand back. You look at him weirdly, and Wilbur shrugs it off.

The rest of the day happening without any mishaps or other incidents. But the shoes just can’t seem to leave your mind, despite how hard Wilbur is trying to distract you.

And then the afternoon passes, and the night, and the car ride, and Wilbur is once again home. And as soon as the door closes. He crumbles down on the floor.

Oh god.

He did it.

He actually fucking did it.

He isn’t useless.

He’s fucking Wilbur, and Wilbur stays in your life. Even when you make such stupid mistakes as falling for another person. There’s only one person for you and that’s him.

You’re actually the first one to call him this time, and the smile never leaves his lips. Even if the call is about Jared. And how worried you are about not having heard from him. Wilbur just tells you; you should have listened to him. Guys on the internet are just like that. And that you deserve better. Someone like him.

You laugh at this and thank him for calming you down.

Wilbur suddenly loves phone calls.

This bliss is perfect for Wilbur you’re talking to him more and more. And he watches, god he watches you. Every step you take in that apartment is filmed logged on his computer.

However, all good things must come to an end, and Wilbur has barely pulled off his tie after work when a group of loud knocks sounds at his door. He isn’t expecting guests.

A group of men in blue uniforms greets him.

“Wilbur Soot, you’re under the arrest for the Murder of Jared Yarrow.”

Wilbur barely registers what’s going on, before he’s in a holding cell. A psych evaluation under his belt. A phone call to his father asking him to help him out.

The days bleed together in the unchanging environment, and suddenly a defender is telling him to plead for insanity.

Then the defender comes back again days later with a court date, and all Wilbur can do is count the seconds.

Time for the first time since arriving slows down when the doors to the court open and Wilbur is lead into the courtroom. And there you are, looking beautiful as ever. Tears and despair clearly written on your face. You look away from him, and it makes him stumble for a moment. A quick look to the other side, confirms his fear. His father is here. Alongside his brothers.

The trial goes over what happened that night, the evidence, the sleeping medication, the car. Everything. Yet even when his sentence is received, even when he is told he won’t see the sun again for a long time. There is only one thing on his mind.

They never found the cameras.

And he just can’t help but smile at that as he’s getting lead away to rot.

Because Wilbur has always stayed by your side, Wilbur always stays. -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

#wilbur soot #Simpbur #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot x reader #simpbur x you #c!wilbur soot x reader #simpbur x reader #c!wilbur #c: simpbur #c!wilbur x reader #c!wilbur fanfic #c!wilbur x you #c!wilbur soot x you #dsmp #mcyt #fanfic #female!reader #delias own writing

[sunlitmcgee]

Okay. I slept on it. And I think I’ve fully figured out why exactly it is that aside from obvious “comfort relationship turned sour and 2/3 comfort characters are nasty little two-faced brats) reasons, there’s a very simple explanation for why c!Beeduo’s mistreatment of c!Tommy post revival has hit so damn hard in the worse way possible. This is half analysis half ramble so heads up ahead of time

So, chommy, yes? Baby? Baby boy? Baby boy child son? Little scrunky doodle child whom we here at dsmplr adore with many notable but unimportant exceptions? He’s great, yes? Good kid? Real good kid whose been through some real bad shit and deserves to be supported and loved and cared for so he can slowly heal from it and recover in full in order to live a full happy life?

Here’s the things about c!Tommy: In all of his relationships across the server’s plotlines, c!Tommy has almost always, as a rule of thumb, been either a follower, a wingman, a second in command, or a straight up tool/toy to further another, usually older, person’s goals. He’s always the second in command. He’s always the one who does what the other person says and doesn’t get much of a say in anything without having it used against him. With Wilbur he was a follower turned victim then little brother figure. With Philza he’s the troubled kid who needs to be taught manners and lessons. With Sam he’s a kid he wants to help but so rarely does so in a way that Tommy can appreciate without suffering negative consequences(Ranboo’s murder comes to mind). And with Dream it’s obvious, because toys don’t get a say in anything they get to do :)

He’s always an afterthought in someone else’s story. And part of what made me love c!Benchtrio so much was that...they were just friends. They were all friends and all kids and all traumatized and all just hanging out and having fun. There was no power imbalance. No one bigger than c!Tommy or older than him. No one who could take advantage of him being so young and so helpless and so vulnerable as a way to use him or hurt him in some way, intentionally or not, doesn’t matter. There wasn’t anything like that with c!Benchtrio post revival pre outpost. It was clear that they were all on equal footing with each other, that they loved, cared, respected and were willing to take turns calling the shots to help each other heal.

It was nice.

It was so damn nice to see ctommy just...get to play with his friends. Get to have fun and be a kid. To see him be allowed to take charge when it came to all his little projects, to lead them around for exposure therapy, to see cbeeduo let him do what he needed to while offering support and space and anything he needed. it was so nice! It was so fucking nice!

But then the outpost arc happened.

And then c!Beeduo, for reasons we still don’t know, somehow decided to go behind ctommy’s back and decided he wasn’t worth it. That he wasn’t good enough. That he wasn’t worth the time or effort it took to be friends, and that he should just learn to deal with a cold shoulder that he’s not allowed to lean on and not be told why exactly he’s being left behind again. C!Beeduo took the one bit of power they had over ctommy, that being his unending loyalty to those he loves and refusal to give up on them no matter how many times they hurt him, and saw fit to use it as a way to disregard his feelings, his emotions, his needs for company and support, and even his humanity so that they could get away guilt-free with leaving him behind and dumping him into the dirt.

And we have no reason as to why.

I have theories.

All of them revolve around the same idea of c!Tubbo being so spoiled by the marriage that he’s forgotten how to view people as people and treats everything as a part of the perfect dollhouse of a life illusion he’s cast up around himself in order to stay sane. Most involve him deeming c tommy as too “messy” to fit into his perfect life. Most involve c ranboo being too dumb and too whipped to argue and just enabling his hubby because he doesn’t have a spine.

It’d explain them leaving c !Tommy to die.

It’d explain them abandoning him to deal with c!Wilbur.

It’d explain c!Tubbo cackling at c!Tommy’s grave while he got in good and cushy with the pig that ruined their lives a hundred times over. It’d explain him not caring about cdream being free. it’d explain him never visiting in exile or all the other ways he failed and failed and left and let tommy be tortured just to spare himself the trouble.

It sickens me, just how easily people in ctommy’s life get away with abandoning him or using him. I thought c!Beeduo were different. I thought they’d be the 1 relationship he’d have where he wasn’t the toy or the tool or the child to be led down whatever path an adult had to choose. I thought they’d all play and hang out and heal and love each other, but apparently that was a lie, and apparently there’s truly no such thing as a relationship in which c!Tommy is fully equal. Apparently he is doomed to be in service to others. And apparently I was so damn stupid for daring to think otherwise.

It’s just sad.

It’s just sick.

#dream smp #dream smp analysis #meta #c!beeduo critical #c!tubbo critical #c!ranboo critical #c!tommy #c!tommy apologist #tw abuse mention #tw abandonment

[bluemeetgrey]

Unpopular opinion…

Is Ty a morally great character? I don’t know and none of you do too. Because we barely know anything about him. Even though the twins solve most of the mystery in TLM, they were constantly sideline by Emma and Julian because of their age. And there is nothing wrong with that, Julian needs to protect his kids and this is the only way he knows how. But the results of that is, we know nothing about Ty, except for the fact that he is smart, likes animal and Beautiful, (thank you Christopher, you can sit down now). 

By the second book, we learned a little more about him through Kit. But most of it is probably unreliable information because as hard as it is for me to admit, Kit it’s kind of a unreliable narrator. We all know, (with the exception of Christopher himself), that he fell in love whit Ty at first sight. This means that starting from that point onward, everything he says about Ty, contains way too much bias to be taken as factual evidence. It’s unfair to judge someone’s character, based on bias information. 

Actions speak louder than words. Through his actions in the second book, protecting Kit, agreeing to become parabatai whit Livvy to protect her and freeing the fairies in the shadow market, even though they were all desperate go back to the Institute. Indicates that he is compassionate and kind, not just towards people he love, but to the world around him.

Let’s talk about the letter to Annabel. I need a whole entire paragraph for this! This boy is just *chefs kiss*! And to those who thinks Ty is Uncompassionate and cole. Please remember that throughout the whole entire Shadowhunters Chronicle, Ty is the only person who treated Annabelle like a person instead of a tool, something to be fear or something to be protected. What about Malcolm? You might ask. I believe Malcolm did love her and still do. But at a certain point Annabelle became an ideal, instead of a person with free will to him. He is so desperate to have somebody who would love him for who he was, that he lost all his humanity and disregard it who she truly was. Unlike Ty who is willing to open his heart to her and acknowledge her pain and suffering. The most important thing here is that he bargain with her, giving her a choice to say no.  This is a very big deal, because for the first time in 400 years, someone give her the power to decide her life instead of her oppressors. And no one else, not Julian, Emma or Magness thought of that. None of them thought of her as an actual person with feelings and want.

In the third book Ty was grieving, I mean half of his world crumbled. He was only 15th! And should’ve definitely be in therapy. But instead circumstances push him to move on. He has no way of letting out that grief, so he did the only thing he knows how, which is to bring her back. And even then he made a conscious choice not to harm anyone while doing so. He could’ve used a fresh power source, by killing someone like Malcolm. But he chose not to.

 And i’m not blaming Kit for leading him on because Ty is his only light and he would do anything not to snuff it out.

Also the lack of Ty POV is another reason why I can’t exactly judge him. I don’t know who he is or what he’s like. But based on the information that I’m given, Ty is ambitious but compassionate. Unlike Valentime, Axel, Tatiana and Benedick, he would never let his ambition get in the way of his  kindness. He is someone with humility, evidence by his remorse during The Lost World. He is stubborn and prideful, probably not used to being wrong. But I’m hoping that this would change, as he develops in TWP.

#ty blackthorn #kit herondale #livvy blackthorn #julian blackthorn #emma carstairs #malcolm fade #tda #tsc #magnus bane #sobh #zoe’s random shit #annabelle blackthorn