A Catfish??
All of the bat children are horrified when they found out the boy Damian has been talking online, someone they were expecting to be a 5’3 twig. Someone who Damian has been crushing on for years turned out to be a 6’3 muscle-bound fucker that makes Jason look small.
They are even more horrified when they realized they never gave Damian the internet talk and for some reason Bruce is not reacting like this is something of concern and what the fuck-?!
The reason Bruce is not freaking out like the rest of his kids is quite simple.
He can see the last of the baby fat clinging to Danny’s face, he notices how even though Danny is a walking tank of a being, he still glances at the doorways like they could not be trusted.
Like he wasn’t used to his height.
No Bruce is not concerned, because all signs and research just points to one fact.
Danny Fenton has came into a Fenton-sized growth spurt.
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Having so many de aged! Jason feelings. I might just burst.
Dick and Tim theorize on how a small, happy little baby winded up in Jason's apartment. It's no secret their brother, a wall of bulk with a tender core, houses the homeless sometimes.
Maybe the baby is someone's? But if so, why was he alone? Jason isn't exactly famous for his unquestionable wisdom, but he's too caring to leave a defenceless infant by himself.
More importantly, why is this baby rolling on his tummy on a familiar brown jacket, evidently craving to be picked up?
"Can you take him? I'm not..." Tim's not good with kids; It's a running joke among them. Even If there's nothing comical about this.
Dick nods. His pride does swell when the baby giggles and coos.
"He has good taste."
" Okay, Narcissus. Let's take him home before your head pops,'' was Tim just a tiny bit jealous this little chubby cheeked thing was snuggling close to Dick, while downright glowering at him?
Maybe. A little. But babies were glorified chunks of meat, shaped just enough like a human to be considered cute. What did they know?
So they get home. It's a pleasant rarity, but they're all in one place.
All except Bruce, of course. Too busy bleeding on the streets to spend any time with them, Dick huffs,
Poor Damian is trying to jump and leap amongst them giants, struggling to take a peek at their young guest, " Grayson! I want the baby!"
" He's not a toy, Dami," they all share a silent look, clearly thinking the same thing. He got it from Bruce,
"What does it do?"
" He's a baby, Steph. He's not even aware he exists!"
" God I wish that were me,"
Duke looks at Babybird, as Dick affectionately took to calling him, with a strange, quizzical look, " He looks familiar. You said you found him at Jay's?"
" Yeah, but I'm taking him to a firestation. I just had to show B. You know he likes volunteering at daycares. Maybe he'll recognize him."
" Recognize who?"
Babybird was chewing on his own foot when the elevator doors slid open. Cass wasn't a wordsmith.
She read movements and actions as one listens to music.
Every member of her beloved family was a song of their own; Dick was motivational and calming.
Stephanie was packed with action, brimming with electrifying energy that just made you want to jump.
Tim was clean and precise with accents of pop. Duke was light and happy and silently confident. Damian was angry, and passionate and brave.
Bruce was powerful, sad, and perfectly tragic.
But when Babybird shrieked, yelled out in happiness and excitement and tried to wiggle out of Dick's arms with a sunshine beam and grabby hands?
Her father was a love song.
"Jay," The name sounds like Bruce is choking. His eyes are burning with tears, marching directly to Dick, " Jay? Jay!"
" Wh--"
"Dada!" Babybird, -- Jason? They only now noticed the white curl bouncing on top of his head, ( their inner detectives groan) " Dadadada, pap papi pap,"
They can't do anything, frozen in place, as Bruce spends the following two hours planting a garden of kisses on Jason's cheeks, full with laughter, while they read and color and build blocks.
"Uh, Bruce? I'm...I'm gonna call Zatanna."
" In a minute."
" DAD, --"
" In a minute."
It wasn't just a minute. It was an entire week.
As ridiculous as it was? They were starting to get jealous.
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Tim: So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room
Damian stole a full grown elephant from the zoo 
Damian: His name is Dumbo if we’re going to talk about
Bruce: Damian you have returned the elephant
Damian : HIS NAME IS DUMBO AND IM GOING TO TRAIN HIM TO FLY AND RIDE INTO BATTLES !
Dumbo does a war cry !
Damian: he has a heart of a warrior!
Jason: I blame dick for this
Dick: why me ?!
Jason: You’re the one that keeps showing him Disney movies
Dick: Sorry for trying to give a regular children movies and not the Braveheart movie
Jason: It’s a good movie !
Bruce : Damian you can’t keep dumbo
Damian: you may take my life but never take my freedom!
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Damian and Tim are getting along he sees the suspicious glances shared from Jason, and Bruce.
Even Alfred but Dick can't be more happy his two favorite people are getting along.
Today he watched Tim help walk Titus and he found them last night snuggled together in Damian's room.
He couldn't stop himself from flopping down on top of them he woke up so well rested knowing his baby birds were safe and content in his arms.
Don't get him wrong he knows they are up to no good he's also well aware that for a long time now there has been no real animosity between them.
Every fight is carefully calculated to throw Bruce off their trail.
How either a rouge or some dictator would conveniently go missing right after Damian was caught trying to stab Tim.
He's not an idiot and why would his Robin's hide from him.
Dick Grayson has never denied being a bit of a possessive person especially with his little bird's.
So what if evidence is erased or bloody clothes is hidden he has no problem sharing a secret smirk with Tim.
It really wasn't that hard to dissolve the remains of a couple Animal Abusers to see Dami's smile.
He would do anything for his boys and Bruce doesn't have to know exactly how far he will go.
All that matters is Tim and Damian.
He would happily bury Bruce just to hear a giggle from those two.
But for now he will be a good nightwing and cuddle his birds and make sure he gets in on whatever chaos they are causing this week.
It will also be Dick, Tim, and Damian he will do anything to keep it that way.
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