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#They were worse than BOTH of them combined
chrisdr3 · 2 days
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Anger, gone ~ MV1
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Angst then smut
Summary: Max finds a better way to to calm his anger than the previous one, and it's focused on Y/n.
Angry!Max x Reader
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Max was known for his dominance in F1, and his non-stop wins were angering many fans of the sport. He was called "Mad Max" because of his viciousness on the track, like the lion on top of his helmet. But, there was another thing that was making him vicious and unstoppable: his anger.
He was calm and collected in his everyday life, but when he was getting in his car, he let his anger lead his actions sometimes. In his earlier years in F1 it was worse. However, now, having 3 WDC's in his back for 3 consecutive years, he has matured enough to not get angry easily, but when he did, he was furious, feared sometimes, and no one could calm him down.
Except from you. It was like you were magic. You took his anger away even if you did the least thing possible. Your favourite way of calming him down was to step on the shower with him and then go to bed cuddling, seeking eachothers warmth under the covers.
There were some incredibly rare cases that it didn't work. Sometimes he was ignoring you, sitting alone outside with a bottle of whiskey, not giving a fuck if it was raining or cold. He was spending these nights like this and was joining you early in the morning in bed, smelling like alcohol.
The Australian GP was one of these rare times. Having to retire in lap 5 due to his brakes catching fire, it made him furious with everyone in the team. Christian and GP tried to calm him down but failed, persuading him to stay and watch the rest of the race . You didn't talk to him throughout the rest of the race, afraid he'll snap at you.
Meanwhile, Max was angry at the team for the brakes failing him, angry he couldn't continue in the race, and a bit disappointed with himself, seeing you sit away from him, clearly sad and afraid of his outbursts. When the race ended, he took the stuff of you both from his driver's room, grabbed your hand and left, taking you with him.
The car ride to the hotel was quick, the tension being nearly touchable in the air. Nax had his hand in the inside of your thigh, gripping it tightly whilst speeding to your hotel. Neither of you spoke, his anger getting the best of him, and you, watching out the window, too stunned to speak.
You got in the hotel and you sat in the bed, opening your phone and scrolling through Instagram, supposing he would shower, grab a bottle of whiskey and go outside. That's what you thought, tho, seeing him go to the bathroom, not saying a word.
You were really distracted by your phone and didn't notice him getting out, untill a hand took your phone and left it to the coffee table and pushed you back in the bed, pulling your shorts down. He held your hands above your head and took off your crop top. "You're gonna be a good girl and let me get my anger away, understood?" He growled in your ear. "Y-yes..." You stuttered as he unhooked and took of your bra with one hand. (Credit to @ashmakopoulou for the bra thingy)
He let the towel in his waist fall down as he squeezed and kissed your nipples, leaving dark hickeys and bite marks on them. You let out a breathy moan and he bit your nipple. "Shut your pretty mouth, babygirl." You didn't make any more sounds and let him continue. He continued kissing your body, whilst holding your hands still above your head. He kissed your torso, stomach and waist and then he took off yor panties, practically ripping them in half.
You squirmed as the cold air hit your throbbing cunt and tried to hold back a moan when Max pressed one finger on your clit. "I'm gonna ruin this little pussy tonight." He growled. The next moment his finger entered your hole and he started moving it fast and hard. You tried muffling your moans, but the pressure on your clit and his fingers thrusting in you combined made you come on his hand with a loud groan.
He licked his fingers clean with a groan and continued teasing you, this time using the tip of his dick. It was rock hard and standing straight, veins being visible on it's sides. He was running it up and down your slit, collecting your wetness. A loud moan escaped your lips as he pushed in hard without any warnings. He then tied your wrists to the headboard with a belt, using his free hand to grab your waist. He thrusted in really hard, making you hiss at the painful feeling.
He stayed still for a bit, biting your stomach gently and then, after he was sure you were okay, he continued thrusting fast and hard, hitting your g-spot mercilessly, his pace bruising. You were rapidly becoming a sweaty, moaning mess when his fingers reached your clit and started toying with it.
His hard thrusts and his fingers on your clit combined made you come undone again. He didn't pull back or take his dick out, thrusting harder instead, making you reach your third climax for the night.
He then pulled out and came on your stomach, then laid down between your legs, making it seem like he's done. You were laying down in a post-orgasmic state, your body relaxing from the tiredness and tension, your breathing and heartbeat calming down.
You had completely calmed down when you felt Max's tongue in your pussy, licking you up and down. You raised your head as much as you could and saw Max's face buried in-between your lehs, licking you.
"Such a sweet pussy, babygirl." Max growled, groaning at your sweetness. Then he lowered his head and continued to eat you out. You were becoming needier and needier as he teased you with his tongue, and you tried pulling your hands out of the belt, hoping you could free them from the headboard. You wanted to push Max's head in your pussy with your hands, but when he noticed he made the belt tighter.
He then started eating your pussy and sucking on your clit like he was a starved man eating food after weeks, overwhelming you with pleasure and slowly building up another orgasm. You squirmed when you felt his fingers get inside you, rubbing your g-spot.
Your breath became faster and heavier. You started to moan and groan uncontrollably, so Max muffled you with his free hand, still fingering you brutally. Soon, the familiar knot formed on your stomach and you came undone, filling his face and hand with your juices.
Max then licked his fingers, got to the bathroom to clean himself and came back with a warm cloth. He released your hands and kissed your bruised wrists. "You were so good for me princess, thank you." He whispered, cleaning you up entirely and then hugging your exhausted body. You both fell asleep naked, cuddling, his anger completely gone.
Taglist: @norizz-nation @changetyre @dilemmaontwolegs @thef1diary
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hbyrde36 · 2 days
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For my beloved @penny00dreadful 💜🖤
My fandom bestie, writing soulmate, and one of my absolute favorite people in the entire world.
Happy (early) Birthday 🌈👠💖
Huge thanks to @pearynice and @hitlikehammers for all your help in making this story come to life!
WC: 3483 | Ch 1/4 | AO3 <-
Chapter 1: Over the Rainbow
To be perfectly honest, Steve always felt a little unsafe riding around in the van with Eddie. It wasn’t that he was a bad driver, per se, but he was definitely a distracted one, constantly needing to be reminded to keep his eyes on the road instead of the tape deck. He also tended to treat speed limits as more of a suggestion than something enforceable by law.
Tonight was no exception, the feeling of unease even worse than usual because of the storm raging outside. They shouldn’t have even been on the road in these conditions, a fact Steve had tried in vain to convince Eddie of. Hawkins was under a tornado warning for fuck’s sake! But the other boy wouldn’t hear it, their errand was too important.
They had plenty of beer, but they needed snacks. 
According to Eddie there was absolutely no way they could enjoy Friday the 13th part 27, or whatever ridiculous number sequel it was that he wanted to watch, properly without the three basic food groups: Pringles, Twizzlers, and some form of chocolate.
They were having a movie night, just him and Eddie. It was no big deal, really. Steve wasn’t nervous about it at all. They’d been getting along fine since Vecna had been defeated, better than fine! They just… hadn’t spent a lot of one-on-one time together. 
Typically, at least Robin, and some-or-all of the kids, would join them on a night like this, but the kids were set on going to the arcade, and Robin—who’d finally gotten over her fear of driving and managed to get her license on the first try—was taking Vickie out for what may or may not be a date, and borrowing Steve’s car to do it.
Therein lay the source of the problem, actually. It was usually Robin’s job to procure movie night snacks, and in her absence neither of them had thought to pick up the slack.
Which is what had led them to this moment. 
Flying down the road at 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit, minimum, in a fucking downpour, at night. They were just asking for a deer or some shit to come bounding across the road and then—BAM!
As if on cue, just as Steve had the thought, something did indeed dart out from the side of the road to cross in front of them. Fortunately, for once, Eddie was actually paying attention. He slammed on the brakes, simultaneously jerking the wheel, allowing them to narrowly miss hitting the poor wild animal. 
Unfortunately, that combination of evasive maneuvers caused them to spin out, and sent the van careening into a ditch on the side of the road. The vehicle flipped, and Steve had just enough time to think how glad he was that they’d both been wearing their seatbelts, before something from the rear came flying up to smack him hard in the back of the head. 
-
Steve came to slowly, blinking awake, wincing as the bright light of day attacked his retinas. 
Day?
But it’d been night, hadn’t it? It was dark, and it was raining, and…
The evening before came back to him in a sudden rush. The van sliding across the road, the sickening crunch of metal as it rolled, gravity doing what gravity does. He didn't remember anything after that, but it looked like somehow they’d managed to land upright in the end at least.
He rubbed at the nape of his neck, pleasantly surprised to find no lumps, bumps, or blood, nor did he feel the telltale nausea that sometimes came with a really bad blow to the head. He wondered if Eddie– 
Oh my god, Eddie!
Steve looked to the left, finding the driver's seat empty and was instantly gripped by panic. He scrambled out of the car, nearly falling on his ass in his hurry.
“Eddie?” He called out, fear churning in his gut. “Eddie?!”
He spun a circle, relief washing over him as he found the other boy only a few feet away. 
Eddie was sitting on a large tree trunk, rocking ever-so-slightly back and forth, gnawing on his fingernails as he stared at the backside of the van.
“There you are! Dude, you scared the shit out of–” Steve trailed off as he rushed to Eddie’s side to see what he was looking at, and swallowed hard. It was a pair of legs in striped stockings wearing a killer pair of red heels, sticking out from under the rear tires. The shoes glittered cheerfully in the sunlight. “Oh, fuck.”
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Eddie dropped his head into his hands. “I thought I swerved in time. I thought we missed it.”
“I thought it was a deer.” Steve mumbled.
Eddie cut him an annoyed glare. “Clearly not, Harrington.”
“Hey,” Steve said softly. He knew Eddie well enough by now to tell when he was scared—when he felt guilty, even if he was trying to act otherwise. “This isn’t your fault. It was an accident.”
“Yeah,” Eddie huffed. “Tell that to the cops! They thought I was a murderer once already. It’s only been a few months where I can actually be seen in public without someone calling me a devil worshiper, or worse. Now they’ll think they have proof that I really am a killer!”
“You know Hop will go to bat for you again, and I’m here. I can be a witness.”
“That’s not all.” 
“It somehow gets worse than us accidentally killing some lady?”
Eddie sighed, raking a hand over his face as he rose from the stump. He turned, gesturing to something behind them, but Steve was still stuck on those legs. He couldn’t look away. 
“Why the hell was someone out in shoes like that in the middle of the night anyway?” Steve mused. “It was pouring.” 
“Steve, look.”
“What if we just said I was driving? Then we– “
“Steve!” Eddie gripped his upper arms, forcibly turning him around. 
Steve’s eyes went wide. They were standing right on the edge of a little town. Little, not only in the way that the town itself was small in, like, area, though it was that—about the size of one city block—but for the fact that all the colorful little buildings and bungalows were miniature. The whole thing was surrounded by gardens laden with all sorts of beautiful plants, shrubs, and trees, with flowers of every shade in bloom.
“What the fuck,” Steve breathed, taking a few tentative steps into the vivid village.
“Yeah.”
“Eddie, what the fuck?! Where are we? And why is everything in technicolor?”
Eddie stepped up from behind to clap him on the back. 
“I don’t think we’re in Hawkins anymore, big boy.”
Steve shot him a look over his shoulder. “What was your first clue?”
“I see where Dustin gets his tone from.” Eddie mumbled.
Steve chewed on his bottom lip. “Do you… do you think it’s like the Upside Down?” 
“In the sense that it’s another dimension? Maybe, but I don't get the feeling this one has any terrifying monsters. It’s too clean. It even smells nice, like roses and shit.”
“Yeah,” Steve agreed. Eddie had a point, nothing about this place screamed danger. “The Upside Down always smelled like mold and rotting flesh.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.”
“What do we do? How do we get back?” Steve asked, not really expecting Eddie to have all the answers, but he did his best thinking out loud with company. 
“No idea.”
“Should we start walking? Maybe try and find a payphone?”
Eddie scoffed. “A payphone?”
“Do you have any better ideas?”
The other boy was quiet for a moment, a rare occurrence, but eventually threw his hands up in defeat. “No, actually. So, I guess walking it is.”
Steve turned back, intending on pilfering the van for things that might be useful, like water, weapons, or one of the many lighters that littered the floor, when something in the distance caught his eye.  
“What the hell is that?” He asked aloud, pointing up to the sky at a giant pink bubble that was headed straight for them. 
Eddie squinted up at it. “I think there's something inside.”
“Should we run?”
“Maybe we should pop it.”
“You just said there was something inside! Wouldn’t that let it out?”
Eddie shrugged.
In no time, the bubblegum colored sphere settled near them and faded away, leaving behind a woman with long dark wavy hair. She held a long scepter, and wore a tall crown and a poofy ball gown, of all things. There was also something very familiar about her face. 
“Wait.”
“No.”
“Is that?”
“It can’t be.”
“Joyce?!” They both said, in tandem.
The woman in the ballgown tilted her head. “Who’s Joyce?”
“You are.” Steve said. 
She shook her head, offering him a kind smile. “I’m afraid not. I’m Glinda, the Witch of the North, and who might you be?”
Eddie leaned in, speaking out of the corner of his mouth. “Is she serious?”
Steve snorted a laugh, quickly trying to hide it with a cough.
“What’s so funny?” Not-Joyce asked. 
“Nothing, uh, I’m Steve, and this is Eddie.”
She stepped carefully around them, pointing her sparkly stick at the half-a-dead-body that jutted out from under Eddie’s van. “What do you boys have to say for yourselves?”
“I’m sorry?” Eddie said, sobering quickly. At the same time Steve insisted, “It was an accident!”
“Stop giving them a hard time, Glinda. They did us a favor!” A strangely familiar voice called out from behind a nearby bush, and a moment later 6 small-ish figures came popping out of the surrounding foliage.
“They killed The Wicked Witch of the East!” The one with curly hair shouted, as the others cheered.
Eddie jumped. “Jesus H. Christ, where did all you little fuckers come from?!”
“Oh my god.” Steve muttered under his breath.
It was the kids, except they were actually kids. The 11-year-old versions of Dustin, Will, Lucas, Mike, Max, and El pushed and shoved their way past each other, all trying to be the first to approach.
“Who you calling little?” Baby-Lucas said.
“Okay, what the hell is going on here guys? Why are you so young, and what’s with the outfits?” Steve asked, completely dumbfounded.
Once he’d gotten over the initial shock of their appearance, Steve realized they were all wearing costumes or something. The girls wore pink frilly dresses and tall pointed bonnets, something he knew for a fact Max would never have agreed to, and the boys had these funny little shorts with long socks and matching tops—except for Dustin, who donned long pants and an even longer coat, along with a striped bow tie and a giant pocket watch hanging from his side. 
Eddie looked similarly stunned. “How did you get us here? And how did you get Joyce in on it?”
“Who’s Joyce?” Mini-Mike-Wheeler asked.
“I think they mean me.” Not-Joyce said.
Tiny Dustin’s face twisted up in confusion. “But that’s not your name.”
She shrugged. “I tried telling them that.”
Steve groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “Okay fine, she’s Glinda. Who are you?”
“Oh! I'm the mayor of Munchkinland.” A wide, gummy smile spread across tiny-Dustin’s face as he stuck his arm out, er, up, for a handshake. 
Steve stared down at him, unimpressed. “You’ve gotta be shitting me. I'm done playing whatever game this is. How do we–”
A sudden explosion went off in the middle of the town square only a few yards away, creating a thick cloud of red smoke. On instinct Steve and Eddie both moved to place themselves between the oncoming threat and the Munchkins. 
The air cleared quickly, revealing a woman in a long black dress and matching cloak, carrying a broom and wearing a hard scowl.
Steve blinked at her, then looked at Eddie for confirmation that they were seeing the same thing. 
“Mrs. Click?”
Eddie nodded.
Her complexion was all wrong but the resemblance was uncanny.
Steve leaned in, whispering, “If that’s Click, who do you think the one we hit was?” 
Eddie grinned. “O’Donnel.”
“I am the Wicked Witch of the West. You killed my sister. Prepare to die.” The newcomer declared loudly, sneering at the two of them.
Eddie rounded on her, pointing a finger right in her face. “Look lady, we’ve had just about enough–”
Steve grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back. “What my friend here means to say is, it was an accident and we’re very sorry.”
“I’ll show you an accident, young man,” The Wicked Witch said, raising her green hands and long pointy nails threateningly in their direction.
“Aren't you forgetting something?” Glinda raised her voice, as she too moved to protect the little ones.
“The ruby slippers! Yes!” The Wicked Witch smiled gleefully and made a beeline for Eddie’s van. 
When her back was to them, Glinda winked at Steve and did some kind of wavy-woo with her stick, which, in hindsight he realized was a wand, and the red shoes disappeared from the dead body’s feet right before their eyes, reappearing in Steve’s hand a second later.
“They’re gone!” The Wicked Witch gasped, whirling on the spot and narrowing her eyes at him.
“Why is it always me?” Steve grumbled, resigned to the fight, only to find Eddie taking a protective step in front of him as she approached. 
“You! Give them back. I’m the only one who knows how to use them. They’re of no use to you!”
She wasn’t wrong, but Steve felt like maybe it wasn’t the best idea to give what he suspected was a powerful magical object to a woman whose sister they’d just murdered. All those months of spectating while the party played D&D were finally paying off. 
“Put them on and stay tight inside of them, Steve.” Glinda said, her tone grave. “Their magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want them so badly.”
Nailed it.
“You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix you as well!”
The Good Witch waved her off. “You have no power here. Now be gone before someone drops a… a… a…” She stuttered, waffling as if searching for the right word.
“A van?” Eddie supplied.
“Ah, yes. Thank you, Eddie dear.” She cleared her throat, pausing for what Steve could only assume was dramatic effect. “Now, be gone before someone drops a van on you, too!”
“Very well, but I'll be watching.” The Wicked Witch hissed, zeroing in on Steve once again. “I’ll get you my pretty-boy, and your little dog too!”
“Hey! Who are you calling a dog? You looked in the mirror lately?! Witch.” Eddie spat. 
She huffed, raising her broomstick high above her head and bringing it down hard against the road at her feet, sending more red smoke billowing up from the spot to quickly engulf her form. When it was gone, so was she.
“Little dog. Pfft.” Eddie muttered.
“It’s the hair.” Little-Max said, matter-of-factly.
“Yes,” Tiny-Dustin agreed, nodding as he rubbed stubby fingers against his small chin. “The word scruffy does come to mind, to be fair.” 
“Watch it, Mayor.” Eddie warned.
“That, and the way you were guarding your friend there.” Little-Max spoke again.
Eddie glowered as she dissolved into giggles that quickly spread through the small crowd. Soon all the Munchkins, as well as Glinda, were clutching their sides with laughter.
Steve didn’t get what was so funny. 
“Don’t listen to them, Munson. I like your hair. It’s very… metal.” 
Eddie put on a show of rolling his eyes, but under it all was a shy pleased smile. “Thanks, Harrington.”
“That’s rough, boys. You’ve made quite the enemy. The sooner you get out of Oz the better I think.” Glinda said, when the laughter had finally faded. 
“And how do we do that exactly?” Eddie asked. “The van’s broken down, and even if it wasn't, I have no idea where the hell we are or how we even got here! Let alone how to get back to Hawkins.”
“The only person who might be able to help you would be The Great and Wonderful Wizard of Oz himself.”
Steve pursed his lips. “Okay, I'll bite. How do we find this Great Wizard?” It took all his strength not to put those last two words in air quotes.
“He lives in the Emerald city.” She said.
“And how do we get there?”
“Follow the yellow brick road, of course.”
Eddie shook his head. “Of course, she says.”
“Do you not have yellow brick roads where you come from?”
“No.” Steve snapped. He was already so tired of this shit, and somehow he knew that the end of, whatever this was, was nowhere in sight. 
“My, my, you two are grumpy.” Glinda muttered. Without another word she took a few steps away from them and waved her wand, conjuring a new pink bubble around herself. 
“Wait, you can’t just leave us here with these kids!” Steve shouted, but it was too late, The Good Witch had already started to float away. 
“We’re not kids, y’know.” Tiny-Dustin said.
“You look like kids.”
“Whatever.” The boy shrugged, taking one of their hands in each of his. “Come on, we’ll walk you to the edge of town.”
-
The edge of town turned out to be roughly 10 feet away from where the van had landed, which wasn’t a surprise given the compact nature of Munchkinland as a whole, but it did have Steve wondering why they even bothered. 
At least the kids—sorry, the Munchkins, had been helpful enough to point out the yellow brick road. 
As if they could have missed it.
Eddie let out a long whistle. “Wow, that is YELL-ow. Like, I know they said it, but I guess I expected it to be dull or dirty or something, not this bright sunshine color. Kinda reminds me of that sweater you used to wear.”
Steve tucked the pair of heels awkwardly under his arm and started down the path, wishing he had a bag or something to put them in. Holding onto them like this was going to get annoying fast. 
“Aren't you going to put those on first?” Eddie asked.
“Are you serious, Munson?” Steve slowed his pace, turning to gape at him.
Eddie grinned, bumping their elbows together when he caught up. “What, afraid you can’t walk in ‘em?”
“I wear a size 13 men’s shoe, they’re never gonna fit me!”
For a fraction of a second Eddie’s eyes went as wide as saucers. “Jesus, guess I was onto something with that nickname, big boy.”
Steve rolled his eyes, shoving the shoes in Eddie’s direction. “Why don’t you put them on?”
“No, that Glinda lady gave them to you, expressly.”
“I'm telling you they’re not gonna fit.”
“Magic shoes, Steve.” Eddie wiggled his fingers for emphasis. “Magic shoes! Just try, I'm sure it’ll be fine.”
Steve glared as he toed his sneakers off, tying the laces together before throwing them over Eddie’s shoulder, and finally slipped his feet into the sequin adorned pumps. 
They fit like a glove.
He twisted at the waist, glancing behind his own back, sticking first one leg out, and then the other, as he looked down at himself. “Hmm, they do make my ass look nice, I guess.” 
He also just so happened to be wearing his date night jeans, the ones that hugged him in all the right places, and with the addition of the shoes? It was a good look, if he did say so himself. 
A high pitched noise escaped Eddie’s throat. “As if you needed any more help in that department.” He mumbled under his breath.
Steve swallowed hard. “What’d you say?”
“Nothing.”
Eddie was always doing that—flirting, making little comments and then pretending he hadn’t. It drove Steve crazy, never sure if Eddie actually meant it, or if he just liked to tease—not quite sure which answer he hoped was the truth.
Steve turned on his heel, literally, and strode away, tired of wasting time. His first few steps were a bit wobbly, a little like a newborn calf learning to walk, but he got the hang of it pretty quickly. He wasn’t, like, swaying his hips side-to-side confident or anything—yet—but he was reasonably sure he wasn’t going to randomly fall over. It was good enough for now. 
“What are we looking for again?” He asked without turning around. 
“The Emerald city.” Eddie replied, falling into step beside him again, cheeks a little pink. “The little guy who looked like Will said we’d know it when we saw it.”
“Nicely vague, figures.” 
“I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They seem to take everything very literally around here, so my guess is if we see a place with a lot of big bright green buildings, that’ll be the one.”
Ch 2: Yellow Brick Road
Ch 3 (coming 4/27)
Ch 4 ( coming 4/28)
Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the next chapter(s)!
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chaoswarfare · 1 year
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dp x dc prompt #54
When Danny was first given the opportunity to make a public persona when he came to live in Gotham, he was a little bit concerned. How was he supposed to come up with an entire elaborate character to act as all the time. Then he remembered the time that Vlad called him a rabid badger when he got especially angry and a genius idea came into existence.
When the press gathered around to interview and write about the newest Wayne adoption, they thought they had seen it all already. The last new child had tried to skewer one of the unsuspecting interns after all. When the teenager didn’t even get all the way out of the car before punching someone standing too close and snarling at him, several considered filing their resignation letters on the spot. The pay wasn’t worth this.
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wonder-worker · 5 months
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What are your favorite Plantagenet-related novels, and why do you love them?
Hi! I'm so sorry, I don't read lots of medieval English historical fiction, and the ones I have read are pretty terrible (three guesses which).
Once again: sorry! If anyone else has any recommendations, feel free to share them!
#ask#I've heard that Sharon Kay Penman's Plantagenet trilogy is pretty good? I haven't read it though so I can't say#'The Sunne in Splendour' (Penman's WotR book) was absolutely terrible though#It has all the hallmarks of a classic Ricardian novel. It IS one of the classic Ricardian novels I think?#Richard is an entirely innocent selfless righteous man with a glorious and divinely-blessed reign who's the victim in every situation#Isabel Neville was treated awfully. Margaret of Anjou was treated awfully#Elizabeth Woodville was somehow treated worse than both of them combined and was ridiculously sexualized on top of it#Penman's tagline for her should've honestly been 'You thought THIS character was bad? Never fear - Elizabeth Woodville is 10x worse!'#The book goes out of its way to emphasize how she was the worst thing to ever happen to England; how the Woodvilles made the 1450s look#like 'petty squabbling'; how Elizabeth made Margaret of Anjou look like a 'veritable saint by comparison'#also I distinctly remember her own husband yelling at her that she would sleep with a leper if it meant her becoming queen#This line just about sums it up: 'Warwick doubted there had ever been a Queen as little liked as the woman Edward had taken as his wife'#I'm like 99% sure that Cersei Lannister was primarily based off Penman's Elizabeth. The similarities are uncanny#Though Cersei is nonetheless treated better and given infinitely more depth than Elizabeth was - that's how badly she was depicted#I want to call her a Disney villain on steroids but frankly that would be inaccurate because even they are given more respect#I was always interested in Elizabeth but this book was one of the main reasons I became so defensive of her#What else...?#Penman's characterizations of Thomas Gray and Edward of Lancaster were pretty on par with classic Ricardian novels so I wasn't surprised#(though I will say that despite Edward of Lancaster being treated terribly he was still afforded more depth and sympathy than Thomas was)#What did surprise me was the fact that she wrote ANTHONY WOODVILLE as a violent scheming thug. Yes really#Honestly anyone remotely related to the Woodvilles is portrayed as cartonnishly evil#And EDWARD V oh god. This 12-year old kid is depicted as a cold cruel capricious tyrant who's more Woodville than royal (classism anyone?)#I'm 99% sure Joffrey Baratheon was based off Penman's portrayal of him. His dynamic with Elizabeth certainly matches Cersei's with Joffrey'#... anyway this rant has nothing to do with anon's question#sorry
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radiance1 · 6 months
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Danny hates John Constantine.
Well, he doesn't him, but he does hate whenever Constantine needs him.
Each and every summon was just... not ideal, for him at least.
He was summoned while he was about to go sleep.
Summoned when he was asleep.
Summoned when he was going to the bathroom.
Summoned when he was using the bathroom.
Summoned while he was getting ready to take a bath.
Summoned when he was in a bath.
Summoned while in the middle of undressing/redressing.
Summoned while getting attacked by living food.
Summoned when he was about to fall flat on his face.
You know, very embarrassing things.
The most recent time he was summoned was the most embarrassing he's ever been seen though.
He was currently hiding in one of his 'safehouses' from a run in with both his parents and the GIW, now normally, that wouldn't be a problem. Because both his healing factor, durability, and wit would usually get him off home free.
Not this time.
The GIW apparently had some new technology that, while experimental, was made specifically against ghost, and while that's basically most of their tech this one was... different.
Safe to say, he got hit more than one, and then for the first time since, well, forever he's had to run for his life. He managed to get away from them, trying to hold his wounds together with his hands and into an alleyway, that he planned to phase through to get to the nearest 'safe house' (that was really just an abandoned building with some medical supplies that he never needed to use) when his father found him.
He got shot, again, and fell to the floor. He looked at his father with an expression he doesn't even know, but he knew he was scared.
Whatever Jack Fenton saw that stalled him from shooting, and instead a pained look on his face, Danny would probably never know. But he took that time to phase through the wall and book it to the safe house.
Safe to say, he uh, wasn't having the greatest time.
He tried sewing up his wounds, and that wasn't the greatest thing, because his hands were shaky both from pain and feeling like he would faint, using alcohol was even worse, really. The black spots trying to cover his eyes made it harder to see where exactly he was sewing, but he would take that over nothing.
Plus, also, how he didn't know how to sew.
He managed to bandage up most of the major wounds, though it was sloppy as shit. He was just getting to the last one, which was a pretty massive one over his chest that he poured alcohol on.
His shaky hands made him spill far more than he intended, and he had to bite down on something to stop him from screaming. Maybe he shouldn't have done that.
His hands were shaking, but he just had to apply this last bandage, sloppy as it would be, and then he could somehow try and find his way home and then go out like a light.
Which made it unfortunate, that Constantine decided this would be the best time to summon him.
He hates being the ghost prince sometimes, this is one of those times.
He expected only Constantine, so imagine his surprise when he was standing (Oh shit he think he'll either puke, fall down, or both.) in front of way more than just Constantine.
He thinks Constantine said they were the Justice League or something? He doesn't really remember, both with the pain and taking in details from another dimension wasn't really his thing.
The room was extremely quite, so, so very quiet. Said quiet made Danny feel extremely uncomfortable, and fidgety under all of their combined gazes.
So he cracked a joke.
Not his best one, he would admit, but it was funny at least!
So why was he the only one laughing?
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cosmal · 1 year
Note
waitttt aerial writing poly!marauders?? omg. how about them looking after sick or injured reader I feel like that could be so cute!!!! they’re all worrywart bfs tbh
emergency contact
summary james gets called when you faint at work. and then sirius. then remus. you feel awful
content poly!marauders x fem!reader
note this was combined with another request. I accidentally deleted it I'm super sorry but it was a request for poly x fem!reader where the boys come to your work after fainting!
You feel really embarrassed sitting at the end of the bar, ice pack held to your head, mouth wrapped around the straw in your drink.
Your embarrassment turns to worry when you see James walking across the room. He’s rushing, hair a mess, mud tracked up his calves. He’s still in his rugby kit.
You turn your head to look at your colleague. “Ash, you told me you wouldn’t call anyone!” You’re not really upset, you feel like a bit of a nuisance.
“It’s procedure, Y/N. I’m sorry.” She doesn’t sound very sorry. You don’t blame her.
“Sweetheart,” he says when he reaches you. He’s frantic, soft about it, but still upset. “Are you okay? They told me you fainted.”
“I’m really sorry,” you say instead of a hello. You feel entirely stupid.
“What?” He grasps your shoulder and squeezes hard. “What are you sorry for, honey?”
“I feel bad,” you say quietly, voice a little thick. You screw your face up and your head tinges. A dull pain that radiates down into the back of your skull.
“Please, don’t.” He says. Firm with a hint of worry he’s trying to mask. If James cries you think you might too, and you really wouldn’t put it past him.
You drop the pack to the bar and take his hand, fingers damp with condensation that transfers to his palm. “I’m fine. Promise.”
“You bumped your head?” He uses his free hand to hold your face, careful where he has his fingers. His eyes track over your face to search for any harm. You’re blood-free, luckily, though there’s a red mark blooming up and into your hairline. Most likely to bruise.
“Yeah.” Your eyes flutter closed because you can’t help it.
“You’re not feeling drowsy?” comes James’s voice.
“No, feels nice,” you chuckle, a tiny huff of air. “Your hands are warm.”
You don’t expect it, but suddenly, you’re hearing Sirius’s worried voice come from the other side of the room. You crane your head around James' broad shoulders to see him, haloed by the light coming through the front door.
“Why is he here?” you mumble, feeling worse by the second. It comes out worse than it sounded in your head.
Apparently, he hears you. “He is here because James had to call him.” He hugs you almost immediately. Big, warm hands come around to cage you in against his chest. You hide the good side of your face into his neck and huff. “Do you not want me here?”
You pull back quickly and really regret it. Blinking back the hot, pinching pain in your face. “What? No, I’m just…ugh.”
Sirius pouts, then hums a sympathetic noise from the back of his throat. He keeps his hands on your shoulders. “It’s okay, honey. Don’t worry about it, yeah?”
You close your eyes and incline your head to lean it down on his ringed-up hand. Your cheek all smooshed up against him.
“Is she okay?” You hear him ask James. He hums a yes. “She’s not concussed?”
“She doesn’t think so,” he says.
“She is right here,” you mumble. You pull back from his chest and swing your legs over the chair.
"I'm sorry, lovely." He looks like he wants to hug you again. "You're okay? Had some water?"
You nod. "Just really wanna go home."
"All right, let's go, yeah?" James takes your elbow to help you off the stool, and Sirius steadies you by the shoulder. It's kind of adorable how gentle they're being with you. Soft hands and pinched brows. They both make a funny sound when you wobble a little.
James grabs your bag and throws it over his shoulder and you all leave.
"I'm sorry, Sirius," you say before you get to the door. "Were you at work? You won't get in trouble for leaving, will you?"
"No, it's okay. Don't worry about that." He smiles.
You will. You'll no doubt feel bad for the rest of the week.
You bump into Remus on your way out. He holds the door open for you. He looks like he's run up the block. "Rem, baby, they didn't call you too?" You're not sure why you hadn't expected it. If he wasn't here, he'd definitely feel horrible.
"Dove, you're okay?" he pants. He holds your face in his hands and you try not to cry. You're not sure if having them all here makes you feel better or worse. "God, I was so worried."
The first tear leaves a hot track down your cheek. You push yourself into Remus's chest instead of answering and wrap your hands around his waist. He crosses his arms over your back.
He moves you out of the way of the entrance and you scuffle along with him. Your tears are slow, dampening his shirt, catching the brunt of your upset. You don't make any horrible sounds, just quiet, sticky tears.
He encourages your face back with a firm, pinching hand. You blink back the end of your cries. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare everyone."
"Don't worry," he says, corners of his mouth trembling into a sad smile. "It's all good. As long as you're okay."
"I just," you take a stuttering breath, "just got really tired. I probably shouldn't have worked today."
Sirius kisses the end of your eyebrow, right across your temple. "You've been working a bit too much, I think."
"I didn't ruin anyone's day?" You sniffle way too sadly for anyone's opinion. Remus squeezes you closer with almost bruising fingertips.
"No, lovely," James says, sticky smile gracing his lips. "Don't worry about it, okay? We just wanted to be here for you. That's our job."
"Right," you say, voice catching at the end.
Sirius shucks your jacket on for you as the wind outside picks up. "Speaking of being here for you," he says. "Is James your emergency contact?"
"No, you all are," you tell him, a hint of laughter in your words.
"Right."
Then, you start actually laughing. "Was he the only one to pick up?"
"I think so," he joins in.
"What if it was serious?" Suddenly, you're teasing.
"It was serious!" Remus balks.
"You didn't answer the phone!"
Everyone goes quiet. You burst out into the biggest fit of giggles, smiling so widely it hurts. "I'm kidding!" you say, struggling to speak. "God, stop. Look at your faces! Stop - stop it, my head hurts."
James cages you in against his chest, stealing you from Remus. "My poor baby," he coos. "Oh, they're awful, awful boyfriends."
"Fuck off," Sirius grumbles. "Just cause you're always on your phone."
"Don't listen to them, honey." He's awful. "You comin' in my car?"
"If you stop being mean, then yeah."
"Yeah, you fuckin' tell him, Y/N." Comes Remus's grumpy voice.
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astolfofo · 27 days
Note
…I had a thought about the halovians(specifically sunday) and want to know peoples opinions. do u think he has nesting instincts? :3 thank u for listening to my ted talk.
hi (i did say i was gonna answer this 2 weeks ago unfortunately I forgot i'm so sorry.) But anyways, thank you for your ask, and 100% he does.
tw: non-con, forced pregnancy, dark content. truly the unedited sleep deprived trying to write.
Okay i finished writing this i know you didn't ask for acutal writing but i went ahead and did it anyways because why not hope u don't mind
also excuse the fact that thus was posted at 4am and I was half falling asleep already while writing this.
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There were three days in your life that you could have called the worst.
The first one was the day when Sunday took your life away from you, and claimed you to be his "wife". The second was when first time he chose to be intimate. The third was when you got pregnant as a result.
Nothing had ever stuck to you like the day after that. You felt like washing the sheets until your hands would bleed. You wanted to submerge yourself in bleach until every fiber of your body burned, shriveled up, and died.
You wanted to forget that it happened. That the events in the previous night ever happened at all.
But the soreness between your legs was a constant reminder. And even though the pain went away after a few days, it was replaced by something much worse. Something you feared.
You saw the signs from the second you got them. Your body felt heavy. You were constantly tired. You had lost interest in eating. It was obvious what was going on.
And for a few days, you tried to hide it. The longer Sunday didn't know, the better it was for you. That way, you could slowly while away your last few moments in peace before everything was taken from you in entirety.
After a few weeks, you couldn't hide it anymore. You remember staring at the double line on the pregnancy test.
You almost instantly broke down into tears. It wasn't anything that you hadn't already know n, but maybe part of you still just believed you were ill, that maybe there was another reason why you had missed your period that month. That the pain you kept experiencing was just from some kind of illness.
The last thing you could keep away from Sunday was taken away from you that day. The sense of freedom you could've had.
To Sunday, you suppose this was the final step he needed to take to bind you to him. Another way to control you. Another way to keep you in his arms, and make sure you wouldn't let go.
And if you didn't want to get murdered by the press, if you didn't want to further sabotage both your own and Sunday's public image, you knew to take it.
You had no choice but to take it. You were no more than an insect trapped under his thumb.
-
out of the two of you, there was only one person that was particularly enthusiastic about having a child.
It certainly wasn't you.
Ever since you had first found out about the pregnancy, you had felt empty. As if someone directly sucked the soul out of your body.
You weren't yourself anymore. You hadn't been for a long time.
Sunday didn't seem too bothered by it though.
You weren't sure if it was just his own parental instincts, or whether he could tell that it was almost time for you go into labour. Maybe it was a combination of both. You didn't care. You couldn't care less.
All you knew was that his presence was suffocating. Overbearing. Invasive, even.
You couldn't do anything by yourself. Sunday felt the need to assist you with everything you did. Even basic tasks such as grabbing an object, he insisted that he would get for you.
But what set you off the most, was his intense urge to keep the house in order. You had never seen him having such intense urges to organize a room even when just the slightest thing was out of order. He couldn't stand seeing the slightest speck of dust, he couldn't stand seeing the furniture just an inch out of place.
It drove you to madness.
If you had even slightly misplaced something Sunday you would notice Sunday getting slightly agitated.
From the moment he came home, to the moment he would fall asleep, he spent every waking second making sure the house was perfectly in order, before obsessing over you. At some point you just wanted to wave him off. Lock yourself in the bathroom and sleep for a long period of time, until you had no concept of reality anymore.
You didn't have it in you to keep going. week after week, month after month, Sunday's final goal had always to perfect you into an obedient wife that would do as they were told. And no matter how you tried to fight it... you were always forced back into obedience.
There's two cold fingers touching your chin, and lifting your face up, until you're forced to meet a pair of eyes.
They're bright. Everytime you see them, you can't help but try to look away. They were as bright as the sun, and just like the sun, you felt as if you were going to be blinded jfyou looked at them for too long. You guess it could've also been a sentiment to the power he held over you too.
"Dear, did you hear a word I just said?"
It's an obvious answer. But, you know better by now just to answer the question. You slightly shake your head, which supposedly satisfied him enough, to let go of the fi gers holding your head up.
He sighs, you're not sure in annoyance or in disappointment.
"If you keep acting like this, I'm going to need to resort to drastic measures..."
You look at him one more time. You remember how when you first saw him, you thought of him to be beautiful. To be almost ethereal.
You regret falling into that hypnosis. You regret looking at him at all.
Look at where it got you.
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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months
Note
Hello! I just found your blog a couple days ago and I love your stuff!! I like that you mark everything as either being romantic or platonic (as an aromantic, I would like to say you are a saint for doing that) , and all the little pictures and memes bring me immense joy
I was wondering if you could do a platonic alastor x reader where reader makes/made a deal with Alastor. Like full on, sold-their-soul-to-him, no-takesies-backsies kind of a deal.
And like, maybe Alastor doesn't care about them that much at first, but they slowly grow on him? And reader doesn't like alastor that much either, but they have the same dark, chaotic energy and they just sorta click eventually. (and maybe some Rosie in there too??)
Omg you're so sweet for this 😭 Some of the platonic ones are my FAVE! Plus, I get that not everyone is looking for romance 🤧
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
Plus a little Rosie X Reader
❌️Romantic
✅️Platonic
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TW: Cartoonish antics, little bit of violence, Alastor being Alastor, Reader lost their soul
Description: ☝️⬆️
You didn't think Alastor was serious when he said he wanted your soul, who tf does that??
Alastor, that's who, you dummy
To be fair, you totally thought you were going to win but imagine your shock when chains suddenly appeared on you like a leash
Bullshit bullshit bullshit
He has you working at the hotel with Husk and Niffty but you go out of your way to mess things up for him
If you're gonna be his pet then you're going to be a nightmare pet
Maybe he'll decide you're not worth the trouble and give your soul up?? That's a thing that happens right?
So you do little things to fuck with Alastor, big enough to annoy him but subtle enough to be an accident
He wants you to make him tea? Oops!! You've poured salt instead of sugar and now he's choking down salty tea because he's too proud to admit you pulled one over on him
Not him giving you a death glare from over his cup
"How is it~?"
"Delightful."
He wants you to wash the dishes? Fine but you're going to drop and break his favorite mug and every replacement he gets
You're so clumsy
You have to carry his bags?? Fine then-
No, you know what? Niffty can carry the bags she's much more strong and sturdy than she looks
You're no fun
The point is, if Alastor is going to make your life miserable because he owns your soul, you're going to give it right back
You don't even make the punishments fun for him
He doesn't stop seeing you as his worst deal until your both suddenly faced against the same foe
Some idiot Vox hired to pick a fight with Alastor and for some reason Alastor picked you to handle it
Watching you play with your prey reminded Alastor of himself, giving him a few good chuckles
By the time you were done, your opponent had practically pissed themselves to death, terrified by your maniacal nature
After the fight while you're being patched up, you and Alastor share a few laughs as you retell what happened
And then you two laugh about Vox
And then you two laugh about how your opponent died
Nobody else is laughing you sick fucks
There's a change in your dynamic after that day, the two of you becoming partners in crime
Those pranks and punishments you two used to use on each other? Now you're combining forces to use them on everyone else
Everyone thought things would be better once you two put aside your differences
But this is so much worse
They find excuses to just send you two out of the hotel so they can have some peace and quiet
You just feed off each other's worst energies and keep making each other worse
The only mitigating force for you two is Rosie, she's the only one who can get you two to slow it down
"Alright! Hold it!"
Not the two of you being scolded by her, looking like two little kicked puppies because Rosie won't let you two blow up a shop
But the owner is so sleazy!!!
No, you two can't pretend to be repairmen so you can break into people's homes and destroy their tvs
She won't even let you write fake fan mail to Vox, slowly gaining his trust as his number one fan only to shatter his heart in some devastating and public way
Wtf is wrong with you two
She just knows how best to handle the two of you and doesn't really mind how twisted the two of you get to be
She finds it adorable
You are besties by that point, an unstoppable force that wreaks havoc on anything in your path
Oh and sweet Rosie is there too
Holding the leashes for you two
You almost forget he owns your soul and so does he most days, the two of you seeing each other more and more as equals
Or at the very least, friends 🧡
Maybe you've earned your soul back
Nah, keep it
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This was so fun! I really hope you liked it!
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bella-goths-wife · 1 month
Note
So if Alastor made a deal with Vs pet before going missing for 7 years how would she be at the hotel?
What would have happened if alastor made a deal with Vs pet before leaving
Warnings: obsession, bad foreshadowing, violence?
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In all honestly, if alastor had ran into you again before disappearing he would have made a deal with you
You intrigued him in a way that he hadn’t felt in years, the familiarity he felt towards you almost made him nostalgic
But let’s say he did offer you a deal on the day you met
It would be something similar to your deal with vox, your soul in exchange for food, water, shelter and protection
He’d give you a small cottage away from the city and close to the cannibal colonies, somewhere where you could live without the worry of being hurt or killed
Your fridge would always be stocked with food every week and you had all the things you could need in the cottage with you
Now you expected there to be a huge workload after you found out what a prominent demon alastor was, but all you had to really do was be his assistant and help him with his broadcasts
You were his assistant for a few weeks before he disappeared and suddenly you were alone again
You were still taken care of in the essential ways, your always had food and water in your little cottage and Rosie checked up on the cottage once a week to make sure you were still alive and safe
But you were lonely, so you started to help out Rosie in the cannibal colony every now and again
And you continued like that for seven years, until alastor finally returned
Rosie had let you know about his return and warned you that he would call on you soon and not to ask him to many questions
It was whiplash for you, one minute you were making some tea in the kitchen and the next you were standing in the hotel lobby with a look of shock
Alastor introduced you to everyone and informed you that you’d be staying at the hotel with him to help Charlie with her vision
You were mainly there to help alastor and be his entertainment, but you did help nifty with chores and even cooked meals for everyone
Charlie was ecstatic to have a younger soul with them and claimed that you’d be perfect for redemption
Her girlfriend, vaggie, on the other hand was extremely cautious around you since you were associated with alastor
Husk knew of you from whispers from some of the other souls alastor owned
At first he pitied you since he knew what it was like to be leashed by alastor, and then he saw how much alastor favoured you and treated you much nicer than he treated any of his other souls
Husk couldn’t help but feel bitter of the fact that he was in a much worse situation than you, but he eventually grew to like you since he understood you were practically a kid compared to him and he wouldn’t wish his fate on anyone
You and angel wouldn’t be as close as you were if you were the Vs pet, but you’d both still be friends
Alastor wouldn’t be fond of sharing you with the rest of the hotel since you were there to be his entertainment, but when he made comments about it and gave you an unnecessary workload he got a very harsh scolding from Rosie
I believe that alastor would become like a mentor to you, almost fatherly but not too much
It’s canon that alastor would be a terrible father but a great mentor so I could see him teaching you how to use your power to its full extent and he’d like combining your powers together
I like to imagine that when you and alastor combine your abilities then it would start off as a 1920s jazz music sound and would contain techno beats when you join in
Your relationship with alastor would be almost parallel to yours and vox if you were the Vs pet
It would be less cruel and you’d be much happier, but there would still be a hint of obsession in the relationship
Alastor would definitely be somewhat possessive of you in a certain way, the same way a male deer is protective of its children
He’d like getting to know you and finding out what the connection was between you to
The Vs would absolutely despise you since you were associated with alastor and the first time they met you was through one of Vox and alastors fights
So overall I think you’d be much happier and safer with alastor but that doesn’t exclude you from still feeling like a pet
But at least with this path, you’d have a chance at redemption for you
That’s if alastor didn’t drag you back from the pearly gates by a leash
———————————————————————
“And this little dear is my darling assistant” is the first thing you hear as your pulled from the shadows, you could recognise that voice anywhere.
One minute you were stood in your lovely kitchen and now your stood trying to take in what seems to be a hotel.
You try and hide your surprise as you turn to find your owners crazed grin staring down at you.
“What am I doing here alastor?” You question with a confused tone. You know you shouldn’t question him, Rosie had warned you against it, but you couldn’t help your curiosity “where have you been?”
Alastors eye twitches in what seems to be irritation as he stares down at you, you could see a cat demon behind alastor wince in what looked like fear before alastor wrapped his arm around your shoulder.
“Nevermind that, my little doe” alastor says with an over exaggerated laugh “I’ve brought you here because Charlie here has an idea to redeem demons, truly laughable I know but I’ve taken it upon myself to help her achieve this pipe dream”
Alastor laughed with radio static as a background before turning you to look at him once again.
“And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it without my dearest little fawn” alastor said with a grin as his claws pinched your cheek in what could be seen as threatening or playful, you gave up guessing a long time ago “so from now on you’ll be staying here and helping me with this hotel, okay dear?”
You simply nodded at his question, knowing you had no grounds to refuse your owner. You had to play the loyal pet once again.
“Perfect” alastor said with pep in his tone as he let go of you and face you in the direction of the bar “now run along and get to know the others while I talk with Charlie about your rooming arrangements, I’ll call you back when I need you”
You nodded as you begin walking to the bar and you take a seat next to an extremely tall spider man who eyes you with curiosity. You’re in front of the cat demon from earlier who also regards you with intrigue.
“Hi” you say almost shyly as your ears remain pinned against your head, you hadn’t talked to someone other than Rosie or alastor since you made your deal and this entire experience was outside your comfort zone.
“Heya toots” the spider demon spoke unsurely as he looked down at you “where’s smiles been keepin’ you then?”
“Hm?” You make a questioning sound as your head tilts in a confused manner
“He means he’s not seen you around, no one has” the cat demon clarifies with a gruff tone “it’s weird for alastor not to cash in on a favour from his souls, angel here wants to know where alastors been keepin’ you”
“Oh” you say with a confused look “I don’t think he’s kept me hidden exactly”
“Well I only heard about you through whispers, but I assumed it was just rumours” husk responds gruffly “no one knew alastor had an assistant until a few days ago when he mentioned bringing you here”
“Didn’t think smiles had it in him” the spider, angel, comments before looking you up and down “your a bit young for him though, don’t ya think husk”
Husk nods cautiously as he takes in your appearance, you couldn’t have been been more than eighteen.
“It’s not like that” you assure with a mildly disturbed face at the thought of the insinuation
“Than what are you to smiles toots?” Angel asked curiously “because he certainly seemed fond of you”
You think for a moment on how to explain your connection with alastor before speaking cautiously
“Well, I’m his-“ you were about to answer but alastors call interrupted you.
“My dear” alastor called for you “don’t you think it’s time you and I set up for a broadcast”
You nod as you abandon the two demons to walk beside alastor on his way to his radio station, like a loyal mutt being called back into the house.
“I think it’s time I show that pesky TV that radio still lives” alastor comments as he puts his hand on your shoulder and guides you “and with my perfect little assistant, I’m sure my broadcast will be as great as ever”
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635 notes · View notes
hp-hcs · 2 months
Note
Reader (male preferably) x T.N and M.R
Where reader gets into fights a lot. Like a lot. Almost double the amount that Theo and Matt get in combined in just a week. The only reason Dumbledore lets him stay at Hogwarts is because he’s top of every class. What bugs a lot of his peers is the fact that he doesn’t try. He doesn’t study, he just gets it straight up, he barely shows up to class, he fights everyone and anything that speaks bad about the slytherin house, and he’s got the face every guys jealous of. Reader is just made to make people mad, is how he’d be described. But he’s not aggressive. He doesn’t lose his temper easy, it’s just when his house or Theo and Matt are mentioned that he loses it. It’s like a trigger going off in his brain, to protect what’s his. And Merlin does that turn them on.
NSFW (optional)
Reader loves to mark them as his. To have everyone be able to see the dark hickeys or slowly healing bite marks. To display a type of claim over the two. They’re his. And he knows exactly how to make them feel good. Make them writhe for him. Degrading Mattheo while edging Theodore, wrapping his bloodied hands around their throats while he pushes them up against the wall. Fuck and when he’s all beaten up after a fight? They can’t fucking resist him.
• smut • bloody knuckles — poly! sub! sweetie pie! theodore nott x poly! sub! brat! mattheo riddle x gn! poly! dom! reader
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❕no pronouns or gender/assigned sex markers of any kind!❕
warnings: SMUT MDNI, BLOOD KINK JFC IS THERE A GODDAMN BLOOD KINK IN HERE, same with degradation holy fuck, pain(?) kink, violence, mild descriptions of gore/wounds, usage of the word ‘blood’ or ‘bloody’ approximately 12000000 times, THE BOYS ARE ROMANTICALLY & SEXUALLY INVOLVED WITH EACH OTHER, some pretty aggressive dom/sub roles for ya silly little deviants
i don’t know why i gave the boys pure opposite personalities. the dichotomy of man, i guess.
this is quite easily the filthiest fucking thing i’ve ever written, and i was too embarrassed to let my allosexual boyfie edit/help with this one so it’s real bad 😬 enjoy your asexual-written smut? ig? i did my best, anon, i’m so sorry
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Seamus Finnegan was not expecting to start off his Monday morning with a broken nose.
To be fair though, it was kind of his fault. I mean, six years of school together and the boy still decided to run his mouth without a single care in the world.
“Heard Riddle’s a slut. That true?”
Your head snapped up and a furious look crossed your face. “What?”
“Hot though,” Seamus shrugged. “‘s why y’keep ‘im ‘round, yeah?”
Your hands clenched into fists down by your sides.
“He a good fuck, at least?” Seamus asked carelessly, seemingly unaware of your brewing anger. “I bet ‘e is. Think ‘e’d put out?”
Before anyone could even blink, you had Finnegan down on the ground. His face quickly became the victim of your furious fists.
He tried to shove you off, but you just smacked his hands away and got a solid hit to the center of his face, punctuated by the sound of snapping cartilage.
Blood rushed in your ears and the crowds fell away as you focused solely on Make him pay. Make him pay. Make him pay.
You were abruptly brought out of your bloodthirsty rage by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around your torso and yanking you off of Seamus.
You spun around in anger, the question of who the fuck-? dying on your lips when you saw the concerned face of Theodore Nott, and the bright red face of Mattheo Riddle.
~~~
“Darling-”
“Shut up, it’s my love language,” you pouted.
Theo rolled his eyes fondly, leading you by your shoulders into their dorm’s bathroom. “You know we can handle ourselves, love. You’ve met both of our fathers; we’ve had much worse than some Irish pipsqueak theorizing about our sex lives.”
“Well, I thought it was hot.” Mattheo interrupted with a cheeky grin. “Our badass lover who’s willing to throw down with a Gryffindor to protect our honor? Proof that chivalry isn’t dead.”
“Well, I just don’t want other people talking about you like that,” you scowled.
“We know, love,” Theo grinned, crouching down to dig the first aid kit out from under the sink, patting your thigh in a patronizingly reassuring gesture. “Now, lemme see how bad it is.”
You huffed in faux annoyance, holding out your bloody hands in front of you and lifting your chin so he could see the state of your face.
Theo sighed and began his millionth lecture of the day as he started dabbing antiseptic ointment on the few small scrapes scattered across your face.
Mattheo was unusually quiet, adding nothing to the playful bickering between you and Theo.
You glanced over at him, only to find that he was practically enraptured, staring at your hands. His eyes followed a single bead of blood’s meandering path down your knuckles and fingers, watching as it dripped off the tip of your index finger and splattered onto the tile floor.
You could’ve sworn you saw him lick his lips.
You traded a knowing look with Theo before speaking. “Whatcha looking at, Matty?”
His cheeks flushed red and his gaze snapped back up to your eyes. “Nothing!”
You took a step forward. He took a step back.
“Oh, really?”
He gulped.
You reached forward to rest a hand on his shoulder, gently pressing him up against the wall. “A blood kink, huh? Shit, you really are a slut, love.”
Mattheo looked down, cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
You gripped his chin and forced his head up to look at you. His eyes widened in surprise at the firmness of your grasp.
You pressed two blood-streaked fingers against his lips, groaning at the sight of his tongue instinctively darting out to kitten-lick them.
“Shit, Matty,” Theo whispered from behind you.
You trailed your fingers down his jaw and the side of his neck before loosely wrapping your hand around his throat.
He gasped and his eyes rolled back in his head. “Y-Y/n-”
“You like this? Hm?” You crooned as the blood on your hand smeared onto the skin of his neck.
Mattheo nodded frantically—as much as he could with the limited range of motion.
“That’s fucking disgusting, Riddle. What a filthy fucking boy.”
(He whimpered. He fucking loved it when you called him by his last name.)
You let go of his neck, stepping back and leaving him with a pleading whine caught in his throat as you turned to your other boyfriend.
“And Theodore, my pretty little angel,” you cooed softly, running your fingers through his hair and cupping his cheek. “How’s my little lovebug doing?”
He watched you with wide eyes, his tongue darting out to lick his chapped lips. “Y-Y/n…”
You ran your thumb over his cheekbone, smiling softly. “Answer my question, pretty boy.”
“I-I’m doing good, love,” Theo whispered, his voice cracking as you trailed your thumb down the side of his neck and swept it across his collarbone.
You abruptly pulled your hand away, spinning on your heel and leaving the en-suite without another word.
Your boys followed you into the dorm room like lost puppies, trailing after you with confused and needy expressions.
You sat down on one of the beds, lying back against the pillows with a relaxed and unbothered expression on your face. “Teddy, over here. Matty, go sit in the chair.” You waved your hand towards the desk chair, lazily motioning for Theodore to take off his shirt and join you on the bed.
Mattheo pouted and whined. “What? But- darlin’, I’ve been-”
“A greedy bitch,” you scoff as you yanked off Theo’s trousers and boxers in one swift motion, rolling him over onto his back. “Now sit down and wait your damn turn. Don’t you dare touch yourself. You’d better keep your hands where I can fucking see them.”
Without waiting for a reply, you turned back to your other lover. You ignored Mattheo’s protesting whines in favor of wrapping your fingers around Theo’s dick, appreciating the way Theo’s hips jerked up with a startled moan and his hands scrabbled for anything to hold onto as you did so.
“Riddle. I changed my mind. Get the fuck over here.” You snap, narrowing your eyes at the boy wiggling uncomfortably in his seat. “Hold Teddy’s hand.”
He jumped into action, quickly clambering onto the bed next to the pair of you and scooping up one of Theo’s hands in his.
You nodded, pleased at his cooperation, and slowly started jerking Theo off.
“Pretty, isn’t he, Matty?”
You expected him to say something in agreement, or tease Theo lightly, but your question was met with silence.
You glanced over, curious as to what caught his attention. Mattheo’s eyes were laser focused on Theo’s lower half. You followed his line of sight, confused as to what he was looking at, when you realized.
The blood from your busted knuckles had smeared itself all over Theo’s cock.
“Suck Teddy off.” The demand left your lips before you could even fully think it through.
Neither boy seemed disinterested in your proposition, if the way Mattheo all but scrambled down the bed as he leapt onto your boyfriend was any indication.
Mattheo kneeled between Theo’s thighs and pinned down his hips, practically drooling at the perverse sight in front of him.
Theo moaned brokenly as he felt Mattheo’s tongue lick a long stripe up his dick before taking him fully into his mouth. You hummed appreciatively at the gorgeous view in front of you, reaching out to stroke your hand along Theo’s hip and thigh.
The dorm was quickly filled with the sweet sounds of Theodore’s little moans and sighs, and the filthy wet sounds of Mattheo’s mouth.
He drew Theo closer and closer to his release. But right as your sweetest lover’s body began to shake, you caught sight of one of your brat’s hands subtly sneaking between his legs. You growled, tightening your grip in his hair to warn him to pull off.
As soon as Mattheo pulled off of Theo’s cock, panting for air, you harshly grabbed his jaw and yanked his head up to face you.
“Greedy fucking whore,” you sneered, “I told you not to touch yourself. Apologize to Theo for being such a self-centered brat.”
“S-sorry! So-sorry! I-I’m sorry, T-Theo!”
“Good boy,” you murmur, petting his hair and lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. “Good, love. Continue.”
Mattheo let out a shaky breath, still reeling from the whiplash of your sudden gentleness as he leaned back down to continue his earlier ministrations.
He quickly realized why you’d been so suddenly sweet when he felt your hand start roughly palming him through his trousers. He whined around Theo’s cock, which in turn made Theodore gasp and moan loudly.
You grinned at your boys’ reactions as you leaned down to murmur in Mattheo’s ear, “You can cum if you get Teddy off, alright sweetheart?”
Sparked with renewed interest at the incentive, Mattheo resumed sucking off Theo with vigor. Theo’s thighs shook as he babbled incoherently, a mix of “Fuck!”s, “Merlin-”s, and “Y/n!”s.
“Good boys, that’s it,” you cooed sweetly, brushing sweaty curls off of Theo’s forehead. “You’re just so close, aren’t you, my love?”
Theo sobbed pitifully and nodded. “Pl-please- Y/n- please!”
“Go ahead,” you whispered, stroking his cheek with your thumb.
With your permission, Theo fell apart with a loud moan, his entire body shaking and spasming. You continued palming Mattheo, intent on keeping good on your promise.
“Come whenever you’re ready, Riddle,” you murmured. He had pulled off of Theo by now, and stared up at you with wide, glazed-over eyes. You wiped a smear of cum from the corner of his lips with your thumb, grinning teasingly at the pair of them as you promptly stuck it in your mouth and swirled your tongue around the digit.
With one final moan, Mattheo’s body stiffened up and broke down into shudders as he was wracked with the force of his orgasm. His arms gave out and he collapsed onto the bed, tucking his face into the hollow where Theo’s thigh met his pelvis.
You gave both of your boys a minute to collect themselves, murmuring gentle praise as you littered their faces with soft kisses. “Both so good for me, my best boys. So perfect.”
You sat in a contented quiet for a few more minutes, just caressing them gently. But once their breathings had steadied out, they startled you by sharing a look and abruptly tugging you down and rolling over on top of you.
“Your turn now, love.”
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mitoad · 20 days
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i know that everyone says this but the mw3 rm soap death was shit awful . looking back at it, logistically , it shouldn’t have happened .
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so the first injury in this was soap being shot in the right shoulder (most likely in joint tendon region) . pretty painful , and if did hit in the area i believe it did , would hinder mobility in the upper right region of the body (neck, arm, some torso muscles .
HOWEVER !! soap has proven to be shot in similar or worse regions in other missions and has been able to carry through and complete objective alive .
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what you are seeing is a move that should have killed makarov instantly . this is a stab performed to the external jugular vein (and due to soaps experience , possibly a carotid artery . i was taught this attack in weapons studies , my friends in the military were also taught that this region is one of the quickest ways to krill . (not giving murder advice just trying to prove a point please don’t ban me) not to mention this is immensely painful . realistically , mans should have dropped then and there . not to mention there were sas soldiers who should have opened fire the second they saw him anyways ??
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now THIS is the part that pisses me off the most. see makarov’s lock ? that actively engages the trapezius and scalene muscles , which would be DIRECTLY affected from the stab would . combined with the fact that soap is (estimated) 80-90 kgs , he would not have been able to perform that lock let alone hold it .
and with soap being part of the fucking MILITARY , he should have been able to get out of that by a) breaking the locked arm and using the other hand to either disarm / kill makarov (which he should have been able to handle , especially judging by the fucking alone mission) or b) hitting the back of makarovs knee to send them both to the ground, slip under him to not break his arm and hit em w the buck+trap+flip to get a vantage, and then continue the fight from there, which should be very short anyways considering that makarov’s bleeding out faster than a fucking SNAKE STRIKE . and somehow with the majestic force of activision giving less than 2 fucks about all the characters and medical theory there , makarov manages to get a straight aim and shoot soap straight through the ear ??!! and then bolt past a fuck ton of bullets that should have BEEN FIRED ON HIM EARLIER and then hurl himself INTO A TRAIN . if you wanted to kill of one of the leads in the modern warfare series , do it in a way that is well written and thought out and accurate .
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astaroth1357 · 4 months
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Oh God, What Have We Done??: Father!Solomon Headcanons
You know what? I'm a Solomon love-hater but I'll go to bat for him too. You could pick worse.
Contents: Unhinged Ms. Frizzle-style parenting, the horrors of human biology, possible pregnancy implications, fluff
~♡♡♡~
So. I can see this happening intentionally. Solomon craves a happy family, so I absolutely see the thought of rasing a kid with MC coming up once or twice.
That said, I think zero planning actually went into making it happen. This is a spur-of-the-moment decision made by two lovesick dolts. Not a damn thought was spared for the consequences, and it shows.
For starters, MC and Solomon both agreed to raise a child together while they were in the human world and told NOBODY ELSE. So from the outside looking in, they just left the Devildom for “training purposes” and returned with a random infant!
No call ahead. No fanfare. They both stepped out of the portal with a flying stroller and bottomless diaper bag, grinning from ear to ear like it all was just souvenirs from Disney World!
Naturally, all hell broke loose. The brothers were collectively hyperventilating, Simeon almost fainted, and Diavolo noticed that Barbatos wasn't moving or blinking, so the Little Ds had to carry him away like a malfunctioning android...
Does Solomon having a kid make him a grandfather…? He is not ready to ponder that thought. No one is.
Despite Mammon and Belphegor’s insistence they had to “Put it back!” after MC made it clear that raising a baby was what they wanted and that Solomon was there to stay, the brothers made peace with it… to varying degrees.
Asmo was the only one thrilled that his favorite humans now have an even cuter mini-human to take around because he'd get to try his hand at baby fashion design! The least happy was probably Belphegor because a baby means that MC is going to be way too busy to nap now. Plus, he had to deal with a lot more Solomon in his life, which very few people ever ask for...
The crew's reaction to the baby's development is actually pretty funny to see. Humans age much, much faster than their supernatural counterparts so, from their perspective, the new baby is growing at lightning speed!
Mammon was with them when they were teaching the baby to crawl and he started freaking out because, “How’re they movin' already!?” The first day their child came running, physically running, into the HoL without any help actually made Levi scream in fright.
The House had a complete meltdown when Beel was watching the child one day and they lost a tooth while eating some hard candy. They all thought that MC and Solomon were going to burn the place down, so imagine their surprise when the overjoyed parents kept congratulating their kid for losing a baby tooth...
And don't get any of them started on the growth spurts...
The one to take to the kid the most as they grew was, funnily enough, Lucifer. Most likely because their various milestones reminded him of when his brothers were doing the same things.
The child is more than happy to tell “Uncle Luci” anything, which he acts like he only tolerates, but in reality he loves being their favorite brother.
Barbatos is EXTREMELY protective of them. Nearly as protective as he is with Diavolo.
Their kid, of course, has no clue. He's just nice Uncle Barbie (he refused to be called Grandpa) who makes them sweets and watches over them in the Castle. But anyone who get too close while they're playing gets a stare down worse than all of Cerberus’ heads combined...
Mammon swore in front of them once and Barbatos strung him up so tightly that even Lucifer thought it was overkill.
Luke seems to enjoy having a baby sibling of sorts to look after, but he is going to be so upset when they get taller than him in the blink of an eye. He’s going to be their guardian angel for sure, btw.
As a father, Solomon is… spirited. Anyone can see that he’s ecstatic to be a parent, it’s just…
Well, years of isolation on top of being a once-in-a-lifetime prodigy may not have made him the most “in touch” with children these days, you know? MC has absolutely come home to find Solomon has propped up their 6-month-old with a stack of books to start teach them how to play chess.
Daddy-Baby adventure always end in spectacular fashion. Solomon is a very “hands-on science teacher” kind of guy with unwavering confidence in his abilities to keep his child safe. This, to be fair, isn’t unwarranted, however...
Does that mean you should make a plans to take your child to forbidden places for some sightseeing? Or let your child touch, paw at, and gnaw on any magic item that suits their fancy in the name of a making a new teaching experience...? Probably not, but it’s also how he learned so…
It must be assumed that whatever kid these two have, biological or not, will be a magic powerhouse of destructive proportions. All that training from Solomon himself since infancy? They'll have a wand in their hand before they can even work a fork!
I like to imagine that Solomon's kid would have a very, very hard time controlling their magic and it would get uncontrollable at times. Like, a sneeze could knock over a bookshelf or getting angry makes things go flying. But Solomon would never ever scold them for it like it’s they're fault.
He'd never make them feel the same isolation and shame that he did at their age.
It would be very, very sweet. But it also means that MC could come home to a flooded house and, instead of cleaning out the water, Solomon would teaching their child how to snorkel in the living room.
Pure chaos, but MC could never find a prouder father. Solomon would devote his entire being to giving their child all of the love and happiness they deserve. Their kid almost never sees him without a grin on his face, just ready to just wrap them a bear hug for no reason.
On quiet nights, he'd cradle them or rock them to sleep while holding back tears. MC has found him over their crib like he’s still trying to convince himself that they're real, that he's gotten this lucky.
He's not a conventional father. Hell, he's not a conventional human either. But he’s grateful for day he gets to be a parent... Every. Single. One.
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mhsdatgo · 5 months
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Always hated the way according to TB I'm supposed, as a woman, to root for Rhaenyra "Mary Sue" Targaryen because she's a Valyrian woman and can't do no wrong. Otherwise I'm framed as a misogynist, an enabler, a rape apologist, every name in the book. As if this isn't the same girl who coerced her bodyguard because her erectile disfunction uncle didn't wanna bang her after leaving her in a brothel, naked and on plain sight for any kind of perverted brute. As if this isn't the same girl who weaponized both her and her best friend's trauma to twist a truth about something she very willingly did that could've had her disowned if her father was anyone else other than the weak ass neglectful rapist pedo father she had instead.
This is the same girl who ignored and mistreated Alicent when all she did was convince Viserys to allow her privileges she never had, like choosing a husband. Like it or not, it was Alicent the one who gave gave and gave, and Rhaenyra the one who took took and took and even MOCKED, time and time again. The same girl who acted like a victim when the girl she called her literal best friend (only when it benefitted her) was getting maritally R*PED in the next room by her crusty ass father. She never tried connecting with her siblings because they were Alicent's children. Not because their minds were poisoned, not because they were apparently bitter towards her. Because they weren't her mother's children. Same as Viserys. Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
I'm supposed to root for a woman who doesn't do one single thing for the claim she feels so entitled to (who was purely based on Viserys' grief and guilt for Aemma)? I'm supposed to root for a woman who brings back to the line of succession the same man everyone wanted far from the line of succession? I'm supposed to root for the woman who wants to be the exception, not give possibilities to other women like an ACTUAL feminist does? She usurps her stepdaughters' claims in favor of her obviously bastard children, and no, betrothing the fpur of them isn't the same. If they die, the girls' claim dies with them, and guess what, exactly that happened.
No, I will not root for the woman who wanted a teenager's head because she was black and because she couldn't cope with the fact that "hEr pRiNcE" didn't love her, only what her title could offer. Or the woman who put a price on a 6yo's and a 2yo's head simply because they were her brother's children, thereby proving what Criston said about what was needed for Jace to raise to power after his mother. She even denied the request of multiple older daughters/sisters who rightfully wanted to lead their houses, with the excuse that the relam would be far too 'imbalanced'. Girl, are you that dense? There's the smallfolk getting eaten and burned and taxes by your dragon and your entire family fighting wars and dying left and right and you think two women ruling their houses will destabilize the realm?
Rhaenyra is many things, but feminist is not among them, no matter how much you cry and whine about it. Yes, I'm aware that no woman in asoiaf or f&b can be described as feminist. But the convinction (and delusion) that Rhaenyra is, without a shadow of doubt, is mindblowing. She's arguably worse than any of said women combined.
No, I don't feel represented or uplifted by a tyrant, classist, racist, hypocritical, spoiled kinslayer with god complex because she's albino and has a pet dragon as spoiled and as useless as her. Sorry not sorry.
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awooghan · 4 months
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fall in love with me (this christmas) ✧.* h.hj
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➳ PAIRING: hyunjin x fem!reader
➳ GENRE: fluff, mild angst, best friends to lovers, christmas
➳ WARNINGS: mild language, mentions of food, hyunjin is tipsy in one part (he and reader are ‘00 or ‘01 tho so they’re legal), UNEDITED (will be fully edited by new years) UPDATE: fully edited as of jan. 19, 2024
➳ WORD COUNT: 22.9k (final wc after editing)
➳ SUMMARY: hyunjin has one last chance to have a college christmas romance and he’ll do anything to have it—even if it means fake-dating his best friend. (inspired by "cold december night" by michael buble)
➳ NOTES: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! 🎄❄️ i hope you have/had an amazing day with love ones and good food! this fic is my christmas collab with my bestie @ujimoo :3 some parts r kind of rough bc we didn't fully edit yet but i hope y'all enjoy <3
network tags: @kflixnet @straykidsland-main @kwritersworld
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prologue.
�� halloween.
You didn’t think the night could get any worse.
The night started from the moment you caught a whiff of beer, sweat, and Dior Sauvage as Hyunjin dragged you by the hand to ‘Jackson’s 2023 Annual Hallo-Wang Party’. You could think of a thousand other ways you wanted to spend your Halloween that didn’t involve being stuck here, but you lost a bet with Chan, so you don’t exactly have a choice.
So here you are, sitting in the kitchen with your now-ruined costume sticking to your skin, thanks to someone (Jeongin) spilling his tequila on you when you were playing beer pong. Now, not only is your head throbbing from the smell of frat party, but you have an ugly pink blotch on the costume you took weeks to put together.
You nurse whatever the concoction of alcohol is the punch when Hyunjin, too tipsy for his own good, slides up next to you and rests his chin on your shoulder. 
“Y/NNN~…” he sighs, wrapping his arms around your waist. “There you are!” 
Fighting against his hold on you, you’re finally able to get his hands away from your waist, only for him to wrap his arms around your arm like a lost child. 
“Why don’t you love me?” he mumbles, hiccuping at the end of his sentence. “Do you hate me?” 
A smile tugs at your lips as you turn to look at your best friend. His blond hair falls in front of his eyes as he stares at you. “Of course.” 
His nose scrunches in disgust and he shakes his head as your laughter surrounds him. It somehow makes him feel lighter than all of the alcohol he’s drunk combined. 
“You’re so mean, why would you say that?” he whines. He grabs your arm tighter and shoves his head on your shoulder. 
Exhaling, you pat his head lightly before resting your head on his. It’s like the world goes silent for a moment as you run your fingers through his hair.
You’re both like that for an uncertain amount of time before Hyunjin jumps back up, his arms still around your arm. A large tipsy smile creeps on his face and he suddenly begins to giggle. The way his eyes light up almost makes you do the same.
“I think Jisoo is going to ask me out~” He sighs dreamily.  “I feel the vibes, you can feel it too, right?” 
You catch the way two of your friends, Changbin and Jisung, are watching you from the kitchen door. Sticking your tongue out at them, they return it with winks, eyeing up both you and Hyunjin. 
You turn back to the giggly blond clinging to your arm and shrug. “I’m not sure. I don’t really see her around campus.”
You’re not trying to sound like you’re completely disinterested in what Hyunjin’s saying, but when you already know where it’s heading, you can’t help it. You’re not really sure Hyunjin is even listening though when he sighs to himself and tugs on your arm again. 
“This is—” tug. “My chance—” tug. “For my Christmas romance, Y/Nie.” A harder tug.  “I can feel it in the air!” Aggressive shaking.
Breaking your arm away from him, you huff. Can’t you have one night before Hyunjin’s constant babbling about Christmas and Christmas romances?
“Can we wait till after Halloween to talk about Christmas, please?” you groan, causing Hyunjin to sneer at you. 
“Why do you have to be such a Grinch?” he attempts to whisper—but his intoxicated brain has other ideas. 
You attempt to ignore the feeling of his arms sneakily slipping around your waist again and the way his head seems to fit into the dip of your shoulder as you sigh.
“Ask me about it again tomorrow.” 
You really didn’t think the night could get any worse. But after corralling Hyunjin, who could barely stand on his own, back to his dorm, you were proven wrong. So, so wrong.
When you finally untangle yourself from his hold and hand him off to his poor roommate, Felix, it’s 11:58pm. Normally, you wouldn’t care to watch the clock for something so mundane, but you had a feeling he was going to text you the minute you look away.
And sure enough, the second you leave Hyunjin’s dorm building, you feel your phone vibrate in your hoodie pocket.
Hyunnie : it’s november 1st Hyunnie : it’s christmas time bitch!! Hyunnie : ah Hyunnie : sorry for calling you a bitch… Hyunnie : i got excited TT
You can only roll your eyes fondly. At least it’s November now.
one.
– november 1st.
Hyunjin feels sticky. 
Every year he rejoices at the start of the Christmas season, but every year he also forgets that the start is the one part he hates. The morning is so nice and icy-cold, everything sweater weather should be. But by midday… the sweater has to come off. Then he’s sweating in places he shouldn’t be, he’s itching all over, and he’s all grumpy and gross and he just wants to shower twenty times to try and rid himself of the feeling of his clothes clinging to his skin. 
He can see his breath just past his nose as he tries to rid his shoes of the mush that is the remains of fallen leaves. He knows he shouldn’t have worn his pristine white sneakers that you had gotten him for his birthday earlier that year (ones that he, not to mention, cleans frantically after every use). But they go so well with his dark grey jeans that he had to! The things he does for his passion for fashion…
When Jisoo first messaged him asking to meet up by the trees, it felt like a dream come true, one he’s been waiting for for so long. But now that he’s here, he’s not sure how long he’s been waiting, but he feels like he’s a Sim with stink lines coming off of him and he wants to scream. His controller must hate him because nothing is going as he planned. 
So when he finally sees Jisoo in the distance, he lets out a sigh of relief. He sees her try and keep her bag on her shoulder as she rushes over. When she’s finally in front of him, with strands of hair stuck to her face, her mouth slightly open as she tries to catch her breath… all Hyunjin does is blink. 
If you had asked him a week ago, he would have found this adorable. He would have screamed in her face and pinched her cheeks, before running to his dorm and spamming your texts about how Jisoo is the cutest girl he’s ever seen and how his heart has never beaten as fast as it does around her. 
But now he’s standing there, with the love of his life right in front of him, and he feels… wrong. There’s murky puddles and soggy leaves surrounding his and Jisoo’s feet, an angry draft blows past his ears as he tries to read Jisoo’s lips, and a stifling blanket that’s the same dirty shade of grey as his dryer lint trap smothers him from overhead. Nothing feels right, he feels icky, and his heart is fluttering for all the wrong reasons. All he wants to do is run off into the sunset, and not with her.
He barely even hears her as the whole world moves in fast forward while he stands there completely still. And he doesn’t even remember what he says before he walks away, his shoulder brushing against Jisoo’s in the process. He doesn’t even turn back when he hears her call out to him multiple times. 
He’s sure that when he tells you his over-dramatised version of what he assumes was Jisoo’s confession, you’ll do your exaggerated laugh that makes you snort and then complain that you snorted. You’ll look at him in a way that screams ‘I told you so,’ and he hates it so much that he considers not telling you at all.
But even he knows he’s a blabbermouth and as soon as he lays his eyes on you, the words will fall out of his mouth before he even has a chance to think. 
So he goes to the nearest pizza place by your dorm, and he orders your usual: half cheese, half pepperoni. You’re too indecisive to pick just one, so you get both. He orders his own pizza too and he sits and waits, stripping himself of his scarf and his hat before shoving it into his backpack and playing around with his hair, trying to get it to look right before his order is called. 
When he’s finally outside your door, he doesn’t bother to knock—he walks straight in and calls out for you. You rush out of your room, an oversized hoodie covering your frame with your hood up. 
“Damn it, Hyun, can’t you call before you show up uninvited?” you huff, instantly eyeing up the pizzas. “What would you have done if I wasn’t here?” 
Hyunjin shrugs. He knows there’s no way you’d be anywhere else. Your friends are his friends and they’re all in class or with their own significant others… not that that matters…
He hands you your own pizza and smiles at the way you smile when you fall onto the couch and stuff the first slice into your mouth. A muffled ‘thank you’ somehow escapes your lips. Gulping it down, you wipe your mouth with your sleeve, causing Hyunjin to curl his lip in disgust.
“Why are you here, anyway?” you ask before tearing off another bite of pizza.
“No reason.” He’s trying his best to do a Mary-Kate and Ashley and keep his lips sealed, but it’s no use. 
You just blink at him until the dam finally bursts. 
“Jisoo confessed to me and I turned her down.”
Still blinking, you furrow your eyebrows as you look at him in confusion. “But… isn’t that what you wanted?” 
Hyunjin keeps his eyes locked on the pizza slice he’s playing with aimlessly instead of actually eating. He can’t even explain how he’s feeling. He wanted, no, dreamed of the perfect confession, and he blew his chance. Because of… bad vibes? How do you even explain that?
“I… I don’t know,” he mumbles. He sighs, dropping the pizza box on his lap as he throws his head back against the couch to look up at the ceiling. “It just…” He pauses. “It wasn’t what I thought it would be.” 
“Is a confession ever going to be perfect, though?”
Hyunjin sits up instantly at the question. The way he moves so suddenly makes you jump, but he doesn’t mean to scare you. He’s just very… passionate…  about the subject. ‘Passionate’ may not be enough to describe it.
“Of course it can be!” He has to stop himself from blabbing too much. He’s sure you’re tired of hearing his speeches about this, so he just gives you the short version. “It’s the biggest moment of any relationship! With the right person, it’s always going to be perfect. Like, you know in your heart when it’s right, and…” he sighs, “I didn’t feel that.” 
He looks at you, and you nod. “Then… maybe you didn’t like her as much as you thought you did?” 
Hyunjin falls against the couch again. His voice comes out as a whine this time, “But that was my last chance at a Christmas romance!” 
Is he being dramatic? Maybe a little, Hyunjin figures. He’s just lucky it’s you he’s ranting to, because the most you do in response to this is huff and give him a look. If it was one of mutual friends, they would have slapped some sense into him by now. Metaphorically, at least… hopefully.
“This isn’t your last chance at a Christmas romance, you know that right?” you say. “You’re acting like this is your last Christmas, period.” 
He sinks somehow further into the couch. “Okay, fine.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “My last college Christmas romance.” 
“You didn’t have one last year? Why does it matter now?” you ask, reaching once more for your pizza. 
“Because it’s our final year!! That’s kind of the point of it being the final chance, Y/N.” 
Hyunjin knows you mean well, but you rolling your eyes at him as you shove another bite into your mouth isn’t helping his plight. He can’t help but frown at you, though, not only because of your reaction, but now because you’re talking with your mouth full.
“Here’s an idea,” you gulp down some of the pizza stuffed in your cheeks, “just fake it till you make it. Get someone to fake date you.” 
It takes a second for Hyunjin to process what you say. But when he does, he gasps loudly and sits up even faster than last time. He turns and grabs hold of your shoulders so fast that it takes all of your force not to fall backwards.
“You’re a genius!”
You smirk, shrugging your shoulders. “I know. No need to remind me.” 
The look of disgust returns and Hyunjin slowly moves his hands away from your shoulders like you just infected him with something. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 
“We both know it’s true, though.” 
“I hate you.” 
“I hate me too.” 
He ignores your self-degrading comment and sighs. His arms find their way to cross themselves over his chest once more and he thinks to himself for a minute. He has a world of possibilities at his fingertips, but he knows exactly what he wants to do. Just… he doesn’t know how to say it. Might as well just rip the bandaid.
“So when’s our first fake date?”
You cough out whatever pizza you had left in your mouth and it takes you a moment to catch your breath again. When you finally have a moment to breathe, you look at Hyunjin. “Our what?!” 
Hyunjin simply blinks at you. He just asked the most obvious question in the world, and you’re looking at him like you just asked him to solve a derivative. He doesn’t even remember what that is.
You motion for him to continue, but he’s still blinking. “What?” he says.
“When I suggested fake dating someone, I didn’t mean me!”
“Of course it has to be you!” he frantically tries to explain.  “I-I can’t just ask a random person to fake date me when I have no idea who they are!” 
“So you just assume I’d say ‘yes’?!” 
“Oh, come on, please!” he begs, actually getting down on the floor in front of you. He links his hands together as he whips out his best puppy dog eyes. 
He waits and goes still and keeps giving you that cartoonish pleading stare. Then, you sigh.
“I feel like I get nothing out of this. You get your fake Christmas romance and what do I get? A fake boyfriend I didn’t ask for?” 
He goes still again. He thinks hard about anything that will get you to agree. He’ll pull out the big guns, if he has to. And that’s what he does, and based on the terrified look on your face, he’s sure he has a crazed gleam in his eyes when he says it.
“I’ll never complain about not having or finding a Christmas romance again!” 
Hyunjin can’t believe he said that. You stare at him, he’s staring at you. He’s sure you don’t believe him.
“Come on!” he huffs. “Don’t look at me like that!”
“You can’t keep anything to yourself, you really believe you’d be able to keep that?” 
Hyunjin nods frantically.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he hears you mutter before looking him in the eyes. “Fine. I’ll do it.” 
Hyunjin’s up in another flash, pushing you with all his weight against the couch as he hugs you even tighter. 
“THANK YOU!! You’re the best!!” 
And in the next moment, he’s standing, his hand out for you to take. “Let's go!” A confident beam is plastered on his face. He can’t say the same for you.
“Huh?”
You just keep staring at his outstretched hand. Knowing you’re not going to move, Hyunjin just huffs and grabs your hand, pulling you to the front door.
“On our first date, decorating your dorm!!” 
“HUH?!”
As you walk through the store, Hyunjin has his fingers entwined with yours so tightly that you almost think he’s cutting off blood flow. It’s almost as if he was afraid you’d change your mind and disappear if he let go. 
He beelines towards the Christmas decorations. You don’t know why he insisted on buying more when you still have the stuff that he made you get last year—you just forgot where you put it. But you live in a tiny college dorm, so it’s not like you had many places to look.
It’s whatever, you guess. You don't bother to question what’s going through his mind right now. It won’t end well if you do.
Hyunjin’s other hand is pushing an extra large cart you're sure you don’t need, but he got it anyway. He can’t possibly be thinking of filling up the whole cart, can he? You live in a college dormitory. Only so much can fit.
After what seems like a lifetime, you’re both in front of the Christmas decorations. With his hand still stuck to yours like glue, he starts to examine each set of decorations with his other hand, holding it up close to his eyes as if he doesn’t have perfect vision. 
“What are you doing?” you ask. 
“Checking,” he mutters, placing a box of lights back down on the shelf before picking up another one.
“Checking for…?” 
He huffs, drops his shoulders, and stares at you with nothing behind his eyes. “The perfect lights. They shouldn’t be broken and we need to know they’ll shine bright enough.” 
“They’re lights, Hyun,” you respond simply. “It doesn’t matter if they’re perfect or not.” 
Pushing your lips into a line, you stare at each other in silence for a moment or two—honestly, you’re not too sure how long the moment actually is. Hyunjin just looks away, placing the box of lights back onto the shelf. 
“You’re relying too much on everything being perfect.” 
You feel the way his grip tightens around your hand. He stays silent, picking up another box of lights before placing them in the shopping cart. “These are perfect,” he says, ignoring your words. “We should get these.” 
He pushes the cart further down whilst dragging you along in the process. Picks up another set of lights, checks them, and puts them down, before repeating this a few times before he’s happy with the one he’s decided on. He does this for many of the tinsel, for some random ornaments, and for random chocolates and candy canes to hang on the tree. 
You’re fiddling on your phone when he tugs on your hand, causing you to look up at him. In his free hand are two mini stuffed animal ornaments. He’s gazing at them with a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.
“It’s us.” His eyes find yours. There’s a softness to his voice that compliments the warm smile he gives you. “We should get them… they’re perfect.” 
This time, you squeeze his hand back. His smile infects you, and you’re unable to do anything but return it. Nodding, you return your gaze back to the two little stuffed ornaments. “They are perfect… like us.” 
“There’s that smile I missed so much!” he says sarcastically.
“Aaaand moment ruined.”
You tug at his hand, trying to get them to finally unlink. The sweat forming in between them is getting a bit much. 
“You can’t escape from me that easily,” Hyunjin says with a smoulder.
“Ew,” you fake gag. “You’ve been hanging out with Jisung too much. Only he makes the fuckboy thing work, bestie.” 
“Bestie- zoned?” Hyunjin gasps, his over-dramatic look you’re so accustomed to taking over his features. “I thought I was your boyfriend?” 
Your smile drops and you want to smack him and his teasing into next week. “FAKE boyfriend.” 
He turns from you as he hisses to you or himself—you’re not really sure which—before he pulls you further down the aisle. 
“You’re no fun.”
two.
– november 3rd.
Looking around your dorm makes you want to throw up. 
After Hyunjin took you (read: dragged you) shopping the other day, the boy immediately took the bags of stuff to your dorm and started plastering the stuff everywhere. Now, the room is filled to the brim with golden lights and colourful tinsel, and your little desk tree was just as flashy. Considering that your space is a tiny college dorm, it makes the space feel a bit suffocating, but not unenjoyable.
You fear Hyunjin took “deck the halls” a little too far and that your dorm will catch on fire because of it, not just because of the three separate Christmas candles Hyunjin insisted on buying, but also because of how dangerously close they were to the tinsel. You wonder what your roommate, Yeri, would say about this. Actually, you’re not entirely sure when you last saw her.
You aren’t able to dwell much longer on the thought as a knock followed by a crash and yelp pulls you out of your own head. You hurry to the door and open it to find none other than your Christmas menace, Hyunjin, sprawled on his butt in front of you. Bags with what appear to be baking ingredients are spread all over the ground around him. 
“Hey~” is the only thing he says, a sheepish smile on his face, as you stare at him incredulously. 
“What’s all this?”
“It’s…” he starts as you help him up, then trails off once he’s upright. He bends down to pick up a bag of chocolate chips by his feet, then he looks at you and holds them out proudly. “…Our next date!”
You roll your eyes fondly at the boy. Of course, he already thought up a second date idea so soon. Knowing him, he’s probably been planning this since he got home after the first date.
But still, you can’t help but crack a smile. Baking cookies seems like a fun little fake date—after all, it’s hard to make Christmas cookies into some sappy Hallmark scene. Plus, you get to keep half the batch at the end.
What could go wrong?
As you help pick up the rest of the ingredients off the floor, you notice a neatly folded piece of paper fall out of Hyunjin’s pocket. You stick it in your pocket before placing a milk carton and a brown sugar pack on the kitchen island, then you take out and unfold the paper, squinting as you read it.
“Is this… Felix’s recipe?” you say. The distinct way he loops his ‘Y’s gives it away for you.
“N… No…” Hyunjin tries to convince you, but his statement comes out as more of a question than a definitive answer.
You give him another incredulous look.
“Okay, fine, it is!” he huffs, throwing his head back dramatically. “I begged him for the recipe so we could try to make it together. His cookies always come out great, so it can’t be that hard!” He grins confidently, but that facade quickly fades. “…Right?”
A smile returns to your lips. “Right! Yeah!” You’re afraid your smile looks more nervous than confident, though. “Totally…”
“We can do it! I think…”
Hyunjin laughs a little, and you follow too, even if it feels somewhat forced.
“And if we fail, we’ll just get the store-bought ones!” he adds. “Easy as pie.” A small smile dances on his lips. “Anything for my favourite girlfriend~” he sings, winking at you playfully.
Any hint of your smile, real or not, drops at the sentence.
“Fake girlfriend.”
“Potayto, potahto. Now help me with the batter.”
“Are you sure you’re doing this right?” you say.
Instead of jumping into baking right away, you and Hyunjin have spent the past ten minutes overwhelmed over the instructions Felix provided. It’s not that they’re difficult or anything—fifteen steps to make some cookies just feels like a lot. 
Especially to two beginners, one of which is struggling to cut a one-pound stick of butter in half with a cleaver. You’re left to watch Hyunjin nearly slice his fingers as he tries, a near-grimace twisted on your face.
“I got it, I got it!” Hyunjin grunts as he tries to push the cleaver down.  “Almost… there…”
The way his fingers are so dangerously close to the blade makes you wince. After another moment, you can’t take watching him anymore.
“Oh my god, give me the knife.”
In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to shoo Hyunjin away from the cleaver while he’s holding it for dear life. Knowing him, he could’ve found a way to cut himself even after he let go. Luckily, you both remain unscathed and you successfully cut the butter in half.
“What’s next?” Hyunjin asks as he watches you cut one of the halves. He peeks at the recipe over your shoulder.
You scan the paper for the next step, moving it quickly so he can see, too. “Looks like the… dry ingredients? We can start with the flour, I guess.”
“Flour…”
Hyunjin hums along with “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande as he digs through the ingredient pile on the island. You glance up and find yourself giggling at the silly hand gestures he makes.
“Flour coming right…” he announces, letting out a grunt as he lifts the giant bag, “…up!”
You set the cleaver aside and rush to help him carry the bag. “Why’d you buy the ten kilogram bag?!”
“I didn’t know how much we needed!” He lets out a dramatic huff once you both get the bag on a stool.
“I’m pretty sure a normal-sized bag would have been enough, Hyun.”
“Look,” Hyunjin huffs again and runs a hand through his hair, “I’ve learned from Felix, alright? This is serious cookie and movie date business and we can’t make mistakes.” 
Fake cookie date.
“But there’s going to be mistakes, that’s just how it is.” You shrug, carefully opening the bag, then letting out a sigh as a lump of flour falls out onto the floor. “Just think, Felix’s recipes weren’t perfect straight away—” 
Hyunjin cuts you off with a gasp. A hand flies over his heart as he stares at you with betrayal. “Excuse you, they’ve always been great. You’re lucky I wouldn’t tell him you said that.”
You decide not to say anything else, but get the flour ready to sieve into the mixture. “Do you want to do this or I?” 
Even though he still has too much energy, he gently pushes you out of the way and takes the sieve from your hands. “Me, me, me.” 
Without bothering to do anything else, he takes a handful of flour and dumps it into a sieve and starts tapping at the side of it. 
“Hyunjin!” you gasp, “We could at least measure it first!” 
“Live a little, Y/N!” Hyunjin sways to the music. “You said nothing has to be perfect right away! I’m trying to follow your advice.” 
You blink, half-laughing, half-scoffing. “I didn’t mean to not follow the recipe! We still have to, you know.”
Hyunjin doesn’t say anymore, he just continues to sieve the flour into the bowl. However, by the bridge of the song, he’s so into it that he’s nearly forgotten what he’s doing. While he goes on autopilot, the flour soon enough misses the bowl entirely and lands on the kitchen counter and over his shoes. 
“Oops,” he giggles. 
“I’m baking with a child,” you mutter to yourself, arms crossed over your chest. 
He picks up another handful of the flour and looks down at the mixture before looking over at you. He stares at you, you stare at him. It’s like a silent battle. 
“Don’t you dare.” 
He does dare. However, instead of throwing it at you, he throws it up; and instead of landing on you directly, it falls lightly to the floor, just barely falling into your socks. He grins and a giggle escapes his lips. 
Whatever self-control you have leaves you at that moment and you grab your own handful of flour. As you step forward, he steps back, causing you to raise an eyebrow. 
“You’re not scared… are you?” you question.
He scoffs. “Me? Scared?” He fakes a cackle. “Never!” 
You take another step forward. He takes another back. 
“So you wouldn’t mind if I—” 
Rushing forward, you push your hand into his cheek, letting the flour fall from your hand and over him. Some of the remnants left on his cheek fall as he huffs. 
“That’s it.” He grabs another scoop. “You’re on.” 
You have exactly two seconds to decide what to do before Hyunjin stalks toward you, a mischievous grin on his face and handful of flour held high. You turn and start to scramble away from him right as he pounces, trying to grab you so he can dump the flour on your head.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He giggles tauntingly. “Don’t you want a hug from your loving boyfriend~?” 
“Fake boyfriend!” you call over your shoulder.
Trying desperately not to trip, you make a mad dash for the living room, Hyunjin’s cackles ring in your ears as he bounds closer. You get two more big steps in and just as you’re about to leap for the couch, a strong arm wraps itself around your middle and pulls you back. 
“Got you~” Hyunjin’s voice is right next to your ear and you can practically hear him smirking in victory. You wriggle around, trying to free yourself but it’s to no avail. 
You’re able to turn just enough to face him and send him the glare he deserves. He just faces you, narrowing his eyes for a second, then that look falls to a more disapproving one.
“Are you ready to follow the recipe now?” the boy asks sassily.
You want to smack his pretty face so bad.
“I hate you.”
Surprisingly, Hyunjin keeps his word and actually follows Felix’s recipe, word-for-word. You’re happy with how the balls of cookie dough turned out, even though you just placed them in the oven—and don’t tell Hyunjin, but you ate a bit of the dough. It’s too good.
“And now we wait twelve minutes,” you declare as you start a timer on your phone. You leave it on the island and head over to the living room.
You watch, baffled, as Hyunjin spreads out tattered-looking physical copies of a bunch of Christmas movies over your coffee table. Once they’ve landed in a heap, he turns back and looks at you, the same way a dog does when it thinks it's done something incredible. 
To say you’re confused as to why he brought over DVDs when you could just rent the movies online is an understatement. Especially when he knew full well that you somehow had access to Chan’s Netflix account—you hacked it, but is it really hacking when his password is ilovefelix143?
Hyunjin’s eyebrows basically merge. Instead of being a little happy puppy, he’s now like a puppy with his tail stuck between his legs. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 
Your eyes shift from him to the movies and back.
“You…” sigh. “You know we have Netflix, right?” 
“That’s not the same thing,” he whines. “And you know it! The vibe will be totally off if we watch them all on Netflix!”
You might as well be a fan of BlackPink because all you can do is blink. “And it won’t be if we watch them on DVD?” 
Rising his fist, Hyunjin grabs your shoulder to shake you lightly. As you attempt to push him away, his grip somehow gets tighter. 
“Just pick,” shake. “one to,” he tugs your arm. “ start with!” 
“Alright!” You huff, flailing your arms around to finally get him to drop his grip. You point in a random direction. “That one!” 
It’s his turn to blink. “You’re not pointing at shit and you know it.” 
With a movie finally picked out, the title screen theme of The Muppets’ Christmas Carol begins to repeat as Hyunjin is in the kitchen getting the cookies out of the oven. However, after the fifth repeat, you’re ready to pull your hair strand by strand from your head. 
“Are you almost ready?!” you call out to him. “This music is driving me insane!”
Part of you wants to complain more, but you bite your tongue. It could’ve been worse—it could’ve been the theme of When Harry Met Sally on repeat.
Hyunjin appears at the door, tray in hand. “You can’t really go mad if you’re already there.” 
If it wasn’t a threat to the precious cookies currently residing in the tray in his hands, you would have thrown every pillow on this couch at him. 
“You say I’m mean to you, but then this is how you treat me!” You gasp, watching as he rolls his eyes.
You catch the way his lip turns up into a smirk when he sets down the tray of cookies on the coffee table. 
“I’m so sorry my precious girlfriend, whom I care so deeply about, how can I ever repay you?”  
It’s go time. Grabbing the pillow, you aim and whack him over and over as he falls onto the couch, his arms up in protest, but his laughter is still loud enough to seep into your ears. “Not the face! I’m too beautiful to die this young!” 
“I,” whack. “hate,” you huff and raise the pillow above your head. “you,” whack. “so much!” 
He somehow grabs the pillow, pulling it towards him. But with his strength, he accidentally pulls you forward, causing you to fall onto his chest. Like on instinct, his arms wrap around you tightly to stop you from falling off of the couch. 
You feel his breath on your ear as he lets out a chuckle and it makes a tingle run up your spine.
“I know you love me.” 
You’re up in a flash, using all of your strength to push him off of the couch and onto the floor. 
“AHH!!!”
You snicker at the loud shriek Hyunjin makes. Plopping your bum on the couch, you shoot your fake boyfriend a petty stare as you reach for a cookie and, very slowly, take a huge bite.
Holy shit. You’ve never tasted a cookie so good before. The way the gooey, melty goodness dances in your mouth is so addictive, you barely notice Hyunjin giving you a death glare from the floor.
“What?” you say with your mouth full, reaching for the remote.
“That’s supposed to be our batch,” he sneers nasally, as if he’s Squidward himself. You try not to spit out the food in your mouth.
“Not anymore.” You point the remote at the TV and hit ‘play’. “You can get the next batch.”
three.
– november 10th.
“Can we let go for a bit?” you mumble, causing Hyunjin to look at you. “My hand is getting sweaty.” 
“Oh, sorry,” Hyjnjin gasps, looking down at your hands. He lets go and rubs his palm against his jeans to wipe off the stickiness that has formed.
“Why are we holding hands so early, anyway?” you ask. “I know we’re telling the guys we’re ‘dating’ today, but they’re not even here yet.” 
Hyunjin blinks at you, takes your hand again, and entwines your fingers. “Because we have to make it look believable from a distance.” 
You try not to laugh. “You think they’ll even notice if we’re holding hands?”
He shrugs, locking eyes with the student worker that’s staring in your general direction. He attempts to follow their gaze. It seems like they’re looking at his and your hands. They could also just be waiting for the microwave oven to ding so they can serve someone their bagel. You never know, though.
“I mean,” he gestures to the cafe worker, “if that person notices, then our friends probably will.”
You raise an eyebrow. “I don’t think that person cares.”
“For Hyunjin?” another cafe worker calls.
With your hand still in his, Hyunjin gently pulls you with him to pick up a freshly-made sandwich for you, and bagel for him. He mumbles a ‘thank you’ before grabbing some napkins and heading for the seating area, scooting past students to the table for four he set his backpack on to call dibs. When the college cafe is always packed for lunch, claiming a table was more than necessary.
Hyunjin presses a finger to his chin as he thinks of where to sit, which chair will allow him optimal coupley vibes. After a moment of contemplation, he chooses one of the seats right by the window.
This prompts you to move to the one opposite of him. But before you can sit down, Hyunjin reaches across the table to grab your wrist.
“No! Sit on this side,” he says, gently tugging your arm.
“Why?”
“I told you, we have to make it believable! Remember?”
It’s a perfect plan. If Hyunjin acts as utterly sappy as possible, his and your friends will surely fall for it. What better way to scream ‘lovesick college couple’ than to sit on the same side of the table together? 
Also, how do you hold hands with someone who’s sitting across from you? Spoiler: you don’t.
But for now, you both eat. You plop down on the chair next to Hyunjin, albeit begrudgingly at first, and you end up finishing your sandwich fairly quickly. Hyunjin, however, takes his time. Not because he’s not hungry—he’s starving. But having half a bagel to work his way through is good in case things get awkward later on.
See? Perfect.
Soon enough, Hyunjin catches two familiar heads enter the cafe. He reaches for your hand under the table, lacing his fingers with yours when you take his hand with a sigh. He even considers subtly scooting his chair over to be even closer to you. Something in the dark crevices of his mind keeps begging him to do it. He’s not even sure why, but he scolds at that voice to wait a moment.
His eyes carefully follow Changbin and Jisung as they get out of line. They both wave at him, and he awkwardly waves back before they turn to each other.
After what feels like an eternity, Changbin steps up to the counter to grab two bagels. Then he follows Jisung to your table.
“What’s up, sweetcheeks?” Jisung says.
Hyunjin glances at you and when you look back, you make an expression as if to tell him ‘go on then’. Hyunjin however, decides against that, turning his attention back to the two boys sitting across from them. 
Changbin’s already stuck half of the bagel in his mouth to the point he’s struggling to chew. It’s disgusting, but for some reason it keeps Hyunjin in a trance. When that trance is broken by you swiftly jabbing him in the rib, he winces, glares at you, and looks back over the table. 
“About that,” Hyunjin laughs awkwardly. If he wasn’t already holding your hand, he would have gone for it to try and calm his nerves. 
“What is it?” Jisung asks, ripping a piece of his bagel off and chucking it into his mouth. “You two finally shacking up?” 
Hyunjin sits there stunned, only listening as you groan in disgust. 
“What is wrong with you?” you say.
Jisung smiles and sends a wink to you before leaning back in his seat. “It’s just my talent, baby.” 
Hyunjin keeps his eyes locked on his bag. This is fake, he repeats in his mind after the word ‘baby’ is uttered from Jisung’s lips. Why does it bother him so much? It shouldn’t bother him—it never has before. This isn’t real. It’s just a simple word Jisung has used to refer to literally everyone in your friend group. Hyunjin’s heard worse come from the boy’s mouth. ‘Sweetcheeks’, ‘’bubby wubby’, schmoopy poopy poo’... all Jisung said this time was ‘baby.’
This is fake.
Hyunjin feels you squeeze his hand. He squeezes it back as he finally looks up. You’re looking at him with your eyebrows furrowed, silently asking him what’s wrong.
This isn’t real…
Now his heart burns. He decides to blame it on too much cream cheese on his bagel. 
“What did you want to tell us?” Changbin tries to say as he gulps down his bagel before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 
Hyunjin glances over at you, and then back to his friends. He raises your enjoined hands. 
“So… we’re dating!” 
Changbin nearly chokes on his bagel at Hyunjin’s words. He looks up slowly, following your and Hyunjin’s arms up to where your hands meet, and he nods once. “Oh. Well, damn.”
Jisung, on the other hand, takes a moment longer to process the news. But when he does, his jaw slowly drops and he takes in a sharp breath. “Oh. My. GO—”
“Yah, shut up!” Hyunjin leans over across the table to slap a hand over Jisung’s mouth.
“…God,” the younger boy finishes his sentence quietly, his voice muffled.
Hyunjin maintains his stare at the younger boy as he slowly begins to pull back. No more screaming, he begs. He’s had enough of it for the rest of the year.
A tension hangs in the air around the four of them. Changbin goes back to carelessly munching on his bagel, and Jisung is gazing at Hyunjin and you, his very fake girlfriend, with an almost-maniacal smile.
“Soooo…” Jisung starts after a minute. Hyunjin can literally feel him gleefully kicking his legs under the table. “Who confessed first?”
Hyunjin pales at the question. He forgot to go over a cover story with you.
Luckily, before he can struggle to give an answer, Changbin swoops in and unknowingly buys him some time.
“Why are you the one who’s happy?” he questions. “I’m the one who won the bet!”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen. “You guys bet on us?!”
“We all did,” Changbin says. “Now Jisung owes half our group ten dollars each.”
“Wait, but we still don’t know who confessed first!” Jisung says.
“Why is that important?” Hyunjin says.
“‘Cause it was part of the bet, too!” 
Hyunjin stills again and looks at you helplessly. He squeezes your hand as if to signal that he needs you to come up with something, and fast. Something about how he had the most magical confession to end all confessions during the first snow that didn’t even happen yet this year.
“I-It was me,” you finally say.
Hyunjin has to stop himself from looking at you in surprise.
Jisung gasps loudly again. He’s so wholly entranced, Hyunjin doesn’t know how lucky he should consider himself for it. “Really?” 
Hyunjin watches as you clear your throat before nodding. You smile in a way that he swears he’s never seen before. You tilt your head and break your eye contact with Jisung to look over at him, then you look back at Jisung. 
“You expect him to confess?” You giggle lightly, gesturing to Hyunjin. “All he talks about is how he wants someone to confess to him.”
The two boys across from them are just nodding in agreement. That is true, Hyunjin thinks. He’s probably been talking about that since he started college, maybe even before. He can’t really describe the feelings that come from somebody confessing their feelings to you. 
“And…” you continue, “after the failed confession with Jisoo, I realised I should take it as a sign to confess.” 
You’re smiling to yourself as you shrug your shoulders, keeping your eyes down on the table. Hyunjin has never seen you act—and act this well. Jisung and Changbin are totally hooked, nodding along to everything you’re saying. They’re like two little children listening to a bedtime story doing everything they can to stay awake. You’ve got them wrapped around your pinky finger.
Hyunjin’s gaze focuses on your hand in his. He brings them to his lap and begins to play with your fingers, letting your words between the boys fade into the background. His mind is still lingering around the thoughts of Jisoo and the failed confession. 
He still isn’t completely sure what happened there. Why his crush, whom he was sure he was in love with, faded so quickly and so suddenly. He never thought falling out of like—or love—with someone could be that easy… but if he thought about it too much, he’d probably worry about the possibility of love. He decides that’s not a thought for now. 
“Woah,” Jisung says, his mouth hanging open. “That’s crazy.”
“That means you owe us another five dollars, genius,” Changbin says.
Jisung quickly turns to Changbin. “Let me grieve for my wallet first!” Hyunjin watches as Jisung rests his head in his hands in despair. 
“Why would you even bet on Hyunjin confessing first?” You can’t help but laugh. “You set yourself up for failure.” 
“Because maybe I had faith in him!!” Jisung exclaims, looking up at you. “I thought he’d have it in him!”
You glance at Hyunjin, smile sheepishly, and look back at the two boys that sit across the table from you.
“Well you should have known him better.”
“Ooookay,” Hyunjin says, suddenly moving to stand. “We, um, we gotta get going.” He turns to you, hoping you get the message. “Right, Y/N?”
You nod quickly and stand up too. “Yeah, we were gonna have a study date together,” you say as you gather your things.
“Okay, have fun,” Changbin says coolly.
“But we were just getting started!” Jisung counters.
Hyunjin lets out a sigh. “We’ll tell you guys everything tomorrow, okay?”
Jisung’s eyes narrow and he raises an eyebrow. The way he’s staring Hyunjin down is making him want to shrink up and hide. 
After a moment of awkwardness on Hyunjin’s part, Jisung opens his mouth to speak. 
“Tell us everything?” 
“Define ‘everything’, Ji,” you respond before Hyunjin has the chance to. 
“Everything means everything,” Jisung drawls out. “Like, come on guys, give us the details! The nitty gritty of it all!” He’s now leaning over the table as he pleads. “I just wanna know all about my two best friends’ relationship! Is that so weird?!” 
You share a look with Hyunjin. You’re giggling, rolling your eyes as you look back over at the boy. “Find your own girlfriend, Ji, don’t live through our relationship.” 
Jisung huffs, falling back into his chair with his arms crossed. “You guys are no fun.”
“We’ll see you tomorrow,” you say, and you both wave at the two boys. Changbin happily responds and Jisung, still grumpy, begrudgingly waves back. 
Luckily, this seems to be enough for you and Hyunjin to leave. Hyunjin swings your hands lightly, fingers still entwined, as the cafe door shuts behind you with a small squeak. 
There is no study date. There wasn’t really any regular ‘date’ planned—not unless the confessing? lying? to your friends counts. 
Regardless, you and Hyunjin look at each other and silently agree. You both deserve a sweet treat after that.
four.
– november 17th.
You wouldn’t dare tell Hyunjin, but once he told you about his “fantastical Friday date idea” earlier this afternoon, you’ve been feeling like a bottle of Coke about to explode.
Sure, he’s been a little crazy about hitting all the stereotypical Christmas romance activities, but this is ice skating! It’s fun and it’s romantic enough to scratch Hyunjin’s itch, but not too romantic. You’re only fake-boyfriend and fake-girlfriend, after all.
“Y/N?”
Hyunjin waves a hand in front of your face, bringing you out of your daze. You must have been staring at the fake icicles for too long.
“Huh? Yeah?” you say, blinking a few times.
He holds up two pairs of rental ice skates, one for you and one for him. “I already paid, let’s go put these on.”
You wander over to the benches where other skaters are lacing up. They make it look so effortless, but you and Hyunjin keep getting your fingers tangled in the long laces. And every time you attempt to stand up, your ankles feel so wobbly that you have to sit back down and tighten them. 
Eventually, your skates feel secure enough that you don’t wobble too much when you do make it to your feet. You look over at Hyunjin, who doesn’t look like he’s faring any better than you. 
“Do you think you can get up?” you ask. You’re starting to figure out how to balance, but you hold on to the edge of a table just in case.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin hums confidently. However, the deer-in-headlights look on his face as he slowly lifts his bum off the bench says otherwise. You’d laugh at him more than you already are if you didn’t do the same.
“Are you sure you can get up?”
“Totally!”
As if to prove you wrong, Hyunjin slowly begins to stand up. When he’s upright, he lifts one hand off the bench, then the other. Then he slowly shuffles one foot after the other in the direction of the rink, until he loses balance and nearly falls into the splits.
You try not to snort at his cry that echoes throughout the rink. Of course, you do the same as you try to follow him and your dear best friend returns the favour.
“HAH! Karma!” Hyunjin points and laughs at you before slipping and falling on his back.
“Hyunjin!” you exclaim, shuffling over to help him up.
“I’m fine!” he tries to reassure you once he’s upright again. He reaches for your hand as he waddles his way to the rink, this time successfully, and with you in tow.
You let out the breath you’re holding once your other hand finds the edge of the wall. Maybe you came into the rink too cocky, or maybe the old couple doing laps around you and Hyunjin made this look easy.
After you recenter yourself—well, after trying to—you look at Hyunjin, who has a death grip on your hand. “Are you okay?”
“Yep!” The boy smiles. “Very fine!” He slowly lets go of your hand, attempting to get away from the wall. He’s successful for a few seconds, then he finds himself wobbling again and he quickly grabs onto your arm.
Giggling, you try to shake him off. “Hyun, you’re gonna make me fall, too!”
He doesn’t respond for a beat. When you turn to look back at him, his legs are shaking, but he’s got a stupid smirk plastered on his face. Even when he’s visibly struggling, of course he has to do this.
“Oh, am I?”
You roll your eyes. “Oh, fuck off.”
You try to free your hand again. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter, and he manages to slide his hand down your arm and thread his fingers with yours.
“You’re gonna be wishing you’re holding my hand soon enough,” Hyunjin muses.
“Whatever you say, fake boyfriend,” you sigh sarcastically.
The old couple passes you by again; they seem to be out-skating every couple on the ice by this point. As they go in circles together, they show off their best disco moves as if they were on roller skates instead. The old man, as he swings past you two a second time, makes a heart with his hands behind the old woman, pumping it in the air to the beat of “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber as his wife continues to dance.
You don’t look back at Hyunjin, but you can imagine the stars in his eyes as he watches them. Instead, you pay attention to the way they move their feet. Push out with your right foot, then with your left. Right, left, right, left. With Hyunjin still gripping on tightly to your hand, you attempt to copy it.
“H-Hey!” Hyunjin squeaks from behind you. “What are you doing?!”
“Trying to get off the wall!” you say. You turn your head to look at him briefly. “You want to be a cute fake couple like those two,” you gesture to the old couple, “right?”
He stumbles over a ‘maybe’, but there’s no denying the way he wistfully watches the old man carefully spin the old woman.
You smile fondly. “Then come on. Watch how they move and try to do the same.”
It takes several laps and several more minutes to get into a rhythm. You can’t say that you’re gliding across the ice, but you’re holding your own without clinging to the wall. Barely. Hyunjin, on the other hand, suddenly seems like a natural. His graceful strides make you question if he was feigning clumsiness half an hour ago, or if he was just that good.
You try to catch up to him as you both make a turn and he looks back to check on you. He smiles at you and holds up a peace sign, flashing you a wink—and you freeze. You were already using all your brainpower to remember to keep moving your feet, and just like that, you forget everything you’re doing.
By the time you snap out of your daze, you’re about to crash into Hyunjin. You yelp, flailing as you try to brake. Hyunjin tries to catch you before you fall flat on your face, but you end up pulling him down with you and falling backwards.
Then you realise the position you’re both in. You’re on your back, and Hyunjin is half on top of you. You’re trying to catch your breath, but the way he tries to prop himself up with his elbows somehow sucks the air out of your lungs all over again.
“Hyun, slow down,” you say as he almost slips again. You catch his arms in yours and lose your breath for a third time. “One foot at a time, okay?”
You swear Hyunjin spaces out as you speak—there’s a gleam in his eyes you can’t quite place. But the gleam goes away just as quickly as it came, and he begins to regain his balance enough to stand up.
He holds out his hands for you and you grab on. He then slowly pulls, allowing you to find a way to get up with a pair of blades on your feet.
When you’re nearly upright, you take a wrong step and feel yourself flying backwards. You flail your arms as you try to prepare to land, but you feel Hyunjin’s arm wrap around your waist and pull you in just in time.
For a second, you feel like you’re in a cheesy Disney movie. The moment happened so fast, but feels so slow in hindsight. Now you’re here, your jaw dropped open in surprise, as your hands find their way to Hyunjin’s shoulders. Is this how Cinderella or something felt—
Wait, what the fuck?
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin says. His eyes search yours for any sign of hurt.
You take a beat to respond, nodding rapidly. “Y-Yeah, I’m okay.”
Hyunjin nods once. “Oookay. Do you wanna keep going?”
Right there, you contemplate just packing up and going back to your dorm. Even though the only one staring at you is Hyunjin, it feels like a thousand pairs of eyes are boring into your soul.
However, something in your heart, or maybe your brain, begs you to stay. So you nod.
five.
– november 20th.
Hyunjin stands and leans against the stairrail by the front of the university library. He’s too busy fiddling with his perfectly curated Christmas playlist, fall in love with me (this christmas), to even notice you pull up in your car. So when you honk the horn, he yelps and falls on his butt, then down a couple stairs, before sending daggers your way.
He watches as your passenger side window rolls down slowly and your shit-eating grin becomes clear from behind it. 
“You ready to go?” you ask.
Hyunjin, still glaring at you, slowly nods his head in response. 
“Then get off your ass!” you say. “You’re the one that wanted to go to this!”
He gets up with a dramatic huff and drags himself to the passenger seat of the car. The second he hops in, he leans forward and grabs your aux cord, plugging it into his phone and unlocks his phone, once again showing the Christmas playlist.
Meanwhile, you watch him in amusement. “You want aux?”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes at your sarcasm. But he answers regardless, too excited about the idea of a Christmas tree farm date. Another thing from his bucket list of Christmas dates to check off.
“Of course I want aux!” 
Clicking shuffle, he cheers to himself when the mystical violin intro of “Christmas Tree Farm" by Taylor Swift begins to play. Clicking twice to make the song repeat, he locks his phone before placing it in one of the free cup holders. 
“This is perfect!” He claps to himself, swaying the best he can to the music as he fastens his seat belt. “🎶And I’m somewhere else… just like magic… 🎶”  he sings along.
He looks over at you and you’re watching him again. This time he can’t tell if it’s in amusement or bafflement. “Can we go now?” 
Hyunjin nods, leaning back into his seat with a content smile. “You could’ve started when I got into the car.”
He lets his gaze linger on you for a second. When you look at him, he quickly looks away. Maybe he’s too impatient, but when he looks back at you a moment later to see if you have finally turned your focus to the road in front of you, you’re still staring right at him.
His cheeks begin to feel warm. Your gaze is practically peering into his soul, and you have your heater on full blast—it feels like a sauna in here. It’s not his fault you get cold so easily. It’s also not his fault a little voice in his head is telling him to use it as an excuse to be near you…
No. Bad Hyunjin.
He quickly shoves the thought away into a neat little box, something future Hyunjin will have to deal with. Right now, all present-day Hyunjin cares about is Miss Swift playing through the speakers.
And so he starts humming, which soon turns to quiet singing. Soon enough, the quiet singing soon turns into full-blown yelling of the lyrics. He’s here for the vibe, and the vibe is immaculate. 
“🎶AND YOU WOULD BE THERE TOOOO~!!🎶”
Good Hyunjin!
“Hyun, shut up! I can’t see the road!” you shout, your voice carrying over the music.
Hyunjin throws his head back in feigned agony. “Okayyy, okay!” he groans before bringing it down to quiet singing for the rest of the song.
When the music fades out, it’s silent for a moment. Hyunjin feels his cheeks hurt from how much he’s smiling. When it starts again, he bounces in his seat.
“Again?” you question, bringing his attention back to you. “Can’t we go to the next song?” 
He gasps and shakes his head. “Nuh-uh! It’s for the vibe, Y/N!” He nods slowly to emphasise his point. “The vibe!” 
You nod, your face full of confusion. “And the vibe is…?”
“That we’re literally going to a Christmas tree farm! Do you know how exciting that is?!” Hyunjin turns right to you as you pull up to a stop sign. He almost gets lost in your eyes when you look back at him. “It’s one of the key Christmas dates in the movies! And there’s a whole song about it!” He lets himself ramble on for a minute, trying not to get too lost in his fantasies. Despite his efforts, he soon feels himself about to spiral…
Then you look away.
Hyunjin lets out a sigh as he glances over at you. You’re focused on the road, your eyes flickering around as you wait for a good time to merge lanes. He knows that you only looked away to continue driving, but deep down, he fears that he pushed you away with his babbling.
He just looks down at his lap before he speaks, his voice trembling slightly. “Look, I… I know you hate Christmas, but—” 
“I don’t hate Christmas…” 
Hyunjin is surprised he can hear you with how quietly you’re talking.
“I…” You sigh. “I just don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with this ‘Christmas romance’ thing. Like, what makes it more special than a romance-romance?” 
“Because…” He takes a breath before releasing it. “Christmas is magical.” 
The song ends. He reaches for his phone and his finger hovers over the pause button.
“Hyunnie, you don’t need to stop the—”
He stops the music, ignoring the sigh you let out when you do.
“It’s just…” he starts, then trails off. “I…”
A beat of silence.
“You…?”
Hyunjin looks at you, trying to read your reaction. It’s hard to tell if your furrowed brow is from concentration or confusion.
“Like…” he starts again, then he sighs.
How would he even begin to explain that the warm, fuzzy feeling he gets from Christmas, is one he’s only ever experienced secondhand? How is he supposed to tell you that he hopelessly projects onto an array of chiselled brunet men in cheesy holiday movies without sounding insane? That he dreams of taking walks in the snow and under the Christmas lights and in Christmas tree farms with someone, like all the male leads on the Hallmark channel seem to do? Will it seem naive? Or childish?
At the same time, though, if all these ordinary guys can find love without even trying… who’s to say he can’t, too?
“It’s… like… why wouldn’t you want that, you know?”
But of course, Hyunjin’s feelings are so grand that he can’t find the words to explain it.
You let out a sigh again, a more sympathetic one this time. “I… I guess? I…”
Hyunjin watches you carefully as you find your words. He realises, a few moments later, that he’s holding his breath. Why is he holding his breath? It’s as if this is a big deal. But it’s not. It’s just you.
You shrug, and something in him twists. “I– I don’t know. I just… I can’t see it for myself.”
A thick silence hangs in the air. It seems to taunt Hyunjin, pointing and laughing at him like the playground bully for even daring to open his mouth. He bites his tongue for another moment or two, thinking of a way to lessen the tension. But after that, he can’t bear the silence anymore. 
The song begins again. Maybe he was right to feel like a child.
By the time you park, the mood inside the car is much colder than the weather outside it. Hyunjin shuts the door behind him and lets it slam, even though he knows you’ll be annoyed about it. He shoves his hands inside his jacket pockets and hides himself the best he can in the collar of his coat. 
In a moment, you’re next to him. Your own hands in your pockets as you silently glaze over the mass of trees that seem to go on for miles. You both stand there for an uncertain amount of time, just utterly blown away by the amount of Christmas trees.
In the corner of his eye, Hyunjin notices you hold out your hand in front of him and leave it there. He stares at it wordlessly, and after a moment or two of nothing, you make grabby hand motions at him like a small child.
“What?” he questions quietly. When he finally looks over at you, you’re too busy staring at the lights beyond the entrance to look back.
“Just come on. We’ve got a date to enjoy…” You pause and take a breath.  “Boyfriend.”
A breath hitches in the back of his throat. You merely mumbled that last word, but Hyunjin heard it loud and clear. You begin to bring your hand closer to his again, motioning silently for him to take it, and he mentally curses at himself for how quickly his lips twitch up into a small smile.
Slowly, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, linking your fingers together. He uses every fibre of his being not to beam like an idiot.
“Where do we start?” you say, not really aiming the question at anyone.
Hyunjin shrugs. “I mean, we can start with the Christmas trees…”
His comment earns a chuckle from you, then a light punch to the arm. It’s a pity chuckle, but he’ll take what he can get. “No shit.”
Chuckling too, he gently tugs at your hand. “Come on, the Christmas tree farm awaits.”
Hyunjin squeezes your hand lightly as he leads you to the counter. He slips a five-dollar bill in the donation jar before walking in the farm with you. The golden lights of the welcome arch surround him with warmth, just like the feeling of your hand in his, as he makes a beeline for the rows of Christmas trees.
To Hyunjin, you seem content with him guiding you around all of the large Christmas trees, even when he takes longer than necessary to take in the waft of fresh pine coming from a few of them. He tries to hold back at first, but eventually he stops at a tree and comments on how much prettier it would look with a string of colourful lights and candy canes lining its needles. Then you two stop at the next tree, and he babbles about how fun it would be to have a real tree one year.
He’s sure he has stars in his eyes much brighter than the one he’d put on top of a real Christmas tree. And he’s lucky that it’s just you with him and you allow him to ramble on, nodding along as he does so. Every once in a while, he looks at you for your reaction to something he said, and he catches the small smile on your face. Whether it’s at him or the children who chase each other through the gaps between the trees, he doesn’t care. He’s just happy that you’re happy, and indulging in his silly fantasies.
There’s a relaxing aura about being at a Christmas tree farm that Hyunjin never expected. Well, maybe he should’ve expected this from the movies he’s watched, but experiencing the warm atmosphere himself is different than seeing it on a screen. The trees around you two seem to lift the tension from the car off your shoulders. He feels lighter, more at peace. And, more importantly, so do you.
The sun has dipped below the horizon, making way for strings of lights towards the centre of the farm. Lines of a purple hue dip upward to a point that stands taller than all the pine trees that seem to go on for miles. Maybe there’s something there that Hyunjin missed.
The light glow catches your attention, too, and you start walking closer to it, keeping a hold on his hand. You two weave through the rows of Christmas trees until you happen to pass the last row, and you find a spectacle of sparkling lights. Lines of red and white make a tent shape and meet the purple lights at the top. Beneath them, two reindeer made of wire and golden lights greet you. They almost look like they’re cuddling under the tent of red and white—something about it makes Hyunjin’s heart sing.
“Wow…” he whispers to himself.
And somehow, without realising it, words leave your lips softly. Hyunjin is so in awe of the lights, he barely notices.  “🎶Under the mistletoe…🎶”
He almost doesn’t feel your head lightly rest against his shoulder. The reindeer… why is it reminding him of you two?
“🎶Watching the fire glow…🎶”
The faint melody makes Hyunjin’s ear perk up, causing him to turn and gaze at you. You’re too immersed in the trees and the occasional giggling child running through to even notice you’re quietly singing “Christmas Tree Farm'' to yourself. 
It makes Hyunjin’s heart race just like it did back in the car. However, now, he doesn’t have the car heaters to blame his red cheeks on. He’s thankful you're too absorbed in your own little world to even notice anything going on around you. 
“🎶And telling me, ‘I love you’ …🎶”
It’s like whatever is above is blessing him, letting him in on a little secret, in the form of light snowdrops falling from the sky. They land so delicately on your hair and shoulders and there’s a little flicker in your eyes that Hyunjin can’t ignore.
Never once in his life did he think he would see the first snow with someone. But now that he is, the hopeless romantic in him is screaming at him what he should have known all along.
“🎶Just being in your arms…🎶”
There is no big realisation. There is no big freak-out. There’s nothing to unpack or be scared about when his heart swells just that little bit more than usual. As he’s looking at you—still too oblivious to notice—everything just makes sense. There is no need for perfect, there is no need for the unattainable. 
All he needs is you.
“🎶Takes me back to that little farm…🎶”
He doesn’t need to second guess himself, or try to convince himself of anything. He just knows. All the stories he was told by his parents, the ones he watched in the movies, every little fairytale that he’s held onto his whole life is true.
Maybe it’s not childish, and maybe he didn’t need to chase his fairytale moment at all.
He already has it.
“🎶Where every wish comes true…🎶” 
As you continue to mumble the lyrics to yourself, Hyunjin squeezes your hand, finally bringing your attention back to him. 
“Thank you for being here with me.” He smiles sweetly.
Your returning smile makes his heart do laps. “No, thank you.” 
He squeezes your hand again. You squeeze his back.
six.
– november 23rd.
It’s only when the mass of people leaving your class dissipates that you notice Hyunjin standing out in the hallway waiting for you. He’s leaning up against the wall, focused on his phone. When he finally looks up and sees you, his smile grows and he pockets his phone, holding a hand out to you.
You raise your eyebrow and glance at his hand for a second too long before he makes grabby hands at you. A giggle escapes your lips. “Why do you want to hold my hand so badly?” You take his hand before he can answer.
“Because my dearest and best girlfriend in the world, it’s time for another date,” he muses, skipping slightly and rocking your entwined hands in a more exaggerated fashion. 
Humming and nodding your head, you lean into him slightly. “What are we going to do?”
He shrugs. “I was thinking we go to the park close to campus? Since the snow has settled and everything, we can just walk around for a couple hours until I have to go to class.”
It’s then that you register that Hyunjin called you his girlfriend. Not his fake girlfriend, just his girlfriend. You don’t do anything to correct him right now.
Instead, you look up at him, a pout gracing your lips. “But I was going to studyyyy.”
Hyunjin just shoots you a doubtful look back. “Oh, really?”
“Uh-huh!” you whine. The professor of the class you just got out of kept hinting at a pop quiz next session—considering that you failed the last pop quiz, you really didn’t want to fail a second one.
Nodding slowly, Hyunjin still looks sceptical. “Riiiight, okay.”
“I’m serious! We’re graduating soon, I can’t flunk out now!”
Hyunjin nods again. “Okaaaay, but you have…” he counts with his fingers on his free hand, “five days until then!” He stops in the middle of the walkway, stepping in front of you and taking not one, but both your hands in his. “Come onnnn, please? It’s just one day! And it snowed! It’s the perfect day to not study!”
When you respond with a blank stare, it seems like Hyunjin is forced to take drastic measures. So he tries one more very convincing line. “I’ll make you a hot chocolate when we get home! I know how much you love hot chocolate. Pleeeease?”
Something about the way his bottom lip juts out and his eyes twinkle with hope makes you want to cup his cheeks in your hands and… punch him. Yes, exactly, punch him right in the face. Hit him where it hurts.
But alas, despite your growing urge to lovingly ki…ck him off the fifth floor of the university library, you know even that won’t stop him begging you to ditch studying. So you sigh.
“Make it with milk, not water; whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top. Don’t forget the marshmallows.” That quiz will have to wait another day, but seeing the wave of happiness and relief wash over Hyunjin’s face right before he crushes you in a hug makes it worth it.
“Deal!”
The park is less crowded than you thought it would be. In your experience as a college student, you thought more of you would use the snow as a way to escape the stress of upcoming deadlines. Yes, you had to be bribed with hot chocolate to be here, but still. If you know, you know.
Regardless, you’re not complaining that you and Hyunjin basically have the whole park to yourselves.
“We should sit under there,” Hyunjin says, pointing to a cedar tree. Never mind the blanket of snow covering its needles that could fall on your heads.
You look up at him, your face sour. “Is that really a good idea?”
“Oh… right,” he says sheepishly, then points to a bench several feet away from it. “How about there?”
You nod and let him drag you there, ignoring the pathways and cutting through the grass. You take it as an excuse to hear the snow crunch underneath your shoes.
As you both approach the bench, Hyunjin slowly lets go of your hand to scurry ahead of you and wipe the thin layer of snow from its surface. It earns a cry from him at how cold it is, causing you to shake your head fondly. 
“Why not get your gloves out?” you ask.
“I forgot I had them!” He plops down on the bench with a frown and pats the spot next to him. “Sit.”
You take a seat, pulling your backpack off your shoulders and onto your lap. Reaching in the front pocket, you blindly search for his and your gloves. When your fingers graze the soft fabric, you pull both pairs out and hand Hyunjin’s pair to him.
“Thank you,” he mumbles, hurrying to slip his gloves on his hands. Once you do the same, he holds his hand out to you.
You furrow your brow at him. “We just held hands earlier?”
Hyunjin pouts. “But my hands are cold.”
“Is that not what the gloves are for?”
“Y/N…” he pulls out the bottom lip and puppy dog eyes again. Oh no…
Your eyes guiltily flicker between his outstretched hand and his face. His stupid, pouty face that is making your heart feel things you don’t want to think about. God..
“It’s coooold,” Hyunjin whines. “And it’s a coupley thing to snuggle when it’s cold, right?”
Fake couple. But you don’t correct him out loud.
“Okay, okay,” you huff, taking his hand in yours. He smiles and entwines your fingers together.
You and Hyunjin sit in silence for a while hand-in-hand as you take in the serenity. Sounds of children giggling faintly ring from the other side of the small park, and the blanket of powdery snow in front of you is still fresh and untouched. You feel so at peace here, you don’t notice you’re scooting closer to Hyunjin.
Wait. You’re scooting closer to Hyunjin. And you’re leaning your head on his shoulder.
It’s because it’s cold. Yeah. Your bum is freezing and you could use the body heat of a fellow human. It’s like how penguins huddle for warmth in the winter, except you’re not in Antarctica; you’re in a quaint little park on a snowy day with your best friend—fake boyfriend.
And as a good fake boyfriend does, Hyunjin lets go of your hand in response and slips his arm around your shoulders. You feel his cheek gently rest on top of your head. You instinctively wrap an arm around his waist—instinctively? How did you know to do that? What are you doing?
Right, you’re snuggling. Snuggling like any ordinary couple would do. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fake couple; this is how you fake it till you make it, as they say. So you just stay like this for a few minutes. Hyunjin’s making for a great cuddler, anyway. Is he worried about not being as good as the guys in whatever movies he watches? He shouldn’t. Because he’s gentle and warm and sweet and now he’s kissing the top of your head.
Wait, what are you doing?
Your eyes fly wide open. You don’t move, but suddenly Hyunjin’s too warm and you feel suffocated in his arms. Now, all you can think of is any excuse to get up.
As if the universe was answering your prayers, a small tennis ball rolls by your feet. You look at the light green ball, then the dog leaping through the snow to chase it, then a kid you assume is its owner, far away but visibly out of breath. Letting go of Hyunjin, you bend down to grab the ball, running a few feet away before chucking the ball in the kid’s direction.
After watching the dog dash after the ball for a moment, you feel something cold splat against your back. You gasp in surprise and turn to see a frowning Hyunjin.
“You left me for a dog!” he whines childishly. He tries not to smile, but lets out a giggle at the end of his sentence.
You stare at him with your jaw dropped. “He’s cuter than you!”
He gasps loudly in offence and chucks another snowball at you.
“Who’s cuter now?!”
You scoop up some snow and toss it at his chest. “Still the dog!”
He gets up and runs straight for you. You squeak and run away, looping around the cedar tree close to the bench to try and slow him down. He quickly catches up with you, and you soon feel his arms wrap around you and pull you back. You let out a squeal at the move.
“You thought you could get away with that, huh?!” he says in between giggles. You’re just as giggly.
“Let me go!”
“Not until you say I’m cuter than that dog!”
He looks at you and you look up at him. He’s trying to pout at you, but you’re both laughing too much to take him seriously. But there’s something in his eyes, or maybe in his silly back-hug, that feels different… but you don’t want to think about that right now.
Instead, you smile and poke his cheek with one finger.
“Okay, fine. But only just a little.”
seven.
– december 1st.
Hyunjin feels himself buzzing from excitement as he guides you, hand-in-hand, through the busy streets of downtown. He would never admit it outright, but ever since you came up with the idea of fake Christmas dates, watching the switching on of the Christmas lights was high on his list. He’s dreamt of counting down the seconds until holiday lights illuminate the city, and has watched them alone. Just… not with someone. Not with someone who means as much to him as you do. 
He can’t tell what’s louder: his heart thumping when your hand squeezes his as you both tuck and swerve through the busy crowd, or the crowd itself. After his realisation a few weeks prior,  there’s something new and addicting about how your hand feels in his—like they were pieces of a puzzle, like they were destined to fit each other. He can’t get enough of it.  He wonders if Christmas romance movie characters feel their heart beating as fast as his when he’s around you. And he wonders if it makes your heart race just as much, if there’s even a slight possibility that you look at him the same way he’s grown to look at you. 
A slight tug on his hand pulls him out of his daze for just a moment. He looks back at you, who points excitedly at the giant Christmas tree in the heart of the plaza you two had just walked past. Smiling fondly, he follows you to get a closer look.
Hyunjin stops next to you, looking up at the huge, sparkling tree in front of you. He takes a moment to marvel at the bright lights strung across the expanse of the tree, the tinsel hanging from each branch,  and red and gold ornaments sprinkled throughout. The tree stands at such a great height, Hyunjin can barely see the shining gold star perched atop it. 
As his gaze drifts downward, across the tree again, his eyes fall on you standing by his side. In that moment, under the glittering lights bouncing off the small ornaments, Hyunjin thinks you’ve never looked prettier. You’re looking up at the tree in wonder, twinkles in your eyes as you take in the sights. You’re unaware of the way Hyunjin beholds you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever seen. All the glowing lights surrounding you go dim in comparison every time you smile. 
To Hyunjin, you’re the sun, and he’s just a star in your orbit, circling around you and living for every moment your warm light shines on him. Without you, his world would be cold and dark, just as it was before you came into his life. 
Eventually, he tears his eyes away from you, focusing once again on the tree. Between the strings of bulbs, he sees flashes of a future he can picture with you: your first kiss, waking up to you in the morning every day, your wedding day and carrying you over the threshold of your home when you’re back from your honeymoon. He can see it all. Three kids, two dogs, and a hamster, family vacations, their friends being honorary uncles. 
Maybe he’s getting ahead of himself, but when he’s with you, he can’t help it. You are his forever and a day. 
Every time he steals a glance at you, you’re in a world of your own. You’re so focused on looking up at the pre-hanging lights that you let him drag you along without much thought. Not that he minds much, himself. The little sparkle in your eyes as you look around in awe is utterly adorable. Not to mention that you’re willingly out with him in matching Christmas sweaters—maybe reluctantly at first, but willingly nonetheless. He never thought he’d get you to agree, but now that you did, the oversized tacky sweater somehow makes you look even cuter than he imagined.  
He can’t decide whether or not to scream to the world about how precious you are, or if he wants to wrap you up in a blanket and keep you all to himself. He thoroughly believes the world deserves to see your brightness, but at the same time, he only wants you to smile at him. He wants to be the reason you smile so wide your cheeks hurt, he wants to be the reason to laugh so hard you fall off your seat. 
Hyunjin’s focus returns to in front of him, a small content smile playing at his lips. Not because of you (mostly), but because he already knows the perfect place to watch the switch on. He’s had this planned for weeks now—another thing he will never admit.
Ever since the announcement of the light switch on came on social media a few weeks back, Hyunjin has been on a special mission. Every weekend since then, he’s sneaked off to the city to find the best spot possible to see the lights in all their glory. (He had told you that he had been helping Changbin with some stuff; whether or not you believed him was another story). Somewhere not too crowded, somewhere not too far away. Something perfect—something you deserve. 
That’s when he discovered a small cafe, its entrance hidden in a small alleyway wedged between two buildings. He was surprised at first that it was open since there were no signs on the street to indicate its existence, apart from the small menu board at the bottom of the metal staircase. 
As he guides you into the alleyway, he hears you hum in confusion. Feeling your hand tense up slightly in his, he stops and turns around. 
You’re looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, concern drawn all over your face. With a light squeeze of his hand, Hyunjin sends you a smile. 
“Do you trust me?” he says barely above a whisper, squeezing your hand once more. 
Hyunjin’s smile widens as you don’t even hesitate to nod your head at him.
“Always.” 
Before you get the chance to speak, you’re already up on the roof of the small coffee shop. It’s surprisingly empty with how busy the streets are down below. It makes Hyunjin wonder why there aren’t more people up there, not that he’s complaining.
Even though you’re both out of the crowd, Hyunjin still doesn’t let go of your hand just yet. He’s too content in the way it feels right now, and he wants to soak up every moment of it, because he doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance to again. He could play the clingy card to buy himself more time—it’s something he’s done before when he was sick, and it’s worked—but it doesn’t feel quite right this time. This was different from his usual antics somehow. It feels natural, it feels right. But at the same time, he wants to jump around and do some somersaults, much like his heart in his chest is.
He quickly hides the way his smile drops when you let go of his hand and runs over to the metal railings, gasping at the better view of the hung-up lights. 
When you turn back to him, it’s like everything has disappeared around him and all he can see is you and your smile. He forgets how to breathe, he feels faint, and he wants nothing more than to wrap you up in his arms and to kiss you all over your pretty face. He can’t do that, of course, but will he do it in his dreams later that night? Probably. Most definitely. 
He almost misses it when you speak to him, your smile growing by the second. 
“This is great Hyun!” You’re bouncing in place. “How did you find this place?” 
He shrugs and looks everywhere except in your eyes to try and calm his heating cheeks. 
“Oh you know, I just stumbled upon it.”
He can’t help himself when you hold your hand out to him. “Let’s watch the lights together.” 
So he takes it, letting your warmth dance around his hand in a mix of comfort and giddiness. He’s sure you haven’t noticed the new effect you’ve had on him, too oblivious to the world around you to know when someone is falling head over heels for you. 
There’s a part of Hyunjin’s brain that tries to remind him of the deal. A reminder that all of these events are not real, just as he wanted. However, Hyunjin decides to push these thoughts down into a little box, lock them up with a lock and key, and bury it in his mind.
The countdown is like a faint blur in his ears, the chanting taking a backseat to the person right in front of him. All he can hear is your soft counting, all he can feel is his pulse racing in his fingertips.
“Five, four, three,” Hyunjin squeezes your hand.  “Two…” You squeeze it back. “One.” 
At the flip of a switch, a blaze of colourful lights brighten up the town. But to Hyunjin, even they don’t compare to the awestruck sparkle in your eyes that sets his heart aflame.
eight.
– december 7th.
Since it’s the week before finals, Hyunjin insisted this past weekend that you two have dates every day this week. One, you suggested to stop the dates so you could study and he said no. That’s an understatement, actually—he practically got on his knees and begged you not to do that. Like, shook-you-by-the-shoulders, one-step-away-from-giving-up-his-americano begged.
It’s funnier now that it’s over, but you’ve never seen him more desperate for anything. Weird. Maybe he ate too many of Felix’s brownies that day.
When Hyunjin arrives at your dorm for your daily date today, the first thing he tells you is, and you quote, “Sit your ass down and wait until I finish setting up.” So, not wanting to deal with his whining today, you do exactly as you’re told for once.
You let yourself sink into your couch as your eyes lazily follow Hyunjin around. He goes in and out of your kitchen, places his laptop on the coffee table in front of you, and opens it. The screen lights up, prompting him to input his password, but instead of doing so, he heads straight back into the kitchen without a word. 
Huffing silently, you lean forward and type in his password: the month and day of both of your birthdays. It takes a second, but when the screen loads into an already-opened, paused, full-screen video of a fireplace, you furrow your brows.
“Hyun? What's this?” you call out to him. 
Almost instantly, you hear him groan in response. Then he appears at the kitchen door and stares at you with his arms crossed. “I told you to sit down.”
“Oops?” You smile at him sheepishly. “I’m a rule-breaker.”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes before disappearing back into the kitchen. “A freak is what you are,” he grumbles.
You gasp. “HEY! I HEARD THAT!”
“THAT’S THE POINT!” he yells back from the kitchen.
Getting up from your seat, you make your way over to the kitchen, shivering slightly from the light chill in the air. You stay at the doorway, not wanting to sacrifice your feet to the cold tiles of your kitchen floor. Your eyes land on Hyunjin’s frame faster than you’d like to admit, and he’s standing over two mugs as he places  tiny marshmallows into each of them. 
“I thought I said sit down,” he says, not looking in your direction. You don’t want to know how he knows you’re there; you didn’t even move from the doorway. Maybe he saw you staring, maybe he just knows you that well… you hope it’s the second one.
“I couldn’t sit still,” you huff, bringing your arms across your chest. 
He picks up the two mugs, takes a few steps towards you, and gestures to them with his head. 
“Take these,” Hyunjin says as he hands them over. “Go sit back down, I’ll get some blankets.” 
“M’kay.” Your voice comes out higher than usual. Praying he doesn’t notice, you quickly cover it up with a cough. “I mean, yep. Mhm.”
You hold your breath as you shuffle back over to the couch, exhaling deeply as you place the two mugs on the coffee table next to Hyunjin’s laptop. It’s when you sit down that you notice the whipped cream and drizzle of chocolate syrup he added to top both of your drinks. As your gaze follows the steam lightly swirling out of the mugs, you can’t help but smile. He remembered your favourite.
Not even a minute later, he’s back, your duvet in his arms. Before you can ask why, he throws it down on top of you. 
“ACK!” you shriek. “I thought—” you attempt to speak as you wrestle your way out the duvet, “you were getting blankets!” 
“I got a blanket, didn’t I?” 
“But why the big one?!”
You feel the couch dip as Hyunjin sits down beside you. He helps free you from the duvet before he straightens it out, waving it once and letting it drape down across your laps. 
“So we can do this.” 
You just keep your eyes down on the duvet for a moment. It’s more than enough to cover both your and his legs, which you guess a throw blanket wouldn’t have been able to accomplish.
When you finally look up, though, Hyunjin is smiling at you tenderly. You catch yourself holding your breath again as his soft gaze finds yours. For a second, the brown hue in his eyes reminds you of the chocolate drizzle in your hot chocolate—comforting, sweet—maybe too sweet for some, but just the right amount for you. Has the brown in his eyes always sparkled like it is now?
Wait… what are you doing?
“Oh, u-um…” You blink a few times to try to bring yourself back down to earth. “Then this works, thanks, Hyun.” You take a mug from Hyunjin when he hands one over to you. “So what exactly are we doing?”
“We’re going to cuddle and drink hot cocoa by the fireplace,” Hyunjin hums, nodding proudly before taking a long sip of his drink.
You take a second to process his words, then you glance at Hyunjin’s laptop screen. “But that’s YouTube?” 
He turns to look at you and blinks. If you could reverse time, this would be the perfect time to do it. 
“Well, I know that, but we don’t have a fireplace.” He sighs. “This is the best we got.” 
He leans over, clicks ‘play’ on the video, and the delicate crackling of fire emanating from his laptop begins to fill the room. Maybe it’s not a real fireplace, but the heat you’re feeling from him sitting so close and the comforting sounds make you feel plenty warm.
Hyunjin settles back into his spot on the couch, picking up his mug with one hand. You lift up your mug, too, and softly clink it with his, taking a sip together as well. You’re so engrossed in the sweet, creamy drink melting in your mouth, that you don’t notice Hyunjin has casually slipped his arm around your shoulders until another few sips later. You lean your head against him and do nothing to shake his arm off, even though a tiny part of your brain screams at you to make it stop.
You’ve lost track of how much time has passed, but when the hot chocolates are finished, the crackling has faded into the background and the sound of Hyunjin’s faint snoring fills your ears. It’s enough time and space to let your brain wander. Iit wanders to the way Hyunjin’s cologne is a constant in your life, the way you always know where he is and where he’s been. It wanders to how every piece of clothing you own, and your whole life, is in some way infused with the essence of Hyunjin. 
Moving your head ever-so-slightly so you don’t wake him, you let your eyes gaze at the blond-headed boy for a moment too long. You can’t understand why he tries so hard to chase after perfection, when that’s already what he is. The way his eyelashes lay across his cheeks and the way his nose scrunches up at something in his dream—you can’t help but smile at the boy who has you wrapped up in his arms. 
It made you wonder when the feeling of his arms around you began to feel different. Hyunjin is Hyunjin, your best friend and nothing more than that. This fake dating thing is just that—fake. It’s a made-up relationship, a scheme to give Hyunjin what he’s always wanted: a college Christmas romance. One that started to feel a little too real to you.
There shouldn’t be feelings involved when it comes to fake dating. Everyone knows that. You can count all the romcoms you’ve ever seen on only one hand, but even you know that rule. But the way Hyunjin hugs you tighter in his sleep causes not only your heart, but your head to race as well. You’re suddenly too warm, the laptop is too loud, and you feel like the weight of the world has just fallen on your shoulders. 
Your breathing begins to pick up, but you’re pulled back out of it when you feel Hyunjin move beside you. Your eyes find his half-opened ones; he looks like he could fall back asleep at any moment. 
“Are you okay?” he mumbles before letting out a yawn, his arms still secure around you. 
You hum, pretty much shoving your head into his chest, your eyes focused on his laptop. “I’m okay, Hyunnie.” 
Luckily, the sleepy Hyunjin doesn't question it. He just pulls you closer and places a kiss on your hairline, sending your mind into another spiral. 
“Just take a nap.” You feel him yawn again. “Just enjoy this time.” 
When Hyunjin’s snore fills your ears once more, you let out a breath and do your best to blink away the tears swelling up in your eyes. 
This was a big realisation for your brain to handle on a Tuesday night. And you're not sure what to do about it apart from what you do best—ignore it and hope it goes away. 
nine.
– december 14th.
Before anyone can even say anything, Hyunjin knows he should be focusing on his art theory class. However, as he’s laying down across his desk with his head resting on his arm, he can’t help but stare at his phone in despair. 
It had been seven days—one week—since the magical movie night at your dorm. Since then, all of his messages had gone unresponded—actually, you responded exactly one time: the morning after when Hyunjin had asked about getting breakfast. You were busy. 
He mindlessly unlocks his phone, opening his message chain with you. Still no response or even a ‘read’ alert from you at the bottom. Deep down, he knows you haven’t even clicked on his messages if there is no ‘read’ alert, just like how his fridge won’t magically fill up with food if he doesn’t restock it… unless you turned read receipts off entirely, but that’s too much effort for you to do. 
He lost count of how many times he told you in high school to turn it off when you were in fights with your friends. You’d keep opening their messages and the fights would only continue when they saw you were ignoring them. You always brushed him off saying that there was no point, that they’d still know anyway. 
But here he is, staring at his phone, wishing for something, anything from you. At this point, he would take a ‘read at 3:25pm’ over the vacancy his inbox seems to taunt him with.
He only realises that class is over when the mass of people in the lecture hall scramble around him to leave. Hyunjin picks up his head from his table and sits there a moment longer. 
The other students make a beeline for the door, the professor glances at Hyunjin still sitting there and shakes their head, before following the students out the semi-open door, closing it behind them. Even with everyone’s presence in the room gone, it still feels just as empty as it did twenty minutes before. 
His phone lights up and a little bit of joy enters his heart, only for it to be smashed into pieces when the words become clear. 
Binnie : YO !! 
Binnie : free to get lunch or you with y/n? 
Hyunjin responds with a simple ‘i’m free.’ He locks his phone and shoves it into his pocket before throwing his messenger bag over his shoulder, dragging himself out of the lecture hall to wherever Changbin and the gang are. 
Hyunjin can hear them before he sees them. 
Jisung’s incessant screams and Changbin’s laughter are both way too loud for Hyunjin to put up with in that moment. But still, he wonders, following the sounds as they grow closer and closer and the two clowns (said with affection) become clear. 
Jisung’s too busy running around the picnic table, screaming about something with Changbin laughing so hard he has tears streaming down his face. Next to him is a silent-as-ever Chan, watching in amusement with a dopey smile present on his lips. 
It goes silent when Hyunjin drops his bag with a thud on the table. It makes him wince and the stares from three of his friends makes him wish the world would swallow him whole. It’s still silent when he throws one leg over the bench and sits himself down, bringing the other leg in before using his bag as a pillow.
Three, two, one… he thinks.
“What’s up with you?”
There it is. Hyunjin ignores the question as he tries to push his head further into his bag.
“Hyun?” Chan’s voice is softer than the other two boys. Whilst he knows the other two mean well, it’s a lot more comforting when it’s coming from Chan. “Are you okay?” 
It takes all of his strength to pick his head up off of the table and look at the eldest of the four boys. Hyunjin feels as if his default look is to frown and when the other two boys clock on, Jisung is sat down next to him in a flash. 
“Bro,” Changbin starts. “You look as if your mum told you you’d never see Kkami again.” 
This clown (again said with affection) really did not have the slightest indication of how to comfort someone. There was something unique about Changbin, he had heart, but brains? That and reading the room wasn’t always his strong suit. 
“I think what he means is,” Chan rephrases, “you look really down in the dumps. What’s up, buddy?” There he goes, talking as if he’s seventy when he’s barely twenty-six.
“Y/N hasn’t spoken to me in a week…” Hyunjin mumbles, letting his head fall back onto his bag. “Do you think she hates me?” he asks, but to the trio it comes out more like, ‘o u inks smates me?’ 
He isn’t sure who places a hand on his back—he assumes it’s Jisung with the angle. All he knows is he can feel a cold hand just barely pressing through his hoodie. 
“Maybe she’s busy?” Jisung says, patting Hyunjin’s back lightly. “She’ll send her usual emoji update when she’s ready.” 
Hyunjin only picks up his head again so his friends can hear him. “She hasn’t even read any of my messages.” 
It’s quiet, too quiet. When he sits up to look at them and Jisung’s hand falls from his back, Hyunjin’s frown just enhances. The boys look at each other, frowns present on their own faces. Hyunjin doesn’t think they completely understand the situation. But then again, neither can he.
“What do I do?” he says. 
“She’s probably busy with exams…” Jisung blurts out, looking at the two boys sitting across from them before looking back at Hyunjin. 
“Yeah!” Changbin pipes in. “Plus her internship! That’s probably keeping her busy too, especially since it’s close to Christmas!” 
Hyunjin looks over at Chan, he’s silent like usual. He has a sad smile on his face, like he wants to say something to calm Hyunjin’s worries, but he’s just not exactly sure what those words are. 
“Thanks guys…” Hyunjin does his best to smile.
Jisung brings him in for a tight hug. Even though he normally would have, Hyunjin doesn’t try to push him away. The coos from the two other boys make his heart feel just a bit warmer. 
– december 15th.
Hyunjin should have called first. But with how silent you’ve been over the past eight days, he knew you wouldn’t have picked up. So here he stands, two pizza boxes in one hand as he tries to pluck up the courage to finally knock on your door after standing outside it for god knows how long. 
He wonders if you’ll smell the pizza from inside and open the door yourself so he wouldn’t have to knock. A boy can dream. 
He clenches his fist so hard it turns white. Takes a deep breath, releases it. Takes another one. He thinks about how he’ll knock on the count of three—but then procrastinates even more by thinking about if he means he’d do it on three or after three. 
In actuality, he doesn’t need to do anything when the sound of your door unlocking makes him smile slightly. He knew you’d smell the pizza. 
When the door opens up wide enough, you jump back slightly in surprise. Hyunjin can barely believe himself either. He’s actually here… in all his anxious glory.
“Hyunjin…” 
Your face visibly pales, causing Hyunjin to frown. Did you really not want to see him that badly? Over a week of nothing and this is how you react when you see him again? 
He looks down at your outfit. You’ve got your puffer coat on and your bag draped across your chest, sending the puffiness out in awkward directions. “Where are you going?” 
“I– I’ve got class,” you stutter. 
“Oh.” Hyunjin’s shoulders drop. 
He motions to the pizza boxes in his hand and smiles sheepishly. He watches how your eyes glance at them before darting off in another direction.
“I thought we could chill and have pizza, like normal,” he explains, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I forgot you had class today and…” Hyunjin pauses. He takes another deep breath as he watches you, waiting to see if you’d finally look at him. “I was just wondering if we could talk… it’s been a while you know?” 
One of your hands comes up to fiddle with the hair behind your left ear. Hyunjin takes note of how you bite at your bottom lip. 
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” 
Hyunjin blinks. You’re still avoiding his gaze.
“Can we at least talk quickly?” he asks. He can’t tell if he’s grateful or not when you open the door wider for him to enter. 
“Okay. Just make it quick.”
He shuffles inside, placing the pizza boxes down on the coffee table that once held his laptop as their makeshift fireplace. Turning back to you, Hyunjin now sees how your hands are shoved into your pockets. Your coat is zipped all the way up so you can hide your face in your collar. 
“Where have you been?” The question escapes his lips before he can even register it. 
He’s watching you for every single change in your body language, every little muscle movement. Anything that will clue him into what the heck is happening. 
“I’m sorry,” you say, barely above a whisper. “I’ve been busy with schoolwork, and my internship is piling more on me because Christmas is coming up.” Just like Changbin had thought. But even then, it didn’t feel enough. 
“You could have said something,” Hyunjin sighs. “Anything. Even just an emoji like you usually do when you’re cramming.” 
He’s surprised when you have nothing to say. You’re just hiding in your coat collar and he can see the distressed look on your face. Hyunjin has never felt more confused in his life, and here you are, doing nothing to help. He feels as if he’s questioning every life choice he’s made up to this point. 
“Are you okay?” he speaks again after another moment. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 
Hyunjin feels like tiny needles are being pricked into his heart, and your silence is pushing them deeper. The more seconds that tick by, the more his heart crumbles in his chest.
He watches as you take a deep breath in. He watches you as you exhale. 
“About that…” You gulp and take another breath. “We should stop this… we should break up.” 
Hyunjin can hear the glass house around him break into hundreds and thousands of little pieces. He’s sure that in all that rubble is his heart—pierced and splinted, bleeding out from each wound. Yet all that he can do is blink. 
“...What?”
For the first time in his life, he cannot read a single expression or feeling on your face. It’s like he’s been placed in the middle of the desert; no map, no compass, nothing. He’s lost, afraid, and so, so alone. And you’re just standing there, a mere few feet away from him, unable to even look him in the eye.
“We should end our agreement.” You’re fiddling with the strap on your bag as if to keep your mind from spiralling or wondering. “Look, everything with class and my internship is getting busier, and you wanted Christmas dates, right?”
You gulp again. Hyunjin is just silent. He can’t even nod.
“You got what you wanted. You got the dates and to experience a Christmas romance.” You finally look him in the eye, and it’s like one final stab to his heart. “So we should end this now, so we can both focus on the things we need to.” 
You’re finally staring at each other, battling it out silently for who can keep their hold the longest. It’s torture and Hyunjin’s never felt pain like this… it pierces into his stomach so bad that he wants to throw up. 
“Hyunjin—” 
Before you can even finish your sentence, you’re cut off by the sound of the door unlocking. Your eyes widen in surprise as Yeri, your usually missing roommate, walks through the door. She has a suitcase behind her, probably back from whatever adventure she’s been on with her girlfriend. 
You seem glad to see her back in one piece, but god, did she have the worst timing. It makes Hyunjin want to scream. Why now, of all times, did she have to decide to come home? Right when Hyunjin’s in the middle of being ‘dumped’ by the person he’s in love with?
Yeri looks up in shock, takes one of her airpods out of her ear, and grins sheepishly. 
“Oh, I’m sorry…” Her eyes flicker between you and Hyunjin. She’s not sure what to make of the awkward atmosphere, but Hyunjin doesn’t blame her. “I’ll…” She motions to her bedroom door to insinuate the end of her sentence, before dragging her suitcase behind her. 
When the soft click of her door closing behind her is heard, you turn your attention back to Hyunjin. You open your mouth to speak, but before you can utter a word, he shakes his head. 
“No.” He doesn’t even let you begin. 
He wants to scream and cry out, not only in confusion, but in what Hyunjin can’t tell is anger or just pure sadness. He doesn’t, partly because he knows Yeri is within earshot, but also because he doesn’t know if he has the energy. His mind is making so many laps and leaps trying to figure out everything that he just wants to lie down.
He gasps for air. His eyes feel misty and he wants to do nothing but run. 
“I get it,” he mutters, looking away. “You can have what you want.”
Hyunjin says no more, leaving the discarded pizzas on the coffee table. He ignores the way his heart stings when you don’t call after him. He doesn’t even bother to wait for the elevator, choosing to rush down the stairs to get out of the building as fast as possible whilst wiping his cheeks haphazardly with the back of his sleeve. 
He once again wants the world to swallow him whole—or for him to sleep for the rest of the Christmas season. Because, honestly, none of it seems worth it anymore.
ten.
– december 18th.
How is it possible that three days can feel like an eternity? 
‘We should end this.’ Your voice repeats in Hyunjin’s brain in a constant loop. It torments him when he’s awake and stays to haunt him in his dreams. ‘We should break up.’ 
The first day felt like torture. All he wanted to was rant about you, to you. Sure, he could go to his other friends, but when you’re his first choice… what could he do? He couldn’t call or text you now that he wants to more than over. He wanted to cry at the sound of your voice and beg you to reconsider—to go on real dates with him—to have a real Christmas romance. 
‘You got what you wanted.’
Day two was just as hard. When he hadn’t blown up the group chat over some random thing in over twenty-four hours, this was when his friends got worried. So they blew up his phone instead with a mixture of concern and heartfelt care, and whatever you call Jisung’s messages. Hyunjin decided to ignore them, but kept checking his phone on the off-chance he’d get a text from you. Eventually, he turned over his phone and rolled over in his bed, shutting his eyes and hoping the world would disappear for a bit. 
‘You got the dates, you got to experience a Christmas romance.’
Now here he sits, on day three, in the trio’s shared off-campus apartment. He only begrudgingly got out of bed when Jisung threatened to start screaming outside his door. He’s lying sideways across the couch, his feet propped up against the armchair. He hasn’t washed his hair in too long, he vaguely thinks a family of birds might nest in it someday, and his grey sweats have a big blotch of brown on one leg. He spilled hot Americano on himself when he got home after your breakup, but he didn’t have the energy to change out of them.
He knows he shouldn’t be calling it a breakup when you two were never really together. But when his feelings are completely and utterly real, it really feels like one. He feels his eyes start to become misty again, and he shoves his head into his sweater paws as he tries to bury himself in the sofa more. 
‘So we should end this now.’
Chan, Changbin, and Jisung are all watching from the barely-used dining table. They are at a loss for words, they hadn’t thought about the possibility of you and Hyunjin ever breaking up. To everyone in the friend group, you two were set for life, ride-or-dies, the sunshine to the flowers. To them, there was never any possibility of a break up. They just didn’t get it. 
Changbin takes a sip of his protein shake through a bright pink curly straw, and huffs. “This is weird, dudes.” He looks over at the two other boys, who still have their eyes on Hyunjin. “He’s never been like this with anyone.” 
“Y/N isn’t just anyone, though,” Chan responds.
“Yeah,” Jisung sighs, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. His eyes still bore into Hyunjin. “They’re, like, totally made for each other.”  
Hyunjin brings his hands away slightly, sending the best glare he could manage. To the boys, however, it was more pitiful than scary, like a kicked puppy. All they want to do is scoop him up and never let him go until his heart is unbroken.  
“You know I can hear you, right?” Hyunjin asks. “And to be honest, I really don’t like all this mumbling.” 
The boys don’t hold his bad mood against him. He’s upset, frustrated, and they know he’ll apologise when he’s feeling better. Chan takes the lead, opening his mouth to speak before the other two dummies could say anything to make Hyunjin more upset. 
“We’re sorry, we’re just confused on why you guys broke up,” he explains. The other two boys nod their heads as the eldest speaks. “You two have always seemed so perfect for each other.” 
They notice how Hyunjin’s shoulders drop and he goes to hide his face in his sweater paws again. His words come out all muffled and Chan, Changbin, and Jisung all glance at each other to see if any of them understood what he said.
“What was that?” Chan asks. Hyunjin yanks his sweater paws away from his face, turning his head sharply at the boys.
“We never broke up, okay?!”
The trio can now really see how glassy Hyunjin’s eyes have become. They exchange concerned glances with each other, frowns of their own also covering their faces.
“W-Wait. What do you m—” 
Hyunjin cuts Chan off with a hiccup. 
“We— we were never really together... So w-we never really broke up.” 
The boys are stunned, confused and so completely stunned. They don’t know where to even begin to wrap their heads around the confession. But it also leads them to the next question, if it was all fake… why was Hyunjin so distraught now that it was over? 
Now it didn’t take a genius to figure that out, but it was better to hear it from Hyunjin himself.
“Okay,” Chan gulps, “do you want to start from the beginning?” 
So Hyunjin starts from the beginning. He starts off with the confession from Jisoo that was totally not the vibe. He talks about how he went to you to whine about how he was losing his chance for a college christmas romance, to how you suggested he should fake date someone to get the experiences he wanted. To how he had decided you were his perfect person for the task. 
“Why didn’t you just tell us it was fake, man?” Changbin asks, “it wouldn’t have been that much of a deal.” 
Hyunjin sighs, falling back into the chair and letting his head fall backwards so he can look up at the ceiling. 
“I don’t know, just wanted it to seem more realistic I guess.” He sighs. 
“Well…” Jisung continues, “what happened next?” 
So Hyunjin continues with his story. He talks about the decorating of your dorm, he ignores the comment from Jisung about that’s how your apartment got that way. He goes on to talk about the movie night and the cookies to the ice skating, and he talks about the Christmas tree farm. 
“From there…” Hyunjin slows down and pauses. 
The trio is silent, waiting for the blond to admit what they all know. They’re not sure how long he’s silent for, it could have been only a second, but in that moment it could have also been a lifetime. 
“From there… It was different.” 
He looks over to the three boys at the dining table. He felt like his heart was cracking in a whole new different way. When he was keeping it to himself, he could shove it into a little box and act as if it was something future-Hyunjin had to deal with. But now this present version of him hated past him for even thinking about putting the emotions aside to begin with. 
“I don’t know when it happened, or if it happened long before I even realised it, but she’s different. She’s her version of perfect and now it’s blown up in my face.” Hyunjin’s frown is contagious. “I– I love her and now she wants nothing to do with me anymore.” 
“I’m sure that’s not true…” Changbin tries to sympathise, but Hyunjin just shakes his head. 
“You should have seen her, she would barely look at me.” Hyunjin begins to hiccup again. “She’s the love of my life and it ended before it even started.” 
Jisung opens his mouth to speak, but Chan quickly nudges him in the side to be quiet. When Jisung looks at the older boy, all Chan does is shake his head. A look on his face saying let him get this out. 
“Ever since the Christmas tree farm, she’s been different, she’s amazing and kind–” Hyunjin hiccups, blinking away the tears he could feel welling up in his eyes. “She has this sparkle about her and even though I know it annoyed her, she still let me go on and on about how I wanted a perfect college Christmas romance when with her… I don’t need perfection.” 
“What are you going to do?” 
Hyunjin feels like curling up into a ball. He wishes for his friends to stop staring at him. He wants to hide, he wants to cry, and he wants to eat his body weight in a food that isn’t going to remind him of you– not that there were many types of those things. 
“I need to give her the space she wanted,” Hyunjin states. “She can do the things she needs to: focus on work and her internship. And I'll wait…” 
“Wait for her?” Jisung says.
Hyunjin nods. “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” 
eleven.
– december 14th.
When the soft click of her door closing behind her is heard, you turn your attention back to him. You open your mouth to speak, but before you can utter a word, he shakes his head.
“No.” He doesn’t even let you begin.
He gasps for air and you can see him blinking rapidly. You feel your heart tear in two.
“I get it,” he mutters. “You can have what you want.”
Before you can utter another word, he’s out the door. You’re sure the pizza he leaves behind is cold by now, but even if you were hungry a few minutes ago, you’re not anymore. What you want more is for him to turn around, to come back when you call out to him.
But he’s gone. It’s too late.
“Okay, so what was that all about?” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your trance. 
You’re not sure how long it’s been since Hyunjin left your dorm, your door is still wide open, and you haven’t even moved a muscle. Even though you have class in twenty minutes—that part you didn’t lie about—you want nothing but to run into your room and hide there for the rest of the year.
You clear your throat and your hands go back to the strap of your bag to keep them entertained. “I… I don’t know what you’re on about.”
You haven’t even turned to look at her and you know that she knows you’re lying through your teeth.  
“Uh huh,” Yeri tuts. 
You hear her footsteps get closer to you before she’s come up beside you and is now in eye view. 
“So no trouble going on with Mr Blond Best Friend, then?” she continues to question. 
You stay silent in response, not trusting your own voice. Your eyes start to feel wet. You were able to keep up an act in front of Hyunjin, but now that he’s gone and the vision of his teary eyes keeps repeating in your mind, it’s getting more and more difficult to pretend. 
“Nothing’s going on,” you clear your throat again. Tugging on your crossbody bag, you look at her once before rushing to the door. “I need to go to class, glad to see you back.” 
Yeri can’t even get another word out as you rush out the door, slamming it behind you. You unknowingly take the same route as Hyunjin, rushing down the stairs to get out of the building as quickly as possible. 
Once the cold air hits you, you take a deep breath and wipe your cheeks with the back of your hands. 
You had to, it was the only option.
“Hyunjin!” you call out, looking all around you. Several students push by you, some wearing holiday pyjamas or Santa hats. You don’t understand how they can feel even an ounce of Christmas spirit right now.
You try running somewhere, anywhere, ducking and weaving through the pack of students making their way to wherever they want to go. There are hundreds of students out, yet you can pick out one blond head from the crowd.
“Hyunjin!”
You run faster. Before you’re able to process it, someone on an electric scooter whizzes by, knocking you off your feet. You yelp and stretch your arms out to catch yourself.
And now you’re on the ground. Groaning, you slowly move to get up. Hundreds of students pass by where you lie, but not one stops to help you. Until…
“Oh my god, Y/N!”
You light up for a second at the familiar voice. Once you realise who it is, you roll over, deflated.
Jisung gasps. “You look like death! What happened to you?!”
You blink once. “Gee, thanks,” you say flatly.
The boy stares at you for a second before finally reaching a hand out. You take it and he pulls you up.
“O-Okay, but seriously, what happened?” he says. “Are you okay?”
You search his eyes for a moment before shrugging. What are you supposed to say to Jisung? That you just ruined your friendship with the love of your life?
“It’s about Hyunjin, isn’t it?” Jisung says, his voice softer. The way he’s watching you makes you tear up all over again. He seems to let you process for another moment before reaching over, rubbing your shoulder gently.
“Look,” he sighs, “I… I know you two weren’t real. I honestly thought you were, though.” He then mutters something along the lines of, “So I didn’t owe our friend group sixty dollars after all.”
“That’s your first thought right now?”
“Wait, nonono!” Jisung’s stance changes in a snap and begins frantically smoothing out your outfit, ruffling your messy hair and making it even messier. “It’s okay, it’s okay, everything will beeee okaaayyy.”
You groan and roll your eyes fondly, but you let him continue.
“Okay, but for real now…” He rubs your shoulder again. “I think you should tell him.”
A breath hitches in the back of your throat. “Tell him… what exactly?”
He sighs deeply. “You know what I mean, Y/N.”
It’s your turn to sigh, and you look down at your shoes as your eyes well up again. Jisung smiles sadly at you and pulls you into a hug.
“He misses you, you know that?” he says. You nod, shoving your face in his shoulder before he can see you cry. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell him you miss him, too. That’s your job.”
In between sobs, you nod.
“And once you two get together, I can get my damn money back,” Jisung grumbles.
You let out a wet chuckle and hold onto him for another minute. You’re terrified of what may happen, but no amount of fear in your body is worth the heartbreak you feel right now.
twelve.
– december 24th.
Hyunjin feels… something. 
Every year on Christmas Eve, the boy would scramble to get to bed early, so he could be asleep by the time Santa comes. Obviously, though, he’s since outgrown that tradition, but now he stays up till midnight like every other teenager and college student, counting down the seconds to Christmas Day. It’s as if Christmas is Hyunjin’s pre-New Year of sorts. He may not believe in Santa anymore, but the childlike wonder and excitement he gets during this time of year has never changed. He’s all jumpy and hyper and jittery like a kid who ate too much candy, eagerly awaiting the day that the movies and the lights and the snow have made so magical.
And this year, for the first time ever, he might not be counting down alone.
Going the past week without hearing the sound of your voice felt like walking barefoot through a pit full of Legos—doubly so because he saw you on campus during finals week talking to Jisung once. Jisung! Out of everyone in your friend circle, of course you were still talking to the one who flirts with everyone for fun. At least he didn’t wink at you this time…
But after what felt like aeons of being sent to voicemail, you finally called him back six days, sixteen hours, and forty-seven minutes ago. You said something about meeting up for lunch the day after or something; he barely remembers anything from that call other than that you called. That lunch at the university cafe wasn’t much different. He was so relieved that you were in front of him talking to him again that he wasn’t paying much attention to what you were actually saying.
…Okay, maybe that’s a lie. You rearranged the Christmas decorations he had thrown all over your dorm on your first date, you got all your Christmas shopping done, and you have a super-duper special date planned for Christmas Eve. Dress warm. You’ll pick him up at 8 for dinner. And you’ll both be getting home late.
Hyunjin can see his breath just past his nose as he checks out his reflection in the glass window panes of the university library. He picked out his best winter coat for tonight—the one that goes with almost any outfit he could put together, but also doesn’t take the limelight off of yours. He also broke out the pristine white sneakers—you know, the ones he cleans frantically after every use. Were they going to get dirty in the snow? Maybe a little. But it’s you, and they go so well with his sweater and jeans. You deserve his best fit.
He knows nothing about what your plan is for tonight. All he knows is that you’ll be here in five minutes, his stomach is doing flips inside him, and he’s got shivers going up his spine.
Hyunjin feels something—he just can’t name what that something is. All the adjectives he can think of don’t feel quite right. The closest he can get is ‘tingly’, and even then, he can’t explain why he landed on that particular word. But when you pull up at the library and roll down your window, all the words he’s ever learned fly out the door.
No combination of letters could capture how beautiful you are to him.
Hyunjin is surprised to find himself back in the heart of downtown. This time, it’s after a lovely meal and hours-long conversation with you, and you’re the one guiding him around now.
He swivels his head around as he lets you lead, taking in all the glittery Christmas lights the same way you are. Quickly, he recognizes you’re taking the same path he once did to the cafe where you two watched the light switch. He feels like he’s on the Polar Express to the North Pole—yes, of course he was watching the movie before your date tonight. It’s a Christmas must.
Wait… fake date. He nearly forgot these dates aren’t real.
He’s not sure why he let himself get away with calling all these real dates. Clearly, it made you uncomfortable to the point where you felt the need to fake-break up with him. He’s also not sure if he should consider himself lucky that the breakup wasn’t real.
Does this mean the fake Christmas romance thing is back on? You two never actually discussed it, but you did also ask him on a… fake date.
Despite this, there’s still something in the air that’s giving him that tingly feeling. He’s still not sure if that’s the right word. He just knows that standing right next to you on the balcony of an abandoned cafe to witness the arrival of Christmas Day… it feels so, so right. Almost like everything is falling into place.
“Hyunnie… can we talk?”
Hyunjin turns to you, his gaze soft, and you freeze in place. Did you really just say that? Now?  What if you ruin Christmas Eve and Christmas because you didn’t wait?
You sigh to yourself, a small puff of air escaping your mouth. You know that this was something you needed to do, both for yourself and your peace of mind. Maybe Jisung, too, and whatever lost money he was moping about that one time. But there’s still ten minutes to midnight. Is that too soon?
No. It’s not. If anything, it’s long overdue. No more running. Plus, if he’s truly your best friend and he doesn’t like you back, nothing should change… right? At least, not for the long term.
“Is everything okay?”
Hyunjin’s honey voice pulls you out of your thoughts. Hyunnie, sweet like honey… wait, Y/N, don’t get distracted. It’s almost midnight.
Take a deep breath.
“Hyunnie, um…” You fiddle with a small object in your pocket as you try to think.
When you look up, he’s nodding. “Yeah?”
Deep breath.
“I’m sorry… I'm sorry for ghosting you and stopping this so suddenly.” You’re blinking and Hyunjin watches as you open your mouth to speak before closing it again. Like the words are at the tip of your tongue, but the courage just hasn’t bubbled up enough. “I…” You take a breath, looking up at anywhere but him as you mumble to yourself, “God, this is so much harder than I thought it’d be.”
You take a little shuffle forward.
“I… I think I realised too late, and by the time I realised, I freaked out and just… I shut down.” You look at him, your eyes boring into each other like you’re both trying to find the centre of each other’s soul. It's too much for you to stomach while you struggle to pull words out of your throat, so you let your gaze fall.
“Realised what?” Hyunjin whispers. You somehow hear it over the crowd of people forming below you.
You shuffle forward unconsciously again, keeping your eyes down. 
“Do— do you hate me?” Hyunjin says.
Eyes wide, you snap your head up and shake your head quickly. “N-No! Of course not.” “Then what—”
Your gaze shoots down and your hand goes for Hyunjin’s. A small gasp leaves his mouth before your brain catches up with the rest of you.
When you finally have the courage to look back up, it’s like everything has blurred into the background. Everything except the boy in front of you, who looks about as shocked as you are at yourself. Is this it? Is this going to be your Hallmark moment?
Deep breath.
“I love you.”
Hyunjin’s eyes grow wider, his mouth opening and closing like a fish a couple times. He probably thinks someone took over your body, that this isn’t really you.
“You… love me?”
You nod and smile. It’s hard to tell if he’s still in disbelief, but honestly, you can barely believe you’re saying these words. But you mean every single one of them.
“I do… and there’s no one else I’d rather have a Christmas romance with.”
There’s a feverish look grazing Hyunjin’s face, his mouth opened just slightly as he gasps quietly. You swear you can see little stars adorning his pretty brown eyes.
“Well,” you clarify quickly, “a college Christmas romance. But I don’t think I want this to end after we graduate.”
Hyunjin’s eyes are crinkling at the edges, his nose scrunching just slightly with the force of his joy. You’re sure of two things in that moment. One, your own expression must look just as lovesick as his. And two, you’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as Hyunjin under the glow of the lights surrounding the plaza. 
“Y/N, I… can I kiss you?”
From somewhere in the streets below, you recognize the gathered crowd beginning the countdown to midnight. You barely pay it half a mind as you pull the object from your pocket. Hyunjin’s eyes follow you as you hold it up over your heads. It’s a small sprig of mistletoe, and you can’t help the proud smile that sweeps across your face.
“You know, you wanted to hit all the Christmas traditions and you forgot one of the best ones.” 
“God, I love you.”
You practically jump into his arms when he presses his lips against yours. Fireworks explode in your chest as the clock rings twelve and cheers erupt from the streets below. It’s all a buzz in your head, though, as you cup Hyunjin’s cheeks in your hands and melt into his arms and lips and just him. 
You hope he never tries to chase perfection again, because you’re sure that this moment, right now, is the definition of it. Nothing has ever felt so perfect, so right, and nothing else will ever come close.
As if on cue, when you two slowly break the kiss, you feel something wet land on your head. You and your not fake boyfriend?—you’ll have to talk to him about that later—look up to see fluffy, white snowdrops falling all around you two.
“Merry Christmas, Hyunnie,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Hyunjin has the biggest smile on his face as you pull away. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
You let out a joyful giggle. It looks like Hyunjin got the cheesy Christmas romance he’s been searching his whole life for. It might not have gone the exact way he’d dreamed of, but you hope he is as happy as he has always made you.
And maybe, just maybe, you also got the ending you’d been dreaming of all along.
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Text
Superpham AU (part 4)
Original prompt + parts 1-3
Masterpost
-----
It's not the most awkward dinner Lois has ever had, but only because she's dined with literal supervillains before.  
Danny is poking at his Mongolian beef with his fork more than he's actually eating it.  Lois can hardly blame him; it’s been a difficult few days for her and she’s not the one who just landed in a different dimension from the one she grew up in.  But Danny certainly isn’t up to keeping conversation going.
Jon is making a valiant effort, but he seems distracted.  He keeps shooting looks at Lois and Clark when he thinks they’re not looking, and while he recounts everything he and Damian got up to (not too much trouble, thankfully, although that wasn’t saying much), he’s less enthusiastic than he would normally be.  
Clark keeps shooting Jon worried looks when he thinks Jon isn’t looking.  Lois will have to ask him how that conversation went; it seems like it was rough on both of them. 
Eventually, even Jon runs out of things to say, and the four of them sit around the table, eating their Chinese takeout in silence.  
“So, Danny,” Lois finally says.  “I don’t know how the dimension you grew up in differs from this one, but if you have any questions about anything, please ask one of us.”
“It’s not that different,” Danny says.  “I mean, it is in some ways, but it’s still Earth, you know?”
Lois isn’t entirely certain she does, but this doesn’t seem to be the time to ask.  Maybe when things are less fresh.
Jon has no such compunctions.  “What’s the biggest difference?” 
Danny looks thoughtful.  “You guys have a lot of superheroes here,” he finally says.
“What kind of superheroes did your other world have?” Jon asks eagerly.  
“We mostly didn’t,” Danny says.  “I mean, I guess Phantom kind of counts.  But that’s it.”
“That’s it?” Jon is clearly flabbergasted by this.  Lois fights a smile, and she can see Clark doing the same thing.  Jon has never known a world without the Justice League, but she and Clark can both remember when superheroes were much, much rarer.
“Most people probably wouldn’t even count Phantom,” Danny says.  “The kids mostly did, but a lot of adults didn’t trust him because he was… because he wasn’t exactly human.”
Combined with what Danny said before about that interdimensional portal, this is painting a picture Lois really doesn’t like.
“There are folks like that everywhere, unfortunately,” Clark says.  “And you can’t always change their minds. But I believe most people are better than that."
Judging by Danny's expression, he wasn't entirely convinced of that. Lois couldn't blame him; she has enough trouble seeing the good in people the way Clark did, and the other dimension sounds worse than hers in this regard.  
Danny doesn’t seem inclined to talk about it any further.  Silence lingers for just a beat too long before he speaks.  “Oh, the sun’s yellow here.  That’s different, too.”
-----
The front door slams, shaking the house, and Jon scrambles into the kitchen.  
“Where’s Ma and Pa?” he demands.
Kon mentally says goodbye to his tentative plans for the day.  Not that he minds hanging out with Jon, but he’s clearly upset about something.  Kon’s good at a lot of things, but emotional conversations is not one of them.
“They’re in town for the day,” Kon says.  “You’re lucky they didn’t hear you slam the door like that.”
“Did you know about Danny?” Jon demands.
“Who?”
“Dan-El.”
Clark texted a couple of days ago, telling Kon to call when he had time.  Kon has been putting it off, knowing that Clark has better ways of getting in touch with him if there’s a real emergency.  That’s starting to seem like a mistake.
He doesn’t answer Jon right away, which Jon seems to take as its own answer.  
“Did everyone know but me?” Jon demands.
The thing is, Kon is pretty sure he's not supposed to know about Dan-El. Lois and Clark have never breathed a word about him in Kon's hearing.
He only knows because he spent an afternoon helping Ma go through some old boxes up in the attic and found a box of photos-- mostly of Clark as a kid, but some of Ma and Pa when they were younger.
"Oh goodness," Ma had said, when she'd notices what Kon was looking at. "I keep telling myself I'm going to organize those and put them in an album, but I never get around to it."
She'd sat down next to Kon and looked through the pictures with him, pointing out her favorites and telling stories to accompany them. ("And that one was from just after Clark's tenth birthday-- we had to get a new door because his strength was just coming in and he broke the old one.")
Then Kon had pulled out a photo of a toddler, sitting on the front porch with Pa. He'd thought it was a picture of Clark at first, but Pa's hair was considerably more gray than it was in the pictures from Clark's childhood, and Ma had just told him that the porch had been rebuilt and expanded after Clark broke the old one in tenth grade.
"Oh, that's Daniel," Ma said. She'd gently taken the photo from Kon's hand and ran a finger over not-Clark's face. "He was our first grandson-- Lois and Clark's oldest." She'd gone on to tell him the whole sad story.
There's a small headstone for Daniel Kent in the Smallville cemetery, right next to Pa's parents. Kon thinks it must have been Ma or Pa's idea; there was no body to bury and as far as he knows, Lois and Clark never visit it.
“I don’t think that’s it,” Kon says.  “I think it’s just not something they talk about.”  Jon doesn’t look convinced, so he adds, “They told you now, right?”
“Only after he showed up!” 
“Wait, what?”  Kon is starting to think he really should have replied to that message from Clark.
-----
Not for the first time, Clark wishes there was a handbook for this sort of thing.  But oddly enough, parenting manuals generally don’t cover how to talk to your long-lost son about his alien heritage.  He’s put this off long enough already; Danny had spent most of the previous day out with Lois, picking up all the necessities he didn’t have.
“So…” Danny says, kicking his feet a little.  He’s sitting next to Clark on this skyscraper, his feet dangling over the edge.  It makes Clark a little nervous, seeing how Danny can’t fly yet, but he also knows he’s fast enough to catch Danny if he were to fall.
"Lois said you're an alien?" The words are softened by the blatant curiosity in Danny's tone, and Clark remembers Lois recounting how excited Danny was to meet J'onn and to see space from the Watchtower. 
It's a sentiment Clark can understand. He's traveled through space and met aliens both hostile and friendly. He regularly meets with his colleagues on an orbiting space station. And yet, seeing his adopted planet from space still fills him with awe.
"When I was born, my parents— my birth parents— already knew our planet, Krypton, was dying," Clark begins. It's not an easy story to tell, but the grief is old. Not gone, but distant. It's a place and a people he will never know except through stories and the archives in the Fortress— but those, at least, he can share. He tells Danny this, too, and promises to take him to the Fortress soon. It would be easier if Danny could fly, but he'll make it work. 
"You should talk to Kara, too," Clark adds. 
"Who's Kara?"
"My cousin. Right now she's in space, on a Justice League mission, but you'll meet her when she gets back. She was a teenager when Krypton was destroyed; she has firsthand memories."  He’ll save explaining the part where she got caught in suspended animation for later; he’s dumped a lot of information on Danny already.
“You said something the other night about yellow sun radiation?” Danny asks.
“It’s what gives Kryptonians our power, here on Earth,” Clark says.  
“And what powers are those, exactly?” Danny seems more hesitant than Clark would usually expect of a teenager finding out he’s going to develop superpowers— but then, they already know Danny grew up in a world where that sort of thing was feared and looked down upon.  
“Enhanced sense, enhanced strength and speed, flight, invulnerability— there are others, but those are the main ones to expect.”
Danny nods thoughtfully.
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murdrdocs · 8 months
Text
thinkin abt messy audible sex w stiles
It’s like your senses are heightened, the ability to take in absolutely every single thing happening around you a new addition to your usual life. Maybe, if you weren’t in these specific circumstances, you would be a little freaked out. Heart racing for another reason, a different type of overstimulation seeping into your body and sending you running instead of chasing the sensations. 
But with Stiles above you, left hand pressed into the pillow under your head, right hand gripping your bare hip like his life depends on it, you’re able to use your enhanced-like senses to your advantage. You’re able to smell the remnants of Stiles’ cologne and your perfume as your combined sweat washes it off, replacing the traditionally pleasant scents with untraditionally aromatic smells of sex. You’re able to feel Stiles’ silky soft hair under your fingertips, and the easy way his cock slides in and out of your welcoming walls. But most of all, you’re able to hear the sound of you and Stiles together, the wet squelch of your cunt taking his inches with each thrust, the near silence of the refusal to let him go as he pulls back. 
When you’d first started a couple of orgasms ago, you could barely hear all of that, your moans and Stiles’ praises drowning the sound out. Then after your third orgasm, you’d gone silent, your euphoria rendering you speechless, soundless even. It’s then that you could hear it all, Stiles noticing first as he shushed you with a just as audible kiss. 
“Listen to that. You hear that?” He waited for your response, amber eyes flickering between each of yours. When you did hear it, mouth dropping a little as your eyes hazed over, he smirked, a curt amused chuckle falling from his lips before he kissed you once more. “Making fuckin’ music, baby.” 
Usually, Stiles fucked you with as least some sort of percision, some technique that he'd picked up which always made you mess. But you were already a mess, and Stiles' style of fucking you tonight was messy. Uncoordinated thrusts that had you wanting more and less. Fingers added along with his cock, the slightest stretch having you seeing stars. Circling your clit and spitting on it and even fucking speaking to your cunt. He's like a different person.
You were fucking gushing around him, a product from the first orgasm Stiles had given you with his fingers, then the second with his tongue, and the impending third from his cock. You’ve been in a position similarly to this one before, but your abundance of arousal was unusual, probably an effect of Stiles’ new haircut and particularly cocky attitude today. 
Both had you wanting him more than usual, trying to keep your hormones subdued even though it made them worse. Pretending like you didn’t want Stiles eventually had you pressing yourself against him when you were alone, close to begging for him to touch you but you’d never have to beg Stiles, he thinks it’s a privilege to have you like this. 
To him, his form of heaven is bringing you to the edge again and again. It’s why he’s bolstering right now, chattier than usual as he praises you for even being this wet for him. It starts off as praise, and it starts with him talking to you, but then you feel as if he’s talking more to himself. 
“So, so good for me, sweetheart. You don’t even know what you do to me, do you? Think about you all day. My girl. Letting me treat her like a little slut. Don’t even know what to do with myself most of the time. Can’t do anything but jack off, thinking about how good you taste, how good you feel.” 
And as much as you like hearing Stiles talk, you just need to hear what the two of you sound like a little more. So you bring him down to you, nails digging into his scalp to silence him even as you push your lips to his. Then, you pull back enough to speak to him, a commanding, “listen” let out into the air. 
Stiles smiles against your lips, and then he listens.
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