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tomssexdoll · 26 days

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Bill x female reader (2011) yn and Bill meet for the first time at a fashion show , they feel a strong attraction and she invitees him at her hotel.

He wants to eat her out they also try 69 lots of dirty talk please

Love your work!!

Hi yes lovely!!

Chemistry

PAIRINGS: Bill 2011 x Female reader CONTENT: FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Bill spots Y/N in the crowd of one of his fashion shows, he winks at her and calls her backstage after he's done. They get to know each other and they both feel a strong connection to eachother, unlike with anyone else they've been with. She then invites him to her hotel to "get to know eachother more" wink wink. A/N: HES SO SEXY AHHHH MEOW MEOW PURR WARNINGS: bill!dom, reader!sub, eating out, 69, dirty talk (lots oml), also praising

I was at a fashion event with my friends, Dsquared Fall/Winter 2010 fashion show, we had been to a lot of different fashion shows but this one was just different, one of the models was absolutely gorgeous, the way his hair was slicked back and his weird outfits made me slightly turned on.

I was staring at him in awe, taking in his beautiful features, I guess he caught onto it because he looked back at me. It snapped me out of my trance and I gave him a quick smile, my face flushed from embarassment. He winked at me and walked off, my heart stopped in that moment, the guy I had been obsessively admiring all night just winked at me? Oh. my. god.

After the show finished, I stood up and went to walk out but security stopped me. I thought I was in trouble, shit..did they see me take a swig from the vodka bottle in my purse? Hopefully not.

I acted as normal as I could, preparing to get arrested or just handed a fine, but instead he said "Bill Kaulitz wants to see you backstage" he smiled softly. Bill? The guy who winked at me? Who else would it be...I bit my lip and nodded, following the security guard and waving to my friends as they left.

I smiled like an idiot, a big grin on my face as I was led to his dressing room. I knocked on the door and he opened it, his tall, slender figure towering over me. My breathing hitched, I didn't realize how tall he actually was compared to me, I never took it into account, he was just so handsome that the rest of his body didn't matter.

"Hi.." I said shyly, blush creeping up my neck and onto my face. "Hey gorgeous, come in" he said in his thick german accent, the one that sent me into a chokehold. I stepped inside and sat in a nearby chair, playing with my fingers, looking down at the floor.

I felt him grab my chin to face him, my eyes widened a little bit. "Don't be shy prinzessin, what's your name?" "y/n, y/n l/n" I smiled warmly, he chuckled "what a beautiful name y/n, beautiful like you" he smirked, I giggled nervously, he made me fold from his words, and he could tell. Fuck.

We talked for about 2 hours non stop, after the 15 minute mark we finally broke the barier and I'm glad we did, he was so interesting, so kind and charming. A security guard came in and warned us that the studio was gonna close in 15 minutes, we looked at eachother and then at the time and laughed as we realized we had been talking for so long. It only felt like 10 minutes. I seriously felt a strong connection to him, unlike any other i've ever felt before.

"Do you wanna go back to my hotel room? We can continue to talk there" I chuckled, he nodded and packed his things from the office and closed the door behind him. He suddenly grabbed my hand, holding it in his, I looked up at him and he winked at me. "Cmon, let's go." he said, chuckling at my reaction.

As we got to the parking lot I remembered we caught a taxi there, "fuck.." I muttered under my breath "what's wrong prinzessin?" i sighed "I forgot, I didn't even drive here, I'm so sorry I can call us a taxi, I should've remembered" I groaned.

He put his hand on my shoulder lovingly, "hey don't worry, my car is here" he smiled and walked me to his car, it was a beautiful dark blue colour with black stripes on the hood and the back. "Woah, your car is so cool" I traced it with my fingers before getting into the passanger seat. He hopped into the drivers seat and started the car, the engine roaring loudly.

He sped off to where I said my hotel was, when we arrived he opened the door for me and I giggled "such a gentleman" I winked at him and he smirked, grabbing my hand again and walking with me up to my room.

Not one moment was awakward, we continued to talk for hours more, about everything and also nothing. He was the type of person where you could talk about stupid things and it would be interesing. I slowly layed back into the bed, he was still at the end of the bed and we were talking as usual.

Then, things became tense, not in a bad way, but it's like the air was thicker. He slowly crawled to me onto the bed and hovered on top of me, "you're so sexy.." he whispered in my ear, I gasped as he started to suck my neck, slowly and softly, leaving little marks. Then he moved onto my lips, capturing them in a passionate kiss. The way our lips moved so perfectly, like they were made for each other sent sparks flying.

I placed one hand the back of his head, continuing the passionate embrace. His lips were so soft, so gentle and kind. Not rough or unkind.

"Can I try something liebe? You might like it.." he smirked, I nodded hesitently. He slowly moved down to my area, looking up at me for conformation. I nodded eagerly and slowly took my skirt off, along with my panties, exposing my wet cunt.

His mouth opened slightly, groaning at the sight of my pussy. He locked his arms around my legs and started to softly kiss and suck on my clit. I moaned softly "fuck..i've never done this before Bill.." he looked up at me "don't worry prinzessin, you're in great hands.." he smirked and continued his movements.

"Mmm..feels so good Bill" I rolled my eyes back, grabbing onto his hair and tugging it slightly. "So good baby, your pussy tastes amazing..fuck.." he groaned against my heat, licking and sucking up my juices.

He would occasionaly lick my whole pussy, from clit to hole. Making me shudder. My moans would get louder and more urgent when he would stick his tongue into my hole.

"Fuck..this pussy is so good, you're so fucking sexy" he continued his attack on my cunt, repeating movements that made me cry out in pleasure.

I felt my orgasm approaching, my clit becoming even more sensitive as his tongue flicked my bud. With one last loud moan my orgasm washed over me and I came hardly, he chuckled and licked up everything I gave him, careful not to overstimulate me.

He pulled himself up and kissed me roughly, tasting myself on his lips.

"Come here baby, let's try something else" he smirked, flipping us over so I was on top of him, "turn around liebe" he guided me so my head was near his cock and my pussy was on his face. "Go ahead, take my cock out for me baby..it's aching" he moaned, I happily obliged and slowly took his cock out of his pants, revealing the precum that leaked out of his cock. It was throbbing so hard, making me so wet.

"Come on baby, suck it" he latched onto my pussy, kissing and licking it again. I moaned and leaned down, putting his cock in my mouth and sucking, bobbing my head up and down at a fast pace.

I groaned, his tongue piercing against my clit drived me wild, his cock was almost too big for me, choking and gagging on it as I sucked. It hit the back of my throat, tears threatening to escape my eyes.

I continued to suck his length, saliva sticking around my mouth. I moaned against his cock as he sucked my pussy. Pulling away slightly as the pleasure took over my body. "Fuck..don't stop baby.." he groaned "doing so good, cmon" my shaky hands returned to his cock, pumping it a few times before putting it back into my mouth, sucking on it graciously.

"Fuck..gonna cum.." he moaned loudly against my cunt, the vibrations making me whimper. I picked up my pace, eagerly wanting him to cum in my mouth, sucking hard and fast. His cock twitched before shooting a massive load into my mouth, it was almost like he hadn't came for WEEKS. I winced at all the cum in my mouth and swallowed it, cringing at the taste.

Slowly after my orgasm hit, cumming all over his mouth. He again licked all my sweetness up, making sure he didn't leave even so much as a drop left.

I turned around and collapsed onto his chest, trying to regain my breath. "Fuck..that was so good liebe.." he panted out. I nodded and looked up at him, softly smiling.

E/N: HEY GUYS HOW WAS IT? I LOVED WRITING THIS AHHH, ty for the love and support it means the world to me <3

#tokiohotel #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitz smut #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x female reader #bill kaulitz x y/n #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz x reader

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xsweetcatastrophe · 12 days

Text

You Broke Me First

Part 15

Zoe woke up a couple hours later, feeling slightly better and very relaxed.

Her eyes scanned the room - she was still wrapped up in the same spot, on the comfiest bed she's ever been in. She rolled onto her back and stretched her legs and arms as well, reaching them up over her head. Cillian stirred besides her.

"What time is it?" Zoe rasped out.

Cillian reached over and checked his phone. The TV was still on, casting some light in the dark room. The storm was still raging outside.

"It's 4:30" He replied, setting his phone down.

"Did you get a chance to sleep?" Zoe asked.

Cillian smiled. "Yea, until your snoring woke me up"

Zoe looked mortified. "I do NOT snore!"

Cillian laughed. "I should have recorded you"

"You better not!!" Zoe said, lightly pushing his shoulder. Cillian laughed. He looked over at her. "Relax. I wouldn't do that. And yes I slept a bit. I got up to make a cup of tea. I would of asked you, but you were out like a light"

Zoe smiled. "It's easy when this bed is so comfy. I can't believe you get to sleep in this every night. This is heaven"

Cillian broke his smile, and looked back at the TV. Zoe noticed, Did I say something wrong? she wondered.

"You hungry?" Cillian said, sitting up. "We can order some food. Want some Chinese? There's a place I order from that has the best egg rolls"

Zoe sat up, and ran her fingers through her hair. "Cill, I feel like a freeloader staying here all day. It's not fair to you. I already stayed way too long and you've been very kind when you didn't need to-"

"But I want you to stay" Cillian said, turning around.

Zoe looked shocked. "You do?"

"Yea.... and plus, we have an episode of succession to catch up on, remember?" Cillian said, hopefully.

Zoe smiled. "okay fine. You grab the takeout menu, i'll get HBO up and running."

Forty five minutes later, they had a bed picnic of chicken and broccoli, lo mein, crab rangoon and egg rolls. Succession was playing while they were quietly eating, passing back and forth the takeout containers between them.

They both didn't want to address the elephant in the room.

the elephant being the fact this arrangement was coming to an end in a month and a half, and they were starting to enjoy each other's company. They were acting like a couple when they were in fact NOT a couple. They had to act like a couple when they were out in public; not in the confines of their own homes. Sure, they had to get to know each other, but calling Cillian wasted and him picking Zoe up and taking care of her all night and morning was a move reserved for people more than just "acquaintances."

That's what Zoe was scared of; He would move on after this arrangement was done and he'd go to live his life, date the models, walk the red carpets, and she'll just be a blip in his past. She'll always come up as a girl he dated; that is what she'll be known for. Cillian Murphy's ex girlfriend. Where does she go from here? Sure, she has a job; but what about her reputation? Did she ruin it? Would any job she gets be because of her talent, and not because of who she dated? Would anyone want to date her after this or would she be labeled as "too much baggage"? Would she still be followed by people wanting to take her picture?

Zoe put down her fork and took a sip of the glass of water on the bedside table. She noticed her phone next to the glass; still on the charger but still off. She knew had to turn it on eventually, but she kind of liked being disconnected from everyone. She felt like she was in a bubble with Cillian, and no one could get to them.

She grabbed her phone and turned on the power button.

I'm just going to text Dana and let he know I'm alive, Zoe thought. Then I'm turning it right back off.

Sure enough, there were some texts and missed calls from Dana, some texts not making sense (they were from last night) and many from this morning, stating the usual hungover texts.

I'm never drinking again I feel like I got hit by a truck Text me when you get this, so i know you're good

Zoe sent her a quick text, letting her know she was okay and that she, too, felt like shit. She powered her phone back down, but not without noticing some texts from her mom.

Not strong enough for that right now, Zoe thought.

Cillian began to collect the takeout containers and bring them downstairs to the trash. Zoe got out of the bed and smoothed out the blanket, brushing off any crumbs that might be left over.

She didn't want to admit it, but she was thoroughly enjoying herself. When she would sit and think about her future, she always pictured days like this with her husband; rainy, cozy days in bed, under the covers, sleeping, kissing, watching TV.

She didn't think she'd be doing this with Cillian Murphy.

Cillian came back as soon as Zoe was finishing cleaning the blanket. She half thought since they were done eating, he would offer to have Joseph drive her home. Instead, he got back in bed and resumed his position that he had all afternoon.

Zoe crawled back in bed, resting her head against the soft pillows. She turned to face him.

"so....." Zoe said. She didn't know what she was saying. The silence was killing her. She felt there was tension in the room. She didn't know what from, she just knew something felt off.

"So...." Cillian repeated, also not sure what to say.

After about 10 seconds of awkward silence, they both looked at each other and laughed. Cillian scooted down and lay on his side, facing her. They were inches away, staring at each other.

"So are you always this accommodating to the drunk ladies you score on the weekends?" Zoe said, instantly regretting it. that's the best I can come up with? I sound like such a loser.

"The ladies I score on the weekends? You think I'm that good huh?" Cillian chuckled. "Drunk ladies aren't my thing. And I much rather be home. I'm not one for going out every night. I'm past that phase in my life."

"Then why'd you come get me then? You could of easily just hung up or not answered when I called."

Cillian smiled softly. "Because I care. Contrary to what you believe. And whenever you call... i'll always answer."

Zoe smiled again. "You have a funny way of showing you care... sometimes"

"... Because everyone I ever cared about like this, left."

Zoe's heart broke. He cared. She cared. They both care. And they both shouldn't.

"What's going to happen when this is done?" Zoe whispered.

Cillian sighed. "I guess we... go our separate ways"

Zoe felt a lump in her throat. Through all the bullshit that happened, she develop feelings for Cillian. She didn't want to admit it, but she did. And the fact that there's a timeline on their relationship made her feel anxious. She wanted to soak up every second with him while she could. She just needed to be sure, 100000% sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they were on the same page.

"Cillian" Zoe said, bravely. Just do it. Say it.

"Hm?"

"I..." Zoe started, voice now faltering.

Cillian smiled, and rested his hand on her cheek.

"i know."

He knows? knows what?

"No, let me just say it." Zoe said. She was so sick of letting things go unsaid.

"As much as you drive me crazy, and the shit you pulled last night at my apartment... I can't stop thinking about you. You're like the breath of fresh air I needed. I find myself looking forward to Sundays when you come over, and every time I hear my phone go off, i hope it's you. I just... I don't know. I know we shouldn't of, and this was all just supposed to be an agreement, but I can't help it."

Cillian smiled, hand still on her cheek. "I know."

I know? I know?? What does that mean? He feels the same way? or he can tell how I feel? Why are men so vague??

"Last night, when I left your apartment after I ... you know" Cillian said, rolling his eyes. Zoe couldn't help but giggle. It was so stupid what he did.

"I came home, and I came up here, and put on HBO and had every intention of finishing the episode we started. But I couldn't"

"Why?" Zoe asked.

Cillian's demeanor softened, if it could get any softer. "I didn't want to watch it without you. It's a little bit of you I look forward to every week. It didn't feel right. I wanted to watch it with you."

Zoe smiled. "Well, It's been on and we've been missing it this entire time" She whispered.

"Cillian smiled. "This is better" His thumb softly rubbing against her cheek. He sighed. "You make me very nervous" He continued.

"You terrify me" Zoe replied. That caught Cillian off guard.

"Wow. Haven't been called that before" he chuckled.

"Sorry," Zoe said, mentally kicking herself for saying another dumb thing. "It's just... I haven't been treated very kindly by guys... ever."

"And I've been left." Cillian whispered back. "Discarded to the side like it's nothing."

"It's their loss. It's her loss" Zoe said. Cillian froze for a second, picking up on Zoe saying "her"; she meant his ex wife. When will it not be a sore subject? When will he forgive himself?

Zoe reached out and put her hand on his cheek as well, mirroring his hand on her. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. Zoe scooted even closer to him, his hand falling from her cheek to under the covers, resting on her hip. Their chests slightly bumping every time they breathed, noses slightly brushed up against each other. Zoe could stay here forever.

"Zoe" Cillian whispered.

"hm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Zoe melted. "Yes"

Cillian lifted his head and his lips met hers.

There was no electrifying feeling from the kiss. There was no butterflies. No one got weak in the knees, and no one had their breath taken away.

They felt calm. They relaxed into each other. The heaviness that weighed on their chest was suddenly gone. They felt weightless, like they could float away.

Zoe kissed him back, slowly parting her lips and letting his tongue meet hers. He deepened the kiss and squeezed her hip. He pulled away but still close enough to have their lips touch.

"Stay the night with me" He whispered.

Zoe smiled back at him.

"I don't mean it like that," Cillian immediately said, realizing the position they were in. "I just... I just don't want this to end. I want you close to me"

Zoe smiled and gave him another kiss.

How could she ever leave?

tags: @lau219 @wolfieellsworld @shopgirl6us

#cillian x fem!reader #cillian fic #cillian murphy x oc #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #cillian murphy

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bloodynereid · 10 months

Note

Loving your Daisy Jones fics! I was wondering if you could do something about the band helping reader with their addiction or something along those lines? :)

Dissected Blush

pairings: daisy jones & the six x reader (platonic!) + reader x fem! oc (only for the end bit you can skip it if you want)

a/n: hiii sorry this took so long for me to post. I literally wrote this months ago but only got around to editing it recently. hope you enjoy and i'm backkkk. and as always requests are always open.

tw: addiction, descriptions of drug highs, mentions of smoking, drugs, swearing, overdose, near death experience

description: drugs became your best friend until it was almost too late.

Y/N: If you were in a band in the 70s a lot of your life revolved around 3 things: sex, drugs and rock and roll. Ok that isn’t necessarily true for everyone but it was certainly true for me. Well mostly the drugs part. I can remember the first time I tried cocaine so vividly…

You quietly closed the back door behind you as you tiptoed over to where your bike lay. A friend from work had invited you to a party about 15 minutes away. And since you had never been to a real LA party you readily accepted.

When you arrived at the really expensive looking house, every room was in a flurry of activity. There was a certain energy in the air from all the bodies who were either high or buzzed from the various alcoholic drinks that lay scattered on every surface.

“Y/N! Over here!” You swiveled around until you spotted the familiar redhead. Natasha eagerly offered you a line of fine powder that was arranged on top of a Vogue magazine.

“What’s this?”

“Have you never seen coke before?”

“Obviously but never in person.”

“Righttt I forgot you were from Pittsburgh of all places.”

“Oh fuck off.” You quickly snorted it as you had seen done in the various movies that showed up during your insomnia filled nights.

The drug instantly hit. And all you felt was euphoria. A high like no other. Nothing compared to this. Not even that feeling of playing in front of a live audience.

You spent the rest of the night high. Taking random lines throughout the many hours of the evening. You met movie stars, directors and parades of models. Each with their own story to tell but you were in such a haze that seconds after they left the conversation it was as if they had never been there at all.

Obviously the next morning when you woke up it was as if a thousand boulders had trampled over your body the previous night. And worst of all you were laying in bed next to an unknown man, someone you vaguely remembered as being at the same level of intoxicated as you were the night before.

But above all as you hastily put on your flared jeans you realized that you were finally able to sleep.

Y/N: It started as a cure for insomnia. I didn’t really realize I was addicted to it. But I snuck out to those parties almost every night. None of the band knew but they probably realized something was up.

Karen: I think it was after Y/N started working at this boutique that there was this sudden change in her. She always came in late and during band sessions or gigs she had this energy she never had before. Not that I really complained though, she was playing incredibly well.

Warren: Y/N was always a straight-laced chic. Growing up in Hazelwood and having the parents that she has would do that to a person. When we got to LA she did a complete 180, like I remember times she would leave as I was just coming in from partying.

You quickly adjusted the red leather jacket you had borrowed from Susan, one of the regulars at the parties you went to. The air on the patio was cool against your sweat covered skin. It was a strange thing that had been happening ever since a few weeks ago but you paid it no mind.

Quickly popping an ‘upper’, you were suddenly interrupted by a loud cough. Taking a quick swig of champagne you turned around and were suddenly met with the sight of Billy Dunne standing in front of you.

You really shouldn’t have been so surprised because you had just been one of the many witnesses to Billy’s spiral since the band’s first tour had started.

“Billy.”

“Y/N.”

“You need something?”

“Can I have one of those?”

“One of what?” You asked as you quickly put your little pill box (it was really a hollowed out blush container) back into your coat pocket, pulling out a packet of cigarettes. “I thought the great Billy Dunne always had a packet of cigs on him.”

“You know what I’m talking about Y/N.” He said as he walked up next to you to the cool, metal railing.

“Hmmm really? Cause I really have no idea what you’re talking about.” You gave him a smug little smile as you leaned your head on his denim shirt. You and Billy had never been close but then again drugs always did bond people together.

“Stop trying to be coy.”

“Very well Mr. Bossman. But don’t go around telling people that I’m enabling your bad habits.”

“If you have that special little case then I’m assuming that they’re your bad habits as well.”

“Shhh it’s a secret.” You pressed your finger to your lips as you let out a short giggle before grabbing the blush case and opening it up to showcase the round white little tablets.

“Now that looks like a mighty bad habit.” Billy looked at you with a smirk as you pressed two of the pills in his palm before snapping the case shut and flicking open your lighter.

“See ya Billy.” You gave him a wink before disappearing through the back gate towards the direction of the motel you knew you were staying at.

Billy: Y/N and I enabled each other. We shared a stupid little secret that was slowly eating away at our health and livelihood. I know for a fact that the rest of the band knew I was in a downward spiral but because of that they never realized Y/N was… until it was almost too late.

Y/N: They became essential for me to function. I fucking loved how I felt with all those chemicals in my system as well. I was a more confident, stubborn and cooler version of myself. All those years in Hazelwood created this little saint of a girl who loved to play the bass but in LA I was able to throw away the parts of myself that my parents loved but I hated. So the night that they called before a show, fuck. *you run a hand through your hair and take a quick sip of sparkling water*

You hung up the room’s black telephone angrily. Why did they still have this stupid hold over you? You thumped down on the bed only to find that your back was unable to relax due to a circular object digging into the middle vertebrae. Digging a hand under your silk covered torso you pull out a blush case.

The same dissected blush case that held your stash of pills you had gotten from Mark. Taking your index finger and thumb you pick up one of the cylindrical tablets. The black nail polish that coats your nails contrasts frightfully against the stark white of the pill. Rolling it between your two fingers you carefully hold it up to the light.

“You know what… fuck it.” Your lilting voice echoed through the empty room as you set down the pill onto the glazed wood that your bedside table was made up of. Taking up the glass that still contained a slight layer of whisky on the bottom of it you quickly smash it violently down against the tablet. When you finish making the pill into a fine powder you suddenly realize how little of it there really was.

You could swear that one of these made you feel like you were on the fucking moon. Shrugging you took a couple more out of the case and restarted your process of smashing the white pills into powder.

After a couple more additions it finally seemed like there was finally enough to get you high. Well… higher than you already were before your parent’s phone call.

Sniffing up as much of the powder as you could, you finally felt that familiar bliss. This bliss was getting so, so close to how you felt the first time you tried coke that you went for another hit.

And that hit was otherworldly. You felt like you were experiencing everything all at once and it was just on another level. You fell down against the bed as the world spinned around you. Then a comfortable feeling spreads over your muscles. Untensing every bone and sinew. Darkness started to flood the corners of your eyes.

Ah finally… rest.

Eddie: Y/N and I were pretty close. My parents were best friends with hers so we were kind of pushed together to be best friends as well. So I was the first one to get worried when she didn’t show up for soundcheck. One of the things that she had never missed. Rain, shine or heavy snow, you could always depend on her being there.

Karen: Eddie kind of asked if I knew where Y/N was and I obviously had no idea. So we both decided to just go down to check on her.

Eddie: You know how some of those motels that have a window that faced the railing, well Y/N’s was open. And that is how we found her. She was just lying there, like she was asleep. But she obviously wasn’t.

Karen: Y/N had a bunch of powder covering her face and there was an obviously heavy film of it on the bedside table.

Eddie: I fucking kicked down that door when I realized what was going on. Karen went to run the shower and I started slapping her the hardest I could. Karen started trying to perform CPR.

You suddenly jolted back into your body. Hard. There was liquid running all over your face and everything felt so. fucking. heavy. You cracked open one of your eyelids and were met with blinding light.

“God?”

“No, sweetheart. You just got us.”

Y/N: After I woke up on that bathroom floor with two of my best friends standing over me looking like they had been scared half to death, I knew I needed a change. Teddy got me into this rehab center and I got into therapy. Cut off my parents, got a prescription for anxiety medication and finally fell back in love with music. Obviously not everything was great right away, it was a fucking journey.

It had only been a few days since you had been back from rehab and you were currently curled up next to Karen in her room. You had just gotten off a phone call with one of your old friends from the boutique and she had invited you over to another one of the customary get togethers, which you had to decline for obvious reasons.

“I hate this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think I fucked up my twenties by overdosing and all that shit?”

“Y/N…”

“No, I swear I’m being serious. I wish I was more like you guys. I mean Warren can do drugs daily and he’s still completely fine. Why did I have to go and mess it all up?”

“You know none of that is your fault right? Yeah you might have started because it was fun but it got bad because of factors out of your control. So stop beating yourself up about it.”

“When did you get so smart?” You heard Karen dramatically gasp as she pulled her hand away from where she was running it through your hair.

“I am offended you didn’t think I was smart before.”

“Hey! You know that is not what I meant at all.”

“Yeah sure.”

Y/N: Things got better. Billy got better as well. I got to meet Daisy who has become a lifetime friend but she was also what you could describe as temptation personified. Daisy was everything I wanted to be. I was that girl before I gave up drugs. So yeah I slipped a few times… maybe more than a few.

You took a sip of whisky as you watched Daisy glide around the room as if she were walking on air. And then… a Vogue magazine was thrust in your face. A redhead was holding it towards you with a dreamy smile on her face.

“Want some?” You recalled that night from a few years ago, that night when you experienced your first high.

“Of course.”

Y/N: I didn’t get fully clean until the band broke up. Now I’ve got my 18 year sobriety chip and I own a music store in downtown LA where we also sell clothes. Which I guess are vintage now. *You let out a laugh.* So yeah no more redheads with Vogue magazines for me.

Isabelle: Yeah she just exchanged that for brunettes who are on Vogue covers.

Y/N: Oh shut it darling. *You give Isabelle a quick kiss before turning back to the camera.* So yeah I own a music/clothes store and a beautiful little hou-

Isabelle: Yeah sure let’s call it ‘little’.

Y/N: Oh Isa. *You lean your head on her shoulder.* Ok I co-own a house by the beach with my wonderful and astronomically beautiful girlfriend and 3 dogs. A husky named Hades, a golden retriever named Artemis, although we call her Artie and a mixed border collie named Hestia.

Isabelle: We both have an affinity for Greek mythology as you can see.

Y/N: Yes well we are both gay.

The camera fades out as you both let out laughs with the sunset painting an array of colors in the living room where the documentary is being taped.

taglist: @yesshewrites1 (lmk if you want to be added to any of my taglists)

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sparkles-oflight · 3 months

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Kamila

Hi wrote this during the afternoon when I decided to steal @anxious-witch 's flower post information (thank you for the proof-reading :D) then Kris said something about therapy and all hell went loose (I did. I went insane).

Synopsis: Damon Baker asked Kris to be his model as he saw something that captivated him and he wanted to explore that raw side mixed in with beauty...

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Damon couldn't contain his excitement... Kris was about to work with him. Alone. They would be alone in this room having a photo session.

Kris’ presence captured him...A young gorgeous Slovenian man with such beauty and personality made him melt.

He was so happy... and in love.

- Hey, man. - his model walked in - How are you doing?

- Hello, Kris. - he hugged him - I'm doing great. How are you today?

- I am little nervous. - Damon held his hand.

- I thought you had done photoshoots before. Sit here. - He took Kris to a nearby chair.

- And I have. - Kris took his jacket - But only as part of the band or with my family.

- I see. - Damon took his jacket off and set it aside - Well, lucky for you to have me as your first photographer. I'm a professional, you know.

Kris smiled. And oh God did Damon love that smile.

- Here's what we are going to do.

Damon proceeded to explain the whole project idea, which Kris was totally on board with. Damon wanted to explore Kris' raw side and beauty. He wanted to see how he would look in shades of grey and how his eyes would pop up...

- Oh, make-up too? - Kris said as he closed his eyes.

- Shades of gold for you, love. - Damon used his fingers to spread the eyeshadows on his lids - Gold, for a little sunray like you.

- I don't know why people see me as a sunray honestly.

- Because... - he pondered for a while and then he grabbed a nearby flower he had prepared for the shoot - Do you see this flower? Do you know its name?

- I don't know a lot about flowers - Kris said after softly opening his eyes.

- Ranunculus.

- A what?

- Ranunculus. It represents... - he put it behind Kris' ear - Charm and attraction.

Damon softly smiled as he saw how nicely it fit his subject.

- That's you.

Kris was a bit flustered. Charm and attraction, really? He certainly didn’t see himself like that.

- Oh, we got flowers yesterday.

- Really?

- Well...not exactly. They were for someone named Kamila and the Uber waited for about 15 minutes for someone to pick them up. I ended up taking them in so that the driver wouldn't have problems at work.

- Like the kind soul you are.

Kris and Damon took some pictures with the flower and Damon was impressed by Kris' awareness of the camera. Sure, he was surrounded by them a lot, but a photo shoot is different from a concert.

- Wait, let me fix your hair. - Damon said after he removed the headband from Kris.

He loved the sensation of touching Kris' hair as the younger looked at him straight in the eyes. Kris was just waiting for Damon to be done, but every time Damon looked at his eyes, he felt inspired by their piercing stare.

- Has anyone ever told you are beautiful?

- Yes. - he chuckled - I'm told quite often. Especially on social media.

- And how do you feel about it?

- Sometimes, I believe it's not true.

- Really? And why only sometimes?

Kris went silent.

- I don't like social media much.

- To me it's like my little journal. - he snapped a shot - It helps me document my healing journey. Could you please lift your chin a little bit.

- Uh... - Kris did as he was told - I guess you could call it a journal. - And Damon captured each moment Kris stopped - I guess that’s where all my professional journey is at. But...

He stopped talking again.

- Do you want to take a break? I mean, we are almost done, the last thing I want to do with you involves water.

- I guess I could use a break. - He said with a pout.

- Do you want to drink water?

- Yes, please.

Damon grabbed a bottle he brought and noticed Kris on his phone. His expression changed so quickly. He was smiling again.

Damon was curious and looked over Kris' shoulder. He was on social media.

- So, you say you hate social media, but you can't live without it? - Damon held his waist with one arm and gave him the bottle with the other.

- Thanks. I don't hate it, I just don't like it much. Social media reminds me of my progress and lets me talk to my friends. I just don't understand people's obsession with me. Almost no one knows me.

- And who knows you?

Kris drank some water. Damon took the hint.

- You don't want to talk about it, I get it.

- Damon... - he sighed - I really like you and I would love to get to know you more, but-

- Well, I would love to know you. No "buts". The only one I'll take is yours- Damon winked - Are we ready?

Kris nodded. Damon took him back to the workplace and set up the camera on the tripod.

- I need you to stay a bit closer to the camera.

- I was never asked to be so close to one.

- First time for everything, dear. - Damon, got a chair and climbed it. - The camera will record in 4K and 100fps then I'll go frame by frame and find out where you look best.

- That will take too long!

- Don't worry. I'm a professional. I look at pretty people all the time - he smiled - I'm going to drop some water on you. Small moves and if you want me to stop, just tell me.

- Okay.

Kris behaved so well for someone being bathed with some cold water, half naked on London's winter. Damon had the radiator on, but it was still quite chilly.

He loved seeing Kris' legs exposed and with the body hair up. Chills, a raw sensation. Exactly what Damon looked for.

- And that's a wrap. - he threw him a towel.

- A shame the make-up was ruined - he smiled as he cleaned his eyes.

- Trust me, nothing was ruined, darling. Art doesn’t do such a thing.

Kris started taking off the wet clothes and using the towel to clean himself up.

- How did it feel having your first individual photoshoot?

- Nice honestly... I’m always behind someone’s shadow. – he awkwardly pondered - Having someone’s attention all to me is just...liberating.

Damon looked at him as he dressed up, but he had to know more.

- Kris, can I ask you a question?

- Yeah.

- Who were you talking to earlier? I'm sorry if that's an intrusive question.

- Oh, I was texting Bojan.

That name...Damon adores Bojan, but the way Kris' eyes lit up when he said his name revealed everything: Bojan doesn't want to have the chance to know Kris - he already knows him. And he loves it.

- The guys are doing a Livestream of them cooking and I wished them good luck.

- I see... Are they that bad?

- Help me, I've been eating out most days they can only cook mashed potatoes.

- Haha! - Damon loved this boy's humor - I'll take you out someday.

- Thank you. Guess I have to go now. - he was finally dressed up - I have to take care of some passport things.

- I understand. Goodbye, then.

- Bye! I would love to do this again!

Kris started leaving but Damon had to call out for him once more.

- Ka-! - Damon stopped himself.

- Uh? - he turned around - What did you say?

- Ah...Kris - he got closer and kissed him on the cheek - I hope you have everything you ever wish for.

- Uh... okay? - Kris smiled softly, but was confused as Damon held his hands - Thanks?

- Tell Bojan he's the luckiest man in the world to have you.

- Thanks, I wil- wait, what? - Kris was astounded by how easy he was to read.

- Go take care of your passport because it's quite late right now. - He turned Kris around and slapped his ass - BYE, KRIS!

Kris laughed as he left and waved to Damon.

"I hope he treats you right, Kamila".

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

This is a BoKris fic disguised as a Damon and Kris fic

MASTER POST | Recommended next: Traces of kisses behind closed doors

#joker out #joker out fanfic #fanfics #fanfic #kris gustin #kris guštin #damon baker #bokris

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swampstew · 1 year

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Blind Date Event ~ Franky X Reader

Thank you to everyone who submitted applications for my Blind Date Matchmaking Event. I hope you enjoy these lovely bedtime stories during this week of overpriced chocolates, flowers and heart shaped things. Happy Franky Friday to my boo @icy-spicy I hope you're prepared for all this man. Have fun on your date, make good choices♥

Mostly fluff, SFW, Franky X Female reader, first blind date experience. WC:1.1K. Minors DNI - my content is for mature audiences only

You were applying the last of your mascara when you heard knocking on your door. Standing against the doorframe was a massive yet sexy man. Despite his tall stature, blue pompadour hairstyle , scarred body with clear cybernetic enhancements, Franky had the most secure and confident aura you’d ever seen in a man. And not in a haughty arrogant way either as you were used to. Just pure sex appeal wearing artsy beach shorts and a tight-fitting designer tank top.

“_______, it’s nice to meet you! My name is Franky,” his massive, muscled bicep bulged as he pointed to himself in introduction. “I’m here to take you on a super awesome first date. I hope you’re ready for some fun!”

He held out his arm for you and you eagerly took it, letting him help you into his shock blue F-150.

“It’s electric,” he smirked as the car powered to life.

A fashionista and environmentally conscious? Franky was checking off a lot of boxes you weren’t sure you even had.

The two of you played the ice breaker games in your matchmaking pamphlet as Franky drove to your date destination. He was being coy about your date details but you decided to let him surprise you; you were always down for a good time. The half hour car drive was a lot of fun as the two of you learned about each other and then sang out loud to classic pop songs from your earlier years.

You noticed that the streets became more vacant, the neighborhoods a little more abandoned when you finally caught sight of the flashing lights behind one seemingly destitute building.

“It’s nothing shady or anything like that,” Franky explained. “I told you I’m a mechanic and this here is the very first test run of my company’s newest electric car models. Specifically for racing.”

“This area was unfortunately gentrified a few decades ago and the gross cost of living forced everyone out. Once the people were gone, so were the businesses. Now, we’re using it to test our newest engines since its virtually free of any civilians so we can contain damage control. Plus, no shitty cops around to bust up our fun!”

“So you’re telling me that you’ve gone and created whole ass electric racing cars?” you asked with your pitch getting slightly higher as you processed his words. Electric cars were only just becoming more normalized where you live but to hear of them being upgraded to become racing cars just seemed impossible.

He chuckled, “Yeah that’s right. The idea is to eradicate the use of fossil fuels and reduce carbon emissions. Right now, we can charge each of these puppies up in 15 minutes tops and your ride will last about 60 minutes. But the real secret is its hydrogen fuel cell and fan system. The winds generated feeds the fuel cell with oxygen AND generates enough downforce to provide ample traction for high speeds.” He brushed his nose with a grin.

“Damn Franky are you some kind of genius?”

Franky flushed, swaying in place as you walked towards the event. “Ahhh yer just saying that, it’s real nice though. Well, I guess I technically am a member of Mens—"

“Hey Big Bro Franky!! C’mon we’re all ready to start!” some of his assistants and employees were beckoning you both with excitement. Everyone was holding colas in their hands.

“So, _______. How about it? You wanna…go on a test run?”

“Ummmm hello?! Fuck yeah!”

Maybe the car was a bit small due to it being a test car, or maybe Franky was just that bulky and you hadn’t noticed while seated in his roomy truck. Either way, you tucked your knees to your chest and squealed as the racing began.

Loop after loop, challenge after challenge, you and Franky were leaving everyone behind with a wave of debris. The car was sleek and ran surprisingly smooth, probably better than your best traditional car ever did. After an hour, the battery indicator ended the racing and Franky drove it back to the starting line; winning the final race of the night.

He helped you out of the car and you were both given ice cold colas. Franky clinked his bottle against yours and took a huge gulp. Puffing his chest out, he let out an excited cry at the success of the testing.

You were having so much fun and it wasn’t even over. The company were going to host a bonfire and party right there in the lot.

“______, I know this is supposed to be a date and all, so I am sorry that this was also technically a work event for me. We can head out and do our own thing or we can hang out here too. Whatever fits your fancy.”

You thought it over for a moment, “I am down to party with your crew and then maybe we can sneak away?”

“You’re super, _____. I like how easy it is to get along with you and your openness to try new things. I promise we’ll sneak away sooner rather than later.”

Franky was true to his word. You spent maybe half an hour partying with his friends before he slunk an arm over your shoulder and took you to the truck. He only drove a few blocks away before shutting the engine off and taking you to the truck bed. He laid out a giant blanket and some plush cushions in the back along with his guitar, a small radio and a cooler of you guessed it, more cola.

You spend the night cuddling as you stargazed, enjoying each other’s company. Listening to cozy music on the radio at first, Franky surprised you when he began playing covers on his guitar, which turned into the both of you doing acoustic karaoke. Before you knew it, it was well past midnight and he prepared to take you home.

He stood in your threshold, making sure you entered your home safely before he could properly end the date.

“I had a great time with you, _____. Would I be coming on too strong if I asked to kiss you goodnight?”

That was cute. The man had practically oozed charisma and confidence so it was nice to see him squirm a little. Instead of answering you looked him straight in the eyes as a smirk grew on your face, and you winked.

A bashful look overcame his face and he eagerly leaned down, one hand caressing your chin and cheek as he planted a surprisingly gentle kiss on your lips. A dazed and content look on his face as he stood back up.

“Call me when you’re ready to take me out again,” you winked again as you slowly close the door.

From the other side of the wooden barrier, you could hear him yell out. “You bet I will!” Followed by the muffled sound of something being smacked. “SUPER!!”

#happy franky friday #cyborg franky #blind date event #swampstew bedtime stories #franky x reader #one piece franky #franky op #franky the cyborg #franky x you #franky x y/n #swampstew #swampstew stories #franky #reader insert #op franky

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thatsassythingg · 1 year

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Time to ‘Come As You Are’ with Emily Nagoski — thatsassything

“Is that what I think it is?”, my brother quipped looking at the rather suggestive cover of Emily Nagoski’s celebrated read on female sexuality, ‘Come As You Are’. When I asked him what he thinks, his response was straightforward, followed by a slight smirk, “An open zipper pouch that looks like a vagina. Sneaky, haha.” “That could be the vulva, you know”, I replied. And, that was the beginning of a 15-minute-ish conversation on how the vulva and vagina are different, and how the clitoris is far more complex than just a little hood. Trust me, I wouldn’t have been this comfortable talking to my brother about, well, my anatomy. But, thanks to books like ‘Come As You Are’, that communication gap may be bridged in time to come.

As detailed and comprehensive as it can be, ‘Come As You Are’ is hands-down one of the deepest dives I’ve taken into the literary world making sense of desire, arousal, intimacy, and pleasure from a feminist lens. Some see it as a sex handbook, others as a self-help guide and it’s even been referred to as “a master class in the science of sex”. To me, it was a technically nuanced read on the curriculum of a course I desperately want to get enrolled in. For a person who has two degrees in Psychology, and is eager to learn about pleasure and sexuality from a modern feminist perspective day in and out, I really admire the emphasis laid upon the psychology of sexual experiences (not just the physicalities of it) as being lived by women or people with vulvas.

While reading, I came across an activity wherein you had to describe and break down the good, better, not-so-great, and worse sexual experiences — right from personal characteristics to relationship dynamics and settings. As a self-proclaimed nerd, I asked my partner to attempt this one with regard to our experiences together. Of course, it was fun and downright juicy, but we were able to take a look at each other’s responses and understand how different or similar our mutual (and, individual) pleasure looks. It was also interesting to see how there were certain things I did that turned him on, that I was completely unaware of. He even took my page home to ‘work on the feedback’! The point is — even though you might sometimes feel lost in the vernaculars and the theories, the flow of the book is such that it grips your attention with relatable pop references, resulting in a fine balance. You can make this book your own, and that makes it a wholesome part of your bedroom library.

What REALLY works well…

Let’s start with the basics — or as Emily puts it, “the [not-so-basic] basics” section of the book where she takes the reader through a journey of embracing their bits down there — right from the lips to the clit and even the Skene’s Glands (the part responsible for female ejaculation, or squirting), Emily gave each part of the vulva (and genital anatomy that goes beyond that) the limelight that it needs. Fun fact: did you know that Skene’s Glands were named after a man? I didn’t and now that I do, I think I know why ‘Come As You Are’ has played a pivotal role in realigning and adding the much-needed (and, missing) context to female pleasure. I picked up on this lovely quote from a chapter based on intersex anatomy, “You’ve all got the same parts, just organized in your own unique way.” The power this line holds is great in a way that it normalizes genitals, yours and mine, while also holding space for both. The subtle and smart usage of the metaphor ‘garden’ to describe our sexual ‘hardware’ adds a psychosocial context to how we’re taught to perceive our anatomy.

“Turn on the ons, turn off the offs” — by using the terms ‘accelerator’ and ‘brake’ to describe how our brain interprets sexual response, Emily broke down the Dual Control Model of Arousal as introduced by Kinsey Institute. By this theory, women tend to work towards accelerating their sexual desire without completely understanding how to let up on the brakes when needed. Though the technical aspects may feel a bit overwhelming at times, Emily has described this book as ‘the science-based way of thinking about women’s sexual wellbeing.’ So, if you’re someone who’s eager to load up on female sexuality fact-checks, you’ve come to the right place.

For more information visit : https://thatsassything.com/blogs/sassy-stuff/book-review-come-as-you-are-by-emily-nagoski

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anglocatholicboyo · 1 year

Text

broke down today. he was in the room with me. we were ignoring eachother; we focused on our work. its not so much that I am saddened or pained by him, but rather that I am so overcome with confusion and anxiety when I am near him that I can hardly function. what is he thinking about me? do he even think about me? since we never communicate, i certainly have no control over his impression of me. naturally, I had my headphones on - organ music at full blast. mostly handel but with a bit of mendelssohn too. always the same one: the second movement from the first organ sonata; adagio. my comfort piece. all I was doing was working, getting shit done, no biggie. Sir looks at me. he comes from chatting with an alumna who's visiting (she's on her reading weak at university). he's trying to say something, I can't make it out, I've got my headphones on. at this point I am already stressed. in between each piece of cardboard I stuck to the model I was taking breaks to stim my stress away, furiously pounding my shoulder and neck with my thumb, and shaking my wrists by my sides. Sir pointed at my model, I took out my headphones. he spoke, but I didn't understand. just my luck. the words aren't processing. by the time I've made sense of his words I am already stressed out. I can hear the loud organ music blasting from my left headphone. I can hear someone typing. I can hear the alumna still talking to Sir. I can hear him walking back to his seat. what did Sir even say? some bullshit like 'get on with it'. I already was getting on with it. but by the time I had understood Sir, he had repeated himself again. too much. all at once. 'fuck this', I shouted. and off to the toilet again, to sit on the floor for 15 minutes with my hands over my ears. such fun.

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fightxxmexxshiggy · 3 years

Text

Work from home

BAKUGOU x female reader

Word count 2200

TW: cervix play, degradation, implied threesomes.

Ugh why did you decide running was going to be your exercise for this bet?! Really the bounce of you breasts was gonna knock you into a coma before you made it to the 30 day goal. You wanted to give up or even try to negotiate for a different exercise but you knew your friends would poke fun at you if you whined about this to them. Steeling your nerves you hit the hill in front of you with a jumping sort of run hoping it would make the trek upwards a little easier. This was a mistake that you might never forgive yourself for. Your knees hated you, your breasts were screaming for the torture to end, to top it off the sweat running down your back decided to drip between your ass cheeks causing the nastiest feel ever.

Finally giving up on making it up the hill in one shot you wandered to the side of the path. Sitting on the nearest flat rock you took some deep breaths with your head through back in Hope's more air would come to your overworked lungs. After about five minutes you had calmed enough to stretch a bit so you didn't start cramping randomly. Catching the sound of footfalls your eyes shot open to watch as the most jaw droppingly sexy man you had seen in months jog up to you. Fucking. Shirtless. Letting your eyes devour that incredible expanse of skin you almost didn't hear him address you.

" hey Dumbass you hurt or something?" Immediately getting irritated at the insult you growl out an assurance of your wellbeing and go back to stretching. For what ever reason the rude, attractive man comes to a full stop in front of you. Refusing to look up at him you instead stretch your arms above your head and roll your hips to crack your lower back. Slowly lowering your arms to sit behind you, your eyes open to see the man still standing there as if waiting for you. That is kind of weird so you stare at his face daring him to try something. With a hum he grins and crouches down so that your eye level. " I like you attitude, tell me are you busy after this?"

Shock took over your expression as he laughed, waiting for you to answer. Why would someone who looks like a prize fighter wanna spend time with you? Not to say that you weren't beautiful but you had curves that would make you a pinup girl not the clothing model men like him are usually seen with. The disbelief must have over powered the shock on your face because his grin shifted into a smirk. Standing back to his full height the man stalked to where you sat. Leaning over you he placed his hands right beside where yours rested. The move put his chin on your shoulders and his lips right on your ear.

" you really have no fucking poker face babe. I'll be straight with you, you are exactly my type. I wanna take you back to my place right now and wreck that pussy like it deserves." The feeling of his breath on your ear as he spoke gave you chills. His words hit you right in your core, a moan slipping from your mouth before you could stop it. He let out an animalistic growl before licking the length of your neck. Jerking back you stared into his eyes unsure but more and more interested in his proposal by the minute. Slowly he lowered his lips to yours, the kiss started of gently as if he was seeking something. After a few moments the gentle kiss turned savage almost like he was trying to show you what fucking him would be like. Whining deep in your throat you sucked on his tongue when he thrust it past your teeth. The move had him pulling back from the kiss and yanking you up the rock to rest flush against his muscled body.

" Tell me yes Dumbass I won't take you unless I hear it from your mouth." Using your closeness you trail your hands down his sides to rest against his hips. With your nails you trace a swirling pattern to his lower back before pressing down to leave light scratches from right above his ass all the way to his shoulders. The groan that left his mouth only made your pussy gush more juice onto the seam of your workout leggings. Once his eyes met yours you smiled sweetly. " yes but only if you tell me your name first."

Laughing he pulled away from you, grabbing your hand as he dragged you up what was left of the damned hill. With a quick smirk over his shoulder he shot out a quick " Katsuki Bakugou." You mumbled out your name between panting breaths as the completely unwinded man continued to drag you up what you were now calling the hill of hell. Before walking the rest of the way to the parking area, still holding your hand by the way. Stopping in front of what you assumed was his car he turned to you. "Ride with me or follow in yours?" Blushing you mumbled that you'd follow him in your car. Nodding in approval he walked you to your car a couple spots away. Unlocking your car you went to open the door only to have Katsuki stop you. With a hand on the nape of your neck he pulled you into a searing kiss unbothered by the few other people milling around.

Ending the kiss he leaned in close to whisper in your ear. " keep that pussy wet for me babe. I'm hungry and I plan to make you my meal." Well this was so not how you expected to end your daily workout but so far you were not fucking disappointed. Sexy asshole eating you out was a much better after run reward than the peice of chocolate cake in your fridge back home. Getting into your car and on the road behind Katsuki you followed him the 15 minutes drive to his place. Seeing the beautiful brownstone had your nerves launching into overdrive. Were you really about to fuck a man you met 30 minutes at a park? Watching him get out of his car and stalk over to your you realized that yes you were going to fuck this man because it would be a sin if you didn't.

Not one to go against the universe you let him open your door and help you from behind the wheel. Slamming the door shut he pressed your back to it and once again fucked your mouth with tantalizingly long tongue. Finally he had his fill of your mouth and slung an arm around your waist as he walked you up the stairs and into his impressively clean home. Shoes were kicked off at the door and clothes were pulled of with haste. In the bedroom the two of you fell onto the bed in a tangled mess of need. Crawling back until he was kneeling on the floor with your ass on the edge of the bed to give him access to the soaked hole between your pussy lips he growled.

"Look at this slutty little hole, leaking everywhere it needs to be punished." With one hand he held open your folds, with the other he layed a series of light smacks on your clit. The action only cause more juice to flow from your hole dripping down your cheeks onto the comforter below. Sticking out his tongue Katsuki licked a path through your juices to your abused clit. With sucking kisses he soothed away the small pain he had inflicted. Sucking harder he ran small circles around your clit with the tip of his tongue. Slowly he inserted two fingers into your pussy curling and thrusting them against the sensitive tissue. The fingers stroking against your gspot driving you closer to the finish line. Suddenly Katsuki shoved his fingers deeper until the tips brushed your cervix. The sensation like nothing you had ever felt, your hips jerked had nearly dislodging his mouth. With a growl he wrapped his free arm around your hips and gripped hard.

The arm around your hips should have been a warning but seriously how were you to know the man was a damn pussy master. Sucking and running his teeth over your clit he rubbed circles around your cervix until he hit a never before touched spot inside you. That was it he hit jackpot as you came screaming, squirting uncontrollably into his mouth as he moaned and drank happily. When you finally came back to your body you fell limp, muscles unclenching from their locked state.

"So good for me baby, so sweet and tasty, gonna fuck you till this pussy begs me to own it." The praise and promises flowing from his usually cocky mouth made your womb twitch something that relight your desire instantly. Whining you reached for his cock intent on getting a taste before he got inside you, you were 99% sure he would not be taking it from your pussy anytime soon once he worked his way in. " you want a taste of this cock little slut? Only a taste though I've got a some demolition to do." Kneeling by your head he ran the tip of his angry red cock across your lips. Tongue peeking out you licked the slit tasting the salty precum that had gathered there. Opening wide you sucked in as much of him as he would allow, lips stretched, tongue swirling and rubbing the underside. Katsuki threw Back his head groaning at the sweet suction. Pulling from your mouth with a loud pop pushed you to the middle of the bed.

Smooth his hands over your legs he caught the underside of your knees in a firm grip. Knees pushed to your chest framing your breasts in a breathtakingly sexual display he stared at you until you understood what he wanted. Taking hold of your legs you kept them in the position he demanded and watching as he rubbed his cock head through your folds stopping at every upward swipe to tap against your clit. Lining his cock up he fit the head into your hole. With measured strokes he worked every inch into your nearly too tight pussy. Crying out with every stroke it took all your strength to keep your legs in your hands. Finally he bottomed out, so big inside you that it felt like you would split in two. Leaning forward Katsuki gripped the sheets by your head as he started to thrust slow and deep. "Keep those pretty eyes on me baby, I wanna watch you break."

Each thrust had his cock head kissing your cervix, the pleasure threatening to make your eyes roll back in your head. All of the was too much you felt to open but everytime you went to close your eyes he would growl and pound into your pussy. Angrily saying "look at me slut." Until you would scream as an orgasm washed over you, eyes flying open with the shock of the intensity. As soon as you would look at him he would go back to his slow deep thrusts, sometimes catching your lips in a tongue fucking kiss. You had cum so much that you could barely see, vision foggy with pleasure. Unexpectedly katsuki stopped his strokes to stare at you. " baby I need a little favor from you." With effort you focused your eyes on his face and nodded your assent to horse from screaming to speak properly.

" I need you to be a good girl and take my cum."

With no other warning than that Katsuki pounded into your pussy, slamming against your cervix while you wailed his nail to the ceiling. On his final thrust he bottomed out grinding himself against your clit until you once again squirted for him, only this time he was cuming deep inside you flooding your womb with his hot load. No strength left in any of your limbs you let your legs fall as he rested his head between your breasts, trying to catch his breath while you tried to figure out if your still had lungs at all. In the distance you thought you heard a door open and close but you couldn't be sure with the limited brain function you had at the moment. A few moments later your question was answered as a red headed man with sharp teeth leaned a shoulder against the door.

"Damn bakubro you brought home a whole meal after your run didn't you. Think I can have a taste?"

The little clench those words elicited in your pussy had Katsuki's head shooting up off your chest to look at you. Blushing furiously you tried to look anywhere but at him. With a groan he slowly pulled his cock from you , his cum dripping out of your hole slowly. " her pussy seems to say yes but why don't you let us clean up a bit and we can see what her mouth says, shitty hair." Oh you were fuck quite literally.

#katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou smut #bakugou fanfiction #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima smut #kirishima ejiro x reader #mha smut #bnha simping hours #bnha smut

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sincerelyella · 3 years

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My Person (Liam x MC)

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Song Inspiration: My Person by Spencer Crandall

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella) Summary: A one shot of my favorite couple - it’s Liam and Ella’s anniversary and there are big plans in store.

A/N: Okay, I’m gonna be very honest, I am super nervous about posting again. I wrote this maybe last week and kind of finished it earlier today. Thank you to those that I vented to about actually posting my stories, not sure why I feel really sick right now. New blog name (used to be @callmeellabella), new post LOL and I didn’t really know who to tag since it’s been a long time so I’m using my old list. Please let me know if you want off.

A/N2: Participating in @wackydrabbles this week. Prompt will be in bold.

Thank you @alyssalauren and @ofpixelsandscribbles for reading through this for me and kind of handing me that invisible paper bag for me to breathe in. Love y'all!

Warnings: Fluffs. A lot of fluffs.

Words: 1658

Isaiah and Noelle grinned as they filmed their parents in the seat in front of them, holding hands. After 15 years of marriage, Liam and Ella were the epitome of the best partners to each other and parents to their children. There were rough times, of course, you can’t escape those, but the King and Queen handled things in stride.

Noelle’s eyes filled with tears when she watched her dad lift her mom’s hand to his mouth and kiss her knuckles. The way he looked at Ella, like she was the only woman in the world, made Noelle have very high standards for a future partner for herself.

Isaiah grew up knowing how you were supposed to treat a woman, and it was all modeled from how his dad treated his mom. At 15 years old, he grew up in the public eye, but thankfully, his parents allowed him to have a normal childhood. The only time there was mention of royalty was a gala or a ball held at the palace; his Uncle Leo, Max, and Drake as well as his Aunt Olivia and parents all dressed up.

It was their parent’s anniversary that day and Liam had planned a family dinner, just the four of them.

One week ago

“Hey guys,” Liam smiled as he watched his kids sitting at the kitchen island doing homework.

“Hey, dad.” “Hi, daddy.”

Liam hung his keys on the wall by the door and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Next week is mine and your mother’s anniversary.”

Noelle and Isaiah stopped what they were doing and met their father’s gaze.

“I … was hoping you could help me with something,” his brows rounded as he stared at them.

“Sure, what did you need?” Noelle asked.

Isaiah chewed his bottom lip. “No pranks though, right dad?”

Liam chuckled, remembering that anniversary and how it went … so wrong. “No, son. No pranks. Plus, your Uncle Maxwell is not invited until later.”

Present-day

“Guys, we’re here,” Liam turned to Noelle and Isaiah and widened his eyes at them, the two nodding back with small smiles. Ella missed the entire silent exchange as she climbed out of the black SUV after Bastien opened her door.

Everyone piled into the restaurant, all of them laughed and cried as the kids asked for a cake to be presented to their parents to celebrate their special day.

“How beautiful,” Ella wiped her tears away as she gazed at the red velvet bundt cake covered in cream cheese frosting. “Was this your doing?” She turned to her husband as he smiled.

“No, love, that was them,” he gestured towards Noelle and Isaiah.

“Thank you,” she used a tissue to dab at both her eyes.

“Fifteen years is a long time to be married, ma,” Isaiah dimpled as he looked from his mom to his dad. “Now hurry up and eat it so that we can have a piece!”

The family laughed and dug into the cake. An hour later, they slowly stood from the table, grumbling about how full they were.

“Oh God, why didn’t you stop me?” Isaiah smacked his sister in the arm.

Noelle glared at her brother and punched him in the arm. “It’s not my fault you ate like you never saw food before.”

“Why did you say that?” Isaiah whined.

Liam and Ella walked behind their children, smirking at each other.

“They’re so dramatic,” Ella snorted.

“Wonder who they got that from?” Liam arched a brow at his wife.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Your Majesty.”

“Love,” Liam waited until she turned to look at him. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Where? What is it?”

“Come on,” he tugged on her hand and led her out of the restaurant and into the waiting SUV.

“Where are we going?”

“Ma, just wait, we’ll get there in a minute,” Noelle giggled in the back seat.

“You guys know too?” Ella looked from her son to her daughter and back again. “Liam?”

“Just relax, love, we’ll be there soon,” he squeezed her hand and laughed as her nose wrinkled in annoyance.

A few minutes later, Bastien turned into a small, private area for vehicles to park. “We’re here,” he said and turned to smirk at Ella. “Your Majesty, we’re going to blindfold you.”

“You’re … what?!”

Isaiah cackled as he leaned forward to wrap a scarf around his mother’s eyes.

“That’s blocking my nose,” Ella complained. “I can’t breathe.”

“You can breathe out of your mouth.”

“Isaiah Alexander,” she said sternly and he jumped.

“Sorry mom,” he mumbled as he fixed the scarf so it only covered her eyes.

“Okay,” Liam opened the door to her side of the SUV. “Come on, love, I’m carrying you to our destination.”

Ella let out a long sigh and reached up to feel her husband’s neck. She allowed him to carry her bridal style to … wherever they were going. When her family got like this it was usually because of her husband, who loved to take her places to surprise her. She didn’t mind, honestly, but it was annoying when everyone was in on it except for her.

“We’re almost there, love, I promise,” she felt Liam kiss the top of her head and she snuggled into his shoulder.

“Hey, I got a picture from Uncle Max!” Noelle opened the message and gasped.

Isaiah reached for his sister’s phone. “Is it another picture of him and his peacock Lady and the Tramping some spaghetti?”

Everyone began to laugh.

“I can’t believe that damn thing didn’t peck his eye out,” Ella snorted.

“That thing still scares the crap out of me,” Noelle said as her fingers flew over the keys.

“We’re here,” Liam smiled as he began to step down onto the large rocks towards the private beach.

“Don’t drop me, Liam,” Ella said as she lifted her nose to the air. “I smell the ocean.” She felt her husband lower her to the ground. “What now? I’m still wearing this.”

A moment of silence and some giggling in the distance made Ella furrow her brows.

“Okay, take off the scarf, love.”

Ella quickly undid the knot and opened her eyes; she faced the ocean. “Liam, what-”

“Turn around.”

As she did, she saw her husband on one knee, her children behind him in the distance carrying an old 1989 boombox, the song My Person by Spencer Crandall playing.

I was lookin' for a long time

I never found nobody like you

I got your name, got your number

And we talked 'til they turned on the lights

“A boombox?”

Liam smirked. “You made me watch Sixteen Candles.”

“Oh yeah,” she chuckled. “Liam,” Ella had tears streaming down her face and she wiped them away quickly. “Wh-what is this?”

He took hold of her free hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. “Love, it’s our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We married that long ago.”

She nodded, the lump on her throat making it difficult for her to speak.

“But we were together before that,” he smiled up at her. “I met you and I was done for, I haven't looked at anyone else since. You came to my social season, I chose you, we were engaged for a year, and then here we are.”

My person

My heartbeat

My slow dance

My Sunday-morning-sippin'-on-coffee in bed

My know-when-you-know best friend

“You’re my person,” Liam bit his bottom lip to control his emotions. “You and the kids are my everything, and you know I’d give all this up for you if you asked.”

“We don’t want that though!” Noelle yelled and they all laughed.

“Ella Brooks Rys, I wanted to ask you if you would remarry me,” he reached into his pocket, pulled out a black velvet box, and opened it. “Renew our vows and our commitment to each other.”

The box held three rings, an emerald-shaped, 6-carat diamond solitaire in the middle, and one plain platinum band on each side of it. One was engraved with Isaiah Alexander and the other with Noelle Marie.

“Of course,” Ella choked out as Liam smiled and the kids jumped up and down.

My saving grace, my everything

I’ve never been more sure that you’re my person

Every minute is a long time

If I ain’t holding on to you

Liam pushed all three rings onto her finger. “You ready, Mrs. Rys?”

“I am, Mr. Rys,” she pulled her husband to her and captured his lips in a passionate kiss.

“Ew, gross!” “Stop! This is not part of the plan!”

“Congratulations!”

Ella was surprised by that last one and turned towards the sound. All of their friends and family were there on the beach, smiling at them.

“What are-”

“You guys are renewing your vows!” Leo hollered and lifted a bottle of champagne in the air. “Let’s get this going so we can get druuuunk!”

“Leo!” Liam snapped at his brother.

“I mean, I’m ready when you are.”

Hana and Olivia rushed towards Ella and hugged her. “Were you surprised?”

“I was,” Ella sniffled. “You guys all knew?”

“Yup!”

“My little blossom! You are so beautiful! Let me see the rings!”

Ella gave Max her left hand.

“Whatever you do, don’t let Beaumont touch it. I’m sure he’s got lasagna all under his fingernails,” Drake chuckled as he approached the group.

“Hey marshmallow,” Ella turned to hug him. “And you guys had lasagna without me?”

Liam laughed and put an arm around Noelle and Isaiah. “You guys ready?”

They both nodded.

“I’m ready to marry your mother again,” they all laughed as Ella put her arm around Isaiah. “Let’s go!”

My saving grace, my everything

I've never been more sure that you're my person

Yeah, baby, you're my person

#My Person #Liam x MC #Liam x Ella #the royal romance #the royal romance fandom #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance fanfiction #trr au #the royal romance au #trr fandom #trr fanfic #trr fanfiction #Sincerely Ella #Ella still writes #Liam Rys #King Liam

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antiporn-activist · 3 years

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The Children of Pornhub

Why does Canada allow this company to profit off videos of exploitation and assault?

By Nicholas Kristof, Opinion Columnist, Dec. 4, 2020, New York Times

This article contains descriptions of sexual assault. It’s also really long.

Pornhub prides itself on being the cheery, winking face of naughty, the website that buys a billboard in Times Square and provides snow plows to clear Boston streets. It donates to organizations fighting for racial equality and offers steamy content free to get people through Covid-19 shutdowns.

Yet there’s another side of the company: Its site is infested with rape videos. It monetizes child rapes, revenge pornography, spy cam videos of women showering, racist and misogynist content, and footage of women being asphyxiated in plastic bags. A search for “girls under18” (no space) or “14yo” leads in each case to more than 100,000 videos. Most aren’t of children being assaulted, but too many are.

After a 15-year-old girl went missing in Florida, her mother found her on Pornhub — in 58 sex videos. Sexual assaults on a 14-year-old California girl were posted on Pornhub and were reported to the authorities not by the company but by a classmate who saw the videos. In each case, offenders were arrested for the assaults, but Pornhub escaped responsibility for sharing the videos and profiting from them.

Pornhub is like YouTube in that it allows members of the public to post their own videos. A great majority of the 6.8 million new videos posted on the site each year probably involve consenting adults, but many depict child abuse and nonconsensual violence. Because it’s impossible to be sure whether a youth in a video is 14 or 18, neither Pornhub nor anyone else has a clear idea of how much content is illegal.

Unlike YouTube, Pornhub allows these videos to be downloaded directly from its website. So even if a rape video is removed at the request of the authorities, it may already be too late: The video lives on as it is shared with others or uploaded again and again.

“Pornhub became my trafficker,” a woman named Cali told me. She says she was adopted in the United States from China and then trafficked by her adoptive family and forced to appear in pornographic videos beginning when she was 9. Some videos of her being abused ended up on Pornhub and regularly reappear there, she said.

“I’m still getting sold, even though I’m five years out of that life,” Cali said. Now 23, she is studying in a university and hoping to become a lawyer — but those old videos hang over her.

“I may never be able to get away from this,” she said. “I may be 40 with eight kids, and people are still masturbating to my photos.”

“You type ‘Young Asian’ and you can probably find me,” she added.

Actually, maybe not. Pornhub recently was offering 26,000 videos in response to that search. That doesn’t count videos that show up under “related searches” that Pornhub suggests, including “young tiny teen,” “extra small petite teen,” “tiny Asian teen” or just “young girl.” Nor does it necessarily count videos on a Pornhub channel called “exploited teen Asia.”

I came across many videos on Pornhub that were recordings of assaults on unconscious women and girls. The rapists would open the eyelids of the victims and touch their eyeballs to show that they were nonresponsive.

Pornhub profited this fall from a video of a naked woman being tortured by a gang of men in China. It is monetizing video compilations with titles like “Screaming Teen,” “Degraded Teen” and “Extreme Choking.” Look at a choking video and it may suggest also searching for “She Can’t Breathe.”

It should be possible to be sex positive and Pornhub negative.

Pornhub declined to make executives available on the record, but it provided a statement. “Pornhub is unequivocally committed to combating child sexual abuse material, and has instituted a comprehensive, industry-leading trust and safety policy to identify and eradicate illegal material from our community,” it said. Pornhub added that any assertion that the company allows child videos on the site “is irresponsible and flagrantly untrue.”

II.

At 14, Serena K. Fleites was an A student in Bakersfield, Calif., who had never made out with a boy. But in the eighth grade she developed a crush on a boy a year older, and he asked her to take a naked video of herself. She sent it to him, and this changed her life.

He asked for another, then another; she was nervous but flattered. “That’s when I started getting strange looks in school,” she remembered. He had shared the videos with other boys, and someone posted them on Pornhub.

Fleites’s world imploded. It’s tough enough to be 14 without having your classmates entertain themselves by looking at you naked, and then mocking you as a slut. “People were texting me, if I didn’t send them a video, they were going to send them to my mom,” she said.

The boy was suspended, but Fleites began skipping class because she couldn’t bear the shame. Her mother persuaded Pornhub to remove the videos, and Fleites switched schools. But rumors reached the new school, and soon the videos were uploaded again to Pornhub and other websites.

Fleites quarreled with her mother and began cutting herself. Then one day she went to the medicine cabinet and took every antidepressant pill she could find.

Three days later, she woke up in the hospital, frustrated to be still alive. Next she hanged herself in the bathroom; her little sister found her, and medics revived her.

As Fleites spiraled downward, a friend introduced her to meth and opioids, and she became addicted to both. She dropped out of school and became homeless.

At 16, she advertised on Craigslist and began selling naked photos and videos of herself. It was a way to make a bit of money, and maybe also a way to punish herself. She thought, “I’m not worth anything any more because everybody has already seen my body,” she told me.

Those videos also ended up on Pornhub. Fleites would ask that they be removed. They usually would be, she says — but then would be uploaded again. One naked video of her at 14 had 400,000 views, she says, leaving her afraid to apply for fast-food jobs for fear that someone would recognize her.

So today Fleites, 19, off drugs for a year but unemployed and traumatized, is living in her car in Bakersfield, along with three dogs that have proved more loyal and loving than the human species. She dreams of becoming a vet technician but isn’t sure how to get there. “It’s kind of hard to go to school when you’re living in a car with dogs,” she said.

“I was dumb,” she acknowledged, noting that she had never imagined that the videos could be shared online. “It was one small thing that a teenager does, and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger.

“A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

III.

The problem goes far beyond one company. Indeed, a rival of Pornhub, XVideos, which arguably has even fewer scruples, may attract more visitors. Depictions of child abuse also appear on mainstream sites like Twitter, Reddit and Facebook. And Google supports the business models of companies that thrive on child molestation.

Google returns 920 million videos on a search for “young porn.” Top hits include a video of a naked “very young teen” engaging in sex acts on XVideo along with a video on Pornhub whose title is unprintable here.

I asked the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to compile the number of images, videos and other content related to child sexual exploitation reported to it each year. In 2015, it received reports of 6.5 million videos or other files; in 2017, 20.6 million; and in 2019, 69.2 million.

Facebook removed 12.4 million images related to child exploitation in a three-month period this year. Twitter closed 264,000 accounts in six months last year for engaging in sexual exploitation of children. By contrast, Pornhub notes that the Internet Watch Foundation, an England-based nonprofit that combats child sexual abuse imagery, reported only 118 instances of child sexual abuse imagery on its site over almost three years, seemingly a negligible figure. “Eliminating illegal content is an ongoing battle for every modern content platform, and we are committed to remaining at the forefront,” Pornhub said in its statement.

The Internet Watch Foundation couldn’t explain why its figure for Pornhub is so low. Perhaps it’s because people on Pornhub are inured to the material and unlikely to report it. But if you know what to look for, it’s possible to find hundreds of apparent child sexual abuse videos on Pornhub in 30 minutes. Pornhub has recently offered playlists with names including “less than 18,” “the best collection of young boys” and “under- - age.”

Congress and successive presidents have done almost nothing as this problem has grown. The tech world that made it possible has been mostly passive, in a defensive crouch. But pioneering reporting in 2019 by my Times colleagues has prodded Congress to begin debating competing strategies to address child exploitation.

Concerns about Pornhub are bubbling up. A petition to shut the site down has received 2.1 million signatures. Senator Ben Sasse, a Nebraska Republican, called on the Justice Department to investigate Pornhub. PayPal cut off services for the company, and credit card companies have been asked to do the same. An organization called Traffickinghub, led by an activist named Laila Mickelwait, documents abuses and calls for the site to be shut down. Twenty members of Canada’s Parliament have called on their government to crack down on Pornhub, which is effectively based in Montreal.

“They made money off my pain and suffering,” an 18-year-old woman named Taylor told me. A boyfriend secretly made a video of her performing a sex act when she was 14, and it ended up on Pornhub, the police confirmed. “I went to school the next day and everybody was looking at their phones and me as I walked down the hall,” she added, weeping as she spoke. “They were laughing.”

Taylor said she has twice attempted suicide because of the humiliation and trauma. Like others quoted here, she agreed to tell her story and help document it because she thought it might help other girls avoid suffering as she did.

IV.

Pornhub is owned by Mindgeek, a private pornography conglomerate with more than 100 websites, production companies and brands. Its sites include Redtube, Youporn, XTube, SpankWire, ExtremeTube, Men.com, My Dirty Hobby, Thumbzilla, PornMD, Brazzers and GayTube. There are other major players in porn outside the Mindgeek umbrella, most notably XHamster and XVideos, but Mindgeek is a porn titan. If it operated in another industry, the Justice Department could be discussing an antitrust case against it.

Pornhub and Mindgeek also stand out because of their influence. One study this year by a digital marketing company concluded that Pornhub was the technology company with the third greatest-impact on society in the 21st century, after Facebook and Google but ahead of Microsoft, Apple and Amazon.

Nominally based in Luxembourg for tax reasons, Mindgeek is a private company run from Montreal. It does not disclose who owns it, but it is led by Feras Antoon and David Tassillo, both Canadians, who declined to be interviewed.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada calls himself a feminist and has been proud of his government’s efforts to empower women worldwide. So a question for Trudeau and all Canadians: Why does Canada host a company that inflicts rape videos on the world?

Mindgeek’s moderators are charged with filtering out videos of children, but its business model profits from sex videos starring young people.

“The goal for a content moderator is to let as much content as possible go through,” a former Mindgeek employee told me. He said he believed that the top executives weren’t evil but were focused above all on maximizing revenue.

While Pornhub would not tell me how many moderators it employs, I interviewed one who said that there are about 80 worldwide who work on Mindgeek sites (by comparison, Facebook told me it has 15,000 moderators). With 1.36 million new hours of video uploaded a year to Pornhub, that means that each moderator would have to review hundreds of hours of content each week.

The moderators fast forward through videos, but it’s often difficult to assess whether a person is 14 or 18, or whether torture is real or fake. Most of the underage content involves teenagers, the moderator I spoke with said, but some comes from spy cams in toilets or changing rooms and shows children only 8 to 12.

“The job in itself is soul-destroying,” the moderator said.

Pornhub appears to be increasingly alarmed about civil or criminal liability. Lawyers are circling, and nine women sued the company in federal court after spy cam videos surfaced on Pornhub. The videos were shot in a locker room at Limestone College in South Carolina and showed women showering and changing clothes.

Executives of Pornhub appear in the past to have assumed that they enjoyed immunity under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which protects internet platforms on which members of the public post content. But in 2018 Congress limited Section 230 so that it may not be enough to shield the company, leading Mindgeek to behave better.

It has doubled the number of moderators in the last couple of years, the moderator told me, and this year Pornhub began voluntarily reporting illegal material to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. After previously dragging its feet in removing videos of children and nonconsensual content, Pornhub now is responding more rapidly.

It has also compiled a list of banned content. I obtained a copy of this list, and it purports to bar videos with terms or themes like “rape,” “preteen,” “pedophilia” and “bestiality” (it helpfully clarifies that this “includes eels, fish, octopus, insects”). Diapers are OK “if no scatophilia.” Mutilation depends on context but “cannot depict severing parts of the body.”

So while it is now no longer possible to search on Pornhub in English using terms like “underage” or “rape,” the company hasn’t tried hard to eliminate such videos. A member called “13yoboyteen” is allowed to post videos. A search for “r*pe,” turns up 1,901 videos. “Girl with braces” turns up 1,913 videos and suggests also trying “exxxtra small teens.” A search for “13yo” generates 155,000 videos. To be clear, most aren’t of 13-year-olds, but the fact that they’re promoted with that language seems to reflect an effort to attract pedophiles.

Moreover, some videos seem at odds with the list of banned content. “Runaway Girl Gets Ultimatum, Anal or the Streets” is the title of one Pornhub video. Another user posts videos documenting sex with teenage girls as they weep, protest and cry out in pain.

While Pornhub is becoming more careful about videos of potentially litigious Americans, it remains cavalier about overseas victims. One Indonesian video is titled “Junior High School Girl After Class” and shows what appears to be a young teenager having sex. A Chinese sex video, just taken down, was labeled: “Beautiful High School Girl Is Tricked by Classmates and Taken to the Top of a Building Where She Is Insulted and Raped.”

“They’re making money off the worst moment in my life, off my body,” a Colombian teenager who asked to be called Xela, a nickname, told me. Two American men paid her when she was 16 for a sexual encounter that they filmed and then posted on Pornhub. She was one of several Pornhub survivors who told me they had thought of or attempted suicide.

In the last few days as I was completing this article, two new videos of prepubescent girls being assaulted were posted, along with a sex video of a 15-year-old girl who was suicidal after it went online. I don’t see how good-faith moderators could approve any of these videos.

“It’s always going to be online,” Nicole, a British woman who has had naked videos of herself posted and reposted on Pornhub, told me. “That’s my big fear of having kids, them seeing this.”

That’s a recurring theme among survivors: An assault eventually ends, but Pornhub renders the suffering interminable.

Naked videos of Nicole at 15 were posted on Pornhub. Now 19, she has been trying for two years to get them removed.

“Why do videos of me from when I was 15 years old and blackmailed, which is child porn, continuously [get] uploaded?” Nicole protested plaintively to Pornhub last year, in a message. “You really need a better system. … I tried to kill myself multiple times after finding myself reuploaded on your website.”

Nicole’s lawyer, Dani Pinter, says there are still at least three naked videos of Nicole at age 15 or 16 on Pornhub that they are trying to get removed.

“It’s never going to end,” Nicole said. “They’re getting so much money from our trauma.”

Pornhub has introduced software that supposedly can “fingerprint” rape videos and prevent them from being uploaded again. But Vice showed how this technology is easily circumvented on Pornhub.

One Pornhub scandal involved the Girls Do Porn production company, which recruited young women for clothed modeling gigs and then pushed them to perform in sex videos, claiming that the videos would be sold only as DVDs in other countries and would never go online. Reassured that no one would ever know, some of the women agreed — and then were shattered when the footage was aggressively marketed on Pornhub.

Girls Do Porn was prosecuted for sex trafficking and shut down. But those videos continue to surface and resurface on Pornhub; last time I checked, videos of six victims of Girls Do Porn were on Pornhub, which continues to profit from them.

One of the Girls Do Porn women I saw on Pornhub is now dead. She was murdered at 20, allegedly by an angry ex-boyfriend who is about to go on trial. I’m not disclosing her name because she should be remembered as a vibrant college athlete, and not for a sex video that represented her most mortifying moment.

VI.

So what’s the solution?

I had expected the survivors to want to shut down Pornhub and send its executives to prison. Some did, but others were more nuanced. Lydia, now 20, was trafficked as a child and had many rape videos posted on the site. “My stomach hurts all the time” from the tension, she told me, but she doesn’t want to come across as hostile to porn itself.

“I don’t want people to hear ‘No porn!’” Lydia told me. “It’s more like, ‘Stop hurting kids.’”

Susan Padron told me that she had assumed that pornography was consensual, until a boyfriend filmed her in a sex act when she was 15 and posted it on Pornhub. She has struggled since and believes that only people who have confirmed their identities should be allowed to post videos.

Jessica Shumway, who was trafficked and had a customer post a sex video on Pornhub, agrees: “They need to figure out who’s underage in the videos and that there’s consent from everybody in it.”

I asked Leo, 18, who had videos of himself posted on Pornhub when he was 14, what he suggested.

“That’s tough,” he said. “My solution would be to leave porn to professional production companies,” because they require proof of age and consent.

Right now, those companies can’t compete with mostly free sites like Pornhub and XVideos.

“Pornhub has already destroyed the business model for pay sites,” said Stoya, an adult film actress and writer. She, too, thinks all platforms — from YouTube to Pornhub — should require proof of consent to upload videos of private individuals.

Columnists are supposed to offer answers, but I struggle with solutions. If Pornhub curated videos more rigorously, the most offensive material might just move to the dark web or to websites in less regulated countries. Yet at least they would then not be normalized on a mainstream site.

More pressure and less impunity would help. We’re already seeing that limiting Section 230 immunity leads to better self-policing.

And call me a prude, but I don’t see why search engines, banks or credit card companies should bolster a company that monetizes sexual assaults on children or unconscious women. If PayPal can suspend cooperation with Pornhub, so can American Express, Mastercard and Visa.

I don’t see any neat solution. But aside from limiting immunity so that companies are incentivized to behave better, here are three steps that would help: 1.) Allow only verified users to post videos. 2.) Prohibit downloads. 3.) Increase moderation.

These measures wouldn’t kill porn or much bother consumers of it; YouTube thrives without downloads. Siri Dahl, a prominent porn star who does business with Pornhub, told me that my three proposals are “insanely reasonable.”

The world has often been oblivious to child sexual abuse, from the Catholic Church to the Boy Scouts. Too late, we prosecute individuals like Jeffrey Epstein or R. Kelly. But we should also stand up to corporations that systematically exploit children. With Pornhub, we have Jeffrey Epstein times 1,000.

#if you use pornhub you're complicit in this #sorry i don't make the rules

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nctsjiho · 3 years

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How Haechan And JiHo’s Friendship Evolved Over The Years [Part 2]

PART 1

[2018 | Role Model | New York]

“And I have a question for JiHo.” JiHo turned her head towards the interviewer who just mentioned her name. “You’re a fairly new addition to the group.” The girl nodded along with his words. “The boys have been singers for a few years now, is there anyone in the group who you particularly look up to?”

The fans in the studio ooh in interest as JiHo looks at the boys in thought. Meanwhile, Johnny, Mark and Jaehyun translate the question to the other boys who now look at her expectantly. “Hmm. I guess...” She then looks to her right and motions her hand towards Haechan.

The boy looks surprised - as do the others - when he realises he got chosen. The fans on the other hand begin cheering. “Since we’re only a few months apart in age I can relate to Haechan a lot more. He’s really good at everything he puts his mind to and he also has a great personality.” She explained seriously but Jaehyun on her left side can’t help but smile brightly.

The interviewer noticed how Jaehyun and Mark whispered among themselves and asked what was wrong. “Oh nothing.” Jaehyun said between chuckles. “JiHo just fed Haechan’s ego, he’s not going to let her live this one down for a while.” Mark added.

And by the looks of it Mark was right, because right after Johnny finished translating JiHo’s words to Haechan, the youngest boy had a big grin on his face. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek as looked down on his lap. This caused JiHo to sigh. “You can never just be nice to anyone here.” She said in a light-hearted tone.

[2019 | Cheat Day | Rooftop Café in Seoul]

“And let’s work hard during our promotions! NCT fighting on three!” Yuta yelled holding his glass up high. Everyone followed and Yuta started counting. “One, two, three!” “NCT fighting!” Everyone yelled in unison.

The promotions for ‘Superhuman’ were beginning the following week, so NCT and their staff had decided to have a little kick-off party to start things on a high note. They were all gathered together on the rooftop of one of Seoul’s café’s with the best view, cooking food and grilling meat together - of course with the required drinks for everyone who was legal and wanted to drink.

Haechan stood with his plate next to Johnny who was in charge of grilling the meat. “Can I have some more hyung?” He asked, acting cute. “I already gave you so much.” Johnny laughed but continued adding more meat to the younger boy’s plate.

As Haechan moved over to the next table with food he noticed JiHo sitting alone poking at the food on her almost empty plate. He carefully approached her and sat down next to her. “Are you not eating?” At his voice JiHo jumped a little and then sat straight in her chair. “You scared me.” She gasped causing the boy to chuckle. He then pointed his chopsticks at the girl’s plate to redirect her attention.

“I’m not really hungry.” She sighed. “Well don’t mind if I do.” He reached out his chopsticks and grabbed the half of a boiled egg that was sitting on her plate. Shoving it in his mouth he sent her a wink. “Yah! You’re so annoying.” She pushed him by his shoulder and watched as Haechan choked on the piece of egg. He quickly regained his composure though so JiHo wasn’t worried.

He watched carefully as the girl grumbled to herself whilst continuously poking at her food. “Somethings wrong. Tell your role model what’s wrong. Maybe my sexy brain can think of a solution.” Completely taken aback by her member’s word, JiHo sent Haechan a disgusted look. “First off all, you should stop referring to yourself as my role model, I already regret calling you that a year ago. And secondly, I never said you had a sexy brain.” She fake gagged. “But you were thinking it.”

The smirk on Haechan’s face definitely annoyed the girl, but she had gotten very used to it by now and actually found that his annoying attempt to cheer her up was working. “The new manager put my on a diet again, and I seriously hate eggs, chicken tastes like cardboard to me and I’m sick of eating raw tomatoes and salad.” “Why don’t you just get food that you like?” Haechan asked nonchalantly, grabbing the other half of the abandoned egg from her plate. “He’s watching me like a hawk up there. He almost grabbed my plate to pick up the food for me.” She sighed.

Haechan took a few seconds to think and scratch his non-existent beard. “He doesn’t let you get the food you want. That’s what you said right?” JiHo nodded and watched as Haechan’s face lit up. “Wait here.”

JiHo waited alone for a few minutes until she saw Haechan approach her again with Jungwoo and each had two plates with them. Placing them in the middle of the table Jungwoo and Haechan sat down next to the girl. “Let’s feast!” Haechan beamed. She just watched as her 2 members began eating carelessly. “He isn’t watching. Just eat.” The youngest of the two boys said patting her shoulder.

A smile found its way on JiHo’s lips as she finally dug in, grateful that her friends were there to help her cheat her diet and feel more comfortable.

[2020 | Su Casa Mi Casa | NCT Dorm, 5th floor]

“He definitely fell on his butt.” “Wasn’t he embarrassed?” “It’s Mark I’m talking about, of course he was, but we’re so used to it now. So no one called him out for it.” JiHo giggled. She was video chatting with one of her friends from back home in France, while getting ready for bed. “I swear to God, your friends are so weird!” “Hey, you’re also my friend.” JiHo reminded the girl on the other side of the screen.

Suddenly the door to JiHo’s room opened and in walked Haechan. Wearing comfortable clothes and with a Nintendo Switch in hand he blindly fell onto JiHo’s bed. “Wait a second.” JiHo told her friend and turned her attention to the intruder. “What are you doing?”

Acting as if JiHo’s presence was new to him, Haechan looked at the girl with a raised eyebrow. “Hmm?” She shook her head at his clueless tone. “I’m talking to my friend right now. What are you doing here?” “I’m not bothering you right? You can just continue. It’s not as if I can understand what you’re saying anyway.”

JiHo rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. “What’s going on?” JiHo’s friend asked with a giggle, amused by JiHo’s I’m-so-done-with-him look. “Haechan mistook my room for his again.” Haechan perked up at the mention of his name, but JiHo continued to ignore him. “Ow, don’t act like you mind. You’ve told me otherwise before anyway!” Her friend exposed her and JiHo rolled her eyes. “Okay~ Whatever.”

The conversation between JiHo and her friend continued on for another 15 minutes and when JiHo finished her night skin-care routine the friends ended the call.

“Move.” JiHo motioned Haechan to move over as she sat down next to him and watched the game he was playing. “Did Johnny oppa get mad at you bothering him too much or what?” “Nope, I just like your room, it smells nice here.” A puff of air escaped JiHo’s lips, which were turned up into a smile. “It’s called ventilation and a lot less hormones.” This time it was Haechan’s turn to roll his eyes.

When Haechan didn’t say anything - which JiHo did not expect - the girl spoke up once more. “Okay, I know you like how my room smells or whatever, but it’s still my room.” “You don’t care when people enter your room.” Haechan stated. “I don’t, but not at midnight when I’m about to go to bed.” “You don’t care if it’s Lucas.” “It’s because I like Lucas more than you.” JiHo stuck out her tongue and Haechan mirrored her mockingly.

Getting slightly annoyed JiHo pushed Haechan by his arm. “I want to sleep.” “I have every right to be here.” “What? No you don’t. It’s my room.” JiHo countered.

Finally Haechan put down his Switch and turned to the “annoyed” girl. “What’s the saying? Su casa mi casa?” “It’s mi casa su casa, you idiot.” JiHo couldn’t help but snicker at the boy’s mistake. “And also that doesn’t work here, because it’s both our house. We live together.” “Well more reasons that I have every right to be here.” Haechan grabbed his Switch again and laid back in a comfortable position. “Now move, I’m about to beat this level.” He bit his lip, focussing on his game.

A loud groan left JiHo’s lips as she stood up and grabbed her pillow. “What are you doing?” Haechan asked wide-eyed as the girl turned towards the door. “I’m either sleeping in Doyoung’s room or stealing your bed.” She explained and started to walk away, but Haechan stopped her and pulled her by her wrist. “What?” “How am I going to annoy you when you’re not in the same room?” JiHo squinted at Haechan and tried to walk away again, only to be pulled back once more. “Haechan-” “Wait, just stay here and watch me beat this last level. Please.” He pleaded sweetly and JiHo couldn’t help but sit back down next to him.

For about an hour JiHo watched over Haechan’s shoulder as he tried to beat the boss level of his game. Once he finally finished it he noticed how she had already fallen asleep. A chuckle left his lips as he climbed over her until he was standing beside the bed. Haechan pulled the blanket over her body and made his way back to his room.

[2021 | Lara Croft | SM Practise Room]

Dream was definitely one of the louder and more chaotic units within NCT. So when Mark entered the room he wasn’t surprised to see Jeno trying to fight Jisung and Chenle trying, and succeeding, to annoy Renjun. What he didn’t expect to see was Jaemin watching Haechan braid JiHo’s hair with the most focussed expression.

“What’s going on here?” Mark chuckled confused as he settled next to Jaemin. “He wasn’t going to stop bothering me until I let him braid my hair.” JiHo explained. “Your hair is finally long enough, I don’t get why you always kept your hair short.” “Why? You don’t like my hair short?” JiHo questioned looking slightly offended. “No! I didn’t mean it like that.” He then placed both hands on her cheeks and turned her head so she was facing the front - away from him - again.

Mark gave up on asking more questions and decided that a conversation with Jaemin would be a better idea. A few minutes passed until Haechan let out a loud screech. “DONE!” “Don’t yell like that!” JiHo scolded the boy and hit his thigh.

JiHo then looked at Jaemin and Mark expectantly. “How does it look?” “Uhm. I guess you kinda look like Lara Croft?” Mark said hesitantly. JiHo seemed to be pleased with the answer and started walked towards the mirror. “Yeah if she took a big ass tumble.” Haechan quickly added just as JiHo could inspect her reflection.

“Lee Haechan!” The braid that fell over her shoulder looked, for a lack of a better word, rough. The three strands of the braid were completely uneven and some parts of her hair stuck out of the braid. “I thought you knew what you were doing?” “I thought so too. I guess I just need more practise.” He bashfully replied, fingertips scratching the back of his head.

Soon enough the choreographer entered the room and the guys began their practise. JiHo had filled in for Mark while he had to miss the first 2 practises, so she was there to help him find his place in the different formations.

Going through some of the moves JiHo ended up getting knocked over by Jeno. He quickly helped her up and apologised. “Don’t worry about it.” She smiled and the other boys began teasing her for “messing up”. The comments were all very light hearted and JiHo could laugh with all of them, but Haechan decided to throw a little harsher comment. “JiHo, you had one job and you couldn’t even do that!” He dramatically threw his hands up in the air.

“Excuse you, Haechan-ssi.” She emphasised the formal way of addressing him. “I came to help you guys, but if you want to I can leave.” She said while making her way to the door of the practise room. “Wait! Don’t leave!”

Haechan pulled the girl towards him, enveloping her tightly in his arms. “I’m sorry!” He apologised profusely to which JiHo, and the other boys, began laughing. “Why? You don’t really need me, I think Mark got everything down. No?” She eyed Mark and he nodded. “Yeah, I think I’m all set.” “No! You know Mark hyung. He forgets easily, you need to stay until the last practise.” Mark scoffed at the minor insult towards him, but couldn’t help but smile fondly watching how clingy Haechan was towards the girl.

“Okay, I was just joking. I’ll stay, so let me go.” “What are you talking about?” Haechan said while still suffocating the girl in a tight hug. “You’re still holding me. Let go.” She tapped his arm a few times to signal he should let her go. “No I’m not.” His smile wasn’t visible to JiHo, but the rest of the boys could see how much he enjoyed teasing - or it could be holding - JiHo. “Guys please help.” She reached her hand out towards the other boys, but they just watched the girl struggle while Haechan seemed to be having the time of his life.

#jiho.guide #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct female member #nct imagines #nct extra member #nct additional member #nct haechan fluff #nct haechan imagines #nct female addition #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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cynergy-laughter · 3 years

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Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All! Headcanon #22

Inspired by: https://youtu.be/8lDr1W_oBxs

youtube

Thank you anon, for the ask. I have never seen the original one before but it is the funniest thing to me. Just the chaos of that one line.

Featuring a Chaotic MC: The My Favorite Things Incident

Lucifer: Lucifer is a musical stan, and he likes the Sound of Music, so he’s playing My Favorite Things while doing some paperwork. He is listening, and somewhat singing along with the verse a second time, and after the word kittens, a voice cuts through the music from the library upstairs, as if acting on instinct: “Sticking my d!ck in rotisserie chickens~!” Lucifer stops mid-verse and he looks like he’s frozen in shock. Congratulations, you single handedly ruined My Favorite Things for him. You made sure not to be around when the music suddenly got cut off and he made his way upstairs. He had a feeling who it was, but for once didn’t have concrete evidence. So he just resolves to never speak of this incident, but vows to never play the Sound of Music ever again.

Mammon: He was in the library with you, and his only regret was that he wasn’t recording it. It kinda just happened. Mammon was reading a magazine with his new modeling spread, and he was wondering why Lucifer was playing that old time musical. And then it happened, Mammon was probably as shocked as Lucifer probably was, but his eyes widened and he was trying not to bust out laughing, because Lucifer would have probably blamed him if his laugh was heard. And then the music cut off, and you bolted back to your room, and Mammon ran with you cause he didn’t want to be around when Lucifer arrived. As soon as your room door was closed, you both started laughing and crying because you both could only imagine Lucifer’s face when he heard that from his office. But you both also decided to be scarce until dinner time.

Leviathan: He was on his way down to the front door cause a new package he arrived from Akuzon. He heard the Sound of Music being played and it reminded him of this tiktok he saw, and he decided to pull out his phone and wanted to make a tiktok about this moment he hit record and was waiting, but when the song rounded the whiskers on kittens line, the iconic “Sticking my d!ck in rotisserie chickens~!” line got sung, he gasped and started snickering, he switched to the face cam, and got his own reaction, before his face dropped when the music stopped, he switched cameras again to get a recording of MC and Mammon running through the dining hall, past him and toward MC’s room. Levi put two and two together and his tiktok cut as he started wheeze laughing.

Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, & Belphegor:

The younger brothers were hanging around each other, Satan was reading, Asmo painting his nails, Beel was coincidentally eating chicken, Belphegor was taking a nap, resting in Beel’s lap. Asmo’s phone went off as he got a tiktok notification, but he asked Satan to check it for him. Satan rolled his eyes and looked at the phone and began watching a tiktok, it played, and he recognized the foyer, and the tune that was played, but then froze and bit his lip when the adlibbed verse was sung, and it was on full volume, Asmo gasped, putting his freshly painted hand on his jacket, and screamed noticing that the paint chipped and stained his jacket.

Beel heard the verse, and began cough-laughing, choking on the bite of chicken he had in his mouth. Belphie’s eyes snapped open and he began slapping Beel’s back to knock the chicken out, it did, and it hit Satan in the forehead. After the crisis was averted, they watched the tiktok again, and began laughing at the verse, but then got shocked when the recognized MC and Mammon running through the dining hall. And they all began to debate whether or not MC or Mammon said that line. Satan and Belphie were all the way convinced that MC said that. Beel and Asmo were adamant that it was Mammon. THEY TOOK BETS. They texted MC and Mammon both about who said it, they both confirmed MC, and Asmo and Beel owed Belphie and Satan 10,000 Grimm.

Diavolo & Barbatos ft. Lucifer:

Lucifer made the mistake of telling Diavolo and Barbatos about the incident but failed to mention what was sung in place of the next verse. Diavolo laughed and wondered how in the world, a song like that could be ruined. He was surprised that Lucifer was a musical lover. Barbatos braces himself as Diavolo began to sing the beginning verse... It was like MC had a tic when it came to that song, they absolutely had to finish it when it started. They all turned around to see MC was behind them... in the hall of RAD... if Lucifer’s glare could cut a pact, nothing could stop Lucifer from killing MC. MC ran, Lucifer gave chase, meanwhile Diavolo is howling, laughing on the floor at the situation, between how perfect it was timed, Lucifer’s reaction, what was sung, and the way MC gave a grin before running away just made him start dying. Barbatos gave a smirk, holding the bridge of his nose as he was remembering why he kept Diavolo and Lucifer company: because stuff like this made his day. Surely there is never a dull moment in the Devildom with MC.

Solomon ft. Simeon: Simeon is just minding his own business, singing My Favorite Things in the kitchen of Purgatory Hall, and you and Solomon were just... coming down from Solomon’s room to get a snack when you both heard Simeon singing, and he was finishing the first chorus, heading into the second chorus. You smile and stop Solomon, waiting for the “kittens” lyric. And then you sing it loudly. Simeon is surprised, and semi consciously looking for Luke to put his hands over his ears, but Luke was with Barbatos. Simeon was relieved, but at the same time frightened at that whole line. Solomon is just rolling on the floor scream laughing. You reveal yourself and apologize, you couldn’t help yourself. Simeon doesn’t believe you, but reluctantly forgives you. Solomon is still laughing about it for a good 15 minutes, he’s crying now, but he even got you and Simeon laughing along with him.

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liam-93-productions · 3 years

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This weekend it’s the UK’s biggest event on the entertainment calendar, with the 74th EE British Academy of Film and Television Awards taking place at the Albert Hall with guests and nominees attending virtually for the first time, thanks to Covid-19. And while the awards promise to be as exciting as possible in these unprecedented times, on Sunday night we will also be treated to another exciting world-first in the form of Liam Payne being beamed into houses up and down the country while performing for the opening of the ceremony.

Yup, if you’ve ever fancied the former One Direction crooner serenading you at the end of your bed, on Sunday you can make your dreams a reality – or augmented reality – as Liam has joined forces with the EE network to create a 3D avatar hologram of himself that can be beamed through the app ‘The Round’ (available on any mobile device) as he performs at the Albert Hall. Super fans can also get to experience the avatar in their homes, or on-the-go, ahead of the performance, if they tune in via the app at 6.45pm, 15 minutes before the hologram joins real Liam on stage to perform.

GLAMOUR caught up with Liam to discuss this sci-fi sounding excitement as well as hear how the past year has treated him. In a wide-ranging chat with the ever-charming Liam, we covered all things from the struggles of lockdown and coping with his mental health to his former bandmates, burgeoning acting career, new music (...).

Is the fact that you're performing at the BAFTAs a sign that your acting career is on the rise?

I've done a lot of auditions, a lot of tapes. The thing about acting somebody told me, it’s very much like: are you right for the part and is the part right for you? I think it takes a lot of talent, luck and judgment going into acting to actually get into a job. I mean, hat's off to anybody who does it because it's a long process. I seem to get through to like the final five or final three people for every role and then not quite get it. Which is frustrating but, you know, that’s how it goes. I've had a fair few auditions and I was lucky enough to get into the final five again for one audition that I got to meet Steven Spielberg [a couple of years ago] on my 25th birthday which was quite amazing. But it's been fairly slow through the pandemic obviously.

And what about music? Have you been writing anything, or even been in the studio?

I'm going to the studio later on today actually, to record something for the first time in a while. Which is quite weird to be traveling back into London to go into work. I've been doing some stuff from home as well, which has been quite interesting. Zoom sessions don't really work out all that well, it's very difficult. I'm sure a lot of musicians will agree. So, it's been kind of hard to work properly during this half of the pandemic. The other first half of the pandemic, I just did these live shows, which was really amazing to play live and do them online, which was kind of strange... It's been difficult in terms of the creative process for me.

The past year has been challenging for absolutely everyone, no matter their circumstances. How has it affected you on a personal and a professional level?

In the first half of it, I was so busy that I didn't really notice it as much, except for having to do a lot of stuff myself without crew and learning to do hair and makeup was kind of a weird experience. But then this second half, I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit and I'm sure many people experienced it. Just not being able to go anywhere, not be able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself.

You’ve bravely spoken about struggling with your mental health in the past, and you say now that you did go into a bit of a dark place recently, how have you coped with that?

I think it's an ongoing experience. For me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards. And I think that's something that I've always struggled with. So, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today. So, it's been nice in that respect. But I think for a lot of people it's difficult, and I definitely took for granted how much I miss my family. I'm used to being away from home, I'm used to being abroad and not seeing very much of them. But I'd always see them at a show or at something once a year. And then now that that's all been taken away, it's been a lot to not see my family and realise how much they actually ground me.

So, what have you found helpful or supportive during the past year? Have you turned to anything to get you through these dark times?

Friends that are there for you... [talking to] one of my managers that I'm quite close with. I think a lot of guys struggle to talk about what the hell is going on a lot of the time. And for me and him, actually we're quite heart on our sleeves sort of people, so we talk a lot about different things. But I think if I didn't have that, someone to share that with, I think I would have struggled a hell of a lot more.

Like a mental health mate?

I mean, we literally talk about everything. We're probably too honest with each other! But I think it's important that everybody has that person. I'll be honest, at the start of this, drinking definitely became a lot more of a thing because there just didn't seem to be any boundaries. I wouldn't say I drank too much, I'd say I drank too often. Just through the boredom, I guess. A lot of people were going through that though I think - there was so many funny, great memes about it I saw friends of mine put up. But it can be quite dark at times. I think the only thing that's really helped me through that is just learning to work out again and learning to put boundaries in for myself in terms of what food I'm eating. As a pop star, I think you're always quite weight conscious. My job has always been about having to work out, doing underwear modelling and all that sort of thing, it makes you quite body conscious at times. It was nice to be able to just sit and eat pizza and chocolate, I really enjoyed that. But getting myself back into the habit of working out and then having a cheat day put in place, so that there was more boundaries in line, I think has definitely helped me.

I'm quite fortunate that I don't put a stack of weight on, although I have gone up rather a lot in size over this time. But I think it was more about routine for me than anything. And I always say, having a small victory before you get into bed at night time. Or life just gets depressing. Whether that small victory is making sure you've spoken to a family member, you've worked out, or whether you did learn to do something today, just something small. There's one task that you literally can't be arsed with, you should get done just on the day, so that you feel good about yourself when you get into bed.

That's so important. So, do you almost have a checklist before you go to bed?

I think as long as I make the gym and I've done that bit and I've taken care of my needs, just cooked some nice food. That's mainly it for me, really. And then I feel good about it. (...)

(...)

Moving on to social media, you've obviously got such a massively positive fan base, but how do you cope with the negative side of social media and the impact that can have on your mental health?

I struggled with it for a long time. I argued with people. I was aggressive on their points trying to fight my own side. And I think for some people you are talking to a brick wall, you will not win and there's no point trying. And also, the more you talk about it, the worse it gets. So, I just shut up and put up a lot of the time. I think it's the Queen that says, "never complain or never explain." And that's something I think myself I do live by because it's just like, with some people it gets worse having the argument and trying to explain yourself. But all of it, it's like five minutes of your life for somebody who doesn't know you, it's just a bit pointless.

You have so much intense public scrutiny on you all the time, how do you navigate keeping something back for yourself, and how have you managed to maintain that sense of privacy over the years?

I think this has been one of my biggest struggles this whole time. Because, I'm very much a heart on the sleeve sort of person. I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away…But it's definitely a difficult one to flick the two people apart. So that you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person. That's always something I've really struggled with.

And you've been famous since the age of 16. How did you manage growing up in that sort of public glare?

Never did! [laughs] My friend was [recently] talking about how he’s got a teenage son that he was really struggling with at the moment. And I was thinking, "oh my God, imagine how much people would have struggled having five teenagers, rowdy boys in a band. It must've been terrible, there's no getting through to them!" And for a while, it probably was. I think we all go through that awkward teen phase where you're finding yourself. And most of us, we get to get away with it. And they're funny family photos for later on; here was your emo phase or whatever you went through! And for us, we never got away with being awkward or annoying at points. It was kind of out there for everyone to see; the awful haircuts and we’re talking terrible clothes, it was all out there.

What has your career taught you about the idea of success and the idea of failure?

I think it's taught me lots about how you would measure success. I came from a family that weren't very well off. We didn't have a lot. My dad was in debt actually when I started. So, success for me always meant a monetary thing to start off with. But then as I got older, I realized I don't really buy all that much. I don't really spend a hell of a lot of money. So, it can't be about a money sort of thing. And it's more now become more about happiness and experiences. And the one thing I always say about my job, no matter what, and everybody gets annoyed at their job sometimes, it is what it is. But for me, at least I get to put a smile on someone's face.

Yes, you do! And what has it taught you about failure?

That's a really good question. It’s taught me I think that perseverance will always prevail in that sense. Because it doesn't always go exactly to plan. We were really lucky when we came up, we absolutely skyrocketed. And then, it's been hard to follow that ever since. But you know, measuring a failure as well. What is a failure? And people will look at this and, for us sometimes getting a 100,000,000 streams isn't quite what we aim for, but it's still 100,000,000 streams….you have to kind of get a hold of yourself. Everything is about perspective at the end of the day, isn't it? That was something I struggled with for a long time, because of how well it went [for the band.]

So you had such high expectations for everything?

Yeah. And it's like, time to give that a break really. And Louis from my band has always been quite great to sit with me and talk with me about stuff. And if I'm feeling a certain way. We've been quite good with each other, actually in that respect and helping each other out, which has been nice.

And finally, if you could sit down with the Liam who was starting out in One Direction in 2010, what advice would you have for him?

I think just have more fun and relax a little bit. I think I was a very serious child, one of those man-childs, I was a man in a child's body pretty early on. And I think I would have avoided that stage, to be honest with you. To enter One Direction as that difficult, because it just meant that I got completely a different job to everybody else.

You were the grown up one?

That was it. And it was boring. I should have just larked around and thrown plates out the window and stuff!

More rock and roll?

Well, I mean at the start, and then later on a bit less rock and roll [laughing.]

Well, thank you so much, Liam. And we look forward to seeing your performance on Sunday at the BAFTAs.

I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.

Liam Payne is performing an exclusive EE BAFTA AR real-time music performance, ahead of his 5G-powered opening show at the 2021 EE BAFTA Film Awards. Download ‘The Round’ app to enjoy the live AR experience through your mobile phone, wherever you are, this Sunday 11th April 2021 at 18:45pm BST.

#liam payne #liam's interviews #glamour uk #ee baftas #07.04.2021

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quickspinner · 2 years

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Indelible - Ch 14 Hanging Punctuation

Luka was more nervous than he should have been as he leaned against the park’s low wall, waiting for Marinette. He’d given Juleka’s concerns enough consideration to decide it was probably best if he maintained at least a little bit of space, so he’d suggested that Marinette meet him in the afternoon for a walk and coffee. Luka did miss Paris when he was away, and though it was December the weather was mild enough that he thought they could handle being outdoors for a while. It actually felt really good to feel the cool stone against his hands and the breeze ruffling his hair.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them Marinette was there, walking quickly down the sidewalk. She hadn’t seen him yet and he had a moment to smile at the pink coat and pale pink knitted hat she wore with a fluffy white scarf and white leggings. On someone else it might have looked childish, but on Marinette it looked sophisticated and fun. Testament to her talent for style, he supposed. She saw him as he pushed himself up off the wall and picked up speed with a squeal of glee, her sneakers slapping the pavement.

Luka felt the grin break out on his face and raised his arms just in time for her to throw herself into them. Luka caught her up and hugged her tight, burying his face in her hair as he squeezed his suddenly burning eyes shut tight. Some knot inside him released, some fear that the closeness they’d found over the phone wouldn’t translate to seeing one another in person. He took a deep, shaky breath, and then another. He’d always been a tactile person, had always craved touch and contact, and it was such a relief to be held, to have the warm embrace of someone he cared for. He wasn’t touch starved , precisely, but he had missed hugs like this, even with their puffy coats in the way.

“You give the best hugs,” Marinette mumbled into his shoulder, as if she’d read his thoughts, and Luka laughed.

“One of us is going to have to let go eventually,” he pointed out teasingly, though he hated the thought. Marinette just whined, and Luka’s shoulders shook with laughter again as he laid his cheek on the top of her head.

Marinette turned her head just enough that she wasn’t smushing her face into him, and asked, “How are Juleka and Rose? Did the show go okay?”

“It sounded like things were a bit bumpy in the beginning but they worked it out. The video she showed me was great,” Luka replied. “I’ve barely seen Rose at all. I guess Christmas is a busy season for her with charity events and hospital galas and I don’t even know what all. Juleka says it’s like this for her every year.”

“Mm, I can see how that would work,” Marinette said thoughtfully. “Gotta work the network while folks are feeling generous. Poor Juleka though. Now I feel guilty for taking you away.”

Luka snorted softly. “She’ll survive without me for a few hours. Honestly, she’s probably still asleep, sounds like her schedule was pretty intense last week and I’m sure she’s tired.”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed, as they swayed slightly. “It can get pretty rough for the models, having to get there so early and all the prep work and—” She gestured vaguely with one hand without really letting go of him. “Argh, it’s so good to see you in person!” She squeezed him so hard he swore his bones creaked. In retaliation he bent his knees and dropped his arms to her waist, picking her up as he straightened.

“You can say that again,” he laughed, swinging her around for a minute before hugging her again. They finally let go of each other and Marinette linked her arm through his as they started walking. They gravitated naturally towards the riverbank, talking about trivial, lighthearted things. Marinette didn’t ask him about his enforced break, for which Luka was grateful. He was getting tired of thinking about it, and what she didn’t already know about it, she could probably guess.

Instead, as they walked, she told him about a new project she was considering taking on, designing clothes for a film that was scheduled to start production in the next year.

“So, what’s holding you back?” Luka asked, when she paused for breath. “You sound excited about it.”

Marinette opened her mouth, and then closed it again, and then puffed out a sigh that froze in a white cloud. “I’m cold, let’s go get something hot to drink,” she said suddenly, tugging at his arm.

“Sure,” Luka agreed, following her pull with a slight raise of his eyebrows. He let her drag him to the nearest cafe, and when she flapped him away from the counter, he went to find an empty table. He shed his coat, sat down, and propped his elbows on the table, watching the little frown on Marinette’s face as she ordered and waited for their drinks. When she brought them over she sat down and pushed his drink to him without looking at him. Luka took his silently, eyes fixed on her.

She wiggled out of her coat, but still said nothing, staring moodily at the table. He could see she was growing more and more frustrated, and just when Luka was about to reach over to put a hand on her arm, she shook herself and announced, “I’m being stupid.” Luka stifled a chuckle.

“Unlikely,” he commented with a grin, “But tell me about it. If you want to.”

Marinette made a face. “Well...it’s a bunch of small things, really, and one big thing. You know a lot of criticism I get has to do with being too costumey ,” she made quotes in the air with her fingers. “I’m not sure that being associated with movies would be a positive thing, given that.”

Luka nodded slowly, knowing also what she wouldn’t say, that her association with artists like Luka and Jagged already laid her open for comments like that. “And it’d mean being in London for kind of a long time, and I just got my studio here set up like I like it—” Luka turned a laugh into a cough, and she glared at him, daring him to point out that she changed her studio at least once a month. Luka didn’t, and Marinette continued. “Of course, the train doesn’t take that long, so it wouldn’t be too hard to come back when I’m not actually needed there…and I could probably work the logistics out once I have more information…”

Luka waited, and Marinette blew out another sigh. “It’s Adrien’s aunt’s company,” she finally said flatly, meeting his eyes with a pout that would have made him laugh if she hadn’t been so serious. “His mother’s sister, I mean. I don’t even really know what I’m afraid of, except that it could be...messy.”

“You think Gabriel will cause problems?” Luka asked. “Try to tank the deal?”

Marinette shook her head. “They actually kind of hate each other, apparently. I’m...I’m half convinced that’s part of the reason Amélie wants to hire me. Adrien told me a little bit about them, and you know he always sees the best in people, but reading between the lines, it doesn’t seem out of character for her to want to one-up Gabriel by hiring me.”

Luka nodded, understanding why that wouldn't sit right with Marinette. “She’s not like Audrey, is she?”

“No, she doesn’t seem to be,” Marinette admitted. “She’s a little snobby but very courteous. She’s been very professional during our meetings, and so has her son—all virtual so far, but I’m probably going to have to go meet in person with them soon.”

Luka nodded again, watching her over the rim of his cup.

“I don’t know,” Marinette sighed. “I just got loose from Gabriel’s hold, and I’m finally doing well on my own, and this would be a boost, and might open me up to similar work, which could actually be a really fun avenue to pursue. I’ve had a lot of fun working with musicians, and it might be fun to work on movies too. They’re not really costumy outfits, either, it’s a modern setting in a city so I wouldn’t be doing anything really out there , and they're offering a lot, I could use the money to fund my next line, but I just don’t know how it would look , and I don’t like being a spite hire, and I don’t know if I’m being stupid, or…”

“I don’t think you’re being stupid.” Luka interrupted. He leaned his elbow on the table, brow furrowed as he thought it over. “The personal stuff, I think that’s something you have to decide on your own. You know the family a lot better than I do and you're the only one who can decide if you're comfortable getting involved with them. But as far as the impact on your brand and whether this would be a positive or a negative...have you tried asking Renée? She might have some insight on how the industry would see it.”

Marinette perked up. “I haven’t. That’s a thought. I don’t know if she’d talk to me about it though…” She tapped a finger on her lips as she mulled it over.

“She might not,” Luka admitted, “But if so, she’ll tell you straight up that she doesn’t want to give you advice. But , if you can get her an exclusive on the story when you’re ready to go public with the deal, I think she’d probably give you an opinion. She’ll have a different perspective, at least.” He hesitated. “Just be a bit careful about being clear what’s on the record or not, when you talk about anything personal. I trust Renée, but she’s human, and she’s a reporter. She likes a scoop. If you tell her outright something is off the record, she’ll respect it, but if you don’t specify...” He shrugged.

Marinette laughed bitterly, a hand going to rub one arm where Luka knew a faded name was printed. “Yeah, I learned that lesson a long time ago.”

Luka’s expression softened. “Do you hear from her at all now?”

Marinette shrugged and sighed. “Yeah. Usually when I have a problem. You’ve heard of fair weather friends?” She gave a wry smile. “Alya’s a foul -weather friend. She only makes time for me when I’m a project, something for her to fix.” She sighed and shook her head. “I’ve just kind of accepted it at this point. And I make sure I don’t tell her anything I don’t want in the papers, off the record or not. Although now that I'm not with Adrien I'm not even good for a scoop anymore. The fashion industry isn’t important enough for her to really spend time on, but she’s definitely not above selling an article here and there if she thinks it’ll draw an audience.” She smiled at him then, unexpected and brilliant. “Lucky for me, I have other friends I can count on. Your support has meant the world to me, Luka.”

Her hand met his on the table and squeezed, and it felt like his heart contracted too. Luka swallowed and took a slow breath, hoping she wouldn’t notice as he smiled back.

“Same,” he said as lightly as he could, and he meant it. He squeezed her hand back harder than he meant to. “I'm glad I could be there for you, and...I really appreciate you being there for me. Especially lately.” He swallowed and looked away from her, but not before he saw her smile soften into sympathy. Luka forced his fingers open and let go of her hand, gripping his mug tightly instead. His other hand began drumming restlessly on the tabletop.

Marinette watched him tap for a moment, and then leaned forward, resting her elbow on the table as she cocked her head slightly. “Luka, when was the last time you went out and listened to live music just for the hell of it, and not for a professional function?”

Luka opened his mouth, and then closed it again, his brow creasing. “I don’t really have time when we’re on tour,” he confessed, searching his memory as he tried to remember the last time.

Marinette’s brilliant smile spread over her face. “You’re not on tour now. Let’s go out! Maybe tomorrow night?” She sat back and Luka let go of her hand. Marinette whipped out her phone. “I should be good I think,” she said absently, and then looked up at him and nodded. “I can be free tomorrow night. About 9? You pick the place, you probably still know better than me. We can go have a few drinks and dance and just relax for real, and maybe you can hear some new bands and just get out of professional mode for a while.”

Luka thought about it, his fingers still tapping the table idly, but had to smile when he raised his eyes again to meet Marinette’s. They were wide and eager, and she fairly sparkled with enthusiasm. “All right,” he said, grinning because he just couldn’t help himself when she looked like that. “Sure. Sounds like fun.”

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