#Then I call my wife

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[emiko-matsui]

if you wanna listen to naddpod you should know this about the hosts: brian murphy is a straightman to his inner most core and he's the funniest person alive, these things exist simultaneously and would not exist without the other. emily axford is clinically insane to a point where it's easier to not try to follow her logic when she says things. jake hurwitz is a certified cool guy but he's the biggest loser in a room of nerds playing dungeons and dragons. caldwell tanner can only be described as exactly what a 1930's cartoon describes as a rascal. three of them are a throuple and the fourth is their boss.

#naddpod #not another dnd podcast #brian murphy #emily axford #jake hurwitz #caldwell tanner #8 bit book club #bahumia #trinyvale #eldermourne #ba2mia #and yes i know theyre not technically a throuple its just murph and emily that are a couple but if the intro to your podcast is 'my life #slash comedy partner my wife and my other life slash comedy partner caldwell' im calling you a throuple

[jabesa0]

Champagne bubble bath 🫧🥂

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obm #mammon obey me #obey me mammon #mammon #obey me fanart #obm mammon #when I see my beautiful bathing I jump right in #if mammon was waiting for me like this #let’s just say bathtubs won’t be called bathtubs anymore 😈😈 #smirks and wipes drool from mouth #anyways my wife needs his breasts washed I must depart at once

[ogcjmn1]

didnt know if i should throw these together but i guess i'm going to. starting the new year off right

edit to add: ive moved my art to a different account! @znbpsg

#lotr #lotr fanart #samfro #gigolas #tolkien #didnt look at refs for the clothes because i got too lazy #i'm calling it canon divergent to improve the way i feel #forced my wife to watch with me and havent stopped yapping about it since #true love to be honest

[thefantastician]

figures they release all this Fang merch when I hate him

#my wife and I have been calling each other ‘stupid liberal lizards’ all morning #sonic #sth #sonic superstars #my art #thefantastician #comics #miles tails prower #fang the hunter #trip the sungazer #sonic superstars spoilers

[frenchfry99]

📺 Turn on your TV or you'll miss the chance to hear from the neighborhood's cheeriest bug! ☀

In her part of the show, she'd teach kids all different kinds of facts about the weather, why it is like this and what should they do, like how to tell it's gonna rain, sometimes would do little geography lessons which she sure knows a lot about!

Would most definitely advertise various stuff from Howdy's shop that would be useful for the weather she's telling about, like "a new neat umbrella and rain boots for the gloomy soggy days" or "a refreshing cold drink to help with the summer heat!"

You could call Daria quite the fashionista, she likes to pick her attire matching the weather, both in matters of style and comfort. She always makes sure that her neighbors are dressed according to the temperature and etc too, so for example, she better not catch you without your scarf when it's freezing outside- (would give you a lecture why you should wear one and will put her own on you lol)

(most of her outfits are made by my other oc Sunny, a shy tailor who's not big on very chatty and loud people, but him and Daria somehow get along really well!)

Definitely owns a ton of different sunglasses too, it's nearly impossible to see Daria without them.

Daria got into the neighborhood by a storm. Dragonflies are undeniably great at flying but not even they can always predict what they'll get into on their way! But don't worry, she got into trustworthy hands (or wings?-) of neighborhood's mail-bird Sean Gull, could it be love at first sight-

She's transfem, pan and polyamorous

Being overly energetic, Daria sometimes bumps into other neighbors , just not noticing they're standing in the way while she's deep in thought. Would be pretty apologetic if she makes them fall- It'd take her some time to remember where she was heading to too..

She'd also oftenly appear as a star guest at the regular human weather forecast or some scientific geography TV programs :D

(I'll prolly add up more info later as my burnout passes, have a lil doodle of her human ver instead lol)

#guys meet my wife.. #welcome home #welcome home oc #my art #oc #original character #welcome home puppet show #I may not have friends but I have my wife!! #the fact that her husband is a seagull makes me giggle #welcome home project #wh oc #she's so silly gahh!!! #average lady gaga listener- #she has the cool auntie energy hushjgjhh #made her design like ages ago but never posted it oops- #not the biggest fan of it now but I do like her human version! she's slaying! #definitely calls others darlin' on occasions- #daria d. dragonfly

[evild3ad]

my humble Stardew Valley Spouse review, in birthday order 💜 I love my boywives & girlhusbands.

(edited to fix a typo in the graphic lol)

#dont call me an abigail hater shes my first wife ever i just dont have major thoughts #all of them are valid #Thank you to the tumblr user who caught my original typo you're a real one! #sdv #stardew valley #stardew bachelors #stardew bachelorettes #sdv haley #sdv harvey #sdv emily #sdv maru #sdv sam #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv penny #sdv leah #sdv seb #sdv elliott

[venomgaia]

you know what yeah ill post this. sure.

#based off a call where we had 3 people total heckling a roadtrip duo #the bongy is the third person #driftoodles #limbus company #ishmael #rodion #heathcliff #faust #i like that them driving in f zero is what i post snd not the bongy christmss ornament i made #but i cant post don heath high fiving over getting [redacted] [redacted] so #thats all folks! #i think the only other limbus thing ill post is the plushie i made my wife when he has clothes

[myuminji]

college au

Meryl is NOT the first person Vash visited and Wolfwood has had enough embarrassment for the day

and unofficially wife-d up with paper rings (congratulations!)

Vash holding Wolfwood's hands, realising that it's not as calloused, no, in fact, it's soft. Unharmed. Safe. And he's holding it. Both of his hands are holding it. And those hands are exchanging something as fragile as a paper ring, far off from what they're usually accustomed of holding in the past...

(He's holding Wolfwood's hand, he thinks again. It's soft. He wonders if he deserves to hold them.)

Except it's no longer the past, Vash knows that, and now they're here, the flimsy rings weighing heavy with the promise of tomorrows he could never hope or dream of having before. It's so comical to the point of bringing tears to his eyes.

If anyone had seen him crying that day he's blaming it on the damned ring.

(a.k.a. the college/reincarnation au, "we deserve a soft epilogue" ending I desperately need)

#trigun #trigun stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #vashwood #meryl stryfe #it actually started from a jealousy prompt but my playlist changes 3 times so and it went from silly to pain #the whole idea actually came from me accidentally calling a 6ft tall fictional man ''my wife'' to peers who are neither chronically online #nor knowledgable in internet lingo and they asked ''so he's a girl?'' in the most careful tone ever I almost want to bury myself undergroun #myuminjiart

[gauloiseblue]

I feel like Price would stop smoking for his partner, not out of love (although it's always about love when it comes to her, but this time, it's an indirect result of it), but out of concern.

The thing is, Price loves a headstrong woman, but marrying her is a double-edged sword. One side, her loyalty is unwavering, but so is her will.

She hated it when he smoked, it made everything around him smell terrible. Not only that, it's slowly taking away his beautiful voice.

She'd say that it's going to take him away from her, or that their days together will be shortened if he keeps smoking his cigar. But he'd comfort her by saying that 'he's a healthy man' and 'he'll probably live longer than her'.

Of course, she didn't buy into his reasons.

After months of persuasion, she decided that it's not enough and stepped up her game.

One morning, she pulls out a pack of cigarettes, and begins to smoke at breakfast.

To this day, nothing beats his surprised face that morning.

When he asks her why she starts to smoke, she gives him all of his answers to the same questions.

It makes me relaxed. It helps me focus better. Just feel like it.

And when she's feeling a little mean, she'll say; "You know I'll follow you anywhere. If you decide you wanna leave the earth faster, so do I."

And that horrifies him,

The thing is, they both knew that she did it out of spite. She hates the bitter taste of nicotine, and she despises the smell as it gets into her hair everytime. But she keeps going, to the point that she'll buy the non-filter cigarettes.

That's when he decides to stop.

(If anyone asks him what's his biggest weakness is, he'd say it's his wife and her guts.)

He stops smoking almost immediately—not reducing his nicotine doses gradually, but straight up stopping at once.

Of course, after years of addiction, it'll be hard for him to cope with the withdrawal syndrome. He'll get a bad headache, mood swings, and a nasty cough. He'd come back to his old way, if not for his wife's support.

She compensates him by cooking him delicious meals, listens to him when he's stressed, and lets him have his way with her whenever he wants.

Months passed, and he began to feel better. Although he doesn't want to admit it, he does feel that his health is improving. He can run faster, he's experiencing less fatigue, and his mind becomes clearer without the help of nicotine.

His relationship also improves, as she doesn't mind kissing him for hours. They'll go for rounds, to the point that it's tiring her out. Which is a surprise, since she has good stamina.

The boys weren't shocked when they first learnt about it, they said it's bound to happen, sooner or later. Though Soap wasn't happy with it, as he lost the bet with Gaz.

Overall, he's happy with the results. What more can he ask? He already has a loving wife <3

#thoughts #john price x reader #price is giving 'i love my wife' energy dont at me #call of duty #headcanon

[atmothart]

Wouldn't lizard fashion be something like spikes and scales and a frilled lizard collar?

Like so?

(Bonus art under the cut)

#thank you anon I've been wanting to draw proper lizard fashion for a while and this gave me the motivation I needed #dracula daily #re: dracula #dracula #lizard fashion #The colours I chose here make Drac look like Harry Du Bois - which is appropriate given how I tend to depict his personality in my shitpost #bonus under the cut featuring Dracula's Weed Smorking Girlfriends #personally I really like the theory that the three vampire women are actually dracula's wife and two daughters #since the book never actually calls them his wives and the two subordinate girls are specifically described as looking similar to him #the idea that he turned his family but is no longer capable of loving them (or being loved by them) adds a whole extra layer for me #because he still goes through the motions - goes out to get them food (babies) and provide for them/fulfil the role of a patriarch #but its hollow and loveless and done out of strange obligation/habit - like an echo of being alive #BUT for the sake of comedy I will always draw them as his three weed smorking girlfriends because it's just funnier #or rather as I like to think of them - his three weed smoking EX-girlfriends who spend all day making fun of him and and freeloading #I'm going to tag any art with them in it from here on out as #the ex-wives of dracula #he's going to england to escape their ridicule

[arizonagreenbee]

#my wife thinks I’m insane for calling it the clicker but I think its just a New England thing? #I wasn’t raised there but my mom was so it transferred #bee posts #poll

[holmesandbees]

Can we all say thank you to Granada Holmes for showing Holmes and Watson reacting this way to a blackmailer bringing up how he destroyed a gay man’s life?

#the rage here? damn #I really appreciate that they made the effort to include that #because this sort of reaction would not be common at all #maybe people would feel sympathy for his wife and go #“oh that’s too bad #but this kind of kindness towards a gay victim is really extraordinary for a piece set in Victorian England #and also Milverton’s reaction to their reaction! #he seems interested by the fact that he’s hit their weak spot and even calls out holmes for being irrational and emotional about it #granada holmes #johnlock #jeremy brett #john watson #granada johnlock #the master blackmailer #happy pride #my post

[bertoyana]

erik thinking about charles the same way he thinks about magda in x-men apocalypse (2016)

#bisexual character so good he has flashbacks about his TWO dead wives #cherik #gifset #mine* #xmenedit #x-men #xmenuniverse #marveledit #erik lehnsherr #otp: i want you by my side #I think the funniest thing about this fuckass movie is how they only decided erik's wife was going to be magda in the post production #and you CAN tell bc the entire movie erik doesn't refer for her. when she dies he only calls for nina but never for his wife which is so??? #doesn't she have a name??? doesn't he have a pet name for her??? NOTHING??? they were married for like 10 yrs and yet??

[fanfictionroxs]

Okay but listen listen.. Luo Binghe may be super duper jealous of the cumplane friendship, but the day Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu have a serious fight, Bingbing goes crying to Mobei like his parents are getting a divorse.

#binghe be like: why are my husband and uncle/father breaking up 😭 #mobei: why is husband mad at my sister wife... brother husband? #i dunno what he calls sqq in his head #anyway #svsss #cumplane #cucumberplane #bingqiu #moshang #luo binghe #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #mobei jun #scum villain #scum villain self saving system #scum villain's self saving system #danmei #mxtx #funny #crack #memes

[devilmayfamily]

Price is papa, yes. But he is also male wife

Before meeting Price, you were used to having to take care of yourself and doing all the cleaning and cooking around the house when you did live with other people. Upon meeting Price, you were fully prepared to do the same thing for him but mans surprises you.

When you go to do the laundry, you find the man already putting away and ironing clothes. Trying to cook dinner? Nope! That man is in the kitchen already or has ordered your favorite takeout.

At first, you thought it was him still trying to court you but now 4 years into your relationship, he was still doing all these things around the house.

He's in the military and you're not? Don't worry bout dinner honey cuz he made sure to have meal plans curated for short periods away or has takeout on its way every Friday night when he's gone for long periods of time. When he comes back, he is all over you and making sure you don't have to do a thing. He's cooking, cleaning, and cuddling.

You're both in the military? DO. NOT. DO. SHIT. And he means that in the most loving way possible. That man is doing anything and everything he can for you no matter if you can do it on your own or not. 141 will say he's whipped or a simp but John Price is completely ok with that. He loves his wonderful partner and would do anything for them.

And if ever there is a universe or timeline that you're in the military and he's not? He is on that shit night and day. Cooking, cleaning, and making sure that everything is done so that when you come home, there is nothing for you to worry about other than receiving all the love he has for you.

John Price is the dad of 141 but he is the wife of his significant other.

#cod task force 141 #cod mw #cod mw22 #cod #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty #call of duty price #mw2 #mw2 2022 #call of duty mw22 #mw2022 #modern warfare 2 #john price #captain john price #price x reader #john price x reader #price is male wife #i love my military wife john price