#THE GOT FUCKING FAKE FINALE THEY WROTE TO TRICK THE CAST

[sadlittlenerdking]

Y’all if you weren’t there after season 4 aired, you don’t know how absolutely fucking batshit everything was, because SJH genuinely thought people were going to EAT the fuck out of that bullshit finale and it baffled them so hard they disappeared for the rest of the week before slamming back into the scene gaslighting the fuck out of everyone and then the INSANITY of the cast not being allowed to do interviews at comic con and any of their stuff being super super super locked down it was fucking crazy

At least 5 conspiracy theories blossomed out of it

#the magicians #NOT TO MENTION THE CAST NOT KNOWING HNTIL TWO DAYS BEFORE THE FINALE #AND OLIVIA CRYING ON A FAN PODCAST BECAUSE SHE WAS SO UPSET #THE GOT FUCKING FAKE FINALE THEY WROTE TO TRICK THE CAST #I BEED THE NDAS TO BREAK ASAP #I HAVE TO KNOW

[tfrinpin]

@pastelpaperplanes Fuck I had a thought and so I wrote a thing.

Optimus folded his shirt, stuffing it into the suitcase that sat on his bed. It was dark, abysmal within the walls of his small, studio apartment, the bare furniture and bed lacking the numerous knick knacks, makeup, pictures, jewelry that usually sat scattered around. His closet was empty, a few stray hangers swaying lightly against the metal beam. It all felt grey, and empty, lacking the glow of colors and warmth that usually swelled around his small yet cozy abode.

An eerie comparison to how he felt.

Despite the miraculous turn out of Megatron barely slipping away from the clawing grasps of the law— all thanks to Optimus’ quick thinking in documenting Sentinel’s dirty dealings and sending it to Ultra Magnus, it got the crooked cop thrown in cuffs and dragged away to the pit where he belonged. All evidence against Megatron was deemed compromised, and the case was dropped because there was just so much red tape to go through thanks to Sentinel’s corruption.

Optimus was happy that Megatron was able to get away. However, the truth was out about Optimus’ identity and occupation, and though Megatron was safe, they hadn’t spoken in months. That allowed a level of uncertainty with Optimus, and the threat of whatever mob activity plotting against him was a looming cloud over his head. Which brought him to his current decision to move out of his apartment and head west. Major Kup had retired out in some small city, hopefully his old mentor would let him bunk on the couch for a little while. He could probably find a job as a librarian, or a waiter, or something. He’d figure it out. Hopefully.

All he had to do was get away. Away from this city, from the old force, from Sentinel, from the club…

From Megatron.

Optimus bit his lip, his eyes squeezing shut at just the mere mention of his former lover’s name. He still remembers the look of betrayal on Megatron’s face when the truth came out. Megatron was sitting in a jail cell when Sentinel dragged Optimus in just to taunt at the Decepticon mob boss about how he was tricked and how stupid it was to fall for such a fake. Optimus recalled the look in Megatron’s Megatron’s optics, the mixture of emotions just flashing over those red orbs.

Backstabber! Bitch! Traitor! Why? How could you? Turn coat? Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Whore! Why? Liar! Why? Why would you do this to me? Why? I love you. Why? I love you. Why? I love you…

I loved you.

Optimus felt his lip tremble, and he moved to sit down on his empty bed. He brought a hand to his face, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. He couldn’t go back to what it was before, everything was rotten now, and it was all thanks to him. He couldn’t make up for it, nothing would undo what he practically destroyed between them.

“He’ll never want me again,” Optimus whispered.

A knock on the door startled Optimus from his spot, and he wiped at his face. “Just a second,” he sniffled, trying to compose himself. He made his way to the door, wiping at his face once more to make sure he didn’t look like a complete wreck before grabbing the door handle.When he opened the door, he froze.

Red optics stared down towards the smaller Autobot, the looming figure in the hallway, almost casting a shadow over Optimus. Megatron looked like a giant in his hallway, dressed in his trademark black suit and fancy leather shoes.

Optimus felt his optics grow wide, the tears threatening to spill again. “W-What...W-What are you—?” Words failed him, his throat was closing up.

Megatron merely stood in the hallway, quietly, still staring down at Optimus with that stone face, almost expressionless. A pause crossed over them, Optimus feeling his spark bounce rapidly in his chest.

What was he doing here? Was he going to kill me? Where’s the gun? Oh Primus, he’s going to me! Where’s the fragging gun—

“Hm,” Megatron finally made a sound, optics looking up to glance around the room. They fell onto the suitcase that sat on the bed, and Megatron’s face turned questionable, “Why are you leaving?”

Optimus blinked, “...What?”

“I asked,” Megatron adjusted his footing, “Why are you leaving?”

______

Annnnd that’s all I got. I’ll leave the next part to you. ;)

#THE PLOT THICKENS AGAIN #I wanted an angsty moment with a happy ending but I only got this far and I have to finish a deadline so this is all I got #optimus prime #megatron #transformers #transformers animated #megop #tfa #tfa megop #sentinel prime #cops and mobs au #tfrinpin #pastelpaperplanes

[smolfailure]

FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy,  the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

 it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED.  the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) . 

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them)  but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

 quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

 ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy. 

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”) 

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT. 

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

#dream smp #mcyt #mcytblr #dream smp au #homestuck #sleepy bois inc #one of those tags is not like the other #tommyinnit #tubbo #tubbo_ #tubbolive #fundy #fundylive #itsfundy #technoblade #dream team #wilbur soot #wilbur mcyt #eret mcyt #jschlatt #quackity #skeppy #badboyhalo #philza #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #homestuck au #reblog this to curse ur mutuals' feeds with Unexpected Homestuck in 2020

[awed-frog]

Finally realized why I like Ocean’s Eleven so much (beyond the obvious): it’s a fucking retelling of the Argonautica? And not only that - it’s not a ‘let’s use tried-and-tested tropes so the audience loves it’ story, it’s a deliberate retelling of the Argonautica. Harry Brown, the screenwriter of the original 1960 movie, was a Harvard-educated poet who also retold the Iliad as a Western in his novel The Stars In Their Courses. And all those elements I love in the Argonautica (so much I wrote my thesis on it) are on glorious display in Ocean’s Eleven.

Like this story works well because of two things: one, we feel immediate empathy for the hero who wants a righteous revenge (Jason wants his throne back, Danny wants to ruin the man who ‘stole’ his wife) and two we are enchanted by the weird cast of characters our hero needs to accomplish his goal and how everything just comes together as a team effort. Because, unlike other epic stories, the Argonautica is based on the ‘helpers’ blueprint: the hero is a regular guy who won’t and can’t succeed alone, but his kindness, daring and bravery ensure he’s got the support of a cast of powerful friends and allies. 

In fact, those friends and helpers are mostly way more powerful than the down-on-his-luck, lost-his-kingdom, went-to-jail Danny/Jason type: like Danny’s handpicked professionals, Jason’s original crew was 100% specialized, talented and bizarre, and included not only Herakles himself, but several other demi-gods, a guy who kept Apollo as his personal slave, a wind-eater, a famous ship-builder, the only man who ever wielded a two-headed axe, the Minotaur’s brother, Odysseus’ dad, Helen’s brother and a lot of other fantastical characters.

(You might recognize this as that kind of fairy tale that goes, Lonely orphan looks for adventure, meets big man who’s trying to drink a river. Do it like this, the orphan says; the man does it and is so grateful it works, he decides to go with the boy. In the next village, they meet a tall man who’s trying to harness the wind. Do it like this...By the end, the orphan reaches the evil magician’s palace with a crew of weirdo strongmen who help him free a princess.)

Tess, of course, is our Medea, a woman who’s supposed to be loyal to the ‘evil king’ but is instead drawn to the hero. And Brown even managed a beautiful rewriting of the most gruesome part of the Greek myth: as Danny and his men are escaping, it’s fake money they blow up and leave behind to trick Terry and his men, and not the dismembered body of an innocent victim.

Finally, it’s also fitting that Danny’s target is not some random bank, but the richest casino of the most golden city in the US, since Jason's target is also the Las Vegas of his time: the overt subtext of the Argonautica is that the Caucasus region is full of gold, which is so abundant in rivers any sheep wading one will get its wool coated with it (this is what the Golden Fleece is, and yes, there is a grain of truth to this old legend).

I don’t know. To me and many others, what’s so appealing here is that most heroes don’t need us - but this one does. Jason would have been killed in some boating accident had he left on his own, and Danny Ocean would have remained a sad ex-con without his friends. There is a lot to like in the kind of story that’s not ‘Here is the Chosen One, the Heroest of Heroes, look at him do his thing’ but rather ‘Let’s help this unfortunate idiot make his dreams come true’.

#greek mythology #meta #jason and the golden fleece #jason and the argonauts #ocean's eleven #danny ocean #harry brown #movie rec #fanfiction #ancient greece #tropes #folklore

[spike-and-faye]

Well ... Whatever happens, happens I guess

I’m sure you’ve all seen by now, but just in case you have not: we have got some stills of the cast from the live-action.

These are from Variety magazine

My thoughts?

It’s a no from me dawg. I’m going to keep an open mind about this, but at the moment I am fearing the worst.

The casting is ... well it was certainly a choice. Jet actually seems like a great fit. There’s no images of Ed (!?) so I guess we don’t know about her yet.

John Cho as Spike is not ... great. For starters, Spike is 27 and Cho is 49, but to be fair he doesn’t look 49. I think the really thing he’s lacking in for me is the natural ‘coolness’ of Spike, for lack of a better term. Cho looks like he’s trying to act out coolness, at least so far in these photos, and it’s not super convincing to me. (That isn’t to say that I don’t ADORE John Cho. I genuinely love that man - I’m just not sure he is right for this role). Spike’s type of cool is more of a Han Solo than an MCU Avenger if that makes sense. John Cho looking fine as fuck in that shirtless pic though SWOOOOON

NOW while I think Daniella Pineda is one of the most gorgeous women alive (and THICC asf) - she is not Faye. I won’t get too much into it, but Faye *is* Singaporean. While I’m excited they’re not whitewashing the cast, I think they’re ignoring some already existing racial diversity here. Pineda also looks very cool, but I’m not seeing the obnoxious, efflorescent, flirtatious Faye Valentine here. I am seeing a generic ‘she’s a bad ass not like the other girls’ trope.

I think besides the casting, what’s getting me most right now is how organic some of the colors are, especially Faye’s outfit. Her outfit says a lot about her: it’s fake, flashy, and ostentatious. They REALLY muted her color scheme with this outfit. I don’t think natural leather tones and black pants/tights really do that trick. (WHERE’S THE SIGNATURE HEAD BAND??). That said Spike’s out fit is fine and Jet’s is actually great.

Same issue with warmer, organic tones goes for the set. It’s serving me 2013 Doctor Who TARDIS vibes. I feel like in the series there’s a strong contrast between the bare, metal ship and the vibrancy of the characters within. Also - let’s not forget they are DIRT POOR. They don’t have rugs and records and turn tables and speakers.[Ok maybe that sounds a little nit-picky, and surely a bare metal set wouldn’t be appealing to the viewer of a live-action series. regardless I doesn’t feel like the BeBop to me and it’s devastating].

Which leads me to my final point: WE DON’T NEED A LIVE ACTION FFS. The original is so perfect. I just don’t think any studio could reasonably make anything as cinematically sound and as gorgeously written as the original. Shinichiro Watanabe is listed as a CONSULTANT. That means virtually nothing to a studio unfortunately. He has no executive creative control. And there’s NO Keiko Nobumoto, who wrote the series and wove so much meaning and symbolism with such minimalist dialogue/exposition into this masterpiece. Without Nobumoto or Watanabe, to me this means it’s basically a fan-made cosplay project.

My take away from all this ... I’m pissed but at least we’re getting more Yoko Kanno music which is the opposite of a problem.

I really REALLY want to hear what you all think.

 I feel like I’m being super harsh and nit-picky but also ... has there ever been an anime series adaptation that wasn’t garbage?

#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #I'm trying so hard to be level-headed but I'm basically freaking out #cowboy bebop #faye valentine #jet black #spike spiegel #live action cowboy bebop

[smallblueandloud]

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage spoilers #redemption spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #sb and l rambles #sb and l watches leverage #levred #this is so much longer than i thought it was gonna be #i shouldn't be surprised but ughhhh i'm so tired

[kristinracine34-blog]

atk hairy models - Best 5 Tips For Vagina Pics Hairy

As porn work goes, it was incredibly low maintenance. Guys go to the website, pick you out of a lineup, and instant message with you a little bit. When they decide they want to fork over $3 a minute, they click the "Pay Now" button and take you to a private chat room, where you can do whatever you want. I spoke into furry pocket pussy a microphone and never heard their voices. I got half of the money for each minute, and grew quite adept at stripping slowly. It works like this: you have a webcam. In case you have just about any inquiries regarding wherever along with the way to employ atk hairy nude pussy pics (you could try here), you possibly can call us with our own web site. I signed up with a third-party website to be a cam model. I'd wave at him over the top of the camera, while showing close-ups of my ass cheeks to some unseen guy jerking it in his darkened office. The guys mostly just wanted straightforward tits and ass; I learned how to pull my pussy lips open, how to use camera tricks so it looked like I young atk natural and hairy hairy pussy was really having fun. Sometimes I got strange requests: put a can of hairspray in your pussy. Jason walked back and forth through the house as I worked on the living-room sofa. Screen name: THEPROFESSOR. " His repartee was witty, and his vocabulary was huge. All the other guys sounded like panting idiots hoping to trick me into a free show, begging me to shove things in my ass or dramatically fellate a dildo. He showed up one day and immediately made me laugh — really laugh, not the fake "tee hee" that actually meant "Just click the button, asshole, time is money. How old are you really? I didn't have to shave my legs or wear high heels, or even put on lipstick; I didn't have to actually touch or talk to any of the guys who were watching me take my clothes off. Make them think they have a chance with you. One guy wanted me to pee in a cup and pour it on my chest. It was a steady paycheck, and these gullible souls all believed I was twenty-two years old and my name was Samantha. He hoarded the information I gave him; he was always careful never to say anything where the other guys could see. But I don't think he knew what to do with me. We just talked for a while, at $3 a minute. It was only a few messages before he said, "You're not 22. " I tried to pass it off, as I'd learned to do with private questions — keep them on the hook, believing the fantasy, and you make more money. The Professor enjoyed being the smart one, the one who knew the truth behind the facade, who I really was. By then, I knew him a little bit, and liked him. He said he just wanted to watch me get off. I said no to anything I didn't want to do. He wanted to see me enjoying myself, instead of simulating bad porn. I started getting to know him. I asked him what he wanted to see. One day, he finally clicked "Pay Now" and took me to a private room. I found out he was a real professor — he taught at a small liberal-arts college, which is why he was online all day, grading papers. But he wanted to know, really, so I told him how old I was, what I liked to read, that I wasn't actually in university anymore. So I did, and for once, I wasn't faking it. He wanted to see my face when I came. Finally, I told him one day that I couldn't keep taking his money. NEXT: "He'd say something that would have me biting my lip while I worked, so the guy on the other end wouldn't see me cracking up for no apparent reason…" Then we started emailing back and forth, long, gloriously in-depth emails of feelings and thoughts and background and history. He'd moved to the mainland, met his first wife, had a child, divorced, met his second wife, bought a house, and had a second child… whose name, coincidentally, was the same as mine. I found out he was occasionally cranky, often bitter, but always receptive to banter. He told me about his early twenties doing dangerous and illegal things on the beaches of Hawaii. He read a lot, loved music of all kinds, and got every reference I threw at him. I told him how hairy nude pussy pics much I hated living in Los Angeles, the failures of my relationship with Jason. The pattern continued: he'd come in almost every day and message me hairypussy girls for hours, throwing out comments about the other guys that they couldn't see, sometimes taking me to a private room when he could afford it. Rainier, about his weekend boat trips in altered states with his friends. I mentioned Jason, which, since I pretended to be single online, was another slice of my real self. He mentioned children, in passing. I pressed him for details on his attempts to climb Mt. We began texting each other, slowly at first and then ramping up to dozens of messages a day. I gave him my phone number. What are you making for dinner? I started to keep my personal IM client open while I showed strangers my body, and he chatted with me the whole time, making comments about the little snippets I told him. He gave me a nickname in German, and asked about my mom. I knew he was married, that his wife didn't know about his forays onto webcam pornography sites. I wrote him a long email from my personal email account, the real one, told him my real name, and said I couldn't keep our interactions financial. He worried about what I ate, and suggested books I might like. We video chatted a couple of times; I saw his wry smile, his messy office. "This guy wants me to spray whipped cream in my ass," I'd type, and he'd say something back that would have me biting my lip while I worked, so the guy on the other end wouldn't see me cracking up for no apparent reason. He'd say something that would have me biting my lip while I worked, so the guy on the other end wouldn't see me cracking up for no apparent reason. He was shaggily attractive, disheveled, with a concentrated, thoughtful face and mop of brown hair, a college professor from Central Casting. He groaned as he showed me his cock and I licked my lips, imagining it inside me. I wanted to fuck him, too. We said we loved each other, finally. He wanted to listen to little stories about my day, and he wanted to fuck me. But Arthur was my friend. But I still took my clothes off for him, watched him stroke himself as he listened to me whisper what I wanted to do to him. It became a bit tortured, as he realized he couldn't have both me and his wife. It's sometimes said, with some truth, that nobody has friends in Los Angeles – there are only people you know, and people who want you to do something for them. Neither of us had believed you could build love only online, without ever meeting, and yet, here we were. We feverishly talked about meeting, me flying to his town to couchsurf and sneak to his office during the day, so we could finally touch each other's skin. Everything was laced with sadness and the forbidden. He told me his wife had been offered a job in Europe; it would mean losing contact with his child and probably hamstringing his own career. He said I did the same for him, and that he would love me forever. Just as they made the decision that they would move to Europe, his wife found out about me. Day by day, piece by piece, I picked up my broken heart and tried to move on. I wanted to write him every day, message after message with the same thing: do you think of me? But he sustained me, a light in the seedy darkness. He sent me an email telling me briefly what happened and that we had to sever all contact with each other. We started to grow apart a little bit — it was hard to keep up the stream of constant communication with the different time zone. Years of silence later, I got a message from him on Facebook, presumably the only means of contact unmonitored by his wife. I even give free passes to people who reminded me of THEPROFESSOR. " By that time, I still do cam shows, but I'm using my own domain and I choose who I let in. Right now, im STILL waiting. com submitted by olgakatysheva [link] [1 comment] I wanted selfish proof that I was memorable, adored. The lines of communication fell completely silent. He wrote that although he wanted nothing more than to hear from me one last time, it was for the best if I said nothing. It was only one word: "Still. 1veronikastarr8@gmail. I wanted to say his name.

[mrfirefoxgym]

A glimpse of hell - mean nicknames created  by the Chinese Gymternet

NDISCLAIMER: 

1. Do not read this if you are easily offended by mean names, satirical jokes or dark humour. 

2. The Chinese gymternet culture, and its internet culture as a whole, is very different from the ones on tumblr. Partly due to its insularity, certain terms used in the Chinese gymternet could come across to you as too rude or brass or unacceptable. However, please also take into account the difference in the cultural aspect as well. As a common dweller in the Chinese gymternet community, I can promise that 95% of the satirical teasings or mean names created by the Chinese has no derogatory intention. The truly degrading, racist or sexist nicknames have also been filtered out by me, so rest assured. 

So now, if you are ready, please read on: 

--------------------------------------------The line to hell-------------------------------------------

Part 1. Basic terminology to nickname-creation

A. 野鸡 (ye-ji) noun./adj.  - pheasant; wild chicken (direct translation)

“Before anyone is worthy of being bestowed upon a nickname by the Chinese gymternet god, they are all wild chickens.”

The term “wild chicken” is not limited to the gymternet community - it is the umbrella term for all athletes who are either 1.not well known 2.not very good at the sport 3.both. Wild chicken can be used both as a noun and an adjective. Though initially carrying a negative and even derogatory connotation, the tone now is much more neutral. An example for the use of “wild chicken” with a neutral connotation would be - 

“Who is that wild chicken on bars? She’s pretty good.”

When used as an adjective, it is normally used to describe a routine that is underwhelming. For example “Songsong’s vault is quite 野鸡.”

When used to describe man, use 野鸭, or wild duck, instead of chicken. 

B. 女士/小姐 noun. - Ms/Mdm/Miss

Using an overly formal term to address an athlete is one of the most basic satirical trick used by the Chinese community. I’m not sure when and who first created this but oh boy does this thing spread fast! Similar to wild chicken, this term first carries a negative connotation, but some people liked it so much they start to call everybody, including the ones they love, with a Ms something something. More often than not though this term still carries a mocking tone to it.

Example: “Oh what a spectacular performance by Mdm____, she could have scored full marks in the 10-points scoring system!”

C. 好粉丝 noun. - Good fans

With its true meaning being “biased fans”, this word is often used to mock comments or other netizens for being...well...too biased. 

Example: “Good lord, those good fans are saying ____ is capable of winning gold again, what a joke!”

With the 3 most basic terminology in mind, lets move to more specific nicknames for gymnasts and countries. 

Part 2 - specific nicknames and its origin (names not written in any order, just writing them down as I remember them)

1. Victoria Komova - 擦擦，擦地，擦四步 （scratchy，ground-wiper, wipe-4-steps) 

Origin: 擦 (pronounced as tsah), means “to wipe” or “to scratch”. The name 擦擦 came after YOG in 2010 when Komova scratched her feet on the ground during bars final and then backed 4 steps during floor final - the Chinese netizens then begin saying that Komova is wiping the floor with her feet and there goes the “wipe-4-steps” and the “ground-wiper”. While used as a mocking nickname initially, most people now, even her fans, still refer to her as “scratchy” or “擦擦“. 

2. Kyla Ross - 敦煌飞仙 (Buddha’s heavenly leap)

Origin: It is extremely hard to translate the proverb 敦煌飞仙. The term “敦煌” is related to Buddism whereas 飞仙 means something like “flying to heaven”? It’s a buddist term and I’m not able to capture the exact meaning as well... anyway, the term came after Kyla’s super awkward fell during her 2015 Jesolo floor routine, and then one of the netizens who didn’t really like her wrote “OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL, ITS LIKE A BUDDHA’S HEAVENLY LEAP”, and then suddenly everybody started to use it lmao. It is initially used to address Kyla Ross’s fall, but has now extended to all kinds of lurching kind of fall on floors. It definitely is still used to mock people though.

3.  Riley McCusker - 鸡翅膀 - Chicken Wing

Origin: Her 2016 floor choreography is just really weird and has hand movements like a “flapping wild chicken”, and if you have read the things I wrote above you will know being related to a “wild chicken” is NOT good for your image on the gymternet lmao. 

4. Nastia Liukin - 青蛙，娃娃 - frog, froggy

Origin: It’s due to the cowboying on her double front. One of the disgusted netizen commented that her posture during the double front is like a “leadping frog” and thats it lol. It is also notable that Nastia is a pretty controversial figure in the chinese gymternet, with large groups of fans and haters. The haters all address her as froggy and the fans will call her 公主 - princess. 

5. Deng Yalan - 种地小姐 - Miss peasant

Origin: So last year it became clear to the fans that Deng got addicted to a K-pop star and ended up semi-quitting her gymnastics career. Then there is this huge whooha regarding what she’s gonna do dropping gymnastics and her education at such a young age in the future. Then somebody digged out her family’s background and realized that her family is not very well-off in the first place and they live in the rural areas. So disappointed fans begin calling her Miss peasant to mock how she somehow ruined her own fledgling gymnastics career. 

6. Huang Qiushuang - 面膜小姐/黄面膜 - Miss Face mask/Facemask Huang

Origin: When Huang retired from gymnastics she opened a micro online shop to sell face masks. Such micro online shop in China is known for their dubious quality as many products are made without proper channels and regulation, and so yep people begin to call her Miss face mask for selling “fake products”. Whether the products are truly fake is unknown til today. 

7. Zeng Siqi & Chen Siyi - 旅游小姐/拍手小姐/提包小姐 - Miss vacation/Miss hand-clapper/Miss bag-carrier

Origin: Siqi only did beam (and fell) during the 2013 individual world championship, whereas Siyi didn’t do a single apparatus during the 2015 team final, so mean netizens begin mocking that “all Siyi did is to hold others’ tea cup and clap her hands and carry bags”, and then they became Miss hand-clappers. Dowell is also sometimes addressed as such too due to her lack of participation in 2013′s WC. 

8. Liu Jinru - 搞笑艺人 - Comedian

Origin: Because her dance and wobbles and fell are all quite...clumsy looking? Then some people said she looked like a comedian trying to make people laugh with all her wobbles and mistakes and now everybody begin calling her that.

9. Larisa Iordache - 影后 - movie queen

Origin: Prior of Olympics in 2012 rumour has it that Larisa is injured or something like that, and then she showed up to the competition almost fine (she fell on beam and floor but her difficulties are all back), and Chinese netizens were like “WASN’T SHE INJURED” when she showed up with a crazy difficulty beam routines, and there you’ve got the name!

10. Diana Bulimar - 布尼玛老太婆 - Witch Bulimar

Origin: This and the next one is probably the most offensive out of all terms SO PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. Its also kind of hard to explain... so it all started with a superrrrrrrrrrrr Bulimar hater who also happens to be super active in the Chinese gymternet. Boy did he HATE Bulimar. And then since Romania’s struggling with the depth of talent pool the renowned hater started the “Bulimar is a witch and she cast a cremation spell on team Romania so that the entire gym program will be cremated” thing, and he talked about it in like every single fucking post lol, and it gradually got picked up. Bulimar is also known for having a “floor music of curse” back in 2012, as whoever is doing beam when Bulimar is using the 2012 floor music will either wobble or fall on beam. 

11. Romanian team - 火葬国 - Cremnation

Origin: Its the same as above, 火葬国 sounds super offensive as it means “country of cremation”, it’s a very bad joke and I apologize if anyone is offended... So anyway according to this hater Didi cast a cremation spell on the country’s gymnastics program so that it will all burn to ashes, and because hes so active everybody got brainwashed and start to address the team as “cremation team”. 

12. Other Romanian gymnasts cept Didi, Lari and Cata - 字母女士，Miss Alphabets

Origin: So it goes like the Romanian fans are super upset about how the new comers are unable to match the ability of Didi, Lari and Cata, or even do something that is memorable. And so in the cruel world of Chinese gymternet community such gymnasts do not deserve a distinctive nickname - they ended being called Miss H, Miss I, Miss O and Miss G, things like that. 

13. Team China - 宙国 - Team Universe

Origin: This may sounds nice but it is not - it is used to mock overly nationalistic chinese fans who thinks team China deserve to win everything and anything, so much so they own the universe lmao, so they instead call these fans as “fans of team universe”. 

14. Maria Paseka - 845

Origin: The degree that Paseka is able to turn on her Amanar in 2012. She got better afterwards but the name sticked with her for life. 

15. Mattie Larson - 冷宫怨妇 - Unwanted bitter women

Origin: Not a very good translation, but its hard to be translated :/. 冷宫 is a place in ancient China where the emperor’s least popular mistress are kept, whereas 怨妇 means very bitter women. The term started after her falls on floor in the 2007 team final, and rumours had it that Marta had enough of her and is never gonna use her ever. So in that sense I guess the nickname captured what happened pretty well :/. 

16. Zhang Nan - 巨星 - Super star/Icon

Origin: Netizens just don’t understand why Zhang Nan is so well-liked by the judges, even when the fans think she did her skills poorly in some cases. And then somebody said the famous line that “because she’s a super star” and then KABOOM everybody used it to mock her. There are also variant terms such as Zhang Nan’s late-as-always Ono on bars, called the “star turn”, and a falling LOSO mount on beam, called the “star mount”. 

BONUS: 

Deng Linlin - noun. - a unit used to measure the extent of one’s leg separation. 

Example: Liukin’s cowboying on her double front is so bad its like 1.5 Deng Linlin. 

And....thats about all that I can think of, against, please don’t be offended if some of your favs are on the list, most of these terms are meant as bad jokes, and some of them have shifted in their connotations so much even the fans start to use it. To conclude, I wish all of you have a nice laugh after reading this!  I mayyyy do a second issue of this if I have more :)

#gymternet

[forgottendinosaurus]

I wrote a short thing to practice writing and throw something on this blog! 

FAHC: Dooley’s recruitment 

884 words I think, I’m on mobile so sorry 😅

With the Vagabond joining the crew, Geoff decides that one more member couldn’t hurt. An interesting decision, to say the least. 

“Gavin, do you see him?” 

“Yes! He is…” there was a pause as Gavin mapped out directions. “…down that street ahead of you, the first right. He’s in the pub.” 

As Ryan made his way down the road, he heard Michael’s distant voice in his earpiece. “It’s a bar, Gavin. You’re literally the person who argued with us for an hour that there was a difference!” 

Ryan heard Jack now, even quieter. “Michael, don’t start this now, this is a serious mission!” 

Ryan attempted to ignore all of them. A feat easier said than done. 

“Sorry Jack, but you have to admit that’s it’s annoying-” 

Ryan’s patience was short lived. “Gavin, I can hear everything everyone else in the room is saying. I’m certain that isn’t supposed to happen.” 

Ryan heard Gavin gasp in surprise, then hit some buttons and harshly whisper “Shut the fuck up” to the people behind him. “Sorry, Ry- ah, I mean, sorry, Vagabond. Sir. Man.” Gavin pinched the bridge of his nose in embarrassment. He always became very awkward when Ryan seemed frustrated. Despite Geoff’s insistence that Ryan “isn’t as bad” as his reputation makes him seem, Gavin still nearly pissed his pants every time Ryan said anything to him. Gavin couldn’t help it, Ryan was hands down the most terrifying man he had ever met. Admittedly, from his time in Ryan’s ear, Gavin noticed that Ryan didn’t seem like the type to slaughter babies in his free time or anything. But he was still intimidating. 

Through the street cameras, the Fake AH Crew watched Ryan stalk down the street towards the bar. It was late at night, and the street lamps cast an ominous glow over the sidewalk. 

Usually, Geoff was the one who went on recruitment missions, but he was out of town tonight, and it was the last night Gavin was certain their target was going to be in town. Both Jack and Michael thought that sending Ryan was an awful idea (although they would never say that to his face), but Geoff insisted they send Ryan, mask and all. 

After composing himself in the moments following his elegant conversation with Ryan, Gavin spoke again. “Okay, I recommend waiting for the target to walk outside. He looks like he’s getting ready to leave, and if you walk in now you may… cause a scene.”

Ryan nodded, assuming Gavin was watching and moved to the side of the building. About a minute after leaning against the wall, Gavin chirped in his ear again. “Okay, the target is leaving now. It’s so dark in this area I won’t be able to- oh, it looks like he’s heading towards you!” 

Well, that made it easy. Ryan saw the man walk down the alley he was stood in, and pushed off of the wall when the target was close enough. “Dooley. We need to talk.” 

The figure seemed surprised, but it took a few steps forward. “How do you know my name?” 

“We know a lot about you, a-”

Ryan was cut off as the man in front of him finally got a good look at who he was talking to. “Oh my GOD! You’re- you’re the Vagabond!” 

“Yes, but I’m not here to-” 

“Holy shit, dude, you’re like, my idol! You and the Fakes! And now you even work together and-” Jeremy paused just long enough to interrupt Ryan again. “Oh, shit, am I too far into your territory? I don’t want any trouble, I’ll just go if that’s what you want–” 

“Dooley!” Ryan managed to shut the man up. “I’m here to tell you that Geoff wants to speak to you.” 

“The Geoff?” 

At this point, Ryan was genuinely confused. “Yes, the Geoff. Listen, kid, do you want to come or not?” 

“Yes! Yes, I do! I’ll stop talking and everything.” 

Ryan sighed loudly and began walking towards his bike. “Gavin, are you still with me?” 

“Yeah, I heard all of that. Seems like you have a fan!” Ryan could practically hear the stupid expression on Gavin’s face, and he decided to ignore that comment. 

“I’m on my way back. Bringing the target with me.” Ryan began to lead Jeremy towards his motorcycle. “I parked down the road. Hope you like bikes.” 

“I’m more of a car person, but there’s nothing wrong with a good motorcycle! I’m glad I walked to the bar today, or else this may be awkward. Imagine if we had to take two different cars!” As the two of them made their way towards Ryan’s bike, Ryan had to take a moment to look at the man behind him. He was still rambling out loud, and Ryan wasn’t truly listening- he was sure he wasn’t missing much. Usually, when people saw Ryan in his full Vagabond outfit, they ran. But this kid recognized him and then became… excited. 

It made him extremely uncomfortable. 

When they reached his bike, Ryan sat first. Then, for the first time since their meeting, Jeremy seemed uncomfortable. “Hey, I won’t make it weird if you don’t.” 

Ryan actually rolled his eyes, and, for a brief moment, he wished he wasn’t wearing his mask just so this Jeremy character could see. He turned back towards Jeremy and snapped at him. “Get on or else I’m leaving without you.”

That seemed to do the trick, as the man climbed onto the back of the bike, and the bike peeled away, towards the penthouse.

Ryan already hated this. 

#fahc #gta au #fanfic #ryan haywood #jeremy dooley #early days #i write thing #i am sorry this is bad i am trying #short

[comicsatlasrp-blog]

Character Name: Zatanna Zorina Zatara Character Alias: N/A Identity Status: Public persona, private identity Character Birthday: May 20th Character Age: 27

Zatanna Zatara, it’s a name people know, it’s a face that people recognize, Zatanna Zatara: The Mistress of Magic, daughter of the famed magician Giovanni ‘John’ Zatara himself.

See the thing is, Zatanna never did fall prey to that trope about fame and fortune, she didn’t have issues with her parents, she didn’t go off on a rebellious–okay, no, strike that last one from the record. She definitely went off on a rebellious streak and yes, she totally side eyes it, but we’re getting off track. Zatanna never really worried all that much about being in her father’s shadow. Ever. Cause you know what? The bright lights of Hollywood are kind of horrifying when you’re ten, your favorite outfit involves a denim hat with a giant floppy fake flower, and to top it all off, you have braces. So yeah, she never was that concerned about making it big, she had her dad, and her older brother and that…was kind of enough, at least for her. Cause the thing is, Giovanni ‘John’ Zatara might have been ineffable and enigmatic and a little bit scary on stage, but back backstage he was just 'dad’ and it didn’t matter that he’d just sawed someone in half and put them back together with boxes, or made someone shoot across the room like a comet. What mattered was that he rubbed her head and messed up her hair before every show, and that he called her 'Rabbit’ because according to him, she was his goodluck charm. She got the very best view of the show every night because her big brother Damon’s shoulders were just the right height to make out her Dad’s wink that he sent her before the finale.

She was a huge nerd, she spat when she talked, her hair was an untameable mass of curls, and she hadn’t grown into her nose yet, she maintains that the bright flash of paparazzi bulbs are to blame for that one unfortunate photo where she looks like she has a hook nose. Everyone figured she’d grow up and make a move to get out of her dad’s shadow, but, that wasn’t really her style, sure, she loved what her dad did, she loved the way it made even skeptics question but she wasn’t looking to be her dad. Okay yeah, her dad helped her, sure, no denying it, taught her palming and slight of hand, and all the tricks a magician needs to get started, but that was it, it was just a start, everything after that, from sword swallowing to great escapes, that’s all her. The thing about Zatara’s? They don’t like asking for help, they don’t like needing it, not even Damon that time his head got stuck between the rails of the banister at that swanky hotel in New York. Okay, that might have been her, but the point stands. Help? Ha! She defies you, she’ll do it by herself or not at all. Mostly.

Her first show was when she was sixteen, she’d stayed out of the limelight so far, made appearances here or there, got out of her braces (thank jesus) and to top it off had learned a little bit of pyrotechnics. (Take that Damon! The curtains didn’t even catch fire!…this time.) It was a double act, a father daughter duo of the Zatara magical family tree, it went well…fantastic, people actually learned how to pronounce her name without that pesky extra 'n’ Zatanna. Not Zantanna, not Santanna. Zatanna. How hard was that? Christ. So yeah, she sorta made a name for herself, or, her name made a name for itself, because at the end of the day, the subheader was always, 'daughter of the great Zatara!’ and that…didn’t hurt her feelings any because she knew she had years to playing catch up.

Only. She didn’t have years after all, her Dad…went missing, and at first she couldn’t believe it because, it’s not like he could be kidnapped. How do you keep a master escape artist captive? And then, no ransom note came in, and Dad just never came back. Ever. She went looking for him, of course she did, she wasn’t sixteen anymore, she could bring her Dad back…right? Wrong, but somewhere along the way, she found out she was magic. _Real_ magic, the bibbity bobbity boo kind of stuff, and…well, she’d heard her dad say stuff backwards a few times during shows, said it was his magic words, but she’d never believed it, not with that hat tip and wink. Then again, she’d never believed in real magic either.

She’s not proud of it but here’s where that rebellious stage came in, the name of that rebellious stage was John Constantine and she spent…way too long with that rebellious stage, and that’s what she calls it, it’s like an etch-a-sketch, swipe it over and maybe she can ignore the latent embarrassment. She blames the magic. And the accent.

Then of course, she found her dad, only, he didn’t want to be found, there was this place, Shadowcrest, and it belonged to the Zatara family, which, was kind of mindblowing because apparently this really was a family act. The Zatara line is a long and illustrious one, one that goes all the way back to famed artist and magician Leonardo da Vinci himself. Zatanna Zatara, the youngest daughter of the line of Zatara. The line known for defining generations, making leaps and bounds in the world of knowledge…Yeah, no pressure or anything. Course, that was before she found out that she was related to Nicholas Flamel, and also he was real. Fuck.

Well, there was this…demon, thing chasing after Dear Old Dad and well, magical escapades with John aside, she wasn’t…fantastic? At the whole magic thing, at least, not enough to ward off a demon lord called the Great Terrible Beast, and what kind name is that anyway? Etch-a-sketch, we’re skipping this part, point is, Zatanna lost her dad that day, and, well, everyone else already thought he was missing anyway. He’s got a grave, she couldn’t bear to get him cremated, and even though everyone but her and Damon think it’s empty, people still showed up just to say goodbye.

She threw herself into work, the family name was by now a familiar mantle, and the shadow they cast didn’t so much hold her back or hide her, as lift her up, she part of something, something strong, amazing. Magical. But the stage lights can only do so much, and fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, trust her, she knows, she’s got a photo of her in that hat floating around on line somewhere along with that time she decided blond would be a good idea. She doesn’t know how they got it or where it came from but she blames 4chan she really does, and she blames twitter for why she knows what 4chan is. Whatever, we’re off track. So, Zatanna settled down in New York City, her dad’s second favorite city, sure, but she could only deal with LA for so long before she felt like her brain was melting. She does shows, sometimes, always spur of the moment, always with no tickets, she sat down and wrote a novel, Hex Appeal: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Magic. Then she figured, why stop there? She opened a bar, Hexuality, it caters to the magic crowd, people who use strings, and people who use spells, what’s it matter to her?

She’s lived a life, been on dates with jerkbags, spent much too much time in Gotham, and somewhere along the way, with demons, and angels, come hell or high water, she found a way to live a life. Now she’s a small time bartender in New York City and she never knows who’s going to walk through her door, superhero, super villain, magic user or average joe, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, making friends with drunks and magicians beats waiting for the other shoe to drop, and running away can only last so long, a city with this many people, she really hopes she can get lost in the crowd.

#dc #taken #bios #zatanna zatara #long post for ts

[cactipresident]

Far Speech

I wrote a thing guise. I'm sorry my bbois

Angus wasn’t supposed to hear anything. The boy detective was supposed to have been asleep, passed out in his corner. This was his go to spot when his friends left and they couldn’t contact them, which in his opinion happened way too much. 

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop because eavesdropping is something bad boys do when they’re not detectiving or helping taako find out juicy secrets on other BoB members. Its just the Director wasn’t being quiet. Yes this was her office but she knew Angus was in the corner. She knew there was a potential the boy could hear more then she wanted him to. But she talked anyway.

“Fuck…” It was quiet and sad, almost like she witnessed immense tragedy from within the confines of her office. It was laden with guilt he couldn’t place, which actually annoyed him. He was the boy detective, he should know why his moon mom was so upset.

“ Avi… Please get in here.” She called into her stone of far speech quietly as if still conscious of the boy in the corner but still needing to get whatever business this was done. Though his eyes were closed, Angus could hear the door to The Director’s office open and the confident gait of Avi shortly after.

“What’s up boss?” It was an attempt to seem unnerved. There was a tone of anxious energy about his voice. It was probably because everyone on the moon base was aware they lost contact with the reclaimers. Everyone knew the hope of finding all the relics relied on the boys doing their job well and usually they got the job done…sorta well. But losing contact with them always put everyone on edge, especially their friends.

Angus heard The Director fidget and pause as if rereading whatever made her call Avi in the first place. “Please tell me I’m reading this wrong.” Her voice was filled with painful hope. Whatever she read she knew had to be false otherwise something bad was going on. Angus immediately perked up. Usually bad was synonymous with his friends and he needed to be sure they were okay.

There was another pause and she spoke up again, “ He’s fine. He’s been up for almost a full day and crashed about an hour ago so he should still be asleep for another 4 hours at least.” Little did she know he never actually went to sleep, Taako had been teaching him how to meditate as well so he never would need to waste precious hours sleeping again.

There was another pause and Avi moved again though his foot falls this time seemed less sure and more uneasy.

“Fuck” Avi repeated The Directors statement for earlier unknowingly. Now Agnus really wanted to know what was in this document. “How could… This has to be fake right? I mean, come on! Its Magnus! Our big, beefy, dog loving, Tank Magnus. He… God, this can’t be right…” Angus heard Avi sit down, well more like crash down. His voice was bordering on hysterical as he continued commenting on what he saw. “ I refuse to believe this ,Director."

Agnus couldn’t take not seeing what was going on anymore, slowly he opened his eyes slightly, enough where he could see everything all fuzzy like but they would still think he was asleep. He saw The Director cradling her head in her hands, her shoulder sagging. He saw Avi staring wide eyed in disbelief at what he just read, hand shaking in badly repressed anger.

But worst of all he saw a screen displaying the life signs of his friends, each silver bracer feeding back information on the health and location of the wearer. A permanent fixture that was unremovable by any magic Agnus knew. An unremovable feature that wasn’t sending back information on Magnus. A lifeline that was reading no life what so ever. All vital information on his friend was gone, like he just took off the bracer that literally no one could take off. Angus couldn’t help but stare, eyes wide. He felt the telltale prick of tears on his eyes as the screen seemed to stare him down with its lack of information.

“ This has to be faulty, right? I mean during their fun time in Refuge you told me they came back reading dead at least every couple minutes if not more."

“ It has been like this for several minutes, Avi."

Silence. Avi slumped further in his seat defeated. The Director just stared at the screen,her eyes blank and numb. She couldn’t seem to comprehend fully what happened. Unfortunately, Angus could.

In a fast move that seemed to shock the two out of their depressed stupor, Angus jumped up and ran from the room. Ran from the taunting screen telling him that someone he came to see as a brother didn’t exist anymore.

He heard the director call after him but he couldn’t stay in that room. He needed to get as far away as possible.

As if on autopilot, his little legs carried him to the trio’s room. They all shared a common space but it separated off into three rooms each vastly different inside as his friends were. His feet gravitated to the room seeming to overflow with arms and little carvings done over the year.

For a moment he just stood in the doorway, taking in everything the room had to offer. It was purely Magnus the way the chaos seemed to have order. His newer creations were preached closer to his bed while the older one seemed to have been shoved back closer to the door. The closer Angus looked towards the bed, the more he noticed things like ducks and arms poking through the mess. Slowly walking through the wooden chaos, the boy detective tentatively sat on the edge of Mangus’ bed. It was huge, made for two people but one Magnus, comfortably anyway.

Angus just sat, staring at nothing and everything. Magnus couldn’t be dead. He’d know it if he was. He’d be able to feel the void in his heart. Right? The tears that had threatened to fall in the Director’s office finally followed through marking their thin trails down his tiny face. Numbly he pulled out his own stone of farspeach. Maybe if he just tried one more time, he get an answer. Maybe Taako, Merle and Magnus were just having some fun, playing another trick on him. That had to be it.

The stone felt too heavy in his hands. He never noticed the weight of the thing before though he didn’t think it was ever this cumbersome to lift to his face. It seemed the very weight of the situation out itself into his only connection to the boys.

“Kchhhhhh!”

The loud sound broke the silence suddenly, Angus nearly throwing the stone across the room in shock. He remembered briefly it made that same sound when the trio got out of Refuge. With a tiny flame of hope he brought it up to his face again and heard someone talking though not to him.

It sounded like… No one he ever heard before. Their deep voice seemed to rattle the very room Angus sat in despite the fact it was coming in muffled and distorted.

“I don’t blame you for not trusting me right now, but I promise everythings going to make sense real soon.” The voice seemed to try to pacify. Knowing his friends they were fighting or being difficult with the person on the other side. Taako probably had a spell already ready even though no one could tell. Merle was probably casting Zone of Truth just to really get what they need out of the mystery person. Magnus was probably… Angus looked up again, wiping the tears from eyes. The room even smelt like him.

“ I literally have nothing to lose so sure."

The voice felt louder than anything Agnus could have imagined even though it wasn’t yelled like he usually did. The tears were stronger but now they were of joy. He knew the screen was wrong. He knew Magnus was still alive!

“Sirs, sirs, are you there?” The boy called, a dopey wet grin on his face. His friends were alive. They were perfectly fine! “ Sirs!? You’ve been offline for a while? Sirs?!” He called again when he was met with silence. Maybe they weren’t perfectly fine. What they went through must have been especially difficult if they were ignoring him. Well they ignored him a lot but not usually after missions. After missions he’d hug them and cry and they’d pretend they absolutely hated it.

Magnus’ voice called out over the stone again, his very voice bringing a wider smile to the detective’s face.“Do it."

“ Do what,sir?"

“ I want a Receipt” Merle called out to someone.” I didn’t want to talk to the kid anyway.” He grumbled though sounding further away and thoroughly annoyed. He usually used that voice when talking to or about Angus so he was used to it.

There was silence again. They must have been passing the stones around because there sounded to be jostling over the communication, like someone knocked two of the stones together.

“Sirs?” Why was no one answering him? He thought they were dead, why weren’t they telling him they were fine and alive and safe? What if they weren’t? “Sirs?!” He called out more frantically over the stone. He just needed one of them to acknowledge him. Let him know they were okay!

“Taako?” Magnus called out to the wizard, ignoring the boy again. Something was off. Agnus didn’t notice before but he sounded just slightly off. Almost like his voice was coming from behind a wooden wall or something. What happened to them?

“Yea… alright.” Came the hesitant reply of his mentor. Like he regretted not answering Agnus. What was stopping them from answering him?! Who was stopping them!?

“ Sirs, please! Please just answer me! I need to know you’re alright! Please, I can’t lose you guys again! Taako! Merle! Mag-” He was abruptly cut off by hissing static, the kind that only came when the other stone was no longer useable. The kind of static he never wanted to hear from his closest friends.

That was where the Director found him, curled up in Magnus’ bed with his stone of farspeach hissing by his head. His eyes shut tight as the quiet sobs racked through him as the hissing just continued. He felt the bed press down as the Director sat next to him before scooping him up into her arms. As if on instinct he curled deeper into her embrace as if she could block him from the pain. He had to believe his friends were okay, despite the fact they never destroyed their stones before. He had to believe they did it for a reason even if Taako sounded upset about it, almost as if he was forced. He had to believe there was a real and important reason none of them could tell him they were fine.

If he stopped believing for a second, Angus thinks he might not be okay ever again

#taz #taz spoilers #angus mcdonald #the director #avi taz #the adventure zone #taako taaco #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #Fan fiction #Mine #I hurt my boy #my beautiful magic boy

[charactersadvocatechimata]

Law of Life: Redheads are Absolute 2

Phanananh politely asked for a sequel with emojis. And seeing as how I love emojis, and I’m weak to their great and terrible power I wrote this. There probably going to be a third part involving Winter. Maybe. It was a great distraction from my main fic on AO3 which I need to finish but haven’t because of my brain. MY BRAIN! *shakes fist*  But for now enjoy this.

“Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark. Are you dead? Cause that would suck.”

“Woaleemirsaar.”

“There’s your proof of life Nat.”

“что он сказал?” (What did he say?)

“Don’t know. Can’t see his lips.”

Why are the little minions even bothering Tony right now? Shouldn’t they be off doing minion things like making weird noises at electronic screens or stabbing stuff? Nat seems really into stabbing stuff which Tony is totally okay with because no one has stabbed him or his work. Matter of fact stabbing makes great exercise, all that arm movement, and jabbing motion. Gah! Where is his brain even going? Coffee. Everything will be solved with coffee. “Ooosheeee.”

“What?”

Sigh. Just all the signing and all the needing of coffee. Tony finally makes a serious effort to roll himself onto his back to make it easier for the whole goddamn world to understand him. “I said do not call me Mr. Stark. Like ever. In fact, that’s my first rule, no one in this house is a Mr. Stark. B, I need coffee to live. Where is the coffee?”

“No coffee.” Clint's scrunches his nose. “What am I supposed to call you, Ma?” Tesla why? Why would anyone want to call him any parent pronoun of parentage? He is a terrible young adult not fit to be a role model let alone raising small humans. To top it off. To top the whole fucking situation off is the fact there is no coffee. No fucking coffee. Why would the universe do this to him? He has done nothing to deserve this. Okay, that’s a bold faced lie but taking away his coffee is a cruel and unusual punishment. Tony will sue the Universe. Somehow. Maybe a robot lawyer would work? “Mr. Stark?”

“Gah! Tony. Call me Tony. No one is Mr. Stark. One rule corncob. Follow the one rule.” Tony huffs staring authoritatively at the ceiling. “Now why don’t we have coffee?”

“I’m guessing you didn’t put it on the list. We need other stuff besides coffee.”

“No, I put everything we needed on that list.”

“Sure you did. That is if humans can live off of entertainment. Which we can’t. We need stuff like toothbrushes and shampoo. Not to mention we’re almost out of food.”

“Okay. New plan. You make a new list of things like coffee and toothpaste.”

“And food.” Clint waits watching Tony patiently with a look very similar to the one Rhodey wore when Tony was acting like reality wasn't a thing. Cause reality wasn’t a thing and one day Tony would prove it.

“And food.”

“Good. I’ll even add a coffee machine to the list since you probably want to drink the stuff and not just chew on the beans.” Right. Tony forgot that coffee required a coffee machine and didn’t just materialize. It was a miraculous day when Tony finally taught Dum-E how to make coffee.

“You do that. I’ll just lay on this nice smooth floor until my brain comes back online.” Clint snorts, his blonde head disappearing from Tony’s view only to be replaced with red. Nat blinked then apparently deciding that sitting on Tony’s stomach would afford her some advantage. Tony finds it hard to be irritated since Nat’s serious face is adorable. Probably all part of her master plan.

“Каковы мои заказы?” (What are my orders?)  

“What makes you think I'm the type to give orders? Typically I'm the guy that ignore orders just for the hell of it.” Tony pauses feeling Nat’s weight atop his stomach and acting far less wary of him. “Aren't you acting a little impertinent for someone asking for me to give them some orders? You should know to be wary around adults.” Nat snuggles down into Tony’s stomach, and her eyes cast off to the side trying to absorb his words.

“Вы не в состоянии мне больно. Омега являются слабыми.” (You are incapable of hurting me. Omega’s are weak.)

“You’re adorable. But trust me on this, anyone can find a way to hurt you for any number of reasons.”

“That’s seriously depression thing to say to a kid. Aren’t adults supposed to hide how fucked up the world is from us, innocent children?”

“Both you and Nat know the world isn’t rainbows and puppies and I’m trying to respect your intelligence by acting appropriately.” Clint nods and Tony gets the feeling that he’s passed another test. Not surprising he is a genius, although people are often harder to comprehend. Tony likes Rhodey’s theory that the genius has too much science sense to make any room for some common sense.

“Lunch is ready.”

“What happened to breakfast? It is the most important meal of the day.”

“We couldn’t wake you.”

“Huh. Apologies, I guess. I work better with coffee.”

“Noted.” Clint snorts out.

Tony would make a comment about snot nosed brats and sass and how there is no coffee for him to deal with anything. But the kid is making food and Jarvis did teach him that one should always respect the food maker. He tries to sit up and finding it difficult because Nat has decided that Tony’s lap is her new throne. She small so Tony has no trouble lifting the little redhead and perching her on his hip. Like Nanna did with him once upon a time. “Now my little warrior, as for your question, there will be no orders from me. I’m allergic to responsibility which means orders are completely out of my wheelhouse.”

“Там должна быть цепь команд.” (There must be a chain of command.)

“Okay, Mimmo. I elect Clint.”

“Fuck no! My dream is to be the laziest arrow man on the planet, and that can’t happen if I get a reputation for hard work or finishing things.” The kid has a point, hard working people often get dumped with an additional amount of work with all kinds of assholes taking advantage of them. Just look at Pepper.

“It decided. We’ll be a democracy. First order of business is to figure out what are goals should be.”

“Мадам говорит, что демократия это иллюзия, созданная бессмысленного, кто игнорирует большую потребность сильного лидера.” (Madame says that democracy is an illusion created by the mindless who ignore the greater need for a strong leader.) My what a mouthful.

“Lunch is served.” Tony blinks dumbly, but his body manages to carefully place Nat in her seat before slumping into his own while his brain tries to unwrap Nat’s WHAT THE FUCK statement. Because seriously, who talks like that except crazy cult leaders.

“Bloody hell, I thought you two were adopted from a terrorist group, not from the delusional cult land where drinking the kool aid is literally the last thing you do. Please tell me neither of you drank the kool aid.”

“Obviously not or according to you we would be dead.”

“No mocking Corncob.”

“Я не пил никаких отравляющих напитков.” (I didn't drink any poison beverages.)

“Of course you didn’t Mimmo. You’re sensible girl.” Nat nods looking pleased and stabbing her fork into her bowl of noodles twirling them with a finesse that Tony probably couldn’t accomplish now, let only when he was nine. But seeing the girl eat relaxed him and Tony shifted his gaze to Clint who was merely shifting the food around.

Probably feeling Tony’s stare, Clint glance up and even bites his lip. “Can I ask you something before we do the whole goal thing?”

“Sure. Shoot away Corncob.”

“How can you stand up against Alpha so easily?” Tony can feel his eyes bulge cause people didn’t usually ask that they just decided Tony was a defected Omega and that was that. It’s what Howard had done. It’s what the media had done, and frankly Tony hadn’t expected anything different from anyone. Except for Bruce but Green Bean was like Tony and hardly counted.

“I’m a super Omega which means you need to be a super Alpha if you want to force me into anything. Although, I’ve found treating me with respects goes a long way.” It’s what Rhodey did and what Pepper sort of does in her completely understandable mindset Bitch Queen of the World.

“There’s no such thing as a super Omega,” Clint scoffs.

“Who's the genius here? You or me?”

“Котик гений.” (Kitten is the genius.)

“Did you just call me kitten?” Tony asks unbelievably.

“Да, ты котенок.” (Yes, you are a kitten.) Nat states with firm finality, face serious, and arms crossed. And well Tony wasn’t about to argue that particularly since he gave people nicknames like they were mooing cows in a tornado. When it appeared to Nat that Tony wasn’t going to argue with her, she gave another final nod and went back to her food while Tony turned his attention back to Clint.

Clint who was still poking at his food. “Corncob is something the matter?” The kid inhales shakily, and his eyes are slightly wet.

“I just wanted to know if there some trick to beating biology, but there isn’t and I’m stuck. Fucking stuck!” Clint tugs on his hair and banging his head on the table. Tony looks heavenward because Clint is clearly a beta and shouldn’t fear an Alpha the way Omegas do. On the other hand, Tony explicitly knows that bullies and being bullied doesn’t necessarily follow along traditional orientation lines.

“Clint.” Tony waits wanting the boy to look him in the eyes for this. “My only piece of advice is to keep what you want in sight then fake the confidence till you achieve your goals. You got it?” Clint nods. “Good. So what is your goal?”

Clint juts his jaws, eyes fierce and voice strong says “I want to protect those that are important to me. I want to stop bullies.” Tony internally kicks himself because he is going to keep this one too. Pepper will kill him, but at least his cucciolos would be taken care of properly.

The genius pulls the pad towards him then replaced the noodle bowl with the papers but giving Clint a pointed glare that food was to be eaten. Tony quickly makes three columns for each of them and simply place 'escape' under his name. “Clint wants the ability to protect people, but there are multiple ways to achieve that.” Tony lifts a questioning eyebrow to the pup.

“Ножи хороши для рук в руки. Оружие лучше.” (Knives are good for hand to hand. Guns are better.)

Clint makes a face and makes several jerking movements with his hands. “No guns.” Tony smiles encouragingly. “I like arrows and some hand to hand moves would be cool.”

“Archery for Clint.”

“Альфа может научить вас, как бороться.” (Alpha could teach you how to fight.) Tony wrote that down, but he wasn’t sure the kidnapper would provide his victims with the necessary skills to escape. Tony had been raised by Howard Stark and Peggy Carter, he knew spies and killers. And the Alpha was like nothing he'd ever seen before. Clint could maybe take him in twenty years, trained by the Alpha himself perhaps a decade. So the likelihood of the Alpha teaching some moves was pretty high.

“Any goals for you Mimmo?” Nat stops breathing, moving, with not a single twitch and wide eyes glued to Tony. He smiles understanding Nat's reservation, after all, cults have never been known for the whole free thinking agency thing. Tony, however, is all over self-agency and his bots are proof of that. His bots. Tony tamps down on a shiver, his bots were asleep for now and unlikely to wake till Tony got home.

“Я люблю танцевать.” (I like dancing.) Tony grins, remembering her muted glee when receiving some ballerina shoes and a boombox to play classic music. Nat grits her teeth and a murderous expression flashing across her face. “Я не хочу быть больно когда-либо снова.” (I don’t want to be hurt ever again.) There, not much Tony can say to that except try and make the future better. He's a futurist that at least is in his wheelhouse.

“Right. Archery, ballet, and self-defense lessons. One future Robin Hood and one future ninja ballerina on the list. Great goals.”

“Каковы ваши цели котенка?” (What are your goals kitten?)

“Umm, escaping?” Which Tony should devise a plan for. Get the Alpha to sympathize with him so he might let them all go. Actual, at this point Tony would just like to know why the Alpha kidnapped him in the first place. The man hasn’t asked for SI secrets or for Tony to build anything. Raccoon Man hasn’t even smacked the genius around due to frustration at the fact Howard refused to pay any ransom.  

“Нет. В будущем.” (No. For the future.) Nat’s eyes shine with sincerity and Tony finds himself opening up to the cucciolos.

“I want to create the first learning artificial intelligence.”

“You’re trying to create Skynet?”

“No, Corncob. JARVIS. I’m trying to create JARVIS.” Tony says as he writes the message to the Alpha.

First||Next

#tony stark #clint barton #natasha romanoff #avengers #kidfic #LL:RA