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l0vergirlwrites · 6 days

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gulity as sin ; eddie munson

synopsis: since eddie joined your friend group, you’ve fallen for him. but sometimes the feelings you’ve harboured for him make you feel guilty—but he’s just too dreamy, so how could anyone blame you?

warnings: sexual innuendos, mentions of weed & alcohol & partying, mentions of sexual thoughts, downbad!reader & eddie, love confession & makeout!!!!

note: i just had to get this out of my system but i’ll write my next ttpd fic based on the winning things on the polls don’t worry!!

“just so you know, you’re staring at eddie like you wanna fuck him” robin whispered in your ear as she came to your side with extra vcr tapes to stack near the back of the store.

“jesus! am i really?” you asked in a hushed whisper, face crowing warm with embarrassment. you couldn’t help it when eddie just looked so good as he leaned on the front counter talking to steve.

while you mentally face palmed yourself, robin gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “just a little bit”

peeking back over her shoulder at eddie to make sure he wasn’t looking at you (because you’re anxious & paranoid), you let out a breath of relief. “you think he noticed?”

she laughed “i hope not”

letting out a quiet gasp, you shoved robin’s shoulder “thanks for the vote of confidence, rob” you said sarcastically.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!—but seriously…” she paused for moment to create dramatic effect. “when are you gonna fess up & tell him how you feel?”

the big question.

with a big sigh, you shook your head in retreat. “probably never. it’s just some stupid crush—& besides, we’re just friends. i don’t know if he’d like me like that, rob.” you said while getting back to work, trying to get the image of eddie’s ring clad hands out of your mind so you could focus.

“is that really how you feel? or is your fear of rejection speaking for you?”

narrowing your eyes at her, you rolled your eyes knowing she was kidding (but was she? were you really hiding behind a guise so you wouldn’t get hurt?).

“you know,” she paused to look at eddie. “if he doesn’t want to jump your bones, i’d be floored” she said cheekily, causing you to nudge her rib cage.

“he doesn’t” you stated, but in your mind you hated the thought of it.

“if that’s what’ll help you sleep at night” she chided before moving onto a different shelf, the open space letting your eyes drift back to eddie, only to find that he was looking right at you.

“you coming to the party by reefer rick’s place on the weekend? i convinced stevie boy here to tag along—“

“—& to be the DD. i don’t know how i got roped into this” steve cut eddie off with an exasperated expression.

with the spotlight (eddie’s eyes) on you, you couldn’t help but feel stuck in place & your mind was running a million miles a minute.

clearing your throat, you nodded. “yeah sure! i should be able to if keith doesn’t make me come in last minute”

the last sentence caused eddie to roll his eyes.

“who cares about what keith says—you’re coming & you’re gonna have fun! you’re deserving of blowing off some steam, right?” eddie said convincingly.

“he’s right! fuck keith & his stupid last minute shift calls“ robin agreed with steve soon following suit.

jokingly with your hands up in surrender, you finally agreed. “maybe you guys are right…”

“of course we are, babe!”

the pet name eddie called you made your stomach flip in six directions, your face growing warm until steve beat you to speak.

“when the hell did ‘babe’ get into your vocabulary, munson?” he asked eddie with a quizzical eye.

“oh calm your tits harrington—“

“hey man, i don’t have tits & i am calm so shut—“

“hey!” you yelled, shutting them both up. “no bickering on my watch, idiots” you pointed to them both, causing eddie to place his right hand in his heart in apology.

“what do you expect,” robin chimed in. “they’re five year olds”

you both laughed a bit at her comment while the guys just rolled their eyes.

“well, i’m gonna head out & prep for my next campaign. butttt, i’ll see you geeks saturday?” he asked while twirling his van keys around his index finger.

before steve could try to rebuttle against eddie about him calling you all “geeks”, you beat him to it.

“yes—we’ll be there! bye eds” you waved sweetly, your hand flattering when eddie shot you a wink before heading out the door.

as the glass door chimed & shut after his departure, you immediately turned to robin.

“he winked at me!” you mouthed to her with excitement.

“are you guys secretly talking without including me, again?”

turning to steve, you gave him an apologetic look. “she was just fawning over how eddie winked at her” robin said with a nonchalant smile, causing you to gasp.

“robin—“

“why do you care if he—wait… ohhh… that makes sense” he lit up like a light bulb, going back to checking through the return log on the computer.

you stood there stumped at his reaction.

“is me liking eddie predictable?” you asked aloud, causing steve & robin to share a glance.

“yes” they said collectively, leaving you to sigh & turn back to the shelf to finish stacking the pile of tapes.

**~*~**~*~*~**~*~~*~**~*~*~~***~*

it was now saturday, & you were on speaker phone with robin as you were getting ready for the party.

you had decided to wear a short flowy black skirt, fishnet tights, your favourite black boots, & a dark green babytee with your favourite band on it. it was simple, but cute (& you secretly hoped eddie would think the tights were a nice touch).

“do you think you’ll tell eddie how you feel once you get some liquid courage in you?” she asked genuinely.

with a thoughtful sigh, you stopped applying blush to your right cheek. “gosh, rob—i don’t know. i don’t think it’s a good idea”.

you could tell she was shaking her head from the other side of the phone.

“remember when i was too afraid to tell vicky i liked her?”

you knew what she was gonna say. “yes, i do”

“so, you remember how you told me i should just ‘go for it! do it before it’s too late—what’s the worst that could happen?’, right?”

you slumped in your desk chair, fidgeting with your makeup brush. “yes…”

“sooo, you gotta practice what you preach—tell him before you regret it!” she encouraged, but still, you were horrified to.

“what if—“

she shushed you. “no what ifs. don’t do that to yourself—just be honest when the right moment comes along”

staying silent for a moment, you thought it over in your head before coming to a conclusion.

“maybe you are right, robin”

“i’m always right—regardless of what steve says” her words made you laugh, relieving you of a little stress.

**~*~*~~~*~***~*~**~**~*~*~~*

it was now nine-thirty on the dot & you could hear steve’s beamer honking from your driveway, signalling that it’s time to go. as soon as you stepped onto your driveway, you were met with hollers & whistles from your friends in the car—including eddie.

as soon as you saw him with his head out the window, whistling & vocally saying “shit y/n, looking good!”, you could’ve sworn you were going to collapse then & there.

shushing them before their hyper annoyed your neighbours, you (coincidentally) got into the backseat with eddie.

“you have everything?” steve asked before reversing the car.

“yes, dad” you joked before a silver flask was shoved into your lap.

“got you your favourite” eddie told you with a smile, causing you to audibly “awe” & thank him before taking a swing from it.

despite steve having a fancy car, the backseat was surprisingly small, so you knew it was going to be a long night with how your thigh is already pressed into eddie’s & his fingers were tapping his jean clad thigh dangerously close to your exposed one.

you caught him every now & then staring at your tights too, which didn’t help the fantasies brewing in your mind of him taking them off you.

“you excited?” you asked him while steve & robin were caught in their own conversation.

swiping his tongue across his teeth, he looked at you with a gaze that made your stomach tighten. “as long as you stick close by, then yeah i’m excited” he nudged you gently, allowing you a moment to process what he just fucking said.

tucking your hair behind your ears (a sign that you were nervous & liked him & were going insane), you let the conversation drift into comfortable silence as steve turned the radio up.

thank god for that.

**~*~~**~**~***~**~*~~**~**~*

the party eddie brought you guys to was packed at some random house on lover’s lake.

& it reeked of pot & beer, which was normal & expected.

with the flask eddie gave you in your right hand & eddie’s hand in your other (because the front lawn was packed & he didn’t want to lose you), your group maneuvered your way inside to disco party lights, sweaty bodies, more pot & more beer.

your grip on eddie’s hand was taut as you continued sliding past more & more people while muttering “excuse me, sorry!” over & over until you guys arrived on the dance floor.

“do you want anything?” eddie leaned down & whispered into your ear so you could hear over the music.

you took a second to answer because of how warm his breath felt against your skin. “no i’m okay, i got this remember?” you said with a smile, holding up the flask he gave you.

returning you a smile, eddie let go of your hand because robin was pulling you to dance a little.

“be back in five!” eddie mouthed to you, holding up five fingers & looking at you until you waved in acknowledgment.

“okay there’s no way he doesn’t want you” robin yelled into your ear as the song changed & people roared happily.

laughing & shaking your head, you disagreed.

“cmon! let’s just dance, yeah? destress!” steve yelled to you both before bopping his head to the music, causing you & robin to look at each other before laughing & join in.

the more songs played & the more you swing back eddie’s flask, you could feel yourself letting loose a little—possibly even making you feel courageous.

so much so that when eddie returned with a red solo cup with some sort of drink, you slung your arm around his middle for a quick hug.

“missed me?” he yelled in your ear.

“just maybe” you replied, feeling his right hand rub your arm up & down before fetching a joint from his pocket.

“missed me more now?” he asked again, laughing when you nodded your head, eyes glassy from the smoke in the room that was building.

“outside?” he yelled again, & you were the only one that agreed.

*~*~*~~*~~*~*~~**~***~*

departing from steve & robin to go smoke, eddie grabbed your hand once again & kept you close as you both made your way to the back porch that outlooked onto the water.

the backyard was still filled with people, especially jocks who were doing dumb keg games, but you didn’t mind. with your back against the siding of the house & eddie in front of you, caging you in, all you saw was him.

& god he looked hot. his hair was a bit frizzy, but his leather jacket managed to showcase his muscular arms & his slightly cropped band tee allowed you to see the happy trail on his abdomen.

it took everything in your power not to fold then & there.

“you want the first hit?” eddie asked as passed you his drink & pulled his lighter out of his pocket.

with a simple nod, you placed the joint between your lipstick covered lips & leaned forward for eddie to light the end of it for you. the action felt extremely intimate & already hand your skin tingling.

with the joint slotted between your fingers, you took a few hits & relished in the buzzed feeling it already gave you. & knowing eddie & is interest in pot, you knew whatever was wrapped within the joint was the good shit.

while you were taking your hits, eddie was reminding himself to not get hard at the thought of your lipstick rubbing off onto the joint or how you looked pretty with smoke exhaling from your mouth—he could feel his pants start to feel the tiniest bit tight at his view of you.

when you handed the joint to him, eddie stood beside you on the wall & took his time (possibly so you could look at him a little longer?).

& you didn’t care because he just looked too perfect with his head tilted up, the veins in his neck showing in the porch light, the joint rested between his ring clad fingers—you could already imagine yourself getting off to this image of him later—but you reminded yourself to stay cool.

everything was fine! you guys were just friends!

“you feeling okay?” eddie asked, turning to you who was already giving him soft doe eyes.

“better than okay” you smiled, leaning your head against his shoulder because you felt too warm under his gaze.

“wanna get off inside?” you heard him ask, causing you to cough & blink for a moment.

“shit—what did you say?” you looked at him, feeling his hand begin to interlock with yours again.

“i asked if you wanna go back inside—you sure you’re good?”

oh god, now you were hearing things.

“y-yeah, good idea” you mumbled as you followed his lead, holding on tight to avoid getting broken apart through the sea of teenagers & college students.

you only broke apart when robin pulled you in for a hug, hearing her say “it felt like you were gone for ages!”

for the rest do the night, you told yourself to he lost in the music rather than thoughts of eddie munson doing nasty things to you, which was going pretty successful until you felt his breath on your neck again.

“wanna dance?”

& how on earth could you say no?!?!

you let him pull you into his arms, his hands firm on your waist while yours were loose around his neck.

with the pot & other alcohol mixing in your system, you felt on top of the world. especially with eddie’s eyes on you. he’d twirl you around in circles & give you room to dance your heart out with him in your grasp & steve & robin would give each other knowing glances about whatever was brewing between you too.

you felt hot, sticky, & tingly all over your skin (not just because eddie was touching you) so you pulled his head down a bit to yell in his ear. “i’m gonna find a washroom!” & he was leading you around the house to find one without a question.

once you both found one of the third floor of this outrageous house, you pulled eddie in with you & turned on the light, thankful there was a dim setting.

“jesus, that was bright!” eddie shielded his eyes, causing you to laugh as you hopped up onto the counter.

exhaling a sigh of relief, you let your head lean back & rest against the mirror while eddie leaned against the closed door.

“do you need me to like, turn around or something…?” he asked, wondering what you were going to do.

“no—i just wanted to go somewhere quieter. less sweaty bodies”

he nodded understandingly before shamefully looking you up & down, telling himself to not get hard at the sight of you so pretty. you were already falling down a rabbit hole of all the things you want to do with him right now, each more dirty than the next—it would be just so easy for him to take off your skirt & unbuckle his pants—wouldn’t it?

but the guilt started to seep in & make you hide your face to groan in annoyance because why on earth were you spiralling like this?

“is something wrong?” he walked to you, holding your wrists & pulling them away to uncover you.

“just going insane is all” you replied, causing you both to laugh until he reached up to wipe off some of your smudged eyeliner from your under eye. he just needed to touch you somehow.

“guess what an old friend told me while i was getting a drink earlier”

you tilted your head in wonder, staring directly at eddie’s lips as he spoke.

“he saw us walk inside & told me that we looked like some couple from a movie—don’t remember which one though…” he ended with a murmur, too focussed on swiping his thumb on your cheek until you spoke up.

“is that a bad thing?” you asked, suddenly feeling small in this washroom with his hand directly on your skin.

eddie was closing in on you now, & you didn’t want it to stop.

you instantly felt sober now. especially with how each swipe on your skin felt like he was making you his—which was definitely an exaggeration but how could you need feel that way when he was holding you so delicately?

shaking his head ‘no’, eddie’s brows furrowed. “of course not—it’s not a bad thing. i-i just thought it was, i dunno, cute—“

“cute?” you questioned softer than him, a smile in the beginning stages of forming on your face.

was this your moment that robin was talking about? you sure hoped so.

“i-i think that’s the right word” he stumbled over his words, feeling your right hand brush some hair out of his face.

“i think so too”

& then there was comfortable silence.

you weren’t sure how to move forward from here. do you tell him all your feelings for him that you’ve keep hidden in a vault at the back of your mind? do you tell him that you’ve been fantasizing about him for weeks? that he’s the only one that makes you feel so many things?

you wish this part was easier.

“would it be, i dunno, uncalled for if i told you that you’ve been driving me crazy?” eddie asked, immediately unlocking said vault inside you.

“are you serious?” you asked, completely sober now as you pulled his hand away from your face & fixed your posture, eyes locked on his for the answer.

“as serious as the dead” his breath hitched, unsure if he made things worse or misread whatever signs you sent, but before he could apologize your hands were already on his face to pull his lips to yours.

it was a messy, top lip & hungry kiss that you’ve been dying to experience since you first laid eyes on him. & god did it felt right, with his tongue meshing with yours & his hands gripping your fishnet covered thighs as he pulled you closer to his body with aching need.

it was the kind of kiss that tried to convey just how you felt about him, the wanting & lusting from afar, the longing glances & lip bites when he made you feel a certain type of way.

it was catastrophic & heavy but sweet with laboured breaths of beer & smudged lipstick.

“holy shit” eddie breathed out against your lips, chasing him for another kiss because it was just that good but you were smiling & clashing your teeth against his & giggling from how silly it all felt.

“that is why i’ve been going insane” you panted against him, hands falling to grip the cotton of his shirt.

“i’m crazy about you eddie. & it’s not the drugs talking, i promise” you swore, scouts honour.

with his forehead pressing against yours & laugh escaping his lips that had little bits of your lipstick, he squeezed your thighs. “i would hope not, ‘cause i’m really crazy about you too”

you closed your eyes now, relishing in the weight lifting off your shoulders & how his touch felt electric. “eddie” you exhaled.

“yeah, sweetheart?” his fingers were pressing different patterns on your thighs to the point where you asked in yourself if he was writing ‘mine’ across the fishnet material.

“can we do this again tomorrow?” you asked, already longing for this feeling to last, praying this wouldn’t be just a one time thing at a party.

“i don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon, so yeah, i think we can make it happen” eddie smirked, kissing you quick before pulling back to see your swollen lips.

“wanna go back to the party & surprise the geeks?”

“i’d love to”

& with eddie whisking you from the counter, hand on your hip as he lead you back downstairs, you both immediately saw steve & robin jumping up & down happily when they witnessed you two looking like love sick idiots who finally fessed up.

young love, am i right?

#l0vergirlwrites💌#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things fanfic #steve stranger things #stranger things netflix #fanfic

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luveline · 6 months

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i lowkey need to see stripper!reader and spencer again

for you gorgeous ♡ fem

cw adult themes

Hotch and Spencer draw attention at the strip club for the same reason but in varied fonts. They're both reminiscent of your regulars, Hotch the picture of a businessman with a wife to forget and steam to blow, and Spencer the silent sweetheart, pretty but too shy to talk to normal girls.

He doesn't need a normal girl when he has you.

You're glad for your cover up clothes as you lean against the dressing room door. One of the bouncers peers at you from the corner of his eye.

"Trouble?" he asks.

"Not sure. Probably not." You wave until Agent Hotchner notices you. To your delight, he raises his hand politely.

You step around the bouncer and bypass the stage to the lighter area of the club where they stand in wait. "Hello. I could've met you outside."

"Would you?" Agent Hotchner asks.

You don't need him to explain. It's not the most professional thing, loitering in a club like this. You follow them out of the club and onto the street, cold even in your sweatpants as the wind rails. Spencer lets you squeeze his fingers in greeting, but that's all.

"It's nice to see you again, Agent Hotchner," you say honestly, giving him a smile.

He doesn't return the pleasantry, but Spencer swears he's softer than he looks so you choose to run with it as Agent Hotchner says, "We need information on one of your patrons."

"Tennis Lawley," Spencer adds.

"Tennis," you repeat. "I thought my pseudonym was bad."

Spencer gives you a quick look. I'd laugh if I weren't at work, it says. "We think he's involved in a string of killings in Washington DC. What do you know about him?"

It's not an exaggeration to say you've played therapist for Tennis and a ton of guys just like him. Being a stripper, an exotic dancer, whatever anyone wants to call it (though Spencer usually just calls it your work) has pros and cons. You've felt it to be heavier on the con side, but this is a big plus, being able to assist someone you care about with something important. It makes you feel useful for once, like you're more than the froth of the city. "Ask me anything," you say, hiding your cheek from the cold with a deft hand.

Spencer and Agent Hotchner ask you all sorts of questions, personal to their suspect and less so, and for the most part you're able to answer them. You can tell from the look on Hotchner's face that he's both surprised and extremely satisfied by your knowing, and he emphasises his thankfulness with a touch to your upper arm before he says goodbye. "Your help is invaluable, Y/N, thank you."

Spencer, your sweetheart, stays for a more thorough farewell.

"Have you eaten yet today?" he asks, the hand you'd squeezed earlier leaping for yours. "You look tired."

"It's getting close to midnight, Spence. I'm alright. You and Agent Hotchner should head home and rest yourselves…" You bring your hand to his cheek but think better of yourself, pushing your arm over his shoulder instead for a hug. His own arms contract around you immediately. "I miss you lately, where have you been?"

"Everywhere. I miss you too," he says. Despite the months of knowing one another, and the many states he's seen you in, you know without looking that Spencer is blushing profusely.

You kiss his cheek as your heels return to safe ground. "Come and see me again soon, okay? And bring your rich friends. The older one, Rossi, is he really a millionaire? A divorced one?"

"Yes, he is," Spencer says with a laugh, his voice climbing higher, "but I don't think he's looking for another wife right now, sorry."

"Maybe Agent Hotchner–"

"Stop calling him that."

You look Spencer straight in the eye, nearly caught off guard by how sweet and soft they meld at your touch where your hands linger in his.

You often think that you and Spencer aren't meant to be. Your life, whether willing or unwilling, by choice or design, is entirely focused around your body, and Spencer's world revolves around his mind. You know that what you do for work isn't anything to be ashamed of, but you have the same doubts as anyone else. You know what people think of you. You wouldn't blame Spencer for thinking the same things. And you wouldn't expect him to want to be with you in any aspect that wasn't physical.

But when he holds your hands in his like this, as though they're made of something delicate, something he wants to map every detail or by fingertip alone, you wish things were different.

You clear your throat. "I really do miss you when you're away," you confess.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Your hands miss his the millisecond you pull them away. "I guess I shouldn't keep you. Your boss will be wondering where you are."

"Are you okay?"

You can't even pretend it's a strange question; you're acting strange. "I'm fine, Dr. Reid. My nice new boss knows I know the feds, and all the girls are jealous of me when you guys come to visit. They think I'm on your payroll."

Spencer quirks a puzzled frown, brows pulled together tightly. "You're harder to read than most people. Have I ever told you that?"

"I guess it's 'cos I spend so much time pretending I'm a different person," you say, smiling to prompt him into smiling back.

"Maybe." He pulls his bag from where it rests against his hip and opens it, rummaging through the contents with a confused murmur until he pulls out the shape he'd been looking for. "Here. Don't go to bed hungry, okay?"

Spencer puts a protein bar in your hand.

He steals a quick hug and leaves not long after that, crossing the dark parking lot to the mass of the dark SUV he arrives in. With one hand, you clutch the protein bar until it takes a new shape, and with the other you blow two sweet kisses, a cheesy, gaudy gesture that never fails to make your favourite special Agent blush.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

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louloulemons-posts · 6 months

Text

Curly Kisses

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary : The different types of kisses you share with eddie.

Word Count : 2.1k

Warnings : not proofread, kisses, talks of sex, hickies/love bites, eddie gets drunk, kisses whilst intoxicated, pure fluff, idiots in love 🤍

A/N : sorry for the lack of updates i started uni recently and i’m trying to find my footing 🫶🏻

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Pre-Date Kisses :

Before you and Eddie got together you were very friendly with one another, always close, laughing, smiling, lingering hugs, hands brushing.

Along with that there were the cheek kisses, the ones that made Eddies cheeks burn and yours ache with smiles. They were sweet and kind and full of admiration.

“Morning,” Eddie smiled as you climbed into the van, “Hello.” You handed him your drink of steaming green tea. “Thank you,” he said, taking a sip, before handing the cup back.

The drive in the morning was how it always was, quiet, but a comfortable silence. The pair of you not awake enough to hold conversation. The air was cool so your body was a lot closer to Eddies trying to steal his heat.

“You okay there?” he asked.

“Chilly.”

“Hold the wheel,” the boy said.

“What?”

“Hold the wheel.”

He took his hands off and began to shrug his jacket off, sending a wave of panic through your body. Leaning across the boy and holding onto the wheel, you tried to keep the van steady and straight.

He dropped his jacket on your lap, sliding your hands off the wheel and placing his own there. “I hate you, you know,” you spoke, sliding your arms through the sleeves.

“Mhm, tell my jacket that.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him, whilst you sunk further into the smokey smelling material.

Pulling into the parking lot, Eddie ran round the van, opening the door for you.

“M’lady,” he said, offering you his hand, sliding your palm into his you played along, “Thank you kind sir.”

Gareth walked over to you, waving hello, “Morning guys.”

“Hey G, look I gotta run okay. I’ll see you later,” you smiled at the pair, taking off Eddies jacket.

He stopped you, “Keep it for now, don’t want you freezing.”

“Thank you Eds,” you smiled, standing on your tiptoes to press your lips to his cheek.

“I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye,” Gareth waved.

“B-bye,” Eddie stuttered.

The younger boy laughed, “So when are you asking her out?”

“Shut up!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Drunk Kisses :

This was also before you were dating, Eddie was hanging out with some friends and they had got … well drunk was putting it lightly.

Steve had called you to come and pick the boy up, you didn’t mind of course, you wanted him home safe and you knew that would happen if you were there.

Upon arrival Eddie almost launched himself at you, “Missed you,” he said, hugging you close. “Missed you too,” you laughed, “Let’s get you home yeah?”

Eddie was rambling on and on about the fun he had ( “would’ve been better if you were there”). The drive to his trailer wasn’t a long one, but Eddie was drunk and had the coordination of a baby giraffe.

His arm was over your shoulder as you basically dragged him through the door. “Where’s Wayne?” he asked, huffing, so his lips pouted. “He’s a work.”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed.

“Silly boy, come on let’s get ready for bed.”

“You’ll stay?”

“If you want, it’s not the first time we’ve had a sleepover.” The grin on his face was beautiful, he soon picked up speed as you were in his room.

“I’m going to get changed, please don’t injure yourself,” you said, half a joke, half pure concern. “Don’t worry babe, I’m all good,” he winked. Rolling your eyes you headed off to get changed.

Returning to Eddies bedroom you found him sat on the edge of his bed, staring as his feet very intensely. “You good?” You questioned, making the boy jump.

“Mhm, I’m fin- wow,” he paused.

“What?”

“You look good in my clothes,” he motioned to your make shift pyjamas, an old and worn band tee of Eddies and some shorts.

“Wear them all the time Eds.”

“I know you just look … pretty.”

“You think?”

“Mhm,” he nodded, pushing up from the bed and making his way to you.

“What are you doing?”

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time,” he suddenly sounded more sober.

Placing his large palms on either side of your face, his pressed his mouth to yours, a soft kiss. Brushing of lips. Beautiful warmth. You could feel his smile growing against you.

“Eds,” you whispered, pushing him back, but not letting go fully, “You’re drunk.”

“So?”

“Eddie it’s not good to kiss when you’re drunk. How would you feel if I was drunk?”

His face dropped at that, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said, brushing a curl out of his face, “Let’s go to bed, we can talk about this in the morning. Sound good?”

“You’re not going to leave are you?”

“I’d never leave you.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

The (Second) First Kiss :

Hearing a groan behind you, you couldn’t hide your laugh. “Morning Sunshine, coffees on the table. Making you some eggs and bacon.”

“You’re an Angel, mind telling me what happened last night.”

“One word : tequila.”

“I’m gonna murder Harrington.”

“Well he told me it was all your idea Pretty Boy, plus I don’t think you’ll be doing anything with that hangover.”

He sat on the couch, cradling a mug of coffee like it was his love and joy. “Did you come and get me?”

“Told you I would.”

“Thank you.”

You slid the food onto the plate, handing it to Eddie, “Eat, I’m going to get dressed and then buy you some gatorade.”

“Then we’ll talk about the kiss?”

His words were muffled with bacon, “What did you say?”

“The kiss. I kissed you. Or did you lie when you said we’d talk about it? If you don’t like me like that I get it.”

You sighed, “Eds it’s not that. You’re my best friend, I’m so scared well ruin it.”

“We won’t, come on it’s us. Plus we’ll never know if we don’t try.”

“Eds-“

“I like you. Do you like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Then there’s our answer.” He put down the plate, standing up go meet your lips.

His hands pulled you closer by the waist, you hands resting at the base of his neck, playing with the curls that lived there.

“We’ll be okay,” he whispered against your mouth. “We’ll be okay,” you repeated, huffing a laugh. “What’s funny?”

“You taste of tequila and bacon.”

The boy groaned, resting his head in your neck, making you smile. “I’ll go get some gatorade, you rest.”

“Thanks Sweetheart,” he said, kissing your head.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Sick Kisses :

“How are you feeling?” You asked, sitting down next to Eddie. He’d called you the night before saying he had come down with something and Wayne was forcing him to stay home.

“Rough,”he said voice hoarse.

“When was the last time you had medicine?”

“Like an hour ago, I can’t have anymore yet.”

You brushed his curls out his face, “I’m sorry you feel sick baby.”

“I feel better now you’re here.” You laughed, “God Munson, even when you’re sick, you’re a sweet talker.”

“Don’t you know it,” he laughed, making himself cough. “Careful,” you spoke, grabbing a glass of water from beside his bed. “Here, take some sips.”

He did, slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re a great nurse.”

“I wish I could make you better,” you said.

“You have. Just by being here.”

“I missed you at school today.”

“I bet, I’m the best.”

Smiling you shook your head, “So cocky,” leaning down to kiss his lips he turned his head. “Hey!” you said.

“We can’t kiss, you’ll get sick.”

“But-“

“Baby no!” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes, groaning, “Fine. I’ll just have to kiss you here,” you pecked his cheek, “And here,”one to his nose, “And here,” a final one to his forehead.

“I’m cured!” he said, grinning, his face flushed. “I knew it’d work. Kisses are the best medicine.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

After-Sex Kisses :

Your breathing slowed, Eddies arm thrown over your waist. His bare chest, against the skin of your back. Your body was sweaty and warm, and felt floaty and beautiful.

“You okay?” he whispered into your hair. You hummed, running your fingers against his arm. “I’m so okay.” You were in a daze like state, you tended to be like this whenever you and Eddie would sleep together.

“Your head a bit fuzzy?”

“Mhm, but it’s good fuzzy,” you reassured him. “Okay baby.” You felt his lips on your shoulder, soft butterfly kisses. This had become a routine.

He clean you up and leave gentle presses at every part of skin he could touch. Even though what you had done before seem a lot more intimate , the kisses made your cheeks burn.

He pressed his mouth on your stomach, thighs, neck, collar bones, arm and all over your face. Your body was tired, your eyes drooping, “Go to sleep baby, I’ve got you.”

You knew he did. You trusted him, letting your mind drift away for the night, feeling the gentle brushes of Eddies lips as you did so.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Embarrassed Kisses :

You laughed, Eddies arms around your middle, as you cooked scrambled eggs for the pair of you. “You, Eddie Munson, are a little goblin.”

“So I’ve been told,” he smiled, kissing the side of your head.

“Go wash up, food will be ready soon.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Weird.”

“Oh right, I’m Sir.”

“In your dreams.”

“You know it babe,” he winked, walking to the bathroom.

You stood in front of the stove, Eddies shirt and your shorts on, your skin was on show - the bruised skin. Because apparently Eddie become a vampire when you have sex.

You didn’t mind it, it just meant a lot of makeup or turtlenecks. Humming to yourself as you plated up the eggs and toast, you didn’t hear the door open.

“Morning,” a gruff voice spoke, making you jump slightly. You turned to see Wayne, taking off his shoes, “Uh hi Wayne,” you said, waving a wooden spoon in hand.

“How’s things?” he asked.

“Good.”

“Good,” he looked up from his laces, eyes widening slightly, unable to miss the large love bites littered over your neck and thighs.

“I uh … I made eggs, I was just about to get ready to go,” you said quickly, putting the spoon down. You almost ran to Eddies room grabbing your clothes and changing.

You grabbed your bag, walking down the hall to leave, but bumped into Eddie. “Well hello,” he smiled, before noticing your expression and addition of clothes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, cupping your cheek, brown eyes full of concern. “Waynes home.”

“Yeah?”

“He saw all the … the bites. I’m just a bit embarrassed, so I think I’m gonna go. You eggs are on the counter.”

“Do you want me to drive you?”

“No it’s okay, I’ll call you later.”

“Okay. But uh just so you know, Wayne doesn’t care, he loves us both, he just wants us to be safe. I know you’re embarrassed, but it’s just a thought.”

“Thanks Eds.”

“Anytime Angel.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, gentle and light, almost like a fairy. He did the same to your mouth.

{After you left}

“So uh you a vampire now?”

“Can we not.”

“You using protection?”

“Of course.”

“Just making sure.”

“I’m not dumb.”

“Whatever you say Dracula.”

“Wayne!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

I love you Kisses :

Lay side by side, you breathed out looking up to the beautiful night sky. Stars littered across, a crescent moon twinkling brightly, it was so lovely to look at.

“This was a good idea,” Eddie spoke from beside you. “I knew you’d like it.”

“Well I’m with you, I’d like anything.”

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriends antics, forever the flirt. You drove out to lovers lake after a long week of work. It was nice to unwind with the person you loved most.

“You remind me of the stars,” Eddie spoke.

“Huh?”

“You remind me of the stars,” he repeated.

“How so?”

“You can’t help but find them beautiful and be in awe of them, even from a billion galaxies away. I feel that way for you, I’d love you billions of galaxies away.”

“Love me?” you asked, heart thumping in your chest. “Yeah, I do, love you that is.” His face was pink, you leaned up on your elbow, smiling down at him. “I love you.”

“You do?” he questioned, almost out of breath. “I do, I love you so much.”

“I love you,” he breathed a laugh, smile breaking over his face.

His hands came to your cheeks pulling you down to meet him, lips met messily, but so lovingly. His tongue danced with yours, pulling you as close as physically possible, pouring every ounce of love and adoration into this one action.

“I love you,” he whispered against your mouth. “I love you Eddie Munson.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading!

Please leave any requests 🫶🏻

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apollosdaydreams · 6 months

Text

Let Me In

Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: You are dating Lando Norris, you love him don’t get me wrong but sometimes he can be a bit forgetful. Lando loves to game when he's not busy with racing, often streaming while he plays. When he streams it's like the outside world doesn't exist. You were coming over and you had forgotten your keys to his place, and Lando had his phone on silent.

Warnings: None fluff, adult language. I have no clue how twitch works so sorry if i get that wrong.

Word Count: 590

You were currently standing outside Lando’s apartment, you had forgotten your keys and were waiting for him to answer his phone. As time went by you realized that he wasn't going to answer his phone. So you went on twitter and saw that lando was streaming on twitch. You sighed out loud and rolled your eyes. Mumbling on how forgetful he can be when you put a screen in front of his face.

“Fucking I-Pad kid” You mummbled to you self, while slightly laughing at your situation, of course this would happen to you. It wasn't even Lando’s fault, you had forgotten the keys.

While standing outside his door thinking what to do, you decided that you should see if he would see your comment. So you downloaded twitch and made an account. You then looked up his account and followed him, you clicked on the live and waited. Nothing happened. So you decided that the next best thing was to subscribe, so you put in your credit card info and then it went through. You then saw that you could add a message. On the screen it read “y/n y/l/n has subscribed! Please let me in Lando. :)”

“Oh shit!” Lando said while laughing. “My girlfriend! She's on twitch telling me to open the door!” I'll be back guys. You laughed to yourself and stood there waiting. You then saw the door opening. You pretend to look mad, but that only lasted about a second before you both bursted out laughing.

“I'm sorry baby.” He said while hugging you and pulling you into the apartment.

“It's fine lands, it's my fault anyway I'm the one who forgot the keys.” You told him.

“But I should have been looking at my phone.” He said, while walking back to his streaming room.

“Lando, look at me. It's fine. It's my fault, honestly it's actually hilarious.” You told him while laughing. “You better get back to you steam babe, don't want to keep them waiting for too long.” You said.

“I'll be done soon love.” He said, before he left he kissed you and then went back into his streaming room.

You decided to have fun watching him on your phone, as you had to pay, better put it to good use. You sat in the living room on the couch, waiting for Lando to be done streaming.

“Sorry guys, I'm back.” Lando said. “My girlfriend was locked out of my apartment, so I had to go save her.” He said. “She had to subscribe to me!” He laughed. “I gained a subscription so I'm happy!”

You laughed out loud at this, you didn't realize how loud you laughed until you heard Lando addressing you on the stream. “Sorry guys, that was my girlfriend.” He said with the biggest smile on his face. After a few minutes of his staying on Twitch, he told the viewers that it was time for him to go hang out with you, his girlfriend. You turned off your phone and saw him walking into the living room.

“Hi baby.” He said while flopping down on the couch, his head laying in your lap. You moved your hand to his head, running your hand through his curls.

“Hey lands.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Lando, if you say sorry one more time I'm going to leave.” you jokingly said. “Don't feel sorry, it’s my fault I'm the idiot who forgot my keys.”

“I love you so much,” Lando said.

“You are sleeping on the couch tonight.” You said.

I hope you guys enjoyed this, it would be greatly appreciated if you would like, comment and repost this!! Sorry about the end it was kinda rushed. Sorry for not posting much, I'm busy with college but Thanksgiving break is happening soon, so I hope to write a lot during that time. If you guys have any ideas for me, my requests are still open!!

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peachsayshi · 4 months

Text

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ being wrapped in your arms feels like coming home ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

wc: 1,820

minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.

notes: here is a little drabble in honor of toji's birthday! this piece was originally titled as "adoration" but I changed it to this instead. I'm taking a small posting break, but I'll be back to my regular schedule within a week! I'm sorry if I haven't been responding to tags or messages, but I will do so soon <3 I hope you're all having a wonderful time and I'm sending all my well wishes out to you! xo

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: widow toji; age gap (reader is 30 while toji is in his early 40s); a little angsty; toji attempting to break up with you but failing because he's oh so in love

toji overstayed his welcome which was only supposed to last the scorching heat of summer, but he found himself lingering through the quiet stillness of fall. winter came in with a brisk chill and gloomy skies, and that's when toji knew it was time for him to end things with you.

he’s lost interest far quicker in previous relationships. they served their purpose of healing over the wound in his heart, of soothing away the ache of loneliness. he oftens forgets that he was once a loyal, loving husband whenever he abandons yet another fling.

the difference, however, is he at least had the guts to verbally cut things off before.

fucking pathetic, he thinks as he scolds himself. he's been a coward, reducing his actions to disappearing before the sunlight peeks through the horizon, and avoiding any chance of waking you up. he ensures that he is never there to see the way your brows furrow with concern when your hand meets the cold pillow, because otherwise he would falter in his attempt to escape.

this has been going on for over two weeks now but last night was the first time you've actually snapped at his cold, detached behavior. he approached the argument with nonchalance to wither you down, shrugging off the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach and then walking out halfway through the fight.

he stayed at a motel thinking that maybe you have finally taken the hint that he's done.

he arrives back to his apartment only to be met with unfamiliar silence. the entrance of his home is dark and lifeless, and it's so quiet he can even hear a pin drop. there's a tightness in his chest, followed by a wave of disappointment that runs over him like a feverish shiver.

despite his hard headed decision, he's still anticipating on hearing your lovely voice to greet him as he walks through the door.

he knows it's selfish.

toji expected many things to happen after last night's fight. he figured the reaction to him leaving you (again) would be far bigger. a screaming phone call or a string of cursing text messages to call him out on his shitty behavior.

after all he deserves it for acting like an insufferable asshole.

he tries to swallow his guilt but it remains lodged in his throat when he acknowledges that this might actually be the end.

the expression on his features falls.

it’s better this way, he consoles, dragging his feet across the floor to approach his kitchenette. he shrugs off his beaten up, oversized coat and tosses it over one of the chairs. he opens one of the cupboards, and grabs a mug to prepare himself a cup of tea.

she’s too young to settle for a guy like me, he continues. widowed with two kids who he barely sees anymore, working paycheck to paycheck just to make ends meet…

a deadbeat.

he exhales, swirling his brew in his ceramic cup. the aroma of sweet leaves dances up the spiral of steam to kiss his nose.

she deserves more than me.

he places the kettle down but stares at the cup mindlessly, losing all train of thought as his hands grip onto the edge of the counter.

he can acknowledge that his insecurities are clouding his judgement on something truly special, even though this was only ever meant to be purely physical.

except, the sex was growing more intimate. the experience wasn't about pleasure for him anymore. he would find himself losing all focus to the depth of your pretty eyes, stealing kiss after kiss like your mouth was the source of where all his happiness belongs.

belonged.

it’s over now, he thinks again. it has to be.

a faint patter of footsteps distracts him, prompting him to ease his hold on the counter as the muscles on his face relax. his heart steadies itself, and he draws in a breath when he feels two arms delicately twine around his waist.

“you’re...still here...” he points out in shock.

he feels you press your forehead into his back. “of course, where else would I be?”

he clears his throat to release the guilt then spins on his heel to face you.

"I thought you might have taken off," he bluntly states as he rests his lower back against the counter.

his heart swells, emanates flurries of golden sparks when he meets your gorgeous irises. the will to carry on with his decision crumbles when he catches the corner of your mouth tick into a slight grin.

"I thought about it," you reply casually, loosening your grip to place your palms flat on the side of his stomach. "but the truth is I'm worried about you and I just…want to talk things out…make sure you're okay...”

“I’m the one acting like a jerk and you’re worried about me?” he blurts.

you quirk your brow at the slip of his question. “so, you know you’re acting like a jerk?”

toji’s eyes widen slightly, a hint of pink tainting his cheek. “I asked the question first.”

you purse your lips playfully, aware of the crack that's been revealed and ready to swing once again with another blow.

“it’s because you’re acting like a jerk that I’m worried about you,” you explain, “you’re not yourself when you’re unsettled about something…”

his face warms, the hue of pink deepening into a stronger blush. the familiarity of pointing out his personal traits feels all too homely. seven months shouldn’t feel like a forever but in this bubble with you time ceases to exist.

you trail the pads of your finger tips up his torso, your hands clasping around the back of his neck as you press all your soft and sweet parts right up against the frame of his body.

the brush of your lips on his scar prompts him to flutter his eyes close. he fails to stop himself from holding you then, his firm hands reaching for the outline of your waist

“so,” you murmur with a tempting kiss as you return to your question, “you know you’re acting like a jerk then?”

please don’t make me say it, he thinks, please don’t make me unravel right in front of your eyes.

he squeezes your side, whispering a defeated “listen…”

“did I do something wrong?” you question, a hint of pain laced through every vowel which only makes his heart ache further. “did something happen?”

toji shakes his head.

“it’s not you,” he grumbles. “look, you asked me a couple of weeks ago if this thing between us was serious and…it shouldn’t be.”

you narrow your gaze, tilting your head with adorable confusion that makes toji want to kiss you right there on the spot.

he can feel you pluck at the fabric of his sweater nervously, “why not?”

toji drops his head and sighs.

“c’mon, doll, let’s be real. I’ve got nothing to give you other than a good fuck in this shitty apartment. you're better off finding someone else and I don't want to waste your time”

you press your mouth into a firm line. “your behavior…” you reply, nipping your bottom lip slightly as you gather your thoughts. “are you acting like this because you…want to end things with me?”

toji has never felt smaller. you’ve reduced him into a shriveled pea rolling around his scuffed up boot. “look, it’s better this way, alright?” he admits with a raise of his head, still refusing to outwardly say what you easily deduced. “it's better to move on before things get too complicated…”

the silence hangs heavy in the air, the tension so thick toji feels like he can’t breathe properly. his heart rattles with no restraint, and he finds himself suddenly lightheaded. an apology rests on the tip of his tongue, ready to take back everything he just bombarded you with but his throat simply tightens once more when your hands cradle his strong jaw.

“I like your apartment,” you quietly speak, “your bed sheets always smell so good, and you fixed the water pressure after I complained that it sucked…”

toji blinks back his surprise.

“I also notice that you burn the candle that I got you and that you switched laundry detergents when your old one gave me that weird rash,” you giggle and toji couldn’t help but huff out an embarrassed laugh himself. “the windows let in the best kind of sunlight, and it’s always so cozy in here…”

you press your lips against his mouth to leave a chaste kiss, “as for the company…” you add on, nuzzling the tip of your nose over his, “I consider you more than just a good fuck.”

toji can physically feel himself wilting underneath the heat of your gaze. “I’m just looking out for you, doll.”

"you can look out for me by making me breakfast instead of running away from me..."

he looks serious but his eyes are sincere, holding a level of tenderness that he only reserves for you. his palm moves to seek out your lower back, a hint of pressure pulling you back into his warmth.

your lover has stayed tight lipped about his past, but over his period with you he's found himself spilling out a few secrets here and there.

"I haven't done this in a long time," he vulnerably admits.

"I know," you reassure him, "but...the real question is, do you want this?"

he parts his lips ready to seal the last nail in the coffin, ready to give you the chance to walk out of his life for good. but you're gazing up at him from underneath your eyelashes, your determined stare an opening of your own mercy. your plush, supple lips summoning his cowardice into oblivion.

"toji?"

his breath hitches, his apprehension silenced by the urgency of his desire.

you're so lovely, he thinks. you feel like home.

"I want you," he reveals, his deep voice smoky and untethered, releasing enough sentiment in those three words that he can feel you tremble in his arms. "I just don't deserve you. I don't want you getting caught up in my bullshit..."

""you're a lot sweeter than you look, you know?" you run your fingers through the streaks of his black hair, combing it back to reveal his forehead. "you deserve to be happy, toji, and...and I think I can make you happy..."

your aura beams with delight when he flashes you a wolfish grin in return. a smile you've grown to adore so deeply. his apology comes in the form of a kiss, one that's gentle and slow. a stroke of fire burns up the back of your neck, making you quiver in places when he glides his tongue across yours. you hum softly into his lips while he releases a content sigh, the barrier he's been keeping up turns to ashes beneath your feet.

#toji x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro x y/n #toji fluff #toji angst #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #peach is {offline} ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

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krashoutluv · 3 months

Note

I support the virgin Jason agenda so how do you think Jay would react to receiving head for the first time 👀

OUUUUHHHHHHHFUFHFIFHDJ HES ACTUALLY GRIPPING ANYTHING HE CAN

tags: @millyhelp

AK!Jason Todd Gettin’ Head For The First Time

(NSFW EXPLICIT / DETAILED)

‘tis unda da cut!

LOVE-HATE relationship with getting head.

like it feels so good and the way he feels drives him insane

but also getting that close to him without being the dominant one makes him uncomfortable

its a little rare you give him head, its when he wants to be taken care of or hes super tired but horny

it definitely takes awhile for him to be okay with it still

but for the first time hes still horrendously whipped

the entire time hes going crazy

like as soon as your head gets close to his cock his mind is going blank

JASON sits in a chair in front of you, he just got home from his mission. The weariness in his eyes was very obvious when he barely got through your window, almost crashing that night on your floor; He had been tracking a gang that was dealing poison. Problem was, they put a lot of time into being hard to trace, he spent a good month tracking their warehouse. He spent way too much time running around Gotham for interrogations and not enough around you. Solution was, when he did find them this night, they focused a lot more on their secrecy and not enough on their own protection so it was a quick fight for him. Still, the mental drain had his feet dragging, and way too much steam in his pants; Nights like this he would’ve just jacked off in the shower and went to sleep. Would’ve. But, Jason comes home and you’re still up. You just finished some last-minute assignments from your professors, if he wasn’t so busy he would’ve gotten them done for you the day they were assigned. But here he is, slipping behind you, pecking kisses to your neck, you feel his hot breath on your neck, Oh, this poor guy… One pretty little question leaving his lips —and.

Oh. <3

Now, he’s sat up on your couch, pants just pulled down, you look up and ask him one more time.

“Are you sure?” His eyes already drawn on you.

“Please.”

He just barely chokes out, voice hoarsely struck an octave lower then his usual tone and slightly cracking towards the end; the sound pitch change flowing like honey from his lips.

Oh, this poor guy. You nod, keeping your eyes on his before moving down, pecking at his happy trail, drifting down to his inner thighs, softly sucking at his skin. His eyelashes fluttering as you trailed closer to the base of his cock. He was far from small. Definitely above average, 8 inches even , and thick, really fucking thick. (Shower not grower, feeding myself sorry).You move your hand to his dick, softly pumping his twitching cock up and down, pressing tender kisses on his tip before looking up into his eyes and lapping at the vein that travels from the base of his cock and up. Your eyes fell on him, staring down on you, both of his hands propped up on the pillows around him, taking deep breaths through his nose. Barely keeping it together. Barely. You then take as much of him into your mouth as you can, moving your other hand to his balls (HAHAHA BALLS sorry), and start sucking him, jerking off the parts you didn’t take. He dropped his head back and started open mouth panting, maybe if he wasn’t tired he would’ve been able to keep himself quiet. Maybe. But, Oh, this poor guy needed this sooo bad. He’s gripping those pillows like they’re the only thing keeping him down as you take your tongue to the slit of his tip.

“ughh—“ his hand shoots to his mouth, (insert that 1 arkham voice line from game IKYKIK) ,”—Mmmh” ‘s start slipping from his mouth instead. His mind is so foggy, all he can focus on is the wet warmth around his dick and the lewd sloppy noises you’re making. Jason’s strangled grunts made you whine out your own, the vibrations around him made his head shoot down to watch you. He’s losing his grip at the sight, he moved his hand from the pillow to your where your jaw and ear meet. Brushing his hand against your skin, “Keep going,,” he let out a soft exhale, drawing circles on your skin,”Just like that…” His voice was starting to crack . Watching your pretty face he couldn’t help bucking his hips into your mouth before pausing. Jason lifts your head with his hand that was on your jaw, Breathlessly he asks, “Is that alright… Sweetheart?” He’s trying to hold it together, really fucking trying to hold it together; but his voice is so cracky and whiney right now, and he needs to make sure you’re not being hurt. But, you nod to him sweetly, with those swollen lips and those teary eyes, ”Atta’ Doll.” Barely managing to deepen his voice before starting to pump his hips, making sure to keep his pace bearable for you. Jason husked out praises every chance he got. Every jolt of his hips had him seeing stars, he just couldn’t last long.

Jason felt the base of his cock and balls (HAHAH BALLS) tighten, he furrowed his brows and let out a string of strained curses. His hips got sloppy, breath hitched before he dropped his head back and his hips stopped entirely. His pelvis perked up and body tenses as he let out sputtered moans for every pulse of thick hot cum and pleasure that roll from his cock . His eyelashes fluttering and his eyes rolled to the back of his head throughout his orgasm. Jasons body slowly slacks, after a few seconds he reached up and brushed his hair out of his face.

He panted out treble, “Mh,” ‘s and, “Ah” ‘s while he settled from his high. He reached to his mouth to sloppily wipe the bit of drool that he prayed you didn’t see. Rolling his head forward to look at you, he took his cock out of your mouth then pressed a hot kiss to your lips. Jason brought his hand to the back of your neck and continued to peck at your face. He stopped and whispered airlessly,”Thank you.” You were close enough to feel his breath panting on your face and see his hair sticking to his skin from sweat. The pleasure and exhaustion in his pretty blue eyes making him look so needy. Oh, this poor guy! You need to get him asleep ASAP!!

literally he fell asleep open mouth drooling. snoring a little too!! literally my pillow princess !!

so many kisses while you two were falling asleep, legitimately had a hard time prying himself off you

so vulnerable this night inlove so bad

him fighting to come of dominant so bad but it feels so good and he wants to be taken cared of sooo bad

he was fighting to keep his voice at a normal tone BUT HIS DRAMA QUEEN ASS!! COULD NOT KEEP QUIET!! EXPECT NOISE COMPLAINTS!! ITS 4AM GTS !!

im so down bad for the way his va had him talking HHHHH

inbox is open if you wanna rq anything or just wanna yap!

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #arkham knight x reader #arkham knight #red hood #red hood x reader #jason peter todd #arkham knight smut #jason todd smut #red hood smut #skullkidwithsunglasses

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daydreaming-nerd · 14 days

Text

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 9

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 10

AN: Okay remember when I said there would be a lot more angst? Well here we are. We have arrived at angst station, everybody off the train. This part is so dramatic I really laid it on thick here. Regardless I hope you enjoy and I will try to get part 10 up ASAP!!!

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Sexism, super heavy angst, this got really dark, violence, blood, implied rape (but not described), did I mention violence?, (I'm sorry you guys.)

Word Count: 6,333

The next morning I wake up in my own bed and I don’t move for hours.

Thankfully, after about an hour of crying by the Sidra, Azriel found me and took me back to the House of Wind. Apparently Cassian had sent him, which gave me a little bit of hope. That is until I went to his door and found his room empty. According to Azriel he left for Windhaven after returning home to pack a bag. I didn’t need to interrogate further to know that Cassian wouldn’t be back before the wedding.

I spent the entire day before the wedding in bed, staring at the sliver of light on the floor that the curtains let into the darkened room. Everytime I close my eyes I could hear Cassian and I’s laughter, which made me unable to fall asleep. When I wasn’t reminiscing over memories of Cassian I was listening intently to the sounds of the house, hoping I would hear his heavy boots thudding back to his room. I just wanted to see him one last time.

However, those footsteps never came, and I found myself staring at the wall until my body gave up on me, from either exhaustion or hunger and I fell asleep.

Cassian’s pov:

The second I landed in Windhaven I cracked open a bottle of whiskey and downed a glass praying it would allow me to sleep. Of course I was wrong.

The entire night I saw images of y/n holding that little girl in her arms. God I had practically melted right then and there, thinking about what she would look like holding our own children. How adorable they would be with their tiny wings.

My sleepless night had carried over with me the next day, everything and everyone putting me on edge. A young Illyrian had dropped their sword while sparring and I blew up at him. Devlon tried to argue that the females shouldn’t be training and I nearly slammed his head into a wall.

I was aggressively sharpening my swords on the edge of the sparring ring when Azriel found me, my brother simply nodded his head towards the center as if to say “blow off some steam big fella.” I couldn’t turn him down, as he was the only one who could give me a run for my money, and today he sure did.

“You fight like shit and you look like shit too brother,” Azriel barked after beating me again. He tossed his sword to the ground seemingly calling it quits for the day.

“Yeah well my mate is about to marry another male in the next 12 hours so how did you expect to find me?” I gripe at him taking my seat on a weathered rock.

“I suppose I wouldn’t know what to do in your situation either,” he admitted, taking a seat next to me.

“Seems about right for me. Grew up a bastard and lived in the mud till you and Rhys’ sorry asses came along. Lost my mother and never even got to bury her, fought for 500 years, and then became mated to the princess, who is marrying another male.” I scoff, shaking my head at the ridiculousness. “I’ll give the mother one thing, at least she’s consistent.”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, as if taking in what I had said before clapping a hand on my back, “The pain, it will go away Cass. It will take time, but I will be there with you every step of the way.” he assured me, and for a moment I felt a little lighter.

“Get wasted with me tomorrow?” I ask more seriously than I should.

“You know I will,” he said, offering me a slight smile.

I hoped that Rhys had gotten some more whiskey since the last time I raided his cabinet, because I don’t think any amount of drink could make me forget the way she looked at me the first morning we woke up together. The way she would laugh when I kissed her cheeks, the feeling of her delicate hands running soap over my wings. How she would say “you need a bath!” when I would give her a sweaty hug after training. The face she made when I distracted her from one of her romance novels by tickling her feet that rested in my lap.

By the cauldron, I was a dead man.

y/n's pov:

Stepping into the Autumn Court felt like I was walking to my own execution. Instead of Eris being at the end of that aisle there would be a guillotine. I almost wished for that instead. Any comment made by Rhys about how I seemed tired I chalked up to pre-wedding nerves and thankfully he didn’t push after that.

The entire morning had been spent poking and prodding at my skin, my hair and my eyes. If I thought that Nuala and Cerridwen were meticulous I was sorely mistaken. The ladies of the Autumn Court didn’t mess around and if this was my life going forward (which sadly it was), cauldron boil me.

The ladies in wait primped me up until a half an hour before I walked down the aisle. I had to literally commande them out of my suite in order to have a moment alone. I sat staring at myself in the floor length mirror. For what it was worth, I looked beautiful. I half expected the dress that was chosen for me to be awful and gaudy, however it was elegant. The lace along the neckline mimicking the flames associated with Eris’ power. Had I been walking down the aisle to a different groom, I might venture to say that I was excited to be married. However as I stared at myself in my white wedding dress I couldn’t help but feel a tear slide down my face.

A tentative knock reverberated through the room, nearly making me jump out of my skin. I took a deep breath and wiped away a stray tear.

“Come in,” I said with shaky words looking at the double oak doors through the mirror before me.

The door opened slowly, whoever it was looking around the room before entering. A large figure finally popped it’s head in, eyes finding me immediately. I would know that jet black hair anywhere.

Cassian.

I whirled around to meet his gaze as he shut the door, taking slow and tentative steps towards me. His eyes searched my face for any hint of anger or resentment.

“Cass,” I breathed, as if to assure myself he was really there.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled looking me up and down, but I could see the veiled sadness on his face. He was putting on a front, and a bad one at that.

“Thank you,” I say, taking a tentative step towards him. “How did you get in here?”

“They don’t have you that well guarded,” he chuckled, stepping closer till he stood before me. Neither of us reached for one another, unsure of where we both stood. It felt wrong not to instantly wrap my arms around him. “I don’t like where we left things,” he continued.

“Neither do I,”

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I yelled at you that night. I’m sorry about the things I said,” he starts again. His hands reach for mine but pull back as if afraid to touch me. “I wanted to say that I understand now. And that I think you are incredibly brave to be doing this for Velaris. I’ll never be happy that you’re marrying Eris, and I’ll always wish it was me. But I understand now, and I respect the love you have for your people, and the lengths you’re willing to go to to keep them safe. Will you forgive me?”

I feel the stray tear pricking my eye once more, “There was never anything to forgive Cass. I was more upset with myself for giving you false hope. For going along and loving you and acting like things were going to be alright when I couldn’t guarantee it.” I sigh, casting my head down, unable to face him.

I feel his gentle calloused hand tip my chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes, that beautiful hazel, glassed over. Despite it all, despite what I put him through, there is still so much love in them, and I know I’ll never really deserve it.

“Loving you was the greatest gift I’ve ever known, and ever will know,” he smiles as if he’s remembering the short time we did have together. “I’ll be here waiting if you should ever change your mind or in case something ever happens.”

“Cass,” I start to protest but he stops me.

“I’ve loved you for so many years y/n. There can be no one else but you. If I don’t get to have you until we are both old and gray so be it. I’ve waited this long,” he assures me cupping my cheek.

I don’t even have words to reply to his confession. Boundaries be damned. I threw myself around him pulling him as close as possible. His arms tighten around me like he had been waiting for me to make a move. In the embrace there’s an understanding, an unsaid agreement.

I back away to see those hazel eyes once more, my own eyes raking over his body. I notice he’s not dressed in a fine suit jacket, or even his fighting leathers. Instead, he’s donning a loose fitted shirt, something completely unfit for a royal wedding.

“You’re not staying are you?” I ask, pressing a hand to his stubbled cheek that tells me he didn’t shave this morning.

“No, I just had to see you one last time,” he answers, taking my hand from his cheek so he could hold both of them.

The weight of his words shoot right through me, and as I look at him, I let them sink in. I watched as a tear slid down his own cheek, it was the only time I had ever seen the general cry.

“One last time,” I repeated, letting the words consume me.

His eyes glanced down at my lips, a silent plea to taste them again,

“Can I?” he whispered.

“Gods yes,” I sigh.

A hand drifted up cupping my cheek and pulling me into a kiss. The last kiss we might ever share. I poured every ounce of love into it trying to give him something to remember me by, trying to savor every moment of it for when my days ahead were darkest. My chest heaved as if being pulled forward and then…

Snap.

It was as if a piece of me was returned, one I never knew I lost. I pulled back to meet his gaze and by the way he looked at me I could tell he knew, had known. I felt like I was truly seeing him for the first time as that shimmering golden bond glowed between us.

“You’re my-” I started but I jumped at the bang sounding throughout the room.

My eyes met the fiery auburn of Eris’ as he entered the room, at least twenty autumn court soldiers behind him. I didn’t have time to step away as he winnowed to me pulling me away from Cassian.

“You!” he seethed at my general who was already assessing the situation. “I had my suspicions but never the proof and you fell into my trap so easily.” he boasted.

My thoughts scrambled to what Cassian had said earlier…”They don’t have you that well guarded.”

“Restrain the bastard!” Eris ordered his grip on my arm tightening at the command.

“No!” I screamed lurching for Cassian but Eris hauled me back to him.

The soldiers were on him in an instant all of them falling like dominos before The Lord of Bloodshed. Cassian’s eyes blazed with a fury by the likes of which I had never seen before, he wasn’t a general protecting his princess. He was a male protecting his mate.

Eris’ body tensed behind mine as soldier after soldier fell. In an act of desperation I felt him unsheathe the dagger at his thigh, pressing the blade to my throat.

“Oh general,” Eris sang.

It was enough to catch Cassian’s attention for a split second, his eyes widening as he saw the position I was in. A rogue soldier used the small window of time to pull his dagger and stab it through Cassian’s side.

“NO!” I screamed as Cassian hissed, his knees hitting the floor. Immediately the rest of the soldiers were on him, restraining him and binding his wings. His siphons tried to come to light but sputtered out.

“Bloodbane,” Eris smiles, lowering the dagger from my throat. “Stings like a bitch doesn’t it?”

“Eris please, don’t do this. He’s my mate, I didn’t know until now and-”

“I would choose your next words very carefully, pet,” he cuts me off. “Right now your ‘mate’ has been stabbed with a dagger laced in bloodbane, which means that even if your dear brother did know he was here he couldn't communicate with him. As for Rhysand, he now sits in a wedding chapel completely unaware and unarmed with a bloodbane arrow aimed for his fucking throat. And last time I checked the only asset you had was a magic cunt.”

Cassain growled from the other side of the room at Eris’ vulgar words. My eyes flitted to where he was pulling against the restraints.

“However, I consider myself a merciful ruler,” Eris taunted, grabbing my face to meet his stare. “I’ll give you a choice. You either walk down that aisle, be a good little wife, and pop out a couple of heirs as promised, or you call off the wedding and I’ll gut your precious general where he kneels.”

“y/n, no!” Cassian gritted through bared teeth.

I watched my mate struggle to break free, the bloodbane in his system beginning to take over. I looked to Eris who stared at me with hungry eyes. I tried to think of some way out of this, but Eris was right. We had fallen right into this trap, and my hands were tied.

My gaze met Cassian who could read my face like a book, “I’m sorry Cassian, but I once told you that I could never live with myself if something happened to you and I had the power to stop it.” I turn to face Eris and his shit eating grin. “If you promise not to hurt him, or my brother, I will go with you.”

“You will submit to me fully?” Eris asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I nod, my mind flashing back to when Rhys was in the same position.

Eris steps closer to me, tilting my head up in an act of dominance, his mouth too close to mine for comfort. I could hear Cassian’s grunts as he continued to try and break free.

“And you’ll warm my cock whenever I please?” he muses, clearly loving the control he has over me.

“Yes,” I grit.

He smiled triumphantly, releasing my chin as he turned to his guards, “Take him away and lock him in the dungeons.”

“You said-”

“When you walk down that aisle and say ‘I do’ then I shall send him back to the Night Court, Jewel of Prythian. I won’t be taking any chances.” Eris growls in my face before turning to Cassian who had now been brought to his feet. “If I ever see you in my court, or anywhere near my wife again Prince of Bastards, I will make sure that she pays the price.”

“You fucking bastard!” Cassian roars, body nearly limp from the bloodbane as he’s hauled off by the guards.

“Wait, let me say goodbye!” I cry running to him, but I’m yanked back by my arm so roughly it nearly pops out of its socket.

“Your obedience begins now!” Eris grits but I pay him no mind thrashing about in his grasp trying to touch my mate once last time as he disappears behind the oak doors.

“Cassian!” I scream for him, tears waterfalling over my eyes.

“y/n!” he shouts back.

But it’s too late. The doors close with a definite slam and I’m left weeping in Eris’ grasp as I hear the sounds of Cassian struggling down the hall.

Cassian’s pov:

Eris was right, the bloodbane hurt like a bitch. Even an hour later as I sat on the cold, wet floor of the Autumn Court cell, the toxin still made me feel lethargic. As if I had taken the world's strongest sleeping tonic.

The worst part of it all was that I could hear everything. The organ playing signaling that y/n was walking down the aisle and the cheers of the people as they finally said their vows. The worst and loudest of them all were the bells.

They rang with such clarity, and joy. The happy little melody could be heard from everyone in the Autumn Court, announcing that the Eris and y/n were finally wed. The ringing made me double over with grief, their sound a reminder that I was the only male in Prythian who could not protect his mate. A shame greater than being a bastard, and one I would carry with me until the end of my days.

Metal on metal screeched from somewhere in the dungeon as a light poured in. The jingling of keys and stomping of boots stopped at the door to my cell and I didn’t even bother to look up. Nothing mattered anymore anyways.

“Come on ‘Prince of Bastards’, time for you to go back to your own court,” the guard grumbled, like hauling me home was a huge inconvenience to him.

I rose to my feet and stepped languidly out of the door. The restraints on my wrists and wings were removed, the skin on my wrists rubbed raw from the blue stone shackles. I was led up the stairs to where the wards ended and was immediately winnowed to the border of the Autumn and Winter Court. The cold blizzards of winter whipping around us and chilling my wings.

“Prince Eris has asked me to remind you that you are now banished from this court. He also says that should you choose to seek out his wife once more you know what the consequences will be.” the guard relayed.

Before I could even think about punching the asshole square in his jaw he disappeared into thin air, no doubt going back to his post in the basement of the palace.

I was left with nothing but the sound of my own thoughts, and the feelings of my own guilt as I flew home towards the House of Wind where I knew Azriel was waiting. The flight was the longest one I had ever been on, as normally I took this route with y/n in my arms.

I had never been so happy to touch down on solid ground once more. Azriel tentatively walked out onto the balcony, two glasses of whiskey in hand. His shadows told him that something was very wrong.

“What the hell happened?” He asked, an alarm ringing in his voice.

The lump in my throat returns as I remember how it all went down. “The bond snapped for her, and she changed her mind. Eris found us, said he had set the whole thing up. I was stabbed with a bloodbane dagger,” I say, lifting my arm to assess the blood leaking from my side. “He told her that if she didn’t marry him he would gut me and Rhys.”

The next words teeter on my lips as I feel my eyes brimming with tears. It felt like pieces of me were being ripped out as I finally confessed to my failure.

“I couldn’t save her,” I choked out, voice cracking halfway through.

The words being uttered into the world was enough to have my knees crashing to the ground. The impact radiating through my body to the open wound on my side that still hadn’t healed. I was sure that Azriel had said something as I heard the glasses of whiskey clatter to the ground. But the roaring in my ears was so loud, so unbearable, that the only thing that assured me he was still there was the arm he slung around my back as he knelt next to me.

y/n’s pov:

The wedding was uneventful and to be honest the only part of it I remembered was when the priestess said, “If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The silence that had fallen upon the crowd was so deafening I nearly shuddered. I was stupid to hope that he would come charging in like some fairytale I had read as a child. The smug look on Eris' face as the priestess continued with the nuptials made my blood go cold.

The reception was even worse. I had spent the entire time sipping wine with a bland expression on my face. It seemed as though Eris’ new favorite word was ‘wife’ considering he found a way to use it in every sentence. While most would think it a term of endearment I knew it was just to show his ownership.

“Prince Eris, congratulations on stealing ‘The Jewel’ from us all,” a voice said, cutting across the sea of chatter. I looked up from my lap to find the High Lord of Spring, standing before our table.

“Thank you Tamlin, she is quite the prize,” Eris crooned, placing a kiss to the back of my hand.

“That she is,” Tamlin nodded, his eyes raking me from head to toe. “Almost makes me regret crossing her brother, I would’ve liked to have been in the race for her hand.”

“All in the past now,” Eris smiles, kissing the palm of my hand. “Right wife?”

“Right,” I nod to him before turning to Tamlin. “High Lord, where is the Cursebreaker tonight? I would’ve liked to make my acquaintance.” I ask secretly hoping that my brother might catch a glimpse of his mate tonight.

“Feyre is,” he averts his gaze from mine as if trying to decide what to say. “She is safe at home. Busily planning for the wedding.”

“The wedding?” I inquired further, wondering if Rhys knew.

“Yes we are to be wed soon,” Tamlin beamed with pride. “I’m sure we will see you both present?”

“Of course Tamlin, of course,” Eris assured the High Lord of Spring.

Surely if Feyre was getting married to Tamlin my brother knew. I hoped I would get the chance to tell him. The last thing our court, well I suppose his court now, needed was another separation of mates.

The rest of the night passed on quite slowly. At one point I was able to feel the bond between Cassian and I. It was faint, but it was there, and I almost swore that I felt him tug on it at one point. It wasn’t until people started making their excuses to go home that Eris finally said the words I had been dreading.

“Shall we go to bed, wife?” he mused his lips brushing the shell of my ear.

“After I say goodbye to my brother,” I nod standing up to find Rhys, wherever he was.

“You’ll see your brother soon enough, my pet. For now let us retire to our chambers,” he growled, grasping my arm and winnowing away to what I assumed was his room.

He watched intently from behind me as I took in my surroundings.

The bed was large, draped in furs and crisp white sheets. Wood paneling surrounded the four walls, giving the place an ornate look. The fireplace was a glow, casting a warm light upon the room. If it had been anyone else’s room it would’ve been cozy, maybe even romantic.

The air filled with tension as I waited for Eris to do something, or say something, as I refused to turn and meet his gaze. The only sound heard was the crackling of the fire.

“I’ve waited for this moment for quite a long time,” Eris mused from where I knew he was leaning against the door.

“You’ve made that abundantly clear throughout our courtship,” I say straight, unable to meet his predatory stare.

“How should I have acted when you are so tempting? So innocent, so pure, and now so completely mine,” he purred and I could hear his feet shuffle as he pushed off the wall. “And now that you’ve promised me your submission? Well,” he chuckled. “I’m going to have a great deal of fun with you.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I knew what was coming and I knew he wouldn’t be gentle and loving like Cassian. I knew that once again my hands were tied.

“Tell me you belong to me,” Eris uttered, taking a step closer to where I stood rigid.

I sucked down the lump in my throat, “I belong to you,” I whispered.

“Tell me you want me to touch you,” he went on, taking another step forward, his presence looming.

“I-I want you to touch me,” I repeated back, a tear slipping down my cheek.

Eris hummed in approval behind me. He took one, two more steps until I felt his warmth at my back. Finger tips danced up and down the backs of my arms causing my breath to lurch in fear. His breath was hot on my neck as his presence sucked out every bit of air from the room.

“Tell me you love me,” he purred.

My heart stopped cold. There were many things I would have to do or say to please Eris in the millennium that I would be tied to him. But these three words? He would never hear them from my lips. Maybe towards our children, but never to him.

“You know it wouldn't be true,” I whisper, feeling the tension radiating from his body.

His hands grip my hips like a brand, ripping my body around until I am face to face with his seething eyes.

“Then I will make it fucking true!” he growls hauling my mouth to his.

Eris had kissed me a thousand times before, not one of those times did I ever enjoy the experience. But this time? This had to be the worst. All of it felt so wrong. Knowing I had a mate. Knowing he was somewhere in this world right now. It made me sick. It was rough, all teeth and tongues. He didn’t want to kiss me, he wanted to devour me.

“Say it!” Eris demanded, breaking apart our so-called kiss.

“I will love your hounds and your mother, I may love your brothers and one day our children, but I will never love you, Eris Vanserra,” I seethed, unable to take much more.

I expected him to growl, or curse or hit me. I expected a thorough lashing for what I had said, but he didn’t even so much as flinch. What scared me more? His mouth curled up in a smirk.

“You forget that you are also a Vanserra now and speaking of heirs, I think it’s time I put one in you right now,” he mused and my stomach bottomed out. “What do you say ‘Jewel of Prythian’ think I can get you knocked up on the first try?” he smiled, backing me to his bed.

There were no words for the terror I felt. No handbook to prepare me for what came next. All I could do was shut down every emotion I had and do my best to become a ghost. A shell of myself.

No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t subdue the pain.

Azriel’s pov:

I thought that getting Cass drunk might help distract him from the feelings floating down the bond tonight, but boy was I fucking wrong.

I had seen my brother lose soldiers and whole infantries. Had seen him lose his first love, the valkyrie, Tanwyn. I was there the day Rhys and y/n went under the mountain and we thought we lost them for good.

None of that compared to the screams of agony that emanated from the male before me.

“He’s fucking hurting her!” Cassian bemoaned, gripping the nearly empty bottle of whiskey.

It didn’t take much to figure out that he could feel everything y/n was feeling through the bond. And at this late hour? It wasn’t hard to guess what Eris was doing to her, and Cassian had to feel every moment of it down the bond.

“Shh calm down Cass you have to try and block her out,” I pleaded with him, gripping his hand in mine.

His eyes were glassed over, his hair tangled from him nearly ripping it out at the roots. He had been like this for well over an hour now, and I almost wished the whiskey would do its job and make him fall asleep simply so he would be unconscious.

“I can’t Az I’ve tried,” he yells at me, nearly slumping to the side from where he sat on the floor leaning against the wall.

Earlier Rhys had spoken into my mind and asked if everything was alright. I had lied of course, telling him everything was fine, not wanting to insert myself in my brother and the princess’ business. Now I wished I had told him to come if only for him to break into Cass’ head and make him sleep. Watching him feel everything his mate was feeling while she was being… well there weren’t words for it.

“Breathe Cass, breathe,” I soothed, trying to get him to catch his breath long enough to breathe in and out fully.

“I-I can’t,” he cried. “My mate.”

His voice resonated with hopelessness and brokenness, reminiscent of the tragedies depicted in literature. This situation felt nothing short of hellish. For centuries, I longed for a mate—a bond that every fae yearned for. But witnessing how it tormented Rhysand, and observing its impact on Cassian, made me question if I truly desired a mate. In my 500 years of life, I had never seen a male stripped down to his core as profoundly as this.

y/n’s pov:

The next morning I woke up late in the day, the atrocities of last night lasting well into the early hours of the morning. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I wasn’t in the House of Wind, I was in Eris’ room. It wasn’t Cassian’s arms around me in a possessive grasp, it was Eris’.

I slowed my heartrate down enough to assess the room around me. Behind me, Eris was fast asleep, which meant I had a few moments to collect myself before he woke. I looked around the room for a second space and found a door ajar that appeared to lead to a bathroom. I saw my opportunity and took it, carefully wiggling out of Eris’ grasp.

My body ached all over, especially between my legs, but I pushed through until I stood from the bed. I tiptoed over to the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible. Thankfully there were two robes hung on the door. The one for Eris made up of thick cotton, and the one for me made of a cream colored silk.

I reached for the silk robe and slipped it over my bare body, noting every large bruise and handprint that littered my skin. A problem for a later time, I told myself.

I must’ve spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom collecting myself. Constantly repeating my new found mantra.

I will not cry.

I spent so long taking deep breaths that I thought I was prepared for whatever came next. But the second I opened the door and saw Eris standing, staring down at the white sheets of the bed expectantly I knew I was sorely mistaken.

“You didn’t bleed,” Eris stated, tossing the bedsheets aside, stalking towards me.

“What do you mean?” I replied feigning innocence like I didn’t know what he meant.

My heart began to beat out of my chest as Eris stalked closer and closer to me. How could I have been so stupid? To overlook the one thing that meant the most to him in this entire facade.

“Virgins are supposed to bleed the first time they are taken by a male, yet you didn’t,” he growled, stepping into my bubble as my back hit the wall. Never in my life had I felt so small. “Which means you weren’t pure when you married me, or when you came to my bed.”

Every nerve in my body froze over as I watched him put together the pieces. There was no telling what happened next, and the only thing I could do was beg for mercy from whatever plans Eris had for a soiled female.

“Eris I-”

“Did you let that Illyrian bastard deflower you?” he gritted out, a rough hand came to grip my throat, slamming my head against the wall.

Tears pricked my eyes. Even if I had wanted to answer, the hand on my neck wouldn’t allow me. I could only shake in terror and anticipation of what would become of me.

“You useless, pathetic fucking whore.” he gritted, hand squeezing tighter with every insult. “Our marriage is now null and void by the traditions of my court, which means you no longer have the protection of being called my wife.”

His hand releases my throat and I have mere seconds to suck down a breath before a harsh slap falls across my cheek, knocking the air from my lungs once again. The next thing I know I’m kneeling on the floor, clutching my face. Eris reaches out a hand to yank me up by my hair.

“Let me show you what we do to ran through sluts in my court,” Eris spits in my face.

His hand doesn’t relinquish its grip from my hair. Instead it begins to drag me out of the room and down the hall. My scalp is burning from the tug on my hair. He takes a back corridor reserved for servants and my bare knees bump, slice and break on the rough stone stairs leading down to wherever he’s taking me.

My hands try to find purchase on the walls around me so that I can ground myself and fight back but it’s impossible.

“ERIS PLEASE!” I scream, but my pleas fall on deaf ears.

We reach a basement room that drops in temperature and he finally releases me. I try to catch my breath as I watch him scribble something on a piece of paper, picking up a hammer and nail. I instantly go to cower in a corner as he walks towards me. The autumn prince pulls me out of my fetal position by my ankles pinning me to the ground beneath his weight.

“In case I did get you pregnant on the first try,” he seethes before I feel a sharp pain to my lower abdomen.

I don’t look down, I can’t look down. Afraid of what I might see there when I do. My eyes roll to the back of my head as Eris grasps my arm and a cloud of darkness washes over us.

When the shadow withdraws my bare skin is whipped and flayed by blistering cold winds. The ground beneath me is soft, but ice cold. I open my eyes long enough to see white as far as the eye can see.

The Winter Court.

“And just in case you get any ideas about utilizing that so-called mating bond,” Eris speaks again before another sharp sting plunges into my side.

White hot pain spreads from the intrusion and spreads like acid moving through my veins. I feel like the blood beneath my skin is on fire, and I almost wish it was in order to combat the blizzard around me. Only one thing could disable me like this, bloodbane. The very same used on Cassian.

“You’ve brought this upon yourself, ‘Jewel of Prythian’. I hope that bastard general was worth your life and your court. Because when Hybern comes to call it won’t be Autumn Court armies that come to your aid.” Eris says, the disgust in his voice evident.

I can’t speak, can’t even think about anything but the agony I feel. The throb from my lower abdomen and from my side. The bite of the wind and snow on my bare skin. I can barely register the cloud of darkness as Eris winnows himself away, leaving me with nothing but a silk robe for warmth.

I reached down with a cold hand to rip the dagger from my side. I hoped if I could stop the bloodbane from spreading that I might be able to use the bond to call Cassian. The second I discard the dagger blood stains the white snow surrounding me, and I realize my mistake. My hand grasps at the open wound, attempting to apply pressure. As I sat there, bleeding and freezing to death I thought of one thing.

It was all for nothing.

All the pain, all the suffering. Hurting Cassian, hurting myself. It had all been for nothing. I was dying and alone, fingers and toes already losing feeling and I still had no army for my people. Cassian nowhere in sight to save my body and my soul. And I would die here knowing that it was all for nothing.

Because time was of the essence, and no one was coming.

Part 10

Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @nickishadow139 , @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21 @stinkinstuffie , @lilah-asteria , @12358 , @fxckmiup, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @mybestfriendmademe, @anxious-study, @bxm-1012 , @mal-adaptive-dreams , @sh4nn , @talesofadragon , @5onedirection5

Been having some trouble with tagging so if you get the notif twice I'm so sorry

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always

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unclewaynemunson · 1 year

Text

Pt3 to the Wingman Wayne AU | AO3 link

Eddie knows he was right as soon as he sees Steve: the guy is wearing Levi jeans and a dark-blue polo shirt, and if it wasn't for his tinted chapstick, he would have the appearance of the single most boring straight jock in the universe. He notices how Steve's brown eyes flash up and down Eddie's whole body before fixing back on his face again.

He snorts. 'Told you I'm nothing like my uncle.'

'Yeah, you definitely weren't lying,' Steve comments dryly, and Eddie can't help but laugh.

'You still wanna get that coffee or do you prefer to run the hell away from the freak now that you still can?' he asks while wiggling his eyebrows.

'Hey, you won't hear me complain about a free coffee,' Steve says, already holding the door to the cafe open for Eddie like a gentleman who is taking some perfectly girly girl out on a date.

They get their coffees and sit down at a table next to the window, and Eddie wonders what the hell he should be talking about with this guy he so painfully clearly has nothing in common with.

'So you're into baseball?' he asks – it's basically the only thing he knows about Steve and it seems like a safe enough conversation starter.

Steve nods. 'Yeah, back in high school I used to play basketball and I was on the swimming team, so I never really got to train my baseball skills much, but I really enjoy watching. It's one of those sports that always has you, like, on the edge of your seat, you know?'

Eddie snorts. 'I do not.'

'Not a sports guy?'

'Nope.'

Eddie picks up his coffee cup and blows into the steam, just to give himself something to do; the silence between them feels awkward.

'So what are you into?' Steve asks.

'Um... I'm in a band. Metal.'

Steve nods, a blank look in his eyes – of course he cares just as little about metal as Eddie cares about sports.

'And I play D&D.'

He expects another blank look, or – best case scenario – a confused What's that? which will at least help him keep the conversation going for another few minutes, but to his utter surprise, he sees Steve's brown eyes light up.

'I know that!' It sounds like Steve is even surprising himself with that, which is oddly cute, somehow. 'My brother's like, obsessed with that shit.'

'Really?'

'Yeah, I mean, he isn't actually my brother – he's, like, my ex-girlfriend's little brother's friend, I used to babysit them all the time.' He suddenly stops, as if he's embarrassed by himself. 'I'm sorry, that probably sounded really weird.'

But Eddie grins at him. I like weird, he almost says, but he realizes just in time how that might sound and stops himself.

'Nah, not really,' he says instead. 'It's not like this is an actual date, so you're allowed to talk about your ex-girlfriend as much as you want.'

'I don't –' A blush starts coloring Steve's cheeks as he closes his mouth, then opens it again. 'That's not why I brought her up,' he finally says.

'So are you bisexual?' Eddie asks, suddenly finding himself curious about Steve's story.

Steve shrugs. 'Yeah, I guess,' he says, like he doesn't care much about it. 'I was surprised how your uncle could tell, actually.'

Eddie leans closer towards him. 'It's the lips,' he stage-whispers conspiratorially.

A frown appears between Steve's eyebrows. 'You know, I never really understood that,' he says. 'Why are girls supposed to wear a whole face full of makeup and do I get weird stares because I like to give my lips a subtle glow? What's that all about? Who even made those rules?'

Eddie feels a huge grin spread across his face. Who would've thought that Steve the baseball guy would be so fucking fascinating?

'I dunno, you tell me,' Eddie answers. He glances at Steve's polo. 'By the looks of it, you know much more about that forced conforming shit than I do.'

'You're really lucky with your uncle, you know,' Steve says. 'I could tell he cares about you a lot. It's pretty amazing how supportive he is.'

Suddenly, Eddie is feeling exposed by the intensity of Steve's brown-eyed stare. He averts his gaze and takes the last sip of his coffee.

'Yeah, I know,' he says, quietly. 'He's pretty awesome. But a terrible matchmaker.' He smiles as he looks into Steve's eyes again.

Steve chuckles. 'Totally. Well, I finished my coffee, so we can get outta here and you can go tell your uncle he should never play wingman for you again. Just make sure to also say hi to him from me. And maybe thank him for landing me that free drink.'

'Actually...' Eddie hesitates. 'You're still totally not my type, don't worry about that, but it's actually nice to talk to another queer person, you know? There's not that many of us around here. So if you want to, I could give you another free coffee?'

There's something adorably shy about Steve's smile. 'Yeah, that – that sounds great.'

Pt4

My apologies to everyone being all excited about Eddie instantly falling in love with Steve the moment he saw him, I gotta make them suffer some more first ;P Also, all your comments and tags are making me ridiculously happy, honestly!! I’m kinda overwhelmed by the response, and yes i am going back to read them multiple times bc that’s how lovely they are <333

Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35 @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @shadow-bender @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #fruity ficlet

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d6volution · 4 months

Note

OK. I know I’ve been requesting a lot BUUUT. You’re like my favorite writer SO!

May I request a Submissive obsessive Jax! With a praise and maybe,, a mommy kink . X Goth Fem reader

basically, Jax is like obsessed with her, he’s head over heels.! Basically will do anything but of course with hesitation cause of his certain personality. Well. Reader is a slut, and is sexually frustrated. But she talks Jax into breaking the filter just for her, and she uses him to get out her pent up arousal.

alright, this will act as a loose part 2 to my first subby jax fic as well! which can be found here.

tags: submissive!jax , dom!femreader, overstim, light bondage, oral sex, nipple play

(sorry for any typos or mistakes 🙇🏾‍♀️ )

"Ahn.. y/n.." Jax pants, pumping himself into his fist. Imagining you in his mind, that soft yet unwavering expression of yours. 'Taking care of yourself all alone..? Naughty boy, we'll have to do something about that hmm?' He replicated your voice in his head as best as he could. And his hips began to stutter at the notion of you having a reason to punish him again. His dick twitched and throbbed in his hand, ropes of cum shooting from his tip. He panted as he went soft in his own hand. His cheeks were a deep crimson as he gazed at the ceiling.

He'd soon have to make you aware of the monster you created. He couldn't stop thinking about you, hell he couldn't even get off anymore unless he was imagining you.. this must be some sort of karma .. or cosmic joke. Him? With a mommy kink? It's more likely than you think.

------

You were acutely aware of Jax's presence lately. You caught him staring at you more often, or ending up in the same place as you just moments later. He thought you didn't notice, since you failed to comment on his behavior, and you wanted to keep it that way. At least for now. You wanted him to realize that he had to come to you if he wanted more. He needed to admit to himself and you both that he needed something only you could give him. Unfortunately, you knew it wouldn't be that easy. Jax was rather stubborn. But, so were you.

And you guys had nothing else to do. So, let the games begin.

Jax was frustrated and after a few hours of deliberation he finally made up his mind, he needed to at least smell you again. Surely he could get in and out of your room without you noticing, like he'd done time and time before. "C'mon Jax, don't be a wuss.." He urged himself and used the key to open your room door. It unlocked with a soft click and he slipped inside without making a sound.

He could hear water running from the bathroom and immediately stuck to the wall as if it were going to make him disappear.. he stood there for a moment. Chest heaving but he realized.. it was the shower.

The shower?

Whatever higher power was out there, had to be doing this on purpose. They knew Jax couldn't resist trying to take a peek.

He shuffled over to the door , which happened to be left cracked open. And there you were, body slightly hidden by the steam and foggy glass. He could still make out the curves of your body and it was enough to make his pants feel tight already. He felt his cheeks flush from how worked up he was getting so quickly.

He cursed to himself and began to palm his bulge, still watching you wash off the grime from todays adventure.

With a squeak , the showers knob turned off the water abruptly and Jax began to panic.

"I know you're out there.~" You hummed before chuckling, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around your body. He froze— ears shooting straight up, and swallowed... slowly backing away from the bathroom door attempting to make an escape. Unfortunately he tripped over one of your shoes and fell on his ass with a thud.

"So much for bein' lady like, ya know you should really clean up in here tooTS!.." his voice cracked and before he could readjust himself to stand your foot was in between his legs.

"w.. what the hell—!" You pressed down against his bulge and the noise that left his mouth was adorable.

"I don't remember giving you permission to come into my room.. so what makes you think you have the right to judge it?" Your heel grinded against his bulge and he ground, gripping your ankle.

"L.. Listen dollface, I.. just forgot somethin' in your room the other day, sheesh cut me a br..break..!" You heel shifted again before you finally removed your foot.

"Mm.. is that so? That still doesn't explain you peeking in on me showering.." You smirked at him and he avoided eye contact. "Yeah, well maybe don't leave your bathroom door open.." He mumbled,

"Oh, don't go pouting.... you could ... easily make it up to me." You said casually, and he was attempting to stand back up but you stopped him midway as he knelt. Keeping him there on his knees instead. "Stay like that."

"What? I don't think so babe, w-we're not doin' this again." Jax said, lying right through his teeth. Because, he didn’t move.

No, at this point he was trying to convince himself he didn't want this. Even though you've been plaguing his every waking thought since then.

"Oh? We aren't? Then why aren't you moving..?" You asked , standing above him. Arms crossed over your chest. Your hair was still damp, and a bit of water clung to your body here and there.

"........" Jax was silent and you smiled, "C'mon Jax.. it's just the two of us in here. I haven't told anyone about your last session together." You tried to reassure him. "You're safe with me, let me take care of you..~" You purred, because in all reality you wanted him too. Just as badly.

You were just better at hiding it is all.

"What.. do you want me to do..?" Jax said looking up at you with puppy dog eyes and you sat down on the edge of your bed, arching a finger.. silently beckoning him.

He instinctively went to stand but you shook your head slowly and he sighed more in embarrassment than anything as he crawled towards you.. the closer he got the more your legs spread. He almost forgot you were literally naked until he saw your glistening folds between your plush thighs.

He was staring directly at your cunt, his cock throbbing in his pants as he now set directly in front of your spread legs. "Well?"

His hand gripped your thigh and you lightly smacked it. "Where are your manners Jax?" You said with faux disappointment and his ears seemed to flatten just a little, "Please..?" He said, in more of a question, not sure what you expected from him.

"That's more like it.." He felt a goosebumps along his body, and he didn't hesitate in burying his face between your likes much like the animal he was.

You hummed and leaned back on your elbow, he was eager. Missing your scent and taste, his long tongue flicked at your clit flattening against your cunt as a whole. You grabbed at one his ears , pulling him closer and he winced but.. didn't protest to the bit of pain. It only made him more eager to please.

'so good.. mine.. mine.. nn.. need to taste all of you. want to make mommy happy.' He thought to himself , losing himself in your taste as he thrusted his tongue in and out of your tight hole.

You were panting, hand unraveling from his ear and pushing head away, "Mn.. Jax.. baby, let's.. try something.." He wasn't budging at first, you had to use a lot of force to push him away from feasting between your thighs.

"And stop doin' this ..? nu-uh, not until you cum babe—" His trailed off and soon his voice went silent as you were peering down at him with a risen eyebrow.

"Do you wanna cum together or not?" Your voice was firm and that expression he made caused you to smirk. It was laced with obedience and submission. He was trying hard to hide it but you always made him slip.

He nodded his head obediently.

"Good boy."

"How do you feel about being tied up again..? Was that too much for you..?" You asked sweetly, sitting up so you could caress his flushed face.

"N.. Nothin' I can't handle doll.. got a thing for seeing me all stringed up?" He tried to joke.

"Oh, of course, my little rope bunny."

If he thought his erection couldn't get any worse, he was wrong. Good thing you noticed him straining against his overalls. "Let's get those off hmm?" You said and tugged at said overalls.

You have him permission to stand so he could remove his clothes, and that he did. What he wasn't expecting a for you to slide your hands along his waist and pull him towards you. "You're so pretty.~" His waist was so thin but still firm along with the rest of his body , a vast difference from the thick shaft standing tall in between his legs.

"You could take a picture, it would last longer." Jax retorted, again hiding behind humor to mask his embarrassment.

"You what... I think I will.." You smiled and stood up, still somewhat dwarfed by his height you pushed him down onto the bed. He bounced on the plush blankets and you were quick to follow him onto the bed. He didn't even notice you quickly swipe your rope from the night stand.

"What's wrong little bunny? Not chickening out are we?" You asked, noticing his gaze on his wrists as you expertly tied them to the headboard once again.

"What? N—No.." He muttered and you positioned yourself on his lap, his dick pressed up against your warm folds. Slowly your hips rocked against him, teasing him with the warmth and wetness you could offer. "Mnh.." You moaned and he felt goosebumps along his skin. His eyes shut, but soon shot back open when he felt your lips around his nipple.

"W..What are you— ah!" He yelped when you nibbled at the senstive bud on his chest, you could feel him throbbing against you. He was enjoying it. So you continued until he was panting mess and precum was dribbling from his tip.

"So turned on just from this..? So cute.."

"Please.. just need to be inside ya doll, to touch you.."

You chuckled and kept one hand circling his nipple before pinching it, "You know what I like to be called dear, behave and maybe you'll get what you want.~"

"Please.. mommy.. n..need to be inside you.." He whimpered as you gently tugged at his nipple again and finally lined yourself up with his throbbing size, you slowly sunk down onto him.. deliberately taking your time. Unfortunately for him this was the final straw, his dick convulsed and he shot ropes of cum into your cunt before he was fully sheathed inside of you.

He cursed under his breath.

"Did you just..? Oh, baby. Doesn't mean we're done yet." Luckily for you he didn't even get soft, but he did get senstive.

"Hhh..ha.. w-wait.." He tried to catch his breath but you slammed your hips down onto him and he moaned, hips jerking as you bounced up and down on top of him. His shaft pumping in and out of your slick.

Jax strained against the ropes, it was too much. His dick was still so senstive but you wouldn't let up, he couldn't supress the whines and pleas escaping his lips in desperation.

"Mn.. d.. don't worry Jax mommy is .. almost there.. hha.." Your hips kept moving, losing that rhythm it once had and becoming more sporadic until you finally convulsed and squeezed around his already throbbing cock. Causing him to cum again on the spot. "Mnh.." Your legs finally gave out and you laid on his chest. Content with the feeling of his warm seed spilling past your stuffed cunt. "Mnh.. good boy.. see I went easy on you..~" You chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

"Mn.. next time maybe you shouldn't be so easy on me.. I can take it ya know." He huffed.

"Oh, yeah? I'll keep that in mind."

#the amazing digital circus #ask #jax tadc #jax x reader #minors dni

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minnielvr · 8 months

Text

hold me - yang jeongin

˚ ༘ pairing bf! yang jeongin x reader

˚ ༘ genre hurt/comfort, fluff, angst

˚ ༘ wc 1.6k

˚ ༘ warnings angst, jeongins a meanie (but he gets better!!), reader had a bad day, 2 curse words, lots of tears🙁

you trudged back into yours and jeongins shared apartment after a long day of work. everything went wrong today, you spilled coffee on your shirt, your boss gave you way too many papers to look over for one shift, and your boyfriend hasn't responded to your texts all day.

you couldn't be mad at him for that though, he's an idol and had a packed schedule, you knew what you signed up for when you guys started dating.

you kicked off your shoes and hung your coat, hoping jeongin would be back sometime soon, all you need is to cuddle up in bed with him. you made your way to the shower and turned it on, waiting for it to heat up. then you stepped inside and just let the water run down your body. the steaming water felt good against your skin, washing away all the stress this day had put you through.

after a 20 minute shower you stepped out and dried yourself, put on some clothes and made your way to the living room. thats where you saw jeongin sitting on the couch with his headphones on, playing some game with the guys. you were so glad he was home, so you started toward the couch to go sit on his lap and hug him.

now, jeongin wasn't that big on physical affection, he really liked his personal space, but you thought maybe he could let it slide this time if he saw how bad you were feeling.

he saw you in the corner of his eye and turned to face you.

"hey babe you're out of the shower, have a good day?" he asked you, but then went back to his game.

"no...not at all." you mumbled. apparently he didn't hear you over the game because he didn't say anything after that.

it's fine though, you thought to yourself, maybe he's just tired like you. so you went in front of him and sat on his lap, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. you dipped your face in his neck and took in the scent of him, he smelled like home.

what put you off though was that he didn't even hug you back, instead, he shuffled around and started asking you to get off, but you just held on tighter. a silent plea to just make him hold you.

"y/n get off." his voice stern, he put down his controller and tried to push you off.

"please jeongin, just...hold me?" you were on the verge of tears, why is being like this? sure he doesn't like getting this close but surely he can sense you've had a bad day and that maybe you need a hug.

"no y/n, you're being so fucking clingy right now, get off of me." he scoffed at you.

tears were now rolling down your face, you're being clingy? you've just had the worst day and now your boyfriend doesn't even want to hug you. so you got up off his lap and looked down at him,

"well i'm sorry i'm clingy. i just had the worst day and want some of my boyfriends affection. but apparently thats too much to ask for."

"you complain too much y/n, i'm sure your day wasn't even that bad. mine was way worse." the audacity of this man.

you stomped off to your shared bedroom and slammed the door, burying yourself underneath the sheets and sobbing. if he had a bad day did he really have to take it out on you like that? all you did was cry until you fell asleep.

jeongin on the other hand felt so guilty. how could he say that to you? he could've just told you he wanted space and held your hand instead. he didn't know what was going on in his head, but that definitely wasn't him. you were never too clingy in his eyes, you were the only person he enjoys physical affection with.

after a whole 2 hours of him contemplating what to do, he decided to go and beg for your forgiveness. he made his way to your guys shared bedroom and opened the door to find you sleeping. he walked closer and inspected your face, your face was wet and there was tear stains. he didn't even realize you were crying. god how could he be so oblivious?

he sat down next to the bed and wiped away the wetness from your face, his action made you wake up.

"jeongin? what are you doing." you didn't even call him a cute pet name like you usually do.

"y/n im so sorry. please forgive me, i don't know why i said any of that."

you sighed, you were so tired that at this point you didn't even care about what he said, all you wanted to do was lay with him in bed. but he still hurt you, really fucking bad.

"you really hurt me....like a lot." you stared deep into his eyes, you could tell he was really sorry just by looking at them.

"i know y/n, i know. but please believe me when i say that i didn't mean a single word i said. you're never clingy. i'll do anything to make you forgive me, but please, let me just hold you right now. i can't lose you" he plead, tears were now welling up in his eyes, he couldn't lose you because of this.

you could tell he was being genuine, it was rare he was ever vulnerable with you, seeing him like this made you want to cry even more.

"no no no baby don't cry come here," you held up the blanket for him to lay beside you, "you aren't going to lose me silly, it will take way more than that. sure you hurt me but you apologized and thats all that matters," you hugged his waist, "plus im sorry for intruding your personal space like that, i should've asked you first." after all, this wasn't only his fault.

he grabbed your chin with two fingers and moved it up so you could look at him, "no don't apologize y/n, this is all me okay?i should've communicated better, i love being close to you and cuddling you. it makes me so happy."

"i love being close to you too innie, i love you."

"i love you, y/n"

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arcadian-litterateur · 3 months

Text

sick of kissing you in my head (when can it be real instead?) | modern au!gally x fem!reader

masterlist

summary: your boyfriend, gally, is across the country, and despite the struggles a long distance relationship can bring, your love is strong enough to carry you through the long distance season of your relationship. but spending your birthday without him is different than spending normal days separated, and you know deep down that nothing will make you happy on your birthday when he’s all you need.

word count: 8k holy—i really didn’t even realize how long this was till i checked the wc omg

warnings: emotional meltdown, mention of anxiety and anxiety meds, brief mention of panic attacks

a/n: hey guys! i love love love the song this is based off of: all i need (the distance song) by avery lynch. it's such a good song. this was supposed to just be fluff about visiting your bf gally, and then it turned into a whole thing lol. so yeah, i hope you guys enjoy this long ass one shot. i really really enjoyed writing it.

“𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦. 𝘪𝘧 𝘪 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥. 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥.”

𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 onto my side, legs brushing against my sheets, I smile at the FaceTime call on my phone, but it's bittersweet. On the other end of the video call sits my boyfriend, the soft smile on his face mirroring my own. From where he sits, I can see the San Francisco skyline out his hotel window, highlighted by the rising sun.

“I miss you,” I mumble, studying the lines and contours of his face and wondering if they've changed since the last time I saw him in person. If I've missed any change; any detail while we've been separated. If anything has changed or tipped the balance since we've been apart.

I'm not insecure in my relationship with Gally, but be long distance for enough time and everyone gets in their head about it. Catches themselves wondering; doubting.

“I miss you more every time we have to part,” I add, watching the bitter take over the sweet in my boyfriend's eyes for a few seconds before he replies.

“I know, baby, I know.” His gaze wanders into the space between the atoms, his mind leaping forward into the future as he assures both me and himself, “Once my contract with WCKD Enterprises is up, I'll be able to move back to Denver. We'll be back in the same city.”

My smile is tired, only half there, and Gally knows it. It's been months since I've held him in my arms. This long distance routine is wearing us both out. We're both running out of steam—not for each other; not for our relationship, but for the complexity that being long distance has brought to our relationship. Conflicting schedules, spotty internet, the deprivation of physical contact with the person we crave it from the most…it's all beginning to pile up, and we both know it.

In an attempt to change the subject, I ask, “When is your flight back to Chicago again?” I already know, but I'm not sure what else to say, and besides, it's always good to check.

“Your birthday,” comes the cheeky reply, my eyes rolling of their own accord as I secretly admire the handsome grin on my boyfriend's face. But all too soon, his grin fades.

“I'm sorry I can't be there for your birthday,” he says gently. I wave him off, assuring him that I'll be just fine.

“Bren, Tes, and Sony are planning something. Won't tell me what, though.” I sigh before admitting, “It won't be the same without you. But your work's important.” Gally smiles gratefully, but there's cracks in the smile, and my stomach sinks. Guilt over my last comment settles in my digestive tract. “Sorry,” I mumble.

“No, no, don't apologize,’’ Gally says quickly. “You're allowed to be sad that I can't be there.” His amiable grin morphs into a scowl, “Tried to get Janson to give me the time off, I really did. But that rat wouldn't do it.” I give Gally what I hope is a reassuring smile.

“It's okay, babe.” We fall into silence, not necessarily comfortable, but not bad either, before Gally interjects,

“It'll be nice to be in my own apartment, though. I'm getting sick of all these Californian hotels. I'll be glad to be home, smog and noisy L-trains galore.” I chuckle, knowing that Gally loves Chicago because of its quirks, not in spite of them.

Still, Denver has always been home to me. But Gally and I've decided to cross that bridge when we get to it. We've got enough to think about as it is.

I'm trying to come up with another conversation topic, since I don't have work until later today, but unfortunately, Gally isn't so lucky. It’s the perks of working from home as a crisis hotline counselor, I guess. The hours aren’t as demanding, since the work itself is.

“Shoot, I have to go,” he hisses. “I'm sorry, princess. I'll call you tonight?” I nod, forcing myself to look forward to tonight's call, rather than be sad that this one is ending. “Alright, good that,” Gally grins. “I love you, babe!”

“I love you, Gal,” I smile and wave goodbye. The half-baked grin melts right off my face once he's hung up. Gosh, I miss him so much.

There's only so much comfort a video call can give.

Teresa calls me soon after Gally hangs up, blabbering on and on about a date she'd had with some guy named Ben, but I can't focus on her stories like I normally would. Usually, I'm all in to hear my friend's tales, but my mind is still fixated on the miles separating Gally and I. Something in me wonders how much longer we'll be able to go without holding each other. How much longer we can stand to be separated.

When we first started dating, I could have gone months, as long as we were still interacting. But as my love for Gally increased, the length of time I could stand to be without him decreased.

I'm fully, unashamedly in love with Gally now, and part of me wonders what I would do to be living in the same place as him. To be in his arms for good. The easy answer—the most raw answer—is anything. I'd do anything for him.

“(Y/N)?” Teresa's voice brings me out of my thoughts, her suspicious tone confirming that she's noticed my lack of focus today. “You weren't listening, were you?” To an outsider, her tone might sound harsh; reproachful, even, but I know her too well. She's not mad. Just annoyed she'll have to repeat her story if she wants me to hear it.

“I'm sorry,” I mumble, and it's sincere. I am sorry that I lost focus. But I don't apologize for pining after my faraway boyfriend. There's no reason to, for one, and two, I won't ever apologize for thinking of him. For missing him.

Teresa is grinning at my distracted tone, I can tell. Even through the phone, I can tell. “You're good. Dreaming about your bae, aren't you?”

I don't hesitate to admit, “Yes. I miss him more than I thought was even possible.” I hear Teresa's hum from the other end of the phone.

“You need to see him,” she declares. I scoff.

“Believe me, I know, and we're trying to figure out when he can next visit, but we're both just so busy.” Teresa clucks her tongue, the sound distorting oddly through the phone speaker. I imagine it running across the telephone poles, through the wires, twisting and bending and knotting out of shape as it flies all the way to me.

“I didn't mean like that, (Y/N). You need to go see him.” I chuckle, I wish I could.

“He's busy, Tes. Besides, he isn't even in Chicago right now,” I reason. This doesn't deter her.

“Well, when will he next be in Chicago?”

“His flight's on my birthday.”

“That's perfect!” Teresa squeals.

“How is that perfect?” I huff.

“You can fly out and spend your birthday with him! Surprise him!”

I actually laugh at this. “Um, no, I can't. I don't have the kind of money to just throw down for plane tickets. Besides, weren't you, Brenda, and Sonya planning something?”

“Well, yeah, but we could always change plans if we needed to,” Teresa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. On any other day, I would entertain this kind of silly daydreaming, but today, I already felt lonely enough.

“Sorry, Tes. Those spontaneous decisions are not my cup of tea,” I sigh, and I think she can tell I'm shutting the conversation down. She lets it go, and I thank her silently, forcing the ache in my heart left by Gally's absence to venture to the back of my mind. If I waste the day away, it'll be evening again, and then he'll call, just like he said.

And so despite the fact that I know wasting the days away is bad for me, I do it anyway. Just today, I tell myself. Just today.

Of course, I know I'll do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and all the hours in between my calls with Gally. It's ridiculous, how they all say having space helps one think clearer, when having space just distracts me by making me miss him that much more.

When he's gone, I'm reminded that much more that he's all I need.

_______________________________

𝗜𝗧’𝗦 𝗦𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 p.m. by the time Gally calls, his eyes lighting up when he sees me despite the exhausted, burnt out look on his face. I'm equally as ecstatic as he is to revel in the gaze of my lover, both of us simply brushing every inch of each other's faces with our eyes, memorizing each other for the millionth time. It won't be the last time, either. I could never get tired of scanning my gaze across his skin, memorizing every inch of his beautiful face.

In our current situation, it's the closest I can get to kissing every inch of his beautiful face.

Gally is the first to break the silence, and I'm okay with it. He's the one who's had a long day. He knows what he needs to talk or not talk about. I just love hearing his voice.

“How was your day, baby?” he asks, a tired sort of happiness seeping into his voice. Like I'm giving him some kind of rest just by smiling at him.

“It was good. Uneventful.” I shrug, knowing that I'd barely moved from the chair I occupied now. “The real question is, how was your day, my love?”

Gally grins at the pet name. He always does. It's the same reaction that I have whenever he uses terms of endearment on me. It's our own personal love language of sorts. How many different ways can I call you mine?

“My day was okay,” Gally says quietly, sighing when he sees the look on my face. The one that tells him to lay it on me; rant if it'll make him sleep better tonight. “Well, it was…mediocre,” he amends, running a hand through his short hair. “Tim was being an ass. As always.” I nod sympathetically, understanding the deep hatred he harbors for his coworker.

Why Gally doesn't like Tim, I'm not exactly sure, but I know it has something to do with taking credit for a project that Gally did all the work on. It resulted in a harsh lecture from their boss for Gally, who was presumed to have slacked off, and a promotion for Tim.

Anyone who knows Gally knows that he would never slack off. He takes duty and work seriously; more seriously than anyone else I've met, in fact. I know my boy. He wouldn't hurt his company's productivity, even if his boss is an asshole like Janson.

“I'm sorry Tim was giving you trouble, baby,” I croon, watching the aches and tension of the day seeping out of his stiff shoulders at the sound of my voice. His smile weaves its way back onto his face. It's a soft, vulnerable smile, the one that makes me want to take him in my arms and just hold him like the precious treasure he is.

“I wish I could hug you,” Gally groans, rubbing his chin with his fingers before trying to regain his composure. “Sorry…I don't mean to bring everything up again. I just…I just miss you.” My comforting smile wobbles, knowing that those same thoughts are eating away at me inside, but I bring the happy thoughts back to the surface and my grin rights itself.

“Soon, love, soon,” I murmur, knowing I can't truly promise anything with how busy our lives have become. But soon doesn't have a time slot or expiration date. I can promise soon and define it later. All I know is that it brings a smile to my boy's face, and that's what I need right now.

We spend the rest of the night talking, lifted by the promise of Soon, love, soon, knowing that it could very well mean a long, long time.

_______________________________

𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗦 in my bedroom window, blinding me when my eyes flicker open. But once I blink away the black spots in my vision, I see that the sunlight isn't the only reason I was pulled from the comforting arms of sleep.

Brenda, Teresa, and Sonya are standing at my bedside, my sheets in a bunched up ball in Sonya's hands. I groan, trying to roll away, but Bren, ever the fearless one, grabs my shoulder and pulls me back to face them.

“Get up, (Y/N). No spending the day moping,” she orders. I heave out an exaggerated sigh, making my body intentionally limp as Brenda and Teresa each grab one of my arms, pulling me upright until I have to support my own weight.

“Sometimes I really regret giving you guys my apartment passcode,” I comment, leading Sonya to pinch my arm. I yelp, rubbing the red mark as I get manhandled out of my pajamas and into a new outfit by my best friends. “What—what are you crazies doing?” I splutter, quickly taking the pair of jeans from Teresa's hands before she can try to shove them on my legs, opting to put them on myself.

“We aren't letting you mope around until Gally visits. Who knows how long that would be? It's not healthy,” Sonya explains, linking an arm through mine as the three girls drag me to the bathroom. Brenda shoves my toothpaste-loaded toothbrush into my hand as Tes starts pulling my hair brush through my hair.

“Ow,” I complain around a mouthful of toothpaste suds, pulling away from Teresa's assault on my tender scalp momentarily to spit. She and Sonya make quick work of my slightly frizzy hair, tag teaming it to create a fun yet elegant braid.

“Beautiful,” Sonya sighs, leaning back to admire her handiwork. Brenda, on the other hand, seems to have some kind of mental checklist, full of all the tasks she must see me complete.

“Breakfast is next,” she commands, and I find myself being pulled into my kitchen, watching helplessly as my friends dive into making us a scrumptious, sugary feast.

I have to admit, the fluffy blueberry pancakes filling my stomach certainly make venturing out into the world much easier than I expected. I only feel the need to text Gally three times before leaving my apartment with my friends, rather than the usual five to ten. Whether these texts are to let him know I'm fine or to make sure he's fine, I've never been able to figure out. Maybe they're both. Either way, it's a good thing Brenda shoved my meds into my hand before breakfast.

When I'm here alone, I don't take them. Sometimes I skip them on purpose, sometimes I just forget. But either way, I don't take my anxiety meds unless Brenda is there to shove them down my throat. Thinking about it, I'm grateful she's here to force me to take them today. With all of these mixed up feelings about being separated from Gally for so long, having more control over my anxiety will be good.

A day shopping with my best friends is a good distraction from the painful loneliness I've been feeling without Gally. It's not exactly a cure, but it's close. My friends know this; know their own limitations, and so they do the best they can.

And I'm so grateful that they've put in the time. Put in the effort. All for me.

“Thank you,” I whisper to them as we sit in our favorite coffee shop, sipping oat milk lattes.

“Of course,” Brenda immediately responds.

“We love you,” Sonya adds.

“We know we aren't your boy,” Teresa chimes in, “but we're your best friends, and that means we stick by you. No matter what.” She leans over to rub my arm. “When you're down, I'm down. We wanted to help pick you back up.”

The smile on my face is genuine for the first time in a long time, knowing that my friends love me enough to support me despite having the knowledge that they can't give me everything I need. They give what they can, and accept me when it doesn't fix everything.

I haven't always had friends this good, and I look up at the sky, thanking the heavens that I've been blessed with such good friends now.

_______________________________

𝗧𝗪𝗢 𝗗𝗔𝗬𝗦 before my birthday, I can’t get Teresa’s half-joking, hare-brained idea out of my head. Realistically, I know that the likelihood that I could find a flight on my birthday to Chicago that isn’t full (or way too expensive) is slim. Realistically, I know that I don’t have the money for plane tickets right now. Realistically, I know that flying halfway across the country on a whim to see my boyfriend is ridiculous.

But when Gally sends me his flight information, knowing I like to watch his progress and get confirmation when he lands safely, I find myself checking flights from Denver to Chicago, telling myself it’s just out of curiosity. Because what if there is a flight to Denver from Chicago on my birthday? What if there is a possibility that I could see Gally on my birthday? What if there is a chance that I could have this gift; the only one I truly want?

If there’s even a chance to see Gally on my birthday, I want to know.

Gally’s flight information is pulled up on my phone, which is next to me on my desk as I scroll through flights on my laptop. My right thumbnail is between my teeth, bitten down to the quick and then some. It seems that flying is a popular travel option right now, as flights are filled even into places like Dawson County, Montana. Every flight I find from Denver to Chicago is either full or too expensive for someone just out of college, like me. The cheapest is $374, and I know rationally that blowing through that much money would be devastating for my finances.

I swear under my breath, angry at myself for even getting my hopes up. It was a stupid idea to check the flights, and I find myself wishing I could go back in time to stop myself from looking. The disappointment grows even larger knowing that there would be a way to get to him if I wasn’t a broke post-college student making minimum wage in the Mile-High City. Then the disappointment and anger melt away, leaving me with a heart wrenching sadness that feels so empty and yet so all-consuming that I can’t help but break down into tears.

I don’t want to let myself cry about a silly daydream that was unlikely to happen anyway, but I’d let myself entertain the thought of seeing Gally soon; of holding him close and kissing him until we couldn’t breathe, and now everything else seemed pale in comparison. It wasn’t that my life had no purpose outside of him—I’d made it very clear when we started dating that the two of us needed to make sure we had lives outside of our relationship, too. But Gally had become a part of me; my favorite part of me, in fact. I was perfectly happy with the life I had, but Gally made it even sweeter. And knowing that sweetness was mine but was inaccessible made the absence of it even more palpable. Even more unbearable.

Crumpled into a heap on my floor with tears slowly leaking from my eyes is how Teresa finds me when she opens my door fifteen minutes later. “Hey, girl—” she calls before seeing me, rushing to my side with a worried, “Oh, my gosh, what’s wrong, (Y/N)?” I just shake my head, the waterworks turning back up to full blast.

“I miss him so much,” I sob as she gathers me in her arms, unable to care that I sound pathetic.

“Oh, I know, darling, I know,” Teresa coos, rocking back and forth with my shaking body, whispering comforting words into my ears just like she always does when I get so worked up. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath, hand flying up to wipe the snot from my nose, but of course, the minute it’s gone, more replaces it. I’m past the point of an easy calm-down, instead finding myself close to the edge of hyperventilating. Thankfully, Teresa isn’t a stranger to my emotional meltdowns, and she isn’t afraid of them, either. Instead, she’s the kind of friend who will take my hand and guide me through it.

“Did you take your meds this morning?” she asks cautiously, to which I shake my head in embarrassment. Tears are still pooling in the corners of my eyes as I manage to get out,

“I’m sorry.”

Teresa just shushes me calmly. “Don’t apologize. It’s in the past now. I just wanted to know.” I nod shakily, the soothing pressure of her hand rubbing my arm helping me steady my breaths slightly. “What set you off?” she queries, squeezing me a bit tighter when the tears speed up again.

“I—I decided to check the flights for my birthday,” I answer, sniffling as my best friend strokes my hair lovingly. “It was stupid, because it just made me upset. They’re all too expensive, and I knew they would be, and it just made me miss him so much more.” Admitting it out loud makes me feel even dumber, the guilt creeping into my stomach. “I did this to myself,” I mumble. Subconsciously, my nails find their way to my arms, digging into the delicate skin and leaving pink crescents behind. Teresa pulls my hands away from my arms quickly.

“Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. I would’ve done the same, (Y/N).” I know she’s trying to comfort me, but I just squeeze my eyes shut.

“Yeah, and it wouldn’t have caused you to end up on the floor like a pathetic child.”

“(Y/N)! Stop!” Teresa scolds me. “Stop with the negative self-talk.” I try to protest, but she fixes me with that no-nonsense look that can get anyone to agree to anything, and I find myself nodding meekly. “None of this is your fault. You’re in a difficult situation, being separated from your boyfriend, and your heart isn’t sure how to handle it. That’s okay. You don’t have to know how to handle it perfectly yet.” I sigh, leaning into my best friend’s shoulder, feeling slightly calmer now. She always knows the right words to say when I’m in too deep to think straight.

Teresa coaxes me into the kitchen to drink hot chocolate once my breathing has steadied somewhat. She’s looking at me with an odd look that I can’t quite place, as if she’s…proud of me?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask warily over the top of my steaming mug. My best friend grins, staring at me for a couple more seconds before replying,

“You’re just, like, the strongest person I know.” My face turns what I assume is beet red at the compliment, not expecting such high praise from the woman who just held me in her arms as I sobbed like a baby. But then again, Teresa is special. She doesn’t judge based on outward appearances or impressions. She can see right into the heart of people, as if she can sense their goodness; their potential, and then she nudges them down that path. Helping them choose the sunshine. The good side. The light.

Knowing her compliment is slightly overwhelming, Teresa shrugs and changes the subject so fast I think I get whiplash. “You should call Gally,” she suggests. “Tell him that you were missing him and ask him for some love.” I cringe, turning away from her.

“I don’t want to make him feel bad that he isn’t here. I think I’ve already done that too much this week.”

Teresa scoffs, “That’s nonsense. He’ll be happy that you reached out to him after your meltdown. He’ll be touched that you wanted to let him know how you’re doing. He’ll feel honored that you’re willing to be vulnerable with him.” I know deep down that she’s right; that the only thing he’d do is make me feel better. Never after calling Gally do I feel worse. I know I’m just scared to hurt him, but he always assures me that I don’t need to harbor that fear. I don’t need to hold onto that anxious voice in my head that whispers, You don’t deserve him.

I can even imagine him next to me if I try hard enough, murmuring, “You’re perfect, baby,” when I grow insecure. Whispering, “I’m so lucky to have you” in my ear when I doubt myself.

“Okay,” I agree, letting Teresa take my phone and FaceTime him. Despite the fact that it’s the middle of the work day, Gally picks up on the first ring, a concerned look decorating his handsome face.

“Teresa? Wha—”

“She’s fine!” Teresa rushes to assure him, motioning for me to join her on the couch. I pop my head into the frame, wincing as I see how swollen and puffy my face is. Gally’s forehead immediately creases upon seeing me, obviously still worried when he sees the tear stains on my cheeks.

“Babe, are you okay?” he asks. Teresa silently asks if I want to take the phone, but I shake my head. My hands are still slightly shaky, and holding the phone is an added stressor. Teresa understands and angles the phone towards me.

“Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry,” I whisper, my boyfriend’s shoulders relaxing only slightly. “I just had a bit of a meltdown. Teresa found me and helped me calm down.” Gally’s eyebrows soften, his mouth tilting down in a sympathetic frown.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “What happened?”

“I just miss you,” I mumble sheepishly after a second’s pause. It seems kind of silly once I admit it out loud, and I start to duck my face away when Gally gets my attention.

“Hey, (Y/N), (Y/N),” he says, waiting until I’ve turned back to him before continuing, “You don’t need to feel embarrassed. I miss you, too, okay? I miss you so much. You don’t need to feel ashamed for struggling.” He waits for me to respond, and I nod slightly. Truth be told, just hearing his voice has made me feel better; stronger. There’s something about his comforting, strong tone that soothes me. Just his voice can make me truly believe in myself. I swear, this man could make me believe anything as long as he says it aloud.

“Thank you for picking up,” I smile, finding my mood lightening as a grin finds its way back onto his face. “Seeing you helped.” Gally blushes slightly, rubbing a hand along his chin.

“I’m glad I could help, baby.” Offscreen, someone gruffly commands him to get back to work, and he mutters an apology before turning back to the screen. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. But call me if you need anything, okay?” I nod, trailing my eyes over his freckles one more time as he thanks Teresa for taking care of me and then hangs up.

“It helped?” she asks, as if double-checking to make sure I truly am feeling better.

“Yeah,” I grin sheepishly. “You know what you’re talking about.” With a roll of my eyes, I joke, “You should be a counselor for a living. At this rate, you’re better than me at my own job!” Teresa just laughs.

“Well, now that you’ve cracked a joke, I know you’re feeling better.” She pulls me into a hug, and I gladly return it, silently wondering how I got blessed with such an amazing best friend.

“Hey, I’m here for you,” she reminds me one more time as she leaves, her meticulous check-ins a promise for the next few days.

“I know,” I assure her. “I promise I’ll call if I need to.”

“Good,” she says, smiling as she waves. “I love you, babes!”

“I love you, too, Tes!” Feeling a bit lighter, I wave back as I close my front door.

_______________________________

“𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗡’𝗧—I can’t take this,” I stutter the next day, wide-eyed at the wad of cash Teresa is currently shoving into my hands. Brenda and Sonya are flanking her on either side with looks that imply they’re attempting to telepathically convince me to take the money.

“Yes, you can,” Teresa sighs exasperatedly. “Like I already told you, it’s the money we were going to spend on your celebration pooled together. But we all know you’d rather spend your birthday with Gally, and we want you to be able to, so we’re giving you the money for that plane ticket you couldn’t afford. It would be a waste to throw you a party you don’t want to be at. Helping you see your boyfriend is a much better use of that money. We all agreed.” Brenda and Sonya both nod, Teresa shoving the cash even further into my palms. I take it shakily, counting silently as I gape at them. “But—but this is nine hundred bucks! I can’t—I can’t take this, I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry!” Brenda sighs. “Just take the money! It’s our birthday present for you!” I look back and forth between my three best friends, realizing that there is no way they’re letting me reject the money. But it feels so weird having this many fifties weighing heavily in my grasp.

“Please take it,” Sonya says softly, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “We want you to be able to go see Gally. We want you to enjoy this birthday. You’ll be giving a gift to us by making this impulsive choice to do what makes you happy.” My resistance gets melted away by her words, knowing that this was their tactic all along. Get (Y/N) all toughened up to the ‘just take it’ ruse and then let Sonya slip under her defenses when she least expects it. But I’m not annoyed by it. Instead, I let Teresa close my fist over the cash.

Immediately, the three start cheering, but before I can even blink, they’ve moved on from celebrating and are pushing me towards my laptop where, just as I’m sure Teresa suspected, the flights from Denver to Chicago are still pulled up. Teresa obviously asked Gally to share his flight information with her, because she seems to have it memorized as she scans the flights.

“Alright, here’s the best one,” she announces after a few minutes of looking. “United, nonstop, leaving at 9:30 a.m. MT and arriving at 12:56 p.m. CT. It’s in the same terminal as Gally’s flight, and he lands at 2:23 p.m. CT, so that gives you a little over an hour to get to his gate and wait for him. Sounds good?” I nod wordlessly, still slightly in shock over the way my best friends have handled this so nonchalantly, as if their friend flying across the country on a day’s notice is just a normal part of their lives.

Sonya pulls me towards my room as Brenda takes the stack of cash back from me, mumbling that Teresa insisted they have it for show but was just planning on Venmoing the cash to me. I laugh at our friend’s antics before following an impatient Sonya, who grabs my suitcase from my closet and starts making a list of what I should pack.

“We’re not buying you a return flight,” she explains, “because we didn’t know how long you’d want to stay, and we figured you didn’t know either. Just bring your work stuff and you can work from Gally’s apartment, and use the rest of the money to buy a return ticket when you decide to come back.” I shake my head in awe at the schemes of my friends, who have obviously thought of every single anxiety I could have because of this plan and have set out to refute them.

With Sonya helping me pack, a task that would usually take me at least three hours, two cups of coffee, and a panic attack is done in under one hour, no coffee or panic attacks in sight. While I wouldn’t have minded the coffee, the no panic attack part is nice, and I decide I can live without those two cups of coffee if it means my peace of mind is intact.

And the next morning when Teresa drops me off at the airport, my medicine taken and an ample breakfast eaten, the nervous butterflies in my stomach don’t feel scary. In fact, they feel almost…exciting. And I feel crazy for doing this; for flying halfway across the country to surprise my boyfriend so I can kiss him on my birthday, but I also feel so alive.

And today, the idea of living doesn’t seem as scary anymore.

_______________________________

𝗔𝗦 𝗜 wait at my gate and sip my Starbucks latte, I answer the countless birthday texts I have already received, smiling at the overflow of love from people I talk to everyday and people I barely even know. It’s funny, knowing that there are people out there who remember my birthday but don’t talk to me otherwise. Some might feel disheartened at the idea, but I just giggle quietly to myself, wondering if I’m going crazy for feeling so lighthearted.

Maybe it’s the adrenaline, I think to myself. The adrenaline from doing something so stupid and yet so exciting. Shrugging to myself, I take another large gulp of coffee, finally getting to the text from Gally. I saved it for last, knowing it would be the best one. And sure enough, as I read the message, I feel happy tears pricking my eyes. As always, he’s sweet; sappy, even, but his message also holds the serious intensity that he always has around him. It’s like an aura, telling those around him that he does everything fully and completely, never giving only half of his effort. That intensity is probably why I love reading texts from him over and over. Even if it’s a simple good morning, his texts always seem to scream I love you from between the lines.

I text Gally back, thanking him for the love he’s sent zipping along telephone lines, across the country and all the way to me. I suck the last dregs of liquid from my Starbucks cup, finally accepting that the beverage is gone as the gate attendant calls for Boarding Group 1. I find myself bouncing from foot to foot, realizing once again that I’m really doing this. I can’t bring myself to sit down as I wait for my group to be called, instead standing by the gate’s charging station, fidgeting like I’m about to run the 100 meter dash. By the time I’m boarding, I’m breathing heavily like I just sprinted up Pikes Peak. Whether from nerves or excitement, I can’t really tell, but it’s enough that the flight attendant touches my arm as she checks the cabin.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” I look up in surprise before giving her a quick grin.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous.”

She smiles empathetically. “Is it your first time flying?”

“No. I’m flying out to surprise my boyfriend, and I guess I’m just hoping it all works out like I planned,” I explain.

At this, I receive an even bigger grin from the flight attendant, who thinks that is just—“the most adorable thing ever!” I nod along, unsure whether I’m actually smiling or just masking my anxiety. Either one is a plausible explanation, and I’m pumped so full of adrenaline that all of my emotions currently feel interchangeable.

I spend the entirety of take-off nervously fiddling with the little screen in front of me, trying to distract myself. Once we’re at a constant altitude, the flight attendants offer drinks, and I ask for a ginger ale, my go-to drink on airplanes. It calms me down, the comforting security of it helping me stay rational. Unfortunately, the ginger ale combined with my anxious thoughts cause my bladder to reach its limit quite quickly.

I hate the little bathrooms on airplanes. So loud, so claustrophobic, so turbulent. It’s like trying to pee while in the middle of an earthquake. But my bladder isn’t playing games today, and the last thing I want to do is ignore it and then pee myself. The intrusive thoughts fight to take over as I rush through the motions, washing my hands as quickly as possible, but I stave them off and make it back to my seat in one piece.

The remaining hour until landing is the longest hour of my life.

When we finally touch down and taxi to our gate, all of the tension that has built up inside me feels ready to explode, but I hold it in, knowing that I can let it all out once I see Gally. It’s barely even occurred to me that I’m a year older now—that it’s my birthday—because all I can think about is getting to hold my boy.

I almost trip getting off the plane, too busy checking his flight’s progress and landing gate. His flight is still an hour and thirty minutes out, giving me more than enough time to go to the bathroom, get some food, and wait for him. I pull my suitcase behind me, so glad I decided to take everything in my carry-on, as I’m now realizing that baggage claim is outside the secure area of the airport. I break free from the flow of traffic heading in that direction, redirecting towards the bathroom.

One bathroom trip, makeup refresher, and food court scavenger hunt later, I’m standing against a column at Gally’s gate, drinking my second Starbucks latte of the day. Normally, I wouldn’t let myself indulge like this, but it’s my birthday, so I feel justified. I even treat myself to a slice of sweet bread, too. I’m too anxious to eat a full lunch. Besides, I’m sure Gally will be happy to get lunch on our way back to his apartment. He’s always willing to eat, no matter the time of day.

I’m trying my best not to look suspicious. There’s a flight leaving from this gate after Gally’s flight arrives, so I blend in, but my leg is bouncing nervously and my hands are shaking slightly. I’m a naturally energetic person, but the fidgeting increases exponentially when I’m either excited or nervous. Right now, I’m both.

Thankfully, no one seems to notice me or think I’m behaving weirdly. I’m simply overthinking, like I often do. At least it passes the time. I only have thirty minutes left to wait.

I run back to Starbucks and buy another latte. It’s gone within ten minutes, my anxious energy prompting me to gulp it down like I’m dying of thirst. Then I’m running to the bathroom again, bladder shouting angrily at me for the caffeine abuse I’ve been subjecting it to. It’s unpleasant, but it kills more time.

Ten minutes to go. I’m staring at my phone, Gally’s flight details pulled up, reloading the page over and over in hopes that magically, they’ll teleport and be here instantly. With anyone else, I wouldn’t be this obsessive; impatient, but it’s Gally. I could obsess over Gally for days on end with all the love overflowing from my heart. So I pass three minutes refreshing the page persistently, watching the minutes countdown.

I let out a quiet, barely there gasp when my phone screen tells me he’s landed. I can barely contain my excitement, nervous energy causing me to wiggle my hips like a rhythmically challenged dancer. His plane is on the ground, taxiing over, right to where I’m waiting. He’s going to walk through that gate, and I’m going to see his beautiful face, and I’m going to run and jump into my boyfriend’s arms.

All of a sudden, doubt crashes into me like a fucking tidal wave. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if this is weird, and he’s going to be all awkward about it? What if this was one huge fuck-up? I can feel myself starting to spiral, starting to lose touch with the confidence I’ve been channeling all day. The panic has started to grow, and it surges through my veins, reaching to the tip-top of the cliff that is followed by a plunge off the deep end. Thankfully, though, with only a few minutes to spare before my boyfriend gets off his plane, a little girl in a princess dress bumps into me, hard, causing my knees to buckle and my head to snap out of the spiral it’s in.

I catch myself against the trusty column I’m leaning against, looking down to find a young girl, maybe six, wearing an Elena of Avalor dress-up costume with a stuffed animal that looks like some kind of leopard with bird wings.

“Amity!” her mother scolds her, ordering her to apologize for bumping into me. Amity looks up at me with big, brown doe eyes and a huge, genuine grin.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am,” she chirps. I smile back, making eye contact with her mom, before crouching down to her level and holding out a hand to shake.

“I forgive you. I’m (Y/N). Want to know something?” Amity shakes my hand, grinning widely, before looking at her mom as if to make sure it’s okay to talk to me. Her mom gives a gentle nod, a kindness in her eyes as they meet mine. “Well, Amity, you actually helped me just now. I was feeling super duper nervous and it was making me get shaky and worried. But then you bumped into me, and I saw your smile, and it made me feel a lot better!”

I can tell Amity’s mother is touched, and I make sure to assure her that I’m doing better. That Amity’s little scuffle with my legs was truly helpful. And then Amity and her mom are on their way, Amity’s tight hug and whisper of “You look like a princess” giving me the last boost of confidence I need.

Right as I finish waving goodbye to the adorable little girl, I hear the sounds of passengers starting to come down the jetway. I suck in a sharp breath, making sure my small suitcase and jacket are safe by the column before stepping closer to the junction between gate and jetway, watching passengers closely as they start to trickle into the airport.

It’s no surprise that I can pick Gally out of the crowd immediately after he walks out of the jetway, his head easily peeking over every other passenger. He doesn’t see me at first, focused on trying not to trample the small toddler whose family is trying desperately to get him to behave as they walk in front of my boyfriend.

I wait until he’s right there, just the toddler’s family in front of him, to call his name. “Gally!” His head snaps up, eyes scanning the surrounding area before settling on me, his jaw going slack, falling open in surprise as the toddler’s family quickly moves out of the way.

It’s like we’re living in slow motion, the way I watch Gally’s backpack slide out of his hand and hit the floor with a thump, his look of shock morphing into a state of joyous disbelief, as if he’s not sure he’s truly seeing me. He looks frozen in this state, unable to move towards me, but I don’t care. I’m already running up to him, happy tears gathering in my eyes as I jump into Gally’s arms, my head burying itself in his neck before I lean up to kiss him with all the pent-up love, tension, and nerves that have been coursing through my body all day.

His lips are warm just like they always are, soft and full and inviting as we kiss passionately; shamelessly, right in front of everyone waiting to board their flight. I can’t bring myself to care, anxiety nowhere to be found now that I’m here. In his arms. Held tightly, kept safe, flooded with warmth, just like I’m supposed to be.

He pulls away first, still in shock as he scans my face, as if expecting to find some imperfection that reveals me as a doppelganger. “Baby—” he chokes out, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes, my own tears rolling down my cheeks. “Baby, you’re here.” He lets out a giddy, confused laugh, cupping my cheek with his hand as he wipes the remnant saltwater away with his thumb.

“You’re—you’re here. In Chicago,” he repeats, putting my feet back on the floor so I can stand there with my arms around his neck, his other hand coming up to cup my other cheek. “You’re—it’s your birthday!” he says, and I can’t tell if it’s another reason he’s confused I’m here, or if it’s just an observation. Well, probably both, so I just giggle.

“Yes, Gally, it’s my birthday.”

“But—did you—when did you get here?” he asked, bewildered, a lovestruck, excited smile lighting up his whole face. I run my hands through his hair, admiring his gentleness as he cradles my face in his palms.

“An hour and a half ago, I think. I’m not sure the exact timing,” I shrug. He gasps.

“You flew on your birthday?” I give him an odd look.

“Yes…why? Is that illegal or something?” Gally chuckles through the joy-filled tears still drifting down his face every once in a while.

“No, baby. I just thought—most people wouldn’t be willing to fly or even be at an airport on their birthdays. Don’t you have cool stuff to do? Fun people to see?” I shake my head, pulling him as close as I can, our lips hovering inches apart.

“You’re the only person I wanted to see. This is my birthday present.”

Gally’s eyes water even more as he presses his forehead to mine, running his hands through my hair. “Baby, I—” He pulls away to wipe a tear from his eye and then leans back down, pressing a gentle peck to my forehead, “I love you so much.”

“I love you even more, Gally,” I whisper back, staring into his teary eyes with my watery own. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“Not possible.”

“It is, too,” I giggle, still whispering as I press a kiss to his lips, “and I’m the birthday girl, so you have to let me win the arguments today.”

“Oh, that’s how that works,” Gally laughed, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Well, I suppose I can let you win this one, since you did fly all the way to Chicago on your birthday.”

“Oh, but that was selfish,” I smiled. “I wanted to see you. I needed to see you. It was purely selfish.” Gally just hugged me tighter, pressing kisses to the top of my hair as he admitted quietly,

“Well, I needed to see you, too. I needed to have you in my arms.” I relax into the warmth of my boyfriend’s chest, the material of his hoodie tickling my nose. I endure it because it smells like him, and that makes it the most calming aroma in the world.

“Being in your arms is all I need. You are all I need,” I whisper.

I kiss him again, a loving, sweet kiss, reveling in the presence and taste of my boyfriend, a sense of peace and safety wrapping its warm arms around me.

Nothing else matters in this moment. Not my job, or my life in Denver, or my birthday. All that matters is that I am here, in my boyfriend’s arms. In Gally’s arms.

Right where I’m supposed to be.

the end

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hobisstar · 7 months

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What are you hiding from love?| Yandere!Jk x Reader V Last Part

Summary: Being in a relationship with Jungkook you’ve always noticed the signs, the red flags if you will. Being so in love with him you ignored them, until the people you loved dearly started disappearing one by one.

Warnings: Murder, Jungkook victim blaming ( like he will say i killed you because you are too stupid or whatever), Possessiveness, Mentions of Smut, Controlling, Locking up YN.

Taglist: vante 🫶🏾

A/N: This is made to be scary! That is all. I honestly dont like mixing smut with yandere because i read yandere fics to be spooked not horny lol. This has been absolutely fun to write for you guys! Im so happy how much love it had gotten over the past month since ive been writing it! I love you all so so much! Enjoy!

Its been about two years since Jungkook decided to let yn go on her own! So far, yn has become the owner of the coffee shop, has opened up plenty of them across Asia and plans to open some in The Untied States.

Life has been looking absolutely beautiful for yn! But heres the thing.

Bodies have been discovered. Fresh bodies. Of course going through what she went through with Jungkook, she feared that this was his doing. That the so called hobby has now reached the news channels. Though it says that the crimes has been in only England, it was still capability of it being Jungkook.

“Yn! Are you even listening? Im telling you Namjoon wants to take you on a date!” Joy, yns now close friend that she has gained from opening the coffee shops.

“Sorry, but i dont think im ready to date. The last guy was for 5 years and it didn’t turn out well in the end.” Yn mumbled looking over at the tv that was on the crime scene of the killings.

But what was showed, made yns blood run cold.

What was at the crime scene was dandelions.

The flowers that Jungkook always used to gift her on days he felt like we did something wrong. He would cut the steam off and just leave the flowers to never be able to grow again.

Was he…back?

It was closing time and of course yn being the owner, she decided that it was her duty to close every single night.

But tonight, she couldnt shake the feeling that she was being watched.

As everyone was leaving she saw a guy with a big hoodie on taking his time to clean up his mess on the table. Putting his crumbs inside a napkin then taking the napkin and closing it tightly then throwing it out.

yn watched from behind the counter taking containers from the counter and putting them on the shelf behind her.

This mysterious guy has been coming in everyday. Same time. She never serves him but she knows Joy does and she hates serving him. ‘His glare, it can kill.’ She would say when describing the eyes of this mysterious man.

While cleaning she saw the guy get up and come up to the counter.

Face mask on and glasses… sun glasses.

Its night time.

Maybe it was a fashion statement. Thats what yn left it as. “ Hi sorry we are about to close soon so im gonna have to ask you to leave..” is what she was aiming to say but once she turned around she saw he just left a napkin with hand writing on it.

She grabbed it and began to read it:

“Hi baby! Oh its been such a long time, oh how i miss you. Our child also misses you. 2 years right? That is let you go? Ah, I remember something. Today is our anniversary! Our now 7 year anniversary. Im picking you up at 11! Be ready!

JJK,”

Yn was at this point shaking. Fear took over her body but was trying to hide it. She wasnt doing such a good job at that. As much as she wanted to call the cops, get him arrested, she knew that those cops had no chance in trying to get Jungkook.

Hed kill them all in the blink of an if he even knew that they talked to yn.

When yn got home she didnt let the fact go that when she got there she obviously saw Jungkooks car right outside her town house.

Mind you this is the 5th time this year she has moved. None of the reasons dealing with Kook but they definitely where personal reasons.

She braced herself, once she goes inside her home, Jungkook will be inside.

She could call the cops and run away from home then go to Jins house.

Actually now that Yn thought about it, what if Jin had something to do with it? He was always to calm for her liking honestly. Why was he always just so calm with him? I mean he explained it yes, hes seen it for so many years but why didnt he at least call the cops? Then again was the cops really gonna help him?

Entering the home, it felt like deja vu. Coming home on anniversary and Jungkook was cooking their favorite shared dish.

Spaghetti! Yn liked it because it was delicious and Jungkook probably like it because it reminded him of blood.

“My love! You are right on time! The Spaghetti is hot and ready to be platted. Get comfortable and come eat”

He didn’t need to turn around for yn to know that it was actually him. He colored his tattoos, became more swoll and also cut his long hair.

Yn didnt change anything or didnt get comfortable since this was all just too much for her.

‘Keep calm and go with his plan, yn.’ Thats all she kept telling herself.

Though what was his plan? Drug her? Kill her?

Well, none of those. He wanted her back. If that meant living in this house with her, then so be it. Jin had Bam so, they’d have plenty of time together.

Finally he sat down with two plates of spaghetti and there he was in all his glory.

He had the cockiest smirk while toying with his now new lip ring before sitting down across from yn.

“ Fucking finally, i have you again.”

#bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x yn #jeon jungguk #jungkook yandere series #jungkook yandere #yandere bts #yandere!jungkook #hobisstar writes #jungkook ff #jk bts #jeon jk #spooktober

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tarrynightss · 1 year

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𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽

Pairing: Miles Quaritch x fem!reader

Warnings: Angst (like ALOT), graphic descriptions of violence and death, no happy ending

Summary: Had you and Miles ever been build to last? You certainly thought so, proudly wearing his ring on your finger. But when the tensions rise, and it becomes time to choose sides, will he stand with you? (read the inspo post for some spoilers)

A/N: Damn maybe I am evil. This fic is based on this idea I had. There will be a part two with Recom Miles

A laugh resonates throughout the room, the soft yellow light from outside pouring in through a small window. It’s so warm as you shift under the blankets, laying on your side as you stare at your lover. His hand runs over your bare waist, the adoration in his blue eyes clear. Miles could not remember the last time he had laughed like this. It was as if you had brought color back to his life, your warm smile seared into his mind.

“Don’t tell me you are going soft on me, Colonel.”

Your voice is smooth like honey, and he stares at your lips as you speak. Soft? He scoffs. Perhaps you were right. You had him wound around your little finger, the man growing anxious whenever he wasn’t near you. It was supposed to be a one night stand, some fooling around to blow off steam, but it had grown into so much more these past few months. Never had he thought he would fall for some science nut.

Miles moves some hair out of your face, stroking his fingers over your soft skin. Touching you feels natural, feels right, and the face of content you make has his own lips curling up into a smile.

“I love you.”

The words come out so easily it frightens him, never having been the type of man to say it out loud. He knows he’s no easy man to love, and the situation you both are in isn’t ideal either. But you don’t point out any of that. Instead, your eyes sparkle as you place your hand over his, cupping it against your cheek.

“I love you too, Miles.”

Miles marches down the hallway with quick steps, his hands balled into fists as he curses under his breath. You had lost your damn mind, undermining him in front of everyone to defend some savages. He had known you would not be pleased with his proposal, but you are his fiancé, for crying out loud! You were the last person he wanted to hear call him a bloodlusty fool. He should’ve gotten you taken out of that Avatar program as soon as you started rambling about Pandora’s native population and how you were going to learn their ways, but he didn’t. He loved you, and seeing your passion for it had foolishly blinded him.

You run after him, fumbling with the device you’re holding as you bring forward the same holographic screen you had shown him and the others at the meeting. You should not have said what you did in the heat of the moment, but this is far more important than any of that.

“Miles! Please! I’m sorry! Please listen!”

He stops so suddenly that you almost crash into him, staring down at you with furious eyes. It makes your stomach drop, but you press the screen under his nose regardless.

“If you don’t believe me nor Grace, fine, but we have proof. Solid data that shows that there is more at play here,” you plead with him.

Miles looks at what the Na’vi call Hometree, perfectly mapped out with a thousand or million little connections running through it. At the moment it only fuels his anger.

“Because of the connections between trees?” he fumes in a way that makes you feel foolish when you nod.

He hums, looking you over as he pretends to consider it for a moment before sharply turning around, nearly knocking the device out of your hand. You stand there, nailed to the ground in shock. He had never been a big science guy, but he had never disregarded you in this way. You hope it’s just payback for what you had said.

Miles continued walking towards his room, and just as he feared, you chased after him. He did not try to stop you as you walked in after him, the door sliding closed behind you with a hiss. The quarters are pretty much as much his as they are yours, not having slept in your own bunk for months.

He puts his hand over his face, as unsure as to what to do as you are. It’s hard to be mad at you, but god, what the hell did you expect?!

“The decisions has been made. I will follow my orders, and so should you,” he tells you stiffly and turns towards the wall, praying this will be the end of it.

You shake your head, slamming the device in your hand down on the metal table next to you, the loud ringing noise it emanates making his muscles tense.

“That’s bullshit!” you curse and move to look at him, his hand still concealing his facial expression. “This is not just a mission, Miles, we are talking about taking dozens of lives!”

His hand drops from his face and he looks at you with exhaustion. “Newsflash sweetheart, but that’s what most military missions boil down to.”

You go silent for a second before scoffing, unable to tell him he’s wrong. “That does not mean it’s right.”

Your eyes meet his, and they beg Miles to show mercy. “There are children there, babies. Defenseless creatures who have no idea that there’s any conflict going on.”

His jaw tightens. Babies. An image flashes through his mind of you holding your own little bundle of joy, your face radiating as you smile. He almost grimaces, realizing his brain truly has been turned into mush by you.

A chair scrapes over the ground as he pulls it back to sit down, the screen of your device still flickering on the table. He braces himself. “Well, then at least they won’t know what hits them.”

Disgust washes over you at Miles’s words. You try to convince yourself he doesn’t mean it, that he’s just bluffing. You have been with him for over half a year now, he couldn’t be like this.

You find the ring around your finger, anxiously twisting it around as you once again reassure yourself. He may not be a kind man, but he’s not this either.

“Don’t be like that,” your voice comes out just above a whisper. “What if it was our child?”

His gaze flicks from your face to your stomach briefly before he painfully balls his hand into a fist, putting it on the table in front of him. “We don’t have one.”

“For god's sake, Miles!” you hiss and move closer to him, staring down at him with panicked eyes. “But what if we did? What if it was our child in there?!”

You want him to say something, anything that shows that he would care. He swallows, throat bobbing.

“Then I would them to get the fuck of there before they get nuked.”

The last bit of hope on your face disappears. As you look into his hard, cold eyes, you see that he is not bluffing, and you wonder how you ever saw any warmth in them at all.

You do not want to cry, but at the prospect of losing everything you love in a matter of days, your resolve stands no chance.

Hot tears stream down your face as you shake your head, desperation washing over you. “Don’t do this, Miles. I will beg you if that pleases you. I will get on my knees and beg till my voice is gone if that means you won’t go through with this.”

Your hand finds his face, reaching out to that man who cuddled you when you couldn’t sleep, to the one who would laugh with you, the one you love.

“You are asking me to betray humankind,” Miles says, his voice strained.

“No,” you reply quickly, eyes flicking over his expression and trying to read the hint of something in his voice. “I am asking you to at the very least be neutral. You would neither fight the Na’vi nor support them. We could go away until this is all over.”

You smile weakly at him, the corners of your mouth twitching under the stress. “We could go back to earth, get married, start a family. We’ll leave all this behind.”

It’s a tempting offer, his throat feeling closed up as he takes it in. Just the two of you, a normal, simple life. No more fighting, no more danger. He’d get the family that he never thought he’d have.

“No.”

Your hand falls as his answer hits you, betrayal written all over your face.

Miles loves you, but he can’t do it. He is not the type to pull back, can’t betray the military he has served for so many years. Sempre fi. The words have to bring him strength, comfort, but they pale at the sight of pure hurt on your face.

“No,” he says again, both to you and himself.

Your mind reels. Does he not even care that all you had will be over? And for what? Honor? Duty? All a heap of shit in your eyes.

The deep breath you’ve been holding comes out shaky, more tears falling from your eyes. Your fingers fumble with taking his ring off, and you glance down at it one more time. Your heart throbs painfully in your chest, the tension inside you rising as you realize you will be on opposing sides. It all builds and sears before something snaps, and you let out a strangled cry, throwing the now useless piece of metal in his lap.

“I won’t need this anymore then!” you yell, but all he does is watch, not even bothering to catch the ring as it slips down the front of his shirt and clatters to the ground.

He had never been meant for marriage, he thinks. Perhaps it was better if it crashed and burned now.

You heave at his lack of response. “Say something you fucking bastard!”

The muscles in Miles’s neck tense as he cocks his head to the side, producing a forced grin. “It’s been fun, sweetheart.”

The patronizing tone of his voice has your cheeks burning, feeling like an absolute fool. He had strung you along, used you. He would’ve never done anything for you that didn’t benefit him.

You storm off without another word. Miles Quaritch had turned out to be exactly the man everyone thought he was, you had just been too blinded by love to see it.

—

Blood slowly trickles down into Miles’s eye, his teeth grinding down on one another as he balls his fists. Jake Sully. The man stands in front of him in his Avatar form, hissing ferally. Jake had taken you with him, flown off with you to god knows where and dragged you into this war. Quaritch’s blood boils at the notion. Whether you wear his ring or not, you are his, and he had locked you away for your own good. Sully had no right to interfere with that.

“Where is she?” Miles shouts, the knife of his AMP suit raised up in defense.

Jake shakes his head, teeth bared. “Gone. Shot down by one of your soldiers.”

No. Miles growls in anger at the lie. He had given orders to take you in alive, had spread both your human and Avatar picture out to every soldier he could reach. He glances back to the unit placed nearby. If your Avatar did get shot, you’d be in there, in pain, but very much alive. You wouldn’t have been foolish enough to run back out as a human, right?

“Come on old man.”

You had beckoned him towards you with your hand, your knuckles covered with hand wraps. You barely ever worked out, but had not hesitated to accept his challenge. Land one hit on him and he’d agree to take a little trip on Pandora with you. You were bold, Miles would give you that, but your skills were lacking. There were dozens of holes in your defense as you stood, and before you could even react, he had knocked you to the ground.

But you didn’t give up, oh no, using any measures to work your way out from under him and get back in the fight, yelling ‘again!’. You would not give up until you couldn’t go anymore.

The waver in Miles’s attention allows Jake an opening, grabbing a discarded metal piece with a knife-like end from the ground and charging his enemy with it. It pierced right through the front of Miles’s AMP suit, the sharp end only an inch removed from his face. His mind shifts to full on survival mode as he tears the hunk of metal out of his suit, the suffocating air of Pandora quickly starting to seep in. The glass in front of him is useless now, barely anything visible through the scattered pieces, and so he presses a button to eject it out of its frame. He scrambles to put on the emergency oxygen mask as his heart beats fast in his chest from the lack of air.

Sully won’t give up without a fight either, uncaring that he possesses no weapons as he charges the Colonel. He puts up one hell of a fight too, the mechanic suit struggling to withstand his blows and pulls, the metal creaking when Jake attempts to rip pieces of it off. When he’s purged on top of the AMP suit, Miles sees an opportunity, grabbing him by the braid that protects his queque.

Jake groans in pain as he’s smashed down to the ground, the grip on his braid unwavering as he’s dragged around. Miles raises Jake up, intending to crush his throat till it’s mush in the suit’s fingers. He would pay for what he had done.

“Stop!”

The voice rings loud through Miles’s head.

“Stop! Miles!”

His eyes snap away from his enemy, widening as he sees you. Your Avatar form is bloodied but not gravely wounded, the warpaint on your face matching those of the rest of the Na’vi he’s seen. You move towards him, slow but agile, your long tail sweeping behind you. The way your big, yellow eyes watch him disturbs him. There’s something so familiar in them, carrying that same twinkle as your own, but the rest of you is completely alien.

“Miles.” Your voice beckons him, makes him forget for just a moment where he is.

He doesn’t let go of Jake as you come closer, in fact he makes no move at all. Miles realizes that even in this odd form, he’s relieved to see you. These days without you had been torture, the Colonel laying awake every night, kicking and hitting walls out of frustration as he could find no way to get to you.

As you inch towards him, he wonders if you’re going to try to convince him to come with you again. Though he did not want to admit it, this battle was finished, so if there was ever a moment to give into your request, it was now, his own harsh breathing signaling he could not go on for much longer.

You glance from him to Jake, watching your friend struggle in his grip. Miles notices how your pupils dilate when they flick back to him. A sign of affection as you once told him. You still love him, even after all he did.

Maybe- Maybe he should go with you, perhaps it wasn’t -

Within the blink of an eye, you have jumped onto his suit, crying out as you drive a dagger through his chest.

-too late.

Miles’s eyes open wide in shock as he stumbles back, letting go of Jake in the process. His mind is unable to catch up with what just happened. You had stabbed him, and he shakes his head weakly in disbelief as you stare at him. You wouldn’t do that, you wouldn’t… he feels his brain fogging up as blood seeps from his wound, blurring everything.

Your mouth opens to reveal your fangs as you pull your dagger back out of Miles with a wet squelch, causing him to stutter as he coughs up blood. You aren’t hissing, no, instead your face has warped into a pained grimace. Your weapon instantly drops to the ground, tears forming in your eyes. He’s confused as to why you look so sad, his grip on reality slipping as he bleeds out. The harsh sunlight blurs your surroundings, and for a moment he thinks you are back in his room, your human face framed so beautifully by your hair as you smile at him.

An attempt at your name leaves his lips as his knees give in, the suit going down with him. There’s too much blood and spit flowing from his mouth for you to understand what he’s saying, his face quickly becoming stained with it as it flows through his mask. In his mind he said it. He said your name, said that he loves you, that he’s sorry.

Your shaky hand cups the back of Miles’s neck, propping him up slightly. Your tears drip down on his mask as you silently weep, watching as the color in his face continues draining until his eyes go vacant. His body sputters in your grasp once more, a last impulse from the nervous system, and then he hangs limp, the Colonel long gone.

You tell yourself you had no choice as you stare into his empty, blue eyes. He would not have stopped. You had given him a way out and instead he destroyed and killed everything in his way. He would’ve fought for the humans till his last breath. This had to happen. Didn’t it? Didn’t it?! You pull his lifeless body up, holding it against yours as a choked scream leaves your throat. You had never felt pain this sharp.

It’s not until you feel Jake’s hand shaking you by the shoulder that you realize that you’ve been holding Miles’s lifeless body for god knows how long, your throat sore from weeping. Your body feels cold and stiff, shaking as Jake helps you put down Miles.

You know you have to leave, but before you do, you start searching for his dog tags, patting down his uniform. What you find instead is something that makes your blood run cold, your fingers tracing the outline of a ring in the chest pocket of his jacket. It’s so tiny in your hands as you pull it out, holding it as if it were made of glass. He had carried it around on his heart ever since you gave it back to him.

A sad smile forms on your trembling lips and you press the ring against them.

I love you too, Miles. I’m sorry.

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