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ellecdc · 29 days

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All's Fair in Love & Chaos

1st instalment (read the second here)

a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.

Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates

poly!DeathStar x fem!reader

The day that every witch, wizard, and wix alike waited their whole life for finally came for Sirius Black; the day that their soulmate’s initials became visible on your wrist.

The mark becomes visible when the last person of your soulmate bond comes of age. For example, much to Lily’s chagrin, the initials J.F.P became visible on her wrist on March 27th, as did the initials L.J.E on James’ wrist.

Much to Sirius’ chagrin, on June 25th, the initials R.A.B became visible on Remus’ wrist, as did the initials R.J.L on Regulus’.

And so it went for the rest of his friends and classmates.

Except for poor Pete, whose wrist adorned the initials of someone who - after much research and triple-checking by all of their friends - clearly didn’t go to Hogwarts.

Sometimes, however, soulmate bonds took place between more than two people, and though it was possible for it to happen among all blood statuses, the odds were higher amongst Pureblood’s.

So when Sirius woke up this morning to a weird burning/itching feeling on his wrist, only to see not one, but two sets of initials, he was feeling pretty chuffed.

That dissolved very quickly, however.

“No…. nononononononono.” He muttered in agony as he saw two people approaching him; one looking almost as horrified as he did and one looking awfully sinister.

“Well, well, well.” Barty Crouch Junior drawled as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, dragging you over with him - seemingly without your consent – by your arm. “I thought it must have been a mistake when I woke up to find out I had a Son Of a Bitch as a soulmate, but alas; here you are.”

“This can’t be.” Sirius whispered disbelievingly, causing Barty to cackle maniacally.

“Oh, but it is.”

Any words that Sirius had died on his lips at the wheezing of his younger brother.

You, Barty, and Sirius all turned to see Regulus hanging from Remus’ shoulder as he clutched his stomach.

“I…I – oh Salazar, I think I finally believe in gods! All of them! Oh…” He stuttered in between fits of laughter.

Sirius looked between him and his supposed best mate, but Remus only looked at Regulus as if Regulus was his most beautiful when he was laughing at the expense of his brother.

Bastards; the both of them.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” James offered, his face clearly trying to smile though it took on a pained expression in comissery.

“Thank you…” You accepted timidly, eyes darting between the group of people you suddenly found yourself emmersed in.

“Now look what you’ve done, Black.” Barty sneered as if Sirius’ last name was a dirty word. “You’ve worried our poor girl.” He cooed as he pulled you tight into your side, causing you to squeak in surprise.

“I hardly think I’m the one worrying her.” Sirius sneered back.

Barty’s face turned stony. “Just what are you insinuating?”

“Uhm, that you’re certifiably insane?” Sirius responded simply.

“Oh, come now; Junior’s not that bad.” Remus tried to reason; his boyfriend still hanging limply off his shoulder as he tried (and failed) to repress his laughter.

“Not that bad?” Sirius screeched incredulously. “Did you not see what he did to Crawley?”

Peter snorted at that. “Mate, you literally did the same thing to Snape.”

“That was you?” Barty asked in surprise, looking Sirius up and down skeptically.

“Sure was.” James answered on his behalf.

“Huh.” Barty chuckled in thought. “That’s where I- never mind that. I only did that because he groped Y/N’s arse.”

Sirius felt his own face turn stony as he turned his attention to you. “Is this true?”

You seemed to pale at the attention. “Well…yes? But-”

“Ha ha. Black’s just as bad as me.” Barty sing-songed from beside you, looking at Sirius with a look of faux innocence.

Sirius heard a thump, and he looked over to see Remus looking behind the bench where Regulus had apparently fallen in his fit of laughter.

“I – I’ve died, yeah? I’m dead? Fuck, I must’ve done something right in my past life to be rewarded with this. Sirius is – is bonded to Barty Crouch Junior.” He howled with laughter, so uncharacteristic of the young, stoic Black.

“I am not!” Sirius argued petulantly. “I’m bonded to Y/N, Junior just…happens to be there.”

“If you’re only bonded to Y/N, why are my initials decorating your wrist, hm?” Barty asked salaciously, pulling Sirius’ wrist towards him to see the evidence for himself.

“Oh, sod off.” Sirius barked, shoving him aside and offering you an apologetic glance before storming towards the exit.

“Oi! Where are you going, future-Mr-Barty-Crouch-Junior!?” Barty taunted.

“To jump off the astronomy tower!” Sirius called back.

“Ou! We should go watch.” He said, turning to you before following Sirius out. “You should try to do a flip!”

“Oh, Y/N.” Lily cooed after the boys finally disappeared out of the Great Hall. “I’m so sorry.”

You let out a long-suffering sigh as your eyes stayed focused on the place where you last saw your two new soulmates. “If Regulus did something in a past life to be rewarded with this, I must have done something right horrid.”

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ttulipwritezz · 2 months

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King Of My Heart (Body And Soul)~ R. Lupin.

Chapter 2 - Expectations

Ootp! Remus Lupin x Sirius's sister!Reader

Synopsis: When James and Lily died, and your brother was sent to Azkaban, Remus was the only person you have left. Until he left too. What happens when he returns after the events of Sirius's escape, only to find out you have a son? A son that's his.

WC: 1.4k

Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, might be ooc idk, child (?), fem reader, italics are flashbacks ( idk), love (ew), Sirius is back, [ look at series masterlist for all content warnings]

A/n: This is more of the backstory and how they came to be, along with lots of awkwardness from both ends, I promise there's more remus in the next chapter <3 oh and reunion with Sirius and thanks to @lixzey for making me wanna push the awkwardness~ :) If you enjoyed this please reblog and comment :)

Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist, Navigation

You and Remus were in love, you had been in love for 6 years.

Everyone knew you'd be endgame, and your brother hated it, to an extent.

Sirius loved that his little sister was happy, that she had joy in her life after the roughness of their family life. But he was scared, scared because he knew how much Remus would push people away, push himself away.

He didn’t want you hurt. But you were.

You found out in October, two weeks before Halloween.

You had been talking with Lily through letters back and forth, discussing your recent morning nausea and sickness.

She had asked when was the last time you and Remus had slept together, strange you considered that question, you replied a week ago at most.

Her letter came back with the words "you might be pregnant, dear...why don't you take this potion i sent along?"

And along with it there was a potion in a small vial with a piece of parchment guiding you through the process.

All you had to do was drink half of the potion and wait for the other half to shift hues.

And sure enough, the once rust coloured potion soon turned blue, signalling your current state.

You were carrying Remus's child, a child you hadn't talked about, a child you were sure you weren't ready for.

It was now hallows eve, the day you thought you had worked up the courage to tell Remus.

Children around town had just finished trick or treating and your husband was bringing back the basket with remaining candy.

He came into the bedroom with you and went straight to the shower, promising to return in a bit.

Your eyes heavy with sleep, you sit down on the edge of the bed, waiting for Remus to come out of the bathroom.

He sees them on your trousers before in your eyes, your tears. His brows furrowed in concern and pity as he looked at your face, eyes dull with sorrow and fear, so uncharacteristic of your usual glimmer and joy.

"What's the matter, dove?" He asks, voice slightly hoarse from the drowsiness in the back of his mind.

You don't answer, only look at him like you're out of words. You're thinking, thinking what a little Remus would look like, how they’d have the same nose, probably his same freckles dusting their face, and the same sandy locks of hair with deep roots.

You wonder if he'd want this, a kid, if this could be the one thing Remus would give up the world for.

"Come here, darling" he says and takes your body into his, nuzzling your face in the warmth of his polyester sweater. He understands, he always does.

That's how you sleep that night, unaware of the chaos that was soon to follow.

Remus rushed out of bed the moment the potter's deer patronus knocked on the window.

The white buck stopped at the foot of his bed and let out a call of help, soon disintegrating to mist after.

That night Remus lost three friends, you lost a brother to azkaban and you lost Remus.

He left the morning after. With your heart shattered to pieces, you let him go.

Your mind screamed at you to tell him. Tell him and maybe he'd stay. Tell him and maybe he'd reconsider. But your heart, ever the kind one, ever the selfless one, let him go. In hopes that one day you'd see him again.

Remus was half expecting you to slam the door in his face. To make a face of absolute disgust and just lock him out. But of course the other half of him was longing to hold you, see you after so long. So it came as a welcome surprise when you widened the door and let him inside.

"Uhm...come in, please, we were expecting you" You said, trying not to let your voice waver.

Remus felt so awkward. His hands were clammy, his posture was stiff and his jaw was clenched. He felt like he couldn't move, no more than if he had been hit with the petrificus curse.

You weren't in a much better predicament yourself. You could feel your eyes pricking with tears at the mere sight of him. The same man who left you. The man you let go. The man you still loved.

As he made his way inside the house you let your eyes roam across his figure. His hands were littered in large scars, far bigger than those you'd seen before. His face was shrunken, eyes hollower than you remembered. His smile lines were far more prominent now and his sandy brown hair had a few streaks of grey littered throughout.

"Where is the rest of the order? Where's sirius?" Why did you leave? Why are you back? How are you? You had so many questions but the rest were best kept to yourself.

"They're on the way, I was just...early" I wanted to see you.

Remus hated himself for leaving you. He wanted to tell you that. He regretted each night, even more so on full moons. After leaving the realisation of what he had done dawned on him, it was already too late.

Alas, by the time he had worked up the courage to talk, You were already making your way across the hall to embrace your brother who had just arrived.

When did he get there? How consumed in his thoughts was Remus?

You greeted Sirius with a hug and a look-over of his whole figure. His posture was shrunken, eyes even hollower than Remus's and instead of his signature smirk, only a ghost of a smile was left on his face.

A feeling of guilt consumed you. Your brother was back after azkaban. Innocent. And your mind was all consumed by Remus.

You ushered the rest of the order inside and told Regulus to pack up his things and clear out the living room. The confused and curious glances you got from everyone did little to ease your nerves.

Sirius pulled you aside. You prepared yourself for the conversation you knew was to follow.

“Who’s that?”

It was a valid question, Sirius was well aware that Remus had left that night. After their teary reunion, the werewolf had gotten an earful from the oldest Black. He was shocked and thought that you had found someone new, unlike Remus, Sirius was quick to notice the similarities between the small boy and you. He deduced that he was your son.

“Uhm- He’s my son.”

You were staring at your feet, and your hands were fidgety.

There was a long pause. The silence was so loud you could hear the clock ticking.

“I…I have a nephew?” His words came out uncertain. Cautious and slow.

With a hum you replied “His name is Regulus. Regulus Jace.” You left out the last name. Legally he was a lupin. And so were you. But it wasn’t that hard to conceal that at hogwarts.

At the mention of his little brother, Sirius seemed to grimace. But he put a smile on.

“You named him after Reggie?-” He asked. And continued as you opened your mouth to answer.

“Who’s..who’s the father?” He didn’t want to assume the worst. He was happy, truely he was. After that “bastard” (as he put it) left you it was only fair. No matter how much he ached to see the two of you together again.

“It is Remus.” You replied, vulnerability lacing your voice.

His face seemed to light up, eyes widening, both in shock and delight. Before he would alert the whole house, however, you let him know one more thing.

“He doesn’t know. Neither of them do. I haven’t told them.”

Your chest felt heavy, and your throat seemed to close up. It was hard for you to talk about. Despite being married you and Remus had never talked about kids, let alone with your friends. The feelings of contempt and guilt surrounded you.

Next thing you know, Sirius is pulling you in for a hug, securely wrapping his arms around you and trying to soothe your worries. His right hand wraps around your back as his left brushes against your hair in a calming manner.

It all comes crashing down. The weight of the lies, the guilt, the fear, the hatred. You cannot hold back the tears that rush down your face. A sob rakes though your body. You feel so much, everything, all at once, joy, relief, contempt, familiarity of an embrace.

But most of all...love. Love you haven’t felt in fourteen years.

Series Taglist (open): @twilightlover2007 @idli-dosa @lovesanimals0000 @deathbyramennoodle-s @deadgirlsrunning @lovelyypythoness General Taglist (open): @desikudisworld @iamgayforyourmom1510

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1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam · 8 months

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Imagine being such close besties with someone that your entire world knows about it. Just. Sirius Black and James Potter being so close that literally nobody questions that Sirius was the Potters’ Secret Keeper, even when he immediately went after Peter in a very public way, instead of laying low like any sane person would do after they were just revealed a traitor and their precious Lord died (although, they did think Sirius went mad, so it makes sense in a way). But of everyone in the Order, no one once questioned the Potters making Sirius their Secret Keeper, despite his prejudiced family, despite the Prank, despite any number of ways in which Sirius wasn’t perfect. Everyone in the Wizarding World still saw Sirius and James, and thought, “yeah, there’s no way it was anyone else, even if the betrayal makes their friendship seem so much less deep”. There was no reason for Remus to question it because he watched James and Sirius be the best of friends for a decade, he knew Sirius was Harry’s godfather, he knew James would have trusted no one more, that Lily loved Sirius and thought the world of him. There really was no other choice for the Potters, to anyone.

Which makes Peter being Secret Keeper that much more awful because it was such a genius move! Sirius was actually so smart to try this twist, to suggest making Peter the Secret Keeper. He knew everyone knew how close him and James were, how close he’d always been to the Potter family, he knew they’d come after him and Sirius would’ve DIED rather than betray his friends, his godson. He would’ve died to protect Peter too, so that nobody would know who the Secret Keeper really was. There was no reason to suspect Peter when there was Sirius Black, known Death Eater hater and unendingly loyal to his friends, RIGHT THERE. If Sirius really HAD died, he would’ve gone out thinking his friends would still be safe bc once Voldemort discovered he wasn’t the Secret Keeper, it would’ve jumped to Remus or even an older Light member like Moody or Dumbledore. Sirius damned himself knowingly, before ever finding out that Peter had gotten the Potters killed.

Sometimes I think about how Sirius managed to convince James and Lily to use Peter instead of him. They both must’ve known that Sirius would be killed immediately once it was determined that he didn’t know the Secret, so Sirius must have used Harry against them, said that they needed to do ANYTHING to keep their little boy safe, even if it meant Sirius offering himself up as a target, a sacrifice for their safety. Sirius must have thought he was so smart, because he found a way to keep his friends and godson safe, even though he wasn’t the Secret Keeper, and he didn’t put them at risk by trusting “potential spy: Remus Lupin”. He must have argued with James and Lily for ages about it, convincing them that it was the right decision, some misdirection to keep them safer for longer, another line of defense between their little Harry and the monster who wanted to destroy him.

It’s already wild to me that Sirius even held enough power/voice in this discussion to even suggest Peter as Secret Keeper. Like, the level of trust James and Lily must’ve had in him, to entrust their lives AND their son’s in Sirius’ plan? Nobody can ever say that Sirius wasn’t loved and trusted to the ends of the earth by James and Lily. They wanted HIM because there was nobody they trusted more, even with how reckless Sirius is shown to be, even years later. Trying to imagine Sirius in Azkaban all those years, knowing he basically handed his best friends over to Voldemort with that plan? Hell on earth, literally. He speaks on it maybe once to Harry in the entirety of the series, and it’s so clear that he is completely derisive about the plan. He despises the fact that it was his plan that got his best friends killed, that caused Harry to lose his parents. He blames himself (and Peter), but he had over a decade to sit in prison and think about the what ifs of that plan, to remember that it was his idea that killed James and Lily.

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 12 days

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What if that night in Godric's hollow Lily chose to let Voldemort kill Harry and stepped aside when Voldemort asked her to?

Self-preservation kicked in! No one knows how they will react facing death. She should not be blamed for protecting herself.

Would she be honest and tell people what really happened or make up some believable story? What would happen to her after that night? Does she leave England? How would the Order/Sirius/Dumbledore react to the events? Would Severus go after Lily and tell her he is her hero? Would this be a better AU for Lily and the wizard world?

Woof.

Well.

It's not good.

Would She Be Honest and Tell People What Happened?

We don't really know much about Lily's character is the thing. I make a lot of things up for my own benefit, but that's my taking and running with the very little we see in canon.

We really don't know how she'd react.

The way I characterize her? Feeling guilty over her husband's death (who died for her and Harry) and the fact that she survived her son (who she perhaps could have protected) she'll confess to what happened. She wants people to blame and hate her so she can punish herself for this.

And judge and punish her they do as this is something the Order and the greater public just can't understand. I'm sure rumors of how and why Lily was spared also fly and soon Lily goes from the truth of simply stepping aside (and being spared because of Snape) to having slept with Voldemort to save her life to being his spy the entire time.

What Would Happen to Her After that Night?

The gossip against her is massive and I imagine the Order never quite trusts her again. They may not kick her out, though I'm sure some (certainly Sirius who is mad with grief over James's death) vote for it. Lily may leave of her own free will out of guilt and so as not to give the Order a black eye.

The Prophet may or may not run smear campaigns against her both to distract from the realities of the Ministry not managing anything against You-Know-Who and because this is such a shocking awful story.

Lily becomes persona non grata but is presumably left alone by the Death Eaters as Voldemort chose to spare her life and the order has been passed down through the ranks (and as Voldemort is alive he keeps Bella and the Lestranges and Barty in check in a way he didn't at this point in canon).

Lily lives a miserable life in which her husband and son are both dead, she's of no help to the cause, and she's trying to get on with it.

How Would the Order/Sirius/Dumbledore React?

See above but I imagine ostracization.

Sirius would never forgive Lily for James having died and Lily just selfishly allowing Harry to be killed. I imagine he'd blame her in his mind and believe that she had betrayed James personally by doing this. Not to mention what kind of a person/Gryffindor steps aside to let her baby be murdered?

The Order at large would likely have mixed opinions but the Weasleys for example would vocally condemn Lily and despise her for this.

Dumbledore would, I imagine, think much lesser of Lily and start saying things he says about Merope about how Lily just didn't love her son enough/wasn't a very strong woman. He wouldn't condemn her quite as much as Sirius or Molly but there'd be an undertone of "this happened because you are weak".

Would Severus Go After Lily and Tell Her He's Her Hero?

Severus is home free, you bet your ass he does.

Lily's probably out of the Order, James Potter his greatest enemy is dead, Sirius is out of the picture because of James's death, even the hellspawn Harry Potter is dead and out of the way.

They can now go back to exactly what they were and the Dark Lord did hold to his promise after all (and oh dear god Severus betrayed him behind his back, hope he doesn't find out about this).

I imagine Severus would try to reconnect and either:

lie about being a Death Eater entirely (probably won't work)

say he's realized the error of his ways, admit to giving the information to Dumbledore to save Lily's life, but he can't leave the Death Eaters because of the mark/he'll certainly be killed

Probably he goes with option 2 as he can't exactly pretend he never held his views or wasn't a Death Eater at all and he firmly believes that he took this huge risk, saved her life, and he's completely redeemed now.

Would This Be a Better AU for the Wizarding World and Lily?

Well.

Lily's son and husband died horribly, she's haunted by survivor's guilt forever, all her friends hate her and she's completely isolated, Snape is back on her doorstep believing she should be grateful to him for his actions and he deserves instant forgiveness, and the Dark Lord is still alive and well, has the future minister's son in his pocket, has infiltrated the government completely, and can take over any time he pleases with one out of two prophecy children dead (and Neville... probably doesn't last long after this).

So.

No.

It's better for 0 people.

It's actually much worse for everyone except Tom.

Tom is enjoying not being a wraith in Quirrel's head, thank you very much.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #lily evans #severus snape #anti severus snape #sirius black #anti sirius black #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #the order of the phoenix #anti the order of the phoenix #meta #headcanon #opinion

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lyrablack1883 · 4 months

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Ignorance is Bliss

——

When the first letter arrived, Sirius didn’t even bother to read it, he recognized his mother’s cursive writing and cast incendio calmly. James watched as it happened. “Are you sure you don’t need to read it?” He asked. “No, must be the same old pure blood shit” Sirius answered.

However, the letter keep coming. It arrived daily for a whole month. And for every letter, Sirius burned it. And then one morning, it just stopped completely out of blue and he found his mother waiting outside his flat not long after. He didn’t open the door for her, instead it was James, who calmly said “Sirius’s not here”.

Her mother expression didn’t change. “I see, please tell him, I need to talk to him. It’s important. Please.. give this letter to him, make sure he read it” her mother then left as quietly as she came. He never heard his mother beg a favor to someone before. When she’s gone out of sight. James asked him “do you want to read it?”. “No” he answered confidently.

The letters finally stopped and Sirius continued his life. He was happy. Being free gives him happiness.

But then the war happened, and he lost.

He trusted the wrong the person and now he carried James’s blood on his hands. And thus the madness claimed him as it did to his predecessor.

12 years he spent grieving his friends’s death and when he’s free once again. He vowed to make things right. He then met Harry and reunited with an old friend. And we all know how the story went.

He then went back home.

His first thought was, would his mother welcomed him?

When he set foot to his ancestral home. It was eerie silence that welcomed him instead. And then kreacher appeared and said “kreacher, welcome the heir of the noble and most ancient house of black home”

and Sirius laughed, he laughed so loud, the echo spread to the whole house. And the house cried for him.

When his laughter died, he eyed the portrait that’s now staring at him. that’s when he realized his mother had passed away. “Mo..” he hesitated. “hello walburga” he then said.

The portrait now looked enraged “who do you think you are to call me by my name, you blood traitor!”. Sirius smiled at the answer and noting to himself that his mother never changed after all.

Being trapped once again in that house reminded him so much of his childhood, his mother’s voice and the poison that was laced to it.

He asked kreacher when his mother died?. Kreacher merely guided him to the drawing room. There, he saw his name now scorched in black. He traced his finger to follow the branch and find his mother easily. “1985” he muttered to himself. He waited for that wave of grief to hit him but it didn’t happened.

He then realized there’s an end to regulus’s date. “1979” why? He thought to himself

The elf beside him cried loudly “poor mistress, poor master regulus, kreacher had failed them, kreacher had failed them”. He banged his head over and over again to the floor.

Sirius tried to remember the last time he saw regulus. He tried to distinguish his face, the prideful tone of his speech, the silver of his eyes they both share from his memory. He remembered It was winter after he graduated, the last time he saw him alive.

He saw them from afar. Mother and his perfect son, hand in hand smiling in diagon alley picking presents for Christmas. The linked hands, the doting in her mother voice when she speaks to her son. The smile he longed to be directed to him.And Sirius remembered the taste of blood that filled his mouth, the painful bite he took to stop himself from crying. The jealousy, bitterness and heartbreak that followed it. How he flee from that scene, refuse to let it burn into his memories.

He remembered the way he cried into James’s arm muttering to himself “why couldn’t she love me?” He said between tears. And James would gently stroke his back and calmed him. “I love you” James would whispered to his ear again and again.

But then James died because of him and he lost his home. Now he’s back again, trapped in this wretched house.

“Foolish brother” he couldn’t help himself from saying that, and kreacher jumped on him. “don’t insult master regulus! Take it back! Take it back! Master regulus is not foolish! He’s kind to kreacher! Master regulus is kreacher’s master!” He screamed. “Master regulus is not a blood a traitor like you!” and Sirius saw red. He pushed away the damned elf not caring it hurt the elf. And went to his room.

He couldn’t cry, there was no tears left he can spare. All of them had been absorbed by the cold stones of Azkaban.

After that incident, Kreacher didn’t stop. Unlike the letters he could burn easily, he had to endured himself hearing Kreacher comparing him with his mother and regulus. “Mistress wouldn’t- master regulus wouldn’t-“ and Sirius would screamed “I’m not them!”

When exhaustion claimed him. he ordered kreacher to never speak of their name ever again. And the whole house went into silence.

For months he tried to fix himself. He didn’t know how.

So he distract himself with the Order, with Harry. Focusing on how he could make things better for him. things he didn’t managed to get from his mother, the hole it created, he filled it by giving it to Harry. He had time. He just had to be patient and then he would be free. He will have a home again.

and he made a plan

When the war is over, he would take Harry to see the world.

When the war is over , he would show him how to ride his motorcycle, like he showed James.

When the war is over, he would tell him the many ‘conquests’ he shared with James.

When the war is over, he would tell him, how loved he is everyday

But when the war finally ended, he didn’t even get to see it.

Sirius died knowing he did the right thing, he died with James’s face smiling at him. He died a painless death, and he smiled through it, knowing he protected the most precious thing he ever had in his life.

He died, however without knowing some things.

He died, without knowing that the letters he burned in 1979, was an invitation to his brother’s funeral. of how regulus had died and how his body was never found. Of how walburga delayed the funeral for a whole month awaiting Sirius’s response beside empty casket.

He died, without noticing, the day his mother visited. It was right after the funeral. She was wearing black and her face stained with tears. The last letter she delivered in person was Regulus’s will, where he explained and left everything to him, of his request to protect kreacher and their family.

He died, without knowing that his mother never disinherited him. They never named regulus their heir, and that was one of the reason regulus took the dark mark despite their family wariness. To prove to their parents he was more than worthy at 16 to took his brother’s place as heir, the age Sirius ran away.

He died, without noticing that his bedroom stayed the same, with no single thing misplaced even after 17 years he left and without finding his mother’s countless letter addressed to him but never sent. Where it could easily be found under her pillow case but now covered in dust and of the portrait that cried his name in silence.

He died, without knowing that if he had asked “how” instead of “when”, kreacher would had no choice but to explained to him, that his mother died of heartbreak and that his brother died defecting the dark lord. And Of how regulus died a noble death the same way as Sirius did.

He died, without knowing kreacher is the main reason, regulus defected. that he failed regulus’s last request by hurting kreacher. Ironically, kreacher then became the reason Sirius himself died.

He died in ignorance and bliss.

#sirius black #james potter #regulus black #walburga black #microfiction #implied prongsfoot which ofc unrequited #attempt at writing

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thegirlwhowrites642 · 4 months

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Hi, please free to ignore( huge fan of your metas btw)

What are your thoughts on Peter pettigrew? In swm we saw him fanboying over james to being responsible for his death. Just because he was afraid or he never really loved his friends. Many people say James and Sirius treated him shitty thats why he betrayed. Some even say he was just a tag along. Please share your thoughts.

First of all, thank you!

(also, unless they are rude, I don't ignore any questions, it might just take me two years to answer)

Peter Pettigrew

My very controversial opinion on Peter is that I love him (as a character).

To me, Peter is one of those characters who represent how Rowling's clear lack of self-awareness as a person translates in her work into her being unable to recognize her strengths as a writer. The majority of the most interesting things she comes up with are not the ones she focuses on.

And that's the case for Peter Pettigrew, who might be the Marauder with the most interesting story.

It's way too easy to reduce him to a coward as the author seems to want you to believe. And even claiming he didn't love his friends is a flattening of his character.

You can have a tendency to be influenced by peer pressure all you want but you don't become an unregistered animagus to help someone if you don't love the friend you are doing that for and you don't have a bit of courage (especially considering how long the whole thing was and that he wasn't particularly talented). He risked extremely severe consequences on his body due to the possibility of the process going wrong and he risked Azkaban for being unregistered.

That's fundamentally the opposite behavior of the one he later has with the Potters.

I also think it's important to point out how Remus is not a close relative (father, son, brother) and how the help Peter provides is not essential to Remus' survival, it's emotional comfort. The lack of necessity of the animagus matter and the easily cancellable bond with Remus increase the braveness and love of Peter's act (in contrast for example with something like what Narcissa does with her son by lying to Voldemort).

I think Peter's story is the one of someone who lost his courage, not the one of a person who never had it.

Doesn't this also make it so much more delicious how his downfall is caused by the return of a glimpse of honor?

I do agree with the fact that in SWM, James and Sirius don't treat him particularly well, especially Sirius, but I don't think they are that aware of it, especially James. They are a bit crude, and they are arrogant. They are two bright posh 16yo guys in a boarding school in the 70s. I don't expect from them a particularly high level of sensitivity in how they talk to people, especially to someone they take for granted knows to be their friend. Sirius is probably more aware of it, but I believe James to be quite unaware of himself at this point in the timeline. This is before his maturation really kicks in, his whole interaction with Lily shows a lack of self-awareness in how he talks to people (we know Lily turns him into a bit of an idiot, the problem is that he doesn't seem to be aware of it). Sirius on the other hand seems a lot more self-aware than James. A lot of people are not going to like what I'm about to say but: James is canonically a better person than Sirius.

And yet, it is abundantly clear that both James and Sirius love Peter.

James gives into Peter's hands his own life and the ones of his wife and son. Sirius gives in Peter's hands the lives of the family he chose.

In the Shrieking Shack, under all the pain Sirius has for the death of James and Lily, it is evident that there's also the pain that comes from the betrayal of a friend.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" - Chapter 19, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Lily herself is very attached to Peter, in her letter to Sirius, she calls him Wormy (how cute is that?). And, let's remember that she too puts her life and the ones of her husband and son in Peter's hands.

It's too easy to say Peter was just a tagalong, that they didn't love him. It incredibly diminishes the pain of his act.

I also would like to point out that Peter isn't stupid. He was a double agent, he managed to frame Sirius by using in his favor people’s low opinion of his skills (and Remus and Sirius' rocky relationship). James, Sirius, and Remus might have thought of themselves as smarter than Peter but I don't think they actually believed him to be stupid. Considering who the Marauders are, their knowing how good of a liar, and how cunning Peter could be, would be a perfect explanation of why they became friends in the first place.

Does this mean they all loved Peter but Peter only loved Remus out of his friends?

We can't really be sure of his feelings for Sirius, but the admiration he shows for James and the sense of guilt we know he has for his double agent activities don't really align with that image.

I think Peter's fear for his own life ended up winning over the love for his friends.

But why at this point? Why not at Hogwarts?

Something quite interesting is how Peter's father is the only parent of the Marauders who is never mentioned, not in the books, not in any additional material. Doesn't that align just so well with Peter always putting himself at the service of the most important male figure around? First James, and then after school, with the war going on, Voldemort.

Isn't it such a fitting image, Peter growing up without a father, with a too-cuddling mother whom he ends up resenting, faulting her for the absence of the father? It's so natural to paint him as a young man crushed by a sense of inadequacy towards an image of masculinity he idealizes but can't fulfill, supported by a society filled with a very toxic sense of masculinity and an absent father he can sew on any fantasy he wants.

When Peter was at Hogwarts, being friends with James, and being part of the Marauders, gave Peter a sense of security that allowed him to be brave enough to prioritize his love for his friends over himself.

Out in the real world, though, Voldemort is the dominant man and being positioned against the Dark Lord takes away the sense of security he had as a student. Both times Peter goes to Voldemort, he does it because he doesn't feel safe.

It's also abundantly clear how Peter's siding with Voldemort doesn't come from ideology. He becomes an animagus for Remus, he's a dear friend of Lily.

Peter dies because Voldemort doesn't trust him, and he is right in not trusting him. Somewhere in Peter, there's still the boy who risked his life for a friend.

Try to tell me this is not an interesting character.

He's still a coward overall, but a complex one.

Also, Peter Pettigrew is a clear victim of pretty privilege when it comes to the fandom. I'm ready to bet whatever you want that if he had been described as handsome the most popular ship with Sirius would be Sirus/Peter.

Actually, he didn't even have to be described as handsome, he just needed to not be described as ugly. Draco is described as having a pointy face and people have been lying to themselves claiming he's incredibly handsome for the last twenty-five years.

#peter pettigrew #marauders #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #lily evans #harry Potter

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greenerteacups · 26 days

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If there was one major plot element that you could change in the original canon what would it be?

The Marauders' deaths. With the exception of James, I don't think any of the Marauders die in a way that's narratively suitable — or, to be more particular, they die in a way suitable for a narrative I don't like very much. James is an acceptable (though, obviously, tragic) death to me because it completes his arc: he's an obnoxious, arrogant bully who grows into a selfless soldier on the side of the light, and lays down his life as a final gesture of abnegation. It's not Proust, but it's good, right? His death represents a symbolic triumph over Voldemort because it's something Voldemort would never do.

None of the others make the same kind of sense for their subplots. Sirius dies at the Ministry because Harry fucks up and lets his abandonment issues override his judgment, and while that's a compelling moment for Harry — whose hamartia is a trauma-forged combination of hot-headedness and desperate fear of losing people — it's not for Sirius. Sirius's problem in Book 5 is that he's emotionally stunted by his years of imprisonment and refuses to grow up, because he's clinging to the life he thinks — rightly — he should have gotten to have. This is made painfully clear in the Department of Mysteries, wherein some of his last words to Harry are "Nice one, James!" He refuses to treat Harry like the child he is, and he keeps acting like he's this fun-uncle type, blowing off rules and pissing off Mom (Molly), because that's the dynamic he should have had with Harry if Lily and James had lived. Sirius doesn't want to be Harry's guardian and role model. He wants a brother and a nephew, and he's trying to force Harry to be both, because he's all he has left of that family. His death doesn't tie any of those threads; they're left dangling. That's a valid narrative move — every death cuts a story short, and you can't give everybody an arc — but I loved Sirius. Giving Harry the "grieving loss of a parent" arc that was originally meant for Ron (Arthur was the original Big Death of the OOTP, in JKR's drafts) also means that Ron spends a lot of Book 6 without anything to do, whereas Harry goes through what's essentially a more intense version of the grieving-and-recovery arc he did after Cedric's death.

Remus, on the other hand, is just — first off, a Mess, I agree with so few of the choices made with Remus in the later books, but let's say he's deep in the trauma, the grieving, and whatever living among werewolves as a spy does for your mental health. So he gets into this will-they-won't-they with Tonks, gets married, tries to abandon pregnant wife, then goes back and gets to be with his wife and son for about half a year before dying, with said wife, in battle. Okay. So like:

I think the Remus Weirdness in Book 7 is actually an attempt to close a plot hole, which is that the Horcrux Hunt happens completely without adult supervision, despite the fact that there are lots of adults the Golden Trio could and should ask for help. Harry's insistence that he doesn't want to risk anyone's life except for Ron and Hermione's is, while understandable as a character move, utterly ridiculous, because the other Order members are risking their lives anyway. One of the biggest holes is Remus and Tonks, who are (a) both already targets for Voldemort because of who they are, and so have nothing to lose, but also (b) both care for Harry on a personal level, and would never accept his reasons for pushing them away. So Teddy Lupin is conceived in order to bench Tonks, who's safely out of commission while pregnant. But that leaves Remus, who probably in fact would have super complicated torn-loyalty feelings about the situation, and who is scarred and traumatized and probably has enough abandonment issues to try and walk out, but — in my view — never resolves any of those things. He doesn't suddenly realize that he loves Tonks and wants to be with her, or feel a sense of duty to his son; when Harry's justly furious at Remus abandoning his kid in Harry's name, Remus gets pissy about it and goes "well, if you don't want my help, fine," and leaves. Which is, again, fine, a character flaw, it's childish, he's allowed to be, and he is, in fact, similar to Sirius and James — but it left a bad taste in my mouth, because that's one of the last conversations we get with Remus, and it's such an impoverished vision of his bonds with others. It doesn't delve deeply into why he loves Tonks or Harry, or the substance of his conflict between them; like always with the Marauders, he just invokes James, and Harry throws James's name right back at him, and it ends there.

And then he dies, so that baby Teddy Lupin can be an orphan, and we can do a parallel to baby Harry Potter. Even though we don't see Teddy Lupin on the page ever, so we have no idea what that comparison means, or how their experiences compliment or contrast one another, or literally anything more substantive than the series beginning and ending on the same event. Which: great. Okay. To quote a Roger Ebert review that I think about, on average, once every thirty-six hours:

"J.K. Rowling has learned from better novels that authors sometimes create narrative parallels, but she has not learned why."

#greenteacup asks #sirius black #remus lupin

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atlasofearth · 11 days

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ttpd anthology opinions except i have no thoughts that aren’t the marauders

the black dog: i expected it to give sirius vibes but this is way too much??? this is the most sirius song ive ever heard???

imgonnagetyouback: DORLENE’S SONG OH MY GOD. ITS THEIR SONG?????

the albatross: marlene’s anthem…. this is her song…. what the eff word….. i’m obsessed this might be my third fav song on the album

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: regulus … this song is so him oh my god i can’t do this

how did it end? : “you were blind to unforeseen circumstances” this song is soo canon compliant jegulus… i was writing a loml inspired one short but now i need to write one inspired by this 😶😶

so high school: the guitar 😻 this song is sooo sirius feeling like he could put his walls down around his friends (especially remus!!!!!!) im going insane!!! sirius feels so high school around remus guys

i hate it here : this song is so me… this song is mine guys what the fuck (also very regulus but.. it’s more me idc) i, too, hate it here and escape to secret gardens that i read about in books as a child in my mind and everyone wants the key but there’s only mine…

thank you aimee: IS THIS NOT LILY AND PETUNIAS RELATIONSHIP???? OH MY GOD????

i look in peoples windows: i love the instrumental omfg. i’m getting MAJOR death by a thousand cuts vibes?? she’s a genius?? this song is SO marylily. lily hoping she could find mary even after she left because she didn’t wanna fight “is it right to not know me” oh my god.

the prophecy: this is my number one song. i have many things to say. 1- so harry??? obviously. it’s literally his song. 2- remus WISHING he wasn’t a werewolf, this is his song. 3- lily yearning for peace for her son, wishing he wasn’t destined to live a terrible life. i feel so much guys. 4- also this song is so me. i relate so much, like so so much….

cassandra: oh this is sirius’ song.. he thought he was free after finally escaping grimmauld place, and thensuddenly james died and he’s in azkaban. omg wait but also regulus discovering the horcrux and dying before he had the chance to even find out there were others. “i was onto something, they all said nothing”

peter: IS THIS SONG NOT MARLENE/JAMES BEGGING FOR THEIR LIVES AFTER FINDING OUT PETER WAS THE TRAITOR RIGHT BEFORE THEY DIED???? she’s never beating the mskingbean allegations oh my god

the bolter: i don’t know why this song gives me INTENSE narcissa vibes. this is her song imo idk

robin: this is the black family anthem. this is their song, collectively

FINAL SONG, the manuscript: no marauders thoughts bc i related to this song too much and started crying! 😂

overall; i love these songs so much. i like this collection of songs more than the original ttpd (which says something bc that was AMAZING) top song is a definitely the prophecy

#marauders #james potter #regulus black #barty crouch jr #sirius black #evan rosier #marauders era #dorcas meadowes #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #anthology #ttpd anthology

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lemongrass77777 · 4 months

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I am haunted by James Potter and Sirius Black’s relationship.

They were partners in crimes.

James took Sirius in when he had no one.

They loved each other more than anyone else in their lives but James had too much internalised homophobia to realise it.

They were soulmates.

Sirius was the best man when James got married to Lily and wasn’t angry about it, but happy, because as long as James was happy than nothing else mattered.

Sirius was the godson of James and Lily’s son, Harry.

Sirius convinced James and Lily to make Peter the secret keeper, and him a decoy, to keep James and his family safe, even if it killed him.

When they died he tried to take Harry and raise him as his own, but had to be stopped.

He tried to avenge James, but was sent to Azkaban for a crime he didn’t commit.

He only broke out when he found out Harry was in danger.

He spent the last few years of his life doing everything he could to protect Harry.

Sirius died.

They never got their happy ending.

But, Harry named his firstborn child after both of them, so that even in death they’d be together.

#harry potter #sirius black #james potter #prongsfoot #bambibelle #marauders era #post

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lifeandlies-of-regulusblack · 7 months

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When the dust in the air takes form as the ghosts of your own past.

The rooms at 12 Grimmauld Place hold ghosts and memories of the past.

Regulus' room was never occupied or offered up to Order members, not while Sirius was staying at 12 Grimmauld Place. It wasn't just because of Sirius, Kreacher was also making sure no one step foot inside his room when the Order was busy and frequently staying there.

They never explicitly address it, but they have a silent agreement.

I headcanon Regulus visiting Sirius' room from time to time just to feel like he's with Sirius again. Even though they weren't talking in the end, it still felt like he was going through it all with someone. That he wasn't so completely alone. Just hits differently now, being stuck with his parent's violence — the permanence of it.

Sirius' room is where he probably found a box of cigarettes Sirius left. Maybe he tries it the first time in the secrecy of his brother's room. And he hates that he's putting known, toxic muggle smoking sticks in his mouth, tasting the smoke, the menthol, the bitterness that latches on to the back of his mouth — just to feel like he can have something with his brother. He knows he's being pathetic. Look at him. He's choking on smoke because he doesn't know what he's doing, but Sirius kept doing it all the time when their parents weren't home, he just wants to feel close to him again. He doesn't look like an esteemed Black heir, now, does he?

CUE SIRIUS YEARS AFTER. Visiting reg's room from time to time. Looking at the pictures and newspaper clippings of Voldemort. He's still angry but time's done what it always does and dulls its edges. Of course, he still loves his brother. He never stopped loving him.

He's never stopped hating the person he became either, but it feels different now. It's more grief and weariness, than the hurt and burning it used to make him feel.

Given everything he's been through. Everything he's seen and witnessed people do. He sees how much of a kid Regulus was. Like he was, at the height of it all. His brother was never violent, he was only stupid, so stupid, and loyal to a fault. He was stubborn. Immovable. Sirius never managed to change his mind on things. Yet he also never flourished in Bellatrix's show of cruelty. Regulus loved their parents but loathed their violence.

His brother was just a kid.

Looking at how young Harry and his friends are, looking at Narcissa's son — he can't help but feel rage because the kids deserve better lives. He's watching it happen all over again. Why doesn't anyone see how the children are reliving their worst years?

Regulus never ended up being right after all. In all his insistence that Sirius was the one who was wrong, that their parents weren't truly evil, that purebloods where different from the rest of wizarding society.

But surrounded in a tomb of his brother's belongings, surrounded by what remains of his memory, faced with reminders of how young he was when he died when Sirius, himself, is old enough to father James's child (Regulus too, he thinks brokenly) — he wishes. He yearns. To go back in time and take his brother away with him. To do things differently. To not let his parents do what they did to them. He wants to go back and tell his brother to shut the fuck up, that he doesn't fucking care, and he's coming with him.

To show Regulus why he's wrong. Why their parents are wrong. Instead of only ever screaming back. Because Sirius was shown, more than he was told. He only realizes this now, with years on his back.

They were only kids.

He wants nothing more than to take Regulus' hand and run towards a life that should have been given to them. To run, until all the pain falls off from their shoulders, happy just like they were, a long time ago.

#regulus black #sirius black #the black brothers #sirius and regulus #marauders era #black brothers #regulus headcanon #sirius headcanon #hp marauders #dead gay wiards #marauders fanfiction #marauders headcanon #slytherin skittles #slytherin boys #12 grimmauld place #the noble and most ancient house of black #regulus fanfiction #sirius fanfiction #my writing

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ellecdc · 3 months

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The Drink Snob (part 2)

Mafia AU!Remus Lupin x fem!reader - 4.5k

p1 // p2 // p3 // p4

CW: Brief description of blood, mention of crimes, past kidnapping, family dynamics, mention past death of a parent, pressure from friends to date, use of Y/N

Remus tried to ignore the snickering coming from the two men at the kitchen table as he scrubbed the blood from his hands, using the brush to get under his nails.

“It’s not even that funny in theory, it’s just that it’s so un-Moony like that makes it funny.” James giggled, actually giggled, like a schoolgirl. Remus could kill him.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Lily’s voice, authoritative and deep compared to James’ snickering, jumped in. “You’re telling me the plan was almost foiled because Remus got distracted flirting with a girl at the bar?”

“Not only was the plan nearly foiled, Red,” Sirius offered between fits of laughter, “the dumb bloke nearly died.”

“I didn’t nearly die.” Remus spat under his breath.

“His drink was spiked whilst he was busy ogling the bird – she had to stop him from taking a swig!” James completed, howling in laughter.

Lily brought her hand up to her mouth in an ill attempt to hide her amusement as she turned her gaze to the guilty man. “Oh, Remus.”

“We caught the bastard, didn’t we?” He barked, swatting James and Sirius on the back of their heads as he took a place at the kitchen table beside Harry. “Besides, James, you’re not supposed to refer to women as birds.” Remus enunciated, causing James to wince as he correctly presumed the whack of a tea towel was headed his way from his wife.

“Right you are, Remus. This is why you’re my favourite.” She said, winking at him. The other two men scoffed in mock outrage.

“But he almost blew the whole stake out!” James cried at the same time as Sirius countered with “I nearly blow all our missions because of my flirting, why am I not your favourite?”

Lily rolled her eyes as a third voice popped up.

“You’re no one’s favourite Sirius, I can’t believe you still haven’t figured that out.” Regulus muttered as he placed a kiss to Lily’s head before moving to the table to place a matching one on James and Harry’s.

Sirius scoffed, “and no kiss either. I see how it is.” He said as he crossed his arms.

“Awe, Pads! If you wanted kisses, you only had to ask!” James hollered as he threw himself at his best friend and left loud, smacking kisses across his face.

“Ew! Get off of me! This is like incest!” Sirius screeched.

Regulus rolled his eyes and turned to Remus. “Wanting a kiss from his actual brother is fine but his friend giving him a kiss is incest?”

“Stop trying to figure Sirius out, Reg, there’s no logic.” Remus countered with a smile.

Remus was glad, really, that life turned out the way it had for him. He wasn’t always, mind you; having been thrown into the world of underground crime at an early age after his father, with hopes for a political career, accidentally offended a well-known crime lord in Southern UK. In retaliation, Remus had been abducted and initiated into their mob at only twelve years old and was only reunited with his father and mother at fifteen once his dad had turned to crime after the police claimed there was ‘nothing they could do’ to bring their son back home.

Then, when he was 17, he met James and Sirius. They both came from money, and both had very different experiences as a result. James was somewhat spoilt but extremely loving and eager to spread the wealth. Sirius, on the other hand, had pushed back against his birth family as hard as he could before he finally left to stay with the Potter’s full time.

His younger brother, Reg, followed a few years later, and they’ve been with James and his parents ever since. James met Lily studying in University; Reg became enamoured with her just as quickly, though much more quietly than James had, and the rest, as they say, is history.

The options for Remus’ family were slim to none after moving from Wales to London in order for him to attend school. University had not been in the plans for him as the Lupin family came from almost nothing, but they had earned enough in the mob to secure him a spot anyhow. They had hoped to leave the lifestyle behind them, but their resume was lacking after spending years in crime. Eventually, it was Remus’ mother, Hope Lupin, who found Effie which introduced Remus and his father into the Potter Agency.

A legal corporation with less than legal methods; they liked to believe they were some of the good guys.

The term ‘good’ is used lightly, of course.

There’s crime, theft, assault, torture, and sometimes even death, but they don’t do it for the money or notoriety – not really.

Potter & Son’s Corporations acts as the authority when the police lose control of the situation. So much of the crime that takes place is through drugs and laundering – the kinds of things that the police are more than happy to turn a blind eye to so long as they’re being paid.

But when police are being paid off, other crimes – such as trafficking – start happening, and the police often find that their hands are “tied”.

So, Potter & Son’s deal with it, and it helps.

At least that’s what Remus tells himself.

He understood why Sirius and James stayed. Neither had a choice really, much like himself, but Sirius made the choice of the lesser of two evils – chaotic good (Potter's) versus chaotic evil (The Black family). As for James; this was his family business. He was Potter & Son before it became Son’s to accommodate Sirius, and later Reg and finally Remus. This was James’ legacy, and he now had a wife, a boyfriend and a son to continue protecting, and he did that by staying.

Remus stayed because, well, it’s all there really is for him. Any background-check a potential employer could run on him would not only take him out of the running so fast, but they’d also likely even report him. His mom and dad had their part – running one of the many restaurants in the city that acted as the front for Potter & Son’s.

But Remus wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Not even the stranger – flustered, music theory, Disney quoting, sailor level swearing stranger that singlehandedly nearly killed him and then saved him within the span of two hours.

She had been overwhelmingly distracting, and James was right; Remus was usually the one at attention always. He never got distracted on missions – that’s why he took the position in the bar to wait on the dirty fuck. James is overly friendly and likely to get distracted by any Tom, Dick or Nancy that walked through the door – and God forbid there’s a pub cat present. Sirius can’t stop flirting with anything with a heartbeat for more than a second, and he stands out a little too much anyway due to his last name.

Hence, Remus goes in.

Only to be utterly enchanted by a foreign PhD student whose nose was cold bitten red and her hair thoroughly crumpled from her obvious pulling. Remus tried to ignore her; he really did. He even thought he did a pretty good job when her damned pencil skirt rode up and exposed more of her tight-clad thighs as she sat on the barstool. He even ignored the way she played with her bottom lip between her thumb and index finger as she waited for the bartender to notice her.

But then she had to go and order a fucking negroni alongside a pint of beer.

If she hadn’t looked like she tasted so sweet, Remus is sure he would have gagged outloud.

And really, what is a proper Welsh bloke like him ought to do when he sees a crime against alcohol take place before his very eyes? By-stander he is not, good sir.

But it didn’t matter. It had been too close. It was foolish. And dangerous. For both of them.

He may not be able to save her from Gilderoy Lockhart, but he could save her from this.

Regulus decided this was the perfect time to interrupt Remus’ inner ramblings. “So, when are you seeing her next?”

He stared at him dumbly. “Excuse me?”

“The girl, when are you seeing her next?” He clarified as he popped a cracker into his mouth.

“Come on, Moony, don’t tell me you didn’t close the deal!” Sirius commented from across the table.

“What? I- no. No, there was no deal to be closed, you prat.” Remus muttered for Sirius’ benefit. “It wasn’t like that.”

“‘It wasn’t like that’ he says, like he wasn’t wrapped around her little finger for two hours as she waxed poetic about the architecture of Manchester.” James sing songed.

“What” Remus sputtered, “she did not talk about Manchester architecture, James.”

“But you were wrapped around her finger?”

“Not that either!” He shouted. “Enough, it wasn’t like that, I’m not seeing her again. End of discussion.”

“Mm, kay, counter point: discussion not ended. What do you mean you’re not seeing her again?” Lily interjected.

“I mean exactly that – I’m not seeing her again.”

“Rem,” Lily started softly, and he groaned knowing she was about to go all mama-bird on him. “When’s the last time you fancied someone like that? You’ve guffawed at everyone I’ve ever tried to set you up with.”

“Because they were all dull.” Remus muttered apparently not quietly enough as he was smacked up the back of his head.

“And you’ve never found yourself distracted on a job before. That has to mean something, right? Why not give it a shot?” She asked gently.

Remus chose to ignore the second part of her sentence altogether for the benefit of everyone. “Exactly, I’ve never been distracted on a job before. Something is clearly wrong with me, I think maybe we should all be a little bit more worried about that, hm?”

Everyone rolled their eyes and turned back to their various tasks. For James, that meant holding a raspberry competition with his infant son, Reg and Sirius began rough housing which quickly turned into an actual knife fight, and Lily back to restocking the medicine cabinet.

It was one job – I’m fine. I’ll likely never see her again. Remus thought to himself.

He tried not to let that thought upset him.

He failed.

Your encounter with The Man ™ as you’d started calling him in your head continued to bother you throughout the week. You thought you had been doing a pretty decent job keeping it from your thoughts: you guest lectured with no hiccups, your playing didn’t seem to be impacted and you kept up in orchestra well, and you even managed a facetime with your best friend Elle back home.

Apparently zoning out in the middle of grading with your pen in your mouth was what finally gave you away.

“Miss. L/N?” Minerva called.

You quickly sat up straight. “Hm? I’m so sorry Professor, I-”

She waved you off with a kind smile. “My dear, I’ve told you to call me Minerva – as a PhD student, you’re more like my colleague than you are my student. I only meant to ask what has you so distracted. Are the first-year level quizzes on the basics of composition not riveting enough for you?” She asked gently, though her tone was often lost in her thick, stern sounding Scottish accent.

“Sorry Pro- I mean, Minerva.” You caught yourself at her stern look. “I was just thinking that no one would know if I was missing.”

Minerva dropped her pen and sat straight.

“My dear, what has you concerned. Has something-” she began to ask, but you cut her off.

“No, no. I’m fine, I just realized – if I go to a pub after school one day and something happens, no one will know to look for me. There’s no one at my apartment waiting for me at the end of the day, the landlord wouldn’t care until the end of the month when my rent was late, and even then, it’d be a while before she did anything about that. Students come and go from your life every day – if I wasn’t available to help grading or lecturing, you’d ask someone else. And that would be it. My friends back home would only realize I hadn’t been answering messages and would assume I’ve been busy.”

You looked up from the carpet where you had been zoned out.

“And I don’t say any of that for sympathy. I just mean, well, someone ought to know – you know?”

Minerva considered your words before nodding slowly.

“I’d notice. The second I had to settle for Mr. Lockhart’s subpar grading or lecturing.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the matriarch.

“Put me down as your emergency contact.” She added.

“I’m sorry?”

“With the school. And at your apartment. In your phone too if you can. Put me as your emergency contact. I’ll know then if anything happens.” She stated plainly as if she hadn’t just offered you an actual lifeline in Europe when you were thousands of kilometers from anyone who gave a damn about you.

“Thank you, Minerva.” You said softly.

The corner of her mouth quirked up, but she never moved her gaze from her papers.

“You’re very welcome, Y/N.”

You sat in your apartment – or you supposed you should call it a flat, you were in England after all – and watched traffic outside of the window while you replayed your conversation with Elle.

“I’m just worried about you is all.” She said.

You rolled your eyes as you held the phone between your ear and shoulder and loaded the washing machine.

“Why?”

“Why? Because! You’re all alone out there in a tiny apartment in a big city where you don’t know anyone!”

“Elle, I don’t see how that’s any different than what I had been doing last year. I did the exact same thing in New York, and you didn’t seem this concerned then.” You chided.

“Well-” she started. “Well, that was different.”

“How?”

“Because you were at least on the same continent as me. It was maybe a three-hour flight versus an eight. What else do you want me to say, Y/N?”

You sighed and threw your head back.

“I don’t want you to say anything Elle, I just don’t understand why we’re having this conversation.”

“It’s been almost six months.”

You stopped and stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. The six-month anniversary of your mom’s death was next week; you were well aware of that. It showed on your body, too, and you were glad Elle couldn’t see you now. You looked pale; your hair was dirty and piled messily on top of your head in a bun, though some locks were doing their damnedest to break free. Your clothes seemed to hang off your body in a way that hadn’t before as well; you made a mental note to figure that out at some point.

“What about it?” You muttered, leaving the offending mirror behind you, and moving through your apartment (flat).

“Y/N/N, I just don’t think it’s healthy to be sitting in that apartment all alone. I mean, I know you haven’t been keeping in as much touch with the others, which is fair,” She emphasized the end as you began to defend yourself. “They don’t understand what it’s like to lose a parent or the intricacies of grad school, but still, it’s been noticed. And you haven’t dated since, what, Brian?”

“Brandon.” You corrected bitterly.

“Exactly, and how many years has that been?”

You moved your reading glasses to the top of your head and scrubbed your hand down your face. You loved Elle, you really did. But she was the kind of person to throw herself at life without self-reflection and that just wasn’t your style. She also lived by the motto that we were put on this earth to find our “other half”, and that all of lifes problems can be solved by finding someone to spend it with, which was another thing you just couldn’t get behind.

So, yes, it had been six years since your last relationship, and seeing as you weren’t the type to date around, you’d been single the entire time.

But you’ve been happy.

You and your mom travelled a bit when she was still healthy. You attended Julliard to complete your master’s in music and spent time living in New York City. You played with the New York Philharmonic and in orchestra halls across North America. You went to the fucking Tony awards (as a seat filler, mind you, but still)!

“I just worry, Y/N. I mean, next thing I know, you’ll be telling me you’ve gotten yourself a cat or two!” She jested.

Your gaze shot to Huckleberry, the long-haired tom-cat you recently rescued from the local humane society, who was currently curled up on a throw blanket on your couch which you had yet to inform Elle about. You figured it could probably wait until your next chat with her.

“Don’t worry about me too much, Elle.” You sighed as you gave the feline a pat across the head.

“Someone has to.”

You fought the urge to groan – you knew she wasn’t trying, but this conversation was turning out to be more painful than you needed right now. The last thing you needed to be reminded of was how completely alone you were on this planet. If not for Elle and a few of your other mutual friends, you’d literally have Huckleberry and Minerva for company. And, God forbid, Gilderoy.

“I’ll talk to you later Elle.”

“Okay Y/N/N, be safe. Love you!”

“Love you.” You added before you hung up.

Part of you wondered if she was right about some things. Aren’t you meant to be meeting people? Making friends? That’s what people do when they relocate, right?

You looked at your phone which sat on the couch behind you. It never lights up; no one’s looking for you.

You didn’t much fancy downloading an app – it felt phony, like you were trying to sell yourself to someone. How else did people meet other people these days though?

School? Already there. Work?

Work.

I could get a job.

You’ve been comfortable. Between funding from school and your mother’s life insurance, you hadn’t been too concerned for money though you had been living somewhat frugally. You supposed it wouldn’t hurt to have some pocket money, and maybe make a dent in your never-ending student loans.

I'll get a job then.

You’ve served at bars in Toronto and New York throughout school and worked as a waitress at different diners. Most people didn’t like working the service industry, but you didn’t much mind it; in cities that large, people are always in a hurry to get to somewhere else and don’t often stay long enough to really gather your interest.

It’d be even better if I could find a job that involved music.

Part of you still felt like an imposter.

You’re working on your PhD, you studied music at Julliard, and played in world-renowned orchestras, but you still felt like you had no right holding a seat in the industry.

Fucking Gilderoy wasn’t helping that either. You thought darkly.

“Right,” You told yourself aloud. “One thing at a time.”

And you looked up job opportunities online.

The smell of garlic permeated Remus’ senses as he and Sirius stepped into his parent’s restaurant.

Remus worked for a damn mob, yet somehow, his white-Welsh parents operating an Italian restaurant left him feeling dirty – though, his Da was always quick to state he was 37% Italian on his mother’s side, whatever that meant.

He followed the sound of cursing and found his mum in her office.

“Oi, mum, who has you so wound up? I want names and addresses.” Sirius said as he plopped himself down onto one of the chairs opposite of Hope Lupin’s desk and kicked his Doc Marten clad feet up onto it.

“Sirius, I love you, but it’ll be your name and address I give out if you don’t get your sodding feet of my desk.” Hope stated sweetly without looking up from the papers on her desk. “Hi, cariad’s.”

“Hey mum, what’re you working on?” Remus replied as he sat (properly) in the chair beside Sirius.

She sighed and turned to look at the two boys. “Well, you remember the issues we were having with our new hire last week?”

Sirius looked up from his phone at this. “Hot Stephanie?”

Hope rolled her eyes, “Yes, Stephanie. Well, we had to let her go.”

“Awe mum, I’m sorry. Do you need a hand around here until you find more help?” Remus asked quickly.

Hope turned a soft smile in her son’s direction, her green eyes crinkling in the corners. “As much as I’d love having you around, cariad, I’m still recovering from you and James helping out last summer.”

Remus grimaced while Sirius barked a laugh. He and James had their strengths – but working the service industry apparently wasn’t one of them.

“Besides, I’ve got a few good candidates here I think.” She said and gestured to a pile of CVs on her desk. “This lass sounds promising.”

“Yes, mummykins! Hire another hottie for us.” Sirius cheered.

“That’s enough out of you.” Hope chided as she swatted him with her stack of resumes. “She’s got plenty of experience in restaurants and bars, and she may even be able to offer live music for us!”

“That’s sweet of you Hope, giving jobs to starving artists.” Sirius said looking back at his phone.

“She did look a little peaky.” Hope admitted, “But I’m sure that’s on account of her recent move. She’s American.”

“What?” Remus snapped.

His mum hummed. “Yup, she went to Julliard, served as a bartender and server in Toronto and New York pubs. She should work out really well!”

“Let me see this.” Remus muttered, snatching the CV unceremoniously from my mother’s hands.

Y/N L/N. University of Toronto / The Julliard School / Royal College of Music. Guest lecturer, experience in classical and contemporary performance and composition, teacher’s assistant, bartender, and server. The names of the various restaurants and bars you worked at were listed but they blurred in his vision.

“What has gotten into you, cariad.” Hope gently chided as she took the CV back from his hands.

“What did she look like?” Remus spat.

“Pardon me?”

Remus described you; he described your skin tone – a match. Your eyes? A match. Your hair colour and length? A match.

“Shorter?”

Hope rolled her eyes. “Not everyone can be as tall as you and your father, Remus.”

“Mum, answer the question.”

She scoffed. “Yes, I suppose she was a little short.”

“You can’t hire her.”

“Excuse me?” She asked incredulously.

“Oh my God.” Sirius finally interjected, taking the CV from Hope’s hands. “Is this The Girl?”

“The girl?” She asked.

Remus snatched the CV back out of Sirius’ hands and placed it back in the pile onto his mum’s desk.

“Who’s The Girl?” Hope asked, but it was obvious she was asking Sirius.

“Oh, you should have seen it, Mum. We were on a stake out for one of McCormick’s crew at The Drunken Sailor, and Remus got all caught up chatting this pretty little lady at the bar. He didn’t even notice-”

“I didn’t even notice that the bloke had come in until he went to leave.” Remus interrupted, not wanting to worry his mum by telling her how close he came to dying.

“Right...” Sirius continued, squinting his eyes at Remus. “Anyways, looks like you found The Girl who distracted our darling Remus here.”

Hope’s gaze was full of mirth as she turned to look at her son.

“So, you meet my dream employee at a bar one night and don’t even introduce me?”

“Mum, it wasn’t like that.” Remus whined, thoroughly annoyed by this conversation.

“Fine, but I’m sorry cariad, she’s the only one who applied who was worth my time, in fact, she’s likely overqualified. I’m arranging an interview.”

Remus sighed in defeat. So much for keeping her out of this mess.

Continue to part three here 🥃

#marauders era #marauders au #reader insert #marauders fanfiction #marauders x reader #remus lupin x reader #self insert #remus lupin x you #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin fanfiction #background jegulily #jegulily #Sirius black being a little shit #mafia au #remus x reader #remus lupin fic

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ttulipwritezz · 2 months

Text

King Of My Heart (Body And Soul)~ R. Lupin.

Chapter 3 - Helpless

Ootp! Remus Lupin x Sirius's sister!Reader

Synopsis: When James and Lily died, and your brother was sent to Azkaban, Remus was the only person you had left. Until he left too. What happens when he returns after the events of Sirius's escape, only to find out you have a son? A son that's his.

WC: 2.2 k

Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, kiss(es), might be ooc idk, child (?), fem reader, italics are flashbacks and thoughts ( idk), love (ew), Sirius is back, mentions of torture, abuse, walburga black, abandonment, fear of feeling helpless, screaming ig, abandonment [ look at series masterlist for all content warnings]

A/n: I am actually so, so proud of this chapter. It's slightly longer than the others and a little more angsty. LOTS of conflicting feelings. Remus is kind of an ass, but no one's perfect :) But I’ll have it be less sad in the next few chapters following ch 4. I think? Thanks for reading and please reblog and/or comment. If you like this :) likes don't do much on tumblr <3

Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist, Navigation

With a furrow of his brows, Remus glanced towards Sirius when the two of you made your way to the dining hall for the order meeting.

If Sirius noticed, he didn’t say anything. Molly ushered the children out of the hall and Kingsley started the meeting.

They began with new information and ended with assigned missions. With your absence from the order for so long, you seemed to be the least informed amongst them all. So far you knew that Kingsley worked for the ministry and was secretly helping lead the order under Dumbledore's guidance.

And that there was an incredibly intelligent woman at the end of the table. Nymphadora Tonks. Don’t call her that though.

The name Tonks was awfully familiar to you. Until it clicked. She was your niece! Your cousin’s daughter.

Oh how she’d grown up.

Along with this, you got to know about Peter’s betrayal and how he had framed your brother. Peter… You really did treasure his friendship at one point. You grieved him just as you had the others. To know that he was a traitor and sent your brother to Azkaban and was partially responsible for your husband's leaving, left you seething, to say the least.

You wanted to crush that thick skull of his with your bare hands.

Noticing your discomfort, Sirius put a hand over yours, so as to say…you’re okay.

“you’re okay. You’re okay” At this point you weren’t sure whether Sirius’s words were meant to convince you or convince himself. His chest rising and falling rapidly to accommodate his frantic state.

Walburga’s yelling could be heard from the other room.

“YOU DISGRACE! YOU IMBECILE! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!” Her yelling did little to calm your trembling and even littler to quiet your sobs.

You do not know what began another one of her scoldings, you don’t remember what you’d done to be on its receiving end yet again. All you knew is that Sirius was punished with the cruciatus curse and you were going to be next. Despite his state, all Sirius thought about was you. How his baby sister was hurt, scared and in so much pain.

That night Sirius left, with you, nothing but his wand and jacket hung about his arm as he led a trembling you out of the house and ran.

That night Sirius ran, he ran till his legs burned. His calves ached and his chest heaved. He ran and ran and ran. He ran to the only place he could think of. He ran.

“Don’t you dare come back! You disgrace to the Black Family name!” Walburg’s words were still ringing in his ears by the time he made it to potter manor, and you weren’t in a much better state yourself.

As soon as the door opened to the frantic knocking, it seemed as though all the adrenaline left Sirius's body and he collapsed right into James's arms. You stood there, eyes stinging, heavy with exhaustion. That was when you truly felt helpless.

The next morning, you awoke to voices. Not the ones in your head, ones from outside. With little energy you opened up your eyes. The brightness of the morning sun blinded you for a moment, and that suffocating feeling came back.

You sat up so fast that your head started to spin. Your eyes were wide and your breathing erratic.

As you were ready to look around your surroundings, ready to see exactly where Walburga had put you again, a hand came into your field of vision. A bruised hand, ready to help.

Sirius gently hovered his hands over your cheek, careful as to not touch you. His eyes held the utmost kindness and compassion. He had woken up from one too many nightmares himself.

“Y/n?” His voice was unsure yet it provided you with the comfort you seeked at the moment.

Your shoulders relaxed and you Jumped forward to embrace him. You were safe, you were okay.

Once most of the order members left, You began to count just how many people will be staying at grimmauld place for the time being.

You had a place further away from this merlin forsaken house. That felt like home. This didn't

You and Regulus had only shown up a couple days ago to tidy up and be prepared. Technically, you owned it, and there was nothing your mother’s portrait that hung in the second floor corridor could do about it. She was dead.

The Weasleys, Harry, Hermione and Sirius were all staying, there was more than enough room for them. What you dreaded was Remus’s presence.

Gathering up all the courage you could, you decided to talk to Remus. No time like the present! Should be a piece of cake!

Wrong.

Remus avoided you every chance he got. And you can’t blame him.

Okay...perhaps you were avoiding him a teeny, tiny, itty, bitty bit as well…

Okay! you were avoiding him fully.

But you can’t blame yourself! It’s hard.

What are you supposed to say?

“Oh hey husband who left me to process severe trauma and grief on my own..you have a KID! He’s 13! You know him already! :D ”

Making faces at your inner monologue wasn’t helping though, because you jumped the moment your eyes caught a figure leaning against the doorway, right arm up against the arch as the other finds purchase on his hip.

Remus.

Remus, your husband, was watching you make faces at yourself to talk to yourself for the past..you don’t know how long.

For a moment you just stared at each other, blinking and making no noise.

Then a smile broke out on his face, which subsequently led to one on yours.

He was the first to break the silence.

“So…How are you?” he pursed his lips after he spoke.

Strange, you considered. That’s how he begins a conversation?

Your eyes move across the room, he’s staring straight at you. It feels like he can see right through you. That he can see the gears turning in your head.

“I’ve met Regulus before…At Hogwarts, I mean. I was his DADA professor.” He says after noticing your silence.

Getting a noise of affirmation from you in return encourages his to speak further.

“Who is he? To you? I know the name isn’t exactly new” His head tilted to the side in the way a kicked puppy's would.

From where you’re standing, in the little light, you can see his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulps, nervousness obvious throughout his being.

You don't lead with “he’s your son”. No. You begin short and simple.

“He’s my son.”

You hope your voice doesn't reflect the fact that a lump has formed in your throat. You hoped your voice wasn't trembling like your hands.

A look washes over Remus's face. One you’d describe as recognition…or perhaps disappointment. In you or himself, that you wouldn't know.

Being from the Black family, you never hid your true thoughts. Feelings? sure, but thoughts? No.

“Disappointed are you? In me or yourself?”

There was a sass to your words you didn't expect. Once again a smile seems to tug at Remus's lips, stretching the scar, you didn't recognise yet, ever so slightly.

“Ever the witty one, my love” his words were airy. More relaxed.

Certainly too relaxed for your taste. There was no way he was so apathetic towards this. Not when it hurts you like a thousand hexes.

“Don't.”

You don't know what gave you the sudden strength, the sudden courage, to stand your ground. What made you narrow your eyes and cross your arms.

What made you suddenly reject the light atmosphere he had created, while you so clearly longed to be in his arms. Heaving a sigh, you continued.

“You don't get to just come back and call me your love. You can't do that to me. Not again.”

Your voice was but a mere whisper towards the end of your sentance.

Not again. That's what you told yourself when you saw Remus this morning. You weren't going to throw yourself into his arms again.

But how could you not when his arms just looked so warm and comfortable?

How could you when you’d spent fourteen years without them?

You were hoping he’d pick up the forgiving glint in your eyes and apologise.

His gaze flickered throughout the room. As if somehow that would answer you. First the lamp, in the furthest corner. Then the carpet caught his attention. Then suddenly the marble countertop seemed oh so interesting.

After what felt like hours, but really must've been a minute, he began to break the silence.

“Right…uhh-”

You watched as he paused, a divot appearing in between his brows, scrunching together, as a look of realisation crossed his features.

“-how old is he?”

The words escaped him with urgency, as if knowing this was extremely crucial.

It was, you just didn't know that.

“He’s fourteen- will be this year.”

Your mind was racing with thoughts, surely Remus wouldn't need to ask something so trivial.

It felt as though you could see the gears turning in his mind. He was so deep into thought.

But then his eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened.

“He’s mine.” He wasn't asking though, despite it sounding more like a question than affirmative.

That, you didn't expect.

And now you were the one who’s gaze was skittering across the room in hopes of finding an answer.

He knows. He knows. Oh Merlin he knows!

“He’s mine.”

Remus repeats, his voice comes out choked. As if he was ready to cry any moment.

Hearing a sniffle, you looked up to see Remus bringing his hand up to his face, which was rather red, and covering his eyes much like a little kid would.

You felt horrible, how could you hide this from him.

No. You did the right thing. He didn't want you. He wouldn't want Regulus either. He left! Awful. Awful! Bad!

“I have a son?”

You could definitely hear the tears in his voice, his light, choked up sobs echoed through the room.

Hey, that's how you reacted when you found out too.

You felt the sudden need to apologise. You shouldn't have to.

“Yes.”

You settled on that. Yes. That's all he needed to know.

A flurry of questions bombarded his mind.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

He looked angry. Why was he angry? He has no right to be angry.

You were furious.

“Why do you think Remus? Why do you think I hid him from you? Are you that daft!?”

An incredulous chuckle accompanied your words. You were seething. And you weren't done, so you continued.

“You left me! James and Lily died! My brother was sent to Azkaban. And you left!”

Your volume was rising by the second. You're certain a little more and the whole house would hear it.

Maybe also hear the sound of your heart breaking along with.

You felt ridiculous. How is he angry at this? He has no right.

“If you’d told me I would have stayed! How long had you known!?”

If you told him.

He wouldn't have stayed for you. He would have stayed for the kid.

Not for you.

“Two weeks before-”

You managed to get out before he interrupted you.

“And you didn't think to tell me!?”

Why did he have to say it like that? Like he hated you?

It hurt.

“I tried.”

Your chest felt heavy as you uttered those words. It felt like a wound had reopened.

Once again you were meek. You felt like a child being reprimanded by their parent. You've had a fair share of that already. You didn't need more.

You felt...helpless.

This was your husband. He wasn't supposed to be angry at you.

Suddenly all the feelings you’d been shoving down came right up.

“No Remus. You have no right! You cannot come back after years and pretend that we are fine! I did the right thing Remus. And I will not have you make me believe otherwise.”

You felt ridiculous. Yet again, he has made you feel small. That didn't happen before.

Remus, your remus always made you feel loved. And seen.

This isn't your Remus.

“I don't know who you are. I know I did the right thing. I know…”

Right?

You shook your head as you spoke those words, you seemed to close in on yourself. Backing away until you couldn't. You can't do this right now.

His words seemed so collected when he replied. As much as they could, when he had been sobbing a moment ago. They still held anger in them.

“But I am his father.”

A gasp echoes through the empty corridor.

Not yours…

Regulus's.

"He is my father?”

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