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#greenteacup asks
greenerteacups · 6 hours
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this chapter’s favorite quote for me - “I deny them the privilege of knowing you, of being known by you. That is what they have to suffer for their wrongs”
LOVE
also Hermione guarding herself from Draco’s charm offense because she doesn’t think it’s him being genuine just for her but he is!!! teenage misunderstandings galore i love
loved it and looking forward to next week!
Teenage misunderstandings come with the territory! I can't write about fifteen-year-olds falling in love without indulging a little. Besides, Hermione very much has her own Shit To Deal With vis-a-vis: intimacy and trust. She's certainly going to jump into Draco's arms just because he's had the temerity to get over himself a little and flirt.
I think it's a breakthrough that Draco's not deterred by it, though. It's more of a "well, this is a new thing that I need to figure out about her," rather than a "well, time to give up and have a breakdown" reaction (as it was a few chapters ago). Progress!
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fairyringsandwings · 9 months
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Nashuri Fanfic Recommendations
Some of these have been deleted but have been saved in different places. Just message/send an ask if you need a link or want to suggest fics 🐈 ❤🐍
❤ safety net (should i fight or fly?) by avatarsarny
💜 A Game of Serpents and Gods by tacotime
❤ igazi and xocolatl by blackberrys, orphan_account
💜 someday we’ll linger in the sun by greenTeacup
❤ Crowns Lost and Gained by neonal
💜 cross my heart by lilithenaltum
💚 saints above by filthyanimal
💜 Snow Day Series by DaisyBuchanan143
💚 Shadows of Desperation by NettlesBrown
💜 Sunglasses by tacotime
💚 The Promise by Toonmili
❤ Yueadu by Nocturne1980
❤ underwater earthquake by wakandawinterprincess
💜 The Summoning of K'uk'ulkan by La_Maripoza
💚 he helps himself to her bad dreams by savsaaba for sutecha
💜 Flaming Memories by Phoebegracegrey
💚 of her holy water by burning_the_midnight_oil
❤ Into These Waters by FreshRain (Nocturne1980)
💚 The Return of K'uk'ulkan by Toonmili
💜 Trustfall by burning_the_midnight_oil (Comic)
💚 your choice, if you're willing to choose by anthropologicalhands
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dramionediscussion · 2 months
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Hi does Lionheart by greenTeacup have Draco or Hermione ever dating other people? I kind of want to read it but i'm not in the mood to read Pansy and Draco going at it in the corridors all of a sudden, for example, no matter how much DHr happens later. Sorry if this is a bad ask.
IDK, I have not read that one. Perhaps you should check the tags and see if there are any side pairings listed? Or check the reviews to see if anyone mentions another relationship.
-Lisa
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catgotcaught · 9 months
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As much as i like the RBF *oh btw it's friday* tag and all that for my silly dramione hyperfixation i just can't hate him it's just that i have this sick satisfaction seeing him miserable like yeah make him feel all the hurt that this big bad world has to offer. he's a precious baby. reading the books made me see reasons why not to, don't have to enumerate things here but yeah i relate to him in a way that's uniquely me not bcuz we're both pisces, hahaha anyway had fun commenting like oh mygod that's a pisces move like stop it ron! don't treat Lavender like shit cmon man, why are you running no don't leave them etc. that's why reading a fic where he gets to shine the brightest makes my day a little better. but the real question i ask myself daily is do i want him with my queen hermy? canonically no, fanonically no. still my preference doesn't affect them in any way cuz they have their hea so that's that btw really love greenTeacups' characterization of ron 💗
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redladydeath · 2 years
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NWH/Octogoblin fics I like
Aftermath by TulipFluff
And if I was Given the Chance, I’d Rewrite History for You by FangirlOfTheCentury
and part of me keeps holding on (in case you haven’t gone) by lesbianmobius
Ask Me To Risk It All by Anonymous
At Least Buy Me Dinner First by achilliesonmain
can i wish on a star for another life by Percyjacksonfan3
Court and Courting by neonspaces
Drawing the Line by Overlord_Mordax
Fixed by greengreed
Got That, Cocksucker? by harvestwheat27
Here to Stay by AngstyDathomirians
His Wife Has Filled His House With Chintz by stamped_cleams
Hold Me Up or Let me Down by adastra615
Honey, I Can Fix You (Gonna Break You Down Again) by TulipFluff
House of Memories by DramaticDuke
I Can Fix You by Disoriented11
I Guess It’s Some Kinda Lunch Date by TulipFluff
i know that the night must end, and that the sun will rise by renaissancefleabag
I Sent Flowers by TheSmilingShadow
Ignorance by DittyWrites
Lights by gavisco_double_action
Metal and Grease and Salt by achilliesonmain
Of Men and Monsters by Super-Kame
Playing Rough by gerbilfluff
Pot meet Kettle by Super-Kame
Pretty Little Things by achilliesonmain
Simplicities and Sick Days by achilliesonmain
So Sharp and Cruel by achilliesonmain
So This Is Christmas, Huh? by achilliesonmain
Sonder by achilliesonmain
Special Topics in Quantum Relations by greenTeacup
Spoils of War by achilliesonmain
This Is Your Brain on Goblin Serum by TulipFluff
To Deserve and be Deserving by s_napdragon
We’re Not That Bad by claireBellerose
What I Once Was by harvestwheat27
Why Doctor, I’m Flattered! by harvestwheat27
With Your Mask on Tight by gerbilfluff
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greenerteacups · 13 hours
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Your Hermione (through Draco's loving, rose-tinted glasses) has been one of my favorites to read. He doesn't shy away from her faults but sees her qualities (intelligence! an appreciation for the rules but creativity around them! confidence! a touch - a gallon - of bossiness!) as strengths instead of the annoyances they sometimes appear to be through Harry's eyes in the original books.
You once wrote on your favorite and least favorite tropes for Draco. I'm curious, what are they for Hermione? Was she the character you saw yourself in in the books, or was that someone else?
And a million times over - thanks for creating such a rich, beautiful text. I've been reading fanfiction for 10 years, and this is one of my favorites.
Thank you so much! Hermione was my favorite character, and as a bookish, socially challenged kid, most definitely the one I saw myself in the most. She made it seem cool to work hard and try, which was not the vibe of my school at the time, and she was the character that I imprinted on. Honestly, it's cheesy, but she probably changed my life.
My favorite version of Hermione is probably "loving hierophant." I like her bossy, righteous, imperious, book-smart but stupid about people, and most of all, a wonderful, wonderful hypocrite. Hermione holds everyone to incredibly high standards, including herself. That means she believes in people intensely and gets cross at them easily when they disappoint her. She's sensitive about certain topics, especially the "not having friends" thing, but she hates the vulnerability it brings up, so she responds by getting defensive and redirecting attention to things she's good at, i.e. books and rules. This is also her reaction to vulnerability in general; Hermione needs to be In Control, and intimacy is the one area where that's literally impossible.
She's capable of observing her own faults in others much more easily than she is of observing them in herself; she'll criticize Harry and Ron for being tactless and then turn around and say something incredibly rude without blinking. This also applies to Harry's inability to pick his battles; Hermione's a little better than he is, but they both have different triggers, and she's not necessarily less bellicose than he is. (This doesn't stop her from lecturing him about a need to "be the hero" in OOTP, one of my all-time favorite Hermione Hypocrisy moments, because. Babygirl. Doctor, heal thyself.) She's scrappy and once she's engaged someone as an enemy, she fights with no holds barred; rules are for people who choose to play by them, and once someone breaks them, she's willing to open the umbrella of what she can do to deal with them. She doesn't have the most consistent moral code in the world! She's often inconsistent, and that's what's wonderful about her. She's a realistic depiction of a fifteen-year-old girl who cares just so fucking much, about everything, all the time, and is furious and desperate and passionate and brilliant, and wants to solve every problem, even when it means contradicting herself. She's still figuring herself out, and I love that about her. I love that she's wrong sometimes. I love that she's rude and messy, and she isn't good at expressing her needs.
In my view, the core tension of her character is her desire to be righteous and her absolute determination in pursuit of her goals. She is an ends not means type of person, and that's a decent philosophy when your enemies are dragons and dementors, but the minute you start dealing with people, your moral bets are off. This is the place where I think canon leaves her, and it's the place where the best fanfic takes her up.
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greenerteacups · 2 days
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Greedily soaking up every new chapter on Fridays. I'm curious, how much of Book 6 have you written? Do you re-write/edit Book 5 as you're posting to make it align with future Books, or are they completely different processes?
Usually, once a book's written, it's locked. I'll go back and tweak things to add foreshadowing and parallelism, but I don't re-write, and I hold the line on changing plot points. I need the past to be stable in order to write the present, if that makes sense.
As for Book 6: she's booking! She is a thing that exists. Much yet to do, much yet to write, but good progress.
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greenerteacups · 6 hours
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i simply need to express the !!!!! i felt while reading the latest update.
i, like you, am a slave to the slow burn; so while i'm dying for them to KISS ALREADY i am absolutely here for every lingering touch and pining look.
i especially love the insight this chapter gave into hermione and her feelings for draco. she is obviously sooo down bad (crying at the gym if hogwarts had one) but, despite (or perhaps because of) her genius, is still an insecure teenage girl who has a crush on the fittest boy in school who just so happens to be her best friend and she is afraid of getting played! or losing her friendship! or both!
(as someone who knows what it's like to be in love with your best friend and for it to be a momentary fairytale only for it to eventually fall apart, i relate, girl)
The burn hurts so good! That's the fun!! I've brought you all here today to watch this little Victorian shit pine, and by God, I will do as I have promised.
I love your read here, though, and it made me really happy. I especially like the observation that Hermione's intelligence isn't necessarily helping her out when it comes to things like her feelings, because she's put all of her trust and self-confidence in her intellect — charisma is her dump stat — and so she's neglected building it up in other areas. Meanwhile, Draco is very much A Presence in Gryffindor, and she's known for being Hermione, the Tower Brigadier-General. That's not exactly the kind of reputation that makes you view yourself as desirable.
And, of course, she's also just fifteen. I never met a fifteen-year-old girl who had a normal relationship to the way she looked, and I knew a lot of them. Hermione, who is both canonically and extracanonically teased for her appearance, is not the exception to the rule.
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greenerteacups · 15 days
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The great hormonal storms in book 5 lead me to this ask: let's talk about sex. Or at least sex ed. Does Hogwarts have it (at least in LH'verse)? Is that a nurse duty or a Head of House one? Did Narcissa sit her baby boy down for The Talk, at least to impart how Miss Granger would return to her parents in the same state she left them or at least unimpregnated? Did she outsource that task to Uncle Severus? Did Ron share what his older brothers passed down? What does our favorite victorian-in-spirit know abt sex beyond "lie back and think of the bloodline" and his hormonal daydreams?
I'm l o s i n g it at the idea of Narcissa instructing Draco to leave Hermione "unimpregnated," which, I just — I think the minute she uses those things in the same sentence, Draco hits the road at the speed of Mach Christ. He's gone. He's not here. He's not in the building. Can't have the Sex Talk if you can't fucking catch me, Mom. (For the record, I can fully see Narcissa trying. She's much less prudish than Draco is — gossips about adultery with her 11-y/o son on Christmas morning, references Ye Olde Wilde Times with Lucius, cracks the occasional bawdy joke, etc. — she just doesn't often see the need to discuss it, being aware that Draco, as far as she knows, remains an un-Awakened little Victorian. The Great Granger Debacle of 1995 is likely raising her suspicions there.) That said, Draco knows what sex is; for some reason my mind gravitates to the slightly handwavey answer of "boy's dormitory." I'm picturing him in his four-poster, curtains drawn, pretending to be asleep, while Ron and Harry have a free-ranging, horrifically creative conversation about what Ron thinks sex is (courtesy of the twins). Optimistically, Neville hops in with corrections from Augusta Longbottom's sexual etiquette seminars. Either way, Draco never, ever reveals that he has heard this conversation.
Or, alternatively, he and Theo have a really intense heart-to-heart during that summer before third year, which would do a lot to explain why the two of them are so weird about each other basically for the rest of time. (Raising the question of where Theo/Pansy/Daphne learned it. At age 12, Pansy got an excruciatingly detailed Talk from her mother, who was scared to death of a teen pregnancy pitching their family into ruin; Pansy, deciding it was unfair she had to suffer this and Theo did not, inflicted said Talk on Theo, who was just relieved that he didn't have to ask Sibelius. And Daphne grew up around so many healers that she just badgered them until someone gave in and told her. She's also a stated connoisseur of trashy romance novels, so. Make of that what you will.)
I think that Hogwarts, being modeled in mores and general Vibe from old English boarding schools, probably is not the most forward-thinking with sex ed. I also do believe Severus Snape would sooner jump off a bridge, and I kind of need him for the plot, so I've got to spare him that grave and important duty. Poppy Pomfrey probably gets the question the most of any staff member, and over the years, I think she's honed her answer down to a tight 3 minute-monologue that covers all major topics.
Odds and ends in the same vein:
Hermione gets a sit-down with the Drs. Granger the summer before her thirteenth birthday, so sometime in August, 1992. It is meticulously explained and flawlessly presented, with color-coded diagrams, an index, and a syllabus. It includes a diagnostic chart for common STIs and a spreadsheet on birth control options. Dr. Granger gets excited after a tangent about ovarian cysts and runs to pull out her old copy of Grey's. Hermione spends the whole time fully miserable, wondering why parents couldn't be like, greengrocers or something. (That doesn't stop her from asking questions, obviously.)
Ron, like all Weasley men of his generation, gets a knock on his door sometime around his 14th birthday, and Arthur invites him to "go fishing." This is code for "stand by the river and try to keep a will to live while your dad explains the mechanics of sex, its importance, and the value of waiting until you feel comfortable and safe sharing that level of intimacy with a trusted partner" (sic).
Fred and George got separate talks, because Arthur wanted to emphasize that he sees them as individuals; however, Fred ran back and immediately recounted it all to George, who proceeded to feign extraordinary expertise in it the next morning, to his father's horror.
Ginny's "go fishing" equivalent is Molly taking her out for tea and delivering a well-meant but incoherent combination of abstinence-only sex ed, aggressive body positivity, and highly technical discussions of how to insert a diaphragm. Ginny, who bullied the real story out of Bill years ago, is baffled, and to this day can't say for sure what she was supposed to take away from it.
Harry spends his 14th birthday at the Burrow. Ron and his brothers make a blood pact in advance not to tell him about it, though, so when Arthur invites him out for the day on August 1st, his sole thought is: oh, nice! Can't wait for some fun fishing :)
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greenerteacups · 7 days
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Love how Draco goes from desperate pining mess to overconfident smug prat in .0001 seconds once it finally clicks that Hermione fancies him back
draco at the end of chapter 63: i'm miserable. i'm worthless. i'm unlovable. no one look at me. my life has no meaning and my friends only claim to desire my presence as feeble gestures of pity and charity. hermione probably wants me dead.
draco at the end of chapter 64: I Am Your God And None Of You Fuckers Can Take Me
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greenerteacups · 1 month
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Ooh I love this last question. 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
I already answered this one, but I thought of another answer, so I'm coming back to it!
Ron bashing. I know this one's somewhat popular, and I'm completely indifferent to other people liking it — to each their own, have at, godspeed — but I (obviously!) care for Ron a lot and I'm usually put off by a fics that take a swing at his character. Usually it's done in service of explaining why Hermione's single, or unhappy in her relationship, which... I just don't think you need bashing him to do? Because I think their relationship probably fizzles out anyway if you leave them to their own devices, and it's much more interesting to me if they revert to "we're exes with zero lingering attraction but we were friends for much longer than we dated so we still care about each other and also our social circles/families are completely codependently knotted up together so by god we have to make this friendship work," which segues, in my opinion, quite naturally into the much more enjoyable: Ron "my brilliant lifelong best friend/sister-in-arms/literally-fought-a-war-with-me found family member, who is also my ex-girlfriend, has fallen in love with an absolute rat man whom I hate, but I can't say shit about it because i don't want to sound bitter and she's also terrifying and could obliterate me in an argument" Weasley, sitting across a very crowded Weasley dinner table from a reformed and incredibly stressed-out Draco Malfoy, hard-eyeing each other like Pacino and De Niro in Heat.
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greenerteacups · 1 month
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Loved literally everything about the last chapter but the thing that really got me....
Hermione *watching Draco lord over firsties*: This may have awakened something in me...
The first thing to remember about Hermione (whom I adore, whom I would die for, who is my babygirl and my silly rabbit and my number one trigger-happy would-be teenage evil genius) is that she is a completely ridiculous freak. International quidditch star with hordes of admirers who wants to take you abroad? Eh, he'll do in a pinch. Your weird snotty best friend/academic husband/newfound coworker ordering around some eleven-year-olds like it's the marines? Deeply alluring.
She's not normal, your honor.
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greenerteacups · 1 month
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thoughts on Ginny and Harry as a couple?
There are a lot of people who find their romance in HBP forced. I don't think it's forced so much as underwritten, and the books don't get the chemistry quite right (though the movies certainly don't, either). There's potential, but they just don't get enough actual scenes of substance (besides Harry thinking she's pretty or feeling jealous of Dean) for a lot of readers to buy that they're not only in love, but deeply enough in love to break up, get back together, and wind up married.
That's not to say I don't see the appeal. There's a very cool scene in Book 5 where Harry's doing a woe-is-me-Chosen-One act, and Ginny effortlessly puts him in his place about it by reminding him that she was possessed by Voldemort at eleven, which is a rare glimpse into her character and also a great synecdoche for their relationship — Ginny is a grounding presence who, like Ron and Hermione, isn't going to be awed by his past adventures because she knew him before they happened. In that respect, Ginny's probably one of the few women Harry could feasibly wind up with, because he only ever seems comfortable around people (let alone girls) who can see past the Chosen-One schtick and treat him like a normo (see: Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys, Luna, Hagrid). True to type, he doesn't get interested in Ginny at all until she's ditched her celebrity crush and ceased to view him as an idol, because in his heart of hearts, Harry wants to be a normal boy, and it's stressed over and over that part of what he likes about his relationship with Ginny is how normal it feels. He kind of has a horribly supercharged version the celebrity dating problem: after the Battle of Hogwarts, anyone he meets is going to know him first as Harry Potter, Chosen One, Boy Who Lived, and Actually Fucking Resurrected Messiah of the Wizarding World, which is... I mean, it's possible that there are witches out there who could get over that, but Harry's not an extroverted guy, and I'm not sure how he'd go about finding them. Ginny's the one who's been there since the beginning, doesn't need anything about him or his past explained to her, and actually likes him for who he is.
When you look at it that way, it's not surprising he married his high school girlfriend. She's one of the few people still alive who doesn't see him as a demigod.
#in general I was never one to ship harry with anybody#what I wanted for him was a long quiet life and plenty of therapy#maybe some dogs. i think harry needs dogs and deserves them#The other obvious solution ftr — though not one I think Harry would take — is for him to marry a muggle#though again. you'd run into the problem of how you explain All That#which harry doesn't like to talk about and probably would want to talk about even less as an adult#plus also: harry loves magic. like he loves it loves it#the muggle world for harry is permanently connected with the dursleys and it would take years to break that association#which I just don't think he's going to invest#Harry post-BOH is moving to Hogsmeade or wizarding London or some other magical neighborhood and staying there forever#by the way this post is not anti Harry and Ginny! no hate on the ship I've seen versions of it that are very cute#but I just think their love story needed Sauce#there are also some really interesting posts I've found in Deep Fandom crackship blogs about h/g as Harry's sublimated desire for Ron#now I don't necessarily buy that reading. I don't think Harry is in love with Ron in the original text#I do think he LOVES ron and projects that love onto the Weasleys very quickly ginny included#and I think Ron is his soulmate platonic or otherwise in every universe#so marrying Ginny has like. Implications. vis-a-vis Harry's status as a Weasley and adoptive brother[in law] of Ron#like it's a full-circle moment where he becomes officially legally a member of Ron's family#which I do believe JKR had in mind. even though that basically means ginny's wedding becomes kinda... actually... about her brother...#it's weird basically. my final verdict is I wish H/G had been written by an author who was more interested in Ginny for Ginny's sake.#greenteacup asks
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greenerteacups · 3 months
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Hi! Just wanted to say the latest chapter is lovely & amazing & sweet & had me smiling the whole time! I absolutely love your characterisation of everyone, especially Draco, so it was so so lovely to return to this world & to his thoughts!! with his best friend and crush at malfoy manor no less! All the yearning is already off to a great start hehe I am so excited for the rest of book 5!
Wanted to ask you how has it been for you to write this new book and volume? Has your writing process changed since when you’d first begun taking on a long form project like this?
& also are there any moments or surprises in this book that you’re especially excited about?
sending so much love & gratitude for you and your incredible works 💓
Thank you so much! This is really encouraging, I so appreciate it.
Inasmuch as I can use this metaphor without having kids myself, I sort of see each of the books as a different child. The first one flew out in basically a few weeks of very intensive writing, and it was a total dream — plot, pacing, symbolism, major beats, all fell into place basically without effort. The character stuff was the hardest, as I've written about before, but even then, the glorious part of writing beginnings is it's the most energy you'll ever have for a project, so the lows were pretty soft lows. Book 2, in contrast, I had to drag kicking and screaming by its ankle from under the bottommost mattress of my brain. It's one of my least favorite books (tone problem; COS has killer plot/setting/ingredients for a YA novel, but it's stuck in the doldrums of Harry Potter's well-documented Early-Installment Weirdness, before Cedric Diggory slams the gas and upshifts the whole series into its correct age bracket). More specifically, once I'd gone through and picked out everything in the book that happened because of Lucius, I didn't have a plot — hey alexa how do you rewrite Chamber of Secrets when We Got No Fucking Chamber Of Secrets — and oh by the way, even if you want to do a moody tone/political setup book, remember that your protagonists are still twelve, so if you go too dark or too intense, you'll risk torpedoing your readers' suspension of disbelief. Good luck, Charlie.
Book 3 felt the most like its own novel, if that makes sense? It's the last truly feel-good book of the series; it's a great stand-alone mystery novel with relatively low stakes. Plus you get a bunch of the big series icons: patronuses, dementors, werewolves, Hogsmeade, the Marauders' Map, and time turners arithmancy. It just felt like a good old-fashioned motherfucking romp of a mystery/adventure story, before any of the complex character work and major stakes of the late books come in.
Book 4 was the most fun I've had writing anything maybe ever. I don't even know what it was. Maybe the tournament arc, honestly? Love me a tournament arc. But in any case, I opened every new chapter feeling a tingle of excitement for what I was gonna get to do. Oh, and the romance started, finally, Jesus God (if it feels like a slow burn reading, just imagine what it felt like writing it, when everything takes ten times as long, and you have to figure out how to word the fucker.)
Book 5, in contrast, has felt much less like that tingle of "here we go!" and more like "oh, man, this is gonna be cool." Because this is the arc of the story that composed the original idea for Lionheart, literally years ago, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far! If you'd asked me "do you know that it's going to take you 500,000 words of backstory before you can start writing that concept you're thinking about, and you're going to do it anyway?" I would have said: "absolutely not, strange mind-reader!" But like... I'm here! Finally! And it's... real now? Like, this isn't just a bunch of clips of scenes in my head anymore! That's rad!
That being said, it's definitely been slower than Book 4, because I kept switching back to my outline document to make sure that certain things were set up properly, and that I hadn't lost any of the plot threads or forgotten a minor beat that was vitally important for the story three chapters later. And I had a minor crisis about three months ago when I ripped out about 8 chapters in the first third of the book — basically everything from September to December — because I'd done a readthrough to check pacing (big mistake! never edit while drafting, that's satan talking) and realized I had a missing storyline. Like, there was a whole layer of the story that was just. Missing. Not there. And the existing text really couldn't fit another thread, so instead of taking weeks to pore through and try to sift out what I could save, I needed to factory reset and start over. And I didn't want to! I vividly remember sitting there with my head in my hands, trying not to weep, because I'd decimated 90,000 words of work in a single edit. But it had to be done. Because the story wasn't going to work. And now (hopefully) it will.
And of course, there's still that sense of excitement and exhilaration from before. Always. But whereas Book 4 felt like a delicious chocolate pudding, Book 5 is a medium-rare steak.
(Book 6, so far, is four shots of espresso and a whiskey chaser. FWIW.)
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greenerteacups · 29 days
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Hi GT! I love Lionheart most ardently - it is truly one of my favorite stories (in general, not just fanfiction).
One thing that really impresses me is your ability to make the personality, depth, and voice of every character shine, far beyond just the core four of Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco. Two questions for you - one, which supporting character has been the most fun for you to write? And two, are there any characters that you especially wish had gotten more character depth or "screen time" in canon? Thanks!
Thank you so much! Much love from one Austenian to another. <3
Taking the core four off the board, Theo and/or Pansy have been the most fun to write, because they're so deliciously nasty. After a lot of scenes in Gryffindor, which is a warm, cozy, everyone-knows-your-name kind of place, Slytherin is a splash of cold water. Teddy and Pans in particular are tangled up in the kinds of toxic oddball dynamics you get when you take a bunch of emotionally repressed children, give them more money than God, and tell them they can't trust anyone but each other. Also, they deliberately talk like they're in a novel, because they're pretentious, and that's fun.
Characters that I wish had more time in canon: my kingdom for a scrap of information about Narcissa. Some lore, some dialogue, some narrative anything from Narcissa. Because if you just lay it out in bullet points, her life is the most fucked-up insane series of catastrophic fall-of-the-Roman-Empire type disasters — like, her (canonical) timeline currently goes, in chronological order:
Sister elopes and gets disinherited
Cousin runs away and gets disinherited
Other sister joins a cult
Other cousin also joins a cult
Husband joins a cult (timeline unclear, possibly predates your sister and/or cousin)
Other cousin goes missing, presumed dead(??)
Disinherited cousin is arrested for betraying his best friend to your cult leader and killing ten muggles (even though the muggle-killing was what he got all pissy about in the first place?)
Disinherited cousin's dead best friend's kid kills your cult leader on accident.
Your husband is arrested and tried for trying to overthrow his government (which he did) but they acquit him because you guys are rich. Your sister (also rich(?)) goes to prison though
Your husband unleashes a string of murders at the school your only son attends by smuggling a Dark artifact bequeathed to him by your dead cult leader to an eleven-year-old girl
Harry Potter frees your house-elf by tricking your beautiful idiot husband into punting a twelve-year-old's sock at it
Disinherited cousin breaks out of jail, tries to kill(?) Harry Potter
Your cult leader comes back from the dead
Your cult sister breaks out of jail to join her resurrected cult leader and moves into your house
Your son joins the cult and tries to kill his school principal. You make a suicide pact with his chemistry professor to help him out. Your son appears to succeed; everyone is still in your house for some reason.
Cult leader kills Harry Potter, Notoriously Unkillable Guy, and doesn't check the body himself. Maybe has bad knees or something? Unclear. Anyway, kid's not dead, so you lie to your immortal cult leader because you're sick of having all these people in your fucking house.
But hey, I'm glad the books made time for us to meet Ted Tonks.
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greenerteacups · 3 months
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draco’s lawyer is literally my favorite side character. gatz my beloved. cannot wait for him and his horrifying suit to grace us once again <3
"GATZ MY BELOVED" I'm howling. So glad that someone enjoys that little creep as much as I do. He was going to be kind of a one-off joke in Book 3 and I had so much fun writing him that I decided he needed to be on retainer.
I've always enjoyed the idea that Gatz is like, an actually well-established wizarding lawyer with a prestigious and busy legal practice, only every 6 months or so he'll get a panicky call from this random teenage aristocrat because he needs to bail his friend out of jail. And Gatz (who I imagine is usually the middle of a billion-dollar corporate merger or something) is like, you know what, it's a slow week, why not? And so he goes and puts on his suit and schleps out to go chew out some cops for arresting a teenager. For fun, essentially. And whenever the billings rep comes to him like, "hey, can you tell us why we're billing the Malfoy account for this... uh... seven-hour period in late August?" Gatz is like: ...what? Oh, yes! The Child.
It's a very "Artemis Fowl and Butler" dynamic.
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