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PERFECTLY FINE – OLLIE INTRO

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the middle of a season is not an ideal time for a heartbreak.

you would know.

but the season went on, and you had to push through it. you were never one to let anyone – especially not a boy – stop you from fighting toward your goals.

the round in barcelona was really rough, with a crash in qualifying and then no points in either race. austria wasn't a lot of help for the championship, either; you had to retire due to an engine issue in the sprint, and in the feature, you were shoved into a barrier by a trident driver and damaged the car too much to continue.

at least your home race was a better weekend. after having spent the week leading up to it at home with your family, you were recharged, relaxed, and focused on the task ahead. the weekend left you with a sprint race podium and valuable points in the bag – and more hope than the weeks before.

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somewhere in the midst of it all, ollie came into the picture.

it was on the way back to your hotel one day after media duties in the prema factory that ollie popped the question. he did it so calmly, like it was no big deal.

"do you want to have dinner with me tonight?"

but when you thought about it, it wasn't just "in the midst of it all"; ollie hadn't just materialized out of thin air. he was always there.

back in the day, he was there to help you out with the prema simulator when you struggled. he was there to give you tips ahead of your race weekends. and now, here he was, helping you get through your baggage with paul – intentionally or not.

you met him for the first time in late 2021, when you visited your dad in maranello for the fda scouting finals. then, you got to know each other more properly in 2022 when he first joined prema. even at 16, ollie was a gentleman through and through. even at that time, he was gorgeous; with a smile that could light up the whole world, freckles appearing on his sun-kissed skin when he had been exposed to the southern european sun. although you were in a series below him in both 2022 and 2023, you would see him around occasionally, and you always loved his company.

had you been too busy focusing on paul that you hadn't truly noticed ollie and how great he was?

here he was now, the truly perfect gentleman, standing right before your eyes. and he was asking you out on a date? how could you ever pass down that opportunity?

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his offer seemed casual – and yet, you had a feeling it was anything but casual.

that's why you spent about an hour stressed in your hotel room, digging through your luggage to find something perfect to wear. something cute, but casual. gorgeous, yet simple. if ollie didn't think of this as more than two friends just getting some food, you didn't want to be overdressed – but you also dreaded the thought of being underdressed in case he also thought of this in the same way you did.

a date.

your first date since paul – well, your first date ever, really – and it was with this beautiful, heartthrob of a man. you and paul never really went on dates, you didn't go through that giggly first stage of a new blooming relationship; you were just thrown straight into the passion, like getting on a roller coaster that starts with a massive drop. this was completely new territory for you.

the second ollie complimented your outfit (well, he said, "you look beautiful", and you chose to assume it was because of your clothes), all of your stress flew out through the window. he looked great, too – but for some reason, that didn't make you too nervous. in fact, you were calm as a millpond all evening. you felt like you could relax with him, be natural around him; you didn't need to fake anything or pressure yourself to be your most extreme self. his coolness made you chill and unwind, too.

ollie was a fresh breath of air. he was a cool wind, a slight breeze in your hair. it was refreshing, a nice contrast to the hurricane paul had been.

sure, paul had also been sweet, warm summer days. but sometimes, a slow and steady climate is easier on the heart than a crazy, unpredictable one.

dating ollie was hard.

with him still living in maranello, and your time being split between milton keynes and the prema factory in vicenza, you didn't have a lot of chances to see each other. sure, you saw each other in hungary and spa, but both of you were way too focused on your own performances to do anything else.

besides, you hadn't even defined your relationship to yourselves yet, so acting like anything other than regular teammates around the track was a no-go zone.

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but when you did find time to be together, dating ollie was so easy.

it was a walk in the park, a piece of cake. he respected your opinions, he took care of your needs. he said just the right things, the things you needed to hear. he was never late, he always kept his promises – and most importantly, he seemed to really like you.

at least that's what you translated his actions into. the way he squeezed your hand when he held it; the way he held you in his arms protectively when you watched a horror movie; the way his lips brushed your forehead when parting from you after a date night. all of the things he did were ways to express his feelings for you.

he didn't just use his body to show you. he loved to tell you.

he said it right before he kissed you for the first time. it was like he asked for permission, waiting for your smile and "i really like you, too" before leaning in and gently pressing his lips to yours.

he said it when you parted in the airport, going off to your respective homes; followed by a short "i'll miss you a lot" and "i'll call you when i land, okay?", telling you just how much you mean to him.

and he said it in a handwritten note hidden in the huge bouquet of roses that stood on the table in your hotel room when you came back from the last day of racing in belgium, the text followed by a heart and a simple cartoon bear.

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maybe love isn't supposed to be hard. maybe it isn't supposed to be complex, confusing, difficult. maybe the love you had with paul wasn't what you needed; maybe the simple love you have with ollie is just right.

your summer break was long, though not empty. the days were filled to the brim with workouts, millions of hours spent in the sim, and quite a lot of boring strategy meetings.

when your racing abstinence became too big, you went to zandvoort to hang out in the paddock. ollie was still busy with racing, but you were free from responsibilities – and like this, it was much easier to watch him do his thing.

you'd always admired ollie's skills as a driver, but these last few weeks, you'd also gotten the chance to open your eyes to other sides of him. how focused he is on his performances, how good he is at switching between his friendly and professional moods, how ambitious and determined he is when it comes to his racing.

but also how sweet he was to you behind closed doors, and how good the kisses he pressed to your forehead felt when you wished him good luck for the races.

maybe you needed to work on those good luck-wishes, though.

while paul had taken most of your firsts, ollie got the ones he left out.

first coffee date.

first picnic date in the sun.

first time staying over at a boyfriend's family's house.

first night spent on the back of his dad's pickup truck, cuddled up in pillows and blankets while watching the stars.

first double date with one of your old friends from back home.

the first boy to give you that teenage type of love; the one where you feel butterflies in your stomach every time you make eye contact, the one where every brush of fingers sends a shiver down your spine.

the first one to make you feel like you're the center of the universe, like his world revolves around you.

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being with ollie is so sweet. it's exchanging subtle yet meaningful glances when the room is filled with people who can't know; it's soft laughter in the middle of the night when discussing the most bizarre subjects; it's a rush of affection flooding your heart every time you hear his voice.

he makes you feel just the way you should; giddy, nervous, excited. like a thirteen-year-old girl thinking about her crush. but still, it isn't enough.

in every way, he is a great boyfriend.

so why don't you feel as much as you did with paul?

balancing a relationship and a race weekend was more complicated than you'd feared.

when monza rolled around, you were trying your best to keep your eyes on the price; although the championship win was out of reach, you were technically still in the battle for second place. you knew you needed every ounce of strength and focus to be able to get it.

your focus wasn't exactly helped by having your handsome boyfriend lurk around in the paddock and prema truck whenever you tried to get ready for your races.

sneaking around without letting anyone know about your relationship was hard. obviously, you couldn't keep yourselves completely away – you were both only 18, after all – but you had to be discreet. carefully intertwining your fingers underneath tables, shared giggles around other people who had no understanding of why you were suddenly laughing, secret kisses when everyone else had left the truck.

you did end up taking that second place, with both you and ollie winning a feature each; a great weekend. and you even managed to sneak around without anyone noticing, which was yet another win for you.

except, someone did notice. that someone being the only person you really didn't want to know.

paul.

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abu dhabi meant yet another race weekend where ollie was supposed to focus, but he easily got distracted by his lady. at least this time, you weren't racing, so it was only half the trouble of monza. you were just there as support for your team of four years and both ollie & fred, but trying to steer clear from paul as much as you could.

unfortunately for paul, he didn't steer clear from you as much. having you there was actually more of a distraction to him than to ollie. every single time he saw you, he wanted to leave the paddock – and every time he saw you with ollie, he wanted to flee the country.

you pretended like you didn't notice him, acted like you didn't care. but in reality, you felt as bad at the mere thought of paul being near again. you'd been away from him for almost two months, not even accidentally bumping into him at the prema factory between monza and abu dhabi. and now that you saw him again, you wanted to cry, because...

he looked even better than he usually did. his laughter was just as intoxicating as ever. his entire aura pulled you closer.

but at the same time, seeing him brought back all of the bad memories and emotions too. the arguments, the rage, the exhaustion. and when that happened, you felt perfectly fine about being with ollie instead.

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ollie's final race of the 2023 season ended in the worst thinkable way. the car shut down, and he lost the rookie championship. completely awful and worthless – until he finally got to be with you again after the race.

and there with ollie in your arms, his face nuzzled into the side of your neck as you comforted him, you couldn't have cared less about paul watching you as he strolled past the prema paddock.

the paddock that had once been his home, with the girl who had once been his comfort. the arms that had once wrapped around him instead.

how did he screw up this badly?

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