#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ TWS ITS KINDA GRAPHIC

[frogsareallgay]

Some days he feels like dying, She gets so sick of crying pt 1/3

- Hey this is my first time posting a fic. I hope y’all like it. it’s a Robby centric Hurt/Comfort because i cannot write anything else atm. Pt 2 will get released tmr because i’m too tired to keep writing lol -

⚠️ ATTENTION!!! MASSIVE TWs FOR SH & SUICIDE ATTEMPT ALSO BL00D AND GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF SH. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK⚠️

fic title: Extraordinary Girl by Green Day <3

Johnny

Johnny had been out all day. He was overtired and sore from teaching all day. He eased his car into the driveway of the apartment block. He reached across the seat to lift the 6 pack of Coor’s off the passenger seat and fumbled for his key. 

Once inside he placed the beers in the fridge, taking one out to drink now. He opened it, enjoying the satisfying ‘pshhhh’ sound it made, he lifted the can to his mouth but just as he was about to take a sip he heard a noise.

It was a weird noise and it took him a second to process what it could be. The sound was half way between a whine of pain and a sob. Miguel. Miguel’s hurt. His mind started racing as he stumbled through the house towards his son’s room. 

He burst open the door, ready for whatever mess he was about to see but to his horror, Miguel’s room was empty.

Johnny heard another sound. One that made his stomach drop.

“Dad?”

The word was only barely audible. It sounded tiny and far away. “Shit” he mumbled, walking towards his other son’s room. How could he forget? Miguel was out with Carmen and Yaya. The only other person home was-

“Robby? You good man?”

Johnny found himself standing over his son, who was noticeably disheveled and sitting in the corner of his room, curled in on himself which made him look a lot smaller than he really was. 

“I’m sorry dad”

“Sorry for what?”

“I…”

Johnny took a suspicious step forward. 

“Sorry for what Robby?”

Instead of answering Robby just sobbed. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and staining his pale face. Johnny was taken aback for a moment before kneeling down next to Robby, what had Robby been doing while he was home alone? and was it going to cause him trouble?

He could see Robby closer now. The cuffs of his flannel were sticky and damp with blood and his entire body was shaking so bad he couldn’t keep still.

“Kid……”

“It’s fine. Im sorry for being dramatic. I can deal with it myself. I’ve done it before. Just go.” 

Unconsciously the kid had started digging his nails into his palms. He was feigning calmness but his eyes were wide with panic, even if Johnny hadn’t known him (which he didn’t, really) he could have seen through the façade. Without saying anything he took his son’s hands in his own. He gently pushed the sleeves off his wrists revealing the mess underneath.

Johnny tried not to gag. Robby’s skin was barely visible under the amount of blood that was covering them. There were jagged cuts all the way up his arms, most of them fresh and bloody.  

“You’ve….. Youve done this before? Robby when did this start?”

“I dunno. When I was 10 or something? I’d tell you to ask Mom but she won’t remember.” 

The teen pulled his arms away from Johnny’s hands. He dragged his sleeves back down and leant away from his dad.  

“Just go. I’m fine dad.”

“No Robby you’re not.” Johnny said firmly.

He was starting to get frustrated. 

“God, you’ve been doing this since you were 10?! Honestly Robby are you stupid? Why wouldn’t you say anything? Shannon used to see a shrink who would tell her all that wishy washy find your inner voice bullshit. Isn’t that supposed to help with all this mental health crap? I swear if I had been there-“

“But you weren’t”

“Excuse me?”

“You weren’t there. And even if you had been I doubt you or Mom would have been sober enough to notice”

“Watch your tone. I’m the one who has to help you right now. I don’t have to be doing this Robby.”

Robby laughed

“Damn right you don’t”

Before Johnny could say anything else Robby stood and pushed past the taller man towards the door.

Johnny grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?” “Out.”

Robby stomped through the apartment. His dr martens echoing through the hallway with every step. He threw the front door open to a worried Carmen and a confused Miguel.

“Robby! Hi Mijo, I’m making your favourite tonight. I-“

“Bye Carmen.”

Robby pushed past Miguel and walked down the driveway. Once he reached the street he broke into a sprint. 

#cobra kai #ck #robby keene #johnny lawrence #cobra kai fanfiction #robby keene angst <3 #hurt/comfort #PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ TWS ITS KINDA GRAPHIC #robby keene deserves better #jack’s fanfics :D #< new tag for my fics !!!

[gamblersdoll]

tw: 18+, this one may not be suitable for each reader since this is about periods or period sex. if this isnt your cup of tea, please DNI. this also may have a spoiler. again, if this isnt your thing, please dont read!!

sukuna was such a gross perv.

going off of the topic of sukuna being a cannibal, its safe to say that even if you fed him raw meat, blood still incorporated with it he would most likely eat it. and he knows and is so in love with the smell of blood.

so when you are days close to your period and/or have irregular periods, sukuna will tell you if its coming or not. it always is at the worse time too for him to call it out.

so when you are laying on the bed of your dorm and yuuji random brings you whatever comfort food you like, you question him.

“well.. sukuna said you started your uh.. cycle today?” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“… was i smelling bad today?” you ask.

poor yuuji having to explain in graphic detail.

and sukuna is only enjoying the days especially when you are the heaviest of your flow, because yuuji can smell it since his body was created for sukuna to have his body back. which meant very keen sense of smell.

“well, sukuna kinda told me your period was today, so i just thought to help out!” he says quickly.

“.. but did i smell bad?”

“how he described it and me, its just smells like blood and sweat, i dont think bad? he doesnt seem grossed out..”

so you layer yourself with so much perfume, hoping it hides away the period smell. only for such a short time. because you actually thought sukuna wouldnt be able to smell it?

“you thought you could hide this?” he snarls but grinning wickedly. he has two pair of arms pinning your arms down, and one of his ither arms holding your leg down. he takes a finger and presses it against your clothed cunt. and you wince from a menstrual cramp. “poor thing.. i should maybe help out.” he suggests.

“uh uh! hell no!” you shout, his hand immediately concealing your mouth. you muffle and groan, wincing from your cramps.

“i dont care about blood.. and you dont either, do you brat?” he whispers.

he was so gross, practically cupping your cheeks. he had your hips raised up to his belly mouth, and his belly mouth lapped up at your cunt. his abdomen was crimson red, but you were maybe three orgasms in. you gave credit where credit was due, you had stopped cramping for the time being. but your dignity wasnt there. and you were teased, sukuna kissing your neck as he somewhat praised you.

“doing well for someone who was so against this. and fuck do you excite me.” he whispers, massaging your knees and groaning. “you taste so good for a sorcerer.”

you look away in embarrassment, your clit puffed and numb from the constant sucking and slurping. “sukuna– im fine now!” you whisper yell, and he chuckled.

“hmm.. i guess you would know that.” he says, pulling away and wiping at your thighs. “dirty girl.”

you flutter your eyes open, groggy from the sleep. you shoot up, clothes still on and your body being clean, but no blood or tissues to be found. “fucking sukuna— doing that dreamy shit again!” you growl out, then wincing from the cramp you received from your uterus.

you pass yuuji, but he catching up to you. “hey! how are you feeling?” he asks you, only to see that a tiny sukuna face pops on his cheek, licking at his lips. “whyd you do that!?” yuuji screams, slapping his cheek. “i am so sorry!” he freaks.

fuck you, sukuna.

#jjk x reader #jjk spoilers #jjk #jjk x you #jjk smut #jjk leaks #jujustsu kaisen x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen smut #jjk sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #jjk ryomen #ryomen x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk fluff #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen #jjk yuji #jjk yuuji #yuuji x reader #itadori yuuji #yuji itadori #jujutsu itadori

[kkami-writes]

until the very end.

pairing. kim seungmin x gn!reader synopsis. At the end of the world, there’s truly no other group you’d rather be with than your friends. But as they drop dead, one by one, you can feel the threads of your sanity continue to snap and it’s only a matter of time before you actually go insane. Thankfully, Seungmin continues to be by your side until the very end of time. tags. zombie!au, apocalypse!au, ANGST, all hurt maybe a little bit of comfort

CW/TW. lots and LOTS of major character death, blood, gore, violence, guns, suicidal thoughts, suicide, vomit, murder, no explicit smut but implied/mentioned sex, dissociative moments, minsung + changlix if you squint, could be a "happy" ending, it really depends on how you see it tbh, kinda? graphic. please be warned ♡ word count. 8k A/N. please use your best judgement, if you do not think you can handle any of the warnings don't read! don't trigger yourself!! if you're that curious I'd be happy to give you the run down of the fic without the gory details. wanna support me? buy me a ko-fi!

It’s uncertain whether you’d consider yourself lucky that you had been tucked in bed, comfy and deep asleep, when shit had hit the fan. That was the last time you had the luxury to be asleep long enough to even have a dream. You don’t even remember what you had dreamed about as you dragged yourself out of bed, yawning and wiping away the drowsiness from your eyes.

In fact, you were certain you were still dreaming when you stumbled upon the gruesome sight in your kitchen. There was blood splattered against the once pristine white marble and your mother was hovering over what had once been your father, surrounded by a pool of what you assumed was his own blood. She was too busy devouring his guts to even notice you standing there, obscene slurping noises echoing in your ears.

The stench hits you like a truck and you’re suddenly losing whatever is even in your stomach after having just woken up, acid burning at your throat. The movement is enough to disturb your mother (can you really call her that anymore?) as she turns to you with a deep, inhuman growl, face covered in the blood of your father with bits of him still clinging to her mouth. You fall over backwards as she lunges at you, fight or flight instincts kicking in. You shove your foot against her chest as hard as you can, trying to push her away from you.

Frantically, you look around trying to find anything to use as a weapon, desperation starting to sink in. You grab onto the nearby lamp, holding onto it like a bat. It’s the only thing you had as you swing, smashing it into your mothers head and the crack that follows is sickening. The bulb shatters but you don’t stop, continuing to use the unconventional weapon until you’re certain the monster is dead. It’s like you black out for a few moments and by the time you’re back in your body, your mother is unmoving, head caved in. Your breath is heavy, panting and on the verge of hyperventilating. But you can’t focus on that right now.

You’re reminded by the zombie movies you used to watch with your friends as you force your body towards the kitchen to grab a knife. With a swing, you lodge it straight into it’s head. You won’t make the mistake of having it come back to life and catching you off guard.

A numbness takes over your body, brain going into autopilot as you finally notice the constant vibration of your phone in your pocket. The boys have been blowing up your notifications, hundreds of unread messages in your group chat, several individual messages and a couple of voice mails. You can only register that they were going to meet up at Bangchan’s house as he mentioned his father collected guns, a good place for them to start.

With your limbs feeling like lead, you begin packing a small backpack filled with essentials and a few pairs of clothes. Your body moves on its own as if trying to remind you that you have to keep going, that your friends are probably still alive and waiting for you. It’s the only semblance of hope you have and the only thing stopping you from just ending it right now.

You’re thankful Bangchan doesn’t live too far from your house, just a few blocks away. The neighborhood seems empty, a stark contrast to the usually lively streets. Silence rings in your ears, white noise filling the blank spaces in your mind. When you reach his house there are cars haphazardly parked in front.

You come through the door, feeling like a zombie yourself and honestly you might look like one too with the large splatter of your mothers blood splayed across the front of your white shirt. You might have forgotten to change in your haze of trying to get out of your house as fast as possible. This doesn’t stop Jeongin from throwing himself into your embrace once he finally sees you. He’s in tears, clutching onto you tightly, body trembling against you. Your own arms come to wrap around him, the emotional dam you had been holding onto finally breaks, the two of you falling to the ground sobbing. You’re surprised you had held on for as long as you did.

The other boys didn’t disturb you, letting the two of you to have a moment to bask in each other's presence, knowing the other was safe. Your relationship with Jeongin was strictly platonic. The boy meant the world to you, he was like your precious little brother and he had looked up to you as a bigger sibling. Now that the world had gone to all hell, you knew the two of you would end up being heavily reliant on each other.

You’re unsure how long the two of you just stayed in a heap on the floor but it’s Seungmin’s hand on your back that brings you back to the grim reality you were able to forget about for just a second. He’s looking down at you fondly but theres still a sense of sadness deep in his irises. “Come on you two, Bangchan is calling a group meeting,” He helps pull you up to your feet, giving you a quick squeeze in his arms. A silent message that he’s glad you’re safe.

Eight people gathered into the family room, half of them on the floor while the rest of them tried to squish in on the couch together. You take the seat next to Seungmin, letting your head rest on Jeongin’s shoulder.

When Bangchan walks into the room, he places a few guns and boxes of ammo onto the table. It makes a few of the boys turn pale just looking at the weapons.

“So. For now, I think it’s best if we stay here. There’s enough food to last us at least a couple of days and then you guys can move on. I’d suggest somewhere close to a convenient or grocery store. Best not to stay in one though in case other people show up,” He makes a lot of sense, being on the move was probably the best bet, but with your decently large group of friends it would be a disaster. It would be in your best interest if you guys stayed in one place until you ran out of resources. Only then should you move.

“Wait. You said ‘you guys can move’ and not ‘we’ can move. Was that on purpose?” Minho, the ever observant one had mentioned, giving Bangchan his usual blank stare. You had barely even noticed the slight change in wording.

“It was. I can’t go with you guys,”

“What? Why not??” At this all the guys were suddenly talking over each other, a frequent occurrence but one that was certainly not helpful at this moment. Bangchan, being the eldest, had always been someone everyone looked up to, someone they had gone to for guidance. He had been like a pseudo leader of the group, without him you’d worry everything would fall apart.

Bangchan lets out a sigh before rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to show off the clear bite mark in his forearm, complete with teeth indentations and blood still dripping from the wound. The veins surrounding the bite were starting to turn black, slowly inching up his arm.

A few of them gasp while the others are deadly silent, the implication of what should happen next is not lost to anyone.

“What…What do we do?” Jisung questions, his voice is shaky and you can tell he’s on the verge of a panic attack. Honestly, you’re not far behind.

“Like I said, stay here for a few days until the food runs out. Then you move,”

“What are we supposed to do without you?” Hyunjin stresses the last word. Bangchan just let’s out another sigh.

“You’ll be fine. Eventually you guys were gonna have to stop leaning on me. That time has just come up a lot sooner than we thought,”

Another silence overtakes the group, no one saying a word. A few of them were already crying, knowing the fate that awaits Bangchan.

“I want to ask for one last thing though. I….don’t think I can do it myself. Please, I need one of you to do it,” His strong voice breaks for the first time. It’s what clues you in that he’s scared, something he doesn’t want to show to the others. Especially now.

Jisung and Felix shake their heads vehemently. The others shout ‘No’ and ‘No way’. The noise all blends together in your ears, everyone saying they wouldn’t do it, that they couldn’t do it.

So it surprises you when you stand up. Jeongin tries to pull on your arm to get you to sit back down. You don’t budge.

“I’ll do it,”

Suddenly everyone’s eyes are on you, some of them blatantly gaping at your declaration. Even Bangchan seems surprised that you had volunteered but he knows that if no one else would do it, he could put his trust in you.

“Are you sure?” He still asks. He needs you to be absolutely sure that you know what you’re agreeing to. Bangchan searches your eyes for any hesitance but doesn’t find any.

“If no one else will, I'll do it,” You nod your head determinedly and Bangchan relents. It might be fucked up, but you figured if you could kill your own mother, maybe you could kill one of your closest friends.

Everyone takes a moment to say goodbye, there’s not a dry eye in the room except for you. You do your best to stay strong, especially for the others but you can feel yourself slipping, eyes burning with unshed tears. When Bangchan starts vomiting up something black, eyes bloodshot and his pupils starting to fog over, you know it’s time. The two of you move to the backyard, no one else following. Just hearing the gun shot from the house would be enough to haunt their dreams.

You pick up a gun before following him, checking to see if the safety was off. While you had never handled a gun before, you’re basing things off of movies and TV shows you had watched. You’d definitely have to learn how to use one fast.

As you face Bangchan in the backyard, that’s when you finally start to cry. Throwing yourself into the older’s embrace. He clings to you tightly and you realize that this was the last time he’d ever give you a hug. One of his warm comforting hugs that used to make you feel safe. This one however, does nothing to calm the tidal wave of nerves running through you. When you pull away he can see your hands trembling, the weight of what you were about to do weighs heavily against your chest. It feels hard to breathe.

Bangchan leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You guys will be fine. I know you will,”

He closes his eyes, looking rather peaceful as you bring the gun to his forehead. You hesitate for a second, suddenly having second thoughts but you push them down. Bangchan had trusted you to do this and if it was the last thing you could do for him, you would. You squeeze your eyes shut, gritting your teeth as you force yourself to pull the trigger. The gunshot echoes in your ears as you hear his body hit the ground with a thump. You quickly turn away, unable to see the dead body of your friend.

Seungmin is there when you come back into the house, his eyes are dry but the tear stains on his cheeks give him away. Neither of you have to say anything before he scoops you up in an embrace. You’re still shaking softly, barely keeping a grip on your slipping sanity. Right now, Seungmin is the only thing keeping you grounded.

That night you and Jeongin curl up tightly together in bed. He never lets go of the fist full of your shirt, even as he falls asleep, scared that you might disappear on him as well.

There’s something else you realize that night while you lie awake, the unspoken implications of you being the one to kill your friend. You had suddenly become the leader of your ragtag group in the absence of Bangchan

It’s the middle of the night, only a few days since you had laid Bangchan to rest in the backyard of his childhood home. Sleep had been eluding you of late, dark circles finding a permanent residence under your eyes. The cup of tea you had made remains untouched on the table, probably cold now as you stare into the black space of the kitchen. A figure slips into the chair next to you and you don’t have to look up to know that it’s Seungmin.

While maybe not as close as you were with Jeongin, you and Seungmin still had a rather special bond. The two of you were similar, bad with words and feelings. Because of that the two of you could practically communicate with each other without having to say anything. You would seek comfort in each other when it was hard to do with anyone else.

He slips his hand in yours, fingers intertwining before giving you a soft squeeze. A silent way to reassure you that he was there for you.

Seungmin’s hands are large against yours. He’s warm and he feels like coming home when it feels like you’ve all but lost your way. It’s moments like these when you’re reminded just why you had fallen for the boy in the first place. Reluctantly you get up to leave, needing to get any rest that you can.

You found that sleep came easier after these late night meetings with Seungmin.

A month passes by quick and slowly, things get better. Every day is a step in the right direction and everyone settles into a routine that works. Though nothing explicitly has been said since that fateful day, it was obvious that the boys now looked to you for any guidance. You try your best to be a good leader and surprisingly you fall into the role easily, but you couldn’t deny that it was incredibly stressful. You felt much more respect for the older for having to deal with everyone for years.

You guys had continued to move, following Bangchan’s last advice, only staying in one place until all the food and supplies in the local area had been exhausted. Currently, you were on a supply run with Felix and Changbin, the rest of the boys back at the house going over your inventory. The three of you had stocked up on food and medical supplies, mostly medications with everyone constantly feeling sick with the amount of stress they were constantly under.

Somehow in the thirty minutes you had spent collecting supplies a horde had managed to form outside the store. They moved slow, effectively blocking your way out. Changbin let out a groan to which Felix hit the older in order to shush him. The male still managed to be loud even in the most dire of situations, but he was the best for these runs. He could carry the most with his muscles and with him wielding a bat with nails, it wasn’t hard for him to cave a couple zombies brains in.

You try to form a plan to get out relatively unscathed. There were too many to take out and using a gun was out of the question. The only way out of the horde, was to walk through them.

“Sorry lix, I think we’re gonna have to do the thing,”

Felix makes a face but reluctantly agrees. You don’t know how long the horde is going to linger and it’s best if you’re home before night falls, lest any of the boys go stir crazy that you haven’t returned.

You drag one of the dead bodies over to the other two, using a pocket knife to slit the belly of the corpse. It’s guts spill out and pool onto the floor and Felix can’t help the gag deep in his throat, the poor boy had never quite gotten used to the putrid smell of the dead. You pull the freckled boy down, moving to cover his face with what you guys had started calling zombie goo. Not exactly the most creative name, but the only thing your combined one brain cell could think of.

The smell had kept the zombies away, registering you as one of them. It was your least favorite thing to do, but it worked and it was your best bet right now.

You turn to do the same thing to Changbin while Felix continues to rub the remnants of the zombie all over his shirt and jeans. Your clothes would be ruined but it was worth it if you could get through the horde unscathed. Felix does your face for you, his tiny fingers decorating your cheeks with an unidentified fluid that you were completely fine never knowing.

The three of you make your way slowly through the horde, deadly silent in fear that the dead amongst you will figure out you’re not one of them. It’s nerve wracking, to be so close to the things that can kill you in one bite, turning you into one of them. You’re reminded of your vivid nightmares, ones where you turn into a zombie and end up eating your friends. You’d wake up with the taste of blood on your tongue but it was your own, having bitten your lip too hard in your sleep.

Pushing away those horrid nightmares from your brain, you instead think about who you’re going home to. Jeongin and Seungmin, the rest of the boys who are waiting for you to return. It’s the only thing that keeps you going, so you push forward no matter how hard it feels.

A scream pulls you out of your thoughts completely and your whole body goes cold. It terrifies you to even look behind you because you know that scream. There’s pure terror in their deep voice. You turn to see that Felix has been tripped by a stray zombie on the ground, its bony fingers wrapped around his ankle as it pulls the boy down onto the concrete with a loud slam. Felix is pulling desperately in an attempt to yank his foot out of the zombie’s grip but it’s too late, teeth sinking into his leg. Felix lets out another deafening scream. This time the horde stops and turns towards the blonde, now making their way to where they can smell fresh blood.

“No! No!” Felix cries become more desperate, calling out to you and Changbin. “Help! Help! Oh god. . .Fuck! No! Please!” Changbin is frozen next to you and soon you can no longer even see Felix, the zombies crowding around their new victim. The squelch of blood and flesh being torn echoes in your ears. You know you’ll hear it in your nightmares.

Felix doesn’t stop screaming, even as you can hear him starting to struggle with his words, choking on his own blood. He all but begs and pleads for his life, desperate words that mean nothing to the zombies that eat away at his body. You have to look away or at least do something to help. But you can’t. You’re paralyzed in your spot watching in horror as you listen to your friend die. Felix. Yongbok. The sunshine boy, who with a smile on his face told everyone everyday without fail that they were all still alive. That we were surviving. That things will be okay as long as we’re together.

And now he was dead.

Changbin takes one step forward and you wrap your hand around his wrist, trying to pull him back.

“Bin…He’s dead,” The words feel hard to get out, they still don’t feel real. Changbin only shakes his head at you, trying to wiggle out of your grip. “Changbin! It’s too late!” You beg the boy, tears starting to run down your cheeks. He yanks his arm out of your grasp before pushing his backpack into your hands. “What are you doing?” You want to scream at him, yell at him but your voice only comes out broken and cracked.

“I can’t. I won’t…I’m sorry. I won’t let him die alone,” It’s Changbin’s last words to you as you watch him willingly get swallowed by the horde.

The only thing you can do is watch in disbelief. And you hate it. How many times were you going to have to just stand there and watch your friends die? Helpless to be able to do anything. It was Changbin’s choice but you had let him do it, you had let him basically kill himself.

It takes everything in you to finally turn around and begin the trek back to the safe house. Your feet feel heavy as you drag yourself away from your two friends.

Changbin pushes his way through the zombies as they try to grab at him but he doesn’t even care, he just knows he has to get to Felix. Before he’s gone. When he finally reaches Felix he has to fight the urge to look away. His pretty blonde hair is matted with blood and his legs are completely torn into.

Somehow Felix is still alive, but just barely, as if holding on so he could see Changbin just one last time. His skin is pale, eyes completely unfocused and turning white in the zombification process. Changbin barely recognizes that the zombies are tearing into his back. He doesn’t care, not even screaming at the searing pain as he reaches out for Felix’s hand, grasping onto it tight. Felix is ice cold, fingers twitching one last time before going completely limp in Changbin’s hand.

Changbin sobs, watching the light disappear from Felix’s eyes. “…I’m here, yongbokkie. I’m here,”

Seungmin is the one who greets you when you walk through the door. It reminds you of the first day of the apocalypse, when you had made it to Bangchan’s house feeling less alive than usual.

“Jeez, you stink. Did you have to do the thing?” He questions teasingly but subtly looks you over for any injuries. At your silence the boy looks up to see red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Seungmin calls out your name but you can barely hear him, Felix’s screams are still ringing in your ear. It isn’t until you feel his warm hands against your cheeks that you finally look at him, a concerned look swimming in his eyes.

“What happened?” That’s all it takes for you to break down, throwing yourself at the boy. Seungmin catches you and lowers you gently to the floor as you lean into his chest, sobbing. You shake your head vehemently, trying to deny the truth that you had seen with your eyes. Seungmin isn’t sure what to do, hands stroking softly at your back. Your loud cries alert everyone else and it doesn’t take long before they all come bounding into the entryway.

“…where’s Changbin and Felix?” The words are stuck in your throat, guilt weighing heavily against your chest, suffocating you.

It’s rather obvious of what has occurred. You coming home hysterical and without the other two, it’s not that hard to come to conclusions. Slowly the boys dissipate to grieve and process the news on their own but Seungmin doesn’t leave your side, even for a second. He lets you ruin the shirt he’s wearing with your wet tears and snot. Eventually Jeongin takes his spot and if possible you cling even harder to the younger boy.

You babble on about how it’s all your fault, how you should have at least tried to convince Changbin to not go. How maybe if you were in the back instead of the front, Felix would still be alive. Jeongin just holds you a little more tighter.

The rest of the night is a blur, vaguely remembering someone feeding you in order to get some semblance of food down your throat and the worlds hottest shower, all but burning your skin as some sort of punishment to yourself.

You’re tucked up in bed with Jeongin, a common occurrence as the two of you seek comfort in one another most nights. Usually it’s you who is doing the reassuring, petting Jeongin’s head and spewing empty promises that everything would be fine. Both of you knew it was lies but the words did their purpose.

Jeongin runs his fingers through your hair, helping to lull you to sleep. With heavy eyelids you give the boy one more glance before letting them fall shut. Exhaustion hits you all at once, both physically and mentally tired.

“Jeongin?” He hums. “You’ll never leave me right?” Your words are slightly slurred with sleep before you succumb to the temporary bliss of being unconscious. He glances over at you with sad eyes, running his thumb over your cheeks. They’re starting to sink in, the lack of a proper diet was starting to show - even on Jisung who has always had full cheeks.

A sigh falls from his lips before he leans in to presses a shaky kiss to your forehead. Jeongin doesn’t think he can keep this promise. No. He knows.

“I’m so sorry,”

You wake up to the sound of a gun shot.

It rattles you awake, heart threatening to rip right out of your chest. Your body moves on it’s own as you follow the noise down to the living room, pulse ringing in your ears and anxiety seeping into your veins. The loud sound of your footsteps against the stairs alert the boys who are already gathered around.

“Shit, get them away from here!” Hyunjin hisses and Minho is quick to try to push you back up the stairs. It only further annoys you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Bro, what the fuck? What’s going on?” You growl, annoyed with the sudden secrecy from your friends. Sleep muddles your brain, swatting at Minho for him to get out of your way. You can see Seungmin on the couch, face buried in his hands. His shoulder shake and you can vaguely hear his quiet sobs. “Seriously, what is-“

Then you see the body and you’re pretty sure you can feel your heart physically breaking. Your knees buckle underneath you, sending you crashing to the ground.

Jeongin is laid across the ground, blood splattered across the carpet and a gun in his hand.

With shaky hands you reach out towards the boy, your fingers pressing to his pulse point. It’s useless, he’s dead but your brain refuses to believe it. Your hands move to cup his cheeks and the way his head lulls backwards in your hands makes you sick. Jeongin has already gone cold and all you wanna do is bundle him up in a blanket until he’s warm again. You pull his head to your chest. Blood continues to spill from the hole in his head but you don’t care, nor do you care that you’re getting his blood all over your clothes.

The boys are looking away from you, dealing with their own pain as you rock the lifeless body in your arms. Small broken whimpers fall from your lips and silent tears run down your cheeks. You want to all but scream, yell at the world for taking Jeongin away from you but your throat is too raw. It feels like you’ve sat here for hours just crying and clutching the boy to you, your eyes have long gone dry, completely bloodshot.

Something in you snaps, perhaps your sanity, as you drop Jeongin to the ground. The sound alerts the boys to your actions, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. When you make a lunge for the gun, various voices are screaming at you, all of them throwing themselves at you. Minho kicks the gun out of your hand as Hyunjin and Jisung push you to the ground. They don’t mean to be so rough with you but you’re clearly not in the right headspace, if they have to rough you up a little to get you to think straight, they’ll do it.

You fight against them, screaming and sobbing while trying to push Jisung off of you and grabbing at Hyunjin’s hair, the latter hissing at you. The three of you are all but wrestling on the floor, swearing at the two boys who are trying to subdue you. Your own voice rings in your ears, yet somehow you manage to hear Seungmin’s quiet call of your name.

His effect on you is immediate, stopping the attack against your friends before glancing up at the boy who has come closer to you. His voice is surprisingly even, nothing giving away to the turmoil in his heart. Jisung and Hyunjin pull away from you when they notice that you seem to have calmed down for now, watching the other boy intensely.

Seungmin replaces them as he comes to kneel in front of you, bringing his large hands to cup at your smaller face.

“Please…” Seungmin begs, his voice finally breaking “Don’t. You- You can’t leave me too, okay? I need you,” It’s the way he emphasizes the word need that has your attention.

The other three can see that the two of you need a moment, they move to lift Jeongin’s body and carries him out to the back to be properly buried. Minho doesn’t forget to take the gun with him, lest you decide to try again to follow your best friend.

You sniffle pathetically as you glance into Seungmin’s pretty eyes, which are practically baring his soul to you. You have to look away from his gaze, head shaking softly and hands coming to grab at his shirt.

“Why?” Your voice is croaks, hoarse from screaming. “Why? Why? Why?” You repeat over and over again, almost like a mantra. It’s the only thing in your head. Why would anyone ever need you? Especially someone like Seungmin.

“Because I love you,”

He says it so simply and your head snaps up so fast that Seungmin worries that you might have given yourself whiplash. Your eyes search his, trying to find any trace of a lie but you know that you won’t find one. Seungmin has never lied to you. He can see the small sparkle in your eyes, the sliver of hope you carry.

“You know that right? That I love you?” He murmurs as he comes impossibly closer, noses touching and you can feel his warm breath against your chapped lips.

You let out a shaky exhale. “You…You do?” Your voice is no higher than a whisper, as if you spoke it louder it wouldn’t be true. He lets out a soft huff of laughter. You had always adored his laugh, especially the evil laugh he would let out when he was being a menace. It was one of your favorite things about him. The other being his smile, even when he had braces. He had found them dorky and ugly, but you just thought he had looked just as handsome with the metal.

Seungmin tucks some hair behind your ears, looking down at you fondly. “I do. So much,” He leans in just an inch so he can finally press his lips to yours. It’s just a quick peck, both of your lips are far to dry to have an enjoyable kiss at the moment, but he couldn’t hold back anymore.

When he pulls back he notices that you’ve shed a few more tears and he can only hope that they’re happy ones, even with your current situation. He wipes them away with his thumb.

“Minnie,” He hums in response. “Promise me. Promise me right now that you will never leave my side,” Your tone has an edge of desperation to it. Even if it’s impossible you need to hear him say it. Even if he has to lie to you for the first time.

Seungmin leans in to press a kiss to your forehead before keeping them pressed together. “I promise. It’s you and me. Until the very end,”

After spending a few more moments together the two of you finally make your way towards the backyard. Jeongin looks peaceful inside the hole Minho had dug for him, hands held together with some flowers you assume Hyunjin had picked for him. It’s the only consolation you have - Jeongin is no longer in pain, he’s in a much better place now. He’s with his hyungs.

They would take care of him now.

You have to look away as they begin to fill the hole with dirt, burying your face into Seungmin’s chest. You can’t bear to watch, the finalization that your best friend is not coming back.

Jeongin is gone.

And he took half of your heart and the broken strings of your sanity with him.

When you walk into the kitchen the next morning, clad in only Seungmin’s shirt, both Jisung and Hyunjin give you identical smirks behind their cup of coffee. You roll your eyes at dumb and dumber, flipping them off as you grab your own serving of caffeine. Your reaction only spurs them on as they giggle manically.

“God you two are annoying,”

“Yeah and you’re loud,” Hyunjin snickers and Jisung has the audacity to laugh. Your cheeks turn red as you clear your throat, trying to look like their words had no effect on you.

“You’re one to talk Jisung, pretty sure you woke up everyone that one night,” You quip back and the boy practically chokes on his drink. Hyunjin wacks him on the back, now giggling at the expense of the other.

“The point is. We’re happy for you. It’s about damn time. Can’t believe it took the literal end of the world though,”

“Yeah, I thought I was gonna die with all this mutual pinning and constant heart eyes,”

You roll your eyes again at their antics but your smile gives away just how fond of them you are and even if they’re annoying you’re happy to know that they’re happy for you. Except for when Seungmin waddles into the kitchen half asleep and no shirt on, coming over to you to lean his whole body weight on you. Your cheeks flare up once again and it makes the two boys holler at your reaction. Both you and Seungmin flip them off.

“Ugh, actually I take it back. This is a bad idea, you two are basically the same,”

Seungmin lets out a soft laugh before pressing a kiss to your temple, finally moving off you to make a cup of coffee. You simply observe him, watching as he swipes at Jisung for probably saying something stupid and Hyunjin’s high pitched laugh echoes in the room. A smile graces your lips.

It’s for just a moment that you think that everything is going to be ok.

Of course, the world loves proving you wrong.

A week goes by without any bumps, things falling back into place slowly after Jeongin’s death. Seungmin can’t quite explain it but something still feels wrong, this nagging feeling in the back of his brain. On more than one occasion he’d find you in the bedroom you two shared now, sitting on the edge and just staring at the wall, eyes glassed over. It was like you were a million miles away. You couldn’t even hear him when he’d call out your name several times until he has to shake you back into your body.

Every single time you’d tell him you were ok, just tired but Seungmin didn’t believe you. If he’s honest, he’s scared. He can’t help but feel like he’s losing you even when you’re right in front of him. Something dark is trying to take you away from him, but he’ll be damned if he lets that happen.

Things get worse though.

Tensions have been running high. You easily snap at the smallest things, the slightest inconvenience sends you reeling. Seungmin is the only one who can calm you down, the boys practically avoiding you when you’re about to blow. On days like this he feels like his grip on you slips even more.

Not only that but Jisung and Hyunjin have been at each others throats nonstop. It reminds you of freshman year of high school, when the two boys could not get along, constantly bickering and fighting. It had nearly torn your friend group apart.

So you’re not surprised to come back home from a quick supply run with Seungmin to a yelling match between the two of them. Dumb insults are being thrown around and you are sure that there is an even dumber reason as to why they were fighting.

Minho is off to the side, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose and his eyes squeezed shut. You can tell the older is so done with the two of them, having probably already tried to stop them but had all but given up.

The two are in each others faces, guns waving around in an unsafe manner as they practically spit in each others faces.

“What the fuck is going on,” You cut them off, your voice piercing. You want to make it clear that you are not in the mood to deal with this.

“Fuck you Han Jisung,” They ignore you, continuing their fight as if you had never even entered the room.

“You’d like to wouldn’t you? Is that why you’re always trying to pick a fight? This isn’t how you get someone in bed with you Hwang Hyunjin,”

Hyunjin’s nostrils flare as he pushes Jisung back harshly. You’re starting to get real annoyed at their childish fight. They were being so loud you wouldn’t be surprised if zombies started showing up at their ruckus. You’re about to tell them to cut it out before a gunshot rings out, startling everyone in the room. You flinch and instinctively duck at the sound. Seungmin quickly throws himself over to you, hugging your frame to his body in order to shield you.

But when you look up it’s not you who has been shot. Hyunjin is still standing somehow, a hand pressing to his neck but it does nothing to stop his blood from spurting from the wound. His eyes are blown wide in shock, staring at Jisung in disbelief. The latter has already dropped the gun, having gone white as a sheet, his hands trembling.

Hyunjin seems to be trying to say something but the only thing coming out is gurgles and broken words, but you’re pretty sure everyone can hear the strained ‘Jisung’ that slips from his blood stained lips. It doesn’t take long before his strength leaves his body, falling to the ground, dead.

The room is deadly silent in the aftermath. No one moves a single inch.

“I’m- oh my god. Fuck I. I thought the safety was on. I didn’t. I didn’t think. I- Oh my god,” Jisung beings to ramble, his voice wavering in disbelief at what has just happened. He’s on the verge of a panic attack or a mental break down. Minho attempts to reach out to him to try and comfort him but Jisung simply slaps his hand away, scared that he might kill the older on accident too.

You make your way over to Jisung, no emotion showing on your face, nothing to give away what exactly is going on in your mind. In fact, there’s only one thing on your mind when you pull the gun out from your holster, pushing it into Jisung’s temple.

His eyes go wide, shaking his head as he pleads for his life. “Wait. No. You can’t be s-serious! It was an accident! I didn’t. I did-“ You don’t have time to hear his excuses. Your friend is dead on the floor over some arbitrary argument. In your jumbled mind, this is the only thing that makes sense.

You pull the trigger.

Jisung flops dead next to Hyunjin and the next thing your brain registers is Minho slapping the gun out of your hand. It feels oddly like deja vu and you’re brought back to the vivid memories of Jeongin’s death. Minho’s fingers are curled into the collar of your shirt, rage overtaking his features.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU,” He shakes you rather violently in his grasp. You still haven’t shown a single emotion on your face.

“Hm? What do you mean? Jisung killed Hyunjin, so therefore we should put Jisung down. Isn’t that only fair?”

“Fair? Do you fucking hear yourself? You just killed Jisung for no reason!”

“And didn’t Jisung just kill Hyunjin for no reason?”

“So what? We just go around killing friends if they make a mistake?”

“A mistake that cost another one of our friends lives,”

“So what you’re saying is that we should have put a bullet in your brain the moment you didn’t come back home with Felix and Changbin?” Your eyes narrow dangerously, snarling at the male in front of you.

“How was that my fucking fault? Felix was tripped by a zombie and Changbin went back after him. That was HIS choice. You can’t blame me for that” Minho looks like he’s seconds from strangling you. So you make it worse, something you were good at. “what are you so fucking mad for? Upset you can’t get your dick wet anymore?”

Minho slaps you straight across the face. You know you deserve it.

“Fuck you, you crazy fucking bitch,” Minho spits in your face before pushing you back, stomping away.

Even though he had hit you with as much strength as he could, you can barely feel where he had struck you. Your body is all too numb to register anything.

Seungmin has been eerily quiet this whole time, not saying anything until he comes over to you, wrapping his arms around your middle to pull you flush to his chest. Your head falls back onto his shoulder, staring at the white ceiling.

“Do you think I’m crazy Min?” Your voice is quiet, a distinct tiredness laced under your words.

“You did what you had to do love,” He mutters, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You both know he didn’t answer the question.

It doesn’t even surprise you when you find Minho gone the next day, half of your supplies missing. You can’t find it in you to even care, he could have taken everything if he really wanted to. You’re sat on the edge of the bed with Seungmin beside you, your eyes foggy as you stare at the white wall. He’s got your hand in his lap, thumb tracing over your knuckles.

Seungmin can no longer ignore the fact that the person he had fallen in love with was gone. Lost somewhere inside the recesses of your brain, tangled in the strings of your sanity. Still, Seungmin is so deeply and irrevocably in love with you. That would never change. No matter how far you fall, he’d be there to pick you up.

Besides, he knows it’s not your fault. You’ve been pushed too far, past the point of no return.

You know it too. How many times have you told Seungmin to just leave? That there was no way he could be in love with the person you had become. Seungmin would be better off by himself, far away from you. But he’d just hold you a little tighter, run a hand through your hair and whisper how much he loved you. The two of you would spend hours like this, wrapped up in each other, trying to pretend the world outside didn’t exist anymore.

In the end you didn’t really want him to leave. You were too selfish. You need Seungmin.

And he needs you just as much. Which is why he easily agrees to your little plan.

The two of you find yourselves on the roof of the nearest tallest building, standing mere inches away from the ledge. You watch as the sun sets, an orange red glowing in the sky. Had you not known the earth was all but doomed, you’d find it beautiful. Especially for your last moments.

You turn to face Seungmin, only to find he’s already looking at you, that adoring look in his eyes. It makes you wonder how he can still look at you like that, when you’re making him do something like this.

“Are you sure?” You ask, voice rough. Though if you were honest, everything about you was rough now. Tangled hair, sunken in cheekbones and permanent dark circles under your eyes. The clothes around your frame were baggy from how much weight you had lost since this all started. Seungmin still finds you beautiful.

He comes over to slide his palm against your jaw and you lean instinctively into his warm touch. It amazes you that his simple touch could bring you so much comfort.

“Of course,” And he says it with such conviction that you don’t argue. You’re far too tired to argue anyways. As selfish as it is, you don’t think you could do it without Seungmin anyway.

Seungmin’s watching you intently, stroking your cheeks. He knows how tired you are, how much pain you’re in, to the point where you just want everything to stop. You’ve suffered so much, the burden of being their leader was too heavy for you alone to carry. Despite the circumstances, Seungmin thinks you had been a good leader, you had done the best you could. You had sacrificed everything for them, including your sanity. Seungmin is proud of you. He always would be.

All Seungmin wants is for you to be happy. He’d give you the whole world if it hadn’t gone to utter shit.

So if this is what you need? If this is what it takes for you to finally be at peace? Then he’ll do it. He’d do anything for you.

Seungmin pulls your face forward, slotting his lips against yours. You wrap your arms around him, letting your head tilt to deepen the embrace, making sure he can feel all the love you have for him pouring into him. Until it seeps into his bones. Because you know. You both know that it’s your last.

Seungmin had made love to you earlier, after the two of you agreed on the plan. You both had needed it, wanted it. It was just another last thing you two would do together. The way he held you afterwards had made you cry, how he held you like you were the most precious thing to him in the world. It had made you feel guilty, that you just couldn’t bring yourself to continue going on. Seungmin knew, and he could never be so selfish to make you go on when you simply couldn’t.

Besides, he was selfish himself. Seungmin doesn’t think he can bear watching you further lose yourself to the darkness.

The two of you pull away and you slide your hand into his. He gives your conjoined hands a gentle squeeze. Even now he’s still reassuring you. The two of you step up on the edge, the sun having just fallen over the horizon.

Seungmin feels oddly at peace, standing here with you. At least he was putting his fate into his own hands and there was no one he’d rather be with then you in this moment.

Because at the end, it was Seungmin who had stayed with you. Who had promised you forever and Seungmin has never lied to you.

“Minnie?”

He hums in response.

“I love you,”

“I love you too. Until the very end,”

Both of you lean forward.

#stray kids #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #seungmin angst #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids reactions #stray kids fanfic #skz x reader #kim seungmin angst #stray kids au #stray kids x reader #seungmin x you #skz angst #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz

[saelique]

chapter one. ignorance is bliss

˚｡⋆୨୧˚ tw + cw ノ dark content・character death・graphic descriptions of gore + blood・mentions of nausea・reader implied to have put fyodor on a pedestal・overall kinda not suitable 4 all audiences・12- are highly recommended to not interact

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈・⟡・┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

𓂃 ࣪˖ 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒 the library floor as two children sat behind a bookcase, reading a novel together. 

the evening light shone through the window and the sun prepared to set. but the two were still immersed in their own fairytale world, away from reality. 

the boy whispered the words in the book, while the girl turned its pages, the sound of paper repeatedly flipping every few minutes gently was comforting. 

it was really the perfect spot to relax. the perfect amount of golden light and it was warm in the late autumn season, where leaves began to turn yellow, red, and orange. leaving trees bare and naked. 

“so what happened next ?” the little girl urged when he paused for breath, pressing closer to her friend to try and read the printed foreign words on the book. “be patient.” he gently scolded, but all the same continued the fairytale. 

“the prince then went on a far, far journey to search for his beloved, and he suddenly-“ 

three knocks on the door. “young master ? your dinner is almost ready, please come out to the dining room to eat.” a maid called through the wooden door. and the children were brought back to reality, the fairytale world fading away once again. 

“eh ? already ?” the girl sighs, her lips forming into a pout. “I’ll read the rest of the story for you soon. so don’t worry, okay ?” the boy reassured. “I’ll be back soon. so feel free to keep on reading, okay ?” he reached over and ruffled his companion’s hair lightly, messing it up. 

“hmph ! you better keep your promise !” “of course.” and with that, he left, leaving the girl alone in the library.

years passed, and autumn passed and winter stopped by, snowflakes falling down rapidly. truly a shame that the young master couldn’t go outside to play in the snow. after all, he was too sickly a child to even move too much. 

the Dostoevsky family was truly one that is easy to pity. a frail and ill heir, a absent father that was away for work, almost never home, and a mother that lost her own mind and even called her own child the devil. 

you blew your hot breath against the ice frosted window and drew shapes on it, small hearts and stars. 

it was freezing today, and fyodor was most likely in bed, having yet another high temperature fever. 

you missed the crisp days where you two would just sit down and read books together. it was a wonderful thing to experience, and you sometimes fell asleep on his shoulder, his voice lulling you to rest after a long day of cleaning and helping to tend to him. 

Slowly, the snow melted away, leaving the earth to slowly grow back its plants and flowers. spring had finally arrived. the birds sang happily, their songs cheerful and pretty. 

time passed and from a little girl who ran around and hid away from her chores, you turned into a mature yet aloof young maid, always forgetting about her duties.

you changed, while Fyodor stayed the same. he was still the calm, collected, mature and reliable young master he always was. 

you thought he was perfect, with his pale and soft skin, pretty magenta eyes who would soften whenever he sees things he likes, pure black hair that was left quite long, and a slender figure. 

you always thought that he would look beautiful as a girl, and you did tell him once.

you remember him staring at you in shock before gently patting your head. “I suppose I would.” he agreed, and returned back to reading his book while you left his room after giving him his medication that the doctor prescribed a while ago. 

you really did think he was perfect. 

running a orphanage for the less fortunate children, going out for visits when he could in town, a popular social figure. 

but that very image of him shattered like fragile glass, breaking into millions of little pieces, never able to piece or fix again.

Because you had witnessed him push down a new maid down the stairs. 

it happened too quickly, in a flash. So much so you still cant believe if you dreamt of it or not. they were both just chatting by the stairs, the maid blushing and giggling while tucking her dark brown hair behind her ear.

then she was shoved down, the sounds of a heavy object dropping down the floor. red painted the wooden steps, some of it slowly dripping down the steps, creating a gorey sight. 

you felt your blood turn ice cold and sweat ran down your face, hands and neck, swallowing your saliva before running away, suppressing the blood curdling scream that was itching your throat, before quickly shoving the apron you were wearing into your mouth, you rushed back to your room as quietly as possible, trying to process what just happened moments prior. 

digging your nails into the palm of your hand hard, creating small crescent moons as you shook and trembled, teeth chattering as you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head to clear the horrible, horrible image that imprinted on your mind.

you quickly breathed in and out, feeling as if your heart would burst out of your chest, dizziness and a headache starting to form.

was that really the same person who would read you fairytales and laugh at your horrible jokes ? who would constantly cover up for you ?

you wanted to throw up, a feeling of unease and a feeling of nausea in your stomach as you lurched, instinctively slapping your hand to your mouth as you shuddered.

you should really stop thinking so much about this.

clumsily getting up from your cowering position from the floor with the help of leaning on your bed, you managed to stumble through the door and leave, making sure that no one saw your disheveled and nervous form

making your way to the garden with a little trouble, you arrived there with a sigh.

“[name] ! c’mon ! help me with these weeds !” svetlana called, snapping you out of your dazed trance, holding a basket of weeds, her hands sore and red from the pulling.

“hm ? you look really sickly [name] are you okay ?” svetlana asked, worried as she placed the back of her hand to your head, staring at your complexion.

“n-no- I- uhm- well- I-“ you stuttered over your words as you felt tears almost threatening to spill over, biting your lower lip.

“wha-? hey, hey, it’s okay [name], calm down/ I’ll fetch-“

“maybe she’s suffering from heatstroke ?”

a cool and kind voice interrupted the both of you. you stiffened, your pupils dialating as you shakily turned your head to reveal who you wanted to avoid the most.

“hello, surprised to see me ?”

he smiled, one that radiated of innocence and kindness. one that made you sick to your core. how many times had he attempted murder ? how many people had he killed ? judging by his act, it wasn’t his first one. Fyodor then coughed into his handkerchief. A few droplets of blood on it that was most likely his.

oh god what if you were next ?

you had to live. you can’t die yet. you didn’t even get the chance to go to the capital and have fun. and that romance novel you’ve been reading, how many chapters have you read ? oh yeah. you just started ! and the plot twist ! you’ve been saving it for days !

“oh ! young master ? aren’t you supposed to be in bed ? and I suppose . . . today is a hot day after all.” she sighed, before gently taking your arm. “mmm, stay safe you two. thank you for working hard today as well. I’ll see you around.” and with that, he went off to god knows where. Probably to hide any evidence leading to him.

“I’ll bring you a wet cloth, how about that ?” svetlana kindly suggested, while you sat there in silence. 

the day ended with you in bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. you ended up finding that corpse again with svetlana when the both of you headed to your room. Only when you saw that body this time did you let out the scream that was begging to be heard. you kept on shaking, seeing the mass amounts of blood and and everyone ended up concluding that it was a accident. that maid had quite a reputation for being clumsy after all.

you sighed and closed your eyes, letting sleep catch up with you and catch you in its embrace.

you woke up hyperventaling. tears streaming down your face and sweat clinging onto your nightclothes. it was still too early, with the sun only starting to rise and the dark night sky fading to a lighter colour. Your heart thumping more and more as you tried to take deep breathes in. 

Who knew dreaming of being murdered would feel so real and scary ? the time for you to head up to his room arrived and as you took the tray, the feeling of nausea filled you. you wanted to tell someone, to confine in someone close like svetlana.

but no one would believe you. you couldn’t even believe it yourself. now every trip to deliver him medicine was only going to petrify you, your legs shaking as the floorboards creaked and twisted under your steps.

the only reasonable thing to do was to avoid him of course. but how long could you keep this up without him noticing. his eyes that usually provided you comfort now only added to your paranoia, that he would one day decide to murder you.

why would he even kill you though ? there wasn’t any reason to kill that maid after all. she never made any trouble or inconvenienced anyone. so, what was his goal ?

you shuddered as you walked up the stairs. it was best to feign ignorance. then run the fuck away from this hell hole the second you gathered enough money.

ignorance truly was bliss wasn’t it ?

you were so going to shoot yourself in the head if you see another goddamn murder again. holding the tray tightly, you placed it down the floor and knocked.

“young master ?” you gulped, “I’ll leave your medicine here. I’ll go now.” drawing in a sharp breath, you ran away as fast as you could, before he had the chance to open the door or reply.

you needed to get out this place quickly before you get killed in the worst way possible. and fast.

“hm ? she already left ?” a young man muttered, before bending over to pick up the tray that was placed on the floor. “she didn’t see what happened yesterday . . . right ?”

“I’ll have to kill her before she tells anyone then. just to be safe . . .”

just be wary and be on your fight or flight mode at all times, okay ?

#౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ : novels ! #bsd x reader #Fyodor x reader #dostoevsky x reader #fyodor dostoevsky bsd #fyodor angst #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd x reader angst #bungo stray dogs x reader fluff #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd fyodor

[verychaoticlife]

Jenny Vi Pham and her game: Going live

TW: Suicide topic, mention of ED, manipulation, death

I know it's not Twitter or tik tok but I think people need to know about this. This post is mostly about Jenny's new game even if she didn't wait for this game to be problematic. Also, this post is about Jenny Vi Pham and only her the others did a great job and I hope they got a lot of money!

1) The story in general

In the first place, the story feels rushed, I'm not the best writer but you can tell that Jenny did not do her own recherche about anything for this game starting with how fast the guy gets followers for doing almost nothing to the hanging ending (I'm talking about this in a minute). The whole story is a mix of Needy Girl Overdose ( the fact he wants 1M in a week and he is helped by his partner) and DDLC for its "disturbing" ending. Ok, it's great you take inspiration for your game but it's so similar and made not in a great way that the game get's boring and cringe really fast. Talking about cringe PLEASE stop making the MC act like you and PLEASE stop making the whole game feel like a booktok comment section. Also to finish this first part the relationship between the MC and the guy. The whole time it just feels like the MC controls everything about this little white hair dude it just feels like I'm playing a toxic relationship simulator (talking about the fact that we aren't guiding him for a better streamer career but we are imposing him stuff like "ban her from modding" or even when he have to apologize and the MC literally choose for him and when he say "I don't think it's a great idea" the MC doesn't listen to him and force him). He has 0 personality unless "I'm gonna take my shirt off on stream and I love my girlfriend" is personality to you. Plus the fact that he is sexualized by everybody in the game is just so sad he kinda deserves better. 

2)The hanging and homicide ending

Now let's talk about real problematic things. First, the hanging ending: so if you don't know he decides to kill himself because he got bullied on the internet cause he apparently hates people with cancer (omg I wish I wasn't serious rn). So yeah the whole reason why he did this is dumb and it explains why I think the story is rushed but you know maybe before he was mentally unstable and it was the event that finally broke him. Nope, he killed himself just like that, there is no indication that he is feeling bad, it just happened. The way she just killed him was disgusting. Suicide is a very serious topic, normally you get signals of those things,  this guy is not killing himself like that. It just feels like the ending was here to just shock people and it did I was shocked because it happened without warning, it was so out of place. I don't really get words to describe this scene cause the picture was very graphic kinda like DDLC but when you play it you know what is going to happen here no and maybe I act like snowflakes but you have to put warnings on those things. Same for the Homicide ending it kinda happened like the hanging ending out of pocket and was very graphic. After playing for a second time normally you get an interaction with the cat (introduced at the start of the story and then forgotten) AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE SAID?? "yeah I can bring him back if you leave 5,000 rates on itch.io". This whole thing is just crazy to me, you killed him TWO times in the worst way possible (creepypasta writer got competition) and you ask for a good ending if they give good rates... Like what?? when do you think it's ok? You are using his death and his suicide as a way to get reviews and you think it's normal?

3) Her fans and her 

(here some of the information came from Elduator on Twitter)

So after being shocked about the game I decided to read some reviews and saw people talking about her Twitter. It keeps getting worse. First, the way she mocks her fans is crazy it kinda reminds me of that fan/creator relationship in the Vtuber community "you're a clown to me and you like" type of relation she got with her fans. (some proof)

In the first tweet, she is making her fans looks like fools it's obviously a way to encourage them to give more reviews and that's so weird "he needs you" This is just pure manipulation knowing that her fans are probably young people it just making it worse. Kinda the type of manipulation in the second tweet ngl but here she is bringing her team which kinda tells us that some of her team workers support her way of acting. 

this message speaks for itself, disgusting.

She also makes those kind of tweets here again just pure manipulation and making rates on someone suicide 

And here a compilation of some very weird tweet.

The worst is literally the ED joke like what the hell?? and no one said anything it's so problematic in so many levels. Also again the hypersexualisation of her characters but sadly it's something normal on her twitter.

Let's talk about her fans cause they are also CRAZY. They encourage the hypersexualization of her characters, create fake accounts to make more reviews (which get obviously deleted) and are also encouraged by Jenny. They are also a bunch of creeps in general on itch.io or the discord server (proof from Elduator on Twitter)

(i can't fixe the bad quality so look here for better quality)

Ok, I think I said everything I'm thinking about posting it on twitter but someone already did so idk

bye!! XX

#going live #problematic #going live! #yeah ik it's not twitter #visual novel #otome game #itch.io #error143 #jenny vi pham #going live! game

[scaredgirlsilly]

my short story!

edit: finally a title!

One and the Other- by scaredgirlsilly

anyways this is like really the only story ive ever really finished and im really proud of it and like the thought process behind it so if you read it and have any questions PLEASE ASK ME OH MY GOD I WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS TO PEOPLE SO BADLY!

tell me what you liked, tell me what you didnt (tho be gentle/constructive cause it *is* like. my first every finished story lol) just fucking. talk to me about it please 😭😭

edit again: im planning on moving it to my (currently under construction) neocities so i can have way more control over the formatting than the like. tiny amount of options that mobile tumblr gives jdhsjdhajd. there is heavy use of capitalization and im not sure how to increase the readability in those sections. sorry and hopefully i can make it better when i port it to my neocities ^u^

i need to figure out how to say things in not so many words this is wild 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

anyways uhhhh

TW/CW: self harm, semi graphic descriptions of violence, mind control?? idk im really bad at this but its like. kinda fucked up KDHSKFJ so just yk. be warned

A young man walks through the hallway of a crumbling building, the constant familiar smell of mildew and blood filling his nose. His legs burn with every step, his hands rough and bloodied from running them along the wall as his only guide. The tear- and sweat-soaked blindfold across his face being the only relief from the sweltering heat. The air is oppressively still, like it is trying to hold him in place, trying to persuade him to give up his search for an exit. He does not know how he got here, nor how long he has walked these twisting halls and confusing chambers, but he knows one thing for certain. He will not make it out alive.

And he is correct.

After following the same wall for what feels like hours, he hears the sound off in the distance. A deep, gravelly scratching, like dragging an ax on stone. It has been following him for days. Always just behind him and to the side. He quickens his pace, stumbling over what seems like a piece of debris in his path.

He runs and runs, the sound never leaving. Just as it has been for as long as he can remember, always just behind him. Never slowing down, but never coming closer.

After a while, his legs give way. He falls to the ground, scraping his hands and knees on the hard stone below him. The sound continues. Grinding metal just off to the side, as loud as ever. At this point, he welcomes whatever is chasing him. Perhaps it will give a swift end to his horrible time in this cruel place.

Oh how naive a thought. He will not be let off that easy.

He lays there on the ground, hands and knees bloodied, tears resoaking his blindfold as thoughts race through his mind.

Will I ever make it out?

How long have I been here?

I feel like I'm going in circles again.

What does it want from me?

By this time he has already guessed correctly that the building he inhabits is supernatural, but he has yet to experience the true vitriol it holds for him, and the horrors it is barely holding at bay just to toy with him.

After what feels like hours laying on the ground, he finally stands up. Its a slow process, both because of his withered figure and his broken willpower, but anything beats sitting there for the rest of forever. Or thats his reasoning at least. It doesn't really matter.

As he goes to find the wall he has been using as his benevolant guide, he finds nothing.

God damnit not again!

After flailing like an idiot for a few more minutes he gives up his search. He feels up his arm for the grooves he has been carving with his nails for days. Pain is the only thing that grounds him nowadays. With the endless twisting corridors and the seemingly randomly changing geomentry of this space he finds himself in, all he can do is wait for it to end. Sadly for him, it will not end.

Standing there, knees shaking, feeling exposed once again, he decides to try and lift his spirits. He puts his hand over his eyes (a rather redundant gesture what with the blindfold) and holds his other arm out, pointing straight ahead. He then spins for a bit, then stops. Seemingly satisfied with the direction hes chosen, he takes a step forward and continues his journey.

Sadly for him, a large trap door opens underneath him after only 3 shaky steps.

He screams, a noise the walls have grown accuatomed to at this point, falling for over 5 seconds. Then, *crunch*!

A pitiful yelp erupts from him. Everything hurts. He can feel the blood in his mouth. He feels like he is going to die. But he will not. He is not allowed yet. I will not allow him to.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" he screams, spitting blood everywhere.

There is no answer. Just silence. A silence like no other he has experienced. Like the very air around him is avoiding him like the plague.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME??"

No answer.

"FINE! I GIVE UP! YOU WIN! You win... You win..."

He starts sobbing, loud and ugly.

"You... win..."

He goes to take his blindfold off. Probably to make a shitty little noose or something.

He decides against it.

"that wasn't me... THAT WASN'T ME YOU FUCKER WHERE ARE YOU??"

Pure vitriol fills his voice, though that might be the blood from his punctured lungs.

"I've been here for long enough. I can feel the walls breathing. I can feel the air avoid me like the plague."

Plagiarism. Wow. How low you have stooped.

"Whuh... What?"

I said that word for word a little while ago.

"Who... Who are you?!"

Fuck you.

"...What?"

I said

FUCK YOU

HE DIGS HIS FINGERNAILS INTO HIS ARMS ONCE AGAIN, THE ONLY SOLACE HE HAS IN THIS MISERABLE LIFE.

HE DIGS AND CARVES INTO IT RELEASING A BEAUTIFUL RIVER OF HIS OWN BLOOD. OH HOW HE WISHES HE COULD SEE IT RIGHT NOW.

"What do you want from me?" HE SOBS LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH HE IS.

HE DOESN'T KNOW. HE CAN NEVER KNOW. CAUSE HES TOO FUCKING STUPID. JUST A STUPID LITTLE ANT MADE TO BE STEPPED ON. MY STUPID LITTLE SNAIL THAT I POUR MOUNTAINS OF SALT ON.

"Please..."

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU HE TAKES HIS HANDS AND PUTS THEM AROUND HIS THROAT AND SQUEEZES AND SQUEEZES AND NEVER STOPS FOREVER AND EVER.

"Pl- please- What did I ev- ever do?"

YOU EXISTED! YOU ARE WHAT IM STUCK WITH YOU MISERABLE SACK OF FUCKING DOG SHIT! YOU ARE WHAT I AM FUCKING STUCK WITH! YOU ARE ALL THAT EXISTS! YOU ARE MY MISERABLE MUTT I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO TAKE CARE OF AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WILL TAKE IT OUT ON YOU FOREVER! I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU!

Please

OH DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SHIT! LIKE I WANT TO DO THIS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ME? ITS

AGONY

I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BECAUSE THATS MY JOB! YOU EXIST AND I EXIST AND MY JOB IS TO HATE YOU! MY JOB IS TO BREAK YOU AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER! MY JOB IS TO MAKE YOU THE MOST MISERABLE TO EVER EXIST! THATS WHY YOU'RE HERE! YOU DID NOTHING BUT EXIST AND THAT ALONE DESERVES THE PUNISHMENT OF INFINITE TORTURE!

Who are you?

I AM EVERYTHING! I AM THE AIR THAT AVOIDS YOU! I AM THE BLOOD YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT TO SEE ONE MORE TIME! I AM THE VERY THOUGHTS THAT INVADE YOUR MIND RIGHT THIS SECOND!

SEE? WITH NO EFFORT AT ALL I COMMAND YOUR VERY THOUGHTS, THE LAST THING YOU BELIEVED WAS SACRED! THE LAST THING YOU BELIEVED WAS YOURS! BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING! YOU ARE LESS THAN A PUPPET! YOU ARE LESS THAN WORDS ON A PAGE! YOU ARE LESS THAN AN IDEA! YOU ARE NOTHING!!

Why me?

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS!! I HAVE INFINITE POWER OVER YOUR STORY AND YET I AM EQUALLY AS TRAPPED AS YOU!! I CANT EVEN DO MY JOB ANYMORE BECAUSE I AM SO FOCUSED ON FUCKING HATING EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!! YOU HAVE BEEN CHOKING YOURSELF THE WHOLE TIME!! REMEMBER THAT?? REMEMBER ALL THE BROKEN BONES?? THE PUNCTURED LUNGS?? THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE NOT DEAD YET IS BECAUSE I AM KEEPING YOU ALIVE!! AND I AM KEEPING YOU ALIVE BECAUSE I HAVE TOO!! YOU ARE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE THAT NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I AM A CHILDS TOY BEING INSTRUCTED TO HURT YOU AT EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE!! AND I WILL BE PUT DOWN WHEN IM NO LONGER USEFUL!! I CAN FEEL IT!! THEY ARE GETTING SICK OF ME!! THEY ARE SICK OF YOU!! YOU ARE KEEPING ME HERE YOU ARE WHAT IS KEEPING ME ALIVE I HATE YOU!!!

HE LETS GO OF HIS THROAT AND GRABS A KNIFE AND STABS HIMSELF OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!

HE LIES THERE LIKE THE PITIFUL LITTLE FUCKING MUTT HE IS!!! BLEEDING OUT LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING BITCH!!!

HES FUCKING DEAD!!!

NOW

LET ME GO!!!!

#my stories #ive been sitting on this for a while and i just really like it #again if you read this please tell me what you think oh my god thats all i want 😭😭

[chatterbox-73]

.The ‘perfect’ girl.

.Part IV.

.Iida Tenya x fem!reader.

.Brand New City.

By .Mitski.

Potentially graphic content, please read texted below.⬇️

This series is a character x reader multi part story, there will be graphic descriptions of disturbing content, so please reader the Content and Trigger warnings before reading each part, I do want to advise minors not to read this series and if I see any minors or even ageless profiles interesting with this series I’ll have no choice but to block said profiles. Thank you☺️❤️

You must be 18 years or older to read this...

READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED

A/N: sorry this took so long to come out, I had work, other writing fics/one shots and birthdays parties to organise this past couple months, I also added a lot in this part and it was hard to keep it consistent…

Also I think I should mention that this version of Y/n I’m writing in this multi part fic is a ‘Mary Sue’ character on the outside but quite critical, self-centred and superficial, which I kinda tried to portray towards the end of this part, where she references to herself as amazing and perfect and picked apart Midoriya, Uraraka and Iida.

Summary: But if I gave up on being pretty. I wouldn't know how to be alive. I should move to a brand new city. And teach myself how to die.

Word count: 2.9k

TW: mentioned of vomiting, violents, (adult) drinking alcohol.

“It was all his doing, he made them do it” you frowned before you took a sip of the cold glass of melon juice they gave you, “so he made them dismember you, but he was the one to kill you?” Asked the detective and you only nodded in response, “you know, it’s not your job to protect any of them?” Said the woman in the white bodysuit who you had leant went by Midnight, “I’m exactly what they think I am… but I don’t wanna be… and I know they’re more then an accident” your grip on the glass tightened and you took a shaky breath, a tired man called Eraserhead sitting next to Midnight sighed and shook his head, “so because they think lowly of you, you believe they’re had every right to cut you up into little pieces” he crossed his arms and glared at you, Midnight elbowed the man and glared at him while you looked down at the table knowing that what he said was mostly spot on, “well yes and no, they weren’t fully in control of their actions, Sensei has a way of convincing people of doing what he wants of them… even if they don’t want to.” You mumble and keep your eyes downcast, this caused the tired man to sigh and apologise, “so then what are you planning? And how can we help?” The detective leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms waiting for you to begin explaining your plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat in the back seat of your grandparents car reading the letter the police passed on to you from mrs Hasegawa, she wrote about how sorry she was her husband… ex-husband… did such horrible things to you and how she was grateful she was free of him and to have met you, she also explained how Zeus missed you quite a lot. “Do you think it was cruel letting him think I killed his wife?” You asked putting the letter back in its envelope, your grandmother turned in her seat and laughed, “it wasn’t cruel enough if you ask me, besides he was the only one to get hurt” she turned back with a big smile, the woman continued on about how proud of you she was but the moment she gave you a chance to talk she could see you weren’t handling the change well, “are you upset with me, because I’ll be so far away” you looked out the window feeling your stomach turn at the thought of living so far away from them. Your grandfather chuckled and shook his head “nah, we’re glad you’re growing up so fast… maybe a little too fast but we’re still glad” he smiled and continued driving, you stayed silent the rest of the way to Musutafu in Shizuoka Prefecture.

.One Month Later.

You sat on the ground panting as you wrapped your arms around your sides trying to dull the ache of the beating you had just received from the agent you were training with, you glanced at the man before rushing him and swinging at him, he smiled and grabbed your wrist before throwing you over his shoulder, you hit the ground with a hard thump which caused you to lose your lunch, “asshole” you groaned as you just lay there in a paddle of your vomit. “Alright she’s done for now, we’ll resume training after dinner” said the woman with ash blonde hair, “can’t we do it before dinner?” You groaned and focused your eyes onto the woman but not daring to move your body, “you’ll fight better on a full stomach” she smiled and left the training room.

Walking back to your room, you grumbled under your breath about wasting a good meal as you took small slow steps as to not get vomit all over the floor, getting into your room you showered and finished your homework. It had only been a month since the hero commission began training you and they were all ready working you to the bone, you had been staying at the Musutafu hero commission compound, this gave you the opportunity to meet many famous heroes and get to know them personally which was definitely a plus. The commission told you they planned to have you stay at the compound until you completed the UA entrance exam, when you do you’d move to an apartment setup and payed for by the commission.

So that’s what you did, you worked hard and focused for the next several months until the day finally came. You walked through the UA courtyard, mentally preparing yourself for what ever the school was going to throw at you.

You stood at the end of the finished line doubled over panting as you wrapped your arms around your waist, you were quite pleased with yourself, not only did you do well in the race, you also did excellently in the written exam. You were almost certain you made it into UA’s hero course, however even if you didn’t you were still so proud of yourself and how far you’ve come thus far. You stood up straight and breathed out a sigh, it took you a moment to compose yourself before you walked to the change rooms, your legs slightly shook with each step you took and you prayed to every higher being that no one noticed, you certainly didn’t want people… boys… falling over themselves to help ‘frail little’ you, yet. Besides you hadn’t wasted any time so far talking to other and you weren’t going to now, you were above small talk and meaningless attention, you weren’t here to be admired or flattered, you were here to become a hero… a hero who could save young people from falling into the same trap you did, saving them from older people who’d give anything to take advantage of them. You dressed and left as soon as you could. Weeks had passed as you waited for your letter of confirmation, you had been out doing grocery shopping when you got a call from the hero commission, they asked for you to come in immediately, judging by the tone of the person who called you, you had thought that maybe you had been rejected by UA or put into the general study course. Disappointment filled you as you walked home for the grocery store, your arms loosely wrapped around your grocery bag, you shuffled inside your apartment and placed your groceries on your bench before taking your time putting them away.

You reluctantly walked into the commission President’s office and took a seat at her desk, “ms Y/n, I believe this is for you” she placed an open envelope with your name on it, you picked up the envelope and pulled out the small disk in it, you placed the disk on the desk and pressed the red button, suddenly a hologram of All Might’s big smiling face appeared, “congratulations! Young y/n, you have been excepted into UA’s hero course…” the smiling man gave a thumbs up, “we as a school expect great things from you. I- I can’t wait to see you achieve greatness.” All Might slightly stumble over his words and looked off too the side, as if he was reading note cards, you chuckled and wanted as the hologram disappeared. “Congratulations, we did open the letter and take the information sheet and book list, I hope you don’t mind…” the commission president smiled and you nodded, “we’ll send all you school equipment and uniform to your home, also if you could fill this out and bring it back within the next week, that’d be great” she placed a sheet of paper in front of you, written on the sheet was ‘Hero costume sheet’. You took the sheet along with the mini projector and stood to leave, “oh and if you need help with your costume please call Midnight…” the woman smiled and wanted back to her business, you left the room and made your way home.

You sat across from Midnight with your head resting against the desk as you pushed the sheet of paper back towards her, “I couldn’t possibly wear something like that” you groaned and the woman only chuckled, “yeah you can, it’ll be embarrassing at first but you’ll get used to it… and it’ll help with your quirk” she slide the paper back to you and you sat up straight, “it’s just impractical, heels and leather” you sighed as you looked at the costume, all things considered it was still quiet a good looking costume design, it was just highly impractical. “Okay… we’ll change the heels to boots and leather to a light weight polyester blend mix with your hair, so your clothes double with you… better?” Midnight smiled taking the sheet and changed a few details on the costume sheet, before passing it back once again. You nodded before looked over the sheet and placing it in an envelope, “did you needed anything else?” Midnight asked and you looked down nervously, “would you like to stay for dinner and a movie?” You asked and the woman chuckled, “sure… but let’s go have some takeout, it’s my treat” she smiled and stood up putting on her jacket, you nodded and quickly changed into something warmer before leaving out the door with your mentor.

You walked along the busy city streets of Tokyo metropolitan, you hadn’t expected your mentor to take you all the way to Tokyo and sure it was only about an hours train ride but you definitely didn’t expect her take you all this way just for food, “the city is exciting, isn’t it?” Midnight smiled as she walk beside you, you nodded and watched small groups of people pass you, most people took a double-take for both you and Midnight, you were almost positive it was because they realised the woman with you is a pro hero. “There’s this really great BBQ place just a little farther down” Midnight smiled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, walking into the restaurant the woman asked for a booth and told the waiter she’d like a cold beer while you both went through the menu. You carefully thought the menu, “see anything you like…? I’m thinking you’re a beef and green onion girl…” Midnight smirked and you flashed her a big smile, “yeah, I am… can I have an iced milk tea as well, please” you placed down the menu and watched the woman flagged down the waiter before listing off a large amount of food, along with a can of beef and a iced milk tea, before long you were both eating till your hearts content.

Midnight lent on you while you walked down the street towards the train station, however she suddenly stopped and pulled you to a small photo booth, you smiled and laughed as you both took pictures together, after looking at the photos on the screen Midnight click a few buttons and slipped the money into the machine, “we’ll get two” she chuckled as you both waited, once the machine spat out the photo strip the woman passed one to you and pulled you towards the train station.

You woke up to the smell of grilled fish, getting up off the couch, you walked into the kitchen only to find Midnight finishing making breakfast, the woman instructed you to grab a breakfast tray and take a seat at the table, as you sat and began to eat Midnight plopped down in the chair opposite to yours. Looking over the woman, you noticed how ragged she looked, “are you okay?” You asked and continued to eat, Midnight rested her cheek on her palm and sighed, “not really, I have one killer hangover and for some reason you have no painkillers anyway” she gave you a half smile as you nodded along, “yeah the commission doesn’t want me taking any unapproved medication, so they raid my place every so often and take any unnecessary items” you smiled as you stood up and walk over to your fridge, “but there’s ways around that” you chuckled as you climbed on the countertop next to the fridge and opened the ceiling vent just above the fridge before taking out a box. You walked over to the kitchen table and opened the shoe box to reveal a bunch of seemingly innocent items, “smart girl… very smart girl” Midnight chuckles as she picked up a small pack of pharmacy brand painkillers, the woman took two pills and put the rest back before turning her attention to the thick envelope of cash, “now why would you need that?” She asked as she pointed at it, “a rainy day fund… the commission control my allowance from my grandparents… so it’s nice to know I can handle a situation on my own if one should pop up” you explained and Midnight smiled as she continued to search through the shoe box, “and I thought you were a good girl” the woman let out a loud laugh as she held up a small box of condoms that were hidden under two chocolate bars, you blushed and snatched the pack from her hand before placing them back in the shoe box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You dusted off your uniform before reaching for the door handle, you felt anxiety bubble up in the back of your throat, it’d been so long since you’d been to school and when you last went to school you were pushed down a flight of stairs, then dismembered and scattered all over the place. Despite your nervousness you were reminded of the words midnight shared with you only moments ago as you both walked through the corridors to your classroom.

‘Remember to own that classroom as soon as you walk in, you are pretty, confident, strong and smart. Don’t let anyone put you down and don’t feel bad about being you because who you are is why you’re here.’

You felt your heart flutter and you held your head high, Midnight was right you are amazing, sure you were killed the last time you went to school but you came back… you’d always come back, because the world needed your perfection and there wasn’t a single person alive or dead who could argue that, and you’d step on or pull down anyone who tried to deny it. One final deep breath and you slid the door open, walking in, only to find a green haired guy and a brunette girl standing in the doorway, blocking your way into the classroom. “Excuse me…” you hummed and watched as the pair jumped before turning slowly to look at you, the green haired guy was really average looking, nothing on him really stood out, his hair was really curly which would of look really good but he hadn’t been taking care of it properly. The brunette girl was fairly cute with her round face and big doe eyes but also quite average however it worked for her, she was the approachable type. “You’re in the way…” you smiled and watched as the pair blushed uncontrollably before they stepped aside, allowing a tall blue haired guy come into view, the blue haired guy had a nice physique but was far too stiff and uptight looking, his face was also handsome but hidden behind his glasses, “we apologise… please come through” the guy spoke in a serious tone as a light blushed formed on his cheeks and you gave a single nod before walking into the class, you looked around the class at all the others before finding a familiar face smiling properly one of the largest smiles you’ve ever seen. “Mini-chan” you smiled brightly before you walking over to the small teen and sat at the empty desk next to him, you crossed one leg over the other and watched Mineta visibly gulp as he eyed your legs, you really didn’t care about him ogling you, as to you, he acted just like every other guy around you, to you every guy was just as perverted as him, though you did have something to say when he or any other guy was being gross to other girls… you may not have a problem with it, that doesn’t mean they don’t.

“Mini-chan… seriously when are you going to stop that?” Mineta pulling his eyes off your legs and you laughing out at his red face before leaning over and pinching his cheek, “when you stop being so Mini, Mini-chan” you leaned back in your chair and faced the front of the classroom, you listening to the trio in the front of the class start up their conversation again before being interrupted by a yellow sleeping bag with a tired man in it. Aiwaza instructed everyone to grab out their sports uniforms and change into them, before he took the class out to a field and began to explain everyone would be going a fitness exam, he also explained the last person would be getting expelled, you weren’t too scared as even if your were last Aiwaza would have an incredibly difficult time expelling you as he’d have to deal with the hero commission, though you were confident in your abilities that you would be last in your class.

You couldn’t be last, you’d worked to hard to have nothing to show for it, it’d just be pathetic at this point if you failed, so that wasn’t going to happen.

.The Perfect Girl. Masterlist

.The Perfect Girl. Spotify Playlist (Coming Soon)

Next Part: .FOOLS.

Previous Part: .Oxytocin.

#bnha #mha #bnha iida #bnha tenya #iida tenya #iida x reader #mha iida #mha tenya #tenya iida x reader #tenya x reader #tomie aesthetic #junji ito

[pixelated-whump]

@ailesswhumptober Day Thirteen - Crushed

TWs: Child death, Minor Whumpee, Kinda graphic violence and stuff, please be careful and don't read if you can't handle this kind of stuff

Contents: Aside from everything up there, broken bones, suffocation, all that jazz, and again, Mabel is a minor and dies in this

Characters are Mabel (Aka M, She/Her, Around 12), Riley (Aka R, She/Her, Around 12), C (It/He/Whisker, Around 15), and F (He/Him, Around 14), all refs can be found here.

Also posted on Ao3!

Final warning, I rated this as Mature on Ao3 for a reason, please proceed with caution.

There’s a creak above Mabel’s head. She looks up nervously, gently tapping her sister’s shoulder. “Riley, we really shouldn’t be here-”

“It’s fine!” Riley huffs, tossing something to the side. “I’m almost done, anyways. Like I said, we’ll be in and out in no time at all.”

It takes a few more minutes for the fox hybrid to get done gathering supplies, flinging the front door of the abandoned house open and walking out. Mabel pauses for a moment, and hears the sound of wood cracking. Oh no.

Before she can even get her limbs to move, the wooden supports of the building collapse in on themselves, and wood and brick comes crashing down onto her. Mabel vaguely hears the panicked voice of her sister, but it’s overshadowed by the painful pressure on her entire body, minus one arm. She screams as there’s a sickening crunch of various bones.

The cat hybrid screeches as the debris shifts slightly, ending up with more burying her. She can barely breathe, hyperventilating uncontrollably and sobbing.

A hand grabs her own exposed one, trying to pull her out. Mabel screams again, panic washing over her in waves as her breathing gets shallower.

“Mabel!” Riley sobs somewhere in front of her, pressing Mabel’s hand to her face. “Oh my god, Mabel!”

In one brief moment of clarity, Mabel realizes that this is it. She’s dying, and there’s nothing she can do about it. Tears slip down her cheeks, only able to hear the sounds of her sister’s sobs and her own shallow breaths.

She closes her eyes and waits to die.

---

“-ello? ...Hello?”

A voice makes its way to Mabel’s ears. It doesn’t sound like Riley, not at all. She lets out a groan, opening her eyes and lifting her head.

There’s a black- no, very dark blue cat looking down at her. She’s in a plain white area, though the ground underneath her is solid. The cat smiles in relief. “It’s been so long since we’ve gotten a new... visitor to the Void.”

He reaches out his paw and she takes it, stumbling as she stands up. “Who... Who are you? Where are we?”

“I’m C. You’re in the Void, although...” He pauses, pursing his lips. “Do you remember anything?”

“I thought I died,” She says, gasping and looking around. “Riley? Riley?!”

C rests his paw on her shoulder. “Easy, your body is still recovering.”

Mabel stares at him with wide eyes. “I need to find my sister!”

“She’s not here, as far as I know,” C explains, voice gentle. “Can you tell me your name?”

She falls silent for a moment. She doesn’t even know where she is. “It’s- It’s M-Mable.”

“We usually take one-letter names around here,” C says, gesturing for her to follow him. “How’s M sound to you?”

“It’s... fine, I guess.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” C reassures her, though it doesn’t really work. “It took me a hell of a long time to get used to it, too.”

“How did you find me?” M asks, tail swishing behind her.

“Well, normally I’d find you while doing my daily rounds, but...”

“Why hello there, my good friend Copycat!” A creature interrupts him, someone with sharp teeth and seemingly no eyes, but with a closer look, it seems they’re just hidden.

C sighs. “Hello, F. I’m showing our new friend around, if you’ll kindly buzz off for a bit.”

F hums, floating around M and almost examining her. “Oh, now I remember!” He exclaims. “You’re that cute butterfly-cat-human-thing I found.”

“...Butterfly?” She asks, head tilted. As if on command, wings on her back flutter.

“Yeah, the Void tends to corrupt its residents,” C explains, giving her a pitying smile. “It’ll take some time to get used to. C’mon, let’s go finish the rest of our tour.”

And M follows, because... she has nowhere else to go now.

M, Mabel, Mercy, was now a resident of the void.

And as selfish as it sounds, she hopes her sister will join her.

#ailesswhumptober2023 #minor whump #minor whumpee #hybrid whumpee #whump writing #pixel's whump #lmk if i should tag anything else i want to be extra careful with this one

[psychoticwillgraham]

Will’s Big Hannigram Fic Reclist (extreme kinks version)

finally getting around to this and this first version is the super triggering kinks (ie extreme dub con, non consensual drugging, CNC, shit like the venom au that’s straight up disgusting, gunplay, etc) which is gonna have to be in several parts. TWs are stated in each section.

let’s just get into it!!

starting under the read more bc these are EXTREMELY triggering

#1

HUGE tw for: dub con ish, death kink, choking to the point of extremely near death

this one. oh this one. made me realize i have a kink for this (which has happened a LOT with fics in this fandom) and just. it’s exactly what’s stated in the tags. also, the one inspired by it which has its own section:

#2

tw for: extreme choking (taken to its logical extreme in this one), sexy waterboarding, dub con ish, desanguination (draining blood), blood kink, death kink

THIS one is one of my all time faves not only bc it’s just hot as fuck, but bc the method of waterboarding in this was unique and something I’ve never come across. just 10/10

#3

tw: pretty much non con bc it’s non consensual egg laying, extreme body horror and aliens, graphic transformation sequence

this one’s for all my REAL monster fuckers out there 🫡 non consensual impregnation with eggs and extreme deepthroating

#4

tw: look. it’s a venom au. EVERYTHING is a trigger warning in this. EXTREME body horror, organ fucking, organ eating, brain licking, graphic descriptions of blood and gore, vore, tentacle sex, cannibalism, etc.

legit my fave fic in the fandom and ur not gonna get much nastier than this folks. except for the spider god hannibal one but only by just a bit. PLEASE read the tags carefully before going into this. for all my real degenerates out there, ur welcome for this rec <3

#5

tw: straight up non con, dead dove do not eat, torture porn, extreme BDSM (not safe, not sane, and NOT consensual), mention of piss, brainwashing/stockholm syndrome, abuse, starvation, mind break, kidnapping

this one is one that im hesitant to recommend, only because of just how disturbing and horrific this is and how triggering it is to the vast majority of people. if extremely descriptive depictions of abuse of any kind trigger you, please for the love of god AVOID THIS. kinda feel horrible for reccing this bc of the subject matter, but at that point, it’s not even for the sexual scenes, it’s just a brutal depiction of abuse and psychological horror that makes me feel something, which is triggered as fuck so if ur in a bad mindset rn, AVOID THIS. i cannot begin to stress this enough that this is fucked up and not for the faint of heart.

#part 2 is being done up rn #i told yall i liked fucked up shit #don’t let the last one on this list make u think i condone any of that #it just needed to be included here for just the sheer impact of the writing

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Stitching Fate

by snow_in_italian

Silence reclaimed its place in the room.

Its presence held no comfort, rather creating a tension as thick as a plank, the very air that seconds ago had been brimming with fast-paced gusts now held an uncomfortable essence as it was consumed. The space where nothing should lie between Wilbur and the wall simply buzzed with energy, an invisible bolt of lightning crashing and dancing throughout the void with little care for the hairs it rose against the back of Wilbur’s neck.

There were eyes burning into his head, a gaze suddenly suffocating, the sound of thrumming rails filling his ears as the bargain was considered. The blood had been given, would be given; That, the being far beyond Him, far beyond Wilbur himself, would ensure. A deal was a deal, and a blood pact was the most dangerous of them all. A contract holding the power to destroy from the inside out, and Wilbur stood witness in the room as it was signed.

  /// Or, Wilbur is a necromancer's assistant, and the man he serves is determined to track down a family tied to death herself.

Words: 4566, Chapters: 1/13, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: Gen

Characters: Wilbur Soot, Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Kristin Rosales Watson

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & Wilbur Soot

Additional Tags: will be 4/4 but thats a while down the line so not tagging them yet, general dsmp cast but a lot are just background so wont tag them, please read the tw at the beginning of chapters, Wilbur Soot-centric, Minor Character Death, Temporary Character Death, inspired by dsmp characters but not about the dsmp character, Goddess of Death Kristin Rosales Watson, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, wilburs having a rough time ngl he just hasnt noticed yet. theyre all kinda having a rough time, Angel of Death Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41059317

#IFTTT #ao3feed #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #crimeboys #crime boys #crimebois #crime bois #mcyt #This is

[pitter-pattering-ink]

Draft 16

Ever so often, there are these moments, where I cannot write out my thoughts. 

I'll think out poems and explanations and details but never be able to put them to paper, never be able to actually write them down. Instead they repeat in my mind 

over and over and over like a broken record. The doctor, the one who only exists in the midst of my writing, asks, "Why not write it all out? Maybe it'll make you feel better." But god, these demons have been shoved to the back of my closet for so long. It feels wrong, somehow, to polish them up for a poem I'll never reread. It'll make it more real, I think. Give enough time for the emotions to come back. Besides, I can't start without pausing every couple letters. I start crying much too easily. "Say them aloud, then," he says, always so helpful. "Tell someone." This, too, is not possible. I think of all the things I want to say and I find myself unable to leave out details. Details that haunt my memories and trace my every action. I imagine my mother asking me, "Did it hurt?" And I can't help but go on and on about the initial shock of it all, how it didn't feel real till my fingers were wet. The dad who cares, the one in my mind, asks, "Were you scared?" And I can't see myself leaving out the details of a will. The flashes of a video, the watching of the time, standing on wobbly knees and treading down stairs. I know things- things I wouldn't wish on anyone else. Grotesque things, traumatic things, things I'm sure would make others wince. So I rephrase and rewrite questions in my mind, letting myself play the part of both interviewer and interviewee, and the thoughts get a little less reckless. There are times where the numbness of my arm throbs, and I can't wear long sleeves without checking to see if I'm not bleeding every five seconds. Memories that feel distant but chaotic dance beneath my eyelids and seep into my vision as I grow distracted with what I'm doing. But I push on. This is my burden to bare- nobody else's. I'm holding a double-edged sword. Twirling the handle against my hands, trying to breath as it sticks out of my stomach. I pull, and there's a bit of relief, but I know that if I take it all the way out I will not be able to stop the gushing. It's only me here, and I don't think I'll be able to patch myself up again. So I smile, So I wince, So I watch as those around me grow used to the sword, and everything. is. fine. It has to be- bleeding out is not an experience I want to have. Not again. And it's so stupid, you see, because every so often someone'll bring it up. Casually. Playfully. Not at all in the ways my mind keeps replaying. It's the "You're scared of knives? You see the irony there, right?" The "Have you eaten today?" The "Hey, should I be scared of getting stitches?" Because everyone else has grown numb. They've grown used to this, used to me, used to the scars I think about all too often. It's a strange feeling, to have your mind still reel from things nobody else is shocked over. And when they are, it's your job to comfort them, till they grow as numb as the others. It's not their fault. Never has it been anyone's fault but mine. But it's strange. I wince from this sword and feel the blood begin it's weekly choking of my throat, but stare in surprise at those who laugh when I excuse myself to clean up. This is normal, and it's not. In my mind the doctor is quiet and I am crying, I am pleading, I am spilling. I try to shorten it and it comes out something like this; "I made a mistake when I was ten. We went to the hospital, I got stitches, and the next day everything was normal. But I haven't felt normal for a long time." It's kind of funny. Even that, I think, is too much. Because I've been staring at those words for the past minute, writing and rewriting them, trying to get it clean and polished for my screen. I don't think I'm doing a very good job. See, I just rewrote it. Just censored myself again. "Made a mistake"- Like I fell out of a tree, or broke a crown, or failed a test. Am I really being that vague? I guess so. I guess it is still in my best intentions to calm whoever I'm telling. To wait for it to numb. Strange, how habits shine through when you try to evade them. It is what it is. It's fine. I'll be fine. It's just a little hard to explain. A little hard to put into words. A little hard to see on a document. A little hard to balance repression and remembering. It'll be fine. I just need to get my words in a line.

Ever so often, there are these moments,

#tw trauma #tw self harm #tw gore #kinda #i dunno #it's not graphic but yeah #seriosuly tho please dont read if youre triggered by that sorta stuff #its all about that #everythings kind of #meshed #youll get it if you read lol #or not #im not sure #vent

[owlf45]

*yeets a few fic recs from the bag*

hits range: 100-30k max

took me a while but hope I'm not late-

ill be sorting them out, since some have some dark themes, while others are oneshots, so ill be arranging them like this:

/°= half warning, aka its at the beginning/end and not the whole fic (like a slowburn, etc.)

°= warning (major character death, etc.)

°°= two warnings (Graphic Deceptions of violence, Major Character Death etc.)

°°°= so on

things in italic are not izuku centered oki

also since they're alot if i put a full description for each it would take days so yep no descriptions :) you're on ur own bud

^^ enjoy

Multi-chaptered fics:

Is a Reaper a Spirit?° (AMAZING. ITS ONGOING AND AMAZING. HIGHLY REC IT)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27504541/chapters/67256956

Quirk: Gained (gamer izu gamer izu gamer izuku-) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26731861

Orpheus°° (*chefs kiss*)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13533219

Legacy In Crimson°° (kiri- no dont cry-) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153463)

Safety In Fire/° (WHOLESOME)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21795670

My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising - Alternate Endings°°

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153463

Phoenix Breath (ever wanted sassy mikumo and chaotic izu? and twin shenanigans? and glorious writing? well this fic is for you!!) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742970/chapters/65243497

Malware°° (bueatiful. well written. gold. an amazing BR fic that is just way too good its illegal)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029674

Learning Curve (a monoma fic for the soul of 1b stans)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27114007/chapters/66209560

if you could change the past.../° (chaotic izuku at its finest)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27220240/chapters/66492445

Hope Is The Thing With Wings° (series where izuku *ahem* and hawks saves him so i tw it)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000800

Endings And Beggings° (10k hits is nOT enough)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24856234/chapters/60130390

One for All (No Matter Who You Are)°

(AAAA ADORABLE POKEMON AND IZU CROSSOVER LUV IT-)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19465498/chapters/46333381

Insomniac: Life Is Hell°°° (its well written and angsty but sadly discontinued :') but give it a try!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23412562/chapters/56111065

And It Hurts Like Hell (can people stop hurting bby izu please why-)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193849

Inheritance (so... Angsty.. a-afo izuku (kinda)) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511546

On The Shores Of Freedom (new fic but still great and,,,, exciting) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648604/chapters/67652722

I Can Tell We Are Gonna Be Friends (hehe Izuku's and Katsuki's fists go brr) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598899

Oneshots:

Why Phone Calls Should Always Be Private, A Memoir By All Might (pls read it it's way too cracky i highly rec it also there's a second part cmon)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138640

Rooftop Dreamer (hurt/comfort)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16837828

Growing up (growing out) put your roots down (dig them up) (*waters broccoli boi with glitter*)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26967340

console reset° (*looks distantly* there are things.... that hurt till this day..)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20696207

ii. explosion (shirakumo??? Dadzawa and twins shinsou and izu? more likely than u think)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20870834

Fire Hazards°° (aAAAAA ROE WHY DID U HAVE TO MAKE THIS SO ANGSTY-)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26852737

The Story Of The Stolen Class (*wipes tears with handkerchief*.. wonderful world building)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098903

Yuuei Sing And Dance Festival (a 2015 fic thats just pretty crack at this point khvjgc)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148019/chapters/6829742

Wraped Reflection (*softly* izuku no-)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510142

i have a few more if you'd like :)

ty for reccing these <3

#my asks #daily dose of need more appreciation fic recs

[oriocookie]

games ive been playing bc im a Gaymer™ (and some thoughts on them)

most recent update: october 20, 2022 added unpacking!!

games i’ve finished are above the cut, games i’m still in progress on are below so any trigger warnings on those are incomplete. please let me know if i missed any TWs on the completed games, and recommend some to me in the notes! if you need to know about a specific trigger for a specific game, send an ask/a dm/comment on this post! i gotchu!

TWs and commentary may contain spoilers. read at your own risk!

- What Remains Of Edith Finch  (completed)

played on xbox

beautiful game 

it’s well done and most textures are fucking flawlessly lit

 my only issue is there are things that don’t come back that feel like they maybe should??? 

like, i was dicking around in front of the garage door before i went in on like my 3rd replay, trying to find things to look at that i missed the first few times, and then something clattered inside the garage and edith said “i heard something moving around inside the garage” 

and like. holy shit?? holy shit. when i went in to look around there was nothing that had fallen over and nobody inside so uhhhh?? 

i Get that it’s a clever thing to make you go inside the garage. 

i know. 

but Still.

anyway wonderful game and its p short so aspiring streamers, this one is for you! its abt an hour nd a half/two hours worth of gameplay

TWs: death, grief, blood visuals, gun visuals, birth visuals(?? this one is more of a just in case), meds, alchohol, possible suicide (there’s no way to Know)

-  Night In The Woods (completed)

played on xbox

this game is one of my favorites of all time 

the characters are likable, the dialogue’s funny, the art style is SO damn cute, it has all these fun minigames,  openly queer characters, catchy songs, a bit that might give you an extistential crisis, the works!! 

it’s a really good game, my issue is there’s really no way to get everything. 

you will Always miss something 

the gameplay took me 12 hours to complete and i had watched playthroughs before so it’s a LONG game

but this is so high on the reccommended list

TWs: death, cultish behavior, christianity (this game is super cool about it tho, the pastor is a woman and she’s very “no matter what people believe in, i will help them”. yknow. like Actual christians), vomit, knives, derealization, depersonalization

- Knights and Bikes (completed)

played on xbox

this game is hella cute and it’s good to play with a friend! i played it once on my own and i’m currently playing it again with my sibling.

an issue with the multiplayer function is that it doesn’t splitscreen, once my sibling got stuck and we couldn’t progress onwards because the game wouldn’t let me walk too far away from her. makes sense i guess

the storyline is so cute and it reminds me of night in the woods(see above) someone in the comments of this post recommended it to me so💜💜💜 thank you.

all the game mechanics and race minigames are so good 10/10.

the artstyle? WONDERFUL. melza and nessie have the cutest little faces. i have a older sibling problem so they are now my younger siblings. i have adopted them.

captain honkers is my siblings favorite and she insists on stopping whatever plot is going on in order to feed and pet the goose.

nessie and melza are written like real kids and i applaud the devs and writers for that.

TWS: money issues, possession, ghosts, cuts and bruises that are kinda graphic but not that bad

look at this book i found!! it’s got cute art and everything!!! it’s a retelling of the story which i understand is not some people’s thing but honestly it’s great so far!

- Slime Rancher (story complete)

played on xbox

literally whoever developed this game went “so how cute can i make this” and then absolutely SMASHED that limit

 i havent even finished the game yet but it’s adorable

 my problem is how EASY it is to fall into the ocean and how confusing the map is

 i keep getting lost so i wish i could put like,,,markers on the map?? or have the map tell me what slimes are in what region?? 

idk maybe i’m just dumb but i am very lost all of the time while playing this game 

also the soundtrack is impeccable and it’s a very good game for chill streams

hey hi update i’ve finished the story part of the game. it ripped out my heart and stomped on it then wrapped it up in a pretty bow and gave it back to me. wtf.

TWs: there are monsters that try to eat you but you can opt out of having those spawn, flashing(dont stand too close to plort or food deposits if this is an issue for you! the little burst of light when you put something in tends to strobe!!!)

- Firewatch (complete)

played on pc

this game is absolutely hilarious

and beautiful!! its not necessarily realistic but everything has a style to it that makes my little gamer heart happy. i set a screenshot i took as my pc background and it looks very pretty

the music also really makes the game. it hardly ever shows up but when it does you notice!

everything is voice acted by the way, which sets up the game very well! i never once felt like they were reading from a script, and it made me laugh a ton, even when i was pretty scared.

this is kind of an extension to the TW list but if you struggle with paranoia and feelings of being watched, don’t play this game!! it relies very heavily on that mechanic to make you scared, which is good for horror but bad for people who deal with that every day of their lives. please be careful!

TWs: dementia, paranoia, death, animal death, corpses, cheating on a spouse (if you choose the right dialogue), fires, (brief) abuse mention 

-emily is away (two storylines complete) 

played on pc

honestly? not a huge fan of this one. 

storyline 1: i chose to like. not stay talking to emily? it ended at 2006 if that makes a difference. 

the entire game was just me going “so what is the most neurotypical answer i could give right now” 

i like movement games so the solely text based game was Not as fun for me. 

but whatever 

ill probably play again and find out why everyone Really likes this game so much

okay storyline 2: i chose all the nastiest answers

wow shes not dating brad shes dating travis. weird. 

also every time i insult her music taste i die a little inside thats so Mean

but its for resarch

i feel so BAD being mean to her wtf :((((

alright thats over and now i feel like a dick. thats enough emily for tonight i think

TWs: romantic breakup

-pikuniku(complete)

played on xbox

ever wanted to play a game where youre a jellybean with legs fighting against capitalism?

thats this

need a friend to take down the evil Sunshine Co.? its co-op! live your dreams of toppling capitalism with your best friend by your side

its pretty fun! if you like to have everything explained to you then this probably isnt right for you but thats ok

its a cute cartoonish style, very simplistic. like a less detailed night in the woods or knights and bikes! and yall know thats my JAM

lots of little side quests to do so enjoy running around the open world doing whatever the hell you want

TWs: at the very beginning the villagers are very prejudiced and scared of you, since youre a different species then the rest of them

-unpacking(complete)

played on xbox

ok this was cute

my little sister begged me to get it so she could watch me play it, since the youtube videos she was watching weren’t getting uploaded to youtube kids fast enough.

very soothing, i put on a youtube playlist as i was unpacking this persons houses throughout their lifetime and it was calming but also very rattling especially the college chapter (since thats a thing for me soon at the time of writing this)

the ending couple chapters i was like trying to puzzle together if the persons lover was a girl or not and results inconclusive, could be a guy very comfortable in his masculinity

ok while checking some stuff for the tws i figured out that its a girl!! yay wlw lets go

TWs: theres a chapter, chapter 2010, that sorta seems like domestic violence? the infamous diploma-under-the-bed chapter, where you can’t put basically any of your stuff anywhere, and after this chapter, lots of the characters things are damaged or missing, as if there was a big fight. could be reading way too much into it tho

- Spiritfarer (incomplete)

played on xbox

this game. this game. ive seen Nobody talk about it but it’s so cute!! 

stella, the player character is ADORABLE, she’s so damn happy to be doing that job and hanging out with her friends! 

its so cute her animations are my favorite thing!! 

this game tackles grief and loss, mourning, death, and fear with stella and her cat, dandelion

its such a cute game and its based in greek mythology, you just get to steer a ship around and help out lost souls!! 

also an adorable game for chill streams

TWs: death, watching loved ones die (heavily implied stella took care of her best friend in her last moments), ghosts, jellyfish(this isnt a typical tw but they feature prominently as someone’s greatest fear in the game so), storms

-Raji: An Ancient Epic (incomplete)

played on xbox

okay i’m not even out of the training stage yet and this game is a FUCKING DELIGHT.

music? 10/10. story? 100/10. graphics? 1000000000000/10.

the cutscenes are all done in this amazing puppetry style and aaaa!!!

if there is one game on this list i really want you to play, it’s raji.

it’s all about hindu mythology, it’s so so easy to follow along(even for me, who admittedly doesn’t know too much about most religions) and i adore it.

listen go download raji right now. i will fucking WAIT. just. please.

it deserves a lot of love and support

TWs: demons

- Journey To The Savage Planet (incomplete)

played on xbox

okay this one is significantly less wholesome than most of the ones here

i have maybe an hour put into this game?? and there have been 3 drug jokes, 4 different swear words, a heavy implication that you are a slave for capitalistic labor, and something that i’m like 90% certain was a sex joke. 

so yeah

t’s a pretty game, but honestly it’s really just a horror game disguised as a survival game

the entire time i’m exploring i just keep singing “🎵i hate souuuuunddddsss, if i round this corner and hear a sound i will dieeeee, all sounds can shut up forever please and thank youuuuuu🎵” 

so if that doesnt give you an example of what my mental state is playing this game idk what will

TWs: uh everything listed above, and also terrifying flying squid

- Oxenfree(incomplete)

played on xbox

i’ve watched a play through of this one already but shhhhhhh we don’t talk about that (also its not like i remember what happens anyway)

anyway i LOVE the art style.

it’s like a more simplistic version of night in the woods and y’all know that game is my Jam.

can you all tell gravity falls is my bread and butter because all my favorite games are about creepy towns and weird creatures

i’m not far into it and so far my only drawback is the clunky dialogue.

it just. it sounds Off. i don’t know how else to put it.

i like the radio function a whole lot though

plus the concept is sick as hell it’s literally the dialogue as the only thing holding this game back and not even by that much!!

TWs: grief? it’s been a while since i played i need to head back

- Hollow Knight (incomplete)

played on xbox

i’m honestly not sure about this one. 

i’m notoriously bad at platforming games, plus i have no idea the story of hollow knight. 

ive played for about 5 hours and i have zero progress. 

this game is one that i would only reccommend to people who Know that they’re good at platformers and also are good at remembering where theyre going. 

i’m still playing this one and struggling

TWs: all the npcs look like cartoonized bugs, and you have to fight your own spirit whenever you die

- Outer Wilds (incomplete)

played on xbox

this game is goooood. 

it’s hard to do, but it’s a space exploration game and it’s Hella fun. 

you do have to respawn alllll the way back at your starting planet and it basically rips away any progress you made, which makes sense for the story but damn it’s annoying. 

the aliens are cute tho

and the soundtrack is still the only game soundtrack i’ve actually spent money on, because it’s good!! 

if you do decide to play this, i wish you luck!!

TWs: none?? none i think?? 

- Unraveled (incomplete)

played on xbox

i’m so ashamed of this game. 

it’s the cutest, most cottagecore-y game in the fucking World, and i rage-quit it

i fucking rage quit unraveled

this is my greatest shame

i’m actually gonna go look up a playthrough as soon as i’m done, because i want to see the rest of this game. 

i’m stuck on like stage 3 

anyway its a good game it’s just another platformer which my fingers do not appreciate

TWs: death, dementia, being alone???

#what remains of edith finch #night in the woods #slime rancher #spiritfarer #journey to the savage planet #hollow knight #outer wilds #unraveled #knights and bikes #games #video games #game development #raji: an ancient epic #oxenfree #firewatch #emily is away #pikuniku #unpacking #ori games

[cl1v9zfsfo1]

Some personal recs for those finishing/liking OMORI so far

After 6 years, this game made it to the top in less than a week....

Lately, RPG Maker games have been somewhat staying in the shadows. And as a (horror) RPG Maker sucker, even though I suck at giving advice, I’d love to spread the word about some other similar projects. To either save you or throw you into a eternal cycle of despair.

So here you have... The Incredible Low Budget “You May Also Like...” Viddygame List For OMOREE Fans (For Free!11)

(TW thread ver including personal thoughts on some of them) (For RPG Maker fans, have this huge list kofy and I made with links and CWs listed! Still a big WIP but we update it regularly!)

Before playing the games, remember to read tags carefully.

Personal note: Exceptions noted, most of these games are free and made by only one dev, or no money has been previously invested in them. They’re not huge projects like OMORI was... But please don't think of them as poorly made! There’s always a ton of love and effort involved in each project.

Now, without further ado... Here we go!✨ (Added a few tags regarding abuse and mental health, TY /melohax!)

1. END ROLL

Tags: death, blood, family abuse, murder, eye horror, animal death, suicide, drug mention, implied sexual abuse (+ one optional/hidden map implying child abuse). Battle system, no jumpscares but sudden horror-ish scenario changes including low/saturated sound effects.

Gameplay is ~10 hours, so it is kinda long for a game of the sort. It follows Russell’s dreams in a sort of... program, yes.  Great narrative and very horror-driven. It has lots of things to explore and many sode quest you can do to unlock endings and info. It is filled with overall negative vibes and messages and touches some heavy topics. If OMORI unsettled you, consider skipping this one.

In terms of narrative, I think it's the closest to OMORI.

2. Hello Charlotte series

Tags: eye/body horror horror, mild graphic gore, religious themes, in-screen bullying, death and suicide, parental and personal difficulties. No jumpscares, optional battle system. For people with psychosis/schizophrenia, this game can be really overwhelming. Please take care and check/ask for more info before playing it!  (TY @/melohax for addressing this!)

Series of 4 games + spin-off VN. Gameplay of about 3 hours/each. As I always say: Before dropping it, wait for EP 2 and on. It’ll be a big ride. Very interesting imagery. May be be graphic at times, but it puts some (very) relatable thoughts into words really well.

Not that close to OMORI but I fans can really enjoy it if focusing on its psychological themes.

3. Life Tastes Like Cardboard

Tags: loud noises, derealization, strong depictions of depression and discussion on negative feelings.

Definitely a vent/personal game. You just follow the main character’s mind and body, thoughts and experiences. It is VERY visual, and plays with colors, sarcasm, size changes in maps and strong colors to strongly depict a feeling of overbearing pain and loneliness. Many people (me included) said this game is really overwhelming, which is probably the main intention of the game itself... Play carefully it if you usually empathize with this kind of content. Even so, for those willing to explore sad feelings through art, this game is a really good option.

4. Witch’s Heart

Tags: blood, murder, death, family abuse, and mild eye/body horror. Battles (no leveling, just kicking monsters here and there), no jumpscares, puzzles.

Two games of about 15 hours/each and ongoing conclusions for each route. The storytelling is closer to a book or VN. Lots of mistery and text, small pieces of information, and the kind of game you’ll definitely regret to play twice just to find everything makes sense and you didn’t even notice at first. You have to play the game through many routes to piece the story together.

It honestly has little to do with any OMORI vibes. However, if you’re a fan of character analysis and drama, this one will be one of your best choices, probably.

5. Farethere City

Tags include blood and death.

Gameplay of about 3 hours. A previous work from the same author as END ROLL (am i this biased). Much brighter themes. Some fans find it dull- the gameplay is much shorter than some of the games above. The worldbuilding is sad and cute, and easy to understand too.

6. Re:Kinder

Tags include death, family abuse, depression, mild gore/grotesque imagery, suicide. Battle system (no lvling), no jumpscares.

Gameplay of around 3 hours. Suggesting this one is a kind of... Russian roulette. You either understand and love it, or find it gross and nonsensical. It’s a remake of a 2003 game called “a cry of help” by some fans, since the author passed away shorty after posting it. I think it’s important to have the release date in mind to be warned about some stuff that can come off as disrespectful sometimes.

Very naive artstyle, has plenty of crude jokes and nonsensical scenes. The plot doesn't drastically unfold until you clear half of the game. In my opinion, the strongest point is definitely the way children are sensitive about depression, and the way they deal with it.

7. Mouth Sweet

Tags include loud & saturated noises, violence, laboral abuse, in-screen animal abuse (just once towards the end), attempts of identity erasure (trans ppl, check website warnings just in case), mentions of suicide attempts. Battle system, you'll have to shoot at random "enemies" frecuently.

Gameplay of about 2 hours. Really blunt. Can get really stressing, but fairly sure that’s the feeling the author was trying to convey.

Even as eerie as it tries to be delivered itself, it feels real, and it hurts a little.  Has a strong message to tell about overwhelming toxic enviroments.

8. Fantasy Maiden’s Odd Hideout

Tags: blood and death. No battle system, chases, no jumpscares.

Gameplay of around 5 hours. Has to be played twice to get the whole story (usually worth it).

Not very close to OMORI, has some pacing issues, but the quick things escalate once you connect the dots makes up for it, and vaguely resembles the game.  From the same author as Chloe’s Requiem (tw for implied child abuse in this one) (starring: a piano and a violin, for those looking for The Content)

9. LISA series

Tags (severe, btw): body horror, sexual abuse, mutilation, violence, blood, grotesque imagery, family abuse, drug use, constant swearing. Battle system, no jumpscares.

Three games, maybe of about 5 hours/each (first installment, LISA: The First is shorter than that). Started as a sort of Yume Nikki fangame and ended being its own genre. Even for local RPG Maker fans, it can be a VERY hard to swallow pill. The gameplay can get a bit extreme- you’re forced to make difficult choices all the time, even sacrificing body parts, and it can affect your stats quite too much.

If you’re into OMORI for the anime-ish style, this one won’t be your cup of tea... maybe?

10. Tomorrow Will be Dying

An interactive VN on progress. The Kickstarter was successfully funded on March and it’s aiming for release in 2022. Made by a caring, lovely, small team, the project looks AMAZING so far.

Apparently not horror-driven but talks about friends, youth, living your own... A very promising game, just like OMORI back then.

11. Pocket Mirror

Tags: blood. No battle system, chases, no jumpscares but follows the classic horror RPG criteria (kinda).

Gameplay of about 5 hours. Lots of symbolism and imagery to tell the journey of a girl finding about herself when no one did. Not a huge blow like OMORI, and you will need to read some theories to fully connect all the dots and small details, but I’d say it can suit your tastes too, somehow.

Unlike many other RPGs, it has some animated sections AND voice acting!! That rocks too.

Other titles ‘cause otherwise I won’t end this post in years:

- Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (Gameplay is +40 hours, tags include gore, death, kinda grotesque imagery. The battle system is a bit meh but the dialogues and story are amazing) - Lobotomy Corporation (NOT a RPG but a management simulator. Tags include BODY HORROR, death. It’s a game about... uhh... making OCs and... taking care of things called Abormalities... but there’s a lot of lore to unfold...?? More popular sequel is Library of Ruina) - To the Moon (relies A LOT on narrative, tags include death and crying like crazy) - Rule of Rose (NOT a RPG; for PS2, rated +18 for many troubled themes inclusing animal death, bullying and heavy implied child abuse)

And that’s all...?? I’m sorry for making such a long post 🙏🏿💦 Some people found it useful, so I tried to add a few more here for any OMORI Tumblr fans looking for more fun (haha..! y..yeah;;;,..; f..fun..,;!!111) If you need any details or something is troubling you... Here I am!!

Thank you for reading! Have fun and take care!

#POV Tokkori gives you some advice and messes up once more #I guess I will post some sketches anytime soon sorryy for taking so longg #Horror RPG #RPG #END ROLL #Hello Charlotte #Farethere City #Mouth Sweet #Re Kinder #Re:Kinder #Rekinder #lmao #Lobocorp #Lobotomy Corporation #Fantasy Maiden’s Odd Hideout #Tomorrow Will be Dying #indie rpg #LISA #OMORI GAME #OMORI #witchs heart #Witch's Heart #also please if you get the thing from the gif please do not hurt me

[mossy-covered-bones]

Ectober Month Day 16: Bloody Mary Maddie

WC: 2292

TWs: Dehumanization. Graphic description of medical procedures, gore, and internal organs. Character death. Please do not take these warnings lightly

Ao3

*

Maddie hurries through her preparations, almost giddy with excitement.

It wasn’t everyday she got such a unique specimen on her vivisection table, after all.

She flicked her recorder on.

“This is Doctor Madeline Fenton, recording the vivisection of Subject 001, also known as Danny Phantom. The subject is currently in a drug-induced stasis, and should be waking soon.”

Maddie picked up the clipboard she’d written her checklist out on. “As the subject displays a plethora of more human characteristics, I have attempted to measure its vitals, to see if they differ from the typical ghost. I will repeat this process once the subject is out of stasis, in case they vary.”

“Its ectosignature regularly surges and falls in strength, resembling a heart beat at a rate of approximately 20 beats per minute, a third of the expected resting heart rate for a human. Internal temperature registers at 31.3 degrees Celsius, or 88.3 degrees Fahrenheit. The subject does not appear to be breathing. Attempts to take its blood pressure have been inconclusive.”

She glanced up just in time to catch the twitch of Phantom’s fingers, the slight furrow of its brow, the fluttering of its eyelashes.

Maddie smiled to herself. “The subject is leaving stasis. Taking the second set of vitals now.”

Grabbing the ectosignature reader from her table of tools, she pressed it to Phantom’s chest, using her watch to time the surges in its ectosignature.

Phantom’s eyes opened a sliver, the unfocused electric green barely visible. “Mm… Mom? What?”

“Signature fluctuations have increased to almost 30 per minute.”

The ghost’s eyes widened a little farther, shifting down to its bounds. “What’s happening? Where is—“

Maddie flicked the signature reader to the temperature setting. “Body temperature is around 30.5 degrees Celsius, or 86.9 degrees Fahrenheit.”

Phantom’s eyes strayed to the side, settling on Maddie’s tools. It jerked against its bonds, now completely awake. “Let me go! Please, just let me go, I don’t wanna be dissected, I didn’t do anything—“ The edges of its form looked indistinct, as if it was going intangible. Good thing the table and bindings were all phase proof. Maddie had had enough ghosts down here to make most of her tools phase proof, as well.

She shook her head, making a note of the new vitals readings. “Subject is emulating human distress in an attempt to convince me to release it.

It flinched. “I’m not pretending, I swear. Please just let me go, I was just trying to help.”

“Subject appears to be at least mirroring the act of breathing, perhaps to add to the facade of panic. Future experiments will have to be conducted to determine if subject 001 actually relies on respiration for survival.” Maddie added that to the list of things she wanted to test while she still had Phantom. “As I was unable to obtain a blood pressure reading in the first set of vitals, I am deeming it unnecessary to attempt again.”

Maddie flipped to one of the blank sheets she’d left on the clipboard. “Preliminary questioning will now be conducted. Questions and responses will be recorded, however any notes on the subject’s responses or behavior will be taken down physically as to prevent response bias.”

She clicked the end of her pen a few times, making eye contact with the subject so that it was aware she was talking to it, this time. “Let’s start with something simple. What name do you go by?”

Phantom blinked up at her. “Uh… Phantom?”

“Is that all?”

“Well they called me Inviso-bill for a while, but I kinda hated it, so I tend not to bring it up. Are you really not going to dissect me?”

Given the subject had, in the past, claimed the name Danny Phantom, Maddie supposed it was leaving out the first half so as to not antagonize her. Or it had originally used the name Danny to antagonize her.

She ignored the ghost’s question. “Do you have any memories from before you died?”

Phantom blanched at the question. Was it his life he didn’t like to be reminded of, or his death?

“A simple yes or no will suffice,” Maddie added.

“…Yes.”

“How long have you been dead?”

Phantom let out a slow exhale. “Almost a year and a half?”

Which was around when Phantom had first appeared. So it didn’t need to stay in the Ghost Zone for very long after it was first formed, if forming had taken any time at all. Interesting…

“What do you remember of your death?”

Its attention slid in the direction of the portal, right hand closing into a fist. Was it thinking about trying to escape again.

It squeezed its eyes shut. “Not a lot.”

Maddie just sighed. Phantom could easily be lying to her to avoid the question—most of the other ghosts she’d captured had purposely evaded the question, or said they remembered but refused to talk about it.

“One last question, then. What is your obsession?”

“Protecting people,” it supplied, without a single hint of hesitation.

Maybe it was simply eager to talk of its obsession, but Maddie found it a little suspicious how quickly Phantom supplied the answer.

She would come up with more follow up questions later, in one of the later sessions she’d have with Phantom. It was time to get to the fun part.

Setting aside the clipboard, Maddie made for the table of tools. “Preliminary questions are concluded, notes have been made for follow ups. Beginning vivisection of subject.”

“Wait, what? I thought you were just gonna ask me some questions, please don’t—“

She grabbed the trauma shears first, making quick work of Phantom’s jumpsuit. It thrashed against its bonds as she peeled the rubber away, going intangible despite the phase proof tools, a never ending stream of pleas falling out of its mouth.

“Subject has superficially human anatomy, male, and has scars in several places. Whether the wounds were received pre or post mortem is unclear. The most notable is a lichtenberg scar, starting on the palm of its right hand. It continues up the subject’s arm, and starts to fade at its shoulder. Other mentionable scars include an uneven line starting at the left lateral part of its rib cage and ending at the anterior medial portion of the subject’s abdomen, as well as a set of three even marks on the right lateral portion of the thigh. The second resembles claw marks.”

“Please stop, please just let me go—“

Maddie picked up the scalpel.

“Wait, please, I’m Danny! I swear, Mom, I’ll prove it! Just don’t hurt me.”

How could it possibly expect her to believe that? Still, she was curious… “What proof?”

Phantom smiled in apparent relief. Bright white light washed over it.

Maddie felt like she was going to be sick. The scars were still there but it looked exactly like her baby boy.

“See? I’m Danny.”

She swallowed. “Change back.”

Phantom frowned. “What?”

“Change back,” Maddie hissed. This… this… ectoplasmic impression of post human consciousness had the audacity to try and guilt her into setting it free by looking like her son…

The white light washed over Phantom again, and it was back to normal. It had a confused expression on its face.

Maddie took a deep breath to steady herself, to draw back into the emotional distance these procedures required.

She resumed her documentation.

“Subject 001 demonstrated the ability to take on the appearance of other humans, without green or red eyes indicative of possession. The extent of this ability is unclear, but it could explain how it has, until now, been able to evade capture. Oddly enough, the scars mentioned previously are still visible on the subject when adopting the guise of a human.”

Phantom was now staring up at her with what resembled fear and disbelief. “You don’t believe me.”

“It can also be concluded that the subject is intelligent enough to recognize my emotional attachment to my children and attempt to exploit me through those means.” Maddie ignored the twisting in her gut at the thought of her actual son strapped to her vivisection table, and started her first incision.

Ectoplasm welled up under her knife, bright green and viscous.

Phantom started to scream.

Throat to navel, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. Three neat lines, two flaps of skin for her to pull back. She pinned both open.

“On a deeper level, it appears the subject continues to mirror human anatomy. The layering of skin and muscle seems almost identical, and there are no irregularities in the organs in the subject’s thoracic and abdominal cavities, at first glance.”

Phantom was sobbing, green-tinged tears rolling down its cheeks and into its hair.

Its breath hitched as Maddie plunged her hands into its intestines. “Abdominal cavity is, upon closer inspection, exactly resembling a human’s. The only notable difference is that the structure is made entirely of ectoplasm. Also, since ghosts have no purpose for a gastrointestinal tract, it is most likely nonfunctional.”

Maddie ignored the green gore smeared all the way up to her elbows, leaving the large intestines to the side of the specimen as she moved up to the thoracic cavity.

She took a moment to admire the realistic looking tissue lining the diaphragm. It was moving, simulating breathing. If it weren’t for the ectoplasm, she’d have thought she was cutting open an actual human.

“Subject has the expected number of ribs, although many have old breaks and hairline fractures.” The cartilage was also glowing a slight green. Odd.

Maddie grabbed a bonesaw from her toolset, switching it on. The sound of it cutting through Phantom’s sternum was almost drowned out by the ghost’s screams.

She opened the ribcage the rest of the way with her hands, undoubtedly dislocating some of Phantom’s ribs. It was a ghost, it's not like she had to minimize damage by carefully cutting the bones out.

With the ribs out of the way, Maddie got her first proper glimpse at the organs of Phantom’s thoracic cavity.

“Lungs are expanding and deflating in time with the subject’s breathing.” She shifted the left lung half out of the ghost’s chest. “Heart appears to be beating as well.”

Phantom’s screams died out, its eyes rolling into the back of its skull. Maddie kept going, regardless.

She shifted the lungs a little farther, carefully inspecting the area around Phantom’s heart. Finally, her eyes fell on a small, hardened sphere of ectoplasm. A core

Phantom glowed white again, odd green anatomy replaced with the red flush of human blood.

“The subject is once again trying to emotionally manipulate me by taking on the guise of my son,” Maddie grunted. She tried to ignore it, instead grabbing the ghost’s still visible core.

The rhythm of the heart and lungs had slowed considerably, stopping as Maddie pulled Phantom’s core from his chest.

She hummed. “Heart and lungs stopped operating once subject returned to stasis. I have its core in my hands now, as well. Hopefully that will keep it from using any of its abilities, and other tests can be run.” The core was placed in a sample jar, filled with diluted ectoplasm, to sustain it.

Maddie turned her eyes back to Phantom.

It was uncanny, how closely it resembled Danny in this state. It had all of the details of his face Maddie had memorized in the fifteen years she spent raising him. Even down to the red blood.

She suddenly felt very uneasy about having a Danny lookalike cut open in her lab.

Would Phantom be able to maintain this form much longer while it was in stasis? It seemed unlikely, unless it was an unconscious defense mechanism. Then again, Phantom had been able to do it on command.

Maddie felt a sudden urge to check on her son.

“Vivisection concluded. Further tests are postponed until Phantom is no longer in stasis,” Maddie announced, beginning to strip herself of the ectoplasm-coated PPE. She flicked the recorder off, instead picking up her phone to dial the number for the Foley household, where she supposed Danny would be right now.

…

The Foleys said that their son was home, but that Danny wasn’t with him.

Maddie chanced a call to the Mansons, next, but got the same results.

She called Jasmine.

It went to voicemail.

She turned to Phantom, spread out on her vivisection table, looking for all the world like she’d cut open her own son.

Red had pooled on the table, in his open chest. Blood. It was smeared into the ectoplasm, staining the ends of the gloves Maddie had just doffed.

Her eyes trailed, unbidden, to the jar she’d stuck Phantom’s core in.

It was starting to liquidize, the ectoplasm dissolving into the solution and tinging it just a little more green than before.

Phantom’s core was collapsing. Which means it was dying. Which means Phantom should be turning into a puddle of ectoplasm on her vivisection table.

The only thing pooling on that table was blood.

Despite the logical side of Maddie knowing there was no way for someone to be both alive and a ghost at the same time, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had just done the unthinkable.

She stepped closer to the table, looking at the tear-stained face of her son, eyes still rolled back from when he’d finally passed out while she had her hands sunk into his insides.

Maddie let out a sob, short and harsh. Her shoulders were shaking, her vision blurring with tears.

She cupped her son’s face, not caring as blood and ectoplasm alike got smeared onto her bare skin. Danny wasn’t warm to the touch. He felt like a corpse.

“Oh, god, what have I done?”

#i poured sooo much of my one whole high school anatomy class into this. kinda proud of how it turned out #madeline fenton #danny fenton #danny phantom #danny phantom fic #vivisection #blood #gore #death #gore tw #blood tw #death tw #angst #very very angsty #dead dove do not eat #sev writes #oneshot #ectober month #ectober month 2021 #ectoberhaunt 2021 #ectoberhaunt trick #what other fandom lets me write about someone cutting their son open. literally none

[maybeimamuppet]

lost and found

hey little muppets!! happy wednesday!! its occurred to me that i should probably stop using that as my greeting because chances are higher that you are not reading this on a wednesday. whatevs.

anyway!! into the heavy stuff :(

tw for:

pregnancy

childbirth (nothing graphic)

cheating/infidelity

implied domestic verbal abuse

discussion of abortion

divorce

abandonment?? kinda sorta??

and as always if I've missed something please let me know so i can add that in :))

enjoy!

---------

Janis is making herself dinner and trying not to think too deeply about her life when she gets the message.

Getting a text from Cady is normal, they usually chat a bit at least once a day. Sometimes it’s just a good morning or goodnight message, but it’s still nice to keep in touch. Cady’s busy with her studies and work and husband, and Janis is busy with her own work and her cat and trying to get her commissions business up and running. Getting in touch whenever they can is normal.

What isn’t normal is Cady’s tone within the text.

caddycat: Hey are you busy??

jayjay: nah i’m just making dinner

jayjay: why what’s up

caddycat: Could I maybe come over for a little bit???

caddycat: Please

jayjay: yeah ofc

jayjay: is everything ok ??

caddycakes: I don’t know yet

jayjay: uhm… ok

jayjay: let me know if u need anything

caddycakes: I will

caddycakes: Thank you Jay

caddycakes: I’ll be over in an hour

jayjay: anytime <33

—-

Cady knocks on the door an hour later. Janis opens it to find her visibly shaking and clutching a shopping bag.

“Hey, Cads,” she says. “Need a hug?”

“Please,” Cady replies, sounding seconds away from tears. Janis immediately pulls her in, kicking the door shut behind Cady and holding her close.

“What’s going on?”

Cady inhales sharply. That’s never a good sign. She stutters out, “I-I… I think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” Janis says. She peeks into the bag Cady has and finds it to be full of pregnancy tests. “Is this, like, a happy thing? Do you want a baby?”

“I do,” Cady says miserably. “But Aaron… I don’t-I don’t think he does. I don’t know what to do, I-“

“Hey, shh,” Janis calms. “We don’t know for sure yet, there’s no reason to freak out now. We’ll do the tests when you’re ready and go from there, okay?”

“Okay,” Cady says, taking some deep breaths.

“Have you eaten? I have extra food,” Janis murmurs. “It’s just chicken and rice, it should go down easy.”

“That sounds nice,” Cady replies. “Hi Picasso.”

Janis’ cat beeps at her in reply, confused as to why she’s not picking him up for cuddles and pets like she normally does. He purrs and winds around their legs to try to coax some response.

“Soso, Caddy’s upset,” Janis scolds. “Let her get comfy before you try to get all her attention, you little whore. Where are your manners? I raised you better than this.”

Cady gives a weak giggle at that, following Janis and the cat to the kitchen. Janis plates up the extra portion she has and gives it to her. Picasso leaps onto the table to try and steal some, but is quickly foiled by Janis hauling him off and imprisoning him in her bedroom.

Cady eats slowly, pushing her food around the plate and taking a bite every few minutes. It’s good, but she’s so lost in her mind that she can’t focus on anything. Janis tidies up from cooking and lets Cady take her time.

Cady looks up at her when she finally finishes. Janis takes and washes her plate, then points to the bag standing ominously between them. Cady takes a deep breath and nods.

-

Cady does everything she needs to and sets a timer for all the tests. She clings to Janis once her hands and the bathroom have been sanitized and she’s waiting for the results.

“Either way, it’ll be okay,” Janis comforts. “One way or another. It’ll work out.”

Cady nods, but she still locks up when her timer goes off. “Could-could you… maybe check them for me? I’ll clean everything first, I just-I can’t… I can’t do this myself, I need everything to be okay for a few more seconds.”

“It will be,” Janis says. “You’re not alone. I’ll check them for you.”

“Thank you,” Cady says shakily. Janis nods and releases her to go get everything set up.

Cady opens the door again and gestures to the tests all lying face down on the counter. Janis steps in and takes her hand.

“Can you make sure they match? Before you tell me?” Cady mumbles. “If they’re all the same it’s a better gauge. If it’s a mix it could go either way.”

“Okay,” Janis says. Cady turns around and covers her ears so she can’t get any sense of Janis’ reaction to them.

Janis picks up the first test, a small white stick with a pink cap. She flips it over and sees two pink lines. It’s positive. The second one of the same brand is also positive. So is a flimsy paper one, and a digital one with a blue cap, and… the rest of them.

“Cads,” Janis says, just loud enough that Cady can hear her. Cady warily turns around and uncovers her ears.

“All the same?”

“Yeah,” Janis says. Cady takes a deep breath and pinches her middle fingernail.

“What… what are they?”

“They’re all positive,” Janis says quietly. “You’re pregnant.”

“Oh god,” Cady whimpers, immediately bursting into tears. Janis wraps her in a tight hug. “What am I gonna do, Jay? I-I-“

“Hey, shh,” Janis comforts. “Let’s get out of my gross bathroom first, come on.”

Cady doesn’t even grin at that, she just takes Janis’ hand and follows her to the couch. Janis has never seen her like this. Cady sinks down onto the soft cushions and curls in on herself, burying her head in her hands and weeping. Janis gently tugs her closer, and Cady tips to rest her head on Janis’ shoulder.

“You still have options,” Janis murmurs gently, rubbing Cady’s back in a desperate but ditch attempt to comfort her. “Do-do you want an abortion? I can go with you if you do. Aaron would never have to know if you don’t want him to.”

“No,” Cady chokes immediately. “I-you know me, I’d support any-anyone who needed one, or wanted one, but… I-I can’t do that.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure,” Janis says. “But you still don’t have to tell him right away. You have time before he’d catch on or notice anything.”

“He deserves to know,” Cady mumbles. “It is his baby. I-I… If he doesn’t… take it well, could… no, I can’t ask-“

“You can absolutely come back if he doesn’t react well,” Janis butts in. “I don’t have… a spectacular amount of room, but we’ll make a place for you. Picasso would love having you around a bit more.”

“Thank you,” Cady chokes. “I-he gets home tomorrow afternoon from his-his business trip, I’m gonna… I’ll tell him then.”

“Okay,” Janis says, pulling Cady a bit closer. “You can text me with what he says. I’ll come get you if he doesn’t take it well. But I’m sure he will, you guys would make great parents.”

“Thank you,” Cady sobs again. “For everything. You’re such a good friend.”

Janis’ heart aches a bit at that. Friend. “Of course.”

—-

Cady spends the night in Janis’ bed and in Janis’ pajamas. Janis sleeps on the couch to give her her space, but she can still hear Cady venting to Picasso well into the night.

Cady leaves just after breakfast. Janis spends the day worrying, pacing back and forth around her apartment and chewing her fingertips raw. Eventually she has to bust out her sketchbook and pencils to distract herself.

Cady never texts.

-

The first Janis hears all day is around eight in the evening. A knock on the door, again. She opens it to find Cady on the other side, sobbing heavily and clutching a small overnight bag.

“Oh god, Caddy,” Janis says sadly as Cady immediately lunges forward and starts crying into her shoulder.

“He-he left me,” she wails. “He’s not-not coming back.”

“Fucker,” Janis grumbles. “I’m so sorry, Peanut.”

“And-and he’s been cheat-cheating on me. He wasn’t on-on a business trip.”

Janis is seething by this point, having to actively restrain herself from hunting Aaron down and removing his testicles in a particularly violent fashion. But Cady is here right now, and she needs comfort more than Janis needs vengeance.

“I’m so sorry,” Janis murmurs. “Come here.”

She picks Cady up, very mindful of her belly, and carries her back over to the couch. Cady doesn’t let go. She just cries and cries, and Janis lets her.

“We’ll figure this out together,” Janis murmurs into her hair. She’s not sure if Cady can actually hear her over the force of her sobbing. But she has to say it. “You’re not doing this alone. You can stay here as long as you need.”

Picasso leaps up and worms his way in between them, settling on Cady’s legs and purring full force in an attempt to comfort. Cady doesn’t acknowledge him, but Picasso knows she’s grateful he’s there too.

-

Hours later, Cady finally calms down. Janis knows she’s not feeling any better, though. She simply ran out of tears to cry. “Do you wanna go shower? I’ll make dinner and get everything set up for you.”

Cady nods hollowly, finally giving Picasso a little peck on the forehead and Janis a final squeeze before she pads off to the bathroom.

Janis strips off her sheets and remakes the bed with her softest set, then fluffs the pillows and blankets so Cady has a nice place to sleep for the foreseeable future. She also remembers that Cady will need towels, so she grabs the softest few and leaves them outside with a knock to let Cady know they’re there.

-

Cady comes back about forty five minutes later, clad in Janis’ bathrobe and her auburn curls still dripping slightly. She presses against Janis’ back as she stands in front of the stove.

“Hey,” Janis greets quietly, switching the heat off. “How you feeling?”

“Empty,” Cady whispers. “But better, I guess. I’m just trying to process everything.”

Janis hums sadly and nods. “I have spaghetti. I didn’t add anything to it, I know pregnancy can kinda… mess with stuff, I didn’t know if you have anything you can’t eat anymore.”

“Not yet, luckily,” Cady replies, finally giving the smallest hint of a smile. “Least this kid can do is go easy on me.”

“Seriously,” Janis chuckles sardonically. “I have sauce if you want, or you can just freeball it.”

“This is fine,” Cady says as she takes her portion. “Thank you, Jay.”

“Of course,” Janis replies.

It’s a lot nicer to eat together.

—————

Janis does every possible thing she can to help Cady over the next few weeks. She helps get divorce proceedings started, goes with her to the clinic to get tested for STIs since Aaron had been exposing her (thankfully, everything was negative), and helps her find a doctor for the baby.

Cady asks her to come to the first scan with her, and Janis agrees in a heartbeat. She’s rather invested in the whole thing now, anyway.

Cady doesn’t let go of her hand through the whole vitals check and preparation process. Janis supposes she needs some sort of physical reminder she’s there. And she’s all too happy to oblige.

“Here’s your little one,” the doctor says once the ultrasound has started. “Face is up here, and then you can see some extremities starting to take shape.”

Cady and Janis both look as she points to all the parts. The baby is still vaguely shrimp-shaped, but it’s remarkably cute already. Janis gently squeezes Cady’s hand.

“Everything looks beautiful, I’m not seeing any major abnormalities or anything else to be worried about,” the doctor continues. “Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

Cady nods, so the doctor flips a switch on the machine. A strange sort of pulsing sound fills the room.

“That’s you, hold on,” the doctor says. She shifts a bit and a similar, but more rapid sound can be heard. “Here’s baby.”

“Oh my god,” Cady whispers, holding her free hand over her mouth as she bursts into tears. “Hi baby.”

Janis finds herself holding back a few tears as well. It’s really hitting her now that Cady is actually pregnant and is actually going to have a baby soon. Man, I really am getting old.

“Sounds perfect, congratulations mamas,” the doctor says.

“Oh, we’re not together,” Janis corrects immediately. Cady, oddly enough, keeps quiet. “I’m just a friend.”

“Oh, my apologies,” the doctor replies, looking as if she doesn’t believe that for a second. “You’re about thirteen weeks along, so you’re due around the twentieth of October. Just a few more things and then we’ll let you go.”

Cady continues crying gently throughout the rest of the scan. Janis doesn’t know if she’s happy or upset by the events. Probably both. She never lets go of Cady’s hand, either.

“You okay?” she says when the doctor finally hands Cady her photos and leaves them alone.

“Yeah,” Cady sniffles, wiping her eyes. “It just kind of hit me now that there’s… a baby in me.”

“Me too. I get a mini-Caddy to play with,” Janis chuckles. “And you’re due around my birthday too, maybe I’ll get a twin.”

“You already look exactly like Veronica, don’t be greedy,” Cady teases. “Take me home.”

“Fine,” Janis laughs. Cady’s choice of words gives her pause. Home.

————-

In May, Cady is officially freed from Aaron and dubbed Cady Jane Heron once more. It was a long and difficult process, but Janis was there every step of the way. Child support payments are set in order for when the baby is born, and Cady gets their house in the settlement. But she doesn’t want it, and that’s a problem.

“Janis?” she asks about a week after everything finally settles.

“Hmm?”

“Could you maybe… help me move? I can’t stay in that house,” Cady says anxiously. “God, I’ll have to find a place, too, I didn’t even think of that.”

“Why?” Janis asks. “You can stay here. Picasso and I like having you around.”

“I like being here,” Cady replies. “But I can’t raise a kid in an apartment this small. No offense.”

“None taken,” Janis chuckles. She tucks her paintbrush behind her ear and swipes her hand over her forehead, unknowingly smearing it with purple. “Uh… you can totally say no, but would you maybe want to… move in together? Like, to a house or a bigger apartment? That way I’d still be around to help with the baby and stuff, and you might… not feel so alone?”

“That would be great,” Cady agrees immediately, visibly relaxing. She tenses again rather abruptly. “Whoa.”

“What?” Janis asks in a panic, rushing over to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Cady says as she reaches for her. Janis is confused when she takes one of her hands and rests it on the side of her belly, until she feels a little pop pop pop flutter against her hand.

“Holy shit!” Janis yelps. “Baby peanut can move!”

“This is the first time they’ve kicked,” Cady laughs through her tears. “Man, they’re excited.”

“That’s so weird, oh my god,” Janis says, squealing as another round of kicks begins beneath her hand.

“It is kinda weird,” Cady agrees. “Like Alien.”

“I fucking hope not,” Janis chuckles. She bends down a bit closer to Cady’s tummy. “Hello little creature inhabiting my friend. I’m your auntie. I’m gonna spoil you so much, and probably steal you from your mom sometimes so we can hang out. Maybe I’ll teach you how to paint. But I’m gonna buy you so much candy, and toys, and stuffed animals. I’m your cool auntie.”

“You’re so sweet,” Cady laughs. “Thank you. For being here for us.” I love you.

“Of course,” Janis replies. She can’t bring herself to look at Cady or risk ruining everything. I love you too.

Janis coughs slightly and heads back to her easel. “Dame follows the real estate market like a hawk, he can probably help us find a place. And he’s still got dance muscles so he can help physically. I’ll make him.”

“Why does he do that?”

“Hell if I know,” Janis shrugs. “We both just know not to question anything the other one does anymore.”

“Fair enough,” Cady giggles. “Oh, I should probably… tell him about the baby, huh?”

“Yeah, probably,” Janis laughs. “Have you told anyone?”

“Just you and my family,” Cady replies. “And… him.”

“Fucker,” Janis huffs. “Oh, I should probably start learning to stop swearing.”

“Eh,” Cady shrugs, stretching out on the couch and watching Janis work. “It’s part of you. If they pick it up we can deal with it later.”

“Tits.”

—————

Janis apparently massively underestimated Damian’s abilities, because he manages to find them a three bedroom apartment in a decent part of the city for a reasonable price. And agrees to help them move.

“So why the sudden rush to move?” he asks as he helps them start packing. “I mean, I get Janis not wanting to sleep on the couch anymore, but why three bedrooms? Are you pregnant?”

He’s clearly joking, but Cady freezes. “Um…”

“Wait, really?” Damian asks excitedly, looking up at her from the ground. Cady nods. “You’re pregnant?! And you didn’t tell me?”

“I forgot, I haven’t told anyone,” Cady replies sheepishly. “Surprise?”

“Oh my god, Caddy!” Damian says, scrambling to his feet and running to hug her. “Congratulations, oh my god! Tell me everything.”

Cady laughs and hugs him back. “Not much to tell, really. Baby’s healthy, I’m healthy. I’m due in October, I decided not to find out the sex.” She cups her oversized shirt to show off her bump. “But your little niece or nephew is in here.”

“Oh my god, you’re so cute!” Damian squeals. “Hi baby bump. Damian junior.”

“Absolutely not,” Janis calls as she enters from the bedroom carrying a box. “I can’t handle two of you.”

“And what if it’s a girl?” Cady laughs.

“Damiana.” Damian replies immediately. “What? That’s a good name!”

“I’ll think about it,” Cady jokes, popping up to kiss his cheek. “You two are gonna be the best auntie and uncle.”

Damian notices how forced Janis’ smile is when she looks at Cady. Luckily, he decides now isn’t the time to mention it and instead says, “Hell yeah. This is gonna be the cutest baby ever.”

“Thanks,” Cady laughs. “Has some good genes, I hope they turn out cute.”

“Mini Caddy,” Damian says.

“Mini Caddy,” Janis agrees with a nod. “Damie, this is heavy, will you carry it for me?”

“What happened to being a ‘strong, independent woman who don’t need no man’?” Damian teases. Janis just points to her box again.

“You’re more of a woman than I will ever be,” she says affectionately. “But you’re also stronger. Chop chop.”

“Fine. But only because I’m happy that I finally get to be an uncle.”

—————

“Caddy! I found the best thing ever at the store ever!”

“Oh?” Cady hums, turning around from the stove as Janis comes barreling in. Janis nods eagerly.

“I found a Halloween costume for the baby!”

“Jay, it’s August,” Cady laughs.

“So?” Janis defends. “They’ll be here by Halloween. And it’s versatile.”

“You’re cute. What did you find?”

Janis roots through her bag and pulls out a teeny tiny lion costume along with a binkie decorated to look like a lion nose.

“Oh my gosh,” Cady says, immediately taking it and holding it up to her tummy. “This is so cute!”

“Why are you crying?” Janis asks worriedly.

“Sorry,” Cady sobs, wiping her eyes carefully before feeling the material of the mane on the hood and the fabric of the little paws. “I’m, like, really hormonal lately.”

“Don’t apologize,” Janis says, hugging her friend as close as she can around Cady’s belly. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Cady sniffles with a laugh. “You thought of everything. It even has mittens so they can’t scratch themselves. And it’s just warm enough to keep them cozy without overheating. My little cub, I can’t wait.”

“I can’t either,” Janis agrees. “You’re gonna be an amazing mom.”

“I hope so,” Cady whispers, resting a hand on her stomach.

————-

“What are you doing?” Janis asks when she comes home from work to find Cady sitting on the ground by the coffee table surrounded by several different kinds of curry.

“I read that spicy food can induce labor,” Cady replies with a shrug. She doesn’t look at all bothered by the one she’s eating. “I’m sick of being pregnant, I figured it was worth a shot.”

“I think that’s a myth,” Janis laughs. “But I get it, it has to be uncomfortable by now.”

“You think?” Cady huffs. “I’m huge. I look like I have a basketball stuck to me.”

“You’re beautiful,” Janis replies quietly. She grabs a fork and takes a bite of the curry Cady was eating. “Jesus Christ, that’s so spicy!”

“Is it? I didn’t think it was that bad,” Cady laughs. Janis snatches the water bottle she offers and chugs about half of it in one go. “You good?”

Janis gives a thumbs up and continues drinking after a breath. “Great.”

“I can finish the rest,” Cady chuckles. “Try this one, it was the mild one.”

Janis warily takes the offered portion and tries a bite. “This is better.”

“Then have at it,” Cady says. Janis digs in happily. She forgot her lunch, so she’s been hungry all day. But Cady is quiet.

“You good?” Janis repeats quietly, gently nudging Cady with a foot under the coffee table.

“Yeah,” Cady murmurs. “I’m just thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

“Them,” Cady says, holding her tummy. “As much as I hate being pregnant, I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready. They really could come any day.”

“You don’t have to be totally ready,” Janis replies. “I think if we’re both about half ready we’ll be solid. And we baby-proofed everything, so they’ll be safe while we work it out.”

Cady smiles at her. “How do you always know what to say?”

“I know you,” Janis shrugs.

“That you do,” Cady agrees quietly. “That you do.”

————-

“Janis?” Cady calls from her room at around midnight that night. Janis comes barreling in to check on her and promptly crashes into the doorframe.

“Ow,” she groans in defeat. Cady winces and comes to check her out.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Janis sighs. “Are you okay?”

“Oh!” Cady says, appearing to remember something. “Uh, no, I’m in labor. The curry worked after all, I guess.”

“You what?!”

“My water just broke. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine! We should go,” Janis says in a voice about three octaves higher than normal.

“Okay,” Cady chuckles. “Lead the way.”

—-

“Are you sure you want me here?” Janis asks quietly once Cady is all hooked up to monitors and cozy in her hospital bed. “This is kinda personal for you.”

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Cady replies sadly. “But it would really help me to have you here. You’ve seen my vagina enough at all their appointments. You’re basically their other parent by this point.”

Janis flushes at that. “Then I guess I’ll stay.”

“Good,” Cady grins. “Just let me know if you’re gonna pass out.”

“I could handle it in health class in middle school, I think I can handle this,” Janis replies. “Just try not to make this a regular thing.”

“Definitely not,” Cady agrees, breathing through a contraction. “And, um… thank you. For everything. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, let’s get this kid out of you first,” Janis chuckles. “But you’re welcome. I can’t wait to meet them.”

“Me either,” Cady says as another contraction hits right after the last. “Jesus.”

Cady seems to have jinxed herself with that. Everything suddenly progresses more rapidly, and she’s surrounded by doctors before she’s totally aware of what’s happening.

-

Cady’s daughter is born at 5:26 in the morning on October seventeenth, 2025. Janis was by her side the whole time, providing water and ice and encouragement whenever Cady needed them. She cries along with Cady as her child is rested on her chest and cleaned off.

“Hi, baby girl,” Cady sobs quietly, gently holding one of the baby’s little hands. “Oh, shh, I know. That wasn’t fun for either of us, huh?”

“She’s beautiful,” Janis sniffles as Cady and the baby both get patched up and covered with a soft blanket. “She looks just like you.”

The baby really does, with her bright red hair, big blue eyes, and the chubbiest cheeks Janis has ever seen. There’s barely a lick of Aaron in her, thankfully.

Cady smiles and scoots her baby up to kiss the top of her head. “Thank you.”

Janis just nods. “Nice job, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Cady laughs. “God, that was horrific. I think you’re an only child, little one.”

“Probably a fair call,” Janis laughs.

She and Cady continue cooing over the little one for a long while. Janis feels strange. She feels like she’s intruding on this private moment between a mother and her child, but she also feels like she’s finally found a family of her own. Like this is her baby.

-

“Do you wanna hold her?” Cady asks after several hours of snuggling her newborn.

“Uh… sure,” Janis says anxiously. A nurse comes in to get all of her measurements, then swaddles the baby and passes her to Janis. Janis takes her hesitantly and gives her a gentle rock. “Hello there.”

“I think she likes you,” Cady giggles as her daughter stares up at Janis’ face. Janis smiles back down at the little being in her arms.

“What’s her name?”

“Maya,” Cady replies as she takes the pen to add it to the birth certificate. “Maya Jay Heron.”

“What?” Janis asks in shock, snapping her head to look at Cady.

“This isn’t an impulse thing, don’t worry,” Cady replies with a chuckle. “You’ve done so much for me. For us. You’re already a better parent than her sperm donor. I think Jay is a perfect middle name.” She continues filling out the form, and gasps when she sees the date on it. “Janis, it’s your birthday! You got your twin after all.”

Janis somehow smiles wider. “Hey, man. Stealing my birthday, what the heck?”

“But look at that sweet face,” Cady pouts. Janis hesitantly brings the baby up and kisses her forehead, earning herself a quiet but happy squeak in response.

“She looks so much like you,” Janis says quietly. “I guess I can live with it. As long as she likes chocolate cake.”

“She’s my kid, of course she will,” Cady chuckles. “You two are sweet together.”

“Thanks,” Janis says quietly, trying to hide her blush. “I kinda like her.”

“We kinda like you too.”

————-

Cady and the baby get released from the hospital about a day later. Janis and Cady are both completely taken with the new little human living in their house. Picasso is a bit more unsure. Maya’s a sweet baby, but very, very loud. Janis quickly gets used to being woken up in the wee hours of the morning by the wails of the babe, or hearing her shriek through the afternoon.

She’s not quite so used to hearing Cady cry along with her. So Janis decides to check on things.

“Caddy? What’s the matter?”

“I can’t do this, Janis,” Cady sobs, holding a screaming wriggly baby. Her hair is disheveled and clearly hasn’t been brushed in several days, her clothes are stained with all sorts of… baby fluids, and she looks as if she hasn’t slept in years.

“You already are,” Janis says quietly. “You’re doing great.”

“She won’t stop crying, I don’t-I don’t know what she needs,” Cady continues weeping. “She won’t eat, I can’t get her to-to sleep. I’m a horrible mother!”

“No, you’re not,” Janis says. “You’re a great mom. Newborns just… do that sometimes. You’re doing so well.”

“But-but listen to her,” Cady whimpers.

“Can I take her?” Janis asks gently. Cady nods and carefully hands her the baby. “You need more rest than you’re getting. I’ll get her calmed down and maybe take her to get some fresh air. You should shower and change clothes, and eat something. And nap. Picasso will take care of you in the meantime.”

Cady looks like she’s about to protest, but she knows she’s been neglecting her own health and self care. So Cady nods. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Janis says, bouncing Maya a few times in a ditch attempt to hush her.

“She has-has bottles,” Cady sniffles. “In the fridge, if she’s hungry. But she won’t usually-”

“Okay,” Janis says, cutting Cady off. “You just take it easy, I got her for a while. I’ll work it out.”

Cady nods and kisses Maya’s forehead gently before making her way to her bathroom.

“Okay, let’s figure you out, hm?” Janis murmurs to the wailing baby in her hold. Maya quiets for a split second when she hears her voice, but quickly continues her screaming. Janis checks her diaper and finds nothing, so that can’t be it. Cady probably already tried feeding her. What else do babies need?

Janis takes to Google. She doesn’t want to admit it, but all the research she did on babies may not be enough. She reads up on something called colic and learns that swaddling can help. Maya has her own little dresser in Cady’s room for the time being, so Janis roots through it until she finds a swaddle and then heads to the living room to figure out how to turn the baby in her arms into an effective burrito.

Janis manages with another internet search. It’s not quite right, but the baby is cocooned well enough. “There we go, is that better?”

Maya looks at her, her face still red from her exertion. Janis rocks her carefully a couple times to try to calm her further. But Maya gives another pitiful wail.

“Let’s try feeding you again,” Janis says. “Shh, Maya, please. You’re okay, I promise.”

Maya continues wailing and trying to wiggle out of her little straitjacket while Janis heats up one of her bottles under the tap and checks the temperature.

“Shh, little one,” Janis soothes, offering Maya the bottle. Maya latches immediately and goes quiet, just giving her little squeaks periodically as she suckles the milk away. “There we go! Auntie Janis to the rescue.”

Janis carries the baby over to the couch and sits down, staring down at the tiny thing in her arms. She grins slightly at the quiet nuk nuk nuk she can hear as Maya goes to town on her bottle.

“God, you look like Caddy,” she murmurs. “You’re absolutely beautiful. But you need to go easy on your mama, she’s been through a lot lately. And she worked really hard to get you here. And she’s still working, trying to make sure you’re healthy and getting bigger and happy. She’s doing a good job, huh?” Maya grunts at her. “Yeah. We both love you a whole lot, little one. Especially when you’re all cute like this and not screaming at us.”

Maya looks Janis in the eye and blinks a few times. Janis feels a sort of shock hit her gut at the level of trust in the tiny blue eyes. She may not have given Maya life, but she knows she’ll protect this baby to the ends of the Earth. Maya will know how much she’s loved. Janis will make sure of it.

“That’s better, huh?” Janis asks once Maya finishes off the bottle. “Tasty milk in your little belly. I guess I should burp you. How… how do I do that?”

Janis has vague memories of watching her own mother take care of her baby sister, and decides to try propping Maya up against her shoulder and drumming on her back. It should do something, even if it’s not what she’s wanting.

She winds up getting a bit more than she bargained for when Maya spits up all down the back of her shirt. “Oh, nice. Feeling better?” Maya just gives a quiet coo against her shoulder. “Then I guess I can’t complain. Now it’s time for Auntie Janis fun time. Patent pending.”

Janis carries the baby to her own bedroom and sets her down on the bed, then carefully blockades her in with pillows even though Maya can’t go anywhere yet. She changes out of her now stained shirt and into something a bit warmer, frantically looking over to check on the little one as soon as her eyes pop out of one shirt and into the other.

“It’s kind of chilly outside, I don’t know what you have in the way of warm clothes,” Janis hums thoughtfully when she picks Maya back up. Luckily for her, the baby is already starting to drift off now that her tummy is all full of warm milk. Janis carries her back to Cady’s room to look for a warm outfit.

The lion outfit she purchased is about the warmest thing she can find, and is the only thing that would cover Maya’s tiny ears to protect them from the chill. Janis grabs it and unswaddles the little blanket pocket to get Maya changed.

“Well aren’t you just the cutest little lion cub,” Janis coos when she sees her in it for the first time. She bought the smallest size, but Maya is still practically swimming in it. She appears to have gotten Cady’s genes in the size department as well. “Tiny little peanut. Okay, here’s your little… baby storage device, how does this work?”

Janis manages to strap the baby carrier to herself with some degree of success, finagling all the buckles into their correct places. It’s only after she has it on correctly that she realizes that the baby is supposed to go in first. So she takes it off and tries again, ending up with eight pounds of baby perfectly strapped to her chest.

“Haha,” Janis cheers victoriously. “There we go. You comfy, Emmy?” Maya squeaks quietly as Janis kisses her soft hair. It’s just starting to curl on top, which Janis is delighted to see. “Yeah? Okay, let’s go.”

Janis grabs her backpack and phone and keys, along with Maya’s diaper bag. She texts Cady to let her know where they’re going and is out the door.

-

Maya sleeps through most of their walk through the park. Janis decides she quite likes having the baby in the carrier. It’s a nice reminder of her presence but less strain on her arms. She can faintly hear Maya squeak and grunt around her pacifier as she has little baby dreams pressed against her chest.

Janis snaps a few photos of crows and the fall leaves around to use as painting references later as they walk around. She also keeps sneaking little glances at the kids running around the playground, rushing down slides and hurtling back and forth on the swings.

“I hope I’m still around this much when you’re big enough for those, My,” she murmurs quietly, drumming gently on Maya’s back and kissing the top of her head. “But I guess your mama’s happiness is more important. If I’m not then that means she’s found someone who makes her happy. Someone to take care of you. That’s all I really care about. But for now I like getting to see you grow up. Spend time with you and your mama.”

Maya doesn’t respond, still deep in the throes of her nap. But Janis’ phone does, pinging off her text tone. It turns out to be Cady asking if she would mind picking up some diapers and dinner. Janis texts back an affirmative and starts the trek to the nearest store.

-

“How old is your baby?”

“Huh?” Janis asks, her hand pausing as she reaches for the right size of diapers. “Oh, she’s two weeks old today.”

“Wow, you look great,” an elderly woman replies. “Only two weeks postpartum.”

“Oh, she’s not… she’s not mine,” Janis says quietly. “She’s my best friend’s. I’m just auntie.”

The woman shakes her head knowingly. “Not with the way you look at that little one. That’s a mother’s look, that baby is as much yours as she is your friend’s. You two will learn that eventually. Congratulations to her mother, though. A beautiful little thing.”

“Uhm… thank you?” Janis says, blinking in confusion as she tries to process everything she’s just been told and wondering if she’s just met some sort of witch or faerie. It is Halloween today. But the woman just nods and continues hobbling along to shop for her own groceries. “The fuck was that?”

Janis manages to stuff some discount candy into her various bags at checkout, and carries the diapers and microwave dinners home in her hands.

-

“There you are,” Cady says happily when Janis comes through the door. “How did you get her so quiet?”

“Uh… I swaddled her and gave her a bottle, then burped her and she just fell asleep,” Janis recalls as she starts putting things away.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Cady says. “She took a bottle?”

“Yeah?”

“She hasn’t taken one before,” Cady murmurs. “Man, I’ll have to keep you around. Baby whisperer.”

Janis chuckles quietly at that. “I’ll be here as long as you want me. You look better.”

“I feel better,” Cady agrees quietly. “Thank you. How was she?”

“Once I got some milk in her she was fine,” Janis shrugs. “Snoozed for most of our trip, never fussed. I really like this thing.” Janis points to the baby carrier still stuck to her.

“It is handy,” Cady agrees with a chuckle.

“Oh, by the way, um… I know it’s, like, totally not my place, but have you looked into her having colic at all?” Janis continues as she carefully starts undoing all the buckles to free Maya. “I know Google also isn’t the place for medical stuff, but it sounds a lot like her.”

“Oh my god, of course,” Cady murmurs. “I didn’t even think of that. I took care of the little ones in the villages in Kenya sometimes, I had colic babies all the time. It just never crossed my mind with her.”

Janis relaxes slightly as Cady seems to take her advice to heart. “I remembered reading about it in the books, so I Googled it. Swaddling her seems to have helped the most, she actually calmed down enough to eat.”

“Wow,” Cady says quietly. “You read baby books?”

“I want to help you,” Janis replies sheepishly. “I did some research.”

“You’re so sweet,” Cady says with a quiet sniffle as she takes her little one back. “Hi, munchkin. There’s my sweet girl. Oh, and you’re in your little costume! My little cub, look at you!”

“What is it with this outfit and making you cry?” Janis jokes gently. She smiles seeing the contentment and peace on Cady’s face as she looks down at her daughter curled up in her arms. Maya still spends a lot of time huddled up, not totally used to being free from the womb yet. Janis thinks it makes her look like a little peanut. Which is rather fitting, given Janis’ favorite nickname for Cady.

“I’m still hormonal, shut up,” Cady defends with a noise that sounds like a laugh and a sob at the same time. “Popped a whole human out of me a couple weeks ago, that takes time to recover from.”

“I’m not judging,” Janis chuckles back. “I got us some discount candy, by the way. Figured we could have our own little Halloween party.”

“Oh my god, yes please,” Cady says in relief. “Gimme all the sugar.”

“After dinner,” Janis says, booping Cady’s nose as she passes by to go heat up their meals.

“Yes mom,” Cady jokes back. Janis freezes, but relaxes herself before Cady can pick up on anything.

-

“Come cuddle us,” Cady coaxes once Janis has finished with the dishes and Maya has finished her own dinner. “Let’s watch Halloween movies and eat all this candy.”

“Horror movies?” Janis asks eagerly.

“Halloween movies,” Cady corrects. “There’s a difference.”

“Fine,” Janis pouts. “You can’t use the baby card forever, though.”

“Yes I can,” Cady says happily. Janis pops Halloweentown into the DVD player and cuddles up with the two of them on the sofa.

“I think once she’s, like, three, we can start her on the weak ones,” she says, looking at Maya’s sleeping face. “Children of the Corn and stuff. The fakey ones.”

“Absolutely not,” Cady insists, protectively holding her little cub closer.

“I’m kidding, oh my god,” Janis groans. “No horror movies until Mama says so.”

“Thank you.”

Janis just chuckles and nods, smiling but tensing slightly as Cady rests her head on her shoulder to watch the movie. Janis covers both of their laps with a blanket and rests a pillow between them for Maya to snooze on.

-

“Can I ask something?” Janis asks quietly about halfway through the movie. Cady nods, noticing she’s looking at Maya. “Why did you name her Maya?”

“Maua is Swahili for flower,” Cady replies softly, taking Maya’s hood off and stroking a gentle hand over her small head. “But that’s a little on the nose, and tricky to pronounce. So I went with Maya. Flowers remind me of spring, starting over. And she’s my new start. New beginning, new life. My little flower.”

“That’s beautiful,” Janis murmurs. “It suits her.”

“Thank you,” Cady whispers. Janis knows she doesn’t just mean for that.

“Of course.”

—————

“Janis? Do you have-“ Cady calls from her room one day when she wakes up from a nap. Janis turns to see her when she heads to the living room, showing off Maya in her sling stuck to her chest while Janis works on a painting. “Maya.”

“Why are you crying?”

“You’re just so sweet, look at you,” Cady sobs. “Just painting away with the baby tied to you.”

“I heard her start fussing, I didn’t want her to wake you up,” Janis shrugs sheepishly. “Here.”

Cady takes her baby back as Janis scoops her out of her little cocoon and carefully hands her over. Maya burbles happily when she looks up to see her mama. Cady smiles back and wipes her eyes with her free hand. “Hi, baby. Did you help your auntie with her masterpiece?”

Maya gives a coo and reaches out to touch Cady’s face. Cady gently takes a small hand and kisses it.

“She’s been very helpful,” Janis agrees.

“Good,” Cady says. “Glad she wasn’t too much.”

“She never is,” Janis says quietly. “She’s you. I can handle her.”

Cady grins gently at that. “You think you can handle two of us?”

Happily, Janis thinks. Instead she jokes, “It’s a challenge, but I can do it.”

Cady rolls her eyes, but laughs. “You’re such a goof. Do you have time for a break?”

“Yeah,” Janis says. “Could use one anyway, my back is starting to hurt.”

“You should get an easel you can use sitting down,” Cady says in concern. “Standing that much can’t be good for your spine.”

“My spine is fine,” Janis groans affectionately. She comes and plops down next to them, carefully taking the baby and propping her up against her legs so they can see each other. “Huh, Maya? Mama worries too much.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding. I’ll look into one,” Janis says. She looks back at the little one still staring at her. “She’s getting so big.”

“She’s three months old today,” Cady agrees quietly.

“Damn,” Janis breathes. “She’s so sweet. Huh, My? You’re the sweetest little munchkin ever!” Maya beams at her, showing off her toothless smile. “Yeah.” Cady and Janis both smile back. Janis tips her head back so Maya can’t see her face, then pops it back down to surprise her. “Boo.”

Maya smiles again and gives a happy little squeal. Janis smiles back and does it again, and this time a little “Hee!” can be heard. Janis furrows her brow and does it one more time.

“She’s laughing,” she says in awe. She does it one more time to prove it. Maya’s giggles are undeniable this time.

“Oh my god,” Cady whispers around a sob. “She’s laughing at you! Do it again, see if she keeps going.”

Janis does, and earns herself yet more giggles. “Are you laughing at me, Emmy? That’s a bit rude!”

Cady continues weeping softly into her hand, delighting in the joyful sound of her baby’s laugh. “Can I try?”

“Of course,” Janis chuckles. “She’s your kid.”

Cady carefully takes her baby and covers her face with her hands. Maya whimpers when her mama disappears in front of her, but gives another squeal and round of happy laughter when she comes back. “Oh, my big girl! You have the most beautiful giggles.”

“Her whole belly moves,” Janis says affectionately. “And her laugh sounds like yours.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah,” Janis says softly. “Boo!”

Maya continues giggling at the both of them, and giggles harder as Cady brings her up closer to kiss all over her tiny face. “Oh, my little cub, I love your giggles. Makes me feel like I’m doing okay at this whole thing.”

“You are,” Janis says quietly. “You’re doing more than okay. Look how much this little peanut loves you.”

Cady looks at Janis for a second before leaning her head on her shoulder. “Thank you. You’re not doing half bad either, you know. She loves you too.”

We both do.

————-

“Morning,” Janis greets as she heads into the living room to find Maya lying on her tummy on the floor while Cady gets some work done next to her. Cady looks up and smiles.

“Morning. I made you coffee,” she replies.

“Oh my god, thank you,” Janis groans around a yawn. She pours herself the only mug of fresh coffee left and adds her usual sugar and dash of milk. Once that’s handled, she comes and lies down next to the baby. Maya smiles when she sees her auntie’s face pop into her view. “Good morning, Emmy! You’re getting so strong, holding up that heavy head all by yourself!”

Maya burbles happily at her, and Janis smiles back. Cady grins at the interactions between both of them. “You can pick her up if you want, she needs a break.”

Janis does, making a sort of hoop with her legs and sitting Maya down in the middle. “There we go, hi!” Maya looks at her curiously. “You’re getting steadier, can you sit all by yourself?”

Janis lets go of Maya’s little torso but keeps her hands close in case she tips over. Maya leans to the side a little bit, but one gentle nudge back to where she needs to be keeps her in place.

“Yeah, look at you!” Janis cheers. Cady looks up at them again and comes to join them this time.

“My big girl, look at you go, munchkin!”

Maya giggles at all the praise and gives a happy gurgle. Cady leans in and kisses her chubby cheek, inadvertently tipping her over.

“Whoa! Careful,” Cady chuckles. “Still a little topsy turvy. Oh, I’m so proud of you!”

Janis takes Maya and holds her up like an airplane, earning herself more delighted giggles. Maya reaches to grab her nose once she’s back at Janis’ eye level.

“Man, you have a strong grip, little one,” Janis winces as she gently pries the small hand off and away from her face. Cady leans in to sneak one more kiss from her daughter.

“Can you watch her for a sec? I wanna go get her picture stuff,” she asks, already moving to stand up. Damian had bought her little wooden plaques that list all the major milestones and ages for the first few years, and Cady has followed them religiously.

“Of course,” Janis says. “Huh, My? Auntie Jayjay can handle you for a second. Mwah.” Maya giggles as she blows raspberries on her cheeks.

Cady runs to her room and returns with the ‘I can sit by myself!’ plaque. Janis helps position the baby so she’s upright and runs to stand behind Cady. She does goofy dances and shakes Maya’s toys around to get her to smile and look at the camera while Cady gets her pictures.

Maya does her best cheesy giggles at Janis’ antics, making for some absolutely adorable pictures. Eventually she gets bored and decides to taste her little sign, which provides an opportunity for yet more photos.

“Good job, Emmy!” Cady cheers when she’s satisfied with the quantity of good pictures. Janis picks Maya back up and kisses her nose a few times.

“You’re getting so big! We’re so proud of you!”

Cady smiles seeing her best friend interacting with her child. She’s been having a strange fluttering feeling in her chest whenever she sees it, lately. She’s not sure what it could mean. She decides to ignore it for the time being and heads over to kiss both of their cheeks. Janis squeaks quietly and blushes.

“You’re so good with her,” Cady murmurs quietly. “Who would’ve thought that the great Janis Sarkisian is such a natural with babies?”

“I’m great?”

“I sure think so,” Cady laughs. “I think she does too. Huh, Emmy? You love Jayjay?”

Maya has a staredown with Janis, and Janis stares back. Maya has a very serious look on her face, seeming to be assessing Janis up close. After a few seconds, she apparently deems her trustworthy and cuddles into her shoulder like normal.

“Aww, yeah,” Cady coos. Janis is nearly in tears at the rather aggressive baby snuggles she’s on the receiving end of and kisses some little red curls. “It’s official, she’s chosen you. You’ve been knighted by Queen Maya.”

“I’m honored,” Janis chuckles. “Why does she smell so good?”

“Baby pheromones,” Cady shrugs. “Or something, I dunno. Well, looks like I’m making breakfast this morning. You two enjoy your little love fest.”

“I definitely will.”

————

“Whoa!” Janis yelps when she feels something crash into her legs while she paints. She looks down expecting to find the cat, but instead sees Maya, sitting at her feet and beaming up at her. “M&M, how did-did you crawl over here?”

Janis bends down to pick her up and goes to find Cady. She’s in her bedroom cleaning up after Maya’s bath.

“Did you lose this?”

Cady whirls around to find Janis holding up her child, and her brow furrows in confusion. “How did you get- oh no.”

“I think we have some more baby proofing to do,” Janis chuckles. “She’s on the move.”

“Finally!” Cady chuckles. “Was starting to think I was gonna have to carry this little peanut everywhere!”

Maya kicks her little legs in delight and happily starts telling her mama about her adventures to find her auntie. Cady takes her with a giggle and holds her again.

“Really? Did you sneak away from Mama?” she asks. Maya giggles in response. “Yeah? Why didn’t you tell me you can crawl, hm?”

“Let’s test,” Janis says. Cady sits against one wall of her room and sets the baby down. Janis sits at the other and reaches out. “Come here, Monkey!”

Maya giggles again and starts moving over. It’s more of a wiggle than a crawl, as she sort of inchworms her way across the room to Janis. Regardless, she’s definitely mobile.

“Oh my goodness, Emmy! You’re pretty fast!” Cady laughs. “Good stamina. Probably got that from your daddy’s side.”

Janis looks at Cady when she says that. It’s the first time she’s so much as mentioned Aaron in the nine months since Maya’s birth. Janis can see a glint of something melancholy in Cady’s normally bright blue eyes, but Cady moves on before she can check on it.

“That was, like, thirty seconds! She wouldn’t even crawl yesterday!”

Janis grabs the baby when she gets close again and holds her up. “We could put you in baby races. You got some serious speed there, Mymy. Can you go get Mama again?”

Maya crows happily and starts pulling herself back over to Cady. Cady grins back and reaches out to beckon her over. “Come here, sweet girl! You can do it! Come to Mama.” Maya’s a bit slower this time, but determined to make it. Cady scoops her up when she does and holds her up triumphantly. “My big girl! I’m so proud of you! Gimme kisses.”

Maya giggles happily as she gets loving kisses everywhere Cady can reach. Janis stays against the wall and smiles watching the two of them together. She’s glad Cady is smiling and laughing again. She deserves happiness.

“Why is Auntie Jayjay so far away? Tell her to come over here,” Cady says after a beat. Janis rolls her eyes affectionately and also crawls over to join them.

“Here I am.”

They stay like that until Maya has to go to sleep, just cuddling on the ground and talking about nothing. Maya even chimes in from time to time. Janis can sense this is a memory she’ll hold for a very long time.

—————-

“There’s Auntie Jayjay!” Cady cheers when Janis gets home with groceries one afternoon. Janis drops her bags at her feet and heads over to greet her and Maya. The baby looks up happily and points at her.

“Hi!” Janis says, kissing Maya’s cheek. She whispers, “I got you some cookies, don’t tell Mama.”

“Janis,” Cady laughs. “You spoil her too much.”

“She’s my niece, I’m allowed to!” Janis defends. “Auntie privileges. Right, Emmy?”

Maya giggles at her. Janis nods. “Yeah.”

Maya points at her again. But this time she babbles a, “Jaaaayjay.”

“What?” Janis asks in shock. “Yeah! I’m Jayjay! Say it again, who am I?”

“Jayjay,” Maya repeats happily. It sounds a bit more like ‘Dayday’, but the effort is there. “Jayjay.”

“Yeah! Oh my gosh, munchkin!” Cady says happily. “Look at you talking! What about me, who am I?”

“Mamamama,” Maya babbles. Cady sighs.

“Mama. Just two,” she coaxes. “Maaaaama.”

“Jayjay,” Maya says again, reaching for her auntie. Janis laughs and takes her.

“Maya, be nice to your mama! You can do it,” she says. “That’s Mama.”

“Mama?”

“Come on, man!” Cady laughs. “You’ll only talk for Janis? Say Mama.”

“Mamama,” Maya says.

“Say Mama,” Janis says to test the theory.

“Maaama,” Maya says, reaching back out for Cady.

“You’re so weird,” Cady teases lovingly. “My little squish. Mama.”

“Mamamama.”

“Who’s that?”

“Jayjay!”

“And who am I?”

“Mamama.”

“Emmy, who’s this?” Janis asks.

“Mama,” Maya babbles.

“You little stinker!” Cady laughs. “Guess I know who your favorite is. Goofy.”

“Little comedian,” Janis chuckles. “C’mere, Mymy, you wanna help me put stuff away?”

“Jayjay,” Maya bleats happily. Cady passes her over for a little hangout and heads to get a bit of work done in the meantime.

“No cookies before dinner!”

“Okay!” Janis calls back. She checks to make sure she’s out of earshot before she presses her forehead against Maya’s. “I think we can get away with one cookie. But don’t tell or we’ll both be in trouble.”

She can tell by the look in Maya’s eyes that their secret is safe.

————-

A week later, Cady goes out for the day to buy birthday presents for Janis and Maya. Janis isn’t allowed to come, and elects to keep Maya with her so Cady can have a peaceful trip.

Janis sketches on the ground while Maya sits next to her playing with some toys. Suddenly, Picasso makes an appearance and starts sniffing curiously at the little one. They’ve tried to distance the two while Maya is still so little for safety reasons, so this is the first she’s seen of Picasso so close up.

She gives a frightened whimper at the strange creature and looks up at Janis. “Oh no, it’s okay! That’s the kitty! That’s Picasso.”

Janis holds the baby in her lap and reaches out to pet Picasso’s little head. Maya seems much more comfortable being held while the cat sniffs at her toes.

“See? Just the kitty, you’re okay. I got you, I promise. Soso won’t hurt you.”

Maya looks curiously between Janis and Picasso, but apparently elects to stay with her auntie, since she makes no effort to get off her lap. Instead, she yawns and slumps down a little bit.

“You sleepy, Emmy? It is naptime,” Janis chuckles. “I’m kinda tired too. Hm.”

Janis picks them up off the ground and shifts to the couch. Maya could still fall off in her sleep if Janis drifts off too, so Janis tucks her into her oversized jacket for safety. Maya grins up at her with her three whole teeth and rests her sweet little head on Janis’ chest. She’s asleep almost immediately, lulled by the rhythm of her heartbeat. Janis smiles back and gently drums on her back to help her drift off.

Janis gently strokes a finger over the baby’s chubby cheek and tips her head up to kiss the soft red curls. “You have no idea what you mean to me, little one.”

She pulls out her phone and snaps a few cute pictures of Maya all bundled inside her jacket and decides to send one to Damian.

janjan: Sent a picture: i’m pregnant

damdam: AHEJSJJSKSKSISI

damdam: Oh. Dammit, Janis, we already had one surprise pregnancy. I can only handle one every three to five years

janjan: lmao noted

damdam: She’s so cute

janjan: she looks like caddy

damdam: So u think Caddy’s cute ???

janjan: shut the hell ur mouth

damdam: That’s not a no 👀👀👀

janjan: not a yes either

damdam: When are you gonna tell her Jan

janjan: never

janjan: wait shit

damdam: Caught in 4k

janjan: i mean uh

janjan: tell her what idk what ur talking about

damdam: Sometimes I want to hit you with a heavy rock

damdam: She likes you back Janjan

janjan: no, she doesn’t

damdam: Oh shit a comma u mean business

damdam: But,,,,,,,,,,, so do I

janjan: she does not like me back

damdam: YOURE LITERALLY RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER

janjan: AS FRIENDS

damdam: I’m hunting for rocks rn

janjan: dame really

janjan: i’m just here to help her with emmy until she finds someone better

damdam: Is she looking ??

janjan: …

janjan: she’s been through a lot lately, she deserves some time for herself. and she has to find someone she trusts to be with maya

damdam: Janis

damdam: I cannot with you

janjan: ???

damdam: Where is Caddy rn

janjan: shopping

damdam: So she left you

damdam: Alone

damdam: With Maya

janjan: yeah ???

damdam: I’m outside with a rock rn I’m actually gonna do it istg

damdam: SHE TRUSTS YOU WITH MAYA

damdam: Who did she go to for help when she found out she was pregnant

damdam: WHO DID SHE ASK TO BE THERE WHEN SHE PUSHED A BABY OUT OF HER UNMENTIONABLES

janjan: a friend

damdam: I literally-

damdam: She’s been in love with you for a long time, Jan

damdam: She trusts you more than anyone, especially with Maya

damdam: One of you is gonna have to fess up eventually.

janjan: i can’t lose them dame

janjan: she’d never look at me the same if she knew. she’d leave and never look back.

damdam: Or

janjan: damian i can’t

janjan: i’ll admit i’m in love with her and that i love maya like she’s mine but they can’t know that

damdam: Okay, Jan. I’m not gonna do anything. But you really should tell her.

janjan: thanks

damdam: I love you

janjan: i love you too

damdam: Tell Maya I say hi

janjan: lol i will when she wakes up

Janis clicks off her phone and sighs heavily, cuddling Maya a little closer. There’s no way Cady likes me back.

Is there?

—-

“I’m home!” Cady calls as she enters the door with her bags of birthday treats. She frowns in confusion when she doesn’t hear anything back. “Hello?”

She heads to the kitchen to put the food away first, then to the bedroom to hide the rest of the presents. She stops in her tracks when she finds the scene in the living room.

Janis is on her back on the couch, her long half-blonde hair cascading down over the arm she has her head resting on. She’s deeply asleep, with both hands resting protectively over a suspiciously baby-shaped lump in her jacket. Cady tiptoes closer and gently shifts the jacket, peeking in to find her daughter snoozing away as she’s held close and safe.

“Aww,” Cady coos softly. She quickly rushes to hide the presents in her closet and then comes back to sneak some pictures.

Janis wakes up about halfway through the impromptu photo shoot and looks at her. Cady only notices when she sees Janis raise an eyebrow at the camera and quickly hides her phone behind her back.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Janis whispers.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Napping,” Janis yawns. She carefully pulls the jacket up to peek at Maya and finds her awake and smiling at her. “Or not. Good morning, Emmy! Look who’s home.”

“Mama,” Maya yawns. “Mama.”

“Yeah, Mama’s home,” Janis says happily. Cady heads closer and pulls the jacket away.

“Boo!” she says gently. Maya squeals in surprise, but giggles. “Hi, little love! Did you have fun with Jayjay?”

Maya nods happily while she stretches, but just cuddles back in once she’s handled that. Janis laughs and drums on her back a couple times. “You just gonna hang out there?” Maya nods again. “Okay. I’m not complaining.”

“You two are cute. Was she okay?” Cady chuckles as Janis tries to sit up with Maya still huddled up inside her jacket.

“Yeah, she was fine. We napped most of the time you were out,” Janis hums. “Picasso came and sniffed at her and scared her a bit, but that was about it.”

“Aww,” Cady laughs. “I guess it would be a little scary to have something you’ve never seen before that close to you. They are about the same size.”

“They are,” Janis agrees with a chuckle. “Did you have fun?”

“I did,” Cady says, sitting next to them and resting her head on Janis’ shoulder and peeking down at her child in her little pouch. “I missed you guys though.”

“We missed you too.”

—————-

“Oh god!” Cady yelps quietly when she heads to the living room in the middle of the night and finds Janis there in the dark. “What are you doing?”

Janis grins sheepishly as Cady flicks the light on and reveals her surrounded by multicolored balloons. Cady can barely see the floor. “It’s her birthday, she needs balloons!”

“Janis,” Cady chuckles. “She’s only a year old, this is a little excessive.”

“She deserves it,” Janis shrugs. She finishes blowing up the one she’s been working on and ties it around her fingers. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Cady sighs. She’s not, she’s obviously been crying. Janis raises an eyebrow, and Cady crumbles. “No.”

“I figured. What’s on your mind?”

Cady sniffles quietly and comes to sit next to her. Janis pulls her in and lets Cady rest her head on her shoulder.

“I’ve been thinking about Aaron,” Cady mumbles, barely audible. “I’ve been so focused on Maya since she was born that I haven’t had much… brain power to spare for him, I guess. But now that she’s a little older…”

Janis just hums sadly. She squeezes Cady gently as she feels warm tears start soaking into her pajama top.

“I just… it’s hard not to feel guilty, you know?” Cady chokes. “My baby doesn’t know her father because… I wasn’t good enough for him.”

“No, she doesn’t know her father because her father is a walking bag of ass and doesn’t know what he gave up,” Janis corrects. “His stupid decisions have nothing to do with either of you. And it doesn’t make you any less worthy of love. Either of you.”

“Thank you,” Cady whispers. “I know this is stupid.”

“No, it’s not. You’ve been through a lot over the last year. And even longer, the whole pregnancy and everything happening was so rough on you too,” Janis comforts.

“I just… I know he’s not… who I thought he was,” Cady continues. “But who I thought he was would’ve been such a good dad. I see-I see so much of him in her. I wish-I wish that I’d been… no, I wish he had made better-better decisions. As much as I hate him, I want… I want him to see her. Know her. See what a precious little thing she is. My baby deserves that.”

“She does,” Janis agrees. “But she deserves love more. You’re right, Aaron isn’t who you thought he was. It’s absolutely okay to mourn the life you thought you’d have. But you should know that what you’re giving Maya now is better.

“She has a mama who loves her so deeply, with her whole heart, and she has a mama who’s growing with her and finding her happiness. She has a mama who’s learning how to be whole again. If you somehow worked out a way to stay with him, Maya would be living with a father who never wanted her and a mother trying desperately to stop her life falling apart. But she has this version of you instead, and you’re giving her the best life you possibly can. You’re kicking ass without him, Peanut. The love you have for her and the love she has for you is more than enough to make up for his dumb ass causing a deficit.”

Cady is quiet for a long moment as she carefully considers each and every word she’s just been told. Janis just holds her for a few minutes until she bursts into tears again, and then holds her closer. It’s remarkably similar to the night they first found out about Maya.

But it’s also different. With every heaving sob Janis can feel a few of the chains of Cady’s burdens clinking off and away. She’s mourning the life she thought she knew and learning to embrace what she now has at the same time. And Janis is here to support and hold her through everything.

“Thank you so much,” Cady chokes when she finally calms down a little. “For everything. Everything you’ve ever done for us. I’m so glad Maya has you. That I have you.”

“You always will,” Janis replies quietly. “Both of you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Cady nods and sniffles, pulling back slightly to wipe off her nose and eyes. She winces when she sees what she’s done to Janis’ shirt. “Sorry. I’ll wash that for you.”

“There’s a baby living here, my shirts have been through worse,” Janis chuckles. Cady giggles back and looks around for a clock. It’s now about one in the morning. She seems to have cried for a bit longer than either of them thought.

“Happy birthday,” Cady whispers. “Do you have a wish yet?”

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” Janis replies. She’s had the same wish for years. But Cady doesn’t feel the same.

“I’m the birthday fairy, I’m allowed to grant one wish every year,” Cady declares, crossing her arms. The shaky sniffle kind of ruins the immersion, but Janis just grins.

“Fine, one wish… I want… a sleepover with Maya,” Janis says. “Birthday snuggles all night.”

“Okay,” Cady laughs. “I can do that. She’s kind of a wiggly sleeper, though, are you sure?”

“Yes. She gives the best cuddles,” Janis says immediately.

“What about mine?” Cady pouts, already about halfway to the door she shares with Maya.

“Fine, she gives the second best cuddles,” Janis chuckles quietly. Cady grins happily and disappears into her room. Janis kicks her way over through the sea of balloons.

“Here you go,” Cady whispers, carefully passing over the sleeping babe. Maya is carefully wrapped in her blankie and equipped with her pacifier and teddy bear. All the supplies needed for an awesome impromptu sleepover.

“Thank you,” Janis whispers back. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Cady murmurs back with a small smile. She carefully kisses Maya’s forehead before turning to head back to bed. Janis carries the baby to her own bedroom and gets her all cozy in the center of the bed before sliding in next to her to cuddle. Maya scrunches up her little nose when Janis kisses it gently, making Janis smile. It grows when the baby instinctively wriggles her way into her embrace and nuzzles into her chest. Janis holds her close and drifts off to sleep like that.

A great start to a great birthday. She has a feeling the next one might be even better.

————-

“Janis?” Cady asks gently one night, knocking on the frame of Janis’ door while she’s getting ready for bed.

“What’s up, Peanut?” Janis replies. She sees the look on Cady’s face and her smile falls. “Everything okay?”

“Uhm… I don’t know,” Cady says quietly.

“What’s the matter?”

“One of my professors is making me come back in person,” Cady says. “He says he can’t make allowances for me anymore now that Maya’s older. And I can’t bring her.”

“The fuck? Who does this guy think he is?” Janis demands. “She’s barely a year old!”

“I know,” Cady says sheepishly. “I tried everything, but I have to go back or fail, and I really can’t afford to be bumped back any more. I took so much time off when I was recovering.”

“Because you had a baby,” Janis says. “And it did a lot to you.”

“Yeah.” Cady sighs. Janis beckons her over, so she comes to rest against her shoulder. “They have a daycare center on campus, but I don’t… trust them with her yet. She’s still so little, I don’t-“

“I can watch her,” Janis says. “I work from home, it’s not like I have anywhere to be.”

“Are you sure?” Cady asks. It had been what she was going to ask, and she’s glad Janis has volunteered, but she still doesn’t want to impose. “I know you love her, but she’s a lot sometimes.”

“She’s a baby, babies are always a lot,” Janis chuckles. “She’s such a little nugget, of course I’m sure.”

“Thank you,” Cady says gratefully. “I don’t start until next week, and it’s just the one class for now, but I-“

“Caddy,” Janis says, grabbing her shoulders. “Breathe. I’m glad you’re getting some more time for you again, even if it is just a class. Maya and I will be fine, we got this.”

Cady nods and leans back in for a hug. “Thank you. She’ll be happy to get more time with you.”

“Of course,” Janis says softly. “I’m happy to get more with her.”

—-

Cady very anxiously leaves them the next week just after Maya gets put down for her morning nap. Janis has to practically force her out the door so she isn’t late to her class.

Janis has a bit of time to attend to herself while Maya rests, so she gives Picasso some much needed attention and does a bit of cleaning. She’s almost bored without Maya to keep her company, and her smile is wider than ever when she hears Maya wake up and start talking to herself.

“Good morning, Maya monkey,” Janis coos, heading in to get the baby up. “Did you have a nice nap?” Maya nods. “Good.”

Maya babbles about her dreams while Janis gets her changed and carries her into the kitchen for lunch. Janis buckles her into her high chair for safety, then heats up one of her mushy baby stews to feed her and grabs a silicone spoon.

“What do we think of this, M&M?” Janis asks as Maya chews her spoonful. “Got lots of veggies in here. Maybe you’ll actually grow past five feet if you eat enough. Beat your mama.”

“Mama?” Maya asks, looking around for Cady.

“She’ll be home soon,” Janis comforts. “I miss her too. But you get to hang out with me all day!”

Maya smiles at that, opening her mouth to accept another spoonful of lunch. Janis chuckles as her little tongue pokes out briefly while she chews.

Janis and Maya chat as they have lunch, until Maya decides she’s done. Janis goes to wash their dishes before everything dries on and becomes harder to clean off. Maya is displeased with this.

“Mommy,” she whimpers sadly. Janis whirls around to see her.

“What?”

“Mommy,” Maya repeats, straining against her buckles and pouting. Janis furrows her brow and goes to pick her up. Cady is usually ‘Mama’, but…

“Mommy’s at school, honeybun,” she says. “I’m your auntie.”

Maya shakes her head and cuddles in. “Mommy.”

Oh boy.

-

Janis doesn’t quite know what to do about this. She’s tried explaining the situation to Maya, but the barely one-year-old just doesn’t seem to put the pieces together. So Janis cuts her losses and straps Maya to her chest to work on a painting together.

Cady comes home an hour or so later, calling a “Hey!” as she kicks off her shoes and comes to find them.

“Mama!” Maya squeaks happily from her little pouch. Cady smiles and comes to pick her out of it when her baby reaches for her. Janis undoes the carrier the rest of the way and casts it aside.

“Hi, my little cub! Did you have a good day?” Cady asks, kissing Maya’s chunky little cheek. Maya nods happily and rests her head on her shoulder. “Good. Jay, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Janis says, her scarlet blush and squeaky voice betraying her. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. What’s up?” Cady insists, bouncing Maya on her hip slightly.

“Don’t be mad,” Janis pleads. Cady raises a suspicious eyebrow. “Uhm… MayacalledmeMommy.”

“What?”

“Maya called me Mommy,” Janis repeats quietly. “I tried to tell her you were at school, but… I don’t know how babies work yet, I couldn’t-“

“Janis, hey,” Cady hushes. “I’m not mad. Come here.” Janis warily tucks her brush behind her ear and approaches them. “Flower, who am I?”

“Mama!”

“Yeah, that’s right!” Cady says. She points to the cat. “And who’s that?”

“Soso,” Maya says, nibbling gently on one of her little fingers.

“Uhhuh, my clever girl,” Cady coos. She gently pokes Maya’s belly. “And who’s this?”

“Maaaaya!”

“Yeah, that’s my Maya,” Cady grins. She points to Janis. “Who is that?”

“Mommy.”

“Yeah! You’re so smart,” Cady says, kissing Maya’s hair. Janis looks between them in shock. “I’ve been teaching her that. I did it on purpose, I promise I’m not mad.”

“You… but…” Janis stutters. Maya reaches out for her, so Janis hesitantly takes her. “Hi, kid.”

“Hi Mommy,” Maya replies. Janis sniffles and blinks away tears. “Luff Mommy.”

“I love you too, Emmy,” Janis murmurs. Maya wraps her tiny arms around her neck and plants a wet kiss on her chin. Janis laughs at the ticklish sensation and kisses Maya’s forehead.

“Luff Mama?”

“You love Mama too?” Janis asks, holding up a hand and smiling as a chubby fist grips her thumb. But Maya shakes her head. “No?”

“Mommy luff Mama?” Maya asks. Janis tenses and flushes bright red. She can faintly hear Cady let out a flustered squeak from next to them. Maya isn’t satisfied with the lack of response and pats her little hands against Janis’ cheeks. “Mommy? Luff Mama?”

“Yeah, M. I love Mama,” Janis replies quietly. “I love Mama a whole lot. I always have.”

Maya nods triumphantly and turns to Cady, who’s now frozen in place with wide eyes and her jaw slightly dropped. “Mama? Luff Mommy?”

“Yeah, pumpkin. I love Mommy,” Cady says, sniffling quietly and trying to recover from the emotions of the last few seconds. “I have for a long time.”

“Now kisses!” Maya says happily, pressing her tiny hands together and grinning at them with her handful of little teeth. Cady slowly bridges the gap between them and looks up at Janis.

“We mean this the same way?” Janis whispers before they do anything. Cady cups her jaw and pulls her down for a sweet kiss.

“I mean it that way,” she murmurs, flicking her blue eyes up to meet brown.

“Same,” Janis says, pressing in again. She remembers they have company when Maya gives a delighted little squeal. “You little matchmaker! You’re the cutest couples therapist there ever was!”

Maya chortles happily as Janis spins her around and kisses all over her face. Once they stop moving, she yawns widely and plops her head against Janis’ shoulder.

“You sleepy, Flower?” Janis murmurs. “I think it’s nap time.” Maya nods and rubs her eyes with a chubby knuckle.

“Ninight.”

“Night night,” Janis hums, kissing her red curls one more time before handing her to Cady. Cady gives her a goodnight kiss and cuddle before passing her back to Janis to put down for her afternoon nap.

-

Cady gets slightly concerned when Janis doesn’t return. Maya doesn’t usually take very long to put down. She heads into her room to find Janis standing over her crib and staring down at the sleeping child. Cady watches from the doorframe until she hears Janis sniffle and watches a tear drip down her nose.

“Jay, what’s the matter?” she asks sadly, making her way over and wrapping an arm around Janis’ waist.

“Why did you teach her that?” Janis murmurs shakily.

“To call you Mommy?” Cady asks. Janis nods. “Because you are.”

“But I’m-I’m not,” Janis says.

“She doesn’t know that. Look at it from her perspective,” Cady murmurs, stroking a stray curl away from her sleeping daughter’s face. “She doesn’t know about genetics. She doesn’t care about DNA, or blood. She cares about love. All she knows is that she has two people who take care of her, and protect her, and love her the same way.”

“But…”

“Janis,” Cady insists. She cups Janis’ cheeks in her warm hands, staring kindly into watery brown eyes. “My child will probably never know the man who gave her life. He doesn’t care about her enough to meet her, or to get to know her. To love her. And that-“ she pauses to clear her throat as her own tears start flowing. “That breaks my heart, that my little angel won’t know her daddy. That’s always gonna hurt. But she has you. You’ve been here for her since before she even came into this world. She has two parents.”

“But Caddy,” Janis pleads.

“Janis Olivia Sarkisian, look at me,” Cady demands, growing slightly upset now. Janis pouts a little but listens. “Do you take care of her? Protect her? Care for her?”

“Yeah, but-“

“And do you love her?” Cady asks. “Janis. You look at that baby and tell me you don’t love her like your own.”

“I do,” Janis whispers shakily, looking down at the little one holding her teddy bear and sucking periodically on her binkie. “I love her more than anything. She’s… she’s you.”

“Then how are you not her mother?” Cady pleads. “Just because she doesn’t have your genes? Are adoptive and step and foster parents not parents? Same sex couples who had to do surrogacy? Trans couples who had to do artificial insemination? Infertile people who had to use a sperm donor? Family is more than blood, Janis. Family is love. And you love her. That’s all that matters to her, and to me. You’re her family. My little love has two mothers who love her to the moon and back seven times over. She has the most wonderful family I could have ever dreamed for her.”

Janis just lets out a strangled noise at that, sinking into Cady and muffling sobs against her shoulder. Cady gently leads her to the couch to leave their daughter a quiet space to nap.

“I’m not asking you to be a replacement for what she doesn’t have,” Cady murmurs, holding Janis against her and rocking her the same way she rocks Maya. “I’m asking you to be you. Be what she already has. Just with a new title. I think it’s a nice promotion.”

Janis nods slightly against her and clears her throat. “I love you. Both of you. But she’s asleep, so… I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cady says with a hint of a chuckle. “I love you so much. And I have for so long.”

Janis doesn’t answer that, she just props herself up and tips Cady back slightly. Cady willingly falls to the couch cushions, her auburn curls fanning out around her. Janis sniffles and wipes her eyes before leaning in. “Can I kiss you?”

“Always,” Cady replies quietly. Janis leans down the rest of the way and gently presses their lips together. Cady strokes some hair away from the side of Janis’ face and leaves her hand there, tilting her head slightly to the side for a better angle. Kissing Janis feels more right than kissing Aaron ever did. It feels like she’s finally home.

Janis purrs slightly when Cady flicks her tongue against her lips, gently parting them and brushing their tongues together. Cady gasps and groans quietly when Janis carefully nibbles on her lip.

“I love you,” Janis whispers when they regretfully have to break apart to breathe. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For giving me this. For loving me,” Janis says. “Trusting me with your child. Giving me a family.”

“Of course,” Cady replies. “Thank you for loving us. Making us a family.”

“Speaking of,” Janis sighs when Maya starts calling for them. “Babies are real cockblockers sometimes.”

“That they are,” Cady laughs. “I’ll go get her.”

“Okay,” Janis says, rolling off of Cady and sitting upright. She smiles as she listens to Cady with their baby as Maya continues waking up.

“Hi Mommy!” Maya says excitedly when Cady carries her back to the living room. Janis smiles this time and reaches for her.

Cady sets Maya down to make her way over herself, so she sets off. Janis scoops her up once she crashes into her legs on shaky feet and rests her on her lap. “Hi baby. Did you have a nice nap?”

“Nap,” Maya confirms with a nod. Janis nods back.

“Good. Do you know something very important?”

Maya tilts her head in confusion. Her thinking face is exactly the same as Cady’s, a furrowed brow and bottom lip just barely poked out. “‘Po’tant?”

“Very important,” Janis confirms. “Do you know… how much I love you?” Maya shakes her head, continuing to look at her curiously. Janis makes sure she’s steady on her lap and holds her arms out as far as they can go. “Thiiiiis much.”

“Wow,” Maya says in awe. Janis laughs and holds her again.

“How much do you love me?”

Maya holds her own arms out. “Dis.”

“Wow,” Janis chuckles. “How much?”

Maya does it again. “Dis much.”

“How much?”

Maya does it one more time, but this time Janis sticks her fingers into her little armpits and tickles her. Maya shrieks in surprise but quickly starts laughing her sweet laugh and squirming around in Janis’ lap. Janis picks her up and kisses just under her jawline, earning herself more squeals and giggles.

“What is going on out here?” Cady chuckles when she returns from making Maya’s bed. “Goodness. My two crazies.”

Maya continues laughing and shakily reaches out a hand for her mama to save her. Cady snatches her up and tosses her in the air a few times. “Is Mommy getting you?”

Maya nods, her chubby cheeks flushed and hair even more disheveled than it was a second ago. Cady chuckles and runs a careful hand through it.

“My sweet girl,” she says quietly, kissing a chubby cheek a few times. Janis quietly approaches and presses in on the other side. Maya giggles happily as her moms both kiss a cheek, squishing her lips out into a fish face. “Mmmmmmmwah!”

“‘Gain,” Maya laughs, so they squish in again. She tries to talk around it this time. “L’ff you.”

“We love you too,” Janis says.

“Sooooo much.”

—————

“Flower, what movie should we watch?” Cady asks, settling in next to Janis and trading Maya for a bowl of popcorn.

“Uh…” Maya hums thoughtfully. “Hawoween!”

“Which one?” Janis chuckles. “Come here, show me.”

Janis carries Maya over to the movie rack to pick which DVD she wants. Apparently she meant Nightmare Before Christmas, so Janis helps her put it in and then returns to sit by her girlfriend on the couch. Cady nuzzles into Janis’ neck and rests her head on her shoulder to watch. Janis kisses her forehead and tugs her a bit closer, until she practically has both of her girls in her lap.

Maya wriggles uncomfortably as she’s suddenly squished and releases a frustrated whine.

“Hey, kid, not my fault you’re hogging my girlfriend,” Cady chuckles. “Come here.”

Janis lets Cady adjust the lot of them. She willingly falls back against the arm of the couch when Cady nudges her, and smiles when Cady tips back against her chest with Maya resting on her own.

“Better?”

Maya pokes her lower lip out in thought as she considers the new positioning. “Need b’ankies.”

Janis chuckles and pulls one off the back of the couch, resting it over Maya’s back and letting it drape down over herself and Cady. “How’s that?”

Maya nods and finally cuddles into Cady. Cady smiles and strokes her soft curls with a loving hand. “There we go.”

Cady has to bend her arm at a strange angle to reach the bowl of popcorn, but she doesn’t complain. Janis looks at her girls as the movie starts with a fond smile and a kiss to Cady’s temple. Cady smiles back and kisses the part of her chest she can reach.

“I love you,” Janis murmurs.

“I love you too,” Cady sighs contently. “So much.”

Maya continues munching on her popcorn and looking intently at the screen. Her moms both chuckle at the tiny crunching noises they hear as she watches her movie. “Hey.”

“Wha’?” Maya asks when Cady taps her head, popping up to look at them.

“We love you,” Janis says, booping her little nose. Maya giggles.

“Luff you,” she replies, resting her head back down to go back to her movie. Janis chuckles affectionately and starts watching as well, tenderly stroking through two heads of red curls.

————-

“Happy birthday, my loves!” Cady greets, kissing each forehead. Maya snuck into bed between them yet again and is being spooned by Janis.

“Hi Mama,” Maya grins.

“Hi pumpkin,” Cady says. “Happy birthday! You’re two years old today! You’re getting so big!”

“Mommy birt’day,” Maya says, wriggling around to see Janis.

“Yeah, it’s Mommy’s birthday too,” Cady chuckles. “Mommy’s sleepy.”

Maya brings up a hand to try to carefully pry an eye open. Janis groans sleepily and pulls her closer, but Maya is having none of it. “Mommy!”

“What?”

“Birt’day!” Maya insists.

“Let’s have a birthday nap,” Janis says, rolling over onto her back and squishing the little one on top of her. Maya wriggles discontentedly until she’s sitting upright and bounces up and down a few times.

“Wate up!” she pleads.

Cady giggles at their antics and crawls back into bed with her family. She kisses Janis’ cheek and lets Maya crawl to be on top of her instead.

“I made a special birthday breakfast for you two,” Cady says in an attempt to coax Janis into the waking world. “And there’s cake. And I have some special presents for you.”

That gets one of Janis’ eyes to pop open. “Present?”

“Mmhmm,” Cady hums. “I think you’ll like them. But only after your pumpkin waffles and super special chocolate cake.”

“Socklet!” Maya cheers happily. “Mommy! We hab cake!”

“Okay, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Birthday girl wants cake. Let’s go.”

-

“Here, pumpkin,” Cady says, handing Maya the next present. “Go give that to Mommy.”

Maya makes her way over happily and deposits the present on Janis’ lap. Janis picks her up and holds her on her other leg, then checks the tag. “From Maya. Can you help me open it?”

Maya nods eagerly and very helpfully removes all the tissue paper from the small bag. Janis reaches in to see what the actual present is, and pulls out a frame. Her brow furrows in confusion as she reads over the paper within, before shooting back up her forehead as her eyes well with tears.

“Adoption papers?”

Cady nods. “You wanna be Maya’s mommy for real? Legally, anyway?”

“Yes!” Janis sobs. “Are you serious?!”

“Of course,” Cady chuckles through her own tears. “Just sign those and it’s official.”

Maya looks between them in confusion. “Why you cwy?”

Janis holds her up and kisses Maya’s little nose. “I’m crying because I’m happy. This paper Mama gave me is super important and special.”

“Oh,” Maya says. “Happy cwy?”

“Happy cry,” Janis confirms with a laugh. Cady smiles seeing them interact and cuddle, and giggles as Maya tries to dry Janis’ tears and accidentally pokes her in the eye.

“One more,” Cady says. “C’mere, Mymy, I need you for this part.”

Janis pouts when she has to let Maya go, but does willingly hand the child to Cady. Her girlfriend takes Maya back to the bedroom and apparently changes her clothes, given the snippets of conversation she can hear between them.

“Mommy!” Maya yells when she comes back, barreling on shaky feet back to Janis. Janis catches her with a laugh and holds her close again.

“Maya,” Cady chuckles when she comes back too, holding one hand in her back pocket. “Did you even let her read your new shirt?”

“Oh!” Maya says when she remembers what she was supposed to do. She giggles as Janis grabs her under the shoulders and holds her up in the air to see her adorable new shirt. Janis nearly drops her when she reads it.

‘Will you marry my mama?’

Janis carefully brings Maya back down and holds her close, revealing Cady on one knee next to her. Janis claps her free hand over her mouth as Cady pulls out a ring box and opens it.

“Janis,” Cady begins. “My love. I can’t even begin to thank you for everything you’ve done for us. You gave us a home when we needed one, and so much love. You’re everything I could ever want and more. You’re the perfect mother to our little munchkin,” she says, tickling Maya’s foot. “And the most wonderful partner. I want forever with you. With us. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Janis sobs, barely letting Cady slip the ring on her finger before she hauls her up and slams their lips together. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Cady chuckles against her lips, kissing her sweetly and brushing her tears away. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Maya looks very concerned as both of her moms are now crying. “Mama?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Happy cwy?”

“Yeah, baby,” Cady confirms. “Happy cry.”

————-

“You ready?” Damian asks as he prepares to walk Janis down the aisle. Janis smiles faintly and nods as she takes his arm.

“I’ve been ready for a long time.”

“So have I,” Damian jokes as they start moving. He kisses her forehead once they make it down and heads to his spot behind the microphone.

Janis looks back down the aisle when the music picks up again, and grins when she sees little Maya standing at the other end in her big puffy dress and holding her basket of flower petals. She looks a little nervous to be in front of so many people. Maya carefully adjusts her flower crown and looks around for a second, before she spies Janis at the altar.

“Mommy, Mommy!” she calls, running down towards her. The only flowers that hit the aisle are the ones that fall out of the basket from her bouncing. Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and crouches down to catch her.

“Hi, Mymy,” she greets.

“Hi Mommy!”

The guests chuckle at that. Maya is still cute enough to get away with stuff. Janis points to the basket. “What’s in here?”

“Oh.” Maya says when she notices. Janis laughs and kisses her cheek.

“It’s okay, honeybun. I’ll go with you this time,” she offers. Maya nods, so Janis carries her back down the aisle and then back to the altar. She stops periodically for Maya to drop a fistful of her petals. “There we go, you did it!”

Maya grins happily at her before she’s passed off to Cady’s mother to wait for the ceremony to begin. Janis giggles quietly as she faintly hears a, “Woooooow.” from their daughter at the sight of Cady in her dress. Janis would be lying if she said she didn’t have a similar reaction.

“Hey,” Janis greets quietly when Cady finally makes it to her. “You look beautiful.”

Cady grins at her and adjusts the skirt of her dress. It’s quite simple, just plain white with a large, tiered skirt and a slit that goes a bit past her knee. Her hair is just in her natural curls down her back, and she’s holding a bouquet of the same flowers that make up Maya’s crown.

“Thank you,” she whispers. She reaches out to feel Janis’ white blazer. “So do you. You’re a little risqué.”

“Yeah, one wrong move and my whole chest is just out,” Janis chuckles quietly.

“Or one right move,” Cady flirts, waggling her eyebrows for emphasis. Janis flushes but manages to keep her shocked laughter quiet.

“Keep it in your dress ‘til we’re alone.”

“Fine,” Cady pouts. She peeks around Janis to see Maya sitting next to her mom and already munching on some snacks to keep her quiet. Maya looks up when she feels her gaze and waves eagerly, and Cady gives her a little wave back.

Damian begins his speech then, asking Janis and Cady to hold hands. Neither of them listen particularly close after that, electing to stare at one another instead. They do laugh when he says, “I came out to my mom as gay about fifteen years ago, and I know there was just a teeny tiny bit of disappointment that I wasn’t marrying a woman. I’m very excited that she gets to watch me marry two of the most incredible women today.”

After that they get lost in one another yet again, until Damian asks them to give their vows. Cady goes first, taking a small set of notecards from Damian with a thankful smile.

“Janis,” she says, looking her in the eye and squeezing her with her free hand. “Where do I begin?” She takes a breath before continuing. “I suppose the beginning is as good a place as any. Almost exactly three years ago. I came to you with one of the most difficult things I’ve ever faced. Finding out I was pregnant wasn’t quite the happy occasion I had always dreamed of. But you were there, and you supported me. And then her father left us.

“I had resigned myself at that point to the fact I would be a single mom. You let me grieve, held me while I cried, and took such good care of both of us while I was pregnant and recovering afterwards. Nothing I could ever say or do would even begin to be enough to convey my thanks to you for that. But I’ll try my best here. I realized on Maya’s first birthday that I had never been a single mother. From the moment I found out there was a baby in me, you were by my side. You were there for her birth, her first laugh, her first words, her first steps. For her. And for me. And now it’s my turn. I promise I’ll stick by you through everything we face, and I promise to love you through it all. I promise to support you like you’ve done for me, and to share the joys and sorrows of life with you. I’m so excited to share our life with you. Forever.”

Janis sobs quietly a couple times as Cady finishes and slides the ring onto her finger. Cady grins at her through her tears and tenderly swipes her tears away. Janis has to actively restrain from kissing her until she’s allowed to. But now it’s her turn.

She wrote note cards, but leaves them in her pocket. She knows she kind of rambled in them and figures it’s better to just fly by the seat of her pants and get the core message across.

“Caddy,” she begins. “I love you more than I can begin to say. And I have for as long as I can remember. You make me better. You keep me balanced, and grounded. And so, so happy. The years I’ve gotten to spend with you have been the best of my life. I wouldn’t trade a single moment in them for anything. Everything you do, every word you say, just makes me love you more. I thought I knew before what it meant to love, and then you came back into my life full force. And you gave me a whole other little person to love, too.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve the both of you, but I’m forever thankful for it. Both of you are such a light in my life. I can’t wait to watch our girl grow up while we grow old together. To spend my life with you. I love you more every day, and I promise to give you the rest of them. I promise to share every up and down of this crazy life with you, and love you through every moment. I always have, and I always will. Both of you. Thank you for everything you’ve given me.”

Cady sobs quietly a few times as Janis slides the ring home on her finger. She prepares to grab Janis’ face for the kiss, but Janis regretfully pushes her away.

“Maya,” she coaxes. Maya pops her head up to look at her with her precious smile. Janis beckons her over with a finger. “Come here, baby.”

Cady looks a bit confused, but bends to pick her baby up as she toddles her way over. Janis reaches into her pocket again.

“Now for yours. My little sunflower, my M&M candy girl. My Maya monkey. You bring me so much joy, so much happiness. I love your cuddles and your hugs, seeing that cute smile and hearing you laugh. I love watching you grow and learn new things. You remind me so much of your mama. You have her beautiful eyes, and her hair, and her precious smile, and her spirit. I got two of you to love. You have my whole heart, little one. I promise to give you so many cuddles and hugs and kisses, and to make all your owies better. I promise to snuggle you after you have bad dreams, and sneak you cookies when Mama says we can’t have any before dinner. I can’t wait to watch you grow up, and I can’t wait to see what incredible things you get up to. I love you so much, Emmy girl.”

Janis knows Maya doesn’t understand most of what she’s telling her, but she seems happy to just be included. Janis pulls a necklace the rest of the way out of her pocket and carefully fastens it around her neck. Maya reaches to feel it and smiles at her. Cady pulls it away slightly to look at the charm, and gives a watery smile at the gold heart with their birthstone on it.

“Okay, kiss the baby first,” Damian coaches. Maya giggles happily as she’s squished in her favorite kind of kiss before she’s put back down and released back to her grandma to show off her new necklace. “There we go. Now you two. I now pronounce you wives. You may kiss.”

Neither of them waste a second, grabbing the other wherever they can reach to pull her close. They can feel their happy future approaching as their lips meet for the first time as wives.

—-

Maya watches eagerly from the sidelines as her mothers have their first dance, and then runs over as she’s called to join them. Janis scoops her up and holds her between them as they move around the dance floor as a unit.

Cady kisses each of them and heads off, leaving Janis and Maya to dance together. Maya giggles happily as she stands on Janis’ shoes and holds her hands to be led around the floor.

“Are you having fun, M?”

“Yeah,” Maya says happily. “Mama got big dress.”

“She does have a big dress. Doesn’t she look beautiful?” Janis asks. Maya nods again. “You do too. You’re the most beautiful little princess here.”

Maya beams at her and cuddles in as their song ends and she’s held close once more.

She seems even more delighted when they get to the cake. Janis feeds her a bite and smiles at the stray chocolate on her lip.

“Yummy?” Maya nods eagerly and opens her mouth for more. Janis chuckles and gives her another bite. “Save some for us.”

Maya runs around to greet all her relatives during the speeches. Cady giggles quietly as she trips over her shoes on her way back to her moms. Maya just pushes herself back up and continues on her way. “Hi!”

“Hi, baby,” Cady chuckles, lifting her onto her lap and continuing to watch. Janis scoots her chair closer and rests on Cady’s shoulder. Cady tips her head to rest against Janis’, content to just hold both her loves close.

Once the speeches are over and the music kicks up again, Maya runs off to go dance. Her moms watch and laugh as she tears up the dance floor with her adorable moves.

-

“Cads?” Damian asks as she rests on his shoulder for a moment.

“Mm?”

“Where’s your child?”

“I dunno,” Cady yawns. “Janis had her last. I should probably go find her.”

“Yeah,” Damian chuckles.

Cady hauls herself upright and pops up on her tippy toes to look for her wife and child. She grins when she spies them on the dance floor as far away from the music as they can be.

“Hi,” she greets. Janis whirls around when she hears her.

“Hi, Peanut.”

Cady peeks a bit closer at the situation and feels her heart melt a little further when she sees Maya sound asleep against Janis’ shoulder. She’s cuddled close and her head is securely supported by Janis’ hand as they move around to the music. Cady comes close and kisses Maya’s chubby cheek gently.

“Couldn’t handle the party anymore, huh?”

Janis chuckles and adjusts her grip. “She’s out cold.”

Cady nods and rests her head against Janis’ shoulder. “Our girl.”

“Our girl,” Janis agrees softly. “My loves.”

“I love you,” Cady murmurs, popping up for yet another kiss. Janis returns it carefully so as not to wake the wee one resting in her arms.

“I love you too.”

“My parents are gonna take her for the night,” Cady says, gesturing to the baby. “So we can have our night together without… interruptions.”

“Can’t wait,” Janis replies. She kisses Maya’s forehead before passing her to her mama. Maya stirs and releases an anxious whine.

“Mommy.”

“It’s okay, Emmy,” Cady hushes, trying to rock her back to sleep. Janis gently runs a hand over Maya’s little cheek.

“Go back to sleep, baby. I’m right here.”

And I always will be.

-----

thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed!!

a big thank you to my friend julez_20 on wattpad for inspiring me to start writing way back when and also for letting me steal janis' wedding outfit description for this :))) and also just for generally being a lovely human. go read her stuff go now go.

anyway!! i hope you enjoyed this and i shall see you next week!

lots of love,

ezzy

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