#Oh what am I supposed to do without you

[varvaraq]

Oh, what am I supposed to do without you 💔

#my art #dsaf fanart #dsaf #dsaf dave #dsaf jack #davesport #they are such idiots #cuties patooties #i love them so much #i am crying #lovers #love #nostalgia #Oh what am I supposed to do without you #old sport #sportsy

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[doodleodds]

Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.

If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.

I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.

I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.

Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.

#p5 #akeshu #akechi goro #kurusu akira #wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack #it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size #also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks! #i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god #and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo #ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :) #why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute #well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part #hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :) #also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right #so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh) #hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake #ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it. #but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess #anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon

[puhpandas]

I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever

#also the book is just so fucking good #and tony becker is literally the best fnaf book protaganist ever once you understand his character #and how crazy the book writes him #like oh my god hes so tunnel visioned doomed by the narritave #any scenario where tony survives the attack is the best idea ever like fr #its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise #like u can do anything #and the characters are likeable too because they have FLAWS #tony isnt a bad person hes just in a bad place and is an asshole without realizing #and also twelve #like how am i not supposed to become obsessed with beckory when tony spent the whole book #accidentally obsessing over gregorys evil side and then being so tunnel visioned by his own emotional baggage that it kills him #exactly how his father warned him #and his father is the reason hes even so deep into solving mysteries like #and u can put that onto gregory if tony ever survived the attack #like he wouldnt want to believe it the same way he didndt want to believe his dad did it and repeat history #by delving deep into ggy #like damn every relationship ever with gregory is so fucking interesting #ggy never stop being awesome #pandas.txt #obviously beckory isnt the only reason i like ggy but damn its a big reason #tony and Gregory are both so flawed and have so much going on in their head theyd be fucking crazy together #also expanding on the tony stuff i said earlier gregorys side has so much potential too like #even if tony died if gregory ever remembered hed mourn tony and have to deal with that #even if they werent even that close at the time and Gregory doesnt even like. actually have any memories of being friends with him #and if tony survived its like gregorys remembering this faceless nameless boy as the only connection to his past #like what if they both searched for eachother after surviving what then

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Wait, fuck, hold on-

THEY CAN'T FUCKING BRING OUT AN ANTI-HERO ARTEMIS WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF STUDYING FOR FINALS!!

WHAT THE FUCK, DC?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS?!?

oh i am so excited holy shit. am i the only one getting slade vibes from her?? because im getting massive slade/rose wilson vibes from the single eye cover and im wondering if artemis is a plant, someone unconnected from slade who wouldn't be considered a threat, to go undercover and get close to the titans. this is also like, high-key a chance to make jade and artemis sisters and/or half-sisters in canon which would be neat. i know comics fans aren't huge on changes to the canon based on outside things but making them half sisters doesn't really change jades backstory, nor artemis'.

#i am beating back spitfire fans with a broom #you don't understand what you are asking for. this man canonically has children and is married to someone else #so you are only asking for heartbreak #also Artemis canonically has a kid with someone else #so. again. stop it. if it happens it will be SAD #which #... i mean honestly id be cool with it if it was like... a mutual breakup where they remain friends after #but i kinda want Artemis and Wally to get character development without romance involved so like #im team 'lets not do that pls' #oh holy fuck dc wait don't try to pair up roy and artemis. waid i love you i trust you pls no #this is the pain of being a fan of a female comics character lmao. immediately worried about a shoehorned romance #and don't get me wrong. i fucking LOVE YJs spitfire but this isn't that and it would be so different #and itd be real hard not to be different in a bad way #so #yeah #thats my thoughts #OH GOD FUCK IS ARTEMIS SUPPOSED TO BE FRAN?????? WALLY'S SUPERHERO/SUPERVILLAIN TEAMMATE GF THAT HE LEAVES THE TEAM FOR??? #TO GO TO COLLEGE TOGETHER?????? #Like. I know that Artemis took Frans place in YJ but is Artemis doing it AGAIN in CANON?? Waid no i LIKE Fran. #Shes magneto but cooler and she just wants to be normal and she was childhood bffs with Wally and she also murdered her family and grew up #with a cult mom. Fran is so central city coded. shes such a girl next door with skeletons in her closet #aughhh #dc #dc comics #kid flash #wally west #artemis crock #tigress #roy harper #speedy

[zymstarz]

yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart #zymtalk #rant in the tags -> #okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st #the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL #i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board #bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route #and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week #then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway' #and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened' #'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly #in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized #after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??' #but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure. #horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly #SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible. #im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it #oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]: #that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi #i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie #[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim] #but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long. #but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now #idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim #but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it #anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty. #side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶 #you are not safe

[sp1lled-d0llgutz]

mr loverman has literally been stuck in my head for the past many weeks and anime gayboys are to blame

#mr loverman #ricky montgomery #satosugu #jujutsu kaisen #asheiji #banana fish #sherliam #moriarty the patriot #im mr loverman #and i miss my lover man #oh what am #i #supposed to do without #you #im headed straight for the floor #the ways in which you talk to me #had me wishing i were gone #rb with more ships if u can #no pressure #tho

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

No one:

Me: Okay, but what if their relationship has nothing to do with Sonic and Tails? What if Metal literatally just saw Eggman working on Tails Doll and assumed without proof that they were created for him? What if Metal quite literally attached to Tails Doll through this assumption and then their partnership progressed naturally? What if the inorganic creations fell in love as an unorthodox power couple and just so happened to resemble a famous partnership?

#sonic the hedgehog #metal sonic #metdoll #tails doll #i just be ramblin #I am a great Sontails enjoyer okay #and I would be lying if I said I didn't originally consider this pairing because of this #However there is hilarity in making the relationship coincidental and have nothing to do with Sonic & Tails as there is interest to me in #inorganic beings growing close to each other and experiencing feelings they should not be able to #Eggman has a knack for even accidentally creating robots with souls #But also while I love the 'robot learns about love by spending time with a human' #I think it would be interesting for two inorganic beings to grow souls and develop/navigate feelings they should not be able to #feel together‚ even if they don't quite understand the exact nature of their relationship or what 'love' is (or possibly even that it *is* a #form of love) #I think of two beings who are not supposed to be 'real' so to speak developing that quality of 'realness' by seeing each other #Kingdom Hearts did this to me btw #Nobodies and data copies and replicas and toys and HECK even in terms of people that are considered real #The ability to grow hearts when others see you and believe that you are real #The idea that you only truly exist when someone else sees you and believes in that existence #kingdom hearts has forever affected the chemistry of my brain #Oh and also if you're reading this and you do see me make a post later that's more related to Metal and Tails doll forming any sort of bond #because of Sonic and Tails‚ know that I am aware of this. I know what I said #The dynamic I've talked about here is a preferred one but I contain multitudes and sometimes it is fun to be like 'this relationship began #in any capacity because of sonic and tails' even if it could hypothetically develop without that connection #anyways #Metdoll💖💖 #Oh wait one last thing. While this is a ship post I'm actually a bit fan of complex relationships #So if you have to put a name to the desired relationship I put Metdoll in it's better described as queerplatonic‚ but it's complex #They're just not siblings to each other. That's all

[unopenablebox]

i feel like once a month i go to sign up for a fic exchange, cheerfully put together three or four things i want to write for, realize that i have absolutely no desire to have someone write fic for me whatsoever, and take so long hoping i'll come up with three fandoms i expect to find bearable that the signup window times out

#i enjoy fanfiction. i read fanfiction in many domains #however i have approximately no expectation that a fic written for me in an exchange will be good. because. literally who knows #so instead i search for something so inoffensive that i am 100% confident i can write a nice comment about it #freeze up when i remember i'm supposed to produce a hundred words apiece of genuine enthusiasm about every fandom i request #and retire from the field defeated. #dickish? oh certainly. without question. #no one's ever written me a BAD fic for an exchange. but i live in fear #also the fact that most exchanges you request on ships rather than characters is also. difficult for me #not that i don't ship or write ships per se #it just comes with a certain implied weight of expectation on the part of the nominee #that i'll do something nice and normal. and what if someday i cannot. #box opener #text box

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

The Sun and The Void

Venezuelan inspired high fantasy

follows a young outcast swordswoman taken in by her grandmother, the dark sorceress for a noble family, who relies on the magic to keep her alive after being attacked by monstrous creatures

and a young noblewoman who’s the shame of her family because of her mixed heritage and desire to use magic

both are manipulated by those with more power than them into a plot to free an ancient evil god

mineral based magic, politics, nonhuman MCs

#The Sun and The Void #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #hm. haha. surface level this is kinda interesting and cool but i am going to follow with so many complaints #though I feel like it didn’t go into the magic or worldbuilding as much as I wanted and it felt irrelevant to the characters #like how does the magic even work? idk man #though I feel like it didn’t go into it as much as I wanted and it felt irrelevant to the characters #very slow to start and the pacing is weird. it would also go ages without having the other POV. very disjointed? #it felt like the first 60% was just context for the group of characters getting together as a group and then it was a bit predisposed with #They’re A Group! even tho. they're barely a group for long #the authors note mentions that the story concept started with a line about the god and ritual and…..yeah I can kind of tell #I feel like everything was built up around it in a way that ultimately that part didn’t fit right #I never bought that any of them were actually like fully committed to the evil dark magic? and also there’s this plot twist #that they have to fully kill the sacrifices & I was like…did we not already know that? girl r you stupid what do you think sacrifice means #also #oh my god at like half way one of the MCs is like. oh finally this guy who I’ve been exchanging letters with for months turned up to get me #away from here! by the way I’ve been exchanging letters with this guy and we’re friends! and like. she’d been doing nothing much for the #last 10% of the book why was that not like….shown as something she was doing? and like build up the friendship for the reader instead of #just dropping it on us - and also that we know the character from the other POV. and hes a racist prick. and we're supposed to believe she' #charmed by him because of this letter writing WE DIDN’T SEE….. why. #and then also that is like. he’s a shitbag and it’s obviously not romantic at all. he’s manipulative and terrible to her #EXCEPT at the end it implies his bad behaviour is because demon and oh uwu he gets all beat up and maybe hes sowwy now #and starts to imply she likes and is attracted to him? and I get the impression the next book is gonna be like evil power couple dynamic? #which. feels like the first concept the author had; and then tried to build up to that but not effectively lmao #for the lesbians: #I DO APPRECIATE having an assumed love interest then realising that that was idealised and actually you have feelings #for this other person you’ve become friends with! nice slow switch up. though quite brief #I do however dislike that when she admitted her feelings to the first LI and she rejected her it was still framed as the other’s fault #for not reciprocating the feelings….worst trope….also like. it kind of conflated her not feeling that way to her having a bit of class disc #which. yikes? oh my god stop villainising people for not reciprocating romantic feelings (ALSO they turn out to be related anyway 🤪) #i just feel like the romance switchover could have been done with more nuance and complexity

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

me, playing tgaa1: ok so this stronghart guy is obviously evil-

stronghart: london is the centre of the modern world. objectively best city. we have AAAAALL the cool technology you WISH you had our technology and public transport don't you ohhhh you wanna be a londoner so bad aren't you jealous of our trams

me, a rural english bitch and certified london hater: well now it's personal. it is on like donkey kong. i am going to have so much fun obliterating this man.

#words cannot describe. my seething hatred. for london. and everything it represents. #they steal like 99% of the resources and infrastructure meant for the rest of the country and for what #to have a public transport system that is so overly punctual that it's hostile to human life?? #no i don't want your stupid trams. but an hourly bus that actually shows up on time or at all would be nice #london bus driver who closed the doors on my sister while she was in the doorway on purpose #bc you were mad that my sister knew you were gonna not let me on so she stood in the doorway to protect me #from getting stuck alone in my personal hell for the crime of needing a second to get my debit card out #all because heaven forbid you be 0.0000002 milliseconds behind schedule #and be humiliated by showing up at the same time as the 3:04pm bus when you're the 3:03pm bus #because londoners are that fucking privileged i guess #oh london bus driver how i loathe you #don't even get me started on london underground don't get me STARTED #every time i am offered to go see a musical or whatever but i have to make my way there alone without someone else to help me #i decline. i have to. me + london = recipe for disaster. i am not navigating that shit alone absolutely not #i only did that once when i was running away/being kicked out (it's complicated) and had no choice but to do it to get to my grandma's #(which is why i lived near london for a few years bc i went to live with my grandma) #and like. i barely made it. bc why are there two stations with the same name right near each other #and why is the international one the one i have to go to even though it's supposed to be for when you're like #going through the channel tunnel to france or whatever #st pancras international train station i hope you explode #with the rest of london #i am going to look at a map of england really hard so i can explode london with my mind #anyways haha oopsie time to tag this ''properly'' #text post #mael stronghart #sophia's soliloquies #tgaac

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: February 17

“DYWTYLM” by Sleep Token

#song of the day #Sleep Token really saving my sanity as we navigate this dark and uncertain time without an upgraded sibling singalong playlist #had to go out into the snow on under two hours' sleep to get groceries #(the farmers' market gave me kefir cheese so any amount of suffering would've been worthwhile but I couldn't know that at the time) #and getting into Nick's car knowing there was music I could request that he could play loud as he wanted and I wouldn't want to cry #I mean blessing isn't even a strong enough term. baking a cake for the Sleep Token guy (his name is Vessel) as we speak #anyway this song sounds incredible in the original and then so odd sung acapella. like singing a bass line just a couple beats repeating #polar opposite of my lady indie covers. a song rendered fully unrecognizable when I wander the house mumbling it to myself #the verses do alright I suppose but the chorus is out of the question. the lyrics are so strong too real gut-punch lines #'and my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should / and I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could #and there is something eating me alive I don't know what it is / maybe not that you conceal your feelings they just don't exist' #the whole song is like that it is so so so good. every new Sleep Token song I hear I'm like oh of course yes I see why these are fic titles #(Sleep Token catching up to Fall Out Boy and Hozier in terms of lines I've seen as fic titles. I mean we are really getting up there #and I am definitely not immune. if/when I put up those fanmixes y'all are gonna be seeing some Sleep Token let me tell you) #edit: it stands for 'Do You Wish That You Loved Me' I just realized I never said #didn't even pick lyrics that include it which is nuts when you realize that every verse does twice. whoops

[coffee-bat]

i haven't been having the best time lately

#sorry vent incoming in tags. you dont have to read you really can skip this #/so the day before yesterday i had a major argument with mom. about something incredibly small but she got super mad at me (basically i #suggested she might have made a mistake while cleaning the oven bc when i turned it on i smelled and felt burning chemicals. like- #-teary eyes and sneezing i wasn't imagining it. and she got super mad and started yelling) #for the whole afternoon it was either silent treatment or yelling abt how what i said is 'unforgivable' #and ofc rejecting apologies and attempts to calm the situation down bc 'this isn't something you can just fix with an apology' #i literally just asked if she's sure everything went right with the oven cleaning. bc it was done in a rush. #so anyway at 10pm i HAD to get the situation to a manageable level bc i was starving and she was in the living room (we have an open kitchen #) so if i wanted to get sth to eat i'd have to confront her. so screaming match ensued again with me apologizing and explaining my point - #and her yelling over me. it went on for 40 minutes. finally after me apologizing like 70 times she calmed down but said that 'what i did is- #-unacceaptable and she does not give permission for it to happen again'. i went to sleep without getting anything to eat of course. #and this fucked me up. bc i really thought we were doing better. i really thought our relationship would only get better now esp after we - #-bonded on vacation. but turns out not. and shes still lowkey mad. #THEN yesterday im studying for a zoology exam and mention it on the phone with her #she goes 'who do you have zoology for'. i respond with the name of the teacher. confused. #'professor (x) died on friday.' #?????????? #'it's not published anywhere yet so yeah YOU have to tell your class' #i had a panic attack legit. i threw up from stress. i couldnt do it. first off bc of shock and secondly bc how am i supposed tojust jump #into group chat like 'oh hey btw professor died' #thankfully the info was posted officially by uni at 10pm. so i didnt have to do it. but mom kept pressing me to the whole day #i was nauseaous all of yesterday bc of it. i couldnt manage to study anymore after the shock. sure he was older but he was so energetic and #seemed healthy. i wouldnt have expected it it was just. a huge shock. im still not over it #like you cant know someone for half a year then not be shaken when they suddenly die yknow. and mom is lowkey making fun of me like #'what were you emotionally attached??? he wasnt anyone close' #no he wasnt but im still shaken. and being mocked is only making it worse. as is having to keep studying for his subject for the next few- #-days. #sorry ok vent over theres just. a lot happening for me and im struggling i needed to let it out ig. theres just too much at once #vent #death mention

[doodlingwren]

I didn't log in on Tumblr for a week bc was busy in UNI hell and the second I came back, I heard about the data sold to AI mess and what the fuck am I supposed to do or to say lol...

Anyway, I must add that I'm not going, like, anywhere else. Am I tired of this situation? YES, trust me. I've already experienced art being stolen to be handed over to AI programs (I'm talking about you, DeviantArt) but I'm exhausted from moving from one social to another. The most fucked up thing is that even with a deactivated account, your stuff can be used to training Midjourney and shit, so… like, there's not a lot to do.

The thing that makes me mad is the way Tumblr handled this. By the way they wrote the announcement, it does feel like it has already happened, and the update was just a notice.

#wren text tag #last time a thing like this happened I stopped drawing and posting for 3 years bc I had a mental breakdown lol #mostly bc before I used to draw only my ocs and it didn't feel good knowing they where being put into a meat grinder of an AI art generator #esp if you are like me -> person who spends months working on a character between design and backstory #now I use this blog only for fanart so I don't care a lot lol they are not even my characters #maybe I'll draw so much shipping art that the AI will automatically think it's a canon event lol #also I'm really REALLY rethinking my life decision of study art for a living lol #being an artist in 2020s be like #*NFT* *AI* * your drawing stolen* *your drawing reposted without credits* *erasing watermarks* *stolen artworks used to train AI* #OH YES and the “sorry we don't need an illustrator for this project (shows a poster made with AI)” #GIRLLLLL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #I JUST WANT TO DRAW FOR FUCK'S SAKE #forever thinking about those 600+ drawings I had to delete on DA #“I'm an artist” and when I say it this is how I feel 🤡🤡🤡

[wisecrackingeric-2]

hey hey consider. mr loverman by ricky montgomery but serennedy

BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I DONT THINK ABOUT THAT ALREADY. ON THE D A I L Y. REGULARLY. REPEATEDLY

#IM MR LOVERMAM #AND I MISS MY LOVER MAN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #OH WHAT AM I‼️‼️ SUPPOSED TO DO‼️‼️ WITHOUT YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #ericsasks

[im-smart-i-swear]

Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?

when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol

For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/

i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........

uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).

#ask #thank you for this ask!! it made me think more in depth about jiros abilities and come up with this so thanks<33333 #if you have any ideas pls share them with me cause im still not really 100% set on everything lol #also im making a new tag for this au -> #two distasters au #bc. theres two of them.. and theyre both Mentally Unwell #also im gonna use this ask as an excuse to ramble about jiros motivation and character a bit- #okay. so i feel like the most importrant things about jiro are her tunnel vision and self-rightiousness #she gets really focused on one thing at a time and then fixates on it so much that she doesnt see how her behavior affects others #so when she gets evicted from her own body her first reaction isnt 'oh god this is such a messed up and dehumanizing thing to do to your #friend. what the FUCK guys' #its instead 'oh COME ON how am i supposed to be the black paladin without a physical body??? what the FUCK guys' #and bc deep down she KNOWS that if she ever stopped and thought about her situation for like 5 seconds shed just fuckin BREAK. so. she #doesnt do that. #and bc her self worth hinges on being the black paladin #she is really protective of tha title and tries her hardest to make sure shiro knows just how much better at paladin-ing she is than him #and that he wouldnt be able to keep the role without her help #she doesnt have any sense of personhood besides her job and so she clings to it desperately #the same applies to her gender #when jiro gets a new body(did i mention that???? i feel like i forgot to mention that. whoopsie???) he #(sometimes im gonna use he/him for jiro for when im showing things from a certain characters perspective cause thats what pronouns #she was using at the time)(if thats not okay i can stop tho) was trying very hard to pretend that hes just Shiro No. 2 and nothing more #to kinda 'make things easier for everyone' and bc he could FEEL the gender crisis approaching and was just. dead set on ignoring it and #hoping those feelings would go away(spoiler- they very much didnt. it just made things so so much Worse) #so anyway. basically jiro is a person obsesed with being Good Enough and respected but also lacks the experience patience and foresight #wnich results in her ignoring everyone and everything else to focus on doing her job Correctly #does this makes sense?? im still figuring shit out with her but thats what ive got rn