ceruleanfuckup

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the french beatles

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humans need a glowing weak spot other than the prostate

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Plants actually move around a lot in 24 hours, they just do it very slowly | source

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Gender concept: a she/her cis woman

This is groundbreaking

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men can't get other men pregnant lol

Skill issue

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Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

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new reaction image

#reaction images

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I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

#i was at a party thrown by my best friend #his girlfriend is Literally Perfect and is not as responsible as she should be in making sure hes not a father prematurely #anyways i brought snacks and drinks (and firewood 🔥🔥🔥) and i walked up to them both and gave them an oatmeal cream pie each and said #here these are for you two because i know how much you love creampies #and this beautiful perfect woman says 'whats that?' #it took some prodding to make sure she wasnt kidding but ohh boy i was not expecting to have to explain that particular joke

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(for the purposes of this poll, there is no monkey's paw situation: the chore you pick stays the same level of difficulty/grossness/etc. as it normally is for you, and you only have to do it as often as you want to. the chores you don't pick are magically done for you exactly the way you'd want them to be, just with zero effort on your part.)

#bed for sure

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reblog to reblog from the person you reblogged from

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I want my money back

#i was the only almond at silk for 5 years

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CANNOT get over this dude's commitment to the bit

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Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

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#they get it