#NO!! take it back a notch bitch!!! reel it in!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lillaxtrigger · 2 years

Text

Street Smarts: Chapter 10

Monty and Wedsle’s footsteps could be heard reverberating across the golden corridor as they race their way through the apostle tunnels, every step they take bringing them closer to the middle of the lion’s den; the two psychic keeping their guard held as the violet one among them questions: “So, what do ya say is the first step in giving the good ole father a one way ticket straight to hell? Drown him in his own holy water? Circumcising his crotchety old ass til he bleeds out?” “Aren’t circumcisions a Jewish practice? Or am I’m thinking Egyptian?” the light leader wonders. “Don’t care, how we cutting his dick off?” “As it stands now, there's not a chance in hell that any of us can reasonably take him. Even if we gang up on the guy, I doubt it’ll end all that well.” “So what is the plan, or are we just charging in blind?” “Gotta find the psychic stone first, Even if we manage to cripple the apostle’s forces, what’s stopping them from gathering new one’s and starting all this over again. Above all else, we gotta make sure it’s outta there hands.” “But it could be anywhere down in this tacky ass bunker, how we even gonna start looking for it?” “There’s a couple of places out from this maze that I uncovered while scanning through; I think they’re a couple of good places to start. I just hope the other’s can hold out with whatever they run into this labyrinth to lend us a hand later.”

The dimensional psychic tightly clutches upon her own shoulder as her denim jacket is left stained with the crimson of her own blood; all the while she keeps her eyes locked to the heavenly knight of blood that stares at where she bleeds with almost perverted glee. Frida flinches from the searing pain that her own bullet had inflicted, letting out a pained hiss as she keeps any more of her scarlet from spilling out. It still ain’t making any sense. I try shooting directly at him, but I’m the one that got shot. My gun’s weren’t even aimed anywhere at me, so how the hell did this bloody bitch get me to shoot myself?

Before Frida could ponder any further over the strange string of events, she witnesses Dophomate lunge forth against her whilst brandishing the barbed wire wrapped around his own arms; the gun totting psychic flipping her pistols around to clutch the barrels as he nears. When the holy knight swings his barbed arms out against his sanctuary's intruder, Frida leaps aside him before even a piece of its steel could touch her, pistol whipping the bloody creep right in the back of the head in her retreat. Yet in the very moment that she smacks the handle of her gun against Dophomate’s head does the gun woman suddenly feel a blunt force hit her in the same spot as he had hit him; the heavenly knight left seemingly unscathed as Frida rubs the back of her own head. How the hell is he even doing this? I try attacking him, but I’m the one who winds up taking the hit. What the fuck kind of psychic power does this cretin even have?

Among questioning such, Frida witnesses the bloody knight unfurl the barbed wires wrapped around his arms; Dophomate grasping at the notched wires as the steel string fully unravels, revealing the line of barbed wires as a pair of bloody whips. “Has the situation not processed through you yet? Every blow you inflict upon me will be one you bring upon yourself. It is the nature of blood to bind us to one another, to sympathize and share in the plight of others. Unless you learn this, your end will come sooner than later.”

On the end of his speech does the bloody knight lashes his barbed whips out against the dimensional psychic; Frida however remains still despite the wire’s rapid approach. If what this guy’s saying true, then the moment those whips touch me-” But much to the dimensional psychic astonishing shock, she feels the notches rend through her denim jacket as it makes lacerations across her chest; Frida grunting out from the bleeding cuts inflicted upon her. “Ah...Dammit!”

Its after reeling back from the lacerations inflicted against her that Frida glares back to the heavenly knight to exclaim that: “The hell is that bullshit!? Thought you said that blood made us share each other’s pain. Why am I the only one getting hurt!?” “Tis true that blood should bind us to one another and would make you share in the pain of others, but lest you forget that I am the master of blood; I heed every cause and effect it has upon those stained by its scarlet. And to those end must you undertake every ounce of turmoil inflicted upon the both of us, for that is the punishment put upon lowly rats like you!” the heavenly knight preaches, lashing his barbed whips out against her once more.

Among evading the bloody cretins lacerating wires, Frida makes a leaping retreat to the stained red wall behind her; letting her psychic power surge through her body and preparing to shift within its golden surface. Bet those whips of his won’t be good enough to beat against a solid wall. Yet the moment that she lays her hands against the golden wall behind her, she feels not even a bit herself slip into its second dimension; rather left panicking as she slams her back against its hard gold. What!? Why did...Why can’t I phase into… Frida glances back to the wall behind her to quickly find the answer to her unexpected conundrum, discovering a potent crimson aura running through blood caked along the walls. No. No. No! He’s got his power running through the blood staining the wall. I can’t phase into it as long as is own aura’s blocking me. And with blood practically caked everywhere here, there’s not even a single spot for me to phase into. Not the walls, the floor. Every inch of this room is stained in red.

Among realizing the troubling depths that she had fallen in, Frida glares back towards her bloody foe to witness him lashing his notched whips out at her once again; the dimensional psychic narrowly evading their lacerating steel by the skin of her teeth. She’s forced to keep moving as Dophomate continues to whip his twin bloody wires out at her in a crazed frenzy; the knights maniacal laughter echoing through the chamber as he repeatedly whips out to his foe. This piece of shit’s got me completely cornered. I can’t make my escape, and I can’t fight back either. So just what the hell am I supposed to do!?

Thursotte is kept on his toes as dozens of pure white bubbles are blown his way by the holy knight he faces; Gelid continuing to blow out a stream of them with his giant wand while casting them out with a swipe of his paper fan. With every bubble that pops is a random force unleashed out from underneath their ruptured membrane; slashes, blunt strikes, fire, electric, acid, and so much more is inflicted onto the walls as Thurs runs from their soapy wrath, a display that amuses his holy foe. “Oh come now, you can’t dodge my bubbly barrage forever. Surely, even a lowly rat like yourself has some capacity to fight back; how else could you have made it this far?”

Hate to admit, put this pompous bubbly bastard’s right. Staying on the defensive’s only gonna work for so long. I need to make a move, else one of those bombastic bubble’s is gonna pop right in my face. But if I try using my power over chaos theory in a tight space like this; It won’t be guaranteed I come out unscathed. In the young man’s frantic race around the holy knight’s chamber, he swipes one of the metal hoops that are adorned across the walls; Thurs coating the ring in his dull silver aura as he takes aim against his heavenly foe. If I don’t, I’ll wind up like that anyway. So it’s better than doing nothing!

The young man tosses the disk out against his bubble blowing foe as hard as he could, sending it through the air and past several of his foe’s soapy orbs and towards Gelid’s head; the holy knight letting out a sly chuckle as he evades the thrown ring. “Is this the best you can muster?” Among his gloating bravado, the heavenly knight fails to notice the ring that Thurs had tossed striking against one of the knight statue’s behind him and leaving behind a crack along its torso that swiftly starts to make it crumble. As soon as the top half of the statue breaks off does it start to plummet down towards the bubble bastard; Gelid noticing the descending statue when the shadow looming under him rapidly grows, the knight leaping right out of the way before the hard stone could crush him. A piece of the statue breaks off from the crashing descent and juts its way towards the holy knight; the bubbly son of a bitch yelping as the piece smacks against his forehead and knocks his ridiculous looking crown off.

Arising up from the ground does the knight look to his foe with a perplexed glare, Giled clearly left confused over how these sequence of events played out. Play it cool, Thurs. “How’s that for fighting back, huh? And I’ll warn you now, I can do worse then that.” “Hmph! Nothing more than luck.” the holy knight denies.

Thursotte’s attention is drawn away from his bubble wielding foe when spotting another piece of the statue coated in his aura still lobbing through the air, hitting off one of the crests hanging along the top of the wall. What is it still doing? Swiftly returning his eyes to his foe, Thurs is left utterly astonished to find the holy knight have conjured a massive soapy white bubble 5 times their size; Gelid releasing the giant ball from his wand and casting it forth with a flap of his fan. “Let’s see you worm you way out of this!”

With the oversized bubble rapidly approaches him, there proves little room for Thursotte to leap out of way; the young man veering round as the ball of soapy while grows closer. Its among his panic that he spots his aura still spreading across the several decorative crest hanging along the wall, knocking against one another until a smooth silver one baring a depiction of Noah’s arc is knocked of the wall and flinging the disc overhead. As both the crest and the giant bubble threatening to crash upon him, a fleeting thought sparks within him as he thinks back to what Satette had advise him to do with his powers; remembering her saying to go with the flow of the chaos and take whatever advantage you can see from it.

With these words held in mind does an idea suddenly pop into Thursotte’s head, racing away from the bubble right on his tail and over towards the plummeting crest; Gelid letting out a mocking laughter as he howls: “Run all you want, you can’t escape whatever pops out of a bubble that big.” The gigantic soapy white orb only a few inches away behind him, the chaotic psychic leaps up against the wall and takes the dropping sliver decorative crest right out from the air; Thurs swiftly turning back to shield himself from the nearing bubble. Anticipating for his jumbo sized bubble to pop at any moment, the holy knight is left puzzled as to why the giant ball had yet to burst; wondering aloud how: “What!? Why is...why isn’t it popping!? What did you do!?”

On the other side of the giant white bubble, Thursotte had manage to successfully stop it dead in its tracks and keep it from bursting against him; the holes of the silver crest he held catching a part of the orbs surface and entrapping it in the gap. Having caught his foe’s oversized bubble in his clutches, Thurs takes a deep breath before blowing through the holes of the silver crest to cast it right back to sender; Gelid astonished to see the giant bubble he had blew thrust back towards him. Just when his own creation was about to blow up right in his face, the heavenly knight repels the giant white bubble away with several swings of his paper fan, casting back out towards the target he had intended it for.

Despite it not leading to the results he had wished for, Thursotte rebound stunt does manage to give him more roo to evade the returning bubble; the young man rolling out of the way as it pops against the wall to unleash and powerful punch which dents the side he had stood against. Seeing his foe roll out to the side, Gelid discovers the silver crest held in the young man’s grasp, all the pieces connecting for him as he goes: “He he he he, you’re a clever little rodent, aren’t you? Using that crest you nabbed is only gonna work for bubbles that big though. It won’t do you much good for smaller ones.” Pompous bubbly asshat. Bet he wouldn't be so high and mighty without those tools in his hands. If I’m gonna get anywhere in this, then disarming this dickhead should be first priority.

“This can’t be.” An overwhelming dread takes hold of the lively psychic as she’s forced to look upon the faces of those raised from their rest by the holy knight of death; two among the horde Satette recognizes as to apostles she had faced before. One being the guy she had chased throughout the store, and the other the girl she had faced while sailing the New York channel. “Those two?” “So you recognize a few of them. Indeed, these be different then the cadavers you have face within the catacombs; for the dead buried within this holy domain be the apostles that have fallen in the name of our righteous cause. They awake from their rest to serve once more.”

These words prompt the small crowd of undead to lunge forth against their master’s challenger; a fierce anger wells within Satette as she breaks away the brittle bones that hold her ankles, retreating from the incoming mob. “How do you do this!? How could you bring them back from the dead after what happened to them? Haven’t they suffered enough!?” “Suffer? My dead child, you seem to misunderstand. Their return is not for sadistic torment, but rather a fulfillment of their duty.” “Is this part of their so called duty, to be brought back in this decrepit and horrible state, all as nothing more than your puppets.” Sat demands to know, evading the punches and kicks of her undead pursuers. “For soldiers with gift’s like us to serve in the name of the lord, the apostles serve mind, soul, and body. It is a contract each of us uphold. And though death has robbed them of their gift, they still hold their duty in body.” explains Cadna. “That’s insane! What about respecting the dead!?” “If you wish for them to be respected, then let them uphold their duty. Face them as they were in life, as soldiers of God!” the holy knight demands, pointing the tip of her rapier against Satette.

A dedication to ones cause that holds steadfast and true, even beyond the inevitability of death. It was an admirable drive that resonated with Satette on an almost core level. To hold the will to keep true to a goal was something that she showed to desire among the terrible climate of her environment she was forced to grow into after her father’s passing. It was thanks to that same climate that her dad had been taken, and a will to change it all burned within her since. If she were to make that wish come true for herself, the young woman would need to hold a dedication to it greater then her foes for their’s; it’s only then that perhaps she can finally come towards the right path. If I want the world to change, then I must hold to fight for it. To fight for my life!

Among her fleeting race away from the horde of summoned undead, they manage to back her into a corner and slowly close in against the lively psychic; Satette brushing her hand against the scaly hide of her purse moments as the crowd readies to jump her. Before even one of them could lay their decomposed clutches upon her, a powerful light blooms from her purse as it starts to transform; reconfigure its molecular structure as an elongated neck juts out from its side and bites down upon one of the terrible zombies.

The natural green light around this neck dissipates to reveal the head of a python having bitten down upon its rotted flesh, Satette lashing her scaly weapon down to rip through its rotted flesh with her serpents sharp fangs. The very appearance of the python takes Cadna quite a bit back as she watch’s her foe use it to tear through her summoned army; Satette plunging the fangs of her snake into another of the undead and pulling back to fling it into the other’s; the horde of dead busting apart as one of their own slams into them. “It...is that a python? Did you really bring a python down her while disguising it a purse!? Wh-where did you even get one of those bad boys?” “Lets just say, I have my ways.” Sat claims, thinking back to how she snuck it out with her from the city Zoo.

Yet having dispatched the majority of the horde be not the end of her struggles, as she glances over to witness the decomposed body of one of her former foes charging against her; the former psychic of armored water swinging out with her bulky arms. Similar to that of a serpent slithering away from its foe, Satette avoids the muscular behemoth by the skin of her teeth; the young lady feeling the undead’s decomposed skin brush against her own as she slides away. While slipping out from underneath the giant, the lively psychic casts the head of her serpent whip against her foe and wrapping her snake around the behemoth’s leg and tugging at it to trip the former psychic.

Just before Sat could take another stab at the giant while it was down, a pair of limbs come out from behind and wrap its arms around her neck and head; the lively young woman peering back to discover the other psychic she had faced before in the supermarket, holding her by her head. The cold grasp of the decomposing man sends chills down her spine as its fingernails start digging through her skin; Satette fighting through the pain as she recalls her scaly snake whip back to her side. Satette commands her serpent weapon to slither across the upper half of the former psychic of friction and begin constricting the zombie’s body; its grip against Sat weakening as the python squeezes it tighter and tighter, breaking apart its decomposed body as it constricts the undead further. Finally, the living corpse that had her in its clutches breaks apart from the snakes vice like grasp, releasing Satette as its pieces falling to the stone floor.

Sat refuses let her guard down though as she finds the behemoth swiftly on the approach, the muscular woman holding her arms up and clutching her fists as it charges out to her like a wild beast. The lively psychic leaps aside before the giant could hammer its fists down upon her, the zombie’s downward swing leaving behind a sizable crack along the stone floor in its wake. After landing back on the ground, Sat gauges through her surroundings to see what could aid her against the raging undead giant, seeing next to nothing but the pieces of the army she had busted up before hand.

Yet the odds do little to deter her as the deathly giant of an undead woman begins its charge once again, Sat swings her snake out to fetch some of the blown off limbs that litter the ground and whips them out against the nearing undead hulk. A severed arm held within the serpents mouth, the psychic of life whips the head against the behemoth and hits it in the face with the disembodied limb; the blow strong enough to make the giant stumble back. Satette gives the undead woman little time to recover as she repeatedly stretches out her whip to grasp at another piece and lash out with it a dozen hefty punches and kicks. This strategy doesn’t last long however, as the number of severed body parts she could fling dwiddles to none, giving her giant decomposing foe a moment to regains its balance and again make a beeline dash towards her.

The hulking giant of a zombie rapidly charging forth, Sat stands motionless upon its approach as she waits for the exact right moment to make her move. And just when the hulking undead could slam into her does the lively psychic take a bounding leap right over her incoming foe, latching the sharp fangs of her snake into its neck as she jumps over. Her serpents vice like maw clamping upon the neck of the behemoth, Satette tugs against the giant as hard as she possibly could; the undead hulk beginning to overpower her almost instantly as it pulls back as well. The obvious difference in strength fails to keep the girl down though, as overpowering the muscular zombie wasn’t her game plan. No, for her real strategy unfolds as she and the giant heave against one another, the neck of the undead beginning to rip off its shoulders the longer the two fight against each other’s pull. Come on. Just a little more. Soon enough does the constant tugging manage to completely rip the former psychic’s head right off its shoulders and hurdle through the air. Her serpents fangs still latched onto the flesh of its neck, Satette swings the severed head overhead and sends it slamming down against the cold hard ground; the rest of the behemoth falling to the floor as its head is left smashed into rotted brain matter and skull fractures.

Its in returning the head of her snake whip to her side that she hears the sound of a single applaud echo across the chamber, Satette peering back to discover the heavenly knight clapping for her victory against the army she had summoned. “A good show, young lady. You seem to fare using methods alongside your gift to win the day. You would make a fantastic apostle in our ranks.” “But you know that ain’t gonna happen, right?” Sat tells her with a fierce glare. “I can tell in your eyes you have far more ambitions held in your heart, but have it in you to temper them to reality, or shall they never stand as nothing more but glints of a dream. If you wish to continue. Prove to me their worth. Demonstrate that you hold the will to press on through the trails and tribulations of life!” Cadna declares, brandishing her bone like rapier against the lively psychic.

From the darkness of a tunnel corridor do both the psychic of light and rage respectively emerge out from its depths; Wedsle relieved to find the gold of the maze finally breaking off into a solid ivory brick with doors laid across and hooded figures strolling along. A signify sign of them finally having made it out of the labyrinth if anything else. But before the violet psychic could even start to celebrate making it out from that tacky lookin ass maze behind him does Monty grab him and drags him back behind the wall, the light leader covering Wedsle’s mouth as he hides from the prying eyes of a passing cultist. This woman, having caught a glimpse of a few shadows slinking around the corner, approaches to investigate and starts to slowly near the corner.

She’s left a somewhat hesitant over who or what could be waiting for her around the wall, but presses on nonetheless; knowing full well that way being the exit for the golden tunnels. Could somebody have breached into their inner sanctum? What business could they have to risk going through the winding golden labyrinth? Its in these questions that she swiftly peeks around the corner, her initial tension draining away when discovering there be not a soul to be seen anywhere through the corridor; a strange sense of puzzling relief filling her as she simply decides to shrug it off. Returning to her business though, she is left completely unaware of the two gents that she had unknowingly laid eyes upon; the light Monty had bent rendering both he and Wedsle completely invisible to the naked eye. Upon this close call of theirs does Monty signaling to go in the opposite direction, Wedsle giving a thumbs up before they tread far more carefully through the apostle’s stronghold.

“Man, that’s not-That doesn’t sound right.” Standing in the middle of the ivory hallway be two apostles, locked in a heated discussion over each other's perception over a popular and iconic name; the other reiterating that: “It’s true. It was Bearinstain.” “But I read their books when I was a kid. The cover’s read Bearinstein. I watched the show too.” Amidst their clearly critical and important conversation over this matter do the two mobsters simply stroll right past them among their bickering, utterly invisible to the both of them. “No. No. No. I read those books too, and they were always called Bearinstain.” “Sam. How long has it been since you seen them?” “I don’t know, since I was 10, 11...Maybe?” “So maybe your misremembering. Memories are like that sometimes, you know.” “But-but I…”

When making it to the other side of the corner, Wedsle is about to continue on their way, but stops when realizing his light leader’s attention is still caught in the apostles argument; the violet psychic left a little worried and is about to nab him when Monty suddenly tells them: “It’s Bearinstain, you dumb fuck!” “See, I knew it. I knew I wasn’t going crazy.” one of them exclaims, leaving Monty continuing on, with Wedsle following after. “Wait, who was that?”

Light from the ivory hallway floods into a room as the door opens seemingly by itself, slowly and quietly creaking open to cast out the shadows and reveal the inside of an office decorated in gold; the invading light reflecting off the golden plague engraved with the name: “Father Estabon”. And suddenly is the door shut quicker than it had been open, the knob turning back as soon as it touched the borders of the doorway; this being the queue for Monty to return him and Wed’s visible again as he flips the switch to the office’s own light.

Turning back towards the door, the light leader places his palm over the glass and starts to rub away the light shining in, rendering the inside of the office from the outside completely blacked out. “So what makes you think were gonna find the stone in here.” Weds can’t help but ask his boss. “They haven’t had it for very long, so there wouldn’t be enough time to put it somewhere safe. The bosses office is usually the next best thing for them under such short notice, probably hiding it behind some files or something around here. You check the desk, I’ll peruse through the cabinets.”

Like the light psychic instructed, Wedsle begins his end of the search in the father’s office desk with the drawers; pulling one of them back to find it filled with small little trinkets and boons aplenty that glisten against the office lights; the violet psychic letting out an intrigued awe before he start to shovel some of it in his pocket. Be nice to save this stuff for the old nest egg. But while shoving the trinket in his pockets, he takes a closer inspection at one of them when noticing there be small bubbles long the edge; rubbing his finger against the side to see small gold chips falling off and revealing the copper underneath. He seriously fucking painted this shit!? God dammit!? What’s there about this jackass that isn’t fake!?

Monty end of the search leads him to cracking open one of the office cabinets and brows through the dozens of documents that are stashed inside; the light leader peering into every single file held inside the drawer. Among his peruse through the numerous folders does he pull out a picture from its depths; the light leader left utterly sickened from what the photo holds as he immediately returns it into the files depths, needing to take a breath over what he had just found. God! This guy checks about every tick under the corrupted christian figurehead box, doesn’t he? And I let him near Wedsle when he was only 15...Christ… In his disgust however he returns his fingers back to the very file he found these incriminating pictures as he pulls out his phone, lifting them out from the folders as he takes pics of them. Still, might be handy to have these pieces of damning evidence in case thing’s start going south.

“Find it on your end?” Wedsle asks whilst peeking out from the other side of the father’s desk. “Not even a glint of it.” his light leader responds. “You even sure that the stone’s even in here?” “Considering how long they had it, I can’t really think of anywhere else these classically predictable dipshits would hide it.” “You’re seriously just guessing here?” “Well what else am I supposed to do, Weds. It ain’t like our higher ups could put a tracking device on the stone. Even if they did, I doubt even these guys would be dumb enough not to trash it as soon as they got their hands on it.” Monty explains as he breaks away from the open cabinet. “You didn’t bother thinking that maybe the dear father here might’ve stashed it away on his person instead?” “I mean that’d be way too risky, even for him.” “Can’t you just use your light powers to find it like in the maze or-” Weds suggests, moving around the desk and to his bosses side.” “There has to be light there in the first place. Can’t really search through every darkened nook and cranny of this office.”

“Alright, alright, alright, alright. Let’s think for sec before we start bitching at each other. These fuckers are emulating old religious theology from like the 1600’s or some shit; how did those old pastor back then use to hide their dirty little secrets?” Weds wonders. “They didn’t have much in the way of like safes or filing cabinet, so I’m betting they had like secret compartments or stuff. You think this son of a bitch might have one around here.” “Don’t know, but considering the old LARPing lot were dealing with. It might be our best bet.”

Upon this suggestion does the duo continue their frisking search within the father’s office; Wedsle moving around some of the office equipment and furnishings in hopes of discovering a secret compartment or hole behind them; pulling back the cabinets, chairs, pictures, and desk for any sign of such. His search however holds no hidden compartments to speak off, the violet mobster finding little aside from cobwebs, dust balls, and ant traps. Weds’s attention is withdrawn over when seeing his light bending bosses slowly slide across the marble tiled floor, Monty holding his ear to the floor as he knocks against every tile he comes across. “The hell are you doing, man?” Wedsle questions. “Couple times in this career of mine, I found these guys got their loot stashed underneath the floor. A kind of hiding in plain site sort of method.” “What makes you think that they’d be dumb enough to hide something so important right underneath their feet?” “I mean, we are dealing with theological fundamentalist’s here, so…” “Fair point.”

Returning their attention back to the search, it isn’t until knocking against a couple more tiles that Monty notices one of them sounding completely hollow underneath; the light psychic cracking a smile as he pulls his head off the floor to comment: “And “X” marks the spot.” “You find something?” Weds asks him, peeking out from behind another office cabinet. “Let’s see what kind of treasure this guy buried under here.”

Brandishing a dagger out from the back of his pants, the light leader jabs the tip of his knife in between the tiles and gets to work prying the one he heard ring hollow off the floor; Wedsle moving to his boss’ side as the piece of marble starts to break off. With all his prying and fidgeting does Monty soon manage to rip the marble tile right off the floor, uncovering a hollow nook left hidden underneath that held a lead box. Uplifting this box out from the underground, Monty flicks open the lid to find their sought after prize;`the covet psychic stone, encased in a ball of glass. “We got the shit, baby! Let’s drag our ass out of this ivory and gold pit.” Monty declares as he is about to put the stone away. “Wait, wait, wait! Lemme see, lemme see.” Weds requests before his boss could put the box away.

Handing the stone in question to the violet psychic, Wedsle plucks it right out from the lead box for a closer look. In inspecting the glass encasing the precious psychic pebble, Weds peers underneath to discover a crack stretched along the bottom; slivers of strange colorful light seeping out from this part of its compromised shell. “The hell you looking at.” his boss wonders. “Think I see some kind of crack along the bottom. But what the hell is up with this light coming out, I don’t-”

But when inspecting the bottom of the glass casing, one of these leaking lights jolts out from the crack and strikes the purple mobster in the forehead; the blast causing the violet psychic to tumble back into the wall as he drops the precious rock. “Wedsle.” Monty yelps, rushing to his partner’s side. “Weds, what happened!? You alright!?” “Nahh!” the purple psychic cries out, grasping at his temples. “Head pounding! Hurt’s...so much! Fuck!” “Uh, alr-alright. I’m sure this’ll pass. We just gotta round up the other’s and get hell outta here. I’m sure the mob’ll figure out what’s going here.” Monty prattles, clearly trying to not panic from these new developments.

“Oh dear. You’re leaving already?” An overwhelming chill courses through his spine as the light psychic hears these words of another ring out to him; Monty slowly peers back towards the door to discover the very head of the apostles standing between him and their only exit out from this office. The beloved and trusted father of the district, Father Estabon, stand before them, engulfed in a thick holy aura. “Not before saying your goodbyes to the old father?”

Frida is left with very little options in facing against her bloody foe but to race around the blood soaked chamber, evading the holy knight’s lacerating barbed wire whips as she; all while left at a loss over how she could possibly fight back against Dophomate. Even if I pull out my biggest guns against this creep, anything I try’ll just wind up hurting me instead. If I so much as graze him, I’ll be the one taking the punishment. How the hell am I even supposed to fight back against somebody I can’t even hurt?

While in the midst of dodging the heavenly knight assault is one of his wires caught on one of the torture devices laid strewn throughout his chamber, a wooden chair laced with spikes along the seat and the back; Dophomate constantly jerking and tugging at his whips in an attempt to loosen them. Though all of his pull does soon wretch his weapon free, it also breaks apart the chairs flimsy wood and causes it to bust apart; one spiky piece of the torture device flung right towards him. Watching the piece of spiked wood careen towards her foe, Frida observes the bloody knight sidestep away from the incoming plank; an action that the dimensional psychic takes note of.

This cretin didn’t even try to tank that, he just dodged right out of the way. Whatever I threw at him, he just let hit; knowing that I’d be the only one getting hurt. Even if I tried shooting him, he didn’t raise a single eyebrow, but a flung piece of wood made him jump like that? Was it because I wasn’t touching it? Doesn’t matter. At least that little display told me one thing: if I can’t hurt him, I just gotta make him hurt himself.

“Whatever are you staring at me like that for?” the heavenly knight questions, looking to the dimensional psychic as she glares at him. “You’re attempting to come up with some sort of plan? All just from seeing me jumping out of the way like that? Let me assure you that whatever sort of strategy you have cooking in that mind that it won’t work. Stabbed, cut, beaten or shot; dare bring harm to me and it shall be you to suffer the consequences; there’s nothing you can do against me that your not ready to do to yourself.”

A declaration of which he proclaims as the heavenly knight resumes his lashing assault against the pistol wielding woman, a lashing assault of which Frida continues to evade from. The gears in the dimensional psychic’s head start to turn as her eyes dart through the countless torture devices decorating the chamber, one in particular catching her attention: a triad of clamps left hanging along the side of a rack. With an idea popping in her head, Frida quickly scuttles over towards the rack where the strange device hangs, dancing around her bloody foe’s snapping steel whips; the notches from the string scrapping against the blood caked walls with every lash. Upon reaching the side of the rack does the gun woman stand right behind the clamping torture device in question as her holy foe again casts his barbed whip at her, leaping right out of the way just before its steel barbs could even graze her; the wire wrapping around the handle of the clamps before the holy knight pulls his whip back, sending the device hurdling straight towards him.

But just before the sturdy clamping device could bash against the knight’s bare, blood soaked head, it’s handle is caught right out from the middle of the air as Dophomate lets out an amused chuckle. “You think me moronic enough to fall for the same trick twice? I’m offended. I’ve been in plenty enough scraps to understand the downsides of my own gift. You seek to deliver damage on to me by own mistakes and accidents; a rudimentary plan any neanderthal could make in this circumstances.” he proclaims to his foe, wrapping his blood soaked string along the handle of the clamp. “Be assured that if you wish to see the light of day beyond my bloody domain, a far more clever strategy must be in order!”

An assurance that the holy knight states before he tosses the pear of anguish that she had attempted to hit him with right back at her; its triad clamps opening up as it hurdles through the air. Frida evades the clamp by the skin of her teeth by delving right under it, but feeling the barbs underneath scrap against her back as it flies over. Witnessing the holy knight pull back on his notched wires with such fervent, Frida peers back to realize the clamp tied to the end of the whip coming right back towards her and leaps aside upon its return. The holy knight then swings both clamp and whip sideways like a hefty mace, the blood cretin flinging the iron clamp around like the end of a hefty hammer; Frida once again evades her foe’s swing with bounding leap right over the clamp and the lacerating string. The clamp tied to the end of the whip is sent crashing right into a blood soaked wall with enough of a punch to break off the bloodied brick and uncover a patch of unsoiled surface, seeing this piece of uncovered wall causing the gears in her head to once again turn. Every break this dipshit makes in the wall is another piece of space that I can crawl into. If I can get him to make more a wreck, it’d give me more room to breath.

Every swing of the flail that the holy knight casts, with every pounding strike that Frida evades is another break in the blood caked wall made, the dimensional psychic forced to do little but stay on her toes and dodge the bloody cretins strikes, all until practically half of the golden layer that makes up the wall had been smashed in. Despite having tipped the playing field in her favor a tad, Frida know’s that it’s not anywhere enough to triumph over her bloody foe; disarming the man of his makeshift flail be another matter to contend to before hand.

Yet this fight start to take a turn for the worse, a loop of Dophomate’s barbed wire wrapping around her Frida’s leg; the dimensional psychic nearly tripping over as the wire’s cut through her pants and lacerate her skin. Unbeknownst to the holy knight however is that the dimension psychic had planned this “mistake”, getting her leg caught within the knight’s grasp as the clamps momentum continues, twirling her leg around to keep it going as the hard clamp swing back towards her foe: “Struggle all you want, but as soon as your caught in my wires grasp, you’ll-” the knight of blood taunts moments before the clamps attached to the end of his whip comes bashing against the side of his head. “Gah! Dammit!” Whilst the knight is left reeling from the unexpected blow to the side of his head, Frida unravels the piece of barbed wire wrapped around her leg; her limb left somewhat bloodied from the lacerations the string had inflicted.

Having untied the hefty clamp from the end of his barbed wire whip, the heavenly knight tosses the torture device aside as he glares to the pistol wielding woman with irritation and scorn; letting out a small growl before barking: “You think you so clever, don’t you?” “I’m mean, to be fair, that wasn’t much.” “Well don’t worry. You’re about to get a whole lot more from me.” Dophomate claims, again lashing his lacerating whips against her.

Bursts of flame and frost explode out from the bubbles of white as their membrane pops open, striking against Thursotte with their fiery and frosty fury. But the young man ignores these painful sensations as he uses the crest he had swiped to block some of the other bubbles, a lot of them refusing to pop when caught within the gaps of the decoration. “Try as you might, that little babble can only do so much for you. It can’t hope to catch every bubble I cast your way.” Gelid warns, swinging his fan to send forth another flurry of bubbles towards his intruder.

After blowing off what bubbles were attached to the crest, Thurs again makes a bolt away from the barrage of soapy white; the young man tossing out the decoration in his hand to his oddly dressed foe like a throwing disc. The heavenly knight tilts his head a little to the side to easily veer from the incoming disc, letting out an amused giggle as he taunts: “Fool, to toss away what was your only hope? What do you plan to accomplish?” Unknown to the holy knight however is that Thursotte had infused the piece of thrown decoration with some of his chaos triggering power, the crest hitting against the top of a knightly statue and causing it to fall back against the wall; the impact of which shakes the wall and causes a bunch of other décor atop the shelf come rolling down. A few of these decorations wind up beating against another of the statues, in particular one wielding a very large stone sword that nearly reaches the ceiling; the monument of the medieval knight tilting over as its blade gets caught against one of the hoops hanging on the ceiling.

But its with his attention caught at the results of his own chaotic powers that he fails to see the volley of white bubbles swiftly gliding straight at him; the balls of soapy white too close for him to dodge in time and can only brace for whatever they had in store. Every pop, every burst, every bubble that breaks against his body brings forth assaults in numerous forms; Thursotte cut, bashed, burned, froze, and electrocuted; every sensation of pain hitting him all at once like a symphony of suffering. A display of which Galid takes great amusement over.

When upon this cacophony of bubbly destruction comes to a close, the poor young man is left in a terrible state, bloodied, bruised, and burned throughout his figure; Thursotte is left barely able to stand as he struggles to keep from falling onto his knee’s. “Finally, I was beginning to think that I wouldn’t land even a single hit against your limber figure. But it seems your inattentive habits have give me the opening I need.” Little does Galid realize that the hinge holding iron hoop above him starts to come loose as it bares the weight of the tilted knight statue; but the statue breaks loose before the hinge does and fall down towards its owner.

Taking a swift glance behind him does the holy knight finally see one of his statues threatening to fall down upon him, leaping right out of the way as the hefty stone knight crashes against the floor. The bubble mage is left shaken as he unintentionally backs away right underneath the iron hoop, swinging back and forth until the hinge it hangs on finally breaks from the ceiling. The descending hoop drops against one of the holy knight’s arm and knocks the fan right out of his hand; this prompting the bruised and beaten Thurs to suddenly sprint out towards the holy knight. Galid makes several bubbles to try and shield himself against the wounded man’s advance, but is left puzzled when at the last moment Thursotte doesn’t even go for him, rather aiming to snatch away his hand fan before he could reach down to nab it. After snatching away the fan off the floor, Thurs leaps back from the heavenly knight and waves out a gust of wind upon the very bubbles that his foe had conjured; the flapping fan casting the soap white orbs to the knight that had made them.

The heavenly knight of death thrusts her bone rapier towards the lively psychic; the head of Satette’s python whip bites down against its blade before the knight could touch its master, pushing the tip of the weapon away. Cadna slips the bone of her sword out from the python’s fangs and this time swings it edge towards her foe’s neck, the lively psychic bending her head over to evade the knight slash before wrapping the tail of her serpent around the knight’s leg. The knight of death plunges the tip of her rapier into the soil and spread her dark green power into the earth, summoning a bouquet of decomposing limbs at her feet to clutch the snakes tail; Satette making her snake slip out from the grasp of the undead limbs and instead thrusts the serpents head to bite down on her foe’s arm. But alas is the python’s fangs not enough to pierce through the knight’s bone armor, its bite not even laying a scratch against Cadna’s suit. “Attempting to break through my armor is a futile task, young lady; for these bones are packed with finely rich calcium collected from those that have passed on. Such thinly lined fangs are not enough to break through its tough hide.” “Ain’t trying to bite through.” Sat claims. “Huh?”

Before Cadna could understand what her foe means, the lively psychic catches the knight off guard by jerking the old woman towards her; the heavenly warrior of death tripping up as Sat lunges at her. With all that she got, Satette thrusts her foot against the knight’s chest piece and sends her fumbling into one of the tombstones; leaving behind a small crack in her bone like armor. “Think that’s enough?” “Perhapes. But at what cost?” asks Cadna, showing the head of Sat’s serpent whip in the palm of her hands. A glance to her weapon reveals the snake she had wrapped around her arm having been decapitated, its length unraveling off Satette as the snake falls to the ground. Before the lively psychic could reach down and snatch up what was left of the serpents body, a dark green aura surges through its scaly hide and reduces it to dust; Sat looking back to her foe to see the snake head in her hand’s dissolve to nothing but a skeleton. “Aw, dammit.”

“Without proper discipline in your gift, such reckless actions are bound to be punished. There is no greater folly in the young than thinking power alone will lead to victory.” the knight claims, crushing the snake skull in the palm of her hand. Upon this declaration does Cadna suddenly lunge forth at her foe with rapier tip at the ready, thrusting the end of her bone blade towards Sat’s heart; the lively young psychic stepping aside the knight repeated, plunging assault. “True prosperity must be yielded by wisdom to temper such a gift; to realize its utility in more than just raw force. If youth is wasted on the young, then such power is wasted on the foolish.”

The knight then attempt to slash at the young lady among her sidestepping retreat; Satette in turn continues to step aside and going with her foe’s swing and slips right behind her. But just as Satette was about to strike at the back of her foe’s neck, the heavenly knight ducks down as she plunges her rapier into the earth once more; her dark green power commanding the dead buried underneath this soil to burst forth and strike against the lively psychic. Satette suffers from a flurry of blows against a few of the risen zombies, until the knight of death merges their bodies into a giant amalgamation. The undead monstrosity simply takes a single swipe at the young lady to send her hurdling into the wall, the impact of which knocks over the body parts of the undead resting along the shelves.

“The struggle of life and death exists within every creature on this planet. To overcome the fear of awaiting doom is to truly live, to bask in the splendor and glory of life.” Among overhearing elderly knight’s speech, Satette’s eyes are drawn to a piece of decomposed body that had fallen off the shelves behind her; her attention drawn to the little white maggots that crawl out from the ripped part of the limb. “If you wish to not to die in this pit of despair, then you must show me your will to live; show me you have it in you to face the destiny we must all cross, show me that you can face death and doom. The knight declares climbing atop the back of her fused undead.

“Tsk tsk tsk. Even after how far you two have came with my guidance, you still plunge yourselves into the sins of the wicked. Truly have I never felt such disappointment before.” Father Estabon remorse, plucking the psychic stone off the floor. “It pains me to see my little lambkins stray from the true path after all I’ve done for them.” Upon peering to the two mobster than had dared invaded his office, Monty cautiously standing back for whatever he may do, the good father’s attention is baited to the other behind him; the man dressed in purple clutching his head as he lets out painful and strained grunts. “Oh, no no no no; this is rather an awkward predicament. Of all the one’s I’ve had stumbled upon, I never suspected he to be destined to evolve.” “Evolve. The hell do you mean by that?” “My child. Allow me to demonstrate.” the good father offers, a bright holy aura casting out from the palm of his hand.

This golden glow start to take the form of a figure as it slowly nears the pair of mobster; Monty preparing for whatever their holier than thou foe had conjure, all until he see what the glowing figure forms into. Approaching him be the image of his former lover, Harley, her voluptuous body left bare and naked before the mobster; a confident smirk stretching across the light bending psychic, preparing to snap his finger at the image of his lover and stating that: “What, this again? Hate to break it to you, but I know an illusion when I see-” Before the light leader could even so much as finish his confident denial, the conjured figure of Harley steps up to him wrap him in her loving embrace; leaning in further for a passionate kiss.

It was unbelievable what sensations Monty was feeling as the image of his former lover held him in her hand, her arm and hand smoothly caressing him; Harley lips softly pressing against his own, something that he had deeply missed for all these years they’ve been apart. Such inviting ecstasy drains the foundation of Monty’s defensive suspicion, slowly breaking down as he edges closer to holding her back. These hands, these lips, these eyes, this...feeling. How could this be...Is this...Is this really her? Is this really happening?

As the light leader is left hypnotized by the longing sensations that Harley finally fulfills for him, his violet partner peers up in the midst of his excruciating migraine to the two of them and discovers a terrible ploy held by his bosses lover; the image of Harley raising a dagger from behind her back to prepare and stab the light bender with. Despite the terrible headache continuing to pound against his head, Wedsle fights through the pain as he crawls along the floor and to his boss’ side; his purple aura surging as he reaches over to the woman’s ankle. The very moment that Wedsle lays a finger upon Harley does the holy power she is made from and the purple psychic’s own clash together, the image of his boss’s former lover bursting in a plume of golden and violet smoke.

When upon the conjured figure of his former lover vanishing in thin air, Monty opens his eyes once more to witness the dagger she had held in her other hand drop to the floor with a loud clang; the light leader looking to the weapon with disbelief before he raises his site to Estabon. The good father is left in utter disbelief of how rapidly one of his own holy creations had been swept away so easily; his glare growing feverishly worried as he looks down to the purple psychic beside the mobster’s ankles. “What in god’s name?”

Their holier than thou foe left astonished by the unexpected development, Monty takes the opportunity presented and quickly snatches up the purple psychic beside him; the light bender refracting the light inside the office to render them invisible to the naked eye. The good father’s surprised gaze deflates to a more serious glare as he locks his officer door behind him, strolling over to where his intruders once stood to pick up the dagger off the floor. “I know what you desire Monty; to bask in the warmth of a love you took for granted.” the father states, conjuring Harley and the man he speaks to. “You used to confide in me over the mistakes you had made in your youth and lament over what could have been if you held an ounce of maturity back then.” The image of both Monty and Harley then approach one another and wrap their arms around each other in a longing embrace. “The happiness you could have held, the future you could have lived, all of it you shared in your moment of deep sorrow and remorse.” The good father then conjures another held in between the image of the two, a child holding the hands of both; each of them holding a bright smile upon their faces. “Do you remember what I had advised to you back then, beyond the words of the lord? Pray to thee, my child. For the sorrows of the past can reflect the growth you hold in the future.” With a wave of his hand does the happy family dissolve into thin air, Estabon gazing throughout the room careful as he continues to claim how: “And may I say, Monty. You have truly prospered. I’m sure if Harley knew how well you’ve changed, she would see you in a far different light; perhaps even rekindle the spark you both had shared before.”

From the corner of the father’s office does a single tear falling in the middle of the air draws his attention, the pastor tosses his finely crafted knife towards where the tear had dropped from; the tip of the blade thrown hard enough to pierce through the ivory brick. Alas, the father fail to notice even a single drop of blood left upon the blade. Its in that moment that a distinct click reaches his ears and swiftly glances back to discover the lock of his door seemingly turning on its own; the hopeful father casting forth images of Monty and Harley to send them crashing straight through the door, knocking the real light leader and the purple psychic out from their illusion as Monty carries Wedsle atop his shoulder onto the hallway floor.

The two mobster knocked over by the blast of holy power, the good father dashes forth with incredible speeds to them; far faster than Monty could predict from the elderly pastor. The father’s speed be not the only surprise however, for in the cusp of his hands does Estabon conjure an elegantly crafted sword in the palm of his hands from his psychic power alone. With a mighty downwards slash, the holy father eviscerates the two of them with his hopeful blade; the slash powerful enough to leave behind a deep gash on the marble tile. Yet the great father’s victory reveals it to be not as the two he had cut down dissolve into particles of light, the facade fading away to uncover instead an explosive device underneath the veil; Estabon left astonished when sparks pull out from the device.

A powerful blast erupts from that end of the hall in a plume of smoke and flames; the other apostles racing down the hall towards where the explosion had come from. Rushing beyond the receding smoke and embers do the crowd of faithful peer through to discover a giant shield of glowing holieness that had been held against the midst of the blast, dissolving away into nothing and uncovering the righteous father. “Your holiness!” “Are you hurt anywhere?” “Rest assured, my children. I remained unharmed.” the father tells his worried disciples, rising from the charred marble. “Where did that explosion come from?” “It seems this assault to our home treads deeper then I realized. Those foul mobsters had sent a few of their own down through the labyrinth to attempt to put an end to my life.” “They made it through the maze!?” “No way. The heavenly knights would have stopped them.” “I’m afraid some of them have slipped through the cracks of our defenses.” the father claims. “We gotta find those bastards and make them pay for what they tried.” “No! They are far too strong and cunning for all of you to face. They use their gifts for sin and evil. I shall put an end to their mischief. I need all of you to rise overhead and help with the efforts above.” “But what above you. Is it wise to face these dastardly sinner’s yourself?” “Put your worry to rest child. So long as the people of this city hold me in their faithful eye, there is no earthly harm that can be inflicted upon me.” Estabon assures, slivers of golden light seeping out from his followers and drawn into him. “Of...course.” “Now, go. Aid those above us in fending off the wrathful sinners that assault our home.”

As the holy father had ordered them, the small army of apostles races through the ivory halls and leaves Estabon to search for the intruders to their sanctuary; peering around every corner for any sign of the two. Yet to their naked eyes does he fail to so much as see both Monty and Wedsle shrouded in bent light when peeking behind one of the halls, the two remaining invisible as the light leader carefully seats his pained subordinate down on the floor. Try as he might to remain quiet underneath his boss’ veil, the overwhelming headache he suffers from makes him let out agonizingly pained hisses from his clenched teeth; Wedsle clutching his forehead as Monty worries: “What’s wrong with you Weds?” “Head...Feels like it’s gonna explode.” “The hell did that fucking kid diddler mean when he said you were gonna “Evolve.” Like how what’s that even… Whatever it meant, he looked particularly worried when you destroyed his bullshit hope construct or whatever. Doesn’t matter anyway. We can’t stay here with you like this. Lets round up the other’s and make our retreat.” “No!” Weds objects among his strain. “Wedsle, your in no way to-” “We can’t just squander this opportunity we’ve worked so hard to get. If we don’t take it now, who know’s if we’ll ever have it again.”

“But with stone on his wrinkly pastor lookin ass? There’s not a chance in hell were getting it off him, especially with how powerful he is. The way his version of Harley touched and kissed me, it-it felt so real. She tasted exactly how I remembered her. If he can do that to me, who know’s what else he capable of making us experience. Even if the five if us gang up on the guy, I don’t know if we can fight against him.” “Maybe...hrnngg...But something stood out to me as he told off is little harem of choir boys. Something about him holding the hope of the people and all that virtuous shit. Think if we smear this guys image in the eyes of the people. He won’t be so holier then thou afterwards.” “Think that might be our best shot?” “It might our only shot. You happen to snap any damning pics while we were in his office?” “A couple. Don’t think it’ll be enough to incriminate the guy though. We knocking this guy off the social grace by tonight, we gotta dig for something bigger, and I don’t think the good father’ll be inclined to let us into his quarters again anytime soon.”

“Anything else...we could use.” “Son of a bitch has to has to sign off on the drug shipments he orders here. There might be some documents stashed somewhere with his cursive signature signed on the dotted line. Putting such damning pieces of evidence in his office would be too obvious. He might have it stashed somewhere in an office cabinet down here somewhere.” Monty surmises. “Then that’s where we’ll go look.” Wedsle claims under a painful groan. “Yo Weds, hold up. You sure you wanna keep doing this?” “We gotta keep doing this. Neither of us may never have another chance to get this close again.” the violet psychic urges, fighting through his pounding migraine as he continues down the hall; his worried light bending boss following after.

Finally left with some more room to dodge the bloody knights lacerating barbed wire whips, Frida climbs across the craters made against the golden wall, free from any crimson splattered across their surface. But among climbing out and shifting from hole to hole that the heavenly warrior finally lands a lashing slash against the dimensional psychic; the barbs of his whip brushing past her arm, the pain of which makes her fingers tighten and mistakenly fire her pistol towards the ceiling.

A terrifying fright overcomes Dophomate as the bullet she fired pierces through a couple of the bags of blood hanging above; the mere site of the precious bloody fluids being spilled causing the knight to scream: “No! No! NO! What have you done!?” The distressed holy knight frantically scuttles over to the pool of spilled scarlet and kneels down to see naught but the reflection of his panicked visage, staining his fingers in cold crimson whilst he desperately laps up what was left. “My essance! My precious ruby red! Spilt and soiled so barbarically!” Alas is the knight’s pleading efforts futile as the pool of blood sinks into the floor, the salt of his tears dripping against the stains left behind as an embittered growl seeps out from between his teeth. “How dare you. Do you realize how little your tainted swine blood compares to what you have so callously spilled? Do you!?” the knight barks to her, the seething bile in his voice taking the dimensional psychic back a tad. Its upon the vitriol in his voice that Frida takes another glance to the countless sacks of scarlet fluid hanging overhead; the couple of one’s she had shot through left empty and dripping with what little blood they have, giving her a devious idea. Maybe its time to pull a strat out from Wedsle’s playbook.

“Oh, you saying that I shouldn’t be doing this?” the dimensional psychic plays coy, twirling her pistols to take aim towards the sacks of blood. The mere site of his foe’s gun deliberately aimed towards his sacks of precious scarlet is enough to send the holy knight in a blood boiling rage, lashing his barbed whips towards the young woman that dares to threaten his bloody boon. Predicting this response does Frida leap out from the whips path to watch it continue towards a triangular torture device know as a Spanish donkey; the sheer force from the lashing whip splitting the wooden device in half. “Whoa, Nelly!” Feverishly does the heavenly knight lash out with his other whip to cast it again towards his intruder; Frida, next to a piece of the wall left fractured, merges into the bloodless hole in evading the cretin’s barbed wires. Hiding in the 2nd dimension of the crater, the barbs of her bloody foe’s whip just barely miss her.

As she emerges out from the wall, the dimensional psychic takes another shot to the dozens of blood bags that hang off across the wall; the blood knight coaxed into a rage when seeing the bullet pierce through several more sacks and spills more of his precious crimson red. “I said stop it!” the holy knight shrieks, casting booth of his bloodied whip towards the pistol wielding woman. Coming out from the wall just in the nick of time, Frida evades the knight’s whips as they scrape against the bloodied gold; again, popping off a couple more shots to the bags of blood above. “Aagh!”

“You know, I don’t really get why you’d stow away something so precious to you in the same place you fight. Seems a tad counter intuitive if your asking me.” “As if a rat bitch like you would know the sanctity of where we stand. Each of the knight’s must serve the apostles of the church in their own unique way, and these chambers hidden within the labyrinth are the best places for us to go about this sacred duty. The blood of my holy brothers and sisters are what hangs above us, spilled by the contraptions surrounding us throughout the years; their bodily essence chaining us to this earthly realm and hold us accountable to our place within it. Spilling their holy blood would be nothing short of blasphemy.” “Oh, so what your saying is I shouldn’t aim at them like this?” Frida cheekily asks, pointing her pistol towards the ceiling once more.

Before she could even pull the trigger, an enraged Dophomate swiftly lashes out against her and knocks the pistol right out of her hand; the swipe leaving behind a nasty scratch along her knuckles. Frida keeps moving as the knight continues to feverishly lash out against her, brushing past more and more of the torture devices in hopes of getting him caught on another one. Luckily does the cretins bloody barbed wires manage to catch themselves into another device, this time on the signature iron maiden; the holy knight constantly pulling at his whip as he struggle to free them from its clutches. From the depths of her denim jean jacket, the dimensional psychic pulls out an uzi and unloads its clip into the iconic device, attempting to break apart the device. Its upon this display that the bloody knight sees a chance to retaliate and jerks himself over towards the coffin as it was being fired upon; Frida quickly realizing what Dophomate was doing and cease fire, but can’t stop the few bullets already fired. Racing over to the device does the bloody knight stand in the way of those loose few shots and in turn has makes the gun woman take the heat of her own ammo, with bullet holes bursting out from her shoulder and leg, Frida gritting her teeth as she refuses to let out any pained outcry.

“As if I’ll let you pull that on me again.” he taunts, casting forth his barbed whip against her. Yet upon dropping down to the floor does the whip barely grazes past the gun woman, lashing past her and wrapping to the top of a rack holding dozens of other small torture gadgets. Rather than attempt to unravel his gadgets out from the rack, the heavenly knight jerks back to dislodge the clean wooden bar off the wall and towards the dimensional psychic; Frida quickly glancing back just in time to notice the entire plank. But instead of trying to dodge the incoming rack does she opt instead to merge into it, phasing her body into its unstained oak as it brushes against her; Dophomate in turn casting the bar into the wall and shattering it to pieces. The holy knight is left puzzled as he finds not a sign of his flat plane traveling foe popping out from under the shattered wood.

Soon enough though, the bloody knight attention is drawn over when his ears catch a whistle and looks over to discover the intruder waving to him with one hand and aiming her uzi to the ceiling with the other. “Don’t you dare.” he threatens to her. With a sly smile though, Frida unleashes what was left of her gun’s clip towards the ceiling and into the blood bags hanging above, the barrage of bullets piercing through most of the sacks of crimson and spilling the sacred scarlet onto the floor. The site of his precious plasma fluid pouring down from above is enough to compelling Dophomate into chasing after her in another fit of fiery rage; unaware of one of his barbed wire whips still snagged on the iron maiden.

Frida in turn sprints away from the charging bloody cretin as he pursues her with raging fervor, the holy knight proving faster than she expected as he flails his barbed wire cover arms at her; the gun woman shields herself from her foe’s advances with the top of her guns. Her bond driven foe’s constant assault swiftly drives her against the blood caked wall, gazing up in hopes of finding an escape from Dophomate’s continuing advance; failing to find any holes among the crimson caked coated gold. Their proves to be some silver linings in the wall’s however as she spots several scratches left behind from the holy knight’s missed lashes. There! The gun toting psychic discards her other pistol as she makes a leap for one of the gashes left in the wall, phasing her fingers into the 2nd dimension of the small, but clean scratches. Can’t entirely phase into these, but there’s just enough space to squeeze my fingers in.

From what little scratches left along the scarlet soaked walls, Frida quickly climbs her way up towards the ceiling; again aiming her firearms towards what bloody bags where left hanging above. Just when she was about to pull the trigger however, one of the knights whips wraps around her arm and jerks her uzi’s aim away from the sacks; Dophomate jerking her arm down and forcing her to aim at him, forcing Frida to cease fire. “What are you waiting for, woman? Trigger finger stop itching?” Among her struggle to free herself from the holy knight barbed binds, she notices the bloody cretins other whip still caught against the iron maiden; these details letting her see an opportunity to finally finish this fight.

The holy knight is left perplexed as he watches his intruder tosses aside her semi auto pistol and clutches his whips sharp length; constantly pulling more and more of her foe’s wire and jerking the holy knight towards her. The holy knight’s skinny frame doesn’t lie as Frida easily tugs at him with relative ease, pulling the bloody bastard further up towards her; Dophomate struggling is vain as he’s slowly lifted off the blood soaked floor. “What!? What manner of retaliation is this!?” he yells at her.

Wrapping up more and more of the holy knight’s lacerating whip around her arm, Frida continues to jerk at him and continues to pull him up; the holy knight himself being not what ails the dimensional psychic in her struggle though. In addition to tugging the bloody cretin towards her does she also pull in the iron maiden behind him; their combined weight making the barbed wire enveloped around her arm cut through her skin. More of the dimensional psychic’s crimson drips along the blood stained steel of the knight’s whip, Dophomate letting out an amused chuckle out from his snarky glare, taunting that: “How amusing. You’re hoping my thin frame makes me easy to snap in two? Well, your hopes are in vain. The blood coursing through me is a bond of which you cannot severe with meager brute force alone. I shall not fall apart no matter how much you pull.”

More of the gun woman’s own scarlet fluids run down across the lacerating steel enveloping her arms as she struggles to pull the holy knight up; Dophomate letting out a satisfied shutter as her blood touches his own limbs: claiming that: “Ah, the hue of your own blood tells me far more than you can ever acclaim. Such scarlet holds stories of betrayal and struggle, issues of trust and acceptance. It shocks me you have the will to go on after such hardship.” “Can you shut the hell up, for one minute!” Frida demands, jerking the guy and iron maiden up with a mighty heave.

The famous and iconic torture device is dragged across the floor with every pull Frida makes; the metal scrapping across the floor reverberating throughout the chamber, a shrilling noise of which finally makes the holy knight glare down to notice. “Ha ha ha ha, the blood loose must finally be effecting your mind. Do you honestly believe that you hold enough strength to heave both me and this contraption up?” “No…Lifting your blood obsessed bitch ass up was just the half of it. This is the other!” Upon these words does the dimensional psychic whips the holy knight’s own barbed wires away to toss him back and send him hurdling down towards the open iron maiden; Dophomate feeling the pain of the spikes digging into his back as he drops inside.

This pain makes him finally realize the intruder’s intentions in pulling him up so high; twas only a ploy to lead him to his doom at the hands of his own contraptions. “No.” Glancing up towards his dimensional foe, the knight bares witness to her whirling the whip around the door of the iconic torture device and start to pull the wires back. “No!” His back left too lodged into the devices spikes, the bloody knight could only lay and watch as Frida start to close upon him; the light of the room slinking away from him as the lid drops down. “NO!” A loud metallic clang echoes across the chamber as the lid of the iron maiden finally closes, leaving behind only silence as a pool of blood starts to form underneath the iron death coffin; Frida letting out a relieved sigh as she starts to climb down off the wall.

With the fight finally having come to a close, the dimensional psychic strolls over to where her guns had dropped as she unravels the piece of barbed wire from her arm. When reaching out for her dropped uzi, Frida finally sees the lacerations and cuts left behind in her little tug of war stunt; what remained of the demin of her sleeve left soaked in her own secreting red. Oh...Oh shit. Ain’t a good idea to keep going like this. Better cover it up with something. That in mind, the gun woman swiftly slips off her jacket, Frids wrapping what was left of it around her arm to stop anymore of her blood from leaking out; her scarlet red staining the blue denim’s fabric. It’ll have to work for now. Wrapping up her cut plague arm up with her jacket, Frida is drawn over to the side to see one of the walls opening up to grant her passage deeper into the labyrinth; the crimson glow of the chamber breaking away from the dark halls waiting ahead. Whelp, better not keep the other’s waiting.

When landing back on his feet is Thursotte left taken aback, discovering the bubbles that he had returned back to his sender simply sticking to the holy knight’s body; not one of them threatening to pop against him. “Come now, did you sincerely believe that sicking my own bubbles upon me was a strategy that would work? Surely you understand now why I’m not called the knight of the bubble for nothing. These pockets of trapped air are under my beck and call, it would take more than a pitiful gust of wind to-” The knight braggadocios prattling ceases when looking upon his foe and discovering them holding the very iron hoop that had knocked the fan out from his hand; Galid letting out a worried breath as Thurs readies to toss it at him. “No, Stop!” he shrieks, yet is too late as Thursotte tosses the iron hoop at him like a throwing frisbee and can only brace himself for whatever terror is unleash from his own bubbles.

As soon as the hoops iron so much as grazes against the surface of one of the knight’s bubbles, a burst of confetti comes bursting out from under its membrane; the heavenly knight’s guard relaxing as he sees the pieces of party paper come fluttering down around him. “Well, it seems your little on the fly plan to use my great powers against me have backfired. Rest assured that you did give me quite the scare. That I commend at the very least. Still that unpredictability of yours could be quite the bother in the future. I think it best we end this charade soon, don’t you agree?” the holy warrior claims, unaware of the confetti launch fluttering down to the other bubbles stuck to his body. “I think so, to.” Thursotte responds with a grin. A piece of confetti lands upon one and the bubble’s membrane burst open to unleash a brunt impact upon him, with more pieces of party paper falling onto his bubbles and popping them in succession and inflicting a different kind of pain against the knight with every pop. Slashes, flames, explosions, frost, stabs, punches and kicks; every sort of damage one could inflict upon a single person does he suffer from with every bubble popped. Thurs slowly standing back as the knight suffers through the folly of his own arrogance.

Once the last soapy white bubble that was attached to the knight had been popped, Thursotte peeks back to find Galid left battered, cut, beaten, burned, and frosted from the wrath of his own psychic powers; the young man letting out a disappointed tsk before guessing how: “Me thinks you’ve never had to suffer against the brunt of you own power before. Never thinking that the very gift you had could ever blow up in your face? Well, guess what. That’s something that I gotta live with, constantly worrying that if I have to use my powers, I’d wind you hurting myself, or even worse somebody close to me. I hated the overwhelming worry having to use them constantly bring me. Maybe that’s why I’m more anxiety than a person nowadays, that was until I got some advice from a friend a week ago. Told me to stop trying to go with the chaos and not try and control it, take advantages of opportunities of whatever they do and work from there. And you know what, I think I’m finally understanding what she meant. Instead of seeing the chaos my powers cause as a detriment, I could see them as more opportunities; I guess its more about how you use your gift that matters. You get what I’m saying?” At the end of his self reflecting monologue, Thurs glares back to the holy knight of the bubble to ask his input; but can’t even let out a word as he’s barely left standing. Oh, of course you can’t. Your barely conscious. Oh well, better just move on and find the exit out of this tacky dump.

The sound of scrapping stone reaching his ears, the young man peers back to witness a part of the wall opening up to reveal a corridor leading into the rest of the labyrinth. Oh...Well that’s...ominously convenient. Best tread carefully here. But when upon attempting to take another step does it become clear how much punishment Thursotte had took; a throbbing pain surging throughout half of his body when so much as moving. Ahh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh god! Ooooh Man! Guess-guess the adrenaline is wearing off...Agh! All the bruises, burns, and cuts the poor young man had been inflicted with nearly make him fall to his knee’s; Thurs’ legs quaking as he struggles to keep himself on his feet. No matter how much his body tells him to lay down and rest, the chaos triggering psychic refuses to even so much as kneel; keeping himself standing as he hobbles towards the corridor. I can’t let this slow me down, not when there’s still work to be done. Everyone else is giving it their all, breaking through this place to get back the stone; I can’t let them down...Not after everything they’ve done for me.

Pieces of tombstones and graves are sent flying as the cobbled together fusion of countless undead swings its hefty limbs against Satette; the lively psychic racing through the holy knight’s chamber as the giant punches through the dozens of graves. Among her fleeting dash evading the huge undead made from dozens of fused bodies, Sat snatches up one of the remains still left infused with the knight’s deathly power and chucks it out towards the giant; the undead catching the piece of flesh in the palm of its massive hand. “It doesn’t matter what remains you attempt to wield against me. Only I hold domain over the dea-” Before the knight of death could finish declaring this such to the young lady, she sees a bright light seeping out from between her giant’s fingers; perplexs over the intense glow before the hand of her monster suddenly bursts apart in an explosion of light and dark green.

Upon the aftermath of the volitile burst of power, both the psychic of life and death are left astonishingly perplexed over what and how could have just transpired; the heavenly knight left shocked as she looks to her challenger and demands to know: “What manner of manipulation did you just do?” A question that Satette herself ponders over, that is until she starts to recollect what had transpired in the catacombs of the graveyard; the lively psychic thinks back to when she had attempted to use her powers on the undead down there, only for them to violently explode. Its then that she remembers what her boss had mentioned to her about that particular phenomenon:

“Some psychic powers don’t really play nice with each other, particularly those that control naturally opposing forces. When those kinds of powers are forced to clash, they violently deny each other’s presence and go off in a psychic induced explosion.”

That’s right. How the hell could I have forgotten? Opposite psychic powers don’t mix. Those zombies in the catacombs back then came from her. With my powers controlling life and her’s controlling death, both of them combined are just explosives waiting to go off. It doesn’t matter if I can’t manipulate dead body parts, infusing my powers into them should be enough to practically turn them into grenades against this giant jackass. It’s risky, but it might just be the edge I need to turn the knight’s lumbering oaf into giblets.

Some parts of a game plan pieced together, Satette makes a dashing sprint across the chamber for the other misplaced body parts spread across the graves; filling the lifeless giblets with her lively essence and chucking them at the undead golem. As soon as the flung pieces of rotten meat and bone make contact with the giant’s body, they violently burst in a powerful psychic explosion; the blast strong enough to blow chunks off the heavenly knight’s behemoth. Try as Cadna may to maneuver her lumbering giant away from the incoming psychic bombs, the humongous zombie proves far too large to evade the lively young woman’s lobbing giblets as the giant starts being reduced to slabs of corpses; the knight of death hopping off her creations back while she’s still in one piece. With the holy knight’s giant reduced to nothing but chunks, she glares out beyond the giblets of her former golem to witness her lively foe standing before its remains; Cadna brandishing her bone rapier as she dashes forth against her.

When narrowly evading the knight’s thrusting blade, Satette throws out a swift punch against her deathly foe’s armor; the hardened bone marrow its made from proving as strong as steel against her bare knuckles. Despite this however, Satette refuses to be discouraged and dodges the knight’s sharp slashes, this time ducking down to try and deliver a sweeping kick against Cadna’s legs; the bone guards covering her shins letting the knight endure the low blow.

With the lively psychic on the evasive, the deathly knight opts to plunge her weapon into the earth and cast her aura through the soil causing several rotting bodies to burst out from the earth underneath her foe; the numerous undead stopping Satette right in her tracks as all of them clutch their deathly cold grasps throughout her body. Dislodging her rapier out from the soil, Cadna marches to her ensnared intruder with tight grip to her weapon, proclaiming that: “Though it puzzles me how you manage to cause the destruction of my undead golem, it matters not now. You shall be joining them along with the rest down here soon enough.” Trapped upon the clutches of the holy knight’s army, Sat is left to only endure as the deathly psychic slashes her bone made blade against her soft flesh; the sword ripping through the young woman’s clothes as a gash his left across her chest. Before she could get herself together from the painful swipe, Cadna makes another swing across the lively psychic’s body; Sat letting out a painful outcry as another cut is left along her lower midsection. Among suffering from the slashing assault, Satette glares up from her seething pain to behold her deathly foe preparing for the final blow; the knight aiming the tip of her rapier to her head and thrusting forth towards the entrapped young woman.

Meager moments before the tip of her weapon could be plunged into her foe’s heart, the holy knight is left suddenly frozen as an immense pain courses through her body; Cadna backing away from the lively psychic as her entire body unexplained trembles from the overwhelming tension from within. “Gah!...My-my insides...feel like they’re burning. I-” In the midst of this unexpected and sudden bout of internal agony, the knight’s cheeks swiftly swell as tears run down her face, opening her mouth to expel a mixture of vomit and blood out from her bowels. Its when glaring down to the puddle of her own bile that the knight is left astonished of what squirms among the mix of scarlet and dirty yellow, finding little maggots crawling out from the pile. “What!?” The knight’s attention is drawn to her trapped foe when Sat lets out a satisfied breath, relieved of the fact that: “It’s about time those little bugger’s started doing their job; and at the last second too, way to keep a lady waiting.”

“I-I don’t understand. What manner of sorcery is this? What did you do to me!?” Cadna demands to know. “Jeez, and I thought looking down in your own vomit, it’d be obvious at this point. Right now, burrowing their way through your nutrient filled body, dozens and dozens of maggots are chewing on your organs like a fat bastard at an all you can eat buffet.” “But that doesn’t...When would have-” “Those little larva are hella small, basic, and easy to control. They can practically squeeze their little bodies into whatever small cracks they can crawl into. Even say, the gaps of someone’s armor?” This hint is all the heavenly knight needs to realize how her lively foe had planted such unnoticeable creatures upon her person, thinking back to the seemingly futile strikes against her hard bone marrow armor moments ago; Sat having planted the tiny bugs upon each of impact. “Don’t really if the little guys have it in them to do you in, but it’s obvious to see them doing a helluva good job slowing you down.”

“This doesn’t make sense! How many more creatures did you smuggle down here!?” “That snake you turned to ribbons was really all I had. Thought for sure with my only means of fighting back, I’d be doomed. But all the running around got my blood pumping and my head thinking; there wasn’t anything else down here that was alive other than you and me. No rats, no plants, nothing I could immediately use against you. But then it hit me. There was still something among us that was still alive and kicking, something that fed off corpse!” This statement again makes the holy knight think back to what had transpired among their fight, remembering even further back to when she had been running from her giant’s lumbering swings; the giblets that the young lady had scooped up to toss at her golem, Satette had commanded the maggots held within to retreat before she lobbed them.

“And you ain’t the only thing I got them feeding on!” the lively psychic declares, pulling at the limbs that bind her. Among the arms exposed flesh do countless other larva feast upon their muscle tissue, weakening their clutches against the woman they hold. Their strength literally eaten away, Satette breaks apart the undead limbs that hold her up with ease; the lively young psychic landing back on her feet as the knight gets back on her own.

Despite the maggots eating away at her inside, the old knight lunges forth with bone rapier at the ready; Cadna left slowed from her internal injuries as Sat step aside the thrust of her blade. Grasping one of the broken off bones left picked clean of flesh, the lively psychic plunges the tip of the discarded bone into the guard of the knight’s blade and; the holy warrior keeping a tight grip upon her weapon as Sat tries to pull it away. When the knight attempts to swing her free hand at her to try and fight her off, the lively psychic catches Cadna clenched fist before she could strike; Satette struggling to break the rapier out from the death controlling warrior’s grasp and keep her back. “Even in my crippling age, I still have enough in me to hold a dozen men back. You sincerely believe you can overpower a knight like myself?” Cadna questions, beginning to push back against her. “I don’t need to. I already got the opening I was looking for.” she proclaims.

Out of the blue does Satette bashes the top of her head into the knight exposed face, the impact of which staggering Cadna back and causing her to loose grasp of her weapon; the rapier flung up into the air above the two. While Sat makes a bounding leap up to the blade above, her foe is left struggling to see as maggots are left crawling across her face and squirming in her eyes. “My eyes!” shrieks Cadna Grasping at the handle of the airborne blade, Satette delves down towards the knight as the maggot she had sicked upon her are wiped away. But by the time the heavenly warrior had cast aside the unexpected swarm of larva off her, it was far too late as Satette plunges the tip of her blade deep into the side of her neck and down through the rest of her body.

Leaving her foe’s own blade plunged deep into the knight’s body, Satette leaps off the holy warrior and steps back as Cadna falls to her knee’s; streaks of blood leaking out from the deathly psychic open maw as she lets out a pained moan. A hefty sigh seeps out from the lively psychic’s own mouth, knowing at last, the fight was over. From her relief can she hear the sound of scrapping stone beside her and glances over to see part of the wall opening up, revealing an open corridor into the rest of the maze; her ticket in finally making out of these stench riddled chamber.

But upon taking the first step though, the young woman’s skin crawls as she hears a raspy chuckle come from behind and turns back to discover the heavenly knight left alive despite her gruesome injuries. “Holy shit! Your still kicking!?” Sat exclaims. “Young lady. A knight of my stature and experience is meant to endure far more punishment than this. It would take the might of a greater power to truly claim my life. Still, from the way things look here...you clearly have won. So I allow you audience with his holiness.” the knight grants, blood dripping out from her mouth as she speaks. “Gee, thanks. But...you ain’t in any shape to even talk. Why bother?” “Because this must be said. The strategy and creativity you’ve displayed to me are truly astounding; very rarely have I witness gift’s, especially those with incredible potential, be pushed so far as you have demonstrated. Even having been cornered and stripped of your defenses in a deathly hollow such as this, you still held true and found slivers life among the dead; heralding the circle of life as your weapon.”

At last does Cadna succumb to her injuries and finally falls, her face buried into the dirt. Sat backs away as the hands of the dead emerge out from the ground and drag the holy knight down into the depths of the earth, leaving behind nothing but a patch of disturbed soil. “Continue to survive the ordeals ahead, and there’s not a doubt in my mind of you holding the power to steer the course of fate and change the future of this world.” her voice echoes through the chamber. After keeping her eyes glued to the dirt the knight disappeared in for a few steps, Satette finally turns back to the open corridor and proceeds down into the dark depths ahead; the psychic left clutching at the gashes across her chest as she heads forth.

#lillaxtrigger #street smarts #original writing

0 notes

darspeaksout · 2 years

Text

“Take It Personally”

I did not buy this tie for these stank ass bitches’ eyes

I bought this tie ‘cuz I love Hermès and that’s the only reason why

Went to school, wrote some poems, made some money, I’m on my grind

Saw what I wanted, went and got it, I am living my best life

Received the energy that I put out, and the energy is luxury

From the fragrances to the people in my life, it’s all top notch quality

Got players on my team, doesn’t matter if you don’t fuck with me

Funny how these haters think I’ll listen as if

Their names are Tom Ford, Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, or Brunello Cucinelli

If you ever got the feeling that I didn’t like you

You’re probably right

Please take it personally

These bashers want to chat

Straight shooter, I don’t do sneak attacks

I spill tea and I spit facts

You spill tears and think you’re all that

On your high horse, on your power trip

If my post offended you it means the shoe fits, so tie up those laces

It’s obvious when I don’t like someone, you can skip the guesswork

Inside a sweetheart, outside a bitch, they don’t test me, I guess my approach worked

Want a problem? Take your shot

I’m that bitch you never want to cross

Set a time and a place, and I will roll up

Receipts in the bag, I will pop off

Look at me still standing after having taken several hits

Every bad bitch knows

It’s not about what happens to you but how you deal with it

This year

I hit sky highs, you hit record lows

I battled uphill, you settled for a standstill

I made moves and you decided to sit still

Even when I get to that throne I’ll choose to keep standing, still

You look real small down there as I sip this tea from my windowsill

Now I know who’s got my back and who’s just there for a tea spill

After challenge, there is growth

That’s why I thank the universe for every problem that came my way

Every knife in my back I have removed, thrown, and practiced my aim

Now I throw knives as a hobby, you are Azula and I am Mai

Suki's dress so itchy, been wearing it all day

Come help me get this off and don't cover Zuko's face

Fuck that wall sludge juice, I am not one to obey

Betray my own nation, no, I’m not afraid

Took down Omashu and now Ba Sing Se

When I said, “no offense,” this is what I meant to say –

Please take it personally

When I

Roll my eyes and kiss my teeth

Walk right past you and leave you on “seen”

I will just ignore you, sweetie, you’re not worth a scene

If I don’t acknowledge you, chances are

You gave me good reason to distance myself

I’m much happier when I’m far

From people

Who put me down and say I can’t do it

Are the same people who procrastinate, binge watch Netflix, and have zero ambition

I ran the track and made the distance, you’re still stuck tying your shoelaces

I only take criticism from people who are competent

But if it’s from a nobody, one hundred percent they just lack confidence

I don't need a shooting star, a miracle, or a wish

Don't need a man to take my dreams and make sure they happen

Don't need official status, favoritism, or friends in high places

All I need is myself and a vision, and then I manifest it

I’m here to be me, not to level the playing field

If you think it’s unfair, go play on another field

Zero posts, I don’t fabricate, it’s all reels

My designer and my character are both real

Fuck with my clique, just know that I’m their shield

Did some inventory of the people in my life –

Took out the trash, sent them to the landfill

Extra with my attitude but with clothes I’m a minimalist

The aesthetic is elegant but the personality is ratchet

Ask to bury the hatchet and I’ll dig it back up ‘cuz I’m a savage

I don’t care to make nice nor to look past our differences

‘Cuz I’m different, sis, and you’re a basic bitch

Stank ass breath from talking all that shit

Brush your teeth and go see the dentist

I cannot hear your diss through your whack ass childish lisp

It just comes out like “hiss” when you try to string a sentence

I just made Dean’s list, and just won a scholarship

Holding my Holt Renfrew bag, you can wonder what’s inside it

Did you think you’d land a hit when you stepped on my shit?

Keep landing L’s and flunking your assignments

If I am your target then make sure you don’t miss

‘Cuz the bitch tried to walk all over me and she tripped

Big mouth, small brain

Narrow mind, wide face

Never positive, gossiping always

Go back to driving school, get the fuck out my lane

They tried to say hello but I told those bitches, “bye”

When I see snake behavior, I make a mental note and keep it on file

Apparently hating on a boss like me has been the classic style

You may slither like a snake, but I bite like a crocodile

Took a trip to Hermès and got the Garden on the Nile

You buy luxury once in a lifetime

I buy luxury, it’s my lifestyle

I’m doing well, you’re doing ... time?

Damn, that view of your jail cell made me lose my appetite

I can't relate cuz I'm free -

It's just me and Ty Lee, we don't need the Dai Li

Inside the Upper Ring, what ever happened to Joo Dee?

Did my skincare routine, don't age like Lo and Li

You can have my brother and we'll keep Bumi

They say, "teach me," I say join the Academy

I can tell you skipped math class 'cuz you miscalculated, see

I know Sokka's gay, always talking about meat

If Iroh spilled tea then take it personally

After Ozai's defeat he can join the peasantry

Just follow my lead, Blue Spirit in these dark streets

Mess with La and Tui, and you mess with me

If Toph doesn't stop then Mai's got beef

Looks like Zuko forgot to change his bed sheets

It's Melon Lord at the end versus all these enemies

If you are human and can breathe, then take it personally

When you made me feel less than a person

I became the person I was meant to be

Lit a fire underneath my ass, now I’m the hottest, I’m who they want to see

They must think I’m a screen ‘cuz they project their insecurities

Bitch, I’m the dream, you can watch me from your phone screen

All I did was mind my business and they decided we had beef

All I did was exist and people took it personally

Peace out

- dg

#poetry #diss

1 note · View note

primofate · 3 years

Text

Genshin Volleyball Dream Team [Volleyball Team AU - Inspired by Haikyuu!] Introduction Headcanons

Notes: Guess who started watching Haikyuu! FML As if I didn’t have enough things to do I decided to fall in love with like 5 different volleyball teams with an average of 10 players.

I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m sorry.

Scenario: What if the Genshin boys were a volleyball team?

In the next part: How would it be working as their manager? What if someone hits on you? What if some girl fans bully you? Also, how would it be to date a Genshin volleyball superstar?

Other works in the Volleyball Team AU Series: Click Here

If you’re not familiar with volleyball (or Haikyuu) here’s a link explaining what each position in the team does.

Team Genshin

Team Colours: Blue

What the team banner reads: Spike them out of this world!

#1 Zhongli (Captain/Wing Spiker/Ace)

The rock and pillar of the team

Has a strict looking face but amicable most times. Except for when you’re late for training then run. Just run.

Anyone who skips training will feel his wrath in the form of extra 10 laps around the gym

If you joined the volleyball team, to him, you’ve basically signed a contract to COMMIT to the volleyball team. No questions asked. Sissies aren’t allowed here.

If anyone in the team is misbehaving e.g. teasing another team he’s the one who pushes your head down and apologizes for you. “Apologies about this one, he gets way too excited,”

Doesn’t let failure stop him. Tries to keep it together for the team.

Obviously has a lot of fans but they’re too intimidated to approach him.

#2 Diluc (Vice Captain/Wing Spiker/Defense Specialist)

strong but silent type

serious about the game

doesn’t talk much but his volleyball game is STRONG

because he doesn’t look like much, opponents are SHOOK when he spikes with a big loud SMACK

Doesn’t brag a lot. His victory cheer is just a simple fist pump.

Will call the shots and sets if needed

Socially kinda awkward

Also has a lot of fans, everyone in the team has a lot of fans but he gets the most love letters in the locker type of thing.

Nicknamed Silent Burn cause of his intense stare and passion while playing.

#3 Kaeya (Middle Blocker)

Diluc’s totally opposite brother

Not as serious as Diluc in the game but has a particular talent for it

loves to tease and talk crap about other teams (Zhongli reels him in almost every time)

Don’t let him fool you though, his block game is an iron wall and there’s no getting past him unless you’re quicker.

Possibly the one that skips training the most

Nicknamed Ice Wall cause you think you got the ball past him, you see the cracks, but he pushes back two times stronger

Got the type of fans that are SQUEALING his name and he fuels them by waving back at them.

#4 Albedo (Setter)

Genius. A formidable addition to the team.

Has precise calculations of where he should direct the ball and to whom.

Silent type, a bit like Diluc, but talks more because he likes discussing with others what was wrong with his set and how he can improve it.

Experiments with the other members on different types of sets and attacks.

What he lacks in height he makes up for with intelligence.

Doesn’t have a lot of fans because he looks arrogant but the ones he have are pleasant ones that just lurk around the gym and doesn’t say much. Maybe snapping a picture of him but okay I would too.

#5 Tartaglia (Middle Blocker/Wing Spiker)

Probably the one that’s most energetic and shouts whenever they get a point.

You have to wonder where the hell his energy and drive is coming from.

The one that shouts praises to his team “Nice one!” “Gotcha!” “Take that!” and also the one that provokes the opponents a lot. “Come get it!” “Come on, you can do better than that!” Zhongli is always hovering around him cause someone has to CALM this man-childe down.

Obnoxiously confident.

Is tall so makes a good middle blocker but he’s fast as well.

Loves competing. Like, he LIVES for the competition.

Fans are basically the same as Kaeya’s, loudly cheering for him.

#6 Kazuha (Decoy/Middle Blocker/Wing Spiker)

The first thing that everyone notices about him is that he’s SHORT. How did he make the volleyball team?

Bitch he can FLY. His jumps rivals that of a middle blocker’s height.

Surprise attacks are his thing cause the opponents don’t see or think he’s coming at all.

Possibly the quickest in the team, him and Xiao. The wind is on their side.

Looks calm and collected all the time but inside he’s yearning for the game. Giving up is not in his dictionary.

Has fans that will give him chocolates but he’s the type to only say thank you and bow politely and nothing else. Maybe a small smile.

#7 Xiao (Libero)

Also short, but his reflexes are top-notch, making him a powerful libero.

When you think all is lost and the ball is about to hit the ground Xiao’s there to catch it. 90% of the time. He’s still training the 10%.

Looks up to the captain A LOT. Like he’s Xiao’s role model and possibly the reason that he tries and trains so hard.

Takes it hard when he can’t catch a ball and has a high sense of responsibility. Even if the team keeps on saying it’s not his fault.

Stoic face but the exhilaration he feels during a game sends him off to a high.

Possibly has the most fans out of everyone because all them high school girls love the bad boy look and attitude. Possibly also has those fans that chase him around and when he says “Don’t get in the way,” the fans legit squeal and love him more.

Does not understand why he has a lot of fans. He just loves the game.

#8 Tohma (Pinch Server/Middle Blocker)

Sweet, sweet boy. Boy-next-door type of vibes.

Can talk to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you’re a rival or an opponent he somehow manages to talk everyone up and make friends everywhere he goes.

Because of that his fans also love talking to him and he doesn’t know how to turn them down.

Joined the volleyball team late so he hasn’t had as much practice as the others but works hard on it.

Motivates the team. Good at boosting team morale even though the score is really crap.

Will keep cheering until his voice is hoarse

Overall 10/10 perfect nice guy

Not tagging anyone cause this may not be your thing. But I’m planning to make a series of headcanons that revolve around this AU :D

Please do consider supporting me at my ko-fi! I’ve fixed the payment link so I think you can love me more now <3 (haha jk, it’s optional, but it would greatly help and make me happy!)

https://ko-fi.com/primofate

Masterlist

https://primofate.tumblr.com/post/653296890583154688/masterlist-for-mobile-version-main-links

Taglist (Want to be notified when something new comes out? Sign up!):

https://forms.gle/VZmJXQssHcv7YzQc6

#haikyuu genshin crossover #genshin au #genshin volleyball au #genshin headcanons #zhongli x reader #albedo x reader #kazuha x reader #tohma x reader #tartaglia x reader #xiao x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader

1K notes · View notes

ineffably-good · 4 years

Text

Prompt: Home

This is part of the Good Omens 30th Anniversary celebration prompts! Click here to go read all of the ones I’ve completed on AO3.

Summary: Aziraphale realizes something important about the concept of home on the night before they switch bodies. My imagining of a missing conversation.

_________________________

The Garden was home, first. Not for long, of course – he barely had a week in it, then another little while closing it up. But the right place has a way of seeping into your soul no matter how long you are in it. He had seen it over the years, Aziraphale thought – that certain feeling you get walking into a set of rooms or a library or a small shop where some ineffable combination of elements just curled up inside you immediately and took residence. Was it the light, the warmth, the combination of colors, a particular pleasant smell or inviting hearth? Whatever it was, the heart happily murmurs the word ‘home’ in its presence, and it is never mistaken.

It was years after the Garden before he felt it again. He had many places he sheltered, and some of them he cared for very much, but the true homes were fewer – one in Ninevah, a simple hut but one which suited him very dearly. One in Thebes with its warm breezes and love of learning. A fresco-painted monastic cell in Rome, before he was forbidden re-entry to the Vatican ever again. (And believe him, that still rankled.) A gamekeeper’s cottage in the North of what was now England. A hut in the Bavarian woods. A very small handful of others throughout the ages. He could still recall each of them in fond detail, despite the long or short length of time he had stayed in each.

But honestly, he’d never been in one as long as he had been in the bookshop. Over two hundred years in one place? It was a luxury he’d never dreamed of. Empires rose and fell in that kind of timespan. Wars were fought and won, kings and queens came and went, neighbors lived, neighbors died, and somehow Aziraphale was still there. Inside the same four walls, under the same glass rotunda, living his life. He’d never grown so attached to a place.

Which meant, of course, that it made him vulnerable; he had something to lose, something very valuable, and if his enemies were clever (which fortunately, they rarely were), they had a place to hit him where it would hurt very badly.

It didn’t happen until the almost apocalypse, and then he wasn’t even around to see it. It was up to Crowley to break the news to him, twice. It hardly penetrated the first time. “It burned down,” the demon said to him.

“All of it?” he said, brought up short -- but then there was the discovery that the book had survived, and the need to find a body and stop the end of the world, and that was the end of that. He didn’t think about it again for what felt like days but was truly only hours, until they were sitting on the bench at the bus stop, waiting for a ride back to London.

“It burned down, remember?” Crowley said again, peering at him gently.

This time there was nothing to cushion the blow. He’d relinquished his sword yet again, he’d lost and regained his body, the devil was gone to who knows where, and reality was returning to normal – but his shop, his home, his haven of two hundred and nineteen years, was no more. He kept his face as blank as he could while he reeled inside from the pain.

“How – how did it burn?” he asked later, as they sat on the white leather couch in Crowley’s living room. It wasn’t a pleasant couch; it didn’t invite lounging and reading the way the Chesterfield in his office had. But with Crowley there and a few glasses of wine and a throw or two, it somehow became much more hospitable.

“I don’t know,” Crowley admitted. “Didn’t smell like hellfire, although I couldn’t tell that at first. Thought it had been Hastur or someone, for a while.” He paused to take a deep breath and stuff that feeling down deep. “It wasn’t.”

“Accident, then?” the angel suggested. “I was speaking to the Metatron when I got discorporated. So, there were candles about.”

“The Metatron discorporated you?” Crowley shouted. “That son of a bitch! I’ll fucking murder him!”

“No, no,” Aziraphale said, laying a hand on Crowley’s arm. “It wasn’t him. It was a human. Caught me in the act with the Metatron, so to speak, and assumed I was conjuring demons. I was trying to prevent him from stepping into the circle himself and being harmed when I accidentally crossed the boundary and was sent back to Above.”

“Who?” Crowley growled.

“Never you mind,” Aziraphale said gently. “It was my fault and not theirs, and I won’t have you administering demonic justice on anyone on my behalf.”

Crowley scowled into his wine for a few minutes. “So probably the force of you ascending bodily into heaven knocked over a candle or two and that was that.”

“Most likely,” Aziraphale nodded.

They drank quietly for a few minutes after that, both lost in thought. Aziraphale knew Crowley was thinking about the retribution that was likely coming to them, and he ought to focus on that too – they desperately needed a plan. But his mind was distracted, pinging off random thoughts about the bookstore being gone and particularly about something he did not understand – why was he not feeling as bad as he ought to?

He should be devastated. It was gone, all of it. The culmination of centuries of book collecting, the best nest he’d ever formed, all of it evaporated in the blink of an eye. And it did hurt, like a punch to the chest, but he wasn’t as levelled by it as he would have expected. Instead, he felt – well he felt surprisingly safe. Warm. Cared for. He was with Crowley.

A thought came to him with a sudden shock, and he gasped in spite of himself.

“What?” Crowley said, startling upright. “Do you have an idea for what we should do?”

“Yes, yes, possibly, or the start of one,” the angel said, “but this is something else. Something just occurred to me.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow. “Do tell?”

“You visited me in Ninevah, didn’t you? At the small hut I kept there?”

Crowley frowned. “Multiple times. Our time there overlapped by about two years. Introduced you to date wine and all kinds of depravity.”

“And Thebes?”

Crowley thought for a moment. “That tent you kept outside of the temples? I think I spent about a month there with you, off and on, recovering from that near-discorporation when the camel spit on me and I fell off right next to the cliff and ended up – oh you know, right?”

Aziraphale remembered that. Crowley had never truly forgiven camels after that. Not that he blamed them. Horrible creatures, camels. If he weren’t commanded to love all of Her creatures, he would have made an exception for that one.

“But were you in any of my homes between the two?” he asked, deep in thought.

Crowley narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on?”

Aziraphale waved a hand. “Just humor me. I know you have a prodigious memory.”

Crowley thought back. “I don’t think so. We saw each other a handful of times, but it was always in transit – while we were travelling, or at an oasis, or during a battle. I can’t remember seeing any of your homes in between those two periods.”

“And in Rome, remember that one time when I smuggled you inside the monastery to see the frescoes? Fra Mitti was doing such astonishing work, and there was the one fresco that included a painting of the serpent of Eden, and you insisted on seeing it?”

“Didn’t even burn my feet,” Crowley said, laughing. “Living quarters weren’t consecrated enough. Liked that serpent though.”

“Oh my good Heavens,” Aziraphale said. “It’s you. It’s not the places themselves, it’s the places that you’ve been in.”

Crowley blinked, utterly lost. “What is it you’re trying to say, angel?”

Aziraphale blushed, aware he had revealed more than he had intended to. “Oh, it’s just that I’ve been thinking about the places that I’ve lived and what differentiates them. You’ve lived in a number of tents and huts and houses and manses over the years – you certainly know how some of them are just places to sleep to you and some of them have a different feel to them, like something makes them feel like a true home? Almost something alchemical, the way they morph into something with meaning?”

Crowley nodded. Most of his hadn’t, to be honest. He’d tried not to put down too many roots. Hell frowned upon it, and there was always some rogue demon showing up to visit with him and destroy his belongings for fun anyways, and the few places he had cared for and protected early on had ended up sacked or destroyed in wars and fires, and after a while he had given up on trying to embue his surroundings with a sense of safety. What was the point? The only safety for him was and had always been the angel, anyway. It didn’t matter where he slept.

After the events of the day, finding themselves on their own side, Aziraphale just couldn’t be bothered to hide his true feelings anymore. In for a penny, as they say, in for a pound.

“I just realized that all of the places that have truly become a home to me are places that you have visited,” he blurted out. “It’s not the places themselves, it’s you.”

Crowley looked deeply embarrassed, and also slightly flattered. It was, in a word, adorable, the angel thought.

“Nahhhh,” the demon drawled. “Not me. I mean, maybe I played a part in it. Added some wine and the occasional tchotchke I picked up on my travels. Kicked up the décor a notch or two. But maybe you just only shared the places with me that already felt that way – didja ever think of that?”

Aziraphale smiled fondly. “So, you think I just didn’t invite you into the more horrible places I lived?”

Crowley nodded. “Yeah. Like you only brought me over to the good ones. Because you’re – you know, what did they use to call it? House proud.” He grinned. “Fussy.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes mildly. “If I were truly fussy, I’d have gotten a demon friend with better manners, my dear.”

Equilibrium restored by that slight insult, they both relaxed back onto the seat cushions and sipped their wine. Aziraphale smiled into his cup, though; he knew he was correct in this realization, and he knew why he didn’t feel completely devastated at the moment. Sad, yes, hurting, yes, worried about the future and what they would make of it. But the bookshop, while a blow, wasn’t an immeasurable loss. The things he had loved and gathered were gone, but he was still at home in the world, as long as Crowley was here. As long as they were safe and together.

That jarred a thought in his head, and he reached into the inner breast pocket of his jacket to pull out the singed piece of paper that they had been puzzling over earlier in the evening. It was all related, he thought – home and safety and ensuring that each other was present, and feeling as at home in each other as they did in their own skins.

A light clicked on in his brain and he was suddenly, utterly sure that they were going to survive this, whatever retribution Above and Below had planned for them.

“Crowley,” he said, “I’ve had the most brilliant, wicked idea…”

#goc2020 #good omens fanfiction #Aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #home #body switching

43 notes · View notes

emberbent · 4 years

Photo

Book 2: Air | Chapter 4: Bending Embers

“Idiot,” Yanyu scoffed. She was a mean-faced woman of indeterminate old age; though she wore civilian clothing, her long, gray queue and sharp, precise movements gave her away as having had Dai Li training. She cast a disgusted sneer at the Avatar, who was held fast to a chair with hand-shaped cuffs made of unforgiving stone, entranced. “I can’t believe she fell for it.”

“I can’t either,” the Org lackey grunted. He sat beside the chair on the floor, taking a rest with his arms curled around his bent knees. He’d lit the fireplace to stave off the chilly late-autumn draft that had swept into the room. “Name’s Nobu, by the way.”

“Can’t say I really give a damn what your name is,” Yanyu replied airily. Then, with more force: “You know what I’m here for.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nobu rolled his eyes. “Hang on a sec.” He yanked his radio out of its holster on his belt and held it up to his mouth. “Agent Tanaka to Command. Avatar has been captured and is ready for transfer, over.”

The response was immediate. “Very good. See that she is brought to me in one piece. Over.”

“Wilco. Over and out,” Nobu said into his radio. Hauling himself up into a standing position, he twisted a couple times to the left and right, cracking his spine. “Man… I’m getting too old for this.”

“Oh, please,” Yanyu spat. “Don’t talk to me about being old. I want my money.”

Nobu stood firm. “You know the deal. We get her transferred, and then you get your cut.”

Yanyu rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Then she looked again at the pacified Avatar, eyes open but unseeing, face still. She produced from the inside of her robe pocket a little vial of thick, black liquid. “Let me give her more of this before we take her.”

“What is that?” Nobu inquired, squinting at the substance.

Yanyu uncapped the vial and, with a hard curling of her fingers, removed the sludge and let it hover in the air for a few seconds. “Insurance,” she smirked. “Gave her some of this when she was a kid just in case. This’ll help her stay nice and quiet on the trip.”

With a slow, tight twist of her hand, she propelled the wobbling blob toward Shinza.

“Open,” Yanyu instructed.

She obeyed. The sludge brushed her bottom lip.

Hey. Hey! Wake up! shouted a familiar voice in Shinza’s mind.

Her hand twitched.

“Hurry!” hissed Nobu. “She’s coming out of it.”

Shinza! Wake the fuck up, you’re in trouble!

“No she’s not,” Yanyu replied arrogantly. “Shinza… you are a good, quiet girl.”

Korra’s palm was hot and hard as it struck Shinza’s face. “Wake! Up!”

Shinza bolted upright, dazed, as she found herself in the spirit room with Korra. “What…?”

“You have to wake up,” Korra urged. “It was a trap. The Org and some bitch named Yanyu are kidnapping you. Get up.”

Slowly, stupidly, Shinza looked at her hands, her arms. Realization dawned on her. As if piped in through an old-time intercom system, a voice came to her: “You are a good, quiet girl…”

She was awake now.

“I can help you, but you have to fight. Ready?” Korra urged.

On the physical plane, Shinza’s eyes shot open, glowing white with the force of Korra’s guidance. A howling wind kicked up around her, throwing furniture around the room as if it was all made of paper. The earthen cuffs crumbled away and she stood up from the chair.

“I am no such thing,” Shinza bellowed; the wind was deafening, but her voice rang out above it, bolstered by Korra’s voice layered behind it. With a sharp jab, she shot a blast of fire at Yanyu’s head.

Yanyu swiftly ducked and rolled, grounding herself in a solid horse stance and sending her foot downward, hard. The cement slab beneath their feet broke into shards like brittle candy, shredding the carpet above it; Yanyu directed the shards inward, aiming to capture Shinza’s legs. Narrowly, Shinza leapt upward on a current of air, the cement scraping at the leather of her boots. Behind her, Nobu snuck up and wrapped his arm around her neck, cutting off her airflow with the crook of his elbow. Flailing, Shinza kicked both legs out high, striking Yanyu in the jaw in an attempt to wriggle free. Nobu flexed his bicep. Shinza saw stars. He snared her wrists behind her back and wrestled her to the ground, stomach to the earth with his knee hard on her back.

“Stop fighting!” Yanyu commanded over the cutting wind. Gesturing with her hands, she summoned the crumbled earthen cuffs; they reformed and flew toward Shinza, stony fingers curling--

Shinza uttered a deafening howl. The gale picked up with sudden, ferocious force and sent Yanyu and Nobu both across the room in different directions, their bodies thudding against the walls. She got to her feet. Nobu, fazed and angry, bolted upright and lunged for her. In a split second, Shinza’s eyes went to the fireplace. Her hand shot out, summoning the smoldering embers forward. Then she thrust her fist at Nobu, sending them into his eyes.

Nobu screamed, clutching at his face and falling to his knees. The smell of charred flesh permeated the room.

Behind her, Yanyu drove her bony knuckles into Shinza’s spine. Once, twice, but before she could land the third blow, Shinza whirled around, catching Yanyu’s arm in her grasp and twisting until she heard a loud pop. Yanyu yowled defiantly, her hard green stare daring her to continue. Shinza yanked her other arm forward, gripping it hard and twisting at the shoulder so Yanyu couldn’t move.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Yanyu growled.

Shinza snapped her arm with a nauseating crack. “You will never block anyone’s bending again.”

In the recesses of her mind, Korra whooped and hollered triumphantly, and then slipped away. The white glow receded from Shinza’s eyes, and the gale subsided. The room was in shambles. Yanyu lie passed out on the floor, and Nobu crouched near the crooked bed, wailing, blinded, burned.

“Why? Why would you do this?!” Nobu cried.

Shinza sank to her knees near him. “Would you really have let me go if I’d asked politely? I don’t think so. I don’t believe you would have reasoned with me.”

“The Avatar is not reasonable,” Nobu argued miserably. “You’ve proven that today.”

“I’m sorry you see it that way.”

“I don’t see anything now because of you!” he spat viciously, lunging at her in rage but toppling, unwilling to remove his hands from his blistered face. He sobbed. “It wasn’t supposed to go this way. I was supposed to turn you in, collect my bonus, and retire.”

Shinza studied him. Greying at the temples; muscled, but he probably had to work harder to stay fit than he used to. Maybe he had a wife and grown kids. This was just a job to him - one with a good pension, by the sound of it. Nothing personal.

“What do you really think of the Organization?” Shinza inquired. “Of the Avatar?”

“I don’t know,” Nobu sniffed. “I don’t care anymore. Leave me alone.”

Shinza’s gaze narrowed on him. Was he really letting her go? “Okay then. I’m walking away.”

“Go. Get a head start before I change my mind. Just know the big man won’t be pleased when you don’t arrive. He’ll send out another crew, a better one, and they won’t treat you well.”

“That’s fair,” she said. Then she turned for the door, stepping carefully over Yanyu’s prone body and opening the door. With one foot over the threshold, she turned back. “By the way, the healers in Republic City are top notch. They’ll fix you up.”

Nobu scoffed. Shinza stepped into the chilly air, sticking her thumb and index finger into her mouth to whistle for Xia. But before she could make a sound, the ground rumbled beneath her feet. Shinza turned back to see the pointy end of a shard of concrete leveled at her face. Yanyu directed it with her feet and sent it forward. Shinza ducked, but the corner of the block caught her shoulder, ripping her clothes and the skin beneath it. An ugly black bruise began to form immediately. Shinza growled furiously, cocking her fist--

A plume of sweltering flame blasted through the doorway, missing Shinza but engulfing Yanyu, as Xia drove relentlessly forward into the building, arching upward in a loop like a roller coaster once she’d cleared it and doubling back to reign more fire.

“Shit,” Shinza murmured. The inn began to burn around her. “Oh, fuck.”

Xia made another loop and slowed down just enough for Shinza to throw herself onto her back. Before she knew it, they were speeding into the air as the inn was consumed by flames. In the distance, she heard police sirens.

Reeling, Shinza clung tightly to the dragon. She’d managed, just barely, to wriggle out of her own kidnapping, but she’d had to physically maim two people to do it. Her dragon had just committed murder by arson. The Organization, she knew, would be out for blood. She could already see the propaganda flyers littering the streets of towns across the globe: Avatar brutally murders her opposers.

The visceral feel of Yanyu’s limbs snapping in her hands pulsed in her head like a sick heartbeat. The stench of Nobu’s charred flesh was embedded in her clothes - a smell she’d never be able to wash out.

Clinging tightly to Xia’s back, she planted her palm firmly onto the slick, scarlet scales, closing her eyes and communicating with gratitude: I couldn’t have gotten out of that without you.

_______

They touched down in a town a comfortable distance away from Gaoling. Shinza parted with Xia, wearily found another inn, checked in, and immediately collapsed on the bed. Though she slept hard, she dreamed a familiar dream: black sludge oozed out in sticky tendrils from her eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. But this time, she let it flow, watching it collect itself into a neat blob and flow back into its little glass bottle.

In the morning, she felt as if she’d been hit by a Satobus. Bleary-eyed and sore, she made her way to the bathroom, noting the ugly blue bruise and the throbbing, bloody scrape on her shoulder. Her reflection stared back at her, hollow-eyed, pallid. Her freckled face was framed by a tangle of dark hair. There were no mirrors in the Eastern Air Temple; with the exception of the pond in the early, tranquil morning, she hadn’t seen herself in months. Shinza scarcely recognized the woman she saw. In her own mahogany eyes, she saw exhaustion, anger, sadness, and what Shinza could only describe as freedom. Though she smoke and char from the inn in Gaoling still clung to her skin, and though she could still hear Yanyu’s yowling and the snapping of her bones, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her. Carefully, she cleaned the wound on her shoulder and bathed. She’d lost her bag, she realized with a sigh, and reluctantly slipped back into the soiled and torn clothes she’d arrived in.

Then, with a growling stomach, she went out in search of food. A block down from the inn was a noodle house; Shinza stopped in and slipped into a booth. A waiter came by to attend to her - a young man with a tapestry of tattoos covering both arms.

“Morning,” he greeted, clearly pretending not to notice the state of her clothes. She had a feeling he wasn’t one to judge. ��What can I get you?”

“House special, please,” she replied. The young man bowed and returned momentarily with a steaming bowl of fresh noodles drowning in fragrant broth. Her stomach rumbled again as she unsheathed her chopsticks.

“Anything else I can get for you?” he inquired.

“Actually,” Shinza paused, studying his tattoos as surreptitiously as she could. “Will you tell me where you got your ink?”

“Pretty sick, huh?” He took a moment to admire the intricate, colorful designs on his skin. “Old man Guo hooked me up. He does it old-style with a poker, not metalbending. He’s over on Shi Street and Main.”

“Thanks,” Shinza replied, and tucked into her noodles.

_______

Shi and Main was a short walk. Guo’s place would have been all but invisible to those not looking for it, save for the wooden sign that had fallen off its little hooks on the awning and sat leaning against the outside of the storefront. Shinza entered and found a man - old, indeed - perched on a stool behind the counter, apparently asleep.

“Excuse me,” she said. “Are you Guo?”

As if he’d been awake the whole time, he smiled brightly, toothlessly. “Oh, yes, that’s me. How may I help you?”

Shinza peered at all the artwork that lined the walls, some of it on old-style parchment scrolls, some on paper. Not a measure of wall was without a drawing or a painting. Spirits, beasts, curvaceous women, and poems in elegant calligraphy abounded.

“I’d like a tattoo,” she said. “A big one.”

With the enthusiasm of a child, Guo stepped off his stool and hobbled around the front counter. “What strikes your fancy?” he inquired in his thin, airy voice. His cloudy eyes traveled over the torn fabric of her shoulder.

“Don’t ask,” Shinza said flatly. Guo met her gaze and winked. Then she rolled up the sleeve on her opposite arm. “Are you familiar with the red dragons of the Island of the Sun Warriors?”

The process took nearly eleven hours, but meditating with Lo Sang for months on end had prepared her both for the wait and for the pain. The pain was intense and prolonged and entrancing; once Guo had sunk the inked needle into her skin for the last time, he carefully and reverently cleaned her skin and gestured for her to take a look in the full-length mirror nearby.

The tattoo consisted of strict, uniform linework and painstaking, meticulous shadow stippling in pure black ink. It started at her clavicle, where the likeness of Xia’s head breathed fire toward Shinza’s heart; the dragon’s body extended down the entire length and surface of her arm, ending with the detail of Xia’s tail wrapping delicately around her fingers, over her scars.

“It suits you,” Guo said, admiring his work. “Your spirit companion will be quite proud.”

“How do you know I know this dragon?” Shinza inquired casually.

Guo peered up at her and offered another toothless smile. “We have long awaited your return, Avatar,” he whispered. “Go in peace.”

Guo refused to accept the last of her money, claiming no payment was greater than to be allowed to tattoo her. Shinza cast him one last inquisitive look before closing the door behind her and whistling for her dragon.

_______

@chromecutie @hetapeep41 @jaymzbush @newyorkerqueen @my-remedy-is-euphoria

11 notes · View notes

vickyhugo · 4 years

Text

okay so i thought long and hard about this and discussed it with multiple people in length and came to the conclusion, that there is one valid answer.

first of all, ask yourself what you want out of your quarantine house. do you want to have a good time? do you want to have good conversations? do you want to fuck? how much annoyance can you take?

my answer is this: i want to fuck as much as possible while also having a good fight. i can busy myself for most of the time but i need some human contact and i’m also super horny atm because testo can be that bitch. i’m also an aries and i need a good fight every once in a while.

so. we can eliminate most houses as valid options pretty quickly. house 1 has a few iconic authors and i’m sure oscar wilde would be a good fuck, but brecht wrote die dreigroschenoper which i am still angry about as it sends me right back to school and weird adaptations of seeräuber jenny. is brecht an icon for letting jenny rejoice over watching men die? yes, but he is also annoying and probably super full of himself and that’s just too much for me to take.

house 3 has arguably amazing authors, would ayn rand not be there. as much as i’d like to see maya angelou take ayn rand out, the combination of plath’s and kafka’s depressed energy and shirley jackson’s mystery shit would be too exhausting. i want to have a good time not bummed out by the three of them while also being intimidated by maya angelou. i’d probably turn out to be the ayn rand of the house and i really don’t want to live long enough to see myself become the villain.

house 4 offers some interesting interactions because hubbard and pym would totally clash while stein, mccullers and baldwin would probably get along great and offer amazing gay energy (don’t @ me, mcculler’s best friends were tennessee williams and truman capote and that’s....... gay). at the same time i feel like i would fade in comparison to the others tho and wouldn’t get to experience stein’s top notch strap game (also i’m pretty sure our top energies wouldn’t vibe).

house 5 is an interesting option. dickinson would probably never be seen so we can leave her out. audre lorde is a great argument to choose this house as she probably is the warmest person to be quarantined with. also it offers the opportunity to tell ts eliot about cats (2019). nevertheless, we have nabokov who i heard was pretty much an asshole, and garcía marquez, who arguably is a great author but has been ruined for me because i read all of john green’s books when i was a teenager and associate garcía marquez with my cringy teenage years now. would probably be irrationally pissed at garcía marquez and start a fight the first day which would leave me with too many enemies.

house 6. i would fight james joyce and ernest hemingway every day, and i’m sure zora neal hurston and dorothy parker would gladly help me. i’m also sure that although i’d fight hemingway he’d still find the jokes i’d make about finnegan’s wake hilarious. at the same time, i’d probably drink wayyyy too much because these dudes just can’t reel it in, and i’d end up fighting mailer because he killed his wife and i’m way too much of a gentleman to leave that unpunished. after a few days of intense fighting and alienating half of the people in the house, i’d probably end up in bed with definitely dorothy parker and probably zora neale hurston, but would be too exhausted to properly enjoy it.

so let’s return to house 2. we have two incredibly annoying (but easy to dominate) men, fitzgerald and carniege. and we have a trifecta of powerhouse women. this house has it all. someone to let out all your frustration on who is easily to offend when you remind him that zelda was never truly interested. someone who offers self-improvement advice and would probably give you free therapy in order to be liked, only to be shut down by woolf when he becomes too annoying. the ultimate fuck-for-clout, everyone’s favourite problematic fave, virginia woolf. jane austen who i could finally introduce to the pleasures of queer sex (it’s what she deserves and needs). we might even have a little hate-fuck after i tell her i love her stories but can’t stand her writing. susan sontag vibing in her analytic and pretentious way. theorizing about covid-19 and its metaphors. the thing is, both jane austen and virginia woolf talked about the importance of having your own space so you’d still have time for yourself (especially if you tell carniege you’re meditating or something idk). fitzgerald would just cry after like 1.5 days but might come out at night and crawl into your bed, craving some sort of intimacy and validation 20 years of marriage and even longer of a homoerotic friendship with hemingway couldn’t give him, being happy to get pegged by you. susan sontag knows how to party like fitzgerald and how to contemplate death like woolf. jane austen knows how to long and yearn for tenderness which is coincidentally one of woolf’s strengths, too. the erotic tension would be off the charts. the chemistry, once the hierarchies are established (w carniege and fitzgerald at the bottom), would be incredible. the house offers endless opportunities of deep talk, orgies and parties. it offers a space for you to take care of yourself in every sense of the way. it is clearly the only valid choice.

thank you and goodnight.

#i should be reading mbembe rn and my thesis isn't gonna write itself #literature #quarantine #thank u nele i'll credit u for saying u'd fuck virginia woolf for clout it's valid af

6 notes · View notes

pynkhues · 5 years

Note

would loooove to know your thoughts about the finale!

Oh, gosh, I have a lot! I’ve had so many asks already, haha, and I’m still kind of organising my thoughts + need to re-watch, annnnd I hope people aren’t too upset, but while I had a few issues, I actually quit liked the episode? It’s certainly not one of my favourites, but I think it has put us in a really interesting position for Season 3.

Let’s start with the easy stuff: Marion talking Boomer into turning himself in was wonderful. Not for Boomer - still praying for a great Boomer murder scene down the track (let Mary Pat and Annie tag team it!), but I thought it was a really affecting moment, and I love that Marion stepped up to the plate to force him to actually take some accountability for himself.

I loved Annie lowkey shutting Noah down too. She’s not going to visit him in Arizona. She’s not going to keep them going. They’re different people, he deceived her, let’s just let this relationship have a final, spluttering death. I’m curious to see if and where they’ll bring him in for S3 tbh.

Plus the whole sequence of Beth getting ready to turn herself in completely killed me. From telling Ruby it was all on her (as in, on Beth), and that Stan should take Turner’s deal and buying them the Beyonce tickets, to cooking up a feast for the FBI, to the brief intimacy she showed with Dean (because, guys, I do not believe it was romantic - especially those early scenes - she was saying goodbye), I was just hit with about a million feelings. She’d take this for them, y’now?

Annnnnnd, look, what I know you all are actually here for, haha. To me, all the Beth x Rio scenes felt like the culmination of their miscommunications over the entire season. I genuinely think that Rio thought he was doing right by Beth (and himself obviously) by getting her Turner, just like I think that Rio was a consideration in her taking the fall for Boomer’s murder (although her priority was Ruby and Annie). It would’ve been easy for her to cry that Rio had made her after all, and she didn’t. As 2.08 established, these two have very, very different ways of handling things, and that was always going to come to a head. I think their argument in that late scene was legitimate, and I think she shot him the first time out of panic. Yes, he called her bitch, and yes, he was coming towards her, but I’m pretty sure he was trying to pull the gun out of her hand, not hurt her.

They’ve also both been on the rocks since 2.09, so they really aren’t at their best. They’ve betrayed each other, threatened each other, manipulated each other, and yet they can never quite toss the other aside. But she shot him. Three times. She got her hands dirty, like he’s been telling her to do all season, even if it wasn’t in the way that any of us wanted. I think their relationship is going to ramp up a notch with that, and that we’ll be seeing them as rivals/adversaries in S3.

Also, I’ve seen a lot of people say Beth was gloating about having shot him, which certainly isn’t reflective of what I watched? I do think that final sequence was way too rushed, and I do think that the final line from Beth was out of character and not tonally in line with the rest of the episode, but I do think we saw her go through a grief process - between crying into Dean’s chest, dissassociating again with the PTA moms, before finally embracing crime again. I wish the show had devoted a bit more time to her reeling from shooting Rio and undergoing a bit of a grief process, which hopefully we’ll get in 3.01.

But hey, I’m pretty sure Rio’s going to explode back into her life in a big, big way in S3! Only time will tell though.

#gg 2.13 #nbc good girls #beth x rio #beth boland #rio #annie marks #ruby hill #annie x noah #welcome to my ama #gg 2.09 #gg 3.01 #gg 2.08 #lesley peterson #marion peterson #gg season 3 #gg season 2 #dis/armed

104 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: You about? Janis: Here all week, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: put the 🎤 down, I've got a different gig for you Jimmy: less funny but still a pisstake Janis: How well does it pay/will I still be the headliner Janis: dealbreakers, boy Jimmy: That's two questions that have nowt to do with each other Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 like you need the limelight, rich girl Janis: Oh, just call me an attention whore, that'll seal the deal 🙄 Janis: I'm just filling space where your question ain't yet Jimmy: what should is how 💕😍 I'll be all over socials Jimmy: slag for heroic acts, me Janis: What an offer 😏 Janis: Go on then, how am I saving your life today Jimmy: you're saving my 🐕 Jimmy: if you can Janis: It down a well? Janis: wrong way 'round, that Jimmy: Would I need your help if I knew where it'd pissed off to? Janis: I don't know, give me some details to work with Janis: when did you notice, how'd it get out, etc Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just come here and help me look Janis: Where are you then Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I know you can't multitask, how do you reckon you're gonna 🙏 and 🏃? Jimmy: [sends her his location which would random af cos stubborn enough to be looking for ages before he asked for her help obvs] Janis: That's my whole life, dickhead Janis: alright, don't know what your dog would be doing there but I'll be there asap Jimmy: write the book on your own time, mate Jimmy: give it a cameo if you find it Janis: Sweet, you gonna draw the pictures? Jimmy: How well's that pay? Janis: Depends how cute you draw the 🐕 Jimmy: [sends her a deliberately crap quick doodle] Jimmy: there you are Janis: Bestseller, like Janis: so much 💰💰 Jimmy: I never said I'd write it for you an' all Janis: yeah well your grasp on the English language ain't all that so Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: you gonna write it in 🍀? Thank feck I won't be able to read a word Jimmy: can only fake so much enthusiasm Janis: Yeah, you aren't great at that either Janis: but let's not focus on your many, many faults Jimmy: Stop flirting with me, I'm busy Janis: Shut up Janis: What can I do but annoy you 'til I get there Jimmy: Have a look at what you just wrote Jimmy: you might do step 1 Janis: Charming Janis: I've been great, tah Jimmy: if it makes you feel better, we can pretend the 🐕 legged it with my 👑 Janis: What actually happened, toad Janis: unlocked gate or not coming back on a walk Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: reckon I might get some convo there? Janis: 👍 for the tip Jimmy: next one'll be 💰 Jimmy: it were there, he threw a strop and chucked it out, now it ain't Janis: Bummer Janis: we'll find it, probably Janis: got a collar or any shit like that? Jimmy: [sends a picture of him holding it like 😒 cos Twix wasn't wearing it, thanks Ian you dick] Janis: 👎 Jimmy: well helpful, you Janis: I'm on my way, dickhead Janis: I can't summon the thing with my mind, soz, I know you think I'm special Jimmy: meant to be #suchanathlete Jimmy: get a move on, dickhead Janis: You know I live in the middle of nowhere Janis: give me 5, at least Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: You thought I'd moved, yeah Janis: no such 🍀 Jimmy: keep 🙏 for that fake ldr Janis: not having to be 👀 with you would be such a bonus Janis: conference call that shit in Jimmy: not having to kiss you would be massively beneficial to me Jimmy: can't afford to lose any more body parts Janis: we'll find your dog and your ear, stop complaining Jimmy: 💕 Janis: personally, I think you look better without it Jimmy: you've got shit taste Janis: That's you, we've covered that Jimmy: you Janis: 🙄 Janis: take the 🥇 Jimmy: you earned it Janis: oh please Janis: you've run the gauntlet of shit taste olympics Jimmy: don't need to beg for owt, just take it, babe Jimmy: it's alright Janis: be quiet and keep looking Jimmy: been looking for ages Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 😕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: Your brother and sister helping you? Jimmy: That a dealbreaker an' all? Janis: Nah, just wondering Jimmy: if we can't find the 🐕 then I'll tell 'em Janis: No sense in upsetting 'em if you don't need to, yeah Jimmy: my dad don't need another knobhead 🏆 Jimmy: gonna have enough shit to pack up when we leave Janis: Right Janis: not really coming to protect your da though Janis: dogs cute though so Jimmy: I weren't gonna @ him that you 💕 him Jimmy: bit rude to Mr Lucas Janis: let's not pretend you're doing it on mine or his account though Janis: just don't want me to move in Jimmy: not as my step-mum Jimmy: it might be popular on other sites but it ain't likely to be #goals with our demographic Janis: The lads would like it but they're less vocal with their 💕 Jimmy: more about the body language Jimmy: one bit specifically Janis: doesn't translate well with insta likes and comments Janis: less you can get 'em with an accidental doubletap but their gfs are all over that shit Jimmy: got enough hysterical lasses in my DMs, tah Janis: the struggle is so real Janis: poor you, like Jimmy: [sends her a highlight reel cos imagine tbh] Janis: Do you reckon they ever reread what they write or just send Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: I reckon Bill's turning in his ⚰ Janis: romance is dead, mate Janis: 🥀 Jimmy: re-read and don't hit send, my dear Jimmy: we're trying to avoid 💔😭 for now Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't say dog Janis: optimistic, me Jimmy: won't have to chuck in a box if it is though Janis: don't be morbid Janis: only so much I can take after reading those messages Janis: feeling well 💀 Jimmy: You'll live Jimmy: I'm out of 🚬 so there's nowt but fresh air Janis: That's truly the most devastating thing you've ever said to me Janis: I can get some though Jimmy: You heard me say I've been 👀 for ages Janis: Poor stressed boy Jimmy: Don't take the piss Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I've got work in a bit Janis: 'course you are, your dog is missing Janis: I'm not far from you now so once I get the cigs and get there, I'll take over Jimmy: 👍 Janis: been looking on those cringey neighbourhood sites, if some do-gooder had got it or it'd been hit, it'd be on there and it ain't so that's something, yeah Jimmy: Tah Janis: no big Janis: I'm not a monster Jimmy: if I keep waking you this early, fuck knows what you'll end up looking like Janis: Funny Janis: I weren't asleep anyway, you're alright Jimmy: I get it, gotta stay 💪🏆 Janis: Vampires don't sleep, baby Jimmy: do in the day Jimmy: I should be tucking you in, instead of dragging you out Janis: Add it to your list of failings and crack on Jimmy: ✔ Janis: you smoke [brand] right? Jimmy: #whenshenoticestheshityoucareabout Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Call it your defining feature Janis: along with the 😎 obvs Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt else going for me when this new boy shine wears through Janis: keep 🙏 for the day, like Jimmy: *🤞 Jimmy: me and JC don't know each other like that Janis: You don't know him, but he knows you Janis: not unlike your fans Jimmy: There's only room for one fit and mysterious lad round here so he'll have to do one back to the ☁ Janis: Hate the attention, you, well obvious 😏 Jimmy: I get it whether I want it or not Janis: They do Jesus dirty in the paintings Janis: can't compete with a selfie Jimmy: He knows what to do if he's fuming Janis: can't wait for the second coming when he fucks you right up Jimmy: #cancelled Jimmy: me either, sounds like a right laugh Janis: Miss me when I'm saved and you ain't Janis: how starcrossed ldr me from hell, bitch Jimmy: Suicide's a sin, baby, ain't you heard? Janis: so is most stuff, honestly Janis: but I'm 😇 looking Janis: gonna want me around Jimmy: no dickhead's hotter than 😈 don't you wanna be around him? Janis: 🙄 my type, yeah Jimmy: Do you want an answer for that? Janis: The devil loses in the end, you know Janis: back the winner Jimmy: love an underdog, me Jimmy: I get why you don't, rich girl Jimmy: probably get a 🦄☁ really kick that horse girl fantasy up a notch Janis: Animals don't have souls Janis: Catholic fun 101 Janis: gotta find your dog otherwise it's bad news all 'round Jimmy: 💔🐕⚰🎻☔ Janis: Cheery Janis: know you hate your job but plaster your customer service face on for me Jimmy: you inspired me with your little sermon there, like Janis: you deserved it, like Jimmy: For what? Janis: For implying I'd fuck the devil Jimmy: I never said owt of the sort Jimmy: just asking if you're off lads now 'cause of the one dickhead Janis: I don't think you can say all men are going to hell Janis: thought Asia would be 😍 for that sweeping statement Jimmy: I'll screenshot it for her Janis: 💘 Janis: cute Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Janis: ⛪ Janis: gotta go confess now, thanks a lot Janis: [sends actual location as she's coming up though like calm down] Jimmy: if you could rush it through 🤏 please Jimmy: I dunno, maybe pretend there's a character limit Janis: soz the priest is well invested in hearing all about me fucking the devil Jimmy: can't stop being goals, you Jimmy: come hell or high water Jimmy: tell him to put his 👅 and owt else back in Janis: Lord knows I may as well become a nun according to you Janis: get that good book and that good dick Jimmy: Oi I never said you should, I asked if you were Janis: Not really got the time, have I Jimmy: You've got all night 🧛 girl Jimmy: for a start Janis: When we're not fake out, sure Jimmy: I don't outstay my welcome at parties, that's the other dickhead Janis: This is all irrelevant Janis: and he can turn water into wine, he's never not welcome, boy Jimmy: I didn't mean him Janis: Now you're making it sound like I hooked up with Voldemort Jimmy: I dunno his name or @ do I? Janis: Ha, Harry, actually Jimmy: I never said I wanted to know it, but tah Janis: just trying to avoid Jesus related mixups, don't think he needs the ego boost if I'm honest Jimmy: 👌 Janis: This is you though, yeah Janis: hate to approach the wrong dickhead Janis: [waving like yo] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Don't have a bottle of wine in my pocket that were water, soz, just that conditioned to be fake happy to see you Janis: [does 💔 hands 'right, show me where you usually walk her, the route, then you can fuck off whenever you need to'] Jimmy: [walking like a rude hoe not even gonna say hey or anything okay then] Janis: [just shrugging like okay then but purposefully keeping up pace so he can't march ahead] Jimmy: [we strutting in stressed silence] Janis: [on phone, but making a socials post like if you see this dog, 'cos Cass ain't gonna see it on hers so doesn't matter and could help] Jimmy: [nodding at her like thanks when he sees it] Janis: [shrugs again like nbd] Jimmy: [keep going lads that poor baby dog needs you] Janis: [hit all them doggy hotspots like the park etc] Jimmy: [I hope she's found a 🐕 friend or something so she's not all alone and forlorn] Janis: [my boo is #concerned] Jimmy: [I am, she's just a smol baby and they haven't trained her or anything] Janis: [least we aren't being too evil] Jimmy: [I could NEVER] Janis: [asking relevant Twix questions 'cos you care but also to have some convo] Jimmy: [acting like you don't know cos you hate that dog so much #lies] Janis: [lowkey like why am i looking then boy but just via looks not actually gonna say it] Jimmy: [basically being like don't then as if you haven't asked for her help with exactly this] Janis: [walks ahead like I'll keep doing this but we don't need to do this] Jimmy: [keeps up because doesn't wanna be his moody af father] Janis: [looks at him like alright?] Jimmy: [just looking back her because no but god forbid you talk about it ever] Janis: [makes face like yeah, I know and goes in her pocket 'nearly forgot' and hands him the cigarettes] Jimmy: [we know the drill by now, ladies first without even asking which works as a lowkey sorry for being a prick rn too so] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: [the most dramatic exhale of smoke/sigh but not deliberately dramatic just how he's feeling rn cos he's running out of places to look like Twix where you at babe] Janis: [gently nudges his side with her shoulder like it'll be okay but not saying that 'cos can't promise it so, running ahead when you see a dog walker to ask if they've seen any dogs on their own] Jimmy: ? Janis: [jogging back over but not coming fully, like you gotta follow me 'she reckons there was a dog that didn't seem to be with anyone in [a park but not Twix's usual lol]'] Jimmy: [does follow her even though he probably doesn't know where that even is because literally me and could get lost anywhere] Janis: [now gotta search every bush in this park like hellooo] Jimmy: [gotta call her name like that's not lowkey awks for someone so 😎] Jimmy: [also I know this is serious business but 100% needs to push her into a bush like my mum did to me/ jump out from behind one just because] Janis: [we all know you're not cool but yeah, some pet names are really awks if you have to shout them lmao, also yes, even if you jump way more than you normally would 'cos tense situ and then you're 😒] Jimmy: [loling too much because it's one of those days and you gotta but not gonna help her 😒 face you'll have to get your own back gal] Janis: [just handing him some dog luring food she got and jogging off like I'll go this way] Jimmy: [she should get her because start of a beautiful friendship] Janis: [I vibe, I'll see if I have a pic of them were she looks buzzing/smug enough lol] Jimmy: [when you hug the bae because you're so relieved that the kids won't kick off or your dad or your manager cos you won't be late now but also because she stayed and actually helped you and like who does that ever] Janis: [Twix like lemme get in on that 'cos full of love] Jimmy: [shoutout to the mvp she is for stopping that becoming too much of a moment] Janis: [and being awkward or anything like that god bless 'see, all alright, yeah'] Jimmy: [when he's probably holding this dog cos 1. don't run off again and 2. she's hyper af and needs to be licking his face and snuggling him so he's 😒 and a look like is it though but we know you love Twix really] Janis: [lols 'she knows you missed her, like, you can't hide it'] Jimmy: [lowkey throws the dog at her with a piss off kinda look] Janis: [gives Twix some love and a 🙄 at him but not harsh] Jimmy: [does it back because always] Janis: ['no excuse to skive off work now though' face like gutted] Jimmy: ['you could've offered to phone in fake sick for me, bit rude' cos throwforward to when we actually did that haha] Janis: ['if they let their barista boys have time off for every new girl, they'd go out of business' shoutout to your hot colleagues the flat whites sexually harass] Jimmy: [oh pete I love you my darling but meanwhile Jimmy is just shrugging cos wouldn't care if the CG did tbh] Janis: [punching, there should be another word for that 'cos sounds so violent I just mean a friendly tap like, his arm, 'come on, I need the limelight, you need the paycheck'] Jimmy: ['you coming in for a latte then?' we 👀 you shamelessly wanting to spend time with her boy, deliberately saying latte because she would NEVER] Janis: [scoffs in DISGUST honey 'not your real girlfriend, boy, though with the heartbreak she's probably just necking double espressos, right?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head 'drumming up business and a bae, so evil, you are' as if you didn't send the message lol] Jimmy: ['You did the evil deed, Judith, square that one with your priest an' all'] Janis: ['or, did I do you all a favour, think on that'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like you've only done me this one favour rn ever] Janis: ['that's alright, no need for a thank you card'] Jimmy: [writes leave it out in the air with a flourish] Janis: [😏 'when's your shift then and what are you gonna do with the dog?'] Jimmy: [does her trick of checking an imaginary watch 'might chuck an apron on her and give her a go with the steam wand' but we know he's really gonna nip home first so Twix can snuggle with the kids cos had an exciting morning and she just a baby] Janis: ['you really gonna give employee of the month away just like that' does loser sign then looks around like hmm, 'cos you in town now, what are you gonna do, ensue awks] Jimmy: ['Reckon I'm safe, it'll be all them espressos if nowt else' just lowkey drags her along with him, bit rude] Janis: [just like umm excuse me but doesn't not come along like] Jimmy: [looks at her and the dog and back like she's not home yet, the job's not done 'won't get fake girlfriend of the month by taking the piss'] Janis: [dramatic gasping like oh no 'I'm the only fake girlfriend you have, babe, 'less it's your ultimate #kinkunlocked'] Jimmy: [dramatic gasp back like he's been busted] Janis: ['it's alright, already knew you were a pervert' accidental LOOK] Jimmy: ['before you agreed or after?' and a LOOK back of course] Janis: ['that'd be telling'] Jimmy: ['So go on'] Janis: [shakes head 'who knew or knows anything about you, mystery boy?'] Jimmy: [winks at Twix as if she knows all his secrets] Janis: ['nerd' but we all know she thinks it's cute] Jimmy: ['Oi, you barely know her' cos he is a nerd] Janis: [gives her more fuss 'the bitch is cool'] Jimmy: ['steady on, she won't fit through the door'] Janis: 'but if we can wedge her in, she won't be able to get back out' taps head like tada 'you just hate when anyone else gets compliments'] Jimmy: ['Busted again, me. You're proper on one this morning, mate'] Janis: ['always am, you're just in a good mood 'cos your bestie is back'] Jimmy: [snorts like if you say so] Janis: ['ignore him, he's a right moody dickhead most the time' @Twix] Jimmy: ['ignore her, right comedian so she reckons, might get the hint one of these days' also @ twix] Janis: ['She knows who saved her, mate, team me all the way'] Jimmy: ['go on and take her home with you, hate to break both your hearts, obvs'] Janis: ['hate to break your little brother's though'] Jimmy: ['my sister would fight you for her any road, a black eye ain't gonna be goals like the bruises I give you'] Janis: [lols 'there we go then, shoulda kept that to yourself if you were tryna get me sparked out'] Jimmy: [gives her a OTT scandalised look like why would I do that 'if it ain't #goals it ain't a goal of mine, Jules'] Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: ['if you wanna have a scrap, crack on with pulling Asia's hair or something'] Janis: [🙄 'bitch fight ain't my scene, even faking it, soz to the punters who'd love it'] Jimmy: [the heartbroken hand mime again] Janis: ['such a boy' looking at Twix like can you believe him?] Jimmy: [looks down at himself like he's so shook cos biggest nerd] Janis: ['not a compliment, Pinocchio'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?'] Janis: ['I knew you were a boy, you can have that if you're short on love'] Jimmy: ['bit busy @ing my dad about how much of a lad you reckon I am, hang on'] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 cos 1. it's been a minute 2. such a lad 3.😎] Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: such a flirt, you Janis: just so manly, bears repeating, obvs Jimmy: [nudges her like go on then tell the fans] Jimmy: gonna make me 😳 if you keep on Janis: Let me know if you've got it in you and I'll add it 'fore I hit send, like Jimmy: let me know if you've got it in you, more like Janis: You reckon I can't make you blush? Jimmy: do you reckon you can? Jimmy: that's the question Janis: Obviously I can Jimmy: What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm busy over here Jimmy: you're chatting bollocks over there Janis: The world needs to know the 🐶 is alive and well and you're such a #lad if you don't mind Jimmy: convenient timing that Janis: only a performing monkey when there's a crowd, you know that Jimmy: [a look like yeah right] Janis: [kicking his ankles like shh and not looking at him] Janis: you still owe me a good idea anyway Jimmy: I said blush not bleed, babe Janis: know what I prefer Jimmy: #kinkunlocked ages ago 🧛 girl Janis: then be nice and give me what I want Jimmy: [gives her a look like what do you want] Janis: [the 'you know' coming out before you can even think to stop yourself, then shaking your head and pointing at your fangs with a smirk like duh] Jimmy: [sets his phone camera on a timer like this is how long you've got to try and make me 😳 or bleed and gestures her over to a bench like] Janis: [doing a big sigh as if you're all ugh but really it's 'cos you're nervous but shh, once he's sat down, sitting in his lap of course but making a point of seeing if you're in-frame so we've got the pretense for how real you're shamelessly gonna be, looking at him properly 'Jimmy, I missed you'] Jimmy: [saying her name back because the only other time he has was when he was annoyed and that is simply not allowed thank you and hitting her with the 😍 #tooreal] Janis: [shuffling closer to him into his lap somehow when he says your name and smoothing his hair off his face with both hands then letting them come to rest on his shoulders, giving them a little massage 'I mean it' #whenthecameraisrollingandyouvebeenchallenegedsoyoucansaythisisallpretendifyouhaveto #adangerousgame] Jimmy: [so into it and would be even if he hadn't had the most stressful morning ever but because he has and because we can say it's fake SUCH A SOUND 'I know, I can tell' #boywhyhaveyoustartedsomethingyouliterallyhaveworktogotosoon] Janis: ['Can you tell just how bad though?' when moving closer has turned into grinding on him shamelessly] Jimmy: [a nod because speaking is dangerous rn fake or real] Janis: ['what else do you wanna know?'] Jimmy: ['What else do you want me to know?'] Janis: [tilting your head to one side like you're thinking, still rubbing his shoulders 'depends'] Jimmy: [his eyes closing because it feels nice which is not the word tbh 'on what?' because I have to ask] Janis: [little kisses on his eyelids then whispering in his ear 'if you're ready to know it all'] Jimmy: [have to kiss her to keep it vague and save our lives because is that a this is how ready I am or is it I'm kissing you so I don't have to answer] Janis: [either way, a kiss moment honey] Jimmy: [like we know the answer lads but we can't out Jimothy that hard right here right now so gotta keep you guessing babe] Janis: [finally breaking off the kiss, so reluctantly, 'Did you blush?'] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can look because shamelessly buying himself some recovery time after that] Janis: [not getting off him, just resting your head on his chest whilst you watch this back like comfy are we] Jimmy: [just playing with her hair like you're trying to fix whatever mess you made of it during that kiss, we see your flimsy excuse boy cos you're not being that soft about it rn] Janis: [making a noise like did you have to or can you legitimately not help it rn] Jimmy: [if he wasn't blushing before he is now thank god she's looking at this phone] Janis: ['that was definitely a blush there' pointing at some point in that recording like see, looking up at him 'you look cute'] Jimmy: ['you're taking the piss' because works for both things she said and he's a boy of few words] Janis: [shakes head like nu-uh] Jimmy: [pokes her like yeah you are] Janis: [boops his nose like no I'm not] Jimmy: [still has his hand on her waist after poking her so tickles her of course] Janis: ['don't drop me' so dramatically] Jimmy: [fakes like he is gonna drop her which makes twix cray] Janis: [just a look like see? she loves me] Jimmy: [such a dramatic sigh like ugh he's so over you both #lies] Janis: ['be nice'] Jimmy: ['or what?'] Janis: [raising a brow 'you're ready to find that out, yeah?'] Jimmy: [raises his own back at her 'why wouldn't I be? The scaredy cat's you'] Janis: [puts a finger to his lips dramatically like shh and nods to Twix 'she'll hear you'] Jimmy: [irl 👍 because good I hope she do] Janis: ['you're so jealous of our love, honestly'] Jimmy: ['bit busy with my own, she's a handful, like' oh Asia god bless] Janis: ['yeah I've heard about her cup size, thanks' 🙄] Jimmy: [lil lol] Janis: [finally getting off him like hmpf on the low] Jimmy: ['you've got nowt to be jealous of' is he being real or fake we'll never know] Janis: ['duh' and getting up up 'better get this dog back or you'll be late'] Jimmy: [literally has never wanted to go to work less in his life but come on lads] Janis: [we just walking along merrily like that didn't happen] Jimmy: [#socasual] Janis: [so casual nbd we're all friends here, is gonna need a 🚬 though but never asking just accosting him like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [do something else with your hands and mouths kids, cos you know he has to have one too even though he's had so many today already] Janis: [oh Twix, you rascally babe] Jimmy: [it's all Ian's fault as per] Janis: [at least something good came of it but not getting the credit for that] Jimmy: ['gonna have to get her chipped' thinking out loud cos you know Ian hasn't sorted that or wants the expense] Janis: [nods 'don't take a second, like'] Jimmy: [a look like that's good cos when do I have a sec but then shrugs cos gonna be so unbothered] Janis: [shrugs back 'might be just as easy to look at your fence sitch for puppy-sized holes'] Jimmy: ['I get it, I'm SUCH a lad, no need to go overboard' 😏] Janis: [shakes head 😏 'alright, get your sister to if you can't deal'] Jimmy: ['volunteering to wake her up and tell her to crack on, are you?' 😏 'Tah, babe, willing to go proper above and beyond, you'] Janis: [noise like psh no thank you lol 'way above my paygrade, ask Asia, I'd happily watch that'] Jimmy: [such a lol] Janis: [actual smile] Jimmy: [control your 😍 boy by nodding at the dog 'reckon you've done enough for a bit' cos genuinely is grateful we know] Janis: [forget about it gesture 'favour for the dog, really'] Jimmy: ['probably would've been kinda to let her find a new bunch of dickheads' when you're joking but you're also actually not] Jimmy: [*kinder] Janis: ['now you tell me' but nudges him like come on, you ain't that bad] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'yeah 'cause I missed you an' all' is he being fake about needing to see her so bad #theanswerisno] Janis: [looks at Twix like ?! 'is this even your dog?' 😏] Jimmy: ['Nah' cos lbr he's too 😎 for a dog like this thanks for that Ian] Janis: ['OMG, you're like soulmates' 🖤 hands] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos she said Twix was her true love and he was jealous before, like make your mind up] Janis: ['that's why you're jealous' points at Twix 'player'] Jimmy: ['you wish, dickhead'] Janis: [a look like obvs, dickhead] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her in a sassy manner like there's your 💍] Janis: [waves it away 'show-off'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby'] Janis: ['have to show me how to do it sometime, like'] Jimmy: ['I'll edit it to look like you got the knack first time, keep shit goals'] Janis: [😒 'be a better teacher then, wanker'] Jimmy: ['I've already got owt else that Mr Lucas could possibly want, be cruel that'] Janis: ['cept my heart, but shh'] Jimmy: ['far as he knows I have'] Janis: ['he all up on the socials, you reckon?' face like ew] Jimmy: ['first in, last out' and a dramatic shiver like GROSS] Janis: ['least he won't dob us in if he wants more of that sweet, sweet #content' irl equivalent of 🤢] Jimmy: [sighs like our work's never done 'UGH, we'll just have to find another way to get in trouble at school' and a LOOK] Janis: [a LOOK back 'basically my specialty'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like you that' because she's so 😇 obvs] Janis: ['wait and see' 'cos you only did that one project together then school trip] Jimmy: ['Alright' when you're agreeing to still be doing this after the holidays unthinkingly there] Janis: [probably get to his house, assumedly the first time] Jimmy: [go throw Twix in with those snoozy kids and get ready for work quickly sir] Janis: [jus' chillin' like why am I still here lowkey] Jimmy: put the kettle on, rich girl Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of one like she's never seen one because got staff] Janis: 😱 Janis: don't know how you take your tea Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you better leave Janis: this fake relationship just proved too fake Jimmy: we're over, off you go Janis: would you rather I guess and give you a shit cup Janis: come on Jimmy: might do Jimmy: but if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: You're ridiculous Janis: but fine Jimmy: #mayberidiculouswillbeouralways Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [did I fever dream that they take their tea the same way which was milk and two sugars? because I'm sure we said that in another convo but idk] Janis: [I also remember that and is how she's gonna make it so get ready to FALL IN LOVE BOY] Jimmy: [he's not gonna be able to control the 😍] Janis: would sir like his tea upstairs or down? Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is looking like a snack in his barista uniform which realistically she might not have seen before this] Janis: [when he actually looks good so you have to be OTT fake about it] Jimmy: [when you try the tea and you're like!!! so you have to be all like 'Oi' and call her a cheat] Janis: ['how could I, you got it written down somewhere in case you forget?' lols] Jimmy: [do the I'm watching you thing @ her all 😒] Janis: ['you just take your tea the only correct way, doesn't mean we're fated, calm down'] Jimmy: ['keep that to yourself' drinking that excellent tea] Janis: [🤐] Jimmy: [unzips her like but drink your tea] Janis: ['nerd' but does, of course] Jimmy: [holds his finger up like when you have an aha moment and starts looking in her mouth like a dentist in the manner of oh while it's unzipped lemme just] Janis: ['gross!' moving away so faux offended 'what are you doing, weirdo?'] Jimmy: ['lost an earring, gotta check you ain't swallowed it, girl' such a nerd goodbye] Janis: ['vampire, not a thief' look like how dare you] Jimmy: [' still stole my heart though' cos gotta be OTT fake sometimes] Janis: [finger guns at his chest] Jimmy: [gun at his head and death again] Janis: ['hot'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: 'who's on shift today?' like she knows] Jimmy: [shrugs because could not care less] Janis: [tuts but 😏] Jimmy: [gestures like come on let's go find out] Janis: [shrugs like okay 'I've got a few to kill'] Jimmy: [nods to the imaginary watch cos it's unspoken acknowledgement that the flat whites won't be there that early and she can leave before they are] Janis: ['heaven forbid they leave the house before applying 50 layers of foundation, shit is time-consuming'] Jimmy: [so triggered thinking about his northern ex rn like the horrified facial expression would be so genuine] Janis: [nod of approval 'good acting'] Jimmy: [does the polishing his medal he's wearing mime] Janis: [when it's your nametag 'who the fuck is Jamie?'] Jimmy: ['you ain't met him? honestly gutted for you'] Janis: ['will he be on shift today?' skipping like you're so buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: ['wait and see' cos word theft] Janis: ['ugh, tease'] Jimmy: ['Not trying to turn you on, calm down'] Janis: ['Jamie might be' shrug like don't count me out yet tah] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'he's a starving artist, owt for tips'] Janis: ['fuck you' 😒] Jimmy: ['fuck him, being right dickhead makes him your type'] Janis: ['good' like I intend to, oh honey lol] Jimmy: 'good' boy how you gonna be jealous of someone who doesn't exist] Janis: [when it's literally you lmao] Jimmy: [also he so hasn't posted that bench moment let it be known] Janis: [that's for the best literally no one has asked for that content] Jimmy: [haven't deleted it though have you my dear 👀 you] Janis: [we all know that was shameless so we're not thinking or talking about it ladeeda] Jimmy: [get into work boy, get busy cos we know you're thinking about fuck all else] Janis: [chilling not at all casually at a table] Jimmy: [make her that first ever 💣 smoothie please and thank] Janis: that your specialty? Jimmy: what? Janis: smoothies and juices and shit Jimmy: @CG_FAQ or whatever it is Janis: I get it, you're very busy Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: [serves some business person trying to get a coffee but is looking at her like 🙄😏] Janis: [💔 hands and shamelessly having a nose at his co-workers] Jimmy: [Pete is 100% there, hey babe] Jimmy: So? Go on then Janis: ? Jimmy: Do you like it? Janis: I didn't ask if it were your specialty to take the piss, like Janis: s'good Jimmy: I'll @ my manager Janis: I can do it for you Janis: seems appropraitely fake girlfriend of me Jimmy: I get it, it would be goals to get sacked for having a scrap with him when he's 😍 for you Jimmy: 🥇 plan Janis: I'm not getting you sacked Janis: how many IOUs would that warrant, like, no thanks Jimmy: you're meant to want to spend every second of every day with me, play the game, Janet Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: fine Janis: just 🤞 he's the hot one Janis: [going to chat to Pete] Jimmy: he ain't here, wouldn't have to @ him if he were Jimmy: the accent ain't that hard to understand Janis: oh well, now he'll pass that along for you Jimmy: Tah Janis: [sits back down like you're welcome] Jimmy: you hungry? Janis: I could eat Jimmy: [gets her whatever sucks the least] Janis: Tah Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Steady on, nowt on the menu's 👍 Janis: that was for you Janis: if I go up to the tip jar now I'll just look keen Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is that for me? Jimmy: Do you see any of my other girlfriends about? Janis: [does fake check] Janis: thankfully not Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: so special Jimmy: you're alright Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I mean it Janis: Alright then Janis: you too Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I don't want your tacked on you an' all Janis: well I mean it too Janis: I can't say it 'cos you got in there first, psh Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: dry your eyes and eat your food, mate Janis: alright, dad Janis: focus on one job at a time Jimmy: edit that nickname a bit and you're good to # Janis: we're not fake there yet Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Sorry Janis: know you're the right age but that's about it Jimmy: RUDE Janis: Shh Jimmy: I will not Jimmy: and there's nowt you can do about it Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't you hate a chatty barista Jimmy: I ain't serving you Jimmy: already have done Janis: yeah, some daddy 😏 Jimmy: funny Janis: you've got my best work for the day Janis: 'til I workout anyway Jimmy: lucky me Janis: don't be rude Janis: saved your life Jimmy: you started it Janis: If you want me to call you that, put it in a contract and get me to sign Janis: that's not rude Jimmy: twist your own arm and 🖋🩸 your own oath, bit busy here Janis: Very impressed Jimmy: admitting how easily you are ain't very 🥇 Jimmy: you might wanna 🤐 Janis: Not got time for sarcasm either? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: When have I ever had time for your pisstaking? Janis: awh 😭 Jimmy: enjoy the 🎻🎻 I left you both your 👂s Janis: well aren't you generous Janis: tell everyone how not hard you go with it Jimmy: that rich v poor divide just keeps rearing it's head #awks Jimmy: and you're in the wrong 🗨 if you reckon every word's getting screenshotted Jimmy: @💀👑 not 😎🚬 Janis: oh, you mean my true love, yeah Jimmy: if the hair extensions fit Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'm gonna go see where they're @ Janis: brb Janis: [out tha door] Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [but watching her go like a forlorn 🐕] Janis: [going to the gym obvs 'cos got to go work this out can't sit in the tension this long without needing a moment] Jimmy: [do some work bitch but not actually because I like to imagine him drawing Twix on a wanted poster but doing an ^ un next to the wanted to sass her and posting that at some point #arthoe] Janis: [puppydog eyes selfie you do not need to send re. that poster] Jimmy: You pull a muscle? Jimmy: Hang on, I'll be right there to carry you out Janis: Defending my lady from your savage and swift pen, thank you very much Jimmy: go on Janis: Come here and I'll 🥊 ya Janis: only got the 🥺'til then, and it's harder to make you 😳 from afar too Janis: besides, wouldn't wanna make your customers even more inappropriate with you, even you don't deserve that, like Jimmy: if the subject of my 🎨 was such a dealbreaker you should've stuck around to be inspiring Jimmy: but alright, the selfie's a start Janis: A start, yeah? Jimmy: you heard Janis: Aside from my blood, what else do you want/require? Jimmy: is that a trick question? Janis: No Janis: wanna be as 🥇 a muse as a fake girlfriend Jimmy: if you were 🥇 you wouldn't need me to tell you owt Janis: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: and you're meant to teach me how to blow smoke rings too Jimmy: I'm due a break, gimme a shout when you're done 💪 Janis: don't you wanna take a break break Janis: my current muse abilities will get me through the day alright Jimmy: and you admitting what hard work you are will get me through this shift alright Janis: that'll be why you want me to come back Jimmy: take both my jobs seriously, me Janis: hard work, I remember Janis: another #kinkunlocked Janis: I can give you that punishment, if you really want Jimmy: hot Janis: of course Janis: not a total amateur Jimmy: fooled me Janis: piss off Jimmy: [a little doodle he's drawn of her based on that selfie she sent but a deliberately quick one so we don't get into the #feels of drawing her properly yet] Janis: 🎨🖌 Jimmy: you looked cute Jimmy: [cos gotta steal her words from earlier] Janis: dead convincing, babe 😏 Janis: am I still coming or have you powered through with that picture? Jimmy: Do you still wanna come or are you too 😍💕 to be around me now you've 👀 that masterpiece? Janis: Obviously I need a moment Jimmy: duh Janis: not just to shower or anything, like Janis: full swooning time Jimmy: I get it, making lasses go weak at the knees is my full time occupation Jimmy: ☕ just a prop Janis: Do you pay tax on that? Jimmy: Who sounds like a dad now? Janis: 💰💰 is all I care about, of course Jimmy: with the wrong lad then Janis: take the bragging right of being just that good then, eh Jimmy: you trying to make me 😳 from afar? Jimmy: never stop, you Janis: that a request or a comment? Jimmy: What do you reckon? Janis: Maybe I'll pretend it's the option I prefer regardless Jimmy: can do Janis: tah for the permission Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: I mostly meant it and all 😘 Jimmy: never said owt you don't, obvs 😘 Janis: especially not to you, baby Jimmy: stop making me miss you if you ain't showing up Janis: Stop distracting me and I'll be with you sooner Jimmy: you started it Janis: I purposely left so I didn't Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you did it before you left Janis: when? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I wanna know what distracted you Jimmy: you do Janis: Okay Janis: I wish you would tell me Jimmy: I don't have the words Jimmy: Bill's 👻 ain't here Janis: What's his order? Janis: tell me that Jimmy: Macchiato Jimmy: he's a slag for espresso but he 💕 foam 🎨 Janis: 😂 Janis: good answer, you really know all your customers Jimmy: that employee of the month 🏆 as good as has Jamie on it Janis: wait Janis: 😑 ugh Jimmy: ? Janis: Jamie isn't real Jimmy: What? Jimmy: 'course he is Jimmy: 👀 right at him Janis: 💔 Janis: why would you hurt me like this Janis: I was so excited to 👀 him Jimmy: He's got all the words for how distracting you are Jimmy: I probably shouldn't let you see him Janis: Please Jimmy: I dunno, he's a bit keen Janis: how keen? Jimmy: Bill'd be about it Janis: intriguing Jimmy: he is that Janis: How can I meet him? Jimmy: Haven't you got a plan? Jimmy: must not be that keen yourself Janis: I've only got to prove to Jamie how keen I am Jimmy: 🤞 he's easier to impress than me Janis: as easy as you are to make blush, I'll be 🤤 Jimmy: unless it's as easy as you are to make 😳 you'll be 💔 Janis: Do you want me to be 💔? Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Won't it be awkward for you? Janis: me and Jamie Jimmy: You doing this to try and make shit awkward for me? Bill will be gutted he missed the #drama Janis: That's not what I'm trying to do Jimmy: We've covered that I don't care what you do, Jules Janis: That's alright then Janis: I'll crack on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you've made me so 😭 Jimmy: Baby Janis: make it up to me? Jimmy: how? Janis: hmm Jimmy: Oi, don't leave me in suspense Janis: I mean, what's a fair trade for making Jamie so hot and so fake really Janis: you owe me more than a cigarette Jimmy: nowt ain't fair trade here, what do you want? Janis: 😏 Janis: nerd Jimmy: hate to disappoint Janis: Baby, you could never Jimmy: if you're 😭 I've let myself down though Janis: depends Janis: that lot are so permanently 😭 they must consider it goals Jimmy: Nah, you just can't put nowt they do in the #goals category Janis: you know how to make me 😊 Jimmy: you look so goals when you are, I have to Jimmy: it's a 🥇😊 Janis: 😳 easy, yeah Jimmy: take the 🏆 Janis: alright Jimmy: is it? Janis: why wouldn't it be? Jimmy: It's not usually that easy Janis: you've told me three times now, hard work Jimmy: I know, it were me who said it Janis: yeah Janis: a lot gets said Jimmy: loads of # an' all Janis: it's like reading between the lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: okay, convo 💀 got it Jimmy: come on Janis: Bill's is a macchiato, so I've heard Jimmy: He'll take a cold brew if it's ☀ Janis: Make me hate him more, honestly Jimmy: he's just trying to stay #relevant Janis: oh Bill 💔 Janis: ain't we all? Jimmy: would love to be irrelevant, me Jimmy: it's a hard life being this fit and mysterious 🎻💔 Janis: preaching to the preacher Janis: what a cross to bear Jimmy: don't rub it in that he's only got 😍 for you, girl Jimmy: 💔👴 Jimmy: I'm so 😭😭 and 😠😠 Janis: Oh baby boy Janis: I don't think a sexy old man costume is gonna be convincing enough Janis: gotta let you spread your wings Jimmy: too right it won't Janis: Well, I'm so SORRY I'm not enough for you! Jimmy: you should be Janis: you are so rude OMG Jimmy: you're so young and fit, it's well out of order Jimmy: what am I meant to do with that? Jimmy: gimme something to work with here, for fuck's sake Janis: God, when I signed up for a pervy older boyfriend, this is NOT how I imagined it Janis: fetishize my innocence ffs! Janis: like, you aren't even gonna try and use my inexperience to your advantage, WTF?! Jimmy: I dunno what to tell you, Joanne, dad's are a disappointment Jimmy: fucked if that weren't the type of daddy you were hoping for Janis: 😂 Janis: my own ain't such goals I'm tryna get another just like him, nah Jimmy: and I ain't got the 💰💰💰 so that's pissed on that angle Janis: guess it don't make no sense to keep you about Jimmy: on you go Jimmy: keep walking Janis: it's not been real Jimmy: it were real, baby and we were 🥇 Janis: 💕 Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Jimmy: nowt to live for now Janis: nowt to die for either Janis: but if you're ready to take that break now, Mr Brightside Janis: [showing up outside like hello] Jimmy: [appears as fast as he can considering he's meant to be working hard] Janis: ['alright?'] Jimmy: ['you?' because can never answer anything ugh] Janis: [nods but the slightly awkward vibe again 'cos becoming less clear what's fake, what's pisstake and what's real every day yo] Jimmy: [ain't that the tea, lights them both a 🚬 cos of course he does] Janis: [takes it, grateful for the distraction as per, after a while, getting more comfortable in front of him again 'you are a dickhead though'] Jimmy: [gives her such an offended look like excuse you 'yeah but what've I done now?'] Janis: [taps his name badge like hi, Jamie but smirks and shrugs 'don't actually owe me anything for it though, guess I see the potential funny side of it when you're surrounded by dull basic bitches all day every day, like'] Jimmy: [takes off the badge and chucks it dramatically even though he'll have to pick that up before he goes back in but the gesture stands like ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?] Janis: [lols 'yes, that is exactly what I wanted, you nutter'] Jimmy: ['Good'] Janis: [just doing the thing where you're trying not to look so you just keep doing lots of little looks] Jimmy: ['What we doing in a bit?' because you're already thinking about her leaving after this and you don't want to not see her later] Janis: [shrugs again 'until our peers actually wake up and plan parties, the diary's free' 'cos most teens are so lazy compared to these two so who knows yet, oh I was thinking though we should do a rave and/or a festival moment with them in this hol both would work well as prolonged fake dating but also the scenes are busy enough they wouldn't have to be ON the whole time but we know they would 'cos shameless] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaaaaaas I love that, we could totally do both like a rave in a warehouse moment that's just a night but then a festival that's a couple of days maybe because he'd be so ! about leaving the kids behind then but not something he can take them to] Jimmy: ['we could do' cos imagine them trying to plan a party please] Janis: [I agree, I think they're both valid plans, 'cos everyone could be at both, so we can have whatever we wanna/need to happen happen] Janis: [raises her brows like whaaaa but then tilts her head like she's thinking about it 'well we are basically prom king and queen of the moment so'] Jimmy: ['I get that you might be worried 'cause of being a massively shit host but you'll have me' 😏] Janis: [tuts at him loudly 'like I actually want any of the cunts 'round here to ever have a good time' a look like do you know who you're talking to rn but then 😏 'would be worth it to beat them at their own game though, obviously'] Jimmy: ['we need somewhere we can properly trash, so we can have a good time if nowt else' because not doing it at his gaff cos of the kids as much as I'd love to annoy Ian and we want somewhere aesthetic because art hoe] Janis: [taps her head like good idea and now I'm thinking on it] Jimmy: ['I hadn't forgot I owed you one, babe, but you've still gotta help a new boy out on the actual where, soz' scrunches his face up like ugh I know, I'm the WORST] Janis: [squishing his squishy face always 'don't reckon even MY bathroom is big enough to host a decent party, sadly' #bathgateforever] Jimmy: [grins because that's given him an idea 'Alright but how badly do you want your REAL boyfriend's and biggest fan's attention? 'cause there's one place I've yet to get lost on my way to'] Janis: [the IRL equivalent of ? but excited with it like tell me bitch] Jimmy: ['how about we do it at school, my dear'] Janis: ['okay, that's a really fucking good idea' the biggest 😈 grin] Jimmy: [when you're buzzing because you thought she'd say no because of all the possible trouble you could get in, which we know is why you're doing it Jimothy the mood being fuck you Ian 5eva] Janis: [little do you know how ready she is to burn it all to the ground at any point lmao 'I'd kiss you if that weren't a punishment'] Jimmy: [irl 😘 'you know how Bill feels about lasses who doth protest'] Janis: [when we all know you meant it the other way 'round and the temptation to say as much is REAL but trumped by the desire to see this plan through/keep being 'friends' so you just smirk and hit him with a 'yeah, yeah' and move on with details 'I reckon most people will be dead up for it, long as they can run and deny all knowledge of the who and the how when shit hits the fan, like'] Jimmy: ['tonight then?' because the EGO of this boy who thinks he can pull this together and off in a few hours] Janis: ['why not' flicking the remains of her cigarette away with a flourish 'use how fast news travels 'round here to our advantage, as per' shrugs 'standard, really'] Jimmy: ['the dress code's black, that's the hill I'll die on' flips down imaginary 😎] Janis: ['fine by me' runs tongue across imaginary fangs like duh 'they can always fall back on their school uniform if they get stuck, bit cliche for my taste but they are so' a what can you do? shrug] Jimmy: ['pjs for you, girl, better hit the shops now if you're down to the emergency pink pair, like' shrugs back but 😏 as he looks at his actual real watch] Janis: [rolls her eyes at the suggestion and the implication she wears pink PJs, pushes him gently towards the door 'get back to work so we can get to work sooner, I'll catch you later'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because he does not want to gdi but then has to add an OTT pout because too real] Janis: [likewise so obviously has to be as OTT back 'parting is such sweet sorrow, yeah babe?'] Jimmy: [when you just hug her again like you did earlier before you can stop yourself like okay this is a thing we're doing with each other now bye] Janis: [just leaning into that like you're such a hugger usually sure] Jimmy: [we're just friends who casually hug yep] Janis: [so casual] Jimmy: [go back in and try not be distracted by your feelings and your big plans boy] Janis: are we taking credit or are we putting this out anon? Jimmy: Don't you want the 🏆? Janis: you just want a reunion with your 👮 pals, obvs Janis: I don't care, it'll out either way so may as well own it, I guess, if you're alright with that too Jimmy: You said you wanted to beat these dickheads at their own game, bit hard to do if they don't know we're playing Janis: can't cough without 10 people commenting on it 'round here anyway Janis: and who else would actually have such a 🔥💡 either Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 👍 Janis: no need to post yet, do it closer to the time it causes more hype/no time for it to get shut down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You done this before? Janis: Party planning or breaking into the school? Jimmy: I already know you break into the school regularly for secret trysts with your 💕 Janis: no need when he's got the key 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: There's every need when he's 😍😍🤤 for danger Jimmy: unless his ultimate #kinkunlocked is your innocence Janis: Can only assume he 👂 to all those virgin rumours Jimmy: until I came about and he discovered he's all about that cuckold life Janis: all 👀 now Janis: from inside the wardrobe or whatever the fuck 😬😂 Jimmy: be loads of places he can 👀 tonight Janis: True Janis: loads of places to hide too, at least Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: such an athlete, nowt you can do but run Janis: Not scared of you, like Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: first thing I learned about you is how 🙀 you are Janis: Well, no need to insult your intelligence rn Jimmy: #notthickjustnorthern Janis: 'course, hun 😘 Jimmy: ILY babes 💕 Jimmy: tah for keeping it so real with me there Janis: you know me, keep it 💯👌🙏 Jimmy: fave thing about you, that Janis: Awh Janis: so cute! 💖 Jimmy: you know me, never off Janis: OMG, that's like, totally in my top 3 favourite things about you Janis: so crazy Jimmy: 🤖 kink unlocked 🎟 please Janis: erm have you know none of my friends require batteries THANKS Jimmy: 'cause none of 'em are fwb obvs Janis: do you reckon this party is the time or place to announce that downgrade in relationship Janis: get it together 👏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: If you've got a 📢 to hand? Jimmy: well I were gonna say on Mr Lucas but now I'm fuming that you're doubting the size of my gob Jimmy: Asia would never Jimmy: she knows 📏 matters Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll make sure to spread that 'round then, if that's the new rep you want Jimmy: if you ain't got enough to do, I'll @ my manager about some shifts we've got going Jimmy: put a decent enough word in for you, mate Janis: I'll go in for the cliche getting the hot one to train me but then I'm getting sacked before any of the skeleton gang comes through Jimmy: I would but I'm forced to spend enough time with you as is Janis: 🙄 you and your big head can get out the way, tah Jimmy: it's proper sweet of you to fake failing eyesight for me but you still ain't 👵💕 soz Janis: I knew you'd end up going fully dellusional Janis: gonna take ages to deprogram you 🤖 Jimmy: just hit the kill switch Janis: don't 👻 or @ me 'til I've finished my trial shift, thank you Janis: RIP 🌹 Jimmy: Ugh Jimmy: so hard to please, you Jimmy: 🥀💔 Janis: just tryna save your lil ghostie 👀 and 🖤 Janis: 'less you're really the one who's into waiting in the cupboard 🤔 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Will do Janis: got shit to get, PJs to cop Jimmy: RIP to my concentration Jimmy: such a distracting mental image, that Janis: was your request Janis: so entirely your fault Jimmy: you doing what you're told now? 🤤🤤😍 Janis: Depends Jimmy: ? Janis: just how pink the selection is Jimmy: duh, I should've worked that one out Janis: also if I can find any without the sassy slogans slapped all over Jimmy: #whenyou'retoobittertobejuicy Janis: 😱 Janis: how Janis: DARE Janis: you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: no matching set for you now Jimmy: 💔😭 Jimmy: Baby please Janis: You'll have to dress yourself now Janis: as a straight lad, we all know you're incapable Jimmy: come on, be nice to me Janis: Why? Janis: you're so mean to me Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: never Janis: and now you're gonna gaslight me Janis: so typical 👌 Jimmy: Truce? Janis: Hmm Janis: calling that suspiciously fast Jimmy: No kid wants to have a party where their mum and dad are scrapping in the back Janis: Alright Janis: though I did not agree to raise any child with you Jimmy: I'll chuck the bag of flour before I get there then Jimmy: ain't named it or owt Janis: awh it looks like you Janis: so sweet 😂 Jimmy: might have to call him Jamie Janis: insensitive tbh Jimmy: don't sound like me at all Jimmy: is this gonna be the shortest truce EVER or what? Janis: if you're happy for me to be wistfully thinking about Jamie all the time Janis: then crack on, no arguments here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Oh Jamie Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: wish the school had a balcony Janis: fuck knows where I'm lamenting from Jimmy: get on the roof, girl Janis: 💀 pact request or? Janis: either way 👍 Jimmy: You still taking on board my requests or? Jimmy: #didwepeakwithpjs? Janis: wishing you used your wishes more wisely now? Jimmy: Is that a trick question? Jimmy: there's nowt wiser Jimmy: get you some slippers and we're near to 💕👵 Janis: 🖕 Dickhead Janis: the idea is to make everyone else 😩 not you Jimmy: we do Jimmy: nowt I can do about your face Jimmy: or your body Janis: devastating news Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it Jimmy: old news Janis: let me mourn, god Jimmy: crack on Janis: [later] Janis: you out yet Jimmy: What do you need a hand to carry now? Janis: rude Janis: I'm bored Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: where are you? Janis: [a random location in town] Janis: been reminded why I hate shopping Jimmy: you don't wanna take #goals selfies with me then? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: obviously Janis: gotta get something out of it Jimmy: meet me at [somewhere they can be goals af] Jimmy: 🤞 I don't get lost Janis: Come on Janis: you must know your way a bit by now Janis: not that far Jimmy: yeah go there all the time, me Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'll start walking Janis: don't wanna make another poster Jimmy: but you LOVED the first one I done Janis: you're very talented Jimmy: 🙄🖕 Janis: Take a compliment, boy Jimmy: Give one that ain't a pisstake, girl Janis: Ugh Janis: that might be a challenge too far Jimmy: then like I said 🙄🖕 Jimmy: and you shut up, trying to get my bearings here Janis: you're adorable when you're lost Janis: that's sincere Jimmy: Where the fuck? Jimmy: this town is some bollocks Jimmy: can't find nowt Janis: See, precious Janis: did you live in a town before or like down a mine or whatever the fuck Jimmy: canary in a little cage, me Jimmy: just a lad and his 🎻 Jimmy: just the one 🥧 crust to ration out Janis: 💔 Janis: we get it, you can act alright 😏 Janis: the sob story ain't gonna save you now Jimmy: Are you gonna? Janis: don't I always? Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Janis: Tweet it so I know it's real Jimmy: [cue dramatic and 💕 tweet about how she's his saviour etc] Janis: coming for your 🥇 pisstaker 👑 with that one Janis: fairplay Jimmy: well I actually need you, bit real that Jimmy: if I said it I'd have to 💀💀💀 or worse, delete Janis: 🤐 Janis: I'll never tell, don't worry Jimmy: using you like a sat nav ain't very #goals Jimmy: reckon the secret's safe Janis: you mean your lack of direction isn't Janis: how unmanly of you Jimmy: it's a crap shag rumour waiting to happen Jimmy: Asia would dump me and my life would be OVER Janis: Nah, blind loyalty is their only redeeming quality Janis: 💀👑 ain't even tried to fuck them and they still stick around Jimmy: In fairness she'd probably ⚰ if she did have a go Janis: says you Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: your stamina ain't braggable with those lungs Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU Janis: whoops Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: could run rings around you, smoke and actual Janis: there's fake and then there's madness Jimmy: there's 🙀 and then there's you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: Who's scared? Janis: Literally any time you wanna have an asthma attack, babe Janis: I'm ready Jimmy: yeah right Jimmy: all chat, you Jimmy: ain't even found me Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: ❌ marks the northern lad Jimmy: get a move on Janis: shut up then Jimmy: If you need a hand that desperately I'll send you 🚬☁ signals Janis: [showing up like hilarious] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna jump into her arms like a damsel in distress but obvs does not] Janis: [puts her arms straight down at her side like won't catch you boy] Jimmy: [does a pouty face and puts his hand out like hold it or I'll get lost again] Janis: [🙄 but does it, obvs] Jimmy: [deliberately goes the wrong way because nerd] Janis: [swinging him 'round like nope] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['can you drive?'] Jimmy: ['Are we stealing a car before or after the break in?' because he can but he can't answer a q] Janis: [shrugs 'I can take the speakers from home without it being suspicious but if I ask to drop 'em off at the school, like' gestures like you see my point 'someone will pick us up for a crate, no big'] Jimmy: ['I could take my dad's car but I dunno if they'll fit' shrugs 'be gutted he didn't get that very important memo about how much size matters'] Janis: ['yeah?' bites lip whilst thinking, tapping foot up and down 'should fit, just put the backseats down'] Jimmy: [when she looks so good biting her lip that you nearly lose yourself in the music AND the moment 'Alright' because he knows he's gonna get in trouble for this anyway and that's the whole point, in for a penny in for a pound] Janis: ['first stop yours then? whilst he's still at work' when you're looking like are you sure but you aren't going to ask] Jimmy: [typical that he lives right by the school and she lives 42 years away lol 'owt else we need from here?' gestures around vaguely with a 😒 face like ugh shops and people gross] Janis: ['better get that crate still, party'll supply itself but I still want some shit for us'] Jimmy: [nods and gives her a look like better get several cos can't resist calling her a pisshead] Janis: [pushes him lightly 'oh, and how many packs do you need to get through, Mr. Buzzkill?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic idk there's no way to know gesture 'such a lad, me, with SUCH good stamina] Janis: [😏 'come on then' and dragging him towards the shop like let's hurry it up] Jimmy: ['get ready for your close up and we can do the photo shoot in the car'] Janis: ['born ready- with this face, and this body' 'cos we ain't forgotten] Jimmy: [trying not to 😳 so hard rn] Janis: [knows and is buzzing about that payback] Jimmy: [lowkey nearly pushing her into some women having a chat in the way of everyone cos that playful shove] Janis: [unrepentantly not soz at those women but 😒 at him] Jimmy: [😏 to hide that he is soz cos didn't mean to do it that hard] Janis: [shoving all the booze at him like go get this but giving him the cash too 'cos not that mad] Jimmy: [does because whipped] Janis: I'm off out 'fore I get lynched Janis: you can find your way back from the tills without me, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Adorable Jimmy: Shh Janis: Stop being so damn cute Janis: never getting served with that baby face Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You're too young and I'm too 😎 Janis: Spoilsport Jimmy: few drinks in me and you'll be 🍑📞 Jimmy: hang on in there, baby Janis: yeah Janis: gonna look top in my pjs Janis: who could resist Jimmy: have to be a 💪🏆 lad than me and there ain't none about Janis: Tah for being so real about my chances, like Jimmy: what are mates for? Janis: gonna hold my hair back too? Jimmy: yeah Janis: looking for a promotion to bezzies forever Jimmy: it's just always in my fucking way Janis: ? Jimmy: your hair Janis: oh Janis: fair Janis: if you didn't always go for the neck, would be less of an issue Jimmy: Alright, I can take a hint Jimmy: tonight I'll kiss you somewhere else Janis: [not answering 'cos 😳] Jimmy: [when you think she's not answering because she's like GOD NO levels of horrified] Janis: [ah miscommunication, least she is literally outside so we don't need to angst] Jimmy: [coming out cos job done, take a sec to impress her with how strong you are carrying all that shit] Janis: [lil clap and feeling his biceps like Prue] Jimmy: [🙄 but loves it] Janis: ['back to yours now?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you proper miss her' shout out to Twix] Janis: [nods like 'course 'and we need to get changed to meet your self-imposed dresscode; good as you look'] Jimmy: [looks down and shrugs cos it's probably black tbh but we know you ain't going like that boy] Janis: ['and you have a car to steal' like need I remind you of the plan] Jimmy: ['ain't really stealing if you just grab the keys of the hook, but alright' keeping this so casual] Janis: ['trust you to wanna make it legal and boring' 👮 ref 'still not got insurance or a license, even if you are 45'] Jimmy: [a look like OI so offended 'loads of ways we can make the drive less boring, if you wanna get involved, Jill' stop making it so sexual thank you we all know that's what you mean] Janis: ['Obviously' a LOOK for good measure 'cos we all know what you mean 'not gonna make you do it alone, not very friendly' taking some of the supplies like see] Jimmy: [such a LOOK back] Janis: [don't drop your shopping lads] Jimmy: [that'd be awks, at least they don't have that far to go for this leg of the journey cos he doesn't live in the middle of nowhere] Janis: [shoutout ian for that one thing and one thing only] Jimmy: [when you gesture for her to light you a 🚬 for this one time only because your hands are full af] Janis: [thrilled about the novelty of that tbh] Jimmy: [don't think about how she'd have to get it out of his pocket and put it in his mouth and all that jazz #accidentalhotness] Janis: [its a mood and a moment and we're just trying to get home without dying here, also gonna have one herself 'cos duh] Jimmy: [so much eye contact goodbye] Janis: ['you're fully aware how much shit we're gonna get in, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic OTT gasp like it only just occurred to him just then] Janis: [nudges him like but really though] Jimmy: [looks down at all the shit he's carrying 'bit late for you to back out, but if you're gonna, go on, we can still half this'] Janis: [shakes her head 'nah, I know, I'm making sure you do, so we're good then'] Jimmy: ['not thick, just northern'] Janis: ['alright, hail of bullets it is then, babe'] Jimmy: ['that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me' cos have to lighten the mood when you know it'll be BAD when Ian finds out about any of this and like you want that but you also don't] Janis: [😏 'yeah, yeah'] Jimmy: [strutting along but in non-awkward silence for a bit] Janis: [living laughing loving like you're not about to get in so much trouble lolollol] Jimmy: [do we wanna skip to his gaff so no other moments happen along the way lol?] Janis: [probably, let's not get carried away yet when there's a whole night ahead] Jimmy: [you're still sober rn lads give it time] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [when he'd have to check in with Cass and Bobby before he can even do anything else remotely, making them cups of tea and food and all kinds of bollocks, you better have walked that dog while he was at work kids we don't have time] Janis: [forever awkwardly there like hello] Jimmy: [like excuse him while he has a little argument with his sister cos she's had bobby all day and he's only just got back and he's basically gonna go straight back out] Janis: [soz girl, just going outside so they can do this in private like you're gonna smoke but you definitely ain't] Jimmy: [he's right back to being stressed because what a day we're having Jimothy, trying to do everything you gotta do with a clingy little bro in your face rn] Janis: [the joys of being an unwilling parent to your siblings truly] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's forced them on the trampoline like let's all calm down] Janis: need me to do anything? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 us Janis: us in the singular or us as in me and you or us as in you want me to family anihilate Janis: the important questions save from awkward misunderstandings later Jimmy: right now I ain't that fussy, babe Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: it's impressive Janis: I'll put the drink in the car Jimmy: 💕 Janis: set up the hose and all Janis: whenever you're ready, babe Jimmy: I read that you meant for a 🚿 Jimmy: about to bring up that rich v poor divide again there Janis: as much as the neighbours would be 👀 behind their curtains Jimmy: 👵💕👴 Jimmy: proper cheered me and Doris an' all, tah Jules Janis: any time Jimmy: you can use our actual 🚿 if you need though Jimmy: sight of you would 💀💀💀 her off Janis: Cheers Janis: couldn't hurt, even if there's no decent lads to pull 💔 Jimmy: that screenshot is being @ed to Mr Lucas Jimmy: such a heartbreaker you Janis: s'alright, just tell him he's a man not a lad Janis: answer for everything me 😇 Jimmy: get out of my bathroom actually I've gotta 🤢🤢 Janis: so jealous, so immature Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: how mature's that? 😘 Janis: SO impressive Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: you know it Janis: of course Janis: I am getting in now though so if you're actually gonna come in, bring your 📷 or don't, like Jimmy: that ain't fair, I already know what an exhibitionist you are, gimme a new kink to unlock Janis: I'm not making it any easier for you Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: not even 🥉 behaviour, that Janis: sort it out Jimmy: Alright, dickhead, appreciate the shot's fired but I still ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: Shame Janis: and no 🎟 for that one either, I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: there's your 🚿🎵 Janis: Tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [after a suitable shower time] Janis: your turn Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [awkward meetcute on the landing] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [also she'll either be in a towel or in what she's wearing so either way we can assume 😍] Jimmy: [we all know what you'll be doing in that shower boy] Janis: [oohlala] Jimmy: [at least Ian ain't there to lament his water bill] Janis: [gonna have bigger problems soon soz not soz dickhead] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [meanwhile not lowkey knowing where to put yourself rn, 'cos you don't wanna get up in the kids grill but also feels presumptuous just being in his room but ultimately where you're gonna be 'cos can style that out better] Jimmy: [bowl in with your towel on to make this more awkward] Janis: [just like um ah sorry run lmao] Jimmy: [put your clothes on and go find her sir] Janis: [just chilling by the car probably] Jimmy: [open the door for her thank you] Janis: [tipping your imaginary hat] Jimmy: [illegal driving time, don't die please] Janis: [to her house, which whilst so much faster in a car, still forever lol] Jimmy: [put your easter rising playlist on kids] Janis: [soundtrack to your love tbh] Jimmy: [and don't forget to stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere for your photoshoot moment] Janis: [so important, vital, some would say, ie yous two] Jimmy: [it's been an age by your standards cos he didn't post the bench moment the fans need #content 👌] Janis: [when that was too #personal we all know it] Jimmy: [whenever her actual name gets used it's too personal that's the tea] Janis: [no pretending then] Jimmy: [lbr there's barely any even this early on] Janis: [when you're just bad at this but that works in favour of being believed 'cos it's real lmao] Jimmy: [imagine if it was all fake like alright well bye] Janis: [you thought lads] Jimmy: [they'd have to be 🤖] Janis: [and you ain't, despite efforts bitch] Jimmy: [just like imma spend all this time with you and chat with you always but idc tho] Janis: [so realistic, the facts are if you actually intended to fake date you would have to do so little to make it seem legit, you don't need to really date lol] Jimmy: [literally could have do what Buster did for like 3 years and made someone up, he could've easily pretended he'd left someone up north but no] Janis: [like we know these girls are pushy but come on lol] Jimmy: [he's perfectly capable of being an antisocial dickhead and getting them to lose interest] Janis: [mhmm lmao, we see you, idk why we're shading as if this isn't out plan, like admit you fancied each other!!!1] Jimmy: [when it's a bestselling book/netflix show peeps gonna be shouting] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do we wanna do a skip or have you got anything you wanna do on this drive while they bonnie and clyde 39ing it] Janis: [hmmmmm, part of me wants to do it but maybe we should skip idk] Jimmy: [if you wanna do it gal we shall 😘] Janis: [tings could happen as they do] Jimmy: [thank god he needs to keep his eyes on the road because I can only imagine how 🔥 she looks rn] Janis: [I need to find pics but defs a lewk, totally for your benefit whether we're admitting that or obvs not, boy] Jimmy: [I'm being cockblocked as standard but he'd be serving a lewk also in the effortless way he do] Janis: [we're all 😍 up in here but still, conversation lmao 'did your dad teach you to drive?'] Jimmy: [such a bitter laugh because Ian would never 'I get it, the deathwish is a strong one, but let's get the party over and done with first, yeah?' because you know Ian would be a crap driver all that road rage] Janis: [obvs senses that's a no-go topic area and nods 'works for me, not a very cool way to die, 'less we're driving off a cliff' ha ha mems bye] Jimmy: ['controlling carpet salesman is more your type than the easy-going musician which is awkward' cos the musician's name is Jimmy I lol 'and you love a flirtatious stranger an' all'] Janis: [lols 'well, what a drag, not even gonna counter it because would LOVE a new carpet right about now'] Jimmy: [looks down at the floor of the car like understandable 'if you could keep your legs closed for a bit so all my savings don't get nicked by some obvs irresistible dickhead, I'd love that though'] Janis: ['I make no promises' 😏] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ugh what am I gonna do with you] Janis: ['am I the hot one or nah though?'] Jimmy: ['Your shit taste is well documented' like you tell me] Janis: [shrugs like boy idk 'not got it memorized' 'cos lowkey has no clue] Jimmy: [shrugs back like neither do I as if he didn't just drop all that plot on her] Janis: [🙄 'well now I'll never know just how much of a drag it was'] Jimmy: ['I'm the hot one, you should know that'] Janis: [offended noises] Jimmy: [poke her like excuse you but keep 👀 on the road so god knows where that hand is gonna land] Janis: [flapping his hand away like get off 'I am not willing to say you're the hot one, thank you'] Jimmy: ['what are you willing to say then?' why you gotta be so flirty boyy] Janis: [raises her hand like she's swearing in court ['the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God'] Jimmy: ['sleepover was the other night, mate'] Janis: ['they weren't having no game of truth or dare with us' face like I wonder why lmao] Jimmy: ['gonna need you to take one for the team and express my heartbreak' cos he can't do 💔 hands while driving] Janis: [does 'though you're the only one not playing nice right now so, think on'] Jimmy: [risking a look at her like ?] Janis: ['we could play right now' like duh] Jimmy: ['what dares can I do with both hands on the wheel?'] Janis: [snorts 'don't tempt me' but shakes her head 'called TRUTH OR dare, just pick truth, and I gave you the chance to ask me first anyway'] Jimmy: ['I can't be pulling over every time you want me to do something' and a LOOK soz drivers 'but alright' cos can't turn down a challenge ever] Janis: ['you can keep your hands where I can see 'em at all times, promise' returning that LOOK but being 😳 by the time he's turned 'round 'go on then, ask me something interesting'] Jimmy: ['Nah, lasses first, gimme a dare, if you can think of owt'] Janis: [a sigh like fgs boy 'no, alright, let me think then' humming and tapping your lip to show how hard you're thinking about this 'alright, truthfully, if you HAD to bang one of the flat whites, who would you pick?] Jimmy: ['your sister' because honestly Grace is the least annoying not just cos Janis is not gonna be happy about it though that's a bonus] Janis: [retches 'shut up and pick someone else'] Jimmy: ['Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it'] Janis: ['it's not the truth, you're a dick'] Jimmy: ['Yeah it is'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [nudges her like cheer up] Janis: [just shifting your body out of reach like no] Jimmy: ['Stop being a dickhead'] Janis: ['You first'] Jimmy: ['It were your question, I'd be a dickhead if I never answered'] Janis: ['we're not playing anymore'] Jimmy: [sighs but doesn't say anything] Janis: [turning up the music] Jimmy: [awkwardly driving] Janis: [getting herself a drink from the back probably very inelegantly climbing over all the shit, which is a bit rude but here we are] Jimmy: [a long enough pause that he easily could have dropped the topic but has not 'who did you want me to fuck'] Janis: ['Literally anyone but my sister, it's not hard'] Jimmy: ['would be' because ew imagine any of them and him] Janis: ['forget it'] Jimmy: ['You first'] Janis: ['fuck off, I don't have to do anything'[ Jimmy: ['I don't have to fuck your sister, it were just a game'] Janis: ['go for it, it's such an easy choice, like'] Jimmy: ['shut up, I don't wanna go for it'] Janis: ['whatever'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like what the fuck are we doing this for if I was just gonna get with any of them, don't crash please] Janis: ['stop looking at me and focus'] Jimmy: [dramatically but safely thank you pulls over so he can just stare her out because that bitch] Janis: ['what are you doing?'] Jimmy: ['What are you doing?' so annoying] Janis: [the exasperation just like bitch, getting out 'I'm walking'] Jimmy: [obviously also gets out 'you're being a massive twat'] Janis: ['then get back in your car and leave me alone'] Jimmy: ['no'] Janis: ['well I'm not getting back in'] Jimmy: ['Well it's getting left here then, wherever the fuck here is'] Janis: ['Don't be ridiculous'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: ['I've not done anything wrong, I want to walk, go away' pushing him in the general direction of the car] Jimmy: [gets back in the car like fine but it's not fine] Janis: [just sitting on the side of the road fuming 'cos you've not even got the speakers yet] Jimmy: [when you can't even have a drink #gutted] Janis: go to my house Janis: I'll tell my brother you're coming to pick the gear up Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: get in Janis: don't look at me don't talk to me Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [gets in and slams the door] Jimmy: [well this is fun kids, but hey at least we're moving again] Janis: [dramatically looking out this window] Jimmy: [turns the music up even more] Janis: [turns it down 'cos petty] Jimmy: [is so 😒 but leaves it] Janis: [get these speakers quick] Jimmy: [imagine the weird vibe when they do, oooh someone's had a domestic] Janis: [also gotta hope said sibling doesn't dob you in 'cos Jimmy is not old enough to be driving we all know this] Jimmy: [also hope Grace isn't home cos AWKWARD] Janis: [safe to say you will not be coming to this soiree anyway] Jimmy: [thank goodness none of them are for a multitude of reasons] Janis: [just both dying to be out this car now, on your phone giving people details so at least you've got an excuse/something to do] Jimmy: [what a hilarious drive back that would be] Janis: ['everyone's coming'] Jimmy: [nods in recognition of her saying that but we all know he's not bothered rn] Janis: [what if she invited Pete though] Jimmy: [BITCH OMG DO IT] Janis: [dragging you into this soz boy] Jimmy: [because they haven't been coupley af at his work yet or anything and neither of them has really interacted with him so it makes it more blatant] Janis: [gotta be done] Jimmy: [I am living] Janis: [we can probably skip now we aren't getting past this lol] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, like all he's gonna do is get back dump the shit then take the car back and check the kids are okay and then walk back to the school all in a moody silence so] Janis: [we know the vibe, blatantly taking advantage of how fast this party is gonna get out of control to avoid each other] Jimmy: [raid Ian's stash while you're there boy because stronger stuff that's so needed] Janis: [sudden life and soul like excuse me whilst I talk to everyone and accept all the drinks etc] Jimmy: [the fakest she's ever been] Janis: [hostess with the mostest] Jimmy: [we all know that's a fuck you too cos he called her a shit host] Janis: [getting turnt, locating Pete] Jimmy: [he's straight up gonna drag her away from that boy, soz pete] Janis: [he's gonna be so confused like hello? meanwhile 'well, that was rude'] Jimmy: [having to style it out to everyone like I just really miss her excuse me 'rude is right, what did you invite him for?'] Janis: [shrugs 'cos he's cool?'] Jimmy: ['how the fuck would you know?'] Janis: ['I talked to him' that was barely an exchange but pop-off 'anyway, there are so many people here, what does it matter?'] Jimmy: [😒 af but you can pretend it goes with what you're about to say 'my manager gonna turn up in a bit an' all or what?'] Janis: ['if he's cool too, maybe'] Jimmy: [walking away but giving her a look like you're such a dick] Janis: ['great talk' shouted after him] Jimmy: ['if you were cool, might've been' shouted back because so mature] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: ['Open with that, next lad you have a great talk with'] Janis: ['Thanks for the suggestion' and walking away to get fully lost in this crowd] Jimmy: [likewise walking off to somewhere he can be on his own or as close to that as we're getting in this chaos] Janis: [least there is an abudance of classrooms, they can't all be full yet] Jimmy: [get drunker because what could go wrong there] Janis: [oh lord, the only way is down] Jimmy: [I've just had the MOST EVIL thought because Pete also smokes do you see where I'm going with this] Janis: [I think I do you lil shrew] Jimmy: [not actually a MOMENT but when you're jealous af everything's a moment] Janis: [is nothing sacred] Jimmy: [how dare you smoke with other hot baristas] Janis: [you don't even smoke lol] Jimmy: [so yeah do you wanna do that? 😈] Janis: [why not, we're out here fucking everything up now] Jimmy: [when you're straight up just gonna try and leave this party boy please I'm not allowing that] Janis: [when you don't even get why he's just immediately turned around so offended so you think it's purely 'cos he doesn't want to see you rn so you go off into the main hall again like okay] Janis: go smoke, I've moved now Jimmy: go where you like Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: erm why Jimmy: 1. you heard me before, fuck who you want but don't make me look a twat Jimmy: 2. I don't need to be here Jimmy: 3. I don't wanna be here Janis: 1. I've not fucked anyone Janis: 2. so you're gonna leave me to get in trouble when that's the entire point of this whole thing to you, apparently Janis: 3. see 2 Jimmy: I've got no shortage of shit I can do to get in trouble Jimmy: You can have this one Janis: Bullshit am I taking the fall for you now Jimmy: bat your eyelashes and tell it were all my idea Jimmy: nowt even fake in that Janis: fuck off with that too Janis: you're being so stupid Jimmy: yeah proper smart move to be all over my co-workers Janis: Hardly Janis: I was talking to him, not a crime Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I have to see him every day at the same place those bitches go every day Janis: So Janis: I thought you might like someone here you actually know Jimmy: So it ain't very goals when your girlfriend is a massive slag Janis: I already told you Janis: I was talking to him, fuck all else Jimmy: And who else 👀 that? Janis: I've talked to plenty of people here Janis: and the reason I'm not talking to you is your fault so you can't put that on me Jimmy: Get in a darker corner and get a bit closer, sure we can still spin that so it's my fault somehow Janis: Jesus, I'm not an idiot and I'm not trying to fuck him Jimmy: we're surrounded by idiots, stick to the fucking script or exit stage left Janis: I'm making best of the situation Janis: but fine, let's both leave, this whole exercise has been fucking pointless Jimmy: Me an' all, this ain't happening to me again Jimmy: I loved her, I don't even like you Janis: What are you talking about Jimmy: leave it out Janis: You said it Janis: typed it Jimmy: I can't hypothetically fuck your sister with a gun to my head, you can't actually fuck anyone I know Janis: We were having a cigarette, that's what you 👀 Janis: if that pisses you off then you can see why you pissed me off Janis: that's that Jimmy: I never said I couldn't see why you were pissed off Jimmy: not blind Janis: Yes you did Janis: you still don't even get it now, so fuck that Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: but I'm never going near your sister Janis: then you don't Jimmy: I didn't invite her here to piss you off Janis: You didn't have to pick her Jimmy: You wanted honest Janis: Yeah, and if you can't see she's the worst Janis: then I don't want to be your friend and you don't get it Jimmy: I picked her 'cause she's barely spoken to me Jimmy: she's never barged in on me in the bathroom or awkwardly flirted with me Jimmy: there's nowt else to it Janis: I'm over this Jimmy: come on Jimmy: I don't like anyone, least of all any of them Janis: Fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: Sure Janis: it just proves how stupid this is Janis: you don't know me, I don't know you, we've got nothing in common Jimmy: that were the point Jimmy: you can't fake owt with someone who knows you Janis: that ain't the point in being friends Janis: to think we could do both was the mistake Janis: so let's drop it Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but this party were a good idea Jimmy: is Janis: I hope so Jimmy: just stay Janis: whatever Janis: I had and ave reasons to be here too, I never said I didn't Jimmy: yeah Janis: enjoy your party, Jimmy Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Make it a lot later okay Jimmy: suits me Janis: when are you going to be done with this? Jimmy: When are you? Janis: I'm fine now, no one thinks I'm gay Janis: but I'll hold up my end of the deal Janis: so get to your end point and tell me Jimmy: Lasses are gonna fancy me however long this goes on, soon as we end it I'll be back at square one Jimmy: might as well do it now if that's what you want Janis: So what was your plan Janis: do it 'til you found a real girlfriend, what? Jimmy: how do you expect me to plan for that level of crazy? Jimmy: I'll be gone soon Jimmy: be a new boy somewhere else Janis: You'll forgive me for not having much sympathy Janis: only been dealing with it forever Janis: and when is that gonna be, exactly Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ my dad and ask him Jimmy: doubt he'll mind Janis: I don't think either of us knew how long we were signing up for Janis: that's the point, yeah? Jimmy: don't worry about it, this party'll get me one foot out Janis: Good Jimmy: steady on, we ain't gotta have nowt in common Janis: You aren't funny Janis: so no danger Jimmy: ain't gotta be that either, have I? Jimmy: trying to repel the lasses not the other way round Janis: you aren't that special, you know Jimmy: it's not me saying I am Janis: no Jimmy: just trying to keep my head down Jimmy: it ain't my fault they like the look of it Janis: you've really fucked everything up Janis: but maybe that ain't your fault Jimmy: I have got form, probably is Janis: You love moping Janis: have it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you lie Jimmy: What? Janis: I ust wanna know what the point of saying you wanted to be my friend was Jimmy: I weren't lying Janis: You clearly didn't want to be my friend Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Come on Jimmy: you Janis: You'd give a shit now if you did Jimmy: I do give a shit now Janis: about how you look Jimmy: stop chatting shit Janis: I heard you the first time Janis: none of this is remotely about me Jimmy: everything I do is about you Janis: You don't need to chat shit just 'cos you reckon I am Jimmy: you're my first thought in all this bollocks Janis: Yeah, and you hate me for it Janis: it isn't my fault they won't leave you alone either, alright Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I know that, not fucking braindead Janis: then don't treat me like I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't need to go on about what today's been like, you've been about for most of it Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'm sorry for inviting your coworker Jimmy: Alright Janis: Actual truce then Jimmy: might last a fucking minute this time, like Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: weren't promising nowt Janis: just warn me next time you're gonna have a meltdown and we'll be fine Jimmy: you were the one who stropped out of the car, babe Jimmy: didn't get a single 📷 Janis: and you're the one who wouldn't go to my house alone so Janis: we'll have to have a truce Janis: and I'm in no state now Janis: the evidence of this party will speak for itself Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #whentheonlycrimecommitedisthelackofselfiesinthatoutfit Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: at least come here so I can 😍😍🤤 over it Janis: tell me where you are then Jimmy: 🎨 room #duh Janis: 'course you are Janis: see if I remember where it is, get lost for once instead of you Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: bathroom Janis: where else do girls go to 😭 Jimmy: [draws her an adorable quick little map] Janis: Cheers, nerd Jimmy: now you can always find me when we're stuck here 💕 Janis: Cute Janis: fucking weird being here at night Janis: not that I think we will be much longer now Jimmy: do my 🥇 work at night, me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: I'm not gonna grade you Janis: given how tense things are already, risky game Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me it's top marks Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: Colour me unsurprised that you're class show-off Jimmy: don't say a word, me Jimmy: there's no need Janis: oh God Janis: you're insufferable 😂 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: shh Janis: or I'm purposely getting so lost Jimmy: have to find you for once Janis: I'm good at hiding Jimmy: I'm good at 👀 Janis: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: 😱 Jimmy: told you I weren't blind Janis: I stopped listening after you said you wanted to bang my sister Janis: which speaks to the contrary 🤷 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: you would've heard me say sorry if you were bothered Janis: I'm bothered Jimmy: so what you just want another one? Janis: Maybe Jimmy: gonna have to do something for it since you ain't listening to nowt I've said Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: Now I know why you wanted a dare Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: I'll do owt you want so you know how sorry I am Janis: Don't say that Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's been one of those days Janis: and I'm too drunk to be sensible Jimmy: that's why you should let me make it up to you Jimmy: or it'll keep on being shit Janis: okay Janis: but you do what you think Janis: I'm not telling you to do anything Jimmy: just for tonight or ever again? Janis: like I tell you what to do all the time Jimmy: I'm just saying, might be a dealbreaker Janis: Oh right Janis: it's a kink, I forgot Jimmy: taking your 🎟🎟 off you Janis: 😣 Janis: I'll tell you what to do Jimmy: go on Janis: come out and find me instead Janis: I can't be just me and you right now Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: how far did you get? Janis: corridor Janis: don't call me scared Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [such an intense LOOK in every sense 'cos what a time we're all confused and frustrated] Jimmy: [giving her those 😍 he said he would and MORE lbr] Janis: [when I'm like you're staying still girl I don't trust you lol] Jimmy: [when I'm like who's around that you can use as an excuse to do what you really want lol] Janis: [there'd be people and that was my shameless vibe 'cos no going back if it happened when you were alone] Jimmy: [just really intensely kiss her in between saying how sorry you are then boy, I insist] Janis: [so about it there's no denying] Jimmy: [thank god they can forget because drunk if we need them to because DAMN] Janis: [god damn x3] Jimmy: [also thank god he's wearing more clothes than her because once again she's basically in the same boat as on school trip and they're just dry humping all over everything so casually] Janis: [put some more clothes on hoe lol but never do and seriously, this is enough of a show without how bad you wanna go further] Jimmy: [a hoe never gets cold especially in April] Janis: [it's basically Summer lmao] Jimmy: [they should go back to the art room at some point if they can ever find chill for a paint fight cos they wearing black it'd be 🎨] Janis: [that's a good idea] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think how they can lowkey trash the place and that seemed an obvious one] Janis: [I am down, if they ever stop lol] Jimmy: [which they won't for an age if ever lol] Janis: [how are we stopping y'all ahh] Jimmy: [someone could always basically fall on them cos drunk chaos] Janis: [that would work, break the spell casually] Jimmy: [especially if it's a heavy lad even you two can't just ignore that] Janis: [just 😒 but not at him so improvement lol] Jimmy: [don't fight him Jimothy just go have your paint fight and live your best life] Janis: [we all know you were very in the way lol] Jimmy: [as standard, so go handhold your way back to the art room as is also your standard] Janis: [being like 'which is yours?' like a parent coming to see your work on parents evening] Jimmy: [getting shy like] Janis: [squish.that.face 'go on' nudges him] Jimmy: [the most exasperated sigh ever like she is a parent suddenly lol] Janis: [walks around looking at the work herself like okay, okay, 'I'll work it out'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she's checking out the 🎨] Janis: [when he's done enough doodles that you could pick them out but probably not 📷 'did I find them all?'] Jimmy: [just taking her to all the ones she didn't but he can't look at them because he's awks] Janis: [just approving like get it boy but silently and low-key 'cos not that bitch, turning round 'where do you sit then?' and sitting on his desk when he tells her] Jimmy: [sits on his chair so they're accidentally really close to each other] Janis: ['this is how porn starts' saying what we're all thinking] Jimmy: [loling] Janis: [😏 but tension] Jimmy: [😏 back forever] Janis: ['teach me then'] Jimmy: [gets out art supplies like a nerd] Janis: [buzzing like show me how to art] Jimmy: [what's a art thing he could teach her how to do? hmmmm] Janis: [thank god she's got some skillz even if drunk, don't wanna be tragically shit] Jimmy: [imagine, they'd be arguing again like immediately] Janis: [we don't need that tah] Jimmy: [christ knows what he's teaching her but it's a moment] Janis: [obviously gonna involve paint and obviously gonna splodge a bit on his cute concentration face to start this paint war] Jimmy: [get her back on her 😏 face because she would be and we all know] Janis: [I wish pinterest would come through for this but I already know lol] Jimmy: [I will look but they won't even serve me an outfit for him so probably not gonna happen] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [on the one hand I want other peeps to show up so they can attack them but on the other I don't because just jj things] Janis: [we probably should to avoid another Moment TM] Jimmy: [yeah at least when there's at least a couple of other people around we can pretend it's fake, there's no going back otherwise] Janis: [we can feel it coming lads] Jimmy: [so can they and that's the tea] Janis: [mhmm mhmm] Jimmy: [you deserve this carefree paint fight and ensuing makeout lads, shit is gonna hit the fan soon enough] Janis: [what kind of fallout should we do?] Jimmy: [that's a good question cos we know Ian is gonna 🥊 but yeah we need to decide how hard to go with everyone else] Janis: [like assuming the police get called to shut this down, I reckon you'd just get a warning/or maybe a community service vibe, that could be fun to do actually] Jimmy: [LIKE IN STEP UP but obvs not at all because they ain't cleaning no dance school but yass I like that idea] Janis: ['cos then even if Ian is like can't see that girl again they still will 'cos gotta go do this lol] Jimmy: [exactly and school will have to start eventually so you can't stop him then even if they get put in isolation or whatever they'll still find a way] Janis: [the rom and jules of it all] Jimmy: [you'll enjoy that both of yous] Janis: [not that you'll enjoy being separated the rest of the time 'cos so highkey heheheh] Jimmy: [though I'll enjoy not having to think of ways to cockblock you all the time] Janis: [just parents being parents 'cos you broke into and trashed your school lol] Jimmy: [this'll be a good reason for cali/the fam not to like him cos that was the vibe for why she had to invite him round to dinner remember when] Jimmy: [even though they would've totally done this when they were younger bye] Janis: [exactly yo, and likewise doesn't listen to them anyway so it's as much of a cockblock and not as we need so] Jimmy: [is there anything else you wanna do/have them say to each other before we 👮🚓?] Janis: [hmmm we've covered a lot of emotional ground I feel so we're probs good?] Jimmy: [I'm good with that]

1 note · View note

fit-as-fxck · 5 years

Text

saturday workout & update

Warmup pushing a 165 lb sled x5 and pulling it back into place x20 yards

mobility warmup

conventional deadlifts 2 sets of 8 reps

barbell row x2 sets and then I got bored and decided I didn’t want to work back today

sumo deadlift 4 sets @ RPE of 8

dumbbell tension & pause squats 4x15

superset with: dumbbell tension RDL’s 4x15

scapular pull-ups and dead hangs until failure

Some notes on this: strength on deadlifts is definitely down but thats okay because it’s not as low as I thought. My pull-up work is feeling really good lately. I’m working on grip strength pretty much at the end of every workout. I threw in a few barbell squats at the end of this workout but didn’t count them because I wanted to try out a lifting belt. The belt was pointless for me because I couldn't get it tight enough on me, even on the smallest notch (such is life).

My weekly routine is looking like:

Two or three days of lifting (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday).

Three days of running (Monday, Wednesday, Friday).

Sunday is a hiking day or resting day.

This plan is flexible because I do go to yoga and might throw in weight training on most days after my runs. It all just depends. I’m moving with what works for me right now and focusing on eating e n o u g h . Unfortunately that was my kryptonite. I have to convince myself that eating enough won’t make me spontaneously combust. It’s a weird irrational fear I developed but I'm glad I caught it in time to stop it. I greatly underestimated the amount of general activity I get on a daily basis outside of my workouts. For instance, yesterday I hit 20,000 steps. Yep. Moving a ton. I swear, everyday something new dawns on me.

My cardio is in the trash but I’m able to get it back out with effort and the more I eat - the more I’m able to handle and feel “better”, ya know? I’ve split my lifting workouts into push/pull days, even though I’m focusing on running right now and just using the weight training to supplement. I still LOVE to throw heavy weight around. There’s just something about it that makes me feel fierce and I don’t want to lose any strength gains.

It recently struck me how... weird I'm feeling about where I’m at. My cardio is in the trash and getting it back out of the trash can feels D I F F I C U L T . But doable with persistence. The thing about getting yourself out of the trash can is that getting over the initial hump of “oh shit. this is where I'm at and it’s hard” is a tough pill to swallow. It feels almost humiliating. Not like “ha ha you’re in a trash can” but like swallowing my own pride enough to accept where I am. In order to get anywhere, you first have to accept exactly where you are and know that moving from it is possible. Most people don’t want to do either of those things. They don’t want to love and accept where they are at and that it is hard and they don’t want to believe that they are much more powerful than they think they are. Your beliefs are built through action. However painful at first but that action builds confidence that others can’t destroy. After you get over that hump of “oh shit this is hard for me and once upon a time it wasn't”, well, it won't be easy but at least you won't have to get over the hump again. I tried to stay really objective about it and not be a dramatic bitch but I am hooooooman to the utmost degree and this week felt terrible but it won't for long. If I had a dollar for every time I had a really stupid setback in life (idk how to finish this sentence so use your imagination). Sometimes I take a look at it and I'm like, wow. I’ve fucked up so many times, in so many different ways that I've lost count. I’m going to be 30 soon believe it or not and I'm still out here fucking up. Maybe you don't ever reach a point where you don't fuck up anymore. But the good news is the only way to learn is through failure and finding out what DOESN’T work gets us closer to what DOES. It’s the trying 99 times until you get that 100th time where it works. You can only learn this on your own or watching others and learning from their mistakes too but not many are honest and real about theirs. It’s important to note that everything is relative so comparing your story to someone else’s and vice versa is pointless and will do nothing but send you into a pit of despair. Just make sure the story you are telling yourself is one of growth and possibility (because we are the stories we tell ourselves) and not a life held back by your own limiting beliefs because of the other highlight reels you see. At any moment you can choose to be the comeback kid. Its a choice. And so I do the only thing I know how to do - I move forward, knowing that I made a mistake many people have made (or haven’t) and that by doing this it has turned me into a wiser person.

I’m taking the rest of the month off of Tumblr updates because I want to remain focused, put my head down and work. I’ll continue to increase calories and activities as I see fit and track my progress.

#personal #rambles #all over the place #because I took preworkout #and I'm sensitive to caffeine lolololol

5 notes · View notes

uraberika · 5 years

Text

Kissing Booth

Title: Kissing Booth Characters: Urabe Rika, Aphrodi, Mutou Satoshi Pairing: SatoTeru Rated: T Genres: Humor, Romance Words: 4300 words Summary: Rika drags Aphrodi into organising a kissing booth at the upcoming school fair and things don't go as smoothly as Aphrodi had excpected them to. On other platforms: ff.net / ao3 Author’s note: This started as a silly headcanon of mine but after months and months that it haunted me, I finally had written it. I screamed about this to @zafiro-satoshi who drew an amazingly adorable art of if too which you can check out here.

Afuro Terumi was screwed. Yet again. He huffed in annoyance as he ran a hand through his blond locks for what felt like the billionth time. He couldn’t believe that he let himself be fooled like that! He really should have seen it coming, after all the years he had spent being Rika’s friend (and, well, occasional lab rat for her crazy ideas). Urabe Rika was a girl who he could only describe as batshit crazy. However, she was one of Aphrodi’s closest friends and the boy wasn’t sure if he should be glad or terrified by the fact. Rika was loud, annoyingly girly, and had the most absurd ideas in the world. Like this one, for instance, when she convinced Aphrodi to organise a kissing booth for the school fair. A kissing booth for a school fair, like in some idiotic American high school romcom! The girl had guts, that’s for sure. And, apparently, had the brains too, since she managed to get the school board to actually give their blessing to it. So that’s how Aphrodi ended up with a really enthusiastic Rika behind a stall with a sign “kissing booth” and a price for a kiss which was way too low for Aphrodi’s liking. But that wasn’t the thing that bothered the blond boy the most. What really got on his nerves was Rika’s “sense of time” as the girl liked to call it. When Rika reeled Aphrodi into this whole mess, they had agreed to man the booth in equal amounts, just to be fair. The first round would be Rika’s, then after an hour Aphrodi would take over, then Rika again after another hour, then Aphrodi again and so on, until the event would arrive to its end. It was such a simple plan; even an ape would have understood it. But of course plans are meant to be ruined even though everything started off smoothly at first. Rika started her first hour, smiling charmingly at people passing by and shouting after them something on the lines of “This is a chance not to miss/’cause you get to kiss/this beautiful miss!” which immediately caused Aphrodi to mentally cringe at the awkward poem. She was jumping up and down in excitement while making weird gestures with her hands. No wonder she was a cheerleader, Aphrodi thought. With that voice of hers, she could rouse the dead from their eternal slumber and make them win a game even against the national team. So the first hour passed in loud shouting while Rika distributed kisses to every poor soul who dared to approach the stall within two meters. They had a moderate amount of success; their shoe box of coins was still only full about to a quarter. Aphrodi snickered as he remembered that this definitely wasn’t what the principal was expecting. Even though Rika managed to get his approval, it was on the condition of donating the raised money to the school’s rather empty foundation. The gym needed new equipment, the library needed faster computers, and the canteen was waiting for a big renewal as well. But with this amount of money, the school would be able to buy a few second-hand textbooks the most. However, it was none of Aphrodi’s concern; he just hoped that the principal wouldn’t make a big scandal about it. So when the time arrived, he took over the booth with little worry. In retrospect, he should have been worried.

He wasn’t even manning the booth for what felt like fifteen minutes when Aphrodi had to realize that people were clearly more interested in him than they were in Rika. At another time, he sure would have appreciated the attention, but in this particular case, he just wanted to get over with it. He checked his watch for the fiftieth time, took a sharp breath and let his eyes wander over the small crowd gathering in front of the DIY cardboard structure decorated with plenty of glitter and paper hearts (courtesy of Rika). Oh boy, this was going to be a long hour!

And in fact, it was one hell of an hour. Aphrodi kissed more people than he could care to count and now all he wished for was a break. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait any longer for it. He turned his head to the side and looked down at Rika. The blue haired girl was crouched next to Aphrodi, her back leaning against the wall with phone in one hand. She seemed greatly immersed in her phone and was typing so furiously, Aphrodi thought the screen would crack any minute. Rika suddenly realized Aphrodi was staring at her, and she looked up at him.

“Hey, guess what! My Darling had a match yesterday, and a video of it got uploaded, so of course, I had to check it to see my man play again but then I scrolled down and you wouldn’t believe what I saw!” she ignored the sarcastic-faked horrified gasp coming from Aphrodi and put one hand to her heart in a dramatic pose. “Someone was writing trash about PA!” PA was short for Pegasus Academy, the top-notch prissy American private school Rika’s boyfriend went to. They were exclusive and super strict when it came to rules. The school of course, not Rika and her boyfriend. To be honest, Aphrodi knew very little of Rika’s One True Love, he had only met him twice while he was staying at Rika’s for a short time. The guy seemed nice enough if not a bit anxious at times. Or maybe it was just due to Rika, to whose random outbursts the poor boy usually ducked his head in an automatic defence measure.

“Rika!” Aphrodi pinched the bridge of his nose. “People talk trash all the time on the internet. They are called trolls for a reason. Don’t waste your time with them. Come and man the booth instead, it’s your turn.”

“I can’t right now. A bitch is waiting to be roasted,” the cheerleader said and her attention was immediately focused back onto the screen. “Plus, with you, the business is booming!” Aphrodi sighed in exasperation but decided against arguing with her. Starting a fight with Rika was almost pointless since she wouldn’t even care to listen. Whenever her Darling was involved in something, her hearing and vision became quite selective. So he chose the next best option instead.

“Ten minutes max,” he said in a threatening voice and turned back to the slowly dissipating crowd in front of the booth. He could manage ten more minutes, Aphrodi assured himself. The only problem was that Rika’s dictionary didn’t actually contain the expression “ten minutes”. Because suddenly, ten minutes turned into fifteen, then into twenty and then into twenty-five minutes, and Rika still hadn’t looked up from her phone. After an hour had passed, Aphrodi was seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“What the hell takes you so damn long?” the blond boy hissed through gritted teeth. And at last, Rika finally lifted her gaze off the screen.

“Hey, look!” she said cheerfully, as if nothing had happened. “Touko has been transferred back here, she sent a pic from the base!” and indeed, in the picture was a girl with a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon with messy shoulder-length red hair, dressed in a khaki uniform and hat. Zaizen Touko was a former upperclassman of Rika’s and her best friend before Aphrodi transferred here. When she graduated, she joined the army and now worked as a general at a small military unit, but in the picture, she was smiling as if she had never gone through the worst of hell at the army. She was way too young to serve in the military in Aphrodi’s opinion, but the girl was a tough one, he could tell, even if just from Rika’s anecdotes. “We can finally meet again!” Rika turned back excitedly to her phone and Aphrodi could literally feel the veins starting to pulse in his head. So, he changed tactics.

“Girl, I’m really happy for you. Really, I am. But we agreed on switching, and I swear to the Gods, if you don’t stand up and take my place in the next three seconds, I’ll go and dump this shoebox of cash into the dumpsters, and I don’t care if we get expelled for it.” This new plan turned out to be more effective, since Rika quickly rose to her feet, her face wrinkled up in a pout as she begrudgingly changed places with Aphrodi while murmuring something along the lines of “no need the unleash that divine wrath of yours”, but Aphrodi just rolled his eyes. The divine or god jokes were really nothing new to him. People always made teasing remarks about him or his appearance or his love for Ancient Greek culture and mythology, so he was used to people making jokes about him being a god and all that. Actually, that was the reason why he got the nickname “Aphrodi”. Almost everyone in school called him that because he was clearly and openly a mythology nerd and, well, his appearance did seem to resemble in some way that of the Goddess of Love with his long, blond hair and delicate frame.

So, Aphrodi could finally sit back and relax. He leaned against the wall with a contended sigh and closed his eyes, letting the relaxing feel of his muscles unclenching surge through his body. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and looked around. It was clear that the school fair was slowly but surely coming to an end. Even though there was still almost an hour left of the event, a lot of stalls had closed shop already due to selling out or simply because of the exhausted students. Aphrodi himself wished to pack up and just leave, but that would be admitting defeat. Rika finally took her turn, and she would work for all that money that Aphrodi had raised. Because by the looks of it, Rika wasn’t getting many customers. It was not her fault though, the corridor was almost empty, and most of the students have already sneaked out of the building. It was an extra-curricular event, so no one really bothered to check whether everyone was staying until the last hour. Occasionally, one or two students walked by, but none of them spared even a glance at the stall.

As he heard the sound of footsteps growing louder and louder in the acoustic corridor, Aphrodi cracked one eye open, and it immediately went wide. He quickly opened his other eye, because he had to double check to make it sure, but indeed, his eyes weren’t deceiving him. The one crossing the corridor was none other than Mutou Satoshi. The boy had long, purple hair, reaching way down past his shoulder blades and the warmest hazel eyes Aphrodi has ever seen. He had a white towel around his neck and was taking quick breaths as he dabbed his damp hair with the end of the towel. He must have come from practice, the sane part of Aphrodi observed. Mutou played as a striker in the school’s football team, and no, the fact didn’t make him any less attractive. Aphrodi has been crushing on him for almost a year now. He met the boy through Rika, at one of the parties that were thrown after a big victory (or an unfair lose) at some player’s house. Rika dragged Aphrodi along because her Darling wasn’t free that night, and Rika needed supervision when it came to partying. That was when Rika introduced him to the whole football team (and, well, to the cheerleader team as well, but that didn’t really grasp Aphrodi’s interest), and that was when Aphrodi first saw Mutou. After a brief handshake, neither of them really spoke to each other (due to the fact that Aphrodi was so stunned by the boy’s handsomeness that he suddenly forgot all the communication skills he used to have, and, because, as he came to know later on, Mutou wasn’t really the one for small talk. Or for talk, in general. As from what information Aphrodi gathered within several months, Mutou was a calm and collected boy with a solid moral compass but with few social abilities, and his comportment had a certain distinctness to it. His moves were delicate but calculated. His speech was always polite but at the same time somewhat reserved. So, Mutou was everything the hot headed blond wasn’t; but that didn’t stop Aphrodi from falling head over heels for the poor boy who must have had no idea about the whole situation. Despite their first awkward meeting, Aphrodi and Mutou remained good acquaintances. They would wave at each other while passing in the hallway and, sometimes, they would eventually make small talk after practice, while both of them were waiting for their friends to change and finally be able to be off. So it was no surprise that the purple-haired striker waved and headed towards them when he spotted the duo behind the stall. Nevertheless, Aphrodi’s heart skipped a beat while he tried to get his knees to cooperate in standing up and moving his body next to Rika.

As soon as the cheerleader spotted Mutou, her face lit up. While Aphrodi was still contemplating on which form of greeting to choose (“good day” sounded so formal, while a casual “hello” made Aphrodi think that he would seem careless), Rika had no such qualms about it.

“Hey, Mutou-kun!” she shouted enthusiastically, letting everyone know even on the third floor that, indeed, Urabe Rika has spotted a friend. She waved towards him in an over exaggerated manner while a small smile spread across the boy’s lips.

“Hello, Rika-san!” he said and turned his head towards Aphrodi and nodded slightly, his gaze never meeting the blonde’s. “Aphrodi-san.”

Suddenly, Aphrodi was too aware of how the temperature in the corridor seemed to rise. This was absolutely abnormal. It was May, for the Gods, who would ever think of turning the heating on in here?! No wonder the school needed money, if they heat away all of their funds!

“How are you doing, Mutou-kun?” the blue haired girl asked. “How was practice?”

“It was fine,” the boy said, and even though he wasn’t actually smiling anymore, Aphrodi could hear the delight in his voice. “We still got a lot to work on, but I’m actually quite optimistic this time,” the boy said, and that was when Aphrodi knew that that football team must be really something. Mutou was the most realistic guy he had ever met; he had a real down-to-earth mentality and he didn’t throw around praises in the air just for nothing. Aphrodi couldn’t help but let a goofy smile loom its way to his expression. He really liked when Mutou was optimistic. “And you, guys?” came the question, and Aphrodi was shaken out of his daydreaming in an instant. Somehow he actually realised that they were indeed doing a kissing booth, and oh boy, if this wasn’t his luckiest day in years!

“Actually,” the blond boy cleared his throat. “I was about to take over the booth, since Rika-chan’s shift was just about to end.” He tried to smile as innocently as he could while he also prayed that Rika would get the hint being a self-proclaimed love expert and all.

“You what now?” Rika asked incredulously. “C’mon man, you’ve been whining for a whole hour wanting me switch you out, and now that I’ve taken over, you actually want to switch back?” she asked in pure confusion. Looks like Aphrodi overestimated Rika’s expertise in the domain of love and subtle hints. Oh well, there’s nothing that a good shove in the ribs wouldn’t solve.

While Rika was trying to grasp her side and catch her breath not too obviously, Aphrodi put on his most charming smile and turned to the boy at the other end of the booth who watched the events with a mildly confused expression and a raised brow. A couple of seconds passed while Rika regained her composure. She stared at the duo warily, her gaze darting from one to another with incredible speed. And finally, after what felt like an eternity to Aphrodi, the penny dropped. Her face lit up as the realisation hit her, and she sent a rather smug smirk towards Aphrodi spiced with a weird suggestive lift of her blue eyebrows (an expression which was sure to haunt Aphrodi in his future nightmares).

“Of course!” she slapped a hand across her forehead. “I was just about to head for the…” her voice seemed the waver for a minute. “Toilets,” she finished with absolute conviction. Well, Rika wasn’t the best at improvisation, but Aphrodi had to give her kudos for the dramatic vehemence. “I’ll trust you can take care of things while I’m away?” she said as she was clearly fighting to be able to keep the amusement and mockery out of her voice. “Good luck, make sure he pays just as much as any customer would!” she shouted over her shoulder, then all Aphrodi could make out was a blue blur, and suddenly the ever-enthusiastic cheerleader was gone.

As soon as Rika disappeared out of sight, a slightly awkward silence settled between the two boys. Aphrodi still couldn’t believe his luck that he actually managed to get into this situation with Mutou of all people! Just like in some idiotic American high school romcom, he smiled to himself. He must have done something really noble for the Gods to provide him such a lucky situation, he amused as he stared at the purple-haired striker with a rather starstruck expression. On the other hand, Mutou’s expression wasn’t as trusting. He eyed the blond boy warily as one would scrutinize a wildcat in its cage: fascinated but ready to bolt at any minute in case something bad happened. So, Aphrodi decided to step up his game. After all, he wasn’t nicknamed after the goddess of love for nothing!

He flashed his brightest smile and looked the boy right into the eyes, determined to say something flirty.

“So, you come here often?” Aphrodi wanted to mentally slap his own face for the slip-up. Way to go, Casanova, just barge down that damn door, wouldn’t you?!

Mutou looked around the area with furrowed brows and asked: “You mean… the corridor?” Well, there’s no turning back now, so Aphrodi just slightly nodded. Mutou’s expression didn’t soften, but he shrugged. “I guess,” he replied. “Though I have classes more frequently on the third floor.”

Aphrodi quickly swallowed back the laughter threatening to burst through his mouth. The boy took his question literally!

“I see,” Aphrodi replied to gain some time to think. “So, care to help us out in raising funds for the school?” he asked next. This time Aphrodi mentally patted himself on the back. That was so subtle that even he wasn’t sure where he wanted this conversation to go.

“Sure. The gym could use a few new soccer balls. What you guys doing?” the striker asked, his distrust slowly dissolving. Aphrodi pointed upwards, to the huge sign with “kissing booth” written all over in pink and filled with so many drawn red hearts that Aphrodi was pretty sure that it was unhealthy. Mutou followed the motion with his gaze, finally settling onto the ominous carton board. What happened next was absolutely unexpected: the ever-collected boy, who was always polite and whose expression rarely betrayed his thoughts, turned to a curious shade of beet.

“Ah I see…” he murmured to himself as he was clearly trying to recompose himself. Aphrodi knew that a lot of people were against their idea and some of them (like Nagumo) even cared to voice their displeasure. Maybe Mutou was one of those people who found a kissing booth on a school fair scandalous. Aphrodi decided it was time to backtrack before Mutou gave a piece of his mind too on the matter, just like Nagumo did.

“Of course, if you’re against the idea, I absolutely understand, the thought is what counts,” the blond boy said quickly.

“No-no, of course not,” Mutou quickly reassured him. “It’s a really… hmm…” he coughed. “Creative way of raising funds. And everything for a better equipped school, right?” he asked and fished out a few coins of the pocket of his shorts. He laughed, but the sound was strained as if he was trying to convince himself to put the money into the box. Finally, he dropped the coins into the makeshift bank. He then stared at Aphrodi expectantly with the colour not fading a bit on his face. Aphrodi was glad that even though he had a pale complexion, he wasn’t the one to easily blush. And on the few occasions when he felt insecure or embarrassed or overjoyed, only his earns turned red. Thus the long hair, and he thanked the Gods that this time his ears were safely tucked behind his blond locks because he could feel that they were almost flaming.

Aphrodi looked back at Mutou as he listened to the pounding of his heart in his ears. Should he make the first move? Should he be the one to lean in? Or should he just wait until Mutou feels comfortable enough to come closer? As he looked at the boy, he could clearly see the hesitation on his face. Does he not like him? Funny enough, this thought had never crossed Aphrodi’s mind before. Everyone is always so swept away by his appearance and manners and his whole charm that the thought has never actually occurred to him. But what if Mutou only liked him as a friend?

However, before Aphrodi could fall into an endless cycle of overthinking, the purple-haired boy suddenly moved towards him and put his lips to Aphrodi’s. Immediately, all coherent thoughts stopped coursing through Aphrodi’s brain while he felt the strength escaping his legs. He quickly braced himself on the top of the counter as he tried not to get lost in the kiss too much. It was really the sweetest and most innocent kiss Aphrodi had today, hell, even his whole life, and he didn’t want this moment to ever end. But this time, the Gods decided that this was enough luck for today and the next thing Aphrodi knew was that Mutou had drawn back and was face to face again with him. His whole face was burning and Aphrodi could also feel that the heat had finally spread across his own cheeks as well. They stared at each other for a few seconds; both not quite comprehending what they had just done. Finally, after an eternity, Mutou coughed in embarrassment and turned away.

“Well, good luck to the rest of the fair,” he croaked and repositioned a strand of hair behind his ear. He was clearly going, and Aphrodi started to panic. No, this can’t end like this! After a whole year of pining that’s it? Maybe Mutuo didn’t get the message that he likes him? Nah, that can’t be it, Aphrodi literally kissed him on the lips! Well, as part of a kissing booth project where they were raising funds by kissing people, and Aphrodi had kissed a lot of people, and oh for the love of the Gods, Mutou had no idea! Aphrodi had to think of something quickly before Mutou’s retreating back disappeared completely out of sight. So, he decided to act upon instinct.

“Wait!” he didn’t really even think through what he was going to say, but Mutou immediately turned around and raised a questioning eyebrow at his direction. “Are you free on Sunday?” There goes nothing!

“Uhm… I guess?” the purple-haired boy scratched his neck; feeling embarrassed at the sudden attention Aphrodi gave him as his cheeks turned yet again a faint shade of red. “I’ll have practice in the morning but after that I’m mostly free. Why?” he asked suspiciously as if he was waiting for Aphrodi to take back what he said at any moment.

“You see…”Aphrodi started. “Rika’s boyfriend is having a match, a super elite one, that is. And of course, Rika, being her girlfriend, got a couple of extra tickets. Of course she would get, why wouldn’t she, right?” oh for the Gods’ sake, now he was rambling! He should have been named after the goddess of nonsense, not the goddess of love! “And you see, I actually got a plus one, and since you are a striker and everything I thought you’d be interested, and maybe we could go there together so I could show you the place, it’s an amazingly huge stadium really, one of the best, and you see…” Aphrodi was tripping on his words and he saw Mutuo’s lips curving into small smile at his struggling.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” the boy replied, his voice more measured than ever and for a moment Aphrodi’s heart skipped a beat as he became sure that Mutou was going to decline his sort-of-clumsy-date-proposal. “I would love to watch Ichinose-san’s match with you,” he said.

“Oh, great,” Aphrodi let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “So how about we meet half an hour before the match at the park next to the school? Around six? “

“Sounds great,” Mutou smiled amicably, blush fading on his face. And the next moment, the purple-haired boy was gone just like an illusion, but Aphrodi knew that it was anything but an illusion. He placed his head in the palm of his hands as he grinned at the empty corridor like some idiot. Oh boy, Rika was going to freak out so much!

#Inazuma Eleven #Urabe Rika #aphrodi #Afuro Terumi #mutou satoshi #metron #satoteru #mystuff #myff #I hope you enjoy this zafi^^ and I'm sorry if they were a bit ooc

11 notes · View notes

dancingalone21 · 6 years

Text

Charmed

Summary: A nervous Dean gives the reader a special present for Christmas.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,226

Dean Winchester’s edges have always been a little rough, a little sharp, a little...a lot torn. His quick wit and charm adding to the appeal of the puzzling yet enticing hunter.

He always manages to keep you at arms length, yet always reels you in enough to keep you invested. He’s a huge contradiction that drinks and fucks his way through life - all while capturing your heart. “Y/N...anything you want to come clean about right now?” Dean’s calm tone of voice is almost unsettling as he steps into your bedroom. “Uh I don’t think so.” You grumble keeping your eyes glued to your TV. His gaze is burning a hole straight through you and it’s starting to build a healthy dose of anxiety.

“Well let me refresh your memory.” Your roommate huffs. “There’s freaking dog hair on Baby’s back seat!”

“So?” Risking a glance out of the corner of your eye, you see Dean clenching his jaw in an attempt to keep quiet. It rarely works. “So?! You know the rules, Y/N. Your fluffy ass German Shepherd is not allowed inside of my car!” “You love that fluffy ass German Shepherd!” You narrow your eyes. “I bet Duke’s passed out on your memory foam right about now.” Dean’s face softens a bit before turning hard again, “I found slobber too ya know. All over my leather seats!” “Take it down a few notches before you bust a nut, Winchester.” You smirk at him then bring your focus back to the movie that’s playing. You and Dean have always been cast into a gray area, resulting in a bewildering and sometimes tiring friendship. You’re not exactly best friends but you’re not assholes to each other either. The line between close and far, hot and cold, normal and weird seems to always be blurring. “That’s how you wanna play it, sweetheart? Fine. You’re not getting your Christmas presents until you fess up.” Dean appears pleased with himself but he should have known it would instantly backfire. “Fine with me.” You shrug in his direction. “You’re not getting yours then.” “Son of a bitch.” A low growl resounds from the hunter’s chest, he truly hates not having the upper hand. Dean appears conflicted, you can actually see him work through the pros and cons in his head. Of course you’re unaware that he’s a little nervous about what he bought you. It’s sure as hell pushing him out of his comfort zone, which is something he tries to avoid. “Don’t worry about it, dude.” You speak up. “I’ll just give them to Sammy instead.“ “Unbelievable.” Dean mutters under his breath, he then stomps loudly out of your bedroom. Making a beeline towards his own room, Dean’s unable to stop the infuriating thoughts flurrying through his mind. He’s never been this emotionally invested in a girl before, it’s the worst but also the best thing he’s ever experienced. Dean finds Duke exactly where you said he’d be, lounging like a king on top of the memory foam mattress. It’s a funny sight, considering the dog used to be nothing but an unwelcomed pain in the ass. Now Dean can’t imagine not having his furry sidekick roaming around the bunker. “Your mother drives me crazy, man.” Dean rubs the dog’s belly with a tired smile. “I can’t believe you guys moved in just over a year ago. Time flies.” Duke yawns in response and it makes the green eyed man chuckle, any aggravation he was harboring has now disappeared. And he decides to give you a peace offering, knowing exactly how he wants to do it. “Come on, buddy!” Dean waves the Shepherd towards the door as he exits the bedroom. “Let’s go give your mom an early present.” Dean marches down the hall and pauses in your doorway, “Hey, Y/N.” He quietly greets. “Look who I found.” Your face lights up when your favorite boy comes charging into your room with his tennis ball. You now notice that Dean is standing awkwardly and clearly hiding something behind his back. “What are you doing?” You laugh studying your roommate’s body language. “You ok, tough guy?” Dean gives a playful glare as he pulls out a small gift wrapped box, he then slowly sits down onto the bed, “This is a complete 180 from what I just said ten minutes ago but whatever. This is for you.” Your eyes flick down to the pretty box then back up to Dean’s face, “Christmas isn’t for two days.” You suspiciously point out. “I’ve never been one to follow the rules, Y/N. I’m not gonna start now.” Dean winks at you. “Besides I have two other gifts for you, so you’ll still have something to open then.” “You don’t want to wait until Sam gets home?” “I...um...” Dean quickly clears his throat, ignoring that the tips of his ears are now heating up. “Nah it’s no big deal.” Your eyebrows raise, “Oh ok.” You deliver a warm smile to the anxiety filled hunter sitting in front of you. “Before you open it...” Dean’s voice wavers. “Just know that it’s cool if you don’t like it, you can even throw it in my face if you want.” “I’m sure that won’t be necessary.” You giggle making his tense shoulders relax a little. Dean’s watching like a hawk as you tear off the silver wrapping paper and red matching ribbon. You pop open the box to reveal a sterling silver Impala charm for your charm bracelet. It makes your heart automatically speed up.

Your dad bought a beautiful charm bracelet for you a few months before he died. Whenever he returned home from a hunt, your dad would always have a unique new charm for you. It became a sweet comfort that you two shared especially when he traveled so much. The day after his hunter’s funeral, you found a new home for the heartbreaking bracelet in your jewelry box. “I know this was a tradition with your dad...so I hope it’s ok that I bought one for you.” Dean’s visibly weary about how you’ll react, you instantly pull him in for a tight hug to ease his worries. “Thank you, Dean. This is perfect.” You breathe out, unable to stop the tears brimming your eyes. It took a year but you started wearing the bracelet again, finally finding the strength since time healed you a bit. Dean was thrilled when it reappeared and he wanted nothing more than to attach a new, happier memory to it. “So...you definitely like it?” Dean asks cautiously. “It’s the best charm I’ve ever seen if I do say so myself.” He smirks at you. “I love it!” You promise him. “Almost as much as Duke loves your car...” You cover your mouth before you burst into laughter. Dean’s hazel eyes widen and he’s surprisingly amused over your admission. He tells himself to remember this moment - to memorize everything down to the last detail. So he will forever be reminded of the day he fell in love with you.

Christmas Fics

Masterlist

#christmas request #charmed #dean winchester #dean winchester au #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #supernatural #supernatural au #spn reader insert #SPN #Jensen Ackles #supernatural fanfic

612 notes · View notes

the-voice-of-hell · 3 years

Text

Rent is Theft, part 17

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here. Note: My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not. If you have notes on that or anything else, hit me up.

***

I held her hand on the way out. Despite every outer wall of the place being mostly glass, it was much darker inside than out. The sun hurt our eyes and we put on cheap sunglasses. The city was bright and cold, like it often was in the morning. It looked generally clean, but a few scraps torn paper and other trash twirled in the wind like flakes in a fishbowl.

“Breakfast sucked, didn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“We could get something to eat before we get on that bus. This place over here has mondo cinnamon rolls with this thick, rich frosting. Probably enough food for a week if you pace yourself, heh.” I gestured to a chichi breakfast place that catered to fancy business people. The gilt and tinted glass face made the patrons look like they were wading through dark beer.

“No, they’ll tell us to leave.”

I considered protesting. I’d been there several times before. But in my reflection, I saw that poverty and misfortune had taken a toll on my presentation. Maybe we would catch grief. I turned away and we kept walking. “There’s a Subway tucked into the grubby basement level of a less fancy building a block over. One time I ordered a BLT there but didn’t bother to specify the toppings, and the lady gave me a piece of bread with nothing but bacon on it. C’mon.”

“Heyheyhey yeah, wassup girls?” A familiar raspy voice assaulted us from an alley. We both turned to face him, sure we were about to get physically assaulted as well. It was Walter, still tugging up his dingy trunks from a bit of public urination.

But the strangest thing was his expression - none of the drama of the incident that sent everybody to the police station, just the pervy simmering he’d give to any sexy stranger. “Just wanted to say, like, dyamn. Just checkin’ your form. Ya both priddy, ya know? I wouldn’ mind a sex sandwich. Not that I’m gonna do nothin’ cuz I’m a gennleman an’ shit. Unless you wanted to, cuz like...”

As thick as his skull was, he noticed we were both paralyzed in shock, but he guessed the wrong reason. “HEY! I said I’m a gentleman, bitches! Fuck you anyway. Bitches.” He turned away and started tromping down the alley.

Momi went after him. I shook in horror, mind reeling. Was she going back to him and leaving me? Why would I have thought that for even a second? Was she going to confront him and get herself killed? I was shaking like a toy on a string, unable to step forward, to speak.

“Walter! Walter!” I’d never heard her voice that loud. It was unfamiliar, high but resonant.

He turned around with eyes half-lidded in an expression of sleazy hope, etched sloppy into a potato-like face. “I don’t know how you know me but--”

She stopped four feet from him, rooted to the concrete, fists at her sides. “Why don’t you know me? I was the only one, Walter! I was your Momi.”

“My mommy?” He looked deeply confused and a little scared.

I got back enough control to take shambolic halting steps down the alley, felt like I was too far away. I had already figured out this was another effect of our weird state of trespass, even if I didn’t know what to make of it. But I was surprised she was bothered. It seemed very convenient for this monster to forget her. Just take it and leave, baby.

She did not. “Lei. Mo. Mi. You don’t own me, you don’t treat me like that and jus’ forget me! Fuck you, Walter!”

“‘Ey hol’ up, bitch!”

She answered with fists. I was shook again, paralyzed as she beat the creep. Would he kill her? But she had a slight advantage of reach and height. He was punching back but couldn’t get his full power behind it, couldn’t connect with her face.

He’d always seemed indestructible to me, like he was made out of solid leather. Some kind of substance with no internal organs to disrupt, no fragile calcium-based bones to break. But he reeled for a moment, stunned - evidence of a nervous system, at least. She took advantage of the moment to throw a big punch that knocked him down. Concrete did the rest of the job as his head bounced, and he was unconscious. She started kicking him.

“Leimomi! Stop!” I scooted my feet closer, careful not to get in range of those fists and feet, in case her rage was blind. “We gotta get out of here before you get arrested!”

“AUGH!” She kicked him hard one last time then stepped away, gripped a chain link fence and seethed. “Ooh I’m so mad. I’m so mad!”

“It’s cool baby. You got him! That’s great. We gotta--”

She wheeled to face me, face his body. “We gotta hide the evidence.” She reached down and hauled his dead weight off the ground, very awkwardly.

“No, if we just get out of here... What are you doing?”

Momi leaned Walter against a trash compactor, pinning him there with one arm while she opened the door of it with the other. “Get rid of the evidence!”

“Baby, no. He’ll get compacted! Squished up. That’s no way to die.”

She looked at me sadly, still holding the dog man against the hard metal with no visible effort. “I just want to hide him.”

I looked to the ends of the alley frantically. Both were wide open to the street, with cars driving by every few seconds. No one walking by at just that moment. “Fine, like, use the dumpster. The dumpster!”

She nodded in agreement and smiled as she dragged him to the dumpster. I was glad this alley still had one. The city had cut a deal with some weird shady contractor to do an “eco-friendly” garbage service that involved leaving proprietary bags straight on the ground for pick up, and did away with most dumpsters. But the bags were getting torn open by rats, so the dumpsters would surely return. They just hadn’t cut the deals for that yet, leaving most alleys a grimy mess.

I held up the wobbly grey plastic lid and she hoisted her ex-boyfriend up and in. One of his feet kicked her in the side of the face as he flipped inside. I was alarmed for her, but quickly distracted by the loud sound of him hitting the bottom. The thing was nearly empty, giving Walter’s body a five foot drop onto hard steel. Fucker could have broken his neck just then.

I moved to take her in my arms, pull her away, but was arrested by the eyes of a pedestrian down the way. The man glanced at us, then kept looking. But he didn’t stop walking until he was out of sight. Maybe he didn’t see the legs go into the dumpster. I imagined he’d have a more extreme reaction. But I didn’t want to stick around to find out. I grabbed Momi’s hand and tugged her away from the scene of the crime.

Normally when I walked hand in hand with Leimomi our fingers would interlace. On the way home, I was just holding her wrist or the outside of her fist. She was too tense, too high on the violence of our misadventure. We got up to her apartment and I walked her inside. She started pacing the wall like a caged cougar. I went into the kitchenette, wringing my hands, stopped at the counter to watch her go.

“Baby, do you need to work this out on like, a punching bag?”

“God! I don’t know. Maybe. God!” She kept stomping.

“Hey, you could try the ottoman there. I don’t think anyone is living downstairs still, so...”

“OK… AUGH!” She attacked the furniture like a crazed white boy, falling to her knees and beating on it with both fists.

I just stood there, worrying, sweating. At last she was done, and slumped forward over the cushion. “Hey honey, you need some water? I could use some water.”

“Mmhm.”

She didn’t move until I brought over a red cup of water, at which she just sat up, still on the floor, one arm resting on the ottoman as she accepted. I drank a cup of my own and sat on a chair close by.

“When you’re ready, you should take a shower. And we can find out how bad you got beat up.”

“I didn’t get beat up! I beat his ass! I beat Walter’s ass!” She didn’t look mad at me, but she was suddenly getting ramped up again so I tried to sound soothing, take her down a notch.

“I just mean to see, like, if there are any cuts or broken bones. Because he did hit you a few times.”

She crumpled up her mouth but said nothing this time, and finished her water.

“Come on, Rocky. Let’s hit the showers, OK?” I walked her to the bathroom and she took off everything except her bra and panties for me. I turned on all the lights, took a wet rag, and started prodding the livid patches on her body. “Does this hurt? How about here?”

“Just a little. It’s not that bad.”

“It’s gonna get dark before it gets better. Maybe all of them. You’re gonna be a walking bruise.”

She stepped back, folding her arms over her breasts. “Oh no.”

“Don’t be shy, baby. It’s no big deal, as long as you're OK.” I hugged her but she didn’t unfold her arms. “You’re adorable. Hey, I’ll let you be alone so you can take a shower, and whatever. We’ll have fun, take it easy today, huh?”

“I won’t be too ugly?”

“Of course not. It just looks sad when somebody is hurt, it doesn’t look ugly.”

She finally unfolded her arms. “OK,” she ran a finger on my forehead, “but you need a shower too.”

“Do I?” I took my shirt off, trying to do it in one slick move, but it snagged on my head wrap. “These scarves don’t help. Ugh.”

She giggled and reached around, clumsily undoing my bra. I took hers off more easily. We were all sweaty and gross, but I was feeling almost high. We kicked off the last of our clothes and stepped into the shower.

***

I gathered the ingredients for more wizard shit, which took a few days. Knobby and Olivia were still nowhere to be found and another werewolf sighting happened. Last time I solved the allergy problem with a potion, it was pure improvisation. This time I had a rulebook, but felt like there should be at least some leeway for doing it my way. I also wondered if I should be heartbroken and drunk like the first time, to make sure it worked. I settled on drunk, drinking a few full wine bottles as I prepared my ritual components and potion.

I saved the potion for last because it was complicated. After preparing my little pots of olive oil, making one fancy wand with red tape and three kinds of wood,, and drinking a full bottle of wine, I considered that starting with the most complicated part would have been a better idea.

You know when you’re wasted and you try to just focus really strongly on what you’re doing, like if you do it slow enough you are somehow going to make that line straight? That’s how I was working. I got the water up to a boil while putting each ingredient into a shot glass or small cup, intending to throw them all in at the end, hoping not to create something so toxic I dropped dead on the spot.

The sulphur I had gotten in ointment form and the camphor as Vap-O-Rub from a drugstore, as well as an ammonia-based cleaner. The “castoreum” - some kind of beaver ass gland exudate - was apparently a “natural ingredient” used in fake vanilla, so I got a bottle of that. The opium was the most expensive ingredient by far - it would have been a bit shy of five thousand bucks - so I figured I could get away with a smaller amount if I used heroin. I scored a hundred dollars worth with Deandre’s help which according to my math was about right. I wasn’t about to boil a live animal but I got some dehydrated snakes and frogs from a witch store, along with some mandrake root. To make up for the fact the snake wasn’t alive, I decided to add some of my blood to the mix. I stole the asafoetida, some mushrooms, and St. John’s wort from an expensive grocery store and I was good to go.

The water reached a boil and I drank deep from the wine one more time. Part of me was convinced the only way I could do magic was by shutting off my higher brain functions. I gripped the edge of the stove with one hand for balance and started dropping my ingredients in the pot.

Vanilla camphor ammonia vinegar nightmare vapor hit me this way and that. My lungs started to burn so I pulled a scarf down from my head to cover my mouth and nose. I made sure I was nowhere near the stove and counter in case I drunkenly knocked something over, but I had forgotten why the scarf was on my head in the first place. Reverse Courtney.

“HOOOOooo baby! Courtney girl, I can’t believe you thought you could get by without me. Here you are, trying to stay where you don’t belong, I mean, do you even have a conscience? Guess what? It’s me. You can’t shut me up forever. I swear, even if all I can do is hum the words through a gag, you’re gonna hear me. You got that bitch?”

“Damn, that was a mouthful. Listen, I’m only toleratin’ you because I need this… gag. I’m borrowin’ it--”

“HEY! You forgot your blood. Haha. Try getting that in the pot in your current state.”

“Hey yerself!” I was slurred from the scarf as much as from the vino. “How come you’re not drunk if I’m drunk?” I tried to remember which drawer had my silverware in it.

“I am drunk. I’m just very loquacious. It’s the last one to the right, genius.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t cut your hand off don’t cut your hand off don’t cut your hand off EEEEEEE I can’t look!”

“Guh. Fuck off.” I held my hand over the boiling pot, put a paring knife to the skin of my palm.

“Steady now-AAAAAA!”

She startled me and the knife slipped. Fortunately it was pretty dull and I only had a little cut, but it fell out of my hand into the boiling pot. I reflexively reached in to grab it.

If someone in a neighboring building was Hitchcock peeping on my unit, they would see a mad woman running back and forth, completely amok. By the time I had Reverse Courtney gagged, my hand loosely wrapped in another scarf, and pulled the potion off the stove, the stuff had reduced to a fairly thick pudding. The smell had somehow averaged out to something like vanilla mint plastic. I just put the pot straight in the refrigerator, nearly spilling it twice.

I finished the second bottle and went to bed, whimpering myself to sleep.

***

The next day I woke up to a loud manly knock at the door. I almost screamed at the pain from my burns as I jolted out of bed to answer, but composed myself enough to receive him. Grime.

“What the hell do you need Graeme? Sorry if I’m curt but I’m in some pain.”

“Ah, it’s probably nothing but if you go in or out, be aware the pest control company is supposed to be coming and going today. Could be trouble if we blunder into somebody at the wrong moment.”

“Mm, yeah, thanks man.”

He ran a red hand to the back of his neck nervously. “How are you? Just hung over, or..?”

“It’s medical too. Don’t bother yourself. Just leave alone, if you don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, Court. Take care.”

He left me to tend my wounds.

I cleaned myself up very carefully. The burns were only first degree, as horrible as they felt, and could be covered by keeping my right hand in a pocket or otherwise out of sight. I happened to have some reasonable ointments for protecting and soothing the skin, so it didn’t take long to get myself back in order. But as I went to check on the fruit of my magical deeds, the phone rang.

Unfamiliar number. “Hello?”

“Um, is there a Courtney Marquez there?”

“This is she. What do you need?”

“Yes, well, you applied for the tech position at our firm, Selman Design Group, and we liked your qualifications. We were wondering if you could interview today?”

I almost dropped the phone, hustled to the bathroom mirror, and tried to suss out the damage. Could I be made presentable?

“Hello? Are you there?”

“Yes. How soon?”

“Preferably no later than one thirty PM?”

“I can do one thirty, thank you.” No you can’t.

“Sure. Putting you down for one thirty. Thank you, Courtney.”

“I look forward to it.”

I did not look forward to it.

Shortly there was another knock at my door. Leimomi. She was dressed in her black kimono-ish robe with her hair freshly-rebundled in tiers of scarves, and had done her makeup.

“Momi, hon, how’s it going?” I opened the door wide but didn’t step out of the way.

“Mm,” she leaned in and pulled me close, “I was thinkin’ maybe you and me,” she kissed me, “could do some stuff?”

The worst timing in the world. I wanted her like this - ready to go, not feeling bad about herself. Was that a bruise from where Walter accidentally kicked her?

I kissed her back and rubbed her up and down for a moment. Grr. “Baby I wish I could so much, but I got too much going on.” She was about to open her mouth to say something and I cut her off again. “Tonight too, it suuucks. I’m gonna try to get the exorcism going, if we can catch Knobby.”

She stepped back and looked down miserably. “What if we still can’t find him?”

“Right. If we can’t find Knobby by… ten PM, let’s get together and go fucking nuts.” I grabbed her hands and squeezed them. “I love you so much, Momi. I will see you later, OK?”

“Yeah.”

True to Grime’s word, there were exterminator trucks in the alley, but I didn’t see any men around. I chose to hustle past that, and set out for the job interview. I didn’t have to worry about Walter recognizing me on a bus so the trip was less tense than usual.

I could have a job. We could have an out. This could work.

I wished I didn’t still need to wrap my head so tightly. Unlike Leimomi, I wasn’t trying to hide every hair, and could let a crown out to accentuate my femininity. But the scarf had to be tight over the back, so it looked goofy. I’m no rockabilly or riveting Rosie.

The building was one of those hundred year old three to six story brick jobs (four stories in this one) that dominated the art district. Many had wholly renovated interiors and this was no exception. I doubted anything remained of the original except the outermost walls and support structures. When buzzed in, I found an interior of frosted glass walls and richly stained yellow wood floors, flawlessly waxed and shining. The lights were blown glass UFOs on long thin poles emitting a perfectly white light. As you passed directly beneath them you could see they achieved that with inner rings of purple and green light that somehow added up to a wholly neutral bleach glow.

I couldn’t help but look up. The glass walls offered nothing but a twisting gleaming corridor to weave through, the UFOs the only real feature to look at. I must’ve looked like a babe in the woods. One of the glass doors opened inward and a tiny woman walked out, dark brown hair in a middle part and pale skin, dressed in black, like baby Christina Ricci aged into Edith Head. She gave me the sleepy nod of a clinically depressed person who can’t smile for politesse and walked away without a word.

It arrested me. Where was I going? If I kept following that white rabbit, I’d end up in a breakroom or bathroom where I didn’t belong. Like the apartment building where I don’t belong... What weirdness would befall me in there?

***