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outerbankspreferences · 3 years

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Caught Pt. 2 - JJ Maybanks

Caught Pt. 2 – JJ Maybanks

Word Count: 1952

MASTERLIST

JJ’s movements stop at the sound of his full name. No one used his full name. JJ looked back down at her. “I thought you said he wasn’t getting home until tonight.” He spoke while pulling at of her causing you hiss at the over stimulation. “I thought he wasn’t, he said he had to work and then he was going to Sarah’s.” Y/N spoke trying to find your underwear JJ had thrown across the room, “where did you throw my underwear?” She whispered as if they weren’t already caught. JJ tossed her a new pair out of her dresser along with some shirts and his t shirt.

Once the two of them were dressed JJ reached for the door knob. “Now or never” he chuckled to small girl behind him. What he couldn’t see was the anxiety rushing through her. Nether had ever talked about what it was they were doing. Nether confirming whether they were together or not. They had been hooking up for a couple of months now but that was it ever was. It her Y/N every time he came over, would sleep with her and then just leave. She would never tell JJ but it always made her feel worthless, like she was nothing more then the tourons he would normally hook up with.

What she didn’t know was that JJ was head over heels in love with her. When the two of them started hooking up, he stopped meeting up with tourons. he didn’t realize he was in love with her until after their first time. For her to trust him that much meant something to him. When the two of them were together everything was different. It was like he could finally something good in his life. He wanted to keep this to himself for the fear that she might slip away form him if everyone knew.

The two of them walk out of her room and down the hallways. The floor boards creaking beneath the weight of their feet. The floor had been making the same sound earlier, expect the young couple were eager for what awaited them then, not so much now. Y/N was practicing her speech repeatedly in her head. She could feel the anxiety bubbling in her chest and she went to grab JJ’s hand for comfort to find him already reaching out for hers.

The two made it into the kitchen to find John B taking a very large shot of whiskey before glaring at the both of them. He scowled at them holding hands, and Y/N could already tell he wasn’t taking this very well. She was the first to break the ice, speaking in calm voice, “we never meant for you to find out this way.” John B just raised his hand to cut her off, looking over at who he thought was his best friend. Now he was questioning it, John B trust JJ with his life, and especially his little sister, never did he think he would cross this line. “How could you do this?” He asked the blonde, “I’m sorry, but I love your sister John B.” JJ spoke up and you gasped.

Nether of you had said those three words in the 3 months you’d been hooking up, and you had wondered if JJ was feeling the way you had. JJ took another deep breath before speaking again, “I know in my head that it’s wrong. She’s your little sister and I’ve known her since she was a little girl, but she makes me feel things I don’t always understand, but they’re good things JB. When I see her happy and smiling, she makes my day just a bit better. When she says something stupid and then starts to laugh, I realize that I want to hear that laugh everyday. And it’s killing me because she’s your sister man, I didn’t mean for it to be her, but it is and I can’t say that I’m sorry about the way I feel.” JJ pleaded with the brunette, hoping he could hear the truth in his words.

The two men looked between each other almost having and internal conversation that Y/N had to witness. John B was trying to see everything with reason, but Y/N noticed how red his face was getting, she was also keeping an eye out for the tell tale signs of his hidden anger. She squeezed JJ’s hand to acknowledge she heard every word he said, silently encouraging him to continue.

He was about to speak again when John B’s fist connected to his face causing JJ to let go of Y/N hand and stumble back words cursing. “John B!” Y/N exclaimed rushing over to JJ, “are you crazy” She hollered at him. JJ pushed her out of the way before taking a swing at John B, pushing him into the wall. Before she knew it the two boys were fighting on the floor. At one point JJ was on top landing a punch to John B., and John B. would tackle him down to the ground. She had seen the two boys fight before, but nothing like this before.

She was lucky that Pope and Kie had decided to stop by and could hear the yelling from the driveway. Pope moved Y/N out of the way, and pried JJ from John B’s death grip, “hey-hey, let go man! What the hell is going on here?” He shouted at them, and all three of you shared the same look. She stood in between the two boys, John B was fuming his face red and contoured to anger. JJ looked like he was on high alert, not sure if his friend was going to take another swing at him. “Oh yeah JJ, go a head. Tell them how I just caught you sleeping with my sister.” John B spoke in a matter of fact tone, and then stomped out the door slamming it behind. The loud bang made Y/N flinch and heart drop to the bottom of the floor. “You what?” Kie was the first to speak but she wasn’t surprised. She and Sarah had their supposition about the two of you.

She pushed past Kie to follow John B outside ignoring the protest from their friends to give him some space. “John B wait. Just let me ex-.” She tried to speak before he cut you off. “There’s nothing to explain Y/N! I know what I saw.” He hollered at the younger girl. JJ was coming up behind him. “She’s not ready for this and you know that. You are not going to break her like you do every other girl on this island. She might tell you that it wont bother her, but it will. When you break her heart, you will break her.” John B yelled at JJ.

It was like the two boys were talking about something else. Y/N really didn’t understand what John B was saying but JJ knew. John B had confided in him multiple times about how losing your dad had hurt you. How not having a mother hurt you, and how he was scared that when you found love, that it might not be requited and he wanted to keep you from that hurt. It was a big reason JJ started hanging out with the younger girl more. He wanted to help his friend keep an eye on you and at first he thought it was because he loved her like a sister but he soon discovered that wasn’t what was going on. He fell in love with her like a lover, there wasn’t a time he didn’t want to be around her. “I’m not going to hurt her. Not because she’s your sister but because I love her. I don’t know what I would do without her man. She makes everything so much better and I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s because she’s always so calm, or maybe she’s got a great sense of humor, hell man I don’t know. I do know when I try and think about how much I love her it scares me. It scares the living shit out of me that one day she might leave. So maybe your worried about her, but I don’t think you need to worry about your sister man, I think you need to worry about me. Because if she leaves me John B. I know I won’t survive without her.” He took a deep breath looking at his friend.

All five people were silent. Everyone taking in the words that JJ just spoke. It was one of the few times JJ had an outburst of emotion like that, and the first time he’s ever had that kind of emotion towards a girl. “I’m sorry that it was your sister man, but I’m not sorry about the way I feel about her.” JJ almost whispered like he didn’t want anyone to know what he was saying. Y/N could have sworn her heart dropped at hearing those words. She always loved JJ, and just assumed that it was a puppy love crush, she would move on sooner or later, but she never did. Y/N kept looking between the two boys, waiting for one of them to speak. “I don’t need your permission JB. Don’t let this get between our friendship.” The younger girl spoke up.

John B thought over all his options. His sister was right, this could potentially ruin not only his friendship with JJ but his relationship with his younger sister. He had noticed the change in her behaviour lately. She wasn’t always moping around the house depressed and sad like normal. She had a little of her normal lovable attitude back thanks to JJ. “Okay but no more sleeping in the same bed. And no PDA, I don’t want to see you macking on my little sister.” Both Y/N and JJ let out a breath of relief looking at each other. Both you and JJ giggled to each other already excited to break John B’s rules.

JJ motioned for you to follow him to the end of the dock were things were a bit more private. The two of you walked awkwardly together slightly bumping shoulders. You both sat on the rale of the dock looking into the water not speaking to each other. “I meant what I said Y/N.” JJ spoke but you didn’t look over. JJ admired the way you looked in the sunset. The colors compliment your skin tone that was just starting to tan in the spring heat. The way your hair moved in the breeze that had picked up. “I know.” The young girl spoke and JJ started to panic. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way for him as he did for her. Maybe he just completely embarrassed himself in front of their friends for feelings that she might not even have.

“I love you too JJ. I always have. I thought you were just with me for the sex.” She spoke, and JJ cringed at the reputation he had. JJ took her hands in his and she looked at him, “never once was this ever just ‘sex’. I fell for you so hard, and I don’t think I want to see you with anyone else.” He spoke in a serious tone. He moved a little closer to her, putting his hands under her chin to lift her face towards his. Their faces were inches apart when Y/N closed her eyes waiting for the kiss to come, “John B. said no PDA.” JJ whispered to her. “Oh to hell with John B.” She spoke pulling him in for a deep kiss.

TAGLIST:

@drewstarkeysbitchh @lemur46 @jjmaybankzz @taylathornton

#jj maybanks #jj maybanks x reader #jj maybanks x you #jj maybanks imgaines #jj maybanks x yn #jj maybanks outerbanks #jj maybanks obx #jj maybanks one shots #jj maybanks fluff #jj maybanks angst

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brattyfics · 4 years

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“I don’t love you anymore” | Part 2

Summary: After making it clear that he does not believe in divorce, Miguel’s wife is forced to take matters into her own hands. The previous installment can be found here. I used the following prompt lines: “How long are you going to keep this up?’ “Yeah, I remember the drill.” “Do you even know what you’ve done to me?” | Part Three |

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Dark-ish Miguel, domestic violence/abuse.

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: First of all, thank you to @my-little-wolfe for bouncing ideas back and forth with me, and convincing me to resolve this. A lot of you wanted the reader to have redemption. This is my idea of that. It’s not what many of you would have predicted, but it’s the most realistic version of events I saw happening. I’d love hear what you all think about how things shook out, let me know :)

In the backseat of a sleek, black Mercedes s550, you sat on cushy leather seats. Clay red passed by in a blur through the tinted windows. The desert reminded you of how you felt inside; desolate. Spotty patches of green freckled the dry dirt, small but persistent life signs despite the harsh conditions.

Nestor sat in front of you, eyes glued to the road ahead with the driver to his left. Next to you in the backseat sat your husband, Miguel. None of you dared to speak, save for Miguel asking for the ETA. Everyone knew a few simple words had the potential to spark a flame between the two of you. Almost a month had passed since your marriage had been irreparably damaged. You confronted Miguel about his infidelity. He made his position on divorce clear. You were no longer under any delusions of a happy or at the very least amicable ending.

Security around the house had doubled. Multiple guards were with you at almost all times, inside or outside of the house. The only time you got a semblance of privacy was when you locked yourself in one of the guest bedrooms. He always sent someone to return you to your shared bedroom at night, but you were grateful for any time away from him. You spent dark, lonely nights on opposite sides of your California King Bed. The distance between you was not only physical. Besides a simple 'yes' or 'no' when necessary, you didn't speak to Miguel. He had you temporarily trapped physically, that much was obvious, but you refused to let him have the satisfaction of capturing your spirit.

The only reason you sat next to him in the confined space was Santo Padre's annual charity event. Miguel was obligated to attend, and by extension, so were you. Like the good little wife you had been groomed to become, you dressed and accessorized to impress. You wore a designer cocktail dress, large diamond stud earrings, and a full face of makeup. All of it was to distract people from the real picture. Your reflection reminded you of how things used to be. The bells and whistles were expected of Mrs. Galindo. What you couldn't dress up were your eyes. Gone were the twinkles that once shone bright. They had been replaced by marble--hard and pretty but ornamental.

"How long are you going to keep this up?" You kept your eyes trained on the desert as your husband spoke. He should've already learned to respect you weren't talking to him. Out of your periphery, you saw Miguel make quick work of his sunglasses, stashing them in the case. "You're going to have to talk to me sometime." He used the same condescending tone that made you want to throw things at his head. Your fingernails dug into your palm as you resisted the urge to spew venom. Stop talking to me, asshole.

It was Miguel who struck first, strong fingers gripping your chin tightly. You jerked back at the invasion of personal space, swatting at his hand as if it were a pesky fly. He took your fiery reaction as a challenge, snatching you forward by your neck. You clawed at his hand, but his grip remained firm. Nestor eyed the two of you in the rearview mirror. He knew better than anyone how vicious Miguel could be when provoked. The driver's gaze didn't stray once from the road. They were trained to protect Miguel and if things got ugly, even Nestor would not step in to protect you.

"I know the drill…" His grip loosened when your eyes met. "Don't worry. I won't embarrass you in front of your colleagues, Mr. Galindo." Your shared last name was said with a sneer. Miguel didn't appreciate the sass, but he finally let you go, recoiling back into the seat. He shrugged his shoulders, adjusting his suit jacket while you rubbed your throat. You had been wheezing moments earlier, and his first priority was to preen.

If looks could kill, Miguel Galindo would be six feet under.

"Do you even know what you've done to me?" You growled out. The accusatory tone had both men in the front seat on edge. With bated breath, Nestor watched Miguel casually pick up his phone. The cartel boss tapped at the touch screen as if you didn't even exist.

It all happened in a blur.

Your hands clenched into fists, and then they were flying, raining down blows everywhere. The car jerked, then swerved, and eventually pulled over. Angry red patches littered Miguel's skin where your fists made contact. At one point, he had you pinned down in the seat. The entire thing was like an out of body experience. As much as you wanted to stop, you couldn't control yourself. He was whisked off to another car by one of the guards, leaving behind a trail of buttons and blood on the nude interior. Nestor claimed the driver's seat, riding you around in circles while waiting for you to calm down. You were hysterical, batting the bulletproof glass repeatedly and yanking wildly on the childproof looks. It took hours. In the end, your knuckles were bloody and bruised, throat raw from yelling.

For the first time since you got married, you slept alone.

Several days passed without Miguel returning home. You didn't care if he was across the border or down the street at his mistresses' house. He could take an extended vacation to hell for all you cared. All you cared about was using the time alone to your advantage.

Miguel had carefully selected four guards to stay behind and watch over you. You didn't know any of them well, and that was on purpose. Since your first falling out, Miguel had gotten paranoid about you escaping. Anyone he thought had a soft spot for you was banned from the house. What Miguel didn't consider was that you could run circles around the new guys. You ran the household as normal, keeping them busy with errands and the occasional household chore. You were sure no one suspected anything. Plus, it allowed you the time and privacy you needed to execute your plan.

You received a call an hour earlier that let you know the plan could proceed as planned. Miguel could be home at any moment, and you had no more time to waste. Your purse was packed to the brim with essentials-- travel-sized toiletries, underwear, and wads of cash. You couldn't even fit a change of clothes, but you would have to make due.

With one last glance around what had been your shared bedroom, you made peace with never seeing it or him again.

"I need you to take me to the mall." You instructed one of the guards as you made the trek down the stairs.

"Mrs. Galindo, I don't think—-" You paused at the bottom of the steps, cutting your eyes at him. The guard, Rick, was unsure of which order to follow. Miguel didn't want you out without pre-approval, but you were the one in front of him saying differently.

"I wasn't asking." He didn't look convinced, looking over his shoulder nervously for back up from one of the other guards. "I have necessities to pick up. Do you want to be the one to explain why I don't have what I need to my husband?"

"Mr. Galindo said—"

"I say." Your hands found your hips, preparing to dig in for an argument. Anxious energy bubbled up in your belly as another guard, Brian, approached. You could tell by the look on his face his answer would be no, so you spoke before he could. "I didn't want to get into details, but since you're determined to embarrass me, I'll just say it…" You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms for good measure, looking every bit the part of a spoiled brat. "I'm tired of fighting with my husband, okay? I want to pick up a gift for when he comes home, and I need it to be nice."

That did the trick. They all knew very well what gift was code for. What could a woman possibly get for a man that already had everything? Lingerie.

Rick and Brian quickly discussed it with the others, and soon enough, you were in the car. The other two stayed behind to keep watch of the house, a decision they'd all regret soon enough. You spent the entirety of the car ride reviewing your plan from start to end, step by step. Any potential roadblocks that popped up, you had a tentative solution for.

Your heart beat intensely in your chest as the large building came into view. Each step brought you closer to your new life, to freedom. Slowing outside the store, you turned to face your guards with a sweet smile. "Do you really have to follow me everywhere?" Nods in the affirmative were your only response. You made a face.

"We'll wait for you inside, ma'am. You'll be able to shop privately." Brian gestured for you to step inside. You expected as much so it didn't bother you.

"Thank you."

A saleswoman greeted you as soon as she saw you, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree. Like everyone else, she knew who your husband was and that your presence could mean a big commission. You declined politely, eyes scanning the store for the woman you had come to see.

Ariana turned the corner at the perfect time, appearing as a beacon of light. She had been one of your best friends growing up, but over time you grew apart. She had her hand in the pot of illegal activities in and around Santo Padre, with Miguel's oversight, of course. You would never have thought the shoplifting pre-teen she had once been would climb the underworld ranks to be in a position to save your life.

Tears welled in your eyes as you hugged. "It's okay." She whispered in your ear, patting your back gently. "Smile." She instructed before pulling away.

You shopped the store as if nothing was amiss, picking out different merchandise. Eventually, you separated, Ari sneaking off to the dressing rooms while you approached your guards. Your breath quickened at the scowl on Brian's face.

"All the stress eating has finally caught up to me." You laughed, but he remained stone-faced. "I need to be measured." You gestured over your shoulder to the dressing room. "It'll only take a few minutes." You did your best not to overthink each step you took, feeling his intense glare on your back.

Once out of his eyesight, you bypassed the dressing rooms, choosing to step inside the door marked 'Employees Only.' Ariana waited for you there, shoving a full backpack into your arms.

"Everything you will need is in there: a new ID and a passport. I even got a hold to a social security number for you. Memorize the information on your paperwork. You don't want to get caught up over something stupid."

You trembled as you processed the information, trying your hardest to breathe in and out deeply.

"Here's a set of keys. The silver Camry is parked directly across from the stairway on level three. The car's clean, registered with insurance and everything so you don't have to worry about being stopped. It has a full tank, and that should last you 600 miles if you're even going that far..." You adjusted the backpack on your back, squeezing the handles of your handbag extra tight. "...There's a cooler with a couple of waters and sandwiches so you won't have to stop." The large handbag hit the floor with a thud. You clasped her hands in your own to stop her rambling.

"Thank you." She swallowed hard, and this time tears welled up in her eyes. "Don't worry, okay? No matter what happens, you did everything you could for me. I'll never be able to repay or thank you enough. I know you're risking a lot..." She shook her head, silencing you.

"You're worth it. Just do me a favor: live a happy life and never come back."

With one last hug, you were off, gaining a head start in the race against El Diablo.

You knew Miguel inside and out--how he would react to the news, and how he would respond. The Galindo Cartel had eyes and ears everywhere. Gas stations, airports, train stations, bus stations were all danger zones. All it would take is a single phone call for you to be caught. He would send men out to scour the city, figuring you couldn't have gotten far. While they wasted their time above ground, you'd be on the move underground.

Miguel would never expect you to use his tunnels to escape. When you had gotten married, he handed over a packet of papers. Among them were resources, numbers you could call, people you could trust if something ever happened to him, and you needed to get out. Also, among the papers were maps of the tunnels. They were hard to make sense of at first, but you studied them relentlessly. One wrong turn could spell disaster, send you in the wrong direction and right back into his arms but you had faith in your abilities.

Besides human error, there was the issue of danger in the tunnels. People associated with him (and some not) used the tunnels to have meetings between shadowy figures or cross between California and Mexico. Smugglers used them to transport El Diablo's heroin. You could run into someone who knew you or worse someone who didn't. Without your husband's protection, you were just a lone woman making a long, perilous journey. It was entirely possible you'd meet your demise, and it'd have nothing to do with Miguel.

There was a very slim chance you'd make it out alive. If you were lucky, you'd eventually make it to the great state of Louisiana. You had friends there that would take you by boat to Mississippi. From there, you’d drive another car down to Florida. If you made it that far, you'd take the risk of getting on a plane. You’d fly to Europe where it would be easier for you to travel between countries.

No matter where your journey ended, it would be well worth it. You wouldn’t live under Miguel's thumb any longer.

GENERAL TAGLIST

@WOAHITSLUCYYLU @BRIANNAB1234 @SHEESHGIVEMEABREAK @BREAKINGNEWSIN-NO-ONEASKED @ANGELREYESGIRL @BLESSEDBOO @GLIMMERGLITTERGIRL @APANTHERINMYPASTLIFE @BROWNSUGARCOFFY @MARVELMAREE @STARRYNITE7114 @SCUZMUNKIE

MIGUEL TAGLIST

@thesandbeneathmytoes

PART TWO REQUESTS

@blacvenus @myakai13 @losolvidad0s @my-little-wolfe @karensraisns @krysiewithak @langiinspirations @veryfastspeedz @stitchesbystults @itskiranbitch @fanficfavesofthephoenixfangirl @thisobssessionofmine

#mayans mc #miguel galindo #miguel galindo x reader #miguel galindo x black!reader

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elixir448 · 4 years

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Good Girls 3x02 Thoughts

The Opening Scene

I think we all knew that Rio was knocking on Rhea’s door, rather than Beth’s. Even so, this opening scene was a gift. Of course, it is meant to mislead the audience into thinking that we are going to see Beth and Rio come face to face for the first time since she shot him but there’s so much more to talk about!

First of all, this season is really setting up Beth and Rio’s relationship as the major driver of the plot and, arguably, this has always been the case. The show is definitely about the girls but Beth and Rio’s relationship (both personal and professional) pushes the story forward. In my opinion, it’s second only to the girls’ changing motivations for being in crime, in terms of plot progression. Manny referred to Beth as Rio’s “archnemesis” in a recent interview and I know a lot of people disagree with this and think it’s funny. While I think the terminology is perhaps a bit off, I think the idea is there and what I love about it is that Beth and Rio’s relationship is so difficult to define, which I touched upon in my 3x01 thoughts post, and it’s impossible to encompass what they are to each other with one word. They have been so many things at so many different times and, gosh, now they have history. A painful, spiteful, kind of tragic, extremely messy history. I love that this season seems to be gearing these two up for what looks like a major confrontation at some point. I can really see things exploding between them later in the season, on a level beyond the alley scene in 2x07.

I’m digressing but the point is that this scene really sets them up as antagonists again, which they have been on and off for the past two seasons. In fact, I’d argue that the term never really departed from their relationship at all and it looks like we’ll be going back to the facade of one-dimensional antagonism for a little while but with the weight of the history they now share, it seems unlikely that they’ll be fooling anyone.

I think it was @foxmagpie who pointed out that Beth is staring into the mirror that Rio smashed in her fantasy in 2x05 and I practically had a stroke when I read that. The way the scene is set up, with Beth and Rio both looking in mirrors is so symbolic of their relationship and what they are to each other. While I would hesitate to call them mirror images, I certainly think that Beth and Rio are similar in the fundamental ways that shape a person but they are so different in others, particularly in the ways that they occupy the worlds that they live in and the lives they have lived.

While Beth is staring in the mirror, we hear Dean say “well, how much did you get for it?!” and it’s quite startling and almost intrusive. Beth and Rio aren’t even in the same room but they’re basically having a moment. And of course Dean has to intrude. Even though Dean is Beth’s husband and despite everything he did in season 2 to keep her, it really represents to me that Dean has been the outsider ever since Beth and Rio met. And, despite Dean’s belief that Rio has been forcing his way into Beth’s life, the reality is that he is the one who has been intruding into their relationship.

Rio has a new car! It’s a G-wagon, it’s loud and kind of pretentious. I do miss the Cadillac but I love that his new car lines up so well with how he’s been this season, which is loud! He had Agent Turner and several other FBI agents killed in the first episode alone. If that’s not loud, I don’t know what is.

Marcus and Rio’s reunion was the sweetest thing ever. I thought my heart was going to explode and release like a ton of rainbows and sunshine and unicorns. The way that Rio held Marcus really said everything about how much he missed his son. Rhea seemed a little ticked off about his sudden reappearance but happy and accepting overall, which really just adds to what we have already learned about the breakdown of their relationship and Rio’s presence in Marcus’ life. I know I said it last week but I have to say it again. I love how much this detail further humanizes Rio, beyond what the introduction of Marcus in 2x01 achieved. He’s not infallible and he has his own, very personal, flaws that affect his family. Just like Beth.

I’ve been seeing a lot of speculation that Rhea knows more than she has been letting on to Beth. Again, I don’t think that’s true. I think Rhea really just saw her relationship with Beth as a genuine friendship and I don’t think she knows anything else. Towards the end of the episode, Beth of course speaks to Rhea and I think that once Rio realised who Rhea’s soccer mum friend was, he filled Rhea in enough for her to realise that Beth intentionally sought her out and cultivated a friendship. This could mean that he told her everything but I doubt that very much. I think he probably told her just enough for Rhea to feel a great deal of hurt over Beth’s actions.

I am a little disappointed that we never got to see the scene where Rio clocks on to the fact that it’s Beth that Rhea is talking about. We’ve been robbed! But honestly I loved the episode so much that it’s fine I guess.

Annie, Sadie, Gregg and Nancy

I really love, love, loved the writers including how difficult transitioning can be because of people around you not keeping up, even if they are fully accepting. I’m not surprised though because the writers have handled Ben’s arc so well.

As for Gregg and Nancy attending couples therapy, I’m not exactly surprised. I do wish that they had parted ways but I do recognise that it’s such a difficult situation to handle with a newborn baby and I do appreciate the realism of it. I personally grew up with a mum who put up with way too much and lived a life that she was way above but she didn’t walk away because of me and my brother. I also see what people mean when they talk about wanting to see Beth take control and walk away from Dean for good because staying together for the sake of the kids is overrated, and I also see how this relates to wanting Nancy to walk away from Gregg. Believe me, I really want to see Beth and Dean part ways, with regards to their marriage. But I also really empathise with the situations Beth and Nancy are both in, for different reasons. Nancy can, of course, financially support herself and her child but Dakota is a newborn baby and I can see why parting ways with Gregg at such a time would be so difficult when they both want to raise their child and be around at all times as he grows up. For Beth, it’s really about financial security and stability and it’s so interesting to me that she continues to chase this with Dean, as he clearly has sunk the family business multiple times before (as discussed by Beth and Annie in 2x04). I think it’s become a bit of a habit at this point, which I am keen to see broken this season!

As for Annie attending therapy. I love it! I think Annie’s at the beginning of a really interesting, introspective path this season and we really saw it doubled down in this episode, with her being called out by Ben once again and comparing her life to a major road traffic accident. I really hope the writers continue with these random introspective moments for Annie, sinceI’m really enjoying them. Her scene with the kid prior to the therapy appointment was A+++, so funny! I wonder if that kid is going to turn up again, especially since he was in quite a few bts pics during hiatus. He’s such an amazing little actor too!

I’m really interested in seeing where her arc goes. We know that she develops an inappropriate crush in 3x04 and I think we all think it’ll be on her therapist; if this is the case, I’m really curious to see whether her therapist finds out and if he reciprocates because it would be incredibly unprofessional and unethical if he pursued something with his own patient.

Also, Annie is the manager! I straight up hollered during that scene. Mae’s line delivery continues to be hilarious and totally spot-on.

(Side-note here but I love that Beth was drinking a slushie again and that she answers the phone call from Ruby with “hey lady.”)

Judith, Beth and Dean

I really loved Judith and Beth’s scenes in this episode and the depiction of the archetypal mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. I particularly loved how it emphasised that Dean cannot defend Beth at all; not once in the entire flipping episode did he say a word to help her.

Throughout the episode, we see that Judith is a lot like Dean when it comes to Beth. They don’t listen to her and they don’t see her. Beth had to repeatedly explain that her workplace sells “not just cards” and this is strikingly similar to Dean’s blatant disregard for Beth’s opinions and thoughts.

I think the writers and Jessica Walter did a fantastic job of capturing the complexity of a character like Judith. I’m quite passionate about this kind of thing because I grew up in a family where it was commonplace to see a sort of bitterness develop in women who had suffered a lifetime of simultaneous oppression and complete disregard from men and who had, as a result, developed a kind of internalised misogyny. More so, I love that the writers portray Judith as a character who is very much aware of this bitterness and yet she still personifies what those very men expected of her and she now expects the same from her daughter-in-law.

And yes! I wished that the writers would touch on mental health again and I got it! The discussion about post-partum depression is SO IMPORTANT. Women aren’t just mothers once they have kids; yes, it’s often a crucial part of their identity but it’s certainly not everything. Not even close to everything.

Judith sacrified her working life to raise Dean because her husband made more money than she did and it was expected of her to raise a child; she did not feel like she could have both. She patronises Beth in this scene, acting as though Beth should know better by now. What I love most about this is Beth saying that Judith’s happiness was important and that she shouldn’t have quit. It represents so much growth to me because we’ve seen Beth back-slide into the misshapen family she has with Dean. This really represents to me that, internally, she’s moving forwards and she won’t let herself be held back by Dean.

(Another side-note but I love that Beth affectionately calls Kenny “KB” and that his full name is Kenneth Irving Boland.)

Beth

We talk about it all the time but Beth is veeerrryy good at compartmentalising. We’ve seen it numerous times. With relation to this scene, I love that she clearly feels weird about Turner’s death and that the girls seem to appreciate the possibility that she might be upset over it, as her and Agent Turner did have a weird kind of relationship that she enjoyed sometimes. I think, in her own way, she resented him but also respected his ability to see through her and match her. She definitely really enjoyed the high she got from one-upping him.

Despite this, Beth lays down the flowers and is all about business again. She processes her emotions and moves on and we’ve seen her do that a lot. She did it with Dean in 1x01, when she wrecked his study with a sledgehammer and yanked the pig off of Boland Motors but then went straight back to sorting out financial matters with him and being civil. She resented Mary Pat for extorting them but she seemed to come to terms with how similar they were in season 1. She was tearful over Dean’s cancer diagnosis but she processed it and came up with the idea to launder money through stores. We’ve seen it now with Agent Turner, her processing his death and moving on. I love how perturbed the girls were by Beth’s reaction; they really have clocked on to this side of Beth that they never saw before the events of seasons 1 and 2, how she can’t quite get enough crime and they are maybe now realising that Beth has always exhibited a kind of ruthless pragmatism.

The only person we arguably haven’t seen her do this with is Rio; she’s never been able to process her relationship with him. Following the ‘breakup’ scene in 1x09, she was clearly grieving something and she couldn’t move on like she had with any of her other relationships. Instead, by having him arrested (even if it was only for a short time), she ensured Rio could not turn his back on her.

As I said before, Rio’s shadow hangs over Beth’s arc and Beth’s shadow hangs over Rio’s scenes. Beth continues to learn from what she saw of Rio and she continues to try and emulate him. What I love most of all is that this is rarely successful, compared to what she manages to achieve in this episode by playing on her own, personal strengths, for example the scene where she speaks to the manager and lists all of the community positions she holds. Despite this, she has a lot to learn and she really needs to stop and think sometimes (gosh, I don’t know if she’s ever going to do that haha) before barrelling into a situation. Annie is absolutely right; Beth will never be Rio, no matter how much she tries to think like him or act like him, because they have their own strengths and the world regards them differently.

I do love that she has clearly learnt a couple of things from Rio, such as outsourcing in order to launder the counterfeit cash and, my personal favourite, she’s finally realised that there are consequences for screwing up. In this episode, she teaches Annie a lesson about how, if they continue to be taken advantage of by criminals attempting to renegotiate deals, eventually everyone will know and exploit it. It really reminded me of Rio’s rotten egg lesson in 1x07. Say what you want but these two definitely have some good teaching moments haha.

Don’t even get me started on Beth completely zoning Dean out and thinking about crimeing. She’s just always thinking about crimeing, so much so that she lets her mother-in-law come into her house and belittle her, solely because Judith is cleaning up after the kids and Dean (and ironing Dean’s boxers, eewwwwww); clearly, Beth’s priorities have shifted alot over the timeskip. That scene where she just goes full mum Bethie mode, serving lemonade and walking like an absolute queen to the truck, to get what she wants from the movers. That hair, those big blue eyes, that sweater and that French music! Perfection! AND SHE HAS A CHINESE SYMBOL TATTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! ON HER HIP!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED RIO TO REFER TO THAT AT SOME POINT THIS SEASON!

Ahem. Anyway, my second favourite scene in this episode was the scene between Beth and the mover in her backyard. Gosh, it was amazing. And I loved her blouse. The music, the intensity, the power play, the staring. Oh my god. I have watched it about 100 times already. It was genuinely a stunning scene and both actors killed it.

Dean and Gayle

I think there are two potential ways this is gonna go. Either Dean cheats with Gayle, after attempting to resist the temptation and grounding himself in Beth and their family, or he experiences some attention at work that he doesn’t necessarily appreciate, paralleling the attention he paid his female employees who were in a vulnerable position. Maybe it’ll be both?

Regardless, I think that this arc is really going to further separate Beth and Dean and their respective interests. I mean, so far Beth and Dean’s arcs have been entangled; even in season 2, Dean is drawn into Beth’s crimeing with Rio and the family business he inherited was used to launder money. Now, Beth and Dean have very different and separate storylines with regards to their work. Beth is crimeing and Dean is unaware of what she is up to, as she has absolutely no interest in confiding in him (I mean, she suspiciously asks him why he needs money from her; she clearly doesn’t see him as anything more than just Dean at this point). The only link they seem to share now isn’t the dealership, work or crime. It’s really only their kids. I think we’re going to see their paths diverge further this season, particularly following the kiss (which I think will be in 3x04 based on Beth’s flowery blouse in the released pictures but she’s worn it numerous times before and has already worn it in this episode, so who knows!)

Also, classic Dean paying too much gross attention to a woman’s body, even as a tattoo, making inappropriate comments and judging the movers for being ex-convicts. God, Dean is such a prick.

Ruby and Stan

The scene where Ruby felt that she and Stan were not being seen by the sales assistant was also really important. Gosh, I love how this show incorporates things that are not just relevant today but have always been relevant, you feel me. I also really loved that Stan defended his passivity in this situation with some very legitimate reasons. Fighting for what you believe in is great but it’s also okay to feel exhausted and just want to get something done. I really felt that and I feel like everyone can relate to that on some level.

I know nobody needs to hear me say this again but I’m so scared for Stan this season. Like, Manny has me scared by saying that he’s most excited for Stan’s storyline.

And yesssssss. Ruby confided in Stan. I’m so happy! What a stark contrast from Beth and Dean. These two really are the ideal relationship and couple.

That Ending!

It was basically painful to see Beth following up with Rhea throughout this episode, knowing that Rio had put the pieces together and was gearing up to reveal himself to Beth. I also love how genuine the phone call was between Beth and Rhea and it kind of broke my heart but it really is deserved. Gosh Beth, you are a whole ass mess and you and Rio really deserve eachother.

I have considered how this was going to play out so many times and I have thought of so many different ways it could have happened. We haven’t even seen it all yet but I genuinely think Rio revealing that he’s alive to Beth happened perfectly. I love the way we hear his voice first (just like Beth heard his voice first when she met him in 1x01), the way that the camera keeps Beth in frame and pans to Rio slipping into the chair next to her, not taking his eyes off of her and savouring her reaction. You can just tell that he’s thought about this moment so many times! I’ve said it before but there’s something in the way Rio moves, this kind of elegance and grace that I’ve never really seen before.

Him slipping into that chair is straight up perfection though. To me, it represents all the ways that Rio continues to just casually slip into all the parts of Beth’s life, just like he always has since the beginning of their relationship; it doesn’t even feel like an invasion, if that makes sense. That side shot we get of Beth’s face really captures how wide her eyes become, they’re practically swallowing her face she’s in so much shock.

The ringing in her ears, the way all the noise disappears from the room but we can hear the thunk of the chair as Rio sits in it and the sound of his hands clasping together, everything else becomes unimportant. THE WAY HIS HEAD IS TILTED. HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES HAS HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t even get me started on Rio’s extra AF ass kissing the bullets she shot him with as he lays them down in front of her and lists the organs that she injured in the 3x03 promo. We see how close he leans in but doesn’t touch her. I am so curious to see how he leans in and how quickly it happens. The faux gentleness in his eyes and face and voice, referring to her as “his girl”. Where is the lie?! Beth really is his mess to clean up. I am really loving the dimension that is added to their relationship with this. Like, I hate you and I want to kill you and I’m planning to kill you so nobody else can do it. It has to be me. And then when Rio realises that he can’t kill Beth, because of the bombshell she drops, I can’t wait to see that shift into something like I hate you but I guess I have to deal with you and nobody else can touch you.

As for what I think the bombshell will be. Lemme just get this out there. I don’t think it will be pregnancy for so many reasons, which have already been discussed in the fandom. It may have something to do with Beth’s operation, maybe it’s something that she does in 3x03 that we haven’t even seen yet or maybe we just won’t know until we watch the episode lol.

Anyway, I’m super excited for 3x03 and can’t wait discuss it and them speculate on 3x04 afterwards.

#nbc good girls

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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years

Note

Thoughts on scripted?

hey nonnie, so i’m so so sorry i kept you waiting for like four days for this but i just really needed some time to properly process and collect my thoughts (cause i have a lot on this) and take my time to get them down in a coherent way, i still feel like it’s a bit jumbled and unclear at times but i tried my best to explain my thoughts as best i could. i hope it’s sufficient...

My Thoughts on Scripted

so i wanna preface this by making it clear to everyone who may read this that this is strictly my own interpretation of things and my own opinion on what zayn’s trying to convey in this song. personally, i think this song is very much about public images, narratives, and stunting, and sticking it out through all of that, so that’s the direction/theme that a lot of my interpretations of the lyrics in this song are gonna lean towards. you don’t have to agree. in fact, if you disagree that’s fine and i welcome and any all rational and fair/polite discussion on different interpretations of the song and certain verses or lines within it. i’m in no way trying to convince anyone to see anything a certain way (and my own interpretations and thoughts/opinions on this may even evolve or change with time), but i was asked by this nonnie to share my thoughts (currently) on the song and so that’s what i’m doing, and if anyone has a problem with any of the opinions or interpretations stated here i just ask that you address me about it respectfully :)

ok now onto the song analysis:

Blurry TV screens

Fuzzy broken scenes

Finding words don't have flow

Blurry TV screens

Fuzzy broken scenes

Hold her close finding love

so this verse to me seems like it could be meant to have a double meaning, as in 1) the scenes or roles they [he and liam and/or the other boys] have to play out (i.e. stunts, fake dates, scripted interviews, etc. that they feel like they’re playing out like a scene in a movie/tv show - mgmt telling them hold her hand this way, hug/kiss at this angle so it looks more intimate, ok now let’s take this pic/video and then we’ll do another angle; making sure to only show pieces of the story like scenes and only the pieces and angles that fit the narrative they wanna sell, etc.) and/or 2) the time they get to themselves which often feels like only snapshots that go by too quickly and are like a blur/fuzzy in their minds (stolen moments together in between stunt outings and shows and things where they have to perform/are expected to put on and keep up their usual act for the cameras before they can go back to being themselves again/have some time alone together to just be again, etc.), and the “finding words don’t have flow” part could mean because he doesn’t know how to talk about it or express how he feels about it cause he just has so many conflicting feelings (or even just that he can’t talk about it cause he’s not allowed)

Hearts don't feel the same

And the names we like to say

Change with time and age

so this seems to clearly be referring to feelings changing - though not necessarily in a bad way, maybe just maturing and growing together and changing as people, as in the infatuation is gone and you love each other differently than you did when you first got together but there’s still so much unconditional love there it’s just a different (like a more serious or maybe even a deeper) kind of love, or could be referring to friendships (whether between him and the boys or other people from his personal life) and those friendships changing or even fading with time, or even feelings about a situation changing over time; it could also be taken a bit more literally too of course as well and have a negative meaning as in we don’t love each other anymore/don’t feel the same way about each other anymore/aren’t as close anymore (again whether between friends or a romantic partner, or even not feeling the same way about a situation anymore, etc.), it’s all up to interpretation i guess and how you choose to see it but i think it can be thought of in lots of different ways

for the names thing i think this can also have multiple meanings, like maybe it could be referring to names he and liam and/or the boys call each other (friendly nick names, pet names as a couple, etc.) and/or the names they’re made to mention/promo in interviews, like how some periods we would get a bunch of louis and zayn mentioning each other or niall and zayn mentioning each other lilo or niam mentioning each other, etc. and then other times they’d be promo-ing other random people (like liam mentioning charlie puth every 2 seconds for a while, etc.)

[fyi i’ll be skipping over any repeating refrains/verses since there’s no real need to re-hash things over again or take up unnecessary space with lines that have already been talked about]

So I

I don't wanna say what's scripted

Whether you are or aren't with it

I know what I need

'Cause I

I don't wanna say what's scripted

Whether you are or aren't with it

I know what I need

this part i think is pretty obvious (and i think a lot of people agree) that it’s most likely referring to having to say scripted lines in interviews and things of that sort and that’s why he avoids it so much, he doesn’t wanna be forced or used to sell the narratives they want him to sell and say the company lines they want him to say, he “knows what he needs” and that’s to stay away as much as he can from engaging in all the bs

but again i think it could also have a double meaning in that he maybe doesn’t wanna say or do generic things either and this can be in regards to life in general or more specifically with his romantic partner, like he doesn’t wanna say or do what he’s expected to say/do, he wants to be different and to do things differently/do things in his own unique way (in life in general, but also maybe in his relationship like finding other ways to say “i love you” or to show his love, finding other ways to be together that don’t necessarily follow “traditional” paths which also could be a nod them being in a [conventionally-speaking] “untraditional” relationship, which a lot of people would consider a same-sex interracial interfaith relationship between two huge self-proclaimed dorks lmao to be)

i think it’s important to note that he also includes a snippet of an interview shortly after this part in which he talks about sex not being as meaningful anymore with this generation and how that was a part of what he was trying to convey on ‘let me.’ which begs the question why? why draw attention to this specific interview (one that references ‘let me’) out of all the interviews he could’ve chosen? why draw attention back to such a romantic song (and to the idea of meaningful sex and meaningful relationships) in the middle of this dark part of the album that seems to (imo) mostly be about the negative sides of the industry? we’ll get back to my theory on that in a moment but in the meantime…

there’s also the fact that the melody of song is very somber through most of the song and i think that’s intentional because it kind of serves to evoke the pain and sadness he feels over his situation and i think he wants the listeners to feel and understand that as well and to understand why, to understand all the little things about his whole situation that make him so sad and the main thing seems to be that he has to “say what’s scripted” when he doesn’t want to and isn’t truly allowed to be himself or say or do what he wants as much as he would like. BUT—here’s where we get back to my theory on why he suddenly calls our attention back to such a romantic song and to the idea of meaningful relationships

not long after this point in the song (after the chorus repeats again) the melody suddenly changes, all of a sudden it feels less somber (at least to me), i would almost even characterize it as kind of tentatively hopeful/tentatively optimistic if i had to put a label on it, my theory is that he’s setting for the stage for what comes next, getting us ready for a change in tune (literally but also figuratively as in a change in theme) and then we get this

You'd still remember my eyes

Even if the Men In Black flashed

Their light into your eyes

For the second time this night

It feels right when it's, only you and I

so this seems to be a nod to a huge recurring theme on this album which is this idea of always remembering each other/always being fated to find each other (through space and time and making it together through all kinds of obstacles, etc.)—aka SOUL MATES—which so many songs on this album seem to reference over and over and over again…and which as an aside always reminds me of that moment in an interview (sorry i tried but i couldn’t find a link to it) where i think they’re talking about what would have happened in an alternative universe/timeline if they hadn’t gone on txf and weren’t famous or something like that and zayn says he’s not sure if he would’ve met liam cause “i don’t tend to do much in me own time” and liam’s like “but you might have” and zayn’s like “yeah but maybe” not and Liam Not Having Any of It Payne insists “but then again you might have”

but anyway all that to say that i think it’s clear by this recurring theme that zayn’s definitely since come around to the idea lol and has even adopted him for himself and decided to make into a running theme on the album and not only that but clearly he’s come to believe that the romantic partner (i.e. liam) he keeps alluding to in so many songs on the “icarus” side is his soulmate and they can make it through anything

[but again, as with a lot of the other lines in this song (and on this album in general) i think there’s a small chance this verse could also be have a double meaning as well, possibly as a reference to the fans and how mgmt/1dhq has repeatedly tried to basically do a madagasar penguins ‘you didn’t see anything’ move on us and act like the shit we know we saw never happened by panic-deleting videos and releasing bs articles and manipulating the boys’ twitters; it’s a rather flimsy theory i know, esp given that all the other lines surrounding it suggest that it’s more likely in reference to a personal relationship than a more general reference that could be applied to fans but it’s just something that’s been in the back of my mind ever since i first heard the song so just putting it out there]

Oh, you and I

do i even need to say anything about this?

he repeats it five times which…interesting number first off 😏 (and also separates out the other four from the first one which again - interesting)…but also makes it pretty evident that this is a line that’s being very much emphasized, that has serious meaning, that he wants you to pay attention to, that much is obvious not only in the repetition but the fact that it deviates from the composition of the rest of the song - the music changes/falls away to just a very simple (piano?) melody and beat, the focus is mostly on just his voice and it’s the ever enigmatic “you” that he’s singing to (that also seems to be a running theme on both albums, as he often—not necessarily always but often—seems to differentiate between this “you” and other people/pronouns/things referred to in his songs) in a slightly sped up but very similar style to the style of the harmonies in you & i, a song in which he had very notable harmonies with liam (that’s possibly regarded as the most unequivocal ziam song) that they often romantically and openly serenaded each other with (like specifically turned to each other just to sing to each other), that liam said was his favorite song off the midnight memories album, that liam got a line from (“i figured it out”) permanently tattooed on his arm right below the feather that was widely believed to be the missing feather from zayn’s then chest tattoo (and which many believed being with zayn was the “thing” he figured out), a song that liam cried during the first few times they performed it without zayn, and a song that’s about nothing be able to come between two soulmates people in love who are destined to be together and that clearly had a lot of special meaning to them both (and that the fandom knows and that i’m sure they also know is widely regarded as a ziam song because as liam said on many occasions they see what we say about them, they know what goes on and what we think about the stuff they do/say) - all of that leads me to believe that this was a calculated and very obvious/deliberate move by zayn to emphasize this part in the song so clearly, a [huge] red herring if you will, and i would argue that it has even more significance not only just because of all that’s mentioned above but also because of the fact that he chose to include these lines in a song on the “falls” side of the album, the side that’s supposed to be the more negative/dark side (and the side that i believe is largely representative of his feelings and experience with fame and the entertainment industry). which to me suggests that the overarching message that he’s trying to get across/convey with this song is basically that everything may be shit with how things are being run and the stuff he (and the other boys) are made to do and say but he’s always gonna go his own way and regardless of what gets thrown at them he and liam (and the rest of ot5) are gonna make it through together

#asks #anons #scripted #my thoughts #i hope this makes some amount of sense to some people #and doesn't come off just as just an incoherent mess #and all over the place nonsensical ramblings lol

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hextrals · 5 years

Text

rant post.

This episode was a mess for lots of reasons, and I absolutely need to rant about the reasons why, so here it is fellas.

1. This just fucking sucks.

Not only was this episode’s “reveal” painfully obvious from basically the very beginning, it’s also just disgusting. So we have this forth alien, this big bad, right? We don’t know who it is, we’re in anticipation. And who does it turn out to be? The brown muslim man of the group. Like, seriously? That creepy terrible person is a muslim person of color. Fan-fucking-tastic. Not only that, but the entire plot now is basically: the brown muslim man pretends to be someone he’s not, kills a bunch of people, acts incredibly creepy and makes the white people look bad for something he’s done. This is blatantly ignorant, outrageous and plays into absolutely terrible stereotypes. Unexcusable. Absolutely yikes.

P.S. For those who put Noah being muslim under question – please stop questioning tiny details, they just divert the conversation into a wrong direction. Because: a) even if Noah isn’t muslim, he is still a brown man, so that’s still plenty of racism for you, and b) even if Noah isn’t muslim, Karan is, so this still ends up playing into awful islamophobic stereotypes no matter how you look at it.

2. The only reasonable explanation is Maria has a clone.

So, what happened in this episode with Maria/Candy doesn’t make any goddamn sense. The whole “I don’t want you to leave” is just SO out of nowhere.

Let’s just recap what happened before. Maria and Michael have had a certain amount of banter. They obviously know each other, but they’re not close. Some people can argue that they’re friends – and honestly what you think about that simply depends on your definition of friendship, which is different for everyone – but surely we can all agree that they’re not close friends and don’t know much about each other. They had perhaps one moment of closeness, which was Michael comforting Maria that one time, but even then he’s done it mostly because he “gets it” and they clearly haven’t spoken about it. It was a “I understand feeling shitty and needing a shoulder to cry on, so here you go” rather than a “hey, tell me what happened, let me help, let’s get closer” type of thing.

Then, they hook up once, both clearly feeling nothing more than physical attraction towards each other. And let me remind you physical attraction and romantic attraction are two rather separate things, which not only often don’t align regarding a specific person (e.g. you’re physically attracted to a bunch of people – the ones you meat on the street, celebrities, etc., but you have romantic feelings only towards one person, in rarer cases a small amount of people), but also sometimes don’t align in general. What I mean by that is every person has a romantic orientation and a sexual orientation. For many people, they are the same (for example bisexual and biromantic), but for some people they aren’t (for example, pansexual and aromantic, or asexual and homoromantic). What I’m trying to get at here is: Michael and Maria obviously chose each other not because of some sort of connection they had (because – evidently – there was no time and/or reason for them to connect), but because they both know the other one is hot and attractive (some might even argue that Michael chose Maria because she’s Alex’s friend specifically, which is debatable, but possible, and disproves any sort of connection between the two even further). But just because they deemed each other attractive enough to fuck, doesn’t mean that they’re anywhere near developing romantic feelings towards each other. In fact it didn’t seem so at all – both vibe-wise and considering what Maria said multiple times both to Michael and Alex.

Speaking of what Maria said. First of all, the “it will never happen again” right after the hook up? There was zero amount of pressure on her to say something like that. She didn’t know about Malex, she obviously wanted it to happen the night before - it was all fine. And even though she didn’t have any feelings for Michael, they seemed to have a nice time together and casually repeating it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Still, Maria felt it necessary to make sure Michael knows something like that won’t happen again. And I don’t see any reason for Maria to lie about that – she clearly meant it.

Later on, when she’s talking with Alex and finds out that not only is Michael Alex’s current infatuation, he is also “the museum guy” and someone Alex feels hopeful about, which clearly means that Alex is in love with Michael (has been for a long time) and is still holding out hope for it to work out. Maria sees all that and assures Alex that it will never happen again, which is - of course - said by her to comfort Alex and assure him that she won’t hurt him like that again (which she realizes she did, even though unintentionally). But, also note how she’s repeating her previous words she said to Michael, and – as I’ve explained before – there was zero pressure for her to say them back then. So, this reads as not only her saying something to comfort Alex, but also simply stating what she’s already decided long ago.

While she’s trying to comfort Alex, there’s obviously a certain amount of pressure on her, since it’s an entirely new and a rather stressful situation. But, Alex isn’t asking any questions. And, Maria assuring him that it will never happen again would be quite enough. In fact, that’d leave some room for thought – some could then argue Maria has some sort of feelings for Michael, but is simply stepping away for Alex’s sake, which is why she didn’t mention anything about how she feels and simply said what she’d do. I don’t see it like that, but some might. However, with the first sentence, Maria also adds something incredibly important – she says it didn’t mean anything. Which to me seemed like clear cut truth at the time, especially because Maria had no reason to lie, since it wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do and she wasn’t really backed into a corner where she had to confess what she feels about Michael. She also doesn’t feel like the kind of person that would lie about something like that, because this is obviously important to Alex and the truth does hunt you down, so her lying about that really seemed out of question. Until this episode.

Not only did Maria say she doesn’t want Michael to leave completely out of nowhere, it was clearly so serious and dramatic that it’s much closer to “love” than “crush”. And, I don’t see Maria having a crush on Michael, but even if you think that all the scenes they had were full of romance and feelings, they’re most definitely not enough for her to develop anything more than a crush. So where the absolute hell did this whole thing come from? Hell, probably hell.

P.S. I would also like to point out that Maria repeatedly said no and never again to Michael/about the situation with Michael. The fact that they’re now showing that she wanted something with him and has had feelings for him this entire time plays into the terrible trope of women not really meaning “no” when they say “no” and encourages people to just push further (which is also kind of what Michael did) until the woman finally “breaks” and “finally tells the truth about how much she’s in love with you”, which… Fucking YIKES.

3. Michael, and whatever he is these days?

Honestly, Michael’s entire character was yeeted out of the window a couple of episodes ago, so I won’t talk much about this, but I just want to say that this episode was just him yeeting out further and further from what he originally was. All I’m gonna say is: Alex clearly left after he found out about Michael’s plans to leave, Michael clearly saw that, Michael also clearly still wants something with Alex, sooo…. Watcha doing, son? Make a fucking decision instead of tossing yourself around between two people like you’re a fucking ping pong ball. Also, what kind of decision is it again? Between this one person you’ve hooked up with once and whom you’re barely friends with, and this person you’ve been in love with for ten years, with whom you want to reconnect and who clearly wants to reconnect with you, even if it’s taking a while, which you understand entirely, because you know that it’s taking so long due to that person’s trauma that – and I can’t stress this enough – isn’t his fault? Yes, such a hard decision, no clear answers there, sir – absolutely not.

4. What is bisexuality, again?

So, I don’t know how many genders Michael is attracted to, but there are dozens of genders under the non-binary umbrella, so we gotta see him having a relationship with all those too, or otherwise he’s not a real bisexual!

Jokes aside, I mean come on! We were promised no tropes, and yet what are we going into? Slutty bisexual that can’t decide between two people of different genders. That’s what everyone knows to avoid, when writing bisexual characters, and you went right there. Moreover, instead of normalizing his relationship with men, because he clearly thinks he’s a part of “gay for you” story with the whole glitch thing and all, you put him in a millionth relationship with a woman. You’re just fucking up all ‘round, aren’t ya?

In conclusion, this episode was a MESS this was LONG and I’m ANGERY. Thanks for nothing and bye.

#roswell new mexico spoilers #rant post #long post

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parkjmini · 6 years

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Precarious // 8

mafia!bts: park jimin precarious: adj. dangerously insecure or unstable Psychotic, that’s how he viewed himself. He was a precise hitman who never made a mistake, until now. Set on an all kill mission, he brings back more than just blood stains. word count: 2710 warnings: explicit language, violence, drugs

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im back from hiatus (-: AND i thought id surprise yall with a chapter of Precarious finally after all these long, waited months anD I made this one a little longer as a treat bc i never update this story )-:

“Where the fuck have you been all day?” Jungkook pushed Jimin’s chest as he walked through the door. He didn’t respond. You, shyly, tried to hurry pass into Jimin’s room.

“(Y/N), stay.” Jin offered and patted the seat next to him on the couch. Everyone watched as you scurried quickly next to Jin, your head ducking down. It always scared you when all seven of them were gathered together, especially with Namjoon in the room. He terrified you the most.

Peering up, you saw Jimin taking small peaks in your direction. He was leaning coolly against one of the columns. Namjoon stood more in the middle, orchestrating everything. “We have a big shipment tonight. A big expensive shipment.” There was an evil shine over his eyes as he spoke.

“Why can’t Hoseok and Yoongi handle it themselves?” V asked, addressing J-Hope and Suga as their real names. They often tried to call each other by their aliases because you were around, but there was always someone who falters through. V --- Taehyung --- was the one to always forget. He’s messed up enough for you to catch all of their real names.

Steam came out of Namjoon’s ears and his lips remained in a thin line. He exhaled sharply, obviously annoyed with Taehyung’s statement. “Did you not just hear me say it was a big and expensive shipment? Do you think I am an idiot to allow only two of my men to transport when goons are everywhere trying to get their hands on the same stuff? When did we decide that it was okay to question me?”

“Do you want to die, V?” Jin slapped the back of Taehyung’s head. The young boy groaned in pain and apologized. Yoongi merely scoffed and rolled his eyes.

It seemed like Jin was second in command. He was very close with Namjoon and cared for him deeply. You figured out that he was the oldest among all the men. Jin had a bad case of rambling and making small talk.

“Pick up is at 2 AM at the loading docks. There will be two trucks filled with drugs, one arriving at 1:30 AM and the other arriving five minutes after. That’s where we come in. Get on those trucks and complete the exchange.” Namjoon paced and Hoseok leaned back casually in the couch.

“We’re hijacking them?” Jungkook asked.

“Why the big surprise, it’s not the first time you’ve done it.” Namjoon tossed two cream colored folders on the coffee table. Yoongi was quick to shuffle through the papers.

What he said next ran a shiver down your spine, “we’re messing with the cartel? This is going to be fun.”

“No live witnesses. Take care of it.” Namjoon eyed Jungkook and Jimin. They both nodded, but Jimin seemed out of it.

Namjoon scanned the room and he walked towards you. “Stay here and watch the house.”

“I love house watching---” the minute that left your mouth, you regretted it. You decided it wasn’t the brightest idea to sass the man everyone was afraid of. “I’ll stay.” You gulped.

He grinned and turned back to everyone else. “Times ticking.” He headed for the door and everyone started to spring up to follow.

However, Jimin began strutting towards you. Jungkook, puzzled, stopped him and shook his head. He shoved him off and Jungkook stared at his partner make his way to you.

You met him halfway, near the stairs up to the open front door. He automatically wrapped his arms around your waist. He head rested in the crook of your neck. You closed your eyes to soak in his embrace. “Be careful.” You whispered into his ear. He nodded into your shoulder.

Opening your eyes, you saw Jungkook glaring at the two of you. “Lover boy, we need to go. Now.”

Jimin kissed your cheek before letting you go and running out the door. The mansion was empty and you stood in their grand living room alone.

You missed Jimin already.

Jimin threw his hoodie in the corner of the van. He tied his bandanna around his face. His black t-shirt clung loosely to his skin. He stared out the window, thinking about the kiss you two shared earlier that night. He has never felt so warm inside. He loved how soft your lips were and how perfect they seemed to fit.

He didn’t want to leave you alone at the house, partly because he was uneasy about you sneaking out and leaving him forever. He didn’t know how you felt about him, but he had made his actions clear. He really liked you.

“So you fucking her now?” Jungkook whispered. Jimin snapped his head to see Jungkook’s dark brown eyes staring. He couldn’t see the rest of his expression because of his bandanna.

Jimin was thankful that no one else heard the kid speak. He shook his head. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it? You’re in love with her and she’s in love with you?” Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“No. She makes me feel different, safe almost.”

Jungkook threw off his hoodie as they approached the dock. “That’s ironic. The only danger you encounter is yourself, Jimin.”

The vehicle came to a stop. Clicks of a loaded gun filled the dark car. Namjoon counted down with his fingers. 1... 2... 3...

Then the doors slid open and everyone ran out. Jimin hurried behind the large loading tanks, closest to the entrance. The time ticked to 1:30 AM and right on cue, a big truck crept up slowly. There were two people visible to Jimin. There was the driver and someone in the passenger seat. Jimin turned around and spotted Jungkook a few feet away. He nodded and signaled for Jimin to go.

The passenger was the person closest to Jimin. Pointing the gun, he aimed directly for his chest as he stepped down from the tall vehicle. In seconds, he fell to the ground. Jimin sprinted to the other side and opened the door to the driver’s seat. Everything happened so quickly. The driver fell from the seat in a blink and soaked in his own pool of blood.

Namjoon came from Jimin’s left and pulled himself up into the trunk. He jogged to the back of the truck and Hoseok was already latched on. He was undoing the lock with incredible skill. Taehyung rolled a smoke bomb and voice erupted from inside the trunk.

Hoseok slid the entire back up and exposed the stacks of drugs along with the several cartel members. They were coughing at the sudden suffocation of air. Jimin took his chance and shot repeatedly, seeing red.

People began running from behind the tanks and attacked Hoseok and Taehyung. Jimin wasn’t registering the surprise ambush. He shot at their heads. Hoseok, taking the opportunity after almost being strangled to death, shot Taehyung’s attacker in the face.

It was suddenly 3 against 5 as more slowly appeared. Namjoon didn’t hesitate to step on the gas. Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok jumped onto the truck before it was too late. They were all shooting at the others who tried to stop them.

“Did you know?” Taehyung asked, panting.

“No clue. I guess they were expecting us.” Hoseok shrugged nonchalantly. Jimin watched as the second truck pulled up and Jungkook, Jin, and Yoongi repeated the same offence. They were becoming smaller and smaller as they drove away.

Suddenly, they were swerving and a sharp turn caused them to topple over onto the dead bodies. “What the hell, Namjoon..”

You wandered the vacant house, swinging yourself around the large columns in the living room. Your mind replayed your sweet moment with Jimin, forgetting that a feeling like this had existed. There was a time before this mess when you were happy. You didn’t think you’d feel it being with him, of all people.

It was almost foreign. This feeling of joy and wanting to be with someone. Your stay here had been long and difficult. It was not the life you had ever wanted, but it had to be something you had to deal with. And Jimin was there to guide you through it, along with his own repressed insecurities in his own mind.

However, your emotions were skewed, almost lost. It died along with your family. It felt wrong to be revived, mainly because your family couldn’t have the same chance. You hoped that you’d be okay one day and that Jimin was going to be there to heal with you.

Your mindless swinging stopped when you heard a car pull up and there was hushed chatter outside the door. Hiding, you crouched behind the large couch and held your breath.

There was loud, whispered yelling. Multiple voices echoed and you grew extremely terrified, your palms becoming slick with sweat. Your heart thumped loud enough for you to hear it in your ears. It couldn’t have been them; it was too early.

You waited and the voices stopped once they reached the door. The latches came undone, swiftly, and the figures staggered in. The lights flicked on and it revealed to be the gang.

Namjoon spotted you right when he entered and chuckled a little. “Next time, find a better hiding spot.” Everyone flooded in and you got up to see where Jimin was, but he never entered in.

“Where’s Jimin?” You asked frantically, looking past the weary expressions and shifty eyes.

“I told you she’d ask.” Jungkook groaned. “She’ll never notice he’s missing, yeah right. They’re practically attached to one another.” He rolled his eyes, for the hundredth time that night.

“Jin, handle it.” Namjoon ordered and Jin escorted you over to an empty room.

Jin’s concern expression didn’t sit well with you and you shook your head, assuming the worse. “Is he dead?” You asked, teary eyed.

He tilted his head and laugh a little. “No, Jimin? Dead? No way. There were detectives at the location and Jimin was bait.”

“He’s in custody?! And you all let him get caught? What is going to happen to him? Is he going to jail? ---”

“---Why do you care so much about what happens to him?” Jin cut your frantic questions and you blinked blankly at him, unsure as to how to explain yourself.

“Uh-- I--- well, I don’t know. Maybe because I worry for him.” You refused to make any further eye contact, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Why do you worry about a horrendous man who murdered your family and kidnapped you? Why care for a killer?” Jin pressed on and you leaned against the wall, searching for any way to counter his claims.

“Why did he let a rich, self entitled brat live when she was destined to be killed… by him? I guess we both have questions we can’t seem to find answers to.” You sighed and the young man before you smiled devilishly. “Now, moving on to questions that can be answered: what is going to happen to him and why was it him?”

“It was Namjoon’s orders and Jimin listens to him like a lost puppy, trying to seek comfort in a dark world. Jimin will be set on bail, which we’ll pay to get him out. He’s only going to spend a night in a cell at the station and then he’ll be back in your arms, babe.”

“All the while detectives grill him the entire night and hope that he breaks. That’s emotionally damaging.” The image of a stone-faced Jimin sitting alone in an interrogation room popped in your head, chills running down your spine.

“This entire lifestyle is emotionally damaging, you would know, wouldn’t you?” Jin taunted and patted your shoulder.

“I don’t think people want to join the mafia. Majority are forced, sometimes it’s their only option.” You groaned and stomped your way to Jimin’s room. Jumping onto his big, empty bed, you filled it up with your warmth. Your sad heart fell to the ground after being lifted, hoping that Jimin was okay.

“Why were you there? Was Kim Namjoon there with you as well?” The officer nailed Jimin repeatedly for the past two hours, however, he did not budge. He stared straight ahead like he was trained to do and he ignored every comment made towards him.

“He’s not talking and the bail has been posted.” His partner squeezed the bridge of his nose in distress and frustration.

“Fuck! We had them this time. What were you doing at the docks!?” The older officer screamed at Jimin’s face and Jimin only responded back with a blink.

“Maybe we need leverage.”

“Check the files, see what you can dig up.” He commanded and hurried to shuffle through the piles of manila colored folders.

The younger deputy cleared his throat and pointed at a paper out of Jimin’s view. “There was a murder of a family, did you have anything to do with that?”

“It was a family of four, but the daughter is missing. You didn’t do your job correctly, did you? She’s out there somewhere and when we find her, you and your entire mafia is going down.”

Jimin’s eyes shifted nervously and he lost his cold hard expression.

“Where is the girl, Park Jimin? You seem to be uneasy at the mention of her.” They continued to crack him further and Jimin gulped. He hated how they mentioned you and the sheer percent of fear set in his system. Jimin wanted to protect you, away from all your troubles. However, he was unaware of how to do so and acted too hastily.

You were his special secret, the only thing that brought him serenity and comfort. He couldn’t let anyone use you; he was not letting anyone have the chance to rob you away. He was genuinely afraid of losing his only happiness.

“I hope you never find her.” Jimin finally spoke and the two men stared at him in disbelief.

“So he speaks?” The older man groaned sarcastically.

“Boss! Bail has been paid, he’s out.” Someone opened the door and yelled inside. Jimin held out his cuffed hands to be released and the frustration in their faces brought him delight. Nonetheless, he remained wary at the mention of you.

He was unsure how much longer he could control himself. There was too big of an affect on him and he needed to shut them down; you interfered with his work. But he didn’t want to repress his feelings anymore. He had forgotten how nice it felt to feel loved or love someone else. Confused and conflicted, he walked out of the station to be greeted with Jin leaning against the car.

“You look horrible. Rough night?” Jin jumped at the sight of Jimin. He shook his head and slumped his heavy body into the vehicle and Jin joined him.

“I have a surprise for you that will make you feel better.” Jin said and Jimin peered over, curiously wondering what could possibly make his miserable night better.

You popped up around Jimin, who sat in the passenger seat, and kissed his cheek. “Did they grill you that bad?” Your voice was sweet melody to his ears.

His heart almost leaped out of his chest at your touch and remained quick at your affection. “Surprise! I couldn’t leave her at home because she was being so persistent.” Jin groaned and started up the car.

Then Jimin remembered what the police had said, “we need to go. It’s a risk that she’s out here with roaming police all around.” He tried not to get mad, he held it in. His fists were clenched tightly at his lap and Jin was pulling out of the parking lot.

“We’re going to be fine. I’m not going anywhere without you, Jimin.” He unclenched his fists, his heart settling calmly in his chest. Your reassurance brought him comfort and made his anger disappear.

“I missed you.” Jimin breathed into the silence and your rosy cheeks accompanied you for the ride back to the mansion. “You should be asleep at this hour.”

“I couldn’t sleep in an empty bed. It’s better with you in it anyways.” You smiled, in return, causing a light pink to dance across Jimin’s cheeks under the morning dew.

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dippedanddripped · 4 years

Link

Keary Kase created a legacy not only for himself but Oregon with his classic record “Oowee.” And with recording artists the biggest influencers in the world, during the current widespread of a social issue known as Black Lives Matter, Kase dedicates his star power to bringing awareness to the importance of unity against police brutality and social injustice. Now not a time to make people dance, Keary Kase is here to wake people up.

“We, as humans, have evolved to higher consciousness,” he says. “In the last 5 years, we have experienced a re-awakening. We are aware of our connection to each other and the detrimental effect that negative vibrations have on our development. The days of praising the lord in one breath and cursing the devil in the next are reaching an end. It has become obvious that both of those forces, however, you choose to address them, exist inside every one of us.

The universally recognized symbol of balance, yin and yang, depicts a white shape with a bit of black at its core and a black shape, with a bit of white at its core. That symbol masterfully describes the human race as we are today. Unfortunately, we have a group of people who want to continue with the current version of slavery that allows them to move with a level of impunity and shields their families from everyday struggles endured by those outside of the group for generations to come. The shackles are off. They are not going back on.”

While there have been plenty of celebrities joining the protesters in the streets around the world. There are a majority of celebrities who have shy away from getting involved due to commitments with endorsements and branding. Keary Kase is definitely not one of those individuals and frowns upon those who are more concerned with their bank account than morality.

“I’m definitely not afraid to align with the BLM movement. We saw artists release songs and videos in the days following George Floyd’s murder. I watched Nick Canon’s “I Can’t Breathe Again,” for the first time with one eye opened. I was afraid the Comedian might soften the intensity of the moment. Instead, he came off on point with it. We need more straight talk from artists, now, more than ever. I’m with it 100% and my music will reflect my support. My only issue with the movement is that it may be providing a cloak for any individual or organization wanting to undermine the true BLM agenda. We see politicians attempting to pass legislation at the Senate by feigning support of bills like the Emmett Till Anti-lynching Act while attempting to pass bills designed to lynch us. Love goes out to Senator Kamala Harris, btw, and the finger to Senator Small Paul.”

More than just a protest, Keary Kase involvement in the current movement is extremely personal, like most Black men in America, he ‘s been on the receiving in of police misconduct his entire life. Traumatic experiences due to Police’s abuse of power and authority which has become the normal understanding for Black America.

“When I meet a black man over the age of 25, I assume he has been wrongfully accused, arrested, prosecuted, beaten, judged, and mistreated. Often to the point of ruin (felony), leaving him with very few options to proceed with. Similarly, we are viewed by many white people in just the same way. The only difference is, they assume we are criminals by nature and that we have been justly convicted of any crime found in the record of our criminal history. They believe that aggressive arrests, beatings, and deaths occurring during infraction driven encounters are justifiable incidents in which a person of color did not comply.

When I was old enough to drive (16), I became exposed to police bias and harassment. Several times each month, I would get pulled over and asked to get out of the car so the officers could illegally search my car for drugs and weapons, which I told them I did not have. There is a suburb to Portland called Lake Oswego, which is known by EVERYONE as ‘Lake No Negro.’ If you are “driving while black” in Lake Oswego, you will be followed by the police. If you stay on one of the two main streets that pass through, they will escort you to the city limit and make a u-turn. If you happen to have an ‘intermittent tail light,’ you might get pulled over and hit with multiple tickets. This is Lake Oswego’s way of discouraging black visitors. The Lake Oswego Police Department should definitely be defunded. The first time I had to physically defend myself against police was age 17. There was a biker bar in Southeast Portland where my friend, his wife and newborn child lived. We would walk by the bar going to and from the store, throughout the day, as teens do. One night, as we were walking by, someone standing in front of the bar said ‘NIGGERS.’ We looked across the street where three older white guys, maybe in their 30’s-40’s, were standing and provoking us. We crossed the street to engage them and the entire bar spilled outside to surround us. A fight broke out and the police were called. When they arrived, the 6 or so police officers immediately started hitting us with their batons. I remember getting beaten by 4 officers, while I was on the ground, before being cuffed and placed in the back of a cruiser. Once the officers ran our names and realized we were mostly minors, they drove us home. None of the people in the bar were beaten, cuffed or questioned. It was Just-us. As an adult teen, I was convicted of a crime that I did not commit. The detectives told me it did not matter if I did not commit the crime. They said unless I told them who did commit the crime and the guilty party would verify that I was not involved, I was guilty.

In my twenties, I was shopping at a notoriously racist branch of a store called Fred Meyer, in Beaverton, OR. I had just purchased a karaoke machine and was waiting by the door for my friend to get out of the bathroom. A security officer told me I couldn’t stand there and I needed to leave. I told him that if I was going to be treated that way I was going to go to customer service and return the item. He said I could do it another time but I needed to leave immediately. I walked to the customer service desk where they refused to return the item I had just bought. The security officer grabbed my arm, I reacted and he fell, breaking his glasses in the process. Another security officer grabbed me from behind and put his arm around my neck. I started to blackout and was taken down. The police were called and I was arrested for trespassing. In the police report, they said I had damaged the karaoke machine and demanded a discount. It further said that I started yelling and making threats, then attacked the security officers as they addressed me. Again, I was convicted. After court, the first security officer approached me and said ‘see what happens when you go against us?” I replied, ‘yeah, you get your glasses broke.’

I often ask myself if that really happened because it makes no sense. Police are not our masters. They do not have the right to arrest us, beat us, or kill us when we don’t agree with them. But it’s not just the police who abuse power to the detriment of people of color, it’s the entire judicial system. The police are just the spear’s tip. Arguably, everybody gets the tip but we, especially black people, always end up getting the shaft.My friend, Sgt. James Brown was killed by county jail staff in El Paso, TX while he was serving a 2-day sentence for a DWI. In his final moments, while struggling with the 5 officers who were restraining him, guess what his last words were. Years later the video of his murder was released. I watched my friend, who had just been honorably discharged from the Army after 2 tours in Iraq, gasping and shouting repeatedly, “I CAN’T BREATHE.” He begged the officers, who were killing him, to help him. I became friends with his mother and stepfather in the years following his death. It is still hard to look into his mother’s eyes to this day. Justice for Sgt. James Brown.”

In a radical mood, Keary Kase supplies a soundtrack to the current climate with new music in the works. Displaying that same energy and impact that created classic songs like “Change Gon’ Come,” “What’s Going On” and more, Kase’s knows that today’s music can deliver a similar impact. He explains:

“I won’t be writing any love songs for a while, but for black people, being killed by police, former police, and the likes has become a condition of our reality. This is not news to us. If you listen to Hip Hop from the ’70s, when it was created, all the way up to the hip hop of 2020, (pre- George Floyd) you will hear a steady flow of lyrics about police bias and brutality and the killing of black people at the hands of the police. We don’t even call it “murder” because, until 2020, they were never convicted or even charged with the crime.

Speaking against the system through our music is what we have done since our ancestors were slaves. Today’s field calls may be repeated by a rifle.”

He further elaborates, stating:

“Thanks to the internet, fans will be impacted by the artists of today even more than they were by our predecessors. Whether or not the message will be delivered and who will deliver it is still a question. All of this is still so recent. As an artist, I observe life, collect data, and translate through my perspective. I’m still taking it all in. If other artists are in the frame of mind that I am right now, fans should be expecting to hear some of the most inspirational music they have ever heard from us.”

#keary kase #oowee #music blog #pdx hiphop #portland oregon #lake oswego

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sherrybaby14 · 7 years

Text

Nobody Cares 2

Summary: Jo’s first week at the Sanctuary

Warnings: Violence

A/N: Early this morning I changed my post to chapter 1 because I’m going to do this differently here. This posting of Nobody Cares is going to be linear and a lot more focused on Negan.

When Jo came to her head was throbbing. She went to put her hand on her forehead but couldn’t move it. Then she lifted her head and her surroundings became clearer. She was sitting in a chair, her hands were tied behind her back and her ankles were each tied to a leg. Her shirt had a large blood stain and her hair was falling out of the bun.

The room was dark. There was a single lightbulb hanging from a string. It looked like she was in some sort of basement.

“Look who decided to wake up,” a voice came from the darkness. “I was giving you another five minutes before I splashed you with cold water. It’s a shame really, that would have been fun for me.”

Footsteps sounded and Negan came out from the shadows. He had a chair with him. He set it in front of her and spun it around so he could straddle the back.

“Let’s me and you have a little chat.” He grinned at her.

“Go to hell.” Jo was surprised she stood up to him.

He rolled his eyes and kept his comedic grin.

“I told you to kill me.” Jo stared at him with anger. “I won’t help you with anything.”

“Of course you will baby doll.” Negan ran his hand down her cheek. “Let me explain the situation to you. Your friends work for me now. You are my insurance policy. It goes both ways. You want me to treat them nicely you treat me nicely. They want me to treat you nicely they treat me nicely. After all, I am a nice guy. I think we can all be cordial with each other.”

“How do I even know they’re still alive?” Jo twisted her face away from him.

“You don’t.” Negan continued to rub her cheek. “As far as you’re concerned they’re all dead. Don’t ask questions about them, don’t have me check up on them, erase the name Rick from your vocabulary.”

She twitched at the name Rick. The image of him dead on the ground made her gasp and a sob broke lose.

“So you are the fearless leader’s lady?” Negan grabbed her by the chin. “I would appreciate it if you looked at me while I’m talking. Lack of eye contact is considered rude to some people.”

Jo took a deep breath to stop her sobs. She stared at him with fire in her eyes. He released her chin and it ached where he grabbed it.

“I will throw you a bone and let you know your husband is still breathing, but how much you cooperate will depend on how long that stays true.” He rested his chin on the top of his chair and gave her fake puppy dog eyes. “Answer me honestly and I will make things easy on your safe zone people.”

Jo didn’t understand why he didn’t kill her. She would be another mouth to feed. Alexandria couldn’t afford to lose half their supplies. People would starve. Rick would understand that and sacrifice her. She would expect him to.

“What’s your name?”

“Go to hell.” Jo repeated.

The smile didn’t drop from Negan’s face as he lifted his hand and with a fast movement backhanded her. There was so much force the chair started to topple over, but he must have grabbed it and steadied her. There were black spots in front of her eyes, but he grabbed her chin again and the pain re-centered there.

“If you pass out on me I will get to use that cold water. It’s not bedtime yet.” Negan smiled. “I hate violence. I am not a violent person. I especially hate violence against women. You’re making me angry because you’re making me hurt you. Trust me, you do not want to make me angry. Let’s try this one more time. What is your name?”

“Jo.” Her face stung.

She hand a feeling this man would amputate all her limbs and send them to Alexandria before he let her die.

“Jo.” Negan repeated. “I imagine its short for something, but you can share that later. Now what am I going to do with you Jo?”

She shook her head.

“I know you’re some sort of nurse, but how could I expect you to treat my men? Let’s be honest, there is zero trust between us.” Negan sat back up and started tapping his hands on his thighs. “You’re a smart girl. Take a guess?”

A look of terror washed over her face. She knew what he was going to do and she wished there was some way, any way she could travel back in time and make love with Rick in the kitchen. Negan responded to her horror with laughter.

“I told you baby doll, not a big fan of violence against women. Besides, I already have five wives. Why would I resort to force?” He rose his eyebrows repeatedly. “Before I untie you and take you to your room I want to make sure you understand the rules. What are they?”

“Be nice to you and you will be nice to Alexandria and answer questions when asked.” Jo swallowed back her tears.

“How about behave like a proper guest too. That sums it up. If you break them not only will I be not so nice to you, I will have to take it out on your friends.” He stood up from his chair and walked behind her. “That includes trying to run away, I will shoot you dead and then have to grab another person you care about to take your place.”

There was a quick release and her wrists were free. She rubbed them as her ankles were undone. She thought about picking up the chair and trying to bash him with it, but she was too woozy from the multiple head injuries. She felt his hand on the small of her back leading her out of a door. They went into a hall with florescent lighting. Metal doors lined both sides of the hall. She tried to guess what sort of building they were in, but it was too hard to tell. Maybe a hospital? Or a mental instiution? He stopped in front of one and opened it up, signaling for her to head inside.

She took a step in and saw nothing. No bed, no blanket. Only a bucket in the corner. She tried not to cringe at the knowledge of what that was for.

“Someone will bring you some food and water in a little bit.” Negan started to close the door.

“Wait, can I have a blanket?” Jo asked.

“You want a blanket? A pillow? What do you think this is a Hilton?” Negan laughed. “You want those things you have to earn them.”

“How?” Jo was confused.

“You’re a smart girl. I said I wouldn’t take things without permission. I didn’t say I wouldn’t accept what was offered.” Negan laughed as he closed the door behind him.

Jo wanted to scream and cry, life was not fair. But she was sure she had a concussion and even though all her medical training told her to stay awake she couldn’t keep her eyes open as she passed out on the cement floor under harsh fluorescent lighting.

~~~

Jo’s back hurt from sitting against the concrete. It was hard to guess the passage of time, since the lights never went out and food and sleep were sporadic. She assumed it had been a week, but there was no way to be certain.

The only food they delivered was bland oatmeal, and sometimes if she were lucky it was delivered with a book. She fiddled with the pages of the current one since she already read it three times, debating on ripping them out to make origami. Every title was more erotic than the last, all stared submissive females.

If this treatment was supposed to break her it would last awhile. She was used to being silent. Besides, being in solitary with no blanket was a lot less scary than behaving like the women in the books she was reading.

She had called out in boredom once and if there were any other prisoners they didn’t respond. There was no round the clock guard either. Judging by the metal lock on the door it would be next to impossible to pick so there was no need.

The sound of footsteps echoed down the hall. Her food came recently, so she knew this was different. Jo braced herself against the wall and stood up. She saw the lock click and wondered what was about to happen. Negan entered the room with the scarf wrapped around his neck and same tight leather jacket and gloves. He came straight to her cell wherever he was from.

“Jesus Christ you look like shit.” His eyes scanned her up and down.

“Well I haven’t had a shower or a change of clothes in a week.” Jo was not about to waste the little water they were giving her on hygiene…at this point.

“Follow me.” He turned on his heel and left the door open.

Jo went into the hall. She debated on turning and running the other way, hiding until she could make her escape, but she had no idea where she was and the thought of Maggie or Rosita ending up in her place was too much. Negan led her to an illuminated exit sign and climbed the stairs. The first thing Jo noticed were the windows. There weren’t many, but it was night time outside.

To their backs was a main room filled with tables and people eating. It didn’t look like it was meant to be a cafeteria. She noticed they were not eating oatmeal.

“Keep up baby doll.” Negan’s voice distracted her from her rumbling stomach.

They came to a stairwell. Jo noticed the people they passed on their way dropped to their knees. It was off putting. She tried to focus more on the architecture of the building. She could not figure out what it would have been before the apocalypse. It no longer looked like a hospital. They continued to climb and she noticed the floors were mainly filled with rooms. After about six staircases they came to the top. Negan pushed open the storm door to reveal a giant apartment. The living space was huge. There was a bar to the left with four stools, a massive bookcase, a fireplace, and three couches. On the far wall were three shut doors.

“Wait right here.” Negan did not turn around as he went to one of the closed doors.

Jo was afraid. This was his personal space. She didn’t understand what he could have brought her up here for. She followed all his rules. He reappeared with a towel in his hand. She noticed some soaps and a razor were on top.

“Now so far you have been a perfect guest. I thought I would reward that behavior.” Negan placed the toiletries in her hand. “The middle door is a bathroom.”

“Thank you.” Jo accepted the items and pulled away when Negan gripped her wrist.

“I am giving you a little bit of trust here. Don’t do anything stupid. Take a nice long hot shower and come out when you’re done.”

She kept her head down and practically ran to the bathroom. She noticed the door did not have a lock and felt a bit disappointed. Then Jo caught a look at herself in the mirror. She lost weight from her already small frame and her eyes were starting to look sunken in. There was a yellow mark from the healing bruise where Negan had smacked her. Her dark blonde hair was so greasy it looked another color. The only thing that didn’t seem effected were her eyes. They were as blue as ever.

“I don’t hear the shower running,” Negan called from beyond the door.

Jo jumped, flung the shower door open, flipped the water on and stripped, wanting to take as quick a shower as possible. Negan might have been showing her a little bit of trust, but she did not trust him. Unfortunately for Jo the second the warm water hit her skin her resolve to be speedy dried up. She swore the water looked brown as she shampooed her hair.

Once she was satisfied her tresses were clean enough she started with the soap, scrubbing every inch of her body until it was red. The pink disposable razor looked like a gift from the heavens and she removed every bit of body hair, unsure if she would see one again. She hadn’t meant to take the toothbrush and paste into the shower with her, but they were there and so she eagerly brushed away a week’s worth of buildup.

Once everything was done and clean Jo debated on doing the entire ritual a second time, but she was aware Negan saw this as a gift. One she hoped to get a repeat of. With some remorse she shut off the shower and walked back towards the sink. She used the white towel to dry herself off and noticed some lotion on the back of the toilet. Jo spread some on her legs and arms noticing her skin was pink from too much scrubbing.

Her hair was filled with excess water and Jo squeezed it out over the sink. She ran a brush through it several times and repeated the process. It was starting to dry in long waves and already looked lighter than it had pre shower. Finally feeling as clean as possible Jo went to her clothes and noticed they were missing. A pit in her stomach grew. There was a light tap on the door and Jo went for the knob, squeezing it in place, hoping the person on the other side wouldn’t turn it.

“I can hear how tense you are in there.” Negan continued tapping on the door. “Those clothes were filthy. I didn’t want you getting all clean just to get dirty again. Open the door and I’ll hand you a new pair.”

Jo tried to think about what her options were. She didn’t believe him. This was too good, too much of a change from her cell in the basement. Something was about to happen.

“I’ve been good.” Jo yelled through the door. “I’ve done everything you asked. I..I…I was polite, I didn’t bother anyone. I was nice to you tonight.”

“You’ve been a model prisoner.” Negan grabbed ahold of the handle and started twisting from the other side. “But remember the other part of our arrangement.”

Jo struggled to grip the handle, but the humidity from the shower made it slip easily. As soon as Negan loosened it enough he pushed his shoulder into the door, sending her flying backwards.

“Alexandria is nice to me and I’ll be nice to you.” Negan grinned down at her with menace all over his face. “Well Alexandria wasn’t so nice today.”

#fanfiction #negan #twd negan #the walking dead #twd fanfiction

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averagemagicalgirl · 6 years

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Monthly Media: July Reading Challenge

Welcome everyone to this month's media breakdown! August is coming which means its time to wrap up July. This month saw me engaged in a personal reading challenge that I'll detail a bit more below. I don't know if I would call this month productive but I came away with a new found sense of confidence in my own writing so I suppose that's a good thing! This post is LONG LONG LONG (almost 3500 words!) and contains some spoilers so feel free to save it for later if necessary!

As a little background info: one day I went to Amazon and downloaded 62 free "cozy mystery" novellas. All these novellas were first volumes of ongoing series from their respective authors. I thought July would be the perfect opportunity to sit down and read them all, naively thinking at the time I could get through all 62 in a month. I of course did not, not even close because I forgot about life and other responsibilities and I also didn't think that some of these stories would be so terribly written that it would kill my desire to read anything for a day or two for recovery purposes.

I wish I were exaggerating.

I kept notes on the books I was reading and I've rated the books on a scale of 1-5 "stars", 1 being the worst and of course 5 being the best. Out off the 11 books I finished I was pleasantly surprised to see how many I genuinely liked but there are only a few series that I would continue reading. So without further ado here are my thoughts on the 11 books (and the 6 unfinished ones) I read this month!

One O'Clock Hustle by Joanne Pence ~ 1 out of 5; I really hated this book and as a result am disinterested in reading the rest of the series it precedes. The main characters were frustratingly one sided with badly forced chemistry and in the case of our heroine, poorly justified reasons that she was behaving out of character. She's described multiple times as being "by the book" and then proceeds almost immediately afterwards to be the complete opposite of that. It defies any kind of logic as to why a proud cop such as herself would jeopardize her beloved career on someone she says repeatedly that she doesn't know well. Innocent or not her "love interest" was putting her and her career in danger and she just let him. WHY? WHY, WHY, WHY?

I don't have time to speculate anymore and feel I'm much happier throwing this one into the trash heap and never thinking about it again.

Murder in Stained Glass by Margaret Armstrong ~ 3 out of 5; I'd read more if the second volume were under $2 or free. I had to go back and consult my notes about this story because all I could remember was feeling really let down by the ending. Mostly because the protagonist summarily makes herself useless at the very end. She mentions at the last minute climax of the novella that she didn't really do anything except buy the two young people in her life a tent and isn't that enough? I'm still not sure how to take such an abrupt about-face ending. The reader gets the sense that the older heroine is making progress somewhere in her investigation (there's an almost Miss Marple-like feeling about the whole story), and then suddenly the ending HAPPENS totally out of left field (which I enjoyed) but then because of this very interesting and "random" ending the heroine has to claim she didn't do anything at all?

As someone interested in reading more potentially it was kind of a slap in the face? Perhaps I'm putting more thought into it than necessary but I just spent my time reading your story and being invested in your character and they were functionally useless this whole time? Still, if the next book were free at some point I'd most likely read it.

Killing at the Carnival by L.A. Nisula 4 out of 5; I was going over my notes for this one to see if this story genuinely deserved it's 4 out of 5 rating and I still hold that it does. There was some preexisting history between the main character and the main policeman that they don't really touch on until much, much later in the novel. I'd read more but the other volumes would have to be free or bought with gift money at some point after other purchases. I honestly really enjoyed that there wasn't a romance involved despite the fact that I could see one organically developing down the line. The characters were interesting all around and I liked that the woman worked as a typist, I thought it was a really great job for main character of the time that you wouldn't perhaps see much of.

Murder for Neptune's Trident by Victoria LK Williams ~ 4 out of 5; I liked the characters and relationships in this book but it seems like it was written by someone who's more comfortable writing academically than creatively. What I mean by that is there were parts of the novel that read as very procedural and it was a very precise day by day account. It was a struggle to get through at times because parts of it were frankly boring. I would read more of this particular heroine though because I'm genuinely curious as to how she'd find herself in a similar situation. The story itself was so organic and natural in how it came to be and the heroine's reactions were BEAUTIFULLY believable like, she endeared herself to me immediately due to her very personal and realistic reactions to what was happening around her. My hopes for further reading would be that the author hits her stride and that the books become a little less precise and enjoy some extra fluidity.

Better off Wed by Laura Durham ~ 5 out of 5; One of the most endearing things about this story for me had to be the characters. The plot was well written/executed so that was a plus on top of just really feeling this aura of "fun" around the heroine and her friends. That being said I was mildly disappointed in the heroine being another one of those "no makeup/fussy" types because I've read a million of them and like...why anymore? BUT I DIGRESS. Having everything revolving around the life of a wedding planner was really interesting and different (most of the stories I downloaded seemed to involve baking???). I'm certainly keen to read more from this author about these characters. Well-paced and believable, I didn't have to bend over backwards trying to make sense of things going on.

Baking is Murder by Kathy Cranston ~ 4 out of 5; A really nice, romance free story with good character development and not a bad plot. It's a bit unpolished, I definitely had a hard time accepting certain things about the story but I enjoyed it so much anyway that I have a hard time giving it less than a 4. It's quick paced which is nice considering it's length and we finally got to see some BAKING! Oddly enough this was the only one I got through this month that included baking but I know I downloaded at least 5 or 6 novellas that either include baked good on the cover or have baking/cooking mentioned in the title. I still have a hard time believing most of the heroine's behavior was acceptable but I will admit that perhaps my "suspension-of-disbelief-o-meter" was very stressed by the time I started reading this book.

Two Tocks before Midnight by Clay Boutwell ~ 5 out of 5; A wonderful little story. This reads as a stand alone even though it's part of a larger series and I'm excited at the idea of there being more of these great little short stories running around. The main characters were older men involved in a society and I thought the plot and it's execution were quite well written. I'm certainly interested in reading more. They use some misdirection as well as later some dramatic letter writing that doesn't amount to anything but we get closure for it.

Nocturne for a Widow by Amanda Dewees ~ 5 out of 5; This book was a little strange for me because about a third of the way through I realized that it was a proper ghost story, which I wasn't fond of. I thought it was going to be more of a horror type situation but the story itself turned out to be pretty low-key in that regard. However, it's a very dramatic story with a lot of intense emotions constantly playing out. The love story at least felt organic in the way that only melodramtic Victorian stories can, which of course meant that the would-be lovers hated each other in the beginning and then were madly in love by the end. Still, not a terrible book and I did genuinely like the characters so I've made plans to eventually buy the other books in the series.

Peril at the Pink Lotus by Alice Simpson~ 5 out of 5; Originally I think I felt that this was a 4 out of 5 story but I couldn't give myself a good reason as to why I felt that way and so made it a 5. I enjoyed the main character and the story's pacing. Nothing in particular stands out to me either from memory or my notes which I think is okay sometimes. Not everything has to have one memorable part. As I look over my notes again I see that I liked how it ended and mentioned that it felt really natural given the way the story had been written. I do remember being surprised about something in the conclusion but in a good way. I would certainly read more.

Cinderella and the Dead Fella by Sue Heffer ~ 1 out of 5; Simply put this is a BADLY written piece of work. It reads like a super rough first draft with grammatical errors and plot inconsistencies. When I first finished it I had a lot of unkind things to say and then I spent the next few hours thinking about it and realized that the plot itself was a decent premise with the poisoning of a victim to the point where they start to behave questionably and is thought to be mentally incompetent. However, the execution of this plot was just SO VERY BAD.

It's very easy to say unkind things about this novel and I'm trying not to because unlike some of the other novels I read that I disliked I had this nagging feeling that this particular story was written by someone very new to writing. I went back to the Amazon page to try and find some more information about it but discovered that within a month the book was no longer available for download. My sincere hope is that the author removed it to polish it up, I think in time it could be a good story with interesting characters but it's not there yet.

The Art and Craft of Murder by Cozy Cat Parker ~ 5 out of 5; I don't have much to say about this book beyond that it was a good little read with the perfect amount of suspense. Decently written with an endearing main character and interesting secondary characters. I would definitely be interested in reading more from this author. There were some questions I had about the protagonists past but not nagging need to know type questions. I feel like the situation in which it will come up in the future will happen organically and I'm okay with that.

Murder in the House of Beads by Mary Jane Forbes ~ 1 out of 5; THIS BOOK JESUS WEPT. I think I might actually hate it. As I always strive to be honest, had this book continued the way it started I probably would have given it a 3 star rating. I might have been tempted to read another book in the series if I could get it for cheap or free; but it didn't. Somewhere around the 50% mark (according to my Kindle) the narrative NOSEDIVED HARD. I would have put it down but it took me another 10% of progress before I realized that something had gone horribly wrong with the story. By then I was so close to finishing it I thought it would be ridiculous to put it down. It was like the proverbial train wreck you can't look away from.

One my biggest issues with the story was a subplot that revolved around a secondary character named Wendy, a teenage girl. It didn't add anything to the story. Towards the end she was kidnapped and locked in the truck of a car to die and for what? Nothing. She could have been omitted at any point, or replaced with one of the other main characters. So naturally to me it reads as very antagonistic towards this young woman for literally no reason and I feel like whoever edited the volume really did the story and the readers a disservice by including the subplot as presented. Not my favorite book by any stretch. It didn't help that the last half of the book was sloppily written either. If you ask nicely I might share my VERY ANGRY notes about it.

THE UNFINISHED

I want to point out that I was looking forward to all these books when I started them for various reasons and that I might still finish a few of them at a later date. Some of them I deleted permanently out of my Kindle because I had no interest in going back to them. My mother gave me a great piece of advice that I'd honestly never considered before: "Life's too short to read shitty books," and wow is that honestly life changing.

Life's a Beach then You Die by Falafel Jones ~ Unfinished; When I realized this book was written from a male perspective I was definitely interested because I was (still am) under the impression that most of the cozy genre was feminine. Our hero is a former forensic computer guy who's just retired to live in I wanna say Florida. Of course he takes a private case involved in a suspicious circumstance which set his plot up predictably but not unforgivably. Honestly I put this book down because it was boring.

In it's defense this was the second to last book I picked up this month and had already read through some other questionable narratives. It was incredibly detailed and procedural and I feel bad saying it was boring because the information is relevant to the story in a small way and also because the author was trying to do a service for the reader. However, it doesn't make up for the fact that it failed to grab my attention in any kind of memorable way. I will most likely pick this up again in a few weeks to see if I feel the same way after reading some well loved classics.

Louisiana Longshot by Jana DeLeon ~ Unfinished; OH THIS BOOK MADE ME SO ANGRY. I was SO irritated I went to Amazon just to read why other people also disliked it. My particular ire was the result of realizing that I HATE the overused trope of "I'm a COP/SPY/SECRET AGENT not a WOMAN" passionately. The main character claiming that the former beauty queen librarian who knits (whom she's supposed to be undercover as) "has single-handedly set the women's movement back ten years." and then asks if she can "kill her next". These are literal quotes from the book and there is no indication that she's joking. If I had had the book physically in my hand I would have launched it across the room. I have no time in my life anymore for characters like that, there's nothing funny, cute or endearing about it.

In addition to a now awful main character I refused to be invested in, the plot itself was OVERLY convenient and very suspect. Less than 10 pages in and I already felt my suspension of disbelief being abused. So this one would definitely count as a "ragequit" as the kids say and I passionately refuse to read it further.

The Obituary Society by Jessica L. Randall ~ Unfinished; I was irritated when I put this book down and now that I'm looking at it again and through my scant notes about it I'm not sure why. I remember being irritated with the main character but not for any unforgivable reasons, I think it had to do with how the story was progressing because it wasn't doing a very good job at keeping me interested. I do plan on picking this one up again in the future because there's really no GREAT reason not to.

Murder, Curlers & Cream by Arlene Mcfarlane ~ Unfinished; Something I ran into a lot when reading these novellas is that SEVERAL authors seem to enjoy hinting at an event happening in the past to set up something about the current story, or to reveal something about the character. As a literary device that's acceptable, however many of them seem unwilling to go into much more detail and it's VERY irritating. In this case we learn IMMEDIATELY through an incredibly insensitive detective that the main character might have been involved in some kind of crime related mystery solving before. We get pieces of information after that but not much.

I have one note on this book at 30 pages in which means on some level I must have been enjoying it or was engaged enough to forget about keeping notes at the time. So in this case there might have been something about the main character herself that wasn't interesting me at the time so I put the book down. In a lot of these books I remember just being irritated at the way they were being written, like an overly far-fetched plot device that seems incredibly out of left field and unconnected to the story but also inconceivably linked to the future somehow.

The Corpse in the Cabana by Shea Mcleod ~ Unfinished; This book will remain unfinished because the heronine did not endear herself to me in a timely manner. She's intensely unlikable. The writing was also rather inconsistent and confusing in a lot of areas. Going back over my notes I can see that even though I was about 10%-20% into the novella I already had several things that were causing me consternation. It seemed better to cut my losses than continue reading something that was already irritating me and not enjoyable.

What was especially annoying was that the heroine is supposed to be a romance novelist who writes racy bodice rippers and while I can understand thinking certain words (like 'bang') are uncouth, her character balked at even saying the word sex, IN HER OWN DAMN HEAD. Is that necessary? It certainly seems out of character, especially from what we've experienced already.

Armed & Outrageous by Madison Johns ~ Unfinished; I'm still not sure if I'll ever pick this one up again or not. I've saved this one for last because I'm having a hard time putting into words what exactly made me put this book down. I didn't necessarily hate the characters, or think the plot was TOO off track for a cozy mystery, but I think it had a lot to do with how the writer presented our heroines. There was also a creepiness factor in the story that rubbed me the wrong way and not in a "supernatural" creepy way just...creepy in general. It's so hard to explain how uncomfortable the story made me and the only reason I'm reluctant to ditch it from my life is that I'm not sure if I picked it up again in a month if I'd feel the same way.

Reading other (not so positive) reviews on Amazon helped put it in a bit more perspective after the fact but I'm still unsure if I'm willing to leave it. I've decided to wait it out and see if the next time I pick it up to continue reading I start to feel the same way.

THE WRAP UP

It doesn't escape me that most of the books I disliked got more wordage than the ones I did like and the honest reason for that is that if I was engaged enough in the story itself I didn't note anything. I was willing to forgive certain things in the narrative if I was compelled enough to keep going. None of these books were perfect but a few were definitely better than others. I still have a lot of books to go but I think for my personal sanity I'm going to read them sparingly between other books of substance and personal interest.

See you next month!

#reading #reading challenge #books #mystery books #cozy mystery #novellas #criticism #opinion #book review #review #rae reads #spoilers #swearing #humor

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