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like-rain-or-confetti · 2 years

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The Box (Ragdoll x Reader)

You woke up one morning to a box at your door. You didn't order anything. There wasn't a return address, only your own. The box was fairly heavy so much so you had to push it inside.

You left it in your kitchen and headed into the bedroom to get changed. When you had returned the box was open and on its side. You blinked a couple of times, fear flooding your entire being. You hadn't opened the box and it wasn't the way you left it. That was all kinds of problematic. Furthermore, now that you had an empty box, you couldn't help but worry what was in your apartment that could one: open a box and two: get out of the box. You reached for your phone, not necessarily sure who to call but knew you should probably call someone. Suddenly, you froze.

You could hear crunching. Literal chewing noises. Slowly you moved towards the noise and found its source. It was under your sink, the only thing being between you and the source was your wooden cabinet door. Rather under-prepared you flung the door open and screeched, recoiling back. "Peter!?" "Hey, (Y/N). How've you been!?" The white mask turned to you, red dreadlocks framing the face. You knew this man. It was Ragdoll and he was folded up multiple times to fit under your sink. It almost resembled a snail. His legs rolled up twice between his hips and ribs. However the crunching was him, munching away on your bag of Dorito's. "Peter?" You began. "Yes?" He replied. "How did you get here?" You asked. "So I ticked off a particular cat and had hoped Jervis could hide me. He put me in the box and had me shipped to you. I'll give him credit, I didn't think he'd be able to get a full grown man shipped but here we are. Although, he didn't give me anything to eat so...hope you don't mind." He explained. "I mind on so many levels." You blinked slowly. "I was looking forward to those." "If it helps...they're delicious." He said. "It doesn't but I'm too busy being in awe that you're bending that way." You stared at him. He scoffed. "I'd be a horrendous contortionist otherwise, no?" You raised your index finger. "I don't think you have a spine." He sighed. "Don't be silly, dear. Of course I do! How else would I be able to stand?" He shifted and bent at an even more awkward angle. "Admit you don't have a spine!" You winced. He chuckled but said nothing. "Can you get out of there?" You asked. He sighed. "I suppose so." "Can I offer you some milk? Calcium strengthens bones and by the looks of yours... yours are very bendy." You asked as he leaned on your counter. "Water's fine." Peter shrugged. "Okay, I'm gonna make some calls because...I don't know what to do with you. No offense." You said warily and Peter shrugged again.

Out of pure luck, the Riddler answered his phone. "What do you want? I'm busy." He never offered a 'hello' and chances were he didn't bother to save anyone's numbers. Therefore for all you knew, the Riddler had no idea who was calling -and didn't care- everyone got the same greeting. "Ed?" You asked. "It's Edward. Force your brain to suffer through the rest of the name, it'll prevent it from going to mush. (Y/N) is it?" You paused. "Yeah...it's me." "I knew it! I'm always right. Now what do you want?" "Uh...I have Ragdoll in my kitchen." You began slowly. "Do you? Well, that's surprising. I wouldn't think you had anything valuable for him to steal. He's losing his touch if you actually caught him." "No, no, no! He wasn't stealing from me...I hope. Jervis sent him to me...in a box." You looked at Peter who lifted his mask. He grinned at you with a gleam in his mask before reaching for something else to eat. You turned away before you could identify what it was as the Riddler seemed to grow impatient. "Alright, however, none of this explanation seems to actually involve me so-" "No! Edward, don't hang up! I...I don't know what to do! He's apparently hiding from Catwoman, went to Jervis, who sent him to me. He got out of the box -by himself-, hid under my sink and is eating my food! What do I do!?" "Tell him to leave." Edward's tone told you it was the most simple thing in the world. You were not so sure. "I can't just- WAH!" You had turned and cut yourself off with a shriek. There was silence. "Are you dead?" Edward asked curiously. Your jaw was wide open. Peter was eating the Doritos again but balancing on his elbows and ribs on the counter, his legs were over his head and dangling off the other side of the counter. "You don't eat with your legs over your head and on the counter!? Who raised you!?" You asked loudly and Peter snickered. "How are you even doing that your stomach is over your head!" You yelped. "I'm still here." Edward drawled down the phone. "He's not even eating them the right way up!" You shrieked down the phone. "What do I do!?"

Peter rolled forward, legs on the floor as he unfurled the rest of his body to a stand that didn't last long as he bent back into a backbend and began walking to your living room. "Come sit with me." Peter called. "Peter, you're not even sitting you're in a backbend!" You screeched. You turned your attention back to the Riddler. "Edward, seriously, I'm not playing around. What do I do!? Should I be concerned that Catwoman is going to come in here!? Jervis knows where I live! Is Peter going to choke me out with his legs or make me wear him as a scarf!? What do I do!? Give me some advice!" There was a moment of silence before he spoke up. "Don't play twister with him. You won't win." Your jaw dropped again. You swallowed, trying to calmly let out your next sentence...you failed terribly. "That's it!? That's your advice!?" "Dear, you've forgotten where this is remotely my problem and if I would even care. Which I don't. Make sure you have everything before he leaves. Which he will on his own accord. He doesn't stick around for very long. Thankfully. He's just wanting attention, then he'll leave and you'll not be able to so much as track him down until he inevitably comes back for more attention. Now if you excuse me, I have real matters to attend to. Its been a pleasure, (Y/N). Farewell." The call ended.

You stared Peter down who once again moved his head forward between his legs to get a better look at you. He grinned. "Judging by that look, Eddie wasn't very helpful. Although I could have told you that. So now what? Do you have Twister?" "I just got an idea." A grin broke out on your face. "Oh I love that look, tell me more." Peter moved quickly towards you before moving out of his backbend to stand before you. He was surprisingly much taller than you had thought. "How about a trip to the Riddler, hm?" You offered with a mischievous smile. "Do I get to take the Doritos with me?" He asked. "Yes...but you owe me a bag." "You got it." Peter nodded eagerly. "Tell you what I'll throw in a bag of M&M's if you annoy the living shit out of him." You offered. "I do that just by breathing." Peter tilted his head. "No, I know. I mean, you actively try to annoy him every second you're there." You replied. He let out a giggle. "Oh I like you. You've got yourself a deal! Are the M&M's a freebie or do I owe you those too?" He asked. "No, those are the freebie, pay me back by annoying the shit out of him." You replied. He grinned. "I can do that." "Okay we need tape and that box. I'm going to print off a new label. I'll drive you there and then we'll stick you in there. I'm not a monster." You said and Peter practically shook with excitement.

"Okay, I'm fairly certain these guys work for the Riddler over there. They haven't seen us yet. In you get." You grabbed the duct-tape. Peter giggled with glee before getting into the box on his knees. You watched as he curled back and into himself. "Close me up!" He said and you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing at how excited he was.

You approached the work men outside the Riddler’s hideout. Or at least that's the disguise. You had their attention almost immediately. "Hey...um, I was told to deliver this to this address? I'm not sure if I have the right place...it looks...abandoned." You looked around the place. The 'builders' quickly got your attention. "I'm sure you've got the right place, love. Just let us check with the boss, yeah?" One spoke as he eyed you like you were a piece of meat and you nodded meekly. Another turned his back, quickly making a call. "You guys got a job out here then?" You asked. "Yeah." The 'builder' grinned and lit of a cigarette. "Apparently the Mayor wants to clean up the place and others around Gotham." You smiled. "Oh so you have your work cut out for you then?" You nodded pleasantly. "Hope you get a bonus or something at the end of the year for all the hard work. Gotham's a bit of a shithole." "Oh don't we know it." The 'builder' agreed. "We better get some kind of bonus or I'm lookin' for another job." You giggled. "Too right!"

The other 'builder' turned back around who had previously been on the phone and nodded. "Yeah, you got the right place." "Great!" You turned to open the back of your car and grabbed the box. It didn't budge. Oh. Right. Grown man. You looked at the 'builders' sheepishly. "Can I have some help? It's really heavy." A few of the group chuckled. "Sure thing, love." The 'builder' and the other who was on the phone walked to the back of your car. "I needed someone to put it in the back too. I'm sorry about this, I forgot! I'm so embarrassed!" You exclaimed. "Don't worry about it. Some of its quite heavy." You watched them carry the box up the stairs. "Oh shit! Can I take a picture of the box to show I delivered it? New company policy, as if I'm gonna need whatever's in there." You laughed. "Sure thing!" They called back. It was too easy, there's no way you weren't going to get a picture of this and send it to everyone you ever knew. "Thanks guys, you've been a great help." You smiled after taking the picture. "Can you guys manage?" You hoped with everything in you that they'd say you could go. "We can take it from here, love. Have a good night!" "You too!" You grinned and headed back down the stairs. The moment you were driving off you were cackling. You couldn't believe that had worked so smoothly.

"Here it is boss...where do you want us to put it?" The henchman asked. The Riddler looked over his shoulder and pointed behind him. "There- with the other boxes. I’m suprised, I wasn’t expecting that for another few hours yet." "That delivery person was a real cutie." He heard one henchman mumble to the other who mumbled back in agreement. "I was tempted to get their number if I didn't have Molly at home." The Riddler rolled his eyes. "I've heard about that company policy though. They're taking pictures now because apparently people are stealing the stuff? They were right, why would they want what ever is in here?" The Riddler quirked his brow. "What?" He turned in his chair. "Oh, sorry boss-" One of the henchmen began but the Riddler cut him off. "No, what were you just saying? They commented on not wanting what was in there?" The Riddler pressed. "For all they know, I could have ordered an excessive amount of gold!" The two henchmen blinked and the Riddler sighed. "Morons, never mind just go! I'm busy!" They left.

The Riddler sighed before getting up and briefly leaving the room fetching more diagrams. He didn't hear the crunch of chewing. The moment Peter heard footsteps walk away he pushed his ribs upwards. You had done quite the tape job. No worries, he could move his arm. Edward returned eyes scrutinising the papers in his hands. His eyes flickered to the the pile of boxes in the middle of the room before continuing. Suddenly he halted. All of those boxes were now open. One of them shouldn't have been. He looked back. No, all boxes were open. He dropped his papers and moved towards the pile.

The box was empty. That's when he heard it. Chewing. Edward scanned the room and yelped. There, dangling off of his machine, was Ragdoll. Peter held out a palm. "M&M?" The Riddler realised what had happened immediately. "No." He ground out. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe what had happened. Peter shrugged. "Suit yourself. Do you know they released brownie M&M's?" "No, I meant this can’t be happening right now!" The Riddler snapped. "Oh..." Peter replied. "...did you want a M-" "No!" The Riddler bellowed. He dived for his phone and began to dial immediately. "Oh, (Y/N)'s in trouble!" Peter sang with a giggle.

"Hello?" "You vile, insolent, roguish fucking-" The Riddler was almost foaming at the mouth with rage. "Ed! Ed! Ed!" You called back. "Listen, I have one thing to say for myself and I think you'll appreciate it!" You spoke. "What!?" He snapped. "Don't play Twister with him, you won't win." The Riddler screamed with rage and threw his phone at Ragdoll who ducked his head down. The phone narrowly missed him and smashed to pieces when it hit the bricks of the wall behind him. Peter gasped. "Eddie! You just broke your phone!" "Shut up!" The Riddler yelled.

Jonathan's phone vibrated, he looked at it to see he was sent a picture with the caption. ‘Peter's going to visit Eddie.’ He cracked a smile. If he listened carefully, he had no doubt he'd hear the Riddler's screaming.

Jervis squeaked as his phone rang. "Hello?" He asked meekly. "(Y/N) just sent me a picture of what I believe to be Peter Merkel in a box outside Edward's hideout." Jonathan said. "Oh? Should I have not left him at (Y/N)'s?" Jervis pursed his lips. "Oh Jervis...you might have gotten them killed by Edward." Jonathan chuckled. "Oh no! Oh dear, Mr Crane! That was not my intent! I only had Peter sent!" He yelped.

Her phone buzzed and Selina looked at the image and chuckled. "Time to pay Eddie a visit."

#batman #batman villains #ragdoll #peter merkel jr #reader #the riddler #edward nygma #oneshot #one shot

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pumpumdemsugah · 2 years

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There's a particular level of mental illness from Americans that talk about Megan Merkel like a daily mail reader

They swear this racist little country had a period where it didn't want her to die and found creative ways not to call her the n word

The idea someone is fake for struggling with having an entire country's media write endless racist shit about you and stalk you is just very amazing to me. You're so fake for saying you hate being chased by the media and having them interview everyone you've ever known. Boo you whore

Of all the problems with the royal family...this being their red line

#blah #i went on twitter to look at something funny and found unwellness

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nixontodd03 · 4 months

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Temporary Objectives Prepare Graphic Operating Memory with regard to Habits.

These studies aimed to discover MCC demographics within Asia, which includes chance, grow older, sexual intercourse, area, quickly arranged regression, along with pure/combined MCC. Employing PubMed along with Igaku Chuo Zasshi, 847 MCC cases involving '85 and 2015 ended up removed, along with the principal epidemiological characteristics had been referred to. The imply chronilogical age of almost all individuals has been Seventy seven.Five years. In connection with characterised skin lesions, 63.0% ended up on the head and neck, 5.2% about the trunk area, 14.6% around the second branch, 15.1% on the reduced arm or, Three.5% on the bottom, along with 0.6% about the reproductive organs. Histopathological more knowledge about the presence of other types of cancer could possibly be gathered in 611 cases, plus a coexisting metastasizing cancer, primarily squamous cellular carcinoma along with Bowen's disease, has been contained in 15.2%. Subcutaneous MCC was noticed in 31st individuals having a men female percentage of a single.'07 (16 men/15 girls). Nodal lesions using not known principal tumour location had been explained inside 20 patients with a man female ratio of Zero.9 (nine men/10 women) along with a mean age of 77.7 years. Involving 640 evaluable circumstances, impulsive regression coded in In search of.1%. Those types of Fifty-eight people, a mans female proportion had been A dozen.One inch Sixty evaluable circumstances (16 men/38 females). Merkel mobile or portable polyomavirus has been considered inside A hundred and eighty people, and the malware had been detected in Thirty-one.1% and never recognized in Sixty eight.9% of the sufferers. MCC is really a uncommon disease throughout Japan, with occurrence rates and guy female rates different type of via those invoved with the us along with Europe. Aside from, this study shows the top consistency associated with subcutaneous MCC and also MCC together with divergent distinction designs along with impulsive regression within The japanese in comparison with various other nations. A standard MRI technique phantom may be developed along with made to guage reader functionality, stableness, comparability and also assess the accuracy associated with quantitative relaxation moment imaging. The particular phantom is unique of traceability to the Worldwide Program associated with Products, an advanced level of precision, along with keeping track of by way of a nationwide metrology institute. The following, all of us illustrate the actual phantom design, design, image resolution standards, along with dimension regarding geometric distortion, solution, piece user profile, signal-to-noise percentage (SNR), proton-spin rest instances, impression persistence and proton denseness. mas ideal for quality assurance, benchmarking quantitative MRI protocols, and egfr signal move MRI from your qualitative image resolution technique to an exact metrology together with recorded accuracy and reliability and uncertainty. To gauge the analytical examination accuracy in the component-resolved prognosis system ImmunoCAP ISAC, weighed against oral foodstuff challenge. Methodical evaluate documented according to the PRISMA-DTA advice. Many of us incorporated analysis examination exactness studies evaluating ISAC aspect results as the index test along with dental food problem as the guide test, in folks of nearly every age suspected involving IgE mediated food allergic reaction for you to whole milk, egg cell, peanut, shrimp, hake, the apple company, mango, kiwi, melon, walnut, hazelnut, wheat or grain or blueberry.

#inhibitor #small molecules #chemicals #kinase inhibitors #tyrosine kinase inhibitors #enzyme inhibitors #protein inhibitors #proteins kinase inhibitors #phosphatase inhibitors #compound library #activators #modulators #agonists #antagonists

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financialsmatter · 1 year

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Saturday Rant…Demonizing Putin

Now that the German Foreign Minister openly declared that Europe is at War with Russia it’s probably time to stop demonizing Putin. And this confirms what we’ve been saying all along about how the West – AKA The Merchants of Death – is the aggressor for war by using Ukraine as their proxy. READ: Is O’Biden Provoking China to WWIII? …and the rest of the world (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), and (HERE). And since we’ve written numerous articles on the subject of war, Putin, Ukraine, etc., we’re turning today’s rant over to a reader named ThenCameBronson. So, take it away TCB. James, I fully agree with you that the West is the aggressor here…not Putin. And when Merkel recently admitted that the entire Minsk Agreement was fake, it really opened my eyes to how corrupt these people are. And she said how the Minsk Agreement was used to fool Putin in order to buy time for Ukraine to build its army to launch this war with the intention to invade and destroy Russia. This tells you that there’s no point in Russia negotiating with the West. And it’s simply because these liars have their own agenda, will say anything, sign any treaty, and then break it without flinching or remorse. There is simply NO WAY China will make the same mistakes as they watch how the West demonizes Putin. As a result, other countries like Turkey, India, and South Africa are turning against the USA and Europe because they can obviously see how the WEST cannot be trusted. Sadly, enough our history dating back to WWI shows a pattern of deceit showing how we lied to start most of the wars. And if you want proof, all you need to do is Goggle the “Sinking of the Lusitania,” or “How Roosevelt Provoked Japan” via sanctions and embargos. And let’s not forget about Iraq, Saddam and “Weapons of Mass Destruction” that never existed. But what really grinds my gears is how the war mongers in DC want us believe they’re not the aggressor here. Meanwhile they send M-1 tanks, bombs, guns, ammo, and are training troops in Oklahoma and they are now contemplating sending F-16's? But no000...We are not at war. And the sad thing is 90% of the population is clueless. They’d rather believe what the Presstitutes tell them. How dumb can you get and still breathe? ***************************** Thanks for your rant, Bronson. It’s obvious you’re paying attention…good for you. As always, if you – our Dear Readers – have a rant you’d like to share then please send it to us. You never know whose life will be affected by it. And if you want to see some NSFW rants then go (HERE). Remember: We’re Not Just About Finance. But we use finance to give you hope. ********************************* Invest with confidence. Sincerely, James Vincent The Reverend of Finance Copyright © 2023 It's Not Just About Finance, LLC, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you opted in via our website. Read the full article

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hecohansen31 · 4 years

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Or ANYTHING Gordon Merkel, because he doesn't get enough love/content..

(A/N): Hello there, lovely!

AND IT IS INDEED TRUE THAT OUR DOITCHLAND BABE DOESN’T GET ENOUGH LOVE... AHHH I JUST WANT TO WRAP MY HANDS AROUND HIM AND NEVER EVER LET GO!

But on more important topics!

Ahh I hope you’ll like this, it is low key similar to the Axel’s one, but... I have just had a bad case of baby fever... what can I say?

WARNINGS: Mention of Light Angst and Separation/Sex/A Child Who Doesn’t Want To Sleep.

Merkel softly raised from bed, trying not to wake you up.

You honestly deserved it, since these days you had been barely able to sleep one entire night, the baby needing you for food or a change of diapers.

That night Merkel had come home late, after he had dealt with some things.

Illegal things he didn’t want you or the small baby in the next room to be involved in.

When you had told him that you were pregnant he had been honestly scared of what the cruel world out there might do to you and the baby, and had even rejected you for quite some months till he had seen you around with the bump, pretty visible.

So visible that anybody who would have liked hurting him, could see it.

Hence, he had thought that you might be more protected at his home.

You hadn’t accepted it at first and had made Merkel go through hell before you allowed him to touch your pregnant belly, but when you had felt the first contractions you had gripped onto your hand, delivering the baby in a small private hospital as he brought away drenched strands of hair from your forehead.

‘You are doing so so amazingly, hase’ he had muttered against it ‘… just another push and you’ll have our baby, our pretty baby’.

You had shouted at him, but a few minutes later, crying had overcome your voice and you had both grown silent in front of the miracle of life: a pink puppy with a small smirk on her face.

You had had an healthy girl, Merkel insisting on naming her Adele, which meant for ‘nobility’ and you hadn’t been able to disagree since she was already ‘the princess of your house’, constantly waking you up at late hours and wanting to be fed at any hour of the day.

‘Don’t you think that she’ll grow fat?’ you had once, as your small girl bounced on your laps, clapping her small hands at you and Merkel, who was playing with her, showing and hiding his face and making random faces.

‘…no, absolutely!’ Merkel had retorted immediately, smirking gently at you ‘… she’ll be as pretty as her moma, won’t you little one’.

And little Adele had just giggled, alongside you.

He wasn’t able to spend much time with you, not as much as he wanted, but the wall was slowly coming to its breaking, he could feel it, and then he would abandon everything, get you and small Adele in the first suburban house he could find and work his way through peace and happiness.

But in the meanwhile he could make it up to you with breakfast in bed, letting you sleep softly the hours of sleep you had lost for taking care of your child, on who he checked as he went to get breakfast ready, finding the little one, barely a few months old in her crib, sleeping softly and he just had to lower himself to give her a kiss.

As he got up, he saw you, looking at him lovingly from the threshold of the nursery, a small smirk on your face as you adjusted his small fur jacket around your shoulder, to keep yourself warm in the cold hour of the morning.

“You should be sleeping” he commented, a reprimand although the softness in his tone.

It made you smirk coming closer to your lover as you softly hugged him from behind.

“… couldn’t… I already see you so little…” you muttered softly, nuzzling his back softly “… I want to cherish you for as little as I can”.

His heart tightened at your words.

“… it won’t always be like this” he muttered softly “…I swear that once…”.

“It’s ok babe” you softly muttered, kissing the back of his neck, raising on your tiptoes “… I don’t mind waiting, I got this little buddy to make me company”.

And Adele slightly moved in her bed, making you both hold your breath worried that she might wake up, again.

But she turned softly and started sleeping again, making you both utter a huff of relief.

“I wanted to make you breakfast” breathed softly Merkel, trying to lower his voice not to wake her.

“I’d prefer to spend the morning in bed with you” you replied softly, making him turn to you “… the doctor also cleared out the fact that we can get down and dirty again”.

And he felt immediately ready, enticed by the softness of your curves and the smirking smile on your face.

But then you yawned, remembering him that you might act all tough, but your body wanted some calm.

“… then go wait for me in bed, I’ll bring you breakfast and maybe…” he gently moved closer to you, till his lips brushed against your ears, making you shiver lightly “… maybe we’ll get down and dirty”.

And he thought he never saw you sprint faster away.

He sent a last look to the beautiful still-sleeping Adele, before he moved to the kitchen.

When he came back to bring breakfast to you (and maybe eat his own ‘breakfast’…

… you were asleep on your shared bed, completely passed out.

He just moved to sit beside you, pushing the tray on the small table next to you.

And then fell asleep beside you, finally feeling like he had all the time of the world with you.

#Gordan Merkel #Merkel #Bill Skarsgard #Gordan Merkel Reader #Merkel Reader #Gordan Merkel x Reader #Merkel x Reader #Gordan Merkel Imagine #Merkel Imagine #Gordan Merkel Fluff #Fluff #Merkel Fluff #Gordan Merkel Drabble #Gordan Merkel Ask #Gordan Merkel Blurb #Atomic Blonde #Atomic Blonde Fic #Atomic Blonde Imagine

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kn1feinthec0ffee · 4 years

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my rec list!!

fluff:

literally anything by @emmyrosee & @babyboy-cody u guys know how much ily and the fluff is SO SWEET 🥰

exchanging gifts by @spacedikut this is SOSO CUTE I LOVE IT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING

linen and love by @gaymemeaesthetic this makes me SO soft i love cuddly spencer 🥺🥺

sweater weather by @beautiful-writings pure precious softness

give love a try by @railmereid idek where to start but this is so sickeningly sweet and i absolutely adore diana trying to set them up its so precious & and morgan seeing how in love he is just makes me 🥺🥺🥺

angst:

to anyone who might care by @zhuzhubii this is so well written and realistic and just anything w spence & animals makes me 🥺

smut (under the cut):

(i don’t reblog a ton of smut but i have a couple recent faves)

@skrsgardspam the entire willard tings tag ohmyGOD

avoidance by @criminalmindzjunkie seriously i loved this SO MUCH sub!spence is my jam and this was everything to me

you ask me what i’m thinking about by @fellintotartarus idek what to say except i love this sososososososo much

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sorry to anyone who didn’t consent to being tagged in this but i just want everyone to feel appreciated 😊😊😊

#mickey x reader #henry pearl x reader #roman godfrey x reader #gordan merkel x reader #axel cluney x reader #willard russell x reader #bill skarsgård #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #cm #fic rec #fic recs #flora's recs

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rogues-gallery-headcanons · 3 years

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Can we get ragdoll relationship headcanons? Pease and dank u

Peter Merkel Jr. - Relationship Headcanons

He's a baby bastard, he has no subtle bone in his body so he will be the type that go "That's my S/O! They are the best! I love them so much!";

He's big on PDA! He will hold your hand when you two walk at the bare minimum, or put an arm around your shoulder. This boy is very touch starved, just hold his hand please;

He loves cuddles, he'll attach himself to your back and hold you like an koala, and it's impossible to get out of his grasp so you better get comfortable;

Make out sessions can be everywhere, he has no shame and no problem on getting a little handsy with you, just try to bring him to a more secluded area (if you don't want people staring of course, if you do go for it i guess);

#peter merkel jr #ragdoll #x reader #i like him so much #he do be baby sometimes #request #anonymous

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romangodfreyownsmyass · 3 years

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Dating headcannons: Merkel

The whole reason you even met was because you knew he was the best person to go to for fake IDs, and you needed one for yourself.

You met again after bumping into each other at one of East Berlin’s notorious underground parties. He calls you by the fake name on the ID before asking for your real name.

When you had your first kiss, you were at Merkel’s special spot: the rooftop of some building downtown where he keeps chairs, blankets, cigarettes and a radio. He slips in a Rolling Stones cassette, watching the way your face tilts up to look at the stars, until he can’t help himself anymore and pulls you closer to him.

When the heat goes out in the shitty apartment you share, Merkel wraps you in his heavy fur coat to make sure you stay warm.

When giving Merkel the side shave haircut he’s wanted for so long, it takes everything in him to sit still and not focus on how close your lips are to his neck

You’re favorite thing to do on dates is go to fancy restaurants and fake proposals to get free food

When Merkel comes back from missions, you practically have to force him to sit down and let you take care of him while he keeps insisting he’s fine

Sometimes he’ll let you listen as he stums away at his guitar, singing softly to some of the lyrics. He thinks his singing voice is terrible, but you love listening to it.

He tries to teach you some phrases is German, and can’t help but laugh when you completely butcher the words

You can always tell when Merkel gets home before you by the sound of David Bowie songs blasting from inside the apartment

Showering together is all fun and games until the hot water runs out after just ten minutes

Him trying to teach you some self defense skills may or may not always turn into a make out session

He likes to watch you fall asleep as he slowly runs his fingers through your hair. You both end up moving closer to each other while you sleep to keep warm

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skarsgard-daydreams · 3 years

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"Pfeffernüsse"

Note: This is for @scxrsgxrd :)

Warnings: sexual implications, 18+

You come home from work a few days before Christmas and find Merkel in the kitchen with an apron tied around his waist carefully taking a sheet of little rounded cookies out of the oven. The whole apartment is filled with aromatic spices and the scent of black peppercorns and molasses. You can't think of another cookie that smells so much like Merkel as Pfeffernüsse. He sets the tray on the stovetop and turns off the oven, retrieving a spatula to transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool. You walk into the kitchen and rise up on your toes to kiss his cheek while you try to sneakily grab one of the cookies. "You never told me you could bake," you say. Merkel wraps his arm around your waist and chuckles softly, swatting your hand away from the cookies with his spatula. "This is the only thing I can bake," he says. "Well, this and Rumkugeln." You pepper his jaw with kisses and ask in a voice sweet like honey, "Can I have one, Mausebär?" He finishes transferring the cookies and looks at you as though he's giving it consideration. "Not yet," he says. "I still have to ice them."

You're tempted to pout, but he turns to you and frames your face with his large hands, tilting it up and leaning down to capture your mouth in a slow sensual kiss that makes you momentarily forget about the cookies. You grab onto his shirt to keep yourself steady as your knees weaken. Merkel gently pushes you back until your hips are flush with the counter and then lifts you up, setting you on top of it. His stubble tickles your throat as he trails kisses down to where his fingers are unbuttoning your shirt. You drape your legs around his hips and press your palms against the counter while he tugs your shirt open and kisses the curve of your breasts. "You're trying to distract me," you mumble, acutely aware of the cookies that are cooling right beside you. Merkel presses his hands down over yours before you can reach for one. He sucks lightly on one of your nipples, making a gasp escape your lips and a tremor run through your body down to your center. "Would you rather not be distracted?" he asks, continuing to kiss your chest as a warm feeling spreads across your flesh. "N-no," you stammer. Smirking, Merkel shifts to your other breast and sucks a little harder. This time, you whimper softly. "Are you going to behave?" he asks, his playful gaze flickering back up to your face. "Yes," you say breathlessly.

He lets go of your hands and reaches for one of the cookies, holding it up in front of your face. You can smell the spices wafting in the air as you give Merkel a questioning look. "Then I suppose you can have a taste," he says. There is something surprisingly indulgent in his expression. He raises the cookie to your lips and watches your face while you take a bite out of it. The cookie is sweet and warm and spicy, with a slight crunch to it. It tastes like Christmas, even before it's been glazed with melted chocolate or powdered sugar. You hum contentedly as he feeds you another bite. "I never knew you had such a sweet tooth," Merkel teases.

You trail your hands over his shoulders and coax him down so you can kiss him again. "Some spy you are," you murmur against his lips, knowing it will rile him. Merkel gives a small growl and nips at your lower lip with his teeth. A second later, you squeal as he throws you over his shoulder and hauls you out of the kitchen, still wearing an apron dusted in flour. "You're in trouble now," he says, whipping the back of your thighs with the spatula. You gasp and try to squirm out of his grip, but you also giggle. "Is that a promise?" you ask as he wraps his arm firmly around your thighs. “With you, Mausi, it’s an inevitability,” he says. “Mm, good thing you’re here to keep me in line,” you purr.

#I like holiday Merkel #he's like vacation Merkel #but festive #Merkel #Gordon Merkel #drabble #Merkel x Reader

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ghost-proofbaby · 3 years

Text

winter’s first snow (gordon merkel x reader)

“i watch your face light up,

shades and emotions

that i’m not familiar with.

and for the first time,

in a long time,

i ache to see the snow.”

pairing: gordon merkel x reader

word count: 875

warnings: none

request: “merkel + snow but it’s in december” by Anon!! (thank you for the prompt ideas, those are always welcome!! :-) ) Also loosely based off a poem I wrote that I included a stanza of above so that’s fun

this is my first time ever writing for Merkel so uh, feedback is very much appreciated!! I also don’t speak much German so if the few phrases I used aren’t correct please please please tell me. this is also deliberately short, just trying to ease myself into writing on here. hope if you read, you do enjoy!!! (also feel free to send in any winter/holiday prompt ideas you’d want to see)

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Snow never phased Merkel.

He was so used to it, having seen an abundance of it in Germany, that it was an afterthought. The crunch of it beneath his shoes, the chill that turned his cheeks rosy, the shade of almost-grey the sky would turn - it was all background noise to him. Sometimes it was even just a nuisance. He wasn’t a fan of the cold, just numb to it all.

Until he saw it from your point of view.

It took him by surprise. The moment had crept up on him slowly, waiting until the perfect timing. One night when you were both on a rooftop, looking out across the city, the snow had started to fall with little warning. Your shoulder was pressed to his, layers of coats and blankets in between, but he could still feel the moment your shivering paused and your breath suddenly halted. He didn’t understand your sudden stillness at first.

And then he made the mistake of turning to look at you.

You were in awe. You resembled a child on Christmas morning, eyes shining as you watched the snow gather on the ledge in front of you, lips fighting the losing battle to one of the most gentle smiles he’d seen grace your face yet. Your cheeks were all pink and warm, lashes fluttering as you tilted your head back and let a crystal land on the tip of your nose.

“What, have you never seen snow before?” he tried to tease you gently to rid himself of the feelings for you that had begun to warm his chest, but it hadn’t even phased you.

Instead, you simply tilted your head and looked at him, finally embracing the oversized grin on your face as you bantered, “Have you?”

It was his turn to hold his breath. Your hair fell into place so softly, your arms stretched out behind you to keep your propped up beside him. Your entire body had relaxed as your eyes still flickered about the air to slowly take in the weather. He tried to take you in slowly, but he never stood a chance. Suddenly, he was on fire. It was below freezing outside, but he was sure his fingertips could turn everything they touched to ash in that moment. The flame crept up on him, just like the moment had, licking its way up the left side of his body and back down the right side. He swore you could see the smoke signals emitting from him. He just couldn’t get over the look on your face and how you’d flipped your internal switch with such ease, suddenly embarrassing the very cold you’d spent a better half of the evening battling against.

“To answer your question, yes, I have seen snow before. Probably not as much as you have but...it’s familiar enough,” you said, snapping him back to reality. His chest heaved once more, returning to normal rhythm as you looked at him with pure amusement, “Come on. You can’t tell me you don’t find it beautiful.”

All he could see in that moment was those eyes, big and glossy and hopeful. He could feel himself staring into them for a moment too long.

He barely noticed when he’d whispered, “Du hast wunderschöne Augen.”

It took you by surprise. Your eyes widened even more (if that were possible) and you sat up suddenly. For a moment, he prayed you’d forgotten all the German lessons he’d given to you.

“Is that so?” you challenged, popping his bubble of hope with ease.

He envied you. He envied the ease you carried as you set him ablaze, cursing him with feelings he’d avoided his entire life.

Between the stray lash that had fallen onto your cheek and the way your nose had turned a shade of pink to match your cheeks perfectly, Merkel questioned where he fell in your universe. He questioned if you felt the fire too. And if you did, was it just his residual heat that you were feeling? Or did you burn as well?

You pressed yourself forward. He could see the flames reflected in your eyes. It contrasted the snowfall behind you, the flakes getting caught in your hair.

“Merkel,” you said in a stern tone, face growing more concerned as he sat there unresponsive.

He could barely hum in response as he watched a snowflake drift down and land on your cupid’s bow, taking note of how your lips were growing chapped from the cold.

“Can you hear me, you idiot?”

These words finally break his trance. “I am not an idiot.”

“Yes, you are,” you throw your head back in laughter as he pouts gently, turning himself so your shoulders press together again. You’re almost back in the position you were originally when the snow first began. The only difference was the fire Merkel felt now, far warmer than he was before.

“Hey, Merkel?” you asked, turning your head to admire his frozen cheeks.

Did you feel the residual heat?

“Yeah?”

Did you burn too?

“Küss mich.”

And he did. Turning you both to ash on a rooftop in Berlin, in the middle of a December snowstorm, he kissed you and let the flames warm you both.

(German phrases used are “You have beautiful eyes.” and “kiss me” :-) )

#Bill Skarsgård #bill skarsgard #gordon merkel #atomic blonde #gordon merkel x reader #it chapter two #it chapter 2 #it 2017 #bill skarsgård x reader #writing #fanfiction #I don't know what else to tag if I'm being honest #my writing #can't tell if I hate it or not

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jackandjackiekennedylover · 3 years

Text

Pregnant

Gordon Merkel x Reader

Imagine you finding out that you are pregnant and scared to tell Merkel since he had always said that he doesn't want kids .

Shit, You said as you look down at the positive pregnancy test in your hand .

What am I going to tell Merkel, You thought.

Merkel had always told you that he doesn't want kids at all. Here you are holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand.

You are scared out of your mind. You were most scared of how Merkel is going to react to this.

Y/n. I'm home, Merkel said.

I'm in the bedroom, You called.

When Merkel had walked into your guy's bedroom. You were sitting on the bed and looking a little nervous.

Hey. What wrong, Merkel asked?

I need to tell you something? I'm scared of how you will react to this, You said as you look into his green eyes .

What is it, Merkel said .

I'm pregnant Merkel. I'm so sorry, You said as you cover your face.

Merkel just looks at you with a shocked look.

Ik that I said in the past that I don't want kids. But I want to keep the baby and I can't believe that I am going to be a father, Merkel said .

You aren't mad that I'm pregnant, You said.

No. I'm happy that you are pregnant, Merkel said.

Who are you and what have you done with Merkel, You said with a smile.

Merkel gave you a smirk.

#bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgard #atomic blonde #gordon merkel imagine #gordon merkel #gordon merkel x reader

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imaginesandbillskarsgard · 5 years

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Is it just me that gets Pennywise vibes from this? I thinks it’s the hands...

#bill skarsgard #hemlock grove #it movie #pennywise #roman godfrey #merkel #zeitgeist #bill skarsgard imagine #simon and the oaks #simple simon #it returns #bill skarsgård imagines #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgård pennywise #bill skarsgård gif #bill skarsgård x reader #bill skarsgård lockscreens

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hecohansen31 · 4 years

Note

I hope it's not to much to ask...B, C, D, F, J, K, M, N, V, W, and X for Merkel 🖤 pretty please

Smut Under The Cut:

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I do feel like Merkel is one type to observe more than to actually act, so I do think that any parts that might reveal a lot about you are his favorite: for example I do think that he’d love your eyes, whether they are shadowed for nervousness or whether they are bright for happiness.

I do also think that a second contender is your mouth.

On himself I do think that he kind of likes his hair, I don’t know he just seemed always perfectly styled (plus let’s not talk about the entire ‘waiter’ look, because I feel like he was silently screaming about that hairstyle...).

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I do feel like he’d also join the party of ‘I am not ready to be a daddy yet’, so he wouldn’t cum inside, and I do feel like he isn’t a big fan of messes so I don’t want to make this seem boring but he’d either pull out and come onto your butt, or outside of you on your front, the max he could I do think would be a titty-fuck... and come all over your chest.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is the most likely to tease you in public, he’d absolutely love nothing more than to finger you under a table, meanwhile he is plotting with somebody over a table and you are hiding softly your face in his neck and anybody would think you are just annoyed, but it’s because fucking Gordan is hitting just that spot...

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

I do think that he’d be a big fan of either doggy or missionary, with your legs over his shoulder, hitting you so deep that he’d see the outline of his cock right onto your stomach, but he’d also have the time of his life controlling you and teasing you from behind in doggy position.

Gently brushing the tip against your entrance and pushing it inside, just to slam it all and making you jump forward and choke a breath at its lagerness.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

I don’t think that Merkel is one that jerks off often, he seems the clean and polished type, who doesn’t have trouble finding somebody to stick onto his cock for a few hours and give him a bit of comfort from blue balls.

I’d also feel like he’d want his mind as calm as he can, and he’d try to do this by avoiding any distraction!

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

It can all summarized with ‘control’.

I do picture him as mainly a dom, although I don’t think that he’d be a cruel and ruthless one, he has seen too much shit in his life to be that rough with his partners, but he’d certainly be stern and have his rules, and would prefer to release a partner than to push him into something they are not into.

Soft and hard restarints, overstimulation (with much more of his hands), rules (a lot of), orgasm denial and maybe also DDLG, although he’d have an hard time with random hook-ups.

I also feel like he’d also try to sometimes to bring weapons in bed, like either knife play/gun play, again solely with partners he knows and is sure with.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Submission, like although he had an amazing chemistry with Charlize (I don’t make the rules, but she is his mom) I don’t think that those’d be the girls he’d go for, or be turned on by a show of power.

He’d be more interested in the soft girl that is sitting by herself at the club, trying silly to grab his attention with a few of attentive glances at him, but shy enough to not only make her deliciously blush, but to also disappear as he turns to catches them.

What turns him even more on, is shy girls that are deeply corrupted inside, like the same girl, pushing her panties in his fingers before moving out of the club.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Although he might like brats, he doesn’t apprecciate people who don’t take the BDSM life seriously, for example ‘wannabe doms and subs’ and alongside that also spiteful and spoiled people are somebody he wouldn’t be find in.

He lives breaking subs into submission, but he won’t be annoyed by people who don’t understand the relationship.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I don’t think that he groans much, and I feel like he is rather silent and even if he speaks he tends to use a lower and husky tone, which needs to be listened immediately, he doesn’t like raising his voice.

He doesn’t mind loud partners, he actually encourages them!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

I do think that he tends to be have his own movement of sweetness in bed, which are pretty rare, but sometimes he just wants to cherish his partners and focus on them, going down on them for entire hours and then maybe doing something more...

I’d also think that he is probably a swinger and doesn’t mind that lifestyle for both sexes.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He is pretty endorsed, although he has a more sleek appearance which he keeps even more attentive with the fact that he likes being attentive and ambiguous in an almost androginine way (also let me tell you he’ll judge your style so hard, bad style is also a pass for him).

#Gordan Merkel #Merkel #Gordan Merkel Reader #Merkel Reader #Gordan Merkel x Reader #Merkel x Reader #Gordan Merkel Imagine #Merkel Imagine #Gordan Merkel Fic #Merkel Fic #Gordan Merkel Smut #Merkel Smut #Smut #NFSW headcanon #Gordan Merkel Ask #Merkel Ask #bill skasgard #Bill Skarsgard Fic

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